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#poe dameron fic
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Just Look at You, Baby- Poe Dameron x f!reader
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Rating: E for EXPLICIT MDNI 18+
Summary: After a recon mission gone wrong, you attempt to blow off some steam. Commander Dameron interrupts and decides to lend a hand.
Word Count: 2359
Warnings: reader is able-bodied but otherwise undescribed, teasing, masturbation, use of a sex toy, mirror sex, frottage
Author's Note: Happy Birthday to Oscar Isaac! This fic was inspired by this post. Shout out to @beskarandblasters and @catchallfangirl for beta reading. Thank you both for encouraging the brainrot!
It was just supposed to be a recon mission. Spying on a planet suspected of having a First Order base on it. You weren’t planning on being shot at. You weren’t planning on being chased by TIE fighters. When Commander Dameron tells you to fall back, you disregard his order. 
“I’ll just lead them back to the cruiser, to everyone, if I do that!”
“That wasn’t a suggestion! Disengage and fall back! That’s an order!” He shouts. You kill the comms in response and begin flying the evasive maneuvers he taught you when he recruited you to Black Squadron. It doesn’t take long in your T-70 X-Wing to lose the TIEs and jump to hyperspace. You're a good enough pilot that you didn’t take even a single hit. You're better than Commander Dameron, even. Not that he’d ever admit it. 
Once you park on the cruiser, you hop out and begin making your way out of the hangar. You almost make it to the door when he catches up with you. 
“Hey!” You hear from behind you, stopping you in your tracks. You roll your eyes and sigh before turning to face him. 
“Yes?” There is no mistaking the edge in your voice. 
“What the hell were you doing out there?” Another sigh. Another roll of the eyes. 
“I was trying to get my ass out of there, without risking the safety of everyone on this cruiser!” When he huffs out a breath you add, “You’re welcome, by the way.”
“I gave you a direct order!” 
You don’t bother answering. There’s no point arguing with him. He is your commanding officer, after all. But he only seems to care about following orders when he’s the one giving them. You spin on your heel and start for the door once more. 
“I’m not finished!” He calls after you. 
“I am!” You call back without turning around, giving him the finger over your shoulder. You smile when you hear him grunt in frustration. A quiet thought appears in your brain. Is that what he sounds like when he- you stop the thought before it goes any further. It wouldn’t be appropriate. Besides, nobody on this ship grates on your nerves quite like Poe Dameron. 
You stew about it all the way to your quarters. When you soap up in the shower you absolutely do not briefly imagine that it’s his hands scrubbing your skin, soaping your breasts, sliding down the curve of your ass. When you get out and dry off, you don’t wonder what his stupid face would look like if he was watching you. When you slip into your bunk you don’t pretend like it’s his fingers, thicker than yours and calloused from doing maintenance on his X-Wing, sliding under the waistband of your shorts instead of yours. You stuff your fingers inside of yourself, not thinking about how his would fill you up better. 
This isn’t enough, you think, pulling your hand out and wiping it on the sheets. You reach into the bottom drawer of the steel table next to your bunk. You pull out the vibrator you picked up at a specialty shop in a market the last time you were on Naboo. You’d hidden it, buried it deep in your pack until you got back to the cruiser. It’s not warm, it doesn’t tremble or throb under your touch. But it gets the job done. 
You toss your blanket off your legs and shimmy your shorts down. You twist the knob on the bottom until you find your favorite setting. You run the tip of it over your clit and a jolt of pleasure shoots through your spine. Fuck, you whisper quietly. You trace small circles with even pressure until you find a rhythm that suits you. You palm your breast with your free hand, fingers ghosting over your nipple. Definitely not thinking about the wet heat of Poe’s tongue flicking it, covering it with his mouth. 
Your eyes fall closed and your back arches off the bed, your mouth hangs open in a silent scream. Your door flies open, banging against the wall and scaring the hell out of you. You scream in surprise and fling your hand towards the intruder instinctively. Before you can stop it your vibrator bounces off the chest of none other than Poe Dameron. His mouth is twisted into a shocked smirk and his eyes widen in surprise when your vibrator, still buzzing, hits the durasteel floor. It rattles loudly, echoing off the walls. 
“Close the kriffing door!” You shout, jolting him from where he stands frozen and staring. You throw your blanket over your head and try to make yourself as small as possible. You hear the door click shut and pull your head back out. Surprisingly, Poe is still standing there, watching your vibrator buzz in circles on the floor. “I meant with you on the other side!” You growl at him. 
“I- sorry.” Is all he manages to get out. He tries to find somewhere else to look but his eyes just flit between yours and the floor. 
“Get. Out.” you say shoving him towards the door. Instead, he bends over and picks up your vibrator. First, he turns it all the way up, then he turns it off. You can see the laughter that he’s holding back and you can’t help but to snicker as well. If there was anyone you wouldn’t have wanted to catch you in this position, it’s him. “What are you even doing here?” you ask, pulling the blanket off your bed and wrapping it around yourself. 
“I wasn’t done yelling at you for almost getting yourself killed today. But, uh, I can come back later. I can see you’re… busy .” You bury your face in your hands and groan loudly as tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You sniffle to hold them back and Poe walks closer to you. He places a hand on your shoulder. “Hey. It's okay. I’m really sorry.”
“Ugh! This is so embarrassing !”
“It’s not embarrassing. What do you think we all do when we go to bed at night?”
“Yeah, well I doubt you’re doing it in front of General Organa.”
He snorts out a laugh and you join him, finally uncovering your face. “Oh, man! Could you imagine?”
“Okay, can you please go now? I promise I’ll let you keep yelling at me tomorrow. I’ll set aside time for it. But, for now, I’d really like to try to salvage what’s left of my dignity.” 
He holds his hand out, the one with your still slick vibrator in it. “I could go,” he begins. You reach out to grab it from him but he pulls his hand back, holding it out of your reach. He leans his head close to yours and whispers in your ear, “or I could stay.”
You let out a soft gasp at the idea. All the things you weren’t imagining before come flooding back to you. 
“We shouldn’t be-” 
“No. We shouldn’t. But I want to, anyway.” He nudges the blanket wrapped around your shoulders and you let it drop to the floor. He tosses the vibrator on the bed and pulls your shirt over your head. It falls to the floor and Poe holds you by your shoulders, drinking you in. “I’ve thought about this a lot.” he says quietly. 
“I haven’t.” You are nothing if not stubborn. 
“Brat." he replies, but he’s smiling. He leans over slowly, capturing your bottom lip between his. You slide your tongue along his, only breaking apart for him to take his clothes off. Once he’s bare he jerks his head towards your bunk. “Get on the bed.” For once in all the time you’ve known him, the authoritative tone in his voice doesn’t irritate you. You climb into your bunk and before he joins you, he walks over to the door. You admire his thick thighs and the jiggle in his plush ass as he does. He clicks the lock and turns back to you, smiling even wider. “Don’t need a repeat of what just happened.” 
“Get over here before I change my mind and finish myself off.”  He crosses the room in two steps, climbing on top of you. The weight of his broad, strong body settles on top of you. The trail of hair below his belly button tickles your mound. He kisses along your jaw and his stubble rubs your skin and it’ll probably hurt tomorrow but you can’t think about that now. All you can think about is his hands on you, his mouth. His cock is pressed between your bodies, getting harder by the second. 
You roll your hips against him, pressing your cunt into the soft swell of his stomach. Poe drops his forehead to your chest and groans, sending vibrations through your body. He kisses down your sternum, torso, and just before he reaches where you are so desperate to feel his mouth, he sits back on his heels. He grabs your vibrator from the bed and turns the knob on the bottom, buzzing fills the air. 
He licks his lips when he spreads your lips apart with the fingers of his free hand. He touches the toy to your clit, but just barely. Your hips jerk up instinctively but he holds you down with his forearm across your stomach. The hunger in his eyes, the intensity of his stare makes you feel self conscious suddenly. You cover your face with your hands, content to just feel him. When Poe takes notice he removes his hands from you. 
“Hey. None of that.” You drop your hands from your face with a sigh. “Don’t cover up. I want to see you. All of you.” 
When you don’t respond Poe stands from the bed. You expect him to start dressing himself, to leave you alone, dripping and aching for his touch. Instead, he walks to the edge of your bed and sits, facing the full length mirror on the wall across. He turns at the waist and grabs your ankle, pulling you towards him. 
“Come here. Sit in my lap.” You do as he asks, settling your ass on the bed in between his spread legs. “I said in my lap.” He throws your legs over his own, spreading them wide. His cock is pressed up against your lower back. You lean your head back, resting it on his shoulder, looking up at the ceiling. Your back is pressed against his chest, sweat sticking your bodies together. He grabs your chin and gently tugs your head forward, until your eyes meet his in the mirror. “Just look at you, baby.” he breathes into your ear. 
You raise one of your arms above your head and thread your fingers through his thick curls. He traces a long line with his fingertips down your arm, down the swell of the side of your breast, down your torso and hip. When he reaches your thigh he grips the meat of it, squeezing tightly. “Look at how beautiful you are like this. Spread open and slick for me.” 
Your breath comes in whining pants now. You ache for him to touch you. To quell the gnawing, throbbing feeling inside of you. As if reading your thoughts, he trails his finger to the inside of your thigh and towards where you want him, need him, to touch you. He ghosts his fingers across your slick entrance, and up over your clit. 
When he pulls his hand away again, you groan out in frustration. “If you’re just gonna tease me, I am perfectly capable of doing this on my own.” He laughs against your neck and kisses your shoulder. 
“Impatient, aren’t we?” He reaches for your vibrator and twists the knob with his thumb. “Such a needy little thing.” 
Finally , he nudges the toy slowly inside of you, savoring the quiet moans that fall from your mouth. When you start to lean your head back again, his free hand grips your chin. He holds you there, facing the mirror, never breaking eye contact with you until the vibrator is nestled deep inside of you. Your walls flutter around the vibrating silicone and you wish it was him that was buried deep inside you instead. 
He fucks the toy in and out of you, watching where it stretches you open. His thumb never stops working your clit. He finally finds it, the spot he was looking for. The spot that lights a fire in your belly. Your moans grow louder and he inches his hand up, covering your mouth. “Gotta be quiet, baby.” You whimper behind his hand as he continues working your clit. “Don’t want everyone to hear how good I’m fucking you, huh?” 
Your legs begin to shake and you can feel his leaking cock twitching where it’s wedge between your back and his stomach. He snaps his mouth closed and breathes through his nose. His nostrils flare in time with your own heaving breaths. Your orgasm hits you like a railspeeder, punching your breath out of you. Your dripping cunt clenches on the vibrator and your moans grow louder behind Poe’s hand. His mouth falls open and he lets out a low growl. It reverberates through your body and you feel the warm, sticky spurts of his own release against your back. It drips down to your ass and you bat his hand away as you near overstimulation. 
Your body collapses against his as you attempt to catch your breath. He wraps his arms around you and falls back on your bed. He kisses your neck and shoulders, rubs his hands over your body until it settles against his. “We should get cleaned up.” He rasps, kissing the crown of your head. “I don’t wanna sleep with come all over me.” 
“Kind of presumptuous of you isn’t it? Thinking I want you to stay?” 
He barks out a laugh and shakes his head. “Brat.” He lands a light swat against your ass. 
He does end up staying the night with you, though neither of you get much sleep. 
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jake-g-lockley · 10 months
Note
Can I have prompt 23 and 27 with Poe Dameron, with a side of enemies to lovers please?
Feels Right (Poe Dameron x reader)
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Prompts: "you are, without a doubt, the most annoying person i've ever crossed paths with. and don't even get me started on the sound of your voice." and "please shut up. i can't stand how appealing your voice is."'
A/N: HALLU! Firstly, thank you for this request nonnie! Sorry it took me so freaking long to complete, had a busy few months :”) 
Warnings: MDNI, smut, a little bit of dub-con, dry humping, dom!Poe, sub!reader, bondage, fingering, oral (f receiving), protected p in v, a bit of angst, lots of fluff, swearing, jealousy, possessive Poe. 
Word count: 5.3k
 .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You couldn't stand his voice. You wanted him to shut up, your only thought in your head was "Please shut up. I can't stand how appealing your voice is.”  You couldn’t stand the way he looked at everyone, so full of hope. You couldn’t stand the way his curls bounced when he turned his head or the way his eyes sparkled when they came in contact with yours.
It was all too much.
You raised your hand the second he asked whether there were other questions. He narrowed his eyes but like the good receptive leader he was, he nodded at you.
“This is less of a question and more of a request. I’d just like to say that I need people to start keeping the hangar clean and stop parking x-wings wherever you please, only for me to wake up in the morning and dock the ships for you. What are y’all? A bunch of five year olds?” you huffed, your hands on your hips.
You were addressing everyone in the room, but your eyes were steadily trained on the Black Leader, who had a small smirk on his face. He walked around the table and your eyes followed him while you spoke, holding your head high as he approached you. 
“You heard your commander, folks!” he addressed the room with one of his charming smiles.
Leaning in, he whispers. “Although, I can’t say I’ll be the one keeping the promise, darling.”
You stiffened at the sound of his voice. He was too close and you wanted to body slam him onto the floor so that you would not have to hear him for a while.You flinched slightly as he brought his hands together for a clap.
“All right, everyones dismissed.” 
You stood rooted to your spot, glaring at the General as he went to pick up his data pad. 
“Oh fuck you, Dameron.” you mumbled to his back.
“Say it with a little more chest and I’ll be down, Commander.”  he turned his head to you and smirked. 
Those lips.
Those fucking lips. 
The one time you caved into them made you regret every possible living day you’ve had since. The way those lips had carved out the secret between you two made it seem unbreakable. You craved the taste, but you were too stubborn to satisfy the craving and you had a feeling he knew you were holding back, the passing glances and glares holding something a little more than just resentment.
“You, Dameron, are, without a doubt, the most annoying person I've ever crossed paths with. and don't even get me started on the sound of your voice." you snap.
“Hmm, would you like my voice to say something only for your ears, sweet angel?” He replied so smoothly that you almost let yourself smile, but you resisted, clenching your jaw hard. 
You scowled through your heating cheeks and you let out a sharp breath as the door closed behind him. Over the past few years, that voice has been the bane of your existence. Always saying something cocky, vain or insulting. That didn’t help to cure your insatiable need for him though. 
You’d spend your nights dreaming away about the way he would sound, if you ever got the chance to get under him. How would his lips feel against the shell of your ear if he were to keep his promise and whisper all the beautiful things you'd want him to do to you? Would he whimper if you tug those curls just right or would he grunt and growl if you scratched that glorious back of his? These questions kept you awake and ebbed away at your sanity for years. You glanced at the clock and rubbed your cheek, groaning slightly at the way you had let this ordinary man completely ruin your relatively stable mind. 
 .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You stared with sleep laden eyes at the x-wing that was parked smack in the middle of the hangar. You scowled again at Poe’s mischief and mumbled curses under your breath as you climbed the ladder up into the cockpit. You slid into his seat and took a deep breath as Poe’s scent filled your nostrils. You smile to yourself, tracing the joystick before you with your fingers. 
You don't actually hate him, every single good memory you’ve had has him in it. You do however, enjoy the back and forth the both of you had going on for the past few months due to your sudden promotions. Secretly, you were in love with Poe, his stupid boyish swagger made your heart ache, especially when he used that god awful smile on you.
Slowly, everything was becoming more and more overwhelming, lulling you into sleep. You turned and pressed your nose into the seat, breathing in the soothing scent as your eyes fluttered close.
“Just for a few minutes…” you mumbled, and soon the cockpit of the x-wing was filled with the sounds of your snores.
 .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Poe was waiting for you at the hanger, watching for any movement from his x-wing. He loved teasing you like this, smiling to himself when he sees you unhappily wadling in your sleep shirt towards his ship. He waited for you to come down, so that he could scare you. He frowned when you took too long, silences ringing in his ear when his ship didn’t start moving. Alarm bells started going off in his head and he rushed to the x-wing and quickly climbed up, only to see you sleeping there.
He stared at you for a while, leaning against his x-wing as you snored softly in his seat, nuzzing your nose into his chair. He didn’t make a mistake, kissing you that one fateful day, pretending to be drunk to maybe earn your favour for the night. He knew he couldn’t have you the second your lips pressed harder against his, igniting something that he could not explain, alongside with the urge to keep you safe. He pushed you away that night, vowing to never turn back to you until he could keep you and his people safe. 
The general sighed and flipped open a dummy switch by the control, a switch that you had never touched before, to reveal your face. He pressed his two fingers to his lips and to the picture of your smiling face, just like he always did before he took flight, followed by the softest kiss on your forehead, something totally unorthodox to him, something that he would talk himself out of if he ever gave his heart a chance to listen to his brain. Poe waited for a while for you to stir but breathed out a sigh of relief when you didn’t. 
He wanted to keep his distance, he really did. But you kept him up all night, the way you gasped into his mouth when the kiss got a little more hungry never really left his mind, rolling over and over like a broken tape recorder. He wanted to hold you in his arms and keep his promise, to keep you alive and beautiful as always. To never see you cower away in pain or suffering ever again. How could he do that when everything went radioactive around him? 
He wanted you so bad, and he was running out of ideas and ways to stay out of your lane. Poe sighed again, reaching out to move away a strand of hair that fell out of place.He leaned back and watched you a little longer until his eyes grew heavy with sleep too. 
 .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You woke up in your bed, completely confused with your bearings. You had a weird dream, being in Poe’s x-wing, being carried out by him. You tried to go through the dream in order, piecing together whether it was real or not. You finally shook your head, figuring that you probably dreamt it up in your sleep-addled brain.
You sigh and decide to get up and start your day, pulling your datapad to check your schedule. There were going to be new recruits today and you had to greet them and assign them to their positions. It was the easiest of your jobs, your smile genuine as your heart gets lighter now that the galaxy was healing. You quickly got up and got ready, to show your best to the new recruits. 
You stood poised in your uniform waiting for the transport to touch down at the hangar when suddenly you felt a strong presence behind you. You didn’t need to be a master of the force to know that Poe Dameron was standing behind you, his gaze piercing the back of your head making your smile slightly. You raise your chin slightly as the door to the transport drops and a few individuals walk out. One of them leads the bunch, walking slightly faster and taller towards you. A beautiful woman, her hair cropped short and her sleeves torn up, revealing intricate tattoos. You shoot the woman with your best smile and she grins back.
“Ah, you must be the General, people talk about your greatness but never your beauty. I am Keana and this is my team.” the woman kneels in front of you and takes your hand, planting a soft kiss onto the back of it, making your face heat up at the gesture. 
You were quite literally lost for words until you felt someone’s body press against your shoulder. 
“That’s because I am the general.” Poe’s voice rang clear and authoritative, and the woman before you quickly stands up and throws Poe a sheepish smile. 
“Terribly sorry for the mistake, I assumed that this fine lady here is the general due to her uniform.” Her words made you spin around to see Poe in his flight suit, helmet tucked under his arm and you try hard not to laugh.
While Keana rounded her group, you tip your head towards Poe with a small smile on your face. 
“I think she called you ugly, baby.” you whisper and his head turns almost too sharply at your utterance of the nickname. 
Poe Dameron was far from ugly. He was indeed one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever laid your eyes on. His scruffy stubble and flawless boyish curls made him look like an effortless prince. His character and charisma only heightened his attractiveness and he had a smile and glint in his eyes that made him irresistible. Poe rolled his eyes at your statement, a smirk evidently trying not to show on his lips as he tried to hold back his next statement. 
“Come on, no snarky remark?” you say, utterly impressed by his control. 
Poe gave you a pointed look and sauntered off to his x-wing, which was suspiciously parked in the right spot. You stared a little longer at the pilot, your eyes trailing a little lower than your liking and you pout and turn on your heel to join Keana and her little group for their tour. 
You knew the man was up to something but you just could not prove what he was doing, or not doing. 
 .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
By the time the sun had begun to set, you were completely bugged out. Poe teasing you at any point of day had been a daily occurrence since the both of you touched down onto the base. But today he hadn’t said a word directly to you and you were lying if you weren’t slightly worried about it. He also had been tactfully avoiding you all day and you were positive he was when you swear you saw a rush of orange in your peripheral when you finished your tour. 
Fortunately for you, you ran into the best two people that would know where Poe was.
“Finn! Rey! Where’s Dameron?” you panted, running to catch up with them.
“His room, I think. He was weirdly quiet and working on something the last time I saw him.” Finn said and Rey nodded along. 
“Room. Got it. Thanks.” you punctuated before running off to Poe’s room. 
You gathered yourself when you found Poe’s door, combing your fingers through your hair and then straightening out your blouse before keying in the passcode. You walked through the doorway as soon as the door whoshed open, only to find Poe staring blankly at his datapad on his bed. He didn’t even turn to look at you, his eyes carefully trained onto what he was reading. 
“Dameron! Everything okay?” You chirpily asked as you invited yourself to sit at his desk, turning the chair to face him. 
The silence that rang after your question was deafening. You narrowed your eyes at the man before you, trying to figure out why he was giving you the silent treatment. You pursed your lips and clicked your tongue as Poe subtly shifted, still paying you no attention at all. 
Poe hated the way you called him by his last name. He sure as hell didn’t care if he was addressed with it by any other person, but by you? A fiery rage burned in him, fuelled by the way the new recruit flirted with you and the way you had blushed and flushed even with him standing right behind you. He shouldn’t be this angry, not with you, never with you. 
“So the tour went great as usual, Keana is really nice and her team is great, I think that they would do just fine with our people.” You went on, breaking through the silence again as Poe types something into the data pad. 
Poe’s anger was slowly growing and he focused all his might into not losing his temper and doing something that he might regret. He continued to ignore you as if you weren’t sitting there with a beautiful smile on your face that was slowly melting into a frown that he equally enjoyed. He saw your hand move and realised that you were waving at him, trying to force his attention to you. 
You sighed, still not willing to admit defeat. Your brain races through the scenarios in which you could get the General’s attention when suddenly, all the lights go off, making you gasp. You scrambled off the chair and ran to the door, trying to open it but it wouldn’t budge.
“What, never had a power cut in your life, darling?” Poe’s voice dripped like venom over you from the bed, making you slowly turn around to face him.
He was finally looking at you, a glare of pure disdain etched upon his handsome face that was illuminated by the screen of his data pad, flipped your stomach at its intensity. 
Why was he so angry?
His face turns back to the data pad, resuming its previous deadpan expression. You walk over to his bed and sit at the edge, watching quietly as he works, the anger seemingly radiating out of his body and making you feel small. 
You blinked after a while, realising that this man actually had no right to be mad at you. All this time, it had been him annoying the hell out of you. Why should you feel small? You straighten your back and scooched closer, your hand near his. 
You poked him, digging your finger into his side, only for no response. Whatever he was mad about must be making him really angry, because on a normal day, Poe Dameron would be the most sensitive person on base. 
“Daaameron. Dameron, Dameron, Dameron, Dameron.” You jabbed away, but to no avail. 
Inside, Poe was enjoying this. He wanted to see how far you would go to gain his attention. Somehow he knew that you were aware of what he was doing because you suddenly stopped your jabbing, your hand dropping back to your side once again. 
You took a good look at him, wondering if he was worth the risk of losing everything. Your mind was probably leaning towards your riskier side as you eyed the way he sat, his legs and torso forming a seat that you couldn’t resist wanting to sit on. Your intrusive thoughts got the best of you as you quickly climbed into the bed and slid onto his lap. Poe’s eyes widen for a split second and his free hand grasps at your hips as he makes eye contact as he huffs out a breath. Then suddenly, his face goes stoic again. 
He turns to his data pad that was still clutched in his other hand and continues to read, as if unbothered by your presence. Your hands bunch up his shirt and you hold onto him as you grimace. You shifted a little in his lap and felt his grip on your hip tighten slightly, making you smirk. A part of you was nervous, being in such a compromising position with your general, but Poe could have thrown you off his body eons ago if he wanted to. 
Instead he sat as still as possible, only his eyes and chest slightly moving. If Poe was the one who was nervous, he clearly wasn’t showing it. You blatantly checked him out, his pretty boy curls flopping here and there, the curve of his necklace as it rested against his glorious neck, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed, the slight part of his plump lips that you oh so craved for, all zeroing you to the point of why you were there in the first place. 
You steadied yourself, sliding your hands to either side of his shoulder, feeling the muscles underneath his jacket. Even with you feeling him up, Poe didn’t budge a single inch, his hand now gently resting on the curve of your hip. You eyed Poe’s stubble longingly, your heart thudding inside your chest as you gazed at how perfect the curve of his jaw was. A few of Poe’s fingers lightly squeezed at your hip as if he were daring you to make your next move too. 
You figured “Why not.”
What could you possibly lose now, you were already straddling him.
You grabbed at his jacket and leaned in, pressing a feathery kiss to a spot between his neck and where his jaw started, and to your absolute joy, another soft gasp emitting from his lips. You let go of his jacket and let your chest lay flat against his, sliding your hands around his neck and smiling against his neck before pressing another kiss and feeling a light shudder.
“Give up Dameron.” you murmured. 
Poe’s eyes remained glued to the datapad but you knew he wasn't concentrating anymore with the way he started to breathe, slow and shallow, as if he were focusing on composing himself. You slowly run your fingers through his locks, your nails grazing the nape of his neck, gently coaxing him to relax when suddenly you feel his breath jump.
“Where’s that aggravating voice of yours now, General?” You purred into his ear and felt a growing hardness beneath you, along with your own swirling heat at the pit of your abdomen.
One of your hands make their way back to his face, gently grabbing at his jaw as you push yourself off him again, effectively grinding your hot core into his just to rile the pilot up. Poe’s eyes were half lidded now and his data pad hung loosely in his grip as his hand had drifted down onto his bed, laying limp. You pushed his chin up, forcing him to make eye contact with you.
When those swirling dark brown eyes snapped to yours, you realised how much trouble you were in, just from a single glance. 
“Poe…” you whispered, so softly that you doubted he heard you despite the lack of space between the two of you.
Poe’s free hand snaked up your back and held onto the back of your neck in an instant, pulling you towards him as your lips finally crashed together. The kiss was urgent and Poe wasted no time snaking the hand at your waist around your body to keep you pinned against him, making your mouth drop open, welcoming Poe’s tongue as he pushed himself up to kiss you harder. 
You’ve been wanting this for months and the satisfaction that rushed over you was like no other. You didn’t care about the fact that you couldn’t breathe, you just needed to feel him against you. Poe pulls away with a sharp intake of breath as you grind down hard on his growing erection. His eyes were still on yours, piercing right through your soul.
“You’re starting something that you’re gonna regret, sweetheart.” He whispered as he readjusted the way you were straddling him.
“What are you gonna do? Throw me out of the resistance?” You laughed but it died down instantly when a smirk curled itself onto his kiss-addled lips. 
Poe had kept everything he felt about you pented up for months and now he was fuelled with a passion like no other. He flipped you over and towered over you, watching as your face went flush and your eyes grew wide. 
“Oh you’ll see.” He simply said before leaning down to kiss you again, pressing his entire body against your frame as your hands flew to his hair. 
He knew you having your hands in his hair turns you on as much as it does him, but he tutted against your lips and pulled your hands down from his head anyway. 
“You're really a brat.” he says lowly.
“Poe please…” you begged him with your eyes, not wanting him to stop.
“Brats don't get to touch me.” He gets on his knees and towered over you, unbuckling his belt as you watched on, completely aroused by the way he tugs it. 
He twisted his belt and looped it around the buckle a few times before you knew what he was doing. He slipped the makeshift cuff onto your wrists and secured you to the bed, making you giggle nervously, tugging your wrists and showing you that you were going nowhere. 
“There you go, pretty girl.” he smiled cruelly, tapping your cheek with his fingers and you gasped slightly at his demeanour. 
“What should I do with you?” he asked mockingly as his hands trailed to your shirt, undoing the first few buttons. 
“I’d save the best for last,” he smiled to himself before raising his eyebrows at you and ripping the rest of your shirt. “and I’ll start with my appetiser.” 
Your breathing had quickened and you were following Poe’s every move. His fingers had moved to the waistband of your pants and he watched your eyes widen as he hooked his fingers. 
“Want me to stop?” Poe questioned, slightly amused by your silence.
“No, no, please don’t!” You whine, your hands tugging uselessly at their bonds. 
“As you wish, baby.” he gives you another cheeky smirk before pulling your pants down, along with your underwear, exposing you to the cold air of his room. He was a little further away now and you tried to make your eyes adjust to the dark so that you could see him.
That's when you felt a warm breath against your cunt. You wanted to snap your legs close but strong hands clamped you down and a casual chuckle emitted from your core. A soft kiss in your inner thigh rubbed all the feelings of anxiety away and Poe’s hand began to rub soft circles in the plush of your thigh that made you sink further into his bed. 
“Oh, Poe…” was all you could say as his breath fanned your exposed core again. 
“That’s right, angel, love hearing you beg for me.” Poe said sultry, almost to your cunt rather than to you. 
He pressed a feather light kiss onto your clit and you keened, a soft airy moan filling the room. 
“These moans are mine.” Poe said softly from between your legs.
His hands travelled slightly higher, his big palms and fingers feeling the planes of your skin. 
“This body is mine.” He said again, almost to himself. 
Something clicked inside you and you finally figured out what got you here in the first place. 
“You’re mine.” This time, the words were uttered so softly that you were pretty sure you had lost Poe to his own thoughts. 
Suddenly with your last act of defiance, you found yourself saying: 
“You jealous, pretty boy?”
That's when all hell broke loose and you knew your next few thoughts were going to be incoherent. 
Poe’s tongue lapped up your arousal that had been pooling from grinding on him and his words, making you arch your back and push your pussy into his face. His hands travelled back to your core and held you open, as he started to devour you like a man starved. 
Nothing in the galaxy could have prepared you for the way your general started eating you out. He ate your spend like he earned it, licking and slurping and moaning into your pussy as if it gave him life to so what he was doing. His beautiful nose rubbed into your clit just right and your whimpering only fuelled his fire because he latched his mouth onto your clit and pushed two fingers into you without a question.
You sweared, through your haze ridden mind, that he smirked against you as you started to writhe and gasp for air as his fingers reached the delicious spot that you yearned for. You were shaking for him within a few minutes, hands desperately trying to grab onto something but failing as your orgasm ripped through you like a hailstorm. 
Poe knew you were being too loud but didn’t have the heart or the coherent thought to stop you from screaming his name at the top of your lungs as your clit throbbed between his lips and your cunt clenched tightly around his fingers that were still trying their best to piston in and out of you. 
Poe brought you down with several gentle kitten licks and soft kisses onto your skin as his hand began to knead gently at your flesh. He heard his belt rattling again, followed by a soft whimper that tore at his heart strings, causing him to crawl up your body with soft words leaving his lips. 
“Okay, baby, you’re okay. You did so well.” he said through your gasps and gently untied you from his bed frame.
He brought your wrist to his lips and kissed them gently before rubbing them comfortingly. Your whimpers quietened down and your soft breathes made Poe smile as he brought his face close to yours. 
“Hello.” He says as you pry your eyes open. 
“Hey.” You breathe, taking in his pretty face before leaning up for a kiss. 
Poe caught your lips gracefully, his kisses softer and more calculated. You tasted yourself on him and you realised what you had just done with your general. Poe could probably sense your hesitation when your side of the kiss had a sense of unsurity. 
“Baby?” he asked as he pulled away. 
“Is this right?” You asked, searching his eyes.
“Yes, baby, yes. I want this and it feels right to me. Does it feel right to you?” He says, reassuringly rubbing at your cheek with his thumb. 
You smiled. This was your Poe. 
“Yes, Poe. It feels right.” you giggled slightly as Poe sighed in relief. 
“So you gonna fuck me now?” you raised your eyebrow and let your eyes droop, causing the now accustomed smirk to form on Poe’s face with your words. 
“Didn’t think you’d ask.” Poe answered in his usual confident tone. 
Poe got rid of his pants faster than you could ever imagine. To say that you were slightly intimidated by his size was definitely an understatement. He reached over you to his bedside drawer and pulled out a condom, slipping it on and letting his length drop between the both of you. 
You stared incredulously at his cock that was laid out on your stomach. You’d definitely feel him in your guts for days after this. You found yourself trailing a hand down to his cock, wrapping your fingers around him to test his weight. 
Poe moaned dangerously low as you started to stroke his cock, his head thrown back almost immediately. You stroked him a few more times before lining up his tip at your entrance, taking your time as you slowly let him push himself in. 
“Maker, Poe.” You cried as he slowly bottomed out, never feeling this full in your entire life.
“It's okay, baby, I’m here.” Poe’s voice was strained from the way your pussy gripped around him and the both of you knew it was only a matter of a few minutes before you both were pushed past breaking point. 
You nodded and Poe started to move slowly, your synchronised moans and groans echoing around the dark room once again. Poe leaned down and began to slowly suck at your exposed breast that had popped out of their bra in your previous tousle. You arched your back and threaded a hand up his locks, pulling him tightly against you as your other hand generously scratched up his back, making him moan hungrily against your tit. 
“Fuck baby, you feel so fucking good.” he groaned. 
His movements increased with sudden vigour, picking up the pace to match your beautiful moans. The amazing drag of his cock in your wet channel made you want to float and you feel yourself losing yourself to him. Poe’s hand ended up between the two of you and you knew he was close as his fingers started to rub gently at your already abused clit. 
“Come with me Poe, please.” You whispered and he nodded immediately.
“Now.” he breathed and you came with a choked groan as you milked him, pushing him and prolonging his release with each clench of your cunt. 
He pumped himself inside you a few more times before letting his legs give way, collapsing ungracefully on top of you. The both of you spent the next few minutes catching your breath, completely spent from your irresponsible activities.
Poe gets up first, pressing a gentle kiss onto your shoulder before pulling himself out of you with a groan. He pulls off the condom and you hear him tossing it aside and gently lowering himself next to you as you admire the mess you made of him. 
You gently run your knuckle against his cheekbone and watch his eyes flutter close. You shuffle closer and turn around, tucking yourself into his chest and pulling his arms around you, feeling incredibly clingy after that vigorous session. 
“Who knew you had an off button inside you.” Poe spoke up after a while and you swatted at his bicep, causing him to chuckle and cuddle you closer. 
You suddenly felt vulnerable in his arms, turning to face him once more. 
“Poe?” you whisper.
“Hmm?” 
“D-do you like me?” you ask, hugging your arms around your own naked body. 
Silence filled the room and you thought you were done for, that this was all for nothing when suddenly, a loud laugh emitted from Poe, causing you to jump slightly.
“You’re telling me, you slid into my lap and let me fuck you how I wanted to fuck you and you’re now asking if I like you?! Are you dumb?” he cackled through his words and you pouted. 
“I don’t like you, stupid. I love you.” Poe said in one final sentence that made you almost stop functioning. 
“You- I…” you tried to say but Poe cut you off with a kiss, a kiss so gentle almost like he was afraid to break you. 
“I love you too Poe.” You breathed the second his lips gave you the tiniest bit of space. 
“I know.” He smiled at you before giving you one last peck. “Can we go back to cuddling now and talk about everything when the power comes back?” 
“By talk you mean-”
“Do I need to spell it out, commander? Now hush.” he slyly cuts you off and you smile as his arms wrap around you once again, your heart and mind finally settling in the same place. 
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Text
Wasted On You
AN: No one asked for this but it came to me, and I wanted it so, hope y'all enjoy lol.
(Un-beta’d)
In which Poe is a handsy, overly-affectionate drunk.
Rated: M+ (this is smut so, i mean, you’ve been warned?) Words: 1,863 Pairing: Poe Dameron x F!Reader Warnings: alcohol consumption, kissing, frottage/thigh riding, semi-public sex, soft!Poe, sub!Poe (if you squint), fluff, PDA, cursing, Poe being the adorable menace that he is. AO3
——————
The spotchka sloshes out of your glass as you clink it with the others at the table, the sounds of raucous laughter and general gaiety filling the room as everyone celebrates the Resistance’s latest win. It’d been a big one, one that had been fought for long and hard; years of sleepless nights and an innumerable number of undercover missions later, it was finally over. Everyone was thrilled, of course, but none more so than Poe Dameron. 
You take a sip and smile as you watch him cheer, his elation and relief obvious. He’d been neck deep in the middle of it all as the General’s right-hand man, taking charge of at least a third of the missions that had gotten all of you to this point; if anyone deserved to celebrate, it was definitely Poe. 
It’s why you haven’t tried to pull him away yet, why you haven’t stopped him from drinking jet juice like it’s water. You know you probably should but…he’s just having so much fun, and you can’t bear to be the one that ends it. He’s definitely sloshed, laughing at the dumbest things and stumbling around like a baby that’s just learning how to walk. It’s been pretty amusing to witness, if you’re honest.  
You watch as the people he’s been speaking with move on, clapping him on the shoulder as they head toward another group that’s taken up residence in the back corner. Once he’s alone, he sits quietly, smiling softly to himself for a moment, before his brow suddenly furrows in confusion. He looks around, an exaggerated frown on his lips as he searches for something. When his eyes meet yours, his smile returns, wide and a little dopey, as he stands to his feet and unsteadily shuffles over. 
You chuckle when he plops down onto the chair beside you, his arm draping over your shoulders as he leans in so close, his nose bumps against your cheek. 
“There you are, sweetheart,” he drawls, his voice raspy from all the cheering and screaming. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” 
An involuntary shiver runs through you at the roughness of his voice, conjuring memories of the other times he’s sounded like this for you (his forehead pressed to yours, breath puffing against your lips as he pushes into you again and again—). He pulls you closer, his lips brushing your cheek as his other hand falls to your knee. 
“Maker,” he groans, kissing his way over your jaw toward your ear. “Baby, you smell delicious.” 
You tilt your head slightly to better accommodate him, your chuckle a little throaty. “I do?” 
He hums, pushing his nose against the side of your neck and breathing in deeply.  
You chew your lip, eyes darting around the room as he resumes kissing you, this time on your neck, the hand on your knee slowly inching its way up to your thigh. 
“Poe,” you warn, squirming a little in your chair as you halt his hand’s upward progression with your own. “We’re in public.” 
He grunts, nosing aside the collar of your shirt to nip at your collarbone. “So?” 
Your chuckle morphs into a whine as he worries a mark there with his teeth, arousal pooling in your gut at the mild sting. He groans into your neck when your fingers find their way into his hair, curling around the soft, thick strands. Gently, you pull him off of you, his eyelids heavy, mouth slightly agape as he stares at you. You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to the way he looks at you, so much unabashed love and adoration, so much want. Unable to resist, you lean in and kiss him softly on the lips. 
 As you pull away again, you say. “C’mon, flyboy, let me take you home.” 
The two of you say goodnight to everyone before stumbling from the cantina, Poe’s arm laid over your shoulders. Your arm wraps around his waist in an effort to keep him upright, only to have him lean heavily against your side, humming contentedly as he buries his face in your neck again. You manage to get him to the door just outside the living quarters hall before he starts trying to grope you, hand slipping not-so-stealthily toward your chest.  
“Stop it,” you chuckle, rolling your eyes as you swat his hand away. 
He snorts into your neck, his mouth once again exploring the area. “Stop what?” he asks between kisses, lips dragging over your skin. “‘m not doing anything.” 
You hum skeptically, pausing to key the entry code to the door. As you wait for it to slide open, he pulls your earlobe between his lips, his teeth nipping at the edges. Your breath hitches in surprise, and he must hear it because he smiles. You drag him into the hall once the door opens, silently thanking the Maker that everyone seems to still be out celebrating. 
Poe’s quarters aren’t far, and normally take just a few minutes to reach, however, what should be a quick trek is hindered by the fact that a certain drunk commander can’t seem to stop touching you. You fend him off without issue, though, biting back your laughter at the terrible pick-up lines he’s throwing your way. 
“You do know that I can’t carry you, right?” you tease, snorting as he knocks you into the wall with his weight again. 
He chuckles as he attempts to right himself, but only succeeds in making you even more lopsided. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t help that I am trapped in the gravitational field of your smile.” 
You scoff, shaking your head fondly as you turn the corner to the hall that (blessedly) houses Poe’s quarters. “You’re an idiot.” 
He laughs again, and you grunt as he leans into your side yet again, his breath puffing against your cheek. “Yeah, but I’m your idiot.” 
It’s cheesy, but the truth of the statement makes something warm lodge itself in your heart all the same. 
You’re almost there, can literally see his door as you both plod awkwardly down the hall. He’s quieter now, but you’re so focused on getting him into his room, you don’t think to ask why.  
Without warning, he leans into you again, throwing you off balance and pinning you to the wall with his hips. Before you can scold him, he covers your lips with his own, stealing your words as well as the breath from your lungs. He tastes like a Keshian spice roll, sweet and a little tangy, and you melt into him, your fingers curling into his shirt to keep him against you. His tongue is warm, insistent, as it slides hungrily against yours, coaxing a soft moan from your throat.  
He sighs, grinding against you clumsily as he devours your mouth. His hands are everywhere; on your face, your hips, your ass, his strong fingers gripping and pulling, manipulating your body like he would his ship. You whine as he slots his thigh between your legs, pushing it up against your core, mumbling something about wanting to see you fall apart. You moan at the friction, canting your hips as he pulls his mouth from yours to groan into your neck. Your fingers weave into his hair as you both continue to grind against each other, the pleasure building steadily in your gut.  
“Poe,” you sigh breathlessly, eyes flying open when you remember where you are. “Baby, your room is right there.” 
He grunts in response, his mouth latching onto your neck.  
You open your mouth to respond, then promptly choke on a moan when he shifts his leg, the movement pressing the seam of your pants against your clit.  
“Maker, I love all the pretty, little sounds you make,” he slurs, voice raspy as he pulls back to meet your eyes. “You gonna come for me, sweetheart?” 
The greedy look in his eyes sends another jolt of pleasure through you, your breath hitching as you cant your hips, seeking your release.
“Poe,” you whine, telling him that you’re close (so close), that you just need a little more— 
He shushes you softly, pressing his forehead against yours, his own hips still rutting lazily against you, and when you come, he kisses you, swallowing your moans.  
The first thing you notice when you come back to yourself is that Poe’s rock-hard cock is digging into your hip. When you open your eyes, he’s watching you, his smile soft, eyes heavy-lidded, still blown wide with lust. 
That’s when you remember where you are. 
Shit.  
Panic slices through you as you wriggle in his hold, trying to push yourself off of the wall (and his thigh). You’re mortified—had anyone seen you? Had they heard? You groan (and not in the pretty way Poe likes), eyes darting around in search of any onlookers. Poe chuckles, nose nudging against yours as he tries to reclaim your attention. 
As you return your attention to your menace of a boyfriend, you can’t seem to stop the laugh that escapes you, clapping a hand over your mouth to stifle the sound. He laughs too, snorting when you place your other hand over his mouth. You smile at each other as your combined giggles subside, Poe’s eyes crinkling a little by his eyes.  
“Let’s get you to bed, commander,” you say finally, fingers toying with the curls at the base of his neck. 
He nods, a little glassy-eyed as he stares at you with a fondness and affection that makes your stomach flip.  
When you (finally) make it into his room, he attacks you with his lips again, licking into your mouth as his hands clumsily attempt to remove your clothes. He walks backwards, bringing you along with him as he untucks your shirt from your pants. You chuckle as he struggles with your belt, grunting in frustration when he can’t seem to get it unbuckled. He huffs after a moment, abandoning his attempts and slipping beneath your shirt instead.  
Suddenly, he grunts, tripping and falling heavily onto his bed and pulling you right along with him. You laugh softly, pushing yourself up on your forearms to look down at him; his eyes are glazed with want, dark curls splayed across his blanket in a messy halo, eyelids heavy. 
“Slow down, baby,” you whisper, smiling softly as you lean in to kiss him again. 
He melts into the mattress, moaning into your mouth as his hands slide up your back, hips pushing against yours. You grind down onto him slowly, gently, swallowing every sigh and whimper that falls from between his lips. He comes with a choked moan not long after, fingers digging into your skin as his hips stutter against yours. 
You pull back when you feel him sag in relief beneath you, your hands combing through his hair. His eyes are closed, body limp and heavy, and you realize—he fell asleep. You snort, smiling fondly at him before pressing a kiss to his forehead. As you try to slip from his hold though, he tightens his arms around you, murmuring softly for you to stay. 
Unable to deny him anything, you do.
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downbadf0rficppl · 2 months
Text
always been you
Poe Dameron x F!Reader
Summary: Miscommunications happen. Less so when you work in communications, but they happen.
Word Count: 4.8K
Warnings: Slight blood warning, a smidge of angst, and a handful of smut :)
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Home meant different things to different people. To some, it meant green rolling hills and the sound of wild animals running through the forests, some hunting, some hiding. To some, it looked more like the cold cityscapes of somewhere like Corellia or Daiyu - where day could be night and night could be day because the city never slept. More like the planet never slept.
To you, home meant a dark room in the back of the compound on D'Qar, where you sat for hours on end. It meant the whirring of plane engines and the whooshing of blast doors. It meant ration meals and celebrating when there were enough jogan fruits in season to make jogan fruitcake. It meant the constant fear that someone you loved may not come home.
You had grown up on Dantooine, maintaining the old rebel base there with your father - an ex-pilot with the rebellion. He'd taught you all about the world of space flight and you'd decided early on that maybe you preferred the ground. Oh, the irony.
At 19, you moved to Coruscant - under no threat from enemies, the base on Dantooine was not needed. You moved away to find a job that could give a life of comfort. Maybe you just needed some excitement in your life that didn't involve exploding wires or stealing your dad's glasses.
When General Organa started recruiting for the resistance, you were one of the first ones there. You distanced yourself from your father's legacy, not wanting the pressure of being someone's someone to be held over your head.
You settled into the anonymity of comms comfortably, making decent friends with your co-workers.
Days came and went working for the resistance. Soon enough, you'd been for a year, and then 2, and then it had been so long since you'd left Dantooine that you could barely remember what your life was like there.
The cantina was empty when you walked in. To your knowledge, black and blue squadrons were out on a field mission, but no one else was in sight. You walked around the base, looking for any signs of life. Dear Maker, had they all evacuated and forgotten about you.
You walked over to the med wing, hoping to see someone. And you saw, well, everyone. Apparently, half of those on base had come down with food poisoning. Wonderful.
You were called in to speak with General Organa, who assigned you double and triple shifts, considering you were the only one of 6 comms officers who hadn't come down with food poisoning. Wonderful.
You had spent all day, without rest, in comms, checking data logs for gold squadron, assisting in decoding transmission, and helping base mechanics with routine repairs. Essentially a normal day in the office, but six-fold the responsibilities. You went to bed, with your head swimming with responsibilities for the next day - hopefully, someone would be able to help you.
You woke up to the sound of your alarm blaring loudly. You groggily headed to the cantina for a cup of Caf before heading back to comms.
You picked some undecoded transmissions, before starting on some reports for General Organa. You barely had enough time to stop for a meal, grabbing the first thing you could see before heading back to comms.
Black and Blue squadron were currently MIA. They had radioed in earlier in the morning saying they were ok without radio connection while there was a shortage of comms officers. Still, it didn't mean you weren't worried about them.
"Black Leader to Base, come in."
You scrambled over to your headset and plugged it into the system, "Alpha 4 to Black Leader, you're a go for Base. What seems to be the problem?"
"We're running low on fuel, any republic supporters in the outer rim?" Poe's voice came through as you tried to lock on to his location.
"Where you are, the chances are slim, Black Leader." You sighed, as his location pops up on the screen. He was so far in the Outer Rim, where so many remained Empire supporters. Even with many ports on neighbouring planets, there were few ways that they could make it out of them safely.
You had an idea. "Black Leader, can you make a single jump."
"Just about."
"I'll send the coordinates, get ready to jump."
While Black and Blue Squadron jumped, you connected another line.
"Hi, dad."
"Hi, sweetheart." Your father's tired voice rang through the headset, "What can I do for you?"
"I'm sorry to bother you, dad-"
"It's ok, sweetheart. What do you need?"
"I have 2 squadrons that need fuel. Any chance you could help?"
"Of course, sweetheart. In fact, I've just seen them enter the atmosphere."
"Thanks, dad. Love you."
"I love you too."
Your dad cut the line to go and help the pilots. You swallowed the lump in your throat. You always felt guilty asking your father for help. He never quite knew how to say no.
You stayed up well into the early hours of the morning, signing off paperwork and compiling mission reports for Captain Dameron and Captain Wexley to sign off on.
In fact, you had worked so late that you heard Black and Blue Squadron's land the next morning. You heard them raucously walk through the halls to the cantina. You sighed. A small break wouldn't do any harm, right?
Wrong. As soon as you got up, a beeping from your headset rang through the room. General Holdo needed some data to do with her mission, so you were back to sifting through mission reports to send her what she needed.
By the time, you had signed off with her, Jak (one of your fellow comms officers) strolled into comms.
He ruffled your hair affectionately, "You're a legend, four."
You had known Jak since your days on Coruscant. You had shared an apartment when you were new to the city and he really showed you the ropes. You probably wouldn't be as trusted by the resistance as you were, had it not been for Jak.
"How are you feeling?" You asked, eyes still trained on the screen.
"I'm fine." He settled down next to you, grabbing a headset, "You, on the other hand, have seen better days. Maker, have you even looked at yourself in the mirror!"
You punched him in the arm, "My name's not Captain I-cannot-survive-without-my-mirrors Dameron." He feigned an injury, falling onto the floor and hollering in pain. The delirium of sleep deprivation was getting you, as you doubled over in fits of giggles, tears streaming down your face.
In fact, you were laughing so hard, you didn't even hear Captain Dameron walk in.
"What's so funny?" He said, walking in and clapping Jak on the back. The two of you looked at each other, and burst into more fits of giggles. "You know what, I'm just not going to ask." Jak handed him the stack of papers that you had left for him to sign off.
Dameron walked out with the sheets, and you stood up to stretch your back. "You should get some food in you," Jak nods towards the Cantina, "I can hold the fort down until you get back."
The cantina is practically empty when you walk in, and you grab a sandwich before heading back to comms. What greets you is a relieving sight. Two of the other comms officers have returned to comms.
"You look rough," Drex said, nursing a healing tonic from med bay. Clearly, they were still suffering the after-effects of the food poisoning.
"So, I've been told," you elbowed Jak in the ribs as he laughed heartily. You sat down and returned to the paperwork you had left behind. A connection came in, which Jak responded to immediately.
After a beat, he beckoned you over, handing you the headset, "It's your favourite. Captain Dameron."
You let out a huff, before putting the headset on. You sat down.
"Alpha 4 for Black Leader, you're a go."
"Well, hello, my new favourite comms officer. How are you on this fine morning?" He said, smugness colouring his tone as he prepared to take off.
"I hope you aren't trying to flirt with me, Poe?" You smirked through your question.
"Oh, I am. I most definitely am." Poe laughed.
"How unfortunate for you." Poe laughed again.
You led him through his routine surveillance trip, making funny quips throughout. Poe responds almost exclusively through chortles and guffaws.
"How come I've never actually spoken to you on base?"
"I don't know, maybe because you've always got one of those pretty girls on your arm?"
"Oh, you're real pretty, Alpha 4, just gotta give me a chance, hun." Poe thought you were pretty.
You laugh again, "In your dreams, Captain."
There was a beat of silence, before Poe piped up, "someone special at home?" You swallow guiltily.
Ever since you first met Poe, you had been head over heels in love with him. Sure he was good-looking, and his reputation in the bedroom preceded him, but beyond that, he was charming, funny, and he cared. About everyone. Not just his superiors, or his friends, but even stupid kids who had no idea what they were doing when they landed on base.
You thought of his face, his beautifully warm brown eyes, his stupidly floppy hair, "Yeah, someone real special. I'm just hoping he'll give me a chance back on base."
"He'd be stupid not to."
"You're just saying that."
"I mean it, 4, he'd have to be blind to not see what a catch you are." You can tell by Poe's tone that he is being genuine.
"Thanks, Poe, you're clear to return to base. See on the other side."
You hear Poe land as you head back to your room. He calls your name as he is walking.
"Hey, 4, wait up!" You wait patiently as he, and BB8, catch up to you. "About this guy."
"Poe, let it go."
"I'm serious, 4. I can help you get that date."
"No, I mean it, Poe. Let it go. You can't help me here." You stare straight into his eyes. Big mistake. You get lost easily, wanting to let the warmth cocoon you into a false safety until the rest of eternity.
You shake yourself back to reality, walking away from him and leaving him confused and annoyed.
Days pass, and you find that Poe has pushed himself further and further away from you. You were still his chosen comms officer, but he avoided you on the base. You felt bad. He'd practically confessed that he thought you were pretty and you'd turned him away, letting him believe that there was someone you were pining after. Even though that person was Poe.
You had tried to talk to Poe before he went on a mission alone to Coruscant, but he walked away, feigning that he was busy. He even deflected your questions in the air, and turned his transmission signal off when he got to Coruscant. You were fuming.
How dare he put himself in danger with no chance of backup?
Realistically, your anger wasn't anger at all. You were worried for Poe. Even if he wasn't your Poe.
You vowed to have that conversation with him when he returned.
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Poe couldn't stop thinking about you. He hadn't since he first spoke to you about 6 months ago. Before that, he just thought you were pretty. But once he realised that, not only were you beautiful, but you were also smart and had a sarcasm to match his, well he was a goner.
When you told him, that there was someone else, he saw red. He wanted to put his first through the fucker's face, but goddammit, he would do anything to help you.
So he offered to help you get that date. It was a mostly harmless offer, and he didn't really expect you to take him up on it, but he put it out there nonetheless.
What he didn't expect was for you to raise your voice and storm away. He was shocked.
He figured he overstepped some undrawn boundary, and he felt guilty. So he tried to give you space, give you distance. He'd give you anything if you even mentioned it once. But, jealousy took over his previously well-intentioned thoughts. If you wanted someone else, fine, you could have them. But Poe couldn't watch you get them.
He didn't want to take the mission on Coruscant. He wasn't a spy, he was a flamboyant and show-off-y pilot. But he didn't want to see you in another man's arms. So he took it.
That was what landed him in his current predicament: tied to a chair in the basement of one Zek Shadej - an ex-smuggler who turned to an arms dealership for the higher paycheck.
Zek slaps Poe. He demands, once again, to know what a pilot for the Resistance is doing at a gala for the low lives of the galaxy. He didn't word it that way but the sentiment still stands. Poe says nothing, just spitting a mixture of blood and saliva at Zek's shoes. Zek curses and heads to the door: "I'm done with him. Dispose of him."
The guards left in the room stalk toward him, blasters unsheathed and ready to fire. Poe uses the pin you gave him to cut through the ropes binding his hands.
It was his fifth birthday on base, he reckoned. With different systems, and different lengths of orbits, it was hard to know for sure, but he knew the rest of Black Squadron were planning his celebration for today. So he remained in bed, lying on top of the sheets, head propped up on his arm.
A gentle knock rang through his room. He'd told the person to come in, and you did. Armed with a giddy smile and a small wrapped package. Poe had no idea where you had found wrapping paper, or why you would buy him a present but here you were.
"Jess said it was your birthday today. Thought I'd give you something neat." You said, approaching him nervously. He swung his legs and sat upright, pulling your arm so you were standing right in front of him. He looks up at you through his eyelashes, taking in your kind face. You and Poe were hardly friends, but how he wished you could be more.
"So, what did you get for me, pretty girl?" Poe rests his callous hardened hands on your hips - he liked the feel of your soft skin under his palms. He also liked how sensitive you were to his touch - your flushed expression and lust-filled gaze confirmed it.
You handed him the small parcel, "I hope you like it."
He takes it from you, pulling you to sit beside him. He opens it with careful hands to find a small pin. A Yavin Parakeet. Poe's favourite bird.
"They used to symbolise freedom. Like you do." You whispered the last part.
Poe had never wanted to kiss you so much.
Poe threw the chair he had been sitting on at one of the guards. He landed on the floor with a loud groan, his blaster skidding to a halt at Poe's feet. It was Poe's lucky day.
He shot the other 2 guards, dashing out of the basement onto the catering floor. He escaped through a back door, a few of the staff giving his bloody face and dishevelled appearance a double look. He sprinted through the streets to a docking station a few miles east. Zek sent a few men after him, but Poe was smart, and he knew Coruscant well. He dodged the men, and fired up his X-wing. He had Leia's intel safely stored in his shirt pocket.
His X-wing was severely damaged - his landing gear compromised and the transmission antenna bent at an awkward angle. He took off precariously - he knew he'd have to stop somewhere to fix the ship and refuel. He remembered the old outpost on Dantooine. Your dad's outpost.
He lightspeed jumped into the sector, breaking through the atmosphere mere seconds later. The landing was rough and he saw your father running towards the ship, blaster raised.
"Come out, slowly and unarmed. Do anything I don't like the look of, and I shoot."
"It's me. It's Poe. I came by a couple of days ago. I promise I mean no harm."
The old man lowered his blaster. He tucked his shoulder under Poe and helped him inside, "Let's get you looked at, son." Despite the pain, Poe smiled. Son. He liked that.
Your father patched Poe up, offering him a nice meal and a shower. While Poe cleaned up, your father called you.
"Hey, dad, what can I do for you?" You respond, your brain still focussed on the transmissions you were decoding.
"I wouldn't call if it wasn't necessary-"
"I know, Dad. What do you need?"
"I got one of your guys," your ears pricked up, "and his ship is damaged. I need to know how to fix it. Think you can help?"
"Yeah, of course. I don't remember sending anyone your way though, think you can tell me who it is?"
Your dad grunts as he climbs up the ladder, radio tucked under his chin, "yeah, it's the pretty boy from a few days ago. The captain. Can't remember his name."
"It's Dameron. Who're you talking to?" Poe comes out wiping his hands on a towel. Despite this man being your father, years in the resistance had warned him against trusting strangers.
"My daughter. She's telling me how to fix your ship."
"4? I wouldn't trust her anywhere near my ship."
"I heard that you know," you laughed. You brought up the specs for the X-wing, "I'll send you a copy of the spec - that's probably more useful than anything I have to say."
Your dad laughed and you sent him the specs.
"Good luck, boys," you ended the transmission.
The rest of the day was spent fixing the ship. Poe and your dad made good small talk - they were both pilots. They had a lot in common. They also both loved you. They had that in common too.
"Go clean up, Poe. I'll make us dinner." Your father said, standing up and heading toward the kitchen. Poe smiled. He liked this life.
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Poe was back on base by nightfall the next day. You waited for him as he got checked up on in med, and then you walked with him to his room. The silence was deafening.
You followed him into his room, watched his every movement. He milled about, putting on clean clothes, washing his hands, and combing through his hair. His whole body was still tensed up from the mission - you wanted to stop him, hug him, do something. But you couldn't. He didn't want you near him. He was angry at you, and rightfully so.
"Your dad's nice." You looked up at him. Poe still had his back turned, but his shoulder had relaxed. You wanted to run your fingers down his back. "Peculiar, but nice."
You smiled softly, "He's lonely. Not that fun living on an abandoned base in the middle of nowhere."
Poe sat down on his chair, and you walked towards him. You placed your hands on his shoulder, gently soothing the knots out of his muscles. He leaned his head back, a low moan of satisfaction left his throat. The sound went straight through your body, eliciting shivers.
"Talk to me. Tell me what went wrong," you whispered in his ear, not wanting to break the calmness that swept through the room.
Poe shook his head, bringing you in front of him. He leaned his head against your stomach, hands coming to rest at your hips. You tangled your fingers in his hair, and he grunted in appreciation. You shivered again.
He chuckled, "you like that?" Your face blushed a bright red. Poe laughed again, before leaning to kiss your stomach. He kissed up through the valley in between your breasts, and up your neck. He stayed there for a minute, nipping and suckling at your neck, before making his way to your face.
He was fully standing now, his hands moved to your face, and he gently dotted kisses everywhere. Your cheeks. Your eyes, which had fallen shut at his ministrations. Your forehead, then your chin. He kissed the sides of your lips, and you let out a soft moan, begging for more.
"Greedy, are we?" He asked, his voice much lower than before. You opened your eyes to see a smug grin painted on his face. You didn't care.
You grabbed his face and brought his lips to yours. It seems he got the memo because as soon as his lips touched yours, he took over. His tongue slipped into your mouth and stroked yours gently.
He tapped your thigh gently, a signal to jump, and he carried you over to his bed, depositing you on the edge gently, dislodging his lips from yours. He knelt down in front of the bed, pulling your closer to him by your legs.
"Tell me to stop." He looked up at you, his pupils blown wide, as he took your dishevelled appearance in. Like a predator looks at his prey.
"Please don't."
He pulled your boots and cargo pants off, kissing up your legs. The arousal pooled between your legs, and you moan.
"So fucking wet, and I haven't even touched you yet." You whine pathetically, trying to pull Poe closer to where you want him. He just laughs.
"Bet the other guy couldn't do this to you. That's why you need me, ain't that right?" You whine again, "Need me to take care of you, baby girl, ain't that right?"
"Please, Poe."
"Please what, baby girl? What do you need?" Poe whispers, cheekiness glinting in his eyes.
"Please, fuck me, Poe." He smiled.
"As you wish."
He pulled your underwear down your legs and stared enamoured between your trembling things, "Such a pretty fucking pussy."
You threw your head back as he dove face-first into your folds. He kissed your mound lightly, before rubbing soothing circles around your clit. You buck up, the pleasure unlike any you've ever known, and Poe presses a hand onto your abdomen, locking you in place.
"Don't deprive me of my meal, honey," He whispers into your pussy.
He continues his assault, testing the waters of what you did and didn't like. You liked when he went fast, when he went slow, you got impatient. Maybe it was time to teach you some patience. But the low whines and moans were too much for Poe to bear. Soon your thighs were clamped around his head as you let out a loud moan, and you came undone under his touch. He lapped up every last bit of your release as if he'd been left in the deserts of Jakku without any water for years. And the moans. Oh Maker, his moans. You thought it impossible for a man to enjoy himself that much. But from the way he gripped your thighs, and pulled his body in further, you could tell he never wanted to pull away.
You laid limp on the bed as Poe stood up, and peeled his clothes off his body. You stared shamelessly. It wasn't the first time you'd seen Poe shirtless, but you'd barred yourself from staring then. Now it was allowed.
He smiled at your shameless ogling, and grabbed your hand, pulling you to stand up, pressed against him. You could feel his still-clothed cock, pushing into your abdomen, and you could feel it throbbing at the contact. You sunk down onto your knees, hands fiddling with his zipper.
He pulled you away and shook his head. "Not now."
He pushes you back onto the bed and crawls over you, his lips reconnecting to yours. He had unzipped his pants and kicked off his boots, leaving a pile on the floor.
"Tell me if it hurts." Poe kisses under your jaw before pushing inside.
Holy Maker, he's big.
His cock stretches you out deliciously. He pushes into you until he's settled within you and waits for you to adjust. The initial pain fades into pleasure and soon you're begging for him to move.
"You sound so pretty when you beg, baby. Bet you wouldn't beg for anyone else." Nevertheless, he moves.
He starts slow, getting used to feeling you around him. You want more.
"Please, Poe. Faster. Please, please, please." You beg him, screams ripping through your throat.
He picks up the pace, relentless now. Fast and hard. The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping skin, mixed together with both your moans. You feel the pressure building up and your moans get louder. Poe chased his own release as you got closer and closer to the edge.
"Poe, I'm gonna... gonna come. Please, Poe..." Poe slowed down a fraction, pulling you further from the edge. You whined pathetically.
"Tell me you're mine. Only mine." You smiled through your lust-induced haze.
"Only yours, Poe. Always yours." He picked up the pace again, and the coil begins to tighten. Poe's moans push you over the edge, and you cum hard. So hard that your whole body feels electrified, your toes curling in pleasure. Poe fucks you through your high, turning your entire body to jelly. He pulls out and shoots his ropes over your body.
You smile. You lift a finger up to your chest and lick Poe's cum off your chest, moaning at the taste. The filth of the act clearly affected Poe, as his eyes closed in pleasure. He moaned lowly, grabbing your hands and pressing kisses to them. You closed your eyes, falling back onto the bed.
Poe disappeared into the refresher, grabbing a clean towel and dampening it, before returning to clean you up. You looked confused. No one had ever done that for you before. He wiped your chest and between your thighs, before carrying you to the bathroom. You washed your face and brushed your teeth with one of the spare toothbrushes in Poe's refresher, before heading back out.
Poe was gone.
You were confused, given that he had changed his sheets and left you a spare t-shirt and pair of boxers to change into. You sat down on the edge of his bed, stretching your legs, a pleasant ache settling between them. Where the hell could he have gone?
A few seconds late, someone knocked, "Are you decent?" Poe.
"Yeah, come in." You stood up, shuffling your feet. Poe walked in, shirt almost completely undone, carrying 2 bottles of water from the cantina. Your heart almost burst.
He opened one of the bottles handing it to you, before leading you back to bed. You took a few sips, the coldness soothing your throat that was raw from screaming.
He laid back on his bed and beckoned your closer to him. You curled into his arms and reached up to fiddle with his hair. You both sat in silent reverie - taking in each other's company.
"Will I see you again?" Poe broke the silence timidly, running a knuckle over your cheek.
"You see me every day, Poe," You tease him gently, "You see me in the corridors, and in the cantina, and sometimes even after you get back from a mission." Poe slapped your ass, causing you to burst into laughter. He pulls you closer to his body.
"I mean it. Is this just a one-time thing? Given your - um - crush on the other guy?" You stay silent, "Is he a pilot? Is that why you're not telling me?" You nod your head, trying to hide your smile. You felt bad for not telling him, but it was funny.
"He's a pilot. But that's not why I'm not telling you." Poe frowns, creases appearing between his eyebrows.
"Is he a superior officer? Does he live on base?"
You decide to keep teasing him, "Yeah, he's a Captain." You look into Poe's eyes. "He's definitely my favourite person on base." Poe's frown turns into a scowl.
"He has the most beautiful brown eyes and the most amazing hair that I always want to run my fingers through," You tangle your hair in his, pulling it just the way he likes. "He's cocky, and he's so sexy. And he knows that he's sexy too." Poe tries pushing you away, rolling from his side to his back, but you just cling to him tighter. You place a kiss on his jaw and then on his ear.
"Why are you here, then? In my bed? In my clothes?" He says, jealousy and annoyance evident in his voice. You feel bad.
"You wanna know his name?"
"Not really. Then I'd know who I wanna punch, but I still wouldn't be able to do it."
"I don't really think it's possible to punch yourself." Poe turns to face you, the jealousy in his eyes fading into hope.
"What?" You just smile. "You love me?"
"I didn't lie, Poe. I'm yours. Always yours." He kisses you, hard, not giving you any space to breathe.
"You're not just saying that," He breathes, pulling away just enough to speak. You reconnect your lips to his, and he pulls you on top of him, your thighs around his torso. You look deep into his eyes, his pupils so dilated as if he couldn't get enough of you.
"It's always been you."
fin.
buy me a coffee
167 notes · View notes
tintinwrites · 3 months
Text
ulterior motives | Poe Dameron x Fem!Reader (1 of 2)
A/N: Wow, long time, no Poe! And a long time without posts. I just haven’t been motivated to write (or finish what I start) and time is moving so quickly, I can’t even keep track of it. My goodness!!!!
Rating: 18+
Warning: Canon typical violence, naughty words, people assuming you were promoted for doing sexual favors and it is heavily discussed.
Word Count: 4,499, apparently!
Summary: Post-war with The First Order, your generals, Poe and Finn, promote you to commander of your squadron. Not everyone is happy about it, especially with how close you and Poe seem to be.
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GIF Credit: ^^^^
You couldn’t help but smile as you hopped down from your ship, removing your helmet and tucking it under your arm, watching your fellow pilots leave their own X-wings to greet the people awaiting you all.
There was nothing more satisfying than a successful mission where nobody got hurt.
There were still remnants of the First Order, desperate people with no personality outside of the dictatorship, as well as new groups popping up. The galaxy simply couldn’t exist without someone with bad intentions wanting to rule it.
When one of your generals sent your squadron out to nip one of the groups in the bud, you hadn’t expected to be ambushed by their ships as soon as you broke the atmosphere for the planet their headquarters were on.
But, even taken by surprise, you managed to take each one of them out and suffer nothing but superficial damage to your ship and the others’. One day in maintenance and they’d all be good as new, like they never even left the hangar.
“Captain,” said a familiar voice from behind you and you nearly jumped, turning to find Poe was approaching you with a proud smile.
“General Dameron,” you breathed out, nearly stumbling over the name as you fought away your own shy smile.
He had that effect on everyone and you were certainly no exception. He was handsome already, but he’d grown a beard speckled with white since taking over as co-general and it made him so…distinguished. He let his hair grow out a bit and it was just barely graying at the temples. He was smart and strong and kind and toned and his eyes would crinkle at the corners when he’d smile at you or laugh or—
How could you not feel something? It was a little embarrassing, the way your heart would jump at the sight of him and your breath would catch when you spoke with him, and your palms would sweat just from being near him. But you couldn’t blame yourself or anyone else for that matter.
You tried your best to not reveal your feelings, hiding genuine yearning behind banter and what could possibly be construed as flirting. And sometimes you couldn’t help how you looked at him, especially when there were times where he looked at you in such a way that you thought that…maybe…
But he was one of your generals and you were just someone with a silly crush. Just like everyone else. You weren’t special, the two of you weren’t fated to be an item just because you liked him. It just…was what it was.
“Looks like Finn did a good job entrusting you with the squadron for this mission.” Poe looked around the tarmac at the other pilots, who were all animatedly telling anyone near them how intense and ‘cool’ the fight was.
You felt a touch of pride, but you just smiled. “I couldn’t have done it without them.”
You looked at him to find he was looking at you now, like he was considering something. When he didn’t say anything and you found yourself wanting to squirm beneath his gaze, you cut through the silence.
“Do I have something on my face?” You leveled him with a jokingly annoyed expression and he looked away with a laugh.
“Nothing that needs fixing,” he said offhandedly, biting his lip in thought for a moment before he looked at you again. “I wanna talk to you about something. In private.”
Your heart felt like it leapt out of your chest, mind immediately racing as it tried to figure out what he would want to talk about. Had you done something wrong? Was he going to ask you out?
You waved the thoughts away and smiled a little too brightly. “Sure! What’s up?”
“No, no, go take a shower and get changed, come to my office after.”
“Are you saying I stink, General?” Your typical banter was only slightly delayed as you tried to calm yourself.
“I’m just saying, I want to be able to inhale when I talk to you.”
Despite him being your superior, you gave him a playful shove that made him stumble back a bit, shaking your head as he laughed. “You’re horrible.”
“And you like it.” You did. Because he never meant it and just wanted to make you…make people laugh. “See you in fifteen?”
“We’ll see if I even show up now.”
——————————————————————————
You were outside of Poe’s office fourteen and a half minutes later, clean and in comfier clothes than a flightsuit; you sped through the process, both eager and nervous about what Poe wanted to talk to you about.
You took a deep breath to fail at calming your nerves before you knocked on the door.
“No one’s here!”
“Oh, then I guess I can just come back another day.” You barely made it a few feet down the hall before the door slid open and Poe was peeking out, smirking at you. “Oh! I thought no one was there.”
“I snuck by when you weren’t looking. Come in.” He nodded and stepped away, and you followed him into the room as the door shut again.
His office was simple, a desk and a few chairs, some necessary technology, a few little personal touches like toys from his childhood or cool things he found on missions. There was one across the hall for Finn that was nearly identical, but he had a lot more personal touches as he discovered new, wonderful things he enjoyed every day.
You sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk as he sat in his, and you waited for him to start the conversation. He was just smiling at you. You stared at him before you squirmed in your seat, feeling awfully hot for some reason. “What did you need to talk to me about?”
“Oh, right, uh…” He sat back in his seat, clearing his throat. “You know how Finn asked you to oversee your mission because Commander Nichos had to step away?”
You nodded. Nichos and you weren’t too close, but he was nice and you respected him, so you were concerned when you found out he wouldn’t be on the mission.
“Well, his wife is pregnant. And he wants to step down as commander so he can just have a family…in peace.” He started to rearrange things on his desk. “Since we’re not in a war and I want his kid to have a dad, I agreed.”
“That’s kind of you.” Poe was a fair general as far as you were concerned. He could get a little worked up sometimes, but it was only when it was necessary.
“But that means we won’t have a commander for your squadron and I’ve been thinking about it and talking to Finn…and we want you.”
You stared. “Want me to do what?”
“Take over as commander…but only if you want to.”
Slowly, you started to register what he was asking you and a smile spread across your face. “I…I would be honored. Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” He rolled his eyes playfully at you.
“This…thank you!” You’d been hoping to climb the ranks with your hard work and you so loved overseeing missions and your squadron. Not to mention, you felt so accomplished and flattered, knowing Poe and Finn thought you were capable enough. “Can I hug you?”
“You know I love hugs.”
You were around the desk and on him so fast, making him grunt as you hugged him tight. You would’ve been in his lap if you didn’t keep your feet on the ground. He laughed warmly in your ear and the sound made you melt, knees buckling as his arm came around you and he gently rubbed your back.
You pulled back after a moment and his arm loosened around you, but it didn’t fall. You stared at each other and you couldn’t help admiring how handsome he was, how soft his eyes were when he looked at you. Did he just glance at your lips? Were you imagining things to give yourself hope?
“General Dameron, I— oh.” You both turned to see a member of your squadron had entered; it was Valin, a typical tall, dark, and handsome man. He was a bit aloof, but a good pilot and fighter.
“Well, your breath smells fine to me!” you said quickly, inwardly cringing as you pulled away from Poe. He looked amused, but turned his attention to Valin.
“Hey, we were just finishing up if you wanna take a seat.” Poe nodded to you that you could leave, which you did in a bit of a daze.
Both from the awkwardness of Valin’s entrance and…whatever the hell that other feeling was. It felt like a strange mixture of hope, longing, and disappointment.
You were almost certain that you wanted to kiss Poe and that he wanted to kiss you back. You did want to kiss Poe.
But he was your general! And everyone wanted him! You were being ridiculous, making things up because you were excited and he was gorgeous. So unbelievably gorgeous…
It would never work, but it was nice to flirt and pretend. Even with your logic, you still wished Valin hadn’t walked in and interrupted whatever was going to happen.
Would Poe have kissed you? Would you be the one who initiated it? Would you both lean in, only to smack your noses together and laugh and break the tension that shouldn’t have been there? It was good that Valin walked in.
Great, even. It made things way less complicated that you weren’t able to kiss one of your generals.
You tried to shift your focus to your new role as commander and how excited you were, but you weren’t sure if you couldn’t stop smiling because of that or because it really seemed like Poe wanted to kiss you.
——————————————————————————
There was a celebration the night it was announced that you were promoted to commander and Valin was promoted to captain; everyone chattered, laughed, and even danced as they enjoyed delicious food and dizzying drinks.
Everyone but Valin, but it didn’t seem out of the ordinary given the distance he always kept between himself and the others. He just stood in the corner, sipping on a strong drink. You supposed he kept his emotions about being promoted to himself.
Regardless, you were having a great time with all your friends celebrating you, and other squadron members congratulating you and telling you how right you were for the job.
Poe observed for most of the night until you - a little buzzed, forgetting embarrassment despite the heat in your body - dragged him over to dance. He didn’t mind, joining in on the fun like he wasn’t one of your highest superiors.
Things were so different with the war over. While there were still problems to be dealt with, they were fewer and farther between, which meant you had time for celebrations and access to real food instead of rations.
You could enjoy your lives to some extent.
“Congratulations again. I gotta get this guy out of here,” said Kelsa, a member of the Blue Squadron, as she helped her husband Adharan out of the room. He was a member of your squadron and he was mumbling random things all the way.
There were few people left at the celebration as the night grew late and everyone felt the true effects of what they drank. It was you, Poe, Finn, a few new faces, and Valin left.
The group of newbies left and your eyes widened when you saw Finn with one of them. You looked at Poe in question when he plopped down next to you with a groan. “Someone made a friend.”
He laughed. “He’s been looking at her like a barghest pup since she joined. It’s about time.”
“Yeah…” You stared at him, the alcohol coursing through you doing a great job at making you forget why it was good you hadn’t kissed Poe the other day.
He had such perfect lips. He was made to be kissed and you wanted to do the kissing.
You didn’t even realize you were leaning in until you felt his fingers on your lips, stopping you from meeting his. He looked like he was almost in pain. “You’re drunk.”
“Not drunk enough to not know what I’m doing.” You mumbled against his finger tips, turning your head to lean into his touch.
“Maybe not, but you’re drunk enough to not think it through. I’m not gonna take advantage of that.” He slowly removed his hand, being sure you were holding your own head up and not relying on him. “I don’t want you to regret it in the morning.”
You knew refusing to take advantage of someone under the influence was the bare minimum a person could do, but you liked Poe so much, it felt like he’d just offered you a million credits. “You’re such a good guy.”
There was a snorted laugh and you looked over to see Valin walking by, but his face was so emotionless that you figured you heard wrong. You wanted to reach out to him even if he was distant, so you stood. “Captain.”
He just stared straight into your soul, only looking away once he was approaching the door.
You scoffed. “Talk about having a stick up your-“
Poe quickly stood and slapped a hand over your mouth, pulling you to his side as he grinned and waved at Valin with his free hand. “Goodnight!”
Valin’s eyes were darker as he left and you continued to mumble behind Poe’s palm. He made sure the other man was likely out of earshot before he moved his hand away.
“-and another thing, who stands in a corner and glares at everyone when they were just promoted? You should be celebrating! And I’ve been so nice to you and you just stare at me! Why?!”
Poe pressed his lips together and patted your shoulder, gently guiding you toward the door. “Yeah, you’re not in your right mind. Let’s get you to bed.”
——————————————————————————
It was a few days later that you noticed that people didn’t seem as excited for you anymore. It couldn’t just be in your mind that everyone was glaring at you, whispering to each other as soon as you were too far to hear them.
You wondered if you’d done something embarrassing at the celebration, but you remembered all of it and the most embarrassing thing you’d done was try to kiss Poe. That wasn’t reputation destroying, was it?
You did your best to ignore it, but the more people whispered without telling you what the problem was, the more irritated and nervous you became.
The tarmac outside of the base was crowded with people as Blue Squadron prepared to leave for a mission, but all conversations hushed as you walked through. The throngs parted, friends and acquaintances and people you didn’t even recognize staring at you. You felt big and small at the same time, like you were taking up too much space for the meaningless person you were in their eyes.
You just kept walking, wanting to wish the squadron luck before going.
Kelsa was about to get into her ship, but she stopped and looked at you with pity. That was better than being stared at like you were an abomination…maybe…pretty sure…you had no idea if it was better or worse. What was there to pity?
You approached their commander, Alsafi, and did your best to smile. “Hey, I just wanted to wish you luck out there.”
She regarded you for a moment like you were a lowly creature she could easily step on, then she lifted her chin and straightened her shoulders. “You know, I was assigned as commander of the Blue Squadron because I worked hard.”
You furrowed your brow. “Yeah…you’re the perfect fit, anyone knows that.”
She hummed and started to climb the ladder to her ship, saying over her shoulder, “I don’t need luck from General Dameron’s pet.
Your eyes widened and you quickly grabbed her ankle to stop her ascent. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, come on!” She clenched her jaw and kicked you away easily, so she could hop back onto the tarmac and loom over you with her impressive height. “Everybody knows. How could he not grant you such a favor when you’ve been granting his?”
You opened and closed your mouth a few times in shock, turning to the crowd where some were staring and others quickly pretended they hadn’t been. “Is…is that what you all think? I was promoted to commander because I’m sleeping with Poe?”
A murmur fluttered across the group, some people saying nasty and hateful things while others begrudgingly admitted their beliefs. A few people were silent, obviously not believing the rumor, but too frightened by the general consensus to stick up for you.
That included members of your own squadron, people you’d known the longest, who’d been the most vocal about how happy they were that you were their commander.
“You all know Poe would never do that! That I…I would never accept…I…” You were so flustered by all the anger and judgment pointed towards you. “Kolb, Navi, come on, you know that’s not why!” Your fellow pilots looked ashamed as they stayed silent, so you turned to the ever stoic Valin.
Something was different in his eyes.
“Valin was promoted to captain! Poe and Finn were just moving up their best pilots to fill a space. Tell them.”
“I saw them together with my own eyes,” he said as he stared at you coldly. “And now you claim to be one of our best pilots? Better than me or the rest of our squadron?”
Your face fell. “No…I didn’t mean that…I just mean…we should trust their decisions, I…and what do you mean, you saw us?!”
“In his office, after everyone left the party…”
You scoffed and laughed nervously because, while you hadn’t done anything, you knew the position was compromising and you were filling with unfounded guilt. Or was it unfounded? You did feel that Poe liked you. Did he just promote you because he liked you?
No, he wouldn’t do that. Would he? He promoted Valin too. Maybe he liked Valin.
“We were hugging in his office because I was excited, and I was drunk at the party! Come on, you guys don’t really believe this!”
“If he was just promoting his best pilots, Valin should have been commander and you should have stayed captain,” Alsafi said before climbing into her ship.
Valin leaned in close to you as the crowd began to dissipate, their decision made. “Everyone sees how you look at each other. You think we’re stupid?”
You floundered, but couldn’t come up with a defense before he shouldered past you. What were you supposed to do? Nobody believed you.
All you could think was one thing; hide.
You ran, pushing past anyone who was left, bolting right back into the base so you could hide from their stares and assumptions, humiliated by their lack of faith in your abilities as well as them thinking you were sleeping with Poe.
You were just turning the hallway that held your quarters when you bumped into someone solid, hard enough that the two of you fell into a heap on the floor. He grunted and you gasped, panting.
“Hey, you okay?”
Your eyes widened when they met Poe’s and you quickly scrambled off him and crawled back until you hit the wall, wanting to put distance between you. You couldn’t imagine if someone walked in and found you on top of him.
His brow furrowed as he sat up. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
You didn’t know what to say and you felt panicked as tears welled in your eyes; from how much you liked Poe, and how much you wanted to be commander, and how everyone thought there was a correlation between the two. You opened your mouth and all that came out was a sob.
“Hey…” Poe softened and reached for you, but you quickly moved to your feet and pressed your back against the wall.
“Thank you, but I don’t think I should be commander.” It was like you were replying to a conversation he hadn’t been let in on, and you saw the confusion on his face before you darted down the hallway.
“Wait!” You could hear him calling after you and heard his footsteps running behind you for a moment, but you didn’t dare look back.
Part of you wanted to cry in his arms. The other part feared someone seeing you in another compromising position.
——————————————————————————
You stayed in your quarters for days, too frightened to face the stares or to wrestle with your feelings for Poe. You were also too scared to see his reaction to you turning down the role of commander.
Everyone had rations and a private refresher in their room, so you didn’t even have any reason to leave.
Maybe if you stayed there for a year or two, everyone would forget about this and Valin would be the new commander.
You peeked out from under your covers when you heard a knock on the door. “Who is it?”
“It’s Poe.”
“—no one’s here.”
“Should I rephrase that and say that your general is standing out here, in the freezing cold hallway?” When you gave no response, the door slid open and in walked Poe with a sympathetic expression. He looked around before grabbing the chair from your small desk and moving it to face your bed, sitting down. “Kelsa told me what happened.”
You groaned and pulled the covers over your head. “So you see why I can’t be commander and you agree? I’m glad we had this talk.”
“No, I see that someone started a rumor because you’re capable and deserving…and Valin is jealous, he thought he would be promoted to commander.” He tried to pull the covers down, but you held tight. “Come on, I know you. You’re gonna let this ruin something so important?”
“They think I fucked you, Poe,” you said bluntly as you shoved the covers back and sat up to look at him. “Do you know how embarrassing that is? They think I slept with you and that’s why you promoted me.”
“Who cares? You know the truth. I know the truth. And, sooner or later, they’re gonna forget all about the rumor and move onto something else.”
“They’re not gonna respect me if they think I do favors to get what I want.” You looked at your hands.
Poe reached out to tilt your chin up so you’d look at him. “I promoted you because you’re good and you deserved it more than anyone. They’ll get over it.”
You smiled a little, shaking your head. “I just don’t know if it’s right.”
“Well!” He stood and slapped his thighs. “Your squadron has a mission in a few days and I don’t plan to put someone in as commander, even temporarily. So I guess you at least gotta go for this one, or the whole squadron might be lost.”
“That’s just playing dirty.”
“Whatever gets you out of that bed.”
You watched him as he put the chair back and started towards the door, calling out before you could stop yourself, “Poe?”
You didn’t know what you wanted to say when he turned to look at you expectantly. Maybe you wanted to ask if it was all a rumor or if he did like you, if he looked at you the same way you looked at him.
But you couldn’t.
“Thanks,” you said lamely.
“Thank me after your briefing, first thing in the morning.”
——————————————————————————
The morning air was chilled as you finished packing what you needed into your X-wing, looking around at your squadron as they prepared themselves. Most of your group was being respectful and kind, though they hadn’t spoken up for you before.
The only one who didn’t seem to care for your orders was Valin. You didn’t care for him very much at all now, given how he started the rumor, but you would make sure he stayed safe.
You were just climbing the ladder when he approached you, data pad in hand. “General Dameron said he gave us the wrong coordinates, these are the right ones.”
You looked at him and then looked to where Poe was standing to see you all off, smirking a bit when he waved at you. You quickly made your expression neutral and looked at the coordinates on screen, nodding. Maybe even Valin was getting somewhat used to you being his superior, if only by doing something helpful that you imagined Poe was forcing him to do.
“Let’s get a move on, the sooner we’re out of here, the sooner we can come back!” You climbed into the cockpit of your ship and put in the coordinates before you let the canopy close, starting it up.
Poe was still watching as you lifted into the air, followed close by the rest of your squadron with Valin right behind you. You waved to your general quickly before you took off into space, surprised by how far the planet would be.
That’s what hyperspeed was for, you supposed. You were able to engage it once you broke the atmosphere and you were in the quiet expanse of stars.
It cut your travel time in half and you exited it once you were a few minutes away from the planet, pausing when you only saw one ship behind you. Where the hell was the rest of your fleet?
Your comm crackled to life and you could hear Valin, “I think they dropped out of hyperspeed too soon, this place is kinda in the middle of nowhere. We should go ahead and land, scope out the place.”
He was right about the planet being in the middle of nowhere and you knew your squadron was smart, they’d figure out the coordinates. It made sense to go ahead and get started, so you could see what needed to be done.
You took off your helmet once your ship had touched down, climbing out to take a look at your surroundings.
It was pretty barren, dirt as far as the eye could see, crumbling buildings and dead foliage. You couldn’t even hear animals or the wind.
“I think maybe we’re the ones who dropped out of hyperspeed at the wrong time,” you said over your shoulder as Valin jumped out of his ship. “I don’t think this is even livable. Maybe it was at one time, but not anymore…they wouldn’t want a planet without resources they can harvest.”
“No, I think we’re in the right place,” came Valin’s voice from right behind you.
You barely had time to register the pain of something being brought down on the back of your head before everything went black.
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groguspicklejar · 10 months
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Rookie Mistake [Poe Dameron]
Summary: You know he isn't one for anything more than a hookup. But you may have misjudged how deeply he feels.
Pairing: Poe Dameron x f!reader
Warnings: the essence of hookup culture, reader being snarky, sad!Poe, little bit of angst.
A/N: I never realized how difficult it was for me to write something so simple. This one's for @sofasoap So sorry it took so long. My fourth commission, yay!!!🥳 Hope you enjoy it❤️
[Part 2]
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“What will it take for you to go on a date with me?”
He’s been asking –practically begging– for a chance to go out with you for weeks. You never took him seriously, fully knowing that he’ll get back to sleeping around again pretty soon. It’s a lot easier to keep things professional, rather than be another notch in his belt.
You twist the pasta through your fork and raise it to your lips, muttering, “A damn miracle.”
Finn chokes on his caf and had to wipe off any drops from his mouth. Rey has an equally hard time holding back her laughter as they both listen to the conversation a few seats down.
Poe, as expected, is pouting. You smile and slide one of your cupcakes his way. “Stop pouting. You look like a kicked puppy.”
“I feel like a kicked puppy.” He gratefully accepts your offering, peels open the wrapping and starts munching on it.
Normally, you’d be annoyed when someone keeps pestering you for romance. But Poe makes it hard to not be mad at him. He’s so endearing when he asks that you almost feel bad for turning him down.
Almost.
Until you remember that he has the attention span of a celery stick and you know for a fact that none of the people he’s slept with can say, with confidence, that they are Poe Dameron’s significant other.
You finish your food and bid them all goodbye. Thankfully, Poe doesn’t follow you. Most likely disheartened by your answer, however playful it was.
When you make it to your quarters, you try not to think about Poe Dameron’s playful smirk as he asked you to go on a date with him. You can’t deny that you’ve grown fond of him over the few months of working with him. He’s a great leader and a better friend.
But you don’t know if you want to see him as anything other than that. You know how he is when it comes to relationships. You don’t want to end up like one of the girls you’ve seen crying in the ‘fresher.
You’re better than that. You deserve better than that.
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You’re woken up by frantic knocking on your door. Whoever is on the other side better tell you that the world is ending otherwise you’re going to end their existence.
Except, just as you're gearing up to spew hatred at whoever disturbed your sleep, you’re lungs deflate when you’re greeted by the sight of Poe Dameron’s big brown, sad puppy eyes.
“What did I do wrong?” he asks.
You’re weakened by the misery in his voice. But you keep your composure.
“Waking me up from my nap.” you griped, fixing him with a scowl that made him flinch. “That’s a rookie mistake that’ll surely get you killed someday–”
“Not that.” he softly interjected, instantly cutting down your rage. “What am I doing wrong?”
Oh.
That.
You realize that up until this point, Poe has never had to deal with rejection. There aren’t many people who can say no to him for obvious reasons. And he has proudly taken advantage of that.
But you know his kind. They’re the kind that burn too bright, that leave an ache in the chest once they’re done consuming everything in their path. You don’t want that. You don’t think you can handle watching him leave with a part of yourself that you willingly gave him.
“You want a fling.” you say, calling him out. “I’m not built like that.”
“Fling– Hang on! That’s not–” he sputters lamely, eyes widening in horror as he takes a step back. He looks distraught, damn near offended by your words and their implication. “That’s not what this is. I would never ask that of you.”
But you don’t know if you can believe such a thing. You don’t know if you can believe anything else. Is that not what he wanted when he kept insisting for you to spend time with him? When he kept asking for a date?
Poe sighs deeply, running a hand through his thick curls. He looked dejected, ready to throw in the towel. It occurs to you that perhaps you might have hurt him more than you realized.
When his eyes meet yours, he says, “Sweetheart, I stopped sleeping around from the moment I met you.”
You’re not sure what to say. If there is any deception on his part, you can’t find it. Perhaps, you’ve judged him too harshly. Perhaps, you read his intentions the wrong way.
You confidently raise your chin. “One date.”
The hope in his eyes nearly floods your brain. You don’t want him getting an even bigger ego because of this. You only indulge because you’re sickened by his sadness.
 “If I hate you by the end of it, we never speak of this again. Is that clear?”
His bright smile nearly blinds you with its radiance. You don’t know if you can ever find it in your heart to hate him. Not when he resembles everything that is good in the universe, everything the First Order is trying to erase.
“Yes, ma’am.” he beams, grinning widely, nodding his head. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Another rookie mistake.” You slam the door in his face and wonder what the fuck you just did. If anyone made a rookie mistake, it’s you.
And that mistake was allowing Poe Dameron to get under your skin.
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Star Wars Masterlist
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Kinktober Day 10
Day Nine | 🌹Kinktober Masterlist🌹 | Day Eleven
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Pairing: Stripper!Poe Dameron x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+ Only. Any minors interacting with ANY of these Kinktober prompts will be blocked.
Warnings: Stripping; car sex; clothed man/partially clothed woman; grinding
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“Ladies, please welcome to the stage—Flyboooooy!” 
A scream goes up from the surrounding crowd, and it’s so loud that you have to fight the urge to raise your hands and plug your ears. Your best friend leans over, whacks your leg, insists, “This is the one I told you about!” She practically has to yell to be heard over the pounding music, and the continuous clamor around you, “This is why I wanted to come here for my bachelorette—Oh my god, look at him!” 
You manage to tear your gaze from your best friend’s glowing expression to look up at where she's pointing. And—goddamn are you glad that you do. Your mouth falls open involuntarily as you take in the sight of him.
The man on the stage is breathtakingly beautiful. 
He’s…Glistening. That’s gotta be body oil, or something, right? He has to have been oiled up before he came out. He literally just got on stage, there’s no way he’s so sweaty already. Does he do that himself, or is that, like…A job that you could apply for—? 
Your gaze travels from the heavy boots on his feet, up over the orange flight suit that’s been unzipped to his navel, showcasing his rippling abs as he gyrates under the lights. You look further upward, slowly letting your eyes slip over his pecs, his neck, the plush plumpness of his smiling lips, up over the slope of his nose. You can’t see his eyes well, but from what you can see, they look dark and warm, and inviting. His tongue sweeps across his lips as he shifts and dances to the song being blared over the strip club’s speakers. You sink back into your seat as if it could swallow you—as if the man wouldn’t be able to spot you beyond what must be blinding lights. 
It’s only a few moments before he’s gravitating toward the crowd on either side of the stage, rolling his hips and grinning as bills are tucked into his flight suit. He makes his way to the front of the stage as he shrugs off his sleeves and flexes, inciting a fresh wave of admiration from the people in the front row. Your friend is no different—she’s practically jumping out of her seat and waving her fist full of dollars. Despite that, as Flyboy walks down the stairs, he makes a decisive beeline right toward you. 
Your mouth is hanging open almost stupidly. Your hands flex in the fabric of your dress, and you press yourself further back into the seat. Maybe he’s actually looking past you? Maybe he’s going to go right past you and—
You suck in a nervous breath as he plants his hands on the leather of the booth on either side of your head, lowering himself to straddle your lap. You peer up at him, stunned. What do you even do now? You can’t touch him, right? Are you smiling? 
He lowers himself, speaking just loudly enough for you to hear him over the music. 
“First time?” 
His voice is so inviting and smooth—and jeez, are you that obvious? Do you seem so out of place? You nod a little, thighs squeezing shut as his hips thrust and roll slowly against you. He leans back to get a better look at you, grinning as he undulates in your lap. You lean up, calling out, “She’s the bride!” And nodding beside yourself. It’s not loud enough, apparently, because he doesn't so much as look in her direction. You gather your courage and lean into him, curling your hand around one side of his jumpsuit, and hauling him into you. His eyes widen a touch as his arms bend to allow for the movement. You go still, your brain scrambled with him so close to you. You lean up, certain that he’ll lean away. When he holds still, you lean into his ear, pointing to your best friend. 
“It’s her bachelorette party,” You tell him. It takes him a moment before he nods, patting your side gently. He shifts over to your friend, a grin taking up residence on his lips as he straddles her lap. She lets out a shriek of excitement, her hands shoving bills into the jumpsuit as Flyboy snaps back into action. You can’t help but watch him covetously, eyes traveling over him as he takes your friend’s hand and leads her up the steps to the stage. Your envy swells as he lowers her to the ground, his biceps bulging as he braces himself over her. He glances up toward you, shooting you a warm grin and a wink before he refocuses on your best friend. 
--  
“How’s your head, girly?” You ask, tipping your head toward the phone in your dashboard holder, eyes set on the road. Your friend just groans in response, and you can’t help but smile. 
“Please tell me you’re not going into work,” You add.
“Already called out.” 
“Atta girl.” You lean back in your seat as you reach a red light. “Drink plenty of room temp water, eat some plain rice or pasta, take your advil. I’ll call to check on you later.” 
“Mm.” 
“Okay. Love you, too.”
You reach out, hanging up the phone before you shift your attention back to the road. You turn down the block, frowning as you hear a clanking noise from the engine. Oh—No, no, no, not good. You manage to pull the car over just as smoke rises from beneath the hood. Ugh, goddamnit. You groan, tipping your head back against the headrest and whacking your hand against the steering wheel as an acrid scent makes its way to you. Motherfucker. So much for running wedding errands. You sigh, taking your phone out of its holder on the dashboard and typing in mechanics near me. 
--  
You’re staring again. You know that you shouldn’t be, but…Goddamn, how is this man just as attractive in the middle of a garage as he is on the club stage? He’s in a jumpsuit again, but it’s dark blue, and actually on all the way. It’s unzipped, revealing a white muscle tee with a few smudges of oil. 
Someone clearing their throat beside you makes you jolt, and you look up, slapping a smile on as the young woman that had shown you into the garage (Rey is on her name tag in red thread) passes you coffee in a styrofoam cup. 
“Thanks,” You murmur before raising it to your lips. There’s no reason to blow on it other than to give you something to do with your mouth. 
The mechanic glances at you as he straightens up from bending over your car. 
“Shouldn’t take too long,” He reassures with a small smile.
You have no idea what that means. 
“Ah, right. Of course.” 
He chuckles softly, and your stomach flips at the sound. 
“Not much of a car person?” He plies. 
“No, not really,” You admit, shaking your head. He nods, turning back to his work. For a few blissful moments, you think that you may be able to just sit there and peacefully scroll through instagram reels for the hour. 
Unfortunately, luck is not on your side. 
“So did you enjoy yourself?” He asks. 
You frown. “When my car broke down?” 
The man casts you a knowing look over his shoulder, and you know that you’re caught as goosebumps break out across your body. You offer him a guilty smile before raising the coffee cup to your lips to try and hide it. 
“Your friend seemed to have a good time,” He adds.
“Oh, she did. It was her idea to go there, actually, she uh…She goes there pretty often.”
“Not your usual night out?” 
“No, definitely not. I mean, I don’t mean definitely like—it’s just not my go-to. I do other things, other non-strip-club things.” You have never spoken this much or this badly in your entire life. “Not that it wasn’t nice! I mean it was great, you guys were all, uh…Spectacular.” 
His brows jump and lower in the space of a second before he repeats, “Spectacular,” To himself in a mutter. Damnit, why did you have to say that? Why couldn't you just say it was great or fun like a normal human being? You set the coffee cup aside and stand from your seat, wandering toward the car and leaning against the side to watch him work. He’s a different kind of attractive as he works so diligently. You watch as his hands move with steady surety, his focus heavy on the components beneath the hood. 
“How did you wind up being Flyboy?” You ask, unable to staunch your curiosity any longer. “I mean is it something that was assigned to you or did they already have, like, a cop and a cowboy and a construction worker…”
“You do know that it’s a strip club and not the Village People?” He asks, smile widening as your face goes hot with embarrassment. He waves off your apology before you can voice it, adding, “I chose the character.” 
“It’s a good one…Suits you,” You add as he lifts his chin to look at you again. “I mean, the jumpsuit is very, um,” You wave a hand toward him. “It’s a good look. Solid. Works now, too, even though it’s…Different.” 
You ought to sit back down. Let the man do his work. You start to push yourself away from the car, but before you can get far, he straightens up and holds his hand out to you. 
“I’m Poe.” 
Poe. It suits him just as well as Flyboy does. 
You shake his hand as you give him your name, trying not to hone in on his warm, steady grasp. 
“It’s nice to meet you.” 
“You, too,” You nod. You begin to draw away, but you hear Poe curse softly, taking hold of your wrist. Your stomach flips as you look down at your palm, spotting a smudge of oil there. 
“I’m sorry,” He draws a rag out from his pocket and gently scrubs at the spot. 
“It’s okay,” You smile. You lift your gaze to his as his movements slow, and find him watching you closely. The way he watches you is different from last night. It doesn’t have that bright, devil-may-care look that you’d seen just a few hours ago. You lower your gaze back to your hand, bashfully drawing it out of his grip. 
“I, uh—I should let you work.” 
“And I should stop getting oil all over you.” 
You let out a nervous laugh, giving a small, lame wave before heading back to your seat. 
--  
It’s late when you spot an unfamiliar cellphone on the floorboard of your car. You’re not even sure how Poe's phone got in there—he never got into your car. But it couldn’t be anyone else’s. You make a call to the club, hopeful that you can just drop it off, but when you get there, you’re shown to a table. 
“I really, um—” You bumble, lowering yourself into the seat reluctantly, “I just needed to drop something off for Po—I mean, for Flyboy—” Crap, don’t call him that, they’ve gotta know his real name, right? 
“He’s up in a minute, I can bring you back afterwards.” 
Back? Afterwards? You’re not sure which part of that is more concerning, but the announcer is crowing, “Flyboooooooooy!”, and it’s just too late to do anything but stare at a deer in the headlights. 
…Well, that’s not exactly true. You could definitely still get up and not watch this. You know where the bathroom is, it’s not like they would’ve moved it since yesterday. But you find yourself glued to the seat, and you’re entranced by the way he moves all over again. His raw sensuality seems at once in concert and at odds with the way he looked into your eyes this morning. 
You can still leave, right? You can sneak away, and leave the phone with the bartender, or—
Or you could stay completely glued to your seat as Poe heads right toward you again. Oh, crap. Your BFF isn’t even there for you to nod him toward. You sit stock-still and stunned as Poe straddles your lap, grasping the booth behind you. He moves so seamlessly, rolling his hips with ease and fluidity. You can’t help but stare. Your gaze sweeps over his rippling muscles as you take in the musky scent of his cologne, and the heat of his body over yours. Your eyes drift back up to his face, and you can’t help but smile at the warm glint in his eyes, and the wink that he gives you. You lean up, speaking into his ear, 
“Shouldn’t you be performing for people who can actually give you something?” 
He laughs, nodding a little. “Maybe.” 
But he doesn’t budge. 
--  
“He’s over there,” One of the other performers waves you toward the other end of the dressing room. You mutter your thanks before you avert your eyes, hurrying through the scantily clad male performers. It is so damn embarrassing. Do they think you’re just some random creep that doesn’t know the line between what happens on stage and their real lives? Do they know Poe was grinding up against you just a little while ago? Do they know that you’re helplessly turned on, dripping wet from his attention?
When you finally catch sight of Poe, he's fully clothed, wearing a pair of dark sweatpants and a t-shirt. It’s almost odd to see him in something other than a jumpsuit. He turns his head, smile blooming as he catches sight of you. 
“Hey there.” 
“Hi.” 
Poe casts a glance over your shoulder before he nods over his shoulder and holds his hand out, urging, “C’mon.” 
Glancing behind yourself, you find the other performers watching the two of you with interest. You take hold of Poe’s hand, letting him lead you out through a back door. You step into a small back courtyard with him, glancing around. With how plush the interior of the club is, you shouldn’t be so surprised by how nice it is out there, too. The space is paved with light-toned stone; there’s a staircase to your right that seems to lead up to a porch. There are a few benches further back, and what appears to be a dormant water fountain. 
“Do you guys do events out here?” You ask.
“Sometimes, yeah. In the summer.” Poe tucks his hands into his pockets, leaning against the wall beside you. “So, did you enjoy yourself?” 
You warm with bashfulness as you nod, your smile widening as he grins. 
“It’s like I said earlier, you’re all very talented.” 
“I believe the word you used at the garage was spectacular.” 
Dangit, you’re never going to live that down. 
“Yes, I—It was. oh, before i forget...” You fish into your pocket, drawing Poe’s phone out. It lights up as you do, exposing an absolutely precious picture of a corgi puppy at a pumpkin patch, an orange and white bandana tucked into his collar. 
“Right, thank you.” He takes it from you and puts it into his pocket without checking for any missed messages or calls. 
“How did it wind up in my car, anyway?” You frown. “You worked on, you know,” You wave your hand vaguely toward empty air. “The outside.” 
“Must’ve slipped when I leaned into to make sure she was starting up right.” 
Your eyes narrow slightly as you nod slowly. 
“Right…And I would buy that if you hadn’t asked me to do that for you while you kept an eye on things under the hood.” 
Poe’s smile never wavers, but he does huff a quiet laugh before dropping his eyes and raising his hands in surrender. 
“Alright, busted,” He nods. Your brows jump. 
“So how—”
“I might’ve chucked it in there when you went to pay the bill.”
“Why?”
“How else was I supposed to see you again?” 
Your stomach swoops at the admission, stunned. Poe’s gaze sweeps across your face as he steps a little closer. His eyes drift from yours, down to your lips, and linger there for a moment before gently sweeping up again, fixing you with a sweet, curious gaze. 
“Tell me if I’m way off-base here,” He murmurs. You give a small shake of your head, reaching out and gently trailing your fingers over the back of his hand. He ducks in, lips brushing hesitantly against yours before he gives you a sweet kiss. Your eyes slip shut at the tender pressure, your hand lifting to cup his cheek as his arms curl around your waist. You lean into him, smiling as he turns you, pressing you back against the building. You loop your arms around his shoulders, teasing your tongue across his lips. He parts his lips with a sigh, and your clit throbs as his tongue tangles filthily with yours. 
You jump, reeling back when someone bangs on the door beside you from the inside. 
“You two done out there?” A man calls out, “Ben’s itching for a smoke break before the next show and he’s being a dick to everyone that area being for dancers only.” 
Poe groans softly, calling back, “Alright, thanks, Finn!” 
He leans in, peppering your jaw with sweet kisses. You’re certain that the two of you will part ways, but he tips his chin up, murmuring,
“Did you drive here?” 
--  
It’s a mad dash to your car from the club. The sky opens up and pours rain the minute you step outside. You grasp Poe’s hand, running through the downpour. By the time you reach the car and get the doors open (it takes a little longer than usual—the battery in your key fob is on the fritz), the two of you are dripping wet and panting. You each duck into the front seat, doors slamming shut on either side. The two of you practically collide as you lean in to kiss over the console. 
You groan quietly, the sound nearly drowned out by the hammering of the rain on the roof. Poe draws your lower lip between his teeth, giving it a rough tug, only letting go when you whimper. 
“Fuck—C’mere,” Poe urges, cranking the seat lever and pushing it as far back as it’ll go, stopping until it’s nearly flush with the backseat. You gracelessly maneuver across the console, whacking your knee against the gear shift on your way. Poe grasps the waistband of your leggings, drawing you down on top of him. You lean closer, pressing your chest to his as you blindly seatch for the lever to recline the seat. Poe’s hands smooth up your back as you catch hold of it. You yank it a little too fast, causing the two of you to jolt as the seat drops. The whack of the seat against the backseat makes Poe’s head bounce, whacking into yours. You both yelp, reaching for your heads as Poe laughs. 
“Oh—I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” You gasp through Poe’s laughter. He shakes his head, lowering his hand, his eyes bright in the cramped, dim interior.
“It’s alright, I'm fine,” He insists, still chuckling. “Are you?”
“I’m fine,” You nod. His grin melts as the laughter quiets, leaning up as you curl into him again. You dip your head, flicking your tongue against his lips. His mouth opens with a quiet groan as his hands smooth up your back. You settle more fully on top of him, rolling your hips down. Oh—god, you can feel him hardening in sweatpants. Poe leans up, kissing along your neck as you begin to grind down against him. He hums against your skin. 
“This is starting to feel eerily familiar.” 
You giggle, sitting up as much as you can without your head whacking the roof of the car. 
“Oh, this?” You tease. You grasp the car seat beside Poe’s head. You roll your body, approximating the moves from his act. He hums, leaning back and tucking his arms behind his head. Your gaze greedily travels the swell of his biceps in the short sleeves of his rain-soaked shirt. 
“Mhm,” He hums, subtly pushing his hips up against yours. You reach down, beginning to draw your shirt up and off, but he tuts softly. 
“Slower,” He murmurs. Your body goes hot from the order, but you do as he says, slowly peeling your shirt up and off. You drop it into the backseat foot well before you bow over him again, grinding back against the growing bulge in his pants. Poe loops his arm around you, making short work of your bra’s fastening. It’s the next thing to go as you toss it onto the seat beside you. 
Poe leans up, brushing his lips over your breast before delicately stroking and sucking one of your nipples. You hiss softly, winding your hand into his hair and savoring the teasing flicks and laps. You snake a hand between the two of you, palming his cock through his pants. Poe moans into your skin, smoothing his hand down your bare belly and slipping it beneath the band of your leggings. You gasp as his fingers press against the damp fabric of your panties, your hips pushing down into his touch. He lets your flesh slip from his lips as he tips his head up nuzzling against your jaw. 
“Fuck, that’s all for me, isn’t it, sweetheart,” He groans. You nod, squeezing your eyes shut as you grind your hips down into his touch. 
“Can I touch you?” He presses, “Can I play with your pretty pussy?” 
“Fuck, please, please,” You beg, touch stuttering as he pushes the seat of your panties aside, swiping the pads of his finger across your soaked folds. He groans roughly, his cock pulsing beneath you. You turn your head, catching Poe’s lips with yours and nipping at his lip. The two of you begin to rock in sync, hips rolling into each other’s touch. Your breasts rub against the almost course texture of his wet t-shirt, sending trickles of pleasure through your body. It’s embarrassing, but you’re so goddamn wound up—
“Poe,” You warn softly, “I don’t—Fuck, I’m close.” 
Poe curses against your skin, sawing his hips up into your hand more harshly as the swipes against your clit become more and more insistent. The movement makes your sensitive nipples rub more harshly against his shirt, bringing you closer to the edge. You can feel the car rocking with your joint thrusts as the two of you chase your pleasure. You use the back of the chair as leverage to grind more firmly into his hand. You can feel him watching you closely, but you can’t bring yourself to feel embarrassed, not when you’re right on the edge—
Your orgasm washes over you slowly, your moans unabashedly loud in the car, and mingling with his as you feel his cock twitching beneath your hand, warmth spreading beneath your palm. The two of you slowly come to a stop, each gently slipping your hands away from one another. Poe wraps his arms around you, drawing you back down on top of him and resting his hand on your nape. You cuddle against him, as you trade lazy, syrupy kisses. You close your eyes as they break, resting your face against his neck. 
“...What time do you have to go back in there?” You mumble. 
“In a bit.” 
“Okay.” 
“Can I see you later?” 
You smile, trailing a finger along his chest. 
“At the club?” 
“I can’t do the things I wanna do to you at the club. Not without losing my job, anyway.” 
You tip your head up, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. 
“My place or yours?” 
“Either. I’m fine with the car again, too.” 
“I’m not sure that’s the best idea.” 
The sudden knocking on your window startles you, and you burrow closer to Poe’s chest and he tightens his grip on you. 
“Ten minutes,” A warning comes through the window. Poe sighs heavily, dropping his head against the rest once the man has retreated. 
“Ben,” He grumbles. “Dick.” 
“I should, uh,” You look at the partially-fogged windows warily. “I should let you get back to work.” 
“Whose place later?” Poe presses. “I should warn you, I have roommates.” 
“I don’t.” 
“Your place it is.” 
You smile, tugging your bra on before reaching for your shirt…Which is still soaking wet and covered in bits of schmutz from the foot well. Well that's gross. When was the last time you vacumed your car? 
“Here.” 
Before you have a chance to argue, Poe is pulling his shirt off and helping you into it. 
“But—What’ll you leave in?” 
“I’ve got extra clothes inside, don’t worry about it.” 
Poe gently levers the seat back into a seated position before reaching into his pocket, drawing his phone out. You watch him open it, smiling against the picture of the corgi. 
“Cute dog,” You comment.
“That’s Bee-Bee. He’s my baby.” 
You take his phone as he holds it out to you, typing in your contact, then sending a text to yourself. You turn the phone toward him again, waiting just a few seconds before your phone goes off with the message. “Text me when you’re done tonight.” 
“It'll be late.”
“I don’t mind.”
Poe reaches up, cupping your cheek and drawing you down for another kiss. You sink into him, sliding your hands covetously over his chest and arms. Oh…You can’t make him late. 
“Don’t you,” You mumble between kisses, “Have somewhere to be?” 
“Ben said ‘ten minutes’ like two minute ago,” Poe argues, hand sneaking up under your shirt. “We’ve got time.” 
“Seven minutes?” 
“Eight-ish.”
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dailyreverie · 3 months
Text
Santa baby
A/N: Requested by @rositxespinosa. This is completely unhinged, I don't know what came over me, and I'm not sorry about that. Hope you all like it!
Holiday prompts ⛄ 10. Naughty
Pairing: Poe Dameron x reader | Modern!AU (just because Santa's not a thing in SW)
CW: 18+ MINORS DNI. Nudity, implicit sex.
Word count: 813
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The day had dragged on in the most mundane way possible, each passing seeming like it lasted longer than the last. Working in an empty office due to the Holiday break around the corner tired you out of boredom, leaving you yearning for the comforting embrace of home, of Poe, of being able to talk to him more than just a “I’m going to die from boredom” text. 
As you stepped into the apartment, the weariness of the day began to vanish, replaced by the anticipation of familiar warmth. “Poe?” You call into the apartment, kicking off your shoes and tossing off your coat.
“Hi, sweetheart!” You heard Poe calling from your bedroom, instantly making you smile. “How was your day?”
“Fine,” You replied without much of a thought, the sign of an uneventful day. “What are you up to?” It wasn’t normal for Poe not to jump to the door to greet you, welcoming you with a kiss that makes you forget about your day, bringing you home in every aspect of the word.
“Just waitin’ for you.” He was always great at making you smile right of the bat.
“Good, because all day I’ve been wanting nothing but to watch one of those stupid movies from our queue. I had such a boring day, you have no idea,” your venting began as you start your walk to your shared bedroom, already craving the feeling of Poe’s arms around you. “The only interesting thing that happened today was that the coffee machine broke down and it spilled all over Finn’s shirt, that poor guy, we couldn’t stop laughing about it and he was so mad! At one point I really thought he was going to-”
Your train of thought is abruptly interrupted when, as you enter your room, you notice Poe is completely naked. He is wearing absolutely nothing, except for a Santa hat right on top of his- “Poe! Oh my God!”
The noise you let out is somewhere between a laugh and a gasp, all while your face turns 100 different shades of pink and red.
“Yes, my love?” His eyebrows move up his face, fake innocence all over his features, doe eyes and all as he keeps his eyes fakely interested in whatever the phone in his hand is showing. “You were saying?”
Your eyes travel up and down his body, taking in the sight that welcomes you home. “What are you doing?” You speak after a couple of seconds of silence, chuckling, breaking his fake naiveness and making him smile.
“Waiting for you.” His smirk, though, is a clear sign of why he was waiting for you. “I think someone forgot to check if you were naughty or nice this year.”
“Oh my God, you are unbelievable” You let out an airy laugh, not able to keep your eyes away from him.
“Are you saying you don’t believe in Santa? ‘Cause he might forget to give you a gift if you keep this attitude.
You giggle at him, at the whole situation he probably came up with when you texted how boring your day was. Not able to resist him anymore your fingers start to undo your clothes. Poe tosses his phone aside when you start walking towards him, his turn to look you up and down as you begin to unbutton your shirt. “Santa’s just here to check if you've been naughty or nice."
You playfully roll your eyes, still blushing but unable to suppress your laughter. "Is that so?" you tease, crawling across the bed. As Poe moves to get into a more comfortable position, the Santa hat that rests on top of him wiggles a bit, adding to the absurdity of the situation. You reach him, straddling his waist and resting your hands on his chest.
Poe stops in front of you, his gaze filled with a mix of affection and lust. "Well, sweetheart, have you been naughty?" he asks, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your lips.
You respond with a playful smile. "Maybe a little bit naughty," you admit, running your fingers along the bare skin of his chest. "But I think I deserve a special gift from Santa.” Your tongue licks languidly over his lips, asking for permission to enter as your hand expertly removes the hat from his cock, wrapping around it and making him let out a delicious moan against your lips.
He grins, his hands moving to your waist to guide you to grind on him. "Oh, you'll get a special gift, alright," he murmurs, his lips trailing down your neck.
The two of you share a moment of laughter and passion, the Santa hat long forgotten on the floor. As you both collapse onto the bed, tangled in each other's arms, you can't help but feel grateful for the way he always turns your day around, in the most unexpected ways, in the most uneventful days; no matter what, you can count on Poe to make your day feel whole.
🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️
Thanks for reading! Please reblog and comment if you enjoyed it!
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writingsoftheloser · 7 months
Text
Deflection, deflection
Pairing: Poe Dameron x reader
Summary: Poe's back from a mission but he can't find you.
Words: 1.3k
Warnings: mention of an accident, explosion, mention of carachter death, swearing?
A/N: holy cow, I finally found the inspo to finish something! This is my first fic in idk how long and I'm a bit scared of posting... just go easy on me, ok? But pls tell me what you think about it!
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As he parked his ship, Poe felt a surge of adrenaline and happiness at finally being home. He couldn't wait to see you and tell you everything about the successful mission, and obviously he looked forward to have some alone time with you. It felt like a lifetime since he'd had that.
Bolting in the direction of the hangar bay with BB hot on his trail, he only greeted quickly a few people, too focused on looking around to spot you. He frowned when he couldn't see you and made a 360° turn on himself: you weren't there. You were always there.
Huffing, he walked inside the base, immediately bumping into Finn. “Hey man, how was the mission?”
Poe blinked, “It was good, successful. Have you seen Y/n?”
Finn straightened up at your name, but Poe was so focused on glancing around that he didn't notice it. “Um, no, not really”
That got Poe attention. His eyes zeroed in on Finn’s expression, seeing his hesitation. “Not really?”
Finn swallowed, but before he could say anything else, Poe had him by the neck of his blouse. “Where are they?” he paused, “Tell me”
“I don't know” Finn sounded unsure even to his own ears. “Listen, I promise-”
Poe started running down the hallway, heart beating like crazy in his chest. Something had happened to you and while he hoped Finn would be sincere if you’d died - maker, he wanted to throw up at the mere thought - he was scared of the uncertainty that lingered in Finn’s words and behaviour. What if you’d been kidnapped? What if you were in a coma?
Poe felt like he couldn't breathe.
He vaguely heard Finn running after him, calling his name, but his brain was solely occupied with finding you - and hopefully not your body.
Skirting around a few people, he finally reached the sleeping quarters, but once he’d reached your room, he found it empty.
“Man,” panted Finn, who had finally reached him, “They’re not here-”
“Where” insisted Poe, eyes filled with worry and fear.
Finn hadn't wanted to tell him like this - maker, the whole crew had thought of letting Poe settle down before giving him the news and telling him what had happened, but he should have known that it was going to be a shitty plan. Poe was going to look for you first thing when he’d touched base. The General had shook her head when she had overheard the plan, actually.
He sighed, hands going to his hips and shoulders dropping. “Just please don't freak out-”
“Don’t freak out?!” Poe stepped closer, “Bit late for that”
“Don’t,” insisted Finn, “They’re ok, but they’re still in the infirmary”
Poe didn't answer, bolting again. Finn huffed and followed.
“Why didn't you comm me?” Poe asked, still running, “Why not telling me immediately?”
“Because we knew you’d freak out!” Finn answered, catching up with him, “They wanted you to settle back before starting to run around like a headless droid”
Poe threw an affronted glance at Finn, but said nothing, knowing pretty well that he was actually freaking out. You were everything he had left, though, and after all the pining and the heartache and the pain, he didn't want to let you go ever. He wasn't sure he could go back to how he was before you.
He slowed down, glancing at Finn and then avoiding his eyes. “I just-” he sighed, “I love them, ok?”
“I know” Finn said, understanding, “But they’re fine, I promise. They wanted you to finish the mission and come back alive”
Their conversation had led them right to the infirmary wing and so Finn guided Poe to your room. With a nod and a pat on the back, Finn encouraged his friend to enter, before leaving.
As soon as you heard the door opening, you turned in its direction. Poe stood there, a bit breathless, and you grinned at him. “Hello love”
Now Poe could see you and except for a couple of bruises, you were alive and well. A huge wave of relief pervaded him and he felt like he could finally breathe. “What happened?” He walked closer, perching himself on your cot and linking your fingers with his. He brought your hand to his mouth, kissing it with reverence.
Smiling, you tried to lean up as much as you could to slant your lips over his. He cautiously accepted your kiss, mindful of possible injuries he hadn't noticed before. "Love-" he trailed off when you disconnected.
Huffing, you fell back on the cot. "Just kiss me properly flyboy"
"What happened?" he insisted.
"Kiss first"
He stood silent as you engaged in a staring contest. In the end, Poe relented and leaned down to kiss you. This time it was a true haven't-seen-you-in-a-while kiss. You hummed in it, enjoying having him back.
With a last lick of your lips, he moved back and observed you. "Now, tell me"
“Where’s my baby?” you deflected again, looking for BB, who chimed from the floor. “There you are,” you cooed, lifting a hand, which was immediately grabbed by Poe.
“Stop deflecting” he insisted, expression serious.
You sighed and bit your lip, cradling his hands in yours. "There was an accident in the hangar, a fuel leak, and I was nearby"
"You were near an explosion?!" there was an edge in his voice, eyes widening a fraction and you could feel his hands tightening their hold on yours.
"Yes but it was fine, I wasn't super close"
He blinked. "You could have died"
Shaking your head, you reassured him. "No, I promise it wasn't like that, you don't have to-"
"If you're saying worry, don't say it." He paused, kissing your hand again, "I'm always gonna worry about you"
You cooed at him, lifting a hand to caress his cheek. "That's sweet, but I'm ok"
Poe was chewing on his lips, still reeling in the worry and relief of everything he had heard. "Then why are you still here in the infirmary?"
"They just wanted to keep an eye on me for a few days," you paused, seeing the look in Poe's eyes, "But I'm sure they're gonna release me into your care, now that you're here"
"They better" he muttered under his breath, leaning down to quickly kiss you again. His hands tightened on yours, keeping them steady.
You smiled, “I missed you”
A small smile appeared on Poe’s face too when his eyes met your bright ones. “I missed you too, darling, was actually looking forward to spend some time with you”
“Well,” you shrugged, “we might not be allowed to do everything yet, but I guess I’ll be confined to rest for a bit longer”
He nodded, moving around on your bed to get comfortable. “I’m staying away from missions for a bit”
“Poe, no!” you exclaimed, not wanting him to slow down because of you. He was one of the best pilot the General had, his work was important for a lot of people. “You can’t-”
“I can,” he insisted, throwing you a glance that said that he had already decided. “What I do is important, but you’re important too- maker, you’re more important-”
“Poe-” you trailed off, almost disapprovingly.
Poe shook his head. “You are.” He paused, “It took us a while to get here and I have no intention to lose this chance, or lose you”
You were speechless. He had never been so open about his feelings, making you almost shed a tear at hearing his words. He was being sincere and honest, laying it all on the table and showing you how much he was into your relationship; how much he cared.
Giving him a watery smile, you sighed in happiness. “I love you” you whispered.
He grinned at your words and leaned in to kiss your forehead. “I love you too.” The words were mumbled against your skin, as if they were a secret, a soft confession only for your ears. They warmed your heart.
Smiling, you dragged Poe closer till he could comfortably hold you and as you settled into his arms, you knew there was no safer place for you to be; no place where you’d be loved more.
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eyelessfaces · 11 months
Text
better safe than sorry
poe dameron x reader
edit: this story has a prequel!
summary: tired of fighting with poe regarding his recklessness on missions, you chose to lose him by breaking up with him rather than by him dying thinking you'll be less hurt, only the weight of that decision keeps crushing you a bit more each day.
warnings: obvious mentions of a breakup, obvious angst, mentions of injuries, mentions of death
tags: f!reader, exes to lovers, feelings (lots of em), bb8 is a child of divorce, absolute idiots (that are still) in love, fluff
word count: 2.6k
I had so much fun writing this<3
better safe than sorry masterlist
masterlist | taglist | ao3
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The suffocating feeling crept inside your chest every single time. 
Every time you walked past him, lowering your head so you wouldn’t be tempted to make the moment linger, every time you scanned a room and your gaze caught him far away, every time you heard his voice, during the meetings, or involuntarily, when you heard his joyful laugh erupting from tables behind you in the cafeteria, it hurt every single time you were reminded of Poe Dameron.
And it was a shame, because he was probably the most popular man on base, so it hurt constantly.
Alright. Maybe it wasn’t only being reminded of him against your will that made it hurt, because you simply couldn’t not think of him anyways.
Even when you didn’t see him or didn’t hear of him, the little details of your everyday life constantly reminded you of him.
His scent was still clinging to his jacket he had given you, the jacket you wouldn’t dare to wear as if you didn’t feel worthy of it. The jacket you still kept and slept close to, inhaling its smell as you curled up in your bed.
His towel was also still in your refresher, and every time you saw it you made a mental note to give it back through Finn, but you could never bring yourself to actually do it. 
It also happened that every time you talked to Finn your tongue was burning with the want to ask how Poe was doing, but you avoided the subject for your own good, even if it was a bit selfish. You knew that if you asked Finn to give him the towel he would ask you how you were holding up regarding your break up, and you knew that your facade would crumble.
You wondered if he suffered too. You wondered if the littlest detail reminded him of you, if the quickest glance in your direction made his heart ache the way yours did.
You secretly hoped it was the case. 
Not that you wanted him to suffer, you just hoped he… still cared. You hoped he still cared about you the way you still cared about him.
And he did. 
He had to battle with his own mind to stay focused on his job, because you were the only thing on his mind.
He could have replaced you. Quickly. Easily.
As soon as it spread around base that Poe Dameron was free, the ones that had been waiting endlessly for this moment finally took their chance. 
He could have replaced you. He could have had plenty of opportunities. He could have gotten laid to try to forget about you for a few hours. He could have tried to make it more than just sex and try to fall in love with someone again to forget about you for good.
But he didn’t want to, because the wound was still wide open, still bleeding.
And what hurt the most with this wound was the fact that he thought the both of you were doing fine before you decided to break up with him. 
Kriff, more than fine, he was planning on getting rid of the ring on the chain around his neck so it could go at your finger. 
He didn't want to bandage this wound.
It's the afternoon and as you're making your way to the hangar to try to finally fix the wonky lever on your ship to avoid getting killed, your head turns at the sound of panicked and frantic beeps, and you spot BB-8 rolling towards your direction through the hallway you’re walking in. 
He slaloms through and around the crowd of people in his way, and they’re just like you, staring down at him, surprised at how fast the little droid is; it's surprising that sparks aren't forming under him on the floor.
Once the droid is down at your feet he doesn't stop rolling, but now he's doing circles around you, still making a cacophony of erratic beeps. 
You can't even figure out what he's trying to tell you considering how untamed he's being, and if he’s panicked, his behavior is starting to make you feel the same way. 
"Calm down Beebs, what's going on?" you coo, going down at his level, one knee on the floor. He rolls over and stops in front of you, beeping more composedly this time.
You frown as he beeps, readjusting your position. "Poe's hurt?" the words make your heart jump as you pronounce them, and every thought drowns in your head.
The droid beeps again to confirm, and you give him a small nod, biting on your bottom lip before getting up on both your feet and hurrying to medbay, the droid heeling you. 
You try to catch your breath once you finally arrive there, and as you can hear your heart beating in your chest in loud thuds, your heart actually sinks once you see Poe. 
It doesn’t sink in despair or in profound worry, it sinks in disbelief.
It sinks in disbelief because besides a broken arm enveloped in a cloth held by his neck, Poe seems perfectly fine. His head turns to you as he’s sitting on the edge of the medbay bed, and he looks surprised that you're here. You can understand.
You sigh and throw your head back, cursing the droid for making you worry so much and embarrassing you. 
You feel relieved that Poe is alright, but you also feel awful for the situation BB just put you in.
BB comes behind you and beeps joyfully, and Poe looks down at him and laughs. "Oh buddy you didn’t just do what I think you did, did you?"
The droid looks proud, his plan has worked.
You sigh again, tucking your hands in your pants back pockets. “He's a good actor. I truly thought you were dying.” you turn to BB, and point at him accusingly. “I can’t believe you just did that.” you hiss, and the droid keeps on beeping proudly.
"Why did you do that?" Poe asks, lowkey impressed, as his eyes follow the little droid rolling over to him. BB doesn't reply and just parks at the feet of his master.
You look around the room, not sure of what you should do now that you're here. You walk over and sit on the edge of the bed across from Poe.
"Are you okay though?" you ask, throwing your chin at your ex boyfriend's injured arm.
“Well life’s not exactly the same since we–”
“Oh– I was talking about your arm” you cut him off, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. 
No matter how hard you tried, this encounter would just be awkward huh?
"Oh yeah, just a rough landing.” he declares chuckling, looking down at his arm. “It's gonna take more than that to kill me." he mutters, his gaze darting to BB-8.
“This is exactly why I broke up with you, you know.” you throw accusingly, and he pinches his lips in a smile.
“Yet you still ran to me when you heard I got hurt” he can't hide the smirk on his face, he doesn't want to anyways.
You want to tell him that BB made it sound like he was dying so of course you wanted to be by his side, because you still care about him, but you decide to keep your mouth shut because whatever will come out of it will for sure make you want to dig your own grave.
So you chuckle and look down at your feet, and when you decide that you should probably go, he speaks again.
"You know you're kind of like his mother" he smiles softly, breaking the silence as he looks down at the droid at his feet.
You scoff, but your heart actually skips a beat. "Yeah so we're his divorced parents, right" you joke, though it’s half true, and it’s a miracle your voice doesn’t flinch because a small lump is slowly starting to form in your throat.
Poe grins timidly, and you look down at BB looking back and forth between you and Poe.
You want to speak again, but so does he, so you’re both blabbering out incoherent mumbles at the same time. 
You both laugh, and he points at you with his valid hand.
“You first” he offers, cocking an eyebrow, wondering what you were saying.
“I was about to say I should probably go.” you nod, sinking your hands into your pants pockets.
“Oh” 
“You?”
He bites down on his lip before talking. “I miss you. I was about to say I miss you.” 
You close your eyes and sigh, and the lump in your throat only keeps on growing bigger. You shouldn't feel so sad, because you brought this upon yourself, but you can't help it.
“I know. I mean– me too.” you nod, looking up at him. He looks sorry, and you feel sorry. "I miss you too." you admit, and admitting it only makes it feel even more real.
He weakly smiles at you, and the atmosphere in this room becomes too much, and you feel the need to leave.
"Okay. I should get going. Be careful with that arm" you softly smile before walking out the room.
There’s a good chance you’re experiencing the frequency illusion – the phenomenon of learning the meaning of a word then hearing it everywhere, because the frequency at which you accidentally run into Poe after your encounter in medbay is quite embarrassing. 
Awkward smiles are your only exchange, but the way he pinches his lips when he smiles at you makes you want to kiss them every single time.
Another downside of it is also that the more you see glimpses of him, the more you want to see him. Properly. It’s becoming a problem.
And the more you try to ignore it the more you’re reminded of the problem in question, and it’s a never ending circle.
Which is why you’re standing outside his quarters with his towel in hand, and while you’re still hesitating whether to do this or not, there’s part of you that tells you that this is absolutely stupid.
But there’s also that other part of you that craves the sight of him, the sound of his voice, his smell, his touch, the taste of his lips, and that part of you takes control and buzzes at his door.
It opens a few moments later, and BB-8 rolls behind him, beeping happily. You can’t help the small laugh that escapes your mouth, and Poe looks back at his droid, chuckling.
“It’s, uh– your towel.” you say, handing him it. He looks up at you then at it before taking it from your hand. “I’ve been meaning to give it back for a while but I kept forgetting”
“It’s just a towel, you could have kept it, you know.” he chuckles, throwing the cloth on his console.
“Yeah. It’s not just about the towel. I wanted to see you.” you admit, refraining your smile. You do a poor job at holding it back when a smug smile appears on his face.
“Oh yeah? You wanted to see me?” he asks smugly, leaning his forearm against the doorframe.
“Mmh” you nod, raising your eyebrows. He gestures for you to come in, and you kneel down to rub BB-8's head, making him roll on himself. “How’s your arm?” you ask looking up at Poe.
“Good. All healed up.” he nods, looking down at BB who leaves the room as if to give you some privacy.
"Good." you sigh, standing back up, placing yourself to stand in front of him. There's a strand of your hair that falls in front of your face, and he takes care of pushing it away, the tip of his fingers softly brushing against your forehead, his hand then resting at the juncture between your neck and your shoulder.
The gesture makes your breath catch in your throat, as if you're a teenager with a crush when you know Poe so well and you're accustomed to his soft gestures. 
You guess the context is what makes it so special, so fragile.
You lightly clear your throat, doing your best to seem composed.
“I uh, it’s stupid. The reason I broke up with you is stupid. I got so scared the other day when I heard you got hurt and my only thought was ‘You’re stupid, all of this is so stupid, he’s gonna die thinking you don’t love him and thinking your principles matter more than him’.” you start, and he opens his mouth but you continue to speak before he can. 
“This is not what happened because you weren’t really dying but that thought has been haunting me ever since. Away from you or not you’re gonna get hurt anyways and I’m gonna be in love with you anyways and I can’t change the way you are so if I had to choose, I’d rather be by your side.” you nod, chuckling nervously, your heart beating so fast you wonder if he can hear it.
He softly chews on his bottom lip, nodding.
“Okay.” he whispers, and he sighs before pulling you into his arms. A sigh of relief escapes your mouth as your forehead rests against his shoulder, and your arms wrap around him as he cups the back of your head. “It’s my fault too. I’m sorry. I’ll change, I promise” he whispers into your ear, and you look back at him, putting a hand to his face.
“I’m not asking you to change for me. I’m asking you to be a little more careful.” 
He nods before leaning in and kissing you, and you can only deepen it.
It is probably the most healing kiss you’ve ever exchanged, and when you pull away you still remain close. Your nose brushes against his as you play with the curls behind his ears, and his eyes crinkle as he softly smiles at you before leaving some more light kisses at your lips. 
He rests his forehead against yours before pulling away, and he comes back to reality at that moment, and you can see something looks wrong when he starts pacing around, his hands over his hips.
"I'm leaving tomorrow." he declares, looking back at you. "I signed up for a month-long mission." he can see the frustrated look in your eyes, and he almost feels guilty for leaving you so soon after you've been reunited.
“A month long?” you repeat, and he slowly nods, pinching his lips. "Poe Dameron you better come back al–"
"–Yes I promise you, I'll come back alive, and without a scratch" he cuts you off, chuckling. "I promise. No risky maneuvers." he assures, taking a step closer to you.
"Alright." you smile, bringing him closer to kiss him again.
You fall asleep clinging to each other, his back pressed flush against your chest and your arms tightly wrapped around him.
When you wake up the next morning, he's already long gone, his side of the bed so cold you could even doubt he has ever been there if you didn’t have the vague memory of him leaving a kiss on your forehead before he left his own quarters.
The month where he's gone feels like the longest month of your life, but the reward of it is that when he comes back he's exactly the way he was when he left, not a single scratch in sight. 
He begs you to take a day off of work to spend time with him and catch up, and during that day he brings you to a pretty planet he discovered while on mission where he asks you to marry him, the ring around his chain finally finding its right place after so many years.
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I had so much fun writing this please give me feedback :'))
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im-poe-dameron · 2 years
Note
you're upset one night, and you don't know where to go, so you end up at your enemy's house, and as they open the door, you stay silent for a second, before saying (with tears in your eyes) ''i don't know where else to go.'' your enemy doesn't say anything. instead they pull you into their arms, giving you a shoulder to cry on.
- back at it again with another prompt! could i possibly get this one with my other favorite flyboy, poe dameron?
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IT'S ALWAYS BELONGED TO YOU
a/n: okay so this has been in my inbox for SO LONG, but i got a huge spark of inspiration and was in the mood to write for poe. so out came whatever this fic is of enemies to lovers meets heated arguments meets well...........the good stuff. i finished this tipsy and half asleep so i don't even know if it makes sense but enjoy my darling!! (yes the title is from will turner). unedited and not beta read so there is most likely mistakes.
summary: injured from a fight at the cantina you seek out someone unexpected.
pairing: poe dameron x fem!reader
word count: 5.5k+ (i guess?!)
warnings: explicit so minors BEGONE, cussing, so much angst, bacta shot (aka involving a needle), pain, arguing, mentions of death, fingering, cum eating, overstimulation (blink and you'll miss it), fluff.
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The frigid feeling of the night on your bare skin kept you from staying still and debating on whether or not this was a good idea. Somewhere in the brawl you forgot your jacket hanging on the back of your chair. The same jacket that once belonged to your father. You wanted to go back for it, but you’d been tossed out of the cantina for a reason and re-entering didn’t seem like a feasible option.
With reluctance filling every bone of your body, you made your way through the rain and back towards the camp you’d been tasked with protecting. You weren’t sure why you were put in the same group of people as the man who hated you so thoroughly is hurt at times–but there you were. A part of you wanted to fall into your slightly uncomfortable cot for the night; giving up without another thought.
Only you knew that if you showed up with a split lip and cuts on your knuckles, you’d be reprimanded to Corellia and back. Which left you with only one other option.
Sighing, you tightened your still bleeding hands into fists, trying to ignore the chills that spread rapidly down your spine.
His door looked more threatening than a whole horde of stormtroopers. It was a ridiculous notion to come to, but there you were–unable to simply knock and ask for help. You were hopeless when it came to admitting that you needed it in the first place. Asking someone–let alone the man who loathed your very being–made you realize that you’d rather face those stormtroopers. 
What were twenty men with blasters compared to this situation?
A cough wracked your body, sending a searing pain down your side as you practically shivered. It was then you realized the bastard from earlier has most likely snapped a rib or two.
How would you explain this? How could you come back from this?
Nothing was worse than asking someone you considered an enemy for help.
Fighting the urge to tuck your tail between your legs and run, you raised your arm–knocking assuredly on the door. There was absolutely no turning back now. Which is what you were afraid of.
The echo of rain hitting against metal rang in the clearing behind you–reminding you of what you’d have to walk through in order to get home. If he said no, laughed in your face and refused to help, you’d be horrified but you would go. After all, the both of you had treated one another with enough cruelty to make even Leia herself shocked. You weren’t even sure what caused this whole situation in the first place.
Why did you hate each other?
Why did you want to see him hurt and why did he want to do the same to you?
For months you could barely be in the same room together for more than five minutes before you were going at each other’s throats. Yet you were pretty sure if someone asked you what started it all–neither of you would have an answer. It just seemed to materialize out of thin air. The hatred seeping so far into your hearts, you couldn’t find a good enough reason to let go of it.
You vaguely heard him shuffling towards the door, a thump of him hitting something filtering through the metal.
There was still time. You could sprint the other way and forget this whole night ever happened. You’d patched yourself up numerous times before. Why did you need him to do it this time?
You were five seconds away from turning tail and running when the door slid open to reveal a shirtless and sleep deprived Poe Dameron. The slight shock on his face at seeing you was almost laughable. Except you then realized–you couldn’t laugh without doubling over in pain. The surprise quickly slipped from his face, being replaced by a sour look you would recognize anywhere.
“Hi,” you said softly, tucking your hands behind your back to hide the sight of your split open skin. That however didn’t stop his eyes from falling to your bleeding lip. “I know I have no right to ask this–”
“Who did that to you?”
The small tendrils of heat you’d been reaching for began to curl around your chest. Squeezing tightly until you had no choice but to acknowledge that they were there in the first place. Your rib still hurt like hell, yet hearing the slight worry in his voice counteracted that pain.
“Doesn’t matter,” you said quickly.
“That’s not what I asked,” he said–eyes hardening as they fell to the way you were leaning against the wall, placing more weight on your left side than your right.
You’d only ever seen him look this way during the heat of battle. When he was determined to come out victorious–the rage shining through the dark brown of his iris, nearly burning a hole through your chest. He was angry you were hurt. It was a surprise to come to that realization and yet it wasn’t an unwelcome one at that. Shifting your body, you tried to alleviate some of the pain that shot down to your leg–feeling like you might pass out from hypothermia the longer you stood there.
“Some guys in the cantina didn’t want to believe I was with the Resistance,” you huffed, shrugging your shoulders slightly. “They are worse off than I am. Trust me.”
“Where are they?”
A flutter tore through your heart. You’d never felt this way in his presence before. Some part of you knew that you were supposed to have these emotions when it came to Poe, but that was just it. The knowledge that this felt wrong–made it feel so right.
Maybe that’s where the hatred came from. The incessant understanding that this–whatever it was–should not happen. Poe was going to one day be a general and you would remain just the way you were. An engineer who knew their way around a blaster in the midst of battle, but nothing more. So, you shoved down the emotions you were feeling until they settled at the bottom of your stomach–turning your body bitter.
Poe Dameron, no matter how appealing he was to you in this moment, would only ever be the asshole who called you names like slip and rookie.
“Why come here?” he asked, still taking up space in his doorway–keeping you outside.
He wanted an answer and just like when you were asked why you hated him–you couldn’t come up with a good one. Why were you there? Why did you feel the need to come to him? For all you knew he would do a shitty job in patching you up, but that didn’t seem to matter. You knew the answer and you also knew…you didn’t want to say the answer.
“I–I didn’t know where else to go,” you replied, lying through your clenched teeth.
Waiting for him to laugh–tell you to go back to your, too small, cot was worse than the pain now spreading like a fire through your chest. Except he merely stepped to the side, giving you enough space to hobble inside–tears building up in your eyes at the small act of kindness. His hand landed on your arm, dragging it up until your knuckles were directly in his line of sight.
“It’s not that bad,” you blurted out, forcing yourself not to wince when he led you to the small stool placed near what you assumed to be a kitchen.
“Bullshit,” he muttered.
Just that one simple word brought a smile to your face, but you promptly wiped it away as he returned with a bacta kit and a wrap from your waist. You hadn’t even told him that you suspected your ribs were broken. He could simply tell by the way you were holding yourself. Once again that sickeningly sweet warmth shoved its way to the center of your chest, spreading up towards your neck.
He didn’t speak as he cleaned your knuckles. Simply kept his head ducked down–his curls falling against his forehead as he tried to pull out whatever glass might have been there. The alcohol in your veins was gone the second his hand touched yours. The feeling sobering you up quicker than you would have liked. Which meant you now had to sit and try not to stare at his still half bare form; or the way the muscles on his back tightened as he hunched over slightly to get a closer look.
“How many were there?” he asked, breaking the silence.
Again you winced, averting your eyes when he lifted his head. “Four.” The word was mumbled under your breath, and it wasn’t until you felt his hand tighten around your own, did your gaze snap back to his.
“What the fuck slip,” he breathed.
“Look they weren’t–”
“You could have gotten yourself killed,” he snapped.
Rearing back, you tried not to flinch from the pain in your side. “I was perfectly fine on my own.”
“Perfectly fine huh?” He stood when you nodded defiantly. “Then explain why you came to me bleeding.”
“I told you I had nowhere else to go,” you said.
He scoffed, shoving the opposite stool he was on closer to you, and sitting down. “Don’t lie to me.”
“Why?” Now it was his turn to back away. “Why shouldn’t I lie to you? If you haven’t noticed Dameron–we hate each other. I can’t remember a single time you were ever nice to me willingly so give me one good reason why I should even consider telling you the truth.”
“Because–”
“Because why?” you shouted, no longer in control of the emotions that unraveled your very being.
This was inevitable in the end. A fight between foes–when the meaning was far more than either of you could comprehend at a time like this. If you weren’t injured, you’d have tried to shove him away from you. Put as much distance between the both of you as possible, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his, let alone shift your body away far enough to clear your head.
“Because it’s us!” Dropping his head into his hands he rubbed at his eyes, oblivious to the way your mouth dropped open slightly. “It’s us. And yeah we fight, and we try to kill each other, but it’s us. I’d take a fucking bolt from a blaster for you.”
Your breath hitched, eyes watering at the sight of him tearing his own walls down for you. The same person he made everyone think he hated. You must have been stuck in a dream that found its fun in making something like this feel so real. It was twisted how much you longed for it to be real–how you wished you could break down your own walls just as he did.
“Poe–”
“If you don’t think that’s true then you obviously don’t know who pushed you out of the way in the last battle.”
You remember that day. A stormtrooper had gotten the upper hand, and while you were attempting to leap for an abandoned blaster on the floor, he had fired the shot. Someone shoved you of the way, effectively knocking your head against a rock and knocking you out. Except they had saved you from dying. Now–as you watched him run his hands through his hair to appease some of the stress building in his body, you realized how wrong you’d read every situation since then.
The walls holding in every built in emotion you had felt in the last year cracked. Severing your armor in two–allowing him to see a part of you that you closed off to everyone else.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” you breathed, eyes still wide.
He shrugged. “Why didn’t you tell me you took down the TIE fighter that nearly blew me to pieces?”
Freezing in place, you watched his lips tug upwards in a small grin as the truth finally spilled free. You weren’t even supposed to be in an X-Wing, but then you heard the panicked transmission call. They were out-manned, outgunned, and on the verge of being wiped out. So you did the smart thing. You jumped in a ship and attempted to help–saving Dameron halfway through the battle from the very brink of death.
“How did you–”
He leaned closer, invading whatever personal space you had left. “Rose can’t keep a secret to save her life after four glasses of Jet juice.”
“You knew this whole time that I saved you?” Exhaling a shaky breath, you tried to stop your heart from leaping out of your chest. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?”
“I figured you hated me, but not enough to watch me die.”
“Poe Dameron you’re an asshole.” It was said through a weak laugh, the tears spilling down your cheek as you realized how stupid the both of you were.
He smiled, cupping your face and wiping them away with a soft brush of his thumbs. “Right back at you slip.”
Shifting, you managed to lean your forehead against his, eyes shutting for a moment of peace. “Hey, why do you call me that?”
His huff of laughter washed across your face–his thumbs still stroking your cheeks. “Cause you slipped through my fingers when we first met and have been ever since.”
If you didn’t feel the absolute ache in your chest before that moment, you did now. Somehow he’d taken every time you’d burned with anger towards him and flipped it–causing you to burn, ache, long for him the longer you sat there. He was the reason you were still alive; the true reason why you came here for help instead of anywhere else. You wanted to see him–to know that the loathing he felt was just a cover for something he couldn't quite yet describe.
“Poe,” you whispered, placing your hands on his shoulder in order to keep him from moving. “I–” The breath in your lungs stuttered as you tried to get out words that you never realized you felt until tonight.
They were stuck, lodged in your throat as you realized what it would mean for you to finally admit that this was real. You’d have to open up to him–show him all the ugly bits you did your best to ignore, because they were far from perfect. You were far from perfect. Except he didn’t seem to care.
“I know,” he said. “Me too.”
Gripping lightly on his hair you dragged him closer until his lips sealed over yours, effectively stopping your heart. You were nearly positive that he’d stolen every breath you had ever taken and would take in the course of your life, with this one single kiss. Which only made you press against him harder, lips moving in a more swift manner to forget the pain you both put each other through to get here. How stupid were you to think you could make an enemy out of a fated lover.
Licking against his bottom lip, you felt his hand slide from your cheeks down to your waist. Gentle enough to avoid the wounded areas, but firm in the decision he was making. He chose you. He’d always choose you.
The taste of him would leave you inebriated for days to come. Peppermint and something so purely him that you wouldn’t have been able to put into words even if you tried. Somehow that left you wanton, desperate for more. It stuck to your taste buds, shooting lust through your veins. Curling your fingers even further into his hair, you tentatively opened your mouth to him, shivering when he took the initiative to lick slowly–hotly–against your tongue.
You could stay there for hours just doing this. Tasting him for as long as time allotted you to do so. However, fate had a slight difference in opinion, because as you moaned into his mouth, he gripped your side–sending a jarring pain down to the very tips of your toes. Crying out, you yanked him back by his hair; an audible groan tearing from his throat.
“I’m sorry,” you said, letting go instantly. “I just–”
“Where does it hurt?” He bypassed your apology, choosing instead to run his hands lightly over your side until he caught you noticeably flinching.
“It’s–fuck–I swear it’s fine.”
He shook his head, biting back his smile as you attempted to play off the pain that nearly had you collapsing onto the floor. Picking up the bacta kit he began to put it together. Really it would take a few seconds and it would be over with, but the way he glanced at you for permission before lifting the side of your shirt, felt like the act took longer than that. Biting down on your split lip, you ignored the way your body tensed when his warm calloused hands touched your side.
“This might hurt,” he mumbled, still so close that you could feel his breath against your arm.
“I can take it.”
Seeing him attempt to swallow down his smirk had your thighs clenching together. While you certainly hadn’t meant for it to sound that way, you weren’t upset when his mind fell to that conclusion. If you weren’t stuck in one spot, you’d have asked him to do far more than simply kiss you. Which made the entire situation that much more aggravating.
You could only kiss him.
Tensing as the needle punctured your skin, you forced yourself to think of anything other than the situation you were in. You couldn’t look at him–not when he was leaning forward like this, his lips inches away from your arm. Not when you could feel your control wavering, on the verge of snapping in two. Fuck your injuries, you’d heal eventually, but knowing Poe he’d demand that before either of you two did anything–you’d have to heal first.
“Stop fidgeting,” he said, pressing down on your side to keep you from pulling away.
“Just hurry up.”
“I’d be able to if you sat still.”
Grumbling under your breath, you felt him pull away, the clink of the needle hitting the counter coming from behind you. “Is that it?”
“I’m going to have to bandage your waist until we can get you to the medic tomorrow.”
“The bacta won’t…heal my ribs?”
He chuckled, grabbing the bandages he had pulled out from the closet you all had in case of emergency. “No it won’t. Bones are a little more complicated.”
“Well fuck–” Wincing when you shifted back, you saw him pause a foot away from you. “What’s wrong? Not enough bandages?”
Poe stumbled over his words, his eyes dropping to your body before dragging back to your eyes. You felt the tug in your stomach at the sight of him openly admiring you, but you shoved it down. Too prideful to admit that you liked the look on his face and wanted to see it again and again.
“No–uh–I’m going to need you to–well–”
“Spit it out Dameron,” you said, a teasing smile spreading across your lips. “It can’t be that hard.”
The words had their intended effect. His eyes narrowed, hands gripping the bandages tighter as he stared at you without any embarrassment in his eyes. Something shifted in the air around you–nearly sparking a fire that slowly inched its way through your body.
“Take off your shirt.” His clipped tone caused your body to react in such a visceral way you nearly let an incoherent whine slip free.
“What?”
Stepping closer, he began to unravel the bandages. “Unless you want the bandages on top of the fabric.”
“No–I–” If you weren't being watched by him–stuttering underneath his gaze–you would have made a sly comment. No doubt causing yet another argument, but the look in his eyes quickened your pace.
It took you painfully shifting and him helping you–his hands dragging up your sides slow enough to have you shutting your eyes for some reprieve–for you to finally get the shirt off. You were better off simply sitting here rather than feeling him handle you as if you’d break any minute. It was maddening. Yet each time he wound his arms around you to keep the bandage straight, each brush of his hands along your bare skin, sent shivers down your spine.
“Almost done,” he said.
You opened your eyes, peeking at his face and felt your stomach bottom out. His jaw was clenched, eyes staring directly at his hands that didn’t stray from his task. What you thought was merely you overreacting at the loss of touch you’d experienced, was something else entirely. Poe had always been the man to keep perfect control over everything he worked on–a spitting image of the leader he was meant to be. At times you found it annoying, except you never realized how far his need for control went.
“Poe,” you murmured, breaking through his tightly locked mindset and allowing him a moment to pull away.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked.
Shaking your head, you ran your fingers through his curls, pushing them away from his forehead. You never understood the fascination with a man’s hair until this moment. Until he titled his head back–leaning into your touch–as his eyes fluttered shut. The look on his face nearly brought you down to your knees and even as he opened his eyes, you saw the brown nearly swallowed whole by his pupil. He wanted more.
You both did.
“Poe–”
He pulled away, returning to his spot on the stool and tying off the bandage. “You’re injured,” he said. In all honesty you weren’t sure if he was trying to convince you or himself. “I’m not going to be the reason you hurt even more.”
“You won’t hurt me.”
The words felt strange coming from you, knowing everything you went through to get to this point. It was ironic in a way. Except you couldn’t focus on the past–you didn’t want to. Knowing that the thoughts you had weren’t just fickle emotions, brought out new sensations you knew only he could make you feel. Poe Dameron was an addiction you didn’t want to kick. He was the poison in your veins and the antidote on your tongue.
Wincing, you leaned forward to bring his gaze back to you. “You can still kiss me…”
The worry on his face gave way to a smile you’d only seen directed at you a few times. Well–the times you’d actually been looking at him. You didn’t know it yet, but you were the cause of nearly all his smiles; the reason he found himself in a daze–lost in thoughts of you. Without hesitation, he captured your lips with his. The tang of him, already something you missed, once again filled your senses. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to drag him closer or pull away for air, but you decided on the former.
Gasping as one of his hands hesitantly brushed against your bare breast, you nearly fell into his lap. If you weren’t careful the both of you would end up on the floor and that would cause more harm than good. Poe knew that, which is why it only took him a few seconds to switch places with you. Shifting your body until your legs were over his thighs–the heat of his body now pressing firmly against yours.
“Fuck–” you breathed; practically shaking as your nipples brushed against his bare chest.
“My beautiful girl,” he mumbled against your cheek, his lips trailing down to your jaw–nipping lightly at the skin there. “Saved my life.”
The words you intended to say came out as a whine of his name instead when he pressed your hips down against his own. Effectively grinding his cock right against your clothed cunt. Sparks trailed up your spine, giving kindling to the fire that now streaked its way through your veins–causing you to press even closer to him.
Thankfully the bacta shot numbed the pain you were in, but you knew things wouldn’t get farther than this tonight. If there’s one thing you understood–Poe never backed out on his word. He’d kiss you until your head went fuzzy and your heart nearly gave out, but he wouldn’t press you into something that would cause your body pain. Somehow that only made you want him more. Until you were practically dragging yourself against his lap and sucking his tongue into your mouth.
He groaned, his hand grasping at your ass to still your movements. “We can’t–”
“Please,” you breathed; the beg was clear in your voice. “I’ll be good.”
“Fuck baby you’re going to kill me.”
Giggling, you scraped your teeth along his jaw. “You and I both know it takes a lot more than me begging for your cock to kill you.”
“Don’t be so sure about that,” he grunted, his hand reaching for the button of your pants.
The first touch of his fingers sliding through your slick nearly caused you to lose all sense of yourself. A heady moan ripped its way out of your throat as you tucked your face into his neck. Without meaning to, you began to grind against his fingers–positive that you wouldn’t last more than a few minutes from just him exploring. You were desperate for him; aching to feel him fill you entirely.
“Is this cause of me?” he asked, his eyes wide at the feeling of you practically dripping onto his palm.
You nodded, pressing your lips against his. “Yes. Now can you please–please touch me.”
Your heart nearly shattered when he shook his head, pulling his hand from you. This was the sensible thing to do. Wait until you are completely healed to move any further. Only you couldn’t stop the cry of desperation from leaving you. Steadying your breath, you began to shift away from him; certain that the both of you would simply head to bed now.
His hand grasping onto yours is what stopped you from moving.
“What–”
“Show me,” he breathed, dragging your bottom lip into his mouth and letting it go.
“Huh?” Your brain had turned to mush at the idea he was suggesting.
It wasn’t until he clasped your hand over his, having you guide him towards your cunt did you realize exactly what he wanted. Show me. He wanted to know what you wanted. How you liked to be touched; what exactly would get you there to the very edge of climaxing. His eyes were clouded with lust, mouth swollen and spit slicked as he watched the realization dawn on your face.
“Show me,” he urged a second time, biting down on his bottom lip when you finally took the initiative.
A ragged gasp left you when you pressed his fingers lightly to your clit, teaching him the pace that made your toes curl. Already you could feel your orgasm building, the tightening in your stomach growing with every swipe of his calloused fingers against you. Pushing his hand down further, you guided him, moaning when his fingers caught on your entrance. It wouldn’t take you long to hit that peak, his name already a pleaded out moan on your lips, but you needed more than what you could show him.
“I need–” You tilted your head back when he pressed the first finger into you.
“What do you need?” he asked, his other hand cupping the back of your neck to bring your lips back to his. “Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”
“I–” He slid another finger into you, smiling briefly as you choked on your words. “I need more. Oh fuck.”
“Yeah?”
You nodded, digging your nails into his shoulder. If you thought you were guiding him on how to give you an orgasm, you were sorely mistaken. Within seconds, you were a mess on his lap as he sped up the pace of his fingers, the heel of his palm grinding against your clit with every movement. Feeling his eyes on you as your mouth dropped open and your eyes fell shut was almost too much.
“Poe!” you cried out when he found the spot along your walls, rubbing his fingers over it with every thrust. “I’m gonna–ah fuck I’m gonna cum.”
“C’mon baby,” he murmured. “Cum on my fingers.”
You didn’t hear the rest of his words, because the coil in your body finally snapped. Shattering your very being in two as he pushed you even higher with his fingers. Above the sounds of your breathing was the audible echo of his fingers plunging in and out of your cunt. The wet squelch enough to have your orgasm prolonging to a point of near pain.
Sobbing out his name, your legs shook as he gradually slowed the pace of his hand until you were reaching down to stop it altogether. Sparks spread up and down your spine, rendering you immobile as you gasped for a full lungful of air.
“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, the disbelief clear in his voice.
Laughing softly, you pressed your lips against his. “I can’t feel my legs.”
“Good kind or…”
“Definitely the good kind.”
You watched as he sucked his fingers into his mouth, moaning at the taste of you. The sight of his eyes shutting in bliss made your clit throb and you nearly asked him to do it again. Instead, you opted for kissing him–tasting yourself on his tongue–while you waited for the feeling in your legs to return.
Which they did a few minutes later.
“Oh shit,” you muttered, glancing at the digital clock he had attached to the wall.
“What’s wrong?” Sighing, you attempted to get up from his lap only to have him stop you. “What happened?”
“I forgot my jacket at the cantina,” you said.
“You can wear mine.”
The ease in which he said those words reminded you of your feelings. You would choose him again and again, no matter the consequences in the end.
“I’d love to,” you replied, wincing as you stood up. “But it was my dad’s jacket. I can’t lose it.”
Poe got to his feet–his hands settling on your hips to keep you steady. “Wasn’t he a pilot?”
“In the Rebellion. Yeah. I didn’t know you knew that.”
“I always paid attention when you thought I didn’t.”
Smiling, you felt heat begin to creep up the back of your neck, warming your face. “Thanks…for paying attention.”
“Don’t thank me yet slip,” he said, leading you through a few stumbling steps till your legs hit the edge of his bed. “I’ve still got to make you see the Maker once you’re fully healed.”
He laughed when you smacked him on the arm, your body finding the thought incredibly appealing. There was something dangerous about being this in tune with someone you thought you hated once. You weren’t sure it was a good thing or a bad thing yet, but you knew he’d help you find out eventually. So, rather than fight against the feelings that begged to be bricked up and hidden, you gave into something greater.
It took three more sexual jokes, a kiss or two, but soon you were lying together in the bed, his chest pressed against yours. You tucked your head into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent as you drifted off. Happy for once in a very long time.
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Feeling the uncomfortable ache return to your side woke you up from your relaxing sleep–causing irritation to rise in your body. Poe slept soundly beside you, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist and head pressed into your neck. Which is why you tried to stay as still as possible. Except you could feel the burn start to come back with full force.
You had to see a medic today. The sooner the better.
Shifting slowly, you managed to turn to your other side–relieving some of the pain. Only to freeze as you caught sight of the brown leather pilot’s jacket hanging off the back of a chair. Blinking, you cleared the sleep from your eyes to make sure you were seeing what you actually thought you were seeing. The same jacket you’d left behind–the very last piece of your father you had–was directly in front of you.
Your breath caught in your throat–the tears welling up in your eyes. Poe had ventured out into the pouring rain in the late hours of the night, all to retrieve your jacket. He knew how important it was to you; understood the significance of the garment you wore proudly each and every day.
Blinking back the tears you felt the last of your walls crumble into pieces around you. Finally exposing your heart to the world that had turned it cold in the first place. Only now, as you felt Poe stir behind you–your eyes still stuck on your jacket–did you know that your heart was eternally protected. Just as he saved your life and healed your wounds, he’d do the same for your heart.
For as long as time allowed.
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jake-g-lockley · 1 year
Text
Did You Mean It? (Poe Dameron x reader)
Masterlist | Playlist
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1.3 k
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A/N: Short lil thing I wrote spontaneously out of a lil thought, Poe my beloved <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Your eyes are trained intensely onto the monitor before you, your hands pressing down on the earmuffs of your coms. His face was illuminated by a big blast as a victorious smile bloomed. A joyous laugh rang through your ears, turning your stomach into an unstable rollercoaster.
“YOU SAW THAT Y/N?!” he yelled. “YOU OWE ME DRINKS!”
Commander Poe Dameron never failed to make your heart skip its way straight to oblivion. From the first second you met him, his aura drew you to him and his character made you stay. Every single day with him was like a new adventure and you wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Your admiration for him turned into love before you could stop yourself from falling into the abyss that was your feelings. You repressed everything, worried that if you had let anything slip out it would ruin you. He is your commander, your squadron leader, your best friend. You are his flight lieutenant, a pilot to him, a soldier of the rebellion.
The pain of wanting to maintain everything to be strictly professional and platonic was absolutely unbearable. People would shoot you with knowing looks when Poe would casually wrap his arm around your shoulder, bring you a plate of food or even joke with you. You reciprocated everything, casually of course, until people stopped batting their eyes at the both of you.
Internally, you couldn’t get enough of him. His laughter was your drug, his smile your light, his warm embrace your oxygen. You needed him to thrive, to stay alive. You tried going on dates with random people you knew, you tried meditating the feelings away and you even tried avoiding him but in the end, you would always still want to run your hands in his stupid crown of curls.
You switch to a private channel and roll your eyes at the pretty commander. “Maker, I’m never gonna hear the end of this aren’t I?”
“This is why you never make bets with the best, my girl.” he retorted cheekily.
My girl.
Ignoring the blatant thudding in your chest from his casual cuteness, you replied, “Ugh, could the next bet be something that I’m good at for a change? Let’s bet on the fact that you’ll clean your room if you lose, Commander Stinky.”
The Mess of Poe Dameron’s Quarters was a tale known amongst many at base. It all started when BB-8 blew a fuse and Poe had insisted he would fix him all on his own. It only took three explosions and two fires for him to finally let you come over and fix the poor droid.
“Deal. Mainly because we all know I’m good at everything. Get your cleaning supplies ready Y/N, you’ll need to clean my X-Wing too!”
“HEY! THE X-WING WASN’T PART OF THE DEAL!” you yell into the coms.
“Fine. Just the room. Then maybe you’ll start visiting me there more often?” Poe wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at the camera.
Your face burned at the thought but you brushed it off as quickly as the speed that the statement left Poe’s mouth.
“Maturity is unfortunately not your strongest suit, Commander.” you said grimly.
“So I have been told. Landing in a bit, see you then for the debrief?” he winked, flashing you his beautiful smile.
“Copy that, see you at base. Love you.” you say hazily, smiling at him.
You froze as your mind blanked out and your dopey smile dropped. Your brain replayed what you said over and over again like a broken record and you sank far into your seat.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Your brain literally couldn’t believe how badly your tongue betrayed you. Your hands started to shake and you felt cold sweat beading on your forehead. Your breath started coming and going in short puffs as you tried to gather your bearings.
Scrambling back up, you pull the mic close to your face.
“Commander?” you say shakily.
No answer.
“P-poe?” you whisper.
Poe had already shut his coms off and you heard cheers erupting as you presumed his arrival at base.
He might not have heard you right?
You straightened your uniform and slowly made your way to the main meeting room where Poe Dameron marched in from the other side, in all his piloting glory. You froze again in shock as you caught the emotionless expression he wore. You averted your eyes from him as he took his place beside you.
You could only hear the blood roaring thunderously in your ears as Poe headed the debrief. You wanted nothing more than to run to your room and hide under your covers. Once you saw people moving around, you realized that everyone has been dismissed. You were going to attempt to make a beeline for the exit once everyone was gone but a strong hand powerfully gripped your wrist and pulled you back.
You found yourself crashing right back into Poe. His free hand steadied you and adjusted you so that you were standing in the middle of his two feet.
“Didn’t say I was done with you.” he whispered. “What did you say right before I cut off coms, Y/N?”
You were shaking, your mind raced to the worst of conclusions and you realized that today might be the day you lose your friendship with Poe Dameron.
The hand at your snaked up your arm and cupped your jaw, tipping your face so that you were facing him. His eyes softened as he gazed into yours, your heart melting at the sight of the lovely brown orbs.
“What did you say?” He repeated, a little louder this time and your heart skipped a beat.
“Commander, it was a slip of the tongue, just an accident.” you pleaded, trying not to let your heavy breathing get the best of you.
“Did you mean it?”
“What?”
“I said, did you mean what you said over coms?”
Fuck it.
Yet again, your tongue betrayed your brain as fast as lightning, terrorizing your mind.
“Yea.” you whisper.
“Oh Maker…” Poe sighed.
He leaned into you and pressed his forehead to yours, your eyes fluttering close as you felt yourself slowly going into cardiac arrest.
“Say it again. Say what you said over coms again. Please?” He whispered.
“I love you.” you whisper back, in a trance.
“Again.” Poe said, let out a shaky breath.
“I love you.” you swayed with him as he caressed your cheek.
“One last time. Please.” he was the one pleading now, his voice desperate as he pulled away to look at you.
“I love you. I love you. I love-”
Poe cuts you off with a breathtaking kiss. If he wasn’t holding on to you, you would be best friends with the floor. You melt into his touch, binding yourself with him as your thoughts struggle to comprehend what was happening. He kissed you like you were water and he was a man lost on Tatooine.
“I. Love. You. Too.” he breathed out the second his lips left yours.
Your face erupted into a symphony of emotions and you wrapped your arms around Poe’s neck, hugging him close.
“I could sit here and give you a billion reasons why I do but I’d bore you to death. What do you think happened to poor BB?” Poe sheepishly said into your shoulder.
“WAIT! BB fused that chip because you were talking about ME?” you gasped, appalled.
“Yea.”
“You’re a menace, Dameron.”
“I’m your menace.” He said pulling back to look at you again.
Nothing mattered then. Your Poe was now yours and you had everything you wanted. Except-
“This isn’t a coup for me to clean your room right?” you checked.
“Huh, should've thought of that.” Poe says thoughtfully, earning himself a punch. “Okay! You win this round, I’ll get the cleaning supplies.”
“That’s more like it, Dameron.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Tagging: @ahookedheroespureheart @mintpurplemnm @delightful-kiwi @p0edameronswife @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @cherryesskisses @einno-arko
Reblogs are appreciated <3 love you all so so much *muah*
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Text
Slow it Down
AN: Happy Wanksgiving, y'all (and Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate)! This is my contribution. I meant to write something else but the muse wants what it wants and she wanted Poe so, hope y'all enjoy. 😘
(Un-beta’d - i wrote this in like 2 hours and barely proofread it so lol, apologies for any mistakes)
You’ve never seen him like this before, so rushed, so…frantic. Normally, he takes his time, draws everything out, especially when he’s been away, but it’s different this time. He’s different.
Rated: M+ (this is smut so, i mean, you’ve been warned?) Words: 1,312 Pairing: Poe Dameron x F!Reader Warnings: established relationship, desperate!angsty!Poe, p in v, oral sex, a little roughness, choking (barely), creampie, a little cockwarming (please let me know if i missed anything). AO3
——————
You fall into the room, a tangle of limbs, tongues, and teeth, moans muffled by Poe’s tongue in your mouth. Poe pushes you against the durasteel door when it slides closed, pressing his body along the length of you, hands pulling at your uniform. You gasp when he tweaks your nipple through the rough fabric of your shirt, breaking the kiss. He doesn’t stop though, mouthing down your neck, nipping at your jaw, hot tongue dipping into the notch at the base of your throat. You’re completely at his mercy, simply clinging to him, fingers tangling in his soft, dark curls. 
He pulls back slightly, fingers fumbling with the buttons on your shirt. He quickly pushes the offending material from your shoulders, mouth latching onto your breast as his hands drop to the waistband of your pants. He has you laid out on the bed before you even realize he’s moving, fingers pulling down your underwear just as quickly. 
“Poe,” you pant, trying to get his attention as he tosses your panties over his shoulder, his eyes roving over your prone form.
Instead of answering, he licks his lips and dives into your center, drawing a surprised gasp from you as he laps messily at your folds. You hum when he circles your clit with the tip of his tongue, a shiver of pleasure racing through your body.
You’ve never seen him like this before, so rushed, so…frantic. Normally, he takes his time, draws everything out, especially when he’s been away, but it’s different this time. He’s different.
Poe sinks lower, spearing his tongue into your fluttering hole, his nose pressing deliciously against your clit. You moan as he pushes in as deep as he can manage, his tongue sliding along your sensitive walls before slipping back out to tease your entrance. His hands grip you like a vice, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he drinks from you like you’re an oasis in the middle of the desert.
You know something is wrong, but he just feels so good, and he clearly needs this, so you don’t question it, instead letting him have his way with you. It doesn’t take him long to send you over the edge, a scream lodging in your throat as he groans into you, greedily lapping at the release that spills from your pussy.
He pulls away quickly, wasting no time as you come down, your chest heaving, heart beating wildly beneath your breast.
He settles over you again, the slide of his bare skin against yours heavenly. Your brain is still fuzzy with pleasure as he positions himself at your entrance, but you're coherent enough to notice that he isn’t talking, isn’t making eye contact. Usually you can’t get him to shut up, whether it’s about how good you feel or how much he missed you, begging you to look at him as he fucks into you.
“Poe,” you say, reaching for him, hands skimming his strong shoulders, the muscles flexing beneath your touch.
He still won’t look at you, his brow pinched in what you thought was concentration but now realize is something else. He grunt as he begins to push into you, your mouth falling open in a gasp as the length of him drags over one of your sweet spots. He pauses when he’s fully seated, his jaw clenched and you realize…he’s shaking. 
What had he seen out there to make him act this way?
Concern breaks through the haze of lust as you slip your hands up his shoulders and neck, his movements stilling when you take his face in your hands. He pants, wild eyes glued to your neck as you patiently wait for him to gather his thoughts. When he does, you see his desire, yes, but also something unexpected: fear. Pain lances through your chest, eyes welling with tears as you stroke his cheeks with your thumbs. 
It takes him a moment to give in, his eyelids fluttering as he practically melts into your touch. You pull him close, wrapping him in your arms and he happily buries his face in your shoulder, eyes still closed as he inhales your comforting scent. His forearms are braced on either side of your head as you hold him, fingers carding soothingly through his hair.
“Slow down, baby,” you tell him softly, nuzzling your nose against his ear. “You’re safe here, you’re home.”
His hands fist into the sheets at your words, arms pushing in closer to you, as if he’s trying to hug you back. You hold him as long as he needs you to, whispering comforting words, his cock still nestled inside you. When he’s ready, he pulls back to meet your eyes, the look in them guilty, pleading.
“I’m sorry,” he rasps, swallowing thickly as your thumb brushes his cheek once more. “This mission, it…it was rough.”
“I figured as much,” you say softly, nodding in understanding. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
He shakes his head, sighing as his eyes rove your face. “Not yet.”
You smile, nodding again and pulling him into a gentle kiss. “Later then.”
His lips quirk slightly and he nods, leaning in to kiss you again. He still seems slightly desperate, but no longer frantic, kissing you deeply and slowly, his lips and tongue sliding languidly over yours. 
When he starts to move again, it’s unhurried, his hips grinding into yours, his hand reaching down to pull one of your legs around his waist, pushing him even deeper inside until the tip of him bumps your cervix. Your cunt squeezes him and he breaks the kiss with a groan, his eyes glassy as he watches you writhe beneath him.
“So beautiful,” he slurs, sliding his hand up to cup your cheek. 
You moan in response, skin heating a little, both from pleasure and from his words. He moves his thumb over your bottom lip, wordlessly asking you to part them. You do, sucking the digit inside, your tongue lapping at his fingertip. Poe’s movements stutter slightly, his throat bobbing as he watches you, damp curls falling across his forehead.
His pace increases a little and you know he’s close, his body shuddering over you. You reach for him as he pulls his thumb from your mouth, hand coming to rest against the base of your throat as he pushes into you again and again.
“I love you so much, sweetheart,” he pants, breath hitching as you clench around him. “You know that, right?”
You’re so close, so full—of him, of your love for him. You feel like you’re going to burst from it all.
“I know,” you breathe, smiling softly at him. “I love you too, flyboy.”
He leans in to press his forehead to yours, his labored breaths fanning against your lips as he thrusts, the pleasure rising higher and higher.
The hand on your neck clenches slightly and you whine, pussy fluttering around his length as you fall over the edge, pleasure surging through your veins. Poe groans, the sound of it broken, as he follows you a moment later, spilling his warmth deep inside. You’re still pulsing around him as he comes down and he can’t seem to stop the press of his hips, his softening cock pushing his spend even further into you.
He’s still inside when you come down, his gaze intent on your face as he cradles your head in his hands. When you lock eyes, he smiles, thumbs rubbing soothing circles at the base of your skull. You smile back, content to be in his embrace again, to have him be with you, be present. There’s still something there in his eyes, that fear, and you hope he’ll talk to you about it once he’s ready. Until then, you’ll settle for keeping him grounded and in the moment.
If you enjoyed this, please let me know! I appreciate every single reblog and/or comment. Thank you. 💖
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downbadf0rficppl · 2 months
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i didn't mean to love you so much
Poe Dameron x F!Reader
Summary: You don't know what you have until it's gone. Or is it?
Word Count: 6.0K
Repost
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It took 3 days to arrive on D'Qar.
The Naboo N-1 Starfighter that you stole from the junkyard on Bracca was one wrong move away from falling out of the sky. Even with your constant mid-flight repairs, only prayers to the Maker were keeping her together. The BB unit you found kept you posted with constant, and frankly worrying, updates on how the ship was holding. Let's just say the plane was soon to be out of use.
When you entered the atmosphere in D'Qar, the landing gear erupted into flames, eliciting a series of explicit beeps from the BB unit. If not for the life-or-death in front of you, you would have burst into a fit of giggles.
Instead, you just grit your teeth: "Happy beeps, bud."
You and the BB unit left the carnage that used to be a starfighter flaming in the trees, bickering the whole time, and heading towards the Resistance Base. Towards new beginnings. Towards freedom.
Bracca was a junkyard, where scavengers and smugglers looked for parts to sell to the highest bidder. It was dark and dangerous at the best of times, and work was never-ending. It wasn't the kind of place you would want to grow up, but it was better than Kessel. Anything was better than Kessel.
It took a week to get to the Rebel base. Your head throbbed painfully with each passing day, with hardly any food in your system and little water to quench your thirst, the journey to salvation seemed almost unattainable. You had thanked the Maker for rain when it first came, but after 4 days of non-stop rain, you had cursed the skies for it. It only seemed to fall harder.
By day 5, the BB unit was running out of power, its movements slower than before. It was far too heavy for you to carry and without it, you would never reach the Resistance base. There were no sarcastic quips or complaints for its master anymore. No, the two of you traveled in silence, aside from the odd groan from either one of you. Its tiredness mimicked your own. You could only pray that the base would come into view soon. You weren't sure how much longer you would last.
When the planes came into view, you almost cried with joy. With newfound energy, you and the BB unit near-ran the way to the tarmac runway that signaled life on this dratted planet.
And while the BB unit was welcomed with cheers and open arms, you weren't so lucky.
You were marched to the medical bay by two men almost twice your size, flanked on the left and the right so you couldn't run if you tried. Your heartbeat in your throat. Of course, the resistance had to be careful, but surely this was excessive.
After you received treatment for your assortment of cuts and burns, you were delivered to a small room, adorned with only a bed and curtains to block out the light. Before you could say anything, let alone protest, the doors shut, leaving you alone in a small cell deep in the heart of the Resistance base.
As terrifying as the whole situation was, when you laid your head to rest on the bed in the dingy room, sleep came. It beat thorns and nettles on the forest floor of D'Qar. It beat sitting upright for 3 days, trying to avoid meteors and Tie Fighters. It beat restless nights on Bracca, hoping to gather enough for a meal. Sleep came to you better than it ever had before, and you reveled in it.
You woke up to familiar beeping outside the large metal door.
"BB-3?" Your voice came out as a hoarse whisper. The beeping got louder, almost unbearably loud, "Calm down, bud. I don't know how to open the door."
"Step back." A male voice came from behind the door, startling you. You stumbled backward, falling on the floor as the whooshed open. A tall man stood there, and if he were surprised you were on the floor, he didn't show it.
You scrambled to your feet, brushing the dust off your clothes as BB-3 rolled in, circling around you like a vulture would his prey. The man stood there observing you and the droid got reacquainted, before clearing his throat.
"Vice Admiral Holdo would like to speak with you." His tone was authoritative. You didn't want to be on his bad side. He led you toward an office on the opposite side of the building, your legs shaking as you walked. He shot you a pitying glance as BB-3 followed at your heels, before returning his face to its emotionless expression. You hated it.
It must have been early, as only a few people were up, and those who were seemed to want to rather be asleep. But no one batted an eye your way, despite the grime you still felt clinging to your face, and the ripped clothes you were wearing. You wondered if this was normal to them. People coming home grimy, hurt, and disgusting.
Only one man seemed to notice you on your journey.
"Snap!" A voice called out to you. The man in front of you - presumably Snap - broke into a huge grin. "Long time, no see, buddy!" Snap clapped the other man on the back, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
You stood there as the other man regaled the story of whatever mission he'd been on to Snap, and for a moment, you thought you were forgotten.
Until he turned. His eyes seemed to scorch your soul with their searching gaze. It was heavy, but you felt safe under it. Almost as if you knew that he would do nothing to hurt you.
"Heard all about how this one came in yesterday." He stretched out his hand, "Captain Poe Dameron. Pleasure to meet you."
You shook his hand and returned the favour, telling you his name. He tested it on his tongue, repeating a few times. Once he seemed satisfied, Poe turned back to Snap.
"How come you got stuck on babysitting duty?" He asked, mirth dancing in his eyes. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes or butt in - you wanted these people to like you. Sarcasm could be saved for later.
"Kid brought back my droid."
"BB-8 told me the story. Something about running from a resistance fighter, blowing up a depot train," you kick BB-3 gently, "and exploding an N-1. It was impossible. Maybe you should get your droid checked for gossiping?" Snap punched him in the arm, "Hey, it was just a suggestion." Poe grinned widely, "Oh, and the shootout. How could I forget the shootout?"
"It wasn't a shootout." You slapped your hand to your mouth. You hadn't meant to say that out loud. So much for saving the sarcasm for later.
Poe turns to look at you. "Oh?" his grin infuriatingly wide. "That's not what the droid said."
"It wasn't a shootout, we were shot at." Your confidence floods back into you. "And the depot train wasn't us. Wrong place, wrong time. Am I right, bud?" You glare down at the BB-unit.
He mumbles something about ruining a good story before whirring off to stop behind Snap. Stupid BB-unit.
"Guess you're more interesting than I gave you credit for kid." Snap stepped towards you, hand coming to rest on your shoulder. "The name's Temmin, Temmin Wexley. But everyone calls me Snap."
"Pleasure to meet you Snap," you echo Poe's words from earlier.
Your meeting with the Vice Admiral went well. She believed your story, well corroborated by both BB-3 and the bounty on your head placed by a well-meaning neighbour. She cleared you to start training with the resistance, though you surprised both her and Snap when you asked to be a mechanic.
Though when you started working on ships, it was clear to see why. It was almost like there was a secret language that ships spoke that only you seemed to understand. You scoffed at that. Beginner's luck you called it. Still, there was no denying that you loved working on the ships and that you were good at it too.
Months went by and you settled into the routines of the Resistance. You were given a room closer to the other mechanics, who, despite the constant tension of competition, seemed to like you well enough. You often sat with them for meals, although passing up on opportunities to spend more time with them. They seemed content with that. You got used to the early morning wake-up calls when the sun streamed through the window and urgent repairs needed to be made. You learned to enjoy the quiet evenings when everyone else had closed up shop and you could finetune repairs for those who needed it. You finally felt like you had a purpose. It was freeing.
Snap kept you up-to-date on the comings and goings of the First Order - never in much detail of course, but enough to satiate your desire to know more. In return you smuggled him extra jogan fruitcake when it was served while he was away. Sometimes, in thanks for saving your life, you made extra updates and repairs to his X-Wing when he came back from long missions - more often than not to save his those extra hours of tedious work.
Black Squadron had come home after a week long mission the night before. You had worked late into the night the day before, and you were now regretting it. Blue squadron had come into contact with a few Tie Fighters on night patrol, and the damage was hair-pullingly extensive. You were in for a long day. It didn't help that you could barely keep your eyes open, hands glued to a cup of Caf that was doing little for the tiredness clouding your brain. You didn't even notice Snap come storming in.
"WHO WORKED ON MY SHIP LAST NIGHT?" He yelled over all the mechanics. Shit.
You had done some basic repairs for him the evening before last and had spent the better part of last night finishing up repairs and repainting his ship. You knew how pilots were with ship paint. Maker, you were screwed.
After a few moments of silence, you decided it was better to own up than let everyone suffer. "I did, Wexley."
He slowly turned towards you, before grabbing you and pulling you into a bone-crushing hug, lifting your feet off the ground. You were shocked. He was happy - no, elated. The rest of the mechanics, equally as confused as you, turned back to their work, ignoring the scene in front of them.
He still had you gripped tightly when Poe walked in. "Easy tiger, you'll kill the greenie. What did she do to deserve your wrath?"
"My wrath?! No, no, no, Poe. This kid is my new favorite person on base."
"I'll try not to take offense to that," Poe grumbled jokingly, "What did she do to deserve such high praise then?"
"Have you seen my ship? She's beautiful, more beautiful than Jess that one time." He started, about to regale a story, you did not need to know. You elbowed him hard in the ribs.
"My sentiment exactly," Poe said to you, giving you a fist bump before walking over to Snap's X-Wing, closely followed by Snap himself. You trailed behind them, still unsure of what was going on. Poe dragged his finger across the paintwork, "He has a point though. I've never seen Snap's X-Wing look this good." Poe turned towards you, his warm brown eyes sparkling with pride. "Good job, Greenie."
You smiled gently, before turning away. It was high praise from Captain Poe Dameron, flyboy of the resistance.
"Maybe I'll snap her up, you know, give her a real ship to work on?" Poe said, his flirting tone making an odd double entendre that made your face light up in flames.
"Not a chance. Kid, you're my new mechanic. Officially."
"What if I don't want to be?" You countered, your sarcastic tone making both Snap and Poe burst into laughter.
You accepted the role though. There was no world in which you didn't. You enjoyed the perks of being Snap's favored Mechanic - you could sleep in more often, you were privy to more information than the average mechanic. He would tell you if he was to leave the base soon, you were often told just how bad a situation was. Snap trusted you. And if Snap did, so did the others.
'The others' being the other pilots on Black Squadron: Jessika Pava, Karé Kun, L'ulo L'ampar. And of course, Poe Dameron. It was almost like you couldn't escape him. His infectious laugh, his boyish grin, his boisterous personality. His ability to make even the most mundane task into a story for the ages.
No wonder he was so popular.
You began to sit with them in the cantina and you frequently ended up leading the repairs on Black Squadron, no one else being as trusted as you. You opened up to them slowly, telling them about growing up on Kessel and being brought to the Scrapper’s guild on Kessel. You told them the truth about your escape - Poe ended up on the floor laughing, saying “the real story’s so much better, BB-3”. They found out about your impeccable aim after a fun night in the cantina that ended in a tense game of holodarts. They became your family - more of a family you had ever had in your life.
And while, you saw Snap, L’ulo and Karé as your brothers, you could not say the same for Poe. Poe was a flirt, everyone knew that. But as you got closer and closer, it was harder to ignore the way you're heart sped up when he looked at you. How you're palms grew clammy when he smiled in your direction. How his praises and compliments made your knees weak. God you were in love with him.
You knew that half the women on the base had either slept with him or wanted to, and yet not one of them got even a second of his time. None of them except you. Poe would walk you to your room in the evening, and to the cantina in the morning, regaling stories of his adventures before he knew you. He’d bring you caf when you were working late, and sit under the stars with you at the end of a long day. He’d tell you stories of Yavin 4 and his mother. He showed you the ring that hung on the end of his necklace. 
“I want to give it to the one, you know?”
“Don’t get all sentimental on me, Captain.”
He groaned, “Don’t rank me.” You just smiled.
“So, no lucky lady in your life, Dameron?”
“No lucky man in yours, greenie?” 
You scoffed, “If there was ever a chance, they’ve all been scared away by you.”
“Good.”
You laughed it off, but inside your guts twisted at the idea that Poe was happy you were single. Your insides warmed at the idea that he might just feel the same. 
The next morning, you walked out of your room to the sight of Poe sneaking out of the room opposite yours. Half-naked. His eyes widened at the sight of you, and your hand quickly hid your eyes from the view. Your heart dropped. He lied to you. 
Poe sought you out later on in the day. He came up behind you on the landing deck, with a cool glass of jogan juice in hand. You had stripped out of your mechanics jumsuit, the arms tied loosely around your waist. Your tank top was almost a shade darker with the sweat of exertion and ridiculous heat. And yet you declined it, your face barely concealing your childlike annoyance. You knew it was stupid. You and Poe were barely friends, let alone anything that would justify your anger.
“I’m sorry.” Poe huffed, still standing underneath you in the beating sunshine. You were surprised: Poe Dameron never apologises.
“For what?” You said, your back still facing him. He sighed - he didn’t like it when anyone was annoyed at him. Least of all you.
“For this morning.”
“Why does it matter, Poe? You can sleep with who you want to.” You said, anger colouring your voice.
“It matters,” he yells, “because it upset you. Because, for whatever reason, the idea of me sleeping with other people, made you mad at me.”
His obliviousness tugged at your heartstrings, as if to say ‘he doesn’t feel the same’.“I’m not mad that you’re sleeping with other people.”
“Then why are you ignoring me?”
“Because you lied to me, Poe.” You say, dropping down from the ladder, sweat dripping down your back. 
“What are you talking about?”
“You said there was no one special in your life.”
“There isn’t.” You raise a brow, before grabbing the glass of jogan juice from his hand. “Just because we had fun for a night, doesn’t mean I’m getting down on one knee.”
“I think you’ve done it enough times for that to be proven, Poe.”
His cheeky smile returned, “Glad we’re back on first name terms.”
You shook your head at him, “For the record, if I ever catch you sneaking out of a room in my wing again, I’ll skin you myself.”
“If you catch me you say? Well, I like myself a challenge.” You slap him on the head, before climbing back up the ladder.
“Leave me alone, Poe. I don’t need your love troubles plaguing my every hour.”
“There’s no place for things like love in the middle of a war, greenie. First thing you learn in a place like this.”
If he hadn’t been walking away, he would have heard your heart burst into a thousand tiny pieces. Maybe it was for the best if you didn't love him.
Instead of wallowing in undeserving heartache like an idiot, you forced yourself to forget all about the way Poe made your heart feel. He became just another friend, pushed so far into the friendzone that was no conceivable way out. To his credit, you didn’t hear of another escapade of his again. He probably just got good at hiding them.
That always got difficult when he was sent on week-long missions. Your heart would migrate into your throat and even swallowing became difficult. Your mind would swim with worry, all for him to come back completely fine, his ship always seemed to come home the least scathed. A fact for which your heart was grateful.
"Hey, flyboy," you called, as you walked into the cantina. There were less than 10 people in the whole room - probably due to the ungodly hour of the day.
Poe was sat in the corner, the light of his datapad shining on his face. He ran his fingers through his hair. It was unusually disheveled, which could only mean one thing. He was nervous.
You walked up to him. Evidently, he hadn't heard you from across the room, because when you came up to him and rested your hand on his shoulder, he flinched and grabbed your hand. You winced at his tight grip as he turned to face you.
Poe released your hand when he saw it was you. He leaned back into your chest, eyes fluttering shut. "I'm sorry," he whispered, gently.
You grabbed the datapad from his hands, and placed it face down on the table, "It's ok. What's going on?"
"Nothing. Don't worry about it."
You absent-mindedly run your hands through his hair as his head remained leaned against your chest. "It's not nothing. Is it a mission? You're leaving again soon?"
He hummed in agreement.
"You're leaving today, aren't you? That's why you're up early."
"Why do you think Snap got you to wake up early? You're not just a sight for sore eyes, you know."
His words made you blush. Never have you been more glad that he isn't staring right at you - it would give your heart’s deepest darkest desires away. 
He left that afternoon. After you completed routine checks for him, he was off on a top-secret adventure. Sometimes, it was easy to hate his rank, because it made it so hard to find out where he was, or what he was doing. But as always, you let him go and, as always, you prayed he'd come home safe. To you. You always pray he comes home safe to you.
Hours turned to days, days turned to weeks. And while it wasn't unheard of for Poe to be gone this long, your heart could barely take him being gone for a day. That's the price of being in love. You'd never thought of yourself as still being in love with Poe until he left on that mission. You'd never thought much of the way your heart still raced when he talked to you. You'd never thought much of the way your heart still ached when he left for missions. You'd never thought much of the way your heart still burst when he smiled at you. But without him there, it's like your heart could not find a reason for beating. 
You continued on with your job, trudging through daily repairs and meals, trying to keep your mind away from Poe. You forced a smile when you talked to Snap - missing Poe hit him just as hard as it hit you. You forced a smile when you taught new recruits - you couldn't afford to have them hate you just because the Captain was missing. You forced a smile when you came down for dinner - there was no use in moping around in the middle of a war. But when you were in the comfort of your own room, you let the smile fall and the tears drip down your face. You cried almost every night for the first week that he was gone, trying to reconcile your newly found feelings and your newly lost friend.
It was a surprise to everyone when Poe crash-landed back on D'Qar with burns and cuts littering his body. You were up at an extremely early hour as working on Snap's ship when he landed, and you were immediately filled with concern. A tight knot wound its way around your throat, as you watched the scene unfold. BB-8 was nowhere to be seen. The ship is smoking dangerously, and parts of it are falling off, but most worrying of all, Poe was struggling to get out of the cockpit. You quickly threw yourself onto the X-Wing, hitting the emergency ejection latch with the spanner in your hand. The cockpit lid flew open and Poe climbed out, coughing heavily and clutching his side.  Snap came running out of the base, and grabbed Poe's arm. You ran up and grabbed the other, and the two of you dragged him towards the med wing. 
Two nurses snapped him up, cleaning his wounds and applying bacta spray where necessary. Snap turned away, mumbling something about an early morning briefing, but you stayed rooted to the spot. You couldn't take your eyes off his broken state, and tears slipped out of your eyes before you could control them. After a beat, you spun around on your heel and sprinted to your room. 
When the door clanged shut, you slumped onto the floor and burst into tears. You couldn't bear to see Poe in pain. You hated yourself for not being strong enough to fight through your tears to be with him. And you hated yourself for still being in love with him, when you promised you would be. When your datapad lit up with tasks for the day, you made the rash decision to call in sick. In the time you had been on the base, you had never called in sick. This job was your lifeline, your passion, and nothing, not even illness, would affect that. At least, that's what you had thought. You spent the majority of the week in that same spot, tears subsiding when you became so dehydrated that your body refused to let you cry.
On the fifth day of your hibernation, you finally left your room, having showered and gotten ready. Few people were on the base, apart from the mechanics and medics, and the injured - which included Poe. Given the lack of a real threat in the vicinity, General Leia had given the day off. You didn’t want to relax. You couldn’t relax.
You snuck over to where Poe’s beat up X-Wing was parked, and the sight of it almost made you tear up. The memories hit you like a brick. Poe barely limping towards the med wing. BB-8 being carried to the droid repair room. Fire extinguishers coating the X-Wing with hopes that it may be able to fly again. You got to work.
You were finally satisfied as the sun set over the vast treescape of D'Qar, covered head to toe in oil and grease. After some gentle coaxing by Paige - the only one aware of your all-consuming feelings for Poe - you agreed to grab something small to eat with her.
What you didn't sign up for was to see a broken and battered Poe sitting at the table, laughing at some stupid joke that Snap had probably made. He looked up as you walked in, almost as if he was expecting you. His eyes met yours, and you felt the tight knot in your throat begin to form again - just as it had the morning Poe crash-landed on the base.
Poe tried to lift his arm up to wave but winced at the action, the stitches keeping his wounds bound together stretching at the extreme action. You pressed your lips into a tight smile, willing the Maker to take your tears away. Paige handed you a bottle of water, before leading you toward the table. She left you standing in front of the table, where you awkwardly shifted your feet.
"Gonna sit down?" Snap asked, mirth dancing behind his eyes, "Or are you planning to put on a show? Wouldn't put it past you to have hidden another talent."
You smiled weakly, sitting down next to Jess and unscrewing the cap on the water bottle you had been given. Jess leaned over and whispered gently, "Feeling ok? Paige came up to ask if you were ok when you didn't show up at drills this morning."
"Yeah, felt a bit under the weather after morning rounds."
"Probably the shitty sleep you've been getting worrying about this guy." Karé said, pointing his knife at Poe.
Poe looked at you, his eyes wide, but you tried to brush off Karé's words, sarcastically replying, "Oh please Karé, the only thing you're worried about is whether or not they have that drink that you like from Sorgan, which is disgusting by the way - I don't know how you can drink it."
Everyone laughs as Karé splutters about how delicious spotchka is, the anxiousness wracking your body easing its reins slightly. Under the table, you feel Poe's foot nudge yours gently. You smile lightly at him, careful not to let him have a good look at your red-rimmed eyes and splotchy face. As much as it shouldn't matter, you don't want him to know how much you care.
"You don't have to pretend you don't care for the captain, kid. You should have seen how she leaped to open the hatch Poe, something from a Naboo holodrama. Or one of those superhero films." Snap laughed, as your face burned red.
Poe raised his eyebrow, "Now that's something I would like to see. Maybe I'll get myself stuck in a cockpit again, just to see you in action." He laughs, but you don't laugh with him. You feel your chest tighten, and the knot in your throat return. Your vision clouds with tears, and you quickly got up, excusing yourself on the notion that your headache has returned, and that you should probably get some rest before drills the next day. You stumbled out of the cantina, breaking into a sprint as soon as you were out of sight. 
Poe’s eyes followed you as you left, worrying tinting his gaze. The group had fallen almost silent at your abrupt exit, looking at where you’d run, before turning back to Poe. Snap slapped the back of his head.
“Why, in the Maker’s name, would you say that?”
“What?” Poe said, rubbing the back of his head. Jess gave him a pointed look, “What did I say?”
“You joked about getting hurt, Poe! Why would you do that?”
“He didn’t just joke about getting hurt, Wex! He joked about almost dying!”
"Oh please, it's not that big of a deal. Everyone knew it was a joke. Right?" No one looks at him. "Right?!"
Jess waves at Paige, whose eyes were trained at the door. She meekly walks over, leaning down to talk to Jess. 
"Is she ok?" Paige asked, her eyes brushing over the group until they landed on Poe, "What did he do?"
Poe's eyes narrowed in confusion. "I'm so confused," he muttered under his breath.
"He made a joke.”
Snap butt in, “About almost dying."
Paige’s eyes widened, "You're not serious."
"Look, I don't know what's up with her today, but something tells me that that was the last thing she needed right now."
Paige turned towards Poe, "If you weren't injured right now, Captain, I would beat you up." 
"Hold up. I don't even know what I did." He said, standing up. "I get that the joke was a little misplaced, but it was a joke. I didn't put myself in this situation willingly."
"We get it, Poe. But you haven't been here. She's literally been destroyed - she's barely sleeping, I barely see her come down to eat, she spends all her time working on different ships, drowning herself in work. Today was the first day in the year she's been here that she's called in sick." Paige said, her eyes flitting between Poe and the door. She was in a half-mind to run after you, to console you. 
Poe beat her to it. He got up, ignoring the protest from his teammates, and headed towards your room. He knocked lightly on your door, hearing the gentle sobbing from your room.
His heart broke. He knocked again. 
“I’m fine Paige, I just need sleep.”
“Nice to know you’d lie to Paige.” Poe said, his voice steady and gentle. You open the door to you room, the door whooshing up to reveal Poe in all his glory, “Would you lie to your Captain?”
“Don’t pull rank with me, Poe.” You joked as he bent to meet your eyes.
He reached out to caress his fingers against your cheek and wipe away the stray tears. You leaned your head into his hands, the callouses on his hands like comfort against your cheek. He touches his forehead to your eyes, his eyes closed as if he couldn’t quite believe you were here. That this was happening. 
“I’m sorry.” You whispered. Poe’s eyes met yours, softly searching for something. Answers, probably.
“Why are you sorry, darling?” The pet name gripped your heart, so familiar and yet so foreign. The tears begin to flow freely again. He soothed you, mindlessly carding his fingers through your hair, “Don’t cry, don’t cry.” 
You look into his eyes, and can’t help but to sob harder. Why did you have to fall in love with him?
Your head curled into his chest, seeking the comfort only he could give. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He asked, whispering into your hair. 
“I didn’t mean to.” You said through tears. Poe looked at you.
“You didn’t mean to what, love?” He asked. You repeated it over and over, your tears soaking through his shirt. He lets you cry until your weak, pulling you further into his arms. 
He asks you again. 
“I didn’t mean to love you so much.” You confessed through whispers. It was so quiet that you thought that Poe didn’t catch what you said.
His widened eyes told you otherwise. 
“You…?”
“I love you.” You whispered.
“You-you love me?”
“I love you so much that whenever I see you my heart quickens until it’s uncomfortable.”
“Love -”
“I love you so much that my hands become so sweaty that I can barely keep a hold of my datapad.” You showed him your hands that were covered in a sheen. He gives you a watery laugh, before wiping your hands on his already soaked shirt. 
“I love you so much that when you leave, I can’t bear to survive.” 
“Love-” You interrupt him again.
“There’s no life without you, Poe.” Your voice broke as you dissolved into another bout of tears. 
“Love, please.” Poe sighed, kissing your forehead, “Please, just-”
“I know. It’s a war. I shouldn’t have, but I did and I can’t help it. Please don’t hate me, please-”
Poe grabbed your face, pulling you into him. He grazed his lips over yours, before pulling away way to fast. 
“I could never hate you, love.”
You pull him back towards you, smashing your lips onto his. He pulls you into his lap deepening the kiss further. You run your fingers through his hair, and over where the bandages cover his fresh wounds. Poe winced, and you pulled back. 
“You should rest. And heal up.”
He looked at you with such adoration, that for a moment you thought you’d melt away. “I have the rest of forever to heal up. I want this now.”
“You have me for the rest of forever. I think you should heal up now.” He rested his forehead against yours, sighing and closing his eyes. You kissed his nose gently.
“The rest of forever is too far away.” He whispered.
“You made me wait for this long. I think you could wait for a little longer.”
“Only a little bit, love. Only for you.”
He stood up, holding his hand out to you. You grabbed it, and he pulled you to your feet. The sudden motion had you dizzy, head pounding due to the dehydration. He caught you gently, lifting you into his arms, before gently depositing you on the bed. He left light kisses on your forehead, and left with the promise of coming back with water and a little food. 
He walked out of the mechanics wing and back towards the cantina, intent on his mission to get a little food and water into you. 
The whole of black squadron watched him walk in. Poe nodded to them lightly, not knowing exactly what they had been expecting. Apparently it was enough for them, as they turned back towards each other. 
He grabbed a small muffin and a bottle of water, before heading back to your room. He walked into see you asleep on the bed, and he couldn’t help but smile. God, she’s beautiful. 
Poe sat down on the bed, rubbing your arm gently. You opened a bleary eye to see Poe crouched next to you, blocking the moonlight streaming in from the window. He pulled off his shirt, and lifted your head up to get you drink some water, before settling down next to you. You rested your head on his chest before falling back to sleep.
Poe moved under you, pulling his necklace from around his neck and placing it around yours. Your hand immediately migrated to the metal ring strung on the end. Poe froze. What if it’s too soon. He relaxed almost immediately, as your fist closes around his rings.
He relaxed, pushing his nose into your hair. You smiled as he whispered something that he probably only said because he thought you were asleep.
“I love you too."
fin.
buy me a coffee
161 notes · View notes
softlyspector · 2 years
Text
Hard Landings
Summary: Everybody in the kriffin galaxy seems to know you...Except for Poe.
He's not really dealing with that well.
Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader
Word Count: ~12.5k
Warnings: lots and lots and lots of pining, idiots in love, bit of grumpy x sunshine, angst, fluff, the reader is described as having scars, Poe being a literal absolute sweetheart about everything
A/N: My first star wars fic! Please be kind to me I tried my very best! If anything is inaccurate, no it isn’t and you don’t see it. And please, please, please (as always) let me know what you think! And a big thank you to miss @velvetofyourheart I’m glad you got to meet Poe through this fic, hopefully I did his character justice.
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Poe would never admit it to a soul, but he’s a little bit obsessed with you.
The obsession comes on slowly, it creeps in and roots down in his veins before he really has a say in it, before he even meets you.
Maybe obsession isn’t quite the right word.
He has an interest.
A vested interest.
As a commander in the resistance.
Yes, that’s it.
That’s definitely how it starts, at least.
An interest.
Your name is mentioned casually to him one morning in the mess, a name he doesn’t recognize and one that is suddenly everywhere.
Repeated and repeated and repeated.
Until he wants to burst, because who are you and shouldn’t he know and why did everyone else know you and not him?
He hears about you for kriffin weeks.
Black Squadron adores you. You make an impression on Rey and Finn and Rose.
Yet, Poe never sees you.
You’re never around when he is – off doing some other thing, always just out of the room, just moved, just – not around.
It goes on for so long, that he starts to suspect you’re avoiding him. Or, that it’s an elaborate prank that’s went on for far too long and no one knows how to tell him the truth.
That you simply do not exist.
He starts to suspect you aren’t real.
He knows everyone on the base, can pick out most people by name and face and has talked to all of them at least once, in passing, in the mess, in debriefings. 
Not you.
You are a faceless mechanic that came from nowhere, that has charmed people quietly and quickly, that has a supposedly famed and wicked aim (if he has to hear about how you only hit the bullseye on the holodarts board at the cantina again he’ll lose his mind – really). 
The holodarts thing only bothers him a little – mostly because Poe has never seen you at the kriffin cantina. 
People whisper that you’re kind, that you’re quiet, that you’re stubborn, and that you’re hiding something. 
Even BB-8 knows you. The droid that almost never leaves his side, somehow knows exactly who you are.
Poe has no idea what world you come from, what led you to the resistance. He supposes it doesn’t really matter, and the fact you hadn’t offered that particular bit of information to anyone not unsurprising, considering that the things that led people to the resistance were usually traumatizing.
Poe is intrigued by you.
He has no good reason to be, really.
And at the end of the day, you are just one of the many mechanics. You’re just one of the many people that live and work on D’Qar, that’s a part of something bigger than yourself. 
But Poe? He’s never really been good at letting things go, letting it lie. He’s stubborn, he knows that, and usually he can work that to his advantage.
Not this time though. This time he feels like he can’t do anything but dig his heels in.
Poe isn’t used to being…left out. He isn’t used to feeling left out, like someone just doesn’t want him around.
He’s…well, the poster boy, the golden child, Leia’s favorite – the leader everyone looked too when things got tough.
Poe hits his breaking point when Rose mentions that you were at the cantina the night before. 
Again. 
And that he didn’t see you. 
Again. 
“What? What do you mean? I was there the whole night! And I never – ,”
“Left right before you got there,” Rose shrugs, looking to Finn for backup. “You got there later than the rest of us – the debriefing with Leia?”
Finn nods, glancing from Rose to him and back again, lifting a brow at Poe’s slightly distressed tone. “Yep. It went late, remember?”
Poe sits with that for a moment, scratching a hand over his jaw, nodding slowly. “Why doesn’t this person want to meet me?”
Finn and Rose share another concerned look. “I don’t think it’s on purpose, Poe – ,”
But Poe decides that’s enough. “Right,” he says, standing, making an effort to clear the irritation from his voice. “I’ll go introduce myself now.”
Before anyone can stop him, before he can think it through and stop himself, he’s striding away, through well-known halls and familiar corridors, BB-8 trailing along at his heels whirring and beeping as he goes.  
“I know, buddy,” he says, glancing down at the little droid. “I know it’s not on purpose.”
But it kind of feels like it’s on purpose – like you know something about him or heard something about him that makes you stay away, that makes you avoid him. Something that either isn’t right, or he needs to correct.
You aren’t avoiding him, right?
You don’t even know him.
Why are you avoiding him?
His stomach twists, because there’s always the possibility you know him from his spice runner days. “Can you lead me, Beebee?”
Really, he should have done this weeks ago. It was his responsibility to be familiar with the other pilots and mechanics.
BB-8 rolls ahead of him with a whirr, leading him toward the one of the hangars.
Another series of beeps.
Uneasy. Cautious.
Poe frowns, stepping quickly behind the droid, to the entrance to the hangar. The smell of fuel and oil and something slightly charred greets him like an old friend. It’s a smell that’s as close to home as Poe feels he’ll ever get these days.
It’s a smell that’s like flying and falling, like stars and sky, and hope.
Most people are in the mess for dinner at this time and so the usually chaotic hangar is quiet, only a couple of people lingering, quickly finishing up whatever they were working on to get to dinner too.
BB-8 races around a banked ship, Poe following closely when he pulls up short.
He watches BB-8 cross the duracrete to you and knock into your ankle.
Poe has definitely never seen you before.
He would remember someone like you.
You smile, immediately stooping down to run a hand over BB-8’s side. You have a wrench in your hand, a smear of grease on your forehead. You’re working on his x-wing. Poe does a lot of the maintenance himself, but not all of it, not these days, not with the responsibilities that weigh on him.
He can’t figure out how to put one foot in front of the other suddenly, struck a little bit dumb from where he watches you attempt to communicate with his droid. It’s obvious that you don’t understand binary, but that you’re trying to interpret his beeps to the best of your ability anyway.
You frown, furrowing your brow, mouthing something under your breath. The movement of your mouth pulls at a scar that spiderwebs over your jaw and a portion of your cheek.
Kriffin hell.
He hadn’t expected you to be so pretty. He hadn’t expected you somehow. Even from where he stands, he can see the long flutter of your lashes against your cheek, the curve of your bottom lip, the delicate knob of bone in your wrist.
You touch the droid’s domed head softly, your voice finally carrying over to him, “– sorry, honey, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
With a series of exasperated beeps, BB-8 rolls away from you, back toward Poe.
You glance up, your gaze like mourning flowers, like the sharp points of rocks at the bottom of a whirlpool, like raw burning grief. Something about you is overwhelming, something about your gaze is like tumbling through open space, like free falling in a star shower.
For a moment, he thinks you won’t spot him, but then your eyes snap to his and those fathomless, unknowable depths soften just a bit.
You lift a hand in greeting, still crouched on the floor, the corners of your lips lifting in a smile.
Beep. 
He looks down at his meddling droid.
Another sassy beep.
Go. Over.
But he can’t get his feet to carry him over to you.
So, Poe just waves, smiles back at you. He feels dopey and stupid. Black Leader, Commander Dameron, afraid to approach one of the kriffin mechanics. 
You lift a brow, dusting off the knees of your trousers as you stand.  
“Sorry for bothering you! Don’t know what’s gotten into him!” He settles on calling over to you, pointing down at BB-8 like it was his fault, like Poe didn’t ask him to lead him to you (the droid gives an indignant little whirr at the implication), before he turns on his heel and marches away, like he has somewhere important to be.
Poe Dameron is not a coward, but what he sees in the depths of your eyes scares some part of him he didn’t know existed.
Well, at least he knows you’re real.
And he now, now, he can say he’s obsessed.
Because Poe’s never backed away from something that scared him. 
~
A crash sounds to your left, makes you jump, your bad ear ringing. 
You glance up and around just in time to see your toolbox slipping to the floor in a cascade of metal. The only thing you can do is watch as your carefully organized madness spins across the floor, the noise catching the attention of a few passersby. Despite the usual chaos and noisiness of the hangar – it still attracts attention.  
A final wrench pings to the floor and you trace the orange flight-suited legs behind the new mess up, until you meet the eyes of Poe Dameron.
He’s cringing, his face contorted into a pained expression before it eases into the relaxed smile he usually sports.
Maker, he’s beautiful.
He’s unfairly attractive actually – soft dark brown curls with eyes to match, a kind of warmth behind his gaze that couldn’t be faked.
You lift a brow when he stoops down to sweep your tools back into the box, haphazardly piling anything that would fit back into the box.
The carefully organized compartments are all but ruined, it’ll take days to sort them right again. “Sorry about that,” he says, righting the box on a stool as his ever-present droid beeps at him, a little orange and white BB unit that most people adore.
Including you. 
You’re more familiar with the droid than you are with his owner.
BB-8 had a strange habit of periodically checking in with you. 
Still, you’re surprised to find Dameron in front of you at all. That day he stared at you from across the hangar is burned into the back of your mind, the way he’d looked at you like he was seeing a ghost. 
Or something worse. 
He couldn’t wait to be out of the same room as you.
Everyone who mentioned him had nothing but kind things to say, even when they were criticizing him - a little hardheaded, a little reckless. But a good leader, a good man. 
You resist the urge to reach a hand up and cover the scars that stretch across your jaw and cheek, anxiety beating through your chest. 
“It’s okay,” you answer, only a little bit of carefully controlled despair dripping through your veins, despair at your things being knocked about, despair at having been so swiftly judged by someone so supposedly kind. 
His presence is a reminder of that day, that odd little lie he told, the rejection you’d done nothing to earn but lift a hand in greeting. 
You had precious little, your things were your touchstone when everything else disappeared, when you no longer felt safe, or like yourself. Some of those tools had been with you since –
You force yourself to take a breath. 
They’re just things, you remind yourself, things that could be rearranged and replaced. 
The droid whirs and beeps again, sounding a bit irritated.
“Right,” Poe stands and sends you another overly charming smile, like he’s trying to make up for something other than your upset tools. “Beebee is right. That was a bad apology. I’m sorry for startling you and I’m really sorry about knocking over your things. I can help you reorganize them, if you want,” he offers, sheepishly rubbing a hand against the back of his neck. 
You blink at Poe, a little bewildered at his offer, more than a little baffled by his sudden presence.
Maybe you’d caught him at a bad time that day, maybe he’d really been rushing somewhere.
The droid swivels to look up at you, chirping excitedly, apparently now satisfied you’d been properly apologized to. You can’t help but smile and crouch down, reaching out to pat BB-8 who happily rolls forward into your hand like he always does. “Does your droid always scold you?”
“Only sometimes,” Poe says, smiling again, the crinkles by his eyes pulling at his cheeks. You’ve never seen anyone smile like that before, with their whole face, like they were putting effort into it.
If it were anyone else, you might still be a little bit irritated, but Poe’s inflection is one of total earnestness.
That, and you can already tell he’s the kind of person that it’s impossible to stay angry with.
It only helps him a little that he’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever laid eyes on. His energy is infectious, too, and you suspect that even if he wasn’t a pretty boy, he’d still be able to charm whoever he talked to, that he’d still sound like sunshine radiated right out of his veins.
You both glance at the messily assorted tools. “Don’t worry about it,” you say, some tension rolling out of your shoulders. “They needed to be sorted out again anyways. No harm done,” you say, partially to reassure yourself. “Is there a reason you’re here knocking over my things?”
Why are you suddenly talking to me now? Your real question goes unspoken.
Poe scrubs a hand through his hair, curls artfully threading around his fingers, messy but like it was supposed to be that way. “Well, word around base is that you can fix pretty much anything.”
You frown at him, cocking an eyebrow up.  
Were people saying that? It’s verifiably untrue. There are plenty better mechanics than you. You preferred tinkering with more delicate things anyway, smaller machinery than the ships that surround you. 
“I can certainly try,” you answer cautiously, still patting BB-8. “But I gotta ask – who told you that? I think I’m a pretty average mechanic.”
You don’t know much about Poe Dameron, besides the popular, regular gossip about him.
He’s hotheaded, he’s reckless, he’s a great leader, he’s the best pilot in the whole kriffin galaxy, he’s the poster boy of the resistance, he’s kind, he’s a flirt, he’s –
He’s staring at you guiltily, like he’s been caught doing something bad, and you have a feeling that his sudden interest has something to do with the day he avoided you.
It’s a miracle you hadn’t seen him before that day, especially considering how much you interacted with Jessika and Snap and Finn and so many others. Because Poe knows everyone, is friends with damn near everyone.
But you haven’t really had cause to speak with him yourself before he so boldly strode over and knocked your tools to the floor, before he stared at you from across the room and sent little bolts of panic racing around your veins.
It had been hard not to notice Poe, to wonder about him, even if you didn’t interact with him yourself.
“Finn and Rose. Rey too. Which, if Rey is saying that you can fix anything…well, I thought she was the one that could fix anything.”
You tilt your head and straighten, BB-8 rolling back to Poe’s side as you do. “What is it that you need help with exactly?”
Poe stares at you for a long moment, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes before he recovers himself and reaches out a hand. “Poe Dameron, by the way, I don’t think we’ve been introduced.”
You don’t take his hand, nodding back at him, locking your fingers tightly together behind your back. “No. You were in such a hurry the other day,” you say, watching as Poe winces, testing your theory of guilt. “But everyone seems to know you around here,” you let him off the hook a bit and tell him your own name, though he clearly already knows it.
He lowers his hand, doesn’t make a big deal about you not taking it.
Which you appreciate.
“Everyone knows you, too,” he says. “Except for me.”
“I really doubt that.”
“No, really!” He exclaims. “All of Black Squadron – all they talk about is you. Kriffin hell, if I have to hear one more time how you’ve never miss the bullseye in holodarts...” he trails off, shaking his head. 
You blink, just a bit surprised. Though you see all of the pilots quite a lot, you didn’t think they talked about you, thought about you outside of your brief conversations with them, your very occasional outings to the cantina. 
“Maybe that’s just because I keep them from falling out of the sky,” you say to Poe before you can really think your words through.  
Poe laughs, and it’s a nice sound, even if it startles you just a little.
Maker, how did anyone bare being around him for more than a few minutes? When he looks the way he does and smiles like that and laughs like that?
Poe is the kind of person who burns, scorches the world around him. His energy is like an exploding star and you can already feel yourself getting sucked into his orbit. 
He nods you in the direction of his x-wing which you’re more than familiar with. You frown as you approach. “Something happen in flight? It was fine before.”
There had only been drill flights earlier so you can’t imagine something drastic could have happened to it. 
Poe maneuvers behind you, brushing a friendly hand across your shoulders as he passes you. You stiffen and the hand is retracted, but he doesn’t call attention to it, just works at removing an external panel of the ship while you stand by, arms crossed over your chest as you watch.
He lifts the panel, chattering on at you about some of the wiring.
You frown and watch him, the flutter of his lashes, the movement of his throat, the bit of warm brown skin that peeps through the open collar of his flight suit.
The problem he claims to be having with the wiring is so simple a child could have fixed it. You narrow your eyes and watch Poe Dameron lie straight to your face about not knowing how to fix it, about not even knowing what was wrong in the first place.
Stars, he’s a bad liar.
But when he turns to you with those wide, brown eyes, you don’t have the heart to call him on it.
Though you have to wonder why.
Why pretend?
Why pretend not to know what the problem is? How to fix it?
Just to speak with you? Surely not. 
You glance down at BB-8 who stares up at you, like he knows what’s going on too and is begging you not to mention how stupid it all is.
A laugh bubbles to the back of your throat, one that you have to bite your lip to avoid leaving you.
Poe feels guilty about the other day, you would guess, and this is his in to talking to you, making it up.
Like he couldn’t have just approached you under the guise of introducing himself.
Its profoundly circuitous and you find yourself warming to him because of it.
So, you just reach out, point out to problem with the wiring. “There’s your issue. Here – ,” you step forward and make quick work of righting the issue, holding back a grin as you do.
This is certainly not something you expected from Poe, he seemed like a more direct person to you.
Like the day he’d marched into the hangar, clearly with the intention to talk to you, only to back away and lie.
Maker, he does feel guilty.
He’s smiling at you again, watching you with rapt attention.
BB-8 rolls slow circles around the pair of you, engulfing you in your own personal bubble with Dameron.
“So, are you heading to the mess now? For dinner?”
You tilt your head, “Sure, Poe.”
“Wanna eat together?” He’s not looking at you, there’s a tracery of pink on his neck, creeping up his throat. He knows he’s been caught.
“I promise I won’t tell Rey,” You say, just to watch him blink over at you in surprise, just to watch the pink spread and turn red. “That you would think she can’t fix something like this.”
He laughs, the sound loud and unrestrained. “Thanks. Guess I should have made up a real problem.”
“Should have,” you chirp. “Something really complicated. Next time, rip out this,” you suggest, pointing to a panel. “That’s a real problem. No steering.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he’s grinning like a fool at you.
Famous charm, famous flirt.
You shake yourself, wonder at how quickly you were sucked in by him.
You clamp that feeling in place, ice it off, seal it away. You won’t, can’t, get attached to anyone. And you don’t like the feelings bubbling up in you. “Glad we finally got to talk, Commander Dameron. I don’t think I’ll be able to join you at dinner.”
Before he can ask, you walk away.
But you feel that burning gaze, the weight of his eyes on you, until you turn a corner out of his sight.
~
Poe tries to right his wrong.
Of course, it backfires. Of course, he decides to do it in the stupidest way possible.
Beebee doesn’t let him forget it. 
He’s still a little bit afraid of you and the things that lie in your eyes, but that only fuels his interest, his obsession. 
But approaching you after that first encounter – casually – seemed like a bad idea. He didn’t want to mention how he’d basically fled the room – Maker, he can only imagine what you think of him because of that.
Having a reason to approach you, like needing help with something, seemed so much better.
“So, you’re going to lie to her?” Rose had asked him. “Why? Just introduce yourself, Poe. I thought you did that when you marched off the other day.” She’d seemed disgruntled. “It’s not even a good lie!”
And Poe was notoriously bad at lying.
Still, he hadn’t been able to regret it as he watched you replace the couple of tangled wires he’d hastily tugged out of their respective panels. Not when you were so close to him, not when you smelled like engine fuel and something distinctly earthy, not when he could see the swoop of your lashes against your cheek and the webbed scar that extended down your neck into the collar of your shirt.
The way you hold yourself, upright and proud, but guarded, makes him want to peel back the layers of who you are.
So even if the excuse is stupid, even if he pulled those wires out himself, he’s glad he did it.
Even if you turned down his offer to eat together, it gives him an opening into your life.
Whenever he has time, which isn’t much, he makes a point to seek you out.
Anytime he sees you in the mess, he makes a point of sitting beside you and talking to you, even if it’s just to watch you grumble about how close he is.
He notices that you don’t like to be touched, that you seize up like you’ve been electrocuted. You try not to tell him things, but some things slip out, some things are just hard not to notice about you.
You’re afraid of flying, your home world was warm year-round and you don’t like feeling even a little bit chilly. You like those blasted holodramas that Poe thought no one in the galaxy actually watched, you read maintenance manuals in your spare time. The tools you use have undue importance to you, he catches you cataloguing a couple of them more than once, just to check they were still there. He notices that your hearing isn’t as good on your left side, that you’re more easy to startle if he approaches from that way, and so he always goes to your right.
Poe brings you cups of caf until he realizes you don’t really like how bitter it is, your face screwing up with the bold flavor of it. So, he starts bringing you something sweet instead, something warm. It makes him happy because he likes sweet things too, he always found the caf too bitter too.
He hunts down a jacket for you, one of the ones with fur on the inside and leaves it on your workbench.
He has a feeling that if he gave it to you in person, you’d never wear it.
Poe isn’t sure why you’re so closed off, especially with him, but eventually you stop frowning when he appears, you smile and greet him and ask him how his day has been.
Poe doesn’t think you realize it, but one day, one of the days when he’s lost people and things feel hopeless and he still smells like kriffin fuel after washing for so long his skin feels raw, you pass your cup back to him – filled with that something sweet.
It’s still warm, and he likes to think maybe he can taste the shape of you on the rim of the cup.
“I heard what happened,” you say. “I was waiting for you.” You don’t offer any platitudes, and he’s glad for it. It just makes it sting worse, when people say things like – I’m sorry and It’s not your fault.
It’ll always be kind of his fault.
That’s just who he is, what he does.
But you don’t seem to realize what you’ve admitted. That you wait for him, think about him while he’s gone.
And before Poe can think about that too much, you’re passing something else to him. “They had them in the mess while you were away. Saved some for you.”
You press a koyo fruit into his hand, your skin carefully not touching his.
You smile and take the cup from him, sipping from the same place his lips had just touched.
Instead of saying thank you, like he should, like he wants to, he asks for something else from you. Some deeper part of who you are. He slides his thumb across the skin of the fruit, reminded of home. His throat is tight with gratitude when he asks, “Why don’t you like to fly?”
You blink long at him, fingers tightening on the cup until he worries you’ll hurt your hand.
He waits, is about to tell you that you don’t have to say it, not ever, but you nod, and loosen your grip on the cup. Instead of speaking, you gesture to the scars that disappear into the collar of your shirt.
Poe just nods.
“What about before?” He asks, probably against his better judgement. “Before that?”
“Nothing better than being in the stars,” you answer easily, gaze distant. “Maker, I loved flying.”
He can’t help the grin that pulls over his face.
~
Poe Dameron easily becomes a menace in your life.
A nuisance some could say.
He starts appearing in your life, in your carefully created little bubble, anytime he can.
Really, he’s got no good reason to.
Still.
He starts finding reasons to be in your presence.
Poe becomes your problem, and your solution.
True to his word, even when you tell him he doesn’t have to, he helps you reorganize your tools.
He sits with you at your workbench any free moment he has, brings you cups of caf and then replaces it with a sweet drink you can’t name, makes probing small talk, tells you about his home world.
You learn a lot about Poe, about his life. He talks about flying a lot – a romantic edge in his voice that doesn’t fit with being a pilot in a war. You let yourself imagine Poe as a different kind of pilot, the kind that could just go, be, explore.
But you can’t figure out why he tells you these things, you offer hardly anything in return. He shouldn’t be interested in you, he should have given up on you a long time ago, he should have gotten bored of you a long time ago.
You don’t tell him how your home world was destroyed, you don’t explain your fear of flying even if you do let that information slip out.
Poe’s eyes go round when you tell him that, like he can’t imagine it, being afraid of something he lived for, loved more than anything.
He doesn’t ask why in that moment, though he does eventually.
And when he does, you tell him.
You tell him, and he accepts it for what it is.
A sneaky little, “You should let me show you how to love it again,” slipped in before he left you that night, koyo fruit in hand.
You do not want to know Poe Dameron. You don’t want to care about him. You don’t want to care about any of these people. Caring about people just complicated things, just made everything worse, when something inevitably took them from you.
And you’re starting to rely on Dameron, you’re starting to care about him. Really care about him and weather he made it back in that banged up ship of his.
You never meant to make an impression on them, never meant to make them think about you more than they should. Never, you never should have gone to the cantina with Black Squadron when Jessika Pava invited you. And you certainly shouldn’t have gotten sucked into a game of holodarts – something which apparently lived in everyone’s memory just because you happened to be a good shot.
Dameron is the worst of all – always around, always smiling, always cracking jokes. He’s also the one who leaves the most, who comes back to D’Qar singed and beaten and who takes far too many risks.
He makes you nervous, not just because of the way he flies – like nothing can touch him, like he’ll always make it out alive – but also because of his penchant for digging himself into your skin, burrowing himself inside you and becoming a part of your life, your routine.
You want to hate him so badly.
You want to stop caring about him, but Dameron is determined to be in your life, he’s determined to assault you with daily kindnesses.
And so, you start to care about him, to like him, to wonder about him and find your thoughts occupied with the ways you could make him smile on the days where he can’t.
The world always feels like its ending. The war feels never ending. Something life altering is always happening, always just around the corner.
You hate it.
Poe is talking to you now, rattling on about something or the other, and you can’t focus because it’s hard to breathe – it’s hard to breathe when you have to stand by and watch him climb into the x-wing you take meticulous care of, and stick that stupid helmet over his head.
“I’ll be okay, you know,” he says, grinning down at you. “You don’t have to worry so much.”
Maker, let that be true, you think.
Instead, with acid on your tongue, you say, “I’m not worried about you, Poe.”
“I’ll come find you when I’m back.”
Like you wouldn’t be waiting anxiously the entire time, like you wouldn’t go sit out on one of the bluffs hidden by the trees and stare up at the stars, imagining you might be able to see his ship if you looked hard enough. 
“You don’t have to do that. I probably won’t even notice you’re gone. It’s not like I send all my time thinking about you.”
Poe laughs at your tartness, “Okay. I’ll be thinking about you though, so I’ll still come find you.”
You roll your eyes, annoyed that it makes you happy. “Bye, Beebee, stay safe,” you say to his droid instead of him, walking away before Poe can say anything else, the noise and commotion of the hangar too loud for you to hear anything else anyways.
Despite your best intentions, you think about Poe while he’s gone. You save some of those blasted koyo fruits from the mess because he always acts like he’ll die when he misses out on them. They’re native to his Yavin IV and remind him of home even if he doesn’t say it. His mother had planted a koyo tree when he was a child, and they grew in their yard.
You’re always one of the first to know when he’s back. People make sure to tell you, even when you don’t ask.
You never touch Poe, but you sit close to him when he gets back, and give him those stupid fruits, and share a cup. He still smells like fuel, but you don’t mind, because its Poe, because he’s alive.
And you admit to him that night that you were waiting, that you always wait for him, if only to see him smile.
He makes you feel like an idiot, he makes you feel uncertain, because he is so very certain.
Despite it all, Dameron is there, and if he can’t be, his droid is.
He invites you to dinner whenever he can, and once you go, just to watch him beam like sunshine, just to watch him hold court, make everyone in the mess his best friends for an hour.
Hope, Poe had a way of inspiring hope, of making people laugh when things got tough, of making them believe in something better.
You grow a little bit attached to him, find yourself waiting for him from time to time, even when he’s not away, before you catch yourself and feel that ice around your heart shiver and spiderweb and crack.
Maybe you should stay away from him, but you can’t – not when the sun of him feels so nice, is melting the ice.
Not when he looks at you with eyes softened by something unknown, something you don’t want to see or recognize. 
Because you can’t have the inside of you exposed to the light again.
But you can’t quite bring yourself to make him stop either.
~
“Here.”
You glance up, squinting into the low light. “Poe,” you say, not at all surprised. “What an unexpected pleasure.”
He rolls his eyes, smiling. “Just take it will you?”
You grin back, flip your magnifying glasses above your forehead and peel off your gloves before taking the cup Poe is offering you.
“Do you ever stop?”
“Do you?” You counter easily, sipping at the sweet drink as Poe sits on the spare chair across from you at the workbench.
He shakes his head, “Guess not. Hard for me to sit still. There’s always something else to do.”
You nod, yanking the glasses off your head and tossing them onto the bench. You haven’t seen him in a while, you want his attention. “It’s late,” you comment, trying to hide a yawn.
“I know.”
There are purple circles beneath his eyes, creases at the edge of his cheek, like he’d accidentally fallen asleep on something.
“Why don’t you go get some sleep then, Poe?” You ask gently.
He shakes his head, leaning back in his chair, closing his eyes. “When I haven’t seen you in weeks? Never.” 
You snort. “What, you need me to put you to bed or something?” 
“I wouldn’t say no to that,” he hedges. 
“Of course you wouldn’t.” 
He peeks one eye open at you, “Is it so surprising that I like being around you?” 
You look away, fidget with your fingers, the edge of your jacket. A jacket you know is a gift from Poe. “A little bit. It’s hard to imagine why.”
For a moment, you don’t consider continuing, you don’t even think of it, because there’s nothing more to say. It really is hard to believe. Why should he? When you give so little of yourself in return? When Poe burns brighter than the sun and you are but a faded star?
But before you can think of something to say, of the words to describe how you feel, before you can get your next words out, Poe leans forward, right into your space, the smell of him, the scent of clean soap, the fresh smell of the shampoo he used, the cologne he put on, invading every part of you, diving down into your veins, like sunshine on ice. “I like you,” he says softly. “That’s why.”
His gaze is warm and open. Big brown eyes staring at you from beneath thick lashes.
You blink at him, “I like you too, Poe.”
And you do, you like him too much, maybe to your own detriment. 
But you don’t say it the way he does, with teeth and grit and meaning. You say it like you don’t understand what he means, what his constant presence means, what his patience with you and you only means, what the jacket left on your workbench means, what the cups of something sweet, and always approaching you from the right side means.
Poe likes you. And he wants you to know it.
Poe doesn’t smile at you, just watches you for a moment. “You don’t get it do you? What do I have to do to make you get it?”
“Poe…” You trail off, not sure what to say to him. “I don’t understand why.”
“Does it matter why?” He sounds a little bit offended. “Why is it such a surprise anyway? I’m not…I don’t really know how to be subtle,” he offers. “I’m telling you. I like you.”
You bite your lip, worry at the hem of your shirt. 
But there are things he doesn’t know, and there are things you aren’t sure you can give. 
And because he could have pretty much anyone he wanted and yet he wasted his time here with you. Because the world is always ending, and you can’t lose everything again.
And Poe, he’s sort of becoming everything to you.
Instead of answering, you drain the rest of the drink, flick out your light, and switch off your datapad. “You need sleep, Dameron,” you say. “It’s making you delusional.”
Poe stands, following along after you without complaint, rounding a corner into an empty corridor.
“So, it doesn’t matter why?” he chirps, smilingly upbeat again, like you didn’t just reject him without explanation.
You roll your eyes, following a well-known path to his quarters. “Of course, it matters.”
“It shouldn’t. You could just accept it.”
You reach his door, automatically punching in the code, stepping back to wave him in ahead of you. “Poe,” you stop him, standing very close to him in the low light of his room. You can see every lash against his cheek, the bruise darkening along his brow. “It’s better this way.”
“I don’t think it is,” he says, obstinate about it.  
You sigh, exasperated, opening your mouth to respond when he cuts you off. “No. You’re wrong about this. It’s not better this way.”
“Poe,” you say again, growing frustrated. “You don’t know anything about me. I give you nothing in return for all you do. You should hate me. I can’t even touch you. I can’t even look at you when you leave. I can’t even say goodbye.”
You stop, press your hands across your chest, ribs aching with the pressure you exert. You wait for him to get it, but Poe just says your name, so quietly and sweetly it makes you want to crumble. “Baby,” he coos, and you know he’s thinking about reaching out to you, about how much easier it would be if you were an easier person. Your throat goes tight with the sound of that pet name on Poe’s lips, directed at you. “Baby,” he repeats, palms open, eyes like little galaxies of their own. His lips twitch up into a gentle grin, “I know you. You’re easy to know.”
And Poe repeats the things he knows about you. That you like it warm and come from a warm world. That you don’t like bitter things. That you’re meticulous with your tools and work, that you preferred to be alone when you worked but you like to have company when you eat. That you’re easily annoyed by loud noises and that your left ear is sensitive. That you pretended to think the koyo fruits were too sweet but that you now look forward to them just as much as Poe does.
“You tell me things. You just don’t realize it. I like who you are.” Poe steps away from you, toward his bed, slumping down to yank off his boots.
The circles under his eyes are in sharp contrast with his skin in the low lighting of his quarters. You stand there, not sure what to say, not sure if you want to say anything. Not really sure how to say anything.
“Poe,” you say softly, his name on your lips making him pause, glancing up at you with eyes that are such a rich warm brown, you’d gladly lie there forever, gladly lie in that shade and sleep. “Thank you.”
His brow softens, that little pinch smoothing out, and he holds out a hand to you.
You hesitate, not sure the contact won’t kill you, won’t end everything you know.
“C’mon, you’re tired too. Stay with me,” he lays back, scoots as far away as he can. He doesn’t say it, but you hear it anyways. I won’t touch you.
You pull your feet out of your shoes and kick them away, and you lie down beside Poe as he flicks out the light. He turns to you in the dark, the shine of his eyes the only thing visible to you before your eyes adjust and his features come slowly into focus.
He’s beautiful, unreal in his beauty.
Poe smiles. “Are you going to stay?”
“Sure, Poe.”
“Good.” His eyes flutter shut and you have to tangle your fingers together to resist the urge to reach out and touch his cheek, to trace the arch of bone.
You shut your eyes instead, and listen to Poe’s quick breathing, the shift of him on the bed, still fully clothed and above the blanket.
You tilt closer, wriggle closer.
You want to press your nose into his shoulder, into his bicep, you want to dig your teeth into him, to consume him.
Because he’s just so…Poe.
He’s everything you don’t really deserve.
The scent of him overwhelms you – forest pine and rainwater, the lingering smell of fuel that you’re starting to become addicted to.
Just before you fall asleep, you press your nose into his shoulder, you feel the briefly light touch of his hand against your cheek. The feather light touch is immediately retracted, jerked away, a reprimand unto itself.
But you wish it would linger.
~
You don’t make things easy on him after that night, like you regret falling asleep so close to him.
He should have known better than to fall asleep too, he was a clingy sleeper, and he hated the panic in your eyes at finding his skin against yours when you woke.
There had been a moment, between waking and realizing, where Poe had been blissfully happy. It had been a long time since he woke up touching someone else and he was loathe to let that feeling slip away, it was only a bonus that this person smelled just like you.  
But then he’d opened his eyes and found you really there, a look in your eyes like you were deciding whether to push him away or pull him closer.
Instead, you mumbled an apology and stumbled out of bed, out of the room.
There are some days after that when Poe just can’t find you, no matter where he checks, no matter what he does.
He thinks about the way your hands sometimes shake, about the times where you look like you haven’t slept in days and days and days, the scar that trails over your jaw, the circles under your eyes, the haggard, drowning look in your gaze. Like something is tormenting you. 
He wonders sometimes if he should just let you be, he wonders if he is the thing that’s tormenting you.
Your eyes haunt him, the look in them still scares him. 
But he doesn’t want to look away, he doesn’t want to give up on you, not for anything. Poe doesn’t give up, doesn’t look away from things that are difficult. And you always come around eventually, looking for him but pretending that you aren’t, quietly sitting down beside him or waving to him from across a crowded room.
There are times that things keep him away – he’s off planet, he’s on a mission, he’s participating in kriffin diplomacy. He misses you like a part of himself has been lost. 
And ever since you came around, he can’t focus on anything else, can’t think about anyone else. 
No one else can warm his bed, not even for a night.
He doesn’t consider anything more with anyone else because –
Well, because they don’t bring him koyo fruits and sit out and stare at the stars when he’s away and tells BB-8 goodbye and not him because it’s too painful, it’s too close to losing too much.
He wishes you would just let him in. 
~
“You’re going,” Poe says, standing with his arms crossed at the threshold of the mess. He’s vaguely sweaty, a black mark across his forehead and down his cheek, a frayed kind of burned smell emanating from him.
Half the buttons on his shirt are undone and you want to hate him for it. You hate that expanse of skin, the ever present chain around his neck poking out. Another piece of himself he’d given you, why he wore the necklace. That his mother’s ring is looped on the end. Poe had let you see it, let you fist your hand around it, trace the edge of the ring.
He’s back from a mission, something, you don’t know.
Your brain goes all fuzzy, blanks out the specifics of what goes on with the actual flying in the sky part of things. You don’t like to think about it, don’t like to know the details of what he does, what any of the kriffin pilots do. 
Maker, to be afraid of flying in a place like this was like being a bird with its wings clipped, defenseless and easy to be left behind.
You wrinkle your nose and turn away from him. “Not sure what you’re talking about, Dameron.”
Poe strides forward and takes the seat across from you. “Cantina. Tonight. You’re going. We had a very successful mission,” he beams at you, clearly proud, satisfied. He doesn’t offer details, knows it makes you anxious. “And you’re coming to the cantina.”
You don’t care about the mission, you’re just glad he’s back. 
But all you say is - 
“Nice try. I don’t respond to pressure,” you refocus on your datapad.
“I command – ,”
You groan, “No – ,”
“Yes! As Commander Dameron, I…” he hesitates, clearly trying to think of a synonym for command. You lift a brow, and he continues with much less zeal and gravitas, “ –command you to come with me to the cantina tonight. I can finally watch you beat everyone at holodarts in person.”
“That really hurts your feelings, doesn’t it?” You snort. “It’s just darts.”
He pouts at you, an exaggerated expression that makes you laugh. “Yeah, it does actually.”
You shake your head, reaching out to adjust the collar of his shirt a little bit. Poe stops breathing, his shoulders tense, as you smooth the fabric back. “What happened to your flight suit?” You ask, silently begging anyone listening for him not to mention your fingers against his shirt.
“Had to look my best before I came to see you,” he recovers quickly, his eyes on your hand as you withdraw your touch, brows ticking up. “Didn’t I?”
You wrinkle your nose, “Stars, this is your best?”
“Hey!”
You bite down the smile that threatens to overcome you. “You definitely didn’t hit the fresher before you came here.”
Poe rolls his eyes, “Are you going to come or not?”
“Sure,” You agree. “Just this once.”
He blinks, surprised, because you’ve never gone with him. “Really?”
You pause, watching him, “Kriff, Poe, do you want me to go or don’t you? I can change my mind – ,”
“No! No, no, no, you’re coming. You already said yes.” he’s beaming at you, just sitting there looking at you, eyes flicking over your face, smiling like you’ve agreed to something much more important than going to the cantina. “I missed you,” he says suddenly, the words bursting forth like they no longer fit inside his mouth.  
“Right,” you agree, sliding your gaze to your datapad again, not acknowledging his words, “Just come find me after you’ve found some soap.”
You should tell him, you think. You should tell him what happened to you.
There’s something like hardened trust between you and Poe now, something deeper than that too, something you’re afraid to name.
He deserves to know.
And selfishly, you want him, you want him to touch you again, you want to touch him again without surprise pulling over his features, you want him to keep bringing you cups something sweet and you want to keep hoarding koyo fruit for him. 
You owe him the truth, the core of you, in exchange for everything he’s given you, so he can make a decision about you. 
~
Poe finds you exactly where he left you earlier, hunched over a datapad in the now nearly empty mess, brow furrowed as you review schematics, make notes on them, absently twirling a stylus.
He plucks up the datapad and switches it off.
You glance up, your fathomless mourning eyes brightening when they fasten on him. “You look nice,” you say in a rare moment of openness, like you can’t help but let the words tumble out.
A heat he doesn’t expect crawls up his neck, traces over his cheeks. “Let’s go. We’re holodarts partners.”
You wrinkle your nose as you stand, carefully wrapping your hand around his elbow, your fingers avoiding direct contact with his skin. But he can feel the warmth of you through his shirt and that’s enough. “Who decided that?”
“Me.”
“So I’ll be carrying our team then.”
“Ouch,” he lies his other hand against his heart, trying not to disturb your touch on his arm.  
The pressure of your fingers at his elbow feels so good, warm and heavy, and Poe thinks he’s actually starting to become a bit touch starved. Never has indirect touch felt so good.
He’s normally a touchy person, and it’s been a bit of a challenge to remind himself that touch scared you. He hugs his friends, sure, and the pilots are a strangely tactile bunch, but there was something deeper he craved, something only a partner could really give, something that he hasn’t had since he’s gotten hung up on you.
Poe isn’t really even thinking about sex, just touching, just holding you, any part of you, of being allowed to hug you when he sees you, kissing you, holding your hand.
He fantasizes, sometimes, about getting to hold your kriffin hand.
You’re gradually coming around to careful touches though.
Even a couple weeks ago he could have never imagined you willingly tucking your hand against his arm.
Once at the cantina, you refuse to play holodarts with him, claiming it isn’t fair. “Black Leader should have to fend for himself, shouldn’t he?” You say quietly over the rim of your drink, not looking at him but grinning when everyone starts to heckle him.
So it ends up that everyone is partnered but Poe.
You sit out the games, instead chatting with Rey, the two of you bent over your glasses, talking lowly about something. What you might be talking about, Poe can only guess. But it’s distracting enough that he loses every single game.
Finally, after all this time, you’re here at the cantina together, and you don’t want anything to do with him.
You laugh at something Rey says, your eyes crinkling at the corners, fingers laced together over the tabletop as you lean closer to listen.
It’s only much later, when you’ve had a few drinks that someone fits a dart into your hand and nudges you up that he gets to watch your famed aim. You refuse at first, and so adamantly that people start to complain, and Poe has to warn them off it. You’re a little bit tipsy but you’re still game, still willing to indulge them a little.
They make you stand much further back than normal, make you spin in a circle a few times, until you’re laughing and dizzy and Snap has to catch you gently when you almost trip. The others are trying to test you, to see if you really have skill or if you’re just particularly good at holodarts.
You barely take a breath between shots.
Every single dart meets its mark, dead centered on the glowing board across the room. Drunken cheers erupt and coalesce around you. You look vaguely embarrassed, like you don’t want the attention. Your smile is tense, your fingers tight on the next dart, eyes flashing to his gaze where he hoots along with everyone else.
“Someone needs to get a blaster in your hand!” One of the recruits says, jostling an arm around your shoulders.
Your smile goes, tight, hard, panicked – and you gently extract yourself, laughing, brushing your fingers over your arms before you cross them tightly across your chest.
He starts to move toward you, but someone else is already there. Rose and Finn pulling you toward the bar, away from him again.
Poe misses the searching glance you direct back at him.
~
“Hey,” you press your hand against Poe’s back hours later, squeezing in next to him at the bar. Poe immediately turns to you, beaming like sunshine incarnate. He tilts his head down and your breath stalls for a moment, your mind curiously blank.
Touching Poe, you’ve found, is nice. Your skin doesn’t crawl with the sensation, pain doesn’t echo inside you with the warmth of him against you. It’s so nice, and you want more.
That first time had scared you so badly, you were conditioned to find pain in touch, and it was only after you abandoned him in his quarters that you realized you felt none of those things. It had felt good, warm and safe, like being bundled up against a cold wind.
“Hey!” he answers, a curl of his dark hair feathering along your forehead, his nose nearly touching yours. “You havin’ a good time?”
“Yes,” you answer, your fingers still against the back of his shirt, curling into the fabric. “But I miss you. You left me,” you echo his words from earlier in the evening, the ones you couldn’t make yourself parrot back to him in that moment.
“I’m right here,” he smiles at you still, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He looks tired, exhausted, older than you’ve ever seen him.
His skin is warm through his shirt, and you have to resist the temptation to lean into him, to press your nose to his throat and inhale. The smell of his skin is coppery with sweat and his cologne, the breath of something very Poe just beneath. “Sorry I wouldn’t partner with you earlier.”
“S’okay,” he says, eyes dark and framed with lashes that make you jealous. You want to touch them, count each little hair.
He’s pretty, so very beautiful, and you’re angry with yourself for wasting your evening anywhere but right here. His shirt is unbuttoned, the chain he wears around his neck peeking out, the length of his throat, the twist of tendon in his neck, mesmerizing.
Poe tilts his head closer to you, carefully not touching you, eyes fluttering shut, lashes long and dark against flushed golden skin.
You laugh.
He’s a little bit drunk and it shows.
You tighten your fingers into the back of his shirt again, tugging gently, “Poe,” you say, breathing his name out softly. “Poe, will you come with me?”
He doesn’t even ask where, just nods and follows you when you step away from him.
You let go of his shirt and watch him frown at you, like he just realized that your hand had been on him at all and now he’s missing the feeling. “C’mon,” you nudge, “It’s a secret.”
“Secret,” Poe echoes, an excited smile tugging back into place on his face. “Okay.” You start to trail away, through the thick forest greens that make up D’Qar, and Poe follows closely behind you. You glance over your shoulder to make sure he’s still there but Poe does you the service of talking your ear off, so you don’t have to constantly check he’s still there, rambling on about whether or not droids have souls, stomping loudly through the dark forest, your path lit only by the light of D’Qar’s moons.
The dry swell of his voice is comforting, the rumble of it pitching upward when he gets particularly excited about something.
You drop back to walk next to him, pushing aside verdant undergrowth as the ground begins to slope upwards. Poe doesn’t question you, just follows, climbing up the hillock until the trees thin and a cool breeze slips through the hanging vines.
The edge of a cliff looms ahead.
The bluff isn’t that high, and there’s a small waterfall that feeds into a pond. You think it’s beautiful, lush emerald below and the flight of stars overhead, the glow of two moons. But Poe turns to you with a frown, a worried line appearing between his brows. The spray of mist from the fall rises around you both, cocoons you in itself.
A light breeze shifts the collar of his shirt, all those undone buttons, the breath of exposed skin and the chain that hangs around his neck.
And before Poe can say anything, to you or about you or about this strange little world you’ve brought him to, you lose the courage you thought you had – the courage to tell him, finally, why. And what happened. And what you feel.
Before you can change your mind, you step around him and leap into the void.
~
When he looks over the edge of the cliffside, he imagines the spikes of rocks in the water below.
The swirl of the water reminds him of that thought he had about your eyes the first time he saw you. Grief like the sharp tips of rocks at the bottom of a pool.
Poe gets that feeling again, the same one that had bubbled up in him when he first met your eyes. Fear rakes through him, but he’s never backed away from something that scares him, not even you. With his heartbeat loud in his ears, and an unknown feeling tugging at the back of his throat, Poe watches you jump.
He lets out a strangled gasp.
You hang there for a moment, suspended in space, light from the moons crystalizing around you, threading through your hair. And Poe thinks, Maker, save me, because you look like a falling star, you look like all the stars in the galaxy raining down.
And then you drop and fall into the pond, sinking so deeply he loses sight of you.
You disappear from sight and Poe curses, not hesitating to follow you, jumping over the side too, without hesitation because all he can think about are the blades of rocks.
The water is dark and something darts by his ankle, but when he surfaces, you’re already there, smiling at him, your teeth shining in the light of the moons. Any warmth he felt from the glow of the drinks settled in his veins has evaporated. “Kriffin hell, what were you thinking – ,”
You bob closer to him, the falls a distant roar, your lips dipping below the surface of the water. His breath stutters to a halt, through the cool cut of the water, your warm hand tangles with his.
For the second, third, fourth time tonight, you’re willingly touching him, and this time it’s your bare skin against his.
You stroke your thumb over the back of his hand, “I do it all the time. It’s fine.” You point up at the cliff, water trailing down your arm, “That’s where I watch for you.” Your arm ticks out, pointing at the stars now.
Poe catalogues that information for later, his brain short circuiting at the thought of you at the top of that cliff alone, waiting and watching the stars.  
“A little warning would have been nice,” he huffs. “You know there are predators in this forest.”
“And yet, I’ve always been fine.” You ghost your other hand up his arm, fisting in the collar of his shirt. “Jumping…It’s the closest feeling I get to flying these days.”
Poe doesn’t know how to respond for a moment, watching beads of water pearl and drip down your face, over the line of your nose and curve of your jaw. “What happened?” He asks the question he never dares to.
You hesitate for only a moment, sliding your hand down his arm. The moment is surreal, the warmth of you like walking on the surface of a sun, like flying through fire. It’s only made more intense by the cold water around you, binding you together. “What happens to everyone, I think. I’m not special.” You shrug, the whites of your eyes blinding in the dark quiet world you’ve brought him to. “The First Order came. I was the only one left. After.”
The way you say it is breathless, like you’re breathing through pain, an old injury.
“It’s more than that,” he says, stubborn about it. “There’s more.”
You blink, water webbing in your lashes. “And I want to tell you, Poe. Will you listen?”
~
You tell him about the destruction of your home world.
“I raced,” you say hollowly, sitting next to him in the sand that rings the pond. “I used to race. I always won. I was really good at flying, Poe. I can’t remember ever losing.”
Poe squeezes your fingers, the sensation of finally getting to touch you muddling his brain just a bit. “What did you race?”
“Anything,” you say breathlessly. “Anything that I could. Anything that would fly.” You pause and clear the tightness from your voice, “Anyways, we didn’t have much of a resistance presence and no connections. So, when the First Order came…” you trail off and don’t continue for a long time, turning your forehead into Poe’s shoulder, the crown of your head heavy against his arm.
“It was over before it started. But we had to try. I thought I could fly anything. And I could. But it was just me and a few others and it was…there was no way…” you swallow. “I was the only one left, and I crashed.”  
There are a lot of details you’re leaving out, that’s clear. But the pain in your voice makes him keep his questions to himself. Instead, Poe strokes his hand along your temple, the curve of your cheek, swipes away the tears before they can really escape.
You only continue when he wraps an arm around your waist. Those eyes, your mourning flower eyes, like the deadliness of unseen depths, like something sharp and angry and deep, flash open.
You still scare him, but he never wants to look away, he never wants you to look away. Those pierced, shattered bits of you stare back at him. “I crashed. And there was nothing and no one and – everyone was gone.” Dead, you don’t say. Everyone was dead. “And I didn’t even have a medpack. No food. Everything hurt. It still hurts sometimes, like I can feel how raw my body was for so long. That’s why…the scars. The wounds weren’t treated and so I scarred really badly. And the pain never really goes away. It’s worse when people touch me because it wasn’t over. That wasn’t the end of it.”
You close your eyes, “They found me. But I didn’t know anything because I was just some kid with a ship and guts. They thought I knew some kriffin resistance secret.”
Poe goes still.
You were tortured.
“What happened?” he asks, instead of lingering on that thought, on those dreadful memories that swarm up the back of his throat.  
“I wasn’t worth killing. Or maybe they thought I was as good as dead, or already dead. They left me. Somewhere. I don’t remember. Until I was found and healed. I don’t really remember by who. I don’t remember where I was. And then I didn’t know what to do for a long time. My memories are…they come and go. Eventually, I joined the resistance because what else was I supposed to do? Everything I knew, it was all gone. All I had were a couple of spare tools from my ship.” Your eyes flash open, “But now I can’t even look at a ship without – ,” you stop, jaw clenching.
“It’s why I worry about you and why I don’t want to say goodbye and why I tried so hard not to let you see me. Why I didn’t want you to touch me, for anyone to touch me.” The words spill out of you in a torrent, like you can’t get them out quickly enough. “Anyways. Now you know.”  
Poe doesn’t have any words to offer you, nothing that can take away what happened to you. He pulls you close, tucks your head under his chin, and you lean into his shoulder, nose pressed to the fabric of his shirt.
It’s quiet for a long time, so long the sky starts to lighten, and he knows you both need to head back to base. He’s already been gone too long. The only thing keeping him from going is that fact he hasn’t been commed.
If something drastic happened, someone could always contact him.
Your fingers tighten on his before you release his hand and pull away and lumber to your feet. You open your mouth, blink at him, an amused expression pulling over your face.
You reach down and brush a hand through his hair. “You’re covered in sand.” You show him your hand, a lot thin layer of sand coating your palm.
Maybe sitting on the sand in your entirely soaked clothes hadn’t been the best idea.
He wouldn’t change it for anything.
Poe grins, “You are too. We’re about to have a reputation.”
“Okay,” you shrug. “I’m okay with that.” You don’t look at him when you say it, eyes turned toward the horizon instead.
His heart shutters, his lungs seize, at the meaning behind your words. “Oh, yeah? Y’know gossip goes around quick.”
“It’s not really gossip, is it? More like an announcement.”
He grins, takes your hand when you offer it to him and pulls himself up, smearing more of the sand down your cheek and over your neck as he does, leaning into you, pressing his nose to your cheek, because you let him. You squirm, trying to pull away. “C’mon,” he laughs, stooping for another handful of sand, “I thought you were okay with this!”
“Poe…” you warn, a smile finally jerking into place on your face as you back out of his arms and away from him. “Don’t.”
“Too late!” he starts forward, and you dash backward, crashing into the copse of trees and out of sight.
When you finally make it back to the base, both of you covered head to toe in sand, Poe finally catches you.
He doesn’t hesitate in kissing you for the first time, doesn’t mind that it’s gritty and kind of gross. You taste like D’Qar, like stars and evergreen. You tilt your head up, smooth your fingers up his arms.
Poe tilts you back into the nearest wall, not caring who sees or what they think. It’s an open secret that he’s in love with you anyways, so if any reaction was warranted, he feels it’s cheering.
Besides, what better what better way to announce yourselves?
Your fingers cup around his wrists, mouth soft and giving beneath his. A sigh slips past your lips, the breath of you against his chin.
Poe can’t help smiling, grinning, into you, knocking his forehead against yours. “This is okay, isn’t it?”
“You would have known by now if it wasn’t, Dameron,” you say. 
“I mean,” he thinks back to your words, “You’re not in pain? I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“You can’t, you wouldn’t,” you murmur, tilting your head to the side, eyes wide and open, those unknowable depths just a bit less grief stricken. His gaze trails down your neck, over the soft skin, the bump of scar tissue. You have sand there too. “How did you get sand inside your shirt?” Your fingers slide against his chest, inside the open buttons, fitting right in above his heart.
He closes his eyes, jaw clenching.
You trace the vein in his neck, cup his cheek, press a kiss to his nose. “Sorry,” you say. “Sorry it took so long. Sorry I ran out of your room that day.”
“It didn’t take too long,” he blinks at you. “But I will be making up for lost time.”
Poe mirrors the grin that spreads over your face.
~
“ – well, but, baby, if I’m the one that’s flying,” Poe whines. “Would that be as bad?”
You glare at him from your workbench, huge eyes staring at him from behind those magnifying glasses you use to work on delicate equipment. “Yes. It’s still in the air, isn’t it?”
“What if we have to suddenly evacuate?”
“Guess I’ll be standing out front with a blaster,” you snark. “Waving goodbye to your ship.”
Poe rolls his eyes, “You're gonna have to fly again someday. Why not with me? For a start?”
“I absolutely do not have to fly again.” You ignore the rest of his offer.
“So, you’re planning to stay on D’Qar…forever?” He pauses, “How did you get here?”
You frown at him, taking off the glasses and tossing them on the table. “By ship, and it was horrible. And so what if I am? I like it here.”
“Well,” he approaches your place at the bench, circling an arm around your shoulders, “hopefully one day this war ends.”
You don’t look at him, but you do tilt your body into his, warm and pliant against him, scrolling idly on your datapad. Poe catches the way your fingers shake a little bit. “Hopefully,” you intone, scooting over on the bench so he can sit next to you. “That doesn’t mean I have to go off planet.”
Poe decides to drop it, instead leaning in to press a kiss to your temple. “I’ve never crashed you know,” he says against your skin. 
You grin and glance over, “That is a lie, Poe Dameron.”
“Only a little one.” He presses a hand to either side of your head, tilts your face up. “You look pretty today.” He swipes at the line of black grease down your cheek. “Really pretty.”
“Just today?”
“Everyday. But especially today,” he presses a long, lingering kiss to your mouth, likes the way you follow his lips when he pulls away.
“Poe?” You say against his lips, and he hums back at you, nuzzling his nose against yours.
“Yes?”
“I’m not going in that kriffin x-wing with you.”
He sighs, standing to pick up his helmet, “Worth a try. Are you going to come say goodbye?”
“Of course. I’ve never let BB-8 leave without telling him goodbye,” you hold out your hand to him, folding your fingers between his.
You smile and brush your thumb across the back of his knuckles.
~
Poe wears you down one night.
About the flying thing.
He doesn’t let it go, like he can’t let anything go, though he tries to be gentle with you about it.
“Baby,” he says into your skin, and you melt, and sigh, and you’re mad, because he knows what he’s doing. You’re vulnerable because he’d come back this time in a limping ship, had been regulated to the medcenter. “For me.”
His skin is warm and still bruised under your touch.
Kriff, you hate him.
You open your mouth to refuse him again, when he says, “Don’t you miss the stars?” And your throat goes tight, “I mean, you used to race. Do you remember what it was like the first time you left orbit?” His voice goes dreamy, and soft, “I do. I never wanted to land.”
You tangle your fingers into his hair, prop yourself up on one elbow. “If you could live in the stars, would you?” You tug on a curl and then settle your chin on his chest, feel the tips of his fingers draw over your bare shoulder blades, he’s tracing your scars, but you don’t mind. You close your eyes, the feeling so nice after so long without even casual touch.
“Yeah.” And you think he’ll leave it at that but of course, Poe is sickly romantic. “But only if you’d come with me.”
“Poe,” you wrinkle your nose and squeeze your eyes shut tighter. “You’re horrible. Maker, you’re just – just kriffin awful. How does anyone say no to you about anything?”
“They try,” he chuckles. “Doesn’t really work.”
“Ugh.”
“So, c’mon, do the easy thing and say yes.” You don’t answer, only look at him, at the bruise on his cheekbone, the home you’ve found in his eyes. “I’m taking this as a yes.”
You frown at him, “You’re very cruel. Asking me this after you crashed back onto this planet.”
“I’ve never crashed. It was just a hard landing.”
You scoff, poke the bruise, turn your cheek into his chest. “Uh huh, hard landing. Worst landing I’ve ever seen.”
His chest rises and falls with a few long breaths, and you think he’s finally fallen asleep when – “So…is that a yes?”
You roll your eyes and groan, “Yes, Poe, it’s a yes.”
Poe tucks his arms around you, breathes against your temple for a moment, before you find yourself on your back, his mouth trailing down your neck, along the ridge of your shoulder. “I’m so proud of you,” he says excitedly, like he really is, like it means something to him that you’d let him take you up in that stupid ship. “We don’t even have to go anywhere. Maybe you can just sit there? Get used to the cockpit again. Beebee can keep you company – ,”
“Won’t you be keeping me company?” Your throat is a bit tight, your voice strained.
He frowns down at you, ignoring your hand on his bicep, the light way you trail your fingers over his chest. “Are you okay?”
You cup his face between your hands, not really sure how to answer him. “You are unbelievable.”
He frowns, opens his mouth –
But you kiss him again, you don’t know how to tell him what it means, that he’s proud of you even though you haven’t done anything, that he stuck with you even when you tried hard not to fall for him, that he always comes back even if he sticks some hard landings.
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groguspicklejar · 10 months
Text
Rookie Mistake [2]
Summary: In which Poe Dameron is freaking out because he's going on his first date.
Pairing: Poe Dameron x f!reader
Warnings: Fluff, panicky!Poe, brief ReyFinnPoe shenanigans, sprinkle some angst (if you squint), reader being sassy, Poe being cute.
A/N: Co-written with @sofasoap because a lot happens in our DMs and I feel like some of our insanity needs to be evaluated by a professional😂 Thank you so much for the support❤️ I really appreciate it💐💐💐
[Part 1]
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Poe doesn’t realize that he’s been rambling for the past five minutes now. He feels sweat on his palms, his heart beats a thousand parsecs a second.
“Tatooine was an absolute nightmare because not only did the mission go south, we had to spend an entire week getting roasted in the Maker-Forsaken heat–”
He doesn’t think he’s said this many words in an entire day. 
He’s nervous. Almost fearful that this date won’t go as planned. That you might hate him and never want anything to do with him.
That wasn’t an option. He couldn’t bear it if you decided you never wanted to see him again.
The soft light of the moon and the stars above illuminate from above, but he lit a few candles just in case. Which worked fine for the aesthetic of a midnight picnic on the cool grass fields far away from the base. 
Finn and Rey were a big help in this entire thing. In fact, they were brutal when it came to shutting down his –now that he thinks about it– ridiculously dumb ideas for a date. There was a lot of bickering involved, but that’s a story for another day.
Finn helped him pick out the food, but Poe was very particular on that topic because he knew some of the things you liked. Sweet wine, fruits, sandwiches, and pastries. Certain flavours you’ve mentioned in past conversations came to him in flashes made him realize just how much he’s been holding onto them. Actually, Poe hangs on to every word you say.
How could he not? He wants to know everything there is about you. He may or may not be a little bit obsessed with you and he’s not very good at hiding it.
But who could blame him? With your stunning beauty and sharp tongue, who, in the entire galaxy, could blame him for being absolutely enamoured by you? Not just that, underneath your deadpan disposition and casual aggression, you have a kindness that most people tend to overlook.
Even though you give him shit for wrecking his ship, you go out of your way to help him fix it. You bring him a cup of caf when he needs it the most. You give him some words of encouragement– very few words, because you know, so he doesn’t think you like him like everyone else does.
You don’t treat him like he’s a god like everyone else does. Like he’s made of pure gold. Like he could do no wrong. You treat him like a soldier. To you, he’s that annoying friend you can’t get rid of but have grown accustomed to having around.
He doesn’t mind it. Your presence takes a lot of pressure off his shoulders. He doesn’t have to be the face of the Resistance. He’s not constantly trying to keep everything afloat. He doesn’t have to worry about what he’s doing wrong and that his actions might cost the lives of many.
He’s just another guy to you. He’s just Poe.
“And then what happened?” you ask before taking a bite out of your sandwich. “While you were spending the week getting roasted by the stifling heat, I mean.”
Poe has to take a moment to breathe because he realizes that he stopped talking. He was staring at you. He hadn’t realize that you were actually paying attention to his ramblings.
“Uh–” he stammered, blushing profusely as he tried to laugh it off with a nervous chuckle. “W–we almost died of thirst if Pava hadn’t found us.”
“Hmm…” you hummed thoughtfully. “She did mention having to bring water for three banthas. I’m assuming you were one of them.”
He burst into laughter which made him fall on his back from his seated position on the dark blue blanket. When he catches the quirk of your lip, he feels a bit of relief that you haven’t chosen to walk out after so much time has passed into the night.
But when he glances behind you, far behind you, and sees the two figures hiding in the bushes, he nearly panics. It’s Rey and Finn, both giving him thumbs up. He wants to believe that he hasn’t fucked up just yet.
He looked up at the sky, leaning on his hands. Their light illuminates the night sky and everything under it. He knows it’s probably past midnight and you both have to be up early.
“It’s getting late.” he muses sadly, still admiring the stars.
“It is…” you reply. 
He doesn’t want this to end just yet. He wants to cling to you a little longer.
Poe glances at you and finds you laying down with your hands clasped right under your chest. He moves closer and lies next to you in the same position. This felt… nice. Peaceful. It’s almost hard to believe that he’s been begging for this chance for so long, he thinks that this might be a dream.
“So…” he sighs, looking at you with a nervous smile. “You don’t hate me, right?”
You are silent for a moment. The deal was that if you don’t hate him by the end of this date, then there’s still a chance for him. A chance for a second date. For more.
Maker, he wants more. If he were given the chance to kiss you right now, he would take it. No hesitation whatsoever. He wants more time. To see you, hear your voice, hear you laugh. Maybe even touch you.
This war has taken so much from him. If you could grant him this one wish, this one chance, then losing might not hurt as much.
“I don’t hate you, Poe.” you say, and your eyes meet his. “Truthfully, I don’t think I could ever hate you.”
Your confession strikes a chord in him. An echo in the back of his mind ringing the truth and nothing but the truth. As he looks at you now, he knows–
I love you.
It takes everything in him not to say it out loud. Poe realizes that he’s known for a while now. Possibly since he stopped fooling around with other people. Hell, possibly since he met you.
“Good to know.” he nods, clearing his throat. “So d–does that mean–”
“Yes, Poe.” He can’t breathe when you move a little closer until your forehead touches his shoulder for a second. You look into his eyes and smile. “You’re getting a second date.”
He cannot, for the life of him, find it in himself to look away from you when you smile at him like that. There is a warmth in his chest that unfurls when he’s around you and he’s so addicted to it. He’s addicted to you.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Don’t push it.” You giggle, shoving his shoulder as you sit back up.
He follows, chuckling sheepishly. “Right. Sorry.”
But you’re still smiling and you kiss his cheek anyway. You don’t seem to mind how eager he is to be around you, to want more, even as you bar his advances. That’s okay. He’s on a date with you and you don’t hate him. That’s all that matters.
“Oh, so I can’t kiss you, but you can kiss me?” he jibes, feigning a glare at you.
“Fuck off, Dameron.” you laugh brightly, playfully shoving him, the sound fluttering butterflies in his stomach. He shakes his head as he watches you. 
He’s going to see you in his dreams again.
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Part 3 will come out soon ;)
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