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paarthurnax59 · 1 year

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"Never To Be"

Chapter 3

Warnings: fluff, flirting, angst, past trauma, serious talk of abuse, Dean being a huge dick to young!reader

Chapter 3

Over the next few days, Steve would come in the to the Big Apple Café and asked if he would be seated in your section. He told you once a conversation about how much he liked the choice suggested for him and ordered it whenever he was being served by you, and always leaving you a big tip after. As time went on you and Steve got to know about each other a little more. How his parents were Irish immigrants, and his father was serving in WW1 and passed from mustard gas poisoning. His mother had raised him on her own and later passed away from tuberculosis when he was eighteen.

You told him that your parents passed when you were five years old and were taken in by a man named Bobby Singer. Not wanting to tell him too much about your life, you left out that you once used to hunt the supernatural. You most certainly didn’t tell him about the Winchesters, let alone Dean. Nobody needed to know those details about your life.

You don’t know why but talking with Steve just felt more natural. Your talks just flowed like a river and there was never a dull pause in your conversations with one another. You also loved hearing him talk about World War two and his experience with his time with the Hollowing Commandos and his battles with Hydra. It’s one to talk to a history teacher who was never there, but it was completely different experience talking to someone who was there and is still able to remember unlike many old men his age.

Furthermore, whenever you are serving Steve, you often see some of your coworkers smirking at you and even watch you as you converse with the former World War two veteran. You could have sworn that you saw some of the servers chuckle and raise eyebrows at you coming back from serving Steve. Sometimes you wonder if people ever get any work done.

“Wait, hold on! You knew Wolverine? The famous X-man with the claws?” You asked him excitedly while having a conversation with while bringing his drink during lunch hour. Steve chuckled as he saw your reaction as he drew in his book. You couldn’t tell what he was drawing but just let him have his space then try to sneak a peek, no matter who much you wanted to.

“Wolverine? That’s what Logan calls himself these days?” Steve chuckled while drinking an ice-cold lemonade that you had made yourself. You whipped your apron down from previous crumbs that caught on to it.

“Hey, it suits him very well. Also he’s my favorite of the Hollowing Commandos.” You stated as a matter of fact and Steve placed his heart on his chest and gave an fake offensive sigh with a smile still on his face.

“I’m heartbroken, (Name). I thought I was your favorite!” Steve laughed when you told him about your infatuation with the famous mutant. Shrugging, you smirked looking down at the handsome New York native.

“I have a type and I am not ashamed of it.” You stated proudly, laughing with America’s first avenger. You chuckled as you placed down his plate of a Philly cheese Stake. Steve then looked up at you curiously and was beginning to get flustered. He stroked his hair and huffed loudly for the tenth time he was at your table.

“So…(Name), I have been meaning to ask you something…” He got all nervous suddenly as you placed his order on his table and looked at him.

“Yes, Steve?” You responded and stood up straight to looked down at him as he was sitting down.

“I was wondering if you would-” Steve said but was interrupted by a buzzing sound of his beeper and groaned as he saw who the message was from.

“What is it, Steve?” You asked him to want to know what was causing him so much distress.

“It’s Director Nick Fury of S.H.E.I.L.D. He needs to meet with him and it’s urgent. I’m so sorry to ask you this but can you put my lunch in a to-go box, quickly?” He asked and you nodded, took his plate and told him you would be right back before he could leave. You came right back out with a cardboard box with his food, to find he was talking to an attractive, red-head woman in a black leather jacket. Her green eyes turned to you as she gave Steve a nod and he turned to see you holding his lunch. “Oh, (Name)! Thank you! I really appreciate it! I can eat this on the Helicarrier!” He cheeringly stated as he took the food from you and then Natasha walked up to you and smirked.

“So, is this her, Steve? The pretty waitress that you can’t seem to shut up about?” The woman asked and Steve just blushed red like a cherry.

“Shut up, Natasha and let’s go. Bye (Name), I will stop by again when I can.” He said as he gave you the money for his food and a huge tip for you once more. The woman, known as Natasha, smiled at you and led Steve what looked like a fancy black SUV and both of them got in and drove off as quickly as possible. Dumb founded by what happened, you went back into the restaurant to the kitchen. Where Katie was there waiting for you.

“So?! How did it go?!” She asked as she tried to get up in your personal space. Some of the other waiters, both men and women alike, wanted to know how you interaction with the famous Steve Rogers was going.

“It was fine, but he left early. He said it was an emergency and got his food to go.” You responded nonchalantly while you shrugged your shoulders. The stares you were getting from the others were starting to make you nervous.

“What did he say to you before he went?” One other waitress asked of you.

“Well, it seemed like he was going to ask me something. But he got a message and said he had to leave with his friend.” You replied and the other employees gasped and whispered to one another. You felt confused as to what everyone was whispering about and what is it that you were not getting. “What are you guys talking about?”

“He was going to ask you out!!!” One waitress blurted out looking like she was about to jump up and down, making your mouth drop and a small gasp felt from you plump lips.

“What?! Come on! Don’t be ridiculous! You don’t know that what he was going to ask me out.” You shrugged off the comment the girl said and folded your arms.

“Honey, the food is not the reason that boy keeps coming back here. He’s got it bad for you.” One young black waitress said with a hint of sass to her tone while she rolled her eyes at you. Looking dumb founded you looked around and saw quite a few of the other employees nodding their heads in agreement.

“Come on, (Name)! We see the way he looks at you when you aren’t looking. He always asks for you when you are working and if not, he goes someplace else! It’s obvious he likes you!” One male waiter interjected as he took a step-in front of you. The words your coworkers were telling you made your head real with questions. Was it true? Was Steve Rogers really going to ask you on a date? You blushed as the thought comes into your mind, but then was soon clouded by your old memories of your life before you got to New York, along with Dean’s last words that he had said to you.

“You are nothing more than a useless, stupid bitch that had been nothing but a burden from day one.”

“They are dead because of you!”

“If you want to die on a hunt, be my guest!”

“You’re not worth it, princess! You never were! So why don’t you just take that fucking bag yours, get on that fucking bus and get the hell out of my life!”

You got emotional and felt as though tears were about to stream down your face, you ran out of the kitchen, with everyone’s eyes staring at you. Once you stepped out of the building, you let the waterworks fall on your cheeks, hugging yourself tightly hoping the pain will go away. The sound of the sirens wailed in the streets of New York, making it much harder to calm yourself down. You hear a door bursting open from behind and your name being called.

“(Name)! What’s wrong?” The voice you recognize as Katie walked up behind you, concern laced in her tone. “You kind of scared us for a second. Are you okay?” She asked you when approached you cautiously.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just don’t like having that much attention on me is all.” You sniffed as you tried to get the words out. While you were being honest about not liking so much attention, telling her about the last few words Dean had spoken to you was out of the question. Katie didn’t need to see how broken you really were. Not to this degree anyway. In the eighteen months that you have known her, you never really told her much about Dean and how much he hurt you. You simply told her that he was going to go live with his girlfriend and parted ways from him. Never had you said anything about that night and how much he broke your heart. Buried deep in your memories and in your heart.

“(Name)…this is not just about that. Something about this is bugging you and I really want you to tell me. Does this have anything to do with Steve? Or was it someone else?” Shea asked looking at you when you refused to make eye contact with her. You shook your head in denial, making Katie step forward to you. “(Name), you must tell me. The way that you ran out of there like you did hurt.” She said softly as she grabbed your hands. You looked up at her with red eyes and her eyebrows furled looking down sat you with sorrowful expression. “Please tell what happened. Does it have something to do with that guy? What was his name? Dereck?”

“Dean. His name was Dean. But it doesn’t matter.” You lie, hoping that Katie would drop the whole conversation. However, you weren’t that lucky with her.

“Come on, (Name). I saw the look on your face when you ran out of the kitchen. Whatever happen between you and this Dean guy, it broke you. Like you were traumatized from your experience with him.” She cautiously spoke while both of your hands remained in hers. “Please tell me.” Your friend pleaded looking into your tear-filled eyes and your quiet sniffing as you hugged her tightly and she returned the hug by wrapping her arms around you. Shaking and sobbing, you continued for a few minutes while Katie rubbed your back up and down. “It’s okay, sis. Let it out. Just let it out.”

“He was…so cruel to me….Katie” You admitted to her as you broke out in more sobs as your friend continued to hold you.

“Dean?” The blonde-haired woman finally asked.

“He was…the reason I left Kansas… and everything that I have ever known. He said some of the most horrible things to me. Things that… no human being deserved to hear.” You cried as your sobs still continue.

“Well, what did he say?” She asked once more while she pulled away from you looking at your red puffy eyes and tear-stained eyes. You sighed as you tried to calm down from your emotional breakdown. For years, you had never told Katie about the things Dean had said to you. You never had a reason to, until now.

“He said I was a bitch and called me stupid. That I didn’t matter to him and was never worth keeping around. Dean was always so callous and cold toward toward me growing up.” You admitted, making Katie step back from you in shock.

“He said this shit to you?” Katie gasped taken aback from the information that you had withheld from her for a year and a half. She thought maybe it was something more civil, that you two had parted ways as friends.

“Yes, on the night I left Kansas, he even pulled my hair and hurt me by nearly making me fall to the ground.” You cried as Katie continued to stare at you in shock. “He even destroyed my cellphone so I could never call him or anyone that I used to know because he also blamed me for one of our friends’ deaths. He made me so isolated and forced me on the bus to the east coast. I haven’t been back there since.” Katie stood silent for a while, she looked down at you with absolute astonishment. Fear started to take hold as she looked at you in silence. Silence caused by exposing your past to her, now worrying that she is going to look at you. Would she look down on you now that you had been more honest with her about your history? “I get that this is not someone wants to hear, and I never wanted to dump all this on you. And I understand if you-”

Just when your mind started to believe the worst, Katie then pulled you into a tight, bone crushing hug once more. She rubbed your back up and down in a very comforting way. Your arms surrounded her as she spoke softly to you.

“(Name), nothing you say or anything you went through is going to make me think any less of you.” She uttered softly, still hugging you in her embrace. You continued to cry but intently listen to what your best friend was saying. “I had no idea that you went through something like this. And honestly, it all makes sense as to why you are so closed off from people, let alone from men. Whatever this Dean guy did was psychotic. He was psychotic.” She observed from what you were telling her. However, you felt the need to defend him in some way.

“He was one of the few people I had known growing up. I have known him sense I was five-years-old. I looked up to him since he came into my life. To everyone else he was kind, selfless and gentle. To me, he was always so mean and cold. For years I tried so hard to impress him, to make him proud. I one time drew a picture of him and his family before his mom died.” You confessed but was careful with not wanting to tell her about the hunter’s life. “I gave it to him on his birthday and you know what he did?”

“He did what?” She asked curiously with sad eyes looking down at you.

“He crumbled it up, said it was crap and told me to never go through his stuff again!” you burst out sobbing while not letting go of Katie. For some reason, that memory of you and Dean had hit you the hardest, even more than the night you left. You had worked so hard at that picture and been drawing for weeks so that you got every detail right. You even tried your hand at colored pencils with Dean’s drawing. By the time you were done, it looked so bright and colorful that it almost seemed lifelike. Hoping Dean would be happy and proud of how hard you worked on it. You were only fifteen at the time and didn’t have a job to buy anything for Dean for his birthday. So, after seeing him crumble that drawing you did for him, you sobbed on the floor of Bobby’s kitchen after he left the room. “I worked so hard on it and he just crumbled it in front of me! I didn’t stop crying the entire night! I felt so humiliated even though it was just me and him in the room.”

“Did anyone else not know about it?” She asked with every word you tell her making her upset.

“No. In fact, whenever someone else was around, Dean had acted like nothing had happened. He was always nice and civil when other people were around. When we were alone, it was a very different story. I was so nervous about giving him the drawing in front of other people that I gave it to him in private.” You professed to Katie as you pulled away from her slowly and wiped away the tears from your face. “All my life he had made me felt useless and unwanted, and I often wondered if the people around me felt the same. They just never had the guts to tell me.”

As you finally calmed down from your emotional breakdown, you hugged yourself tightly rubbing your arms. Katie, who looked like she was about to cry herself, look down at you and touched your cheek. She gave you a sad smile and wiped some of the tears from your face.

“(Name), babes. I want you to hear this and remember what I am about to say to you. You are not useless, or unwanted. Not even in the slightest. Here, at work or wherever it may be, there are people who really do care about you. People have love for you here.” She softly stated hoping it would calm your nerves. Looking up at her with red puffy eyes, you continued to listen to what she was saying. “You are one of the smartest, most talented, and hardworking people that I know. After telling me all of the stuff that you went through, just made me have even more admiration for you.”

“Really?” You asked in astonishment looking at the tall blonde.

“Of course. (Name), what you have experienced was abuse. Emotional and mental abuse, and not a lot of people break from that.” She admitted firmly and honestly. “Whatever this dick had done, was to put you down because while I don’t know him, it sounded like he was using you as a scapegoat for whatever problems he had. He just saw you as someone young, innocent, and vulnerable, and then decided to aim all his anger out on you. You were just there and honestly it is something that you should never blame yourself for.”

You let her words sink in and had thought about all the times Dean had made you feel so insignificant. It was true that Dean had a terrible childhood. He was always left behind by his father to look after his younger brother since he four years old. He never got to have a normal childhood. Always left alone with Sam, moving from place to place, and having no stability whatsoever. It would explain why he is the way he is. Of course, he would never take his anger out on Sam. He loved Sam with all he had, practically raised him. So, when you came into the picture, all bright-eyed, sweet and unblemished from the world of monsters, it was fair game to him. Despite that, you couldn’t help but fall for him, even though you were eleven years younger than him. You stayed with him through everything. Hunting down Azazel, his father’s death, him going to Hell, the angels, Lucifer getting free and the apocalypse. Most people would say it was pathetic staying with someone like Dean, let alone have feelings for him. However, loving someone doesn’t always make sense, nor is it easy to shake off.

“If anything, it was a God send that he sent you away. You were not safe or happy with him. I know that when I found you outside our apartment that you felt so lost and broken, but at the same time had a heart so big that anyone would fall in love with you after just ten minutes.” She said as she took your hands into hers and held tightly on to them. “And…I think…that’s why Steve has grown so fond of you and why he likes being around you. He can see that spark that’s in you, (Name). The same one I saw when I first met you.”

With Katie’s words making your heart swell, you begin to tear up again. Not tears of sorrow or pain, but of gratitude. The thankfulness of a friend that cared deeply about your well-being. You felt like you haven’t had that in so long. She reminded you of Sam in a lot of ways. Which made you miss him even more. You hugged her one more time before you broke away from her.

“I know that It doesn’t seem like it now, and that it’s going to take time to get over the years of torment that Dean had put you through, but it will get better. Just give it time.” She looked at you as her face then turned slightly more serious. “However, the next time you talk to Steve…and he asks you out…you are going to say yes.” She said, which then made you snort in amusement.

“Whatever happened to “give it time”?” You chuckled at Katie for her pushiness to go and date Steve.

“Girl, I know what I said, but you would have to be very stupid to pass up a guy like Steve. Any girl would be walking on a mine field just to even talk to Captain America.”

(A sample of what Reader's art-skills were like at fifteen. not my artwork!)

Please comment, like and reblog!

Part 4

#the avengers #angst #steve x reader #supernatural #dean winchester #captain america fluff #marvel #dean winchester angst #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #mentalheathawareness #https://www.tumblr.com/tsukatteru #https://www.tumblr.com/yvonneeeee

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parcequecestnotreprojeeeet · 1 year

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Hello! It’s Winter! Have a great weekend! This is Part 1 . PG 13 (Part 2 is more riskyyy)

The Sexy Text - Part 1

He was sitting in his office listening to his advisors when his personal cell phone vibrated against the desk. Apologizing to his team, he flipped his phone over.

Emmanuel couldn’t help but smile when he saw the message from his wife. “Excuse me, gentlemen, I want to quickly read what my wife is saying."

The staff nodded before starting another conversation amongst themselves.

“Jesus!” Emmanuel exclaimed loudly, almost dropping his phone on the floor.

“Everything alright, Sir?” One advisor asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine," he assured as he quickly typed to his wife: "You can’t send me things like this! I’m in the middle of a meeting!"

Within seconds, she responded innocently, "Why? I wanted to show you my new swimsuit."

Emmanuel decided not to answer, instead focusing his attention on his staff, “I’m sorry, let’s continue”

The advisors looked cautiously at each other before the most senior ranking one garnered the courage to ask their boss if everything was alright.

“Your face is red," he pointed out. "Do you need some water? Is Madame Macron okay?”

He snapped back, “Yes, my wife is fine. Let’s focus on this, please. Where were we?”.

The discussion was interrupted once again when Emmanuel’s phone buzzed. He lowered his iPhone to his lap before opening his wife’s conversation. The picture was even riskier than the first one.

Her head wasn't visible, but he knew it was her. The black swimsuit was cut deep, all the way to her belly button, and her cleavage and stomach were on full display.

"Brigitte! You need to stop!", he scolded in his message to her.

Her next message came in quickly, with a promise that she’d behave.

Unfortunately, it was quickly followed by another picture. This time, still wearing the swimsuit, her legs were spread open in a seductive manner.

Emmanuel knew he’ll never be able to carry on with the meeting.

“I’m sorry, gentlemen," he apologized. "There’s an urgent matter that I need to discuss with my family.”

The staff stood up to leave, but unfortunately, Emmanuel found himself unable to walk them out due to the obvious bulge in his pants - courtesy of Brigitte.

On a mission to get to his wife as quickly as possible, he took the stairs to their private suite two at a time.

“Brigitte!”, he yelled before opening the door.

He found her sitting innocently on the couch watching a movie. She coyly looked at him, “I didn’t expect you back so soon, Cherie."

He slammed the door behind him, causing her to flinch from the surprise. She suppressed a smirk when he countered, “You know exactly why I’m here."

To be continued …..

Hellooo Winter! ❤️

Oh la la!!! I have a feeling that things are about to get very very hot... 🤭😏

Oh sneaky Brigitte with the sexy photos hahaha that’s definitely a one to get Emmanuel from the files/meetings 😂

But Emmanuel needs to do a better job next at hiding is excitement... 😛

Thank you so much, Winter! ❤️❤️❤️

#fanfic #winter

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dercolaris · 2 years

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A teaspoon of sugar

Just a very small story about Jervis and Commissioner Gordon. Sweet and simple I guess. Enjoy :)

"A little here, a little there. The work is almost done my dear." The tailor’s dexterous fingers danced across the elegant trench coat, patching the tattered and tell-tale holes in the clearly worn fabric. The owner of this good piece must have had the coat in his possession for several years, if not even decades. Jervis blindly searched for his magnifying glass and took a close look at his lovingly crafted work. The seams almost brought a smile at him - they had become so beautiful on the textile. The blond-haired man grinned from ear to ear and spoke softly to the trench coat: "Not that I wouldn't like you with all the holes you came in here a week ago, but I definitely like you better without them. What do you think of our client's new look, Mrs. Fluff?”

The orange tabby cat looked up from her basket, blinking her two-toned eyes tiredly. She now had a unique habit of not disturbing her owner unnecessarily during such intricate sewing work. The four-legged friend stretched herself when she got up and hopped across the dark parquet floor towards her owner, then jumped onto the table. Her little nose sniffed curiously at the patched fabric. Jervis gave the cat an affectionate scratch behind the ears and whispered tenderly: "You also think he’s beautiful, yes? I think we certainly agree on that, Mrs. Fluff. He looks amazing now, so he should be allowed to go back on the road.” The Mad Hatter stood up elatedly and shook the remains of the lose threads from the coat, then looked for a suitable clothing hanger.

The curious animal watched the little man with wary eyes, her tail slithering leisurely through the air. Jervis hung the trench coat on the clothes rack and slipped his hand into his pocket, fished out the antique pocket watch. "Oh dear, oh dear," he murmured softly to himself, "it's already tea time. I need to put on water urgently. Would you mind taking care of the tailoring until then, Mrs. Fluff? I would be very obliged to you and of course I will hurry.” The cat meowed at this question and sat down on the sales counter as a matter of course. The Mad Hatter smiled happily. His way led him to the apartment above his shop, where his colourfully decorated kettle was already waiting for him.

The blond-haired man crossed his arms over his chest and looked out at the street, while in the background the water gradually began to boil. It was a miracle that he was actually here now. Just three years ago, Jervis had been serving time in Arkham - multiple kidnappings, two fatalities included. At that thought, the man grew even smaller than usual. The judge had kindly given him a light sentence, presumably because his attorney had pleaded on insanity. The Mad Hatter straightened his top hat carefully. It was a welcome change that his madness didn't turn out to be his downfall, but in this case he had actually hoped for a higher judgment for himself. The blood of two young women was on his hands and no insanity could justify this violent act.

The whistle of the kettle made the little man smile again. His thoughts still wandered indiscriminately, pushing away the lurking darkness in his mind. The medication did the rest. After several years, Jervis was finally able to live his own life without many worries. Two years without a relapse was a new record. To keep the Mad Hatter's goodwill, Selina Kyle had given him one of her kittens, Mrs. Fluff. The smallest of the litter had been rejected by her mother and was looking for a safe, loving home. She found this with a gentle tailor who suddenly no longer seemed quite so crazy when accompanied by an animal. Mrs. Fluff had helped him heal mentally.

Jervis put the tea in a teapot and carefully carried the porcelain downstairs, greeted there by the stubborn smell of a certain cigar type. “Mr. Gordon, what a pleasure to see you again. I just made us a tea that should suit your taste. I hope you have a little more time today than last time.” The policeman seemed embarrassed at this remark. He rubbed his tense neck and replied apologetically: "Sometimes all hell breaks loose in Gotham, Jervis. Sorry. Hopefully I can enjoy the tea with you today.” This statement sparked a firework of happiness in the Mad Hatter.

Mrs. Fluff also seemed pleased that Gordon was there. She liked the Commissioner and was already snuggling between his legs, purring. The grey-haired man laughed amused and replied happily: "Excuse me, I didn’t want to forget you. Of course, the little cutie is also part of our tea party.” Jervis hurriedly set the table at the shop window and poured the wonderfully fragrant tea into both cups. The policeman took a seat across from him, sniffed the warm drink with his eyes closed. The Mad Hatter sipped cautiously at the scalding hot tea, then spoke softly: "The base is green tea. Add to that peach with sweet and creamy vanilla and you got a wonderful mixture for cold, rainy days like today.” The Commissioner nodded in understanding and took a small sip. He shuddered slightly at the delicately sweet taste. As Gordon put the cup down, he said appreciatively: "A fantastic mix. I'm always envious of the passion with which you recognize and tell the tea types apart by their taste, Jervis."

The Mad Hatter chuckled, cheeks slightly flushed. At that moment, Mrs. Fluff jumped onto the Commissioner's lap and began kneading his coat until it was soft enough for her liking. After a while, the cat curled up, purring, nuzzling her head against the older man's thigh. He smiled and tenderly scratched the animal's neck. He remarked calmly: "I've never really liked cats, but I'll definitely make an exception with Mrs. Fluff." Jervis stirred some sugar into the liquid, then dropped two more drops of lemon juice into the broth. The blond-haired man spoke with a smile: "Cats choose their favourite people, not the other way around. Feel honoured that Mrs. Fluff really loves you and can't wait to see you again."

Gordon smiled at this statement. He replied after a while: "Actually, there is no real reason to come visit you so often anymore. Your parole period has been over for more than two months, but how can I say no to a warm tea and a pleasant chat with a reintegrated citizen of Gotham City fares?” The Mad Hatter winced a little at this statement. The blond-haired man lowered the teacup and looked doubtfully at the Commissioner. After a few seconds, Jervis asked sheepishly: "You really think I'm no longer a threat to Gotham, Mr. Gordon?" The policeman laughed and answered honestly: “I've been watching you for a number of months now and your psychosis is clearly under control. You take your meds on time and go to all your important appointments by yourself – how could I doubt your rehabilitation?”

Jervis blushed even more at that statement. He grinned and laughed happily, then took a larger sip of the cooled tea. The Mad Hatter said proudly: "Out of your mouth it feels like an even greater success, Commissioner. Thank you." Both present drank their tea in peace, enjoying the harmony in the small tailor shop. Jim watched the little man for a while, then nodded to himself. Everyone deserved a second chance, and Jervis and Mrs. Fluff were proof of that.

#dc #batman #Commissioner Gordon #Jervis Tetch #mad hatter #jim gordon #mrs. fluff

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thessalian · 1 year

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Thess vs Attendance Issues

I have now discovered the one significant drawback of working from home, at least for me: when absolutely slammed, the temptation is there to just keep working.

Logged in this morning - first thing I see is that Scruffman is taking half-days. Okay, fine. I get logged into the remote desktop where the transcription software is and note that from the high double-digits on Friday, we’re at over 300 reports in the queue. So I’m sitting here going, “What the actual fuck?!?” So I check around other people’s queues. Temp is apparently not in. Goblin’s either not in or not typing (it could be either; she does have some other duties, hates the typing, and will tend to slack off when Scruffman’s away). Milady is doing the odd one or two bits of typing but with Scruffman away, she’s generally the one who takes on his tasks. And Violet (as in ‘shy’; best I can come up with for the quiet, elderly, somewhat fragile lady who also works in the department) ... again, either not in or not typing. So, whether people are away or just significantly slacking off ... it’s just me. By myself. The words “Oh FUCK” come to mind, because I have a horrible sinking feeling that Temp’s on annual leave or something...

Wait. Hang on. I can actually check in on other’s booked leave on our system.

Okay. Goblin was apparently in, so probably avoiding the typing like the plague as per usual, and getting away with it because no Scruffman. Temp should have been in (she was off on Monday). Violet should have been in, but again, she does have some other duties. But where was Temp? And this other person, the one who’s apparently been on maternity leave for, like, ever and is still listed as coming in four days a week - where is she? What the fuck, basically? Was Temp off sick? If so, why didn’t anyone tell me? Are we ever getting Mama Bear in working at all? Why was it only me typing today, for the most part? Should I be asking questions about this?

Point is that we’re going to be looking at a 400-odd typing queue tomorrow at this rate. I did my best, but there were a lot of exceptionally long complicated ones, one of which ... well, this individual jumps around a lot in terms of the dictation. See, it’s supposed to be information from the request form, then macroscopic report, then block key with number of samples per block. What he does is dictates a bit of the macro, then does the bit of the block key regarding that specific bit, then goes back to the macro and does the next bit, then the block key about that specific bit, for as many separate bits as there are ... and then, after all that, he only tacks on the number of samples per block at the very end. So I’m having to back and forth through the bit of dictation multiple times and it’s a mess. An absolute fucking mess. It also causes mess-ups like saying that it’s the end of the report and then pausing before going, “Oops, here’s the number of samples per block!” so that I end up missing it. Or like rushing through and accidentally forgetting a bit of block key. So you can see how that took up a lot of my time. Also I was having to focus the urgent cases because I have no idea when anyone is coming back to help me.

So yes, I am looking at my laptop, quietly panicking, and trying to tell myself not to put in another hour or two. No one asked me to. I did my best. It is not my fault that no one was available or willing to help me. All that would be doing is setting a bad precedent.

...But tomorrow’s going to be mental and Temp is still going to leave me all the long bullshit and she might not even be in tomorrow if she’s off sick so AAAAAAAAGH!

Right. I have to go out to the local pharmacy. Maybe the fact that I am of the ow will help reinforce that no, no, I really do not want to do overtime. Particularly since I wouldn’t be sure how to actually claim it to get paid. Overtime is bad; free overtime is worse.

#Thess has a day job #Thess works from home

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karenarella22 · 1 year

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First.

So, as the title says this is the first chapter of the story, hope you guys like it, if there's any grammar mistakes you let me now.

***

I wake up shaken, the telephone ringing in the air breaking the deathly silence that reigned in the room. I turn around looking for the cedar wood wall clock, which my mother inherited from my grandmother after she died of old age. Its gold-colored hands mark 8:30 am; With suspicion I look for the infernal device that acts as my alarm clock and I answer the incoming call that will surely disturb my good day.

-Hello, good morning...yes sir, send me the address please, I'll be there in a few minutes- I end the conversation snorting because of the shivering that the morning cold produces on my body and the total lack of caffeine. After so many years I understood that my addiction to caffeine was nothing more than the urgent need not to sleep. Lazily but in a hurry I move my anatomy around the house preparing myself for another workday full of stress and the occasional stupid comments from the Neanderthals of my colleagues, I put the coffee pot on while I get dressed, a pair of tight jeans to the body, a thermal shirt and the leather jacket with synthetic fur that does not let any cold bother me.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and climb into the 2016 Mercedes-Benz the boss gave me when I graduated as a detective. The road at this time of the morning is crowded with people who, with the minutes counted, go to their respective jobs and those who no longer have the luxury of time, run trying to reach them by any means possible.

I turn the corner at the intersection of Manson and Richmond. A picturesque avenue, which functioned as the main avenue in the early days of the town, it gradually lost its charm as the industrial revolution took the good life elsewhere, so it remained little traveled, on the outskirts of the city and from which the operator received the distress call from our officers.

It is easy for me to find the beautiful mansion at the end of the block which is the location of our new crime scene. Not only the situation but also the weather is gloomy, last night's storm that came without warning hit the city mercilessly, the temperature managed to reach 6 degrees below zero, freezing pipes and causing more than one accident.

I turn off the engine seeing the large two story-house. The pale pink paint mixed with the white finishes that covers it has worn over time, but the facade still retains the splendor it once had in the last century.

I get out of the car with a glass of coffee in hand and walk towards the place, I observe some neighbors gather next to the police tape that goes from one side of the house to the other, the murmur of their conversations and even the occasional sob can be heard so far. I look back at the mansion where a handful of policemen come and go, each one on his job but all with the same stunned expression.

-Aeryne, you're finally here- Dylan approaches, state police detective, fellow force considering that we graduated at the same time that June 2016. He makes a gesture with his hand from afar for me to follow him and so I do up the rungs of the worn porch stairs. Detective Dylan Carter is a 36-year-old man, six feet tall, stocky, very handsome to tell the truth, he was married and has a teenage daughter, Julia, 15 years old- we have already notified the family, the parents must be coming back any minute- he snaps me out of my thoughts with the comment.

-Any witnesses?-I feel a shiver run down my spine, I thought that when I entered the house cold would subside a little but the place feels even colder than the outside.

-No, her mother called 911 because she hadn't come to work and didn't answer her phone, then she came here but didn't find her. When the officers discover the body they sent her home with her husband- he guides me through the corridors, not very wide for this type of house, they are decorated with paintings with abstract styles by different authors.

We arrived at the main room, by protocol to protect the crime scene or any evidence in it I put on white latex gloves and a light blue mask provided by the crime scene investigation body at the house.

-What happened here?-

-30-year-old woman, with a cross cut from left to right in the throat that reached the bone, presumably she was asleep when she was attacked-

-Where's the other victim? - I interrupt his story, scanning the room.

- What other victim? – He asks confused.

-Clearly she sleeps on the left side, when we sleep we unconsciously tend to move to the place that is most comfortable for us, hers is the left, someone slept on the right side, they would never occupy two pillows at night- I point to the place of the bed- Did she had a boyfriend or husband? - I comment still in my thoughts.

-She had a boyfriend, we haven't found him yet, and I already sent two officers to his work- I nod, letting him understand that I heard him while I take the notebook out of my pocket.

Victim in an unnatural position (arms above head, legs crossed, mouth glued together, genitalia removed.

-Aeryne- Cadet Brooks calls my attention- the victim's parents are ready to give their statement-

-Don't let them come in, I don't want them to contaminate the little clean scene that remains in this house- I keep the notebook in the right pocket of the leather jacket. I see Diana's corpse for the last time, the forensic doctor wraps her in her own sheets and along with all the evidence she is laid on the stretcher to be transported to the morgue.

#detectives #female protagonist #female writers #dark novel #police #young adult

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igixri · 3 years

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destroy...everything, big sister

this is a meta/recap post about the (affectionately dubbed) kill zenin arc (chp 138 + 148-152) of jjk, written mostly because I wanted to type it all up to make sense of to myself: maki and mai’s characterization in this arc, the motivations of their mother, and the death of zenin naoya.

also because im sick of searching for the same 20 images every day to post about them so im gonna put them all in one post for easy chronological reference ^_^ this arc destroyed my life i literally can’t stop thinking about them

although perfect preparation arc starts proper on chapter 148, I think that chp 138 is the true beginning, especially because that means that the arc begins with maki and mai’s mother:

or, well, not really. even though she’s a part of this conversation, she isn’t shown speaking or even opening her mouth at all. it’s kind of hard to tell who’s speaking when because of this, but naoya seems to be the one that’s asking the question “is she dead? that girl mai” and maki’s mom is the one that’s responding with “worry about the head of the clan...” etc. This is kind of interesting, because the panelling almost tricks you into thinking at first that maki’s mom is the one asking “is she dead?”, but naoya having the last word on the second page (and also the fact that he starts going on about the two cousins right after this) most likely means that he’s the one who’s actually asking. during this, her very first appearance in the series, we have no idea who she is, and we don’t learn until much later on. but knowing what we know now, which is that this woman is mai and maki’s mother, it’s a callous bait and switch; she’s not even the one that’s asking about mai, and she’s the one saying that “the one who’s dying is maki”, without even a tremor in her face to indicate that this upsets her at all.

going back to read this section after seeing what happens to her makes you think about what her real feelings were on this predicament. one of her daughters is about to be killed and the other one might already be dead, what could possibly be going through her mind at that moment?

again, we see that maki’s mom has nothing to say, even though naoya says basically the most inflammatory things imaginable. we start the arc knowing nothing, not about who this woman is or how she feels, or why she is enduring these words from naoya instead of speaking out against it. it’s the perfect introduction to the conservative nature of clans in the jujutsu world: misogyny, incest, apathy, and arrogance all at once.

also making a note of naoya’s words here, “any woman who can’t walk three steps behind a man should get stabbed in the back and die,” for obvious reasons. this is the kind of line where you read it and you’re like, ok so that’s totally gonna be how he dies, right

some more interesting notes for this chapter:

naoya namedropping toji with such confidence here. like, the black sheep of the zenin clan? is who you’re stanning? toji should be someone that zenin naoya hates, someone so pathetic as to not have a cursed technique and to have abandoned the clan and the family. yet naoya loves sucking his dick. we’ll elaborate on this later

putting this here because when i first read it i thought it was a fucking joke. like at this point i know that it’s because gojo basically had custody over megumi, who wouldve been guaranteed heir because he inherited the ten shadows technique. glad i could get that cleared up (for myself)

and then the rest of the chapter finishes of with yuki tsukumo(!) and choso and yuuji talking. when this arc starts, you barely have any of the puzzle pieces. you’re dropped right in the thick of the zenin succession, and you’ll get to learn the backstories/motivations of characters out of chronological order. pretty standard way to build suspense as far as manga writing goes, but i feel like since naoya and naobito’s cursed techniques rely on timing, fucking with the order of events makes them hit harder.

we return to the zenin plotline at chapter 148, after naoya and choso’s fight (i feel like i don’t have to talk about it that much, it’s pretty obvious the parallels being drawn there with choso’s singleminded devotion to his siblings vs naoya’s “fuck family, as long as im sitting on top” attitude) and yuuji&co’s meeting with tengen. again here is a toji stannie moment

of course, naoya loses this fight, and has to be bailed out by yuta

pathetic bitch

anyways, chapter 148: starting with a cover image of mai and maki twisted up together in the womb. we’ll come back to twins and their relevance in japanese/jujutsu society later, but for now let me just say that when i saw this panel first i hadnt read jjk yet and i was like WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS MANGA LOL...now every time i think about this image i get dangerously close to tears. what shonen manga does to a mf

here’s the first words that we see maki’s mother say to someone directly. i’d like to note that at this point, she knows that entering the cursed warehouse is a trap for maki that will lead to her death. she starts off with a polite tone,

but then she snaps. close up of the mouth and everything -- we see that the woman that has stayed so silent when her own daughters were being badmouthed and mistreated by her family can only raise her voice to add onto the abuse. again her motivations are unclear--we’ll spend the whole arc wondering what the difference is between what she says and what she thinks--but these words seem to imply that she’s given up. it can be extrapolated from maki and mai’s treatment in the family that their mother must’ve also been on the receiving end of this abuse. after all, she was probably groomed to grow up into this role, and been told that her only role in the clan was to produce a strong heir as to make her husband proud. on some level, she probably knows that the clan is in the wrong, but in this moment she lashes out at maki anyways. she chooses to blame maki for not following the rules than the people who made the rules unfair to begin with because maki is someone she can control, or at least somewho who she thinks that she should be able to control.

not to mention! this is the reveal where we as the reader find out that she’s maki and mai’s mother, which lets us go back and recontextualize those earlier scenes. it’s a good buildup.

here’s where we start delving more into mai and maki’s relationship. to recap, their interactions as of this chapter have only been during the tournament arc, where they had their chance to hash out their differences but didn’t really resolve anything in the end.

what this chapter (42, for reference) told us was that mai was just straight up lying during the entire tournament arc. she can repeat over and over again that she hates maki, but it’s painfully clear that she loves her and misses her. this is what mai wants to tell maki:

the abuses of the zenin clan, the misogyny and being looked down upon by their own parents and the rest of their family, all of that mai could’ve endured, if only maki hadn’t left her. in this respect, she’s following a similar path to her mother: just keep your mouth shut and live a “normal life”, ignoring the fact that normal in this situation would be rejecting her freedom and autonomy. mai believed in the promise that the maki that held her hand and led her across the bridge made to her: that no matter how difficult the road ahead, she wouldn’t be left behind.

the goodwill event ends with mai being unable to get through to maki, and she even shamefully loses the fight on top of it all. she’s left behind by maki yet again, and that’s where we leave her until chp 148.

on the other side, maki:

when maki chose to leave the zenin clan, she also chose to leave mai behind. she chose to flee her abusive household and cut ties entirely, and this meant that she couldn’t take her sister with her either. i believe that maki saw this as her way of protecting mai; she is the one with the heavenly restriction and the lack of cursed energy, she’ll bear the repercussions of leaving while mai stays “safe” at home and has a “normal” life.

maki believes that distancing herself from the family will protect mai and save herself. mai believes that staying together with protect maki and save herself.

where this leaves maki in the start of perfect preparation is still trying to progress down the path that she chose: get stronger, and then you can come back and destroy the clan and free mai.

we think her arc is clear-cut like this, it’s a shonen after all. we’re excited to see the progression of maki growing stronger and triumphantly returning to beat everyone else and become the clan head.

but this never gets to happen because maki’s viewpoint is wrong.

it’s not wrong in a way where you can blame her for choosing it, but it’s wrong in the way where her approach could never get her her happy ending: there’s no way that the zenins would accept her as the clan head no matter how strong she became, and there’s no way that mai would be completely satisfied with maki abandoning her for years, even if it was to save her in the end. now, all of this becomes frighteningly clear:

i’m not going to get that deep into the motivations of zenin ogi here, mostly because they’re pretty clear-cut:

he embodies the zenin clan tenets of tradition, abuse, and power. he can freely murder his own children because he believes that he’s in the right.

(you’ll forgive me for just straight up putting the next three pages in this post)

mai transports maki to her beach mind palace. it’s unclear how she does this, exactly--i think it’s her innate domain? she’s literally speedrunning her technique development rn. this is one of my favorite tropes of all time (parlay at the ocean mind palace!) and i literally cannot believe they did this with mai and maki i am screaming crying and throwing up

also i want to mention here that there are two toji references already -- the cursed spirit training room is probably the same one that he was thrown into as a child, and the last time there was a fight on a beach in jjk was when toji’s reanimated corpse was breaking into dagon’s domain.

mai’s line here, “i suspected this would happen someday”, means that she’s been planning this for a long time. her previous attitude was “lashing out because i want maki to return to the family”, but she always knew that this was fatalistic. just like maki was wrong, mai was also wrong. she knew that she could never get back the maki from her childhood, and continuing to chase after her, even becoming a jujutsu sorcerer for it, wouldn’t help. mai didn’t do anything wrong in the eyes of the zenin clan, she followed the rules and her cursed technique, although not powerful, was at least less of a stain on the reputation of the clan. yet she was slated to be killed anyways -- there was never any hope for her “normal life”, and she knew this, which is why she thought up this contingency plan. she accepts her death here so readily because of this, and it’s not cathartic or fulfilling in terms of her character arc at all. i was expecting to see maki and mai’s relationship develop over the course of the series, but this is cruelly subverted in a way that makes perfect sense for how jujutsu society and maki+mai’s attitudes towards life have been set up.

maki, of course, can’t accept this; she’s been running blindly towards the ending that she wanted for so long that she couldn’t have noticed her mistakes in doing so.

twins are seen as a bad omen in japanese culture, and a standard practice for many years was to kill one of the twins shortly after they were born, to “send back” the spirit so that it could return again.

what’s interesting here is that what mai’s saying is correct: the way that twins work in jjk apparently is that their cursed energy is treated as one. the conclusion that mai draws from this is that for maki to develop, mai is going to have to die. you, who probably doesn’t want mai to die, can envision another situation where maki and mai work together to overcome this cursed energy restriction, and their character arc progresses in that way. however...that isn’t...what happens...literally what do you mean the power of friendship is not gonna get us through this one...

however, her unwillingness and disinterest in progressing is not condemned, either. she gets to stick to her values to the very end, and she even gets to develop as a character as a result: instead of resenting maki for putting her in this position (something that her mother, whose mentality that she partially adopted, continues to do), she gives up her life on her own terms to give maki a chance at achieving her freedom.

what mai hands maki is a reed. the title of the arc, perfect preparation, or 葦を啣む, refers to the idiom “a goose holding reeds in its mouth”, which means to be well-prepared for something. geese crossing the ocean as they migrate will hold reeds in their mouth so that they can drop it into the water and land on it to take a break as they cross. maki has migrated home and mai is giving her the reed so that she can finish the journey. mai doesn’t need it anymore -- she’s never going back.

there’s a theory here that mai cursed maki with these last words, but i don’t know if i buy it. mai doesn’t seem like she has any regrets with her decision, with her and her sister regressing back to their child selves in her mind’s eye, the time when she was happiest. however, there is definitely the possibility that this was a curse, because well. love is the most twisted curse of them all...her final words to maki are “destroy everything”, and her final action is to create the weapon to let her do that. also! she finally calls maki big sister 🥺

and with the last of her energy, mai uses her cursed technique to create a sword for maki, then dies. this is, notably, very similar to toji fushiguro’s 500 million yen sword that he wields during hidden inventory, as if gege couldn’t hammer in the point enough. i do like the implication here though -- mai went and studied this on her own time to be able to do this for maki before she died. also, them lying in fetal position here...it hurts...

it’s a solid sendoff for mai, and a very shocking one. before this, there were sorcerer causalities during shibuya arc, so the fact that another one dies now is not entirely unprecendented. however, it hurts in that it was more “preventable” than the other two: mechamaru was a traitor and nanami had put his life on the line knowing the risks, but mai had been essentially kidnapped and brutalized while the camera wasn’t focusing on her. it’s unexpected, but it makes sense.

all of these panels have been talked about to death so i don’t think im saying anything new here, but i love talking about them so im going to do it anyways

maki continues to directly parallel toji here, something that she’s been doing from the beginning; she abandoned mai for a similar reason that toji abandoned megumi and tried to keep him away from jujutsu society. toji chose to leave the zenins entirely, but after mai dies and takes the “half” of the cursed energy that maki had left on earth, maki finally gets to use the power of the heavenly restriction to end the clan once and for all.

this is a #girlboss moment and a win for feminism but it is not a positive character development moment for maki. maki has essentially decided to spiral and has given up on her previous goal of becoming the head of the clan and making a space where she can protect people like mai. instead, she’s decided that she’ll end it all entirely, by murdering every last one of her family members, starting with her own father. only after mai dies does maki come to understand why mai wanted to “fall down the hole” with her, but she also now has to accept that this is an impossibility for her now.

this line kills me EVERY SINGLE TIME...mai really was her heart. maki understands this in the end, but like the ones that have come before her, the tradeoff for her newfound strength is the inability to protect someone she cared about.

now, finally, naoya’s obsession with toji fushiguro is elaborated upon. it seems that he had been impressed with toji from a young age, after having been impressed upon him by everyone in the clan that he was blessed, he was next in line to be the head, that the other family members were all inferior to him, those without cursed energy especially. naoya never once questions this structure, because it puts him at the top. his obsession with toji is seemingly contradictory to this, but it ends up highlighting the very real hypocrisy that can arise from such conservative and oppressive worldviews.

naoya holds his other relatives to the standards of toji, who he considers “true strength”. even though toji had no cursed energy, he was still a man, and one who could beat the other members of the zenin clan even without a technique of his own. toji is essentially who maki was striving to be since the beginning, someone strong enough to strike fear into the hearts of those that had looked down upon her, and someone who had left the clan to forge his own path without regrets. toji is allowed to be an exception in naoya’s eyes because although he left the clan, he didn’t question the structure to the point of wanting to destroy it, like maki does. toji abandoned the clan and everyone else who was suffering inside it, and that allows naoya to freely respect him regardless.

although he holds himself up to the same standards as gojo and toji, it’s clear from the fact that they’re facing away from him in the panel that he is nowhere near their level--

which, of course, leads to him being soundly beaten by maki seconds later.

why does maki leave naoya alive before she leaves? this is the question that i wanted to answer by writing this post. maki had not been showing mercy before this (her heart was taken from her), and there’s no chance that she would extend mercy now, especially not to her awful cousin who beat her up, bullied her, and sexually objectified her and her sister. this leaves the conclusion that maki wanted naoya to die, but specifically at the hands of her mother, someone who has been traililng three feet behind naoya since the beginning of this arc.

maki goes to visit her mother, and she asks “why did you ask me to come back?” her mother doesn’t seem to understand this question, but maki is referring to the moment before she entered the weapons storage earlier. her mother knew that it would be a trap, and that her father was there, waiting to kill her and mai. maki knows painfully well the extent to which her own mother has been complicit in her and her sister’s abuse, and she asks this question now because she wants to know if her mother cared about her at all, in the end, even if she never spoke out to protect her. even so, it’s unforgivable -- she must’ve had a part in both capturing mai and luring maki to the weapons storage, and she did nothing to prevent the deaths of her children.

we aren’t explicitly shown that maki slit her mother’s throat, but it’s pretty clear that that’s what happened, given that her mother was begging for her life, and also the direction of the blood splatter (lol). destroy everything means everything, after all

after this, maki’s mother goes and deals the final blow to zenin naoya. i have to believe that this was maki’s intention in letting them both survive for long enough so that this could happen -- maybe a final chance at redemption for her mother? a sick acknowledgement that they were all in the hole together, and that if mai and maki were free now, she could be as well?

as this arc starts with maki and mai’s mother, so it gets to end with her. finally, we get to know her unvoiced true feelings: she dies happy that she gave birth to her daughters. she doesn’t have a change of heart, where she loves maki not because she destroyed the system that chained her, but simply because she was her daughter. her last action is one she makes out of her free will, ending the zenin clan completely.

#jjk #zenin maki #zenin mai #quoth the raven #yes i took the time to type this up when i have two very urgent things due tomorrow. dont worry about it #this post is 3.6k words long and image heavy

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loopy-froots · 3 years

Text

Childhood Friends

Brahms Heelshire x afab!Reader

Author: @loopy-froots

Word Count: 3261 (WOW wtf…)

Slight request by @leahromanof : small age gap (Brahms is 26-28 and the reader is 20)

Summary: The Reader grew up very close to the Heelshire family, as their parents were business partners with them. However, after the fire incident, Brahms and the Reader took some space from each other. While the Reader knew Brahms was still alive, they didn’t know under the circumstances he was. When a sudden tragedy strikes their family, the Reader is left with no home. The Heelshire family offer their home with welcoming arms, but much has changed between all of them since they have last seen each other.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, swearing, slasher x reader, smut, virgin/unprotected sex (masc and fem), abusive parents (fem), insecurities (on both parts), slight age gap (6ish years?), a slight size kink (if you squint?), etc.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t too sure what to write for the age gap so I hope this is good enough!!! I also threw in a lot of personal needs I’ve been having, so I hope y’all don’t mind! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!!

~~~

*2nd Person POV*

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were finally going to see your beloved childhood friend, Brahms Heelshire, again after close to ten years of separation. You wished this was not under these circumstances, as you never intended to cause your family such turmoil.

“Y/n! Come in, why don’t you?” Mr. Heelshire exclaims as he opens his front door. He must have seen you walk up their driveway. You can see Mrs. Heelshire inside, but she shares a concerning expression. Trying to brush it off, you step inside and am greeted by the warmth of the house. It was a terribly chilly winter day, and the walk there exhausted you.

“Come, dear! Let me get you a cup of tea to warm you up! You look rather frozen!” Mrs. Heelshire snaps out of her funk and laughs al0ng with her husband. Their jovial attitude makes you feel rather welcomed and loved.

“I cannot thank you enough, Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire… I… I’m terribly sorry that this all happened… especially so suddenly…” You look down with embarrassment.

“Nonsense! We’re always happy to have you, Y/n! Our home is yours!” Mr. Heelshire smiles at you, but you get a somewhat urgent vibe from him. You’re not sure how to feel about it, but you figure since they’re being ever so kind you were in no position to question.

“Now, dear… why don’t you tell us exactly what happened… Perhaps we may help with your parents’ situation?” Mrs. Heelshire gently suggests, but you shake your head in disagreement.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s possible… you see, I recently came out to my parents as non-binary… they’ve never been overly supportive of that kind of stuff, but I knew I couldn’t hide myself any longer…” You explain shamefully.

“Oh my… that is a rather difficult predicament, hm? However, we want you to know that we fully support you… in fact, our own Brahms considers himself genderfluid,” Mrs. Heelshire shares, which honestly makes you feel less alone.

“Really? I… I had no idea… Thank you, but speaking of which… where is Brahms…? Does he still live with you?” You wonder.

“Oh, um… yes… he does, but he’s grown to be rather… timid… so he doesn’t always come out when people are visiting…” Mr. Heelshire explains swiftly, and you try to understand. You don’t fully know what he’s been through, so who are you to judge his social anxieties?

“That’s alright. Well, I just hope he knows how excited I am to see him again…” You confess, causing a surprised reaction from the Heelshire couple.

“Really? Well, that’s certainly wonderful! I’m sure he'll become more open to meeting you after he gets used to you being in the house…” Mrs. Heelshire states with a gentle smile, and you nod your head in agreement.

With that, you are then taken on a tour of the house. You’re shown areas you can and cannot wander to, and you mentally note each location that’s off limits. You’d never want to make the Heelshires uncomfortable, despite how curious you were. They show you to your room, which you immediately recognize as Brahms’ childhood room.

“Oh wow! This looks exactly how I remembered it!” You giggle.

“I’m glad you’re fond of it still, as Brahms insisted you take his room for your own… comfort…” Mr. Heelshire shares, but something tells you he’s not entirely being honest. However, you ignore the feeling bubbling up in your stomach.

“Well, feel free to unpack your things dear. As we mentioned before, we are planning on going on a trip within the next few days. So it will be just you and Brahms for a while…” Mrs. Heelshire reminds you, and you shiver slightly for some reason.

“Oh, yes… Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it!” You politely respond.

~~~

“Goodbye, dear! And remember, follow the rules and you’ll get no trouble from our dear Brahms!” The Heelshires bid you farewell and leave in their cab. Closing the door, you sigh in relief.

“Alright, follow the rules… I can do that… it’s the least I can do since they were so kind as to let me stay for a while…” You motivate yourself.

“Y/n…” A sudden familiar, childlike voice echoes through the house. You looked around to see who it came from, but you saw no one. It had to be Brahms, right? Who else could it have been, but where was he?

“B-Brahms?” You sheepishly call out. You hear no answer and suddenly feel quite stupid. Maybe you just heard the shifting of the house or imagined someone was calling your name?

“Alright, focus… first things first, making some lunch… hopefully he’ll come down to eat with me…?” You hope. You could’ve sworn you heard another childish giggle somewhere, but you try to shake the skittish feeling building up. You quickly make whatever you feel like for lunch, desperate to finish so that you can call Brahms down to eat.

“Um, Brahms? I… lunch is done… if you want some?” You yell throughout the house, but you hear no answer. Finally feeling defeat, you turn back to the kitchen and notice that one of the plates of food has disappeared.

“How did he get to it without me noticing?” You ask out loud. Every instinct within you tells you that something was wrong, but you tried your best to give the man some time to adjust to the new living situation.

“Y/n…?” In the middle of eating, you hear a now more adult version of the voice you heard earlier. You drop your fork in surprise and frantically look around for the source. You then see a tall and scruffy looking man standing at the end of the dining room. He was holding the plate that is now empty, and you figure that must be Brahms. He was very odd looking, in all honesty. He wore a porcelain mask that resembles the type of little dollies you used to keep as a kid.

“Oh, um… h-hello, Brahms…?” You try to be friendly towards him, despite the creepy feeling you got from him already. However, him not answering causes the suspicion to form again.

“Um… did you enjoy the meal I made for you?” You try to spark a conversation, but Brahms nonverbally nods in response.

“That’s good! I’m… glad…” You smile awkwardly at him, but his masked face remains expressionless. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and Brahms notices the tense state you’re in. He begins to step closer to you, and sets his plate on the table. Sweating profusely, you wonder what he’s doing. He steps closer and closer to you until he’s directly in front of you. While you sit, he towers over you. You’d never admit it, but he’s very intimidating. However, you try your best to be polite.

“Is… everything alright, Brahms?” You ask innocently. He just stares at you, though, never saying a word. When you were about to get up and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and pulls you into him.

“B-Brahms…?!” You exclaim as he squeezes you in his broad arms. He’s rather warm, but trembling. Your heart relaxes when you realize he only wanted a hug.

“Y/n… nice to see you again…” He finally peeps out. Your cheeks heat up, but you lean into the embrace. The two of you just hold onto each other for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Good to see you, too! I was worried you were upset with me for coming back after such a long time…” You try to pull away and look him in the eyes, but his grip keeps you there.

“Mm, no… not upset… lonely…” He breathes into your ear, sending a chill down your back. He was… lonely? That makes you feel bad… really bad… how could you leave him like you did after the incident?! It wasn’t completely your fault, as you parents were the main reason you stayed away. They told you what a dangerous person Brahms was, and they forbid you from being influenced by him in any way.

Additionally, your parents never liked how fond the two of you seemed towards each other, despite the slight age difference you had. Brahms was only six years older, and to you it didn’t matter for terms of friendship. However, your parents saw the attraction Brahms had towards you right away. As children, it only developed into a little crush, but the older the two of you got the more obvious it became, to the adults at least. You seemed quite oblivious to his attempts to woo you, as you had just thought he was being friendly.

“I…I’m sorry, Brahms… I should’ve… I wish I’d have… I’m sorry…” Tear well in your eyes as you look down from his gaze. Your focus then shifts to the ever growing bulge in his pants that you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s alright… happy you’re here now…” Brahms strokes your hair with his free hand, and he leans into you. You feel him stroke your neck with his nose, seemingly trying to get a reaction out of you. Completely frozen, you felt unsure of what to do. All of the sudden, your head’s ideas clicked and made you realize the years of yearning he’d been doing for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still have feelings for the boy you grew up with. You always admired how protective he was of you. You never admitted your affection towards him, though, as you thought he might react negatively. To you, the age difference acted as a barrier, but to him, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest. All he’s ever known was his love for you, despite the age gap. However, is this still the same boy as before? You probably barely knew him anymore. Then why were you getting so flustered over this simple interaction?

“Brahms?” You look back into his eyes with a curious glint. What was he planning with you?

“Hm?” He nonchalantly answers.

“Are you…?” You start, but then feel too embarrassed to finish.

“Yes,” He agrees without needing you to explain. You feel him jerk his hips into your stomach softly, desperate to get some friction between the two of you. As intoxicating as he was being, you still felt unsure of your stance with him.

“I’m not sure I want to… I mean, this is so soon… don’t you think?” You try to reason mainly with yourself to try and stop this from happening. With that, Brahms stops and pulls away from you with a pout.

“No?” He questions with sweet eyes.

“I… yes…?” You try to stand your ground with yourself again, but it’s no use. Brahms’ heartfelt pleading turns you to putty in his hands.

“Please?” He begs. With that, you finally agree, and he’s onto you. Groping all up and down your sides, front, and back, he feels every inch of your body as if he’s desperate to find something in you.

“Brahms… wait…?” You stop him again, realizing you hadn’t seen his actual face yet. You politely ask him to remove his mask, but he visibly slumps.

“Why…? You… don’t want to see me…” Brahms insecurely explains, but you shake your head.

“I do! Please…?” You whine as he continues to feel up your back. Brahms hesitates slightly, then agrees. With that, he slowly removes the porcelain from himself. This leaves his bare, burnt, and uncertain face into your view. You’re unsure of what to say at first, as your feelings are conflicted. However, you quickly decide to go with what your heart felt.

“You’re so handsome, Brahms…” You confess with a sheepish smile. He doesn’t respond, though, almost as if he’s debating what to say as well.

“Mm!” You moan through a sudden kiss he placed on your lips, making Brahms smile to himself in the kiss. He loved the way you reacted to his touch. He quickly realized you were feeling the same towards him, and that gave him the confidence to continue. You rapidly grew a certain heat in your pelvic area, but the feeling was still unfamiliar to you. Only on the rare occasion did you allow yourself the pleasure, but you felt guilty for it every time.

“Slut… whore… useless daughter…” Your parents’ past words radiate in your head, and a panic washes over your body. Brahms senses your inner conflict again, and stops once more.

“Y/n…?” He gently asks to see if you’re alright. Tears well up in your eyes as the guilt of disappointing your parents consumes you.

“I’m sorry, I just… my mom and dad would be so upset… I just feel so… lost…” You admit, and Brahms wipes your cheeks with his calloused hands.

“Mm, screw them…” He chuckles darkly.

“But…” You try to argue, but he shushes you instead.

“They’ve never been good to you, Y/n…” Brahms shares, and it confuses you at first. They’ve always given you food, shelter, and anything else a child would need.

“But they… they mean well…” You try to reason it out, but he still disagrees.

“I’ve been watching, listening to how they treat you your whole life, Y/n… the way they scream at you, gaslight you, disappoint you… that’s not love… that’s abuse…” Brahms whispers with a broken heart for you. The pain of realization hits you, but you try to muffle your cries with your hands over your mouth.

“I’m so sorry… I know how hard it is… but I… I want to love you… really love you…” He kisses the top of your head sweetly. His words fill your heart with hope that you might not be miserable the rest of your life.

“Really…? I mean, I would love that… but I don’t want to force you into anything…” You self doubt yourself.

“Absolutely. I mean, hell… why do you think I was doing all of this?” Brahms wonders, and you suppose he’s right.

“Yeah, true… I’m sorry, I just feel bad… but thank you, I’d love to… y’know…?” You admit with a shy grin, which he immediately returns.

“Good,” He smirks and kisses you again. This time, the kiss was much more desperate for the sweet result. Brahms shows no mercy for you this time as he begins biting your lips. Your little gasps invoke a strong sense of pride within him. He was making you feel this way, and he alone would make you feel good.

“Hm,” His deep voice rumbles in his chest. Your eyes flutter open and shut, unsure of how to go about this situation. Squirming around awkwardly, you then feel Brahms grab your waist as he lifts you up and onto the table.

“Ah! Brahms...?!” You yelp in surprise.

“Take off your shirt, Y/n.” He demands, already sliding his hands underneath. You timidly follow his instructions, removing your shirt and bra from your body. Brahms looks down from your face and onto your breasts. He adored them, so he ran his hands over them as he gave each nipple a cheeky pinch.

“Oh, Brahms…” Your eyes close in bliss, but he snaps your attention back to his eyes.

“Look at me,” He suggests sternly.

“O-okay…” You do as he wishes and stare deep into his icy eyes. He’s tender and gentle, but he still makes you feel so small next to him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/n… I’ve always loved you…” Brahms brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face, giving him a better view at your beauty.

“I have loved you for the longest time, too, Brahms… I just never knew how to tell you…” You try your best to express your feelings, but your past experience with doing so has never been easy for you. Each emotion you shared ended in an argument with your parents.

“I’m so glad… please…” Brahms pleads, leaning his forehead against yours. He didn’t have to finish for you to understand what he wanted.

“C’mere…” Your sudden burst of trust hits the two of you like a train. Brahms roughly attacks your neck with his lips and teeth, nipping at all your sensitive areas. Exploring each and every inch, he scopes out which areas you like best.

“Mm, Y/n…” He whimpers, rubbing his needy cock against your body. You had neglected it for far too long, and you wanted to give it some love too.

Lowering your hand down to his member, you stroke him through his pants. Pre-cum leaks from his tip and soaks through his underwear slightly. His moans fill your ears with sweet misery. The lack of being inside of you was killing him, but he wanted to take things slow for you.

“Ah, Y/n…! Please! I’ll be a good boy!” He begs you to allow him entrance, and you agree. Instantaneously, he pulls his clothes off and prepares his painfully hard cock to slide into you.

“Oh! You feel… so tight…!” He didn’t tell you, but this was his first time as well. The first feeling of being inside of someone, especially when that someone is you, was the best feeling he’s ever felt. He couldn’t help himself but pump in and out of you. He tried his best to go slow, but his selfish excitement got the better of him. However, you were far from upset by this.

“Ah! D-don’t… stop…!” You plead with him, and he obliges. Slapping his body into yours in a rhythmic motion causes you to quickly feel that coil in your stomach tighten around him.

“F-fuck…! You’re gonna make me…!” As quickly as it started, your love making ended. The two of you came together simultaneously, and everything felt perfect to you. However, Brahms felt a wave of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry… I wish I had lasted longer… and I shouldn’t have pressured you into this…” He goes on and on about all the things he could’ve done better, but you then stop him with a chaste peck on his lips.

“You were perfect. Thank you,” You lovingly look into his eyes. He searches for any sort of regret, but when he finds none he settles into your arms.

~~~

MY REQUESTS FOR DRAWING AND WRITING ARE STILL OPEN!! FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ASK/MESSAGE WITH YOUR IDEA!!

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kiridarling · 3 years

Text

𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓.

— 3.0k words

eijirou kirishima | hard dom + dubcon jic + f!reader + exhibitonism + face-fucking + dumbification + car sex + more! minors dni.

"Made me come all this way...it’d be a pity if I didn't get somethin' out of it."

"No, no, no, no, no—c'mon," you cry as your car engine spits and sputters to a stop in the road, coughing like an old man with asthma before it's dead for good. Jamming your heel on the gas pedal, you twist your key in the ignition, but there's no use. You're fucking stuck.

You sigh, before slamming your forehead against the steering wheel. It's hard enough to sting, and the blaring horn startles all unsuspecting birds in a five-mile radius, but you could care less. Stuck in the middle of the woods at one in the morning, AAA membership-less with nothing but the clothes on your back and the vehicle you came with. Short cuts are a fucking myth.

Mina's the only person you can think of calling—because frankly, she's the only one who'd know a mechanic who could help at this time of night if one exists. Which you doubt. Severely.

"[Y/N]?" Mina answers, semi-urgently. You wonder if you startled her out of a good sleep, but knowing the night owl, her evening is just beginning. "What's up?"

"I'm fucking stuck in the middle of nowhere," you groan, banging your head against the back of the seat though you know she can't see you. "Car's not working."

"Oh no," she coos, and her pity is useless. "Do you have AAA?"

"No. Do you have a mechanic?"

"A mechanic...at one am? I don—wait," she interrupts before you hear something akin to rustling sheets. "I might have a friend who could help! But don't get your hopes up girlie, he's a heavy sleeper."

You shrug, shaking your head. "At this point, I'm desperate."

"Alrighty!" Mina confirms, and now all you can do is fucking hope her friend pulls through. "I'll give him a quick buzz and then send his number over, sound good?"

"Sounds perfect," you breathe, relaxing (somewhat) with your chin against the steering wheel. "Thanks, girl."

"Of course!" she cheers, and you wonder how someone could have so much energy at this time of night. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," you snort. "I might need it."

Riiiing! Riiiing!

Eijirou's had a long day.

A pipe busted at the auto shop today, resulting in an immediate flood—meaning they had to get everything that could possibly rust out as quickly as possible, aka everything in the goddamn shop.

So, yeah. He's had a long day, and when he's finally able to get under the covers and go the fuck to sleep, Mina calls him with this.

"Hey...Eijirou, buddy, best friend—"

"Mina, I love you, but what do you want?" Eijirou grunts into the phone, voice worn and ragged from limited sleep and his terribly long day. One am is never an appropriate time to call anybody, but he figures something has to be up—Mina's not the type to call in the middle of the night.

"Um, well. My homegirl’s kinda stuck in the woods with car troubles—"

"The woods."

It takes Mina a second but she hums in confirmation, and Eijirou can see her head nodding from where he lays. He sighs, rolling on his back to blink up at the ceiling. "Yep!"

"What is she doing in the woods at midnight?"

"I don't know!" Mina exclaims. Eijirou runs a hand over his face. "I just—please, Ei? She doesn't have AAA or anything and it's really, really late. All you have to do is hotwire her car or something, right? It's not like she totaled it or anything."

And dammit. Eijirou hates being a nice person.

"Just give me ten."

Mina practically gasps out a thank you, "You're a lifesaver Ei! Really! I—"

She's interrupted by the buzz of his phone—this time, from an unknown number. Eijirou raises an eyebrow, "That her?"

"Should be!" The pinkette says. Eijirou's feet finally touch the floor and it's painfully cold. His bed has never looked more appealing, and that's counting all those instances in high school. "Thanks again, Ei!"

"Yep," Eijirou says, popping the 'p,' before clearing his voice and switching the line. Customer Service at one am, here he comes.

"Red Riot Auto Repair and Services, how may I help you?"

All he receives is a grunt on the other end of the phone: "My car won't turn on."

Eijirou waits for you to give him a little more to work with, but it's clear that's all you have to say when you ask hello to ensure he's still on the other end of the line. Runs his hands through his hair, he silently prays he won't have to leave the house to get your car to work.

"Did you try jiggling the key?"

"Yes, I'm not stupid," you huff, and Eijirou's eyebrows fold in exasperation. He insists you do it again though, and hears the weak splutter of your engine through the phone with a heavy heart. "'S fucking useless."

"Did you try tapping the battery terminals?"

"The battery whatsitals?" You say, too loud and smart-mouthed for the very thin amount of patience Eijirou harbors. He reaches for his hair tie, satisfied enough with the messy bun he makes on the first try.

"Just send me your location," Eijirou sighs, moving for a jacket before snatching the keys to the shed. He'd rather just get this over with than beat around the bush.

Luckily, you're not far.

"You drive that thing?" is your first comment, and Eijirou can't even appreciate your beauty before your first words shatter your image completely, and he's slamming the door to his truck with rolling eyes, rusted toolbox heavy in his hand. "It looks like Mater from Lightning McQueen."

Eijirou just stares at you for a second, just to see if you're really serious, and resists the urge to scoff when it seems like you are.

"It's a truck," is all he says, before marching around you and to the task at hand—your car. "Pop the hood."

You huff, but you listen, and Eijirou wastes no time in getting to work. You watch with your elbows balanced on the rim, curious but quiet, and that allows him to get in the zone enough to realize there are countless problems with your car.

"When was the last time you took this thing into the shop?" He probes. You click your tongue, eyes tracing the outlines of the trees as you search for an answer. That's never a good sign.

"Um...never?"

"And how long have you had it?"

"A few years," you nod, and Eijirou drops his head.

"It's a miracle you made it this far in the first place," he chuckles bitterly, shaking his head. What the hell is he going to do now? There's no way your car is moving anywhere tonight. You frown, jamming your hands on your hips.

"Well? Are you going to fix it or what?"

"I can fix it," Eijirou says with a shrug, closing your hood. "But not tonight."

"What do you mean not tonight?" You badger, breathing down his neck as he hikes back to his truck to set the toolbox down. There's no reason to carry it if he's not going to need it.

"I mean, your car's going to need a solid six months before it can run again, Sweetheart."

When Eijirou turns, you're much too in his face for his liking. He can practically feel your breath against his chest, and it has him rolling his eyes, leaning against his truck with arms crossed.

"Yeah, okay, but I need it to run tonight," you explain, gesticulating so wildly Eijirou fears his own chest may fall in the cross-fire. "Like, I need to get home tonight."

"I can't—" the redhead sighs, running his hand over his face. You're terribly difficult, and if Mina had given him a proper warning he probably wouldn't be here in the fucking first place. "Listen. My shop is out of commission for the next few days 'cause of a flood. I can work on your car or whatever, but it'll take a sec, so the most I can do is drop you at a hotel down the road or somethin'. Sound like a plan?"

"No," you growl, claws and all, and Eijirou wishes for nothing but death. "That doesn't sound like a plan! I don't know you, what makes you think I'll get in a car with you?"

Oh. My. God.

"Then you can spend the night in your car and have Mina come get you in the morning," he huffs, stomping over to the driver's side of his truck. "So it's either you're gettin' in, or I'm leaving ya."

With that, he slams the car door shut, shoves his key in the ignition, and counts to fucking ten, and on nine and a half you're flinging open the passenger door and bouncing in the seat, arms crossed over your chest in indignance. You don't even look him in the eye.

"Seatbelt," he warns. You tut.

"I don't need a fucki—"

"Put on the goddamn seatbelt."

You don't say anything, but he's satisfied by the click that follows. Eijirou shifts into drive and you two take off.

"The seat's so uncomfortable."

Not even twenty feet.

"Suck it up," is all the pity Eijirou has to offer. He's preoccupied with trying to get from this side road to a main road with, you know, actual civilization. The road is unsteady—unsteady enough that a bump sends the both of you flying towards the roof of his car, and naturally, you have something to say about it.

"Y'know, for a mechanic, you're not a very good driver," you say, and it has Eijirou's fists tightening around his steering wheel. His patience wears down until it has the height of a penny, and Eijirou worries for when it shatters because he has no clue what he'll do if it does.

"And it smells a little funky," you continue anyway, eyes wandering around the cabin aimlessly."Kinda like cheese. No offense."

Eijirou pulls over at that, teeth grinding. Is he really going to snap over cheese comment?

“Is this a condom?”

Yes. Yes, the fuck he is.

"Get out."

"Um—excuse me?" You blink, eyebrows raising in offense. "You're kicking me out. Because I found a fucking rubber?”

Eijirou glares your way and he's sure you can feel him radiating fury, and that's enough to convince you to hop out of the car without another word. He follows, slamming the door behind him.

"Okay? Now what?" You growl, and Eijirou loves it—the false display of confidence. Because he knows it won't take much to break you once he gets you under his thumb, and you'll look so pretty once he does. Cocking his head to his side, he tells you to come here without having to open his mouth. You follow.

"Now, on your knees."

You splutter at his request, rolling your eyes as if he wasn't being serious. Though you shut up once you hear the clink of his belt, lips widening in revelation, and Eijirou thinks you'd look much prettier with your mouth full.

"You made me come all this way—it'd be a pity if I didn't get somethin' out of it," Eijirou says, and the way you shiver implies that you like this more than you let on. He coos when you say nothing, "And for the first time today she's got nothin' to say. See? You're improving already."

He gives you a second to move. When you don't, he lifts an eyebrow. "Knees, Princess."

You do and Eijirou groans at the view, palming his hardening cock at the sight of your bambi eyes blinking up at him—and it's a pretty one, at that. Leaning against the door of his truck, he grunts, "Take it out."

Your fingers hook under the waistband of his boxers and Eijirou shivers upon contact with the cool air, but the warmth of your palm makes up for it. You spit on his cock with a curled lip and it's nothing short of crude, before you're swirling your tongue around the head and taking him as far as you can possibly go.

"Uh-uh," Eijirou tuts, grabbing you by the hair to pull your mouth off his cock. "We got at my pace, Sweetheart."

"Why?" You pout with a curled lip. Eijirou scowls.

"Because," he says, before stuffing half of his cock down your throat, "I'm gonna put that big fuckin' mouth to use at my pace."

With that, Eijirou thrusts into your mouth, using the grip he has around your hair as leverage. Your throat is impossibly warm and the way you choke has him keening, and that's enough for his hips to start picking up mindlessly.

"Shit—what a dirty fuckin' girl," he says, smirking when you moan around his cock. "You like this? You like sucking off a guy you just met?"

Your eyes flutter at that, nails digging into his thighs, and it nearly has him cooing. When you swallow around him Eijirou's hips stutter and he grunts, "In public, no less. Anyone could drive by and see you taking my dick down your throat...but you'd like that, wouldn't you? You want the world to know how much of a slut you are."

Your hand falls between your thighs and Eijirou grins like the devil as he watches you touch yourself on the dirty road, desperate just because knows how to push the right buttons. That's enough to have him caving, demanding you rise to your feet and get in the backseat of his car.

"Hands and knees," Eijirou urges, his body towering over yours from behind. It's not long before he's pinning your wrists to the windshield with one hand and using the other to land a harsh slap on your ass; harsh enough to make you jolt forwards from the force.

"Such a pretty ass," he coos before slapping it again, and your teeth dig into your bottom lip to muffle the sound. "And it's all for me, ain't it, Princess?"

You nod, but Eijirou spanks you again—he's looking for an answer.

"Y-Yeah, yes, all yours just—" your hips wiggle in search of his cock. Eijirou chuckles, leveling his lips with your ear.

"Want me to fill you up, Princess?"

You gasp out a yes, nodding vehemently. The redhead finds he likes you like this much better, chest rumbling with arousal. "Yeah? How bad?"

"B-Bad, please, I need t—fuck!"

Eijirou stuffs you full with one thrust, and even he needs a moment, freehand searching to hold onto your hip while his grip tightens around your wrists. You quiver under him, and he swears he can feel your gut contract around his cock, eyelids fluttering when you grind against him.

"Holy shit," Eijirou finds himself wheezing, not expecting you to be so tight. You drop your head against the cool windshield, whimpering like the pretty little thing you are, shuddering as he pulls out before ramming himself in again until he's balls deep. You scream, back arching from the angle.

And fuck. It's impossible for him to stop after that.

"Fuckin' look at you," Eijirou chuckles, body practically caging you against the seat, "Drooling all over my window like a slut. Fuck, you really know how to get a guy goin' huh?"

“Pull—pull my hair,” you request, words from his pistoning hips. Eijirou tuts and rips your hands off the window in favor of pushing your head into the seat, not making a move to yank on your hair once.

“I don’t think you’re in the right place to be making demands, Princess," he growls before his hot palm cracks against your ass, hissing from the way you tighten around him when he does.

You whine at that, pushing into him the best you can. It only spurs his hips on faster, and Eijirou lets go of your hands in favor of grabbing your face instead, groaning at the sight of the tears shining silver from the moonlight. He likes the fact that you can't do much but gasp and rock against him, your hands falling to clit to finally push yourself off the edge.

He looks at you and all he sees is his dumb little thing, who can't do anything, let alone get her car to work, and that's when Eijirou realizes he doesn't want this to be as much of a one-time thing as he initially thought.

"Gonna...gonna cum," you slur, cheek mashed flat against his window. Eijirou fucks you into the door of his truck, pace quick and bruising, as his mind thinks of all the fun you two could have together—all the fun he wants to have with you.

"Cum, Sweetheart. Make a mess of my cock and my leather seats, yeah? Show me how good I make you feel."

You tighten around his cock, tight, and that's enough to send him spiraling into an orgasm of his own, hips stuttering to a stop as he fills you up. Though his hips never stop, not until you're coming around his cock with a broken moan, curled toes digging into his car floor. He watches you catch your breath, splayed across the seat, with a sudden realization that he feels much lighter, but doubts it was the sex that did the trick.

"You fucked your anger out now?" You wheeze, breaking the silence, and Eijirou snorts.

"I—yes," he says before his eyes trail to the scratch marks around your hips and thighs. "Are you...okay?"

"Never been better," you toss your arms in the air like you're on a rollercoaster but lack the energy to scream. It's cute and it had the redhead re-evaluating everything, wondering how the day could start so shitty and yet, end so well. "Are you okay?"

His eyebrows furrow, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I dunno," you shrug, and Eijirou finds it hard to stay focused when you look like that. "You asked me, so. Everyone needs a post-sex check-in, ya know?"

Fuck.

Fuck, yeah he's definitely keeping you.

#— 𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐔 #tw.dubcon #kirishima smut #bnha smut #mha smut #kirishima x reader

1K notes · View notes

joyfulhopelox · 3 years

Text

soft for you | jjk

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (CEO!au)

Genre: fluff

Rating: g

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 1.6k

Drabble request by anon with ceo!JK. I loved writing this it was so much fun! Thank you for the request and i hope it is what you wanted! and i am sorry it turned into a small one shot than a drabble!

Sequel: santa, baby

Prompt: "𝒘𝒐𝒘, 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒅. 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖?"

Rᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛs ᴀʀᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴏᴘᴇɴ!

Jeon Jungkook was like a thunderstorm on a normal day. Jeon Jungkook on a bad day, was a hurricane. Each morning every department would wait with baited breath for him to come into the office. If it happened to be a normal day, he would only bark orders at the people he had meetings with. His office door would stay open for others to come in- not that anyone dared to, and he would only be requesting his PA’s presence. On those days, anyone who didn’t have a meeting scheduled with him in their calendar would be breathing easily. If it was a bad day, everyone would know from the moment he entered the building. His PA would come running in letting everyone know that he was downstairs, and requested an urgent meeting with the heads of the departments. That was a sign for everyone to scramble back to their stations, because if there was even one thing out of place, heads would roll. On those bad days he would be like a ticking time bomb and it would take very little for him to explode.

On good days- they had never witnessed a good day in the office with him. But recently there had been just as little bad days too. Most of the time the office would experience a normal day in the office, until someone would be called over email or phone into a meeting with him. Today was no exception. The silence in the wide space was so loud a pin drop could be heard. The glass door to the CEO’s office was wide open, yet no sound could be heard coming from inside. Today was a big day. Jungkook would be meeting with the board to discuss a new investment and the silence put everyone on edge. So when the ping of the lift echoed from down the corridor everyone all but jumped out of their skin.

Coming out of the lift, you breathed in relief. The office seemed less like a warzone than the last time you visited. Readjusting the grip on your bag you confidently made your way down the corridor. It was already after lunch so most people were back at their desk, furiously typing away or speaking on the phone. You tried to ignore the fuss around you as everyone took notice of you.

“Y/N, what brings you here?” Emi, Jungkook’s PA warmly greeted you. You’ve known her for some time as you went to university with her; the two of you always ate lunch together during your free hour. Setting a freshly bought coffee on her desk you returned the warm greeting.

“How’s he?” You threw a glance at the open door, the polished sign that read ‘Jeon Jungkook; CEO’ gleaming in the sunlight coming in from the windows. As if the man in question heard you, a loud crash and a curse resonated through the office, only to be followed by Jungkook’s voice coming from Emi’s intercom. “Emi! In here please!” Emi jumped up immediately but you gently placed your arm on her shoulder stopping her. “It’s ok Emi, I got this.” You rolled your eyes as you turned round and headed for the office. Behind you, all you could hear were murmurs, your ears catching onto a few. "Wait, she’s going in just like that?", "She can’t be, she’ll get yelled at!". You struggled not to laugh- if only they knew.

Jungkook’s office was always clean, his sensitivity to smells forcing the cleaners to come in twice a day. Taking in the airy office, you spotted the man of the hour bent over, searching frantically for something in his drawers. The desk lamp that lay on it's side on the floor gave you an indication of where the crash may have come from.

“Emi, yes good-” Jungkook turned to face you so abruptly you wondered how he didn’t give himself a whiplash.

“Jeon Jungkook, do I look like Emi to you?” You playfully scolded him with your hands on your hips. Wide eyed, he stared at you before his face broke out into a grin. “Y/N!” Before he could say anything else for the whole office to hear, you quickly closed his door. Narrowing your eyes, you pointed at him. “You, mister, left without a goodbye this morning.” Mock irritation painted your face as he tried to make himself look as innocent as possible. “I’m sorry love, I was in a hurry.” He sheepishly responded.

“Why am I not even surprised?” Rolling your eyes you motioned for him to get closer. “Am I not going to receive my greeting now?” Mouth falling open, Jungkook scrambled to round his desk heading straight towards you, his arms wide open. Engulfing you in a tight hug he whispered apologies in your hair, his voice coming out as broken muffles.

“It’s okay, forgiven...only if you stop by the Italian place tonight and get my favourite dish.” You lightly poked him in an attempt to get him to let you go. “Jungkook, let me go. We have a meeting to go to. Everyone’s probably imagined the worst scenarios by now.” In a last attempt to make him let you go, you used a tactic you knew always worked. “I may have brought you your favourite drink.” You’ve barely even finished the sentence that your eyes registered at the sight of him exiting the office. Shaking your head, a small smile gracing your lips, you followed him out the door.

The meeting lasted longer than you’d intended, and it didn’t help that Jungkook would keep referencing your name. To make matters worse, he kept stealing glances your way, the last straw being his genuine smile when he praised the work you have done for them this past year.

The whole boardroom stared agape at the way Jungkook threw a smile your way. Glaring at him you tutted to yourself. You patted your skirt in an attempt to get your head back into the game as you cleared your throat. “Right, as everyone knows I am Y/N, I am the head legal consultant.” Getting up from your seat, you went to take the cursor from Jungkook, his fingers brushing over ours briefly sending sparks down your spine. With a final glance his way, you clicked on the cursor smiling to yourself. It may have not been noticed by anyone, but behind the cold mask, Jungkook’s eyes sparkled with love and admiration as they followed you around the room.

As you finished drawing up the last conclusions in the meeting, people were already starting to exit the room eager to get on with their day. Packing up your laptop, you looked up as you heard your name. One of your colleagues from the legal team of the company approached you with a smile. “Rhia, hi! So nice to see you again!” As you barely came to any meetings, you rarely had a chance to catch up in person with the people working alongside you. Whenever you had more time you would make it a point to visit them in the department downstairs for a brief off the clock catch up session. You’d intended to do the same today only for your plans to be slightly derailed.

“Y/N.” Jungkook’s voice sounded neutral as he called your name, but it only took you one look in his direction to tell he was excited. His eyes gleamed with mischief as he continued, “I will be taking you home.” With that he left you staring wide eyed after him as he exited the room like a hurricane.

“Wow, he’s normally so cold, how did you manage to get him so soft for you?” Rhia inquired absentmindedly as she packed up her bag and prepared to leave the meeting room. Smirking to yourself, you shrugged as you followed her suit. Outside, in all his glory, stood the aforementioned CEO, his stony expression softening at the sight of you. As soon as you spotted him you smiled. Turning back to your colleague you nodded at her, “It’s no secret, I’m a consulting legal partner, I could make sure his ass is sued at any point if he makes the wrong move.” At her awed expression you gently reached out to pat her shoulder. “Oh and I know where to find his favourite flavoured milk. Should try it, it does wonders for his mood.” Laughing to yourself at Rhia’s astonishment, you turned around quickly at the sound of your name. “This is my cue to go, have a good evening Rhia.” Waving goodbye to her you didn’t bother to glance back as your eyes were locked onto the sole reason for your giddiness in the morning and at night. Picking up the pace, you all but ran into Jungkook’s awaiting arms revelling in the feeling of him wrapping you in a tight hug.

“Y/N, i missed you. You were taking too long.” Kissing the top of your head he briefly glanced at Rhia’s still frozen form. The shock of what she was witnessing pinned her in place. “Is your friend ok? She hasn’t moved in a while. What were you talking about?” He leaned down to whisper in your ear as if you weren’t at the other end of the corridor by then. Following his gaze you also stared for a second at your colleague. She was still frozen in the same spot, with her mouth agape and eyes wide. You chuckled to yourself as you wrapped your arm around his waist bringing yourself closer to him.

“She’s alright, I think she had a bit too much excitement for the day.”

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queenshelby · 3 years

Text

My Friend’s Father (Part Three)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut

Words: 2,947

Notes:

I have decided to make this into a series.

Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

*************************

Cillian’s POV

Shortly after Denise got home from her rather miserable date with Jeremy, Cillian went to bed. It was only 9 o’clock but he thought that he would spend some time finishing reading the book he had started to read two nights ago.

The problem was that, even when he tried hard to focus on the content of the book, he couldn’t.

His mind was overrun with guilt about what had happened between you all so suddenly and unexpectedly and he still wasn’t so sure why he had given into you so easily. It was almost like he had lost all of his self-control in that moment.

This kind of behaviour was unusual for him. Usually, he would have been more sensible than this. After all, he was 45 and never had a one-night stand in his entire life.

Would you share this with anyone?

Probably not, he thought. He had known you for a while and you weren’t the type of woman who was actively seeking attention. You were always somewhat nerdy and a bit of loner. For years, he had known you to be sensible and he always liked that you were looking out for his daughter Denise. You were more mature than her and were always somewhat shy and reserved.

With this in mind, he was even more surprised by your actions. You seducing him the way you did seemed out of character for you which made him nervous.

Did you have feelings for him?

He certainly hoped that you didn’t. For him, this was nothing but sex and he would hate to give you the feeling that it was something more. He didn’t want to hurt you.

He should never have given into you. He knew that it was wrong and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he acted so selfishly because, in his mind, this was exactly what it was. An act of selfishness.

You were young and clearly inexperienced which made this whole thing even worse. It was obvious to Cillian that you hadn’t been with many men before and he felt as though he took advantage of you even despite the fact that you were the one who made a move on him. He should have stopped you.

The fact that he is seeing someone else in Manchester didn’t help either and, whilst it wasn’t anything serious or exclusive, it felt wrong to him to be intimate with you which, in his own mind, brought him to another dilemma all together.

Why didn’t he use protection when he slept with you?

He knew that he could have simply walked into his son’s bedroom and find what he needed. But he didn’t. Instead, he was so consumed by lust that he forgot all about the need to be play it safe. Of course, he always reminded his adult children about the importance of protection and yet, he failed to adhere to his own rules.

Whilst he knew that you didn’t have many sexual partners and any risk associated with contracting STDs was somewhat low, he worried that you weren’t on birth control.

Why on earth didn’t he at least ask you about it? Was it too late to ask you now? Why did you make him pull out?

WHAT THE FUCK HAD HE DONE???

He panicked and he knew he had to talk to you in order to ease his mind.

YOUR POV

After you listened to Denise about her date gone wrong and what an asshole Jeremy actually was, you also made your way to bed. You felt terrible for her but knew that she would meet someone else who would make her happy and treat her well.

But her date with Jeremy wasn’t the only thing you felt terrible about. Even more so, you felt terrible about sleeping with her father which you knew was wrong and yet, you tried to justify it in your head.

Why did you act so selfishly and gave into your sexual needs?

This was something you had never done before. You were rather careful when it came to getting yourself involved with guys.

You had taken a liking in your friend’s father several years ago when you were 19. But then, it was just a silly crush you thought.

When you heard about his divorce however, you began to fantasise about him in your sleep and this was simply a fantasy you had finally acted upon.

This, however, didn’t change the fact that he was your friend’s father.

Would she mind if she knew?

Maybe she wouldn’t. She might just think that you are disgusting for sleeping with her dad but, in the end of the day, you are two consenting adults.

Why couldn’t you stop even when you realised that what you were doing was wrong?

When you made the first move it was almost like you were in a trance. You were overwhelmed. You wanted every bit of it but you never experienced sex quite like this. It was intense and he certainly knew what he was doing.

Whilst Cillian was much older than you, you were extremely attracted to him. Everything about him was perfect in your mind and he felt incredible when he was inside you.

You wanted so much more and thought that, perhaps, if it was just sex, it wasn’t wrong after all.

Together Again

Just as those thoughts raced through your mind, you heard a quite knock on the door.

Thinking that it was Denise, you didn’t bother to cover up as you were sitting on the guest bed in black cotton panties and a tight cotton singlet.

To your surprise, however, it wasn’t Denise who walked into the guestroom when you called out ‘come in’. It was Cillian.

His chin dropped as soon as he saw you. For some reason, he took a liking in your rather simple but yet revealing outfit, your messy hair and your black framed reading glasses.

‘Hey’ you simply said shyly as he was standing there speechless.

‘Hey’ he responded, swallowing harshly before telling you that he needed to talk to you.

‘Sure’ you said, putting the magazine down which you were reading along with your reading glasses. Then, you scooted over on the bed and indicated to him to sit down next to you.

His scent was intoxicating. He was freshly showered and his hair was still wet but you could still smell a hint of his aftershave on him.

‘So, what do you want to talk about?’ you asked without bothering to cover up your naked skin and you could see Cillian’s mind working overtime while the tension was building.

‘About what happened between us’ he then stammered while he observed your eyes wandering towards where they shouldn’t. But, you couldn’t help it and, when you noticed that he was reacting to your presence, you bit your lips seductively.

‘What happened between us was just sex. It’s not a big deal. People have sex all the time and you can trust me Cillian. It will remain our little secret’ you said in a seductive voice while moving your hand over Cillian’s upper thigh, through the hairs on his exposed skin and then all the way towards the rim of his boxers.

‘Y/N’ he barely managed to stammer, swallowing harshly.

‘Yes Cillian?’ you then smirked, noticing the effect you were having on him and moving your hand farther up his legs and beneath his boxers where you began to stroke his cock.

‘You are so hard’ you then whispered as you received no response from him other than a groan and, just as you did, Cillian took hold of you and pushed you beneath him in one swift movement.

Without words, Cillian’s warm lips met yours in a passionate kiss. The kiss was more urgent than before and you loved the way he asserted his dominance as his tongue circled around yours.

He felt such desire for you that he thought he would explode and, whilst he was normally quite vocal, every word he tried to say and every question he was going to ask you, were caught in his throat.

Wrapping your arms round him you ran your hands up and down his firm back as your mouths ground together. Sucking on each other's lips and plunging your tongues into each other’s mouth.

You couldn’t believe how wonderful it was to be kissed in such an experienced, almost sophisticated way and Cillian was marvelling at how someone so young could have learned to kiss so well.

Within split seconds and in between heated kisses, Cillian’s t-shirt and your singlet landed on the floor.

It wasn’t long until Cillian’s mouth left yours and began to wander over your firm breasts and then all the way down to your stomach which is where they came to a halt.

He interlocked his fingers with your panties and pulled them down, letting them join the other clothes on the floor before his head gracefully disappeared in between your legs.

‘It goes without saying, but you need to be quiet’ Cillian chuckled and you barely managed to nod before you covered your own mouth with the palm of your hand as Cillian dipped his tongue straight into your wetness.

‘Oh god yes’ you whimpered quietly as the rasping roughness of his tongue slid along your velvety wetness and sent enormous tremors through you.

You had little experience of either, receiving or, giving oral sex. In your world of mainly inexperienced boys, it was hardly on the agenda as they were generally too keen to get their rocks off to worry overly about your pleasure. In any case in the usually rushed episodes in the back of cars or downstairs with parents in bed there was hardly the time let alone the opportunity for languid pussy licking or sensual cock sucking. In the world of the forty-five year-old man lying between your opened legs, however, it very much was on the agenda and he seemed to enjoy it just as much as you did.

You moaned loudly as you were holding Cillian’s head in both hands as he licked the length of your pussy. He did it slowly with just the right amount of pressure making sure that the tip of his tongue fully anointed both lips and licked just inside them on that especially sensitive area.

When you moaned a little too loudly again, he reminded you to be quiet just before he sucked and kissed you again, covering every inch of the outside of your pussy before pushing the straightened tip of his tongue inside and probing upwards licking the insides as he started to tongue fuck you.

‘This feels so fucking good’ you stammered, legs shaking and quivering while Cillian held you tightly and it wasn’t long until you reached an orgasm which sent convulsions through your body.

You moaned a little too loud again as your whole body tingled and felt tender to the touch and tears of pleasure and relief, with a tinge of guilt, poured down your cheeks.

‘That was amazing’ you eventually huffed out as you slowly came down from your high and Cillian kissed his way back up your body until his lips reached yours.

‘You taste so fucking good’ he then whispered into your ear after your lips drifted apart and, just as he did, you reached in between his legs and began stroking his cock which was still rock hard.

‘I want to feel you inside me again…please…just once more’ you begged and the sound of you begging alone made Cillian groan.

‘Fuck Y/N…I want you so much’ he whispered as he pulled down his boxers and his wiggling body urged your legs to open so that his cock lay between your thighs with the bulbous end of it pressed against your lips.

‘Then take me’ you groaned marvelling at the fact your friend's dad was about to fuck you.

With the tip of his cock just slightly parting the lips of your pussy and his arms round your body with his hands gripping your taught bum he muttered something you couldn’t understand. It was obvious to you that his mind was hardly able to accept what was happening. Nonetheless, he wanted it so badly and, with a shrug of his hips, he sank his cock deep into your gorgeously tight and wonderfully welcoming pussy.

‘Oh god yes, Cillian’ you groaned as your fingernails were digging into his back.

He pushed himself in as far as it would go, eliciting more groans from you which he had to quickly silence with his lips.

You felt light-headed and deliriously happy. You also felt very filled. Cillian was bigger than the other guys you had been with and you loved the feeling of being stretched. The folds of skin that guard your clit seemed to be open and that so sensitive place felt to be exposed, so as Cillian started moving slowly up and down it was as though his cock was rubbing on it. You had never felt anything like it before. Just as you had never felt like cumming when a man's cock had only been inside you for a few moments.

Somehow, however, you managed to delay your release just a little bit longer, enjoying as Cillian thrusted into you hard and deep until, eventually, the inevitable happened.

‘Let go, there is no need to hold back’ Cillian reassured you and, just as he did, you allowed your orgasm to wash over you.

‘Oh god Cillian, fuck’ you shouted out and he quickly covered your mouth with his hand as he continued to thrust into and watched you lose control.

Your legs were shaking once again as you gave in and, when you finally came down, Cillian pulled out of you.

Thinking that he was done and that he wanted you to proceed as before, you scooted up but, to your surprise, Cillian pulled you on top of him instead.

‘Your turn to take what you need Y/N’ Cillian whispered and you couldn’t help but shiver at his words. He wanted you on top and that was yet another first for you.

‘You can cum again’ he then said but you couldn’t help but shake your head.

‘I don’t think I can, but I am willing to try’ you smirked. He had already given you four orgasms that day which were four more orgasms than anyone else before him had given you.

‘I bet you can’ he then winked and you nodded shyly before taking his hard cock into your hand and lining it up with your entrance.

‘I will be sore tomorrow I think’ you whispered as, with a moan, you sank down on his hard cock.

‘Yes, you will be’ Cillian chuckled as, all of a sudden, he thrusted upwards and deep into your mound, causing you to cry out in pleasure.

Once again, he covered your mouth with his hand as you began to ride him.

‘You feel so fucking good, you know that?’ Cillian groaned as you began to move up and down on his hard shaft. He certainly had become vocal now and you loved it.

‘So tight around my cock’ he then groaned as he met your thrusts and he could hear you starting to whimper.

‘Oh god…yes, fuck my pussy’ you moaned quietly, holding his hand and keeping it near your mouth while sucking on his fingers.

‘Cum inside me Cillian. I want to feel it. Fill me with your cum’ you then demanded as you began to ride his cock harder and faster and, by this point, Cillian had lost all self-control.

The dirty talk, the tightness of your pussy and the way your lips played with his fingers was too much for him.

‘Cum with me Cillian’ you then moaned as you let go and so did he.

‘Oh god Cillian, yes…fuck’ you groaned as such amazing feelings flooded your body and you felt him push into you as far as he could go.

‘Fuck Y/N’ grunted as you both climaxed simultaneously and you soared to a height of pleasure you had never previously experienced when Cillian’s cock exploded sending streams of his cum into you.

‘Oh god that was amazing’ you eventually huffed out when you both stopped moving.

‘Jesus Y/N’ Cillian grunted almost at the same time before his eyes shot open and he saw your satisfied smile.

Carefully, you climbed off him, releasing his cock from your tight pussy before you sat down on the bed next to him.

You spread your legs and, with curious eyes, you looked down on yourself and watched some of Cillian’s cum leak from your core.

‘That feels so fucking good…so warm and wet’ you observed as you collected some of his cum with your finger and brought it to your mouth while Cillian cocked an eyebrow, wondering what you were doing.

‘Uhm…?’ Cillian chuckled, watching you almost speechlessly but yet somewhat turned on.

‘I never had a guy cum inside me but this is so fucking sexy’ you observed with a laugh before reshuffling yourself and collapsing into his arms.

‘Yeah, about that…’ Cillian went on to say…

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15 @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r @tellingyouastory @captivatedbycillianmurphy @namelesslosers @littlewhiterose @ttzamara @ttzamara @cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon @ysmmsy

#cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x y #cillian x reader #cillian murphy x you #cillian x y/n #cillian murphy x y/n #smut #fanfic #fanfiction #agegap

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patt-writes-stuff · 3 years

Text

Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!

Wc: 1.7k+

Type: Headcanons

CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)

A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)

🔥Diluc:

This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.

Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.

He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.

So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.

He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.

Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.

He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.

If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.

He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.

If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.

Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.

If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.

All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.

🖌Albedo:

You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.

You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.

Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.

It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.

Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭

I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)

He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)

Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.

He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)

If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰

At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)

At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)

All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)

🦋Xiao:

I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.

He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.

However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)

Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd

Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.

I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.

He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)

As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.

Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.

I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.

He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.

Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.

All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.

💎Ningguang:

OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH

She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.

She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.

She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)

The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!

Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3

If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.

Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.

If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.

The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.

If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.

All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)

🍃Venti:

BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!

Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?

No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).

He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.

HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!

He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.

If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.

If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…

At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.

I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.

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myopinionhi · 4 years

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A Will Solace Character Analysis: the Underappreciated Soft Side

I've noticed many fanfictions have Will Solace OOC. So I’ve been thinking about aspects of Will’s personality fans seem to either gloss over or exaggerate. Here, this post is me doing an in-depth analysis explaining Will Solace’s canon personality in the books, and how it can sometimes differ from fanfictions. Sprinkled in this analysis are tips to fanfiction writers on how they write Will as more in-character.

There is one major aspect of Will that people seem to ignore or underemphasize. Nico best explains it when describing Will in this quote

Jason was a fighter. You could tell from the intensity of his stare, his constant alertness, the coiled-up energy in his frame. Will Solace was more like a lanky cat stretched out in sunshine. His movements were relaxed and nonthreatening, his gaze soft and far away. In his faded SURF BARBADOS T-shirt, his cutoff shorts and flip-flops, he looked about as aggressive as a demigod could get, but Nico knew he was brave under fire. During the Battle of Manhattan, Nico had seen him in action - the camp's best combat medic, risking his life to save wounded campers.

To sum it up, Will Solace is a very chill and calm character. A lot of writers make Will more irrational, impulsive, overbearing, and emotional than he actually is. Will is not the type of character to create drama unless he's, as Nico puts it, "under fire." In other words, the intense side of his personality doesn't come out unless the situation is urgent or dire.

Fans remember during the Second Giant War how he gets angry and argues with Nico over Nico's health and shadow-traveling, so many assume Will is going to be this fiery over a lot of other things regarding their relationship. For example, fanfic writers may make Will controlling or overly sensitive with Nico. However, keep in mind, Will gets heated with Nico during the Second Giant War because Nico's shadow-traveling is killing him. This is how Will describes Nico's dire state.

"Coach Hedge told me all about your shadow-travel. You can’t try that again."

"I just did try it again, Solace. I’m fine."

"No, you’re not. I’m a healer. I could feel the darkness in your hand as soon as I touched it. Even if you made it to that tent, you’d be in no shape to fight. But you wouldn’t make it. One more slip, and you won’t come back. You are not shadow-travelling. Doctor’s orders."

Will is a healer. When he touches Nico's hand, he can sense how little sleep and food Nico has been getting and how Nico's being taken over by darkness. Nico is on the verge of death and hasn't cared about his health for a long time. Nico is also stubborn about it, so Will has to be aggressive in order to save Nico's life. This aggressive behavior is not the norm for Will, but it can sometimes come out when he has to assert control in a life-or-death situation.

Will is a calming prescence. He's a diplomat. He stops violence on multiple occassions.

He's one of the few people who's able to calm Clarisse's violent rage, and he does so in a gentle manner.

Clarisse pointed her dagger at Rachel. "What about their allies, huh? Did you see that tribe of two-headed men that arrived yesterday? Or the glowing red dog-headed guys with the big poleaxes? They look pretty barbaric to me. It would’ve been nice if you’d foreseen any of that, if your Oracle power didn’t break down when we needed it most!"

Rachel’s face turned as red as her hair. "That’s hardly my fault. Something is wrong with Apollo’s gifts of prophecy. If I knew how to fix it –"

"She’s right." Will Solace, head counsellor for the Apollo cabin, put his hand gently on Clarisse’s wrist. Not many campers could’ve done that without getting stabbed, but Will had a way of defusing people’s anger. He got her to lower her dagger. "Everyone in our cabin has been affected. It’s not just Rachel."

One of the most underrated Will Solace moments is when he stops a bloody battle from happening between Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter.

But he knew it wouldn’t do any good. After weeks of waiting, agonizing and steaming, the Greeks and Romans wanted blood. Trying to stop the battle now would be like trying to push back a flood after the dam broke.

Will Solace saved the day.

He put his fingers in his mouth and did a taxicab whistle even more horrible than the last. Several Greeks dropped their swords. A ripple went through the Roman line like the entire First Cohort was shuddering.

"DON’T BE STUPID!" Will yelled. "LOOK!"

People are so used to seeing demigods, especially male demigods, being aggressive fighters that they can't wrap their heads around a brave and strong demigod who actively tries to avoid unnecessary conflict and destruction as much as he can.

And that's Will Solace's strength: he has the ability to prevent as much harm as possible.

Will is a difficult character to write. There's a lot of dueling factors with his personality. He's calm and pacifying while also being brave and assertive. He's fun and lighthearted while also being intelligent, logical, and grounded. He's laidback while also being responsible and hardworking. He's insecure but not melodramatic. He's very caring and protective but not pushy.

Will's personality confuses Nico sometimes too.

He’d always thought of Will as easygoing and laid back. Apparently he could also be stubborn and aggravating.

The trick to writing Will is to keep in mind his default personality is a soft and lighthearted character. Writers tend to overemphasize the hard side of his personality when his default personality is actually the soft side.

Think of the relaxing, lanky cat metaphor Nico uses for him. He and Nico bicker often, and it works for Will because he rolls with everything and doesn't take things too seriously. He's able to alleviate Nico's moodiness with humor, wittiness, groundedness, and patience. Nico affectionately calls Will a "dork" because Will usually keeps things light. Interestingly enough, he's able to be lighthearted without coming across as insensitive or an airheaded goofball, the latter of which is something Nico dislikes about Percy's personality. On a related sidenote, another way writers make Will OOC is they make him too dumb or too immature. I know I mentioned to focus on Will's soft side, but be careful to avoid that too. He's a SENSIBLE, lanky cat.

The way Will keeps his composure during a stressful situation by using laughter while still being mature is expressed well in this exchange with Apollo. (Yes, Will has a lot to manage.)

It was difficult to think of this young man as my son. He was so poised, so unassuming, so free of acne. He also didn’t appear to be awestruck in my presence. In fact, the corner of his mouth had started twitching.

“Are—are you amused?” I demanded.

Will shrugged. “Well, it’s either find this funny or freak out. My dad, the god Apollo, is a fifteen-year-old—”

“Sixteen,” I corrected. “Let’s go with sixteen.”

“A sixteen-year-old mortal, lying in a cot in my cabin, and with all my healing arts—which I got from you—I still can’t figure out how to fix you.”

“There is no fixing this,” I said miserably. “I am cast out of Olympus. My fate is tied to a girl named Meg. It could not be worse!”

Will laughed, which I thought took a great deal of gall. “Meg seems cool. She’s already poked Connor Stoll in the eyes and kicked Sherman Yang in the crotch.”

The fiercer side of Will's personality comes out only when the situation calls for it; this happens sometimes when he has to be a caring family member, a responsible healer, or a warrior in a dire situation. Even when he gets more forceful, he doesn't get more forceful than he has to.

Since Will has such a balanced and lighthearted personality, what are his flaws? What are the dark sides of his personality? There are four main things that stick out.

1. He's insecure about his self-perceived lack of abilities.

"I agree," Will said. "I wish I was a better archer … I wouldn’t mind shooting my Roman relative off his high horse. Actually, I wish I could use any of my father’s gifts to stop this war." He looked down at his own hands with distaste. "Unfortunately, I’m just a healer."

2. He sometimes struggles to endure the heavy responsibilities he has as a healer and as a protector to his family.

“I got it reattached,” Will told me, his voice shaky with exhaustion. His scrubs were speckled with blood. “I need somebody to keep him stable.”

I pointed to the woods. “But—”

“I know!” Will snapped. “Don’t you think I want to be out there searching too? We’re shorthanded for healers. There’s some salve and nectar in that pack. Go!”

I was stunned by his tone. I realized he was just as concerned about Kayla and Austin as I was. The only difference: Will knew his duty. He had to heal the injured first. And he needed my help.

3. He forces himself to bottle his emotions to keep his composure.

Will laughed under his breath. “I’m terrified. But one thing you learn as head counselor: you have to keep it together for everyone else. Let’s get you on your feet."

Here's a second example.

I rested my hand on Will’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll be back by dawn.”

His mouth trembled ever so slightly. “How can you be sure?”

4. He constantly worries about his loved ones.

Nico rested his hand on Will’s shoulder. “Apollo, we were worried. Will was especially.”

In conclusion, Will Solace's personality is difficult to get correct. But don't worry, if you write Will as a laidback, witty cat in your fanfics, I guarantee he'll be more in-character than many other fanfics with Will Solace.

(Note: I am only human. If you believe I'm misinterpreting some aspects of Will's personality, feel free to express it. What I say isn't 100 percent the right interpretation.)

#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #will solace #nico di angelo #solangelo #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #spoilers #meta #character analysis #fanfic #fanfiction #blood of olympus #hidden oracle #long post #toa #hoo #apollo

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hockeywhy · 3 years

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caught in the middle (1); m. barzal

SYNOPSIS: For the sake of your friend’s wedding with Tito, you and Mat agree to maintain the facade of still being the happy couple everyone sees you as. But the act comes with its consequences, one more taxing than the other. WARNINGS: language. WORD COUNT: 11.2k A/N: I am so excited for this because it contains some of the tropes I enjoy seeing in fics, and I was dying to also put out some new content as opposed to only reposting my old writing. I wish I wrote this when I was still decent at doing the thing, but I hope that this is still an enjoyable read that makes you look forward to the next part! Title is based off Alexander 23′s Caught in the Middle which is such a good song and I really recommend. Sections in italics represent flashbacks.

PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

“We’re getting married!”

You gasped, bringing both hands to cover the lower half of your face as your jaw dropped at the announcement. It shouldn’t be so surprising – you would’ve bet even your most prized possession that this was bound to happen at some point eventually – but knowing this was actually now a sure thing sent a thrill through you. It didn’t take long for the shock to wear off and in place of it, your expression mirrored that of your best friend’s: the wide grin, the bright eyes and of course, the giggles of sheer excitement as soon as the news sunk in. Elise was glowing and next to her, Tito embodied the idea of what the world’s proudest man would look like.

“Oh my god!” you gasped, and Elise burst into laughter, not hesitating to jump out of her seat at the same time you did so that the two of you could embrace. Among your squeals and giggles, you could faintly make out the sound of hands being clapped, then caught sight of Mat and Tito hugging. Over Elise’s shoulder and over Tito’s, you and Mat exchanged smiles and you couldn’t help the chuckle that left your mouth as soon as he winked at you. “Congratulations!” you said as soon as you broke apart, though the two of you still held hands. Immediately, your gaze fell down to her hand where a ring now rested, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you hadn’t taken notice of it earlier. “Just—when? How? Where? Who else knows?”

“We don’t have a date or venue set yet, but we wanted you and Mat to be the first to know,” Elise informed you as soon as you took your seats again.

“We have a favour to ask from both of you,” Tito supplied. As soon as he said it, you felt Mat’s hand wrap around your own and the two of you exchanged a brief look during which he squeezed your hand gently, before diverting your attentions back to the soon-to-be newlyweds.

Newlyweds. The immensity of the word sent a discrete shiver down your spine.

“I can’t imagine asking this of anyone else: I want you to be my best man,” Tito directed at Mat.

“You shouldn’t even think of asking this of anyone else,” Mat responded immediately, and the two shook hands on it. You couldn’t help but think that if they weren’t as comfortable as they were now, they’d probably hug again, do their typical pats on the back or fist bump as they usually did, but Elise’s head now rested on Tito’s shoulder and Mat’s hand was so warm, so firm atop your own.

“Be my maid of honour, please?” Elise asked. “I can’t think of anyone more suitable than you and Mat as best man and maid of honour. We’ll return the favour of course,” she added playfully.

“I’ll hold you to that,” you warned without hesitating because after all, you had no reason to – and you knew Mat would agree with you.

Although the two of you hadn’t touched on the subject yet, there was an unvoiced knowledge shared between you that eventually, this would also be you. Eventually, Mat would ask you and your heart would grow and your soul would warm, and you would say yes. Yes, yes, yes.

As you all settled down to hear a replay of how Tito popped the question and Elise accepted the ring, Mat’s thumb began caressing the back of your hand. Though the gesture wasn’t a novelty, you couldn’t help but take notice of the way your heart fluttered each time he seemed to linger more on your ring finger. It wasn’t difficult to imagine a ring wrapped around it but neither of you were in a rush: you simply waited for the right time to take your relationship to a point in which it would become a forever thing, fully confident it wasn’t a question of ‘if’ but rather, ‘when’.

This was anything but the right time.

You frown as you cast a glance down at the phone resting on your lap, eyes narrowing a little at the name which brought the display to life for the second time in the space of less than a minute. You click the side button twice, silencing the vibrations of it and from your side, your colleague leans in to whisper to you.

“You can take it if it’s urgent. I’ll fill you in afterwards.”

“Thanks,” you whisper back. “I think it can wait until the meeting wraps up though.”

Luke gives you a well, if you’re sure look as he leaned back in his chair and you flash him a grateful smile.

Still, it is difficult for you to settle comfortably in your seat again and much to your chagrin, you find yourself crossing and uncrossing your legs as if the call had sent some sort of signal to your entire body kickstarting jitteriness you can honestly do without. Not long after you find some comfort and energy to draw yourself back to the present, your phone buzzes again – only once this time, indicating a message.

I’m waiting for you in the lobby.

Fuck, you curse inwardly, locking the phone in frustration. As quietly as you can, you gather your notebook and work tablet then lean in towards Luke who met you halfway. “Have to run but let me know if I miss anything important.”

“At the current rate, I wouldn’t count much on it but will do anyway,” he states as quietly as he can and the two of you exchange sly, conspiratorial smiles before you excuse yourself quickly and very quietly while making a swift exit.

Internally, a string of curses follow without a break in between, and you have to physically bite down on your lip out of sheer fear one might unconsciously slip out. If anyone would be in your shoes, though, they wouldn’t blame you for it. You are the type of person to stick closely to any plans and agreements made, so the fact that he just chose to turn up so unexpectedly doesn’t sit right with you. Not anymore, that is. Besides, you had both agreed to do this after your workday ended as opposed to midday and definitely not in this place. Now, you have to brace yourself for coping with a foul mood on top of whatever else the rest of the day would throw at you.

“You’ve got a visitor,” Rachel announces quietly in a sing-song voice from behind the reception desk as you approach. She doesn’t bother masking the giddiness in her tone and you struggle to work up as genuine of a smile as you can when she nods her head towards the waiting area.

“Thanks, Rach.”

“Bet he must be so happy your redeployment to the Baltimore offices was cut short so quickly,” she coos.

“Sure is. We’re still on for tonight?” you ask quickly in an attempt to drive attention away from the subject before she can try to lead into it too far for your own comfort at the moment.

Rachel’s smile falters a little, her expression somewhat quizzical. “Don’t you want to postpone so you could spend some time with him? You only just got back yesterday, after all.”

You swallow uncomfortably before shrugging. “We’ve got plenty of time to do that. So tonight, okay? I’ll catch you later.”

“Your call. See you then, Y/N!”

You only had just a split second to brace yourself for what is ahead of you, so you draw in a breath then slowly exhale it as discreetly as you can while cutting your way across the lobby. Since agreeing to this meeting, you prepared yourself as best as you could, imagining every single scenario and devising the appropriate plan for it: from the way you presented yourself to what you said, you had a mental plan for everything including a few backups just in case. The only thing you hadn’t factored in, apparently, was how little was under your control and you hated that. Each step you take made you feel less and less prepared for what is ahead, and the thought rattles you. If you were swift enough on your feet, you could just about make a quick turn and dip into the hallway leading to the visitor restrooms. All you need is just a few more seconds. A little alone time for you to run over your lines in your head.

Except—

Mat looks up at the same time you take a step sideways, ready to bolt towards temporary safety. His eyebrows rise a little as if surprised by the sight of you, but you refuse to appear outwardly deflated by the turn of events. Instead, you square your shoulders, tip your head back a little and arch an eyebrow. You can do this. You note he is dressed casually, and his hair is pushed back underneath a black cap.

Unless there was a change in schedule, Thursdays were scrimmage days.

Your jaw clenches ever so slightly as you recall that with so much ease. Then again, you basically built up a collection of information that was practically helpful or useful to exactly no one over the course of the past few years. It’ll probably take just as much or maybe more to replace that with something different, so you try cutting yourself some slack whenever you are willing to.

“I thought we agreed on five thirty,” you state coolly, pitching your voice at just the right tone to also express surprise.

Mat pushes up from the armchair, returning whatever magazine he’d picked up back on the nearby glass table. “Sorry, I tried calling earlier this morning to ask if we can reschedule but it went straight to voicemail.”

Oh. You mentally curse yourself for not charging your phone as soon as you made it home from the airport the previous night or bothering to check the voicemail message you’d been notified of once it did begin charging earlier this morning at your desk.

“They rescheduled the viewing of the new arena for this evening, and I was in the area, so I thought I’ll drop by just in case,” Mat continues, throwing a cursory glance around the place though to you, it seemed more like a way of having a break from the eye contact. You don’t complain; you welcome that.

You open your mouth, ready to berate his poor timing but even you could admit you carry some fault here too. Only a little. You bite down lightly on the tip of your tongue, before nodding towards the seats though you didn’t wait for Mat; you sit, deciding he could make up his own mind if he wanted to follow or not.

“How was Baltimore?” he asks after a few moments of awkward silence while settling in the same armchair he previously occupied.

“Mat,” you say, hoping it comes across as more of a warning than a plea. You can’t deal with small talk and a part of you thinks that’d make the entire deal even more difficult to go through with. He presses his lips together into a thin line and you take that as your sign to continue. “Elise told me she’d like us to be at the venue a day in advance of the rehearsal dinner if we can. I’ve already arranged my leave for that, so it’s not a problem for me. I’m planning on making my way there sometime tomorrow afternoon.”

“We can go together then. I can pick you up after work.”

“There’s no need—”

“Y/N.” The sharpness of his tone catches you off guard and you can swear Mat was equally surprised by that, though only for the briefest of moments. He slides forward a little in the seat almost as if he is more than ready to leave but Mat has never been one to back down so easily and you doubt any of that changed during the course of the past three months or so. “You were the one who insisted we go through with this and I’m trying. I really am, but you’re not giving me anything to work with. So please. Let’s just put everything to the side, do what we need to do and then it’s done.”

Done. Like it is a task, like it is something you needed to cross off a to-do list, scrunch it up then trash it.

The finality of the word is so heavy that it feels as if it had managed to knock out all the air in your lungs. You and Mat were running headfirst towards a fork in the road, and deep down you knew that was truly it. If until now the two of you have been dancing around each other, playing pretend as if you were kids living in a world of fantasy, you know that eventually, you have to let light shine on the truth: whatever lay ahead, you and Mat could no longer walk the same paths. It is just a matter of admitting it not only to yourselves, but also to the people you were lying to.

Lying for, you prefer.

Defeated, you slump in your own seat a little, legs crossing and fingers tapping lightly against the back of your notebook. “Be at my place by two. I’ll have everything that I need ready the night before so we won’t need to wait around.” A pause, and then, “how’s Tito?”

Mat lifts a shoulder in a casual shrug. “Excited. Nervous. It’s the only thing he talks about in the locker, outside of it, on ice and off ice. How’s Elise?”

“Same deal with her. I never knew there were so many shades of blue before, but I’ve been proven wrong before.”

A pause follows that could easily be attributed to the group of people rushing into the building and allowing noise from the street outside to filter in while the doors were kept open, but you can tell there is more to it than that if you are to go by the shift in Mat’s expression. His expression changes and you find you can’t quite read into it or guess what could be going on through his head. You try not to focus much on the little voice inside your mind that was bothered by it but find it takes a considerable amount of effort to do so. Force of habit, you conclude.

“You don’t say,” Mat finally responds. There is a hint of accusation in his tone. Or regret. Maybe both.

Your lips press together firmly, a light frown forming on your face but chose to let that slide. Not only is the lobby of your workplace the least suitable place to have an argument about the two of you, but you find that even those short moments of seeing Mat face to face months after you called it quits appears to take a toll on you. You feel tired, worn out and willing to be the first one to back down for once.

It is cruel irony that a big red neon EXIT sign is visible from the corner of your eye.

You release a quiet, long sigh then stand up from the seat. “Well, I guess we’re done here? I do have another meeting to prepare for, so…” You trail off, already backing away a few steps.

Mat opens his mouth as if ready to say something else but promptly presses his lips together, deciding against it. He gives a swift nod of his head then stands up. It’s then you notice the two Styrofoam cups in front of him and the neon EXIT sign imprinted in your mind starts flashing temptingly at you. Mat is a step ahead. He holds out one of the cups towards you and you are ready to tell him off for it, but he cut in.

“Thought I wouldn’t drop by empty handed.” When you don’t make a move to accept it, his eyes briefly peek behind you. “Rachel’s all eyes this way, by the way,” he informs you and a brief glance over your shoulder confirms Mat hasn’t been lying.

As soon as you turn to look towards the reception desk, Rachel grins, waves quickly at you then turns back to her computer screen. Begrudgingly, you accept the cup of coffee and force a tight smile.

“See you soon,” you say by way of greeting and didn’t wait to hear a response from Mat.

It isn’t until you scan your pass to cross the security barriers and make a turn out of sight that you take a sip from the drink and almost immediately wish you didn’t. It’s your order to a T. The two of you even brought a coffee machine that would let you replicate it on days when you didn’t feel like leaving the comforts of your apartment, especially days when Mat didn’t need to get up early for practices or scrimmages or evening games. It stayed with Mat when you left and the memory left a bitter taste in your mouth, despite the gentle sweetness of the beverage.

Without thinking twice, you throw the cup in the nearest trash can.

As soon as your order is set on the table, you ignore the basket of fries and reach straight for your glass to take a long sip from the straw, letting out a content sigh as soon as you felt satiated enough.

“Long day,” you state in response to Rachel’s raised eyebrows but she seems to accept that by raising her own glass. You clink yours against hers, take a smaller sip then set it back down on the table. “What time do you think you’ll make it over to the hotel?”

“Well, I was thinking of trying to get there by midday on the day of the rehearsal dinner but it’s starting to look more like late afternoon. I’m…” She trails off, and you can just about pick up on her hesitation and the way her gaze shifts over to the side momentarily as if avoiding something or considering whether to continue that. You move in your seat, peeling your back away from the plush backrest to lean in a little closer.

“You’re…” you trail off, voice peaking just a little into a question in an attempt to prompt her to continue.

Rachel takes a deep breath in, shoulders visibly drooping and when she looked back at you, she did so with a look that could only reflect…shame? Embarrassment?

“Luke and I are sort of thinking of coming along together.” At the sight of your widened eyes, she quickly adds, “just as friends! We’re still working out through a few things and we’re taking it slow. As in, much, much slower than the first time around.”

“No way! That’s… Rach, that’s so good. I’m happy for you both, seriously.”

You find that you truly believed that, though it wasn’t a surprise to you. You had introduced Rachel to Luke while she visited you in Baltimore and at the time, he worked with you there also. Initially, you didn’t think much of it - you simply invited her to come along to a few after work drinks and the two kicked it off easily that night. Very easily apparently, because as the night started coming to an end, Rachel prompted you to go ahead without her. Ready to say you weren’t going to leave her own her own, you shortly found out exactly why: you watched with plenty of amusement and fascination as she and Luke climbed into a taxi together and whizzed off to his place, undoubtedly. That was pretty much their start and continuation. Her visits to Baltimore were more frequent and though you were seeing her often enough, it definitely wasn’t as much as Luke saw of her. And you were fine with that. They fit almost perfectly and it only took a few more meetings for them to label themselves as a couple.

Things began crumbling as soon as Luke had moved to the New York office just a few weeks before your own return. While he seemed fine with the idea of Rachel working in the same place, that wasn’t also her take on things.

“It’s weird,” she told you through the phone. “It just… It’s so weird. I’d be seeing him at my place or his and in the office? No thanks. That’s way too much for me, you know?”

It made sense, of course, and though you rooted for them, you didn’t want to push her into something she wasn’t comfortable with. Yet, there was a tremble to her voice, a sort of uncertainty that made you think otherwise. It wasn’t that Rachel didn’t have any feelings for him - maybe she was simply shocked to see him walk through those glass doors one morning to pick up his brand new ID and claim what would soon become his permanent desk across from yours.

“Thanks,” she tells you, pulling you back into the present. “But like I said, slow and easy does it. We’ve been talking more and that makes a huge difference.”

“For sure. If communication isn’t the backbone of a relationship, I don’t know what is,” you agree and wasn’t that ironic? You’re hardly in the position of giving any relationship advice at all or saying what is good for one and what isn’t. Not anymore. Not when your own had fallen apart.

Rachel grins. “You’d know. You and Mat have been together for… how long now?”

You should’ve seen it coming a mile away. You swallow uncomfortably, take another sip of your drink and take a few fries just to buy yourself a little more time. “Maybe four years? Don’t really keep track of that anymore,” you said as casually as you could muster, lifting your shoulders in a shrug.

“I think I’d stop doing that eventually too at the rate you two are going. Honestly, I would’ve bet anything you would’ve been the first to tie the knot. Actually, thinking about it,” she says, clicking her fingers in recollection, “Elise said the same thing to me the other day when we caught up on the phone. She went—“

You don’t really register her words. There is a low ringing in your ears and an uncomfortable draft sweeps in the locale as the entrance door somewhere behind you is being kept open, no doubt a large group making their way in; it sends shivers down your body, but really, you are pretty sure you can’t only attribute them to a brief gust of wind. After all, your sweater is keeping you sufficiently cosy and warm. In front of you, Rachel continues praising your relationship with Mat, talking about how anyone took a look at you both and would say, whatever they have going, I want it too and you are trying so, so hard to block out as much as you can of it. You can stop her, of course; distract her with whatever random topic and you know she’d go with it but your jaw is locked in place, teeth clenched uncomfortably. You blame that and the way your nails dig into the palms of your hands on the sting behind your eyes and the sudden heaviness weighting down on your chest.

It isn’t so much the pain of your relationship ending that was rendering you in a state of daze, but the shame of what you and Mat agreed to do: pretend the two of you were still the happy couple Elise, Tito and everyone else thought of you as just to not spoil whatever luck they thought you’d be passing on to them by being their main witnesses. And then, once the event passes and they would return to New York from the honeymoon you and Mat would soon gift to them on their wedding day, you’d tell them the truth. Or part of it anyway. Definitely no mentions that the two of you were childish enough to play pretend; just a simple, clean break timed just perfectly with your request to be permanently redeployed elsewhere. Preferably, as far from New York City as possible so that you no longer have to walk the streets you once both did or yearn to once again visit that perfect pie place the two of you once dubbed your own.

“We’re not together anymore.”

The words stumble out of your mouth in a desperate now or never manner. Despite the anxiousness that came with the act, you find relief in it also. It feels freeing to be able to admit the truth to someone that isn’t only yourself though perhaps you should’ve thought of this more carefully: the idea of now needing to come fully clean to Rachel is somewhat daunting, mostly because of what she might say in response to the front you and Mat are trying to uphold. But for the first time in what feels like too long, you no longer feel like a fraud; like a person lying to everyone around them.

“Wait.” Rachel frowns, and it was obvious she doesn’t quite know what to do with that information or how to best process it. Her head tilts a little, palm idly rubbing against the side of her neck so you take the initiative to come across as unbothered by this as possible by leaning into the seat, legs crossing as you fiddled with the drink’s straw. “What? I’m confused. Didn’t Mat just drop by earlier? You two seemed okay. He was…fine when he came in. We didn’t talk much, sure, but he was all smiley and just…normal.”

You laugh quietly and shortly. “It’s been a while now. Maybe two or three weeks before I left for Baltimore, I think. It’d be pretty worrying if he was still hung up about it. After all, we both agreed on it. And this,” you add, a little more disheartened and embarrassed. “This…thing we’re doing. We promised Tito and Elise we’ll be there for them on their big day and we will. But they had this… I guess, idea of us being an ideal couple. Whatever that is,” you continue more quietly and with a roll of your eyes. “He wanted to tell Tito, but I didn’t want to spoil Elise’s day, you know? So he agreed. Took some convincing because it feels so… Gosh, it sounds so stupid, doesn’t it? Pretending we’re still together just to spread some fake cheer around.”

“Oh, honey…” Rachel whispers and you read the sympathy in her voice. Not that she makes it particularly difficult to take note of. “But… I thought everything was okay. Actually, way more than okay. Perfect, even. What…uh—“ She trailed off awkwardly, but you could easily fill in that gap.

What happened?

You bring the beverage to your mouth, this time drinking from the glass directly as opposed to using the straw. The mixer stings your throat this time around but the small ice cube you take into your mouth numbs it away pretty quickly. Slowly, you chew it to small pieces and speak only when you finish it.

“I thought long and hard about this the first few weeks after we called it quits,” you admit. “We always talked about what bothered us or if there was something on our mind, but at one point we just… We stopped wanting to compromise. When I was put forward for Baltimore, it was going to be a permanent thing. Mat was happy, sure, but I could tell he wasn’t being entirely honest with me, you know? When I called him out on it, he asked me well what about us? And I said we’d be fine. Baltimore isn’t a different continent. It’s not even a different timezone. He could come over when he had free time and if he didn’t, I’d always spend weekends in New York anyway. It’s Baltimore, Rach. Not fucking San Francisco or whatever. Eventually, he told me exactly what was on his mind: he couldn’t do long distance. Not even for a short period of time while I figured out if Baltimore is really what I wanted. Isn’t it a bit hypocritical, though?” You question, but it’s clear Rachel feels a bit awkward about giving her take on it right now, so you make it easier for her by responding to your own question. “I felt lonely too when he was on the road. I was worried he’d find someone different, someone much better while away. He never gave me a reason to doubt him, but a small part of me still thought what if. This happened right before he was on the road again, actually. We didn’t call, barely even texted those weeks and then when he returned, we decided it’d be best to break up. Didn’t take us a long discussion to get to that conclusion because at that point, it just… I don’t know. It felt like we didn’t have much to say to each other.”

Rachel presses her lips together, the frown still on her face and hesitantly, she asks, “who said it first?”

“I did,” you respond without hesitating. “He wanted a break while we work it all out but come on, Rach, a break? Look me in the eyes and tell me people really believe in breaks and they come back to each other as if nothing happened.”

“I mean…” she trails off, pointing at herself by way of explanation. “Look at me and Luke, I guess.”

You shake your head. “Nope. Not the same thing, trust me. This was for the best, Rach. It’s much neater to call it quits. That way, neither of us will feel obliged to hold back if life puts something different ahead of us.” You pause for a moment, teeth biting into your lower lip. “They said they’ll always have me back there if I decide on it, so who knows. Once I wrap up the project their called me back for, I might just take them up on it. Not quite a promotion, but it’ll be a good sidestep and maybe a change of scenery is what I need.”

“And do you think it’s good? What the two of you are doing right now?” Rachel questions, not at all deterred by your weak attempt at trying to divert conversation to a more work related topic. “And I don’t mean it just for Elise and Tito’s wedding, but for you and Mat generally speaking. I mean… the two of you have been together for a pretty long time. Doesn’t it… Isn’t it odd?”

“It’s not normal, that’s for sure,” you confirm. “But it’d be weirder for everyone if we were to tell them we’re no longer together given we’ve been asked to do what we need to do. Rach, promise me this stays between us, okay? Promise. I know how it sounds, I know how it’ll look but trust me on this, okay?”

She fixes you with a sceptical stare, a look that holds yet more questions than certainty but eventually, she nods her head and relief washes over you at the gesture. “I’m sorry it happened, Y/N,” she offers, voice warm and sympathetic as she places a hand on the table palm up. “And I’m sorry you went through it alone.”

You smile softly and reach for it, returning the squeeze she gives you. There is comfort in the gesture, comfort in her words and you find yourself rooting for it, so grateful to have received it. “The worst part is over, but thank you, Rachel. “It means a lot.”

“Feel like carpooling with Luke and I?”

“I’m good,” you assure as you both relax back into your seats. “Elise wants us there the day before the rehearsal. I guess just to have some familiar faces around that aren’t just wedding planners, so Mat and I agreed to go together tomorrow. Promise I won’t lose my shit if our song plays on the radio,” you add jokingly and find yourself laughing along with Rachel.

“What song’s that?”

Too many, you think, although one in particular stands out to you. “Brett Young’s In Case You Didn’t Know.”

A tray containing an assortment of dishes is set on the table and shortly after, an ice cold pitch of sangria accompanies that. Eager to cool down, you reach for one of the empty glasses to pour yourself a drink but Mat’s quicker. He takes them both, filling your glass first before his own. You laugh to yourself and Mat grins at that, briefly looking towards you as he fills his glass. You’re about to take a sip, eager to both quench your thirst and cool down but Mat takes the initiative of initiating a toast by raising his glass a little, elbow resting on the table.

“What’re we toasting for tonight?” You ask, imitating his pose by leaning forward a little. “To our first holiday together? To how perfect the weather’s been so far? To how I mastered paddle boarding way before you did?”

Mat laughs, lowering his head as he did so but when he looked back up at you, he clinked his glass against yours and held it there. “To all of that. To one of the many, many holidays we’ll have together. To this moment right here, to us, to you.” He pauses and the strobe lights of the bar switch from dark blue to hot pink, and the way Mat stares at you in this moment makes your heart race inexplicably. “To how much I love you.”

He takes your breath away. Draws it right out of your lungs and you feel heady. It’s the first summer with Mat, the first I love you from him and it suddenly feels as if this bar is too small for the both of you. You love him, and he loves you too and the only thing you could imagine doing is jumping in his arms but there’s a table between you and sangria topped wine glasses in your hands, and he’s wearing a pristine white shirt that looks incredible against his tanned skinned and there’s a lot of people around (the majority significantly older than both your age and Mat’s combined) so you simply grin and carefully lean forward more, pressing a kiss to his mouth.

“I love you,” you murmur against his lips and even if your voice is low compared to the loud, cheesy country music blasting through hidden stereos, you know Mat catches on to that.

“I love you,” he says right back and before you pull away, he bumps his nose against yours gently, making you giggle.

You both take a sip of your drinks and you smack your lips together, content with the turn of the night.

You and Mat had been dating for a few months, but this was the first time the two of you will spend back to back nights and days together without needing to rush somewhere. Of course, a part of you was anxious about it - while it was easy to spend a few hours together now and then, maybe even the odd night together, it was entirely different being together pretty much all the time. There were habits and quirks you each had that might get in the way, but your worries were soon put to rest. You and Mat had wonderful chemistry together, easily able to spend your time together but also still enjoy each other’s company while doing separate activities. You didn’t want to rush into things and you made no move to do so, but it was ever so easy to imagine what living with Mat would be like. And sure, you were well aware of the fact that it wouldn’t always be sunshine and rainbows; the two of you would eventually transition out of this honeymoon-type period of your relationship, but something told you life would Mat would never bore you. It’d never make you wish for anything different.

“Give me a second,” Mat says and before you could ask him what he meant, he’s out of his seat and you follow him across the bar, a little confused.

He makes his way past the bar, past the pool tables and stops in front of what is undoubtedly a jukebox. Curious, you arch an eyebrow and watch as he fiddles with finding the right amount of change before inserting the coins in the slot. It takes him a while before he finds whatever song it is he wants and it takes enough time for him to make it back to your table before the jukebox and sound system registers the request. You don’t recognise the first few notes at all, much less the accompanying guitar strings but you don’t have time to search your memory for a title.

Mat stops by your side, holding a hand out to you. “Dance with me.” It’s more statement than question and under any circumstances, you may have felt a little awkward about doing this, but it’s the heat of the moment and your giddiness that pushes you to your feet, hand in Mat’s.

The two of you are beaten to an emptier area in the establishment by two other much older couples that were closer to it anyway, and you find that gives you a bit more of a boost also. Mat pulls you to him, wrapping one arm around your waist while holding on to your free hand while you hold on to his shoulder with the other. Your fingers lightly clench and unclench the soft material of his shirt, lowering your head a little and you smile against the back of your hand. It’s so painfully cheesy and there’s nowhere near enough other people dancing along to the song but you love it much more than you thought you ever would.

“Know what I’d invest all my money into?” He asks you suddenly.

You pull back a little, still swaying along with the song. “Cryptocurrency seems like a safe bet right now.”

Mat laughs, that big hearty laugh of his that makes your smile wider and when it passes, he presses a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Well, I’m glad one of us has a good head on their shoulders, but no.” He shakes his head, then laughs again, shorter and quieter as if recalling your response. “A time machine. I want to stop time right here and right now so that we can be as we are for a little while longer.”

“Cheesy,” you joke, despite the warmth coursing across your entire body and the jelly-like feeling forming in your knees. “But perfectly understandable.”

“Eventually, we wouldn’t need it, but it’d be nice to have one for tonight.”

“Eventually? How so?” You question, then narrow your eyes a little, the gesture playful. “You plan on getting bored of me and breaking up?”

“What!” He exclaims and pulls you in just that much closer. He lets go of your hand only so he could bring his to your chin, tipping your head back a little. “Never,” kiss, “say that,” kiss, “again.” The final kiss you share with him is a little longer and you take the liberty of bringing your hand to his chest, palm pressing against it to feel the thump of his heart against his ribcage momentarily. Then, slowly, you graze the tips of your nails along his exposed collarbone and peck his lips once more before pulling away. It’s then that the song’s name and artist comes to your mind, almost as an afterthought. From hidden speakers, Brett Young declares I couldn’t live life without you and Mat gives you a pointed stare. “Damn, he said it before I could.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” you assure him. “Either way, I think I prefer hearing it from you, Barzal.”

“I’m pretty sure I couldn’t live without you,” he recites and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. He sways you both in a more exaggerated manner that makes you cling to him more out of habit than necessity. You’ve known you’d trust Mat with anything, but each day, he seems to do something that makes that thought solidify more and more in your mind. The comfort and safety that brings wraps around you like a warm blanket.

Be it the hot weather, the somewhat stifling interior of the bar, the sips of sangria on an empty stomach, the euphoria of the moment or all things combined, you nod quickly. And from somewhere in the depths of your mind, the very bottom of your heart, you respond with, “I can get used to this day after day. So don’t let me go, baby.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispers, tone full of care and love and warmth. He gives you his promise without hesitation and you know it’s bound to stick.

Your phone buzzes once.

I’m downstairs. Need help with your bags?

You push up from the comfort of your couch and make one last round of your apartment to make sure you had everything you definitely needed from where it was placed.

I’m good. Will be down in a minute, you text back but don’t pocket your phone right away. Instead, you stare at the screen for a little while longer, half tempted to scroll through the thread of messages. They’d provide a stark timeline of when things started going wrong and you would probably be able to see exactly how things changed between the two of you from the moment you suggested a mere break wouldn’t do it. But doing that would be like breaking a streak you had going for sufficient time to earn a pat on your back. The journey of getting to a point where you were sufficiently okay with being in Mat’s presence without any other company was a long one and the last thing you needed was to recall how it once was.

You and Mat started out as friends after Elise introduced the two of you just a short while before he started his professional career with the Islanders. She talked about how the two of them met in school and how great of a guy he was; real down to earth, funny and incredibly ambitious - traits she also assigned to you, and therefore thought the two of you would get along great. She wasn’t wrong about it. You knew a little about hockey, going to games every now and then mostly whenever Elise dragged you along but you found that Mat made the game more enjoyable. He explained it to you in a manner that didn’t make you feel belittled or as if it should be something you already knew of, and didn’t mind explaining some things more than once. On the other hand, you introduced him to your own hobbies and the little world you created for yourself in a city as big and busy as New York. You showed him the more lowkey but homely establishments, including your favourite pizza place that - unbeknown to you at the time - would become yours and his, and even took him to a few student bars where you regularly beat him at pool while he showed off at darts. Occasionally, it felt weird to watch him unwind in such…normal places and ways while on other days, he shone on ice and was easily one of the best rookies emerging from one of the country’s most well known sports leagues. Yet despite that, you found that athlete Mat wasn’t all that different from Mat the person.

He never put a front and his genuine manner was refreshing to you, particularly during a time when you were still a college student and a good portion of the guys around were textbook frat boys. Being around Mat was comfortable and safe. You didn’t feel the need to speak a certain way or be a different person, and retrospectively, the way you felt towards him developed almost organically. You felt yourself gravitating towards him and were pleasantly surprised by the moments when he’d seek you out first. A day off here and a day off there until eventually, you found yourself spending much of your free time with him and vice-versa.

Falling in love with Mat was easy. Being without Mat was difficult. But, thankfully, not impossible apparently.

Convinced you packed everything you needed, made your way out with a duffle bag on your shoulder and a suitcase at your heels.

True to his word, Mat was parked in front of your place and as soon as you pushed open the building’s door, he looked up from his phone and made his way over to you. The last thing you needed was to make the journey any more awkward or difficult for the both of you, so you didn’t argue when he took the bags from you to stow them away in the trunk.

“Are you going across the country?” You ask, peeking into the trunk while he plays Tetris with the bags.

“What?” He questions, evidently distracted by the task at hand but straightens up when you delicately place a hand on his arm, pushing him to the side a little.

“You’d think you’re going across the country for like, two or three weeks rather than a couple of days,” you repeat. “Maybe put that smaller bag sideways? That might let the bigger suitcase fit.”

He follows your guidance and sure enough, that does the trick: the suitcases fit perfectly in the trunk and you grin to yourself, triumphant.

Mat steps back, closing the trunk and brushes his hands together. “Thanks,” he says and you nod, heading towards your seat in the front. He follows you inside just as you click in your seatbelt. “I don’t think it’ll take us more than two or three hours to get there if traffic’s as good as it was when I checked it a little while earlier. Got everything?”

“Everything important that is. Everything else, I’ll just worry about and pull my hair out when we get there,” you tell him and you can’t help feeling proud for being able to keep conversation light and as normal as you can.

After all, you’ve known life before Mat and you’re rediscovering it after him too.

Mat laughs ever so quiet, and from the corner of your eye, you catch him brushing his hand across his mouth though he’s a few seconds too slow in trying to mask his smile.

“I think I’ll need to fill up soon, but let me know if there’s anywhere else you want to stop along the way,” he tells you while pulling out of the parking spot.

You nod even if he probably might not see it and take the liberty to scroll through radio stations. Mat doesn’t seem to be against it, so you continue switching to them until, a little frustrating that nothing seems to work for you, you connect your phone to the car and play one of your playlists. A mix of upbeat pop and an assortment of viral tracks fill in the silence for a while, and the act of singing along in your head takes your mind away from how it almost feels as if you’re sitting on needles. It takes a conscious effort on your behalf to remind yourself to loosen your shoulders and stop fiddling too much with your hands, and you’re glad Mat seems to be plenty preoccupied with driving. Once upon a time, he would’ve immediately picked up on even the most mild of your discomforts and tried to do anything he could to alleviate them. You don’t know how much, if at all, Mat changed during the time you spent apart but you want to think that you no longer wear your heart on your sleeve as much and your emotions are much more guarded, especially in his presence.

Apparently, though, there’s only so much he can take with silence filled in by music because once he’s off busier streets, he leans in his seat more comfortably and you can tell he very briefly turns his head towards you. “Think they’ll like their wedding gift?”

You direct your gaze away from the flashing scenery outside to Mat. “Absolutely. Who wouldn’t like it? Trust me when I say Bali’s been a place Elise always wanted to visit and I can’t think of a better time than now,” you assure him.

“If they don’t, it’s on you,” he says and it takes you a beat longer to realise he’s just joking so you huff out a laugh, relaxing back in the seat.

“If they don’t, they can give one of the tickets to me and I’ll happily go there.” You cast a glare out at the scenery ahead, eyes narrowing upwards towards the overcast sky. “I don’t think summer will ever come at this rate. I’m starting to hate it here.”

“Doubt Baltimore was any better,” Mat points out.

“Hardly,” you sigh. “Maybe I’ll ask them to send me to Miami instead. That’d be much better.”

Mat clears his throat quickly, shifting a little. “So, are you planning on going back to Baltimore or... Why are you back?” You catch sight of the frown forming on his face, and he quickly shakes his head as if trying to rid the hint of accusation from his voice. “That sounded wrong, sorry. But just genuinely curious. I thought a permanent move was on the table?”

“It was. Still is, but they needed me back here to wrap up a project. It was a pretty bad move on their behalf to send me there before we had that wrapped up nice and neat, bow and all, but I guess…” You trail off, shrugging a shoulder. “Guess we’ll see what’s next after that. They do want me back there, though. It just depends how long it takes for things here to fall into place.”

“Fair enough.” Another pause, another moment for him to press his lips together in silent deliberation. He did that often, and you wonder if that remains a habit still. “Was it a promotion? I forgot, sorry.”

“All good,” you assure, brushing off the apology. “Not a promotion per se, but a sidestep with just a slightly bigger paycheck. The office there is a bit smaller than the New York one so maybe there’s a higher chance of getting promoted sooner, but I don’t want to jump the gun on that yet. How did things work out for you guys this season?”

The Islanders had a good season, making the playoffs but fell just short of making the semi-finals, you knew that. After all, you hadn’t removed the Islanders game and news alerts from your phone and you put that on your laziness. You wouldn’t shy away from admitting to him you still followed the team’s progression, but you preferred not to.

“Could’ve been better but there’s lots to learn from it,” Mat tells you and there’s a trace of excitement and determination in his voice. “Next season will be even better, I guarantee.”

It’s a staple Mat response, one he always gave if he felt a game didn’t end in their favour or he didn’t do as much as he thought he should have. Sometimes, it took him some time to accept it. Usually, it came to him after pushing himself in training, after going that extra step in the gym, after re-watching highlights or coach videos and always - always, you’d assure him that it takes a team to move forward, not a single person. Always, he’d kiss you and tell you he loves you and always, you’d spend those moments wrapped up in each other’s arms, more often than not with Mat’s head resting against your chest and your leg slung around his hip.

“Plenty of time to lift that cup, Barzal,” you assure him. “Sure, the sooner the better but there’s always a right time for everything.”

“I hope so,” he agrees pensively, and lingers on that thought.

You let him to it, directing your attention back to the view outside and only now and then picking up your phone either to switch songs or browse through a few applications. A part of you feels almost obliged to try and push for conversation but you avoid doing so. The last thing you need is to make it painfully awkward for the two of you and you figure Mat could always do that himself if he feels like it. So, you let your mind wander to better things - to the upcoming rehearsal and the wedding itself, to how good Elise will look and how Tito will be so proud to watch her walk the aisle towards him. You imagine their reaction to the gift you and Mat contributed towards and smiled to yourself, knowing it was a perfect pick for them both.

You don’t think about telling Elise you and Mat had lied to them. You don’t think about passing this hurdle - the final one before you two will become strangers to one another. You don’t think about how the next time you might both see each other again, you’ll both have such different lives that for a brief moment, the surprise of it will knock the air out of your lungs before you remember: that’s him without me, and this is me without him. And you won’t be the first or the last people to break up, but a part of you is certain what the two of you had was unique and could’ve been grand. So much grander.

You become more alert to your surroundings when he starts slowing the car and you notice you’re pulling up into a gas station. As much as space allows you, you stretch out a little and Mat stops right by one of the pumps.

“Want something for the road?” You ask him, unplugging your phone and taking your card from your bag.

“Hold on, I’ll come with you,” Mat tells you and it doesn’t take long for the refill to happen before you both walk into the station’s store, beelining for the snack aisles even if you have only two hours or so until you reach your destination.

“Oh gosh, those are going to be a nightmare to clean up if you spill any in the car,” you groan quietly as he browses through the variety of Nerds flavours.

“But they’re so good though,” he shoots back and flashes a smile that is nothing short of sly when he picks up two boxes instead of one.

“Yeah, until the flavour runs out literally two seconds after you put them in your mouth. I mean, enjoy that but I’m different,” you boast and pick up a bag of sour candy.

“You just like obliterating your taste buds.”

He’s not wrong. Sour candy and spicy foods are your guilty pleasures, and have been for the longest time. You don’t try to look into how easily he recalls that because, you tell yourself, there’s nothing to look into. It’s a mere fact that anyone who knows you would easily recite.

“You’re wrong and you know it, but admitting that is difficult so it’s fine, Barzal. No hard feelings,” you throw back, snickering as you head over to the fridges for a bottle of cold water. Instinctively, you grab another for him and instinctively, he takes your candy and the water to pay for them but you still tag along with him in the queue.

“No shot. I like some spice but to the point where I literally can’t taste anything else? Hey, remember that one time when you made something… Can’t remember what it was but it was so…” He purses his lips and you laugh because yes, yes you remember it so clearly.

“So good you ended up crying over it?” You offer.

“More like, I wasn’t crying but it was so fucking spicy, Y/N, holy.”

“You survived though, didn’t you?”

“I only did because there isn’t a thing you do I don’t like,” he says and then, seems to catch himself but a second too late. “Didn’t like,” he corrects quietly but the damage is done.

You swallow uncomfortably, directing your gaze away from him but don’t hesitate to nod towards the outside. “I’ll head over to the car. I’ll text Elise to tell her we’re close.”

“Y/N—“

But you’re already taking steps towards the exit and out of ear shot, making a beeline for the car. Your heart thumps rapidly and uncomfortable in your chest and find that pressing a palm to your left side doesn’t make it any better. You know it’s an innocent mistake and there are some habits that die hard, but the way he phrased it triggered your fight or flight instinct instantaneously and despite yourself, you leaned towards the latter. You enter the car and take the time to compose yourself as much as you could. The last thing you need is to have a conversation with Mat about this because you didn’t want to have it - it shouldn’t happen for the sake of avoiding making the situation even more uncomfortable. It was an innocent slip up, no doubt, and you should’ve braced yourself to speak of Mat in present tense as opposed to past tense in the presence of others but it comes to you harder than imagined.

It’s odd how you both once knew so much about each other, everything even, and now the two of you are reduced to dancing around all that and making conscious efforts to keep your conversations as short and banal as possible.

You try and busy yourself with formulating a message to Ellie, one that’s long enough to try and make you seem as busy as possible by the time Mat returns to the car, but every line you wrote, every mini paragraph going into dull details about the trip and where you guys currently are seemed like an overthrow. So, you delete that also and simply text her an OTW just as Mat sets the sweets on the centre console and the bottles in the cup holders.

He doesn’t start the engine immediately and your mood quickly switches to frustration. Sure, you hadn’t handled it in the best way possible but trying to have a conversation about it wouldn’t make it any better. Or at least, it’s just something you didn’t want to have to think about for the remainder of the journey.

But he does just that, because that is what Mat always did: he talked with you.

“I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” he begins, “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. It’s force of habit more than anything else.”

“It’s whatever, Mat, so just move past it. I did, simple as that,” you tell him neutrally.

There’s something in that response he must have not liked because you pick up on his small huff and shortly after, the car starts and you’re both on the road again. This time, with silence between you and an atmosphere so heavy it makes you wish you weren’t speeding down an Interstate just so you could open the window and let some of the air in.

The hotel the wedding will be held at lies in front of you, sprawling and secluded and perfect for an event like this. Tito is already at the entrance and when he spots Mat’s car, he waves quickly while Mat quickly flashes the headlights before pulling into an available parking spot.

“There they are!” Tito says by way of greeting and you walk right into his outstretched arms, hugging him. “Can’t believe so much time passed since we last saw each other. What is it, two months? Three?”

“Three,” you confirm once you pull away so that Mat could hug him also. “It’s good to see you too. Where’s Elise?”

“She wanted to check on some small details and said she’ll meet up with you guys in a bit. So here I am, the welcoming committee,” Tito explained and when he and Mat stepped apart, he reached out to give you another short hug which you accepted. “So how was Baltimore? Don’t suppose you liked it all that much if you’re back so soon. This guy was happy about it,” Tito adds, nodding his head towards Mat who was already busy emptying the trunk.

You press your lips together, displaying a small smile. “Baltimore wasn’t too bad but they missed me here, apparently. Can’t complete a damn thing without my two cents so here I am for now.”

Tito frowns, but the expression is very brief. “For now? We’ll need to talk more about that later so Barzy doesn’t mope around as much as he did back then.”

You throw a quick glance towards Mat but he’s looking away towards whatever interesting spot on the ground he found, pointedly ignoring you. “I’ll have a word with him about it later,” you tell Tito lightly and together, the three of you make your way inside, towards the reception.

“I think Elise is in the room at the end of the corridor if you want to say hi,” Tito informs you and you jump at the opportunity.

You follow the corridor, making a right turn and continuing along the dimly lit hallway leading to what the signs informed you to be Conference Room 1. The door is slightly ajar and you begin picking up on the buzz of activity coming from within and soon enough, you’re face to face with a spacey room boasting an array of flowers and various arrangements tastefully decorating tables and drooping down from the ceiling. No doubt, the effect will be lovely during the night when colourful neon lights can be turned on. You spot Elise easily: she’s in the midst of the room with what is undoubtedly the scrapbook of ideas she’d been carefully putting together since Tito asked her to marry him. Outwardly, she’s all smiles and laughter but you can imagine the amount of effort and planning putting all of this together and working with planners takes.

When she spots you, she squeals in excitement, sets her book down and dashes across the room to engulf you in a hug, making you stumble a few steps back.

You burst into laughter and wrap your arms around her, squeezing her with just enough force to try and communicate how much you missed her but not so that it was uncomfortable.

“I missed you! You’re here!” She exclaims, stepping back to look at you in disbelief then hugging you again. “Oh my gosh, I’m so happy you’re here! Where’s Mat? Is he here too?”

“Of course he is,” you assure her with a laugh. “I missed you too.” You throw a curious glance towards the room over her shoulder, nodding your head towards it. “How’s it going? Need me to take over for a bit?”

“Maybe later. Definitely later. Come on.” She wraps an arm around yours and leads the way out of the room, undoubtedly back to the reception area where you left Mat and Tito. “Please tell me Baltimore is off the table. FaceTime is fine, sure, but it’s not great, you know? I need the real deal next to me. Besides, I’m not sure if you heard, but Mat wasn’t Mat without you.”

“So I heard, but forget about us!” You said in a desperate attempt to try and steer attention away from the subject. “Tell me about how everything’s going. Are you still nervous about it? Because trust me, Elise - you have absolutely nothing to be nervous of. What I’ve heard of so far and what I’ve seen will make it the absolute best day, surely.”

“Of course I’m nervous,” she tells you and to demonstrate, she holds her free hand in front of you and sure enough, there’s just a slight tremble to it. “Please lend me some of those nerves of steel of yours, Y/N, I’d do anything to have even a small percentage of them right now.”

“Pft, as if. Those are all show, trust me.”

“I’ll take even that. Oh, Mat!” She greets as soon as the two of you reach the reception area and Elise spots Mat.

Much like you and Tito, they hug and when she steps back, she immediately stands next to Tito who doesn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. They exchange a quick kiss and you smile at the happiness and bliss they’re clearly surrounded by.

It’s the slight pressure on your lower back that makes you jolt a little on the spot and it’s then you realise Mat had gently placed his hand there to encourage you a little closer. It takes effort on your behalf to follow his guidance but you move towards him, though you wish you could physically wince at how undoubtedly stiff the two of you must look. Or hopefully, not greatly so because neither Tito nor Elise comment on it or shoot you any funny looks as the four of you engage in brief conversation, mainly surrounding the trip here and any other guests they expect to receive today.

You don’t hang around much, though. Elise’s phone begins buzzing incessantly and she’s whisked away by the message received, but not before she fixes you with a pointed stare and demands the two of you have drinks later in the evening. Tito follows her also, even if he informs you and Mat that he feels as if he’s running around in the right places only because of Elise and the wedding planners, but you encourage him on by joking he could maybe turn a few candles on the tables this way or that for some extra oomph.

“I can’t imagine how she does it,” you admit to Mat once the elevator doors slide shut soundlessly and the car begins moving upwards to your floor.

“Pretty sure it’s not that big of a deal to her, given what all this is leading to,” Mat tells you and you detect a hint of detachment in his voice.

You don’t welcome it, of course you don’t, but you choose to not point that out to him. The last thing you want is an argument to break out the relatively okay mood the two of you have managed to hold, recent events that could be erased from memory aside. Instead, you simply stand back quietly, eyes glued on the red digital numbers aside until they come to a halt on the ninth floor where the elevator stops and you’re both left in a silent, dimly lit hallway.

Mat has the key to the apartment Elise told you the two of you would be in and just before tapping in, he hands you your own copy of it. Up until this very moment, you hadn’t thought very much of the overnight arrangements. You were pretty sure you meant to ask Elise a bit more about them at some point but both your attention and hers were pulled in different directions and here you were, stepping into your place for the next couple of nights, Mat trailing a little behind you.

You stop, arms folding across your chest and you feel Mat stop somewhere close behind you, looking into one room.

“I didn’t think this through,” you state neutrally.

Ahead of you lay only one bed.

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl fic #*#the synopsis sucks but i'm bad at short summaries lol #i had this idea since i first joined hockeyblr and i'm happy to have finally found the motivation to write it #anyway i have a vague idea for some scenes #and there will probably be three MAYBE four parts to it

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