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volklana · 9 months

Text

Honey Whiskey

Title comes from this song:

Request: An idea just wont leave my mind and I would love for you to write if its no trouble. What if during tfaws during Madripoor Bucky sleeps with Sharon and y/n is absolutely devastated, Zemo offers her the chance to get back at Bucky and jealous/protective Bucky ensues and reminds her who she really belongs to?

I kind of took it in a bit of a different direction but I still hope you enjoy xx

Warnings: Zemo x Reader//Bucky x Reader// Smut (With Both)//Angst

A/N: любимая (pronounced lyubimaya) means darling.

Not proof read but all mistakes will be corrected in time.

It was stupid to be crying in the bathroom.

There were so many bigger things at hand but here you were, holding yourself steady on the bathroom sink, tears streaming down your cheeks and forcing yourself to take deep breaths.

The worst part is you had seen it coming from the moment they locked eyes in Madripoor, their chemistry was undeniable. The stolen looks, the lingering touches and the sly smirks she threw your way when she realized you were wary.

But seeing her, sneaking out of his room, in nothing but his shirt certainly solidified it.

“Ooops,” she giggled, brushing past you with a shove, and you made it precisely to the close of your door before the tears fell.

You did your best to push your feelings aside, finding Nagle was way more important than whatever was going on with Bucky, Sharon and by extension you.

Pulling up to Zemo’s apartment, Bucky suddenly fell back, and announced he was going to take a walk. You followed after him intending to ask if he was ok, until you caught up to him and he was on the phone.

“I’ve been thinking about you too,” he laughed and you hung back a second, heart pumping a thousand miles an hour in your chest and slinked into an alley before he could see you, and it felt like you scrambled up the streets of Riga until you made it inside the door of Zemo’s apartment.

And here you were, propped up on the washbasin trying to prevent the tears falling.

You washed your hands and as you were drying them the bathroom door swung upon and now you were face to face with a pair of brown eyes that for the first time since you’d met him seemed genuinely kind, Zemo.

“What is this?” he said softly “Why do you cry?”

You scrunched your face, trying to answer but simply shook your head as the tears stung your eyes.

He moved to cup your face and you found yourself quite unable to move away, trapped between his warm body and the basin behind you. He used his thumb to gently sweep away the tears that stained your cheeks and you felt so ashamed looking up through wet lashes to examine the eyes baring down into yours.

The overhead lights made his brown eyes seem like honey whiskey that you could easily drown in. And you kind of wanted to...

“No man on earth is worth these,” he said almost in a whisper, stopping to examine the perfect droplet on his finger.

His gentleness scared you, but then again he must have been kind once, he had been married, she had trusted him enough to carry his children, there had to be tenderness there, beneath it all.

“He loves you,” he said simply and you shook your head, “James who you cry these tears for, he loves you. He is not ready to love you the way you deserve but he does love you.”

You wanted to know how he knew these things but you didn’t trust your own voice, you wanted to argue that you couldn’t compare even an inch to Sharon and suddenly he was stroking your cheek again.

“She doesn’t want him,” he stated simply “It’s a cruel game she’s playing. The Captain chose you over her, chose to keep you by his side. So she is taking your James just to prove she can.”

“She wants to hurt me,” you whispered and his eyes moved to look directly into yours, and he nodded slowly, intently.

“The way you hurt her.”

You wanted to argue that you hadn’t been the one to hurt her, but something else seemed more important in the moment.

“Hurt people, hurt people,” you stated looking up into his eyes and he hmmed.

“You were hurt,” you noted, brushing your hand along his arm, “Behind it all you were hurt.”

He nodded.

“You need to be careful with Sharon. I had everything I ever wanted, and I lost it all and so did she.” It was a warning. “She is dangerous.”

“What about you?” you questioned gently, “Do I need to be careful with you?”

“I am dangerous, yes..but I will never hurt you.”

His eyes flicked down to your lips and for a split second you wondered what it would feel like to kiss him, to fully immerse yourself in honey whisky and amber and bergamot

You startled at the sound of your name being called and you looked into his eyes sadly.

“Go, любимая,” he said sadly “They will be suspicious, I’ll stay just long enough to not arouse suspicions.”

Bucky and Sam were going to do recon, Zemo had gone to shower and you agreed to stay behind with him.

Before they left, Bucky doubled back.

“Are you sure you’re okay doll?” he enquired tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear “You know you can talk to me about anything don’t you?”

“I know Buck,” you sighed, unable to meet eyes, “I’ll talk to you when you get back, go on don’t keep Sam waiting.” you pushed and he seemed to accept he wasn’t going to get anything else from you.

Zemo emerged from his chambers in a navy bathrobe and your eyes immediately were drawn to a gold chain nestled in the hair on his chest.

You wanted to slide the robe open and watch it drop to the floor, you wanted to finish what you had started in the bathroom but the air was thick with things unsaid.

“Whisky?” he asked gently and you nodded. He had left the door to his room open and while he poured you looked at the four poster bed draped in red and gold.

What caught your eye was a cloth bound, faded book on his nightstand and you wanted to see what it was.

“Go ahead,” he nodded, following your line of sight and when you picked it up you gasped.

“Is this a first edition?” you were almost too afraid to turn the pages and he scoffed in reply “Of course!”

You were holding in your hand a first edition of Dostoevesky’s The Idiot.

“The world will be saved by beauty,” you mused, holding the book out to him, and he quirked his head in amusement.

“You have read Dostoevsky?”

“Of course,” you seemed offended.

“Do you think it’s true? That beauty can save the world.”

“I believe so,” he said no hint of teasing, as he came to join you in his room, “You are very beautiful and you do your best to protect the world. And there are still so many beautiful things in this world. Sit,” he instructed and you sat gently on his bed as you accepted the glass of whisky he handed you.

You looked at him for a long time and shook your head “Helmut, you could have had a good life. Look at this place,” you gestured around “You could have done some good.”

“I have no regrets, любимая. I did what I felt I needed to do to make sure nothing like Sokovia ever happens again. Now I live with the consequences.”

You brought your knee up to rest your chin on, he couldn’t quite make out your facial expression.

“You are sad for me?” he almost gasped coming to kneel before you, realisation hitting him like a brick in the face

“Yes,” you replied sadly, “And I am sad for me, because now that I see you, I don’t think I can ever look away again.”

He surged forward to meet your lips pushing you down into the mattress behind. You gasped, grasping the material of his robe and as he climbed on top of you, gold chain dangling in front of your eyes.

You slipped your hands along his chiseled chest and pushed his robe down his arms until the belt gave way and it slinked off his body and tumbled to the ground.

“My god,” you mused as you drank in his body, chiseled and lean and powerful, and he had you in the palm of his hands.

He pulled the flimsy material of your top apart and slid his hands up under the band of your bra, fondling your breasts until your back arched off the bed, without warning that was ripped away too and he made quick work of your jeans and underwear kissing his way up your inner thigh and all the way up to your breasts which he absolutely devoured, you were sure you would be marked tomorrow with the way he nipped the supple skin.

That gave you a sick satisfaction knowing you might carry his mark with you for days and nobody would know but him. “So fucking beautiful.” he mused.

He pushed your legs apart with his knee, “Tell me to stop, he panted in your ear “Tell me to stop before I can’t.”

“No, no,” you ordered, yanking on the gold chain to pull him closer “Don’t dare stop!”

His thrusts were slow and languid, and he pulled one of your legs over his shoulder, relishing in the feel of you, he chuckled as your eyes rolled back in your head. Face flushed red from the action.

Your eyes widened as his hand closed around your throat and he began to pick up speed, slowly.

“Your life is in my hands, and you would trust me with it?"

"Yes, I trust you," you panted honestly and he took his hands away completely, looking at you with an expression nothing short of adoration, before diving down to meet your lips again. You clasped his gold necklace in your hand for something to grasp as he pounded into you as you came undone, and ever the gentleman, once you had taken your turn he came after you.

You were close to sleep when he nuzzled into your hair "This is my only regret. That I will never get to do this again… not with you."

You didn't know how to respond so you simply placed a kiss to his chest.

You knew he was right, there was no way you would get to do this again, as soon as Sam found Karli, Zemo would be headed straight back to jail.

He was twirling a piece of your hair around his finger, content just holding you close, before you broke the silence.

“Would you like another glass of whisky?” he hmmd against your hair and you clambered out of the bed, picking his discarded robe off the ground and tossing it on, you reached for his glass on the nightstand and placed a kiss to his lips.

You had been right, his eyes were honey whisky and you had gladly drowned in them.

You filled up two glasses from the decanter on the island, and you heard his door close.

“You are so impatient Baron,” you giggled, turning around to come face to face not with honey whisky eyes, but cold, startled blue ones, Bucky.

"What the fuck is this?" he was seething, chest visibly rising and falling rapidly.

You were like a deer caught in headlights, too stunned to move a muscle.

“This is what’s been wrong with you? You’re hung up on that piece of shit? God!” he actually fumed “I left Sam on his own to come home and check on you because I was worried about you and all this time you were fucking him?”

“James,” Zemo’s voice startled Bucky from behind, “It wasn’t like that.”

Bucky moved so quickly it was like a blur and suddenly his metal arm was around Zemo’s throat and he pushed him back against the doorframe, “You fucking touched her, I told you I would kill you if you touched her! I told you she was mine!”

“Bucky,” you rushed trying to force yourself between them “Bucky, stop! Please!” You managed to get a hand on his chest and he allowed you to push him backwards, slowly releasing his hold on Zemo’s throat. Keeping your eye on him as he gulped in air, you kept your hand on Bucky’s chest, and he laughed suddenly.

“She actually cares, oh this is priceless. Tell me doll, how does it feel to be nothing but a conquest? To be a pawn in a game you didn’t even know you were playing?”

You looked at Zemo but he was refusing to meet your eye.

Was it true, he’d done all this for some sick joke? Or to get one up on Bucky?

You felt like you were going to be sick.

“Is it true? It was just a game to you?” you asked, voice so small you were ashamed and he lifted his eyes so quickly to meet your eyes, he began to shake his head but the way you were looking at him, so small, he couldn’t lie.

“Initially, yes. But I cannot deny that you got under my skin and I grew to care for you. Nobody could fake this past night we spent together.”

You hugged the fabric of his robe tighter around your body suddenly feeling way more exposed than you would have liked.

Your eyes were burning with red hot tears and you willed them not to fall.

Bucky huffed out a laugh again and you met his hard eyes, finding no compassion there, “I’ve always been a joke to you Buck haven’t I?”

You weren’t sure why in this moment it was Bucky you were mad at.

“You give me just enough to keep me holding on, and then fuck the next woman that comes your way, but it’s okay because you know I’ll be there to pick right up where you left me.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” he demanded, taking an angry step towards you.

“Sharon,” you offered meekly, taking a step back from him as shock crossed his face, “Yes James, I knew. I knew the moment it happened, that has been what’s wrong with me these past few days. I've been hung up on you. You James, not him.”

He couldn’t answer you, eyes scanning the room for some inspiration on how to respond.

“I’m done being a joke to men like you,” you directed at them both and Zemo took a step towards you only for Bucky to turn on him in warning not to come closer.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” you wiped swiftly at the tear that rolled down your cheek,” you sighed before laughing at your own stupidity, “Fellas, it was fun while it lasted.”

You sidestepped Bucky who reached for you as you made to move by and you didn’t spare Zemo a second look.

Neither of them tried to stop you leaving when you pulled your suitcase out the door and got into the taxi waiting outside.

You cried so much in the first few days you were home, you honestly had no tears left to cry.

You really missed Nat, she had always been the one you went to with boy trouble, she always knew how to kick your ass into action.

You’d seen the news the night before which meant Sam and Bucky would be home soon and you were not ready to face either of them, in fact you were actively dodging Sam’s calls which really wasn’t fair.

You heard his shuffled footsteps behind you, he wanted you to hear him, otherwise he was well capable of sneaking up on you.

“Why are you here?” your voice came out shakier than you wanted but you didn’t turn around.

“I needed to see you,” he pleaded.

“Buck,” you sighed, fumbling with your key in the lock before finally getting your apartment door open and stepping inside, Bucky followed suit closing the door behind him “I’m not doing this again. Whatever this toxic thing is, I don’t want it anymore.”

“Will you look at me?” he begged and you shook your head quickly.

“I can’t,” you cried. If you looked at him all your resolve would melt.

“Y/n, look at me please”

“Doll,” he begged, turning you to face him but you refused to meet his eye, arms folded across your chest to protect yourself, “Hey,” he pleaded, hooking his index finger under your chin and rubbing your bottom lip with his thumb.

“Will you please look at me,” he whispered and finally you allowed yourself to meet his eyes.

“I handled this all wrong,” he whispered again, continuing to brush his thumb gently over your lip “So wrong doll. And I am so sorry.” You wanted to lean slightly into his touch but you also wanted to protect yourself.

“I was scared,” he began but you rolled your eyes, he gave you a pleading look and continued “I know you don’t want to believe it but I wasn’t ready doll, I wasn’t ready to open myself up to being hurt. That’s the truth. It was a cop out, but I was scared.”

“Scared that I would hurt you?” you laughed incredulously, and he removed his hands from your face and looked genuinely upset.

“Yes,” he answered honestly, “Raynor she said I shouldn’t do this unless I was fully willing to be open and vulnerable with you. And I was afraid If I opened myself up to you-showed you all the ugly parts, it wouldn’t be enough. I was scared that I would not be enough for you. Those other girls didn't matter. Sharon didn’t matter. I’ve always been yours, Always. I’ve been yours from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

He truly looked upset, tears in his eyes and biting his cheek.

You honestly felt shell shocked and just about spluttered out “All this time I thought I wasn’t good enough for you! And you, you let me think that back in Riga. God!” you huffed “This is such a fucking mess!”

“I was out of line, I said things I didn’t mean because I was hurt.”

You hugged your arms around yourself “I was hurt too.” you cried and Bucky was before you in seconds.

“Tell me what to do, because I’m yours doll. I’m yours!” he was begging.

“Show me,” you panted pulling him to you “Show me you're mine”

He surged forward and pulled you to him in an instant and threw you over his shoulder and you squealed as he plopped you down on the bed.

He made quick work of both your clothes and catching your hands in his metal arm he trapped your arms above your head. He kissed his way down your neck, stopping to inspect a little mark just above your left breast, you watched his expression turn almost animalistic as he realised just who had given you that mark, he bit down and sucked hard on your neck, spurred on by the sounds he was eliciting from you.

“Nobody but me ever gets to mark you like this again,” he growled before he picked up a ferocious pace. You managed to wrangle free and he allowed you to flip him over so his back was pushed into the mattress, and you climbed on top.

You ran your hands from his muscled torso all the way up his chest and stopped to wrap your hands around his neck, “Who do you belong to?” you whispered, stilling all action. He groaned and shifted his hips in an attempt to get you to move.

You squeezed slightly tighter and god damn he made the hottest noise you had ever heard, begging from somewhere in the back of his throat.

“Who do you belong to Buck?”

“Fuck! You...doll. Belong to you,” he moaned “Please, please,” and with that you began to move your hips in ways that had the supersoldier crying out your name, hand fisted in your hair to expose the soft skin of your neck to him, he suddenly rose up and bit down again before he suddenly reached his release.

“Fuck!” he cried out again, collapsing back onto the bed pulling you down with him.

You were making some lunch when he emerged from the shower, towel wrapped around his waist and he began rummaging through his rucksack. He pulled out a square parcel wrapped in brown wrapping paper, and seemed to be hesitating giving it to you before finally conceding to whatever mental battle he was going through.

“As much as this literally, and I mean literally kills me to admit, I truly don’t believe you were just a conquest to Zemo. I promised him I would give this to you and to prove my devotion to you, I am keeping my promise.”

You gingerly unwrapped the parcel, and felt your eyes water as you realised what it was. The first edition of Dostoevsky’s The Idiot that you had picked up from his nightstand. There was a little note scrawled in beautiful cursive writing on a piece of parchment inside “лю��имая, my feelings were real, and the night was beautiful. And I do believe your beauty can save the world. HZ.”

Tagging:

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