#'???' because of how she came to trust this sera and how this sera came through time and time again for both her and spock | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pikaturtle · 2 months

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Ok, whatever, I am completely new to Helluva/Hazbin universe. I have done SOME research. And read some fanfictions and everyone is different.

Alright, fine, I am just going to post the prologue of what I have. Basically more or less following the actual series, I might stray from it as I go and be my 'own' story.

But I created this OC weeks back, and basically trying to work the character out, and somethings I noticed that wasn't part of the Hazbin Universe. And that's Guardian Angels. I was a bit surprised those weren't listed, but maybe sometime in the future?

I just went with it. It might not even be good, but here it is.

Main character is my OC: A Guardin Angel, that is a cat(I love cats so yeah). They are an intersex being, and non-binary. Demisexual. They don't care for pronouns, they answer to all. They were 'created' after the whole thing with Lucifer in the series. And there is information in the prologue. So I dont want to repeat everything. ^^;

I am still new to all sexualities and pronouns and I do want to respect everyone and I apologize in advance if something is wrong or had misinformation.

But anyway this story is basically adding in my character into the story. I am keeping Charlie single in this when it comes to 'present' day. I am still working things out how I want to write this story.

Again, I am completely new to this, so this is probably crap. But I want to post it, because then it just sits in my OneDrive and probably never continue it and have it forgotten.

But let's see if people are interested. I don't expect much, I have been on Tumblr for a bit but hadn't really posted because I am more active on DeviantArt.

So, I guess I am ready to face judgement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Council loomed over Lucifer as he pleaded for his daughter.

“Just please, there has to be someone you can send!” He yelled desperately. “I know I have not right, but Charlie is innocent in all of this! I just need help to protect her!”

Sera, headmaster, sighed and rubbed her temples. Letting the words sink in. She was slightly annoyed being bothered by the fallen angel. However, it had been centuries since she even last saw him. She just wanted him to leave. She stood from her chair.

“Give me a few moments to discuss this with the head guardian.” She turned and headed out, gesturing the Angel next her. “Come Matthew.”

He got up and looked at Lucifer for a second then followed Sera to the hallway. Once the door shut, she turned to Matthew. “What do you think? These are your Angels. Do you trust him? Do you even have one available?”

Matthew pondered for a moment, only one came to mind that hadn’t been assigned in years. “I mean, if it’s to protect an innocent child. I don’t have a problem.”

“They would be bound to her until, if she evens, perishes. Which will be an eternity. I know none of us will want to go down there to stay even a second.”

“They can be given power to help them. Lucifer would be able to help them on that.” Matthew said.

Sera raised an eyebrow, “Do you have someone in mind?”

Matthew swallowed. There was one angel who hadn’t been given a human for years. And before their last human, they hadn’t been assigned in centuries. However, they had been through excessive training. And has been able to become stronger. Which was sad that they failed the last human. He believed in them, unlike everyone else. There was maybe a few others who got along with them, however, the poor angel was mainly isolated from others. He took a deep breath, his voice trembled a bit. “There is one…She has been available for years. Even centuries and well, I know he-”

“I know who exactly you are talking about.” Sera cut him off. She thought tot a moment, then smiled. “Of course! She will be perfect!”

Matthew paled, he was protective to all of his guardian angels. He wanted to say something but Sera already opened a portal and briefly he saw the angel talking to her friend. They both paused as the portal was opened and Sera reached out for the cat angel and pulled her in. Her friend and her protested but the portal cut off her friend.

“Hey, what’s the big deal?!” The angel squirmed in Sera’s hand. She had her by the collar. “I was in the middle of a conversation!”

“Serity.” Sera smiled at the cat angel.

Serity stopped squirming and locked eyes to Sera. Serity was a small white cat angel. She did have a human form, but she preferred to be a cat. She had black tip ears, black tip tail, and black spots around her eyes. She also had a black ring around her next that was her fur and not a collar. She also had gray wings, that were actually one of the more prettier side. She also had a circle shape on her belly, that had little white dots on it. Which actually looked like a chocolate chip cookie. And she had one black circle on her both her sides. Matthew hadn’t seen her human form in centuries, he actually forgot what she looked like.

Sera began to explain. “Congratulations! You are now assigned to be a Guardian Angel!”

Serity blinked in shock. “wh-what? But I thought-What?! Now?!”

“Yes, I apologize for the sudden outburst, but it is a timely matter. I’ll be sure to tell your friends the situation. But we must make haste.” She moved Serity under her right arm, holding her as Seity was too shock to even mutter a word. “I would love for Lucifer to leave already.”

“Wait-What?!” Serity tried protesting.

Sera gestured Matthew to follow. He tried sending a sympathy glance at Serity, but she was too busy trying to argue with Sera but Sera ignored her. The door opened and slammed, which Serity froze and stopped talking. Her heart was pounding. Sera went back to her chair, but didn’t sit down, instead she grabbed Serity by the collar and hung her over the edge, showing her to everyone.

“Here you go Lucifer!” Her voice echoed. “This is Serity. She’s one of our oldest members and has been through excessive training. She would be a great guardian for your daughter.”

Serity felt Sera’s grip loosing and she started flapping her wings. She stared back at Sera and Matthew. Matthew was ashamed, and wanted to apologize for doing this to her, but he couldn’t say anything. Sera gestured Serity to Lucifer. Serity was terrified. This was the fallen angel from the stories of Adam, Lilith, and Eve. She never met him personally. But he was talked about and mostly wasn’t good things. She swallowed and glided down to him. Lucifer actually reached out his hands to her when she got close enough. Once she was in reach, he gripped her arms and pulled her closer. They stared at each other for a moment. Which Serity noticed that, he didn’t look like anything she imagined. She expected a scary evil big boss. But the angel in front of her, looked sadden within his eyes that was surprised by her. He had red circles on his cheeks and too be honest, he smelled really good. Like apple cider. Serity’s heart was still pounding but she relaxed a little. She didn’t even know what to say to him.

But even if she tried, Sera spoke again. “Now, you have what you want and I won’t ask anything in return. Though I do expect you to take care of her. Since she’ll be living with your daughter for eternity.”

Serity felt like her heart stop. (Eternity?!)

Lucifer held Serity more gently in his arms, like holding a baby. And he looked up at Sera. “Thank you. I guess I’ll be heading out.”

“Please.” Sera sighed.

Lucifer bowed in respect and got his cane that had an apple at the tip. And summoned a portal. Serity stared in shock, seeing the actual Hell that was in front if her. However, it did look like a living room but she could see through the windows. Lucifer went through the portal and as he did, Serity colors swapped. Her white turned to black and her black turned to white. Her halo disappeared and fused into her fur on her head. So, she now had a white ring on her forehead. Her wings turned to a darker shade of gray, almost black.

Lucifer sighed in defeat and the portal closed. “I’m sorry to be bringing you here, but my wife, Lilith disappeared. After months of searching, i- I just needed help protecting my daughter. We’re usually safe during extermination day, but she’s been talking about this new dream of a hotel for sinners. And…and I don’t want something happening to her.”

Serity blinked at him. Surprised by how soothing his voice was. He was sad and tears were appearing in his eyes. She really wasn’t expecting this. Her mind and heart was racing.

Lucifer then cleared his throat and pulled her to look at her, held her under her arms again. “Um, so, I am Lucifer Morningstar. In case that wasn’t clear.” He chuckled nervously, trying to lighten the mood. “And you’re Serity?”

Serity swallowed. She didn’t like using that name. She practically forgot it. She took a deep breath and spoke. “Um..yeah,” her voice was trembling, “call me Cookie, please. I don’t go by that name anymore.”

Lucifer blinked surprisingly. It looked like he was going to say something but his eyes went to her belly. Which then he had the ‘ah ha’ face. “I see.” He smiled warmly, which calmed her a bit. “Well, Cookie, I guess we should go over somethings and then have you meet my daughter.”

He set her down on a couch, Cookie couldn’t help but stare out the window. Seeing the red and she could feel the darkness of the world she was now in.

“I know, I know.” Lucifer noticed her fear in her eyes. “Again, I am sorry about this. But I can give you some power to help you while you’re here. You’re powers….if you don’t mind me asking, how do they work? I never met a guardian angel before and just know some basics.”

Cookie finally looked away from the window and was about to speak, but then she noticed something behind and around them. Rubber ducks. In pictures and even little ones just being around. On the tables and bookshelves. She blinked surprised. She was literally speechless.

Lucifer seem to notice her eyes shifted and he followed her stare and realized what she was shocked about

“Oh,” he chuckled nervously, “yeah if it isn’t obvious, I love ducks.” He cleared his throat and sat down in a chair, waiting patiently for Cookie to speak.

Cookie finally shook her head after several minutes and glanced at Lucifer. She cleared her throat, feeling like she couldn’t speak. He mouth felt dry. She was going to say something when Lucifer shot up out of his chair.

“Oh how rude of me! I am sorry!” Lucifer apologized and Cookie was a bit confused. “Did you want anything to drink? I can get you something. Tea, water, apple juice, I have plenty of that.” He laughed.

Cookie just nodded, “Ye-yeah, water would be nice. And…coffee to be honest…”

“Sure thing!” He made a weird pose, like he was going to perform, but he headed to the kitchen.

Cookie searched again and looked at the photos more closely. Seeing Lucifer with his wife and a little child. There were more pictures of his child over the years. Lilith was in a few, but it was mostly of his daughter. (He seems to really care about her…. I wonder what she’s like….)

After like possibly 10 minutes, Lucifer came back with a tray that had glasses and a coffee cup. He set it down on the coffee table in front of the couch. Cookie sighed, knowing she had to change her form a bit. She stood on her four paws and shook herself. She turned her form to more human like, but she still was a cat. Anamorphic cat. She opened her eyes, she had her height around Lucifer’s. She normally didn’t have clothes because of her fur, which was very fluffy. But she was in a different realm and she wasn’t fully sure how this realm worked. So she had a red t-shirt and gray yoga pants. She reached for the coffee cup and took a sip.

“Amazing. So, you’re a cat angel?” Lucifer asked.

Cookie swallowed. “Sorta. I was more human when I was first created but turned myself to a cat after a few years after my creation.” She shrugged. “I just like cats. So why not be one.”

“Hey, whatever floats your boat.” Lucifer said casually. “Now, can you explain, please?”

After taking another drink of her coffee, she set the cup down and cleared her throat. “Right. Well, um…. I guess I’ll explain what guardian angels can do. But the rules, I am assuming will be different here since your daughter isn’t human.” Lucifer just nodded in response. “Right, normally we don’t show ourselves to humans. We are assigned to humans. How, I don’t know. I don’t know which or if all humans get one. I don’t think every human gets one, since not every human is worthy if I am honest. But my powers are, I guess random, I mean I can do many things. I know magic I guess you call it. And I can shape shift. We sometimes turn into animals to protect humans and live along side them. And well, we can’t really intervene the humans lives. We can try to have them make choices, like you know have them lose their keys or make a noise to have them change their minds if they are headed to danger. Which sometimes doesn’t even work. My last human was killed because he wouldn’t listen to the noises I was making.” She looked down at her coffee cup and circled the rim of it with a finger. “I tried to get him to look but he was too occupied doing a crime than his own life.” She shook her head, not wanting to talk about it. Lucifer didn’t ask her to elaborate, just nodded in understanding. “I do have a third eye.” She pointed at her forehead. “Well, we all do, we can see memories, dreams, wants, desires, thoughts, and emotions of our person. So we have a deeper understanding. We also only protect and not fight. Ya know, some of your hellborns haunt some humans, so we do protect humans from them, but we don’t attack unless it’s self defense. We mainly just protect.”

Lucifer groaned in annoyance, slapping his face, “I apologize for that. I have little to no control on the hellborns. They’re like humans, they do whatever. I try to do my best to make sure there’s some punishment but when you have so many, it’s kinda just useless.”

Cookie nodded. “Yeah, I’ve lived with humans, so I get what you mean.”

“What else can you do? Do you have any skills?”

Cookie perked up a bit. “Yes, I can speak many languages, even like ancient ones. I also can play, if not all instruments. I know pretty much everything within human history. I can cook, clean, draw, play video games, I can mimic all voices I hear, and some other skills I don’t even use.”

Lucifer blinked in shock, “Wow, that’s amazing…”

“Well you’re about as old as me, but older. When you live as long as we have, you get bored and just start doing random stuff.” Cookie picked up her cup of coffee and drank the rest of it. She set it down, and swallowed. “I don’t know how much Sera told you about me. But in earlier years of humans creation, I was more active, however, when the dark ages came along, I lost….many humans. And each one just…” She paused and looked at her paws. “Just…losing a kid, watching them suffer in front of you… I started declining mentally. And finally they just stopped assigning me because I couldn’t focus as well as I should have been. So for centuries, I was under excessive training. But they obviously don’t take up my whole life. So I had to find stuff to do.” She shook her head in defeat and she glanced at the ground. “I was given another human, like recently, like back in the 1900s or something and that was the last human I had. He didn’t even make it to his 30s.” Cookie held back tears, not wanting to go back to that. “After that, they hadn’t sent me out again. I am not sure why though. I didn’t even do anything wrong. I am not really well liked if I am honest. I only have like five friends, or allies.”

“I am sorry…” Lucifer bit his lip, it looked like he was holding back tears as well.

Cookie shook herself again and sat up more straight. “I do have keen hearing and sharp eye sight and heighten sense of smell. I do know how to fight, but I prefer not to. I don’t like fighting, but push my patience and well, you can face the wrath.” She grabbed the cup of water and took a drink. “Anything else you want to know?”

Lucifer stared at her and scratched his chin in thought. But nothing came to his mind. “I think you answered everything. Though I guess I should share my power with you. So you can move more freely. Have you ever done blood oaths?”

Cookie blinked in shock. “Erm…yes, I mean no, I never done them. I have heard of them.”

Lucifer stood up and walked up to Cookie and stood in front of her. “Well, then we better get started.”

He took off his glove and using his claw to slice his palm. He still had angel blood. Which surprised Cookie. She swallowed. She didn’t like blood. Funnily enough, she loved true crime but some details she rather not hear or imagine. She shakenly got a claw and sliced a cut on her paw. It was a bit weak as she was nervous. She didn’t like harming herself, she didn’t even like getting hurt. Though blood oozed out of the cut and Lucifer held out his hand. She reached out and took his hand. There was a jolt of power surging through her. It didn’t hurt but it certainly wasn’t pleasant. Lucifer tighten his grip as the magic wrapped around them. Glowing yellow colors swirled around them. Then finally drained to their hands. And disappeared into their cuts and instantly healing them. Lucifer took back his hand and put his glove back on. Cookie rubbed her paw with her other paw. She could feel something pulsing in her veins. She didn’t like it. It felt weird. She hissed a little.

Lucifer looked at the time and then conjured his staff and started doing some magic. Which Cookie wasn’t paying attention until a cell phone appeared in front of her. A black smartphone. She glanced at Lucifer.

“I think you’ll need this. Everyone has a phone now. And in case you get separated, then at least you can contact help.”

She took the phone and turned it on. She had one back in heaven, but because she was pulled away, she actually dropped hers. She knows it was fine, but she needed to get the information. Luckily there was the ‘Cloud’ that had her saved information and other things.

She smiled slightly and glanced up at Lucifer. “Thank you. Which reminds me also, we are literally stuck to our person. We can reach them no matter what. So like, say we did get separated and she’s like in the human world, I can still reach her. I can go through these realms, but obviously we don’t come here. I actually thought we were blocked. But here I am.”

“Fascinating.” Lucifer nodded. Then he clapped his hands which made Cookie flinch since the noise surprised her. “Well, come along. I think Charlie is still here. She should be in her room.”

He waved his hand to have Cookie to follow. She shrunk down to her cat size, having the phone disappear to a space she could call it back. She ran up to Lucifer and climbs up him to his shoulder. He was surprised but he just smiled and started heading down a hallway. There were even more pictures and more rubber ducks around. Then she heard voices. Her ears perked to the noise and as they approached a door, she heard two voices.

“Oh, crap, forgot her friend was here.” Lucifer stopped himself.

Something came to her mind. “I think it’s best that the less people know that I am angel, the better.”

“Oh for sure!” Lucifer agreed. “It could be dangerous for you if others knew. Charlie can know, right? Or does that need to be a secret from her?”

“Considering I am stuck with her for all eternity, I don’t mind her knowing.” Cookie scoffed. “Probably a good idea to have her know.”

Lucifer nodded and straightened up, then knocked on the door with his free hand.

The voices stopped and Cookie heard footsteps and the door opened. An almost copy of Lucifer appeared in the doorway. Her hair was long and blonde. Her eyes were large and she was taller than Lucifer. She also had the red circles on her cheeks. Which hers looked pinchable.

“Hey, dad, what’s up?” Her voice was beautiful to Cookie. Soft and sweet. She could tell she had an amazing voice for singing.

“Hey, Char Char,” Lucifer said nervously, “I need to talk to you. Mind coming out?” He glanced back to another demon that was sitting on the floor. She looked like she was some sort of bird. “Octavia, you don’t mind, right? I won’t be long.”

Octavia nodded and waved them to go.

Charlie noticed Cookie but didn’t say anything until they were in another room, that looked like an office.

“Dad, really? You got a cat?” She asked as Lucifer shut the door.

“Actually,” he got a hold of Cookie and held her out to Charlie. “This is your cat. Or should I say, Guardian Angel.”

Charlie looked slightly annoyed, “Dad really, I don’t nee-wait what?” She stopped and stared at both of them. “Guardian Angel? What do you mean?”

Lucifer held Cookie with one hand. “Um…well with your….mother gone, I asked for some…extra precautions to keep you safe. And asked the council for a guardian. So then they can be with you everywhere and you can be protected.”

Charlie didn’t say a word and just stared at Cookie. Not knowing what to say. But eventually she reached out her hands and Lucifer smiled and handed Charlie the cat angel. Charlie locked eyes with Cookie. Cookie, instinctively touched noses with Charlie and there was a moment where Cookie’s third eye open. They both frozen as Cookie’s two eyes closed and magic wrapped into Charlie’s mind. Cookie felt the link snap into place and she began learning everything about Charlie. Her wants, desires, needs, likes and dislikes. It only lasted a few seconds and Charlie nearly lost her grip to Cookie when Cookie opened her main eyes and closed her third.

Charlie shook her head. “What was that?” She had one hand on her head.

“I was just getting to know you.” Cookie answered.

Which had Charlie freeze for a moment and stare at the cat. “Did you just-”

“Hey, just because I am a cat, doesn’t me I sound like one!” Cookie snapped but then rolled her eyes. “Okay, I do, but I can talk.”

Charlie was in shock, her mouth was open and her eyes were wide.

Cookie started to purr, usually it helps. “Call me Cookie.” She smiled.

Charlie blinked a few times, she looked at her dad and he just shrugged with a smile. Charlie looked back at Cookie. “Well, I am Charlie Morningstar, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Now Charlie,” Lucifer put his arm around Charlie’s shoulder, “this little one will have to be a secret. Who knows what the demons out there will do if they find out an angel is living here. She does have some of my power I transferred to her, so she should be fine in the long run but it would be best to not let that slip. Alright?”

Charlie nodded. “I understand.”

“Good! Now I’ll let you go back to your room and I’ll see you for dinner?” Lucifer went to the door and opened it for her.

“Yeah,” Charlie moved Cookie to a better position to hold her, laying across her arm and petting her with her other hand, “I’ll see you at dinner.” She smiled at him and walked out of the room.

They headed in different directions and Charlie walked to her room. Meeting up with her friend to meet her new one.

7 Years later…

Cookie stretched next to Charlie as she was fiddling with her phone sitting against the wall, her legs crossed. She had the call for her mother. Which had been missing for 7 years. Charlie would leave messages, hoping her mother would just answer for once. She hadn’t talked to her father for months.

When Charlie started the Happy Hotel, she sort of lost contact with her father. She hardly called him. She told him about her plans for the hotel and it seemed like he didn’t really support the idea. So, more or less they had a fall out. Cookie nuzzled Charlie’s knee, and Charlie got one hand and petted Cookies head.

Through the 7 years living in this horrible place, Cookie’s life hadn’t been too bad. She managed to get back into contact with her old friend, but she was busy with her work. So they barely talked. Still it was nice to get back in contact. Though she finally managed to let Charlie know about her background a bit. Once her friend, Octavia, left, Cookie explained that they were an intersex being and was a non-binary person. They really didn’t care what they were called and went with all pronouns. They also explained that to Lucifer later. With everything happening to them at that time, they didn’t worry about it. Besides, they didn’t really care what their pronouns were, he, she, they, it, they just didn’t care in the long run. They were technically both genders, which was very rare thing to happen. So, just whoever thought they were, they just stuck with it. If someone called them he, they would refer to them as a male, and same with female. Cookie also got a bit more braver, when protecting Charlie. They still didn’t like to resort to violence, but if someone laid a hand on Charlie, they weren’t afraid to scratch whoever. They always were with Charlie, on her shoulder mostly. They wrapped themselves around her neck like a scarf. So, sometimes people didn’t even know they were there. Which was a great way to stop others from hurting Charlie. They just came back from a news show, and picked up a client on the way back to the hotel. To say the meeting went bad was an understatement. Cookie also picked a fight with that news host, Killjoy. They did managed to get a few scratched on her. But in the end, Charlie was seen as a joke and Charlie was depressed about it. It had been rough these past few years since opening the hotel. Cookie tried their best to cheer her up and keep her going.

Charlie sighed, and pressed the call button. It went to voice mail, like always. As Charlie was speaking, Cookie heard some noises nearby. Like footsteps, but it was probably just some demon walking by. So they just pushed the worry aside. Charlie then slumped back on the ground and cried a bit. Cookie sat up and nuzzled her cheek. Charlie grabbed a hold of Cookie and held them. Cookie just purred to sooth her. They weren’t sure how long they sat there, but finally Charlie got up and just stared out to the city.

“Charlie,” Cookie jumped onto the railing, as Charlie was leaning on it. Watching her city. “Hey, I think you’re doing fine. Ignore that literal kill joy. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Everyone giving you a hard time, just doesn’t have hope.” Charlie didn’t respond and hid her face in her arms. Cookie bit her lip. And tried to think. She glanced at the clock tower where the countdown was for the next extermination day. 364 days left. Cookie stared up at the sky, seeing the heaven. Their claws flexed, scrapping the metal bars.

Cookie let out a long sigh. “Look, Charlie. I have a friend who might be able to get into contact with the leader of the exterminators. Maybe talking to them, you can tell your idea and get somewhere.”

Charlie didn’t say anything but looked at Cookie, with her eyes filled with tears. She sniffles and wiped her eyes. “You can do that?”

“I can’t guarantee anything, but she is popular in heaven so she might be able to get someone down here.” Cookie explained. “I’ll text her now actually. I think she’s free. But she will eventually respond when her human is asleep.”

Cookie had their phone appear and they texted their friend. There wasn’t an immediate response, so they just had their phone disappear again. They will hear it if they get a response.

Charlie sighed, with a smile, “Thank you. I am glad you believe in me.”

“Always.” Cookie grinned and jumped down from the railing. “Let’s get inside, I still find it weird it can get cold down here.”

Cookie really did believe in Charlie’s redemption idea. Though it has NEVER been proven, doesn’t make it impossible. One would think it would be too late, but if angels can fall, why can’t demons rise as an angel? Be able to reunite with family and friends. Cookie does believe people can change but only if they are willing to. Not everyone has the heart to change and become something better. Still, this was Hell, and most demons, if not all, were selfish and downright evil. Though most Hellborns weren’t that evil. Sure, they did bad things but they seemed to be in more control of their actions than Sinners. Hellborns could roam freely throughout Hell and lived like humans on Earth. Sinners, only lived in the Pride Ring. They were still ‘human’ but had their urges and was said to be hard to ignore them. Though Cookie has seen some Overlords, and they didn’t seem too bad. But they were more powerful so they must have more control than normal Sinners. Which was a hard task to do. Or else there would be Overlords everywhere. Still, it was a dangerous place, especially for a Princess. When Cookie is a bigger size, they tend to intimate everyone that dares comes near Charlie.

Charlie just let out a small giggle and they head inside. They went to the lobby, where Vaggie and Angel were. Vaggie was a ‘demon’ with her left eye taken out. Cookie knew from day one she was an exterminator, but obviously she was different, why else would she be here left behind and wounded. Angel Dust, was obviously not an actual angel, but some spider like demon. He walked on two legs and had three sets of arms. Though he mostly kept 2 sets out. Rarely using his third set. He had a blacken eye on his left eye. He also had a chest, that was made of fur which looked like he had boobs. He was also a porn star and the only resident in the hotel. They hotel wasn’t all that pleasant, but Cookie did their best to have the place cleaned with their magic. But it was still empty.

Charlie hugged herself and Cookie wish they could cheer her up. But they didn’t have time to think when the someone knocked at the door. Charlie was confused but headed to the front door, letting the others know she got it. Cookie followed, jumping onto her shoulder. She opened it and there stood a red demon, with antlers and a staff.

“Hell-“

Charlie shut the door and was confused for a moment. “Did…I just see that?”

Cookie just nodded and Charlie opened the door again.

“Lo!”

She shut the door again and turned around. “Uhhh hey Vaggie?”

“What?” Vaggie answered sounded slightly annoyed.

Charlie walked down to where they were sitting. Her face was in shock. “Um…the Radio Demon is at the front door?”

“What?!”

“Who?” Angel asked.

“Wait, that’s the Radio Demon?” Cookie asked and glanced back at the door. “I actually thought he would look like a radio like Vox is a TV.”

“What do I do?” Charlie asked.

“Well don’t let him in!” Vaggie told her.

Once the door opened again and the Radio Demon introduced himself and the journey that was set had changed.

Charlie hesitated and knew she had to answer.

#hazbin hotel #first story #charlie morningstar #alastor #vaggie #angel dust #helluva boss #fanfiction #hazbin husker #nifty #lucifer morningstar #sera hazbin hotel #random story #don't mind me #story #long post

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rewatching-sam-and-dean · 5 months

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The Schrödinger's SPN Revival

So, recently there’s been a lot of talk on here and twitter because a couple articles have been published citing Jared and Jensen (or just Jensen in one POS article) mentioning discussing possibilities for a revival. Does this make it any more likely to happen or closer to being realized? I don’t know, but the guys have been mentioning it off and on for years already, so I’m not sure it’s any more likely now than it ever was. Also, with networks and the whole industry in seeming disarray, even if J2 want to get a revival going, I’m not sure it will happen.

But, let’s speculate anyway. Shall we?

(I CANOT get the link to work for some reason!!)

My thoughts on this, under the cut.

I’m no authority on anything in the TV industry, but I have watched our little show a lot, so I have thoughts. Let’s take look at each person on this poll.

Kripke - Obviously, he understands Sam and Dean. He created them after all. But, would I trust him with the revival? Well, judging by The Boys, he seems more focused on shock value than tight storytelling these days, so I’m not sure I would want to see an SPN on a streamer that he ran. It might become a case of all fireworks and little to no heart. Also, if he had ended the series in Season 5, both Sam and Dean would have been trapped in the cage forever. Not exactly a happy ending. Still, is he capable of manning a revival snd doing a decent job? Yes. Would I totally trust him with it? Maybe. Maybe not. Do I think he even has time to do it? Not really.

Jensen - Come on, people! If you want him to reprise his role as Dean, then he isn’t going to be the showrunner. Also, he’s an actor, not a writer, so it’s not even in his wheelhouse. So, no. This wouldn’t be a good idea. And after The Winchesters, I think it’s extremely unlikely that he’d be put at the helm in this way. The only upside to Jensen being a show runner? We know damn well Destiel would be ignored as vigorously as it deserves.

Robbie Thompson - Exhibit One: The Winchesters. So, no. Also, while he has written some episodes that I like of SPN, he was always trying to make the show something it wasn’t, whether it was Fairytale time with Charlie or trying to shoehorn romance into a platonic brother love story, he’s shown that he shouldn’t be trusted with the OG show in a position of power.

Sera Gamble - Season 6 while having some absolute bangers, was also a bit of a mess in some ways. And Season 7 was more so. How much of this was due to Gamble hersel and how much was due to Singer tugging at the reins, I don’t know. She is a proven showrunner, so I believe she could do it. She actually understands and enjoys Sam, so that would be a huge relief for those of us who actually care about Sam and want to see him get his due on screen. Also, she has never written Dean badly from my observations, despite certain past claims by “some people” on women not writing male dialogue well. In a lot of ways, I think she could be a good choice. But, would she be interested even? I have no clue.

Andrew Dabb - NEXT!!

Jeremy Carver - For reasons relating to Season 11, I would like to see him helm a revival. He can clearly follow through with a connected and coherent arc. However, for reasons relating to Season 8, where he had characters do a few hugely out of character things for the story’s sake? No. For Season 10 snd the bore thst it was for me personally (though that potentially had something to do with pressure that came from Singer)? No. All in all. I think he’d be capable of ruining a revival, but something tells me he isn’t particularly interested and they guys may not be that ready to chose him, either (purely just my gut).

Robert Singer - No. I believe he interfered with Gamble and Carver’s plans; I just don’t know to what extent. And worst of all, he did nothing to help steer Dabb away from the mess that was much of Seasons 12 to 15. Also, he’d probably bring Buck-Lemming with him. And can I just say a big, “Fuck no,” to that.

Again, all of this is just me rambling. I have no real idea how likely any of them would be to come back for a revival. And I also don’t know how much J2 would want any of them to run a revival, or whether they’d want to just get someone new who might be more likely to listen to their ideas. I don’t even know if J2 would have an easy time agreeing on who would make a good show runner from that list because I think they might not even agree on who they considered to be better writers, or be better candidates to showrunner. For example, I think Jared might be more enthusiastic about Gamble than Jensen would. And Jensen would probably welcome Singer more than Jared would. Again, I don’t know any of this for certain, but it just my impression based off of things they’ve said over the years.

If a revival happens what do I want?

First, it sounds to me like if there is one, J2 want to be a big part of it with Sam and Dean as central focus. This is what I would want. I watched the show for them. I stuck it out through the rough seasons for them. The only way I would watch a revival was if it heavily featured both Sam and Dean. Second, I think I would enjoy if they did a revival during the years (according to J2) between Episodes 19 snd 20. I would like this because it would make the likelihood of angel or demon interference minimal. And this would be the more likely scenario for us to get a more old-school creature hunting revival. We could still see Jody and co for those who care about that. There would be no need for Cas or Jack to show up, which I would prefer. Yet, it would be easy enough for them to make a brief appearance if J2 wanted to pander in that way. Also, I’m so very sick of Angel BS, and this seems like the best way to avoid it. Third, I could be interested in a bit of a prequel with John and the boys, if they could find a way to include J2 without making it convoluted and pointless. Finally, if they come back from heaven for some reason, I think it would be hard for the revival to have much in the way of stakes. And I really wouldn’t want a huge dose of Cas, which we’d potentially have in that case.

Anyway, here are my thoughts on the potential revival, thoughts thst no one asked for admittedly. Lol.

If anyone read this far, what are your thoughts on a revival. If it happens, who should run it and what would you want to see happen?

#supernatural #SPN Revival Speculation #my thoughts #if they have one what should it be about?#Revival talk #castiel critical #anti destiel #*edited for so so many typos*

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2ndprinceofdarkness · 1 month

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NEW SCENE!!

Act 4: Scene 1: What Do You Think Happens Next? [Heaven is peaceful. Colorful light filters into URIEL’s room through the stained-glass windows of his balcony doors, and lesser angels flutter about outside. The EXORCIST’s mask’s smile, absently watching URIEL. He’s been freaking out internally for the past several hours, and it’s beginning to show. URIEL sits at his desk. His Purple Book sits open, he scans the page. RAPHAEL is heard arguing offstage:] RAPHAEL O/S: Oh, for Heaven’s sake–would you just–move out of the way! … I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! I am going to give you maybe–three?--three more seconds until I smite you out of existence, you blasphemous fool–! [Thud. Clang. The door swings oven. RAPHAEL steps in.] RAPHAEL: Hey, it’s fine. [Beat.] How’re you holdin' up? URIEL: Uh– I’m okay. Really, I’m fine. RAPHAEL: Right. [RAPHAEL guides URIEL to the bed, catching a glimpse of the page URIEL is looking at.] URIEL: Is this it, the big one? RAPHAEL: The what? URIEL: What do you think happens next? How bad did I screw up, Raph? What the fuck happens now?? What–am I just gonna stay in here with the fuckin’ smiley–mask-wearing guys–watching everything? Why won't she let me go with Dad? –She just wants to “keep everyone safe,” total garbage… RAPHAEL: Restart. How do you feel? URIEL: Wha– I dunno. I’m pissed. She’s never had a good reason for any of this shit! And now–now–she’s just– [Beat.] RAPHAEL: Scared? URIEL: Yeah, that too. What the fuck do I do? [RAPHAEL looks away.] What? Raph? What–what do I do? Please. RAPHAEL: I can’t. URIEL: What? Please, Raph. RAPHAEL: I’m sorry Uri, that’s not why I came here. URIEL: Raph, please, you know! RAPHAEL: No, I won’t. I can’t lose you like I lost him. URIEL: So I have to live in here, forever? Because you’re lonely! What the fuck! I am not my Father. How’ve you all seemed to miss that? I have been up here as long as He has been down there, and you still don’t trust me. How’ve I not proven myself? I’ve done what's best for Heaven at every turn, and Sera still does this! And–you all knew! RAPHAEL: Just be quiet, please, Uri. URIEL: [Beat.] Get out. [RAPHAEL is caught off-guard, but does without another word, after a moment of hesitation. Once the door shuts, URIEL sits, deflating on his bed. The EXORCIST guards still watch from the balcony.]

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dyed-red · 1 year

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How do you think Sam felt about having sex with Ruby’s vessel? Did he need to rationalize that to himself or just the fact that Ruby was a demon?

this is such a delicious ask, i'm sorry it's taken me a while to get to.

there's just so much going on when it comes to sam/ruby. i draw a lot from comments from others on this, specifically those who are more familiar with the production and things the producers have said over the years in interviews. two things i've read as insights from the creative team (i think mostly from sera gamble?) are that:

it was important to sam that ruby's vessel was empty, otherwise that sex wouldn't/couldn't have happened (i think sera gamble had to fight for this or push its importance to her male co-creatives?)

sleeping with ruby was a form of "self harm" for sam.

I'm not sure where/how to find the original sources for those quotes as they're secondhand things I've read on tumblr about things said at cons and through other sources, but I fold both into my read on how Sam felt about having sex with Ruby and with her vessel.

So - to answer your actual question -

he felt like shit about it. and continued to feel like shit about it. and continued to do it. because he was in an incredibly self-destructive space and continued to be, and that self-hatred manifested in this particular way, for a variety of reasons.

And to unpack that a bit more...

1. sam has been possessed (by meg). he knows how it feels, and it Does Not Feel Good. his body was used to hurt people he cares about, to kill.

2. sam is consistently concerned about possessed vessels, where practicable. in the precinct seige during Jus In Bello, the fact that the "kill the virgin" spell could blast the demons out of the many possessed people outside is important to him. where dean reads the situation as killing an innocent woman, sam reads it as saving a few dozen people (at the cost of one, rather than the potential cost of many others if they try to shoot their way out). neither perspectives are singularly right but their different perspectives are informed by their different experiences, imo.

3. sam is saved by ruby wearing her 1.5 vessel and he promptly berates her for wearing some poor woman's skin, even if she saved his life, tells her that he doesn't want her help, and to get out of the car. he literally leaves her by the side of the road.

4. ruby 2.0 shows up with a certificate to verify that her chosen vessel is empty except for her. sam does not argue nor slam the door in her face, but asks for details. it's a major shift from one scene to the next in terms of how he is responding to her.

i'll also note that sam didn't complain about her 1.0 vessel's occupant during the time they were getting to know one another, which i think is interesting. my personal read is that sam considered that acceptable collateral damage in order to save dean from hell (what ruby promised him in season 3), and that after she failed to deliver, this compromise he'd made with himself over that collateral damage was no longer in play, nor was his patience for her.

(side note: i wonder if sam's greater tolerance of crowley, eventually, is because he came to learn or understand at some point that crowley's vessel is similarly empty?)

anyway, bringing all those points together, my read is that sam had to do a lot of self-rationalizing when it came to sleeping with ruby's vessel. sam is nothing if not pragmatic (if unhinged and insane) in his approach to dilemmas, so i think he could and did rationalize to himself that the body being empty means he's not hurting anyone by having sex with ruby in that form, but i don't think he'd fully convince himself.

so the discomfort and guilt and self-loathing would be... intense. she's a demon. demons killed his mother, his father, his brother. everyone he's ever loved. she saved his life. he doesn't trust her, he can't trust her. he can't afford not to trust her. he's got nothing left to lose. the only thing he has left is the part of himself that's stayed on the straight and narrow, that respects dean's dying wish, that refuses to turn into whatever his family (his brother) tried (died) to save him from becoming.

(sam himself lies to dean and says "it was practically your dying wish" that he not do exactly he's been doing (and more). sam knows there's betrayal here, and it's a betrayal that matters to him personally, or else he wouldn't hide and lie about it. he's never had any issue picking fights if/when he thinks he has the moral high ground.)

so... yeah. sleeping with ruby is an act of self-harm. he's obviously attracted to her vessel, and to her personality as ruby in that vessel, but that's not the key point. the key point is he hates himself for failing to save dean, for his brother dying because of him and being in hell because of him, and he's literally suicidal at this point in the narrative.

the fact that her vessel is empty is incredibly important, and i think a line he couldn't cross otherwise, but that doesn't mean he's okay with the fact that he's actually having sex with the body of someone who hasn't consented. and there's no doubt in my mind that somewhere in the back of his mind is both the fact that he's been possessed and has had his body used for things he was Not Okay with, and the fact that he's been dead (an empty vessel) and it's not like he would have been okey dokey with a demon possessing his corpse and sleeping with someone.

he knows it's a violation, no matter which way he slices it. and he uses that fact to hate himself a little more, so that the very act of sleeping with ruby is, in a sense, a way to punish himself for:

a) being attracted to her as a demon,

b) being attracted to her (helpless, innocent) vessel,

c) wanting connection because he's so goddamn lonely, and

d) being a monster/freak in the first place.

these are either things he's not supposed to feel because they're sinful wrong (attraction to a demon or vessel), or he deserves them (loneliness, feeling like a freak). this is what he's convinced himself of, and therefore how ruby acts as a both balm and escape (how it feels, how she soothes him) and punishment (how he deserves the influx of self-loathing and guilt and shame that comes from all that he is doing with her, from how this verifies all the worst parts of himself he was afraid of).

that being said -- as it goes i think he suppresses those feelings more and more because of what he gets from being with her, the connection and the blood and the high and the power and the sense of control over his destiny. but it's never that far from the surface, and we know how all that goes.

#oh my god this got both long and like... really unhappy about sam/ruby and his mental state during that arc #read at your own risk #sam/ruby #like that being said none of this is anti or crit #i goddamn love sam/ruby #but it is... deeply toxic #and very unhealthy for him #which is kind of the whole point #meta #my meta #a bit overwrought but i'm out of time to reread edit so here we are

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lupon · 2 years

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Door symbolism

There’s a lot of closing and opening of doors in Stranger Things, which yeah, duh, but I think there’s something more going on. The use of doors in media often represents the characters relationships. Letting someone in is a sign of love and openness to them. Forcing oneself through a door is a sign of disrespect and anger with the person. A locked door means someone is either trying to force the other to stay close emotionally, or is being shut out, depending on which side of the door they’re on. On the contrary, being in an unlocked closed door indicates closeness and a deep relationship with the other person. Think of the inside of a door being a characters heart or soul, and it’s interesting to see how it’s applied in the show.

El and Hopper

When Hopper first took El in, we see them entering the door to his cabin, then he quickly hides Sera's box, symbolizing him letting El into his heart, while hiding away his pain of losing Sera. Fixing up the inside of the cabin together was them metaphorically forming a bond with one another and finding love within each other. They’re both growing and healing from their past (Hopper losing Sera and El having an abusive father) and creating something new. Hopper now had a new daughter just as El now had a new father, so they had a new home.

He also uses a secret knock so he’s the only person she’d let him, he did this out of fear of her getting hurt or leaving him. This was also the point in the series when they were the most emotionally close we’ve seen them, regularly sharing breakfast, watching TV, playing games. He didn’t want her to see anyone else because he was scared of losing her, as he later says he needed her. He also expressed his fear of her growing up and changing in his letter. Hopper locking her in the cabin was him metaphorically keeping her close to him at all times, trying to stop her from growing up and possibly leaving him or getting hurt.

When Hopper came back late on Halloween, El at first refused to let him in the door, keeping it locked. And when she finally did let him in, she had brought the TV into her room and closed the door. She was angry at him, hence all the closed doors. Even the next day for breakfast, she got mad at him for lying and went into her room and slammed the door shut. Then later that day she unlocked the front door, directly disobeying Hopper, in search of Mike. When she came back, he let her in then slammed the door behind them. This connects to when Hopper later says how he would get so angry because he’s scared of losing her, again trying to force her to stay close with him. He’s locking her in because he loves her and wants to keep her close and safe. She immediately tried to go into her bedroom and close the door, but he forced it open before she could. After he grounded her from TV and Eggos, she began breaking things and slammed her door shut and locked it, officially shutting him out.

Even in the beginning of s3, she shut and locked her bedroom door when he saw her and Mike kissing. So then, what does the “3 inches” mean? Essentially, Hopper wants her to stay open with him. He wants to always have a place in her heart, which is why she kept it open all the time after she believed he died. She loved and missed him, always keeping him in her heart. When the reunited, he even walked in through the door she was keeping open 3 inches.

Mike and El

Door symbolism is first used in Mike and El’s relationship when El was going to use the bathroom and didn’t want Mike to close the door. Mike had been the first person to show genuine love and care for El, which was something she had never truly experienced before. Not wanting him to close the door was her not wanting him to shut her out, she wanted him to stay close, similar to Hopper. They later have a scene in the same bathroom, only with both of them inside and the door closed, indicating closeness and trust. This is when they had their almost-kiss. There’s also a moment where Mike locks El in the closet door to hide her from his mom. Queercoding aside, this is another Mike and Hopper parallel, hiding her and keeping her safe even if it upsets her.

Then in s2, El was looking at Mike and Max through the opposite side of a door, indicating that they weren’t on the same page, and that she was angered by what she saw. She felt closed off from Mike, and in response she tripped Max and ran. When they finally did reunite, she unlocked and walked in through a door, contrast from her previously running from him. In the beginning of s3, they’re making out in her bedroom, and she closes the door with him inside, again indicating closeness.

But then when Mike first lied to her over the phone, El walked into her room and closed the door when Hopper asked what was going on. She was hurt and confused, and that’s when she confided in Max. They went into her bedroom and closed the door, showing how El was listening closely to Max’s advice, and trusting what she was saying. El and Max spend a lot of the season being with each other behind closed doors, like when they were in El’s room having a sleepover, walking through the bus door together after El dumped Mike, or in the bathroom together cleaning up after the sauna test. This is showing how much Max means to El, and how they formed a very close bond with each other. The only other character El has spent more time with behind closed doors than Max is Hopper. Which makes the moment where he’s okay with Max and El being alone behind closed doors all the more impactful. Also worth noting is that Mike was on the opposite side of the door on during multiple of these instances. Mike walked in through and open door to talk to El at the pool, and she ended up leaving out of anger and disappointment. The door being open was a sign that although they were finally talking, they weren’t as emotionally close as they were before.

This is why it’s very important that El was on the opposite side of a closed door when Mike first said he loved her. They weren’t on the same page. After she heard what Mike said, she walked out the door and started showing interest in him again. She knocked the candy down for him and by the end of the season, they were officially back together. It’s interesting that their goodbye happened in an open door as well, and again ending with them not coming to an understanding and Mike being confused.

(Side note: Jancy’s goodbye being inside and open door was foreshadowing to their relationship becoming rocky in s4 due to Jonathan being afraid of leaving his family. Even in their conversation Nancy is coming up with fun ideas of how they could stay together, only for him to shoot them down to stay with his family)

Then there’s s4. The first time door symbolism is used is actually when Mike tried to look for El in the bathroom. The transition is what makes this so interesting, from Joyce leaving her house to get the money in order to get Hopper back, to Mike opening the bathroom door and calling El’s name. But El wasn’t in there, and he got kicked out by a bunch of other girls. This is symbolic of how Mike isn’t understanding El, or is looking in all the wrong places, connecting to when El later says Mike doesn’t understand what it’s like to be bullied like she has been. He doesn’t understand, not from lack of trying but because he just doesn’t get it. El had locked herself in the Rink O’ Mania storage closet, hiding from everyone, including Mike. This connects to her saying how she felt like everyone saw her as a monster, and that she didn’t belong anywhere. Even at dinner, she got up and left to go to her room after Mike made her angry, keeping the door open 3 inches for Hopper.

The next day when Mike goes to talk to her about what happened, the door is kept open, again signifying a lack of understanding and closeness with one another. It’s also symbolic of El’s heart missing Hopper, and how she now trusts what he says, which as she mentioned in another conversation they had behind an open door; “What if Hoppers right? If I only see you, and I’m a different species than you, than I should be with my species more” This is similar to how El feels like Mike sees her as a monster. Keep in mind that the last time her and Hopper had been together, she was under the impression that he didn’t like her relationship with Mike, so keeping the door open for him during this conversation is an interesting detail. The last time we see doors used in their relationship is at the very end of the season, when she closes the door (leaving 3 inches) in the cabin. This was when we learn that El hasn’t been talking to Mike, and has pretty much closed herself off from most people, most likely due to her feeling hopeless and guilty because of Max.

Mike and Will

Obviously there isn’t much use of doors in Mike and Will’s relationship in s1, since you know, Will was gone practically the entire season. Although it is cute how the party busts through the hospital door, finally being together again. However in s2, there’s a fair amount of door symbolism being used. In the very beginning we see Will wander out through the arcade door, then Mike coming out to get him and they walk back inside together. They were also behind a closed door with each other during the “crazy together” scene, and well as when Will opened up to him about seeing now-memories. Moments before that, Mike was knocking on the Byers door, anxious about Will’s wellbeing due to the lack of contact, as he was closed off from what was going on. Another interesting detail was the door being closed during the shed scene where they told stories to get through to Will, with most of the group being on the other side in the house. Only people who were emotionally close to Will were inside with him, Mike being one of those people.

Then in s3, Mike (and Lucas) ran out the door to buy El a gift, abandoning Will inside, showing how they’re both metaphorically and literally leaving him behind. The next day, Will started a D&D campaign that ended with him being humiliated. When he decided he’d had enough, he stormed out through the door, and Mike followed him, which is when they fight. Contrast from them previously being inside doors together when they were on the same page and understanding each other. Mike then chases Will and bangs on the Byers closed door, apologizing and pleading him to come out and talk with him. This moment parallels s2 when he felt like he was being closed off from Will. It can also be connected to s4 when Mike was looking for El in the wrong place, since Will also wasn’t where Mike was looking, the main difference being that Mike actually found Will.

They also contrast from Mike and El’s relationship with the door being open when Mike and El fought, versus the door being closed when Mike and Will made up. When Mike talked with Will in his bedroom, it was the first time we’d seen them having a heart-to-heart and being together behind closed doors since s2. They were finally on the same page again and were no longer distrustful or distant with one another. The next time they’re completely along behind closed doors is at the end of s4, when El walks out and closes the door. This is when Will starts opening up to Mike about what’s going on with him, and is likely building up to them having more moments like this.

So then, what’s the deal with all the exit signs around Mike? Doors tend to represent characters relationships with each other, but this particular detail is likely more about Mike’s relationship with himself. An exit sign is primarily there to signal an escape or a way out during an emergency. And what kind of emergency could Mike be having? Most likely, a sexuality crisis. He’s trying to escape from himself. This is also supported by the one way sign, another sign which shows the direction a person should go in order to stay safe, pointing into his open closet door. He’s trying to escape or run from his own feeling as a way to protect himself.

The Upside Down

The Upside Down was actually the reason I started looking into door symbolism in the first place. The doors opening by themselves during Will’s episodes more specifically. First at the arcade, then at his house. This is meant to show how the Upside Down was invading Will’s mind, entering without permission. His possession scene was especially interesting, since he exited the bathroom door out of his own volition, and we then see the Mind Flayer racing through the halls towards him. The Mind Flayer likely had to burst through one of the doors to enter the school, and we see Will run out through a pair of doors when trying to escape.

Another interesting detail about the Upside Down is how the tears in time and space that connect their two worlds are referred to as “gates”, or as Alexie put it, a “doorway between worlds”. Which means when the gate is closed, you can think of it as a closed door. The right side up world and the Upside Down are opposites to each other, so they always stay on opposite sides of the door. It’s been referenced as being “the other side” on multiple occasions, first from Mike, then the Hero’s song, the comic about Will in the Upside down is called The Other Side, and even Steve in s4 referred to their world as the other side. The right side up and the Upside down can never truly be one and the same, close the door and the connection will break. Even the naming of the Upside Down suggests this - the underside of the D&D board could never be the top side, they’ll always be on opposite sides. Despite the fact that the Upside Down is now leaking into Hawkins, once the gate is closed everything from the UD dies in their world.

Noteworthy mentions

Max was holding her locker door open when Dustin and Lucas asked her to go trick or treating, showing that she was, in fact, interested and paying attention. However, she slammed it shut afterwards and walked away, since she originally wasn’t planning on going. She only decided to go after Billy nearly ran them over and felt bad since she actually did secretly want to go, and didn’t want them to believe she had any malicious intent towards them.

When character's are getting Vecna’d, all the doors are blocked off. They’re essentially trapped in their own mind, much like how Brenner told El that her mind was a prison. This connects to the moment where El is trying to escape from her memories when she’s first put in NINA, constantly running through all the different doors, but they all lead to the rainbow room. This also connects to Funshine claiming that Kali “freed” them all, first pointing to his head, then to his heart. Being unaccepting of oneself often leads to them being trapped in their own head.

Will has a NO TRESPASSING sign on his door, showing how he only lets in people he trusts. This is especially supported by the fact that the only characters we’ve seen on the other side of the sign has been Joyce, Jonathan, Hopper and Mike (other than the time the time the people from the lab were literally trespassing to take pictures of his drawings). Castle Byers is also password protected. This implies Will is selective with who he opens up to, which is supported by his claim that everyone treats him differently and by him implying to Mike how it’s scary for him to open up about how he really feels.

During their fight, Jason told Lucas about how he “never should have let him in the door” to which Lucas responded with “and I never should have knocked”. They’re talking about how Lucas approached Jason and the basketball team, something he did because he didn’t want to be made fun of anymore. This is Lucas saying he regrets ever trying to change who he is just to be socially acceptable. Lucas realized just how truly terrible Jason was wondered why he ever wanted to be like him. “Letting him in the door” meant Jason gave him the opportunity to become popular like he was, and as we saw, Jason trusted him in the beginning. It’s also a neat detail that once they realized Lucas tricked them, he was running out the door, officially letting himself out and breaking free.

When Nancy and Jonathan first got together, they were at first both behind separate closed doors. They both walked out at the same time and met in the middle, both trying to reassure themselves and each other that Murray was wrong and they didn’t have feelings for each other. They then went back into their decided rooms and closed the doors, showing how they were on the same page, but both were closing themselves off emotionally. Then, finally, they met in the middle again, only this time Jonathan kissed her. They shared a passionate kiss, then stepped back into Nancy’s room together and closed the door.

When Lucas told Max the truth about what happened, it was the first time they were alone behind closed doors together. She didn’t believe him, so she walked out the door, and Lucas followed. And once she did start to believe him, Billy showed up and she told him not to follow her out. This is symbolic of her being afraid of Billy knowing that her and Lucas are friends, and scared that he would hurt them. So she tells him to stay behind closed doors. where they’re safe to hang out together, hidden from Billy’s view. Lucas is on the inside of the door, aka the inside of her heart, because she cares about him and wants him safe and close. Of course, Lucas didn’t listen and ran out the doors as soon as they started driving away, foreshadowing to them openly being friends with each other by the end of the season, despite Billy.

There’s also a lot of instances of doors being broken down, most of which involving the monsters. The Demogorgon would quite literally break through the barrier between worlds, such as the Byers ceiling as well at the school wall. It also broke down the door between the party and itself, as well as attempted to force the door between itself and Hopper open. Flayed Billy burst through the sauna door when they trapped him in there to discover whether or not he was possessed. One destroyed all the doors at the lab and killed the kids inside. El broke down the door to the NINA project to save her friends when Brenner tried to force her to stay.

There are SO many other uses of door symbolism, but I think this has gone on long enough. And I’m sure there some moments I’m forgetting about so if you can think of any cool use of doors I’d love to hear it!

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mukankei08 · 1 year

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If Maes existed 3: The Reckoning

Galacta: how's Vari by the way?

Maes: she's been doing good, she was an exceptional swordswoman before my death.

Dark: who are you talking about?

Maes: my daughter. You know some tidbits about the "phenomenon" right? Afterwards I was married to the crown prince Pual of my planet. A lot happened until we were able to meet each other again.

Dark: that sounds-

Galacta: she's also my daughter by like %15

Dark: wait, what!?

Maes: long story short, the council was sorta xenophobic when it came to the two of us. Has to do with the theory of hybrids becoming more powerful with these mixes of genes. The ancients were paranoid...

Dark: then how did you two happen!?

Galacta: trust me when we say we view each other as friends and nothing more. Maes' priests were not happy when we hang out, so they forced her into a marriage.

Maes: Pual didn't like it either, he was gonna propose to his battle buddy but those jerks refused it in favor of my magic.

Dark: that's fucked up

Galacta: exactly. The ancient era was not kind and somewhat corrupt.

Maes: I really didn't want my daughter to be used against her will so the next time I saw Galacta, I wanted him to combine our energies a little.

Dark: and what exactly is that supposed to do?

Maes: there were theories and methods involving asexual reproduction. One of the most tested methods was energy combination. By doing so an offspring is created without doing the nasty stuff and is a fast process. I was heavily pregnant at the time and it was a risky decision.

Dark: because of the xenophobia?

Maes: no. My people worship the first Seras, our God, and people have prophesied that there will be a winged Seras who is blessed by her. That Seras will be able to walk freely, from her destiny...

Dark: and that's what you wanted...

Galacta: it wasn't easy. It had to be the right amount or people would know that she isn't the king's daughter. Enough energy to be able to have wings.

Maes: it unfortunately didn't happen until after my planet's fall. Vari had to go through so much that it took for our planet's demise to finally be free...

Dark: I... I'm sorry to hear that

Maes: what's worse is that after escaping those asses captured Galacta and sealed him after not telling where we are...

Galacta: Maes, stop blaming yourself. I decided to help and I honored our friendship even after what the council put me through.

Maes: well Vari is out there. Hopefully she's happy out there. So, our relationship is just purely platonic Dark

Dark: I see that. I'm just... intrigued at how strong you're friendship is.

Maes: with a group as crazy as ours, our bond was just as strong.

( :) @quanblovk )

#idk what to tag this as #gala also sorta adopted maes niece #at least in my au #the ancients era was inspired by when church was the system

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rebelquilled · 2 years

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ON AHRI, SARAH, AND NEEKO

while corrupted, xayah hated them. fiercely. and a part of her even now that she’s purified still does. not to the same extent because she doesn’t have the chaos and darkness constantly feeding on her pain, but the anger and hurt she felt at the time of being abandoned didn’t just evaporate just because rakan helped to clear out most of the corruption she contained.

xayah still heavily carries the weight of the whole original battle with zoe. of watching rakan die and finding herself alone soon after. neeko was there and, in the moment, she forgave the chameleon like girl because xayah believed that neeko was struck down herself. but ahri and sarah? seeing them turn their backs when they knew she was alive?

that kindled the first spark of darkness in her. probably the moment that zoe felt xayah and rakan could actually be of use to her in accomplishing her mission even if that meant doing exactly what she claims she was “protecting” guardians from. that she could use a fallen guardian to her advantage.

and upon being resurrected and seeing neeko was alive... that took an already broken and angry xayah and just caused her to fall apart. to the lhotlan’s eyes, all her friends, her family... ignored her. left her to die when she called to them. even if she was doomed, she couldn’t believe none of them really tried for more than a thought or a step. and so she harbors anger and hurt. that the decision to not even attempt was considered the best.

that she wasn’t worth it. that rakan wasn’t.

she pivots most of the blame on ahri because sarah did react. sarah did acknowledge and start towards them. and then when xayah was battling her corruption during zoe’s invasion, she recognizes sarah came to try and help. that she didn’t turn her back that time. but she also recognizes that ahri, sarah, and neeko all stopped her and not rakan when he took on her corruption and “sacrificed” himself. she’s had to watch him “die” twice. she was ready to accept it for herself. losing him again was another shatter.

she even told sarah that it was worse losing him than losing herself. but ahri once again makes way for the moment that breaks her heart.

so it’s not quite the same, but the three helping force her through that experience again did not do any help with repairing a shattered relationship. xayah can’t believe they care. if they cared about rakan... about her... they wouldn’t have let that happen again. but they did. hence her weariness and general fury at the end of twin stars, still.

even if she doesn’t hate them now that she can think clearly, she doesn’t trust them, and she harbors ill will towards them at times when she’s at her lowest. part of that is still the corruption and darkness that hasn’t left her, but part of it is just genuine anguish. she has every right to feel as such, really, even if ahri ultimately made the best choice.

but her corruption does flare, and she does still think about trying to kill them. xayah is able to usually temper it, however, and recall that revenge isn’t exactly what she wants. all she really wants is an apology. a real one. and to be seen as valuable and not someone to sacrifice. someone to lose without too much concern. if she can get rakan back, then they’re proof that fallen guardians don’t have to remain fallen and forgotten.

forgiveness is possible with the three... it’ll just take huge amounts of time and repair. but deep down, xayah misses them dearly. they were and still are in many ways her found family. even more so than ori, sera, and senna though she has come to care for them, as well. but she can’t deny the bonds that formed with her old team. and how their frayed strands cause her to ache each day. but the strength of that bond made the break all the much harder and shattering when she felt that they ruined it. that it meant nothing to them.

so she remains antagonizing to them even after she’s purified. because there’s a great deal of damage control to be done. the city got repaired quickly, but friendships don’t always.

#long post //#i'm sure i'm forgetting parts of what i wanted to ramble #so i might edit this one later but #for now !!! i did it !!!#&&. guardian ( headcanon )

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heatsbeloved · 2 years

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SOULMATE AU FOR HEAT

- Rowan >:]

NO BUT LIKE THIS IS REAL? This is the exact dynamic Heat and Nissa have. Spoilers for a game that came out in 2004 under the cut LOL plus um i don't really remember the plot all that well i need to go through it again

So like. For me to get to my point I need to say first that the characters in the game are not, technically, "people". DDS1 takes place in a war simulation. The main characters (along with a few side ones) are all based off of people that one character Sera knew. Sera is important here because she has "powers" (for lack of a better word) which allows her, among other things, to talk to God directly and to generate her own inner world that's in her own design. The Junkyard simulation isn't her own, but she kind of injected the people she knew into it.

This is where the whole "soulmate AU" thing actually comes into play. The characters are people she knew as she knew them-- so she only knew them as far as what she saw. Heat O'Brien (the real one) was actually the only person who cared for the young Sera's wellbeing and was vehemently against the real Serph's treatment of her. (He was a complete monster but that's not what I'm talking about right now) Because he was always so aggressive towards Serph, and because Sera didn't know what was happening behind the scenes, this manifested as Heat (the one in the simulation) just being oppositional to Serph all the time for any reason. It's why he's just a jackass overall-- that's literally how he was made.

Of course Nissa factors into this as well. They were also someone Sera knew; they worked as the head of maintenance and engineering on the machine that allowed Sera to speak to God. Nissa wasn't ever privy to the true nature of the experiment, and didn't know the full extent of what they were really doing. But, they had an innate connection to the original Heat. Nissa was the only person who she ever saw him being nice to. (This is mostly because even though they didn't know what was going on, they still had the feeling that the original Serph was a snake and that he shouldn't be trusted.) Combined with a budding romance between the original Nissa and the original Heat that was cut short by their untimely deaths, this leads to them gravitating towards one another in the Junkyard simulation.

It's not something either of them can put into words. It just... is. They have a deep and unexplainable bond between them, and it had been that way since they were able to break free from their programming and develop emotions. Maybe the original people they were based off of weren't destined to be together, but the ones Sera made definitely were.

#ship ; in flames #thank u rowan my friend rowan

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ethresijournal · 2 years

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Entry 34

Be it due to the emotion of the last evening, or my own... distracted self, I had not given much thought to another part of the conversation I had with sera Talianwe and Erenwe. Something... I had noticed during my conversations with those within the Circle. People are oddly curious about my relationship with Rivras. And I do not understand why. ...is our friendship somehow different to what they'd expect from it? Or did they simply find it just as unlikely as myself that a man such as him would make a friend with me - instead of so many individuals that are much more interesting than myself. Sera Sehwyir asking curiously if he's bound to someone else (is he? I would not know? or would I? Would he tell me?). Why did she look at me in such an intense way? Sera Talianwe asking who is he to me. Both her and sera Erenwe wondering how we came to know one another - how we became friends. Sera Marceline awkwardly hinting at the type of my bond with him. ...even Sindarion stated I am fond of the man after I mention him once! Tsk. Gossipers. Everyone seems so interested in our friendship - or suggesting it to be something different to what it is. Why are they so keen to know?

Anyways. I explained the situation to the best of my ability. I did say he is a dear friend of mine, one I can rely on, one that cares for me and protects me. They asked how we met - I did state it was when I was picking seashells in Anvil that I met him for the first time. Then, following that, we had met by accident on a few occurrences - and he took strange, cruel pleasure in scaring me - why? just because he could, I suppose. He was also the one who had shown me the way to the Haven - in a way, introduced me to it. They found the story 'adorable'.

I had confessed that the Owl Merchant had chosen me to be her next auctioneer during the auction hosed on Haven's Tales and Tallows event. Sera Erenwe appeared enraged I did not think of my attire yet, nor given it any deeper thought. She proclaimed she will assist me - and sera Talianwe (who had not thought of hers either) - in choosing the right garb - and that it will be so dazzling that I will be the centre of attention of those that come for the auction. Sera Erenwe also stated she will do so, so I can earn gazes of my friends... This was an odd commentary, considering she is counted among them and she will be one of the people choosing my attire. Or-... Anyways. The prospect of it is rather intimidating. I wish not to garner the attention of everyone in the room, I never aspired to be willing to do so. I do not think I could, even if I tried my best - with all the beautiful women and handsome men that make their way through the Haven daily, why would people pay attention to me?

But- The problem for future consideration, perhaps. I am looking forward to shopping for the clothiers chosen by sera Erenwe - she always dresses in a way that makes her stand out from others, elegant, poised and proud as she is. She wishes me to wear a 'suit' - an elegant male attire, believing me to be able to 'pull it off' well. She says I will look best in a suit with a blue accent - to match the 'theme' of the event, with blue meaning the merchants of enchanted goods (which is fitting for an auctioneer). I am unsure of the suit idea I had hoped to use the event as an opportunity to wear a dress, perhaps. One of those silk ones, loosely falling off the shoulders that I had seen some women wear (they looked so beautiful! Would I?). But sera Erenwe says a suit might... suit me better. I will trust her judgment when it comes to fashion. Perhaps I can get a nice 'pirate' coat with it. I think Ithri would like that.

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ell-vellan · 2 months

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WIP Wednesday

Something fun I've been working on: the Well of Sorrows mission, from Bull's POV. Still needing to add more lore-accurate timeline details, but here's how it starts.

Iron Bull didn’t know what the fuck was going on, not really. Except that they were knee-deep in elfy-shite, as Sera would say, and they’d fought through an army of messed-up weirdo Red Templars to get here.

Unsurprisingly, Sera had stayed home for this one.

This whole temple, Bull had been on edge. Place had a weird feeling to it – not the least of which was because the strange, unnaturally fast elves with odd armor had come out of nowhere to defend it. But it wasn’t just him. The whole party had stepped carefully. Who knew what traps lay in wait for them in this ruined temple, forgotten by the world and time itself?

All he knew was that Corpyheus was after this place, and whatever it was he wanted from it, they were gonna get to it first.

El had insisted on respecting the rituals of the place, slowing them down considerably, despite knowing that every second they wasted meant more Inquisition soldiers dying for them outside the walls. And for El to make that choice – to sacrifice her people, to follow the advice of the witch with shifty motives?

This wasn’t just another temple ruin to El. This place was real to her.

Apparently they’d done a decent job at showing respect to Mythal, because no more weird elves came out of the shadows to shoot at them. And while Solas and Morrigan sniped at each other, El had been quiet, deep in thought, with a permanent, studious furrow in her brow as she examined each new half-broken statue eroded by moss and time, each new faded mural and unintelligible pictograph, full of groundbreaking significance to her and meaning fuck-all to him.

Bull had let the three of them lead the way gladly, without complaint, and hung back with Cole, who was his own kind of weird, but at least a familiar weird.

When they were in the field like this, El and Bull’s roles were different. Things had shifted, slightly, once the inner circle had found out about them being together, but that just meant he could occasionally call her kadan in other people’s hearing, playfully touch her as he passed, or sit beside her at camp. They kept things professional out here. He did what he was told, and he didn’t question it without good reason.

Which meant he couldn’t distract her with his own discomfort, or slow her down with his questions or concerns. He’d have to trust she knew what she was doing, even if he didn’t trust the other two leading them on this expedition.

The Temple of Mythal may give Bull the heebie-jeebies, but to El, this was one of the only somewhat-intact piece of her lost history in existence, and she was curious and alive with the possibilities of learning its secrets. She was intent, focused, wanting to slow down despite the danger literally beating down their door to spend more time on each new tantalizing new mystery. He wanted to be at her side, hear her thoughts, help her figure out the mysteries she needed to answer so badly – he wanted to give her time to explore and he wanted to ask questions. So many goddamn questions.

But they were in a race with Corypheus, and the thing that mattered most was finding the Well of Sorrows. Whatever the hell that was. And despite the fact that it sounded like something they really shouldn’t be messing with.

El broke her intense silence only to occasionally ask Solas for more details about this place that he somehow knew from his “journeys in the Fade” and she did not, despite being steeped in this culture from birth.

None of it made any sense. She should've been the one to elucidate the meanings of each new carving in the rock, explaining the rituals. Instead it was Solas and Morrigan, arguing like two professors continuing old intellectual debates that didn’t matter to anyone outside the two of them.

Bull knew enough to keep his trap shut but his ears and eye open, on the lookout for creepy traps or more creepy vengeful elves or – the most likely – some sign of betrayal from the shifty witch who gave him a really bad vibe.

Of course Corypheus tried to beat them here, and of course they’d fought off his freaky minions. Of course the creepy elf and the witch pulled something shady and tried to get to the Well first.

Now, finally, they stood in front of a large circular pool of still water beneath a huge mirror of equally rippling reflections that somehow gave Bull the most massive case of the creeps, guarded by an eerie elf who was like no elf he'd met before.

This was what Corypheus wanted so badly. This was what they’d come all this way and shed so much blood in order to steal out from under him.

Seeing the Well of Sorrows now – just a low pool of water at their feet – Bull believed it earned its name, somehow.

#my writing #wip wednesday #dragon age inquisition

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orionsangel86 · 3 years

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SPN Conspiracies - Applying Logic to Chaos

Its been over 2 months now since the Supernatural finale aired. I am still so angry, hurt, and confused by it and I don’t think I will ever get closure unless someone like Andrew Dabb, or Jensen Ackles, actually opens up and gives us an explanation that makes sense.

What annoys me most right now is people trying to gaslight fans into believing that we should accept the narrative we have been given at face value: That the finale was always planned to be that way, that Destiel was never on the cards, that there was no Network interference, that the only changes made were due to covid and were minor at best.

This harmful gaslighting is FALSE.

NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Look, I don’t agree with some of the crazier conspiracy theories. I don’t believe that there was some huge campaign among the CW Network execs to remove anything remotely gay out of homophobia. I don’t believe that the finale was changed because of some desire to make it into a Walker promo. I don’t believe that the finale was really bad on purpose in protest by Dabb for not getting to do an ending he truly wanted. I don’t believe that Dabb left us smart fans a bunch of secret messages in the finale to hint that he was on our side all along and that everything was fake.

I do, however, believe that all of these conspiracy theories have some elements in them that are plausible. At least, more plausible than the bullshit narrative mentioned above that some people are pushing in some desperate attempt to defend the Network (which imo is really strange behaviour anyway - why would anyone care about a TV network with a history of terrible behaviour?!?)

We have facts, based on information provided before the covid lockdown, which for some reason, people like Misha have since backpeddled on. So let me try to outline some of the information that makes no sense.

Below the cut I go on a deep dive into the conspiracies and statements I have heard about the SPN finale and try to make some sense of this whole fucked up situation. It gets long.

1. “Cas was never gonna be in the finale”.

False: We have many fan accounts of Misha confirming that he was filming the finale. We have video evidence of Misha confirming he was going back to film the finale after the lockdown. We have confirmation from fans in Misha M&Gs from March that he had about 5 days of filming left.

We also had fan accounts of discussions with Alex Calvert (I think) where he confirmed the final shot of the final episode was all four of them though I would LOVE if someone can find a source for this.

2. Okay, Misha was gonna be in the finale, but only as Jimmy Novak

False: I heavily side eyed Misha when he said this. But I think I can come up with a plausible explanation for it. Per above, Misha was supposed to film for 5 days. This does not align with the half a day he described of filming as Jimmy Novak. My own belief is that after Cas was cut from the finale (for whatever reason we don’t know) someone (probably Jensen Ackles) put up a fight and complained that Misha should be there for the final episode. The writers probably tried to come up with a way to bring Misha back without having to deal with Cas, and pitched the idea of Jimmy Novak being in Heaven. Misha, obviously annoyed about this, turned this stupid pitch down.

3. Destiel was never a thing, never planned, never part of Dabb’s ending. Bobo and Misha pushing the confession was the part of the season that was Wrong.

False: We have a SPN writer on record saying that Castiel’s confession was the first thing written for Season 15 when the writers returned to the writers room. If it wasn’t planned, why was it the first thing written, why does it align so well with the rest of season 15? Look I know some people either a. hate destiel and refuse to see it even if it slaps them in the face, or b. have major heteronormative goggles on, or c. are just homophobes in denial, but 15x18 fits in perfectly with the narrative of season 15. Everything Cas says, everything that happened in that scene was so in character it just works. It fit. If you just rewatch the season whilst applying some critical thinking skills and pay attention to the narrative and character arcs, trust me, the confession fits in with pretty much every other plot point, and character story in the season.

Also: We have known for a while that the network did market research into Destiel, wanting to know if it would go down well or not. They were well aware of its popularity and considering it. Where would this have come from if not pitched by the showrunner? Dabb must have at least been considering it. If you take all of Dabb era into consideration, starting with mid season 11, all the way through the season 12 build up, season 13 grief arc, and then Bobo’s Destiel break up arc in late season 14, early season 15, it is clear that there was some toing and froing on the issue of Destiel, but ultimately, I still believe that Dabb was on board. He wrote 13x01 for christs sake. No way he wasn’t taking it seriously.

4. It’s always been about the brothers. The finale just stays true to what Supernatural is all about.

*rubs temples* Fundamentally FALSE: The show has time and again reasserted the message of “Family don’t end with blood”, as well as the messages of AKF and YANA. Sam and Dean may be at the heart of the show, but a heart can’t exist without a body to support it. Without bones, and lungs, and blood, and muscles, and a BRAIN. The finale abandons the shows core messages. It forces the characters back into their season 1 characterisations and the whole thing becomes hollow and souless. But I’m not here to complain, I’m here to lay down the facts. Dean’s heaven was supposed to be surrounded by loved ones right? We know OG Charlie Bradbury was gonna be in his Heaven, we also know CAS was gonna be in there. So this idea that the finale as it currently stands was how it was meant to be is wrong. Dean was supposed to die and reunite with his found family and loved ones. This alone would have been a far better ending than the one given. Do I think this was solely a covid issue? Fuck no.

The randoms that WERE in the finale are proof alone that they could have got people in and quarantined. We also have several actors on record saying that they WOULD have quarantined for the finale had they been asked to return but they WEREN’T.

Lies have been told. Samantha Ferris and Chad Limberg have confirmed that we have been lied to about the original plans for the finale.

This alone is proof enough that there is more plausibility in some of the conspiracy theories than any bullshit narrative some people are pushing in defence of the barbaric mess of a finale we were given.

So lets address some of the conspiracy theories now:

Conspiracy No.1: The CW Network reviewed Supernatural during the covid break, and due to homophobia, refused any Destiel arc that wasn’t already filmed, shut down any potential reciprocation from Dean, and forced Dabb to change his finale.

I don’t think this is entirely what happened. But I do think it is very strange how there is a such a huge disconnect particularly in Dean’s characterisations between what had come before the lockdown, and what came after. The one fact we have here, and please someone provide a source if you can find it because I know there is one, the finale script was still going through changes up to only 2 weeks before it was filmed. We know that there was some weird editing in 15x18 (which was still in post and uncompleted before lockdown) and we know from Jensen’s own mouth that there was more to the confession scene on Dean’s side that was cut. We also know that this isn’t the first time that Destiel heavy moments have been changed in post - the prayer scene is another big scene that went through a lot of changes and Bobo fought to have his script play out the way he wanted it.

There are certain things that in my own opinions, are basically true of SPN which I have put together from years of keeping one eye on the writers room, the network, and all the various comments made. My opinion is this:

The writers room has always been split on Destiel. Some writers heavily supported making it canon, others did not care, or were against it.

The Network considered it over the course of several years, did market research, green lit it, then changed their minds, possibly several times over the course of Dabb’s era. Destiel was pitched to the Network early in Dabb era.

The crew on set were also split. Some people heavily supported it, and worked to assist the reading, whereas others did not care/did not support it. The same can be said for the editing room.

Bob Singer supported the subtextual homoeroticism, but never supported bringing it into text (this is an opinion, but I think it aligns with everything we know about him.) IMO Bob Singer also supported subtextual homoeroticism between Sam and Dean - the guy is gross is what I’m saying. He isn’t exactly a progressive person.

Fun fact - a while back our old enemy Sera Gamble went on a Twitter rant about writers rooms and the ways a script goes through changes. I don’t think this was in relation to the SPN finale wank but she basically inadvertantly confirmed that the Network can step in and make sweeping changes to a script if they want to and if they decide they don’t like the direction of a story. Sera Gamble confirmed this as a fact.

Now. I’m not saying that this is what the CW did with Destiel. I just think its very strange how pre lockdown, the last thing filmed is a heartfelt homosexual declaration of love between Dean and Cas, and we have a finale script that Misha had not seen, but knew that he was meant to film as Castiel for 5 days (5 days on set is over half of an episode as far as I know). Then all of a sudden, Covid happens, and Cas is cut from the finale completely, a desperate attempt to bring Misha back only as Jimmy Novak takes place, which Misha rightly refuses, leading to a finale which makes zero sense narratively and appears in every way completely and utterly butchered.

The only explanation provided by anyone involved is that Covid meant changes had to happen - but that covid didn’t change the actual story at all.

But this makes no sense because we know that Cas was cut from the finale. This is FACT. Do not let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. Misha was preparing to quaranting to return to set as Cas post Covid, so whatever happened to cut Cas from the finale, it wasn’t Covid.

I’m gonna have to Occum’s Razor this and say that the most logical explanation here is the one that is most likely true. Someone got cold feet with the Destiel story, and to prevent any possible interpretation that included Dean reciprocating, any hints of Destiel were removed from the finale script, including Castiel’s whole appearance.

Now, this isn’t me saying I think that Dabb’s original finale was full of Destiel love confessions and a homosexual kiss or whatever, but I am asking you all to really think about it and ask yourselves WHY Cas would have been totally cut from an episode he was supposed to be in at LEAST half of?

We will probably never know the real reason Cas was cut, but he WAS cut. I’m not saying it was all homophobia, but some fuckery went down.

Conspiracy No. 2: The CW Network changed the finale to make it into a Walker promo because they only cared about raising up Jared and not Jensen and Misha as they were losing them anyway.

I don’t agree with this in terms of the finale being butchered solely to make it into a Walker promo. There are however moments in the finale that are clearly supposed to be Walker Easter Eggs and added to excite fans of Jared/Sam in particular such as Sam’s gratuitous and unnecessary topless scene, as well as the call on the “case in Austin”.

I will take this moment to say something pretty damn controversial though.

*Deep breath*

The fact is, Dean Winchester has been the “lead” character of Supernatural’s narrative for years now, with Sam often being sidelined and not given great storylines himself. Even in Season 15, right up until the finale, I myself felt bad for Sam sometimes because so much of this show has become all about Dean. Jensen Ackles is clearly the better actor when it comes to emotional story arcs, so the emotional heart of the story has most often leant on him.

So you can understand my confusion, when this is turned on its head in the final episode, to make Sam carry all the emotional weight, and have the most lines/screentime, and story resolution (even if his story resolution was just as crappy as Dean’s).

If we pretend that Destiel is not a thing, and ignore Cas’s confession, the story change in the finale from Dean focus to Sam focus is still rather suspicious. Again, I’m not saying I completely approve of or agree to the conspiracy theory that Walker influenced the butchering of the script, but I can believe that perhaps a note went down from the CW to someone like Bob Singer, to emphasise Sam/Jared more than they perhaps would normally, because the CW wanted to shine the spotlight on Jared to raise excitement for Walker.

I can also believe this note might have said something like “we wanna cater to fans of Sam/Jared the most - don’t do anything to piss them off.” but now I am getting into my own conspiracy theories so by all means dismiss this as me being bitter.

Conspiracy No.3: Dabb purposely made it bad, as a secret message to Destiel fans that he had been silenced, by layering meta clues into the episode that he knew fans would notice.

I doubt this one is true. Though some of the theories are quite compelling. The old vampire silent movie theory for instance starts off quite well, but loses me the moment it brings up Urban Dictionary slang.

Sometimes I have just had to accept that Supernatural is a bad show that is sometimes accidentally a masterpiece. However, some writers really did go That Deep with their stories - anything by Ben Edlund or Steve Yockey for instance, their episodes are meta masterpieces with a hundred different layers of beautiful subtextual storytelling and are a joy to analyse. Bobo Berens has certainly done some A+++ work especially now we KNOW that he was working hard all this time to bring Destiel to canon text (so any analysis of Destiel in the subtext in his episodes is very accurate). There have been many other key elements analysed over the years which have been confirmed true. Cas’s death in Season 12, Dean’s time as a demon in season 10, Season 11 ending in unity of dark and light, these were all plot points predicted by meta writers just by analysing the narrative. Sometimes the writers really have been very smart and they do add things to the show to aid us in our meta.

Richard Speight Jr for instance, confirmed that SPN has a visual library that the production team use to give clues and hints in the narrative. Pizza, for example, always means a lie has been told. Whenever Pizza is being eaten or even just mentioned on screen, there is dishonesty in that particular moment.

The beers also have a very specific message and the one thing I can’t let go about the finale, was that Dean was drinking El Sol beer. The beer his dad gave him, that was terrible.

El Sol has been used in the show to indicate something being wrong, a fake reality, or another lie, for the longest time. It is the beer of deception.

The fact that in the final episode of this entire show, Dean is in Heaven, supposedly at peace, and then he gets handed an El Sol beer to drink? Thats a HUGE red flag for any meta writer watching who can read SPNs visual library.

If they had given him the Margiekugel beer of family then it would make sense. Dean is in Heaven, with Bobby, his family, at peace. Margiekugel should have been the beer of choice. But nope. El Sol. Something is wrong.

I don’t know if it was Dabb, or Singer, or some disgruntled ADs and crew members who added these elements into the finale, but their very presence confirms some message of Wrongness.

I could go into a huge rant about Vampire Mimes not making sense and the very glaringly obvious symbolism of cutting out peoples tongues too, but that is high school level film analysis. It’s obvious. It means to silence someone. There is validity in interpreting this as Dabb saying he was silenced. I don’t know how true it is, but i can’t 100% dismiss it, because as I said, this is high school analysis levels of obvious subtextual storytelling.

So in summary, whilst I don’t think that Dabb intentionally went out of his way to sabotage his own script, and leave a breadtrail of secret messages for savvy fans to put together to confirm that he was silenced by an evil network into not getting what he wanted... I do think that there is validity in questioning these odd choices for the finale. Cutting out tongues? Vampire Mimes? El Sol beer?

The evidence is somewhat compelling is all I’m saying. I don’t believe the full conspiracy theories, but as I have said many times before, some fuckery went down.

So What Do I Believe?

That some fuckery went down and whatever company line they are pushing is bullshit.

I believe that the original script included Cas (since thats fact). I believe that the original script probably always had Dean dying on a vampire hunt (due to Jensen’s issues with it and in particular, his sarcastic comments about vampires in the past year or so which in hindsight are hilarious and prove he never really came to terms with Dean’s idiotic death). I believe Dabb’s original script was some less crappy version of what we got, which potentially included showing Jack rescuing Cas from the Empty and resolving the outstanding Empty plot points (potentially this was actually a 15x19 plot since Mark P commented that his final scenes were supposed to be with Jack and Cas), had Cas reunite with Dean in Heaven and had them have a discussion about Cas’s confession. I believe that there was probably a lot of back and forth over how to handle that with some people wanting Dean to obviously reciprocate and others believing they should keep it ambiguous. I believe that Dean and Cas would have reunited with Charlie Bradbury, and Bobby Singer, and possibly others (though if this was the case it must have been very early on since no one ever looped in Sam Ferris, Chad Linberg or any other Roadhouse people).

I believe that Sam’s ending probably didn’t change much, but I do feel that initially they were planning on him ending up with Eileen, because it is the only thing that narratively makes sense. Cutting Eileen and giving him a blurry wife is something I won’t ever understand and Jared’s bullshit explanations are quite clearly pulled out of his ass to appease bronly types. I believe the reunion on the bridge would have included Cas and Jack, with a final shot of all four of them together, at peace (as this aligns with Alex’s comments from around a year or so ago that the final shot was all four of them). (I also am not sure it was always supposed to be on a bridge since the foreshadowing in an earlier episode showed Dean, Cas and Sam all in the Roadhouse together).

I believe that script went through countless changes and redrafts, and not even production people or the types that some fandom people claim as their “sources” would even have seen those early scripts, since even Misha never saw it. I believe that these rumours of Dabb never having Cas in his finale and ignoring all Destiel elements likely come from people who only saw later versions, weren’t party to network discussions and felt bitter about the final scripts they did see (being the crappy butchered one that was ultimately filmed). Those “sources” are now spreading rumours to discredit Dabb.

I obviously believe Dabb is a weak ass pushover who either didn’t care enough to fight back, or gave up since he’s been stuck with fucking Bob Singer on his back for years, but I will NEVER believe he didn’t care about the DeanCas love story, because he has been one of the few writers who has championed for it for years. You can’t look back at Dabb’s episodes in earlier seasons and claim he didn’t care. Dabb was a writer whose creative ideas were beaten out of him by an unforgiving Network only concerned about where their future money was coming from. Do I think he gave up too easily? Yes. But I also have one other huge reason for not believing the bullshit about Dabb being this anti-Destiel villain.

Bobo. Because if Bobo truly believed Dabb was gonna fuck that up at the end, I don’t think he would have given us Cas’s love confession to begin with. If he had known it was gonna end like that, I think he would have reconsidered, because had Cas not confessed his love, I don’t think he would have been cut from the finale. Bobo - a gay man, would not have wanted such a horrible message for queer fans being put across in the show he worked so hard on. He started writing that confession scene the day they returned to the writers room. Dabb would have been there, would have seen what he was writing, probably discussed it with him, after all, other episodes were written with the confession in mind. No way was Dabb planning to fuck up the ending knowing what Bobo was giving us. Nope.

Something went very wrong over lockdown. Someone, somewhere up the chain of power caught wind of the confession scene in 15x18, realised that it demanded a resolution which would make Dean Winchester, their protagonist, queer, and pulled the plug. I believe this did not come from a place of homophobia, but of bad business sense.

The CW is constantly trying to win the approval and attention of the one demo group that they seem to fail at getting the most: young straight men. Supernatural was one of their only remaining shows that appeals to young straight men, and Dean Winchester is more often than not the fave character of those young straight men who project onto him. Making Dean Winchester, established Han Solo of Supernatural, queer and in love with his best friend in the finale would have come across as a betrayal to those young straight men. The CW probably feared they would lose that demo group for good, and with a show like Walker starting soon with Jared at the helm, they couldn’t take the risk.

Hence there was probably a whole bunch of back and forth script redrafts with the Network, with Dabb and Singer fighting to make a finale that would appeal to everyone. There was most likely no way that they could bring Cas back without addressing what had already been filmed, because any resolution of that plot would either a. make Dean queer, or b. address it awkwardly by having Dean reject Cas (this storyline would probably have been slammed by critics worse than the finale because it meant addressing it. It might have got the attention of LGBTQ activist groups and caused a bigger shitstorm than what we got). The best option was therefore C. Bury it and Cas, pretend it never happened. Never address it again and distract Dean with other things. Hope that Destiel fans will accept no answer from Dean as ambiguous enough to imagine a future reunion rather than shutting it down with a rejection, and still keep hold of the blissfully ignorant heteronormative straight boys so they can carry over to Walker when it starts.

I also believe (controversially probably) that there was concern that any resolution of Dean and Cas would have overshadowed network darling Jared Padalecki. If Dean and Cas had come together in the finale, with a very clearly textual homosexual reunion, then that would have been all anyone talked about. The reviewers, the critics, the audience, everyone. It would have been nothing but Dean and Cas (and look, if they did think this, they were right, Destiel trending over the US ELECTION.)

So what is the network to do, when they are losing the two stars who would get the most attention from this storyline? The one star they were holding on to and getting his own show, relegated to third place in the finale of the show where he was first on the call sheet? Nope. That’s pretty unacceptable. Even without Walker I can imagine people at all levels side eyeing the Destiel thing over the years. This IS a show about two brothers, and their relationship should be the core relationship, we can’t have one brother pushed aside in the finale to make way for a queer relationship that will get all the attention instead. It was never gonna get approved for this reason ALONE.

At the end of the day, if I look at it from a business perspective, it makes far more sense that the CW shut down Destiel, rather than “oh Dabb never cared and ruined it because he’s an idiot.” The writers cared, and had built on that story over years. But their mistake was leaving any Destiel resolution to the finale. If they had instead gone and got Dean and Cas together in early season 15, then they could have ended it in a way that satisfied everyone. Destiel wouldn’t have threatened pulling focus away from Sam and Dean, and the show could have gone out on a high.

When I lay out all the conspiracy theories, and line them up next to the cold hard facts, the conspiracy theories in some way or another, make more sense. To believe the company line, the narrative we have been fed, is to ignore your own eyes, ears, and memories pre March 2020.

All I’m asking people to do is take a look at the show, the narrative presented in the show, and the information presented above. I’m not telling you to believe what I’ve written here, half of which is just my own opinion. I’m asking you to ask yourselves if it makes sense to you. Because it sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied.

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saintobio · 2 years

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SY YN is gonna be my favorite yn of all fics I’ve read. Her character is complex. She’s very human and very relatable. She’s weak and strong at the same time. She’s proof that a kind and generous person is also capable in doing foolish mistakes yet brave enough to own them. There are only two things I see she made a mistake is first, she didn’t divorce Gojo immediately after finding out Sera and continuosly hoping for Gojo to love her at the end and second, her hiding Sachiro and faking the abortion. That’s it. Can’t understand the hate to yn and would like her to end with Toji cause that’s what she deserves. I am really disappointed with Utahime. But knowing yn, she’s definitely hurt because she feels like, Utahime chose Gojo over her, their friendship isn’t that much value for Utahime to disrespect and betray her like that no matter what Gojo and yn’s status is. Of course Gojo has a fair share of it too. He’s always the same, he always do what what he think isn’t right but still do it anyway. Always delaying in communicating things. I need to calm my nerves. Geez

Anonymous said

the previous ask about yn calling gojo her husband yn baby i really love u pls pls pls just get over gojo properly saint can u write me in as yn's bff I CAN FIX HER i can be her bestest friend in the whole word her therapist her maid her girlfriend her platonic soulmate whatever it is she NEEDS a proper support system that can steer her on a better path and not be associated with gojo, aside from her own family and toji. im taking back what i said about gojohime happening being painful, what's more painful is yn being this way. i hate how almost no one sees how she's literally coping terribly with everything and i also hate how she's refusing to get help from someone she knows or a therapist... it seems like she's giving up on life and sachiro is literally her only lifeline. i hate seeing her as a mess rn and for the future chapters of sy... saint i'll beg on my knees for yn's happiness and sanity 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 plsplsplspls my god this fic is always making me cry because i feel so sad for yn and in a way, im always in her position to feel that no one is on my side, everyone is against me and just kept on bottling my feelings till it explode later on :"))))) i wasn't fond of reading jjk self-insert fics but i came across sn and fell in love with yn's character. from the start of sn till now, im always on her side (though i do criticise her for some of actions because im aware that she do make mistakes) and yn is literally one of my four comfort characters in life aaaah she's the only reason why im willing to put myself in misery (from the fic) again and again im so sad

Anonymous said

I will always be on yn’s side, like wtf no one but her and sachi should have a happy ending, like I really hope Gojo’s relationship with uta crumbles, he needs to grow and learn on his own and not get his dick wet with every woman that gives him attention 🙄

Anonymous said

Saint, im gonna be completely honest. I dont think I can read chapter 8 🥲 and why do I imagine yn getting a literal broken heart medical diagnosis after all this ends. I dont think I can hold on to gojoyn endgame SY7 is so painful I have puffy eyes for the past couple of hours now. i dont think I can go on anymore (tho of this is a lie bc I have you on my notifications and I just wanna hurt someone) I just want yn to have eternal rest and see her mom. I have mixed emotions bc omg idk, i just dont know. Your heavy angst is godtier writing that I literally have no idea what to feel but cryh the fuck out of my tear glands. I just hope we can all get through this (especially yn, poor girl)

Anonymous said

i knew people were going to question why yn broke down after finding out about satoru and utahime. okay… as someone who experienced having a close friend and an ex suddenly getting together… it’s different if it’s someone you know and trust. i know she told satoru to move on, but of course, she never told him to move on WITH MY BEST FRIEND. i also read someone say before that toji and satoru aren’t even friends but utahime and yn are… and not only friends but BEST FRIENDS. so before anyone compares it, IT’S DIFFERENT. give yn a break… y’all have been invalidating her feelings ever since sn. 💀

Anonymous said

I don't think yn feeling betrayed when utahime and satoru got together is invalid at all, I mean if my best friend got together with my ex husband who is also my baby daddy, I too would feel betrayed. Especially with all this drama is going on, the least she could have done is wait for satoru and yn to sort out their feelings and then try her turn with satoru.

Anonymous said

This chapter hurt so bad. Y/n definitely has every reason to be sad or hurt. There’s a difference between dating ur exes rival than sleeping with your exes best friend in my opinion. Utahime’s loyalty lies with Yn. In which she just broke by sleeping w her ex husband knowing all the damage he caused her (vise versa). Toji doesn’t owe gojo any loyalty so in my lil head it’s different . IM SO MAD FOR YN SHE HANDLED THAT BETTER THAN ME LMAOAOOAOAOAOA I would’ve been throwing hands cuz wtf.

Good chapter as always saint 🥲 you always know how to pull at my heart strings .

Anonymous said

ofc yn doesn’t own utahime or gojo and they can do whatever they want, but friendship requires loyalty too and imo, that means not hooking up with an ex on an ongoing basis and hiding it. i don’t think it’s fair to expect yn to keep being friends with utahime after that, especially considering yn said she wanted to get rid of anything that reminded her of gojo and move on. yn in the story is definitely a better person than i am lmao if i was in that situation i doubt i would care about him breaking utahimes heart.

also, just something i was wondering!! utahime mentions she’s falling in love with gojo — how long have they known each other at this point, and are her feelings more infatuation/wanting to fix him than actual love? sorry if you already answered this somewhere and i missed it.

yn is very emotionally flawed, we can’t deny that. she also makes questionable decisions, but her character is just innately unselfish that you feel bad for her sometimes 🥲 at least that’s how i feel when i have to write her pov i’m always like “damn, it’s ok girl you got this”. anyways, still so glad to see yn defenders in the ask box!! :)))

*edited bc i forgot to answer the last question. for a couple of months now, like 4-5? it’s not actual love. just infatuation and “i can’t stop thinking abt you” type of admiration

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours

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mystical-blaise · 2 years

Text

My thoughts on TWOTQ

I know there were a few anons who have asked me to update my feelings on this book. After the supposed controversy and varying love/hate votes on Goodreads came in that first day, I had taken a break and a step back. I was at 31% when I had stopped, and I binged the rest between Sunday and yesterday.

I didn't write my Goodreads review yet, but I gave it 3-ish stars. Did I enjoy it? Parts of it, yes. It is not my highest-ranked in the series. I still think AKOFAF is my favorite. But, I don't think it deserved the 1-star campaign it got on Goodreads.

I'm adding more of my thoughts and impressions below and they will contain spoilers. I have... a lot. LOL:

Pacing: Much like TCOGB, the pacing was a nightmare. TCOGB started with a bang, then the middle 40% was walking/talking, telling over showing, and then the last 1/3 was also crazy with things happening. TWOTQ suffered because the first 40% was boring. Where we were at 45-50%, is where we should have been at 20-25%. The boring could also be explained by being a member of the spoiler group. JLA posts a lot of teasers as she writes. This is fun, but too much information ruins the actual read. I knew what was going to happen for about the first 40% to where I felt I had already read the scenes.

The plot: The title is a lie. There really isn't a war. There's a lot of walking/talking again. The last battle I found confusing. If you're going to kill someone, kill them. The book was fine from 40% till the third to last chapter, but the last chapter. I hated ASITE because ASITE was gender-bent FBAA and that the last chapter of it was just an info dump and we are at where we are at the beginning of ASITE. That is just plain lazy. This is what the last chapter of this was and the reason I am teetering on 3-ish stars. Because of the poor pacing, not enough time was given to address Cas's trauma from being imprisoned again. I also wanted a conversation between Poppy/Kieran about the first time Cas was imprisoned. I wanted to talk about Elyasha, the love of Kieran's life who died. I wanted Kieran helping guide Poppy to help Cas in a moment that he could when Poppy couldn't (ie: he'd helped Cas the last time). A lot of Cas's attempts to discuss ended up being sexy. Yes, it's on-brand for him. He's a man of action, but I wanted more.

The Pronunciation Guide: Really? In Book 4? And that's seriously how you read those? SERAphina is Sera which is now SEE-RA. Can I buy a vowel, Vanna? Get out of there with that!

Grammar Issues: This isn't new. But the god Perus was now Perses? And OMG, the modern vernacular over-usage!! Make it stop. If I had been playing a drinking game, I'd be dead.

Tawny: How is this bitch still alive? Who or what is she or did JLA just throw out another rule that she made?

Kieran/Poppy Relationship: After reading some comments on the FBAA group and on Goodreads, I was decidedly nervous. I will say, after having read this now and formed my own opinion, I was shocked that people did the way they did. Granted, they are free to, but at no time did I find anything that remotely hinted at what they were saying, that it was "emotional cheating." First off, let's define what "emotional cheating" is: "Emotional cheating is a type of infidelity where one partner shares emotional intimacy and connection with someone other than their partner. This connection crosses the boundaries of a healthy, platonic relationship and assumes a breach of trust within the primary relationship."

Let's now examine this is the lens of FBAA where we are. We have Poppy, 19 years old, who has had her world turned upside in a brief period. Has lost her mother, father, father-figure, brother, best friend, and at this point her husband.

Kieran is Casteel's best friend/confidant and someone Cas implicitly trusts. He has also developed a friendship/trust/respect since AKOFAF.

I was hoping for a closer bond/relationship between the two of them, bonding over shared trauma. A trauma Kieran had been through before with Casteel to where he felt what his bonded was going through. There is a shared understanding, one I wrote two drabbles about before this story, actually.

Knowing this, who the hell was Poppy supposed to lean on? Who was Kieran supposed to express his own grief about the situation? Of COURSE, they were going to have an emotional connection! But at no point did I find it icky.

Under the first part of the above definition? We've all cheated emotionally. Who hasn't gone to their best girlfriends to bitch about their spouse or SO occasionally? There are some things you need to get out that aren't worth saying to your partner.

It's the second part of the definition that is the issue. In terms of the storyline, at no point was that line crossed IMHO.

That being said, I can understand why some people might have read into that with a few poorly executed scenes and pieces of dialogue. I will address these below and my interpretation:

-Tawny saying Kieran "acts like your husband." Regardless of how the bitch is alive, Tawny is a gossip and shit-stirrer. But it was a weird statement but from Tawny? Eh. :shrugs: Let's remember her teasing Poppy over Hawke calling her Princess.

-Kieran sleeping next to Poppy: Kieran knows she has nightmares. Kieran knows what she is going through. He was sleeping with her in his Wolven form. There is one scene where her nightmare woke him up and he found himself in mortal form. When that happens, they are usually nude. His need to comfort her outweighed his need for pants. He held her. At no point does he get aroused per Poppy. This was nothing sexual. Period. Also, Cas would have been livid if Poppy had a nightmare and no one was there to comfort her. And, out of everyone, he would trust Kieran to be that person.

-The feeding scene: This is the only scene that made me feel weird, but again, it was due to the way JLA executed the scene. Poppy needed to feed. Kieran fed her. Kieran would be the ONLY person besides himself that he would have allowed. There was a discussion about the implications of the feeding between the two of them. The feeding happened. We know memories can be shared between people during the feeding. Now Poppy saw the beach scene from TCOGB from Kieran. We know PoppyCas were watching Kieran getting a blowy and were aroused. Now we know Kieran was watching them, also enjoying. I had absolutely NO issue with this, tit for tat. The only reason I felt weird about was Kieran choosing that memory for her to see. It would have 100% been better if it had her stumbling across it and they were awkward afterward. But we also know Kieran loves to tease Poppy. It's the basis of their relationship. So, while I was a little confused? It wasn't like OMG YOU CHEATER! He wasn't doing it to quote "arouse" Poppy like I was seeing in reviews. Plus, you now know there was a mutual attraction (but again, poorly executed, especially since Kieran did it again when he fed her with Cas the second time). Overall, I love Kieran even more after this book. He was truly supportive, and I didn't see him crossing over lines. Again, this is my interpretation. I feel like a few poorly executed pieces of dialogue and scenes were the reason for the thought. But you are also free to interpret how you do. The Dark One: While he was my initial guess in FBAA and AKOFAF, per JLA's own damn rules in ASITE, it didn't work.

The Joining:

I'll preface this by saying I was 100% non-sexy Joining from AKOFAF. But, after the scenes in TCOGB and the copious amounts of teasers, I had resigned myself that it was going to happen. It happens in Ch. 44. There is a discussion and prep in 43 and the first half of 45 is aftercare if you would like to skip. -I knew there was going to have to be a reason to do it. But the reason after a few chapters seemed... weak? IDK. JLA is definitely one who makes rules and doesn't stick to them. -I appreciated the conversations between her and Cas before. There were boundaries established, openly, honestly discussed to ease any shame or confusion. Cas described the rules and requirements and made it clear nothing happens at all that Poppy wouldn't feel comfortable with. Period. End of story. And this was clearly a discussion between a husband/wife. -The ceremony was... decidedly confusing. This was even before the sexy scene. But we know it was going to be intimate, and it was. I appreciated Casteel made sure she wanted to do it even right before. -Poppy decided to cross that line. The boys kept it mostly professional until she said yes. There was consent. -The sex. Look, I'm not a prude and this isn't the first threesome I was going to read. But... :bangs head: Look if you're going to go for it, GO FOR IT. You already know you potentially alienated a group of readers. Just do the damn thing. I was so fucking confused about who was doing what. Do the detail or fade to black. I don't get it. Me during the scene:

That being said, it wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be. It could have been way better, but I didn't feel gross. I DO feel gross about JLA's playlist song choice for it though. (WAP? Really?) -The aftercare could have been better, but I appreciate Kieran snuggled, kissed Poppy's shoulder, and then left to give PoppyCas space and time to talk. They needed that. But Cas, you should have done more to your wife afterward. Cleaning her up, massaging her, worshipping her. Just saying. Overall, I didn't hate it. I like that they are willing to do it again if Kieran finds his person (though I think they should have waited until then, that's just my feeling). I think the biggest mistake JLA ever made was saying the Joining could be non-sexual. Just say it is sexual at the end. Then there wouldn't have been that confusion and people could have stopped books ago. The future relationship: I'm... not sure. Is it poly or monogamous? If it was poly, why not introduce things before? Why make PoppyCas heartmates if they were going to have a third? There are just many choices made that make little sense. To be honest, I think she wrote it intentionally vague because, despite what she says, I believe she goes with the flow of the fandom. And I was still on board with, okay, the Joining was sex between three partners. Lots of husbands and wives have threesomes, probably lots more than you think. That doesn't change their emotions and feelings for one another. It's just sex; it's not making love with feelings. And at the end of the Joining, I was fine. But then... Kieran is sleeping in their tent and now I'm... confused. I'm just hoping he needed to be near Cas after everything but... I honestly don't know. I would have been fine with a poly, but JLA made poor choices in designing a relationship, forming rules, and soulmates. Now let me address the fandom fuckery. Giving 1-star ratings when you don't read the book when you know it was going to happen in one way or another is ridiculous. Almost as much as a 5-star for a book that's not even out yet. I have my issues with JLA and what she posted on her pages regarding reader interpretation and her intent. I don't buy she didn't do fanservice. She's so active on the pages, there's no reason she isn't testing waters on there as she writes. I still don't buy this was what was intended from the beginning. This was going to be a trilogy. We are in no-plan, flying-by-the-seat-of-our-pants land. And if this was the initial intent? Again, poor execution and planning from the author. SJM is a master at world-building and exploring trauma. JLA is not. Her bread-and-butter is the character relationships. This is clear because the world itself is too convoluted and a mess. I didn't appreciate JLA's response and comments on the FBAA group, but I do think it's good that she takes a break from this. I feel like her books for the last 2 years have not been the best (starting with Grace and Glory). As someone who writes, write what you want. You can't give a shit if you are going to upset someone. Believe me, I know. Because losing one group, you might gain someone else. If your story is good enough, it's going to draw and repel others. That's the nature of the game. That being said, there is absolutely no room for poly bashing or bashing on relationships that don't fit your personal definition. nor is there room for any blatant threats in comments and reviews. I will never understand how people can't be adults, explain why they like or didn't in an adult fashion, and leave it at that. I guess perhaps being an ACOTAR fandom member had prepped me for this nonsense. So, those are my thoughts. I didn't love it, didn't hate it. There were good ideas, but not all well-executed or developed. It's not a literary masterpiece. If you read TCOGB and formed an opinion, I believe it's about that caliber. But I think the backlash, particularly those who are just giving 1-star reviews solely because of the Joining, are unfounded. I hope this helps. :shrug:

#twotq spoilers #twotq thoughts #twotq #jla #poppycas #joining thoughts #twotq review #fbaa spoilers #kieran contou thoughts #spoilers

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juminsmysticmc · 3 years

Note

Hii☺️So, we have RFA+Minor trio being single fathers after Mc's death, what about reversing it?So that Mc is a single mother after they died(

I waited really long to finally make a request and I am very excited right now, especially since it's you.I really love your writings and I read all of them for like a dozen of times and I can't get enough of them😍Thank you so much for your work and stay healthy 🙏🏻

Mc being a single mom after the RFA + Minor Trio died ( Trigger Warnings! )

Trigger Warnings, mention of death, parental death

RFA + Minor Trio as single fathers after Mc’s death (Parental death/ Trigger Warnings)

Did I mention that I like drama? Enjoy!

Jumin

You pressed your lips together as tears went down your cheek. The baby you just gave birth to was sleeping in Jaehee‘s arms as you sobbed into Zen‘s embrace.

,,It‘s as if he planned everything,“ you sobbed, making your red haired friend shake with his head.

,,When he found out you were pregnant, he made me do all this. He didn’t plan to die a month after the birth of your baby, really, he just feared that if something happened to him, his father would have acted the way he did,“ Seven explained.

The reason why you were currently staying over at Jaehee‘s place was that Jumin died a week ago. One day you let him go out of the front door, still smiling as he kissed your newborn, and not even half an hour later, you found yourself in the hospital.

Someone shot him.

And as if it wasn’t enough, your father in law tried to take away your baby, saying that he had to give his grandchild a better life.

But Jumin, even in heaven, saved you once again, saving a lot of money and having an external saving method thanks to Seven.

He even left behind a letter to his father filled with lies, explaining that the baby wasn’t his child.

Of course everything was a lie, but this lie made it possible for you to see your baby grow up.

,,I can’t even go to my husband’s-” your words died in tears.

,,He will always look over you, Mc, and we’ll help you. It will all be better soon…“ Zen patted your back. He too was mourning for his friend.

Zen

,,Mommy, do I really look like daddy?“ your youngest girl asked you as she brushed her long white hair.

You gulped as you looked over to your oldest daughter.

Her eyes were again filled with tears.

Zen died two years ago, leaving you behind with three wonderful children.

You had to give up your job as manager and instead began to work part time in a restaurant at night and other little jobs while the girls were at school.

,,Daddy… I don‘t even remember him,“ your middle child hissed as she entered the room.

,,I don’t even know him, that’s worse!“ your youngest began to sob.

She indeed looked like Zen. He would have been proud to see her beauty.

Well, he was proud of every daughter he had. He loved them with all his heart.

,,Trust me, I would rather not remember him than live with memories,“ your oldest daughter Mina hissed as she put down her lipstick and rushed out.

You sighed as you looked at your little family.

You were all sleeping in one single room. No one had their own space and instead they all argued with each other whenever they had the chance.

,,You’re always so negative, MINA!“ your middle child Hana hissed, followed by the youngest, Sera.

,,I HATE YOU GUYS! HE DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!“ she screamed, making your heart stop.

Mina glared at her and fell on her feet as she began to scream a loud, high pitched scream.

,,SERA RYU!“ you screamed.

The house died down as only sniffles were heard.

,,Your father died when the three of you caught a virus. He was trying to go to the shop for some medicine, but that doesn’t mean that one of you is at fault, understand?“ you hissed.

You sat down and began to cry yourself as you called them over into your arms, ready to embrace your crying children.

,,No one is at fault. Please, please don’t fight, girls, your father would be devastated to see that,“ you begged.

,,Sera, you do look like dad,“ Mina sobbed and smiled, making your youngest smile brightly.

Yoosung

Your son finally fell asleep after a long crying session.

Nothing hurt you more than consoling your son who was in deep pain because he got bullied at school for not having a father.

Yoosung died six months ago, making you move into a tinier apartment which led to your son attending another school.

However, you regretted every single decision.

You pulled your phone out as you tried to dry your salty tears.

You entered a new chatroom as you asked for help.

,,What happened? Shall I come over?“ Jumin responded, being the first one online.

,,I can come quicker, I‘m omw,“ Zen shortly afterwards responded.

,,No no, I just…

Can you please bring Jinyoung to school tomorrow? He got bullied… I think if other children see him with you guys, they will respect him more,“ you wrote.

Of course Seven jumped in and wrote six lines about how happy he would be to play ⅓ of a father, making you actually choke on your tears.

,,Thank you,“ you typed and decided to bring your son to bed.

Indeed the three boys kept their promise, making him laugh like never before.

Jaehee

,,And that‘s how we met,“ you laughed as you told your son about the meeting between you and Jaehee.

He nodded as he looked at the picture over the table.

It portrayed you, him, and Jaehee on his first day of school.

Jaehee died a year ago from an illness.

It all went so quickly. One day she got diagnosed and a few months later the two of you prepared the funeral for her.

As if it was yesterday, you remembered picking up your son and driving him to the hospital to give Jaehee the chance to see him one last time.

And indeed, it was their last goodbyes.

Jaehee would never see him finishing school, university, or begin a job, fall in love, or try to cheer him up while being lovesick.

She would never see him get married or have his first child.

It hurt your heart to know that you were the only one left for him.

On the other side, Jaehee was happy that at least he had you. ,,How did your favorite TikTok go?“ she groaned.

,,Take him to the moon for me,“ she whispered.

,,Mom was a strong woman,“ you told your son as a tear left your eye.

,,You too, Mommy, you too.“

Saeyoung

You sighed as you turned off your alarm to get off the bed.

It was still dark outside, but you had to wake up with the last strength you had. You pulled yourself together and walked back to the kitchen where you prepared some breakfast for your child.

Like every morning, reality hit you as you silently sobbed while putting some rice into the bento box.

Your hands trembled as you looked up, just to gasp for air and keep going.

It was hard ever since Saeyoung died. Things weren’t going well for you.

You thanked God daily for the remaining person you had, that you had friends and family who supported you.

But you also begged God to make this bad life end. Even though it was selfish, you just wanted to see your family again.

Even if Jaehee often tried to make you understand how lucky you were, even at the times where Jumin promised to help you with the medical expenses, even at those times when Yoosung came over to cook dinner, and even at those times when Zen promised to go with your and your child to the park, you just wanted this to end.

You inhaled again and dried your tears as you made yourself a cup of coffee.

,,Good morning, baby,’’ you whispered as you turned on the lights of your son’s room.

,,Mo….m,’’ the boy groaned, probably in pain as you helped him get up to sit on his wheelchair.

,,Wet…’’ he gasped as you noticed that he wet his bed again.

,,It’s okay, baby, don’t worry,’’ you smiled, pushing the chair through the door, passing at the picture of Saeyoung, Saeran, and your two perfectly healthy children.

That day, Saeyoung didn’t just die in a car accident from speeding, he also took his brother and one of your children with him, leaving you with your second son disabled by the accident.

,,It’s okay,’’ you whispered.

Saeran

You looked up to the ceiling as you felt a warm, little hand on your chest.

Turning your head, you could see how relaxed the face of your daughter was as she slept safely and soundly, not worrying about anything or anyone.

You smiled as you saw how much she resembled Saeran, her father.

Your hand moved to stroke her head as you remembered the day you told him that you were pregnant, how he cared for you and his daughter in the pregnancy, how hard labor was, and how emotional it was when he once again decided to save his brother after seeing his own daughter.

,,He would be happy to see her,’’ he said after she was newly born and he was finally allowed to hold her in his embrace.

As if it was yesterday, you remembered how he taught her to walk, how he stood behind her while going to the park and how much he loved to feed her.

This all disappeared one day.

In the morning, he told you that he might have found Saeyoung and in the evening he came home, beaten up with a shotgun wound, collapsing in front of your porch.

It was your worst nightmare and you were honestly happy that this all happened at night, knowing that back then, your three year old daughter wouldn’t have seen anything.

Ever since then, life became harder.

You moved, fearing the Prime Minister or the agency Saeyoung was in would track you down and kill your daughter. The RFA kept helping you guys, but questions like, ,,Where is Dada’’ weren’t always easy to respond to.

,,Mommy,’’ she mumbled and opened her eyes, smiling brightly at you and rubbing her eyes to wake up.

,,Mhhh?’’ you asked her.

,,Daddy visited my dreams…’’ she giggled and fell asleep again, making you wander back to old memories too.

Jihyun

,,Mom, I don’t understand my homework,’’ Lucy said, whispering as she entered the room as quietly as possible.

You looked back to her and nodded as you looked back to the little bed your son was in before you walked away, your hand on Lucy’s hair as you smiled at her.

,,What topic?’’ you asked her.

You noticed that she was hesitating so it was probably art since it was related to her father.

,,Art?’’ you asked her to make it easier for her. She had a pretty hard time ever since Jihyun died, well, you too. You all had a pretty hard time.

Jumin wasn’t the same person anymore, or so Jaehee said. Yoosung seemed to regret a few things, and Saeran and Saeyoung were grieving, just like Zen.

Everyone was in pain after the painful death of that one special person.

,,Our teacher told us to draw a painful happy moment but… how am I supposed to make something happy if it’s supposed to be painful?’’ she asked you.

You nodded. ,,Well, describe something painful. What is painful?’’ you asked her.

,,Getting hurt is painful, falling is painful, getting hit is painful…’’

,,How about losing someone?’’ you asked her, making her think about it for a few seconds before she asked you if it wasn’t something sad instead of painful.

You nodded. ,,When I told you that daddy wouldn’t come home anymore back then when you were younger, do you remember how you felt?’’ you asked her.

,,Did your heart hurt? Did you feel scared and suffocated? Wasn’t it painful?’’ you asked her and even though you could see that she was tearing up, you knew that this was something the two of you had to talk about.

Indeed, Lucy closed up about her feelings ever since then, but this was also a good opportunity.

,,Now, think of a happy moment with your father. Isn’t it something painful but a happy moment as well?’’ you asked her and got up, knowing that she knew what to do.

A week later, you were invited to see your daughter receive a prize for the most beautiful portrait of Jihyun as an angel looking down at the world, a painful and happy moment for everyone who knew him.

Vanderwood

,,Mommy,’’ your son asked you, pulling at your shirt as you stood in front of the stove.

,,Mhhh?’’ you asked him without looking as you were cooking.

,,Why did Daddy leave us?’’ he asked you out of the blue, making you stop everything and look at him.

,,The fish is burning,’’ he suddenly said as he saw the flames, making you shriek and quickly take care of everything.

After everything was taken care of, you took him in your arms and showed him a few pictures of his father.

For now, you never showed him his father. You never dared to speak about Vanderwood, fearing that your son wouldn’t understand your words, but by now you learned that he was much stronger than you ever thought.

,,This is your father, Vanderwood. He didn’t leave because he wanted to, he was kind of forced to,’’ you told him, gulping down the bad feeling you had as your heart began to beat quickly.

,,And why is he gone?’’ he asked you, softly touching the picture of a cool looking brown haired man.

This was on the day you two went to eat after you craved a salad and ice cream.

,,He had an important job to do,’’ you explained. Of course you didn’t tell him that the agency tracked him down and killed him brutally while he tried to keep you, his heavily pregnant, hidden.

,,And what is he doing now?’’ he kept asking you as you remembered the day, as if it was yesterday, when he pushed you into the closet, begging you to close your ears and never come out until called you.

However, that call never came. Instead, Saeyoung pulled you out moments later. You didn’t remember how much time passed.

You just knew that he asked you to keep your eyes closed as he led the way out of the room.

,,He is now protecting you, me, uncle Saeyoung, uncle Saeran, uncle Jumin, uncle Zen, uncle Yoosung and aunt Jaehee,’’ you answered with a smile.

How much he would have loved to meet his son, you were sure.

He was your happiness after all, the last memento of Vanderwood.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

26.07.2021// 00:13 MEST

147 notes · View notes

lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Insatiable. ( Jungkook x Oc) Chapter 3

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC! Age difference!!! [ bet you’ve never seen all of this in one fic before? ]

[ Some notes : Born Vampires stop aging when they turn twenty five. Turned vampires stop aging when they’re turned. ]

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

“So, you guys looked pretty cozy in the garden.” Somi pursed her lips, disapproval evident on her sharp features as she watched me hop around, trying to pull the pantyhose up over the fleshiest part of my thigh. It was just a little past six thirty and I already wanted the night to end.

“He was telling me how he wanted me to have babies so his son could play with them.” I snapped.

Somi blinked.

“And uh..is he providing the baby batter?” She said drily and I laughed.

“I think..... he’s attracted to me.” I said dreamily, remembering the way he’d definitely gotten hard at breakfast this morning.

“I mean, he’s a straight guy with eyes? Not surprising....” My sister grinned.

“No, I mean... like actually physically attracted. I felt it too. it made me want to do something unholy with him.” I muttered, eyes misting over at the idea of being spread out on his bed. Satin sheets underneath my body, the weight of his body on mine.

“He’s a vampire. Pretty sure anything you do with him is unholy.” She winked. I sighed, running a hand over my face.

“Are you sure this is the way to go? “ I glanced at the robin blue off shoulder gown. I was wary of drawing attention to my neck, especially with a Kim.

“It’s beautiful. Besides, it is your color. I want to see the look on Jungkook’s face when he sees you. Want to see him regret all his life choices.”

“i thought you didn’t approve of him.” i said amused.

“I didn’t at first. But then you told me he rejected you and well, no one does that to my baby sister,” She glared and I hugged her close, placing a kiss on her forehead.

I hesitated.

“Would it be too terrible if I tried to seduce him?” I bit my lips.

Somi’s eyes widened.

“Sera...”

“Just hear me out.” I said urgently.

She sighed.

“Somi, I’ve never been with a man. I just... I can’t get married as a virgin ..I absolutely refuse to. And I sure as hell don’t want to give it up to one of these pompous little brats who act like utter douchebags. So what am I supposed to do? Now, Jungkook ..” I paused, taking a deep breath to steady my pulse which raced every time I thought about him,. “ ...he’s...he’s so gentle. And nice and I just... I think he’ll make it good for me.”

I felt my face flame, half certain there was steam coming out of my ears.

Somi looked slightly slack jawed.

“Oh..um.. okay.” She laughed nervously. “ And how are you goig to get him to agree to this?”

“Beg? .... I don’t know...” I groaned. “ What do you think?”

Somi hesitated.

“I think, for now you should concentrate on showing him that you’re not a child. So , do well tonight. At the dinner. Be polite courteous ... make good conversation... he’s going to be nearby right? Let him see you as an equal... I think he needs to trust that you guys are on equal footing before he will consider anything more ....”

I stared at her, my mind racing.

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” I kissed her again. “i love you. Now get my make up on.” I said excitedly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For all that I wanted Jungkook to be slack jawed when he saw me, it was my own jaw that came unhinged when I opened the door to the hallway at exactly 7.00 PM

I stared, my eyes literally popping out of their sockets when i took in the absolute fucking vision he looked like.

Tight, fitted leather pants that molded to his legs , putting those deliciously muscled thighs on display, so tight on his crotch that my mouth watered . A dark belt, cinched tight around his ridiculously slim waist and he’d paired it with a blue silk shirt , that flowed around his torso like water. A thin black and blue striped tie hung around his neck, knotted loose and the end brushing past his waistline and a small silver earring dangled from his earlobes, catching the light of the lamp in the hallway.

My throat went dry as I stared at him.

And then i squinted.

Oh God, was that a nipple?

Nope. Not doing this today .

“Please excuse me!” I said hoarsely, voice cracking and face flushing red as I turned right back around , wrenched the huge oak door open and all but flew into the safety of my room before slamming the door shut in his face.

I sank to the floor in a heap, pressing a palm to my heart, trying to calm my pulse which had shot up so much. Somi stared at me from where she was putting away her cosmetics, eyebrows raised in surprise,.

“What’s wrong?” She asked worried.

“I think I just came untouched.” I whispered, staring at her with wide eyes.

Her eyes widened and her lips twisted in disgust.

“Oh my god, you horny little pervert!!! Get up from the floor, you’re wrinkling the dress!!”

I breathed rapidly, trying to get my brain to function but the sight of Jeon Jungkook’s nipples covered only by a thin silk shirt was burned into my mind.

i had never wanted to lick something so bad.

The knock on the door made me jump.

“Sera? Are you alright?” Jungkook’s voice called from the corridor and I whimpered.

“I can’t do this... Please... i can’t.... don’t make me..” I begged.

My sister gave me a glare and stalked over grabbing my arm and dragging me up with ease.

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s not like you’ve never seen Jungkook before, how hot could-” She pulled the door open and froze in place, her eyes going wide as saucers, lips parting in surprise as she stared at Jungkook.

“ Fuck me ..” She whispered softly, clearly having lost all her senses at the sight of him. I elbowed her hard, trying not to burst into tears. .

Jungkook frowned.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing!! Nothing...she’s just excited that I’m finally dating again!!” I laughed cheerfully.

Jungkook glanced between the pair of us, a small frown on his face but he didn’t question me further.

“Should we go?” He prompted and I smiled, wide.

Just don’t look at him. Don’t look at him and you’ll be fine.

I kept my gaze straight ahead as we walked down the corridor.

“You look nice.” He commented casually and I swallowed.

“You look.....” decadent...like the kind of dessert I’d be tasting for hours... please let me lick your nipples...”.different.” I squeezed my eyes, willing myself to calm down but it was impossible. I swelled and ached in all the wrong places and my thighs trembled with the effort not to rub them together. My insides clenched, arousal dampening the bikini briefs I had on and i had to bite my lips to resist the urge to climb him like a tree and grind down on his thighs till I came.

fuck.

“ Your father mentioned that it would be better if i blended in with the other patrons. He thinks it would make your date more comfortable if I didn’t hover around in black like a ghoul. “ He laughed.

“ Ahahahahah....” i laughed shrilly, barely listening to a word he said because I was having a mental breakdown.

I glanced to the front of his chest again, a quick sharp glance and yup.....those were certainly a pair of nipples, the nub hard and obvious through the silk of his shirt.

Jungkook left to get the car and i stood at the entrance to the mansion, shivering lightly. The small fur throw i had on my shoulder was more for decoration than to keep warm and the night was chilly.

By the time Jungkook brought the black Bugatti around, I was shaking.

“Ooh... That’s a fancy car.” I commented , heart racing with how handsome he looked, gripping the steering wheel and he smiled.

“It’s Namjoon’s . I thought you’d like to arrive in style today.” He grinned.

I climbed in quickly, eager to get out of the biting wind. The interior was warm and cozy and i moaned, relaxing into the seats.

“You look really good.” He said again, gaze flitting over me with a little more intent and I blushed.

“You mentioned.” I whispered.

“I see you in those godawful t shirts and stained jeans all the time and you’re usually just cleaning spill ups or washing baby bottles at the daycare so i keep forgetting .” He shook his head, thoughtfully, fixing the mirrors and glancing back.

“Forgetting what?” i asked confused.

“That you are literally the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

He said it casually, no fervent ardor behind his words .

Just a matter of fact observation and somehow, the words felt like liquid heat being poured into me.

it stuck me then, that I would give my entire life and soul to be on this date with Jungkook. To have dinner with him, to listen to him talk about himself. To tell him everything about myself. To just sit there, staring into his gorgeous face. Hold his hands over the dinner table and gaze into his eyes.

I’m so in love with you.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” I said softly.

“Yeah? I clean up good, don’t I?” He tilted his head, hair falling into his eye as he winked at me , a small smirk on his cherry red lips.

I glanced away quickly, because staring at Jungkook was like staring into the fucking sun.

staring at him made my eyes hurt.

And it also broke my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Sera....” Mingyu had a very familiar look on his face. A hungry, lustful , disbelieving look that I was altogether familiar with.

I managed a weak smile in return, letting him hug me , wincing when he buried his nose into my neck, breathing in my scent like he was starving. And the honest truth was, I didn’t even blame him . Control came with age and Mingyu was way too young to have full control over his instincts. And I knew exactly what my scent did to a vampire’s instincts.

But still, the grip on my waist was bruising and I was having a hard time breathing. I tried to push him away , a bit but Mingyu merely moaned, nosing in deeper.

“You smell amazing.” He sounded punch drunk .

Over his shoulders, I caught Jungkook’s gaze as he sat at the table next to us. He was frowning deeply.

“You okay?” He mouthed and I nodded. it was way too early to pull the plug on this. We hadn’t even sat down for dinner yet.

I grabbed the arm around me hard and dug my nails into the skin. That made him recoil, pulling away with a wide eyed look of horror on his face.

“Oh.,..Oh God... I’m so sorry.. I didn’t mean too... I’m so sorry...” he apologized over and over again but I could see the way his eyes flashed red, every few seconds. His hands trembled and shook like he couldn’t wait to get them on me again and my skin crawled at the very prospect of it.

The guy had zero control. He couldn’t keep his shit together for a dinner date in public.

My mind flashed to Jungkook, how he’d barely batted an eyelash even while he was literally drinking from me and by contrast Mingyu looked like a snot faced, sniveling brat , desperate to have something he wasn’t entitled too.

I sighed in defeat, tamping down the urge to cry.

I hated this. Hated men like Mingyu who couldn’t see past what I was. Who couldn’t think past the idea that they would finally be able to drink from me, if they got me on a date.

“It’s alright. Should we order?” I said softly, my voice shaking just a little. i jumped when water spilled over my hands, Mingyu having knocked his glass over while reaching for the menu.

“Oh..Oh no.. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry...” He stood up, trying to grab the glass but the water had already spilled across the table dripping over the edge to my dress.

My brand new, Dior dress.

I turned, letting my horrified, miserable eyes flit to Jungkook.

I blinked, shocked at what I was seeing.

Jungkook was laughing, hard.

I fought the urge to grin myself as he grinned, shaking his head in disbelief, fingers pressed against his lips in sheer disbelief.

Well, I suppose it was a little funny.

Mingyu was on his feet, bowing over an over again muttering about how beautiful I was and how sorry he was and I decided to put him out of his misery.

Standing up, I bowed politely and stepped away.

“Mingyu ssi.... I think we should postpone this to another day.” I said gently.

He glanced at me, his eyes flashing red again and gaze dropping to my neck. Oh, for god’s sake.

“Can I have a taste though?” He said hopefully, holding a hand out to touch me and I flinched when his fingers closed on my wrist. .He yanked hard and I shrieked when his fangs came out, ready to sink into my skin.

Jungkook materialized between us like he’d been conjured out of thin air. He grabbed Mingyu’s wrist, squeezing till the younger boy howled in pain and yanked him back so hard I heard something pop in his shoulder. .

“Hands to yourself, Young Mr. Kim. I believe the lady said she would like to call it a night.” Jungkook growled into his face and Mingyu flushed.

“Yes..Yes of course.. As you wish, Ms. Hwang. Can I have your number? “ He whispered and oh god, this was just so excruciatingly embarrassing for everyone right now..

Jungkook stared down at him like he was an insect he’d accidently stepped on.

“You have to the count of five to get the fuck out of here kid.” He said drily.

Mingyu flushed even redder, bowing to me once more before grabbing his jacket and scarpering away.

I stared after him, completely stunned.

“Can you believe he’s going to be a lawyer?” I whispered.

Jungkook’s eyes met mine.

We both started laughing at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This can’t be real. I refuse to believe, that what I witnessed was real.” Jungkook shook his head in disbelief as we waited for the valet to bring the car around.

I chuckled.

“You know what's actually unbelievable? But true?” I said softly.

Jungkook stared at me, eyebrows raised.

“That is actually, not the worst first date I’ve had.” I admitted , grimacing.

“Oh good god. “ He flinched.

The valet arrived and I watched Jungkook head over to the driver side, before climbing in myself. I scrubbed the water stains on my dress after putting on the seat belt. Jungkook reached over, fixing something on my side of the dashboard and I held my breath as his shoulders brushed my breasts, the scent of his cologne filling my brain and turning it to mush.

“so, what happened?” He asked settling back and I blinked.

“huh?”

“Worst first date?” He prompted , pulling the car out into the driveway.

“Oh... oh yeah. Freshman year of college. Agreed to date one guy...turned up at a hotel, he had three of his friends over.” I swallowed. “ They nearly killed me.”

The car nearly veered off the pathway, Jungkook having gripped the steering wheel too hard and jolted it to the side.

“Sera- what? The sheer horror in his voice was palpable.

“ They wanted a taste and I was an idiot back then I said okay just a taste for each of you...they were young...couldn’t control themselves .... so they just get drinking and well, I can usually let someone drink from me for a long time because my blood it sort of regenerates fast enough but...three people at the same time... I almost got exsanguinated.”

“Jesus fuck.! tell me those bastards are dead...” He snarled.

“My dad got them de-fanged.” I whispered. Jungkook flinched away as well. Being de-fanged was pretty much a death sentence because you couldn’t feed anymore.

“Serves them right. Three of them...what the fuck.” Jungkook shook his head, jaw clenched.

i swallowed.

“It’s kind of why I haven’t been with any Vampires. After that my dad got really protective of me and well, he doesn’t like the idea of me meeting strangers. I was actually pre med back then. I couldn’t handle it. I quit and well, dad hired tutors for me and I got my degree in Childcare. And that’s okay. I love kids..” I laughed.

“You’re amazing with them. I’ve never seen Joowon this happy.” He said gently.

“Its why I prefer staying with the clan. Only my family gets to feed from me occasionally because I don’t trust strangers to bite me, because they could lose control.”

The moment I said it, I regretted it. Jungkook’s eyes bore into me and i knew exactly what he was thinking. I didn’t trust people. Didn’t let anyone drink from me.

And yet, I’d let Jungkook drink from me. He wasn’t family. He wasn’t even a friend.

But he didn’t bring it up. instead he just sighed.

“It’s not an excuse, you know. “ Jungkook said softly.

“Hmm?”

“Being young, its no excuse. I’m not a born vampire which makes my instincts more potent and even dangerous but even in the first few months when I was turned... I never attacked anyone. Self control is a choice. That dude you met today... I doubt he gave a shit about you. Bastard just wanted a taste.... Could fucking see it in his eyes.” Jungkook sounded righteously upset on my behalf.

“Now you know why I’m attracted to you.” I said softly.

Jungkook froze.

“Sera, -”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” I said quickly, hating myself.

Jungkook didn’t reply.

Cursing myself for ruining the mood, I cleared my throat.

“I still don’t have to be home for a couple of hours. We could go somewhere else...” I suggested softly.

Jungkook gave me a small smile.

“I’m your bodyguard, Sera. If you choose to go somewhere , I’m kind of obligated to follow you.” He reminded me.

I flushed.

“Right.....yeah...yeah. of course.” I stumbled over the words, so reminiscent of Mingyu that I felt a little sick.

“So where to, Ms. Hwang?” He said casually.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“People can’t stop staring at us tonight .” Jungkook grumbled, glaring at a couple who had stopped their bicycles, just to gawk at him.

I laughed, tugging on his sleeve to pull him to a more secluded spot of the river bank, both of us looking distinctly out of place in a crowd of people dressed in comfortable clothes.

I hugged myself, watching the waves lap the river bank as I sat on a rickety wooden bench, a few dozen feet away from the water’s edge . The river looked especially picturesque today, reflecting the incandescent lights from Seoul’s skyline.

“It’s because we’re dressed like we’re presenting at the Oscars.” I grinned at him and Jungkook’s lips quirked in a small smile. He stood by, glancing around at the people watching by, occasionally at the river as well.

“This is nice. Do you come here often?” He asked , eyes skimming the city’s skyline , as he stuck his hands into his pockets.

I hummed.

“Sometimes. With Somi or Jimin. They like those ice lollies you get down the road.” I smiled. “ I brought the kids here one weekend and they had a lot of fun.”

Jungkook laughed.

“I bet they did. I should bring Joowon here someday.” He said thoughtfully.

“ I could pack you guys some lunch. Make it a picnic. “ I suggested and his gaze shifted to me thoughtful.

“That won’t be necessary Ms. Hwang. I’m sure one of the cooks will be able to do it.” He said evenly and I tried not to let the words sting.

“Of course.” I turned back to the river.

For a few minutes we didn’t say anything.

“Where were you? Before moving to Seoul?” I asked quietly.

Jungkook hesitated before moving around to settle next to me on the bench.

“Busan.” He said , staring out into the distance. “ I worked for a warlock there . For five decades nearly. His daughter was part vampire , part witch and well... I was lonely. “ His face showed a whole lot of regret, “ She had Joowon five years ago and tried to offer him as a blood sacrifice or something when he was born.” He grimaced.

“She what?” I said stunned.

He ran a palm over his face

"I didn’t want to do it but I had to kill her. Joowon was three months old and well, I had to quit my job soon after. Moved to one of the smaller villages nearby. Your father paid for my food and lodging. He wanted me to come over to the clan at once but I didn’t want to be a freeloader. When your father suggested you needed protecting, i thought it would be a good way to pay him back for everything.” He sighed.

“Did you know who I was?”

He gave me a look.

“Every Vampire with a dick knows who you are.” He said ith a dry smile and I flushed, looking away.

“Jungkook...”

“The most desirable of humans. The perfect mate. The unsullied jewel of the Hwang clan.”

He was laughing now, eyes warm and fond in the fading light of dusk and I found myself completely bewitched.

“Unsullied....” I shook my head. “ I can’t believe people know I’m a virgin.”

Next to me Jungkook went completely still.

I turned to him and there was no mistaking the stunned look on his face.

“What?!” I said feeling like my face was on fire. “ I told you I’ve never been with a Vampire.”

“I didn’t think you meant... “ He stopped, swallowing. “ Anyways its none of my business. Let’s talk about something else.”

Something wicked began to stir inside me.

“I’m saving it for the right man.” I said softly. And then I turned to stare right at him, long enough to get the point across.

He stiffened a bit more.

So i barreled on.

“These bumbling fools who can’t string two words together in my presence....They don’t deserve someone like me, don’t you think?” I prompted.

He swallowed again and I felt a sort of vindictive satisfaction. Just knowing that I affected him possibly just as much as he affected me. It soothed my bruised ego a bit, the way he refused to meet my eyes now, making up for his brutal rejection earlier. .

“I deserve someone amazing, don’t you think Jungkook?” I pressed on and he finally looked at me, eyes blazing.

“Only the best for you, princess.” He muttered holding my gaze. and I tried to ignore the way the nickname made warmth bloom all over my skin.

“Yes. Only the best. I don’t want any of these younglings with their fumbling hands and stammering words. I want a man. Someone who knows how to put me in my place.”

Jungkook gripped the bench hard the old wood splintering under his strength and I bit my lips.

“Someone who can be gentle, show me what I’ve been missing out on. Show me how good it can be with the right person, who can get me wet and wanting without even touching me...”

He exhaled sharply at that

“We should probably get-” he moved to get up but i was quicker. .

Not so fast, Mr. Jeon.

I scrambled over to him, climbing his lap and grinding down on him, before he could fully realize what I was doing. The impact took him by surprise and he grunted, settling back on the neck and hands gripping my thigh to stop me from toppling over.

“Sera-what” he looked furious but i pressed a palm to his mouth.

“Are you going to pretend you don’t understand what I’m asking for?” I demanded, heart pounding against my ribcage as I looped his tie over the wrist of my other hand, once , twice, giving it a yank so he had to bend over, his lips inches away from mine.

“And exactly what are you asking for, princess ?” He whispered, his breath warm against my lips.

“A teacher. Someone who can show me the ropes.”

“Ropes? For your first time....oh baby, you sure?” His eyes danced with mirth.

Not entirely sure what he was implying, I just stared back at him.

“You can do it. You can be my first. “ I brushed my lips against his, softly. it was barely a touch, hardly a kiss.

Jungkook stared at me, his hands lightly squeezing my thighs for one second, before falling to his sides again.

“The only first I’m going to be, is the first man to toss you into a fucking river, if you don’t get off me right now , Princess.” He said casually.

I stared at him, refusing to budge and he stood up anyway

i yelped, nearly landing on my butt before i managed to catch my balance.

He made to walk away but i grabbed his arm, pulling him close. And it was ridiculous, the fact that he came closer, the fact that he let me grab his wrist, bring them up to my waist.

“Please kiss me.” I begged.

“You don’t want this.” He said softly, hands rising up to brush the hair off my forehead and I gripped his shoulders levering myself up to press a kiss to his lips.

It was quick, over before it even began.

“That’s the only kind of kiss I’ve ever had. “ I said desperately “ It was a boy in college. He kissed me like that and then he asked me if he could bite me. I refused and he never talked to me again....”

“Sera...” He looked stricken and miserable and I let my fingers flutter to his collar, gripping it hard and yanking on it, feeling angry and upset and altogether miserable.

How ridiculous...that men all over the country tripped over themselves to be with me and yet here I was, reduced to a pathetic begging mess just for one measly kiss from this man.....

“ I want to be kissed. I don’t know how it feels to be kissed..to be wanted for something other than the blood that flows in my veins.... I just want someone to kiss me because they want to...because I’m beautiful and precious and i deserve to be kissed and -”

Fingers clamped over my arms, gipping me hard and almost lifting me off the ground as Jungkook pulled me up, my eyes fluttering shut just as his lips closed over mine, soft and tender and warm and wet and so delicious I couldn’t stop the moan that slipped out.

I let my hands fall to his chest, the soft smooth silk of his shirt felt like heaven underneath my fingers and through the thin fabric i could feel his heart, pounding against his ribcage. I ran my fingers over his torso, the strong muscles flexing beneath my fingers and my fingers crept up to grip his upper arm, the coiled strength in his bicep making my legs quiver.

He tasted like mint , his tongue licking the seam of my lips and begging entrance and my lips parted in surprise, the sensation so new and electrifying.

I gasped when I felt his tongue tangling with mine as he pressed in closer. I groaned , almost forgetting to breathe when Jungkook’s lower lips brushed mine, his teeth tugging the plump flesh of my lips harshly , biting down gently and my lips parted, giving him better access. He was so warm and strong and big and i couldn’t get enough of him, my body wanting nothing more than to stay pressed against his for the rest of our lives.

He used slow, subtle strokes of his tongue to taste me, gentle licks that made my head swim and it felt like I was drowning, in the heady taste of him . I felt weak as a kitten, my fingers scrambling up to grip his hair, tangling in the silky black locks, gripping to ground myself and i accidentally yanked a little too hard making him pull back, a little.

He laughed gently, right against my lips, the sound sexy and arousing and I groaned, chasing the taste of him and Jungkook obliged, nipping my lips again with his teeth , soft little pin pricks of pain and pleasure, before laving the abused skin with his tongue. His hand came up to cup my cheek, holding me in place as he kissed me deeper .

I could feel myself go weak in the knees, stumbling into him and he wrapped one arm around my waist holding my body up as he nibbled and teased and drove me insane with his touch.

Jungkook’s hand slipped, from my cheek, down to my neck, his fingers brushing back and forth on my bare shoulder before moving down, lightly gently brushing my breast .

I melted, gasping as he shaped the swell of my breast with his hand, thumb rubbing gently against the tip till my nipples pebbled up and I felt a sob build up, pulling away from him to catch my breath, gripping him hard and burying my face in his shoulders, overwhelmed and shaking.

“Darling... you alright?” Jungkook whispered, hands reaching up to stroke the back of my head and i clung to him, wrecked.

“Please don’t let me go.” I panicked when he made to move away and he froze at once, drawing me closer, hugging me tighter.

“I’m right here princess. You’re going to be okay.” His voice rumbled through my body and I willed myself to stop shaking but i couldn’t.

“What did you do to me...?” I asked hoarsely, my body thrumming.

He laughed, voice low and tinkling.

“I kissed you. You begged me to kiss you and I obliged.” He teased.

I shook my head against the fabric of his shirt, clutching his waist harder.

“That was not a kiss.” I snapped. “ That was...That was....attempted murder.”

Jungkook laughed harder at that,

“Take deep breaths, darling. Relax.... You’re going to be okay. Just catch your breath you’ll be fine.” He kissed the top of my head, gentle and fond and I closed my eyes.

“I need a few more minutes.” I said softly.

“ I’m right here. “ He whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook turned the car off and we both sat in the silence, staring straight ahead into the murky waters of the river. I was still in shock, my brain rendered entirely useless from one single kiss.

He had kissed me senseless.

Literally.

“I can’t give you what I want.” He said gently.

I bit my lips.

“I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give.” I whispered.

He made a sound, a sharp little exhale.

“Fuck, Sera...you’re killing me.” He swore.

I clenched my fists. I was so scared, that this would be yet another rejection and I just knew that I couldn’t live without his kisses. Not now, when I knew just how amazing they were.

“I’m serious. I... I won’t ask you to court me or do any of that serious stuff. Just.. Just want you to touch me. Keep touching me. And kissing me. ” I finished stupidly.

Jungkook laughed a little.

“God, you’re so young... I feel like the worst kind of man for wanting this so fucking much.”

I felt my heart soar at that. it was the first time he’d acknowledged wanting me and i reveled in it.

“If we’re going to do this, I need you to understand exactly what you’re getting into.” He said softly.

I felt my heart begin to pound, a steady thrum that was so loud in my ears that I couldn’t fathom how he couldn’t hear it.

“This is going to be physical. Only physical. I don’t want you to dream of something that isn't going to happen. “ He said sternly.

I nodded.

It sounded like a recipe for a disastrous heartbreak but if i could get more kisses like the one I’d just had.... well, maybe I could deal with it when it happened.

“I’m the one who gets to decide when , where and how.” He turned to look at me and I met his gaze. “ i won’t have you trying to climb me in the mansion in front of everyone.”

i flushed.

“Fine. “ I snapped.

“You don’t stop meeting your potential suitors. You don’t turn them down without cause.”

I groaned.

“Jungkook...” i began but he held a hand up.

“Not all of them are going to be incompetents fools, Sera. There’s a guy out there good enough for you. “ He insisted , “ I’ll warm your bed till you find him, because you’re beautiful and I’m fucking weak” He shook his head, laughing without mirth, “ but... I won’t have you ruining your chances of making a worthy match. “

I nodded.

“Alright. Anything you say.”

He gave me another long look before starting the car.

“Okay. My room, tomorrow. After 11.00PM. Wear something I can take off easily.” He said drily.

I felt the grin creeping into my face, wide and shameless and he groaned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Jeon Junkook ssi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A chapter inspired entirely by jeon jungkook’s nipple in that blue shirt.

#jungkook fics #jungkook smut #jungkook vampire au #jungkook vampire #bts vampire au #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfics #bts smut #bts au #bts vampire #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook angst #bts angst au

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