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#(this unit's are especially painful for some reason)
ayakashibackstreet · 1 year
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(dabs) I did way better in class today, also we finished ten minutes early because we go through the material way too fast when it's just me
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odinsblog · 27 days
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“I had a Zionist grandmother who grew up, she grew up in Poland, she was supposed to go to Israel to study. Her father had paid for her for the first year of tuition. And then in 1939, when she was in her last year of high school, Germany and the Soviet Union invaded Poland.
She ended up for a couple of years in the Soviet-occupied part of Poland, which was how she ended up in Moscow. And by the time Germany occupied all of Poland. So then she spent the rest of her life living in Moscow.
And 45 years after the end of the war, dreaming of being able to go to Israel, but not being able to because she was now stuck in the Soviet Union. And so I think I was very infected by, infected in a non-derogatory sense, by my grandmother's dream of Israel. And I had my own dream of Israel growing up as a, as a Jewish kid who was bullied and beaten up and teased.
I just wanted to live in a country that, that was majority Jewish. I could not understand why my parents would want to go to the United States and live in another country where Jews are in the minority. My parents on the other hand just didn't want to be Jewish.
Like their only experience of being Jewish was being systematically discriminated against. They were both born during the Second World War, so they were second generation, utterly non-religious and separated from any Jewish tradition, except the tradition of being a targeted minority. So they just, they just wanted to go somewhere where they wouldn't be Jewish.
And so when I was 15, a year after we moved to the United States, I actually went to Israel planning to stay there and didn't. For a variety of reasons, but one of them was being confronted with, with what I found at the age of 15, a shockingly racist society.
So the first time I went to Israel was when I was 15, it was 1982. And then there was like an 18, 17 or 18 year gap.
And I started traveling to Israel regularly from 1999, 2000. And the first time I went back was to actually complete the research on the book about my grandmother's. So it's been a good 25 years that I've been coming back.
And I think Israel has undergone a lot of changes in that time. But no, I don't think that like the kind of Ashkenazi Sephardic racism that shocked me in 1982 has found subtler expressions. But politics of settlement have only been exacerbated.
And I still find them extremely painful to observe, especially because some of my beloved relatives are settlers.
I did visit them this last time I was in Israel, because I really wanted to see what it looked like for them.
I was compelled to go visit them because of a Facebook post that my cousin made. And just to give you an idea, I really hold these people very, very dear. But for years, I would go to Israel, Palestine and not tell them that I was there, because I kind of couldn't face them.
So it's been a number of years since I last saw them, a number of years since I went to that settlement. But my cousin had posted something on Facebook. It was a picture of her son playing the violin.
And she wrote, in one of the houses where they stayed in Gaza, there was a violin. He played for his soldiers and then put the violin back. And I found that post-heart-rending and eye-opening, the picture of him playing the violin was not from Gaza.
It was from earlier, but he had apparently told her about playing the violin in Gaza. And obviously she was worried about her son serving in Gaza and so she's posting about it. And she wants to assert that he is a good boy.
But also, entirely missing from that post and from her world view is that somebody lived in that house in Gaza. That violin belonged to somebody. Like, it was such an extraordinary example of the blindness that we were talking about a little bit earlier that I wanted to go visit them and kind of engage with that blindness more.
And I got a really good dose of blindness to the point where, and we had this incredible moment when we went walking around the settlement after Shabbat lunch. And we sort of got to this hilltop where there's a swing and there's a little free library.
And we're looking out on a Palestinian village. And I said, what are we looking at, to my cousin? And she was trying to get her bearings.
And she said, where are we looking? And she named another settlement, which was kind of, which was not on our line of sight. It was like this literal example of looking at an actual Palestinian village that she drives past every day.
And before the village was sealed off after October 7th, she used to get gas there. And she knows it exists. But somehow she, also it also doesn't enter her geography.
It is nameless.”
—Masha Gessen, the descendant of Holocaust survivors, discusses the dehumanization of Palestinians (part 2 of 3)
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carionto · 8 months
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What Humans call the "Thousand Yard Stare"
As more and more Humans interact with and integrate within Coalition stations, reports, closer to hushed whispers really, began to circulate of some Humans being... discomforting... to be around.
Initially we thought it was just rudeness or passive aggressive behavior or any number of subtle actions or choice of words, no matter how advanced or civilized there will always be some assholes.
However, when some of these "offenders" were presented to us peacekeepers, we found them to be perfectly polite and reasonable. As our conversation continued and shifted topics, whenever there was a lull or the focus was on another speaker for a longer time, the Human's gaze drifted somewhat.
Sometimes she would look to the side and it was harder to tell what her exact expression was, but every so often she would be looking at one of us, but... not. It was as if she was staring at something behind us, through us even. Beyond the walls of the station, it even felt as though beyond space and time itself.
It was one of the most unnerving and chitin-chilling feelings we've ever felt, but then the Human seemed to notice our change and became that friendly and cheerful person once again:
"Sorry, my mind drifted there for a bit. What were you saying?"
And the conversation continued as if nothing was out of the ordinary for the Human.
Upon our return to our office, one of the Human peacekeepers heard about our impromptu assignment and offered this explanation after we told him what happened:
"Oh yeah, I think that person was a retired firefighter or rescue worker of some kind. Professions like that can be dangerous and you'll eventually encounter something horrible at a disaster site or crime scene. Probably saw someone die, or a person they rescued later didn't make it, or it was a kid... It's the toughest when you're the last one a child sees before..."
There it is again. That look, but with a tinge of sadness this time. We didn't know he was carrying such memories. The untimely death of anyone is a difficult time for those that survive, especially when it is the young whose life was still just starting. It seems Humans with their heightened senses and sensitivity to the feelings of others these kind of experiences imprint a far stronger memory than for most.
"Anyway, we've got a bunch of names for such things, but typically we call it the thousand yard stare. It's an old measurement unit, don't worry about it. I think the meaning may have changed a bit over the years, but basically some people go through traumatic stuff and they decide, consciously or not, to sort of... detach themselves from reality. It's a coping mechanism.
A few people thrive on horrible things, but they're the exception. Most of us would go crazy or depressed or any other infinite bad possibilities our brains can go in if we don't find a way to separate ourselves from certain realities. It can get real bad otherwise. It's rare, but a few go truly nuts and try to inflict their pain unto others. Most end up suffering alone for a long time. And some can't take it anymore and decide to end it themselves.
Thankfully therapists and support options are widely available, so those kind of scenarios are really rare, like... suicide accounts for about three out of a hundred thousand deaths last time I saw those charts. Plus drones and automation take care of most of the dangerous tasks, leaving the vast majority of cases to be caused by interpersonal relations actually. A broken heart is one of those traumas we'll never get rid of it seems. That's just life, I guess."
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stuckasmain · 6 months
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Hal’s deactivation is hard hitting across both the movie and the book. It’s been dissected a million times and likely more in the future. Most recently in the way of Hal having little agency…he has no arms to ward off his attacker or means of defense (but I’d argue killing Frank and the others was his defense, especially in the movie when his reasoning is more ambiguous). I do love the idea this is following and hope to see more of it in the future, however the way I’m approaching it is with a more romantic lense.
The entire lobotomy sequence is heart wrenching and almost worse in the novel purely because we get to see Dave’s thoughts on it. Not only do we hear Hal’s frightened pleas for his life but we get the ‘attacker’ perspective and it’s… an act of mercy.
While there is the themes of survival and violence this is approached with a softer touch. It’s much more that he is putting Hal out of his misery. Ending his suffering. Not putting him down like an animal but rather the harsh decision faced when one has an ill/dying lover.
“The only answer was to cut out the higher centers of this sick but brilliant brain, and to leave the purely automatic regulating systems in operation” 155
After the job is done Dave forgives Hal incredibly quickly once all of the facts are in. He can quickly pull together the mental break that must’ve happened and recognizes that Hal had the very human ‘fight or flight’ response to what he had been through. He had always been treated like a sixth crew member, respected and talked to like anyone else but it is only “post Mortem” that Dave recognizes how human Hal was and that true emotion might be more than theorizing.
“And yet, in one very real sense, he was not alone. Before he could be safe, be must be lonelier still.” 153
The fact that Dave genuinely sees Hal as his last true connection. Even after the murders. How he fights and forgives and comes up with excuses to not have to go through with the enviable because then will he be truly alone… but he also knows logically- Hal isn’t right and can’t be left active. Despite his feelings safety and protocol come first.
Hal is human in Dave’s eyes and it makes things all the more tragic, it’s what turns shutting off functions into lobotomy, into murder. He thinks he won’t feel pain, not because he’s machine but because there’s no sense in the human cortex. So human that his “true” voice is unrecognizable and horrifying.
“Bowman could bare no more. He jerked out the last unit, and Hal was silent forever.” 157
It’s not rage which he makes the final blow, it’s sorrow. It’s pulling the plug.
Some of Hal’s lines in the book particularly, as we get more insight into him as well and some of his pleading. His honest to god confusion and panic because he’s so young and has no idea of sleep and …
“I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me. . . You are destroying my mind. . . Don’t you understand? I will become childish. . . I will be nothing. . .” 156
I don’t know, I’m becoming borderline incoherent but there’s something here that’s so tender and sorrowful that I have to address it. I’m a sucker for the violence = intimacy metaphor just as anyone but the unwitting murderer is also an angle I have to adore.
Maybe in another life Hal got to be a little gay Victorian with someone to hold his hand on his sick bed rather than be murdered. I just think he deserves better; they both do.
Computer death sad -> he should be fed soup
This is when you know you should go to bed.
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dekusleftsock · 1 month
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I JUST HAD THIS REALIZATION IN THE SHOWER WHY HAVE I NEVER. THOUGHT ABOUT KATSUKI LIKE THIS.
So this is going to kind of go into Izuku’s bullying from Katsuki but it’s mainly if not entirely about why Katsuki has always stood out as a person, regardless of quirk or even leadership.
What got me thinking about this was actually those “American meets K-Drama bullies” on tiktok, which I often feel has a hint of xenophobia, but I digress.
One of the main points as to WHY the American in those examples would “win” is because of the cultural differences between fighting back vs shutting up and taking the beating. The main reason most Americans believed they would win is because culturally, a K drama bully would never think that their victim would retaliate, much less try to beat their ass in the first place.
Japan and China have similar cultural standards, especially to bullying (which is why bullying is so so bad statistically in Japan, with a whopping 57% bullying rate), and this “sit down and take the beating” cultural standard often permits bullies to continue to retaliate within the school. (Fun fact I was actually researching divorce in Japan for this due to some misinformation I’d read a while ago, but apparently Japan doesn’t have joint custody?? Like period?? It comes from the idea that a family is a set unit, and that were a parent to want to leave that unit, they are fundamentally no longer apart of it. No marriage, no custody, no child. You simply don’t see your kid very often, or ever. Sometimes this is even a decision on the father’s part, thinking that it’s “too painful to see the child after separation”, and that parents don’t see the benefit in children having both parties in their lives)
So, thinking of this in mind, I first went to why Izuku wouldn’t necessarily speak out or try to fight back. He wants to, he definitely almost does, but ends up standing silently shaking instead. Yes, fighting back may feel good, but even to people who would sympathize with said struggles may still blame the victim in this situation for “causing trouble”, it’s why Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship is even more interesting; it’s not just Izuku gaining confidence as he goes into high school, but that after he was given a space TO fight back (the first hero training), he actually started his arc on “defying society” and “not pushing things under the rug”. Tearing that rug to shreds doesn’t just mean looking out for those who haven’t been looked for, but also for destroying the standards that fighting back is a fault of yourself.
Tbh we also have this in the west as well, even those Americans who like to make those TikTok’s shaming people in countries they have no contextual idea to understand, much less solve. Because it’s not that fighting back itself would be hard, but that the social backlash would cause you to be even more of a target. It’s a lose-lose situation, so yes, a student will choose the wisdom of their parents and their elders that tells them to pretend it isn’t there.
But, besides that, in America (and I honestly wouldn’t doubt that this is in Europe too) the subtlety of that shame IS STILL THERE. I can even account for this in my middle school, for lightly pushing my bullies who ganged up on me, I was the one blamed and threatened punishment. The idea of a fight at all in high school would cause immediate suspension on both parties records, regardless of why or who started it. My brother in middle school was expelled for threatening kids who were both physically and vocally harassing him, and instead of any sort of help from the school, they REFUSED footage that might have defended him and my brother was then ostracized by my neighborhood/school district and thought to be some kid about to shoot up a school, he wasn’t.
Violence isn’t always the answer, obviously, but this is mainly to point out the hypocrisy of putting the west on this pedestal for fighting injustice.
I wanted to put this in somewhere but didn’t know where so it’s going here, but I find this take even funnier given the fact that North America has a 1% higher bullying rate than Asia which is so fucking funny and ironic
BUT BACK TO THE MAIN POINT ON KATSUKI, IM GETTING THERE I PROMISE🙏🙏
I think there’s this perception online of Katsuki that he is considered so unbelievably cool and normal given the context of his middle and elementary school, but putting it into perspective? Fighting your bullies, especially ones a year older than you, is REALLY WEIRD. Like, he’s an odd ball. It actually makes so much more sense as to why Izuku admires Katsuki in the first place. Katsuki has NEVER simply sat down and took the beating IN HIS LIFE.
And when you really think about it? All of that direct language, how rude he talks in Japanese (as in what pronouns he even uses for people, to the point that even the “softer” or “more intimate” pronouns he uses are… also kind of rude), and yk, suddenly, it’s almost like all the people at the beginning of their first year making fun of him… makes sense. And not just in a “lets humble this guy” way, they have no reasons to think of him in any kind of way really, they’re simply reacting to Katsuki and his odd way of speech and forwardness. He IS weird here, not just an asshole.
But EVEN GIVEN the fact that people know and think Katsuki is weird, he still strides along anyway. In fact, the only person who has ever gotten under his skin has been Izuku, who never even implied that he thought any malice of him in the first place.
Even now Katsuki continues to be himself to such a visceral, outward degree. I saw this post recently that was saying Izuku was actually quite mature for his age, but I’d argue that it’s less maturity, and more that he has just abided by a certain cultural standard of being thankful for the opportunities he’s been given.
It’s almost like Horikoshi has used Katsuki as this… idk, societal commentary? He certainly stays a societal commentary here in the west and our standards, often portraying more nuanced ideas of forgiveness and change and humility, but it’s different now that I think about it.
Katsuki isn’t just a character made to be rude for the sake of being funny, he’s an honest to god, walking, talking, culmination of what Japanese culture stands to change. It’s why Katsuki keeping his “hardened” traits is so so SO important. And it’s even more interesting given that he’s popular, he’s powerful, and he’s still bold while he does so.
Katsuki didn’t try to be popular, he just happened to do so. Explaining why he’s so bizarrely different from everyone else suddenly makes everything about his character make sense to me. Like, ofc Izuku would admire him to an almost worshipping degree, ofc he would stay in his life regardless of his flaws, Katsuki is himself in the most unapologetic way possible and THATS what’s truly admirable about him. His quirk, his determination, they’re both beautiful, but he’s the hero in his life because heroes inherently juxtapose the society around them. And that is exactly what Katsuki is.
And Katsuki, for all his flaws, never changed himself for society. He was always, long before he went to UA, before he even had his quirk, before he’d probably even met Izuku—been a hero.
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prodigal-if · 1 year
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Prodigal is an up-and-coming Murder Mystery IF that depicts a tale of deceit, latent pain, and a hidden past that could either heal or completely destroy.
The Reaper— it’s a name that’s haunted you for a little over two decades now. One of the most infamous serial killers of the 20th Century, in New York City. Killing over 25 people, most believing the final tally is much more, and not getting caught until one fateful day. When you were the reason behind his arrest.
The Reaper— the boogeyman made flesh.
The Reaper— the man that made New York City hold its breath until his arrest.
The Reaper— your father.
You’ve tried getting past it, fighting through the darkness that always seems to follow you, and for the last few years you’ve been fairly successful; working for the FBI giving you just the distraction you needed. Being one of their top profilers, as you found it easy to get into the mind of a killer, you even started to believe that your past would stop haunting you.
Until you were fired for misconduct and you found yourself back in New York City, back where it all happened. Will you finally be able to find peace? Especially when you begin to work with the Major Crimes Unit of the NYPD?
Or was the boogeyman just waiting all this time to finally strike?
Features
Customizable MC: name, nickname, some hobbies, appearance, sexuality, and gender. Other things will probably crop up as the story continues too.
Will you fight your demons or succumb to them?
Reconnect with your family after being away for so long. How much has changed? Will you be able to uncover things that are amiss?
Solve cases with the Major Crimes Unit, and solve a much deeper mystery that seems to always be lurking within the back of your mind.
Romance 1 of 4 potential options. Will they help you heal?
Don’t forget about the boogeyman…
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LINK — Prospective release Late March/Early April
Ross/Rose Garner
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Between Detective Bishop and Detective Garner, the latter is much more open to working with you than the former. With an open smile, that's only slightly tinged by weariness, they're willing to give you a chance and see where that takes them. Offering an olive branch, a helping hand, whenever you could use one. Will you be able to offer them something else in return?
Appearance: Detective Garner stands at a solid 5'10" with sharp blue eyes. Slightly curly, raven black hair complements their olive complexion, mixed with a light brown hue. They have a lithe body type.
Daniel/Danielle Bishop
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Detective Bishop isn't as open to you joining the Major Crimes Unit as a Consultant-- not because of any inherent dislike of you, though that may be there somewhere, but for the simple reason of not being as trusting as their partner and boss. Will you be able to crack through their defenses? To the person that's willing to quip an amused one-liner, or crack open a cold beer and hang out? Or will they forever remain a mystery to you?
Appearance: Detective Bishop stands at around 6'2" with closed-off gray eyes. Brown hair, with bits of golden highlights strewn throughout, brings out the fair complexion of their skin. They have an athletic body from years as an athlete beforehand.
Ethan/Emily Yang
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The mortician that helps the Major Crimes Unit with every case that comes their way. With an almost innocent quality about them, despite being surrounded by death on a daily basis, they couldn't help but be fascinated by you and your knowledge. Will you only ever share your scientific thoughts with them, and a joke or two, or will something else evolve as you continue to grow ever closer?
Appearance: Doctor Yang stands at a whopping height of 5'7" with intelligently kind brown eyes. Ebony black hairs brings out the porcelain hue of their skin. Along with the delicately slender quality of their body, Doctor Yang is surely a sight to behold.
Caleb/Carina Sinclair
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Your old partner in the FBI-- a person that took their job seriously, but you never believed that they'd leave you behind too. Their walls of ice, of stoicism and vast professionalism, had always fallen away for you and only you. They never looked at you like you were something broken because of your past. Will you ever find out the reason they left you behind? Or is it a case, a mystery, you're just never meant to solve?
Appearance: Special Agent Sinclair stands at a striking 6'5" with piercing green eyes-- the likes you've never seen before. Wavy, blonde hair complements the lightly tanned quality of their skin. Their muscular build, from hours spent training, barely being hidden by the standard issued suit for a Federal Agent.
Special: Can choose to have had a romantic entanglement with them in the past (something like FWBs).
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bcolfanfic · 3 months
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Hiii!!! to take your mind to kinder and softer things: any headcannons on josies first birthday with clegan?? will her uncles and aunts come by with truly threatrical gifts that sends buck and buckys eye twitching? will she demand to be carried around by her uncle croz and never be put down for a second? will there be some godawful birthday games that leaves her uncle curt a trip to the er because a game of pin the tail on the donkey is supremely misunderstood? will there be a quieter celebration during the nights bedtime where bucky brushes back her hair and sings happy birthday softly and buck uncharacteristically plays air guitar bc hes ever so freely playful in front of his two favorite people?
i hope everything goes well for you today and tomorrow!! sending love your way ♥️
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she’s just a girl living in wyoming, of course it’s horse themed.
gale and bucky have to put it (in bold) on the invitations they send out to the guys that under no circumstances are they to get her a horse, please.
demarco texts bucky and asks on a scale of 1-10 how mad he’d actually be if someone you know- hypothetically,
an 11. we are renting one that will go back to it’s horse house at the end of the day, so don’t worry about making up for us depriving our child.
this is the first real birthday celebration she’s ever had which makes gale emotional in the lead up when they’re talking about it and she doesn’t really get it.
he gets that- he never really had birthday parties growing up either. getting to do different by his little daughter makes his heart warm.
she has a few little friends from school there but it is mostly the guys and their various families that came into town for the the festivities. and josie kinda ditches her little school friends for them, whoops.
especially her moon and sun and stars uncle crosby.
has a little moment where she gets jealous of the attention he’s giving to his youngest who is just shy of a year old. and matter o-factly informs him it’s not that baby’s birthday, ‘s mine 😾
sweet thing she thinks the baby is cute and all just wants uncle crosby to herself. croz hands the baby off, and josie is quick to park herself in his arms before he can change his mind.
she’s absolutely big enough to walk, but it’s her birthday and she’s cute so uncle crosby does haul her around all day.
rosie rosenthal STUNS with a new talking customized pop up card of himself
he even provides him own replacement batteries this time, and gale tells him they ought to throw them away but he knows they won’t.
the guys spoil that girl rotten, and if it’s with some of the noisiest toys produced in the united states then well, so be it.
kenny is one of the few that doesn’t go the noisy toys route- he gets them a membership at a local children’s museum. and writes bucky his own card that makes him tear up.
because kenny remembers the bucky he saw spiraling overseas and that he spent years and tears so worried about. and now he’s here- and he just wants his buddy to know how proud of him he is.
curt doesn’t wind up in the ER but there is a little bit of a near miss when he gets lost in the haze and whacks his good leg with the piñata stick
sweet josie gets so worried, curt laughing through the pain when he hears her ask if they’re gonna have to cut that one off too (it’s just bruised, but she’s five and doesn’t really understand the one that had to get amputated was a little more injured)
gonna decide that gale plays the guitar in this au because why not. he picked it up after he came home from the war just to learn a new skill.
him sitting on the floor against josie’s bed playing it for her at bedtime while bucky sits in her little princess bed singing to her in his arms.
both guys get a little teary eyed- for more than one reason. because their baby is growing up, they can’t help but wish she was with them for her first four birthdays and because the road to get to where they are now singing their little daughter to sleep was long. especially for bucky.
but they made it to the good life damnit. 🩵
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pascaloverx · 2 months
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To Begin Again
ONE
Summary: You're a new teacher at a large and influential school. It's a risky step for you, as you've been running from your ex for almost two years. But when Dumbledore asks you to take on a class at the renowned Hogwarts, you can't refuse. However, your life as a newly arrived teacher won't be easy. Especially when the other teachers don't seem eager to make friends. Or rather, two teachers in particular: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.
Author's Note: Welcome, dear readers. Please leave your comments if you enjoy fanfiction. This fanfic takes place almost in the real world (with the addition of werewolves) and is not a wizarding fanfic. There will be some differences and changes in things from the Harry Potter story or other fanfics in the HP universe, but I promise to do my best writing this fanfic. There will be a love triangle coming in this fanfic.
AO3 LINK TWO
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To flee is easier than to face your problems, than to confront the demons you left behind long ago. And your life has become an eternal escape. Not only moving from place to place, teaching from school to school, you were living a temporary life each time.  Until one day, a letter arrived, yes, a letter for you from London. It said that you were invited to teach temporarily at Hogwarts Academy. Dumbledore needed you. He was a great friend of your father. They even taught at the same time, but when you were born, your father and mother decided to move to the United States for some undisclosed reason. But Dumbledore's letter comes to you as a good excuse to cover your tracks. Restart.
"What a piece of crap. My cell phone is out of battery and I'm lost in the middle of nowhere." You mumble to yourself. No one is listening anyway. A beautiful full moon night is in front of you, lighting your way. Hogwarts, despite being influential, seems to be located in the middle of nowhere. You jump back when you hear a loud howl. Are there wolves near a school? Isn't that dangerous? 
You look at your phone wishing there was some battery left so you could call someone. Noticing that it might be dangerous, you walk towards what you think might be the path. One step hurriedly each time. But the howls get closer and closer. Until you see a sign saying that Hogwarts is nearby. But as soon as you look ahead you see a dog. I mean, something similar to a dog but bigger. Or will it be a very hairy man?
"Leave or I'll throw my suitcase at you. Whatever you are." You say threatening the furry creature with your suitcase. The creature seems to stare at you, but not understand you. At that moment you laugh at your foolishness. Now who in their right mind would try to reason with a creature that doesn't seem to reason?
"Listen, I don't want to hurt you. I'm against animal abuse and I've participated in campaigns to rescue many from the streets. But if you come any closer, I won't have any other choice." You speak and while the canine creature or something looks like it's ready to attack you. When the creature gets a little closer, you throw your suitcase at it. With all the strength and aim possible. And then you run. Run as fast as possible, hitting some trees along the way but maintaining your speed. You hear the creature's grunts of pain. Then everything is silent, you rest a little. Your legs hurt, your arms are sore and bruised. And then you hear a long howl that alerts you that the creature is coming. And then you run again, as fast as you can. 
"I can't believe I'm going to die here, like this." You mumble as you run. You're so distracted that you don't notice a stranger in front of you. Until you bump into him. Making you both fall.
"Fuck. Don't you watch where you're going?" The stranger speaks in a rude tone and you look at him in confusion.Isn't he noticing that you're running from death? Or is he not hearing the furry creature's noises?
"Shut up and follow me." You say, holding the stranger's hand and asking him to follow you. Why you helped him, you don't know. But you wouldn't be able to sleep with guilty conscience if he died. Strangely, he follows you a little further into the forest. But who designed a school that has a forest with ferocious animals on the loose? 
"Come here." The stranger pulls you close to a hiding place. Hideout that actually seems designed for this type of situation. It's a small hut covered in bushes. You think about saying something but the stranger covers your mouth and points outside. Your eyes follow the stranger's fingers and you observe the creature outside. From a distance this creature looks like something from another world, from a fantasy world. A werewolf better said.  The creature sniffs for a while and then disappears into the forest.
"You saw that?" You ask the stranger who is currently adjusting his somewhat long, silky, and slightly wavy hair. Sweat is dripping down his forehead, but he seems fine. I mean, he's attractive. I mean, what the hell are you thinking?
"I did see it, still got the ability to see after some lunatic knocked me down out of nowhere. And you're welcome, by the way." The man says as he rummages through a closet. You look at him indignantly. What do you mean you should be grateful to him?
"Sorry to wake you up from that illusion you're in, but it's you who should be thanking me. That creature was about to attack both of us, and I pulled you to come with me. So, Prince Charming, get off your imaginary horse and thank me yourself." You respond proudly, starting to feel the pain of the bruises you accumulated along the way. 
"If that's how you feel, would you prefer to go out into the forest right now and try your luck?" The man says mockingly, and you glare at him angrily. What an idiot.
"Look, I'm new around here, and I don't want to sound presumptuous, but you seem like a jerk. But unlike you, I'm going to appreciate your help. Thank you for helping me escape from the big hairy creature out there. Satisfied?" You say, swallowing your pride, and then you extend your hand to the stranger. He gives a smirk, almost charming. What a jerk.
"Very satisfied. But now that we're here, would you mind telling me your name? I find it strange to spend the night with someone whose name I don't even know." The man says, sitting on the wooden chair next to you. You, who are sitting in an armchair, look at him, feeling strange about the idea of spending the night together.
"My name is Y/N. And yours?" You speak to avoid seeming rude, but the truth is, you want to know the reason why you'll have to spend the night together.
"Sirius. Sirius Black." He pauses before continuing, "And before you wonder, we have to spend the night here because it's still out there. But don't worry, as soon as dawn breaks, I'll take you to Hogwarts." Sirius speaks, squeezing your hand firmly. You shake hands, and he looks at you as if trying to unravel all your secrets.
"How do you know I want to go to Hogwarts?" You ask, and he smiles as if he finds it amusing.
"Let's just say I have a good sixth sense. Now, I suggest you rest. Tomorrow will be quite a day for you." Sirius says, handing you a pillow and a blanket. You thank him softly as you watch him grab another pillow and lie down on the floor. It looks uncomfortable, but you're too tired to be polite and offer to sleep on the floor instead.
"Hey, Sirius. Thank you so much for today. I might not be alive without you." You say sweetly and sleepily as you settle into the armchair. Sirius lifts his head and looks in your direction. Wow, he's handsome.
"I echo your words. The only difference is that I'd be alive with or without you. But I'm grateful for the company. It tends to be pretty boring around here." Sirius replies before turning over to sleep. You try not to dwell too much on what he said and then let sleep finally take hold of you. When morning comes, Sirius seems a bit more grumpy than before. You deduce that he might not be a morning person. You both leave the cabin early and walk for a while towards Hogwarts. The journey feels almost endless, but when you finally arrive, you're dazzled. The beauty of the architecture almost makes it worth almost dying to get in here.
"Well, princess, you're delivered. I won't be able to come in with you because I need to go check on something, but I'm sure we'll see each other again soon. Until then, take care. I won't always be here to save you." Sirius says, kissing the palm of your hand before leaving without giving you a chance to respond. You find him presumptuous but decide to move on.
Walking through the corridors of Hogwarts, you observe children playing from side to side. A boy with glasses and dark hair is hitting another boy with white hair on the ground, which startles you. You immediately run towards them. As you approach, you manage to separate the two, pulling the dark-haired one off the light-haired one. They both seem a bit bruised, and as you separate them, you realize that the effort has caused you significant pain in your back.
"You shouldn't be fighting. At least I think so." You say with some difficulty as you feel the pain growing. It's strange that despite the dark-haired one being the aggressor, he seems to take you more seriously. Meanwhile, the light-haired one is smiling mockingly with his arms crossed.
"And who are you to say anything?" Asks the child, around eleven or twelve years old, with a bruised face but intact hair. He's the one with the light hair.
"You must be thick, Malfoy, if you didn't notice that she must be our new teacher. Or maybe I hit you too hard." The dark-haired boy responds, already angry again. He seems both fearless and temperamental.
"Stop. Both of you! I don't want to hear insults or nonsense in my presence. You, with the white hair, I am your new teacher, so I suggest you change your tone when speaking. And you, with the dark hair, violence is not a solution to anything, not even insolence. Both of you, go far away from each other and think about how to be better." You speak calmly but very seriously. Despite their reluctance, both boys stop fighting and move on.
You feel the pain in your back get worse and walk to the first place you see an adult. Until you find a room, which seems almost abandoned. There is no one inside. You observe the room that has some old books scattered around and appears to be someone's room. 
"Can I help you?" A male voice speaks from behind you. You turn around nervously thinking it's rude to enter someone else's room. 
"I need help..." You were going to say more, but you were startled when you noticed a mark on the face of the man in front of you. You figured he must be in pain.
"There's no need to be afraid. I got involved in a mess last night and was a little injured." The man says getting closer and you feel like you're being rude.
"I'm sorry, I imagine it hurts. I'm sorry for my rudeness." You say, getting a little closer and looking deep into the man's eyes. Eyes you felt you've seen before.
"No need to apologize. It really hurts. My name is Remus and this is my room." Remus speaks as you watch him and before you can say anything, you simply pass out. 
                       
 To be continued...
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magicaldragons · 7 months
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'in the name of pain and outrage'
an analysis of the ending
I say this with utmost love, but episode 16 was a shitshow.
i walked into this show accepting it at face value – a show that would take itself lightly, with a compelling subplot marinated in humor, and a dose of sweet romance.
this show tried to include very mature, sobering themes with slapstick humor, which is definitely possible if balanced properly, but i feel this show was not able to achieve this the way do bong soon or others could.
to get some of the discrepancies out of the way:
they never told us that the women's senses were connected, geum joo should not have been able to feel namsoon's thirst – that's something they abruptly added to fuel the tension of the situation.
there is absolutely no reason nam soon would react like that to the drug, when you compare it to how every other user was affected by it.
the strength exerted by gil-joongan did not feel like enough to knock her out like that
and with how easy it would've been to leave the situation, it's very obvious that nam soon taking the drug was an ill-planned way to raise the stakes and increase suspense
the homeless couple truly had nothing of value to add to the show or it's message
none of the show's themes or messages were delivered properly towards the end, and it went against everything it preached.
the immediate tone change after ryu si-o's death did not do any justice to the effort put into his characterization
i do not understand how nam soon became a cop, all technicalities considered
why was she throwing humans out a window from the second floor, even if they're criminals??
they REALLY cheapened the whole marriage conversation by bringing money, property, and heirs into it. that was NOT romantic or wholesome. hee-sik deserves better parents, tf.
side note: i'm pretty disappointed with namsoon's character arc, but lee yoo mi worked within the purview of the script to give us honestly wonderful acting, especially in episode 15.
now, to get into the ending, i'll start with this:
what we got, felt like an empty victory. hollow and out of place.
i've always been an advocate for all parts of a show coming together to create an experience – there's usually no single keystone.
but as soon as si-o died, the rest of the episode felt like a blur, with all loose ends being succinctly wrapped up and prepared for season three. byeon woo seok, and his characterization really carried the show as a unit, and added to its cohesiveness. i did not find myself rooting for geum joo and nam soon's successes afterwards
because they had failed the ONE thing most of us had been hoping for them to do:
to save people who were victims of oppression from those with the power of money, and empower them, including to save si-o from his oppressors, and help him take down pavel.
there is no satisfaction in geum joo doing it by herself, because she has no emotional investment in destroying pavel.
losing hwaja and si-o, watching namsoon & heesik become one dimensional all of a sudden, and seeing tertiary unrelated characters having their loose ends tied, is extremely unsatisfactory – for a show that had an incredible cast and so much potential.
at the same time: i loved the portreyal of gil joongan's mission to help the elderly and her enthusiasm for her future, and the addition of binbin + looking into their past from an additional angle also really elevated the emotional context of si-o's character arc.
i loved each character, truly, and to not see the plot and writers give them the detail and care they deserve, is wholly disappointing.
the show took me on a whole journey, emotionally,,,but to know exactly what would make it better, and be aware of its discrepancies makes me grieve the potential it had to truly leave an impact on its viewers, with a solid takeaway message.
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rerinko · 1 month
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There may be some slight grammatical errors i'm going to go back over it soon!
Chappell Roan “Good Luck Babe”: The song “Good Luck Babe” by Chappel Roan has blown up online. I personally love the song and I love Chappell Roan. I love seeing any sapphic media in general but especially lesbian specific media. One thing that has come along with the success of this song has been debates online. Debates about comphet, biphobia and lesbiphobia. I couldn't help but join those debates but I quickly learned short form comments aren't the best way to express your opinion coherently.
I saw this one video on TikTok that I can no longer find. It may have been deleted. In this video this bisexual woman on TikTok talked about how she kept seeing this idea that if you identify as bi but you're unfulfilled by relationships with men then you aren't bi. She also brought up how consistently marriage hasn't always been the best for women and just because she is straight doesn't mean a woman will be fulfilled by a relationship with any man. It's also biphobic to say so due those reasons. The lack of fulfillment I reference when talking about the realization that you are a lesbian is very different from the lack of fulfillment straight or bi women can experience in a relationship. A woman who likes men can be unfulfilled in a relationship with a man but that reason does not boil down to the fact that they are a man. If you are a lesbian a man could be perfect, they could provide everything, treat you amazingly, you could even have a good sex life and think you're in love but still no matter what there's something wrong. It's not him or his actions, it's the fact that it's “a him” in the first place. The reason why so many women never realize they're a lesbian is because it's so normalized to be unfulfilled in a relationship with a man. But being is a lesbian not just being unfulfilled with men but being unfulfilled with men in a way that you aren't with women. Straight or bi women have the ability to truly love and be fulfilled by a man. Lesbians do not. This is not to say every relationship is fulfilling. Just because you're with the gender you like, you like this person and you're in a relationship doesn't inherently make the relationship fulfilling. Relationships are complicated and many of them can bring more stress and pain to one's life than love and happiness.
I have seen many TikTok comments say comphet isn't a lesbian only experience and any queer people can experience and I simply do not agree. Lesbians are unique, it is the one sexuality that doesn't include men. The entire world is structured around men, this is a man's world. Women to this day in Canada and the United States can't get sterilized without their husbands consent. Realtors and car salesmen will automatically talk to the husband even if the wife is the one with the money making the purchase. When a woman gets married she takes her husband's last name. From a young age women are socialized to centre their entire life around men. From what we wear, to how we speak, even down to our interests we're taught to change it for the fancy of men. I grew up watching romance movies and I always wanted my own Prince Charming. It seemed like in every show I watched aimed at young girls the happy ending was the main girl getting the guy she wanted. We're never our own people. We are first the property of our fathers then our husbands. But isn't that the issue? When you're a lesbian there is no husband. There is no fairy tale ending, there is no Prince Charming, there's no man to stand up for you against misogynistic men in general. When you realize that you feel like a failure. You want to fit in. You want to talk with your girl friends about your boy crushes and gossip with them. You want to be one of the girls, you want to be normal, you want to like a boy. So you do. You choose one or someone just happens to be available and at first you like the attention. You like the butterflies because you've never held hands romantically before. You even think about him at night and imagine what your first kiss would be like. Then your first kiss actually happens and something feels wrong. You try again and again and nothing makes sense because you thought you liked him. Then you kiss a girl and it all makes sense. I wished I was bisexual, because I at least could've had a chance of marrying a man.
Men can be men. They don't need a wife, sure it's an add on but it's more like a trophy or an accessory they bare. Men can find success while single, they can be respected while single and they don't need their wives consent to do things. Gay men don't have to mourn privileges they will no longer gain because they are gay due to their gender. Men in general will never have to worry about so many things women do. Comphet isn't just being closeted it's about survival in society. It's about you being in denial because your entire life you've been shown there's only one way to be happy and that's to love a man and you'll never love a man. I'm sure all of these issues get even worse in more traditional cultures where men have all of the power making ability.
Bisexual women also face homophobia. I have spent much of this talking about bisexual women liking men but I do want to highlight the fact that bisexual women are also queer. Bisexual women share in the pain of being a queer women. They are often fetitzhed by men even by men they're in relationships and like lesbians assaulted due to the fact they like women. I don't think bisexual women are any less queer than lesbians but I do believe we go through different experiences. We both share the joy and pain of loving women but bisexual women will never understand the pain of not liking men.
Chappell Roan is a lesbian who makes songs about the lesbian experience. I've seen some people talk about the bridge and how they didn't realize it was about a lesbian and instead thought it was about a straight woman.
“When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night
With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife
And when you think about me, all of those years ago
You're standing face to face with "I told you so"
You know I hate to say it, I told you so”
This commenter expanded by saying they just assumed it was about a straight woman who had lost her identity to her husband. I could understand how someone could come to this conclusion after one listen but I think after another few listens you can completely tell this song is about being a closeted lesbian.
This song to me almost feels like a secret summer love affair. One person wants to tell everyone and scream about their love from the rooftops and the other isn't ready to come out. They aren't ready to call what they have love because if they actually admitted it they would be admitting they never truly loved a man. They would have to come to terms with the fact they won't have a “normal” life, they won't have a nuclear family and no matter what not everyone will approve of them. These two people then split down two different paths. One accepts who they are but the other goes on to live a lie. They marry a man despite who they truly are and this bridge is the manifestation of the betrayal of your true self.
Someone's personal interpretation is different from the intended interpretation by the artist. Having your own interpretation is completely valid and it's one of the main things that draws peoples to art. But when art is made with a specific audience in mind actively speaking over those people and saying “oh well I think it's actually about this.” Is just whataboutism. Not everything has to be about everyone and you can relate to something without it being about you.
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voidandabyssal · 6 months
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Can I get add the swap and swapfell brothers to the Amalgam request? Maybe even Horrortale?
Of course you can! here's the link to the first amalgram post! I'll just do the Swap and SwapFell brothers for now though.
Blue:
when you go missing he's the first to notice. Both of you text pretty frequently when your not around each other (which is pretty rare in of itself). He visits your home, then your job, then any other areas your known to frequently vist. Getting more and more worried as you remain missing for longer and don't respond to his calls.
He calls Stretch out to help with looking for you, his brother knows a lot of people so they'd both find out pretty soon that you were last seen visiting Undyne.
Blue decides to sneak into Undyne's lab. Though he does think the best, "probably just some medical check up you forgot to tell him about. Nothing big!"
Immediately goes to comforting you when he does find you.
Keeps hugging you even when you try and push him away, apologising for melting over him.
He confronts Undyne he confesses to hiding both yourself and the rest of the amalgamites away.
Blue calls in Alphys to help deal with the situation and re-unite everyone. Then he and Stretch take you back home. He promises to help you in any way.
He tries to do what you want, if you want to find a cure, then he's recruiting Stretch, even a regretful Undyne to the cause. You just want to learn to live again? Yep and he's by your side every step of the way
Stretch:
Immediately suspicious when you just disappear. That's unusual for you. He asks around and finds that a few of his bar friends saw you and Undyne together. Weird, especially cause you don't really know her.
He shoots a text to Undyne asking her where you are. When she starts acting weird, changing subject, ignoring phone calls, asking dumb questions, he gets really suspicious
He goes down into the old lab his father used to work in. Guessing that Undyne still uses it.
Imagine his surprise (and horror) when he finds you, malformed, melting and in constant pain.
He carries you up and confronts Undyne. It's not a confrontation that goes well...
Of course Undyne is heartbroken and riddled with guilt. She had never thought that determination could do something like that.
Stretch keeps you in the lab. Hoping that with him and Undyne's intelligence, a cure could be found quickly.
He grabs things from your home that he knows would comfort you. Blankets, clothes, books, anything that keeps you stable and happy.
Somehow still manages to make time for cuddles.
Black (SF Sans)
boy if you even think you're leaving his eyesight!!!
seriously tho, I can only imagine Black would ever let someone like, euugh, Undyne, if you were in serious trouble.
Likely you had some serious health issues, or maybe you even fell down.
Whatever the case, he was desperate to help you and Undyne's kind of the only qualified doctor they have left. So off you go...
yeah, it doesn't go well. Black genuinely tries to murder Undyne. He takes this not only as a slight against you, but as action against him.
You're under HIS protection, meaning when someone fucks with you, they fuck with him.
Mutt steps in and manages to calm his brother down, pointing out that Undyne may actually be one of the only people to be able to help you.
Black keeps a VERY close eye on you. If you haven't already moved in with him, you are now!
Tasks his brother with keeping you safe when he has to leave.
Mutt (SF Papyrus):
probably the one to fuck up this time, ngl.
He was actually apart of the royal scientists before he left it. Like Black, he wouldn't want any science experiment stuff going on and he tries to keep you seperate from it.
We don't always get what we want though, from one reason to another, bad timing, thoughtless decisions, etc. You ended up overdosing from two much determination.
the guilt almost cracks his soul in two. He can't look you in the eye after what happened.
Keeps you hidden away in the true lab, occasionally popping in when he's either really drunk, high, or holding some new serum that's supposed to cure you.
Poor boy already struggled with substance abuse, this just makes it worse.
When he shortcuts in drunk; he just cries, holding your malformed body and crying apologies and begging for forgiveness.
Then he disappears in the morning when he wakes up hungover as hell and realises what he'd done.
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cosmica-galaxy · 7 months
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What's Titans and Readers dynamic between each other? What do titans think of Reader? How would they officially meet?
The Cameraman titan and the Speakerman titan meet the human both at the same time, while the TV titan meets them a little bit later on after he's finished repairing. Since the human was found after the Speaker titan was rescued. The Camera Titan is like a very VERY big brother to the human. They are always happy to see each other and the titan will usually stick out his hand to allow them to get up close. The human and him hang out regularly when they can and their dynamic is mostly on good terms with each other, like best friends. The titan, like the cameras, is a little bit curious about your kind as well. But similarly to the veteran, he seems to understand what human beings are...or were. As he was there during the early days of the war and he saw quite a few back in the day. However, he hasn't seem them in a while...he wonders where they all went? He hopes that they are just hiding out there somewhere until all of this blows over...but seeing what the skibidis are capable of doing to humans...he can see why you get very sad when the topic of your people gets brought up. He can't imagine the pain you're feeling, he'll do his best to win this war and free the land once again of these singing menaces. Justice for all...especially for your fallen people. The Speaker Titan was a little rocky to know at first. The moment the two first met, he thought they were a skibidi (because he could only see their head) and almost blasted them to shit inside the hangar, but was stopped by the camera titan. Once it was revealed that they were NOT a skibidi spy hiding in their hangar, the titan relaxed...a bit. He strangely doesn't recall seeing a unit like you...what are you anyway? He wouldn't be as familiar with humanity as the camera titan is, as the fall of cities began to happen when the toilets began to evolve...he thinks he's seen a few...but everything is blurry after the...incident. Once he gets to know the human more, he finds that they have lots of things in common...especially hating skibidis. At least he still has his people...after you explained what happened to yours and how you could possibly be the only one left alive...he just gains a new reason to fight even harder. The TV titan is a sudden experience when the human just sees this massive titan appear out of nowhere onto the battlefield. He reminds them of Vee and the Tvwoman they met some time ago...despite his size, he's equally as silly...and thrice as powerful. Seeing him tear through the enemy like paper fills the human with a sense of awe and maybe a little bit of fear. But once it is all said and done, the titan finally takes notice of the oddball amongst all the units. Seeing such a large being that radiates such power bend down to get a better look at you...it makes your heart thunder in your chest. He was a scary titan...but he makes up for it in his personality. He REALLY reminds you of Vee and how both can be intimidating but hilarious at the same time. He's also quite curious of you and will gently poke you and rub your hair with his finger every now and then, making you lightly bat it away as you exclaim "My hair! Nooo!" in a lighthearted manner. But once he gets the explanation of why you're the only one around, he becomes strangely stoic. Then, he gives you another gentle pat before saying: "Do not worry. ALL TOILETS WILL DIE."
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cmtcahrule · 9 months
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No Words. Part 2.
For those who can't or won't watch.
26. After our wedding I had purchased all of these lanterns. I had this storage unit of all of these lanterns because they really went with the vibe. I had him and his friends drive them in a U-Haul to Texas which was really helpful until they got stopped at the border with weed and went to jail. So they helped when they could.
27. So when things really blew up for him, which I knew took some years, and you were in the spotlight at red carpets, and you were at big movie premiers, and more eyes were on you, how did that feel? Like you had the taste of fame from the hosting, but did you like being in that spotlight of Hollywood? It felt really weird. Like I should be asking questions. I felt like I still wanted to be the person asking questions. There’s always a fine line. You want to be a supportive wife. But you don’t want to lose your identity. Your husband’s career is going one direction but I have always found it tricky to be a supportive wife and maintain everything else that I want. How can I maintain my young, bitch self and be who I am?
28. I wondered how you felt when he was doing really well and you had to come along for the ride? Everything goes back to relationships. We were best friends. We went everywhere together. We didn’t have kids for 5 years. We were together on every set and every experience. I have so many of my friends from his movie sets like Social Network.
29. Where were you when your marriage was ending? Were you ready? I don’t think anyone is ready. I am such a family person. My family is everything. I would literally do anything to take any pain away from my kid. There is literally nothing I would not do.
30. I am a very Christmas card, basic bitch girl who believes family is more important than life or work. I would honestly do anything to keep my family together.
31. During COVID ahead of the divorce announcement: He was having struggles with his dad. He said mentally I am not OK. Like for me, if anyone said I am not OK, you don’t argue with that.
32. Long story short, he left. I saw some text messages that were not supposed to be sent to me.
33. You know what, we have worked so hard and come so far, you just don’t leave your family during a global pandemic. Especially with everything that we have been through.
34.Yes, family is important, but some people are OK with infidelity, but some people can move on, some people can turn a blind eye, but I fucking deserve the world and I am not the girl.
35. I think people make mistakes but I was never going to stay in a relationship where I was disrespected.
36. I remember screaming and crying and not understanding how and why that this could even be happening after we had so many plans. We wanted more kids. We wanted to be in this neighborhood.
37. It was the most horrible time of my life. I am strong. Yes, you are strong as fuck. From the sidelines, watching you…the way you handled it should be written about.
38. Did he try to fight for the marriage when you wanted to end it? He was not in a great place at the time. I won’t speak on his behalf in terms of treatment but all I wanted for him was for him to get help.
39. I drove him to the airport.
40. A good place to heal is where there is no paparazzi or tabloids. I honestly think that one more year might be our “safe zone” here. It is not like we are hiding but I just want to protect them until they can understand that we are both in really healthy places now.
41. I told my daughter I will buy half of your car if you wait until you are 16 to have a phone.
42. I don’t want to overstep but this came out in the media that Armie is paying $1,500 per month in child support and for some reason that became public. I have built a really successful company and I have 3 shows right now in production. I am so grateful for the success of my company and my team. I can sit here and literally spend however many dollars on another year of arguing back and forth with him about how much money and it is such a waste. I will provide for our kids. They are with me all the time.
43. We were in LA and we were staying at my friend’s house and together putting the kids to sleep and reading a book together. That is what kids want and that is what makes them happy. If that is the one thing I can give them I will. There is nothing I won’t do for them. They didn’t ask for any of this.
44. Are you still dating your hot boyfriend? Yes. He is amazing. He is from Lithuania. Born and raised in a small village. He is a physical therapist. I am in love and I love him.
45. So if you move to LA is he going to come? I don’t know. Everyone says the city will ruin him. He is very traditional. He is only 26.
46. The kids love him so much. He is so present and great with them. He is never on his phone.
47. Our family of four, including Armie, is really important to them. That is their identity now.
48. Regarding work: I am excited for the one on Discovery. It is basically a Dateline but with modern terms. Toxic relationships. I am manifesting 300 seasons of it.
49. We have also done a show on Hulu about opening the location here in Cayman which I am hosting and producing. A couple of other ones that just sold.
50. In the end, everything comes down to trauma. Maybe you are filling a void you did not have when you were younger. We are all products of our upbringing. And that really manifests itself in romantic relationships.
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sexualsam · 1 year
Text
What's Lost is Lost
Hey guys, not really sure if anyone is still active on this account anymore but I had this Idea in my head and I couldn’t get it out until I wrote it. Also, I have a new obsession which is who this short one shot is about. Enjoy my manic writing
Word Count: 1,151
Imagine: Meeting Geralt for the first time in a tavern you work at. At least to you it’s the first time. (Semi angsty Geralt)
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Loud laughter and the smell of alcohol flooded your senses, much like it did every night. The tavern was especially full tonight due to some event that had taken place about two doors down. Men were hollering for food and ale left and right, and it was your job to bring it to them. A pretty smile and a mildly revealing dress brought business to you but didn’t do too much in ways of respect.  
“Oi, another one!”   You made eye contact with the man who was already well on his was of having a massive hangover tomorrow and nodded.  
“Here you go love.” You placed the mug down on his table as he slammed his coin down and gave you a lewd stare. You gave him an innocent smile in return and grabbed the payment before walking away.  
Tonight couldn’t go by any faster.
You stood back behind the bar, watching as the patrons enjoyed their time. Talking, drinking, laughing, just living their lives, blissfully naive. You couldn’t help but softly laugh to yourself.   No one here had any idea of what the real Continent was like. How cruel it could be, how power-hungry and callous it really was.   Everyone in here was safe from the outside. Redania’s walls protected them from any harm. Now that was something truly laughable.  
It seemed as if your frigid thoughts had become real and escaped into the tavern itself. All the enjoyment of patrons had disappeared and turned into a sudden united feeling of animosity.   You glanced up from the dirty spot you were wiping down, trying to find the source. The brittle air from the door swinging open was the only thing that had changed, aside from the sudden lack of noise. You kept looking around, trying to find the misplacement.
A tall, robed figure, dressed in black with silver stands of hair peeking from underneath the hood. A strong sense of urgency came with your findings, almost as if something was telling you to run and fast. But you didn’t, you kept your place behind the bar, watching as the newcomer continued walking.  
“We don’t like your kind ‘round here.”   Your eyes shot over to the disruption of silence.  
“Mutant”
The stillness had been broken as more people spoke.   Venemous words poured out from the mouths of the patrons, like it was a common occurrence for them.  
A low hum came from the silver haired man, and he just continued walking as the insults grew.  
“I’ll be on my way soon enough.” His voice was deep, deep enough to settle down the vindictive voices. As soon as he spoke, the silence was back, soon enough so was the chatter.   The dim light from the lanterns slowly illuminated his features as he drew closer.  
He lowered his hood, and you were now fully able to see his features.   Silver hair, almost like mercury, messy and disheveled. Black leather armor, with scattered silver studs.   A sharp, but pained face. Along with a pair of piercing yellow eyes.
“Ale?” He nodded, staring at you. His gaze pierced yours.
“And...”
You looked up from pouring his tankard as he paused with his words.  
“Why is someone like you working as a bar wench?” His voice was low this time, leaning more into the bar top.  
You were taken aback. Who was he to question you? He may be a more handsome type but there was no right to objectify you like that. As much as you wanted to berate him for his words, you kept an innocent smile on your face.  
“Just ‘tryn to make ends meet.” You kept your chaste grin as you handed him his frothy drink.  
“No.” His voice was still low as he talked.
“That’s not what I meant, Y/n.”
Your smile faltered and you looked around. The villagers here loved gossip and that was the majority of the reason why you kept yourself in the shadows. They all wanted to be in the next person's business for tomorrow's latest scandal.
“That’s not my name.”
He just kept staring at you, his expression grew harder with each passing second. And so did the silence between you two.  
“Coin?” You held out your hand, waiting for him to drop his pay into your palm. But he didn’t. He cocked his head to the side and let out the same hum he had when he first entered the tavern.  
That same intense feeling of needing to run away came back once more, but again you didn’t. You kept your hand out, awaiting his payment until he finally dropped a small bag into your grasp. Just by the weight of it, you knew it was far too much.  
“For ends meet.” He leaned off the counter and dropped his eyes.   Without saying a word, he put his hood back on his head once more and turned to leave.   You watched him walk away, the same sense of fleeing still hanging on in your mind.   You ignored it yet again and opened the pouch he had given you. You were right, it was far too much.   You looked down at his untouched tankard.   Far too much for a drink he didn’t touch once.  
He walked out of the tavern and mounted Roach.   Its her. Those were the only words that haunted his mind. He knew it was her. He could never forget her, never stop thinking about her. Nothing about her was forgettable.  
He rode to the outskirts of Blaviken, where the road met the woods.   This is where he was going to find it.   The monster that had been haunting the village. More importantly, the monster he had been paid to kill.  
He set up camp along the river. It gave him plenty of access to water for himself and his horse, as well as a means of having a shower after a long day of traveling.   It was very much needed.   He had traveled from village to village, killing what was needed for coin. It was the life he lived. But not his sole adventure. He had been looking for her for quite some time now, around a year. He had heard of a bar wench in Blaviken that had her features, and her temperament. But it was gone. This girl that he had just spoken to wasn’t the same.   The remarks that he had heard people say about her would’ve sent her into a rage. The remarks that she had heard people say about him would've caused some type of casual battle.  
Rage was common for her, at least the real her, but for Geralt it was rare. He kept it concealed withing himself. Rage and hate are what cause unnecessary death and destruction, something he wasn’t too fond of. However, all he could feel right now was pure, unrectified rage.   Someone took him from her, and that was cause for death.
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aphrodisiac-siren · 1 year
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Dynasty of Flames
Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen-Royce Reader
Summary: Being born into the most respected and equally feared houses in the realm made people look up to you as if you were a god and the devil himself, in equal measure. People say that when a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin; and when news of the birth of Daemon's firstborn- a girl, spread, people could only wait in anticipation to see which side of the coin faced up during her birth.
Warnings: Incest (duh)
Masterlist
Part 15
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It had been a few months since Aemond had run away with Y/N, stealing her away from her own wedding. Over the course of the days that followed, both sides of the family had agreed to a marriage between the two of them. With Y/N now as Aemond's betrothed, she resided at King's Landing in the Red Keep with him while her family stayed at Dragonstone.
Alicent was delighted to, at last, see her son so happy with Y/N and she thanked the mother each day for at last bringing the both of them together.
Aegon too was just as happy, perhaps even more than his mother. He had wanted his brother and Y/N to end up together since they were children. It had gotten so frustrating for him to see them both constantly deny their feelings for one another and he was relieved that the both of them had finally put aside their pride and just admitted they were in love; even if that took the involvement of a witch and lot of teamwork among the green and black children.
It had been years since the Red Keep had been graced with Aemond's laugh; a sound that was like music to Alicent and she had to thank Y/N for it. She used to watch them fondly as they walked through the Godswood, hand in hand, lost in a conversation of their own as if they were the only ones who mattered in the world.
She smiled to herself, eager to have a talk with them regarding the wedding. The both of them were obviously madly in love, there was no reason the wedding should have to wait any longer; perhaps she would discuss it with them on the morrow.
Before she went to her bed to retire for the day and catch some sleep, she went to her husband's chambers first to make sure he was alright especially since his illness was getting worse by the hour.
She poured him a cup of some milk of the poppy, to help ease the pain.
"How is our sweet Y/N doing" the king asked, his voice sounding strained, as if it hurt for him to talk "how are things between her and Aemond"
"They are both rather happy" Alicent informed him with a smile, slightly disappointed at the endearment he used for the princess and for never once addressing Aemond, his own son, the same way "I plan on discussing the details regarding their wedding after we break our fast on the morrow"
"Yes, yes" Viserys sleepily mumbled "a sp-splendid idea"
Once she had pulled the blankets over him, she turned to head out to her own quarters until she heard the king murmur something softly.
"Yes?" she politely asked as she walked closer to him, to better hear what it is he had to say.
"It is you" he said, almost as a whisper, suddenly thinking that it was Rhaenyra he was talking to. With his illness getting worse, he sometimes used to have hallucinations, thinking he was talking to certain people who weren’t even physically present "if I believe it to be true"
"Believe what to be true" she asked, confused "my king?"
"Don't you remember?" he spoke with his eyes still shut "Aegon's dream"
"Aegon? Our son?"
"The prince that was promised"
"I don't understand Viserys" she truthfully told him. Alicent was rather patient with him, never getting irritated or annoyed whenever he broke out into one of his senseless rants.
"To unite the realm against the cold and the dark" he gasped for breath as he spoke "It is you, you are the one"
Alicent took a deep breath. After all these years, he had finally named Aegon as his successor though she was a bit hesitant this time, not sure if she was happy for her son or concerned about how her dear Rhaenyra might take the news. They'd only just become friends once again.
But in the end, a king's word was law.
"I understand" she simply told him before she left.
She would have to have him sign a royal decree on the morrow, stating that he had changed who was to inherit the iron throne after him.
Though things did not go as planned.
She was awoken from her slumber at a rather late hour to be made aware of her husband's sudden demise.
The queen was deeply saddened by the news; she might not have loved him as a wife but she did love him as his queen. And now with him not being able to announce it himself about the line of succession being changed, she and her father took steps to ensure that no one in the castle was to be made aware of the king's death.
The servants who did know, were locked away in the cellars until they took further action.
Alicent had sent for Aemond and told him about the king but requested him to speak to no one of this, not even Y/N. She told him how Viserys had wished for Aegon to be crowned king upon his death bed.
"Mother, what of Rhaenyra?" he asked in a hushed voice, brows furrowed in confusion "what of Y/N?"
Alicent knew Aemond was more concerned with the latter than the former. By crowning Aegon, Y/N would no longer be in line to ascend the throne. It was never formally announced but Aemond had informed her a while ago, that Rhaenyra had chosen Y/N as her successor instead of Jace. Alicent loved the girl dearly and was fully supportive, until of course, this morning when everything changed.
"She will never bend the knee" he told her earnestly.
"She will have to" Alicent sadly told him, taking her son's hands in her own "it was never my wish to supplant Rhaenyra nor take away Y/N's right to the throne. But it is what the king wished for and his word is law"
She then informed him of Aegon's absence from the castle and Aemond immediately volunteered to help find him even though Alicent was hesitant to allow him to go into the city. If gods forbid, something had happened to Aegon, Aemond would be the one who would have to take his place.
"I am his brother" he tenderly spoke, trying his best to provide comfort to his mother "I know his whereabouts far better than anyone else. Besides, I am well versed with the sword; Cole and I will be fine"
Tentatively, Alicent agreed to let him assist Ser Criston in finding Aegon in the city streets.
"Oh but mother," Aemond turned around to face her as he reached the doorway "when Y/N is to be made aware of this, I wish for it to be me who tells her. I do not want her to hear the news from anyone but me"
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It had been a few hours since Y/N had awoken from her sleep only to find herself locked in her chambers. She paced around the room, worrying about what was going on. Was the castle under attack? Had someone died? Was she going to die? Was Aemond alright?
Her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the doors creaking open and to her delight, her betrothed walked in, looking more glum than usual.
"Aemond, what is happening?" she asked as she walked toward him. To her surprise, all Aemond did was pull her close in a gentle embrace, resting his head on her shoulder, sighing with relief upon feeling her arms around his torso.
"I'm sorry" he kissed her forehead, unaware that it was ordered that his sweet Y/N be locked like some prisoner "I did not expect for you to be locked away, came here as soon as I heard"
"Is everything alright?" she leaned away slightly to look at him. He seemed much more stoic and rigid than usual, his eye refusing to meet hers.
She could tell when she hugged him how tense he was, not easing into the embrace like how he normally would. Even the kiss to the head seemed chased, almost like there was something grave playing on his mind that kept him from relaxing.
Aemond took a deep breath, clenching his jaw tightly which made his cheekbones more prominent.
"The king is dead" he stiffly informed her, his voice sounding as emotionless as he looked.
"What.." Y/N took a step back in disbelief, she hoped that she heard him wrong.
"He died in his sleep last night" he sighed as he went to stand by the fire, leaving the princess standing in the middle of the room. He didn’t know how to tell her this, but he knew he had to and he wanted it to be him she heard it from "in his death bed, with his last breath he told my mother of his final wish. He..."
He heaved a long sigh. There would be no easy way to tell her this.
"Mother wants you to get dressed and join me by the carriages, we are to attend a coronation at the sept" he looked away from her, knowing he wouldn’t be able to face her "of Aegon"
Y/N's gaze snapped toward him at the mention of this.
"Your brother plans to usurp the throne?" the princess marched toward him "Aemond this is treason!"
"The king himself said-"
"Well were there any witnesses?"
"You think my mother would spin a lie?" He turned to look at her, brows furrowed "do you truly think Aegon would steal the throne when he has never had the desire to be king?"
"Then why go ahead with it anyway?" Y/N was more enraged than confused, if the boy wasn't going to take his duties seriously as king, why force him to rule? It made no sense, to take away the throne from the rightful heir and give it to someone who never wanted it to begin with.
"Because it's what the king wanted!"
"Aemond this is madness, Rhaenyra is the rightful heir and you know it" she snapped, her voice going up an octave "the realm swore obeisance to her, your mother and grandfather included"
"Well yes, she was the heir and we all supported her claim" Aemond raised his voice too, patience growing thin "but now the king has chosen a different successor and we much provide the same support"
"You expect me to betray my queen and go against her? To just accept the fact that you plan on putting Aegon on the throne?" The princess scoffed, still struck with disbelief that this was even happening "you do realise that by doing so, you not only dethrone Rhaenyra but me as well?"
"I am next in line to the throne now" Aemond spoke with a serious tone, shoulders pushed back as he informed her of his station with pride "I am to take you as my wife and then perhaps someday, you will be queen"
"Perhaps?" Y/N scoffed with a chuckle of frustration. She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with him "there was never a 'perhaps' for me, I was going to be crowned queen. And as for you, you aren’t next in line; Aegon's sons are"
Aemond heaved a sigh as his gaze lingered on her.
He knew it was hopeless. She would not swear her loyalty to Aegon, not while she still believed that the king never named him heir and especially not when it meant that her claim to the throne would be invalidated.
He clenched his jaw and nodded silently.
"Forgive me then" he muttered lowly before he turned and marched toward the door, flinging it open and quickly shutting it.
The princess tried to run toward him before he could close the door but she was late in getting there. She heard a clicking sound, letting her know that he had locked her inside.
"Aemond!" She yelled as she pounded at the door with her fist "you will open this door right this instant"
"Make sure the princess doesn't leave" he yelled at one of the guards as he walked away from the room "the door is to remain shut until I open it myself"
When Aemond reached the end of the hallway, he ran into his mother who was already dressed in her green gown for the ceremony. She looked at him with an expression that was both sad and concerned.
"Y/N?" she simply said and Aemond understood what she meant.
He simply shook his head with a low grunt and Alicent sighed in defeat.
"I need to speak with her" she said in a low voice, even though she knew that there was nothing she could say that would change the princess' mind.
"I'll wait outside" Aemond gruffly said as he retrieved the key from his pocket, handing it to his mother "I doubt she'll want to speak to me after I locked her in"
Alicent silently took the key from her son's hand, before she made her way to Y/N's chambers.
Aemond, as promised, stood outside patiently.
Alicent hadn’t managed to convince the princess to swear to Aegon, which was expected but she did manage to convince her to accompany them to the sept which took quite some time.
Aemond was surprised that his mother had managed to do it, but he didn’t ask any questions. Alicent just informed him that she would be ready in a few moments and that the both of them should leave for the sept as soon as the princess is dressed.
Aegon seemed to be more miserable about this entire thing in comparison to Y/N. He looked like he would much rather be cleaning dung off the horses' arse than to be in his best attire whilst being dragged away to be crowned king.
He had absolutely no hopes that she might've agreed to attend her future brother-in-law's coronation, but he was taken by surprise when his mother told him Y/N would be present at the sept when they were in the carriage.
By the time Y/N and Aemond reached the sept, the townsfolk were already gathered inside and the royal family stood at the very front, near the alter. When Alicent and Otto looked toward the princess Y/N, they both sighed nervously, exchanging uncertain glances.
She was clad in a red dress with black embellishments. She had adorned a beautifully crafted tiara made from valyrian steel, a symbol of her being the one who should rule and not Aegon. She was wearing the colours of Rhaenyra, making a bold display of where her loyalties lay.
She did not utter a single word when she was ushered to stand at her betrothed's side. She gave him a sharp look and that was all. Helaena, who was stood beside the princess, hesitantly took her hand but relaxed when Y/N gave her a slight squeeze.
"Aegon never wanted any of this" she tried to tell her "none of us did, but mother said-"
"I do not wish to hear anything your mother has told you" Y/N cut her off. She knew she sounded rude but she could care less about their mother when they all were disrespecting her family and herself in a far worse fashion.
Years of being the sweet, compassionate princess and this was what she got in return; a slap in the face.
The reality of everything began to sink in:
Now everyone she loved and cherished would turn on each other and all would burn.
The sound of the trumpets and the drums snapped her out of her thoughts and brought her back to the present.
Aegon, who was still very upset about this whole thing, begrudgingly walked in between a path the king's guard had paved for him, raising their swords above his head as he passed them with a grim expression.
As he approached his family he immediately caught sight of Y/N. His fleeting moment of joy to see the princess, someone he cared for like a sister of his own, standing with his family, vanished the moment he drew a bit closer. His heart shattered when he saw her staring down at him with so much hate in her eyes that he wanted to run up to her and tell her he did not wish to be king, that he would much rather sail away on a ship and live a commoner's life. A single tear rolled down his face when he realised that the one person in this broken family of his, who loved him all these years was now among the ones who hated him the most.
As soon and he climbed the stairs he immediately turned to his left. 
"Y/N I.. " he began but his grandfather was quick to seize him by the arm and drag him toward the septon.
Aegon was not fully present during the ceremony. All he could think about was how difficult life would get from this point onwards. He was no longer a boy, free to do as he pleased. He was now King and quiet possibly the reason behind a war that would rob him of everything he held dear.
Taglist: @ladybug0095 @sahvlren @bunny24sstuff @dellalyra @ellabellabus07 @champomiell @fan-goddess @lilostif16
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Round 1, Group B: Matchup 6
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Mikado Ryuugamine vs Jun Fuyumi
Reasons for being generic + Propaganda below
Mikado Ryuugamine
Reasons:
Short black hair and grey eyes. The sheer difference in coolness between his name and his appearance is often pointed out by other characters. He is well aware. By far, the most normal looking drr character with no particular outstanding design quirk. Even the author's editor thought the series could be a rom-com centered on Mikado. The author questioned if everyone forgot that the protagonist is actually the headless black clad biker lady. He is just that average. (this is mentioned in the third light novel's afterword.)
Very plain looking boy. Short, straight black hair and dark eyes. Not especially tall or short, he's just below average. In a world where supernatural beings and super strength exist, he doesn't have anything going for him strength wise. People see him and don't really think anything of him. Now, I wouldn't exactly describe him as "normal" but that isn't related to his looks or physical abilities (also kinda spoilers, I'd recommend watching the show). Pretty normal hobbies too, like online forums, surfing the internet and hanging out with his friends.
Propaganda:
He is KEENLY aware of how Normal he is and he hates it because he's bored. he'd be so normal if he wasn't secretly insane. at one point he stabs himself with a ballpoint pen just to intimidate a gang. But he still looks so normal when he's masterminding gang violence. If you only watch the first season of the anime he will REMAIN normal to you and just seem like a very typical shonen protagonist with some power of (internet) friendship but as soon as you get into season 2 or volume 4 of the novels you will quickly see Mikado's descent into madness because he's just an adrenaline junkie. I want to study him like a bug. At one point he aquires a gun and it's horrible for everybody.
Jun Fuyumi
Reasons:
he's part of the obligatory band idol unit. there are characters in this branch with wild former jobs before becoming in an idol. he's literally just a high schooler.
Propaganda:
in a franchise full of idols that had former lives as, for example, a surgeon, royalty, or a soldier that has experienced the pain of loss during war... he's just a high schooler that plays piano, man. jun is a member of the idol band, highxjoker. his solo song, "genuine feelings", is gorgeous and he loves his unit very much, even if they make him want to tear his hair out sometimes. he is begging them to take their normal pills.
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