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#young adult angst
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"Probably because they don't have a grave," Danny said, pulling out his vape. "Final resting places are--HEY!"
Nightwing held the pilfered vape above his head. "Where did you get this?" he asked, scandalized.
Danny jumped for it, but Nightwing was too tall! Even at 5'7 he'd have to use his powers to reach the vape; he had no chance as a 9 year old. "We're in Gotham! You're lucky I didn't get cocaine instead!"
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lokigodofmyheart · 29 days
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THROUGH TIME 
Loki x Female Reader.
Summary: The history of Loki and Y/N through the time since they were 8 years old. 
Warnnings: Canon Divergence; Mean Odin; Friends to lovers; really small enemies to lovers; virgin!Loki, virgin!Reader, first kiss, loss of virginity, marriage, planned pregnancy. 
Word count: 9.455
A/N: I really like to write this one. Loki deserves his happy ending. If I forgot any warnning, please let me know. English is not my first language. You can also find this work on AO3.
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Y/N and Loki had been best friends for a couple of years now. They met when her mother, a close friend of Frigga, accepted the invitation to move to Asgard and live with them. Loki and Y/N were 5 at the time ant that was 3 years ago. Now they’re 8 years old. 
Y/N had a nightmare that night and woke up scared, so she decided to go to her best friend’s room, like she usually did when she was scared. She knocked on his door, gently. Loki was laying on his bed, sobbing on his pillow, but when he heard a knock on his door, he sat up and tried to stop crying. Y/N didn’t wait for an answer, she knocked and enter his room and went straight to his bed with him. Loki looks over at her and wipes the last of his tears with the back of his hand “W-what do you want?” 
“What happened?” She asked worried seeing him cry, her nightmare long forgotten. 
“Dad hurt me...” Loki said quietly. 
Her face showed pure shock “...what?” 
Loki nods, looking down “He...he hit me.” 
Y/N hugged the little boy tightly “I’m so sorry, Loki.” He hugged her back, sobbing into her shoulders. “Do you want me to stay with you? Or maybe come to my room?” 
He looks at her, his face wet with the tears “I want to come to your room.” 
She held his hand as they got off his bed and walked to her room, Loki following her and still shaken. They went to her bed as soon as they entered Y/N’s room and Loki curls up next to her. “I’ll protect you.” She says to her friend. 
Loki smiles and closes his eyes, slowly beginning to fall asleep feeling safe with her. Y/N seeing he was peacefully, finally closed her eyes and slept too, with no more nightmares in the night. After that night, they made a habit to sleep together sometimes, but no one really mind since they were only kids. 
4 years later
Loki and Y/N were now 12 and they still sleeping close by with Y/N. They are laying on her bed, when she broke the silence. “How was your day?” Loki mumbles something about Odin being mean to him, again. “You should come train with me and Thor. Maybe that could help you relax." She smiles at him. 
Loki just nods at her. He didn’t like that much of the idea to train with Thor. Everyone thinks so highly of his brother. They talked for a few more minutes before they decided to sleep. Loki tried once to train with her and his brother, but he didn't like. So, he starts to spend more of his time in the library reading. 
3 years later
 They're 15 years old now. Loki had gotten taller than Y/N, which was normal, his voice had changed, and he looked more like a man than a boy. Y/N's body was also changing and they're both filled with hormones. Loki got better with his magic and Y/N got better with the fight skills. They still sleep sometimes together, it was a habit by now. But the hormones were starting to act on them. 
Loki was reading a book but couldn’t stop thinking of Y/N. He had thought of her a lot recently and had even caught himself fantasizing of her a lot. He tried to keep his mind on the book, but it was hard when he had been thinking about her so much. Then a knock came on the door and interrupted his thoughts. 
“Loki?” She called him. 
He put down his book and got up then walked over to the door and opened it, looking at her “Yeah?” 
“Can I come in?” She looked a little sad. 
“Uh, yeah.” he steps aside and opens the door wide enough for her to enter. Y/N follow straight to let her body fall on his bed with a groan. Loki walked and sat next to her with concern on his face “Are you okay?” 
“No.” 
“Why? What’s wrong?” Loki looked at her with genuine curiosity and concern. 
"Sif and your brother keep making fun of me because I never kissed anyone." She rolls her eyes. 
Loki thought about it for a minute before a smirk grew on his face “You haven’t kissed anyone at all?” 
"Oh, come on, not you too." Y/N says frustrated and looks away. 
He chuckles and playfully nudged her shoulder “I’m not making fun of you, I’m just surprised.” 
Y/N sighs, sitting and looking at him “Have you?” 
Loki turned slightly red “Well… no I haven’t kissed anyone…” Y/N smiles sympathetic at him. Loki was still a little red “B-but have you really never kissed anyone?” He still couldn’t believe it. In his mind Y/N had kissed loads of boys because she was so pretty. She just shakes her head at his question. 
He thinks for a second and then speaks “So let me get this right, you have never been kissed and I’ve never been kissed, right?” 
“Yeah...” She nods. 
Loki thinks for another second then looks back over at her “I have an idea…” 
“What is it?” Y/N asks curious at him. 
He takes a deep breath and then leans in towards Y/N “Just close your eyes…” She looks at him for a few seconds and then do as he asks. Loki takes a deep breath and then leans in further, so his lips meet hers. It isn’t a very long kiss and is quite short. When it is over Loki looks at her with a blush on his cheeks “So what do you think…” 
She he opens her eyes and smiles, with a blushing on her cheeks too "That was...uh, nice." 
Loki is still blushing hard and can’t pull his gaze from her “You really think so…?” 
Y/N nods "Can we...do it again?" 
He can’t contain the blush on his face and his body is practically radiate heat. His eyes are still glued to her face “Yeah definitely…” he leans back in for another kiss. She leans in too, kissing him. Loki’s mind was racing with thoughts. He never thought this would happen, especially when the person he’s kissing is Y/N. It was incredible, better than anything he had imagined in his fantasies. He holds her waist, pulling her closer to him as he kissed her. 
Loki moans softly into the kiss as the heat escalate, his body reacting to the heat between them. His hands move up her back, tangling in her hair as he deepens the kiss. He can feel himself growing hard against his pants and he breaks the kiss, gasping for air “We should stop.” 
Y/N could feel herself getting wet with just kissing Loki, but she agreed “Yeah, we should.” 
He nods, running his hand through his hair. He can feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He knows they need to stop before things go too far “Do you want to sleep here tonight...?” 
“Sure.” She smiles while she tries to recover from that hot kiss. 
Loki smiles back, laying down in the bed and patting the space next to him for her to lay down next to him. She does it and he pulls her close to him and hugs her tightly as he closes his eyes. 
“Loki?” She called him in a whisper. 
He opens his eyes and then looks at her “Yeah?” 
"We're not gonna tell about this to anyone, right?" 
Loki nods “Yeah definitely. I mean, there’s no reason for anyone to know about it. And I doubt you’d want just anyone to know about this.” 
"Yeah. Just two friends helping each other." She says smiling. Loki nods again and looks back down, closing his eyes. Y/N does the same and they soon fell asleep. 
3 years later
Loki and Y/N were now 18. Loki’s body had changed a lot since he was younger. He was more muscular than he was back then, and his face had matured to the point where he didn’t look like a little boy, but a man. Y/N also changed in those years. She looked like a grown woman now and it she was becoming one of the best fighters on the realm. 
Loki was laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, thinking about things that were not that important. He heard a knock at his door, and he sighed, getting up to answer it. He looked at Y/N standing there for a few seconds, her beauty striking him a little bit.  “Hey, you’re just back from training?” 
"Yeah. I beat Sif's ass all the time today." She laughs getting in his room, dropping her sword closer to his door. 
He grins “Damn, that’s pretty impressive. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you off or complain about you being better than her.” 
"How said she didn't?" Y/N laughs. 
“And I assume you gave her a good comeback, like saying how you’re better than her?” Loki laughed too. 
“Something like that.” She says still laughing. “Can I use your shower? Mine’s not working.” 
Loki tilts his head in curiosity but then nods “Sure, go ahead. There’s soap right next to the shower and a towel is on the floor next to it too.” 
"Thanks." She smiles and enters his bathroom. After a few minutes, Loki heard the shower being turned off. But then Y/N appears on the door with only a towel "Can I borrow one of your shirts? I forgot to bring my clothes." 
Loki looks at her, his eyes trailing down her body. He could see the outline of her breasts through the towel and feel a familiar stirring in his pants. He nods, standing up and grabbing a shirt from his dresser “Here you go.” 
"Thanks." She smiles "Maybe one of your boxers too?"  
Loki blinks caught off guard by her request. His heart races and his breathing hitches. He hesitates for a moment but then nods slowly, grabbing a pair of boxers from his drawer. He hands them to her with clumsy fingers. “Here.” 
"Thanks." She smiles and goes to the bathroom to get changed. She exits the clean clothes she’s borrow. Loki stares at her as she walks back into the room. He can't help but notice how sexy she looks in just his shirt and boxers. His mind races with thoughts of all the things he could do to her, all the ways he could touch her. Y/N lays by his side on the bed. 
Loki glances at her with a smirk “You look cute in my shirt.” 
She chuckles "Thanks." 
He can feel her body pressing against him, and he can't help but respond. His hand finds its way to her thigh, slowly moving upward. “What are you thinking about?” 
His touch sent shivers down her body "Sif and I were talking today about...some things." 
Loki nods and then leans closer to her “What sort of things…?” 
“Personal things...” 
He thinks for a moment and then speaks softly “can you tell me…?” 
Y/N chuckles and nods "She was telling me about her first time." 
Loki’s interest is piqued, and he raises his eyebrow “and…?” 
"I don’t know, I was just...wondering about things.” Y/N looks at him, a small blush on her face “Have you...did you already...Have you ever had sex?"” 
Loki turns red and he blushes “uhm well no….” 
“Really? But you’re a prince.” She smiles. 
He shrugs and blushes even harder “well, have you…?” 
“...no.” She blushes. 
Loki turns to her and looks her in the eye “So you haven’t…ever?” 
"No. Why?" She looks at him. 
“I just thought…well, you must have had boyfriends, right...?” Loki asked. 
Y/N chuckles "I spent my free time with you, so no. I don't." 
Loki blushes more and moves a bit closer to her “So…we’re both virgins…?’ 
“Yeah.” Y/N let out a nervous chuckle. 
Loki smiles at her and his body heats up. He leans in closer to her, almost whispering “So…want to change that...?” 
“...what?” She whispers back to him. 
His breath hitches and he speak softly “Do…you wanna….y’know do it together?” Y/N thinks for a few seconds before she nods at him. He was her first kiss and she trusted him to be her first time too. Loki smiles gently, biting his lip ever so slightly “You sure this is what you want?” 
“I am. Are you?”  
Loki nods, his heart pounding in his chest “Yes, I am.” he leans in slowly, pressing his lips against hers. She kisses him back, remembering a when they kissed for the first time years ago. 
Feeling her lips against his, Loki groans softly into the kiss. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as their tongues slowly explore each other’s mouths. Their kiss deepens as their desire grows stronger. 
Loki’s hands wander over her body, exploring the curves that have developed over the years. Y/N’s hand also explored his body and his muscular chest through the clothes he was wearing. That made Loki let out a groan when her hands travelled his body. He breaks the kiss to press his lips against her neck, trailing soft kisses down her collarbone, making Y/N moan and her hands going down to palm him through the pants. Loki gasped at the feeling. He’s never been touched like this before by someone else and it’s driving him wild.  
He slides his hand on her body to take off the shirt she was wearing, exposing her breasts to him. Loki’s mouth goes down, capturing one of her nipples in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth softly. Y/N’s hands worked quickly to take off his shirt too, while his hands worked to slide down her body the boxer she was wearing.  
Y/N’s hand found his cock when she opens his pants, making Loki gasp and his hips buck into her touch. He groans loudly as he feels her fingers wrapped around his throbbing length “Oh gods, Y/N... this feel so good...” She kept stroking him while he struggles to maintain control when her hands worked on him. 
She suddenly stops, smiling at him “Can you take these off? I want to try something.” 
Loki grins and quickly pull the remaining clothes off, his erection visible now making her eyes widen, thinking if he would really fit her. “What do you have in mind?” 
“Lay down.” She says. 
With a nod, Loki obey her. She starts stocking him slowly again, making him moan loudly and squirm beneath her as she kept her slow pace. “Oh, fuck...” 
“Can you guide me?” She asks with a smirk on her lips. 
Loki just nods his head when she decided to put him on her mouth. His hips jerk up off the bed ad he feels Y/N’s warm mouth on his cock, making him let out a long and low moan. Loki’s hand run though her hair, guiding her as she takes more of him. Loki’s eyes roll back into his head, unable to believe how good this feels.  
Y/N looks at him confused when he suddenly pulls her off “Did I do something wrong?” 
He shakes his head quickly and pulls her to kiss her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth and tasting himself “No, you were perfect. I just want to finish with you.” 
“Oh, okay.” She smiles. 
Loki lay her down underneath him, smiling at her as his hands moved to her folds. Y/N let out a moan just with the feelings of his hands coming close. She was never touched like that by anyone. Loki slide one finger inside her, slowly stroking her wetness and rubbing her clit with his thumb. That made her let out a louder moan. 
Feeling her inner walls clench around his finger, Loki chuckles softly. He kisses her neck and moves to her ear, nibbling gently “So wet for me...” 
“Loki...” She moans his name. 
Loki groans in response, pushing a second finger inside her slowly. He starts thrusting them in and out gently, stretching her as he leans down to capture one of her nipples in his mouth again. Feeling her body respond to his touch, Loki puck up the pace slightly, increasing both the depth and the speed of his thrust. 
“Loki, I think I’m close.” 
He quickens his pace even more “Come for me.” Seconds later she was hit by her climax, and his fingers keep stroking her, feeling her muscles relax and loosen after her orgasm. “I don’t want this to hurt you, Y/N/N. Are you ready?” 
Y/N just nods at him. Slowly, Loki lines himself up with her entrance, taking a deep breath before he starts pushing forward slowly, feeling the tightness of her entrance as he slips inside. Her face showed pain when he enters her and a few tears scape her eyes. Loki freezes seeing her tears and stops, kissing her tears away. He then keeps sliding inside her, slower than the first time and stops, kissing gently her forehead. 
“You can move.” She says after a few more seconds. 
Once he’s sure that she wasn’t in pain anymore, Loki begins to move, his thrusts slow and gentle as his hands find their way to hers where they lace their fingers together. Y/N let out a small moan, her pain turning into pleasure.  
Loki speed up his thrusts slightly as he hears her moans, watching her face for any sigh that he was going too fast or too hard. When she smiles softly at him, he returns her smile, a warm feeling spreading through his chest. After years of waiting, he finally lost his virginity with her, his best friend. 
“Loki, I’m...” 
“I know.” Was all he said before kissing her. Loki was close too. Her walls clenched around his cock as she moans his name again. Feeling her climax, Loki couldn’t help but release his seed deep inside her. He groans into the kiss, feeling a wave of pleasure wash over him. Panting heavily, Loki slowly pulls out of her, and he collapsed onto the bed besides her. A small smile crept onto his lips as he thought of what just happened between them “That…felt incredible…” 
Y/N nods, still trying to catch her breath “You’re sure you never done that before?” 
Loki chuckles as he wraps an arm around her and pulling her to him “I���m sure, that was honestly all new to me.” 
“Well, you were really good.” she chuckles, laying her head on his chest. 
He blushes as he rubs his hand up and down her back, a small smile on his face “Thank you…you know…I gotta say that was one of the best things I've ever done in my life…” 
“We should do it more times.” Y/N suggested. 
Loki nods “I agree, I wouldn’t mind doing this over and over again with you…” 
She smiles at him “Yeah. We’re friends, we can be a bit more intimate...” 
He smiles and rubs her back a bit “I guess that’s how we can describe it and that’s how it should stay, right? Just friends…” 
“Yeah.” She agrees. 
----- 
Y/N and Loki manage to keep that way for about 8 months. But being intimate brough them closer than they already were, making people inside the palace starts gossiping about them, how they were cute together, that they were probably together but just hiding for the public, that they’re in love. Even Thor and his friends engage with that gossip. 
Loki would notice the whispers. Some people in the castle would start joking around with him about him being ‘in love’ with her. He would jokingly brush it off with a laugh and would deny it. But he was starting to actually have feelings for her. But he could not act on them due to the fact that he remembered what she said to him about them just being friends. So, he remained silent about the situation, still only acting as just friends with her. 
Y/N knocked on Loki’s door earlier than normal. Loki was just sitting on his bed reading a book and he was quite shocked at her early arrival. He quickly put his book aside and went to the door “Hey, what’re you doing here?” 
Loki could see she was angry “Your dear brother just kicked me out of our training today.” 
He was take by surprise by her answer and he got slightly confused “W-what...? Thor kicked you out…?” 
“Yes!” she sits on his bed letting out a frustrated sigh. 
Loki was shocked and he wasn't expecting her to be this angry. He sits down next to her and thinks about this for a moment before finally asking “Why did he kick you out?” 
“Just because I was mad that they kept saying those gossips about us.” 
“Well…you shouldn’t be paying mind and listening to what people are saying, okay?” Loki says to her, trying to easy her anger. 
Y/N sighs “I know, but it’s all the damn time...” 
Loki nods, taking her hand gently “Don’t let them get to you…alright...?” 
She looks for a moment to their hands together, a small smile appearing on her face “I’ll try.” 
Loki smiled back at her and then speaks softly “Listen…about those people that gossip about us….do you think they’re right?” 
Y/N chuckles, looking at him “We both know that we’re not together.” 
He just nods, looking down before he says quietly “Right, we’re not… just friends right…?” 
Y/N noticed the way he was acting. In fact, she noticed the last time they were together too, but she said to herself she was imagining things. “You’re not happy with this, are you?” 
Loki sighs, avoiding eye contact with her “No…honestly…no I’m not happy with this…” 
She nods at him, feeling tense and fearing his next answer “Do you want to stop?” 
He looks back up at her “No…I meant…I’m unhappy with the fact that we’re just friends.” 
Y/N let out the breath she was holding, relaxing with his answer and smiling “Oh, thank the gods!” 
Loki was surprised by her reaction. He had expected her to pull away as soon as he had said his last few words “But…you…you’re not upset…?” 
“No.” She chuckles “I was thinking about that the last two times we had sex…” 
His body tenses up and he blinks in surprise, his heart pounding as he realizes what she’s said “H-hold on a sec…w-we’re you actually wanting to take this further…?" 
“Yeah, I just didn’t know how to bring this up…” 
Loki was speechless as he realized how stupid he was for not acting on those feelings earlier “But does that mean you would want to start a…. relationship with me…?" 
“If you want to.” Y/N smiles widen. 
He smiles and grabs her hand “You have no idea how happy you’ve made me right now. I’ve wanted this for so long…” She smiles at him. Loki’s heartbeat quickens as he feels her hand brush against his. He was finally with the woman he had always wanted to be with for so long. 
Years later
 Y/N and Loki were still dating. They were the favorite royal couple.  
Thor instead in them going with him to fight the frost giants. Loki had become a master of magic in thoses years and Y/N was one of the best warriors of Asgard. When Thor asked them to go with him to fight the frost giants, Loki agreed without any hesitation or question. 
As they were preparing to leave Loki walked up to Y/N. He looked at her and smirked a soft smile “Hey.’ 
“Hi.” She smiles at him. He could notice she was tense. 
"Are you ready for this?” He asked walking closer to her. 
“Yeah.” 
Loki grabs her hands and gives it a tight squeeze “Don't worry, I won't let anything hurt you.” He smiles at her and pats her forearm reassuringly. 
That made her chuckle, she probably was a better fighter than he was "I'm not worried about that." 
He looks at her curiously, raising his eyebrow “Then what are you worried about?” 
"Odin said for Thor to let it pass, and yet Thor insisted. I just have a bad feeling about this..." She says at her boyfriend. 
Loki thinks about what she's said, he also was feeling a bit uneasy as well, but he wasn't going to admit that yet “Hmm... well, I think we'll be fine. I mean we're fighting frost giants, not the entire realm.” he then smirked and spoke sarcastically “Besides, are you scared?” 
Y/N rolled her eyes at him “Me? Never!” 
Y/N and Loki joined everyone else. In the middle of the fight, she saw one of them grabbing Loki's arm. When she run to him, he looks like he just saw a ghost. She grabbed his arm expecting to see a wound, but it had...nothing. He was fine. 
Loki’s eyes were widened, and he looked at her in shock as he slowly pulls his arm away from her. He was scared and his mind was going a mile a second as he was trying to figure out what exactly had happened. 
“You’re...not hurt.” She says looking at his arm confused. 
He blinks and looks at her, his gaze was now a bit more confused, and she could see that he was still shaken up. “I…no…I’m not….” 
They didn't have much time after that to talk. Everything happened so fast, Odin came and took them all back, banished Thor to Midgard. Y/N quickly took Loki back to her room, before Odin decided to do something with him too. 
Loki was obviously shaken up by everything that had happened. He was quiet and kept to himself whilst Y/N took him to her room and his mind was just running a mile a minute. Once they were inside her room, he spoke for the first time since everything had happened "I need to go...to see something." 
Y/N nods “Okay, I’ll go with you.” 
"No... I'll go alone. It's something I have to do on my own...I’ll be right back." Loki doesn't explain any further as he walks out of her room, leaving a confused Y/N. 
It had been already an hour after that. Loki sat silently in his room, staring at a blank wall as he tried to take all of it in. This had to be a mistake...this couldn't be right...how the hell was he a frost giant? There were so many damn questions racing through his mind right now. 
There was a knock on his door. He looked up and he opened the door, he was still processing everything, and he had almost forgotten about Y/N. “Yeah?” 
"I've been looking for you like crazy." She says entering his room. 
Loki raised an eyebrow “Looking for me? I think you’re being a little dramatic” he says casually, although his voice cracked slightly from the stress of everything that was going through his mind. 
"Me? Dramatic? You're the one who left me alone and was being mysterious and all." Y/N says. 
He was angry and confused at everything that happened with him “What the hell is your goddamn problem? It isn’t like I left you for days or something, why are you so worried?” 
“Because I care about you.” 
Loki scoffs and glares down at her, he was feeling more and more pissed off “Did you not understand me the first damn time? I just needed some time to myself, is that so goddamn hard for you to understand?” 
"Your brother have just been banished and you left gods knows where. Are you really complaining about me being worried about you?" She was not believing the way he was acting. 
He rolls his eyes and sighs, closing it for a few seconds before opening them again. “Do you think that right now I want your goddamn sympathy? No! I want to be left alone! Alone with my thoughts. Don’t you get it?” 
Y/N took a step back “Is that what you really want? To be alone?” 
“Yes! That’s what I want! Can you not take the damn hint?!” Loki yells at her, taking a step forward and clenching his fists as he did. 
“Do I annoy you that much?” She asks almost in a whisper. 
Loki glares at her “Yes! You do! You annoy the hell out of me!” He yells, he had never said something like that to her before and it really caught her off guard. 
Y/N keeps looking at him "Okay...I won't 'annoy' you anymore...or ever again" She took out the bracelet Loki had gifted her when they started dating and put on his desk, before she turns and left him alone "I'm ending this." 
That hit Loki like cold water. He was shocked when Y/N placed the bracelet that he had gifted her on the desk. But when she said that she was ‘ending this’ and then started to walk out, he quickly ran after her “Wait! Wait!” he yelled, trying desperately to get her attention. But she didn’t stop, she kept walking away, with tears on her face now. 
Loki runs up to her and grabs her wrist gently and stops her from going “Wait! Please wait! Just hear me out! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I…” Y/N just shakes her head, crying. Loki feels guilty, he didn’t really mean what he said. He was just overwhelmed and stressed out from everything. he was still trying to control his emotions “I didn’t mean it…I swear…” Loki sighs heavily as he wipes away her tears “I’m just confused right now. I’m sorry about what I said. Please don’t end this over what I said, I was just emotional. I didn’t mean any of it. Please don’t end this…” 
“Why did you say it?” She asks him in a whisper, tears still running down her face. 
Loki sighs once again and doesn’t speak for a few seconds “I don’t know why I did…I was stressed out and confused. I had no idea what to do, and my emotions just exploded. So…I’m sorry…I really am…”  
Y/N tries to wipe the tears, but more came "I need you to be honest with me." 
Loki nods, still glancing away from her to the side. He then spoke quietly, as to avoid choking up or his voice faltering, he was still trying desperately not to cry “I will…” 
“Do you love me?” 
He sighs and looks back up at her “Yes…I love you so much. And I’m an idiot for just saying all those things to you without properly assessing my own emotions…” 
"What happened?" She asks softly. 
Loki pauses for a few seconds before speaking. “Well…to make a long story short, i found out about my true heritage...I’m not an Asgardian…” He could see the confusion on her face “I’m a…frost giant.”  
Y/N’s eyes widen in shock for a second before she looks down at her feet. A few seconds passed, in a silence that was making Loki more anxious than ever. “I don’t care.” She finally says. 
He was a bit surprised that Y/N didn’t take the news horribly. He was waiting for her to call him a monster, say she never want to see him again...but she was actually alright with him being a frost giant. “You’re just…fine with this? Most people would be terrified of me now.” 
"Well, I'm not most people, Loki. I'm the person who stays with the little boy who cried when his father was mean. I'm the person who was always by your side. I’m the person who loves you.” 
Loki was stunned, hearing her say that made his heart melt and some tears fall off his eyes. He never knew he was going to find someone like her. “Thank you...thank you for being here for me..." Loki couldn't help himself, he pulled her close and kissed her. Y/N smiles into the kiss, not expecting it at all. She wraps her arms around him, embracing the kiss. She felt comfortable in his arms once again and she felt happy.  
"Don't you ever say anything like that to me again. Or I swear I will break things up for good."  
Loki couldn’t help but smile when she said that. She wasn’t leaving him after all, and she still loved him. So, he nodded and spoke softly “I won’t. I promise…” Y/N had tried her best to keep Loki sane after all of these events, but he was too angry. After the events that succeed, Y/N had cried a lot when Thor told her he had die in the Bifrost.  
But then, imagine her surprise when Thor came telling her that Loki was on Midgard, trying to dominate the planet with an army. Y/N was in shock when she heard that. She wasn’t quite sure how to feel. On one hand, she was happy to hear that he was still alive but on the other, she wasn’t excited about him being on Midgard. The thought of him trying to take over the planet worried her. 
Thor took her there with him, thinking that maybe she could get him to stop if the moment came. She hadn't seen him until the final fight in the Stark tower, when she walked to him with her armor and her sword in hand, like Thor had requested her. Loki had his back to her "Loki?" 
Loki heard his name being called but he continued to gaze out at the destruction behind him that he had left in his path. He didn’t turn to face her, and his voice had a hint of a cold indifference in it “…what do you want?” 
She looks at the image in front of him "That's not you." 
He continued to stare out into the destruction and chaos he had left. He knew she was right. He wasn’t himself, he was a completely different version now. One that was angry, manipulative, cunning and cold “I’m fine. I don’t see what the big deal is…” 
Y/N walked closer to him, putting her sword on the ground and using that hand to hold his shoulder “Loki...” His cold gaze finally turned to face her, though his expression remained the same, unchanging and uncaring. When she put her hand on his shoulder, he immediately flinched a little bit because of the sudden touch. “That’s not you.” She said again. 
Loki didn’t say anything for a few seconds. He was silent, his face gave away little to no emotion “I’m no longer the person I was before…I’ve changed…and I’ve learned much…and I’ve become so much more…” 
She reached for his face slowly, and Loki was caught a bit off guard when she put her hand on his face, but he didn’t flinch or move his face away from her. He noticed that she was still wearing the bracelet he gifted her as well.  
"Give up this madness dream. Come home with me." She says softly, her hand caressing his face. 
Loki was silent for a few seconds as he stared at her. Then he finally spoke, his voice now had a slight hint of anger in it “I *will* have my revenge. Nothing...no one will stop me…” 
"Please, Loki. I know the man I love is still in there." She says with tears on her eyes. She didn’t know if she would be able to fight him if it was necessary. 
His anger immediately disappeared when she started to cry. Seeing her tears only reminded him of all of the times she had stood by him, through thick and thin. She was always there for him, he couldn’t just abandon her again. So, he pulled her close and hugged her tightly, still not saying anything and just simply holding her close. 
Y/N return his hug "I know something must happen to you...but please, stop it." 
Loki continues to hug her and just holds her close for a few seconds. He didn’t want her to know his traumatic past, at least not yet. So instead, he spoke softly “You’re right…something did happen…I can’t tell you…” 
"It's okay. Just stop this attack and come home...I'll protect you."  
Loki was now on the verge of crying when she said that. But she had told him she would protect him, and he was so desperate for that right now. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. So, he spoke softly “Please…I need you.” 
He stopped the attack and end up fighting alongside the Avengers. Thor, Loki and Y/N went back home. Y/N and Thor talked with Odin and convinced him that Loki help them in the end, so he wouldn’t send him to a cell. 
Loki was now back at Asgard, where everything slowly became normal once again. However, he was still slightly traumatized by what had happened and was still suffering from the PTSD that he had acquired after the torture. The two of them were still together and he felt relieved that he didn’t lose her. Loki struggled a lot with his nightmares, which were getting worse every night. Whenever they hit, he would wake up in a cold sweat, his heart beating out his chest and he would usually be crying. Y/N would be next to him every time, holding him gently and speaking softly, trying to comfort him when he woke up. He felt very weak and helpless during these moments, and he was glad he had her with him. 
That night Loki also woke up with his nightmares, running to the bathroom to throw up. Loki was already on his knees, hugging the toilet and throwing up, his tears streaming down his face. Any second now he would begin hyperventilating, as was typical for how these nightmares would usually go for him. Y/N woke up and walked to the bathroom, holding his hair back. He immediately calmed down a bit and took a deep breath. Hearing her voice and feeling her touch made things more bearable. 
Loki was still shaking a bit when he finally finished throwing up, so Y/N hugged him tightly as they sit on the bathroom’s floor. His body was shaking almost uncontrollably, and he was trying not to hyperventilate. His breath was shaky, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly as he tried to control himself. But when she hugged him, he stopped for a few seconds and then he hugged her back, burying his head into her shoulder and holding her tight. 
"You know you'll have to talk about this some time, Loki..." She says softly. 
Loki sniffled and held her a bit tighter for a few seconds before he finally spoke softly. His voice sounded choked up and shaky and he was still trying to stop himself from crying. “I know...I just...not yet.” 
“I hate to see you like that.” Y/N says while she brushes his hair away from his face. 
He nodded his head, still holding her tightly “I know…I know that I need to talk about it…it’s just…I don’t know if I can….I just…” it was clear that he didn’t know how to speak about it. He simply couldn’t bear to relive what had happened to him. 
"Do you want me to...see it?"  
Loki flinches, the prospect of her seeing his memories was terrifying for him. He didn’t want anyone to see what he had gone through, least of all someone who he loved so deeply. So, he shook his head. 
"Loki, you need to let it out. He can't hurt you anymore." 
He takes a few seconds before speaking again. He was still on the verge of tears, and he was shaking quite a bit. He understood the importance of talking about it, but he could barely even bring himself to speak about it “I know…I know that it will help…but I’m just…I’m just scared…so scared…” 
"I'm here with you." She says "I'll always be here with you." 
Loki sniffled and he hugged her back tightly. Hearing her say that she would always be there for him gave him a bit of strength, and he tightened his grip on her as if to show his appreciation and gratitude. He slowly let out a breath and his tears began to subside. “I know…I know you will be…” 
She starts brushing his hair, close to his forehead "Can I?" 
Loki was a bit hesitant at first, he wasn’t sure about her entering his mind and reliving the trauma with him. He hated the idea of possibly putting her through that…but he felt so weak and so helpless, and she offered. So, he eventually nodded.  
So she did it. She could see the memories when he let her enter. She was gently around his mind when she starts seeing the fight with Thor at the Bifrost, when he let it go. She saw all the torture he endured from the mad titan and everything that happened with him. She could feel his pain and she could understand why he was so reluctant to talk about it. It was a horrible realization but now she knew the extent of the abuse he endured while under the mercy of Thanos. 
When she came back, she was crying. Loki noticed that she was crying, and he looked up at her with a concerned expression. “A-are you okay...?” 
Y/N shook her head. "No, Loki. I'm sorry you have been through all of that." She hugs him so tightly. 
Loki was still silent for a few seconds as he simply hugged her tightly and buried his head in her shoulder again. He didn’t know quite what to say, he just wanted to forget about what had happened. Especially now when having to think back on it all. When she hugged him back, he started to squeeze her even tighter, as if seeking comfort and trying to remind himself that the pain was now gone. He didn’t want to relive it ever again. 
"You'll never go through that ever again. I'll protect you, I swear." 
Loki wanted to believe her so much. Having her to protect him was a great comfort for him and a great relief. He was so vulnerable right now, scared to ever face anything like that again. Hearing that he would never go through that again was extremely reassuring to him. He kept hugging her and didn’t want to let go. “You promise?” 
“I promise.”  
Loki was getting better after a couple of months. He still had some nightmares, but not as often as before. Thanks to Y/N being by his side, he had started to sleep a little more soundly than before. His nightmares had gone from multiple times a week to only once a week, which was an achievement in his eyes. He didn’t feel as scared to sleep anymore and he was thankful for that. Especially because he knew his girlfriend was right by his side, ready to help him out whenever he needed it. 
After six months, Loki was finally getting better. His nightmares were now happening rarely instead of occasionally. He still had them from time to time, but they were now much more manageable. He still had a lot of healing to do, but this was definitely progress. 
With each day that passed and each night that went by, Loki just continued to think about how much he loved his girlfriend. She was always by his side, and she always managed to comfort him whenever he needed it. She supported him through everything, and she understood him like no one else did. It was only natural that he started to think about marriage. He didn’t necessarily know if she thought the same, but the thought hadn’t left him for a while now. 
"What you're thinking about?" Y/N asks as she notices he was not paying attention to the book on his hands. 
Loki was still lost in thought, thinking about the prospect of marriage. He hadn’t realized that he had stopped paying attention to the book he had in his hands, as he had simply been staring blankly at it. But then she asked him a question and snapped him out of his thoughts. “Nothing…just…nothing…” 
Y/N chuckles “It doesn’t look like nothing.” 
He also chuckled a bit and then said “Okay, maybe it was something….” 
"Are you gonna tell me?" She sits closer to him. 
Loki was silent for a few seconds and then he finally spoke softly “I was just…thinking about something…about us…?” 
"Should I worry about this?" Y/N says with a playful smile. 
“Not necessarily…I was just thinking about…what if we took our relationship to the next level…you know…” 
“Like how?”  
“…like…getting married?” Loki spoke carefully and anxiously as he said this, he was wondering what her reaction would be. 
Y/N smiles softly at him* "Are you serious?" 
Loki nodded and spoke softly “Yes….I’ve been thinking about it for a while now….and I wanted to know what you think….” 
“I wouldn’t be opposite of the idea.” Loki’s heart started to beat rapidly as she said that. “Can you imagine us, married and with a mini you running around?" Loki blushed and smiled, imagining the scenario was a bit adorable.  
He could just imagine the two of them with their child, living happily ever after. Loki liked that idea…very much. It felt so innocent and so pure, something that he had wanted for so long. And there was no way he would ever let go of it, not ever. “That would be so perfect…our own little family…” 
Y/N smiled at the thought “Yeah...” 
Loki smiled back at her, and he wanted to say something else. But he still felt a bit anxious, he still felt like it wasn’t set in stone just yet “So…you’re really saying yes…? Like…definitely, yes…?” 
"I don't know...make the proposal." She chuckles. Loki smirked at her response and then thought to himself. He was definitely going to propose to her soon, that was for sure.  So he started to hatch out a plan for the perfect proposal he would want. Once he had that all figured out, the only thing that would be left was to execute it. 
Days had passed and Loki had been waiting for the right moment. And after a week of waiting, he got that perfect moment. He found her alone in her room and he knew that now was his chance to do it. 
“Hey.” Y/N smiled as he entered her room. 
“Hey…” Loki smiles back at her. He feels the rush of adrenaline as he finally has his chance. This is the moment he’s been waiting for. So, he speaks confidently as he approaches her “I want to ask you something….” 
“Sure.” 
Loki takes a deep breath and steadies his voice, trying to sound as confident and sure as he could when speaking. “You know how a few weeks ago I brought up marriage…?” She nods at him. Loki nods too and gets on one knee, making Y/N smiles. There was a hint of nervousness in his voice, but he managed to keep it steady, and he spoke confidently. “I want to make you mine…completely…and I would like for you to do the same…will you marry me..?” 
“Yes, Loki. Yes!” She hugs him. 
He breathed a sigh of relief as she said yes. He was so excited and happy right now, he was over the moon. He smiled back at her and then he spoke softly. “Then…will you please take this, as a sign of my love?” Loki holds up the ring, waiting for her to accept it. 
Y/N gave him her hand so he could put the ring on her. “It’s beautiful.” 
Loki was absolutely overjoyed. It was one of the most perfect moments of his entire life. All his work in planning the proposal payed off. And seeing her accept the ring, his mother's ring, was the cherry on top. Loki was just so relieved and so happy, he was beaming with joy. "It used to be my mother's...I wanted you to have it..." 
“Thank you.” She smiles before she kisses him. 
He smiled back at her when he breaks the kiss, the entire moment was like a dream come true. He was so overjoyed that he almost couldn't keep his cool. This was the perfect moment. So he took her hand again and squeezed it softly. "I love you..." 
“I love you too.” 
A few months after, the royal wedding happened in Asgard. It was a beautiful wedding. A true fairy tale wedding. Loki and Y/N had finally married. The prince of Asgard had found true love and married his princess. Loki was happier than ever, with the woman he loved the most besides him. This was his happy ending, this was his happily ever after. 
Five months after the wedding, Y/N started not feeling well. She usually woke up throwing up. 
Loki was still asleep beside her when he suddenly woke up to the sound of her vomiting. He immediately jumped out of bed and went over to her. “A-Y/N…? 
“Hm?” She had her eyes closed as another wave of nausea hit her. 
Loki was now in distress and panic. He was getting worried as he tried to keep his cool and not let her know his real feelings yet. “A-are you okay..? You’ve been vomiting for a few days now….” He was so concerned about her at this point. 
"I don't know, maybe it's something I eat?" She felt the nausea passing and open her eyes to look at him. 
Loki still looked worried and concerned, he wasn’t quite buying her excuse. It didn’t make sense to him “But it’s been four days in a row…don’t you think that’s concerning a little?”  
"I'll see a healer later if that's makes you feel better." She smiles at him. 
He wasn’t reassured, he was still concerned about her. But he decided to not press the issue further for now “Okay…just promise me you’ll see one as soon as possible…” 
Y/N nods and later that day, she went to the healer. When she got back to their room, she had a small box in her hand. 
“What’s in that box…?” Loki was waiting for her back in the room. 
"Oh, it's a present for you." She smiles handling him the box. "Open in.” 
Loki’s nervous look remained on his face as he slowly took the box from her, not knowing what may be in there. But he then opened it and his eyes widened when he saw what was inside. His heart raced as he saw that it was a small pair of shoes. “What….are these…?” 
"I don't know, Loki. What are these?" She asks him smiling. 
“They look like…baby shoes…” Loki’s heart races as he realizes what she is implying. He didn’t even want to believe it. But then he spoke, and his tone was shaky. “Are you…”  
Loki was speechless. It was official now; he was going to be a father. He was so happy, he felt so many different emotions rushing through him right now, but the main one was pure joy. “I’m going to be a dad…?” 
"You're going to be a dad." Y/N spoke softly before she kissed her husband. 
Nine months later, Y/N gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Loki was overjoyed about it. Holding the baby boy in his arms felt like a dream come true. His life would never be the same after this, everything would be different. And it was for the better. This child would be the most important thing to him, there would be nothing that would compare to this precious baby. He kissed him on the forehead, smiling as he did so.  
Loki was the best father ever to his son. He was everything Odin never was to him. Loki made sure the child had everything he could ever want or need. He made sure his childhood would be beautiful and happy and he made sure he gave him everything he never had. He made sure to give him all the love he had to offer to his precious son. He spent a great majority of his time with him. And Y/N made sure she took good care of him as well. She made sure to teach him about love and everything he needed to know about the world. It was a beautiful sight. 
A year later, close to their son first birthday, Y/N had found out she was pregnant again. But this time, she was better prepared to make a surprise to Loki. 
He had just put the baby to sleep and came back to their room. “I have a surprise for you.” Y/N said softly. She gave him a present box. "Open in.” 
Loki open the box and just looked at the shirt in a bit of confusion. It said 'Daddy’s girl’ when they had a son. “Uh…? Did you buy this by mistake…?” Y/N shakes her head ‘no’. Loki was still quite confused. Why did she buy a ‘daddy’s girl’ shirt? They had a son, not a daughter. So, it made no sense for her to buy that. “Then why did you get it…?” 
"Because our daughter will need it." Y/N was holding back her smile seeing Loki’s confusion. 
He immediately tensed up at the word ‘daughter’ and realized what she was implying. Their daughter. She was implying that they were going to have a second child. He just couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that it was really happening. Loki was overwhelmed with emotions, and it showed on his face. His mouth dropped open as he spoke softly. “Our daughter..?” 
Y/N nods, making Loki’s heart raced and his breathing quickened as he realized the good news. His smile became so wide that he even felt his cheeks ache. He was going to be a father again? That was an overwhelming thought and he loved it. The happiness he felt was overwhelming. “We’re going to have a daughter…?” He finally asked. She nods again, a few tears escaping her eyes. 
Loki was filled with so many emotions right now that he just embraced her in a tight and loving hug. He held her close to him, smiling as he did so. Loki’s happiness was palpable at this point. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be a father again. He just couldn’t. And it was so unbelievable that he almost couldn’t accept it just yet. But as he held his wife close to him, he embraced the idea of having another child. 
They had some hard months ahead. Thor had given up the throne, so Loki was next in line to be king now. And a few more months, another baby, a beautiful and healthy baby girl, was born. Loki felt like he was on a cloud, he just couldn’t believe how his life was working out so well for him. With a gorgeous wife and two beautiful children, life couldn’t get any better. 
He was truly overjoyed and grateful. His life was filled with nothing but love and blessings. There was nothing left that he could possibly ask for now. With two beautiful children, the best wife in the world, a kingdom to rule one day. Things couldn’t be better. And as he looked down at his babygirl, he thought about all of this. He loved his life, he loved being a father and he loved his family. And this was more than just a passing thought, this was his life. His happy, fulfilling, life. 
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wolfziedraws · 4 months
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Marco and Jake sketches
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Can I request an Aaron Hotchner x autistic!daughter young adult ideally but any age. Or even she’s on the team and he’s a father figure to her because her own is so ableist. My dad is so ableist and I have so much autistic trauma from him even though my autism is from him too. He thinks that gives him even more rights to say whatever he wants to me and bully me even more. I just need to know what it feels like to have a good dad who cares about my autism. Who cares about me ❤️❤️
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Aaron Hotchner x Autistic! Young adult reader
Of course I can, I'm sorry you have to deal with that, my parents have trouble understanding my Autism as well but they are getting better. I will write this for you!
Summary: Y/Ns ableist Dad comes to the BAU and starts being an Ableist arsehole to his daughter, her father figure (Hotch) steps in and saves her.
Third Person pov...
It had been 3 years since Y/N L/N joined the BAU, she was 21 when she joined and instantly became the baby of the team and Hotch became her Dad, Y/N is autistic and has sensory issues.
Ever since she was little her father was ablest and would bully her and verbally abuse her saying how her being Autistic meant something was wrong with her and that she needed fixing, the man caused her to have so many meltdowns and sensory overloads that it made others concerned her teachers as school.
He was later arrested for child abuse and was sent to prison, Y/N was then left with her neighbours who were a nice loving family and always liked her but hated her dad and were glad she got away from him after suffering for years, her Mum was out of the picture.
The young girl had so much trauma from her childhood when she joined the BAU that Hotch became her father figure, their relationship helped mend Y/Ns trauma from her bio dad and she was able to live comfortably knowing he wasnt in her life anymore, she was treated with respect and was always told that her autism wasn't a bad thing.
From being with Penelope and Spencer (who are also Autistic) her relationship with her Autism was mended and she was able to be herself, while with her dad she could stim or doing anything 'autistic' but with her new found family she was free to stim and had all her accomedations, if anyone disrespected her or called her weird they would have to deal with an angry Hotch and the rest of the team.
It was a normal day for the team, they weren’t on a case and for once they all got to relax and fill out paperwork, well aside from Hotch and Spencer no one was doing any paperwork, Derek and Emily were sat giggling loudly like children as they kept throwing rolled up pieces of paper at their second youngest member.
The laughter increased as they kept hitting their mark, Spencers head, the genius was none the wiser as a pile of paper was forming around him at their many failed attempts. From the side JJ and Penelope sit and watch as Spencer doesn't realise, opposite the genius sat Y/N she was busy spinning in her chair with her headphones on and watching the scene play out.
She had the perfect poker face for when a paper ball hit Spencer's head, as the children in the bull pen play the two adults Hotch and Rossi where actually getting work done, , well Hotch was at least the Italian was drinking and watching the kids outside keeping an eye on them as someone responsible needed too.
As Y/N continued to spin around her in chair she didn’t hear the heavy footsteps off someone walking up behind her, the H/C woman was suddenly yanked off her chair and onto the hard floor by a man, in the process of being manhandled her headphones when flying off her head.
“What did I tall ya about doing that Girl!” exclaimed a voice that haunted her nightmares, gasping in terror Y/N stared frozen at her Father who was suppose to be in prison, the large man had a sickening grin on his face as he saw the terror in his daughter eyes.
“Yes its me!” he laughed that horrible laugh that had Y/N holding her hands overs her ears, the 21 year old was still frozen on the floor while the others were staring at the scene before them guns raised, by this time Hotch and Rossi had heard what happened and were out of their offices.
“bu-but your supposed to be in jail!” exclaimed Y/N finally finding her voice stuttering, the man looked down at her crumpled form, he then grabbed the front of her blouse pulling his daughter close. “they let me out for good behaviour, did ya miss me!” he semi whispered as Y/Ns face grew a sickening pale white, she scrambled to get away but the man wouldn’t let go instead he raised his hand and slapped her.
Y/N cried out in pain. “you really didn’t think I could be held for long did ya you retard! You really are still a fucked in the head as you were years ago” yelled the man, Hotch had had enough, he rain down thw ramp arms raised, gun in his hands. “Get your hands on hr now, you do realise you just assaulted a federal agent” growled out Hotch as the man teared his eyes away from the shivering form of his daughter.
He spat at Hotch. “your not her father I am, this waste of space in am Agent HA!”!” he laughed again and kicked Y/N hard in the ribs, Penelope gasps tears in her eyes as she witnesses her friend get beaten. Y/N holds in her cries of pain and raises her head from the floor glaring at the man.
“your not my dad you never have been!” she cried tears rolling down her face, the sadistic man smirked at the tears rolling down his daughters face, the sight reminding off when she was a kid and he would verbally abuse her, he had never hit her before now, it felt good.
Her words made him angry. “I am your father retard, though I hate to admit it you share my blood, your as stupid as I remember crying on the floor like the child you are to stupid to do what I say” he goes on on berating Y/N and saying how stupid she was once again verbally abusing her, as he went on his rant Y/N managed to stand up.
She was then pulled behind Hotch, his finger close to pulling the trigger. “you Bastard, you shut the fuck up now, you have crossed the line now get out of my building and away from my Daughter before I pump your body full of bullets!” yelled Hotch threw clenched teeth, he was so close to pulling the trigger instead he stormed up so he was chest to chest with the man and pulled back his fist.
When he lets go his right hand connected with the nose he was satisfied to feel it shatter, a smirk on his face before gesturing to a couple of agents. “now don’t ever come back or I will kill you” Hotches hand was burning but he felt satisfied when Y/Ns Dad freeze before he tsked and stormed out not before calling Y/N the R slur before he was detained by two agents ans forced into handcuffs.
Hotch crossed his arms before turning around to hug Y/N was had collapsed, the stress from her dad coming in draining her, she was then sat at her desk with Hotch hovering around her looking at her injuries, E/C eyes locked on his brown ones.
“Im your daughter” she whispers hoarsely, this made Hotch smile and run his hand through her hair. “of course, you are sweetie” he smiled softly kissing her forehead still smiling when she smiles back.
The end!!
Hoped you liked this oneshot so sorry for the wait! As usual sorry for the grammar and spelling mistake!
Requests are open!
Word count: 1366
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redrobin-detective · 1 year
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So watching the newest Spy x Family, I see everyone squealing over Uncle Franky (don’t get me wrong I am too) but I also think his outsider’s perspective is kind of sad. When Anya is waiting for Yor and Loid to get home, the line he says there struck me.
“Hey, do you like your mom and dad?”
Like that’s a weird question to ask a young child who, hopefully, should love their parents. But Franky I think is acutely aware that they aren’t Anya’s real parents and the Forger family is fake. Franky has worked with Twilight for years, knows him very well and has presumably seen him make and drop identities like one would an article of clothes. We’ve even had Franky directly accusing Loid of being too clinical, focusing only the mission. I think Franky believes that once Operation Strix is completed, that he’ll leave and Anya and move on to the next assignment.
 I think that idea has colored a lot of Franky’s interactions with Anya. Yes, he’s also a big kid and wants to run around and be silly. But I also believe he’s trying to give this girl a sense of happiness and family presumably before she’s dropped off at the nearest orphanage once her usefulness is outlived. Like we all know Loid is catching feels but he’s a Good Actor and it might not be readily apparent to his coworker. Idk it must be so sad for Franky to watch this little family interact, to sweep up a child so clearly desperate for love and family in a spy operation, only to realize it won’t last.
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cocrante · 16 days
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Haitham watches Kaveh's boyfriend with both jealousy and admiration, wishing he could be in his place, but in the sense that he wants to be exactly like him. Kaveh's boyfriend is older, with adult-like gestures, confident in what he does. He doesn't hesitate to hold Kaveh's hand, doesn't blush when he looks at him, and kisses are given without shame. Haitham knows he could never do that, he's still a boy who loves with the simplicity of a boy. He could never make him feel the same things, but he wishes he could. He wishes that embarrassed smile was for him, those shy eyes that lower when he whispers secrets in his ear. The laughter that bubbles up, he wishes it were only audible to his ears. He doesn't hate that guy, but he envies him like he's never envied anyone before.
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whocarestbhly · 8 months
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ain’t sweet enough.
prologue: chocolates and strawberries.
part one
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(a/n: this story contains mature themes such as domestic abuse, sexual themes, death of characters, and mild language)
other tags: fluff, Ichihime, angst, slow start, romance.
(a/n: also, this is my first story so go easy on me like Adele said, i’ll get better overtime. feel free to give me some advice and critique, i’ll listen and respond to you. not to those being a little disrespectful though. also, i feel as if Ichigo and Orihime don’t get no love, so that’s why i wanted to do this story. anyway, we’ll see how it goes. smooches!)
A Convenience Store in Tokyo, Japan. 2:56am.
‘And there I was. In the middle of the soda and beverage aisle. My mouth wide open and my eyes glued to probably the most beautiful person on the planet.’
The previously scowling man stood there openly staring at the red headed beauty, who was having a tough time deciding on which milk to buy. He told himself that he was only at the store to pick up a few staple items: bread, milk, eggs, cigarettes, and beer. Placing the last item on his list in the basket, he started to make his way to the cashier. That's when he stopped dead in his tracks.
Ichigo Kurosaki, a twenty year old man was a man who had problems of showing his emotions. He usually bore a mean scowl on his face, scaring many people off, and he was known as a rough troublemaker. Of course, he had crushes in the past and thought of some women as attractive, but he never acted on his thoughts. And honestly, they never kept his attention long. He’ll usually get caught up in his job, hanging out with his friends, or unintentionally beat some jerk’s ass. His friends tried to tell him that he should get a hold on his temper and stop scowling, or else he'll scare all the girls away.
God, he should've listened to their advice. While he was gawking at the oblivious beauty, his heart hammered against his chest, which is a feeling he rarely got. He could feel the blood rushing into his face, and his palms were getting all sweaty.
If any gangster saw the former infamous high school bad boy, Ichigo Kurosaki, getting flustered by some pretty lady, they would be finding themselves picking up their jaws.
Finally, the woman decided on 2% milk, and was heading towards the cashier, which was at the front. Thankfully, it was away from him. But then again, she's inching close to walking out the store, and there’s a chance he’ll never see her again. He became more anxious at that thought and he didn’t know what to do. It’s not like he didn’t want to speak to her, he just didn’t know how. He’s not what you would call a people person and he was completely fine with that until just now. For the first time, he wanted to talk to someone, a woman at that. He just doesn’t know how to go about it.
She happily laid her food items on the counter: butter, eggs, cheese, red bean paste, milk...
Okay, okay. Ichigo, we don’t even know this woman. It’ll be creepy to just ask for her number. Plus, she could be nuts for all you know.
He squared his shoulders, straightened his back, and held his usual determined scowl. Clenching his handheld store basket, he made his way to the counter. And he was there, one foot away from the being that was making his heart race.
"Okay that'll be-" The cashier was about to announce the total price, until the lady interrupted him.
"Oh, I knew I forgot something! I'll be right back Mister Urahara!" She hurried to the back of the store, and in a minute or less, she came back with a pack of strawberries. Her eyes laid on Ichigo's, which made his heart rate to a little more faster.
He nervously swallowed, and tried his absolute best not to coward. But unexpectedly, the red beauty gave him bright smile. "You don't mind if I cut in front, do you?" She innocently said, which would make him say yes to anything she'd request.
"Nah. I don't mind at all." Ichigo moved out the way. She smiled even wider, "Thank you, kind gentleman." She slid back, and placed the strawberries on the counter, and the old man rung it up. "Okay, that'll be $15.48." She gave him her debit card and waited for her receipt. When he gave it to her, she grabbed her bags and turned around. "See ya later Mister Urahara!"
"You be careful out there!" The old man smiled and waved. Again, her sweet gray eyes landed on Kurosaki's deep brown ones. "And thank you, kind gentleman." He gently waved back, "Don't sweat it."
She carried her two bags of groceries to her car, which was a red beetle. Put the bags in the trunk and hopped in the front and drove off. Welp, probably the last time you’ll see her again. He silently sighed but shook it off as he laid his items on the counter for the man to ring up. “How are you, Ichigo?” Mister Urahara, the owner of the store. He ran the store for the past eight years and has been a local for twelve years, so he’s pretty familiar with everyone around the area.
"Ya staying out of trouble?" He started to ring me up. I rested my elbow on the counter and cradled my head. "I can't afford to get in trouble." Then Ichigo released a long sigh, "I lost my job today."
The cashier grunted, "What's this? The seventh job you've quit for this year?" Mister Urahara chuckled finishing up his order. Ichigo rolled his eyes, "Nope it's only the second. Geez, I knew you was losing your memory but I didn't know it was this bad." Urahara chuckled rubbing his head as Ichigo continued, “But I had a good reason this time. He was working me overtime not even giving me the pay I deserve. I even tried to explain why I couldn't work late hours but he ignored me."
"That'll be $18.50” Mister Urahara said.
Ichigo sighed, "Kinda like you're doing to me right now."
"I heard every word you said, boy." Ichigo gave him his card. He swiped it. "Well, I guess it wasn't meant to be for that job." He gave me the bags. Ichigo was about to grab them and head towards the door but the man put his hand on his shoulder to stop him from doing so.
"If you need a job, you could work here. I know I always say that, but it’s the truth.” Urahara offered to him. He’s been offering Ichigo the same opportunity for the past months, but Ichigo gives him the same reply. "Please, old man. Why would I wanna work here? They're ain't that much pay in this job."
“True, true," The manager nodded in agreement and retreated his hand from his shoulder. "But the hours here are very flexible, meaning you could come in at anytime and leave at anytime." Ichigo grabbed his bags and headed towards the door, “Appreciate the offer once again, but no thanks.”
“Also, you get the chance to talk to my regular customer Orihime-san.” He mischievously smirked at the younger man and continued. “Yeah, yeah. I saw how you were drooling over the woman.”
Ichigo popped a vein, “Oi, just because you’re a perv, doesn’t mean I’m one. I’m not just gonna accept a job because of a girl.”
Urahara raised a brow, “Oh? So you don’t deny your attraction to the woman?” Ichigo narrowed his eyes and sucked his teeth, “Shut up.” As he slammed the door.
On his way back to his apartment, it started to rain.
"Damn it, why does it have to rain now?" Ichigo cursed to himself while driving on the presoaked roads. It was past midnight and in the middle of December. He didn't really care for driving, especially at night. He brought a cigarette to his mouth reached for his lighter in his back pocket. A thunder boomed in the background, and a thought crossed his mind. Why was she out so late anyway? A girl like her should be at the house getting her beauty sleep. There's perverts and dangerous men-
He almost choked on his cig.
But it was like fate were pulling them together, as he saw the red head on the side of the road, parked near a lake. It looked as if her red Volkswagen Beetle had broken down, due to all the smoke that was coming from her hood.
In a flash, he pulled over.
She was soaking wet, gripping her phone for dear life. "Please pick up Tatsuki-Chan...." She silently pleaded while on the verge of tears. She didn't like being alone in the middle of the night. The thought alone scared her. But she didn't have any food at home and she had to make the choice to stop to the store after work.
"Tatsuki here! Sorry I'm not at home at the mom-" Inoue Orhime let her anger get the best of her as she pulled her phone away from her ear and threw it on the soft ground. She huffed in annoyance, her beautiful face twisted in a distressed snare. "I want to cry." And she did cry. Her eyes puffed up as she looked under the hood. Her motor was giving off pure black smoke. She should've sold this car years ago but her heart couldn't allow her to do that. She held precious memories with Gumball (the name she gave the beetle).
Now, she was left stranded on the side of a highway while it was pouring cats and dogs. She didn’t even have the energy to grab her umbrella, she was already soaking wet. But then she heard a howling nearby. I should get in the car. Coyotes could be out tonight. But she heard a car door slam. Terrified, she whipped her head in the direction of the sound and looked into his eyes.
Chocolate. She remembers those chocolate brown eyes.
"H-hey." Her voice squeaked as she stared at the dude she just seen at the convenience store. He stared back at her as he casually strolled to the car. He looked under her hood, "Damn, the engine's blowed." He stated bluntly then looked at her face which had fresh tears. His eyes roamed her soaking wet body. He quickly turned his head away from her gorgeous curves as he inspected the car further.
"Looks l-like it." She tried to clear her voice to sound more confident but failed miserably. Ichigo looked at the busted motor with some thought. Moments later, he spoke. "I know a car shop around the corner. They can have your car ready for you in a day." He informed her, as she looked up at him surprised.
He gazed into her honey doe eyes, then there was that familiar pound to his heart. "I-uh got there number. I'll call them for you so they can fill in an appointment to fix your car.” He scratched the back of his head uneasily whilst melting under her gaze.
"You'll do that for me?" She asked the man who was more than a foot taller than her petite frame. He could've been intimidating to her if he didn't offer to do such kind things for her. He gulped but slightly smiled, “With no problem.” She gave him another one of her blinding smiles, making him blush a little. Then ran up to the man and side-hugged him. "Thank you, kind gentleman!” He tensed at the sudden hug and cool sensation. “Hey, you’re wet!” She quickly pulled back and chuckled, “Oops, sorry.”
He offered to drive her home and she nodded, thanking him again. He just waved it off and helped her groceries in the back of his Jeep. He also reminded her that he phone was on the ground. Embarrassed, she thanked him as she picked it up. It wasn't a quite drive after she decided that he wasn't a bad guy. In fact, he was rather nice. Ichigo would think on the contrary.
When they first got in the car, she hit him with a bus load of questions. "So kind gentleman, what's your name?" She delightfully smiled. He put the key in ignition.
"Kurosaki. Kurosaki Ichigo." The Jeep started and he offered her a hint of a smile. Her held out her hand, "Great name, kind-oop. Kurosaki-kun!" She giggles at her clumsiness, and he simply smirked while shaking her hand. He drove onto the road.
"What's your name?" Though, he kinda already knew because of the old man. "My name is Inoue Orihime!" She chirped, gladly introducing herself, placing her hand on her hips. "A superwoman in disguise!" She tried to laugh boisterously. He raised any eyebrow at her antics. Okay, she’s kinda nuts. But what’s bad about that?
"So what do you do for a living?" She freely asked, he smirked while reaching in his box for a new cig. "I sell drugs." He said bluntly putting the cig in the corner of his mouth. He lit the cig amused as he looked her face of shock. "K-Kurosaki-kun...."
"Just kidding. I'm actually out of work." He chuckled and she caught on and laughed with him. "Jeez, don't scare me like that, Kurosaki-kun." He chuckled a bit, “Same question for you. What do you do for living?” Orihime hummed, “I’m a part-time baker downtown. But my dream job is to become a nurse. I’m currently going to school for that.”
Ichigo let out a puff of smoke, “Really? Sounds like you got it all planned.” She smiled at him, “I’m trying. It’s not easy as you can see with what happened with my car.” He nodded his head, “Well, you can’t predict everything.” And she agreed and the car was silent for a moment until she spoke again.
“So, would do you wish to be?” She asked him a question on which he doesn’t dwell on anymore. But he hummed and pondered, “I don’t know yet. Right now, I just want a job that’ll pay the bills.” Orihime nodded her head this time and thought for a moment, “You know, you’ll make a great car inspector. Or someone who works in mechanics.” He laughed at that.
“You’re just saying that because I just helped you out.” She laughed with him. “Perhaps.”
After a smooth, short ride. Which was too short for Ichigo personally. The two redheads made it to her home safely. "Welp, we're here." She announced as he drove into the apartment complex's parking lot. He park in a random spot, "Yep." Ichigo said, somewhat deflated.
Honestly, he enjoyed the conversation they had up until now. Sure, the more she spoke, the weirder she was but it in a wholesome manner. Anyway, he became comfortable with her and kinda wanted to see more of her. But he didn't know how to bring that part up since they were now at her crib, dropping her off. He didn't just want to spring the question: 'Ay, so I think you and me hit it off pretty well. So what about it? Six o'clock at Seymour's Restaurant?'
A pregnant pause loomed inside the car. She cleared her throat, adding to the awkwardness. "Would you-"
"So um-"
They both spoke at the same time. Another pause entered until Orihime broke it with a soft giggle. "You go first." She said, he smiled lightly. "Okay, I wanted to know if we could...um, you know. Keep in touch?" He asked, unsure if it sounded too creepy. She blinked at him.
He shuffled in his seat at her reaction and continued to talk. "I-I know we just met like 15 minutes ago, but keep in touch so I’d know if everything went right with your car and you seem like decent company and I thought- n-never mind. If you don't want to, it's fine-"
Orihime laughed, loudly this time. "Kurosaki-kun, it's fine." She pulled out a notepad and written something on it. After a few seconds, she handed the paper to him. "Here's my phone number. My phone is wet right now since I dropped it. But make sure you text me so that I can have your number.” Orihime handed Ichigo the slip of paper. He smirked, “I will. Take care and make sure not to throw your phone in anymore water due to anger.” She giggled and pumped her fist into the air, "I'll do my best!" Ichigo slightly shook his head. Then her smaller hand was placed on his larger hands, "I did enjoy meeting you, Kurosaki-kun. I think you're nice company too." She smiled sweetly making the guy next to her blush. He fiddled with his collar, trying to loosen the fabric.
"Yeah. I do my best.” Was all he said, as she grabbed her belongings and said her final goodbyes as she walked towards her apartment. This was about to be very interesting, he thought. Little did he know, that was also what Orihime Inoue was thinking.
The old man had just finished counting the money in the register and was about to move to sweeping the nasty floor. He was humming an old tone, till he heard a car door slam from outside.
He didn't pay it no mind until a man came running frantically to the register. "What in the ham sandwich-" He stopped as he recognized the face. "Boy, whatcha doing around here again?"
"I'll take it." The orange head said, trying to catch his breath. The old man squinted at him like he grew a second head, "Take what?"
Kurosaki Ichigo gave him the same look, only with a hint of determination. "What do think I mean? The damn job!” He said as Urahara blinked in shock. Then the owner started to smirk but before he could say anything, Ichigo beat him to it.
“And no, it’s not because of the girl, you perv.” Ichigo rolled his eyes as Urahara chuckled but gave him some paperwork.
“Sure, it’s not.”
end of chapter.
(a/n: alrighty, that’s how we gonna start it. i’m going to be editing here and there. but lemme know if you guys want me to continue the story.)
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galamurphy · 7 months
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"You are more dangerous than daybreak."
"The Coldest Girl in Coldtown" by Holly Black
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paarthurnax59 · 1 year
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"Soul Of Liberty"
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Pairings: Dean Winchester x ex-wife!Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: angst, talks of cheating, divorce, depression, anger issues, torture, human trafficking, violence, swearing, grudges, hate for exes, talks of smut.
Important note: This story is inspired by the angst fanfiction written by @magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics of her request one-shot of Reader being married to Dean and cheating on him with his brother Sam when he was soulless. I asked about a request from her on a part 2 where she goes above and beyond to earn his forgiveness, no matter how stubborn and hurt Dean is. It's called "Brother in Sin." Angsty as HELL!!!! I really wanted to do a one shot based on this story, but no reply from her. Yes, I want to give her credit to her for this idea and you should look at her stuff! I was working and watching a clip of Avengers: Endgame and was watching Tony's funeral. I was thinking a crossover with Supernatural and Avengers where the reader goes on a long path of redemption, joins Shield, fights alongside the Avengers and dedicated her life to keeping the world safe. Dean is distraught at how much his cheating ex-wife had thrived and so well loved by the world and everything falls apart a result of it. Just kind of made into an entire story and going to work on this.
Introduction: Dean and Reader used to be married and Dean truly thought they were happy until his beloved wife cheated on him with his brother Sam when he was soulless, got caught and left her. a couple years later, Reader tried to apologize and hopefully try to get her husband back, However, Dean was not having it. He had a new woman in his life and left her thinking he would never see her again.
a couple more years later, Dean turns on the news and saw that his ex-wife had become an Avenger and is rumored to be dating Steve Rogers, aka. Captain America. He watches his ex-wife flourish and thrive without him and apparently had gotten super powers, the public calling her "Liberty", inspired by the good Captain. Over time, he lets (Name)'s public persona as one of earth's mightiest heroes and getting the love, attention and praise of one, destroy the life he had finally built after their divorce. Becoming insane over her.
He becomes obsessed with the fact the whole world adores the woman that betrayed him. Believing the worst in (Name), Dean comes to the conclusion that she might have sold her soul to become an Avenger. At the night of a charity Gala at the MET in New York, he decides to confront her at the event all the Avengers were attending, but will Dean soon come to realize that not everything as it seems and can people change for the better?
prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
more to come...
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datshitrandom · 1 year
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Klaine Prompt Reverse Bang Fic: My Dream Come True Author: @little-escapist Artist: datshitrandom Prompt Provided by: datshitrandom Pairing(s): Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson Rating: T Word Count:  17,050 Characters: Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Quinn Fabray, Tina Cohen-Chang, Elliott Gilbert, Luke Anderson (OC) Summary: Kurt Hummel thought that being a famous model was his dream until he met Blaine Anderson and his little son. Genre/Tropes: Single Dad!Blaine, Photographer!Blaine, Model!Kurt, Age Gap!Klaine Warnings: past Blaine/female character
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kitwonder · 2 months
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hello everybuddy, an introduction?
ive never posted on tumblr before, and ive never posted consistently with my creations in general, so this will be pretty new to me. but, im here to say that i hope to create an outlet for my works on here. i have ALOT in mind. i love to write, draw, world build, roleplay, all sorts of imaginary stuff. i also love expressive writing, or anything that is self expressive. my most recent creations revolve around two of my characters named scott and star, but i have way more characters than just those two. i have a whole story which involves my own version of heaven and hell, scott and star are involved. im hoping to make introductory posts dedicated to all of my characters at some point, or atleast the ones i plan to use (hehe). anyways, i love angst, stories that have alot of innerpersonal relationships, i also love religious depictions in my creations. like majority of my characters or stories have religious depictions. to touch more on scott and star, scott is a demon and star is an angel. its not a typical demon/angel story though. these two were once human and have become what they are now. their relationship is... not the healthiest. lol. but despite, they love eachother, and yes they are soulmates basically, but theres so much that prevents them from being together (which mainly involves stars attitude towards the relationship and then aftermath that follows). i call these two hope and hopeless, because star represents hopeless and scott represents hope. i apply alot of my own experiences and interpretations into this, thats basically all of what my works are. id also like to add that heaven and hells roles are kind of switched. lol. but ill have to make a seperate post for that, in order to get into detail. it will probably be long, when i can really get into detail with it. im not good at introductions if you could tell lol. i dont feel like going back and editing shit rn so this will be my half assed intro for now. thank you to anyone who reads this... look forward to seeing my stories, art, and characters in the near future. (i may or may not make another introduction when i decide not to half ass)
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rd-lancaster · 4 months
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Did I just finish a book in one day? Yes.
Everyone please read “What to Say Next?” by Julie Buxbaum so you can gasp and cry with me. This book reignited my passion for reading. It was an easy read but still so deep.
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ascendandt · 7 months
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i does NOTT feel right that im going to be 19 in 2 weeks. i feel like maybe i am getting stupider and worse at being person evey day that passes by
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austenpoppy · 5 months
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Nightfall: at dusk - Prologue: Night monsters
Ao3 link: Nightfall : at dusk - Chapter 1 - Austenpoppy - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
Fanfiction.net link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14301937/1/Nightfall-At-Dusk
Summary:
2001. Ron and Harry are working hard at the Auror Academy to become full-fledged Aurors, while Hermione is trying to find her place in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and Ginny is training with the Holyhead Harpies. Everybody is trying to overcome what happened in the war to focus on building a better future, and life seems easier than it has ever been. However, darkness is looming on the horizon as Muggleborn and Half-Blood wizards and witches disappear before being found out weeks later, their dead bodies having been experimented upon. Meanwhile, Ron has more and more trouble dealing with the aftermath of what happened with the locket...
I can't believe I'm actually starting to post this. This is going to be the first fanfiction I publish, but it is a gigantic project that I have started years ago, when I was barely out of high school - and it's very close to my heart. It all began in a rather boring geography class in 2017 (I'm sorry, Mr. D, I can't say I care about mussel culture in Thailand) where I had let my imagination wander, doing one of my favourite hobbies: inventing stories with one of my favourite characters of all time (in case that was not clear, I'm talking about Ron). I was thinking about one scene from one of my favourite childhood movies (the fantastic "Azur and Asmar" by Michel Ocelot) and I was replacing the characters from the animation film with Harry and Ron, imagining how they could have ended up in that situation and what could happen after.
The entire universe of Nightfall was born from this one scene alone.
If you start this journey with me, my fellow Internet friend, this is going to be a long, very long ride. The story is so huge I divided it into three parts, each of which have their own "arcs" so to speak. The good thing is that I know exactly where I'm going, and I can assure you that considering there are already six years of work put into this project I am not likely to ever abandon it. You should rather feel sorry for my dear friend and beta Vivithefolle who not only had to hear me talk about this project for years, but also had to read some chapters in complete disorder, with some notes from me to explain the context or background information. Thank you so much, Vivi, you motivated me to write at a time you were my only reader and I had this crazy idea I would write all the chapters before publishing them (no this did not work out, but no one can accuse me of being impatient... six freaking years of work...).
However I want to be clear and honest to my potential readers: this is not going to be a happy-go-lucky story by any stretch of the imagination. I am going to write about mature and sometimes very dark subjects, even though if you know me, you may have guessed I rather like humour and am not really fond of cynical and hopeless works. I, however, am a sadist, as you will have the displeasure to discover once you see how I treat Ron (I'm joking, I'm joking...or am I ?). I don't want to say too much, but let's just say people who came here for a feel-good story without any angst will be thoroughly disappointed.
As a side note, I consider this work to be canon-compliant, given that I only consider the seven original books as canon and take what J. K. Rowling wrote on Pottermore with a grain of salt; but "Nightfall" is not my headcanon of what happened after the war either. Consider it more like an evil twin of my actual headcanon.
Now let me introduce you to the world of "Nightfall", or the story that has been living rent free in my head nearly everyday for the past few years. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it, and I'm proud and extremely touched to present you with my first published fanfiction (I also feel very self-conscious, but I guess that was to be expected).
Disclaimer: All characters and events depicted in the original book series belong to J.K. Rowling. Most unfortunately.
Trigger warnings for this chapter: graphic depictions of violence, disturbing imagery
(See the end of the work for more notes).
Prologue : Night monsters
Sunday 7th January, 2001 - 2 am.
It was a very cold night. Thaddeus gripped the pants of his cloak tighter against himself, trying to warm himself up as best as he could. As he exhaled loudly, his breath came out in a silvery steam before disappearing. His lips were chapped, and he could feel the cracks on them that would probably end up bleeding.
He found himself thinking wistfully of the warm bed in which his wife was waiting for him at home. Images of himself with his head going deep into his soft pillow, pulling back his fluffy blankets over his body, and kissing Magdalene goodnight before going to sleep with a contented smile on his face flooded his mind. He fidgeted, feeling irritation slowly rising inside him. How long would he have to wait?
Magdalene was certainly trying to fight off sleep until he came back, though she was most likely too groggy to last long – Calder, who had turned three in November, was in his oppositional phase and was exhausting them both. Thaddeus had been in the Auror Task Force for more than twenty years, and Magdalene had been his wife for well over fifteen years now, but she still worried almost as much as she did back when they started dating.
She worried even more those days considering what had been happening lately. Eight wizards and witches had vanished in the last month and a half in mysterious circumstances;  two of them had ended up dead, their corpses dropped in random places all over the United Kingdom. And to top it off, all of the missing people had either been Muggleborn or Half-Blood, something that the media had been quick to point out.
Of course, worried whispers had emerged ever since Fidvi Khokhar, the second victim, had disappeared, and those whispers had grown louder and louder every time another person had gone missing. A collective shiver had taken over the wizarding community, that was paralyzed with fear at the idea that somehow, You-Know-Who had managed to come back from the dead yet again.
About two weeks earlier, when Conri Hartnett's body had been found five hundred miles away from the place he had last been seen, stupor had seized Aurors and civils alike. Of course, everyone had felt very sorry for his family, though nobody had ever doubted that the former Unspeakable had been killed - there was even a strange relief that had gone hand in hand with the discovery of the corpse, since victims of Death Eater who had disappeared were very rarely found.
Yet, despite this small relief, horror and fright had quickly made their way into everybody's hearts at the knowledge that Hartnett's body had been experimented upon. Thaddeus had not seen the body himself, and photographs of the corpse had been forbidden despite outcries from scoops-hungry journalists, but he had heard other Aurors shiver while recounting the tale in the common room.
The picture those Aurors had painted was the kind that you only saw in the most terrible nightmares. Hartnett's fingers, hands, arms, legs and foot had apparently disappeared, replaced instead with translucid tentacles reminiscent of a jellyfish. Meanwhile, his head had taken up a more cubic-shaped form, while his hair had completely fallen off. Furthermore, the rest of his body had been covered with a bad rash. The Aurors who were at the crime scene had said you could barely make out the place the human body ended and the jellyfish started, as if the two were one and the same.
Really Thaddeus couldn't imagine much more terrible fate. The Auror department had not even allowed Hartnett's family to see the body, let alone get it back for a proper funeral. As of now the scientific team was still trying to figure out what had happened to Hartnett exactly. So far the only things they were sure about were that the kind of jellyfish Hartnett had been merged with was a species of the family Oceaniidae, and that dark magic had been involved in the twisted process of Transfiguration.
Two days after Hartnett, another body had been found in Cardiff. This one, too, had been awfully disfigured. After a bit of investigation, it had turned out to be Donovan Kovalenko, a British Ukrainian citizen who had worked as a secretary in the Ukrainian embassy until his disappearance, and the last person to have disappeared.
Unlike Bartnett, he had not been blended with a jellyfish, but with a bowhead whale. His face had been completely unrecognizable, and it was only because of a very specific birthmark that the scientific team had been able to identify the body.
Just like with Bartnett, Kovalenko's transfigured corpse had been found very far away from the place he had last been seen, since the Ukrainian embassy was based in London. What was more, he had also been found in a completely different region than Bartnett, whose body had been discovered in a little town in Scotland, Tobermory.
All in all, Thaddeus thought with a shudder, there was something really dark going on, but no one could tell whether this was the work of a serial killer, of Pureblood fanatics, of a human trafficking ring, or something else entirely.
Thaddeus didn't think Magdalene had any reason to fret today, though. If the situation he'd been required to deal with had been dangerous, he wouldn't be hanging around waiting for the Hit wizard on duty to come and let him know what was going on. It was probably some kind of drunk wizard who'd destroyed public property thinking Trolls were attacking him. Two months ago he'd arrested a man who had been bothering a neighbourhood in London, believing himself to be Celestina Warbeck. The fella had sung all night with a croaky falsetto voice that seemed immune to the most powerful Silencios.
Merlin, he hated being the reserve Auror at night, but he needed the extra money.
Just as his mind was going to go down a rather dark route he was nonetheless accustomed to, he noticed a familiar figure coming right toward him, looking grim. He couldn't help but raise his eyebrows in surprise.
"Harvey?" he asked as they showed each other their Auror badges and checked each other's identity. "What're you doing here?"
"Nasty business, Thaddeus", Harvey replied sombrely, shaking his head, while Thaddeus followed him. "A young witch who was on her way home after a party stumbled upon the body of Lucinda Backstreet. Lynn's team is already on the crime scene."
Immediately, Thaddeus felt his shoulders slump, and his heart constricted. It was going to be a long night. Magdalene's eyes would give up the fight against sleep well before he would be able to go home, and the first thing he would do when he did go back to his house wouldn't be to kiss his children or wife but take a huge glass of Firewhisky.
Lucinda Backstreet was one of the eight people who had disappeared in the last weeks. A young girl from Bristol, enthusiastic and passionate about the protection of magical animals. One day she had left her home to go to the weekly meeting of her club dedicated to the defense of the rights of magical creatures, and then nobody had ever seen her again. Her disappearance had really caused a stir nationwide. Not only was she the youngest victim, but her father, Cyneric Backstreet, was a well-known businessman who had made a fortune selling transportable strongboxes that were charmed to repel most common spells.
Walking toward her corpse reminded Thaddeus as to why some days he thought that he should find another job.
Neither Harvey nor he were speaking, and the only sounds that could be heard were that of their boots on gravel. After a few minutes spent in silence, they finally approached the crime scene. Thaddeus noticed that a few members of the scientific team were already there, looking for evidence and preparing the body for transport, including the Team Leader of the scientific team herself, Auror Lynn Oliver. Thaddeus gave a nod in her direction, which she answered grimly.
Thaddeus looked around for familiar faces, and he saw Monica and Griffiths acknowledge his presence with a small wave, though they quickly got back to what they were doing, both of their faces incredibly serious.
When Thaddeus finally laid eyes on Lucinda's body, he felt himself repress a gag and he had to quickly avert his eyes. The young girl was spread out on the pavement, her face turned toward the starry night. Her expression would give Thaddeus nightmares for months. Her mouth was contorted in pain, her cheeks were tear-stained, and her glassy eyes were wide open in terror, telling a story of terrible suffering.
Though her face and chest had remained human, her stretched-out arms had been turned into something else, just like the previous victims. This time, as far as Thaddeus could tell, the monsters responsible for the murders had tried to turn Lucinda into some sort of part-Phoenix creature. While the shape of her arms was visible, they had been saddled with very big wings, covered in those unmistakable red feathers typical of Phoenixes. Some of them had seemingly burnt, as they had turned black and were emitting a dark smoke that Thaddeus instinctively backed away from.
Lucinda's hands were still present, but her fingers had elongated, and were contracted, as if she had had a seizure. Her legs, too, had been partially Transfigured. Thaddeus could see feathers coming out from under her pants, that had clearly been buttoned up hastily, and her feet had been turned into sharp talons, onto which no shoe could be put, though her shoes had still been put beside her body.
"I can't believe I'll have to be the one who'll tell Cyneric Backstreet that his daughter is dead, and that her death was clearly not a quick, painless one", sighed Harvey next to Thaddeus.
"Is that why you arrived at the crime scene before me?" Thaddeus asked, his voice laced with sympathy as he looked up at Harvey. "The emergency code for the missing persons' case?"
"Yeah, I was the one from my squad on duty tonight", Harvey replied, his breath turning into vapor as he exhaled. "The witness fortunately remembered it, and I received the signal thirty minutes ago. Right now Gallaway is taking her deposition."
Harvey jutted his chin toward a young woman, who couldn't be older than twenty-five and was in a clear state of great agitation. She was standing a few feet away from the crime scene, and was talking to a black-haired Auror in uniform that Thaddeus had only met a few times.
Thaddeus crouched down to look at Lucinda. He could not imagine the horrors she must have been through, and he shuddered as he thought of her father, who had openly wept in the Aurors' Office when he had been told there were few chances that Lucinda was alive after the first two bodies had been found.
As a father himself, Thaddeus could barely bear to think about that happening to his own children. Lucinda's face was so youthful that it was just plain wrong to imagine her doing anything other than laughing with her friends, complaining that she had too much homework, or giving animated speeches about endangered species.
Feeling dejected, Thaddeus turned his face toward Harvey and declared quietly: "Poor girl. She wasn't even seventeen."
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He was stuck on a chair in the tent and felt dirty. He looked down at his hands. He had been so sure he had cleaned them several times before, yet they looked filthy, dusty - all those adjectives finishing with a - y that applied to him because he was such a terrible person.
"Nothing will ever wipe your hands off your betrayal. It's too late. But has there been a time when you were at their level? Has there ever been a time when you were worth their brightness? No, and you know it. You're a dark creature, Ron Weasley, with even darker and hideous thoughts. I have seen your heart, and it is black. You have tried to keep your jealousy and your mediocrity hidden, you have tried to ignore the calls of your inner nature, but hear me out - you have failed."
"Do you see them? They are outside, in the sun, in the light. They shine very brightly, don't they, Ron? Their skins glow, their eyes sparkle, their smiles warm up everything around them. Do you see how much happier the world seems to be with them in it? Birds sing again, flowers are blooming, and Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are the stars the sky was waiting for."
“You are in the dark, and you will remain in the dark. You are seated in dust because you are nothing more than dust yourself. Actually, to be perfectly honest, your surroundings were welcoming and comfortable until you showed up and sat down in this chair. Crazy how you spoil everything around you. See, here, the tissue the tent is made of is quickly falling into pieces. Your mere presence is enough to destroy what is around you... Unless the objects you are surrounded by somehow feel how evil you are, and they'd rather turn to dust than stay with you any longer. Choose which hypothesis you prefer."
"Aaaah, they're coming your way. I will never understand why they decided to keep you with them, despite your darkness. But I will never understand real kindness either, so I will drop the subject. It was your redemption, Ronald. They were your redemption. You could have atoned for your sins. You could have let them crush you so they would climb higher and finally reach the sky where they belong. You could have done something useful for a change. Yet you spoiled your only opportunity. You spoiled everything, as usual."
"Now you're not even worthy enough to be a footboard for them to climb. You are just dust on their shoes. Dust, dust, dust. They will be so happy to wipe this dirt off their shoes. Even coming near you dampens their spirits. Their smiles are less warm, their eyes are less bright, their skins a lot paler. So are you going to spoil them, Ronald, like you did with the tent, or will they finally beat you and turn you into dust? Given how furious they look, I bet it's the latter."
He felt cold. Harry and Hermione were looking at him with a freezing glare and a scornful snarl at their lips. He shivered. And swallowed. He knew he had fucked everything up. He knew he deserved their anger and more. He just didn't want them to be upset over this, over him and his stupidity. And if he was honest with himself, it was also terrifying to be on the receiving end of their hatred.
"Listen", he choked, "I-I can't say how sorry I am, because no word will ever be enough. I am also...I am also so happy that you accepted to take me back to help you. I promise I won't be a bother. Don't mind me. I'll just do what you need me to do and disappear from your lives forever after if-if that's what you want. Please don't throw me out !"
But Harry and Hermione were not listening to him. Their freezing glare had turned into a flaming and scalding hot look and they were burning him. He was very hot. He was sweating. He felt drops falling on his face. The locket was weighing on his chest. It was so heavy. It hurt. He felt like he was melting.
He looked down at his hands again. He was actually melting. The skin of his fingers was going brown and was softening; small drops began to fall on the floor of the tent. Ploc, Ploc. They were forming a puddle and it looked like mud. In fact, he was sure it was mud. He wanted to yell, but he couldn't. His face was already melting, joining the puddle on the floor.
Ron woke up with a start and sat up, gasping for air. It had been a nightmare. Just a fucking nightmare. He ran a hand across his face, shivering from head to toe, and felt wetness on his cheeks. Fuck it, he had once again been crying in his sleep. It was the fourth time in seven days. Even as a child Ron hadn't been that much of a wuss, even though George liked to remind him that he'd kept taking refuge into one of his brothers' beds (or Ginny's) whenever he was scared, and that until he was eight.
It wouldn't matter as much if he had been crying for anything else. Not that he preferred the other nightmares, mind you, but he just felt pathetic for turning into a sobbing mess all because he'd been too weak to resist an effing necklace. Harry was particularly affected by Dementors. Nothing less than Bellatrix Lestrange could make Hermione truly terrified. Ginny, who had been possessed by a diary, didn't flinch at the mere presence of a book.
But him ? Ron could already imagine George making grand gestures wherever he went: "Alas, my dear Sirs, gentlemen, thou shall make place for the delicate Ronniekins in his worn-out PJs, for he fainted when the dreaded locket came into his dainty view. Please bring the smelling salts while we're fanning his pasty white and freckled face and he's letting out little whines of distress. He's the king of wimps, thou see, and he can't bear the sight of lockets, less he be crying like a famished baby !"
Yeah. George'd be the kind of asshole who'd offer him a pacifier if he knew what kind of nightmares was making Ron cry in his sleep.
Ron looked down at his hands, the real ones this time. Goddammit, they were still shaking. Bloody frickity freakering fuck, he thought as he closed his eyes in frustration, why did he have no control over his own body? Why did he have to act like he was a ninety-something-old buffer who needed help to take a piss?
Why did he have to ask himself stupid questions that nobody would answer?
Even though the bedroom was completely silent at this hour of the night, Ron could still hear his heart thumping madly in his ears, and despite himself he couldn't help but feel like the locket was still whistling behind him, making his skin crawl. Sweat was running down his back and had already soaked his armpits, and yet for some reason he was cold, goosebumps erupting all over his flesh.
And he still had this impression of someone hissing near him, and the room was closing on him, and his pyjama top was glued to his skin, and he didn't like the way the sheets were trapping his legs, preventing him from moving... Unable to bear the situation any longer and feeling like he was suffocating, Ron yanked the sheets off his part of the bed and got up quickly, before pulling his sticky pyjama top over his head and throwing it on the ground.
He took his wand and started walking toward the door, though he couldn't help himself and stopped to throw a glance at Hermione once he was in the doorframe. She was sleeping peacefully, her wild brown curls framing her head like some kind of fairy tale princess. The moonlight was lighting up her beautiful face, and she had a contented smile that almost made him want to go back to bed to kiss it.
Leaving the bedroom, Ron crossed the corridor and went into the small kitchen of the flat, and immediately put water into the kettle to make himself tea. He cast a heating charm on the kettle, took his favourite mug, and put a teabag in it. Waiting for the water to boil, he put his outstretched arms on the counter and sighed, his head lowered toward the sink.
It was the third time in a week that he'd had a nightmare about the locket. It wasn't surprising per say, because it was January and it was always around this time of the year that Ron had the most vivid nightmares in regard to the locket, but it still sucked. Especially because it'd been three years already, and some part of Ron had - foolishly - hoped that the nightmares and his locket-related terror would have subsided by now.
But nope, he mused as he stared at the happy light brown dog on the mug running around and chasing a butterfly. He still had dreams in which he could feel the heavy weight of the locket on his chest, preventing him from breathing. In which he was trapped in an endless stream of dark thoughts echoed by the locket's whispers, reminding him of all the times he had felt worthless. In which he kept leaving the tent as Harry's scornful stares and Hermione's cries followed him even after he woke up.
At the same time, he knew the nightmares were the last thing he deserved for ever having walked out on Harry and Hermione. He'd never been good enough for them in the first place, but deserting them when they needed him most was irredeemable, something that the locket, whether it be through his nightmares or flashes, kept reminding him of.
At this moment a whistling sound made Ron's heart do a somersault before he realized that it was only the kettle boiling. He poured the hot water into his mug, added two and a half sugar cubes to his drink, steeped the teabags in the water, and as he adopted the same waiting position as before his thoughts went back to the place he had among his two best friends.
He was thankful Harry and Hermione still wanted him in their lives, and somehow he kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, when they'd wake up and realize he'd been nothing but a cock-up all this time. Truth be told, part of Ron had to pinch himself every morning when he was reminded that Hermione wanted to be with him, of all people, and that he got to be an Auror Trainee with Harry, who still thought Ron had his back.
So he'd keep trying to enjoy every moment while it lasted. It was not always easy, because every little thing seemed to remind him of a memory in which he'd fucked up or that showed how insignificant he was. Yet Ron had learned to cast the memories aside in order to focus on more important things, like his family, Harry, Hermione, his other friends, or his studies. The hardest part in all this was to not let his useless feelings get in the way of things.
Ron could say with some pride that he'd grown way better at dismissing his gross feelings of jealousy and insecurity compared to when he was a teenager. Sure, sometimes he slipped up because he was still a moron, he pondered as he turned a spoon inside his mug. But all in all, so far he had managed to keep his selfish desires in check - mostly.
He kept making efforts to show others, and more particularly Harry and Hermione, that he had changed. For that he needed to make sure they didn't notice he still had the same old feelings, or at least he needed to let them know that those feelings would never be a burden to them again. Of course sometimes they couldn't help but notice a few things, like this time Ron had casually let slip that he thought Hermione often favoured Harry over him and it had ended up in a huge row with Hermione as she yelled he was just being a possessive jealous sod trying to stifle her. Or this time he had jokingly told Harry he was Mum's favourite and Harry, disturbed, had replied that however important Mrs. Weasley was in his life, she was not his mother. Harry had been weird for days after that, all because of Ron, his stupid mouth and his stupid brain.
That was the reason why he made sure no one knew the extent of the mess he had in his head. While he had never been a great liar, he tried not to be too specific if someone asked him what was wrong, he tried to take their attention away from whatever face he was making, he tried to dismiss his reactions whenever they were related to this pathetic sticky, stinky magma of insecurity inside him.
And it was somewhat working, but for how long would it last?
Right as his mood was turning as bitter as the tea he had brewed, considering he had let the teabag steep for more than ten minutes, he heard footsteps coming in his direction. He didn't bother to take his wand or even turn around. Ron would recognize Hermione's light but determined steps anywhere.
She entered the kitchen and stopped in the hallway for a few seconds, before walking toward him and enveloping him from behind. Even though she had wrapped a warm nightgown around her, her hands were still cold on his chest. Yet he didn't mind. The contact of her skin on his, the touch of her curls and cheek on his back made everything better, and despite himself he closed his eyes for a brief instant, savouring the moment.
"A nightmare again ?" she asked in a low voice.
"Yeah..." Ron admitted with a sigh. "I didn't want to wake you up, but I needed to get up."
"It's okay", Hermione replied in a reassuring tone. "But I'm starting to get worried. You've had many nightmares in the last three weeks and haven't been able to sleep properly even though you have exams coming up. Perhaps you should see a healer to get a Sleeping potion ?" she added anxiously.
"Not until I really have to", he retorted firmly. "We've already had far too many problems with Sleeping potions, I don't want to risk it. Besides, I'd have to tell the Auror Academy's specialist Healer about it and I'd like to avoid it if I can."
"I know", Hermione sighed. "I'm just worried about you. You always seem to get so stressed out before your exams at the Auror Academy, even worse than I've ever been at Hogwarts. I wished you would stop doubting yourself so much."
Ron did not reply, but he squeezed Hermione's hands that were still clasped on his chest, right next to his heart. It was strange how the people around him seemed to know him so well while at the same time not knowing anything about the exact reasons that were making him upset.
"What can I say ?" He finally acknowledged after a few moments of silence, though he hoped his tone appeared casual. "You can't change old habits with a wave of your wand. I guess it's hard for me to think I won't fuck up somewhere. But you shouldn't worry about me", he added gently. Go back to sleep."
"I woke up because you were not beside me in the bed, I'm not going back in there without you", she retorted assertively.
"I'm gonna lose the debate if I try to argue, won't I ?" Ron snorted.
"Of course you would lose, I'm more stubborn than you", she said confidently, and Ron could feel that she was sporting a small smile.
"Even if that were true, which remains to be seen, that's nothing to boast about, Miss Granger", he tutted in a fake formal voice. "I've been told that I'm more stubborn than a brooding mule having been raised by Harry, so imagine what could be worse than that... Apart from Harry himself, of course."
Ron felt Hermione shake behind him as she laughed heartily. He could not help but feel a surge of pride at having made her laugh after having made her worry for no good reason. Being able to make Hermione laugh as much as possible was one of his goals in life, and the sound of her laughter was one of the things he cherished most.
"I love you", she said fondly, as if it was the only logical answer to his antics.
At that, Ron turned around, and it was his turn to envelop Hermione in his arms, her smaller body fitting perfectly with his own. He kissed the top of her head, her brown curls tickling his face, before putting his chin on top of the mass of her unruly hair.
"I love you too", he whispered, and he hoped she could not detect how emotional he was.
He was glad that she could not see his face in the dark kitchen that was only lit up by the moonbeams that went through the main window. If she had, she would have seen in his eyes, of which Hermione always said they could never lie, the one thing that kept playing on a loop in his head but that was stuck in his throat.
I don't deserve you.
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Notes:
I suppose I should add a bit of information concerning my own vision of the Wizarding World that may seem surprising in future chapters:
1. I rather like to think the wizarding community is not small. I consider that there are hundreds of thousands, or even millions of wizards and witches in the United Kingdom, scattered in many different cities and villages.
2. For the same reason, I do not think Hogwarts is the sole magical school of the entire United Kingdom. It is the most reputed one, but I imagine there are thousands of smaller schools everywhere, allowing for people who do not want their children to go to a boarding school to learn magic and to learn how to control their powers nonetheless.
3. Only old wizards and witches actually dress in robes the way one would picture a typical wizard robe. I have my own ideas of what wizarding fashion is.
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s0leander · 5 months
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What If It's Us - Abertalli & Silvera (2018)
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This book is great for those who are in the middle of high school or just starting college/university. If you like slice of life romance, mutual pining and drama then this is the book for you. Genuinely a good book, just not particularly my cup of tea.
That being said, part of me does want to check out the sequel book just to see where these two end up. I adore young adult novels with all my heart, but this one was a bit too back and forth on the avoidable high school conflicts for me. Despite all this though, it is well written and would make a fantastic addition to any high school library. I've met quite a few people who have great things to say about this book, and I really did want to love it. The fact of the matter is that it's just not for me, and that's okay!
I do enjoy the relationship dynamic between Ben and Arthur when it works, the patient more level headed guy and the high strung ball of anxiety is just one of those tropes that tickles my brain. All in all, I do wish this book had been around when I was younger so I could have had the chance to love it in all it's glory. Even still, I'd happily recommend this to anyone who might love it more.
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orcelito · 1 year
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Honestly I have realized that 99% of my shipping of vashwood comes from trimax. Yea I vibed with it while watching tristamp but trimax is what took my utter heart and soul
It's to the point where I just don't rly enjoy tristamp vashwood that much anymore hfkshfjd like. OK? Those sure are some dudes. Not My dudes tho, sorry.
#speculation nation#i'll still reblog the fanart if it's good. but yea it just ain't what im about anymore.#i feel like the worst vashwood perceptions r found within tristamp only fans anyways#(this post tangentially related to the post i just reblogged)#tristamp only fans see these two and are like 'this is the Angry Buff Dude and the Tiny Pixy Man'#which pretty much erases like everything they stand for? while also supporting racist caricatures.#not all tristamp only fans do this btw but i have definitely seen it much more around there.#meanwhile trimax vashwood is just like. this is an old married couple. theyre so hopelessly Goofy.#the angst is off the CHARTS. the love even more so.#they very genuinely love each other in trimax In Canon and that's what really gets me.#plus theyre pretty similar in height and build. Adult Men!!!! i like this ship for Adult Men!!!!!#idk this also relates to that post i made yesterday about fandom perception of vash being an innocent uwu virgin#despite being 150 or so years old. & they'll also make wolfwood some sex god or whatever#when comparatively hes been an adult for a MUCH shorter time than vash. my dude's still a pretty young adult ok#and you wanna tell me he's got more sex experience than the 150 year old dude????? ok...#lol im just complaining at this point. i have very specific views of my ideal version of this pairing#and a lot of fandom portrayals are starting to bother me bc of it.#so im just writing my own vashwood my own way. rn focusing on vash being a rounded person#yes having some childish aspects. but also some mature aspects. he's a goofy adult. it can exist simultaneously.#looking forward to when wolfwood finally comes in. i hope to do him justice.
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