#(my anxiety is so bad I sweat after such things and I need to change immediately afterwards. sensory hell fr)

[a-very-fond-farewell]

actually, ykw? my dream is to be able to drive to ikea (I don’t have a license, I don’t ever want to be behind a wheel, and the closest ikea is a nightmare to reach), get in, purchase myself a Blåhaj plush, wrap it in paper af it were a bouquet of freshly picked flowers, get out, drive back home and walk around town with it as if I just popped to the market downstreet for that sole purpose. yeah. that will cure me.

#sneaky niki #I should have picked a Blåhaj back when I went last month #now it’s too late #oh but Niki you could order one online #1. ordering one and picking one from the toy section is NOT the same. vibes are off. pruny even #2. my neighbors open my mail when they think I don’t notice #which is insane in this economy but I’m not confrontational enough to discuss this with someone #*with anyone #3. they say romanticize your life. well there u go. online shopping does not do it for me #I need to touch stuff before I buy it #4. one does not choose a Blåhaj. a Blåhaj calls for u #(hope everyone reading this nonsense is having a good day. I’m procrastinating having a big phone call) #(my anxiety is so bad I sweat after such things and I need to change immediately afterwards. sensory hell fr) #(also maybe TMI in your case but oh well. a Blåhaj /would/ cure me about that too. go figure) #see ya!

[samkerrworshipper]

Medication - Leah Williamson

fluff, little bit of angst, anxiety attacks, mentions of depression, 3500 words

balled my eyes out to black fridays by tom odell and then this was birthed.

blurb:

your a rookie on the lionesses squad, who suffers from anxiety and when you stop taking your meds after learning you are starting a game in the euros everything goes downhill for you.

i am so sorry for how vague this was lol i’m writing this and publishing at 2:30 in the morning

I’d never liked gamedays. Everything felt different, all the feelings and emotions heightened. The pressure was insurmountable, especially when you are playing for your nation. Especially when you are one of the youngest, one of the least experienced, one of the youngsters. Today, we were playing Norway, my first game as a Lioness where I was a part of the starting line-up. It was a must win game, the stakes were high for us to win these Euro’s, especially considering it was a home euro’s for us. If we wanted to progress to the finals we couldn’t lose, the pressure was on.

I’d understood that as soon as I’d been notified that I was to start the match, understood that everything changed as soon as you were actually on the pitch. Our one point win over Austria had been great, but we were all hungrier for more, hungrier for the points that we needed to get us ahead in the competition. Sarina knew that there was an expectation for us to win, we all knew that.

I’d been feeling it all week, feeling the anxiety thrumming through my veins as we practised and went about our normal routine for the week. Something was different, it was my first year as a senior Lioness and I’d never been named as a starter. That was a big deal, a really big deal. That was all I could think about. What if I fucked it up? What if I messed up and they told me that I wasn’t going to be welcome back. What if Sarina saw me on the pitch and thought that I was worthless, useless, bad. That was all I could think about as we were standing in the tunnel getting ready to walk out. I was sandwiched in between Lucy and Beth. My hands shaking in my pockets and my breath quickening subconsciously. If I wasn’t aware of it then apparently the defender behind me was, because just as we were about to walk out I felt one of her hands fall to my shoulder, pulling me back into her just enough for her to be able to press her mouth to my ear and whisper,

“You’ve got this amore, you’re going to do perfectly fine,” Lucy’s voice was so strong, but so comforting. She was like an older sister to me, and had been since my first day at training camp. She had been the first person to believe in me besides my Arsenal teammates, the first person to really advocate for my future. She was also the first person on the Lionesses team besides Leah to learn about my struggles with anxiety, adhd and depression. She’d been a light in my life, texted me to make sure I was keeping up with my medication, or just to check in.

In the wake of the Euro’s I’d stopped taking my anxiety meds. I took Lorazepam, which worked really well for me, but it also tended to make me really drowsy and fatigued. Things that are not ideal when you are training and playing almost everyday for your country. It had positive effects, I definitely found it a lot easier to train and play my hardest, but there were a lot of negatives. Like how I was feeling right now. Like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, my hands getting clammy with sweat and shaking non stop like I’d just shot up on steroids. The sound of the crowd at Brighton didn’t help either as we walked out onto the pitch. I struggled to get through the national anthem and the pre game pleasantries, my chest and body hurting from the anxiety that was building up inside of my body.

I was grateful but also not to step out on the pitch properly. It felt like I was on a different planet, my senses overly heightened and my brain short circuiting almost everything.

I could feel Leah’s gaze on me as we all lined up to start the game, she worried about me, a lot. I was also her Arsenal teammate and she’d taken me under her wing beyond football, we’d become very close in our time spent together. I ignored her sidewards glances though, tasking myself with showing our nation that I deserved to be where I was and some jitters weren’t going to affect that.

My first half was rocky, normally with the mixture of adrenaline and endorphins my anxiety subsided when I started playing but this time I must have been too far gone, too much pent up anxiety built up for it to just fade away. It reflected in how I was playing, but our forwards had been flawless, slotting in six goals which put us in a lead that was pretty much untouchable. Clambering into the rooms at halftime was a charade. Everyone besides myself seemed ecstatic and hyped about our lead, I was on the inside but I was also wrapped up in my own bubble. I took a seat on the floor of the change rooms, taking in Serena’s speech about keeping our heads and just continuing what we were doing. I allowed Lucy to pass me a drink bottle, obliging her request for me to hydrate myself. She could tell something was up, she’d been hovering around me on the pitch, covering me. When one of the Norwegian girls had taken my feet out from under me she had immediately been at my side, pulling me up and then yelling at the umpire about how it had clearly been a foul if not a yellow. Leah had to pull her away just to ensure Lucy wouldn’t get carded herself, all whilst I stood there absolutely helpless as result of the amount of effort I was having to put into not collapsing from the amount of pain in my chest.

Leah kept it pretty brief after Serena, sticking to what she’d said and putting an emphasis on a few things before we headed back out. She managed to snag a grip on my jersey though as I trailed with the girls at the back of the group.

“Are you okay?” There was a little bit of captain in it, but it was mostly gentle, her voice a little bit rugged from the amount of yelling she’d done on the field.

“I’m fine.” Her facial expression was enough to tell me she didn’t believe a word I was saying.

“I’m telling Serena to sub you off, you clearly don’t look well enough to be playing.”

“I told you I feel fine Cap, I can play out the rest of the 90, please let me play it out.”

Leah looked conflicted, conflicted with what to do and how to react to my plea. I wasn’t one who begged very often, I didn’t see the point in it.

��Fine but y/n, as soon as anything happens out there, you put yourself in danger or someone else in danger you are going off, understood?”

I didn’t have any other option but to nod at Leah.

“Yes, captain.”

My voice had held some sarcasm as I tore her hand from the bottom of my jersey and started jogging back up the tunnel to catch up with girls that I’d previously been chatting to.

The last ten minutes of the second half was when bad transitioned to really not good. My body began to catch up with my over exertion and every second on the field became a battle. It was a blessing that the ball wasn’t really travelling down my end, Less and Toony had both been substituted in and were having a field day in our forward half kicking it back and forth to run the clock down. The Norwegian girls were giving it their best but you could tell they knew it was over. As the minutes passed though and we went into extra time I could feel my body really starting to get heavier, you could blame it on the lack of hydration and the english heat that we were playing in but I knew it was my body betraying me. I’d been denying my body for too long and it was catching up with me. I didn’t even know how many minutes of extra time we had, my vision was slowly blurring, my steps becoming wobbly and the pain in my chest becoming overbearing.

I could hear my opponent, I think it was Maren, or was it Guro? Asking me if I felt alright. I didn’t really comprehend it though, I couldn’t hear anything properly, it felt like I was underwater, my ears ringing out and my vision blacking over as I fell face first into the turf. Maren managed to catch me before I fully face planted into the grass, helping my limp form down to the ground before starting to yell out for help. It was then of course that the whistles blew and the match ended. I could make out the sounds of the crowd going nuts, maybe even my teammates on the sidelines yelling in triumph. I couldn’t open my eyes though and I definitely couldn’t make out the voice of Maren on the ground beside me trying to ask me questions and attract the attention of a medic. It was all mellowed out as my body succumbed to a coma like state that I’d forced myself into.

Leah and Lucy were the first two from my own team to locate me, passed out on the ground with Maren trying to provide as much privacy for me as possible whilst also pressing her hand to my throat to make sure that there wasn’t anything seriously wrong. It was Maren, Guro had been subbed off at the 84’ minute mark. I remembered that because I’d silently been wishing at the time that Serena would do the same, but she’d made her final changes and taking me off apparently hadn't been one of them.

“Y/n, can you open your eyes for me? Or squeeze my hand?”

I could feel Leah’s own hand fall into mine and I squeezed it as best as I could, it was enough for me to tell her that I was conscious enough to make out what she was saying to me.

“Good y/n/n, the medics are about to be here, can you try and open your eyes and talk for me?”

I tried my hardest to crack my eyes open, when I did finally muster up the will to open one of them I was met with the brightness of the stadium lights. I groaned almost immediately, being forced to take in my surroundings. I was surrounded by our trainers, who were draping different towels over my body in an attempt to cool me down and cover me. My cleats had been removed from my feet and someone was soaking my socks in cold water, something that I was not pleased to be awakened by.

“Good sweetheart, stay focused on me yeah, eyes on me.”

My eyes snapped back up to Leah, who was crouched above my head, Serena and Lucy’s heads were beside her own, staring down at me.

“The medics are going to come look at you and you are going to let them, okay?”

I almost immediately shook my head at Leah but she kept her jaw clenched and her stern face up.

“I’m not asking y/n, you just passed out on the field, you need to be assessed.”

I shook my head again and Leah rolled her eyes at me.

“An-n-xiety.”

I could hardly make out my own words in the stadium full of noise and the words themselves made me realise how much I was struggling to regulate my own breaths.

Leah nodded knowingly, suddenly everything seemed to come into perspective for her.

“You stopped taking your medication, didn’t you?”

I gulped and nodded at her, trying to block out all of the distractions that were happening around me. She looked annoyed at me, I cowered a little bit with the glare that she was giving me. After the last time I went on a sabbatical from my medication I swore to Leah I would never do it again.

As the medics crouched down next to me I shut my eyes again, it all becoming too much for my head. I let the medics fuss over me, I blacked out somewhere in between them putting me on a stretcher and getting me off the pitch.

I reawakened with sweat dripping down my body, all of the oxygen depleting from my body and my chest aching like it never had before. I choked a little bit as I sat up from my spot, gasping for air to enter my lungs. It took me a few seconds to recognise where I was, sitting inside the makeshift medical room at Brighton. My head was pounding and my whole body was aching.

“Y/n, look at me, you're having an anxiety attack, deep breaths.”

“Wh-what.” The words came out in a gasp as I struggled to take in any air, looking at Leah for guidance.

“We’re at Brighton, we just played Norway, you had an anxiety episode on the pitch. You’re having an attack right now, I need you to take deep breaths, follow me, in and out.”

I watched Leah as she exaggerated some deep breaths, if it hadn't been for the circumstance I probably would have laughed at her.

As I slowly started to take in more air she tried a different tactic.

“Good y/n/n, your doing so well my good girl. Can you tell me five things you can see?”

It was deflection, something that Leah had picked up on from her therapist.

“Serena, you, the light, Lucy and a drink bottle.”

Leah nodded at me encouragingly, rubbing slowly up my back as she continued.

“Good, you’re doing so well, how about four things you can feel?”

“Your breath, the scratchy blanket, my wet socks and I don’t know.”

My words were still choken as I used up whatever oxygen I was taking in to get the words out.

“That’s okay, that’s good, you are doing so well for me angel, how about three things you can hear?”

I tried to focus fully on Leah, on her words, her rubbing my back, her breath against my neck.

“Serena tapping her shoe, the heart monitor and the music from the changeroom.”

It was faint but if you focused in enough you could just hear the sound of my teammates in the change rooms, getting up to god knows that with the absence of their captain and manager.

“Perfect, you are doing absolutely perfectly. How about two things you can smell?”

“Antiseptic and your perfume.”

“Good, last one, one thing you can taste.”

I could feel my breath and body evening itself out, it felt like I was a piece of linen that was slowly but surely being ironed out, all of the crinkles and creases leaving my body.

“I don’t know.”

“Last one y/n, I know you can do it.”

“Metal, the iron taste from blood.”

Leah nodded at me, plastering a kiss on my forehead. Her words and actions being enough to bring me back down to earth fully. I very slowly took in my surroundings properly, Serena, Lucy and Keira were all sitting at the end of my bed, watching as Leah did her thing. I was hooked up to a few different things, cords and wires poking out of my extremities. A saline drip, heart monitor and another machine that I wasn’t sure the purpose of.

“Hey my girl, you back here with us now?”

I pushed my head into Leah’s chest, trying to hide from the world that I was now a participating member of.

“No hiding, not here,”

I groaned as Leah pushed me out of her chest, annoyed by the loss of contact and the confrontation of having to be put in front of some of the people I respected most.

“You gave us a fright back there, I think you came close to killing Maren.”

I gulped nervously, hanging onto every word that left Serena’s mouth, just bobbing my head in agreement because what else was I supposed to do.

“M’ sorry, didn’t mean to, just wanted to prove that I deserved to be here.”

Serena’s face held a kind of understanding, like she’d seen girls before me who had been the same, willing to die to prove their worth to the dutchwoman who we all regarded so highly.

“You wouldn’t be here in the first place if you didn’t deserve to be. It’s one thing to push yourself but to the point where you black out on the field is another thing. If it ever happens again y/n y/l/n then I can swear to you now that you will be benched, am I understood.” I nodded meekly at Serena,

“Yes ma’am.”

She nodded at me, she’d gotten her point across.

“Leah tells me this happened as a result of you not taking your medication?”

I pushed my head back into Leah’s chest, grunting at her when she pushed me out of it. I couldn’t do much else but nod at Serena.

“I get side effects ma’am, it makes me drowsy and sleepy, I didn’t want it to affect my game.”

Serena was very quick to fire back at me,

“You take medication to ensure that you feel well, there is no shame in that. If you are having a problem with side effects then you are to bring it up with one of our doctors, not boycott your medication entirely. From now on I am going to be responsible for your medication, you will come to me everyday to take it so I can ensure that you are receiving the correct doses so something like this does not occur again, is that understood?”

I gulped and nodded at Serena. She smiled at me knowingly in return.

“You are an elite athlete y/n, it is imperative that you care for your body. Or something like this happens, something with such magnitude that it can’t be overlooked. Your health and wellbeing comes first, always.”

I nodded at Serena once again, allowing her to give me a hug before leaving the room to give us some privacy. As soon as the door closed behind her I shed a few tears, I hated confrontation, it was one of my biggest fears.

“She’s right y’know, this could have been a lot worse, what if you’d put yourself in a really dangerous position because you were in a bad headspace and ended up seriously injured, you can’t just stop taking your medication randomly y/n, it’s not safe.”

Leah’s voice was murmured against my forehead, her lips staying plastered to the oily and cold skin.

“No one else on the team relies on medication to function, I thought I would be fine, I feel so stupid always being the one having to rely on shit to get through the day.”

I could feel Leah rolling her eyes from above me.

“No one else on the team struggles with intense anxiety and depression like you do, we are all different, we all function differently. There is no shame in needing medication y/n/n, Lucy uses an asthma puffer, does that make her stupid?”

I looked over at Lucy, it was different.

“No but it’s different.”

“How?”

Leah’s answer was fired back at me and I struggled slightly to recover from her sudden reply,

“Lucy has a physical problem, mine’s just in my head.”

“What you went through today seemed pretty physical to me.”

I was stumped by that answer, looking across at Kiera and Lucy who nodded along with what Leah was saying.

“You struggle with your mental health, there is no shame in that. You rely on medication. So what? Good for you for listening to your body and acknowledging that you need that to help you make it through the day. Y/n, there is absolutely nothing wrong with using medication to help you. If I felt sick, with the flu, and I needed antibiotics or whatever, would you think that I was weak for using them?”

I shook my head at Leah almost immediately, the question was a no brainer for me,

“Exactly, because I’d be taking the medication needed to keep me well and functioning. All you are doing is the same thing y/n, keeping yourself alive and well.”

#leah williamson #lionesses #woso #leah williamson x reader #serena wiegman #lucy bronze #fluff #anxiety attacks #medication #angst #i love leah williamson #golden retriever leah vibes #supportive moms #england lionesses x reader #lionesses x reader

[midnightcinderella]

People who would suffer at NRC

Each dorm has at least one of these students and god help them. This is very self-indulgent and each trait applies to me. If you relate, then rip to the both of us.

No proof-reading, we rawdog this shit. Word count: ~1300 Notes: no gendered pronouns for reader. mentions of ADHD, depression, and anxiety. mentions of illness. no romantic relationships

Heartslabyul

People with ADHD. Rip to us fr.

You'd forget at least a handful of rules a day, but it's really not your fault. Riddle better get off your case istg.

The ones who are more devoted to remaining productive make big colorful signs all over the damn place.

In their own rooms would be stuff like a box that says "keys and wallet go here" or a sign by the door with a checklist of what they need before they go, like homework or textbooks.

There are signs in common areas, too. They'll say stuff like curfew times or reminders of jobs that need to be done around the dorm.

There's always backlash if Riddle tries to take them down for being an eyesore because not only do they help ADHD students remember what needs to be done but students without ADHD, too. No sane person is gonna be thinking about feeding flamingos 24/7.

Savanaclaw

People with asthma. Place is dusty as shit. And hot. And humid at times.

I'm surprised the beastman students haven't taken any measure to seal off the inside of the dorm to prevent and from getting in. Guess everyone doesn't mind inhaling dust straight into their lungs.

Not to mention regular exercise is a dorm-wide tradition. Shoutout to my fellow mile walkers <3

If you have asthma and a dander/dust allergy, I'd just drop out tbh.

People who easily overheat/sweat. Double rip to us.

Get ready to go back and forth with your dormmates about smelling bad after sweating. It's a common occurrence. Someone sasses you, you sass back, and you're friends again 3 minutes later.

Everyone will think you're dying when you're dripping sweat after some stretches outside. No, you're not tired, you're just hot.

Octavinelle

People who are bad at math/bad with money. Listen.

The dorm isn't full of people who are as business minded as Azul, but there are students that offer accounting help for a fee. Negotiate that fee for the love of god.

Thankfully, you won't be scammed out of house and home because:

(1) it's generally frowned upon to scam people within Octavinelle; you don't hurt one of your own. It's about loyalty.

(2) someone is likely to take pity on you and will throw you a bone, telling you about a huge sale or where to find good job opportunities.

People who are gullible. Once again, double rip.

And once again, thank the lucky stars that loyalty is such a big thing here so you might be tricked into doing someone's job for them like mopping the Lounge, but nothing that would hurt you too badly.

If a study partner tries to feed you false information for shiggles, that'll get shut down real quick by another student. If your grades go down, then the whole dorm goes with you.

Good thing that doesn't happen often, and Azul offers his study guides for a highly discounted price to his own.

Scarabia

People who don't do well with sudden changes in temperature. Man, listen.

Hellishly hot during the day and even more hellishly cold at night. Dante would be thrilled.

God forbid you have any athletic activities close to sunset because you'll have to shower off that sweat quick before you freeze to death.

If anyone has a problem with the sound of the hairdryer after sundown, they're just gonna have to deal with it or risk catching your inevitable cold.

Speaking of, if sudden changes in temperature make you sick, double rip. I know your pain.

Kalim may not be able to come see you in person, but if he finds out you're sick, he'll send meds and some warm food. If that food was made by Jamil, then you owe him one.

You don't wanna owe him one.

If you need to leave your room after sundown, you're going to do it wrapped up with a blanket over your head. If someone mistakes you for a ghoul, that's their own problem.

Pomefiore

People with depression. Listen. Someone without depression could find it hard to keep such a strict regimen day in and day out; do not expect too much out of us.

If you think that means you're getting out of it, though, you'd be wrong.

Group accountability is a thing here. If you need help sticking to your routine, you're getting it. You can't refuse.

You're all going to be beautiful together, goddammit.

If that chronic fatigue be hittin ya, you might get a pass for a few steps of your routine. But if a particularly caring dormmate decides you have to do the full routine and straight up does it for you, lol.

Depending on how you view that sort of help, it might be really nice. Or maybe a little humiliating.

The dorm kitchen is only going to have healthy ready-made snacks. So if it's a day where you can't cook or go all the way to the cafeteria, that is what you're working with. Either that or you crawl your way over the the Shop for a candy bar.

Ignihyde

People who struggle with technology. Yes there are young people who aren't great with technology. We exist. Mind your business.

No matter how many classes you take teaching you how to use MagExcel, it never sticks for long. Even if you pass the exams, all your knowledge leaves to go buy milk by the time the week is over.

You're gonna need to interrupt people's gaming sessions to ask for help. It may annoy them, but you're doing it anyway because you refuse the reinvent the wheel 12 times.

People who prefer paper over screens. Call me old fashioned but staring at screens all day Hurts My Eyes.

You'd get physical copies of your textbooks if you could, but those free pdfs your classmates pass around are too tempting to pass up. They're free, for god's sake.

You also might be limited to board games on game nights. They're not bad, but there's not a whole lot you can do with them. You're a wiz at Cards Against Reality tho.

Every so often Ignihyde has a dorm-wide game night where everyone sits around in the common room with their headphones in, playing their own games. Together.

Though the board game players are in the next room. Oddly enough, they're the rowdiest of the bunch, and it sounds like they have the most fun by the way they're yelling and cheering.

You have seen some nerd fights start over a game of Ichi.

Diasomnia

People who have anxiety. One, Lilia is a menace. Two, your housewarden is the Malleus Draconia. Meep.

Whether it's Lilia or Malleus you run into, it feels like your heart will explode at any time.

Not to mention it's so dark in and outside of the building for no good reason. What's a fella gotta do to get some fucking sunlight in here? You're sick of worrying about what could be behind every corner.

You once wondered if Malleus needed a UV/heat lamp, but knew better than to ask. That doesn't mean you're not curious, though.

People who dislike loud sounds. I don't think I have to explain this one.

At first you thought that staying near Silver meant that you'd be staying away from Sebek, but that wasn't the case and you were at a loss as to what to do.

Then you tried going in the other direction whenever you saw Malleus, but all that did was send Sebek after you personally, asking very loudly why you did not want to be around Lord Malleus.

At one point, you got sick of his shit and muzzled him via magic. Then Malleus showed up and you were all oh shit. But then all he did was chuckle about how you were getting along so well. You took that to mean he wouldn't ever stop you from muzzling Sebek.

You were right.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #missy writes #gender neutral reader

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ Once More, With Feeling ♡

♡ Pairing: poly!hyunlix x gn!reader

♡ Genre: fluff/angst

♡ Summary: Unable to sleep after a major argument leads to a breakup, you return to a place that's close to your heart to find comfort and end up with something much more special.

♡ Word Count: 1.4k-ish

♡ Warnings: None.

♡ A/N: I was listening to dreamy low-fi indie music and got in my feelings so, like, come get in them with meeee.

It’s 3:23am and you can’t sleep. Two tablets of melatonin, three cups of chamomile tea, and an endless loop of soothing rain sounds have done nothing to change that. Your heart aches, it’s unbearable, and there’s not a single thing you can do about it. Rolling onto your back, you rip the covers off, only now realizing how much you’ve been sweating from the anxiety of cycling through last night’s events over and over in your head.

None of this feels real, losing Felix and Hyunjin, the ones you love the most. Maybe it was a bad idea from the start, the three of you being together. Maybe you weren’t as well equipped to keep them both happy as you thought. Every “maybe” hangs over you as if it’s written in glow-in-the-dark paint on the ceiling, taunting you from the void. Does any of it even matter now? Whatever it was that led to the eventual downfall of your relationship, the argument that ended it all, you can’t go back and fix it.

Even still, your heart longs for the possibility that you’ll be together again someday. You’ve always liked to think that when you truly love someone you’ll find each other no matter what, in this life or the next. It could be wishful thinking, the musings of a hopeless romantic. What does it hurt to wish, you figure, if that’s all you have? You take a long, deep breath in, allowing your breath to slowly flow back out as you squeeze your eyes shut. If I lay here long enough I’m bound to fall asleep. Right?

“Fuck it” you groan, popping up out of bed and throwing on your fuzzy bunny slippers. Felix thought it’d be cute if the three of you got matching pairs. You hate how right he was. You’ve been fighting tooth and nail with yourself all night not to drive down to the pier. For years it’s been the destination of endless late-night drives. It’s where you snuck away together when the rest of the world felt like it was too much. Your memories of being there, as much as they might sting, are the dearest things to you and you need to drown yourself in them now more than ever.

So, before you know it, you’re headed out the door pulling a hoodie over your head, car keys in hand, desperately seeking solace in nostalgia. It’s a long, lonely ride to the pier. The combination of empty streets and too-long traffic lights gives you the sense that the world has come to a screeching halt. Whether it has or not for everyone else, it has for you. The light flashes neon green, bringing you back down to earth just as you begin to drift away, and you’re making the right turn that takes you to your usual parking spot. 

Turning the car off, you take a moment to sit and inspect the other cars around you. There are a few on your side, a dozen more on the other, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone out here. Probably all people who live nearby. Confident that you’re alone, the wall you’ve put up comes crumbling down, tears falling down your cheek faster than you can wipe them away. Why am I doing this to myself? You shake your body in what would look to a passerby like a cute, albeit strange, dance of sorts in hopes that some of the emotions overwhelming you will fall away like leaves.

Get it together. Summoning all of the courage you have, you make your way to the stairs leading up to the pier. You almost slip on the gritty, sand-coated steps, but manage to make it to the top without breaking your neck. As you venture forward you already hear the waves crashing to shore. You feel the stars watching you, their gaze intense and overwhelming. Only it’s not their gaze at all. There’s someone at the end of the pier staring back at you, teary-eyed and stunned. That intensity, that overwhelming emotion, it’s his.

Felix? No, no, no. You turn on your heels, racing back to the car before you lose it completely. “Wait!” he yells, running after you. Felix hadn’t expected to see you here either. He’d typed a million text messages asking you to come but he’d deleted all of them, thinking you wouldn’t want to see him with everything being so fresh. He’s been wishing too, as much as you have, and he can’t let this moment slip away. Your car door’s halfway open when he reaches you, your fingers held tightly around the handle.

“Can we talk?” he asks, his hushed voice skimming your neck as he pushes the door closed. You don’t fight him. You don’t want to. The feeling of his chest against your back, the wind blowing his hair so that it tickles your cheek, makes you want to melt into him. Turning to face him, melting is the first thing you do, straight into his arms. He doesn’t hesitate to hold you tight to him, the tension soothed by the simple act of having you near him again. “I’m really sorry” you weep, “I should’ve seen that you weren’t happy.” 

Felix shushes you, his fingers stroking your neck, “Stop, don’t say that. I was happy. Me and Hyunjin…working with each other, we just get frustrated sometimes and it wasn’t supposed to come home but it did. I should be sorry” “What? No invite to the family reunion?” you hear Hyunjin ask and you’re positive that you’re hallucinating. But when you look up he’s standing there staring at the two of you with an expression you can’t quite make out. “I…no…we didn’t…” Felix stutters but Hyunjin’s already walking away, heading for the edge of the pier, ignoring you like you’re strangers.

You’re so much more than that and he knows it. Enough time hasn’t passed for him to erase what you shared from his mind. Even if he could, he wouldn't. Why else would he be here? Hyunjin shoves his hands in his pockets, stopping to make a half-turn toward you. “If I admit I’m an asshole will you come with me?” “I mean, we already know you’re an asshole so…no” Felix teases, getting a laugh out of both of you. “What if I say I’m sorry and that I’d really like to not be alone…to be with you two?” A long stretch of silence separates his question and your answer.

“Wait up,” you smile, taking Felix’s hand and dragging him along with you to catch up to Hyunjin. Meeting him at the center of the pier, you take his hand too and the three of you walk to the edge together. Any other time the minutes would fly by, all of the laughter and kisses making hours feel like minutes. But, in the presence of lingering pain, minutes feel like hours. “It’s not the same,” Hyunjin sighs, picking at his already chipped nail polish and flicking it into the sea. You want to deny it but you can’t. “No, it’s not.” Felix sits down, crossing his legs as he frustratingly tousles his hair, “So that’s it, then? We’re done?” 

You take a seat beside him on the ground, sick to your stomach at the thought, “I mean, is that what you want?” “Of course not. It’s never what I wanted. We are what I want.” You turn to Hyunjin and he’s already sitting down on the other side of you, his head resting on your shoulder. “Me too” he yawns, “But what about you? It doesn’t matter what we want if you don’t—” “I do. I always will.” Their faces brighten up, even in the midst of their exhaustion. Felix takes his jacket off, gathers it in a little bundle in your lap, and lays down. “Maybe it shouldn’t feel the same this time,” he muses, “We should make it better.”

You pet Felix’s hair, “I’d like that.” Hyunjin nuzzles up closer to you, seconds from falling asleep, “Better sounds nice.” Stroking Hyunjin’s cheek, you lean into him too, every sleep aid you tried kicking in at once. Suddenly the world feels like it’s moving again, bursting with life even in the dead of night.

You’ve always liked to think that when you truly love someone you’ll find each other no matter what, in this life or the next. How beautiful it is that it turned out to be this one after all.

#hyunlix x reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #lee felix x you #lee felix x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #lee felix fluff #lee felix angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst

[ofallthingsnasty]

tw: workplace harassment, mental illness, gn reader, make sure to read the last paragraph as well characters: Crocodile, Doflamingo word count: 1k

While I may be suffering from "I'm a total newbie and scared shitless of my boss" disease + an anxiety disorder, this would be so perfect for either Crocodile and Doflamingo.

Just think about it… You just started working for one of them - and both men certainly demand respect, can be quite scary when provoked, but you think you can weather any storm that might be coming your way. You’re grown, you’ve got bills to pay, they’ve been professional enough so far, it won’t be too bad, right? Oh, stupid, stupid you - because they can smell your little authority figure issues ten miles upwind.

Both notice that you're green, easily impressed and hurried by their presence, notice how sweaty your hands and furrowed your brow gets - and both definitely corner you; try to get you into a frenzied state, right into panic mode just because it’s fun to see how you slowly fly off the hinges. They both toy with you in their own ways - Crocodile is just always standing behind you, silently watching, only the smell of smoke and his cologne telling you he's right there, looming over your shoulder. He enjoys the way your hands shake with whatever it is you’re doing, how you cough and shift around while he does absolutely nothing. His mere presence makes you so antsy he doesn't even have to say something and his silence is easily interpreted as criticism and mistrust by your anxious little brain. It only gets worse when he never talks about his little staring/surveillance sessions, never explains why he randomly shows up at your desk or workstation, never asks you for a word afterwards - you always feel like you’re not good enough, that no matter how long you’ve been by his side, he needs to check up on you. He’s an imposing man, too - so much bulk and smoke, just the thought of him asking you for a vis-a-vis keeps you up at night. And every day, every week spent fretting over him and his perception of you (coupled with the fact that you really, really need this job) makes you more and more insecure, makes it hard to unwind after yet another long day, makes you overanalyze every single glance, every word and move of his. He slowly creeps into your after-hours, your conversations with friends, your weekends, even your vacations.  And he can tell. Crocodile notices the slight, subtle changes. The way you smooth over your clothes before talking to him, how you place an index and middle finger over sternum as if to shield yourself from him, the fucking cold sweat shining on your forehead whenever he does question a decision of yours with a gruff bark. The way you avoid his eyes, stumble over your own feet in a hurry, the way he can see that you sleep worse and worse - that’s how he knows he's got you hooked, fully and wholly. That all you're thinking about is him and work and pleasing him and being good at work and again, him and work and him and- Your job is the only thing in your life now, from the moment you wake up to the time you lay your head down to sleep, everything is consumed by thoughts of him and his opinions about you and your abilities, always aiming to please and so, so nervous to fail. It’s perfect.

Doflamingo is way more vocal about it. He'll throw your work right back into your face, all sneers and acid tongue. It’s just not enough, never enough, reflects badly on him, on his company - whatever it is you do, it hails nothing but criticism and mockery and late nights to fix your stupid mistakes. He doesn’t even give you moments of rest, he just constantly picks on you until you’re seriously considering just resigning for your own mental health. He’s methodically destroying your self-esteem, makes you doubt your own abilities - you know you shouldn’t let him creep into your head as much as he does, but when all you hear is that you’re so fucking bad at your job, how much you suck - it sticks. You’re so stressed because of him you almost have a panic attack over putting your two weeks in and despite your suffering, you keep procrastinating, keep telling yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, when you have had a full night’s sleep. Problem is - you never do. He can tell by the way you’re idling, fiddling with the straps of your bag whenever he comes in for the day that you’re trying to leave - but that you're simply too scared of his reaction to pull the trigger. And that right there; that fear, that pedestal you put him on is the perfect breeding ground for all sorts of unethical things he can push you to do for him. He starts out small; things like getting him coffee in the mornings when you never did that before, a too-warm, lingering hand on your shoulder, a comment about your outfit - every little thing is calculated, tailored to slowly destroy your boundaries while you fear him more and more, give him way more authority over your life than you should. He knows it’s psychological, that someone else might be able to flip him off and leave without ever thinking twice about him. But you… You have accepted him as the one part of your life everything hinges on - you give him all that power in your sick little brain. Oh, he’ll use it well. The fun has only just started, rest assured. 

And while Crocodile gets to click his tongue, scoff and tell you that he'll take over from now on because clearly - you're just not capable and you obviously need him (not only at work but also in your whole life, silly), Doflamingo taunts you and tells you to make yourself useful, then, if you can't even do your job right. Maybe sucking his dick is your true calling - come on, let's see if you can do at least one thing right. One man wants to take your life over completely, sees you as the malleable (perfect) mess that you are, with all the potential that comes with it - and the other just wants to fuck you up for the next decade of your life, wants to be reason you wake up in the middle of night because his vicious smile still bounces around in that head of yours

#crocodile x reader #doflamingo x reader #one piece x reader #ah... if only crocodile decided to fuck me up and make me worse.. only for him to swoop in and use it as an excuse to wife me up... hmmmm.. #/crocodile #/doflamingo #/one pice

[sashi-ya]

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟑 DAY 7: STEPCEST Urahara Kisuke 𝘹 𝘍! 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Requested by: Anon ➡ For your event fem reader, stepcest with Urahara Kisuke tw: mdni. STEPcest, there are no blood ties. please, if you don't like, don't read. thigh fucking. vag unprotected sex. usage of sister and brother during the act. 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

It’s bad. you can’t keep dreaming of him. With him. Of the things you want him to do to you.

“He is my brother” you repeat, knowing very well that he really isn’t. But to the rest of the world, he is like it. To you, even. And every night, since he moved back home, you’ve been dealing with your unacceptable needs…

Kisuke needed to come back home, he had had a serious fight with Yoruichi, and she had enough of him. In fact, you took her side, but you couldn’t let him sleep on a hotel. He can sometimes be… annoying, and a bad boyfriend. But he is not a bad person; Kisuke loses track of time when working at the lab and puts almost everything into one investigation…

Your throat feels dry. Your body sweated. It’s a hot night, summer should have left the town, but it seems to be reluctant to do so. With a silky white sleep gown, you go downstairs for a cup of water. However, you knew too well the thirst wouldn’t be satisfied this way.

Everything seems silent, Kisuke should be sleeping in the couch -or that’s what it seems to you –. But it turned it was just the sheets he never tents.

You hurry up, chugging the glass of cold water to cool your heat quickly. Yet, the moon outside catches your attention and you begin to day dream of those times where both of you were younger and met for the first time…

His father and your mother had married, and both being almost adults didn’t find it too terrible. As college represented a higher worry in your lives you simply accepted the new assembled family, discovering a high connection in between you and him. Kisuke soon left home for uni and some years after he started working at a laboratory he is now closer to preside.

And all throughout those years, and from the very first time you saw his face, you accepted loving him was off limits, even if your heart ached for him…

You sighed, with blurred eyes fixed on the argentum shine of the moon outside the window. But a pair of hands suddenly surrounded your waist from behind.

“Wha-?” you asked, scared. “Daydreaming? You look sad, (Name)-san… what happened?” Kisuke asks, resting his chin on your shoulder. His messy blonde hair grazing your cheek and neck, his sweet perfume reaching you, the warmth of his embrace feeling so holy and so terrible at the same time.

You take some seconds to answer. Growing up, Kisuke has always been very physically close to you and your family members. You couldn’t say it was just because he enjoyed touching you. You couldn’t simply push him away.

“I am ok, I was just remembering old times. That’s it. You should go back to sleep… or go to sleep for once. I know you are investigating something important, but your health should matter a little bit more, Kisuke” you scold him, as you’ve always done.

“Aaaa~ah… my older sister will always do this, huh? Not even the years that have passed changed you, huh?” he jokes, hugging you so tight, pulling you so close to his body that your breathing cuts short.

Your eyes open wide, when you can clearly feel the whole entirety of his flesh against yours. From his chest on your back, to his hipbones on the small of your back.

“Wh- stop it, for real. Go to sleep. I am tired too…” you stutter; the trembling in your voice can’t be hide, the anxiety rising inside you either.

“You are clearly sad, let’s go” he chimes, turning you around and lifting you up in his arms. He is quite tall and despite not having a huge frame, he is very strong. And no matter how much you could kick and hit his back with your fists, he isn’t letting you go. Instead, Kisuke laughs happily.

When he gets to your room, he throws you on the bed. Your heart pumps faster, and you can only repeat for yourself  “he is playing, he is your brother”.

“Make some space, I won’t go away until either you tell me what is going on or you fall asleep” he says, snuggling right by your side.

You are still unable to speak and can barely blink. You fix your gaze on the ceiling of your room; a soft blueish light kisses the walls and your skins. Kisuke hugs you, and your senses intensify. The sound of your breathing, the sound of his reverberates in your mind. Your heart pumps more and more blood and all of it seems to be going to one place only; your core.

He hugs you closer, turning you to side so that your nose ends up being inches from his chest. Kisuke is someone who finds trouble with keeping basic hygiene, but tonight his skin smells deliciously tempting.

You feel your head spinning, like your soul is about to leave your body. This is not ok. This is wrong. This is bad. He is your brother… he is not.

“Kisuke… can you go sleep in the couch?” you ask, painfully. The tone in your voice holds the aching need of a beast inside you. Your hands are sweaty, you are drowning in guilt but also in lust… if you move a single muscle more, it will be to kiss him.

“Why- I even bathe. Why I can’t sleep with my older sister??” he asks, and it seems to you that he knows exactly what he is doing. Urahara Kisuke is a genius, he probably knows… in fact, he always has.

“STOP CALLING ME OLDER SISTER. I AM NOT YOUR SISTER!” You snap, pushing him away and turning around. It’s either mistreating him or ruining your family. But when did Kisuke ever cared about morals?

He comes closer, this time spooning you. His hands so shamefully passing around your waist and landing down your belly button. The warmth of his breathe reaches your nape, while his nose buries in between your hair.

“You are my sister… and I don’t care…” the scientist whispers, torturing you with his lips lingering over your skin.

It all turns bumpy, and your muscles stiffen. You need him, you want him. Your body succumbs to the most depraved lust ever existing. Your back arches just enough for your buttocks to graze his now growing hardness.

“Kisuke… don’t do this” you beg, as his hands slide down your waist towards your hips. He pulls you against his crotch, this time with no absolute delicacy, to make sure you feel he is as horny as you are.

His hardness feels sinfully exquisite, and you can’t stop yourself from moving your ass from side to side; you want him desperate, so fucking needy. You want him to be even able to feel the wetness pulling in between your legs and perhaps even dampening your inner thighs.

And oh, he notices immediately after his pants are down. Enough of the smooth player, he can’t wait to taste you no more.

Your thighs receive his warm sex right in between them, closer to your now dripping panties but not enough to touch your labia. You squeeze your legs to trap him, as his hands now free your breasts from above your night gown. Kisuke’s fingers feel wonderfully pinching your nipples.

“Should I continue, my sweet sister ~?” he asks, rejoicing in the word sister because it is as sick and depraved, and it is also turning you on more than what you could ever expect.

Oh, the guilt, what a big kink.

“Fuck me… brother” “With great pleasure”

Kisuke immediately turns you around, topping you with no shame. His hand landing on your cheek, his lips approaching yours. Crossing any line ever traced, two mouths crashing in total concupiscence; two tongues dancing in pure sin.

Your step brother pulls your panties down, as both kiss with total passion. His fingers quickly reach for your wet flower, it even surprises that you are dripping so much.

“You are so incredible wet, how needy are you?” he asks, in between lip bites. “I need you inside of me, now. Now, please” you moan, leaving any reason behind, allowing your desires to take full control of your consciousness.

Kisuke doesn’t really need to finger you nor prepare your entrance, your walls are desperately hungry to feel stretch by him. He smirks, the strings of his precum that were forming on his tip and pooling on your belly button are the sweet show of how much he needs you too.

The blonde guides his hardness to your entrance, he doesn’t even need to move further as it slides so perfectly inside. He stays, for some seconds, right by your entrance making you curl your back and turn your eyes white from pleasure. He knows, he perfectly understands how your body works and how to make you pull from the bedsheets.

And right before he goes deep, with a ram than feels like breaking you in half, your eyes fix into each other’s.

His hips begin to move, but your eyes couldn’t. There was a feeling of deep connection and also intense regret in them. But most importantly, and despite all guilt, both felt like there wasn’t a safest place than each other’s embrace.

Kisuke goes deep as much as you buck up your hips, joining your cores almost inevitably willing to melt into one. He lets himself fall on top of you, while you hug his waist to keep him trapped inside of you. Kissing desperately, breathing moaning, drinking the other’s grunts and little “nhngs” and “fucks”.

Climax coming. Climax taking over. His flesh slapping yours, both sweating but never letting go. Your nails leaving the trace of their path engraved in his pale back.

Kisuke believes is not enough deepness and pulls you up to finally sit on his lap still penetrating you. Your legs around his waist, his nesting you around. His hands pressing on the small of your back and yours on his nape.

Explosively finishing in heaven, two sinful souls that have just condemned themselves to the infinite void of hell…  

“I wanted you since the day I met you” ; “I wanted you too… but this is wrong…” “Wrong would be not doing it, sister ~”

taglist: @miabiaria @carmenthedreamer @stygianoir @electronicwitchcollection @aizenwifey @deputy-videogamer @efrodd17 @mizugami @uzxotic @cyberdazetragedy @bookandyarndragon 💖

#urahara kisuke x reader #urahara x reader #bleach x you #bleach x reader #urahara smut #urahara kisuke smut #bleach smut #bleach x y/n #bleach #bleach fanfic #urahara x you #kisuke x you #kisuke x reader #kintober #hentober #kinktober 2023 #kinktober 23

[lexosaurus]

Twelve Hours: Chapter 1

Part 1 of 5 of my fic for Ecto Implosion, the DP reverse mini-bang (artists go first, writers go second).

I was SUPER lucky to get @tytach's incredible art to write my fic off of. Their art lines up with Chapter 5 of this fic, and I'm so excited to get there so everyone can see it because ahhhhhh it's so so soooo good!

read on: [ao3]

[see all chapters]

Characters: Danny Fenton, Harriet Chin, GIW (mentioned a lot) Tags: Identity Reveal, Flashbacks, Runaway Danny Fenton, Angst WC: 1788 Summary: When the GIW revealed Danny to the world, the only thing he could do was run. Run and run and run until he escaped to Chicago, trying desperately to disappear. Too bad it didn't work.

****

Warm light washed over the room, draping his figure in its yellows and oranges. From the monitors, Danny could see how the olive undertones in his skin seemed to be at home in the welcoming backlight. Still, it didn’t stop the sweat from trickling down his neck as the halo of lights slow-roasted him from every angle. 

It was to humanize him, reporter Harriet Chin had explained from her seat, watching as a sound engineer fastened the lapel microphone to his shirt. They wanted to make him feel like anyone’s next-door neighbor. Not a scary ghost, just a victim of an unfortunate legal system.

An unfortunate legal system, Danny had internally repeated, fighting the urge to rub the raised lines under his button-up shirt. That was one way to put it. 

But right now, he just felt hot, and he didn’t much like heat. He could feel his body reacting in kind, burning deep from the fried nerves fighting to repair themselves inside him. Just as they had been doing for the past…

…how long?

“Here,” Harriet Chin said, her words ripping through his discomfort. She turned the tablet around to face him.

Too keenly aware of the cameras surrounding him and the lapel mic recording his every breath, he fitted as neutral of an expression on his face as he could as he looked down at the screen. 

A face he knew too well stared back at him. It was a man, his senior, with a square jaw and high cheekbones. His strong nose sloped downward at the point, and his forehead was smooth, blending impeccably into his bald scalp. In one ear was a hooked earpiece with a curly wire jutting out from behind.

Old school, of course. Danny remembered when the wire went out of fashion for the new Bluetooth earpieces.

Very little changed in there, after all.

Harriet hit play, and the man began speaking. “Our goal was to uncover who the kid had been. If we could understand that, then we would know his human past, what makes him tick, and most importantly, why he became the ghost he is today.”

The camera cut to an older woman with pale skin and poofy gold hair that curled up at the end. Deep lines creased her face, and pale pink lipstick brushed her lips, adding an almost hint of youth to her wise demeanor. 

“And what did you find? In that conquest?” the woman asked.

The camera cut back to the square-jawed man. He sat there in a moment of what was supposed to be read as contemplative silence, though Danny knew just how rehearsed it was in reality. Then after his onerous pause, he sighed, shook his head, and said, “What we found was something so disturbing, it made us question our own reality.”

Danny felt his jaw set. He could have mouthed along to the following words; they were so deeply carved into the trunk of his memories. But he suppressed the urge, just as he suppressed the way his pulse quickened and the prickling heat on his skin intensified.

But he remembered. By god, he remembered. He didn’t even need to close his eyes to be brought back to that moment, back to that day.

Harriet paused the video, but Danny didn’t take his eyes off the screen. Off the man—no, off Operative O. 

****

12:00:00

Danny tugged on his hood, hoping it covered the bulk of his hair. Under the table, his leg bounced, his anxiety refusing to let his body obey his pleas to act natural, just act natural.

He didn’t know where he was, not exactly. He hadn’t been paying attention to the road signs as he flew. More than likely, he wouldn’t have been able to read them anyway—not with the world so blurry around him.

All he knew was that he was far away from Amity Park. And hopefully, he was deep enough into the rural country to become completely unrecognizable.

But of course, no one would recognize him here. The only houses around were so run down that Danny would be shocked if any of their residents owned cable. Sure, the diner had a few small televisions on, but the few scraggly patrons around either had their noses shoved into their newspapers, or their eyes were keyed onto the fuzzy television playing today’s football game. No one cared about him, the tired, skinny-looking kid.

“You decided yet?” a voice above him said, nearly sending him flying from his booth.

Danny balled his clammy fingers into a fist and tried to awkwardly smooth out the menu paper he’d crinkled. 

Act natural, act natural.

He risked a glance up to see a pale, stocky woman with bright red curls tied loosely into a bun. The blue apron tied around her waist sported ketchup stains that Danny was sure were at least a week old.

But he could hardly judge, with how he must have looked to all of them.

On the other television mounted on the wall behind her, the silent commercial break ended to reveal the top of a news segment. 

His mouth dried. Should he make a break for it? Surely, they would run the Anti-Ecto laws segment at the top, wouldn’t they? But if they got a national news station here, wouldn’t that mean the employees and regulars of this diner would be able to recognize him?

He must have frozen for too long because the woman's disinterested face was beginning to morph in a way that Danny didn’t like.

He blurted out, “Uh, are you still serving breakfast?” 

“We serve breakfast all day, hun,” she said.

He knew that. It was at the top of the menu. Great, now she probably thought he was strange and illiterate.

Wonderful.

The familiarity of his internal sarcastic quips managed to shave off just enough stress for Danny to give what he hoped wasn’t a grimace as he said, “I’ll have the blueberry pancakes, thanks.”

She nodded at him, then turned back into the kitchen. Danny tracked her eyes, but she hadn’t looked up at the news.

Not that his face was on it. Yet. 

Maybe he should leave. Not even risk it. Focus on finding somewhere to sleep tonight. 

But no, he was safe. No one was looking at the news. The goddamn football game was on. Nobody cared about some stupid Anti-Ecto laws or the stupid Guys in White.

“Sacked!” one of the men huddled on the stool in front of the football television shouted. 

Another, bigger man joined in the groans with, “He shoulda run!” 

“It’s the offense. They’re all shit,” the first man said. Danny wondered if his wiry, overgrown mustache itched or if he’d simply gotten used to it. “Not a single goddamn person open! Shit, I’m tellin’ ya!”

“S’why he shoulda just run instead of lookin’ for an open guy,” the bigger man said. 

They could have been speaking ancient Ghost Speak for all Danny knew, but so long as their attention was focused on that television and not the other, muted one, then Danny would be okay.

The woman rounded the counter again, this time holding a tray with a plastic cup full of water and a coffee. She set both down in front of Danny, who reached for the coffee with greedy hands. It burned at his touch, but he was too thankful to care.

“Figured you might want it,” the woman said. “With you traveling and all.”

Danny must have flinched because she immediately amended, “It’s just that I don’t recognize your face, is all. I don’t mean to pry into personal business.”

“Oh—I—” Danny swallowed. What was his rehearsed cover, again? “I’m going to see my cousin.”

She peered down at him, her eyes narrowing. “Your cousin’s out here?” 

Behind her, the TV playing the news began their headline report, and Danny’s stomach plummeted to the floor.

Act natural. 

His adrenaline was quickly taking over, and he had almost forgotten the question before he blurted out, “Chicago.”

However, her suspicion didn’t melt off her face like Danny envisioned it would. “Hm, okay.”

“I just got hungry,” Danny said. 

The TV was now showing his face. Both of his faces. 

Maybe she noticed how all the blood seemed to drain from his cheeks, or the way he kept glancing behind her, because she started to tilt her head back when Danny blurted out, “And, you know, diners in the middle of nowhere always have the best food.”

The screen cut, replacing his faces with the faces of Operative O and a reporter. Her lips were moving, but the black captions appeared a few seconds later. “What was your goal with all of this?”

“Are you trying to butter me up?” the waitress asked.

Danny ripped his eyes from the screen. For a second, he forgot again what they were talking about. Then he remembered he was trying to stall until the segment ended, and nerves hit him like a tropical storm all over again. 

“Only for the free coffee,” he answered.

“Free coffee, huh? Well, I think I can bargain for that just this one time. It’s not often we get visitors, you know.” 

Her voice may have been sugar, but Danny could still see how her eyes swept over him, pausing over every scruff in his hoodie. 

Ancients, he must have looked like a right mess.

He glanced back at the screen to see Operative O saying, “What we found was something so disturbing, it made us question our own reality.”

What they found…about him? What a bunch of psychopaths.

Psychopaths that can end you, he reminded himself. 

But he didn’t need that kind of optimism right now, so he tried to focus back on the waitress, but what were they talking about again? Something about…coffee?

“We discovered a ghost who had taken the body of a dead child and was using him like a doll. And no one knew. Not family, not friends. No one.”

Danny’s eyes bore craters in the TV. Though no sound was playing, Operative O’s tone was powerful, and nothing if not crystal clear.

And the message was cruel.

The screen cut back to Danny. Both of Danny, with Operative O’s lingering captions stamped below. And the real Danny, the one who was sitting in the booth, stood.

What else was there to do, anyway? After Operative O had told the whole world that Phantom was an evil ghost using a dead kid like a meat puppet for its own sick satisfaction?

“I just realized I forgot my wallet,” Danny muttered uselessly. He slipped past the waitress, and she let him go.

After all, she’d turned around. She’d seen the screen.

****

next

#danny phantom #ectoimplosion2023 #phicc #dp fanfic #twelve hours #guys in white #violence cw #identity reveal

[grrw--boy]

•Sweat dreams•

Morpheus takes care of his sleepless lover♡ (morpheus x gn!reader)

Prompt: so many things got pilled up so you're unable to sleep properly for the last days, and morpheus decides it has been enough.

Tw: anxiety, trauma(?, fluff, comfort.

Its has been a hell of a month, maybe even a hell of years.

You'd haved never had a peacefull life, but lately life seems harder than ever, days feel longer and even more tiring, that not even the soft carress of my lover seems to erase the frown on my face.

Morpheus, dream, my love, he has always helped me feel normal, calm, wanted. So i cant help but feel guilty of being so distant from him lately, knowing full well he always tries to help me in any way he can.

But i cant really help it, can't i?

Work has been anything but gentle, with the amount of late doing work i have, im almost restless, not really taking breaks ethier.

Morpheus was anxious, scared even, he knew your work was tiring but this looks extreme.

Its been days since he saw you in your dreams before youd woken up a few hours later, and even in your own dreams you looked exhausted with dark eyebags and a marked scowl on your pretty face

So he had enough

Everyone has bad days so he though youll be okay in a few days, but it has been weeks, so he decided to visit you when he finally had time to. As this not only worried your fisical state but your mental state too.

He remebers years ago when youll end breaking down in his arms, telling him how you couldnt go on like this in tears.

He'd never wish to see you so sadly lonely again, it would personaly pain him too much.

So after he had remotily finished his work he was running to see you.

You where comsuded by another work fit at 3 am when you heard a knock to your aparment door, in confusion of who might be visiting, you shouted a wait to the door while stoping your work and rushing to the door*

"Who is it?" You move your hair to look more presentable trough your stress.

"Its me dear,-" at hearing his voice after so much time you open the door without second thougth, not letting him finish his phrase, seeing your certain tall, blue eyed lover.

"-morpheus." He chuckles at your eageress to see him, but quickly noticed your tired look, unsurpsingly.

"My dea-" "morpheus!, what are you doing here?, so late... is everything alright?" Your voice quickly changes to worry while you question the reason of his visit.

"No, no, dear, everything its okay i just..." he sighes before saying "missed you, we havent seen eachother in a few weeks and i have noticed you havent being coming to the dreaming a lot ethier" he finishes while coming inside as you opened the door more for him to come in.

"Yes i- i have been busy lately, im sorry love, i think i didnt realise we havent seen eachothee in that much..."

"Theres nothing to be sorry about my dear, i know you're stressed, i want to help you" he notices the amount of work in your desk "and its quite late too, you need rest, and love. come on to bed now" he holds your arm to the bedroom.

"B-but morpheus! Theres to much to fini-" "no, to bed now, tomorrow youll finish your chores, when you're well rested"

You sigh giving up, as you cant convice the dream lord of anything especially about your care, and because the offer didnt sound so bad.

Morpheus gides you into bed before turning of the lights in the office, going to laid with you and give you your well needed rest. He goes to hold you as you get more comfortable next to him, already feeling sleep taking over you while feeling dream kissing your forehead and rubbing your head as you cuddle with him.

Before you knew it you were magicly falling asleep in your lovers embrace, feeling some beat of calmness in a long time, before hearing some soft whispers of your lover, knowing youll get some enticing dreams tonight

"Sleep well my love, ill see you in a moment".

#x male reader #morpheus x male reader #morpheus x reader #morpheus sandman #the sandman #dream of the endless #dream x male reader #dream x reader #x male reader fluff #this was longer than expected #morpheus x reader comfort #sandman x male reader #gay #fem aligned dni

[andvys]

Fourth of July

Warnings: angst, mentions of depression and anxiety, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts?, mention of alcohol and drug use, fluff at the end 

Pairing: Eddie Munson x female hopper!reader (reader is adopted) 

*not proofread!

-

Loss. 

You have experienced so much loss in your life. So much that it made you feel nothing and yet everything at once. Everything bad. 

You wake up crying, every night. Drenched in sweat, gasping for air as you’re clutching your chest. It takes a few minutes for you to calm down but it really feels like hours. Hours of replaying your nightmares even though you’re trying to forget them, so desperately.

You see the faces of the people you lost, the people that died or left. Every night, you hear their screams as they are getting torn apart by whatever it is down there and you know your mind is playing tricks on you, considering that half of those people you see in your dreams are still alive. They are still here and so are you even though you catch yourself thinking you wish you weren't. 

You wish you weren't here.

All you felt was pain, this agonizing kind of pain that made every little thing so unbearable but you told yourself to hold on, that there was more than just this pain. 

The pain that never seemed to stop. 

-

Blinking, you stare at the heavy rain hitting the windows. Single droplets streaming down the glass, just the way your tears stream down your face whenever you wake up crying. 

You drown out the teacher’s voice or the ringing of the bell. Not even noticing that everyone is packing up and leaving the classroom. 

You don’t even know why you’re here, at school. 

Your bad grades and failed classes have forced you to stay behind, repeating your senior year; if someone had told you this one year ago, you would have laughed in their face and called them crazy. Your grades were good and you have never, ever failed a class in your life. 

That is until you lost your dad. 

Everything just changed after he was gone. 

It wasn't the same anymore. 

You shut everyone out, pushed your friends away. Not because you wanted them out of your life but because you weren't ready for them to see you this way and you weren't ready to lose someone else. 

You felt as though you were a curse. Everyone who got too close to you, ended up getting hurt or worse. They died. 

Your dad called himself a curse once and maybe it wasn't actually him. Maybe it was you. 

The rain is falling, freely. 

Just like it did that night you watched Joyce walk out of the mall without him, without your dad.

“(y/n)?” 

Tearing your eyes away from the window, you look up to find Nancy standing in front of you, looking at you in concern. 

Furrowing your brows, you look around the now empty classroom. You were so deep in thought, you didn't even hear the bell ringing. You don't notice anything anymore. 

Looking back at your friend, you mumble a quiet ‘hey’ as you get up. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind you ear, you grab your history book. 

“Are you okay?” 

No.

“Yeah, just kinda tired.” you lie as you force a smile on your face. 

Nancy eyes your expression, noticing the dark circles under your eyes, the dull look in your eyes and the tired expression on your face. You are suffering. She knows you’re lying about your feelings, that you refuse to open up and she worries about you, she worries about her best friend. 

“Nightmares?” she asks carefully as you both walk out of the classroom. 

“Uh- n-no, just, staying up late to study. I need to fix my grades and I’m behind on some stuff.” you lie, again. That’s all you seem to be doing lately. 

Lying about your feelings, lying about your wellbeing, lying about your nightmares.

Lies.

It’s all just lies now. 

Hell, you’re even lying to yourself. Telling yourself that you’re fine. That you will be okay. Eventually. 

Nancy nods, pretending to believe your lies. She isn't stupid, she knows you and she knows that you’re an awful liar when it comes to your feelings. You always get that look in your eyes, that guilty one before you look away to avoid eye contact. 

“Hey, would you like to have a sleepover tonight? Just like old times?” Nancy asks, opening the door to the cafeteria, she glances back at you to find you with a skeptic expression on your face, one that gives your answer away already and while she respected your decisions and the distance you needed after what happened last year, she started to feel frustrated with you. Not because she was angry at you but because she was worried about you. Worried about her best friend “we could watch a movie, paint our finger nails and listen to whatever music you want.” she adds. 

Your eyes soften at her suggestion, a sad smile tugging at your lips as you think about all the sleepovers you used to have together. How careless and happy you were when things were.. so much simpler. 

You miss it. 

You would have loved to have a sleepover but the thought of getting a nightmare during one and giving away the state you’re in kept you from saying ‘yes’ so you came up with a lie. As always. 

Guilt creeps up on you as you see the sad look in her eyes. 

“B-But we can go to the movies if you want.” you offer as you sit down at one of the less crowded tables in the cafeteria. 

Her eyes light up at your words, a smile appearing on her face “yes! that would be perfect.” 

You smile at your friend as she starts suggesting all the movies you could watch. 

Feelings eyes on you, you glance around the bustling room curiously until your eyes lock with his.

Eddie Munson. 

His dark eyes locked on you, he’s staring. As if he is staring into your soul, trying to figure you out. 

Blinking, you’re unable to look away from him, his eyes, his glance, he, he pulls you in. 

You miss him. 

The two of you got assigned to a project a few months before your life changed so drastically. 

He was funny and sweet. He made you laugh more than anyone else did and he made you happy. He was amazing and the short time you spent with him as your friend, was the best. 

But you were unaware of his feelings for you. 

Eddie who spent most of his high school years longing for you, was hopelessly in love with you. 

The moment he laid his eyes on you all these years back, he knew. He knew you were the one.

He felt like the luckiest man alive when you were assigned as partners and he felt even more lucky when you continued hanging out with him even after you were done with the project.

Nights spent with music and late night drives turned into a routine over the summer and it was perfect, so perfect. 

Until the 4th of July happened. 

And everything changed. 

You changed. 

And you distanced yourself from him, from everyone. 

And you never let him back in. 

You stare at each other, for what feels like forever, neither of you seem to be able to look away from one another. God, you miss him so much. 

The sad gaze his eyes hold is enough for your broken heart to crack even further, tears prickle in the corners of your eyes causing you to tear your eyes away from him, looking down at your hands as you try to focus on Nancy’s voice again but you can still feel his eyes on you. 

-

The rain is pouring down on you, mixing in with your tears. Your clothes are drenched, your hair falling in front of your face as you’re walking through the empty streets of Hawkins. 

Your heart is racing and you’re barely able to catch your breath, feeling as though you ran all the way here even though you only walked.

This wasn't supposed to happen. 

After your night at the movies with Nancy, the two of you shared a few drinks- maybe a few too many but you felt good, better than you did in a while and you finally managed to enjoy life, again. 

Until you came back home. 

The moment you stepped into the empty and cold house and you walked past your dads room- what used to be his room, your heart just dropped. You felt sick to your stomach. 

If he was still here, he would have lectured you about coming home so late, especially after all the things that happened in this town.

But he wasn't here anymore.

And this wasn't your home anymore. It didn't feel like it now that he was gone.

You’re tired, so so tired of feeling this way. 

You left the house, not even caring about the raging storm. You just started walking, letting your feet take you wherever.

You didn’t care about the cold rain on your skin. If anything, it felt nice, at least it felt better than waking up drenched in sweat because of nightmares. 

-

Strumming his guitar, Eddie is staring at his wall blankly. His thoughts occupied by you, the way they always are. 

It’s been almost a year since you came into his life and left just as quickly. He couldn't blame you though. You lost your dad and you needed some time alone, he respected that but seeing you around school and not being able to just go up to you and pull you into his arms the way he always wants to, drives him insane. 

He cares about you in a way he never cared for anyone. 

Loud knocking echoes through his trailer. Furrowing his brows, Eddie looks at the clock on his table 2:31 AM. Who comes knocking at 2 AM in the morning? 

Putting his guitar down, he gets up, sighing as he walks through his trailer. 

He sighs in annoyance as the knocking continues. 

“I’m coming!” 

Ready to yell at whoever decided to knock on his door at this hour, Eddie pulls open his door, about to open his mouth to tell the person on the other side to fuck off but when his eyes lock with yours, his words get caught in his throat. 

Standing there, you are shaking from the cold rain, your clothes are drenched, your bottom lip is trembling and he can’t tell whether it’s tears running down your face or if it’s the rain. 

“H-Hi..”

He mumbles your name, staring at you worriedly. Grabbing your arm he pulls you into his warm trailer.

“(Y/n), w-what are you doing here? Did something happen? Are you okay?” he rambles as he puts his hand on your shoulders, eying you in concern. 

Your glassy eyes give away that you have been crying all the way here, the side alone is enough to make his heart ache. 

“I’m gonna grab you a towel or blanket.” he mumbles but before he can make a move, you grab his hand, mumbling a quiet ‘no’. 

Looking down at your hand, he notices how badly you are shaking. Worry creeps up on him as he eyes you slowly. Cupping your hand with his other one, he steps closer to you. 

“I-I don’t- I’m okay.” you stutter as you grip his hand tightly, looking around the room nervously “I just- c-can you give me something?” 

Eddie furrows his brows at your words “w-what?” 

He feels stupid for asking, by the look in your eyes, he already knows what you want from him. 

You sigh, another tear escaping your eye “drugs, pills anything, please.” you whisper, looking away in shame. This wasn't like you. You didn't even recognize your own voice as you uttered those words but you want to escape reality even if it’s just for a short while. 

You want to fall asleep without having to worry about yet another nightmare. 

Eddie’s face twisted, sadness clouding his features as he looks at you, taking in your state, he notices that you’re not even shaking from the rain, your lip isn't trembling from the cold. You’re anxious, panicked even. You look scared and tired at the same time and now that you’re standing right in front of him, he can see you. 

He can see how you are still suffering. 

Your eyes look dull despite the tears in them. You look tired, as if you haven't slept in weeks and you looked as though you were near a goddamn panic attack. 

“I- drinks don’t help a-and I can’t take sleeping pills, they don't help and if I take too many, I-I won't-” you hesitated as your eyes met his, even through your blurred vision, you can still see the worry and confusion in his eyes. 

“You won’t wake up.” he nods, finishing your sentence. He grows even more concerned as you stare at him with this broken look in your eyes. 

Something tells him that you wouldn't even care if you didn't end up waking up. 

But he cares, he cares so much, it would break him if something happened to you. 

“So please, give me something, Eddie, I don’t care what it is, j-just please, I need it.” you beg as tears roll down your cheek.

A wave of sadness came over him. He has never seen you like this, so broken, so fragile and so desperate for something that you would have never touched one year ago. 

You rarely ever had any alcohol, let alone touched any of his weed but now you were asking for drugs? 

Eddie shakes his head, his brows pulled together. He will give you anything you want. Anything but this. 

“No.” 

A sigh leaves your lips. The thought of having to go home and crying yourself to sleep only to wake up sobbing because of your taunting nightmares made you feel so defeated. 

“Please Eddie, please.” you cry, not even caring about how miserable you looked. Your tears are falling freely as you look into his large sad eyes. Letting go of his hand, you put your hand into the pockets of your jeans, not even noticing how badly your hands are shaking. 

“Here.” grabbing the dollar bills, you hold them against his chest “you can have anything you want.” you cry, your voice so heavy with emotions.

Eddie sighs deeply, closing his eyes for a moment, he takes a deep breath, taking your hand in his, he opens his eyes as he pushes the money towards you again “no.” he repeats. 

He won't lose you to this. Not you. 

“You can have anything you want from me, sweetheart but not this.” 

The way you so desperately asked him for this, basically throwing your money at him whilst looking at him with those teary eyes of yours, gave away the broken state you are in. Making him even more worried about you. 

You huff as you close your eyes. A pained expression on your face as you take a step back. Pulling your hand out of his, you nod softly. You feel defeated.

“Okay.” you whisper, trying to blink away your tears “I'm sorry.” you mumble, you look into his eyes one more time before you turn around to leave but before you can take a step forward, he grabs your hand, whispering your name softly.

“Talk to me, sweetheart.” he whispers. 

You stand with your back to him, breathing heavily. You want to, you just want to let everything out but you can't. You can’t tell him what actually happened. 

He can tell that you’re about to refuse, telling him that there's nothing to talk about but he won't let you go, not again. 

Stepping closer to you, he lets go of your hand, instead he brushes your wet hair out of your face, wiping your tears away, his touch is so soft, so warm and comforting. 

Cupping your cheeks, he tilts your head up so you look him in the eyes. 

“I’m here okay? You can talk to me o-or if that’s not what you want then we can just hang out, we can listen to some music or just drive around like we did last year?” he suggests as he looks at you with hopeful eyes “we can do whatever you want, whatever helps you feel better but taking that shit won't help darling, it won't numb the pain it'll just make everything worse for you and I don’t what for you.” 

Furrowing your brows, you stare at him for the longest time, your eyes boring into his. He rubs your cheek with his thumb as he waits for you to say something. 

“I-I don’t want to numb the pain, I just- I just want to sleep-” you trail off. Sighing as you notice the confused expression on his face “I want to sleep and not dream about anything.” 

Realization dawns on his face. 

Nightmares.

“Every goddamn night, I-I get these horrible dreams and I can’t do it anymore, Eddie. I feel like I’m going insane.” your voice cracks, closing your eyes you look down as you feel yourself beginning to cry again. 

“Oh y/n.” Eddie breaths, pulling you into his arms, he hugs you close to his chest, rubbing your back with his left hand, his right hand goes to cup the back of your head as he kisses the top of your head “it’s okay, I got you sweetheart.” he whispers as he listens to your cries. 

Wrapping your arms around him, you cling to him, holding him tightly as you cry into his chest. 

“I got you.” he whispers, over and over again.

Your clothes are still wet, cold on your body as they stick to your skin uncomfortably but right in this moment you feel warm, safe and secure. 

You feel comfortable in his arms. 

“Let me help you.” he whispers as calm down after a while.

“H-How?” 

“Stay with me tonight, you can sleep here and I’ll watch over you, I’ll wake you up if anything happens.” 

Your eyes soften at his suggestion “I’d like that.” 

A smile tugs at his lips, his eyes lighting up. Leaning in, he kisses your forehead softly “come on.” he whispers, taking your hand in his, he leads you into his bedroom. 

Eddie gave you his favorite shirt to wear, his sacred Black Sabbath shirt. Sitting on his bed, you look around the room, nothing has changed since the last time you were here.

Your eyes fall on a piece of paper laying on top of one of his books on his desk. You don’t need to move closer to recognize your handwriting but you get up anyways, picking up the piece of paper, you unfold it fully, it was the note you gave him when the two of you were assigned as partners during history class, last year. 

You were too nervous to speak to him, so you wrote him a little note and slid it over to him. 

Wanna study at my place tonight? 7pm?

- Y/n

It was nothing special, a simple little note. Just a piece of paper but he kept it. 

Because you gave it to him. 

The thought of him keeping something so small from you made your heart flutter. 

“I made you hot chocolate.” Eddie says as he comes back into his room “the best hot chocolate of Hawkins.” he adds.

Putting the note down, you turn around to find him staring at you. A soft look in his eyes, his cheeks flushed as he looks at you.

The butterflies flutter in his stomach, his heart skips a beat. Standing there in the middle of his room with just his shirt on; you are the prettiest girl to him. 

Walking towards him, you smile nervously as your eyes lock “can I try?” you ask, your eyes flicker to his lips for a second.

“W-What?” 

“The best hot chocolate of Hawkins.” you whisper, making him chuckle. 

“Of course, doll.” he chuckles, smiling at you. 

He hands you the mug. Your fingers brush his as you take it from him. You smile softly unaware that such a small action from you is enough to make him weak in the knees. 

He loves you. He loves you so much that it hurt when he couldn't be next to you. 

“Oh wow.” you mumble after taking a sip of the sweet beverage “that really is the best hot chocolate.” you say making him smile. 

“Told you so.” he shrugs with a smirk on his face. 

You chuckle, taking another sip before you put the mug down on his table, next to the note. Turning around again, you stare at him for the longest time, eyeing soft expression on his face. 

You missed him so much. 

You just want to throw your arms around him and never let go again and without a second thought you step closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, you lean your head against his chest “I miss you, Eddie.” 

“I miss you too, y/n, like crazy.” he whispers as you wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly against him. He longed for this, for you in his arms and now you were finally here, with him. 

Looking up at him, your eyes lock, you can’t stop the guilty feeling that creeps up in you. You pushed him away even though you never wanted to but you didn't want him to see you this way, you didn't want to be a burden on him but now as you look into his eyes, you know he would never think of you as that; a burden. 

He cares for you, deeply. You can feel it and you can see it in his eyes. Even when he was just staring at you from afar. 

You always felt it.

Your hands move up to his neck, standing on your tippy toes, you stare at him for the longest time, just gazing into his eyes. 

His hands cup your cheeks softly “y/n” he whispers as he leans in closer, his lips almost touching yours now.

You close the gap between the two of you and press your lips against his as your eyes close. 

His eyes flutter close. his heart skips a beat at the feeling of your lips against his. Pulling you in even closer, he kisses you back with all the love he has for you. 

The kiss is soft yet passionate. Filled with raw emotions and it just feels right, it feels perfect. 

You feel safe in his embrace. 

At home. 

Right at this moment, you know, that as long as you have him, nothing and no one can hurt you. 

-

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson angst #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff

[livyjh]

Temptation ch.10

Co-written with @fhatbhabie

No outbreak!Dbf!Joel x Fem!Plus size!Reader

Series Masterlist

Rating: EXPLICIT 18+

Summary: After breaking things off with your toxic boyfriend, you move back home with your dad. His best friend and neighbor, Joel Miller, takes an interest in you. But you’re the one who has to convince him to make the first move.

A/N: the drama continues!!!! Have fun reading ;)

Chapter warnings: family drama, mention of violence, yelling, crying, anxiety, mention of cheating, someone’s birthday!!, mention of work, sweating, risky car sex, oral sex (f receiving), gifts, spanking, date gone wrong, unprotected p in v (wrap it bitches), a dash of breeding kink, mention of lactation, I think that’s it??

Divider art by: @saradika

“What do you want, Kendra?” Your dad said.

“I came to see my daughter. Is that so bad, Charlie??” She snapped back.

“It is when you flat out said you wanted nothing to do with her or me.” Your dad rolled his eyes.

You grabbed your phone and purse and pushed out the door. You heard your dad call out your name but you got in your car and drove off.

“Where is she going?” Your mother questioned.

“Kendra, get the fuck off my property.” Your dad seethed.

“News flash, this is my house too.” The car door opened and closed as your dad looked over and saw his old best friend, Will.

“Are you fucking serious??” Your dad yelled out. Joel walked out of the house and looked over, seeing that your car was gone and your mother was there.

“This is her house too, Charlie.” Will piped up.

“You not remember when I fucking caved your face in, Will?? Or do you need a reminder???” Your dad yelled out, making Joel run over and push your dad to back away.

“Don't do this. Think of Y/N. You think she wants to see you in jail? Or worse?” Joel muttered in your dad’s ear. He gave Joel a nod and walked back into the house, slamming the door behind him.

“Kendra, it’s best if you leave.”

“Joel, this is my house! I want to see my daughter and I want my house!” She whined like a child.

“You lost every right to call her your daughter when you chose Will over her.” Joel snapped back.

“Babe, let's go. We'll come back later.” Will said, pulling her back into the car and driving off.

Joel pulled out his phone and called you.

“What?” You said, sniffing.

“Darlin’ where are you?”

“Coffee place down the road…”

***

Joel walked into the small coffee shop and saw you sitting in the corner scrolling on your phone. He walked over and sat in front of you.

“They left…” he muttered.

“Good.” Ypu said, still looking at your phone.

“C’mon...” he grabbed your free hand and walked you out.

You and Joel walked around for a while. He held your hand the entire time and listened to you talk and vent and cry. He hated to see you like this but he did everything he could to make you feel better. After a few hours you got back in your car and drove home with Joel right behind you. You pulled into the drive way and saw your dad sitting outside on the front porch.

“Dad?” You said, standing in front of him.

“Y/N…” he walked over to you and pulled you into a hug. “Are you okay? Are you hurt??”

“No, dad, I'm okay... What's going on?”

He sighed and sat down with you. “Your mother wants to see you. Obviously you're old enough to make these choices on your own, but…” he thinks for a second, “what do you want to do?”

“Dunno… never thought I'd see her again, really…”

“I know… Like I said, it's all up to you. I don't want you to go alone though and I sure as shit can't be around her. Think your boyfriend can go with you?”

“Oh… um, I don't think so, he's away on work…” you make up an excuse since your boyfriend was actually standing right next to you.

“I'll go.” Joel said. “I can sit there with them, makin’ sure Kendra’s not tellin’ lies or anythin’.”

“Joel I can't ask you to-” your dad began.

“Already said I was going, you can't change my mind.” Joel said, making you and your dad smile.

***

It was the day you planned to meet up with your mom. Joel drove while you sat in the passenger seat thinking of everything you were going to say. He pulled into the restaurant and helped you out.

“I'm nervous…” you frowned.

“Don't be darlin’, I'm right here...” he pulled you into a soft kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too… Thank you so much for being here.”

“Anythin’ for you, baby.” He kissed your forehead and walked in with you. You looked around and saw your mother sitting at a table with who you assume was now her husband. You walked over and sat down across from them.

“Y/N… you look beautiful, honey.” Your mom gave a fake looking smile.

“What did you want to see me for?” Your asked, looking over at her. She looked at Joel who was sitting next to you and chuckled.

“You two? Really?” She said, laughing.

“He's here as a favor for me and dad.”

“Oh, honey. I'm not blind, you know.”

“Answer her question.” Joel said, giving her a glare.

“Aww. So protective of your girlfriend, aren't you Joel?” She said, smirking. “Y/N, be careful with your dad’s friends. He’ll end up bruising that pretty face Joel has.”

“You cheated on dad with Will. You got mad when you got caught. Then you played the blame game and said dad trapped you with me and he forced you to have me when all along you wanted nothing to do with me or him. Now I'm going to ask again before I’m the one that's bruising faces. What do you want?” You spoke through your teeth.

“I want to see you more.” She pleaded.

“You lost that when you left, Kendra.” You spat out .

“Hey, you need to learn to respect your mother.” Will said, making you roll your eyes and scoff.

“She left me! She flat out said she wanted nothing to do with me! She lost all my fucking respect when she walked out the door!” You yelled out, making everyone in the restaurant look over at you.

“Listen here, you little bitch. I am your mother. You will respect me.” Kendra spat out.

“I don't have to respect shit. You are not my mother. You're just the cunt who slept with your husband’s best friend and left your child alone making her blame herself for the entire 25 years of her life!!” you stood up and grabbed your purse. “Do me a favor, Kendra. Don't talk to me. Don't try to contact me or my dad. Do what you know best and pretend that we don't exsist.” With that, you stormed out of the restaurant.

***

A few days had passed since the night at the restaurant and Joel hasn't left your side for a minute. Every morning he'd walk over and check on you and every night he'd stay on the phone with you until you fell asleep.

You were sound asleep when your dad walked into your bedroom with Sarah. She jumped on top of you, making you groan. You rolled over and saw her.

“Sarah??”

“Happy birthday!” she yelled out as she pulled you into a hug.

“How did-?”

“Your dad came and picked me up. He said you could use a friend today.” She said, making you tear up.

“So what do you want to do today, birthday girl?” Sarah grinned.

“Well… I gotta work for a bit today.” You sighed.

“How about the bar? Later tonight?”

“Yeah that's perfect.” You smiled.

You walked into work and into your office. You got yourself situated when the office receptionist knocked on the door.

“Come in!” You called out. She walked in with the biggest bouquet of red roses you've ever seen.

“Got a delivery for you.” She said, smiling as she sat the vase down on your desk.

“Oh my god...” you laughed in disbelief.

“Happy birthday.” She said as she handed you a card. “This came with it.”

You thanked her as she walked out. You opened the card and knew it was from Joel just by the hand writing.

Happy Birthday darlin

I love you to the moon and back.

You grabbed your phone and called Joel.

“Hello?” He answered, out of breath.

“Oh sorry baby, are you busy?”

“Nah, just trying to show these pack of fools how to do their jobs. Everythin’ alright?”

“Yeah, perfect actually. Wanted to call and say thank you for the roses.” You smiled.

“Oh you got them? How do they look?” You could hear him smiling through the phone too.

“Expensive... but beautiful.”

“Just like my girl.” He said, making you blush. “Sarah told me you’re going out tonight?”

“Yeah, just to have a few drinks nothin’ too crazy.”

“Gonna be a little crazy. Just you wait and see what she has for your gift.”

“Oh god.” You chuckled. “Same time for lunch?”

“Same time darlin’. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.”

Around lunch you walked out of the office and drove off. You pulled into a driveway surrounded and shaded by hedges at the house Joel had been working on the past few days. He walked over, getting in your car.

“Hey darlin’.” He said, pecking your lips.

“Mm, hey.” You looked him up and down and chewed on your bottom lip. He was covered in paint and sweat, making his t-shirt stick to his chest.

“Working hard, baby?” You bit your lip.

“Yeah, damn house owners got the AC shut off so we're all sweatin’.”

“Mmhm…” you scanned him again.

He looks over at you and chuckles. “This gettin’ you goin?”

“Baby, you have no idea…”

“C’mon.” He looked over his shoulder to the back seat, making you quickly get back there. He pulled your skirt up and slid your panties off, tossing them on the floor of your car. He tossed your legs over his shoulders and kissed the inside of your thighs.

“Joel…” you breathed.

“Look at that…” he said as he ran his finger up your folds. “Good thing I'm hungry...” he pushed his head down, running his tongue up and down your slit, making you moan. He spread your folds open and took your clit into his mouth.

“Fuck, baby...” you moaned as you tangled your fingers in his graying curls.

He made his way downward and slipped two fingers in, making you gasp. He sucked away at your clit like a man deprived of water as he pumped his fingers in and out.

“Oh fuck, Joel!!” You yelled out as you pulled his hair, making him groan. He curled his fingers up, making you squirm as he touched the spongy spot inside you. He kept curling his fingers up, over and over, making your eyes roll back. You felt the tightness in your lower tummy, knowing what he was gonna make you do.

“C’mon darlin’, you know what I want...” he muttered against your clit. You had the feeling that you had to pee build up, making you realize Joel had done his job right. You squirted into his mouth as he pulled his fingers out and covered your cunt with his mouth, collecting every drop.

He pulled away, giving your swollen folds a soft kiss, making you whimper.

“Come here...” you said as you pulled him into a kiss, moaning in his mouth at the taste of yourself.

“Happy birthday.” He whispered against your lips, making you smile.

***

Later that day, you walked over to Joel's and knocked on the door to see him in a dark green button up with the first 3 buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows with a pair of jeans.

“What do you think?” He asked.

“You know that's my favorite shirt...” you giggled.

“Exactly.” He smirked. Sarah walked over in her favorite, classic, purple dress and smiled.

“Hot dress.” She said. You had on a short black dress which just happened to be Joel's favorite.

“Ready?” Joel asked.

“You're coming with us to the bar?” You asked.

“I am going to the bar. Dad has something else planned for you two. Have fun, don't wait up!” She said as she drove off, leaving you and Joel alone.

“Ready?” He asked as he closed the door behind him.

“Don't know, feel like you're gonna murder me or something...” you said, making him laugh. You both got into his truck and drove off. After driving for a few minutes Joel put his truck in park and shut it off. You hopped out and looked around. He drove to a small, secluded outlook on a mountain overlooking the skyline of Austin and a night sky full of stars.

“C’mon.” He said, patting the bed of his truck. He had a blanket laid down with a few pillows and a small gift box in his hands. You kicked your heels off and sat down next to him.

“Happy birthday.” He said as he handed you the box.

“Joel… you didn't have to buy me something... the roses were plenty.”

“No, the roses were for everyone to know at the office that you belong to me. This is for everyone else to know.” He smiled. You opened the box revealing a silver necklace with a small “J”. You pulled out the necklace and laughed.

“Funny how this was the exact same one I was looking at in the mall with Sarah.” You said, making Joel chuckle. He took the necklace from your hands and wrapped it around your neck, clipping it on. He smiled as he looked down at the silver letter that laid perfectly on your chest.

The entire night you laid in the bed of his truck with him, talking and looking at the stars.

“Thank you Joel… for everything today.” You said, looking up at him.

“Anything for you, darlin’.” He smiled.

After a moment of silence, you asked him something. “Whatever did happen between you and Sarah's mom? If you don't mind me asking.”

“Well… I always wanted a house full of kids...” he chuckled. “When Sarah's mom got pregnant, God, I was over the fucking moon... Her mom on the other hand not so much. We were married before Sarah but when she got pregnant it's like everything fell apart. She hated me and she hated Sarah. Said Sarah “ruined her perfect body”. Blamed me because I didn't want her to get rid of her…”

“So her mom did basically the same thing my mom did?” You said, sitting up. He sat up with you and pressed his back to the back window of the truck.

“Those two women were best friends. I got closer with your dad through working on a sign for the contracting business and one night all four of us went out to dinner and they became friends.”

“Cunty friends...” you mumbled, making Joel chuckle.

“Cunty friends is correct. One morning I got woken up by Sarah crying and I saw all her stuff was gone. She left a sticky note on Sarah's chest saying I'm done. Talk to my lawyer. Good luck.”

“Baby…” you said, looking at him sadly.

“Don't be sad, honey. Her leaving was the best for me and Sarah. Plus, you know, I found this girl and damn… She's the best thing that ever happened to me.” he said looking at you smiling. You straddled his waist and pulled him into a deep kiss.

“Joel Miller, you know all the right words to tell a woman... Don't know how you stayed single for so long.” You said, making him laugh.

“Because no one felt the same except for you…” you felt yourself tear up. God you loved this man so much and he loved you the same. You felt his hands slide up your dress and caress your outer thighs. You pulled him back into a kiss tangling your fingers in his curls. His hands slid up to your waist, making him smirk against your lips.

“No panties?” He hums.

“Nope.” You giggle.

“That's my girl...” you whimpered at the words that came out of his mouth. You loved being his and by God did it drive you fucking crazy when he reminded you. He bunched your dress up around your waist letting the cool breeze graze your cheeks. He grabbed your ass and started kneading your ass like it was fucking dough, making your bare pussy grind on his clothed crotch. You felt his hands disappear for a second, only for them to connect with your ass hard, making you hiss.

“C’mon that didn't hurt.” He said with a cocky smile. He smacked your ass again, harder than before, making you whimper at the stinging sensation.

“Joel…” you whined, making him smack your ass harder, sure to leave a bright red handprint. You heard your phone buzz against the bed of the truck. You looked over and saw Sarah's name light up your screen.

“Shit, hang on...” you grabbed your phone and answered. “What's up, Sarah?”

“Please come pick me up.” She sobbed.

“Of course, just text me the address, we're on our way.”

“Okay.” She hung up.

“What's wrong??” Joel asked.

“Don't know, she called me crying, asking to come get her…” you and Joel quickly picked everything up and hopped into the truck cab, driving off.

Joel pulled into a small apartment complex only to see Sarah sitting on the curb, crying. You looked over and saw his eyes turn black and his jaw clench. He was pissed.

“I'll get her...” You jumped out of the car and walked over to her. You wrapped her arm around your shoulders and helped her into the car.

“I- I'm so s- sorry..” she sobbed.

“Don't be...” she laid her head on your shoulder, making you wrap your arms around her, holding her close.

***

You walked into Joel's bedroom and saw him sitting in bed with his back against the headboard.

“She said some guy invited her back to his place and she started feeling sick and he kicked her out…” he looked over at you with his eyes still dark and his hands now balled into fists.

“Fucking asshole.” He said through gritted teeth. You walked over and straddled him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You felt him relax a little but he was still pissed.

“She okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, baby... I helped her change out of her dress and I stayed with her until she fell asleep.”

“Thank you...” Joel trailed off.

“Anytime.” You said, giving him a soft smile. He pulled you down and kissed you softly. He slid his hands down to the back of your dress and unzipped it.

“Joel, we don't have to…” you mumbled against his lips.

“I want to.” He said as he looped his fingers in the straps of your dress and slid them off your shoulders. You quickly slipped off the dress, making Joel leave a trail of wet kisses down your neck to your chest.

“So fuckin’ pretty…” he mumbled. He slid his hands down, making his finger tips touch every curve of your body. You felt his length grow harder and harder underneath the blanket. You pulled the blanket back and looped your fingers around his boxers, pulling them down just enough so his dick springs out.

He grabs your ass and picks you up, lining himself up to your entrance. You gripped his shoulders and slowly sat down, making both of you groan. He started bouncing you up and down, making his tip hit your sweet spot every time and making your tits bounce in his face.

“Look so good ridin’ me, honey... So fuckin’ beautiful.” He groaned. You dug your nails into his shoulders, trying your best to keep yourself up, but… fuck. His dick was too damn good. He pulled you close to his chest and kissed up your neck.

“So good t’me and Sarah. Makes me wanna make you a mama so bad...” he whispered in your ear, making your pussy flutter and clench around him. He smirked against the skin of your neck and bounced you faster and harder.

“Fill you up so good, darlin’... Watch your tits grow even bigger, suck the milk out of them...”

“Jesus fucking Christ..” you gasped out, tossing your head back. He slid his hand down and rubbed your clit in circles making your walls tighten around him.

“That's it mama, cum for me.” He said, making you cum all over him. He bounced you a few more times, releasing his hot seed deep inside you. You rested your forehead on his, trying to catch your breath.

“Didn't think you had a breeding kink.” You mumbled, making him chuckle.

“Could say the same about you… mama.” You felt your pussy flutter again. Maybe he's right...

***

Joel woke up the next morning to the smell of fresh coffee and breakfast being made. He got up and got dressed for work and then made his way downstairs to see you and Sarah in the kitchen.

“No more alcohol for me. Made a fool of myself once, not doing it again.” Sarah mumbled as she stuffed her face with breakfast food.

“You know what, I'll do the same with you. So you don't feel alone.” You replied.

“Ugh. You're the fucking best.” She said, making you smile.

Joel walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around pulling you close to him. “Mornin’, mama.” he whispered, making you giggle like a damn school girl.

“Morning, baby.” You sigh and lean into him.

“Sarah, how are you feeling?” He asked, looking over at her.

“Like I'm never drinking again...” she said, making you and Joel laugh.

____________________________________________

Tag list: @evyiione @chyannealaniz @cesspitoflove @supersingle @dizzyforyou @jrosie25 @blackfemalenerd @bongsrconfusing @milly-louise @vampire7595

#fanfic #fanfiction #smut #pedro pascal #imagine #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel x you #joel x reader #joel x y/n #Joel x plus size reader #joel miller x plus size reader #joel miller x you #Joel miller x curvy reader #dbf Joel #dbf!joel #dbf joel miller #dbf!joel miller #dads best friend #plus size reader #temptation #joel the last of us #joel tlou #joel #no outbreak!joel miller #AU #no outbreak #the last of us

[lericekrispie]

A bad bitch's guide to practical fashion

Hello! Just some realistic tips and tricks I've learned through living life to help me with some of my conditions while still slaying. Things I deal with that you may be able to relate to-

Anxiety, Adhd, Sensory Issues, Heavyset, Lite Eczema, Acne

Keep a spare change of clothes in your car/bag

Sometimes, I want to wear an outfit that's outside of my comfort zone. Maybe it's wearing something that shows off my curves more, or a fabric that I can barely tolerate. And I push myself out of my comfort zone to try something new! But sometimes I realize halfway through the day that if I don't change right this second, I will have a panic attack and die. Keeping a pair of SAFE clothes in your car/bag is always a good idea! I have sweats, a sweatshirt, and shorts in my car at all times. Also great if you are chaffing/having a bad skin day and need to change unexpectedly.

Buy clothes that fit you

I have this problem of always trying on things and thinking hmmm... maybe it'll fit in a year, once I start working out, loose some weight... NO! Clothes fit you, you aren't supposed to fit clothes! If you do loose some weight, then you get to go shopping again :) and buy more clothes. But you are shopping for present you right now, your beautiful, amazing, fashionable self.

Cut your tags/clothes up

I was told by my parents to not cut my tags, and I was always afraid to. But I'm telling you, you bought those clothes, these are yours, do whatever you want with what you own. Cut the tag if it'll make you feel better. If the arms are too tight cut a slit. On the same note, if you want to tie something shorter with a hair-tie, fucking do it! If it's not short enough crop it. I promise the clothes police won't come after you.

don't put up with terrible fabrics

Don't buy something if you know wearing it is going to be a chore b/c of the sensation. Also, here are some tips for some fabrics

leggings under jeans if you can tolerate leggings > jeans

fishnets under jeans w/ holes if fishnets > jeans

colorful sweatpants (neon green, orange, red, ect.) as a comfy fashion statement

a nice turtleneck under a t-shirt if turtleneck > shirt

long socks (men's section rocks) to avoid blisters on ankles

don't put up with terrible jewelry

I personally love jewelry, but can only keep some things on for so long.

try gloves instead of rings. you can make gloves out of fishnets/tights

try woven/braided bracelets that are not removable w/o scissors > metal clunky bracelets (anklets too)

try skin markers/henna > annoying hand jewelry

If you are trying to branch out but are self-conscious, try to find a safety jacket

just a jacket that you can slip on and off, something light, that you can zip up if you get self-conscious and will make you feel better, but something you can carry/tie around your waist if you are feeling yourself.

My makeup if I'm having bad acne/can't handle the feeling

Concealer- over redness

Body stick/blush- on eyes and cheeks, and nose

Vaseline/Chapstick on lips, can put Vaseline on eyelids for shine (can clog pores be careful)

Mascara

Takes like 15 minutes also if ur in a rush!

For my fellas with boobas who hate bras

here are alternatives!

Trans tape- havn't tried but have heard good things

Breast petals- personally they are expensive, so I mostly use bandaids. Always a toss up if you are going to rip up the nip. NOT FUN! DO NOT RECCOMEND! Only do so if you don't care about having scabs on the girls. Or are poor, like me, and have to use bandaids.

Just don't wear a bra. I mostly go for this option, I feel so free. Very gender affirming, love a bad-bitch who doesn't wear a bra. I save so much money. You have no idea. SO MUCH MONEY. I also love never feeling the pain of a bra, the idea of putting one on is so foreign to me now. I never realized how much pain I was in b4.

This is my advice for now, hope it helps! If you have anything to share pls feel free to! <3

#text post #fashion advice #mine #practical fashion #fashion #sensory issues #living with adhd #adhd post #anxeity #eczema #beauty tips

[fantasy-relax]

Please just love her

Part 2

@crispyfriedchikem sorry my brain wanted fluff.

Bela prepared everything the week that were going to discharge you, a hotel room was not enough if you were going to rest, so she bought a small house to live in until you got better, her savings were more than enough to pay for it.

You were sleeping less, your medication doses were reduced as the days went by. The doctor said that slowly introducing you into your life was the best thing to do, so that's what she did.

"You entered the theater course for a while bu- " she stopped when she see you frown and grab your chest as if you wanted to rip out your heart. Fear made her break out in a cold sweat. Did your memories come back? Was your love for Cassandra that strong?

"Mc, are you okay? Shall I call the nurse?" Don't hate her, don't hate her, she will beg in her knees please dont leave her.

"No need, I just felt... A wave of misery and loneliness, God, it must have been a horrible experience for the mere mention of it to provoke such a reaction in me. Can we skip it?"

You are the one who decided to avoid the topic. She only fulfilled your wish. Liar

"There was an accident that left you unable to act and other unpleasant situations were the reason for you to leave, after that you decided to enter a club on the advice of my sister Daniela who was your roommate and is a friend of yours"

"Roommate?"

"Yes, she and Angie, my cousin, were your roommates, they were both worried sick when I told them about you accident, my aunt Donna and I had to stop them from coming because they are in the middle of exams and their grades arent the best"

"They sound like an incredible duo." The tiredness in your voice announced that it was time to let you sleep"

She smiled at you.

"They are"

—----------------------------------------

With house already furnished, now she had to deal with what she had been avoiding, telling Daniela and Angie about your new condition. She hadn't called them yet, too busy with preparations for your Care. Liar

How was she going to convince them to follow her lie?

Taking a deep breath she calls her youngest sister. What about the other one?. Daniela answer quickly.

"Shut up this is important, Bela! What happened is everything alright?!"

"They are already awake, there are still some bruises and her shoulder has not yet healed, but the most important thing is the damage to her memory... she has no memories about these two years"

"What? She doesn't remember us or Cassandra?"

"They only remembers the moment they went to the theater, nothing more, they don't remember you, Angie, Cassandra or me, they do remember anything that happened in these two years and when I tried to tell them about the theater and Cassandra they had a bad reaction, it seems that while they don't have memory of the event, part of them must remember the emotions they went through... They asked me not to talk about it."

"If they react badly it's better to avoid it, we don't want to stress them out when they're still healing."

"Yes, that's what I thought too"

"...Cassandra has called you?"

"No, and you?"

"Me neither... Look the exam period is almost over, after preparing everything we will go to see you, are you going to stay in london?"

"I don't want to risk traveling with them in that state, I already bought a house and fixed it up"

"And you will be their loyal nurse... Bela you must stop torturing yourself like this."

"I do not know what you're talking about"

"We'll talk more when I'm there, take care, I love you, sis"

"I love you too"

Coward

--------------------—-------------------

After telling you about the adventures you had with your roommates (or at least the ones she knew about) the topic of your conversations change to one she wanted to avoid a little longer.

"How did we meet?"

Despite of the Anxiety that drown her remembering how you came into her life, the blonde couldn't help but smile.

"Well, I was on my way to the student council when I ran into you. You were going to check out the clubs but you stopped to help me carry some books to the library and you ended up making them fall"

"Hey I just wanted to help!

"It was completely unnecessary since I had everything under control"

"Seriously, if you had everything under control why did they fall?"

"Because you get in my way!

"Well, what did you want me to do? If a Roman Goddess needs help, of course I'm going to offer to help!"

"Huh!?

"I'm just a poor mortal after all, darling."

....Have you always been this flirtatious? She knows you can be quite playful when you arent in one of your bad days but she doesn't knew that flirty side of you. Cassandra does

"I'm Romanian, not Roman, I think you need to sleep, rest"

"How cruel the Romanian gods are, abandoning their faithful believers, oh my poor heart!"

"REST MC"

--------—

They finally released you from the hospital and the joy of seeing you out of the medical gown and in her clothes made the blonde forget a little detail.

Your hygiene.

More precise, bathing.

The shoulder that was pierced was that of your dominant arm. It still wasn't completely healed so you needed some help.

Le naiba

Now sitting next to the bathtub preparing the water for your bath, her mind kept reproaching her for her actions.

How lucky are you, right? Now you can enjoy their naked body freely.

She's not going to look more than necessary.

Why not?

She is not depraved.

You stole your sister's partner.

...

And you have made them believe that both of you are married.

....

What could be more depraved than that?

"Is the water ready, dear? I would really like to have a hot bath."

She almost jumped to the roof, deep in thought, she didn't hear you enter.

"y-yes"

"Can you help me with my clothes, pretty girl?"

How lucky you are Judas.

Her hands shake and her face grows redder with each piece of skin that is revealed to her. Placing her hand on back while looking away from your body, she helps you get into the bathtub.

" Do you need anything else? "

"No, I think I can take care of it myself, I'll call for you if I need anything. Go to the kitchen, it looks like you're thirsty."

God, you're such a little shit.

Her face turns redder when she hears your laughter.

---

"Bela, a little help please!"

Leaving the ingredients for the food aside and cleaning her hands, she heads to the bathroom, where you wait naked, because you bathed naked and she helped you to undress...

Where did her intellectual language go?

Taking a deep breath she opens the door, the blush appearing violently again on her face as she looks at you.

"Do you think you can take me to bed, honey?"

WHAT?

"I'm tired, you left me alone"

"You told me you could do it yourself!"

"You hurt my feelings now hold me as an apology"

"Ugh!" The blonde raised her hands to the sky asking for patience. And strength to not fall into lust.

"I'm jo-huh!"

Your words were interrupted when you found yourself in her arms. Now she wasn't the only one with a red face.

"Do I weigh anything for you?"

"It's like carrying a sack of grapes"

Doing her best to ignore your naked body in her arms she headed to the room where you would both sleep.

Placing you delicately on the bed, she walked away from it to look for a towel and clothes, feeling your gaze full of admiration and amazement.

Finding what she was looking for she proceeds to help you dry and change smiling she remembers the first time she carried you.

---

It was one night that you stayed in the student council with her reviewing some documents. Your eyebags consumed your face slowly and she knows is not all because of your work with her.

"You should go to sleep, you can continue working tomorrow"

"Look who says it, resident workaholic, as soon as I leave you will do your paperwork and then mine"

" I am used to"

"And I can get used to it too"

"Stop being so stubborn and go to sleep!"

" Make me!"

"Fine!"

"Huh!?

The blonde had thrown you over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes and she began walking towards the door, leaving the documents on the council table.

"BELA! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!

"Making you go to sleep"

It was after one in the morning so the path to your bedroom was thankfully empty.

"This is harassment, you are harassing me!"

The president of the council ignores your complaints and with her free hand knocks on the door, a few minutes later Angie opens the door. Bela takes you off her shoulders and holds you by your armpits like a scolded cat.

"Home delivery"

The younger blonde snaps out of her surprise and starts laughing out loud.

"This isn't funny Angie! They're holding me against my will, defend me!"

"Angie, what happened?... HAHAHAA"

Daniela joined the blonde's uncontrolled laughter.

"Enough!" You move your leg to stomp at the floor ... But your feet didn't reach the ground... Now it was easy to notice the difference in height between you and Bela.

"With your permission"

Your roommates only laughed at your situation. They even opened the bedroom door giving free passage to the eldest.

She put you gently on the bed when you grab her arms suddenly and make her laid on top of you, crossing your arms and legs around her body.

"Mc, let me go"

"No, you took away my dignity, your punishment is to be my blanket"

" You know that I can escape easily?

"If you do I will be angry with you"

"I'm shaking with fear...seriously the papers were left on the table"

"Tomorrow's problem..."

The tiredness in your body won. You were asleep fast.

Bela could have left.

She should have left.

Cassandra is your girlfriend she should be the one in your arms.

The Romanian closes her eyes and lets the beating of your heart lull her.

Cassandra's not here.

Bela is.

-----

"Bela?"

She comes out of her memories when she hears your voice.

"Do you need anything else?"

"Could you tell me how we ended up together?"

#resident lover #bela dimitrescu #My work

[juiles]

I’m always by your side.

Summary: here is the idea! I hope you like it!!

Type: all fluff

Triggers: small mention of a panic attack but nothing else.

Masterlist here!

———————————————————

Y/N pov

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and coughing. I knew what that meant. The stupid cold that had gone through my class finally made it to me. I couldn’t be sick though. I had to write a test at school this morning then head to set with mama to shoot a short scene.

I’m in the newest marvel movie playing mama’s daughter in a different universe. I had to audition just like the rest of the kids but most of my classmates think i only got it because of who my mom was which isn’t true.

I sat up in my bed rubbing my eyes trying to will myself to feel better at this exact moment. I felt a tickle in my nose and quickly stifled a sneeze into my arm groaning. Mama is gonna find out. I know she is but i can at least try and hide it. She wouldn’t let a cold stop her from going to set or writing a test so i pull myself out of my bed and to my bathroom.

I decided a shower would be perfect so i turned it on and quickly got in. I didn’t even have the energy to wash my hair so instead I pulled it up into a bun and washed my body before standing under the scalding water for a while until i heard mama knock on my door to tell me it’s time to get out.

I trudged through the rest of my morning routine, getting changed, brushing my teeth, packing my bag. I even put a little makeup on to make myself look better as i looked like death. I finally found myself downstairs staring at a bowl of oatmeal mom had made for me.

“Eat up babe. You’ll be late for your test.” Mum said as she wandered around collecting the odds and ends she needed for the day. “Don’t forget, Robbie is picking you up at 11:30 to be on set for 12. When you get there come straight to my trailer or Scarlett’s.”

“I know mama…” I muttered wincing at how scratchy my voice was. I saw mom freeze and turn in her door to eye me up.

“You okay lovely?” She asked making her way over to me, i quickly flinched away and jumped off the stool.

“I’m fine. Just haven’t used my voice yet.” I lied and she seemed to believe it as she hummed and grabbed her purse.

“Let’s go!” I shoved my packed lunch in my backpack and ran to the car climbing into the backseat buckling up. “Mamaaaaaa let’s gooooo. I’m gonna be laaaaaaaate.” I whined making her laugh as she threw her stuff in the trunk then climbed in the front and turned the car on.

“Okay monkey. You ready for the math test?” I nodded with a hum in response and we pulled out.

When we finally got to my school, i was feeling even worse than normal. My whole body felt shaky and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of overall meh. I had to stifle a few coughs and sneezes then before i got inside i let a few out knowing mom had driven away. By the time i got to math i was completely out of it. My mind was a fog and my whole body was covered in a layer of sweat. I wrote my test knowing that i probably failed and made my way outside after my name was called before climbing into Robbie’s car.

“Hey peanut.” He said with a soft smile that quickly faded when he saw me. “You feeling alright love?” I merely nodded before my head fell against the window and i fell asleep. The next thing i knew i was in my bed wrapped up in my big duvet, a familiar pair of arms wrapped around my waist.

I shifted to look up at mum who had a few tears on her face. “Hi mama…” I croaked out then winced at hearing how bad my voice was.

“Baby… why didn’t you say anything?” She asked pressing kisses all over my face.

Lizzie pov

I knew this morning that y/n was sick but i knew not to push her as she had been studying for this test for ages. I had emailed her teacher and told her that y/n would take the test but she would retake it at a later date as her anxiety would be through the roof from being sick. I also called the set and told them we both needed the next two days off and they understood.

When Robbie picked her up from school, which was two hours earlier than planned, not that she seemed to notice. He called me as she got into the car because she directly fell asleep as soon as she sat down.

“Hey Liz.” He whispered quietly through the phone as i set up my bedroom for the two of us for the next few days.

“Hey Robbie… how is she…?” I asked, my anxiety peaking through as my voice shook.

“She fell asleep the minute she got in the car. I’m on my way home now with her and the goods. How do you know she wouldn’t question the timing?” He asked.

“She is a fiesty anxiety driven thing. Her anxiety to finish this test would have caused her to spiral into a panic attack until she was able to take the test.” I said sitting on a stool in the kitchen waiting for them. He chuckled softly.

“She really is your kid huh?” I laughed at that softly.

“Yeah. She’s my mini me. I’m lucky to have her.” I said with a soft smile thinking of my little girl. That’s when i heard the car pull up and i hung my phone up and made my way to the front door to open it. Robbie carried y/n in, her arms and legs draped over his neck and waist as she slept in his arms. “Oh my poor baby…” I said coming around to take her in my arms. She wrapped herself around me like a koala in her sleep as i made my way up the stairs and to my room.

I pulled her duvet around her shivering body and wrapped my arms around her as she snuggled into me. I could feel how hot she was as she buried her face into my neck. I could feel a few tears escape my eyes before i felt her shuffle around in my arms before looking up at me through her big blue eyes that were hazed with a fever.

“Hi mama…” I watched her flinch at the sound of her voice.

“Baby… why didn’t you say anything?” I asked softly before feeling her small hand wipe the tears off my face. “You are burning up.” I quickly wipe her forehead with a cold wet cloth before planting a kiss on it. “It’s time to take some medicine.”

She nodded with a small whimper as she tried to bury herself farther into me. “I’m sorry mama… I’m sorry… i needed to write the test… i had to… but i failed… i’m sorry i failed mama…”

“Hey. None of that okay? Do you hear me? You are getting a chance to rewrite it next week and the scenes will be reshot next week.” I said smoothing her hair down a little as she whimpered into me. “You are sick baby. With a high fever. You need to work on yourself before your grades baby. You are way more important. Do you hear me?”

She shook her head sniffling as she buried into me more. “But you don’t let a cold stop you mama…”

“Oh baby i stop when my body is sick. You’ve seen me. A cold is more important to deal with than a stupid test.” She looked up at me with her bright eyes as i spooned some medicine into her mouth gently. She made a face swallowing it before her eyes started to flutter shut. I love you baby. More than words could say. You need to know that I am always by your side.”

#marvel imagine #avengers imagine #mcu imagine #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen x teen!reader #elizabeth olsen x daughter!reader #lizzie olsen #elizabeth olsen x platonic!reader #celebrity imagines

[letstripdotcom]

right where you left me- pt.2

a/n- i’m having sm fun writing this

summary- upon the loss of your favorite person, your life changes completely. you change, your family changes, your every day life changes, but some things never change. your best friend, matt, has always been there and will always be there for you. no matter what

warnings- grief, panic attack

-

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

They expected me to find somewhere

Some perspective, but I sat and stared

-

a couple hours of sleep had passed before my peace was interrupted. i abruptly woke up, my chest feeling tight. my heart was beating through my chest and i was in a cold sweat. i was having another panic attack. great.

i took several deep shaky breaths trying to ease myself. “it’s gonna be okay” i whispered to myself again and again. i tried to use some of the breathing exercises i learned from matt.

when i found out my grandma had cancer, my anxiety got really bad. i would have random panic attacks all of the time. matt was familiar with them, so he taught me how to calm myself down. this panic attack however, was not like any ones i’ve had in the past.

i let out choked sobs and frantic breaths. “please just end” i pleaded as if that would help. i got up and stumbled into the kitchen. i got a cold bottle of water from the fridge and sat down.

“please end, please end” i pleaded over and over again. “this can’t be real” i buried my head into my hands and cried.

suddenly, i felt a hand come in contact with my back. “i’ve got you, it’s gonna be okay” a familiar voice spoke. matt. what would i do without him. “come sit for a little while, and we could watch a movie or something. okay?” he said, guiding me to the living room.

i nodded and followed. he sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. “what’s your favorite movie?” he asked

“it’s corny” i laughed slightly.

“i swear i won’t judge. it’s your pick.” he nudged my shoulder softly.

i sighed. “promise?” i looked at him and he nodded. “the outsiders.”

“well the outsiders it is” i smiled at his enthusiasm. we turned on the movie i knew all too well. i could quote it if i really wanted to.

as we got further into the movie i calmed down and started to get sleepy again. i leaned over onto matt’s shoulder and closed my eyes. “thank you so much matt” i whispered. “anytime.” he wrapped his arms around me into a tight hug. the sound of the movie became more faint as i fell asleep.

-

the next morning i woke up with matt’s arms tightly around me. i noticed he was awake when i could feel him rubbing small circles on my back. “hmm” i groaned.

“good morning” he whispered letting go so i could get up and stretch.

“thank you so much matt, really.” i hugged him and went to the bathroom. i looked at myself in the mirror and audibly gasped. i looked a mess. i headed back downstairs to matt.

“hey matt, i really need to shower and brush my teeth and change out of these clothes.”

“do you want me to take you home?” he asked

home was actually the last place i wanted to be. i didn’t wanna be alone in my house with just my feelings and my thoughts. i sighed heavily. “i-i don’t know”

“hey, it’s okay you don’t have to if you don’t want to. i have spares of anything you need. you just shower and take care of everything and i’ll go by your house and get everything you need, just send me a list.

“thank you so much matt!” i hugged him and he got me everything i needed.

-

matt’s pov

-

the past 24 hours for everyone has been so strange. nothing inside of me expected last night to end the way it did at all.

i’ve known y/n since she moved to la last year a little after i did. me chris and nick met her at a movie premiere and she was super cool. we saw her videos online prior to meeting her, but we were never in touch.

the following thursday we all went to lunch and an escape room together just to get to know each other off camera. my brothers and i quickly realized how similar she was to us.

one night i’ll never forget is the night she came into our house and she was absolutely hysterical. matt and chris tried to help but it didn’t work. i tired a few breathing exercises that i was taught when im having a panic attack and eventually she was able to tell us about her grandmas cancer.

thursday night activities for us four became tradition. every thursday we took turns planning something we could to to spend quality time together.

this thursday was meant to be an awesome night. it was my turn to plan so of course i didn’t disappoint.

the original plan was to go to our favorite place for dinner, then have a late night beach picnic. we would play games, eat snacks, listen to music, and do everything that makes the beach special.

i wanted so make this night so fun and special for one reason. obviously i’m not psychic and can’t predict the future so in my head this was gonna be the perfect night for me to do the thing i’ve been trying to do for a year.

at the end of the night when nick and chris were off doing their own thing, i was gonna tell y/n i’m in love with her.

•••••••••••••••••••••••

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #smut #nick sturniolo #sturniolo

[theelvenhaven]

Dating Legolas

Having Anxiety

Request: Can I request Legolas (or an elf of your choice) and (human) someone that has anxiety when it comes to doing anything new or out of routine 😅

A/N: I am for once going to break my own rule and write for Legolas. I need something new and fresh instead of doing the same thing over again. Hopefully this is an accurate representation of Legolas, since I don't read much fanfiction on him and it matches the rest of the community. Who knows maybe I'll start taking more requests for him after this.

* * *

❧ When it comes to dating Legolas, you are going to be with someone who is very kind, supportive and very loving.

❧ Legolas is also really observant and nothing really gets past him, so when you start showing signs of anxiety, Legolas really takes notice of it.

❧ He notices how you seem to get a little shaky, or when your breathing speeds up, and he sure your heart is hammering in your chest.

❧ Not to mention the nervous sweats and your clear struggle to put a sentence together or speaking far too fast to keep up with and getting tongue tied.

❧ He would've noticed that this all seems to stem from either your change in routine or doing something new.

❧ At first Legolas isn't sure how to handle it, it's all so new to him seeing as he doesn't struggle with anxiety, but that doesn't mean he's apathetic to what you are going through.

❧ He is completely sympathetic with what you are going through and does his best by trying to be helpful.

❧ At first he won't really mention it to you, instead he will bring his concerns to a healer and about the best ways that he can help you work through your anxiety.

❧ But that doesn't mean that he won't talk to you about it either, if anything after he gets some more insight from the Healers about anxiety and what makes it tick, he will come and talk to you about it.

❧ He doesn't mind how detailed you get about dealing with anxiety and what your symptoms are the more specific you are with him, the better Legolas understands what is going on with you and how to help.

❧ That way the next time a new situation arises or a change to your routine is coming, he can help prepare you for it. Or try to help you manage your feelings.

❧ So the next time something new to you comes around, that Legolas happens to know about, he immediately dives in to tell you a few days in advance.

❧ That way you have time to prepare for the new thing mentally, he would hate to blind side you and make your Anxiety even worse than he knows it can be when something new happens.

❧ When the day comes, Legolas is consistently checking on you verbally and observantly.

❧ He looks for any cues that might tick off that you are feeling anxious about the new thing and change in routine.

❧ You'll find that if you are comfortable with touch, that he'll off you a hug or to hold your hand.

❧ Legolas also encourages you to be able to talk about your feelings of anxiety and what is causing them, he has you walk him through it step by step hoping to take a large weight off your shoulders.

❧ Legolas listens attentively and validates your feelings about your anxiety, understanding that it is irrational but how you feel is still valid.

❧ He is very supportive and helps you through the things that make you anxious about your change/new experience with reassurance that everything is going to be okay and that he's right there with you through the whole thing.

❧ Should things get so bad that you are having a panic attack, Legolas finds a quiet place to take you and have you sit down.

❧ Either he will offer you a nice pressure filled hug, while talking you down and reassuring you while you have your panic attack.

❧ Or he will hold your hands and walks you through several breathing exercises, calming going over them with you and praising you for doing such a good job of following instructions.

❧ He will sit with you for a long time until everything has subsided and he won't rush you to leave this quiet place to venture out to the change/new thing until you tell him you are ready.

❧ All in all, Legolas is really supportive and will do anything he can to make sure that you are comfortable and have good support through your toughest days in dealing with anxiety.

❧ No matter how massive it may seem to you, Legolas will be there to help guide you through it.

* * *

Tags: @saviorsong @lilmelily @dicksoutformtl @fandomhoe101 @celebrimbor-telperinquar @red-riding @miriel-estelwen @ta-ka-shi-ma @nerdysimpy @thegirlwithoutaname87 @anunexpectedsideblog @spidergirla5 @eunoiaastralwings @eternalabysss @noldorinpainter

#Legolas #Legolas x Reader #Legolas Greenleaf #jrr tolkien #tolkien #the lord of the rings #lord of the rings #the hobbit #lotr #the fellowship of the ring #tfotr #the two towers #ttt #the return of the king #trotk #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #imagines #one shot #one shots #headcanon #headcanons #mental health awareness #mental health awareness month #anxiety

[sasukeuchihaisreallycool]

Testosterone Things No One Told Me About

Disclaimer: these are not universal experiences. Everyone has different bodily changes that happen at different paces and different amounts. These are just the things I've experienced so far

Hi I'm an FTM trans man I've been doing HTR for about 5 years now so I thought I'd impart some fun facts about it I've learned.

1. Male patterned balding. I am 24 and my hair is thinning at quite a rapid pace. It was very thick when I first started and at this point I'm probably gonna be bald on the top of my head by the time I'm 30. I have a great beard though so that's cool.

2. HORNY. Testosterone increases your sex drive, you will most likely be uncomfortably horny all the time for the first half a year if not more. 24 hours after I do my shot I also feel an increased sex drive as well and I'm asexual so that was shocking to me in the beginning.

3. Puberty #2 Electric Boogaloo. You will basically be going through a second puberty when you start and your body gets used to the changes. I'm talking acne, oily skin, greasy hair, sweating, body odor, the whole nine yards. I felt like shit about myself and wondered if I made a mistake for a long time while I was going through this first stretch, it'll be okay just relax it'll pass in time. I feel great now.

4. Weight Gain. Your body is redistributing fat to different areas, I gained about 20-30 pounds. I eat fairly healthy and I exercise regularly and it still happened so don't worry that's normal.

5. Voice Change. You will sound like a 14 year old boy and your voice will crack a lot. I am a singer so this was a very difficult thing for me to deal with. This also made me feel like shit and depressed because I sang horribly during that time period, it'll pass and you can learn to sing in a lower key don't give up you can retrain yourself!

6. Anger. I started getting a lot angrier and irritated more easily, I still do at times. Again 24 hours after my shot it's not uncommon for me to be more easily frustrated and get pissed off at stupid things. This does not make you a bad person or an "evil violent man" You can deal with these new feelings in constructive healthy non violent ways. I've never been a particularly angry person so this was frightening to me at first and I felt guilty for having those feelings.

7. Shots. I do the injection into my tummy fat method, I started doing it in the thigh and then switched. I do self inject, I used to be TERRIFIED of shots, I still get some anxiety over it at times. It took me a long time and many visits to Planned Parenthood to be able to do it myself. It can be done with persistence and bravery! If it helps here's my plan of action I did to overcome my fear:

Step 1. Watch YouTube videos of people injecting themselves so start desensitizing yourself to it.

Step 2. Go to the doctor, have them do it, but watch when they do.

Step 3. Have the doctor do it, but put your hand on theirs while they are.

Step 4. Have the doctor do it but put your hand on theirs and push the plunger in yourself.

Step 5. Hold the needle yourself this time and have the doctor put their hand over yours to help you push the needle into your skin. This step is the hardest step.

Step 6. Go to the doctor and have them stand by to assist you while you attempt to do it on your own. So in case you can't get yourself to do it they're there to help/do it for you.

This is what worked for me, there's non-injection methods as well people do so don't fret if you're not up for that. Take as much time as you need on these steps before moving on to the next one. There's no rush you'll get it when you get it.

8. Male Privilege. If you pass very well as I do strangers will start thinking you're a cis male which is great, but you will also start being treated differently in public. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. I've ended up becoming the one my female friends would ask to walk them home at night because they wanted a man with them to deter predators from approaching them. And vice versa I've also become aware that I now can make women uncomfortable when I'm walking behind them at night as well. Once again this does not make you an "Evil Man" just be aware of the people around you. Use your newfound privilege to your advantage and stick up for your female/nonbinary/non passing friends :)

9. Body Hair. You get a lot more body hair. I was always a hairy person, I had no idea how much more I'd get but it was a lot. Your butt, back, and chest are gonna get hairy. It's very annoying especially if you're someone who enjoys being shaved.

10. Personal Smell. This is a weird one, but your smell changes. It's not a bad smell you just... Smell like a man now. I thought I stank or something cause like I said puberty 2 was rough but no matter how many showers you take the man smell does not go away. You get used to it I don't even notice now, no one ever did notice except for me to begin with.

I hope this was helpful, I'll add more if I think of anything. Enjoy your transition it's got it's pros and cons, but it's worth it and you're not making a mistake I promise.

#ftm #transgender #htr #trans #trans problems #trans pride #testosterone