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edytae · 8 months

Text

inexperienced (smut-mature) ft Kim Taehyung x Reader

(do not interact if you are underage) image is not mine

pairing: idol!Taehyung x (female) reader

rating: 18+, smut, mature, do not interact if you are underage

genre/warnings: inexperienced Taehyung and OC, idol Tae, signing NDA, Taehyung obsessed with OC, so much teasing, little bit overstimulation, use of vibrator

word count: 3K

A/N: I am obsessed with Taehyung's come back and it made me realise how much he'd mature into this perfect man. I wanted to remember his young self and write someting about that young man. Please let me know what you think.

masterlist | Tae-time | Spoiled | Puppy Daddy |

———

“Taehy-ung… Please…” You pleaded with a whine. Your throat was dry, your entire body soaked with sweat, your core between your legs coated with layers of your juice. Your butt was cramping along with your legs. Only your begs, Taehyung’s sighs and the buzzing of your vibrator filled your room.

You were tired, completely spent and toyed by Taehyung. Taehyung was similar. He was intrigued…oh very much intrigued in your heavenly pleasure. It was masochistic that he watched you coat yourself over and over again in front of him. He was addicted to your pleasure, to say the least. He was rock solid despite cumming a few times inside his pants.

“Baby, you are so fucking sexy…” He placed his large warm hand on your convulsing stomach. His praise did melt you at this point.

“Taetae…” You groaned at the seductive young male over you. You wouldn’t believe it if someone said this man, who couldn’t stop blushing when you made eye contact with him, could tease you ruthlessly for hours. For Taehyung, the switch to this mode was gradual, but he hit a peak when you gladly and nonchalantly signed his NDA.

All eyes in BigHit were on you on that day. From the moment you entered the conference room with your arm linked to Taehyung’s, to the moment you shrugged and signed the contract, to your departure with Taehyung. Everybody, Taehyung’s managers, certain board members, lawyers, bodyguards, Taehyung’s members. They all watched you carefully. Of course, you didn’t look like this in front of them. You were put together but still fucking delicious.

“Tae… mhmmm. Baby, I’ll-” You grabbed his wrist holding that demonic toy. Your attempt was cute.

“Yes, baby?” Taehyung’s hoarse voice made you cry even harder. “Please, please, let me cum… I want to cum for you, please.” You asked.

Taehyung cooed your tummy again. He could see the quivers in your stomach. “But I want to edge my baby one more time. Will you take it for me, sweet girl?” He asked.

You were his sweet girl. You were willing to go down that hell of orgasm denial one more time just to hear Taehyung call you a good girl.

“Just one more?” Your ask bled into a cry when Taehyung took the vibrator away from your soaked pussy. Taehyung could smell her, almost taste her in the air. You were heavily breathing, legs brought together tightly together to soothe your poor pussy. You lay on your side for a minute before Taehyung whispered into your ear. “You are incredible.” He was as spent as you are. Even though he didn’t act like it, Taehyung had no idea about female pleasure. He didn’t have time to care about that before. Now that you, a fucking goddess, were in his life, Taehyung had to learn about your pleasure. He needed to fucking cater to you.

This was why he bought you a vibrator as a gift from his trip to northern Europe. At this moment, his idol life was a cold, distant responsibility to him. You were warm, close and vibrant, you made him love life and at the same time hate it because he couldn’t freely spend it with you.

Taehyung kissed your temples as you whined. Your hands found his shoulders in the dark, caressing them to calm yourself. “Tae… I can’t take one more time.” You were genuinely tired. Taehyung could hear it in your voice.

“You are my good girl…” He whispered gently while peppering your face with kisses. “You are the hottest woman I’ve ever seen.” He kissed down to your shoulders as you huffed. “You bewitched me, love…”

You held him before his warm mouth could reach your breasts. You held his face, he was sweaty just like you. “You are so teasing.” Your warm breath hit his face. Taehyung felt guilty about how he ripped your orgasms away from you.

“But I love how you cum, baby.” Taehyung felt you writhe again. Your body asked him to eat you. Of course, you wanted him to eat you. You loved how deep his tongue could go, going to places no one ever touched.

“Oh, my sweet baby… I could eat you whole, my sweet love.” He pathetically whispered onto your face. His eyes were teary. He enjoyed seeing you so much in pleasure that you lost sense. You were his sun, moon, and everything in between.

“Tae…” You moaned out. He finally connected your lips. The kiss was very slow, dragged out and sticky. Your spit was everywhere on his lips and chin. You didn’t have any chance to wipe it, and Taehyung liked it messy anyway. He gave you generous amounts of his tongue, seeing how you whined when he pulled it back instinctively. As Taehyung tried to finish kissing you and continue his mission downward, you pulled him even closer to you. You made him lay over you completely, slightly pressing his weight on you. You wrapped your legs around his waist to secure him where he was.

“Baby,” He grinned when you left for a breath. It was funny how you could cling to him to the point he was trapped. “You are such a needy girl, aren’t you?” His low chuckle teased you, but your lips didn’t stop. You kissed his chin and bucked your hips up to his crotch to seek stimulation.

“Do you want this? Mhmm? Is that what you want?” Taehyung glided lower to press himself fully even though you held his hair strongly at the root. Right before you could complain, his hard dick under his pressed your core.

You moaned out loudly.

“I think this is what my dirty girl wants…” Taehyung dropped his head down, got onto his knees for support, pulled the pillow underneath your head. “Up baby. Shh, don’t cry. I will give you what you want.” He patted your ass so he could slide the pillow underneath your ass to angle it.

He was right. It felt so much better like this. “Come…” You cried when Taehyung stood on his knees between your legs. You reached out for him. You needed his skin on yours, his breath on your ear. Anything else could make you cry out of lack of pleasure.

Taehyung did exactly what you wanted. He laid over you again. But this time he was on his knees to support himself. The position worked better than he practised on his pillows, solely because you had beautiful curves and limps that accommodated him deliciously. “See, look… There we go…” He cooed when he gave you a hardness to rub against.

He used to give you his knee to grind, it was when he didn’t know anything about sex. But now that Taehyung had done enough research, he could get you to orgasm by himself.

“Ah, Taetae….” You gave him a satisfactory sigh when he plotted himself between your legs, his elbows digging into the mattress. As Taehyung had rather wide shoulders, you needed to spread your legs wider, which made you very shy because you were fully on display for him.

Your knees tried to stay close while your ankles were separated by Taehyung’s gentle hold. He found it very amusing as he rubbed the outside of your thighs gently to get you comfy.

“I want you to feel relaxed and calm, my baby. It is me… You don’t need to be shy. I will just make love to you.” Taehyung was gentle as always and he made his intentions very clear.

You nodded as your thighs kept twitching. “I’m-m senss-ss…” You finished with a hiss.

“I am going to kiss your cute clit, baby. You let me do it, right?” He looked up to you for your approval. You shakily nodded, “More than anything…” You were so needy for him.

“Oh, my sweet girl… Thank you for allowing me to touch you… I am such a privileged man…” His warm tone melted against your folds. His voice vibrated your bones as you released a high-pitched hiss at the first touch.

Taehyung’s lips were warm and soft. The rough patch of a beard on his chin made you gush out more sweet juices for him. “Baby…” He moaned deliriously. He was in your most sacred place. He was kissing up and down your clit, licking up all of you.

He uncontrollably bucked up to the mattress, releasing his pent-up energy. His dick felt so good against a rough surface, of course not good as your soft lips. “Ba-by… You are so delicious…” He rubbed his chin to your tight hole, messing his face.

“Tae…” Your hand was in his messy hair, trying to pull him where you like the most. “Mhmm?” Taehyung asked, his eyes crossed, nose deep in your cunt.

“Can I cum?” You cried for him, you weren’t sure which was wetter: your eyes or your cunt.

Taehyung decided to tease you just for a little longer. “Mhmm, maybe.” He gently spanked your clit with his fingertips. “Ah, Tae-tae…” You moaned, legs trapping poor Taehyung more. With your sweet moan, Taehyung felt himself drip all the way down his shaft. If he wasn’t careful, he could easily cum again.

He grinned against your pussy, his teeth slightly catching on your soft flesh. “You want me to bite this little wet cunt, huh?” He followed his word with a clear wet spank on your hole.

“Oh!” Your fingers painfully held Taehyung’s hair. His scalp burnt deliciously when you pulled it because of the pleasure he gave you.

“You are fucking mine, baby…” He murmured into your lips and continued licking up just in case you felt pain. “Your wet pussy belongs to me…”

You nodded vigorously as your fingers explored his soft locks. Your moans were soft and whiny as Taehyung drank you up. He kept mumbling but you were too gone to hear him. Taehyung didn’t try to make you cum, he had already abused your pretty clit too much. He wanted to give you soothing licks to assure you that he fucking loved how you tasted.

“Taehyung… I want to cum, please fuck me...” You pleaded as his nose tried to dive deeper into your cunt. You loved the sensation but he was spending you. Taehyung detached from you after a few kisses planted on your lips and inner thighs. When he came to your eye level, you saw his pink cheeks, wet lips and nose, dishevelled hair. He had blown pupils with a needy face. “I need to eat you more.” He licked his lips as if you were going to deprive him from your pussy.

When you whined impatiently, he wiped his sweat. “Okay, okay. You have been an excellent girl for me… So, I can f-fuck y-you now.” Despite the strong dirty talk, Taehyung was still too excited for you so he stuttered.

You took a relieved breath, “T-thank you, my Taetae.”

Taehyung rushed out his boxers quickly, making two of you bounce on the bed. You giggled as his long legs tried to maneuver. “Ok-okay okay…” He whispered as he took his stance back in between your legs, this time completely naked.

You couldn’t look at his lower region without blushing like a beetroot, and it didn’t help Taehyung to stop teasing you. But the two of you understood each other.

Despite you averting your eyes, your hands weren’t shy. You brought your hands to his tummy, hovering his hot and hard dick. Taehyung was standing tall in between your legs, your thighs over his to spread you for him. He was completely naked like you, his soft golden chest rubbing against your fingertips. His nipples were erect in little peaks, “Your nipples are smaller than mine.” You giggled as your fingers failed to reach them.

Taehyung looked down to his chest and giggled with you. “Your nipples are more delicious than mine.” He said back with spit leaking from his mouth. You went through his nipple obsession previously and it was torturous to have his warm mouth to suck on your sensitive nipples. Taehyung gently ran his thumb over them. You held his wrists despite trusting him with your body. “Do you like this, baby?” He asked.

“It’s better after y-you made me w-wet… It isn't good when I am not turned on.” You explained as Taehyung tentatively listened.

“Thank you for allowing me to do this, baby.” Taehyung appreciated how you were open to him, and he didn’t want to take it for granted. He always reminded himself that you were a fucking angel that came to his life, and he continued to act like it.

After teasing your nipples for a few times, his hand caressed down to your waist. He huffed; this was the most anticipated moment of this occasion– the one he was a bit nervous for.

“Y-you know I am still learning to control myself.” He confessed. You gingerly smiled at him. “I will t-try my best not to cum right away.” He promised. As an inexperienced young man, who is infatuated massively, he had some minor problems with his performance. Despite being the performance king he is with an infinite stamina; Taehyung didn’t last long inside of you.

“I just cannot think of anything else than you, baby. You make me wanna bust a nut immediately.” He whined as your sneaky fingers touched his sensitive head. He generously gave you precum. “I don’t care…” You shrugged.

“We will explore and learn together so it is fine by me, Taehyung.” You made eye contact with him as you wrapped your fingers around him. Taehyung’s eyes rolled back, he was meaty in your hand. “I want you to enjoy it as much as I do…”

“Y-you have no idea how much I enjoy this, baby.” Taehyung breathlessly confessed. “I love you so much…”

You had a confidence boost and gave him full tugs, trying to mimic the way he touched himself. Taehyung gulped down hard. “I love you so much too, baby.” You replied back.

“Y/N… C-can we c-continue so that I can l-last longer inside you?” He didn’t want you to stop stroking him, but his need to be wrapped inside your warm walls was more intriguing. You gently slowed down your already slow strokes, “You put it in.”

Taehyung nodded, licked his lips and took ever. “I will be slow.” He whispered to himself. He needed to be slow for himself to not get overwhelm and for you to not feel any pain.

“Hmhm…” You nodded, eyes closed, anticipating the first touch. The first touch of his dick to your sensitive pussy lips was the worst and the best. Taehyung hissed in pain when your warm wetness kissed his skin. You, again, giggled in pleasure. At this point, you were addicted to his teasing.

“I will push gently…” Taehyung reminded himself as his hips ever so gently glided against yours. It felt like he was poking you– a sensation that always made you laugh and giggle. Seeing you enjoy yourself so much that it made Taehyung almost teary.

“You feel so good, baby.” You breathed out. Your pussy felt wet and almost numb. It felt like your entire crotch was somehow fluttering, so his hard dick grounded you to a sweet pleasure. He didn’t have any difficulties in getting himself in. You were so relaxed and prepped for him that you fit like a glove.

Taehyung dropped himself over you, he needed to kiss your lips to soothe himself out of overwhelmed stimulation. “My love…” He cried to your ear; his back was arching. “Y-you feel so good.” He said as he was almost 1/3 in. This level was the best for both of you as later you started hiss in pain.

“Let’s catch a breather.” Taehyung said as you clamped over his dick over and over again with breath hitches. “You will make me cum, right? Y-you won’t stop this time?” You asked while digging your nails into his biceps.

“I won’t baby… I will fill you up this time.” He drew himself out and pushed back in. “I-i know you will. You are so perfect for me, Taetae.” You drooled.

“Am I? Am I good at this, tell me!” He asked

“You’re s-so good, baby. I love how yo-ur hard c-cock fucks me so deep…” Your dirty talk was Taehyung’s fuel. His eyes locked at how you took him in easily and made him wet. You were soaking him and giving him the best warm kisses on his dick. His dick was home inside you.

“I shaped your insides with my dick, right? Your pussy is shaped to fit me… only me… I only fuck you, baby. You’re my everything. My fucking fantasy… I can’t believe I am able to fuck you… My pretty doll. My obedient kitten. T-thank you for letting me touch you, my princess. I-i love it.” Taehyung deliriously went on as he brought you the sweetest pleasure. Meanwhile, he was practicing to last longer for your pleasure. He was studying sex every day for this.

You moaned with every single of his thrusts. It was way more fulfilling than his lazy tongue so you were on the orgasm train within minutes. “I-i will cum, baby.” You let yourself enjoy the peak earlier than him as you deserved this dearly.

Taehyung gave you an animalistic growl, he held himself from changing his pace. He knew that it got frustrating for you if he changed his technique right before you came. He already had teased you a lot so this was your time to shine. He tried to kiss your cheek as you bounced up and down against the bed sheet with his powerful thrusts.

As much as he was attentive to your needs and likes, you were slowly figuring out what Taehyung enjoyed. You brought your one hand to his beautiful hair and pulled it while giving him the most enjoyable moan ever. “I-i’m cum- ah Tae. Tae…”

Taehyung was too fucking weak when you pulled his hair. Your walls squeezed him for his life and with that he desperately cum for you too. You gasped when his warm seed filled you in. You pulled him by his hair and Taehyung fell into your neck. He kissed your shoulder while heavily breathing.

“Taehyung…” You sighed while caressing Taehyung’s back to stop him from twitching. Despite being fucking spent on top of you, Taehyung still didn’t crush you and held himself somehow above you.

“You are so dangerous…” Taehyung whimpered against your ear with a kiss. You got me by the balls…” He cried while he went soft in you. He placed his face onto your shoulder and drooled over your breast. “I love you so much, Y/N.” You caressed his head as he whimpered once again. “I love you too, my baby love.”

He looked up to you with bread cheeks “Will you hold me for a while?”

———

masterlist | Tae-time | Spoiled | Puppy Daddy |

If you liked this, please consider leaving a comment :)

#taehyung smut #kim taehyung smut #bts v smut #bts taehyung smut #taehyung fanfic #v smut #taehyung oneshot #bts smut #masterlist #edytae

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ladyescapism · 2 years

Text

return home - eris

warnings: none

wc: 1,00

part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He has returned home, Lady,” the butler said, poking just his head in the door. “He will be in bed soon.”

“Very good,” you sighed in relief. “Thank you, Michael. For keeping me informed.”

“Of course, Lady. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Michael closed the door behind him, and you felt like you could finally breathe.

Eris had been gone for 17 days now. At first, he was only supposed to be gone 10 days, but delay after delay had pushed his return date further and further back.

You had missed him more than you thought you would. There were the letters he sent you, of course, ensuring you that he was safe, keeping you updated on where he was in Pyrthian, and the reasons for the delays, but they weren’t the same as seeing him every day over breakfast and dinner, taking your walks through the gardens, and the nights where…

Not the time to think of such things, as you had had to resort to multiple times over the last few days.

You made your way around the room, blowing out the few candles you had burning and thought of when you and Eris were first married.

You were so nervous that first night after your wedding ceremony. Traditionally, there would have been a counsel of high-ranking males from across the court overseeing the consummation of your marriage, but Eris did away with that for your sake.

At first, you were afraid it was because Eris had something horrible planned for you and didn’t want people to see that. But in reality, he wanted you to be comfortable, and you didn’t even have sex that night. He assured you that he would never force you into something you didn’t want, wife or not.

Instead, you spent that night talking to him freely, without a chaperone looking over your shoulder. You asked him all sorts of questions about himself and life at court in general. And much to your surprise, he answered them all fully. And then fell asleep on the couch in your rooms.

A few weeks later, after you had become more familiar with Eris and you began falling in love with him, you invited him to your bed.

He was gentle with you. So sweet when you made love for the first time. He had progressed into being a little rougher, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

As you went to blow out the last candle, it wouldn’t budge. Not as you got close to it and blew as hard as you could.

Immediately you knew who was playing tricks on you.

“Now, tricks aren’t very nice, my lord,” you said smiling as you turned around.

And there he was peeking his head through the door you didn’t hear open, grinning like a cat.

“They aren’t nice, but very funny.”

You didn’t even chastise him a little before taking off across the room in a sprint to get to him.

He barely had time to get fully in the room before you jumped into his arms, almost tackling him to the ground with the force of your hug.

He returned your hug with the same enthusiasm, sinking to the ground and pulling your body close as he murmured into your ear, “I guessed you missed me too.”

You didn’t answer for fear that you would start crying tears of joy at seeing him again.

After what had to be 10 minutes of you and Eris embracing on the floor, you finally released him and both of you rose from the floor.

“You must be tired after getting back so late. I’ll let you get some sleep.”

“Yes, sleep would be nice.”

He turned towards the door.

“You could stay here,” you offered, hopeful. “The bed and room are already warm.”

“Thank you, but I’m very tired and not in the mood for s-”

“No, no,” you cut him off. “Neither am I. I mean just to sleep.”

He looked at you for a moment and conceded by starting to make his way over to your bed.

He had never slept in here without having sex first. Whenever you did have sex, it was normal to lay with each other and cuddle for a while before falling asleep. Normally, you had sex in this bed, but sometimes you went to his room. Your bed was softer, so you preferred to be in here.

Eris began to take off his clothes and you padded over to the chest of drawers that you kept sleeping trousers in for him.

After donning the sleeping clothes, he pulled back the covers for the both of you and you climbed in.

You turned to face away from him to further your point that this time wasn’t for sex. You felt his shifting trying to get comfortable, but you knew that he didn’t like his bed as soft as yours was.

You turned your head over your shoulder, “Could you get that candle?”

The bastard didn’t even have to lift a finger to extinguish the flame.

“Thank you. Good night.”

You tried to fall asleep, but it was almost awkward having Eris in the bed with you, not post-sex.

Eris turned again, but this time, situated himself so that his chest was pressed into your back and his hand came to rest on your waist.

“That’s better,” he sighed.

You just murmured in agreement.

Reaching down to your hip, you grabbed his hand and pulled it so that you were holding it in your hand, just above your heart.

You reached your head down to give his hand a small kiss, “Much.”

#eris x oc #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris fic #acotar

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ser-rctslcyer · 2 years

Note

*shuffles in*

hewwo, my beloved-

so, i've been feeling very--burnt out lately? like i can't do anything & everything i do is wrong, & my fear of everyone leaving is super active for no reason. my sleep is basically nonexistent & i'm basically only sleeping for maybe five hours, but not like--in a row.

i'm waking up & dozing back off & chats are giving me anxiety again & i just--feel like i'm getting bad all over again? i'm also still not handling losing friends, even though i cut some off on my own, well & i dunno. i guess some reassurance about all of that would be??? helpful?

this is probably all jumbled & funky, but i'm like isolating again--which is also not good. so, i guess if a certain poe dameron could i guess?? help me through it---i may actually stop feeling so stupid & useless? doesn't have to be transmasc reader but if you do i will kiss you on the mouth & share my gummie snacks with you-

anyway; i love you so much & i'm sorry this is wordy/kinda heavy!

*rolls awaaaay*

Title: And When I Fall, Piece Me Back Together

Pairing: Autistic! Poe Dameron x Autistic! Transmasc! Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Request: As stated above!

Warnings: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Self-Doubt, Depression, Self-Worth Issues, Crying, NSFW, Emotional Porn, Oral Sex, Worship (Boob Worship), Making Love, Breeding

A/N: I hope this brings you some comfort for what you’ve been going through— but also this definitely hurt.

It doesn’t matter.

That’s what you tell yourself— because how could it?

Billions along the galaxy lived in terror; hiding, scavenging, begging for any sort of peace, so that they may live without much fear or dread of what is to come. They’re distressed and tired— maker, they’re so tired of all the fighting, from both sides.

The Resistance was just as fatigued.

Too few in number, results of endless unavoidable tragedies that only continue to grow, even though you all pretend it will slow. Rations were dwindling, gear was rusting, breaking, and there were no new signs of gaining anymore. Everyone was overworked and miserable, a good portion were injured; every last one of you clinging desperately onto hope.

So why did your feelings matter?

Why should it matter when in the grand scheme of things, everyone was hurting the same, if not worse? Why should anyone care to help you?

It’s not like anyone would notice anyways.

You weren’t special— you were just you.

Who would even want to help you?

You endure these thoughts, dragging yourself through the muck of your anguish, trying to perform your duties. A bitter fake smile, a small laugh here and there, and everything seemed as it should be-- normal. Everything flowed routinely, everyone acted the same, and no one noticed a thing. It was hard not letting your doubts seep out to those around you, they weren’t exactly to blame for how you felt; these feelings were up to you to sort out.

And yet the seed of doubt had been sown— your insecurity and anxiety flourished.

There were only so many months you could take feeling unfavorable. It seeped into meal times first; excuses thrown freely of why you couldn’t be with everyone else. Next, it was downtime, lying that you were behind with reports or needed to take inventory before slipping away for the rest of the day. Even laying in the cool bed with your boyfriend, you slink away as your brain was relentless. Soon enough, you wouldn’t need one as no one asked you anymore, and you couldn’t even blame them. You couldn’t be a good friend to any of them— were you really even a friend at all?

Maybe they thought you were annoying.

Maybe they thought you were boring.

Maybe they never cared at all.

Maybe they simply forgot.

Those semi-feasible truths broke you.

Those thoughts etched deeper into your head, and you found yourself quietly removing every bit of yourself from everyone you were close to. Most of your days were spent mute, not uttering so much as a word unless you were spoken to. Conversations were filled with such forced spurious energy, so at the very least you could fit in and not disrupt the flow. You were your own company for two months; no matter how much you despised it.

Until he began popping his head in.

Poe.

Your partner.

You’ve known him since he joined The Resistance, which was around the same time you inevitably joined. The two of you were thick as thieves, always hanging around each other, always being reckless— the feelings that developed were not a surprise to either of you, and fought for a better future, together. There was no part of him you didn’t trust, but your doubts were too quick to consume. The last thing you ever wanted to feel for him was the sting of rejection, and so you did your best to mask it— or so you thought.

He never came to you asking questions, knowing how ultimately fruitless it would be because it’s too overwhelming. Instead, he sought you out, briefly speaking before sitting in silence. He never pushed for anything more. Simply, relaxing in your space no matter what you were doing; whether it was eating or working on your datapad, he was always there. You appreciated his efforts, even though there was not much you could say to him yet.

A familiar humming breaks your thoughts and the metal door opens with a soft hiss. Poe steps in, looking a small bit disheveled with the way he had been running his fingers through his curls. It was a thing he often did whenever there was something that had him anxious. You eyed him from the comfort of your shared bed; he paced awkwardly around for a moment, unable to decide if he wanted to take his boots off or hang his jacket, first.

“Poe?” he came to a halt, looking toward you softly as you slid out of bed.

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?” you ask, watching him register your words. His eyes drop to the floor and then to his sides before he walks up to you; his palms brushing over your knuckles as his fingers wrap around your wrist.

“I’m worried about you,” he whispers, looking down at your hands and then back up at you with concerned eyes.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you worry. It— it feels nearly impossible, and—“ the explanation gets caught in your throat and your vision blurred.

“Star, we don’t have to talk about it just yet, just whenever you feel ready.” He squeezed your hands, adding to the sincerity of his words. You tried to push back your feelings, but the damn had already been cracked and a pitched noise left your lips. Instantly, you were tugged into his chest, his arms snuggly around you as he nuzzled the top of your head. Your hands found their way to his shirt, digging into the fabric as you inhaled your scent— both of you standing like that until he spoke up.

“Star, do you want me—“

“Please,” you mutter out all too quickly, “please I want to talk to you.”

He doesn’t ask again, securing his arms around you before he slowly squeezed your torso. The pressure eases in your body, making you release a low whine— and from there it erupts. A broken cry of frustration, sadness, and fear, leaves your lips, and you break down. Tears stream fast and freely down your face; the noises brought forth from the pit of your stomach, that your chest hurts after a while.

“I— I thought no one would care,” your voice wavers as you finally muster the words to speak, “because everyone else is hurting all the same and I didn’t want to burden anyone else,” you admit, pressing your face deeper into his chest.

“I thought maybe I had messed up, that I wasn’t a good friend to any of you— and it just got worst. I didn’t think any of you would care, and it felt like it was all my fault and, and—“ all the pain comes flooding back, the tears return as you began to blubber.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay baby; I got you, I got you,” he assured against your head, hugging you tighter to him. His grip relaxed, an arm snaking up to the middle of your back as he swayed gently back an forth; bringing you slowly back down from your distress. It was quiet, only soft sighs and sniffles echoing softly across the room.

“It’s okay to need help,” Poe spoke into your hair, pausing his movement to listen out for any sort of discomfort from you. When he heard none, he pulled away just enough to look at you, and caress the side of your face.

“It’s okay to come to us when you’re feeling bad,” his thumb stroked over cheek, tenderness in his eyes.

“I swear to you,” he knocked his forehead against yours gently, pressing closer as a small whine left you, “you are never being a bother, annoying, or a burden coming to us whenever you need someone. We all need a friend sometimes and I’m certain every one of us would be by your side whenever you need it— Finn, Rey, BB, Jessika— even the General herself. We care so much about you, I care so much about you— I don’t want to see you suffer, baby.” You whimper at the earnestness in his voice, but your apprehension was too strong.

“But what if-- what if it never leaves? What if I keep ending up feeling this way at some point?” you blurt out anxiously, clinging to him harder; ready for it all to break apart again. Instead, his other hand found your cheek; eyes filled with nothing but fondness.

“Then I promise you, I will always be here to chase it away. No matter how many times I have to, I will always be there to tell you how those lies are— how deserving you are of friendship and love.” You sniffle softly, blinking away the tears, he continued to could wipe away. “I’ll always make sure you feel cared for.” he finished, relief flooding through you; a tiny smile gracing your lips.

“Thank you.” you whisper, finally letting yourself relax against him, and wrapping your arms around his waist. The warmth of his palms brought you more comfort, as he pressed his head rested against yours; the two of you basking in each other. Unprompted, he gently places small kisses over your face, starting from your nose and then to each side of your cheek— you sigh contently.

“Do you want to?” he asks, nose rubbing against yours; both your eyes fluttering shut as his lips brushed lightly over your own.

“Yes please,” the reply beckoned his lips over yours. Poe tilted your head up, sweetening the kiss as he stroked your cheek. A soft moan left from the back of your throat; your hands move to tug at the front of his shirt. It’s almost overwhelming, feeling your blood finally rush through your veins after months of being desolate; the burning in your lungs is a welcoming feeling. When he breaks the kiss, his lips still graze over the corners of your own, hands snaking away to the hem of your shirt. You step back as well, giving him a curt nod, and he pulls your shirt up over your head. The cool breeze makes you shudder, but not as bad as when his mouth places tender wet kisses over your tits. You don’t get much of a chance to react as he kneels down before you, mouth over your stomach and down to your sweatpants. He peels them, along with your bottoms slowly down in one go; sucking and nipping over the flesh of your inner thighs. You cursed, holding his head and shoulder for support, which he chuckles about. He stays there for a moment, leaving the sweetest trail of kisses over the ‘v’ of your hips, glancing up ever so often to look at you. When he was done, he got up, fingers massaging over your hips as you stood bare before him.

He’s smiling as he kisses you again, pulling you closer to him. His tongue swipes over the inside of your mouth, drawing more noises out of you as he backed you against the bed. Carefully, his grip tightens as he lifts you up and you take the hint, pressing up off your feet and wrapping your legs around his waist. He sets you down to the soft sheets; pressing all sorts of kisses over your jaw and your neck. The desire set deep within your belly and after minutes of teasing, he moves away to admire his handy work.

Tugging off his own jacket and shirt with ease; his necklace bounces against his chest before he kicked off his boots. Keeping his eyes on you, he shimmies out of his own bottoms before climbing between your legs; hiking one up over his shoulder as he sinks down. The flat swipe of his tongue makes you cry out and moan as he suckles on your clit. Your stomach quivers as he laps enthusiastically, sending waves of pleasure through you. He keeps one hand tightly gripping your hip, as the other slide up to grab your boob; kneading it adamantly. You don’t hold any of your screams back as he presses his face deeper into your cunt. His tongue pumps skillfully in and out of you and the stimulation from his hands and mouth were all too much and you came hard. He devours the rest of your juices, moving back up when you began to whine.

The sweet taste of yourself from his tongue makes you shudder as you brush your thigh against his hip. He pulls your legs around him, stroking his hard cock again your dripping wet core as he sucks darker hickeys onto your neck. He groans, taking himself in one hand and pressing the tip of his cock to your clit; looking at you needily.

“Pretty boy, can I?” his voice cracks; sending shivers down your spine.

He wants you.

He loves you.

“Please, Poe,” you whine, trying to roll your hips, enjoying the small amount of friction you got. He moans, following along with your rhythm, grinding his cock against your folds until he couldn’t take it anymore and sunk in. Moans echo freely between the two of you as he bottoms out, burying his face into your neck. Pleasure and desire buzz through your entire body as you beg for him to move.

With a firm yet slow roll of his hips, he thrusts deeply in and out of you; sending shockwaves of whines out of you. Your toes curl in an instant as his teeth latch onto the part where your neck and shoulder meet. You don’t mean for your nails to dig into the skin of his back, but everything inside of you hungers to feel more of him– to feel good. You fall deeper into that feeling as his hips kept meeting yours and the sweet nothings that flew out of his mouth, like your own personal shooting stars. His kisses felt like fire, sloppy and yet the most passionate ones he had ever given. You lost track of yourself, whines and whimpers leaving freely as the knot in your stomach grew.

“I’m here, I’m here,” his right hand leaves your hip to cup the back of your neck, pressing another needy kiss to your lips, “I’m right here, baby.” His hips began to move faster, grinding against your own as he brought you closer. There was no coherent thought left in your brain as he rolled his hips thoroughly and soon you were toppling over into the abyss of pleasure. You came harder than you ever had with the sharp cry of his name, your body humming blissfully as he continued thrusting. Not long after he came to a halt, pressing deep inside of you as he came with the soft whine of your name against your cheek. You could feel just how much he had filled you, a wrecked whine leaving you; nearly convincing you that you came again. You both held onto each other for a moment, catching your breaths, before he found enough strength to flip the two of you over so that you were resting on his chest. It was a bit of haze for a moment until Poe began speaking, slowly talking you out of your space and pressing short kisses to the top of your head.

“I love you,” he mumbled, pecking your lips, “I promise Star, I always will.”

“I love you too,” you whisper sleepily back, catching the delighted grin on his face before you began to drift off. His fingers gently stroked over your arm, lulling you into one of the best nights of sleep you had gotten in a while.

Reminded that you were loved and cared for.

#poe dameron fic #poe dameron fluff #star wars imagine #poe dameron x transmasc!reader #poe dameron x reader #star wars x transmasc!reader #star wars smut #rct fic

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the-shoemaker-report · 2 years

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Where Have All the Tears Gone?

Can you remember when tears flowed freely on Tisha b’Av or on Yom Kippur? If not, have you ever heard stories of how even just one or two generations ago almost every Jew could cry and cry on such days? To paraphrase the lyrics of an iconic Pete Seeger song, “Where have all the tears gone? / Long time passing / Where have all the tears gone / Long time ago?”

Biologists tell us that humans have the capacity for three types of tears: basal tears (which keep the eyes lubricated), reflex tears (which protect against foreign irritants) and emotional tears (produced as a result of strong emotional stress, suffering, pain, joy, etc.). It is a curious fact of biology that animals do not shed emotional tears; humans are the only species that do. How come?

Most of us have been conditioned while very young to believe that crying is an inappropriate response to life’s challenges. Whether we were told that crying is only for babies and that ‘real grown ups’ don’t cry, or whether we were told in more subtle ways whenever we cried, i.e. ‘Shhh, shhh. It’s okay. Don’t cry”, either way, we learned the lesson. Crying is inappropriate. It’s a sign of weakness.

It is our opinion that this is one of the greatest mistakes in childrearing. Let us explore these issues.

David ha-Melech wrote (Tehillim 42:2,4): כְּאַיָּל תַּעֲרֹג עַל־אֲפִיקֵי־מָיִם כֵּן נַפְשִׁי תַעֲרֹג אֵלֶיךָ אֱלֹקִים...הָיְתָה־לִּי דִמְעָתִי לֶחֶם יוֹמָם וָלָיְלָה בֶּאֱמֹר אֵלַי כׇּל־הַיּוֹם אַיֵּה אֱלֹקֶיךָ (As a female deer longs over the springs of water, my soul longs for You G-d…my tears [have been in place of] bread day and night, when they say to me all day long, ‘Where is your G-d?’). Why did David ha-Melech cry so much? Was it that the taunting of others caused him to sink into depression or that he couldn’t handle the pressure of the trials he suffered through? No, he wept because others were so distant from their Creator they couldn’t see the truth when they were staring at it with their own eyes. He wept because he shared in the anguish of the Divine Presence [Shechinah] who is likened to the female deer in exile (e.g. Zohar Acharei Mot 68). In many places through Sefer Tehillim, we read similar sentiments, for example (Tehillim 6:7): יָגַעְתִּי בְּאַנְחָתִי אַשְׂחֶה בְכׇל־לַיְלָה מִטָּתִי בְּדִמְעָתִי עַרְשִׂי אַמְסֶה (I am weary with sighing, I make my bed swim every night, I drench my couch with my tears). Now that’s a lot of tears! His parents probably never told him to stifle it when he was a little boy. David ha-Melech cried, wept and sobbed because he was mature and he appreciated the fact that the human experience is not just an intellectual experience but an emotional one as well.

Yirmeyah the prophet also wrote about it (Yirmeyah 8:23): מִי־יִתֵּן רֹאשִׁי מַיִם וְעֵינִי מְקוֹר דִּמְעָה וְאֶבְכֶּה יוֹמָם וָלַיְלָה אֵת חַלְלֵי בַת־עַמִּי (If only my head were water and my eye a source of tears; I would weep day and night over the slain of the daughter of my people). Lamenting over the destruction of his nation by the Babylonians, he said (Eichah 2:11): כָּלוּ בַדְּמָעוֹת עֵינַי (My eyes are spent from tears); and also (Eichah 3:48): פַּלְגֵי־מַיִם תֵּרַד עֵינִי (Streams of water flow down from my eye). Many other examples could be given, but this is enough to show that, for the most part, the tears of the greatest among our ancestors are the tears over the exile of the Shechinah.

A few weeks ago, in the article entitled “Four Dimensions, Teshuvah and Time Travel”, we wrote about the superlative example of the heartfelt teshuvah of Chizkiyahu ha-Melech, as it is written (Melachim Bet 20:2-3): וַיַּסֵּב אֶת־פָּנָיו אֶל־הַקִּיר וַיִּתְפַּלֵּל אֶל־יְיָ…וַיֵּבְךְּ חִזְקִיָּהוּ בְּכִי גָדוֹל (And he turned his face to the wall [קיר, kir] and he prayed to Hashem…and Chizkiyahu cried a great cry). The Gemara asks a very important question (Berachot 10b): מַאי ״קִיר״? אָמַר רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ: מִקִּירוֹת לִבּוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״מֵעַי מֵעַי אוֹחִילָה קִירוֹת לִבִּי וְגוֹ׳ (What is the meaning of ‘wall’ [kir]? R' Shimon ben Lakish said that he cried from the walls [kirot] of his heart, as it stated, ‘My insides are churning within me! I am in agony. The walls [kirot] of my heart...!’ [Yirmeyah 4:19]). In other words, by stating that Chizkiyahu ha-Melech ‘turned his face to the wall and prayed’, the verse isn’t just coming to teach that it is ideal to face a wall when praying, but rather to teach a much deeper point, i.e. that he turned to Hashem with honesty, stripped away the façade, poured out his soul and acknowledged the truth of his actions. It is this very same point that David ha-Melech brings up in Tehillim 51:19: זִבְחֵי אֱלקִֹים רוּחַ נִשְׁבָּרָה לֵב־נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּה אֱלֹקִים לֹא תִבְזֶה (The sacrifices of G-d are a broken spirit; G-d will not disgrace a broken and crushed heart). And how does one know that he has reached that level of a truly broken spirit? Go back and read the account of Chizkiyahu ha-Melech.

We all know the story of how R' Akiva was sitting by a brook and noticed a trickle of water dripping onto a rock. Examining the rock closer, he was astonished to learn that the water had actually carved out a small hole in the rock. He reasoned that if something as hard as a stone could be reshaped by a constant supply of water drops, how much more so could Torah that he could learn bit by bit reshape his soul. This was the impetus he needed at the age of 40 to begin learning how to read the Torah. On one level, the water drops symbolize the words of Torah; but on a deeper level, the water drops symbolize his tears. He realized that the only way to truly heal his soul and reshape his heart was through tears, as it is written (Eichah 2:19): קוּמִי רֹנִּי בַלַּיְלָה לְרֹאשׁ אַשְׁמֻרוֹת שִׁפְכִי כַמַּיִם לִבֵּךְ נֹכַח פְּנֵי אֲדֹנָ-י (Get up! Sing out in the night, at the beginning of the watches; pour out your heart like water in the presence of Ado-nai). Singing to Hashem in the night and then using that song as inspiration to pour out one’s heart to Hashem will lead a person to real teshuvah from a broken heart. Then Hashem will put joy into that broken heart, as it says (Tehillim 4:8): נָתַתָּה שִׂמְחָה בְלִבִּי (You put joy into my heart). There is no other way to be truly happy.

Not all emotional tears are the same. We are not talking here about tears of sadness, depression or self-pity. Rather, we are talking about tears of yearning, yearning for closeness [דביקות, deveikut] to Hashem, to have the Shechinah return to its place and for all of us to know intimately our Creator, as it is written (Yirmeyahu 31:34): כִּי־כוּלָּם יֵדְעוּ אוֹתִי לְמִקְּטַנָּם וְעַד־גְּדוֹלָם (For all of them will know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them). And this takes us right back to the first verses we brought down from David ha-Melech from Tehillim 42:2-4. We initially skipped verses 3, but now we turn to it: צָמְאָה נַפְשִׁי לֵאלֹקִים לְקֵל חָי מָתַי אָבוֹא וְאֵרָאֶה פְּנֵי אֱלֹקִים (My soul thirsts for G-d, to the G-d of my life! When will I be able to come and appear before G-d?) This is the desire and yearning of every true servant of Hashem, to see the Shechinah return to its proper place and the Beit ha-Mikdash rebuilt. David ha-Melech wrote (Tehillim 77:17-18): רָאוּךָ מַּיִם אֱלֹקִים...זֹרְמוּ מַיִם עָבוֹת (The waters saw you G-d…The clouds flowed water). Redemption always happens through water. It did so in the days of Moshe and Aharon, and it must do so now. So journey out into your own desert (even as our ancestors did when they left Egypt), call out to Hashem in the night with tears of deveikut and songs of thanksgiving, and witness the miracles of Hashem in your life, as it is written (Tehillim 114:8): הַהֹפְכִי הַצּוּר אֲגַם־מָיִם חַלָּמִישׁ לְמַעְיְנוֹ־מָיִם (Who turns the rock into a pond of water, the flint to flowing springs of water). The waters produced will not only be a blessing for you, but more importantly, to others besides. You will be happy all day long and that happiness will serve as a wellspring of life for others.

In conclusion, we know that tears are salty. But why are they so salty? Not ‘why’ from a biological point of view, but ‘why’ from a spiritual point of view. And why does every offering on the altar need to be accompanied by a little bit of salt? The answer is that tears are absolutely the best and most pleasing offering, as we already read (Tehillim 51:19): זִבְחֵי אֱלקִֹים רוּחַ נִשְׁבָּרָה לֵב־נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּה אֱלֹקִים לֹא תִבְזֶה (The sacrifices of G-d are a broken spirit; G-d will not disgrace a broken and crushed heart). And when we can bring those perfect sacrifices, then the final words of that mizmor will be fulfilled (51:20-21): הֵיטִיבָה בִרְצוֹנְךָ אֶת־צִיּוֹן תִּבְנֶה חוֹמוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָ͏ִם׃ אָז תַּחְפֹּץ זִבְחֵי־צֶדֶק עוֹלָה וְכָלִיל אָז יַעֲלוּ עַל־מִזְבַּחֲךָ פָרִים (May it be according to Your will to do good to Tzion; build the walls of Yerushalayim. Then You will desire the sacrifices of righteousness, a wholly burnt offering [oleh]. Then bulls will be offered up upon Your altar!)

May we merit such an awesome sacrifice! Amen.

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inmyblueparadise · 2 years

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Reconnecting (Zayn!reader)

Hello Hello Lovelies ! Sorry I was unavailable, I had a lot on my mind lately. This imagine was asked by @ready-4-fanfiction and @louis-gorgeous ! I hope you guys like it :) xx

I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry. I quit.

Less than 10 words. That’s all it took to turn your world upside down. You and the boys were two months in on the On The Road Again Tour, when Zayn broke your heart for the first time into a million pieces.

You knew being in the public eyes was hard for him, the scrutiny and the comments were getting to him. You had numerous talks with him about anxiety and feeling like the whole world was watching your every move. But you really thought that he was telling the truth when he said he was fine. All of you cried that day, hugging your now-former bandmate tightly. But you all knew that it was better for him to leave now and take care of himself, after all, your brother’s happiness had to come first. You all wanted him to be happy.

The band went on a hiatus a few months later. The brown hair boy broke your heart a second time a few months after that, during an interview. The critics of your guy's music were a hard blow, but it’s not this comment that got you. He said he didn’t make any friends. Boom. That the sound of your heart breaking again. After reading this interview you couldn’t breathe. You had spent hours on the phone with the guys, crying. Louis and Niall had to come to see you in your house and you spent hours hugging and talking some more.

You even went to Harry’s house in London, because he took the interview pretty hard. Seeing him cry made your heart break for the third time. And it’s also made you mad. For the first time since his announcement on tour, you were pissed at Zayn. Properly pissed. Coming after your boys was a big no-no. That’s why you decided to tweet. Of course you were not going to say what you were thinking, you wanted to be cryptic. Like Harry. So you tweeted a simple word. Infinity.

That was a direct link to the song you wrote after he left. How many nights does it take to count the stars? That's the time it would take to fix my heart Oh, baby, I was there for you, All I ever wanted was the truth

Then you send a second tweet : Well, hello to you too.

It’s all it took for fans and people magazines, to speculate. But you didn’t care you felt betrayed. You knew Zayn would see it. You hoped he would see it, and understand that he broke your heart. And he did.

A few days after you were in a meeting with your manager. Your phone started ringing and you asked your assistant to pick it up. He did and left the room to answer. A few minutes later he came back the phone against his chest.

Hi sorry, you should take that

I’m busy, who is it ?

The look on your assistant face was explicit, with a sigh you excuse yourself and took the phone from his extended hand. You didn’t recognize the number.

Allo ?

Hey Angel.. that voice, you hadn’t heard that voice in months. You gasped. Please don’t hang up. Tears started gathering in your eyes. Softly, because you didn’t trust your voice not to break you asked, What do you want Zayn ?

The line went silent for a little while. Probably because he knew that you were pissed at him, or you wouldn’t have used his full name.

Can we talk ? He asked softly. That made you snap.

Now you want to talk ? After months of radio silence ! You. Know what I can’t do that right now, I’m in the middle of a meeting and you are literally in another country Zayn. So no we can’t talk. You hung up the phone. Tears were now flowing freely on your face, and you kept looking a the offensive machine in your hand. After a few minutes, you pulled yourself together and went back to the meeting.

A few hours later you were exhausted, driving back to your house in London. You had been distracted after the call, obviously. And you didn’t know what to do, did you need to call the boys to tell them ? You were racking your brain about that while pulling into your gate. That's where you saw it. A black Range Rover. You knew a lot of people with that kind of car, and that got you wondering. Did you have something planned that evening ? Did you forget dinner with some friends ? All those questions were answered when you got out of your car and you saw a silhouette sitting on your front porch.

Bleached blond hair, black skinny jeans, a leather jacket, arms and hands covered with tattoos. arms and hands covered with tattoos ? You stopped in your tracks. Zayn.

Your ex-bandmate lift his head when he heard your car door close. His eyes were a little red, his hands were twisting the few rings on his finger, but you saw them shake a little.

What. The. Hell.

You stared at each other for what felt like hours. As angry as you were at him, seeing him after all this time, all you wanted to do was hug him.

I know you probably don’t want to see me Angel, and I get that. But please I can we talk ?

Right now your feet seemed very interesting. When you looked up at him, you saw the apprehension on his face. The only word resonating in your mind was his Please, he sounds so broken and anxious.

Would you like to come in for tea ? You saw him nod before he followed you inside.

You took off your shoes and coat after opening the door, and went straight to your kitchen. Zayn doing the same and following you. Or so you thought.

After putting the kettle on and grabbing two mugs, you turned around noticing his absence.

You went back to the living room, finally finding him standing in front of your « success » wall, that’s what your friends like to call it. On the wall, was all your memorabilia from the band. Picture from tour, all the plaques from the albums.. that was your now little museum. And Zayn was standing in front of it.

Taking a little trip down memory lane ? You ask with a small smile

You see him drop his head, his handsome face is grazed with a timid smile.

It seems like it’s from another lifetime, he says

The air of the room thickens, the emotion is heavy. You decide to go back to your kitchen. Zayn joins you by the time you are pouring the tea in the cups.

So, you wanted to talk. I’m listening.

I don’t… Look Angel I’m sorry, he starts but you decide to cut him off. Suddenly the faces of the boys crying came back to you, and you were getting mad again.

What are you sorry about exactly ? Saying that you didn’t like the music that we made together ? Or what about us not being friends ? Oh or about you not being close to H ? Really what are you talking about ? You were ranting at this point. But Zayn had the decency to look ashamed.

Angel I…

NO ! You stated shouting now. Do you know what it felt like to read all of this in the press ? The fucking press Zayn ! The same fuckers who loved to tear us down every time we did something !

I KNOW ! He roared getting up from the stool he was seating on. You know what they do, I didn’t say it like that ! It was taken out of context ! Do you really think I would say something like that ? You know me Y/N !!!

DO I ? That made him stop in his track. The look in his eyes made you close your mouth shut, he was looking at you like you just broke his heart. Are you the same guy who I used to stay up all night with to play video games when you were anxious ? The one who would hold me and tell me everything will be ok when I was bullied online ? My best friend, my big brother, my Z… because you left me, and I know it was because it was too much and you were losing yourself, but you left. And when you didn’t call for months, and the only news we get is this fucking interview it broke my heart..

It took him a moment to look at you, but when he did, he grabbed both of your hands before saying. I never intended to hurt you, any of you, you guys are my family and I’m sorry I lost sight of that.. The only thing I said is that we weren’t close anymore and that we were losing that bond.. I swear to you that you meant everything to me, you guys were the only thing who got me through all the shit.. You are my family and I’m sorry Angel..

You knew it took him a lot to say that, and that made you think. You got in this industry when you were 16 years old, and from day one the pressure from the media was something that you guys had to deal with. The rumors, the out-of-context sentences that the press love to twist around to get a reaction, the constant chase with paparazzi… But you guys always dealt with this together. Together. Even if he was out of the group, he was still family.

That all it took for you to launch yourself in his arms. Hugging him tightly. And when he hugged you back, you finally understood that sentence you saw online. A hug from a loved one can really bring all your broken pieces back together.

I love you Z, you said against his neck. That made him hug you even tighter.

After what felt like hours you two finally let go. That's when he surprised you even more. You are my little sister, Angel, always and forever. And that’s why.. he stopped himself.

What ? What’s wrong ?

Nothing’s wrong love, actually it’s fucking fantastic ! I know we just reconnected but I want you to be my daughter’s godmother

WHAT ?! Gigi’s pregnant ? Oh my Gosh ! The smile that grazed his face was the size of the freaking sun ! His was glowing. And for the first time since he left the band, you saw your old Zayn’s back

Oh my… You started tearing up, of course, I would love to !

After another round of hugs, you grabbed your cup of tea, and smiled.

What ? Zayn asked

You do realize you’re going to have to talk to the guys right ?

Yeah.. Louis is going to beat my ass, isn't he ?

Well, that’s the Tommo way for ya love, you said winking at him.

Laughing the two of you spend the next hours catching up on each other’s life. And for the first time in months, you had your brother back. And maybe, you thought, you could start all over again.

« And I can lend you broken parts

That might fit like this

And I will give you all my heart

So we can start it all over again »

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ilalos · 3 years

Text

Worth it (Anthony Bridgerton x reader) Part 2/2

Summary: Your arranged marriage to Anthony seems fine, until it doesn’t.

Warnings: marriage, implied sex, angst-ish, fluff, pregnancy, crying, if you notice anything else let me know :)

Word count: 2.5k

The season passed in a blur with countless flowers and conversations that filled you with expectations about your marriage to the Viscount, you truly felt like love was around the corner for both of you and it was a matter of time for that corner to be turned. He was everything you had expected and more, you could tell he was wary about letting you in but didn’t want to push him so you let him open himself to you at his own pace. The had been some stolen looks, kisses on your knuckles that had lasted a little longer than they should and hand a bit lower than what was acceptable when you danced. To say the courting had been successful was the understatement of the season in your opinion, by the time the wedding day came you were counting down the minutes before you finally became Lady (y/n) Bridgeton.

Your wedding ceremony was short and the carriage ride to Anthony’s bachelor townhouse was even shorter. The wedding night had come with a surprisingly low amount of events, your virginity had been taken the sweetest of ways, with many kisses and whispered promises of pleasure that came true. By the end of the day, you were as happy as can be, laying on your husband's chest, feeling his heartbeat slowing down and smelling the sweet vanilla scent of his skin.

When you woke up the next morning the bed was empty and he had already left to work in his study back in the main Bridgerton home. He didn’t return until late in the evening and you were waiting for him so you could have dinner together.

“Thank you for waiting for me,” he said while taking a sip of his wine.

“It’s nothing, I like that we are finally spending some time together”

Anthony just nodded and continued eating in silence.

“How was your day?” You pushed for conversation, you had been alone all day and could really use some conversation with someone different than your maid, who was terrified of speaking freely.

“It was busy” he answered simply “how was your day?” He asked after seeing the face you made at his short answer.

“It was also very busy, I reorganized the books in the library, had the kitchen staff do an inventory on the pantry, and send the maids to the market to get some flowers for the table tops” you narrated proudly, hoping he might appreciate the way you ran the home.

“Good to see you’re settling in, darling” his small praise made you smile a little.

“You don’t mind that I changed some things?” You asked somewhat concerned by his silence.

“It is your home, you’re free to do whatever you please with it,” he said dismissively.

“It’s our home, Anthony, I want to make it perfect for you too”

After dinner, he walked you to the bedroom and after a couple of heated kisses you fell in his arms once again, the pleasure he gave you was addictive. Despite his cold attitude towards you in other aspects of your life, it was in the bedroom where you felt hopeful for a future where you both might learn to truly love each other, and then he would sneak out every morning making you feel like a worthless whore.

And so your days continued like this, every night was filled with passion and every day was lonely. You couldn’t even go to the Bridgerton home, you had been taught that a married lady was not to go out without her husband, so your heart slowly filled with sadness as you spent day after day alone in the townhouse. Anthony was none the wiser because he simply thought you enjoyed being by yourself, so it never occurred to him to invite you to his family’s home or anywhere else.

A month into your marriage you found out you were with child. You were extremely happy and Anthony had shown himself to be happy as well, but then that night he didn’t come home for dinner and didn’t make an appearance in your bedroom. He was more and more distant until four months had passed and he disappeared for two full weeks before you saw him again.

It was on the day of your birthday, and he had only gone to your room because the butler told him you had been very sick that day. When he entered the room he found you seating on the bed hugging your knees close to your chest, your eyes puffy from crying and silent tears still streaming down your face. You weren’t upset he had forgotten your birthday, you had never celebrated it so it didn’t matter he didn’t remember it.

“What happened? Is everything well? Is the baby-“

“Your child is quite well, Lord Bridgerton” you interrupted in the coldest tone he had ever heard from you “to what do I owe this joyous visit?”

“I apologize for my absence, I have been very busy” he answered measly.

“I figured out that much, husband” the word was said with venom.

“Are you upset with me?” He asked offended, you had never treated him so coldly.

“I am upset with myself” you started with a pained chuckle “I don’t need you to try and comfort me because you did nothing wrong, that is the reason for my anger” a small sob escaped your lips “I was taught to be a good wife, that my only job was to give my husband heirs and to keep the house running and I understood that and I didn’t fight it because at least I would have children to fill my life with love and a husband who at the very least would acknowledge me and my efforts”

“I-“

“I don’t want you to feel like you should change or apologize, this is not your fault, I feel miserable because I filled my heart with hopes and dreams of love but that’s just not how life is, at least not mine” you harshly wiped your eyes before finishing “I understand my place now, I’m nothing but a child-bearer for you and that’s fine because you didn’t even pick me in the first place” you got up from bed and opened the door for him “please leave me alone, I will be fine”

“I can’t just leave you here alone, have you even eaten today? In your condition-“

“Your child is perfectly well, my lord” your tone had turned icy once again “please go, I am tired and want to rest”

Unable to do anything else, Anthony left the room and went back to his family’s home. His mother had insisted for him to take you there that night, but seeing your state he didn’t even bother asking if you wanted to go. When he got there he was surprised to see the dining room fully decorated, his whole family dressed in their best clothes, even Daphne and Simon had paid a visit.

“Where is (y/n)?” Asked Violet.

“She’s not feeling very well” answered Anthony looking at the table that was filled with all his wife’s favorite food “What is happening? Why are you all here dressed as if you are attending a ball?”

“Anthony, please for the love of God almighty, tell me you didn’t forget your wife’s birthday!” Violet couldn’t keep his composure, how could Anthony be so clueless.

“I-I’ve been so busy lately supervising the building of the new house, it didn’t even occur to me that it was her birthday” Anthony felt terrible, as he should.

“It’s bad enough she doesn’t like us, son” Violet sighed, seating on the table “And now she thinks we don’t care for her birthday”

“Where did you get that idea, mother?” Daphne couldn’t help but ask “When she writes to us she says wonderful things about our family”

“Then why hasn’t she visited since the wedding?” This time it was Colin asking “Mother sent a tea invitation shortly after they got married and she never showed up, sent a poor letter apologizing but did not explain why she didn’t show”

“I might have an explanation for that” Simon spoke up “My aunt was a terribly strict mother, taught her that a wife was nothing more than a child-bearer and had no liberties like men do, for example: going out unaccompanied”

“Has she been out of the house since you married, brother?” asked Eloise, turning to face Anthony who was still frozen at the doorstep.

“I don’t believe so” he entered the room and sat defeated “I just thought she enjoyed being at home by herself, god!” he rubbed his hands down his face.

“I can’t believe it, the poor thing” lamented Violet.

“She hasn’t left the house in almost half a year” concluded Benedict.

“And here we were, refusing to visit thinking she had rejected mother,” said Colin.

“I would like to clarify, I never agreed with losing contact with her over one missed invitation” added Eloise, gaining the glares of everyone present.

“It matters not what we thought nor does it matter what has happened in the past” began Violet “right now I want you to go pick her up and bring her here, she deserves to be celebrated, especially after everything we put her through,” she told her eldest child, pushing him to stand and go to the door.

Anthony mounted the carriage and urged the coachman to hurry home and as soon as he got there he ran up the stairs to your room and burst through the door, jolting you awake.

“I am so sorry, love,” ha said kneeling on your bedside “I never knew you didn’t leave the house because you thought you couldn’t, you are free to do as you please, darling” he grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles “I didn’t mean to make you feel trapped in your own home, and I am sorry if you felt like I abandoned you” he caressed your face and wiped some tears that had fallen without your notice.

“You did abandon us,” you said, trying to pull your hand from his grasp with your other hand protecting your belly.

“I was merely supervising the building of our new home, I was hoping I could surprise you before the baby arrived” he explained, now seating by your side “I can’t possibly ask my family to leave their home but I know how much you love that house, and so I chose to build a similar one not too far from here”

“You are building me a house?” You asked incredulously, hardly anything could justify his absence but this was in fact a reasonable explanation.

“Yes, love” he once again caressed your face “A home for our family” at that your eyes filled with tears, this time from happiness.

You sat up and wrapped your arms around his neck, crying with your face buried in his shirt. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head and shushing you softly to calm down your cries. You spent a while holding each other until he suddenly broke you two apart, remembering his family that was still waiting for you both to show up.

“My beautiful wife, I must take you out of the comforts of your bed” he began, apologetic “My family is expecting you in their home to celebrate your birthday with a lavish dinner”

“Heavens! You should’ve started with that” you ran to your door and called out for your maid “I don’t think I have a dress for such occasion, non that would fit me now, that’s certain”

You opened your trunk and began taking out your chemise and all other items you had to wear under your dress in such cold weather. You took off your nightgown not caring Anthony was there, he had seen it all before, after you had put on your chemise your maid ran in and help you put on the rest of your garments and helped you squeeze your small baby bump in the dress you had worn for one of the first balls you attended when Anthony was courting you. She put your hair in a quick updo and even managed to coerce Anthony into putting on your stockings and your shoes while she did your hair. With all that rush and hard work, you managed to be ready in under an hour and still made it to the dinner at a reasonable hour (half past 9 is reasonable, right?).

At the Bridgerton home, you were welcomed with warm embraces and merry wishes on your special day. You all sat around the table and ate the feast that had sadly grown cold. Colin didn’t seem to mind as he devoured everything in sight, prompting Violet to chastise him softly. You, however, ate small bites because the pregnancy had caused your stomach to be upset easily and you didn’t wish to offend anyone by running out of the room to empty your stomach. Anthony watched you eat and held your hand atop the table, smiling as he watched you laugh and converse with his family.

“Is the food not good enough?” Asked Violet seeing your plate almost full.

“It is just perfect, my stomach has just been iffy since the start of the pregnancy” you answered smiling apologetically, Anthony choked on his wine because he realized at that very moment that he had forgotten to tell his family about your condition.

“You’re with child? Those are wonderful news!” Exclaimed Violet with a large smile “When did you found out?”

“Four months ago” you turned to glare at Anthony “I assumed your son had told you”

“How could you conceal such joyous information from your mother?” Violet then noticed her eldest daughter had become quiet, as well as her husband “Did you know, Daphne?”

“I was aware of it, yes” Daphne admitted ashamed “I too assumed Anthony had told you”

“You assumed my eldest son had told me about his wife’s pregnancy and I had decided not to mention any of it in our letters?”

“I-I’m, yes?” Benedict and Colin snorted with laughter hearing their sister’s answer.

Violet only shook her head with a small smile, her children were truly a wonder. Anthony was nervous that you’d get mad at him for not telling them, but one look at your laughing face told him he didn’t need to worry.

Later that evening you both laid in bed after yet another passion-filled encounter, your breathing slow and even making Anthony think you were asleep. He was caressing your naked back with feather-like touches, kissing your sweaty forehead every few minutes.

“I love you” you sighed, kissing his chest “You need not feel the same, I just want you to know how I feel”

He took a shaky breath before answering.

“I also am in love with you, darling” he placed a finger under your chin and tilted your head so you’d look at him “sometimes I’m scared of just how much I love you” he kissed you slow and deep, pouring all his love into the action.

The kiss was unlike any other you had shared before, this one was full of promise and hope. It filled you with love and certainty, you were now sure that no matter how difficult the road to Anthony’s heart had been, even if you didn’t want it at first, it had all been worth it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. If you like it let me know.

Tag list:

@alaizaaa02

@awesomebooklover17

#anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton imagine #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x you #my writing #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton

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wreckmetoji · 3 years

Text

idfc

An ongoing fic in which you don't realize you have both Fushiguros at your feet.

↳ Toji Fushiguro/Reader ↳ Minor elements of Megumi Fushiguro/Reader Part 1/?

Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4

content warning. mentions of alcohol, profanity, minor angst, unrequited love, age gap, eventual smut This is part one of a several part story revolving around smut. **Minors DNI**

Length 1.5k words

A fun night resulting in a drunken mistake. That's all this was, right? The shock and humiliation upon waking up completely naked in a bed that wasn't your own is what immediately clouded your mind. Sitting up, you held your head in a desperate attempt to subdue the vicious pounding, face scrunched in pain. You had gone out for drinks with Itadori, Nobara, and Megumi, but you must have been blackout for half the evening. That's the only reasonable assumption, considering you didn't know where you were or how you got here. Really, what and how much did I drink last night? With one last squeeze of your head to get your bearings, you slowly opened her eyes, looking around the room in hopes of gathering your clothes as quickly as possible and getting the fuck out. Whoever owned this room probably didn't want their one night stand to overstay their welcome either. Wait.... You knew this room. You knew it like the back of her hand. No, no way. "Oh, you're awake." There's no fucking way. The resounding 'click' of the door closing behind the familiar figure made your stomach drop. You went pale, much to his dismay. He didn't show it. "Look, we don't... we don't have to-" "Megumi, what the fuck happened?" Deep blue eyes bore into your own, what was that look he was giving you? What was he to expect? The two of you had been attached at the hip since the end of high school, you were close, but not like this. Your panicked eyes followed his movements, watching him step towards you and sit on the edge of the bed. You instinctually pulled the dark duvet higher, making sure you were covering anything that may have been exposed. "It seems things got a little out of hand last night, I don't know how else to say this." "Did we actually, like... sleep with each other?" When he didn't say anything, didn't even react, seconds seemed to turn into minutes. 'No, I cleaned you up because you threw up everywhere. That's really why you're naked'. That must have been- "Yes." "Like, we had sex?" ".... Yes." Your head pounded in protest of the answer you didn't want to hear. He was like a brother to you, how did this happen? Megumi extended his hand, placing the pills he had brought on the bed beside you, catching the subtle shift of you pulling the blanket up higher out of the corner of his eye. "I'll give you some space. I folded your clothes, they're on top of my dresser. After you're done maybe we can... talk about this. Take your time," He exhaled the last of his sentence, standing up and leaving the room again. You hadn't ever gotten dressed that fast in your life. You didn't even bother with your bra and underwear, simply carrying them in the crook of your arm. Rushed footsteps came to a screeching halt when met with a tall broad form blocking the hallway. Toji seemed to be just as confused as you, viridescent eyes darting between your very disheveled appearance, your smeared makeup, and the undergarments you held in your hands. You couldn't tell by his expression, or lack thereof, but you made the safe assumption he came to the conclusion of what had transpired the second he saw you. "I'm sorry Mister Fushiguro, pardon me," You politely excused yourself, squeezing by him and running down the stairs. In one swift motion you had picked up your shoes, swung the front door open, and firmly closed it behind you, leaving nothing but an uncomfortable silence in the Fushiguro household. It took you a while to get home, not stopping for a second to even put your shoes on just in case someone were to run after you. You had no doubts Megumi would. The jingling of your keys, the click of the lock, and the loud slam of the door behind you is what finally set you off. The rest of your day was spent in self loathing, crying, tylenol, and regular trips in and out of the bathroom to empty the nothingness in your stomach. Only as the sun was setting, orange and dark blue painting the sky, did you decide you needed to text Megumi about what happened. That was, if you had your phone. "Are you KIDDING me?!" You grumbled to yourself, flipping over cushions, digging through the clothes you had worn last night, scouring every surface. You must have left it at his house. His room. Newfound humiliation washed over you, knowing that you would have to see him face to face. Knock knock. Jumping at the sudden sound, you looked over to the door with wide inquisitive eyes. Did Misses Kageyama lose her cat again? You tiptoed over to the door, having to stand on your toes to look through the peephole. Today is so shit, you thought to yourself, unlocking and opening your door, but not removing the deadbolt. You peered at the tall man on the other side, warily looking up at him through your lashes. "Yeah, that's the reaction I was expecting," Toji sneered, holding out a familiar cellular device. "Kid said you might want this back." You slipped your much smaller hand through the door, grabbing onto it and tugging. Once you realized he wasn't going to let go, you let out an exasperated sigh, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead on the back of the door. "How did you get past the door-man? You didn't buzz up." "I didn't give him a choice." Toji mused, the side of his lips twitching up. "So are you gonna stand here with my phone hostage all night? Or can I close my door." You were visibly agitated. He was obviously sent here for a reason, but with how amused he seemed at your grumpy exterior you couldn't imagine he was here on behalf of defending Megumi. His lack of response was all you needed, knowing how stubborn he was. One dejected sigh and adjustment of the deadbolt later, Toji was pushing himself through and headed for the kitchen. Make yourself at home, you rolled your eyes at his intrusive behavior. "He wanted to come by and give it to you, but I told him it'd probably be better if I did it," Toji explained upon reaching the kitchen island, leaning against it and patting a bar stool. Begrudgingly, you shuffle over and sit down. Toji always had a rocky relationship with his son, and you knew this. Megumi once told you to think of Toji is more of an older friend than a parental figure, since he's really not good at that. With that mindset, being around him became significantly less tense, giving you room to express yourself freely. "You looked like shit leaving the house this morning." "You can leave now." Toji put the phone down, sliding it towards you on the granite countertop. "Look, I'm not here to judge what you kids are or aren't doing, all I'm saying," He paused, eyes never leaving yours, "Is that you didn't seem very happy with your decision." "Actually, it seems like you regret it a lot." He was right. You knew he was right, if you could go back in time right now and even prevent yourself from going out with everyone, you would do it in a heartbeat. You felt disgusted in yourself, this was akin to having sex with a sibling for you. Even though you didn't say anything, the expression you held and the way you chewed the inside of your cheek spoke volumes. Toji didn't seem to miss that. "In my experience," He broke the silence, "The best way to get over regrettable sex is to have unregrettable sex." Your eyes locked with his, throat suddenly becoming dry. "Where was that keen parenting when you were raising Megumi?" You meant to sound bitter, but it came out as a whisper. He chuckled at your meek attempt to halt the conversation. He decided to ignore it. "I'm giving you a line, it's up to you if you wanna grab it or not." He leaned back over the counter as he spoke, hand coming down to your knee and inching, painstakingly slowly, up your leg. "If I know anything-" "Do you?" He gripped your thigh, it must have been hard enough to bruise, but the look in his eye was more dangerous than his hands. Instinctively, you pressed your thighs together, heart racing and God you hoped he couldn't hear it. "I'm an expert at fucking," Toji's tone dropped, viridescent eyes drinking in your flustered appearance, but stopping at where his hand was on your upper thigh. His grip loosened, gently caressing the skin there. "After I'm done with you, Megumi'll be the last thing on your mind. You want to feel good?" Everything that had happened today, all of your regrets, all your frustration, your humiliation, came crashing down on you, it fogged your mind. Toji was undeniably attractive, you've known that since the moment you met him. If you do this, there's no turning back. "What do you think?" He pressed, his hand moving up to the seam of your shorts. Fuck it. "What... did you have in mind?" The predatory grin that split his face made you surge with fear and delight, watching his scar pull taught in the most deliciously tantalizing way. "Why don't I show you?"

#toji fushiguro #toji smut #toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro smut #reader insert #jjk toji #jjk smut #minors do not interact #toji thirst #daddy toji #anime smut #anime x reader #megumi x you #megumi fushiguro

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fairyoftbz · 3 years

Text

comfort | l. sangyeon

☁ pairing: bf!sangyeon x fem!reader ☁ wc: 1.3k ☁ synopsis: you come home from work furious, and sangyeon does his best to calm you down. ☁ genre: fluff, comfort, domestic ☁ tw: swear words, y/n is angry at the world ☁ a/n: this is a self-indulgent fic because my boss fucking annoys me at work and I cba of her petty ass 🙄 oh to get comforted by sangyeon honestly... ☁ requested: no!

╰☆☆☆☆╮

“I’m fucking tired of all this shit!” you cursed as you slammed the front door shut, sending your purse and jacket flying out of pure frustration.

Locking the door in an angry movement, you got even hotter under the collar when your heels didn’t want to leave your feet, your uneven balance making you stumble on air and almost fall on the floor. Once you were finally rid of your shoes, you felt like walking on clouds, but this was not enough to reduce your wrath.

“Woah, woah, woah. Easy there, love,” Sangyeon, your boyfriend emerged from the kitchen in the corridor, blinking in confusion at your unusual angry attitude.

Your eyes were close to glowing red, steam practically going out of your ears, which was not a good sign at all. You rarely got angry, so it must have been something pretty upsetting and important to send you in a fit of rage like this one. The sight of your boyfriend made you sharply inhale as if you wanted to control yourself in front of him, trying your best to channel your anger.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Sangyeon risked asking the question, getting ready for you to yell out all your frustration at him, but he was wrong. You remained silent, chewing over your anger with a deep frown on your face, eyebrows almost touching. In all honesty, he would have preferred you screaming at the world rather than becoming as mute as a grave.

“This-” you wanted to curse out your colleague, the main reason for your anger, but remained civil, feeling like swear words weren’t even enough to get all the anger you had for her out of your body. “This fucking colleague of mine “accidentally” deleted the Excel folder I spent hours working on for our trimestral project next week. I had lunch after yelling at her and went to my boss's office after my break, only to have him blaming me for what she did!” you yelled out in a hoarse voice the rest of your sentence, emphasising the pronouns as your hands started shaking, the tears flooding your eyes immediately after a choked sob slipped past your pursed lips.

“And then,” your voice was unsteady, looking at your boyfriend through your blurry eyes, pointing the door as if your colleague was here, “when I get out of work to come home, I see those two good-for-nothing idiots flirting and swooning over the other like the fucking disgusting couple they are.”

Sangyeon breathed in deeply, brows slightly furrowed, dismayed at the situation you got unfairly put in. He placed the piece of cloth he used to dry the dishes with on his shoulder and gently approached you as if he was scared of getting rejected. Your shoulders subsided when he rested his palm on the side of your neck, his thumb gently caressing the edge of your jaw back and forth.

“Sangyeon, I’m so tired of this, I don’t know what to do,” you desperately struggled to mumble, this situation affecting you way more than you wanted, but it was hard not to. Your boyfriend rested his other hand on your shoulder, gently pulling you to him. Subconsciously, you wrapped your arms around his middle and closed your eyes, letting the tears wet his t-shirt as you tried to focus on him instead of your issue.

But it was almost impossible, this issue had you really worried. Deep down, you knew that your boss wouldn’t hesitate to fire you instead of whatever your colleague was for him, even if she was less qualified and talented than you. You should have been more careful, you should have immediately explained the problem to your boss to prevent your colleague from switching the roles and playing the victim, you should have-

“Y/N, I can hear your thoughts from here,” your boyfriend mumbled, his low voice vibrating in your chest as you were still pressed against him. Sighing heavily as an answer, you let his hand rub your back up and down, your breath uneven as you felt the anger boiling back into your veins.

Sangyeon felt you tense against him, so he pulled away and cradled your face in his hands to make you look at him. He offered you a compassionate smile, his thumbs wiping the floods of tears cascading down your cheeks. Your mouth trembled, and Sangyeon locked eyes with you, his hands travelling up your arms as he soothed you.

“Shht, darling,” he whispered as he kissed your forehead, lips lingering on your skin. Your tears redoubled at the display of affection, feeling the exhaustion instead of the anger taking over your body. He wrapped his arm around your neck, his other hand pressing against the back of your head.

“Do you want solutions or comfort?” he mumbled in your ear in a sweet voice, and you pondered his question for a few seconds, trying to collect your thoughts and shift them to something else.

He was always good at comforting you. No matter how bad or angry you felt, Sangyeon was always here to soothe you and bring you back to a calm state, that’s why you could freely let your emotions speak when he was around. Of course, he was sometimes powerless, not really knowing nor able to help, but at least he was here to listen.

“Comfort, please,” you manage to utter, and he pressed you further against his chest, his arms still embracing you tightly.

“We’ll discuss solutions when you’ll feel better and calmer, alright? Now let me make you a cup of tea,” he said, and you whined, nuzzling up to his torso as he was about to pull away. “No? You don’t want one?” he asked, and you shook your head, his arms closing back on your tired figure as he was surprised that you refused your favourite beverage.

“Don’t leave, please,” you felt Sangyeon nod and press his cheek on the side of your head, holding you tight against him.

“Alright, darling,” he seized one of your hands and rested it flat on his chest, feeling his calm heartbeat under your palm. It was something he used to do when you were stressed out, and it always managed to calm you down.

Sangyeon held you until you stopped crying, feeling your trembles come to a halt and find a normal heartbeat again. Eyes puffy and cheeks drenched in salty tears, Sangyeon tilted his head to the side and lovingly smiled at you, letting you rest your head against his collarbone out of exhaustion. Crying drained all your energy because it didn’t happen as often as it used to, but you could always count on your boyfriend to take care of you and handle the aftermath like a pro.

“Come on love, let’s get you to the sofa so I can finish preparing dinner, okay? I won’t let you go to bed with an empty stomach,” you nodded as you sat down on the edge of the couch, Sangyeon crouching down in front of you, his hands on your knees.

“What are you preparing?” you asked, your voice barely coming out of your mouth due to all your crying.

“I’m making your favourite. I figured that you had a rough day since you didn’t text me at lunch like you usually did, so I wanted to cheer you up,” he proudly smiled as he watched your eyes widen, a relieved smile drawing on your face.

“Oh my god I love you, thank you,” you mumbled, and Sangyeon softly chuckled, his hand carding through your hair as strands fell in front of your eyes. He cupped your face with his hand before gently rubbing his nose against yours, earning a smile from you.

“That’s my girl,” he whispered as he stood up, quickly bending back down to press your lips together in a soft kiss.

You offered him a grateful smile, and he winked, making his way back in the kitchen, leaving you appeased in the living room. With his hugs and support, you felt calm and collected for tomorrow, mentally ready to confront your colleague and boss for their mistakes. But for now, your focus was your boyfriend, and you couldn’t wait to spend a lovely evening with him and some good food.

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ray-ray-writings · 3 years

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Hybrid!Reader Galore-SBI (and one Awesamdude)

So I am combining four different requests with this one post because I have recently discovered that I am allowed to do that hahaha. So instead of five separate posts, it’s one big post!! I hope you enjoy!!! (There is a bonus idea at the bottom, it is not SBI, rather a Sam idea and it is so amazing and is not mine, the idea comes from our very own Sunflower anon who has my whole heart.)

Elytran

Well first things first, you guessed it. You have wings. You have beautiful wings that allow you to fly for miles and miles without getting tired. They are big and cover most of your back. When they’re not in use, they’re tucked in tightly to your back for save keeping.

You and Philza are obviously very close. You and he can relate on so many levels. You spend a lot of time bonding over your wings. You know you can always go to him when you have questions about your wings and he is always willing to give you his knowledge, tips, and tricks on how to properly take care of your wings and stuff like that. I like to imagine that the two of you definitely help each other preen your wings. He more so you though. Like if it has been too long in his opinion he will force you to sit down on a chair so that you’re straddling it and your stomach is pressed against the back of the chair and he very carefully pulls the loose feathers and gets all of the grass and leaves and stuff out of your wings. Every so often you will return the favor, but because he’s been around so long he is practically perfect at doing his own wings himself and so he usually just focuses on you because you’re his kid and he wants to make sure that you’re taken care of. He gets a lot of the preening done when you two are sitting on the couch together and you’re snuggled up to his chest and his hand is just softly trailing up and down your wings. Smoothing out your feathers and carefully pulling out the ones that need to come out. It feels very nice and is very comforting.

I also feel though that your brothers would also do this to you sometimes. Just when you’re having a conversation with one of them they will grab your shoulders and turn you around and you would be forced to talk to them as they pick at your wings. Sometimes Tommy is too rough and so he can only do it when he’s absolutely calm. I 100% believe that before his death, Wilbur was the best brother to go to for help with your wings when Phil wasn’t around. He has the hands of musician, steady and gentle hands but still calloused and rough from years of plucking at a guitar. So he would be really good at being careful but also would be very good at picking out the things that needed to go while also being good at, i guess, petting your wings. I feel like Techno would be okay at it, not as good as Phil and Wilbur though. I feel like Tommy could be too rough sometimes. I feel like there are two different Techno’s you could get. A soft and gentle Techno who is very careful when messing with your wings or a rough and quick Techno that just really wants to be done with whatever you’ve asked him to do. So you would have to catch Techno on a good day in order for him to be able to properly help you.

Like Philza and Techno do, You and Philza go on adventures together all the time, only there is a slight difference obviously. You two go on flights. You two fly for hours at a time sometimes, not always have a particular destination in mind. You two just like to fly together. It’s such a freeing feeling. You two just fly together, feel the wind in your hair and your wings. The time is usually spent just chatting about anything and everything. It’s nice. You just get to spend a lot of time with your dad and you get to feel free and get to get away from all of the drama of the smp. I like to imagine that sometimes you two fly for so long that you get too tired to keep flying, but you have to get home. So Phil will pick you up, you wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, and he will fly the two of you home. He’s been alive for hundred of years and has had years of flying practice and so he almost never gets tired from flying and so he has absolutely no problem carrying you home if you’re too tired. Once you get a bit older and stuff, I also like to think that you’re able to do the same for your brothers, obviously not as long as Philza can, but you can pick them up and take them on a little flight around the server. Tommy would love it the most. He would cling to you, terrified you would drop him, but he would love being so high up, seeing everything and feeling free. He would love that he actually got to feel like a kid again. Wilbur and Techno would like it a lot less than Tommy. They would take you up on the offer every once in a while, but I don’t think they would like it that much. Like Techno would like to feel the wind through his hair and to feel free and not have to worry about anything, but I feel like he would just be hella scared that you’re going to drop him. He’s a big man and he trusts you a lot, but that doesn’t mean you’re strong enough to hold him. Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of headcanon that Wilbur is scared of heights. I don’t know why, I just kind of get that vibe from him. So like on the very very very rare occasion where you take him for a fly, he spends the whole time clinging to you for dear life with his face buried in your neck and his eyes clenched tightly closed. You can’t help but laugh at him though. You asked him about it once, why he accepts your offer if he’s so terrified, his answer warmed your heart. “I just like spending time with you. Anyway that I can.” (Complete side note, Ghostbur on the other hand would love love love love to go on flights with you. Like would beg you almost every day to go on one.)

Ghast hybrid

Listen, I am not saying this to exclude anyone okay? Please don’t take it as that, but you would be pale. You would be so pale. It’s the ghast in you and so you would be so pale. Like I feel you would almost have to wear a hat or put on sunscreen every time you left the house in the overworld because you would so easily be burned. That being said, you definitely would thrive in the nether. Like the heat and the brightness of the lava wouldn’t bother you at all as you travel through your home biome. You would also be able to fly. You would move so smoothly through the sky. You wouldn’t have wings or anything like that, you would just be able to fly. But like it would be so funny to scare the hell out of Tommy. Like you two are arguing or something or he’s just being annoying and so you just start fucking levatating as you stare him down. He would 100% shriek and run away from you causing you to laugh.

You always accompany any of the boys when they go into the nether for anything because no hostile mobs will attack if you’re nearby. Ghasts won’t shoot at you, hoglins won’t charge, blaze won’t fireball… you get it. Like the nether is your home and you are one of them, and they know that. You also are super good at navigating the nether. Think Human GPS but like half ghast GPS instead haha. You have absolutely saved the boys’ asses on more than one occasion. Like one time Techno wasn’t paying attention and he was just kind of walking around in the nether freely without thinking about it. He was going on and on about how it was nice to have you here but he probably could have handled it himself. He was right in the middle of telling you about how he probably could navigate the nether better than you when he literally walked straight off a cliff that hung right over a giant lava lake. You didn’t have time to laugh at his obliviousness. You knew that he couldn’t swim in lava, he may be a piglin hybrid that can survive the heat, but he absolutely could not swim in lava. So you very quickly ran right off of the edge of the cliff, flew down to him and just before he could sink into the lava, you grabbed him and flew him back up to the edge of the cliff. Once he was secure with solid ground under his feet, Techno would pull you into a giant hug. “Thank you,” he murmurs in your hair. You can’t help but giggle as you hug him back. “Of course. What was I going to do? Let you die? Besides, now we have prove of who’s the better nether navigator.” And Techno goes to argue but you just stare at him with a raised eyebrow and so his mouth snaps shut. You both knew you won that.

So Ghast tears right? So when you get upset to the point of crying, you do your best to keep in the tears because when you cry, they literally leave tear stains. Like your cheeks are stained and scarred for the next few hours because of the tears. It burns and is a painful thing, so you try to avoid it as much as possible. Another thing that happens when you’re upset is you begin to breathe fire and shoot fireballs out of your mouth. You accidentally discovered this once when Techno wouldn’t give you back your axe and you accidentally fireballed him into a wall, exploding parts of the wall as well. So when you get angry/upset, you clamp your mouth closed and don’t speak. That is the telltale sign that you’re angry, when you go silent. Tommy loves to push you at this point. Saying anything he can to get you to… well explode. It’s only worked once. Let’s just say that Tommy’s clothes and hair got a bit singed and he didn’t mess with you while you were upset for a few months afterwards.

Something useful about your tears is they can make regeneration potions. Obviously they aren’t full effect because you are only half ghast, but they still work. So even if you are crying and you are upset, you’re always sure to physically bottle up some of your tears when you do cry so that someone, mostly you or Techno, could make regeneration potions with them.

Raccoon hybrid

TRASH PANDAS!!!! Okay, right, sorry.

So we will begin with looks. You have little raccoons on top of your head, dark circles around your eyes, and a fuzzy black and white ringed tail. You have to take very good care of your ears and of your tail, making sure that it doesn’t get matted and stuff. I also feel you’re rather short. And sometimes you feel out of place among the absolute giants that are your brothers.

I feel like you would get along the best with Tommy. THIS IS NOT AN INSULT AT ALL but like for some reason I get a raccoon type vibe from Tommy. So I feel like you two would just vibe very well together. You’re mostly nocturnal due to your raccoon hybrid and Tommy is a 16 year old hyper boy who doesn’t like authority that much. So like he very often can be found in your room late at night. The two of you laughing and just hanging out together. If you get him on a good night, he will carefully pet your tail or brush it while you talk. You two have bonded a lot and shared a lot of sweet moments through your nocturnal nights together.

That being said, it does not stop Tommy from making fun of you. Raccoons are thought to be colorblind and Tommy knows this applies to you and does not stop making fun of you for it. “Hey Y/N! What color is this flower?” “Fuck off.” Because Tommy makes fun of you, you like to prank him a lot. Raccoons are actually very clever and this absolutely applies to you. You can move very quietly if you want so you manage to always prank Tommy really well…. That being said, you also find yourself very often ruining your own pranks because of how loud you can be. Have you ever heard a raccoon rummaging through your garbage at night? It feels like the loudest thing in the world lol. So sometimes you are accidentally careless and are very loud.

Raccoons can fall from pretty high heights without getting hurt, so you would be able to do the same. It would have been a total accident of how you found out though. You would have been helping Tommy build a random cobblestone tower when he accidentally pushed you off the tower. You didn’t have a water bucket and there was no water below you, so you literally prepared yourself for the loss of your first canon life. Your body finally hit the ground and you were left a little breathless from the force of the hit, but nothing hurt. You checked your wrist and found you had only lost one heart. Even though you were completely fine, Philza still gave Tommy hell for pushing you off the tower and grounded him for a few weeks. Even though you know you’d be fine from a big fall, you are still very careful when you’re high up. Like I said, you know you’ll be fine, but you don’t want to push the boundaries.

I feel like you have definitely been caught rummaging through the trash before. You were probably just bored and looking for something to do, or just something to play with and so on instinct, you reached into the trash and began searching through it. Philza would be the one to catch you. He wouldn’t even react too. He would simply let out a sigh, walk over to you, grab your arms and pull them out of the trash and walk you over to the sink before making you wash your hands. While you were doing that, he would take out the trash, making a mental note to get a more efficient/better way of getting rid of your trash.

Cow Hybrid

Yes yes yes yes. Okay okay. I love cows. Okay.

Starting out as always, appearance. So I think that you would have a few brown and white spots littering your skin. You’re entirely covered in them, but there are some on your arms, torso, and legs. You also have little horns that poke out of your hair. They’re a bit sensitive and your hair gets caught on them a lot, but they’re hella cute. You’re ears are where a human’s ears are, but they’re a bit bigger and a little more pink and flimsy than normal human ears. You also have a thin tail that pokes out behind you. You use it to swat things, mostly Tommy, away from you. When someone gets hit by your tail, it stings quite a bit. Your skin is rather tough, not like super tough, but like it has a rather leathery feel. So not only does it hurt when you hit people, but it can also be a bit harder for you to get hurt/cut and stuff. Which is rather nice.

Something just random but hella cute that I like to think happens is that if you’re out walking, with or without your family, baby cows will begin to follow you. If they get far enough away from their parents and you happen to be nearby, they 100% will begin to follow you. It warms your heart a little bit, but it also worries you because you don’t want to upset their parents, but the adult cows just think it’s really funny. Like, it is so obvious that you’re not a full cow and that you’re barely an adult yourself, but the baby cows will still follow you and it is just so funny.

I feel like when you get very frustrated, you begin to moo or let out huffs and puffs. The boys find it very funny, but also not to bring it up to you. One time Wilbur made the mistake of laughing out loud when you mooed…. You charged him and tackled him and broke the table. So now the boys have just learned to try and comfort you and then laugh in private.

Listen I have seen many photos and videos of cows being petted and owners sitting in fields and the cow comes over and just lays on them and cuddles them and so like I feel that a lot of the times when you would find someone sitting on the couch or something, just chilling, you would try and cuddle up to them. Tommy and Techno wouldn’t like it as much, they would give you like a pat on the back before shoving you off. Philza would chuckle but allow you to rest there. Wilbur would absolutely let you cuddle up to him and oftentimes would wrap his arms around you and hold you to him. I also feel like he would be the only one to do it back to you. If you were just seated somewhere lounging around, Wilbur would absolutely flop down on top of you, crushing you a little bit, yes, but it is still nice… not having to be the one to initiate the contact. So you would just giggle and wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face either in his curly hair or in his chest, it depends on how he flops down on top of you. Wilbur would also absolutely pet and stroke your horns and would just let you relax completely against him.

A lot of the time you can be found with a piece of hay hanging out of your mouth. I feel like you would just enjoy the taste but also just the feel of the plant on your tongue as you chew would be so comforting. Philza at first would try to take the thin straw out of your mouth but after you almost cried about it, he decided to just left it alone and let you do whatever you want. Tommy still tries to steal it from your mouth, but you’ve gotten good at chomping down on it and not letting it go. Techno gives you a little bit of a weird look but goes on about it. (It’s because he absolutely has tried it without you knowing and he hated it so much and he has no idea how the hell you keep doing it.) Wilbur I feel would be the one to help you keep your supply of it and would always get you a new one if you needed it. I feel like you would offer him one and he will sometimes accept it, but he doesn’t like it but he doesn’t want you to feel that your habits are weird so he partakes to make you feel better. Also for eating, you would love everything wheat based and would have a field day with things like that. You absolutely cannot and will not eat beef and you will not be around if anyone around you is eating it. It makes you sick to your stomach. So you don’t eat a lot of meat and you’re mostly vegetarian. Philza is more than willing to adjust his recipes to accommodate you and make sure that you’re okay at meal times.

Minecraft cows avoid going into water at about all costs, so I feel like you would do the same. You would avoid everything from stepping in puddles to swimming across the river to even having a beach day at the ocean. I think you would be fine, it’s just the floating in water and having your feet not be completely on solid ground that you hate. Your family sometimes makes fun of you for it because they have to build a bridge of some kind or craft a boat for the smallest thing of water, but in reality they want you to be comfortable and so they do everything to make it so you could have your way when it comes to the water like that. When Wilbur becomes Ghostbur, Ghostbur likes to hang out with you a lot because you’re good company but also because he knows you don’t go anywhere near water, and he’s allergic to water so it works out very well for you.

Cat hybrid w Creeper hybrid Sam

So 🌻 had this fucking amazing idea okay. Like all credit for this idea goes to her, I am but a simple writer that wrote it out a little bit more, but this was completely her idea and she has my whole heart because she has a big brain. It is praise 🌻 hours friends!

So you are the newest addition to the SMP, a cute little cat hybrid. You have cute, fluffy ears that sit on the top of your head and you have a matching fluffy tail that pokes out behind you. Everyone that has met you agrees that you’re very cute and very sweet to everyone. Everyone loves to be around you and loves to spend time with you….. Well almost everyone.

As we have learned in previous hybrid headcanons, Sam is terrified of cats. It’s the creeper in him and he feels so bad that he avoids you so admently, but he cannot help the trepidation that swells in his veins when he’s near you. He has tried to approach you several times, tried to properly introduce himself, but he just couldn’t get close enough to you to do it. Sam had definitely asked others about you though and had fallen in love with you through the other’s descriptions and through watching you from afar, trying his best not to be seen. You weren’t dumb though, you knew he was there watching you. And when he took his eyes off of you, you let your stare turn to him as well. You let yourself stare at the man that refused to approach you. You, like him, asked around about him and you learned about him through others. You learned about how passionate he was about his work, how kind he was, how he had practically adopted a few of the minors on the server, how he was such a nice guy. It made your heart ache. If he was such a nice guy, why would he only watch you from a far then? Why wouldn’t he approach you? He must hate you… Yeah that had to be it, he heard about you, watched you for a bit, and decided that he didn’t like you… It made you hella sad, but it’s just something you would have to deal with and live with…. Oh well…. Better get building your house.

Sam decided that he would try to make a move on you. He wanted to get to know you better through your own words and stuff, not just what others had to think about you. So he decided he would try to approach you while you were working on your house. Sam didn’t want to come empty handed, he figured he had already made a bad enough impression on you by not approaching you sooner, so he picks some flowers, roses and sunflowers because I’m a self indulgent bitch, and he took a few deep breaths before making his way to the plot of land that you have claimed as your own. He finds you working on the front wall of your house and he finds it very easy to approach you when you’re not paying attention to him. He is getting rather close to you, the closest he’s ever been to you and he’s really proud of himself. You must have sensed him, or heard his footsteps or something though, because your head snaps to look over your shoulder and your gaze locks with his and every single bit of confidence that Sam had worked up leaves his body. The fear of being around a cat fills him and he can’t help but let the flowers fall from his fingers and he sprints away. “Hey! Wait!” You call after him, rushing forward a bit, trying to stop him. But he’s gone so fast that you can only get to where he dropped the flowers before he’s out of sight. You can’t help but let out a sigh as you turn around. He must really hate you huh? Your eyes catch the flowers on the ground and you bend down to pick them up. Are these for you? They must be if he brought them here… Even if he did drop them on the ground to run away from you. Either way, you brought the pretty flowers to your nose and took a deep breath through your nose, inhaling the sweet scent. You can’t help the smile that curls on your face as you make your way “inside” of you under construction. You very quickly find a vase and get some water and set the flowers on a makeshift table in your house before going back to building the walls, every time your gaze catching the flowers, a grin growing on your face.

Sam berates himself when he gets back home for how stupid it was for him to just leave like that. So he tells himself he is going to go back tomorrow and at least introduce himself to you. He will speak at least three words to you. The next day comes and he does as he’s promised. He gathers all of his confidence again before making his way back to your land. He freezes just outside the property line and sees that you have constructed your walls and you are now working on your roof. Your back is to him once again and so he lets out a deep breath before deciding to make the first move. “Hi there!” He shouts from his spot, about 25 blocks away from you. Your attention moves from what you were doing to the man that called out to you. You were very surprised to find Sam standing there. “Hi! Can I help you with something?” You call back. Sam takes a deep breath, happiness filling him at the fact you were actually having a conversation and he wasn’t running. “I uh, I just wanted to introduce myself to you. I’m Sam, it’s very nice to meet you.” You give the man a warm smile, “I’m Y/N. It’s very nice to finally meet you Sam… I must admit, I thought that maybe you hated me because you seemed to avoid me like the plague,” you tease, moving a few materials around before sitting down to face him. A blush that you can’t see spreads across his face as he scratches the back of his neck as he subconsciously takes a few steps forward. “Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t hate you… It’s just that you’re a cat hybrid and my creeper side doesn’t like that very much. I’m sorry I made it seem like I hated you.” It all made so much sense to you now and you couldn’t help but feel bad for feeling that he hated you. “Oh!” You let out, laughing at yourself causing Sam to smile, he liked your laugh. “That’s right… I forgot that. Well, I’m sorry I scare you” you claim with a giggle. Sam gives you a slight smile as he takes another few steps forward, “It’s alright, not your fault. Just both of our natures,” Sam claims eliciting a hum out of you as you nod your head.

The two of you take the next few minutes to get to know each other just a bit better. Even though you scare him still a little bit, Sam can’t help but inch his way toward you. You notice this but don’t say anything about it, you only smile.

Sam is telling you about his latest redstone project when it happens. You momentarily forget your on your roof and so you move to lean in closer to hear him better and it happens. You slip. You feel yourself falling from your roof. It’s pretty high up, easily at least 15 blocks high. You’re pretty relaxed about it, but Sam is panicking. He makes the split decision and he rushes forward and catches you in his arms. Half of his mind is screaming for him to run away from you by the other half is screaming for him to stay and make sure you're okay. You are very surprised to land in his arms but it is a very welcome surprise. You two lock eyes and you give him a big smile. “Hey” you greet casually. Sam gives a big gulp before giving you a nervous smile back, “Hey.” You have a very quick mental debate with yourself before saying screw it to yourself, “Guess you could say I fell for you huh?” The joke causes a bit of tension to leave Sam and he lets out a little giggle and shakes his head. “Guess you could say I caught feelings then huh?” he retorts with a cheesy grin. You blush a little bit before leaning up and kissing his cheek making him blush too. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” Sam blurts out. You’re a bit surprised at the question but you very quickly nod, “I would love to Sam. Are you sure you’ll be okay though?” You ask him. He gives you a reassuring smile and nod. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Now that I know what it’s like to hold you I’m not sure I ever want to let you go.” The heat returns to your cheeks, but like a million times hotter now. You left speechless for a few moments causing Sam to chuckle and set you down, but his hands don’t leave your waist and yours don’t leave his shoulders. You two simply beam at each other for a while before Sam looks over to your house, “Do you want some help?” he offers. You give a series of quick nods, “Yeah that would be wonderful… Thank you.”

(So I was going to make it a little funny because cats don’t take fall damage and so like hybrid cat reader wouldn’t either but then I began writing the little scene at the end and I liked that a lot and I couldn’t find anywhere to squeeze it in without ruining the mood. So just please think about how Sam got over his fear of cats because he thought you were in danger of getting hurt, but you weren’t because fall damage doesn’t affect you, and so he caught you even though it terrified him… That’s all. Hope you enjoyed)

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happyselves · 3 years

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Budapest { Lando Norris x reader one shot }

Breaking up sucks as it is, but to be dumped in an airport where you were going to a grand prix of formula 1 was worse … It was both of your dreams and he renounced it because of insecurities toward you. Admitting a “mistake” he had made with one of your commun friends, sleeping with her. You had to think fast in that airport, either you leave and go live one of your dreams or you step out of his place and go back home and cry for weeks. The answer was quickly found. You leave him and his baggage, not turning your back, deciding to not cry for the asshole you had spent so many time building a life he had destroyed in a snap of his fingers.

However the grand prix didn’t happen how you wanted it to. You had not really thought of him, too busy with the environment around you, sharing for your favorite drivers, freely wearing his merch that you had bought because you didn’t have any reason not to know that you didn’t have someone telling you off. Your now ex used to hate when you were showing your obsession and fascination toward the young driver that was Lando Norris. The dit driver had a great start but all his effort went in vain when the Mercedes driver hit the back of his car and ruined his race, forcing him to retire.

At first you didn’t know how to react, but when you saw him on the big screen in front of you, all the sadness and frustration and all the anger and hatred toward your ex boyfriend was transferred to this. You wanted to leave right away, but you stay, to support your team because Daniel Ricciardo was still in the race. You cheered as much as you could, exhausting yourself mentally and physically but it wasn’t enough and the number 3 car was too damaged to reach the point in the head. It was a shame, but that is the hard law of this sport. After this terrible race you had no heart in celebrating the win for Ocon even if you were extremely happy for him, so you went back to your hotel and went to bed.

The next day was quiet and you spent time in the city, you didn't feel great so you just walked through the city and visited stuff … alone. This time no crowd and loud car could distract you from your own thoughts. Your ex boyfriend was all you could think about now. The memories you had together, the dog, the apartment. By leaving and not facing it you were pushing the moment and you knew it will hurt even more next time you will have to face him.

It was the evening and it was getting cooler, you get your merch hoodie out of your bag and wear it. You find a nice spot on a bench in front of the river crossing the city and you put yourself in a cocoon, your legs closed to your chest and your head on your knees, hugging yourself for comfort as you watch the sunset. The tears came on their own, you were lost in your thoughts and you didn’t notice the man sitting next to you. You were so lost that you were now hearing Lando talking to you in your brain.

“You know it’s a pretty spot to watch the sunset, but not alone,” You puff a quick laugh, even your own mind was making stuff up and you didn’t know why, but you were ready to have a full conversation with yourself. At least your brain was nice enough to create someone that looked like your favorite driver. “ That’s funny, I’m that desperate that I’m talking to myself now, great, next stop the psy,” you weren’t waiting for any response, but you got one anyway. “ Well maybe your brain isn’t making this up ?” Another sound came out of you, were you ready to have a full argument with your own self. “ It wouldn’t be the first time I’m daydreaming about a handsome man talking to me out of nowhere, but I know my luck, why do you think I got dumped just before going on vacation ? I’m nothing … “ You were resigned, the tears kept falling and the pain kept coming. “ Well then he is an idiot, to let a beautiful woman, with great taste may I have, go. This man is obviously blind.” You had a great imagination to be able to hear Lando’s voice so clearly in your head that it felt like he was just next to you.

You turn your head toward what you thought the voice was coming from and there he was, sitting next to you, looking at you with fondness. Damn you really needed help if even your blurry eyes by the wet tears could recreate his whole body and face in front of you.

At any point you thought it might be true even if you were both in the same city, the odds were too big and he would probably be in his hotel room by now enjoying some games with his mates on his computer or watching netflix.

“ That’s not fair that you create this for me, I do not deserve to have such a beautiful daydream like this, seeing him this weekend from afar was one thing but to now trick me and build this masquerade in my mind to ease my pain, that’s really new brain.” You were feeling crazy and you were trying not to sound like one, you were talking to yourself and you were scared that others will think of you as someone with less sanitary than an average human being.

Yet, your fake Lando get closer to you and start touching your arm, you didn’t even flinch when you sense his touch, you know you wouldn’t be able to feel anything because if one thing you learn is that touching isn’t a sense the brain is capable of reproduction to the perfection in your brain when you are dreaming. Then why were you feeling it, why suddenly his touch felt so reassuring and real. You blind repeatedly trying to wake yourself from this sweet dream you were living because this couldn’t be real and it was starting to feel scary.

Lando didn’t move his arm from you even if you tried to gently push him away and put some distance back between you. You weren’t certain this wasn’t reality anymore because as you took his arm, you felt him, your grip on him was real. You lock your eyes on him, focusing on every detail of this creation in your own mind. You knew the shirt he was wearing and the shorts as well, you knew how he looks after running as well so that was a normal thing, but every little detail of him only a person being super close to him could imagine, that you had never experienced and yet here everything was here in front of you. He never felt so him and so real in the flesh. Your fingers found the scruff on his chin and felt the small hair tickling your palm.

That’s where you realise … Lando Norris was in front of you, in the flesh as real as you wear. You come back right back to your senses when you see the sunset and keep drawing beautiful colors in the sky. Lando was amused by the situation, you weren’t.

“ Oh sleeping beauty is coming back from the daydream ?” Somehow he arranges a lock of hair missing on your face, putting it behind your ear. You jerk at the touch now knowing that you were imagining things. You stand up quickly and try to avoid him, walking like a lunatic in front of the bench right to left. “ You know, you are the first fan I've met that acts like this, quite refreshing. “ You stop and track and look at him, really look at him.

“ How do you know I am a fan of yours ?” If this wasn’t the dumbest question you had ever asked, you didn’t know how to be more embarassing of yourself.

“ Well at first I wasn’t really sure, then I saw you on that bench, curl up in a small little ball wearing my hoodie merch, then you basically confirm it when you thought I was a pure product of your imagination,” You were hiding your face now, you bet your cheeks were red. You were mortified to ever have thought you were this desperate that your brain could be creating him, but even more when you knew he had to witness that.

“ I’m sincerely sorry, I ruined your evening run, “ You were apologizing to him, ready to take your bag and run away from this situation, to forget everything that happened. It wasn’t the best timing for you to meet one of your idols, that’s not how you had imagined things to go if one day you would have the courage to try and meet him.

As you tried to take your bag, he stopped you and took your arm. It was like the first, but this time all you could think about was the butterflies appearing in your stomach. Lando was the only person you could dump your boyfriend for … your ex-boyfriend. Before you had time to dive in your thoughts once more he spoke to you.

“ Please don’t go, I should be the one apologizing, I let you think you were insane because I was amused and you’ve made my day to be honest. I felt less alone. “ He was brutally honest suddenly and your heart shattered even more, making your recent break up put on the second plan, focusing on the man in front of you only.

It’s true that you didn’t notice at first, but he was looking tired, not only physically but mentaly. He brings you closer to him, silently asking you to sit where you were in the beginning.

You were both smiling to each other and without any of you being able to control it you end up talking a long time on that bench, not realising it was now dark. Only when Lando’s phone buzzed did you both realise that you had been exchanging your deepest secrets to each other, telling each other's life like you were best friends finding their way back to each other. You even forgot he was a famous racing driver at some point, not caring much because you were now truly seeing the man behind the helmet and you like him even more.

You sense a sort of sadness when he picks up his phone to respond to his manager. Of course they were worrying, he told them he was gone for half an hour, not three hours. You thought he would lie about where he was, being cheeky and keeping his privacy and you were ready to take that small hit behind your head that you bring you both back into your respective life, otherwise he surprised you once more by being honest and telling his manager the truth. He was smiling at you and his eyes were glued on your face with that same fondness you thought your brain had made up earlier. He hanged up and his body turn toward you.

“ So as you can guess I have to go, but I have the feeling that if I don’t ask to come with me, it would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life, so … “ He was scared to continue, evaluating the reaction on your face, but he must have seen something in you that confirmed something in him and made him continue, “ I’m not applying anything, it’s to talk obviously, but would you like to accompany me to my hotel and maybe see each other again ? I’m leaving wednesday night, of course you can refuse I wouldn’t take it bad”

Two choices were now in front of you and you could only choose one. The first one was obviously saying no and going back to England where you are from and facing the hard reality of your ex and the second one was to push your plane ticket to next wednesday and spend time with him. There was actually nothing to think about as you simply said yes to him and followed him to his hotel that night. You didn’t do anything, only talking and even meeting the whole team. You tried your best not to fangirl like a teenager but you couldn’t help yourself showing the admiration you had for everyone of them and they already knew with the hoodie you were wearing anyway. That night was one of the best in your life, you talk all night in his room and end up falling asleep on his chest. It is the first time since you’ve been alone that you finally find peace in your sleep and truly rest and somehow you felt it was the same for him. This is why he asks you to stick around with him, even for the Pirelli test. You were not only living your dream now, but you were living it with him and it was even better. You felt lucky and you were now wondering what would have happened if you had not gone to that place and kept those grand prix tickets. You could care less, Lando made you forget all the pain this ex of yours had afflicted you for the past week. You had fun and everyone was so welcoming and nice to you, explaining everything around the paddock, you even found yourself laughing with Daniel Ricciardo at some point during the day.

The looks you send to each other on the other hand were far from being only friendly, there were something more. Your body was acting on its own and he was so receptive to it. Everyone in the garage could sense something that both of you were ignoring, but they were polite enough not to make a word of it or tease the young driver for it. You were secretly thanking them to not make this moment awkward, you were already still thinking you were in a deep dream or coma, not wanting to wake up just yet.

The day went fast and ended up in a nice dinner in his room, still talking and joking. At some point it was the second night in a row you fell asleep on him, while watching something on tv. It really wasn’t your type to trust a stranger even if this one was famous and you “ knew him “. You didn’t want to live dangerously,but for sure that difficult time ahead of you was making you enjoy the best of life without thinking about the next day.

Lando was stroking you slowly as he was finishing the movie you were watching before you found Morphee, kissing your head before turning everything off and joining you in dreamland as well.

You were sure the people at your own hotel were wondering where you were,and when the next day you finally came back to it, Lando quickly behind you, you could swear you had seen a smirk flashing on the front desk woman’s face. You hadn’t expected the man next to you to find a way and arrange the plane ticket you had to take for going home, to be weirdly the same plane as him and the seat next to him. You both didn’t really want to come back to reality and go to your respecting mundane life just yet.

The last day was as good as the day before other than that bittersweet feeling you had depe down, not wanting to let this go just yet. You didn’t know how you could enjoy this little bit of life he had show you, you were already addicted to this lifestyle, to that travel, hotel and paddock life, this crazy life of him and most important you knew how fucked you were because you realise soon enough that you were already addicted to him quite simply.

Both of you were staying quiet about your soon departure from each other and until the last moment you didn’t aboard the subject, but every good dream had a end and it’s on that parking lot when you saw the whole team leaving one by one to find their car that you realise it was the end of his fairy tale. Lando had held your hand tight the whole time, you were ready to let it go and leave this mind forever when he decided otherwise and asked you where you were going tonight now that you weren’t with your boyfriend. You hadn’t thought of that of course you hadn’t, how can you think about this when this beautiful and genuine nice man in front of you had replaced as quickly as he came in your life all your thoughts. It’s like he knew right away and didn’t let you answer, your luggage was already in the lack of his car with him and you were both driving to his place. Every woman would be afraid, why weren’t you that was the question.

“ I’m not ready to let you go, I don’t want to, “ That what he said to you as he pull his car in front of his house before adding up, “ I don’t even think I will be able to let you go ever in the rest of my life, “ You didn’t know what to say to that, you were only focusing on him, only him and the only thing you could think about right now was the close that damn gap between you two and kiss him. So you did and it was even more beautiful that the fireworks on national day, the butterflies in your stomach were moving so much that you could feel yourself flying except you were still in this car with him, his hands in your hair, messing the already messy bun you had for travelling, savoring every bit of your lips for the first time, like it was the last. When you finally pull away from each other to catch your breath, your forehead finds him.

“ I’m not going anywhere. “

MASTERLIST

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 3 years

Text

Broken Trust, pt.4

Part one // Part two // Part three

Summary: Time passes, but certain things don’t change. In light of their emotions, both make a choice that will inevitably lead them to one another - for better or worse.

Warnings: angst (my apologies), fluff sprinkled on top

a/n - It’s likely the last one before the finale, so settle in and get some tissues.

========================

Y/N swore she’ll never be so stupid, so naïve, so helpless ever again when she left the orphanage. She swore she’d be stronger, for herself and Mal, yet she found herself in the very same position.

Mal returned to her side, alive unlike what she believed. In a way, Aleksander couldn’t take away the one person she had left and a small part of her loved him more because of it. Mal wrapped his arms around her, aware nothing he says would do them any good as she began to cry. She didn’t want to, she didn’t want anyone to see her weakness for the man she’s supposed to hate. She couldn’t help it, though. She felt utterly alone and helpless. She felt like her mind and heart are breaking into two – one meant to love Aleksander and the other meant for hate.

Her screams echoed long into the night, filled with raging despair and the sorrowful betrayal she had been a victim of. After all, it’s those we love who hurt us most and she didn’t break quietly. It felt like every atom of her being screamed in unison, traumatized by all the things she kept inside since she was a child. She thought she was safe with Aleksander, that she could entrust her heart and soul to him. And she could, but she’d have to sacrifice who she is in return and she caught herself wishing she could. Y/N wished she could shed that part of herself that saw the world as black and white, to see it in the same shade of grey Aleksander did, but she couldn’t.

When the wracking sobs passed, she cried in such a desolate way that Mal couldn’t bear to listen for long.

“We need to go”, Mal whispered, looking around anxiously. They’ve stayed for too long, her cries have been too loud. He could feel it in his bones, if they didn’t leave, something sinister would happen. “Please, Y/N.”

Mal attempts to help her up, but she sinks to her knees. Her entire body is trembling, inconsolable. Y/N found herself robbed of her ability to love and trust, not only others but herself for her heart had lied to her mind who trusted the muscle blindly. It’s much more painful than a simple betrayal – she would have taken a dagger to the heart much kinder than what he had done to her.

And she hated him with burning passion for leaving now. If he persisted, she wasn’t certain if she’d be capable of resisting him much longer. But he left. He told her he loves her, her told her he would be kind to her and then he left her for trying to save his soul.

“If we do not leave now, we will be killed!” Mal raises his voice and she flinches, snapping out of her thoughts. She stands, her tears glistening in the faint light of the moonlight above them. Nodding, she walks with Mal, refusing to wipe the tears away.

She might not be like Aleksander, she might not share his darkness, but she is too proud to surrender, too proud to bend, too proud to lose. If he wants to make war instead of love, she’ll give it to him.

“How do I look?” Y/N raised her eyebrows, hands on her hips as she twirled.

Her cheeky smile acted like a wrecking ball for the wall the Darkling erected long ago, meant to keep the light out. He cultivated his darkness, convinced it would give him all his heart desires, yet the sight of Y/N struggling to stand with his kefta engulfing her the same his arms would if they embraced, it had rendered him speechless.

Y/N’s smile falters in the silence, her eyebrows furrowing as a frown crinkles her forehead. “Should I not have done this?”

The disappointment in her voice forced Aleksander to act, shaking his head while sending her a disarming smile.

"No, it's fine. I just didn't expect you to wear my clothes."

On any given day, she’d be blushing at the sight of his smile. His smile had healing properties as far she was concerned, but today wasn’t an ordinary day and her nerves made her particularly sensitive. Pursing her lips, she attempts to fold her arms with the extra fabric making it much harder, while casting her gaze to the ground. “You don’t like it.”

Raising his eyebrows, his smile grows. He comes closer, placing his index finger under her chin to tilt her head, properly meeting her gaze. "On the contrary", he speaks slowly and clearly, "I find you irresistible."

If she didn’t know any better, Y/N would have guessed he was the Sun Summoner with the way his glowing smile set her alight.

Licking her lips drew his attention, his eyes flickering down momentarily. It seemed like such an innocent moment, but it was enough to make her hands shake in anticipation.

Sighing, Y/N forces her eyes open. While she kept Aleksander out of her mind during the day, the nights favored his memory. It had been an almost that came to her dream, their almost first kiss when she had been in Little palace for a full month – she remembers because he made the dinner all about her presence.

No matter how hard she tried to let it go – to let him go, she always found herself clutching her chest in the morning. She wondered if she ever crossed his mind, almost a year since they’ve parted. Does his heart ache the same? Is that why she had hardly heard anything of him?

Her mind conjured up the worst, most painful explanations in the lonely nights. She wondered if he ever truly loved her and if he had, where had the love gone?

Can a person just stop loving someone? Did Aleksander Morozova finally stop loving her?

She wanted to stop loving him, but she couldn’t. She found herself making up excuses in his place to cover up the mistakes he’s made. In this distance that was freezing her soul and collapsing her heart, Y/N’s sole wish was to meet with her darling Darkling again. But she couldn’t travel to Little palace with the knowledge that he likely didn’t want her there or that he’d still further his plans despite her wishes. She’d have been by his side if he truly wanted her with him.

If he loved her enough, he wouldn’t have deceived her.

If he loved her enough, he would have helped her destroy the fold.

If he loved her enough, he would be here to reassure her instead of letting her question everything.

“I can do this”, she whispered under her breath, reassuring herself. She spent so many months trying to conjure up enough light and maintain enough control for it to seem Aleksander wasn’t wrong about her.

She wanted to make him proud, to draw him in with her light ever since he named her Sunshine. It’s silly, but the endearing name passing his lips made her insides quiver and she was prepared to do anything to hear it again. After all, if she does spectacularly well during an evening where she’s the main attraction, she was certain he’d see her as the only woman in the world.

Yet, as she makes her first few steps into the room, Y/N realizes she was wrong. She hasn’t done anything yet, but his eyes are chained to her regardless. The way he’s looking at her now makes her feel as if she is the only woman in the world that matters.

She saw his chest rise as he drew breath, then he was coming toward her, moving with his usual predatory grace and the intimidating flare. She wasn’t sure which she found more unnerving the intimidating Darkling or the graceful General.

"We are matching", she presses her lips to suppress an excited smile creeping up on her. She didn't expect his kefta to match hers despite his request to wear it. For Y/N, it felt strangely intimate, but she welcomed intimacy as long as it was with him.

“You look stunning”, he breathes out, a handsome smile appearing on his lips as he holds out his hand for her to take.

She doesn’t hesitate, awestruck by the twinkle in his dark eyes.

“They tell me you refused the gloves”, he raises his eyebrows.

Lifting her shin up, she smirks, “Have faith in me.”

Leaning in, Aleksander’s nose brushes her earlobe, “I never said I don’t.”

Helping her up on the stage, Aleksander stepped before her. She could hardly focus on his words, staring at his broad shoulders as they entirely shielded her from curious glances. He eclipsed her long enough for nerves to subside and she was grateful.

“You still think you’re ready?” Mal settles beside her, lips pressed as he looks at her disheveled state.

Clearing her throat, she nods, “I’ve never been stronger.”

“I know, but if you need more time –“, Mal begins, but Y/N’s irritated glare shut him up.

“We head to the fold today.” Taking a sip of her water, Y/N stands, intent on going into the woods.

“You love him”, Mal’s words stop Y/N in her tracks. “I know you do. It’s why you suffer so much in his absence.“

Swallowing thickly, she exhales through her nose to stop herself from saying anything she might regret. There’s a reason she refused to speak about Aleksander with Mal, with anyone if she could help it. Other than occasionally asking around if he’s been seen, Y/N had kept him out of her mouth. Mal couldn’t understand her feelings, he never would. She knew it to be true.

Aleksander is still an active heartache she couldn’t heal with time nor practice. Truth be told, she wanted him with her all the time. She wanted him there to cuddle when she’s on the brink of breaking, for him to whisper sweet nothings in her ear and remind her she’s loved. She wanted him there when she bathes to splash water in each other’s faces like children, to hear him gasping for air when he laughs so freely like nothing had ever gone wrong between them.

She is his. Despite the way things started, she was truly his and no amount of denial will ever change that. Unable to form words, Y/N closed her eyes as her face contorted. Her lips pressed together to hold in a sob and her head hurt from all the pressure building up in her attempt to stop herself from falling apart. But she couldn’t. There were no walls left inside her to hold the hurt encased from her mind any longer. She was shattering after nearly a year and a half of being strong – silent as she missed him, as she loved him, as she defended him from herself.

Meanwhile, in Little palace, Aleksander sat in her old room with her blue kefta in hand. He brings it up to his face, inhaling the faded scent in hope of remembering the warmth mere traces of her scent could evoke. He missed the smell of her hair when he buried his face in her neck, the gentle touch of her skin, the sweetness of her lips.

"May I ask for a dance?” He asked her with a half-smile, surprised she seemed reluctant to take his hand after her demonstration. “I won't bite”, he winks, making her roll her eyes and giggle simultaneously.

“I can hardly dance”, she admits, nibbling on her lower lip mercilessly.

Taking her hand with his right hand, he brought her closer with his left hand on her hip. She gasps, caught off guard as she looks at him with amusement.

He raises an eyebrow, suppressing a chuckle as he begins to sway her from side to side.

"When I first saw you, I couldn't get over how breathtakingly beautiful you are.” Aleksander tells her, the softest smile adorning his lips and she wished she could just reach out and touch them to see if they feel just as soft as they look. “I tried to stop you from leaving because I was bewitched by you, but then your light came out and I couldn't believe how lucky I was."

Inhaling sharply, she stared at him with lips parted in uncertainty. “So you’d say you care for me?”

Sighing heavily, Aleksander leaned his forehead on his palms, realizing not much work would be done as her face is all he thinks of, all he sees. The night he walked away, he finally saw what his love had brought her – pain and suffering. He took all she was and picked her soul apart until she was left void of love, of hate, of all emotion. After so many lifetimes, the Saints answered his prayers and sent him a dream encased in a good woman, to love and to care for and he had ruined her.

Loneliness was a punishment too kind for his awful actions.

He thought what would have happened if he had given her the truth before – had he told her what he knew, but also what he kept from her. Maybe she’d understand, maybe she would have stayed. Would their bond grow stronger?

It couldn’t be worse than it is now.

That’s his fault as well.

Pressing his lips together, Aleksander closed his eyes for a moment. “I’d say you’re the light of my life and I never want to see it dim.”

Dipping her, his lips pause at her throat and he could feel the exact moment her breath halted, caught right below his lips. He could feel her quiver, gripping his arm strongly but not out of fear of being dropped, but from a need to be closer.

Bringing her upright, he had no more desire to remain among the people where every action is judged, controversial. He wanted to take her somewhere where he could just be Aleksander, more than the Darkling they branded him as.

“Want to go somewhere more private?” She tilts her head ever so slightly to glance at the grand entry door, waiting for his response. He couldn’t believe how easily she read his mind.

Instead of speaking, he simply pulls her toward the door, feeling as if he had been given a chance to do what he never thought was possible – live. To live and possibly love.

Once they entered his room, closest to them from the reception, Aleksander stopped. He turns to her with a smirk, his hand still holding onto hers. His fingers curl around it gently, encasing it. Slowly, he brings the hand up to his lips, leaving a feather light kiss on her wrist while her cheeks darkened.

Y/N couldn’t ignore the smile upon his lips. Smiles are supposed to be soft and inviting, but his is charming and deadly. She knew he had captured her heart and no matter what she does, he’s rooted deep inside her. He’ll always run through her veins, even if they part.

Problem is, she didn’t mind it. Not at all.

She could feel her lips tingle, parting in need. All she wants is to press her lips against his, close her eyes and take him in. She didn’t care about her previously established beliefs, she’d burn them all down for a single kiss. Barely holding onto who she was before she met her sweet Darkling, Y/N cups his cheek.

His eyes are alight with desire and craving he’s been suppressing for a long time, intoxicating her, captivating her.

Her hand moves to the back of his neck, pulling him down and he complies. His forehead rests on Y/N’s, the tip of his nose brushing hers while her fingertips grasp at the short hair at the back of his head. He’s breathing heavily, his eyes closing, so she allows herself the comfort of closing her own while bridging the distance between them.

She presses her lips firmly onto his and the world melts away. His hand clasps gently into the back of her hair, pressing in softly. His lips are softness, passion, the promise of the sweetness to come.

Pulling back for a air, she hears the breathless chuckle accompanying his dashing smile.

“That was a perfect kiss”, she pecks his lips once more and he feels his heart stop. At a loss for words, he blinks a couple of times, seeing her lips curve into a small smile.

“Don’t go shy on me now, Sunshine.”

Aleksander remembered how they made love that night, leisurely, savoring each other’s bodies until their passion mounted. He thought about all the times she had given herself to him willingly and yet it felt like he was the one who gave her small pieces of himself each time. He loved not knowing what to expect with her for she was never the same twice. One time she would be quiet and sensual, the next aggressive and demanding. At other times she would be laughing and teasing. But no matter how she was, he loved loving her. Even the thought of touching her excited him.

She drove him mad, but she also showed him what it means to love someone. She could have killed him at any given moment had it been her true desire, just as he could have done the same to her and yet he couldn’t. Even thinking about someone hurting her upsets him.

Y/N could have stayed or killed him, he’d be fine with either way. At least then he wouldn’t suffer alone. She let him go so easily that he couldn’t help but think her love was never his. He wished he didn’t resent her for it, because a part of him wished she’d let him go long before, he wished for her to go far away from him where she’d be happier.

In his eyes swam ghosts of regrets and self-loathing, for he could have done a lot of things much better, made her life much easier. He could have been a better choice for her, a happy ending she’s deserving of. But he had already messed everything up and it is easier to have her see him as the bad guy.

She’d let him go easier.

“General?” Ivan paused in the doorway, aware no one’s allowed in Y/N’s room and he valued his life greatly, far too much to dare take another step.

Swallowing thickly, Aleksander remained on the bed while the Darkling rose to his feet. He had been planning for too long, hiding away from what needs to be done. It was time to act and the Darkling’s mind is made up.

“We’re heading to the fold today.”

PART 5

#the darkling x reader #the darkling #aleksander morozova #general kirigan #shadow and bone #aleksander x reader

454 notes · View notes

the-winter-spider · 3 years

Text

Element Part 3

Pairings: Bucky x reader

Warnings: talk of possible suicide, depression, angst

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: This parts shorter than i would like but i wanted to get it up, i already started part 4 before i finished this one. Once again i didnt proof read, or edit i will do that eventually lol

I also do a lot of perspective jumps, its just the way i like to write, sorry

Part one Part two

—

It was coming up 3 weeks since the incident and you still had not woken up yet, it was worrisome because of how long your heart was stopped for but there was brain activity and Bruce kept assuring everyone this was a good sign and you would wake up soon, when your body was ready of course. Bucky felt like a shell of who he was or could have been with you if he had done things differently, god he wished he had done things differently. You were the first and only person besides Steve that made him not only feel at home but helped him find a way to be at peace with his past and the things he had done and yet he let you slip right through his finger tips. If he tried harder and didn't just give up and wallow in his own heartache when you were pulling away from him, and tried to get through to you, to let you know you weren’t alone and he was still there for you, instead of laying in that bathtub cold and alone you could have been laying in his arms safe and warm.

One of Bucky's favourite things about you was you didn't mind silence, you weren't scared of it, some people couldn’t stand the silence that trudged behind him, it made them feel uncomfortable, at least that's what Sam told him when he was explaining to Bucky why some of the agents left when he entered the room it wasn't because of who he used to be and what he had done in the past it was because the silence followed him and it was deafening but you didn't leave when he entered a room you gravitated towards him.

You and Bucky were laying out on a blanket just under the plum tree, it was your spot. Ever since you gifted it to him you spent a lot of your free time underneath it with him, you both enjoyed being outside especially after years and years of being kept locked away, you took advantage of it, and Bucky didn’t care where you spent time together as long as you were there he was always down. It was dark outside, the stars were shining so bright, the night sky was so clear.

You were laying side by side, Bucky's left arm resting under his head, his right arm laying by his side, resting on top of yours, his thumb lightly rubbing circles on your hand, it was silent both of you just enjoying each other's presence.

“y’know when hydra first kidnapped me, after all those years inside, being tested and experimented on I never thought I'd ever see the sky again” You spoke freely, knowing Bucky was the only person who could relate to you.

“They never let you leave?”

You rolled over laying on your side, using your arm to prop your head up, Bucky moved, copying your position. “No, not till they were sure they succeeded in this” you lifted up your hand growing vines between your fingers. “Its weird to think we were there at the same time at some point”

Bucky sat up “I don't know why I never realised that before” he spoke looking stunned.

Pushing yourself up, this time you copied how Bucky was sitting, you laughed “Don't worry, me either not till Tony brought it up” you reached out grabbing his hand, lacing your fingers “I just wish, that they knew you were there to, its not fair that you had to go through all that, when they were right there, if I would have known, I -“ You didn't even realise you were starting to tear up till Bucky cut you off, you felt both his hands, cold and warm on either side of your face.

“woah hey, hey, y/n look at me”

Your eyes met his blue ones “Im sorry, i, i got carried away there” you laughed “Full moon” you gestured to the night sky.

He gave you a small smile “Everything happens for a reason”

You placed your hand on top of his metal one that was resting on your cheek still “You cannot use my own saying to try and consol me” you giggled

“I can't? i didn't know that was a rule”

“Well it is now”

Before you knew it you were an inch apart, you could feel his warm breath on your face, your eyes met his and his ocean blue eyes were looking between yours and your lips, you felt his lips lightly touch yours, barely a graze before someone's voice broke you both out of this trance you were in.

“We have a mission, Tony needs both of you on it, Suit up”” Steve's voice came booming from just beside the plum tree.

You shot up “Yes Cap” you walked past Steve, not bothering to look at either of the men, it was dark but you're sure your cheeks were glowing such a bright red that they could see it.

Bucky watched you walk away, he grunted before getting up, making his way to Steve who had this stupid grin on his face, shoving him as he walked by “You’re a punk”

Steve tossed his head back with laughter before throwing his arm over his best friend’s shoulder “Jerk”

—

He almost never left your room, Steve had to force Bucky to eat, sleep and shower, he would make jokes about how bad he stunk and that should have woke you up, normally Bucky would laugh at a joke like that but this was you and this wasn’t a normal circumstance. Steve finally made Bucky go shower for the 3rd time since the incident, that's what everyone had been referring to what happened that night, because no one truly knew what you were thinking if it was an accident or if you meant for that to happen, so they were not jumping to conclusions but Bucky felt it was obvious. Bucky didn't say a word when Steve suggested that he should go have a shower and change his clothes for the week, Bucky just kept his eyes on you before he nodded “C-can you stay? So someone is here if she wakes up?” Bucky’s voice was quiet and hoarse, Stunned that his oldest friend said something “Of course Buck” Steve made his way to where Bucky was sitting, taking over the spot Bucky hesitantly gave up.

3 minutes went by and Steve already felt bored, he loved you, you were one of his best friends, you were family but just sitting here listening to the rhythmic beeping, watching your chest rise than fall, he felt like he could be doing more, he had no idea how Bucky sat here day in and day out but deep down he knew it was because his best friend was in love. Steve decided to ask FRIDAY to call Bruce to y/n room.

Bruce came around the corner looking panicked his eyes darted towards you, still laying in bed, his eyes moved to meet Steves, who was standing in the corner of the room looking at your monitor. “Why can't we give her something to wake her up again?”

“Because Steve it could shock her whole system and with her abilities, who knows what kind of chaos that would cause we -“

Tony cut Bruce off entering your room “We also don't know what state she would be in, better to let her do it on her own, if she will”

Steve signed knowing the answers already, everybody already asked that question but it was starting to get hard seeing both his best friends like this, you looked peaceful laying there but at the same time Steve could see sadness written all over your face just like he could see pain all over Bucky’s. He knew Bucky blamed himself for what happened even though he had no control over it.

“Now next time you call me to this room, at least give FRIDAY some context, you almost gave me a heart attack” Bruce muttered walking out

Tony turned to look at Steve “You made the doc mad, you should go apologize Cap”

Steve sighed following Tony out of your room.

—

You opened your eyes, everything was blurry. You had to blink a few times but it was hard because your eyes felt so dry, it was almost painful. You were finally able to see clearly your head was throbbing from the fluorescent light in the room, it was clear as day that you were in the medical wing of the compound. You felt weird, almost disappointed, you weren't even sure what you were trying to accomplish in the tub but you knew it wasn’t this, you knew the possibilities of you ever waking up again was slim once everything went black and you were okay with that but the small chance that you did you were hoping you’d just knock yourself out and wake up in the tub. But laying here you knew they found you, you wondered how, did Friday alert them? Did you not lock your door and Tony or Steve brought you food like they had been for weeks and they found you. You wondered who all saw you like that, a complete mess. You felt numb, emotionally checked out, you sat there staring at your hands, that were crossed on your lap, when you saw someone walk by your room before they did a double take, they started shouting and waving at someone to come over. You wondered how long you had been out for.

The glass door slid open, you could see 6 pairs of shoes, your eyes still glued on your hands and none of them the combat boots you had hoped to see. You didn't really feel anything, someone started to wave a hand in front of your face, you could taste salt, were you crying? Or was it just the bitterness you felt? You dragged your gaze to meet Steve’s, he looked sad, his brow furrowed and his mouth moving but you didn’t process anything he said you were both overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time, you opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out, the walls felt like they were closing in.

You scanned the room seeing who else was here, Bruce was standing at the end of your bed typing away at some screen, Tony to the right sitting at the foot of your bed, his mouth was moving to. Your thoughts were so loud you couldn’t hear anything they were saying, but when you heard heavy footsteps and a frantic voice, your eyes looked up to meet up panicked blue ones standing in the doorway, Bucky.

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sage-lesath · 3 years

Text

Sage with an S/O who was unwillingly returned to Earth

AHHH I got my first request!!! I’m so happy!! I’m not sure if I have anon asks on or how to turn that on, OR if the lovely person who requested this wanted to be anonymous, but since it can be embarrassing for some to have their account name out there, I’ll keep that information private unless stated otherwise. This is also a wonderful idea so thank you again for the two part request. The other will be coming soon! (Sorry if this is bad I’ve never really written anything like this, but I hope you like it!)

So let’s assume that after the final battle with that one bitch (forget his name, not the twink, uhhh it’s Anisa’s dad.) either the astrolabe or the universe or some shit decides that your work there is done, and you are transported home in a brilliant flash of light.

Sage runs over to make sure you’re alright but you’re nowhere to be found. He’s distraught, inconsolable. He searches the battlefield and all surrounding areas for days on end until he collapses with exhaustion. Tulsi eventually finds him and forces him to rest.

Everyone originally thinks that you were killed in the battle, but if they found that big bad guy’s corpse, then shouldn’t they have found yours?

Sage begs Felix and Anisa to keep searching. He can’t accept that you died. He feels in his heart that you’re still alive. He can’t explain it, but he knows that you’re still out there.

Felix and Anisa continue searching while Tulsi forces Sage to rest. Eventually, at the scene of your disappearance, Felix tries a spell and manages to figure out what really happened.

They rush back to Sage to tell him that you were transported back to Earth. You were alive! Sage is ecstatic, they all are. But it’s bittersweet. He wanted you to stay, deep down, they all did. Anisa reluctantly adds that getting you back to Earth was their goal all along. So, technically, everything’s okay… right?

After Sage recovers he tries to move on. His definition of “moving on” though is returning to his old ways with reckless abandon. But now he’s just kinda even more of an alcoholic mess.

As he sees it, if you were automatically sent back to Earth, then it must have been what you wanted. He was trouble, he would just end up dragging you down with him. You deserved better. Anisa was right. Earth was the endgame. It was where you belonged. He couldn’t keep on holding you back…

Then again there was another part of him that remembered how happy you were with him, how happy he was with you. He remembered how you changed him in all the right ways. He remembered the way you talked about Earth, sometimes with a look of disdain or even loathing on your face. Yet you loved Astrea, you told him all the time. He loved the way your eyes lit up whenever he showed you something new. Even the smallest of things to him where incredible to you. So what if they were wrong? What if he was wrong? What if you wanted to be with him? What if he let you stay on Earth and you were just as miserable without him as he was without you. He thought he was a little crazy just thinking about it. How could you love him so much that you would abandon everything you knew to be with him? What if he was just being selfish? Then again, you were the one who taught him that it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. He just had to know. He needed a way to talk to you.

Sage practically forced Felix to find a spell that would let you two talk to each other from wherever you were. It had been nearly months since they had spoken, months since the battle had ended. Felix did it anyways. He missed you too damn it!

You were at your boring job as a boring barista pouring a cup of coffee when suddenly Felix’s face appeared in the coffee! You gasped, nearly dropping the cup in surprise. Felix looked just as shocked as you.

“Holy hells it worked! Sage it worked it’s y/n!” Felix laughed with glee. Your coworkers and some customers started looking at you like you were crazy for looking at a cup of coffee so intently so you hurried somewhere more private.

“Felix! Felix is that you?” You whispered. Your voice wavered, tears pricking at your eyes. Suddenly he was pushed out of the way by a familiar hand. “Move!” “Ack! Sage— you-“ “Oh, y/n, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” The two of you were freely crying by now.

You talked until someone came looking for you, because you were still at work, but when you had to go Sage and Felix assured you that they were going to find a way to bring you back to Astrea. Until then, you would all talk through the water spell Felix found.

Once Sage realized that you love him like he loves you, and that you want nothing more than to return to Astrea, he will fight tooth and nail to get you back.

When you do get back he will sweep you up in his arms and kiss the life out of you. He confesses through happy tears and with a flushed face that the time you spent apart was possibly one of the worst times of his life. He loves you more than anything.

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bontenten · 3 years

Text

Sleeping Beauty

Pairing: Shirabu x f!reader WC: 5.6k Genre/Warnings: smut, fairy tale retelling, incest, dubcon/noncon, drugs (sleeping pill), somnophilia, abusive past relationship, implied rape (not Shirabu), panic attack, victim-blaming, hero-complex with a bit of god-complex, hints of yandere, uhh medical malpractice, Shirabu’s bangs

Summary: The real story of Sleeping Beauty is anything but beautiful. Shirabu will do everything he can to keep you in a safe haven where you can freely dance with your prince once upon a dream.

A/N: This is a part of the whorehouse intoxicated collaboration, rest of the pieces of this toxic journey can be found here! Thank you Ria and Angel for helping beta <3 Love you both so much.

Unofficial bgm: Once Upon a Dream & Once Upon a December

"You'll never wash me from you," he sneers, pulling you back by a handful of hair. You feel a blanket of pain shoot across your scalp. "You'll never really get away. Time to wake the fuck up."

"G-get away from me!"

You thrash and kick your legs wildly hoping something will land. The moment you hear a pained grunt and feel his grip loosen, you scramble up to your feet and run. Your shoes grate against wet cement as you take off. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears as you will your legs forward one after another. The caw of birds seem to act as a beacon leading you through the twists and turns of the terrain.

A left turn here, two blocks straight. Past the corner store and beyond the stoplight. Three blocks. Right turn. Two Blocks. Five steps away. Four...Three..Two...Safety...

----

"In the forest, the princess played with a lot of animal friends. She grew up there in the cottage with three fairies looking after her."

Thunder claps and lightning strikes outside.

"It's so loud Kenjirou-nii!" you cry, burying yourself into Shirabu's arms.

"Shh, I'm here," Shirabu coos, rocking you back and forth until your sobs subside. "One day, the princess was singing with the songbirds..."

Shirabu begins to recount the fairytale of Sleeping Beauty to you, slowly easing your mind away from the turbulence outside.

"Do you think you can sleep now?"

You shake your head and jump again when the thunder claps over the roof of the house.

"It's okay, I'm right here. Big brother’s always going to protect you."

"Like the prince protecting the princess?"

"Yes, exactly. You're always my princess, now go to sleep. I'll wake you when the sun's up.”

After a while, you calm down and slowly drift into sleep with your breaths evening out. Shirabu pulls the covers over both of you and enters sleep as well.

The winds continued to howl outside the window...the branches tapping...tapping against the window...tap...tapping…

----

Shirabu Kenjirou opens his eyes. He had just fallen asleep while studying for the third time that night. There is no use staying at the library if he is going to treat it as a hotel; he’ll be better off going home first. He yawns and stretches his neck, then packs his bags to return to his apartment. There are few students left in the building at this ungodly hour. Dark clouds loom overhead and the air is filled with the pitter patter of autumn rain hitting cement. Shirabu zips up his coat, opens his umbrella, and walks into the dark.

You would have been so frightened by this sort of weather, whimpering under your blankets, counting sheep with shaky breaths. Just like how you did in that dream of his earlier.

While growing up, Shirabu hadn't cared all that much about anything else considering he spent most of his time with his studies or playing volleyball. Although there was you, his little sister, he figured you had your little bubble anyway. But on a stormy night, you teetered down the hall after finding your parent’s room locked. Afraid and sleepy, you looked for comfort elsewhere and arrived at Shirabu’s room.

Shirabu had been most irritated and decided to shoo you out with strings of curses and profanities, but he couldn’t. The sight of your form huddled right outside his bedroom, with young eyes pleading for him took hold of a bit of humanity in Shirabu’s heart. So, he let you into his room, a safe haven, and eventually a world that was composed of only the two of you against the rest of the world.

Shirabu has known for a long time that you are the most brilliant, precious, and purest thing he’ll ever encounter. Always perfect. Forever unsullied.

There are many things that Shirabu wants to shield you from. If he can secure one more hour of innocence, one more day, one lifetime, he’ll do so without a moment of hesitation. The real world is unlike the fairy tales that you hear about while growing up.

The real story of Sleeping Beauty is anything but beautiful. There isn’t a handsome prince the princess meets in a forest. No color changing cake. No kiss of love. In the real story, the princess is put into an endless slumber and has her virginal body taken by some unknown beast of a king, used like a rag for his carnal pleasure. When he leaves, the sleeping girl is then forgotten like trampled daisies under the hooves of horses. And she will wake to find her womb bulged with bastard life as a result of the damnation. The stretches clawing around the navel as permanent reminders that nothing will wash him from her.

The real world is dark. Horrible. Wretched. Dirty. Filled with suffering. That is why he, Shirabu Kenjirou, responds to the call to action and enters a life of service. In his heart he yearns to save and help, even if just a little, by becoming a prince with a white coat. He will not give up trying to salvage pieces of humanity he’ll touch, and in the process, carve out a haven, a little forest with a cottage, for his dearest sister to safely live in.

It has been a while since he last heard from you. Partly his own fault, really. Ever since Shirabu entered university and then medical school, the number of times you two would meet up dwindled. The hours on the phone became texts and soon after, communication vanished into mostly silence.

You are in university now, grown up and stepping into the real world, but that doesn't mean you are no longer his little sister. And because you are the one and only, Shirabu feels that he should try to do a better job as an older brother and check-in with you to see how you are doing. So, Shirabu takes out his phone that’s still on silent after studying.

27 missed calls from Sister

Shirabu pauses in his tracks and returns the call. Cars zoom by on the streets while he waits for the line to connect.

He was right, you must have been frightened.

The first call doesn’t connect, so Shirabu immediately tries the second time. You pick up on the third attempt.

"It's me, I'm so sorry I didn't pick up earlier."

"K-Kenjirou-nii..." your voice weakly translates over the speaker.

Shirabu presses the phone closer to his ear and turns up the volume. "Where are you now," he demands. "At school?"

"...Your place..." Your voice sounds so dangerously faded, like petals beaten to the ground from the rain.

Shirabu bolts. His apartment is just a couple blocks away. Around the corner just up ahead. Shirabu makes a sharp turn and splashes through a puddle.

"Stay...on the phone with me," he urges, paying no mind to his soaked shoes and socks.

You nod in understanding, as if he’ll hear your action.

"I'm almost there okay, almost."

Shirabu isn’t lying. A few moments later you hear the frantic footsteps coming closer to you. The stomping noises make your skin crawl, but the familiar face of your brother melts those fears away. He appears with his wet bangs stuck to his face and his shoulders heaving up and down. It’s him, your niichan, your prince finally here.

You scramble up and dive into his open arms, in relief that you are safe at last, as you finally allow tears to mix with rain.

"I was so scared. I missed you so much, Kenjirou-niichan," you sob into Shirabu's wet coat. "Where were you, where were you?"

"I'm sorry. I'm here now, I'm sorry," Shirabu apologizes, "Let's go inside first, alright? We’re both drenched.”

----

Under the bright lights of the living room, Shirabu gets a better look at you. You catch his discerning eyes studying you up and down, visually tracing the markers of your demise. That’s when you crack.

“Kenjirou-nii...the real world, the world is a horrible place. I trusted him, you know? I trusted that man.”

Foolish and stupid, Shirabu wants to say. It’ll be easy to simply yell at you.

Shirabu is not someone without a temper. He was quite known for it back in his high-school days. The bruises, the scars that did not heal well. Shirabu reminds himself to keep his composure, especially in front of you. He’s to be a doctor. He’s to be a protector, a savior. And with the training he already has so far, Shirabu knows he’s already as good as any board certified, licensed white-robed saint. He just needs to do what he’s meant to do. Heal. Clean. Purify.

After listening to your brief tale, Shirabu tells you not to worry about anything else tonight other than take a hot shower and get some rest. He gives you a reassuring smile and sends you off to the bathroom with towels and a large t-shirt.

While you wash-up and lose your thoughts piecing together the messy events of the night, Shirabu paces in the living room after he changes his own wet clothes. Nevermind the medical books he still needs to pour over, all Shirabu wants to do right now is track down the culprit and stick a scalpel through his socket. No, that’s just too easy. That bastard deserves something much more horrible, a slow and patient torture, a death within grasp but just out of reach. As if agreeing with Shirabu’s thoughts, your phone on the coffee table lights up. Shirabu picks up the device and watches the notifications pop-up.

Shirabu sees an unknown number call you. He doesn’t pick up, letting the phone ring while he reads the numbers across the screen and commits them to memory. The phone calls stop and an onslaught of texts follow; some coherent and others far from decipherable. There are messages of broken apologies and confessions of persistent love. Requests for you to go back to him. Shirabu scoffs at the language.

Shirabu continues to wait with impassive eyes, but the tight death grip around the device gives away the boiling rage beneath his skin. How dare the man behind that accursed number treat you, his little sister and princess, in such a foul manner. This beast who stole from you. Who is the reason behind the tainting of your now sullied innocence.

Finally after a few minutes of silence, the screen lights up with a series of curses and condemnation that show the man’s true colors. A morphed beast due to your lack of response. Shirabu scrolls through the list of notifications again with impassive eyes, but the tight death grip around the device gives away the boiling rage beneath his skin.

"You will pay," Shirabu seethes, taking a knife from the kitchen and ramming the sharp end straight into the device glass. The phone buzzes desperately and goes dark. You have no use for that phone anymore after all of this anyway, and the cursed number is already memorized by Shirabu for his own purposes.

----

Shirabu’s room is tidy. The two bookshelves on either side of the table are filled with books, photos, and many other accolades. That’s your older brother alright: perfect, proper, always right. Always right about everything, except one thing. The world you know really isn’t the wonderland he told you about growing up. Not at all.

You bury your face into Shirabu's pillows and will yourself to sleep. You are safe here in his bed. It’s a haven...safely tucked in a forest. You are in a forest. The trees and the breeze. Songbirds are singing.

You can dance here, twirl about...safe...free…

The trees melt.

Birds squawk and screech, scampering away…

Ink engulfs you....swallowing you whole

Falling...falling…

"You'll never wash me from you," he sneers. "You'll never really get away. Time to wake the fuck up."

NO! you try to scream. You can’t, the weight on your chest sinks you deeper, only silence is uttered...choked…

Wake up.

"Wake up!"

Your eyes fly open and you see him. Him. A blood curdling shriek finally tears through your throat and you thrash. "Getawaygetawaygetaway! NO!"

"It's me, hey, it's me. You're okay, you're safe." Shirabu’s eyes widen with worry at your outburst, but gives you ample space to breathe and compose yourself.

This familiar voice. It does not belong to him. It’s definitely not him.

"...Kenjirou-nii?" you ask quietly. The shadow is backlit from light coming in through the door and your vision is still fuzzy from the nightmare.

A tender hand closes around yours. "Shhh, it's okay, you're okay now. It was a bad dream, you're safe. You're safe. I'm here."

Cold sweat runs down your temples. Your breath is fast and shallow.

"Follow me, okay. Breathe in..." Shirabu takes a deep breath. You follow his voice and movement as if they are lanterns guiding you through a maze. "And breathe out. Good, you're doing great. Breathe in...and out..."

You feel your mind slowly beginning to clear with each inhale and exhale. Finally, you see Shirabu clearly again. You can smell the scent of his body wash from him. The texture of the blanket rubs against your fingertips. You’re here in Shirabu’s room. Safety. Haven.

"I'll be right back," Shirabu tells you, before leaving you for a moment and going towards the bathroom. He opens the medicine cabinet, pops out a few white pills from a box.

"Here," he says holding out the small tablets in the middle of his palm. The off-white seems to almost glow in the dark.

"It's zolpidem, a sleeping pill I sometimes take for insomnia. It'll help you for tonight, and then we'll get you something else tomorrow that'll work better."

You look at the pill and then at Shirabu. Shirabu is someone you love and trust with all your heart. His embrace is your anchor and haven when the rest of the world has turned a blind eye. He’s your brother. One and only. There’s no reason not to trust him.

"I won't see him will I?"

"No," Shirabu affirms. The pills don't really manipulate dreams, but if reassuring you can placebo sweet dreams, then what harm really is there? He didn’t pass Ethics with top marks for nothing.

Shirabu gently presses the pill body against your lips and you part them, allowing the small object to slip through. He feeds another and you open your mouth obediently. You look at Shirabu’s eyes which are fixated on the way your lips wrap around his three fingers. Kenjirou-nii’s lashes are so nice and pretty, you think.

One gulp of water later, and you feel nothing but a cold sensation traveling down your throat and disappearing into your belly.

"It'll take about half an hour, I'll stay with you until you fall asleep," Shirabu says. He supports your back and gently lowers you back into the comforts of the plush mattress. Shirabu will surely carry the same attentiveness and care when he becomes a full-fledged doctor. You are sure of it. The big brother you grew up with has truly grown up and matured. But no matter how much he changes or how much you mess up, he’ll always be your big brother.

"Can you lie down next to me again, like when we were young?"

An innocent request from a patient-in-need. Shirabu complies and lies down next to you.

"I remember when we were young, I would make you dance with me to live out my princess dreams. You remember?”

Afternoons next to the stereo, crayons scattered on the floor. The smell of something baking in the kitchen. Shrieks and laughter in the living room. Even though Shirabu would be mildly annoyed at first, he found humoring your imagination to be a pleasant and soothing experience. Even he was sometimes whisked away from textbooks into a magical forest that was just you and him. The stress and burdens of everything else all seem so much lighter on his shoulders when you’re simply just there.

"Of course I remember, silly."

You hum softly and continue waiting for the medicine in your bloodstream to make its way through your body.

"Do you...remember the sleeping beauty story you would always tell me?"

"Yea?"

You pause for a moment before quietly asking, "Kenjirou-niichan, why did you lie to me?"

Shirabu does not respond and only glances over at you, eyeing your closed lids. Closed though they may be, the tiny beads of glimmering tears are beginning to emerge from between the lashes and trail down your cheeks.

"There is no prince, Kenjirou-nii...no prince for me, no one...niichan...," you mumble between your breaths. The drug is starting to take its effect, ushering your mind into another dimension far away from hurt and pain. It swallows you like a pit of ink, sinking you deeper and deeper...

----

Kenjirou-nii, why did you lie? Earlier, Shirabu felt his breath hitch when you asked that.

He calls out your name softly, brushing over your cheeks, and listening to your soft breathing for a good while to make sure you are in fact asleep. At long last, maybe this is a good dream.

A lie? No! Not a lie, Shirabu wants to tell you. For you, his dearest sister, who only ever deserves happiness, in the rawest and truest form. You are supposed to have a life of others giving gifts of love, never having to offer anything of your own.

Shirabu feels his blood boil once more at the thought of that man who stole your innocence away. The one who took your body for his own carnal pleasures. The one who dared to steal you from him, Shirabu Kenjirou. If Shirabu's nails are not kept in immaculate condition for his profession, no doubt, his grip would be drawing blood from his palms.

Those marks and scars across your skin. Shirabu traces his finger down your neckline and along your arms...

Your head turns from left to right and you manage to shrug the big collar of the t-shirt off your shoulder. Shirabu can see, under the glow of moonlight from the cleared night sky, a nasty mark. A permanent mark. And before he realizes it, his fingers are already traveling over, tracing along and testing out the patterns and bumps.

Shirabu feels his chest burn beyond the anger and fury. Guilt. Where was he all this time when you were suffering? Why hadn't you just called him then? Anguishing thoughts of his little sister writhing in pain under that beast's grasps tear Shirabu apart. Did you cry? Were you scared? All these years studying for what? For what noble purpose is Shirabu trying to pursue if he can’t even save those closest to him?

Shirabu continues to search for any other marks or discolorations that are splayed across your skin like a map. It is what it is now. But Shirabu still has his calling. He is a man who answers to a life of service and healing: a prince in a white coat. No matter what happens, even if you’re tainted now, you’ll still be his little sister.

Even if your naivety and stupidity got you into the mess in the first place. Of course, why didn’t you listen to your brother’s warnings and stay in a safe haven like a good girl? Stay in your room and study for your future like a good student? Like him? Why did you think running off for fun, enjoying “youth and freedom” like the other degenerates would be a good idea?

Shirabu grits his teeth. Look at you now, damaged and past the point of no return, used. Injured and ill. Still, he needs to get the full story first, and see where else you might possibly be hurt. A complete diagnosis needs to come first. After the messages from the man, Shirabu is all the more certain that there are more clues left, and he needs evidence. He needs to know. The comforter is pulled away and careful hands examine the lines of your palms.

Once upon a time, you grabbed Shirabu’s hand and tried to use the methods of schoolyard palm-reading on him. You even exclaimed, “Kenjirou-niichan, this line means you’ll live a long life! And we can be together forever because my life line is really long too!”

Shirabu smiles at the memory and presses a kiss to the center of your palm. It must have been so painful, how could you have possibly endured? But you did and you survived. You are so brave.

Probing fingertips trace across your collarbone and push the fabric of the large t-shirt up to reveal your torso. Shirabu blinks, realizing that this is now the body of a fully matured woman. You take a deep breath in your sleep from the cold air running across your exposed breasts. Shirabu can see the nipples perk up from the chill and hesitantly touches the bud with a hint of academic curiosity.

“Mmm, that tickles...” you giggle softly. Your hand pushes Shirabu's off and scratches the same spot he just traced, fondling your own breast briefly before letting go and continuing to sleep. Even grown up now, still the same adorable little sister.

Shirabu lets himself tease your nipples and knead the soft flesh of your breasts, toying around and watching your cute little expressions. Sometimes you’ll respond again and paw the tickling hands away. It’s fun, like playing a little game.

But when he lets his eyes wander down, Shirabu’s eyes narrow. Below the breasts, on either side of the waist, Shirabu sees damning marks of deep purple turning into a disgusting yellow. Like cursed claw marks. Shirabu hesitantly presses on the bruise, watching the color transform under his touch. He stops immediately when you begin to whine in pain. Carefully, Shirabu presses a kiss on these markings too, just like any other little injury you sustained in the past. A kiss so the pain flies away.

Foolish, foolish girl. Naive princess. Why did you let this happen to yourself? In the future, don’t run anymore. Stay here where it’s safe.

There is just one place left Shirabu did not examine yet, a hidden spot that is supposed to be locked away that someone else discovered. Shirabu looks down at the dark lace panties obstructing his view like gates of a castle. It’s a poor “keep out” message; if anything it entices anyone who sees it to come in. A tempting invitation to see what’s behind.

Shirabu allows his clean fingers to easily slip through and begin a thorough investigation through the soft folds of flesh. His fingertips dip into a pool of wetness. He furrows his brows. When did this happen?

Why are you wet? His eyes focus on your sleeping face that still has a relaxed smile. What are you dreaming about that makes your body like this? Shirabu drags the fingers covered with your slick to circle your clit. In response your thighs clamp and twitch. So sensitive, still inexperienced, even if you’re sullied.

Shirabu slides the soaked panties off and pushes your thighs apart so he can continue his examination. That person must have touched this area too, his fingers have been here, and then…plunged his fingers into you like so. Your body trembles as Shirabu’s two fingers probe in, fully examining your inner anatomy. Soft, warm muscles clamp tightly around his digits and try to stop them from entering further. It’s for your good and his knowledge. He pushes deeper into you, dragging alongside the bumps and ridges of your walls.

You whine loudly and arch your back when Shirabu’s fingers find a sweet spot. Your head shifts on the fluffy pillows.

“Did you like that? Did that feel good?” Shirabu asks, probing your hole once more. As if in agreement, your body twitches again and your hips automatically roll against the palm, pressing your sensitive clit into the surface. Your breathy sighs are soft and sweet, unlike any other sound Shirabu has heard from you. It’s like a spell that enchants Shirabu and beckons for him. He shudders as he feels his cock responding to each noise coming out from between your lips.

It’s good, something feels so good. Under the sunlight, you feel warmth pooling throughout your body. There are tingles in the soles of your feet, like grass tickling skin while running around barefoot. Your body feels so light and relaxed. It’s warm and you’re not in this forest alone. The shape of a prince appears. You know he’s a prince because his voice is gentle and his touch feels safe.

If this feels good, it’s only because this is an act of love. If this makes you happy, it’s because it’s love. If it’s love, it’ll fill the empty pools of hurt. And if you’ll be whole again, you’ll heal. Shirabu makes up his mind and caresses your cheeks tenderly, So beautiful. Always beautiful. A sleeping beauty. His hand reaches to the waistband of his pants.

The prince rests his hand on your hips and excitement jolts through your body. You wrap your arms around his neck and smile back.

Shirabu freezes the moment he feels your arms wave into the air and reach for him. The sneaky fingers run across his skin.

"Dance..with me," you slur before falling back into silence.

The alarm washes away when he confirms you are still sound asleep.

"Are you dreaming of your prince?" Shirabu asks while tearing open a condom packet. Medical safety. He should have worn gloves earlier too, if he wasn’t already too entranced. "Dancing? Then I'll dance with you."

Forever. I'll be your prince, my sweet darling.

Shirabu runs the length of his hardened cock along your glistening slit. Rather than take, rather than pillage and steal...Shirabu will give. Replace the gross markers of pain with soft fleeting kisses. Replace the innocence stolen with love given unconditionally. Shirabu will give you all the love you deserve and more.

Shirabu’s fingers weave into your delicate ones, the palms join together, and your fingertips automatically lock with your niichan’s. It’s the starting position for a waltz in the forest, once upon a dream.

The man takes the initiation, the leading step. Shirabu closes the gap, sinking his length into your sweet embrace in a fluid and wet squelch. You respond, digging your nails and tightening your grip on his hands. Your other arm hugs around your partner, your niichan, pulling his body close against yours. Your blank eyes flutter open briefly to look straight at the shadow of Shirabu. Of course, you don’t see anything, you’re actually in a warm forest shyly gazing at your prince. Shirabu almost thinks that he woke you up, but you only let out a quiet moan before your body relaxes again.

Shirabu groans and rests his cock in your warm and tight embrace. This is the way it should be, how it ought to be done. No one else can lead you in this dance the way he can. The way he will. This is not the self-fulfilling king stealing the princess’s virginal body for his own pleasure. This is the loving prince who loves and gives selflessly. Your big brother knows you the best, knows how you’ll respond, knows how you’ll like it. Shirabu slowly draws himself out and thrusts back in.

The prince presses himself so close to you, and you inhale sharply. During the waltz, you always have to maintain body contact with your partner. You feel his breath on your cheeks, and you’re sure he can feel your hammering heartbeat. The intimacy builds in the tender but secure hold. The steps are quick but the movements are not violent. It’s just enough that the heat stirring in your core spreads throughout your body.

Breaths become more labored and raspy into the act. Shirabu sees your face morph into bliss as he continues his pace and rocks his hips into you. His own brows furrow as Shirabu feels his grip over rationality falling apart with each thrust. Each flutter of your walls against him only invites him to come in deeper, farther. Harder.

“...K-Kenjirou-nii...,” you softly cry out.

Your honeyed voice is a thick syrup trapping Shirabu, coaxing him. It’s like a melody inviting a weary traveler, a lost prince, in for rest. Your voice, your body, it’s tantalizing.

"Too good," Shirabu groans to himself. Why is it so good? You, his little sister, how? He looks down towards where he sees his cock, covered with your fluids, disappear into you. The thin latex barrier doesn’t stop how close the two of you are, Shirabu feels each clench and spasm around him. “My little sister, I didn’t know…”

Shirabu can now understand just why that man did all that to you. Why that man wants to keep you by his side. Why he incessantly sends messages and tries to manipulate you back into their world.

It’s the only explanation, really, when you don’t even know how bewitching your body is. How enticing your voice is. Anyone would want to keep it as their own. Your warmth, your sweet, sweet hole. This cunt of yours is itself a safe haven. And Shirabu feels like he’s the one being made whole from you. It’s all because of you.

Each moan from you. Those gentle mewling cries, a witch’s spell, an incantation for addiction. That man is trying to manipulate you? How? When your whole existence manipulates everyone first, drawing them all in with the image of your unsullied purity.

Shirabu feels his impending release around the edge. His pace quickens and his thrusts meet with each of your twisting squirms. Your head tosses side-to-side on the pillow as your sleepy climax washes through.

Spin. Faster and faster in the forested ballroom. Twirl for the finale. You feel a dizzying jolt as the prince dips your body back. It’s a whirlwind of love. In your dream, the sunshine is so warm and growing so much hotter. It feels like you’re floating. So light and free. That prickling tickle in your feet is growing stronger until little fireworks set off across every corner of your body, filling you completely. The forest melts as the colors blend together in a dreamy painting.

Euphoria, as Shirabu finishes spectacularly, clutching your sleeping body close to him in a messy ending pose. The final winds of the dead storm outside sound like a rumbling applause for this sinful waltz. He can hear his own pants and your shaky breaths mix into a fading duet. Shirabu lets himself bask for a moment, resting, entangled with you.

Everything makes sense now. He completely understands why the bastard king forces himself onto Sleeping Beauty. He completely understands why your allure is much too exquisite to pass on. Shirabu pulls out and carefully removes the condom, collecting the white essence you bewitched out from him into a little package with a tie. Dangerous little princess, that you are.

Even though Shirabu now fully understands the complete story after careful examination, there are still a few lines Shirabu will draw. One, that man has still committed a very grave sin, being the first to sample your purity, stealing that away from Shirabu? Damaging your flesh and skin? Unacceptable, he thinks as he tosses the used condom into the waste bin. A complete low-life who doesn’t know how to cherish. Punishment will be due.

Shirabu returns to the bed where your unconscious body is still sprawled between bunched sheets. His blank eyes study your spread legs and puffy cunt that’s still quivering every now and then. He taps his index finger against your sensitive clit. As if it is a magic button, your body briefly trembles on command. As if you are ready to enchant another unsuspecting traveler into your safe little haven. A little bit of fluid leaks out from your hole, presenting itself seductively. Welcome.

Shirabu scoffs. And number two, you’ll be better off staying here with himself, your big brother. You’ll be safe here with a prince who knows best how to love you right, and give you the world. This is the way it should be; before you completely lose yourself into degeneracy and invite just about anyone into you.

Those sleeping pills will be insufficient for the long-run. A different concoction while you are still healing from your terrible trauma will be needed. A cocktail of sorts that will target different needs. Yes. Shirabu files that thought away, putting it towards the top of his to-do list. There’s so many things he has to take care of. Too much pain in this world waiting for him to don white robes and be out there.

“But you’ll always come first on niichan’s list,” Shirabu whispers, slipping your panties back on and pulling the comforters over your body. He’ll never allow you to be sullied again. You’ll stay here in this safe haven, like a little cottage tucked away in the forest. Dream here. Find happiness with the only prince you need.

The first rays of dawn begin to brighten the sky, shooing away the cloak of night. The first songs from the birds announce the arrival of a new day. The morning light filters through the windows of the room, spilling over onto the bed and your quiet, unmoving form.

Time to wake up now, sleeping beauty.

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