#I think it’s the longest post I’ve made in a while

[sydnikov]

Fleeting || A. Svechnikov

Author: Sydney / @sydnikov

Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov / fem!Reader

Word Count: 17.5k

Summary: Every moment with Andrei is fleeting.

Warnings: 18+ smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f and m receiving), cheating(?), toxic relationship, alcoholic consumption, angst, cursing, no happy ending, Andrei-is-a-dick™

A/N: For those of you who have already been following me, you might remember this post—that’s what this is based on :) This is also the longest fic I’ve ever written so that’s insane, but sorry not sorry. Get ready, this one’s gonna hurt 🤭

*Minors, you are responsible for your own media consumption. That being said, I will not block you for interacting with this fic or my blog, but always be aware of the content you choose to consume and the consequences it can have.

Andrei doesn’t love you.

It becomes clear for you months after you start fucking him on the side. His likeness for you is merely an obsession, something to have all to himself.

You’re his, or were his, and that’s how he saw you. Nothing more than that, or at least that’s the conclusion you’ve come to after months apart lets you reflect on your relationship with him.

Spending a lot of time in your head, you think. About him, his actions, why he couldn’t love you the way you love him.

He always held you close to him, one muscular arm curled around your waist while the other likely held a drink in his hand. He paraded you around like a prize, happy to show off the hot piece of meat he likely thought of you as at his side.

It was hard to reach him, literally and metaphorically. You had to stand up on your toes to reach his ear, and the power imbalance just by your height difference alone only made the whole thing hotter, merely one aspect of your relationship you never really could get over.

Every time you spoke it had him grinning in a way that made you think he knew something you didn’t. You’re already so shy, too, and it’s what made up your whole demeanor, what drew him to you in the first place.

He likes sweetness. Innocence, quiet—that way you couldn’t rebel. And he loved it when you doted on him. You did your best to be everything he wanted in a girl, too. Bold makeup, skimpy clothing, speaking only to him and him alone. Best of all, you didn’t question him. His actions, his decisions, why he’d sometimes go days without speaking to you but once he called you again, you would come running without hesitation.

It took you too long to realize that he only liked you because you were someone he could fall back on when the freedom of his escapades got too boring and he needed stability. The thing is that Andrei loved you being his, but he didn’t want to ever be yours.

And you know this now, you do. The moment you went no contact and left his apartment in tears, you were calling your best friend for support and to reinforce the fact that he is the asshole, not you.

Sometimes, though, you dream. Of his hands on you, his mouth on your neck, his thick cock pounding into you from behind. The toxicity of it all that, despite everything, felt so good because your emotions were always on overdrive when with him.

Mostly, you liked feeling desired. Nobody had ever pursued you the way he did, even if your body is all he really wanted from you to begin with.

It’s been months since you confessed your feelings for him and he told you to leave; months of you wallowing, going to work, meeting with friends for drinks as a shell of yourself because without Andrei, life suddenly seemed colorless.

You miss him. The excitement, the tension, the way he made you feel. And you pride yourself on being confident, but all self respect flies out the window the moment his name is brought up. It’s wrong, too, you swear you know this, and you imagine countless times telling him off, if you ever run into him again.

For treating you like a body to warm his dick, a soulless individual with no feeling… You’re reminded of the last conversation you had with him yet again, the one that ended everything. You’d been seeing each other for months when it occurred. Months full of Andrei and the rollercoaster of emotions he had you on.

To get to the end, though, you have to go back to the beginning.

It’s January of twenty twenty-three, and you’re freshly twenty-one and experiencing the world in a way you never could before. Riding the high of getting your first serious job in college, it took no convincing at all for you to let your best friend, Maria, convince you to go out on a Friday night to celebrate your blossoming lives.

“Who are we meeting there, again?” You ask, painting your lips a bright red in front of Maria’s full-body mirror. You’ve already started pregaming, and your head is starting to buzz in just the way you like it.

Your blonde friend is quickly curling her hair, despite the fact that she’s had hours to get ready and still procrastinated until you arrived at her apartment. “Some friends from work. You probably won’t know them,” She says offhandedly, finishing her hair in record timing before snatching up the two dresses she had previously laid out on her bed. “Should I wear this in black or red?”

Raising a brow, you question her wording. “Considering I don’t work with you, I doubt I would.” Laughing, you turn your head away from the mirror to examine the two dresses she’s holding up to her body. “Do the red one, it makes your eyes pop.”

Anything would look good on Maria, though. She has this timeless sort of beauty, a blonde, blue-eyed bombshell that has eyes turning her way wherever she goes. You’d be jealous if you didn’t mind her taking all the attention off of you, considering you’re nowhere near as bold as her.

It will especially come in handy tonight, too, since these co-workers of hers are ones you’ve never met before and you don’t exactly plan on getting too close to them.

“This is why I get ready with you,” Maria sighs happily, unceremoniously throwing the black dress back onto her bed. “Oh! I almost forgot, I have heels for you!” She’s then running back into her closet, ruffling through a box before emerging with a pair of bright red stilettos.

“What’s with the red theme tonight?” You giggle as she tosses the heels to you. They look expensive, a brand you don’t recognize written in cursive on the inside of the leather soles. Maria insisted you incorporate red into your outfit tonight, whether it be subtle or bold.

She eyes you from her position on the bed, somehow managing to zip up her dress one-handed. “You don’t watch sports by any chance, do you?”

Throwing back the last of a vodka shot, you wince before responding. “My dad made me watch baseball with him sometimes?”

Maria’s face lights up like she suddenly knows something you don’t. All she does is hum in response, biting her lip like she’s holding back from telling you something.

Or, you’re just drunk. You’ve always been a lightweight. “What?” You ask anyway, finally standing up as you adjust yourself.

The blonde walks over to you, fixes the creases in your little black dress and affixes you with an approving stare. “Don’t worry about it,” Suddenly, she’s whirling around to go back for her phone, which is laid faced down on the nightstand. “Ooh, I knew those heels were a good choice. You look so good!”

As she saunters back over, wraps an arm around your waist, pulls you into her side and poses for a picture, you forget all about the abrupt topic change and the fact that her red theme with questions of sports does mean something, after all.

Truthfully, you still can’t remember exactly how you got from her apartment and into a high-end bar you’ve only ever seen advertised online. Bits and pieces of an Uber ride along with downing more shots come to mind, but it’s all hazy.

You don’t really care to remember though, either, as Maria leads you through the crowded bar, arm linked through yours, with a purpose. The music is loud, so loud you think you can see the walls moving, but that’s also probably just your swimming vision.

“Here they are!” Maria is shouting over the noise, and you follow her gaze to a group of tall, imposing men surrounding two booths right by the bar.

“Those are you coworkers?” You ask, a little incredulous. Scratch that—very incredulous.

She sends you a mischievous grin. “I said friends, girl. Meet my friends!” That’s what gathers their attention, and you’re suddenly reminded that she’s just as tipsy as you right now, if not more.

Ah, fuck, you think as one of the men come over and pull Maria into a hug. He looks at you questioningly after they pull apart, and you send him a small, nervous smile.

Damn it, Maria.

“You must be the friend she mentioned,” He says, again looking to the blonde beside you for confirmation. “From college, yeah?”

That seems to snap Maria out of whatever stunned stupor she’d been in, and she tunes back into your conversation by, again, pulling you into her. “My best friend,” She swoons, and yeah. She’s definitely drunk now.

“Nice to meet you,” He’s chuckling, and seems to be familiar with her antics. “I’m Martin.”

You introduce yourself and shake his offered hand. “Any leftover shots, by any chance?” While taking the lead in conversation with people you’ve never met before might seem odd, you don’t think you can rely on Maria to socialize for you considering she’s already falling into your side.

“I can check, if you want to follow me—ah, shit,” Martin curses, suddenly, then quickly apologizes to the two of you before rushing over to a man with a mustache attempting to climb on top of a table.

“Interesting friends, Maria,” You say into her ear as you reluctantly follow him, keeping her close. “Who’s the one with the mustache?”

She seems to gain a little bit of her wits back to give you a description of all the guys within your eyesight. “The mustache is Seth, super friendly but also, uh… Super drunk. He’s Canadian.”

You’re not sure why you need to know his nationality, but she continues before you can ask.

“And you just met Martin, right? Yeah, he’s really nice. His girlfriend, Nykki, is gorgeous, they’re both from Czechia. Then there’s the really tall one, behind Seth? No, other side. Yeah, that’s Jesperi. A bit of a flirt even though we’re all pretty sure he has a girlfriend, but he still won’t admit it. He’s Finnish.”

Maria continues to describe a few of the others, but truthfully, you tune out after Jesperi because a man about the same height as the Finn is suddenly approaching the group, and looks to be the only one Seth listens to because that’s who gets him to crawl down from the table.

You don’t know why he catches your attention so suddenly, but something about him… He turns, and you’re able to catch a glimpse of his side profile.

Immediately, you come to find there’s no accurate word to describe him. His beauty simply transcends any compliment you could give; instead, you interrupt your friend from her spiel.

“Hey Mare, Mare—who’s that?” Slapping her arm, you point towards the now-laughing stranger. He’s looking around as he does so, which is when he makes contact with your starstruck eyes. He looks amused, then seems to recognize the blonde beside you, and then he’s cutting through the crowd to meet you.

Maria gives you a look before also spotting the approaching stranger, and a large smile lights up her face. It’s a smile you’re very familiar with, one that enraptures every man who catches a glimpse of her pearly whites.

You quickly come to the conclusion that this is why she was so eager to go out. She’s likely had her eye on him for a while, and you struggle to keep the disappointment from your face as she purrs his name.

“Hey, Andrei,” She says, a little giggly. “Great game today, you all played awesome.”

Andrei… You test the name silently, liking the way it feels on your tongue. He’s even taller up close, and you can see the muscle definition straining through the fabric of his shirt. He’s huge, and you feel incredibly small standing next to him.

“Thank you,” He replies, his voice deep. A little husky, definitely accented, but you’re not sure from where. “Who’s your friend?” He changes topic quickly, and those dark eyes are back on you once again.

Maria, as ditzy as she can be, does notice the subtle change in him. Andrei has never been overly flirty with her like she has with him, and she’d be an idiot not to notice the way his eyes were drawn to you the moment he spotted you.

She’s used to having all sorts of attention from the opposite sex, and the Russian hockey player is all sorts her type. It’s amusing though, watching how you melt under his gaze, thinks ‘me too’, and then decides to help you out.

“This is my friend from college,” She introduces you, says your name and watches as he takes it in like it’s very important information. Grabbing your hand from where it rests at your side, she holds it out to Andrei for you, snickers as you send her a glare. “And this is Andrei. He plays for the Carolina Hurricanes.”

This is why she asked you if you watch sports, you suddenly connect the dots. And why she was telling you where all these people are from. Her friends from work are actually sports players, and you understand why she didn’t say it outright.

These guys, they’re famous, right? Your stomach twists, and you suck in a breath as Andrei takes your hand. His palm envelops yours, and he brings it to his lips to press a heated kiss to your skin.

The greeting is outdated, but for whatever reason it suits him. You think the kiss is a promise, too, as his thumb swipes over the back of your hand.

“That’s hockey, right?” You intend to ask Maria, but you’re unable to take your eyes off of Andrei as he slowly lets go of you, like the contact is riveting for him, too. “In the NHL?”

“Yes,” He answers. “You don’t watch?” You’re not a fan like he’d expect. Strangely enough, he likes that you don’t follow them. It makes you all the more interesting, someone new to pick apart for his pleasure.

You flush, turning red under his unrelenting gaze. Suddenly, you feel out of place with your lackluster hockey knowledge. “Not a huge sports girl, unfortunately.” You say slowly, but he catches your quiet words anyway.

He’s already tuned into you—has made you into a new game to win, in his mind.

“I can fix that.” Andrei grins, and it’s almost predatory as he smoothly slides his left arm around your waist. “Do you mind if I steal her?” He directs his question to Maria, but doesn’t really give her a chance to answer before pulling you  away.

Turning your head, you find her sending you a grin as she mouths something encouraging, holding up two thumbs-ups. She’s already decided that if she can’t have this sexy Russian, she wants you to instead.

“I like your heels,” His deep voice is in your ear, suddenly, and you take your eyes off of Maria to look up at Andrei, instead. “They’re the color of our jerseys.”

“Thank you,” You breathe, letting the warmth from his compliment wash over you. “Maria made me wear them.”

He clicks his tongue, like this information doesn’t surprise him. “She has good taste. Red is definitely your color.”

You flush again, finding that his eyes are already on you when you tilt your head up. Nobody has ever told you that before… Maria is always the one getting praise, not you.

The fast beating of your heart, shaky limbs and nervous breath, and you already know you’re falling for it. His charm, his looks, his confidence; it’s addicting, and you can’t force yourself to stop as you ever so slightly lean into him, letting his body envelop you.

Before you know it, you’ve arrived at the bar, and Andrei orders a drink over the loud bass that reverberates in your ears. It appears moments later - not fair - and then he’s sliding it towards you. You meet his eyes again as he smiles, raising a brow at your silence before he gestures to take it.

“For you,” He says. “Vodka cranberry. I have a feeling you like the fruity drinks, no?”

He’s right, as much as you hate to admit it. You’re not one for sipping hard, bitter liquor, even if it gets the job done. You’re not sure how you feel about him being able to read you so well, but you do like not having to carry the conversation.

“Am I that transparent?” You grin, though it’s laced with insecurity as you take a sip. It’s good, and helps calm your nerves.

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, malyshka. It’s not a bad thing.”

You wouldn’t know it then, but he already began patronizing you the moment you met him. The Russian language is full of double-meanings, and malyshka, little one, is rather mocking. For him to know you so well already was a good thing for him, but for you? Not so much.

Andrei sees right through you, and he has from the very beginning.

“You’re not American, are you?” You change topic, suddenly, using the unfamiliar term he used as an excuse. “Your accent, it’s foreign.”

“Net—no, I’m not. Most of my teammates are out of country.” He replies. “I’m from Russia. Just here to play hockey.”

“Do you like it? Here in Raleigh?” You ask, a pitiful form of small talk to keep this sudden tension at bay.

“I do.” He replies. “I like it a whole lot more now that I’ve met you, though.” And then he’s smiling again, a grin rather feral as he looks at you like you’re his prey waiting to be devoured. He’s incredibly smooth as he puts his hands back on you, one sliding around the circumference of your waist while the other brings your hand holding the drink to his lips, taking a sip from the glass.

Your eyes go half-lidded at the motion, and Andrei knows he has you—hook, line, and sinker. He loves this game, but he thinks he likes you a little bit more than that, too.

Not that he’ll ever admit it.

“You just met me,” You blurt, overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze.

Andrei, to his credit, takes your nervousness in stride. He finds it cute that he has that effect on you. “And I like you,” He counters, flashing a dazzling smile. “You’re cute. Small, like kisa.”

“Kisa?” You try out the unfamiliar word, your attempt at a Russian accent definitely not as sexy as his.

“Kitten,” He translates. “Will you purr for me?” It’s so disgustingly cheesy you can’t help but grimace, and Andrei laughs at the look on your face.

He steps closer, even more than he was before, and the way he looks down on you only makes the difference in height that much more noticeable. He’s so big… Normally you’d feel caged, but with him it feels safe, and that’s probably a red flag you won’t discover until much later.

You struggle finding something to say, but he beats you to it. “I’d like your number, if you’re willing to give it.” And he’s so smooth, so conniving with the way he asks it because he’s not demanding at all, letting you think you have all the power.

“Okay,” You breathe, eyes widening in awe as you don’t even have the chance to pull out your phone before he’s sliding his own into your hands. “You can add your contact.” He instructs, watching you type in your information.

It looks informal, your first and last name in his phone like you’re merely a coworker. You’ll blame it on you being tipsy later, but you add a smiley face at the end of your name, hoping it makes you stand out. You don’t know how many girls he has in his contacts but you’re not naive enough to think you’re the only one.

You lick your lips almost subconsciously as you hand Andrei his phone back, and he zeroes in on the motion. Suddenly, he has the urge to kiss you, and so he does just that. It catches you by surprise, but soon enough you’re melting into him as one large hand cradles your jaw, keeping you tilted up to him.

Andrei tastes like sin, like temptation and all things bad you were told to never get involved in as a kid. A forbidden fruit, perhaps, and there’s even hints of cranberry left on his tongue to cement that fact.

“Andrei…” You hum in surprise as he deepens the kiss, his lips soft and heavenly. It takes everything in you to pull back, to separate yourself from the addicting taste of him. “Wait, I don’t, um—”

You pause. Andrei looks confused, perhaps a little alarmed as his eyes flit over your face. “You don’t… Kiss anyone?”

“No! No,” You lower your voice, not wanting to attract any attention. “Of course I do. I just, I don’t hook up. For fun. Ever.”

He frowns, like he can’t fathom the idea that you don’t enjoy sex with no strings attached.

“Really,” he says, not quite a question. “You’re beautiful, though.” The charm comes back full force as his hand comes to brush away some of your hair that had fallen into your face. “Surely you have suitors, no?”

Your throat tightens, and suddenly your eyes are glassy as he looks at you with so much reassurance and affection. “Maria usually gets the ‘suitors’, not me.”

“I don’t believe that.” He responds immediately, and he looks so sure of himself as his head lowers, his eyes looking back and forth from yours to your lips, and you’re helpless to stop him as the hand moving your hair comes to rest on your cheek.

It’s all very convincing, the sudden care and adoration… You’ve never had a man treat you so delicate, like a prized possession, and you fall for it all too quickly.

“Let me take you out?” He soon asks, and there’s nothing you can really respond with other than yes.

Everything happens so quickly from here. Andrei becomes a centerpiece in your life, and you’re helpless to stop it as you fall for everything about him. You don’t truly become his ‘girlfriend’, but you are something more. Secret dates and midnight drives where no one can see you confirm that.

That’s why you think he’s finally turning serious about you when he shows up to your apartment at the beginning of March a few weeks before his playoffs start. He holds a large bouquet of roses, except your favorite flowers are gardenias because they remind you of your mom so your smile wobbles a little bit, but you let it slide for the romanticism of it all.

Andrei grins, the whites of his teeth blinding and he pulls you in and kisses the top of your head. He asks you if you’ll come to his playoff games, wear a WAG jacket and act as if what you are is official. You think you truly mean something to him after this, even though he never actually confirms it.

Suddenly you’re Andrei’s girl (but not really) and it becomes your entire identity. You essentially live with him as the playoffs come around, taking care of his apartment while he’s on the road. He talks of getting a dog over the summer, and you’re enthusiastic in your encouragement because you’ll have a friend to keep you company while he’s on the road.

His injury happens, though, and he’s out for good, at least for the rest of the season. You don’t know how to comfort him because your ‘relationship’ is so new, and it’s hard for you to understand why the anger at himself cuts so deep.

Ultimately, you fix the rough patch with sex. Lots and lots of sex. He works through his frustrations by taking you long, hard, and deep, mostly with him on top holding your throat while you take it like the good girl he tells you you are.

“‘Drei, your leg,” You remember saying to him one time as he slams you onto his bed, rolling directly on top of you. He doesn’t seem to hear you at first, too busy laying kisses to your neck.

“I don’t care.” He eventually responds, looking at you so darkly it leaves you shivering. He eats you out afterwards, and, well—you don’t have any more protests after that.

They win the first series against the New York Islanders in six games, and the moment the final goal is scored in overtime you’re jumping out of your seat along with the other WAG’s at one of their houses.

It’s exhilarating, rooting for something with every ounce of your being. You do it for Andrei - who still isn’t playing, but he was there watching - but mostly for yourself because you love the feeling of belonging to a community so close.

The second series ends sooner than the first, a five game victory over the New Jersey Devils, and this time you are at that final game. You sit with Andrei in a private booth at the top of PNC Arena, gripping his arm that also holds onto your thigh with the same amount of intensity.

The moment the final goal is scored - also in overtime - you’re hunching over your seat releasing a long breath. Andrei attempts to rise, then likely remembers his leg which forces him to grip the arms of his chair in strained acceptance.

“They did it,” You hear him whisper, like he can’t believe they actually came out of this series alive. “They did it.” He repeats himself, louder and more confident. You’re still folded over yourself, letting the anxiety drain out of you when he grabs your hand and tangles your fingers together.

“My kisa,” He says, waiting for you to turn your head so he can smile brilliantly at you. “We did it.”

“Not we,” And you grin back, because there’s nothing else for you to do but match his ecstasy. “You did it.”

“I didn’t even play,” Andrei is laughing, soaking in your praise like a sponge. “But I was here, wasn’t I?”

“You mean more to them than you’ll ever know.” More to me than you’ll ever know, you want to say, but hold back on that particular vulnerability.

After he finishes the team meeting in the locker room, you take him back to his house. He still hasn’t been given the all clear to drive, so you’ve taken up caretaker duties along with his mother.

You don’t think she likes you very much, either, but Andrei just says it takes a while for her to warm up to new people. Thankfully, she’s never around when you are though, because as you close the front door to his house he gives you a look equating to a meal he wants to devour.

Andrei seems to forget all about his knee, again, when he moves into you, pushing you back against the front door. “You drive me crazy.” He mumbles into your lips, and you don’t think you’re meant to respond as he moves to your neck.

You wore his jersey tonight, hoping it would bring the team good luck. You also happen to like how possessive he gets when he sees you in his clothes, especially wearing his name. It’s a little ridiculous, but you can’t lie and say you don’t love the attention.

Biting into your jugular, he tastes your rapidly beating heart before moving on, addicted to the sound of the moan that chokes its way out of your throat.

“I’m going to fuck you,” He breathes, massaging his hands into your waist as he pulls you away from the door. “And you’re going to love it, aren’t you? Because you’re such a good girl. My good girl.” His raspy voice leaves you holding back a whimper, and it’s hard to speak as he begins to sneak his hands under your jersey.

When you don’t respond because you’re too distracted by his hands, his damn hands, trailing up your ribs, he digs his fingers harshly into your skin. Your eyes snap open to find him almost glaring.

“Yes,” You think he wants to hear you say. “I’m yours.” You babble as his fingers let up, moving to cup your breasts over your bra as he pinches your nipples into hard points.

“That’s right,” He hums almost mockingly, hands now back to your waist as he pulls you after him to the path of his room. “No one else can make you feel like I do, yeah?”

This time he doesn’t expect a response as he pushes his door open, turning you around as you fall into his bed. Your head spins as the jersey you’re wearing rides up and Andrei quickly does the rest, slipping it off you with ease.

“Fuck,” You think he says, but you could care less as his bare hands are back on you, kneading the soft skin of your stomach and trailing back up the length of your torso. “No shirt underneath?”

“It was too hot outside,” You reply, breathless as you attempt to tug his suit and tie off, but that quickly proves to be more difficult. He tsks, thankfully deciding to aid you as he rids himself of his jacket. “You’re lucky that jersey is so thick.” He says, moreso to himself as he begins unbuttoning his slacks.

All that’s left is his undershirt and boxers, meanwhile you’re still left in your bra, jeans, and panties. Andrei must realize this too as he kicks his slacks off somewhere behind him. “Strip,” He commands, but you don’t need the reminder as you’re already one step ahead of him.

Your jeans and panties come off quickly, but it’s harder to remove your bra lying down. You eye the delicious specimen of a man above you, reaching out your hand for his own. “Help me?” You ask, biting your bottom lip before rolling onto your stomach.

Andrei mutters something behind you, but it’s clearly appraisal as the first thing his hands land on is your bare ass. He spends a few moments appreciating the view before his fingers trail up your back, unclipping your bra much quicker than you ever could have.

“You, kisa, are dangerous,” He teases, lowering himself to where his solid chest is pressing down on your back. He loves taking you from behind, tangling his hands in your hair while you’re left to his mercy.

He noses his way past your hair to reach your neck, lightly nipping the skin as you sigh, your head melting to the side so he can continue his ministrations.

“Andrei, please,” You hiss, the wetness between your thighs now too prominent to ignore. You wiggle your hips tantalizingly, hoping to catch his attention.

He grins into your neck, doesn’t respond as he presses a final kiss to your pulse point before pulling back, his right hand sweeping the rest of your hair to the side.

“You need me to touch you?” He asks, smoothing his left hand over your hip before slipping it to the inside of your thighs. His fingers find your clit, rubbing it ever so lightly to feel you flinch with sensitivity underneath him.

You tremble underneath him as he continues stroking you, and your hips jerk upward when two of his fingers slip past your walls and curl. He’s laughing as your ears ring, and already you’re so close to coming when his thumb rubs circles on your clit in time with the thrust of his hand.

Just like everything else about you, though, he knows; he knows and he pulls back before you even have the chance to swear because then the last layer of clothing between you is gone. His boxers are thrown somewhere behind him along with his undershirt, and now he wastes no time pulling your hips up, leaving your chest pressed into the bed.

So used to this familiar position, you look behind you in anticipation to find him stroking his cock, staring at your glistening pussy with barely contained arousal. You’re not sure what he’s waiting for, but then he’s sliding his free hand through your soaked lips to gather the wetness there, using it as lubricant.

“Shit,” He says, swearing more to himself before climbing atop you. It’s routine the way he grabs your hair, tangles it in his fingers while the other guides his swollen cock to your entrance. The bulbous head pushes into you with ease, finding no resistance as he sinks into you.

Andrei hisses, mutters something in Russian, then is lowering his head to press his lips to your ear. “Fuck, you’re tight. You just feel so good all the time, you know that, kisa?”

The only sound capable of coming out your mouth is a whimper as you bury your face into the sheets as his hips begin thrusting, hitting your sweet spot with bullseye accuracy each time.

The girth of him stretches you out deliciously, and it leaves your walls clenching and unclenching rhythmically in time with his movements. You mold to him like your body was made for him, like there’s no other way to exist without him taking you in such primal fashion.

Andrei’s head rests in the crook of your neck, murmuring indiscernible phrases while his hands trail up and down your body. His hips rut against your clit each time he thrusts forward, and if anything you get wetter at the thought of him fucking you so callously.

You feel like his most precious belonging sometimes, like an object. It can be disorienting when he talks to you like you’re a child, but when he fucks you it’s like that preciousness he views you with is amplified.

You flinch upward when his cock curves into you just right, and the way he coos into your ear to bring you back down only verifies that thought. He wants to take care of you, always—even if it demeans you.

Andrei suddenly rolls over onto his back, bringing you with him to where you’re the one on top with your back laying against his chest. He sits up, and now you’re in his lap, thighs spread to the side as he once again begins fucking into you.

Your mouth opens into a silent scream as your head rolls back onto his shoulder, the new angle forcing his cock into deeper lengths inside you, and it hurts but it hurts so good and why were you ever questioning how he treats you, again?

How has only one man ever been able to make you feel this good?

Euphoria floods your veins as his hands find purchase on your body, one taking your left tit and rolling your nipple between his fingers while the other sneaks down to the junction of your bodies and finds your clit, rubbing over it mercilessly.

When your stomach starts clenching and your lower spine tingles, Andrei is right back at your ear whispering encouragement. “That’s it, angel,” He praises. “That’s it. You want to come, yeah? Do it. I’ve got you.”

His name leaves your mouth as a breathless whine, and you struggle not to flinch away from his touch when it becomes too much but also not enough, and somehow he knows this and just holds you tighter.

When his cock hits you so deliciously good while his thumb swipes over your clit, you fall. You fall hard, the walls of your cunt seizing around him as ecstasy takes over your body. Sparks fly across your skin, stars filling the empty blackness behind your closed eyes and you think you’re sobbing Andrei’s name but you can’t be sure. The only thing you can be sure of is him; his cock inside you, his hands on your body, his voice in your ear, his teeth on your neck as he approaches his high.

Yours lasts for longer than normal because he doesn’t stop moving—if anything, he goes faster, because the sight and feeling of sending you into a spiral only triggers his own release.

By now you’re motionless, unable to even lift your head as it remains lying against his shoulder. Andrei’s thrusts are frenzied, more sloppy and less precise, until he’s throwing his own back with a long, pleasure-filled groan.

Eventually, he stills. His chest is rising and falling behind you rapidly, attempting to collect himself now that his mind is back in the present. You sigh, quietly yet happy, as his cock softens inside you but doesn’t move, his release slowly trickling down your conjoined bodies.

You suddenly remember that he didn’t lose a condom, but then you remind yourself that you’d stopped using condoms weeks before. You were already on birth control, and he assured you this was exclusive.

You were a fool to believe him.

Andrei soon moves, his hands taking to your hips as he gently lifts you off of him. “I know,” He says when you hiss with sensitivity. “I’ve got you, good girl…” He lays you on your back, and you don’t move from your position even as he leaves the room.

Your eyes soon flutter shut, and you curl to the side as the minutes go by with no sign of return. It’s not regret that fills your mind, no, but another emotion, something stronger than just satisfaction at getting such a pleasurable release.

You don’t dare to think of the world ‘love’, but maybe something similar to that is what you’re feeling?

It doesn’t help that just as you’re on the verge of falling asleep, Andrei comes back to your naked form while he’s now adorned in sweatpants. You merely hum as he sits on the edge of his bed next to you, one of his hands reaching out to trail up your arm. When he reaches your face he brushes away the hair stuck to your cheeks and forehead from cooling sweat, letting your skin breathe.

He says something, so quiet it’s impossible to hear over the sound of your thundering heart, and you don’t have the energy to ask as you finally succumb to exhaustion.

Andrei cleans you up after, dries the inside of your legs and slides one of his t-shirts over you. He tucks you under his sheets and pulls you into his arms, letting your hair tickle his cheeks.

The Eastern Conference Final arrives far quicker than any of you are prepared for, and games one and two against the Florida Panthers are full of anxious nail-biting and frustrated cursing when the puck hits the goal post.

Both games end in overtime losses, and the team has to play games three and four in enemy territory, down by two.

Andrei, understandably, isn’t taking it well. It's hard for the players on the ice, of course, but even harder when he has to sit at the sidelines, hidden in a booth at the top of the arena with you doing your best to comfort him.

“Why can’t they just fucking score?” You remember him hissing before the end of regulation in game two, not angry at his teammates but at the situation instead.

And himself, too, because he is the injured one. He is the one who tore his ACL making it so that he couldn’t play. It isn’t his fault, but it is at the same time and that’s what’s truly getting to him.

As the timer hit zero, he’d leaned back in his chair and grabbed your hand without thought, squeezing your fingers to the point of strangulation.

You let him, though, because at that point you’d let him do anything.

“I’m sorry.” You said, your eyes on him the entire time. It pained you to see him so miserable, and there was nothing you could do to make it better. “This isn’t your fault. It’s… Blame Bobrovsky, okay? He’s just too—”

You interrupted yourself, not wanting to say ‘good’ even if that’s true because you didn’t want to upset him with the implication that his teammates couldn’t be better.

Andrei, to give him credit, didn’t take offense. His eyes were on you the moment you started your ramble, and as you finally paused to gauge the look on his face you found amusement and unbridled affection in his gaze.

“Too good?” He finished your sentence, waiting for your meek nod of confirmation. Merely sighing, he only brought your intertwined fingers to his lips, pressing a kiss to the top of your hand. “You’re right, kisa. He is too good.”

You stay back in Raleigh while the team, including Andrei, takes flight to Sunrise, Florida. Most of the WAG’s stay back too, the majority already anticipating the result of this series.

Hours after the team’s flight, Maria calls you late on the eve of game three.

“Hey, Mare!” You answer, lowering the volume of whatever show is on the television to better hear her. “What’s up?”

“Hey, girl!” She chirps, and you can hear voices in the background so you assume she’s somewhere busy. “Just landed in Florida!”

“You flew to Florida?” You ask, choking slightly. “Since when?”

“Don’t you remember? I told you! The team needed extra people since we’re staying here for longer than a night.”

“Oh, shit, yeah,” Is all you say because you don’t, in fact, remember, and suddenly feel really guilty about it. You haven’t actually spoken to Maria face-to-face in weeks, having been caught up in everything Andrei-related.

You haven’t talked to lots of people you were close to before Andrei came into the picture, now that you think about it. It’s a problem you’re sure to reflect on when you’re done talking to your friend.

“...bunch of us are going out tonight since the game isn’t until later tomorrow night, including a lot of the team.”

Maria’s voice tunes back in, and you shake yourself out of your thoughts to catch-up. “Really?” You inquire, now suddenly interested. “Is Andrei going with them?”

You could ask him yourself, sure, but you don’t really talk about that stuff, what he does or what you do in your free time. It always felt invasive to ask because you weren’t quite sure if you even had the right to, considering the nature of your relationship.

You doubt he thinks about what you do when you’re not with him, anyway, so you always just assume you can live in the moment with him and have that be good enough.

“Dunno,” She replies. “Can’t you ask him yourself? You’re seeing the man, after all.” You can hear the smirk in her voice at the last sentence.

“Um,” You stall, because no, you can’t just ask. “He just got off the plane, I don’t want to bother him.”

“Mhm,” Maria hums, and you can’t tell if she’s suspicious or not by her tone alone. “True. I’ll just text you if anything interesting happens, okay? Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” You can’t help but laugh at her sudden hastiness, and soon enough she’s hanging up the phone with the claim that the team bus is there to take her to the hotel.

As your call with Maria is in the early afternoon, you have a while to wait before all night life in Florida begins, so any updates will take time to roll in. You know this, and yet you can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

Distracting yourself by shopping helps, as does meeting up with a few of the WAG’s for a late lunch. You’re able to put your anxiety in the back of your mind for the rest of the day, and as the sun sets you pull back up to Andrei’s house and let yourself in with the spare key given to you, mind at peace as you float around his living space in preparation for bed.

You almost considered his place your home now, rather than your actual apartment. You’ve been spending so much time here, with him and also alone as everything with him seems to be going so good… When you settle into his bed, wearing one of Andrei’s large t-shirts and boxers, you check your phone one last time for any updates.

There’s a few Instagram notifications, one or two emails from your university, only one message in the groupchat with the WAG’s, and a text from Andrei which is what you zero in on first.

Settled in the hotel now. Leg is hurting, so I’m going to bed early tonight. Text you tomorrow, okay?

There’s no silly emojis, no indication of any emotion in his text, and yet you read the message with a smile, insecurities officially gone. His teammates are going out tonight, not him, and you don’t have to worry about Maria texting you later because there would be nothing to update you on.

How could you have ever doubted him?

You fall asleep peacefully, unbeknownst to the fact that long after midnight, your phone begins blowing up with silent notifications from Maria. She does, in fact, send you updates of her night out, but not updates you’ll smile at when you wake up the next day.

Sunlight filtered through closed eyes is what has you slowly awakening to the world of consciousness, and you stretch your arms with a yawn before reaching for your phone first thing. It’s hot to the touch, and at first you attribute that to it being stuck under your pillow the entire night, but upon unlocking the screen you discover that that is not the case.

WTF did you and Andrei break up?????

He’s here with the rest of the guys and he’s highkey flirting with some randos???

I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were done w/ him!

You’re prettier than them btw. I snuck a few pics

Several more messages from Maria have taken over your inbox, those are just the first you see. It takes your brain a minute to catch-up, but when it finally does you’re sitting up with bated breath as you tap on one of the images she sent.

It’s definitely Andrei—you’d know his face anywhere. He is, in fact, surrounded by girls in the picture, his arm wrapped around the waist of a gorgeous blonde with a drink in his other hand, and it’s so reminiscent of the way he holds you at clubs that you know, you know immediately that this is what you meant to him all along.

The affectionate name-calling, gentle hand-holding and constant touching… You thought he looked back at you like you hung the moon, but now you’re realizing that maybe you were just projecting the reflection of your own starstruck eyes instead.

You sit up in bed, hand pressed to your forehead as a sudden headache rips through your brain. What the fuck are you supposed to do now? Remembering that you’re actually in this man’s house, in his clothes, too, has you jumping up like you’ve been burned, and you quickly exit the bedroom to collapse on the couch instead.

“Oh my god,” You whisper to yourself, in disbelief as you click through more of the images sent to you from last night. There’s no denying to yourself that he was with these women, all while supposedly having a significant other waiting for him at home.

There’s no one to witness the slow breakdown of your sanity, and you can’t even cry because you’re so in shock about what you’re seeing

Is this real? Are you real? Is this really happening?

It’s almost like a switch in your brain goes off, and very quickly you drop your phone. You take a deep breath, you bury your raging emotions, and you stand up from the couch to start your day.

You refuse to allow yourself to break down now. Not when you still haven’t spoken to him. At the very least you’ll wait until you have an explanation…

To confront him on your very strong feelings you’ve been doing your best to ignore until now, because they’re too real in the wake of this discovery to just vanish away like you’ve done before.

You need to know where you stand with him. Truly, because these pictures you can’t stop thinking about? It’s too much. You can’t pretend it doesn’t feel like thousands of little knives stabbing your heart repeatedly even if it all means nothing to him.

Everything goes back to normal. Everything is fine. You never saw those pictures, ignored Maria's continuing calls and acted as if your world wasn’t suddenly tilted on its axis.

Andrei doesn’t text you at all throughout the day, which can probably be attributed to preparation of game three, but all you can think about are the girls he might be texting.

Because he certainly isn’t texting you.

Game three results in a loss, a bad one, and it would pain you to see the reactions on their faces filtered through the television if you weren’t so numb.

He still doesn’t text you. Doesn’t call, either, and Maria eventually gives up on trying to reach you as game four approaches.

The impending doom of Andrei bares down on you like a vice, slowly strangling you in the screaming silence of his house you still remain in. Maybe this is something you should have seen coming because it isn’t the first time he’s gone radio silent, you just assumed he was busy—because that’s what he told you.

You’re starting to think that maybe you shouldn’t have listened.

You love him though, right? That’s why you believed him? That’s what you’re feeling right now, why it’s like you can barely breathe when you think of his smile or the way he’s betrayed you so?

The Panthers sweep the Hurricanes, a complete four-game victory that sends Andrei and the rest of the team licking their wounds all the way back to North Carolina. You don’t watch the fourth game with anyone but yourself and a bottle of wine while catching up on homework for one of your classes.

Becoming so close to Andrei meant you became close to the rest of his teammates too, to the point where you’d consider some of them your good friends, so seeing their faces broadcasted live after the final goal is devastating to see.

Not as devastating as the text you receive, though, in the midst of trying to figure out what to say to him the moment he steps foot inside his house.

I won’t be home tonight, heading straight out with some of the younger guys. I will see you tomorrow

Well. You can’t say you’re surprised. You’re willing to bet money he’s out sleeping with some random girl whose name he won’t remember the next day. Instead of letting the anxiety take over, anger takes its place instead.

And boy do you run with it because anger is so much better than feeling powerless. It simmers in your blood, a wildfire settling low in your stomach until you’re practically shaking while waiting for Andrei to walk through the front door the next day.

When he finally does, you’re so mad you’re numb. Your anger has turned you into a ghost, an attempt at protecting your fragile heart from more heartbreak likely to fall upon you the moment he tries to charm you back into his good graces.

Once he spots you sitting on the couch, he smiles in greeting. It’s soft, and you’d like to say affectionate, but you no longer can tell how deep his feelings run for you.

Clearly, not deep enough.

“Kisa,” He says. “How are you? I’m sorry I was out late.”

“It’s fine,” You respond tightly. Andrei doesn’t seem to notice, merely nods before walking past you to the kitchen. You follow him silently, trying to figure out how to phrase your next words.

You end up settling on a subtle approach. “I’m sorry about the games… I know it must’ve sucked having to watch.”

He scoffs immediately, mutters something you don’t catch but still doesn’t turn around to face you as he rummages through his fridge. “It definitely was not fun to sit there, no.” He replies.

“Is that why you didn’t come back last night? You were coping with the loss?” You’re hoping your strong reference to his late-night escapades will spark something in him, but alas you still seem to be wrong and all he does is cast you a furtive glance before going back to his business.

God, you were just going to have to wring this out of him, weren’t you?

“Andrei,” You start, taking a deep breath. He still doesn’t stir. “Andrei, I know.”

Finally, he stops. Pauses mid-motion of whatever he’s doing, and his shoulders seem to tense in preparation of your foreboding words.

“There’s other girls, right? It’s not just me?” Your voice is already wobbling, and you’re glad he’s still refusing to face you because your eyes are slowly filling with tears, the agony of these last few days catching up to you.

This is when Andrei finally turns around. He meets your eyes last after scanning up and down your body; the clothes you’re wearing that aren’t his, your nails digging into your hands, and finally the bright flush of your face as you struggle not to explode.

“What do you mean?” Is what he says, looking at you calculatingly.

“Don’t play dumb with me, ‘Drei,” You whisper, invisible wires constricting around your throat as you force yourself to continue speaking. “Maria told me. She saw you. And you lied to me.”

Andrei doesn’t speak. He just stares, fingers clenching and unclenching like he can’t decide if he should approach you or not. After what seems like hours of silent battle, he replies, starting out by saying your name like a warning. “She… Maria had no right to tell you that.”

“Because I’m not actually your girlfriend, right?” Your response is immediate, and it hurts him if the flinch on his face is anything to go by. “You don’t owe me anything. Not a title, responsibility. You never promised me any of that so sleeping with other girls is perfectly okay.”

Everything you’re saying is true but it’s all wrong the way you’re looking at each other. Tears are now openly streaming down your cheeks and Andrei hasn’t moved since the moment you opened your mouth.

“Nothing to say?” It’s defeated, your entire demeanor as your shoulders sag and you fight the urge to collapse. “Yeah. I—I wouldn’t know what to say either.”

“I’m sorry,” Andrei whispers, and he doesn’t fight you which makes it all the more devastating. Everything you’re saying is true and it’s still all so wrong but he isn’t fighting you and wow, you’re really about to lose him, aren’t you?

“I think the worst part of this for me is that I actually let myself fall in love with you.” It’s your last-ditch effort of getting something out of him, anything that proves this isn’t completely one-sided on your end.

Andrei looks gutted at that. But he steels his resolve, his eyes go cold and he clenches his jaw as you try, one last time, to reach him.

“Do you love me?”

He’s staring at the wall behind you. No words fall from the lips you’ve kissed a thousand times until they finally do, and this is when you come to the realization that you’re ruined. You won’t ever look at another man the same because Andrei will forever haunt you in everything that you are and what you do.

“No. I don’t.”

You don’t put up much of a fight after that. You wave your white flag and slip past him to grab the small bag you’d packed earlier in preparation.

Andrei doesn’t move from his spot in the kitchen once. His face is tight, eyes dark and anguished as you drop his spare key on the counter. You look at him one last time, will him to say something, anything, but he doesn’t.

He never does—so you leave and you don’t look back.

It hurts worse because there really wasn’t a fight. There was no screaming, breaking glass, hurling insults at each other; it was a quiet acceptance of the end of a relationship that had no chance of lasting.

That’s what gets you. Not just because it’s over, but because he doesn’t love you like you love him.

You can’t believe you let yourself fall for it.

When you finally make it back to your apartment it feels like walking into an alternate reality, especially after an agonizing drive back full of nothing but silence and your thoughts.

You’ve practically lived with Andrei the last few months so much that you’ve forgotten you had a life before him. Maria comes to your mind immediately at that thought, and you can’t think of anything else you need more right now than your best friend.

Her phone only rings twice before she picks up. She says your name warily, likely because she hasn’t heard a word from you in two days.

“Hey,” You whimper, and you hate that you can tell how broken you sound. “Um, you were right. About Andrei. I… Talked to him about it. We’re done.”

There’s silence on the other end for several moments. Then:

“Oh, babe, I’m so sorry. I’m coming over, and I’m bringing the fattest bottle of wine known to man, okay?”

You can’t help but laugh through your tears.

“Don’t respond, you can’t say no. I’ll see you in a few!”

And, well, you do nothing but let her hang up as you stare at your blank lock screen for a minute. Something possesses you to try and freshen up even though it’s just Maria, so you make your way to your bathroom.

Opening the door, your eyes land on your reflection in the mirror, your tear-stained eyes the same color red as the lipstick you wore the first time you met him. The same red of your heart, too, as you feel the shattering of it now more than ever.

It all goes back to him. Everything about you, your identity as ‘his girl’ reducing you to someone who doesn’t exist without him.

Fuck you, Andrei, you want to yell. Fuck you and fuck everything you put me through.

As you furiously rub your eyes, you realize you don’t know who you are anymore. You let yourself be molded into an unfamiliar version of yourself, into someone just for Andrei to want to keep around.

The tears start again, and you’re left sniffling in the suffocating silence of your bathroom. The only person who knew you, the you now, is gone.

And suddenly, you find yourself alone.

Well… Not totally alone. “Fuck him!” Maria shouts after she breaks into your apartment (she has your spare key) after you’d collapsed onto your couch and refused to open the door. “Seriously, fuck him. You’re way too good for him.”

“Weren’t you the one who convinced me to sleep with him in the first place?” Is your weak rebuttal, muffled and almost imperceptible as your head is burrowed in a pillow.

Your friend tsks, likely waving her arms around in that expressive way she does. “Yes, well. I never claimed to see the future. But now we know him for the piece of shit he is!”

Maria is your closest friend, yes, but you also know her to be someone who tells you what you want to hear. Right now, you’re feeling vengeful and angry, so she’s feeding into those emotions to make you feel better.

You know, in two months time or however long it takes you to process this, when you start missing him and tiptoe around the idea of calling him, she’ll support you then, too.

Which probably isn’t what you need, but, whatever. You’re just grateful you have someone on your side.

“I need…” You start, not quite sure how to phrase what you’re wanting. “I need to forget.”

“A one nightstand type of forget or get so drunk you pass out type of forget?”

You wrinkle your nose at the thought of sleeping with someone so soon. As much as you hate it, you don’t think you’ll ever stop craving Andrei’s body.

No man ever could make you feel that good…

“Get drunk,” You say, quirking a small smile at the whoop she lets out. “I can’t fuck someone right now. At least not yet.”

“Yeah,” The blonde agrees, sighing almost wistfully. “I’d feel the same if I knew what his dick felt like.”

“Maria!” You shriek, throwing a spare pillow as hard as you can her way. It misses, but does the job of lightening the mood and keeps you giggling the rest of the night.

She does her job in making you forget, though. Makes you put on one of your shortest dresses and gets you drink after drink until you’re hunched over a toilet in the back of some bar gagging your stomach out.

You wake up the next day with the worst hangover ever, but Maria is fairing the same and somehow you consider it worth it. Maybe you can live your life again without him.

You’ve done it before, right?

And really, it’s ridiculous when you let yourself think about how you’d only been seeing the man for five months and he completely managed to send your world careening in that timespan. So, you don’t let yourself think about it. Instead, you live.

For yourself, for your friends, for your heart that won’t ever be full but feels a little bit better every time you wake up each day without Andrei next to you.

You graduate university with your bachelor’s and get a job that’s even better than your last, and you make a really good group of friends at said-job without Maria’s help (though she’ll always be your best). The summer passes by with melancholy laughter and gentle healing, and while your first love always remains in the back of your mind, you think about him less.

So much less that you lose track of time, not even realizing that October of twenty twenty-three is here and the NHL season is starting back up. You haven’t spoken to any of the WAG’s since you broke it off with Andrei, assuming you would no longer be welcome in the ‘clique’ and preferring to separate yourself from a group associated with someone who brought you so much pain, so there haven’t been any reminders about the new season from them.

The memories of him are fleeting. They’ll come to you at random times, and now that you’ve lived in the past yet again, you can forget about the end where Andrei is a distant thought but every time his name is brought up it squeezes your heart so much you can’t breathe.

You’re doing better. Truly, you are. You’d stopped crying over him long ago, and you might have gone to class with swollen eyes and showed up to work despondent, but you’re working through it in your own way. Healing isn’t linear but you’re making progress slowly but surely.

One day, you wake up with a sudden determination to officially ‘get back out there’, per Maria’s words. There’s nothing spectacular about this day; it’s only mid-November, the weather in that awkward stage of autumn morphing into winter.

Maybe it’s because the night before you’d succumbed to the urge to search up the Hurricanes’ schedule, curious to when they’d be home and not.

It’s only a coincidence that they have a home game when you call your friends from work, asking if they’d like to go out after everyone gets off. It’s also a coincidence when you meet someone at said-bar you attend, and it’s absolutely insane how if you squint he kind of looks like Andrei.

Oh, but he’s so, so sweet… His name is Jack and he buys you and your friends drinks, keeps a respectful distance yet never strays far when you’re wrapped into another conversation. He asks for your number at the end of the night and you give it to him without hesitation, taking note of the way he creates your contact in his phone himself.

“You like cats?” He asks as he’s still typing away, and your breath catches in your throat because it’s a question that makes you think of the first night you met him. When you don’t respond, he gestures towards your keychain attached to the strap of your handbag.

“You have little kittens on your keychain. I think that’s what I’ll add to your name, yeah?” Jack laughs a little shyly, and it’s cute but you keep replaying kisa in your mind over and over in a Russian accent you never could quite imitate.

“Yeah, I do like cats,” You say, flushing at the sudden amusement in his eyes. “I like them a lot.”

Jack doesn’t waste any time texting you the next day, and the normalcy of it freaks you out a little. Where’s the anxiety? The stomach-dropping nerves that come with talking to someone new? The constant wondering if they like you or not?

It’s so safe and secure that it hurts, because it was never like that before.

Everyone in your life is so supportive, though, but that only makes it worse because they can see how good this man is for you, but why can’t you? You feel like pulling your hair out when he texts you good morning and goodnight and sick to your stomach when he shows up during your lunch break with flowers.

However, there’s no one is more enthusiastic about Jack's new presence in your life than Maria.

“He’s a dream guy, honestly,” She swoons, kicking her feet back on her ottoman. “You’re so lucky. I would kill for a guy I met at a bar to be so smitten with me he shows up to my job with flowers.”

You hum in agreement, unable to come up with something to say. “He… Yeah, it’s nice, I guess.”

The blonde eyes you from where you’re curled up on her couch, deliberately avoiding her stare as you mindlessly watch whatever is on the TV. “You guess? He’s perfect!”

“On paper,” You retort, huffing slightly in frustration at yourself because why can’t you see what everyone else sees? “I don’t really know him.”

“Yet. You don’t really know him yet.” She helpfully points out. “Why don’t you want to give him a chance?”

“I… I do. I am giving him a chance. Maybe I’m just not feeling it.”

“He’s not Andrei, babe.”

You fight the powerful urge to scoff. I know, you want to scream. I know. That’s the problem.

Jack is too perfect for you. You want the ups and downs, the electrifying chemistry, the undeniable connection you’ve felt with no one else before. You crave the feeling of those past five months, of being with someone who lit you up to your very core.

It’s been almost eight months and you still can’t get him out of your head.

You give Jack a rightful chance, though, like everyone in your life is begging you to. You can’t bring yourself to end it because there really is nothing wrong, it’s a perfect getting-to-know-you stage which checks off all the boxes. It’s just that you don’t want normal because normal is boring.

You want chaos. And Andrei is chaos personified.

Unbeknownst to you, Maria is still very good friends with a lot of the WAG’s and talks about you when they ask. They miss you, it turns out, but your friend never tells you this in fear of sending you into a depressive spiral that tends to happen when they’re brought up. They’re ecstatic to hear that your life seems to be going so well after the breakup, especially after seeing Andrei’s reaction to it all.

This is something Maria doesn’t tell you, either. She’s such a good friend, protecting your heart like that. Andrei did not come out of his house after you ended it the same person; he was a little darker, a little angrier, frustrated in a way that suggested nothing could be done to fix it.

It doesn’t help that he couldn’t take it out by playing hockey, because he wasn’t cleared to play until the end of October, a month into the regular season.

He never admits his sour mood is partly to blame you for. Not that it’s your fault—he’s the one who fucked up, not you.

Never you.

Maria knows all of this and still gives him the cold shoulder for his treatment of you. None of the girls were very happy after finding out while his teammates just gave him awkward pats on the back. It doesn’t stop him from finding out about you, though, and what you’re up to.

The WAG’s talk. They’re gossip machines, and while normally he hates them for it because he always has to watch what he says around them, this time he’s thankful because they tell their husbands and boyfriends everything.

He’s at Martin and his girlfriend, Nykki’s, apartment watching their cavapoo, Gigi, when he finds out you’re seeing someone new. They’re heatedly talking about something when they walk in and don’t see him on the floor cuddling Gigi, so he doesn’t interrupt.

“I mean, I’m not surprised, but wow. It certainly took her a while to move on, didn’t it?”

He hears a smack, assumes Nykki has hit him on the arm like she typically does when he pisses her off. “She loved him, of course it took time!”

“Ow!” He hisses, though it’s clearly in jest. “Well, yeah, but like… It’s been months. And it’s not like she’s in contact with any of us anymore to remind her of him.” Andrei notes the sourness in his teammate’s voice, feels his heart drop because he thinks he knows who they’re talking about, now.

“Still,” Nykki replies. “I was so sad after my first heartbreak. They take a while to heal from, especially when it’s not a clean ending. It’s no secret how Andrei treated her.” She’s frowning when she continues. “I wish I could give her a hug, but I get it. I wouldn’t want to see any of us, either.”

Martin sighs. “I get it, too. I sure do miss the wine she’d bring though. She had the best fucking taste, ever.”

“Of course you only miss her for her alcohol.”

Andrei decides to clear his throat at this moment. When he does so, Martin and Nykki whip their heads towards him on the floor, surprise and guilt decorating their faces when they see him holding Gigi rather dejectedly.

He starts by saying your name, even surprises himself when it comes out biting and, dare he say it… Jealous? “She’s seeing someone?”

Martin and Nykki share a glance. Gigi chooses this as the time to leap up from his lap and run towards her parents where Martin happily picks her up. “I’m going to go take her out. Thanks for watching, ‘Drei!” He quickly flees the apartment, and Nykki says something under her breath as she glares after him.

They both know Andrei isn’t letting this go.

“Do you remember Maria, her friend? Works in the Hurricanes’ marketing department?” She eventually says, joining him on the floor.

“The blonde one? Yes,” He replies, and even though there are many blondes working for the team he knows exactly who she’s talking about. She’s your best friend, after all, and he knows everything about you.

Like how he knows you will never get over him. Conceited? Yes, but he had (has) you wrapped around his finger.

“Well, she talks to a lot of us still, despite everything that happened. And she tells us things.” Nykki pauses, almost like she’s scared to go on.

“Things like?” Andrei inquires. “How she is doing? Who she is doing?”

She glares at him then, eyes narrowing into slits. “Not that you really have a right to know, but yes.”

His fingers dig into his palms and his jaw cramps with how much he’s trying to keep from exploding.

“So, she’s seeing some guy now?” He scoffs like the very idea is incredulous. As if whatever pathetic excuse of a man you’re talking to could ever compare to him.

“She has a right to move on, Andrei. You should too. You ruined her.”

That fact remains true, but he still has no desire to ever let you go as he deliberately ignores her advice, well-meaning as it is.

How ruined could you really be if you’re already with somebody else?

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to run into you because you avoid him like the plague. You know everywhere he and his teammates frequent so you stopped showing up long ago, and he’s pretty sure you keep a several hundred-foot radius between you and PNC Arena at all times. He doesn’t blame you, but it pisses him off to know he can’t easily find you.

Christmas passes, you spend it with Jack and Andrei spends it with his Russian teammates. The New Year arrives just as quickly, and as he locks lips with some random girl at the party he’s at he thinks of you. Wonders who you’re with, if you’re kissing that guy Nykki told him about.

You actually flew back home to spend it with your parents, giving Jack some weak excuse about how you weren’t able to see them over the holidays.

North Carolina winter is in full force as February of twenty twenty-four rolls around, and your life remains inexplicably boring while Andrei’s picks up. The Hurricanes are finally having a redemption arc after their awful first-half of the season, and thus are heading out to celebrate far more often than normal.

They’re more daring in where they choose to go, too, wanting to branch out of their norms, because why not?

This is really unfortunate for you. Horrifying, actually, because you’re out with your friends, Jack, and his friends too when the team comes strolling in. Eyes instantly shoot their way, aweing at the miniature celebrities in their own right for finally bringing a good professional sports team to NC.

The moment Andrei steps foot in the establishment you know. Your skin catches fire, your ears ring, and your heart thunders inside your chest because only man can set off your senses so powerfully.

You look away from Jack - who thankfully doesn’t notice, he’s sucked into a conversation with one of his friends - and find Andrei approaching the bar with Martin and Seth. He hasn’t noticed you yet and you try to keep that from happening as you sink down into your seat, flashing your friends an exaggerated smile when they eye you curiously.

You’re unable to hide for long, though, when a song bursts from the speakers and sends everyone into an excited frenzy, your group included as they crowd the dance.

Luckily you’re able to escape that particular rally and wave Jack off when he asks you if you’re okay. “I’m fine,” You shout over the bass rattling your eardrums. “Just letting my drink settle a bit.”

He doesn’t question you, merely nods and smiles before disappearing somewhere with his friends. Now, you’re alone, and you can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing because now you have a perfect view of Andrei and his teammates leaning against the bar, looking far too good as they do so.

You can’t keep your eyes off him. You never could, especially can’t now as you soak up every little change your eyes can see. He has a scruff now, a sexy five o’clock shadow that you know firsthand how it feels between your thighs. His hair is a little longer, too—you wonder if it’s still as soft as you remember.

Jack suddenly appears from a break in the crowd and oh, yeah, fuck you can’t be thinking about your ex like this, can you? No, you aren’t officially with Jack, but it’s still wrong. He likes you so much, you know this, and you… Don’t hate him?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, you bemoan to yourself, torn between the angel on your left and the devil on your right that don’t give you the chance to decide because you feel eyes baring into your skull, begging you to notice them. Your entire being freezes, stuck in between some weird limbo as you lock eyes with Andrei for the first time in months.

There’s no one else but you and him as neither one of you refuses to break first, and you only lose eye contact when a group of people walks between you. When they’re gone and you’re able to freely look again, you realize he’s gone from his spot at the bar. All his teammates are still there, and they’ve now spotted you too.

Would it be wrong to call an uber and just tell Jack you felt sick?

Your name is suddenly being whispered into your ear, and you would have flinched if the sound of his voice didn’t have you relaxing back into your seat. You refuse to look up at first, because if you look at him so close to you again you’ll fold.

“Andrei,” You greet, quietly. “How are you?” You still aren’t looking at him, choosing to swirl around the drink in your hand instead.

“I’m good,” He replies, so close you can feel the heat of his body seeping into your skin. You lean into it almost subconsciously until he’s sliding into the booth next to you, pressing the two of you together. “How are you, my kisa?”

“You don’t get to call me that anymore.” You retort, finally meeting his eyes to cast him a withering glare.

“No?” Andrei reaches a hand up to brush some stray hairs from your face. So delicate his touch, he trails his hand down your cheek, your neck, and down your waist until landing on your thigh. You don’t stop him, either.

“That’s funny. I could have sworn that you’re mine.”

“I’m not,” You squirm under his touch, unable to push him away. “I haven’t been in months. Wasn’t ever ‘yours’ to begin with. You made sure of that.”

Andrei doesn’t appreciate the call out. The way his face twists is mean and you know whatever he’s going to say will hurt. “Right,” He scoffs, is snide with the way he tones it. “But you’re his?”

He gestures towards Jack, who thankfully is enraptured in a tense game of pool on the other side of the room. You don’t question how he already knows that’s who you’re with.

“I’m not anyone’s, Andrei.”

“Yes you are. You might have thought that because we haven’t seen each other we are just over?” He leans into you, doesn’t let you break eye contact as he gets so close your noses touch. “No. I bet me being so close to you right now has you soaked, and you want to know how I know that?”

Your throat is tight as you swallow. You can’t look away as you move to shake your head, but strange, because it comes out as a nod instead.

“You’re not ‘over me’, malyshka. You’ll never be over me. You love me.”

His grin is feral, his words biting as they cut through you at such a vulnerable level it has you flinching back from his touch immediately.

“Oh, fuck you, Andrei,” You hiss, an angry sheen of tears starting to gloss over your eyes. “Fuck you. I don’t love you anymore—especially not now.”

You move to slip around him but his arm shoots out and stops you in your tracks, leaving you frozen as he stands to tower over you.

“Careful,” He murmurs. “Your boy over there might think something’s wrong. Maybe I should introduce myself, make sure he knows I would never dare hurt you.”

“You don’t have to touch me to hurt me. You did that plenty without having to lift a finger.” You retort. “Now, get out of my way. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“But what if I want to talk to you?” You really hate the height difference between the two of you right now because it takes no effort at all for him to slide a muscular arm around your waist and keep you glued to his side. “Maybe I have missed you.”

“I sincerely doubt that,” You mutter, but he ignores you as he begins to lead you away from the booth you were in before. “My friends will wonder where I am if I’m not at the booth when they get back.”

“Not worried about your boy?” He mocks, noting the way you don’t mention Jack at all. “They won’t have enough time to notice.”

You narrow your eyes at his insinuating words as he stops at the bar, waving down the bartender who comes immediately. “His name is Jack.” You mutter, thinking he can’t hear you. He continues talking, ignoring you, and you’re unable to hear him over the noise so you don’t bother trying to understand what he’s asking for.

Soon enough there’s a drink sliding across the bar counter and Andrei pushes it in front of you. You eye the glass, making note of the fact that the liquid is red. “Vodka cranberry,” He confirms what you’re already thinking.

You flash back to the night you first met and suddenly you want nothing to do with the drink in front of you. “No thanks, I don’t want it.” You say, trying to step away.

You don’t get far, though, because he’s grabbing your wrist and tugging you rather harshly back to him. “Drink it,” He demands, watches your eyes and the way they dart from his face and back to the glass nervously. He sighs, then, like he’s realized something and lets go of your wrist only to land back on your hip. “It’s… Nothing is wrong with it. I didn’t touch it.”

He thinks you’re worried about being drugged? You almost laugh but manage to hold it back, because of course he doesn’t remember that this is the first drink he ever got you.

Your heart beats a little faster as you concede, finally picking up the drink and taking a tiny sip. He waits for your reaction like he’s the one who made it. “It’s good,” You finally say, licking the sweetness from your lips.

Andrei watches you, your eyes, your lips, everything about as time seems to stop and it’s just you and him, like it’s supposed to be.

You haven’t changed all that much, and you can tell he likes that. Your hair is a little shorter, you’re perhaps a little thinner now that you’re not on a college student diet, but you’re still you.

Andrei hasn’t changed either. You’re the same yet so different, and it’s incredibly difficult resisting the temptation to fall back into old habits.

“I’ve missed you,” He admits quietly, and you think it’s sincere this time. You wouldn’t have heard if you weren’t standing so close together.

Your heart thunders in your chest. You might be sweating out of nerves, or maybe it’s just the club. Your hands itch to touch him, and with more alcohol in you thanks to the cranberry you don’t stop Andrei as he succumbs to his urges first and uses one, large hand to cup your cheek.

You shudder as he caresses the skin, his thumb landing on your bottom lip and stroking it lightly. “Andrei,” You breathe, pupils blown wide. “You can’t—we can’t…”

He tilts his head, reminiscent of a dog. “Why not? You are not single?” He has you. He knows you know he does. You aren’t nearly as committed to Jack as much as you’d like yourself to be.

“I can’t do that to him,” You try weakly, already feeling your will bending to the persuasiveness of his touch.

His head lowers, hand remaining on your cheek as he brushes your lips together. You crave it, you realize, and move to fully push your mouths together but he’s pulling back before you get the chance.

“Go to the bathroom.” He says. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Will you?” You ask, the double-meaning clear as you stare at each other, neither willing to break.

Andrei’s face is unreadable. You can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing as his hands land on your hips and he turns you around in the direction of the restrooms. “Go,” He taps your ass, nudging you forward. “I’ll be there.”

You give in this time. You’re aware of the astronomically bad decision you’re making as you cut the line, faking a sick stomach and whispering ‘sorry’ over and over again in your head as the nice ladies let you through.

When you close the door you immediately make your way to the mirror. Your reflection stares back at you, and with mussed hair and smudged lipstick you should be feeling ashamed.

All you feel is anticipation, though. For Andrei’s hands on your body, for his mouth to kiss all the spots he’s missed.

Several minutes go by and the knocks on the bathroom door become more frequent. You think he’s bailed on you - it certainly wouldn’t be the first time - but then you hear his voice outside.

“Da, yes, she’s in there,” A pause. “She’s my girlfriend, she needs me.”

Your breath catches in your throat, turning to face the door as he knocks and can hear his voice more clearly.

Yes, you do need him.

“Kisa,” He says, slightly muffled but you feel the effect he has on you is all the same. “I’m here. Let me in?” He’s almost begging, and you quickly unlock the door as he pushes through.

His smile is mischievous as he closes the door behind him. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” He purposefully raises his voice, shows faux concern and plays it up in case anyone is listening outside.

“You’re so dramatic,” You say, pulling him down to you by the collar of his shirt. Now that you’re alone you don’t bother pretending you don’t want him as much as you do. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

“Yes ma’am,” Andrei relents immediately, closing the distance between the two of you. Both his hands come up to the sides of your head to keep you in place, tilting you in whatever way he likes. His lips are just as soft as you remember, and your bodies move together like they were never apart.

He’s demanding as he begins pushing you back, crowding you against the tiny bathroom wall. His words from outside come back to you suddenly, and you break the kiss to catch a breath as his lips begin a trail across your cheeks. “Girlfriend?”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “I had to get them to let me through somehow.” It’s not what you want to hear but you lose the urge to fight him on it as he reaches your neck and begins sucking little hickeys onto the sensitive skin. Your head falls back with a sigh, uncaring of your hair catching whatever germs might lie on the wall.

You let Andrei do what he wants to your neck for a few moments, then when the urge to taste his lips comes again you grab the back of his hair and pull him up to you. He goes willingly, and you moan into his mouth as he continues to push back against you so hard you can feel his dick through his jeans.

He pulls back much too soon for your taste, and you try to follow but suddenly one of the hands holding your head comes down to wrap around your throat, restricting your breath as he pushes you back. You go to speak, but his other hand is leaving your face to unbutton his jeans one-handed.

You watch, eyes heavy-lidded. “‘Drei?” The weight on your neck is comfortable, so you don’t bother moving as he shoves the rest of his jeans along with his boxers down his thick thighs.

“You want to talk to other guys?” He starts with a bite. “Then you can remember the taste of my cock in your mouth while you do it.”

Your blood pressure skyrockets as the hand on your throat leaves to pull your hair back out of your face, grasps it like a rope, and pushes you down to your knees.

You’re at eye-level with his cock as it bobs in front of you, angry and swollen with beads of pre-cum leaking from the tip. He stares down at you expectantly, has to hold back a groan at your wide-eyed gaze looking so innocent.

As your lips wrap around his tip he’s reminded of the fact that no, you are not innocent. He made you that way. Fucked you like no man ever could. Ruined you for everyone but him. His feelings for you are complicated, but he does understand one thing…

Andrei doesn’t want you, not really. But he hates to think about you with somebody else.

Your tongue is masterful in its work as it swirls around his head, and once you get comfortable you begin going down. His head falls back and this time he doesn’t hold back his noises as your warm, wet mouth envelopes him.

“Missed this mouth,” He grunts as you suck. “Like it much better when you can’t speak.”

It’s insulting and degrading, yet it doesn’t fail to turn you on as you squirm and rub your thighs together in hopes it’ll give you the friction you need.

His hand in your hair soon starts pulling, sliding your mouth forward and back in increasing motions as he gets closer. He’s unabashedly groaning now, and you can see his abs clench when you suck a certain way.

Suddenly, you have the urge to have him fall apart before you. Maybe it’s revenge, wanting to see him lose control for you like you’ve done for him so many times; you tilt your head, using your tongue to stroke the sensitive underside of his cock and that has him jerking into you.

“Fuck,” He hisses. “Good girl. Just like that.” The praise goes directly to your clit, and you whimper as it throbs with no relief.

Despite being apart for almost a year, you still know what every twitch of his body means. You know he’s close because the hand in your hair is gripping you tighter, you can feel the steadily increasing tempo of his heartbeat through his pulsing cock, and his thighs are ever so slightly trembling underneath your hands.

You want him to come in your mouth. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted anything more; your efforts increase and you dig your nails into his skin to hear him hiss and as his thrusts pick up he starts hitting the back of your throat.

Internally thanking your lacking gag reflex, you don’t flinch as he picks up speed, now blatantly using your mouth for his own pleasure with little regard for your comfort. “Shit, baby,” He blurts, desperate. “I’m gonna cum.” You hum in response, the vibrations of the sound finally throwing him over the edge.

Andrei throws his head back for a final time, one long groan emulating from his unfairly sculpted chest as his cum hits the back of your throat. You’ve always loved the taste of him and this time is no different as you suck him deeper, not wanting to waste a drop.

He takes a few moments to collect himself and in that timeframe your ears slowly stop ringing and you come back to reality, finding that your knees ache from being pressed into the floor and there are loud voices coming from outside the bathroom door.

As you move to stand, he too seems to remember where you’re at and uses both arms to pull you the rest of the way until you’re back to standing. You swipe your hair out of your face as his thumb comes to your lip, wiping away a stray drop of his release.

Despite the post-orgasmic clarity, he looks at you with softness and something else swimming in his dark eyes. “You’re still good at that,” He states. “Been sucking anyone else off?” His words are quiet but every bit threatening as you note the possessiveness in his tone.

“No,” You gasp as his thumb pushes its way into your mouth. “Just you. Only you,”

“That’s right,” He says. “Just me. Only me.” Then he’s spinning you around, fingers remaining pressed into your mouth while the other trails up your spine until he’s gripping the back of your neck. “Hear them outside?” He asks.

The ‘them’ he’s referring to, you realize, are the voices outside the bathroom. They’re much louder now, a few knocks mixed in, and you wonder with slight panic how a manager hasn’t come to unlock the door yet.

“They sound very angry, don’t they?” That same hand on the back of your neck strokes your skin, slowly working its way down to your waistband. “So we better make it quick. Hands on the wall, kisa,”

You know the moment he pulls down your pants he’ll find you to be unabashedly soaking. Despite claiming to be in a hurry, he takes his time working open the button of your jeans, grazing the skin above your panties before ever so slowly sliding them down your legs.

“Andrei,” You hiss, impatient. “Hurry up!” As the hand in your mouth retreats, you realize you’re both needy and nervous, an overwhelming combination.

He only laughs. “Someone is needy,” He mocks, holding your hips in place when you try wiggling against him. “Patience.” Leaning into your ear he murmurs this, staying this way as he fully slides your jeans past your knees.

Andrei sneaks his hand in between your thighs, something resembling a growl rumbling from his chest when his fingers find your dripping folds, feeling how you throb for him. “Missed this pussy even more,” He breathes, lubricating his fingers with your slick before slowly circling your clit. Your arms shake from where they hold you up and it’s a battle to keep yourself from collapsing.

“You are just made for me, aren’t you?”

You’re so wet you practically suck him in as he guides his dick to your entrance, and he wastes no preamble as he pushes in. If he thought your mouth was heaven after so much time apart, the feeling of your pussy squeezing him in so deep doesn’t even compare. His hands are digging into your hips as he ruts into you fully with one thrust, panting as your warmth contracts around him.

“Still so fucking tight,” He marvels like he can’t believe it, like it’s a dream you feel even better than when he replays the memories of you on repeat. “You been waiting for me?” He’s not expecting a response as his rhythm picks up, finding a familiar pace for the both of you that has him swearing under his breath and you struggling not to shout your pleasure to the rooftops.

“God,” You cry out when the head of his cock directly hits your g-spot, your hips jerking up so hard you would have fallen if it weren’t for Andrei holding you up. “Fuck, Andrei, fuck, I’m gonna—”

Andrei laughs, a sound that would have been more menacing if he also wasn’t gasping for air. “Already?” He mocks. “I barely touched you, baby,”

You don’t have to touch me, it’s on the tip of your tongue waiting to be blurted out. You don’t have to touch me for me to be on my knees for you. The words are ready, but instead all that comes out is a moan and maybe that’s for the best because he probably wouldn’t respond as well as he does in your dreams.

He’s unaware of your internal dilemma as he leans over you, pressing his clothed chest to your back. “Gotta be fast,” He reminds you, as if you’d forgotten. “You ready?”

“No, I—I can’t,” Because you don’t want this to be over. You don’t want to cum because he’ll follow you right after and then when clarity hits he’ll leave you again and you’ll be back to square one.

“Yes, you can” He croons. “I’ve got you. Not gonna let anything happen to you, I’m right here.” You want to sob as one of his hands leaves your hip and finds the junction of your bodies, gentle fingers prodding your pussy spread-wide around him until he finds your clit and rubs.

Your body is trembling and you can’t tell if you’re trying to move towards him or away, but it doesn’t matter anyways because he has you trapped between the wall and his body and the unrelenting pace of his hips slamming into you.

You have a sudden urge to look him in the eyes before you come undone by his cock and his fingers, so you crane your head to the side and watch him watch you. His hair is damp from sweat at the corners of his hairline, his lips slightly open as he pants and you think you spot him lick his lips when he catches you staring. You go to say something but he swoops down, catching your mouth with his own and promptly shuts you up.

Andrei doesn’t relent in his motions despite the uncomfortable position, not letting you break from his lips by removing his hand at your hip and gripping your face to keep you right here. He owns you, at this point, mind, body, and soul as your lungs beg for breath while your clit throbs beneath his fingers and oh, oh, there it is and you’re gone—

You feel the rough pads of his fingers bullying your clit but you don’t really focus on it until now, how the calloused ridges carelessly sweep over you with no semblance of relief and only when you body abruptly freezes does he part from you, but only slightly, leaving a hair’s width of space between your lips. “Beautiful,” He says, under his breath so quietly you don’t hear him as your bones catch fire and your brain short-circuits.

Heat sears you from the inside-out and you do nothing but endure as Andrei rocks you through it. There’s tears of ecstasy streaming down your face, you’re sure of it now, and you think he’s wiping them from your cheeks but you can’t open your eyes enough to check.

It takes a few minutes, but once your heart stops racing you can hear your favorite voice swearing behind you and only then do you comprehend him still moving inside you, but before you can whine at the sensitivity he’s stilling with a long, drawn-out groan.

You don’t dare speak first, nor are you the first to move. The air around you is stagnant with tension as you rest your head on your arms, breathing deeply to catch your breath. What does this mean? You’re spiraling already and it’s only been minutes since your desperate fuck in this bathroom.

Eventually, Andrei moves first. He slides his softened dick from you with a hiss and you feel his cum trickling out without him there to keep it plugged in. Wrinkling your nose at the feeling of having to walk around with wet inner thighs now, you slowly stand up as his hands fall from your body. You slide your panties and jeans back up the rest of your legs, ignoring the uncomfortable sensitivity of being covered once again.

Neither of you speaks a word. You want to cry suddenly, and this time not from pleasure. “What did we just do?” You manage to choke out, your voice so hoarse you have to clear it. He’s clearly planning on just leaving without a word but you’re not going to let him.

You stare at him expectantly. He’s turned around so all you have in your view is his slide profile, clearly struggling with what to say as his jaw clenches tightly.

“Nothing,” He finally says, and he might as well just fucking stab you in the back. “We did nothing. You’re going to go back out there and pretend nothing happened because it didn’t.”

Oh, he makes you so angry. You can’t believe you’d forgotten that. “You’re serious?” You know he is but you don’t want to believe it.

Andrei meets your glassy eyes and you wish you could read him like he so easily can read you. He looks as conflicted as the day you walked out of his house for the last time, like he has so many words to say but refuses to let them fall from his lips. Just like then, you know this rendezvous means more to him than just a meaningless hookup.

If only he’d admit it��

He exhales a shaky breath as another loud knock disturbs you. “We need to go.” He dodges your question just like he dodges every issue in his life, especially in regards to you. “Come on, kisa.”

“You can’t just call me that, after—after this,” You hiss as he grabs your arm and pulls you towards the door. You panic on the inside as he unlocks it because once you leave this dirty sanctuary you know your problems will only get worse.

Strange, how Andrei manages to make everything worse despite making you feel so good.

As if your emotions don’t matter to him (they really don’t), he flashes you a grin as he drags you behind him, past the angry horde of people who, now that you think about it, definitely know you were fucking. “I know you like it.” Spoken so simply, so plain, you hate that he’s right.

You’ll always like it. Always love him. For as long as you’re hung up over him it will always come back to bite you in the ass and he knows this too.

It’s why, without shame, his arm is curled possessively around your waist as he leads you through the crowd of people. Your friends, Jack, don’t even cross your mind as he does so.

“Go find your friends,” He soon leans down to whisper in your ear. “Then find Jack. Tell him you felt sick and had to use the bathroom.”

“What if I don’t want to?” You snap, purposefully antagonizing him.

Andrei merely raises a brow at you. “You can always stay with me, with my cum dripping down your legs, and explain to everyone how you missed me so much you couldn’t stay away.”

You want to hit him. You almost do, but he continues before you actually go through with it.

“I wonder what Jack would say?” Of course he was listening to you earlier. He ignored you then, of course, but he listened.

And yeah, okay, you get it. Not a good idea to let everyone you know see you with him. He doesn’t want his friends to see him with you, either.

“Trying to get rid of me?” You ask, intending to sound sarcastic but it comes off as more insecure than you wanted it to.

You know he is, but you can’t help but ask for confirmation. Maybe it would help you move on to hear how little he actually cares for you.

“I don’t think I could get rid of you if I tried,” He replies. You can’t tell if he’s serious or not. “You’ll never get rid of me though.”

He’s right, again. You hate so much that he is because you both know you’ll be crawling back the moment he calls.

You want to cry again as his arm leaves your waist, the absence of his heat leaving you shivering.

Andrei looks at you for a long time, just appraising. He tilts his head like he doesn’t know what to think, but then he spots something behind you and starts backing up.

“I will see you again someday, kisa.” He winks at you, and then he’s gone.

Someone behind you taps your shoulder while speaking into your ear, a voice you recognize as one of the girls you came with. You should probably focus, banish Andrei from your mind, but you don’t.

You strain your neck, watching for him through the crowd. He’s back at the bar with his friends, his teammates you once knew.

He’s laughing at something one of them said. Like he wasn’t just with you, fucking you against the bathroom walls.

“Are you okay?” Your friend behind you asks, the one thing from her you do catch.

“Yeah,” You say, swallowing despite the dryness in your throat. Andrei is talking to more people now, girls that have approached him, you notice. “I’m fine.”

He looks gorgeous under the lights. You catch his brilliant smile, the glimmer of his eyes, and those lips you can never get enough of. You soon lose sight of him amidst the throng of people, but his fleeting allure forever lingers...

Like a steadfast reminder, a haunting echo of what can never be.

A/N: Well, that was fun. I hurt my own feelings writing this but it was worth it. I hope you guys enjoyed! Please remember to reblog & comment!!

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#andrei svechnikov #andrei svechnikov imagine #andrei svechnikov fic #andrei svechnikov fanfiction #andrei svechnikov x reader #andrei svechnikov imagines #carolina hurricanes #carolina hurricanes imagine #carolina hurricanes imagines #carolina hurricanes fic #carolina hurricanes x reader #hurricanes #hurricanes imagine #canes lb #nhl hockey #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl writing #writing #fanfiction #'fleeting'

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons cause I love this chaotic little family

I’ve seen a lot of people say Ambrosius is a morning person and Bal is a night owl 

And I have to respectfully disagree 

Will Bal pull some all-nighters in the lab? Absolutely 

But this man is the most early bird coded character I’ve ever seen in my entire life 

When he isn't fully invested in a project he can't stay up past 10 pm

He wakes up at 6 am refreshed and barely needs caffeine 

I’ve also seen a lot of people say he’s a dedicated coffee drinker but something about this man screams “Coffee gives me migraines” 

Ambrosius on the other hand 

That’s an insomniac if I’ve ever seen one 

He’ll get ready for bed around 9 and then stay up til 3 in the morning

Poor babe needs coffee in an IV

He used to wake up really early back in the institute cause he was forced to run a mile every minute he was late to class 

And he’s a heavy sleeper so after the wall came down and he quit being a knight he wouldn't wake up before 1 pm even with Bals help 

And Nimona is just as bad 

Most nights Ambrosius will leave the room because he moves a lot when he can’t sleep and Bal is a light sleeper 

He’ll sit in the living room watching tv while trying to sleep and most of the time Nimona will join him 

Every once and a while Bal will find them laying on top of each other on the couch and will take them back to their respective beds 

And if you’re wondering what their favorite show to watch together is it’s those house-flipping shows 

But not for the reason you think

Most people watch those shows cause they think it’s inspiring 

Ambrosius and Nimona talk about how terrible these people are at their jobs  

They’ll go on hour-long rants about how these people are stripping the houses of everything that made them a home

(Ambrosius is a sentimental bitch and would be a maximalist after leaving the institute prove me wrong)

When Nimona is bored she’ll go into the city disguised as Bal or Ambrosius 

And she’ll fool literally everyone it’s a pretty common occurrence for the boys to be at home and then they hear the other swearing like a damn sailor because there are already news articles about it

The only people she can’t fool are Bal and Ambrosius 

Bal will shut them down almost immediately 

They’ll walk over to Bal and won’t even get a word out before Bal says “Shift back Nim you’re freaking me out”

They always make a big deal out of being caught making big decorations like “I’m getting better and one day I’ll fool you” 

And he’ll hum in agreement but he knows that it doesn’t matter how good he gets or how observant he is he’ll be able to fully copy every little detail 

The details that Bal has spent the past decade and a half remembering  

You know the little things like how he can’t say Bal or Nimona’s names without smiling even when he’s pissed

Or how he scrunches his nose when he laughs 

Ambrosius always acts like Nimona tricked him

He’ll let them get comfortable in the character and then he’ll drop the bomb 

Something small and inconspicuous like “Hey Nim do you want pizza for dinner?” and they’ll excitedly proclaim “Hell yeah pizza!” 

It takes them a second to realize they’ve been played and when they do they never make a big deal about it

They normally just mumble a curse or two and walk away with their tail between their legs (literally)

The first time Nimona tried to trick Ambrosius was when he was having one of those days 

You know the days when even breathing feels like a fucking battle

This was in a really awkward period too

Like right after Nimona and Ambrosius started trusting each other but right before they really started to get to know each other 

But she knew the boys well enough to know if Bal came home to a sad Ambrosius then he’d be in a bad mood for the rest of the day 

And she knows that the only thing that can cure a mopey Ambrosius is Bal 

She walked into the room and started talking to Ambrosius and was kind of surprised and a little bit peeved about how well she was fooling him

Until he said “You can drop the act Nim I know it’s you” 

They kind of just sat in that silence for a minute until Nimona said the first thing that came to her mind 

“You want me to find my sax?” 

Bal shouldn’t have been surprised to find Nimona disguised as him serenading Ambrosius with the worst freestyle jazz he’s ever heard (which is saying something)

He didn’t even say anything he just sat down and cuddled the love of his life while watching their kid try and play the sax while breakdancing

#nimona 2023 #nimona movie #nimona headcanon #nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #goldenheart #those dorks know each other better than they know themselves #I'm fully convinced Bal has spent days counting the freckles and beauty marks on Ambrosius' face #Cause they're sappy like that #Nimona isn't the best at comforting people #it's a real learning curve #especially cause these boys have a sadness that runs crazy deep #I'm sending all of these poor traumatized bubs to therapy #this is so long #I think it’s the longest post I’ve made in a while

[srjlvr]

WEVERSE CRUSH !

YOUR favorite hobby after a busy schedule is going on weverse and trying to get jungwon’s(your classmates) attention so bad! what happens when it does actually happen? you get excited of course! but what happens when you get a reply from him every day?

OR in which you caught jungwon’s attention with your posts on weverse and now, regardless of his tight schedule and millions of fans who’s trying to get his attention, he’s only searching for your posts every day.

PAIRING idol!jungwon X idol&fan!femreader

GENER fluff , a bit of angst , comfort , type of classmates to lovers(?) but they’re basically strangers on weverse !

WARNINGS vv cringy i think , mentions of stress , awful humor and pick up lines ! (pls lmk if i missed something)

WC 4.9k+ (the longest i’ve written ever!)

NOTE this is to all of the fans that never got noticed by jungwon on weverse but do get a lot of spams💔 n e ways pls like this i worked hard on this☹️🤞🏻

NOT PROOFREAD!!

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 10:20PM jungwon! i had a busy schedule today but thinking about you always made me feel better🤍

“trying again?” one of your group mates glanced at you staring at your phone, “i’m just sharing how my day was” you shrugged.

“he’s got like millions of posts, you know that too” she chuckled, “instead of being online in your own group’s weverse you’re going online on your fan account”

“i’m online everyday you’re just overreacting” you rolled your eyes.

“why don’t you just talk to him in class? didn’t you say you both were classmates?” she pat your head.

you shook your head, “it’s not that easy, we’re both barely attending to class because of our busy schedule, and we basically stopped talking after a while”

“it’s the only way i can interact with him—at least hope so? idk”

“and what if he does notice you?” she suddenly asked, “what are you going to do then?”

“probably faint”

“you’re acting like a real fan right now”

“what do you mean acting? i am a real fan”

“no you’re not, you’re just crushing over him and don’t know how to properly confess so you’re using this app and hoping to get noticed” your other group mate barged in your conversation.

“i mean, you both are classmates but you’re always so desperate to grab his attention on weverse, what’s the point of that?” she added.

“it kinda like became my usual thing to do, before i log into our weverse i log into enhypen and leave a post there” you shrugged, “it’s one of my favorite things to do”

“you’re hopelessly in love” they both teased you.

“good morning!” you greet your classmates. your schedule was clean for the whole week so you decided were forced to go back to school.

your friends greeted you back and you sat at your desk.

“morning” jungwon mumbled as he entered the class.

it was a rare sight, jungwon’s never usually at school. his schedule is way busier than yours and considering the fact that you show up to school once a month, it was quite surprising to see jungwon’s presence.

“morning” you greeted back and he went to his seat at the corner of the class.

you missed him. you actually did. having a crush is more than just thinking about someone 24/7, it’s also about missing him.

jungwon is your role model, he had always been. being classmates for more than four years together, he helped you getting into the company you wanted and encouraged you to stay until you debut.

you went through all of this because of him and yet, both of you rarely even talk.

jungwon couldn’t quite explain why, perhaps it’s your pretty eyes that he gets lost while staring at them, or was it your smile that always ( no matter when ! ) lights up the world, his world.

he found himself getting all shy and closed up being around you, call it cheesy but jungwon just can’t stop thinking about you and missing you.

he tends to come to school more often these days, some might think he’s just trying to catch up with school, but truth is, he’s searching for you every day, to see you and your smile.

you sat at the front line while jungwon sat at the corner, which makes it easier for him to stare at you without you even noticing.

“should i ask him to eat lunch with us today?” you whispered to your seatmate and she nodded.

“i just don’t know—“ “morning! finally y/n we get to see you!” the teacher got in class and cut you.

after class you gathered all your stuffs quickly but stopped when you felt a figure standing in front of you,

“hey um” you coughed, “jungwon, i’m jungwon-“ he cut you off.

you froze, a bit taken aback, “no i know-“ “oh! oh right” he nodded.

“i was wondering if you’d like to grab some-“

“hey y/n! let’s go to the cafeteria!” your friends called you and you instantly frowned, “i can’t, something urgent came up and i need to go”

they nodded and left, you then turned to jungwon, “what did you want to-“ “it’s okay, never mind about that” he quickly mumbled and left.

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:34PM jungwon! i had school today but i had to leave early today because something urgent came up ): i missed lunch with someone i really adore and im really sad):

“hey jay! check this out” jungwon showed jay his phone. “what’s wrong?” jay asked after reading the post.

“it seems so weird! it happened to me today at school too” he coughed, “with y/n”

“y/n again? you never stop talking about her” niki joined in.

jungwon sighed, “i can’t stop thinking about her, it’s like she’s living in my mind rent free”

jay pat jungwon’s shoulder, he can see how sad is friend is and how difficult things are for him.

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: you’ll always have tomorrow to spend together!

“OH MY GOD” you froze, looking at your phone for a few good minutes until your group mates came in rushing, “ARE YOU OKAY?”

one of them held a pan in her hand, ready to attack any stalker.

“it’s-“ you tried to speak, “it’s-“

“just give me the phone!” another one grabbed your phone and looked through it.

she sighed when she realized what was happening, “really y/n?”

“what is it?”

the curious cats followed her and peeked into her phone, they all sighed when they saw what is this all about.

“i was about to experience a heart attack!! we don’t do those things y/n!”

“no but you don’t understand!”

“yang jungwon just replied to me!” you walked back and forth around the room.

“i need you to sit down and calm down!” the leader held your shoulders and dropped you on the couch, “it happened once and it probably won’t happen again, i’m really happy for you”

“if you don’t get noticed by him at school at least you got noticed by him on weverse”

“BURNNN” they all shout and giggled.

you know they were joking, your groupmates became your family in a blink of an eye. they take a good care of you, and worry about you 24/7, like good old sisters.

but what they like to do the most is to tease you, which you find very annoying, but they just find it really cute.

“i’m definitely going to keep an eye on her” jungwon said to jay who was sitting next to him, “i have no choice but to trust your instincts now” he replied.

“how was your schedule yesterday?” your classmate asked you the next day.

you laid your head on your desk and groaned, “it was pretty tiring most of the time”

they pat your head and let you off, without having any other distractions—you fell asleep.

“morn-” jungwon got into the classroom and noticed your sleeping figure.

he smiled to himself, finding you so cute and adorable with your head all smashed over your desk and your slow breaths that made him think you were choking there for a second.

“what are you looking at?” his friend put his hand over jungwon’s shoulder, “nothing, i was just thinking about something”

“y/n wake up!” you heard someone whispering. you slowly opened your eyes and was welcomed by your friends all gathered around you with a big smile, “what is it?” you uttered.

“someone got you this drink” one of your friends held out your favorite drink, “you slept through all the periods, it’s lunch time already”

you looked at your phone and gasped, “why did no one wake me up?”

“we tried, you just were in deep sleep”

“thank you for the drink, did you happen to see who that was?” you curiously looked at the drink as your friends shrugged, “we all went out to get our lunch”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 6:08PM something really weird happened today at school! someone bought me my favorite drink and put it on my desk! do you think i should look for that person?

“look!!” jungwon, who was active on weverse suddenly noticed the post, “it’s the same person from yesterday”

jay sat next to him and peeked at jungwon’s phone, “why? did you buy y/n her favorite drink today without her knowing?” he giggled but stopped when he noticed jungwon started blushing, “you can’t be serious”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: go search for that person!!

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i wish you good luck🤍

“AGAIN??” you shout, you sat on the couch with your groupmates and made them all jump when you shout.

“again?” they sighed, “WAIT WHAT?”

you showed them your phone with jungwon’s replies and they all joined you to the shouts.

“you know what they say!” one of them said, “third time a charm!” the rest of you completed the sentence and giggled.

“i’m going to be full honest now,” another one said, “i don’t think there is going to be a third time”

“you never know!”

the next day you got notified that your “schedule-free” week was a complete lie.

“what do you mean i can’t go to school this week? you told me i’m free!” your argued your manager.

“some photoshoots and sponsors came up, i’m sorry it’s like that” she pat your shoulder.

“how am i going to see jungwon again?” you asked your group leader.

if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s probably to listen and give advices, that’s why you find yourself always laying your head on her lap and venting out your concerns.

“it’s not like you’ve seen him a lot before” she said, “right?”

“no but it was different this time! i was actually ready to talk to him about everything”

“what do you mean everything?”

“i don’t know i—“ you sighed, “my feelings? the way i feel whenever i look at him? everything”

“you do realize that it’d probably be weird to confess to someone you rarely talk to, right?”

“i hate that you’re right” you rolled your eyes, “i was actually ready to befriend him, to get closer to him”

“you’re so boring y/n! you should be more bold!”

“what do you expect me to do?”

“show him that you’re interested in him without being too weird and confessing your feelings” she smirked.

“but how?”

“do you know how to rizz up someone?”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:39AM jungwon! aside from stealing hearts, what do you do?

“are you serious with me right now? why did you post that!” you shout at your leader who was busy laughing her ass off, “is that what you meant by being bold?”

“that is how you rizz up people now!”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: do you normally flirt with people so easily?

“OH MY GOD??” you dropped your phone and your friend froze, “don’t tell me he replied” she gasped.

“ALMOST INSTANTLY” you nodded and kneeled to get your now broken phone.

“NO WAY” she laughed, “third time a charm!”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: but other than stealing hearts i think about you🤍

“slap me right now” you smacked your hand over your forehead, “okay” she slapped you.

“why would you do that?”

“you asked for it!”

on the other side, jungwon was giggling at his phone, staring at it for a few good minutes, that was until heeseung took his phone away.

“hey! give it back” jungwon tried to take his now stolen phone back but heeseung was too strong,

“i saw you smiling at your phone so i thought you were texting someone,” heeseung sighed and returned jungwon’s phone, “but weverse, really?”

jungwon shrugged, “i’m just replying to fans, they’re cute”

heeseung shook his head in return, “it’s not ‘fans’ you’re talking to, it’s only one specific fan you’re replying to”

“i’ve been replying to other fans too”

“that’s what you’d like to think”

heeseung was right, jungwon does only reply to the person he said he’d keep an eye on, which is totally fine, but at what cost?

“fans are starting to think you’re dating that person secretly, you should be careful” heeseung sighed.

“you’re right, that person just interests me” jungwon replied, “i have this weird feeling it might be y/n”

“y/n? why would she be on our weverse page?” heeseung tilt his head, “doesn’t she have her own group’s weverse page to go through?”

“yeah, but some posts of her really reminds me of situations that occurred between us,” jungwon nodded, “look, a few days ago she posted something that was really similar to what happened at school!”

heeseung took jungwon’s phone again to look through the suspicious account, “let’s just keep an eye on this account”

“that’s what i’ve been trying to say!”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:45AM jungwon i was so surprised when i got a reply from you and dropped my phone💔 it’s broken now!!

“that’s—“ jungwon gasped, “that’s not what i meant to happen with my response”

heeseung just giggled, “i mean who wouldn’t be surprised to get a reply from their favorite idol?”

jungwon nodded and slowly tapped his reply.

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: haha i’d be surprised if i were you too!!

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: how will i ever be able to repay you?

“now it just feels like he’s flirting back with me” you chuckled.

“you caught jungwon’s attention y/n!” your leader giggled, “notice how he’s always replying to you almost instantly? it’s as if he’s waiting to see your posts”

you shook your hand, “no way! why would jungwon wait for me to be online?”

“that my friend,” she put her hand on your shoulder, “is up to you to figure that out”

the next day you begged your manager to cancel your schedule, with the excuse of, “i have exams coming up and i need to catch up, do you want to see me fail?”

and it actually worked!

today you’re going to see jungwon and talk to him, no matter what!

you arrived at school and sat by your usual seat, putting your broken phone on the desk and laying your head over your hands next to it.

you slowly drifted to sleep, school is too boring on the morning anyway!

as jungwon entered the class he first looked over your direction, of course he would.

he smiled to himself, he always does when he looks at you.

he then noticed your phone that was right next to you, it was smashed and broken, as if it was dropped.

jungwon gasped, he opened his phone and entered weverse, searching the account he’s been keeping an eye on, and that was it.

a dropped and now broken phone, it’s a match!

he took a picture of your broken phone and went back to his seat to text his members about the shocking news.

‘it’s definitely her’ he sent the text and added the picture of your broken phone.

‘i don’t think so, just because of a broken phone?’ jay responded.

‘yes! she said yesterday that her phone was dropped and got broken’ jungwon replied.

‘it might be a coincidence’ heeseung claimed.

jungwon was about to text them back but had to turn off the phone once the teacher entered the class.

first break of the day was a good opportunity to talk to jungwon. you woke up in the middle of the second period and thought about ways to approach him.

you searched for him in the class, eyes scanning every place until you landed on his seat, of course, that’s how he usually spends his first break. in his usual seat, with a snack in one hand and in the other he’s holding his phone and scrolling through social media.

you got up, suddenly feeling bold enough to make steps towards his seat.

“hey jungwon” you let out.

he froze for a second, then turning off his phone and putting away his snack, “oh, hey y/n”

“heyyyyy” you said again.

“hey?” he questioned.

“uhm” you coughed, “sorry”

“it’s okay, is there something wrong?”

“no no!” you shook your hand, “i was just wondering”

you was about to continue but your phone buzzed, you got a notification.

“your phone’s broken” he pointed out.

shit, you thought. “yeah” you giggled, “i uh—“

“i dropped it after my members decided to pull a scary prank on me” good one.

he nodded and chuckled, “so?”

“so,” you cleared your throat, “i was wondering if you’d like to start over again”

finally!! you cheered.

“i mean, you’ve helped me a lot through my trainee days and encouraged me to achieve my dreams but we stopped talking after i debuted and i really feel like—“ you spoke too fast and jungwon cut you off, “i’d really like that”

“really?” you asked and he nodded, “really”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 8:50PM i asked my crush if he’d like to get to know each other again today!! he’s a person that really helped me through tough times and always encouraged me! we were good friends back then but stopped talking after a while, i really thought he was angry at me for some reason, but i couldn’t stop having feelings for him, so i made the first step today and he actually agreed!! im so happy!!

“you did WHAT?” your group leader asked you.

“i did it, i asked if he’d like to get to know each other aga-“

“oh im so proud of you my child” she hugged you tightly and pecked your forehead, “you’re all grown up now”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: well,

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i’m sure he wasn’t angry with you at all!

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im happy that you two are starting all over again, who knows, maybe he feels the same about you ;)

“got you y/n” jungwon giggled.

“why don’t you just talk with her about it?” jake put his hand over jungwon’s shoulders as he stared at his phone.

“it’s difficult” jungwon frowned, “do i just go like ‘oh hey! i know you have a weverse account and i know your user, i have feelings for you too so let’s date’?”

“yeah!” jake nodded and jungwon groaned, “you’re no help”

“so? tell us everything” your members sat you on the couch while they surrounded you with some curious eyes.

“about?”

“about what happened at school!”

“i went to jungwon, asked him if he’d like to start over again, he said he’d love to, so we went together to get some lunch and talked about everything we missed, it was real fun honestly really recommend you to do that too—“

“did you confess, or not” they all asked.

“no why would i confess so soon”

they all sighed, “no drama, no fun!”

you rolled your eyes, “can we at least eat something now?”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 9:27PM i don’t think he feels the same, but it was really fun to spend the day together with him, his company has always made me feel warm and comfortable.

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im more than happy to hear that! first breaks are always so fun when you spend them with a person you like ^-^

you tilt your head in confusion, showing your phone to your members, “look at that”

they all read your post and his reply, “what’s so weird about it?”

“i never said i spent the first break together with him”

“DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS?” you freaked out, “OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD” you held your head, moving back and forth around the room.

“y/n calm down!!” your leader said, “maybe he just assumed it was the first break since it’s the first time of the day you get to spend with other people!”

“you’re right,” you breathed in, calming yourself down, “thank you”

next day you went back in track, your manager told you the next time you’d be showing up to school would be only on exams and maybe next month.

your schedule became busier than before, you barely had time to breath. going back and forth, from a phothshoot to an interview then practice and more.

you were drained and overworked, your phone hasn’t been touched ever since the last day you showed up at school, which means—you haven’t showed up on weverse a few weeks already.

you’d see jungwon only when you arrive to school to take exams, but then disappear right away after you finish them.

“waiting for a new update again?” sunghoon asked jungwon who was staring at his phone and refreshing the page every minute, “yeah” he replied.

“she’s always online around these hours” he added.

“have you seen her at school?” sunghoon asked, jungwon froze for a second, thinking about the last time you showed up at school, “only when there’s an exam we need to take”

“maybe she’s just having a busy schedule,” sunghoon shrugged, “you’re barely online when you have a tight schedule”

“right” jungwon nodded, “but i wonder if she’s doing well” he sighed and closed his phone.

the past days has been awful to you. you slowly felt yourself vanishing, like a lifeless soul walking around.

your groupmates always looks after you worriedly, you’d barely even talk to anyone.

“y/n what about eating something?” your leader asked you, “no i’m okay, i ate just a few minutes ago” you smiled.

that was a total lie, you simply didn’t feel like eating lately.

slowly but surely you stared at your phone, five minutes won’t hurt, right?

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 12:57PM haven’t been active lately and i miss being here and interacting with you jungwon! i don’t think i’ll be able to be active again so i’m here to say that you should take good care of yourself, eat your meals in time and rest when you need to.🤍 your health always comes first!!

you sighed and turned off your phone.

jungwon, who was busy staring at his phone and waiting for a new update suddenly jumped in his chair.

“finally”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im sorry to hear that, is everything okay?

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i’ll make sure to take care of myself as long as you take care of yourself too 🤍

he replied immediately, as if he’s the one getting a notification from you each time you post something—when it’s supposed to be the opposite.

“jungwon we’ve recently found out that you’re suffering from that illness,” niki pat jungwon’s head,

“what is it?”

“the ‘weverse crush’ illness” niki laughed and jungwon sighed.

“you can’t stop refreshing the page to see a new post from her!” jay claimed, “and you’re replying so fast whenever she does post something” jake added.

“you should just get her phone number and text her” heeseung shrugged.

“but im not sure it’s her” jungwon turned off his phone.

“all clues points at her, it’s worth a shot” sunghoon nodded.

the next day you were forced to go back to school, your school principal complained about the fact that you’ve been missing most of your classes and nearly failing in all of them.

so it’s settled, you’ll be going to school for a month sharp, without any useless inconveniences.

first day of school after a while of not being there felt like a nightmare.

you looked at the school building with horror, yet, you felt a bit excited to see jungwon again.

you took your usual seat, put your earphones in and listened to your favorite song.

when jungwon entered the class, he was surprised to see you sitting there and staring at one point of the class.

he knocked on your desk and you zoomed out, “oh, hey” you smiled weakly.

something definitely happened while you were gone, “hey, it’s good to see you again”

the teacher entered the class right away and jungwon ran to his seat.

at lunch, you stayed in your desk, excusing yourself from your friends and going back to your books to read and study.

jungwon frowned, he has to do something about it.

he went to the cafeteria and got your favorite snack, he knows it’s your favorite, he remembers.

you were so focused on your study book to notice jungwon’s figure next to you.

“knock knock?” he questioned and you looked at him, making eye contact for a few seconds before looking away.

“hey again” you closed your book and focused on him.

“i got it for you” he handed you your favorite snack with a wide grin on his face.

“thank you”

silence. it was so quiet that you could even hear the birds outside.

“is everything okay?” he suddenly asked.

“huh?”

“oh yes, everything’s amazing” you smiled.

“we both know you’re lying”

turns out you were a bad liar after all.

“i’m not going to force you to speak,” he pat your shoulder, “but i’m here for you”

those words, were enough to break you down.

you felt comfort around him, you felt everything you feel around someone you’re in love with, you felt warm, welcomed and understood.

so you told him everything, from A to Z.

jungwon is known as his group’s no.1 comforter, and he’s now your personal no.1 comforter as well.

he knew the exact words to say to you and how to make you feel better.

right when you finished crying he told you a joke, and now you were shedding tears out of laughter.

“thank you” you looked at him with comfort.

“anytime” he chuckled and stole your snack, “you’re not crying anymore so i’ll just take that and save it for myself”

you rolled your eyes and kept messing around until it was time for another class.

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 8:30PM i had the best day ever today! i saw my favorite person ever at school today, after a long time i haven’t been able to see him! i also cried in front of him (was so embarrassing) but he comforted me so well, i think i’m falling in love all over again.

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: see!! lunch time can be so fun when you’re with a person you like too!!

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i hope you’ll be able to spend more time together in the future!!

“he definitely knows” you freaked out.

“even if he does,” your leader clapped, “what’s so wrong about it?”

“what if he doesn’t like me back?”

“he does”

“how do you know that?”

“because i just do!” she sighed, “otherwise he wouldn’t reply to you so instantly as if he waits for your posts every day”

“you’re right” you nodded.

“but what if he does it just so he could laugh at me with his members?”

“not a chance” she groaned, “stop overthinking so much and just talk to him about it!”

“so um,” the next day, you dragged jungwon out of the classroom as soon as he entered.

you had to talk about it before the rest of the day continues.

“you have weverse right…?” you suddenly asked, “oh my god that was so stupid of me of course you do you’re an idol and—“

“i know it’s you” he cut you off.

“what?”

“isn’t that what you wanted to ask me?” he tilt his head, “i know it’s you” he repeated.

“and,” you wanted to continue but couldn’t find the words.

“i like you too” he suddenly confessed.

“wha—“

you were about to respond but he cut you off with a peck on your lips, “i said i like you too”

you looked at him, making eye contact for a few good minutes, both of your cheeks are now as red as a tomato,

and as you looked at his pretty face, you could notice how red his ears became.

“for how long?” you asked,

“ever since we started talking” he smiled, “your pretty smile, your beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile, everything about you just made me think about you all day”

“then why—“ “i couldn’t talk to you after you debuted, i was so scared it might hurt your image, and i couldn’t always find the right words to talk to you,” he looked down,

“i didn’t want to look like a loser in front of you” he kicked the air like a little child.

“jungwon” you smiled, “looking like a loser isn’t something to be ashamed of” you giggled.

“i like you, in any form or any shape or whatever!” you joked and hugged him tightly.

“would you like to go on a date with me today right after school?” he suddenly asked.

“so bold of you” you teased, pecking the tip of his nose, “but yes, i’d love to go on a date with you”

“can i finally call you mine?” he held your hand.

“of course” you pecked his lips,

“don’t get confused when you’re replying to me on weverse!”

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

#enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen headcanons #enhypen oneshots #enhypen x reader #jungwon x reader #jungwon imagines #enhypen jungwon #jungwon scenarios #jungwon fluff #jungwon drabbles #yang jungwon #jungwon oneshots #jungwon angst

[f1byjessie]

HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81.

love is a wild ride, and logan sargeant's sister is about to find this out the hard way.

( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )

━━ part three.

“Are you sure this is gonna work?” You look down at the post. The photos, carefully taken a few nights ago while getting ready for a dinner gala you’d been brought along to as Sophia’s plus one, are pretty. She and you had scrolled and sorted and scrolled and sorted some more trying to pick the perfect ones, and then you’d written and rewritten the caption more times than you could count before finally settling on something vague but faintly implicit.

You study it for a moment longer, then look back up to your friend.

She smirks. “Trust me. It'll work. I got an ex-boyfriend to come crawling back begging for another chance by making him think I was already moving on.”

“It just seems… mean,” you murmur, frowning. You want Oscar to like you— you want it a lot— but you're not sure if this is the way you want to go about it. “Isn’t this just manipulating him?”

Sophia sighs and falls back onto the bed beside you. She gives you a look, gestures down to your phone, and then curls around your shoulder so she can peer down at the screen. “It’s not a soft launch. There’s no guy. The caption doesn’t mention anyone. If he gets the impression that you’re with someone else, then that’s on him.”

You trust her, of course, but this is Oscar. You’ve known him for years. He’s your brother’s best friend, and for the longest time, he was the closest thing you had to a best friend too. As twins, anything Logan did you tended to do with him— soccer, swimming, biking. You even had shared birthday parties growing up. Karting was the first real thing he’d done on his own, but even then you’d always been close by, and that meant you’d always been close by to Oscar too.

Like she can sense your continued hesitation, Sophia speaks up again. “If you post that, and he doesn’t react, then that’s that. You don’t have to do it again.”

“I just— I don’t know.” You worry your lip between your teeth. “I just don’t think it’s the type of thing that he’d go for. He’s, you know, polite like that, I guess? If he thought I was taken, or moving on, or something, then he’d respect that and wouldn’t bother me.”

The silence hangs in the room. She’s still leaning against you, one hand rubbing your shoulder comfortingly and the other hugging you into her. When you stand, she lets you go easily, watching as you begin to pace the length of your bedroom, phone clenched tightly in your hands.

When you finally come to a halt in the corner farthest from the bed, you turn and meet her gaze shyly, “What if he stops ‘maybe’ having feelings for me because he thinks I'm taken? Or, what if he thinks I’m not interested and so he doesn’t ever bring it up?”

“Then you take one for the team and you tell him,” she shrugs. “Woman up and admit that the entire time you were out in that fancy dress of yours with those roses, you’d wished it was him who had gotten them for you and you’d wanted it to be him you were getting dressed up for.”

You look back down to your phone.

You’ve never done this before— boys, at least. The chase. Europe hadn’t been a very easy place to live— not with a schedule that made keeping friends virtually impossible, let alone a boyfriend. When you moved back to the United States, you were focused more on your career, prioritizing yourself over anything else.

You’d been single for so long that you hadn’t been in any hurry to change things, but now the lack of experience is making you nervous. Apart from movies and books and the borderline horror stories Sophia has told you about her own disastrous love life, you don’t know the first thing about dating.

“Y/N, is this about Oscar or something else?”

You look up, still biting at your lip. “What if we break up and I’ve ruined a friendship?”

Sophia raises an eyebrow, “Is he the kind of guy that would throw away a friendship because things didn’t work out?”

“I don’t know! That’s the problem! I wanna say no, that he’d be totally fine and we would be able to pretend like nothing happened and go back to how we were before it all, but I can’t,” you cross the room and lower yourself onto the bed again. “Context matters too. What if it’s a really messy breakup and we can never look at each other the same? What if he does something so unforgivable that it ruins his friendship with my brother? Logan worked hard to make friends and this first season was rough for him. He’s the only American driver on the grid, and they weren’t exactly welcoming. But Oscar was there for him and I would never forgive myself if I did something to ruin that.”

“What could Oscar do that would be so unforgivable it would ruin a friendship?”

You fall back onto the mattress. “I don’t know that either! Realistically he wouldn’t do anything because that’s just who he is— he’s like the nicest most genuinely sweet guy I’ve ever met. But I’m not a fortune teller! I can’t look into the future and know that he won’t get tired of me and go find some other girl, or, I don’t know.”

You can feel tears burning at the back of your eyes and wipe at them harshly.

Sophia notices and lays down beside you, pulling you into her side again. She runs her fingers through your hair and lets you compose yourself a bit more before she speaks up again. When she does, it’s— “You’re so afraid of the worst-case scenario that you aren’t even letting yourself take the chance. Sometimes you just gotta leap before you look and believe that you’ll land on solid ground.”

“I hate when you get philosophical on me,” you murmur, a soft laugh slipping past your lips.

She sits back up and rolls her eyes, but there’s a gentle smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Puh-lease. As if you’d ever get anything done without my wizened words of advice.”

You sniffle and wipe the last remnants of tears from your eyes, then sit up with her and look back down at your phone. The unfinished post still stares back up at you.

“What if I just—” you delete the caption for the umpteenth time and let your fingers dance across the screen, “—say this instead?”

Sophia leans over your shoulder, reads the new caption, pauses, and purses her lips. She reads it again, hums, and then breaks out into a grin. An incredulous laugh slips out and she turns to you with shining eyes. “You’re a damn genius! I knew you were worried over nothing. You just gotta stop getting into your head so much.”

INSTAGRAM.

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, and 12,827 others

yourusername honey, i’m still free. take a chance on me.

view all 7,631 comments

user WHAT???

user IS THIS A SOFT LAUNCH???

↳ user she’s literally saying she’s still free?? why would she say that if this is a soft launch?? 😭😭

logansargeant should’ve taken me with you 😒

↳ yourusername logie we both know you hate black tie events

user girl idk how you can do it i’d be spilling out of that dress with one wrong turn

user THE ROSES?? THE BABY’S BREATH?? I’M SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS

landonorris slay girl queen boss

↳ yourusername lando… what…

↳ landonorris i’m in my supportive era 😌💅 you should try it sometime

user i NEED to know where that dress is from omg

user oh to be a young rich and beautiful socialite

user not to be delulu but there’s a surprising lack of op81 in these comments 👀

INSTAGRAM.

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 429,868 others

oscarpiastri it’s summer somewhere right?

view all 1,021 comments

landonorris hm this caption seems familiar 🤨 i wonder what it could be referencing 🤔

user GOOD LUCK IN 2024 OSCAR 🧡🧡🧡

user wishing this were me rn

user i’m too delulu for this rn 😭

↳ user i’m waiting for y/n to show up in these comments

↳ user did they have a fight or smth??? they haven’t commented on each other’s last few posts

user gosh that’s the dream rn

When you answer the unknown number, on your way back to your room with a tub of ice cream and a plan to eat away your disappointment at the failure of Sophia’s plan, the last thing you expect is to hear Lando Norris of all people on the other end. There’s no greeting, no introduction, just an immediate— “Yeah, so, I’m gonna need you to fill me in on the sitch.”

For a brief moment, all you can do is stand there in the hallway with your phone pressed to your ear, wondering if this is real. You’ve had maybe a few brief conversations with Lando throughout your various visits to the paddock across the season, and though he was very nice and polite, and all of your interactions were friendly, you wouldn’t exactly call yourself friends. Certainly not “swap numbers and call one another” type of friends, either. Your most recent socializing has been strictly confined to the comment sections of Instagram posts.

“Hello? Y/N?”

You clear your throat, “Sorry. What?”

“The sitch? Situation? That’s an American slang word, I thought you knew that.” He says it so matter-of-factly. As if that’s the only thing you could be even remotely confused about in this whole interaction.

“No,” you answer, shaking your head as if it’ll somehow straighten out the spinning of your mind. “I know what the word means, Lando. I’m just wondering why you of all people are calling me right now? How’d you even get my number?”

You can hear music and voices on the other end of the line, muffled and distant, and then a door opens and closes and the extra noise is gone. Lando takes a deep breath and sighs, “If you must know, I got it from Alex, who got it from Lily, who got it from you. So, you know, transitive property means technically I got it from you, too.”

“I’m gonna choose to ignore how wrong all of that is,” you mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose as you continue down the hall and eventually slip into your room, shutting the door quietly behind you.

You do recall giving your number to Lily, and the two of you have shared a few messages since the end of the season— mostly typical check-ins and catching up with the happenings of your individual lives. Occasionally she sends you recipes she thinks you’d like, and you do the same. You knew she’d given it to Alex because she’d asked you first if that was okay, and all Alex had sent was a brief well-wishes when Williams had confirmed Logan’s re-signing, accompanied by a short message that Lily was looking forward to seeing you in the paddock again.

Ignoring all of that, however, you focus on the matter at hand. “Why are you calling? Isn’t it crazy late in Monaco right now?”

He hums. “I’m the slightest bit tipsy, but I cannot take it anymore. If I see one more caption with underlying subtext like this is a forbidden romance in a period drama I am going to, quite frankly, lose my mind. I need you to explain to me what in the fuck is going on between you and Oscar.”

You pause, and then you groan. “Oh my God.”

“Yes, ‘oh my God’ indeed. Now please explain.”

You heave a sigh, because you know he isn’t going to drop this, but you also know that if anyone could help you more than Sophia, it’s probably Lando. He’s Oscar’s teammate, and at the very least, if you can’t talk to Logan, you can talk to the only other person who probably knows him just as well.

“It’s a long story,” you mumble, curling up in your bed.

He makes a sound, like a scoff. “Okay? I have plenty of time.”

So you start from the beginning. Between spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream, you detail how it all started because of a message of condolence, how that had led to a rendezvous for drinks, and how that had led even further to him kissing you in the car as he’d dropped you off at your hotel.

He’s silent up until you mention that Oscar hadn’t acknowledged the kiss at all afterward, and then he makes an affronted noise and mutters something under his breath about stupid guys and heads in asses.

You admit that part of it was your own fault, that you hadn’t attempted to communicate either because you’d been afraid of the reaction and potentially the rejection, but that you’d been kicking yourself ever since for missing out on being able to talk face to face about things when you’d had the chance.

It all culminates in you explaining your current situation, and you tell him about your talk with Sophia and then your friend’s self-proclaimed mastermind plan, which had failed spectacularly when Oscar hadn’t even seen the post.

When you’re finished, there’s a moment of silence before he bursts into laughter.

You flush red in embarrassment and hug the tub of ice cream closer to your chest, feeling miserable and ashamed, but also like you deserve it all anyway. The tub isn’t freezing cold anymore, but the chill still seeps in through your shirt faintly, and it’s comforting against the heated blush.

“Sorry,” he says when his cackling has died down to chuckles. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I actually do want to help. I genuinely can’t take one more post with a caption that’s all thinly veiled pining.”

You pause, fiddle with your spoon for a moment, and then hesitantly ask— “Do you know if he likes me?”

Lando goes quiet, and then he hums and admits that he doesn’t. “But,” he adds quickly, “just because I don’t have total confirmation doesn’t mean it isn’t basically obvious. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I know Oscar.”

You sigh, “But how are you going to help? You can’t just ask.”

“I don’t need to,” he answers, like you’re crazy for thinking he’d do something like that. “I’ve got a plan.”

Great. You run a hand down your face and try to stay optimistic. Another plan.

━━ tags: @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis @405rry

━━ a/n: a bit more writing heavy this part, and a bit longer because of it, but i'm proud of how it turned out! we're finally getting somewhere, and now we've got lando joining the team. genuinely had so much fun writing him, so i'm excited to feature him in future parts!

#formula 1 #formula one #f1 #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri imagine #social media au #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #logan sargeant #alex albon #lando norris

[natashasfilms]

You’re Losing Me

Summary: Dating a colleague has always been an exhilarating experience. However, as you reach a point where you’re ready to take the relationship further after spending years together, doubts start to creep in. You begin questioning whether you’re the only one putting effort into saving something that seems to be slowly fading away.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Fem!Reader

Warnings: taylor swift’s song “you’re losing me”, angst, fluff, coworker relationship, language, drowning, stabs, injuries, usual criminal minds stuff, use of y/n, lovers to exes to lovers again, not really unrequited love, insecurity, making out, happy ending

Word Count: 7,938 (the longest one shot i’ve written so far…)

Note: It’s been so so so long since I’ve posted anything on here, so enjoy a little Aaron Hotchner one shot! I’m think of writing an Aaron Hotchner/Criminal Minds series, similar to my Steve Harrington/Stranger Things series, but it may take me a while to finish writing the entire thing. Maybe I’ll write a few chapters and then upload those and write along as I go but I don’t want to do that in case I lose motivation throughout the midst of it. We’ll see what happens! It’s just that I’m super busy but I have such great ideas for this series!

Criminal Minds Masterlist

As the sunlight slowly filtered through the windows, you began to awake from your slumber. Opening your eyes, you gazed at the ceiling and felt the comforting embrace of a pair of arms around your waist. Turning your head, you smiled at the man sleeping beside you and planted a gentle kiss on the top of his head. After disentangling yourself from his arms, you got out of bed.

Quickly, you took a shower, brushed your teeth, and dressed for the day. Upon leaving the bathroom, you found your boyfriend, Aaron, sitting at the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes. “Morning, Aaron.” You greeted him.

He looked up with a grin, standing up to meet you. “Morning.” He responded, giving you a kiss on the cheek before heading to the bathroom himself.

You then entered Jack’s room to wake him up and get him ready for school. Seeing him still asleep, you approached with a gentle touch, waking him with a soft rub on his head. “Jack, sweetie, it’s time to wake up.”

Jack groaned, still half-asleep. “Five more minutes.”

You chuckled, playfully poking his cheek. “Come on, buddy. You’ll be late for school.” Eventually, Jack sat up in bed, and you left his room with a cheeky smile.

Preparing breakfast for your two boys, you heard footsteps down the hall. Setting the plates on the table, you watched as Jack settled into his seat. “Thank you, Y/N! This looks good!”

Nodding, you gave him a quick kiss on the forehead before you and Aaron sat down at the table. He reached out to hold your hand as a gesture of thanks, which made your heart flutter with affection.

After bidding Jack farewell and dropping him off at school, you and Aaron began your drive to work. Upon arriving, you entered the office first, as your relationship with Aaron was not public knowledge except to Strauss. You both agreed to keep it quiet to avoid potential workplace issues, though you wouldn’t mind being open about it if the opportunity arose. You weren’t entirely sure how Aaron felt about that.

Sitting at your desk, you watched Aaron make his way upstairs to his office, trying not to draw any unnecessary attention. Your colleagues, Emily, Derek, Elle, Spencer, and JJ, were already at their desks, engaged in friendly chatter while working on their paperwork. You joined in, laughing at Emily and Derek’s playful banter.

At times, you felt the urge to spend more time with Aaron in his office, but you respected his decision to keep your relationship private. However, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were the only one who truly cared about the relationship. Four years together, and you were eagerly awaiting for him to pop the question. But that seemed to be indefinitely postponed. It sometimes felt like you were the only one putting effort into the relationship.

Fortunately, the entire day turned out to be pleasantly light. With no new cases, the office was buzzing with paperwork and fueled by several cups of coffee. Every so often, Penelope would come over to chat with all of you, as she often felt lonely in her own office. Her presence brought joy, and you always welcomed her with a warm smile, her infectious happiness lifting your spirits.

As the day drew to a close, the office was nearly empty, with only you, Aaron, and Elle remaining on the current floor. Elle grabbed her bag, ready to head out.

“See you tomorrow, Elle.” You called out, waving.

Elle smiled back at you. “You’re leaving right now, right?”

You nodded, turning to your desk to organize your files. “Yep, just need to gather these files and hand them over to Hotch.”

Her eyes shifted to the man in question, who was still seated at his desk in his office. “Does he ever sleep?” Elle asked, furrowing her brows.

Chuckling, you stood up. “I’d like to say yes, but he’s practically a robot.”

Elle hummed, and her gaze returned to you. “Do you want me to wait for you?” She offered.

You widened your eyes slightly, quickly clearing your throat. “Oh, no, you go ahead. I don’t want to keep you waiting.”

“It’s not a problem, honestly.” Elle reassured you, but you waved your hand dismissively.

“No, really. You can go on ahead. I have to ask Hotch a few questions about the paperwork, anyway.”

You noticed a subtle shift in Elle’s eyes, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint it. “Right. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.” She said, bidding you goodbye before making her way to the glass doors and stepping into the elevator.

Feeling a sense of relief, you let out a sigh, almost convinced that Elle had caught on to your and Aaron’s relationship. Shaking your head to dismiss such thoughts, you collected all the files and made your way up to his office, lightly knocking on the door. Aaron’s voice invited you in, prompting you to enter.

As he looked up from his work, his stern expression softened into one of happiness at the sight of you. You couldn’t help but grin, placing the files on his desk. “It’s late, we should get going.”

Furrowing his brows, Aaron checked the time, and his eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, I didn’t even realize how late it got.” He admitted, quickly gathering the files and organizing everything for the next day.

Both of you exited the building and walked to your car. Settling inside, you watched Aaron start the engine and drive off, your mind preoccupied with thoughts. You were contemplating whether to broach the topic of taking your relationship to the next level or even considering making it public. Although you should have felt at ease discussing it with Aaron, anxiety gripped your heart, causing it to beat rapidly.

Despite knowing Aaron to be the most kind-hearted man you’ve known for years, you couldn’t help but fear his response. You didn’t want this conversation to become a make-or-break moment for your relationship, yet you also couldn’t bear to keep hiding in the shadows any longer.

Arriving at your shared apartment, you both entered, setting your bags down by the door and turning on the lights. With Jack spending the night at Jessica’s, you and Aaron found yourselves alone, creating an opportunity for you to bring up a potentially important conversation.

Deciding to allow yourselves a moment to freshen up and have dinner before broaching the important topic, you wanted to ensure neither of you went to bed hungry in case the conversation didn't go smoothly.

After showering, having dinner, and relaxing, you finally felt ready to initiate the conversation. Throughout the evening, you sensed Aaron’s eyes on you, and it was time for him to ask what was bothering you.

“You’ve been tense all night.” Aaron observed, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder as you both sat on the couch. “Is something wrong?”

Your mind raced through different approaches to the problem, but you still didn’t feel fully prepared as you began to respond to his question. “I’ve been doing some thinking.”

He arched an eyebrow, pulling you closer by wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “Care to share?”

With a tight-lipped smile, you took a deep breath, attempting to calm your nerves. “Have you ever considered...making our relationship public?”

As soon as the words left your mouth, Aaron’s arms dropped from your shoulder. Your heart sank to the pit of your stomach, dreading his response.

“Aaron?” You anxiously waited for his answer, but he fell silent, trying to find the right words to respond to you. “Can you please say something?”

Aaron’s face tightened with hesitation as he tried to find the right words to respond to your question. He glanced away, unable to meet your eyes directly, and sighed heavily. “I...I haven’t really thought about going public.” He finally admitted, his voice tinged with uncertainty. “Our relationship has always been private, and it’s been working for us. I’m afraid of how things might change if we make it public.”

Your heart sank, sensing the reluctance in his response. “But Aaron, we’ve been together for so long, and I’m tired of just hiding our relationship. I want to be with you openly, without constantly worrying about keeping it a secret.” You pleaded, tears welling up in your eyes.

“I know that.” Aaron said, his voice softening. “But we both know how the nature of our work is. If our relationship becomes public, it could jeopardize everything we’ve built here. I can’t risk that, especially for Jack’s sake.”

Frustration and sadness engulfed you, and you felt a surge of emotions welling up inside. “So, you’re choosing your job and keeping up appearances over us? Over me?” You exclaimed, your voice quivering with hurt.

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just not that simple.” Aaron replied, reaching out to touch your arm, but you pulled away.

“Then enlighten me, Aaron. What do you mean? Because maybe it’s not simple for you, but it is for me.” You said firmly, your heart breaking. “I can’t keep living like this. I deserve better than this, Aaron.”

He looked torn, his eyes reflecting his own pain. “I don’t want to lose you.” He murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

“But you’re not willing to fight for us.” You responded, tears streaming down your cheeks. “Tell me, Aaron. Did you even plan on marrying me?”

His silence spoke louder than words, and it was all you needed to get your answer. The truth hung heavily in the air, and your heart shattered in less than two minutes, your fears coming true. The pain of realization washed over you, leaving you feeling raw and vulnerable.

You desperately wanted things to go back to how they were, to find comfort in the familiarity of your relationship. But deep down, you knew that settling for someone who didn’t put effort into the relationship wasn’t right for you. You deserved someone who cherished and valued you, someone who saw a future with you and was willing to fight for it.

“Looks like you’ve already lost me.” You said, your voice cracking with emotion. You hastily wiped away your tears, determined not to break down completely. Standing up from your spot on the couch, you avoided Aaron’s gaze as you walked away, trying to maintain some composure. “I’m sleeping in the guest room tonight.”

The realization that the love of your life might not have felt the same way about you as you thought shattered your heart into pieces. You couldn’t bear to stay in a relationship that made you feel worthless.

What made it even more painful was that Aaron had always been the kindest man you had ever known. He had made you feel loved, supported, and cared for, especially during your lowest moments. However, now, you couldn’t help but question everything.

“Dad?” Jack spoke, catching his father’s attention as he helped put his backpack on. “When is Y/N coming back?”

It had been a week since you and Aaron broke up, and the impact of the decision weighed heavily on both of you. In the aftermath, you moved out of Aaron’s apartment, leaving behind the memories of a once loving relationship. Aaron struggled with the reality that you weren’t living with him anymore. He had tried to apologize and convince you to reconsider, but you remained firm in your decision. You believed that taking some time and space apart was essential for both of you to figure out what you truly wanted.

“I’m not sure, buddy.” Aaron replied to Jack with a gentle smile, masking the turmoil within his heart. “Y/N needed some time to think about things, and we both agreed it was best to take some space for now.”

Jack frowned, sensing that something significant had changed. He missed having you around, and it was hard for him to understand the complexities of adult relationships. But he trusted his father and hoped that things would work out for the best.

Despite your desire for space, maintaining it was extremely challenging when you had to work together. Nevertheless, you were grateful that the rest of the team didn’t seem to notice any change in your demeanor towards each other. You made a concerted effort to act as you always did while on the job, which wasn’t too difficult, considering you had always portrayed your relationship as strictly professional, pretending to know each other only as coworkers.

Aaron despised himself for not being open and honest with you that night, for jeopardizing the relationship you had built over the years. He loved you deeply, and the thought of marrying you had crossed his mind countless times. However, fear had gripped his heart. The pain of losing Haley had left him hesitant about committing to another relationship, and he believed he could never truly move on. Yet, you had always supported him throughout that challenging time. Your constant presence by his side, understanding, and care had gradually allowed him to let go of his fears. Before he knew it, he had become deeply attached to you, and his love for you had grown immeasurably.

It wasn’t that he was ashamed of you that he didn’t want anyone to know about your relationship. Instead, Aaron feared that making it public might endanger you, given the high-stakes nature of their work and the potential risks involved. He wanted to protect you from any repercussions that might arise if their personal relationship were exposed in the often dangerous and unpredictable world they worked in. Although it pained him to keep your love hidden, he believed it was a necessary precaution to keep you safe. After Haley, he didn’t want to make the same mistake again.

Now, he felt utterly foolish. Regret washed over him as he realized he should have communicated with you more openly, explaining why he felt the way he did instead of leaving you to question his love. The pain of knowing that you thought he didn’t reciprocate your feelings, that you believed he was ashamed of you, weighed heavily on his heart.

He wished he could turn back time and find the courage to share his fears and concerns with you, to let you know just how much he loves and values you. The thought of causing you any hurt had never been his intention, but he had failed in expressing himself clearly.

The team sat aboard the private jet, en route to your destination for a new case that demanded your immediate attention. Three homicides, spread across different cities, all linked by a hauntingly similar MO. The victims shared connections that hinted at a calculated pattern, but local law enforcement had hit a dead end, prompting the call for FBI assistance.

Aaron and you purposefully chose seats away from each other, not wanting to add any awkwardness to the already tense situation. As the team delved further into the case, everyone meticulously examined the evidence within the case files.

You scanned through the disturbing details, striving not to let any grimace betray your inner emotions. Over the years, you had grown accustomed to such gruesome cases that it took an emotional toll on even the most seasoned profilers. Yet, you knew that suppressing your emotions was essential to focus on the task at hand.

“Morgan, Prentiss, and Elle, I want you three to check the latest victim’s crime scene and look for anything new. Reid, JJ, and L/N, I need you to head to the coroner’s office and examine the autopsy reports.” Aaron said, making brief eye contact with you for a second before turning his attention back to the team. “Rossi and I will head to the precinct to talk to the local PD and settle in.”

As soon as the jet landed, you, JJ, and Spencer swiftly made your way to one of the BAU SUVs and drove to the coroner’s office to examine the bodies. You were driving the car, while JJ was in the passenger seat, and Spencer was sitting in the back. You conversed with the other two throughout the entire drive, Spencer spitting his genius facts every now and then.

Once you made it inside, the three of you were greeted by the coroner, who led you to the room where the bodies were laid out. Carefully examining the wounds on the victims, you couldn’t help but notice something intriguing. “They’ve all been stabbed exactly twenty times, each stab in a different part of the body.” You stated, glancing at JJ and Spencer for their input. “This was rage.”

Spencer leaned in, his eyes narrowing with concentration. “The repetitive nature of the stab wounds indicates an intense emotional release, possibly stemming from deep-seated anger or frustration.”

JJ nodded in agreement, her empathy guiding her understanding of the crime scene. “Maybe the unsub had a personal vendetta against the victims, and he was trying to send a message with the way he’s stabbed them.”

Spencer couldn’t help but share one of his characteristic and oddly fascinating facts. “Did you know that throughout history, the number twenty has often been associated with completeness and cycles? It’s interesting that the unsub chose this specific number.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, contemplating the possibility. “Or maybe the number twenty was important to him? It could hold some significance to the unsub, and he chose it to exert control or leave a twisted signature on the victims.”

JJ nodded in agreement, her eyes reflecting the shared curiosity. “It’s definitely not uncommon for unsubs to attach meaning to their actions or rituals. The number twenty might be a representation of something personal or symbolic to him.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up, adding on to you and JJ. “Numerology has been linked to criminal behavior in certain cases. The choice of numbers might reflect the unsub’s belief in its power or its alignment with his twisted motives.”

As you carefully examined the stab wounds on the victims’ lifeless bodies, a particular detail caught your attention. There was an absence of significant bleeding around the wound sites. The wounds appeared uniform in depth and angle, lacking the telltale signs of hemorrhage typically associated with antemortem stabbings.

You turned to the coroner with a furrowed brow. “These stab wounds...they seem different from typical antemortem injuries. Is there any indication that the victims might have been submerged in water before the stabbing?”

The coroner paused, considering your observation. “Well, we did find traces of water in the airways and lungs of all the victims during the autopsies.” The coroner replied. “It’s possible they were drowned before the stabbings occurred.”

“He’s drowning them and then stabbing them?” JJ questioned, her arms crossed against her chest. “What about signs of sexual assault?”

The coroner shook her head. “There were no signs of sexual assault in the report.”

Spencer chimed in, his gaze intense. “It’s possible that this unsub’s violent ritual provides him with a sense of release. The act of drowning the victims may serve as a form of control or domination, followed by the symbolic significance of twenty stabs, and perhaps linked to a personal obsession or fixation.”

You added to Spencer’s insight. “The number twenty might hold significant meaning to him, reinforcing the notion that these killings are deeply personal and methodically planned.”

JJ looked troubled, contemplating the unsettling pattern before you. “If he’s targeting the victims like this, he might have a connection to them. Something in their past could be triggering this cycle of violence.”

You nodded your head, your gaze remaining fixated on the lifeless forms. “Let’s head back and meet with the others.”

The three of you met up with the rest of the team at the precinct, where you all gathered around the crime board, sharing your findings and insights from the investigations. As each detail was added to the board, the case started to take shape, revealing disturbing connections and patterns.

Throughout the meeting, you couldn’t help but sense Aaron’s occasional glances in your direction. Part of you hoped he would approach you and start a conversation, maybe even attempt to mend what was broken between you both. Yet, another part of you felt a tinge of relief that he hadn’t approached you, as facing him would only reopen the wounds that were still raw.

It had only been a week since the painful breakup, and you found yourself torn between wanting to be understood and yearning for his apologies, and the need to protect yourself from further heartache. The longing for him to realize his mistakes, coupled with the desire to put the pieces of your life back together, weighed heavily on your emotions.

You also couldn’t help but miss Jack dearly. Saying goodbye to him before you left had been one of the hardest moments, knowing that he couldn’t fully comprehend the reasons behind your departure. The memories of the mornings you spent with him, preparing breakfast and engaging in playful moments, tugged at your heartstrings. You had cherished those moments, but you knew that staying in an emotionally draining situation wouldn’t be fair to either of you.

At the end of the day, exhaustion weighed heavily on the entire team, the toll of the stressful investigation demanding a much-needed rest. However, they were confident in the amount of evidence gathered, giving them a solid foundation to construct a profile when they regrouped.

Reaching the hotel, the team bid each other farewell, knowing they’d reconvene in the morning to continue the investigation. You let out a weary sigh as you entered your room, eager to collapse onto your bed. Shutting the door behind you, you finally allowed yourself a moment of peace. Without delay, you made your way to the bathroom, seeking to refresh yourself after the intense day.

Emerging from the shower, you felt more relaxed. After brushing your teeth, you slipped into comfortable sleepwear, embracing the coziness that enveloped you.

As you were about to settle into your bed, there was a knock on your door. Confusion washed over you, wondering who could be visiting at this hour. Walking cautiously to the door, you peered through the peephole and let out a soft sigh upon recognizing Aaron’s familiar face.

You opened the door, raising an eyebrow, giving him the signal to speak. His nervous demeanor was uncharacteristic of the stoic Aaron Hotchner, who rarely showed any signs of anxiety.

“Can I come in?” He asked, and a part of you wanted to roll your eyes at his request, but you held back your emotions. Suppressing a disgruntled noise, you opened the door wider, allowing him to enter your room.

Aaron wasted no time, quickly stepping inside as if he feared you might change your mind and shut the door on him. His uneasiness was palpable, and you couldn’t help but wonder what had driven him to seek you out in this vulnerable state.

With the door closed, you faced him, waiting for an explanation as to why he had come to your room at this late hour. “How are you?” He questioned, and you almost scoffed.

“What do you need?” You asked instead, completely ignoring his question.

His heart twinged with pain when he heard your voice, sensing the coldness in your tone, a reflection of the hurt he had caused. Taking a deep breath, he gathered his courage, determined to make things right. “I wanted to apologize for everything. I hated how things ended between us, and if I could turn back time, I would do so in a heartbeat just so I wouldn’t be the one who broke your heart.”

Your arms were crossed protectively over your chest, and he could see the struggle behind your eyes as you fought back tears. The mere week of separation had been agonizing, making him yearn for your presence more than ever. He longed to hold you in his arms again, to kiss you like they had for the past four years. But he understood that he couldn’t expect you to forgive him so easily.

“Jack misses you.” He continued, his voice laced with regret. “He asks for you every day, wondering if you’ll come back. It breaks my heart each time he does.” Your heart ached for the little boy, whom you had grown to cherish as your own. “And I miss you too, more than I can put into words. I’m willing to do anything and everything to fix things.”

Your gaze locked with his, and he saw the emotions swirling within you. “Aaron, I don’t know.” You began, and he felt his heart drop, fearing your answer. “How do I know you won’t do the same thing again? You’re only saying this because you realized what you had after you lost me.”

He shook his head, almost reaching for your hands but stopping himself, respecting the space you needed. “No, that’s not true. I’ve always loved you, Y/N. Yes, I was an absolute idiot, but I’m not just saying this because I realized what I had after I lost you. You mean the world to me, and I love you. If you just let me show you that I won’t make the same mistake ever again. I want everyone to know you’re mine, and it was never my intention to hide you away. I love you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.” His voice was filled with sincerity, pleading for another chance to prove his love and commitment to you.

You bit your bottom lip, trying to think of what to say. “Aaron, I think I need some time.” You said, truthfully. “I just need some space to figure out what I truly want. Throughout all these years, I’ve longed for you to prioritize us, but it never happened. Maybe I was too naive to believe it ever would.” Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes, avoiding the pained look on his face. “I love you, too, but I can’t ignore the fact that I wanted you to put me first, instead of this job, and to consider a future together. I wanted to get married, but I don’t think you felt the same.”

He was about to say something, but you held up a finger, needing to continue.

“Honestly, I probably wouldn’t marry myself either.” You confessed softly. “I’ve spent so much time trying to please everyone, especially you. It’s been exhausting, trying to be the perfect girlfriend or even a future wife, when it felt like I was the only one making an effort. I sent you countless signals, hoping you’d notice, but it seemed like you didn’t want to acknowledge the cracks in our relationship.”

You let out a deep breath, relieved to have finally expressed your thoughts that had been brewing for months. Opening your eyes, you looked at Aaron, and his broken appearance tugged at your heartstrings. You longed to turn his frown into a smile, to fix everything, but you knew it wasn’t that simple.

“You’re wrong.” He finally spoke, his voice cracking with emotion. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, listening intently. “Of course I wanted to marry you.” He continued, his eyes searching yours for understanding. “But I was just too scared.”

“Scared of what?” You asked softly, urging him to open up.

“Of losing you, though it seems like I already did.” He said, a sad chuckle escaping his lips that didn’t reach his eyes. “After Haley, I never thought I would be capable of falling in love again. I had built walls around my heart, convinced it was safer that way. But then you were always there for me and I let myself fall for you, and it scared me.” He paused, gathering his thoughts, and continued. “I couldn’t bear the thought of putting you in danger because of this job, just like I did with Haley and Jack. I blamed myself for her death, and I didn’t want history to repeat itself. That’s why I kept our relationship hidden. I was afraid it would expose you to unnecessary risks.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to his heartfelt confession. “Aaron.” You said, your voice filled with empathy. “You didn’t have to carry all that burden alone. We could have faced it together.”

He nodded, his eyes filled with remorse. “I know, and I should have trusted us more. But my fear consumed me, and I made a terrible mistake by pushing you away.”

You walked closer and reached out to gently touch his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. “I understand why you did what you did, but it hurt to be kept in the dark. We could have faced those fears together as a team, just like we always do in these cases.”

“I know, and I wish I had the strength to open up to you sooner.” He whispered, leaning into your touch. “I’m so sorry.”

You leaned your forehead against his, savoring the closeness between you. Bringing your free hand to touch his other cheek, you felt his arms wrap around your waist, drawing you even closer to him. “This could have gone so differently if you had opened up to me, Aaron.” You whispered, looking into his eyes with sincerity. “But I still think we need some time apart. Just for a little bit.”

He closed his eyes, absorbing your words, and then nodded his head. “I know, and if that’s what you want, then I won’t oppose it.”

“Okay.” You whispered back, feeling a mix of sadness and hope in your heart. He stepped back, giving you a soft smile, before he turned to walk towards the door. “Wait.” You called out, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around, and without hesitation, you gently cupped his face in your hands and leaned up to kiss him on the lips. It was a tender, lingering kiss, full of unspoken emotions. He held onto your hands, cherishing the brief moments of the kiss, until you finally let go. “Goodnight.” You murmured, your voice tinged with both affection and uncertainty.

He looked dazed, as if he were in some sort of dream, processing the intensity of the moment. He tried his best to speak, finally managing a quiet “Goodnight” before he turned and left your room.

The next day, the team gathered at the precinct, ready to delve into the evidence with fresh eyes after sleeping. However, it was a restless night for both you and Aaron. Sleep seemed elusive as you tossed and turned, your mind consumed with thoughts of everything Aaron had said. Meanwhile, Aaron found himself replaying the kiss you shared before he left, and he couldn’t shake the weight of your words and emotions regarding your relationship and his actions.

After a few hours of relentless effort, Penelope’s expertise paid off, and she managed to uncover a name and address for the unsub. Putting on your bulletproof vests, the team raced to the SUVs, determined to catch the dangerous individual before he could harm anyone else.

Arriving at the address, you were met with an empty house. The unsub was nowhere to be seen, so you scanned the surroundings for any possible clues. Aaron spoke up, his voice firm. “We need to find any leads, any hints on where he might keep his victims.”

The team split up, meticulously combing through the scene, searching for any shred of evidence that could provide a much-needed breakthrough. The tension was palpable, knowing that every moment counted in preventing further tragedy.

As you examined the area, some of the photos on the wall caught your eye. The pictures consisted of different landscapes, however, when you looked more closely, the pictures seemed to be connected despite it being in separate frames. You called the team over and examined the photos, sending them over to Penelope to help find the location.

Penelope’s voice came through on the comms, her excitement evident. “Guys, I think I’ve found something. The pictures seem to be at a park near the house! I’m sending you the address now!”

As soon as you got the address, you raced out of the house and back into the waiting SUVs, speeding towards the destination. Upon arriving at the location, you split into groups. You, Elle, and Emily formed a team, eyes fixed on the abandoned warehouse nearby. Silently, you pointed towards the building, an unspoken agreement passing between you. You slowly and quietly walked, guns at the ready as you approached the structure.

You skillfully maneuvered around the back, while Elle and Emily advanced with their guns and flashlight inside, searching the shadows for any traces of the unsub. As you searched the back and began to think it was clear, you suddenly felt a forceful grip clamp over your mouth, muffling any sound you might have made. Before you could react, a sharp impact hit your head, sending you reeling into temporary darkness.

As you gradually regained consciousness, your surroundings came into focus, and panic washed over you at the sight of the unsub standing before you. Fear pulsed through your veins as you realized you were weaponless and vulnerable. His sinister laughter sent shivers down your spine, and you knew you had to act fast.

His sadistic grin filled you with dread as he taunted you, relishing the power he held over you. Every instinct urged you to escape, but he had already restrained you with a cruel grip, leaving you little room to maneuver. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you desperately scanned your surroundings for any possible means of escape.

As terror surged through your veins, you realized you were next to a lake. The sight of its dark waters filled you with dread, as you knew the unsub intended to use it against you. With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you drew upon every ounce of strength you possessed, mustering a deafening scream in hopes that your team would hear you.

But the unsub was swift as well. Before you could make a move, he forcefully plunged you into the icy water. The coldness was shocking, stealing your breath away as he held you submerged. Panic surged through you as you fought against his unyielding grasp, struggling to resurface for air.

Despite your efforts, he held you down, with no chance of escape. Each time you managed to rise, gasping for breath, he mercilessly forced you back into the depths, determined to drown you just like all the other victims.

As darkness threatened to consume you, your mind raced with thoughts of your team. You wondered if they were close, if they could hear your cries for help, and if they would find you in time. You didn’t even know if they were nearby or if the unsub took you to a different location while you were knocked out. The uncertainty only deepened your desperation, as you clung to the hope that rescue was on its way.

As you struggled to hold on, your strength waned, and you found yourself slipping away, succumbing to the relentless pressure of the unsub’s grip. Helplessly, you surrendered to the suffocating darkness that surrounded you. That’s when a sudden, deafening gunshot pierced the air, tearing through the silence.

In the blink of an eye, the unsub’s hold on you loosened, and you were released from his grasp. He tumbled into the water, gone with a well-aimed bullet through his head. Aaron dropped his gun and leaped into the water without hesitation, desperately reaching for your lifeless form before it could go any deeper.

Emerging from the water’s grasp, Aaron clutched you tightly in his arms as the rest of the team rushed to assist. His heart raced with panic, his mind consumed by the fear of losing you. You were unresponsive, your eyes closed, and the once rhythmic rise and fall of your chest had ceased. Time seemed to stand still as he began chest compressions and performed CPR, his every action fueled by a desperation to revive you.

He had tears streaming down his face and his voice trembled with emotion as he begged you to fight, to come back to him. He refused to accept that this could be the end, that he might lose the person he loved with his entire heart once again. The rest of the team looked on, their hearts heavy with concern, but also filled with hope as they witnessed Aaron’s efforts to bring you back.

Derek kneeled beside Aaron, gripping his shoulders with urgency as he tried to intervene. “Hotch! Stop! Let someone else take over!” He yelled, attempting to divert his attention.

But Aaron was relentless, his focus solely on you. He brushed Derek’s hands aside, determination etched across his face. “I won’t stop until she’s awake.” He declared, resuming his life-saving efforts without a second thought. With every ounce of strength he possessed, he continued to administer CPR.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you coughed and sputtered, water escaping from your lungs. Gasping for air, you struggled to find your breath. Aaron’s arms enveloped you in a tight embrace, holding you close as you fought to regain your composure.

“Oh, thank God.” Emily breathed, her hand pressed against her chest, relief washing over her after the initial fear.

Aaron released his hold on you, and Derek immediately enveloped you in a tight embrace. “Babygirl, you scared all of us.” He murmured, still feeling shaken by the close call. Elle, not one to be left out, quickly shoved Derek away and hugged you with genuine concern.

“We should’ve never let you go out there by yourself.” Elle expressed, feeling guilty that they had split up. “I’m so sorry.”

Emily, kneeling beside you, placed a reassuring hand on your back. “We should’ve gone together.”

You shook your head, offering a small smile to your caring teammates. “Stop blaming yourselves. It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known what would happen. At least I’m okay now.”

“Yeah, but you were dead for a few minutes.” Emily retorted with a scoff, still grappling with the shock of the situation.

You understood their concern, but you also knew that in their line of work, these moments were unfortunately part of the job. You reassured them. “I’m alright now, thanks to all of you.” And Aaron. You thought. You locked eyes with him, offering a reassuring smile. Though he didn’t return the smile, the glint in his eyes spoke volumes, telling you how grateful he was that you were still alive.

The EMT’s thoroughly checked you over, ensuring there were no other injuries, and concluded that you were fine. You sat at the back of the ambulance, swinging your legs back and forth, absently touching the bandage on your forehead where the unsub had hit you.

As you looked around, you saw the scene filled with law enforcement personnel. The unsub’s lifeless body was being carried away on a gurney, wrapped in a white sheet. A mix of relief and anger washed over you. Relief that he could no longer harm anyone else, and anger that he had taken the easy way out, escaping true justice.

Turning to your right, you noticed Aaron glancing back at you from time to time. Summoning some courage, you raised a hand and waved at him. This time, he smiled. A small yet genuine gesture that warmed your heart. Derek, ever the observant one, caught the interaction and couldn’t help but smirk. Playfully, he nudged Aaron on the shoulder, urging him to talk to you. Aaron, true to his stoic self, gave Derek a brief glare, which only made Derek raise his hands in surrender, laughing as he watched his boss walk away.

Aaron’s voice softened as he spoke, genuine concern in his eyes. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

You smiled, appreciating his caring nature. “I’m fine, Aaron.” Patting the spot next to you, you invited him to sit, and he obliged. Turning to face him, you brought your legs up to your chest. “Thank you for saving me.”

He shook his head, gazing up at the sky. “Don’t thank me. I’m just grateful that you’re alive.” His eyes met yours, and you could see the tears welling up. “I should’ve been there to protect you. I shouldn’t have let you go by yourself.”

You reached out to touch his cheek, trying to console him. “It’s not your fault, Aaron. I made the choice to check the back alone while Elle and Emily went inside. The blame lies solely on the unsub. Please, don’t carry that burden on yourself.” As he attempted to hold your hand, you pulled away slightly, causing his heart to ache. You were aware of your team’s eyes on you and didn’t want to fuel any rumors.

“Sorry, they might see us.” You explained.

He scoffed, refusing to let go of your hands. “I don’t care if they see us. It would be a miracle if they didn’t suspect anything. I was going insane while trying to save your life.”

“Aaron–”

“I want everyone to know about us. I don’t care anymore. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe, but I will not let you go. You mean everything to me, and I’m sorry for everything.” His voice trembled with emotion. “Seeing you out there, not breathing, holding your lifeless body in my arms...I swear I didn’t know what I was going to do if you were gone. I love you, Y/N. And I will love you until the day I die.”

At his heartfelt words, you couldn’t contain yourself any longer. You pressed your lips firmly against his, cupping his face with your hands. He held onto your hands, responding with passion and intensity. The week had been long and stressful, but with Aaron finally admitting he didn’t care who saw you together, you embraced the moment, cherishing the love you shared with the man you couldn’t imagine living without.

You pulled away slightly, looking deeply into his eyes. “I love you too.”

“Marry me.” Aaron said, his voice filled with sincerity.

The shock registered on your face, mouth agape. “What?” You asked, your heart pounding.

“Okay, this wasn’t the way I planned on proposing to you, but I couldn’t wait anymore.” He chuckled, leaning his forehead against yours. “Will you marry me?”

You raised an eyebrow, playfully teasing. “I don’t see a ring anywhere.”

He rolled his eyes, a soft smile on his lips. “The ring’s hidden in my desk drawer at the office. I was waiting for the right time to propose, but I can’t wait any longer.”

Your eyes softened, and your heart warmed at his sweet gesture. “You bought a ring?”

Aaron nodded, gently kissing your hands. “I told you, I wanted to marry you. I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away, trying to contain your emotions. “Yes, Aaron Hotchner. I will marry you.” You said, a mixture of excitement and love in your voice.

He grinned, relief and happiness evident in his expression. “You will?” He whispered.

“Yes, a million times yes.” You replied, your heart soaring at the prospect of spending your life with the man you loved.

With that, Aaron pulled you into a tight embrace, his lips meeting yours in a passionate and loving kiss. The world around you faded away, and all that mattered was the promise of a future together, as partners in both love and life.

“Did you guys really think we didn’t know you two were together all this time?” Rossi questioned, a playful glint in his eyes as the team sat together on the jet, heading home after a successful case. “We aren’t profilers for nothing.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, trying to focus on the paperwork spread out on the table. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the lighthearted teasing. Finally feeling content in your life, you leaned back in your seat, feeling the warmth of Aaron’s presence beside you.

“It’s true.” Spencer chimed in with a smile. “We always knew you two were dating, but we didn’t say anything because you thought we didn’t know. It’s pretty funny, considering all the looks you give each other when–”

“Reid.” Aaron interrupted, cutting off the young genius before he could go further. The team stifled a laugh as Spencer mumbled out a quick “Sorry,” a sheepish smile on his face, and returned to his book.

JJ grinned mischievously. “Oh, come on, Hotch. We’ve seen the way you look at Y/N, and the way Y/N looks back.”

Elle nodded, adding her own insight. “Yeah, it was kind of adorable watching you two try to keep it a secret.”

You exchanged a knowing glance with Aaron, feeling a mix of amusement and affection. “Well, I guess we weren’t as subtle as we thought.” You admitted, a smile tugging at your lips.

His lips threatened to curl up into a smile, and you noticed it, playfully bumping your shoulders against his. He tried to maintain his composure, looking away and focusing his attention back on the paperwork, but his mind seemed to betray him as a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

You couldn’t help but feel a surge of happiness at seeing that smile, knowing that you were the one who could bring it out in him. He was the tough and stoic leader to everyone else, but with you, he allowed himself to be vulnerable and open.

The rest of the team had amused grins on their faces, watching the two of you with knowing looks. Their usual boss, who rarely showed any emotion, appeared so content and happy whenever you were around. It was a sight they cherished, seeing the man they respected and admired, smile genuinely because of you.

As the night grew on, everyone on the jet was asleep, but you and Aaron were still awake. You laid your head on Aaron’s shoulder, your hand clasped with one of his, as he continued looking through the paperwork. It was a habit for him to bury himself in work, even during quiet moments like this.

You gently nudged the papers away, and he raised an eyebrow at you. “Stop, you need to sleep.”

“You need to sleep, too.” He whispered, his lips pressing against the top of your head in a tender gesture.

You sighed softly, giving him a determined look. “Okay, but you have to stop this. You can look at these when we get back, but for now, you need rest.”

A playful grin spread across his face, and he leaned forward to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. “Anything for you.”

You gladly kissed him back, feeling a rush of warmth and love for this man. His dedication to his job and his team was commendable, but you also wanted him to take care of himself. He deserved rest and peace, especially after the intense case and the events of the day.

You settled into a comfortable position, still holding each other’s hands, and let the gentle hum of the jet lull you both to sleep. In each other’s arms, you felt a sense of comfort that reassured you, everything had a way of falling into place as it was meant to be.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner angst #criminal minds #criminal minds oneshot #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner fanfiction #angst #fluff #oneshot #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x female reader

[tearsofmydeadhorse]

how I think different members of the chain would sneeze because I’ve fully lost my mind

wild:

before the calamity, he was one of those people who suppress their sneezes, mainly so that he could stay silent. anyone who saw him sneeze would hear a small sound and see him violently jerk with the force of the sneeze, and that was just it.

post-calamity, though, he fully embraces his loud sneezing. rumor has it his sneeze is louder than the roar of a lynel, and flora once joked that he could defeat ganon by the sheer force of it. the chain hates it. every single one of them is put on edge by loud noises, so every time wild sneezes all eight of them have a flash of panic as they all reach for their weapons before they realize, ah. everything is fine. wild just got some dust in his nose.

they all hate it, but they don’t try and tell him to be quiet. he’s an unstoppable force that will not be silenced again

wind:

he screams “ACHOO” with every sneeze. he’s competing with wild to see who can do it the loudest, but so far wild’s still winning. wind’s isn’t a scary as wild’s is, because while wild’s is sudden and ear-shattering, everybody within a ten mile radius knows when wind’s about to sneeze because of the fact he goes “ah-ah-ah—ACHOOO” every time it happens. he does it on purpose because he thinks it’s funny, and is currently running in first place on the Most Obnoxious Sneeze list. he takes pride in his position.

time:

time is third on the Most Obnoxious Sneeze list, after wild and wind. he’s got one of those loud dad sneezes, and every time it happens he groans as if he’s shattered all his bones and says something along the lines of, “that was a doozy.” if he sneezes multiple times in one day he’ll start counting them, and every time he goes, “unbelievable. fourth sneeze of the day!” there are multiple groans from the chain. everyone thinks that’s just How He Is, but in reality he’s just being a little shit and takes great amusement in the fact they all think he’s some old man.

when they get to time’s hyrule, malon plays along, acting as if it’s just time’s old age catching up to him. in private, however, the both of them are in hysterics at how seriously the entire chain believes it all. they’re both little shits. will the chain ever know?

four:

he’s one of those people who sneezes about fifty times in one breath. the number of tiny, quick sneezes depends, but they’re always in intervals of four. sometimes it’s four sneezes at once. sometimes it’s eight. sometimes it’s sixteen. the chain’s impressed and a little concerned, and at one point legend makes a comment about how it sounds like he’s multiple people sneezing at once. four just laughs it off (perhaps a little too hard?).

legend:

bunny sneeze. that’s all. he’s got the tiniest, and quite honestly the cutest sneeze out of all of the chain. for the longest time he tried to hide it, because he knew exactly how they’d all react, but alas, one day it was a little too dusty in one of hyrule’s caves, and it had to happen eventually.

obviously the entire chain had to comment about it (read: make fun), and it only stopped when legend’s face became as pink as his hair. wind made some comment about how he was grateful legend wasn’t an annoying sneezer like the trio currently battling for the title of Most Obnoxious Sneeze, which resulted in a large argument about who was truly worthy for the title, which changed the topic quickly.

and if there are still a couple of muffled laughs every time legend sneezes, he guesses it is kind of funny. but only kind of.

sky:

he legitimately just sounds like he’s coughing. wheezing, even. nobody knows whether or not to say “bless you,” because they don’t know if he’s sneezed or if he’s just got something in his throat. sky thinks it’s funny and will say “no ‘bless you’?” after he coughs sometimes, just to be a little shit and confuse them. they all hate it, because how are they supposed to be polite if sky calls every sneeze a cough and every cough a sneeze?! sky thrives off of their distress. he is the original link, after all—where do you think the others got it from?

hyrule:

they have never heard him sneeze once in his life. he’s so incredibly quiet with it that everyone thoroughly believes he just can’t sneeze. maybe it’s a fairy thing, who knows, they don’t want to be rude! in reality he just needs to be quiet to survive in his hyrule, so his sneezes are a lot less earth-shaking then some of his brothers’ sneezes (hint, hint). still, he doesn’t correct their assumptions. they can handle a little mystery solving, can’t they? plus, he’s a little curious to see how long it will take for them to find out the truth. and seeing them tiptoe around it is a little amusing, too. maybe he’ll even start giving them false clues—would they believe him if he said that fairies didn’t breathe through their noses? that fairies don’t sneeze because they use their wings to breathe?

yes. every link is a little shit, in case you couldn’t tell. hyrule is no exception.

twilight:

sneezes like a dog. sometimes it just sounds like he’s hacking. his head shakes like a dog’s when he sneezes, too, and he is 100% made fun of for it. “did the ghost of that wolf pelt possess you, rancher?” “been spending too much time around wolfie?” post-wolfie reveal it makes a lot more sense to the chain, but pre-wolfie reveal it’s the funniest thing ever. he’ll sneeze when something’s too strong-smelling or at random moments when sneezing really doesn’t make any sense, and he’s been given the title of “awkward sneezer” because it always happens at the worst time. it’s happened mid-battle before—but really, who can blame him? wild’s bokoblins were putting WAY too much seasoning on their food!

warriors:

his sneeze is normal. too normal. so remarkably normal that the rest of the chain are determined to find out how he does it. what does he mean, that’s just how his sneeze has always been? it isn’t too loud? too quiet? too canine or feline or any other type of -ine? is he really sure he’s a link, if his sneeze doesn’t sound like something even ganon would fear? he has a sneeze, it’s just so…basic.

warriors just shrugs and says that maybe he’s the only normal one among them. out of all nine, maybe he’s the only sane one. the chain knows this isn’t true.

what they don’t know, however, is that warriors is a master of deception, and that he goes to sleep at night with a smile on his face at the knowledge that the chain will never, ever know his secret…

his sneeze is louder than wild’s.

#truly did not know what to do for warriors until I thought it would be so funny if the true Most Obnoxious Sneezer was him all along 😭 #yes I have put lots of thought into these things. why? I’m bored 99% of the time I need to entertain myself somehow #I haven’t played all the zelda games but I do have opinions on all of the links’ sneezes #is that weird? #maybe but I’m free #linked universe #headcanons #lu sky #lu wild #lu flora #Lu twilight #lu chain #lu time #lu hyrule #lu wind #lu legend #lu warriors #lu four #linkeduniverse #linkeduniverse wild

[fatuismooches]

Hello

I just saw your post with the fragile SO and honestly I loved it sooo much ❤️

Now I wanted to request kinda of a follow up. Like what if before you died you wrote them a letter, saying how much you love them and how they made your last days on earth so memorable and stuff like that. And they found it, like maybe a month or so after your death. How would they all react? (I'm specially curious of Capitano because you said you thought he would think that he killed you 😭)

I really love your writing and I plan to make more request in the future 👋

-🦎

♡𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐞/𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐝 ♡

synopsis: The Harbingers are made of steel, unflinching in any possible situation. But it seems that even such strong beings falter in the face of their lover's death, especially after they find a letter you left behind. Can be read as a part 2 to this.

includes: all harbingers (platonic pulcinella) w/ gn! reader

notes: Hop on the angst train, everyone. This is the first completely angsty thing I've written, and probably one of my favorites + longest pieces. I hope you enjoy this sadness, anon...!

Pierro:

Pierro carried on. He went about his day, filing paperwork, assigning duties to new recruits. What could he do? There was no time to mourn. The entire Fatui depended on his guidance and orders. He couldn’t just drop everything to fully devote himself to grieving you. But everyone knew - in any spare moment he had, he was thinking about you. Thinking about how he used to be able to go home to you waiting for him. Thinking about the walks he took with you that were heartwarming despite the body-chilling temperature. Thinking about when you were alive.

It was another day when one of your maids came to him with a piece of paper. Of course, she was terrified at being in the presence of the Harbinger, but she presented a folded piece of paper to him, stating that she had found it while cleaning your room. Pierro hadn’t been in there for a while. He was consciously trying his best to avoid it, choosing to pick up work instead. He nodded and the maid quickly scurried out of the room. It was most likely a final memento from you. He should honor that, he thought as he took off his mask.

Dear Pierro,

Hello there, my love. I hope your day wasn’t too tiring. I know how you’re always swamped with your Fatui business and such. You’re the head Harbinger, you know! You should definitely abuse your power to get some more days off. You didn’t hear that from me though, not like I wanna keep you to myself or anything. Totally not because I’m dying to spend some more time with you before I quite literally die. 

You know, sometimes I wish I was a Fatui soldier just so that I could admire you from afar some more. Those recruits are damn lucky, getting to see you more than I do. I don’t mean to complain though. I’m still tremendously grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I’ve had the pleasure of enjoying the best moments of my life with you. Yeah, even when I made jokes you still had that stoic look on your face but it was still hilarious. I loved when you would wrap me in your coat and tell me stories about Khaenri’ah. Even when you weren’t here, I loved when these random recruits would be scurrying to my room every so often to deliver your handwritten notes. 

Truly, there’s no life I’d rather live than this one… minus the illness part though. I am sorry to make you shoulder another death, my dear, but I love you greatly. I will always be with you.

Quietly, Pierro put the paper down and rubbed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Ever since the fall of his nation, his heart had long gone numb. He had tried to ignore the prickling of his heart after your death, but your letter was really rubbing it on. When was the last time mere words could stir up such emotion in him? He didn’t know. But he promised you, this would not be your final resting place. Pierro knew, after fulfilling the Tsaritsa’s promise, he would see you again.

Capitano:

Capitano wasn’t very photogenic. After all, all you saw was a helmet shrouding his face in darkness along with his pitch-black armor and clothes. But you had insisted on taking a variety of pictures with him, claiming that it kept you happy. It wasn’t until later on when he stumbled across a scrapbook, with pages covered in photos of the two of you together, that he understood why. Since then, he let you do as you please. The doctors said it was good for you to keep occupied by doing things you liked. And well, it was rather cute, with all the decorations and fancy tape you added. Capitano often found himself looking at it to see what you added when you weren’t around.

But ever since your death, he hadn’t looked at it since. If he did, he didn’t think he’d be able to control the emotions boiling up inside of him. If he looked at your smiling face again, the pain and regret would be too much to bear. But as the days passed by and he continued to think about you, he couldn’t help but flip open the scrapbook, revisiting the memories he made with you so long ago. He flipped until he found a envelope in the middle, causing him to perk up. It had been sealed perfectly, even stamped with one of his seals. Now, Capitano didn’t want to invade your privacy, but what was inside called to him too much, and he very carefully unsealed it with a knife. Inside was a piece of parchment, similar to the ones he used to send you letters.

My knight,

I’m writing this after you just left for an expedition. You’ve just fed me breakfast (a/d fa//ed, but it’s f/ne b/ca/se it w/s c/te.) (The ending part of the sentence has been erased, but it’s still a bit readable.) We took an early bath together, and you helped me choose a nice outfit for today. You dutifully assisted me with my medicine and tucked me back into bed for some rest. Lastly, you’ve just tenderly kissed me with all the love in the world, my favorite part of course.

It’s too bad that I won’t be able to receive any more of your kisses soon. I think the sickness is really catching up to me, haha. (There are some doodles of the two of you randomly drawn in the middle of the paper, with lots of hearts and stars and rainbows. Maybe you stopped because you didn’t know how to continue.) To be honest, I’ve asked the doctors not to tell you, and somehow, they’ve listened to me. I just don’t want you to worry about me. Somehow, for someone as menacingly looking as you, you worry a lot more than I thought (no offense, though.)

I don’t want you to blame yourself for anything, my love. You genuinely made my life so, so much better. Even towards the end, I can only feel happiness that I was able to share some of my life with someone so incredible. You aren’t a monster. You’re the man I love dearly, the one who many people look up to all the time. You did everything and more, which really warms my heart.

I’m saying this because I know how you are and I need to knock some sense into you before you start getting any crazy ideas. Please don’t beat yourself up. If I could choose my destiny, I’d rather choose to be sick and be with you rather than being healthy. I’d choose you again and again, over and over, my dear. I love you, truly.

Carefully folding the letter, he tucked it into the envelope again and resealed it. He snugly placed it back into the scrapbook and closed it, placing it back into the drawer where he usually kept it. Capitano was used to the grief and destruction that war brought. But he wasn’t used to it when love brought these feelings upon him. His heart still hurt - terribly so - but… your letter seems to have brought him some peace. You would forever be in his heart.

Columbina:

It had been a while since your death. By now, everyone had become accustomed to hearing her songs every day. It was a constant reminder of your passing. Oftentimes,  Columbina had begun to stay in your room longer than her own. You were gone, but something about your space soothed her soul a bit from all the grief she was going through. And she also liked to go through your stuff and remember different things about you.

There was a box that contained a compilation of the many songs and poems she gifted you, along with some that you created yourself with her help. Sometimes, she liked to go through the box and think about you, but she never had the time to inspect every piece. Until now, when she noticed that there was an unfamiliar piece of paper that she didn’t recognize. Columbina picked it up and began to read.

My lovely melody,

Lately, I’ve begun to sing more. I think you’ve inspired me. I hope you don’t mind me stealing that one song you like to hum the most. The only problem is that I don’t have enough stamina to sing for that long, and I think my voice is kind of off-key. But I promise I’m working on it! I’m not going to tell you yet because I want to surprise you with something nice, as a thank you for taking care of me for so long.

Actually, there’s another problem, and it’s that… (it seems that you wrote a lot of words here and then scratched them out; perhaps you were unsure how to word it) Well, I guess I don’t really know if I’ll live long enough to perform for you. It’s been kind of tough lately. But I’m going to persevere for you. Your poems have been helping a lot. We should make a book of them one day. And um, in the case that I don’t make it, I would like you to know how happy you made me.

I always got so giddy when I heard you humming down the hallway. Nothing felt better than when you would croon to me and massage my scalp and play with my hair. You are so comforting and sweet, and just - lots of things that would be too much to write. I always feel eternally fortunate that I was able to have a lover as amazing as you. You really did change my life. I love you very much, Columbina. Please don’t forget me.

Columbina’s usual smile had turned into a downward curve. Oh, how she wished she could hear you sing. Your usual voice and laugh had already been angelic to her, she knew your songs would be beautiful too. But you were no longer here. She would have really loved to hear your song. You would have been the best duet partner. But perhaps, you could hear her songs from the other world as she laid on your coffin once again.

Dottore:

Dottore hadn’t entered your room since your death. He was far too busy with his research and experimentation with resurrection. Mourn you? No, no, you weren’t going to be dead for long, after he finds the answer. You would be back in his arms soon enough. Both of you would be fine. That was, until no matter how hard he researched, he always seemed to hit a dead end. It was frustrating. He couldn’t believe it, but he was at the point where he willingly needed a couple of minutes to rest. Dottore headed to his room, but as he placed his hand on the doorknob, something stopped him and he looked over to the room next to his, yours. He silently walked over and opened your room, having not been in it for a while. The only reason you didn’t share a room was that his was very… bland, boring, not very comfortable, and not spacious enough for the medical equipment.

It was the same as he had left it, not bothering to change anything. You liked to decorate it, and he let you. Framed photos of the two of you were on the dresser, lights hung up around the room. It seemed to make you happy. But there was something he had not noticed before - a slip of paper sticking out from under the pillow. Dottore walked over and took off his mask - something he unconsciously tended to do when it was just the two of you - and opened the folded paper.

To Zandik,

I remember when you first took interest in me, looking at me up and down with your mask on, a wide smirk on your face. I knew my parents said they hired someone intelligent to cure me, but I sure didn’t expect it to be the second Harbinger. I think you already know this, but when I saw you, I was kinda scared for my life. And I was for a while, especially when you made me drink the most hellish concoctions and injected strange things into me. But long story short, I still fell in love with you somehow. Even though you were probably trying so hard just because you wanted to solve the mystery of my illness, I couldn’t help but think you were quite handsome when you focused on something so intensely. Your pointy teeth were the cutest. (The previous sentence has been erased but Dottore could still make it out. You were an idiot, he thinks.)

I don’t mean to insult your intelligence or skill… but I don’t think I’m going to make it, Dottore. I know you’ve been trying really, really hard (I was there the whole time, after all) to help cure me, but I think you know better than me about my condition. So yeah. I guess this is my goodbye… my parting letter.

I know you don’t care about anyone or anything really, but I hope you accept it when I say I genuinely enjoyed our time together. Yea, you were hella terrifying and a lot of scary stories drifted about you, but there was a lot of maniacal laughter and you rambling on about things I had no clue about, but I would always happily listen to you, Zandik. I would write more, but I don’t think you’re one for sappy words and stuff like that. So I’ll leave end it here. I love you very much.

His mouth was a straight thin line at the end of your letter. Dottore put his mask back on and tucked your letter into his coat. For once, he couldn’t blame someone for insulting his intelligence. He did fail, after all. But Dottore was no stranger to failure. Experimentation was a series of trials and errors, failures and successes. He swore to himself that you would not be a failure. Perhaps his journey to Sumeru, the land of wisdom, would grant him some more insight for your resurrection.

Pulcinella:

It was just after your funeral. Surprisingly, all the Harbingers had gathered too. It seemed like they had grown somewhat fond of you after Pulcinella introduced you to them, at least enough to attend your funeral. Pulcinella was grateful. He had spoken a few words in memory of you. He couldn’t keep everyone for long. They had other matters to attend to. But in his heart, he had a lot of dear words for you. 

Pulcinella sat down at his desk, deciding to do some paperwork to distract his mind. He pulled out the drawer to retrieve some items but he noticed a piece of paper stuffed to the back of it. He certainly had not put that there. He reached for it and opened it to read the contents.

Hey Papanella,

Do you like that nickname I came up with? I haven’t said it to you yet because I’m not sure how you’ll react. But I think it’s pretty cute. I haven’t said this out loud yet either but… um, I guess you’re like my dad to me. My own parents never cared much for me after my illness proved to be too much work, but you always treated me so kindly. So yeah. Thanks for being a father figure to me. Archons, this is kind of embarrassing.

I’m admitting this because I don’t know how much longer I have. I know you’re always encouraging me to keep living on, and I really do appreciate it. I’m sincerely trying my best, but I think my sickness has been getting worse. Ah, and thanks for introducing me to the Harbingers. They’re pretty scary but they’re kind of cool when you get to know them. Some of them are cute too. Please don’t tell them I said that. But really, for the longest time, I thought my life would amount to nothing, and that no one would remember me. But you proved me wrong. I truly enjoyed spending the last of my days doing old people stuff with you (just kidding of course!)

I’m going to ask you to tell me lots of more stories when I see you again. They really make my day. I like the ones about you in your youth the best. They’re the funniest. Anyway, I love you, gramps. Don’t miss me too much.

Pulcinella was old. He had seen things be built and broken down, people come and go. But he always hated it the most when he had to see youngsters go before he did. Especially innocent ones who had done nothing wrong. He just prayed, that whichever world you were in now, treated you better than this one did.

Scaramouche:

Ever since your death, the soldiers had been on the receiving end of Scaramouche’s insults even more. No longer were you here to hastily save them from his berating, much to their dismay.  They actually appreciated you for stopping Scaramouche from giving them another verbal (and sometimes even physical) beating. But now if he wasn’t yelling at someone, he was deathly silent, which was why even scarier than his words. Everyone knew they were forbidden from speaking about you in his presence.

When Scaramouche had to visit Inazuma for whatever reason, he always found himself walking towards your house. Once he had came across the Tenryou Commission moving your items out of your house, due to no one living there anymore and the want for someone else to buy it. Needless to say, he swiftly dealt with them and sent them on their way with rage. They had tried a few more times and he did not hold back, until later they stopped coming, apparently after the head shrine maiden gave an order on the behalf of the Shogun to leave the residence alone. Hmph.

He doesn’t know why he keeps coming here, the only thing that’s different is the new collection of dust on the dresser. But the want to see you again keeps calling him, only to leave Scaramouche sorely disappointed. He thinks he knows every nook and cranny of your house, that is until he walks on a floorboard that caves in and nearly makes him fall. He’s about to lose his temper until he sees a piece of paper hidden under the floor. The words die in his throat as he picks it up to inspect.

To my beloved Kunikuzushi,

As I write this, you’re probably yelling at some unfortunate Fatui soul and they’re all trembling in their boots. Haha, I wish I was there to see that. You should be nicer, you know. But it is kinda funny to see you mad. I hope you come back soon… it’s getting too quiet around here without your quips and remarks.

But I know as you read this, I’m no longer alive. Kuni, I… (There are wrinkled spots around this area, presumably from your tears.)

I love you, and I don’t want rage and hatred to consume you again. I’m sorry to make your heart bear such pain again. It may be fruitless to say this, but please don’t blame yourself… it was out of our control. Please know I enjoyed every moment with you, whether you were cursing at some guy who bumped into me, even when you teased me relentlessly, or silently crying in my arms about your fate. But my favorite part was your soft smiles which grew more frequent. You are loved very much by me too. I want to see you smile more, many more times before I- (The rest of the sentence was scribbled over with a pen, making it unreadable.)

I wish I didn’t have to depart so soon… I wish I was born someone else, someone more strong and healthier… if I was, would our story be different, Kuni? Perhaps we’ll meet again one day… hopefully, sooner rather than later, and maybe I won’t be the same as I am now, but…

Will you wait for me, Kunikuzushi?

Scaramouche hated when he cried. He felt weak, stupid, and disgusting, especially when you were there. And somehow, he couldn’t help but feel worse than that when he finished reading your letter. He was never favored by the Gods, having been betrayed by one already. It seemed as though he was always fated to be betrayed by people he cared about. But he knew deep down that you didn’t betray him, he did instead by not being able to protect and save you. In an effort to bury his despair, anger, and grief, he would wipe himself clean of foolish human emotions, ready to ascend to godhood with his creator’s Gnosis…

Arlecchino:

Arlecchino’s days had been exactly the same ever since your death. They were the same as before she had met you too. Bland. Boring. Dull. It was after your passing that she truly realized how much your presence had added some thrill and color into her life. Now they were empty. But she was used to that. She had felt that way for a long time.

Arlecchino didn’t do much in her room besides sleep. Her room wasn’t anything special, just the standard and rich master bedroom. That was, until you took it upon yourself to decorate it. She hadn’t bothered to change it despite the style being very much different from hers. Today she had come in briefly to retrieve some documents under her bed. But, there was a random piece of paper there, collected dust on top of it, most likely from being placed there a long time ago. Arlecchino opened the folded paper and was greeted with your handwriting.

To my sunshine,

I bet you’re wondering why the hell I chose “sunshine” of all names. Even I can admit that you are nothing like sunshine. But I wanted to spice things up a bit, and to be honest, you bring a lot of sunshine into my heart and dreary little life, despite your stone-cold face. So yeah! I don’t think I can call you that to your face though. It’d be too scary.

I didn’t tell you, but I’ve had some people ask me why I chose to stay with you despite my health being what it is. My answer is always very easy - I love you, Arlecchino. Plain and simple. They don’t know how you are with me (which I’m kinda glad for… I want to keep this side of you to myself; yes, I know I’m greedy.) The way your lips quirk up for a split second then always turn downwards because you don’t want anyone to see. The way your eyes soften for a bit when I tell a corny joke. Or when I do anything actually. Your facial expressions are pretty cute.

Ahem, moving on from that, I guess you can say that I’m not too scared to say these things because I might be leaving you soon. Not of my free will, of course. Rather, it seems like the time my illness is allowing me to live is limited. Hopefully, you don’t notice anything off about me. I don’t think I could explain all of this in person… 

But I am really thankful to you for sticking by my side for so long. Even though you don’t tell me, I know sometimes you lament about your lack of ability to be verbally and affectionately comforting. But I hope you know that I don’t really care about that. You are more than enough for me. You’ve done a lot more than you think. I’m forever appreciative, my dear.

Arlecchino was left speechless, the usual bite in her throat died down. As someone who had few kind words to say to others, having such sweetness directed at her was not something she was used to. But of course, a part of her wasn’t surprised, because the only person who’d utter such things was you. It pained her, and even the children who cried after your death, greatly. But whenever she needed a reminder of you, she would uncharacteristically gently trace her fingertips over the words of your letter.

La Signora:

Everyone knew to stay out of La Signora’s way after your death. She was cruel before, but your passing seemed to reignite all the flames of anguish and hatred she harbored deep inside her broken heart. Once again, her walls had been put up to be unbreakable.

Rosalyne had gifted you a lot of makeup and accessories. She liked to experiment on you and liked it when you tried it yourself too. You had kept everything in a nice big box so nothing would get lost. One day she felt drawn to it again. She knew she was missing you dearly again, and although opening it would just cause her heartache, she couldn’t help but pry it open to see how you kept it. But on top was a hastily folded letter, stained a bit by the surrounding makeup, tucked into a small compartment. She flipped it open and began to scan the contents.

My dearest Rosalyne,

Hello there, pretty lady. You know, that’s the first thing I thought when I saw you. Tall pretty lady. Did you know that? Now you do. Anyway, I was wondering - how many of your flame moths can you create at a time?? Can you make them form a heart or something? 

Haha, I’m sorry for beating around the bush. The truth is I don’t know how much longer I have left. No matter how much warmth your moths provide me, for some reason, I always feel the chill of death creeping up my spine…

I don’t mean to be your second heartbreak. I’m really sorry… you deserve so much better than that. But for what it’s worth, you made my life a lot better than it was before. I hadn’t had much confidence in myself because of my illness for a long time. But you, Rosalyne… you made me feel like an actual person, as strange as that sounds. I feel like, when I’m with you, you make me feel so loved and special. I’m far from it but I actually feel like royalty. And royalty is really a life worth living. I don’t even know how you did it, but thank you. My life is so, so much happier thanks to you.

Hopefully, I make it a lot longer after I’m writing this letter. Maybe the Gods could finally take pity on me and give me some kind of blessing so I can stay with you longer. But if anything happens, I really, truly love you, Rosalyne. (The end of the letter has an origami moth colored in and taped to it.)

Signora’s hand trembled as she finished your letter. Her heart had returned to being ice, but it felt like her whole body was being swallowed up in red-hot grief and anger. Signora would dedicate herself solely to the Tsaritsa’s noble dream. It was the only thing she could do now, with nothing else to do and no one left for her freezing heart to love. No one could ever hope to understand the grief and pain she’s been through. Perhaps, that was why when she stood in front of the Raiden Shogun’s sword, she did not feel much regret.

Pantalone:

Whenever Pantalone went out, he often found himself looking through the windows of many stores to view their products. It was almost an instinct to pull out a large sum of Mora to buy anything he thought you’d like. And he still did this, only that he stopped halfway every time when he remembered that you were no longer with him. And his heart felt painfully heavy once again, like how heavy his smile felt with the pressure to keep it up.

The silence of his office had become a norm once again, your joyful presence no longer around to brighten it up. Pantalone opted to drown himself in paperwork to ignore it. Actually, he never realized how much the tick of the grandfather clock bothered him until now. Usually, your voice was loud enough to hide it. He sighed and reached for the bottom drawer to get some new pens to sign the documents. But his eyes widened as he saw a paper clearly laid out there, addressed to him at the top. His heart beat quickened as he carefully picked it up and realized it was from you. It seemed like you had experimented with some fancy calligraphy pens he had gotten you a while ago. And you had also stolen every stamp you had from him and stamped all over the paper.

Darling,

Hello, my love. Sorry for all the random stamps. I wanted to see what they looked like. Why does the Fatui need so many different-shaped stamps? You should make one of us, actually. And do you see I’ve been practicing my cursive script? (Indeed, on the back on the paper, your name has been signed in different styles.) I’ve been trying to do my signature all fancy like you. Hopefully, I’m improving.

I am thinking to make you read me a bedtime story tonight. I found a new one that seemed pretty cute. It’s a commoner falling in love with a nobleman… a tale of forbidden romance. It seems to go fine, until the commoner s/cc/mbs to (It seems that you scratched off the rest of the sentence.) Actually, I won’t spoil the ending for you. But by the time you read this letter, we may have finished it already. I’m just going to abuse that pretty voice of yours as much as I can (kidding of course… but no joke. Have you tried some kind of service where you just read things to people? I think you’d make a lot of money from that. I sure would give all my life savings to you.)

I guess since I’m writing this, I should say another thing I’m thinking about. I’m not sure how much longer I can hang on. I’m trying my best because I don’t want to let you down. I know you’ve been trying your best, with all these fancy doctors and equipment, but um… yeah. But I should also say that I’m not regretful having spent my time with you. You made the last days of my life so relaxing, so stress-free, so… nice. I’m glad I don’t need to worry about anything with you. Let’s move on from this, actually.

I’m thinking of a lot of things, actually. I wonder what you made the chef prepare for us tonight. Mhm… I’m getting hungry. Will you feed me dessert again too? Hah, I’m going to miss thinking about such mundane things. Hmm, I think I can hear your voice down the hall, so I’ll wrap this up. I love you.

Pantalone gazed at your words forlornly, his mouth formed into a downwards line. He had never thought the loss of something besides Mora could squeeze his heart so painfully, but here you were, making his eyes sting once again. Blinking back any tears, he made sure to store your letter in a safe place. He made a note to visit your grave today. He’d bring your favorite snack too, and read you a story perhaps.

Sandrone:

It was almost ironic - the puppet master had become a puppet herself. She didn’t speak much to others anymore, choosing to lock herself up in her lab. A part of her debated making some kind of robot or doll replica of you. But it would never be the same. She wouldn’t feel your warmth, or your natural, free laugh. Nothing would be similar.

Sandrone had begun inspections on all of her created robots. It was a grueling process she had gotten used to, but she missed the chirping of your voice as she did so. She worked in silence, opening the compartment of one of them when she was caught off guard by a formerly white paper, caked in dust, inside. The only person who had access to her Automatons was you. So could it possibly be…?

My forever,

I’m actually writing this in the same room as you. You're too preoccupied with your robot building and engineering and all that stuff, so you don’t notice me rushing to write all of this. I’ll make this quick. Actually, it’s hard to concentrate when you look so pretty and intelligent. Ahh, I’m so lucky to have you with me.

I think you’re repairing one of your robots so it can lift us up and take us on a walk. I’m excited. Those are always so much fun. I know you aren’t a sappy person. But I want to make my feelings clear, since I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to watch you unscrew some bolts and hammer down the nails. I don’t need to say it outright, do I? We both know I’ve been getting worse. Neither of us wants to say it out loud, but it’s reality.

Before I go, let me make it clear, since I know you like being blunt. You are my everything. Seeing your cute little robots send me these cute little messages really made my day. I think you told me a long time ago that you didn’t care much about human emotions. I think that’s changed now. I love waking up to see that calm and content expression on your face and watching it become a bit more softer when you see me. You’re more human than you think, you know. Some people think that being cooped up in a lab with a Harbinger is not an ideal way to live. But I beg to differ. I would choose no other way to live as long as I’m with you, Sandrone.

I think you’re finished with your tinkering. I’m going to have one of the robots hide this paper in them. I think some of them like me better than you >:) I wonder how long it’ll be until you find it. Hopefully, you don’t find it too quickly because it’ll be awkward to explain this to you. Either way… I love you dearly, Sandrone.

Sandrone gently brushed off the dust on your letter. She wished she found it sooner. She didn’t know whether it was good or bad her heart was finally feeling some emotion again, but she was grateful to have some final parting words from you. Sandrone had a bubble of inspiration float up in her. She had a good idea of what she was going to build next.

Childe:

Childe had found it after he was cleaning out your apartment in Liyue. He wanted to bring all of your stuff to his home in Snezhnaya. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t throw any of your items away, even the random useless trinkets. Childe’s chest felt hollow as he opened the door to your residence. He expected to see your face brighten and eagerly pull yourself out of bed to hug him. He’d easily lift you off the floor and spin you around, drinking in your gleeful giggles as he pressed his lips to yours. But now it was just the creak of the floorboards as he walked in.

Childe had a memory connected to every piece of clothing that you had. That one he gifted to you for your birthday. Another he remembered twirling you around in on a picnic. One of his sweaters that he doesn't remember you stealing from him, mingled with your scent and his. Archons, his chest hurt so badly, but there was nothing he could do as he neatly placed your items in boxes, emptiness consuming him. He was finishing up the packing when a piece of paper folded in half fell out of one of your pants’ pockets. Childe picked it up and his eyes widened when he recognized your handwriting and his real name. Sitting down on your bed, he began to read.

To my one and only Ajax,

My greatest wish is that you’ll never find and read this letter because it means that we’re living our best lives. We’re happy, content, still deeply in love with each other… living in bliss. 

But if you’re reading this, then we probably didn’t go and do all of the cool and exciting things you wanted us to. I didn’t move to Sneznhnaya and I didn’t meet the rest of your family. We didn’t go travel to all the nations like you wanted to…

Heh, that’s too bad. I was really looking forward to seeing the same sights you saw on your travels. The pretty bloom of Inazuma’s sakura trees, the beautiful snow-covered streets of Snezhnaya. Remember that time you asked me if I wanted to conquer the world with you? Of course, since I can’t ever say no to you, I accepted your proposition. But in my head, I couldn’t help but think that you should probably choose someone who can match your ability and someone who is act/a/ly g/i/g to b/ ali/e. (The previous words have been haphazardly erased, making it hard to make out.)

You know I… (The ink here has bled through the paper, most likely due to you stopping there for a good while.) I don’t even know what to say, I’m just sorry. I don’t wanna leave you, I wanna be by your side forever, wanna be attacked by your cuddles every day. But the only thing I can do now is to make sure you understand that I’m truly grateful for you. No one else has ever cared about me as much as you did. You never stopped believing in me and always smiled when I needed you. You made my feeble life worth living.

Please don’t be sad. Teucer and the rest of your siblings need you. I love you so very much…

He didn’t realize how hard he was digging his fingernails into his skin until he started bleeding through the paper. Childe had been through endless battles, and fought countless enemies, but no wound had ever burned as badly as his heart did right now. Even in the Abyss, he did not feel as bottomless of despair as he felt right now. He wanted to hold you again too, Childe thought. He wanted to kiss you all over and show you how much he loved you. But you were gone, and the letter just solidified it more. He laid down on your bed, hand covering his forehead as he stared blankly at your ceiling. Biting down on his lip hard, he tried to prevent tears from flowing again. He would just go back to being the Tsarista’s weapon again, drowning himself in battle and blood just to feel something after your death.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #dottore x reader #capitano x reader #pantalone x reader #scaramouche x reader #childe x reader #pierro x reader #columbina x reader #arlecchino x reader #la signora x reader #sandrone x reader #il dottore x reader #tartaglia x reader #fatui harbingers x reader #fatui x reader #genshin dottore #pantalone genshin #fragile reader <3

[its-time-to-write]

masterlist

i figured it was time to make one. it's in order based on when i wrote it. please, please let me know if a link is broken/mislabeled!!

*81 fics*

All of these are Jamie Tartt x reader

dress

Jamie and Keeley buy you a dress for the benefit gala

three times 'cause i've waited my whole life

secret relationship to engagement

you're losing me

first kid

don't make this any harder

Jamie wants to take you to Brazil, you’re both idiots

would hit him in a heartbeat now

Your ex boyfriend is a footballer and also a douche

silent sleepers

Jamie contemplates your relationship on the team bus

what it is

Jamie is sick ft. Roy

don't go wasting your emotion

Secret relationship + you own a bookshop! Ft. Roy and Keeley

you know, you'll always know me

You’re a famous singer! Congrats!

i don't know how you keep smiling/i'm just choking almost constantly

Jamie’s dad is a douche

i'll still be right next to you my dear

Jamie is a dad

can't really say i'm enjoying it now

Yikes it’s a breakup fic, but happy endings only in this house

mine of you with me

Reader and Jamie go semi-public with their relationship

today's a day like any other

The Tartt family thru the years

there's orange juice in the kitchen

Oof ouch period cramps

i can't breathe without you

Nate kisses you w/o consent

damned if i do give a damn what people say

You’re a theater actress! How exciting!

island made of faith

People think Jamie’s dumb, and he’s not

take your time while you're mine

You’re Roy’s other sister ft. all the Kents

honey, i'll give you all my time

Vienna. Enough said.

feeling fragile can't you tell

Jamie gets hurt

wrote all your lines in the script in my mind

Oh no! Some girl kissed Jamie and it wasn’t you! + Colin as the bff

stick together like glitter

Babysitting Phoebe + angst

your mind is not your friend

Angst + comfort after you have a bad hookup

chasing shadows in a grocery line

You’re pretty sure you have a hot stalker

don’t go yet

Tee hee protective Jamie at a club

kicking myself to keep from crying

The morning after your mind is not your friend

i think we could do it if we tried

High school sweethearts reunited after 6 years🥺

i’m glad you exist

You and Jamie go to a wedding

send for me

BREAKING: shit day at work made better by local boyfriend

tell me where to put my love

day off = food + snuggles

bored

The longest angst I’ve ever written. Def not the best angst I’ve ever written.

would it be enough if i never gave you peace

you’ve got baby fever and your pretty sure it’s going to kill your brother

wishing on every one

You own a flower shop. It’s adorable.

lyrical eyes, indigo smile

Bea meets the team for the first time!

something to rely on

You storm the pitch and smooch your bf

flipped the script

Enemies to lovers slow burn (or maybe fast burn, idk)

i fancy you

London Boy by ms. T. Swift

you don’t want to know me

Jamie shows up at your door after s.1 Man City

you’re in the kitchen humming

Post-Mom City

family that i chose

For the child-free girlies!

never wanted you to hate me

Pt. 2 of you don’t want to know me

wonderstruck

BFF Keeley tells you to give her awful ex a chance

in love with an idea

idk it’s like a confession of love? kinda cute

sinking into your worn-out mattress

Touch-deprived therapist! reader

you’re a mansion with a view

just two footballers doing an England promo, nothing to see here

i know what i’m doing

Post-Roy/Jamie locker room hug after Man City

wonder what it’d be like

Jamie tries to win you back

if only love were true

You’re a single mom in dire need of a plus-one

i know now it’ll pass

It’s hard to love someone when you’ve been told you don’t deserve it

the way it goes

The Greyhounds are protective of Jamie

how to love being alive

Idk this one’s like whatever and also supes long

there is happiness

GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE

it’s just wanderlust

Relationship soft launch

glitter on the floor

You like to knit. You also think you’re a comedian.

maybe tomorrow you’ll know

The “he’s a prick to everyone but her” trope

hustling for the good life

I swear this is my last chaptered fic

let’s fall in love for the night

Kent!reader is having a baby

soft hands hit the jagged ground

friends w/benefits

for you, there’ll be no more crying

anxiety at work + bf jamie

smile at me

there was only one bed!!!!

slow motion double vision in rose blush

happy b-day Jamie Tartt

half-moon eyes

it’s just a question!

can’t hear my thoughts (i cannot hear my thoughts)

I’m allowed to write what i want, ok???

here in my arms

more Kent!reader + a baby named George

coffee at midnight

prick coach wakes you up bc of your prick boyfriend

healing me fine

Just a lil engagement fic for ya

i don’t know anything

if you’re interested in Bea

right words at the right time

It’s a wedding fic

move fast and keep quiet

boxer!reader + smitten Jamie

not saying you’re in love with me

You meet over Bantr!!!

we could be so good

Jamie comforts you after a bad date

i hold it like a grudge

i don’t even know how to describe this one but u might cry

there for you

sick fic

before you go

physio!reader

you’ll probably date her

chronic illness + childhood friends. gotta love it

feel it burn

Gym anxiety

play it back

Old movies of bb Jamie

ours

Thanksgivinggggg

light in the hallway

MORE Kent!reader

stuck by you

Bad family + good Jamie = fic

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso #masterlist

[moonhoures]

All Of Me

🕷️ kinktober — day 7: breeding kink / creampie 🕸️

pairing: jooheon (monsta x) + reader (afab/fem)

genre: idol!au, mild angst, fluff, smut

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, explicit smut, established relationship, unprotected sex, creampie, mention of pregnancy (but no actual pregnancy), mention of joo’s military enlistment

word count: ~2.1k

synopsis: you and your idol bf tenderly enjoy one more night together before his enlistment

a/n: dedicating this to my fav jooheon stan @carronpatrick 💕 hope you enjoy it 🫂 also, there’s not much of a breeding kink aspect to this, i’ve realized, so i removed that from the tagline 🙃

posted: october 7, 2023

kinktober masterlist

So here it was. The day you had been dreading ever since you and Jooheon first started dating. On top of dealing with the hardships of dating an idol—a very successful and famous one at that—you also had to deal with his leaving for military service. He reminded you of it every once in a while, and for the longest time it felt so far away. But now the day had arrived on your doorstep with no remorse, no empathy.

“Don’t look so sad,” your boyfriend tried to lighten the mood as you two sat at the edge of your bed. He had come over to spend the night with you and pick up some of his things from your apartment. He was set to leave for his enlistment two days from now, so this was the last day you had him all to yourself until he would go, “Eighteen months will pass faster than you think. And it’s not like we won’t be able to see or talk to each other.”

“I know,” you put all your energy into speaking with no sign of distress, but your voice betrayed you with a wobble. Jooheon frowned a little, resting his arm around your shoulders as you started to sniffle and tears pricked at your eyes.

“I’ll talk to you as often as I can. That’s a promise. You remember I made you that promise the first year we dated,” he reminded you of that night. Of course, the memory was engrained in your mind like a movie you had just seen yesterday—most of your memories with him were. You recalled you two sitting on the couch, sipping on some beer and eating take-out. He had just finished a media run for Monsta X’s most recent comeback, and he had finally got a night off to spend with you. The topic of his enlistment came up and brought down the mood, but somehow Jooheon always knew what to say to make you feel better.

“_________, I promise, on everything I own and love, that during my enlistment I will use any means and any time I have to talk to you, first and foremost,” even a little tipsy, with his hands jokingly on his chest and in the air (respectively), he managed to say those words so sincerely. You had no choice but to trust his words back then. And even now, you trusted him with everything you had.

“I feel so dumb for crying. It’s not like you’re leaving forever,” you wiped your eyes with the back of your hands, and the smallest smile finally cracked your lips when his laugh sounded from beside you.

“Exactly,” he said, “I’ll be back sooner than you think. And I’ll be sure to set aside lots of time just for us. Just for you,” he corrected himself, pressing a kiss to your head. When you looked up at him, his eyes softened at the redness and teariness in your own. His hand reached up to hold your chin still while he leaned down to give you a tender kiss.

It was a wonder that Jooheon always knew what to say in every situation, but especially without saying anything at all. It was like he spoke with his body language too. Because the kiss he gave you then seemed to whisper it’ll be okay. His other hand holding your waist assured you i’ll always be here when you need me, even if i’m not physically here. The way he rested his forehead against yours after pulling away said i’ll always be yours.

“When you get back-” you started speaking tentatively, and to your surprise, your words came out more confident than before, “-we’re not leaving this bed for a few days, at least. You understand?”

His brows raised and his dimples made an appearance as he chuckled. He nodded, biting his lip subtly before replying, “I was already planning on that. Make sure you have the condoms stocked when I get back.”

As he leaned in for another kiss, your hands were holding onto the fabric of his shirt, feebly attempting to keep him closer, “But I wanna feel you when you get back. Not latex.”

You tried not to smirk against his lips when you felt a low rumble from his chest into his throat.

“Fuck, don’t get me started, _______,” he whined, his hand already going back to your face. His fingers caressed your jaw as his eyes traced between your eyes and lips. Everything in him was begging to have you in that moment.

“Come on, Joo. One more time before you go?” you breathed out against his cheek in between the kisses you pressed to it.

You could feel his breathing getting heavier, and one glance at his lap let you know he was at least considering it. You tested the waters by leaning down and kissing under his jaw, his weak spot. You hummed, “Please.”

Your boyfriend merely groaned in response before he was taking your face in his hands, bringing your lips to his in an abrupt, smashing kiss. He took control easily, you always melted into putty in his hands. You molded to him in any way he manipulated you. He had eased you onto your back, your thighs at the edge of the bed as he continued to make out with you fervently.

Despite how tender and careful he was in his touches, there was an underlying, waiting sense of ferociousness. Like he was waiting for the perfect moment to unleash on you. And you couldn’t wait for the moment to come. You tried to coax it from him, using your fingers to grip at his back. You urged him closer with the rocking of your hips, with the nudging of your feet against his ass. He simply chuckled at your attempts, finding you cute when you were so desperate for him.

He whispered sweet nothings to you as you both discarded your clothing, utters of how beautiful you looked. How good you would feel. How he already couldn’t wait to come back even though he hadn’t left yet. Before the sadness could settle in you again, you were moaning at the feeling of his bare cock resting over your pelvis. His lips peppered kisses all over your chest as his hand pumped his erection in preparation for you. He smiled to himself when you started to move your hips up, quietly exhorting him to fuck you.

“Are the condoms still in the drawer?” he asked you, starting to peel himself away so he could go get them.

You stopped him, hands holding onto his biceps for dear life, “We don’t need to use them. If this is the last time we do this before you go, I want to feel you, Jooheon. Just you.”

Your boyfriend’s dick twitched, and he leaned back down to capture your lips again. He was so whipped for you. His heart skipped a beat when he felt your body pressed up against his. When he heard the sounds you made for him. When he felt how wet you were already. His fingertips swiped up your slit, and he relished in the airy moans you let out before he circled your clit.

“I can’t wait to feel you wrapped around me,” he said, watching your resolve crumble beneath his touch, “It’s been so long since we did it raw.”

It was; over a year, in fact. And it nearly didn’t happen at all. The two of you were getting hot and heavy in his car one day on a road trip, and had gotten to the best part before realizing neither of you had a condom on you. After a minute of panic, you decided to say fuck it and went through with your actions anyway. But you lived in anxiety afterwards. You weren’t really nervous about getting pregnant with Jooheon’s kid, though being pregnant at all did make your stomach sink. But you were more so nervous about tarnishing Jooheon’s career and/or reputation. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you were the cause of such turmoil. Luckily, you didn’t fall pregnant, but you two swore not to do it with condom again until you were both sure that’s what you wanted to do. Now just felt right.

“I want to feel you,” you repeated eagerly, getting impatient. You could feel him lining up at your entrance, his hand still stroking his erection.

“You’ll feel me, baby. All of me.”

Boy, did you. You sucked in a breath as he sunk between your folds, filling you to the brim with his thick length. You watched his face screw up with a disgruntled expression as he felt your tight walls constrict him. He forgot how good you felt like this.

“Holy shit,” he grunted.

You smiled, urging him to start thrusting by pulling on his waist with your hands. Your nails lightly dug into his skin. He hissed while he pulled out, barely keeping his tip in before thrusting back into you slowly. His hips bucked into yours in a growing rhythm. Heavy breaths and the sounds of wet kissing surrounded you two. It was like the two of you made lustful music when you made love. That’s what it always was with him. “Fucking” didn’t sound right to Jooheon. If he was going to have sex with you, he was going to pour in every ounce of his love and appreciation for you that he could muster.

He drilled into you, but his lips were soft and smooth in the way they touched your body, wherever they could reach. He made sure to tell you how good you made him feel and how well you took him. Little did you know that it was mostly because he could feel the effect it had on you. Every touch, every kiss, every word had your insides fluttering, your pussy clenching on him as if he would disappear if you didn’t. In a way, he was going to disappear, you supposed.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” you pouted, feeling that sinking sensation in your stomach as you felt tears welling up in your eyes again.

Jooheon’s hips faltered as he made eye contact with you. His orbs began to mirror yours briefly before he pulled himself together. He continued to thrust into you, softer than before, “I’ll miss you so much more, trust me. I’m gonna think about you every second of every day. Gonna count down the minutes until I can see you again.”

“Joo,” you moaned as you felt your climax building in your lower belly. Your leg muscles were tensing up from the impending sensation.

“Baby,” he whimpered, on the brink of his own release. This was the only bad part of not using a condom; you felt too good. There was no way in hell he could last as long as he usually did. All he could do was hope that you would want round two, and maybe a round three, or four . . .

“Want you to cum inside.”

“I will,” he nodded, eyelids closing tight as he shuddered. He was so close, “Gonna take it all?”

“Mhm,” you hugged around his shoulders, drawing him close until his forehead was on yours. He pressed a haphazard kiss to your nose out of passion, and you chuckled softly.

“Fuc-“ he couldn’t even finish before he was cumming, painting your core. He shook under your touch, his strength wavering under the weight of his orgasm. “Holy shit, that feels so good. You feel so good. I wish you could feel this the way I do.”

Your head was spinning from the way he talked you through it. You could only moan out his name as you came after him, his warmth filling you up sending you over the edge, “Oh my God.”

“That’s it,” he kissed your neck, then he leaned down to hug you properly. It felt oddly nice having his body weight on you, like a comforting blanket.

You would miss this. Not just the love-making, but all of it. Him. You would miss him. It was hard enough being away from him most days due to his job, but having him be unavailable for long periods of time was going to be a form of hell. All you wanted to do was have him like this all the time. All to yourself. You wanted to be able to kiss him and hold him whenever you felt like it. You didn’t want to worry about him up and leaving at any time for any reason. You wanted to have him completely. Was it still selfishness if it was out of pure, uncontainable love?

“Eighteen months,” you didn’t realize you had said it out loud until Jooheon pulled away to regard you with a crestfallen nod.

“Eighteen months,” he confirmed. You prayed that it would be the fastest year and six months of your life.

— taglist #1

@jaylaxies @xiaoting999 @kookthief @zaddywilk @wonrangwoo @pedriswrld @ikykleeknowww @abby-grace @odisdad @jungwonloveer @pinklemonadeflav @celestialplatinum @luvkpopp @nlklstan @kisses4denji @jenos-eye-smiles @a-l-i-y-a @channiesprincess @bekah931215 @heerinnie @fairygirl18 @cinnikoi @im-ur-calico-cat @unlikelysublimekryptonite

#monsta x smut #jooheon smut #monsta x fanfic #monsta x imagines #monsta x scenarios #monsta x x reader #monsta x x y/n #jooheon fanfic #jooheon imagines #jooheon scenarios #jooheon x reader #jooheon x y/n #lee jooheon smut #mx smut #[🕷️] kinktober 23

[skzooweemama]

Because this tiktok trend is really old now how would skz reaction to you wiping off thier kisses? Like because it's an old trend they probably wouldn't be thinking that's what you're doing.

gotta keep them on their toes right? i gotchu!!

oh my gosh it’s been nearly a month since i’ve posted anything i- 😭😭 midterms are over now, so i’m hoping i’ll have more time! still working on the rest of the requests i’ve received not to worry 🫡🫡

i hope y’all like this one! i’m gonna be honest, i didn’t have a lot of ideas going into it, so i changed it up a lil from how the prompt was. i think it turned out okay though!

enjoy!

~~~

Bang Chan:

"Baby?" Your boyfriend called down the hall, wandering from the in- home studio to find you in the kitchen making a snack.

You smiled as Chan rounded the corner, with bleary eyes and messy hair. "Hi love, did you just finish?" He hummed and drew you into a hug once he was close enough, burying his head into the crook of your neck. You giggled at his cute behavior and rubbed his back gently.

"Finished and fell asleep..." Chan mumbled into your neck, the sensation making you giggle.

You brought a hand up to scratch at the nape of his neck. "Sounds like you needed it, hm?" Another hum escaped your sleepy boy. "Do you want some of my snack?" Chan nodded, raising his head to see what you were making.

You pulled away briefly to grab the snack (cheese and crackers, a classic) and fed him some. Chan giggled when he realized you wanted to feed him and let you, blushing a bit from the gesture. Afterwards, he pressed a crumby kiss to your cheek.

"Gah! Chris!" You cried out, dramatically wiping at your cheek. Honestly, you didn't really mind, but you wanted to see how he'd react.

Chan just giggled, a shy smile spreading on his face as he pulled you close once again, covering you in more (yet significantly less crumby) kisses.

You squealed out and pushed at his chest, Chan’s laughter mixing with your own as he continued with his attack. “Baby!” You whined, playfully squirming in his hold.

Chan’s arms slipped around your waist and held you fast, his lips trailing down to yours. His warm breath fanned across your face, leaving you completely defenseless. Then he pressed a searing kiss right to your lips, leaving you breathless when he pulled away. You stared up at him, a dazed look in your eyes.

“You’re not gonna wipe that one away now, are you?”

Lee Know:

"Honey? Is that you?" Minho's voice was soft, but it still broke through your post-work haze as you toed off your shoes by the door.

"Yeah Min, I'm home." You called back, shrugging off your jacket and hanging it up. Your scalp was screaming from being up in a bun all day, so you worked on wrestling out the bobby pins while you made your way to the living room.

You freed your hair from its confines just as you came around the corner, finding Minho’s gentle gaze peering back at you. He offered you a warm smile and patted the couch, beckoning you over.

“Hi love…” You said softly, plopping down beside Minho and letting him pull you into his side. You buried your head into the fabric of his hoodie and took a deep breath. “Missed you…”

Minho made a small cooing noise in the back of his throat and pet your hair gently. “Long day?”

“Only the longest… I just keep telling myself that this is my dream job…” You sighed, turning to rest your cheek against his chest.

“That bad, hm? You wanna talk about it?” Minho’s words sent tingles through your body from being pressed so close to him. You huffed out a laugh and shook your head.

“It’s okay, I’m just tired."

"Okay." Minho responded, shifting so he could press a smooch to your forehead.

The kiss was loud and dramatic, and it made you giggle. Without thinking, you wiped at the excess spit his left on your forehead. "Minho! You slobbered me!" You exclaimed, looking up at your boyfriend with a goofy grin on your face.

Minho was staring back at you. If looks could kill, you would be at death's door. It was as if his eyes were screaming at you, beyond offended at you wiping away his love. You couldn’t help but laugh and sat up, pressing your own kisses onto his skin in an apology.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Give me another kiss, I won't wipe it off again!"

Changbin:

Changbin, your love, your light, your life, had been annoying you to no end. This morning it had been his excessive screaming, this afternoon it had been his covers of random songs, and now he would not stop trying to teach you his rap parts in one of their new songs. And he was a really bad teacher.

"No, baby! The flow isn't right, you miss this syllable," He gestured to the lyrics written out in front of you, "and it really kills the rhythm. Let's try again!"

"Bin! I don't get it! I'm not a rapper!" You exclaimed, feeling more and more frustrated by his criticisms. Plus his hand writing was so bad that you could hardly read the lyrics in the first place.

Changbin pouted, grabbing your hand gently. “Can we try again? Please?” You groaned and slumped forward in your seat, laying your head on the table for a moment.

“Fineeee…” You said after a moment. Changbin smiled at the success of his pouting and started the track again.

This time, the word flowed from your lips like water in a stream. You didn't have near as much swagger as your boyfriend did while rapping, but you didn't sound bad by any means. When you chanced a glance over to Changbin, he was sitting there with stars in his eyes. You smiled despite yourself as the verse came to an end.

"So? Was that better?" You asked, leaning back in your chair.

"Was it better? That was great! My baby is a natural!" Changbin exclaimed, leaning over the table to press kisses to your cheeks.

You giggled and batted at him playfully. "I'm not a natural! You had to help me, silly!" Changbin stopped his attack and sat back, and you took the chance to wipe at all the kisses he left on your face. "That's for instilling me with false confidence." You snickered, smiling at him mischievously.

Changbin gasped and let out a dramatic whine. "Babyyyyy!! How could you?! Do you not love your Binnie??" You just started laughing, heart melting immediately at Changbin's cute pout.

"Noooo! Wait I'm sorry!" You laughed, getting up from your chair to hug your pouty boy. "I'll give you all the kisses you want, no more wiping them off!"

Hyunjin:

"Yah! Stay still!" Hyunjin barked at you from his seat in front of the canvas, throwing you a playful glare. You sighed and sat up straighter, trying your hardest to stay posed how he wanted you.

"Hyunnnn... my back is hurting!" You whined (because he didn't say anything about staying quiet). "Are you almost done?"

Hyunjin glanced at you again, his gaze softened. You knew he was starting to feel guilty for keeping you sat there for so long. He looked back to the canvas and started to work more diligently.

"Just a bit longer, okay? You look so beautiful, my love. I don't wanna rush..." Your boyfriend responded, his voice much less harsh now.

You nodded and settled in, keeping perfectly still and trying to ignore the burning that was slowly creeping up your spine. You distracted yourself by watching Hyunjin work. His long black hair was pulled up and away from his eyes, which were focused and calculating as he worked. He was just too pretty. It was unfair, honestly, but selfishly checking him out was your compensation so you couldn't complain too much.

Except for the fact that the pain in your back was getting harder to ignore.

You let out a loud, frustrated sigh before finally, finally, Hyunjin put down that godforsaken brush.

"Okay, okay, I'm done for now." He said, getting up and stretching. You did the same, trying to quell the fire in your muscles. "Come here, baby." You looked to see Hyunjin with his arms out, offering you a hug.

"I don't feel like I should hug you after that torture." You said, crossing your arms. Hyunjin smiled and shook his head, walking forward to wrap you up in his embrace anyway.

"Too bad, I missed you~" He hummed, burying his head in the crook of your neck. You couldn't help but smile and melt into him. Hyunjin chuckled and stepped back, brushing your hair away from your face and giving you a loving look. You pulled a playful scowl back onto your face, which made him laugh once again. "You're cute..." He hummed, placing a delicate kiss on your forehead...

...which you promptly wiped right off, jumping up from your seat and making your way to the door.

Hyunjin caught you around the waist just before you could escape. "Yah! That's not nice! Don't wipe away my love!" He exclaimed, a playful lilt in his tone. You began to giggle gleefully, which made him growl in your ear. "Oh, you wanna laugh?"

You squealed as his fingers dug into your tickle spots, and through your laughter you cried out, "I'm sorry! I won't wipe them away again!"

Han:

When you heard the front door close, it was nearing 1am. This was much later than the time that Jisung promised to be home. You'd practically been worried sick, especially since he wasn't answering your calls or texts. But no, clearly he was fine- just ignoring his worried partner.

So there you sat, arms crossed, silently fuming as your lovely boyfriend came around the corner.

Immediately, you felt bad when you saw him. He looked so tired. His big eyes were bloodshot and framed with dark circles when they were usually bright and full of life, and he was a bit slouched as he walked. But still, he perked right up when he saw you, lips pulling into his big, gummy smile.

"Hi baby!" He said cheerfully. His voice would be a sharp contrast to his appearance, if it wasn't for the hoarseness from recording all day. You glanced at the clock once again and felt yet another pang of frustration.

"Hi Ji," You greeted, offering him a tight lipped smile. "Little late, isn't it? Why didn't you answer my texts? I was worried." Jisung visibly deflated at your words as he sat beside you and that made your heart wrench in your chest.

"Ah- it is late, huh? I'm sorry, baby. I got caught up editing tracks with Chan and my phone died. The studio doesn't have Apple chargers anymore, so I couldn't fix it and there's no clock so-," You cut off his rambling with a hand on his arm.

"Ji- calm down. It's okay, I was just worried, that's all. I'm glad you're home." You told him, offering him a smile to assure him that you were being genuine. Jisung relaxed, and you opened your arms to pull him into a hug. "You okay?"

He nodded against your shoulder, holding you close. The two of you sat in silence for a moment before he pulled away and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You gave him a teasing look and dramatically wiped at the kiss, attempting to get a rise out of him.

That did not go over well, and instead of playing along, tears gathered in Jisung's eyes and his lips immediately pulled into a deep frown.

You laughed in disbelief and pulled him into another hug, holding the back of his head protectively.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry! I was just joking, please don't cry! I won't wipe any more off!"

Felix:

"Babe, are you gonna finish up soon? I'm bored..." You whined, laying face down on your boyfriend's bed, phone abandoned beside you. He'd been working on his PC for hours and you just wanted his attention.

"Impatient, hm?" Was all Felix said in response, and you could practically hear the smile in his voice.

You groaned loudly and kicked your legs. "Lix, it's been hours. I'm wasting away over here!" Felix just laughed, his deep chuckle sounding way too teasing.

You lifted your head and scowled at his back, wishing he'd set down those stupid tools and come pay attention to your before you literally went insane. As you glared at him, an idea crossed your mind. There was an old Tiktok couples prank that you had been wanting to try since you started dating... What better way to get back at him for ignoring you?

Felix was hunched over his keyboard at you approached him from behind, focused on screwing something into something else. When you reached him, you leaned forward, pressing your chest against his back, and wrapped him up in a back hug.

"Lix... pay attention to me..." You whispered in his ear, you voice overly sensual. Felix tensed up beneath you, and you heard his breathing pick up in the quiet of the room. "Oh? Was that all it took?" You teased, nipping at his earlobe before returning to your place on the bed.

It took about .5 seconds until Felix was on you, pushing you down onto the bed and kissing your feverishly. You giggled into the kiss, allowing him to cage you in just for a moment before you pushed at his chest. Felix pulled away and looked at you wildly, his cheeks and ears still bright red from when you flustered him.

You held eye contact with him as you wiped your lips with the back of your hand, giving him a wink as you did so. Felix's face was shocked for a moment, but then he smiled. Fuck, you forgot about how much he was on Tiktok too.

"Did you try to prank me? Why don't I make you regret ever wiping my kisses off, then?"

Seungmin:

Today was one of those rare days that you had off from work. It was a small blessing after a hectic week of project reports and visits from your higher ups, and you were thankful to have some time to recooperate. Unfortunately, Seungmin was still working and you wouldn't see him until the evening.

Luckily he forgot to pack lunch today, so you had the perfect excuse to cook him something he liked and visit him at work.

When you knocked on the door to the practice room all he and his members were in, they had all just finished a dance practice. Seungmin couldn't help the goofy smile that took over his face when he saw you, which made you laugh. The boys teased him for a moment as they gathered their things, greeting you kindly when they filed out the door.

"How was practice?" You asked once everyone had left. Seungmin groaned dramatically and flopped onto the small couch near the door. You laughed and maneuvered him so you had some room to sit too. "That bad?"

"'S fine, just hardddd... my body hurts..." He whined, throwing an arm over his eyes. You hummed and patted his tummy, which made him groan again.

"I'm sorry you're hurting, love. Do you want some food?" Your question had him interested, so he removed his arm from over his eyes and looked at you.

"You brought me food?" He asked. You were almost offended at how surprised he looked.

"Duh, you forgot to pack anything this morning. I wasn't gonna let my baby starve!" Your words were teasing, but genuine, and you watched joyfully as Seungmin's cheeks got all rosy. He sat up and scooted towards you, wrapping you up in a hug and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

It would've been a nice gesture if he wasn't so sweaty.

"Ah! You're getting me all gross with your sweat!" You cried, cringing at the hug and shying away from the kiss. Once he let you go, you immediately began wiping at your lips and trying to rid yourself of any residual boyfriend sweat.

"Oh yeah? You're gonna be like that? Wiping off my kisses?" Seungmin asked, giving you a challenging look. Without a second thought, you attempted to jump up and run away, only to be caught around the waist.

"Wait! I won't wipe them off again! Seungmin!"

I.N:

You considered messing with Jeongin to be a sort of art form, to say the least. He was clever, but he could also be gullible. That made pranks a 50/50 shot with him, either he figured you out immediately or he would fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

Today, you had devised a fool-proof plan to make sure that he would let you have your fun.

Couple pranks were something you had been wanting to try for a while. You didn't want to film them or post them or anything, you just purely liked a good, light-hearted prank and your boyfriend was a decent victim. There was one that had caught your attention back before you had started dating Jeongin, and it seemed like one he was unlikely to catch onto. Until you told him about it, at least.

It all started when you came back from grabbing groceries at the store. Errands were no fun to do alone, but since it was hard to go out in public together with Jeongin, you usually had no choice. It was all better when you got back home, though.

Jeongin had the weekend free from schedules, which was pretty uncommon. It also meant he was there to greet you when you came home instead of you waiting for him. He was sitting in the kitchen doing work on his computer when you came through the door.

A smile immediately broke out across his face when he saw you, his dimples greeting you just as eagerly. "Hi, babe. Need some help?" It wasn't really even a question he needed to ask, because he was already getting up to grab the bag from you before you could answer.

You smiled at him lovingly and set down the second bag. Jeongin set down the one he took beside it, and when you turned towards him, he captured your lips in a gentle kiss. You sighed into the kiss and cupped his cheek, drawing him in closer.

“Hi…” You whispered when you pulled away, still feeling those classic butterflies when you looked into his bright eyes. Jeongin giggled and leaned to kiss you again, just a peck this time, before he turned to start putting the groceries away.

“Was the store okay? I heard-,” Whatever he was gonna say next died on his tongue as he turned and looked to see you wipe your mouth on the back of your hand. “Did… did you just wipe my kiss away?”

You couldn’t help but break out into laughter at his words and the look of pure confusion on his face. He didn’t look remotely offended, just confused.

“I’m sorry baby, it was just a prank!”

“Too bad, I’m never kissing you again.”

“Nooo!! I promise to never wipe off another one!”

#skz x reader #stray kids fluff #fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids fanfic #bang chan x reader #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #han jisung x reader #kim seungmin x reader #i.n x reader #jeongin x reader #skzooweemama.asks #skzooweemama.writes

[guxciestone]

— YOUR FIRST/NEXT RELATIONSHIP ❞

(pick a card reading)

🥀✧

THIS READING INCLUDES:

— when and where you will both meet. — first impressions. — their personality. — physical appearance. — why you will fall in love with each other. — relationship dynamic. — potential problems. — lessons you will both learn from each other.

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✧ note ✧

hiii guys! ❤️ i’m happy to be back because i’ve made it kind of a new year’s resolution to post more, lol, we’ll see how that goes. this is the longest PAC i’ve ever put effort in. it took me 3 weeks while doing school to finish this. i hope you enjoy the reading! please send me feedback, and there’s a poll at the end of the post, it asks if your pile(s) resonated with you or not, please answer it. it’ll help me improve my readings and accuracy. thank you! :)

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୨୧ pile one ୨୧

WHEN AND WHERE YOU WILL BOTH MEET?

You are going to meet your partner around a time where you are getting in touch with yourself. You might spend more time alone than usual for self-exploration and soul-searching, in hermit mode. You could be working on self-love and self-confidence, your sense of spirituality, or creative pursuits such as art, nails, or even music. You’ll genuinely feel you’re stepping into your inner power around this time, even if it feels like no one else notices. You’re doing it for yourself, and you’re happy with that. You will mostly likely officially meet your next partner through social media or through some type of virtual communication. You might have an idea of your partner before you meet them probably though friends, but this is when you will finally speak to them. Another half of you, I am starting to think that you actually know this person, like for real. This could be an ex, but they could also be someone you had a failed connection with, or a situationship that was close to being a relationship but didn’t make it. I’m hearing ‘5am’ and ‘text message’. I’m getting this vibe of you randomly being on instagram or whatsapp at 3am, and someone randomly texts you “Hey beautiful <3” It is possible that the guy or the masculine person will approach the other person through DM’s with the desire to initiate a loving connection. I’m seeing this person scrolling the others’ social media admiring how attractive and hot they are. Your partner could mostly be the one doing this. Again, this person may have known you from mutual friends and happened to have gotten a hand on your social media, contact, or phone number, and wants to take action towards you. I do see that this person might have hesitated a bit on communicating with you because you might not know them too well or they’re scared you won’t reciprocate their energy, but I see them successfully coming through with courage :)

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS?

Again, you and next your partner might know each other already, maybe you two just never made it to the deeper stages of the relationship.

Your next partner might perceive you as someone who is indifferent, detached, and wants nothing to do with them. Perhaps when they approached you through your social media, you might’ve not been that excited or reciprocative to them. You might not be happy about hearing from them, or you just moved on and could care less. Perhaps you two were starting to date, but this person ditched out on a date the last minute, and that caused you to be unforgiving or stubborn towards them. Whatever happened, I feel like they are back and are willing to try this again. They believe that you might be holding a lot of burdens and troubles in your life right now, and it’s causing you to harden up and not open up to them. They think that because of the issues you have going on, you aren’t allowed to fully go with the flow and be soft with life, which is affecting how you approach them. Perhaps they’ve noticed you have been working a lot, and been extremely busy with your money situation. This could be something financial they are thinking about too. Your next partner is going to believe you aren’t secure enough, especially financially secure enough to fully indulge in yourself and relax without any responsibilities or restrictions. They might want to come back and promise you that type of security. It is possible this person walked out on you when you wished for a promising future with them, but they weren’t at the place they needed to be to give you that, so they bounced. Well, now they’re back. And they also hope to give you the strength and resilience too.

You are going to feel extremely disappointed when you hear from your next partner after a long time. You’re going to think from the lack of interaction and not seeing them after some time that they seem better off with you, and that they walked out for a reason (I want to tell you that is not true) This might make you feel very insecure in yourself and what you have to offer to others. You’ll think they weren’t worth the time building a future with anyways, so you are going to try to actively move on from them and work on yourself. You’ll also feel as though you cannot trust them after what they did to you, and you forbid yourself from ever talking to them about anything. You could also view them as unreliable and someone you cannot lean on to in times of need. For a group of you, I feel the impression you have of this person is a huge misunderstanding and there’s more to the story. I feel like you couldn’t see them eye to eye about something specific, perhaps something about finances, structure, and responsibility. That could’ve also been a reason for the previous breakup between you both.

I’m also hearing that this could be someone you planned to marry, or an ex-fiancé, but it didn’t work out.

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THEIR PERSONALITY?

Your next partner (or ex) could be someone who usually prefers to be alone most of the time. They could be a lone wolf, someone who loves doing things alone and without anyone’s help. They are someone who is resilient and highly capable of being introspective. I feel like they are someone who is used to being on their own, so they might not be the best at compromising for others or doing things for other people. They can be affectionate, it’s just they are “a man for themselves” type of person for the most part, not necessarily selfish I feel. Which can also explain why I get the vibe that they could be very picky about who they let into their life, whether that be romantically or platonically. Although their pickiness can be a beneficial thing for their mental health and well-being, their pickiness can also be detrimental to their success in relationships. This might have gotten them into some depressive states at some point in their life. Virgo and Aquarius placements are coming through. This person might be someone who sometimes struggles to protect, defend, or exert traits such as bravery or assertiveness. This could be a factor as to why the connection didn’t work out the first time. This person is highly self-aware too. If they recognize something within themselves they need to fix, they’ll fix it. In this case, I feel as though they’ve came back to provide you with some type of security and a reliable figure, something they didn’t bother to have or be until now.

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PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?

Black hair for most, brunette hair for a group, and blonde hair for a smaller group. Longer hair; manbun or pony tail; rounder or square-shaped face; tanner or fair skin; prominent lips (could be medium or smaller); alluring and mysterious personality; aries or virgo placements, maybe a bit of libra energy; 2A to 2C hair; thicker body type or bigger, for others, skinnier and taller; might love wearing hoodies, jackets, or caps; curlier or wavier hair.

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WHY YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?

You will fall in love with your next partner because they’ve underwent a rebirth where they came back better than ever to give you what you truly want and yearn for—security, protection, and love. It will almost be like they are a different person and they’ve grown into a mature version of themselves. You might even notice that they’ll try to make their mistakes up to you by taking in your responsibilities and obligations for you so you don’t have to worry about them anymore. You’ll love that they didn’t truly move on, and it might even give you clarity about where you two stand with each other romantically. It’ll let you know that they are still into you, and there will be clear communication about everything at all times, because I feel like that big mishap was because of a misunderstanding for some of you. You’ll also admire their priorities. Again, this person might’ve been someone who has always been there for themselves, but now that they are with you and they have something else to protect, they are also focused on you and the ones they care about. And that makes you love them more. You’ll fall in love with how you can make promises with this person and they won’t break them. You can trust them way more than you could have in the past. And there’s potential for marriage or a serious long-term relationship with this pile, maybe even a child.

Your next partner will fall in love with you because of your faith and your determination to make things happen for yourself. They admire your optimism, outlook, power, passion, and hope. They see you as someone who has so much potential. They also love how selfless you are, you are always willing to be there for others in times of need, which could’ve been something that inspired them more to become this new person. You might very good with children, or you could have younger siblings or nieces/nephews you love being around and they think that it’s adorable and they probably can’t wait to see you with their kids in the future. However, they notice that you can be a bit too selfless to the point where you put yourself in danger. They will want you to focus on yourself from time to time. They notice your intelligence and how gifted you are—whatever that talent is, for some of you, you could like doing nails, hair, fashion, or music? They think you desire a lot of more recognition for that talent, and they wouldn’t mind pushing you out there for others to see it.

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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC?

Again, you and this person might’ve had a connection in the past, so perhaps the dynamic didn’t start off the best. There could’ve been a lack of communication, maybe a lot of arguing/push and pull dynamic. Maybe even a bit toxic, especially from your side. Perhaps you had an forceful nature towards this person due to their lack of assertion or promises in the connection. There could’ve even be a sense of self-sabotaging on your partner’s side. I’m seeing the past dynamic being the feminine partner having to be extremely aggressive and daunting because the masculine partner wasn’t doing what they needed to do for the person they cared about. Now in the second reconcile, of course there will still be some times where you both need to work on communicating and understanding each other, but this person is way more reliable, protective, trusting, and willing to compromise and provide, which has allowed you to let them take the lead and follow in their footsteps respectively. I’m getting a decent balance of masculine and feminine energy in this connection now. This is overall a positive and progressive dynamic for you and your partner’s development.

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POTENTIAL PROBLEMS?

Both of you might need to work on your sense of pride and your ability to be vulnerable. I feel like both of you might have your guards up in the relationship all due to a lack of trust and not making each other feel secure enough to do so. I definitely feel this on the feminine’s side, probably you, specifically. You both need to open up in order for this relationship to be emotionally fulfilling and thrive; and communication and listening is key to doing this. On your partner’s side, they might be a bit careless about others around them, and i’m also hearing for others, their finances, which I think is what they will be progressively working on when they get back with you, but it is important to make sure they stay on track and don’t lose course. If it is about finances, they need to make sure to stay on track or financially instability is possible, and then it’ll lead to the same issue again.

For the other group who did not have a misunderstanding of their judgements about this person from the start, it’s possible that there could be an issue with heartbreak, cheating, deception, or lying. In this case, you already know what’s the solution—leave. It’ll lead to more heartbreak if you stay, it could even leave to unrequited love. Know your worth, please.

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LESSONS YOU WILL LEARN FROM EACH OTHER?

From your next partner, you will learn how to step out of your comfort zone. Some of you could have a fire or air north node. I feel like your partner will help you expand your connections with people to further yourself in your career endeavors and life in general. You’ll learn how to network with others properly. You’ll also learn how to trust your intuition as well as trust others. Your future partner will help you embrace your emotions and sense of vulnerability better than ever, which will transform you into a completely different person and even helping you on your soul journey.

From you, your next partner will learn how to not be as impulsive or careless, to take it easy and slowly revise things. You might even teach them how to be persistent and keep going after their goals. They’ll look to your faith and ability to make things happen for you, so they’ll learn how to step into their own power and make things happen for themselves. You might even help with money management skills. This is random, but I’m also hearing you might help them with their fashion sense, appearance, or personal health. Perhaps you might get them on a new diet, type of style, or haircut, something like that.

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A song that came through for this pile:

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୨୧ pile two ୨୧

WHEN AND WHERE WILL YOU BOTH MEET?

I’m seeing that you may meet your next partner through a person, specifically a female figure who is particularly masculine or an air sign—perhaps a mother or a close friend. There is a vibe that you might meet this person in an energetic setting such as a party or dance. I’m seeing you being with this particular female or feminine figure and they introduce you to this person very spontaneously. This interaction will definitely be unexpected and in-your-face, and you might even be overwhelmed with the interaction and the environment in general. That’s why I’m getting huge party energy and this friend just grabbing your arm and trying to introduce you to this person through the loud music. I’m seeing around this time, you might be going through a powerless moment. You’re going to feel like you’re out of control with yourself and your energy. It is possible you might’ve underwent a terrible breakup or left a toxic relationship, and it has left you drained and insecure. You might not be expecting a relationship or yourself stepping back into the dating world when you meet your person, and that’s why I’m getting that this interaction might be unexpected and maybe even overwhelming for you. This friend or feminine figure could want you to socialize and explore your options, so they are introducing you to potential love interests, and you may, but mostly may not be fine with that. Another possibility is that your friend might’ve heard that this person has developed an interest in you, and your friend thought it was the perfect circumstance as they believe it is time for you to find a lover again; and this person wants to offer something extremely serious to you (this person may be older or hold a much more mature energy; if it’s a guy, he is in tune with his feminine and well-mannered side, this is probably coming through because you might notice it in the first impression)

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS?

I want to point out that some of you could be LGBTQ+.

I feel like you will feel conflicted about this person on the first impression, not because they give off bad vibes, but more so you aren’t sure if you are willing to take your chances with them because of what you’ve already been through in your previous relationships. It is almost like you don’t want to stress and exhaust yourself over anyone anymore, and it’s just not worth it. Or you just feel you aren’t particularly ready for it yet. However, you think this person is “a treat”. You view this person as the ideal partner, everything that you or anyone might want in a person. If they are a girl, you’ll view them as caring and friendly, and is always willing to be there for people, and they might seem like an articulate thinker. If they are a man, they seem trusting, and very successful in their work and finances. If they are a man, they might wear expensive clothes or an outfit that makes them look rich or financially stable, which you’ll find pretty impressive. If they are a girl, you might notice that this person seem younger or they look young for their age, they might have a petite and skinny body type too. If they are a man, they might be taller or bigger-framed or they could seem older due to the way they carry themselves.

Your future partner might view you initially as someone who has gone through a lot of heartbreak and troubles. I’m getting the vibe that this friend or feminine figure could’ve told your person about what you’ve been through, and with that information, your person will intend to be more sensitive and understanding towards you and how you feel. They might notice that you seem particularly distant or cold to them. Perhaps even not as talkative as you should be. They might try to ask you questions, but you might give them basic and short answers. It might be hard for them to get decent answers out of you, but they’ll try. They know it’s not on purpose, but it’ll make them want clarity about what you want and how you are as a person. They know that under that mask, there’s someone who is able to offer just as much as they can into a connection, and they want to know what you want from them so they can take the right action. At the same time, they’ll be understanding if it’s not the answer they are looking for. They might’ve already know initially you weren’t ready in the first place, but they wanted to take the chance. They might see you as someone who needs the recovery before stepping into a relationship anyways. This person is someone who is realistic, so even if you don’t admit it, they’ll know that you need time to heal and will let you do so.

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THEIR PERSONALITY?

This person might be similar to you; and this could be a twinflame. They are someone who has gone through similar heartbreaks, betrayals, and hardships in the past in regards to their relationships. Over time, it has caused them to be selective with who they allow into their space. However, I feel it’s different with you because you might have completely shut yourself off from the world. This person is particularly more healed than you, but they are still understanding with your situation and this might’ve been the reason why they were attracted to you (because both of y’all’s experiences are similar) I heard this person is a “sweetheart” and they have so much love to give, they might’ve been taken advantage of in the past and has developed thicker skin, but they didn’t let that get in the way of showing love to the ones they want to show love to. This person could be a water or fire sign, with a hint of earth. They are someone who is passionate about their relationships and career. They are someone who holds their ground and is confident in themselves. I heard that they hold a lot of sex appeal, and could even have a high sex drive. This person might have a pet, particularly a dog or cat they hold very dearly to. Again, this person is erringly similar to you, it’s just that they are much healed. Therefore, they understand how you feel and why you act the way you act (this person is highly empathetic) and they want to help you and be there for you because they were the same wounded soul you are at some point in their life. I feel this is what this person is coming into your life to do, this could be a twinflame, high-leveled soulmate, or karmic soulmate. You both might have some karma with each other you need to make up for. I think this person might have to make up for something they’ve did to you in a past life through this calling.

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PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?

hot; alluring; prominent hands; thick eyebrows; broader/big-framed; thick; medium-sized lips; medium-lengthened hair; birthmark; sagittarius; smaller button nose; short height; prominent eyes; aries; medium-sized nose; prominent lips; stockier body shape; 2A to 2C hair type; black hair, and a group has blonde hair; athletic body type (they probably do sports or exercise by the way); intimidating; black/brown eyes.

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WHY WILL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?

Your and your next partner might have had a relationship or connection in a past life with each other. There could some type of unfinished business or karma that needs to be fulfilled. Because of this, your next partner might feel drawn to you for no particular reason. They’ll just feel connected with your energy and want to unite with you. This person might have not been in a relationship in a long while, and they met you and feel like this is allowing them to turn on a new leaf. For a group of you, this person might’ve been someone who has cheated or played other people, but they’ve learned their lesson now, and they believe it’s time to show what they are truly capable of offering in a relationship—with you. There’s also a sense of guilt as well, I don’t know why. This person might feel obligated to show you what love is really about, or they want to prove to you that they can give you true love and understanding. I’m literally feeling like there is a karmic reason for that. They fell in love with you because they feel like you complete them, you’re their other half (twinflame vibes, I swear) They believe that it all ends with you, and you only. I’m hearing “show you the world”; they might want to travel with you and take you to places. I’m getting specifically this person might have felt lonely for a minute, and they feel like they haven’t been able to go to certain places because they don’t have anyone to go to those places with, but they feel like you are the one they can do those things with finally.

You will fall in your love with your next partner because they will introduce you to a new beginning. It is like they are giving a breath of fresh air after what you’ve been through with love. Again, I feel this person will want travel to places with you and explore. You’ll love this person’s humor and their ability to not take things seriously. You’ll love their optimistic energy and their ability to make their loved ones, including you, smile. They will get you out of your comfort shell and earn your trust. You’ll love how they are a trusting person and you can always come to them to talk about personal things. You’ll feel like you can be your unadulterated self around them without any judgment. They’ll wash away all of those limiting beliefs you have about relationships and your own worth and introduce you to a new self-concept. They might be someone who is affirming, always calling you “beautiful, “sexy” or “handsome”. They love making you feel confident, and you admire that. They want to help with healing you and you becoming a better person. You might love how they are the type to hype up your achievements and accomplishments, they might even love funding your hobbies and passions too. They might even introduce you to a new world sexually. You might not be someone who is confident enough in their sexuality, or maybe in previous relationships you never had the opportunity to express yourself sexually. This person will be happily open to that and will build up your comfortability with them to do so. A group of you, this might be your first ever relationship.

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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC?

You and your next partner will evolve and learn lessons with each other. You’ll transform and become a stronger soul with your person. You will be a powerful couple who fights through challenges and come out better than before. You and your person will be unstoppable, and no one can get into between you two. You will teach each other a lot of lessons and will not go easy on each other. I’m seeing that you both are very philosophical people, especially your partner. I feel like your partner will always want to teach lessons because they are have more experience. They are definitely older, even if it’s just by a few years. I don’t just see you guys as a good couple, but you will also be great friends. If you don’t last with this person, I see you guys being really good friends and still having love for each other. You’ll hold a special place in this person’s heart and vice versa. I also feel that this person prefers to be the dominant person in the relationship while you follow after them. Not in a controlling way, but this person just likes wearing the pants. They are very collaborative though. This dynamic is also very sexual, I see a lot of experimentation and a lot of sexual activity. Sexual chemistry. You both will feel comfortable with each other to where you want to do everything with this person. You’ll want to learn and explore a lot of things with them. This person will introduce you to a lot of things. For a group of you, this could be your first relationship. I think I said this already lol.

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POTENTIAL PROBLEMS?

From the feminine’s side, most likely you, it’s possible that you might struggle with self-confidence and self-love with this person. There might be times where you might even distrust this person due to past relationships. This person will not be okay with this and would want to encourage you to be more comfortable enough with them to confide in them. Lack of trust can ruin a relationship just as easily. Perhaps there could also be an issue with moving on from a previous person or situation from either side, if it’s from your person’s side, it could be about a lifestyle or situation; if it’s your side, it could be about a person. I’m getting a vibe that your person might be someone who can be a bit reckless and careless when it comes how they approach people. For some of you, this person might be extremely attractive and there could be times where you are jealous of the attention they get, in a sense you’re afraid they are going to want fulfillment elsewhere. I do not see that being true, I think it’s just your insecurities. However, this person might need to learn how to be more considerate about how you feel and learn how to approach people in a more stoic way to build more security in the relationship. Because I see this person being extremely generous and easygoing, which is a nice trait to have in a lover, but not when you are in a relationship with someone else and you can easily lead someone on without knowing. I also see that one of you might be a bit confused about what type of future they want to have, which can start a very heated argument. Perhaps one wants a family, but one wants to travel the world and wants dog babies lol. Either way, there needs to be a compromise.

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LESSONS YOU WILL LEARN FROM EACH OTHER

Your next partner will learn how to surrender to the divine and have faith in things. Your partner might’ve been someone in the past who was rather stubborn and wanted to make things happen for themselves (which is good) but in this case, they didn’t like others being in control of what they wanted in life and they might’ve not thought that anyone can be trusted to give them happiness or contentment. However, you taught them different. You’ve taught them to put trust into the unknown and put trust into the people they care about. To trust they won’t get hurt. I feel like your person might’ve done the things they’ve did in the past out of self-sabotage and pride. You’ve taught them to also stop running away from their problems, and to take them face on. This is specific, but you could’ve also taught them the value of love, and how truly abundant it is. Your person could’ve been a workaholic or a money-dependent person in the past. This person might stop working less when they are with you because they’ve found someone they can truly be content with, invest in, and build a future with.

This person will teach you about different aspects of yourself you never would’ve thought of, take you to places you never would’ve taken yourself. They are a vital part of your soul journey, and will help you with your life purpose. They’ll teach you how to trust others more often, open your heart up, and express yourself in ways you’ve always wanted to (whether that be artistically, sexually, spiritually, etc.) They might even help with you with learning how to physically and verbally show love to people. How to not hold back when it comes to your love and emotions for other people. They’ll teach you that even in times of desperation, need, tragedy, and destruction, you’ll always have the chance to leap into something new, like them and this relationship. Your person will teach you that your most desired and ideal things can come true because this person is what you’ve always wanted and they’re here. They’ll let you know that you’re capable of becoming the person you want to be. This person is truly someone from heaven I believe. You’ll feel extremely grateful for this person and thank the Gods for them after all. ㅤ

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A song that came through for this pile:

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୨୧ pile three ୨୧

WHEN AND WHERE WILL YOU BOTH MEET?

You will meet your person at a place you might see them everyday in or an environment that is intended to be a place that brings in prosperity or a secure future for yourself. This could be work, college, or high school. This person could be an acquaintance or an associate. I’m mostly seeing college and work for this pile, most of you could be young adults, if not, older teenagers. I’m getting this vibe of a regular college student struggling to make ends meet and just trying to study for their degree and graduate. You might meet your person around a time where you exactly do that, you’re working hard to bring in abundance and success for yourself. Starting from scratch type of energy. You might be hustling or working multiple jobs at once, or juggling a job and school at the same time. However, I see there could be some lack of clarity about what you want to do in regards to your passion or career endeavor. I just see you preparing financially for the future, but not exactly working towards a certain career. Some of you could be freshmen or sophomores in college who don’t know what degree they want to major in yet. I’m just seeing stagnancy and confusion. You might particularly meet your person at a job or in school. If you meet them at a job, they could be your boss or manager. If you meet them at school, they could be a student just like you, but they seem more aware of where they want to go in life. I see this person being like a mentor to you, helping and guiding you to the right path. You might go to this person from time to time to ask them questions about your aspirations and personal decisions. This person will help you out of that confusion and guide you into calmer waters; and this can be the case if this is a boss or manager, or even a teacher at your college. I feel like your person will being balance into your life by doing this because you know you’ll have someone to come to to help you through these tough adult decisions. This person may be older, or they could be mature for their age. This connection could start off strictly as friends, and the friendship is full of intimacy and emotion. You both will care for each other extremely. I feel like your partner will love to comfort and reassure you that no matter what you do, you’ll always be okay and come out of it. You might be someone who stresses over decisions or you struggle to make decisions on your own out of the fear of “messing up”. This connection will slowly develop over time, which are the best type of relationships.

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS?

I feel like for most of you, this is your first relationship, or first serious relationship.

Your person might perceive you as someone who is timid and shy. They might believe that you are someone who struggles to assert or defend themselves in dire situations. They could believe you lack the confidence or courage to stand up on your own, and they want you to work on that because they see you as someone who has a whole lot of potential to accomplish great things. They see you as someone who is intelligent and hardworking. However, they believe the potential is all going to waste because you’re not fighting for what you want unapologetically and head-on. They don’t want you to depend on outside influences to know if you should go after what you want. For some of you, this person might’ve seen you get bullied or teased on by peers in some way at your school or job. Due to that, they could feel a responsibility of having to protect you or teach you a lesson about assertion. They also noticed that you seem wise beyond your years. They might’ve compared you to other people your age and admired that quality about you. This person is probably older than you for most of you. They might see you as anti-social or someone who rather keeps to themselves. It is possible that they don’t see you talk to people so often, so they assume you prefer your solitude. They perceive as someone who is always working and serious. There’s always something that could be trying to improve on. They also see you as disciplined on the first impression. They could also perceive you as someone who is abandoned often, or struggles to maintain connections with people due to your hermit-like personality. They believe you should break out of that, and it’ll be detrimental to you in the long run. They also perceive you as someone with a good heart and good morals. Your person believes you prioritize being a decent person, you’re always willing to accept, love, and be fair to everyone unconditionally.

You will perceive your next partner as someone who hold a lot of knowledge and solutions. They seem to know it all, and always know what they are doing. I’m also getting this vibe that you might even look up to or idolize this person. You’ll view this person as enchanting, you might even be very sexually or physically attracted to this person. Perhaps you would want to talk to them more at your job or at school. You just want to learn more about them. They will seem very interesting to you. If I have to be honest, this seems a bit unhealthy because it’s like you literally look up to this person to the point where they could make you do anything you want them to do and you’ll do it. We’ll just see soon in the reading if i’m right or not. This person might be someone who is above you in some way. Again, they could be a boss or manager, perhaps a teacher at your school or college. They will be highly respected and appreciated in their career or workplace. Something like that. Okay guys, I think I’m right. For a decent group of you, I’m getting strong unhealthy vibes. There is a possibility that some of you could have some attachment or abandonment issues from your childhood that could cause you to get abnormally tied to this person. Your person might take advantage of that and get extremely possessive over you. Be careful with this person, for most of you. Also, please heal whatever you struggle with. Whether that be father/mother issues or abandonment issues, please heal that wound so you don’t attract this person. I’m saying this because they don’t give me the best vibes to be honest. I heard this person will take you on a “hellride” if you stay with them, I’m not kidding. However, for another group of you, your partner could just be a student at your college, and I don’t see bad vibes from them. But the other group of you, yeah, stay safe.

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THEIR PERSONALITY?

This person could be great with children and extremely humble. I feel like they are always giving to others; they might even do charity. They could be financially well-off to do all of that, perhaps they come from a wealthy family or they worked to become wealthy. They might even want a family in the future. Your person is someone who could be rather impulsive and quick-minded. They could be someone who never knows how to stay still, one day there are at one place, one day they are at another. They might love going out to places for the excitement. This person is always searching for the next big thing. For a group of you, you and this person could pursue a long-distance relationship. I said that because you might text them very often than physically be there. This person has a lot of courage, strength, bravery, and confidence. They aren’t afraid to stand up for themselves and they refuse to back down. One could describe them as stubborn and they might love taking the lead in things. I’m hearing they “are in control of their destiny”. I feel they are someone who wants a lot of things out of life, so they strive to go after it all. I’m hearing you shouldn’t expect this person to stay one place at all times, they are going to move and be everywhere. Guides probably told me that because you might not like that. This person is lucky. They might be someone who started from the bottom and build something amazing that they are so grateful for. For one or two of you, this person could have won the lottery (That was random) Due to the fact they know what’s it’s like, they love giving back to the people. Strong sagittarius vibes.

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PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?

you might see this person’s back very often; shorter hair; brown/black hair; medium or short height; big/chubby; pear-shaped body; sagittarius; medium-sized lips; stockier; thick; freckles; pixie cut; joyous smile; feminine-looking; hats and caps; prominent hips; tall height for some of you; virgo; one of you, this person could have a back problem like scoliosis or something.

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WHY WILL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?

I’m getting the vibe that your next partner might have gotten married before and is a divorcee. They might even have a child, I was getting that hint when I was reading their personality. They will fall in love with you because they feel like can have a fresh start with someone new, they might want to marry you for a new beginning. This person feels guilty about something, about their past marriage. This person wants to break free from the guilt they have? For a group of you, it is possible this person could’ve been toxic in their past marriage, and now they are trying to break from the shackles of their remorse for how they they treated their partner. If that is the case, for most of you, they are still the same. Stepping into that connection will only promise deception, control, and immense order. I see them being emotionally and psychologically abusive. For another group of you, this person was in a toxic marriage with a person and is trying to start over and break free from the trauma. Either way, this person will want to step into marriage with you to build more fortune and abundance with you (although it’s pretty concerning how they are so quick to thinking about marriage, personally) They see you have lots of potential and want to build something with you, they want to be a team. For half of you, this person is toxic; for another half, this person is healthy. Sorry if this reading seems very contradicting, there’s probably a lot of people in this pile.

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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC?

You and your next partner’s relationship dynamic could be modest and humble. I feel like you would be the type of couple to give back to others. You or your partner, or both could be financially stable enough to be charitable and humanitarians. Being with each other will be very transformative, you will both dig into each other’s psyche and figure out each other’s dark side. If this relationship is toxic, I have a feeling that your partner could be someone who has a tendency of being tyrannical. They could be the type to tell you when you should come home or leave the house, or even tell you what to wear. Strong controlling vibes. In extreme cases for a few of you, you might even financially depend on this person, and they can use that financial superiority to keep you under their control. For this group of people, your partner seems so abusive, I’m sorry, I don’t want to say that. God bless. This relationship will truly you teach you things about yourself you need to realize and fix so you don’t find yourself in this predicament ever again. This person could be karmic or twin flame, for sure. This person will dig dark parts out of you through their toxic actions. I feel like when you are in this connection, you’ll be in the most lowest and darkest point you’ve ever been. However, if you leave, I see this relationship being the sole event that will allow you to transform and blossom into an entirely brand new person like a phoenix.

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POTENTIAL PROBLEMS?

I see that for the group of you that aren’t going to be in the toxic relationship. Again, your person might be someone who is always moving around and always looking for the next big thing. Guides gave me the hint you won’t like that, so you and your partner might argue about that particularly. It seems as though no matter where your partner goes and what they do, you could never catch up, and that will not help the future. Perhaps long-distance will be an issue too. You might not trust your person with long-distance probably, and they will be frustrated with the fact. This person could be pretty questionable with their whereabouts for three of you, and you should confront them because infidelity is possible. However, for the rest of you in this group, this person should be able to value their freedom, at the same time, they should learn how to compromise to your wishes equally. For the toxic group, this person will have extremely control issues, I’m not joking. They will literally treat you like a child. I wouldn’t even be surprised if some of you had a father or mother who were controlling or abusive like them. It’s like they will be a tyrannical authority figure to you. They could also ruin your self-confidence if you let them, because I see some co-dependency on your side. You’re also showing some toxicity. You need to learn how to not depend on the opposite gender for validation or confidence, especially if they are older. This relationship probably won’t even seem romantic, it’ll be more professional because there’s a lack of chemistry or compatibility.

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LESSONS YOU WILL BOTH LEARN FROM EACH OTHER?

For the toxic group, I heard alcohol. This person might be an alcoholic or drink very often. You might teach this person about temperance and knowing how to balance their alcohol intake. I feel like you will teach this person a lesson about their toxicity. You will make them realize that the things they do to their partners will only make their karma and reality worse. I wouldn’t even be surprised if they drunk a lot to wash away the guilt for the violence in their past relationships. This person will definitely have an epiphany after this connection ends, they’ll realize what they lost and they’ll strive to become better (just hopefully not with you because you’ll probably be through with them) This person might even have mental health/trauma issues and they could have avoided counseling or help in some way for a long time. I feel after this connection, they’ll take time to recover and actually find the help they need. They’ll be out of the dating scene of a significant amount of time. There could some insecurity issues or trauma from their childhood that has led them to that point. For the healthy group, you will simply teach your partner about balance with indulgence. Perhaps they are a bit impulsive with money or they are always moving everywhere and can never find days to settle down and relax. You’ll teach that they can find freedom in other places other than what they’ve been doing to find it. Perhaps they could resort to work very often and you are going to teach them to find freedom and comfort in family and connections.

For the people with the toxic partner, this person will definitely scare you away from relationships for a while. I would not be surprised if they were physically abusive from time to time (I hope not) but you will also take time to heal and step out of the dating scene. You will learn how to stand up for yourself and not let yourself get taken advantage of by others because of how easily a rut you can get yourself into. You might even get offered romantic dates after this connection, but reject them, which is beneficial for your journey when the time comes. You’ll learn to stand your ground and build your own foundation without the need of anyone else’s. You’ll realize that depending on somebody else will only lead to your demise and failure. Leaving this connection will give you a breath of fresh air and allow you to rebirth yourself into a new energy. For people in a healthy relationship in this pile, you’ll learn how to trust and confide in your significant other. To let your guard down and trust that things will happen the way it should. Trust your person.

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A song that came through for this pile:

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୨୧ pile four ୨୧

WHEN AND WHERE WILL YOU BOTH MEET?

You’ll meet your next partner at a time where you want to step out of your usual and work on your confidence. You and your future partner might meet in school or in a busy environment. I’m getting grocery store for a specific person in this pile. I have a feeling that someone, probably you, will be approaching the other person for a romantic opportunity out of the blue, because of love at first sight or just for the sake of doing it. Perhaps a friend that is with you will encourage you to do so. This friend might be confident, expressive, extroverted, and passionate—quite the opposite from you. People who chose this pile might be on the shy or inhibited side, and i’m getting a vibe that this friend or person with you at the moment will motivate you to step out of your shell and ask this person out for “practice” (or vice versa) I see you being hesitant and afraid. This person may play hard to get. However, I’m seeing you taking this as them full on rejecting you because I see you being someone who is insecure and takes everything as a personal attack. You’re quite literal and might not pick on cues as well as others. You might think this person does not like you or come off as mean or unapproachable, but it’s far from that. I see them giving you mixed signals on purpose. This person will like you, but they might be iffy on if they want something serious with you because they could have some emotional and personal turmoil stopping them from deciding. I see them giving you their number or some kind of contact. I do see you feeling a bit ridiculous from this first interaction, you’ll think you made an embarrassment of yourself. When in reality, they literally like you. Your friend will probably ramble about how you shoot your shot perfectly and you’re over there panicking thinking you did something wrong, lol. Most of the people in this pile may be males or masculine energies. (Perhaps one or two of you could be neurodivergent)

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS?

Your first impression of your next partner is that they come off as domineering and strong. You might be intimidated by them when you both first meet. You might even stumble on your words. They hold a lot of masculine energy. You could’ve approached this person with a need to expand your horizons and get out of you shell, but when you finally talk to them, you’ll want to recoil back into your shell because they are frightening. Some of you could have social anxiety or struggle in social situations. You’ll feel timid around this person and not be as communicative with the fear that you’ll say something wrong. I also see some self-sabotaging tendencies. You’ll find that you will see some good things about this person, like they are almost too good to be true. You might be someone who struggles to find positivity in some aspects of life, and you might try to find things about this person you won’t like so you’ll have a reason to leave them. However, that’s just your confidence issues getting in the way. For some of you, I’m also taking this “self-sabotaging” as you trying to ignore the red flags of this person, in a sense they have some issues they need to work on. I don’t see them being flat-out toxic, I just see they’ve through some things.

Your next partner’s first impression of you is that you come off as distant and detached. It is ironic, you both have similar first impressions of each other. However, on your partner’s side, they aren’t necessarily intimidated by you and they have some limiting beliefs about you that came from their past connections. They believe that you come off as expressionless or stoic, as though you don’t necessarily show much emotion. Which makes it hard for them to pick up on how you feel or respond. They do sense that you aren’t the most confident, and they adore how awkward you are. And that might’ve given them confidence to play hard to get and give you their number when you asked them out. Again, this person might underwent some relationship problems in the past. I’m seeing particularly cheating or people taking advantage of them for their materials, status, or looks. Something like that. I’m hearing specifically that someone might have been an energy vampire or they “leeched” off their resources, basically partners who depended emotionally or financially in them. They might think that you are the same way and you’re just like them. That’s why I see this person just keeping you around for fun at first. They might seem quite indifferent to you for a while as well. If they are girl, I see them just having an extremely damaged feminine. And they might be very successful. They might be hot and cold with you at the start.

THEIR PERSONALITY?

This person may be an older, much successful woman. They are someone who is passionate and goal-driven, almost no one can get in the way of what they want to do. They are someone who is independent, who makes reality happen for themselves. I’m hearing this person could’ve been in an orphanage. They could be in the military. Strong person for sure, mentally and physically. They’ve been through it all. I’m hearing that they’ve truly built themselves to where they are now and they plan to not let anyone ruin that for themselves (as they should, to be honest) This person might have a knack of attracting people who leech off of their success or energy, and they’ve learned to properly hand out their energy to people who will use it wisely and treat them correctly. This person is extremely giving and humble, as they grew up in an environment in which they expected modesty and generosity from others. “You can’t tell this woman nothing” I don’t know why I heard that, lol. This person’s love language is definitely physical touch, they love sexual contact. That could be something that heals them when it’s with the right person. However, this person is someone who has some issues to work on. They could struggle with being verbal and communicative. And they need to work on that to attract and build healthy relationships. Again, this person can be a bit wishy-washy too. They don’t know what they want in a true partner or they can depend on certain acts to make them feel better, such as sexual activity.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?

Red hair; strong or muscular body; petite/dainty body; piercing (i’m seeing specifically an ear piercing); prominent shoulders (perhaps they are broad); wrinkles; gemini; pisces; aquarius; prominent waist; black hair; RBF; freckles; dark/brown skin; 4A to 4C hair type; medium height; athletic.

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WHY WILL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?

I’m hearing that you guys might not be particularly in love with each other, I just see infatuation or extreme admiration/respect for each other. However, there are things you adore about one another.

You will love how well-rounded and talented your person is. I’m seeing they are someone who has been through a lot in life, and because of that, they’ve learned to acquire different kinds of skills and abilities that you admire and look up to. If you are a guy into girls, I see you seeing this girl as the queen she is. You’ll be grateful for her. You’ll feel as though you truly caught a dime. They’ll also make you feel better about yourself as a person. They might be older or more wiser than you so they might teach you a couple of things, and knowing you are with them out of all people with boost your confidence because a lot of people might want them for their character. You’ll also feel the need to protect them as well. You’ll truly feel you have became the better version of yourself with them. You guys might travel a little bit. I see this person being physically gone a lot, again, this person could be in the military or have a job where they are gone a lot. And you’ll miss them dearly. You’ll admire their perseverance. You’ll feel this person is too good to be true and you’ll feel as though you don’t deserve them, and that’s when the self-sabotage comes in.

It seems to me they’ll love how understanding you are. Even though they could struggle with communicating, you seem to know what’s wrong with them and you try your hardest to help them. It seems like they’ve always needed someone who was patient with them, helpful to them, and you’re here. They feel as though you are one less burden in their life, and that they can depend on you when they need it the most. You take the pressure off of them. They might love how good you are with physical intimacy as well, and how you are communicative in that aspect of the connection. They love how awkward and shy you are as well. They adore how you don’t like that much attention on yourself and you always let others take the spotlight, but they believe you are intelligent and capable and deserve it as times too. They love your modesty as well. They also love their goofiness and how weird you are! You might have weird hobbies, and they find that special about you.

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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC?

This person might’ve been used to toxic and draining relationships, and they might step into this connection with a bit of baggage and toxic traits. However, I see them healing while being with you and getting themselves into a better energy. You’ll be helpful to them, you’ll be like their safe haven, and assure them that you are far from their other partners. You might not be this person’s usual type, or you’re far different from their past relationships. And this is something new to them. You’ll be patient with them person, and you might need to deal with their stubbornness but I feel you’ll take care of them and fight through with them. I see a lot of passion, hard work, and sexual energy in this relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a short-term relationship or a long-term relationship that doesn’t last. There is a lot of infatuation but friendship and teamwork. You guys might move around a lot, or you might come along with this person to their job since they could be gone very often. You’ll always be there for them and you might’ve promised that to them. They’ll be like a teacher to you. They’ll let you know on certain lessons and skills they’ve acquired from what they’ve been through. You might be younger, perhaps in your early 20’s when you meet and deal with this person, and they could be in their mid to late 20’s. For some of you, this person could be in their 30’s. You both might exercise and do physical activity a lot, whatever that be may be, lol.

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POTENTIAL PROBLEMS?

In the beginning, this person might play games and try to play you off as a fling or as a casual partner. They may or may not be playing with other options when they meet you, and they might not tell you in the beginning because they didn’t see you seriously in the first place. This might get annoying for you, you might not be the most assertive person, but I see you stepping up this person and telling them what you want from this connection and standing your ground. This person might not be used to that, and allow you to have what you want for the sake of seeing what happens. I feel one or both of you could have a mother wound—for you, this could’ve caused to be someone who is emotional and quite vulnerable to people you’ve just meet; and for them, this could’ve caused them to be workaholics and distracting themselves as well as shoving their emotions down and not expressing them. This person might have hyper-independence issues, all due to pride and what they’ve been used to for all their life. They’ve been used to partners who depended them and had to work to where they are themselves. They could also be a bit nasty and domineering at times, always wanting the upper hand.

LESSONS YOU WILL BOTH LEARN FROM EACH OTHER?

Your next partner will learn to have confidence in the success of their connections, and to not expect their love life to go to disaster all the time because I’m hearing that they attract what they believe to be true. They could be a strong manifestors. They’ll also learn to cooperation and teamwork, learning how to work with others and not try to take over all the time. They’ll learn to be less hasty and to be more reflective and slow in their approach to what they do with others and their life. To always come to their loved ones and ask what they want before they make the decision. They’ll also learn how to be more open to romantic offers and take chances, because they’ll never know if they would have met their soulmate if they accepted that one person’s date. They’ll also explore their options in love for commitment from now on, and not for casualness or flings. Lastly, they’ll learn how to be intuitive with their money choices. Their hastiness problem could be about money or financial decisions. Some of you guys may get married, and they might have a problem with buying certain things without your permission.

The lessons you’ll learn from your next partner is to learn how to protect your loved ones more and assert in situations in which is necessary. You’ll be protective of your partner and learn how to establish yourself, especially if you are the man in the relationship. You won’t take any crap anymore and hold close what’s dear to you. You’ll also learn to be more grateful for your life and circumstances because there’s people who have been through far worse and you’ll be more open-minded towards how people act and think and understand that how you grew up and the experiences they’ve had determines that. You perhaps might be in a better career when you are with this person for some reason. They could’ve help in some way in regards to your skill or abilities or connections. You’ll learn to establish yourself more in your confidence too, and know how to lead yourself to better place personally because this person has been through it all to know how as well.

A song that came through for this pile:

୨୧ pile five ୨୧

WHEN AND WHERE WILL YOU BOTH MEET?

You’ll meet your next partner during a time of stagnation, a period of confusion or stillness. You might not exactly know why you feel this way when the time comes, but this person will appear. This person might be someone you know already. For some of you, this could be an ex-partner; and for some of you, this could be someone from your childhood or adolescence. You might hear about this person before you meet them officially. I heard “tabloids”, this person could be making a name for themselves in some way, and this’ll cause for you to know about them before you actually see them. This person may be an aspiring artist, socialite, influencer or entrepreneur. You might officially meet this person at a family reunion, they could be a family friend, or a sibling’s friend? Either way, I feel you don’t want to deal with this person when they come back. It is possible that if this is an ex-partner, you might have left them due to a lack of commitment or effort in the connection. I’m getting mostly from your side, but it could be theirs too. If it’s on their side, they might have had a lot of romantic options due to their physical attractiveness or status at the time, and left. You may or may not have a child with them. I see you not wanting to have any connection with this person anymore, not wanting to hold the burdens or karma you have with them. However, that long period of stagnation you had is because of the underlying karma you have to resolve with this person, which makes me think this is a karmic partner. They could be a fatherly figure in some way, so yeah, they might have a child. I’m giving “from scratch” type of energy. For another group of you, you could’ve broken up with this person due to their aspirations and their desire to become who they want to be. Perhaps you thought their aspirations were too unserious for the future, or they let their aspirations get in the way of the connection.

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS?

Your next partner could view you as someone who is receptive, calm, and easygoing. You’re not the one to argue, yell or shout. It’s easy to talk to you. They view you as someone who is delicate and deliberate in their actions. I’m also hearing “quiet”. They think you are nurturing, emotional, accepting, and caring. Again, you might have a kid with this person. They might view you as family-oriented, which makes think this could be a family reunion of some sort. However, on the other hand, they view you as someone who is restless, but also avoidant. I mean restless in a sense that you are always conscious of your surroundings and how you appear. You might not want to talk and try to deliberately avoid them, for whatever reason. They also see you meditative, always reflecting on things.

Again, I’m getting this vibe that this person might an aspiring artist, influencer or whatever, and you might see them visibly making a name for themselves. Getting off of their feet and becoming secure and successful. Or if not, you see them becoming more well-off and taking up a secure job. You’ll see this, but I see a bit of stubbornness or a grudge towards them for some reason. You would still view this person as immature, wishy-washy and chaotic. You can see them as dreamy and creative, but also always in their head. You see them as someone who struggles to live in reality and actually take action to do things. You could also see them as delusional and deceptive. I’m getting for some of you, this person could have been unfaithful or extremely confusing in the relationship. Deep inside, you will be proud of this person, but I see you still remembering the past. You’ll believe that what this person is doing is incredible, but doesn’t change the past. This person may be younger or have a youthful energy. You might have went to school with this person, grew up with them.

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THEIR PERSONALITY?

First thing I heard is that this person is very charming and humorous. They know how to grab attention of everyone when they step into the room. They carry strong energy that could be intimidating to some people. They might be bigger in physical frame or just carry large energy if that makes sense. They are definitely an enterprising and social person. They could be good at networking and making tons of connections with people. They might be popular or just know how to get along well with others. They are probably not the most smart academically, but they are definitely street smart. They might’ve not gotten their school diploma, they could have gotten a GED instead. This person could love being the center of attention, and they can be a bit superficial at times. For one of you, this person might have some slight issues with the law. I’m not seeing this big crime, just like a small misdemeanor or something. This person could be someone who is extremely determined to get what they want in life, and they might even be willing to get what they want if they have to abandon people. This might’ve been what happened with you two.

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PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?

virgo; broader/big-framed in body type; chubbier in body type; prominent eyes, hips, waist, and lips; freckles: innocent-looking; bushy eyebrows; birthmark; bigger nose; acne

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WHY WILL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?

Your next partner will fall in love with you because of your receptiveness, quietness, “purity”, and sweetness. You could be a kind and delightful person. They’ve always admired you and they thought about you until the day comes you meet again. They also love how you care for the ones you care about, especially their kid if you both have a child together. They might also love the fact that you wear dresses or skirts. I also feel like there is a sense of guilt for what they did in the past too, they might have used and left you for career gain or played you. They’ll admire how even though they have became successful, you still treat them as the same person they were before they were successful. You bring them back to earth about who they really are. It’s make them want to share the popularity and wealth with you, especially if you both have a family to take care of. They want to create more ventures with you on the sidelines. They want you to be their motivation, and they want to make it up to you in anyway possible.

First off, I’m getting you’ll fall in love with your next partner because they had a glow-up, lol. Whether that being physically or mentally, you will fall in love with the new them. They might have new money or status, and you’ll find that very attractive now. You’ll love how they are a completely recharged and grown person when you see them again. Perhaps you might seem them on social media or in public actively working on themselves, attending counseling, or just doing things you never would have thought they would do. You’ll feel as though you can start something new and different with this person than you couldn’t do in the past, and I’m also hearing you can “forgive and move on”. You might have gone though a deep depression because of this person’s wrongdoings, and getting closure was exactly what you needed. You’ll admire how they never forgot about you, and came back to pay their dues. You might also love how picky they are with who they let around them now, especially how because of their newfound fame or success, and they are much serious now.

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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC?

I’m seeing this relationship with your next partner (or ex) being a sequel to the last time you’ve had a connection with them. Previously in the connection, this partner was reckless and immature, and just someone not to have anything serious with. They were probably selfish and didn’t want to take care of their real responsibilities like their kid (if they have one with you) or the future of the relationship and not getting a real job. Now, they’ve accomplished what they’ve aspired to be, and came back to prove to you that they are worthwhile. You both might have been teen parents for some of you, might’ve struggled financially and dealt with money problems. This person had other goals in mind rather than getting a stable job to secure the family (like aspiring to be in an unconventional career) Now, you both are bathing in luxury, and are able to do the things you both weren’t able to do when younger. You guys are also exclusive—is also what I’m hearing. You are both serious and protective of each other, more likely if this person is famous, or at least popular on a platform. I’m also seeing this relationship being a rather private type of connection, like everyone knows you’re together but you both rather not tell anything about what’s going on in between you guys because you might feel it’s better that way. I’m also seeing this dynamic of you both trying to build a stronger relationship with your child, especially the masculine figure or father. The father might’ve not been around as much earlier. The father might try to help the child with their confidence, assertiveness or self-esteem. I see this relationship being a young type of love, you both might still be on the younger side, which isn’t a bad thing by the way.

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POTENTIAL PROBLEMS?

I’m not seeing any particular problems between you and them. However, I do see people in your environment trying to create a problem in your relationship with this person. There could be hate or jealousy in the media trying to push you away from your person, and this might make you feel hopeless and scared, as though you cannot get through this. I even see people trying to humiliate or embarrass you in some way. Such as posting pictures of you out on social media, or sending hate comments. You and your partner are truly a force to be reckoned with, your bond is truly strong because you’ve known each other for so long and no one know you better than this person and vice versa. True soulmate energy. This could be a karmic soulmate. You guys always agree on things. When your person notices the hate getting to you, they will feel terrible and angry because you are probably someone who is usually resilient, strong and calm, but they will hate how the media or the people broke you down, and they are going to want to put a stop to it. I am also seeing a issue with the child too, if it’s not you. The child might be experiencing bullying in school or on the media, and you and your partner—especially you, you’re going to probably be ticked—are going to do whatever is best to make sure your kid is safe (aw, i’m going to cry)

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LESSONS YOU WILL BOTH LEARN FROM EACH OTHER?

I feel your partner will learn the art of true love, stability, and commitment. They’ll learn to be a good parent and a better lover. The lesson of structure and order is also coming through, learning how to properly build a foundation not just for themself, but for others. They’ll learn to be more selfless and less flaky as well. This person will learn to work hard for their dreams and to have faith as they’ll know that everything will come together. Lastly, they’ll know that family comes first before anything, and to learn how to prioritize family even at the expense of their own wants. They’ll be more mature and rational, learn how to make decisions that are the best for them and everyone around them, and communicate their desires so everyone can be happy.

The lessons you’ll learn from your partner is that your dreams need a practical plan, so if you’re actually the person who had the dream of becoming an aspiring influencer or whatever, this could be for you. You’ll also learn how to meditate on making the right decisions for yourself instead of going off of your emotions and making some mistakes. Perhaps leaving this person was a huge mistake you’ve had based off of how you felt at the time. You’ll truly bask in abundance and luck with this person, and have faith when one says they have a goal to achieve, even if it’s “outlandish” or “impossible”. You’ll learn to be more supportive to people who want to achieve something, and look on the bright side of things.

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A song that came through for this pile:

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୨୧ pile six ୨୧

WHEN AND WHERE WILL YOU BOTH MEET?

I’m getting that for most of you, you might’ve left a toxic relationship or family environment. This particular person or group of people has led you to intense depression, despair, and stagnation. You might feel as though you are stuck, but I see that you are trying your best to turn over a new leaf and start your life over again with a new mindset. I see hurt and betrayal. You might be isolating yourself around the time you meet this person. I feel like you’ve been through enough and you just want to be to yourself, but I feel like this isolation might get out of hand because I see you diving into a further depression. This person could be a toxic or bad ex trying to slither back into your life (Sorry, that’s what I’m getting) I see you having your guard up, trying to have some self-love for yourself and push them away, as you should. However, I feel that you are not healed and you might give in to your feelings, and I see you taking them back. Please know your worth and set boundaries, even if it seems like you can’t. This person will physically try to move their way back into your life. I am getting this feeling that you might need to get a restraining order on this person, it’s giving huge stalker/harassment energy. They are like a mosquito who doesn’t know when to quit. I’m seeing that if you don’t want to attract this person back into your life, you need to successfully focus on your self-worth and set strict boundaries, no matter how persuaded or allured you may feel. This is because I see you giving in to this person because of loneliness or you feeling comfortable in their energy only, like you’re only used to them. I’m seeing that they might try to physically come to your home and ask to be in your life again. You might say no at first, but they might try to come back over and over until you say yes. Again, you should get a restraining order or something on them if that’s the case.

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS?

Your next partner, mostly if this is an ex, will view you as someone who is easily to manipulate. I feel like they might come back because they know you’ll take them back. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t have any family or loved ones to depend on, and you’re on your own. They probably think that they are all you have. It is possible you may have a child with them, or you financially depend on them. They could even try to manipulate you with their money to control you. You might not have a job, or you might not be in the best place materialistically, and they are feeding off that. “Obtuse”. They think you are someone who is stubborn and always wants their own way in things. You don’t like following directions and you prefer to do things the way you want to do it. They view you as unconventional or weird in the way you go about things. You are believed to be imaginative, wanting a lot of things but may be unable to do some because of your circumstances. You might creative and artistic as well, they notice that. They think you are physically beautiful and know how to take care of yourself in that sense. You might have a pet? A pet cat, bird, or puppy. They believe you to be an animal lover, and you’ll do anything for your pet (If you have one) They could also think you’re “prissy”.

You’ll view your next partner as very successful and financially independent. You might notice that they could have a lot of financial outlets, they could take up multiple jobs or careers. They might be hardworking person in that aspect. You’ll view them as someone who has worked their way up from nothing. This person might have came from poverty and built an living for themselves in some way. You may respect them for that as well. You admire the fact they climbed to where they are. You seem to always be sure of themselves, and that’s because they couldn’t had a childhood where they had to make decisions for themselves and trust no one else. You could be inspired by them in a sense too.

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THEIR PERSONALITY?

Firstly, your next partner is someone who is manipulative in a way they know how to turn things around to make it happen in their favor. They are strong and intelligent, who knows how to get people to work with them. If something doesn’t go their way, they won’t stop until it does, which makes them very stubborn and difficult to get along with at times I see. They are someone who always has a chip on their shoulder, they don’t like learning from their mistakes because they believe everything they do is what they should do and is the perfect decision. I wouldn’t be surprised if an argument with this person is a headache. They are a mentally strong person, and they are brave. However, this person obviously has some issues to tend to. This is far fetched, but for one of two of you, this person may be narcissistic or have narcissistic tendencies. They may have a sex drive, and could have a some emotional or anger issues. They seem spiritually undeveloped and impaired. They definitely need some grounding and shadow work. This person is very successful. They could do work in construction, repair, or something that is physically demanding. They may repair cars? This is random, and I hope this isn’t true, but for a couple of you, this person may not have the best sexual health or fertility. I’m getting Capricorn energy. This person may appear like a calm and reserved person on the first impression to other people. Someone who appears as though they are trusting and safe. This person may have a job where they help people such as a doctor, etc. This person is a very structural, they love things to be orderly and properly set. This person may be organized.

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PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?

capricorn; piercings (for one or two of you); medium/smaller nose; stockier or lean body type; upturned nose; brown skin, arched eyebrows; different race, culture, or ethnicity; facial hair; prominent thighs or breasts; 3A to 3C hair type; libra: scary-looking; younger (or appears younger)

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WHY WILL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?

There’s two ways this can go: This person is not in love with you but rather infatuated with you; or they are in love with you, but when you are wounded and broken, you can’t expect yourself to love someone properly. And I feel like you both are broken people, and what you attract is what you are. I feel like you and this person may have some similar past traumas or personal issues that can attract you both to each other, especially on their side. They subconsciously admire that about you. This person may be someone who does exude narcissistic traits, and you may exude more self-effacing traits. Their traumas and psychological issues match yours, and it attracts you both to each other. They admire how fast-minded you are, you have an innovative mindset and you always come up with ideas that are mind-blowing to them. They find you intelligent and “adventurous”, you may want to travel or explore the world at some point. I’m hearing that love your beauty, once again. They admire how you physically carry yourself. You might love getting your nails done, doing your hair, and wearing certain clothes. I see physical attraction for sure. They might admire that you care so much about your physical, and they might feel the need to spoil you or spend money on your upkeep yourself.

This person’s energy to you is almost addicting. It’s like you know this person isn’t good for you, but you can’t help but come back. I feel the reasons why you love this person is coming from your ego and wounds. You might admire how aggressive this person is, you might be the type to like angering them because you like the rush of seeing them upset. There could some sexual reasons as to why you like this about them. They also might like seeking aggressive and conflict in between you two. You might financially depend on this person, and you might admire how you can trust them with that part of your life. You really need to have respect for yourself, truly. I feel like this attachment to this person will only make you more unhappy and unhealthy in the long run. You might even be aware that this person could be cheating, but you still stay anyways because you refuse to leave them. This just feels like desperation and addiction to be honest. I just see your health and enthusiasm for life plummeting with this person. This person may be married. You’ll adore their charisma and sexual attractiveness. This person could physically attractive to you, they may be on the muscular and stronger side if they are a man. You love getting their attention because it helps with your self-esteem, or least it seems that way to you.

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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC?

This person may be the type to love introduce new ideologies, belief systems, and different perceptions of the world to you. You both may love going on vacation with each other, and they could love spending money on you. This relationship could seem a bit materialistic at times but this person’s love language could just be gift-giving. There’s some sexual attraction here as well. This person could be a bit controlling in what you do when it comes to work. I see you both actively trying to become a healthier connection, but both of y’all’s wounds are going to get in the way and “wreak havoc”, the next time you get into a connection with this person, it’ll start off good, but it might go back to what it used to be. This person could get a bit controlling in what you do for work. For example, you might get a job as an office worker, they might tell you you can’t do that job because you have to transfer a lot of information through computers, or tell you can’t own a business because it’s too much work for you. This person could be envious of you and your potential in extreme cases, or they just like to project onto you. It is like they don’t mind financially supporting you because it gives them the power, but they don’t like when you realize power within yourself to handle your own. This person is confusing. You and this person could try to start random arguments with each other just because, and I see both of you being unfulfilled in this relationship due to all of this.

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POTENTIAL PROBLEMS?

There can be a point in the relationship where you try to blossom and become a better person for yourself. You might get a career you’ve always wanted or get yourself out to make more friends. Due to this person’s insecurities, they might try to sabotage you, or stop you in your tracks. At this point, you might get entirely sick of this person. You might to step into a better lifestyle for yourself. For some of you, this person might have influenced you to engage in harmful substances such as alcohol or drugs (I hope not) And you’re trying to get better. This person will almost project onto you because they know they couldn’t do the same even if they tried. They want to keep you down with them. You might get new attention from the workplace or whatever, or perhaps you might try to dive into a new religion or spirituality. I see you trying to really move on from this person.

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LESSONS YOU WILL BOTH LEARN FROM EACH OTHER?

Your next partner will learn to be more proactive in their personal goals in regards to becoming a better person. They’ve learned to not bring anyone else down just because of their own problems. They will learn how to have faith in themselves and their potential. They’ll also need to understand that they cannot have everything at the expense of other people, they’ll learn to heal from narcissistic tendencies. They’ll learn to actually work for what they want and desire out of life instead of manipulating and controlling others. They’ll understand that they now have to carry the karma and baggage of being difficult and abusive.

You’ll learn from the your next partner not to take anyone’s disrespectful. You’ll never be the other woman, or fall for anyone’s distorted thinking. You’ll learn to hold to your goals, passions, and desires for yourself. Never let anyone belittling into thinking you can’t do it. Your person probably took your unique ideas and took credit for it in the workplace. You’ll learn to use your ideas to allow yourself to flourish, to hold boundaries and to show a bit of pride. You’ll also take better care of your health, and never let yourself go. You’ll learn how to be proud of who you are, and not let anyone degrade you into thinking you’re a burden or you’re not amazing. When in reality, of course you are :)

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A song that came through for this pile:

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୨୧ pile seven ୨୧

WHEN AND WHERE WILL YOU BOTH MEET?

You will meet your next partner at a time when you feel like you lack of control over your life or feeling lost in your planning. It is possible that some of you might dropout of college/school or work a certain job around the time. There could be someone at your work that could be giving you a hard time such as a toxic or controlling boss. Most of you in this pile might be someone who could be a bit of a pushover, and your boss or manager might take advantage of that and abuse you. You’re going to feel so unappreciated at this job because of them, and you might want to leave and find a job elsewhere. You’ll meet your—i’m hearing “future spouse”—next partner around a time where you start to see reality for what it is and get your head out of the clouds and take action for yourself. You might start communicating your needs with your manager or boss. I see this connection starting off slow, I see friends to lovers. I’m not going to lie, you might meet this person at the wrong time and end up making a bad impression on each other. You might not like each other at first, however, I see you both coming friends and then becoming a slow-burning relationship. This person will be a friend that you make at this job, and they might be the one to help motivate you to communicate your feelings to your superior. They’ll recognize the unfairness and lack of appreciation you’re getting and they are going to want justice for you. I’m also feeling like you will try something with this person, but one of you will want a break due to something personal, and then come back to resume where y’all left off. For some of you, you might meet this person through altercation with them. You might meet them through an argument that was a misunderstanding. Whether that be between you both, or other people. Traffic? Road rage? Parking? Parking Lot? Something with cars, parking, and driving perhaps.

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS?

This person might notice your hair color on the first impression. Some of you could be blonde-haired, or dyed your hair blonde. Your hair color could stand out in some way. They might view you as someone who is sweet and “gentle to the touch”. You could be someone who is nice, friendly, and dependable. You could also be someone who is a good helper and you don’t mind doing any extra work because you might like being productive. I’m hearing “drama” and “backlash”. This person might feel bad for you on the first impression. You might meet this person through you having a misunderstood altercation with someone else. Perhaps you get a lot of hate in the workplace and people might try to pull you into unnecessary arguments and mistreatments. This person might want to stick up for you or want to protect you from it all. They notice you are also someone who is hard-working and soft-hearted. You might be someone who is also very proactive and positive. However, they see that you are often drained and underpowered because of the bad environment the people, especially your superior, in the workplace has put you in. They could also see you as someone who is seeking remedy in a way. You might be someone who has overcame an addiction or something. Perhaps a few of you have recently been released from rehab. This person could be aware that you may be on the younger side because you seem unsure about where you want to go in life, but you’re hanging in there. They believe that wherever you go, everything will go in your favor because you are a blessed soul.

This is specific, but for a few of you, this person has served the military and may be disabled in some way, or just served in the military at some point. You may view this person as someone who has been through challenging and intense times, but somehow always knew how to look in the brighter side. You see them as motivating and optimistic, someone who is uplifting and positive-minded. This person brings good feelings to the people they care about, and they are ride-or-dies. You’ll see they are also grateful as well, very appreciative people who are blessed to be alive. I am also getting the vibe that this person (if they were mostly in the military) could’ve mentioned that they’ve had a near death experience that changed their entire perspective on life; after that, they were a different person with different morals and values. You also perceive them as realistic. They seem to be a grounded person who has a strong grasp of reality, especially after their NDE. I wouldn’t be surprised if this person may have PTSD (God bless them if they do) They could be trying to overcome that around the time. For some of you, this person could be someone you tried to get with in the past, but someone in the connection needed to focus on other things. For a group of you, this person may be the boss or manager at the workplace giving you a hard time. If so, this could be a misunderstanding, and I am feeling like their traumas or ways of dealing with things could be the reason for it. I see you communicating with them and settling the tension successfully, possibly leading to a good friendship.

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THEIR PERSONALITY?

Again, this person may have a past in the army. I feel like their history in the army has led them to developing traits such as aggression, discipline, ambition, and courage. This person might brush you off the wrong way at the start. They could have a louder voice naturally and it might come off as domineering or controlling. However, they don’t mean harm I believe. It is just what they’ve been used to. On the inside, your person is someone who is calming, compassionate, soft-spoken, friendly, and dependable. Similar to you. This person might have had a traumatic event that led them to acting the way they do with people. This person might have been unfairly treated at a job at some point, and I feel like they haven’t gotten their sense of justice yet. This is specific, but for a few of you, this person may have not been treated the best in the army. Perhaps they were underpaid, or they weren’t promised the life they were to be given after they left. I see them being a hardworking person, trying to make up for the work they’ve done throughout the years. This person is someone who is also very forgiving and accepting, and it seems to be that they don’t care about it, however deep inside, they feel a bit disappointed about it. I see you both sharing your hardships and problems with each other, being there for one another, and being each other safe havens. This person is truly an angel. They really are. They are so sweet and selfless. They don’t seem like the type of person to argue or fuss a lot, and if they do, they do it in a slow and deliberate manner. However, for some of you, this person may have been the complete opposite of that before their time in the army, but changed after a certain experience. They love helping others and might love giving back to the people in some way. They might like giving food or drinks to homeless people on the street, something like that. This person may have good karma, and will have a positive next life. They could be a starseed. They are someone who is thoughtful and doesn’t like stressing about things or others. I guess they don’t take life as seriously as they used to. This person could have a pet dog, aw :) I keep seeing dogs. They may a guard dog, or something like that.

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PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?

taller height; muscular body type; prominent smile/teeth (they might have a bright and contagious smile); prominent hips and waist; freckles; RBF; skinny; thin eyebrows; libra; minimal style; dark-skinned; lean body type; piercings; about half of you, average height.

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WHY WILL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?

Your next partner will fall in love with you because they know they can depend on you for anything and everything. They appreciate how you’re always there for them and you’re ride-or-die. This person may have been the one who had to take a break from the connection due to personal reasons, perhaps PTSD or something in regards to trauma or emotional/mental health. They might have waited for them, and they cannot help but be thankful for you for being patient with them, for not walking away when they were in times of despair. They also think that you won’t judge them at their worst or ugliest times. You may seen them been through some harsh problems, and you still loved them through it all. This person may have problems in regards to sleeping or paranoia? Because the moon is prominent. You might love sleeping over at their place to be there for them and make them feel safe and comfortable, they love that. This person may have had been in a connection with someone who was always pushy, demanding, and aggressive towards them. Again, this person seems to be delicate and sweet; and this past partner might’ve been controlling in a sense towards them, especially when they were in a time of financial trouble. This person could have been disabled or at a time when they couldn’t actively work for some reason. This person might’ve tried to force them to do things they weren’t ready for or couldn’t do. I just see impatience to be honest. They admire how you aren’t that way with them, you’re patient, and you actually encourage them to be easy on themselves and do what feels best for them at the moment. If they need to rest, then so be it. They also believe you are very nurturing and caring, especially towards animals. They may love how you take care of their pet, and you might petsit for them. Awww smh stawpp <3 This is too cute! Honestly, I see this relationship going far for most of you.

You’ll fall in love with your next partner (or should I say, future spouse because that vibe is coming in for literally almost all of you) because they give you a sense of freedom and integrity. This person is someone who has developed a bigger perspective on life after what they’ve been through, and I feel like you’ve always been someone who was always stopping yourself from doing things out of fear of failure or “taking the wrong path”. You might be someone who has always struggled with pessimism or feeling stuck in situations dies to lack of assurance. You’ll love that this person shift your whole viewpoint about how you should live your life. You’ll start to see things from the brighter side like them and they might encourage you to take up a completely different career path you would’ve never thought of taking due to limiting beliefs. You’ll adore how supportive they are and how they love others, including you, unconditionally. (I’m sorry, they seem so lovable like aw) They will literally make you cry because of how selfless and dangerously kind they are. They will probably be the type of person to randomly stop on the side of streets to talk to little kids :( I just see you having cuteness overload with this person, you’ll truly adore them and appreciate every single thing they do for others. You’ll also fall in love with how appreciative this person is, they might not have much, but to them, they have the world in their hands. They are the types to believe that as long as they have food on the table and the people they love, they are the richest person in the world (Everyone should be this way to be honest) It almost makes you want them to have everything they’ve ever wanted from the biggest to the smallest. And yeah, you’ll just love how they always have a smile on their face and love in their heart despite everything they’ve been through. This person tries to have love in their heart despite everything they’ve been through. I feel this person follows after a personal philosophy about that: Always have a good in your heart despite what the world gives you—something like that.

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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC?

This is patient and slow-moving relationship. I see you guys starting off as friends, becoming the bestest of friends, then officially dating. Therefore, this connection will have a strong foundation of knowing each other, which are the best type of relationships to be honest. I see that this relationship will undergo a lot of hardships in the beginning, not necessarily between you two, but because of what is going on personally in y’all’s lives individually. However, I see you both being there for each other, having patience, and letting the relationship blossom on its own time. I see a lot of communication, methodical dating (For example: If someone needs time for a break, you guys discuss how much time, what y’all will done when you guys don’t see each other, etc. You know, stuff like that) Y’all are that way because I see you both want this connection to work. Specifically, for one of you, you could be an aquarius and this person could be a libra. I’m seeing strong air sign energy. There is a lot of articulating and methodical planning in this connection. You’ll also mentally stimulate each other, always challenging each other in debates and conversations, even to the point of entertaining arguments. This relationship is definitely electrifying and there’s strong friendship. This person will see you not just as their partner, but their best friend :( This is giving such strong marriage, long-term relationship vibes like come on <3 I don’t see you guys holding each other back. I’m not seeing detached energies, but I’m seeing you guys have a lot of trust in each other to the point where you both can go days without being physically there with each other and knowing that everything is alright between the both of you. You both could be comfortable with each other having friendships with their desired gender (If you are straight, your partner could be okay with you being friends with the opposite gender and vice versa on your end) You guys want to see each other grow and expand while being there for each other. Lowkey, for almost all of y’all, this is a long-term (and definitely successful) relationship, but I’m seeing that some of you, you and your partner might agree to not marrying. Some of you and maybe your partner might not believe in marriage like that, and doesn’t think that law-binding each other is necessary. I’m seeing you guys being the types to give each other promise rings instead (Awww! I’m about to cry, for real) Y’all are here for the long-term. But for some of you, y’all might not want to force each other to the shackles of modern marriage, you know what I mean? This is adorable man. However, if you do want marriage, this person will definitely try to find ways to compromise both of your desires, so don’t worry!

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POTENTIAL PROBLEMS?

Honestly, there’s nothing you guys cannot get through. These problems can easily be solved because again, you guys have friendship. Even in times when you are argue or get into a block in the connection, you both always seems to rise back up due for your undeniable collaboration. Plus, I see you two, especially your partner, not knowing how to stay mad at each other. I do see some financial hardships. There might be a point where you both live together and you have to bring in two incomes to the house, and it could become a struggles. However, I see you guys getting through it through teamwork. I see strong communication, so I’m not even worried about y’all. I do see some self-sabotage or feeling like someone doesn’t deserve the other person, this could be coming from both sides, but especially your partner. I see this person not being treated the best in the past, and they felt like they weren’t enough for their previous partner; they could feel that way for you subconsciously from time to time. If you just validate them and make sure to let them know they are do more than enough, everything will be alright. I’m hearing they just need some TLC (tender loving care) after all the harsh things they’ve been through. They are such an angel, like please doesn’t take them for granted y’all. Tell them you love them and appreciate them. I’m also hearing buy them small and meaningful gifts. They might be an action figure nerd, or they love collecting certain things. I’m serious like they are so gentle, they just want a hug. Give them hugs more often guys, when the time comes. They might love cuddles. Their love language is definitely gift-giving and physical touch. Yeah, other than that. Y’all are destined for success. I see you living happily ever after with this person. I see a family, two children. Perhaps y’all are of different race or ethnicity and could have children who are mixed, that’s random. That’s for a few of you. And I see travel! Good luck!

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LESSONS YOU WILL BOTH LEARN FROM EACH OTHER?

Lessons your next partner will learn from you is to believe in the impossible, the dream of having that secure and happy future they’ve always hoped for. This person may always wanted to meet and spend the rest of their lives with their soulmate, their person; and have a family with them, pass on their legacy. And they’ve realized that they can do that with you. This person might’ve been used to toxicity and mistreatment, they might have expected themselves to always be in that state, but you, the possibilities together proved wrong, and their life-defining moments proved wrong. All their life, they had to fight and protect for the things they’ve cared for the most. They learned it’s not going to always be that way, and it shouldn’t be that way. This person is destined to have it end in a good way for themselves. This person is divinely protected, and they could have a grandmother or feminine figure they hold dearly to looking over them in spirit to make sure. Anyone and everyone did this person wrong will get justice and karma sooner or later.

The lessons you’ll learn from your next partner is to be grateful, to appreciate the smaller things in life, and you’ll find happiness everywhere you go. Your partner will make you realize that you can find satisfaction in the most unnoticeable places, and that’s enough to make you feel content with where you are. You might be someone who has always struggled to slow down and look at what’s in front of you, this person will help you recognize that and slow down and smell the flowers. In this connection, you’ll learn true companionship, unconditional love, and compassion. You’ll learn to show more love to the people around you, including your partner (I swear I keep wanting to say future spouse) You’ll learn unity and merging with someone you deeply look out for. You’ll learn to listen to your heart and less to your rational mind. You’ll follow your intuition and true desires. You’ll learn selflessness and how to talk things through effectively and deliberately. You’ll also learn how to relate to others effectively.

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A song that came through for this pile:

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୨୧ pile eight ୨୧

WHEN AND WHERE WILL YOU BOTH MEET?

For some of you, this could be your first ever partner. I feel like for a group of you, this could be an arranged marriage someone in your family (specifically a masculine figure, perhaps a father or uncle) is trying to get to you to date, for religious or cultural reasons. For another group of you, this person may be an ex-partner that is trying to come back, and for some of you, a masculine figure could be trying to encourage you to get back with them. You might meet or reconcile with this person around a vulnerable and “embarrassing” time? Your family might be pressuring you to date or put yourself out there for marriage. You’re going to feel like your boundaries aren’t being respected, and your family is putting you out around a time when you’re not ready for any of that. You feel awkward and harassed. Your family might be very traditional with those type of things and it can get irritating. For some of you, I’m getting a masculine figure setting you up on a blind date, and you not looking forward to it. I’m just seeing a father pressuring you to settle down. Most of you guys could be in your early to late 20’s. I’m hearing that one or a few of you are exactly 23 years old (Which, in my opinion, is too young for settling down, like what are they on about guys?) However, I see this person being very successful—perhaps a bit older by a couple of years—and willing and capable of giving you guaranteed success and stability. This person definitely has power, and your family will notice that and will want to get on this person’s side. Some of you could be from South Asia, that’s where most arranged marriage practices happen. Indian, Mongolian, or Malaysian culture perhaps? Some of you could come from a financially well-off family who has connections to meet up with people like your future partner. I don’t see you feeling ready to partake in this connection through, and honestly, sorry. I see this person being understanding though so, go figure :)

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS?

Your next partner will view you as someone who will help them achieve higher status and stability. If this is arranged, I see them seeing you as leeway for better status in a sense of acquiring a stable marriage. If you happen to be the masculine energy being arranged to the feminine energy, I see you seeing them as someone who needs to depend on them for status and respect. This seems like strict business to be honest. They might see you as strict business. I seen them viewing you as someone who needs them in a financial sense. Perhaps your family wanted you to marry to guarantee a good future for yourself. I also feel this person feels a sense of guilt for you, like they feel sorry for you. You might not want to go on with this, but for the sake of tradition and your loved ones, you have to. I see them being completely understanding and I do see compromise in some way. For a small group of you, if this is an ex, I see you wanting revenge for something. I don’t know what it is, but you’re out for them for something they did. There’s something legal coming through for the ones who are dealing with the ex, this ex might’ve have committed a crime involving you being the victim this family might not know about. This is a trigger warning for you guys: This person may or may not have sexually assaulted you and you haven’t announced it yet. This person may trigger you in a way and bring out a vulnerable side of yourself. That is for a small group of y’all through, if this is true, I am so sorry, literally. This person feels shame for what they did, but I don’t see you falling for it to be honest. You wanting justice. I see this masculine figure or family of yours literally forcing you to forgive this person for what they’ve done and move on, but I don’t see you really moving on, you’re still thinking about it. On the brighter side, for the arranged marriage people or the people who simply is just dealing with a random ex, they view you as someone who is confident and sure of themselves. You guys might be a Leo or have Leo energy in your chart. They might notice your hair. They might notice how big, curly, and noticeable it is. They might like your height—you’re probably noticeable tall or short—and how tan you are? They love how you look, they think you’re beautiful, and they might see you two getting along and having a stable future together at first. They might even develop a slight crush on you at first sight. They think you’re cute, aw. They could be on the younger side. They can be a young adult, for sure.

Your first impression of your next partner is that they aren’t initially your type, if an ex, not anymore. You don’t think you can be compatible with them, at least for now. You just don’t see it or feel the spark. You don’t think it’s time. You might view them as indifferent or detached, like you might notice that they do not make much eye contact with you or seem to care less about making an impression on you. I see them being professional and respectful, but you can tell they weren’t too excited or enthusiastic about seeing you. At least that’s what it seems. You might be intimidated by that because you can’t see what’s going on in their mind. I don’t see you arguing because I see you needing “remedy” for your financial situation or whatever your family wanted you to do this for. I’m gettin a bunch of masculine energies coming through, if so, if this is a feminine energy or girl, you might view them as someone who is financially in need, and it’s your responsibility to arrange a marriage with them. I just see you viewing them as someone you don’t see yourself being with in the long run. You will see this person as a burden and you know this connection won’t last. You believe there is a lack of passion and sexual/physical attraction as well. On the contrary to how they see you on the first impression.

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THEIR PERSONALITY?

First off, this person is highly intelligent. I’m seeing this person used to be honors student in school or something. They’ve attended college, and gotten a masters degree in a particular area. I’m hearing computer science or nursing. They could be a nerd and highly invested in the field they study. I’m also hearing graphic design and robotics (Elon Musk type beat) They are very eloquent and professional. This person could come from new money and built themselves up from the ground. They are definitely hardworking and determined, fearless, feared of. They are charitable people, they are well-aware enough they should give back. Yeah, they are definitely planning on marrying someone into money or marrying someone who wants to marry them for their money for strictly professional reasons. This person is solely wanting to marry someone for social climbing reasons, like status in the dating world if they are a masculine energy or male, and status in the professional world if they are a feminine energy or female kind of thing. It is weird to be honest. I see them being very methodical with how they use you, and that's not giving me the best vibes. I'm not seeing any toxic energy though, fortunately. Just not so good tendencies. For some of you, this person may have snobbish vibes. If they do come from money in their family, they can be spoiled and a bit lazy. I don't want to say this, but I do see a fraud for a few of you, or at least they are not all they set themselves out to be. I'm sorry.

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PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?

dark hair color; stockier body type; sagittarius; leo; prominent lips; wrinkles, younger, facial hair, minimal style; medium-size nose; alluring, arched eyebrows, acne; long hair.

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WHY WILL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?

Your next partner will love your beauty. I see them stumbling over their words every time you look at them while they are talking to you because of how “drop-dead gorgeous” you are. There’s a lot of physical attraction on their side. They also admire how prideful and independent you seem. You don’t seem to like submitting to people and you’re stubborn. They find that attractive and almost like a challenge? They could get turned on by that for some reason. They love your hair “and how it smells”? What’s going on? lol. You admire how hard you work and determined you are to accomplish your small goals. You always seem to be busy and dealing with your ongoing tasks. They appreciate that and look up to that. I see them wanting to flirtatiously pursue you by giving you gifts and certain presents, they might want to spoil you and be chivalrous towards you. However, I don’t think they see you as someone who is ready for marriage. They might think you’re too stubborn for it and you’ll be hard to compromise with because of your pride. However, they would try to pursue you in a playful and unserious way. They admire your belief system and morals, your ideology encourages them to become better and work harder. They also admire the person that you’ll become when you get with them, they’ll love to want to help you become a better person with their status and wealth and help you get to a better situation and see you grow.

You might have some slight misconceptions about them at the start or you’ll start to notice some good qualities about this person when you get to know them. You might have judged them too quickly and allowed yourself to create a false picture of them. This person might have turned over a new leaf when you marry them or bind to them. They’ll seem to be a different person. Perhaps this person has been married before but got divorced. And they are trying to make it up but doing better this time with someone different. You might love how surprisingly giving, thoughtful, and receptive they are. I see that you’ll love how determined they are to make this connection work, whether that’s by getting to know you or doing extreme exercises to build trust. I feel like they will try to earn your apology for what they’ve done to you in the past, and they are going to do whatever they can gain that. You’ll find that appealing, and I see you making it hard by trying to prove a lesson. I see that over time, there will some gain in respect for each other. I don’t necessarily see love through unfortunately.

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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC?

The relationship will definitely be a slow one, for sure. There might not be as much passion, but there’s going to some slow build of liking each other or at least being okay with or respecting each other. I see that you guys might not be seen in public with each other often. It could be something you guys agreed on at the start of your connection. To be honest, I don’t see this connection working out, and if so, it’s not going to be very fulfilling. It’s just going yo be professional. I feel this relationship is solely a karmic relationship for the both of you to learn specific lessons, specifically something about forgiveness and apologizing. I also see you finally giving in to this person’s services, especially if this is an arranged marriage. You’re going to try to cope with the fact that you need this person’s assets for the sake of your family’s name or validation. I do see a power dynamic. I don’t see anything necessarily toxic, but you might not like it. The dynamic could be solely because of this person’s status and respect. You might feel unnoticed or under this person’s shadow. There’s such a lack of passion in this pile, like this just seems like a connection y’all are just in just to be in it. I don’t claim this for you guys.

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POTENTIAL PROBLEMS?

I lied. This relationship is a bit toxic. I feel like a huge problem is a lack of privacy from your person. It’s giving the vibe of them not wanting you to lock doors around their house because you should be comfortable with them and they should know what you are doing 24/7. Yeah, no. Again, a power dynamic of feeling like you’re not in control. It feels as though you don’t get enough attention or appreciation from other people and you’re in their shadow. A lack of passion and emotional fulfillment could be possible, and I do see both of you, especially you, stepping out of the connection and seeking it somewhere else—basically infidelity. I see you both faking happiness with each other. I just feel monotony and, meh. I see that you might be afraid of leaving because you’re scared of leaving the foundation you’ve built with this person financially. This person can make you feel unnoticed and your self-esteem could plummet. It might come to a point where you might try to accept your lot and deal with it. It shouldn’t be that way though. I don’t see any children, I just see an unhappy marriage that’s just in it to look good. I seriously don’t claim this for any of you, for real. Good luck.

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LESSONS YOU WILL BOTH LEARN FROM EACH OTHER?

Your next partner will learn that pretending and putting up a facade isn’t going to make them happy. This person may be someone who can be superficial and a social climber, a bit of a puppet master. They are going realize that faking their reality or faking things about themselves isn’t going to make them anymore happier. It isn’t going to authentically complete them. They’ll learn they they cannot hold their facade any longer. They’ll learn to be less self-centered and think about more others and how they feel. They can be a bit controlling and bitter towards the women in their lives. They could have issues with the mother and treat the mother in that way. They’ll recognize that they have issues with the feminines in their life and will have to heal that. They can be spiteful as well because of how truly miserable they are in their superficial life, and they’ll learn that they are the cause of their unhappiness. Your person might learn to dabble into nature and the authentic things in life to ground themselves and connect to their higher selves and who they truly are. Perhaps dealing with animals or plants. Perhaps helping others with the intention of because they truly want to, not for an image.

You will learn to not let pride get in the way of moving on from the tragedies of your life. You’ll learn to forgive simply for yourself to move on and becoming a better person, not just for others. You’ll learn to be proud of yourself and to not be afraid to ask for love, appreciation, and attention. You will recognize you don’t need to be in anyone’s shadow anymore. You’ll have hope for yourself, and I’m also hearing a sense of justice as well. You’ll learn to establish stability for yourself and expand your horizons among others. You might travel more after this person, and even go back to college if you haven’t been to it already! I’m also hearing you might meet someone as soon as you leave this person. You might’ve gotten involved with them while with this person, what I’m also hearing. Your perspective on marriage might change as well. You’ll take marriage more seriously and make sure your real marriage is going to happen with the person you truly have passion and love for, and want a future with (I know that’s right) I do see you meeting someone after this person, like right after for some of you.

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A song that came through for this pile:

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#astrology #natal chart #zodiac #guxciestone #astro observations #astrology observations #astro community #sagittarius #aquarius #aries #memes #funny #lol #pick a card #pick a card reading #leo #horoscrope #tarot #spirituality #intuition #Spotify

[nburkhardt]

Every Time You Shine, I’ll Shine For You.

Soooo this was originally going to be full one shot, but I’ve decided since it’s been sitting in my drafts for months, that I’m just going to post it as either an unfinished piece for now. I might try to come up with a second half but for now enjoy this soulmate au ✨

Having a soulmark wasn’t necessary for Steve. Sure, seeing the word- the nickname his soulmate will eventually call him is nice. But it’s not needed, not in his eyes at least.

At the age of five years old, everyone in the world gets a nickname on their wrist. It’s fate telling you your perfect match, that the other half of your soul is out there for you. It’s the ultimate fairytale growing up, that it burns when you hear the nickname said by your soulmate and there’s an instant spark, instant connection. It’s the bedtime story, the ultimate love story and something to wish for.

It’s a wish everyone wants but Steve Harrington.

He has a very good reason to not like the idea of having a “perfect match” out there for you. While he heard the stories and sees the potential in it, he grew up watching his parents be in love without being actual soulmates. Hears stories of their love and ideas of finding love on your own, deciding to show the world that they don’t need fate’s help.

It’s beautiful and he wants that. Wants to make his own story, find his own match. There’s no need for fate to help him.

On his fifth birthday, he watched ‘Dingus’ appear on his wrist, it made him pout while his parents laughed and kiss his head, told him not to worry. That he doesn’t have to be with whoever fate picked for him and joked about only being five.

It eases his five year old mind.

His parents aren’t surprised to watch him grow up to be a true romantic, isn’t surprised to see his love in everything and how having a soul mark doesn’t stop him from having crushes or falling in love.

Life goes on but after some failed relationships and the disaster of a relationship with Nancy; seeing the nickname give him some hope that somewhere out there, there is someone for him. Someone who fate decided is his match, which growing up he hated it.

At eighteen, he really thought he’d already be with the person he’d love forever (and who would love him). But instead of that, he’s single and not at all close to figuring out why fate’s pick for him would call him “dingus” of all things. To top it all of he’s stuck working at the new Scoops Ahoy until he hears back from the colleges he applied too.

The uniform is lame, it’s in the middle of the brand new mall and it’s leaning towards being too cold in the shop and he doesn’t even know his coworker yet, hopefully they’re not expecting him to be some big shot like he was in high school.

Those days are long gone, he’d rather be his lame and hopeless romantic self instead of the asshole keg king he was.

His first week of working is spent being laughed at by ex-teammates, being ignored by his only coworker and failing to get at least a date with someone. It’s not his longest week, but it’s real close.

After a total of three weeks of getting ignored and laughed at by people he flirts with, his coworker, Robin decides enough is enough and- “maybe with this you’ll try harder”

Glancing behind him, she’s standing there with the whiteboard from the back but instead of the random doodles she drew, it looks like a score board with You Rule/You Suck on it.

There’s already three tally marks under ‘You Suck’ and he can’t figure out if it makes him want to laugh or cry, maybe both.

Definitely both.

“At least I’m trying here, you could find your soulmate with flirting!”

Robin rolls her eyes and hangs the board up behind her, “I’d rather suck on a lemon than flirt with guys”

It surprises him for all of three seconds before he rolls his eyes, whatever, he thinks. If she wants to miss the opportunity to find a soulmate, so be it. He’ll continue trying to find love, he doesn’t need whoever fate picked.

The board is definitely mocking him, he thinks several days later. Currently there’s five tally marks under ‘You Suck’ and a big fat nothing under ‘You Rule’. Robin thinks it’s the funniest thing on the planet.

He doesn’t find it funny, he finds it embarrassing and stupid, actually. Really embarrassing, especially when she brings it out when another girl their age walks in. It’s like she’s doing it on purpose.

Which is confusing, she told him explicitly that she does not like him and will only ever tolerate him. So, her practically chasing people away doesn’t make sense.

Her loud crackle of a laugh starts as his head nearly hits the counter, “That’s another one for the you suck column! Zero for the you rule, popeye!”

Standing up he turns around with a glare, “yeah I can read!”

“You sure about that one, Dingus?”

His wrist burns and he can’t stop his eyes from going wide. There’s no way, absolutely no way. This is a fluke, she must have seen his mark one day. That’s why his soulmate mate, fate’s pick, is his co-worker.

His disbelief and discomfort most show on his face because Robin shifts on her feet, “I’m uh, sorry. If I took that too far, really-uh I don’t think that way about you and, and- this is was” she looks uncomfortable now, tripping over her words.

Opening his mouth to calm her down, he find that his words are gone. The disbelief stopping him. He quickly shuts it and looks away from her. The shop is completely empty. When did that happen?

“Steve- I really didn’t mean to be well, mean.”

All he can do is nod back, “no, uh, I get it. Really- uh. It’s fine.”

How exactly is he supposed to do this? He’s never once called her a nickname! Unless she was his but he isn’t hers? He doesn’t know. Either way he’s still a little disappointed.

“You sure? Because uh, you’re looking a little pale there”

A laugh bubbles up and before he realizes it he’s on the ground with his back against the counter and tears on his face, “ye-yeah. Sorry.”

He hears her move around and then there’s a foot bumping his, he moves his head to look at her.

“We’re currently low on everything, did you know that? It’s unbelievable, just wiped clean.” Robin explains with amusement dancing on her face, “Scoops Ahoy is officially closed for the day”

That surprises a laugh out of him as tries to loosen the tension that built up, moving his arms he puts his chin on his knee, Robin copies him. They’re just looking at each other, comfortable in this silence.

“Sooo”

“Look-”

Their eyes meet and both burst out laughing. This feels different, at least for Steve. There’s something soothing coursing through him now, he never felt on edge with Robin but he wasn’t always this comfortable either. A smile spreading on his face, he didn’t know about this feeling when you meet your soulmate.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

He snorts, “they might be worth more, Birdie”

Robin gasps and he looks at her, but her eyes are wide and locked on her wrist. He follows her look and he can’t exactly see what she’s looking at but he knows it’s her soul mark.

They really are soulmates.

This is where I’d put the continuation… if I had the idea for it! (Said in that fairlyodd parents meme)

Anyway! If this brought you some inspiration, you can totally take whatever piece you want and write something! But please know I had this ending up as Steddie with side of Rockie (Vickie&Robin)

Permanent taglist: @spectrum-spectre @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito @navnae @i-less-than-three-you @grimmfitzz @estrellami-1 @cartercaptainofthemoon @bookworm0690 @strangersteddierthings

#platonic stobin #stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley #nburkhardt writes #stranger things #stranger things fic #soulmate au #Steve has good parents as a bonus btw #it’s open ended to give me the chance to add more #if you see any typos no you don’t

[evangelineshifts]

FUCK IT !

You know I started thinking about the analogy that people use for manifestation and shifting comparing it to when you order something online.

And for me that analogy made sense but I could never truly relate to it cause when they said “you don’t wonder when your package is coming, you just know it is and you don’t question that etc etc”

And while yes that is true to a certain extent, I actually DO wonder when my packages are coming sometimes. I DO check how far they are from my location. I do anxiously wait for them to come.

I realize that that’s okay. Cause no matter how many times I check the order status. No matter how many times I check how long it’s been since I ordered it, my package STILL CAME.

I think the way we’re told to restrict ourselves from thinking about how much time our manifestations are taking or when we’re gonna shift actually makes it worse.

When you tell someone not to worry about something, to let it go and not thinking about it, to feign indifference the harder they’re going to try to. Which in turn just makes them think about it more.

It’s counterproductive at best.

When I order something I do think about how long it’ll take. I do check the status but once I do I just kind of go on once I’m done. I don’t really feel any particular way about how long it’s taking cause I know it’s mine and it’ll get here.

I trust that the delivery service will get it here in due time cause that’s THEIR job not mine and leave it at that 🤷🏽‍♀️

Another thing I noticed is that in ordering things- at least for me - I don’t worry about HOW it’s gonna get here. It could be delivered on my doorstep, in the mailbox, dropped from a fucking helicopter, ANYTHING, and I have never once cared.

And it might just be me being slow and realizing this is what they meant in those posts later than everyone else but it’s just like- clicked !

I’m always SO worried about the process of shifting.

What method should I do? Should I even do a method?

What if I get bored? I dont want to do it if I’m bored.

What will I think about? Should I look over my script? Maybe Pinterest boards for visuals?

What if I forgot something? I should check my script.

What if I fall asleep?

What if? What if? What if?

WHO FUCKING CARES?!? That is not why you’re doing this. Who cares about that process when the end goal is the destination.

I’ve been avoiding shifting for the longest because I just kept stressing out over the shifting aspect of it. I would maladaptive daydream about my dr and be happy in that but the thought of attempt a shift made me groan.

The thought of affirming and persisting in my manifestations seemed strenuous.

But thats not the point. With practices as fluid as this focusing on what to do is literally the last thing you need to be worried about and I just now realized that.

You’ve probably heard this all before but like fr, do whatever the hell you want. If you want to shift wide awake, eyes open and dancing with music blasting in your ears- do it. Who’s gonna tell you that you can’t? Who has the credibility to say it’s impossible.

No one.

If you want to manifest by literally saying one affirmation and deciding it’s done and then going on doing whatever the fuck you want until the 3D catches up, then do it.

Tell yourself it works for you and then do it.

✧ dividers by @benkeibear !

#evangelineshifts ˖⋆࿐໋₊ #angel rambles 🪽 #reality shifting #shiftblr #desired reality #shifting #quantum jumping #law of assumption #manifestation #neville goddard #shifting realities #edward art #shifter #shifting reality #shifters #shifttok #law of abundance #law of manifestation #law of attraction #shifters of tumblr #percy jackson shifting #shifting to pjo #shifting to marauders era #hogwarts shifting #shifting to desired reality #teen wolf shifting #teen wolf dr

[rootbeerworshiper]

Normal (part 1)

pairing: fem!character + matt sturniolo

summery: Abigail and Matt have been best friends for years and practically grew up together. the two hiding their feelings for one another, until one stupid drunken dare changes things.

warnings: swearing, suggestive parts, drinking, slight mention of abuse but not too much detail.

this is the first fic i’ve ever written but i actually like it a lot and @sturnswrites convinced me to post it

no idea where this story is going but for now, enjoy!

pt 2 pt 3

love, sienna <3

the first time i saw him was my first day of grade 4. i was new and incredibly anxious. i had always been an anti social child and for the most part i was okay with it, preferring reading books over introducing myself to others. but for whatever reason, it no longer felt okay. i struggled to see all the groups of girls laughing and eating lunch together, for whatever reason it stung.

i was fully prepared to sit by myself, walking over to an empty table with my lunch bag, but that’s when i heard something. well, heard someone.

“hey!” a boy yelled from behind me. after pausing for a moment, i assumed he wasn’t talking to me and picked up where i left off, back to the empty table.

“Chris you’re so dumb how is she meant to know you’re talking to her” another boy said, this one wearing a power rangers shirt

“oh… right” the boy with the longest hair replied, thinking momentarily

i finally arrived at the table and began opening my lunch kit, also looking for my headphones. i liked to drown out the voices of others, focusing on the lyrics of my favourite artists. i grabbed the wired headphones and untangled them before beginning to eat my sandwich.

i thought about how lonely i felt, how stupid i probably looked, eating the sandwich my older sister packed for me in a room surrounded my kids with food from the cafeteria. these thoughts consumed me until all of a sudden i felt a little less lonely.

looking to my left, my brows furrowed. a boy. sitting next to me.

he didn’t say anything at first, opening his lunch kit simply and taking out his snacks for the day. eventually though, he mustered up the courage to speak. “are you listening to black eyed peas?”

i shift in my seat, stomach immediately filling with anxiety “oh um yeah i am” i said quietly biting my lip, looking at the boy for any sort of emotion “im sorry i’ll turn it down i-“

“can i have a headphone?” he says. i wasn’t sure what to do in this moment, is this how you make friends? would he hate my music? did he think i was a loser? i try to shake the thoughts out of my head and focus on the boy facing me, who is now opening up a bag of my favourite fruit snacks.

“only if you give me a fruit snack” i smile, taking out a headphone from my ear and holding my hand out.

“deal” the boy replies placing two orange fruit snacks into my palm and grabbing the headphone. “what’s your name? i haven’t seen you before”

i cant believe this is happening, like at all. “my names Abigail but most people call me Abi” i reply, tilting my head back and throwing the two fruit snacks in my mouth.

“i like that name. Abigail. it has a good ring to it” he says before thinking for a moment. the feeling in my stomach is replaced by butterflies. i place my hands on my cheeks, attempting to hide the blush that’s tinting them “i think i have a better nickname then Abi, how do you feel about Bee?”

a confused look makes it’s way to my face. “like the bug?” he nods his head excitedly. “sure, you can call me Bee” i smile. “what’s your name? you haven’t told me yet” oh god that sounds weird, i’m so awkward i should just get up and go while i can-

“i’m Matt. well technically i’m Matthew but no one calls me that, it’s too formal” he smiles back, taking a bite into the sandwich that his mom made for him.

“well now i need a special nickname for you” i say, biting my lip as i try and think of something. i fidget with my fingers for a moment before i think of something. “how do you feel about Matty?”

“hm it’s okay.” he replies, mouth half full. i feel so stupid he probably hates it “but only you can call me that” this immediately brings a smile back to my lips.

“sounds like we have a deal Matty”

“sounds like we do, Bee”

since that fateful day, i had a friend and well, unbeknownst to me, the friend i made came with two others, Chris and Nick.

the three boys made me feel so much better about starting at a new school, made me feel seen at times where i’d normally feel invisible.

my home life wasn’t great, to put it bluntly it was shit. my mom was working all the time and i barely ever saw her and my dad, well i saw him more than i’d like. he was never physically abusive, and it took me many years to refer to anything he did to me as abuse, but really that’s what it was.

he would constantly remind me that i wasn’t good enough, saying that him and my mom wished i was never born. as you can imagine, it hurt like a bitch. but i always had my older sister there to pack me lunches and write me notes of encouragement. looking back on it, i feel more bad for her than i do myself because she had to endure all that shit and she didn’t have an older sister to cry out to.

when she went off to college i was heartbroken, not that i would ever show it to her.

the sudden absence of a family figure in my life made me closer to the triplets then i has been before.

i was always close to Chris and Nick and they were like family to me, really. but something about Matt always set him apart.

every time he’d ask me to hangout my heart beat would speed up, or when he puts his arm around me and i suddenly feel the same feelings in my stomach that i did in grade 4.

him and i understood each other on a different level, we helped one another in many ways. whenever i had a problem, i always had someone to turn to, and he had the same.

another important thing to mention about Matt is that he was my first kiss.

it was in sophomore year, and Chris had gotten us invited to our first real party, although there wasn’t more than 15 teenagers there, it was still a big deal.

Matt never liked the idea of drinking, said he didn’t wanna lose control. i didn’t like it either, my dad did most of his yelling under the influence of beer, and every time i smell it it’s like he‘a breathing down my neck all over again.

everyone else at the party drank, but it didn’t bother me because i had Matt by my side.

“we should play spin the bottle!” Chris suggests, already 3 drinks in and somehow more confident than ever before. i knew he only wanted to play because his crush was there, so i went along with it.

“sure, could be fun right?” i look to Matt who is internally freaking out. he just nods so i grab his hand and we head to the middle of the dim lit basement.

the drunk teenagers all eventually form a circle on the rug and place an empty beer bottle in the middle.

“who’s going first?” Nick asks, sipping on the random sweet cooler in his hand. “dibs out” he laughs with Alahna, another friend brought to me through Matt.

“i’ll go” the long haired triplet says, running his hand through his hair and leaning into the middle of the circle to spin the bottle

i just laugh and whisper to Matt “i wonder why that is?” Matt just shoots me a shocked look but ultimately joins in on my laughing

Chris ignores us and spins the bottle, landing on Alahna. “bro” he groans, placing his hands over his face

“wow you really know how to compliment a girl Christopher, i’m so flattered” she jokes, earning a snort from me across the circle

“no not like that-“ he begins to defend himself but ultimately gives up “whatever” he sits up and leans across the rug, giving the girl a peck on the lips, both of their faces becoming engulfed in disgust.

“Matt you’re next” a random guy from across the circle says, causing Matt to rub his hands over his face

i put my hand on his knee and speak just loud enough for him to hear “you got it Matty” he just groans and leans forward to spin the bottle

it feels like an eternity has gone by when the bottle finally lands.

on me.

it’s not like i haven’t thought about kissing him before, but this was so… real.

a blush creeps it’s way onto my face which i cover with both of my palms, internally freaking the fuck out.

Chris had his fun teasing us, but eventually something needed to happen. i looked up from the floor to the boy next to me. “we don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s just a dumb game” i explain, trying to avoid the awkward feeling forming in my stomach from the way he looks at me.

he thinks for a moment before shrugging. “i’m down if you’re down, just a game right?” he doesn’t know how that sentence makes me feel, my heart doing literal backflips inside my chest.

“okay” is all i say when he suddenly leans in, finger making its way to my chin to guide my lips to his.

the kiss is short lasting, but sweet. i didn’t realize i was craving the feeling of his lips on mine until i experienced it.

he pulls his lips off of mine but keeps his hand on my chin for a moment longer, remaining eye contact with me until Nick speaks again.

“okay that made everyone uncomfortable please get a room” he jokes and the game continues on for a while, drunken kisses being shared throughout the group.

but i can’t get my mind off of the way my best friends lips felt on mine, how right it felt. at least to me, it was just a dumb game to him, right?

After that night, Matt and i never mentioned kissing each other again, and everything went back to normal.

other than my feelings for him that i gained that night. i couldn’t get my mind off of his lips, how soft they were, how they fit like a puzzle piece onto my own. it felt like a dream.

but again, we decided to go back to normal.

however, normal, became well, not normal.

stolen stares became more common, and soft touches were now intentional.

unfortunately this didn’t stop him from dating other girls, and i mean why wouldn’t he? he kissed me once in some strangers basement, it’s not like he fell in love with me on the spot.

as his best friend i helped him get girls, telling him all the right things to say and do, constantly wishing he would do those things for me.

i knew i was torturing myself but he was my best friend and losing him was not worth telling him how i felt. so i kept it to myself. for years.

it wasn’t too bad at first. somehow i was able to keep him off my mind for the most part and i tried my best to find other potential suitors, but as you can probably imagine, nothing clicked.

when nick came out to me in junior year i was obviously thrilled, because it meant he trusted me and it was something that brought us together. but i also couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being honest about how i felt about his brother.

so i told him.

“no fucking way” he says, hands rubbing his eyes as if he just saw something traumatizing. i bit my lip, a bad habit i haven’t been able to shake, as i looked to him, awaiting a reaction. “you’re in love with my brother and i’m just now finding out?” he didn’t sound overly mad but he certainly wasn’t happy.

“i wouldn’t say in love” he just rolls his eyes. “i’m sorry! i just didn’t want you to be mad at me and it’s not like it’s ever gonna happen anyways so i didn’t think it was relevant” i ramble, fidgeting with my fingers anxiously. if Matt were here his hand would be placed in mine to calm me down.

“i’m not mad, i don’t think.” he thinks for a second, furrowing his eyebrows before speaking again “when did it start?” he asks

“sophomore year. in the basement” i feel so incredibly uncomfortable but i know that it’s only fair for Nick to know.

he’s confused for a moment before realizing “well shit” he contemplates in his head for a moment longer “i actually see it” he’s smiling now as he looks to me

“see what?” that’s all i can muster up the courage to say, still incredibly awkward saying these things out loud

“well like, i see it. like you guys together, i never thought about it before but it actually makes so much sense” the last thing i needed was Nick feeding into my delusions.

“yeah right, you don’t have to lie to me, i can live in peace knowing it’s a one sided thing that’s going nowhere” i reply, and it’s true. i came to terms with Matt not liking me back a long time ago.

“i’m not lying, i mean he’s definitely too stupid to realize what’s there but i fully believe that there is something there” nick says and i don’t really reply, now fidgeting with the ring Matt got me in freshman year. “but i’m glad you told me, now we can help each other, you find me a boyfriend and i get my brother to like you back”

i audibly laugh “i’ll definitely find you a boyfriend but you don’t have to worry about Matt and i, i’ll move on eventually”

3 years later and i still hadn’t moved on.

i mean it was definitely more of a repressed feeling, but still a feeling nonetheless. at this point it was a little embarrassing.

i tried dating around, but usually i got bored and gave up. i also tried casual hookups but it gets pretty boring having bad sex all the time.

and all of that brings me to tonight, at yet another “get together” with the all of the triplets friends and i can’t help but feel extremely out of place.

other than Nate and the triplets, i’m not actually friends with anyone here, and it doesn’t help that majority of them are influencers. so although i normally don’t drink, i needed to do something to get rid of the anxious feeling in my stomach that brews the longer i stay sober.

some rap song that i’ve never heard of is blasting in the back round and i get lost in my own thoughts for a moment. “you’re drinking?” Chris asks, now standing next to me as i lean against the kitchen counter. before he gets an answer he grabs the solo cup from my hand and takes a sip.

i roll my eyes and take the cup back. “you could not be less obnoxious if you tried Chris” i take another sip, if i could leave now i would, but i promised Nick that i’d stay.

“wow aren’t you just a bundle of joy right now” Chris fake smiles and goes to the island to pour himself a drink. “what’s got you in a bad mood?” he yells just loud enough to be heard over the music.

i’m not entirely sure how to answer the question. oh you know I’m just in love with your brother and he’s talking to three girls at once in the corner! yeah not happening. “nothing really, i just don’t love parties” i say, finishing my drink now to make room in my cup for another.

“mmm sure” Chris rubs my head and messes up my hair, same thing he’s been doing for years and it pisses me off every time, well except for now. i’m too preoccupied with literally anything else to care. “i think they’re starting a drinking game over there now if you care to join”

i look to the group of people who are now in the living room. normally i’d say no right away, especially with what happened last time i played a drinking game, but the alcohol is getting to me and the triplets are definitely not the only attractive guys at this party. “sure why not”

“that’s my girl” Chris smiles, dapping me up and we walk towards the living room together. i try my best to avoid looking at the girls drooling over Matt on the couch.

i’ve never drank before i definitely feel more confident as i sit next to some “influencer” i don’t know the name of, but he’s hot and Matt currently-

has his hand on some girls lap.

awesome!

“okay i think what we’re gonna do is like, truth or dare but if you don’t do either, then you take a shot” Nick explains “any objections?” he looks to me subtly but i choose to ignore him “alright, hm.. Nate truth or dare?”

the boy just smiles and sits up from his previously comfortable position on the couch. “i’ll do truth for now, i’m not drunk enough yet for dare” he jokes, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

“okay let me think” Nick replies, eyes darting upwards as if he’s looking into his head. “where was the weirdest place you’ve had sex?”

the room is filled with laughter and cheers momentarily before he answers. “alright i don’t even have a weird place because i’m not a freak like Chris over there but probably just the car” Nate explains

“i feel targeted right now” Chris says, holding his hands to his heart as if he’s been shot.

i continue to sip on the drink in my hand for a few more rounds before my own name is called by Chris. “okay Abi truth or dare?” he smirks, assuming I’m going to play it safe.

“dare”

my thoughts are confirmed when everyone in the room shares the same shocked expression as Chris. “alrighty then i need to pick a good one” the long hair boy rubs his head, attempting to think of something good. “oh i have one” he smiles and i know it’s gonna be something crazy by the way his eyes glimmer. “i dare you to give a hickey to the hottest person in this room”

my jaw literally drops. as much as i’d rather not suck on someone’s neck in a room full of people, i know that if i take the shot now i’ll never live it down. “bet” i smile, trying to come off as confident although i am literally shitting myself. i look around and of course i make eye contact with Matt.

normally, i wouldn’t do something so irrational, but i’m 4 drinks in and feeling the need to prove myself.

i make eye contact with him again after looking around and i swallow my pride and place myself on his lap. “this good?” i ask him quietly. he just nods and well i get to work, placing a few teasing kisses along his jaw before picking a spot and sucking until i pull away and see a mark. “there all done” i pat him on the head and sit back in my original spot.

“well fuck okay then” Madi laughs with Nick from across the room, a few more rounds go by, some of them literally causing me to piss myself laughing, when abruptly, Matt stands up and literally b lines to his room. everyone makes their remarks on “tuff guy” Matt but i can’t help but feel bad. i’m not sure why i feel guilty, i don’t think i did anything wrong, but i can tell he’s upset and i’d hate to be the cause of it.

just as i’m about to get up Chris’s hand places itself on my leg. “don’t worry about him, trust me he’s fine. you deserve to have fun” he looks at me with a sort of seriousness in his eyes that causes me to slouch back down into my seat.

the rest of the night is filled with my own thoughts about Matt.

was it something i did? was he angry? sad? why didn’t he say anything? where is he? what is he doing right now?

as his best friend i know i should be in there comforting him the way he had done to me countless times but for whatever reason, what Chris said stuck with me, so instead i sat and watched a bunch of dumb 20 something-year olds play truth or dare at 1am. not my idea of a fun time.

authors note: next chapter will be very similar to this one but by chapter 3 there will be fun angst trust🤞

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo edit #matt girl #nicolas sturniolo

[harryyskiwii]

Summary: Flight Attendant Y/N meets Captain Harry Styles for the first time and they join the mile high club, sort of.

Pairing: Reader y/n X Captain Harry

Word count: 4,207

A/N: Hey everyone! So sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been on holiday the last week and that is what inspired me to write this ���As always, please feel free to request anything! Hope you enjoy!

One of the things you enjoyed most about being a flight attendant was the thrill of being able to visit new places, if only for a brief period of time.

You had worked for British Airways for 3 years now and soon you would be hoping to step up to Team Leader where you could help train and look after new flight attendants.

You usually only did short-haul flights out of your base which was London Heathrow and flew across Europe; the longest flight being 6 hours. Short hail suited you, you typically flew to 3 or 4 places within a day and by 1 am, you were back in your bed. That’s if all went to plan. For today’s first flight, you were heading to Dusseldorf in Germany, somewhere you regularly flew to.

You parked your car in the staff area of the airport, changed out of your trainers and into your small black court shoes as driving in heels was never comfortable.

You pulled out your small case from the boot of your car which contained a spare uniform because you won’t be caught out again; on a previous flight a passenger spilt their red wine all over you one time and you had no spare shirt to change into, your water, your lunch because aeroplane food was awful and some spare makeup to top up with in between flights.

You smoothed out your navy pencil skirt, so old fashioned you thought, and tied the red, white and blue scarf around your neck ready to enter the airport.

You headed straight for security and through the fast track lane since you were crew. Once past, you headed to the staff area to check which gate you had to go through to get to the aircraft.

Approaching gate 7, you showed the staff your pass and they nodded and let you go.

You headed towards the aircraft, where you saw the First Officer; Andy doing the pre-flight walk-around. You had flown with Andy for the best part of a year and you knew him well. He got into flying after he fancied a change in career from being in the police. You always liked Andy, he was a father to 2 girls who he adored and always made the typical dad jokes which meant it was normally a good flight with him

“Alright wee one, nice to see you” he smiled at you. “Hey, how are you?” You smiled back at him.

“I’m good, ready for 12 hours of pure joy?” He joked and you laughed. “Always” you replied.

“Who’s the Captain today?” You asked, always fearing if it would be one of the older, slightly rude Captains or one more relaxed and friendly.

“New guy, Styles his name is. Seems like a good bloke, think Daniel already has the hots for him” he winked and you laughed.

You relaxed at the mention of Daniel who you had become best friends with after you had both started the job on the same day. You loved working with him as he always seemed to make the flight go in faster.

“Hey! Am I glad to see you today” you said once inside the aircraft.

“Hey!!” He said hugging you “I’ve not been with you on a flight for ages, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do!” he said excitedly. You laughed as he always saw working with you as gossip sessions rather than working.

You headed towards the front portion of the plane where the crew placed their bags and got ready for the flight. You glanced in at the cockpit where you saw the Captain sitting doing the necessary paperwork before departure. Although you could only see the back of him you could tell he was wearing his black double-breasted black jacket with the 4 gold stripes on both the epaulettes and the sleeve of his jacket; showing his ranking as Captain.

He had short, dark brown hair which you could tell had been meticulously styled that morning as not a hair was out of place. You had never worked with this captain before, so you weren’t sure what to expect from him; some captains could be so far up their own, you weren’t allowed to speak to them unless spoken so you kept quiet and put your things away and headed back out to the main cabin to find 2 more girls who you didn’t recognise arriving onto the plane.

“Hi, I’m Emma, Team Leader for today. Nice to meet you” the tall blonde girl who was wearing a minimal amount of makeup but still managed to look flawless said to you.

“Hi nice to meet you, I’m y/n” “Lovely name, I’ll go sit my bag down and we can start the briefing” she smiled.

You noticed the other girl who had since boarded, she looked a little more reserved so you decided to introduce yourself.

“Hi I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you” You smiled at her to help relax her. She looked young and a little unsure, she was maybe 18 or 19 years old so you assumed she hasn’t long qualified as cabin crew. You remember how nervous you were for your first few flights so you decided you wanted to look out for her during the day

“Hey, I’m Holly” she said. “Not long qualified?” You asked kindly.

“This is my 2nd flight” she said and you smiled.

“Don’t worry I remember my first couple of flights, it’s nerve-wracking but you’ll soon get the hang of it. There’s no better way to learn than doing it so if there’s anything you need a hand with today, just let me know. I’m always happy to help” you smiled.

“Come on, I’ll show you where to put your things” You smiled and led her towards the cockpit.

“So you can grab anything you need out of your bag and put it in the fridge if you’ve got a sandwich or anything like that, otherwise you can pop it in here and lock it, we all put our bags in one locker together

“Ahh, I thought I heard some voices. I was just coming to do the briefing” you heard the captain say from behind the cockpit door. You stood up straight and smiled at him coming out.

His eyes fell onto you first and he smiled “Harry Styles, pleasure to meet you” You shook his hand that he had extended for you and took in his beauty. He looked young, maybe 29 or 20. He had green eyes and fair skin which had a slight tan to it, making the dimple on the left side of his face more prominent.

“Y/N, lovely to meet you, Mr Styles”

“Please, call me Harry” he told you and you smiled at how genuine he seemed. Most captains would only allow you to refer to them as Captain and their last name so it was nice to have one who was more relaxed.

“This is our newbie Holly, this is her 2nd ever flight today” you smiled as you introduced the new recruit to him.

“Holly, nice to meet you. I’m Harry, hope you’re settling in well?” He asked kindly as he shook her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Captain Styles, yes settling in very well thank you” she sheepishly replied. It always was a bit intimidating to speak with a captain, especially ones you didn’t know much about.

“Call me Harry please” he smiled. “Shall we move to the cabin and start the brief?” He asked and you nodded, moving to the front part of where the passenger seats were located.

By this point, everyone was now in the cabin waiting to start the briefing. The captain introduced himself to the remaining crew members before you all took seats at the front of the plane.

“So my name is Emma I’m one of the British Airways Team Leaders and I’ll be working as number 1 for this shift. Today we’ve got Captain Harry Styles and First Officer Andrew Simmons on the flight deck. For cabin crew today we’ve got Daniel, Holly and y/n, I think we’ve already met each other by now yes?” Emma asked as she pointed to everyone during the introductions.

“Great, it’s a Boeing 777 we’re on today, I’ll let Captain Styles and First Officer Andy talk more about that in a bit. There are a total of 6 flights today; Heathrow to Düsseldorf, Düsseldorf to Heathrow, Heathrow to Las Palmas, Las Palmas to Heathrow and then Heathrow to Venice and Venice back to Heathrow. Full flights on all destinations so we need to be on top of our game in the cabin, Daniel can I ask you to be number 2 today? Holly, do you mind being 3 today and y/n as number 4?”

Number 1 meant you were looking after the passengers in the front of the plane, number 2 was in the middle of the plane, number 3 was in the back section of the plane and number 4 was an additional person who helped the rest of the team, including the flight crew.

You nodded in agreement, secretly glad you were given the position of helping to look after the captain and the FO.

“Captain Styles, do you want to run through your information?” She asked and he straightened up in his chair.

“Yeah sure I’ll just introduce myself a little more since I’m a new face to a lot of people. I’m Harry I’ve been a Captain now for 5 years having previously worked for Ryanair before moving here 3 weeks ago. Please call me Harry because Captain sounds old and although I’ve recently hit my 30s, I’m not quite there yet” This gained a few laughs from the crew, including yourself.

So he was attractive and funny? The more he spoke the more you found yourself more and more drawn to him. He was charming. But not in a cocky way, he seemed genuine and the fact he was a Pilot told you he was smart. Very smart. You always did have a thing for intelligence.

“We’ll be cruising around 30,000 feet once up in the air, weather looks good, clear skies with a 30% chance of light showers. The weather in Düsseldorf is 23 degrees which doesn’t concern us as we’ll have a 20-minute turnover before boarding to come back to the UK unfortunately, bet you wish you’d chosen long haul now Holly?” Harry joked at the fact that although travelling throughout Europe, you hardly ever got to even leave the plane.

You all laughed and Holly agreed. Harry continued with the briefing, telling you about the time durations, and quizzing everyone on emergencies, something which was legally required to ensure all crew knew what to do in the event of one.

“Thanks everyone, I think we can start boarding now” Harry smiled and Emma nodded, knowing to start the boarding procedure.

“Y/N can you help Holly if she needs a hand opening the rear door?” Emma asked and you nodded.

You headed towards the rear of the cabin with Holly behind you.

Once everything was set for boarding, you headed towards the middle of the cabin to help passengers find their seats and help with any luggage they had.

Luckily, boarding took 20 minutes and before you knew it, you were doing the safety demonstration for the passengers while the plane reversed out of the airport and to the runway. You could hear Andy’s voice informing the passengers of the information Harry had relayed to you earlier about the weather etc to keep them up to date.

With the safety demonstration over and having checked everyone had their seatbelts on, Emma nodded to you to signal that you could sit down and prepare for the take-off.

“Cabin crew take seats and prepare for take-off” you heard Captain Styles say and you smiled a little at the sound of his voice.

You sat down at the rear of the plane next to Holly and fastened your seatbelt.

“I’ve done hundreds of flights and I never get bored of the take-off or landing” you said to her quietly as you could feel the plane taxing down the runway.

“I’ve done a handful and still get nervous” she said and you squeezed her hand a little to let her know it was okay to be nervous.

He must have gone from 50mph to about 170mph in less than 30 seconds because before you knew it, you were being hauled into the air with such speed that you swear your heart fell out of your arse. A “fuck” could be heard under Holly’s breath and you laughed.

That was a sure sign of a good takeoff. For a plane to take off at such speed it requires a good sustained acceleration which was exactly what Harry did.

So he was attractive, funny, intelligent and good at lifting 150-ton planes off the ground? Was there anything this Pilot wasn’t good at?

As the plane climbed into the air, Andy’s voice could be heard over the intercom “Ladies and Gentleman please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened until the captain has switched off the seatbelt sign. Thank you”

A common command that was often used for eager passengers who would immediately take their seatbelts off as the plane took off the ground.

10 minutes in, the seatbelt sign was switched off and people started to immediately stand up to use the toilets, it always looked like the hunger games you thought.

Because the duration of the flight was only 1 hour and 25 minutes, only the drinks and snack service were required so you and Holly started with that as one of your first tasks, hoping to keep the passengers settled.

Halfway through the service, the alarm which alerted cabin crew to the cockpit was rung and so as the number 4, you left the drinks cart and headed to the cockpit.

You straightened out your skirt and pushed back a few loose strands of hair before knocking and going in.

“Everything alright?” You asked politely squeezing through the small door and inside the cockpit.

“I’m just gonna nip to the loo” Andy said and you nodded, understanding. It was policy that the cockpit operated a “2-person flight deck” which meant 2 people had to be in the cockpit every second the aeroplane was in use.

Andy exited and headed for the toilet.

“Come and sit down” Harry said to you as he glanced over at the seat Andy had been sat in. You moved and sat down in the First Officer’s chair.

“How’s everything out there?” He asked looking over at you. The plane was now set on autopilot meaning it no longer required the captains' manual control, rather a system was being used to control the path of an aircraft.

“Yeah everything’s good, no difficult passengers yet, although what are the chances I’ve jinxed it now” you laugh.

“For the next 5 flights, we’ll have the worst passengers in the history of aviation” he joked and you laughed at his quick white

God, he looked so good sitting there. He had taken off his jacket which revealed a clean crisp white shirt, still showing the 4 gold stripes on his shoulder, but the shirt revealed tattoos. Tattoos which made you feel there was a lot about the Pilot you wanted to find out about.

“Great takeoff by the way” you remarked to him and he smiled lightly.

“Thanks, I’d practised take-off loads in flight school and then just lots of experience I suppose”

The way he spoke was so gentle but also with such passion for his career in his voice.

“What about you, how long have you been in the air for?”

“I’ve been cabin crew for 3 years now, I love it. I was saying to Holly earlier that no matter how many times I fly, I still get the same buzz each time we take off and land”

You watched as his lips turned upwards into a smirk “You’ve not experienced my landing yet, wait until you do”

You laughed at the comment and right on time, Andy came back.

“Fancy swapping jobs for the day?” He joked when he saw you in his chair. You laughed and got up “No thank you, I’d rather not be responsible for 130 passengers” you said and they laughed.

“You guys need anything before I head back out?” You asked them both.

“Could I get a tea if possible please y/n?” Harry asked you politely.

“Of course, how do you take it?”

“Milk and 2 sugars” he told you and you took a mental note of it.

“Nothing for me thanks y/n” Andy said.

You headed back to the cabin, being stopped multiple times by passengers to ask for certain things before making this Captain his tea.

You knocked on the cockpit door and went in.

“Here’s your tea for you” you said handing it to Harry. He smiled and took it off you “Thanks” You headed back to get a Karen in row 21 the G&T she had previously asked for .

“Y/n!” You heard your name being called by the captain from behind the door of the cockpit you had just been in.

You sighed a little, sensing something was wrong and headed back in.

“That’s the best cup of tea anyone has ever made me” he remarked as he smiled at you.

You laughed slightly “I’ll add tea-making skills to my CV then”

“Honestly it’s perfect, I might have to request you on every one of my flights so you can make me the perfect cuppa”

“Right you two, enough with the flirting. Styles we’ve got 25 minutes until landing” Andy jumped in and you and Harry both laughed.

Andy winked at you and you continued with the rest of your tasks.

You arrived in Düsseldorf, with a very smooth landing from Captain Styles at 7:20 am with the next flight at 8 am, giving you a 20-minute turnaround time to get things ready for the next lot of passengers boarding. It was a quick turnaround and before you knew it, you were taking off from Düsseldorf back to London

Landing back at Heathrow at 9:30 am, the next flight was at 10:15 and already there was an issue.

A nervous passenger was starting to feel unwell and wasn’t sure if she would be able to fly to Las Palmas. You and Emma were trying to convince her that the 4-hour and 30-minute trip would be completely safe and she had nothing to worry about.

“I can’t, I can’t fly. What if the plane crashes or falls into the sea? I can’t swim, I will drown and die. I can’t” the passenger who looked no more than 25 said.

“I completely understand your nerves, I can assure you that aeroplanes these days are made to be very very safe and the chances of anything happening are so very slim” you tried to reason with her.

Meanwhile, Emma had instructed Daniel to tell the flight deck what the delay was.

“Hi, I heard we’ve got a nervous flyer?” You heard the same voice who had complimented your tea-making skills say from behind you. The woman nodded.

You looked up to see Harry standing in the cabin, looking to speak with the passenger.

You stepped back and let him crouch down beside her in her seat.

“I’m Harry, I’m the Captain who’ll be taking you over to Palma today. Can I ask your name?” He asked kindly to the passenger.

“It’s Rebecca” she said.

“Okay Rebecca, it’s nice to meet you. So Daniel explained to me that you’re quite nervous when flying?”

“Yeah, I worry the plane will crash or fall into the water”

“Okay I can see why those are concerns, the risk of a crash or the plane failing and falling into the sea is 1 in 11 million. The aircraft is completely safe and in all my years of flying, I’ve never had an emergency on board, well actually I forgot my coffee once which was a real emergency. I’m a real grump without my coffee” he joked and the passenger laughed, as did you at the comment.

“The team are all here to look after you during the flight and if you need anything at all, you can press this button above your head for assistance and they’ll be right over to help you. Does that put your mind at ease a little bit?” He asked still crouched down beside her.

“It does thank you yes captain” Rebecca smiled.

“Good, we’ll be taking off in around 10 minutes so sit back, relax and try and enjoy the flight as much as you can” He smiled and renters back into the cockpit to being the takeoff procedure.

During the flight, the nervous passenger fell asleep halfway through and only woke up when the plane was safely on the ground. Harry came to check on her as she was disembarking and she couldn’t thank him enough for his kindness in calming her down.

“It’s no trouble at all, you have a good holiday now” he told her as she left the aircraft.

So he was attractive, funny, intelligent, good at lifting 150-ton planes off the ground and great at calming people down. If you hadn’t already fallen in love with this man, by the next 3 flights, you definitely will have.

Thankfully, the following 3 flights were uneventful, except for the drunken guy who had spilt his crisps all over another passenger which you had to clean up.

The last flight from Venice back to base at Heathrow was welcomed. Your feet were sore, your makeup had half melted off and you couldn’t wait to get your hair out of the uncomfortable bun you were required to wear all day.

After seeing all the passengers off the plane, you started to clear up.

“What a day, thanks for all your help guys” Harry shouted down the cabin as he locked it up for the night.

“No problem Captain Styles, hope to be working with you again soon” Emma said to him.

“Likewise, you guys head off I’m just going to do a walk around” you heard him say.

“Are you sure?” Emma said. “Yeah sure, thanks again everyone” he said once more.

You, Holly, Emma and Daniel started to get ready to leave when you felt Harry’s arm touch yours slightly.

“You stay” you heard him whisper into your ear subtly as you passed him to get your bag.

You blushed and swallowed hard “You guys go, I need the loo” you said to the rest of them.

“Go in the airport” Daniel said and you hinted at him to go.

“Weak bladder, you go I’ll see you soon” you smiled at them.

“Text me later!” Daniel said and you smiled as they left the aircraft.

“Weak bladder eh?” The captain raised an eyebrow at you when everyone was out of sight.

You laughed “I couldn’t think of anything else”

He laughed and smirked at you “I couldn’t help but think about you today. That shitty landing in Venice was your fault, I couldn’t think of anything else”

“I’ll just add ‘distraction to pilot’ on my CV as well then shall I?” You joked.

“You’re such a distraction to the pilot,” he said quietly as he leaned in closer to you.

He cups your face in his hands and he leans in and slowly kisses you. The kiss soon starts to grow more intense as moans echo through the cabin.

He’s started to groan in your ear and kiss your neck up and down.

He pushes you down into a seat in the front row by your hips and he kneels down in front of you.

His hands go up underneath your skirt and start to pull on your tights to reveal your bare legs.

"Harry we can’t do this here." You say completely out of breath already.

“You’re right, the toilet is better. Does this count as joining the mile high club even if we’re not in the air?” He smirked as he led you, barefoot to the bathroom.

For the next 10 minutes, you and Harry enjoyed each other’s company in the toilet as he moved his hips slowly inside of you, each thrust getting faster and faster.

You felt like you might collapse soon and he knew it too so he decided to stop just before you orgasmed and let you out of the toilet.

You sat down in the front row, completely out of breath, a little disheartened he’d pulled out before you orgasmed.

He appeared from the toilet, zipping up his trousers and putting his belt back on.

“Let’s finish at my house” he said and you happily obliged. It was fair to say that night you never got any sleep, despite how tired you had been after your shift.

Thanks to Harry giving you the most amazing sex you’d ever had, you had never been more grateful to be an Air Hostess as you had been that day for meeting your now boyfriend, Captain Harry Styles.

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[notsoattractivearenti]

1+1 = 4 (Mason Mount x Fem!Reader)

WC: 3.0K

Warnings: mention of c-section, post-surgery recovery

A/N: i haven’t written anything since last month and i’ve missed writing so here it is... dad!Mason for me and y'all my loves 🥰🫶🏻 apologies if this isn’t so good lol tbh i wrote this for my own comfort cuz it's been an extremely rough few weeks so i kinda needed this and i’m a huge sucker for my faves as attentive partner and dad fics! not to mention this is officially the longest fic I've written + posted here! hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 💗 apologies for any grammatical errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍

—

You just woke up from a short nap after your C-section. Your baby was not supposed to be born for another month, but when your doctor saw the umbilical cord was wrapped around their neck during ultrasound, they told you and Mason that an emergency C-section had to be done the next day before your baby moved to the birth position. You recalled the day it happened.

—

You were really scared and nervous even though you have given birth before – but your first pregnancy and labor went smoothly so you didn’t exactly anticipate this. Plus, you had never gone through any major surgery your whole life ­– you just were not ready at all. You wanted another vaginal delivery but since the circumstances changed, you didn’t have a choice and all you cared about was your little one coming into the world safe and sound.

Mason was scared too, but he tried to conceal it from you. He just knew he had to be by your side all the time, as you were about to go through another life-changing moment but not as you planned. He was worried about the baby but even more about you ­– he felt so helpless because he basically couldn’t do anything but be there for you. If he could, he would make himself be the one who bears the pain instead of you.

On the way home after the checkup, you sat in the passenger seat and just silently stared at the road with your hand resting on top of your belly – subconsciously rubbing it sometimes – while thinking about the sudden news. Mason noticed how quiet you were, and as he drove he grabbed your hand to hold it tight.

“My dear, everything will be okay,” he said softly, “little peanut will be just fine. So will you.”

You sighed. “Maybe you’re right, but Mase...” Your voice was shaky, “I’m terrified. I really am...”

He took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at you, then kissed your hand and rubbed it with his thumbs repeatedly.

“I know, Y/N. But you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known and you’re going to get through this like the badass you are.” He assured you.

“And I will be with you the entire time and take care of you. I promise.” He added.

You smiled a little, still nervous but way less than before. You knew he was also worried yet he still gave you the comfort you needed. That is one of the things about Mason that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

“Also, picture how excited Gem will be when she finds out she’s going to meet her baby sibling soon!”

Before Mason even finished his sentence, the possible scenario was already playing in your head. You looked back to the time you and Mason broke the news to Gemma, your 4 year-old daughter – she screamed then cried out of happiness. She has been so excited to have a little sister or brother since and kept asking when will the baby be born. You could clearly imagine how she would react this time.

“Oh God,” you put your hand on your forehead and jokingly groaned, “she’s going to scream her ass off again isn’t she?”

He shook his head playfully and laughed. “Well that’s my daughter alright!”

—

During the surgery, Mason was sitting next to you the whole time, not wanting to let go of your hand. You were fully conscious since you had regional anesthesia, and to distract yourself from your anxious thoughts you and Mason chatted about the most random things – and it helped calming you down.

You both decided not to find out about your baby’s sex just like when you were pregnant with Gemma. Of course you two were curious, but you wanted to surprise yourselves. A boy or a girl, it doesn't really matter because you will love the baby regardless of the sex.

Suddenly, you both heard the sound of your baby’s cry. The doctor lifted them up so you two could see and excitedly announced, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”

You and Mason had your mouths wide open and looked at each other immediately once you knew you had another daughter. She came to join your little family sooner than expected, but she was healthy and all your worry was gone in an instant. Mason kissed your forehead and your lips, then whispered to your ears, “Thank you baby, I’m so proud of you.”

The nurse then brought the baby to you so you could see her up close. She put her next to your face, and you could feel tears of happiness streaming down your face – the presence of your newborn girl warmed your heart.

“Hi baby girl,” you tearfully greeted your daughter, “welcome to the world! Mommy loves you so much.”

Mason watched that moment and he was left speechless. He couldn’t stop smiling and crying as he couldn’t find the words to describe the overwhelming joy and immense love he felt at the moment. He was still processing the fact that he had another girl to love for the rest of his life. As he wiped his tears, he quietly whimpered in awe, “she’s so precious… My little peanut.”

—

As you woke up from your nap post surgery, you could feel the anesthesia started to wear off. You moaned and pressed your lips together over the pain you felt on the incision area. You couldn’t really get up because when you tried to move even a little bit, it would hurt so bad. You looked around the hospital room you were in and you saw Mason sitting on the sofa near the window while holding your newborn daughter.

He didn’t take his eyes off of her even for a second, you could tell he was so in love. This reminded you of the day when Gemma was just born – once he held her in his arms, his eyes were locked on her.

You couldn’t stop staring at him as you found this moment so heartwarming and adorable. He then took a quick look at you and when he saw you were awake, a wide smile appeared on his face.

“Oh look, Mommy’s awake,” he said as he got off the sofa to come over to you, “how are you feeling sweetheart?”

“Uh… pain...” You muttered. “But don’t worry, I’m okay.”

“Oh no… I’m sorry, Y/N.” He knitted his eyebrows, the tone of his voice showed how worried he really was. “Tell me what I can do to help ease it. I’ll do anything to make you feel better.”

You smiled as his hand was stroking your arm.

“Thank you love,” you said to Mason, “but let’s just wait for the nurse. With you two here with me right now I can handle this pain.”

“By the way… Can you stop hogging my baby and hand her over to her mom?” You jokingly asked him.

“Oops, sorry!” He laughed while gently putting her on your side.

—

Few hours later, the nurse suggested you get out of bed and try walking around for a bit. Even though you were still experiencing discomfort, you gladly took her suggestion as you didn’t like laying in the bed for too long. Mason, who wasn’t fond of the idea, expressed his concern to the nurse.

“Ma’am, are you sure it’s okay? The wound on my wife’s stomach is still fresh… Isn’t it too soon?”

“Sir, I get your concern and I can guarantee you it is necessary as it is a part of the recovery. Moving around after the surgery helps the recovery process. Don’t need to worry, we’ll check in on you every so often. If you need anything, you can call us by pushing the button next to the bed.” The nurse explained to both of you in a calm manner.

Mason sighed in relief and nodded.

“Thank you,” you said to the nurse, “this is my first time going through a C-section and my husband and I have been very anxious about it. Not to mention this was unplanned so we didn’t exactly come prepared.”

“Understandable. It is normal to feel nervous, Ma’am. We are happy to help.” The nurse acknowledged your worries.

As soon as the nurse left the room, you tried to get out of bed and grimaced while one of your hands was on your wound area. Mason was getting you a glass of water when he saw you – fright was written all over his face immediately.

“Baby!” He spontaneously yelled as he rushed over to your side and helped you. out.

“Ssshh, Mase, I’m alright,” you put your arm around his neck and tried to soothe him, “just want to get up, that's all.”

“Don’t be so stubborn!” He was shaking a little – he felt a genuine fear. “My God, Y/N, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Oh please, don’t be a drama queen,” you couldn’t help but make fun of his reaction. “I said I’m alright, hahaha!”

He playfully rolled his eyes in response. You laughed at him and suddenly felt stabbing pain on your wound.

“Ouch!” You shouted. “Man, I can't even laugh without feeling pain!”

“Well, I’m glad you were amused but I guess no more comedy for a while for you, Mrs. Mount.” he said as he stroked your back.

Mason gently supported your body and carefully assisted you on taking your first steps post surgery. You squeezed your eyes, ground your teeth and winced as you were still experiencing the sharp pain – especially when you moved. Mason’s heart ached seeing you struggling like this, he felt guilty even but he knew nothing else he could do but support you throughout the recovery.

“Don’t rush it, sweetheart. It hasn’t been 12 hours after the surgery,” he emphasized. “Just take one little step at the time when you’re ready, okay?”

—

“Baby, Gem is coming here with my parents!” He excitedly shouted from across the room.

Your eyes widened and a squeal left your mouth when you heard that Gemma was coming. As you were in the hospital, Mason’s parents were taking care of her. You have been looking forward to the moment when your girls finally met. She had been impatiently waiting to be able to hold her baby sibling – she even practiced with her doll all the time. 

At this point you could stand up, walk, and sit down. The incision still hurt and discomfort came and went all the time but the painkiller was working well and the bliss of having a newborn was able to distract your mind from the pain. Mason had been so attentive to you and always ready to help you. He thought you needed a day to rest, therefore with your permission he respectfully asked everyone – except your parents and siblings – not to pay a visit at the hospital and wait until you all settled at your home instead. 

“Where is Gem now? Is she close? Are they here already?” You eagerly asked.

“I don’t know,” he answered, “I’ll call my mum.”

And before he even pressed call, Debbie texted him to let him know they just arrived at the hospital. He was beaming when he saw the text, and passed the news to you.

“They’re here! I’ll go get them,” he said as he kissed your forehead and got out to pick them up.

Trying not to hurt yourself, you didn’t act too excited on the outside but you sure were within. Sitting down on your bed, you pulled the baby crib closer and carefully picked her up.

“Hey little angel,” you whispered softly into her tiny ear, “you’re about to meet your big sister. She’s been waiting for you… You’re going to love her as much as she loves you.”

She made a slight smile and you noticed that. You chuckled, you thought it was like she was also excited to meet Gemma. You gave little kisses all over her cute face, and as you did that you could feel how you were completely filled with great love and glee – one more girl has stolen your heart. 

Suddenly, you heard the door was opened, followed by a little giggle you love so much. Your heart was beating really fast – it was going to be one of the biggest moments in your life – you didn’t know if you could handle your emotions when it happened.

You saw Gemma walking in with one hand holding her dad’s and the other covering her mouth. She looked so eager to finally see her baby sibling – she didn’t know it was a girl beforehand – and you wanted to see how she reacted when she found out she had a sister. Behind them were Debbie and Tony, and Debbie had already started recording with Mason’s phone. Gemma then saw you and excitedly yelled, “Mommy!”

You giggled and waved at her in response. 

“Do you want to sit next to Mommy and baby peanut, Gem?” Mason gently asked her.

“Yes Daddy! I want to see my baby peanut now!” She responded impatiently.

Mason picked her up and sat her down next to you. When she saw her sister up close, she squealed and said “Wow, baby peanut is so small and cute!”

You introduced your firstborn to your newborn.

“Gemma, meet Iris…”

She gasped and looked at both you and Mason in disbelief.

“You have a sister, Gem!” Mason cheered.

Gemma was so happy to have a sister and she started to cry. You might have pictured this beautiful moment in your head before but what really happened was a lot better than you had imagined. It was quite overwhelming to see how emotional she was and you eventually cried as well. Mason was really touched, almost shed a tear when he saw how you and Gemma were crying. He immediately grabbed some tissues from his pocket – he was aware this was going to happen – to wipe the tears off his girls’ faces.

“Mommy… Can I hold Iris?” Gemma nervously asked, her big brown eyes were still watery but you could see the sparkles of joy in them.

“Of course, sweetie.”

You carefully handed Iris onto Gemma’s lap, teaching her how to support Iris’ little body. She was so gentle and cautious, uneasy at first as if she was afraid to hurt Iris. Mason tried to ease her since he got how nervous Gemma was – he kissed the top of her head over and over again while assuring her that she was doing fine holding her sister – and it worked out even though it took a while.

Finally feeling comfortable, Gemma gently let go of one of her hands and started caressing Iris’ cheeks. Her eyes were locked in just like his dad earlier, and you just knew she was so deeply in love with her little sister. 

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she, Gem?” Mason was beaming in awe and Gemma nodded in agreement.

Both Gemma and Mason showered Iris with kisses. The immense amount of love Iris was getting made your heart soar. You looked at your husband and your girls and thought to yourself: how did I get so lucky?

Mason then gave you a quick but passionate kiss on your lips. He looked deeply into your eyes and expressed his gratitude and appreciation for you.

“Y/N, the way you had to bear the pain to bring me two amazing kids to our life is unbelievable. You are the most incredible woman and I can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, for us… I’m so lucky to have you as my wife and the mother of our girls. I will always try to make you happy, feel loved and give you everything you need and deserve because you have given me the life I’ve always dreamed of…”

You had no words and were about to cry again. You pulled him closer and pressed your lips against his – it was a moment full of tenderness and sweet affection. As your lips parted, you two whispered “I love you” to one another.

Debbie – who was still recording – and Tony were also emotional although they were trying to keep themselves together because they thought they didn’t want to ruin the beautiful moment between your little family. You then asked the grandparents to come see the newest addition to the Mount family.

“Iris Mount… Such a beautiful name, Y/N!” Tony complimented.

“That’s perfect for her! Thank you, Y/N, for giving us wonderful grandkids!” Debbie chimed in and gave you a hug.

“Uh, Mum… I contributed too, you know. Why don’t I get a thank-you? ” Mason jokingly protested.

“Yes but you weren’t the one who carried them for months and gave birth, were you?” Debbie lightheartedly replied.

You chuckled at their banter – you held yourself back from laughing as usual because it would hurt you.

With his mother clearly winning the argument, Mason humorously backed out, pouted then stated his closing statement.

“That’s true. But Y/N and I do make the most beautiful babies.”

Debbie and Tony couldn’t help but laugh at his comeback.

—

Yes, he might not be the one who was pregnant and given birth, but he has always been an amazing and present father to Gemma. No matter how tight his schedule could be, he would always make time for her daughter. He might have missed a few milestones that happened unexpectedly but other than those he never wanted to miss out so much on his daughter’s life. When he was out of town for away games, he always asked for daily updates on Gemma and called you on Facetime in every chance he got.

Mason is an ultimate girl dad and takes great pride in it. He would dress up as princess wearing a tiara and Gemma’s little dress that barely fits him and have a tea party with her, buy a makeup set she asked for, and sometimes he would show up at training wearing a headband with the biggest bow on his head because Gemma put it on him before he left. He always said he loves being a girl dad and would do it all over again – now he really gets to do it all over again…

—

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