#1. got a headache from how hard i cried and had to sit down

[rewrite-canon]

me when sad media piece about romantic relationship: light work no reaction

me when sad media piece about sibling dynamic: oh. okay. its got a little kick.

me when sad media piece about child-parental figure dynamic: LET ME GET UP LET ME GET UP LET ME GET UP ELT MEGET UP ELT ME GET UP ELTMR FJETY UP LEGBR LE FEOT UP

#me when #i just watched aftersun and when i tell you the symptoms that movie gave me were PLAGUE-LIKE #its bcuz i cried so much throughout that my eyes are still swollen (its the morning after) #1. got a headache from how hard i cried and had to sit down #2. passed out right after the film (it was early) #3. i had work earlier and fucked my knee during my shift. it hurt so bad but after the movie my body was so numb i couldnt even feel it #4. dehydration from crying so much #5. tummy ache from crying so much. also felt like throwing up #6. became delirious and started thinking about my DAD DYING 😭 had to be with him for two hours to calm down lmfao #all in all: DONT WATCH AFTERSUN. the worst movie ever i genuinely wanted to die #still five stars tho #but im seeing a pattern in all my fav media. hm #aftersun #everything everywhere all at once #eeaao #tlou #the last of us #lady bird #beautiful boy #fancy dance #circe #michiko and hatchin #the astonishing colour of after #wolf children #the cruel prince #<- im only tagging tcp bcuz jude and madoc’s relationship was honestly the best part abt the series #rewriting

[ray8467]

Part 1: Brotherhood

HI, my name is Izuku midoriya. Here is my story about my life.

Ever since we were 7, I had a crush on my bully. Now it may sound odd. Like why would you have a crush on your bully? Well when we were little, before we got our quirks, Kaccan and I were best friends. But my mum and I went to go check if I had a quirk, everything changed. Not only our friendship but my whole life. I found out the worst thing a four-year-old could ever find out. Especially when they have a dream of becoming a hero. This news my mum and I got, could break any kid's heart. But it broke mine the most.

Nobody's POV

June 16, 2108

"B-but, m-m-mum. W-what a-about b-b-becoming a h-hero?" Izuku said

"I'm sorry Izuku honey!" Inko cries.

Tenko walks in. "mum? Is brother all right?"

"Izuku is okay, he just found out that he is quirkless."

"Wow! Izuku! That's so cool! You can easily stand out! You're so special!"

"B-but, I-I, w-what a-about b-b-becoming a h-hero, T-Tenko?" Izuku cries

'Well Izuku," Tenko walks towards Izuku and his mum, "you are strong and can become a hero without a quirk!"

"But I-I am n-not s-strong enough to become a h-hero w-without a quirk" Izuku starts to calm down a little bit, "you need to have a quirk to become a h-hero. A-and without a q-quirk, people are gonna b-bully me."

"If anyone tries to bully you," he starts to tickle Izuku' "I'll tickle them!"

"H-hey! Pfffftttt, Hahahaha! S-stop t-that!" Izuku starts to laugh and Inko walks out of the room smiling. She takes a picture of Tenko tickling Izuku to show Hisashi.

June 18, 2108

Hisashi and Inko are fighting. Tenko is trying to get Izuku to calm down. "IF YOU WANT TO HURT MY KIDS, THEN YOU CAN LEAVE THIS HOUSE!" Inko yells at Hisashi. "FINE! I'LL LEAVE THIS HOUSE BUT I'M TAKING IZUKU WITH ME!"Hisashi screamed at Inko. Inko starts crying "I'M NOT LETTING YOU TAKE MY BABY BOY! NOT AFTER WHAT HE HAS BEEN THROUGH THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS!" Inko cries out trying to protect her son. Hisashi yells at Inko how instead of taking Izuku he will take Tenko. He starts walking over to Tenko's room where Tenko is calming down Izuku. Inko starts to yell at him telling him not to touch either of her children. Hisashi got annoyed and punched Inko in the stomach very hard to the point she fell to the ground spitting out blood. He drags Tenko away from Izuku and out of the door.

Izuku's POV

I saw Mum sitting on the floor coughing up blood. I ran up to her, "MUM! Are you o-okay? I-is brother going t-to be alright?" I cry. I try to help my mum up but fail miserably. That is probably because I am 4 years old. "Don't worry Izuku I am okay. I don't know about your brother. We will find him eventually and get him away from your father. Now just go play in your room Sweetheart."

B-but mum, I need to help y-you!" Izuku whined. "I don't need help Izu. Do you want me to call Mitsuki to see if you can play with Katsuki?" I got so happy and yelled yes. But I told her after I help her. Mum knows that I won't give up so she let me help her to the bathroom. Once we were done cleaning her up she called Auntie and she came and picked me up. I started crying and Kaccan asked what was wrong. I explained everything and my eyes were burning because of how much I've been crying today. I also had a headache and I was so tired. I guess Kaccan could tell so he told me to come here and he cuddled up with me and we both fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they got to Katsuki's house

Katsukis' POV

Poor Izu. How is he supposed to become a hero with me? I don't want him to get hurt. Maybe I can convince him that he can't be a hero. But for now, I'm going to support him. Because he might be able to become strong enough to become a hero without a quirk. And I need to support him more because his father and brother are gone now.

"Kacchan?" My Izu said tiredly, "are we at your house yet?

"Ya, we are now let's go!" I ran up to him and grabbed his wrist and dragged him to my room. We played with our almighty figurines and played for a little while. After a while of playing, mom took us to the park to play.

"Kacchan! Wait up! You're too fast!" Izu said as he was panting at me trying to catch up. I told him to just catch up and he whined. I laughed then slowed down. He got mad at me and punched me lightly. I just giggled then lightly punched him back. "Kacchans meaning!" Izu said with his cute mad face. I just smiled and then walked to the swings. "Do you want me to push you on the swing, My lady?" I said jokingly. He knew I said that because I knew it bothered him when I acted like that to him. Though sometimes he goes along with it then we end up laughing.

"Oh, how kind of you sir! Why yes I would like that." He said in a fake British accent. He gently got on the swing. I started to push him lightly. He pumped his legs along with the way I was pushing. He yelled at me to go faster. I said no until he was basically begging me. I decided to listen to him so I pushed harder. He was going really high now. He accidentally kicked me and I fell. He got concerned and worriedly asked if I was ok. I just giggled and said I'm fine. I got back up and pushed him.

Izuku's POV

Kacchan was pushing me when I accidentally Kicked him while I was swinging. OMG is Kacchan okay? "Kacchan!? Are you okay! I didn't mean to kick you, Kacchan!" he told me that he was fine and even giggled while getting up, but I don't really believe him. He cant be alright after I just kicked him like that! I just said ok and acted as if I believed him. At this point, I was kinda getting scared. This is because I was going really high on the swing now. I go almost horizontal. If I do one wrong move on the swing, I could fall off and hurt myself. Meh. I know Kacchan would let that happen. Right...? He would save me... Get these thoughts out of your head Izuku. You're trying to have fun. I snapped back to reality by hearing Kacchan screaming my name. What? Why is he screaming my name? I realized I wasn't holding the ropes anymore. Why was time going so slowly? I looked down and then I realized. I was falling. Falling from a high swing. Right to the ground. That is when my life flashed by my eyes. The fact that I have no quirk. My father tried to take me. But instead, it was my brother. Why couldn't he take me instead? And that was when my entire body backed out. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't feel anything. All I could hear were the faint cries of Kacchan. Wait! Kitchen! I tried yelling out his name. But it only came out as a whisper. But even the faint sounds of sirens and Kacchans cries, And my mother's screams, faded. I could hear nothing and feel nothing. All I could see was black.

1298 words

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[kindacruelandmean]

Drink up.

Minors and Ageless Blogs DNI

*Summary: Dabi makes you drink his spit.

*A/N: This one is for me, yall. Really one of my nastiest desires 🥺. Tbh I was going to write it with Hawk's, but Dabi hits different. I'm a fan now.

*Tags/Warnings ⚠️ : Spit-kink, Degradation, Kidnapping, Forced Dehydration, 20 different pet names. Teasing. Patronizing language. Choking

"Did you know that the mouth produces 1 litre of saliva a day?" the scarred man sat at the other side of the table, his posture and attitude relaxed as if he was discussing the weather. "The more you know, right Cutie? This won't be your recommended 3 liters, but it should be good enough. "

Your only response was a furious glare from tired, dry eyes. Your throat felt like sandpaper when you swallowed, but you didn't want to give into his teasing. It was hard enough to ignore your pounding headache without his taunting voice.

You had been captured a few days ago. You were able to save your teammates from Dabi's blaze, but was unfortunately left behind. Exhausted, you were unable to defend yourself from being captured.

He forced you into a hot, muggy room and chained you to a wooden chair that sat on the wall-side of the heavy oak table. Placed on the table was a glass filled with his viscous spittle. Periodically, he would enter the room and make a show of spitting into the glass. This was one of many sick games that he subjected you to while you were held here.

"How long has it been? Surely you'll need to have a drink of water."

"Go fuck yourself," you croaked, throat pained.

"Mmh maybe that can be tomorrow's game, Dollface." He beamed with delight at your fear-fed reaction.

"It's just like a stuck up hero bitch to act like she's too good for hand outs from a lowly villain like me, huh?, Guess you don't want it. It has been a day or two, but you don't need water, right?" His cold, icy eyes bore into yours as he gauged you're reaction, looking for cracks. You tried hard not to give up, give in.

The scarred man rose from his seat. His finger trailed the rim of the glass for a moment, gooey strings followed his fingers.

"Last chance, Babydoll. After I leave out that door you might not see me for days, if you survive." He took his time picking up and inspecting the glass. "It'd be a shame if that Bakugou brat found your dehydrated husk." He lean legs strode towards the door, closer towards sealing your fate.

"W-wait... please... please!" The mention of your lover pushed you to your breaking point. You shook with anguish, unable to even cry out. "C-can I just have water, real water. I...I-ll do anything, please. I can't take this." You tried to reason.

"Finally come around? Well I got all the water you need right here. Its 99% water, after all. That and various enzymes. What more could you need?" Dabi was bubbling with mirth.

"You know...what I mean... please."It was hard for you to contain your dry sniffles.

Dabi sauntered back towards the table. "You're being awfully selfish and pushy." Coming over to your side, he lifted himself to sit on the table top. His heavy boots landed on your thighs and pushed down hard. You wailed in pain as his steeled ankles grinded against your thighs. Taking that opening, the scarred man shoved his free hand towards your chin. "How about some gratitude?" His grasp was tight as he shoved his thumb into your mouth, loudging it behind a row of teeth. Your mouth was fixed open. You gasped and cried at the intrusion, fighting to free yourself.

"Oh Toots, you're making some cute noises for me now, huh? You must really want it. You're my thirsty little bitch, right? Well, I won't keep ya waiting. Here it comes, fresh from the source!" With the drama of a show man, Dabi deeply exhaled, gargling the frothy contents of mouth, then leaned forward and launching the glob onto your tongue. It's took a snails pace to side down your throat.

"Drink up, Gorgeous! C'mon, it's what you wanted!" His palm squeeze tightly around your jaw. It caused you to gasp and choke down his spit. "There ya go, Baby. Lap it up, just like the filthy, nasty dog you are! Want more? Here ya go."

He brought the glass over your mouth and tipped it. "Steady your breathing, Bitch! Don't go choking just yet!" Dabi was reeling with laughter. Tossing the glass away he slapped his now free hand over your mouth. "Can't have you spilling a single drop." He was patient and gave you a few moments of struggled breathing and trying to reject the the fluids in your mouth.

"Aw need some help, Angel?" His pointing finger and thumb closed over your nose. The man smiled down at you, still patiently waiting for you to give. It took your eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head before you could take no more. With no other choice you took a gulp, struggling to swallow your mouthful. He kept his hands still, through your retching and only removed his palm after he was sure you were finished. You puffed out cute little exhausted huffs and had drool stringing down your chin.

"Now wasn't that refreshing?"

#dabi x reader #Yandere!Dabi x reader #Yandere #Scumbag!dabi #Scumbag #Spit kink #bnha smut #mha smut #minors dni #Nasty night tonight@ #Spitbucket #Touya todoroki x reader #Mmmh guys I've had an awakening #Where are mu spit freaks please talk to me #Professor dabi knows spit facts #Awful human being me #degradation kink

[miridiums-writing]

Barbarian Bakugou x Plus-sized!Villager!Reader

Summary ; reader loves in village that is ravaged by bararians, bakugou catches them and finds out they are mates

Warnings ; violence, there is implied sexual assault but it never happens kinda like a passing thought. I never actually state gender though reader does wear a dress, so if your someone who doesn’t like wearing dresses then you might have trouble fitting into the narrative. REMEMBER ANYONE CAN WEAR A DRESS, I WILL HYPE YOU UP. They eat in it, also they eat meat so if you’re vegetarian or anything of the sort you probably won’t relate, Bakugou yes he is a warning, swearing it is Bakugou after all.

AUTHORS NOTE ; ill have part 2 out hopefully in a few days, ill link both the petite reader version and the plus-sized reader to each other so whichever suits you better you can read.

Tag list : @squishytenya

Petite!reader version part 1

The village was alight, red ran rampant through the streets, the screams of young and old mixing to create a noise that would give anyone a headache. You were running as fast as you could, no shoes on, trying to pick up your skirts as you ran. You had been woken by a scream and hadn’t thought to put on shoes before you ran to escape the sea of arrows shot at your home. People dragged younger ones through the wreckage, others cried, others shouting for loved ones. Nobody seemed to be left unscathed.

Your feet were in tatters at this point, having ran through rocks and glass to get here. Your only motivation that got you this far, even with the pain you were in, was the orphanage at the top on town. On a slight hill further away from the village, secluded in a way. You hoped against hope the children were ok. You dodged through fire, adrenaline coursing through your veins. You had to make it. You had to keep them safe. Though in your blind panic you didn’t notice the figure stealthily following after you.

You were running up the hill now, twigs that littered the woods floor poking into your poor feet, causing you to slow slightly, but your determination kept you from walking. Just as the orphanage came into sight arms wrapped around your waist. You kicked in attempt to get away, hoping against hope you could escape, get to them. Those kids did nothing to deserve the pain. Your attempts did nothing but tire you more, your hope of escape starting to slip from your grasp. “Stay still dammit” a gruff voice stated. He moved you both back, further into the woods, blocking your view of the orphanage and kept you still.

“Oi Kirishima! Keep those idiots away from the orphanage” He called out further into the woods, not second later a muscular man with spiky hair and even spikier teeth seemed to appear in an instant and disappear just as quickly. With the disappearance of the other man he moved you so you could finally see his face, though his grip on you never loosened. If you were honest with yourself, he was rather pretty. Hard red eyes stared into yours and seemed to judge your appearance as you gaped at him. His blonde locks spiked out, much more naturally than the other mans, he had a defined jawline, and a look that screamed danger. In your curiosity you failed to notice how odd this whole situation was. Here you were being held down by an intimidation and rather frightening man, but you felt no fear towards him.

“Found you” he said, looking at you with a smirk as his face moved closer to yours. Just as you thought he was going to kiss you his face moved lower to your neck and started to pepper kisses and nips into the sensitive skin. You tensed in his hold, not sure what he was about to do, and scared for the outcome that seemed inevitable. Just then he roughly bit into your neck, causing you to shriek at the vast difference from what he was doing before and the pain that started to thump against your neck like a drum. When he was satisfied, he started to lick at your neck, no doubt cleaning up the blood. “There, now that’s sorted time to clean you up and get moving” He tightly grabbed a hold of your hand, pulling you close to his body. “If you try and run you wouldn’t like to know the fate of those kids you so wish to protect so behave.” You didn’t want to know what he could to, so you allowed him to pull you away from the orphanage.

He pulled you both down the hill and towards the town, he hadn’t told you his name and didn’t seem in the mood for light conversation, so you stayed quiet, not wanting to anger the man further than he already seemed to be. When you both got back to the village it was silent. A stark difference between the village you had left behind, and it set you on edge. He must have noticed how you had started to shake a little, though he didn’t say anything on it. “Hide you face into my back, quickly” he said, his voice slightly softer than earlier, though it didn’t stop the unease. Just as you opened your mouth to question it, he gave you a glare that made you close it instantly. You ducked your head down into his back behind him and tried to ignore the strares, questions swarming your mind. “right let’s move out” he shouted, his voice seeming even more loud now you were against his back, making you cringe slightly. With one hand now taking your weight he hoisted onto a horse, repositioning you in front of him to lean against his chest. “Get some sleep, its gonna be a long ride teddy bear”

When you woke you were still in his arms, though you were now wrapped up in a fur coat, keeping you warm from the wind. If you didn’t think about the fact he basically kidnapped you it could almost be sweet. He had positioned you in a way that meant the brunt of the wind was hitting against the fur coat, keeping you toasty warm. He was looking ahead, no doubt keeping control of the horse, though you did notice how he would glance down at you. Due to your position you couldn’t really see anything, giving in to the temptation of going back to sleep for now, who knew when you would be able to sleep again, you let your eyes closed and allowed yourself to relax, your head snuggling into his warm chest.

Your eyes fluttered open at a loud shout, startling you from the fragile sleep you had managed to get. “We’re almost there” He claimed, glancing down at your sleepy form curled into him. Cute. The thought was a fleeting one, but it made him freeze up slightly, he hoped you didn’t notice. This mate stuff was making him soft. The horse abruptly came to a stop and the man carefully gave you his hand to help you jump down. You noticed almost immediately this was much gentler than he had been previously, and honestly threw you for a loop. On one hand this was much nicer treatment than previously, even if he hadn’t been particularly bad, on the other hand what does this entail, does he want something in return? The man pulled you inside what looked like a large tent and pointed towards the bed to sit down, it was covered with fur blankets and looked rather nice and warm to cuddle up in.

“Look here’s the deal,” he said, sitting down on the floor before you, making your face in line with his. “You’re my mate, kinda like a soulmate, I guess. It’s a feeling. My name’s Bakugou Katsuki by the way. Call my Katsuki though, it’ll just piss me off if you call me anything else. Just, listen to what I say. Ill go get you some food, you look like you need it.” As Katsuki walks away you could hear him mutter under his breath “Skinny as anything” When he had officially left, and you decided he was far enough away you started to look around. The tent was rather spacious, but not to the point it was cold. If anything, it was so warm in here. Like an invisible fire was somewhere in the room keeping it warm. The tent itself smelled like wood pine and honeysuckle, and a hint of caramel, it felt more homely than your old village ever did. You knew you had to think through what he had told you, but you didn’t want to even think about it. Taken away from your home after it having been destroyed by them and he tells you you’re his soulmate and you need to listen him.

When Katsuki got back you were cocooned in the blankets, sure the room was warm, but as the night air drew in the rooms temperature seemed to drop drastically, so you had taken it upon yourself to collect all the blankets and pile them onto of yourself. Katsuki stood at the entrance dumbfounded at the sight, as in comparison he stood tall in his trousers and fur coat, with his necklace and earrings to adorn the look. He wasn’t used to feeling cold. He would need to thank his parents later for getting on at him to make sure he had enough blankets for his mate when it got cold. He placed the food down on the table and started picking apart the blankets until he revealed you, cuddling into yourself. “Look, I know its cold but you gotta eat, come on” He allows you to get yourself up, though you take one of the smaller blankets with you to combat the cold.

The meal itself wasn’t anything special. A meat of some kind with potatoes and asparagus. You were so hungry you ate it without question, too hungry to care. He watched you from the other side of the table, it made you slightly self-conscious but brushed it off as his thing, he had a habit of watching you. When you finished you made sure to tidy up your area as best as you could, not wanting to seem impolite. This made Katsuki scoff at you, your insecurity coming back quickly.

“Bed time” was all he said, even though you had been sleeping most of the day, the thought of curling up into the blanket seemed heavenly. As you climbed into the bed, securing yourself under the furs Katsuki came in behind you. He simply brought your body to his, circling his body around yours in a protective manner. With him so close to you, you found it hard to fall asleep. Though Katsuki seemed to find it easy, simply snuggling his face into your neck and falling asleep. You decided to go through your options. Option one, stay still and go to sleep unknowing to what could happen tomorrow, though by his current attitude and behaviour you now highly doubted it being too dangerous, or option two, somehow manage to escape his iron grip and run out of the tent, with no knowledge of where you were, how far from home, or what could be outside the tent. The thought of meeting something worse than Katsuki made you shiver and slightly move closer to him. At least you knew what he was capable of, plus you had the added protection that he claimed you as his mate, those usually ended happily. No one wanted to endanger their mate, it went against Barbarian law. Something you vaguely remembered researching when you were young and curious. With those thoughts in mind you allowed yourself to succumb to the warmth Katsuki provided and fall into a broken sleep.

Please reblog if you enjoyed

#katsuki bakugou #bnha bakugou #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #barbarian bakugou #bakugou x black reader #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bnha bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou x poc!reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki #katsuki x y/n #bnha katsuki x reader #bnha fantasy #bnha fantasy au #mha fantasy au

[comfortwriting]

A Triwizard Baby Part 2 - F.W

Masterlist, Writing Prompt Masterlist, Requesting Rules, Taglist

This is Part 2 of The Triwizard Baby Series, you can read part 1 here.

Want to be tagged? Let me know!

Fred Weasley x Fem Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Pregnancy, Mention of Abortion, alcohol.

"Oh come on, Y/N." Fred begged again "Please!"

"I said no!" You hissed, slapping Fred's hand away from you, storming past him and hurrying to the bathroom, feeling more nauseous than ever.

Clutching your stomach, you fell down onto your knees and hurled yourself over the toilet, vomiting up your porridge and pumpkin juice. At the moment, mornings were cruel to you - your stomach would churn and you had to endure feeling sick, and most often vomiting up your food. You didn't think anything of it, you told yourself you got food poisoning, or one of your potions had bad side effects, but in reality, as you discovered, food and potions weren't responsible for your morning sickness - Fred's baby was.

"Miss Y/L/N, it appears that you're pregnant." Madame Pomfrey announced, handing you the strange plastic stick, pointing at the tiny circle window with a plus sign inside that stared up at you.

You put your head in your hands and sighed, starting to shake, tears filling your eyes.

"I-I don't know what to do."

"Do you want to keep it?"

"I don't know"

"Do you want to terminate the pregnancy?"

"I-I don't know, just give me time to think."

Wracking your brain and trying to think of how you could explain this to your parents, and thinking about your future, Madame Pomfrey walked across the room, sorting through various potions, you could hear the glass bottles knocking over and clinking against one another. Walking back over to you, she handed you a deep purple potion that was misty and looked sparkly when hit by the light.

"Take this once a day, each morning until you know what you want. This potion will hide any indication of pregnancy as the weeks pass by. You'll still experience the usual side effects, but the most this will do is hide your growing bump."

"The usual side effects?" you scoffed "You're saying this as if this has happened to me before, I-"

Madame Pomfrey shook her head at you "You're in here, in a complete pickle on your own because of Fred Weasley" she said quietly, in case any students were now inside the hospital wing.

You swallowed hard, was your love for him that obvious?

"You're not the first girl of his to end up here" she grumbled "And I doubt you'll be the last!"

Fred knocked other girls up? Who? Did you know them? Did they secretly keep the baby?

Everything started to make your head spin, even more, you pulled the top off the potion and necked a tiny drop down, it tasted bitter yet spicy, you could feel a tingling in your tummy.

"If you run out, you know where to find me," Madame Pomfrey said, ushering around you, fluffing up pillows and making the beds "Now, you better be off!"

You were in shock - not just about being pregnant and hiding it, but the whole night in general from what you could remember. One minute you were snogging your best friend, being cheered on by everyone around you, the next minute you were having sex, then you woke up in the morning with a pounding headache and a hangover from hell - which led you to this moment: you were already one month into your pregnancy, and no one aside from Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore knew.

You didn't want to terminate the pregnancy, but you didn't want to raise the child either, you felt lost and afraid, and you had no one to talk to - but in the next week or so, you would either have the support of your family or you would be disowned.

"What's up with her?" George asked Fred, looking around after waiting for you to return to the great hall.

"I don't know, Georgie." Fred answered, feeling pissed off "She's been more distant, after the first task she just.. she's changed."

Fred couldn't remember anything from that night, the next morning he woke up and you were already out of his bed, and no one mentioned what happened because they were going through hangovers from hell too - what did they expect? you were the master of drinking games, and no one could ever keep up with you.

You couldn't face Fred after the night you shared together, your brain warned you to stay away from him, to run in the other direction - screaming, whilst your heart cried for him, calling out his name and screaming at you - begging you to run to him with open arms.

You were frightened, alone, and felt ashamed, how could you bring a child up so young during your studies? how could you tell your best friend that you were carrying his child? how could you explain that you were now forever tied to him whether he liked it or not? You decided that you shouldn't and wouldn't tell him, from what you knew of - Fred couldn't remember what happened that night and you were satisfied, the least he could remember the better.

"Probably her time of the month or something, Freddie, don't overthink it."

Fred sighed "Well I’ve been planning to ask Angelina to the ball, I thought she'd get jealous when I took my time to ask her, but she didn't care."

George nodded, trying to think about what could have caused you to be so distant and moody, even George knew your periods and mood swings weren't that bad.

"I'm not giving up on her though" Fred continued, crossing his arms "by the end of the week she'll be on my arm, I can't turn up to watch the Yule Ball without a lass now can I?"

Tomorrow was The Yule Ball, a formal dance held on the evening of Christmas Day. Before realising you were pregnant, you had picked out a dress, you even got excited with the possibility that Fred would ask you - but now you needed to avoid him at all costs, seeing his face and turning him down once more would hurt your heart more than it deserved.

After taking a shower, you stared at your tummy through the mirror, realising that in a couple of weeks time, it would become more obvious that you were pregnant, and remember that you would need to rely on the potion to keep things a secret.

"Okay" you whispered to yourself "Don't forget, don't let the brain fog get you into trouble."

Drying yourself, you pulled on your clothes, constantly repeating the potion, and your plan in your head.

Walking out of the common room and down the stairs, turning around and walking down the hall, a loud whistle made you jump, Fred was following you.

"Don't ignore me, love, you know it's rude."

You glared at Fred, your heart and head both at war just by the sight of him and the sound of his voice.

"The answer is still no Fred, just leave me alone."

Don't look at him, don't get attached to his baby - stop it - just keep walking.

"Is it seriously too much to ask?" Fred hissed "It's just Yule Ball, not a bloody date!"

"I'm aware, Fred!" you raised your voice, feeling stressed, sick, and drained "No, I'm not going with you, just please - leave me alone."

Fred didn't chase after you, he stopped in his tracks and burned holes in the back of your head. He didn't understand, why were you avoiding him? why did you suddenly hate him after being best friends, inseparable for so many years? did he say something wrong? did he look at you funny? he didn't know, and he couldn't put his finger on the strange feeling clawing inside him.

Fred’s heart split in two, and he wouldn’t let you get away with doing this - he would get you back in the cruellest way possible, he had to make you jealous.

“Fine!” he yelled at you “I’ll ask someone else! Someone worth my time!”

The Yule Ball was underway, Fred had managed to ask out Angelina, Hermione with Krum, everyone with a partner - even those who weren’t happy about it, like Ron and Harry. You, however, were sat in the empty Hospital Wing, with Madame Pomfrey and your parents.

The huge lump kept forming in your throat, no matter how many times you kept swallowing it down. You couldn't keep still, your feet were tapping against the floor and you kept picking at the thread on your skirt.

"So what seems to be the issue?" your mum asked politely.

You stared at the thread, avoiding all eye contact.

Madame Pomfrey cleared her throat "Well, Mr and Mrs Y/L/N, you have been called into this meeting today as you need to be made aware of something that involves your daughter, Y/N. This matter will give us all plenty to discuss, and plenty of choices for Y/N to decide."

"What is it, sweetheart?" your dad asked, holding the hand of his wife.

Tears welled in your eyes again, your vision going like Harry's before the Gilliweed would take effect in a few months time.

"Please don't get mad" you croaked, finally looking up at your parents, staring at their concerned, soft faces "I-I'm pregnant."

Your parents went quiet, exchanging looks, appearing to be concerned, and quite shocked, but they understood - and they were going to get you through this.

“I know you’re scared, Y/N,” your mother said softly “You’re so young, raising a baby whilst being a baby - our baby - yourself.”

“We were young parents,” your father added quietly “it wasn’t easy, but we pulled through, we will support you, please don’t be ashamed.”

“The worst thing is” you choked, tears falling onto your skirt “I don’t even have the heart to tell him, he can’t remember what happened.”

Your mum got out of her seat and hurried over to you, pulling you into her arms, stroking your head as you wept, reassuring you.

“Is Fred the father?” Your mum asked under her breath, hoping her husband wouldn’t add him to his hit-list.

You nodded your head “yes” you sniffled “he is.”

“Now,” Madame Pomfrey huffed “I don’t want you going to that ball, you need to keep yourself safe, the baby needs to be safe.”

Well, you can’t join the dance or drink the spiked punch, but that doesn’t mean you can’t watch from a distance, does it?

Sitting down at the table behind Harry and Ron’s, you watched everyone dance with smiles on their faces, falling in love with their date for the night. You felt left out, quite bummed, and worst of all, you now had to watch the love of your life, the father of your child, mess with you on purpose.

Fred’s eyes meet with yours, his pained heart softens for a moment before remembering what you had done to him, and how you would get what you deserved. Dancing with Angelina, Fred gripped her hand, smirking at you before pulling her in for a deep, passionate kiss.

It felt as if time had stood still, your heart - like Fred’s - split in half, tears formed in your eyes and you felt sick, mortified, and betrayed. Pushing your chair out from the table, you got to your feet and ran away, leaving everyone behind as you rushed to the common room.

How could he do this to you? Why would he do this!

You felt stupid, you were getting attached to his child when you wanted nothing more than to be free - but this baby was the only piece of Fred you could ever have, and for all his faults, and mind games, you wanted to be close to him in any way that you could, no matter what.

Bursting into the common room, George gave you a sympathetic look, stopping his conversation with his friend Matt.

“You alright love?” he asked, his ginger hair lighter from the flickering flames.

You wanted to tell him, tell somebody, you couldn’t hide this anymore.

“Are you?” you asked, walking over them, sitting down on the floor by the fire.

“Not really, no” George replied “My twin brother is dancing with the girl I love, bit shit really.”

“Why have you been so distant?” Matt asked, “George and Fred are worried about you.”

This was it, you had to tell them, your words coming up like vomit.

“After the first challenge, when we attended that party when Fred and I kissed - that night went much further - I’m... I’m pregnant with his kid.” You admitted quietly “I don’t know what to do, I’m in love with him, and he can’t remember a thing, and he’s dancing with Angelina - he snogged her infront of me knowing I was watching him!”

You started to cry, hurt and fury ignited inside of George, everything starting to make sense - your absence, your morning sickness, you constantly clutching your tummy in protection when people bumped into you.

“Are you going to tell him?” George asked.

You shook your head “No, and the both of you aren’t going to tell him either, you need to promise me.”

George loved Fred, hell, twins are inseparable for crying out loud, but right now, George didn’t care about his loyalty to Fred, he hated him, he fucked you over and will most likely be fucking his crush tonight.

“I promise” he muttered, “it’s no one else choice, but yours.”

“That goes for who you tell, and for what you decide is best for you and the baby,” Matt added.

Feeling slightly better, you got to your feet and pulled Matt in for a quick hug, and then pulled George in for a close and warm embrace “thank you” you whispered in his ear, nuzzling your face into his neck.

Now three months pregnant, you were heavily reliant on the potion that deflated your bump, the only person to see it was George - who teared up and rested his hand upon it, wishing you were with someone better than his stupid brother.

Fred leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, staring at you and George talking, why was it that you acted as if he didn’t exist yet you were all over his brother? Was he fucking you behind his back? Did you prefer the twin you didn’t know as much over your best friend? Is this why his twin avoided him at all costs?

With the second challenge only a day away, Fred wanted to patch things up with you in time so he wouldn’t have to go to the second challenge alone, although he asked Angelina to the ball - and they had a good time - she wasn’t you, and he missed you more than he would like to admit.

Walking past to go to Divination, Fred stepped out in front of you, stopping you from getting past.

“Quite fond of Georgie now, aren’t you?”

“Let me through, Fred, I don’t want to be late.”

“Only if you go to the second challenge with me” he smirked, getting his hopes up.

You scoffed “Looks like I’ll have to skip this class then.” You turned your back on Fred, walking away from him, leaving him to feel frustrated and pissed off.

Missing out on the challenge, you went through everything you needed to buy for the baby and everything you would need to learn to make sure you were the most amazing mum. You were content with your decision to keep it, that little piece of Fred you could nurture forever.

With Harry succeeding down to moral fibre, you knew there would be endless parties tonight - Fred fucking another girl, probably getting her pregnant as he did you, just to not remember and move on to the next girl.

You loved him so much, but you hated him at the same time.

Feeling yourself finally doze off to sleep, the lights in your doom room flicked on, and heavy feet thundered into the room, startling you and waking you up. Your best friend and her mini group brought the party to you, holding a bottle of fire whiskey with your name on it.

“Get up Y/N!” she yelled, jumping on your bed and bouncing, the other girls cheering and laughing in the back.

You clutched onto your bump, the potion wearing off as it did in the night.

Sitting up in your bed, your best friend got on her knees, opening the bottle and shoving it in your face, the scent of the drink you swallowed down like water making you sick to your stomach - reminding you of the night you had too much.

“DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!” Your friends chanted.

“No!” you hissed “I can’t!”

The rim of the bottle hit your lips, and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“I can’t!” you yelled, silencing them “I’m pregnant!”

The girls stopped and stared at you, fire whiskey spilling out of the bottle and onto your bedsheets. Your heart thumped, your best friend’s eyes were wider than you had ever seen.

“Y/N is having a baby!” Katie squeezed in excitement, jumping on the bed, clapping her hands.

Thanks to Katie, the shock dissipated, and your friends were now supporting you, rubbing your back as you cried, and going through the list of baby things you needed: clothes, nappies, bottles, food, a crib, a pram. They were more excited than you, already arguing over whether it would be a girl or a boy, and who would be the better auntie.

They had a feeling that you didn’t want to tell them everything just yet - and luckily enough, they didn't make you, for now - they just wanted you to know that you weren’t alone, that you were surrounded by help if you ever needed it.

Fred stumbled into his dorm room, fire whiskey on his lips, and red lipstick marks on his neck. His brother George, and friend Matt sat on their beds and glared at him, the two of them looking so angry Fred was convinced they were going to rip his head off.

Fred shrugged his shoulders and got into bed - he had the worst night imaginable - every girl he kissed wasn’t you, his heart didn’t mend - it just broke even more, and from what he gathered - you and George were seeing each other behind his back.

He closed his eyes, drifted off to sleep, and met you in his dreams - holding you close, and swearing that he would never let you go.

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[princessofcurses]

[2] Take it.

Part 1 Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader Written from the perspective of Sukuna content warning: out of character, curse words, cigarette smoking, mutilation (quick and heals right back), blood, oral (F receiving), virginity lost, squirting Word Count: 4.4k If you like it, please leave a like and/or reblog ♡

The next night, she was sitting on the goose feather stuffed futon I had gotten for her yesterday. She was reading a book about the Big Three Vengeful Spirits while one of my servants painted her toenails. She told me to pick a color, and I picked a dark red like the color of blood. I got a kick out of seeing my choice on her toes. I took a seat beside her.

“Maybe I should get a pedicure too.”

“Get a manicure while you’re at it.”

Wait, did she say that because I was fingering her last night? Ugh. My servant flinched after Y/N had talked back to me. They were shocked and had bowed and ran off as soon as they finished with her nails, hoping to evade punishment I would usually give to someone (and those around them) who disobeyed me. But they would have no effect on her. The little brat has returned. I remembered her face as she was cumming hard around my fingers yesterday. Can I have her back? We hadn’t talked about yesterday yet but now was a good time to.

“What’d you think about last night?”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N.”

She gave me a coy smile and then stuck her tongue out at me. I wanted to grab her chin and kiss her. I wanted to do last night all over again. I wanted to finally put her in her place.

“It was okay.”

Okay? She fucking cried while cumming and it was just okay? She gives me a headache. I don’t know what to do with her.

“Why did you cry then?”

She brought her hand to her mouth and chuckled.

“I’m trying to figure that out too.”

She shrugged. I sighed deeply. I needed to solve her and unravel the mystery.

“For a moment, I felt like I was yours. And I didn’t like the feeling of upsetting who I belonged to.”

I felt a heat in my chest that traveled downward and made my stomach drop. Y/N actually felt true remorse for being a cocky brat, if only for a moment. I wanted to own her and call her mine. It did feel like she was mine when I touched her. I wanted to keep her by my side. I could pleasure her for as long as we live and I could train her to be my good girl too. I never thought to have a Queen, but she would be perfect.

“Don’t get the wrong idea. I came back to my senses after I finished cumming.”

The image I had of us together in my head shattered by her crass words. I’ve never struggled this much to get something I want. I couldn’t stand it. She knows what she’s doing to me. I’m sure she’s teasing me.

She pulled out a packet of cigarettes and I looked at it with disgust.

“You can’t smoke here.”

“Fine.”

I blinked and she had vanished. She wasn’t in the shrine anymore. I went outside looking for her. I followed the scent of smoke and found her standing upon the highest point of the building. She smoked her cigarette nonchalantly.

“You’re disrespecting my dwelling.”

“What? You said I couldn’t smoke in there so I went outside!”

I sighed out of exasperation and my palm met my face.

“You’re so frustrating.”

We stood in silence together. She took a long drag and closed her eyes.

“Well… it was one of the best fingerings I’ve ever gotten. Like top three!”

One of them? She’s trying to piss me off. But I wouldn’t doubt she’d bring up the ‘hundreds of women I’ve slept with’ comment if I said something.

“To be honest, I really wanted you last night. I was aching for something to fill me up. I called out for you in a moment of weakness but I decided to stick by my words.”

My head perked up in interest. So she does want me. That’s valuable information.

“I mean it though. I’m not going to have sex with you. When I lose it to another virgin, let’s talk.”

She laughed and was about to leap down. I grabbed her wrist to keep her with me for a moment. She froze as we made eye contact. She could see how serious I was about wanting her but after a few seconds, she disappeared back into the shrine. I hated how easy it was for her to brush me off and I was crushed I had no chance with her. I couldn’t let her get away. There’s no way I would ever meet another woman who can be my equal in battle and is able to resist me. There must be something I can say or do to show her that the past doesn’t matter, that I would make her my whole life right now.

After a few moments alone to strategize, I followed her back inside.

“Let me lay with you.”

She shook her head.

“There isn’t enough space for you.”

“Just move over. I bought this anyway.”

“You bought it for ME.”

She pouted but then scooted over. I spooned her and took in the pleasant fragrance of her hair. She seemed to be ignoring me, opting to pay attention to her phone instead. Whatever.

I slowly moved my hand to her thigh and touched her softly.

“What about foreplay?”

“What?”

There was annoyance in her voice. We both sat up to face each other.

“I mean, you’ve had it before so I’m not taking anything from you.”

She put her hand to her chin and looked up to help her think, though she already knew what she was going to say.

“I don’t want to.”

“Is it because of what happened in the past, Y/N? What does it matter now? That was all before I met you.”

She shrugged with an arrogant smile on her face, knowing she had the upper hand here.

“I told you of my conditions.”

I put my head in my hands out of frustration. This was the last thing I could think of trying.

“I’ll cut it off.”

She gasped with concern but then bellowed out a laugh.

“You would really do that just to have sex with me?”

“Huh? Uh…”

Fuck. I made it an option now. What did I just do? Is it really worth it? I started thinking about her small mouth around my cock and how I would have to do some extensive training to get it to fit down her throat. I wanted to practice however many times, and as long as it would take. Was this the only way? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. My thoughts were in a frenzy but I collected myself to say calmly.

“Yeah. I would.”

What the fuck. She has the most devious look on her face right now. She actually wants me to do it.

“I mean, you can use reverse cursed technique.”

The fucking brat. Her smug smile made me want to choke her out. I made a promise to myself that I would get her back for this if I get the chance to fuck her.

“It’s still going to hurt like hell. And be very disturbing.”

“I’m here for you.”

I won’t forget her mocking of me. She’ll get hers soon enough. I stood up and let my kimono drop to the floor. My dick was already hard and she eyed it through my briefs with an interested look on her face. She looked up at me and our eyes met. I swear I saw her subtly bite her lip. She then watched intently as I slowly took my briefs off, my cock popping right out of them. I’m sorry, buddy. We’ve been through it all together. This is fucking ridiculous.

“Can you promise me something, Y/N?”

She broke her concentration from my dick to reply to me.

“What is it?”

“Will you make me regret this?”

Her mischievous smile concerned me.

“No.”

That was sufficient for me. I leaned over to kiss her and our lips met. I didn’t expect her to be willing to but she wanted to comfort me. Her lips were soft and warm and they reminded me that what I was about to do would be worth it. Right? Why can’t we just fuck right now? Ugh. Let’s fucking get this over with. I used my cursed technique to cleanly cut it from the base. I dropped to my knees, using one of my hands to support me. The pain was intense and the sight of my dick falling to the floor made me want to throw up. Blood spurted everywhere and I was coughing up blood. Y/N stared in shock and amusement, like she couldn’t believe I had actually done it. I began to heal my dick and it grew back in several seconds. She covered her mouth and looked a bit disgusted but more intrigued.

“It’s done.”

“You’re crazy.”

“You really don’t know how much I want you.”

“Oh, please. It wouldn’t take you long to forget me.”

“How could I forget you after what I just did for you?”

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. I shook my head while I put my briefs and kimono back on. I brushed myself off and got down to lay my head in her lap. She petted my head while I was still recovering from the traumatic severing. She ran her fingers through my hair and lightly scratched my scalp with her nails. I couldn’t exactly say what I was feeling right now. It’s something I haven’t felt before.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing all of this for me.”

The snarky tone left Y/N’s voice and was replaced with a softer one for a bit. I looked up at her to meet her gaze. She brushed her hand across my cheek and then she traced the markings on my face with her index finger. Her touch was so soothing but it sent shivers through me at the same time.

“There isn’t another woman out there like you.”

She scoffed.

“How cliché.”

I sat up to face her.

“I mean it. I consider you my equal. There are very, very few people I can call my equal and I’ve killed most of them already. If I could kill you, I would’ve done so by now. But your technique neutralizes mine so I can’t. The next best thing is to make you mine. You’d be the perfect Queen for me.”

She stayed silent and we had a staring contest. She didn’t seem too impressed by my answer. I continued on.

“I could give you last night every night and much more. I’ll figure out exactly what you want. Mentally, physically, sexually, materially, everything."

She looked curious. I had to slowly chip away at her walls to bring them down. She is the strongest female Jujutsu sorcerer after all. She doesn’t need me but I could be everything she wants.

“Let me prove it to you.”

I outstretched my hand for her to hold. She hesitated but once she grabbed it, I kissed the back of her hand and I pulled her into me between my legs, with her back to my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and put my mouth to ear. I breathed lightly by her earlobe and whispered to her.

“I could be yours if you’ll be mine.”

My words sent a chill down her spine. I kissed her ear and gently took a fistful of her hair in my hand to tilt her head for easier access to her neck. I made sure not to be rough with her yet. I would ease her into it. I gave her soft kisses down her neck to her collarbone. She squirmed a bit, and she told me that she’s especially ticklish there. I followed the same trail with my tongue and she shivered.

“Do you want to know what else I can do with my tongue?”

Y/N nodded and I positioned myself in front of her. I spread her legs and went eye level with her cunt. I rubbed over her clit through her panties with my thumb, noticing how warm she was. I slipped her panties off and took a good look at her pussy. Beautiful. She had also waxed completely. I hadn’t noticed yesterday since I was only fingering her. Was she anticipating this moment? Has she been playing hard to get this entire time? Well, I’ve been waiting for this too, darling. She blushed and tried to cover her pussy with her hands.

“Don’t stare at it so much. It’s embarrassing.”

I smirked at her.

“Fully waxed, huh? And I bet you taste so good. Move your hands.”

As she exposed herself for me, I licked my lips and dove in. I gathered my saliva in my mouth and spat it right onto her clit for lubrication. Her face went red and she put her hands on her face out of self-consciousness. For a brat with a big mouth, her shyness right now surprised me. My tongue flicked up her clit a few times and a soft moan escaped her lips. I took the sound as an okay to go faster. I licked up and down at a steady pace. I brought my tongue down to her opening and I stuck my tongue in and out of her cunt. Her legs started to tremble.

As I focused my mouth on her clit, I moved up my hands under her dress to play with both of her nipples. She wriggled beneath me as I rubbed them between my fingers and she pushed herself closer to my mouth. I bet she could feel the smile I had on right now so I quickened the tempo. My tongue started at her opening and I licked slowly all the way to the top of her clit and then I changed to a quick up and down motion. I picked up the subtle movement of her cunt clenching into itself, signaling that it was time to add my fingers into it. I teased her orifice where her arousal was collecting. I lightly went over it without entering her. I made eye contact with her and she covered her face again.

“What happened, princess? Do you want me to stop?”

“No.. I want more, please.”

She spoke meekly. The smile I wore had a bit of conceit behind it. I had gotten her so vulnerable.

“Because you asked so sweetly.”

I inserted my middle finger slowly and she immediately tightened around it. I groaned feeling how tight she was. Fuck.

“That’s too tempting.”

I pulled the skin of her mound up to expose her clit completely. It had grown swollen and was obviously begging for attention. I wasted no time continuing my rapid licking. My up and down motion turned into circles which turned into licking one spot on her clit in particular and then moving to another spot, and remembering which places were her favorite. Throughout this all, I fingered her excruciatingly slow.

“I think you’re ready for another finger. Is that okay?”

“Yes, Sukuna!”

She had answered me just as I finished my sentence. I grinned at her maliciously. I finally had her exactly where I wanted. I added my ring finger inside of her and the two fingers alone filled her up. Her pussy tightened around my fingers repeatedly. I was getting restless. It wouldn’t be much longer until I can stretch her out with my cock. I fingered her slowly at first, but then I hooked my fingers upward and pressed that perfect spot at a leisurely pace. This elicited a loud moan from her and she pulled at my hair.

With my come hither motion with my fingers and my tongue licking away at her clit, her moans filled almost every other second. I brought my lips to her clit and sucked lightly. I then kissed up and down her folds before putting work on her clit with my tongue again. Her legs shook uncontrollably.

“Hold your legs back for me.”

She held her legs back by her thighs so I had even easier access to her. I sneered at her.

“You’ll do whatever I say?”

She nodded timidly. My goal was to pleasure her so much that she submits to me. It was working.

“I’m training you well, aren’t I? Look at me.”

She hesitated, probably embarrassed at what was happening down here. She made eye contact with me and I had on a devious smile while I licked her clit. She ran her fingers through my hair, feeling my undercut and then tugging at the top. She looked down at my tongue swiftly licking at her clit and my fingers entering and exiting over and over again. She was mesmerized. As we stared into each other’s eyes, I knew the sexual gratification was overwhelming for her. She felt filthy witnessing what I was doing to her and the pleasure on her facial expression made it obvious that she loved it.

“Sukuna, I want to cum..”

I chuckled haughtily.

“Go ahead. I give you permission to.”

Our eyes were locked on each other. She wanted to hold back and last a bit longer to savor the moment for just a few more seconds but she was at her limit.

“Right there!”

She cried out. I didn’t waste any time in giving her exactly what she wanted. She winced and closed her eyes shut, preparing for the orgasm she was about to have. I lightly slapped her on her cheek to make her regain focus.

“Fucking look at me.”

She opened her eyes to see mine glowing red. She had on that worried face she makes when she’s about to cum. The feeling crept up on her and then it hit her harshly. She gasped hard and then she began to gush. Her moans were still loud even though she was breathless and convulsing. I raised my head and began to chuckle again. My face was drenched in her juices. I slapped her cunt a few times, eliciting a yelp-like moan from her.

“Oh? Has anyone ever made you squirt before?”

She panted for air and shook her head. I went face level with her and pet her head with a warm smile.

“Good.”

I felt the heat radiating from her cunt. She was ready.

“So what should we do now?

“I want more..”

She spoke quietly and apprehensively.

“What? I couldn’t hear you. I won’t ask you to speak up again.”

My forbidding facial expression took hold of her, telling her to do as I say, now.

“I want more, Sukuna! Please give me more!”

“What do you want exactly?”

“I want.. your cock!”

I looked at her with a wicked smile that betrays all purity. I quickly undressed and she bit her finger at the sight of my dick. She was still holding her legs back for me and I grasped my cock and lined it up with her entrance. I gave her a couple of slaps to her cunt with it and then I rubbed it over her clit. She took in a short and deep breath, feeling some of its thickness and weight but before I entered, I leaned in close to her ear to tell her something.

“Your innocence is mine.”

Y/N’s expression had a bit of fear in it but she had no objections. With that little warning, I thrust myself fully into her, burying myself in her soaking wet cunt. She cried out in pleasure and in pain.

“Good girl.”

I said arrogantly as I slid my cock out slowly just before the exit, then thrusting back into her at the same agonizing pace, getting deep into her and feeling her cervix on the head of my cock. She was unbelievably tight. Her breath was labored and she let out her sultry moan that I loved hearing, all the while we made intense eye contact. Her eyes were wide with lust, her mouth was open, and her face in pleasure from me filling her up was exactly what I’ve been waiting to see. I stuck two of my fingers in her mouth and she immediately began swirling her tongue around them and sucking on them.

“You know, I don’t think I would’ve been able to tell that you were a virgin if you didn’t tell me. You’re so willing and I can tell your tongue is experienced.”

Her face went ruddy and she hid it with her palms. I moved her hands out of the way and gripped her neck.

“No need to be embarrassed about giving yourself up to me.”

I snickered and quickened my pace inside of her, the loudness of her moans egging me on. I tightened my grip around her throat and felt her clench hard around my cock, not wanting to let go. She put her hands on my wrist to hold onto. I groaned at how tight she was. At first, I thought for a second that I wouldn’t be able to fit inside of her but she’s such a good girl. She was taking it with no complaint even though I knew she was feeling some pain from a feeling she’s never felt before inside of her, stretching her walls and bumping into her cervix again and again.

“I could only dream about how good you would feel but it’s better than I could ever imagine. I want this every day.”

I’m not sure if she heard me over her moans. I might have to remind her later. I fucked her hard and fast, rolling my hips while thrusting into her. Her moans sounded like purrs. My little kitten. She meowed at me.

“Please, Suku. More..”

“I know, princess. Don’t rush me.”

I found her nickname for me very adorable. I smiled at her sinisterly and then I licked my thumb to lubricate it. It then found its way to her clit. I rubbed it up and down, matching the pace of my thrusts. She cried out her moans and her legs began to shake violently. I put them over my shoulders to stabilize her a bit more and my cock got even deeper inside of her. She winced and I pressed my lips against hers. The kiss was heated and passionate, our tongues meeting over and over. She moaned into my mouth and I couldn’t help but groan back.

I pulled out abruptly. She gasped and spoke with urgency to me.

“Don’t stop, please!”

“Let’s switch positions.”

She nodded obediently and I sat down.

“Sit on my cock.”

She quickly got up but took her time sitting on my dick, gradually taking the entire length inside of her. The warmness slowly enveloped my cock and I breathed out heavily. She let out a long moan as she took all of me inside of her. I began thrusting up to fuck her. She began to whine about how good my cock was and I made a mental note that she really loves this position. I firmly took a fistful of her hair and leaned her head back, leaving love bites on her neck that began to turn patches of her skin red and purple. I was marking her as mine.

Y/N could hardly speak. Besides moaning, she said my name over and over again, sprinkled with pleases and mores, and yelling out curse words. I loved how submissive she became. The more I pleasured her, the more she let me do whatever I wanted to her. All the trouble she put me through was worth it. I licked my index and middle finger and used my spit as lube to rub her clit. Her moans turned into wails and she buried her face in my shoulder.

“It’s too good, Suku.. I’m close..”

I composed myself to speak normally to her.

“Yeah? Are you going to cum on my cock?”

The filthy words I spoke to her forced her to orgasm. She cried out for me and wrapped her arms around my neck. She leaned her head back and her face in pleasure made me want to cum right at this second. I continued thrusting in her while rubbing her clit, not giving her a break even though she had just climaxed. She whimpered, feeling overstimulated.

“Just a little more, Y/N.”

I kissed her deeply and held her shaking body, slowly and almost romantically fucking her.

“Where do you want my cum?”

Her eyes went wide. She thought for a few seconds. Her already flushed face went even redder.

“What is it, princess? You can tell me anything.”

I was about to lose it. She opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t get the words out. She was a bit too occupied with the pleasure I was giving her. I tapped her cheek a few times to bring her back down to earth. I spoke with a bit of a harsher tone.

“Spit it out, brat.”

She was gathering up courage to tell me where she wanted it. A pressure was building up in her chest, but then she just shouted it out.

“I want your cum inside of me! Please, Suku! Please!”

Her needy whines pulled the rug from under me. I growled as I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly as my cock twitched, coating her walls with my cum. My breathing was labored and my body spazzed out a bit. Trying to catch my breath, we stayed in this position for a while. I held her and pet the back of her head. She’s too good.

“So you can be a good girl. I just have to tame the little brat first.”

“Hmph.”

She pouted at first but then she smiled shyly and stole a quick kiss from me. She stood up and my cum leaked out of her cunt and started running down the inside of her thighs. I wiped some off with my fingers and I stood up and put them into her mouth. She happily licked it up and closed her eyes as if she had tasted something delectable. I towered over her and I held her closely to me, her face buried in my chest. I pulled away a bit and took hold of her chin to tilt it towards me.

“Did you like that, princess?”

Her next words were spoken with a snicker.

“It was okay.”

I smiled at her menacingly.

“Don’t lie to me, darling. I hope you know this is only the beginning. You’re mine now.”

MIGRATING TO A NEW BLOG @baji-san

#sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #sukuna #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen imagine #sukuna imagine #sukuna fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #mine #jujutsu kaisen

[spooderboyandtincan]

You’re Gonna Miss Me

(When I’m Gone)

Read on Ao3

/ST*RKERS DNI/

~~~~~

Tony doesn’t know why he’s so nervous.

That’s a lie. Utter bullshit. He’s lying to himself. Tony knows exactly why his heart is fluttering in his chest like he’d run a marathon, why his chest struggled to rise like there was twenty pound weight rested on it. 

Though to be fair, when he made an anonymous donation of a meager 50,000 dollars to Midtown Science and Technology, he hadn’t expected Peter’s decathlon team to put in a request to the school board to travel abroad, and he definitely hadn’t expected the school to immediately approve it. He thought they’d use it to replace the sudsy water in the bathrooms they called soap with the real stuff or some shit, not whisk his kid away to Vienna for a whole week where Tony couldn’t even hug him, couldn’t protect him. 

Peter is thrilled, though. Ecstatic. When he’d broken the news to Tony and May, he’d been over the moon with excitement, his round cheeks flushed pink and his eyes gleaming. Even two weeks ago, Tony had felt a deep sense of apprehension kindling in his chest, but with the date seemingly so far away, he’d pushed it to the back of his mind. 

He wishes now that he’d done something. He should have told Peter he couldn’t bear to be without him like he was an actor in a cheesy soap opera (it was true, he couldn’t); tell Peter he needed him on a “mission” that would mysteriously be canceled. Though they’d probably end up taking a plane or a suit to Vienna anyways (despite what he liked to say to Rhodey, he was not at all immune to Peter’s puppy eyes); hell, he should have purposely tripped on the stairs and broken his leg so Peter, sweet, kind, empathetic Peter, would immediately decide to stay by his side where Tony could keep him safe.

He missed Peter when he was at his apartment in fucking Queens, thirty minutes from Stark Tower. He didn’t know how he’d handle having him 4,222 miles away. He didn’t know if he could.

“Damn,” he hisses, pushing himself from his bed with a grunt and making a beeline towards Peter’s room. He dashes in. The sight of his sleeping son (read: lump of blankets) is enough to take his breath away.

Tony had missed him. It had been four hours since he’d tucked him in and kissed him goodnight, and Tony had missed him. Peter was fifteen feet away. 

This trip is going to be the death of him. He’s going to drop dead of a goddamn heart attack before Peter even gets on the plane. 

Tony sinks carefully onto the mattress and rests his hand on the boy’s neck, some deep, parental instinct in him immediately soothed by the slow, steady beat of his pulse. Peter is curled under the thick blue blanket, only his chestnut curls visible which are tinged blue from the Iron Man nightlight on the wall, his breath puffing out in those little snuffling snores that Tony absolutely adores. 

He leans down to kiss his temple, inhales the familiar scent of his favorite strawberry shampoo and is overwhelmed by the wave of infinite love that washes over him. He loves this kid so much it sometimes hurts. 

Leaning back, he smooths his thumb over Peter’s cheekbone. He doesn’t want to leave the boy’s side. He doesn’t know if he physically can. Maybe asleep Peter has somehow sensed this, because there’s a small mewl from the bundle of blankets, and two bleary doe eyes flutter open. 

“T’ny?”

“Hey,” Tony whispers, running a hand through his curls. “Hey, jellybean. Sorry I woke you up.” Peter rolls over with heavy limbs and rubs his eyes with a fist in a childlike motion, yawning in a way that resembles all those yawning kitten videos he’s made Tony watch. 

God, he’s adorable, Tony thinks. His heart is melting. He’s so small, so young. Tony feels an instinctual, almost uncontrollable urge to protect this kid, to wrap him in his arms and keep him from harm for the rest of time. 

Peter is oblivious. “‘S… s’okay,” he mumbles. His hand sneaks out of the blankets and tugs on his arm lethargically, which the genius knows is sleepy Peter language for “cuddle with me.” Tony chuckles fondly and slides under the covers.

He props himself up on an elbow and gazes down at his beloved boy, stroking a finger down his cheek. Peter smiles sleepily up at him from his assortment of pillows. “Hi.”

His face splits into a wide grin. “Hi, Pete.” 

Peter frowns at him then, a sudden change from his drowsy, half-asleep state. “You… you ‘kay? Wha’ time’s it?” He tries to sit up, but Tony hushes him gently with a “Everything’s okay, bud, just a typical 2am visit from your friendly neighborhood Iron Man.”

He smiles, so Tony counts the joke as a win. It’s not one of his best, but hey, forgive him if he’s a little anxious about his kid going to another fucking continent. 

(He refuses to acknowledge that it’s not just being away from Peter that’s stressing him out, it’s the fact that anything could happen to him while they’re apart.)

Tony looks back to Peter, opening his mouth to talk, only to find that he’s completely conked out. He balls up the sleeve of his sweatshirt and wipes the line of drool tracing down the boy’s chin away, finding that a soft smile has formed on his face, the one that only makes its appearance around Peter.

Peter snuggles into him the second he lies down, resting his curly head just over his heart. Tony wraps a protective arm around his back and rubs small circles on his soft blanket hoodie. “G’night,” he whispers, bending to kiss the top of his head. “Sweet dreams, baby. I love you.”

He can feel Peter’s heartbeat thumping steadily against his chest- can hear his soft kitten snores. The warm weight of his body is so comforting that for a moment he thinks that maybe, just maybe, this trip isn’t going to be the end of him. That everything’s going to be okay.

~~~~~

Peter’s starting to regret eating all those waffles for breakfast. He feels shaky all over, like he could collapse or throw up any second. He’d told Tony he was going to pop in the bathroom, but he’s been in there for at least ten minutes, settled back on his heels on the cold, grimy floor of an airport bathroom, trying to breathe properly.

Speaking of Tony, he can hear the man just outside the door, typing on his phone and sipping from a cheap cup of coffee. Peter immediately experiences a hot flash of guilt, realizing that he must have grown worried while he was gone. 

Sure enough, the door swings open and there’s a soft knock. “Pete? Everything okay, bud?”

Peter stands up and unlocks the stall. “Tony,” he sniffles, taking an unsteady step forward. Tony rushes forward and gathers him in his arms

“Whoa, hey, hey, you’re okay,” he says gently, rubbing a hand up and down his back. “You’re okay, Pete. Breathe, just breathe, bud. It’s okay.”

“I don’t-” Peter whispers. “I don’t know, Tony, I-I wanna go, but I can’t, I don’t know w-what to do.” 

“Breathe, honey. It’s okay, I’m here, we’ll figure this out, okay? You just gotta take a breath, alright?” 

Peter tries- fails. Tries again, and manages to gasp a breath in. “Sorry,” he croaks, when he can properly breathe again. “Tony, I-I don’t-”

“It’s okay,” Tony murmurs, squeezing him tight. “Nothing to be sorry for, Pete.” After snatching a paper towel and soaking it in the sink, he runs the scratchy cloth over Peter’s face and kisses his forehead when he’s done. “Okay, bubba. You wanna go back out or stay in here?”

“Out,” he replies without hesitation. The flickering white lights above are starting to give him a headache, not to mention the leaky faucet and the freezing tile floors and the faulty air conditioning. Tony leads him out with an arm around his shoulder and guides him to a little nook, where they both plop down on a neon green beanbag. 

“My parents died in a plane crash,” Peter whispers. 

Tony squeezes his shoulder. “I know buddy. I’m sorry.” Unlike a lot of the “sorries” Peter has heard, this one is sincere. Sometimes he forgets that Tony is an orphan too. 

“I- I mean, logically, I know the plane won’t crash,” he continues, “But I guess it’s still hard for me to believe that. Like a- a gut feeling?”

The man nods in understanding. “I know how you feel, kiddo. I was terrified of cars after my parents died- I took the subway everywhere despite the paparazzi bloodhounds.” Tony doesn’t broach the subject of his parent’s deaths often, especially not in a crowded public airport, so Peter makes sure to pay attention. 

“Then, the fear just kinda… vanished.” He wiggles his fingers dramatically. “I started driving without even thinking, didn’t realize I was in a car ‘til I got on the highway. I had to pull over when I did, but since then, I’m perfectly fine with cruisin’ at 80 mph. But,” he says seriously, meeting Peter’s eyes. “I think you should listen to what your gut’s tellin’ you, buddy. It’s important to listen to yourself- what inner you is saying.” He pokes Peter’s belly a couple times for good measure, which makes his face scrunch up adorably. 

Peter nods, and really tries to listen to his gut. The pair both go silent in concentration, and then- his stomach grumbles. They both burst into laughter, born more from nerves than hilarity.

“Inner you wants to eat,” Tony snorts. “I think I saw a place with the biggest blueberry muffins of my life by the escalators, wanna stop there?”

Despite eating a huge stack of waffles just hours earlier, Peter wolfs down two of the gigantic blueberry poppyseed muffins, much to the amusement of Tony.

They made their way to the gate, where Peter’s teacher, Mr. Harrington was lounging, dressed in an ugly red sweater, his long legs stretched in front of him. 

“Peter!” he cried as he spotted them, scrambling to his feet. “Thank god, I was beginning to think I had the wrong date! We’re leaving today, right?”

“Oh, yeah Mr. Harrington, we’re going today!” Peter laughs. He’s used to dealing with his scatter-brained teacher. “I’m actually here early, the plane’s supposed to leave at 1:00.” He gestures vaguely to the big digital clock over his head reading 11:54 AM, EDT. 

Mr. Harrington frowns. “I thought it left at 8 am! You mean I’ve been here for hours in this awful chair when I could have been sipping a piña colada in my jacuzzi?!” He collapses back in his chair and pulls a sleeping mask over his eyes with a sigh.

“Sorry, Mr. Harrington,” Peter chuckles, then pulls Tony to a row of uncomfortable seats in the corner of the waiting area. 

They sit in comfortable silence for a bit, just watching the various travellers rush past. A little girl, around two or three, comes up and shyly asks for Tony’s autograph, but no one else recognizes the genius. (Thanks to his foolproof disguise of a baseball cap and scarf covering up his iconic beard, the genius claims.)

“So, what are we thinking?” Tony asks after about half an hour. “Do you wanna go?” He secretly hopes Peter will say no, hopes that they can go home and binge watch all of the Star Trek episodes and fill their bodies with junk. 

Peter nods hesitantly. “I think so. I-is that okay? I might change my mind, but- yes. Yeah, I think I want to go.”

 Tony squeezes his hand. “Of course it’s okay baby, that’s perfectly fine. If you change your mind, you know what? That’s great too. Whatever you want, that’s what’s important.” He kisses Peter’s forehead and lets his hand linger for a moment where it rests on the boy’s cheek. “If you change your mind at any point, I’ll come pick you up, okay?”

“Thanks, Tony,” Peter breathes, slumping heavily against his side.

“Of course, bud. Anything for my Peter.” 

They stop for lunch at a cozy little coffee shop, which is thankfully devoid of fans and paparazzi. Peter orders (or rather, makes Tony order) a small hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows and whipped cream) even though drinking a lot before a non-stop ten hour flight is probably not the best idea. (He can’t help it. He’s nervous.)

When the pair gets back to their gate, they find Ned and his family. The boy’s greet each other enthusiastically, performing their signature handshake, while Tony simply throws up a peace sign to Ned’s rather stunned parents. 

The friends pull out their phones -probably playing one of those ghastly animated games that Peter is always quoting. Tony pretends to look busy on his phone, but really, he’s just trying to distract himself from the terrifying fact that he’s not going to see Peter for a week.

Too soon, the speaker crackles, a crisp voice announcing, “Attention. We are now boarding flight 367 nonstop to Vienna, Austria. Now boarding flight 367 nonstop to Vienna, Austria.”

Tony’s heart stops. Peter freezes. 

No, they think at the same time. Not yet. 

Peter turns to Tony, panicked. “Hey,” the man says, pushing away every anxiety, every worry away so he can focus on his kid. He sees Ned approach them, but stop when his father places a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. Breathe, baby, it’s okay.” 

“Tony.” Peter wraps his skinny arms around his waist. 

“I know, baby, I know.” Tony kisses the top of his head and hugs him close. “Follow my breathing. You’re okay. We’re good.”

Around them, the members of the decathlon team are rising, but Tony and Peter sit in those unforgettable chairs, clutching each other tightly, not yet ready to let go. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” Peter whimpers. 

“I know kiddo, me too. I’m gonna miss you so much, but I’m always gonna be here, okay? If you need me, just call, or text, use morse code, doesn’t matter. I’m always here for you.”

“I’m here for you too,” Peter says. “I- I’ll call you every day.” Peter’s bottom lip is trembling, just barely, but enough for Tony to hug him a little tighter and kiss his forehead. “I love you, Tony,” he sniffs.

“I love you too, Pete. I love you so much.” Tony’s not crying. He’s not. The restaurant a few stores down is just cooking onions, that’s why his eyes are watering. 

Peter pulls away and grabs his duffel bag, taking a step toward the loading dock. Tony tries not to burst into sobs. Stay, his mind whispers. Please stay. 

Then Peter turns around, eyes full of tears, and slams straight into Tony’s chest, hugging him so tight he can barely breathe. Tony rocks them back and forth, cherishing everything about his sweet boy. When they finally break apart, Peter says, “I’ll be back before you know it,” echoing what Tony has said to him so many times before he leaves for a business trip. 

Then he smiles a watery smile and runs to catch up with his best friend. Just before he disappears into the loading dock, he turns around and waves wildly at Tony.

Tony waves back, grinning. “I love you,” he mouths.

“I love you too!” Peter mouths back, and steps into the dock.

“I love you,” Tony whispers, hastily wiping the dampness from his eyes. “I love you, Peter.”

~~~~~

/ST*RKERS DNI/

Taglist: @aj-that-person @tonystark-deserves-better @nathaly-ab @skeeter-110 @peter-and-tony-vlogs @teammightypen @joyful-soul-collector @loveliestdisappointment @depuella @scwene-qween @honeythepooh @pixiethefirecat7 @spider-man-lover @jami161 @bringitonvoldie @queen-of-sarcasm-25 @roxy3457 @memilon @iron-loyalty @gralaca @bitchingpretty @pillowspace @thatminecraftgal @clockworkteacup @hatakehikari @wtfischeese @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @skydiving-without-a-parachute @yansi1923 @slytherin-hamilton-life-12  @dead-inside-pt2 @name-me-regret @zanderljones @spidy8664 @hold-our-destiny @tinystark-blog @bittersweetbeneath

If anyone wants to be added/ removed please let me know! (also, i think i missed a few people, and a few usernames have been changed, pop me a quick message so i can add you again!) 

#chapter 1/2 #peter parker #tony stark #ned leeds #anxious thoughts #panic attacks #peter parker needs a hug #peter parker gets a hug #tony stark needs a hug #tony stark has a heart #tony stark acting as peter parkers parental figure #other tags to be added #no st*rker #st*rkers dni #my writing

[lucyintheskywithxanax]

The Night Shadows Watching The Darkness Approaching

Pairing: Wilhemina Venable x Fem Reader

A/N: oh look, another fic in which Wilhemina cries :) This one has been sitting in my drafts for months because somehow I couldn’t let it go. It’s short and sad and I hope you’ll like it. x

Title from Come On Out by The Airbone Toxic Event.

Word count: ≈ 1 900

Something woke you in the middle of the night to find the bed empty. You reached out; the sheet was cold. Squinting in the dark, you made out the outline of Wilhemina’s pillow, creased, and of the door, half-opened. Somewhere in the house a light was on. You sighed.

You got up and walked through the darkness towards the light. It came from the living-room, whose door was slightly ajar. You took a peek inside.

Wilhemina was lying on the couch, hands folded on her stomach. Her eyes were closed and her face was contorted with pain. You noticed the bucket she had placed on the floor at arm’s length, in case the pain became too much, too much to bear just too much and she would have to throw up. Let it out one way or another.

You watched her for a minute, swallowing hard. Your heart clenched painfully in your chest. It tended to do that often, since you had started dating Wilhemina.

You didn’t want to embarrass her, so you knocked on the door and waited, to give her time to compose herself. When you eventually walked in, her face was completely blank, if only slightly pale.

“Hey,” you called, forcing a smile. “You’re up late.”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Her voice was calm. “Go back to bed.”

You crouched by the couch, staring up at her. She was avoiding your gaze, resolutely scowling at the ceiling.

“Did you take your meds?” you asked after a while.

“I’m not stupid, Y/N,” she snapped.

You frowned, but didn’t snap back. Instead you rested your chin on the couch and waited.

“What can I do?” you asked.

“Go back to sleep,” Wilhemina repeated. This time, the words were uttered through gritted teeth.

“I meant to help you feel better.”

“I’m feeling perfectly fine.”

“Mina.” Her eyes flicked to your face before she scowled back up at the ceiling. “I’ll go get the hot water bottle,” you said.

She was exactly in the same position when you came back. It seemed to you her face was even paler than before, and you saw her chin tremble, once.

“Here, can you prop yourself up just a bit?” you asked gently.

She didn’t move.

“This is stupid, Y/N,” she said.

“Mina, you know it’s not. Heat really helps ease the pain. It does wonders when I have period cramps. Please.”

Carefully you helped her sit up, placed the hot water bottle on the couch, and helped her lie down again with her head in your lap. You laid one hand on her arm and gently stroked her hair with the other. “Are you feeling sleepy at all?” you whispered.

She shook her head.

“Do you want me to sing something to you, to help you pass the time?”

You had done that before, once or twice, when she had come back from work particularly pissed off. You loved to sing, and you had noticed how your voice always seemed to help her relax, even though she would probably never admit it.

“Suit yourself,” she answered in a slightly strained voice.

You thought for a second, combing your fingers through her hair. “Take my hand,” you started, voice low and soft, “take my whole life too.” Wilhemina scoffed. You held back a smile. “For I can’t help falling in love with you,” you whispered, poking her ear playfully.

Wilhemina reached for your hand on her arm and laced her fingers with yours. “Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be.”

You gently rubbed her forehead, just as your mother used to when you had a headache. Ran one finger down her nose, patted her upper lip. Her chin trembled again. She blinked several times, swallowed.

“Mina?” You waited until she met your eyes. “It’s okay to cry when you’re hurting, you know?”

She scoffed, gave you an angry look, but her eyes immediately filled with tears as if a dam had broken.

“I won’t judge you, or think you’re weak.” You paused, gulping back tears of your own. “I think you’re so very strong all the time.”

You ran your finger over her lower lip, then up her cheek to catch a lonely tear. Wilhemina blinked quickly, raised her free hand to wipe her eyes. “I’m fine,” she said in a firm voice.

You knew how she hated showing vulnerability. She had only ever cried once in front of you. The first time you had held her close. Her body pressed against yours, her face buried in your neck, one of her legs trapped between yours, your arms wrapped tightly around her. You had heard her breath hitch and just like that she had burst into tears. As if no one had ever held her before.

You leant forward and dropped a kiss on her forehead. There was that sadness in your heart you couldn’t quite get rid of.

Wilhemina shifted to readjust her position. You combed your fingers through her hair again, gazing at her face, trying to think of something to say to try and distract her from the pain.

“Did I tell you about that article I read the other day?” you said eventually. “It was so very interesting. Some guy wrote ten pages on the Placebo effect. I didn’t know much about it.”

You rambled on, telling her about what you had learnt, until she suddenly interrupted you in a quiet, dull voice.  

“My parents told me it was all in my head, too, the first few times I complained about my back pains. More than the first few times, actually. They told me I should quit being a baby and work at being stronger. When they finally took me to a doctor, it was too late to do anything about it.”

Your fingers froze in her hair.

“How long?” you asked in a breath. “How long before they took you to a doctor?”

It took her too long to answer. In the silence you heard your heart break.

“Three years and a half.”

You felt like punching something. You felt like screaming. You could have, could have jumped to your feet, could have knocked over the coffee table, thrown the bucket at the wall. But anger wasn’t what Wilhemina needed right now. She had been so alone. Never again, you promised yourself. You’d lasso the stars and bring them down and give them to her so she would always have company when you were gone.

“Go to bed,” Wilhemina repeated.

You kissed her mouth. “Not without you,” you murmured into the kiss.

She let out a small noise and lifted her head to claim more of you. She was being too harsh, too clumsy, teeth drawing blood and lips sucking on the wound, but you let her. You were grateful for the pain, for it made you feel closer to her.

One of her hands came up to tangle in your hair. “I won’t be weak,” you heard her whisper, voice angry, as her mouth launched a new attack on yours. Her nails dug into the nape of your neck. “I won’t let you rip my strength from me.”

Somewhere far away a clap of thunder growled. Wilhemina bit your upper lip. “I see what you’re trying to do,” she hissed. “Using tenderness to try and break me but I won’t let it happen, do you hear me? You won’t win. I’ll break you first.”

“Wilhemina,” you whispered – pulling away, panting, and pressing one hand on her chest to pin her against the couch.

“I’ll break you and I will scatter all the tiny pieces of you so no one after me can ever assemble them again.”

“Wilhemina,” you repeated. You leaned forward and planted a kiss on her forehead.

She tried to push you away, rejecting tenderness, she tried to sit up; her fingers wrapped around your hand that held her against the couch and clawed viciously at your skin.

“I will destroy you,” she hissed.

“Mina.” A kiss to her brow. A kiss to her nose. Her lips parted on a shaky breath like the last breath a soldier draws on a battlefield.

You removed your hand from her chest and held it out in surrender. “Go ahead, then. Destroy me. I don’t mind. It’d kill me to lose you anyway. So, one way or another, you win.”

You smiled at her. For you meant it, every word of it. And it felt exhilarating. It felt like you had finally found home. No matter how dark and scary the place, no matter how full of lethal traps. You would choose her, over and over again, for no one else would do.

“Go ahead,” you repeated, laughing. “Destroy me.”

You grabbed her hand and wrapped it around your throat. Something in her eyes changed. She seemed to hesitate.

“What are you waiting for?” you cried, squeezing her fingers; you could feel your own elevated pulse through her flesh. “I’m ready. Choke the breath out of me. What are you waiting for?”

It was starting to hurt, your head was starting to buzz, but you didn’t care. You had rarely ever felt so alive.

“Stop it,” Wilhemina whispered, her eyes growing wide. She tried to free her hand from your grip, but you held it firmly around your throat.

You leaned towards her. “Don’t let me undermine you. Claim back your strength. I don’t want to rob you of what you hold dearest. Do it!”

“I said, stop!” she cried, wrenching her hand free; she turned her head to the side, and bit her lip as fresh tears spilled from her eyes.

You watched her, your whole body burning and quivering from the excitement and the love and the passion. Wilhemina gasped in a breath, wiped her cheeks fiercely. She shifted a bit, nuzzled the back of the couch, looked askance at you.    

You waited a few minutes before you started combing your fingers through her hair again. She eagerly leaned into your touch.

Another clap of thunder, louder, closer. You laid your free hand on Wilhemina’s cheek at the sound, almost protectively, felt her warmth build under your fingers. She turned her head to kiss the inside of your palm and whispered, “Hold me.”

And then she was sitting up, tears dropping from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, and she wrapped her arms around your waist and pressed her face against your shoulder and let out a broken sob.

You closed your eyes against the sting of tears, holding her close, trying to make her shift so her back would be as straight as possible but she pushed deeper into you, clutching the back of your shirt, hair tickling your neck.

“I don’t care,” you heard her say, small and muffled. “I don’t care. Just – hold me.”  

And you did. For you had only ever seen her cry once before, the first time you had snuggled up to her, your body pressed against hers, one of her legs trapped between yours.

You held her, and stroked her hair as you listened to the thunderstorm roar in the sky, tear at the clouds and rip them to shreds and howl in pain, and then, slowly, subside.

#ahs #ahs imagines #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #wilhemina venable #fics

[yunhofingers-writes]

Alone- Yeosang (FWB)

Note♥︎- This is part two to FWB! i remember @yeotlny mentioned something about me adding a part two to this and so i did it hehehehe.. Please i don’t write angst so this was pretty much my second time trying this. .As always if you want to be added to my taglist, here it is

Genre♡︎- Angst

Warnings/Tags♥︎- Mention of sex, grinding, cheating, Sad life man

Pairing: Yeasang X F | Wooyoung X F!

Word count♡︎- 1871+

❥- You ran home with tears in your eyes, regretting everything. Your heart hurts just thinking about everything that happened. Your boyfriend was always so sweet to you, always treated you right, gave you everything you wanted, loved you the way you’ve always wanted and you ruined it all.

You’re a cheater and have been for 2 months. You would still kiss your boyfriend’s lip even after you blew Yeosang somewhere. Yeosang was your best friend, and your fuck buddy. It’s always been that way since college.

At first, you were just his friend who had a pathetic little crush on him. Your crush has been carrying from freshman year until junior year in college when you had the guts to finally tell him. He frowned at you and wouldn’t have talked to you for at least 2 months. You spent those 2 months crying and working on yourself. Bettering yourself.

Yeosang finally came back to you the moment you were willing to find self love in yourself, the moment you were happy again. You had some words to tell him.

He asked to speak with you first and you were ready, or so you thought. The moment you stepped into his house, you were pushed against the door by Yeosang. His lips were kissing all around you, bucking his hips into yours. Your mind is only thinking of one thing: your crush is trying to have intercourse with you. He let go of you and looked into your eyes “Do you want to do this with me for real?” He asked and you nodded quickly.

You woke up in his bed the next morning, thinking you both were a couple. His exact words were “look, yesterday was fun, but I would rather us just be friends. I'm not ready for a relationship.” There went your confidence you spent months working on.

There was nothing that could fix your sadness, not even your bestest friend, Mingi.

Surprisingly, you were the one who ran back to him, kissing him. You were the one who told him ‘let’s become friends with benefits

Of course with some hesitation, Yeosang agreed.

A year later, you found your boyfriend, Wooyoung. You two were so happy together. He always did what he had to for you to be happy. He loved you like no other, gave you all of his attention and loyalty, unlike you.

Not even two month in the relationship, you cheated with Yeosang. You just couldn’t get over Yeosang and his cock. He fucked you too well for you to run away that fast, to walk in general.

Today was your breaking point, you felt so bad at how easily you walked in the house like you did nothing behind his back. He would kiss you, cook for you, run your bath, everything to make you happy. You were just treating him like trash.

Yeosang bringing up Wooyoung in your sex session today has made you realize you were a horrible girlfriend. You cried until you got a headache.

You know what you have to do. Wooyoung deserves better and a better girlfriend.

You spent the rest of your night crying until you went to bed.

You woke up in the worst mood ever. You didn’t even want to check your phone at all, but you knew you had to.

You checked it and saw that you had 20 missed calls from Wooyoung, 1 missed call from Yeosang, 12 missed calls from Mingi, and 2 missed calls from San, Wooyoung;s best friend.You panicked, not knowing what to do. San never calls you. you were scared

You felt that it was less stressful if you called Mingi back, so that was what you did.

“Hel-“

You didn’t even get your words out before Mingi started storming off on you.

“What did we talk about already huh? You promised me you were going to leave Yeosang alone! And what happened? You got yourself in some shit. I’m not helping you this time, you’re on your own.” Mingi nagged and you started crying.

“Mingi- please I don’t know what to do.”

“Uh uh- maybe next time actually try to listen to me, okay? I’ll be here if you need a shoulder to cry on, sweetheart.”

You ended the call with one question on your mind.

How the fuck does Mingi know? Wait-

You quickly called San and to your misfortune, he answered.

“I’m disappointed in you. I told you not to hurt him, and that’s exactly what you did. You should be ashamed of yourself for this horrible behavior.” San told you, voice light.

“That’s not what I called you for though. Wooyoung said ``meet him at his house now.”

Before you asked any questions, he ended the call.

Now you were really panicking. Your body felt super heavy.

This was all your fault. Everything was your fault and you knew that. You just weren’t ready to actually take accountability for it.

You wanted to run away and never look back.

You were regretting everything.

You shouldn’t have done anything with Yeosang.

You got ready for the day as slow as possible, not looking forward to it. You wondered if you could just sleep your problems away and ignore everyone. You know you can’t. You can’t run or sleep away from everything.This is your mistake and you must own up to it.

No matter how many times you tell yourself this, you know it’s not making you feel better.

+

You walked to Wooyoung’s house, slowly of course, thinking about all of the laughs you shared with Wooyoung, the kisses, the hugs, the small gifts you use to give each other unexpectedly. Everything was ruined quickly with a snap of the finger all because you wanted dick..

pathetic..

You hate yourself right now.

You really lowered your standards to someone who doesn’t even care about your happiness. Someone who only thinks of having sex with you, nothing else.

Why would you do that to yourself? How could you do that to yourself?

You squeezed your eyes together tightly, trying to see if you’re dreaming. You have to be, there’s no way you’re not dreaming.

You opened them and were in front of Wooyoung’s house. You nervously knocked on the door 3 times. You hoped he wasn’t here so you could run home.

Your stomach dropped down when you heard the door opening. So this was happening right now..It was time for confrontation and honestly, you were nowhere near ready.

Wooyoung was staring through your soul right now. You fiddled with your fingers, suddenly finding the ground entertaining.

“You can come in.” You winced at how cold his voice was. He sounded like he hated you and you couldn’t blame him.’

You were just confused on how he even found out.

You tried to shake your nerves off as you walked in the house, surprised to see Yeosang sitting there, smirking at you. “Hey.” He waved.

You nervously waved at him and sat down on the chair next to him, across from Wooyoung.

“I’m going to ask you this once.”

This is really happening right now.

“Did you cheat on me?”

You looked down and gnawed on your lip. You didn’t want to look him in the face. You didn’t want to see him sad, you didn’t want to see him angry.

“Well?!” His voice raised a little higher and you jumped. Yeosang just looked, daydreamed.

“I did.” You cried out. Tears streaming down your face endlessly. You felt so bad. Your heart hurts

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung looked away, jaw locked.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Wooyoung pulled at his hair and walked away.

“I knew you were doing something sneaky behind my back. I just couldn’t pin-point it.”

He walked back to you, eyes glossy. “I would’ve never thought you would’ve been the one to cheat on me. What did I do wrong? Was I not good enough? Did I not give you everything you wanted?”

You thought you were crying earlier, You’re balling now.

All you could do was apologize to him. You can feel his heart shatter right in front of you and Yeosang.

The unanswered question was finally answered.

“Yeosang sent me a video.”

Your eyes widened and you looked at Yeosang who wasn’t paying you no mind.

“He told me that he felt bad he was fucking you while i was waiting for you.” His tears dropped

You watched as Yeosang nodded.

“I want to break up.” He had his eyes closed as he said his statement.

You saw this coming. You just weren't prepared for it. at all.

You nodded your head, and looked back down, embarrassed that this is all happening in front of Yeosang, upset that he was the one who snitched and got away, and overall disappointed in yourself for letting yourself down like that.

After all of these years of being hard on yourself, not having self love and having to build all of that, you’ve learned nothing.

You deserve everything that just happened.

You can’t even be mad at Yeosang. You deserved it all.

“Was this fun to you?!” Wooyoung harshly questioned, showing you the video of you and Yeosang’s last sex session. You watched, defeated.

“Was it worth our relationship?” He was harshly wiping his tears. “I thought we were something. I didn’t know that sex affected our relationship that bad.” He shook his head, finally ready to accept defeat and go on with his life.

“Don’t say anything, just leave, both of you.” He walked to his door and slowly opened it.

Yeosang got up first, bowing and walked out with you following.

Once you both left, you turned him around. He faced you with a blanked face.

“Why did you do that?! I wanted to do it on my own. I didn’t fucking need your help.” You spat out

He rolled his eyes and pushed your hand off of his shoulder. “You’re just as wrong as I am. You came to me first with your ‘yeosang, i’m horny’ ‘yeosang touch me please’ ‘yeosang he can’t fuck me like you’ bull shit and now you want to cry because you got caught in your bullshit. We’ve been fucking for 2 months without your poor boyfriend knowing. I don’t want to longer fuck a cheater. “ He stood still, dark eyes piercing through yours.

“But you were with me in this.” You cried harder.

“And now I'm not. If you’ll excuse me, I have a date to go to today.” He brushed past your shoulder and your eyes widened.

A date?

Is this why you outed me? So I could get out of your way? So I could lose my relationship? Or because you simply thought it was entertainment?”

Yeosang turned around with a loud sigh, getting frustrated at you yelling at him. “I’m ready for a relationship now, I no longer want to have play time with you anymore. It’s your choice whether you accept it or not but you will respect it.”

That was his last words to you before completely moving out of your life.

You ruined everything.

You have nothing, nobody.

You were alone now.

Alone.

End

Krusty crew: @serialee @galaxteez @multidreams-and-desires @a-soft-hornytiny @yeotlny @lizsvcks @build-a-roleplay @moonxteez @yeosang99 @yunsangoveryonder @twancingyunhoe @seongsangsgf @chvngbxn @ki6hyun @latte-fairytaekwoon @sansbun @little-precious-baby @ateezappreciation @yutasyiddiepiercing2 @empenguin01 @violetwinters @its-bsma @underratedmisfit @sourmist @lunarteez2

Network Ping: @8makes1teamnet

#8makes1teamnet #yeosang angst #wooyoung angst #ateez angst #kpop angst #angst

[falcqns]

the art of mending a broken heart

Pairing: Henry Cavill (Enola Holmes era) x Reader

Summary: After a long day on set, you explode at Henry, with unintended consequences.

Warnings: angst, fluff, first kiss, hints of beginning of ddlg relationship, self care

the art of mending a broken heart

it had been a long 19 hours. 19 hours of sitting in your stuffy and uncomfortable Victorian era clothes, filming Enola Holmes. You had been here since 5 am, and it was nearing midnight. You hadn't eaten since 1, maybe 2? The exact time didn't matter.

Your back, legs, ankles, and feet hurt, you felt an exhaustion headache coming on, and were insanely thirsty. You were all around done.

Thankfully, you were on your last scene of the day. It was a kissing scene with Henry, and the director said it wouldn't take longer than 30 minutes to film.

But, when you arrived to set, you knew that wouldn't be the case. 

Henry had been there just as long as you had, but he was extremely giggly and happy due to being so tired, instead of angry and emotional. You had begun to avoid him around 5 pm, when he couldn't stop poking you and laughing loudly while you were trying to go over lines.

The second he saw you, he ran over to you, and hugged you. 

“I missed you,” He whined.

“Well, if you hadn't annoyed me to the ends of the earth I wouldn't have avoided you,” You said. He chuckled, and pulled away when the director called the two of you over.

The scene was blocked quickly, and you moved on to filming.

There was no dialogue, and all Henry had to do was pull you to him, and kiss you. That’s all.

But of course, he was absolutely delirious, so nothing went right. 

Either he would pull you so hard that you almost knocked him over, or you’d be halfway through filming the kiss, and he’d burst out laughing, which caused everyone else to laugh.

You, however, weren't laughing. You managed to hold it together, until the 17th take.

He pulled his lips off of yours, giggling and you lost your mind.

“WOULD YOU FUCKING STOP!” You screamed.

He looked at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

The director, noticing how you were feeling, called action once more, and this time it went smoothly.

He pulled you to him correctly, and didn't laugh when he kissed you.

The director yelled cut, and said that you two were done for the day. You immediately stormed away from Henry, attempting to hold yourself together. 

As soon as the door to your trailer closed, you were sobbing and pulling off your costume. 

You had just dressed into your pyjamas, your grey sweatpants and a yellow sweatshirt, when Henry came storming into your trailer, still dressed as Sherlock. 

He said nothing, but pulled you to him, and pressed a crushing kiss to your lips. You didn't have time to kiss back, because it ended as soon as it started. 

Now, it was his turn to yell at you.

“DON’T BE SUCH A FUCKING BRAT!” He screamed, and he stormed out.

Immediately, you started sobbing once more. You grabbed your purse, and headed out.

You never stopped crying. You cried the whole way home, when you were getting your water bottle ready for the night, and even when you were laying in bed.

You tried calling your mom, but she just said that you were exhausted and needed sleep. You wanted to text Henry, but wanted to give him time to cool down.

He wasn’t faring much better. He had managed to get him and Kal ready for bed before he broke down. He flopped down on the bed, and motioned for Kal to jump up beside him. Kal usually slept on his own bed, which was actually a toddler race car bed, but Henry needed his comfort.

Kal snuggled himself next to Henry, his head resting on his chest. 

Henry didn’t know why you acted like that, and wondered if he should check on you. He heard you start to sob the second he walked out of your trailer and regretted yelling at you like that. 

He picked up his phone and called you, but you didn't pick up. 

“Hey, Y/N,” He said when the voicemail beeped. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. God, I feel horrible and I know you're upset and I hate that it’s because of me. I’m sorry for forcing myself on you like that, I shouldn't have. Baby, please call me back,” He said, accidentally calling you baby.

He hung up, and drifted off to sleep wishing he was holding you in his arms instead of Kal, as much as he loved him.

You woke up the next morning and listened to his voicemail. Your stomach fluttered when he called you baby, and as much as you wanted to call him back, you were still hurt from the way he yelled at you.

He had never yelled at you before. You had known each other almost 8 months at this point, and he had never even gotten annoyed at you. 

You opted not to call hum back, and spent the rest of the day in bed, occasionally breaking down in tears when you saw something that reminded you of Henry.

You were thankful, now more than ever, that filming was taking a two week break. You didn't have to worry about facing Henry for two whole weeks, and you were very happy about that. 

The first week of the break was rough. Whenever you became bored, you found yourself reaching for your phone to call him, but always caught yourself in time.

Henry however, didn't stop texting and calling. He wanted to make sure you were okay, and the more you didn't respond, the more worried he became. 

It was Friday night, and he had had enough. Thankfully, one of his brothers were in town, and offered to watch Kal so he could sort things out with you.

He texted you to let you know he was on his way, and wasn't surprised you didn't answer. 

The second his car was turned off, he was running towards your apartment block. 

He pounded on the door, and became anxious when you didn't answer. He tried calling you, no answer. He tried texting you, FaceTiming you, hatred everything. You didn't answer.

He was running his hands through his hair, and wondering what to do when he remembered you had a spare key under the rug. He grabbed it, and let himself in.

Your apartment was oddly quiet. Usually you had YouTube or Netflix playing, since you hated silence.

He took his shoes off, and nervously made his way to your bedroom, scared of what he would find.

He opened your door gently, and saw you in a lump under your covers, asleep. 

He approached you, and lifted the covers off of your face. His heart broke. 

It was painfully obvious you hadn't stopped crying since he yelled at you. Your eyes were so swollen, he was amazed you were able to even see. Your cheeks were also red and swollen from you wiping them constantly. Your lips looked dry and cracked as well.

He ran his hand through your hair, in an attempt to wake you up so he could apologize. Your eyes opened, and immediately welled up with tears when you noticed him.

“H-Henr-” Was all you managed out before he cut you off.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” He said, pulling you out of the bed and onto the floor. You landed in between his legs and his arms wrapped around you, squeezing you to his chest. His hand ran up and down your back, and into your hair in an attempt to soothe you. “I am so sorry I yelled at you like that. I didn't mean it, angel,” He whispered, unable to keep his tear at bay when he heard you grip his shirt and begin to sob again.

He unraveled himself from you, and pulled you to stand with him. 

“Honey, have you left your bed at all this week?” He asked softly, not wanting to  upset you further.

You shook your head. “Only to go to the bathroom and eat a little.” 

He smiled and lifted you up, carrying you to the bathroom.

“Let’s get you into a nice bubble bath, and some food into you okay?” He said, as he sat you on the counter.

You nodded, watching him move around the bathroom.

He filled up the bathtub, and adding your favourite lavender bubble bath. Once it was full he turned to you.

“Okay, love. Get undressed, and call for me once you're in okay? I’ll take care of everything.” He said, giving you a smile before he pulled you into a comforting hug.

You nodded, and he left the room.

You got yourself into the warm and inviting bath, and called out for him once your body was hidden by the bubbles.

He walked back in and sat next to you. 

“Sit up, sweetie, so I can wash your hair,” he whispered, reaching behind you to grab your shampoo. You sat up, and crossed your arms in front of you, and pulling your knees to your chest. You barely had any energy, and just wanted to sleep, but you knew Henry would rest until you were taken care of.

Henry gently found a bucket you had for when your little siblings where visiting, and began to wet your hair.

As he massaged your shampoo into your scalp, your eyes drifted shut.

“Baby, you need to stay awake.” 

You shook your head in defiance. “Too tired.” You breathed out.

“I know, sweet girl, but I’m almost done okay?” He said. You managed to nod.

He finished up quick, and pulled the plug on the tub before telling you he’d go and get you your clothes for you. He placed a fluffy towel and your robe beside you before he left.

Once you were all dry in your robe, you ventured out to where Henry was. He had pulled out a t shirt and shorts for you.

“I thought I’d let you pick out the rest,” He said. He walked closer and pulled you into a hug.

“I’m going to go and make you something to eat, okay?” He whispered. You nodded and watched him give you one last smile before he left the room. 

You quickly got dressed, and headed out to the kitchen. He smiled at you when you walked in, but it quickly faded when he saw truly how tired you were. 

He walked over to you and picked you up once more. Your head immediately went to his neck, and you nuzzled into his warmth. He carried you over to the counter, and sat you atop it, allowing you to keep close to him, while he cut up strawberries for you. 

He tossed the cut up strawberries on to your plate with you grapes and other assorted food. 

He lifted you again, and took you to the couch. He turned on Brooklyn Nine Nine for you, and quickly returned with your food, and a glass of what you assumed to be milk. 

He sat down next to you and tugged you into his lap. You protested slightly but he immediately shushed you.

“Let me take care of you, okay?” He whispered and you nodded. He placed the plate in your lap, and eyed you carefully to ensure you were eating. You finished half the plate before reaching for your milk.

Taking a skip, it was surprisingly warm. You downed it quickly before curling up into Henry.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” You whispered. “I’m sorry I yelled at you like that.” 

He moved your head to you could make eye contact with him. 

“No, honey, I’m sorry for yelling. I didn't realize you were so tired and emotional. I’m so sorry sweetheart,” He whispered, and pressed a loving kiss to your forehead. “I’m also sorry I kissed you like that. I don't know what came over me, other than I was mad and I needed to kiss you. I never wanted you to feel uncomfortable. I really do apologize.” 

You shifted more.

“I liked the kiss. I was annoyed because I thought I was doing something wrong while we were filming and that it was funny to you. When you kissed me in the trailer, I wanted to kiss back, but you didn't give me a chance, that’s why I was crying,” You said, tears welling up in your eyes once more.

He tugged you closer, and pressed another, more gentle kiss to your lips. Your stomach fluttered, and you immediately kissed back. 

You went to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away. “Not yet, baby. Let’s go to bed, okay?” He whispered in your ear, and you nodded. 

He stood the two of you up, and you headed into the bedroom. 

Henry never let go of you. He kept you there, in his arms, all night, and all of the following day.

You knew things weren't back to normal, but they were getting there, and as long as you had Henry, you'd be okay. 

#henry cavill #henry cavill smut #henry!holmes #enola holmes #ilovehim

[celestialrry]

unrequited? (pt.2)

part 1!

1.5k

summary: Harry learns a few things, and you do too.

warnings: borderline unhealthy alcohol consumption, angsty for most, fluff 

It had been a few weeks since you told him to leave. Did you regret it? You weren’t sure to be honest. Harry needed to face up to his actions and you were the one who told him to call you when he would actually say sorry and mean it, and well, you expected a call the next day. It was stupid, and obviously he wouldn't call you that soon, right? 

What he said really hurt you and while your response was justified, you kept thinking about how you could have been a little nicer. Maybe he would’ve called sooner, maybe you wouldn't have even told him to leave, and maybe you would be happy. Because let’s be honest, you were a certified wreck. After you had shut the door behind him you poured yourself some more wine, turned on his albums and cried. So much so, you woke up the next morning because you could barely breath. 

During the first week, you thought he would call you, or at least show up, or do something. It was a full week, the longest the two of you had gone without talking and it was strange. There was no bi-weekly calls to look forward to, no texts that convinced you that maybe he did like you more than a friend, no him showing up at your door with a cheesy smile and pajama pants on. It was radio silence, even online, no one had spotted Harry, and you didn’t even know if he went back to Malibu or not. 

During the second week, you were tired of waiting and almost called him yourself to apologize for kicking him out and practically yelling at him, granted he did it first even though to you that didn't matter anymore, but you didn’t. You convinced yourself you had enough self control, and it paid off. No longer were you itching to text him when you heard his songs on the radio or after you saw a sweater you think he would really like. You were getting back into your groove and no longer moping around because he’d call you at the end of the week right?

Wrong. When you reached the third week, you still had an ounce of hope. He had to miss you, maybe not as much as you craved him, but he had to at least think of you during the day, same as you did him. Those thoughts didn't last long when you arrived at the end of the third week, and as you sat at a bar with your friends on a Saturday night, you didn't want to drink to have fun anymore, you wanted to drink because you needed to to numb the pain, if only a little bit. And it worked, because when you woke up the next morning you forgot the night before. You found yourself itching to have a glass of wine Sunday morning, because maybe it would make your headache go away. You didn't though, and instead opted for some ibuprofen and a bath. 

So here you were Wednesday of the fourth week since you stopped talking to him. Your best friend, your protector, your joy, and your love. You sulked when you went to work and you were sulking when you got back, you were sulking when you set your bag down, sulking when you went to the couch, and sulking when you heard your phone ring. 

You sighed, rummaging through your bag and grabbing it, clicking the accept button, too tired to even look at the name. You probably should have though, because when you said “Hello?” you weren’t expecting to hear your name in a voice that you recognized all too well. 

“Harry.” you swallowed, your heart starting to beat faster in your chest. 

“Y’told me to call y’when I could apologize and tell y’why I got so upset that day.” He said, a bit shakily through the phone. 

“Yeah, I did.” You trailed off, waiting for his apology. That had to be why he called, but your brain was expecting him to say “Well m’not sorry, I just wanted you to have closure, so, goodbye.” Because even when breaking off a friendship Harry would want the other person to have closure, that’s just who he is. 

But those words didn't leave his mouth, and instead you heard, “Can y’open your door?” 

You didn't respond and walked over to your front door, opening it to see him standing there with Chinese takeout boxes and chocolate, his phone held up to his ear. You had to stop your jaw from dropping and opened the door wider, hanging up your phone and stepping to the side to let him in. 

He hung up the phone as well, sticking it in his back pocket before walking in your flat, and setting everything on your kitchen counter. He turned to you as you shut the door, eyes practically glued to your figure when you made your way to the other side of the kitchen counter. 

After a few beats of silence he spoke. “M’ sorry,” He said your name firmly. “ I really mean it. I know I was n’absolute arse and yelled at you, and I shouldn't’ve done that.” 

You pursed your lips, taking this moment of silence as your place to speak. “It really hurt Harry, what you said about working, because I know you’ve had it hard, but that doesn’t mean you can compare struggles. And I still have yet to know why you yelled at me in the first place.”

He but his bottom lip and ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit that you coincidentally picked up on. “I know, I was jus’ really upset, and that's no excuse and m’sorry, I shouldn't’ve have compared that, I know you go through things too, that wasn't fair of me.” 

Damn right it wasn’t, you thought.

“I came over because y’kept ignoring m’calls and barely answerin’ m’texts. I was concerned, and I should’ve been more vocal about that. I thought somethin’ was wrong so when I came over and y’were drinkin’ and watchin’ T.V. I got mad-”

“Just because I wasn't sitting on my couch sobbing my eyes out, doesn't mean nothing was wrong, and if you actually asked, maybe you would know.” You interrupted him. 

His mouth gaped open and he ran his hands through his hair again. “God, m’so so sorry, something was wrong n’I left you, m’so sorry,” He apologized, slipping your name in.

“M’stupid, and y’didn’t deserve any of this, but if you let me, I’d really like to make it up to you.” 

You sighed, running your hands through your hair. “I accept your apology H, but that doesn't mean everything is gonna be fine now. I’m still upset.” 

He bit his lip trying to contain the smile that was dying to break free across his face. “I know, I know. Thank you, I love you.”

You repeated it back to him and then he had asked to give you a hug to which you nodded your heads and basked in the warmth of his arms and chest that you didn't realize you missed so much. The two of you ended up on the couch talking and eating the Chinese food he brought over. 

“So what was wrong, when this all started, I mean.” He asked, taking a sip of the water you gave him. 

Uh oh.

“It was nothing.” You brushed it aside. 

“Don’t give m’that, you ignored m’because of it, so somethin’ was wrong.” He frowned at you. 

“God Harry, we were fine like two seconds ago. I told you it’s not a big deal.” You said, starting to get a little fired up.

“You can't just shut m’out again, we need to talk-”

“I’m in love with you!” You bursted out, tears falling from your watering eyes. “I thought if I ignored you then my feelings would go away but they haven’t, not even after you didn't call me for weeks.” You put your head in your hands, praying that this was all a dream. 

Harry was stunned at this point. You were in love with him? With him? He said your name, prompting you to look up, your lips formed in a pout with tear stained cheeks.

“I didn't call y’cause I thought y’wanted space. It was killing m’to ignore you, pet. If I knew you felt the same I would’ve sat outside your door for weeks.” He softly smiled at you, ring-adorned hand cupping your cheek, while his thumb wiped your under eye. 

“The same?” Was all you could ask. He felt the same way you did? He felt the same? He nodded and brought his other hand to cup your other cheek. “M’in love with you as well.” 

You immediately leaned forward and pressed your lips against his. It didn't last long, but you both pulled away, smiling at each other. 

He pecked your lips once again before sighing in contentment. “I’ve been wantin’ to do that for forever.” 

I literally started posting stories yesterday and they've gotten sm love already 😭 I wrote so many then deleted them all on another app months ago bc I just never had the guts to post until now so thank youuu <3

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff

[cloudy-leonhart]

Independent Together (PART 2)

[Authors Note: it kinda took me a bit of time to write the second part, I didn’t like the first time I wrote it so I remade it lol.]

[Summary: A month had passed by since the incident, the survey corps seemed so different since then, waking up in pain, Reader woke up just in time, as the survey corps comes back from an expedition.]

Pairings: Poly!Hanji, Poly!Miche, Poly!Erwin, Poly!Levi, Poly!Nanaba x Reader.

Theme: Angst/Fluff.

TW: Swearing, Reader was in a coma, for a bit.

Recommended Song: If The World Was Ending - JP Saxe, Julia Michaels.

part 1 here!

[gif rightfully belongs to owner.]

It’s been a month. One month, you were still asleep, one month since the incident, there wasn’t a day where one of your lovers weren’t by your side, Levi held your hand and fed you food, he doesn’t consider the mixed mush food much but he fed it to you anyway, so you didn’t starve in your sleep.

Erwin came to check on you late at night, he would do his work by your bedside, holding your hand in one hand and reading his work in the other. Whenever he had the free time, he would come and visit you, he did his best to make you comfortable, even if you didn’t know it.  

Nanaba and Mike used to go together until they decided they want time alone with you. Nanaba would come in every time they had meals, everyday, for a month, she had her meals with you and only you, while you laid healing, she told you stories about how amazing her day went, or how much she misses your hugs and your comforting kisses. 

Mike would come and see you whenever he can, he would bring flowers that would remind him what you smelled like, he holds your hand and places soft kisses on it, he stays quiet during the whole thing, sometimes sleeping beside you. He wonders when you’ll wake up all the time, he asks the nurses for any update, whether that’s you waking up or you moving for a millisecond in your sleep.

Hanji comes almost every fifteen minutes, the nurses have to kick them out sometimes, everyday like Nanaba, they would share stories about their discoveries, it can be something as small as a new flower, or a new habit of titans, Moblit did think it was a bit weird seeing Hanji being in your room rather than doing some of their crazy experiments. 

Although they have one thing in common and that’s wondering if you’ll ever wake up, no matter how many times Levi comes and feeds you or Nanaba washes you with a rag or just make sure you’re healthy, it seemed like you were never going to wake up, it scares all of them, they held their expedition as far as they could, knowing that the higher-ups would be angry at them, but they couldn’t help but be selfish for once. 

The sleepless nights with the whole group, Hanji would sleep in Levi’s quarters or Erwin’s because you weren’t there to cuddle with them anymore, Levi always grabs two teacups instead of one until he realizes that you didn’t brew tea like you did for him every morning and his mood is ruined after. Erwin can’t do his work properly without reminiscing how you would give him back hugs and snuggle your face into the crook of his neck.

Mike and Nanaba would always be together because Nanaba couldn’t spend twenty minutes away from you without crying. They were trying their best to be strong and set an example for their cadets, but with every day you were unconscious, the more they break, every cadet could see it and they too, felt bad about how restless their superiors looked.

---

It was another day, you’ve been stuck in a black abyss for what seems like forever, you couldn’t open your eyes, you couldn’t move your body. You listened in your little head while every one of your lovers talked to you. You tried hard to wake up and tell them you’re okay, but you gave up and let yourself rest, maybe if you let yourself rest you’ll be able to move as soon as your body’s got the energy.

So everyday for a month, you listened to the stories of Hanji and Nanaba, you listened to Levi’s scoldings, you listened to Erwin’s pleas for advice on what to do, you listened to Mike’s quiet smooches on your hand. 

You were a little bit curious on why any of your lovers were yet to come and visit you, it was uncomfortably silent, you were sure that breakfast was almost finished and Nanaba was yet to come and tell her about any stories, you felt your hand twitch, you realized your body was waking up and you tried your best, to get up as fast as you could. 

“ngh..” A sound came out from your mouth, a nurse who was on shift, taking care of you looked over to her side, to see you awake and coughing, she froze for a moment before helping you sit up, seeing you struggle to get up from the frigid mattress used by the infirmary. “Miss Reader! You..You’re awake?” The nurse exclaimed, her tone sounded like she was questioning. “What..What’s going on?” You squinted your eyes, the morning light stung your eyes as a headache pounded over and over again.

You covered your eyes as the nurse checked up on your status, seeing if anything looked out of the ordinary. “I’ll bring you some breakfast, please don’t leave your bed,” She took hold of a metal bowl, rags were in it, you assumed it was used to wash you, “You haven’t left bed in a month and I’m sure your legs won’t be able to carry you after not moving a while.”

You didn’t bother to nod at the nurses warning as you laid back down, your headache to overbearing and the light stung your eyes too much, you covered your eyes with your arm, wincing at the sound of the door slamming shut. 

You waited for a good thirty minutes, before a nurse came back in with a tray of food, you sat up painfully as the nurse placed the tray on your lap, greeting you goodbye and leaving the infirmary to give you privacy. You didn’t miss the tasteless soup, but the bread was edible.

You sat in your bed all morning, finishing your breakfast portion by portion, reading a book Levi left from his night shift, you were pretty bored without your lovers, you wonder how worried your lovers are, not knowing whether they’d see your happy smile again or even as such as a glance from your beautiful eyes.

A bunch of muffled hooves galloping broke you out of your thoughts, you looked out of your window, squinting for a few seconds, you recognized your lovers’ horses. You felt your heart quicken, you saw from the dirty fogged window, Hanji’s blurred face, you could tell that they seemed tired, they weren’t as bubbly as normal and that worried you.

You saw someone walk up to them, Levi you thought, his height was unfortunately the first detail you managed to identify about them. You watched as Levi helped Hanji down, you didn’t bother to continue watching as you wanted to feel your lovers’ arms around you again. You stood up from your bed, your long night-gown fell off the bed like a waterfall, following your actions, you felt your legs become wobbly, which you held onto the bedside table to stabilize yourself.

“Miss Reader! Please go back to bed, you’re still weak!” The nurse scolded, seeing you get up from bed, you looked over to the nurse with a pleading expression, “I know, just let me see them, I haven’t seen them in so long.” The nurse opened her mouth to protest before closing it and sighing, she reached a hand beside her, it emerged with a pair of crutches in her hands. “Let’s go, Miss Reader.” Her voice was motherly as she helped you on the crutches. 

You quickly grabbed the crutches, you felt way better shifting your weight from foot to foot while walking out of the infirmary, your nurse beside you to give your additional support just in case. You limped as fast as you could to the nearest exit that lead to the outside of the headquarters. 

You felt your heartbeat fasten with every step, you missed your lovers so much, you couldn’t fight with your excitement as you come closer and closer with the exit, you begged that they would bust into the building, as if a god answered your pleas, it opened, Eren showed himself, aside him Armin and Mikasa, who was mumbling a storm. Eren looked to the side of him to see you, frozen mid-limp. 

“Reader?” He said out loud, Mikasa and Armin looked over to where Eren gazed, “Oh my god!” the trio ran towards you as you braced yourself for the impact, you felt three pairs of arms hug your body, as you winced with how tight Mikasa’s hold on you was. “Reader, the superiors was so worried about you! We thought you’d never wake up,” Armin cried out, “It was so quiet without you.” Mikasa mumbled out, a worried tone in her voice.

“I’m awake now, right? I thought you’d be relieved since there would be no one to help Hanji capture Eren for their experiments.” You laughed, which turned into coughing as the trio still looked at you worriedly. “Oi, Eren, where the fuck are you, did you forget you had cleaning du-” A familiar voice called out, you turned your head towards the voice, your eyes made contact with the cold, steel-like blue-grey eyes you fell in love with. 

“Levi..” You called out, you felt tears start to form in your eyes as he just stood shocked, you were there, standing, you were blinking, breathing. You were alive. He felt overwhelmed, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, Hanji walked in after him, they looked confused as they just stared at Levi’s shocked expression. “Levi?-” Levi pushed through Hanji and stomped towards you, you felt yourself sweat out of worry, he stopped in front of you and lettng out staggered breaths, “I..was so..worried, idiot.” His voice was breathy, as he pulled you in his arms.

The sound of your crutches dropping to the floor made Hanji turn around, they too froze, they watched as you and Levi dropped to the floor with a thud. They felt themselves tear up with you, they couldn’t keep their emotions in, they yelled out, “Reader!!” They cried out, running towards you and Levi, joining into your hug. You laughed through your tears as you nuzzled yourself tighter into Levi’s and Hanji’s arms, you could smell their scents, Hanji smelt like oranges and peonies, a hint of cleaning products, probably from their lab.

Levi smelt like black tea and the smell of soap, you expected it as you scrunched up his shirt in your hand. You could feel Hanji’s tears dropping into your hair, you could feel levi’s hand tightening their grip around your hair. “We missed you so much,” Hanji’s voice was muffled, it was broken and hiccups accompanied their sentence. 

“Mike! Erwin! Nanaba!” Hanji yelled out as you stayed quiet, trying your best to enjoy the embrace Levi and Hanji’s providing you. “Hanji?! What’s wrong?” Erwin’s voice called out, worry laced in his voice, getting closer. “She’s awake! Reader’s awake!” Hanji’s voice broke into joyous sobs as they continued hugging you, you half-laughed as you pulled away from Levi’s neck. You felt your tears stream down your face.

You heard the loud running of the rest of your lovers, Nanaba burst in first, she stopped at the door, panting as their eyes made contact with your teary ones. “Holy..crap. You idiot!!” Nanaba yelled out, not bothering to keep her emotions in as she sobbed, running straight for you, Levi and Hanji backed to the side to not get caught into her tackle towards you.

You let out a yelp as you and Nanaba collided and fell to the ground. She sobbed in your shouders, holding your waist tightly. You held onto her back as she shed her tears onto your night-gown, you didn’t care though, you were just happy you could hold onto Nanaba once again. 

You looked up from Nanaba’s neck, you glanced at Mike and Erwin who let out a sigh of relief as they kneeled right in front of you and Nanaba, you chuckled softly, pulling Mike to the hug and urging Erwin to join.

“I’m sorry for leaving you guys for so long, you look miserable without me.” You laughed out, as they laughed with you. Armin pulled Mikasa and Eren away to give you guys a moment to reconnect and just be with each other. Erwin and Mike helped you up as Levi grabbed you crutches and held onto it. Your lovers led you to a bench and sat you down as they bombarded you with thoughts of worry and love, happiness. 

“You don’t know how lonely we were without you, Reader.” Erwin sighed out, holding your hand tightly as you chuckled weakly, “lonely? I would’ve swore Hanji would’ve been able to bug you as much I did.” Hanji whined at the mention of their name, the vets knew they were supposed to be in their offices doing their work, but you were awake! How could they just greet you and go?

Nanaba let out louder and happier cries as she hugged you tighter, you smiled and patted her head, “There, there, Nanaba. I’m here now so stop crying, or you’re going to dehydrate yourself.” You scolded with a playful tone as you ran your fingers through her hair.

“We’re just,” Nanaba let out a sniffle, “we’re just really happy to see you awake again, it was so agonizing when you weren’t here to respond to me and Hanji’s stories, or when Erwin would—“ a hand covered Nanaba’s mouth, “Okay, that’s enough. I think Reader gets the point.” Erwin tried to save himself from embarrassment.

In which you did honour, by not telling them you heard all of them in your sleep.

“You better bet your ass, you’re never leaving our sights again after this.” Levi called out, leaning against the wall. You sighed softly before putting a smile on, “Reasonable.”

“We’re happy to see you awake and up again, Reader. We love you so much.” Mike kissed the top of your head, getting a slight whiff of your hair, which surprisingly smelled fine even though you haven’t taken a proper shower in a month.

You felt your cheeks heat up a small bit, you held onto Nanaba’s hand as she argued about how disgusting it was for Erwin to put his hand on her mouth, just after an expedition.

You leaned your hair onto Hanji’s shoulder before finally letting your eyes rest a bit, just enjoying your reunion with your lovers once more, finally you mumbled out,

“I love you guys too.”

#aot #aot veterans #aot x y/n #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk x reader #mike zacharias #miche zacharias #levi attack on titan #snk levi #aot erwin #erwin x y/n #hange zöe #zoe hanji #nanaba aot #shingeki no kyoujin levi #erwin snk #erwin x reader #hanji zoe #aot hanji #shingeki no kyojin hanji #aot imagines #sweet.aot #sweet.erwin #sweet.levi #sweet.miche #sweet.nanaba #sweet.hanji

[miridiums-writing]

Barbarian Bakugou x Petite!Villager!Reader

Part 2

Summary ; reader lives in village that is ravaged by bararians, bakugou catches them and finds out they are mates

Warnings ; violence, there is implied sexual assault but it never happens kinda like a passing thought. I never actually state gender though reader does wear a dress, so if your someone who doesn’t like wearing dresses then you might have trouble fitting into the narrative. REMEMBER ANYONE CAN WEAR A DRESS, I WILL HYPE YOU UP. they eat in it, also they eat meat so if you’re vegetarian or anything of the sort you probably won’t relate, Bakugou yes he is a warning.

AUTHORS NOTE ; if you want a part 2 let me know, also if you want a part with a plus sized reader instead of a petite reader let me know. Reading @thetrashywritingwitch gave me inspiration so definitely check them out

Word count : 2k

Barbarian!Bakugou x plus-sized!reader part 1

The village was alight, red ran rampant through the streets, the screams of young and old mixing to create a noise that would give anyone a headache. You were running as fast as you could, no shoes on, trying to pick up your skirts as you ran. You had been woken by a scream and hadn’t thought to put on shoes before you ran to escape the sea of arrows shot at your home. People dragged younger ones through the wreckage, others cried, others shouting for loved ones. Nobody seemed to be left unscathed.

Your feet were in tatters at this point, having ran through rocks and glass to get here. Your only motivation that got you this far, even with the pain you were in, was the orphanage at the top on town. On a slight hill further away from the village, secluded in a way. You hoped against hope the children were ok. You dodged through fire, adrenaline coursing through your veins. You had to make it. You had to keep them safe. Though in your blind panic you didn’t notice the figure stealthily following after you.

You were running up the hill now, twigs that littered the woods floor poking into your poor feet, causing you to slow slightly, but your determination kept you from walking. Just as the orphanage came into sight arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you off the ground. You kicked in attempt to get away, hoping against hope you could escape, get to them. Those kids did nothing to deserve the pain. Your attempts did nothing but tire you more, your hope of escape starting to slip from your grasp. “Stay still dammit” a gruff voice stated. He moved you both back, further into the woods, blocking your view of the orphanage and kept you still.

“Oi Kirishima! Keep those idiots away from the orphanage” He called out further into the woods, not second later a muscular man with spiky hair and even spikier teeth seemed to appear in an instant and disappear just as quickly. With the disappearance of the other man he moved you so you could finally see his face, though his grip on you never loosened. If you were honest with yourself, he was rather pretty. Hard red eyes stared into yours and seemed to judge your appearance as you gaped at him. His blond locks spiked out, much more naturally than the other mans, he had a defined jawline, and a look that screamed danger. In your curiosity you failed to notice how odd this whole situation was. Here you were being held down by an intimidation and rather frightening man, but you felt no fear towards him.

“Found you” he said, looking at you with a smirk as his face moved closer to yours. Just as you thought he was going to kiss you his face moved lower to your neck and started to pepper kisses and nips into the sensitive skin. You tensed in his hold, not sure what he was about to do, and scared for the outcome that seemed inevitable. Just then he roughly bit into your neck, causing you to shriek at the vast difference from what he was doing before and the pain that started to thump against your neck like a drum. When he was satisfied, he started to lick at your neck, no doubt cleaning up the blood. “There, now that’s sorted time to clean you up and get moving” Rather than letting you walk with him he picked up and set you on his hip, like a child. “If you move or cause trouble ill carry you in a more uncomfortable fashion got it” At his threat you tensed once more and nod in agreement. You had no idea what he could do to you and honestly, you didn’t want to find out.

He carried you both down the hill and towards the town, he hadn’t told you his name and didn’t seem in the mood for light conversation, so you stayed quiet, not wanting to anger the man further than he already seemed to be. When you both got back to the village it was silent. A stark difference between the village you had left behind, and it set you on edge. He must have noticed how you had started to shake a little, though he didn’t say anything on it. “Hide you face into my shoulder, quickly” he said, his voice slightly softer than earlier, though it didn’t stop the unease. Just as you opened your mouth to question it, he gave you a glare that made you close it instantly. You ducked your head down into his neck and froze against his side, questions swarming your mind. “right let’s move out” he shouted, his voice seeming even more loud now you were against his neck, making you cringe slightly. With one hand now taking your weight he hoisted onto a horse, repositioning you in front of him to lean against his chest. “Get some sleep, its gonna be a long ride princess”

When you woke you were still in his arms, though you were now wrapped up in a fur coat, keeping you warm from the wind. If you didn’t think about the fact he basically kidnapped you it could almost be sweet. He had positioned you in a way that meant the brunt of the wind was hitting against the fur coat, keeping you toasty warm. He was looking ahead, no doubt keeping control of the horse, though you did notice how he would glance down at you. Due to your position you couldn’t really see anything, giving in to the temptation of going back to sleep for now, who knew when you would be able to sleep again, you let your eyes closed and allowed yourself to relax, your head snuggling into his warm chest.

Your eyes fluttered open at a loud shout, startling you from the fragile sleep you had managed to get. “We’re almost there” He claimed, glancing down at your sleepy form curled into him. Cute. The thought was a fleeting one, but it made him freeze up slightly, he hoped you didn’t notice. This mate stuff was making him soft. The horse abruptly came to a stop and the man carefully picked you up into his arms bridal style. You noticed almost immediately this was much gentler than he had been previously, and honestly threw you for a loop. On one hand this was much nicer treatment than previously, even if he hadn’t been particularly bad, on the other hand what does this entail, does he want something in return? The man carried you inside what looked like a large tent and placed you down on a bed covered with fur blankets and looked rather nice and warm to cuddle up in.

“Look here’s the deal,” he said, sitting down on the floor before you, making your face in line with his. “You’re my mate, kinda like a soulmate, I guess. It’s a feeling. My name’s Bakugou Katsuki by the way. Call my Katsuki though, it’ll just piss me off if you call me anything else. Just, listen to what I say. Ill go get you some food, you look like you need it.” As Katsuki walks away you could hear him mutter under his breath “Skinny as anything” When he had officially left, and you decided he was far enough away you started to look around. The tent was rather spacious, but not to the point it was cold. If anything, it was so warm in here. Like an invisible fire was somewhere in the room keeping it warm. The tent itself smelled like wood pine and honeysuckle, and a hint of caramel, it felt more homely than your old village ever did. You knew you had to think through what he had told you, but you didn’t want to even think about it. Taken away from your home after it having been destroyed by them and he tells you you’re his soulmate and you need to listen him.

When Katsuki got back you were cocooned in the blankets, sure the room was warm, but as the night air drew in the rooms temperature seemed to drop drastically, so you had taken it upon yourself to collect all the blankets and pile them onto of yourself. Katsuki stood at the entrance dumbfounded at the sight, as in comparison he stood tall in his trousers and fur coat, with his necklace and earrings to adorn the look. He wasn’t used to feeling cold. He would need to thank his parents later for getting on at him to make sure he had enough blankets for his mate when it got cold. He placed the food down on the table and started picking apart the blankets until he revealed you, cuddling into yourself. “Look, I know its cold but you gotta eat, come on” He allows you to get yourself up, though you take one of the smaller blankets with you to combat the cold.

The meal itself wasn’t anything special. A meat of some kind with potatoes and asparagus. You were so hungry you ate it without question, too hungry to care. He watched you from the other side of the table, it made you slightly self-conscious but brushed it off as his thing, he had a habit of watching you. When you finished you made sure to tidy up your area as best as you could, not wanting to seem impolite. This made Katsuki scoff at you, your insecurity coming back quickly.

“Bed time” was all he said, even though you had been sleeping most of the day, the thought of curling up into the blanket seemed heavenly. As you climbed into the bed, securing yourself under the furs Katsuki came in behind you. He simply brought your body to his, circling his body around yours in a protective manner. With him so close to you, you found it hard to fall asleep. Though Katsuki seemed to find it easy, simply snuggling his face into your neck and falling asleep. You decided to go through your options. Option one, stay still and go to sleep unknowing to what could happen tomorrow, though by his current attitude and behaviour you now highly doubted it being too dangerous, or option two, somehow manage to escape his iron grip and run out of the tent, with no knowledge of where you were, how far from home, or what could be outside the tent. The thought of meeting something worse than Katsuki made you shiver and slightly move closer to him. At least you knew what he was capable of, plus you had the added protection that he claimed you as his mate, those usually ended happily. No one wanted to endanger their mate, it went against Barbarian law. Something you vaguely remembered researching when you were young and curious. With those thoughts in mind you allowed yourself to succumb to the warmth Katsuki provided and fall into a broken sleep.

Please reblog, it helps my tumblr grow and makes me wanna write more

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugou #bnha fantasy au #bakugou fantasy au #barbarian #bnha bakugou #bakugou x you #katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki #bnha x reader #bnha imagine #mha katsuki

[angeliise]

Day 1- The Beginning of Us

If you had told me this was the beginning of the end, I would have believed you. 

If you had told me that this was the beginning of us, I wouldn’t believe you. 

I didn’t want to believe you. I didn’t want to believe you because… it would mean that I could have my happy ending. 

And I couldn’t believe that. 

He had done it. He knew that Itachi’s corpse was slowly withering away next to him, but that’s all he saw before his own eyelids shut down. He couldn’t say he was happy. But he wasn’t sad either. If this was the end, then so be it. Let it be the end of the Uchiha Clan. He had avenged his Clan, his parents… and yet… he hadn’t done anything for himself. 

He had avenged the Uchiha in him. But he was Sasuke. His name was Sasuke. Tsk, why did he stress over that? 

Because your name is Sasuke, right? 

Hn. He was going to die here, anyway. This was the end. And he was okay with it. At least he was far away from Hinata. He knew… Sasuke knew that if Hinata had any chance of reaching him she could abandon all else just for him. That was who she was. That was what he knew her for…

That was what he loved her for. 

And he was happy that he, at least, wasn’t going to get in her way anymore and worry her endlessly. 

Hinata… And to think he was going to die, knowing that his name was worth something outside of being an Uchiha. 

____________

~ 9 years ago

Sasuke fiddled with a pebble in his hand. He was sitting at his usual spot by the river stream in Konoha. 

“Uchiha Sasuke. Got nothing but his clan’s name going for him”

“The lone survivor of the Uchiha Clan.” 

“An Uchiha, huh? Tsk, he’s probably full of it.” 

“Uchiha… Sasuke?”“Uchiha Sasuke?! He’s so cute! Everyone knows who Sasuke is, he’s an Uchiha, afterall!” 

“Uchiha”

“Uchiha” 

“Uchiha”

He was nothing but a name to them. A name that wasn’t even his. A name that didn’t speak for who Sasuke really was. A name that- Sasuke vehemently shook his head. He was a proud member of the Uchiha Clan. Being a part of the Uchiha Clan was one of the highest honors any shinobi could ask for. And he was one. The Uchiha’s were revered as being one of the most powerful Clans. Their Kekkai Genkei, Clan secrets, clan techniques were all highly sought after by enemies. He was going to restore the pride of the Uchiha Clan, and remind everyone that the Uchihas continue to be a fearful force to be reckoned with!

*Quak, quak, quak* 

Sasuke launched the pebble into the river stream, scaring the ducks away. Tsk, there shouldn’t be any ducks in this snowy weather. He sat down, knees against his chest. 

Sasuke! I’m going to defeat you, dattebayo!

“Sasuke-kun! Erm… I… You know, I… I lo-”

“Sasuke-kun, well done. I expected nothing less from a member of the Uchiha Clan” 

He was nothing but his Clan’s representation for them. His name, his being, his existence was nothing if it weren’t for his Clan’s name. If it weren’t Uchiha, it was (Uchiha) Sasuke. Never Sasuke. 

“You’re nothing but a Hyuuga snob!” 

Huh? Sasuke turned his head in the direction of the voice. Out of curiosity, he followed the cries of a girl in the name direction.

“Look at those eyes! They are so creepy!” One said. 

Sasuke was hiding behind a tree. He peeped his head and spotted 3 boys surrounding a girl on the floor. As he squeezed his eyes to get a better look of her another one spoke.

“I know, right?! Who do the Hyuugas think they are? Parading Konoha as this prestigious clan when they look like this?!” 

“T-That’s not- Ah!” A palm flew across her cheek. 

“Shut up! You are no better than the Uchiha Clan.” 

….

“Yeah, good riddance to that Clan. They were nothing but a bunch of snobs!” 

“Yeah, your clan should be next.”

“N-Next?” 

The boy closed in on her. Hinata crawled away until she came to a stop thanks to the third boy. 

The boy in front of her threw a malicious grin her way. “To be massacred!” 

Ha ha ha!!

“H-How could you say such-” - “Haaa?! Didn’t I tell you to shut up!-” 

BANG..

BAM.

BASH! 

BANG!! 

BANG!!! 

BANG!!!! 

BANG!!!!!

She heard the blows. She heard the fists connect. But she felt nothing. All she felt was an overwhelming presence standing before her. When she opened her eyelids, the first thing she saw was a fan. A fan was all she got to see before the figure poofed in thin air. 

“Was that?...” Hinata looked to both of her sides, but nothing. She stood. Looking behind her, and then in front. 

He wasn’t there. She wanted to thank him. Had it not been for him, she would have been… again. Although premature, she raised her finger to her face. 

Byakugan!

Hinata couldn’t explain this desire to thank him. He had just saved her and  she was indebted to him. They would find all types of ways to isolate her and- found him! 

She ran, ran, and ran some more. The closer she got, the more desperate she became. She had heard from her mother about the Uchiha massacre. Though she never spoke to Sasuke, she never saw him hanging with anyone. He left as quickly as he came. He kept to himself during classes, lunch, break, activities - everything. No one, even his pursuers, knew anything about him. All they knew about him was that he was an Uchiha. All the things they said about him were nothing but a false image that his clan pushed to the public. His intelligence, his skills, his demeanour. None of what they said described the boy underneath the ‘Uchiha’ label. 

To be massacred!

[...] good riddance to that Clan.

They were nothing but a bunch of snobs!

As if she wanted to shut her ears out, Hinata’s eyelids dropped. Such cruelty. And to think Sasuke heard that. A part of her couldn’t help but blame herself for this. She… she wanted to apologise. She wanted to thank him and apologise. She- “Sasuke-ku-!” 

*Thumb* 

Despite the throbbing pain in her knee, and the cold snow singing her face with cold, she scrambled to push herself up. In the moment she raised her head, she saw obsidian eyes staring into hers -- there was nothing. “E-Erm… I’m-”

“Go away.” 

She blinked. “Eh?” 

“If you thought I saved you, then think again. Now, go away.” He turned his heel and took a step forward. 

“W-Wait. I wanted to-”

In an abrasive, yet throbbing tone, he yelled. “Go home!” 

“S-Sasuke-kun-” 

“I said!” Sasuke said. With the twist of a heel, the spin of a body and… rain. Sasuke screamed. 

“Leave!” 

It had started to rain. Despite his insistence on her leaving. Despite the aggressiveness, sternness and furiness behind his tone. Despite the frown on his face. Despite every single body part that said otherwise, his eyes did not lie. His eyes were wavering, shaking, and defeated. 

Hinata stood. 

Clank

Clank

Clank

Clank 

Clank

“But,” she raised her hand and slid her finger from his chin up to his eyes, “you are crying.” 

In a jittery tone, Sasuke uttered a silent ‘huh?’ 

Hinata wiped another tear from his cheek, and then another one. She didn’t stop until the tears were no more and his face dried with the remnant teardrops. A tiny whimper escaped her petite lips, and before she knew it, her cheeks felt the imminent streams of water flow down. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered in a low cry. Her fingers were still rubbing his cheeks clean of nothing. 

___________________

That had been the beginning. 

___________________

~ 6 years ago

At a faraway grassfield, lay an upset Sasuke. Yet another fight with Naruto. Yet another headache from his fangirls.. Yet another day has passed and he wasn’t one step closer to the power thanks to his useless sensei, Iruka. There was no one Sasuke could rely on. No one that wouldn’t run him off with their… way of being! No one. Not even -- No, especially that girl. 

She would always sit a row behind him, stand close to him during lineups, and volunteer to be his sparring partner when the fangirls weren’t looking. And when she wasn’t chosen, she had that look of concern. Why she would go through all this trouble is beyond him. 

Since that winter day, she wouldn’t leave him alone. No matter how many times he had told her to leave, she would just stand there with that look. A look that he couldn’t read no matter how hard he tried. He knew she was always somewhere lurking, and he couldn’t understand why. He never did anything for her. Nothing! 

Who is this ‘she’? Sasuke didn’t know himself. He never bothered remembering her name. Why would  he want to remember her name, anyway? She’s a nobody. She’s nothing to him. She’s a Hyuuga-- Hinata--. She’s weak. She cries too much. She’s, she’s, she’s-!

“Oi, Hinata! Why are you standing over there?” 

“E-Eh?” 

~ Moments later 

An exacerbated sigh escaped Sasuke’s lips as he felt every nerve in his body relax- 

“Sasuke-kun, well done. I expected nothing less from a member of the Uchiha Clan” 

Or not. 

“Hinata,” he started.

“What does my name mean to you?” Hinata finished. 

Sasuke threw a sharp look her way. 

A tiny smile arose on Hinata’s face. “You always ask this question when you are upset, Sasuke-kun.” 

One thing he couldn’t stand about Hinata was the simple fact that she knew him well. A little too well. He was angry, or so he thought he was. Actually, he couldn’t be angry. He had never gotten angry at her. He couldn’t get angry at her. No matter how much he tried. She was no different from the fangirls with all the stalking, so why would he open his doors to her? Why was she the only person he could- he didn’t want to finish that sentence.

“Hmph! That wasn’t what I was going to ask.” 

Hinata giggled, bringing her knees to her chest. She closed her eyes, lamenting on the day he saved her from the bullies. Ever since then Hinata has tried to find a way to owe him the favour. But she didn’t know how to… is what she kept telling herself for years. She knew how to owe him back. She could buy him a month's worth of tomatoes. She could cook him all his favorite treats. She could do so much for him, but what she wanted to do- what she wanted to be for him- was a person he could shoulder his burden on. 

Why? Her shoulders shrugged. She didn’t-- her eyes fell on Sasuke whose eyes were closed. Her heart skipped a beat, and she felt her cheeks heating up. 

Hinata’s head fell a tad bit. Who was she kidding? How was she any different from the fangirls that pursued his every move. She was no different from them. She would say she was worse than them because of how persistent she was, but… how couldn’t she think she was different when he--

“You’re blushing again.” 

-- when he is this way! Unlike the others, he would let her stay by his side. Unlike the others, he would let her talk to her and actually listen to what she has to say. She never did anything for him. She has yet to thank him for-- wait! She never even thanked him for saving her that day! She-

“But really,” Sasuke said, sitting up.

“H-huh?” 

This time Sasuke locked his eyes with hers. “What does my name mean to you?” 

“Your name… means a lot to me.” She smiled. Sasuke was taken aback. 

“You saved me. But that’s not the only reason. That day… the day you cried.” Sasuke winced, tightening his fist. “I just couldn’t leave you alone-”

“Why?!” He lashed out. “Everybody is the same, after all! Everybody sees me as nothing more than an Uchiha who needs coddling!” He looked down at Hinata who was getting up herself. 

She closed the distance between them in seconds. He watched as she raised her finger to his cheeks, making her way up to his teary eye. 

“That’s not true.” She whispered. 

“You are no better than the Uchiha Clan.” 

She wiped another tear as another fell. “That’s not true..!.” 

“Yeah, good riddance to that Clan.”

The words were sharp yet voluptuous. More tears kept falling and vision became blurry. “That’s not-!” 

“Hinata.” She felt a warm hand upon hers. “That’s enough.” 

“B-But. What they said was mean!” 

“That’s-

“No!” She shook her head. “I… I… I’m so happy I got to meet you in this lifetime!” 

…..in this lifetime...

….this lifetime…!

….lifetime!

________________________

“Lifetime, huh?...”

_________________________

~ 3 years ago 

The night was particularly quiet. But that figures because Sasuke was about to leave her-- Konoha. He was about to leave Konoha. 

The note he held in his hand would do the job, he thought. It didn’t need more. She would understand. Hinata would- 

I’m so happy I got to meet you in this lifetime!

The sleeping princess in front of him was glowing in the moonlight. He knew he owed no one an explanation. He knew that he had to do this. He knew that he couldn’t- Sasuke knelt down and took his time to take in every last detail he could. This would be his last time. This would be the last time he would get to be this close to her. He drew her hair strands away from her face. The knuckles that caressed her cheeks as he did so felt warm against them. 

Hinata. The only one who seemingly cared about Sasuke as a person. The only person who saw him for who he was. Someone that even he didn’t know. This was going to be the last. He gave her small hand with the note a tiny squeeze before standing up. 

“Thank you,” he said as he turned around, “Hinata.” 

________________________

Sasuke couldn’t feel anything around him. Not the concrete his back was leaning against. Not the blood dripping from his forehead, not the pouring raindrops on his skin, nothing. He couldn’t hear any of the outside world. That is what he said against the warm source around his chest.

“-uke-kun!” 

He wasn’t supposed to feel anything with his chakra levels being so low, so why? 

“Sas… kun!”

Why was she here?! 

“Sasuke-kun! Stay with me!”

Why?! He felt the droplets of rain tip against his eyelashes. That damn Hyuuga! He didn’t want to. He didn’t care! He didn’t want to see that face. He had resigned to a void of eternal darkness as his final moment. So, why? Why did his eyes flutter open to find a concerned Hinata desperately wording his name in tears? 

It hurts everywhere. 

“Sasuke-kun, stay with me!” 

Why? Why are you crying? Why do you always do this for me? Did she not read the note? Did the note slip away? Why? Why, why, why?! 

Her eyes hadn’t changed. That same look that she used to give him for years. That look that he couldn’t read in all those years. Why, what were those eyes that were tearing huge drops of water telling him? 

“Hinata… why?” 

“Why?” She repeated with her shoulders trembling. “Because,” she locked her eyes with his, “because…” she bit her lower lip. “Because I love you!” 

Despite his weakening body, Sasuke felt a heavy pump in his heart. 

“Sasuke-kun, you’re mean. What was that note? ‘Don’t come for me’? Why wouldn’t I come for you? When you let me into your world, I promised myself that I wouldn’t be a burden to you! That I wouldn’t make you regret it and yet… you left. I… I…!” 

Sasuke pushed through the aching pain in his arm to reach for cheeks. He wiped as many tears as he could in the moment that was filled with Hinata’s low whimpers. “That’s enough.”

“No, it’s not- I! I-” Her words were cut short by the sudden push she felt from behind her head, and before she knew it her face was pressed against his chest. 

“Thank you.” 

“Eh?...” 

“Thank you.” 

Hinata felt another set of tears stream down her cheeks. She gently wrapped her arms around Sasuke’s back. She began the healing process again. “D-Don’t die, Sasuke-kun. Please… don’t die.” 

He stroked her head. “Hinata...” 

Hinata raised her head to find- a tear from above dropped to her cheek. 

“Thank you.” 

___________________

Thank you for reading ^^

@sasuhinamonth

#sasuhinamonth2021 #shmonth2021 #sasuhina

[fireflyjunkie]

FEEL SOMETHING

(A Sanders sides Angst one-shot fic)

Part 1

4,391 words

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

Razor blades

Self harm

Gore

Numbness

Logan angst

Confrontation on self harm suspicions

Summary:

Logan is tired of being the cold, emotionless robot that everyone perceives him as. He’s repressed his emotions to such a great extent that he genuinely doesn’t feel anything major anymore. He does have his nightly break-downs sometimes, but he needs more than that.

However, this is where roads begin to cross. Logan feels that it would be nice and beneficial to experience strong emotions, but he doesn’t know if this feeling is stronger than his fear of expressing such things. Being viewed as a joke and not being taken seriously is his worst nightmare. Because of this, the logical side just keeps up his stone cold front to avoid being weak.

This dilemma Logan had found himself in really frustrated him. No matter how hard he tried to think of a solution, nothing ever satisfied both ends of the spectrum. The best he had come up with was to keep up the front when he was with the others and then let himself break down at night when no one was around, and even that didn’t help him nearly as much as he wished. This eventually led him to looking for answers online. One search led to another, and Logan has figured out something that might help him. It’s a bit risky, and he’ll have to hide it from the others, but he knows how to be safe with it, so he’ll give it a shot just to feel something.

•———————————————————————-•

Part 1

6:34pm

 Logan was sitting at the dinner table with his three friends as they ate their meal. Nothing unusual about the evening, they had their casual little chats and the occasional playful banter from Roman and Virgil, with Patton butting in every so often. Logan kept his focus all on the plate of food in front of him. The paternal figure had worked hard to make this, he wasn’t going to let it get cold. Plus even if he wanted to join the conversation, he wouldn’t even know what to say. Sure he was the logical side and he had a heap of facts to spit but when it comes to the jovial friendly conversations the others usually shared. He truly couldn’t find the words to contribute something meaningful into the atmosphere, so other than correcting a false statement, he kept silent.

“Now Virgil, I’m just saying that a kid would be much more excited to watch a movie like Alice in wonderland and we all know it!” Roman exclaimed to the emo sitting across the table from him. It’s not at all surprising that the current conversation taking place was one about Disney. Especially when it was Virgil and Roman who were the ones bickering. “I mean all the bright colors and such a classic story is bound to win a kid over!”

“Uhuh sure, like kids would want to watch a film about a bunch of mentally ill people on an acid trip. Plus, the queen of hearts is scary for them,” Virgil retorts, glaring at Roman before taking a bite of his food. “The princess and the frog is clearly a superior movie. It’s about an independent hard working woman who doesn’t need a man to help her achieve her goals, like are you kidding me? And she helps him out, that is a nice change for once.”

“Yea I cannot argue with that, we stan Tiana,” Roman admits, leaning back in his chair. Logan was about to question the prince about the term he just used, but decided against it, keeping quiet.

“But the shadow man is scary!” Roman continues.

“Uh, no. ’I’ve got friends on the other side’ is such a bop. But I am one of the friends on the other side,” Virgil pulls his signature 2000’s MySpace emo face. ‘Bop’. Logan remembers what that meant. He had to ask Roman about it later to make a vocabulary card.

“Oh my god can you get any edgier?” Roman asks the snickering Virgil across the table as he rolls his eyes and goes back to his food. The only thing Logan could think of at this time is how useless that conversation was. Their frivolous arguments had no solid points or evidence to back up their argument if they were trying to persuade the other. He chose not to say anything so as to not further encourage them. Instead he had just yet again kept quiet and his focus was on finishing his food so he could retire to his room.

“So Logan, are you almost finished with your work?” Logan’s head snapped up when the mention of his name came from Patton. ‘Work.. it was always work.’

“No, Patton. There are still a few tasks to be completed that need to be completed tonight,” Logan states, adding on that last bit so hopefully he isn’t bugged with having a ‘family night’ as Patton and the others like to call it. Which, it doesn’t make any sense considering the fact that none of us are actually related.

“Well, once you are done with that, do you wanna come watch a movie with us!?” The parental side excitedly asks. Logan internally cringed at Patton’s use of grammar, but more at his failed attempts at getting out of this without having to ask. It’s not that Logan didn’t like the others, it’s just that tonight specifically he wanted to be left alone. Sometimes spending time with them is considered a good thing to him because he knows that he needs to take breaks from his work sometimes and Patton gives him an excuse to do so. Also, knowing that Patton wants him there helps him feel less like a robot, but that feeling quickly returns when they don’t even care to ask him his opinions for the movie choice.

“Oh.. that’s ok! There’s always next time, right?” Patton sounded a little disappointed, but supportive nonetheless. “Well I wish you good luck with that, Logan!”

“Thank you, Patton,” Logan finishes the conversation while turning his attention back towards his almost empty plate.

The rest of the dinner went by as normal. They all took their dishes to the sink and Patton offered to help Roman complete the dishes and Virgil retired to his room for the night. Logan says his goodnights and follows suit to his own room.

After entering, Logan lightly shut his door and pressed his back against the cool wood. The lights were still off, so he sat in the inky black dark atmosphere staring at the ceiling in order to prevent the dark curtain draped over the contents of his room from playing tricks on his eyes. He didn’t bother finding the light switch; he felt it was unnecessary. It would only illuminate everything that reminded him of everything that burdens him. He hates not knowing.

The logical side leaned his head back against the door and squeezed his eyes shut, the blankness of the dark and the silence began to be too much for him; it made him feel too alone. With no senses available, you are left with nothing but your own thoughts to drown in. Nothing to do but to fall down that hole of endless thinking. Logan’s head swarmed with every emotion he was feeling at once. Every fact he wished wasn’t true danced behind his eyes and pounded on his skull demanding his attention.

Logan couldn’t help but let the tears run down his cheeks. They started rolling faster and he held his hand over his mouth, choking back a sob. He hated doing this, but he had to if he wanted to remain sane. He just felt so vulnerable and embarrassed. Logan felt his legs begin to shake so he slid down the door to sit on the floor. God he hopes no one comes to his room.

The logical side stayed on the floor like that for a while. He didn’t know how long, but he was surprised when he looked at his phone to find he had been there for almost thirty minutes. Once the crying had for the most part stopped and Logan realized that it didn’t really help at all, he decided to get up from his spot on the floor and turn on some lights. He had reached for the plug connected to fairy lights strung around his room and plugged it into the electrical socket, illuminating the whole space with a soft Caramel colored glow. The lights were a gift from Patton last Christmas, the parental figure had gotten some for everyone in the house. At first the logical side thought they were childish and impractical due to him already having a light in his room, but Patton persisted so he put them up and once he saw how they casted a honey coating to all the contents of his bedroom and how the atmosphere instantly shifted from sharp to calming and gentle, he decided that they weren’t that bad.

After his eyes had adjusted to the light, Logan walked into the bathroom that he has in his room and shut the door after turning on the light. The sudden contrast of the soft light of his room to the harsh light of the bathroom only worsened his growing headache so the first thing he did was retrieve the Ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet and swallow two. After that he took his glasses off and placed them on the side of the sink before proceeding to wash his face of tears with warm water from the faucet. After he patted his face dry with a towel, he took a minute to just look into the mirror. He took notice of his cold, dead eyes that were a navy blue, but despite being such a bright color, his eyes looked more dull and grey. ‘No wonder the others think I’m a metaphorical robot.” He thinks to himself. He decides not to stay there any longer or else Remus might hear him drowning in his thoughts and show up so he grabbed his glasses and started back towards his room.

Logan didn’t know what to do now. He’s already cried a bunch but that didn’t help. He just sat on the edge of his bed trying to figure things out. The laptop sitting closed and still in his desk caught his eye. ‘There may be an article on the internet explaining my situation.’ The logical side thought to himself before he got up and made his way towards his desk, pulling out the chair and sitting down. While he opened the device up and typed in his password, he thought about what he was going to type into the search bar. While the Google page displayed on his screen awaiting his questions, Logan’s fingers moved to type in the first one that came to mind; ‘How to feel when you are numb?’

Once he pressed enter, he proceeded to scroll for what he was looking for. He passed a bunch of articles about physical health and stuff like that. ‘Perhaps I worded it incorrectly?’ He thought to himself before seeing something that could potentially be what he was looking for. It was a link to a twitter post. It was titled ‘I don’t feel anything. I do this to feel something,’ and Logan thought that would suffice nicely to his needs. Though, the side wasn’t prepared for what he was going to see when he clicked it. Blood. Lots of blood. Cuts all up and down the poster’s forearm that could be recognized as dermis and epidermis level cuts. And finally, a bloodied double edge razor blade sitting calmly in a warm crimson pool on the counter top.

Logan gasped upon the image displayed in front of him. It wasn’t too intense but seeing a part of the human body all cut up didn’t make him feel too comfortable, but he was slightly intrigued. He was kind of confused why the gorey photo was related to what he was looking for so he decided to look into it further; only because the text part of the post seemed to relate a little to his state of mind.

The logical side scrolled down past a few more photos of the same cuts just at different angles. He kept observing the images while trying to think of where to go from here until he decided to use the tags the original poster had provided with the text to research further. He viewed 10 or so hashtags of random things to figure out what the point of this was. Some of them just confused the side, but one of the words he recognized from an article he read a few months ago when Roman fell into a deep depression and he tried to gather as much information as he could to help him because the others were worried and terrified for him. However, he never had to use much information because they had luckily gotten him out of that mental health decline before anything terrible happened. Well, at least to his knowledge. The tag in question reads as ‘self harm’. Now Logan felt a little stupid because he knew what this was before, but a little clarification never hurt anyone.

He had to admit, he was a little taken aback by the fact that what he was experiencing was linked and related to self harm but he decided to explore more under that subject to further understand it. When he clicked on the tag, he was exposed to pages and pages of self harm. He stopped at one particularly disturbing one. It was a video of a girl with a straight razor that resembled that of what a barber would use. In the video, she had pressed as hard as she could and with one clean swipe, the fat inside her arm was exposed. By this point, Logan was feeling a little sick to his stomach on account of what was displayed in front of him. The video however kept going. The girl dabbed the open wound with a white towel, so the amount of blood that was being soaked up was very visible. The girl picked the weapon up again and placed it in the center of the cut and proceeded to apply pressure while she dragged the blade along her arm at a painfully slow speed. When the pool of blood was soaked up, fascia was exposed and Logan really wanted to look away but he couldn’t. He vaguely understood the premise behind self harming, but witnessing it to this extent kind of confused and scared him.

Luckily the video stopped there and Logan closed it out and continued to scroll through the page. He did not find much there other than the pictures and videos of people cutting themselves and he was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable, almost like what he felt when he was under the effects of Virgil’s room; and for that reason he decided to close out this tab and search elsewhere. The logical side really didn’t know why he was so intrigued to this certain coping mechanism. He knew it was very unhealthy, but he couldn’t let it go.

After a few google searches about the topic of self harm and a few articles later, Logan found one specific body of text that piqued his interest. It was basically describing the effects self harming has on the brain and why so many people do it and says it helps. He read through it and the information he gathered was rather interesting to him. Basically, the context of the article was explaining the science behind why self harming was addictive and why some people do it in the first place.

‘So, cutting myself will release neurochemicals in my brain that mimics that of dopamine? Fascinating..’ Logan thinks to himself. The side takes a minute to think it through. Was he actually considering this? I mean, there is scientific evidence that proves that doing this will help him. Logan ponders a bit on that last point, basically pushing him to do it. He just resorts to searching for reasons not to go through with it at this point. Only two reasons came to his mind when he tried to think up reasons to push the thoughts out of his head. The first was the safety aspect of it. Of course when you are cutting yourself there are things that can go wrong; however Logan felt confident enough that he knew how to do this safely. He knew where the vital points were on the human body so he knew where it was safe to cut as well as how deep to go. He also knew how to properly dress the wounds and how to take care of them so they didn’t get infected so the logical side could figuratively throw that worry out the window.

The only factor that was left in play affecting Logan’s decision in going through with this is the guilt he would have to face if the others found out. With Patton having gone through a situation similar to this when Roman was having severe mental health issues and when Virgil ducked out, Logan would figuratively (and almost literally) have the blood on his hands just adding it to the list. He knows that Patton always tries his hardest to do things that make everyone as happy as they can be, and oh the lengths he would go to do that. Let’s just say that the parental side has had many sleepless nights on account of helping someone else. But surely if Patton had ever found out about all the things Logan hasn’t told him, it would make him feel like he hasn’t been enough for people even more than he already does, even and who knows what could happen to him when that happens and he lives knowing that three of his friends have been struggling.

Logan had to ponder on this one for a minute. But with him being logic and all, he brought up the point that the way Patton was thinking about things is untrue and if he had to, Logan with a little of Virgil’s help could sit down with him and possibly explain things in order to pull him from that mindset.

He quietly hummed to himself, feeling accomplished at finding a solution. This satisfied feeling quickly deteriorated as confusion began to spill. Why was he feeling this way about something so grim? Why was he so compelled to stand up to get that spare razor that lay waiting in the bathroom cupboard? He thought it was even irrational to consider doing such things but it just felt like something that could actually help him, and he needed it.

He didn’t know what made him do it, but something in him made him push himself out of his desk chair to shut his laptop without powering it off and making his way to the bathroom. Once inside, he quietly closed the bathroom door. He opened the door of the shadow box, but for some reason it felt super slow like in a dramatic movie. He didn’t know why his hands were shaky when he spotted the razor and went to gently pick it up.

Just then as he examined the weapon in his grip, he felt the adrenaline pumping. It all just set in. Oh my god he was actually going to do this. He was just moments away from his destination. He gulped down a nervous lump in his throat as he examined the perfectly new blade for any rust. The side didn’t understand why he was so nervous; he knew how to do this safely so why was he so scared? Maybe he’s afraid of the pain

Logan however quickly dismissed this thought so that it doesn’t chase him out of a decision. I mean he would only seem MORE weak if he pulled such a pansy move. It shouldn’t be too bad.

He started by washing the blade and his forearm with warm water just as a precaution. He shakily held the blade horizontally over his wrist. Deep breath in and-

Slice

He ran the blade across his skin and then exhaled the breath he was holding. He sort of relaxed when he realized that it wasn’t that bad and that he was ok. Still, he checked the damage. It was a cut on the epidermis layer of the skin so nothing bad. Even so, he watches the blood bead along the clean line in fascination. It started to drip a little but that was caught with the towel that Logan pulled off the towel rack. He gently pressed the cloth to the cut and when he pulled it back, he closely watched as blood refilled the small wound. He was satisfied with his work and for some reason, he couldn’t stop looking at it. He wanted more.

So that’s what he did; the side made a few more clean lines parallel to the first one he made. He would stop to just watch the blood, then soak it up before watching how it refills again. Logan found himself admiring his arm from all angles, wearing these cuts like some sort of sick and twisted accessory. Logan continued to leave a few more little cuts, holding his arm over the sink to not make so much mess with blood (and to not ruin his favorite button up shirt).

The logical side went for one more and pressed a bit harder this time. When he swiped the blade, white was exposed before blood started to seep out from the edges of this deeper and wider cut. Actually being able to see the inside of his arm like that kind of scared him. He recognized this as the dermis level of skin. It made him a bit uneasy how he could turn his arm sideways and see the cut gape a bit, but he couldn’t stop looking at it. He thought if Remus was here, he would have said it looked like a mouth.

After that tiny scare of going deeper, he decided he was done with this for the night, afraid of going farther than he already has. As he started cleaning the blood from his arm and his sink, he was thinking over his success rates with this exercise. He had come to the conclusion that this had done what he wanted it to for him. He smiled to himself as he looked at the fresh cuts. The smaller and thin ones have already dried and scabbed over, but the deeper one he had just done was still filling with blood after each time he soaked it up, but it was slowing down. He doesn't know if he smiled because the treatment worked or if he was just proud of what he had done, but to him it just matters that he got a smile out of it. Once all the blood was cleaned up, he opened the shadow box again to retrieve the bandages. Carefully, he wrapped his arm in a secure bandage and put the rest away. The pressure of the cloth being wrapped tightly around his arm felt oddly nice and contrasted with the burning sensation on his skin from the contact.

The side stops moving and stands perfectly still when he feels a presence in his room. His heart dropped out of fear in realizing that this is the worst time to be here for obvious reasons. He slowly reaches for the doorknob of the bathroom and turns it, trying to prepare himself for whatever is about to happen. When the door was opened, it revealed Remus sitting on Logan’s bed just looking around.

“R-Remus, what are you doing here?” His voice was shakier than he wanted it to be. He wasn’t sure if the cause was from what he just did in the bathroom or the fear he had from another side possibly knowing.

Remus’s gaze shifted towards the nerd and the bandage on his arm. “Well, as I am Thomas’s own intrusive thot,” he stopped for a second to giggle at his play on words, “I can sense unwanted thoughts from any other part of Thomas,” he got up from his spot on Logan’s bed to walk towards him.

“I was picking up something from you, not like the normal. I had some suspicions and came to investigate but it seems as if I was right,”

“I.. I’m not sure I know what you are referring to,” he lied. Logan thought it was eerie to hear Remus talk in this more serious manner.

“Yea, no we both know that is a big lie,” Remus slightly smirked at Logan for the fact that he was right and gestured to Logan’s bandaged arm. Logan just avoided the other side’s eyes and held his arm behind his back. This and Logan’s uncomfortable silence confirmed it to Remus and he was no longer smiling, he had a look of empathy and slight hurt on his face. He was also sort of mad at the others because he feels and sees what Logan goes through with them and he thinks he can understand why Logan would resort to self harm.

“Logan, do you need to talk about it?” He asked. Logan has talked to Remus about his situation before, but he didn’t want to talk about this. He just brushed past Remus to go lay his pajamas out on the bed to get changed for the night. “No, I do not wish to speak of this and I ask you to kindly not mention this to anyone else, but thank you for your concern,” he never turned around to look at the other once. Remus just stood there with a slight frown. He then got an idea on what to do and he sunk out without saying anything else.

Logan could feel when the intrusive side left the room and released the breath he was holding in relief. He felt guilt wash over him in the moment. He really disliked lying to one of his closest friends but it was for the best. It was way too early for him to be able to tell anybody- scratch that. He didn’t want to tell anyone at all. He just hoped that Remus would listen and not tell anybody. The logical side thought of what he would do if that were to happen as he changed his clothes to something more comfortable.

He stopped before getting into bed to ponder if he should leave his fairy lights on while he slept. They were left on as he climbed under the cover to keep the atmosphere soft.

The logical side found himself holding his bandaged arm up above his face to admire it. He didn’t know what it was, but knowing what he'd done gave him tiny butterflies of adrenaline in his stomach which led him to a small smile. Logan was never an artist of any medium, but those crimson lines that stain his forearm felt like an art piece to him. It made him feel accomplished and.. happy. And with that, the side brought his arm back under the covers and closed his eyes to be consumed by sleep with a smile on his face.

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Hope you enjoyed this first part :)

Yea a little background, sanders sides is such a comfort series for me, so I started writing this back when I was struggling a lot and I decided to keep writing this now so I hope you enjoy this bucket of angst haha

Part 2 will be linked here when it is up!

#sanders sides fic #sanders sides #one shot #logan sanders #Logan angst #sanders sides angst #self harm #ahhh my poor baby #vent #Roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #Janus sanders

[tash-sho-sho]

MC with a demiangel son

I would have rather have someone else to do it, but none of my favorite writers have their requests open >m< I had to do it by myself! My English isn't the best... so if you are reading this, you are warned! Also lesson, 4, 6 and 16 spoilers. Just in case, don't read it unless you are in lesson 21, ok? ♡

The demons were waiting patiently waiting for Barbatos to summon the new human exchange student who were, unlike Solomon, a normal human. A dazzling light invade the room and finally, the human arrived. What they didn't have in mind was that behind them, a small child of 5 years with a strange aura, almost too familiar for the demons in the room.

Mc stand in front of their son trying to protect him from the unknown beings, knowing very well they weren't even humans, and they won't hesitated to protect their child, even if that means to fight demons.

->more under the cut

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Lucifer

Was a shock alone to have a human with a child, but the child having almost a... divine aura made Lucifer tense, what kind of human they brought to their program????!! And that child??? Lucifer sure will have an headache for the rest of the year. He is suspecting that child is not 100% human, he wants to throw them back to the portal. That's not a headache worth having, Diavolo!

Unfortunately for Mr. McPride, Diavolo thought they were perfect for the program, and he can't refuse an order from the next Demon King, the Prince being.... maybe too happy for his liking...

When they were in the House of Lamentation, he noticed Mc not living their son's side, and was especially aware of Mammon who was shouting saying this was a hassle and that the boy was too strange for him to protect... if they knew Mammon was stupid...

Later on what he was suspecting was confirmed... that wasn't in their human profile, he knew they had a son, let's be honest, but it didn't cross through his head that they had to bring him with them, and most importantly, he was half Angel, what Angel did Mc messed with?

Child well behave, he must admit, perhaps was because of his angelic parent, or because Mc was a really good parent. He never asked and Mc wasn't too fond of sharing information either.

He started to love Mc, so it was obvious he will also start to love their son, who was... a lap dog, just like Luke for Simeon. Baby angel will to follow him, Lucifer's head pats worth a lot 😤 and Lucifer may or may not invite him to sit on his lap while working, even sleep there, this boy is the calmness Satan--- well, cute angel warmth Lucifer's heart, even if he does not admit it.

He started to get worry, what if the Celestial Realm know about this half angel? Also, parent Angel didn't care or know about the consequences of falling in love with a human? Can you imagine having a child with a human? Now he is starting to believe not only their son is powerful, but also Mc, really, how can you make an Angel jeopardized their position for you?

Mammon

Hey! What does it mean he have to take care of two humans???? You know how he was complaining in the first call when Mc told him he was their caretaker? Well, he literally was screaming when Lucifer told forced him to watch two humans.

Mammon: I ain't watching humans for free!

Lucifer: What did you say, Mammon? :)

Mammon: Anything for you, big bro! ♡

Oí, Lucifer, what with this child? Why he have a pure presence? For a moment he begins to think human child were supposed to have that kind of power...

Parent Mc was alert of his every movement, he complained ALL. THE. WAY. BACK. To the House, he never shut up. That attitude last... three days. That boy was too well behaved for him to dislike him! And Mc was kind enough with him. He got attached really quick and was the first one who Mc trust enough let their guard down. His ego was over the moon and he started to use it against his brothers. Plus, this boy never called him dumb or idiot, that's Mammon's boy now, fight for your parent's right, Mc! He is stealing him.

He never suspect a thing until someone else point it out. Wait, do you mean my and Mc's child is not human? Like, completely? Everything started to make senses, that's why he was so.. so... divine? But, who is the angel?? He is curious and jealous, how did an Angel get to know Mc first than him? They audacity 😤😤 at least, they give to Mc a really lovely son. Always smiling for him and giving him homemade gifts. He cried a bit when the son gives him half of his cookie... He denied it, but everyone saw it. Don't worry humans, the Great Mammon is here to protect you!

Leviathan

He wasn't there, he was in his room playing games, not caring for the human he have to live with for the rest of the year. He only realized the human came with a pet when he ran to the front door to claim the money Mammon owed him.

Uhm... was that small version of the big human? Why it clings to the Mc like his life depends on it? Why his aura is SOO familiar? He wasn't prepare for that. Does it mean he have to socialized with no one, BUT TWO? He doesn't know how to talk to children!

He didn't care for them, and ignored both of them until they made a pact. He was lucky Diavolo had the decency to cover the boy's eyes when... you know... his jealousy took the best of him. Just like Mammon, he didn't thought much of it, but it made him think of his animes, those with a long ass name. Not that he mind enough because the child is his third player! Of course, Mc is his player number 2!

Henry and Henry Jr. That's his nickname now. He might be too young to play more complicated games, but don't worry guys, our shut-in have a lot of games, including family friendly. Be careful though... you might need to remind both of them to eat... and force your boy to stop playing... but overall, a really wholesome sight. If that's a beautiful sight, imagine them playing together with a cosplay....

The mini version of Mc is just as kind as them. He was scared at the beginning, fearing their son would hate him for being an otaku (sweety... you almost kill his parent...) but everything went well.

He was jealous because he had another parent besides Mc, can you imagine his surprise when he discovered he was half angel??? How he can win against an Angel??? Your tastes are too high for a worthless otaku like him! He is a demon, a fallen Angel! He needs reassurance, but if that's not your thing or it's not enough, just show him your baby puppy eyes, that's the trick ;)

Now, half Angel or not, Levi love the boy a lot. Do not fear, Mc! You have now Lotan to protect your baby!

Satan

Oh well, that's interesting. Lucifer's expression was enough to make Satan smile. He have to admit... A weak human trying to protect their child, that's cute, not that he cared enough to comment it. Satan is aware from moment 1 that this child can't be 100% human, much like Lucifer, but unlike him, he will not try to protect both of you if he isn't in charge, he will just see how much both of you can survive.

Poor, poor, Mc, they know a fake smile when they see one, and if it were for them, they will avoid their son to have any contact with him, especially since he is a half Angel, and Satan's not even trying to show interest to protect them, they can see his only interest is that their son have a unique presence, that's not helpful at all! I wouldn't trust him if I were Mc either.

Just like the rest of the brothers, when he started to get close to the Mc, same he does with Henry Jr. Both humans are like little kittens for him now. However, he ended up asking Mc if by any chance, their son was half something, he was surprised but not as much as Mammon or Levi, he kept the secret until it was revealed.

Bed stories now for the boy, or whenever he wants, Satan is more than happy to do so. There is nothing better than to share your knowledge and thousands of books with someone who's really interested in them, fortunately for our cat boy, the baby loves it, I mean, what can he expect from someone who came from the Mc? Surely nothing less, just pure kindness and beauty.

The child sometimes try to write stories for Satan, or read, but he struggles a lot, both Mc and Satan are dying out of cuteness while listening to him trying to read the stories his childish brain came up with. Cute? Childish? Cat onesie? Sure! The boy now have pajamas with cat prints in it. And prepare to have a future cat lover with Satan by his side!

He is worry for this child's future, just like the rest, but unlike the others, he was not an Angel nor he participated in the Celestial War. Satan might feel a little insecure because of this, he was never an Angel, and at least his brothers can share personal experiences with Mc and their son, not him. He will not show this side of him. Looking how Henry Jr. look at him and smile knowing he will tell him a story, it's hard to think he will care that Satan was born from Wrath.

Asmodeus

My, my! What a cute human they brought to the Devildom! With a child included! Wait, what?

That wasn't what he expect, they agreed with having just one human, do they have to rearrange everything to be child friendly? Asmo thought it was cute how their son look to everything really scared and holding Mc's clothing with his tiny hands. He did thought it was strange his son presence was slightly different from Mc, which made him a little more interested in their child than in Mc at first.

Lust close to their baby? Asmo! Chu, Chu! Stay away until Mc feels safe knowing you won't corrupt their son! Asmo lose interest very quickly, in 3 days. He was too focused on himself to pay attention to someone who he can't even be close to. He admitted the boy was great for Devilgram pictures but he was glued to Mc's leg, like he himself was a third leg and Mc take him to everywhere too, even the bathroom. That's until they trust Mammon enough to take care of him while they were out. And with Mammon there? Overprotectiveness, the audacity of his scummy brother to not let him hug the cute boy while his parent wasn't there 😔😔

After Asmo and Mc made a pact, it's over 😔 both Mc and the boy are now in Asmo's Devilgram quite often, Henry Jr. the most, you know how many cute outfits and likes a baby can have, Mc??? Please, Mc have to admit their baby looks cute but... why are you dressing him like yourself, HUH?

Mammon hates every time Asmo steals his humans attention...

He was quite surprise when it was confirmed Henry Jr. is half angel. Mc! Information, how can he flirt with an angel????? Don't be selfish Mc!! :(:(:( that information worth millions of Grimm.

He isn't too worry about Mc having a child with an Angel, I mean, look at him, he is perfect. He can show your lovely boy the importance of beauty and how take proper care of himself, even showing how to take great pictures! Children have the tendency to copy what adults do, which that's why it's cute to see Mc's child taking their D.D.D to take pictures together, as parent and son, and proudly showing to Asmo what he can do!

Also, not bad sense of fashion, always will have the best of the best-- even if that means to fight Satan! No! He can't always have cat theme as an everyday outfit! And no! He can't cosplay as a Henry!!

Beelzebub

Can he eat them?

No, really, that was his first thought, even the child, I bet he had eat it everything, his stomach doesn't judge, unless is Solomon's cooking but by that time he didn't know that. He was the main reason why Mc never left their child alone, you can't just say "they look delicious, I don't know if I can hold back my hunger" and not expect me to be wary of my and my son's well-being!

Nevermind what that child is, he is hungry, feed him before he goes crazy.

Humans must stay together... And maybe a little bit more closer to Mammon... Mc didn't trust Beel one bit, from all the brothers, Beel and Satan were the worst for Mc at the beginning. And it was a nightmare when their son being to cry when Beel LITERALLY destroyed the room! Thanks god they bring him with them!!! That wasn't a pleasant night for them, they couldn't sleep because they were scared to death Beel would try to eat boy.

That... didn't last long? Beel is another baby, they will get along very well, especially since Henry Jr. Is just as kind as his parent! He even sometimes gives Beel some of his food, what a baby! Quickly both of them goes to Beel's care, he swore to protect them both. And that's when he started to care and notice more Henry's Jr. Isn't as normal as the thought at first.

The boy sitting on his shoulder while Beel is either eating or walking to the kitchen are a normal occurrence now. Where is the boy now? If he is not with Mammon or Lucifer, probably on Beel's shoulders. They eat together and when the little human is full, he will give the rest to Beel! And you have a really, really happy Beel! Hugs from Beel are the best, your boy disappear. I'm not jealous of the baby, you are!

Mc will receive hugs too... Beel have free hugs! Only for his family and you both are lucky he love you both as a family!♡

Oh wait, Henry Jr. is... an angel? He is really really worry, he have a trauma since the Celestial War, he is scared something will happen to his new family members, you for having a baby with an Angel and your son for being half Angel. You, my Mc, will have to reassure this giant man that you both will be fine, or at least, that you have pact with the most powerful demons in the Devildom. It's not enough, but that determined look on his face tells you that he had promised to himself something.

Belphegor

.... well... this is.... awkward.

When Mc came to the Attic, they came with their son because... yes. And even though Belphie did sense he was weird, just knowing it was another human vermin inside his house, living in the Devildom, was enough to anger him and push that thought behind. Be a child or an adult, a human is a human, he hated them, just like a human could hate a cockroach no matter the size.

He didn't get to know the boy for much because Mc started to come alone, which Belphie assumed was because they trust his brothers enough to let them take care of the infant. And... yes, he was there... When Belphie decided to do that to Mc. Not the first part, because if not, the boy would have had the same fate, but he was there when everyone saw how Belphie tossed them on the floor... And let's be honest, that's a traumatic experience, Mc in the normal universe can forgive all they want Belphie, but this is not only Mc, is also their son, who saw how a demon, someone he knew his parent was trying to help, tossed them on the floor... all broken.

That would be the only time everyone could see the boy boiling with anger and sadness, crying and running to their parents arm once he saw them again without a scratch. He might be young but that's an ugly sight and he have some kind of understanding of that death means.

Ok, Belphie, good luck getting Mc to even let you near the baby, they or any of the brothers. Belphie is really sorry after all the Lilith explanation, but if your child isn't too fond of someone... Mc had all the rights to do the same. Mc starts to fear that their son may suffer the same fate as their other self. It takes... the rest of the year, thanks Belphie, you left the poor angel with an awful memory and your maniac laugh.

But that's only, and only if after forming a pact he can make the child to like him a little bit, he might also make Mc to like him more. Only after a pact, because a pact assure Mc they can stop Belphie. He really, really is sorry for what he did, he knows he deserves the coldness and dislike the angel gives him, but he wants to be friends with both of you, he is trying his best.

And he is so, so scare of Henry Jr's safety, and yours as well, what were you thinking having a child with an Angel??

If the little angel starts to like him, they will be sleeping together with Mc. Mc might wake up at any movement from both boys... you know... precautions.

Their relationship will improve, for now, sleep ☆

Well, it was longer than I expected, and I'm sleepy, it took me 5 hours @×@ I sometimes forget writing is just as hard as drawing

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#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor