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eddie-sweetheart · 2 years

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🏕 Camp Lovers Lake - Chapter Two 🏕

An Eddie Munson x Female Reader summer camp story. Set just before the beginning of season 3 of Stranger Things, with a few diversions from the original plot of the series.

🏕 Chapters List

Pairing and tropes • Eddie Munson x Female Reader - fluff, forced proximity, slightly slow burn, summer camp clichés ♥︎

Summary • June, 1985. Close to the city of Hawkins, Indiana, the placid waters of Lovers Lake stand as the perfect background for the homonymous summer camp, where you’re about to be a counselor for the last time before senior year and then, hopefully, college. Your brother Dustin Henderson won’t be with you this year, as he’s chosen to attend Camp Know Where until July - but with your best friend Robin Buckley at your side and the unexpected addition of Steve Harrington to your duo, the upcoming months seem to promise endless fun and exciting adventures nonetheless. However, as you get closer to Eddie Munson, resident metalhead and drug dealer who’s been forced by his uncle to work at Camp Lovers Lake after another missed graduation, your plans for the summer might have to go in a completely different direction.

Warnings • Cursing, possible mentions and/or depictions of violence, sexually suggestive language. Having no idea where this is going myself, you’ll need to be 18+ to read this fic just in case!

Chapter notes • Here we are with a bit more Eddie action :) Couldn't wait any longer to post it, so I really hope you like it!!

Chapter word count: 5.2k

Being a counselor at a summer camp is great, honestly: spending time with your friends surrounded by nature and doing all different kinds of activities with little to no supervision from the directors team really outweighs the inconvenience of having to keep an eye on a few dozens of overexcited and hyperactive kids - since, as it goes without saying, setting up bonfires and going on hiking trips is not the full extent of fun tasks that keep counselors occupied.

In that same set of tasks, however, mandatory kitchen duty is included - and it surely isn’t the most entertaining one.

“Amazing” Robin groans as she checks the daily schedule pinned outside the Headquarters, a piece of peanut butter and jam sandwich still in her hand from breakfast. “Kitchen duty. All day”.

You lean closer to the board from behind her back, making some space for yourself as a few other counselors move away to get started on their assignments. “At least we’re together” you observe, patting Robin’s back. “Just imagine if you had to mince onions and clean dirty dishes with Jason Carver”.

Robin shivers in disgust. “I still wonder why he and his fellow jock friends would bring their annoying selves here and not at some sort of sports gathering for stupid, pumped-up boys”.

“Guess they didn’t get admitted” you reply with a shrug, “and I also guess we don’t want to be kicked out. We’re late already, let’s go”.

You slightly tug on Robin’s t-shirt to bring her away from the board and she follows you with a groan, moping behind you as you both make your way to the back of the Headquarters.

The kitchen is placed, in fact, next to the meeting room, and it faces the woods surrounding the camp. It’s small but well furnished, complete with a full pantry that is locked at all times due to the numerous (and, sometimes, successful) attempts at secretly grabbing a snack that often send the young campers on nightly missions. The counselors, instead, have full access to the pantry keys during the day, as they have always proved themselves to be quite responsible in terms of food management - their attention being completely dedicated, unbeknownst to the directors, to the secret alcohol stash that is hidden by three planks on the farther left corner of the room’s floor.

As soon as you and Robin enter the kitchen, indeed, your eyes momentarily travel to that exact spot, as you wonder when the first night-drinking meeting with the other counselors will occur - but Mrs. Janet, the cook, is quick to get you and your friend’s attention.

“Good morning, kids” Mrs. Janet begins, attentively eyeing the two of you and another couple of guys that have been assigned to kitchen duty as well. “This morning, we need to get everything ready for lunch by 12. You-“ she says, pointing at the boys at your side, “will prepare the sandwiches and afternoon snacks for group A, which is going on a hike later. You two, instead, will help me with the mac and cheese and fruit salad for group B and C” she concludes, nodding at you and Robin.

The following hours go by faster than you would have thought. You spend your time chatting with Robin, washing and cutting up apples, pears and peaches, and Mrs. Janet even lets you turn the radio on for a little while. Every now and then, your eyes go over the clock above the fridge and soon you’re delighted to find out that it’s finally 11:55.

“Good job, everyone” Mrs. Janet exclaims, clapping her hands as she goes over your stations to examine the results of your efforts. “Boys, pack those sandwiches and take them over to Harrington. He’ll make sure the kids will have them safe and sound in their backpacks. You girls, follow me” she adds, grabbing the pot where the mac and cheese has been cooking so far and heading towards the main building through a door in the back of the room. “We’ll set the table, serve everyone and then you can go on break”.

“Yes Ma’am” you and Robin reply in unison, following her into the large room and taking all the plates and cutlery you need from a chest of drawers near the kitchen door.

As you quickly set up the long wooden tables, the Headquarters start filling up with kids and counselors from groups B and C. Group A, along with Steve and three other counselors, is nowhere to be seen, as they must be already on their afternoon hike around the lake.

You and Robin take your place behind a table set up for the occasion near the kitchen, opposite to the main door of the dining room. Robin is in charge of spooning up the mac and cheese and serving it to the campers that are starting to line up in front of your station, while you have to carefully place one tiny bowl packed with the fruit you’ve cut on everyone’s tray.

Much to your displeasure, after having served the majority of the campers, you’re met with the arrogant stare of Jason Carver and two of his inseparable goons, Andy and Patrick, who look like they have been copy-pasted from their self-declared leader: with their camp t-shirt sleeves rolled up to their shoulders, backwards baseball hats and mean sneers, they fill the air around you with the strong smell of their hairspray and aftershave.

“Hello, ladies” Jason debuts, staring Robin straight in her eyes. “Could we have some mac and cheese, please?” He asks, in an apparently polite tone.

“Sure” Robin replies, a fake smile plastered on her face that she extends in Patrick’s direction, as well. The guy lowers his gaze, shying away from her inquisitive stare. You don’t bother to look, taking a deep breath as you patiently wait for them to head over to you for their fruit and, finally, go away.

“Thanks” Jason replies, as Robin serves the three boys, dropping the food a bit too sharply on their plates.

They should be going now, but Jason doesn’t move. The other two intently look at him, waiting for his next move.

“Can we have some more?” He says, now reciprocating Robin’s fake smile.

“I’m so sorry” Robin replies, dropping any façade of politeness, “but you’ll have to come back later to see if there’s any left. We have to feed everyone first”.

Jason’s glare turns into ice. “I said” he repeats, his tone cold and determined, “Can we have some more, please?”

Robin puts her free hand on her hip, pointing the dirty spoon at him ready to get her say, but you can’t hold your annoyance in anymore - so you reply, first.

“Who do you think you are, Oliver Twist?” You burst out to him, earning a rageful glare from Jason and a surprised stare from Patrick, Andy and Robin as well.

Jason is about to argue back, but his reply is interrupted by some snickering further down the line of campers that are still waiting for their lunch. Both your gaze and Jason’s follow the noise and you catch a glimpse of Eddie Munson and Gareth, who are poorly trying to hide their giggles.

“Do you have something to say, freaks?” Jason barks at them, his neck and cheeks violently blushing.

Eddie Munson turns slowly towards him, the dark, curly hair framing his face waving lightly with the movement. “Oh, no, Carver” he replies with a full-on, mischievous grin, a heavily ringed hand placed flat on the table as he leans forward, “it’s just that red looks so good on you” he adds, clearly hinting at the blotches of reddened skin that are covering the jock’s features.

Jason blushes even more, just as his rage becomes more palpable, but this time he does not engage: he directs another burning glare in your direction and then turns around to walk away and sit at the counselors table, Patrick and Andy loyally following him. On his way to the table, however, Patrick looks at you with a clearly annoyed expression, that you pretend to ignore completely.

The rest of the queue finally runs smoothly again and everyone, Eddie and Gareth included, get their food and go on with their lunch.

— 🏕 —

“What was that?”

You turn your head towards Robin, covering your eyes with your free hand to protect them from the strong sunlight. In the other hand, you’re holding the second ham and cheese sandwich that you’ve managed to snatch from the leftover pile in the kitchen - that is, your lunch for today.

“What do you mean?” You ask her back, your feet dangling nervously in the water beyond the edge of the pier, where you’ve been sitting for the first half of your two-hour break.

Robin sighs before biting down on her own sandwich. “You know exactly what I mean” she says with her mouth full, “that thing you did with Jason back there”.

You shrug. “I didn’t like his attitude, and I believe he shouldn’t always be allowed to get away with it” you state, avoiding the inquisitive gaze of your friend. “He’s just… so arrogant and entitled, it drives me crazy. Plus, I only made a comment” you add, “I didn’t insult him or anything”.

Silence falls between the two of you, the only sound in the background being the chirping of the birds, the rustling of the leaves on the trees and the distant echoing of the kids’ laughs and excited screams.

You finish your sandwich and lay down on the smooth wooden surface of the pier, your feet still dangling in the fresh water of Lovers Lake. Robin does the same and you two keep quiet for a few minutes, enjoying the summer sounds around you.

Then, Robin turns her head towards you and speaks again. “It would be totally normal not to be indifferent to Patrick, you know” she tentatively observes, “I mean, I would still be mad at him, if I were you. He treated you like shit and I would completely understand if you wanted to tear him apart every time you see him - hell, I want to tear him apart for how he behaved”.

You smile at Robin’s demonstration of loyalty and when she notices, she smiles too.

“I guess I’m still not over the anger, yeah” you finally admit, frustratingly kicking one foot in the water and causing little droplets to rain on your legs. “I just don’t understand how he can hang out with that… gang, and with Jason. He completely changed and now he’s so… mean, he’s even worse than Billy Hargrove” you blurt out.

Robin looks at you in surprise. “I hate Patrick too, but… How can he be worse than Billy Hargrove? I don’t even think that’s possibile, that boy is evil”

You pick at your nails before letting out a sigh, that actually sounds more like a giggle. “Well…” you whisper, “at least Hargrove is hot”.

Robin smacks her hands on her face with a groan, as you let out a heartfelt laugh.

“God, I swear that you heterosexuals are surely one piece of work” she states, looking at you with surrender in her friendly eyes as she extends one hand to hold yours. “But apart from that, you know we can always find the time to talk shit about your ex boyfriend, right?”

You squeeze her hand and lightly nod your head, as the flashes of your past relationship with Patrick quickly go through your mind once more.

You met Patrick when you were both sophomores, as you shared a few classes together. At the end of the year, he finally worked up the courage to ask you on a date - and, happily, you said yes.

During the summer before junior year, you started going out more and more often, until one day he kissed you outside the cinema, after the 8 pm screening of Firestarter - which he had chosen specifically because you had confessed to him your love for Stephen King.

He had the honor of being your first date, your first “real” kiss (as you had decided that pecking your freshman crush on the lips for less than one second during a round of spin the bottle at a birthday party didn’t count), even your first time. And even if later you had to admit to Robin that you kind of expected sex to be way more satisfying and longer than 10 minutes, it was still a nice memory to share with him. So, you went as far as to say that you loved him - and, apparently, he reciprocated.

But as soon as September 1984 came and he joined the basketball team, everything changed. Suddenly, on the first day of fall, he started ignoring you, avoiding you in the hallways while he talked with his new athlete friends and flirted with the cheer squad.

After two full days spent in bed crying your eyes out (Robin still swears that you could have replaced them with two ping pong balls and no one would have noticed the difference), you managed to confront him, earning a laugh and a break up in response. No explanation, no apology.

Since that day, every time he accidentally crossed your path in the corridors he was always met with a burning gaze - until it cooled down in an icy stare, and you finally moved on.

His new popularity and attitude, however, made him insufferable still, so it was no surprise that having to see him and his new friends here at camp could sometimes stir some anger-fueled feelings in you - especially since you have always suspected that Jason Carver and the rest of the basketball team have played more than a side role in Patrick’s behavior towards you.

But, as Robin has just told you, it’s okay to feel like this. And this closeness, this feeling of knowing that you have a friend that sees you and understands you with no judgment in any shape or form brings a wave of gratitude to your chest.

“Thank you” you tell Robin, squeezing her hand once more.

“That’s what friends are for” she replies, squeezing back.

“How long do we have left?” You wonder, finally extracting your sunglasses from the front pocket of your shorts and putting them on, as the early afternoon light has now become unbearable.

Robin quickly glances at her wrist watch. “Half an hour or so” she states with a yawn.

“Cool” you reply stirring your arms, your skin glittering in the summer sun. “Let’s get some more fresh air before we have to get back in that hole of a kitchen”.

— 🏕 —

The rest of the day goes by at a reasonable pace.

Around 3 pm, you and Robin head back to the kitchen and help Mrs. Janet get everything ready for dinner, which is held later on at 6 pm. Thankfully, this time it’s the boys’ turn to serve the campers in the Headquarters, so you and Robin get to enjoy a quiet meal in the kitchen, away from the echoing noise of the kids in the main room.

This, however, means that you are now both on dishwashing duties. There is no dishwasher to help you in your task, so you have to do everything by hand - but it isn’t as bad as it sounds, because Mrs. Janet leaves you the keys and lets you finish everything up by yourselves, the best excuse to keep on chatting and listening to the radio.

And that’s exactly what you’re doing - jamming and singing to Beat Itby Michael Jackson with your arms elbow-deep into soapy, warm water - when you’re startled by a knock on the kitchen door.

“Good evening, you two” Steve’s voice greets you as he makes his appearance in the room, leaning against the door frame with one hand propped up on his waist.

“Glad to hear you’ve refrained from calling us ladies” Robin replies sarcastically, but she smiles at him nonetheless. “We’ve surely had enough of that for 24 hours”.

Steve sighs and rolls his eyes, moving away a strand of hair from his handsome and slightly sunburnt face as he comes into the room, grabs an empty glass and fills it with water from a bottle on the counter. “And here I was, all kind and polite, planning to ask you how your day was”.

“Besides a close encounter with Carver and his gang and the endless entertainment of kitchen duty, it was actually fine” you reply, moving away from the sink and grabbing towel to dry out the few remaining dishes you’ve carefully cleaned up. “How was the hike? Made any new friends?”

“It was extremely hot, but it was fine” Steve replies, sipping on the water, “I was teamed up with a few girls and another kid, Jeff. He’s a bit weird, but seems cool - he’d get along with Dustin I think”.

“It’s cute how you go around dashing that smile to every breathing female just to end up befriending children” Robin jokes with a sneer, putting a pile of clean trays away on a shelf.

“Teenagers” Steve clarifies before smirking in her direction with a playful expression in his eyes as he straightens up. “So you think I’m cute and my smile is dashing?” He questions her, causing Robin to immediately look away muttering a low “Ew” to herself.

Your chatter is interrupted by a sudden noise coming from outside. You can’t hear very well what’s going on, but it seems like some of the kids are screaming in the proximity of the lake. You all know it’s surely nothing to worry about, as things like pranks and dares happen almost everyday, but Steve moves towards the door nonetheless, inquisitively gazing into the early night.

“I think I’ll go check that out. Anyone coming?” he finally announces, turning towards you and looking with particular intent in Robin’s direction.

Your friend turns towards you with pleading eyes, silently begging to spare her from Steve’s request, but as soon as she notices that you’re still struggling while deep cleaning a huge pot in the tiny kitchen sink, she groans loudly.

“Alriiight, I’m coming” she sighs, heading towards Steve as he flashes her another smile. “You owe me” she silently mouths at you, one finger pointed at your face as she makes her way outside, one hand clinging to the wooden door frame.

“Thanks” you reply, “and… Robin, maybe you should let him know” you’re quick to add before she disappears behind the building. You see her pondering your suggestion and nod unconvinced. Then, she’s gone.

Now you’re that you’re left alone, your attention is brought back to the music, which has never stopped playing in the background from Mrs. Janet’s old radio. Once you notice that Angeleyes by ABBA is on, you can’t help but dance a little to its notes while you finish up cleaning the pot and whatever’s left in the sink, letting the soapy water flow down the drain in a bubbly spiral. Humming to the lyrics, you give a final check to the room before turning off the radio and all the lights, grabbing the keys to lock the door on your way out.

With your back to the thick trees behind you, you close the wooden door to the kitchen, the chirping of the crickets being the only sound that you can now hear. You don’t really mind being so close to the woods: after all, it’s definitely not your first time (nor your first night) camping at Lovers Lake. However, you can’t help but quickly fiddle with the keys in your hand, reaching the bright and comfortable room of your cabin now being your first priority. Just before turning the right key into the lock, however, you notice an empty glass on the windowsill next to the kitchen door.

“Ugh, Steve” you groan, as you take a mental note to scold him in the morning while grabbing the glass.

Suddenly, a tree branch snaps behind you, causing a rush of adrenaline to run through your whole body like electricity. You gasp as you turn around swiftly, your heart beating so loud that you can feel it in your ears, and you find yourself bumping into someone in the dark. The glass in your hand escapes your grasp, shattering on the ground in a mess of sharp shards.

“Woah, hey, hey, hey” Eddie Munson exclaims as he puts his hands up in defense, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you”.

You look up to him, your now hyperactive brain registering his features in order to make sure that he’s not some monster from the woods who’s come to make you his prey.

His deep brown eyes are glittering in the dark blue of the summer night, round and wide as they stare back at you with curiosity. His mouth is slightly opened in a suppressed chuckle, his plump lips curved in a tilted smile that causes two dimples to lightly pierce his cheeks. The rest of his features perfectly fit the frame of his face, which is complimented by the long, wavy hair styled in a messy (but apparently soft) shag and fringe.

He’s still wearing his black ripped jeans, the camp t-shirt that covers his torso tucked in the front and held in place by the buckle of his belt, which reminds you of a pair of… handcuffs?

“Hey, you okay?” He suddenly asks, his amused expression now turned into a concerned frown as he slightly leans forwards so that his eyes are on your level.

You blink back into consciousness, hoping that it’s dark enough that he doesn’t notice your cheeks, flushed red with surprise at being caught off guard.

“I’m fine” you mutter, bending on your knees to collect the pieces of the broken glass on the ground, “You just startled me a little”.

“Yeah, uhm, sorry ‘bout that” he replies, following you down to help you clean up. “You should be careful with these” he quickly adds, carefully picking up a shard, the heavy rings on his fingers glittering in the moonlight, “you might end up hurt-“

Too late. You hiss in pain as a few droplets of blood stain the leaves on the ground and you drop the piece of glass responsible for the cut on your left middle finger.

“Shit” Eddie curses, “is it bad?”

You examine the wound and sigh of relief once you notice that it’s actually pretty small.

“No, thank god” you reply, meeting his eyes once again, “a bandaid and some disinfectant will do, I guess”.

“Bet it’s one of those tiny fuckers” Eddie states, as he places his hands flat on his thighs to rise up again. “You can barely see them, but they bleed like hell”.

“I hope so” you say, avoiding his gaze to hide the embarrassment of your repeated clumsiness as you turn towards the kitchen door, “But I should probably get it cleaned up anyway. Can you and throw that away in the meantime, please?” You add, nodding at the ground.

“Sure” Eddie replies with a nod, and you leave him behind to deal with the shattered glass.

Once you’re in the room, you head straight towards the sink, fully turning the faucet handle to your right as a splash of ice cold water hits your hand, blood flowing crimson red out of the cut. It hurts a little, but it’s mostly a relieving feeling.

Once the wound seems clean and you’re certain that there is no need for stitches, you turn the water off and open the cupboard above the sink. Taking a step back with your injured hand turned upwards to prevent more blood from flowing, you examine the space looking for the first aid kit. You spot the white and red box it in the very back of the cabinet, but as you try to reach it… well, you can’t.

“Need some help over there?” Eddie asks, walking inside the kitchen and almost startling you for the second time in a row.

“Uhm, could you… could you grab the first aid kit for me?” You ask him, mentally scolding yourself in order to lose that never-been-alone-with-a-drug-dealer awkwardness, “it’s too far back and I can’t reach it”.

“Theeeere you go” he replies with an almost singsong tone, quickly grabbing the box above you after throwing a handful of broken glass in the trash.

You shyly smile at him as he hands it over, openly staring at you while you fiddle with the lid and finally grab a much needed bandaid.

“So” he says, leaning back on the counter with his arms crossed on his chest, his tattoos clearly visible on his skin. “What’s your name?”

A bit taken aback by the unexpected question, you hesitate a second before replying. “I’m y/n. Henderson.” You finally say, your eyes focused on peeling away the paper strips from the bandaid before carefully placing it on your finger.

Eddie slightly tilts his head and nods, an upside-down smile forming on his lips. “Nice to meet you, y/n Henderson” he replies, “I’m Eddie Munson. Glad to make the acquaintance of the one who managed to humiliate Jason Carver in front of his own ridiculous trolls”.

“He had it coming” you state, examining your wrapped up finger with satisfaction before finally turning towards him with a small smile. “Even if I have to admit that it was you who gave him the final blow”.

Eddie chuckles lightly, looking down on you with a mischievous grin. “Always a pleasure”.

“So”, you tentatively ask, trying to fill the silence that has dropped in the room as you push yourself up to sit on the counter, “did you need anything from the kitchen?”

Eddie’s head snaps up as he suddenly remembers why he was lingering in the dark outside the Headquarters. “Yes, yes I was” he exclaims, clapping his hands once, “Beer. I was looking for some beer”.

You tilt your head curiously. “And what makes you think that there’s any alcohol hidden in a summer camp filled with minors?” you ask, slowly losing your shyness as you realize that he’s apparently less menacing than you expected.

Eddie raises his eyebrows at you, smirking. “Come on” he states, his long fingers drumming on the counter next to you. “I’m new here, but I’m definitely not stupid”.

You shake your head with a surrendering smile as you point towards the hiding place in the corner.

“Thank you” Eddie croons, spotting the slightly different flooring pattern and lifting up the trapdoor that hides the alcohol stash, which is kept in a small cooler. He kneels down, grabs a can of beer and pops it open, delight flooding his face as he takes a sip.

You glance at him sideways, noticing how his tall figure nonchalantly occupies the small space of the kitchen, his back and wide shoulders just barely leaning backwards as he tilts his head to get another swig.

“What made you want to become a camp counselor?” You finally ask him, curiosity getting the better of you. “Beside the free alcohol, that is”.

Eddie turns to you and rolls his eyes. “My uncle did. He forced me to sign up after I failed to graduate… Again” he groans, gesturing mid-air with his free hand and shaking his head with loathing as his tone gets louder. “Damn Ms. O’Donnell. It’s her final that gets me every time. Always her goddamn final”.

“She’s unreasonably strict, I can give you that” you tell him, trying to hide your amusement at his theatricals.

“Yeah, well, at least this is a good chance to expand my range of connections” he says, dropping the act. “Good for business, y’know”.

You look at him quizzically, not making the immediate connection.

“Come ooon” he exclaims, looking at you with a knowing smirk. “You know exactly what I do. I saw you staring at me when you where talking with Harrington”.

As the realization dawns on you, you can’t help but blush violently as you try to stir the conversation in another direction. “You- You know Steve?” you mutter as casually as you can.

Eddie scoffs, sneering. “Rich parents, popular, chicks love him, probably a big douche? Everyone knows him. And I’m sure he told you that we’re sharing our cabin. You know, while you were staring” he adds, teasing you again.

“I wasn’t staring!” You blurt out, causing an amused look to form on his face - then, the perfect idea for a barely credible excuse suddenly pops up in your mind. “Actually” you add with nonchalance, “I was wondering how you know Gareth”.

Eddie ponders on your question, narrowing his eyes while he looks at you. He finally settles on giving you the benefit of the doubt.

“He’s in my D&D club. Hellfire Club” he states, letting the words linger in the air with a casual wave of his hand as the drops the now empty can in the trash.

“Dungeons and Dragons?”

Once you mention the full name of the game he’s clearly referring to, his eyes widen and his smile brightens into a full grin.

“You know D&D?” He exclaims, crossing his arms and leaning towards you.

“I mean, I don’t know how to play” you clarify, smiling in surprise at his excitement, “but my brother Dustin is obsessed with it, has a whole party and everything. They meet at his friend’s house basically every day and since I’m always on pick up duty I have to endure a detailed recap of each campaign meeting in the car. So yeah, I know how it works… generally speaking” you conclude, observing how he’s trying to contain his enthusiasm. He clearly loves that RPG stuff.

Eddie shakes his head, the amazed grin never leaving his lips. “You’re missing on a lot of fun, you know” he tells you, placing one arm on the counter beside you and slightly rocking back and forth. Stillness is, apparently, not one of his best qualities.

You look at him with a soft chuckle, eyebrows raised. “Well, one day I might decide to actually learn how to play” you reply, when suddenly you catch a glimpse of the clock and realize that it’s definitely past bedtime. “However” you quickly add, jumping off the counter and heading towards the door, “right now I’m missing on a lot of sleep, so I think I’ll go to bed. Big day tomorrow, we’re going on a hike”.

“Me too, apparently” Eddie observes, following you outside into the dark, “Group B?”

“Yeah. You?” you nod as you turn off the lights, close the door behind the two of you and lock it for good.

“The very same” he states, dragging on the “very” as if he’s almost singing while he starts to walk away. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow then, y/n Henderson”.

“Guess so” you echo him with a wave. “Good night, Eddie Munson”.

Eddie turns around and, as he keeps walking backwards, bends into an exaggerated bow. Then, he disappears among the trees.

— 🏕 —

Hope you enjoyed this chapter :) Feedback is always welcome!

Taglist • @meaganjm @emwhite1

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linkljdf · 1 year

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moonctzeny · 3 years

Text

love to hate me

request: celebrity! jaehyun + enemies to lovers + “don’t you want to know how i feel?”

pairing: friends to enemies to lovers! jaehyun x female reader

genre: smut, angst, fluff... this fic has it all folks

word count: 7.514k

warnings: toxic behaviour, public sex, light restraining, jaehyun pulls a ‘white boy punching the wall’ at some point

summary: “You and Jaehyun meet as SM trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you deicde to leave the company and pursue a solo career. When you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. Your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other”

a/n: this is the longest it has ever taken me to finish a fic.. I have a love-hate relationship with this (no pun intended XD). I hope whoever requested this likes it!

------------------------------------------------

Of-fucking-course you had to bump into him out of all people at the vending machine. All you wanted was a drink to refresh you before you got up on stage, and now you have to deal with Mr. Too Good For This World and his relentless teasing. His eyes, lit up by an amusement that was also evident in his smirk, stayed glued on your body, raking up and down at it for a second too long. Not that you didn’t like it.

“Stare much?”, you bark at him in hopes of snapping him out of his trance, and push through him to punch in the code of your favorite drink. But alas, he always had a comeback ready on the edge of his lips.

“You look ridiculous”, he states and you have to admit that your outfit, though fitting for the Halloween special of today’s music show, was way different than anything else he had ever seen you in. Reincarnated as Dorothy Gale for the night, your stylists had chosen a short, light blue checkered dress, with red stilettos that gave a sexy twist to the character’s ruby slippers. Hair neatly braided in two pigtails, decorated by ribbons and topped off by glittery pink makeup. The image of innocence. Jaehyun had to laugh.

“Says the man dressed up as Woody”

It was unfair, you admitted, how good he looked in that stupid outfit. His hair was gelled back, a few strands framing his handsome face strategically. The yellow shirt fitted him like a glove, its bright colour lighting him up as well. And those jeans, tight in all the right places, just melted over the muscles of his thighs. The ones that you’ve come undone on one too many times.

“So”, he lilts, giving you a once over before lowering both the volume and pitch of his voice, “want a ride?”

You scoff, sparing him an incredulous look, “on what horse, cowboy?”

He doesn’t reply, only points with his eyes to his crotch that is undeniably sporting a visible tent, and you gasp when you see the outline of his dick twitching under your stare.

“Jesus Christ, Jaehyun”, you mutter with a disgusted look on your face before picking up the almost forgotten beverage that the vending machine had barfed out for you. The boy mentioned, however, was unfazed.

“They don’t call me Woody for nothing”

Almost choking at the drink that was supposed to calm you down, you catch his eyes rolling at you through your third cough. Well, that ruins one of your favourite childhood movies. “Don’t pretend to be a prude. Now are we going to fuck before you get on stage of not?”

You can clearly remember the first time you met Jung Jaehyun alone. You always spotted him somewhere in the SM buildings, joking around with his future bandmates, barely ever without company. As a fellow vocal trainee, he introduced himself to you as Yoonoh, filling up the awkward silence while your vocal teacher prepared the music sheets for the both of you to rehearse.

You were thankful the two of you always got paired up together. Jaehyun was charming, easy to be around, funny. He was a model SM trainee with the otherworldly looks he possessed, almost impossible for anyone’s eyes not to follow him when he entered a room. Radiant porcelain skin, soft brown locks, and a dimpled smile that made your heart melt in seconds.

You can also clearly remember the first time you had the privilege of hearing him sing. Jaehyun had a beautiful baritone voice, one that contradicted his flower boy image but matched his manly personality perfectly. The four walls of the small practice room resonated with his sound, that was stable and smooth like honey. The lessons were challenging but Jaehyun made them bearable through spending time with him. Maybe it was your shared struggles, or how you were always tired and vulnerable when you saw him. Maybe it was those damned dimples, but your heart always beat faster when you were around him.

“Sometimes I get discouraged”, he confides in you in that same room, hours later, early into the morning now. The vocal lesson stretched on longer than expected, leaving you two sitting on the floor, sharing a cup of lemon-honey tea to soothe your vocal chords. You let your head rest to the leather couch behind you as you stare into his handsome features one by one. What time was it? Shouldn’t you be back at your dorms by now? It didn’t matter, this was one of those moments when time seems to stop and life seems unreal. When the only thing that you care about is the person standing next to you, and whatever it is they have to tell you.

“I fear that I will never get to debut. There’s handsome guys all over the company. I just don’t know if my skills are enough.”

You thought he was crazy for thinking that way, wanted to scream at him that he’s just perfect and more than enough for the company, or for anything in this world for that matter. But Jaehyun was reserved, the type to always mask his true feelings behind a smile and you were more than glad that he finally opened up to you, that he saw you as someone trustworthy. You didn’t want to dismiss his feelings, so you just pet his hair while you listened to his concerns.

As you mindlessly gaze at the rainy weather outside, a couple of droplets following their own path down the froggy window remind you that time does run by. Even if every day seemed the same, following the same routine, going to the same classes over and over again.

Jaehyun had this sad look that contorted his pretty face and you hated it, reaching up to massage away the wrinkles between his eyebrows. You don’t know which godly creature made the hourglass of time freeze this moment, nor did you know why Jaehyun leaned forward to capture your lips into a kiss. Maybe it was his way of saying thank you for keeping your ears and heart open for him, for listening to him when he needed it most.

It felt so lovely while it lasted, two young people leaning on each other during an uncertainty that anchored them far away from their emotional shoreline. But life as a trainee isn’t a fairytale and falling in love can have serious ramifications. So you promise to each other that this will be a one time thing, and then you never speak of this night ever again.

Unsurprisingly enough, Jaehyun got to successfully debut, yet you didn’t have the same luck. The company had plans of focusing on their new boy group, thus postponing your debut for an uncertain amount of time. It was hard for you to decide to switch labels, to throw away the years of hope and dedication you had pinned on this company but the faith you placed on yourself was stronger.

It’s years later when you finally get to promote as a solo artist in a different company, and you are happy to say that the decision you made all those years ago was the right one. The exposure you got wasn’t the same as being in a Big 3 company, however leaving SM entertainment has its pros. Flexible schedule, less scrutiny, great creative freedom over your work.

This wasn’t the first time you have come across your old trainee buddy. Jaehyun had multiple comebacks in a year, so it was only natural that his group’s and your promotions would sometimes overlap. You were only a rookie, and NCT turned out to become pretty popular, so of course the wins were always tied to their names.

The first time you walked past him in the hallways, dark makeup and professional styling making you both almost unrecognizable, you expected a wave, small talk, maybe some reminiscing of the old times. Instead, you got a cold stare or at best, an arrogant smirk coupled with a “Do better next time”. It was shocking to you how much Yoonoh, the boy with the shy smile and awkward social skills, would turn into such a stranger.

How you always ended up sneaking out with him to have a quickie in one of the ready rooms, was beyond you. He rushed you inside before checking both sides of the hallway, cautious to hide from any curious eyes. The coast was clear and Jaehyun doesn’t like to waste time, so he pins you against the door he just closed behind him, face dipped in your neck. You can feel his fingers dancing on the skin of your thighs, eager to explore what is hidden under your frilly skirt, and their delicacy in contrast to his feverish kisses sends a shiver down your spine.

One pretty whine from your lips, then two, three and you can feel Jaehyun smile deviously against your neck. The softness is too enticing for him to resist, so he nips at it skillfully, trying to get a reaction out of you. He recognizes that you have plenty of talent as a singer, yet the symphonies you sing out for him in those little sessions seem to be his favorite.

“Jaehyun, cut it out. I’m going on stage in like, 20 minutes”

“Turn me on then”

Wasn’t he the one that basically flashed you in the middle of the cafeteria for just existing? Isn’t it his hard on that digs against your lower stomach? The demand made you mad, and you wanted nothing more than to entice him with a nice blowjob, only to take a big, strong bite off that cock of his. But see, you had a full face of makeup on and your career is way more important than a fuckboy, so you’ll have to get creative.

Flipping him around so that he’s the one trapped between you and the door, you start to suck on his collarbones , then nibble at the tender flesh. He seems distracted enough by it so that you open the button of his jeans and fully remove his belt from their loops with no objections. Palming him over his boxers to keep him entranced, you manage to bring his wrists together, wrapping the leather around them, then lastly fastening them in place.

His eyes widen in shock when he realizes that he’s too late, wiggling his hands in a futile attempt to free himself. Your laugh is sadistic, making the hairs on his arms stand on edge and you gloat in the effect you have on him.

Giving your palm a good lick, you form a ring with your fingers, wrapping them around the base of his member. He hisses and drops his head back, thudding loudly against the wall. His cock enlarges and reddens as you move your hand up and down, changing the pressure according to his reactions. Jaehyun isn’t one to express himself freely but there is not much he can do to stop the low moans leaving his lips. Not when you rub circles over his tip with the soft skin of your palm.

He looks so fucking good, all squirmy and desperate and trying to hold himself from saying ‘please’. You almost want to keep going, squeeze him more until he whines and begs to cum, and admire the white beads dripping from his slit and covering your hand. Almost.

You halt your movements with a last strong stroke, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare back at him. Jaehyun tentatively opens one eye to see why you have stopped, only to come across that bratty smile that he loves as much as he hates.

“You should have dressed up as a siren. Seducing people before they realize you are a man eating bitch”

“If you want someone to jerk you off you can go ask one of your little fangirls. I want to get fucked.”

“Let me go then. And you’ll wish you never did”

You scoff at his cockiness, nonchalantly freeing him from his constraints, and the way he immediately has a hold of your jaw reminds you of a predator eyeing its prey. His eyes have a crazy look in them, moving frantically over every part of your body like he can’t decide what to grab onto first. He decides on your hips, bending you over a table full of snacks and makeup tools and flyers of today’s schedule.

“You think it’s funny to tease me like that?”, he asks you with a peremptory voice that signifies you’d better shut up.

You hear shuffling behind you and assume it’s him slipping on a condom, so you make yourself more comfortable on the wooden surface. A hard slap on your ass jolts you alert.

“I asked you a fucking question”, Jaehyun presses brusquely and flips your skirt fully over your ass, pulling your panties down until they’re bunched up right over your knees.

“It’s fun”, you moan out, breathless both from the pleasure and the stinging feeling on your right cheek, “What are you gonna do about it?”

Was the room occupied by one of the artists that have already been on stage? Or will they barge in at any moment to find you bent over and pussy dripping for Jaehyun to finally dive inside you? He chuckled at the sight of you, eyes feasting off your naked body, your ass up just the way he likes it. Not so innocent anymore, huh?

He doesn’t reply to you, aligning himself against your slit and bottoming out in one go instead. Involuntarily, you let out a small screech, the sudden stretch catching you off guard.

“You better stay quiet, siren. Or maybe you would like it if people found us like this? Saw how good you take my cock whenever I ask”

You wanted to bite back at him, but the only sound you could make was a guttural moan. It was embarrassingly loud, and you fall forward to bite your fist and force yourself to shut up. It was effective, yet Jaehyun had other plans for you, pulling your pigtails towards him in a strong grip that has you against his chest in seconds.

“Nuh, uh, uh, siren”, he hums in your ear, his panting making his voice sound huskier and smokier than ever, “How about trying to stay quiet by using your willpower alone? That way it’s more- how did you call it? Fun.”

He slows down his pace momentarily, as if he’s giving you time to answer him. But the moment you open your mouth to talk back at him, he thrusts particularly hard inside you, forcing a whimper out of your lips.

“Fuck you, Jaehyun”

“As you wish”

Jaehyun was conceited and cocky and a dick, but he was also a good fuck. He kept at it with what seemed like all the energy in the world, fucking you against that table until you came all over him, and your legs gave out. It ended how it always did, with him moaning how fucking sexy you look and how much he hates you, and you swallowing your pride as you swallow his cum. You’d tell each other to fuck off and never bother the other again, until you meet up at the next comeback, to do this shit all over again.

And that’s how things would stay if it wasn’t for that goddamn phone call from your manager.

“...so we thought what better way to promote your new song by recording a duet with NCT’s Jaehyun?”

No, no, no this can’t be happening. No way. Anyone but him.

“Are you sure this is the only way we can promote me? Can’t I just go to variety programs like every other idol out there?”

“y/n, duets by different group members are one of the most efficient methods of promoting there is! And with NCT’s latest song topping the charts this will be a great opportunity for you. Taemin and Sunmi did it. Suzy and Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Punch-“

“Alright, okay, I get it”

“Besides, since you used to be an SM trainee they specifically asked for you. The directors made some pretty big compliments on your work”

Isn’t it a little too late now? Not like they didn’t have the chance to debut you, right? That being said, there isn’t much to oppose to decline SM’s offer; your manager is right and you know it. Saying no to Lee Sooman and giving up a popularity push like that is basically career suicide. Nor could you let your manager know about your and Jaehyun’s little adventures, minutes before you have to go on stage.

“Just send me the schedule. I don’t have to record with him, right?”

“Oh no, they’ll record his part first and then they’ll send it to us. But there will be a music video of course”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

There was this little monster of worriedness that was screaming inside your head, refusing to shut up. This collaboration isn’t going to be easy, but you didn’t want to let Jaehyun’s pettiness get in the way of your career. Fumbling with your phone in your hands, you kept removing and reinserting its case compulsively, over and over again, until you mustered the courage to take matters into your own hands.You knew his number was buried somewhere in your contacts.

you [16:35]: hey it’s me, y/n

Jung Yoonoh [16:50]: y/n who??

you [16:55]: y/n y/l/n? the girl whose guts you were inside in last week? we have a song coming up 😒

Jung Yoonoh [16:57]: oh y/n right

Jung Yoonoh [16:58]: thought you’d have deleted my number

Well you sure have deleted mine, you murmur with your blood boiling, regretting reaching out to him in the first place.

you [16:59]: i always hoard peoples contacts

you [17:00]: old habits die hard i guess

Jung Yoonoh [17:00]: like the habit of me being inside your guts?

You gasp out after reading his last message, hands awkwardly juggling your phone until you’ve forced yourself to calm down. After waiting for a while, until your face has reached its previous temperature, you feel focused again, and type out your original intentions for this conversation.

you [17:05]: this isn’t what i texted you about.

you [17:07]: we have this project coming up and while I know we aren’t exactly on the best terms, this comeback is very important for me

you [17:08]: and i don’t want to fuck it up

Jung Yoonoh [17:10]: kitty cat, relax. maybe this is a brand new word for you but i know what professionalism is

you [17:10]: don’t you ever and i mean ever call me that again

you [17:11]: glad to see we are on the same page

You didn’t expect a message back, nor did you get one. All you could do from now on, was pray that the promotions would go smoothly and Jaehyun wouldn’t do anything stupid that would jeopardize your collaboration.

------------------------------------------------------

And the day you dreaded finally came. The first day of filming for the music video.

You had already finished recording the song, a bittersweet balad about two lovers who lost their way, only for their paths to cross again. When you listened to the demo for the first time, it only took three notes from Jaehyun’s pre-recorded verse to spread goosebumps on your skin. His voice was deeper and even more developed than you remember. Long forgotten memories, shoved deep inside your brain so as not to leave a bitter aftertaste in your mouth, came flooding up again. But things have changed since then.

The sky was crying rain and lightning, fitting to the storm inside your head. Normally you'd be excited to film a music video, bubbling with energy and unable to contain a smile. Today, all you could do was let your teeth abuse the cuticles of your left thumb, until little drops of blood ruined the fresh manicure you got for the shoot.

Following your manager inside the studio, you take a quick glance at all the props the creative directors have prepared. They were very intricate, filled with all different types of flowers everywhere. Some of the fake rooms looked like classrooms, two others were decorated like teenage bedrooms. It was a lot more than you have anticipated.

“The song will be part of a drama OST, that’s why the budget is higher than usual”, your manager tells you as if he was reading your mind.

He leads you to the changing room, where you try on different outfits your stylist has chosen for you, while simultaneously being briefed on the concept of the music video. It’s kinda cheesy and cute, with you and Jaehyun posing as high-school students falling in love. Certain scenes of the drama, whose plot matches the music video’s, will intercept in between.

You’re seated on the makeup chair, sunk in the uneasiness caused by your co-star. Jaehyun had arrived a few minutes after you, his bare face more handsome than you’ve ever looked in your most glamorous state and you can’t help but stare at him. He is all polite smiles and bows to the staff, and even gives you a formal greeting.

You’re not sure why you just can’t bring yourself to stop your legs from shaking as the makeup artist patiently tries to apply a rosy blush on your cheekbones. It’s like you’re scared that everyone will see right through the both of you, somehow enter your brain and find out that you’re replaying your last encounter with Jaehyun in the music show’s waiting room in your head. As you try to read through his expression, to see if he’s nearly as nervous as you are, you defeatedly can’t decode what’s going on inside his head. Not like you ever could.

You glance at both you and Jaehyun through the mirror, admiring the youthful makeup. Blushy cheeks and innocent eyes of two teenagers in love, masking the raw lust between two nemesi. It couldn’t stray any further from the truth.

A staff member leads both you and Jaehyun (who is refusing to spare even one look your way) back to the main set. The director is passionately explaining what he wants to see from you in your first scene, but you can barely focus with Jaehyun’s eyes burning holes through your school girl outfit. You block him out and walk inside the ‘classroom’, spotting the cameras and sitting on your designated seat, while you wait for your signal to start.

Of course, you had acted before. Yes, you had expected for the director to ask you for some more intimate moments with your co-star. But when Jaehyun passed you a “love note” from the desk in front of you, looking all blushy and shy and with his dimples showing, you felt that the role of crushing schoolgirl became a little too easy for you to act out.

And maybe, just maybe he was feeling the same way too. He looked pretty flustered when he saw you dancing across class, shifting restlessly in his seat when you bent forward to tie your shoelaces. Whether you did it on purpose or not, was a question your ego didn’t allow you to answer truthfully.

Most of the individual shots would be handled at a different shoot, so all you had to do was get over this one day with him. That’s what you repeated yourself over and over again. And you did pretty well, smiling charmingly at the camera, with the director praising you for your “innocent look”. You didn’t miss the scoff slipping from Jaehyun’s lips but you were good at ignoring it, focusing on getting through the different scenes in one-shot.

You were currently leaning your body against the wall, playing with your hair while Jaehyun glances down at you, like a boy that is ready to confess to his first love.

“y/n, I need you to give me something more shy, more bashful”, the director yells eagerly, but you can barely hear him, too focused on regulating your breathing. The look your co-star is giving you right now might seem loving and pure to the staff, but you know all too well the motives hidden behind his facade. It’s the calm before the storm, the silence he purposefully keeps to make you squirm, right before he whispers the most sinful propositions in your ears.

Reading him like an open book, you stand still as he leans closer, just enough so that no one besides you get to hear his words.

“Come on y/n, can’t you act bashful? Or is it impossible for you to get embarrassed after getting fucked against the window of a TV station’s building?”

Clearing your throat, you’re suddenly hyper aware of every single sound and movement in the room. Suffocating, even in the light clothes you were wearing, and desperately trying to mute out his words that bring you back to the day he was repenting.

“When you were pressed up against that glass, moaning my name, all exposed for anyone that simply looked up to see, you weren’t too shy, were you?”

You raise your palm to wipe a bead of sweat that has collected on your temple, and breathe deeply through your nose, as if a good pump of oxygen would cool off the sudden heat between your legs.

“Shut up Jaehyun”, you simply hiss through your front teeth, but he isn’t done yet.

“You know I can’t hold myself when I see you in skirts. So pretty. And you love to tease me in them too, I’ve noticed. Flashing me again and again until you get to suckle on my dick”

You were sure his voice was barely louder than a whisper, but the thought of anyone accidentally prying into your conversation had your whole body raising in temperature. The heat didn’t take long to reach your cheeks and you couldn’t remember the last time your legs felt like jelly, as they do now.

“Perfect y/n, that’s exactly what I’m looking for!”

You blinked back at Jaehyun a couple times, your mind trying to process that the director is cheering you on instead of scolding you to focus. The trembling hands, the fast-paced heartbeat, your big doe eyes. Though involuntarily, you had nailed the scene.

“You’re welcome”, Jaehyun mouths at you just as the staff announces a break. He scurries off to his dressing room without a word, as if he hadn’t just spewed his dirtiest of thoughts on set. It was almost as if he was daring you to follow him, but it’s not like he had left you a choice. You were fuming.

“Jaehyun”, you called out to him strictly but he didn’t acknowledge you, only walked further inside the small room with his name written neatly on the door. He was removing some of the heavier jewellery, rubbing the red lines they had left on his neck and wrist, momentarily catching your eyes on the mirror's reflection. They were misty, unreadable, and with how unpredictable you knew he could be, you decided to close the door behind you.

“Closing the door?”, he muses and in just a few long strides he has managed to trap you between his body and the wooden surface. It is reminiscent of your last meeting at the music show, and the memory of you tying him up doesn’t help with the organizing of your thoughts. “What are you planning on doing to me in here?”

You point one finger against his chest, not enough to create any real distance between you, but it comforts you nonetheless.

“What the fuck was that out there? What happened to professionalism?”

“Relax, kitty cat. I was just helping you act better”. His eyes stayed glued on your hips, once again making you all wound up and jumpy under his stare, “And it worked. You should be thanking me”

“I. Told. You.”, you started, tapping your finger on his sternum to emphasize each word, “Never call me that again. Today��s already hard as it is, why do you have to make it harder?”

He takes one more step towards you, his chest now touching yours and your hand that separated you lands involuntarily on his right peck. As if his presence wasn’t overwhelming enough, you feel a hardness pressing against your thigh, and for a moment you worry he can feel how wet you really are under your skirt. His voice is a low, a deep rumble.

“I don’t know. Why do you have to make everything so hard?”

“You are unbelievable”, you scowl at him and free yourself from his trap. You turn to the big mirror to avoid looking at him anymore, and you come to the embarrassing realization of how fucked out you look right now. You had to get out of there as soon as possible, before you do anything stupid and lose any trace of self control left in you. But not before you gave Jaehyun an earful.

“What I meant was that I am out there, being paid to be all lovey-dovey with you. This is not something easy for me you know. It’s basically prostitution.”

You catch Jaehyun’s eyes in his reflection, and for a fleeting moment they turn a colour that you hadn’t seen them in for a long time. Hurt? Disappointment? Whatever it was, it was gone in a second, replaced by that smile that made him both irresistibly smackable and fuckable at the same time.

“Did it cross your tiny brain that maybe someone could hear you? Staff leaks information all the time! If they found out we were fucking…”

“Were? Past tense?”

“Are. Will be. Whatever.” You sigh, defeated, hiding your eyes with your palms as you face him once again. “Like I said, this is important to me. So no more dirty talk on set. Okay?”

Jaehyun avoided your glance, from embarrassment or uninterest maybe. “Okay”

You continue to sit there silently, but your head is so occupied with a million thoughts that you don’t notice. How you will get through the rest of the shooting, whether your manager is looking for you or not, the coldness of the glass Jaehyun had pressed you against that day. The only thing that snapped you out of it, was him suddenly taking off his shirt.

“What are you doing?”, you ask panicking, but you can’t dismiss the pool of excitement in your belly.

“We have a wardrobe change after the break, remember? And since you refuse to leave my changing room..”

You clear your throat, trying your hardest to rip your eyes away from his abdomen, that you’ve so keenly marked with love bites before. His naked skin must have monopolized your attention way more than you realized, as you can’t remember when he slithered his way closer to you, towering over your height.

“Stare much?”, he almost growls, arousal dripping from his voice.

Every fiber of your being wanted to lurch forward, glide your fingers through his hair and start nibbling at those pretty lips of his. The sexual tension, amplified by the argument you just had, was filling the room like a thick liquid would fill a cup. One more drop, one more second of his staring and it would overflow. It felt so real, that you could feel that drop landing on your forehead. Then another one on your cheek, and that’s when you realized that what you felt was real.

“What the-?”, Jaehyun mumbles as he stares up at the ceiling, a big wet spot staining it and allowing the water drops to slowly wet his styled locks. As you start to put two and two together, someone knocks loudly on the door, making you both jump one feet away from the other.

“Get undressed”, a high-pitched male voice that you recognize as Jaehyun’s manager calls through the door, “the rain is ruining the set. It’s a wrap for today”

———————————————————————

A soft touch on your lower back, an even softer breath making your ears tingle. A tentative kiss on your neck that’s full of purpose and makes you shiver.

And then another touch, this time more south on your body. Fingertips grazing over your sensitive clit. Easily moving through your wetness and finally dipping inside of you. That baritone voice.

“This pussy is mine, isn’t it, kitty cat?”

You look up to meet the face of the familiar voice, only to meet Jaehyun’s baby brown eyes. The pleasure was enough to make you ignore the despised nickname, flowing intensely through your body. You let out a desperate moan, gripping his arms to keep your balance. His fingers are now dragging through your walls and you clench around them instinctively, confused but enamored by his touch. You are falling apart.

“Jaehyun? What are you doing?”

“I want to make love to you”

“Love? But you hate me”

He plants another kiss on the slope of your neck, his hands picking up in pace and making you feel like you’re floating on air.

“Love. Hate. Is there really any difference when I’m here, ready to please you? Willing to make you feel things you have never felt before?”

“You already do”, you admit, only seconds away from your orgasm. The bliss is so close you can almost taste it, but for now you choose to taste his lips. They are so soft and warm that you realize you haven’t kissed Jaehyun since that night at the practice room. How you miss him. Not the group visual, not the idol, not even Jaehyun. Yoonoh.

“Yoonoh”, you moan out against his lips as the pleasure overtakes you, a low buzz humming in your ears, “mmm yes, Yoonoh”

“Who the fuck is Yoonoh?”

You finally wake up, your manager shaking you awake being the first thing you see. The sun’s morning rays are peeking through your blinds, warming your skin in lines. Your phone’s ignored alarm clock is still buzzing on top of your nightstand.

“No one. I’m awake, thanks”

Fuck. That makes it what? The fourth night in a row you dreamt about him?

“Get, up. Quickly. We’re late”

You groaned at the banging of your head that was caused by you getting up so fast. It was early into the morning, as you had to get ready for the mv’s second shooting day. The heavy rainfall wouldn’t allow for the filming to continue for another week, yet aided your growing anxiety of having to encounter Yoon- Jaehyun again.

You felt a little stupid, like a kid that goes to middle school for the first time, anxious but full of butterflies in your stomach in the thought of seeing him again. You weren’t sure who the anger, that came with the inability to control the fresh feelings bubbling from your dream, should be directed at. Your manager for booking you this job? Jaehyun for making it his goal to have you dripping wet on set? You, for letting it all affect you so much?

You decide on the former, giving your poor manager the cold shower for forcing you to deal with the problems you’ve caused yourself. Checking your phone, you realise that you are, indeed, late, and wonder how quick you’re going to have to make your morning shower.

“Is Jaehyun and his team there already?”, you ask your manager as nonchalantly as you could, feigning mildly interested in his answer.

“Oh, they didn’t tell you? The other team asked for the shootings to continue separately”. You felt your stomach drop all the way down to your condo’s basement. And the icing on the cake: “Jung Jaehyun’s request”

Maybe your manager wasn’t as clueless to your electricity, or maybe it was your sudden impulse to pluck every loose thread of the pyjama top you were wearing that made him sense the discomfort following what he’d just said. He plops next to you on your bed, boards creaking in the silent room and you feel his rough hands patting you on the back.

“I’m sure he had an overlap in schedules and needed a break, nothing to do with you”

But you knew better, and you knew your palms wouldn’t stop itching unless you picked up your fucking phone and sent him a message.

you [06:30]: i heard you can’t make it to set today. everything ok?

You wish you never did. The radio silence from his number was way worse than any insult, any form of teasing he could give you on set. You even tried calling him, desperate for an answer, a closure even. Maybe he was busy. Maybe the shooting took longer than expected. Maybe he wasn’t avoiding you; one of his managers uploaded his latest story on his instagram, not him. Maybe at the end of the week he would get back to you.

------------------------------------------------------

Going to his dorm unannounced was not a good idea. Waiting for someone to open the door for you, you hope his members will recognise you from your trainee days, or those rare nights Jaehyun sneaked you in when you were both lonely and in need of a… well, whatever you two were.

You’re starting to worry that whoever saw you from the peephole thought you were a sasaeng and called security, when Mark opens the door. His eyes are wide open behind his glasses, clearly not expecting you and immediately yelling for his ‘Jaehyun hyung’.

Soon, the called male arrives at the apartment’s entrance, annoyed for being interrupted from whatever it was he was doing. “What is it, me and Jungwoo are watching the season fina-“

As if Mark suddenly turned invisible, Jaehyun walks right past him, grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you to his room without another word.

Jungwoo, engrossed with the aforementioned show’s season finale on his computer screen, tries to cover up his naked torso in panic when he notices you.

“Get out.”, Jaehyun orders him, and the younger man knows that his tone is not one to be argued with. It triggers the cold sweat that makes your clothes stick closer to your skin and forces your heartbeat to quicken, pumping blood all over your body. The door closes, leaving you both alone with only the sound of Jungwoo’s laptop still playing in the background. A lighthearted scene that is too oxymoronic against the tension that is just palpable at this point. What the hell were you thinking coming here?

“What the hell were you thinking coming here?”, Jaehyun speaks your thoughts out loud, and you wince at how empty your head is with excuses.

“Are you ignoring me?”

“What?”, he asks dumbly, hoping you would avoid asking again.

“Was it that hard to text me back? Am I such a waste of your time?”

Jaehyun seems angry at your confrontation, his bad mood escalating with every word that is leaving your mouth. He still avoids to look at you, toying with some plushies and decorations next to his bedpost. You realize you never had time to really notice them, barely recognizing them. You always entered the room blindly, pressed up against Jaehyun’s body and with his lips all over your neck, then left as soon as the sex was over. His apathy was infuriating.

One by one, you start to remove all of your outerwear, dropping your clothes on the floor until you’re left in only your bra and jeans. Jaehyun stares at you incredulously, then at the pile of clothes on the floor, unable to make out the reasoning behind your impromptu stripping.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting naked. Seems to be the only time you can actually pay attention to me.”

You reach for the buttons of your jeans, only able to unzip it halfway before Jaehyun has you pinned against the wall behind you, his fingers cool and pressing lightly against your neck.

“I-I fucking hate you!”, he cries, punching the surface to release some of the steam, and lets go of the hold on your neck almost completely. How tempted he is, to just fuck your right against that wall, pour out his anger by pouring out his cum inside you, then ignore each other like you always do.

It’s the easy thing to do, keeping the toxic circle going. All barking and fucking and no real problem gets resolved in the end. He wouldn’t even call a cab for you, preferring to be hated for something he wasn’t than to be rejected for showing the real him. You would still have no idea about his feelings towards you, going around saying how awful he was while asking for a round two. But Jaehyun was tired.

“Can’t you tell that I am trying to distance myself from you?”, he sighs and it’s the first time you’ve ever heard him sound so emotionally exhausted.

“Why do you dislike me so much? We used to be friends and then one day you-“

“Friends? Just friends?”, he interrupts you with a chuckle and a sarcastic puff through his nose, and you shake your head.

“If you also think that what we had was more special than a common friendship then why act like you don’t know me?”

“You were the one who wanted to ‘forget about anything happening and never telling a soul about it’, remember?”

“I thought we came to a mutual agreement! I was just trying to save our careers and it worked Jaehyun, you got to debut and I-“

“And you just threw away everything we had like it was the easiest thing to do! Do you ever want to know how I feel, y/n? First you want nothing to do with me, left the company without even saying goodbye. Then I try to forget about you, become an asshole to keep you out of my life and suddenly you want to jump my bones. One day you just play blind to everything, asking for professionalism and now I’m the one ignoring you? What the fuck do you want? A fuck buddy? A professional? A friend?”

“I want you, Yoonoh. Fuck, I just want you”

You’re not sure which one of you initiates the kiss. His lips are as plump and kissed as hard as you recalled, a couple of tears staining your cheeks that you didn’t realize you were holding back. It felt so right, the way his head pushed and pulled away from yours, always inviting you back to him. One hand was situated over the dimples of your waist, the other lost between your hair, untangling it gently. You decided to lay yours over his heart, feeling its tempo and calming yourself down.

You kiss for what seems like an eternity, so drunk in bliss that you can’t remember how you made it through life without Jaehyun’s taste all over your tongue. When he pulls away from your lips, you almost whine, but his fingertips dabbing at the soft skin of your cheeks feel just as comforting.

“I don’t want us to be like this anymore”, you whisper to him and he nods encouragingly, holding you even closer. “I’m sorry for not reaching out to you all these years ago, I just thought ‘What would a brand new idol want to do with a failed trainee like me’-“

Jaehyun brings your fingers to his lips, kissing all your knuckles one by one and you think you’re gonna burst at the seams. “You weren’t a failure, you were the best thing to happen to me back then”. His voice is so sincere that you don’t dare question the veracity of what he’s saying and you let him continue. “When I saw you again I was so bitter, I decided to turn off my feelings. I think I get too comfortable in that role. I put it on for me, my members, my fans even”, he stops then, laughing sadly, “it’s how I finally got you”

It was your turn to open up his eyes to the truth, holding his face between your hands and admiring its beauty.

“That’s not true. I kept staying because I knew what was hidden behind all that armor. I guess, the sex was the only way to get closer to you”

“Not because I’m good?”, he jokes, wiggling his eyebrows and you can feel his dimples forming under your fingers.

“Eh, you’re pretty good too”

He starts pecking your neck, his smile obvious in his kisses and you squeal when he lifts you to his bed. Bouncing on the hard mattress, you let him lay his body weight over yours as he gives you a million traces of his love.

“So, I’m guessing this means we start over?”, he asks reluctantly as he emerges from your half naked body and you hold back from cooing at him.

“I thought you loved to hate me?”

“I think I hate it, but I love you”

#neosmutcollective #Jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jaehyun smut #nct smut #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun angst #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct angst #jaehyun fluff #nct

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leviathans-watching · 3 years

Text

the brothers at university

lmao ik some ppl think rad is a uni and if you do that’s cool- this is just what i think the boys would be like at a human university

will likely become the basis for a larger and more cohesive hc/au

rated t | wc: .7k

cw: mentions of drinking/partying, typical college stuff, cursing

lucifer

head of the student council and is TA for more than one class (+is in multiple clubs)

overworks himself like a champ

whenever his brothers cause problems, he makes sure there’s a new donation made to the school in the family name

people will ask him if he’s okay and he just gives you this dead look and laughs. he’s not okay

has been RA before and while people thought he’d be an absolute buzzkill he was pretty chill as long as no one was causing trouble/putting people in danger

mammon

is barely skating by in his classes

champion at beer-pong and is known as an epic party thrower- but watch your stuff around him bc he’s been rumored to have sticky fingers

that guy who doesn’t study at all until the night before of finals and pulls all nighters to study

you need to get fucked up? mammon’s the guy to go to, but he’ll also be a willing shoulder to cry on and has suspiciously good advice

has been seen scootering across campus in a pair of lacy shorts- asmo needed pants for his lab and he was the only one who could trade

levi

the guy who never seems to go to classes or leave his dorm room

you know that shit is nasty and cluttered, with empty monster cans overflowing the trash can

when he does drag his ass out of bed and to class, he’s in three-day-old sweatpants

makes a little extra money streaming, either by himself or with friends- he has a decent following and has missed tests to do 24 hr streams

hangs out with a small group of other gamers and has a great online network. everyone he hangs with speaks very highly of him & he tries to keep them separate from his brothers bc of obvious reasons

satan

bastard who looks way too put together at 8am classes and claims he doesn’t mind them

thank the lord if he shows up at your study group bc his notes are *chefs kiss*

always makes faces when people ask stupid questions

refuses to go to the campus starbucks bc he’s a tea purist and it’s irritating bc he’ll scoff at your drink & judge you for your order

he has a job in the library and helps categorize and shelve books

secretly helps his inner circle pirate textbooks

asmo

joins the lgbtqia+ club/organization and becomes the go to guy if you’re questioning or want to come out to someone

also in the environment clubs? gives people disappointed looks when they don’t recycle/compost/terracycle

hopped on the vsco trend, as well as any other trend that presents himself, though is often a trendsetter himself

takes gender/sexuality/woman’s studies and refuses to be slut shamed or let others be slut shamed

is almost never in his room-whether he’s at the club, the newest campus cafe, or literally anywhere else, he tries to be out and about, documenting a lot of it

beel

definitely joins the “do you feel unsafe on campus? allow us to walk you” thing with the rest of the bros

frequents campus gym and makes all the guys hitting on girls just trying to work out stop

also makes ppl drink water at parties. sir, why are you so sweet??

is probably there for a sports scholarship or something, i’m thinking football, and is a crowd favorite

so many ppl like him and have confessed to him but he’s pretty oblivious and can’t really tell when it happens

belphie

the kid who either sleeps through the entire class or never slows up yet always gets a perfect score on the exam

can be found sleeping all over campus (there’s probably an instagram hashtag dedicated to pictures of him sleeping and beel definitely follows it)

walks into the 24-starbucks and orders like 6 shots of expresso at like 3 am multiple times during exam week

sometimes picks up shifts at the indie music store and fits the aesthetic perfectly

doesn’t hang out with many people so when ppl see him with beel they’re a bit confused until they learn they’re twins

leviathans-watching’s work - please do not repost, copy, or claim as your own

#levisqueue #leviswriting #obey me game #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date?#shall we date obey me #lucifer obey me #mammon obey me #levi obey me #obey me satan #asmo obey me #beel obey me #belphie obey me #obey me hcs #obey me au #obey me headcanons #alcohol mention #leviswriting-obeyme

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astridthevalkyrie · 3 years

Text

summer rain: chapter 2

Your days in the Training Corp aren’t too out of the ordinary. You make friends, you train hard, and you eat dinner every day.

Oh, and you’re also hellbent on getting revenge against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

Chapter 1, Chapter 3

Okay, okay, so, you’d prided yourself on your plan. Getting the lieutenant himself to train you personally so you could learn his weaknesses and use his own tricks to one day take him down and humiliate him in front of everyone - it’s convoluted, but it’s a good idea. It’ll take a while, but it’ll work if you stay dedicated. Right? Right.

But you hadn’t actually expected him to agree. And so easily at that. He’d given you a quick look over as though he was scanning for some potential scheme, and then he’d readily said he would train you, which not only shocked you, it shocked both Captain Erwin and the woman who you learned was Lieutenant Hange Zoe. If his friends were surprised, then this must be out of character of him. You can’t imagine why he possibly would willingly take you under his wing.

Maybe...maybe the harsh treatment was some twisted way of looking out for you. A small bit of guilt blooms in your chest at the thought, but you quickly squash it down. There are other ways to prepare someone for their future than by publicly embarrassing and physically harassing them. A simple hey, focus up, cadet would have sufficed. Not that you’d have listened, but he doesn’t know that.

Yeah, he’s just a dick. He probably has his own messed up reasons to be doing this. You have to mentally prepare yourself for whatever cruel and unusual punishment he’ll be inflicting upon you.

His instructions ring through your head as you go to bed that night.

“Be at the grounds at 4 AM, sharp. Don’t be late.”

However, that’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s bad enough that you have to adjust your sleep schedule to wake up at 8 AM instead of 11 AM since they don’t allow for beauty sleep at the Training Corp (how are you supposed to maintain your flawless skin?), but now he expects you to be up and out of bed four whole hours than everyone else? No one is expected to be up at that time. Not even him. People are sleeping at 4 AM. No, you’re absolutely not going to be getting up just to train with a grouchy, perverted midget, thanks very much. If he was serious when he gave you those instructions, he’s going to have to deal with someone who values their shut-eye time. Sorry not sorry, Lieutenant. Your dreams are pleasant that night, letting you visit the market on the edge of Stohess which always smelled of fresh fruits and exotic perfume.

You’re content with your decision until a fucking wave crashes on you and brutally brings you back to the world of the living.

With a heaving gasp, you sit up straight in a coughing frenzy, spitting up water. Your hair is soaked, along with your nightgown. Fat droplets run down your face and bite into your cheeks. It’s cold.

“Be quiet,” Lieutenant Levi mutters casually, as though he didn’t just dump a bucket of water on you, “you’ll wake up the others.”

You gape at him incredulously, bringing your hands up to frantically wipe water off your face. For a second, you forget all formalities and you forget he ranks far higher than you, or perhaps you just don’t care, and you splutter out what you’ve been wondering since the moment you met him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

For someone who seems to enjoy teaching you discipline, he never actually tells you off for these comments. Instead of chiding you for being rude, he says in a snippy tone, “I’ve been waiting for ten minutes. Get up, or I’ll refill the bucket.”

You don’t need any further encouragement. You throw off the thin and wet blanket and stand up, now fully awake. He rolls his eyes when he sees how silky your nightgown is - yeah, he damn well should feel bad for soaking such an expensive piece of fabric, the asshole. It’s worth more than that stupid tacky cravat he’s always sporting, that’s for sure.

Fortunately, no one else has woken up. Thank Maria, you’re not sure you could stomach someone seeing Lieutenant Levi demeaning you yet again. You shakily grab your clothes and uniform, and then turn to him. He raises a brow.

“Some privacy would be appreciated, sir.” You cross your arms over your chest protectively.

He scoffs pointedly, as though to tell you he’d have to be absolutely obtuse to want to see you naked, to which you only take a little offense. He gives you orders to hurry the fuck up and then leaves the barracks. You’re tempted to take your sweet time changing, but you really, really don’t want to risk getting soaked again. You just wish that you had time to dry your hair - the morning air outside is bound to be freezing. Sighing, you tie it up tightly, mourning the days you could let your precious tresses fly freely. Stupid military, stupid titans, stupid lieutenant. You dislike all of them greatly. In that order.

When you join him outside, he’s leaning against a tree, looking at you dully.

“Managed to have a tea party before you got down here, (L/N)? Or have you always walked at the speed of a snail?”

Holy hells help you, this is going to be a long day.

You salute, and he lets out a small tch, walking up to you and sizing you up. You tense up immediately, you wouldn’t put it past him to knock you down again for the heinous crime of making him wait.

“This is how this is going to work, Cadet.” He stands right in front of you and you force yourself not to look in his eyes, choosing to look at the pretty leaves on the birch tree behind him. “Every morning, from 4 AM to 6 AM, you’re here, and you’re doing whatever the hell I tell you to.” Probably allowing him to punch you in the face repeatedly. “Then you go back, get two more hours of sleep so that you don’t look like shit at breakfast.” It’ll take more than the likes of him to get you to look like shit, but sure, he can flatter himself. “If I’m on an expedition or not here for some other reason, you do a basic routine regardless.” Right, like he’ll know if you skip out. Nice try. “I might have you do other bits of training at another part of the day sometimes, but for the most part, we’ll be doing the brunt of it in the morning so it doesn’t interfere with your classes and shit.” Okay, that’s fair, and you can’t find a complaint with it no matter how hard you try. “Questions?”

You open your mouth, but he doesn’t give you a chance to actually ask anything before barking out an order. “Twenty-four laps around the grounds, now.”

Twenty-four? Okay, okay, you can do this, you knew what you were signing up for. He’s going to be harsh. He’s going to wear you out. You’re not going to break. Even if it’s the crack of dawn and he’s certifiably insane.

When you start running, his eyes follow you. You briefly wonder how he’s going to keep himself entertained throughout this, but then you remember that he’s cruel and terrible, and he’ll be entertained plenty watching you suffer. Besides, you have other things to focus on besides how much fun he’s having.

The maximum amount of laps Grumman has had you run so far is twelve, and that was with everyone else, so all the cadets could feed off each other’s energy and boost morale. Right now, there’s no one with you, no one to complain to, no one to hide behind so you can spend a few seconds walking instead of running. Oh, and it’s way too early. Have you mentioned that it’s way too early?

Half way through the fifteenth lap, you drop down on your knees and start panting. You’re tired. You want to go back to sleep. Screw your plan. Screw getting revenge.

“Oi!” The lieutenant calls out from his cozy spot under the birch tree. “I didn’t say you could take a nap!”

Most all all, screw him.

You hear him approaching, but you can’t bring yourself to get up. The grass is damp against your fingers, looking like a nice and cool spot to just lie down and rest your head for a few seconds. Sure, not as nice as a regular feathery pillow, but -

He kicks you on the side. It’s not that hard, but you still hiss in pain.

You hate him, you hate him, you hate him -

“Get up,” he snaps, impatient. “You’ve got nine more to go.”

Everything about him is grating, from his voice to his polished shoes to his gorgeous grey eyes. How you wish you could shut him up.

Clearly not someone who enjoys waiting, he yanks you up by your arm, letting out another tch at your murderous expression. He applies just the slightest pressure against your skin, before speaking in a tone that makes it clear he’s getting fed up.

“You’re the one who wanted to be trained. If you can’t handle a few laps, then forget about getting into the top ten.”

“I don’t want to get into the top ten,” you huff, writhing in an attempt to break free of his grasp to no avail. Why does everyone and their mother assume you’re some tryhard goody two shoes? “And even if I did, running these laps isn’t gonna get me there. So can we just leave it at fifteen?”

Lieutenant Levi pulls you in closer, until you’re nearly nose to nose with him. Your eyes widen as he tightens his hold on you, and you despise that your heart beats faster for whatever godforsaken reason. Unwillingly, you think about what it would actually feel like to be wrapped up in his arms, to have his hands on your waist, to have his lips on your -

Fuck fuck fuck. Wrong and fucked up line of thought. Focus.

“You seem to think we’re collaborating here, (L/N). Let me make it clear,” he drawls lazily, “we’re not. You’ll do what I say, no questions asked.”

“I’m going to ask questions, sir. Blind obedience isn’t good for anyone.”

“I think it’s less to do with blind obedience, and more with you wanting to be a pain in the ass.”

“Very astute of you,” you say without thinking, and his shoulders move in what might have been a laugh, but it happens so quickly you’re not sure if you imagined it or not.

“Finish the laps,” he orders, letting go of you and jerking his head, telling you to hop to it.

You glare petulantly, but start running anyways. What he doesn’t realize is he just let you have a break, no matter how short it might have been, and that’s exactly what you needed. Not so clever, this one. You take the small win and feel triumphant, even though you still have to run nine more laps and your hair is still wet and it’s still a forbidden hour for anyone to be awake at.

Once the laps are done, Lieutenant Levi allows no further time for relaxation before ordering you into thirty push-ups, which is just thirty more than your preferred amount of push-ups. The amount of fucking delight he takes in putting his foot on your back, making it just a bit harder for you to get up each time, is unbelievable. He’s a damn sadist, who thrills in your pain.

After the push-ups are finished, you have to do squats. Once the squats are finished, you move on to crunches. Then around five million side kicks, or at least that’s what it feels like. Then forward lunges. Then tricep extensions against the tree. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

How fucking long is an hour anyway?

By the time the lieutenant finally tosses you a flask of water - he throws it so quickly it almost hits your face - you’re winded, out of breath, and dizzy. Nothing hurts per se, but your body is desperately begging for you to stop, to take a break, to just sit down for a single second. You know that any second now, you’ll be back in bed, and the only obstacle to that destination besides the fear that you might collapse halfway there is this asshole of a midget in front of you. You technically can’t leave until he dismisses you, a rule that you despise with all your being.

You think that dismissal is coming when he takes the flask back and then gives you another demand.

“Ten calf raises. Just a test run. I’ll see if I can put it into your routine.”

You look at him disbelievingly for two reasons - one, because he’s actually continuing this torture and two, he’s assuming you know what the hell calf raises are.

He sighs exasperatedly and then demonstrates. It seems simple enough, it’s just standing on your tippy toes, spreading your feet out, repeating the action, spreading them out even more, and then doing it again. Three angles, just a bit of balance for a few seconds.

At this point, you’ll do whatever it takes to go back to bed.

So you start. You do three (there’s three angles, so technically nine, but who’s counting? certainly not you) and everything’s fine.

The fourth set leaves you a bit sore, but whatever.

The fifth set hurts.

The sixth set stings like a bitch.

After the seventh, you cry out in pain. It’s quiet, but mortifying.

Great, just great. The whole point of this was to pick up on his weaknesses, and here you’ve accidentally exposed your own. You freeze completely, eyes on the ground, waiting for the lieutenant to say something about how weak you’re acting.

But he doesn’t say anything, and you’re too nervous to look at him in case he catches the embarrassment playing out on your face.

Eight. Your calves are killing you, but you’re not going to cry out again. Ever.

Nine. Holy shit. Are you on fire? You think you’re on fire.

One more. You can do this. You’ve done all the others.

“Hey,” a sharp voice cuts through the air, but you pay him no mind.

You clench your fists, muster up all your strength, and push yourself up as hard as you can.

And immediately regret it.

Your legs buckle under you, and you stumble with a yelp. You didn’t mean to. It just hurt so bad, but now you’re going to be on your knees again -

Up until now, you’d seen how fast Lieutenant Levi could move because he was constantly throwing you around like a child would throw around its favorite toy. When you feel a breeze against your skin, your mind is thrown into an alarmed state for a fraction of a second. He’s coming at you, to what? Push you? You’re already falling down, so nice try, jerk, but -

It takes you a few seconds to realize he’s caught you.

With his arms hooked under yours, he lets you put your weight on him, ignoring your astonished expression. Even the blunt pain is pushed aside as you take in the fact that he stopped you from falling. Apparently you can only be knocked down when he decides you can. For the life of you, you truly cannot figure out just what this man’s deal is.

“Well, then,” Levi murmurs against your ear, “we’ll leave that one out from now on.”

____________________

Millie informs you that you look like shit over breakfast, and you tell her to kindly fuck off.

____________________

These lovely morning meetings become routine. Since you’re waking up earlier, you try your best to go to sleep earlier too, but you’re a night owl who can’t be caged, so the operation isn’t really successful there.

Instead, you try to rest any second you can during the day. While Millie, Stephen and Ricky are reading over their notes under the same birch tree that you and Lieutenant Levi meet at, you’re lying on the grass with an arm thrown over your eyes. It’s not like you need to study that hard - one doesn’t need whole hours to learn that titans are dangerous.

Besides, your arms are sore from your push-ups this morning. You usually don’t do the same thing twice in a row, apparently the lieutenant likes to switch things up. Which is just fine with you, of course, you’ve never been a fan of the same old thing every day; you joined the military to get away from the feeling that all your days were stationary and felt the same. And the whole dead dad thing, but that’s kinda secondary.

“Try putting ice on it,” Stephen offers helpfully, the only one of the three to take your complaining in stride.

“Try putting a gag in your mouth,” Millie adds.

“Try taking the stick out of your ass,” you tell her pointedly before offering a grateful smile to Stephen.

“Have you considered asking yourself if this is worth it?” Ricky tosses his notes aside and nudges your head with his knee. “Your super duper revenge plan -”

“It’s a mega super duper revenge plan.”

“Yeah, that. Is it worth exhausting yourself like this?”

Surprisingly, Stephen is the one who speaks up. “I don’t think it’s right for a superior to disrespect his subordinate and get away with it without any repercussions.”

“Look, what he did was...sketchy,” Ricky concedes, “but he’s him, y’know? Some people are good enough to act like that and get away with it.”

“No one’s good enough to act like that. Do you know how hard he runs me into the ground every single day? He’s never satisfied, not until I’m fucking collapsing. The only reason he’s stopped dumping water on me is because he says it’s a waste of resources.” You blow out a puff of air, frustrated. Why does no one understand how not okay the lieutenant’s actions are? “And he never does anything himself. I haven’t picked up any weaknesses. I have to keep going until I find one.”

“That’ll take you your entire time here.”

“So be it,” you say dramatically, before finally sitting up.

You’ll stick to it for however long it takes. There are boundaries that should never be crossed, and Lieutenant Levi’s managed to cross every single one of them.

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a familiar figure. It’s him, of course it’s him. It’s not enough that he disturbs your sleep, no, he has to make his presence known during the day too. Sure, maybe he’s just going about his day and not actively trying to aggravate you, but he’s still in your line of sight and he has such a punchable face.

Maybe Lieutenant Levi senses that he’s being watched, because his head turns and he catches your gaze.

You wave with a sugary smile, acting like you weren’t just fantasizing about punching his face.

Without so much as an acknowledgement, he looks away and keeps walking.

You scoff. Rude fucking midget.

____________________

The best parts of your days are undeniably after hours. Or more specifically, that small period before dinner and bedtime, when there’s nothing required of you, and you can slip away. You like leaving a bit earlier than everyone else, just to enjoy the cool night outside. It’s funny, how there are so many rules and restrictions here at the military, but a girl can still just get up and wander outside at night and no one will look at her strangely. It’s a wonderful feeling, freedom.

You’re just about to begin what’s sure to be a leisurely walk around the grounds when there’s suddenly a vice-like grip on your arm. You gasp, the first instinct to defend yourself. You raise your fist and immediately launch it, only for it to be caught rather easily.

The lieutenant rolls his eyes at your attempt to defend yourself. “I sincerely hope you never get mugged.”

If he followed you out here, that’s frankly quite creepy and he should feel ashamed of himself.

“I hope someone steals your cravat,” you mutter, and the corners of his lips twitch in amusement. “Can you let go? Sir,” you add quickly - it was becoming easier to forget that you had to refer to him properly. “I have a walk to take that doesn’t involve doing push-ups or crunches.”

His eyes are alight with cruel intentions. You hate that you still find them fascinating. “I have a training exercise for you.”

“You’re a few hours early, Lieutenant.” You give him a condescending smile. “See, 4 AM actually isn’t until much much later. It’s okay, I know telling time can be tough.”

His lips purse in displeasure, and you mentally do a small, victorious dance.

“Be that as it may, I recall telling you that your training can take place at any time that I see fit.”

“But,” you protest, stomping your foot childishly, “you also said you didn’t want to interfere with my regular training!”

He makes a point of looking to the right and then to the left and then finally back at you. “I don’t see any drills going on around here. Do you?”

If you say you do, will he let you off? Probably not, he’ll just cart you off to the infirmary and declare you mental.

“Fine,” you mutter with gritted teeth, “what is it now?”

Without answering, he turns and beckons you to follow. Like a good little obedient soldier. You fume silently, walking behind with clenched fists. First he cuts into your rightful nap time, and now into your wonderful walking time. Is there no limit to the amount of serene, private moments he plans to intrude on?

For some reason, the two of you head indoors, towards the rooms and offices. You may just be a dumb cadet, but even you’re pretty certain that none of the exercises are done in here. Is he taking you to his room? Why would he -

Wait.

Your mouth falls open, but your steps don’t falter. This is highly inappropriate. You don’t know what kind of woman Lieutenant Levi takes you to be, but you did not sign up for this. So you ask him to train you and call him sir a few times, and the man thinks you’re all good and willing, does he? That since he’s Humanity’s Strongest, he can have whoever he wants? What an insult to the name of courting. Where he finds the nerve to keep pulling stunts like these, you’ll never know.

Training your ass. This is an indecent night call. And you would never, ever -

Well.

Maybe. In a hot, scandalous kind of way that you would only ever tell Millie about. Not that you’d enjoy it, not with him. It’s more the forbidden aspect that’s attractive. It’s certainly not about the lieutenant, even with his nimble fingers and cold eyes and sharp tongue that you’re sure he could work wonders with - okay so maybe it is about him a little bit.

But it would also be delightful to turn him down. To watch the light leave his eyes (not that it was there in the first place) as you proudly tell him you respect yourself too much to sleep with a man who’s so arrogant and callous. Yeah, that’ll show him.

His fingers, though.

You’re so caught up in your little debate that you almost crash into him when he stops in front of a door. Ah, a private area. The barracks? How many members of his squad does he share a room with? You twitch uncomfortably.

“Here we are.” Even his voice sounds sultry. Or maybe it always sounds like that. Who knows.

“Why are we here, sir?” Your throat feels dry.

He turns and gives you a look that is decidedly not sexy. Rather, it seems like he thinks you’re the most idiotic person he’s ever had the unfortunate pleasure of laying his eyes on.

“You’re going to clean up in here, did you not hear me the first time?”

What?

You’re not sure what feels the most embarrassing. The fact that he’s apparently decided you’re the official Training Corp maid, or that you had actually been so comfortably considering sleeping with him that you tuned out what he was saying.

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you frown. “Sir, I mean no offense -” He raises a brow, clearly ready to get offended - “but your, er, sanitary habits are pretty much known to everyone here. I doubt that I’ll be able to make your room sparkle more than it already does.”

Lieutenant Levi scoffs. “Then it’s a good thing this isn’t my room.”

He opens the door and your mouth falls open in horror.

“This is Lieutenant Hange’s lab,” he explains as he steps in, “and before you ask, I’ve already secured her permission for you to clean up.” Producing a broom out of thin air, he shoves it in your waiting hands.

“Lieutenant, I...this is…”

“Disgusting. Yeah. So better not waste any time. You need to get some sleep if you want to survive your morning drills tomorrow.”

“Lieutenant, I’m from Stohess.” Too late do you realize that you’re pleading. “I’ve never even seen a pig’s den that is as messy as this.”

Countless exercises at the crack of dawn, and this is what’s broken you. The room is horrifying. It’s straight out of any neat freak’s nightmares. You don’t know how the lieutenant even stomachs looking at it.

“Never cleaned your own room, huh? Not surprised,” he muses, and you shoot him a dirty look.

This isn’t the spoiled brat in you talking, no, this is the sane human who knows that this room is basically hell incarnate.

“How does this count as training? You just need someone to do the Survey Corps’ dirty work!”

“Is there anything you don’t complain about?” he demands, but oho, you are ready.

“Exercising I can understand. Your random bursts of physical violence - harsh, but whatever.” Not like you’re trying to get vengeance for them, but he doesn’t have to know that. “This is just work, and I want to be paid if you’re making me do work.”

This makes him snort, shaking his head at you like he’s your teacher and you’re not understanding the most basic of concepts. “You’re not a merchant, (L/N), you’re a soldier.”

“A soldier, not a servant!”

“I am ordering you to do this,” he says softly, “are you disobeying an order, Cadet?”

Well, when he puts it like that, you’d rather not get kicked out of the military before you even complete your training. And certainly not before you make the lieutenant pay with everything you have. Oh, revenge will be sweet.

Begrudgingly, you step into the lab, swallowing your nervous inhibitions. This place is a dump, you wonder how Lieutenant Hange even gets any work done in here.

Goddammit, you are never going to clean this place up, no matter how hard you try!

“Like I said, we still need you to sleep,” the he-devil murmurs behind you, “so this better be done in an hour. I’ll come check on you then.”

Oh, fuck him. You wait until he leaves, and then get to work.

____________________

His royal highness comes back an hour later just like he said he would. When he opens the door, he finds you sprawled on the floor against the wall, tired but with your chest puffed up proudly, eyes zeroed in on him to see his reaction.

The room is spotless and distinctly organized. Papers that were strewn everywhere are now in one pile next to a stack of Lieutenant Hange’s many, many journals. Vials and flasks have been placed on top of one another by the sink, where they can be quickly washed and ready for use. The tops of the desks are spotless and dust-free. The floor is not only clean, but shiny.

There’s a brief flash of surprise on Lieutenant Levi’s face as he looks back at you. You allow yourself to smirk. Sure, your arms hurt even worse than they already did and you still feel like a maid because you’ve done more cleaning in the last hour than you have in your entire life (not because you’re spoiled, just because no rooms back home are ever this messy), but it’s worth it to see that he’s impressed by you, no matter how he tries to hide it.

You don’t know why you want him to be impressed in the first place, but you decide not to question it right now.

“Not bad,” he finally relents, walking up to you. “You plan to sleep here, or are you gonna get up?”

You snort. Such a charmer, this one. Well, you’re too lazy to stand on your own, so you hold your hand up expectantly. It’s really the least he can do after being no help at all.

After giving you a long look, he takes your hand and pulls you up to your feet. Your legs feel a little wobbly, and you wryly think about how you’d figured you’d be leaving the base with wobbly legs anyway. What a ridiculous fantasy. You hate him, and he probably hates you too. You would never do anything of any sort with him.

“Go to bed,” he orders quietly, taking note of how tired you look.

“So, 5 AM tomorrow, right?”

Again, he looks dryly amused like he always does when you say things like this, as though you’re just the funniest fucking person he’s ever met. “Nice try, (L/N).”

“When do you even sleep?” you question, brows furrowed in curiosity. You’ve wondered for a while.

Lieutenant Levi shrugs. “Usually from 1 to 3.”

You blink in disbelief, shaking your head. “Sorry, what?”

“Got a problem with that?” He’s clearly not fond of where the conversation’s headed, since he grabs you by the back of your collar and pushes you forward, out of the room. You comply, but you’re not done with this line of questioning. No one can just get two hours of sleep daily and continue to function normally.

“Is this why you’re so grouchy all the time?”

“You have no respect at all,” he quips, still shoving you ahead. The base is for the most part, bare and empty, since nearly everyone’s gone to bed by now. There’s only a few people still around, and they pay the two of you no mind.

“Have you always been an insomniac?”

“Fail to see why it’s any of your business.”

“Are you trying to make me an insomniac?”

The lieutenant sucks in an exasperated breath. “No, then I’d be punishing all insomniacs.”

“Rude.”

“You’re one to talk.”

You don’t know why it’s so easy to engage in banter with him. He never discourages you, as much as he points out how unruly you are. In fact, he seems to enjoy it almost as much as you do.

And you do enjoy it, as much as you don’t want to.

“Lieutenant,” you begin hesitantly, not sure why you’re saying this, “I hear chamomile helps people go to sleep.”

“So it does,” he mutters dryly, “thanks for the observation.”

Fuck him, you were trying to be helpful.

“Are you going to walk me all the way back?” You hum thoughtfully, craftily. “People might get the wrong idea.”

At this, his footsteps stop, and you wince. God, your mouth really just runs a mile ahead of your brain at all times, doesn’t it? It won’t be satisfied until you’ve dug yourself into a hole that you just can’t get out of. Implying to Lieutenant Levi that people would think the two of you had sex is just the icing on top of the snarky cake you’ve been baking him since you got here. When you turn around, he’s looking at you with an appraising expression.

“What wrong idea will they get, Cadet?” he asks softly, grey eyes piercing through you.

Your mouth is dry. Surely he knows, does he need you to say it? Of course he does, he wants to make you uncomfortable. You can’t even blame him, this one’s all on you.

Screw it, you might as well be blunt.

“They might think we slept together.”

If he’s taken aback, he doesn’t show it. “I see. And what would you do if these rumors spread?”

You take a deep breath. “Gouge my eyes out, sir.”

This time, you can’t chalk it up to your imagination or a trick of the light. He scoffs, but he’s laughing, normally cruel lips twisted in a humorous smile. You’re surprised by how pleasant the sight is, like looking at a lily in a field of roses. Out of place, yet so very beautiful, a sight you can’t take your eyes off of. Just how does one man manage to be so fascinating? It takes a lot to make you want to swoon, especially for someone who you harbor such negative feelings for. How does he manage it so easily?

“Can’t have that.” His expression is still lit up in mirth. “You better go the rest of the way yourself.”

You salute, and turn around. Even as you walk, the image of him laughing - laughing at something you said - is burned into your mind, and it makes something in your chest clench in an all too unfamiliar way.

Maybe he watches you go, but you’re too proud to look back and check.

____________________

The air is abuzz with excitement. Everyone’s been waiting for this day. If you didn’t know better, you’d say that everyone joined the military simply so that they could do this.

This being using the ODM gear, of course. Everyone has mastered the basics by now, or they’ve dropped out. The one who stayed have perfected balancing and not falling flat on their faces, they’ve watched senior veterans use the gear, and they’ve gotten a brief example of what it feels like to be shot forward through the air. Utilizing the blades properly will eventually be taught too, but for now, they get to practice flying. Actual flying. How amazing is that?

While people usually pair off on their own, Grumman sees fit to assign pairs himself today, much to everyone’s chagrin. By some shitty luck, you’re not paired with Millie, Ricky, or Stephen. You’re not even paired with Nifa or Jack, who you’re friendly enough with.

No, you’re paired with Petra fucking Ral.

You probably wouldn’t even know or care about who Petra was if not for Millie’s incessant complaining about her. Petra is one of the few people who balanced in the gear belts perfectly on her first try (you were also in that group, but Millie’s not gonna complain about you to you), Petra is all their teachers’ favorite because of how easily she retains information, Petra doesn’t have a hair out of place even when she fights. Petra this, Petra that.

Petra is Millie’s main competition for the number one position.

Frankly, you think your best friend is projecting.

“Do you feel a bit ridiculous too?” she asks after the two of you have put your gear on.

“Just a little.” You face her and strike a pose. “Do you think the titans would appreciate some more flair?”

Petra laughs, nodding. “Some eye candy would go a long way, I’m sure.”

The two of you exchange grins, straightening to attention when the instructor passes in front of you. He looks between you and murmurs something to himself before shouting out loud for just about everybody to hear. “(L/N) and Ral will go first! All the rest of you little shits, pay attention!”

Apparently being paired with golden girl Petra Ral means that you’re supposed to be a role model or something now. You groan inwardly - it seems everyone is convinced you want to be a model cadet. When will they get it through their thick skulls that you’re not that boring?

You and your partner step apart until there’s a safe distance between you two. In front of you is a forest, a forest that is the perfect place to practice with the ODM gear. You grip the handles firmly, knees crouching a little. Excitement bubbles inside you as you tense in anticipation. This is it! This is the first step to you becoming a full-fledged soldier. You’re one step closer to everything you’ve worked for.

“On my mark! Ready, set…”

You toss your shoulders back and push your chest forward and out of the corner of your eye you see Petra do the same.

“Go.”

Whizzing sounds are heard as the two of you fire your cables at the same time. You gasp as you’re shot forward, hurtling through the air at an electrifying speed. The trees rush past you in a blur of green and brown as you go up, up, up into the sky. You let out a breathless laugh as the hooks come free. This feeling, this feeling of your stomach jumping, this nerve-wracking feeling of doing something so dangerous and so thrilling at the same time - you’ve been craving it all your life. And here you are. You’re doing it, you’re actually up in the air and you’re flying. It’s incredible. You could stay up here forever.

So enthralled are you by this experience that you forget to hook to the next target, and with an unceremonious shriek you tumble through the branches and fall on the dirt below. Some gets in your mouth, unfortunately, and you hear loud chortles behind you. You spit out the rancid soil, shooting a glare behind you when you hear another whiz.

Up above you, Petra is still in the air. She’s slowly lowering herself down, though, concern dancing in her eyes as she stumbles to a stop a few feet away from you and rushes to help you up.

“Are you okay?” She looks genuine.

You sigh. Fucking Millie, she couldn’t share your distaste for Lieutenant Levi but she found it in her to hate this girl?

“I’m alright.” You take her hand and stand up, dusting dirt off your clothes. “Just got carried away.”

Petra giggles. “You were saying something about flair, right?”

You smile wryly, beckoning for her to come closer as an idea pops into your head. “We’ve got about two minutes before Grumman sends in the next pair. I bet I can get deeper into the forest than you can.”

Her eyes shine competitively, and she nods.

And without a beat, you two are up in the air again. You’re not a natural like she is, but you sincerely doubt that she or anyone else appreciates the wind whipping through their face quite like you do. You belong up here. You can feel it. For the first time in your life, you know instantly that you’re creating a memory that you will cherish for however little time you might have left.

____________________

Your heart beats with excitement as you bounce on the heels of your feet, looking behind your shoulder nervously. “Hurry up, Ricky!”

“I’m hurrying, now be quiet, someone’s gonna hear you.”

You don’t see how. No one is wandering around the kitchens right now. The cooks who prepare the food left their stations ages ago, and no one else in the base would have any reason to be wandering down here. Normally, you wouldn’t have any reason either, but today is a bit of a special day. Or more accurately, it’s a precursor to a special day. The day after tomorrow will mark the Survey Corps’ next expedition and as always, the cooks are preparing something special for the heroes and fools. An energizer for some, and a last meal for others. While you know that the lowly cadets haven’t done anything heroic - yet - you and Ricky agreed that some pastries would surely make everyone happy. Just a few measly sweet tarts, the Scouts wouldn’t miss them. You didn’t lay a hand on the meat, knowing fully well that most of the people going out in two days would savor it much more than you would.

Ricky is quickly shoving the tarts into a pouch, taking his sweet time counting so that everyone got the same amount. Fucking outer city peasant, concerned with fairness. You sigh impatiently, bouncing on your feet. You’re hungry. The bread at dinner seemed even more stale than usual today.

“Hey, what are you two doing?”

Your eyes widen at the same time as Ricky’s - why in the holy hells is the head chef still here? Does he sleep here? Before you can consider the disturbing implications of that possibility, you’re grabbing Ricky’s arm and running for all you’re worth. You’re counting on the fact that it’s dark in the kitchens, so hopefully he didn’t see your face. Unfortunately, the chef seems intent on finding out who broke into his precious kitchen, because he clambers on out after you.

After running for two minutes, he shows no sign of stopping.

“S-split up,” Ricky pants, wheezing as you two flee.

“Fine,” you huff, a bit proud of the fact that you’ve got more tolerance than he does, “but I want leverage.”

Without waiting for him to respond, you snatch a pastry from the top of the bag and skid to the hallway on the right while Ricky keeps running forward. The chef chooses to chase him, and you cackle maniacally at your friend’s terrible luck. You’re home free, and you have your dessert as a trophy too.

You turn your head to double check, turn back, and then crash face first into someone’s chest.

Rough hands grip your wrists to catch and steady you, and when your eyes adjust to the darkness, you want to scream.

Why is he everywhere?

Lieutenant Levi’s gaze goes from the tart in your hand to your panicked expression, and he understands what’s going on without any need for an explanation from you. He takes a step closer to you, tugging you firmly so you can’t move back. You swallow nervously, stuttering out apologies for crashing into him and for being up past curfew. He listens to you ramble, but doesn’t let go. His eyes flicker to the pastry again.

“Those are for the Scouts,” he murmurs lowly. Is it your stupid imagination again or does his voice sound more husky than usual? “Not for fucking brats, (L/N).”

Normally you’d answer with some witty comeback, but you’re feeling a bit dizzy with how close he is and how hungrily his stormy eyes are watching you. The most you can do is open and close your mouth like a fish out of water. You’re in deep shit now, you know that much.

Without removing his piercing gaze from your face, he lowers his head a bit, and takes a bite out of the tart in your hand.

You could swear your heart stops beating for a second. His grip on your wrists suddenly feels like it’s hard enough to make them bruise, even though you can tell he’s not holding on that tight. You watch him chew, swallow, and then lick his lips, all without looking away for even a second. It’s mesmerizing. Before you can tell what you’re doing, you raise the tart a bit, and let him take another bite. As though you’re fucking feeding him, like a good fucking girl. The lieutenant’s lips curl into a small smirk, and you think you’re going to drop on the spot when he takes a third bite, finishing the pastry, the tip of his tongue just brushing against your index finger.

You wonder if he can hear just how erratically your heart is pounding.

Levi’s close, too close. You don’t know what to do, how to break his scrutiny of your face, or if you even want to. He leans in, just a little. Your breath gets caught in your throat. When did you forget how to breathe? It should be easy. Suck in air, let it out, repeat.

He tilts his head a millimeter.

You sigh in anticipation, lean forward, and…

He turns away at the last second, and your lips meet his cheek.

Fuck.

You gasp against his skin, not moving. From his amused expression, he can tell that your face is burning up. Somehow, he’s managed to embarrass you again, even if this instance isn’t public and doesn’t end with you in pain. This feels worse than all the other times, though. Before, you were simply thrown around, his way of calling you weak. Physically weak. Not strong enough, a rookie. But this, this is him telling you that he knows he lords some power over you, something that transcends his rank. Something personal.

“Thanks for the snack,” he says, stepping back only a little (see: not enough) to cup your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Now hurry to bed before I decide I want more.”

Heat pools from your stomach right down to your core. If possible, your cheeks grow even hotter.

The lieutenant lets go and turns around, leaving you standing there with a wide-eyed expression, feeling strangely empty as you watch him go.

You’re never going to let him catch you breaking curfew again.

If you’ve never done calf raises before, I do not recommend, they genuinely will leave you sore for a bit if you’re not used to them. But otherwise, yay for exercise I guess.

Reader is very cocky but we love her for it.

We don’t have Petra slander here, folks. I adore her. Millie doesn’t, though. Rip.

Let me know what you think!

#aot #attack on titan #aot x reader #levi x reader #snk x reader #levi ackerman #snk

209 notes · View notes

tetsurouskuro · 4 years

Text

Jealousy

pairing: oikawa tooru x fem!reader

warnings: a bit of angst?, fluff, smut, sensory sex, blindfold, fingering, squirting, slight bondage

word count: 3,614

tag list: @myherowritings @iwaqchan (message me if you want to be added)

a/n: i just wanted some nice boyfriend oikawa but still keep it smutty! i wrote this in like a day and i hope you guys like it! feedback is always appreciated <3

Synopsis: You get angsty and jealous when Tooru can’t spend time with you and keeps on talking to other girls in his class. He then decides to show you how much he loves you by letting you feel his love...

MASTERLIST!

≫ —– ≪·•♕•·≫ —– ≪

Boys at both school and outside of it had always ignored you, just like you ignored them. You minded your own business, and so did they.

Until you started high school. It was all fine and dandy in the beginning, but suddenly you started getting attention from boys. At first you thought it was only temporary as you did not pay them any attention and, in your head, it was simply because you started to become a woman and develop breast.

It was in the beginning of your second year of high school when a particular brown-haired boy started paying attention to you. Flirting and giving you compliments (which made you blush) but you also knew he was a player. A womanizer, or that is what the rumors said at least.

You tried to ignore him as he had girls follow him everywhere he went, like a pack of horny lionesses waiting to jump on their king. But he didn’t pay them as much attention as he did with you. He was stubborn to get you and after what felt like you had declined him for the hundred time you finally agreed on one date, just one.

But one soon turned into two and two turned into three and suddenly you were dating. You and the most popular guy in school: Oikawa Tooru.

Since he had a reputation you took it slow and he did not complain. He was willing to do anything for you and for that you were grateful. He opened up to you and talked about everything that went on in that pretty mind of his and you learned quickly that he was very dedicated to his sport and that he was skillful at it.

Soon enough you appeared at every game he had, cheering on him and his teammates. You loved how cocky he looked and was when he played. He had an aura surrounding him with both talent and leadership.

Just when you were about to go on summer vacation, he was chosen to be the next captain and he was both honored and happy, not surprised. He knew it was coming. The both of you having almost been together for a year you decided to gift him yourself. Having him being your first and it was worth the wait, for the both of you.

Soon summer was over, and you were back to school once again. This year he was going to be super busy with practice, more than before. He loved you, of course he did you were the love of his life now, but he also loved volleyball.

“When can I see you?” you had asked on the phone, late one evening.

“I don’t know. I have practice again tomorrow and then I need to study for a test.”

“Yes, of course. Volleyball and school come first.” You tried to sound happy on the phone while speaking, but in reality, you were hurting, and you felt silly because he had a life beside you.

“I miss you though. Never forget that.”

“I won’t, and I miss you too Tooru.”

“Fuck. I want talk more, but I need to go. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Yes. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper back just as he hangs up the phone. You fist your shirt in your hands, both angry and hurt at that you cannot spend as much time with him as you want. At least you get to eat lunch with him in school.

≫ —– ≪·•♕•·≫ —– ≪

The next day you arrive at school just in time before class begins. You were never late, always in time for class but since you were feeling down, sleeping was harder than staying awake.

You basically sprint to your homeroom and are just about to walk in when in the distance you spot Tooru, talking to a girl. Way too close for your liking and you feel your heart crack a little.

You trust Tooru, but since you both started third year it has been rough for you and sometimes your mind wanders and you think that maybe it’s better if you weren’t together so he could focus on volleyball without disappointing you and you having to feel disappointed.

You stand still and watch them. He is smiling towards her and that breaks your heart. A sharp pain stabs you in the chest and you can feel tears welling up in your eyes, but you would not cry. Not over a man. You take a deep breath and grab the door handle and walk in.

Tooru sees from the corner of his eyes your figure and now his heart races. This might have looked suspicious to other people and if you saw this, he was worried what you might think.

≫ —– ≪·•♕•·≫ —– ≪

Lunch break came fast, but you decided to skip lunch. You did not want to see Tooru and you hoped to god that he did not come and look for you.

“(y/n)?” his voiced echoed in the hallway.

“Shit,” you whispered to yourself and searched for a place to hide. Seeing the girl’s bathroom, you rushed through the door.

Is it normal to hide from your boyfriend?

The sound of you getting a text message got your attention. Pulling up your phone you see that it’s from Tooru. Of course.

Oikawa Tooru: Hi, where are you? I’m hungry :(

You: I’m not feeling well, sorry. I’ll make it up to you <3

Oikawa Tooru: Is there something I can do? Maybe a massage or some kisses? ;)

You: No, thank you.

You feel the vibration of another text but ignore it. You stay in the bathroom for a while and can feel yourself getting more anxious. What if Tooru does not love you? What if he has fallen for someone else, or worse. What if he has cheated but does not want to confess?

You shake your head of those thoughts that erupted. He loved you and he would never do that.

Taking a deep breath, you look yourself in the mirror and fix your hair and then exit the bathroom. You start walking towards your homeroom, turning the corner you bump into a hard chest and fall on the floor. You land on your butt and when you raise your head to see who you collided with you see that it is Iwaizumi Hajime, Tooru’s best friend.

“You okay, (y/n)-san?” He asks and holds out his hand towards you. Taking it, he helps you up and you brush off the dirt that is stuck on your skirt.

“Yes, thank you Iwa-chan.”

“No worries. How are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m good. Why?”

“Shittykawa told me you were ill.”

“Oh. I’m feeling much better,” you laugh and scratch the back of your head. “Oh, look at the time. Lesson starts soon, see you Iwa-chan.” You basically run from him and to your homeroom.

≫ —– ≪·•♕•·≫ —– ≪

You sigh and close your locker, leaning your forehead on it with your eyes closed. How are you going to act next time you speak with Tooru? He was just talking to a girl from his class, there is nothing weird with that. You speak to boys from your class, not very often but it happens.

Pulling yourself together you pull away from your locker and head towards the school entrance not expecting to see or meet anyone on your way home. Tooru was at practice so you were definitely not going to see him.

Except that is who you see when you exit the building. He’s not alone, he is smiling, laughing and talking to not one, not two but three girls. You didn’t recognize any of them, so you knew they were either girls from first or second year.

Standing still you watch him interact with them, he doesn’t do anything wrong but that doesn’t help with your emotions.

You see Tooru turn his head and spot you and you instantly get nervous and start to leave, heading home and you’re quick with your steps, not wanting him to catch up to you (which is stupid since he’s way faster than you).

“S’cuse me,” you hear him say and then the sound of his footsteps. “Babe. Wait up.”

You quicken your steps further, soon you’ll be running.

“Babe,” his voice speaks loudly as he grabs your arm and pulls you towards him. “Stop. Why are you running from me?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I can’t think of a reason…”

“Are you… jealous?” He snickers. Turning your head sideways you don’t want to look at him.

“N-No…”

“But you are. That’s so cute.”

“I-I am not. Brush that stupid grin off your face,” you pout and pull back your arm that he still had a tight grip on.

“Aw babe, don’t be jealous, I only love you and you know it.”

“Do I though? Because to me it looked like you enjoyed that conversation. You should rejoin them and go have some fun. Maybe you can get their numbers and start hanging out with them. Or maybe-“

“(y/n)!”

“-Maybe you can fuck them instead of me!”

“That’s enough! What’s up with you?”

Tears starts to fall down your face as you softly ask him “do you love me?”

“What?”

“I said, do you love me?” he raises his hand to cup one side of your face, brushing away the tears that have fallen, his other hand cups your other side. The tilts your head upwards so you have no choice but to meet his gaze. His brown eyes filled with nothing but love for you.

“Of course, I love you, baka.” He places a soft tender kiss on your lips. “I love you so much.”

You keep quiet, not knowing how to respond. A feeling of embarrassment starts to erupt, and you try to look away, a slight blush creeping up from your cheeks and down to your neck.

“What made you doubt my love?” His question comes out of the blue and takes you by surprise.

“We have not seen each other in a long time. You have been practicing and studying for a long time now and when I saw you with that girl earlier it made me question your love for me,” you confess straight out and your cheeks goes from pink to red.

“Is that so.” It is quiet for a minute and you have no idea if you should interrupt the silence or stay quiet but Tooru’s faster and cups your face with his palms and pulls you in for a rough kiss. “Come with me.”

≫ —– ≪·•♕•·≫ —– ≪

Tooru had basically dragged you home with him. You had trailed behind and asked where he was taking you and what about his practice.

“I took the night off since you were not feeling well,” he had responded and continued to drag you along with him.

Now you were stood in his hallway, the house empty and quiet as the booth of you took off your shoes. He turns to face you and grabs your bag with one hand and intertwines his fingers with your other while pulling you with him and towards his bedroom.

Once inside, he closes the door and throws both of your bags on the floor and turns around to face you.

“Now that we are finally here. Take of your clothes and get on the bed.”

“W-What?”

“You heard. Or do you need help?” he moves towards you and you back away until you feel a wall meet your back. You swallow and start to pant. When did you get so flustered?

Tooru is now in front of you, his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt. They start to travel down until they are at the hem of your skirt. His index finger moves so it is on the inside of your thigh and move upwards and to your core. He flicks his finger on your clit through your panties and you let out a soft moan, closing your eyes.

“Seems like someone is a little excited,” he smirks, and you know now that you cannot say no to him.

“What are you planning?”

“It’s a secret,” he winks. “Now listen to me and please tale off your clothes and get on the bed. You’re going to love it.”

You take him for his words and start to undress. Once you are completely naked you turn and head towards his bed, climbing up seductively so he can watch your fabulous ass being almost bent over for him.

“That ass of yours is dangerous babe,” he speaks, almost naked himself. Once he is all bear he walks towards where you have laid down and hovers over you. “Do you trust me?”

“Now you’re scaring me,” you nervously laugh.

“I’m not going to hurt you. Just answer me.”

“Yes. Of course, I do.”

“Great,” a swift kiss on your lips and he is gone but returns quickly, carrying some things in his hands. Making you quirk up one of your eyebrows.

“What are you-“

“Shh. You said you trusted me.”

“Yes, but-“

“No buts. Now, arms above your head.”

“Wha-“

“(y/n)! Just do as I say for once.” Muttering some curse words, you place both of your arms above your head and he straddles on your hips, tying your arms together with his red school tie. “Fucking perfect,” he winks.

He then picks up a blindfold, making you quirk up your eyebrow.

“We’ve been together for over a year now and when you got jealous, it made me feel a bit of a pride in myself. But also hurt that you don’t trust me around other girls. Yes, I did have a reputation of a player, but I would never ever cheat on you.”

Silence is filled in the air and it makes you feel guilty over your actions and how you reacted to seeing him with those girls. How stupid can I be?

“So,” he pulls the blindfold over your head, seeing nothing but black as he places it over your eyes. “I want to show you how much I love you.”

“How is this showing me exactly? I can’t see shit.” A heartfelt laugh escapes his lips and his hands rubs your cheek.

“You are going to feel it, babe.” He plugs a pair of earphones into your ears, a soft erotic melody starts to play and all you can hear is the song playing. You can feel him leave the bed and not a single sound can be heard except the music.

You jump when you feel something soft and ticklish on your chest. You soon relax when it starts to move up and down your torso, soon realizing it’s a feather Tooru is using.

The feather moves to your right breast and starts to pay attention to your hardening nipple, then to your other. Once he has payed them a little attention he moves downward and starts to slowly move it up and down your inner thighs, making you squirm on the bed, letting a small moan escape your lips.

You’re moaning, panting and huffing. Wanting more. He is taking his time with riling you up, building up a pressure of wanting more, and wanting to cum. You’re a wriggling mess.

The feather disappears and you are holding your breath, waiting for it to appear somewhere else. But instead you feel the bed sink and then his mouth leaving kisses on your shin and traveling up. You let out the breath that you were holding just as he reaches your pelvis and start to do the same to your other side.

A loud moan escapes your mouth when his tongue touches your clit, flicking on it and making you writhe and be a complete mess.

He places his palms on each side of your inner thigh and spreads them wide, his breath hitting your most private parts.

“Fuck Tooru,” you sigh, and he responds by licking up and down your slit, sucking up all your wetness that has formed and leakad out of your cunt. He cleans you up with his mouth and starts sucking on your clit, his lips around your swollen bud. Your back arches and you try to pull your hands away but are stopped by the tie holding them together.

Still sucking on your clit, Tooru pushes his index finger inside of you and your walls clamp around it. Feeling you pulsing around his finger and he knew you wanted more, so he listened and pushed one more finger inside, his index and middle finger thrusting slowly in and out of you while his lips sucks on your clit. You feel him arch both of his fingertips, them hitting your g-spot effectively and without no further do, you cum all over his fingers.

“TOORU!” you scream while throwing your head back in pure ecstasy, your back arching. Your body shaking from orgasming hard, his fingers keep thrusting in and out of you. The tip of his tongue flicking up and down your clit while you come undone, wanting to push him away from the sensation but also wanting more.

Tooru watches you, his eyes fixated on your breasts that keep wiggling from your movements. Your hard nipples wanting some of his attention. He lifts his left hand and with his index and thumb rolls your right nipple between them, pinching them slightly.

“T-Tooru, I- Shit. Oh god,” you pant and writhe, wanting his cock inside you but you know that he won’t give it to you until you have at least cum one more time.

Tooru’s fingers get rougher and starts pounding into your wet cunt faster and harder and the pressure in your lower abdomen starts to increase. You’re close once again and you both hate and love it how he knows your body so well.

He knows what to do and when to do it. His fingers are like magic to you, he takes you to places you’ve never been before, and his cocky ass knows it.

His tongue leaves your clit, as does his left hand on your nipple. Places his hand on your lower abdomen, right above your uterus and puts some pressure on it. His fingers fucking your cunt, hard, fast and aggressive and you know exactly what he’s trying to do.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Tooru, I’m- I’m gonna cum. Fuuuuuck,” and you do. You cum again. Your legs trembling as a warm liquid releases from you and onto the bed, your back arched so much you feel like it might snap. Your mouth open but no sound coming out from it.

A pool of wetness can be felt when you come down from your high, and you’re embarrassed, but not for long as you feel Tooru push his cock roughly inside you. The earphones are thrown away and instead of hearing music you hear a squelching, wet sound echoing.

Tooru places his palms on the back of your thighs, pushing them towards your chest so that the front is touching your torso. Your ass is being slightly lifted in the air as Tooru’s weight is pushing down on the back of your thighs, his hips slapping against your ass.

“Shit babe, you’re so wet. Fuck,” Tooru moans as his thrusts keep hitting deep inside of you, the tip of his cock gracing your g-spot.

“Tooru. Babe- I- Shit I’m about to cum again.”

“Yes baby, cum. Cum all over my cock (y/n),” the pressure returning yet again, and you release all over his thick cock, your walls pulsing around him. Tooru quicken his pace and you know he is close.

“Cum, Tooru. Please cum inside me.”

“Fuuuuck (y/n)!” he yells out your name, his hips still as he releases his load inside you, milking out all his semen and filling you up. A few grunts escaping his mouth, heavy breathing can be heard from his nose as he tries to come down from his high. Both of you are panting, that being the only sound in his room.

“Are you okay?” he asks out of breath as he removes the blindfold, throwing it on the bed next to you. He then continues to remove the knot around your wrists.

“I’m okay,” you smile, and he returns it. Once you’re free he tosses the tie on the floor and eases out of you.

“Stay put,” he commands, walking away to throw on a pair of boxer briefs and head into the bathroom next to his room. You can feel his semen slowly slipping out of you, but Tooru is quickly back and is carrying a towel in his hand. He reaches the bed and sits down on the edge and starts to clean you up.

“I can’t believe you squirted,” he smirks, and you blush.

“Me neither,” you confess. Once he’s done with cleaning you up, he takes off his boxers and lies down on the bed beside you.

“Come,” he says, and you place your head on his naked, sweaty and somewhat sticky chest. His arms wrapping themselves around you and holding you close to him.

“I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“I know. But if I get to fuck some sense into you then please, do it again.”

“I’m serious Tooru. I’m sorry. I should never have-“

“(y/n), I know. Let us just forget it for now and cuddle.”

“Okay.” He leaves a kiss on your forehead and you smile, feeling happy and contended. Slowly closing your eyes and embracing the pure moment of being utterly and completely in love with this man.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq!!#oikawa x reader #oikawa toru #oikawa tooru #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa smut #oikawa toru smut #oikawa tooru smut #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu smut

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1990jeevas · 3 years

Note

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

#shit self #asks #boku no hero academia #long post #bakugou katsuki #yes i am a bakugou kinnie shut the fuck up /lh #this is all /nm btw its just so much easier to make my long posts aggressive yk #this is just how i talk irl but Better Formatted #info dump #kinz #anti mitsuki #discourse #bangerz

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the-void-i-scream-into · 3 years

Text

White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 3/3

Full Story: Part 1, Part 2

Hey my beautiful readers. Thank you so much for sticking around till now. I was honestly so terrified of posting this fanfic because I had never done that before but everyone’s response has been so kind to me. Thank you.

This is the final part. I hope you all enjoyed the story. As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC who are the best people on Tumblr.

Quick Info: The songs used in this chapter are You Were Beautiful by Day6. Park Yoona who plays Sujin said in an interview that she liked Day6, specifically this song. Haru by Royal Pirates is a personal favorite of mine. It has the same theme as True Beauty that in real love, things like looks don’t matter. The final song that Seojun sings to Sujin is Half Moon by Dean. Hwang In Yeop who plays Seojun stated that he liked this song in an interview.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 16.2k [this one is LONG]

Rating: T

PART 3

“What have I done?” Sujin pulled at her hair in frustration.

The deal she had made with Han Seojun had been the on account of the many shots of soju she had taken. It was only when she had sobered up the next morning that she realized, with horror, just what exactly she had promised.

It was a bad idea. On paper it sounded plausible; two people suffering from the same pain could empathize with each other. But in reality, going through a heartbreak meant that you needed someone to support you, not the other way around. Trying to support someone whilst being in pain yourself was hard. And in this particular case, it would be impossible. Mainly because the people Kang Sujin and Han Seojun liked were with each other.

Sujin could see her and Han Seojun’s fledgling friendship going up in flames before it had even had a chance to fly. She would always want to talk about Lee Suho and he would resent that since Suho was the one dating Jukyung. Seojun would want to talk about Jukyung and Sujin would find that annoying for the same reason.

It was a recipe for disaster.

“Yah, gimme your number.” Sujin had demanded last night, handing Han Seojun her phone after he had agreed to her stupid proposal. Seojun had obediently entered his number at her behest. She programmed her number in his phone as well.

“There. Now we can text each other if we ever need to talk.”

“Ya, why am I Gangster in your phone?” Seojun had protested when he had saw her type it out.

Sujin had chuckled, drunk on soju. “Because you’re a gangster, you gangster.”

“Is that so?” Seojun proceeded to type away furiously into his phone. He held it up for Sujin to see.

“Princess? Are we kindergarteners?” Sujin had frowned.

Seojun stuck his tongue out. “That’s what you get for naming me Gangster.”

Sujin had retaliated, editing his contact. “Here!” She held up her phone.

“Wha-What? Twerp?”

Sujin blanked on the argument that had proceeded after this but she knew they did argue. To the point that the owner of the tent bar kicked them out.

Now Sujin was stuck with the contact named as Twerp on her phone and she had no idea what to do with it. Should she text him? Should she delete it? Should she just pretend last night didn’t happen?

She knew she should choose the third option. Or even the second. But her hand itched to send Seojun a text and see if he really was up for hanging out.

All day long Sujin kept checking her phone, looking for any new messages or missed calls she may have received. All she got were some memes from Suah and everyone else’s responses to those messages on their group chat. Han Seojun had also responded with a laughing emoji. Which meant he wasn’t too body or occupied to text Sujin.

Then why wasn’t he texting her?

Why do I care?

Sujin knew why. It was because she had no body else to talk to about what was bothering her. Normally, she would have called Jukyung but this time, she couldn’t. Jukyung’s giant engagement ring kept flashing in her mind over and over. It even plagued her dreams last night.

Sujin needed to occupy herself. Her current jobless situation wasn’t helping things either. She quickly fired a text to Suah to see if she was free to hang.

Sorry Kang Su! Me and Taehoon are going to visit his parents. Suah had replied.

Sujin looked at her list of contacts. There was no one else but Han Seojun who she could ask. Reluctantly, she texted him.

I’m going to the batting cages. Wanna join me?

Sujin pressed send before she could stop herself and was immediately filled with deep regret she saw the “Seen” check appear.

One minute, two minute, fifteen minutes passed. He didn’t reply.

“Guess he wasn’t interested.” Sujin lamented. It would have been nice to have someone to hang with, but given the obvious rejection, she had to make do with just lonesome herself.

Kang Sujin wasn’t exactly a prodigy at sports, but she was considerably better than most. Batting happened to be one of her strong suits.

Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

She hit each ball with graceful ease. Her brows were furrowed in focus. Her breathing controlled and steady. Sujin had learned long ago that sports aided in dealing with her rage and frustrations. It was a way to release all of her worries in a healthy manner and channel inner peace.

Thwack! Thwack!

She hit again and again, not caring about the score, just wanting to get the shot.

“Wow, I’m impressed.”

“Huh?” Sujin carelessly turned and her surprise at finding Han Seojun standing in the adjacent batting area was only thwarted by the ball hitting her in the torso. She yelped in pain.

“Oh, gwenchana?” Seojun asked in concern.

“Aish.” Sujin held her side and moved out of the way of the pitching machine. She gave Seojun a scathing look. “What are you doing here?”

“You asked to meet here didn’t you?”

“People normally respond to invitations to confirm they’re coming.” Sujin checked herself for injuries before resuming her batting position.

Seojun was quiet. “I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to meet you.”

Thwack! Sujin hit a ball. “Oh, yeah? What made you change your mind?”

Seojun picked up his bat, not responding. The pitching machine on his lane whirred to life. He hit his ball. Thwack! “Did you see the video Jukyung posted?”

“Ah-nee.” Sujin replied. Thwack!

“She posted a bridal makeup tutorial.”

Sujin missed the next ball. And the one after that. Seojun could feel her gaze on his back but didn’t dare turn. From his posture Sujin could sense hostility. Which was fine, she hadn’t invited him here to talk. She invited him here to vent. She resumed her batting.

“I scored higher than you.” Sujin informed with a grin once they were done.

“Good for you.” Han Seojun said, unimpressed.

He still seemed on edge. Sujin had tried to engage him during their small breaks between the game but all he had given her were clipped answers.

“Did you watch the entire video?”

“Yes.”

“How did it feel?”

“How do you think I felt?”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Just hit the ball.”

Sujin didn’t know how Seojun was when they had parted, but she herself felt significantly better. She went home with a peaceful mind and even discovered that she had gotten a call from a prospective employer. They asked if she could come in for an interview the following week. Perhaps things would be getting better from now on.

Or perhaps not.

The interview had gone horribly wrong, especially after the interviewer realized who she was. Sujin had expected a polite rejection but instead the interviewer had decided that she deserved a lecture on bullying from him.

“You know. I was bullied too as a kid.” The interviewer had said.

The experience had left her shaken. Was this going to be her life from now on? Would she just be kicked out of society just like that, over a badly reported gossip article?

Sujin’s hands ached to be washed but she refused to even think about it. She needed an outlet and she knew exactly what she wanted. It was then that she got a text from Han Seojun.

Let’s meet.

Sujin told him where to show up.

“You know jujitsu?” Seojun was surprised when she had invited him for a match.

“Don’t you?” Sujin said, clad in her white Gi. She had been warming up when Seojun had arrived clad in jeans and a hoodie. He had a cap on underneath the hood.

“I don’t fight with girls.”

“And what if a girl fights with you?”

Seojun chuckled incredulously.

“If you can laugh like that then you can show me what you’ve got, no? Or are you afraid you’ll lose like you lost in the batting cages.”

“That wasn’t a competition.”

Sujin smirked, “Sure it wasn’t.”

Seojun rolled his eyes and went to change out of his clothes.

Smack! Down Han Seojun went. He had gone easy on Kang Sujin for the first round because she was a girl. But she had immediately disarmed him and thrown him over her shoulder. Grinning like a wolf, she immediately took the fighting position again, leaving Han Seojun to recover on the floor.

“First one doesn’t count!” He argued.

“What’s wrong, Han Seojun? Can’t even fight against a girl?”

Seojun got up, “Alright. I won’t be going easy on you anymore.”

“Fine by me.”

Sujin attacked first, Seojun quickly blocked her, wrapped his arms around her waist and tried to push her down. She wrapped her legs around him and swiveled him around so that he fell. Then she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling at his arm.

“You fight without strategy.” Sujin said through clenched teeth as she tried to keep him down. Seojun managed to turn her entire body over, releasing himself.

“Fighting is about instinct. Not strategies.” Seojun went for the attack this time. Sujin blocked him but he easily maneuvered around her, throwing her down and pinning her in place with all his strength. It was an awkward position to be in, but he didn’t care. He would not let her win.

“Anything without a strategy is doomed to fail.” She grabbed his collar and adjusted her leg to flip them over. Now she was keeping him down.

“Nope. Instincts always win.” He weaseled out of her grip and they parted.

Sujin took fighting position again. She easily jabbed and smacked him around while Seojun blocked haphazardly. She was precise and focused, knowing exactly where to hit and how.

In her mind, she wasn’t fighting with Han Seojun. She was fighting with her interviewer. She jabbed and blocked and kicked the man who had sat and judged her without even hearing her side of the story. It was cathartic to let this all out. And if Han Seojun got hurt in the way, then she didn’t mind.

Sujin and Seojun fought for a long time, both sweating and panting with exhaustion but neither relenting.

“I’m still winning Han Seojun.” Sujin said with labored breath.

“We’re not done yet.”

Smack! Down Han Seojun went. Again, and again, and again.

“Had enough?” Sujin asked as they parted.

“Never.”

Seojun attacked. Sujin easily blocked it, kicking him in the chest. The mat was slick with their sweat. Sujin didn’t see Seojun slip and fall to his knees. She only spun around to deliver a roundhouse kick to his torso. But the kick would have hit him in the face. Except, except Han Seojun caught her ankle just in time. The force of it nearly knocked him down.

“I can’t let you hit my face.” He said with a half smirk.

“Wae?” She asked with a flick of her brow.

“It’s a precious commodity.”

He pulled Sujin by her ankle, bringing her leg to his side. She fell on him, using his shoulders to brace herself. Their noses were almost touching. He cupped her calf and grabbed her sleeve to hold her in place.

It was too close. Sujin’s mind went blank. And that was the opening Seojun needed to throw her down.

“I won that round.” He grinned, standing up.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m still ahead.” Sujin’s face still felt hot. She got up and straightened her Gi. “I think that’s enough for today.”

Seojun nodded. “You hungry?” He asked. After the workout she had just had, she was ravenous.

They went to a nearby convenience store where they got ramen. Seojun watched in surprise as Sujin hungrily chowed down.

“What?” Sujin asked.

“You are a very unexpected girl, Kang Sujin.” Seojun took off his cap and ran his hand through his hair.

Sujin smiled and stirred her ramen. “So, what happened this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why’d you ask to see me today? Did Jukyung post another video?”

Seojun hesitated. “Last time… I was in a bad mood. But you seemed like you wanted to talk.”

Sujin gave a slow smile. “What? You felt guilty?”

“Yes.” Seojun said unabashedly.

“You know we don’t have to talk. Maybe we can just keep each other company.”

“Sure. That seems fine.” Seojun looked at her critically. “But something was bothering you today.”

Sujin bit her cheek. “I had an interview today.”

“Didn’t go well.” It wasn’t a question.

Sujin told him, about how her interviewer treated her. About how she feared she may never get a job again.

“Ah-nee, how can people be so ridiculous? You already settled the matter didn’t you? Then what’s everybody’s problem?” Seojun’s outburst warmed Sujin’s heart. It felt good to talk and share. It made Sujin feel lighter. She wondered if she could return the favor.

“You didn’t tell me what you thought of Jukyung’s video.”

Seojun’s face fell. “Ah. That.” He leaned back and sighed. “Did you see it?”

“Yeah.”

Seojun’s face was a strange combination of pain and admiration. “She looked beautiful, didn’t she?”

Sujin’s voice was small. “Yeah, she did.” And Suho probably thought so too.

“They’ve been together for so long. Marriage was inevitable. But now that it’s happening… I don’t know. I just feel… honestly I don’t even know what I feel anymore.”

“I know what you mean. I can’t imagine how I’m going to attend the wedding.”

“My mom’s inviting the two over for dinner to celebrate. Imagine having to sit through that.”

“Yikes. Does your mom know how you feel?”

“Of course, she does. But Lee Suho is my best friend and she’s happy for him.”

“Well… I’m always here,” Sujin held up her phone, “just a text away. If you need me.”

“What I need right now is more food.” Seojun got up.

“Aren’t idols supposed to diet?”

“Not when they’ve had their ass kicked twelve times. You want anything?”

“Nah. I’m full.”

While Han Seojun went inside, Sujin checked her phone for any messages and emails. She had applied to a dozen non-profit companies. None of them, except the interview today, had gotten back.

“Omo. Isn’t that, that girl?” Someone said loudly.

“Yah! Shhh!”

Sujin looked up to some mean looking high schoolers gawking at her. There were three of them but the one standing in the front was clearly the leader. The girls to her side was trying to keep her quiet but unsuccessfully.

“It is! Look. Its that woman, Kang Sujin! Wah! I never thought I’d meet someone I read about online in real life.” The leader girl came forward, crossing her arms.

Sujin stood up to her full height. The girl was shorter than her, but she was undeterred. Sujin half admired her courage.

“Can I help you?” Sujin asked in a measured tone.

The leader girl stared Sujin down. “Check out her audacity. Should someone who’s hated by everyone be talking like that?” The girl spoke in banmal.

“I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. So why don’t you leave?” Sujin suggested. These kids were younger than her, although by not much. They looked like seniors who might have been held back a year or two.

“Why should I leave? You leave.”

“I was here first.”

“This is my usual place. My boyfriend’s coming here to meet me.” The girl said self-assuredly.

“Then let him come. There’s enough space for the both of us.”

“I don’t think so.” The girl got right in her face. “You’re the girl who seduced our Seojun Oppa, aren’t you? Don’t you know that you almost ruined his career by doing that?”

Sujin laughed at the thought of Han Seojun being someone’s Oppa. He always seemed so childish to her.

“Oh, you think its funny to ruin someone’s career?”

Sujin tried to explain calmly, “No, no. I wasn’t—"

The girl pushed her, “Women like you are everything that’s wrong with the world!”

The old Kang Sujin would have kicked this rude girl’s ass by this point. But Sujin was trying to be a new Kang Sujin, one that didn’t hate easily. Sujin sighed. “Kid, just leave me alone.”

The girl poked her finger in Sujin’s shoulder. “And what if I don’t?”

Sujin raised a hand and the girl flinched. But Sujin only stroked her head. “Youngster, you shouldn’t be so rude to people.”

“Like you were to Lim Jukyung?” Sujin’s face hardened as the girl taunted, “What? You guys are friends now? Who would buy that bullshit? People are you are such trash. You go around flaunting your beauty, seducing our idols. Trash like you doesn’t belong here.”

“Yah, stop it!” The girl’s friends warned from behind.

“Chaeri, you’ll get into trouble.”

Chaeri didn’t listen. “Leave! I don’t want people like you here.” She told Sujin.

It was one thing to be nice. It was quite another to be weak. And Kang Sujin was anything but weak. “You want me to leave?” Sujin said. “Then make me.” Sujin stood her ground, glaring at the girl.

Chaeri smiled. “Okay.” She reached over to the half finished can of soda that Han Seojun had left on the table and poured it over Sujin.

Sujin closed her eyes to calm herself. Don’t engage Kang Sujin.

“Here you go, b****.”

Alright, screw it.

Sujin’s eyes popped open enraged. “What did you just call me? B****?” She grabbed Chaeri’s hair and pulled.

Chaeri screamed, “Yah! What are you doing?”

“I was going easy on you since you’re a teenager. But now I see you need to be taught a lesson.” Sujin kept her grip firmly on the Chaeri hair as the girl struggled to break free. “Listen carefully. Just because someone has allegedly done something wrong doesn’t mean you get to take justice in your hands. If you see something wrong, you speak up about it. If it’s happening in front of you, you stop it. But you don’t go around harassing someone without even understanding the full story, arachi? If I’m a bully, then go tell the police and have them investigate. Calling me names and bothering me only makes you another bully, not an avenger.”

Sujin let go. Chaeri ran and cowered by her friends who looked at Sujin in fear.

“Now get out of my sight. And don’t let me see you girls again.”

The girls ran away as Sujin watched. She didn’t enjoy what had just happened. It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Was I too harsh?

“Remind me never to piss you off again.” Han Seojun came to stand by her.

“Mwo-ya, were you watching? How long were you here.”

“I came out when I saw you grabbing that girl’s hair.”

Sujin frowned in worry. “I wasn’t—”

“I know.” Seojun came forward, eyeing her head. “I heard the speech. Did they do this?” He pointed to her wet hair.

“Ugh. Yeah.” Sujin groaned.

“Let’s go inside. You can clean up.”

Sujin used the convenience store bathroom to wash out the soda from her hair. She dried off with some paper towels but her head looked like a mess when she was done. She tried to smoothen it down but then it stuck to her face weirdly.

In the store, Han Seojun was signing an autograph for the store clerk. “Ya, gimme that.” Sujin came up behind him and took his cap off from him, putting it on herself. Han Seojun didn’t bat an eye lash.

“Here you go.” He told the clerk.

“Thank you. My girlfriend will really appreciate it.” The clerk beamed.

The convenience store entrance rang as they exited.

“You can keep that cap.” Seojun told Sujin.

“Ah really?”

“Yah! Are you the one who harassed my girlfriend?”

Seojun and Sujin turned. The high schooler, Chaeri, was standing there with four hulking boys, all looking like miscreants with their mean faces and unkempt clothing. They seemed older than high school kids, more like college students. The girl’s friends were notably missing. It was just her and the four thugs.

“Han Seojun,” Sujin whispered, “you leave.”

“No.” He said casually, yet firmly.

“You could get into another scandal, you idiot!” Sujin hissed.

“No.”

Sujin clenched her jaw. “Listen to me, you dolt. You’ll—”

“Omo! Is that Han Seojun?” Chaeri was staring, eyes wide in wonder. “It is! Oh my God, Oppa! Is that you? Why are you here?” Chaeri’s eyes passed between Seojun and Sujin. “Oppa, are you actually dating this girl?” She asked, sounding betrayed.

“You know this guy?” Chaeri’s boyfriend asked.

“He’s Han Seojun. He’s an idol.”

“He’s not with me.” Sujin declared as she walked up to the group, putting distance between her and Seojun. “We just coincidentally met inside.” She stood resolutely with her shoulders squared, not showing an ounce of fear.

Seojun walked up and stood Sujin. “I am with her. So what? You got a problem?” He asked Chaeri.

Sujin’s face contorted in exasperation. Han Seojun, you idiot!

The boyfriend looked amused at the situation. “Aaah. I see now. You think that just because your boyfriend is a big shot idol that you can do whatever you want?”

“That’s not what happened. Your girlfriend here harassed me first.” Sujin explained coolly.

“Oppa, she’s lying.” The girl said. “I was just walking by and she started pulling my hair.”

Sujin scoffed. “What an obvious lie. You gonna believe that?”

“I don’t see why I have to believe you.” The boyfriend replied.

“Why would I attack her without any reason?”

“Oppa, she did it because I was a fan of Han Seojun.” Chaeri looked at Seojun, “Aren’t you going to defend your fans?”

Seojun tilted his head. “My fans don’t go around harassing my friends.”

Chaeri’s mouth fell open. “What?”

“Also, no real fan would damage their idol’s reputation but causing a scene like this. Don’t you know it reflects badly on me when say I have toxic fans?”

Chaeri’s face contorted in anger. Sujin gulped, “Han Seojun, shut up.”

“Oppa, you’re going to just let these people treat me this way?” Chaeri pulled at her boyfriend’s arm.

The boyfriend leaned down to Sujin, “Listen here ahjumma, you hurt my girlfriend. That action is going to come with consequences.”

Seojun grabbed the boy’s collar, pushing him away from Sujin. “You can’t call yourself a man if you threaten women like this.”

The boyfriend laughed, before he went in for the punch. Seojun dodged it and kicked the guy in the chest, sending him backwards. Chaeri squealed and jumped to the side. The other three thugs went for Seojun and Sujin.

Sujin brought one of them down with a spin kick in the face. The other two boys were on Seojun. Sujin kicked one of them away and dragged him further by his hair.

It was difficult for Sujin and Seojun to keep up. The thugs, while young, were still huge and more in number. Sujin took her time to size up her opponents, hitting and dodging accordingly. Seojun fought in his typical instinctive manner, taking many hits but also delivering his own.

One of the boys had Seojun backed up in the corner and by this time the boyfriend had gotten back up. Seojun didn’t see the boyfriend, but Sujin did. The boyfriend picked up a stick lying on the corner of the street by the garbage cans. Two thugs were on Seojun now, holding him back as the boyfriend raised the stick, aiming to swing it right in Seojun’s face.

In that moment, Sujin forgot all about fighting with strategy. All she could think of was saving Han Seojun. She ran into the boyfriend, taking him down with her entire body. She kicked him in the groin, causing so much pain that the boy’s face became red. Han Seojun, and the two thugs holding him back, were staring at her speechless.

“I won’t let you hit his face.” She told the boyfriend. Then, giving Seojun a sideways look she added, “It’s a hot commodity.”

Seojun took this opening to break free and kick the thugs away. Sujin swung the stick and hit one of them in the back. The last one standing decided to be smart and ran away.

Seojun and Sujin looked at each other, and the high schoolers lying on the ground, moaning in pain. They had won and it felt good. Seojun looked at something behind Sujin. She followed his line of sight and found Chaeri standing by the corner, recording everything on her phone.

Sujin walked up to her. “Give it while I’m being nice.”

“I’m recording this too you know.” Chaeri said insolently.

Sujin smiled. Then spun around to kick Chaeri, except she missed her face by an inch.

“Ah, how sad. I missed.”

Chaeri just stood, frozen in place. Seojun walked up, pulled the phone from her hand and smashed it to the ground.

“Am I going to hear about this online?” It was a rhetorical question. Said with such authority, in that deep angry baritone, that even Sujin felt intimidated.

Chaeri just shook her head.

“Good. Lets go, Kang Sujin.” Seojun led Sujin away by her arm.

“So, like I said. Remind me never to piss you off again.” Seojun repeated. Sujin chuckled. “Also…” Seojun rubbed the back of his head, “Thanks… for saving me back there.”

“Don’t mention it. After all, we have to protect his hot commodity.” Sujin teased. Instead of getting annoyed like she expected him to, Han Seojun smirked.

“You know I never said my face was a hot commodity. I only said it was a precious commodity.” Sujin stopped in her tracks as she realized he was right. But Seojun kept on walking smugly. “I guess you think I’m hot.” He called back to her.

“No way!” Sujin yelled as she ran after him. “No way!” ii.

Things had changed between Kang Sujin and Han Seojun. They were way past enmity now. In fact, Seojun couldn’t even remember the hate he used to have for her. They were also past the courteous co-existence they had sustained for a brief period where they acted polite and nice to one another which was more a sign of them being strangers than anything else.

Now Han Seojun and Kang Sujin really could say that they were friends. Hanging out together had become a weekly ritual. Almost always, it was prompted by something Jukyung or Suho did.

The night of Suho’s and Jukyung’s the engagement party, hosted by Suho’s father, they went to karaoke to sing their hearts out. As expected, Seojun was the better singer. But Sujin wasn’t exactly bad herself. Her song choices were about self-empowerment and having fun. Seojun chose soft, ballads that were clearly about Jukyung.

“One day, my songs will be on a karaoke machine too.” Seojun had wished as they had walked back home.

“And then I will sing it.” Sujin encouraged.

“And ruin it.”

Sujin punched him in the shoulder.

The time Suho and Jukyung announced their wedding on Jukyung’s channel, they went to an arcade. Of course, Sujin beat Seojun at every game.

“Ah-nee, how do you know how to play? All I ever saw you doing in school was study.”

“Just accept it, Han Seojun. I’m better than you.”

“At bragging maybe.”

The time Jukyung got drunk and went around hugging Han Seojun thinking he was Suho, they went for a drive on his bike.

Sujin had insisted that he teach her how to ride it.

“Aren’t you afraid?” Seojun remebered how terrified Jukyung had been when she first rode with him.

“Why would I be?” Sujin asked, confused.

She took to the bike quickly and soon was riding them both around the city without Seojun’s guidance.

“Not too bad, Kang Sujin.” Seojun was impressed. Sujin grinned triumphantly.

As per their agreement, the two looked out for each other when they were with the group, making sure their feelings weren’t too apparent. At the night of the engagement party, Sujin kept covering for Seojun when he didn’t participate in conversations as much as he usually did. She would answer for him or change the subject. On the same night, Seojun had been the one to sneak Sujin away when she was on the verge of breaking into tears when the couple was cutting the cake. No one had noticed the two heart broken friends that night. All eyes had been on Jukyung and Suho.

On the same night that Jukyung had gotten drunk, Han Seojun had been the one to distract Suah when she kept pushing Jukyung into dating a guy she knew from work. And on a separate occasion, when the group was out for dinner and had run into Suho’s father, Seojun had kept a firm hand on Sujin’s back when Lee Joheon spoke at length on how sad he was about her parents’ divorce.

As uncanny as it seemed, it was undeniable. Han Seojun and Kang Sujin were friends now. Oddly enough, no one seemed to have picked up on their closeness, despite the fact that they never hid it from anyone. Sujin mentioned that Seojun had taught her how to ride his bike but the statement went unnoticed for its inclusion of Han Seojun. All Suah and Jukyung cared about was how dangerous it was to drive bikes.

“Han Seojun! Stop being a bad influence on Sujin!” Jukyung had scolded.

“What did I do? She’s the one who wanted to learn. And she’s not so innocent either. Just ask her about how she beat me in jiujitsu.” Seojun had pointed a finger at her.

“You know Jiujitsu?” Suho had asked, ignoring the part about her beating Seojun.

“Yeah. We should spar sometime.”

And so things went on and Jukyung’s and Suho’s wedding date inched closer and closer. But Sujin felt nothing had really improved with her feelings about Suho.

“We should really get to the therapy part one of these days.” Sujin casually said over a cup of coffee. This time, they had opted for a quiet meeting in a café.

Seojun considered her request. “What should we talk about?”

They both drew a blank, neither able to come up with a good starting point. Their feelings were so complicated and tangled that neither knew were to start unraveling.

Sujin raised a hand, fingers spread out wide. “Five questions.” She said, and with each word she lowered a finger, “Who, What, When, Where and Why.” She said in English.

“What’s that?”

“Its how you gather basic information. You ask yourself these questions.” Sujin explained, translating in Korean, “Who is it? What is it? When was it? and Why was it?”

Seojun nodded. “Okay. You first.”

“Hmm… We can skip the Who since we already know who it is. So, what is it that I like about Lee Suho? Hmm…” Sujin had to think for a minute.

The first thing that popped into her mind was her father. She and Suho both had troubled relationships with their fathers and at the time, Sujin had felt that Suho could understand her better because because of this. But she couldn’t tell Han Seojun that. Having a dysfunctional family made her feel like a freak. She didn’t need Han Seojun knowing about her private problems, even if they were friends.

So instead of the truth, she said, “He was cool,”

Seojun scoffed. “Kang Sujin were you that shallow?”

Sujin looked at him flatly. “It wasn’t just that! It was… well, he was always cold to everyone else. But he still treated me better.” Sujin looked at her hands, nervously playing with her thumbs. “I guess I liked how he was with me. And I liked that he wasn’t shallow like most boys are. ”

That answer seemed more acceptable to Seojun. “I don’t think I can distill my feelings to just a couple of traits. I like everything about Lim Jukyung. The way she smiles, the way she ties up her hair, how kind and caring she is with everyone… she just has this warmth about her that just… draws you in.”

“I know what you mean.” Sujin agreed. But there was a little part of her that resented Seojun’s compliments of Jukyung. Wasn’t she kind and caring too? Didn’t she have any warmth?

Probably not. Her father’s voice said. Sujin pushed it away.

“When did you first start liking Lee Suho?” Seojun asked.

Sujin thought for a minute. “I don’t know. I just know that when I noticed I liked him, it felt like I had always liked him.” She sat up straight. “What about you? When did you start liking Jukyung?”

After a pause he replied, “When I started to get to know her. I can’t say exactly when… But I noticed my heart would act weird after she started teasing me about my underwear--”

“Say what now? What underwear?” Sujin perked up. It was at this moment that Han Seojun knew, that he had messed up. He could feel himself get red in the face.

“It was nothing. What I meant was—”

“Nononono, no. Han Seojun, you’re not getting out of this one. Tell me. What underwear?”

Seojun crossed his arms, “I’m not saying a word.”

Their therapy session had ended there. Sujin tried again and again to get Seojun to reveal what the underwear incident was but he kept his silence. He would die before he ever told anyone about how Jukyung had seen him dancing around in his cheetah print underwear.

Han Seojun still experienced PTSD when he heard “Okey Dokey yo!” from anywhere.

iii.

Seojun didn’t know how the fight began. They had met up for dinner after Sujin got off from work. She had taken up various part time jobs to pay the bills. With her being busy throughout the day, dinner was the only time they could meet.

They had been talking about Suho and Jukyung. Seojun normally danced around the topic of what Sujin had done back in high school now that they were friends. But this time she had brought it up herself.

“Do you remember that picture I took of you?”

“Yeah.” Seojun still remembered how flatly she had said You look cool. He had almost admired her audacity back then, and he did so more now.

“I traded it to get the info on Jukyung.” She admitted quietly.

“Ah, even back then my face was such a hot commodity.” Seojun said smugly.

Sujin made a face at him.

They joked about the past, about how Han Seojun hadn’t changed since then, about how Sujin had changed so much. Then, as they walked towards Sujin’s apartment, they got into the serious stuff. About how Sujin just disappeared after the truth about her was revealed, about how Seojun was right that she had only destroyed herself, and no one else.

“I wish I hadn’t done all that. Looking back, I want to kick myself.” Sujin had said.

“You should have shared, about what you were going through. Suah and Jukyung would have understood. I mean, having your father treat you the way he did… it must have made everything harder to deal with. Looking back, I might have acted better too, even helped y--”

Seojun suddenly noticed that Sujin wasn’t with him. She had stopped in her tracks and was glaring at him but Seojun couldn’t understand why.

“W-what do you mean my father’s treatment?” Sujin asked icily, her face was unreadable.

“Well… didn’t he used to beat you and pressure you for—”

“Shut up! Just shut up, Han Seojun!” Sujin suddenly freaked out. And it scared Seojun.

“What’s wrong?” He asked with concern. He moved towards her, but she moved back.

She looked at him coldly. “Who the hell told you about this? Was it Suho? It was Suho, wasn’t it? No one else knows besides him.”

Seojun hesitated. “Actually... that time when I met your mom—”

Sujin blinked rapidly. “So you’re saying that you’ve known about this all this time?”

“Kang Sujin, calm down its not a—”

Sujin spoke through clenched teeth, “What’s not a big deal? The fact that my family is broken or the fact that my father was an abusive asshole? What exactly about it is not a big deal, Han Seojun?”

Seojun was thoroughly confused now. “Sujin-ah.” he called out to her but she kept moving back with every step he took towards her. She was shaking quite visibly.

“Did you have fun, thinking I was so tragic and damaged? Did you have fun pitying me all this time? Did you—” Sujin’s eyes went wide as if she hit a realization. “Ya Han Seojun… did you become friends with me because you pitied me?” She said the word with such acidity that Seojun flinched.

It would be a lie to say it hadn’t influenced his opinion of her. But it wasn’t the only reason they were friends. Surely Sujin had to understand that.

“Sujin-ah—”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Sujin’s lip quivered. “All this time, you’ve only treated me decently because you thought I was some tragic case—”

“You know that’s not true.” Seojun protested but Sujin wasn’t listening.

“—and here I was thinking we were actually friends. Han Seojun, would you have even been nice to me if you hadn’t known?”

“Does that matter?” Seojun asked, frustrated, “We’re friends now, aren’t we?”

That had been the wrong thing to say. Sujin’s eyes flamed as she suddenly switched. Gone was the shaking and the freaked out look. Sujin was now very calm and cold; calculating in her movements. She gave a sarcastic smile. “Ya Han Seojun. Do you know? I pity you too.”

“What?”

“Pathetically liking someone for so long, whining like a boy over everything, acting all childish, you think that makes you attractive?”

“Ya, Kang Sujin—” Seojun warned.

“I bet Jukyung pities you too.” Sujin stalked up to Seojun. “Ah, that loser, Han Seojun, until when is he going to be hung up on me? I bet that’s what she thinks every time she sees you.”

They glared at each other for the longest time. Maybe too long.

“Kang Sujin… you are seriously messed up.” Was all Seojun said before he walked away; from Sujin and the entire situation. Sujin’s eyes filled with tears which she furiously blinked away.

If Sujin had been more like Jukyung, she would have dealt with this situation maturely. Lim Kukyung would have faced her emotions and not taken Seojun’s sympathy as pity. Lim Jukyung would have been up front about how she felt and not pushed Seojun away. Lim Jukyung would have been better.

But Kang Sujin was not Lim Jukyung. Kang Sujin was a messed up girl.

iv.

“Has anyone heard from Sujin recently?” Jukyung asked the group. They were all gathered for lunch, all except Seojun and Sujin, both of whom had been absent these past couple of get-togethers.

“Wae? Has something happened?” Suah asked.

“Not really. But she hasn’t been replying as much to my texts.” Jukyung pouted.

“You know what Kang Su is like. She’s rarely online. Plus, she’s working all these jobs now.”

“She always replies to me though,” Jukyung muttered to herself as she looked at her chat with Sujin. The one Sujin hadn’t responded to since four days.

“Is Seojun not coming today either?” Taehoon asked Suho.

“Don’t know. He’s so busy with brand practice these days that he barely replies to me.”

“Guys! Sorry I’m late!” Sujin rushed towards the group.

“Kang Su!” Jukyung and Suah welcomed her.

“We were afraid you wouldn’t show up again.” Jukyung said, putting her arm through Sujin’s.

“Kang Su-ya,” Suah said, playfully nudging Sujin’s shoulder, “you’re all dressed up. Did you just come back from a date?” Indeed Sujin was wearing a sleek black pant suit with full makeup on.

“Who went on a date?” Seojun arrived but stopped when he saw Sujin. Sujin held her breath as she waited for him to say something.

“Our Kang Su.” Suah responded. Seojun just flicked a brow but betrayed no emotion. He took a seat besides Suho.

“Ya! It wasn’t a date. I just came back from an interview.” She grinned.

“Ooh! How did it go?”

Sujin kept her silence for a second before she finally burst with excitement, “I got it!” The girls squealed at the good news. “Its at this non-profit that works with providing clean water to under-developed countries.” She showed everyone the website for the company and the work that they did on her phone.

Everyone congratulated Sujin on her accomplishment. Even Seojun gave her a “Congratulations.” To which she thanked him.

“I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t think you’d come.” Suho told Seojun.

He wasn’t going to. But he had heard that Sujin hadn’t been present either and he had figured it would be okay for him to join everyone if she wasn’t there.

She should have been an actress, Seojun thought as he watched Sujin behave like nothing was wrong.

The conversation over lunch flowed easily as it usually did. Everyone laughed, joked and shared about what had happened since they last met. No one seemed to notice that Seojun and Sujin were not speaking directly to each other, even once. They only spoke to everyone else.

It was only when Seojun was leaving the men’s room that he found Sujin waiting for him and jumped in surprise.

“Ah, ggam-jjak-ee-ya!” Seojun held his chest in shock.

“Aww, the great Han Seojun get’s scared?”

“Only when confronted by pervert girls who stalk boys outside the washrooms.”

Sujin narrowed her eyes. “Shut up! I wasn’t stalking. I was only waiting to talk to you.”

“That’s equally worrying. What do you want?” He said dismissively.

Sujin handed him a keychain. It was his own face made in cartoon form. “Here. I know how much you love seeing yourself.”

“What’s this for?”

Sujin cleared her throat. “An apology. Mianhae, Han Seojun. Last time—”

“I don’t want to hear it.” He handed the keychain back to Sujin. She grabbed his arm as he tried to leave.

“At least hear me out.”

“No.” Seojun pushed her arm away.

Sujin’s lips tightened. She grabbed Seojun’s arm again, pulling him with brute strength. “Will you just listen to me you big baby! I’m trying to apologize.” She glared at him.

“Why? I thought you hated me.”

Sujin’s face softened. “I don’t hate you, Han Seojun.” She let go of his arm. “That time… when you started talking about my father, I just lost it. I haven’t actually told anybody about what he did to me. Not even Suah and Jukyung know. All they know is that he was tough on me.”

“Lee Suho knows.” Seojun accused.

“He figured it out on his own. I never actually told him. How could I?” Sujin felt ridiculous admitting it out loud, “How could I tell him that I don’t know what a happy family looks like? I see Jukyung with her dad and Suah with hers and how they have such good relationships, and I can’t imagine being the same way with my father. And that makes me feel like a freak. People already give me weird looks because of my parents’ divorce. If they knew about my father, they’d think that I was crazy… and maybe I am, who knows.”

Seojun softened. “You’re not crazy, Sujin-ah.”

There it was, that pity on Han Seojun’s face. Sujin hated it but she had come today to this lunch only to apologize to him and that is what she was going to do.

“I am, Han Seojun. Why else would I have said all of those mean things?” Sujin’s voice shook. Seojun moved to hug her but she stepped away. Him comforting her would be too much, she would fall to pieces if he did. She had to hold herself together, on her own. “I’m sorry Han Seojun. I didn’t mean any of it. Not a single word.”

Seojun nodded. “I know.” He felt like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders and only then did he notice how bothered he really had been about their fight.

“You guys not coming?” Suho asked as he passed by. Seojun and Sujin straightened themselves up and joined the others.

They found the girls giggling at something on Jukyung’s phone.

“What’s funny?”

“Ya Kang Sujin, your nose looks so big in this!” Suah commented. Jukyung turned the phone to Sujin. It was the video of the live event they had done.

“Aish!” Sujin said disapprovingly. “I look so weird in this video.”

Suho and Taehoon leaned over and laughed too as Sujin robotically read off the comments in the video.

“Maybe we can go Seojun’s makeup next.” Jukyung suggested.

“I’m a celebrity, Lim Jukyung.” He said haughtily, pulling the lapels of his jacket, “You can’t just have me on any show.”

Sujin wrinkled her nose at Seojun, “This coming from a guy who didn’t even know the difference between ppt and fitting.”

“That never happened!” Seojun contested. Everyone else laughed.

“Sujin-ah. Maybe I can have you on as a guest next time.” Jukyung suggested.

“Sure.” Sujin put her arm around Jukyung and whispered audibly, “And let’s do it when Suho isn’t around.” The girls winked to each other.

Suho smacked Sujin’s hand away from Jukyung’s shoulder. “Keep your hands off my girlfriend.”

“Sure. But I can’t guarantee she’ll keep her hands off me.” Sujin grinned evilly. Suho’s wide eyed, worried, expression made Jukyung laugh.

Han Seojun fell on his face for the umpteenth time as he tried to hit the ball that Sujin had served. He was lucky they were all on the beach and his face was hitting soft sand instead of concrete.

“Ya, who’s idea was it to play volleyball?” Seojun asked as he brushed himself off.

“Quit being a sore loser, Han Seo!” Sujin called from the girl’s side of the net.

“Just you watch. I will make you eat your words!”

Of course, the boys lost. Suho was too distracted by Jukyung. Taehoon played bad on purpose because Suah said she wanted to win. Chorong was a bad at playing in general. The only two people taking this seriously were Han Seojun and Kang Sujin who ran around covering up for their team mates, as if their lives depended on winning. Sujin in particular refused to let Seojun get a single goal.

“You must really hate Han Seojun, huh?” Suah asked once the game was over.

“No. I just don’t like to lose.”

“Look at her, it’s like she’s going to war.” Jukyung laughed at the fire in Sujin’s eyes.

“Did you piss Kang Sujin off?” Taehoon was asking Seojun on the other side as the boys drank water.

“Nah, she’s just like that in general.” Seojun panted, still exhausted from the game.

A crowd of girls had gathered around their little game, drawn towards Suho and Seojun playing. They had cheered the boys on during the game and now they gravitated towards the two, hoping to get a chance to talk to them.

Suho had brushed them off in his usual rude manner. Seojun had been obliging, especially when they recognized who he was. He patiently signed autographs but couldn’t take pictures since his company didn’t allow them.

“Han Seojun, we have to get back.” Suah had come over to inform him.

“Yeah, just one minute.” The fans kept coming and coming. Seojun realized that maybe he should tell them he has to go. But as much as he wanted, he couldn’t say no to the hopeful girls who had liked the music that he made and had decided his signature was worth something.

“Han Seojun hurry up! We have to move!” Jukyung called.

“Just a second!”

Suho came over and rudely pushed through the crowd of girls. “Yah! Don’t be like that to my fans.” He tried dragging Seojun away but Seojun dodged him and the girls quickly pushed him back.

“Yah! Haven’t you girls had enough?!” Sujin’s voice boomed over the crowd, terrifying everyone. “And you girls over there!” Sujin pointed, “I saw you two return twice! You’re planning on selling those autographs, aren’t you?”

“Ya Kang Sujin—” Seojun began to protest.

“Don’t piss me off.” Sujin warned, “Our trip isn’t a place for you to have fan meetings.” She grabbed Seojun’s wrist and dragged him away before he could object.

The fangirls whispered to each other angrily, but none dared stand in Sujin’s way as she took Seojun away from them.

“Mwo-ya.”

“Who is that girl?”

“What the hell?”

“Come on, I’m hungry. We should get back to the resort.” Suho said when Seojun had joined them. He and Taehoon picked up their things and loaded them in their car.

At a distance, near a food cart, stood Kim Chorong. He watched as everyone got ready to leave. He could see Suah and Jukyung clinging to their boyfriends, his own posse goofing around and Han Seojun laughing and joking with his arm around Suho.

“Did you see how all those girls swarmed around me?” Seojun asked Jukyung. “Ya, aren’t you lucky to have a guy like me as your friend?”

“What lucky? You wasted all our time!” Jukyung scolded.

“Ah, I just can’t turn off my charms.”

Sujin scoffed, pulling a disgusted face, “Where? Where are these charms?” She put her hand over her eyes and mimicked searching.

“Right here!” Seojun replied, puffing his chest. “See how charming I am!”

“As charming as a sea louse maybe.”

“Yah!” The group laughed as Seojun pointed accusingly at Sujin.

Chorong had watched as Seojun pointed at Sujin in a huff while everyone laughed. It was the liveliest that Chorong had ever seen Han Seojun be.

“Chagi, what are you doing here all alone?” Chorong’s girlfriend came up to him.

“Geunyang.” Chorong put his arm around his girlfriend and walked towards the group.

They all went back to their resort, a beautiful location that Suho had paid for as this was the first time that everyone was going together since high school. They were all given shared rooms. Naturally, Chorong shared his with Seojun.

“Han Seojun,” Chorong began as Seojun changed out of his shirt, “I’m really happy for you.”

“Huh? What for?”

“You always used to complain about hanging out with everyone, but I don’t hear you do that anymore.” Chorong said sentimentally.

Seojun blinked. “Kim Chorong did you drink too much sea water? What kind of a weird thing is that to say?”

Chorong came up and hugged the half-naked Seojun, who balked at the gesture. “What the hell?!”

“Do you know how worried I was about you?” Chorong, with his enormous size, did not notice how Han Seojun desperately struggled to break free from his grip.

“Ya! You pervert, lemme go!”

“Ah-nee, look at you now. You said you would never go on an overnight trip with Suho and Jukyung, and yet here you are.”

Seojun stopped struggling. “What?”

It was odd that out of all people, Chorong had been the one to notice. “I’m so happy for you Han Seojun. Th—”

“Han Seojun, Jukyung’s asking if you would—whatthehell?” Sujin burst in and went still when she saw a half dressed Seojun being held by a sentimental looking Chorong.

Sujin betrayed no emotion. Just wordlessly took out her phone and promptly snapped a photo.

Han Seojun tried to push Chorong away, “No! Ya! Don’t you dare!”

“Jukyung is asking if you will sing songs for us. Quickly get dressed and come over, okay?” Sujin went out and Seojun caught a glimpse of her evil smile as she did.

“Yah! Kim Chorong!” Seojun shouted as Chorong finally let him go.

Of course, Seojun would perform. He always did when Jukyung asked. The group clapped at the end of the first song but the only reaction Seojun cared for was Jukyung. As usual, he found her engrossed with Lee Suho instead of him. Seojun couldn’t help but stare at the two.

“You sounded good.” Sujin came out of nowhere, blocking his view of Jukyung. Seojun knew, she was doing it on purpose.

“Too obvious?” He asked quietly.

“Too obvious. Suah almost noticed.” Sujin moved to block Suah’s line of vision to Seojun’s face.

“Thanks, I owe you one.” Seojun said.

“Pay me back with a song then.” Sujin rolled on her heels.

“Nope. Only Jukyung gets to request songs.”

She pfft-ed through her lips, “Mwo-ya. How stingy.” She turned on her heels.

“What song?” Seojun asked. Sujin smiled and turned back.

“You Were Beautiful by Day6.”

“Why not something by my band?” Seojun sounded almost insulted.

“I like Day6 better.” Sujin teased.

“I expected better taste from you, Kang Sujin.” Seojun adjusted the tuning of his guitar, testing the chords.

“Its my goodbye.” Sujin explained. “I’m moving on from Lee Suho.”

“Haven’t I heard that before?” Seojun said skeptically.

“Its for real this time.” Sujin said. Seojun looked up at her determined face.

“You’re serious.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah. It’s been long enough now. This is my way of making it official. So do a good job, okay?” Sujin walked away.

“I bet I’ll sing it better!” Seojun called after her.

“We’ll see!”

She hadn’t looked at Suho even once during his performance. But then, she hadn’t looked at anyone, just stared out the window. By the end she was tearing up. Seojun saw Suho happen to look over at Sujin.

He’s going to see her cry.

Seojun began to play his guitar loudly and messily, “Yeppeosseo! Yeppeosseo! Neon neomu yeppeosseo!” Everyone winced as he sang, or rather shouted, at the wrong note. But the abrupt bad singing had its intended effect. Suho’s attention was on Han Seojun. It took a second for Sujin to get the message. She sat up straight and wiped her face.

“Han Seojun! Stop it!” Suah yelled and Seojun stopped. “Are you in a rock band?”

Sujin sent him a grateful smile.

“It’s a totally new style of singing. You guys don’t like?” Seojun asked.

“No!” Came the resounding response.

Sujin’s was the only voice that said. “Yes!”

Seojun pointed his guitar at Sujin, head tilted back. “Better than Day6?”

“Much better!” Sujin grinned.

vi.

“YES! I WIN! I WIN!” Seojun ran around the court, pumping his fist in the air as Kang Sujin stared with a flat face and her hands on her hips. After having lost at nearly everything to Kang Sujin, Han Seojun had finally discovered something she was bad at.

“Are you really that happy?” She said, her upper lip pulled up in disdain.

“Ya! How can someone be so bad at basketball? You didn’t score a single goal!” Seojun’s eyes were wide with pure joy, his cheeks uplifted in a wide smile.

“Stop making fun of me.” Sujin fumed. She hated losing.

“I mean, I’ve never seen anyone lose so bad!” He laughed while pointing at Sujin, relishing in her first defeat. He knew he was great at basketball, but he hadn’t expected Sujin to be that bad. Sujin looked away, puffing up her cheeks.

“Zero!” He made a circle from his finger and thumb, “You got zero! I’ve seen worse players score more on accident!”

“Ah shut up!” She stomped her foot, "I was just off my game!”

“Off your game? Wae? Was my handsome face too distracting for you?” Seojun expected Sujin to come after him with a flying kick, or a punch in the shoulder or even a pithy retort. What he didn’t expect was the deep blush that spread across her cheeks. She looked around, choosing to look anywhere but him.

“Oh my God, jinjja? You got distracted by my face?” Seojun moving to look at her face better.

“Ah-nee-godun!” Sujin yelled, dodging his gaze. “Who would get distracted by those mean eyes?”

“Oh, so it was my eyes?” Seojun purred.

“As if!”

“Ooooooh! You’re even blushing!” He teased.

“I’m red from playing!” Sujin spun around and walked away, leaving Seojun laughing.

“I’m joking! I’m joking! I know it’s not that. Come back Sujin-ah!”

They changed out of their sweaty gym clothes. Seojun was wearing his typical brown coat over black pants and a black turtle-neck sweater. He was ready before Sujin so he waited for her outside.

She came out all dolled up, her hair brushed straight, fresh makeup on her face. She had a white coat over a pretty, pale pink dress. Seojun didn’t understand why she had dressed up so brightly today. She even had heels on. Sujin had denied any special reason when he had asked before so he figured this was just a girl thing that he would never understand.

They had only walked a couple of steps when Sujin stopped in her tracks. “Ah, shit. I think I forgot my phone inside.”

“Why are you so distracted today? Where is your head, Kang Sujin?” Seojun complained. Sujin ran back inside to get her phone.

“Got it!” She came back running.

They walked over to the café that they frequented to the point where the barista recognized them now.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t go to the amusement park like you wanted.” Seojun apologized.

Sujin waved a hand dismissively, “Doesn’t matter. It was just a throw away suggestion.”

“But I understand why you wanted to go there instead.”

“You do?” Sujin asked with a tinge of worry.

“Its because you didn’t want me to find out you were bad at basketball, didn’t you?” Seojun snapped his fingers.

Sujin’s face fell. She clicked her tongue in disappointment.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

Sujin replied sarcastically, “Ah, you’re totally right Han Seojun. I am so immature that all I care about is winning against a guy who thought Einstein was an appliance.”

“That happened only once.” Seojun defended.

A silence fell between them as their order came. Wordlessly, Sujin drank her iced latte and Seojun sipped his iced Americano. They often had these moments where neither would speak. But it was a comfortable silence. Sometimes Seojun and Sujin just enjoyed each other’s company without feeling the need to talk.

“You know we never finished our five questions.” Sujin reminded.

“Oh wow. That feels like it was so long ago.” Seojun leaned his head back as he tried to remember. “We covered the When. Where… I don’t remember where I fell in love with Jukyung. I think it was the moment in school where she was making fun of my…” Seojun cleared his throat.

“One of these days I’ll find out what that incident was, Han Seojun.” Sujin claimed.

“But not today.” He smiled. “So yeah, I think it was in school. What about you?”

“I think it was at the tutoring centers. I used to go there to study. My father had hit me, and I was in a strange place at that time. Suho comforted me and I guess that was when I realized I liked him. Now you, why did you like Lim Jukyung?”

Seojun leaned back and thought for the longest time. “She was… unexpected. I only started to pester her because I thought she was dating Suho.”

“Yeah, I remember that pestering part.”

Ya, Han Seojun are you a gangster?! Whiplash. Every time Seojun remembered that moment he felt whiplash.

“Since I hated Suho at that time, I had expected her to be hateful too. I thought she was just some vain, mindless girl but… she was the complete opposite. She was kind and thoughtful. She had a good heart and that made her beautiful to me. With or without makeup.” Seojun paused, then suddenly chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s funny. Before, I was never able to pin down what I liked about her. My feelings always seemed so complicated. But now that I see it… it feels so obvious.”

Seojun didn’t notice Sujin looking down at her hands, nervously rubbing them together, “Seojun, do you ever think you coul—” She spoke just when Seojun did.

“What did you like about Suho—oh sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, no.” Sujin shook her head. “I wasn’t saying anything. You were asking why I liked Lee Suho? Umm…” Sujin thought about it.

“Lee Suho, has never once liked a girl. Not before Jukyung, at least. There was a time when I was his only friend in school. And I thought… I misunderstood, his kindness as interest. I’ve always been pushed to get the number one position, you know? I always had to be number one. And when I thought that the guy that liked no one, liked me… it made me feel like I was number one, even if I ranked low on the grade sheet.” Sujin looked out the glass wall of the café, out on the street where people were walking, and it was slightly drizzling.

“When he found out that my father hit me, I thought he would see me as a crazy person, or pity me, or judge me for hating my father. But he never did. He only comforted me. He just… understood. And it was the first time that I felt that there was someone else who could understand me and understand what I was going through. That’s why I liked Lee Suho.”

Sujin looked back at Seojun. His mouth had shrunken into a small curve.

“But now he’s just annoying.” Sujin said in a lighter tone, “I mean, at a certain point you start hating people when they appear too perfect, isn’t that so?”

Seojun attempted a smile but it was weak.

“I’m happy now, Seojun-ah. I’m happy that I’m not with Suho. I think its for the best. If I think about it. Suho and I are too similar. We didn’t need more of the same. We needed someone who would help us change. Jukyung helped Suho do that. I could never have.”

“That’s a healthy way to look at it. Though I still think I’m perfect for Jukyung.” Seojun said smugly.

Sujin scoffed. “You think you’re perfect for every girl.”

“Where’s the lie?”

“Here! Yeogi! Here’s the lie.” Sujin tapped her finger on Seojun’s side of the table.

“Ah, Kang Sujin. You have no taste.” Seojun squinted his eyes at her in mock pity.

“And you have the IQ of a sloth.”

“I don’t need a high IQ. My greatest strength is my charm.”

“You keep mentioning this charm but I never see it.” Sujin put her hand over her eyes and began to search around.

They bickered in the café till the barista had to remind them, that they were being too loud. The banter continued as Seojun walked her all the way to her apartment. Throughout the way, Seojun could notice Sujin acting nervously; playing with the hem of her dress, combing her hair again and again, wiping her sweaty palms against her coat when she thought he wasn’t looking. He felt she had something to say to him but he didn’t want to ask what it was. If Kang Sujin had something to say, she said it.

Then, out of the blue, she swiveled on her heel to stand right in front of him.

“Ya, Han Seojun…”

“What?”

Sujin gulped. “Ah-nee-da. It’s nothing.” She turned her back to him.

“Whaaaat?” Seojun whined. “You’ve been fidgeting this while time so you definitely have something to say. What is it?”

“I forgot.” Sujin said, walking ahead, biting her lip.

“Mwo-ya…” Seojun let it go. She probably had more to say about Lee Suho and he wasn’t in any mood to hear it.

“Good night, Sujin-ah.” Seojun said when they reached her building.

“D-Do you wanna come up?” Sujin asked, stuttering a bit.

“Nah. I should go. I have an early day tomorrow.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Chalga.” Seojun waved goodbye. He had not walked more than ten steps when Sujin called out to him.

“Han Seojun!”

“What?”

Sujin hesitated. “B-Bye!”

Seojun chuckled. “Mwo-ya. She’s so weird.”

Sujin saw him wave and then leave. “If he turns, then I’ll tell him.” She told herself, trying to work up the courage to say what she had been meaning to the entire night.

But he never turned. Seojun just kept on walking and walking till he disappeared into the crowd.

“I like you, Han Seojun.” Sujin confessed to the wind. “I like you a lot.”

vii.

Han Seojun had to be absent for the whole month due to his idol duties. Sujin was glad for his absence. It had given her time to set her head straight about her feelings. She could still vividly remember, that last time she had ever confessed to a guy and that was back in high school. She clearly recalled how Suho had looked at her with disgust when she had said, or rather declared that he would have liked her if she had confessed first.

No. I wouldn’t have.

“Aish! What was I thinking saying all of those things?” She pulled at her hair as she rolled over in her bed. The humiliation of demanding that Suho break up with Jukyung, and ridiculously saying that she would toss Jukyung aside for him was too much. On top of that, she had tried to kiss Suho and he had pushed her away, repulsed. That in and of itself made her stomach ache with embarrassment.

She had a good heart and that made her beautiful to me. With or without makeup.

“Ah out of all people why him?! Why another guy who loves Lim Jukyung?! What the hell is wrong with me?!” Sujin groaned, rolling around in her bed over and over. Was she obsessed with men who were into Jukyung? Sujin felt frustrated with herself and wanted to throw her heart out.

She just has this warmth about her that just… draws you in.

Kind, caring, genuine, warm; none of those things describe me. Good heart? A single search on the internet would reveal just how good my heart is. Betraying my best friend and ruining all of my friendships in the process… who would say I have a good heart?

Sujin couldn’t compete with the shadow cast by Lim Jukyung. Even if Seojun did start to like her, Lim Jukyung would always be his first love. And just like always, Sujin would be second.

Sujin felt a familiar jealousy creep in; a resentment, a hate, an anger. It was history repeating itself. It was Lim Jukyung again. Why? Why did it have to be her? She and Suho had ten years worth of history between them and even that couldn’t compare to how he felt for Jukyung. Sujin and Seojun had only a year worth of friendship, a quarter of which included Seojun hating her.

It was a dark feeling. A heavy feeling. Like a weight in her chest. Sujin carried it with her whereever she went. She was supposed to meet everyone today. Seojun was suppsed to be back. She felt like she would be a coward if she didn’t go. But she felt like she would hate Jukyung more if she saw her. In the end she did go, and that weight in her chest went with her.

Jukyung was outside alone when Sujin saw her. She was finishing up a call.

Why? Why did it have to be her? Whywhywhy?

Sujin stopped in her tracks. No. She thought resolutely. She would not make the same mistake again. She would not let her feelings take over her judgement. She would not lose her friend again. As much as she loved Han Seojun, she loved her friendship with Lim Jukyung even more.

“Sujin-ah! You’re here-Oh?”

Sujin enveloped Jukyung in a massive hug, almost on the verge of tears. Jukyung hugged her back, confused.

“You know I love you, right?” Sujin said.

“Dangyunhaji! I love you too.” Jukyung hugged her tighter.

“I’ll always be a good friend to you, Jukyung-ah. I promise.” Sujin sniffed.

“Oh, are you crying?”

“No, there’s just something in my eye.” Sujin quickly wiped her face while still holding Jukyung so that she wouldn’t see her cry.

But before she could part, something pulled her collar from behind.

An irritated Suho stood, still tugging at her collar, “You’re not stealing my fiancée.”

“I bet she’d prefer me to you.”

“Okay! Okay! No fighting!” Jukyung declared a ceasefire.

“Are we fighting?” Seojun came up, putting his arm casually around Suho. “If it’s a fight, my bet’s on Sujin.”

“Wae. You think she’s better than me?” Suho asked.

“She’s scarier than you.”

“You traitor.” Suho released himself from Seojun’s side hug and went inside, grumbling. Jukyung followed after him.

“What was that about?” Seojun asked Sujin.

Sujin looked at him. His delicate, boyish features, his mean looking eyes that carried a surprising warmth. Her heartbeat wildly like a hummingbird. Sujin felt like she could spend an entire day just staring at his face. And then she felt it again, the quiet darkness that reminded her that she could never be with him. Quite suddenly, Sujin spun around and kicked Han Seojun in the back.

“Yah! What was that for?!” Seojun yelled.

“For being you.” She said and walked in, leaving Seojun bruised and confused.

viii.

You were pretty

The feeling of not wanting anything more

Moments that only you gave

Everything, everything

Everything has passed

But you were so pretty

Seojun hummed the song as he finalized the playlist for Jukyung’s wedding. Of course, he was going to perform at Jukyung’s wedding. It only made sense given his connection to Jukyung and Suho. The fact that Suho’s father was an important man at Move Entertainment also helped make things official.

A part of Han Seojun had wished that Jukyung hadn’t asked him. He was terrified of her wedding day; terrified of what his heart might do to him, terrified that he might feel compelled to run away with her in front of everyone.

Right now Seojun was calm. But it felt like it was the calm before the storm.

“Memories of me, have probably become, a thing of the past for you too, whatever I saw to you, it will all be something, in the past.”

“What’s that? New song?” His band mate asked when he overheard Seojun singing to himself.

“Hmm? No, its Day6.” The song had been stuck in his head since the day he had sung it for Sujin.

“You’re going to play a cover for your friend?”

“Yeah.” It would be his send off to Jukyung. Like Kang Sujin, Seojun was going to put an end to his chapter with Jukyung.

His bandmate put the song on their speaker. After the first verse he declared, “Yah! You can’t play a breakup song at a wedding.”

“Is it too obvious? I was hoping I could get away with it.” Seojun scratched the back of his head, stretching. He had been on his computer for hours now.

“Take it off. Choose something else.”

Seojun went back through his list of songs that he wanted to play. There was one other song that he had discovered recently by a disbanded group. He had really connected with the lyrics and it wasn’t a breakup song.

“How about this?” Seojun played it.

“Yeah, that’s perfect. Use that for the couple dance.” His bandmate said.

The anticipation of the pain kept Seojun up all night. He worried about how he might behave or what might happen. The next day he woke up grouchy and depressed.

“Woah! Why do you look like a ghost?” His bandmate had said when Seojun arrived that morning. He would be going to the wedding with his band, given that they were performing. This might have been easier if he had gone with his friends.

Don’t worry. I’m here if you need me. Sujin had texted that morning. But Seojun was done relying on Sujin like a crutch. He would deal with things on his own. He didn’t want Sujin to think that all he was good for was complaining about his broken heart.

Seojun waited for the pain to hit when they arrived at the location but it didn’t. The wedding planner helped Seojun and his band set up along with members of Seojun’s own staff. When everything was good to go, Seojun took his leave to meet Jukyung in the bridal room where everyone was taking pictures with her.

Here it comes. The pain. How would it feel? Would Seojun cry again?

“Seojun-ah! You’re here!” Jukyung said. She looked stunning in her beautiful white dress. “Hurry! Get in the picture!”

Everyone was there, already positioned for the shot. Seojun joined Sujin to the side. She was wearing a tasteful black pant suit that fit her well. She was wearing makeup which Seojun noticed looked similar to one of Jukyung’s tutorials.

“How does it feel?” He whispered to Sujin.

“Meh.” She replied. “You?”

It was strange. Seojun didn’t feel anything. “Oddly enough, I feel fine.” Surely he was in shock. The pain would hit any time soon.

It was a while before the pictures were done. Seojun’s cheeks felt sore from all of the smiling.

“Come with me to see Suho.” Sujin held up her arm and Seojun took it. She escorted him to where Suho was receiving his guests.

“Lee Su! Congratulations!” Sujin hugged him. Seojun did the same.

“Yah! I can’t believe we’re old enough to get married.” Seojun commented. Suho laughed.

Chorong and the Seojun Squad came over too, patting a blushing Suho on the back.

Seojun couldn’t help but think that Seyeon would have loved to have seen this. Sujin sensed his sadness and bumped shoulders with him.

“Okay?”

“Uh-huh.” Seojun smiled. Oddly enough he was. The pain still hadn’t hit.

A couple of girls walked up to him and asked him whether he really was the Han Seojun they were fans of.

“Of course!” Seojun puffed his chest and signed their autographs. He couldn’t see it but he could feel Sujin’s disgusted gaze on his back. When they were gone, Seojun turned to Sujin with an arrogant grin.

“Ah, I hope more people won’t bother me for my autograph.” He said in fake modesty.

“You should be grateful to have any fans.” She scoffed at him.

“Ugh. You’re too mean, Sujin-ah.” Seojun pouted.

“Ugh. You’re too childish, Seojun-ah.” Sujin mimicked him.

“Um. Excuse me.” A shy looking girl approached Seojun.

“Oh, you want an autograph too?” Seojun had a pen ready. Sujin gave him her most scathing side eye.

“Um actually—”

“You want a picture too? Sorry but I’m not allowed to take pictures at the moment. But I’ll sign if you like.”

The girl blushed deeply. “No, um—”

“Oh I get it.” Seojun swiped his hair dramatically from his forehead. “You’re here to confess to me. Well then I should let you know—”

“They’dlikeyoubackonstage!” The girl quickly blurted. “They’d like you to join your band. The ceremony is about to begin.”

Sujin laughed uproariously, that clear gurgle of pure, high pitched happiness that Seojun often enjoyed. But not in this moment. Not when his arrogance had been so efficiently deflated.

“Sure. I’ll be right there.” He mumbled to the girl who scurried away. Sujin was still laughing. “Found that funny, did you?” Seojun said, but it was not a reprimand. He liked that she was happy.

“Yes.” Sujin wiped away tears.

“You’re going to regret making fun of me when I perform.” He said, comically pulling the lapels of his jacket before leaving.

The lights dimmed as the wedding began. The Master of Ceremonies kicked things off, guiding everyone through everything. The band only played instrumental now. Suho entered first. Jukyung entered after him, looking every bit the ethereal angel that she was.

The couple exchanged their wows and drank the traditional wine. They then bowed to each other and bowed to their guests. Even in the darkness, Seojun could pick out Sujin. From the light glittering off her cheeks he could tell she was crying. He was too. But these were happy tears. His friends were about to make a new journey in their life together and he was happy for them. Truly. That pain he had dreaded over Jukyung’s wedding never did show up. Perhaps it never would. All he could feel was excitement for his closest friends.

Seojun had only one regret, that Seyeon hadn’t been able to see this moment. Seyeon’s was the one absence he always felt. In that moment, Han Seojun swore that he saw Seyeon among the guests. He saw his friend smile to Lee Suho’s and then to him. But Seojun blinked and Seyeon was gone but Seojun would keep that image of Seyeon similing with him forever.

Once the formal ceremony was over, it was time for the real party to begin. Seojun and his band turned up the performance, raising the mood of the room. People danced and sang along with them as they played so well that Sujin realized she could no longer make fun of Seojun when he bragged about his band.

The band then slowed things down, the set finally reaching the song Seojun was excited to play. He emptied his mind of everything but that one song and how it made him feel. This was for Suho and Jukyung and he was going to give his best performance tonight.

The bride and groom took center stage and swayed as Seojun played a softer version of Haru by a lesser known band, Royal Pirates. His rich baritone filled the room as everyone listened, entranced.

“You’re not a traditional beauty, but I like you, you who gets more attractive everyday.”

Seojun had never understood why people considered her attractive. To him, beauty had never mattered. But as he had gotten to know her, he found her to be more beautiful that how others described her.

“You don’t have a feminine voice, but the more I hear it, the more I get attached.”

He could hear her now, scolding him, yelling at him, throwing witty remarks at him that caused him whiplash, which was just his heart beating really fast.

“I can’t call you often, but I always miss you. Each minute, each second. Yeah-yeah.”

When he thought about it, they never really hung out as much as he did with Suho or his Seojun Squad. Most of the time Seojun was busy with work and so was she. But he still looked forward to the times he would meet her again.

“An entire day would pass just by looking at you. If I look at you, I can’t do anything else. Oooooooh. An entire day would pass just by thinking of you. I won’t be able to sleep at thoughts of you. But I can’t help it, an entire day would pass just because of you.”

Time did fly when they were together. Whether he liked her or hated her, he had to admit. She was never boring. Even through the mundane stuff, she always kept his attention. With her brows furrowed as she concentrated, her mouth turned like an ‘n’. He smiled whenever he thought about it.

“We have so many differences. But you fill up what I lack. No matter how much I see you, you’re always beautiful. No matter what anyone says.”

She was always ahead of him; so much smarter and stronger. Beating him at everything. Well, everything except—wait. He never played basketball with Jukyung.

Seojun missed a note. The guitar twanged awkwardly as he stopped singing. His hands were shaking but he didn’t have time to digest what had just happened. The moment only lasted a half-second; Seojun had recovered quickly and continued. No one paid attention to his little mess up, but his hands were still shaking, and his heart felt like it would burst.

He couldn’t think about it. But how couldn’t he? This song had been for her all along. He had been staring at Kang Sujin the entire time he was performing, without even knowing it.

The base guitarist for his band leaned over to him when the song was done.

“Thought you lost your footing for a bit there.”

“You noticed? Did anyone else did?”

“Nah, I think you’re safe. But are you okay? You’re shaking.”

“Nothing.” Seojun said, more to himself, “Its… its nothing.”

ix.

He never got to see her again at the wedding. The band was surrounded by fans once they finished so they had to be escorted out. Their food had been arranged separately for privacy. By the time Seojun got the chance to break free, Sujin, along with most of the guests, had left.

Which was good because he needed to settle himself before he said anything to anyone. He couldn’t make heads or tails of what had happened.

“I like Kang Sujin? Ridiculous. Totally, ridiculous. This would never happen!”

Be that as it may, his heart still acted strangely when he got a text from her asking if he was okay. She was worried about him since Jukyung and Suho were now married. He told her tersely that he was busy and couldn’t meet. Then threw his phone away when he realized he actually really wanted to meet her.

It was the first time that I felt that there was someone else who could understand me and understand what I was going through.

Seojun could still remember his irritation when Sujin had told him why she liked Lee Suho. He had resented the fact that yet another girl saw Lee Suho as perfect. How could Han Seojun ever compare to the perfectly perfect Lee Suho? He and Sujin had ten years between them and a shared tragedy with their fathers that Seojun didn’t have.

Ah-nee, can’t I be someone who understands? Can’t she see that I get her too?

“Ridiculous. Why would I want her to think I understand her? Ridiculous.”

If Han Seojun had to answer the What, When, Where and Why of his feelings, he would not be able to put it into words. His feelings were intense and complicated. Too complicated for even him to comprehend. Which is why the braincell that he shared with Suho decided that he must be mistaken and that he didn’t actually have any feelings for Sujin.

“Ah-ne-da. I must have been overwhelmed because of Jukyung. Yes, that must be it. It must be a defense mechanism. I’m only thinking about her to protect myself, because I’m still not over Jukyung.”

It made sense. She was the only other girl he was close to in his squad, and they had been hanging out together more than they used to. His heart must have just gotten confused for a moment. Yes, that was it and nothing more.

The group did not meet each other for a while. Suho and Jukyung had gone off to their honeymoon. Suah and Taehoon had their own things. Seojun only met up with Chorong and Co. but his heart was never in those meetings.

He wouldn’t meet up with her. She tried texting and calling but he always gave her an excuse.

Why did we start meeting so much in the first place? He hadn’t noticed when it had happened, but Sujin had become someone he had come to rely on and this he only noticed when he started avoiding her.

“Seojun, you’re not coming to the flower festival?” Chorong asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? What flower festival?”

“Ah-nee, where is your mind these days? You attend it every year! Did you forget?”

Oh right. Seojun always did like to see the flower exhibitions held once a year. He always got flowers for his mother and sister when he went. It may have seemed like a ridiculous hobby for a boy to be so interested in flowers. But Seojun unabashedly liked them and of course, Chorong and Co. were always there to go with him.

“Of course I’m going to attend. Wae?”

“Sujinnie was asking if she could tag along with us. Suah and Taehoon are not around so she has no one to go with.”

Sujinnie?! Seojun blinked rapidly. “Ya, since when are you and Kang Sujin close?”

“Waegurae? Aren’t we all friends with her now? Did something happen?”

Seojun put on a straight face, “Ah-nee!” He exclaimed in a pitch too high, “Nothing happened. I’m just surprised, as all.”

“Aigoo. Did you guys fight? Sujin did say you haven’t been replying to her texts recently.”

Seojun tried hiding his curiosity, “You’ve spoken to her?” He said, as nonchalantly as he could, which wasn’t nonchalant at all.

“Of course. We all had drinks yesterday.”

“What?! Why the hell did you guys meet her and not me?”

“Seojun, she did text you about it.” One of his friends pointed out.

“Yeah! And why are you acting so weird? Do you hate Kang Sujin again?” Chorong asked.

“Ya! Don’t hate her! We like her now!”

“Yes!” Half the group said together.

“Arasso! Arasso! Calm down.” Seojun waved at them to chill. It wasn’t as if he minded that Kang Sujin was hanging out with his friends. But he did feel a sense of betrayal that he didn’t know about it.

“So, how about it? Will you go?” Chorong asked.

The flower festival was an exhibition where all flower vendors came over to show off their best products. People looking for suppliers of flowers and the public in general could attend, buy flowers or just enjoy the various arrangements.

Seojun went with Chorong and the others. Sujin was there waiting for them.

“Ya Han Seojun! You’re alive!” She lit up when she saw him, punching him in the chest with a brutal force only she had.

“Yah! How could you hurt an idol like that?” Seojun rubbed his chest in pain.

“Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“Not at all!” Seojun said, “I’m a man. I don’t get hurt.”

“Pfft. Sure.” Sujin grinned.

They went through the various stalls that showcased the various beautiful flowers. The group seemed to have broken off. Chorong was led away by his girlfriend to take some pictures. The boys all banded around a strange, evil looking plant like school children. Seojun and Sujin seemed to have taken a track of their own.

“You don’t want to take pictures?” Seojun asked, pointing at Chorong and his girlfriend who were stopping at every stall.

“I don’t care for that sort of thing. Wae? You want me to take yours?”

“No. We should take on together.”

Seojun took out his phone and pulled Sujin closer, taking a selfie.

“Ya, you can’t even see the flowers.” Sujin complained.

“Yes, you can.” Seojun put a hand to his cheek. “Right here. I’m the flower.”

Sujin’s lip curled in disdain. “Ah, right.” She said dryly. Seojun laughed and she couldn’t help but smile too.

As a regular attendee, Seojun knew most of the repeat vendors there. He took Sujin around, introducing her to the people who knew him and showing her the various flowers he liked. Sujin listened to him go on at length about where the flowers came from and what they meant.

“You know the language of flowers?” Sujin asked, thinking back to the white tulips and the yellow roses he had gotten her way back when.

“Dangyunhaji! Every man should know flowers. How else will you impress the ladies?”

Sujin chuckled. “You know if being an idol doesn’t pan out, you can always be a florist.”

“I’m too pretty to be a florist. The flowers would all wither in shame.”

Sujin patted his head, sarcastically remarking, “Aigoo, our Seojun has suffered so much for being so good looking. It must have been so difficult, living like this.”

It felt nice being with Sujin again. Seojun felt oddly energetic; like he could run a mile and not break a sweat. He babbled about this and that and wondered if Sujin was getting bored. But she never was, she listened and nodded and responded when need be. Time flew by and before he knew it, they had finished going through the festival.

He pulled at the sleeve of her coat, “There’s something else you should see.”

In the back corner, hidden away from the main area were the small level vendors who could only afford the cheaper stalls. It was a street that led away from the festival. Only a couple of people were around.

“These people don’t earn that much because they’re always placed at the back. But they have the best flowers.”

Seojun introduced her to the people that were running the stall, all of whom he knew by name. Some of them gave Sujin flowers for free. She gratefully took them.

The day was almost ending, the slow sunset had begun. A lot petals had been shed. The street with these vendors was covered in these petals, making it look like a path made entirely of flowers.

“This is really beautiful, Seojun-ah.” Sujin said, admiring the street.

“Yeah.” Seojun said, looking at her.

One of the stalls was filled entirely with tulips. Bright yellow owns, pretty pink ones, eccentric multi-colored ones. Seojun pulled out a purple one and gave it to Sujin.

“Here you go, Princess.” Purple tulips represented regality. Sujin smiled.

“Aaand…” Seojun’s picked out a red one. “Here.” He said. Then quickly-— a little too quickly— he added. “Ah-Because it matches your coat.” He pointed at Sujin’s red coat.

Sujin looked at the flower, then back at him. But said nothing.

They strolled over to a bridge that overlooked the entire festival. The descending sun had set everything in a warm glow. The air smelled sweet with all of the flowers. Petals flew in the air.

“Here.” Sujin handed the tulips back to Seojun.

“Why? They’re for you.”

Sujin smiled. “Phabo. You should be giving them to the girl you like. And tell her what they mean when you give them.”

Seojun sighed wistfully, “The girl I like doesn’t know the language of flowers.”

Sujin hit him lightly with the tulips. “I wasn’t talking about Lim Jukyung. Go and like someone else, and bring her here, and give them these.”

“I wasn’t talking about Lim Jukyung either.”

“Mwo-ya. You have someone you like?”

Seojun’s bit his lip. “Yeah. But I’m going to give up.”

“Waaaee? You only just got over Lim Jukyung!”

“Because this girl likes someone else too.”

“Omo, chincha?” Sujin laughed. “Again? Ya, Han Seojun, can’t you choose a better girl to like?”

Seojun gave a sad chuckle. “I know, right?”

“Who is she? Do I know her?”

“Yeah.”

“Who is it? Tell me!”

“Nope. Secret.”

“Ugh, how stingy. At least give me a hint. What does she look like?”

Seojun looked at Sujin, “She’s beautiful. Very beautiful.”

“Ayyy, that’s every girl out there.”

“Well, that’s all the hint I’m giving.”

Sujin punched his arm but relented. It was perhaps better to not know who Seojun liked. Sujin would have been filled with jealousy again and she didn’t want that.

It was curious however, that Seojun found someone he liked, and she didn’t even know. It was curiouser that this new girl had someone she liked too. Just like Sujin, Han Seojun had—

Sujin looked at the tulips in her hand. They stood out among the other flowers the various vendors had given her. Sujin looked at Seojun, who was busy admiring the sunset.

It was strange, but in that moment, she remembered something her teacher had once said.

Some of you don’t know what it is you really want. And some of you do know but you’re hesitant. However, opportunities come without warning and you must be prepared to take advantage of it.

“Han Seojun.”

“Hmm?”

Sujin pointed the flowers at him, tilting her head slightly. Much like he had done a long time ago when he had asked her Do you think I’m handsome?

“Do you like me?”

And just like she had, Seojun answered immediately, with no remorse or regret. “Yes.”

Like the cool girl she was, Sujin didn’t overreact or exclaim in surprise. She only casually said, “I like you too. So, we should date.”

A beat of a pause. One, two three.

“What? What?! WHAT?! You like me? You like me?! Me?! As in, Han Seojun?”

“Yes you, you idiot. Manhi Joahae.”

“What? Ican’tbelievethis. How? Why? Wait, you asked me if I liked you. Did you already know?” Seojun appeared as if his brain had malfunctioned.

Sujin grinned. “You phabo, even if I didn’t know flower language, I could still tell by the red tulip. Ah-nee, red is the universal color for romance. Didn’t you know?”

Seojun’s face was a mixture of wonder, shock and pure happiness. His eyes were wide, cheeks red and pulled up, mouth hanging open in a slow smile. He had no words to speak. He felt like he would explode like a firecracker and light up the sky in sparks.

“You like me? You really like me?”

Sujin closed the distance between them, pulling at the lapel of his coat. She gave him only a chaste peck on his lips before moving back, blushing. “It’s official now. So, no backing out, okay?”

His mind, that was already haywire, went blank.

He pulled Sujin by the waist, pressing her entire form to him and cupped her face with his other hand. The kiss he gave her was intense and she gasped before giving in to him. Sujin felt she could stay like this forever. The kiss only ended because their mouths kept pulling back in an uncontrollable grin.

“You like me?” Seojun asked.

“Yes.”

He kissed her again but they couldn’t stop smiling. Both of them were shaking.

“You like me?” He asked again.

“Yes.” She replied again, chuckling.

And they kissed again.

“You like me?”

“Yes!” She laughed.

And they kissed again. And he asked again, she replied again, and they kissed again and again and again.

EPILOGUE

When Seojun and Sujin told Jukyung and the others that they were dating, it had been the first of April. So naturally everyone assumed they were joking. Seojun and Sujin hadn’t realized this and were surprised at the luke warm response that everyone gave to their announcement.

“Yes. We believe you.” Suah had said and Sujin missed her sarcastic tone.

when Seojun gushed over Sujin, the group all just looked at each other thinking, Wow, they’re really dedicated to this prank.

And even when they left together, the group all gathered and said;

“You believe them?”

“Why pull a prank that’s so obvious?”

“Exactly! Han Seojun and Kang Sujin? No way.”

Only Suho had been the one to keep his silence and not say anything.

But when they all met up again and Seojun and Sujin acted like a couple again, everyone gasped in shock.

“What?!”

“You guys are actually dating?!”

“How?! How did this happen?”

Only Suho had been the one who wasn’t surprised. “Congratulations. I’m happy for the two of you.” He had said warmly.

“Sujin-ah, what about our affair?” Jukyung said despondently, making a crying face.

“I’ll let you know when Seojunnie goes on tour.” Sujin assured her quietly.

“YAH!” Both Suho and Seojun exclaimed in protest, pulling their girlfriends away from each other.

“Lim Jukyung, you keep your hands off my girlfriend.” Seojun warned.

“I will. But there’s no guarantee she’ll keep her hands off me.”

Chorong and Co. had a similar reaction, they all exploded into shock and happiness at the news. Only Chorong seemed unsurprised.

“So you finally figured out your feelings?” Chorong asked Seojun.

“You knew?”

“Friends know.”

To Sujin, Chorong said, “Sujin-ah, I respect you a lot. But if you hurt—”

“Arasso, arasso. I won’t hurt your precious Han Seojun.”

“I meant don’t hurt me if he ever pisses you off. You scare the shit out of me.”

When enough time had passed and they knew they had to tell their parents, they went to Seojun’s mother first. The woman had been pleasantly surprised by this news and declared Sujin a part of the family immediately. She had met Sujin before and had taken a liking to her immediately but now that she and Seojun were dating, the woman gushed and cried.

“Ah, I have another daughter now.” She said, kissing Sujin on the forehead.

The tricky part was Sujin’s mother, who was still a little pissed over the scandal.

“What will people say if you announce this online?!” The woman had argued.

“But mom,” Sujin made a flower pot with her hands around Seojun’s face, “look at how handsome he is.” And that was enough to entice Mrs. Kang.

Receiving so much happiness and love from everyone was an unfamiliar experience for Sujin. So much so that it terrified her. She felt like she was in a dream that would shatter any minute and she would suddenly wake up back in her old bed with her father banging on the door, screaming at her that she was worthless.

It was this image that jerked Sujin awake in the middle of the night. She sat up straight, her heart was pounding, her hands felt sweaty and clammy. Her father’s shouting was still ringing in her ears.

Seojun stirred on the other side of the bed, “Bad dream?” His rich baritone was husky from sleep but it cut through the darkness of the room and Sujin didn’t feel so scared anymore.

“Um-hmm.”

“Come here.” Seojun patted her side of the bed. She fell back into his arms, nuzzling her nose in his neck.

He sang to her softly, his deep voice soothing her. “Love, love the stars. Love, love the moon. Nothing has really changed. It’s still the same air. With the same bed looking at the same ceiling.”

Sujin’s hands stopped feeling clammy and dirty and soon enough, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of flowers and sunsets.

THE END.

A/N: Dear reader, if you stuck till the end and liked what I wrote, then thank you. Saranghae <3

Please have my badly made memes with my sarangs

#true beauty #true beauty fanfiction #true beauty kdrama #true beauty soojin #kang sujin #kang soojin #Kang Sujin Fanfiction #kang soojin and han seojun #han seojun #han seo jun #han seojun fanfiction #seojun x sujin #seojun x soojin #kdrama #fanfiction #hwang in yeop #park yoona #junjin

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iadoreyouharry · 4 years

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summary: Y/N and Harry are in High School. The two of them absolutely hate each other but have to work together at an English assignment.

pairings: Harry Styles x reader

warnings: Angst and swearing.

word count: 3,6K words

a/n : To be honest, i don’t really know if i like it that much, but i still wanted to share it with you! Please let me know if you liked it! :)

Today was the first day of senior year. Y/N couldn’t be any happier about finally starting her last year. She was over with this shit show of a school. First of all, Y/N didn’t have many friends. She tried to make them, but they were mostly put off by her appearance. She mostly wore dark clothes and didn’t always have a smile on her face. She barely put any effort into her make-up, only some mascara what was smeared out at the end of the day.

But nonetheless Y/N had one best friend. It was hard for Y/N to open up to people and she could be cold and distant to a stranger at first, but if you get her to trust you she was literally a sweetheart. And so, it happened to be that Y/F/N won the trust of Y/N.

In contrast to Y/F/N, Harry Styles was the person Y/N would never trust, even if he was the last person to exist on this planet. The hatred towards him was big.

Harry Styles was a captain of the High School football team and was pretty popular. Freshman guys looked up to him, they aspired to be as good as him in Football one day. And the girls would drool all over him in the hallways. Even though he got a generous choice for girls he was still single. Some people said he didn’t want to have a relationship because he focused too much on football, others said he might be dating someone secretly. Y/N didn’t care about all this bullshit over Harry. She lived her life without having to obsess over a stinky football guy. The funny thing, she was the only one.

“How can you not like him?” Y/F/N asked Y/N.

“How could you like him?” Y/N responded. “He is so full of himself, I’d almost think he wants to marry his self later.” Y/N chuckled when she saw him looking in the tiny mirror in his locker, fixing his hair. “Why would he care so much about his hair, god damn.”

Y/N closed her locker and walked away from the scene. Girls were admiring from a little distance, but all you can do was find the nearest bathroom to puke.

Harry tried sometimes to talk to Y/N, but it was short conversations. Y/N would respond back with short and cold answers and would cut off the conversation immediately.

Y/N may hate Harry, but Harry did find Y/N interesting. He was confused as why she didn’t like him? How could someone not like him? He knew he was handsome and attractive; how could she not see it. But because she didn’t like him Harry felt more attracted to her. She was mysterious and he liked it. He only didn’t show it. After trying to talk nicely to her, and not succeeding, he became cold and harsh to Y/N too.

After 3 full years of pestering each other on and off they were not thinking off ceasing this year.

“Hey, Raccoon, still didn’t learn how to do some proper make-up?” Was one of the first things Harry yelled at Y/N when she walked into school. Y/N’s reaction? holding up two middle-fingers in Harry’s direction with a fake big smile.

Y/N and Y/F/N said their goodbyes when they split to go to their classrooms. First period would be English. Y/N sat down in the back corner of the room to not be seen. The start was good, the teacher, Mrs. Anderson, talked about her summer break and introduced herself. She even showed pictures of her two dogs. But then hell broke loose. Mrs. Anderson paired people together to interview each other about their summer break and write a whole essay about it. Y/N hated projects where you needed to work together. But she hated this project even more when she heard who her partner would be.

“And then next, Y/N Y/L/N together with Harry Styles.” Harry looked to Y/N with a smirk on his face and all you could do was put a middle finger up. Gladly Mrs. Anderson didn’t see it.

After class Harry walked up to Y/N. “Please, fuck off.” Y/N said and grabbed her bag to leave.

“You need to talk to me, otherwise we will both fail this class.” He said and crossed his arms.

“Fine, then I’ll fail this class, everything to not have to talk to you.”

“For a fact, I know you can’t fail this class, or you can’t graduate.” A crooked smile could be seen on his face and his head was tilted a bit. “So, what do you say, mine place, or yours?”

“Library after school sounds just fine.” With those words, Y/N walked off to her next period.

After school Y/N walked to the library to work on the project with Harry. She had told the horrible news to Y/F/N but the only thing she could say was: “Maybe you two might actually talk for once, and maybe even slightly be friendly to each other.” Y/N thought she was crazy and that that never was going to happen.

Once in the library Y/N found a spot and pulled out her laptop to be ready for the interview she had to take. But Harry was nowhere to be seen. The thought of mailing him came through Y/N’s head, but that would look desperate, and Y/N was everything but desperate.

After a good twenty minutes Harry finally showed up, he was dressed in his football uniform, and his hair was one big mess. “Practice took longer than expected.” he said. He took place across from Y/N and laid back in his chair.

“I don’t care what the hell you were up to.” Y/N snapped. “Just be in time.”

“Jeez, why so grumpy?” Harry laughed. Y/N was already irritated and couldn’t wait for this god damn project to be over. “So, what do we need to do?”

“Didn’t you listen to the explanation of Mrs. Anderson?”

“No.”

Y/N sighed and tried to explain calmly what the two of them needed to do.

“So, we need to interview each other?” Harry asked, “and then need to write an essay about each other’s summer break?” Y/N nodded.

“Exactly, it isn’t that hard.”

“If it isn’t that hard, then why won’t you write both of our essays?” Harry proposed. “You wouldn’t have to see me, and I wouldn’t have to do anything.”

“Do I look like your little slave? I’m not going to do that, idiot.”

After a while the two actually started to ask each other questions about their break. Y/N tried to come up with good questions and tried to answer Harry’s questions as well as possible. But his answers were short and Y/N couldn’t work with those, and let’s not talk about the questions he asked.

“Aren’t you going to write my answers down?” Y/N noticed that Harry didn’t write anything down on his notebook during the whole interview.

“Nah, I’ll remember it.” He crossed his arms and smiled. “Or, I’ll just come up with something.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Oh, and who are you to say that? You’re not my teacher.”

The whole afternoon was full of the two fighting like this. and Y/N was relieved when they called it quits. They weren’t done, far from. Y/N didn’t have enough to get a whole essay to write, and she was sure Harry didn’t either, with his dumb ass questions.

“So, when are we going to work on this further?” Y/N asked when she packed her stuff.

“I thought we were done?”

“We are far from done, how do you think you are going to write a whole essay about my break with this little information.” Y/N rambled.

“Just, like I said. I’ll come up with some stuff.”

“You can do that,” Y/N said, “But I’m not going to, so we’re going to meet up again to work on this horrible project, if you like it or not.”

Harry put his hands in his pockets and was thinking about it. “Fine,” he finally said. “But, at my place tomorrow after school.”

“I don’t fucking know where you live, Styles.”

“I’ll just text you the address.” Harry already walks away.

How in the hell was he going to text her if he didn’t even have her phone number? Y/N decided that wouldn’t be her problem.

When Y/N got home she decided to make a start on her essay. Even though she didn’t have much to write about she stretched the hell out of everything and finally got at least one page full. The fact that the main thing Harry did in his break was playing football made Y/N laugh. How can a person be so dedicated about a school sport? When he didn’t play football, he hung out with friends. At least that’s what he had told Y/N.

Harry played so much football to get away from his house. His parents were fighting all the time and Harry didn’t like being in the middle of it all. At home he often was in his room listening to music on 100% volume to zone out of the real world. Harry liked music, he has a guitar and he also likes to sing, but he keeps that to himself. Sometimes he even wrote songs, but would never let anyone hear them. The lyrics would be hidden away in an old book in a drawer in his room.

Of course, he couldn’t tell Y/N this was what he was doing in the holidays. He had a reputation of being the hot football player who wasn’t afraid of anyone. And even though he knew he could get any girl, he still was insecure. He was scared people would see when he hadn’t slept all night because of his parents. The bags under his eyes would sometimes be so big, he put his mother’s concealer under it. Nobody would notice.

Harry was glad that his parents finally decided to get a divorce, and his dad would move out. It was quiet in the house, finally. And Harry got to have a good night sleep again. His bond with his mum had grew since, and he was really glad for it.

When he got home he went to the kitchen where his mum was preparing dinner. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then sat on the counter.

“How was school, darling?”

“I’ve got to do a stupid project for English class with that stupid girl, Y/N.” Harry’s mum knew he didn’t like Y/N, but she disagreed about how he talked about her.

“Harry,” she said warningly. “You probably don’t even know her that well, maybe she’s a really nice girl.”

“Sure, that’s why she’s so cold and harsh to me.”

“Maybe she has her reasons?” Harry walks off unagreeably. He loved his mum, but in this case a little less. He knew Y/N was stupid. She didn’t like him, so why would he be nice to her? He tried it long ago, and that didn’t go well. Why even try now?

After school Y/N was walking to Harry’s house. It was a fifteen-minute walk and rain poured down. She forgot to bring an umbrella and was now soaking wet. She already felt the embarrassment of sitting in Harry’s room, clothes dripping on his floor. Amazing.

After fifteen minutes of walking, Y/N arrived at Harry’s place. It was a cozy house, not too small, not too big. Y/N didn’t expect Harry to live in a house like this. She had more the image in her head of a big house with big entrance and huge garden.

She walked up to the door and rang the bell. Anxiously waiting for someone to open it. After a few seconds a woman opens the door and squeaks when she sees Y/N. “Oh, you must be Y/N! come inside it must be cold!” Y/N follows the woman into the house and there they stood in the hall. “I’m Anne, Harry’s mum.” the woman says. “You’re soaking wet, darling. Do you want something warm to change into?”

“Oh, no I don’t want to bother-”

“I’ll get Harry to get you something warm.” She yells upstairs for Harry to come downstairs and get Y/N some warm clothes. Harry’s face speaks for itself, he’s already done with this bullshit, but does what his mum tells him to.

Anne told Y/N to just follow Harry and it would be alright. So, she did. Harry walks into a room, Y/N guessed was his. The walls were painted in a light color and it was clean. Y/N imagined his room full of football supplies, but she saw nothing what was related to football. While Y/N was looking around the room Harry was picking out some of his old clothes. He gave them to Y/N and told her she could get changed in the bathroom.

Harry had given Y/N some sweatpants and his old football shirt. It was way too big on her, but it was better than the wet clothes she was wearing. Anne offered to put her wet clothes in the dryer so Y/N handed them over to her.

When Y/N walked back into Harry’s room Harry looked up. He didn’t want to find Y/N cute in his old clothes, but he did. And he hated himself for that. It was just cute how the clothes were way too big on her. She awkwardly stood in the door opening and waited for Harry to say something.

“You can sit on my bed.” Harry offers while he was already seated at his desk. Y/N plops down and grabs her laptop from her bag. Y/N was confused, as to why his mum was so kind and caring while Harry was far from that.

The two, were to surprise, working great together. Harry finally asked some good, deep questions and Y/N was glad to give some good answers in return. After an hour the two were finished interviewing each other without any hassle.

Harry dropped on his bed with a big sigh while Y/N was still seated at the end of it. “Glad that’s over with.” he says while staring at the ceiling.

“Yes, indeed.” Y/N answers as she puts her laptop away. “I’ll get my own clothes again so I can leave.”

“They’re probably not dry yet.” Harry says. “You can stay a little longer if you want, I can make you a cup of tea?” In this hour of not fighting with each other Harry began to see why he was interested in her four years ago. He saw her ticking away on her laptop with her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth. It was funny how she made weird faces while typing out some of the answers. And he admired when she giggled sometimes. It wasn’t a lot, but for some reason it felt like home. He knew he couldn’t be harsh to her right now.

“Why are you so nice to me all of a sudden?” Y/N asks suspicious. Harry was never nice to her, so something’s got to be up.

“It was peaceful today, I liked it.”

“I thought that was just to get over with this project.”

“No, I-, do you want tea or not?” Y/N chuckled and nod her head.

She was still surprised Harry was acting so nice out of nowhere. She had do admit she really liked this side of him. But she was still scared he’d change at a glance. Maybe he only was this nice because there was nobody else and his reputation couldn’t be destroyed.

Harry already was off to the kitchen so Y/N was alone with her thoughts. She really wanted to believe he could always be this kind, but she needed to see him like this at school. She was scared that if she would open up, just a little bit right now, he would use it against her, and pester her even more with it.

After 5 minutes Harry comes back up with two cups of tea and hands one over to Y/N. “Thank you.” She says with a slight smile. It was silent while the two of them while slurping their tea.

“Y/N I can’t do this.” Y/N looked up at Harry in confusion. She knew it, he couldn’t fake being nice to her. Of course, she was right. It was just an act. “I can’t act like I hate you, when I actually like you, you seem really nice.”

“What?!” Y/N almost spits out her tea. “How?” she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Then, why were you always so rude to me?”

“Because you acted cold and harsh towards me!” he exclaims.

“Ow.”

Dead silence.

“I’m just not so open towards people I don’t know, I don’t trust people that easy and i can be cold, i guess.” Y/N explains. “I always thought you just picked on me.”

“No, in our first year of High School i really tried to talk to you in a nice way, but you always cut off the conversations.”

“So, because I was cold to you, you became cold and mean to me?”

“Yes, i guess so.” Harry takes another sip of his tea. “I guess the tea is hot today.” Y/N laughed and gave nudged his arm. “Can you trust me now?”

“Well, no.” Y/N says. “How can I know you really mean this?”

“I just don’t pester you the upcoming days on school? If you don’t either?” he extends his arm. “Promise?” Y/N nods and takes his hand.

“Promise.”

The next week the two of them didn’t snap at each other and it was peaceful between the two of them. They also didn’t speak to each other, but sometimes they would send each other a small smile in the hallways.

Y/F/N noticed the sudden change between Y/N and Harry. “What is going on, why aren’t you guys fighting all the time?”

“We came to our senses, and agreed we should stop being mean to each other.” Y/F/N was shocked. She saw the two of you fighting each day for the last three years, how was that changed of a sudden?”

“But, you literally hate each other.”

“Well,” Y/N begins. “I thought he hated me, but it was me who was harsh to him in the beginning, so he became harsh to me too because of that.”

“So you hated him for being mean, but it was your own fault?”

“Exactly.”

“And you’re sure he won’t start picking on you again?”

“I hope so.” Y/N gulped. “He promised it.”

“Let’s hope” Y/F/N says cheery. “Because I’m liking this truce.”

When Y/N was walking in the way of a bathroom she walked by Harry and his friends.

“100% you’re going to pick on her again next week.” She hears one of his friends say laughing.

“Yeah, absolutely.” Harry confirms and laughs with his friend.

“What the fuck, Styles?!” you blurt out. Harry looked up in shock after hearing you. He wanted to say something but you ran into the bathroom.

“Y/N,” he stood by the door to try and talk to you. He heard his friends behind him laughing but he didn’t care. Why did he care so much about this stupid reputation, it wasn’t meant for Y/N to hear that, he didn’t mean a thing he said, he just wanted his friends to like him? “Y/N, please.” he repeated after she didn’t respond after the first time. After the third time of not responding he walked into the girl’s bathroom not giving a fuck.

“Go away.” Y/N yelled. Harry could tell she cried a bit and tried to cover it up. “You don’t care about me.”

“I do, I really do Y/N.”

“Didn’t seem like it back there.”

“Y/N I have a reputation here.”

“Exactly, and getting a truce with me would ruin it, go ahead, let’s ruin each other’s lives again.” Harry wanted to come closer to Y/N but she pushed him away. “If that fucking reputation is so fucking important to you, mister fucking styles, then go ahead and save your reputation.” She punched Harry on his chest. For harry it didn’t hurt that much, but Y/N really needed to relieve her anger at him. Harry grabbed her wrists so she stopped hitting him. “Let me go!” she exclaims. Harry doesn’t let go and stares deeply into Y/N eyes.

“Fuck my reputation.” Harry says. He leans forward and crashes his lips onto Y/N. At first Y/N was in shock by the sudden kiss but was soon joining him. Their lips were in sync. Harry grabbed Y/N’s cheek and stroked it with his thumb and Y/N’s hands were all over Harry’s curls. The anger she had really was outed in the kiss and it made it even more passionate. The two couldn’t get enough of each other, and they both realized that this was the thing they both wanted, but tried to put that feeling away for so many years.

“Harry.” Y/N begins as the kiss came to an end. “Are you sure you want to get rid of that reputation, for me?”

“one hundred percent.” He grabs her hand and squeezes it. “please, trust me.”

“I want to, but how do i know you won’t keep talking about me like that.” referring to the scene with his friends from a moment ago.

“You still have my football shirt from the afternoon we did the interview?” Y/N nodded, Harry said she could keep it because it didn’t fit him anymore. That was a lie, he wanted her to have it, it looked adorable on her. “Please, wear that to school tomorrow, and I’ll gladly show you off to everyone in this school.”

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alexalbonbon · 3 years

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Drive to Survive is less documentary and more Keeping Up With The Formula 1 Drivers. And that needs to change

When Netflix first announced Drive To Survive in March 2018, the show was promoted as an “attempt to immerse the audience inside the cockpits, the paddock, and the lives of the key players in Formula 1 racing. The series will have exclusive access to the world’s fastest drivers, team principals and owners, as well as Formula 1’s own management team.”

The announcement was a clear statement from new owners Liberty Media: attract new fans to Formula 1. And what better way to do this than by collaborating with the biggest streaming platform in the world? Drive To Survive was supposed to become a 10-episode documentary series for both new and established Formula 1 fans and would cover the 2018 season.

The show did a decent job in its first season, it did give a fresh look behind the scenes of the sport, with some drivers also allowing the camera crews in their personal lives. It introduced us to (most of) the teams, drivers, and team principals and gave an insight into the traveling, multi million dollar circus that is Formula 1.

But how are you going to cover a racing championship if you’re not allowed access to the two major teams fighting for that championship? You can’t, and the producers decided to take a page out of the Keeping Up With The Kardashians manual and thought it would be fun to give a show that was supposed to be a documentary show about the pinnacle of motorsport a reality series makeover in post production instead.

While we did see some of Daniel Ricciardo’s family and life off-track, this was completely overshadowed by the producers’ excessive need to dramatize his inter-team rivalry with then-teammate Max Verstappen. Any person who followed Formula 1 and especially Red Bull at the time knew that, although Daniel indeed was struggling with his position within the team, the two were not the enemies the show makes them out to be and are actually good friends. And rather than learn from the first season and the feedback given by both fans and drivers, the producers decided to up the drama even more for the next two seasons. Meanwhile, all of us are sitting here wondering why. If you spend some time following the sport, there’s plenty of drama already.

Going forward with seasons two and three, it was apparently decided that the show needed more of a Hollywood feeling and plenty of episodes were given the hero versus villain treatment. This reached its peak in the Red Bull focused episodes in both seasons two and three. Take the difficult (to say the least) work environment of the “big” team, mix it with some weird crap said by Christian Horner and top it off with the commentary by Will Buxton literally nobody asked for and you have yourself a Pierre Gasly versus Alex Albon rivalry. Where in season two Gasly was portrayed as the person keeping Red Bull back in the World Championship and Albon came in to save the day, season three decided to reverse Uno that narrative and made Albon (one of the only three people of color on the grid) the one in this role, while Gasly thrives at AlphaTauri. Albon is made look weak, stupid and slow. All things people who have looked beyond his Red Bull stint know are not true. Not once is it suggested that Albon was put under immense pressure by being moved to the “big team” in what was only his first season of Formula 1. Nor would Horner ever take responsibility for the clear favouritism shown to Verstappen.

And then there is what might be the biggest crime in the entire show: the lack of presence of record race winner, seven-time World Champion Lewis Hamilton in season three. There are no good words for whoever was in charge of production and decided that this man, one of the greatest, if not the greatest, Formula 1 drivers of all time, was not worthy of an entire episode dedicated to his story, his racecraft, and his activism. The only black driver on the grid, Drive To Survive gave him five minutes at the end of the very last episode to touch on the Black Lives Matter movement Hamilton has been a vocal supporter of for years. His record equalling 91st win at the Eifel Grand Prix was briefly touched upon, but his record equalling seventh World Championship in Turkey was apparently too much of an effort to include. It only enhances the fact that the We Race As One campaign Formula One Management ran last year was nothing more than a PR stunt. It is time to take Lewis Hamilton seriously, he has a platform and he wants to use it and Netflix not giving him that opportunity is shameful. Yes, a big part of the demographic of Formula 1 consists of straight, white men who absolutely refuse to look at the world outside of their bubble. But Netflix promotes inclusivity, so why should this show be any different? It is a Netflix original show, which gives them no way to point at anyone else being the final part of production responsible. By showing the (graphic) clip of George Floyd’s death and letting Hamilton say three sentences about the BLM movement, you’re not promoting the inclusivity the streaming service wants to stand for. Formula 1, Netflix, and Box To Box Productions all need to do better, and they need to start doing better now.

So how does the show move forward? Let’s start by throwing out the terrible “scripts”, including those terrible one-liners Lance Stroll throws out in the first couple of season three episodes (I like Lance, but this made me cringe so hard, my eye is still twitching). Several drivers, including Max Verstappen, and more recently George Russell have spoken out against the framing the show chooses. This should be a clear sign that things need to change, especially if one of the drivers above called the show “cringey” in front of the Netflix cameras. Is there absolutely nobody in the producing team who has any real knowledge of the sport and the regulations itself? We need less Christian Horner, less Will Buxton and less forced drama and rivalry. If you put twenty men who get paid hundreds of thousands of euros in a paddock and drive around the fastest cars in the world for a living, the drama will write itself.

Formula 1 loves reminding people that it’s the “pinnacle of motorsport”, so why not show that? Why not show that the world of Formula 1 has some of the brightest minds out there that came together in the fight against COVID-19 in Project Pitlane? Or how they were one of the first major sports that returned to their competition, setting up a huge logistical challenge and managing to create a calendar with seventeen races in twelve different countries, while keeping COVID infections to a relative low? But they also should focus on the parts the teams may not always want to show. Why does Red Bull seem to have a curse on that second seat? Why does Haas have to take on a driver who didn’t manage to finish in the top 3 of the Formula 2 championship, while the vice-champion was left without a seat? Why did we have to say goodbye to the Williams family and why weren’t they given a proper sendoff in the show? Especially with Williams having the only female team principal in the paddock. And why aren’t we shining a light on what’s important: a black man standing alone in his fight for equality.

Drive to Survive should give us what it promised: an exclusive behind the scenes look of one of the most exciting sports out there. The drama will write itself, we just want the good, the bad, and the ugly. And these are things the Netflix crew can achieve, even with the current COVID restrictions still in place in the paddock.

#i kinda started rage writing this last night and ended up with 1300+ words #danielle writes stuff #f1 #formula 1

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breathings-of-the-heart · 4 years

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Imagine Levi Confessing his Love for You

A/N: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THE TEXT BELOW BEFORE PROCEEDING THANK YOU :))

HERE IS A TIMELINE / EXPLANATION / BACKGROUND INFORMATION BECAUSE CASE THE TIME SKIPS OF THIS STORY ARE CONFUSING: I’m sorry for that everyone, I know the dates are sloppy and as a whole this fic doesn’t make too much sense; I tried to edit this piece as best I could to make the story as easy to follow as possible, but seeing as I can’t unpublish part 1 or 2, the cleanup still leaves things bit unclear. These imagines were originally chapters of a longer Levi x Reader fic that I decided to discontinue, which is why there are so many loose ends. Here was my original intention for this story, broken down for the few who choose to read the Author’s Notes lol.

We are going to do this in the order of the 3 part fic (I also put attached all the links to the titles)

Part 1: Imagine Relating to Mikasa About Loving Someone in the Military

The scene is set during the events of SEASON 1 of Attack on Titan, BEFORE the Female Titan Arc. (Y/N) was also hand selected by Levi to be part of the original Special Operation Squad; she bit her hand at the dinner table along with Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oluo to show their dedication and understanding towards Eren wayyy back in the beginning of the series. The Survey Corps is making preparations for their first attempt to go to Shiganshina since the Fall of Wall Maria and not only uncover the mole who killed captive titans Sonny and Bean, but also to get to Eren’s basement.

Part 2: To Love Another

The flashback and opening scene in the beginning of this writing piece (where (Y/N) and Hange are talking to each other) occurs shortly after (Y/N) wakes up in the infirmary room, before anyone breaks the news that she, aside from an injured Levi, is the last surviving member of Squad Levi after Annie killed the others in the Forest of Giant Trees in her female titan form. Hange’s intentions were to bring the (Y/N) and Levi together so they would be able to support each other during this mutual loss. But alas, (Y/N) accepts his rejection and the two suffer the aftermath of this tragic news alone. To read this arc for context/bonus content to get a better understanding of this mini series, see my posts (as a sort of prequel, if you will) Imagine Levi Finding you Injured on an Expedition and Imagine Being the Last Member of Squad Levi To Survive to fill that time gap :)

In real-time, all of Season 2 and Season 3 Part 1 have gone by with limited interaction between (Y/N) and Levi. This part of the story is occurring during Season 3 PART 2, (spoilers) after the Coup D'etat, and after Historia becomes Queen. (Y/N) is no longer an active soldier, having sustained injuries too severe to be reliable in combat. She remains useful to the Corps as a battle strategist, however, which allows her to stay. The Scouting Regiment is currently preparing to go to Eren’s basement in their second attempt, knowing Reiner and Berthold will be waiting for them there.

Part 3: Imagine Levi Confessing his Love for You (YOU ARE HERE)

This part takes place pretty much a week or so after the events of “To Love Another.” It is revealed how much (Y/N) has isolated herself in the months between Parts 1 and 2 from not only Levi, but Hange, the only one besides Mikasa who knew about her feelings for Levi prior to their falling out. (Y/N) confesses her feelings for Levi before the mission to Shiganshina in Season one, and the fic parallels itself and comes full circle once their final interaction occurs before the second and final mission to Shiganshina, for which, (Y/N) is unable to go for her death would be almost certain. She seen to be more valuable inside the walls, where she can carry on the duties of the Survey Corps should the entire regiment collapse during the mission. This is the final part :)

I HOPE THAT CLEARS THINGS UP!

requested by @a-single-uwo @dracq and @little-diva-gurl and a lovely anon who def isn’t the happiest that this took so long. Deepest apologies! Hope this was worth the wait. I also hope this post finds everyone safe and in good health during these crazy times <3

~~~~~

Dread bottled up in the bottom of your stomach, which threatened to fall down to your knees. Even Hange’s eyes brimmed with concern when she informed you that Levi requested your presence in his office; all of which was out of the blue, uncharacteristic, after months of him being accustomed to giving you your space.

Feigning annoyance, you stared at the soldier dummy two paces ahead, dented heavily with the marks of your punches. The sun was beating down on the early autumn day, and heat waves rose from the ground. It illuminated the glistening perspiration sliding down your figure, torso rising and falling in short breaths of exhaustion.

Hange watched you carefully from a distance. She noticed your tense muscles, clad in a sports bra and boxing shorts; the lack of attire made it impossible to hide the sudden tension and stiffness embedded in your lean muscles, a tell tale sign of distress. As a creature of observation and analytics, the Squad Leader could sense your discomfort as if it was written across your forehead.

The brunette watched you wipe the sweat off your forehead and yell in frustration, turning towards her direction and moving to land a kick at her head.

Unfazed and in possession of sharp reflexes, Hange took a step back, only to watch as you twisted mid-air and landed a 360 Crescent kick to the dummy-shaped bag, which broke open on impact under the force of the blow. Sand poured out of its opening and spilled onto the ground in a steady stream that grew less heavy as the seconds passed.

“I’ll have to admit, you are getting better, but (Y/N), don’t get your hopes up,” Hange cautioned. “The problem does not reside in your muscles. No matter how well you learn to fight like you used to, Annie crushed your ribs and threw you to the ground: it's your lungs that will never recover. You can’t come with us to Shiganshina tomorrow like this.”

Hunched over with hands on your knees, you regained a regular breathing pattern and began to feel the explosive pain in your chest. Airways blocked, you began coughing, willing the oxygen to enter your body.

“Let me humor myself, Hange-san. If I don’t try, I might go insane.”

It was almost tragic that such a young soldier was out of commission; you were full of promise, rivalling Mikasa in skill. Hange knew you were itching to do what you trained for your whole life: Coming to Shiganshina and putting it all on the line had always been your number one goal. You didn’t want to be left behind again, to die bitter and alone without the only people you cared about.

“Regardless, (Y/N), you’re stalling,” Hange smoothly shifted the topic of conversation back to what brought her to you in the first place. “He still has that power over you, huh?”

"It'll pass eventually," you sighed, hoping the words were true.

You bowed towards the tall female. She smiled in return, shaking her head softly.

Whilst pacing away, said person stopped you once more.

“(Y/N). For what it’s worth, I stand by what I said before. Don’t look so nervous, okay?”

Her words replayed in your head, a haunting ghost of the not-so-long ago past. Time was strange, that way. It seemed like everything happened yesterday yet in another lifetime, all at once. “He loves you, more than he’s ever loved anyone. Surely you know that.”

Stupid, you thought, how I might have believed it once.

As you made your way down the hall, numbness crept into your body once again. You were too proud to admit you were afraid, especially with the Section Commander’s radiating sympathy, but everyone knew the once friendly dynamic between you and the Captain transformed into one more distant and cold. With each step towards the door, you felt the icy chill grow and that fact alone shook you to the core.

But it didn’t matter, seeing as Levi was of superior authority. There was no way around it.

Your hand shook as it raised to knock.

~~~~~~

“Name and business,” Levi spoke, voice muffled by the closed door.

“It’s (Y/N), sir. I was hoping to speak with you.”

There was a pause, and in that time you considered the option of fleeing back to your room and retreating back to a life of emotional safety, normality. It wasn’t too late to forget.

It had been a week since you spoke to Mikasa on the rooftop, after realizing the deep shit your heart decided to put you in. You didn’t think Levi would notice the distracted nature of your behavior-- tried to make it as subtle as possible whilst you figured out what you felt for him.

But before you could explore other options, Levi muttered a stern “enter.” You knew with the first expedition back to Shiganshina tomorrow, and the prospect of death closer than it has ever been on a mission, it was now or never.

The room was dim, small, warm, and thick with building tension. Shadows danced across the Captain’s face, sharp features lit by an orange flame. Only candlelight, sourced at his desk, assisted your adjusting eyes.

Your nose was hit with the smell of tea and cleaning products upon entry. This fact made you smile despite your bundling nervous energy. It was a familiar place, filled with memories of late night conversations (granted, of mostly you speaking and him listening), witnessed only by the large piles of paperwork. It started here and resulted in a natural, growing fondness kept secret to all except you two and the moon looking in from the window.

This man was your squad leader, your commander, your trusted comrade. There was no need to be afraid-- Not unless of course, you held the potential to shatter such damn a delicate relationship.

And you did.

Was it worth it?

Your gaze gravitated towards the center of the room where the Lance Corporal sat. And in that instant, your smile evaporated instantly. He placed his pen down, gracefully resting his cheek on his fist and lazily tossing the raven locks out of his eyes-- they landed on you, piercing yet drowsy and indifferent upon first glance. He was beautiful, as always. The allure was nearly sickening; unfair to the rest of the world.

Looking closer, however, he was anything but relaxed. The observant eye could see his countenance stirred something different. He seemed sharp and focused, ready to dart out and wrap himself around your heart, squeezing tighter with every breath you took. And you felt it-- the heart palpitations, which got worse at the sight of him.

He seemed… different. Dangerous, like a storm stirring in the distance, and the inevitable downpour that comes with it. The dark circles under his eyes told tales about the insomnia; a fresh cup of caffeinated black tea even rested on his left, steam rising out of it. And whilst attraction was undeniable, your concern always came first.

Levi was never quite good at getting proper rest before a mission.

“(Y/N),” The word was breathy, yet his voice was rough.

You shuffled in your spot, your name on his tongue making your stomach churn with desire.

Levi seemed to pick up on your affliction, getting out of his chair and gliding towards you. Everything happened fast and slow all at once, starting off with a momentaneous rush of air and the collision of your back with the office wall. A small shriek filled the air, out of place against the silence; was that your voice? The pain should’ve been there, but it wasn’t.

Then the seconds dragged out. Levi was a new person, setting your skin aflame as he gripped your wrists and pinned them against the wall. His lips brushed your eartips, which turned red the instant the raven’s breath fanned over them. This normally reserved, disciplined man unleashed something you had never seen before.

“Finally ready to talk to me about why you’ve been acting so strange, brat?” he whispered.

This wasn’t supposed to be so dirty. He was angry, but the mood was established in layers: something more sinister existed beneath.

The scent of fresh pine filled your nostrils until your brain went foggy. Levi was close--so close, and with the fact that you’ve been avoiding him mixed in with the fact that you missed him for it, all bets were off: there was no stopping the words that came out of your mouth next.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” you whispered back, looking him dead in the eyes, no fear this time.

His grip on your wrist slackened.

“Hm?”

You took in a deep breath, ready to leave it all on the line, and spoke.

“I like you a lot, sir. And not in a comradery type of way. I-I just thought I’d tell you before, you know, we leave tomorrow.” Your gaze found the floor again, too timid for your own good. But the statement was said, and it was finite; there was no turning away from it.

The Captain’s eyes went wide and gleamed brightly at you. His chest felt lighter and as he looked down at you in speechless awe, staring at anything but his face in your adorable embarrassment, he realized exactly why your absent look irked him those days ago. Why your lack of enthusiasm and lighthearted-ness gave him a strange sense of frustration.

Levi never felt more awake, more hyper aware of his surroundings.

The feeling of your chest pressed against him, the heat of those rosy cheeks, the pounding within his ribcage, the moon hitting your pretty face. With your figure in his arms, after the blissful seconds passed, everything felt, for once, okay.

Until it wasn’t.

Gaining the courage to look back up at him, you all but tore apart at the scowl on his face as demons flitted through his beautiful brain and polluted the image of happiness. Levi grew more indignant by the second, all but throwing your arms he held back at your sides like they were poison to the touch.

Tears pooled in your eyes as the soft expression you didn’t get to see turned sour, disgusted-- the Captain’s lips curling into a snarl as he imagined what he could lose if he opened up his heart for this girl in front of him to take. The risk and pain of falling for someone, in the world the two of you lived in. And all the stoic man could think was how he allowed this charade to come so far.

No, he wouldn't allow it.

“Get out, (L/N)” he commanded, harsh and unforgiving.

You were trembling, body feeling detached from reality as it moved, convincing itself that it was simply a nightmare. Levi’s cruel demeanor all but shattered you as you looked wide-eyed and his anger grew, the short man pacing behind his desk and bringing a hand over his face. His free one crumpled into a fist, knuckles turning white as he slammed it on the wood, the loud bang making you jump; the fear, grief, confusion coming all at once until it choked you and your vision spotted black.

“I said GET OUT!”

The room stilled and Levi looked up to face you cowering near the door, a single tear rolling down your cheek. He stilled at the sight, the weight of his words dawning upon him.

“I-I’m sorry,” you gasped before racing out of the room.

Had you looked back, you would’ve seen Levi’s outstretched hand betraying his body, desperately reaching out for you, gray eyes filled with pain.

But you knew now you’d never be dumb enough to spare him that second glance-- and maybe that was the right call, seeing as his feet moved in the direction you left, only to shut the door left askew in your wake.

~~~

The Captain’s gaze was on you more than necessary, but it was clear the two of you had the same thought: You focused everything into this discussion, melting into the emotionally-detached soldier your duty commanded, just like Levi did. His words had no ulterior motive, no deeper meaning. They were monotonous and empty.

Or so you thought.

Levi stood up the second you came in, but your gaze fell to the ground in submission.

“Hange said you needed to see me, Captain?” your voice was small and weak; you kicked yourself for it. How pathetic.

“Damn you...”

The man said nothing more, brushing his fingers along your cheekbones and you everything hit you like whiplash, the memories. Levi ran them along your face, down to your chin to lift it gently, so that for once you’d let your eyes meet instead of looking at the ground like a coward.

When they did the man’s breath hitched in his throat, because although your (eye color) orbs were no longer as vibrant, they were still beautiful and entrancing; why hadn’t he ever appreciated them before?

"I missed you, brat," he spoke firmly.

You felt a churn in your abdomen as you watched his eyes study the details of your face and take in every feature, committing it to memory painfully slow. You were paralyzed, his face inches away from yours and forcing buried emotions to resurface as months of restraint came undone. He didn’t speak, holding you delicately after not being this close for far too long and discerning what he’s been missing.

“Um, Captain? What are you...?"

You bit your lip, feeling puzzled and confused as you remembered the hate in Levi's orbs the last time you saw him like this.

All you could see now was how quickly his emotions shifted from serenity to fury that fateful night, and as you recollected the way Levi lashed out, all chaos and fury, he retracted his hand.

And you flinched away.

The Captain froze.

“Don’t-- don’t fucking do that,” he growled, his urgency startling. “I would never hurt you, (Y/N).”

Your eyebrows furrowed, all inhibition thrown out the window the second Levi’s countenance flashed with hurt at your response to his touch. You let your fear go and emotions free at the irony of the raven’s statement. Your mind went into overdrive, recounting every instance you wanted to give up and leave, drown in yourself, give up on finding purpose in the aftermath of rejection and Squad Levi’s death and your permanent injury changing your way of life. Things you faced alone, because instead of rekindling any semblance of a relationship, Levi tossed everything away and berated you for feeling.

The man who resided here cut your heart expertisely like the countless swords he wielded then disposed. He did not have the right to look at you so kindly; did not have to right to fan the flames of false hope. But here he was, procrastinating until the very last day to take initiative regarding those actions.

“Why are you doing this?” you whispered, forgetting your composure.

“I’d advise you not to speak in riddles,” Levi spoke in a low and even voice, no real malice as he addressed you and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You took a deep breath and fought to remain calm, grabbing Levi's wrist to keep him from touching you.

“Please don’t toy with me, or mock my feelings like this. Why did you call me here? You made it plenty clear how you feel about me, Levi. What else is there to say?" you begged, the lack of closure driving you insane.

This was the first time you used his name, an unprecedented amount of spite and pain expressed through it, because you wanted Levi to remember this moment. It was over: that time of feeling sorry and ashamed of yourself for being nothing other than human. The remorse was gone, and the heartache was fleeting.

“Tell me, dammit!”

His was overflowing.

“You want to know how I really feel about you, (Y/N)!?” the Captain shouted, voice rising because for a man who relied on impulse and action on the battlefield it was fucking frustrating, watching the woman in front of him live this way for the simple reason that he was not good with words. "The thoughts that go through my head when you can't even bear to look at me?!"

"No, that's not what I asked. I already know that you don't--"

"--Fuck this."

Relying on instinct to guide him, Levi leaned forward and kissed you.

The second his lips met yours, you melted on the spot, knees giving out beneath you. Tongue sliding into your mouth, Levi simultaneously lifted you into the air, feeling lightheaded as you moaned into him, eagerly returning the kiss. His hands were everywhere, grasping at your waist, clutching the back of your head, running down your thighs. You were in such a state of euphoria that nothing else existed.

Your own digits threaded through Levi’s raven locks and pulled needily, emitting a growl from his throat as he bit down on your lower lip. He reveled in the feeling of your legs around his waist as your soft lips worked against his own, hungry and relentless. The kiss was passionate and you’d imagined it a million times over, but this-- Levi successfully ruined you for any other man.

The need for oxygen pulled you apart, Levi’s strong arms keeping you in the air as his eyes remained shut; he pecked your lips once, then twice, savoring the moment until it mournfully passed.

He was hesitant to break the silence, but you deserved it. You waited long enough to hear the truth, and he knew his time was running out; you weren’t going to wait for him forever.

“(Y/N)...” he began to speak, forehead resting on yours as he panted softly to catch his breath. “I dreamt of you last night. I have been for days.”

“Levi--”

“--Just listen,” he interrupted, unable to stop himself from kissing you softly once more. “Neither of us are running away this time.”

You fell silent as the man let you down, pulling you into his solid chest as you buried your face in his shirt, patiently listening. His calm heartbeat thrummed soothingly in your ears like a metronome.

“Isabel, Farlan, Oluo, Petra, Gunther, Eld. They all knew that what they meant to me. And I them."

One of the only things that made it easier to say goodbye, you thought with a bittersweet pang in your chest.

"With us, it's different. I died in every dream, (Y/N). Every one. And in every single one, you lived on believing I never loved you. Call me selfish, but I...”

You pulled away from the stoic man, searching his gaze as he trailed off. Shyly, you interlaced your fingers, his larger hand enveloping yours and you prayed to whoever was listening upstairs that all of this was real.

“I just can't leave until you understand...”

He clutched you impossibly tighter, eyes squeezing shut.

"...that you, are everything."

~~~ Extended Ending ~~~

A soft hum filled the air, the tune dreamy and sweet as you repeated the melody once again. You smiled warmly as hands wound around your waist, pulling you closer to a toned and shirtless Captain Levi, silken sheets tossed haphazardly on top of the two of you. His breath sent goosebumps on your neck as he kissed your shoulder gently, warmth deliciously intoxicating.

Giggling now, you turned around to face him, the man’s onyx hair ticking you softly. You captured your lips in his with one smooth movement and snuggled closer, taking in the small slice of heaven that was home in his arms, legs tangled together. Feeling unbelievably content, like your heart might burst, you leaned forward and rubbed your nose against Levi's.

Although he wasn't smiling, the look he was giving you revealed his own sensation of happiness.

“I never thought you’d be the cuddling type,” you remarked devilishly, scrunching up your nose as you teased him.

Though your tone was lighthearted, you were painfully aware that the moment was ending. You internally cursed the sun as it started to set, orange light peeking in through the window shades to signal the coming of night. Levi said nothing, looking deeply into your eyes, and like always, it felt as if he could read the contents of your soul.

But it wasn’t vulnerability you felt: on the contrary, you knew you would never find as safe a place as here. With him. Finally.

“Levi...” you swallowed, humor all but gone. “Now you have to come home.”

To emphasize your point you sat up on the bed, legs tucked neatly underneath you as you stared imperatively at your lover.

“Mhm. We’ve wasted enough time,” he agreed, taking you by the wrist to pull you back on top of him, to bask in this personal paradise if only for another minute.

#levi ackerman x reader #lance corporal levi #LEVI ACKERMAN #snk #shingeki no kyojin #AoT #attack on titan #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan x reader #snk imagines #Captain Levi #snk season 3 #aot x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman imagine

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viastro · 4 years

Text

the truth untold | choi seungcheol

ミ★ synopsis: you’re the smartest person in your grade, and choi seungcheol is the track star of the school that everyone has an infatuation with. that’s why your relationship has been a secret to the entire school for the past year.

ミ★ genre: highschool!au, hidden relationship, humor, fluff

ミ★ warnings: small fight :p

ミ★ word count: 4,484

ミ★ pairings: seungcheol x female reader

ミ★ notes: hi ! This is a rather hefty oneshot I wrote lol uhhh I was planning to actually split it up into three parts but I was like, let’s treat the gang today HAHA I hope you guys like this one! also !!! this is dedicated to @babiesanshine cause she biases cheol <3

“Cheol, can you hand me the almond flour?” You ask as you prepare the bowl of ingredients for the macarons. “Here you go yn.” He says, placing it on the counter beside you.

“Thanks baby.” You say and he gives you a warm smile, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before he goes back to the dining table to work on his homework.

You’re currently making macarons for the national honor society’s club fundraiser tomorrow. Your friends always rave about your different flavored macarons whenever you bring some, so the club decided it’d be a good idea for you to make some to sell at the bake sale tomorrow.

“What flavors are you making this time?” Seungcheol asks from the kitchen table. You pause the measuring of the powdered sugar to think for a second, because honestly.... you did not think that far ahead yet.

“Uh..”

“You didn’t think that far ahead yet, huh?” He says, taking the words straight out of your mouth. You turn around and give him a big smile making him laugh.

“I might make cotton candy flavored ones, and chocolate mocha ones? We’ll see how I’m feeling in a second.” You tell him and he nods, turning back to work on homework again.

You and Seungcheol have been dating for over a year now, but have been friends for a lot longer since your parents are close. You are your grade’s valedictorian, the girl in both Key Club and National Honors Society. You’re not really an allrounder though because you dislike sports and exercise with a passion. You like to watch sports and support your school’s teams, but you don’t like to participate in them whatsoever.

However, your boyfriend Seungcheol is the exact opposite when it comes to sports and physical activity. He’s on the track team and likes to workout in his spare time. He’s practically the track star, and you’re the smartest kid in school. The both of you are in two different ranks, but you’re each excelling in your own ways.

You’re pretty well known among the school due to your intelligence, but you’re also rather outgoing. While there’s Seungcheol, the guy every girl in each grade has a massive crush on. His friend group, which consists of twelve other handsome guys, Jesus Christ, are the eye candy of your high school.

That is why no one knows that you two are together. Except your guys’ families, as well as the friend group, literally none of the student body knows that the valedictorian and the most handsome jock in school have been dating for over a year. You both decided that this was for the best, mainly for your sake because you knew the girls were vicious when it came to your boyfriend. You can’t really blame them though, he’s literally the best possible man ever.

There was one time when you were both sophomores, where a rumor spread around that Seungcheol was dating this one girl a grade above you guys. The next day, she literally had so many sticky notes placed inside her locker with harmful messages from the jealous girls who had a crush on Seungcheol. It only stopped once he confirmed that it was just a rumor.

You didn’t think that those types of things happened in real life, but good fucking lord were you wrong. Now that’s why you guys kept it a secret, for your sake. It was a rather good system you had going, you both only gave each other small glances at school, other than that you guys hardly spoke. The only thing that’s a bit annoying, is to see so many girls try and attempt to flirt with Seungcheol. You’re lucky that he never plays along with it though, he only has his eyes on you.

“Alright, I finished my homework. Let me help you baby.” Seungcheol announces from the dining table, packing up his laptop and placing it into his backpack. You’re practically done with the cotton candy macarons, now you just need to work on the chocolate ones.

“Okay! Can you start piping the cotton candy batter onto that baking sheet please? Then put it in the oven for me once you’re done?” You ask and he nods as he raises his arms above his head to stretch. You lowkey eye the sliver of skin that appears when his shirt rides up, taking notice of his v-line, before he lowers his arms. He raises an eyebrow at you, and you immediately turn away.

“You’re silly yn, you make it so obvious when you check me out.” Seungcheol teases, wrapping his arms around your middle as you start putting the chocolate batter into another piping bag. You giggle, “Whatever. You were stretching like that to get my attention anyways.”

“Perhaps. Good thing it worked.” He says, nipping at your ear before he lets go to wash his hands. You feel your cheeks warm as you recall what just happened, almost giggling to yourself like a little girl. Cute.

✿✿✿✿✿✿

“These taste so good!” A freshman tells you excitedly as she takes the first bite of one of the macarons you made. You smile widely, “Thank you so much! I hope you have a good day!” She waves as she walks off with her friends, and you let out a content sigh.

“Wow yn, your macarons are the real star here at this bake sale. You’ve given us the majority of the profit so far!” Your best friend, Hyejin, squeals, giving you a big hug and you laugh, reaching around to hug her back. You and her have been best friends since freshman year, and she’s the only one outside of Seungcheol’s friend group who knows of you and him dating.

“You’re so sweet Hyejin, I’ll be sure to make some more later this week and bring you some.” You promise and she smiles, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek as she is rather affectionate with you.

“Back to register!” She says, giving you finger guns as she walks back over.

You start organizing your small paper containers, keeping busy as you wait for some more customers. You only have about thirty macarons left, and the students typically buy four to six when they come, so you’ll be running out pretty quickly.

“Wow, these look good.” You look up immediately at that familiar voice, only to lock eyes with Seungcheol. He gives you a small smile and you reciprocate it. “Thank you. This is cotton candy flavored, and this one is chocolate with a mocha filling.” You tell him and he grins knowingly, because he damn well helped make these.

“Hm, can I have two of the cotton candy and two of the chocolate please?” Seungcheol asks you and you nod your head, grabbing a paper container and neatly placing four inside.

“That will be six dollars over at the register. There’s a sign pointing to Hyejin over there.” You tell him and he nods, looking amused at you. You hand him the container, and he makes sure to brush his hands against yours as he takes it from you. You raise your eyebrow slightly and he lets out one of his cute giggles.

“Thank you yn. I’m excited to eat these.” He tells you, giving you a big smile as he walks off towards Hyejin. He pays, laughing with your friend before making his way out the door. He gives you a small smile and a wave, and you wave back at him with a big smile on your face. Once he leaves, you take notice of the girls who followed him into the room, and they’re split between staring harshly at you or turning around to follow Seungcheol out of the room. You feel your heartbeat quicken for a moment, choosing to look down at the table and start reorganizing once again.

“Who the hell do you think you are yn?” One girl asks, and you glance up to see that it’s Jieun, the girls soccer captain in front of your table. She’s really a pretty girl, but she’s one of Seungcheol’s biggest admirers. She took part in bullying that one junior from a couple years back. She’s glaring at you, hands placed on your table.

“What do you mean?” You ask quietly, trying to keep your cool as you continue to organize your stand.

“I saw you flirting with Cheol, you know him and I have something going on, don’t you?” She asks, venom dripping from her voice. You pause, knowing that she’s lying and being delusional. You look back up at her, giving her a sweet smile.

“I wasn’t flirting with him, Jieun, I was simply selling some of my macarons. By the way, the cotton candy ones are really good-” She cuts you off by slamming her fist on the table, making you jump back and almost everyone else in the room stop to look at the both of you.

“I don’t give a fuck about your goddamn macarons. I only came in here to see what Cheol would wanna do at the stupid NHS bake sale, and he made his way right to your table without looking at the other goods. Stay away from him yn, I mean it.” She threatens, and you look around the room to see Hyejin looking at you with concern. You try and give her a look inconspicuously, and she immediately understands.

“I’m gonna have to ask you to leave Jieun.” Hyejin says as she makes her way over, arms crossed over her chest. Jieun rolls her eyes, turning and giving you one last death glare, before walking out with the rest of her friends.

You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, and Hyejin immediately pulls you into a hug. “Did she find out?” She asks you quietly and you shake your head, closing your eyes as Hyejin holds you, finding comfort in your best friend.

“No, but I think she has a feeling something’s going on.” You whisper and Hyejin lets out a sigh. She pulls away and makes you look her in the eyes, “If she continues to try and attack you, let me know.” You nod, feeling tired suddenly.

“Hi, can I have six macarons?” You and Hyejin turn your heads to see another customer staring at the both of you with tentative smiles. “That’s my cue to leave and start manning the register again! Let me know if you want me to take over, you can head home if you want.” Hyejin tells you, giving you one last hug before she walks off. You take in a deep breath, turning to look back at the student with a smile.

“Yeah of course! How many of each do you want?”

✿✿✿✿✿✿

“Do I have to go?” You ask Hyejin as you lay in your bed, frowning up at the ceiling.

“Yes! Cheol’s 4x1 relay team got first in state! You know that Jun’s parties are always really chill and fun. Plus, I don’t wanna go alone. I promise I’ll stay right beside you, I always do.” She tells you, throwing a dress over your face, blocking your view of the ceiling.

“I know… but I’m scared of Jieun hehe.” You respond and you can feel Hyejin’s anger grow at the thought of the soccer captain. “She stinks! She fucking STINKS! But she’s also part of the reason we’re going to the party tonight.”

You sit up immediately at this newfound information, removing the dress from your face and throwing it beside you. You stare at Hyejin with wide eyes, and she gives you a small smile, “Uh… surprise?”

“WHY!?!?”

“BECAUSE! I heard she’s gonna try and make a move on Cheol tonight, we have to keep watch over the skank!” Hyejin tells you, walking over to you from your closet and placing the dress back on your lap.

“Now go change into that so I can do your makeup!” You let out a loud groan, getting off your bed and obliging by Hyejin’s wishes.

partially because you wanna go to the track teams celebration party now to make sure that Jieun won’t jump your boyfriend.

✿✿✿✿✿✿

“I hate it here.” is the first thing that slips out of your mouth as soon as you and Hyejin walk in.

There’s LED lights wrapped around the living room, radiating a bright blue. There’s people grinding on each other in the middle of the living room where the main speakers are, and those that are playing beer pong to your left. You see Seungcheol and the rest of the friend group heading in the direction of the kitchen, and you raise an eyebrow at the sight of Jieun and her friends following after them.

“There they are.” Hyejin mutters, grabbing your hand and making your way through the crowd to keep a close eye on Jieun. You both enter the large kitchen, noticing the boys beginning to make a red solo cup tower. Jun is laughing loudly at Mingyu’s focused expression of trying to make the cups stand on each other at just the right position. Seungcheol is taking a sip of soju as he watches Seungkwan try and take over on making the tower.

He’s wearing a plain black t-shirt with tight ripped blue jeans. His hair is fluffy, as if it just dried from a shower. You find yourself getting too caught up in checking out your boyfriend, that you fail to notice that Soonyoung has noticed you.

“Oh! Yn and Hyejin here!” He announces, making Seungcheol immediately lookup and find you. He looks around the kitchen for a moment before locking eyes with you, and his eyes widen at your attire because sweet baby jesus.

Hyejin chose the form fitting satin dress from your closet. It’s a royal blue with pink flowers printed on it, accentuating your body. You’re wearing short heels because you can’t walk in heels for the life of you, you only have minimal makeup on. Brown eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss.

“Holy shit.” Seungcheol mutters, wanting to reach out and take you into his arms but he can’t. Minghao looks at him and lets out a small giggle, knowing that the poor guy is struggling.

“Hi guys!” You greet cheerfully, and the guys abandon their solo cup tower to give you and Hyejin a big group hug. Minghao, and Jeonghan stay beside Seungcheol to make sure those in the kitchen don’t notice that Seungcheol was the only one who didn’t hug you.

“I didn’t know you were coming.” Jun says, giving you a pat on the head. Hyejin walks over to Seungkwan and Mingyu who are back to working on the tower.

“Hyejin practically dragged me here honestly. By the way, do you have water?” You ask him and he nods, pointing over to where Seungcheol is. You notice the pack of water bottles beside Seungcheol on the counter he’s leaning on. “Nice, I’ll come help with that tower in a second.” You tell him and he chuckles.

You walk over to where Seungcheol is, and he’s staring at you over the bottle of soju he’s holding in his hands. You smirk at him and he raises an eyebrow at that. “Excuse me Seungcheol.” You tell him as you reach over to grab a water bottle.

“You look gorgeous tonight.” He mutters, so quiet that you almost didn’t catch it.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” You whisper back, turning around and facing him, giving him a smile.

What you fail to notice is Jieun glaring at your interaction with Seungcheol from the kitchen island. However, Hyejin sees it, and she walks over to you to let you know.

“Jieun is glaring at the both of you.” She says once she’s in front of the both of you, and Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek, turning away from you as soon as it’s mentioned.

“I haven’t even- I just- I didn’t-”

“She’s crazy for Cheol yn, anyone who smiles at him gets the fattest death glare she could muster.” Jeonghan tells you and Hyejin nods in agreement.

“Damn. I hate it here.” You say and you feel Seungcheol giggle at that to your left. You grin as you take a sip of water, almost spitting it out when Soonyoung accidentally knocks half of the tower over.

“You know what, I hate it here too!” Seungkwan exclaims, throwing a solo cup at Soonyoung’s head and storming out of the kitchen. You and Hyejin start laughing as Soonyoung runs after him to apologize.

✿✿✿✿✿✿

“Tell me why they think beer pong is so fun?” You ask Chan and he shrugs along with Hyejin. It’s been about an hour and the boys decided to play beer pong. Currently, it’s Seungcheol and Jeonghan against Seungkwan and Seokmin.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan are winning though, as expected.

“I don’t know, but the horny people sure are getting a show.” Chan says, taking a sip of soda as the three of you scan the room, taking notice of all the girls (and a few guys) who are practically salivating at the sight of the four handsome men playing an intense game of beer pong.

Especially Jieun, who is taking a video of Seungcheol specifically. You let out a sigh, standing up from the couch to stretch. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” You announce and they nod. You head off to the restroom, only for Seungcheol to raise his arms up in victory at getting the ball into a cup, making you take a couple steps back in shock at how close he was to hitting you.

You’re clumsy in these heels though, so you trip backwards mid-step. Seungcheol notices and his eyes widen, reaching out and wrapping his arms around you before you fall on your ass. He’s staring at you with wide eyes, asking if you’re okay, but your focus is only on the hush that fell over the beer pong audience.

“I-I’m okay Cheol. Thank you.” You say and he nods, only then realizing how quiet the room is. He stands up straight, releasing his arms from around your waist. “Of course yn.” He responds. The boys begin to make an attempt at a joke, and it makes the quietness of the crowd disappear.

You walk off in the direction of the bathroom, feeling eyes on your back. You cross your arms, walking faster. You make it to the restroom, immediately closing and locking the door. You let out a sigh, checking behind the shower curtain to make sure you didn’t walk in on anyone. You relax once you realize you’re alone in the restroom, going to the toilet so that you can finally fucking pee.

Meanwhile, Hyejin is looking around the room, trying to find Jieun, only to not find her. She lets Chan and Jun know, and the three of them start their search around the house to figure out where they went. Hyejin finds Jieun’s friends on the dance floor, but no Jieun in sight. She bites her lip, making her way to the kitchen.

You step out of the restroom after washing your hands, and you make your way back to the living room where the guys are playing beer pong. You push a strand of hair behind your ear as you step back into the living room, catching sight of your boyfriend.

Only for your vision to disappear once a cup of beer gets thrown directly into your face. You scream, covering your eyes, feeling the coldness of the alcohol seep through your dress. Seungcheol immediately turns around at the sound of your scream, eyes widening at the sight.

“What the fuck did I tell you bitch?” You hear Jieun’s harsh voice, and you tentatively uncover your eyes, blinking a few times to regain your vision. She’s literally fuming as she glares at you, crumpling the now empty solo cup in her hand.

“I didn’t do anything.” You say and she scoffs.

“Didn’t do anything? Are you that dumb? I thought you were valedictorian. It’s fucking obvious that you’re flirting with Seungcheol you fucking whore.” She seethes, grabbing a leftover bottle of soju and starting to pour it over your head, causing you to scream and grab the bottle from her hand, directing it away from you.

“The fuck?! Let go, yn!”

“No! You’re being mean for no fucking reason!” You yell, managing to get the bottle out of her grasp. You pour the rest onto the hardwood floor, rolling the bottle away once it’s empty. You look back up at her, then realize everyone is staring at you.

Seungcheol looks ready to throw Jieun away, his veins bulging from his arms. If looks could kill, Jieun would be six feet under right now. The only thing that’s holding him back is Jeonghan, who has a hand resting on his shoulder.

“For no reason?! You’re flirting with Seungcheol! The guy I have a thing with!” She yells, raising her hand up to slap you in the face, to which you grab it, stopping her in her tracks.

“You don’t have a thing with Seungcheol.” You state confidently, looking up at her with an open-mouthed smirk. She glares even harder at you, “What the fuck did you just say? Like you’d know anything outside of fucking school you kissass.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, your hold on her wrist getting tighter and she winces slightly.

“Let go of me!”

“I know you don’t have a thing with Cheol.” You say louder, glancing over at Seungcheol to see him glaring holes into the back of Jieun’s head.

“Because Seungcheol is my boyfriend.” You announce, and you hear a collective gasp from those who are watching this whole thing unfold. Jieun cocks her head to the side, finally ripping her hand out of your grip.

“No fucking way-”

“Yes fucking way you bitch. We’ve been dating for over a year now. We kept it a secret because of people like you,” You spit, poking Jieun right in the chest and she takes a step back, glaring back at you with fire in her eyes. “who think they get a say in whatever the fuck my boyfriend decides to do, and that’s not okay! He’s a fucking human being! Not your toy!” You yell, and you glance down, taking notice of her clenched fists.

“You lying whore!” Jieun raises her hand up to slap you in the face, and before you can grab her arm to stop her,

Seungcheol already has his grip around her wrist. She turns her head, seeing Seungcheol holding her back and she immediately pouts to try and win his favor.

“Cheollie! Can you tell yn she’s being delusional-”

“Are you okay baby?” Seungcheol asks you instead, concern temporarily taking over his once angry features as his eyes rake your figure to assess the damage. You hear the crowd do another collective gasp at the term of endearment.

You grab a hold of your now beer and soju soaked dress, raising up a bit of it to see the alcohol drip onto the floor. You let out a shrug, “I smell like beer and soju, and my body is sticky. It’s kinda gross.” he lets out a small smile.

“Y-you guys are actually t-together?” Jieun asks, and Seungcheol turns his attention back to her, his expression turning steely.

“Yes. We are in fact, together. And I don’t appreciate those that dare lay a hand on my girlfriend.” He says, voice dripping in anger.

“I suggest you take your friends and leave the party while I’m still being nice.” Seungcheol threatens, aggressively dropping her hand. She nods, turning around and walking away.

Seungcheol pulls you into his arms, giving you a tight, warm hug. He apologizes into your ear, rubbing your back as he hugs you tightly. He only lets go once you both hear a screech. You both turn to see Hyejin and the rest of the guys holding now empty solo cups.

“Cheol may have decided to be nice to you, but we aren’t that nice!” They yell and you let out a small chuckle.

“Don’t ever mess with our girl!” Jihoon shouts and Jieun nods frantically, running out of the house with her friends, a trail of beer droplets following after her.

“Can we go home? I need a shower.” You ask Seungcheol and he smiles, kissing your head.

“Of course baby, let’s go home.”

✿✿✿✿✿✿

“I’m kinda nervous.” You say and Seokmin gives you a look. “Why would you be nervous? We’re all here to protect you yn!”

The fifteen of you are all standing by Seungcheol’s car in the school parking lot, trying to help psych you up. It’s basically one giant group huddle where your friends make sure you feel comfortable and ready to enter the school now that you and Seungcheol’s secret is out.

“You have like five of us in your class, it’ll be okay! We got your back yn.” Jeonghan reassures you, and you nod, taking a deep breath. Seungcheol squeezes your hand, giving you a kiss on the forehead, “It’ll be okay, yn. I’ll fight anyone who tries to hurt you okay? So will the rest of the guys, especially Hyejin.”

“Hell yeah I will!”

“Alright… let’s do this.” You say determinedly, and everyone cheers. You and Seungcheol walk into the school, the rest of the guys and Hyejin right behind you. Everyone widens their eyes at this, staring specifically at you and Seungcheol’s intertwined hands. Some of the girls are glaring at you, others are smiling happily at the newfound couple of the school.

“Oh my god, the rumors are true!”

“No way…”

“They look so cute together! They’re literally the two stars of the school.”

“He can do so much bette-” Seungcheol shoots a glare at the girl, immediately making her shutdown mid-sentence and look down at the floor.

You guys joke around for a bit before you get put to a stop in front of your classroom, and Seungcheol smiles down at you.

“I’ll see you at lunch yn, stay close to the boys in class okay?” You nod your head. He rests his hand on your cheek, leaning in and pressing a sweet kiss to your lips.

“EW!!” Wonwoo yells, and you and Seungcheol jump apart, making the rest of the group laugh.

“I’m just kidding, I wanted to scare you both. We’ll save you a seat yn!” Wonwoo says with a chuckle, walking into the classroom with Hyejin, Jeonghan, Mingyu and Jihoon. The rest of the guys wave goodbye as they make their way to their own classrooms, leaving you and Seungcheol alone.

“I’ll see you at lunch Cheollie, I love you.” You tell him with a smile, and he lays a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you too, yn.”

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