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kpopxx · 3 years

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Spy Games [Chapter 1] : More Than It Seems

Characters: Twice Momo, Male Reader

4579 words

Authors Note: This is literally the first fiction writing I have done since I was a little kid writing stories about a town full of hamburgers. I was inspired to try my hand at writing by the plethora of amazing kpop smut writers out there right now, but by @lockefanfic, @nsfwtwicecatcher, @nsfwflint, and @ggidolsmuts in particular. If there are any similarities between my writing and theirs, please forgive me as I’ve spent more hours than I’d care to admit “researching” their work.

One thing that amazes me is how the hell everyone cranks out thousands of words with such frequency, as this post isn’t even 5k and it took forever to write. I can’t begin to explain how much respect I have for all the authors out there who can write so much and maintain such high levels of quality.

As a new writer, I welcome any and all feedback! Feel free to drop me a line if you have any critiques, or if you just want to chat!

***

“Coming up on the target now.”

“Roger that, remember the office is on the top floor. Let us know when you’re inside. And remember, no elevators...” teases your handler, Choa.

“Thanks for the reminder,” you reply sarcastically.

You survey the skyscraper against the night sky--it would be impressive if it weren’t one of a hundred just like it downtown Seoul--and wonder what you had done to deserve getting the short end of the stick. Of course, you knew there was a reason to avoid the elevators: they sat directly in front of the building’s concierge and the cameras in the lobby, while the stairwell lay in a remote part of the first floor. The logic behind your impending hike didn’t make the reality any less abhorrent.

“Meanwhile, Seolhyun gets to infiltrate an organization in the Caymans. Just my fucking luck.” you grumble to yourself.

“Oh, stop whining, you big baby,” says Choa, reminding you to keep your thoughts to yourself.

You sneak past the lobby and towards the back of the floor you find the entrance to the stairwell in a poorly lit area.

“Beginning my climb.” you report, shaking out your legs as you prepare to go up.

“Sir, I-I’m getting some interference over comms,” chimes in the timid voice of the girl you knew to be your newest team member, Yoo Jeongyeon. “It could just be local chatter, but I want to make sure it’s not someone trying to listen in.”

“Probably nothing to worry about, but we’ll let you know if there’s anything you need to worry about.” Choa assures you.

As you climb up the stairs, you wonder why anyone would want to listen in on this particular mission. This was a run-of-the-mill operation to investigate money laundering at an accounting firm. You’d infiltrated foreign governments, broken into and bugged the offices of billionaire CEOs, and tailed enemy agents. You could understand people wanting to hear those comms, but this? Either someone wanted something to listen to as a sleep aid, or this mission was more interesting than it looked.

A tip had come in through one of the new girls at the Intel Desk reporting that there was some fishy activity related to organized crime going on at the accounting firm. This was routine and you’d gone on dozens of similar recon missions before: break in, find suspicious intel, get out. But if someone wanted so badly to hear what was going on, the new girl may have stumbled onto something worthy of a promotion. Hayoung, you think her name was. Her chestnut, shoulder-length hair along with her well-endowed physique reminded you of a young mother, but her mature beauty belied her young age. You had caught yourself more than a few times fantasizing about her in your off hours…

You stop mid-way in the stairwell, scolding yourself for losing focus. Too often over the course of the last year you found yourself fantasizing about the women in your life. Sure, before the incident with Eunha you had sexual thoughts about your coworkers--you were surrounded by beautiful women, after all. But recently you noticed that your life was increasingly preoccupied with sex: both in your thoughts and the real-life exploits you carried out.

Much longer than a few minutes later, you reach the 63rd floor out of breath and sweating, wishing more than ever that it was you and not Seolhyun lounging on the beach. You take a moment to compose yourself before peeking out into the office floor to see if the coast is clear.

“We may have a problem, boss. Jeongyeon looked into the comms disturbance and someone much more sophisticated than the average joe is definitely trying to tap in,” Choa says. “Jeongyeon’s kicking their ass right now blocking their access, but there’s only so much she can do alone. Eventually we’re going to lose control of this channel.”

“Dammit. I knew something was off with this op,” you grumble. “If they want to listen in to whatever I find, it must be important. We’ll go dark. Recon says this should be a quick in and out anyways. I’ll tag you once I’m out.”

“Be careful. Signal us if anything goes wrong. Just don’t do anything stupid.” replies Choa.

“What do you think they pay me all this money for?” you tease, wanting to put her nerves at ease. “See you on the other side. Over and out.”

You could hear the concern in her voice. Even though keeping you safe was part of her job, you knew she cared about you. You also knew as well as she did that anything could go wrong even in the five minutes it would take you to break in, especially when it appeared that someone knew exactly what you were doing.

You switch off your comms link and head out the door and into the office.

It looked exactly as you expected--rows and rows of non-descript cubicles, with a princely office lined with glass walls occupying the far corner. Jeongyeon had retrieved the floor plan by hacking into the building’s security database earlier in the week, and you knew after her effort tonight in detecting and fending off the comms interference that Choa would want you to acknowledge the work the new girl had been putting in. She certainly was more skilled than the five previous team members you’d fired after Eunha, but you found it difficult to bring yourself to praise her. The Ops Officer position she occupied was a sore point for you, after all.

You deftly pick the lock on the corner office door and immediately sit down in front of the terminal on the desk, logging in with the security bypass Jeongyeon drew up.

Again your thoughts drift to Eunha. Eunha was your longtime Ops Officer--highly skilled, you trusted her more than anyone. It also helped that she was your fiance. It made you sad to think about her; about what could have been, what should have been. Over the past year, you were constantly reminded of her absence by the utter incompetence of her replacements. You suppose it was nice that at the very least, Jeongyeon didn’t give you many opportunities to bemoan her performance in the same way--to remind you of Eunha.

You shake your head, compelling yourself to rise out of your funk and get on with the mission.

As you scroll through files, you stop on one with a familiar signature. Reading its contents, your eyes open wider--suddenly you understand why someone would be interested to listen in to your communications. You quickly save the file to your flash drive and stand up to leave, only to be startled by a figure in the doorway.

“Care to tell me what’s on that?” comes a familiar voice from the darkness that you knew to be Hirai Momo’s. Momo was an agent for a foreign espionage agency--you had as friendly a rivalry as you could have when working for different governments.

“What was the point of trying to hack our comms if you were just going to show up and ask me that?”

“I had no intention of coming until you decided to ghost your girlfriends,” teases Momo. “Besides, I like showing you how much better I am at sneaking around.”

Momo flicks on the light and she comes into focus. The Japanese government made a good decision when they hired her, you think. She was built for the job of a seductive spy. Her perfectly toned legs had a lovely sheen all the way up to her short skirt, while her cleavage suggested that her tits were ready to burst out of her tight, patterned blouse. Where most of your attention was drawn, however, was her lustrous blue hair, which fell to her shoulders.

“I may actually need your help with this, once you see what’s on it,” you say, nodding your head at the flash drive.

“Oh, so you’re willing to give it to me? I thought I was going to have to fuck you for it,” she says sarcastically. You knew behind the humor was more than a nugget of truth, though. Sex had been the primary vehicle for information trading with Momo over the years. You decide to test your reading of the situation.

“Just because I need your help doesn’t mean I’m giving it for free…”

Momo brings her thumb to her mouth and bites gently as she ponders your not-so-subtle proposition. She takes her turn to look you up and down, making you feel more than a little self conscious in her gaze of judgment. After so many years in the dangerous world of espionage, there were only a handful women who could make you feel so small. Then again, Momo was no regular girl.

Once she’s satisfied she has properly appraised your worth, Momo lets go of her thumb and straightens her blouse.

“Fine,” she says matter-of-factly, “let’s get to it,” unbuttoning her blouse as she walks towards you.

You are surprised by the lack of fight she put up, but you thought it best to keep that to yourself. Her tone reminds you of a business meeting--that is, if you hadn’t seen her pull her top off as she approached you. She sits in your lap on the chair, wrapping her arms around your neck as you meet her lips for a kiss. Momo’s mouth was familiar to you, introduced to you many times throughout your career. It seemed like every time you ran across her you had sex. One thing you adored about your relationship with her was that it was absolutely without strings attached. You fucked for work, but just because it was part of the job didn’t mean you both didn’t enjoy it.

Momo, however, was loath to admit the pleasure she got out of her liaisons with you. Call it pride, call it being professional, whatever--Momo refused to act like sex with you was anything other than work, no different than working in a spreadsheet.

You feel her reach down to your pants, quickly unbuttoning them as she sinks to her knees in front of you. You smirk--her eagerness to please you betrayed her air of ambivalence.

Momo wastes no time getting down to business. You are certain the Japanese trained her very well in tender foreplay, but it seems she doesn’t care much for subtlety at the moment. Instead, she utilizes a more direct method to extract your pleasure--one that must have required its own fair share of training--as she spits on your cock before immediately forcing it as deeply in her mouth as she can take it. One, two, three bobs is all it takes for her to reach the base of your cock, her nose buried in your pelvis.

“Fuuuck me, that’s good,” you groan as you hold her head in place for several seconds, and Momo replies in turn with a cough that spits a healthy serving of saliva on to your cock. You release your grip on the back of her head to give her a chance to breathe, but she surprises you when she simply continues to work her mouth on your increasingly saliva-drenched cock, swirling her tongue around your base. Most of the other women you had slept with in recent months would be gasping for air by now, but Momo’s demeanor was cool, calm, and collected. Almost as if she was reading your mind, Momo paused her slurping and pulled her mouth off your shaft--but not forgetting to continue stroking it with achingly deft corkscrew motions.

“What’s the matter? Girls in your department not able to take care of your cock like a real woman?” Momo clicks her tongue and grins. “I’ve told you for years, you’d never be treated so poorly if you came to work for a professional outfit like ours.”

“Shut up and suck my cock.”

Momo shrugs, and gets back to the task at hand. Slobbering even more as she takes you into your mouth again, you pause to thank your lucky stars that you had a job that paid you in part to fuck women like Momo. You gaze upon her face, which has become just as messy as your cock. Momo’s sloppy blowjob has not only left liberal amounts of spit on your cock, but on her face as well--with strands of her blue hair plastered to her cheeks. Even though you thought it impossible, you feel your cock get harder at the sight of Momo’s messy face.

For several minutes, Momo continues inhaling your cock as you find yourself nearing the point of no return, you yank Momo’s head off your throbbing cock in order to prolong your session. A bit too forcefully, it seems, as Momo falls over onto her side.

“What the fuck!” yelps Momo as she picks herself back up, glaring at you. “I suck your cock and you thank me by throwing me on the ground?

“I didn’t mean to, I’m just not ready to cum yet. We both know you would’ve ignored me if I had asked you to stop.”

“I guess you’re right about that,” Momo replies sheepishly. You knew from previous run-ins with her that she loved nothing more than swallowing cum. Even though you had just denied her that favor, you were already thinking about how to make it up to her in a few minutes.

“How about I repay your kindness? Get up on the table and let me eat you.”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries. I’ll get up on the table, but you’re going to fuck me.”

“Someone’s eager to see what’s in this thumb drive,” you tease, inadvertently reminding yourself that this was a transactional liaison. You suspected that Momo’s interest in you extended beyond her desire for the information at hand, and part of you yearned to take her outside of the confines of work. You’re skeptical such a day would ever come, however, given how ambitious Momo was.

You knew her story--she applied for a job in the Japanese spy agency several years ago, making it all the way through the process before being cut at the very end. She ended up receiving an offer shortly after one of the other finalists died in a ‘training accident’, but Momo lived with a chip on her shoulder ever since. She lived and worked with a pathological drive to prove the agency wrong in their original decision to cut her. Already the youngest lead operative in her country’s history, she had an eye on the directorship and seemed destined for it. So, you supposed, it was nice to be able to fuck her before she became famous.

Momo hops on up on the desk, hiking up her skirt to reveal a delicious-looking blue thong that matches her hair. She looks behind towards you with lust heavy in her eyes as she pulls her thong to the side, revealing her glistening pussy--already dripping, you noted.

“I don’t have all night.”

More than happy to oblige, you line your painfully throbbing cock up with her pussy and you can feel the warmth radiating from it. You take a second to appreciate Momo’s incredible physique as your hands graze downward from her upper back, to her hips, and finally to her ass. As you rub it, you cannot help but appreciate how sublimely taut it is.

“Jeeze, you act like this is the first time you’ve seen a woman naked,” Momo jabs, interrupting your reverie.

You are starting to get annoyed with Momo’s demeanor. It was nothing new, really--she always carried an air of superiority--but it nonetheless grates on your nerves to see her be so dismissive. You are mature enough to understand that at least a part of this aggravation had to do with the fact that you knew Momo slept with plenty of men for work. Not so mature, however, to be able to stifle the primal urge deep inside of you that wanted Momo to see you as the best of all her lovers. More than ever, it seemed that sexual vanity mattered a great deal to your self-confidence.

With a renewed sense of purpose and your cock in hand, you enter Momo slowly with a long stroke until you fill her to the hilt. In unison with your initial insertion, Momo lets out a whine that crescendos as you bottom out.

As you begin to thrust in and out Momo settles in and widens her stance ever so little, which has the added benefit of allowing you to go even deeper into her warm, wet pussy. Momo was not a girl of surprises. Her face was gorgeous, capable of angelic beauty and fiery lust. Her body reflected the many hours she spent in the gym with ample breasts, insanely tight abs, and a toned ass to match. Her pussy feels exactly as sublime as her beautiful face and incredible body suggested. The perfect combination for a woman who used her body to seduce and take advantage of brainless men. You decide to push out your mind the realization that at this very moment, you are in fact one of those men.

You wanted to make sure Momo felt each and every drive into her hot flesh. Momo continued to moan quietly, each breath punctuated with a new thrust and the sound of your skin meeting hers.

“Looks like someone’s gotten real quiet all of a sudden,” you say, noticing her haughty attitude had subsided as pleasure took you both over.

“Oh, get over yourself,” Momo says, looking back at you with rekindled determination in her eyes, “you’re no better than half the guys I’ve been with. I’m here for the file, not for whatever you call this.” She cooly turns her head to face front again, leaving you seething.

Your twinge of annoyance was now a bubbling boil.

You slow down before withdrawing your cock from her warmth--Momo lets out the faintest whine of disappointment, betraying her dissatisfied front.

Just as Momo turns her head again to complain, you quickly slam your cock deep inside her. Momo yelps, and you notice her eyes bulge as you move your hips in a circular motion with your cock filled to the hilt, scraping deep inside her pussy. After several seconds of this you grab a makeshift ponytail out of her hair and yank backwards, causing her to gasp and arch her back instinctively. As much as she bothered you with her air of indifference, you had to admit that the image in front of you was the stuff of dreams.

Taking advantage of the highly erotic sight before you and the increased leverage offered by your grasp of her hair, you began to truly fuck her with quick and powerful strokes.

“Take it, Momo,” you grunted, beads of sweat beginning to form on your forehead.

Momo said nothing, emitting only breathless gasps from her open mouth. You noticed that their intensity was gradually increasing, so you increased the speed of your shaft penetrating her young, sinful body. You knew she was enjoying this, but you wouldn’t be satisfied until you broke her facade. You wanted her to lose herself to you.

You speed up even more, and the volume of your skin slapping together increases as her pussy drips wetter and wetter, mixing with your leaking precum. You are slamming your cock into her now, and Momo has to grab on to the table to steady herself. Slowly but surely her pretense was crumbling.

“You want it, don’t you Momo? You want more?”

“Fuck yeah,” Momo gasps hoarsely, struggling to speak with her hair being pulled, “Give it to me...o-oh...fuck, give it to me!”

Satisfied that she had succumbed to her pleasure, you relax your grip on her hair slightly and lean over to growl in her ear.

“I’ll give it to you. I’m gonna make sure you remember this, make sure every time you’re with another man you wish it was me.”

Momo acknowledges your promise with a deep groan, giving you great pleasure as you resumed fucking her gorgeous body.

Your eyes drift downward to her glorious ass, now shining with sweat and jiggling violently with each crash of your cock inside her. Inspired by the sight, you release her hair and put one hand on her hip and begin striking her ass with your other. Momo shrieks in surprise, but quickly looks back at you with lidded eyes while biting her lip to tell you she wanted more.

Again you oblige, and it was quickly becoming clear that lust and pleasure were staging a coup of Momo’s senses. She’s making lots of noise, but nothing intelligible. Nothing but guttural moans interspersed with high-pitched squeals. You continue spanking her ass, alternating cheeks--noticing a deep pink beginning to form on both. She’d most likely be dealing with soreness for several days after this, you think.

“You wanna cum, Momo? Cum for me, I know you want to.”

“Mmmmm...Ah, ah, AH! Unggghh,” comes Momo’s response.

“Come on Momo, fucking cum baby...cum all over this cock,” you shout, sincerely hoping there was no one working in an adjacent floor to hear.

“FUUUUCK!” Momo screams eloquently, suddenly dropping her head as her body begins convulsing. You knew what to expect having slept with her before, but you are nonetheless surprised to see how completely overtaken her body was by pleasure. Her upper body jerks spastically as her legs tremble with your cock plunged deep inside her pussy, all the while letting out a high-pitched whine that turns into a soft whimper. Just a few minutes before she was defiant and happy to throw insults at you...now she was a mewling, writhing mess incapable of speaking. The dark, primal part of you is satisfied by her tacit recognition of your talent.

After a short while, Momo begins to compose herself and lifts her upper body from the table. You take it as a sign to slowly resume taking your cock in and out of her. You decide to give her now glowing pink ass a rest and caress her back, tracing long lines with your nails.

“Mmmmm, that feels good,” Momo says, her eyes still closed, “you fuck me so good.”

You slowly begin ramping up the pace, rolling your hips with each stroke. You want to make sure your cock pleases every inch of Momo’s pussy, and make sure it craves you when she’s alone at night.

After several minutes of this tender, softer version of lovemaking, Momo comes back to her senses. She arches her back again and turns her head to gaze in your eyes as you continue to take her. She begins to move her ass back and forth on your cock in unison with your own strokes.

“Oh my god, you feel so good in my fucking pussy! Every...fucking...stroke!” Momo gasps, the final words punctuated by the force of her majestic ass crashing against your cock.

“You’re a bad girl, Momo,” you tease, “you like being taken and shown who’s boss, don’t you? You like me grabbing your hair and slapping your ass?”

“Yes!” she gasps, “Yes I love it! Mmmmm...I want you to fuck me until you cum. Fuck me until you cum!”

There was no command in the world easier to follow.

Satisfied that you had fulfilled your vain, immature desire to see her acknowledge your skill as a lover, you now focus yourself on extracting pleasure from the young woman beneath you. You settle into a pace with rough strokes, fiercely pounding her over and over. Your pleasure rises with each thrust, aided not only by the mindblowing caress of her pussy, but by the incredible sight of Momo on all fours before you moaning with each strike of your cock inside her.

“Fuck Momo...I don’t think I have much longer, I’m gonna fucking cum so hard!”

“Yes,” comes the response from Momo, “Yes, yes! Fucking cum baby, I want your cum so bad!”

A few more thrusts and you can feel the point of no return coming. For a brief moment you contemplate cumming inside Momo, to truly claim her. You quickly reconsider, wanting to give her what she truly wanted--to swallow your load.

And so, you quickly withdraw your cock from Momo’s now sopping wet pussy and she instinctively turns around and drops to her knees on the floor. Stroking your cock with great fervor, her mouth wide open begging for what was to come.

“Please give me your cum, please, please! I want it...I need it! Cum for me!”

Your head tilts backward as a long groan escapes your lips. Your cum explodes from your shaft, shooting long, thick ropes of semen into her mouth and onto her cheeks and nose. Over and over, your cum splashes on her beautiful face until you finally reach the end of your orgasm, panting and exhausted. Momo’s face is a pornographic picture of lust, her eyes rolled back in pleasure as she swallows the mass of cum you deposited in her mouth.

“I fucking love your cum,” Momo says as she wipes the remaining cum off her face with her finger and promptly brings it to her tongue before swallowing it down as well.

“I’m glad we were both able to get what we wanted,” you say, struggling to catch your breath.

“Speaking of getting what I wanted…” Momo says, nodding her head to the part of the floor where the USB drive now sits, evidently thrown from the table during the session that had just taken place.

“Right,” you say, suddenly remembering you’re here for work, “make a copy and let’s get out of here.”

“Great,” says Momo, still on the floor with a satisfied smile of content on her face, “Hey, I meant what I said about having you join our team. As much shit as I give you, we could really use someone with your talent.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m better off staying put. Don’t think the Korean government would let me live if I tried defecting.”

“Probably true,” says Momo as she begins picking up her clothes, “Never hurts to ask, though.”

***

A few minutes later, you and Momo had both gotten dressed and copied the file onto a drive for her. Momo disappeared into an adjoining hallway and you set off to traverse the stairwell again. As you prepare yourself for the descent, you also steel yourself for the repercussions of giving the intel to a foreign spy agency. With the information you saw in the file, you knew the Japanese would have to be looped in sooner or later. If it was going to happen eventually, you thought it made the most sense to entrust that intel to the agent on the other side you knew would make sure things got done correctly. As logical as it seemed to you, however, you knew it wouldn’t be taken well back at the office.

You click on your comms link, now knowing there’s nothing to fear.

“Hey Choa, I’m on my way back to the rendezvous.”

“Oh thank god! That took forever, I was about to call for a tac team!” Choa sighs with audible relief, “I take it you got everything you needed?”

“Got more than I needed, actually,” you say, nervous about Choa’s reaction to what you say next, “Listen, there’s one small thing you should know...”

“You did WHAT?!”

#momo #twice smut #momo smut #male reader #b/g #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction

442 notes · View notes

megumitski · 3 years

Photo

hello these are the bnha fics i’ve read so far and i just made this to track them for myself. favorites are marked with a 💥! more bakudeku plus tododeku and other ships under the cut.

bakudeku

💥 Bluebird - EtherealBeing (53k)

Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact.

However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.

Let’s Be Alone Together - lalazee (3k)

Prompt: Deku being aggressively forward in his pursuit of Bakugou, and how that big oaf would react to someone else actually making the first move.

“Are you going to spend your entire life wishing you’d kissed me or are you gonna grow some balls and fucking do it?”

Bell Pepper - ticklishivories (7k)

Midoriya knew they wouldn’t talk about it. He was right. But he never thought it’d happen again.

spilling over every side - failbender (6k)

No good deed goes unpunished, not when there's a crazy lady with a complex and Lust Quirk parading around the city. By now, Katsuki should probably be used to things blowing up in his face.

be loved - bonnia (5k)

They sit there, in the darkness of the common room, about a few centimeters between them, but miles apart. Somehow, the quiet is companionable. More than it has been in many years. Katsuki knows he’s responsible for the rift between them, and he knows even more that it can’t only be Deku who attempts to mend it.

“Hey,” he says, after a while, and Deku turns to him in question, but Katsuki refuses to look his way. “Touch me again.”

(or: the kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands)

Leftovers - brichibi (6k)

“Did you two make up?”

That. That’s why that fight felt like it was worth it, even if, technically, Izuku can’t answer her. Have they made up? Is this making up?

He actually doesn’t know.

[Or: the house arrest fic where it is, somehow, more awkward to talk through feelings than it is to fight]

lust-drunk - theboykingofhell (8k)

The one where Bakugou tries not to lose his mind to lust, and Midoriya is the useless gay who does nothing to help that matter at all.

💥 Quiet Rapture - lalazee (261k) - inc.

That A/B/O fic where cocky Alpha Bakugou falls in mate-love at first scent, while Midoriya is just a poor bookstore-owning Omega who got his nose punched in is a kid and can't smell a damn thing. Also known as: That time an Alpha had to use his actual personality to woo his mate instead of relying on his scent.

💥 A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8k)

Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? - reading_raindrop (8k)

“A-ah B-Bakugou! You dropped some pencils!”

Katsuki stiffened. Kirishima and Kaminari froze. Basically, everyone within earshot stopped what they were doing to look at Izuku like he sprouted a second head. What did he just call him? “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Katsuki whipped his head towards Izuku with his signature death glare as he stood up from where he picked up the fallen supplies.

“U-um I said you dropped some pencils! I think this eraser might be yours to-”

“No. What the fuck did you just call me?”

Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would

💥 take care - Chrome (2k)

There are words to say stay safe, I’ll miss you, I love you, but Kacchan has always preferred to leave things unspoken. Izuku isn’t much with languages, but he thinks he’s figured out this one.

---

“Emotional constipation manifested as over-the-top housewifery?” Mina asks. Before Izuku can say that is not what he meant at all, she nods. “Yeah, I can see it.”

Just Look At Me - Colourcubify (52k) - dnf

Midoriya is completely happy with his life. Nope, not one single regret in his twenty-seven years. He especially doesn't regret running into his old childhood friend/bully after almost ten years, nor does he regret spilling coffee all over his very expensive looking suit. How nice it will be to die with no regrets. ~~~~ AKA the sugar daddy AU I meant to be a one shot, that turned into a full fledged story.

A Nest for the Best - Camellia_Sinensis (1k)

Deku’s been nesting and asking everyone in 1-A for pieces of clothing for his horde. Everyone, that is, except Katsuki. Cue the jealousy.

unforgiving - i_write_emotion (19k)

Deku is hit with a quirk that takes away his ability to forgive, and Bakugou’s world comes crashing down. Quirkless!Deku. Pro-hero!Bakugou.

@ Deku WRONG CHAT - katyastark (16k) - inc.

Deku: THE LENGTHS I WOULD GO TO JUST LICK THE SWEAT OFF HIS ABS hnnnnnghhh

Deku: or! like! It doesn’t even have to be his abs! It could be anywhere else! I’m not picky!

Pinky: excuse me what

ChargeDolt: OMG

Uravity: @Deku WRONG CHAT

I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married. - InkspillsNotebook (6k)

Ta-Da!!!! I hope you all enjoy the finished product!!! I'm sorry (not sorry) I broke a lot of you when I first posted this to tumblr!!

Procrastination - capncapk (5k)

But it is still surprising to see his more-than-friend-but-also-lover-he-guesses in his office seeking attention though Izuku already turned him down.

Usually he'll get a text of 'wyd?' followed by a time and place if Izuku responds with a confirmation, and silence if he's busy.

Or slammed into the wall in the agency's shower for a quickie if no one was around, which despite his anxiety, he often acquiesces to.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71k)

The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) - vannral (16k)

In complete honesty, no one who knows the Class 3-A should be surprised anymore. Izuku is asleep.

In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

Yes, They’re All Safe - teaandtumblr (5k)

Villains have entered UA grounds and are disposed of just as quickly, but that doesn't mean a headcount of the students doesn't need to be done. Toshinori would admit, he wasn't quite prepared for what he found in Bakugou Katsuki's room.

💥 all choked up - spicyrabbit (5k)

Bakugou Katsuki had a habit of turning away from the heard. At 16, he does this by coming to terms with wanting, desperately, to see his childhood friend cry.

💥 May I take your order, dipshit? - supercrunch (6k)

So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.

(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.

A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )

blooms every hour - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“It’s you, okay?!” Deku screams. “It’s you. And I know you’ll never love me back, so -” Deku wipes his eyes and straightens. “So just leave it.”

-----

Deku has hanahaki, and Katsuki doesn't know how to save him.

all choked up - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“Deku, what the fuck are you doing?!”

Izuku asks Kacchan to help him train blackwhip. Things don't exactly go according to plan.

A Fight To The Death - iknewaman (10k)

Izuku isn’t competitive by nature, but when the blond, cocky asshole from the other table’s team gets involved he suddenly becomes hellbent on winning.

Rival Pub Quiz AU

💥 Like the Moon - osakakitty (15k)

Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.

Canon-verse story in which Bakugo is confused about his feelings for Midoriya, and doesn’t know what he wants. Besides a good night’s sleep.

💥 We Wear Chains on the Weekend - surveycorpsjean (35k)

Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare.

"Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways.

Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.

take me out to dinner first - dynamighttiddy (3k)

“Kacchan,” Deku chides. “What’s going on?”

Katsuki takes a deep breath.

He trusts Deku with his life. He can trust him with this, too.

“Have sex with me.”

-----

Katsuki Bakugou is one of the only virgins left in class 3-A - and with graduation just around the corner, he's desperate to change that.

💥 that ultra kind of love - dynamighttiddy (11k)

“So, uh,” Kirishima starts. “Was that your first kiss?” he whispers, almost sheepish. Katsuki’s stomach drops, and he freezes. Memories of green eyes and freckles and soft lips flash behind his eyelids. “Yeah,” he lies easily. “That was my first kiss.”

-----

In which Bakugou pretends Kirishima is his first kiss, amongst other things.

to the moon and back - kewltie (1k)

"He gets stupid when he's drunk," Katsuki seethes in his seat as he watches Izuku croon love notes into Uraraka's throat. He’d never met a worst lightweight then Deku, who become some kind of demented affectionate monster.

💥 Bridges - supercrunch (18k)

Yaomomo sighs. “We’ve got a little bit of a situation, Bakugou. Ashi—uhm, somebody might have accidentally signed you up for that modelling gig.”

Katsuki holds up a hand. "So what you’re telling me here," he says, "is that you told Calvin Klein I would model for them. In my underwear.”

Ashido sinks behind a desk to hide. “Yes.”

(The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart.

So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.)

Crescendo - supercrunch - inc. (4k)

(Izuku's band is on their way to the top of the charts. But the real star, he thinks, is the drummer.)

Guilty Kiss - osakakitty (1k)

He could feel Midoriya's eyes on him. Even though he knew it was wrong, Bakugo still wet his lips in anticipation.

(Canon-verse) A short story about making out in a closet. It's messy, but so is their relationship.

💥 Surfaces - surveycorpsjean (25k)

Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right.

As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.

Classical conditioning - supercrunch (8k)

(or: how to trick a boy into going out with you.)

Alright. Maybe his idiot friends had a point, Katsuki thinks as he shoulders open the front door. His mother’s in the living room drinking coffee. Katsuki kicks off his shoes and stomps over. “Am I charming?” he demands, blocking the TV.

Mitsuki pats his cheek. “Oh, hon. Not at all.”

💥 Dance Bunny - EllaBesmirched (17k)

Katsuki Bakugou spends most week nights by himself, sitting in a corner at his local strip club and passing time until he feels tired enough to sleep. Work leaves him stressed and the new city he moved to a year ago is just different enough that he can't sleep at night and can't seem to get comfortable no matter where he is.

When he finally changes up his schedule and decides to head to the club on a Saturday night, he is instantly infatuated with a part-time dancer who can do things with his body that Katsuki didn't even know were possible. The dancer calls himself Bunny. By the second lap dance, Katsuki realizes he is in trouble.

but the entrails are the best part! - supercrunch (15k)

The boy straightens up. He’s about half a head shorter than Katsuki, face soft and youthful and sweet. He turns to look at him properly. His dark hair shines in the dying light, basket of blooms looped over one arm and mouth quirked into a tiny half-smile. The sun hits his face and makes his eyes a bright greeny-gold, just like emeralds.

Katsuki likes emeralds.

“Pretty,” he says, reaching out and picking the stranger up around the middle. He’s surprisingly heavy, although Katsuki doesn’t mind. “I like you. Come see my nest.”

The boy hits him.

He’s stronger than he looks, turns out. Katsuki drops him and falls onto his back, pain blooming across his face. Birds sing. The sky’s a lovely shade of orange, clouds floating lazily by. The boy scarpers. He leaves his basket of flowers behind, footsteps thumping on the ground and fading away as he escapes.

The sun sets. Katsuki, lying flat on his back with a bloody nose, decides he’s just fallen in love.

tododeku

(You Know You’re Really) Cute - ladyhoneydarlinglove (2k)

Kirishima poses the question, who’s the cutest boy in Class 1-A? The answers kind of surprise everyone, especially Midoriya.

Everything Except - Pouler (28k)

"In retrospect, Midoriya probably should’ve realized the moment they were enveloped in a glittering pink cloud that something was about to go Very Wrong."

After an encounter with a unique villain threatens to change the nature of their partnership, Midoriya must find a way to get things back to normal between him and Todoroki. That is, if he's certain that getting 'back to normal' is what he really wants...

count your blessings, not your flaws - PitViperOfDoom (7k)

Midoriya Izuku has never been asked out, confessed to, or flirted with, except as a joke.

Riddles in the Heart - PitViperOfDoom (19k)

The law is clear: whoever correctly answers three riddles will marry the prince, while all who fail are to be executed. The people live in fear as more challengers try and fail, and the throne grows bloodier with every passing year. But a young prince, nameless and in exile from his home, believes there may be more to this brutal challenge than meets the eye.

Of course, there's only one way to find out: ring the gong, and take the trial.

Late bloomer - Nohaljiachi (10k)

That’s why when they’ve found themselves face to face on the ring of the sport festival once more, for the third time ever since they’ve met each other, and Izuku smiled at him, eager and challenging, self-confident but never full of himself, Shouto blinked, dazed and shocked, in realizing just how blindingly beautiful his best friend was. The way Izuku’s white shirt clung on his muscles, the little peek of his collar bone and the hard lines of his pecs visible under it, the way his thighs curved and filled the school gym uniform.

‘Oh, fuck—‘ Shouto thought, his head spinning, feeling like he just got run over by a freight train. ‘Shit. He’s- hot?’

Burn and Breathe - PitViperOfDoom (11k)

Soulmates are connected through pain, and some bonds have more to share than others. Todoroki Shouto wishes he could reject his soulmate. Midoriya wants nothing more than to protect his own.

one string, fit for a bow - furihatachlookie (5k)

There was no magical moment that played a part in Midoriya's realization that he liked Todoroki. The thin red string that greeted him every time he looked down at his hand was an obvious factor, yes, but it wasn't love at first sight either.

It sorta just... happened over time.

fire and feelings - kagshina (8k)

“Uh…” he starts, eyes widening. “Your finger’s on fire.”

Todoroki’s face scrunches together, confused, and then he looks down, noticing the flame. Midoriya watches as shock flashes across Todoroki’s face, and then horror, and then finally settles on embarrassment as he puts out the flame.

“Shit,” Todoroki mumbles, and Midoriya’s lip curves upward.

bakutododeku

💥 Fire in the Mountains - EllaBesmirched (168k)

“I’ll do it.”

Enji froze, fingers curling into a fist at his side, and didn’t turn around.

Shouto froze too, feeling his own eyes widen in shock at the words that had come out of his mouth, at the fact that he had actually stood up, followed his father out of the room, and dashed after him all just to say… he’d do it? He would do it? Him. Shouto Todoroki. He would--

Enji finally turned around and fixed Shouto with an expression so scathing, Shouto had to fight to keep his chin raised. “You’ll marry the Barbarian King.”

Shouto blinked. “Yes.”

The Ballad of Love and Hate - EllaBesmirched (6k)

After eight painfully long years, Katsuki finally has Izuku back. He's determined to keep him this time, and to do that, he knows there are some things he has to say.

(mis)matched - ethydium (12k)

Midoriya doesn't hate the idea of finding one's soulmate, even though he had long since given up on finding his own. And then Bakugou and Todoroki match, and while he's happy for them, his heart breaks from all the unsaid things he feels for them.

Or:

Midoriya pines and suffers his way to his own happy ending.

pillowed by love - ethydium (21k)

As a prank, Uraraka gets Midoriya a body pillow (dakimakura) with the image of Bakugou printed on it. Then another one with Todoroki's picture. Chaos ensues.

other

For who could learn to love a beast? - supercrunch (4k) - bakutodo

Bakugou takes a deep breath and steps out into the living room, eyes automatically adjusting to the change in light. There’s a boy hanging up his coat in the hall. He’s handsome, albeit in an annoying way, hair dyed two colours to match his heterochromia and skin pale and perfect and smooth. He looks expensive. “Bakugou.”

“That’s me,” Bakugou says. “You’re younger than I expected.”

“I’m older than I look.”

(Deku was right, damn him. Pretty boys are Bakugou's type.)

Want it All - surveycorpsjean (29k) - kiribakutododeku

“Hey, so..." Eijirou grins. "Can we ask you guys a question?"

Frankendick and the Great Acid Fiasco - EllaBesmirched (11k) - shiggyxdabi

Dabi had been intending to spend a very nice Saturday getting stoned and plotting murder, thank you very much, but when a trio of UA brats on enough L to kill a Beatle accidentally dose him and two other unsuspecting homicidal maniacs, Dabi has to change his plans a bit. Apparently no else around here knows how to trip balls and fucking enjoy it.

The Twitter - EllaBesmirched (8k) - tododenki

Shouto never really intended for anyone to find his secret Twitter account. He certainly didn't intend for Kaminari to see Shouto's thirst tweets about him. Luckily, Kaminari doesn't seem to mind.

pray you catch me - supercrunch (4k)

Katsuki pushes her shirt up to kiss her stomach. It’s silly, how it makes her heart flutter, how Izuku’s whispered I love you threatens to make her cry all over again. They’re unwrapping her from her clothes. They won’t let her hide, she thinks numbly. Won’t let her curl in on herself like she’s something dirty, Katsuki’s hands tugging off her underwear so she’s naked and exposed between them. “I,” she says breathlessly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying. I’m just being dumb.”

Izuku shushes her. Another tear trickles down her cheek and into her ear. He kisses it away, humming, brushing her bangs off her forehead so he can press his mouth between her brows. “You have every right to be upset. We’ll deal with him later. For now just let us take care of you.”

“She’ll get the message once you stop talking and fuck her,” Katsuki says, slipping his fingers into her. She clenches around him and shudders. “Gonna eat you out ‘til you forget how to move. Now put that fucking motor mouth to good use, Deku.”

#bnha #fic rec #mha #my hero academia #bakudeku #tododeku #bakutododeku #i do want to start reading kiribaku drop some recs pls #im just in a bakudeku hole #im not complaining i like it here #bnha fic rec #mha fic rec

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herstarburststories · 3 years

Text

illicit love

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Jensen loves you, but sometimes love isn’t the right thing.

A/N: Hey, guys! All we needed was a newish fic to say that I was really back, here it is! This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr 6k challenge. So glad you got to another millestone, honey. It's like I was posting my part for your 5k celebration just yesterday! xD Prompt in bold.

Warnings: age gap, cheating

Jensen Ackles kept squinting through the bricks of his memory in an attempt to recall where it all began. Maybe it was when he drove off the road he had known for years with the dumbfounded desire to take the trails yet traveled, threading his fingers through your hair on the night of September 7th. He could’ve chosen the easy out and say it all started to crumble with the first kiss, but no. The actor, father, and now horrible husband highly doubted that. No, as he unwound the convoluted wires in his mind, it wasn’t the first clandestine meeting that he saw as the beginning, not the first kiss or the primal stolen glances. It wasn’t even the lies or the way he pushed his body against yours in an act of illicit faith.

Like any grand mistake, it was way before that. Just like how the church not-so-gently advised, it all starts with craving something you never thought you would want.

It happened when he landed the job in a new series after leaving a fifteen-year-long rollercoaster, pushing away any real witness to the fact the old show that swallowed part of his soul was over. There was a certain shock of excitement misplaced by the fact he was going to be working with Eric again, and that the show was an abrupt change considering what he had been doing previously. Now, he believed it was his body’s particular way of telling him that — as the savage animals can sense rain or a calamity — this, baby, this is gonna change your life.

JENSEN ACKLES CAST AS SOLDIER BOY!

‘’Since when have you read comics?’’ Jensen arched his messy eyebrows at Dee’s curiosity about the Homelander and Soldier Boy panel making it to the screen. Shaking the comic book in his right hand slightly, he continued: ‘’Especially that kind.’’

‘’Never,’’ Danneel stated plainly, “but I have Google. It was pretty much the first thing that appeared.’’

‘’Well, Eric said that scene won't be on the screen. Besides, the portrayal won't be that Soldier Boy, but the original one who died in the war. ‘Course, he wouldn’t have died there in our show, but it ain’t the panel one.’’ He shrugged, bringing her closer to his side as she snuggled against him. ‘’There’ll be a bunch of Herogasm, which is basically drugs and sex. Just not with Homelander.’’

Danneel nodded at his explanation, humor clinging to her words as she added: ‘’Guess the only man I have to share you with is still Jared.’’

‘’Hey, you knew what you were getting yourself into.’’ Jensen scoffed playfully before kissing her cheek. ‘’Can't wait to start the show.’’

Jensen leaned forward to rest the comic that he had been religiously studying to form a psychological character profile on the dashboard of the Impala. The actor was spending plenty of hours inside his most palpable Supernatural souvenir -- Baby. His safe place. He sure as hell needed one of those, as molding a whole character that has a bunch of source material wasn’t as easy as he pictured. With Dean, he was putting himself and the script in one until it made his imaginary best friend. It was love at the first sight. Soldier Boy, however, was a long story short. Jensen figured he should do both, honor the character created and add his own special ingredients to it. It was a brand new kind of passion that he hadn’t done for a series in the longest time. Still, his glance trailed back to the woman by his side in the backseat.

‘’Let's hope it won't last another decade,” she mocked.

Jensen shook his head with a chuckle, relaxing against the leather seat. Even the mere smell of the Impala was enough to settle his nerves. ‘’Eric has plans for five seasons.’’

Danneel’s features contorted as if having war flashbacks. Sort of. She never imagined Supernatural would make it that far, and now with three kids, signing on for another excessively time-consuming idea for a new show didn’t seem too appealing either. Yet, she would support Jensen in any decision he’d take regarding his job. “Remind me the last time I heard that line before?”

‘’Come on.’’ He let out a wry huff, poking her side in a playful manner. She couldn't help but laugh, returning the gesture with tickles to start a very light-hearted battle. He seemed happy with the new job, something Danneel truly thought he would have more difficulty with. She’d pushed her weathered worries away with his easy-going laughter for now.

SOLDIER BOY’S LOVE INTEREST?

Eric Kripke threw the gossip magazine on the table, his eyes not straying from his long-time friend’s. He could’ve simply added the digital article to an irate email and be done with it, but he was a simple man with extravagant taste. That had been usual through his whole career, especially regarding the Supernatural aesthetic. Yet, in those mundane situations, Jensen almost found it too much. That wasn’t the case, though. If anything, the plain, yet still overpowering words that his green eyes scanned made his body sweat. He could even hear his organs working from the absolute silence of the blame that covered the room. Kripke’s room had never seemed more like an interrogation chamber than now.

The magazine in question held Jensen and your picture on the cover, his arms wrapped around your torso as he pulled you close. The most sequin smile hung from your lips like happiness was something that could be touched on that sunny day in the private park near the studio. Giant and garish letters made the headline along with the subline: Jensen Ackles wearing his Soldier Boy costume caught sharing a passionate kiss with the new arrival of The Boy’s Team: Y/N Y/L/N, also known on-screen as Cangaceira!

His voice came out as an accusation: ‘’What’s this, Jensen?’’

‘’We were…’’ The director just waved his hand to interrupt.

‘’Don’t try saying you were practicing a scene because I wrote the Soldier Boy and Cangaceira kiss, and it wasn’t here.’’ Acid tainted his words with no space for fake niceties on his set. Jensen remained in the chair, not even daring to make the most subtle move. Eric knew where he was hitting, and Ackles deserved a punch in the jaw. “The sex scene wasn’t here either, but you two added a lot of erotic subtext. Trust me, I know.’’

His shoulders fell in exhaustion. ‘’Eric…’’

‘’You’re lucky we were going to make those two a couple anyway. I can just put the kiss here and save your ass. What if that wasn’t the case, huh?’’ the director continued, more interested in spilling out his anger than listening to dumb excuses. ‘’What about Danneel, Jensen? You have a wife and kids, for God’s sake!’’

The breaking point. Jensen rose to his feet with sudden frustration, a growl leaving his lips as he pushed the chair to the side with uncharacteristic brutality. How could Eric bring up his family like this? And how could Jensen’s heart not bring them up when he kissed you before? It was all a fucking mess, and he had no choice but to choke down whatever came out of it, even if it was poison and spite.

‘’Fuck, Eric! Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think it doesn’t pull me apart every time I go home and know I’m lying to the people who love me?’’ The vein on his neck popped as he spoke, emotion gushing thicker through his arteries than blood. Woe remerged under his skin as he swallowed dryly, resting his hands on the table and looking down. That wasn’t him. He had done a lot of things that weren't him lately. ‘’I have enough guilt here, pal.’’

Eric just glared down at the man’s outburst, furrowing before asking, ‘’What’s going on, Jay? You don’t just get up and cheat on your wife. That ain’t you.’’

He shook his head. ‘’I don’t know. Y/N’s just…’’

‘’At least 20 years younger than you,” he stated. ‘’Just starting her career and might be getting the homewrecker title if someone finds out.’’

‘’I won’t let that happen.’’

‘’How? You are gonna be more careful or will you cut it out and go back to your wife and three kids?’’ When Ackles didn’t respond, Eric sighed. ‘’Just stop this, Jensen. Let her go.’’

Jensen scoffed humorlessly. ‘’I can’t.’’

Kripke felt like talking to a teenager. He shook his head as he got up. ‘’Do you have any idea what you’re doing here? This could destroy your family, destroy Y/N’s chance to make a name when you already have your own. That’s selfish in all proportions, Jensen!’’

‘’I know, I know.’’

‘’She deserves more than this and —’’

‘’I know.’’

‘’You are gonna mess up everyone’s lives —’’

‘’I know!’’ He slammed the table and winced, turning around with his hands on his head. If only he could stop his thoughts for a second and reorganize his feelings. ‘’Do you think it doesn’t rip my heart out that I can’t love her?’’

‘’Who?’’ The burning question was ready to set everything ablaze. ‘’You can’t love Y/N, or you can’t love your wife anymore, Jensen?’’

He couldn’t love you in public. He couldn’t love Danneel anywhere. Love just escaped through his reaches when you spoke his name like a prayer, and it was time to accept that.

‘’Both.’’

NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS: SOLDIER BOY AND CANGACEIRA TALK ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEIR RELATIONSHIP

‘’It's amazing to portray with Jensen. I’ve watched Supernatural since I was like twelve, which probably isn't advisable.’’ You chortled, answering the reporter’s question. Your body could barely contain your excitement under your skin, although, why would you want that? You did it. You got the job you had dreamed and worked hard for. To a bonus, you were working with Jensen Ackles! If there was someone that had earned the right to scream to the sky until your face was the color of the red carpet your heels currently stood on, it was you. ‘‘I was even a Samgirl!’’

Jensen faked a gasp next to you, a light spectrum surrounding the interview. ‘’Really? Me too!’’

You pushed his shoulder playfully while he chuckled. ‘’Anyway, I'm very excited to be here and portray a strong latina superhero. The representation’s very important, and to be able not only to cherish it, but to be a part of it doing what I love and inspiring people like me is… mythical.’’

‘’Wow, woman!’’ Ackles pursed his lips, clapping a little before shifting his gaze from you to the reporter. ‘’She likes the big words. I swear, dude. She’ll just come and in like, a casual conversation, say something like gelid or whilst, and then she's gonna say dumbass. Both sound smart as heck.’’

You winked. ''It's the accent. Makes everything sound nice.”’

Jensen nodded but was quick to sprinkle in an incendiary remark to his compliments. ‘’Yeah, I have never seen someone confuse coach and couch before. Go sit on the coach got a lot of wrong ideas.’’

‘’Hey, you sat on the coach!’’

‘’Because I’m a good boy.’’

You rolled your eyes despite the grin on your lips. ‘’Sure, mister hours-to-get-ready.’’

‘’Hey, plenty of face masks are needed to keep this — ’’ He pointed at his face. ‘’at fourteen.’’

‘’All I hear is that you’re old.’’ Your eyebrows knitted together. Jensen licked his lips at the sight. On any other day, he’d pick you up, say I’m gonna show you who’s old, and enjoy where your teasing had gotten you two, but he couldn’t do it now. You’d get what was coming to you after the event, perhaps even under the table if your dress allowed it, or in the bathroom, if you kept going.

The mischievous smirk on your cherry-stained lips proved that you knew what was going through his mind. God, you were his sweet death. Nonetheless, Jensen sighed dramatically and looked at the camera. ‘’This is what I have to deal with every day.’’

The reporter went on, happily surprised about how comfortable you and Jensen seemed together. Usually, new coworkers were timider around each other during interviews, especially when they were a romantic pair. The journalist decided to try getting a little sneak peek of the couple aspects of Soldier Boy and Cangaceira.

‘’It's definitely interesting.’’

‘’But not in the best way.’’ The only thing more messed up than Jensen’s relationship with you was the correlation between your characters. At least you and he had the purity of love, even if it was twisted enough to turn heads and churn stomachs

‘’Certainly not in the best way.’’ You agreed, bringing him back into reality as always. ‘’It's really nice to explore a couple that doesn't consist of two white people getting to it like most main characters of the shows in our current climate. It’s not the kind of relationship you should be rooting for — not because it's interracial or anything, that's pretty much the biggest, if not only, positive aspect about those two — but because they aren’t healthy at all, just as all main relationships in our show. It's not a romance series, and we certainly don't treat our couples like it.’’

‘’Told you she is the beauty and the brains.’’ His cheeks dimpled with joy and pride as he looked at you. Jensen knew how excitedly nervous you were about that interview. He couldn’t wait to tell you how great you were like you were born to sell dreams and magazines. ‘’But yeah, it’s a messed up relationship like any other in The Boys. After all, it's not a respectful, wholesome show. It's about gritty superheroes that ain’t got heroism. Soldier Boy isn't a good guy, and it translates in his relationship too.’’

You nodded in agreement, brushing his arm to keep you sane. ‘’It’ll be an interesting dynamic to see on-screen to our show standards, but it's not an actual picture of how a relationship should be.’’

THE BOYS 100TH EPISODE PARTY!

The glimmer of his green comet eyes caught your undivided attention in the throngs of people. The crowd had gathered for his family, his arm around his wife's waist as you both shared a tender, stolen look. You savored her wine and yearned for the man in her arms.

It was just a small celebration due to COVID’s lasting effects on public events. People from the set and their significants together were in the Ackles house for a couple of drinks, small talk, and a cake with The Boy’s comics printed on it.

‘’Aunt Y/N!’’ JJ tugged your dress, her mix of Danneel and Jensen’s features almost haunting your soul. Almost. You would never despise a kid for that — you didn’t even have the right to. If anything, JJ was the one that would graduate to hating you someday. You didn't have enough youthful stupidity not to know the risks of being in love with a married man. ‘’Auntie!’’

You leaned in the most that you could with the red skirt, glancing at the child. ‘’Yes, honey?’’

‘’That’s my new Barbie! I bought a beach one! She looks like you!’’ the blonde kid said with a childish joy that ached in your heart. You could end up destroying her family’s stability if Jensen went any further, yet there she was; buying dolls that looked like you and so happily babbling about it.

You were a monster. Love opened you up and planted greedy seeds, and now you were a monster growing like a beautiful tree that could never be strong enough to hold a kid as they climbed up. The fact that you could sense Jensen’s eyes on your ass didn’t help one bit.

‘’She does! That’s so cute, JJ.’’

‘’You can be her. I have one who looks like mommy, I’ll be her, ‘kay?’’

Your nausea was replaced by a pageant smile and a nod, and so you spent the night sharing longing stares with the dad and playing dolls with the daughter. It was a role that was never yours.

ILLICIT AFFAIR? JENSEN ACKLES SEEN ON THE BEACH WITH Y/N Y/L/N

‘’I can’t believe you did this to me, to our family,‘’ Danneel screamed exasperatedly as she threw her clothes in a bag and heart on the wall. Jensen just stood there, accepting the deserved fury. ‘’Ten years of my life, Jensen, and you just threw it away for a mistress! I gave up on my job to be a stay at home mom because you didn’t want a babysitter. I supported you in every moment. I loved you!’’

‘’I’m sorry…’’

‘’You don’t get to be sorry,” she howled, glaring at him with the hatred of an overthrown nation. She felt like he got to the podium and forgot to say her name. ‘’You let that woman get in my house, drink my wine, talk to my children…’’

Reflexively, he said, ‘’Our.’’

‘’Shut the fuck up! There’s no ours anymore, no us!’’ Her words had garnered a learned violence, much louder than the sound of the zipper closing her duffel bag. She threw the CC exclusive on the floor, holding onto the handle for dear life. He didn’t deserve to see her breaking, only her anger. ‘’You destroyed our family, you destroyed me!’’

He pleaded, unable to discern if it was for her or the guilt: ‘’Dee.’’

‘’I hope you’re happy. I hope you go to her, get her to sleep on our bed, and be happy for a month.’’ She gulped, pursing her lips. Her glossy eyes coupled with the pink hue of her lipstick brought back a treacherous memory of their wedding day. ‘’And then, I hope she cheats, like you did to me.’’

The next headline didn’t call it love.

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btsmosphere · 4 years

Text

Crossfire | KTH

Moodboard Masterlist

~summary: The night your life blew up sent you on a collision course with the campus bad boy, Kim Taehyung. Though you were well aware of his reputation, it was his doorstep you ran to when you were bleeding with nowhere to go.

~word count: 5k

~gang!au, mafia!au, college!au, angst, fluff, action, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating (warnings apply to each part individually, please read them)

~a/n: this week our gal gets some shit done and comes to a realisation due to Yoongi... also I am once again thanking everyone for supporting this story💜💜love you all,, n for those of you who haven’t heard I’m going to be posting a spooktober story soon so stay tuned...

“I want to help.”

Tae paused in the doorway, a steaming plate in each hand, staring at you with a dumbfounded expression.

“Huh?”

“I want to do something to help, you know, with the plan,” you eagerly pressed on.

“Oh,” Taehyung nodded, but a pout remained on his face as he kicked the door shut gently behind him, “the plan with Shinhyuk?”

“Yep.”

Nervously eyeing him as he shifted onto the bed, you waited for him to speak. Instead, he just passed you one of the plates and began to tuck in.

“Taehyung?”

“Mmm,” he hummed indistinctly, looking up at you, cheeks full of food.

“So… can I help?”

For just a moment, his bewildered stare was all that greeted you and his chewing slowed.

“Mmhmm,” he nodded, as if it was obvious.

“Oh. Okay.”

Admittedly, you hadn’t expected it to be that easy. As you began to eat yourself, Taehyung quickly went back to devouring his own meal without a second thought.

For once, the two of you were inside together during the day as it was the weekend and he wasn’t required for anything except a meeting, which was happening at his place anyway. With him here, you didn’t really need anything else to pass the time, but he had still vowed to bring you some more books soon, given that you had worked your way through the first pile completely now.

After last night, and if you were honest with yourself, even before that, any worry about being around Taehyung had faded away. Not only could you easily pass the time chatting, you very much enjoyed your time with him.

However, once you had both finished your food, it wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door announcing the arrival of the boys and the start of the meeting.

Only four had come as Jimin and Yoongi were out, doing ‘something’. You didn’t ask for details.

Taking the seat furthest from the window, hopefully hidden by Taehyung who sat beside you, you simply stayed quiet for most of the conversation. They didn’t need your input anyway; the plan sounded like it was progressing as well as it could be.

First of all, Jungkook and Namjoon confirmed the first members of Shinhyuk’s group they had managed to pick off, including the leader of a base inside his territory, though the rest were low-level: drivers, informants, dealers, fighters. Not enough to make his gang disappear by any stretch.

Not yet anyway, as Namjoon kept saying in encouragement.

As they resolved to keep digging through rival members, the real challenge was finding an in within Shinhyuk’s immediate circle – the ones who apparently were mainly stationed at what used to be your house.

“All I have is names,” Jungkook sighed, “even though I’m one of them, no one reveals anything about themselves.”

“Even the names might be fake,” Jin reminded him.

“I know,” Jungkook jammed his hands through his hair, “and there’s one – Jintao – he really doesn’t trust me. Makes it difficult for me to do anything. Always has his eyes on me.”

“Y/N can help,” Taehyung cut in then, causing four heads to turn sharply in your direction. You refused to squirm under their glares.

“Tae…” Jin was the first to speak, “it’s dangerous. I’ve been staking out Shin’s clubs and I’ve almost been caught so many times trying to talk to people-“

“She doesn’t have to go out on missions,” Tae reasoned, “a lot of snooping can be done from inside, and since she doesn’t have much else to do…”

“We have access to hackers, Tae,” Namjoon dismissed.

Biting your lip, you looked down. Since Tae had accepted your request to help so easily, you weren’t exactly prepared for this analysis. Perhaps it was stupid to think you would be able to assist these boys.

“She’s just as much a part of this as we are,” Taehyung surprised you with the ferocity in his voice, “she’ll be able to help. And I’ll let her even if you guys don’t.”

Namjoon in particular looked shocked by the younger boy’s unwavering words, but you watched in relief as he gave his assent with a nod, the others raising no further argument.

“What raids are coming up, Jungkook?” Hoseok brought the meeting back on track, prompting Jungkook to relay all the dates Shinhyuk had deals or attacks planned.

You listened as the boys decided which to focus on, though again they were frustrated by their lack of progress. Until Jungkook felt safe again, they weren’t going to counter any attacks, but they could make sure no one would be in the target properties to keep their allies out of danger.

Overall, the meeting left each of you feeling unsatisfied. This war with Shinhyuk was like having an unbearable itch while your hands were tied behind your back. You could only hope their careful preparation would eventually lend them the upper hand when they felt confident enough to retaliate.

With restless minds but nothing to do, Taehyung asked his friends to stay and a movie was agreed upon. As you had observed before, the boys relaxed remarkably quickly, and you were soon laughing with Hobi and Tae as you poured out snacks in the kitchen.

As you collected the packets, Hoseok returned to sit down. You and Tae had barely set foot around the corner when Hoseok let out a yell.

Startled, your head whipped around to find Yoongi standing silently in the doorway, leaning against one side, arms folded and a murderous expression.

“I didn’t see you there,” Hoseok breathed, laughing with a hand over his heart.

Before you could stop it, a snort escaped you, barely choked back, remembering exactly what you had said about Yoongi the night before. Luckily, you weren’t the only one, as you heard Taehyung beside you laughing through his nose, more successful at suppressing the sound.

“I hope there’s good news from the meeting,” Yoongi glared at you two, “I’m going bloody insane dancing around Shinhyuk like this.”

Everyone switched straight back to business mode around you, but you made the mistake of glancing over at Taehyung.

As soon as you made eye contact, neither of you could control yourselves and you had to fight to keep in your mirth. The dark warning glances from the other boys did nothing but fan the flames. Taehyung bit down on his lips as they threatened to break out into laughter; your cheeks ached.

Sinking onto the sofa, Taehyung looked pointedly away from you, shoving his fist into his mouth, shoulders still shaking.

With the tears brimming in your eyes, you didn’t care to listen to Yoongi as he talked about whatever he and Jimin had just come back from. When Jimin came in, a strangled laugh leapt from your mouth before you clamped it shut again, but you had set Tae off again.

The orange-haired boy across the room stared at you both like you were crazy.

“What’s your problem?” Yoongi’s sour face only made it harder to remove him from the ridiculous cartoon stereotype and Taehyung finally broke, guffawing loudly with his head thrown back, before falling against you and clinging to your shoulder, tears running down his face.

Shocked to find Taehyung’s head suddenly pressed into the crook of your neck, your breathless laugh was finally cut off. All you could do was stare down at him with a smile as he pulled himself together, wheezing dramatically the whole time.

At last, he seemed to realise himself and abruptly let go of your shirt. Pulling back, you were face to face for a second, expressions reflecting each other’s surprise, before he closed his mouth and turned back to Yoongi with a flawless poker face.

“Nothing.”

And then you were laughing again.

The prospect of Yoongi almost definitely hating you now didn’t bother you anymore. In the days following the meeting, you had begun to work through the list of names Jungkook had scribbled down of the members of Shinhyuk’s current inner members:

-Gi Beomho- has a Gwangju accent?

-Chaewon/known as Seb

-(Lee?) Minho

-Soonjae

-Jintao

Taehyung had told you his laptop password and you began trawling through the internet for any traces.

Though you were by no means a hacker, one of your friends at college, Jake, had once showed you a few things he knew how to do from his course in computing. Not to mention you were able to stalk someone very efficiently on social media from investigating the hot guy Lisa had seen on the street, or finding Soo’s mysterious girlfriend she refused to introduce to your group.

Now, though, there were no friends laughing around you as you tried to take apart the gang that was living in your house.

After your first afternoon of searching, nothing fruitful came up. When Taehyung had come back in the evening, you were more than happy to abandon the task and join him in your usual dinner routine, falling asleep soon after when you settled down together to watch a film.

But as the days progressed, you became more determined and frustrated in equal measure as you came across few things. You had worked your way through 3 people, giving up only after you had exhausted every avenue you could think to investigate.

Lee Minho took you even longer than the others to rule out, though you suspected from the beginning it was an alias since he shared the name with the famous actor, meaning there was an immense amount of unrelated material cluttering any path to finding the gang member, no matter what you searched.

Slumping back against the headboard, you set the laptop aside and flipped it shut.

Your attempt at working your way through the newest stack of books Taehyung had brought you was much slower than the first time around. Until he came back home, you barely took in the words.

At your side, a notebook containing the few possible leads consistently stole your attention instead.

You had managed to gain access to a couple of police reports on a Gi Beomho in Gwangju, but you would have to verify with Jungkook whether the photo was of the right person, or if you were barking up the wrong tree entirely.

When Tae finally arrived, you anxiously greeted him. Today Shinhyuk had planned his largest attack yet, on a shop that was a front for gang activity, and you knew all the boys had been on standby.

Taking in the scattered books, paper and laptop on the bed, his shoulders slumped.

“Nothing yet?”

“No, sorry,” you confirmed with a sigh.

“Don’t apologise,” he reached out and rubbed a hand along your upper arm to your shoulder. There it lingered, fingers slowly massaging for a moment.

“Were you hurt today?”

In only the short time since he came in, he had only squeezed out a smile once as he tried to reassure you.

At the shake of his head, you felt a knot in your chest release. But he still wasn’t happy.

“So what happened?”

“We didn’t go in at all. It was a lost cause,” he sat on the bed and kicked his shoes off without energy, “he shut the whole place down. It’s done for.”

With another huff, he fell back to lie on the bed. You did the same.

Weighty silence hovered over you both.

You had no idea how long you merely stared up at the ceiling, paralysed, before Taehyung moved. Slowly, he reached his hand out, fingers finding yours. As he intertwined your hands where they lay between you, you simply let your eyes slide shut, squeezing back.

“I know you’ll find something.”

Though you appreciated his support, he said it to assure himself as much as you.

Whether he could see or not, you nodded.

Just then, Tae’s familiar ringtone chimed in the silence. Pulling his phone from a pocket, he held it above him, checking the caller. Deciding it was worth it, he reluctantly pulled his had from yours to push himself up as he swiped across the screen and held the device to his ear.

Sitting up too, you could hear Jungkook’s voice crackling out from the phone.

“Hyung, I think I-I messed up-“

“Woah, Jungkook, what happened?”

“I was in Shinhyuk’s car, and I saw a file in there, he was looking through it, and it had you guys in it! It was labelled ‘bangtan’ and it’s full of information on everyone- I didn’t know he had that, but I just- I panicked, and I stole it, and now I have it but Shinhyuk’s leaving before me and he’ll notice it’s gone and- fuck-“

You caught Tae’s eye as you both listened in horror to the scared maknae.

“Where are you Kook?” Tae demanded, eyes breaking from yours.

“Um, at Y/N’s,” he replied, “the others are just packing away-“

But before he could finish, you had reached over and pulled the phone right out of Taehyung’s grasp.

“Jungkook,” you hissed into the receiver, “there’s two loose floorboards under my wardrobe at the back, they’re pretty quiet to move, can you hide it in there?”

“Uh, yeah,” the boy responded, “thanks.”

You lowered the phone to return to Tae, but suddenly brought it back to your ear.

“And don’t look at any of the stuff that’s already in there!”

“Oh- okay,” the boy sounded startled, but Tae seemed to find your miniature panic hilarious as he took the phone back and hung up.

Saying nothing, he wiggled his eyebrows and smirked at you.

“Oh, shut it,” you ignored the heat rising in your cheeks and shoved him lightly back onto the bed, where he only laughed louder.

“It’s not even- oh you are ridiculous,” you cried as he pulled you down on top of him, only making you turn redder.

In your embarrassment, you tried to wriggle away from him, pushing on his chest, but he grabbed your wrists, bringing you back down, grin ever-present on his face.

“Hey!” you protested, and then, “Ya! Stop! Tae-“

His hands reached down to tickle your sides, and you squirmed away from him again, only to have him follow, ending up on top of you as he mercilessly continued his attack, enjoying himself far too much.

“Ohmygod, ahh, Tae, please, aaaahahaha…”

Struggling, you writhed around, legs kicking out as you shrieked in protest before you finally reached his sides and exacted your revenge. He curled in on himself, giggling and apologising to get you to stop. You did, eventually, only to throw a pillow right at his face, though he easily caught it in the hands he had held up in surrender.

Both collapsing back onto the bed, you turned your head to one side, but you found he was already looking back at you. His laughter had dissipated into a smile which you returned.

“Thanks for helping out Kook,” he said earnestly, eyes boring into yours, “I told you that you would be helpful.”

This time, your heart soared with his praise.

You weren’t hopeful about finding ‘Soonjae’, or anything that could bring him away from Shinhyuk. Having gone through half the list already, the remaining two were the people Jungkook had the least information on.

Trudging through the morning, you were reluctant to take to the computer and be met with more inevitable defeat. Today you felt particularly tired, which didn’t help.

It was strange since you had slept for a long time, waking only after Taehyung had gone, leaving you missing his presence, even if you barely touched him while you shared a bed.

Nonetheless, you found yourself sifting through links and articles online, far from the first page of Google filled with celebrities and international news. With the little information you had on the man, you ended up reading through anything and everything containing the name Soonjae. Facebook profiles, comments on newspaper articles, a GoFundMe page…

Taking a sip of water, you scrolled idly to the bottom of the GoFundMe, which was for a child after all, no gang member, and read the ‘recent’ donations (the most recent being over a year old) and comments. Nothing.

Clicking on ‘show more’, you pulled up the full comment list and scanned through. For what, you weren’t sure. Most donations were small bits and pieces, but among the ones from three years ago, one was a little more sizeable. Along with it came an interesting comment: a woman called Sara was apologising for her ‘previous words’ and wishing the boy well.

You frowned as you read it. Though it was almost certainly unrelated, you were undeniably curious as to what she might have said to target an ill child.

Clicking next on the woman’s account, you decided to try and log in. After employing the password tricks Jake had showed you, you made it. The account had been created the same day as the donation was made on little Soonjae’s page, and appeared untouched since. You supposed this tangent had come to nothing, though you were certainly pleased with your skills after getting into the account.

Closing down the tab, you searched next for ‘Soonjae GoFundMe’. There was the campaign you had already seen, followed by a few that proved to be unrelated as well. You selected ‘next page’ with little hope.

Then something caught your eye.

About halfway down, the name Sara.

Quickly selecting the page, you found yourself on Facebook instead of GoFundMe, but what you found was certainly interesting. It was the same woman from the earlier page. This time she had posted a status:

If anyone on here donates to Soonjae’s fucking gofundme get ready to be cut out of my life XD cheaters don’t deserve your pity

That was certainly interesting. No wonder she had apologised to the boy – it also explained her big donation – probably given out of guilt.

But re-reading the status, you realised she couldn’t possibly be talking about the boy. Unless by ‘cheater’ she meant that he had cheated on a test in school, but you suspected that was not the case.

You clicked on her profile.

Her profile picture showed her holding a little boy that must be around ten, standing on a beach. Flipping through her older profile images, they stopped three years ago. Perhaps she had deleted all previous ones?

Only friends can see Sara’s photos

Only friends can see Sara’s timeline

“Not just friends…” you muttered, getting to work.

Unluckily for Sara, she had used the same password as on her GoFundMe, so you logged in easily.

The first thing you saw was that she reportedly lived in your city: a promising start. Scrolling through to three years ago, you saw only one other post close in time to her attack on Soonjae and his fundraising page:

Sara is feeling: heartbroken X(

That lead you nowhere, so you made your way back up her feed, seeing photos of her son and meals with friends. Few stuck out as anything but happy, all possibly related to the mysterious events of three years ago.

That’s right, delete your fucking facebook. I don’t need to worry about blocking you now XD

Sara is feeling: defeated☹: Just got out of court. Nrs

What was the point in all this? Just to prove something? Well you did, you proved I was right all along

Now you really were intrigued. You needed to find out what was going on, she was definitely linked to a Soonjae in your city, so you had reason to investigate further. Still, as you clicked on the messages icon, you felt very much like a trespasser.

Searching for ‘Soonjae’ at the top, two conversations were pulled up, both from three years ago. One with ‘Park Soonjae’ and one with ‘Help Soonjae’.

First choosing ‘Help Soonjae’, recognising the profile picture as the same image used on the GoFundMe, you read the exchange of messages.

Sara: What the fuck is this?

Sara: I can’t believe you’re pulling the pity card after what you’ve done

Help Soonjae: Excuse me?

Sara: You know what I mean

Help Soonjae: Ma’am, I don’t know you but please calm down. I will block you, this page is only trying to raise hospital funds for my son. I’d thank you to explain how this is ‘pulling the pity card’

Sara: Wait… Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!

Sara: I can’t apologise enough, I thought this was my husband’s page, he has the same name as your son! I didn’t check the page before messaging, I didn’t mean to offend you or your son

Sara: I’ll make a donation to your page to make up for this. I wish your son the best

Read 15:47

And that was the end of that. Wincing with second hand embarrassment, you quickly moved on to ‘Park Soonjae’.

Soon, you realised that the message history was long, but it all ended three years ago. You gave up on scrolling your way to the top, seeing that most messages consisted of ‘I love you’s and reminders to buy milk. The final conversation, however, gave you a lot more information.

Sara: What the fuck is this?

Then followed a screenshot of a GoFundMe page: Help Soonjae win Custody

Sara: You cheated. Maybe you should write that in your description.

Soonjae: Sara, I’ve told you I’m sorry

Sara: And I’ve told you that’s not enough. We are over

Soonjae: I can understand that. I just can’t understand why you want to keep my son from me!

Sara: HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL?!?!

Sara: I never want to see you again, and I don’t want kai to either

Soonjae: How can I make it up to you without going to court? I can’t afford the fees and you know it

Sara: You can’t ‘make it up’ to me. And it’s not my problem anymore if you can afford it or not. I’m blocking you

And that was it.

You wasted no time in opening Soonjae’s profile in a new tab, before taking a screenshot of the messages and logging out of Sara’s account.

Soonjae’s account was indeed deleted, confirming him as the target of Sara’s earlier status update. One search for new profiles under the same name showed no one promising. Your ‘breakthrough’ seemed more trivial now you had taken a step back from it. Without a picture of the Soonjae you had found, you couldn’t confirm if you were on the right target.

You had one last option, and searched for the GoFundMe Sara had sent a screenshot of. At last you found it, though it took a while as it had been declared finished and was from so long ago.

But, once you opened it, it turned out Sara’s screenshot hadn’t included the full photo at the top of the campaign. It had only showed a baby cradled in someone’s arms, but on the site, the full photo extended to show the man’s face.

This time, you did not scroll down.

You just stared.

There would be no need for Jungkook to verify if this was the right man. Those eyes had stared at you before from underneath a hoodie in your own bedroom not so long ago. And the hands that held his son had given you the wound in your side.

“Holy shit…” you breathed, taking a screenshot when you recovered from your shock.

Then you proceeded to scroll down. And it seemed like you had hit the jackpot.

The description had been updated, and the last lines read:

Thanks for the generosity. This page will be deactivated as I have now sourced funding from a private benefactor. Will update those who donated on the court result.

“Tae! Oh my god-“

You froze on the stairs.

On hearing the door opening downstairs, you had presumed Taehyung had returned, but instead, Yoongi stood in the hallway.

“Hi,” he said coolly.

“Sorry,” you murmured, but didn’t retreat back upstairs. Staring back at him, laptop and notebook clutched in your arms, you felt the need to share your breakthrough.

After a few seconds glaring at you, Yoongi moved away down the hallway. Taking a breath, you followed.

“Um, sorry, I thought you were Tae,” you spoke from the door.

“Ok,” came his short reply as he rooted in the fridge.

“Actually, er,” you pushed, making the boy at least turn around and acknowledge your presence, “I wanted to show him something. But… I can show you instead. You know how I was searching up Shinhyuk’s closest members, well, I think I found something.”

His unimpressed face vanished at least a little, and he nodded, taking a swig from the drink he had picked.

“Okay,” you placed the laptop on the island and opened the screenshots you had saved, “so I found this woman’s messages with a Soonjae in the city, they were getting divorced but he couldn’t afford the legal costs to fight for custody of their son.”

Yoongi leaned forwards to read the screen and you stepped aside, worrying your lip. Watching him read, you leaned against the counter to support your tired legs.

“Bastard,” he muttered.

“Pardon?”

“He cheated on her,” he said simply, gesturing towards the screen, drink in hand.

You hummed in agreement and flipped onto the second image.

“He set up this GoFundMe, but see how it says he then received funding from elsewhere.”

“Could be Shinhyuk, definitely,” Yoongi agreed, “I can send Jungkook this guy’s picture-“

“Actually, you don’t have to,” you cut in, “I, er, I recognise him. He was one of Shinhyuk’s that broke into my place.”

“Shit,” Yoongi breathed, turning to take a look back at the man on the screen, “good catch.”

“Thanks,” you couldn’t help but smile, “so… what now?”

Setting his drink aside, Yoongi bent over the counter and opened a new tab, sending the images to his own email, along with a final one of Sara’s details on Facebook.

“I think we have enough to work with. We can use the details for leverage and approach him.”

“Nice,” you couldn’t keep yourself from smiling. Even if only Yoongi was around to see it, you were just proud to have hopefully helped bangtan get another rival under their belt, and get closer to defeating Shinhyuk.

It seemed Yoongi had finished with the laptop, even though he hadn’t yet left the kitchen or even picked his drink up again. Awkwardly, you stepped closer to shut the laptop and slide it off the counter.

Taking a stride back towards the door, you hesitated.

“Well, erm, thanks, I’ll just- yeah.”

“Wait.”

You turned back around, surprised at just how small Yoongi’s voice sounded. Not knowing what to say, you waited as he stood shuffling his feet.

At last he cleared his throat and spoke.

“Listen, I’m sorry for, you know… trying to kill you that time,” he said. His voice was quiet, as if a lower volume would allow him to pretend he never said it.

“Well there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear,” you chuckled.

“No, I really am,” he spoke stronger this time, actually looking at you, “I know I haven’t been the nicest and-“

“No, it’s okay,” you flashed him another smile, “I know you were just trying to protect Tae.”

He fell silent again for a moment, and you thought that might be it. But something was still on the tip of his tongue and he looked down, one hand coming to scratch his ear.

“I want to tell you I’m happy for you guys. You seem… well, really nice, and I know Tae thinks so too, and I trust him, so… yeah.”

Gulping, he looked up at you, trying to hide his mortification at the barrage of emotion he had just released. You just stared back at him, lost for words.

Maybe he had said something wrong?

“A-and, thank you for doing this work on Shinhyuk’s gang, it’ll really help us. What you did was really impressive-“

“I-I’m sorry,” you finally spluttered out, “what did you mean when you said you- you’re… you’re happy for us?”

Looking back at you, his eyes widened.

“Shit, are you guys not-“

You tried to swallow down any signs of how flustered you were, clutching the laptop tighter in front of your chest. Perhaps he didn’t mean what you thought he might-

“I thought you guys were dating. Shit.”

You couldn’t agree more with that last sentiment.

Just as you opened your mouth, without knowing what you planned on saying, you were saved by the bell. Or rather, the door.

Tae had finally come home. It would be an understatement to say he was surprised to find you and Yoongi together, in conversation too apparently. Hopefully Yoongi had finally quit his tough act and exposed his softness that Tae had insisted you would find eventually.

Yoongi was quick to inform Tae of what you had dug up on Soonjae. Taehyung put his hand on your shoulder, sending you a proud grin that made your heart race as he told you he knew you could do it.

The whole time you were aware of Yoongi watching the interaction, and you excused yourself as soon as you could, leaving the boys to themselves.

Practically running up the stairs, you were left panting as you closed the door to the bedroom. Just one short burst of speed had knocked you out, but that concern barely crossed your mind as you surrendered to the mattress, thinking only of what Yoongi had told you.

He thought you were dating? Ridiculous…

But then why had the suggestion got to you so much? Sure, you shared a bed with the guy, and you enjoyed being with him, and liked it when he held your hand or hugged you…

Fuck.

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washymylifeaway · 3 years

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SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

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dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3 · 3 years

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TPWP Introspective

Hey guys!! So, as you noticed, there was no update today either, like I had commented that I may try and do if possible. The reason I didn’t post today, though, is because I remembered that I wrote a little introspective thing about TPWP a few days ago that I wanted to post before the next chapter, if possible. I spent the last hour and a half intermittently touching it up (while also talking to friends, ha). I wrote this after waking up at five in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep, so I was fairly tired and rambley when writing it, ha.

Anyway, this is pretty long discussion about something that’s bugged me about TPWP for a little while, which is why I’ve made Taka so sexual despite not really thinking he would be like that in canon. In my attempt to write about that, my exhausted self also went into another problem I have with TPWP, which is the fact that neither Taka nor Mondo are really like their canon selves anymore. And while that was a purposeful thing, I never could pinpoint why, and I think I managed to in this post, so there’s that, ha.

Now, it’s getting late and I’m very tired, so I’ll add my introspective thingy in a read more. It’s about 5k words and goes over a lot about Taka and Mondo’s interpretation in TPWP.

Hey all! So, I wanted to go over something that’s been bugging me for a while in TPWP, though no one else seems annoyed by it. But I kind of am, so I just wanted to… I don’t know. Discuss it in case anyone else also has problems with it, but just isn’t bringing it up in comments. And the thing that I wanted to talk about is the fact that I’ve made Taka and Mondo so sexual in this story, despite this not really striking me as something Taka, in particular, would be like. In order to discuss all that, though, I have to go through a bunch of other explanations about what my main goal in this story has always been, as a kind of backstory. So, buckle up, my friends. This is a doozy.

See, while I didn’t have much of an idea when I started writing, the one thing I knew I wanted to play around with was the idea of dismantling Taka and everything that makes him tick. In the game, he is shown as a strict, passionate, highly motivated character, spending so much time studying and trying to better himself that he lost sight of who he is other than that. He doesn’t have friends and confesses to Makoto that he doesn’t even understand how people make friends through connecting over things like television, since he’s so detached from anything other than his goals. The writers even comment on how he is almost mad with his passion and righteousness.

That whole persona seems so unattainable to me. I’m someone who seeks ‘perfection,’ right? I’m a perfectionist and it burns me so much to know that no matter what I do, there will always, ALWAYS be faults in the things I create. I put myself and my creations against others and always find myself lacking. It burns me and makes me feel so… I don’t even know. Unhappy. Upset. Things like that. And I’ve gotten much better with this over the years, right? I accept that my work will not be perfect, and that anything I can create is enough since I created it and I enjoyed creating it. But the feeling is still there. The unhappiness. The discontent.

So, when I saw Taka and his madness to become better, I wanted to take that and see if I could deconstruct it. If I could break Taka down to his core, expose all of the secret little things inside of him that he must be hiding to present such a ‘perfect’ front, and turn it on its side. To give Taka reasons for his madness to better himself and then take it apart. Or, in other words, the entire premise I had for this story was to take Taka and break him down. And then, then I would build him back up. Into something less ‘perfect,’ less rules oriented, but a hell of a lot happier. Because in canon… Taka didn’t really strike me as happy. Not based on the things he would say to Makoto in both free time events and the school mode.

In order to do that, of course, I had to completely break apart the things that made him so rule oriented in the first place. And to someone who has spent almost their entire life building up this one persona, that sort of thing can be terrifying and uncomfortable. And it can lead to a lot of confusion and scrambling afterwards.

Chapter 17 was where I made the biggest break for Taka. I’d been chipping away at him for the first 16 chapters, and then 17 was the one where I took my sledgehammer and went to town. That chapter was the one in which Taka realized just how unhappy and discontent he had been growing up. He’d always stuffed that down and ignored it in order to keep going, forcing himself to ignore his pain so that he could become all that he wanted to be. He wasn’t even conscious of doing this since it was so deeply engrained in him by that point. Like I said in the very first chapter, Taka would run so fast and so fervently from his insecurities growing up that he didn’t even notice that they were occurring within him. Or if he did, he ignored them until it all went away.

In chapter 17, Taka stopped being able to run. His feelings for Mondo created a huge rift inside him and he didn’t know how to handle it. And then, after his conversion with his father, he realized that he’d been forcing everything down for all of his life, to the point that he didn’t know who he was. He wanted to be an upright, moral individual, but how could he be if he is in love with a man? How can he be when he can feel such impure, base desire for someone, a man especially? And I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with a man loving a man, not at all! Just… it went against the carefully constructed morality Taka, personally, had spent his entire life forcing himself to abide by, and that was a huge blow to him. He couldn’t comprehend it and he just… fell apart.

But he didn’t fall apart alone. Mondo was there to catch him as he fell, was there to help gather the pieces, and Taka latched onto that. He didn’t know what was happening or why, but he knew that Mondo was a vital component to all of it. In a way… Mondo was everything to him.

The main point is that I wanted to break Taka’s character apart, mostly because I cannot imagine someone being that moral and upright while not being completely miserable (or without actually being completely immoral, like all those people who preach righteousness while actually doing horrible things behind the scenes without care). There’s a sort of misery in enforced righteousness, especially considering how horrible the world can be. I liked Taka and I wanted him to be happy. And I couldn’t, for the life of me, imagine him being the way he was portrayed in the game and also being happy. Maybe that’s just me projecting, but… I don’t know.

But deconstructing years of a carefully constructed persona is— like I said— terrifying. And for someone like Taka, whose entire life plan was crafted around a certain image? I can only imagine that would be like jumping off a plane into a black, inky darkness, no idea where you’re going to land. But Taka did that, because the only other option was to continue living with intense unhappiness, lying to himself to keep his sanity. But the problem with lying to yourself is that it gets so much harder once you know the truth. It can be done, of course, but it leads to even more unhappiness and pain and Taka… Taka realized that he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to be in pain anymore. He… he wanted to be happy. Which is an incredibly hard thing to accept when you’ve spent years silently accepting your own unhappiness as a fact of life.

As such, everything that has occurred since chapter 17 has been Taka’s attempt at constructing a new personality, in a way. A personality that marries the beliefs and goals he has always had while also combining them with a new sense of happiness and contentment in his life that before now he’s never felt. And this… this is so, so hard for him to do.

And it gets harder when his and Mondo’s relationship shifts. When he gets a taste of something he’d previously not allowed himself to ever, ever feel. Which brings us to the questions of why, exactly, I put so much sexual content into this story, despite it not seeming like something Taka would really want to do in canon.

Because… it’s not about pleasure. Right? It was never about pleasure or desire. It was about Taka allowing himself to feel something that every human feels (or, you know. Not every human. But a lot). It was about making Taka acknowledge that he is feeling these ‘impure,’ ‘sinful’ desires and allowing him to feel it. And, of course, this can be overwhelming. Taka has never allowed himself to feel these sorts of things before, had always pushed them so far down he couldn’t even see them. So far down he could pretend they weren’t there.

But they were. They always were. Taka can feel desire and attraction. He can feel them just fine. The whole point of the sexual content was to show Taka that it is okay to feel like that and that it’s not wrong or immoral. That Taka can feel attracted to someone, a man especially, and not feel ashamed. But more than that, it’s about allowing Taka to acknowledge that can be who is he in general without shame. That he doesn’t always have to be ‘perfect’ or infallible. That he can just be… Taka.

The biggest problem in all of this, however, is the fact that Taka is not the only character in this story. He’s not the only one going through a metamorphosis. Because Mondo? Oh, you can bet your sweet behind I was making Mondo go through his own metamorphosis, too.

Because everything I said about Taka up until now? I also feel about Mondo. I view Mondo’s tough guy, biker persona just like I view Taka’s upright, moral one. It’s a facade. Something that is hiding what is truly going on under the surface. It protects their soft, gooey innards, keeping them both safe whilst also providing them a sense of being. Of belonging.

But it’s not healthy. Hiding behind a persona, not letting your true emotions show. It’s unhealthy and leads to, you know… pain and unhappiness. And Mondo… Mondo also strikes me as a somewhat unhappy character. His disconnect in the game is less towards other people, however, and more towards himself. Makoto acknowledges many times after speaking with Mondo during free time events that he has a hidden side to him. A softer, ‘cuter’ side that he tries (and fails, ha) to keep hidden.

Like with Taka, I wanted to break Mondo’s carefully constructed persona and remove this hidden person inside him. I wanted to bring that person to the surface, finally allowing Mondo to stop feeling like he has to hide behind anger and rage and being ‘strong’. I wanted… I don’t know. To allow Mondo to not feel so ashamed of his weaker side, I guess.

This was a lot harder to do than with Taka, though, for a couple reasons. One, I was not writing from Mondo’s perspective in TPWP, which means all of his metamorphosis was being seen through the eyes of another. Which is not always easy to portray, sadly. For another, Mondo has a huge reason to keep his inner self hidden and locked away. Taka’s reason is shame and a desire to prove himself, right? This, in my eyes, is fairly simple to deconstruct. All you have to do is find a way to remove the shame and realize that it’s okay to feel what you feel. And yes, this is challenging, but… it’s not impossible.

Mondo, though? What’s keeping Mondo back isn’t just shame and a desire to prove himself. No. What’s holding Mondo back is guilt. Mondo feels guilty for his weakness. He feels guilty that his supposed ‘weakness’ killed his brother. He feels guilty that this same ‘weakness’ is preventing him from telling the truth, from accepting the responsibility for his supposed crime. Mondo, in many ways, hates himself. In this story, at least. And guilt is a much, much harder emotion to deconstruct than shame. There’s also the fact that I made Mondo an abuse survivor, which adds another element into this all that I won’t get into since this whole thing is already much longer than I’d initially intended, oof.

Anyway. The point here is that both Taka and Mondo are going through this metamorphosis at the same time. And I did this purposely since I wanted to have them help each other grow. Right? Because I view Taka and Mondo as very similar characters. They both have a need to prove themselves and a sense of inner righteousness that guides them in what they do. They just took opposite paths in their expression of these things. But ultimately, at their core, Taka and Mondo are very similar in my eyes.

Honestly, that’s part of why I had them hate one another in the beginning (on top of the fact that they didn’t get along in the game at first either, ha). That was each of them seeing themself in the other, and absolutely hating what they saw. Because they hate themselves. Because they cannot stand the persona they’ve created. Because it’s such a painfully false front that it’s almost offensive to them to see it on another.

Chapter ten was my way of letting them acknowledge a sense of self love for the first time. By accepting the other as flawed, but still fundamentally good, it allowed them to see themselves in a somewhat positive light for the first time. To accept that this person they once hated with all of their heart is… not that bad when it comes down to it. And not only are they not that bad, but they’re actually kind of amazing, really.

I… hm. I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I am very tired and am kind of just rambling at this point. I guess I just… I wanted to acknowledge that I’ve changed both of these characters a lot from canon, Taka especially. And this change has been expressed in a great way in Taka’s increased sexuality. And that I know this, that I know this isn’t really what canon Taka would act like, but that’s kind of the point. As much as I love Taka as a character, he’s kind of one dimensional. All of the characters in Danganronpa are. I think, in a way, they’re meant to be. But when you spend time with them, during the free time events and the school mode, you begin to see a slightly more well-rounded picture.

But it… it still feels a little flat to me. A little hollow. So, in this story, I just… wanted to flesh out these characters that I like and see so much potential in. I wanted to take them, give them tragic backstories, and see if I could find a way to give them balance. To keep them somewhat the same as they once were, to not fully remove their canon aspects, but not have that be their sole, defining characteristic anymore. Taka is still the Ultimate Moral Compass, and Mondo is still the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader. But that’s not all they are. Not by the end of the story.

Now, did I succeed in my plan? I… honestly, I don’t know. This entire thing was never something I consciously thought of while writing. It was more… a desire of mine, which might be why I’m having such a hard time describing it here, ha. It’s up to all of you to determine if I succeeded in writing these characters in a way that respects their canon characterization, while also adding a sense of balance within them.

Also— not to sound pretentious (though I know I am, oof. I always am when dead tired, sorry)— but in a way, this whole story was a metaphor for self-acceptance and self-love. And allowing yourself to find peace in who and what you are, no matter what. I made Taka and Mondo literary parallels in this story for a reason, giving them similar backstories (Taka was abused by bullies and neglected by his father; Mondo was abused by his father and neglected by his mother. Mondo’s brother died, leaving a hole in his heart; Taka’s mother died, leaving a hole in his heart. Taka watched his grandfather fall from grace and used that as a catalyst to ‘better’ himself, thus hiding all the unpleasant and unsavory aspects about himself; Mondo watched his brother die and used that as a catalyst to ‘better’ himself, thus hiding all the unpleasant and unsavory aspects about himself… etc.) to showcase this metaphor, in a way.

And it… it was to show that them helping the other grow symbolizes allowing yourself to grow, too. It symbolizes taking all the harsh and ugly parts of yourself that you hate, seeing it in another person, and realizing you actually love them, really. It symbolizes showing kindness to yourself for your faults, something I personally struggle with. By having Taka and Mondo love one another so fiercely, even without fully knowing why… it symbolizes, in my mind, letting you love yourself.

And, like… I know how pretentious this sounds, ha. And I don’t think I really succeeded in portraying all of this, unfortunately. But I just… I don’t know. I love the idea of Taka and Mondo and I wanted to write a story where they love one another unconditionally, while at the same time learning to love themselves too.

In many ways, I wish I had made this story take place over the span of a longer amount of time. Three months is just… it’s too quick to do everything I wanted to do in this story. Like I’ve said before, this story was never meant to be so long, word count wise. And a lot of what I wrote about here was not really planned when I started writing. While I wanted to deconstruct Taka, I didn’t really realize how long that would take, oof. Or what it all would entail. I thought three months would be plenty of time in universe, but then more and more things started happening, and by the time I realized it would need more time to progress naturally, I had passed the point of no return, pretty much.

If I could do this story all over again, I think I’d make it take place over the span of a year instead. I’d start the school year in April, like it’s supposed to be in Japan, and extend the amount of time Taka and Mondo were enemies. I’d have them become friends shortly before summer break and when they come back, have them go through the beginnings of their friendship like I had it in the story, but allowing it more time to progress. Taka and Mondo would still have their fight on Halloween, since that’s kind of an important aspect of that chapter, but they’d have had a longer time to be friends before that occurred. And then, after that, they’d have their physical relationship progress a lot more naturally and less hurriedly, the relationship spanning from perhaps right before winter break begins to the end of the school year in Japan, which is March. It would give them more time to come to terms with everything and accept themselves.

Part of me honestly kind of does want to change around TPWP to do this, but it would change a lot of fundamental parts of the story, which would be a lot of work. And if I was planning on publishing this story, I’d definitely do it since I think it would fix a lot of the problems that I have with how this story progresses. Three months is not long enough to completely deconstruct your entire personality, really. A year is a lot better and makes more sense to me. But, as it stands, I… I like TPWP. Is it perfect? No. But… that’s kind of the point? Nothing is perfect and if I allow myself, I’ll keep digging myself into more and more holes with this story, and at some point, I just… have to acknowledge I did the best I could and move on. Also, I do think that having it take place over three months isn’t completely unrealistic. Not with how unhappy both Taka and Mondo already had been. And there are some things that would be unrealistic if it took place over a year, too, so… eh.

I really don’t know where I’m going with this anymore, dear god. I’m going to go back to my original point real quick and hopefully finish this now hour long, rambling rant I’ve for some reason been going on. Jeez.

So. The purpose of the sexual content in this story. It— like a lot of other things in this story— was more meant as kind of like… a metaphor. It’s not about the sex, it’s about self-acceptance. Taka spent so many years denying himself and his sexuality, fearing it and feeling ashamed of it. By allowing himself to be sexual and intimate with Mondo, he’s accepting that aspect of himself and embracing it. But, because he spent so long denying it, he doesn’t quite know when it’s too much. He’s spent his life pushing down his discontent and discomfort to become what other people want him to be, and as such, he doesn’t quite know where his own boundaries lie.

And I’m going to be quite honest with y’all: Taka doesn’t enjoy the sexual acts quite as much as he thinks he does. No, I’m not saying that Mondo is taking advantage of Taka, or that Taka hates what they’re doing, not at all! Just… Taka feels uncomfortable with the things he and Mondo are doing, but because he enjoys the sensation and enjoys being close to Mondo, he pushes down the feeling of discontent, like he’s done all of his life. He just… doesn’t know what else to do. He knows he likes being close to Mondo, knows he enjoys the things they do together, but can’t quite put his finger on the fact that he doesn’t really enjoy being sexual. That he only likes the sexual acts because it’s the only way he can be close to Mondo in the way he wants, both physically and— in a way— emotionally.

And part of Taka does realize this, right? The deep, deep, hidden part of himself that only comes out at night when everything else is silent. I call this the ‘introspective’ part. But this is a hard part of yourself to access and acknowledge. Especially when you’re young. I, personally, am a very introspective person. It’s why I can write about emotions and feelings decently, and why I am currently writing this little introspective about TPWP. But it was a lot harder for me when I was a teen to realize what that introspection meant. It’s why I didn’t realize I had undiagnosed anxiety until I was eighteen and in college, which was ironically a lot easier for me than high school was. It took me being out of the situation I was in to look at myself and realize exactly why I felt what I felt, even though I knew I felt that stuff much earlier.

Taka’s still in his bad situation, though. He’s still struggling with the desire of what he wants and what he’s forcing himself to settle for. And, basically, he doesn’t understand why he’s unhappy at being sexual. He knows on a base level that he is, but he can’t quite place his finger on the why. Which is, as I’ve said, because it’s not really what he wants. He’s settling for having Mondo in whatever way he can because he thinks he has to. But it’s not what he wants, and it’s honestly killing him inside to be so close to his desired outcome, but not have it. He hates that the only way he can have Mondo is in such a shallow, debased way, but he’s forced himself to believe that this is all he will ever have, and that he must be happy with it or else he will lose it, like he’s lost every good thing in his life before that point. And the thought of losing what he and Mondo have is just… it’s too much for him. He’s still figuring himself out, still building his new personality from the ruins of the old, and he kind of needs Mondo to help prop him up as he does this.

(Which is, by the way, unhealthy in a relationship. It’s very codependent and can lead to some negative outcomes in its own right. But this rant of mine has been going on for almost two hours, so I’m not going to get into this right now. Just know that I know, and that it’s not intended to be portrayed as a good thing. None of Taka’s coping mechanisms are, which is why they all fail in the end, leaving him discontent. But as of now, Taka kind of needs Mondo, so he’s overlooking the potential negative outcome and is just allowing himself to have Mondo. Make sense?)

In the end, the only way for Taka to fully come to terms with everything that is swirling within him is to have Mondo acknowledge the love they share for each other, since he can’t accept everything about himself until Mondo does. He needs Mondo to look at him, look at his flaws, and say ‘I love you no matter what. You are not perfect, but I still love you.’ And while Mondo has done this to some degree, it’s not the love Taka not-so-secretly desires. But, like I said earlier, Mondo is going through his own metamorphosis and isn’t quite at that stage yet.

All of this comes to a head in the last three chapters of TPWP. Does everything get resolved by the end? No. Of course not. There’s just not enough time for that. Discovering yourself takes years, really. And you never finish. Even if I had elongated the amount of time this story takes place to a year, there still would be things unresolved when the story ended.

That being said, the main problems both Taka and Mondo are going through reach a conclusion. I don’t want to go too much into this to prevent spoilers, but just know that everything I brought up here? Gets some form of acknowledgment in the last chapters and gets some manner of resolution. And everything else was initially intended to be resolved in sequels, which may or may not be written, who knows. But TPWP ends in a way that even without further writing from my part, I firmly believe that all of y’all can see where Mondo and Taka will go from here. That it won’t be easy, but that they will eventually figure themselves out.

So… yeah. That insanely long and complicated rant boils down to this: Taka and Mondo being sexual is not really about them being sexual but is about them understanding and accepting their love not just for one another, but for themselves, too. It’s a catalyst. And I didn’t go over Mondo’s views on this all, and I won’t since this has gone on so long (plus I’ve not written Mondo’s perspective on those chapters yet, so even I don’t fully know, though I have ideas), but believe me when I say it’s more than just sex for him, too. That’s one of the reasons why I didn’t really want to categorize this story as explicit at first, since it’s never been about the sex to me. It’s… more than that.

I don’t know if any of this made any sense, but I think I’m going to stop now. Maybe I’ll go back when I’m less tired and expand on this (and I’ll let y’all know if I do, writing after this break if I added anything or not) (I added a little to some parts and took out a couple of parts, but mostly this is the same thing I wrote between 5 and 7 am when I couldn’t sleep, ha), but for now, I’ll leave it.

And— final thing (that I added after trying to fall back asleep and failing, ha)— maybe I’m being more pretentious about my writing than it deserves. Maybe I’m saying all of this to try and excuse the flaws in my writing, like I always do internally. But… I don’t know. This is legitimately the sort of thing that went through my head whilst writing. I knew I wanted to put these elements in my story, even if I wasn’t consciously thinking about it, but trying to do all of that is just… hard. And I’m limited as a writer, I’ll acknowledge that. My thoughts are too big for my head and trying to write them all down is complicated for me. It’s why this little introspective is so long and rambling. It’s my way of trying to not just get you all to figure out what I mean, but also get myself to understand it. Because, while I know what I mean on an abstract, metaphysical level, I don’t really understand it all myself in a concrete, definable level. And this rambling is me trying to make sense of that. Does… does that make any sense at all? Or is this just gibberish? I don’t know. I think I understand it, but I have no idea if anyone else will. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway. I hope this didn’t come across as too pretentious or like I’m trying to show off how ~~intellectual~~ I am. That’s not my intention at all. It’s just… it’s how I think. And it’s how I show myself to the world, in a way. My written work is always so personal to me. I put a lot of myself into my work, sometimes intentionally, but often unintentionally. And I’m not saying I went through any of what I put Mondo or Taka through. In fact, almost none of it relates to my life at all. I was never abused by anyone, nor was I bullied in school. I have a fairly good relationship with my parents and was well liked by my classmates, even when I didn’t really go to class often due to illness. I am not impoverished, nor have I ever really faced high expectations from family or the people around me. I’ve never really had to anguish over my sexuality, since I accepted myself as asexual pretty easily, though I still struggle to be open about it with everyone. And I’ve never lost a loved one.

So… no. It’s not that I’ve gone through what the characters have gone through. But… the emotions. The feeling. All of that… it’s me. Even if it’s imagined or created, I feel everything that I write and put down. It’s why angst comes more naturally to me, since I’ve felt a lot of negative emotions in my life. And most of it is self-inflicted. Like… I mentioned that I never had high expectations from family, but I did from myself. I expected so, so much from myself, and I still do. And while I was always well liked by my peers, I still felt alienated from them, like I… I don’t know. Didn’t really belong. And I feared that if they ever got to truly know me, THEN they’d hate me, and that was just… I don’t know. Too much for me. The thought that these things could happen. That I could have good things and then, through my own personal failings, lose them.

These fears are where I come from when writing. My fear of being hated and isolated. My fear of never being enough. My fear of letting everyone down. My fear of always being alone and losing the people I love. I write about it in my stories and I… I find a way to fix it. To show myself that even if something like that did happen, it… it can get better. You can still be loved even if you are flawed and kind of broken inside. And maybe I don’t believe that I ever will find love, maybe I can’t believe that anyone would look at me like that if they truly got to know me, but it’s still nice to read about it. To see my fears in characters I love and have them be okay in the end. It’s why I always like to have at least somewhat happy endings in my stories. I need to see that it’s okay. That even if the worst-case scenario happened… I’d still be okay.

(Also, I know people are going to ask this, but please know that yes, I am okay. I get like this sometimes, where I think a lot about stuff, and it can be overwhelming, which is why I write it down. It’s funny that I’ve never had a diary or journal, since it seems like something that would help me, but writing things down for my personal perusal never made sense to me. It’s why I always post things like this. It’s really personal, but it helps me feel better. Like I’m being understood in some way. So, just… know that I’m doing alright. I just wanted to try and explain something that has been bugging me in this story for a while now that I finally found the words for. And by letting it out into the world, I can remove it from my chest, I suppose. But introspection doesn’t really upset me much. It’s cathartic more than anything. Painful and confusing while going through it but relieving once it’s done. All I ask is to be heard, that’s all. And understood if possible. If you’re willing.)

(Also also, please know that I wrote this little introspective several days ago while very tired, and I’m over this burst of emotions by now mostly. So, again, I’m really okay. And I’m not pulling a Taka, trying to pretend I’m doing alright when I’m not. I do mean it, ha.)

(Also also also, but y’all can see where I get my writing style from when looking at this, ha. This is basically my thought process written down, which is why TPWP is written the way it is. I write like I think, which is long, rambling, and emotive. Just a little fun fact. ^-^)

#Random ramblings #TPWP introspective

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hitoshisbabygirl · 4 years

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Under the Moonlight and Fireworks // Tamaki Amajiki

Authors Notes ♡: hi hi, I’m Bunny and welcome to my first collab and first official fic I post to this blog! I promise I’m gonna be active even more now, I’ve written a few things I plan on posting in the next week or so! I’m so glad to be a part of this lovely collab and hopefully you guys will see me in many more! I hope I did my baby Tamaki well in this, I just love him so much~ I hope you enjoy reading this and much as I did writing it ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : none! (Maybe a lil angst if you squint really hard) I tried my best to make a tooth rotting cotton candy fluffy fluff story for Tama!

Word count : 5k give or take!

Paring(s) : Tamaki Amajiki x F! Reader

Mirio and Nejire are dating in this world too ♡

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Summer, the warmest time of the year, from spring flings to summer love, studying to vacations, the time of the year students look forward to, being able to make some of your fondest memories. Even in its short duration, Summer is arguably one of the people’s favorite times of the year.

For Tamaki however, he dreads this summer more than the ones he had before.

You see, He doesn’t hate the heat, or the social interactions (shudder), or getting ready for his exams, his work studies that go through the summer break, or having to get stronger, as he is one of UA’s big three. Oh no, no of these bother him at all. Not even talking about the work studies to 1-A (which is terrifying in itself) can compare to this. This summer has him dreadful for one very big problem, a big issue, specifically one person he can confirm his dread comes from.

[First Name] [Last Name].

One of his childhood friends (alongside Mirio), one of the first people to talk to him, to get to know him, someone who knows him sometimes more than he knows himself. Yes, [First name] [Last Name], the person who makes his heart beat a million miles per second when he hears her laugh or see her blinding smile. The girl with a golden heart...

Is causing him so much dread.

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It started with a smile, a gentle sign of acknowledgment, warmth, and care without saying a single thing

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“Hi, I’m [Name]! What’s your name!? Have you gotten your quirk!? I have mine it’s-“ The small girl rambled on and on, and all Tamaki could do was blink. Between meeting Mirio and this mystery girl [Name], he didn’t know how much more interaction he could take. He looked at the strange duo in front of him, Both coming to talk and befriend the timid boy. With a smile and a grab of a hand by the girl, Tamaki, Mirio and her ran around the playground, they talked and played the rest of his first day, starting the beginning of their friendship.

“Hey, I know! How about we become a group! We can become heroes together and take out the villains!” Mirio said one day during lunch, the small children eating from their bento boxes. “Hey, we should! Then when we get older we can be like All Might!” [Name] said happily, jumping up and down with Mirio while Tamaki watched them, slowly picking in his bento for the octopus-shaped sausages.

“ Whatcha got Tama?” The girl asked, causing young Tamaki to turn crimson “N-nothing something my m-momma made me...” He answered timidly, trying to close the lid before she could see the cut-out creatures in his lunch. To his dismay, she did. “Hey don’t be shy! I like octopuses, your mom really must love you to do something like that!” [Name] said, smiling at her stuttering friend.

“ Hey, do you like octopuses Tama?” She said, widened and bright eyes looking into his slanted darker ones. With a sigh he looked up to her, seeing how close she was, young Tama couldn’t help but to fall backward, shocked at the close proximity of his counterpart. “ Wahhh are you okay Tama??” “Hey, Amajiki are you alright?!” The two asked, looking over the small hill he had rolled down. Without hesitation, they came to his aid, Mirio reaching out to help him up

Whilst [Name], helped brush grass from him. “Butterflies..” He let off, the pair confusingly looked at him. “My favorite animal has to be butterflies..” He said, looking up at [Name] with a small smile that she too, had forming onto her face...

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Then there was the exchange of gifts, unspoken words, and heavy hearts

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“Hey, Tama! Mirio!” [Name] yelled down the hall towards her two best friends, seeing them head to the gym for the ending ceremony of the fifth grade. “[NickName]” Mirio yelled back, running towards her as she met him halfway, the two turning to their shy friend. “We were headed to the gym, let's go before they start!” Mirio said energetically, running off to the double doors. “Hey wait up! Come on Tama!” She said, grabbing him by the hand and catching up to their hyper partner.

The ceremony went smoothly, Tamaki and her holding hands until the very end.

“[N-Name]...” Tamaki said softly, grabbing the girls’ hand a bit tighter as they started home, book bags filled with the last day's stuff they either left in their lockers or got from teachers. “Tama?” She questioned, turning to face him. With skin as hot as coal and a shaky breath , Tamaki reached in his bag and gave her a white bunny, a blue dress on it with a vibrant blue butterfly clip on the ear. “T-this is...this is f-for you...” he said so quietly he was shocked when he heard a response “oh Tama..she’s beautiful” With gentle hands she took the bunny from him, playing with the hem of the blue dress. With a gasp and a smile she dug in her bag, giving him a squishy and soft red octopus, an identical blue butterfly pinned to a tentacle. “I guess we had the same idea huh?” She said with darkened cheeks, looking away as he took the octopus from her.

“Y-you..wanted to get me something too..?” He said in disbelief, looking at her with doe like eyes. “Of course! I gave Mirio a Ox because he’s just , well, big and cuddly like one!” She said, giving Tama what he called “the sun in a smile” face, a soft giggle falling from her lips. The two of them stood there for what felt like eternity, then finally, finally [Name] moved, giving tamaki a hug. A stuttering and blushing mess , he froze, not knowing how to handle the display of affection when he heard what she whispered to him “I’ll always be connected to you now Tama “ she said and with a kiss to his ear she ran off before he could say anything, his heart aflame as he watched his best friend dart around the corner.

“Hey Tamaki!” Mirio said, seeing his friend frozen on the concrete. With a snap back to reality, tamaki looked at Mirio, his heart feeling heavenly and heavy all in the same breath. “Y-yeah?” He said looking back at the blonde boy. ‘So bright’ he thought to himself and they walked home.”I heard [Name] was going back to the states” Mirio started, judging by his friends' shocked and sad face , he knew she didn’t tell him. “She didn’t say that when she left huh? Well don’t worry tamaki! We’ll see her again. I just know it! “ Mirio said joyfully with a thumbs up, seeing his sad and shy friend get worse. ‘Maybe that’s what she means by we’ll always be connected..’ Tamaki thought to himself, the octopus she gave him wrapped safely in his arms....

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Left with a broken promise, fragile in time , stuck in the suspense of hope in the future

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It didn’t matter as the school year started for middle school, nothing felt the same. Mirio was here but she wasn’t..

He felt like he was missing something, somewhere something was missing.

Her.

He couldn’t stop thinking of the girl who constantly pushed him out of his normal, to push him into bigger and better things, no matter his rebuttal. He missed laughing, eating bento in the grass. No looking out for butterflies together, no long walks home. No warmth.

He had Mirio and he was enough for the two of them

He never noticed it until now..and he wishes he did sooner.

He needed her too, more than he knew , a bigger piece into his life was missing that was more than he thought.

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Then the fireworks came, setting off a fuse to a blaze that couldn’t be bothered to try and be contained

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Tamaki didn’t like festivals, too many people and things everywhere. But he promised Mirio he’d go, with their new friend, Nejire Hado. He saw her the beginning of their first year, and she was just like her in a very odd and....aloof way. She had the same spark he could say, louder and more outgoing, but she felt right in their friendship. ‘I wanna go home’ tamaki thought to himself, looking for the tuft of blonde hair or periwinkle wandering about. He was hot, tired, and drained. He wanted to see the fireworks, he really did, he just..couldn’t. With a sigh, he grabbed his phone from his yukata when-

A laugh

A pair of laughs

The sound of angels to his ears

In turning around he saw Nejire, bubbly and happy as can be rambling to a girl, who had on one of the most unique yukatas he saw all night. Dragons and waves, tigers and flames, wolves and mountain tops. Dark with golden trim, Artistry and design at it’s finest. From her in geta to the black, red and gold yukata, to the beautiful pieces placed in her hair. Soft makeup that he’d never seen before.

Unique, like her.

He knew what he saw but he didn’t want to believe it

She couldn’t be back

Could she?

And with Nejire?

Then it happens, the fireworks began to blast, colors in the sky as people stop to watch and it’s almost silent, almost, except for the pounding in Tamaki’s heart as he watches his best friend, no , love of his life , smile up to the sky , that same glow as the day he met her.

And that’s when he realizes ‘I’m in love with her’

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And everything froze for that moment

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He saw her.

Her eyes suddenly went from the sky to his , and they widened , full of questions, happiness and warmth , and also...fear? Sadness? A hint of nervousness? He couldn’t pinpoint it but once their eyes saw each other, nothing mattered, no one mattered, except them in that moment. She looked different...her body was shapely and taller than she was in the fifth grade of course. She was stunning, no , she was beautiful, a goddess amongst the morals as he saw it. He couldn’t help but want to hide , feeling like he couldn’t look , fearing to get burned.....

But he wanted to touch the sun, to have it to himself regardless of the pain, regardless of burn.

He wanted the warmth of her to scorch him, to free him

—————

She saw him.

The way he looked at her made her heart flip, Nejire’s words far gone as she saw her best friend in the distance. Way taller than she last saw him, a stronger physical shape and still his boyish charm had morphed into his handsome qualities. Eyes unsure of where to look, him slowly clamming up at the sight of her. She knew better than to get offended, if anything she was flattered, her childhood friend must feel something like she did. But within that she still saw the same shy third grade Tamaki Amajki in front of her, scared to speak his mind, making her heart smile at the thought. ‘He hasn’t changed a bit’ she said to herself as she smiled sweetly at him, throwing a gentle wave to him as her hyper female friend Nejire pulled her to a stand , then disappearing into the sea of people.....

But the only sea she wanted to drown in was the darkness of his eyes wrapped in the cool of his arms.

She wanted the sea of him to take her into his heart

—————

“Tamaki?” Mirio said, touching his friends shoulders as he watched him jump at the feeling, wide eyes and stuttering out incomplete sentences, he shook him and with the loudest and most confident voice Mirio’s ever seen or hear his best friend say “She’s here, she back Mirio, my bunny’s back”

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Which brings us to the current time of why Tamaki hates the summer. His long standing, hidden feeling crush is back in town, and going to one of the biggest hero course based schools in Japan ,UA Academy, with no other than the shy boy himself

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“Why didn’t you tell me she was back, Mirio?” Tamaki said , a large sigh tumbling from his lips As he watched the two girls walk arm and arm together to class , Mirio and himself headed to their own designated room. “I didn’t know myself Tamaki, honest! Nejire just said she was showing a new student around , how was I supposed to know it was [Name]! I’m glad she's back though, I missed her but obviously not as much as you do ~” Mirio stated, elbowing his red friend as they sat down for their lessons. ‘Didn’t know..huh’ he looked out the window as everyone poured in. This was gonna be a long day..

———————

Nejire walked arm and arm with [Name], the two of them blabbering to each other as they headed to their class together. “Aw come on and have fun, I need your help y'know don’t laugh at me! ” She whined, shaking the now laughing girl. “I know! Why don’t you talk to him for me?” She said with her iconic excitement, turning to face [Name] as she owlishly blinked back at the girl, hands up in defense. “Uh uh don’t get me in your way of what your crush. I’m not even that helpful in these things!” She said with a giggle as they started to walk once again, passing an open classroom. Stealing a glance through the open door, she swore she saw a certain blonde and Indigo duo she hadn’t talked to in years, not counting the fact she saw them at the recent festival she went to with Nejire. With the sudden stop Nejire turned around, looking back at her with a confused look.

“[Name]? Hello did you hear me?” She asked , waving her hand in front of the girl as she snapped out of it, smiling nervously back at her friend calling her. “Huh? Oh yeah! I-I’m fine just got a little distracted” She said, waving off Nejire's side glance as she headed to their classroom. The periwinkle haired girl watched her friend with a pout, looking into the classroom as she saw her other two best friends. “Miri! Tama! Hey!!” She said , running into the classroom as she hugged them, Tamaki hating her loud appearance while Mirio blushed at the girls’ affection. “ Hey Neji, what’s up?” Mirio asked, color flushing his face, a thing his quiet friend noticed. With a nervous smile Nejire let go of the boys, giving them room as she laughed. “Nothing much, heading to class with [Name], what’re you guys doing? Are you guys ready for the class collab this afternoon?!” She started excitedly

Tamaki immediately looked up, eyes wide as he heard her name. ‘She is here, but why? Is she in the hero’s course too? Sigh...I wanna go home..I can’t face her..not yet’ He thought to himself. “Yep we sure are! I can’t wait to see her, is she really here? Where?!” Mirio jumped up , grabbing the shorter girl’s shoulders. “W-well we’re in class together! Class 2-A!” She said , a wild spread of color onto her cheeks settling in as she looked at the energetic blonde. “Tamaki let's go say hi! It’s been awhile since we saw her, I bet she’s happy to see us as much as we are to see her! Oh yeah, I can’t wait to ask her about the states, I wonder what she’s been up to!” Mirio said as he ran out of the room , headed to the neighboring one.

“Let’s go chicken heart!” Nejire turned to Tamaki, seeing the boy even gloomier than usual. “ Oh come on you knew her before I did! It’ll be fun, we can even be the big four!” She giggled as she tried to drag the elf ear boy along, a sigh falling from his lips. ‘Definitely a long day..’ he thought. “I’ll wait here Hado..I’ll talk to her later..” He said, pulling from the confused girl. “Aw come on, shell be happy to see you! Let’s go yeah?” Nejire begged to no avail, Tamaki already facing the wall in defeat. With a heavy sigh and pout she went after Mirio, leaving him to stew in his thoughts.

——————————

“So...you want to ask Hado out?” Tamaki started, looking to his usually ecstatic friend, a nervous look washing over his face. “Y-yeah..I dunno Tamaki, she’s something special. I can’t help the way my heart feels whenever she appears, her smile makes me warm, she's like a female me! Ah what can I say, I just feel..whole y'know? In a relationship way not saying that you don’t make me feel happy and whole too! Hey Tamaki! Stop looking like that!” Mirio said, finally turning to the boy after his confession, seeing his friend now looking intimidatingly at his lunch, chopsticks pulling apart the fried octopus in his meal.

“I dunno Mirio...are you sure you want to do this..? What if she..rejects you…?” The pessimistic boy said, looking over to his friend in concern. “Well...we’d just have to go back to being friends! No harm in that right?” Mirio said, happy as can be with a smile to Tamakis’ dismay. ‘How can someone be so happy all the time..’ he thought, hearing his friend explain how he’d confess to Nejire, but all he could think about is how to do the same for [Name]. ‘Oh bunny..I hope I could one day too..tell you how much you mean to me..’ Tamaki thought, looking up as the sun shined brightly.

————————

“Okay so I wanna confess to Miri” Nejire blurted out, halting a stretching [Name]. “You want to do WHAT?” [Name] said , a little louder than she hoped, seeing angry stares at her as she apologized, looking back at her friend. “ You really want to go to the next step huh?” She said soon sighing ”Do you...think you’re ready Neji? There's good AND bad that could come from this, I don’t want you getting your heart hurt if it doesn’t work out…” She said, looking back to the periwinkle haired girl , determination plastered onto her face. “ I have to [Name] , if I don’t I won’t be able to know if I really like him , so I can finally deal with this silly crush once and for all!” Nejire said, turning to look back at her lost friend. “Trust me , I’ll be okay..I need to do this. Next year is our last year together, and if we have a blossoming love into the ages I refuse to miss the opportunity!” She said, enthusiasm laced throughout her speech.

“I’ll text him now! Tell him there’s something I have to tell him” Nejire started, opening her phone as she typed vigorously, sending the text with a ’ping’ “Well alright..but I’m telling you now I’m no wingman!” [Name] said , following behind Nejire, who soon was squealing through the halls, starting to run towards the stairs. “He said yes [Name] , he said yes! He told me to come up to the rooftop! C'mon we have to hurry before class starts!” Nejire said, taking up the stairs. “Wait! Ugh love birds..” [Name] grumbled, speeding up to catch up to her.

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Twilight, when the sun and the moon meet in the middle to change, from night to day , day to night. I’m this cause however, love is blossoming in the mist of its glory

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Year 3, the final stretch until UAs’ finest become heroes in the world, men and women joining the social aspect of the world. But Tamaki knew it was a mock to that part in highschool, truly it being a ticking time bomb for him to confess his own feelings for his childhood best friend. The duo were currently headed for the workshop to get the updated gear they put in from the support class, both them excited to see the updates and new gear they ordered in. “Hey Tama, what did you think your hero gear looks like now? Ah I can’t wait! I hope now I don’t have to worry about tears and damaging me and my whole outfit!” [Name] said happily, rambling about her gear. Tamaki looked fondly at his energetic friend, his eyes sparkling as he took in her appearance.

The UA uniform hugging her in all the right places, her smile bringing a warmth to his heart. Her skin looked soft to the touch and her hair pinned and out of the way of her face, displaying her happy disposition. She soon looked up and met eyes with the shy boy as he soon turned red, stuttering out apologizes as he hid his face from the now giggling girl, her own face warming at noticing him staring at her. “Aw don’t be shy Tama! What’s up? Something wrong?” [Name] said, tilting her head to him as she leaned closer, which caused Tamaki to lean back from her and stutter even more which amused the girl even more. “ N-nothing s-stop teasing me bunny..” he whispered to the girl, turning even darker as he faced the wall , feeling his heart starting to speed, fluttering against his ribcage as the butterflies in his stomach rose up to meet his throat, the two mingling until they made a knot in the middle.

He tensed when [Name] wrapped her arms around his waist, tucking her face under his arm to look at him, a soft smile splayed on her face. “Tamaki. Talk to me, what's got you so flustered hm?” Her voice calmed him but also made him nervous as he finally turned around to her , with darkened cheeks and a shaking body , he grabbed her hands, holding them in his own as they both looked in eachothers eyes, each slowly moving towards the other when..

“Hey you two! Are you guys getting your gear too!?” They heard a loud happy voice yelling from down the hall, knowing it was a certain happy go lucky couple. Tamaki quickly released [Name] , both of them flustered as they didn’t look up to their friends, an awkward silence falling between them as they walked into the workshop.

————————————————

“Tamaki you really should tell her! I bet she’ll say yes, and if it's anything like what we saw last week it seems she’s really into you too!” Mirio said to his timid friend, the indigo haired boy in thought as he watched the girl he was practically in love with laughing and joking with his other best friend and Mirios’ girlfriend Nejire.”You remember how scared I was to tell Neji I liked her and it turned out she was coming to tell me the same thing! The way you and [Name] stared at each other until we were done confessing had meaning in it y'know?” Mirio looked over at Tamaki, the shy boy now glancing towards him.

With a deep breath he continued “I know when she left you were heartbroken Tamaki….” With that statement , Tamaki perked up to look at his blonde friend seeing him look at him with soft eyes “You’ve always been in love with her Tama, everyone could see it…” With a sigh , Tamaki started, opening and shutting his mouth but with no avail , nothing came out. Mirio smiled and continued his thoughts “ We all hoped you’d tell her soon, to at least see where it could go….All of us really, you two maka a great duo as heroes, and we all see the chemistry, inside and out of the ring. And you know Neji, once she gets her mind set on something she doesn’t give up until it happens.” He said , glancing to his periwinkle haired lover talking to [Name] , the other girls face flushing with color as Nejire continued to talk on and on , obviously giving their other friend the same talk he was doing up here.

“I’ll...talk to her” Tamaki finally spoke up, shocking his optimistic friend. “What? Really??” Mirio said , grabbing Tamaki's arm and shaking the now dejected boy. “That’s great Tama, I’ll let Nejire know! Y'know we were planning to go out and get some pre summer fun done before we get out of school and start our pro hero lives! Why don’t you tell her there?” Mirio said , giving Tamaki a thumbs up. “Sure..what’s worse than confessing to a crush but doing it in public…” Tamaki responded, walking towards the door of the roof with his excited friend beside him,texting his girlfriend the plans as they headed down to meet them. ‘ I hope this works...Bunny I hope you’ll feel the same too..’ He thought to himself, trying to be the most confident he could muster inside of him.

————————————————

Tamaki waited outside with Mirio outside of the girls dorm, the energetic blonde constantly trying to giving the pessimistic indigo advice of what to say and how to confess, but all he could think about was all the ‘what ifs’ and how this could go wrong. Just before he started to try and get out of something he thought could bring him more regret the main door opened, showing a happy Nejire and a shy [Name] hidden behind her.

“Sorry boys it took so long! [Name] and me had to get ready , wanted to look our best for you two!” Nejire said with a wink, walking over to kiss Mirio on the cheek.” Well you two look beautiful! Don’t they Tamaki?” He asked , seeing as his friend was disgraced by the girl in front him, mouth slightly agape. “H-huh! Oh y-yeah you both look n-nice..” He rambled out, turning from his crush in front of him, looking everywhere except to make eye contact with the girl in front of him “Aw Tama stop being like that! [Name] got all dressed up and pretty for you and you won’t even look at her!” Nejire said, smacking the timid boy in the back with her purse.

With a pout from Mirio telling her to give their shy friend time, the couple started walking, the two shy friends behind them following close behind.”Nejire“I-it’s okay! He’s just nervous is all!” She defended him as well, walking beside Tamaki and throwing him a small smile. “We better keep up, or Nejire will have your head at this rate!” She laughed as he let off a deep sigh, all of them heading to what Nejire called their “romantic getaway”. As they went up the hill, [Name] gasped happily, looking down at an early festival going on. “Guys come look! It looks like they’re having some type of festival going on!” She exclaimed and Nejire sat beside her, they both giggled with joy as they watched the people beneath them run and dance around happily as the festival continued. Soon Tamaki and Mirio joined them , sitting beside each girl as they watched on, the joy from the day settling into them all.

As the sun started to set, Nejire gently laid her head on Mirios shoulder, the blonde smiling down at his girlfriend as they started snuggling up to each other in the sunset, drifting asleep on one another.

“Ah looks like the two of them are starting to sleep” [Name] said softly, seeing as their lovebird friends were drifting off as the sun hung low in the horizon, everyone in the festival gathering as they collected fireworks to set off.

“Y-yeah..” Tamaki agreed softly, looking at the girl beside him, his heart skipping a beat as she was already glancing over to him, a smile grazing her lips.

“I’m glad we’re here, back together Tama...I..missed you a lot when I went back home..it wasn’t the same” [Name] said with a whisper. “I..didn’t want to leave you..it’s why I gave you that octopus, I guess that was sorta silly..trying to convey how I felt with a stuffed animal “ She let out a light sigh, shaking her head as she watched the sun slip away. Tamaki reached out for her hand causing the girl to snap her head towards him, seeing his cheeks flush.

“[N-name]...Bunny..I’ve always c-cared for you and y-you moving c-changed nothing..if anything I-it made me realize how m-much you mean to me..I think…no..I know I’m in love with you, and I-I’m hoping...t-that you..c-could maybe..” And before he had the chance to finish they heard the iconic pop of fireworks, the two of them turning to watch the array of lights, their hands intertwined. As the moon slipped up from being hidden under the horizon, Tamaki watched [Name] , a smile settling on his lips as the moon and fireworks making the girl seem lambent to him, inside and out.

“Bunny..” He called out to her and with a soft hum she turned to him , eyebrow raised. ‘It’s now or never..’ Tamaki thought to himself, standing up as he held out his hand to her. [Name] smiled and stood with him, holding his hand back as she tilted her head, eyes wandering between his.”B-be mine..?” He asked, almost so quiet he didn’t expect her to let out a held breath and with a gentle smile answered “I’ve always been yours”. With a shaky exhale of a breath he pulled her closer, closing the distance between them with a passionate kiss, savoring the first of many kisses together, under the moon and fireworks.

——————————————————

Bonus ♡ !! :

Later that night , the gang of Tamaki and [Name] headed back with Mirio and Nejire, all four of them sitting on the floor of Mirios’ dorm as they ate snacks until their dinner arrived. “ Okay so! What should we watch tonight?” Nejire asked, stuffing her face soon after with marshmallows. “Please Hado..don’t chew with your mouth open..” Tamaki whispered, laying his head on [Name]’s Lap as she played with his hair, a held snort coming out. “We have games too! Don’t forget!” She said in response , laughing at her periwinkle haired friend as she started to finish her bowl of gummy white marshmallows, smiling when she was done. “Okay okay, now! Games or a movie?” “Games.” Mirio interrupted , a smirk growing on his face. “Let’s make a bet , whoever loses has to help and serve the winners” With a huff, Nejire stood to her taller male counterpart, cheeks puffed “That’s why we’ll win! You’re on!” Tamaki let out a sigh of disappointment and [Name] couldn’t help but smile, kissing the cheeks of her new boyfriend. “ It'll be okay Tama, I’m here remember?” She said softly as he sat up from her lap , giving her a proper kiss “You are and I wouldn’t change this for anything. I love you bunny” Tamaki said , kissing her once more on the lips, their friend arguing background noise as she kissed him back with a sweet “I love you too Tama”

#amajiki tamaki #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #my very first fic!#and collab!#bnharem collab #my hero imagines #my hero academia #mha fanfiction #bnha writer #bnha

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houseof-harry · 4 years

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What Happens in Jersey | G.D.

A/N - hey guys! this is my first time posting anything I’ve written on tumblr so pls forgive me if it’s total shit. I’m super excited to hear any feedback and if you would be interested in a second part or something!!!

Word count: 5K

Warnings: smut

Summary - Y/N is in New Jersey with her college friend for the week of New Years. She takes a particular liking to Grayson Dolan, but only plans for it to be a one time thing. But things never go as planned.

It would be safe to say you were a bit of a nomad. You had grown up in a small town and decided to go to college far away from there. Once you left, your parents wanted out too. However, you never had any interest in sitting in the middle of the mountains with them while you were on breaks, so you found yourself bouncing around from place to place, never really staying with anyone for more than a couple of weeks.

That’s how you ended up in New Jersey with your best friend from school. Jessie was kind enough to let you stay with him the last few weeks of your winter break. You were excited because after spending time with your whole family, you would finally be able to just hang out with your friends again. Or Jessie’s friends, rather.

You and Jessie were seniors this year, and you had no idea where post-graduation would take you. That’s why you’re soaking up every minute with him while you can. His friends were all super welcoming of you and have made you feel like you were meant to be there with them all the time. After hanging out with them all week, you were exciting to be spending New Year’s Eve with them, too.

“Do you know what you’re going to wear for New Year’s yet?” Jessie asks, pulling you from your train of thought.

“No, I still have to go through what I brought with me. How fancy do you guys usually go?”

“It’s pretty casual. The girls wear jeans and a cute top, nothing crazy. I’m gonna wear jeans and a t-shirt.” He shrugs, looking back down at his phone. You walk over to your bag to look for the perfect top. You were hoping that one of his friends would finally make a pass at you, so you wanted to dress the part. Not just any of his friends, though. Grayson Dolan specifically.

Grayson had been particularly nice to you since you’d come to town. You hoped you weren’t reading into it too much and that he was actually interested because if you were being honest, it had been a minute since you’d had any action. That’s all you needed. No strings, not even a second night together. Just something to end the dry spell that came along with the stress of trying to graduate college.

You pulled out a gold sequined top. It showed plenty of chest without being too scandalous and always looked good paired with the black jeans you had packed. You pulled the jeans out along with a pair of heels and got Jessie’s attention.

“Do you think this’ll look good?” You ask him, looking down at the outfit and then back up at him.

“Yeah, that top always looks good on you. Who’re you trying to impress?” He jokes, already knowing the answer. Jessie is always up to date on your romantic life (or lack of one), and could tell immediately that you had taken a liking to Grayson. He seemed to think Grayson had taken a similar liking to me, which is the whole reason you have your hopes up in the first place.

“You know why.” You roll your eyes and put the clothes on top of your bag.

“He’s gonna go crazy for you in that, don’t worry.” Jessie let out a bit of a sigh before you stood up.

“I’m gonna take a shower. Movie after before we go to bed?” You ask.

“Sure.” He responds, not looking up from his phone.

You go to the bathroom, ignoring the frown that seemed to be on his face.

***

You were finishing putting on your mascara when Jessie walks into the room.

“Ready to go?” He asks you while looking at himself in the mirror, adjusting his shirt.

“I guess so.” You finish and put your makeup away, standing up and twirling around. “How’s the finished look?”

He gives my body a once over, his eyes lingering on the shape of my body. “Good,” is all he says.

“Just good?”

“Y/N, you always look amazing, you know what I meant.” He rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, let’s go.” You say, choosing to ignore his gesture with his eyes. You walk down the stairs and outside, grabbing your jacket on the way. Ethan and Grayson are waiting outside in their car. When they see you approach, Ethan opens the window to greet you guys.

“There they are. Ready for a new year?” He asks as you approach.

“More than you know.” You smile at him and Jessie opens the back door. You climb in and slide over so he can get in too. You shiver and close your jacket more, holding it tight to your body. Grayson smiles at you guys through the rear-view mirror and that’s it. Maybe you had been reading too far into his kindness.

“Whose house are we going to again?” You ask.

“Drew’s. His parents are at their friend’s house in Rhode Island,” Jessie says. You nod, clearly not remembering which one Drew is. “The one who goes to Penn State,” he clarifies.

“Oh, right.” You smile at him.

The car falls quiet for a while, which is unusual for you and Jessie and you can only assume it’s even more odd for Ethan and Grayson, but you guess everyone is tired and needs a moment of silence before entering the hectic last couple of hours of this year.

“We’re almost there,” Ethan says as he turns into a residential area. It feels like he’s trying to calm the weird tension in the car, but you don’t know why it’s so awkward to start.

Before you can question it further, Ethan pulls up behind a bunch of other cars parked on the street and he turns the car off. You hop out on Grayson’s side and shut the door. You both wait for the other boys to walk around the side of the car before you head down the street.

“So, you’re not gonna drink?” You ask Grayson, who you had fallen into step next to.

“I haven’t decided yet. Ethan probably won’t, though, that’s why we offered to drive you and Jess in the first place.” He gives you a smile and you nod back.

“I can’t lie, after my New Year’s Eve record I probably should chill too.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Maybe I won’t drink much tonight, either. It would be cool to remember the beginning of this year.”

Grayson laughs while rubbing his mouth with his hand. “Do you not remember the past few New Year’s?”

“Not fully, no. I’m not even a crazy drinker, but there’s something about New Year’s that makes me want tequila like it’s water. And tequila never ends well.” You shudder, thinking about all the times it’s done you wrong.

“Yeah, maybe it’s more of a champagne year for you.” He nudges you with your shoulder.

“Maybe you’re right.” You nod as you walk into the house.

***

It’s safe to say it was not just a champagne night for you. You were 5 shots in at 11 pm when you decided to cool it. Well, cool it the best you could. You weren’t trashed but you also definitely weren’t sober.

“How’s your champagne?” Grayson walks over to you while you’re sitting on the couch alone, watching everyone else interact.

“Unless champagne has started to taste like tequila, then not very good.” You laugh at your own joke, covering your mouth. He laughs as well, and you can’t tell if it’s with you or at you.

“Do you think you’ll remember tonight?” He raises his eyebrow, sipping from his own cup.

“Oh yeah, I’m about half as drunk as I was last year. I think the issue is that tequila makes me way too brave, one shot or ten” you sigh, looking at him. He looks good tonight. His long hair really suits his sharp facial features. His light facial hair makes him look a bit older than he is, but in a good way. A hot way. And his lips look pink and soft, and you could just lean up and kiss them if you really wanted to. You shake your head as if that will physically remove the thoughts from your brain.

“What?” He giggles, watching your every move.

You’re looking at him with your mouth open now. You can see the flush of his cheeks and the drowsiness of his eyes. You gasp. “Are you drunk?”

He stutters for a moment and you grab the cup from his hand, giving it a sniff.

“Is this a vodka soda?” You give it a sip, feeling the bubbles of the soda go down your throat with the bite of the vodka mixed with it. “Living on the wild side tonight, I see. Is Ethan still good?” You laugh, handing him his cup back.

“Ethan is not in the most sober state, either. And you know Jessie is already messed up. I think we might all just sleep here, if that’s okay.” His eyes scan the room before he slumps back, unable to find his brother or his friend. You lean back right next to him, your shoulders touching.

“Yeah, that’s okay. You’re gonna have to steal clothes from Drew for me to sleep in, though.” You look at his side profile, scanning his face. He really did look good tonight. You see his cheeks heat up a bit more.

“What’re you looking at?” He asks, now turning to face you, too.

“Your cheeks get really red when you’re tipsy.” You giggle, poking his cheek. His nose is almost so close you could touch it with yours.

“It’s not because of the vodka.” He says rather confidently. You raise your brow.

“Oh yeah? What is it then?”

“The pretty girl sitting next to me on the couch.” He turns to face forwards again with a bit of a smirk, sipping from his cup again. You can feel heat rushing to your face and chest. His eyes drift over to you again. “Clearly it happens to you too.” He sounds a bit victorious in his declaration, and you don’t know if it’s your brain or the tequila that tells you what to say next.

“Kiss me.” You blurt out and then quickly cover your mouth. Yeah, it was definitely the tequila who said it.

He sucks in a breath and looks at you again, his eyes dark. “It’s only 11:30, you’re gonna have to wait another half hour for that.” With that, he stands and walks back into his group of friends, leaving you shocked on the couch.

***

Everything past midnight is a blur. Not because of the extra tequila shot you took after your conversation with Grayson, but because of the kiss he gave you after the countdown. It was hot, needy, and purposeful. It didn’t take long after that for everyone to decide where they were sleeping and settle down. Most people were too drunk to even care if they slept in a bed or not. Jessie told you he would get a guest bed for you to share, but you don’t even remember where he said to go because Grayson was looking at you from across the room and everything else disappeared. You nodded at Jessie so that he’d walk away and you could finally go talk to the man whose consumed your mind all night.

“Excited for your sleepover with Jessie?” He asks sarcastically while keeping the charming smile on his face still.

You shrug. “I mean I guess. There’s a different sleepover I’d be more excited for, though.” You do your best to keep your gaze at him innocent while you bite your lip.

“Oh yeah? Which one is that?” He moves to stand next to you as if to survey the room to see who you want to be in bed with tonight.

“Oh my god you’re really gonna make me say it out loud, aren’t you?” You laugh, crossing your arms and turning to look at him again.

“Say what? I’m just an innocent man trying to help a pretty girl out.” He does his best to hide smile but fails. This is the second time he’s called you pretty tonight, and it is definitely the second time it has made you feel butterflies.

“Shut up and show me where you’re sleeping.” You nudge him with your shoulder.

“Unfortunately, I think Ethan and I are being forced to sleep on the living room couch together.” He rubs the back of his head, his confidence faltering for a second.

“Well then that’s what bathrooms are for, right?” You sound hopeful while trying not to be desperate. You don’t want to sound too needy before he’s even taken your pants off.

He smirks at you, putting his hand on the small of your back to start guiding you up the stairs. “You read my mind.” Before you know it, he’s opening the door to a large bathroom and letting you go in first.

You look at your surroundings, taking in the fancy bathroom décor that you thought was unnecessary but still nice. Grayson stood behind you, watching you look around the room. “Are we here to admire the shell soap?” He chuckles.

You turn to him. “What, you don’t think it’s cute?” You giggle, picking up one of the shells to hold between you two.

“I mean sure, but I’ve got my eye on something else in here.” He wraps one hand around your waist, turning you both to face the mirror. You can feel his bulge when you press back against him, looking into his eyes through the mirror.

“Is it the seahorse soap dispenser?” You bite your lip and put the shell pack where you grabbed it from.

“You’re really gonna make me say it out loud?” He mocks you, a humorous glint in his eyes.

You put your arms over his one on your abdomen. “I guess you didn’t make me.” You smile, turning in his grasp. You put both your hands on his shoulders while leaning back on the counter. Grayson puts his hands on your hips, taking a step closer to you. You can feel his warm breath on your face as you are forced to tilt your head up more to keep eye contact with him.

“I can still say it if you really wanna hear it.” He leans closer to you, nipping at your ear. You take in a breath, waiting for him to continue. “I’ve got my eye on the pretty little thing that I plan to fuck on this counter until she forgets what year it is.”

This instantly makes you giggle. “It works in your favor it’s a new year, I already forgot about it.”

“Now that I’ve reminded you, let’s make you forget again.” And that’s when you knew you were fucked in the best way possible. His lips dragged along your jaw to your mouth, kissing you like you were the only girl in the world. You fully wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him flush against you as he kisses you deep and hard. His hands travel down to your ass, pulling your center as close to him as possible. After he gives you a squeeze he brings one of his hands around to start unbuttoning your jeans. You pull your mouth away from his for a moment, leaving both of you breathless.

“You’re okay with this, right? You’re not too messed up right now or anything?” He asks as he rests his forehead on yours. Your hands go down his shoulders to rub his arms. A smile manages to show up on your face.

“Yeah, I’m good. Are you?”

He laughs before looking back you. “More than good.” And with that he’s kissing you again.

Grayson does his best to finish unbuttoning your pants while still keeping your lips connected. Once he is successful, he breaks away from you to go down and take your heels off. He struggles a bit with the straps, making your giggle.

“It’s not as easy as it looks, huh?” You tease him, lifting your foot when he finally gets one off.

“That was fucking stupid,” he groans, already focusing on your other shoe. He manages to slip that one off quicker than the last, his hands now eagerly going into the loops of your jeans to pull them off as well.

Before you know it, he’s standing between your legs again and his lips are moving along your neck, his hands holding your hips in place. You tilt your head back to give him more room to work his lips, gripping his biceps. Grayson takes a second to breathe, his breath heating your skin up as you think about what he’s going to do to you. He takes this moment to remove your shirt over your head.

When he was met with your bare skin, his eyes popped out of his head. “Here’s to starting the new year off right,” he laughs, barely giving you a second to react to what he said before your nipple was in his mouth. You head falls back as you let out a quiet moan, gripping the back of his head. He moves one of his hands to roll your neglected nipple between his fingers, causing you to moan again but louder this time. “Gotta stay quiet, pretty girl,” he mumbles against your chest.

“Sorry, just feels good,” you breathe out, closing your eyes.

“Pull on my hair when it feels good,” he mumbles, slowly moving to his knees in between your legs. This makes you roll your head forward to watch as he takes in the wet spot covering your center. “How long have you been thinking about me?” He smirks at you.

“Are you gonna question it or are you gonna do something about it?” You giggle, securing your hand in the back of his hair, pushing him forward and closer to your core.

“You’re right, I’ll take what I can get,” he huffs out onto your inner thigh, leaving light kisses there. If he was being honest, he hadn’t gotten any in a while either. Grayson was just as eager as you to be with you like this. That’s why he didn’t waste any time swiping his tongue over your slit, still being able to taste you despite the layer of lace between you two. He lets out a guttural moan, loving the fact he was between your legs right now. He wasted no time in tapping your thighs to get you to lift yourself up enough for him to take your panties off. As the cold air hits you, your legs instantly try to shut. Grayson tisks, shaking his head and pushing you wide open, gripping your thighs tightly with his calloused hands.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, his eyes not leaving your pussy.

“We don’t have to do that whole thing if you don’t wanna,” you mumble, your cheeks heating up.

“What whole thing?” Grayson looks up at you, confused.

“You don’t have to compliment me and stuff,” you look away from him, starring at the wall.

“Hey, look at me,” he squeezes your leg, his eyes soft when you meet them again. “Everything I say, I mean. And I’m saying it because I want to, not because I think you wanna hear it,” he smiles up at you. You take a second to breathe, not expecting to hear that from him. No guy you had slept with had ever been so considerate before. Hell, none of them had ever been ready to eat you out.

You let out a flustered, “thanks,” before his focus was back on your core. He licks slowly up from your hole to your clit, making you grip his hair a bit harder already. He focuses on your clit, sucking and licking it like it’s his last meal. It takes everything in you not to moan loudly, but you manage to just breathe harder instead. Grayson moves one of his hands to your slit, his fingers running up and down while he continues to lap at your clit. It’s when he slides one of his fingers in when you let out a whine, gripping his hair so hard he can’t help but let out a groan of his own. He pumps his finger in and out slowly, making you go crazy. “More, faster, anything,” you breathe out, shifting your hips around.

Grayson removes his lips from you while continuing the movement of his finger. He looks up at you. “Feeling greedy, pretty girl?” He smirks as he stands up, removing finger and causing you to pout. It hits you how he is still completely dressed while you’re totally naked.

“Take your clothes off,” you bite your lip, ignoring his comment. Your own hand goes between your legs, rubbing over your clit gently.

Grayson’s eyes bug out while he watches your movement, before he snaps out of it and pulls his shirt off over his head. He quickly throws it down and begins to work at his pants as you start to squirm. All of a sudden, he stops, his pants around his knees. “Do you have a condom?”

“Me? No. You don’t?” You ask, your fingers slowing as reality begins to hit you.

“Are you on the pill?” He asks hopefully.

You look away for a moment, not really sure what to say. Of course you were, but you don’t know this kid. Raw dogging it on the first date isn’t really your style. Hell, this isn’t even a date.

“I’m clean,” he brings you back to reality, reading your thoughts. You lean back, deciding on what’s best to say next.

“I don’t know that for sure. And how do you know I’m clean?” You ask.

“Let’s make a deal. If we end up catching anything from each other, the person who caused it pays for whatever treatment the other needs,” he holds his hand out, ready to shake on it. You look at him like he’s crazy. “I know I’m not giving you anything, and as long as you’re as confident as me, you should be shaking my hand right about now.”

You hesitate before taking his hand in yours and shaking it twice before pulling him back between your legs. You push his underwear down to where his pants are, your jaw dropping when his dick finally comes out. You assumed he would be well endowed, but nothing like this. What if it didn’t fit?

He chuckles deeply, as if he can read your mind again. “Is that a good look of fear?”

“Definitely,” you giggle, looking up at him as you lick your hand before wrapping it around his base, pumping up and down a couple of times.

“Oh fuck,” he whines, gripping your thighs and closing his eyes for a minute. “No, no. Gonna fuck you,” he grips your wrist, taking your hand off him. Both of your hands move behind you as you lean back a bit, waiting for him to take charge again. Grayson wraps his hand around himself so that he can drag his tip up and down your slit. Before you can get used to the feeling he’s pushing in and you’re groaning. Loudly. So Grayson does what his instincts tell him to and he covers your mouth with his hand.

He leans in and whispers in your ear, “is this okay?” You nod as he bottoms out. Your eyes clamp shut as you take a second to adjust. His free hand moves to your thigh, rubbing It gently.

“Ready?” He asks and you nod again. He pulls out almost completely before slamming his hips back into you, making your eyes roll back into your head. He was stretching you out in the most delicious way, and Grayson felt it too. Your walls were hugging him so tightly, your juices dripping down onto the counter. He rests his forehead on yours, hand still clamped over your mouth as he does everything in his power not to moan. You just felt really good, he hasn’t felt this good in a long time.

His hand moves from your thigh to your clit while he continues to move in and out at a quick pace. Sweat begins to drip down his forehead, mixing with the sweat collecting on yours. You can feel his dick nudging that special spot inside you on every thrust and it’s overwhelming. You’re whining into his hand, breathing hard out of your nose. He’s still rubbing your clit at the same pace he’s fucking you and it’s the best combination. Your breathing quickens and he moves his mouth close to your ear. “You gonna cum?” You nod profusely, your toes curling as your heels dig into his ass to make sure he goes as deep as he can.

It feels like a wave of pleasure crashing over you when you finally cum. Your legs are shaking around Grayson’s waist as groans come from deep within your throat. He can feel you clenching around him, your juices continuing to flow out of you around him. He can feel it on his balls as it drips out of you and it makes his eyes roll into the back of his head. Soon he’s pulling out of you, the hand that was once covering your mouth going to his dick as his cum covers your stomach. You both sit there unmoving, just trying to catch your breaths. You rest back on your hands as you giggle a bit, finally looking at him.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks. This makes your cheeks even more red than they already were. No one had been concerned about you after you already finished sex. It was kind of nice.

“Really good,” you sigh out. “You?” You watch as he gets some tissues and he starts wiping his cum off you.

He smiles. “Really good,” he nods along as he finishes cleaning you up. When he goes to throw the tissues out, you laugh because he has to waddle due to his pants still being half on. You’re sliding off the counter when you have to hold the edges to not fall over. He turns to look at you confused. “What?”

“You never even got your pants off.”

He looks down and chuckles, pulling his pants back up, but not buttoning them. “Guess I didn’t.”

You start to pick up your clothes when you pause. You had nothing to sleep in here, and you weren’t about to sleep in the shirt and jeans you came in. Jessie would probably be down to give you his shirt, but he was also probably asleep.

“Here,” he hands his shirt to you. You look up at him for a second before you reach for the shirt.

“Thanks,” you smile at him, putting your clothes back down and slipping the shirt over your head. It barely hit the top of your thighs, but it’s better than walking around totally naked. You slip your panties on under the shirt. Grayson stands there a bit awkwardly, watching you get dressed. You grab your shirt and hand it out to him with a smirk on your face. “Wanna sleep in this?”

Grayson laughs and shakes his head. “Something tells me that would be uncomfortable,” he eyes the sequins, shivering while imagining them against his skin.

You giggle and nod, gathering your jeans and shoes into your hands. “You’re right, it’s not.”

You bite your lip, unsure if you should just say goodbye and dip or what. Grayson interrupts these thoughts when he steps up to you, grabbing your chin and kissing you one more time before he says, “I should probably head to bed.”

You nod in agreement. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

“You were…this was…I enjoyed that,” he laughs. You smile at him as he walks out. You look out the door to make sure no one is there before you start opening every door to find where Jessie is. You slide into the bed as quietly as possible and fall right asleep.

***

Ethan and Grayson had left by the time you got up. One of Jessie’s other friends drove you guys home once you were ready to leave. Life went on as normal after that.

You and Jessie went back to school. Every semester feels like a nice fresh start, even with the sadness knowing it was your last. You and your friends at school were making every minute of it. Which is why you were disappointed when you were feeling under the weather a couple of weeks into it. You woke up every morning feeling fatigued and nauseous. You assumed it was the school work getting to you. Four years and you’d think you’d be better equipped to deal with the stress.

However, when you started throwing up every morning, you panicked. You throw up once in a blue moon. You have a stomach of steel. When that lasted for an entire week, you decided to go to the clinic. They ask all the usual questions, including if you think you’re pregnant. You tell them there’s a minimal chance but they decide to test you anyway just to be sure.

When the doctor walks back in, they have a smile on their face. “Your pregnancy test came back positive.”

Suddenly you felt nauseous again, but not like all the previous mornings. How could you be pregnant? He pulled out, you’re on birth control. And that’s when you remember. You didn’t take it a for a couple days after New Year’s Eve because you had run out of your current pack and your next pack was at school. You hadn’t noticed your missed period because your birth control had made it almost non-existent to start.

The doctor continues to speak but you only hear the blood rushing through your ears as pure panic sets in. You don’t even have Grayson’s number. He’s a fucking LA YouTuber, he wasn’t even on the same coast as you. You weren’t even friends.

As soon as you get out of the doctor, you call Jessie.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?”

You’re blinking back the tears as you walk to your car. “I need to tell you something.”

***

Read part 2 here!

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subtlereferencetomyinterests · 4 years

Text

Master Post

My Master Post for Sanders Sides fanfiction! These are arranged chronologically from newest to oldest, measured by the date they were completed and uploaded in full, so that will reflect the quality here. (there’s a ton more under the cut btw).

Fast Friends - ao3... (15k Remus-centric intruality, lopsided enemies to friends to lovers, humor and a bit of angst with a happy ending. tw; emetophobes beware!) Patton doesn't like Remus, until one day, he does! Well, Remus isn't buying it. So Remus is not about to be friends with him just because he wants to (no matter how much it maybe, kind of wouldn't mind that).

I’m Not Sorry - ao3... (6k remus-centric intrulogical. continuation of Did You Miss Me. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.) Remus just wanted to get home safe to his wonderful, loving boyfriend. If some greaseball guy thinks he can screw that up, then Remus is perfectly willing to let the night take a turn for the vengeful.

Redamancy - ao3... (5k romantic prinxiety, fluffy friends to lovers with a smidgen of misunderstanding.) Virgil is undoubtedly excited about Nico. The thing is, that’s not the only person he’s excited about.

Did You Miss Me? - ao3... (13k romantic intrulogical, unhealthy relationship and mutual stalking treated light-heartedly. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat). Logan and Remus haven’t spoken in years. But that doesn’t stop them from keeping up with each other, through... various means.

The Down (and up)-side of Individual Expression - ao3... (8k romantic logince, angst w/ a happy ending, prosey and dealing w/ some kinda touchy subject matter vis a vis body image). As the sides have taken on vastly differing appearances over the years, Roman and Logan find themselves incredibly attracted in body and mind to each other. The issue is, Logan still has some trouble believing it.

Tree Bark and Fresh Fruit - ao3... (Fusion AU part six! romantic royality fusion returns for some prose and a lil bit of h/c). Patron doesn't come around often, getting lost in the excitement of Patton and Roman's new romantic relationship- so when she gets a shot to exist again, he's determined to make the most of it by figuring out just what the heck he's supposed to be.

Bitter Licorice and Bright-Blue Bubblegum - ao3... (Fusion AU part five! analogical fusion is back!) Logan and Virgil end up fusing much more regularly, much to Livril's satisfaction at getting to exist, and virtually every other side's chagrin at having to put up with them. Everyone, it seems, but Patton.

Scary Monsters and Family Bonds - ao3... (Fusion AU part four! Platonic anxceitmus with romantic dukeceit, short and mostly meaningless.) Rennet, freshly born like five seconds ago, is desperate to find some people to bother and/or amaze. But instead, Rennet finds an attachment that nobody quite expected to be so intense, but hey, it's not complaining, and neither is Virgil.

Acceptable Behavior - ao3... Remus is surprisingly concerned about his boyfriend's boundaries. (short & sweet intruality drabble. p/ much just cuddling)

On Truth and Untruth - ao3... Janus is allowed to participate in the group, and that is more than enough for them. Not too bad of a change up, really, and they aren't going to complain about it any time soon. Patton, however, insists on throwing a wrench into their system- their perfectly functioning, if maybe hypothetically a bit lonely, system. (28k word janus-centric romantic moceit and platonic dlampr, lots of angst and lots of yearning, with a happy ending. something of a character study.)

I Taste Honey but I Haven’t Seen the Hive - Chap.1, Chap.2, Chap.3, Chap.4, Chap.5, Chap.6, Chap.7, Chap.8, Chap.9 - ao3... (Finished!) Patton doesn't think of himself as misunderstood. More accurately, he's not very good at explaining himself. Remus explains himself perfectly well, succinct, confident. People are just bad at listening. Patton is lonely. He'd never say it out loud. No one knows. Remus is lonely. He says it in everything he does. No one knows. They're similar. They're different as can be. Contradictory, maybe; complimentary, definitely. They could be good for each other- they just need to explain it right. (hurt/comfort, eventual queer-platonic intruality, a healthy amount of angst).

Sharp Spikes and Glamour - ao3... (part three of my Fusion AU! a little angstier and racier than the others, but that’s thanks to the dukeceit dynamic, and its nothing too bad). Now, just a month ago, Remus could very confidently say that his and Janus’ relationship was perfect. And it still was, really, but that was before Roman and Patton had pulled some cartoon fusion bullshit that exactly no one had known was possible. There was no question. Remus was going to learn to do that.

Squishy, Precious Lil’ Baby! - ao3... Very short, platonic intruality fluff. Remus turns into a rat for a scare, but Patton is very unafraid of him in the new form.

Black Cloth and Star Systems - ao3... (Almost 4k fluff, part two of my Fusion AU! Very heavy on the descriptions, and also the Love that these two Have.) After Patton and Roman fuse, Logan can't help but feel desperately curious about this new discovery, and the possibilities of fusion between sides. But, his interest is a little more personal than he could stand to admit... Because what if- what if he could try it, too?

more under the cut

Flare Up - ao3... Human au drabble. Romantic sleepxiety. They are soft and in the rain.

Soft Walls and Roses - ao3... (Part one of my Fusion AU! Fluffy, sweet, and prose-y. Abt 3k.) On a nice, cheery day, Roman and Patton get a little lost in a dance <3.

Communication Issues (Alternative Title: Three Touch-Starved, Insecure, Metaphysical Beings Constantly Misinterpreting Each Other and Yet Somehow Falling in Love)- Chap.1, Chap.2, Chap.3, Chap.4 + Epilogue - ao3... (Finished!) What do you do when you find someone crying, and it’s all your fault? What do you say when you hear the muffled sobs and frantic words behind the blood-red door? When you know that, no matter how much you never wanted to hurt him- never wanted to hurt anyone- you still did. Is there anything you can do to fix it, when you’ve spent so long pretending that nothing was broken? When you’ve spent so long pretending that you didn’t care if things were broken or not? (Second Person, Present Tense. H/C slowburn. romantic analogince. Note: this is not an ‘x reader’ fic, it’s just 2nd person pov.)

A Study in the Pains of Romance as a Genre - ao3... Logan wasn’t 'insecure', by most measures. Sure, he wasn't exactly in love with himself, but he knew the harm that came of self-deprecation, and was careful to avoid it. At the worst of times, he could solidly be called 'self-neutral'. Therefore, it followed that Logan was being entirely objective when he said that he would not be a good enough romantic partner for Roman. (Friends to Lovers, abt 4k, romantic logince).

I Like You, Say It Back. - ao3... Short, sweet, slightly angsty first ‘I Love You’ between Virgil and Remus. romantic dukexiety.

A Misplaced Imbalance of Fear - ao3... almost 7k friends to lovers fastburn, in that this happens in a day. Set during/right after Putting Others First, a little peak into what Virgil and Remus were doing. Hint; being a little sad and very gay. romantic dukexiety.

The Ballroom - ao3... Every side has a room, but they also come with a special domain, completely individualized to each one. Of these Extensions, the only room that no side (other than its owner) has ever seen is Janus’. At least, until he falls head-over-heels for Roman and finally lets him in. (romantic roceit).

Hypothetically, - ao3... Nearly 7k friends to lovers, with a hearty helping of platonic logince. Logan likes to use the Imagination for experiments, but he can’t manage to use it on his own. The solution is obvious. (romantic intrulogical).

No Other Version of Me - ao3... Patton isn’t very happy about his new froggy features, but Janus finds him gorgeous all the same. Hurt/comfort! romantic moceit.

Complexities Unknowable- Chap.1, chap.2, chap.3, chap.4, chap.5, chap.6, chap.7 - ao3... (Finished!) Slowburn with pre-established Dukeceit, rivals to friends to lovers, with Background Analogince (plus some platonic anxceit and Creativitwins thrown in for funsies). romantic deintruality.

I’d Like To Stand By Him - ao3... Roman and Virgil listen to each other’s playlists. romantic prinxiety.

An Open and Honest Conversation About Our Feelings - ao3... hurt/comfort, shamelessly self-indulgent. Patton doesn’t come out of his room all day, so Virgil goes to check up on him. romantic moxiety.

Something to Uplift Us - ao3... Roman-centric (and Remus-centric) DLAMPR (platonic Creativitwins!). Quarantine shenanigans; the boys put on a show for their boyfriends!

Thursday Nights - ao3... Short fluff where Remus and Patton watch a horror flick together and cuddle. romantic intruality.

5 Times Logan Helped His Partners Get Their Shit Together +1 Time They Returned The Favor - ao3... Summary’s in the title on this one, Bud. Logan-centric romantic DLAMPR (platonic p & r), very hurt/comfort.

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another-sonic-blog · 4 years

Text

By Accident Ch.2

Part one: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/618876056624054272/how-about-one-where-amy-discovers-shadow-in-stasis

This chapter's synopsis: After waking up Shadow from stasis, Amy and the black hedgehog spend some time together before going to see the Federal Reservation Bank, home to a Chaos Emerald. However, the longer Shadow spends time with Amy the more he realizes that he is having conflicted feelings about destroying Earth. This leads him to a final resolution.

ShadAmy (Platonic/Romantic it's up to you)

The sun began to rise as it helped the sky decorate its blue canvas with soft pastel colors. Flowers bloomed as they began to be touched by sunlight, they detached a sweet aroma that could even be smelled by the unskilled nose.

Shadow the Hedgehog looked outside the window from Amy's apartment where he could see people coming out of their houses, ready to start a new day. There was a new unknown feeling that was taking over his body. He wasn't tense, his body completely relaxed and although he didn't sleep he didn't feel tired ... He was at a complete state of tranquility. Something that he wasn't used to since leaving in the Space Colony ARK. Constant test, needles coming in and out of him, Xrays, and overexerting his body in every possible way was an everyday item to him. Although there were very loving and caring scientists at the ARK, not everyone was. Must of them saw Shadow for the living weapon that he was, nothing more and nothing less. Even Professor Gerald Robotnik saw him as such but instead of a weapon, he saw Shadow as a cure. The Ultimate Life Form, his body was perfect in every sense of the world. Undefeatable.

All the power in the world and he couldn't save the only person he truly cared for.

The black hedgehog looked at the people walking underneath him. So small and fragile but still a smile plastered on their faces. How could they be happy when their race only seeks for destruction? How can they be happy when they can only feel hate towards each other? Humanity was rotten from the very pinnacle of its core and Shadow wanted nothing more but its demise.

How can they be happy when they took away the person he loved the most?

Even with the pain, hate, and suffering inside of him ... Shadow didn't want to do it. He didn't want to destroy this pathetic planet but ...

He will do it.

The promise he made to Maria is more important than Shadow's conflicted feelings. Maria wanted revenge and for all that's sacred, Shadow was going to give it to her.

"Shadow?"

His moment of rage was broken as Shadow heard the sleepy voice of the pink hedgehog who opened the doors of her house to him. Shadow reminded himself that he shouldn't get attached to anyone, especially Amy who seemed to have her way into people's hearts ... quiet easily. However, Shadow couldn't deny that the pink hedgehog has come in handy to him. She cooks for him, gives him a roof and-

"Are you alright? Did you sleep?"'

She gives him company.

Something he didn't need nor want but it was greatly appreciated. It was going to be complicated to destroy the world she seemed to love so much, Amy will probably hate him when she finds out ... if she ever does. Shadow will try to keep the destruction of the world a secret for as long as he can. At least until he makes sure Amy is safe at the ARK and that's if she wants to come along with him.

"You know that I don't need to sleep," Shadow said still looking outside the window. A heavy sigh left Shadow's lips as if he was letting out all the anger that built up inside of him just a few moments ago. Once again he felt tranquil. "I'll be fine ... soon enough."

There were a lot of moments in which Amy questioned Shadow and if she was being completely honest there was doubt within her. The pink one knew that Shadow was hiding something. However, she decided to let the feeling go. He was just a mysterious hedgehog who wanted to go home, nothing wrong with that. Amy could trust him and she will.

"I'll cook something and then we can go to the Federal Reserve Bank of Capital City." Amy walked towards the black hedgehog. Again, she could notice that same sad look. Full of anger, pain ... If there was a way Amy could console him, she would. But how? There was a wall around him, one where there was no way she could climb up nor go underneath. Nonetheless, she was stubborn as well. It didn't matter how long nor how many hits it took, she was going to break down Shadow's wall.

Federal Reserve Bank?" Shadow asked this time he was facing the pink hedgehog.

"That's where the Chaos Emerald is."

Shadow thought that it was just a matter of eating breakfast and getting to the place where the Chaos Emerald is located. However, it seemed like the pink hedgehog had other things in mind. She took him to places that he only had seen in magazines and books back at the ARK. Places that Maria always wanted to visit.

"When I get better we definitely need to go to a shopping center! I wanna buy cute clothes and ice cream!"

"Shadow, once we go down to Earth we should go to a park! It would be nice to race against you!"

Something was screaming in Shadow's mind, telling him to tell the pink lady to stop playing around. What surprised him the most was his level of patience, he was supposed to be completing his plan to destroy the world but instead here he was. Following a pink girl around to sightsee.

It was late afternoon now, the sun once again helps paint the blue sky with pastel colors. The only difference was this time the color palette was darker. Purples and blues showed up and Shadow mentally smacked his forehead already disappointed that he might lose this day.

Maybe he could sneak outside during the night while Amy is asleep. But what if she wakes up and doesn't find him? Will she suspect him?

And what if she does? What does that matter to him? Shadow needed to continue his plan to destroy the world, that was the only thing that mattered to him now.

"Are you enjoying yourself Shadow?" Amy asked as she looked over at the black hedgehog with a smile on herself.

"No."

"Oh ..."

Chaos gracious, Shadow doesn't even know where to start with this one. He regretted being so upfront with her even if he was speaking up his real feelings.

"My apologies, it's just that I am desperate to get a Chaos Emeralds."

Although Shadow wasn't looking directly at the people, he felt the presence of humans passing by them. Some looked, some didn't care and to be fully honest Shadow never thought he would be walking around with humans as normal as this. On the vast streets that were filled with cars, cafes, restaurants, lights, and all of these mechanical things he quite didn't understand ... yet. He was never fond of the loud sounds but this was quite amusing to him.

"No, I am sorry," Amy said. "I know you want to get home and to do that you need the Chaos Emerald but ... I don't know I just thought that maybe you would like to sightsee before you go? I also wanted to spend some time with you before we parted ways ..."

When Amy says things like this, it becomes more complicated for him to think of the destruction of the Earth. His need to protect her increased to levels that even worried him. Now it wasn't a matter of Amy wanting to come along with him to the ARK. It was as if Shadow needed her to come with him.

No, he can't let those feelings take over him. He can't get attached and he shouldn't. Not after what the world has already taken from him.

"Yes, I need to go home but that doesn't mean my journey with you ends once I get the Chaos Emerald." Shadow looked over to Amy who was walking next to him, a bit too close for his comfort but at the moment he didn't mind. "I still need to help you find your friend, remember?"

"Oh, you are right!" Amy said, a bit surprised. "Thank you Shadow, most of the time I am left behind ... So, I thought that maybe you would do the same."

This time a sad smile was placed on her face. As if Amy was remembering a nostalgic memory, maybe someone who she was found off mixed with a sad memory. Anger suddenly began to rise within the black hedgehog. Whoever dared to leave behind such a kind-hearted person like Amy was an awful creature.

However, the rosette hedgehog was back to her bubbly self. She smiled the brightest that she could and looked at Shadow with her Emerald eyes.

"But I know you won't do that to me right, Shadow?" Amy asked.

This was becoming difficult. Way too difficult. Shadow was once again conflicted with his feelings, he shouldn't care much about this girl but still he does.

"No, I won't," Shadow said and really meant it ...

So then, why did Shadow felt like he was lying?

The Federal Reserve Bank was one of the most secure places in Capital City, may even in the whole world. A great facility, robots, guns, lasers, soldiers, nothing that Shadow couldn't handle.

Amy and Shadow were a few meters away from it as to Shadow's request. Although the facility was on the outskirts of the city, it was still very concurred by people, especially G.U.N. agents. Shadow knew that it was better to keep his distance now.

"I have a friend who works for the government, I think we can ask her to help us convince them to lend us the Chaos Emerald-"

Amy's voice was cut off as an explosion was heard on the Federal Reserve Bank. The gates that were surrounding the facility were no longer there and Amy immediately recognized the person behind this.

"That's Dr. Eggman!" Amy said to Shadow. "I have to stop him! He must be after the Chaos Emerald."

They were hiding behind some bushes where there was not a possibility of them being detected. Amy looked at the facility once again, determination on her eyes. Maybe this time she could prove to Sonic that she could be useful.

"Who is this Dr. Eggman?" Shadow asked, trying to get Amy's attention so her mindset would move away from entering the facility.

"He is a villain. Dr. Eggman is always trying to conquer the world and he is always after the Chaos Emeralds." Amy said. "I wonder what does he need them for now."

"This information can come in handy later on."

A quick thought crossed his mind. This was it, the means as to how to start his plans. But first he needed to do something.

"I need you to go back home, I got this. I'll stop him by myself-"

"No."

Shadow quickly interrupted, Amy had such a determination on her face that could intimidate anyone ... but him.

"I don't like being left behind Shadow and I won't leave you alone either," Amy said. "He can hurt you, what if you need me to protect you?"

"From what I remember I was the one who protected you from that guard of robots a few days ago."

"And? I still helped you get out! I can take care of myself."

"I can take care of myself!" Maria caught the red ball with her hands, an angry look placed on her face. "I want to play too!"

"Dear, even if you feel good that doesn't mean that you are." One of the scientists approached the blond one, trying to provide her with some comfort. "But your health is very delicate, one small agitation and may end up in the infirmary again ... You don't want that do you?"

"But I want to play with Shadow!" Maria said.

"Shadow is very strong, he may even hurt you if he were to throw that ball."

The black hedgehog watched from afar, a bit sad that his best friend wasn't able to play with him the activities that he enjoyed.

"Don't worry Maria," Shadow approached her, a delicate and comforting voice coming from him. "We can read a book or do a puzzle if you want."

Even when Shadow tried not to compare Amy to Maria, there was an evident share of personalities within the two. This brought back a faint memory, one that he wished he could relive again.

"I know you can take care of your self," Shadow's voice changed and this took the pink one by surprise. "I don't want you to come with me ... because I don't want you to get hurt."

Shadow the Hedgehog was the Ultimate Life Form but even he had failed to protect the one he cared for the most. His failure was something that will always hunt him in the form of insecurity. He was the Ultimate Life Form and he failed to protect a little girl. Who is he to say that the same thing won't happen to Amy? What if he can't protect her? What if he can't be there when she needs him?

"It's not like I don't trust your abilities ..." Shadow made a pause as he took a moment to appreciate Amy's emerald eyes. "It's more like I don't trust myself to protect you if need me to."

There it was again, that sadness, that painful look. There was a reason behind his insecurity and although Amy wanted to know why she knew she couldn't do that at the moment. Just what had happed to Shadow that made him be this insecure about himself? Heck, Amy was utterly impressed when she saw him destroy that guard of robots back at Prison Island. He had unique and amazing abilities ... but even he had his insecurities.

"Will you be back by dinner?"

Maybe, she was finally understanding the black hedgehog. Amy now knew that she wouldn't be able to break down the wall that Shadow had built up around him no matter how much she tried to destroy it. It was a matter of giving Shadow time, space, and understanding ... And that way maybe ... He would be the one to destroy his wall.

The dark hedgehog gave Amy a small smirk, one that pierced through the pink hedgehog's heart. Hopefully, she would be there to see more of that enchanting smile.

"I'll try my best," Shadow replied.

"You will come back, right?"

Almost like plead, Shadow's heart begged him to not stay away from the pink hedgehog. To forget everything and to not destroy the planet that Amy seemed to love so much.

But he couldn't. Shadow had made a promise to the most important person in the universe, to Maria ... and he always keeps his promises.

"I promise."

Obtaining the Chaos Emerald was too easy. The black and red striped hedgehog even felt a little bit guilty that he took down every single agent and robot at the facility. In his hands now was a green Chaos Emerald.

"It all starts with this ... A jewel containing the ultimate power," For a moment, Shadow was lost in the beauty of the green Chaos Emerald. How could something so small be so beautiful yet powerful? In a sense, the Chaos Emerald reminded him of someone he knew.

"You rat! What do you think you are doing with my Chaos Emerald?"

Although Shadow didn't recognize the voice, he wasn't scared of it much less intimidated by it. There was complete silence between them. The only thing surrounding them was the metal room in which Shadow had stolen the Chaos Emerald. Slowly, he turned around coming face to face with the so-called Dr. Eggman.

"My name is Shadow, I am one of Gerald Robotnik's greatest creation ... The Ultimate Life Form." Shadow said. "It's an honor to finally meet you, Doctor."

Although Dr. Eggman was surprised that this black hedgehog knew his grandfather's name, thanks to his great thinking abilities he was putting all the pieces together.

"You are the military's top-secret weapon! The one that the military shut down the research because they feared it!" Eggman said on top of his robot. Shadow had to admit the whole scene was comical even. He could tell why Amy called him Eggman but if the black hedgehog wanted the human to do as he pleases, it was better to not say that nickname.

"A few days ago I found my grandfather's old research files and dairy. He wrote about the greatest weapon he has ever created ... Project Shadow," Eggman was still keeping his distance, not knowing how dangerous could this hedgehog be. "I was looking for you in Prison Island, just to find that you were no longer there ... How did you even escape?"

That was something that Shadow didn't dare to say. He didn't want to involve Amy in any way into his devilish plans. He decided to ignore his question and instead focused on the information that was given to him.

"Because you are the grandchild of my creator, I'll grant you one wish," Shadow said. "Bring more Chaos Emeralds."

"Shadow wait!"

"I'll be waiting for you in the central control room on the space colony, ARK."

Shadow was enjoying this too much. The police, soldiers, agents, everyone was after him. Although he could easily use Chaos Control, a part of him wanted himself to be known to the world. Shadow wanted this planet to know that he was here, that they should start to feel despair, pain, and suffering just like he felt it. Just like he was feeling it.

Destroying the Federal Reserve Bank brought him a certain pleasure, was this what revenge felt like? If he was being completely honest, it was quite lovely.

Standing proud of at the tallest bridge of Capital City, Shadow the Hedgehog looked down on the humans. So small, so weak and pathetic and they still managed to outsmart the ultimate life form 50 years ago in the ARK.

The sounds of police sirens and helicopters around him made Shadow smile, did they really think their machines are good enough to stop him?

"Hmf ... How pathetic ..." The words left his mouth but as soon as they did, he remembered what had happened on the ARK. Yes, he was the Ultimate Life Form. However, he shouldn't let that fact make him underestimate the humans. They were more deadly than they looked.

"Find them before they escape!"

Shadow did everything he could so Maria's small hand didn't slip away from his. Her breathing was becoming more agitated, and Shadow feared that her weak lungs would explode at any moment.

Gunshots were heard and without noticing Maria had been shot right in front of him. Everything happened so fast that Shadow didn't know how to react, what to do. He had been trained to be many things, a weapon, a cure ... but Shadow had never learned how to be a savior ... A hero.

"Maria!"

In the next moment, he was trapped. A crystal capsule surrounded him and Shadow was again lost. He couldn't do anything. The black hedgehog only stood there, watching his only family bleeding to death. Maria sacrificed herself to save him, to put him to safety. Shadow was supposed to be the one to save her. After all, he was her hope all along for a happy and normal life on Earth.

"Shadow, I beg of you ... Please do it for me."

"Maria!"

"For all the people ... on that planet ..."

No matter how much Shadow screamed her name, she wouldn't listen. The Ultimate Life Form was reduced to helplessness. To nothing, he just wanted this nightmare to end. For Chaos, for everything sacred in this universe ... He swore to never sleep again if that meant he will never have this nightmare.

"Sayonara ... Shadow the Hedgehog."

He couldn't do anything back then. But now, Shadow was going to do anything in his power to get revenge. Nothing else crossed his mind, although the memory of the pink hedgehog wanted to make its way trough. He suppressed the thought, knowing that if he let his mind go to Amy the sudden rage of destroying everything will disappear. The black hedgehog didn't need that right now, all he needed at the moment, was anger, rage, and determination.

Starting right this moment, he didn't care about anyone or anything. He will seek destruction, he will full fill his promise. Shadow will make everyone feel the pain, the suffering, the no-ending nightmare that was his life.

Just how dare they? How dare these humans walk away as if nothing happened? Like they just didn't destroy his whole universe? His purpose to live?

These were the same thoughts he was having early this morning until a sweet voice interrupted him.

Amy made him have second thoughts and doubts about destroying the world.

But she wasn't here now to remind him of that.

"Maria, I still remember what I promised you, for the people of this planet ... I promise you ... Revenge!"

The dark hedgehog had already finished defeating the guars of the military that was after him. It didn't take him long and his satisfaction was short-lived, therefore he decided to go downtown where he could cause a little more of despair within the population. He looked around the city, sightly enjoying the lights and how perfectly they illuminated the city.

Suddenly, something caught his attention. It wasn't the tall buildings, nor restaurants nor how there were no people at the moment.

It was a blue hedgehog, who was fighting a G.U.N robot. It was pretty big and Shadow would have liked to take down that robot as well but seeing that the blue hedgehog was almost done with, he decided to not interfere. Shadow had to admit that the blue hedgehog had good skills for the regular Mobian. Watching from the rooftop of a close-by building, Shadow thought that maybe this could turn out to be an interesting fight.

The black hedgehog landed on top of G.U.N's robot as he threw the Chaos Emerald up and down, playing with it to get the blue hedgehog's attention.

"Now, I know what's going on!" the blue hedgehog said as he approached Shadow, looking directly up at him. "The military has mistaken me for the likes of you!"

Shadow reminds quiet, it was amusing to see that the blue one had the guts to face him. The black hedgehog wanted a fight but he didn't think it was going to be that easy.

"So, where do you think you're going with that Emerald?!" The blue hedgehog raised his voice, tired that Shadow wasn't saying a word. He began to run this time. "Say something! You fake hedgehog!"

"Well, let's play."

Throwing up the Chaos Emerald and then catching it, Shadow only said two words.

"Chaos Control!"

Greenlight eradiated from the Chaos Emerald and Shadow felt his whole body go through an energy shock. It was a sensation that was long forgotten but it wasn't uncomfortable. In the next moment, there he was up close to the blue hedgehog.

For a moment, everything went in slow motion. Blue met black as they crossed next to each other, Shadow finally took a good look on Sonic's features. He was just a regular blue hedgehog, but his green eyes remind him of someone.

Amy's emerald eyes.

"Damn it, I forgot! I promised her I was going to be back!"

Shadow mentally face palmed himself, he felt so stupid for letting his uncontrolled emotions take over him so easily.

"And tragically, I didn't make it for dinner either."

Shadow decided to teleport back to the top of the building where he could see again the blue hedgehog. Why did he even think this was a good idea? He was just wasting time.

"Wow ... he's fast!" The blue one said. "But wait ... Its not speed! He must be using the Chaos Emerald to warp!"

Oh, well at least the blue one offered him some type of entertainment. The least he could do was to introduce himself before he goes off to Amy's apartment.

"My name is Shadow, I'm the world's ultimate life form." The black hedgehog was once again playing with the green Chaos Emerald, mocking the inability of the blue hedgehog. "There's no time for games ... Farewell."

Shadow used the Chaos Emerald to create a great amount of energy, it was so bright that it blinded Sonic for the moment.

"Shadow ... What is he?"

And then he was gone.

"I better investigate this ... Just after months of not seeing Amy and Tails ... I come back to the city to see them and this happens-"

"Don't move! Stay where you are! Keep your hands up in the air!"

Sonic's thoughts were interrupted as in few seconds, the blue blur was surrounded by G.U.N's trucks, soldiers, and helicopters.

"Huh? Not again!"

Like a teenager coming back from a party that he wasn't supposed to go, Shadow entered Amy's apartment through the living room's window.

He tried to be quiet but of course the pink hedgehog was waiting for him. Amy was wearing her pink pajamas, messy hair, and tired eyes. She was sitting on the couch, in front of a small table. On top of it, a plate of food was wrapped with plastic paper, Shadow could tell the food was long cold.

But his heart wasn't.

Far from it, actually.

"My apologies, were you waiting for me?"

Shadow was finally inside the apartment, his voice was soft. For a small moment, he looked over to the lamp that lightly illuminated the room, giving him enough light to see Amy. "Have you eaten?"

"Yes."

Growl

As if destiny wanted to prove Amy wrong, her stomach let out a loud growl, showing that she hasn't eaten anything since she last saw Shadow.

"I wanted to eat with you," Amy defended herself. A bit shy and embarrassed that Shadow watched her being this vulnerable. "How did it go? Did you defeat Eggman?"

Shadow nodded, he watched Amy stand up from the couch. The pink lady slowly walked towards him where she could see him better thanks to the moonlight coming from outside the window. Shadow's vermillion eyes glowed even brighter. The first time Amy saw his eyes, they were a bit terrifying. But now, she found a strange sense of comfort within them. Red pools that wanted to say so much, but couldn't.

"Did you get the Chaos Emerald?"

"Yes,"

"Are you going home now?"

"...Yes."

Amy's heart shrunk a little when he accepted it. They had been together for a couple of days but they had built a special bond. She knew this won't be the last time she would see him ... So, why does she feels like this?

"I need to go home but I'll come back to you when the time is right."

Even for Shadow, it was hard to say those words. But why? His heart stopped beating as he watched Amy's face change.

It was as if she knew everything, about his past. About his plan to destroy the Earth, about his dark thoughts.

But her face showed such calmness, such softness ... It wasn't pitying, it was compassion.

She was giving him comfort, without Amy knowing it.

"I'll be here whenever you need me,"

This time, Amy smiled. She knew that Shadow needed to follow his journey and to discover himself on his own. However, if there was any way she could help, then she would make it clear that she would be here for him. No matter what.

"Would you ... Would you really be here?"

Amy couldn't tell all too well, but she knew that his voice had cracked. His voice was filled with such grief that Amy herself felt like crying. That insecurity was showing up again in Shadow and this time it was breaking him. His voice was a quiet plead. He was like a sinner seeking forgiveness, like a vagabond seeking a home.

"Yes, I'll be here ... I promise."

The rosette hedgehog was something or rather say someone who Shadow has been looking for since the day Maria died. Something that he thought he lost forever. He had only known the pink hedgehog for a couple of days but she had shown him so much. She offered him such unconditional sentiment and comfort that made his heart feel at peace.

But was that enough to forget a promise?

No.

"When I come back, I'll help you find your friend. How does this individual look like?"

"No need. Honestly, he must be traveling somewhere. I have my ways of finding him, so don't worry about that," the pink lady was getting closer to Shadow but now he didn't mind the closeness of it at all. "Besides, something tells me that you have more important things to do that to help me find Sonic."

The black hedgehog still wonders who was this person who seemed to be so important to the pink one. Why would anyone want to be away from her? When all that Shadow wanted to do was to be close to her?

"I'll come back soon enough, don't get in any trouble alright?" Shadow took one last good look at Amy, fully appreciating her soft features. Nonetheless, his eyes landed on hers. How come he didn't notice earlier? Amy's green emerald eyes were even more beautiful than the Chaos Emerald he was hiding.

"No promises!" Amy said playfully as Shadow walked towards the window, ready to disappear into the distance.

Although his heart was begging him to not leave, he knew that this was for the better. He needed to figure out things by himself and hopefully, he could get rid of the strange feeling that was starting to make its way into his heart.

"I'll come back," Shadow said. What the black hedgehog didn't know was that he would see Amy soon enough, in a circumstance he wished Amy wouldn't see him in.

"I know," Amy gives him a reassuring smile, one that made his heart and soul feel ... tranquil.

"You promised me."

A/N: The hardest part of this chapter was the ending. It took me a very long time to figure out how this conversation. Shadow, a lost, suffering soul ... and Amy, an idealist who sees the best in everyone. I guess I really wanted to show Shadow's mains traits in this chapter. His determination, insecurity, and caring side. No matter how much he tries to not let 'superficial' feelings get to him, he always ends up caring for others. He does not want to destroy the planet earth, but he is still going to do it because he 'promised' it to Maria. I wanted to show Shadow's inner conflict and how much that affects him. He is going to have his lows on this story but you all know how it's gonna end. I am really trying to stay 'in character' for these two. This won't be your super 'mushy lovey-dovey fanfiction story.' This story is going to be more like 'the reasons why Shadow and Amy have such great potential as a couple, romantic and non-romantic'. I want to highlight both characters' traits, weaknesses, and strengths as I give a new approach to this iconic story.

Also, I just realized that Sonic never introduces himself to Shadow but after they are at the ARK racing each other. So, if I can I'll have Shadow at the end be like 'Oh, so you are the hedgehog Amy is looking for!"

On the side note, I am already preparing for the big ANGST moment. Well, two main angst moments, I am sure you can figure the two moments out. I honestly can't wait for all of you to read it.

I want this story to be around 10 chapters long. But, it may be more or less. It all really depends on how much I can make out of the SA2 story. I'll be pulling out things from the hero and dark stories to finish this.

Anyways, that's all I have to say for now. I think, lol.

See you next time on Prison Island!

#shadamy #shadamy fanfiction #shadamyau #shadamy fanf #shadow and amy #shadamy comic #shadow x amy #shadowxamy #shadowandamy #amy rose #sonic fanfic #sonic fanfiction #sa2

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aye-write · 3 years

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Summary: Research student Isla Reid has been fascinated with the legend of the Kildonian Chessmen - a trio of mythical Pokemon rumoured to have lived centuries ago on the remote region of Kildo - for as long as she can remember. So, when a museum exhibit on the Chessmen is set to open in Kildo’s Hydrogate City, coinciding with her independent research project, she packs herself and her trusty partner Furret onto the long ferry journey bound for this new region.

However, when she arrives in Kildo, thoughts of her research, new friends, and an entire Pokedex’s worth of new Pokemon, are quickly dashed. Kildo is a troubled place, beset by natural disasters and fierce rivalries among its people. Isla suddenly finds herself at the centre of a centuries-old plot to invoke the wrath of the Chessmen, and is set on a race against time to stop them, before it spells destruction for the entire region.