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kal-djarin · 3 years

Text

Memories From the Past

Fandom: Star Wars

Date Posted: February 8th, 2021

Pairing: Reader x Obi-Wan Kenobi

Warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive themes but no actual smut, fighting?

Request: n/a

A/N: Okay I’m actually kinda proud of this one. I really love the dynamic of Obitine so I tried to translate that into fic without stealing the entire plot, but it steal is very obviously similar. I really hope the flash back scenes and change in pov. make sense, I had some issues trying to figure out what tense I should use for them, but hopefully it’s not confusing. IM SORRY THE ENDING IS RUSHED!!! As always please let me know what you think!!

Word Count: 4.5k

The news of Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi’s return to Sundari caused an array of emotions throughout the Palace. The Royal Guards were more watchful than usual, still not truly able to release the years of grudges held against the Jedi Order and Satine, was glad to be reunited with her old friend, despite the impromptu meeting being over possible changes in where the planet stood in the Clone Wars; a figure dressed in Mandalorian armour attacking a Republic cruiser would bring anyone to question the supposed position of neutrality Mandalore held.

You, on the other hand, were instantly filled with dread. Years have passed from the last time you have laid eyes on Obi-Wan and still the mere mention of him causes hundreds of memories to resurface.

When Satine became Duchess of Mandalore, many people were happy, but there were still insurgents that would not accept her pacifist leadership. They would send bounty hunters to try to eliminate her and the power she held. These constant threats against her life compelled Obi-Wan and his Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn to remove her and you, her most trusted advisor, from Mandalore and live on the run for nearly a year.

You lived one day at a time, trying to focus on surviving the present and live to see what uncertainties the future held. Most people would think that living in such dubious conditions would be terrifying, but it was one of the best years of your life.

Right when you met Obi-Wan, you were instantly turned off by him, despite his handsome looks. His diplomatic kindness and reverence felt impersonal and fake instead of charming and he was far too arrogant for your liking. Qui-Gon, on the other hand, was someone you befriended very quickly. His empathetic and wise nature instantly connected the two of you and he became almost like a father-figure. He was constantly giving you advice and was the only reason you tolerated Obi-Wan in the beginning.

Obi-Wan instantly felt this disfavor towards him, bringing out his sarcasm and frequent jabs, making him even more unbearable. The two of you spent weeks either trying to see who could irritate the other more or just completely ignoring each other, to both Qui Gon and Satine’s dismay. Qui-Gon always tried convincing you that you and Obi-Wan would make a great pair if the two of you would just stop being so stubborn, but his advice fell onto deaf ears.

Your hostility towards each other did die however, when you were being chased by venom-mites on a cliff on Draboon. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fought them off as you and Satine escaped to the ship. Satine ran onto the boarding ramp and just as you were about to join her, you tripped over a divot in the ground, the momentum of it almost completely hurtling you off the side of the cliff, had you not grabbed a hold of the ledge.

All you can remember was the absolute terror that coursed through your veins and Satine’s horrified scream. Your body was hung over what seemed to be a bottomless pit and the only thing anchoring it were your hands; hands that were rather weak from a life devoid of physical exertion and that were slipping as each second passed.

You struggled, trying to find a way to climb up to solid land, but soon realized all the effort was fruitless. Obi-Wan, startled by Satine’s cries for help, turned around and saw your rather unfortunate situation. His eyes widened and he quickly turned from his Master and ran towards where you hung. When he was close enough, he slid to his knees and stretched his arm out to you.

“(Y/N), Take my hand!”

You wanted to, you really did, but the fear of falling to transfer your grip from the ground to his hand was too debilitating.

“Obi-Wan, I can’t, I’ll fall!” You managed to choke out

“You have to trust me!” His voice was loud, but still held its usual steadiness. His eyes however gave away his true emotions. They were frantically searching your own trying to convince you to lay your life in his hands. You could practically feel his terror radiating off of him.

Realizing you were out of options, you slowly released your grip and reached out to grasp his outstretched hand. Your fingers barely grazed his own and you knew it was too late. Gravity met you full force, and you felt yourself scream as your body began to plummet.

Then, all of a sudden, a warm cradling feeling caught you, interrupting your imminent death. You felt yourself rise over the cliff and saw Obi-Wan’s concentrated face and twitching hand. When you were about a foot above the ground, you dropped into Obi-Wan’s arms, and let out a sob of relief. Your body was racked with tears, still trying to process what just happened, and Obi-Wan just held you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, seeking comfort for your near death, and leaned against Obi-Wan’s own shaking body.

That day was the start of a new relationship for the two of you. You began to confide in each other more and felt the trust between the two of you grow as time passed. Obi-Wan dropped his guard of fake diplomacy and began to act more like himself. Of course, he still had his sarcastic humor, but it was more endearing now and his kindness felt genuine.

Soon, your relationship became more than just finding comfort in each other. When one of you couldn’t sleep, you and Obi-Wan would just sit together and talk until you became tired or if it was time to get up. Being around him was effortless and there was an understanding the two of you had that was rare to find. Of course, there was still tension between the two of you but it was different, less hostile.

If your relationship with him had ended there, innocent and full of what-ifs, you would have been just as excited as Satine was to see him. You wouldn’t currently be standing in the throne room, shaking with anxiety, waiting for him to step through the doors.

Just as you begin to contemplate completely ditching Obi-Wan’s arrival, the doors are opened and you hear the Prime Minister talking to him.

You look down and try to not draw attention to yourself, which is impossible considering Satine insisted you walk in beside her. Satine knew you and Obi-Wan were close, but you never told just how far your relationship with him went, so she didn’t see anything with the reunion. She sits down at the throne and you stand next to her. They greet each other briefly and the sound of Obi-Wan being so close to you again gives you the courage to finally meet his gaze.

He looks absolutely radiant, somehow looking more attractive than you remembered. His hair is a bit longer and a perfectly trimmed bear adorns his handsome face. You can’t help but stare, trying to take in the view you have been deprived of for almost 15 years.

“After all these years, you're even more beautiful than ever,” He says towards Satine, but still keeps his eyes locked on you.

You break the intense eye contact and try to not let his smooth words affect you. He doesn’t falter at your discreet rejection and continues the diplomatic conversation between him and Satine. She invites him on a walk through the city, and to your dismay, she gestures for you to join them. You walk just behind Satine, allowing the two of them to lead the way. Air speeders whistle by around you and people walk around the city, going about their day, unbothered by the Duchess and Jedi moving around them. You hear Satine talk about the current predicament Mandalore has found itself in with the Death Watch and you know you should be paying attention and adding into the conversation for sake of not seeming rude, but can’t help but carefully watch Obi-Wan’s side profile as he walks.

It’s perfect just like the rest of him and triggers yet another memory in your mind: you and his first kiss. It was a couple months after the incident on Draboon, and the four of you were forced to spend the night in a cave because of a rather wild storm. You sat on the cold floor near the fire Qui-Gon made, unable to rest, just watching the rain hit the mouth of the cave for hours. Unlike you, Satine used her time wisely, quickly finding much needed sleep. Qui-Gon had been meditating earlier, but now seemed to be resting as well, facing the inside of the cave. Obi-Wan sat cross-legged, reading a book about, if you remembered from his earlier explanation correctly, the method of Jar’Kai, farthest from the fire.

It wasn’t long before he noticed your restless form and decided to sit down next to you, close enough for your shoulders to touch.

“What’s up with you?” He asked, nudging your shoulder with his own.

Usually this kind of touch wouldn’t have caused you any issues, but more recently, you began to take note of every physical contact the two of you made. Obi-Wan was rather reserved, so knowing he so frequently chose to make contact with you gave you conflicting feelings. You turned and looked at him and suddenly felt rather sad.

“Don’t you wish we could be more carefree, like other people our age?”

He looked taken aback from your sudden question, but soon began to contemplate, fingers coming up to gently grasp his chin. After a moment, he looked back at you and shook his head.

“I never truly have thought about it. Why?” He questions further.

You knew why. No matter how hard you tried to deny it, Obi-Wan has found a special place in your heart. Months of confiding and building trust with one another let you get to know his true personality, making it impossible not to feel so much for him. But, although you were just teenagers, the both of you had responsibilities and expectations of you. He was a Jedi and you had to stay focused on helping Satine rebuild Mandalore after the raging civil war.

So instead of answering his question, you decided to satiate the need to feel reckless by standing up and walking out into the rain. The feel of the cold drops on your skin should have annoyed you, but instead it made you feel alive; it helped numb the feelings you so badly wish you didn’t have.

“What are you doing!” Obi-Wan yelled, looking alarmed at your sudden uncharacteristic decision.

“I’m living!!” You replied, soaking in the feeling of the rain and quickly running back and grabbing his hands with your dripping ones.

“Come on, Obi Wan, join me” You urged. His eyes are wide in shock but, nonetheless, takes off his outer robes and walks out into the rain.

His trust to join you with no question made you feel even more giddy and you dragged him into the middle of the valley that the cave sat in. You grabbed his hands and began to dance, if you could even call it that. Obi-Wan, as comfortable as he was with you, immediately stiffened up, since he was never truly taught how to dance. This setback, however, caused little pause in your actions and you just spun with him around in a circle.

The drumming of the rain did little to drown out your laugh whenever Obi-Wan would stumble, to his dismay, but he too began to chuckle at the unskilled dancing going on. You gazed up at him and just from the look on his face you knew your feelings for him were going nowhere. His hair laid flat on his head, soaked, and his face was covered in water and he looked breathtaking. He made you feel safe and trusted and maybe that was the reason you decided to risk it all.

You grabbed his face between your hands and pressed your lips to his. It was short-lived, with him quickly pulling away with his eyebrows furrowed and lips parted.

You instantly were filled with regret, embarrassed from the rejection, and went to run back into the cave to hide from your mistake. You felt selfish, trying to act on feelings that completely disrespected everything Obi-Wan lived for. Right when you pulled away from his arms, Obi-Wan quickly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back in.

His hands went up to cradle your face and he kissed you. It was overwhelming how much emotion he was channeling through it. The kiss was needy and hard but his hands were gentle, one of them coming up to tangle itself in your soaked hair. You could tell he was inexperienced, his form being a tad messy, but the passion put into it made up for any mistakes.

You feel a hand rest on your shoulder and are instantly pulled out of the memory. You see Satine looking at you, worry written all over her face.

“(Y/N), are you alright?” She asks, her eyes searching your face.

You go to answer her and shut down any of her worries about you, but catch a glimpse of Obi-Wan and lose the words. His face looks almost distraught and you know he must have seen what you were thinking of. You force yourself to look away from him and respond to Satine.

“Yes, sorry I must have zoned out.” You apologize, hoping she buys your white lie. “As a matter of fact is it alright if I return to the Palace, I think I need a little rest”

She still looks worried, but quickly approves of your request and turns back to walk with Obi-Wan, who still seems bothered by your memory, but remains cordial and attentive.

You turn and go back to the Palace, a single guard flanking your side. When you return, you do exactly what you told Satine, you lie on your bed and rest, or at least try to.

***

When Obi-Wan sensed the memory you were thinking of, he was no longer able to focus on the important matter at hand. Even after the bombing on Mandalore after you left and him nearly being crushed to death on Concordia, he found himself thinking about it. He remembers that day so clearly; the first time he truly gave into his temptations.

He had worked so hard to stay in the Jedi Order- nobody wanted him as a Padawan. He was always not enough and it was only by fate that Qui-Gon decided to take him under his wing. He knew better than anyone that the title of Jedi was invaluable and there you were making him question everything he ever knew. He knew Jedi weren’t supposed to form attachments or express their emotions, so why did he keep indulging himself with your presence.

The moment you kissed him, Obi-Wan’s instinct was to run. He was powerless against the attachment he had to you, so he knew the best way to stop it was to completely remove himself from the situation. He had every intention of doing so when he pulled away the first time, but then his other instincts kicked in. He felt the feel of your hands on his face, the closeness of your body, and realized there was no way he could let this go, at least not now.

Days after the kiss, Obi-Wan was filled with disgust at himself. He hated that he let himself indulge. He hated how he completely disregarded everything he was ever taught. He hated the fact that he loved every second of it, and what he hated most of all is that he began to wonder how it would feel to kiss your neck, skin, and other very un Jedi-like places.

Because of this, the months of progress the two of you made in your relationship were completely erased. He knew it was unfair to you, but he had to uphold the morals of a Jedi, and being around you made that goal impossible. He reverted back to the arrogant and guarded Padawan and pushed you away every time you tried to fix things.

But his efforts were fruitless. You knew Obi-Wan and were not able to let go of his sudden change in personality.

His Master also noticed the sudden change in relationship and decided to take matters in his own hands. He decided to send the two of you off on a mission to retrieve some sort of plant and herb. The two of you walked through the woods, The entire trip, Obi-Wan ignored every attempt of yours to engage in conversation and didn’t even truly acknowledge your presence. You finally decided to confront him, to his dismay.

“Was it truly that horrifying to kiss me, Obi-Wan”

“What?” He said, trying to keep the act up.

“Was it so bad to the point of ignoring me,” You pushed, getting angrier by the minute.

“I hardly see how that is relevant to the current task at han-” He began to deflect but was cut off by you grabbing his shoulder and whipping him around. Angry tears began to form in your eyes and at the site, Obi-Wan felt his facade crack.

“You don’t get to decide to drop me when things get hard, Obi-Wan” You spat, emphasizing your words by jabbing your finger on his chest.

Obi-Wan tried. He tried so hard to stay away from you. But the look of anger and heartbreak on your face made him, give into your spell, once again. He grabbed your hand and looked into your eyes.

He knew he was going to hate himself after, like last time, but the temporary pleasure it brought was impossible to resist, so he kissed you.

The kiss was hard and full of anger: anger at you, at himself, at the Jedi Order, and at the world for making you his weakness. You instantly reacted bringing your hand around to run through his short auburn hair and pulling your body as close as possible.

Obi-Wan deepened the kiss, letting his tongue explore the inners of your mouth, inciting a moan from your lips. Obi-Wan felt himself flush from the obscene sound and couldn’t help but feel bolder from the thought of bringing you pleasure. He started to kiss along your jawline and down your neck, his brain becoming muddled from the pleasure of it all.

You had begun to take off his robes and that was when he came to his senses. He knew he had to stop this, it was completely un Jedi-like and uncivilized, especially out in the open. His thoughts were immediately shut down however when you slid your hand down his chest. He decided to burn every single pleasure and feeling into memory and worry later. Your hand began to venture between his legs and that was the second time Obi-Wan gave into temptation.

You were all he could think about while fighting on Concordia, and he knew this was why Jedi don’t form attachments. Just the memory of your relationship caused his judgement to be clouded. He couldn’t imagine how he would have been if you were there during the fight with Death Watch: constantly worried, focused on an individual rather than the greater good.

He was relieved to get on to the Coronet and away from the memory of his failures as a Jedi, but that relief was short-lived when he saw you boarding the ship alongside Satine.

***

Satine, as strong-willed as ever, insisted on you going to Coruscant with her. She didn’t want you to be alone on Mandalore, vulnerable to the rapidly more aggressive Death Watch attacks. Once aboard the ship, you settle into your temporary room and head down to meet back up with the Duchess, who was currently discussing her position of neutrality with other senators down the hall.

As you walk towards the meeting, you run into a young, handsome man and Obi-Wan. You immediately freeze, not prepared for the sudden direct interaction and just stare at him. “O-Obi-Wan” You stutter out, not knowing how to fully go about this.

Obi-Wan looks equally as startled, but recovers quickly and introduces you to the younger man.

“(Y/N), this is Anakin Skywalker, my Padawan and Anakin this is Adviser (L/N).”

You tear your eyes away from Obi-Wan’s and quickly greet Anakin with a nod and small smile. Wordlessly, you walk through the door and head to Satine’s side, not before hearing the Padawan say, “On a first name basis, huh, Master?” and a small grunt following a hitting noise.

The meeting was full of high tensions, many, including Obi-Wan, disagreeing with Mandalore’s neutrality. It was always an issue when brought up, and even you saw the issues with it. The idea of staying neutral and not interfering in a war is noble but is much harder in execution and can cause more turmoil in the long run.

As soon as the meeting is dismissed, you file out of the room, trying to avoid any more confrontation. You head to the room where you are supposed to have dinner and find Satine waiting for you.

Obi-Wan enters the room, walking with other leaders. All you had to do was get to Coruscant. Once there you can get out of here and not have to think about Obi-Wan Kenobi ever again. You zone out for most of the meal, not noticing the nervous atmosphere starting to settle over everyone or the warning Obi-Wan gives about a situation going on below decks.

You are suddenly pulled out of your own head, when you hear him yell to the guards about securing the lifts. You see the blue light of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber and Satine quickly stands up from the table, bringing you with her.

A horrifying crunching sound is heard and the doors to the lift begins to wrench open, revealing a giant spider droid. It easily knocks down the guards and clambers onto the table, quickly approaching the group of senators. Obi-Wan goes into action and severs the spider droid's legs and lands a fatal lightsaber wound to its head.

The people around you breathe a sigh of relief but soon find out that it's far from over. Miniature spider droids begin to pop out of the body of the larger one and spread out to box the group of you in. Senators begin freaking out, but you and Satine know better. Years of dealing with the pushback of the people have forced you to learn how to defend yourself. Not to mention, the year spent with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan required you to spend quite a bit of time learning to fight. You and Satine immediately pull out your deactivators and get to work killing the droids.

Obi-Wan joins the fight with his lightsaber and the two of you fall into the instinctual rhythm from all those years ago. Back to back, slowly turning, ensuring the other doesn’t get too overwhelmed by the enemy. As much as you hate being reminded of your once very close relationship, it's easier to connect to him through the ease of physical touch. You can predict his movements and fighting techniques, making it much easier to interact than dialogue. Once all, except one, of the droids are eliminated, Obi-Wan turns towards you and seems as if he has something to say but quickly stops himself and walks away to check on the others. The adrenaline coursing through your veins from the fight keeps you on edge however, even after you return to your seat.

It stays with you, even when Anakin returns to inform Obi-Wan that there is a seperatist among you. The surviving spider droid is walked around the table, a test to see who it won’t attack. When Obi-Wan reaches Tal Merrik, a sudden change in the droid's hostile behavior proves him to be a traitor.

You watch in horror as Tal grabs Satine and holds a blaster to her head. The adrenaline from the previous fight serves you well because, even before Obi-Wan has time to react to the sudden change in severity of the situation, a fallen guard’s blaster, set to stun, is in your hand and has already raised and fired at the Senator. He quickly falls, releasing Satine.

You release a shaky breath and everyone, including Obi-Wan, stares in shock at your quick save.

“T-thank you,” Satine says, obviously shaken from almost being held hostage.

You nod in acknowledgment and watch as Tal Merrik is put into custody.

For obvious reasons, all the senators decide to retire to their rooms for the rest of the night.

Exhausted emotionally and physically, you do the same and head to your room after making sure Satine arrived at hers safely. You are about to relax into your bed when you hear a knock at the door. You open it to find Obi-Wan standing there, looking rather uncomfortable. “What do you want, Obi-Wan,” you sigh, tired of hiding from your past.

“I thought that we could talk”

“You are the last person to want to talk about feelings, Obi” You say turning around and heading back into the room, silently allowing him access to your space.

He walks in and closes the door behind him and leans against the wall opposite of you.

“I thought it would be a benefit to the both of us if we just talk”

“What do you want me to say Obi-Wan?” You raise your voice, tired of his roundabout way of talking.

“Do you want me to say I’m in love with you? But you already knew that didn’t you, all those years ago, and you still left” you accuse spitefully, not believing that you could somehow still have feelings for such an emotionally constipated man.

His face contorts into one of regret and grief at the mention of his abandoning you, but you still don’t let up.

“I think it’s better if you just go, Obi Wan. It’s what you do best.” You spit out, turning around to face away from him.

You hear him push off the wall and begin to move, but instead of leaving like you told him to, he walks up to you. You sense his presence against your back and he is so close you can feel his breath gently hitting the back of your neck. He stands there and lightly touches your hand with his own, breathing you in, again resorting to physical touch when his words fail. You bask in the closeness of him, giving into the way you missed his touch.

After a few moments, you hear him sigh and pull away from you.

“Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order”

With that confession, he slowly leaves and shuts the door, leaving you more confused and heartbroken than ever.

#obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi wan oneshot #obi wan x reader #obiwan #obi wan headcanon #clone wars x reader #obi wan angst #obi wan smut #starwars x reader

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kal-djarin · 3 years

Text

Gone

Fandom: Star Wars

Date Posted: February 4th, 2021

Pairing: Jedi! Reader x Anakin Skywalker

Warnings: angst, season 5 spoilers for clone wars!!!, bad writing

Request: nah

A/N: I didn’t like how this one turned out- its a bit rushed and oddly worded- but I really like the concept of someone still being there for Anakin after Ahsoka leaves so I’m just gonna leave it. Sorry for any spell errors and such a rushed ending!!

Word Count: 1.08k

(I DON’T OWN THIS GIF)

You stood there, as Ahsoka sealed her fate and closed back up the hand offering her silka bead padawan braid- her entire livelihood-, in shock. You and Anakin fought so hard to clear her name and find the person to blame for framing her and she’s leaving anyway.

Deep down, you know Ahsoka had to leave; the people who surrounded her, people that were supposed to guide and teach her, who watched her grow and learn, were the same that lost trust in her right when they were given the chance. You, selfishly, wanted her to stay for you. Even though you were a Jedi Knight and she was a Padawan, Ahsoka was your best friend. She was one of the only solid things in your life throughout the war and she set an example for what a Jedi was supposed to be: determined, compassionate, and hard-working.

You know Ahsoka. The amount of self-doubt coursing through her from this lack of trust must be devastating. You are so wrapped up in your thoughts and staring at the beads clenched in Anakin’s fist that you don’t even process Ahsoka leaving the room until the door is closed.

You and Anakin rush to follow and when you guys catch up she is already outside, near the steps. Anakin runs after her.

“Ahsoka wait! Ahsoka, we need to talk to you!” He yells, hoping that she will hear us out. You reach them while they are in the middle of a rather intense conversation.

“What about us, we believed in you, we stood by you.” Anakin stresses, sounding desperate.

“I know you guys believed in me, Anakin, and I’m grateful for that. But this isn’t about you two. I can’t stay here any longer, not now.” Ahsoka says, looking between you and Anakin.

“Ahsoka please don’t leav-” You start but Anakin quickly interrupts, “The Jedi Order is your life. You can’t just throw it away like this. Ahsoka, you are making a mistake.”

“Maybe, but I have to sort this out on my own, without the Council and without you.” Ahsoka begs, trying to make you guys understand and the look in her eyes is enough for your pushing to falter. She looks so tired and hurt and you suddenly realize that trying to convince her to stay will only make her hurt more.

Anakin, still desperate, keeps going, “I understand. More than you realize, I understand wanting to walk away from the Order.”

Ahsoka sighs and looks between the two of you.

“I Know” she gives you each one last tearful look and then walks away from you.

You and Anakin helplessly watch, losing yet another important person from your life. She goes down the steps, disappearing from sight. The two of you sit there in silence, trying to comprehend Ahsoka’s leaving. After a while, Anakin slowly walks back inside, a little too calm for his usual rash personality, and you follow him all the way to the turbo lift.

Right when you step in, you sense the anger surrounding Anakin. Anger towards Barriss for framing Ahsoka, at Master Windu for not admitting the Council’s mistake, and at himself for not convincing her to stay.

That’s when the gravity of the situation hits you full force.

Ahsoka was gone. She was gone and it was your fault. Maybe if you had fought for her a little harder and proved your trust in her more often, she might have stayed. But you didn’t and there is nothing that you can do now that will change that.

Anakin must sense the new wave of loss crashing over you through the force because you feel his rage start to fade into sadness as he glances over at you and hits the emergency break on the lift. You feel his hand touch his arm and the physical contact pushes you over the edge. Full-fledged sobs wrack your body and you, throwing whatever dignity and honor to the Jedi Code into the wind, throw yourself into Anakin’s arms, and he lets you. “She’s really gone” you sobbed, clutching onto his robes.

You feel him nod and sigh in a small voice

“I know”

You look up at him and see tears forming in his eyes, still trying to keep the strong facade up. Here you are, selfishly feeling sorry for yourself, not even thinking of how Anakin might feel. His padawan, his sister, left him. You hug him harder and feel his back hit the wall of the lift and slide down.

You cry on the floor in his arms, keeping his face buried into your neck and the feel of his tears dropping onto your shoulder breaks your heart even more.

Calming yourself down, you lean back until you see his red, streaky face and rest your forehead against his. He closes his eyes at the contact and another tear falls down his cheek.

You release a shaky breath and whisper, “She had to leave. She would have been miserable staying, knowing how little trust the Jedi had in her,” trying to soothe both yours and Anakin’s hurting hearts.

He nods but the tears don’t stop falling from his face. You slowly rise and pull him up with you and start back up the turbo lift. You get to the apartment floor and take his hand, guiding him to your room. Once inside, you take your outer-robes off, as well as Anakin’s, who just watches you, looking absolutely exhausted.

The both of you get in bed, you lying on his chest and his arms wrapped around you. He kisses you on the head and just stares at the ceiling. You try to send some comforting feelings through the force and lightly comb your fingers through his hair. You know the only thing that can heal this is time, but at least you have each other and the hope that Ahsoka will find what she is looking for.

***

Anakin just holds you as you sleep, the only person he has left by his side, with no obligations forcing them there. Of course he still has Obi-Wan, but their relationship is different. Obi-Wan didn’t allow himself to feel as openly as you and Anakin did.

And then there was Ahsoka leaving. The padawan braid still clutched in his fist was yet another reminder of how he will never be good enough to keep someone there. Another reason to cherish you, because sooner or later, you would leave too. They always do.

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #anakin needs a hug #anisoka #ahsoka #ahsoka tano #anakin fluff

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kal-djarin · 3 years

Text

All Worked Up

Fandom: Star Wars

Date Posted: February 3rd, 2021

Pairing: Jedi! Reader x Anakin Skywalker

Warnings: does a lightsaber fight count? Suggestive themes?

Request: nada

A/N: this one was fun to make, especially since I got to research the different lightsaber forms. Also this one is a bit more spicy than my last two; i’m just testing the waters. Again, didn’t read it over so hopefully the grammar/spelling is alright. As always, please let me know how I can improve my writing, this is all still an experiment. I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!

Word Count: 1.5k

(I DON’T OWN THIS GIF)

Anakin Skywalker is the most infuriating person you have ever met. Everything he does causes an unnatural amount of anger to rise in you. Whether he is training, talking with Master Kenobi, or just standing there, you just want to punch that perfect face of his; and that’s the worst part.

He is, to put it lightly, absolutely gorgeous, annoyingly so. His face is perfectly symmetrical, his bone structure is perfect, and his eyes always hold that signature boyish glare that never fails to put annoying little butterflies in your stomach.

If his face wasn’t enough, his body looks like it was built by Greek gods. It should be a sin for a person to be so ethereal. The only thing that cancels out Anakin’s looks is his personality. He is reckless in battle, too cocky, and his arrogance takes away any possible attraction you could have for him (at least most of it)

Even now, while you are working on your lightsaber form, Anakin is able to distract you. He is training with Master Kenobi and you can’t help but hyper focus on the grunts and heavy breathing leaving his parted lips. Master Plo Koon seems to notice your distracted state and sloppy movements.

“(Y/N), you don’t seem to be present, what is on your mind?”

You instantly flush, hoping he doesn’t sense the non-Jedi-like thoughts swarming through your mind, yet another thing you can hate Anakin for. You compose yourself as much as possible and try to come up with a believable reason for being so distracted.

“I am just a bit tired, Master, I’m sorry.” you say, not totally lying.

It has been an exhausting past couple of days. With a small break from the actual battlefield, you have been trying to fit in as much training as possible to prepare for later missions. The lack of sleep has to be catching up with you, why else would be so easy to distract.

“Why don’t you go back to your room and rest. You won’t gain anything from a training lesson if you are too tired to retain anything.” Master Plo suggests.

“If you don’t mind master, I think I will train a little longer,” You state, not satisfied with your current performance

“If you say so. I will leave you be and if you need me, I will be meditating, just please don’t push yourself so hard (Y/N).” He reminds you, being the kind teacher he is, always looking out for your well being.

You give him a small smile and nod. You watch as he leaves the training room and begin to go back into your fighting stance. Ignoring the previous source of your distraction, you keep working on your form and strikes until the sun begins to set. Not realizing how late it was, you look around and see most of the other Padawans/Jedi Knights have left, leaving just you, Anakin, and his Master. Obi-Wan sees you acknowledging their presence and walks over with Anakin to you.

“Padawan (L/N),” he greets, “I have been summoned by the Jedi Council, would you and Anakin be able to complete this day’s training together?”

The Maker must be playing some trick on you.

“Of course, Master Kenobi” you respectfully accept.

Sparring with Anakin Skywalker wasn’t the ideal training day you had in mind. You glance over at the man in mind and see an irritating grin growing on his perfect face. Obi-Wan dismisses himself and leaves the two of you alone. Right as the door closes behind him, you roll your eyes at Anakin and reluctantly get ready for a fight.

“Aren’t you just a little ray of sunshine,” Anakin quips, still wearing a shit-eating grin.

“Shut it Skywalker, let’s just get this over with.” you grumble, still pissed that you found yourself stuck in this situation.

He chuckles at your hostility and gets into his own stance. You both ignite your lightsabers and begin to approach. Being the aggressive and predictable Jedi he is, Anakin is the first one to attack, with you easily blocking and counter-attacking. Like Master Plo, your saber technique is derived from Form V, known for its aggression and quick recovery from opposing strikes. This technique helps you gain and hold the upper in most situations, however, when you are fighting someone like Anakin, there is a small issue: he also uses Form V. Because of this, the power dynamic throughout the fight is a tug-of-war, both of you craving the feeling of dominating the other.

“You are gonna have to try harder than that,” Anakin pants out when you try to feign striking left and cut across his other side.

“I’m just getting started” you growled, getting annoyed at his arrogance.

A couple of minutes into the contested fight for power, your eyes become suddenly fixed on a single bead of sweat running down Anakin’s face and neck, disappearing down his robes. You are so captivated you don’t even realize that you aren’t paying attention, giving Anakin the perfect opportunity to sweep your feet. You fall hard. Face slamming into the floor hard. Even Anakin has the decency to look a little worried. You lay there for a second, fuming at his small win. You start to get up and a new rush of anger runs through you when you see his legs. Even His damn calves are worth drooling over.

You get back up, determined to knock his confidence down a few pegs. He is still looking at you worried, trying to make sure you are alright and you use this to your advantage. You take your saber and strike over your head in a perfect arc and Anakin quickly holds up his own in defense. The sabers make contact, forming a cross and a flash of blue and (L/C) light from the impact. His eyes widen at your new found strength and quickly works to create an opening with a counter attack. His saber swipes yours away, causing you to stumble and him to complete his strike. However, you don’t give in so easily and use the force to thrust him in the opposite direction. He slides a few feet away from you and a wave of anger crosses his face.

“I thought using the force was against the rules.” He said, very obviously annoyed at the sudden change.

“Who said anything about rules?” you taunt, trying to get a rise out of him.

He scoffs and his eyes turn predatory at your retort, all while flashing you a grin. He advances on you again, this time slower but more strategic. You watch him carefully as he stalks around you, measuring up your stance. You suddenly feel the force, pulling you towards Anakin. You struggle against it, but alas its pull was too strong and you land against him, your back flush against his chest. His lightsaber cages you in, inches away from your neck, close enough where you can feel the heat radiating off of it. You feel his breath over your ear, forcing you to suppress a shiver, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of it.

“Do you yield?” He whispers into your neck.

Your first reaction is to do just that. But, once again, your pride being too strong, you don’t give up just yet. You spin around, careful of the scorching plasma, and face the alluring Jedi. You gaze down at his parted lips and begin to lean in. His eyes widen in shock but he quickly recovers and begins to close his eyes as you inch closer.

Right when you are just close enough to kiss him you whisper, “Never,” and flip him onto the ground. To your dismay, his arm that was holding his lightsaber was also wrapped around you, pulling you down right after him. His lightsaber deactivates as it hits the ground and he grunts when you land on top of him. You try to get up quickly, but he is faster and flips you so that you are underneath him. You panic at how close Anakin’s face is to you and push on his chest in an attempt to throw him off.

“Get off of me!” you growl, struggling against the arms that cage you in.

He leans down and whispers in your ear, “Do you really want me too?”

This time you can’t suppress the shudder his breath against your skin gives you. He pulls away from you and glances down at your lips, that are parted from your ragged breaths. You begin to panic even more, not wanting to give into your attraction for him. Desperate, you try to insult him as a last effort.

“You are a conceited, arrogant asshol-” you say but are soon interrupted by Anakin’s lips pressing to yours.

His kiss was bruising and needy. You instantly melted into it, giving into the feelings you have been suppressing for so long. Just like during the lightsaber fight, both of you fought for dominance, him having the upper hand just from his position on top of you. Embarrassingly, a whine slips from you as he pulls his lips from you. You feel heat rise to your face from the submissive response, but Anakin ignores your mortification and steals one last kiss from you.

His eyes take in the image of you underneath him, and slightly out of breath he says, “Fuck, you’re hot when you’re all worked up.”

#anakin skywalker #clone wars anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #clone wars x reader #star wars x reader #anakin smut

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kal-djarin · 3 years

Text

Broken

Fandom: Star Wars

Date Posted: February 1st, 2021

Pairing: Jedi! Reader x Obi-Wan Kenobi

Warnings: angst and clone wars season 5 spoilers

Request: nope

A/N: aye this is my second fic. I did not expect people to actually like the first one lmao. I couldn't convince myself to read it over so sorry if it has a lot of mistakes!! In this one, the reader and Obi-Wan aren't "together" but they definitely have feelings for each other, its just bad timing. As always please let me know how I can improve and I hope its okay.

Word Count: 1.2k

War causes even the greatest of Jedi to break down. Despite years of training to prevent emotions from leading your actions, everyone has a breaking point and needs support to keep going. Day after day of watching men, good men, die would haunt anyone, especially those who put each of those deaths on their own consciousness.

After the takeover of Mandalore, Obi-Wan worked harder than ever before. He would go on mission after mission, not stopping for breaks unless you or Anakin forced him to. You knew about Duchess Satine’s death and how close she and Obi-Wan were, but you didn’t realize that his reaction would be so severe. Once he gave all the information to the Council after his return, he refused to talk about what unfolded on Mandalore, no matter how hard you pushed.

After a while, you gave up on trying to get Obi-Wan to talk and just let him slowly try to drown himself in fighting. Of course, both you and Anakin still worried about his well being, but you also knew it was fruitless trying to argue with the stubborn man.

Seven weeks after Satine’s death, Obi-Wan finally ran out of missions to go on and was back in the Jedi Temple. Happy that he is finally able to fully rest, you decide that you will see how he is when you cross paths with him. Your day was fairly normal: you taught the younglings, trained with Yoda, meditated, and read in the Jedi Archives. You still hadn’t run into Obi-Wan, which wasn’t too surprising considering how large the Jedi Temple actually was. It was becoming quite late so you go up to your chambers and prepare to go to sleep, with the intentions of seeking out Obi-Wan tomorrow.

Right as you are about to start your night meditation, you hear a soft knock on your door. You open it to find exactly the man you were hoping to see. Obi-Wan stands there, still in his robes, despite the late hour, and looks absolutely wrecked. His eyes are red and puffy and his hair is askew, as if someone has been running their hand through it. Not used to seeing the usually extremely put together man like this, you stand there for a second, completely in shock. Before you even register what is happening, Obi-Wan rushes the doorway and grabs your stiff body into a bone-crushing hug. You quickly close the door and try to make sense of what is going on.

“Obi-Wan, what wrong!?” You say, alarmed at his sudden display of affection.

His face buries into your neck and you feel his beard scratching your collarbones. You hear him saying something but it is too muffled to hear, so you ask him to repeat himself.

You feel him pull away slightly and whimper out, “I didn’t save her.”

You feel your heart shatter from just how tiny and defeated his voice sounds. The past few weeks must have finally caught up to him and he no longer has anything to distract himself from truly feeling the aftermath. You guide him over to the bed where you sit him down and wait for him to elaborate.

“I-I watched her die, right in front of me, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it,” He continues, his eyes slowly starting to well up with tears as they stare blankly at the wall.

You sit down next to him and hold both his hands in your own.

“Obi-Wan,” you say trying to get his attention, but ultimately failing. You gently grab his chin and move his head to face you.

“Obi-Wan, you couldn’t have stopped it, no one could have stopped her from dying.” you reason with him, trying to stop his self-loathing thoughts.

His lip trembles and he puts his face into his hands and rests them on his knees. You go to wrap your arms around him, like before, but he stiffens up and moves away. Confused, you try to reach out to him through the force. Your force signature wraps around his own, a silent plea to be let in, but you are met with a barrier. It’s as if he built a metal wall between you and what he is truly feeling.

You stand up and kneel in front of him. You reach up and touch his arms, which are still holding up his head, and try to soothe them. You lightly caress them and see if you can coax his head away from his hands. Suddenly, after a couple of minutes, you feel him start to relax and let you pull his hands away from his face.

“Let me in,” you beg, just wanting to share the burden of his pain.

His head begins to shake, but you quickly shut down his rejection by pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. His eyes widen, not used to the open affection and the same hand comes to hold your cheek. His eyes search yours and you give him a small nod in encouragement. Again, you reach out a tendril of your force-signature to envelope his own, and this time the wall easily is broken down. Once inside, an onslaught of pent up emotions hit you at once.

You feel everything: all the hate, sadness, grief. You see him reliving the moment that Satine reached out for him as the Darksaber impaled her. You see him holding her, leaning his head into the hand she placed on his cheek. You hear her choked last words, “Remember my dear Obi-Wan, I loved you always... I always will.” You see him pushing himself to the limit during every mission, skipping sleep and pushing down his tears. You release yourself from the pain of it all and look back up at him, tears welling up in your own eyes.

“Oh Obi-Wan,” you sigh, standing up and guiding him to your bed. You lay him down, hoping he will get some sleep. You sit beside him and begin to caress his hair.

“It wasn’t your fault,”

“If I never defeated Maul the first time, she would still be alive,” he argues.

“If you didn’t defeat the Maul the first time, thousands of more people would be dead, including you.” you reasoned, trying to let him see from a different perspective.

His eyes stare at the ceiling and you get up to get him water. As you stand up, his hands grab your arms.

“Please stay,” he pleads, his eyes looking more lost than you have ever seen from him.

You silently oblige, and crawl into the bed next to him. He faces you and wraps his arms around your upper half, nuzzling his face into your neck.

“I saw the life leave her eyes.” he mumbles and you feel warm tears on your shoulder, but all you can focus on is Obi-Wan wrapped around you.

“I know Obi-Wan, I know” you said, trying to calm him with your own force-signature.

You feel him accept your presence and his body slowly relaxes against your own. Knowing how closed off Obi-Wan can be, you feel a small bit of pride that he confided in you when he was overwhelmed and feeling broken.

You didn’t get much sleep that night, considering Obi-Wan was still plagued with nightmares regarding that day, but it was all worth it if it meant you could help him glue the peices back together.

#obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi wan oneshot #obi wan fluff #obi wan x reader #obi wan x satine #duchess satine #starwars x reader #star wars fanfiction #clone wars x reader

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kal-djarin · 3 years

Text

Attached

Fandom: Star Wars

Date Posted: January 30th, 2021

Pairing: Jedi! Reader x Obi-Wan Kenobi

Warnings: none that I know of?

Request: nah

A/N: so this is my first time ever writing anything so I am so sorry if it is terrible, I didn't have the guts to proof-read it. Also, sorry if the romance feels rushed, I tried to time it as best as I could. Please let me know how I can make my writing better!!!

Word Count: 4.4k (I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO LONG UNTIL I FINISHED)

Obi-Wan Kenobi has always had an addictive personality, to say the least. He had a way of making light of any situation with his sarcastic quips and quick wit, even during the most gruesome of battles. Maybe this was the cause of your ever-growing infatuation with the reputable Jedi or perhaps it was the way he always had a hint of rebellion in his eyes, despite his groomed appearance and strict code-abiding ways.

As Plo-Koon’s padawan, you weren’t able to see Obi-Wan as often as you wished, but it made even the smallest of interactions memorable; just making eye contact with the man while walking through the halls of the Temple resulted in sleepless nights. Even Anakin began to sense your constant flustered state whenever his Master walked into the room, no matter how hard you tried to keep those feelings out of your force signature. He teased you constantly and would always try to see how embarrassed he could make you in front of Obi-Wan.

Once you and Anakin underwent the Knighting ceremony, he went as far to tell you to follow your heart and confess your feelings for him.

“Y/N, you can’t keep walking through life bottling up every emotion you feel!” Anakin said, exasperated

“Isn’t that the whole point of being a Jedi,” you say, not at all surprised that it would be Anakin telling you to rebel against the Order.

“And anyways, unlike you, Anakin, not all of us decide to go against our entire upbringing and marry a senator.” you pointed out, effectively shutting him up about the subject.

It was inconceivable just to think about revealing your feelings to Obi-Wan. There were too many factors against you and the idea of being rejected by him after years of secret pining would be devastating. The worst part is that you know he would reject you in a gentle and kind way, making it impossible for you to hate him for it.

Not only were attachments forbidden by the Jedi council, but Obi-Wan was known for his adherence to the law and there’s no way he would break it for anyone, especially you. You were only a newly knighted Jedi and probably completely off of his radar, if he even had one. There was only one solution for your feelings for Obi-Wan: try to avoid him until they begin to fade.

But since the Maker has a vendetta against you, you, Obi-Wan, R2-D2, Anakin, and his padawan, Ahsoka, were assigned to leave Coruscant for a mission on Naboo. Senator Amidala was having a ball to celebrate the Festival of Light and there were rumors regarding a potential attempt on Senator Organa’s life, so the Order offered to send some Jedi to ensure the safety of the guests and Padmé.

The trip is going to be about a week long, so you mentally prepare being in close quarters with Master Kenobi. When you arrive at the hangar, you are pleasantly surprised to see the ship that was being boarded by Anakin and Ahsoka was bigger than what you expected. You board the ship with a new-found confidence in being able to complete the mission without embarrassing yourself.

“How is the whole avoiding Obi-Wan thing going for you, (Y/N),” Anakin teases once he sees you enter the cockpit.

“Why are you trying to avoid Master Kenobi?” Ashoka asks, looking between you and Anakin confused.

“Anakin I swear to-”

“Our beloved (Y/N) here has a crush on him.” Anakin interrupts and before you can yell at him for sharing that embarrassing information you hear a set of boots walking up the ramp. Your heart stops and you say a prayer to whoever is listening that Obi-Wan did not hear your conversation.

“Is everyone about ready to leave?” Obi-Wan’s accented voice rings out, coming closer to the cockpit.

Feeling yourself heat up from embarrassment, you quickly turn around and face the pilot seat in front of you in an attempt to avoid seeing him. You release a relieved breath, not sensing he heard anything. He walks in and once you calm down and realize how rude you must look, you slowly turn back towards him. He greets you with a smile and you can’t help but return the gesture. That breathtaking smile alone makes you feel like a flustered padawan again but you realize that if you are going to get through this mission and over your feelings, you must overcome your want to shy away.

“Hello Master Kenobi. Yes I believe we are all ready,” You say; your words were stiffly said but at least they weren't a stuttering mess.

He nods in acknowledgment and sits down in the pilot seat across from where you are standing. Anakin closely follows and sits in the adjacent seat, but not before stifling a laugh at the glare you give him for almost revealing to Obi-Wan how you feel. You sit behind Anakin and Ahsoka sits beside you. Anakin starts the ship and begins to fly towards the Chommell sector, where Naboo resides. Once you have left the atmosphere, he initiates hyperspace travel.

Once in hyperspace, Obi-Wan excuses himself and leaves the cockpit to meditate. Right when the door to the cockpit shuts Ahsoka snaps her head towards you.

“You have a crush on Master Kenobi?!” she whisper shouts, but it is still loud enough to facilitate a small internal freak out from you.

You don’t respond and keep looking out the window, contemplating whether or not to jump into the void of blurring stars in order to avoid this confrontation. Ahsoka, on the other hand, takes your silence as a confirmation to her statement.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ahsoka exclaims to you and Anakin, mostly in disbelief that you never mentioned this and that Anakin was able to keep a secret like that to himself.

“Well it’s not exactly something I’m proud of, Ahsoka,” you say, turning towards her.

“We’re Jedi.” you state solemnly, “It doesn’t matter who knows about our feelings; it doesn’t change the fact that we will never get to act on them or even truly experience them.”

“I know, but maybe you could-” Ahsoka starts but you are quick to shut down any false hope she could make for you.

“Ahsoka, there’s nothing you can do, I just have to get over it,” you say a bit harsher than intended. You and Ahsoka don’t have the most conventional of Padawan and Jedi Knight relationships, but then again neither did her Anakin. Since you were still a young Knight, you two were more like sisters, making you feel infinitely more guilty for taking your frustration out on her

“Look, Ahsoka, I’m sorry, it’s just that I don’t want to get my hopes up over something that will never happen”

“I just don’t like seeing you hurting, (Y/N)”

“You could always tell him.” Anakin chimes in,

You look at him, annoyed with his ever present need to pull the trigger, and then turn back to Ahsoka.

“I’ll be fine, I always am,” you assure her, but honestly you say it more to reassure yourself.

****

A couple of days past and you successfully have limited your time with Obi-Wan as much as physically possible. He was a very structured man and figuring out his daily routine was easy, so all you had to do was go to a part of the ship he wasn’t, or in worst cases, meditate so he couldn’t interact with you even if he wanted to.

But of course, Anakin, always being the meddler, picked up on your perfectly coordinated avoidance of his Master. He decided to “spontaneously” take Ahsoka to the back to do more training, leaving you and Obi-Wan to man the cockpit.

You approach the metal doors, mentally preparing having to spend the next couple of hours or so with the Jedi Master.

“Master Kenobi.” you greet as soon as you walk in.

“General (L/N), how nice of you to finally join me.” He says with a sarcastic edge but the smile on his face shows he means nothing by it. “In fact, I’ve hardly seen you this entire trip.” He states, matter-of-factly.

You nervously laugh while sitting down in the pilot seat next to him, in an attempt to release some stress over the fact that he noticed. The worst part is that there is a sick kind of rush of pleasure you get from the fact that he noticed you were missing.

You face forward, trying to ignore the way he is watching your movements.

“How much time until we reach Naboo?”

“According to the navigation system, about 23 hours, allowing us to arrive about…7 hours before the actual festivities.” He responds, looking at the display before returning his gaze to you.

“You seem unsettled,” He continues and you meet the concerned look in his eyes.

“I-I’m just…preparing myself for the mission,” you quickly come up with an excuse, slightly cursing the force for putting your emotions on display.

“There’s no reason to worry, at least from what the Council and Anakin have told me, but then again, Anakin is not known for his accuracy of judgement of how difficult a mission may be” Obi-Wan replies while grimacing, most likely remembering his padawan’s past misjudgments.

“There is something to be admired about Anakin’s lack of self-preservation,” You joke, starting to loosen up at the fact that Obi-Wan didn’t pick up on your lie.

You feel a sense of pride go through you when you see him laugh at your attempt of humor.

“Yes, Anakin has al-” He starts but is quickly interrupted by an angry series of beeps coming from the navigation system. You check the monitor and don't see why the ship is freaking out, until hundreds of small dots appear on the radar.

Obi-Wan is quick to react and begins to prepare the ship to enter the asteroid field. It doesn’t seem to be too congested but enough where you begin to worry.

“R2, take control of the steering!” He shouts and is given a series of beeps of affirmation by the astromech

You enter the field and suddenly wish you remembered to buckle up; R2’s steering is jerky and all over the place, but at least the ship is still intact. You grab on to the armrests of your seat as tight as you can and hope R2 will be successful.

Obi-Wan, as outwardly calm as ever, says, “Hope you don’t mind a bumpy ride!”

His sarcastic words force a laugh out of you. Even still, despite the fact you could be facing imminent death, he expresses dry humor.

The field seems to stretch on forever and R2 navigates through it without error. Finally seeing the end approaching, you begin to loosen your death grip on the chair. To your horror, R2 sharply jerks the ship to the left one last time, throwing both you and Obi-Wan out of the pilot seats. Landing with your back on the far wall, your eyes shut on instinct when your head slams into the metal. It’s not until you feel breath fanning your face and open your eyes that you realize that you weren’t only one who fell over here.

Obi-Wan’s hands are pressed against the metal beside your shoulders, caging you in. His arms are bent at the elbows from absorbing the impact of his landing, making his body even closer to your own. His nose is close enough to touch your own and you can feel his legs tangled between your own.

His eyes widen in shock and you begin to see the parts of his cheeks not covered by his trimmed beard turn a rosy pink. You would almost find it cute how his ears were becoming a bright red if it wasn't for your own embarrassment. It only makes matters worse when you watch Obi-Wan slowly glance down at your parted lips, still taking in the image of you pressed against him. If he could sense your unsettledness when you walked into the room, there is no doubt in your mind that your force signature is screaming your feelings. The seconds felt like hours and it seemed that both of you were completely frozen. You are so lost in the moment that you hardly react quickly enough to separate from him when the metal doors to the cockpit slide open.

Anakin’s annoyed shout entered the room.

“What the hell was that!” Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice the flustered state of both you and his former master.

“I-it w-was an um…” his voice trails off as he keeps looking at you.

“An asteroid field! It was an asteroid field,” you quickly say in an attempt to fill in his words.

“Thanks for the heads up,” Anakin says sarcastically, still oblivious, and heads to the back to make sure Ahsoka was alright.

It’s only then when you begin to feel the throbbing in your head. Your facial expression must have given away the pain you are currently in, since Obi-Wan quickly sits you down and looks at the place where your head hit the wall, making sure you had no serious injuries. Throughout the entire examination, he didn’t meet your eyes once and he didn’t have the same surety in his movements like he usually did. Once Obi-Wan finished, he quickly excused himself and left the room, leaving you more confused than you had been.

Not even a minute later, Anakin pops his head in, quickly rubs R2 affectionately on the head, and then turns his attention to you.

“What the hell did you do to Obi-wan, he looks like he’s seen a ghost.”

***

After the accident, Obi-Wan was now the one avoiding you. He would excuse himself whenever you entered the same part of the ship as him. You couldn’t help but feel guilty for making him so uncomfortable, even though it wasn’t your fault.

You were going to apologize to him, but by the time you arrived on Naboo, you realized the moment had already passed. Senator Amidala greets you right when you walk down the boarding ramp. You and Padme have always had a close relationship, especially since you are one of the only people who actually knows about her and Anakin.

“Master Kenobi, General (L/N), General Skywalker, it’s always a pleasure to see you,” Padmé said in her always regal and kind voice.

“Senator Amidala, in need of our assistance once again?” Anakin teases her, but still tries to keep the outward formal relationship displayed.

Padmé playfully rolled her eyes and escorts us into the

building that we are supposed to rest for the rest of the trip in.

She brings Anakin to his room first to his dismay, but quietly reassures him that she’ll be back after making sure you, Ahsoka, and Master Kenobi are settled in. Obi-Wan still hasn’t made eye contact with you or even truly acknowledged your presence. Once Padmé shows him to his room, she goes to the two doors across the hall, and lets Ahsoka into one and opens the other.

“and here is your room (Y/N).”

You walk inside and just like everything else on Naboo, the place is absolutely beautiful.

“I’m going to send up some dresses for you to choose from for the ball tonight and we could get ready together, if you want.” Padmé says, seeming excited at the idea of dressing up with you.

“Sorry Padmé, I was just going to wear my robes.” You tell her, while still preoccupied with exploring the room.”

“Didn’t Anakin tell you? To ensure that the supposed assassins don’t realize that they have been compromised, you all are supposed to dress in normal clothes.”

***

After hours of being poked and prodded by some of Padmé’s servants, you finally were ready for the ball. You looked beautiful when you looked in the mirror, but you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable because of this sudden change of appearance. You couldn’t remember the last time you dressed like this and your head still couldn’t wrap around the image it saw in the reflection. The dress you decided to wear was floor-length with a slit that stopped at your mid thigh and was a light blue. The top was a bit more modest but not by much. It was more risque than what you expected to wear, but Padme insisted that it look beautiful on you; also the slit allowed you to strap your lightsaber to your thigh, keeping it accessible, but still hidden. Your hair was in an intricate half-up half-down braid so it looked formal enough for the ball, but if you needed to engage with the potential assassin, it wouldn’t get in the way. As much as you protested, Padmé insisted on you borrowing her jewelry and makeup.

By the time you all finished, It was time to head to the ball. You, Ahsoka, and Padmé all arrive together, and quickly scan the outside for anything suspicious. You head inside and immediately people begin to swarm Padmé and thank her for hosting. You and Ahsoka excuse yourselves and begin to scan the crowd for Anakin and Obi-Wan.

You spot the back of a strawberry-blonde head next to Anakin’s always messy hair talking to a senator you didn’t recognize and begin heading towards them. Ahsoka gets there first, quickly getting Anakin’s attention and talking to him. When Anakin sees you he looks impressed.

“Wow, you clean up nice.” Anakin jokes, making Obi-Wan turn to see who he is talking to. When he sees you his smile falters and his eyes widen a bit. His cheeks start to redden.

“It’s just weird for you as it is for me, trust me” you say trying to overcome the sudden rush of self consciousness you feel.

“N-no you look…radiant, General (L/N).” Obi-Wan breathes out, his eyes scanning your body, slightly widening when they catch your upper thigh peeking through the slit.

You instantly flush at his words and look down in embarrassment from such a compliment from Obi-Wan.

You catch a glimpse of his shined shoes and realize that he, too, is not wearing his Jedi robes. Your eyes trail up his whole body and see he is in robes, but they appear much softer than the rough ones issued by the order and they resemble what a senator would wear. He looks absolutely breathtaking. “And you look…” your voice trails off in shock, “...very handsome, Master Kenobi”

Pamdé finally joins you, unintentionally saving you from the awkward tension. Anakin greets her and as always he instantly appears calmer and more relaxed in her presence.

You awkwardly sit in on their conversation, trying to distract yourself by scanning the room for anything or person out of place. Suddenly, the music began to shift to slower and people began to pair off. Anakin started slow dancing with Padmé, making sure that there was enough room between them to avoid any suspicion.

Obi-Wan walks into your field of vision.

“Would you like to dance with me...to blend in of course.” He says while raising his hand in an invitation.

“I-I would love to.”

Obi-Wan’s rough hand encloses your own and he leads you to the dance floor. Once, there his other hand comes around and rests above the small of your back and yours over his shoulder, hovering over the skin, scared to touch him. You start to slow dance and Obi-Wan glances over at your stiff hand, and his mouth breaks out into a grin

“Relax General (L/N). You are allowed to touch me.” He says quietly.

Your eyes widen at his sudden boldness, but comply nonetheless. He readjusts his grip on your hand so that they woven together and you place your hand on his shoulder. You look at him with uncertainty, but he gives you a small smile of encouragement and nod to approve of your actions. The longer you dance, the more you relax into it, and only internally freakout at his hand sliding a bit lower to the small of your back and his body moving much closer to yours.

You can’t imagine he isn’t seeing the emotions you are trying so hard to contain in your force signature. Your mind is freaking out at just how close Obi-Wan’s body was to you. Your body, however, wants to completely submit to the feelings and melt into his. By the time the song ends, you two are so close that you can feel Obi-Wan’s shaky breath on your cheek, and it all becomes much too overwhelming.

“Excuse me.” you quickly say, removing yourself from Obi-Wan.

You quickly shove your way through the crowds until you find doors leading out to a balcony. You open them and take several gulps of the fresh night air in an attempt to calm yourself. You hold onto the railing and stare out into the starry Naboo sky, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened. Suddenly, you feel the doors open behind you and sense Obi-Wan’s presence.

“Did I upset you, General (L/N)?”

“I can’t do this right now, Obi-Wan” you mutter, dropping the pleasantries of titles.

“And what exactly is this” He questioned, his voice sounding more desperate than you have ever heard before.

You turn to face him and see that his facial expression matches his tone: desperate and concerned. His eyes search your face as if he can find what you're thinking if he just looks hard enough.

You shake your head in disbelief.

“Do you think this is a game, Obi-Wan” you demanded.

His facial expression warped into one of confusion.

“A what?” He replies, seeming taken aback.

“A game. Do you think toying with me is fun? You just want to see how flustered you can make me, huh?”

“General (L/N), I don’t understand where all of this coming fro-”

“I am attached to you!” you interrupt, not realizing what you are saying before it leaves your mouth. Your eyes widen and you watch in horror as Obi-Wan comprehends what you just said.

“You are attach-” Obi-Wan starts, trying to understand the meaning behind your words but before he can, a loud crash is heard from inside the building. You rush past the frozen Jedi, relieved for the unexpected interruption. You attempt to shove down all of your feelings so you can evaluate the situation going on inside the ballroom.

People are fleeing from every which way, making it damn near impossible to understand what exactly is going on. The lights go out, making the room break out into even more chaos. You finally see Ahsoka, who is hovering over Senator Organa’s body. Thinking the worst, you rush over, but are quickly relieved to see him alive. Ahsoka notices you and fills you in.

“A sniper hidden in one of the interior balconies attempted to assassinate Senator Organa, but they only hit his blast vest, thankfully. Anakin is scanning the area right now to see if he can find them before they escape”

“Stay here with the senator, I’m gonna look around and see if I can find anything,” You say, running off to scan the outside of the building. Once you get out there, you see Anakin in pursuit of a tall figure running in the direction of a small single-person starship. You join in the chase, catching up to Anakin. “It’s a bounty hunter, she may have information on who wants Senator Organa dead!” He yells, not at all winded by the sprinting he is currently doing.

She gets to her ship, quickly hopping in and starting up the engine. You and Anakin jump onto the wings and ignite your lightsabers to try and disable the ship from leaving. The ship begins to hover just above the ground and veer left and right in an attempt to throw the two of you off.

“Where the hell is Obi-Wan!” Anakin swore while trying to maintain his balance.

“Finally ready to admit that you need me, Anakin? I thought I’d never live to see the day,” Obi-Wan suddenly quips, as if the last twenty minutes never happened, and uses his lightsaber to effectively damage the ship's engines. The bounty hunter tries to jump out, but Anakin quickly grabs her and throws her to the ground. The entire time that the girl is being put into custody and brought to the holding cell, you avoid Obi-Wan completely, mortified that you confessed how you feel for him.

When the whole ordeal is taken care of and she is set to return to Coruscant with you guys to be questioned there, Padmé insists that you, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka stay another night to rest. You quickly take her up on that offer, thankful that you can try to ease your embarrassment with another night with a hot shower and plush bed.

You head straight to your room, not bothering to talk to anyone, and immediately take a shower. You sit there under the scalding hot water trying to process what you have done. When you get out, you change into your pajamas. You try to relax, but quickly realize that you need to do something to resolve the unsettled feeling you have in the pit of your stomach. As much as you hate to admit it, you need to talk to Obi-Wan. You just have to say that you didn’t mean what you said and that it was just word-vomit, no true meaning behind them. You open your door and are about to step out until you realize that the man you want to see is right there, with his hand raised, about to knock on the door. His eyes widen in shock at the sudden opening of the door but before he can react you quickly try to explain yourself.

“Master Kenobi! I-I was just about to come see you. You see, I truly didn’t mean what I said earlier. It-t m-must have been the stress getting to m-” You ramble but quickly are cut off by the feeling of Obi-Wan’s hands cradling the sides of your face.

You look up in surprise but see his eyes holding a questioning look, asking if this is alright. You quickly nod and his lips are on yours. Obi-Wan’s kiss is just how you imagined it would be like: Soft and sweet and with his beard tickling your cheeks. His hands stay on your face as he pulls away all too soon and rests his forehead against your own and catches his breath.

“I have grown quite attached to you, as well, (F/N).”

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