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cherry-leclerc · 7 months

Text

thinking of her ☆ cl16

genre: angst, marriage trope

word count: 1.8k

You and Charles take a visit to marriage counseling.

inspired by this !

req!... had some free time to write so thought i would work on a request i just got! short one, but i hope you enjoy :)

“Tell me why you’re both here.”

The room is silent and slightly cold. A large canvas hangs right in front of you as you take time to pretend you care about the family painted on it. Part of you actually does.

“Well, she thought it would be a good idea to drag us into this.”

Your eyes flicker to Charles and you would only hope that he could tell that you weren’t impressed by his answer. It was true, it was your idea to go to couple’s counseling, but only because you cared. You cared a lot. Sometimes you thought for sure he didn’t anymore.

“Honey, tell me what made you decide this.”

You wanted to burst with anger. To prove to her that this wasn’t completely your fault. He wasn’t perfect, he tested your patience and despite it all, you still loved him enough to try and salvage your marriage.

Your therapist stares back, pen ready to scribble possible solutions as if her words would really matter. Maybe, deep down, you didn’t like being here either, but you wanted to prove to Charles how he’s been a shit husband.

You wanted someone to back you up.

Taking a deep breath, you play with your wedding band. The one that you would normally admire, but now it just felt like pure suffocation. “He’s given me plenty of reasons to not trust him the way I once did and now I sit here like a fool thinking he might change.”

The way her pen glides is something you hate.

Looking back up at you both she takes a moment to analyze the couple. Charles sits with a blank expression, as if he really did have somewhere better to be. In his mind, he did. Then, there was you. Regardless of your words pouring with pure vexation, your body language displayed something else.

Your eyes were sad and tired. She easily noticed the way your hand would want to reach out to Charles, but would quickly grip tighter to your lap.

“Please, if you don’t mind, would you care to explain.”

You press your lips together. “I first noticed a difference 2 years into our marriage.”

“Chicken or fish?”

It was Charles’ day off from work in a long time and you were currently on a call with Pascale trying to figure out what to surprise him with. He always raved about how much he loved what you cooked for him.

“Fish. You guys were just here yesterday and I made grilled chicken, remember?”

You hum as you get into your car and start driving to the market. The conversation is cut short when you finally reach your destination. Walking through the aisle you decide it would be a fine idea to grab some wine you both love.

“Charles?” The brunette looks up, red wine in his hand, as you smile a bit confused. “What are you doing here? I thought you were playing padel with Lorenzo.”

“I was! Finished the game early and thought I would grab us some wine for later.” He gets closer as he kisses you and takes the kart from you. “Shopping for dinner?” You nod.

“Thought it’d be nice…” You look at the bottle and yes it’s red, but it's not the kind you both like. “Honey, you got the wrong one.” A panicked look flashes his face before he lets out a nervous laugh. Of course! I’ll change it right now.

“It only took a couple more slip ups for me to find out.”

The therapist nods as her attention turns to Charles, where he plays with his bracelets. “And what made you stay?” You want to laugh. Are we just going to spend time on me? She shakes her head. “We’ll get to him, I just want to hear from you first.”

“After I confronted him he swore he’d stop seeing her. I guess it was my fault for even believing him.”

“Amour!”

He runs into the living room, kitchen, basement, everywhere. Breathing hard he looks around the house as if the furniture will give up and tell him where you are. A loud thud echoes from upstairs. Two steps at a time, he darts up quickly into your bedroom. His heart stops when he sees you packing a suitcase. What are you doing?

You don’t answer. Don’t even spare a passing glance. Instead you slip the gold band off your finger as you throw it behind you. It only falls a few steps in front of him. He picks it up as he makes his way to you. “I’m so sorry.”

Your back faces him, but you don’t dare make a single sound. You curl your hand against the dress you were folding, bite hard on your lip to not let out a single sob. But your chest hurts, your tears feel like acid against your skin and you’re almost thankful for pain like that, that way what Charles did wouldn’t be the only thing that hurt.

He makes his way to kneel down in front of you as you stare down at the carpet. You had begged him only a few days ago to put down the deposit on it and for a while he said it wouldn’t be financially responsible, but later agreed. You hated the carpet now.

“Why? Just why?”

He’s far too embarrassed to even come up with an answer. “...I don’t know.”

When you finally look up at him he sees what he’s caused. Your eyes are bloodshot as your nose is rosy. Cheeks are so bright pink, it almost looked as if someone pinched them.

You let out a wet laugh as you drop your hands against your lap. “You know, when I woke up this morning and you were gone I thought to myself, ‘Wow. What did I do to deserve a husband who wakes up early enough to get me breakfast on my birthday?’ And I waited. And waited. But whatever! That’s fine! He probably got busy. Then Pascale called to confirm if we were still going out for dinner, to which I said, ‘Yes! Of course!...Yes, the gold bracelet! It was beautiful, thank you for helping him pick it out.’ I thought it was sweet, I did, but you never came. And again, the presents are not what mattered, but it was you. I texted you. I called you. I told myself you were probably too busy planning something sweet the way you always did. They all asked where you were and I had to lie and tell them you were going to be late. Do you know how stupid I felt when I saw you and her enter the restaurant holding hands? And then what did I do? I purposefully had you see me run out so you could chase after me, so that your family would never find out about your…fling.”

Charles keeps bowing his head lower and lower almost as if to hide from his mistakes.

“...So where’s my bracelet, huh? Because you got it for me for my birthday, right?” Extending your hand out hurts because you know deep down it was never for you.

“I don’t have it…” You click your tongue as you retract your arm. Of course you don’t, you seethe. With all your strength, you stand with wobbly knees as you start to walk away.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

And he should feel relieved, but instead he feels like a complete asshole. How could he ruin things with his wife who swore to love him with all her being? He knew you well enough to know that you always will and he couldn’t let that go. He would fix this.

He runs to the door to close it. Move, you spit out. He shakes his head as he hugs you.

“S-stop,” you say in a shaky voice as warm tears begin to flow once more. “It’s okay, just let me go…”

You go stiff when you realize he’s crying into your neck. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…He just keeps repeating it and you can’t stop yourself from hugging him back. He loved you and you loved him. That’s all that mattered.

“Just don’t do it again, okay?”

“So he cheated: you forgave him. He put her first and your marriage second.”

You flinch at her words because they only remind you how true they are. For a while, you thought you could both get over it, but you never really did. Not when you were already both standing on opposite sides of the road.

“Mom always did say I always saw the best in people.”

“And you…” Charles gulps. “What made you fall into an affair?”

Months ago, when you first found out, he didn’t have any answer to that question. But he did now.

“I wasn’t smart enough to appreciate my wife.” He looks at you as you avoid eye contact because you know the moment you looked into his eyes, you would fall all over again.

But you still did.

His eyes are sorry, you could tell, and the way his hand makes his way to you is enough for you to grow warm despite the cold room.

“I’ve made plenty of mistakes - I know that - but none of them could compare to what I did to us. For putting you through so much doubt…For making you think I didn’t love you, but I always did.”

You're crying now as you nod because this is all you ever needed to hear.

“If this was the bump in the road that we had to overcome to grow closer then I accept it because I love you too, Charles. It’s about time you realized that.”

Charles feels lighter, happier. Now that he gets to hold your hand after many fights, he’s reminded about all the things he loves about you. But nothing could have prepared him for you to let go of his hand.

“I want a divorce.”

He’s stunned. W-what? We just decided that we were fine, that we were moving on…

You shake your head as you laugh. “My apologies, God, did I make you believe a lie? Feels awful, doesn’t it?”

He furrows his brows as he tries to reach out for you but you keep stepping further back. “Back there you almost had me…You said, ‘...none of them would compare to what I did to us.’ Us. Did you suffer? Did you spend countless, empty nights, crying yourself to sleep wondering what you did wrong? No, because it was all me. It wasn’t what you did to us, it's what you did to me.” You spin your ring one last time before slipping it off and placing it in his hand. He wants to say something to make you change your mind, to oversee his past mistakes one more time, because he swore to himself it would be the last time. But he could tell you’ve made up your mind. You twist your heel, ready to walk away before taking one last look into his green eyes you once loved.

“And the baby is getting my last name.”

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc x reader #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc smut

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ranpoesgirl · 3 months

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HELLO IF UR REQUESTS ARE OPEN CAN I REQUEST PT2 OF “ACCIDENTALLY SPILLING THAT YOU SLEPT WITH THESE BSD MEN” WITH CHUUYA, NIKOLAI AND JOUNO?

ACCIDENTALLY SPILLING THAT YOU SLEPT WITH THESE LOSERS BSD MEN II;

ft; chuuya, nikolai, jouno ( i, ii )

CHUUYA;

You were currently out roaming around town with Chuuya after your guy’s mission, when passing by a cafe, you heard a voice call out for Chuuya by his name.

He turned around annoyed but that face continued to turned into discomfort, you looked to see a young boy, maybe 14? He wore a farmer boys clothing and now that you think about it, he might be the boy Chuuya talked about.

The young boy was a ball of sunshine and invited you two to join him around the market, Chuuya was quick to shut him down so the both of you began convincing the ginger.

“Come on, Chuuya! You weren’t this difficult in bed!”, the words from your mouth came so fluidly that you couldn’t stop it.

“NAME ! THERE IS A CHILD PRESENT!”, his voice cracked while his face was redder than when he was usually drunk.

“You both sleep together in the same bed? That’s very intimate, only the married slept together in the same bed back where I’m from,”

Chuuya wasn’t joking when he said there is no one as pure as him…

NIKOLAI;

You were losing your sanity simply being in the same room as this man but it’s the price for the favor you were obliged to help with.

Sigma and Nikolai were going back and forth with Sigma mostly arguing with common sense and Nikolai being who he is, a clown.

“Ugh, how long have you been assisting this man?! I thought you’d at least lose your sanity and be like him not sit there filing your nails!”, Sigma yelled close to pulling his hair out.

“don’t bring me into this, how am I supposed to know that a man putting my pleasure first completely before his is not the same out of bed?”

This one came out accidentally but it’s not like you cared about the two toned man about knowing such information.

“You did WHAT?! And you’re still sane!?”

“Hey, I’m sane, but my standards in men? That’s my therapist’s problem.”

JOUNO;

The mall was a fun and practical, you had all sorts of things in one place from clothing stores to Dior, but to go with Jouno? You were regretting every second that you ignored Tachihara’s warning…

“Those shoes are cute,” “they don’t make sizes for big foot.”

“I wonder if they sell refills for my favorite perfume?” “have you tried taking a shower?”

“let’s go to the food court, I’m hungry!” “We got food at home— also, didn’t you say you weren’t hungry minutes before we left the house?”

A pain in the ass, and not in a good way either. What you wanted to be a fun trip and where you threw all your money, is now a sad walk in silence because you’d either get judged or insulted. On the way, you spotted Teruko walking your way with her sly smile but it slowly dropped when she reached you.

“I thought you said you wanted to splurge on yourself after your paycheck?”, the red head questioned.

Jouno looked a bit taken aback before glancing at you and quickly looking away because you were slightly glaring at him. He began walking away quietly while Teruko waited for your reply even though you hinted that he was the reason.

“Honestly, what did I expect from a man who took complete control bed even while being blind?”, you whispered quietly to the girl who simply chuckled at your comment in surprise.

You swore you saw the man’s head whip so fast and began glaring at you till there were holes in your head, not like you were going to turn to look at him to confirm…

bonus; Jouno proceeded to buy you everything you needed along with your wants and was currently standing next to you with shopping bags stacked on his arm as you were forced to swipe his card to buy those shoes you found cute…

#Thank you for requesting!!#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara #jouno x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #jouno saigiku x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader

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xhoneygirlxx · 6 months

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18+, minors shoo.

this is purely for personal reasons lmao.

One sentence, that’s all it took to end up in this position.

You’re on your back, the softness of sheets have now become soaked with sweat and other bodily fluids, knees to your chest, and arms above your head weighed down by Eddie’s strong grip.

He’s everywhere, invading all of your senses, taking up the space of all the thoughts you’ve been dying to get rid of.

“Make me forget”

It wasn’t a question, not even a request, but a demand. You needed this, needed out of your head and away from the horrible work week you’ve dealt with.

Life can become too much and despite what your therapist says a deep breath and meditation sometimes doesn’t work. So you went to the one and only person you knew could fix it, the one person who wouldn’t question you or make you think about your choices.

That’s how you ended up here, trapped under the weight of your boyfriend, whining at the brutal pace of his cock going in and out. He’s already pulled 2 releases from you, once with just his fingers and the other with his mouth, and currently he’s working on your third.

“My good fuckin’ girl, taking every single thing I give her.” Eddie pants harshly in your ear before biting down on the lobe causing you to cry out.

Pulling back, just enough to look down at you, he can’t help but smirk at the picture before him. The image of you on your back, glistening with sweat and lips shiny and red. He ogles your tits and how they bounce with every thrust.

God, you really are a pretty painting, it’s all for him and him only.

“S’it feel good, baby?” Eddie coos mockingly at you and even thought you want to say something to wipe off that cocky grin on his face, you just can’t.

You sob loudly, mangling words together with the slur of your speech. Your boyfriend can’t help but take pride in your current state, eyes hazy and unable to stay open with how drunk he has you on his cock.

“What was that? Are you that stupid, bunny? Jesus fuck-, huh? I got you that dumb just from my cock?”

Despite his confident words and degrading tone, Eddie himself is having a hard time from falling around. Even if you wanted to tease him back, tell him he’s just as fucked as you, the words simply won’t come out but it doesn’t matter when your body does all the talking.

You clench around him, squeezing him in like a vice grip and it’s pretty clear he gets the message by the way he growls.

“Shit keep doin’ that, bunny. Fuck you feel s’good, so fucking good. S’like you were made me for”

You both know he’s rambling now, trying everything in his power to last, but with the way his eyes roll into his head you both know it’s coming to an end.

Eddie however isn’t going to let up on a promise, no, he’s going to keep doing until you can’t even remember your own name. Slithering one of his hands between your bodies, his calloused fingers find your sensitive bundle of nerves and begins to rub tight circles.

“Eds I-“ You can’t even finish your sentence, your body too overwhelmed with the euphoric state you’ve been thrown into.

The sound of his balls slapping off of your ass mixed with the squelch of your cunt is all you can hear. His cock pounding to that one spot you never can reach on your own and his thick fingers circling your clit is all you can feel. Sex, sweat, and a hint of Eddie is all you can smell. The salty taste of your sweat and stray tears is all you can taste.

It’s too much while also being everything you ever wanted. It makes your heart race faster, tummy twist with a tingling fiery feeling, and you just know. In a matter of seconds you’re going to cum harder than you ever had in your entire life.

“There ya go, baby, just like that. Want you to cum for me, cum on my cock like the good girl I know you are.” Eddie strains to even say it, his own release at an arms length.

The command that falls from his lips gives you the push you needed, hurdling you right off the cliff straight into your orgasim.

Your body feels light like a feather, not even the shaking of your limbs can pull you out of the clouds. It’s only when Eddie’s body collapses on top of you that you’re brought back down to earth.

Ragged breaths, pounding hearts, and jelly like bones, you and your boyfriend sit in the afterglow for a few minutes to try and recalibrate your mind.

Leaning back slightly, mocha brown eyes peer up to you sweetly.

“How’s my girl feel?” He rasps as he studies your features.

You go to open your mouth, reassure him he kept his end of the bargain but the words won’t come out, tongue heavy and thick.

Although you can’t speak you can make noise, so you opt for the latter, moaning softly at the man. He only smiles at you, toothy and bright, before placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Mission accomplished.”

—

Let me have this, work has sucked and I don’t have a stress reliever lmao.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you

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nozunhinged · 5 months

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I finally managed to put my overall thoughts about Playboyy into words and hoooooo boy do I have a lot to say.

I watched the mdl ratings go down, the blatant hate towards the plot, the actors, the scenes, the sex. There was nothing that wasn't torn apart about this series and yet I wasn't phased for a second and I kept wondering why because usually get very passionate about defending the things I love.

And then I realized that this series is the cinematic embodiment of a very lonely path that I've been walking for decades and I am already very, very used to the shame around it.

Sex is not just my special interest, I also had the privilege to grow up with excellent sex education (thanks parents) and on top of that I never struggled with my (pan)sexual identity. Sex plays a significant role in my life. But I learned VERY quickly that I should keep this to myself if I don't want to be ostracized or bullied.

"You're autistic AND you like sex? You like porn? What the fuck is wrong with you??? That's impossible."

And all the comments I read about playboyy are exactly the same just in different fonts. Ew sex. Ew kink. Ew porn. Ew sex work. Sex can't have storytelling, plot, it's just for shock value. We all read it.

And sadly it's a very accurate representation of the role sex plays in our society. Which - ironically - playboyy exactly is about.

Playboyy is a visual collection of all the experiences of lives and people in which sex plays a significant role - even the lack thereof (looking at you zouey and all you lovely aces).

It's a collection of very important social commentary, with all the characters, sets, plots and visuals as a medium. Because this way, the points they make come across even stronger and draw out all the emotions they want us to feel - which is in the rarest cases, pure arousal. Because this is, in fact, storytelling. Even if many don't want to hear it.

Telling stories about sex is so stigmatized and shunned, it only has the tiniest place to exist freely. Just like sex itself. Every sex worker, sex educator, sex therapist, everyone who has a profession that deals with sex will tell you about it. The shame. The misunderstanding. Look at the state of sex work and porn in the world. It tells you everything you need to know.

And it's happening in the middle of the "modern" western society - Yes I'm talking about you, UK and I can't not plug this here:

*btw I am not a sex worker I'm just very passionate about letting people not just live their lives but giving them a CHOICE to do what they want or don't want to do

I existed in this tiny place for decades now and I got really comfortable in my tiny lil corner, but to see a show like this go "mainstream" talking about all the topics that tickle all the knowledge I collected over the years feels so amazing. And I can tell you, all you lil smartass purists, everyone involved in this show doesn't care an inch what you think, just like me. We're used to it, believe me.

I could go on for ages about how carefully all these topics of the show are treated but what I actually want to say is that I find it incredibly ironic that a show that depicts the struggles and stigmas about sex, exactly draws out the reactions and treatments it criticises.

If you don't want to join in on the fun, that's totally fine. I get that it's not for everyone (just like sex, he). But treating it as a piece of trash just because it's a thing you personally find icky is exactly the reason the issues Playboyy talks about exist in the first place. Hence you can thank your stuck-up ass yourself that debauched individuals like me get a gem like this to enjoy.

And the fact that it didn't just find a crew, but also the funding and the mainstream distribution proves that I'm not alone in this.

It's not my lonely little corner anymore and I'm absolutely thriving on that. Cry about it.

#playboyy the series #playboyy #playboyy meta #and no im not using tumblrs mature label for this because i like to love dangerously and want you to read it

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gentrychild · 5 months

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O great Owl and thou noble fic-finding rats I come because I have failed to find that which I need.

There is a work, apart of your Anyone universe, where Izuku is writing a Quirk Analysis Paper and he wakes AfO up so he can see a mutation quirk which enlarges AfO's arm. I have combed through all of Anyone and then through your side works that take place in this universe. But I found nothing.

The only thing I can think is that it was a tumblr post or a fanfic one of your blog mates wrote for you. But alas, I am still here.

In exchange I swear that if my firstborn ever starts stealing quirks I will buy all the therapists, and if that fails I will leave him to your fic-finders with no rivers in sight. And they may nibble on him for all of forever.

With reverence and sincerity, -me

I have some bad news and good news for you. The bad news is that his is something I wrote and posted on Tumblr, and you will never find it again even if you scroll through the entire Anyone tag. The good news is that you must be especially lucky as I found it by pure luck in a file I had forgotten.

----------

Izuku, sitting on his bed, books and notebooks opened on all of its surface, clicked his pen. Once, twice, thrice, the sound echoing in the silent apartment without doing anything to bring the answer the teenager desperately needed.

Usually, deadlines weren’t a problem for him. For some obscure reasons, the teachers in his high school were trusting him no matter what he did and forging his mom’s signatures to excuse his many absences had become the routine. However, he needed to finish this paper for tomorrow morning, so Hebisuga could read it and save her grade in Meta Analysis. That way, she would stop worrying so much about this subject, focus back on her Japanese, and write once again her ridiculously good flash cards that she always accepted to share with Yuuto and him.

But right now… Izuku’s brain just wasn’t cooperating.

He got up, his back protesting as he stopped hunching over for the first time in a couple of hours, and he left his bedroom. His notebook in hand, he walked past the bathroom and knocked at the door of the master bedroom, currently invaded by the bane of his existence while his blissfully ignorant mother was away.

The door opened in the second, All for One appearing in front of him, his hair messy and his face showing the trace of the pillow but no sign of sleepiness. The villain was one of those persons who immediately passed from sleep to alertness while Izuku needed three cups of coffee to be semi-conscious.

“What is it?” the villain asked. “Did you-“

“Show me your mutation quirks, please. Preferably the one that can offer some kind of protection.”

“What makes you think that-“

Izuku clicked his pen once again and just stared at the quirk-stealing-fiend.

All for One finally obliged, making his arm grow in size, muscles growing until it had gruesomely swollen up, and he even added some spear-like bones. Bewildered, he answered every questions Izuku had about the drawbacks, the weight, how much he could still move his arm, and so on.

Because if analyzing quirks was his passion and could become a job, words in a book didn’t mean anything to Izuku. He needed to ask questions, to make theories, to see them in action.

Once he was done and had all the elements he needed, he thanked All for One and walked back to his room without offering any explanation. But of course, his roommate didn’t need one.

“Did you just use me to finish your homework? At three AM?”

#anyone fic #anyone snippet #Thank you for doing your part in preventing the birth of a new AFO

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hakugin0 · 11 days

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So that new Levi card, woah boy(positive). I get how setting is slightly dubious but unfortunately my brain stopped at the ‘childish jealousy’ part and yeah childish was the perfect word he actually is throwing a bratty tantrum about MC talking about their time with Minhyeok WHILE THEY'RE NOT EVEN NEXT TO HIM. Levi, babey, you're not beating the Tsundere allegations.

Also the part about the sins was very interesting ‘cause it kinda puts in perspective why he feels like there's no King he's close to. Or at least that's my read on that part, all their sins have some positive parts while his is the only fully negative one so of course he couldn't feel close to them. (Personally I do think that part is his viewpoint on their sins and it would be interesting to see the other Kings’ too, Satan in particular since I feel like his sin and depressive mood swings do go hand in hand)

Now for the read more aka wiiiild speculations because he didn't come home in the reduced ten pull aka see you in 3 months bae when I have 500 pulls and you still refuse to show up(looking at you bath Satan), fair bit of character analysis and slight canon divergence(???) plus personal MC involvement.

GONNA PREFACE THIS BY WAVING NY ‘LEVI SIMP’ FLAG UP HIGH, IF THE CARD STORY WAS OFF PUTTING TO YOU OR YOU DISLIKE HIS CHARACTER IN GENERAL THEN MORE POWER TO YOU BUT PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST! IT AIN'T MEANT FOR YOU HOMIE (it's meant for me first and then anyone else who wants to witness my 3am insanity)

Aight? Aight! Here we go gamers

Gonna start this off by saying that when they dropped the first teaser for the card my expectations for the story were jelly Levi wants to replace minhyeok and thus enters MC's memories except surprise surprise it was actually some corn set in a high school (don't pretend those aren't a thing, we're all adults here, and with MC’s track record in that game it would not be surprising) in part because the story had to get spicy at some point.

Personal belief is that what we see in the prologue of Levi is the closest thing to a ‘normal’ him aka a version of him that got to experience a normal childhood and not have all the trauma of… ya know… HIS WHOLE PAST. The way he expected an attack when MC initially trips breaks me in a very particular way, he has never known peace, he expects everything to be some sort of attempt on his or his people’s life. The one time he wasn't as uptight ended up with him heavily injured (Bloodshed card).

There is also him ascertaining that they had different starting points. Now this could refer to a lot of things but to me one thing that does is put a definite line between them. To me it sounds like he's reasoning with himself that because of their very different lives they would be incompatible (combined with that thing about his sin being the only negative one it shows he always separates himself from people he would otherwise form bonds with)

Now he's still not nice, far from it, but he can be accommodating and look out for MC when he is not thinking 24/7 about possibly being attacked. Whether he reasons that it would endear himself more to them or out of pure instinct he looked out for MC, those were not Minhyeok’s actions he mimicked but his own.

So yeah, average Levi is horrendously bad at emotions and frankly probably the one who understands his own emotions towards a potential romantic partner(since tbh that is what MC is) the least. (This is a whole other can of brainworms about how aside from Solomon he probably has not been attached to anyone in that way until MC based on something he says in his H-Scene, but that can of worms shall be opened later) please get some therapists in Hell, clearly everyone would benefit from it.

There is also something impossibly endearing to me about seeing Levi in a high school setting even for a bit because that's not something he ever experienced and I wish his time exploring that part of MC and Minhyeok's past was a bit longer. I want to believe MC gets to ask him later in the story how he felt about it.

---

If you were only here for the character analysis then thanks for reading, have a lovely day/night/evening, we are going into wild speculation territory and some personal things regarding my MC Jin in that particular scenario.

tl;dr: After Jin's parents were killed she pretty much secluded herself in their home doing most of her studying through online courses and only showing up physically at school for a couple of days.

I choose to believe she was aware of stuff from the start but in that way you're aware you're in a dream while you sleep, she can tell things are a bit off but not fully what is wrong. She knows the person with her is not Minhyeok, she also knows who Leviathan is, but there's a certain disconnect when trying to piece it all together, but the further the dream goes the more she ‘realises’ and ‘awakens to the truth' if you will.

She cannot help but pity Levi’s situation even if she knows if she ever said that she'd probably get insta-hanged, so a part of her cannot help but wonder if he wanted to experience some normalcy for once. (She's not the brightest tool in the shed so the fact that he wants to replace Minhyeok would not pass by her singular braincell) (I love her I swear, being mean is my love language)

So I imagine after the whole dream thing is over and she next visits Hades she doesn't raise any questions about that event. She seems annoyingly unbothered and not curious at all. If anything this just makes Leviathan more angry because she can't be that unbothered after everything and pretend nothing happened, he should've been the only thing on her mind and yet she still sometimes mentions that detestable human. Oh how he should hang her for it. And then one day she has a conspicuously familiar candy in her mouth. “Was the experience at least a bit pleasant?” She's soft spoken anyway but she sounds almost apologetic. Why yes the experience was quite pleasant if Levi had to be honest but he'd never praise her openly… and then it hits him. She's not asking about that, she's asking about how he felt in a normal human high school.

When she gets no answer she stammers and starts speaking again, trying to fill the void. “I didn't exactly… go there often…” The pauses are plentiful and her shoulders droop almost in shame. “... so I imagine whatever you saw was rather lacklustre… aside from… my pathetic display-”

“It wasn't bad.”

A short sentence and it was enough to make the human girl perk up instantly. From anyone else that would be considered nigh an insult, but with Levi's temperament that was the highest praise she could hope for. By the time Jin was next to his desk after he'd beckoned her with a wave of his hand her visage had brightened significantly. ‘Stealing’ the lollipop from between her lips was ‘child’s play’ after that, the girl clearly took stunned to speak and becoming redder by the second.

“Yes, not bad at all.”

#haku rambles #whb #what in hell is bad #whb leviathan #whb mc #this was written at 3am in a delulu haze editing it will be tomorrow's me's issue #anyway i love levi and all his red flags #this is a levi enjoyer zone if it wasn't already very clear #kbye i go honk shoo mimimi now

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rogersideup · 2 years

Note

Request on Steve Rogers wants to ask out shy and nice shield doctor, reader out to dinner but his team keeps distracting him

Ask and you shall receive! I tried my best, it might be a little bit different than your request but I hope I didn’t stray too far. <3

Sonder

Word Count: 5,851

Summary: Every tiny tidbit of life, the hundreds of silhouettes moving through dimly lit double pained glass made Steve feel more alive and less alone than ever.

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only! All minors and blogs without an age in bio will be blocked.

Steve Rogers was a lover of all people, yet the loneliest person in the world. Well, that's what the avengers loved to tell him.

Whenever he worked his office door consistently remained open, welcoming visitors to stop by and peers to pop in for a quick chat and a hello before scurrying along to their next tasks for the day. Then, as the sun set and the pile of work never seemed to dwindle down, the team took turns every night trying to convince him that the never ending nuisance could wait until tomorrow.

He would agree, but continue to sit at that desk until the city outside his window was dark, and each office in the compound was empty. Then, with droopy eyes and a sore brain, he'd grab his jacket and phone and slowly stroll through the long halls while finding his way to the exit.

Sure he could've chosen to live there with the rest of the Avengers, but he needed his space and his therapist mentioned something about boundaries.

Leaving work was quite possibly his favorite routine of the day. The heels of his shoes clicking against the polished floors provided an odd sense of familiarity and comfort as he walked the halls. He counted 8 doors, a left turn, then 3 more doors until he got to your office.

Steve didn't even know you, the only reason he even knew your name was because it was etched into the glass door of your lab, he didn't know why you were the only person he ever saw in the compound who was crazy enough to stay as late as he did every day, and he definitely didn't know why you chose to be so kind as to smile and give him a little wave every time he passed by your lab made of big glass panes.

But he did know he loved it. He looked forward to passing by your work station every night when he finished up to be met with a pretty smile and a sweet wave. He always smiled back, and gave you his best salute. At first he waved, but one day he saluted out of pure muscle memory and it made you laugh and shake your head at him, even though he couldn't hear it through the thick glass walls of your lab, he switched to a salute every night just to make your smile stretch a little wider.

Tonight as he passed by, you looked like you were falling asleep while tinkering with some vials full of substances Steve couldn't even begin to understand. You didn't notice him at first, so he walked a little slower than his normal pace.

Even then, you were so focused on staying awake that he was almost completely disregarded by your half-functional brain. He decided to completely stop and wave at you, when you finally noticed him out of the corner of your eye, he watched you perk up.

You picked up the vial in your hands so he could see it, then rolled your eyes at it to communicate to him that you were frustrated by your work. Though you couldn't hear it, he laughed. Then, he pointed at the time on his watch to let you know that it was getting really late, and brought his hands up to his face and closed his eyes to pretend to be asleep to tell you that you should leave and get some rest.

You gave him a thumbs up before waving, he saluted, then continued walking off.

Just as he stepped out of the building, a voice ripped him out of his own smiling head.

"You know, if you're the loneliest person in the world, she comes in close second." Natasha was leaning against the wall next to the front door, obviously waiting there just to grill him.

"Who?" He stopped and turned around to look at her.

"The doctor you wave at every day" Nat confirmed.

"Oh, so now you're stalking me." He lightheartedly raised an eyebrow.

"Ask her out, maybe it'll give both of you a reason to leave work at a reasonable time for once." she pressed.

"I've never even spoken a word to her"

"I have." Nat told him. "I've spoken a lot of words to her. She's great, you should try speaking some words to her too, maybe over dinner and a glass of wine."

"She seems busy" Steve noted.

"You two smile like idiots just waving to each other every night."

"Oh, so you are stalking me."

"For your own good! You need to get yourself out there, Steve. You're Captain America for christ sakes, there are thousands of beautiful dames out and about in line who would give anything for a single slice of all of this" Natasha motioned up and down his body.

"Funny, I actually don't see a line anywhere. And also, I'm fine. Not sure why you seem so worried about me." He nervously rambled.

"You're not fine." She insisted. "I haven't seen you leave your apartment for anything but work in two months."

"Not true, I went to Blick on Saturday! Needed some new paint."

"Did you talk to anyone there that wasn't the cashier?"

"Do cashiers not count as human beings these days?" Steve questioned as he continued walking towards his apartment.

"Will you at least get a cat?" Nat called out after him.

"I'm more of a dog person" Steve turned around to face her while walking backwards away from the building.

"Ask her out!"

"I'm doing fine on my own."

He resumed his nightly routine on his walk home. The privilege of being able to walk safely in the dark was something he remained grateful for, yet the tiny twinge of fear that always resides in his brain made him oddly happy. Reminders that the tiny guy he used to be still lived somewhere behind the serum's facade comforted him immensely.

As he walked through the concrete jungle of flashy lights and never ending traffic, he tended to let his mind wander. Looking up at the tall corporate buildings, passing by the not so tall apartment buildings, cars swooshing by on the streets were all indicators of how vast the world really was.

As important as his life was to him, every single light shining through the windows of the endless buildings, and every single passing taillight represented an individual with their own life that was just as important to them.

A couple on the back of a motorcycle on their way to overlook the skyline on the bridge, an office with a woman who fought tooth an nail to to get the position of her dreams and is now dedicated to her craft, the living-room of a person that just had the best day of their lives, the bedroom of a guy who was processing the worst day of his, a soft glow from a nursery providing comforting warmth to a baby who just came him for the first time three days ago.

All of those tiny tidbits of life, the hundreds of silhouettes through double pained glass made him feel more alive and less alone than ever. It continued to comfort him as he arrived home, unlocked his front door and immediately opened his bedroom window to fill his space with the very city sounds most people of New York grow to loath.

Food, hot shower, some reading or gentle sketches to wind down then he was off to bed so he could be up bright and early for a run, the gym, another shower, and more work.

But the next day was different, he had us bi-annual check up and blood draw. It was pretty much unanimously agreed that all avengers must be in tip-top shape at all times, so frequent checkups were the norm around the compound.

The words Natasha spoke to him replayed in his head over and over again as he waited to be seen for his physical. What if you were his doctor today and he finally had to have a real conversation with you? What if Nat had the same conversation with you as she did with him? Maybe in that case he should just ask you out to thin out the air and ease your mind?

Oh no, surly this was bound to be the most awkward physical of all time, right? Wrong.

You were busy with Natasha's physical who was conveniently scheduled at the same time as his. Steve got a nurse rather than a doctor, which he was totally okay with. They took his vitals, drew some blood, asked him if he had any symptoms or complaints, then that was that for another six months and he went on his merry way.

As he exited the medical bay to go back to his office, you were leaving the examination room with Natasha. He tried his best to keep walking but once again, Nat's voice stopped his plans.

"Hey Rogers!" She called out.

"Romanoff." Steve looked back and smiled. He noted the way you smiled at him too, completely unsure if speaking real words would ruin the illusion of the unspoken relationship the two of you have built.

"Did you tell the nurse about that one thing you told me you've been struggling with? You know? The..." Nat pointed downwards towards her crotch as a joke.

"She made note of it, don't worry." Steve ran with the joke. "We're you able to get some ointment for that rash you've had for months?"

"Got it all taken care of." Nat giggled.

"Glad to hear it." Steve nodded.

His eyes met yours for a brief moment, so the two of you did what you did best. Big smiles, a wave and a solute.

As Steve started walking off again, he could hear Nat's little "you two are ridiculous". He didn't need eyes on the back of his head to know she was rolling hers.

And later that day as he left work far too late, he stopped at your glass lab to say goodnight. The moment he approached, you sprung up in excitement with a vial of blood and a piece of paper in your hands. He was a little confused at first, but you raised the vial to show him before placing it down and running up to the glass with the paper.

Pressing it against the surface at a height he could see, he couldn't help but to giggle at your excitement before focusing on the paper.

They were lab results with his name written on the top. You had circled all the numbers with a blue sharpie, and to be honest he had no idea what any of it meant, but thanks to your cute little note on the bottom, he knew there was nothing to be worried about.

'The most perfect lab results I've ever seen!!!'

He could feel your excitement through the barrier, so he dropped his mouth in face surprise and pointed to himself before mouthing "who, me?"

You nodded and gave a thumbs up, to which he pumped his fist and mouthed "yes!" happily.

That night seemed to have inspired a whole bunch of new creative ways to communicate, because the next night he was met with another hand written note. This time you didn't get up from your chair, only held it up for him to read.

'Is Romanoff pestering you too?'

A belly laugh flew out of you and your head rolled back as his face turned pink and met the palm of his hand in an instant. You had never expected to make the face of bravery to become so sheepish in such a short amount of time.

Even though you already got the answer you needed, he still nodded to let you know the pestering was mutual.

Smile, wave, solute, then Steve was on his merry way.

Every night on his walk home he tried to follow along on people's stories, like the lovely old couple that lived two floors below his apartment. Everyday they seemed to be eating a sweet treat together around the time he got home from work.

He knew their names were Susanne and Bill, both well into their 70's and married for over 50 years. They introduced themselves plenty of times, and the relationship between the three of them seemed to be symbiotic. Steve worried about them on the daily and always made sure their groceries were brought up to their front door and trash was taken down, while they worried about him whenever he was away for a while. Every once in a while they would stop by to bring him a home cooked meal or some sweets made with lots of love just to make sure he knew they appreciated everything he did for them.

Tonight he gathered from just a glimpse through the illuminated window that the two of them were eating cookies together with a steaming mug of warm hot chocolate. Each cookie was decorated with a '54', and it made him smile from ear to ear.

Back to his cozy apartment, back to work, back to your glass office.

Smile, wave, solute, then Steve was right back on his merry way.

Within the week, he had been unsuccessfully persuaded by Natasha to ask you out on a date multiple times. Really, you were beautiful. But he didn't know much about you and even the thought of having to speak to you made his heart race and his palms sweat.

However, she did plant a little seed in the back of his head. It sprouted into a tiny sapling, and rooted deeply into every part of his brain. Whenever he saw you his mood was improved with just a moment of your time. Just an insignificant couple of moments.

What could you make him feel with a few hours of conversation? Would it be as effortlessly joyful as your interactions between glass?

One night when he passed your lab, you were slumped over the desk. Arms straight out lazily typing on they keys of your desktop, head resting on your arms. Could you read sideways? You eyes were barely open, they'd close slowly then snap open on full alert, with a few fast blinks to remind yourself that you were actually awake. Could you even focus on your work half asleep?

Then he caught it. The most adorable yawn. It was intrusive, caught up to you faster than anticipated and made your whole face scrunch up with adorable lines across the sides of your nose and eyes. It was accommodated by your arms lifting up over your head in a big, long stretch. Your back arched off the desk chair and arms extended upwards as long as they could go before you tucked some hair behind your ear and continued typing.

He knew right then and there that if such a simple, yet human act could melt away at his poor old heart, you would be worth a potentially awkward conversation to try and get to know you better.

You felt a pair of eyes looking at you and of course when you chose to investigate, the soldier was waiting for you to notice him with a softly fond look smeared across his face.

"Get some sleep" He mouthed to you, you read his lips loud and clear.

"I'm trying!" You agreed with the command.

Smile, wave, solute, gone.

That night instead of wrapping his brain around everyone around him, he used his walk home to allow the roots to dig deeper and the sapling to grow taller. He vowed to himself that tomorrow he would actually talk to you.

Then tomorrow came, he had worked himself up to actually step into your lab this time and formally introduced himself. Checking his hair in the mirror, standing a little taller, walking with a little pep in his step.

He walked down the hallway and took a deep breath to calm his racing heart and settle his fluttering tummy when he was interrupted by a phone call.

"Hey there, big guy. Got a minute or two to chat?" Natasha's voice filled his ear.

"Is it actually only going to be a minute or two?" He sighed.

"Oh, absolutely not" she laughed into the line.

"... fine. What's up?" He gave in.

There was always tomorrow.

And when tomorrow came, he made it as far as reaching for the smooth stainless steel handle on the big glass door. As his hand made contact, some sort of visual alarm had gone off and your head popped up and you stood on end as you listened to the alarm code.

Code blue, an agent in you care in cardiac arrest.

He watched you run off as fast as you could to save a life. Though a tiny and selfish part of him felt slightly disappointed over interrupted plans, a bigger part of him was proud to be peers with such incredible people.

Oh and the day after that? You looked the most exhausted he had ever seen you. The baby hairs at the front of your hairline no longer had any interest in staying in your ponytail, your lips couldn't control the sad pout and slight quiver, your eyes were drowsy and swollen, bravely fighting to hold back the tears.

He learned another thing about you that night, he could feel your compassion and empathy for your patients through the double glass panes.

When you waved without being able to muster up anything close to a smile, he saluted. Instead of waking home, he walked to the nearest coffee shop to get you a cup of warm comfort to wake you up. He knew better than to assume you'd be able to go home anytime soon. He also knew better than to subject you to an awkward conversation and a possibility uncomfortable outcome.

So, instead of taking the big leap tonight he decided on a nice stepping stone. Tucked inside of the sleeve on the coffee cup was his business card with his phone number, and on the back he wrote a note for you.

If you need some ears to listen ~Steve R

He left that cup on a little table outside the lab door for you to take on your own time since you were obviously busy and stressed. He wasn't expecting anything back, quite honestly he didn't even know if you would notice.

Before he even made it home, his phone chimed with a text from an unknown number.

'Thank you so much, needed that more than you'll ever know <3'

He hated how just a single text from you could make him smile from ear to ear. There wasn't even a few minute buffer he waited before texting back, he didn't even care if he seemed desperate or clingy.

'Anytime. Hope your night gets better :)'

The next day you seemed to be in better spirits as he made his nightly stop, however this time before he could even catch your attention from behind the glass, he felt a hand grabbing the back of his neck.

"Rogers, you're staying for dinner." Tony yanked him by the back of his neck.

"Okay but just wait a sec-" Steve pulled back away from his grasp.

"No ifs ands or buts, if you spend another night alone the whole team has decided to put you in a senior care facility to live out the rest of your life amongst people who are and act your age" Tony quipped.

"That's fine it's just that I'm trying to tal-"

"Eh eh eh, let's go. Get your voluptuous ass in the elevator with me right now, Grandpa." Tony shook his head and pointed at the elevator.

"Can I just-"

"Nope. All your fake plans are cancelled, they can be rescheduled another day."

He sighed in surrender. "Fine"

Before walking away with Stark, he took one last glance at you. Sweet little you who was laughing at the interaction happening in the hallway. And yet after all of that, you still managed to fit in a wave, and him a salute.

Steve had had it, he decided there would be no more hesitation going forward. Maybe tomorrow he would stop by to see you in his way in, or maybe on his lunch break.

But of course the universe laughed in his face when he was woken up at 4:30am on the dot for an emergency mission. He was suited up and headed out faster than he even remembered.

Two and a half weeks. Eighteen full days you waiting for the soldier to arrive home, and eighteen nights you continued glancing up into the hallway hoping you'd see him waiting to say goodnight.

You were a creature of habit and routine, and every passing day your routine was disrupted a sad sigh would escape your lips and a thoughts of hoping for the avenger's safety flooded your mind.

Night nineteen, waiting for him became your new routine. Glancing up every few minutes was a habit you couldn't beat. You never expected your reunion with Steve to be in the form of an intercom call from the agent receiving unit.

'Avengers arrived back in the compound, medical bay prepare rapid response team. Captain Steve Rogers incoming, trauma to the head.'

Your body filled with dread as you sucked in a big breath and sprung on your feet to prepare for him to arrive. The trauma nurses on your team were doing the exact same thing your were, scrubbing, sanitizing, preparing tools, a bed, and resources for any situation possibly headed their way.

You snapped on your gloves just as the gurney with your unspoken friend has been pushed though the door, and transferred onto the hospital bed.

The trauma response team immediately stepped on it while you assessed the situation. They started taking his vitals, charting his heart rate, blood pressure and oxygen levels. You jumped on the chance to manage his pain and comfort levels.

It was odd, he was staring right at you but it seemed as if his vision was going straight through you. You tried to get his eyes to follow your finger, and they did. You asked him his name, he said Steve. But when you asked him where he was, he had no idea. On a scale of one to ten he said his pain was at a nine, so you made the decision to sedate him.

You talked him through everything that was happening, what your team was doing to aid the bleeding gash on his forehead, how he would be receiving an MRI and a CT scan to check for damage and concussion, and how you were giving him a pretty dose of medicine that would make him super sleepy and take a nice long nap.

The chaos around him slipped away slowly but surely, it was confusing and left him feeling unsettled. But whenever he could muster the energy as he slipped under, he would open his eyes to look at your face as you cleaned his.

Your hands were bloody and you were concentrated with a concerned look on your face, but one thing he did remember was all those nights you stayed up caring for people in the same situation he was in. He knew he would be okay.

Hours later he woke up to your same face, but this time it was just you giving him care. You had something pressed between your hand and his forehead, your other hand holding the very corner of his jaw to keep his head steady.

"Oh, good morning" You spoke softly as his eyes opened slowly, your voice just now being fully processed in his mind. "I'm just cleaning out this cut one more time and changing the bandage. How do you feel? Any pain?"

"S'okay" Steve mumbled, still feeling super drowsy.

"If you're in pain you can tell me, no one too impress here. My job is to make you feel as comfortable as I can." You usually had to talk the Avengers off the ledge of their ego.

"No, really, I'm okay" He tried to force his eyes to stay open. "Already feel better."

"Good, you're looking better too. Already starting to heal nicely" You grinned, securing the bandage on his forehead.

"What happened?"

"I'm actually not too sure..." You explained. "But I do know that you're okay. You have a concussion, a black eye and a few stitches in your forehead, but you're already healing so I don't think I'll need to keep you in here for very long."

"This eye?" He raised his hand to point at his left eye.

"That's the one" You confirmed. "Did you know that because it hurts?" Instead of answering the question, he let his eyes close and let out a small puffed giggle. "I swear all you avengers love the pain."

"It doesn't hurt" He denied once again.

"Okay well, I numbed your forehead just in case so if you start to feel a little tingly, that's normal." You finished up and let go of his face. "You have an IV on the inside of your right elbow, you were really dehydrated when you got here so I've been pumping you full of liquids. You might be feeling a little puffy for a while but it'll go down."

"First time we formally meet and I'm concussed, stitched, and dehydrated." He smiled, trying to pry his eyes open once again.

"...well you're not dehydrated anymore. I fixed that" You shrugged.

"Right, now I'm puffy. Which doesn't seem any better" The twinge of embarrassment was apparent in his tone.

"Hey, I'm a doctor. I'm used to bruised and puffy. Plus I see you every day, I'm well aware of what you normally look like by now." You assured him. "Alrighty I'm all done here, Sam and Natasha are waiting out in the hallway for you so maybe they can tell you more about what happened. Are you feeling up to having visitors?"

"Yeah that's okay"

"Okay, I'll send them in. If you need anything, you have a button that calls for me, okay? Don't be shy"

"Thank you" he said politely before you grinned and left the room.

Of course the moment you stepped into the hall, Natasha was practically celebrating the fact that you two had finally had a face to face conversation. If you didn't know her better, you would've believed she was the one who beat him up so badly just to force the two of you to meet.

You checked up on him alongside your other patients a few times a day, he always had a room full of avengers. It warmed you heart to know he was so loved, you had patients who would be in you care for months with not a single visitor, yet even if he was dead asleep there was always someone by his side keeping him company.

For the three days that you had Steve in your care, he was nothing but pleasant. Never did anything to make your job harder, always did what you asked of him, never asked for anything, and was always super polite.

He healed incredibly fast, and he contributed that all to you. You, who was always bending the rules of modern medicine to accommodate the needs of his less than usual body to find what would work best for him.

You who kept him comfortable and pain free, kept him entertained by recommending movies for him to watch then stopping by to have a whole in depth discussion about the plot after he was done, made sure he was always warm by sneaking him a hot blanket from the blanket warmer every few hours, and still said goodnight to him every time before you headed home to get your own sleep.

The two of you had bonded so much that he was almost a little sad when you discharged him from the hospital. He knew he would miss the discussions over Jurassic Park movies, and lord knew he desperately wished he had a blanket warmer at home, but he knew he would fall right back into his anxious routine of being too scared to ever approach you in the office.

So after a long weekend of recovery in his own apartment, he was back to work and back to smiling at you though the glass.

For three whole nights, he would smile and salute then kick himself over and over and over again for being the biggest loser on this vast planet for not being brave enough to finally go through with asking you out.

But the universe was on his side Friday night when you walked by to say goodnight, and you happened to be turning off the lights and grabbing your bag. He watched you gasp in excitement before you held up a finger and told him to wait right there.

So he did, and not even a whole minute later you walked through the glass door with a big happy smile. "Guess who has zero patients and actually gets to leave work at a reasonable time?!"

"Hmmmmm? The nursing assistant?" He joked.

"Great guess" You laughed as the two of you started walking through the building together. "Got any big plans for the weekend?"

"Does cat sitting for Bucky count as a big plan?" Steve questioned.

"Sounds massive to me" You agreed. "How about tonight?"

"Tonight?" His heart rate spiked out of control.

"Yeah, tonight."

"I mean, my big plans were going home and watching Jurassic World..."

"I can't let you do that" You stopped walking mid step. "That franchise should've never existed."

"But didn't you tell me to watc-"

"I think that it's Friday night, and the both of us currently have no obligation to keep anyone alive so maybe we should go get ice cream and figure out some better movies for you to watch."

"I-" He started but nothing really came out. He couldn't believe that you really did the hard part for him, and now all that was left was to enjoy what was to come. "Okay, but no superhero movies." He agreed with a smile that stretched ear to ear.

"How to you feel about Star Wars?" You questioned, guiding him to your favorite ice cream shop.

The two of you got a treat, found a bench with a pretty view, and sat there in the cold for hours. Conversation was effortless, and playful to distract from the heavy weight of the jobs you both carried from 9-5.... well, more like 7-9.

You discovered he lives in the apartment building right across the street from yours, Brooklyn was smaller than it looked. The two of you bonded over creative outlets, music, books, and of course movies.

When it got just a little too cold and Steve caught a glimpse of the noticeable goosebumps across your arms, the two of you walked home together.

Your steps aligned perfectly as you took turns pointing out what you loved most about the walk home.

Steve loved the smell while passing the little corner bakery, you loved spotting your friend Jeff who always hung out near the corner bakery. Steve learned that you look out for him, slipping him money as often as you could, bringing him blankets and meals- and now Steve loved that he had a new friend to look out for too.

You loved the dance studio, glimpses of ballerinas through the window never failed to make you feel like a little girl full of amazement and wonder again.

Steve loved the stray cat 3 blocks down from your shared street. He named her Betsy.

"Okay, this might make me sound weird..." you prefaced.

"Oh you have a weird side?" Steve questioned with a teasing smirk.

"I love to make up stories about what I think is happening in the lives of all the people I see through the windows" You told him. "Like over there, in that window I've only ever seen a woman, but a few months ago I started seeing a guy her age walking around in there too. So, I made up a story. They met on Tinder, but they're embarrassed to tell people that so everyone who asks gets a different story of how they met."

"No way!" Steve laughed finally feeling a little less creepy knowing someone shared his weird habit. "I do the same thing."

"Really?!" She asked happily.

"Yes! Walking home is my favorite time of the day just because it's like a story getting updated in my head" he confirmed.

"Isn't it so much better than any movie?"

"So much better. It's amazing how much you can gather about people's lives by just being present in your surroundings" He grinned. "So many people have so many complex existences, it's important to me that I take that in as much as I can to keep me feeling grounded."

"It makes me feel less alone on this huge earth we live on" She agreed. "Sonder."

"Hmm?" He tilted his head at the last word as they stopped in front of her apartment building.

"Sonder, that's the word to describe what we chase every night" You taught him happily. "It's the profound feeling that strangers lives are just as important and complex as your own, and that they are constantly living despite your personal awareness of it."

"Huh" Steve took in your statement, feeling understood by you in a way he's never felt before. "I didn't even know that emotion had a name"

"Well now you have it, and I'm glad you don't think I'm weird" You nodded contently.

"106 years old and I'm still learning something new everyday" he thought out loud. "This is your stop?" He asked, looking up at the building.

"Yes it is, thanks for biting my last minute attempt to hang out tonight." Your cheeks blushed at the thought of him giving you his time.

"I forgot to ask, do you have any big plans this weekend?" He asked, blushing as the question left his tongue.

"No, none at all." You admitted.

"Would you like to make some?" Steve finally got the nerve to ask you out this time.

"How does sitting in sonder sound on Sunday?"

"Sounds like a big plan to me" He nodded. "10am?"

"10 am" You smiled.

"Great. See you then, goodnight." Steve started walking directly across the street to his apartment building.

"Oh and by the way, third floor and fourth window to the right in your building. A couple in their 30s, I think they just got married and she's 6 months pregnant." You told him your story.

"Oh yeah, Alice, Andy and their little boy on the way" Steve added to the details.

"His name is going to be Jackson"

"Only 3 more months until he's here" Steve made it too the door of the building. "Goodnight, Rogers" You smiled and waved.

"See you Sunday" He saluted.

Steve really did feel like he was fine all on his own, even though the team thought he was lonely. Maybe they thought that of you too. But now more than ever as he opened the bedroom window and took a final glance out into the city below him, every illuminated light reminded him of the new word you taught him, and he’s never felt less alone in his life.

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eeriefeelingsat3amuwu · 1 year

Text

Whatever labels I use, However old I am, wherever I live, it doesn’t matter. Inside I will always be the eight year old girl who grabbed the Fellowship of the ring from the cabinet where my Dad kept all of his books and read the entire trilogy in two weeks.

I will always be the eleven year old girl who carried The two towers around so much and read is so frequently that despite it being a hardback, the back fell off and some of the pages fell out and I lost the cover somewhere.

Every now and again, I return to the time when I first read through the hobbit and cried my eyes out when Thorin died and every time since then that I read through the book and it never stopped the tears.

I bought the first edition re-release of the hobbit not too long ago, with ilustrations and such a lovely cover. I spent my food money for that week on it. It was worth it.

Whenever I listen to the Shire theme song from the movies that shaped my teens, I always cry so hard with the longing for home, despite the fact that I’m sitting on my own bed in the flat where I grew up in.

It’s so hard to put all my thoughts into words, honestly. I’ve never been able to do it justice, yet my Pure love for it seeped into my words enough so that I made four of my friends read it, just so they could go through that rolecoaster of emotions I described.

I rewatched the movies with my friend this summer. We just sat in her flat for the entire time, we talked and ate some food and we watched. We made fun of some of the parts and we both were at the Edge of our seats when the Battles were happening. Even if we had to split it into two days because I got a migraine, I still look at that experience and am so fucking happy about it.

This book series, these movies, they gave me something nothing since was able to replicate. And I’ve read a lot of books, watched hundreds of movies, series and played loads of games. Nothing comes close.

The people of that world are close to my heart. It was a huge part of my childhood, my teens, it shaped me as a person and I can never be thankful enough for it.

The love portrayed, whether I see it as platonic or romantic, is there and it’s real and it’s the reason why I want to support my friends and the people around me as much as I can, it’s the reason I want to be a therapist.

Fucking hell man. I love The Lord of the Rings.

*edited because the friend I watched the movies with is now trans ;)

#eerie’s feelings #Lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #jrr tolkien #bilbo and frodo #samfro #gigolas #gimleaf #aragorn #gandalf #thorin oakenshield #the company #Bagginshield #thilbo

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 5 months

Note

Heya, Mouse. I hope you're doing well. 😊

So, I recently got the Mr. Qi mature event again in my most recent save. A personal issue I have with this event is that no one, including your own spouse, ever hint at the event at all. Yes, the Farmer can't talk about it, but surely they'd be acting differently after such a scary and traumatic event? So my request is this: How would the sdv/sve marriagables + Krobus (bc I know my shadow roomie would be worried too) feel about the Farmer acting differently after they were found after the Qi event? Like, maybe the Farmer's more jumpy and sullen after what had happened, but they can't say anything because of the seal.

Hi, hello! 👋 I'm doing fine! ☺️ Thanks for your question, and I really apologize for taking so long to reply 😅 I decided to post here about only Bachelors + Krobus, hope you don't mind. Anyway, thanks again for caring and for the ask! Enjoy ❤️

Sam:

Given that the Farmer was found unconscious in the forest, Sam immediately thought that the reason for their behaviour was that they had been frightened by a wild bear or wolves. No wonder: you are lying defenceless and predators are walking around you, wanting to eat you. The young musician's guesses are far from the truth of what really happened to Farmer, but whatever happens, Sam will be there for his love, supporting them and comforting them.

Elliott:

Poor Elliott nearly had a stroke when he saw Farmer lying in a hospital bed at the Clinic. Taking them by the hand, the writer began to ask what had happened to his spouse, but was quickly silenced when he saw Farmer getting even worse. Elliott apologises for his panic and will do his best to make Farmer feel better. He still hopes that Farmer will be able to tell what happened in the future.

Shane:

Shane feels angry and wants to punch someone (or something) with his fist, which is the reason for Farmer's sadness and constant tension. He is even ready to fight with the whole world if he has to - no one dares to offend the people close to him and get away with it. But realising that Farmer's rage won't help him in any way, Shane tries to comfort them and calm them down. Even suggests they go to the therapist he went to himself after that event on the hill. Magic, not magic, he doesn't know shit about it. All he needs right now is to be there for Farmer and give them all the help and support they need.

Sebastian:

Sebastian can't calm down himself now. He knows that the Farmer fights monsters every day, which is the pure nightmare fuel of many people's lives, and the fact that his spouse met someone that even scared them.... However, Sebby is trying her best not to show his worries, because right now the Farmer needs someone to protect them. And he will be brave for them now, just as Farmer was brave for Sebastian and the other people they were protecting.

Alex:

Alex went into full protective mode, not letting anyone he deemed suspicious near Farmer. The young athlete thinks that some tourists have decided to attack and harm Farmer, as many people (including some unpleasant ones) have come to Stardew Valley, to admire the local town and relax. Unfortunately, Farmer can't tell the real reason, and that's what kills them the most - it's the inability to tell Alex what happened. However, gentle words and cuddles in bed are just what Farmer needs after the traumatic event.

Harvey:

Breathing exercises, sedation, elimination of junk food..... Harvey doesn't know what happened to the Farmer, but he certainly knows how to help them. Alas, in matters magical he will not help in any way, so does not even know of its existence. But Harvey will definitely do his best to help deal with his spouse's depressed mood. He promise to them, everything will be alright, doctor's word!

Magnus:

Magnus know very well about the silencing spell, as he knows this school of magic very well. And the fact that his spouse was acting like a frightened lamb after that strange event made him think about this possible option. Touching their hand, Magnus was scalded like fire, leaving no doubt. Magic. Dark, unfamiliar magic. The Farmer no longer needed to try to say anything, Rasmodius understood all at once. The wizard would assure his lover that he would definitely help them, no matter who cursed Farmer.

Lance:

Lance didn't feel magic as subtly as the same Rasmodius or Camilla, but he could feel the incomprehensible dark aura that wrapped around Farmer's neck like ropes. His one penetrating look into his consort's frightened eyes was enough for Lance to signal to some his fellow mages, including same Camilla and Magnus, that something out of the ordinary had happened. The gallant adventurer also remembered to kiss them on the forehead and envelope them in a tight hug, reassuring them and promising them that everything would be all right.

Victor:

Victor, seeing how the constant tension and depressive state is affecting his beloved spouse, he tries to find a therapist to help Farmer. Poor Victor cannot watch them suffer, so will offer his support and convinced them accept professional help. The sad irony is that Farmer can't tell anyone, no matter how hard they try. Still, they're glad Victor won't leave them alone.

Krobus:

Krobus doesn't realise what exactly happened to Farmer, but shadow person can feel them exuding alien magic and a restless aura after they returned from the clinic. Never, no matter what dangerous adventures they had been on, had the Krobus seen the Farmer so frightened. The fact that they wouldn't tell him anything tensed the shadow person even more. It's unlikely that Farmer would lie to him like this if they had always told Krobus everything about their adventures before. Something is wrong, and Krobus, worried about his friend, thinks that maybe Magnus or Marlon can help Farmer.

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley expanded #sve #sve lance #sdv wizard #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv alex #sdv sam #sdv harvey #sdv elliott #sve magnus #sve victor #thanks for the ask!#sdv headcanons #sve headcanons #sdv krobus

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alllgator-blood · 16 days

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okkk wait this is the anon that sent an ask about autistic narinder and leshy hc 😅 i retract my statement they're all autistic 🤯🤯🤯🤯

I WAS LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF ANSWERING THAT ASK TO SAY "I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ALL AUTISTIC" BEFORE THIS ONE GOT SENT IN, I was two sentences in so your comedic timing was impeccable actually

I know there's like no evidence in-game to back my claims so this is purely a vibe check (and also me being unable to write for neurotypical characters) but yeah no I 100% feel like all the bishops have autism for some reason. They definitely express it in different ways and I was actually thinking about that in the car ride back home tonight??

SEMI-DETAILED HC EXPLANATIONS BELOW THE CUT

For leshy, I feel like since he's the youngest...when he came along, everyone was like "yep. We don't even need to get this one tested" after seeing him in his natural element. Which sounds cruel but that's just personal experience after people in my family started getting diagnosed and we started noticing things about each other better LMAO. I kinda actually designed my iteration of him to be like a big stim toy, I did that shitpost sketch in the last post but even the first time I drew him I was like "this dude is made out of orbs that make satisfying noises when they click together", so if I had to categorize the way his neurodivergency manifests, it's definitely "I NEED TO MOVE AROUND!! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! MAYBE SCREAM A LITTLE IDK IT JUST FEELS RIGHT!!"

Heket is for sure the one that fights the most against people labelling her with it, just because she's like I'M SO NORMAL GUYS. LOOK HOW NORMAL I AM. LOOK HOW WELL I CAN ADAPT TO CHANGE AND LOOK AT ME NOT FREAK OUT AT ALL WHEN I'M OUT OF MY ELEMENT!! She's the new leader of the family so she does her best to hold it together but if you make plans with her, she's gonna be in Waiting Mode as soon as the plans are made and might tear you limb from limb if you flake or reschedule. Something my therapist told me recently is that me getting absurdly upset over injustices (small or big) is likely directly related to being autistic, so if heket feels like something is wrong she will absolutely be vocal about it. If someone says something mean to her, they are her fucking arch nemesis from that point on. The block button is NOT enough she wants them DEAD

For narinder, I feel like he maybe bonded a lot with shamura over the fact both of them feel pretty disconnected from everyone else? The way his autism manifests is probably the feeling that he's on a completely different wavelength than everyone else, and can't experience empathy the same way his siblings can. He'll like have conversations with people but it feels like someone just talking at him, and him having to mentally choose the dialogue options that make the conversation end the quickest. He probably feels like a completely separate species from everyone else on more levels than just "I am a cat and you are not". I know this doesn't line up with my narinder art so far but I have a distinct characterization of him pre-schism that's completely different from post-schism. I feel like he also resented the other siblings for having the same condition as him but presenting so differently, he felt like he got the short end of the stick.

Kallamar........is a FREAk ABOUT TEXTURES. Bro will actually throw up if he has to eat or touch something gross. He would probably excuse himself to go hurl if he sees leshy combining everything on his plate and shovelling it into his face. I'M actually about to hurl just thinking about it. I have to have lotion on at all times or I freak out when I touch things with my hands, and I feel like kallamar needs to have that famous Cephalopod Mucus Layer in order to exist in his body without wanting to implode. Maybe even a special oil he formulates himself? I also feel like he probably has the most freakouts and has been left crying inconsolably + hyperventilating on the floor over something seemingly stupid MANY times, but shamura is understanding enough to be patient with him and not try to grab him or repeat phrases at him over and over.

LASTLY, SHAMURA DOESN'T THINK THEY HAVE AUTISM. They're like "I love my Neurodivergent Family :) can't relate tho" but all the siblings have unanimously agreed they have something going on up there, even before the TBI. I think they're very book smart, and have little file cabinets of their brain of stuff like "arthropod husbandry" and "dreamcatcher making techniques" but are totally clueless to how other people operate. They don't really know *why* people do the things they do; in my prequel AU thing, they gain most of their social knowledge through people watching rather than like...being normal and just knowing how to behave. Out of all the siblings, they've probably been told the classic phrase "but you don't look autistic!" the most LMAO

Also shamura 100000% has misophonia and that's the reason I didn't have them sitting at the table with the other siblings in the voidpunk comic I did of them. They love their family to death but they have to make the conscious decision to not shake baby leshy every time he loudly chokes down his dinner, so they just sit out meals and eat on their own time. If shamura was real I would build them a shrine and sacrifice my noise cancelling headphones cause idk if they have sound reduction methods in cotl world <3

I know autism kinda encompasses ALL of these traits and isn't something that can be categorized into "this one hates noises, this one needs to follow a schedule..." but I also don't want to just point at one bishop and go "YOU. YOU WILL BE MY VESSEL" because I'd never get to write all that I have in mind if only one character had it. There's definitely overlaps in symptoms between them but I just wrote down what I felt would be the most notable to that specific character. I've been wanting to do a comic about their special interests or the times they just like sync up and have a brain blast jimmy neutron moment, cause usually they're all over the place. I have literally never said the word "autism" so many times in my life I think I gotta cut it here, THIS IS SO LONG. I REALLY DID WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS THOUGH SO THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK GENUINELY. IDK IF YOU EXPECTED A SMALL ESSAY ON THIS BUT I WROTE ONE ANYWAY

#HEADCANON DUMP #LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO

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respectthepetty · 3 months

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Hey Petty! I love reading your colour-analysis posts a lotttt and recently came across your posts about DFF. Started watching it because of you and it's soo good! So, I noticed you're starting to suspect White. But come on, isn't he literally named "White"?! I really don't see him being mixed up in all the drama like the others. My bet's on him being the last girl standing (like many others ig). What's your take on it??

I love color symbolism, but maybe it’s because I played Clue too much as a child, I actually don’t trust anyone in this show. White has proven several times to be as pure and innocent as his name, but . . . is he too good to be true?

The biggest reason I want White to not be so innocent in all of this is because this is traumatizing. If White truly had no idea what he was in for, this boy will need a good therapist and to stay hydrated the rest of his life. So by me thinking something is up with him, it helps me cope with the idea that maybe he isn’t being traumatized, but actually in on the traumatizing.

And then, there are the other reasons:

The Tumblr detectives have stated that White is rich. Possibly richer than Por. He went to a private school, not the ones the boys went to.

Yet Tee tells him that he will treat them to the US to see Jin when he has enough money.

I’m not one to question power dynamics in a relationship, but it’s odd because the OST makes it seem like White approached Tee first, as if Rich Boy White initiated this relationship with older Tee . . . without knowing anything about him.

We still have yet to get backstory on White. He is dating Tee. That’s it! The music video showed us more scenes from them, so how did they end up falling in love in an arcade?

He is resourceful. He plugged in the walkie-talkies. He found the video and a gun. He cries when screamed at. But is he using those tears as another resource? If white women weaponize their tears, why can’t White?

And who does he turn those tears against the most? Tee!

I believed White wasn’t New because I could not imagine Non’s brother actively dating (and fucking) his brother’s bully, but why is White dating Tee? Tee had some people convinced he was a good guy in the first episode, but NOT ME! Once he said that White was being disobedient, I was ready to push him off that terrace, but The Hand got to him first.

As Fluke pointed out, it’s strange White didn’t know about Uncle Joe. It kind of makes sense to not know about family members since even Tee’s friends didn’t really know about the uncle, but this rich boy doesn’t know his boyfriend of over two years had an uncle (regardless of the money laundering) ESPECIALLY because Tee’s ass was always at that gambling hall. Tee openly showed he is not the type to just let his boyfriend be alone, so how did Tee explain not being near White every second of every day?

White wasn’t supposed to be on this trip, but he begged Tee to let him come. Tee apologized for this, but White put on a smile and said all was well. White wants to be with Tee, and he seems to want Tee to be with him, right in the middle of the action.

So either White is a metaphorical angel sent from heaven who can endure even the worst tragedies or he is a biblical angel sent to punish these boys, specifically Tee, for their crimes.

Either way, he is an angel

who will survive!

#dead friend forever #all these boys are sus #white may be perfect #but he could also be the perfect suspect #I need to know why he is dating Tee!#I need to know that backstory right now!#White will be the final gay #but is going to be traumatized?#or is he doing the traumatizing?

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floralseokjin · 1 year

Text

⤑ 9 months to fall in love 22.

It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.

Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.

Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 5,057

warnings/includes (!) IT’S TIME! GLOB IS COMING!!!!

⟶ ao3 link

*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’

note; The Astronaut is 1000% playing while they have their little slow dance during the party 🤧 Also, for visuals: here is the inspo for the photoshoot outfit and here’s inspo for the tux!

↪︎ series index

SEASON THREE ⇤ previous | next ⇥

The next few weeks flew by.

It took a while for you to stop feeling so shaken up by the accident, and even now, you still felt slightly nervous being inside a car. You knew you couldn’t let the irrational fear consume you, especially with your life soon to take on a new importance, so you tried hard to work past it, talking it through with your therapist during the online sessions you were still having. The collision had purely been an accident, a split-second mistake made by the other driver, a lapse in his judgment. You couldn’t give it the chance to control you. You were stronger than that. Plus, you had so many better things to concentrate on. Seokjin, your friends, your bettering relationship with your family. Your daughter.

At first, being on maternity leave was jarring. You’d worked fulltime ever since you’d graduated university, so having countless days and days to yourself took some getting used to. Seokjin joked that you needed to make the most of it, because once Sarang got here you both wouldn’t know peace again. It was a strange thought, but not disagreeable. She might have been the surprise you’d never known you wanted, but you’d been practically ready and eager from the start. Seokjin, too.

You busied yourself with some more decorating of the house at first. Minor decorating. You couldn’t do much, but dotting a few art pieces or photos around, placing a vase on an end table, and laying out a few rugs here and there didn’t use much energy. Until it did. It felt like you were getting heavier and heavier by the day, the weight of Glob weighing you down and warping your axis of balance. You tried your best to keep active, going into the centre of the city a couple of times, and when you couldn’t manage that – not that you managed it well pre-pregnancy – you settled on small walks around your new neighbourhood. Seokjin joined you in the evenings sometimes, but mostly on the weekend. He was still working himself silly ready for his paternity leave, which meant that you were both in bed by 9pm most nights.

In fact, as well as going to bed early, you liked a nap in the middle of the day too, falling asleep on the couch, where you spent most of the day watching boxset upon boxset. You’d already completed a rewatch of one of your favourite shows, finding it even funnier than the first time a couple of years ago. Now, you were starting something new. A sitcom. You found laughing was the way to go in these trying times, but it also weakened your bladder even more. You’d also started playing BT21 – your bump was a great rest for the handheld console. You’d never been into gaming, but you were becoming mildly addicted slash emotionally unstable, crying at how cute all the animal characters were.

On the weekends, you and Seokjin bulk cooked meals to freeze. What started off as a fun domesticated activity soon turned into a bind. The good news was that you now had enough food to last at least three months and had stocked up on enough dried goods to avoid starving during a zombie apocalypse. But hopefully that didn’t happen now that you were so close to giving birth.

The nursery was complete, the beautiful crib the main feature. You kept finding any old excuse to step inside and gaze around – not that you needed an excuse. You spent quite a few hours organising and reorganising Sarang’s chest of drawers, folding and refolding all her little onesies and cute outfits. You made sure to dust and wipe down surfaces often, wanting everything to be squeaky clean for her arrival. Your hospital bag had long been packed, on countdown inside your bedroom. Before long, there wasn’t very long to wait at all!

One of the worst things to deal with, now that you were in such a late stage of pregnancy, were the nights. Maybe that’s why you were napping so much in the day. No position was comfortable – and positions were limited in the first place. Your bump had reached its limits, you couldn’t go any bigger you were certain. You tried to help yourself by wedging pillows under your bump and between your legs to ease the pressure. It worked to a certain extent, but then leg cramps would set in and you had to move around, trying to get comfy all over again. Then you needed to pee, so it was back and forth to the bathroom. Then Sarang decided she wanted to wiggle.

It was no wonder you were a little irritable these days, all things considered. Tonight, you and Seokjin had gone to bed not talking to one another after you’d snapped at him over making dinner. He’d come home later than usual to find you in the kitchen, instantly ordering you out. When you’d refused, the exasperated look on his face made you see red. You didn’t expect him to come home after a long day of work and start dinner immediately. You were pregnant, not decrepit, and making a simple stir fry wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility.

You’d made the stupid stir fry in the end, and then the both of you had eaten in stony silence across from one another. You rarely argued, but you were both fans of the silent treatment when you did. Both stubborn too, it was impossible to know who would break first. As it were, Seokjin was the one to fold tonight.

“____, what’s wrong?” he asked into the darkness, voice thick with sleep but prickled with concern.

It wasn’t a surprise that you’d managed to wake him up. You’d already been to the bathroom twice, readjusted your pillows five times, and thrown your head back in frustration maybe ten.

“Nothing,” you mumbled. Which was a lie. As well as being horrifically uncomfortable, you felt guilty for earlier, which was only marginally overshadowing your annoyance over Seokjin being able to sleep soundly while you tossed and turned.

Seokjin shifted onto his side, one hand reaching for you and grazing your hip. “Can’t get to sleep?”

“No.” Mortified, the word sobbed from you, and just like that you were crying.

“Hey,” he said softly, gathering you in his arms as best he could. You were still uncomfortable but feeling him hold you made it better. “You’re okay.” He rubbed your back soothingly.

“I’m being stupid,” you sniffed into his chest, getting his pyjama shirt wet.

Moving your hair off your forehead, he kissed a spot he could reach. “You’re not. You’re tired and uncomfortable.” His palm felt really good stroking between your shoulder blades. “Close your eyes and think of something relaxing.”

“All I have to think about is the impending horrors of childbirth.”

Seokjin didn’t reply, probably realising there was nothing he could say to that. He’d seen the videos too.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” you added.

“I’m sorry too,” he sighed softly. “I had a stressful day.” You hated that he was working so hard while simultaneously knowing you would be beyond happy and grateful once your daughter was born. You were ready to tag team Sarang’s first month in this world.

“If you can’t sleep, neither will I,” Seokjin announced a few moments later.

“Now you’re the one being stupid.”

He barked a laugh, loud in the middle of the night. Then, fondly, “I love you.”

You smiled against him. You would never get sick of hearing that. It was just three small words, but you knew Seokjin meant them deeply every time. And so did you. “I love you, too.”

A couple of weeks ago, Seokjin got the front page on one of the most well-known business magazines. You didn’t know who had been more excited, you or everyone else who adored him. Definitely not him anyway. Seokjin handled it with his usual Seokjin modesty, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. You had a copy on your nightstand and another on the coffee table in the best living room. Yeonja even bought a copy for her coffee table, and Mari too! She messaged you a picture on the day it came out. Seokjin had a lot of fans. It was no wonder when you saw his photoshoot. Fashionable in his beige turtleneck and grey suit, he looked objectively handsome. There was no issue of being biased, your man seriously was that good looking! And wonderful. You’d read the part where they mentioned you and Sarang (not by name) in his interview at least a dozen times, and it never failed to put a massive grin on your face (and shed a tear or two.) Plus, reading the interviewer praise him made you inexplicably happy.

Having taken up most of his twenties and half of his thirties, Alpaca Gaming Studios has been his life, but it’s time to concentrate on more personal matters. After falling in love earlier this year, there’s a baby on the way, and Seokjin is ready to gradually take a step back from work. “She’s the most amazing person I know,” he says about his partner, sounding smitten. “I want to spend as much time with my family as possible. I can’t wait to become a father.” He’s unable to fight the grin on his face.

Staunchly private, he won’t reveal much about his relationship, but his beaming face is proof of how in love he is. His company still means the world to him, but he is very aware that it could shine just as hard without him – his words, not mine! I am inclined to disagree. AGS has obviously become what it is because of the man sat in front of me. Politely spoken and painfully modest, it seems almost impossible that he is CEO of one of the world’s most popular video game companies. Not to mention, Kim is quite unnervingly handsome. It’s practically unfair. He laughs when I tell him this, turning red.

“Nothing like that,” he’s quick to correct, when I ask him if he plans on stepping down. Then jokes, “I’ll give everyone I know a heart attack if they read this. I can’t see myself stepping down any time soon.”

It’s another one of his charms. To be serious and subsequently dilute it with a joke. Not everyone could pull it off, and Seokjin does so numerous times during this interview. His charisma is something else!

“We’re a team at AGS, a family” he continues, “and they are way more talented than I could ever be.” He chuckles self-deprecatingly, somehow making it attractive. “I have no doubt that if I ever did decide to retire, they’d do just fine without me. There’s my second in command, after all.”

He’s mentioned his secretary slash best friend Jung Hoseok numerous times throughout this interview and insists he wouldn’t be here now without him. In fact, he wouldn’t be here now without a number of people. It’s obvious that he genuinely believes that. There is nothing false about Kim Seokjin. His gratitude and humility are two more admirable qualities that make this man hard to judge or criticise.

The mention of Seokjin stepping down from CEO one day had shocked you at first. Making plans for his month-long paternity leave was one thing, but to talk about gradually distancing himself from his role was something he’d never even mentioned. He was quick to reassure you that he wasn’t seriously thinking any of that, his mouth just had a habit of running away from him during nerve-wracking situations like a global magazine interview. It was true that he wanted to take more time for you and Sarang, not work such long hours, and to have stress-free weekends, but he wasn’t ready to leave everything he still loved so much. At least not right now. Who knows what the future holds, he told you. Maybe five years from now we’ll have Glob No.2 and I won’t want to step into the office ever again.

You liked thinking of the future these days. Of your future with him and Sarang…and Glob No.2. (But no No.3 like he’d also suggested!) Before the future never used to cross your mind, but you had so many new things to look forward to now. Your relationship, your baby, Yuna and Jimin’s wedding! Life was exciting and constantly changing, filled with things that had never crossed your mind this time last year. It was a great feeling, even when you struggled to stand on your feet for more than ten minutes right now…

As Seokjin’s 35th birthday was going to be overshadowed by Sarang’s arrival into this world, his parents insisted on celebrating early. It was a multitude of celebrations to tell the truth: Jin’s birthday, his interview, Sarang’s imminent arrival, the last hoorah before said arrival.

Seokjin knew about it of course, he didn’t very much like surprises, and Mikyung had kept you updated every step of the way because you were too exhausted to help organise a thing. In fact, you were probably too exhausted to even attend the party. You were 39 weeks pregnant and hadn’t done much movement in over a week. You moved from the bedroom to the sofa, to the kitchen, to the sofa, to the bedroom again at the end of the day. It wasn’t a very fun existence, so with cutthroat determination, you were attending your man’s birthday party. Even if you sat down for most of the night and begged to go home by 8pm.

Yuna did your hair and make-up, and even your nails. If the last few weeks of pregnancy had taught you anything, it was that you could get used to the kind of life where people did everything for you. You were due for a harsh reality check in ten days’ time, because your role was going to be well and truly reversed. You’d folded yourself into a grey velvet wrap dress, complete with chunky socks, before sliding your swollen feet into a trusty pair of Crocs – black this time. Fashion was the last thing on your mind at the moment, which was heart-breaking for the likes of you, but if you were being honest, it had taken a backseat a long time ago.

The venue was stunning. Mikyung really had pulled out all the stops for her Seokjinie, the theme winter wonderland-esque in gold and creams. There was even an outdoor area decorated much the same, with the gazebo draped in string lights that twinkled in the dark. You wouldn’t be caught outside in mid-November weather, but each to their own. While the party was in the development stages, it had been a toss-up between a three-course meal or a buffet. In the end, down to a committee vote, buffet had won, which you were ecstatic about because you loved a good ol’ buffet. Jungkook was chuffed too and sat next to you munching on two plates piled high with every option available.

The guest list wasn’t excessive, but it did include a few family members and friends you hadn’t met yet, and Seokjin introduced you to them with a very loving “this is my ____.” It made you beam and feel almost drunk, which you were most definitely not. Somewhere along the line you lost him, but you were in no condition to go and find him. Instead, you sat down at the corner table you’d nabbed for your own, and watched everyone having fun, amused and quietly laughing to yourself. It made you happy that there were so many people here celebrating Seokjin.

Your brother was poking around what was left of the buffet, and your father and Yeonja were slow dancing together in the middle of the dancefloor. When the song changed abruptly, you watched them break apart awkwardly, unsure of how to continue. Your sister was sat on the opposite side of the room, on her phone, but occasionally you caught her glancing up and watching Hoseok who was now busting out some moves while Kang struggled to keep up. (Fun fact: Hoseok was a trained street dancer. You’d found out tonight.) Ah, not only was he way too old for her, but he was also gay. Maybe she’d realise both on her own, if not you’d let her down gently later. Jungkook was dancing with Haram. She was laughing as he spun her around. They both looked like they were having fun, which was nice to witness. It was a far cry from their behaviour at your dinner party all those weeks ago.

Seokjin’s brother and wife were dancing with Taeoh and Jiu. His parents must be outside – crazy people. Namjoon and Yeeun were sat on a table; he whispered in her ear and made her giggle. Mari walked over, unintentionally interrupting them. Yuna and Jimin were nowhere to be seen.

While deep in concentration, a figure suddenly leaned over you, blocking your view, and you looked up to see a joyful looking Seokjin. His face was flushed and his eyes shiny, but he wasn’t drunk. Now that you were close to the end, he refused to touch even a drop of alcohol. Just in case.

He held out his hand. “Care to dance with me, my beautiful lady?”

“How about a shuffle?”

He chuckled. “I would want nothing more than to shuffle with you.”

With a grin, you took his hand, and he helped your stiff body up. You needed to dance at least once, or just get on the dancefloor. Thankfully, the song changed as you got there, something slow and meaningful again. You looped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his around your waist and started to sway slowly. He looked hot in a tux. If you had the energy, you’d rough it up later tonight. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the case.

“Happy early birthday,” you said, kissing him.

One of Seokjin’s palms slid to your bump as he smiled against your mouth. He pulled back slightly. “I’m looking forward to my early gift.”

“I love you, you know that, don’t you?” You didn’t know what it was, possibly the lyrics in the song you were dancing to, but the love you felt for him seemed to want to burst out of you.

“I do know that,” he replied, his smile turning into a cheeky grin. “I love you more, though.”

Laughing at how ridiculous he was, you gazed into one another’s eyes and continued to slow dance, Sarang in the middle. Even when the song shifted. Neither of you cared that you weren’t in time to the music. But before long, Yuna appeared at your side, tugging your arm.

“I’m stealing your woman,” she told Seokjin, who knew not to put up too much of a fight. She dragged you into the centre of the room. “I’ve been waiting for you to get on the floor all night!”

Well, she best make the most of it because she had exactly three more minutes before you gave out. You weren’t even moving your feet as she held your hands and moved your arms up and down, but you were both having fun, laughing and making noise. You span her around at one point, then felt a throb in your lower back. That was it.

“Yuna, I can’t do anymore,” you shouted over the music, one hand clutching the offending area.

“Party pooper!” she yelled, but she was grinning as she said it, kissing your cheek before you hobbled off, your feet killing you.

You made your way back to your corner, flopping down on the chair with a groan. Seokjin had disappeared again, but you didn’t mind. You needed five. Unless your bladder decided it wanted to be emptied again. You’d spent enough of your time in the restroom already. As you were sending a silent prayer to your bladder, you felt a twinge low in your stomach. You didn’t think much of it as you’d been experiencing similar things for a few days anyway. At your last doctor’s appointment, it had been confirmed that your bump had dropped, and Dr. Choi had said you might start experiencing some aches and twinges here and there as labour drew closer.

However, that twinge did feel a lot stronger, and your back was burning, but maybe it was because you’d been more active tonight than you had been for days – weeks even. As you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your lower back continued to throb. Your pain was interrupted by Kang coming over. He was breathing hard and sweat was beading from his hairline. The chair scraped across the floor as he threw himself down. “Not feeling it either?” you asked through gritted teeth.

“Hoseok doesn’t even know I’m gone,” he laughed weakly, then furrowed his brow when he took you in. “You okay?”

“I think I’ve hit my limit tonight,” you admitted, rubbing the underside of your bump. Maybe you should go find Seokjin and tell him you were going home. He could stay here, you didn’t mind, and you didn’t want to ruin his night. You were sure your dad could take you back, he hadn’t been drinking either because he had to drive back to the hotel he, Yeonja and your siblings were staying at for the night.

“Should I ask one of the waiting staff for some water?” Kang asked, sounding concerned.

You shook your head. “I’m fine.” Then belatedly remembered your manners. “Thank you.”

Kang didn’t look like he believed you.

“THERE YOU ARE!” Hoseok’s screech of a voice made you both jump, and you winced. Shit, your back felt as if it was on fire. “Don’t think you can sneak away from me, lover,” he told Kang, pulling at his hands. “Come dance again!” He noticed you then. “Hey, ____!” Then noticed your expression, instantly worried. “What’s wrong?”

You sucked in a breath. “Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Kang said. He leaned over, brows knitted together. “Are you sure you’re all right? You look like you’re in pain.”

You felt another—something. “I just—it’s just twinges.” They both saw your grimace. This wasn’t just a twinge. It was going on for a little longer, something inside you clenching. Stomach muscles maybe, or something else… “I should find Seokjin.” You jumped up with a buoyancy you didn’t know you had anymore, panic and pain driving your body.

“Maybe he stepped outside. Let me—”

Kang stopped abruptly when the sound of liquid splashed on the floor. There wasn’t much of it, and it was a similar sound to when you had a mug of tea filled too full and some slid over the brim and onto the floor as you walked. Only it was coming from between your legs, so it wasn’t tea. And you weren’t holding a mug.

“Is that…?” The colour drained from Hoseok’s face, which did nothing for your nerves. You stared wide-eyed at Kang. You needed him right now. He was a nurse. He could make sense of the situation. Had you peed yourself? It wouldn’t be the first time.

“____, don’t panic,” Kang began calmly, “but I think you might be in labour.”

“I can’t be.” You shook your head, adamant. Or maybe it was because you couldn’t be going into labour here. Surrounded by your family and friends and even some people you didn’t know. “I’m not due yet. My doctor said I might feel some—things but I—”

“____, your waters have broken,” Kang interrupted. Firmer this time.

“Oh God, not here.” You crumbled, heart starting to race ninety to the dozen.

“Sit back down,” he ordered softly, getting you back down into the chair. You felt damp between your legs and your socks felt slightly wet and gross. “Hoseok, go and find Jin – as discreetly as possible,” he added, looking around.

Good. The last thing you wanted to do was gain attention. But for how long that would be possible, you had no idea. You were in labour in the middle of a party.

“On it,” Hoseok nodded purposefully and disappearing.

No sooner had he gone, Jungkook was appearing in his place. “What’s going on here?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “ ____, wanna dance?”

“I don’t think she’s up to it right now,” Kang replied, his hand on your back.

Jungkook’s eyes widened as he took you in, and got wider when he noticed the floor. “Oh shit. Are you having the baby?”

“She’s in labour, yes,” Kang answered for you.

“Where’s Jin?”

“Hobi went to find him.” He tugged on Jungkook’s suit jacket. “Come here, crowd a little so people don’t realise what’s going on.”

Obliging, he hid you from view, the front of his shoe in your amniotic fluid! You made a strangled noise, but he didn’t seem to care. “Are you okay?” he asked, and he sounded panicked.

“Sort of,” you winced, moving a little because of your back. “I’m a little mortified if anything.”

In truth, you couldn’t quite believe it was happening. Surely you would have realised earlier? And surely you should be in more pain? You mean, yes, you were in pain right now, but shouldn’t it be worse? Or maybe it just hadn’t kicked in properly yet. Oh God, the thought made you nervous. Your hand was shaking as you brought it over your mouth, breathing out slowly.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Jungkook insisted. “I guess Sarang wanted to be a part of the fun too.”

You managed a smile, grateful he was trying to make a joke. “Fuck, I really hope she won’t be born right here right now.”

“You have a good few hours yet,” Kang reassured, still rubbing your back. “Don’t worry—”

“____!” Seokjin exclaimed, racing towards you, shoes skidding on the floor. There was nothing discreet about the father of your baby. Not that you cared right now, you just wanted him.

You reached out for him in panic, gripping his hand as he got closer. “Seokjin, she’s coming!”

Kang moved so Seokjin could take his seat. “This suddenly?” he asked, taking over rubbing your back. You knew what he was thinking. He’d only seen you twenty minutes ago. His eyes were wide, his breathing coming out in loud puffs.

“My back’s been aching more than usual today,” you started babbling. “I didn’t realise at first, I just thought it was—” You stopped when you felt another tightening sensation and looked up at Kang. “Are these contractions?”

He nodded. “You’ve probably been in latent labour for a few hours.”

Seokjin let out a shaky sigh. “We need to get to the birthing centre.”

“Call first,” Kang advised. “You might get there just to be sent home otherwise.”

“But she’s in labour!” Jungkook cried, then immediately clamped is jaw shut. Kang looked around but there was no one near your corner. Most people were on the dancefloor or outside.

“Let’s go somewhere quieter at least,” Seokjin said, stroking some of your hair. “Yeah?” he murmured, kissing your cheek.

You nodded, thankful. You didn’t want to be inside here one second longer. “Where are our parents?”

“They’re all sat in the gazebo. Jiu’s running around like Road Runner out there. She’s even tiring Taeoh out.”

Despite the situation, that got a laugh out of you. Jiu was getting confident on her tiny, little feet now. She was turning into a terror.

“I’ll go let them know. You go,” Hoseok said.

Seokjin smiled. “Thanks, Hobi.” He helped you up carefully. “Come on, let’s get you in the car. I’ll call the centre from there.” Leaning on him, he kissed your temple. “You’re okay,” he murmured.

“I’m okay,” you confirmed, psyching yourself up more than anything. You could do this. You had this.

Kang stayed behind to wait for Hoseok while Jungkook followed you both as you tried to make a quick and undiscovered exit. You made it out the room successfully before you remembered something – no wait, someone. You clutched Seokjin’s arm. “Wait, where’s Yuna? I need her.” You needed your best friend.

Jungkook looked back into the party. “I’ll go find her.”

It was cold outside, but it was nice. You felt as if you’d been boiling up inside. You sat in the passenger’s seat of Seokjin’s car with the door open as he crouched in front of you, stroking up and down your thighs.

“____! Oh my God,” Yuna cried, bursting out of the building, Jimin and Kang at her heels. The latter had your coat.

“Yuna, a bit quieter,” Seokjin hissed, standing up.

“Sorry,” she panted, her handbag gripped in her fingers. “Oh my God.” She got down low on the floor, replacing Seokjin. “Glob is coming!”

“I’m aware.” You felt another twinge—no, contraction—and held yourself rigid.

She fussed over you a minute while Seokjin paced behind her. Jimin and Kang were talking quietly among themselves. “Did your waters break?” she asked. They didn’t for some, and you’d both been wondering if it would happen for you.

“Yes. Oh shit, the floor!” Your neck snapped up and you stared over at Kang.

“Jungkook asked someone for a mop and bucket, don’t worry. He said it was champagne.”

Before you could squawk in horror – although, you had to admit that was very sweet of him to do that for you to avoid mortification – Seokjin’s phone started ringing. As he moved closer to you, you heard his mom’s frantic voice, but couldn’t make anything out.

“It’s fine, mom. Everything’s fine,” Seokjin told her evenly, shooting calmness through your veins. If he could stay in one piece, so could you. Maybe.

“I’m going to call the centre to see if we can check in. I’ll call you when I know more, all right?” His mother responded with something and he chuckled. “I will, don’t worry… Tell Minsoo and Yeonja she’s doing okay, please… Thank you. I better go. Bye.”

Seokjin immediately got up the contact for the birth centre but made sure to check on you before he hit call, even as Yuna buzzed between you both. You squeezed his hand, trying to stay calm despite everything. The time had finally come, you were going to have your baby.

#seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #fic:9mtfil #floralseokjin:writings

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dbnightingale24 · 10 months

Text

A Sneak Peek To ‘The Dog House Isn’t The Best, But It Can Still Be Our Home’

The final installation to ‘Pavlov’s Dog’

Finally getting back into the swing of writing!! It’s been a crazy month, so I haven’t been able to write like I want to, but I think we’re finally getting back into a habit...well, as much as a habit as one can get into. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it, and I can’t wait finish this up and post it!

Warnings: Swearing, Arguing, Heartbreak, Crying, Co-Parenting...ish

Word Count: 2163

Ransom’s P.O.V.

“You can’t be here,” you muttered as met me at your parents front door.

“You won’t answer my texts or calls-”

“Because we’re done! Ransom, please stop. Please! This hurts too much and we need to just call it quits!”

“Why? Because of what I said?! I know it was fucked up and I fucking apologized-”

“Ransom, I can’t do this right now! I can’t deal with you and all of your bullshit-”

“What bullshit?! I love you!”

“I don’t wanna do this with you again. Please, don’t make me do this again.”

“You love me-”

“What does that mean?! Honestly, what the fuck does that mean in this situation?! I said it before and I’ll fucking say it again: you’re a fucking bully, Ransom! You don’t care about who you hurt as long as you get your way, and I can’t do it! I’m no saint, but I’m not that terrible! Whether or not he’s your child or not, he didn’t deserve to hear you speak about him like that!”

“He is my child,” I confessed softly.

If the situation hadn’t been so damn serious, I would’ve laughed at the look of pure bewilderment on your face. You were probably wondering how I could’ve been so careless, cause it was all I could think about since Marta told the both of us.

“I can’t...I can’t do this right now, Ransom. I have to-”

“Y/N, I love you. I love you so much and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that,” I promised as I got down on one knee.

“You can’t be fucking serious right now!” you snapped as your eyes went wide.

“We’re meant to be-”

“Ransom, please don’t do this. Not right here and not right now,” you sobbed as you shook your head.

Why didn’t I listen? Why can’t I ever just fucking listen?

“Why not? It’s difficult, but it’s not impossible! We can do this!”

“Ransom, stop it! Please don’t do this-”

“Marry me, Y/N. Just say yes. We can do this, all you have to do is say-”

“No, Ransom,” you sobbed. “I won’t marry you. Not right now and not like this.”

“Y/N-”

“This isn’t how this is supposed to go. You don’t propose as a last desperate plea! I’m not some fucking toy, I’m not your Mom, and I’m not your fucking therapist. I can’t be your fucking scapegoat-”

“You wouldn’t be!”

“That’s all I would be! Ransom, I can’t do this-”

“Yes, you can! Just say yes! We can move, we can start over, we can start our lives together-”

“No we can’t! Ransom, this isn’t going to solve all of the problems we have-”

“But it can!”

“Ransom, please don’t make me give you a definite answer right now, because you won’t like it.”

“Just say yes! There’s no reason not to-”

“They’re a million reasons not to! Ransom, no. I can’t just jump into this because I’m in love with you-”

“Jump into this because you know it’s right! We’re right for each other and we have been-”

“What about your son?!”

“What about him?! She did all of this out of spite and jealousy-”

“So he should suffer?! He did nothing and-”

“He doesn’t even know me! He’s gone this long without knowing me, and he’s probably better off for it!”

“Do you even hear yourself?! That’s a fucking cop out and you know it!”

“I never wanted a life with her!”

“You still fucking lied to and manipulated her, Ransom! I hate to break it to you, but they’re consequences to your actions!”

“Listen, I know I fucked up and I hurt you...I’ve hurt others, but before this...Y/N, we were doing so good! Please! I love you and you love me-”

“Love isn’t enough, Ransom. Not this time,” you sobbed as you backed up. “Please, just leave me alone, Ransom. Stop sending flowers, stop coming up around, stop calling and texting...please, just let me go. I love you so much, but I can’t take this anymore. You’re one way with me in private, and completely different in public and I just can’t...you’re not a bad guy, Ransom. I know you want the rest of the world to see you that way as a defense mechanism, but I know you. Truly know you and I don’t like the asshole you pretend to be. I never expected you to be perfect, and yeah, I could live with a lot of things, but you’re just making excuses for yourself! You don’t try at all and I won’t...I can’t the only guiding light in your life. I can’t be the only thing you care about, especially when you don’t even care about yourself!”

“Sweet Thing-”

“No Ransom, I love you, but I can’t keep making excuses for you-for myself so I’ll be able to stomach the shady shit you do! Love is not enough-”

“Everything I’ve done is forgivable!”

“Tell that to Fran!”

“You were fine with it before-”

“Just because I stomached it, doesn’t mean I was fine with it, and ya know what? That’s on me. I talked myself into believing that you were trying to change because of how well you were treating me, but that was all bullshit, wasn’t it? It was all an act-”

“No, it wasn’t! I love you-”

“Ransom, I can’t do this anymore. Love is clearly not enough...not anymore.”

“Y/N-”

“Please go,” you sobbed softly.

What other choice did I have? The resignation was in your eyes, and it had been there since we got back to my house that day. I can’t even blame you, because it’s my lifestyle that put us in the position we’re in, isn’t it? There’s not even a ‘we’.

There’s only me.

You could barely even look at me today, and why should you? Why would you? Lets not pretend any of this shit is on you. From day one, I’ve been getting all of this shit wrong, for reasons that shouldn’t have mattered. I should’ve gone after you the right way when I had the chance, but pride and fear got in the way and I stayed silent. Then, when I finally decided that it was time to go after you, it was because of my bruised ego. Then, despite all of the hell you ended up going through, you still gave me a chance.

Why do I have to fuck up everything? Why can’t I ever bite my tongue, especially when my temper flares up.

You were 100% right in everything that you said. You and I have had so many talks about our shitty childhoods, how terrible our parents were, and what the fuck do I do? The second the words left my mouth, I knew you were more furious with me than anything else, but I couldn’t stop myself.

Fuck Marta.

Yeah, I know my actions have consequences and all that shit, but she did this out of spite, and a stupid weak attempt to win me back. She knew I would snap, especially with Linda being there, and it had nothing to do with our son getting to know me.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t throw you down the fucking steps right now?!” I snarled as I threw the results of the paternity test down. “You little bitch-”

“He has a right to know-”

“Bullshit! Marta this is all bullshit! You don’t give a fuck if that kid knows who his father is or not, and-”

“He’s your son, Ransom!”

“Then why wait until now?! You tell me about him after how many years?!”

She said nothing as tears streamed down her face.

“FUCKING ANSWER ME, MARTA! YOU JUST RUINED THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IN MY LIFE-”

“YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME!” she shouted at me. “You told me you loved me, took half of the inheritance and the company and left!”

“Don’t fucking blame me because you didn’t cover your own ass, Marta! You’ve always known the type of man I am, so I don’t know why you truly believed you were so fucking so special when I-”

“Because you made me believe I was! You made me-”

“Jesus Marta, has no one ever taken you out? Showed you a good time, fucked you senseless? I do a few basic things and you thought a ring was coming? I barely even had to work get that money, but and it’s my fault?! Have I not made sure you’re taken care of? You’re sister and Mother are taken care of, aren’t they?! I’m the one keeping the family afloat in accordance to Harlan’s wishes, not Walt, so I’m still taking care of you! So what the fuck?!”

“What the fuck is so special about her?! What’s so fucking great about her that you’re ready and willing to change your ways?! Why do you get to have your happy ending?! All you do is take from and hurt people! So no! I wasn’t about to sit back and let you live in some fucking fairy-tale!”

“I hope you don’t expect me to help you raise him-”

“He’s your son and now he knows who his Father is!”

“He also knows I don’t want him, and whose fucking fault is that?! You didn’t think about him at all! Not only does Linda know, but you made sure to crush his soul!”

“That’s not-”

“Not what? Not fucking true? It fucking burns you, doesn’t it?! You’re not the fucking saint that everyone thinks you are! At the end of the fucking day, you’re just as terrible and two faced as the rest of us!” I spat at her, venom laced in every word.

She’d probably been holding it in for a majority of the talk, but she finally ran to the trash and threw up everything in her.

“Exactly, as much as you hate me, I can read you like a fucking book. You’re not as holy, perfect, and saint like as you’d like for everyone to believe. Fuck you, Marta!” I yelled before I started to storm out.

“What...what do you think is gonna...happen?” she breathed once she finally got herself together. “You think...you think she’s gonna take you back after you abandoned your own son? After...after all the things you’ve...said? She’s too good for you, Ransom. She doesn’t want damaged goods.”

It’s not like she was wrong.

There was no way in hell you’d take me back, especially if I would’ve abandoned my own child...again. So, I’ve been trying. Really trying. The kid isn’t so bad, and more times than not, I enjoy spending time with him. It’s just not how I imagined things at all. I never even wanted kids until I had your attention, and you’re the only one I ever wanted children with. However, things are what they are, and I do my best to make him happy. Even if you weren’t in the picture, I know what it’s like to have shitty parents.

You were right in saying that my carelessness isn’t his fault.

So, I take him to ball games, I try to care about how he does in school (even though I didn’t care about school, at all), I bring him to work and show him what might be his one day, I call when I’m not around, I don’t yell at him when cries (like my fucking mother did), and I try to control my temper around him. So far, he’s a pretty evened out kid, and I won’t be responsible for fucking him up.

“He’s asleep now,” Marta smiles at me as she makes her way down the stairs. “He had a great day, Ransom. Thanks for the surprise trip to the museum.”

“Yeah well, he’s my son too,” I shrug as I get up. “I’ll be back next weekend to pick him up-”

“Stay. We can talk, watch a movie-”

“Marta, don’t. Nothing has changed between us, it’s the same as they’ve always been.”

“She barely even looked at you today, Ransom.”

“That doesn’t mean I fell in love with you.”

“Ransom-”

“You got your revenge, Marta. I don’t know what the hell else you want from me. I help you raise our child, you and your family are still taken care of, I keep you looped into everything that happens with the publishing company-”

“What’s so wrong with me that you can’t even try to make it work, Ransom?”

“You’re just not her, Marta. That’s not meant to hurt you. That’s not to make you feel small, and I don’t want to argue. I have loved Y/N since kindergarten and it’s only grown over time. Yeah, I’m an asshole, that’s not lost on anyone, but I do truly love Y/N. You made sure to kill any chance of that relationship turning into something real, so you win. At the end of the day, you win. I’ll see you next weekend,” I nod before making my way out, leaving Marta heartbroken once again.

taglist: @emerald-evans, @maroonsunrise83, @nomadstucky, @autumnrose40, @fuckingbye, @companionjones, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @mazda098, @pono-pura-vida

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