#I originally read this 10 years ago and I STILL think of it sometimes

[silvermoon424]

This was in one of the official Puella Magi Madoka Magica Anthology books

#I originally read this 10 years ago and I STILL think of it sometimes #as a fellow big-breasted girl I gotta say mine are full of hopes and dreams and loneliness too #pmmm #madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #mami tomoe #sayaka miki #madoka kaname #comic #doujinshi

[foundfamilynonsense]

I don’t think some people realize why the gray jedi thing pisses some of us off so badly.

Imagine you like lord of the rings and you decide to look around the fandom.

And it turns out that 10+ or something years ago someone wrote a piece of fanfiction where they rewrote the rules for the ring. So instead of it only having one master and corrupting everyone else that tried to use it, it sometimes chooses to take a new master if it feels the person is worthy of it. And therefore this author’s self-insert OC can now use the one ring in all its glory without getting turned crazy.

This fanfic gets published (as some fanfics do) and most of the fandom has read it and loves it.

Now, when you (someone who has only dealt with canon works written by Tolkien) see this fic you go… huh. That’s nice, but it goes against the very point of the books and the lore tolkien created. So while it’s a good fic I’m not going to interact with it.

But then people keep harassing you for taking about/ writing the one ring the way tolkien wrote it to begin with.

And they SWEAR that this is the Actual lore of the one ring, and that YOU are wrong. Which is completely insane to you, because FRODE TOOK IT TO MORDOR FOR A REASON. There is only one lord of the ring!! That’s literally the name of the series that’s what it’s about!! If what the fandom was insisting about was possible, there would be no plot. In the original books.

This is why we are so upset over gray jedi!! Bc if it was possible to use the dark side but still be a good guy then wtf is wrong with Anakin? Why the fuck did Darth Vader fall to the dark side? Why did Luke struggle so much? If you can have your cake and eat it too why are the movies so fuckin long?? Why did Luke fail against Vader in Empire? what lesson did he learn in Return? Why would the movie be called Return of the Jedi if Luke had not learned the Jedi ways????

You can write OC’s as gray jedi all you want but when you start forcing it into canon it literally ruins the movies!

#star wars #pro jedi #anti gray jedi #anti grey jedi

[isaut]

𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒓— f!reader x chrollo lucilfer. 2.5 k, refurbished. original: ao3

synopsis: during a simple heist job two years ago, chrollo offered you a cigarette outside the library. it isn’t his fault he fell in love with you, is it? I finally felt it was time to give this fic a face lift. I’ve changed a lot since I started her, and it only felt right. If this gets a sign off from tumblr.com I’ll change the ao3 version

The skyline of Sirap is stunning, with the silhouetted buildings twinkling with lights, a hum bubbling from the streets and from the blimps in the sky. It’s a place that Chrollo has found solace in, has even made a home and a routine for himself in the past few years. He’s overstayed his welcome, set by his own nature. It’s been years since he’s fallen back into his mysterious, nomadic ways.  

Sitting in his study, Chrollo’s gaze is not on the skyline. He is not taking in the movements below him, taking up an old pastime of watching as people scurry by and wondering where they are going. Instead, his gaze is fixated on his computer, the blue light of the screen singing his eyes, drying them out. The pen in his hand clicks steadily against the stained oak of his desk. 

The steady click click click of the pen does little to soothe the worries that have begun to stir in his stomach. The unsettling feeling on his soul as he reads the message before him.

It’s an email. From his bank. A simple request for 10 000 000 jenny. With a simple message attached. 

I took care of the man who requested I eliminate your lover. I’ve forwarded his balance to you. You should receive a file from me shortly with details. Congratulations on your relationship. 

In a brief fit of rage that is quite unbecoming of the man he wishes to present himself as, Chrollo slams his hand against his desk before lending back in his chair, stewing over the message. He tears his eyes away from the message, looking instead out the large windows before him. He takes a deep breath of the not fresh air, and it does little to calm his emotions. 

As he watches a blimp float by in the sky, red light blinking against the darkness of the night, Chrollo can’t help but feel silly at how emotional he’s being. He can’t help but remember how he used to feel so indifferent, how everything felt stale. 

Stale like the air around him. 

With little reluctance, Chrollo sends the money over to his somewhat of an ally, Illumi. Their relationship was little more than constant transactions. He stands, stretches his arms above his head. Calling himself a banker had its pros: boring enough no one asked about it. It also had its cons: sometimes sitting in front of a computer for too long, researching his next thrill instead of boring into an excel spreadsheet. 

Chrollo thinks that, at the end of the day, death suits him. Even if he’s falsely climbed into the carriage. Even if his back aches from time to time. He briefly considers doing a few of the stretches his lover had recommended. His lover who had gotten him in the mess. The one where he carefully removes bricks from the walls around him and lays new bricks as he lies to cover up his reality. His lover who was still probably perched in the living room, waiting for him to come out of his office.  

The idea of you patiently waiting on the couch fills Chrollo with an uncomfortable guilt. He scrolls through his phone, looking for a text chain. He can’t find it, and resorts to drafting a new text in a small group message of just himself, Shalnark and Machi. If he took time to be truthful with himself, it felt odd texting the two of them. Even a year later, there’s an uncomfortable void, two of them in fact, of accumulated grief that press against his soul. He can’t shake it, nor can he steep in it. 

We need to have a meeting. In the next few months. 

Not ready to linger in those feelings, Chrollo locks his phone. Perhaps he’d mellow in those thoughts of the all consuming grief tonight, with your head resting on his chest as sleep washes over you. His gaze returns to the skyline. It’s dark out, it must be well past dinnertime. 

Chrollo shuts down his computer with the forceful, long press of a button. Shalnark, who set up the device for him, is berating him for not using softer methods. Chrollo pockets his phone, eager to deposit it somewhere and forget about it until morning. The journey from his office to the living room isn’t a long one, and it’s one he can chart by the way you’ve dappled yourself along the path. 

Gentle music flows from the living room, playing on the speakers that were brought from your apartment when you moved in. There’s a sweatshirt of yours on the ground that he picks up without much thought. He deposits it on the back of the couch, upon arriving to a deserted living room. 

It’s not deserted. There’s a blanket that looks like it used to be wrapped around you, slumped in the corner of the couch. There’s a stack of essays on the middle cushion, and a pen set upon them. Half a glass of wine sits on the coffee table, and beside it is your iPad, unlocked. 

Satisfaction brings the cat back. Chrollo leans over the iPad, investigating what you had been doing. He takes it upon himself to close the online shopping tab after seeing the total in the cart. 

Rounding the corner, you hold a mug of tea in your hands. The brightness of the lemongrass tea fills the air, and you take a deep breath, both of the tea and of the sight of your boyfriend. Both senses wake you up. 

Chrollo picks up the blanket, and sits in its place, throwing it over the armrest. He picks up the essay you had been in the middle of grading and flips it to the cover page. It’s thick, at least ten pages. A Turn About the Room: How Women Have Always Been the Secluded Ones. 

“Done working?” You ask him. 

Chrollo rests his arm along the backside of the couch to take you in. One of his shirts peeks out from below an oversized sweater of yours. Glasses perched atop your nose. He holds his hand out to you, palm up. 

“You should be too.”  

“I see how it is,” You say, coming over to his open hand. Your hand is still warm from holding the mug, and you slide your palm easily against Chrollo’s. 

Only, the man before you isn’t Chrollo, no, there is no mass murderer before you. No grandiose thief. He’s just Kuroro, a man with a penchant for reading and a sadness behind his eyes that’s curtained by charisma and a modern day definition of chivalry. 

A man who’s raising his other hand to take the mug from your own  hands, the heat barely bothering him. His fingers twine with yours, and he brings your hand to his lips to place a kiss upon it. 

“Do you?” 

You nod, leaning over the back of the couch and into his personal space and pressing a kiss against his cheek. He smells warm, of mellow, musky notes that you’ve come to associate when you think of him. Home smells like Kuroro, it smells like the cologne he wears and the aftershave in the morning, curling with a warm drink and incense in the air. 

It’s time to stop working for the day. 

Rounding the couch, you take a seat right beside Kuroro. Truly, you’re more so on top of him with the way your knee hinges over his thigh. Neither of you care. Not when you’re so close, not when the world seems to just be the two of you. 

Kuroro returns your mug to you, his now warmed hand tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“How’s work going?” You ask, blowing on your tea before taking a tentative sip. 

Kuroro hums at your question, resting his hand on your thigh. He rubs his hand over the smooth, plush skin. He ponders over how to answer, how to toe the line between being honest and being deceitful. It’s all for your safety after all. And here he has been, thinking he’d been doing a good job of maintaining your blissful ignorance to the world he hid in. 

“Stressful,” Kuroro admits, taking a deep breath before raising his gaze. 

“Mon pauvre,” You murmur, “Want some tea?” 

Pressing his brows together, Kuroro nods. You watch with infatuated eyes as he does just as you had earlier: blow on the warm drink, letting the steam lick up his face before taking a small sip. 

“Want to go get dinner?” You pose. “I haven’t eaten yet… We could go to the sushi place down the block.” 

The news Kuroro had received minutes earlier rings in his head. Bounces from ear to ear, unable to be ignored. He thinks of the mom and pop restaurant that had infatuated the two of you, of the kind couple who ran it. Of the grandma who greeted you everytime you came in. Who cooed over how cute of a couple you made. 

He thinks of an assassination attempt on either one of you. Of the chaos it would cause, of the rubble and the debris. He can envision your scared expression. The dead bodies of the kind family he’d come to know so well. 

It tugs at his heartstrings in a way he had believed was long since dead. Perhaps you had made him too soft. Too human. He felt the youth coursing through his soul again. 

With reluctance, Kuroro shakes his head. “I’ll make us something. Then you don’t have to get dressed.” 

“You’re so considerate,” You say with a smile. “What are we having?” 

“I have to check the fridge,” Kuroro replies. “Want to join me in the kitchen?” 

Of course you do. You’d altered your 10 year plan to accommodate the man. You’d follow him anywhere. 

Kuroro is, in his nature, secretive. It has always carried a certain charm with it: adds to the allure of his dark hair, his well-read nature and clean dress. However, you’ve picked up on a few tells he carries around with him. For instance, when he’s set on surprising you there’s a boyish glint in his brown eyes. When he’s morose in thoughts of life, both his own and philosophical, he’s oddly talkative. Always eager to find solace with his head on your chest or in your lap. And when he’s had a bad day at work, he’s quiet. 

You don’t like when he’s quiet. It’s not that you feel the need to fill silence with Kuroro. In fact, normally it’s quite the opposite. Silence is comfortable. 

The silence that hangs in the kitchen is not the comforting closeness you’ve grown to love. 

As Kuroro investigates the fridge for something to eat, you take it upon yourself to put on some music in the background. Amy Winehouse’s voice seeps through the silence. 

“Do you want tteokbokki?” Kuroro asks, holding a bag of rice cakes in his hand. His other rests on the refrigerator door. 

You come to stand beside him, peering into the fridge. It’s barren. Only a few condiments and pickled vegetables litter the shelves. You feel an emptiness in your stomach. Did you eat lunch? 

“Sure,” You say, resting your cheek on his shoulder. “Do you want some help?” 

“Just your company,” Kuroro responds smoothly, closing the door and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. The base notes of his cologne still cling to his skin. There’s cedar and vanilla. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, releasing you slowly. 

The gesture has your heart skipping a beat. You feel your face warm, feel as Kuroro’s hand slides along your shoulders. 

It makes Kuroro smile slightly, watching your reaction come over. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, then opens the refrigerator open again. 

“Go sit. I’ll get you some more wine.” 

You wet your lips as you take your place on the kitchen island. Kuroro sets the chilled white wine bottle in front of you, then busies himself in the kitchen, combining spices and sauces together and simmering them over low heat. 

To keep his mind off whatever was bothering him, you launch into telling him about the essays you’ve been grading— Final papers for your class on women’s oppression in literature. You teach it every other year in the spring, and this conversation is reminiscent of one you had when you first met Kuroro. 

This one is about Rokeya’s Sultana’s Dream and Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. It’s a fresh take on Austen’s work, and you’re glad to see Rokeya being cited. There are a few inconsistencies in the line of reasoning, but the student is a year too young to technically take the course. She reminds you of yourself, if you’re being completely honest— Ambitious, if not a little scatterbrained. 

Kuroro turns off the stove and sets the pot atop a woven potholder in front of you. He adds side bowls and chopsticks to the spread. 

“I’d love to take a peek,” He says, getting himself a wine glass to join in with your drinking. 

“You can. Want to see it now?” 

Kuroro shakes his head and sits next to you. “You know I’ll get sauce all over it.” 

Shrugging, you pick up your chopsticks. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve spilt on an essay. “Thanks for cooking tonight.” 

“Careful, it’s hot,” Kuroro says as his you’re welcome. 

Even with his stomach pleasantly full, the overhead fan humming, and you pressed up against his side, sleep evades Chrollo. He tilts his head to the side, his hair fanned out on the too soft pillow. All pillows are too soft to him, anyways. He cushions his head for your comfort. 

Sleep’s tireless evasion from Chrollo is not one that he’s a stranger to. He often finds himself in this same position, surrounded by newfound comforts, his heart thrumming softly, his eyes on the twinkling lights of Sirap. Absentmindedly, he rubs his hand up and down your side, taking solace in the way your stomach moves with every deep breath you take. 

When you don’t drink before bed, you’re quick to rouse at his gentle petting. Sometimes, you wake at even the slightest shift. Groggily blinking away and rubbing your eyes, trying to see what’s wrong in the pitch black room. 

Not tonight. Tonight, you’re full and there’s wine in your brain. And Chrollo is alone with his thoughts. 

He turns his head to look at you. Cranes his neck to place a kiss to the top of your head without jostling you. 

There’s a grief on his soul tonight, and it’s not own he’s used to. Albeit accustomed to loss, Chrollo’s heart can’t fathom experiencing the gravity of loss again. To be responsible for someone’s death who was so innocent, who had nothing to do with the circumstances he put her in. 

So he places another kiss to your forehead, and shifts himself to wrap both of his arms around you. Invites your legs to tangle against his. He closes his eyes, and despite wishing for sleep it continues to evade him. So he takes deep breaths of you: shampoo, bodywash, oils and lotions. He lays in the dark, simply waiting. 

#chrollo x reader #by ophelia

[materialsscienceandengineering]

hi, do you have any resource recommendations for laypeople who want to grasp the most important essentials/fundamentals of material science? any help will be very appreciated!

Great question! Unfortunately, our definitions of 'laypeople' and 'fundamentals' may vary, so if this list doesn't have what you're looking for just let me know and I'll give it another shot.

Let's start with some... let's say 'unpublished/unofficial' resources. First - this blog. Not to toot my own horn, but I've got a good collection of original posts (try the tag MyMSEPost, or this year's newest variety 2024Daily) that I hope are fairly readable to the general public - and come with links and further reading resources for each topic. However, these posts are not comprehensive. I don't think I've ever talked about what is a crystal structure, for example. [Also, I've been doing this for, wow, almost 10 years now, so... that's a fair number of posts...] I also, one upon a time, made some MSE Masterpost posts, though those are probably pretty outdated by now and I can't guarantee the links all work.

Another resource is msestudent.com. They don't have an about page, but it seems to be a more official (i.e., non-Tumblr) blog about the fundamentals. That being said, while they do have a search system, they don't seem to have a table of contents. Both of these resources will help you learn some fundamentals, but they won't tell you what the fundamentals are if you don't already know them.

Other science Tumblr blogs have come and gone over the years, but @materiallugy seems to be currently posting, and @matmake was not too long ago. Both have separate websites with resources, though I'm not sure how comprehensive.

Now for undergraduate level resources that are comprehensive. These are introductory, but I suppose they might presuppose a high-school level education (basic chemistry and physics, probably):

Online classes, such as MIT OpenCourseware, or Coursera (two examples of many). Some of these kinds of resources are free, some aren't. MIT, in particular, isn't so much a class you take online as it is the resources (and sometimes videos) of their classes.

Textbooks. I used Materials Science and Engineering: An Introduction (Callister and Rethwisch), which I think is pretty common and a well respected book. Obviously it costs money, but I think it's safe to say you could go back a couple editions and save some money.

Less comprehensive but still official is the University of Cambridge's Teaching and Learning Packages. Again, this won't tell you what are the fundamentals if you don't know already know. For example, there are 78 at the moment - I wouldn't say the additive manufacturing TLP is essential to MSE, but atomic scale structure of materials is.

Additional resources:

Specifically corrosion

Online, virtual, general chemistry textbook

Online, virtual, organic chemistry textbook

Someone else's compiled list of links and resources, which may be outdated

YouTube videos from a professor of MSE (side note: I have not watched these and cannot verify their accuracy or usefulness, but the guy does teach this stuff for a living...)

Hope this helps, and everyone feel free to chime in if you have any resources of your own you use!

#Materials Science #Science #Student #Anonymous #Replies

[olderthannetfic]

Sometimes I think about that time when I found a fic that clearly followed the plot of a fic written by astolat. A fic she written over 10 years ago, but still.

I made a comment saying, hey, this seems super similar to another fic I’ve read. did you get inspired by astolat?

And they said, ok yeah. Sorry, forgot to mark it as a remix. My bad, it’s fixed.

But I wonder if that author really did make a mistake, or were they trying to plagiarize astolat before getting caught? I’m not a fic writer, so I’m asking is forgetting to mark a fic as a remix actually an easy mistake to make?

Ps The notes says the fic is self-indulgent and written in just an hour, which makes me suspicious. “Self-indulgent” has the connotation that it came from only you, “written in an hour” makes me think you read it and rewrote it on an hour.

Do I have something, or am I just reading too much into this?

--

I think you have something, but I also wouldn't worry about it. Ideas are cheap. Execution is what matters.

I periodically run across fics where it looks like torture, but really, the characters are just undercover and it's a BDSM thing (little do the bad guys know). And one of them demands the other as payment at the end to get them out of there. I've written something more or less like this myself, though not pre-negotiated.

And if I know the author, I'll be like "So... that one QuiObi fic?" and they'll be like "Fuck yes!"

Unless I actually dug up what the hell the name of that fic was, reread it, and copied it a lot more closely, I'd never bother crediting it for such a basic trope any more than I'd credit the trope where one hero is like "What monster came up with this villain's trap???" and it turns out to be from the other hero's trashy novels.

(It's The Jewel of the Nile. It's always The Jewel of the Nile. In my fic. In every other Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty fic. Seriously, it's always this movie. An entire generation of viewers imprinted on that damn joke.)

Granted, this sounds like it was a lot more than just one trope, but even whole plots are a dime a dozen.

It wouldn't be surprising if they didn't think credit mattered that much or if they thought everyone would notice anyway because astolat is popular. Or maybe they were trying to get away with some shit. But even then, I can't work up much emotion over it because it's not the facts of astolat's plots that make people like her fic: it's the sum total of how she writes them.

I'm trying to think about why I don't usually care about this when I do care about the kind of nonfiction idea theft Hbomberguy did that video about. I think it's because most cases of the latter involve significantly more research to come up with the nonfiction idea, so there's a lot more pretense of intellectual work and originality. The plagiarist is citing the original researcher's sources as though they found them on their own.

For fiction, unless it's a barely-rephrased version of the original, it feels like much of the work was the actual writing of the prose, and the second author did do that themselves. They might have first encountered the tropes in a particular fic... but they weren't exactly very original there either.

I might feel differently if I read the actual fic in question though.

[zepskies]

Writer Tag

Thank you so much for tagging me @venus-haze! As always, your responses on this were really interesting and got me thinking about my answers. (Here's the original post.)

So these first questions are geared toward Ao3 stories.

How many works do you have on AO3? 48 and counting.

What's your total AO3 word count? Aw geez. According to the statistics page, 1,022,400.

(But I have more fics listed in Tumblr thanks to headcanons and things not yet posted in Ao3.)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Every Loyalty - (Jon Snow x OC)

And So It Goes - (Butcher x OC)

Never Say Goodbye - (Dean Winchester x Reader)

Break Me Down - (OC Version | Soldier Boy x OC)

Checkerboard - (Soldier Boy x Reader)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! Always. I love getting feedback and engaging with the people who take the time to read my work. 💜

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Ooh, it's gotta be this imagine in SPN fandom: "Sam crosses the line." In which he's in love with Dean's girlfriend.

(Sequel to "You are Dean's one exception.")

What the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Well, most of my stories have happy endings. But probably Never Say Goodbye (Dean W. x Reader). It's a soulmate AU, so very rom-com and fluffy, despite all the drama they went through.

Though I could also say the same of the last story in the Midnight Espresso-verse: In Bad Weather.

Do you write crossovers? No, I don't. I've enjoyed reading a few though.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes, unfortunately lol. It's inevitable for as long as I've been writing though.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yes lol. I'm a romantic though, so it's often a mix of fluff, straight up romance, occasionally dashed with angst and/or hurt/comfort.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge. (I hope not!)

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, but I've received solicitations lol.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yeah, when I was a teenager just starting out writing, I used to write with one of my best friends growing up. (We're still good friends to this day.)

What's your all-time favorite ship? That's pretty much impossible. 🤣 It depends on the fandom! Nowadays I tend to write for OCs or reader inserts though.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? Ooof, nothing recent. But I finally finished And So It Goes, which took me 3 years for some reason. 🙃

Though I do have both a Jason Teague x OC series and a Smallville Clark Kent x OC series outlined that realistically, I probably won't get to. 💔

What are your writing strengths? I've been told I'm good at dialogue and keeping canon characters in character, which is always amazing to hear! I try my best.

What are your writing weaknesses? Action scenes and smut scenes are my biggest writing challenges, though I've been told I do a decent job at them. I know I tend to use adverbs a lot lol (I'm trying to curb that).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? So I try to minimize use of this, but, I've gotten critiqued (putting it mildly) on this before for two reasons. Admittedly, I've had to revise myself in certain use cases, but also, there are slang words and phrases in certain Spanish cultures that wouldn't make sense to another Hispanic/Latino culture that doesn't use the word/phrase. So sometimes, it's not that it's wrong grammatically, but that it's slang.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Oh jeezus, probably Chronicles of Narnia fandom when I was like, 10 and brand new to writing. 😂

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? Ooh a tough one. I feel like there are so many! I do have a story I had outline years ago now for Steve Rogers/Captain America back in the MCU fandom (which I've written in before). But that fandom is a bit intimidating. 😂

What's your favorite fic you've written? Also really tough for me. I think it's a tie between two series:

Break Me Down (Soldier Boy x Reader)

Midnight Espresso (Dean W. x Plus-Sized Latina!Reader)

One totally took me by surprise by how much I enjoyed writing the series and the characters (and figuring out how to write Soldier Boy/Ben 😂).

While the other allowed me to be a little more indulgent with myself, writing from my personal experience and my culture.

The responses on both stories have been amazing and incredibly heartwarming. 💗

No pressure tags:

@thatonewriter15 @waywardxwords @impala-dreamer @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @deanwritings @deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @kaleldobrev -- and whoever else wants to join! 💜

#writer tag game #Ao3 #Supernatural #spn #the boys #game of thrones #jon snow #billy butcher #soldier boy #dean winchester #jason teague #sam winchester #clark kent #dean winchester x reader #smallville #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x oc #butcher x oc #jon snow x oc #dean winchester x you #soldier boy x you #favorite fics #getting feedback #on writing #writers who tumblr #writers on ao3 #writing strengths and weaknesses

[msookyspooky]

Fours a Franchise

Chapter 1

wordcount: 9,188

  

"What? No, I'm not doing it Rebecca! I told you already that I changed my mind-" 

"Yn, it's your last stop for the year! Do you know how insightful and inspiring it will be for the survivor to go back to where it all happened? Think of the book sales!" 

You paced your hotel room with your phone in hand. "I'm thinking of more than book sales, Rebecca…Like my sanity, my life, my-" 

"Okay, okay." She interrupted you over the phone. "But as your publicist, your assistant, the head coach of your career AND your number one cheerleader-" You rolled your eyes as she continued. "I'm HIGHLY suggesting you do this book signing." 

You blinked at the window. A huge high rise overlooking a bustling city, a far cry from your humble dwellings you were used to. "Are you suggesting this as my assistant or ordering me as my publicist?" You could hear the edge to your own voice as you felt your mouth twist into a frown.

"Hey, now. I work for you, remember? Bbuuttt, I know what sells. I mean…Let's face it, your um…Side novels were not what people wanted, sweetie. I've been right this far and look! Enjoying a cup of tea before Good Morning America last week! We even got you on Larry King, YN! Life is good so why mess it up over a town that has been a complete bore for over a decade?" You sighed and shifted your weight as she continued. "People love a survivor! They don't want to read a campy fantasy; they want reality. Out of Darkness. YN. The survivor. The fighter. 15 years of horror she faced. 18, 20, 23 were the tender ages she faced down homicidal maniacs some of which were betrayed friends. Trauma, guilt, hatred, fear and she faced it all-"

"Tone down the sales pitch. I'm aware of what I went through, just…Why this town? I've been traveling for weeks on end! Why do I have to go back THERE?" 

"And you can take a break after this one!…Now, it doesn't look very convincing that you're 'Out of Darkness' if you're not willing to go back to the place that Darkness came from to sign some simple books, hmm? It could plummet book sales, appearances, and your followers if you tell them you refuse to go back to Woodsboro…Oh, that reminds me; I need to update your Facebook page for tomorrow." 

Silence stretched on as you stared out your hotel's huge glass window at the world around you. Rebecca Walter's continued with what you could only describe as her customer service voice. Aka her 'We're done talking about this' voice. "...Okay! Your plane leaves at 6 tomorrow morning and I'll pick you up in the rental car to get to your hometown." 

You exhaled in exasperation. "It's not really my hometown. I wasn't even there a year." 

"Right, right. Anyways, get some beauty sleep and I'll call you in the morning. By-ee!" She sang out as she hung up. 

You sighed deeply, staring out at the big city around you. It should be exciting, new, wonderful but all it did was make you feel small and out of place…

Focusing on your reflection staring back at you; You still looked the same that you did 10 years ago as far as aging went but your hair was more modernized for 2011 millennial input. Recommended by who else but Rebecca. You didn't hate it but you felt out of place sometimes. Same with the bandage style bodycon dresses or pleated skirts or peplum tops and not to mention the too high stiletto pumps or the clunky jewelry all in colors you didn't like. It wasn't you. No matter your original style, this style was just to appease the masses that you had your shit together. 

You frowned at your own reflection. It had only been a little over a year ago that you were 'highly suggested' by your publicist to write 'Out of Darkness'. The title wasn't your idea, the photo on the front made you look like a damn Céline Dion CD cover and the lies that you had everything figured out enough to help others overcome trauma made you nauseated. Rehashing your worst times in life endlessly with a forced smile to a bunch of eager listeners with hopeful eyes in your direction that everything gets better…It really didn't; not for you. You just made the best of it. It felt like you were lying to them even if it was white lies to help others feel better.

You watched people walking on the busy street, the entire city lit up as you reminisced…You sometimes wondered if Sidney or Tatum had taken your place; what would they do? You knew Tatum would adore being a minor celebrity and probably get on some reality show or do interviews willingly to fit the lifestyle even more. You could hear her saying "If I'm gonna be traumatized; I'm gonna be traumatized with Gucci." 

Sidney probably would have genuinely believed in what she was doing and would move on. She would feel a purpose to help and inspire others. You wanted to be like that, be like Sidney would be. Hell, even be like Tatum. But the fact was; you weren't Sidney or Tatum. Your mom wasn't murdered by those two. Even if Sid and Tat were your friends…You had to accept the fact that Stu was partially right all those years ago in his own fucked up way. It was horrible what happened to them and to you and you will never forgive Billy and Stu for what they had done but the resentment you had for them wasn't comparable to Sidney's hatred after she found out who had killed her mother and best friend. Her Mom being made into a massacre that poor Sidney and Neil had to find was enough to make her ready to bludgeon her boyfriend to death with a lamp had you not stopped her… Sidney WOULD feel a great sense of duty to her mom and herself to help others overcome these types of situations. You wanted to as well but something in you didn't feel it…Maybe it was guilt? Or maybe what you lacked in life because of it? Mark wasn't here and you never got to find out if it could've worked with him or anyone else for that matter, friends outside the Woodsboro Survivors were nonexistent, and you felt alone in all of this. The secret felt like the heaviest burden on your shoulders you just couldn't shake.

With a heavy sigh; You pulled the curtains on the window to stop the bright city lights from pouring in. 

You walked to the bathroom to shower. Stripping off and looking at your body in the mirror. A scar on your left shoulder and your upper arm was the first to catch your gaze. One on your right forearm and one on your right hand where Neil stabbed you a decade ago. You went to make a fist and your right hand's middle finger and the ring finger trembled to form a fist fully. Not tightly closing as you clutched it in your other hand and looked away. Stepping into the hotel's shower and closing your eyes under the water. You let the water wash over your body as you thought of the last 10 years…How the hell did you end up here?

You faced the wall and leaned your head forward and let the water run down your back. Going from a normalish girl wearing what you wanted and no one knowing you as long as you didn't say your name; to trying to keep up with the kids and the Kardashians and EVERYONE recognizing you... From an isolated cabin to tv appearances nationwide.

'God, I can't believe Stu's ass hasn't barked up my tree after seeing me on TV….' You thought. Even if the malice you should have just wasn't there. You didn't even know if Stu or Billy were even alive or not.

You eventually turned off your water the more your mind wandered to places you didn't want to dwell on. Drying off before doing your nightly routine and getting ready for bed. You checked your phone to see no texts or missed calls from Randy or Dewey and your heart sank a little. Especially since you had to text or call them more often then they did you these days. You knew life was busy. God, did you ever know how busy life could be flying across the country routinely. However, you went from nightly calls from them both, to now, you were lucky to get a call once a month and even then that was usually phone tag with you calling them or them calling you. All of you are just too busy with life now.

You sat your phone down on the nightstand and laid your head down on your pillow. 

'I guess that's a part of growing up…People drift. It's like the trauma was what held us together and the more they move on; the less we need each other.' 

You felt your throat burn a little just thinking that thought before tightly closing your eyes. 

'Or the less they need me like I do them…'

———————————–—–—––––––––––

It was almost afternoon as you sat in the rental car's passenger seat. A picture of your aging Cherri on your screen. Your childhood cat that lived with your family passed away a few years back but you still had Cherri. A trusted family member was happy to take your extremely elderly dog in while you traveled. You swore to yourself you'd spend her final year or two with her instead of traveling for this dumb book signing. This was the last stop and then you were having a little chat with Rebecca.

 "Just text. I mean, you have a Droid. It's not 2005 anymore." Rebecca muttered as she eyed you.

"I know, I love this thing. But I still like calling." You admitted. It was SO much nicer than clicking each number anywhere from 2 to 4 times to get the letter you wanted. You hardly ever texted until you got your phone with an extended keyboard…You still kept the model Mark gave you as a keepsake at home. But a flip phone just wasn't going to cut it anymore.

"That's nothing, you'd die of overload with an Iphone." 

You huffed while calling Randy. "Who wants a phone with a touch screen you have to protect? And the screen is tiny too. I say it's just a fad and they'll die out in a year or two…"

"So, who are you calling up?"

You faltered as you heard Randy's voicemail after multiple rings. "…Well that sucks."

"What? Something wrong?" 

 You frowned as you looked at your phone. "Well, I tried calling Randy but he didn't answer and I don't want to call his house phone and bother his family this early…. There's Dewey." 

You pressed speed dial for him. Just to frown when it went straight to voicemail after a few rings as well. "...Which is apparently on duty." You drew out with a breath of air past your lips in exasperation. "So now, it's Gale." 

"Who?" 

"Gale Riley." You glanced at Rebecca. "Maiden name; Weathers." 

Her face lit up. "Oohh, god yeah! She was such a boss back in the day! Kid me had, like, starry eyes seeing her on tv." 

You smiled and held up a finger as Rebecca nodded while driving. Just when you saw the interstate sign pointing West to Woodsboro. 

It rang one time before she picked up.

"Hey, Gale? Everything okay? Kind of picked up real quickly there." You mumbled.

"What? Oh yeah, just…Writing my next book! I'm so busy with it. Halfway there. And my phone was beside me so… " 

"Oh, totally get it." You smiled to yourself knowing that the computer screen was blank and she was desperate for a distraction. You continued. "I tried calling Dewey but he didn't answer." 

"Oh, yeah…Sheriff Dewey is a very busy man." She muttered. 

"Yeah. So, if he panics later just let him know I was just reminding him I'm visiting Woodsboro today." 

"Today?" 

"Book Signing. " You felt uneasy as the 'Welcome to Woodsboro' sign came into view. "I'll be doing the signing at noon and was wondering if I could visit? I haven't even seen your place yet. It's only been what? 9 years of owning it?" 

Gale released an amused huff on the other line. "Yeah, something like that. I'll text you the address." 

"Thanks. And could I get Randy too? You know he only brings the family my way. I know it a little but I need a refresher because it's just a street away from his parents but I swear to god all those houses look alike." 

"Yeah, I'll send it your way…Listen, it's fine if you're too busy. So am I, obviously, but maybe we could get coffee? I've been dying to shit talk to somebody about this one pushy tart deputy at Dewey's work that keeps buttering him up with treats. Guess what? They taste like cardboard…" She was silent a moment before saying. "...Well…Unless you're running out of here as soon as you can. Been a long time since you stepped foot in this town." 

You sighed as houses came into view. "...No, I'm staying at least till the first kill." You deadpanned, no real humor in your voice.

"Yeah right. I'll see you later. Dewey's going to be over the moon when he finds out his surrogate sister's in town." 

You didn't know if that was sarcasm or genuine. You and Gale were not best friends by a long shot. Not even good friends. Honestly, sometimes you fight like two divorced parents trying to play nice while sharing custody of the kid aka Dewey. And yet, sometimes you both were the only company you had these days.

You listened to Rebecca talking aimlessly about nothing in particular as she drove. You sat in the passenger seat and suddenly it was like you were a 17 year old girl again…

 The memory played out in your head. Your family tried engaging with you as you sat there solemnly in the backseat. Torn up at leaving your old life behind for this place. You could just reimagine the view from the back window; looking at the town you only visited for your grandparents every so often. You dreaded being at a new school at the end of your Junior year. But your grandparent had a health scare and it was closer to your parent's work so you really had no choice in the matter when your folks decided to move there. Any other issues in life pertaining to you or your parents lives just sealed the deal for them even more.

You shook your head slightly with a forlorn expression when you both passed the school…Still the same after 15 years. In your mind's eyes, you could picture Tatum laughing and walking beside Sidney out of the bustling building. You closed your eyes a moment, imagining them waving at you as you passed by before opening them again. An ache in your chest slowly formed…You truthfully hadn't thought of your old friends in a decent amount of time but coming back here just seemed to resurface old wounds. It was so easy to be back in time to 1996. Preferably the Summer before your senior year. You were young and carefree as any teen could try to be. James being a new boyfriend that wasn't abusive yet. Sidney and Billy seemed in love and Tatum was freshly dating Stu. Randy making you laugh or roll your eyes at him at the video store, chilling with Tatum and Sidney at their houses or yours. Watching movies with Stu and Billy who at the time seemed like normal guys that genuinely loved their girlfriends and were just good friends with you…

You glanced at the car's mirror. Your sad face staring back at you and suddenly reality was crashing into you that most of your memories of that group weren't as real as you wanted them to be as far as Billy and Stu were involved as well as what followed just a few short months later. From James, to the strain on your group's friendships, to the very obvious reason why the tension was happening being revealed at the party that night…Those moments of naive bliss you had prior you would never, ever get back.

Rebecca rambled while you were in your own world. "So anyways, I told him he's a complete tool. Because, come on. How can this not be a good sales pitch, am I right?...YN? Hellooo?" 

You jolted slightly as you realized she was directly talking to you and not herself. "Huh? Sorry, just…Getting lost in thought. I haven't been here in 15 years. I literally moved away not even 2 weeks after…Well…You know what happened." 

"Okay, speaking of which. I know your character in Stab was with them-" 

"Right." 

"And you were not, based on your court case I read about." 

"Yes." 

"Sooo…"

"Yes?" You asked with a raised brow.

"Okay, don't take this the wrong way but both of those guys were kind of hot for freaking seniors. I'm not a pedo or cradle robber, I'm just saying! I mean, if I had two guys that cute that were obsessed with me in high school? Murderers or not, I'd think about it…So, did you ever think they were attractive? Ever?" 

You felt the silence in the car. You wanted to be normal. To just admit that yes, they were attractive, their shitty personalities and selfish choices were what sucked but you were attracted to them. Who wasn't at the time? They were two of the most popular and arguably better looking guys in school that hung out with you. You got hateful looks your way just as much as Sidney and Tatum did. It's why the rumors about you were so easily spread. One day when you were talking to Stu in the hallway, him leaning over you with his arm on the locker as you tried to move away from him flirting because he was just recently dating Tatum but you know Casey saw it. Her locker was just down the hall. You were sure even if she broke up with him; seeing him so hyper fixated on you instead of still being hung up on her bruised her ego enough to spread the nasty rumors about you. James was threatened by them as well for the same reason…They were sought after in Woodsboro. So finding out they both were secretly in love with you had you so shocked it ALMOST rivaled the shock of them being the Woodsboro killers…Almost. You wanted so badly to just admit it and have girl talk you didn't get with anyone else.…But considering your trial in the past and the people online trying to dig up your case again; you trusted no one with that info. Especially a fame mongerer like Rebecca. 

"They were alright looking, I guess. " You lied with a nonchalant shrug and redirected it. "Nothing to excuse them from being monsters." 

Rebecca scoffed. "Well duh, they were! Please, they may have not been the nicest but that Billy looked like Johnny Depp and the other guy-" 

"Stu." You knew he'd just about shove Rebecca out of the moving car if he was here.

"- He wasn't bad looking either, I guess. Not my type but apparently he dated some of the most popular girls of Woodsboro High so he had something going for him." 

"Yeah, he was charming and popular and used it to manipulate people." 

"But you seriously didn't want them at all before the murders?  You had to have at least looked or thought about it. I mean, these two guys were obsessed-" 

"With getting their way no matter what." You interrupted her. "Besides, they were dating my best friends and I had a boyfriend at the time. I had no interest in them.

She gave you a once over from her seat. Looking like she wanted to say something before her mouth dropped. She pulled up to the bookstore and your heart sank.

 "Oh crap." Rebecca grumbled. Pulling in as you froze in your seat 

A handful of people with signs screaming at you with signs. Your picture is marked out on a few or 'guilty' written in bold red letters designed to look like blood. You even saw a few of Tatum, Sidney, Casey or Steven with their names and the word 'justice' written on them.

"Okay, just hold your head high and ignore them…You'd think the least they could do is have police here. What else do these small town feds have to do but shovel donuts in their mouths and bust some crack heads here and there?" She grumbled while undoing her belt.

You swallowed, slightly taken aback yourself that Dewey wouldn't be here to rally them away. Looking up to see rows and rows of Ghostfaces on the pole lights near the store. "I'd say damn kids with that-" You pointed, letting your finger fall as you gave a wary look to the small angry crowd. "But…The adults are acting kind of ridiculous too…Isn't this welcoming." You sarcastically mumbled, feeling your anxiety creeping in.

Rebecca shoved her door open. "Screw this, I am NOT having these frigging freeloaders hogging the media attention I-…We worked for!" She slammed her door shut as you gave a shaky sigh. 

Rebecca made a wide gesture to the angry crowd trying to boycott your book and you. Still convinced in the conspiracy theory that you actively helped Billy and Stu and you just got away with murder and were now profiting off of it. 

You were scared of crowds like this just as much as Ghostface. Especially after you almost died from a crazed conspiracy nut seeking 'justice' more than a decade ago. Despite that, you sucked in a breath and got out of the car.

Rebecca grabbed you and led you by the shoulder as you just prayed no one had a gun. 

You heard "Murderer", "We don't want you here", "Leave Woodsboro" as you walked by the 8 to 10 people protesting. Rebecca said a nasty remark back as you said nothing. Numb to it at this point as your assistant slammed the door shut.

"I'm gonna rip the owner a new ass for not handling that. Wasn't me threatening his cat over your set up not enough?!" She marched away as you saw the people still holding up signs, chanting at your picture on the store window. Rebecca slammed a door to a backroom looking for the owner.

You ran a hand over your face, already eager to get the hell out of this town. It wasn't like you didn't have naysayers in other towns but this one felt different…It felt worse.

 An orange cat eyed you curiously from the desk across the room. Leisurely lounging and looking rather plump and content with itself but watching your every move. You walked over to pet it but it jumped off the desk and ran behind a bookshelf.

'You too, huh?' You thought before you went over and sank into a seat at the table you'd have your books signed at.  Staring down at yourself on the cover. You wanted to go home already. YOUR home. Away from people and bullshit like this. Be with your very small inner circle, your aging dog, your small comforts. Anything but this.

Your thoughts were interrupted as a man cleared his throat and you flinched in response. Fearful a protestor got in and could be holding a gun to your head for all you know.

"YN, I'm such a big fan...So hey, can I get some special friends discount or something? By that, I mean, free?" 

You faltered, slowly looking up to see a man's belt and white button down shirt…Your eyes roamed higher to see a green sweater over top of it near your white table in front of you. Your eyes traveled more as a relieved smile slowly stretched over your face. 

"Ray." 

He grinned down at you. A light stubble on his filled out face. A few pounds gained since you were in your early 20's but still some muscle there too. You were sure he still worked out even after physical therapy just not as much with his busy schedule. His hair was in the same volumized, fluffy swept back style he had in Hollywood, just shorter or thinner with age.

He grinned as you stood up. Not having seen him face to face for almost a year as awful as it sounded. 

Randy remarked. "I never thought I'd see you back in this shithole. I mean, you're star status now." 

You gave a chuckle and walked over to hug him. He hugged you back, holding onto you for a few moments before you gently pulled away a bit. "Yeah, whether I like it or not." You replied unable to help looking at the crowd and he put a hand on your shoulder to look back at him instead.

"Hey, screw them. You've came a long way and they don't know what the fuck their even yelling about…" His eyes trailed down with raised brows as he fully pulled away. "And then there's…You." He huffed with a bemused smirk.  "Wow, you in heels is an eerie sight from your usual woman of the woods get up." 

"Oh, shut up." 

"No, seriously. Did you raid Gale Weathers closet?" 

"Ugh, do not compare me to Gale. " You grumbled with a huff.

"Or what? You can't give me pain anymore, Mistress. My wife will have a say in that." He showed his wedding band for emphasis.

You rolled your eyes playfully. "I think if you annoy her as much as you annoyed me in the past; she'll make the exception."

"Not if you're dressed like your going to Fashion Week, she won't. She wouldn't even recognize you if she walked by the window." 

You shoved away from him lightly. "Oh God, stop. Seriously, it's just heels…Your just mad it makes me taller-" 

You went to measure your height with a devious grin, doing the same thing you did at college before that party until he smacked your hand away with a small puff of air escaping past his lips.

He took you in again, his smile fading before shaking his head slightly with a smile. "Seriously though, you look good! Really! It's just so…So-" 

"Different?" You asked with a raise of your brow before your face fell ever so slightly. "Yeah. It's not exactly what I wear on the regular…But…I'm a product and the packaging is what sells. " You gave with a bitter smirk.

His mouth parted as he stared at you. The teasing gone from his face as looked at you. "...Is…Is everything okay? Are you happy with all of this?" He gestured to the table with all the copies of your books. 

You almost told him the truth but quickly forced a smile and shook your head. "No, I'm okay. I'm just…I'm grateful. I mean, I'm privileged with the opportunities given to me from very less than ideal circumstances. I guess…Just wish I could wear a comfortable dress boot with the leaves turning soon." You lost your smile to ask him the same question. "And you? Are you happy with everything?...It's been awhile since we talked. Like, really 'talked' talked face to face." 

He faltered as well before giving a 'pssh' noise between his lips and an outrageous smile. "Of course! I have a beautiful wife that is way out of my league but still stuck it out with me. Two wonderful kids that are everything to me. A house right here in my hometown, I can walk and move like I was never in a coma from being stabbed over a dozen times, I'm freaking alive for god sakes!…No…Life threatening Incidents in a decade. Life is good!" 

You didn't believe that as he folded his arms and closed himself off as he spoke to you. Your brows rose slightly as you softly asked. "Well…And the video store? Everything okay?"

"Yeah! Y-Yeah so great that I now have two businesses in town." 

"Really? Which one?" 

He gave a big gesture to the bookstore with a tight smile.

You gawked at him.  "...This? YOU'RE the bookstore owner Rebecca talked to earlier?!" 

"Yep. She is a very unpleasant woman, by the way." 

Your face scrunched as it dawned on you. "Wait, why didn't you tell me you owned the store I was scheduled at? Why didn't you tell me about the bookstore in general??" 

He sighed heavily. "I was going to but I've been so busy lately. Seriously, I hope my kids remember I'm their Dad at this point." He faltered before his shoulders sagged. "And…I guess I just didn't exactly want to brag I own not one but TWO pieces of shit businesses now. Thank God for Karla's job at the bank." 

"What? Ray, is everything okay financially? Are you and Karla okay?...I know life got away from us but you know you can still tell me anything…Right?" 

Randy stared with a harsh swallow and frown. A protester got extra loud outside enough to break the silence as Randy rolled his eyes, walked to the store's window, and  jerked down a curtain to hide you both from view. He continued as he walked back towards you, arms falling at his sides. "We're okay but it's not…What I want for my family…I know you called and I missed it and I apologize for that. I almost called you back but I just decided I wanted to surprise you instead. I mean, you certainly surprised me with your Assistant putting your face on my store window!…Those assholes out there were not a part of the surprise, obviously. They just arrived 10 minutes ago... I'm sorry, I tried to threaten them with the police but they're not leaving until police arrive and APPARENTLY Woodsboro's finest have more important matters to attend to because dispatch will send an officer when they're 'available'." He rolled his eyes. "Thank fucking god no ones dying her or anything." 

You sighed. "I'm sure Dewey has a good reason for the lack of officers available. He's worried about my safety too." 

Randy nodded. "Yeah, I know…It's just we barely talk as is and then your welcome wagon is that? He couldn't have made sure to be here or send a deputy no matter what?" 

 "Don't worry about it. I've had worse…But back to you. If you're struggling then why do you own this too? What about the video store?" 

"It's…Tanking." He sighed out with a frown as he looked to the ground in shame. "I just came to look over this place instead of my employee Jenny because you were in town…AND she didn't show up to work today or call in. It's weird for her though; she's usually a pretty good employee…. But trust me, any other time, I'd love to be surrounded by films…People just don't rent movies anymore; not like they used to. When I bought the store from my older than dirt boss years back it was like a dream come true. 'Yes! I have something to rely on instead of some pencil pusher job for a boss somewhere!'." He mimicked excitement before dropping the act and slumping his posture. "… But I'm starting to think being my own boss isn't worth the hassle." 

"Was it really doing that bad?" You asked with a grimace. You looked around and saw Rebecca outside through a back window, stalking the yard. Still looking for Randy. Having gone out a back door, apparently.

Randy continued with a frown. "Yeah. The video store really did feel like something and…It's just fading to nothing. I mean, even Blockbusters are shutting down so how does the little man stand a chance? People are relying on that Netflix thing more and more every year. And this place feels like I invested in a steaming pile of crap too. I'm only supplying mostly romances to middle aged suburban housewives wanting to spice up their marriage. Seriously, none of these kids pick up Stephan King anymore. It's fucking sad." 

"Be honest. Did you read when you were a teen?" 

"ACTUALLY, I did." He gave with his arms folded and a smug look.

"Oh yeah? Comics don't count." 

"I'm telling you, I read! I was wise beyond my years." 

You released a huff of laughter at that. "AND reading for school projects doesn't count…Or Stephen King and Clive Barker's 3 books circulating in the library." 

He opened his mouth then closed it. "Ookkay, maybe I wasn't the biggest bookworm compared to my love for cinema but I did read. These kids today don't read books at all! I swear to god, if it's not on their phones or tablet; they don't look at it." 

You shrugged. "I think they read blogs and …Fanfiction online?" You drew out. Unsure if that was even the right term.  

Randy raised a brow  "What the hell is that?" 

You gave an exaggerated shrug.  "I don't know, I just know it wasn't popular when I was their age. I heard Rebecca talking about it with a friend. Something about someone made an erotic fanfiction of Twilight and Rebecca was trying to get a hold of the writer to get her to make a bdsm book about it next year?? I have no idea what the two have in common but I kind of want to look it up later out of morbid curiosity." 

"Weird. What? Is Bella gonna finally punish Edward for being a stalker? Or is a threesome finally gonna happen-" 

You cut him off, silently kicking yourself for bringing it up. "Randy, please. No Twilight rants. I KNOW you hate it." 

"It SUCKS, Yn. It's just some Mormon women's secret wet dream disguised as her inserting herself as Bella, I mean, what the fuck does a 100 something year old man want to do with a teenager anyways? What the hell could he have in common with a kid that doesn't even know what Zima is? And why is he so emotionally constipated with the personality of a rock? Isn't he trying to blend in with his alabaster marble like skin and bright fucking golden eyes? Furthermore, why is he at highschool? People graduate early, who the ever loving hell wants to be in high school forever? Worst years of my life aside from Middle school. And don't even get me started on the fucking sparkles and no drinking human blood!" He ranted a mile a minute.

You groaned softly to yourself and hung your head. "Oh god..." 

"Salem's Lot was a classic, Fright Night a masterpiece of 80s vampirism, The Lost Boys is still enjoyable to this day, John Carpenter's Vampires was kick ass, Near Dark which no one mentions despite it being one of the first western vampire films and having 3 great actors from Aliens! Alien was tremendously better, sequels suck, but that's besides the point!…And most of all, Dracula.. Don't even have to elaborate on that one. Okay, they were all vampire movies. Cold, undead, fanged up assholes that loved being a vampire. They LOVED drinking blood! What the fuck is the point-" 

"RANDY." You snapped before giving him a look. "I know, okay, I know!…Besides, why do you know so much about it if you hate it?" 

He wore a scowl on his face and looked away. "Because Karla's made me take her to see all 3 movies so far and guess what we're seeing this November?" 

You raised your brows with an amused smirk. "...Twilight Breaking Dawn?-" 

"Fucking Twilight Breaking Dawn" He answered before you could even get it out. 

You rolled your eyes playfully. "After all the cheap horror movies you probably have had her watch; it's the least you could do." 

"Yeah, yeah." He sighed out.

"THERE YOU ARE!" You both flinched at Rebecca's voice. "What half brained, idotic, little man are you that you can't do one simple thing; KEEP. THE POSITIVE SHINE. ON. YN. Do I gotta skin that cat or what?-" 

Randy held up his hands. "It's not even my cat, Lady! He just waltzed in one day and never left." 

You raised a brow. "So it IS your cat then?" 

Rebecca went to yell again and you held up a hand. "Rebecca! This is Randy!...Randy Meeks. The other Woodsboro survivor and my friend! Turns out, he's the owner." 

Randy gave her a sarcastic smile and wave as she faltered.

"...Oh." She straightened herself up. "Well then, you can still do something about that outside. Where are the cops?" She pointed to the protesters.

"I already called the cops and they're busy. What more do you want?" 

"BUSY?" She snapped before adjusting herself with a glare while marching out. "Want something done right…" She slammed the door as you both grimaced. 

Randy gave you a sideways glance. "I'd lecture her for slamming my door but I'm kind of afraid to." He looked at you. "Uh…Should we go help her? I mean, I'm the man here and she's just a tiny thing-" 

You chuckled sarcastically as he gave an offended look your way. "What? Okay, What YN?" 

"Sorry but you don't know Rebecca. She's like a fake splenda version of Gale; she'll be fine." You gestured to the door. "But I mean, go out there if you want. Since you're the man here and all."

He looked out the door of his shop and grimaced slightly. "Uhh…Nah. No, you need someone to protect you here more than Gale Jr. out there." 

You tilted your head with a smirk. "Oh, that's good. I feel so much safer with someone to protect me. My hand that was stabbed from fighting a man twice your size gives me trouble making a proper fist. And I get dizzy sometimes after another man punched me in the mouth and smashed my head into a bar. So, I'm so glad THE MAN is here to save me." 

Randy gave you a deadpan expression. "Bitch please, I was stabbed 14 times."

"And yet…What's your kill count? And who saved your ass multiple times? And remind me how many times you were the main target?" 

He rolled his eyes with a sigh. "I fucking held my own, smartass." 

" I know, just screwing with you for old time sake. Don't be mad, I know if a protester came in you'd be the first one to hit them." You chuckled and shook your head as you saw a bin of books on a nearby table. You picked one up and showed him. "We got at least 20 minutes till the book signing…What are these?" 

He huffed with folded arms but walked over to join you. "Those? Oh, books that aren't doing so hot. There from some lesser known authors that apparently aren't exactly best sellers." 

"Yet. It just takes one." You gave and Randy nodded. You picked a few. "Juliette Morris…J.R. Whitney…Summer Raine. Never heard of them." You picked one up and eyed the dark cover. "Robert Gray." You mumbled.

Randy gently took it from you to examine it. "Yeah, I was eyeing that one. Seems like a psychological thriller. Not my type of horror." 

You rolled your eyes. "I know, no blood or boobs, huh?" 

He put the book down. "I take offense to that. I'll have you know, I enjoy plot." 

"Uh huh. The plot of a big set of lungs running from some guy in a mask?" 

"Uh those are Classics; show some respect! "

"I don't have to respect shit when I lived through it." 

"Fair enough. But besides that, you know I actually do like plot to my movies. I'm not Stu-" He faltered. Both of you paused as he said it. You turned around and he shook his head with a bewildered expression. "Jesus, where'd that come from?" 

You stared a moment too, a bit of fear ran through you at the Randy even saying his name before you sighed with a shrug and a tight smile. "Well um…Bound to happen eventually, I guess. Me being back here, talking about horror movies with you like we were in high school again…It feels like we're at the video store and Stu's gonna come by any minute knocking over the vhs tapes just to irritate you while sticking his tongue out at me." 

He gave a look of disgust, a bit of uneasiness in his expression. "Can we please not talk about that reject? Slip of the tongue and it won't happen again." 

You parted your lips to say something but it died in your throat as you curtly nodded in response, looking back down at the book bin before he took it for you. 

"Anyways, I better let you get set up. People should start pouring in within the next 20 minutes. Let me just put these in the horror section. Yell if you need me." He gave a quick smile to you before walking away. 

You sighed and nodded to yourself. "Can do." 

—————————————————

The protestors died out. Well, some stayed but a few left after Gale saw some woman threaten to release personal info after she found out one's identity through a private facebook account that still had their pfp as their face and full name. Then, she threatened to post  them on twitter. A few promptly left but just as many stayed. Holding up the signs that Gale stared at; trying to chant over what you had to say.

Gale eased back from the small crowd gathered inside; eyeing you talking to everyone. A protester tried going in with a sign but she stopped him. "Lloyd, don't you have anything better to do? What would your kids think?" 

He glared at Gale, sign still raised with your picture marked out in red. "They'd be proud knowing I'm defending their cousin Steve's death from the likes of her." He pointed, raising his voice as you kept talking and tried to ignore it.

"Stu and Billy did that and you know it. She was proven innocent." Gale mumbled. "I have the lawsuit and half a million dollars lose to prove it." She mumbled the last part.

"And you proved yourself a coward too. Judge could have been paid off for all we know. You started this, you brought it to everyone's attention, you showed the facts… Just to be a quitter. Out of my way-" 

Gale jutted a hand out as he went to march past her. "I wouldn't do that, Lloyd. This is private property owned by my dear friend Mr. Meeks. You step one more inch of your fat foot in here and my husband the goddamn Sheriff will charge you. You want to yell out there like an idiot that's your American right but don't bring it in here." Gale hissed out. "Now get your fat drunken ass out of here or maybe that lawn that was wrecked coincidently after that bar fight you had with the homeowner will be coincidently reopened?…Everyone has cameras now. I'm sure if I used my old reporting skills; I could find out just who did that…Got it?" 

The man huffed, looking at her in disgust. "One day, your mouth is going to get you in trouble." He pointed at her in a warning as he walked backwards.

"It already has." She muttered back. Focusing back on you as you seemed to handle the protestors with more restraint than she ever gave you credit for. Unbeknownst to you that she was even here let alone defending you from people like Lloyd.

She just…Stared a moment. Taking you in. It was crazy to her. 

 'How did you go from a kid that was shaking over your own shadow to a professional woman selling these schmucks books like they were lined with Jesus's freaking toilet paper?' She thought.

She huffed softly at the thought, tilting her head to watch you. She swallowed as she saw you engaging with everyone in the middle of Randy's newfound shop she knew wouldn't make it, but then again, she didn't think you would either.

She couldn't help feeling…Cast out. A frown on her face. Once youthful skin now bore thin lines near her mouth and eyes. Seeing you up there in your prime, a professional dress and high heels on that looked like something she might have worn, a crowd eager to hear from you and your book…Meanwhile, she couldn't seem to even write her own. No one stopped her on the street anymore, no autographs or photo ops…She closed her eyes a second as she listened to you…You were all grown up now…She was aging too. A part of her could easily see a younger version of herself in you as you gave your speech…She hated it.

She still had her doubts about Tim and James not being Billy and Stu but after a decade of peace; she'd be an obsessed fool to harp on it now. Dewey was Sheriff of Woodsboro like he always wanted, Randy had a happy family and owned a few businesses in town, you were a national treasure…It seemed like everyone was doing something but her. She was so lonely she even was looking forward to coffee with you; coming clear down here just to see you. That's just how pathetic it felt that she was having coffee with the girl that technically ruined her career and yet she had no one else…

You finished talking, Rebecca talking for you to have people buy book copies of the New York Times Best Seller while they lasted.

You walked away before your smile fell, eyes landing on Gale. Gale stepped away from the entrance and gave a curt smile as you forced one on yourself. 

"Gale…I'm glad you came." You said. Not very warm but not outright hateful either. Both of you hadn't seen each other in a long while. You never were very close…A punch in the face at Windsor followed by a lawsuit that made headlines didn't exactly scream 'besties'.

Gale slinked over, taking her time to take you in before forcing out. "Congratulations, YN." Her cool eyes gazed at the table. "I haven't had a chance to read it yet but…" She trailed off. It was a lie. She had read it but something in her didn't want to admit it.

"Oh, well, you can have a copy or I can send you one if we sell out." You replied as Gale gave you a humorless smile at the comment. So similar to what she had told Sidney Prescott 15 years ago outside the police station. 

You gave an awkward shuffle, raising your arms then lowering and raising before stepping forward. Gale was never one for hugs and she knew you didn't exactly want to hug her either. It was all a big, curt, polite show in Gale's eyes that she played along with. For Dewey, for Randy…Even for you. She wanted to hate you but you made it hard proving her wrong over and over. She surmised eating crow over and over makes you more…Tolerant of the person feeding it to you.

You both pulled away with forced smiles as quickly as you hugged. Gale saw Randy standing in the background watching. Observing your exchange as Gale forced a smile his way over your shoulder. He gave a nod with a small polite smile as well.

You completely stepped away with a genuine happy expression as you exclaimed. "Dewey!" You quickly rushed over to hug him tightly. Dewey pulled away sooner than he normally would. Gale frowned at her husband. After all, he hadn't seen you in so long so why not savor the moment? 

"Hey YN. Gale you made it. Good." He breathlessly gave. 

He seemed frazzled as Gale eyed her husband.

You spoke up. "Dewey, I tried to call you." 

"And I tried to call too, SHERIFF!" Randy chimed in, standing next to you. "Those protestors are probably running for the hills now with your cop car about..." He checked his watch. "...45 minutes later." 

Dewey gave a remorseful grimace. "Oh, God. Are you okay?" You nodded before he continued. "Do you recognize any of them?" 

Randy and Gale exchanged glances as Randy nodded and Gale replied. "Yeah, a few. Lloyd Oarth was one of them." 

"Good, good...I'm sorry. Something really important came up…I gotta do something here." He took off his hat and anxiously ran a hand over his hair.

Gale raised a brow. "Dewey, what's wrong?" 

"Just- YN, I need to do this here…I am really sorry." He moved you out of the way and addressed the room right as Judy came barreling in. Police cars speeding down the block to get to the bookstore. A few protestors on the sidewalk scattered but police instantly got out of their cars and forced them to stay. Gale could hear that much and see it from the window.

Meanwhile, Dewey addressed the room. "Excuse me. This will only take a minute! I need you all to stay where you are and remain silent." 

A woman went to leave and Judy pushed her back inside. "Nobody leaves. You heard the Sheriff. Thank you." Even her voice had Gale side eyeing her.

Gale watched some mouthy woman with brown hair and a blue shirt tell her husband. "Can't this wait, Barney Fife? I'm running an event here!" She guessed the event runner was your assistant.

Gale felt a tinge of guilt having said the same thing about him in her book years and years ago. It was pushed aside as she listened to Dewey and more cops came in. Randy put a hand on you as he pulled you towards him. 

"Ma'am, this is a police event now." Dewey replied back.

Gale came to Dewey, blinking repeatedly and whispering to him. "WHAT is going on??" 

All before Judy stepped in between them to tell Gale. "Gale, this is police business. If you could just let us handle it." 

Gale instantly felt that familiar rage filling her at this woman having the audacity to use her little badge as leverage to disrespect her in front of her husband. 

Gale's eyes zeroed in on Judy. "I am talking to my husband, Deputy Judy." Gale used deputy like an insult as you watched.

———————————————————

You felt Randy pull you closer and out of the way of police rushing into the building as you watched Gale getting heated with some blonde deputy near Dewey. You weren't positive but you were pretty sure this was the infamous Judy she talked so fondly about.

Your eyes scanned the area, glancing at Randy as he wore a nervous expression. You were sure you had the same look on your face.

Gale spat at the deputy overstepping. "I am talking to my husband, Deputy Judy." 

Dewey turned to Gale, you and Randy. "Listen. There's a phone we believe may have been taken from the scene of a crime. Deputy Hicks has traced its coordinates back to this location." He hissed out low to not alert anyone but your group.

Randy blinked at Dewey, eyebrows scrunching. "W-What crime?..." Dewey didn't answer and Randy asked again more forcefully this time. "What type of crime, Dewey?" 

Dewey shook his head and walked a few paces. "It's…Need to know for now." 

Gale shoved her hands out in outrage. "And I'm not need to know?!" 

"SHH!" Judy ordered with a finger to her lips and you thought Gale looked ready to smack her right then and there. You watched on with Randy as Dewey held up a cellphone…All before a ringing sounded out.

Everyone in the room looked around before an officer outside shouted for Sheriff Dewey. Dewey and Judy ran out followed by Gale. You and Randy followed close behind with a small crowd behind you out on the street. A few protesters were held up by officers as well. 

You looked confused as the officers circled your rental car. Judy got out her gun and pointed to the trunk as Dewey came towards it.

You stared with wide eyes as you came forward to get their attention.

Dewey held up a hand. "Not now, YN." 

You gave him a dumbfounded look. "Dewey, it's my rental car." You felt eyes on you as you said that. Rebecca gave Dewey a sassy look before tossing the keys to him to open the trunk up.

He did just that, forcing it open as a collection of gasps escaped everyone. Rebecca stared with her mouth parted, Randy's jaw clenched as he held a tighter grip onto your shoulder, Gale gasped and stood closer to you as well, gripping onto your other shoulder…And you…You just stared with wide eyes as a bloody mess was revealed. Posters of your face littered the trunk of the car drenched in blood smears over your image. A knife, gloves and the ringing phone lay on top. Staring back at you in a taunting manner.

Dewey quickly recovered, almost angered at what he found. "Damn it! This is an official crime scene now. Let's lock it down." 

You stood near the trunk staring in absolute shock as someone pushed you away and you just allowed it. Spacing out as your heartbeat was thumping in your ears and your stomach sank. 

You numbly stared at Dewey and asked. "...Tell me this is a prank, Dewey." 

Dewey rolled his lips, looking remorseful before shaking his head and walking closer. "I'm afraid not, YN." He shook his head and placed an arm on your shoulder to lead you. "Come on." As he led you to a police car. 

Gale stayed back and so did Randy as Rebecca got on the phone and called someone. You looked back at Randy one last time before stepping into the cop car. He had a worried expression with a tight frown. Not even looking at you; only the evidence in the trunk…You had to wonder…Whoever did this; how did they unlock it without the keys?…Who's blood was that?

You saw the protestors that stayed behind glare at you in the police car. That trunk makes you look like what they always thought; a killer.

#finally 😫😪 #scream #stu macher #billy loomis #my writing #scream fanfiction #yn fanfic #she her yn #my stories #fanfic #scream 4 #fours a franchise #polyghostface

[faintingheroine]

Of Heroes and Heroines

“Mr. Heathcliff has just honoured me with a call. About seven days ago he sent me a brace of grouse—the last of the season. Scoundrel! He is not altogether guiltless in this illness of mine; and that I had a great mind to tell him. But, alas! how could I offend a man who was charitable enough to sit at my bedside a good hour, and talk on some other subject than pills and draughts, blisters and leeches? This is quite an easy interval. I am too weak to read; yet I feel as if I could enjoy something interesting. Why not have up Mrs. Dean to finish her tale? I can recollect its chief incidents, as far as she had gone. Yes: I remember her hero had run off, and never been heard of for three years; and the heroine was married. I’ll ring: she’ll be delighted to find me capable of talking cheerfully.”

(Chapter 10, Wuthering Heights)

This passage is one of my favorites in Wuthering Heights. I love how Mr. Lockwood can have just had Heathcliff as a caller, a mundane personage in his daily life, and then immediately switch to thinking about him as a storybook character: “Her hero had run off”.

I love the words “hero” and “heroine” when they are used in the sense of “main character”.

Of course in this passage the use of “hero” and “heroine” denotes the ever-present sense that most stories have to have a young attractive Male Lead and a young attractive Female Lead and a love story between them. In the case of Wuthering Heights this is mostly true, but it doesn’t have to be true for every story.

And here we come to my username “faintingheroine”. As you can guess, I picked this username chiefly for Nihal. Fainting is a very important aspect of her character, it brings about the climax of Aşk-ı Memnu, but it also is treated as a medical condition in the book which I like - Halit Ziya picked this traditional trait for a female character but wanted to rationalize/pathologize it. I find it a clever subversion.

But the more important part of my username is the “heroine” part. I picked it in defiance of the common popular reading of Aşk-ı Memnu that reads it as a love story between the heroine Bihter and the hero Behlül. I declare, no, Nihal is a heroine of the book, if not the heroine.

My Twitter username is the Turkish translation of “faintingheroine” “Bayılan Esas Kız”. “Esas Kız” means “the main girl” and it is the way Turkish people sometimes call the Female Lead in a movie who is involved in a love story opposite a Leading Man. So it is even funnier to call Nihal that instead of “heroine”. Nihal might be a heroine but calling her “Esas Kız” is obviously wrong and therefore funny.

I checked the best Turkish translation of Wuthering Heights: The word “heroine” in this passage was just translated as “kız”, “the girl”, possibly an echo of the term “esas kız”. “Hero” was translated as “hikayenin başkişisi”, “the main character of the story”. In English, Lockwood’s comment does not necessarily prioritize Heathcliff or Catherine more in the story, one is the “hero”, the other is the “heroine”. But in the Turkish translation, Heathcliff becomes the “main character” to Catherine’s “girl”. In the Turkish translation Lockwood clearly regards Heathcliff as the protagonist of the tale and Catherine as his love interest whereas in the English original such a distinction is not made.

Right now I am reading Atonement and its main character Briony’s reception also suffers from her not being a part of “the central love story”, as this Anon very nicely informed me of. So I find it ironic that what Briony writes is mostly composed of love stories of heroes and heroines:

Anyway, I love stories that acknowledge the art of storytelling in them. It doesn’t even have to be metafiction, Wuthering Heights is not metafiction, but we still have a character calling it a “tale”, and Heathcliff and Catherine “hero” and “heroine”. Even in Aşk-ı Memnu we have Mademoiselle de Courton thinking that Bihter and Nihal’s antagonism will end as a comedy for one and as a tragedy for the other. So even traditional novels can do that and I love it every time.

#of heroes and heroines #faintingheroine #wuthering heights #aşk ı memnu #aşk-ı memnu #nihal #atonement #mr. lockwood #heathcliff #catherine earnshaw #uğultulu tepeler #translation #comedy/tragedy

[13eyond13]

Hello, new Death Note fan here. First, thanks so much for this blog of yours. Because it came out 10+ years ago, I'm afraid will hard to find any active DN acc until I came to your blog. I understand more about Death Note's characters and story thanks to you...💐

I just start DN anime and manga last year (I know it's so late), because many people said in reviews that DN is not that good and mostly overrated. After finishing it, I think, how wrong that opinion was....

Do you mind if I ask some questions :

- Is Beyond Birthday became like that because of A's suicide?

- I read somewhere that Death Note (especially L and Light's relationship) is subtext mlm like Hannibal NBC & Merlin BBC, do you agree?

- One of my friend is DN fan since 2008, and every time she watched (more than 100x) L's death, she still cried. And coping it with read L/Light fics, are you like that too?

- "L and Light are both ace and aromantic", do you agree?

- Until the end, does L figure out it was Light = Kira the whole time?

- If Mello and Near work together from the start, can Light got captured more early?

- If Light were female, do you think L/Light ship will be more common?

- Until now, have you found any couple (canon or non canon) from any media (books, tv series, movies, anime/manga, etc) that the dynamics remind you of L/Light?

- "If Ryuk were an ikemen, than Light/Ryuk ship will be more popular than Light/L", do you agree?

- Do you prefer L as top or bottom or switch with Light? Why?

- In what moments that you start ship Light with L?

Sorry for my long ask (got too excited) feel free to answer whichever you want to. Thanks @13eyond13 ....

Hi! Aw, thanks for the kind words, and I'm so glad my blog is still helping new fans out that way somehow! 😊

Let me try to quickly answer your questions here (sorry if the answers aren't very in-depth, I don't have a computer with me currently and I'm just replying to you with my phone)

- Did Beyond Birthday become like that because of A's suicide?

This is not something that is commented on directly in the novel, so it's up to fan interpretation and headcanons for that! There is only one sentence about A, and we actually don't even know if A and B knew each other or interacted with each other in any way:

Personally I DO think it's fun to imagine it's part of B's past that he and A did know each other and that it did affect him somehow, but I'm not sure if his character was actually written with that notion in mind.

- I read somewhere that Death Note (especially L and Light's relationship) is subtext mlm like Hannibal NBC & Merlin BBC, do you agree?

I think you can definitely easily read homoerotic subtext into their relationship, but I also believe most of it was not really intentionally put there by the manga creators Ohba and Obata. I think SOMETIMES there were deliberate suggestive jokes and whatnot in the manga that indicated there was some level of awareness that things between them could be seen as suggestive – like when Matsuda is questioning them only sharing their cell phone numbers with each other, and when Misa questions L's orientation whenever he handcuffs himself to Light. That doesn't mean that reading them or their relationship in a shippy way isn't valid or legitimate or interesting to do! Just that I dont think it was written with the writer knowingly going into things like "ohoho time to slyly queerbait the audience!" or something. I think Hannibal's creators were extremely deliberate with everything homoerotic that goes on between Will and Hannibal for example, but I think it happened a bit more unintentionally in Death Note originally.

- One of my friend is DN fan since 2008, and every time she watched (more than 100x)  L's death, she still cried. And coping it with read L/Light fics, are you like that too?

Haha oh wow 100x! I'm not like that personally because I had L's death spoiled for me by a comment I saw on the very first episode of the anime, so I knew it was coming! I was still really upset about it of course, he IS my fave. But actually Light's death in the anime gets a stronger emotional reaction from me than L's. I think I only ever cried during Death Note at that part where Light is thinking about his younger innocent self while he's wounded and running away, something about it gets me every time... And yes, I definitely wanted to read a lot of fics to resolve all my messy feelings about the two of them afterwards!

- "L and Light are both ace and aromantic", do you agree?

I can see why people might see them that way, though it's not my personal headcanon for them! It's one of those things people can decide for themselves rather than something I think there is an objectively "correct" answer about, really.

- Until the end, does L figure out it was Light  = Kira the whole time?

I'm not 100% sure if I'm understanding your question correctly. But I think L is always something like "PRETTY DARN SURE" Light is Kira, though he also knows he needs to have the concrete proof to back that certainty of his up. He DOES know it without a doubt once he actually has his heart attack and sees the look on Light's face in the manga, though! He thinks something like "I knew it! I wasn't wrong..." before his eyes close. Which in some way is maybe a small comfort, to know that he was able to solve this ultimate mystery for himself and know he was definitely correct about it before he died.

- If Mello and Near had worked together from the start, could Light have been captured more early?

A very good question! I unfortunately feel a bit too rusty on my successor arc plot stuff to know how to answer this one well, but I do think that Near and Mello made a very effective team whenever they collaborated, for sure.

- If Light were female, do you think L/Light ship will be more common?

I don't know if it would be more COMMON necessarily, but perhaps it would just have a slightly different sort of fanbase and legacy as a ship? I think a lot of people kinda like, and have always liked, how gay it is though? and I don't know if that really hurt the ship's popularity so much as maybe increased it even. But I'm definitely not an expert on this stuff or anything, hahaha

- Until now, have you found any couple (canon or non canon) from any media (books, tv series, movies, anime/manga, etc) that the dynamics remind you of L/Light?

Not exactly like it, no! It's quite unique to me in many ways. MAYBE the closest thing I can think of right now is NBC Hannibal, simply because of the unresolved tension and morbid dark humour and constant innuendo and cop/criminal investigative sort of stuff going on between them? But I think canon Hannigram was darker in some ways than I find canon Lawlight to be, and the parallels aren't exact by any means...

- "If Ryuk were an ikemen, than Light/Ryuk ship will be more popular than Light/L", do you agree?

Hahaha, I feel like it would be more popular as a ship than it currently is, but I'm not sure it would eclipse Lawlight! I feel it's hard to beat the antagonistic chemistry L and Light have simply due to how their roles are set up in the story as the detective and the criminal and whatnot.

- Do you prefer L as top or bottom or switch with Light? Why?

I prefer it when they take turns in fics and don't stick rigidly to one thing or the other! I think maybe because it seems realistic to me that they'd want to experiment that way with each other, and also because I just find it more interesting to read smut if they're doing stuff in a variety of ways.

- In what moments that you start ship Light with L?

I think I basically immediately felt a strong tension and chemistry between them. But I was introduced to things via the anime, and the rain scene definitely seemed extremely shippy to me and like "there's no way they weren't into each other" hahah. I think the rain scene was the main reason I went looking for shippy content about them afterwards. But I find that the manga is actually shippier to me than the anime sometimes, even though that rain scene isn't in it. Maybe because to me it feels a bit more like they're mentally and emotionally on the same page about things more often in the manga, and both seem pretty aware of the sly mind games they're playing with each other the whole time. And Light stays very fixated on and oddly reverent towards L after his death in the manga as well, which ultimately remains probably the shippiest thing about them in canon to me...

#ask #anon #p

[chickenstrangers]

@waitmyturtles sent me a lovely ask that tumblr decided to eat right when I was working on a response. The ask was essentially:

We have been reminiscing a lot recently about He's Coming to Me as you have been making gifs for it. What are your top 3 shows, besides He's Coming to Me, that you feel nostalgia for at any given time, and why? What draws you to them? [apologies if I have misremembered anything]

Thank you for the question! It sent me into a bit of a philosophical debate over the nature of nostalgia and if I feel nostalgia for any of these dramas at all.

For me, nostalgia is very rooted in the sense that the past cannot be returned to, or cannot be returned to in the same way. Of course, every rewatch of a show is a different experience and changes your interpretation of and feelings towards the text. But I watched so many of these shows fairly recently, relatively, and most of them I didn't watch live. I feel nostalgia for shows I watched many many years ago, because I am a very different person than I was and my interpretations and taste has definitely changed. Even though I still love my favorite shows from 10 years ago, for instance, and have rewatched and still truly enjoyed them, it is a fundamentally different experience to when I watched them then, and I can never return to that time.

This could be interpreted also as which show I wish I could watch again for the first time, but I also have a hard time with that. For all of my favorite shows, I only started to truly, deeply love them on rewatch. So maybe I am nostalgic for my second watch of shows. Perhaps the only show I would say I'm nostalgic for the first time I watched is Eternal Yesterday, because I do think watching it will be very different the next time because the experience of suspecting but not knowing with certainty what the ending would be was a very important aspect of how I watched and interpreted it, and it put me so viscerally in Mitsuru's experience of denial and anticipatory grief.

Then, of course, there are shows for which the watching experience itself has shifted, for me most notably GMMTV shows moving to Viki. Despite My School President being in my top 3 favorite shows, the change of medium has perhaps dissuaded me from rewatching so far. And once Bad Buddy moves, the fan lore which is often so tied to episodes and specifically parts of episodes will be lost to some extent. I am fascinated generally in how the medium of the text changes the interpretation and experience (see for example the original serialization of Dracula, then most commonly read as single book, and now re-serialized with Dracula Daily).

People talk a lot in tags about missing shows or characters, and I appreciate the sentiment, but again is not something I fully feel myself. I don't miss Moonlight Chicken, or Jim and Wen, because I think about the show all the time, it lives in my heart. I also know that I can rewatch the show at any time and they will be there, the same as they were before. Fandom tends to move very quickly these days, which is understandable with the amount of shows there are, but sometimes I feel I haven't gotten the memo that I am also supposed to move on. I love seeing people in my old fandom returning to or discovering a decades old show and sharing their love for it, making content for it still. Perhaps that is why I most enjoy making gifs and writing meta for "older" shows like Moonlight Chicken, Bad Buddy, Kieta Hatsukoi, or He's Coming to Me.

TLDR; to answer your question, after way too long a ramble, perhaps Bad Buddy (also spurred on by your and @ranchthoughts' rewatches that are making me itch to rewatch), My School President, and Eternal Yesterday?

#also i am mad that tumblr deleted the ask because you called me chickenfriend and that wordplay tickled me #asked and answered #waitmyturtles #rambling rambles

[chaos-monkeyy]

20 Questions for fanfic writers

Tagged by @trainofcommand and @cordeliaperry , thank you 😁

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

351

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

969,232 !

(I had a soft goal of trying to break a million this year, but I probably won't quite make it. Ah well, next year!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Literally anything I see or read that happens to hit squirrel-brain in the right spot: Stargate, Star Wars, Cosmere / Stormlight Archive / Sanderson's books generally, Loki series & other MCU media, OFMD, Good Omens, Dresden Files, Star Trek (and one-offs for random-ass shows like the Mentalist, 1899, tLoVM, Echoes, etc). Honorable mentions to past beloved fandoms that I'm not super likely to really get back to again include Midsomer Murders, the Witcher, Assassin's Creed, and the Expanse 💕

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Top spot is A wonderful thing (OFMD); the next four in order are all Witcher - A Tight Fit, Stolen Moments, Keep it up, and Undignified.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love seeing people's reactions, and letting them know how much I appreciate that they took the time and energy to comment (because fuck knows, I don't always have the spoons to comment on stuff myself). And it's so nice to get that connection with people and get excited about stuff together!

(I have missed some replies here and there just because of over-stressing about what to respond, and subsequently feeling guilty that I left them unanswered so long 🙈 ahh, anxiety-brain, you sure are special)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is one is easy, it's definitely Zombie / what's in your head. One of only two times I've written Major Character Death, and the only time I've used the Angst and Tragedy tag.

It's fucking brutal, honestly. Damn good, but ouch. Dark. Sometimes I reread it when I just want to cry hopelessly for awhile. It's like an... emotional reset or something.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings in the happy-sexy-sated vein, but most of my fics are also happy-sexy-oneshots so there isn't any real conflict or worry to come back from that makes the happy ending something that wasn't a given, if that makes sense. My first thought for something more involved was Inflection Point, but it's not exactly a happy ending for everyone. So I think I'll go with Curious Creatures, because even though I know how it ends and I wrote the damn thing, I still somehow get worried it will have a sad ending every time I go back and reread it, and then I'm relieved all over again at the end.

(Honorable mention to the Adventures of Admiral Prawn and Yee-Claw, because how can we not be happy that he found his lost hat with the help of a new friend 😂)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly nowhere near as much as I'd kind of expect to? 😆

I had some rando dickhead giving me grief in comments on a couple Assassin's Creed fics, and I've seen people griping in fandom social media spaces about a couple of my works and the fact they (gasp) existed in the tags at all, but mostly people have been decent and kept it to themselves when they don't like me or my writing 💖

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. All of it. All the smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really! Never published one to AO3. Closest I've got is that Witcher-Assassins Creed WIP languishing in my google docs, and a silly fun little SGA-Original SW thing on tumblr from probably a couple years ago now.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Pretty sure, yeah. Not to the point of really being able to do anything about it but it kinda sucked. Shit happens.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A couple of them that I know of 😁

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Oh hell yeah. Many times 💕

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Cock/Hole.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Mmm I have two published WIPs that fall into that category exactly, Ill-advised encounters and The skills of Assassins. They were really fun, I'd have really liked to finish them, annnd I probably never will 😅

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty damn good at pacing a story, whether it's a oneshot or a longer fic, and at getting ~feelings~ across (whether it's horny feelings, smushy soft feelings, angsty feelings, whatever). And I've been told that I'm good at like... developing a setting and characters in a way that flows or unfolds naturally with the story while you read? Or something like that? (they said it better and it made me very happy)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

That would be not getting things actually started and just keeping the ideas in my head because What If this time I can't make the words do the thing good enough. Especially whenever I have ideas for something potentially longer or more involved, I do tend to kinda shoot myself in the foot by going "eehhhhh that would be a LOT of work though.... I don't want that kind of commitment....... Maybe I'll write down the idea later............"

Also being constantly distracted by shiny new things. But that part's fun 😆

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I use italics, try to limit it to single words or short phrases, and where possible I make the meaning clear or translated somehow within the fic itself. Last resort, I'll add a little glossary to the start or end notes if it's important to the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Midsomer Murders 💖

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I genuinely don't have a favourite! There's a few I'm extra proud of myself for accomplishing, but I really like most of what I've ever written for one reason or another.

Or another answer would be, my current favourite changes like every week and is usually one of my recent fics 😂 Right now it's probably The Taste of My Blade; it'll be something else in a month.

No pressure tags: @dewdropreader , @mirilyawrites , @starport-seven-five , @loki-is-my-kink-awakening , @dedkake , @wantonwhale , and I won't spam tag all the same people as I did in yesterday's tag game in case you're not feeling it right now, but as always - if you see this and want to be tagged, you are! 💙

#tag games #multifandom

[amtrak12]

Hey hi! I read your Helena Wells meta earlier, from ten years ago, and I found it so interesting and spot on, and at the end you were so sad that you felt like you didn't have a good grasp on the character - do you feel that has changed, since then? And if so, how? Or, what do you think of Helena these days?

(the meta you posted and linked here: https://www.tumblr.com/purlturtle/736985181321314304/your-helena-tangent-got-me-thinking-and-yes-this )

Oooo fun and deep questions! :D Thank you!!

Obviously, that was 2.5 high schools ago so I had to reread my original meta to refresh my memory. My first thought is: OMFG LEARN PARAGRAPH BREAKS!! O_O But then, as I kept reading and saw how many spaces were missing after periods and how the sentences after the missing space read like a new paragraph -- my second thought is, I think Tumblr did me dirty at some point in the last 10 years of formatting changes and I actually did use appropriate paragraph breaks originally. Rude. -_-

But on the point of your actual questions! lol

I don't remember writing that exact post, but being nervous and uncertain about my Helena characterization does ring a bell. I was DEFINITELY more confident in analyzing/meta-ing Myka or Pete (if it was in relation to Myka). HG made me nervous and that was only like 10% because she's British and I'm American.

Some of my uncertainty probably came from my lack of historical knowledge (which has not improved. Fun fact: this is why I nearly never invented an artifact for fic). A not-insignificant portion of my uncertainty probably also came from how confident the rest of the fandom spoke about Helena. It seemed like she was meta-ed more often and by more people than Myka was. (Which makes sense as -- in general -- Helena was/probably still is the more popular character in the B&W ship.) I don't remember ever feeling like someone was way off base or out of character with Helena, but I do remember reading meta/fic sometimes and struggling to decide if I disagreed with a character trait/action that the person assigned her or if it was an accurate aspect of Helena's character that I hadn't internalized yet.

Basically I had Opinions about how Myka (and Pete for that matter) should be written and definitely noticed when a fic disagreed with me. But figuring out HG was like the wild west to me and I could never pin her down with firm barriers on who her character is and isn't.

I am very, very rusty on my Warehouse 13 knowledge because it's been nearly a decade since I was deep in my analyzation of the show. So, I wouldn't say I have a better grasp on Helena's characterization today than I did in 2014. But there are some aspects I feel like I could understand better if I took the time to rewatch and meta.

Loss of a child -- look I don't have children, but I do have niblings now that I adore. I'm also raising a dog who taught me I do not have the energy or anxiety coping mechanisms to raise a human child, because worrying about her almost does me in on its own. And I'm in my mid-30's now and seem to have a better understanding of parent-child relationships (or I'm at least way more interested in exploring them now, both from the view of the child and the view of the parent). So, exploring Christina's death and just how much that affected Helena would absolutely be on my list of deep-dives. I never ignored this before, but I'm certain I could pull more out of this backstory today than I could've in 2014.

Helena's guilt -- I started rambling at the end of that post about which things Helena felt guilty about and whether she felt guilty at all. As far as I remember, I usually wrote her as feeling some measure of guilt for her past actions. (Although I was also usually writing full AU settings so it was a moot point.) But I also wasn't wrong when I pointed out how she didn't show any obvious signs of regret over her S2 actions, unless it was something that had hurt Myka. If I was going to go back and meta WH13, I would explore this topic deeper for sure.

Interestingly, it's not something I could've explored deeper prior to 2022-ish. But now I've watched the series Lucifer which deals entirely with guilt and has a protagonist with shut down emotions who doesn't regret things and then, through incremental changes over 6 seasons, opens up, learns to feel every emotion again, unpacks a lot of shit etc. And I have been FASCINATED by how the writers pulled that off, because on the surface it is not a show (or a protagonist) that I should care about. (And if I had watched it from ep 1.01 instead of completely ass backwards, I wouldn't have cared about him.) BUT I DO CARE! And I want to know how they pulled off Lucifer's character arc. And then I want to use some of the techniques they used to explore guilt and pain and apply them to Helena to see what emerges in her character. Because I think it would be really interesting.

And then finally, I'm not sure I have anything new to bring to the conversation around what Helena's future with the warehouse and/or happy ending looks like. But I could also never make up my mind on what would work best for her. Does she return as an agent? Does she become a regent? (Probably not, but you never know.) Does she just become the live-in inventor who doesn't venture into the field unless absolutely necessary? I have absolutely no idea what her future with the warehouse would look like if a romantic relationship with Myka is her happy ending. (Which is my personal goal obviously lol).

Because -- and this is where my Opinions on Myka come into play -- our girl Myka Bering is not leaving that warehouse. Ever. She is the new Artie. She will take over as the lead agent when he retires/partially retires. And then she will die there. In South Dakota of old age (because I refuse to let her die on a mission). Pete? Oh, my boy Pete will meet an awesome lady and retire to be a stay at home dad. He'll walk away one day. Myka? Absolutely never. You're burying her at the warehouse. Which means Helena will have to have some kind of relationship with it again, and I would have to figure out what that looks like because both today and in 2014, I can't decide what option fits her best.

I hope this answers your question! It was so deep and I love it :D I just don't have new thoughts on WH13 yet because I haven't looped back around to a full blown obsession with it yet. (It will happen. Round 2 of BERING AND WELLS ARE THE BEST THING EVER will absolutely happen at some point in my life because that's how I roll and they are.) So this is less meta about how my thoughts on Helena have changed, and more about how my approach to her character would change given the experience I've gained in the last ten years.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK!

#Helena Wells #Warehouse 13 #my meta #ask #purlturtle #yes I've started measuring time in the unit of measure 'high schools' (aka 4 years like American high schools) #because time lost meaning somewhere around 2013 when I got fully settled into my adult job

[exhausted-eternally]

Fic Writer Interview

Saw Topsy did this and it looked like fun so now Imma pester y'all with one.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35, currently, and only 1 is for a fandom other than The Lego Movie lmao

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

496,195 over the course of 6 years

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1- Reboot To be honest, I'm kind of baffled by this one. I started it just when covid was really starting to take off, lost where I was going with it before I was even halfway through writing it because I got SO swamped with work that writing was taken off the stove entirely for a while, and a lot of it was honestly just half-assed to get it finished but so many people LOVE it. I don't think I'll ever stop scratching my head about it, but at this point I've just accepted that it's my most popular fic ever. 2- Atonement Still ongoing and without a clear ending in mind yet. I had 2 ideas I was wanting to play with when I started it- wingfic, and house arrest. I've been having fun with it so far. 3- Prizes, Plunder, and Adventure This one was actually written based on a friend's doodles & half-finished ideas. I took them & ran with them as far as I could lol. I'm honestly happy that this one's in my top 5. 4- Hot Spring Another one that I'm kind of baffled by. It's a oneshot that's barely over 400 words. People like their coppernauts fluff, I guess lol 5- Time Travel Troubles This one was based on a prompt a friend gave me when I complained that I wanted so badly to write but had 0 ideas, lol. Of all my oneshots, I'm glad this one made it into my top 5.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Most of the time! Sometimes I can't think of a response though, and once I got overwhelmed with like 25 comments on one fic in one night from the same person so my brain kind of short-circuited lol. I definitely read and cherish every single one though.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angst tbh, so none of my fics really have angsty endings.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

That's a tough one to pick, I always write happy endings. XD; I guess I'll go with Starting Over Again.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Sort of; honestly I think they'd qualify more as AUs than proper crossovers, but sometimes I just get bit by a bug to write all my favorite characters in some other media settings for shits & giggles. Murphy's Law (Skyrim), Space Shenanigans (Star Wars), The Stranger (Myst), Octan Nights (1001/Arabian Nights), and Hollow Heart (Beauty and the Beast)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah, when I first started posting Murphy's Law on ff.net. Honestly it just made me laugh, it was so obviously some kid doing a shit job of being a troll.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I tried once. It was SO awful that I ended up deleting it and swore off ever trying again.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. The fandom I'm in is pretty small so no one's bothered to translate any fics in it, at least as far as I know.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh, eons ago when I was still just a little baby birb. I wrote a pitiful attempt at an OoT fic with 2 of my cousins that never got far. All my works since have been solo.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Coppernauts. C:

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Lord I have SO MANY. Think I'd pick Tech Support though (with a much better rewrite to boot, so no link for this one. If you want to read the atrocious original, you'll have to hunt it down yourself :P).

15. What are your writing strengths?

I'm told I'm pretty good with characterization. I'll choose to believe it. ;3

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing literally anything. I am terrible for just... not doing it. Which is something I REALLY need to work on if I really want to reach my 300k goal with The Umiran Amulet.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There's only one language I can speak in any capacity, so I just stick with English. If it's something that's meant to be in another language, I just italicize it. Only every once in a blue moon will I use a word in another language, like if a character is swearing in their native tongue, and only if I'm absolutely 100% certain it's the right word.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Ocarina of Time. It was the fic I mentioned earlier that I wrote with my 2 cousins.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I don't really have any, at least at this time. I am very, VERY slow to move between fandoms & ships and am probably still going to be quite happily writing for TLM even when there's literally only 5 of us left lol.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I'd have to say The Atlantis Expedition, which was my first ever fic for the TLM fandom, and the first one I'd ever finished period. I have others that I love just as much, but this one will always have a special place in my heart.

#the lego movie #coppernauts #gcbc #benny the spaceman #president business #lord business #good business #emmet brickowski #wyldstyle #unikitty #vitruvius #metalbeard #general mayhem #sweet mayhem #queen watevra wa'nabi #rex dangervest

[wack-ashimself]

Liking the first season of 'Torchwood' BUT...

See, I knew of the show 10 years ago. Watched some of it. Hated it. Forgot about it. But was watching like top 10 most shocking tv deaths (or something like that) and they had season 4 (did NOT know they had that many) of 'Torchwood' on there, saying how the latter two seasons were SOLID AF compared to the first 2 seasons.

And I am getting into it. On the 1st season finale. But I gotta say this show has so many plot holes (record setting for just 1 fucking season), and characters who make the wrong call EVERY TIME, you wonder...who am I supposed to cheer for? Cuz, by the numbers, Torchwood has hurt far more than it helped so far.

The lead-she cheated on her boyfriend (with EASE. It felt weird how easy it was for her being in a committed relationship), drugged him, erased his memory, lied to him, and then (Spoilers) got him killed. Also thru negligence, released an alien that killed a BUNCH of dudes.

The butler-he literally chanced cyber men taking over the world, and got an innocent genius doctor killed, cuz he was too much of a COWARD to let his clearly dying gf go.

Tech lady-She reads everyone's deepest darkest thoughts, then got mad when Jack sent an alien who had been murdering for centuries into the sun. She's not bad, per say, more...neutral. She's harmed the least, for sure. That's such a low bar, tho...

Captain Jack-The original reason I watched the show. I LOVED his character on Dr Who. But...this is not him. Not the same guy. Not the free spirited, happy, goofy, witty, always ready, near-god. No. This is an immortal having a mid mid mid life crisis cuz he's lived so long and WANTS to die. Seriously, cuz of his shit, and the lead's, this is like a partial drama. I will say, tho, he has had to make some TOUGH calls which did not make him well liked, but I respected him cuz you knew, deep down, it had to be done, and no one else was gonna do it*.

The doctor-In the finale I am on, he was fired. And I hope his character dies. I fucking hate him. I hate his face, his voice, his actions, his brain; everything. He convinces the noobie to cheat with him, after he basically mouth rapes her. He's angry ALL the time, yells at people thinking he's a genius when he's like the 3rd smartest. He 'falls in love' with a women, tries to demand her to stay, and gets all pity party after ONE WEEK WITH HER. Can you fall madly in love in a week? Sure. But suicidal and a threat to others cuz 'you're sad'? Go fuck yourself, you bitch. Oh, and he basically openly chooses to chance ending the world NOT because he wants to save his team mates (tho he claims that) but because he's tired of being a bitch to the time tear (or whatever the fuck they call it).

So...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CHEERING FOR? Jack is the only semi cool character, and he's still kinda an ass. They're ALL kinda...selfish, short sighted, fuckers.

But I will finish this series. Because, storywise, the themes and plots they got going, are HIGHLY original and almost always have 1-3 good twists I don't see coming. You don't understand: I have been exposed to so much media, I can predict most things I see within a short period of time (even whole movies from trailers). I'm SO good (or writing is THAT predictable) I actually can, based on context, guess, WORD FOR WORD some lines. Sometimes in real time. Not usually. But not too far off, either.

*I will say, the call the writers/show/characters are supposed to hate was Jack giving the child to the faeries. NO. GREAT call. Best call you could make. Every other call would have sucked. See-the girl was fucking evil. Sociopath. Straight up. Like the faeries. She hated everyone. Talked to no one, but the faeries. She was borderline evil. And the faeries straight up said if you don't give us the kid, we will kill en mass, starting with HER ENTIRE SCHOOL. And the girl WANTED to go. So...where's the problem giving up the kid? Her mom's sad? Who gives a shit. You just saved TONS of lives, an evil fucking kid is gone, and the fairies disappeared. Only one who really lose was the mom. Her long time boyfriend (he was an ass) and her kid: BOTH GONE, SAME DAY. That is cruel, but long run, genuinely, it's even best for her. Her boyfriend was abusing her kid behind her back, and her kid was cheering on the torture of kids. It's a win-win-win. Fuck you for trying to make me feel bad for him giving up the kid. She wanted to go, and I wanted her to go. Fuck her.

#torchwood #faeries #captain jack harkness #dr who #doctor who #spoiler #spoilers #but the show came out in early 2000s so come on!

[liquorisce]

What are some of your favorite fics? It doesn't have to be aot or something you've written

omg tysm for this question I love talking about my fav fics ESP BC SO MANY OF THEM ARE NON AOT 🙈🙈 I had to go to my ffn favs for this hihi

so this is list is home to the fics that I have truly idolised, read repeatedly and tried to emulate in some way or another in my own writing journey:

1. Heartbeat by letmeannoyyoutoday. U must have heard me screaming about this fic before. It is god tier, the angstiest, the most painful Sasusaku you can imagine. There isn’t even smut in it but still I’m rendered a sobbing mess everytime I read this story. And I read it every fortnight or so, I swear. canonverse. sasusaku get married.

2. The most dangerous things by Childoftheashes. Man this fic is the tastiest thing in the ichihime fandom istg. Ichigo is unapologetically horny and bossy and slutty and I love everything about it. Orihime is absolutely clueless and drives him up a wall and it’s literally completely smut! This author is one of my smut senseis. I also really love "chasing paper tigers like dreams" by her.

3. Sometimes I think the stupidest things by starsinew. Ok I’m sorry for putting this here bc this user doesn’t have this fic up anymore (I managed to find the epub and thank fuck for that) but I had to talk about it bc this fic changed me on a fundamental level. I fell in love with it so much, even to this day I look back at it with an education lens as to how to write smut. God tier. I hope this author is well and living their best life.

4. Friends with Benefits by confused panda bear. Syaosaku, card captor Sakura. Again a story that doesn’t exist anymore online but I still remember some of the dialogues bc they were so iconic. Definitely a primer on smut writing for me. I invite you to check out their other stories tho they’re literally the harugou mother, birthing the most insane crackship in the free! fandom and getting everyone else drunk on it thanks to their god tier writing.

5. Clarity by randomteenager — angsty but silly gruvia. i love it so much.

6. Seeking Ginny by Casca. Harry/Ginny fic with heavy emphasis on Ginny's personal growth.

7. How to Coexist by Spoilerarlert and also washed up and rundown, I haven't finished it yet but fuck its amazing so far. Both are modern AU stories, one in NYC and the other in Chicago. I can't recommend this author enough, they have a very original and compelling style of writing.

8. Little Beast by herblacktights. This is my fav modern au, high school eremika. If you haven't heard me raving me about this fic already then ur obviously new here. ITS AWESOME! go read it now

9. Dog by Ackermom. floch x eren at it's unhealthiest best. canonverse. This author is one my favs actually, I devour ALL of her work, no exception. I also really enjoyed her reibert fics.

10. Icarus & I by bluinary. Armin-centric. Modern AU. I read this many years ago but I think of it often. I loved Armin's journey in this fic.

11. Three Days by Lotos-Eater. Canonverse. An angsty smutty Shikatema fic where Shikamaru thinks he's lost her.

12. For everything there is a season by SouthSideStory. If y'all are sasusaku stans then you know SouthSideStory already. She's phenomenal. This one is angsty sequel which delves into Sakura's feelings post miscarriage. I highly recommend the prequel as well.

13. Fool for you by Hand of Destiny. Syaosaku. Card Captor Sakura. Syaoran is a business mogul from a very traditional Chinese family. Sakura is an innocent girl who decides to try giving the escort profession a go. God tier, I swear. It also has a sequel!

14. lost girl & found boy. eremika. lost girls-verse. mikasa wants to know how babies are made, etc. cw: teen pregnancy.

15. all you want by senlinyu. i just binged this yesterday. holy shit. it's the big daddy of m/f omegaverse fics, I swear. dramione. canonverse + omegaverse. really really good!!!

ty for the question <3

#anonymous conversations #fic recs

[muqingapologist]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

this is such a hard question because i’ve gone through so many phases of obsessing over pieces of media in my life, and sometimes it’s really hard for me to parse which characters are lasting favorites and which are just part of that phase. but i’ll try! keep in mind, lots of sentimentality ahead…

and this is in no particular order.

1. wei wuxian (the untamed)

ok so this kind of goes along with a previous post i made discussing my feelings of the mdzs book vs. the untamed. when i first watched the untamed at the recommendation of a friend, it was so unlike anything i’d ever seen before. and wei wuxian was so unlike any protagonist i’d ever encountered before. his determination to do what’s right no matter what others do, but also not being above experiencing doubt and uncertainty about his decisions, really touched me. also of course his carefree attitude toward life is something i repeatedly try and fail to achieve myself. it might also have to do with xiao zhan’s acting choices, but he really touched me as a character. it’s hard for me to say if the wwx of the book did the same organically because i read it over a long period of time after watching the show, so im just going to count the untamed version.

2. shizuku tsukishima (whisper of the heart)

this one is probably pretty niche but allow me to give my most heartfelt recommendation of whisper of the heart, my favorite ghibli movie and one of my favorite films of all time. shizuku is the protagonist of the film. she’s a young girl, probably about 14, and so far, her life has been defined by satisfying her imagination by always reading fiction, immersing herself in stories. inspired by the love interest of the film seiji, she decides she wants to try to be a writer. the film is kind of like a slice of life over a few months of this time, and we see shizuku struggle with perfectionism and wanting to follow her dreams and inability to take criticism, etc. i rarely cry over movies but i cried at this one because i had just never felt so seen by a character. everyone please watch whisper of the heart!🙏

3. prince zuko (avatar: the last airbender)

i think 50% of the reason he’s on here is sentimentality since avatar was a show i watched so much throughout my childhood and of course again more recently with its resurgence in popularity, but also what can i say? his character arc is unmatched. i won’t rehash the details. i will say uncle iroh would probably be here instead if we knew any more about his past because he’s off-screen journey is just so fascinating to me.

4. percy jackson (percy jackson & the 12 olympians)

PURE sentimentality but ya know….also im only considering this character how he exists in the original series. he kind of lost me in heroes of olympus. but yeah percy jackson was the first character that really impacted me back when i was 9, and i think i still carry that impact to this day. i also think the original series still holds up reading it as an adult.

5. kim wexler (better call saul)

kim nation!!! reveal yourselves!! i watched better call saul a little over a year ago and damn, it’s so rare to find such interesting, well-developed, flawed within reason female characters in a tv drama like this. her intelligence and her tendency to get carried away with jimmy don’t contradict each other but work together. her emotional journey….UGH!! kim x post-prison jimmy, who else hopes?

6. xie lian (tgcf/heaven official’s blessing)

so this one is new and i’m not completely sure the deep impression will last yet, but i’ll explain. when i first read tgcf about two years ago, i kind of skimmed because it was so long, and the feelings i had toward xie lian were…not super favorable. i was kind of bored by him and….i saw him as a lesser wei wuxian. AND I WAS WRONG!!! because i reread tgcf finally a couple of months ago, no skimming, really thinking about what i was reading and now i love him. his journey from optimistic prince who had never before suffered to carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders to nearly collapsing under that weight but despite all odds, pulling through and once again finding that optimism, or at least hope. it touched me so much this time around!!! also i don’t know why i thought he was boring first time around. this guy is funny as hell! anyway, lots of lessons to apply to my own life and whatnot.

7. ninth doctor (doctor who)

guys….hear me out. notice im not saying “the doctor” because i think most of doctor who is just nonsense. but that one season with the ninth doctor (and okay i like the tenth doctor’s seasons well enough, or i did really love them. less so these days…). so much potential. so when i say he’s one of my favorite characters ever, i accept that it’s mostly the version of the doctor that lives in my head and isn’t subject to the bad writing decisions made later in the show. it’s a lot of sentimentality, but i am really fascinated by this traumatized alien guy who just lost his entire people, finding himself devolving into more violent, unforgiving tendencies, but meeting rose, jack, whoever else along the way is able to remind him of not who he was but who he could be. of course doctor who is forever ongoing though so character development can only go too far lol.

8. nozue (old-fashioned cupcake)

this is also brand new so not sure if lasting because i only just read and watched ofc, but man. this guy’s journey from being defeatist about getting older and turning 40, being afraid of trying anything new, to allowing himself to experience new things, one of those things being falling in love! his whole concept of using regret as fuel for happiness, transmitting that idea to togawa who transmits it back to nozue later!! ahhh!! so like my love for this character might actually just be love for the entire story but i can’t not mention it every five seconds rn so….

9. isabel archer (portrait of a lady)

so this is the protagonist of henry james’s portrait of a lady, which i finally finished reading last month. and gosh! well the book itself was amazing, but i was especially touched by isabel’s character, mainly because she just felt so realistic. her motivations, her goals, her shift, her sorrows, they all feel earned, creating an incredibly vivid character that i think most people can find something in there to relate to, especially other women who have always been told they are clever and imaginative and yet find themselves struggling internally to live up to those expectations.

10. natasha rostova (war and peace)

it’s been years since i read war and peace in my university freshman seminar, so it’s hard for me to speak on the details of why exactly this character is here. but also it’s no surprise because this is a character that continues to be the star of russian literature. what i can say, she’s another bright, carefree character (clearly symbolizing aspects of russian culture but even beyond that) who it’s impossible not to feel deeply connected to. she goes through some pretty life-altering stuff in war and peace (everyone listen to the musical called natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812 for those details!!) and as the reader, you just really feel for her. idk man she still stands out in my mind, but also this is also much thanks to the musical i just mentioned above.

i kind of came up with these on the spot so like…who knows how accurate this is, but i like to talk about the things i like so sue me. thank you for the question though!!

#the untamed #avatar the last airbender #tgcf #doctor who #ninth doctor #wei wuxian #prince zuko #xie lian #portrait of a lady #isabel archer #war and peace #natasha rostova #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #better call saul #kim wexler #nozue #old fashioned cupcake #shizuku tsukishima #whisper of the heart #rambling #heaven official's blessing #top 10 list #lily posts #ask