#whoever sent this in thank YOU i'm sorry it's like a month late

[ilys00ga]

Exes to lovers hurt/comfort with Yoongi? Oc is going through a really hard time and one minor inconvenience sets her up to break down and yoongi finds her and they seek solace to each other because no one listens like Yoongi does. Just a moment of oc burrowing her head on his shoulder in silence and boom. Happy ending.

I GO BACK TO YOU, EVERYTIME !

pairing: yoongi x female reader.

genre: hurt/comfort, exes to lovers, post breakup, some bitter sweetness and fluff as well, yoongi is very sweet, they still love each other hahaha.

warnings: none, I think. oh some mentions of cheating. lots of crying lolol.

A/N: hello, I am SORRY for the late upload of this. I keep losing track of writing and posting 😫 but thank u sm for this <3 I hope you like it, I wasn't sure how and what to write tbh but that's what I could come up with...

I tried using "she/her" pronouns instead of "you" for some change, I hope that's fine with u!

I have one more request to make, and it'll probably be posted after a week or something:') but yeah, thanks to everyone who sent me reqs. this was so fun. remember, u can send more they are currently open! (my exams are in like one week or so lmfao)

PS. English is not my first language, so u know the drill.

the tip of yoongi's ears began to ache, and his eyes felt so heavy after several hours of sitting in front of his computer screen, wearing the same set of headphones on his head.

he rubbed his tired face with his palms and threw his head back with a loud groan. he was exhausted. this specific project he was working on consumed him the most this month.

just as he was about to resume his work, the door to his studio rang, and he huffed. the grumpy man up with slumped shoulders and a scowl ready to stare daggers at whoever decided it was just the perfect timing to interrupt his misery.

"....yoongi..." a whimper of his name made his head snap up and face the woman standing right in front of him. his eyes widened as he saw her flushed face twisted with tears running down her cheeks. visibly fresh stains of coffee covered her attire, and her hands were shaking.

swallowing, he didn't utter a word, standing there as he felt his heart pumping cold blood through his wide chest and into his entire body. it's been nearly two years since he'd last spoken to her after the messed up break-up they had.

"yoongi.." a sob shook the woman's shoulders this time as she crouched down, crying and shrinking into her own self right in front of him.

if you'd travel back two years and more ago in time, you'd see yoongi wasting no time in wrapping his arms around her body, but that sweet privilege he once had is long since gone. the she and he that once made this very beautiful thing is long since gone. she were no longer "her" and he was no longer "him". it was hard to decide whether to say "thankfully" or "unfortunately" each time yoongi recalled that gut-wrenching fact.

instead, he quickly kneeled in front of her, hesitating and contemplating before finally settling on just gently putting one of his trembling hands on her shoulder as he wasted no time in asking: "___ what's wrong? are you hurt?"

as if it was embarrassed of her commitment to silence, her head moved on its own will in a light shake of "no."

"what happened?" he repeated in a much calmer voice.

"he- he ch-cheated on m-... again- he-" her body rocked, dancing along with each sob as she struggled to speak. and when he realised that he won'tve getting a proper answer, yoongi silently–and very delicately, as though she would break if he tugged any harder on her skin–grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the studio.

after closing the door and making her sit on the couch, he asked one more time, "what happened?"

his voice never lost that soft tone, she noted, and gulped down the lump that was stuck in her throat, and after some time stuttered with a shaky voice, "I'm so sorry to bother you. i just had such a bad day, and I kind of panicked so hard and ran up here."

"what about this," he pointed at her stained clothes and frowned, "and what did you say about cheating again?"

sniffling, she sighed and rested her hair against the back of the sofa, "found out that Jaehun cheated on me multiple times, and I had a coffee accident. I didn't know where to go, so..."

yoongi stared at her silently, part of him was relieved nothing that bad had occurred to her, the other, the slightly selfish one, had the corners of its lips twitching upwards when he heard that the man he's been dreading for the past few months turned put to be a complete asshole. it was embarrassing, yes, that's why he can never admit that he's still stuck on her, that he felt as though he'd lost a chunk of himself when he knew that she was with somebody new. but he also can't complain, not after everything that happened, not after breaking it apart.

"I'm sorry you always end up with assholes." was all he said.

and a simple "by the way, it's fine, you've always been welcome here" from him was all it took to break her shell. all the self restraint she'd been pulling, all the walls she'd been shielding herself with, it all went flat to the ground, and this time her vision blurred up with hot tears, easily spilling and racing down her cheeks in a matter of seconds. finally giving up the strings she'd been clutching on for dear life.

yoongi was caught off guard, but not surprised. he pursed his lips as he extended his arm to wrap it around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him and burying her face right where it belongs, his neck.

that terribly reminded him of all the sleepless nights after heavy, long days at work they spent cuddled up so close to each other. her crying as she spilled her heart's content to him, and him listening as he rubbed on her back and kissed her head.

seeing her again, one hair away from him after long months of distance and silent, guilty glances whenever they ran into each other in the building they both worked at, was the cherry on top that poisoned cake.

he tightly hugged her, whispering sweet nothings into her hair as he buried his nose into it. he used to like doing that, feeling the tickling of her strands on his nose and the scent he sipped on like a mad man.

after a long moment, her sobs thinned into hiccups, then soft sniffles, and she dried her face up with the long sleeves of her cardigan.

"feeling better?" why is his voice always so damn soft?

she nodded with a tiny hum, slowly raising her body to pull out of the hug.

when she glanced at him, oh boy, when she did glance at him, she was met with those pair of cat eyes, all wide with pure concern. so intense that she quickly averted hers as heat spread through her face and neck.

"I'm fine.." she whispered with a voice hoarse from all the crying.

"you reek of coffee." yoongi joked in an attempt to brighten the mood, smiling as he offered her a package of wet wipes.

"thanks." the woman's lips slowly pushed into a small pout, and she muttered, "I'm sorry for bothering you with my crying."

"don't worry about that, i kind of missed this anyway."

"you miss seeing me cry?" she mused.

"no, I just... it's been so long..."

neither of them said anything for a while, falling into some kind of silence. strangely, there was no awkwardness in it, just hundreds of heavily unspoken confessions and things hanging in the air, all mixed with burning yearning for one another.

"I missed you.." she whispered in a hushed tone, "I thought I would never get to talk to you again."

"i hope you're joking." he replied, "because I don't think you being serious would make it hurt any less."

"I'm sorry that we fought." she apologized.

"I'm sorry, I was an asshole too." yoongi licked his lips, a pinch of fear ached his heart all of a sudden, but he added anyway with a small voice, "do you... do you wanna meet up tomorrow? we could grab some dinner and just... talk."

"alright" she smiled.

"good. I'll call you in the morning, then. good?" yoongi felt as though his heart would jump out of his rib cage and run out of the studio from how overwhelming the whole situation was, if it weren't for her reassuring smile that made it all so much easier to handle.

"good." she replied.

"that was so easy...why didn't we do this earlier?" he covered his burning face with his hands and chuckled.

"we were just too dumb to think back then."

"yeah, we were." he nodded.

and for the first time ever since the pair cut all sorts of communication between each other, yoongi looked directly into her eyes with pure gratitude and smiled.

they ended up meeting up more often than they intended to, slowly patching up the abandoned wounds they once scarred into the body of their broken relationship.

one dinner birthed two and three more, surface-level chitchat of updates about each other's lives turned into deeper dives into the ups and downs, the wrongs and rights of everything they have shared between each other before. where everything shattered into pieces before their own eyes.

it all went slow and steady, like the first time they met a few years ago, like the very beginning of what they once had. it was scary, uncertain, and a sensitive area overall for the two, yet they were still willing to take that road again.

like a wicked witch, miscommunication casted a spell of pain, sourness, and yearning on the pair.

and now that their priorities have changed, maybe there's still a chance for them to break that spell and work it out again.

- fin..

#yoongi #bts #yoongi scenarios #yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #bts scenarios #agustd #yoongi angst #hurt/comfort #bts imagines #bts fic #bts army #bts yoongi #yoongi imagine #suga fluff #suga angst #bts x reader

[ghostphobic]

t-thinking about... kissing your "friend" surfer!abby's shoulder under the sun? sitting next to each other, facing the sea, her skin that tastes like sunscreen and salty water ❤️‍🩹

this is, once again, sooo late and im so so sorry to whoever sent this skmfkg.. im still trying to get back into my writing groove, but i'm slowly getting there and have a few things planned i promiseee. ANYWAYS anon you are sooo brilliant for this. for this sort of situation i think surfer!abby and reader have very long and established friendship. i think they'd have a generally very touchy feely and kinda flirty relationship until someone really decides to make the first move. i hope i do your idea justice and thank you for sending it!

nights spent the beach with abby aren't even remotely uncommon. in fact, it had become a bit of a weekly thing. you'd decide on a night when you were both free and sit on the beach for hours just talking. sometimes you would pack a picnic or grab food on the way, but most of the time you were lucky to just sit and be with each other.

when abby picks you up for your planned beach 'date', something you had started calling it a few months ago just to hear her annoyed groan and brief lack of eye contact with you, she seems... nervous? she's bouncing her thigh up and down and biting one of her nails— a habit you've been trying to get her to break for years.

"are you okay, abs?" you ask when you get into her car, slight worry lacing your voice.

she holds her hand up and waves you off, "i'm fantastic." she clears her throat and turns to look at you. "now let's go. i don't have all day."

you settle yourself on the shore as abby takes off into the still water for a quick swim. the plush blanket that she brought is soft beneath your legs and there's a smile on your face as you watch her. she's so in her element here, so at peace, and you feel the same way watching her.

she finally makes her way back towards you after a few minutes, smiling at you before shaking her wet hair at you.

"abigail!" you exclaim, covering your face until she stops. "god, you're like a child." you say, though there's no true annoyance in your voice.

she doesn't say anything, just laughs as she grabs a towel to quickly dry herself off with before sitting down next to you.

her laughing fades into a comfortable silence, and you feel an overwhelming sense of contentment in this moment. every so often you can feel water drop from her hair and onto your shoulder. you can smell her sunscreen, the one she's been using for as long as you can remember, and feel the warmth of her skin against yours.

the feeling is so... good and so strong you feel as though you could cry. you turn to look at her and feel your heart start to pound just a little bit harder.

her head is tilted up towards the sky and her eyes are closed, likely enjoying the feeling of the breeze. the moon is bright and you can see her face so clearly. her freckles are so prominent due to immense amounts of time spent in the sun and her lips are fixed in a slight pout. you're sure she's unaware of it, but you've always noticed it and never pointed it out because it's something you love about her.

likely feeling your eyes on her, she opens hers and turns to look at you. her brows furrowing, "what? do i have something on my face?"

you don't say anything, eyes scanning her face before you reach to place your hand against her cheek. she sucks in a quick breath, suddenly seeming to register what you're going to do.

it takes you about two seconds to gather the courage, and another to silently make sure she's okay with it, before you press your lips to hers. it's quick at first, something just a little bit longer than a peck, before you pull back. she doesn't say anything at first and you're afraid you've crossed a line, until she reaches for you and presses her lips to yours again.

her hand is against the side of your neck, and her thumb is pressed against your jaw. the kiss lasts much longer this time around, and slightly more urgent as well. warmth blooms in your chest as your hand tangles itself in her damp hair, and you're hyperaware of how her lips feel against yours. they're soft aside from one spot on her bottom lip that she has a habit of nervously biting, and you can taste the tropical gum she'd been chewing in the car.

she pulls back first, albeit reluctantly, and you both look at each other silently for a second before you both grin.

"see?" you say, hand reaching up to brush her hair behind her ear, "i told you these were dates."

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #abby anderson x you #abby anderson / reader #abby anderson ff #abby the last of us #anon ask #surfer!abby

[sunny6677]

Spooky Month: The Dating Sim

Part 19

(I'm mainly just doing this because it's fun to watch, but this is basically a spooky month interactive thing/poll which is kinda like a dating sim. Of course, only the adult characters can be your love interests. So do take that in mind.)

————

You offered to babysit her son.

"..wh—what? Are.. are you serious?" She asked, her tone raising as if she hadn't expected that answer. Her tone then began to shimmer with a radiant happiness you hadn't expected to her from her voice, and through the receiver, it streamed out a light you could tell was that of happiness. "You—you dont have to—"

You said that it was no problem, and that if it would help her feel better, you'd do it. You said that you did mind helping her because she seemed like a good lady, and her son seemed like a good kid even if you barely knew him.

It was quiet for a moment. She then began to talk rather loudly through the receiver, causing you to snap your head a few inches back from the phone. "Th—Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me. Are you sure you don't mind babysitting him for me?" You found yourself smiling at how excited she seemed, and quickly inched your ear back closer to the phone.

You said that once again, you didn't mind.

Lila let out a soft chuckle. "Thank you.. I don't really think I've met someone as nice as you before."

You said that it was no problem, though you sweated a little from the compliment.

"Do you think you could babysit him tomorrow for a bit until I get back home? Don't worry. I'll try and get back from work as soon as I can tomorrow so you aren't looking after him too long." Lila said. You could practically hear her smile through the receiver of the phone.

Despite the anxiety that came with babysitting a kid, you said that you could since you didn't really have anything to do anyway.

"Heheh.. great! Th—" Lila suddenly paused. You could hear the sound of a high pitched voice saying something in the background. You could then hear Lila's voice speaking as well to whoever it was, but you couldn't exactly make out what it was that she was saying.

Her voice then finally spoke, "Sorry.. I think I'm gonna have to go to bed soon. And I need to put my son to bed. Do you think we could talk some more tomorrow? I'll send you my address so you know where to go by the way." Lila added in her usual voice of optimism.

You replied that you didn't mind talking with her tomorrow. And you then thanked her for saying that she'd send you her address.

She let out a sigh, but you could still somehow tell that she was smiling. "Well.. alright. Good night. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

In return, you nodded and said good night back.

The phone then clicked, and immediately, you could tell that she had hung up. You let out a sigh. Babysitting Lila's kid.. the thought didn't seem so bad. If she needed help with her stress, and if that was what would help her, you didn't mind. You couldn't help but wonder how it would be like when you talked with her son though, and when you looked after him.

You received a text from her. It seemed to just be listing her address. You'd see where it was later, though you didn't want to leave her off on an impolite note. So you sent a message basically thanking her again for sending her adress.

You sighed once more. It was dark out, but it wasn't too late yet.. the town was still awake, and there were even cars still driving by outside. You assumed Lila most likely just went to bed early because of her work, or you just assumed she put her son to bed early.

You couldn't help but ponder Kevin and Radford though, the two men who you had first interacted with when you came to the town.. perhaps you could pay one of them a late visit? At the same time though, it was pretty late. And you were beginning to feel a natural sensation of drowsiness setting within you.

#spooky month #spooky month: the dating sim #lila spooky month

[wonusite]

THAT ANON'S FANTASY AU ASK WAS SO GOOD IT GAVE ME AN IDEA (cw: angst but more hurt/comfort also pregnancy) 💡 what if lover!svt gets dispatched on a dangerous mission/to fight and a month or two after, there's news that your lover has gone missing and everyone has assumed the worst BUT just a few days before you received this information, you discovered you're pregnant *cue immense angst* more months pass and you're walking around the castle grounds until you come across a familiar figure—albeit bruised, dirty and disheveled but still in one piece, but you could recognize him anywhere. you run to each other and meet halfway but it isn't until he pulls away, puts his hands on your waist that he feels your baby bump. he looks back at you in shock and you drop the news and now you're both crying tears of joy 🥹🥹🥹 AND IMAGINE HIM KNEELING DOWN TO HUG YOUR STOMACH AND START WHISPERING TO IT LIKE "i'm sorry papa is late to meet you... but i'm here now and i'm not leaving you again. thank you for keeping your mama company while i was away." a family is reunited. the end ✨️

and imagine the reunion sex where it's a mix of passionate and intense bc you haven't seen each other in months and you didn't even know if he was okay but also gentle and soft bc you love each other and you're pregnant 💔

WHOEVER SENT THIS IN IS AN ACTUAL MENACE LIKE WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME THIS WAY 😭

#crying screaming throwing up #never recovering from this #nonny

[iamkidfish]

Would you be at all interested in writing a prompt based off a quote? I've been reading On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous and got destroyed by the line "sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you’ve been ruined". I feel like it's a line that works for both Leah and Fatin, and I would love to read your interpretation of it!

have a little angst this morning

Read on ao3!

It shouldn’t be a big deal. 50 days on the island. 50 days of fighting for their lives against the elements, against each other, against themselves. 

It shouldn’t be a big deal, except it is. 

50 days pass for eight girls barely surviving on an island when there should be nine.

There’s a choked sob, like someone is trying to muffle the sound, and then another and Leah wakes to the sound of Fatin crying. It surprises her more than it should, Fatin crying. She hasn’t seen Fatin cry, not at school, not on the first day, not when Fatin held Leah in her arms on the beach, not even after Nora pulled Rachel’s unconscious body from the ocean, her bloodied arm looking like it got sent through a wood chipper.

She turns over, trying to look for Fatin’s body by the shine of the moonlight. As the weeks went by, they all started sleeping closer and closer together, kind of like a group of seals on a dock, so it’s impossible to discern Fatin from the others. Shelby’s blonde hair catches Leah’s eye and she focuses in, noticing how Shelby’s left hand is gently curled around the inside of Toni’s elbow. Leah smiles, in spite of herself.

Past Shelby, Martha and Dot are curled together, with Dot lying on her back, mouth open, and Martha tucked into her side. Near them, Nora and Rachel are wrapped up so tightly Leah can’t really determine who’s body is who’s. They’ve slept like that ever since the accident and every time Leah looks at Rachel her eyes can’t help but slide down her arm to what’s left of her wrist. It’s mostly a mangled stump, but considering the limited supplies, it looks at least stable. Rachel’s been highly medicated most everyday and every few hours Dot pours their quickly depleting supply of vodka on it. 

A noise behind her makes Leah turn around. She maneuvers around their campsite, the best she can in the dark, stepping over water bottles, pieces of driftwood, even Martha’s suitcase, before she reaches Fatin. 

She’s curled tightly, more like a ball than the fetal position, and away from Leah so she can’t see her face. It’s not particularly cold out, but Fatin’s shaking. 

Leah drops to her knees, hands hovering over Fatin’s side, unsure if she can touch, then switches direction to lie behind Fatin. She tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach, the ones that have been there since around day 29, as they try to flutter awake. For a second, Leah pauses before wrapping her arms around Fatin. The other girl doesn’t protest at the contact, but she also doesn’t acknowledge or lean into it, just continues shivering.

It’s hard but she tries not to notice how well their bodies fit together. They’ve slept close together before (Fatin actually has been insistent about Leah sleeping near her ever since “Leah’s second Virginia Woolf moment” as Rachel dubbed it accordingly), but never this close, with her front pressed up against Fatin’s back. They’re basically spooning. 

As if she heard Leah’s thoughts, Fatin mumbles, “I’m the little spoon. God, how embarrassing.”

She lets out a pained laugh and Leah freezes. She wasn’t expecting for Fatin to react, let directly acknowledge what’s happening. 

“Don’t tell me you haven’t spooned someone before, Rilke,” Fatin’s voice cracks but still manages to have her signature teasing lilt. 

“Of course I have,” Leah says into Fatin’s shoulder, her face heating up against her will. Thank God, Fatin isn’t looking at her.

“Well then you know you have to commit,” Fatin says, moving Leah’s arm so it’s curled against Fatin’s stomach. Leah counts to 100 by 7’s twice to resist the urge of flexing her fingers against Fatin’s skin. Not the time.

Her brain blurts out the first thing she thinks of, “Ironic, how you’re talking to me about commitment.”

(Smooth Leah, real smooth)

Fatin doesn’t respond to her stupid ass comment, doesn’t talk for a long time. She is not crying as much, at least not that Leah can hear, the tears could still be falling down her face silently, she reminds herself.

“You know, my dad didn’t let me say goodbye to my brothers,” Fatin finally says. “At the airport. Didn’t even let them come, they had to stay home with my mom. He said they had ‘too much homework’ which was bullshit. School was almost over by the end of May. I knew he just didn’t want me to see them and now…”

Fatin takes a shuddering breath and dissolves into fresh sobs.

“It’s been fifty days and...and I don’t know if I’m ever going to see them again,” she hiccups. 

“Fatin you don’t…” but the reassurance dies in Leah’s throat. After fifty days, dying on the island seems like a very real possibility, as real of a possibility when Leah was losing her mind over the realization and tried to run into the ocean a month ago, maybe even more so now, with their collective fear growing each day about how purposeful everything feels, how a group of (seemingly) random strangers arbitrarily came to be stuck on an island, depending on each other. The day they saw the plane fly over doesn’t even register in Leah’s mind as significant anymore, just another circumstance on her list proving that something is fucking wrong. 

It hits her, Leah’s bad at this. Being there for someone, let alone comforting them. It feels alien to her, as much as her cell phone or Ian, a thousand miles away, desperately insignificant to her, to what’s on this island. Honestly, she can’t remember the last time she’s touched someone like this before the island, especially someone she cares about. Leah was never a particularly touchy kid but after him, when she started to flinch at her mother’s touch or shunned away from her father’s hugs, her tolerance for physical contact plummeted, pretty much becoming nonexistent. 

The feeling rises from her chest into her throat like bile and Leah becomes acutely aware of how her body is positioned, how she’s holding Fatin, just like how he held her: from behind, chin tucked into shoulder, arms snaking around her waist. She always found it comforting but now, in the haze of the memory, she wonders if he did that to keep her in place, to hold her down. Leah stiffens, she can’t help it, as the pressing, suffocating feeling settles again over her body.

But Fatin isn’t him, and neither is she. Leah knows that, knows it in the way Fatin’s hair smells like pears and sand and salt, knows it in the spaces that she's hesitant and timid, Fatin is unselfishly bold, knows it by the way Fatin’s fingers never rest, even now tapping out a slow melody on her arm, knows it because Fatin’s been there for her since the plane crash (well, close enough), holding her and crying with her, and a tiny, persistent voice in the back of Leah’s head whispers loving— 

Still, Leah gently extracts her hands from around Fatin’s waist and tugs on her shoulders until Fatin is turning over to face her.

“You will. We will get back home, we have to.”

Maybe it’s the darkness that makes her bold, but Leah leans forward, just enough, to brush her lips against Fatin’s forehead. She tries to ignore the hitch in her chest or the memory of Fatin doing the same to her after she ran into the ocean, thinking Leah was still knocked out from the pills instead of just dozing.

“You probably just got sand in your mouth, dummy,” the weight of the insult is weakened by the way Fatin’s voice breaks.

“I don’t care,” and Leah doesn’t. She has more important things to think/worry about than a few grains of sand, like keeping everyone she knows alive, keeping herself mostly sane, and not screwing up and saying something incredibly stupid in front of this girl she’s holding in her arms.

Fatin sucks in a breath and maybe, just maybe, thanks to the light from the full moon above them, Leah sees Fatin’s lips quiver. It takes her a second to look back up at Fatin and the other girl is already looking at her, the air thick with tension, thick with an unspoken something. 

Leah’s nose tickles as Fatin nudges it ever so slightly with her own. It feels like an invitation and maybe in another life without deserted islands and broken girls Leah would understand and kiss Fatin until they’re both breathless, but she looks at Fatin again, still with tears on her face, and wonders if Fatin expects it because that’s all she’s ever known: people using her body for their own motivations. And it’s not that Leah doesn’t want to kiss her, because God, she does, but she wants to do it right, and wants it to last this time. 

She leans in because she can’t completely resist the hedonistic (self-destructive) pull in her stomach, the curiosity of how Fatin’s skin feels against her lips, and presses her lips into the corner of Fatin’s cheek, just close enough to her mouth to say I want this too, but not now. Leah knows she’s lingering, but the mix of perfume and salt is almost addictive and it just feels so fucking good to touch someone, knowing Fatin won’t break. (Is it because they’re both broken already, who knows?)

Leah pulls back and Fatin’s looking at her with more tears streaking silently down her cheeks, but Leah’s pretty sure she understands. 

She wipes a tear from the side of Fatin’s eye and maybe, she thinks for a moment Fatin is going to make a comment about messing up her mascara, but then thinks better of it, because this moment, where they’re both staring into each others eyes under the moonlight on an empty beach feels too heavy for any words.

Instead, Fatin just tucks her face into the crook in Leah’s collarbone and shudders and shakes with silently sobs, but Leah holds her, all through the night, even when she’s too exhausted to open her eyes anymore, and falls asleep too. 

Thankfully, when Dot finds them in the morning still curled into each other, she waits until they walk back to camp with the others before nodding and passing a water bottle to Fatin. 

#the wilds #the wilds!fic #leah rilke #fatin jadmani #leah x fatin #leatin #leatin fic #leatin breakdown hours #my brain decided to finally finish this prompt and i absolutely love it <33 #whoever sent this in thank YOU i'm sorry it's like a month late #the void

[queenoftheworldisdead]

Help wanted

Summery: Boarding house with the occasional unwanted tenant.

Note: I don’t think Arvin is dark in this, but it might be for other people.

Warning: non-con/dub con, dark theme, choking, slight spanking, cream pie

Grey Arvin Russell x Reader; Dark Lee Bodecker x Reader

🛎

The bell rung on the door of your boarding house. Drying your hands with a dish rag you got yourself ready to meet whoever it was coming through the door. When you crossed through the archway you were shocked still.

He had a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, his clothes looked all greased up, the hat that hid a thick tuft of hair peaked out looked like it had seen better days.

His type weren't known for being on this side of town so you figured he was either new to town or looking for someone.

You welcomed him with a soft smile and gave your name.

"How can I help you today sir?"

"Hello Ma'am." He said politely, tipping his hat slightly at you. His thick country twang confirming the former. "I saw the help wanted sign out side. Y'all still hiring?"

"Um..Y-yeah... I need a handy man, job includes free room, and board, but I won't just hire anybody though. There is a washer in the basement, if you fix one of them the jobs yours."

🛎

Waddling to the basement with your Daddy's old toolbox, the heavy rusty thing knocked at your knees each step. He jogged over to you, taking the kit from your grasp and you thank him for it.

"The left one broke down a month ago and the other I'm guessing couldn't handle the over use. Dryers work just fine though."

Before he could reply you heard the door bell ring again. You excused yourself and left him to work.

"I'm coming, just a minute!" You shout down the hall as you hurried.

🛎

"Sorry it took so long."

"Saul right Ma'am" he said rising from the floor. You watched from the door as he twisted a dial. The hum of the machine filled the growing awkward silence.

"Well aren't you something! I guess that means your hired."

He lifted his hat to smooth back stray strands of hair, his shy smile hid as he looked down to the floor.

🛎

"Your room's on the third floor. Has a bed and a little sitting place. It's really small just enough room to lay your head really." The sound of foot-steps coming down the stairs halted you. Your eyes watch their back disappear into the night, until he cleared his throat bringing your attention back.

"That'll do just fine Ma'am." Something about his southern accent made your heart flutter. He picked up his duffel, throwing the strap over his shoulder as you dug out your ledger.

"Just down there is the supper table. I cook breakfast and dinner. You can eat in your room if you like, a lot of them do."  You explained as you watch him sign the book. Arvin Russell it read.

He adjusted his strap as you talked, his deep brown eyes made it hard for you to keep his gaze, making you fidget nervously in place. "Most folks are gone during the day so I don't make lunch, but if you like no problem just give me a holler. Bath rooms are at the end of each hall."

Digging in your desk you find the master keys and a list of things that needed to be fixed. His fingers grazed yours lightly in the transfer, Arvin's touch sent a ripple of heat up to your face. He flipped through the wrinkled papers, scanning over the chores with a wrinkled brow.

"S-sorry to put so much on you, but when my daddy got sick things got out of hand and I never been one for fixing things."

"No problem Ma'am."

🛎

During the day you kept busy. Scrubbing windows and mopping the halls of each floor. Arvin crossed paths with you on occasion. Gently brushing past you with his tools as he headed to his next assignment.

The door to Odis', one of the tents, room was left wide open when you walked by. Curious you glanced in, catching sight of Arvin lifting his shirt. Your legs stop moving as you watched him wipe away beads of sweat from his brow with the hem. You couldn't stop yourself from ogling his well toned exposed stomach.

The clanking of the dust pan hitting the floor caught his attention. Your face burn with embarrassment when he found you standing outside the room. Panicked you quickly picked up the pan and rushed off to the ground floor.

🛎

You heard Arvin call your name. "Yeah?" You replied weakly still embarrassed.

*Relax he isn't thinking about you. Probably just thinks your a clumsy dits.

He came halfway down the stairs, looking down at you from the banister. "You got a minute? I need a little help" he asked politely.

"Oh sure... Uh sure" you reply looking up at him. Arvin abandoned his cap, his dark hair sticking to his forehead, curling from sweat. More sweat pooled on his shirt, the dampness helped stick the fabric to his lean figure.

Following him up the stairs he led you to a room on the third floor. In the corner of the room there was a large metal pipe leaning against the wall.

You watched as Arvin lifted the heavy pipe, angling it vertically in position.

"Can you hold this?" he called over his shoulder.

Walking over you grabbed it and Arvin moved to get behind you. He took your hands and placed them along the pipe as you steadied yourself to hold it still while it slightly wobbled.

"OK hold still just like that." He bent over beside you, digging into the tool box that rested on the floor. When he rose, Arvin stayed close behind you. You could feel the heat coming off him, he smelled like sweat and after shave. Your hands felt sweaty as you felt rattled a bit by his closeness.

The pipe shifted a bit, you tried nudging it slightly, but couldn't get it back in place.

"Stay steady" his breath tickled your ear, you gasped making him chuckle lightly. "Just like that" he moved the pipe back into place, pushing into your butt when he stepped closer. "Just hold right... here." He placed a hand on your hip and you tensed. His fingers lightly squeezed your softness. You had to fight hard to bring your mind out of the gutter, he just needed your help, nothing more, the spot between your thighs thought otherwise.

With his arms raised above you, Arvin tightened the nuts to secure the metal tube. You swallowed thickly when you heard him grunt as he forced the wrench to move. Looking over to your right you spied his exposed arms. His muscle flexing as he moved.

"Almost done" he said to you, pushing you almost flush to the steel, bumping you gently with each twist of the wrench. You only nod, unable to conjure words to speak properly. Through the cheap fabric of your dress you felt something hard poke at you through his jeans.

*Stomp it now get your mind out of the gutter.

You don't know what had gotten into you lately. First staring at him like a creeper now thinking about his manhood. Maybe its about time you started going back to church you thought to yourself. Cause right now it felt like the devil was leading you to temptation.

When Arvin stepped back you had to choke down a whimper from the loss of his feel. Pressing your lips together you prayed he aint hear you.

Tapping a hand on your shoulder you turn to look at him. "All done." He smiled at you, your hands release the pipe and you backed away.

"Thanks Ma'am."

"You're welcome Arvin" You smiled shyly then rushed off back to your desk.

🛎

No matter how hard your days were the nights were by far the worst. Lying in bed you felt the mattress dip. The fear of the impending figure behind you prickled your skin.

Your eyes squeezed tightly shut as you tried to force yourself to sleep. Holding your breath in a dumb attempt to force yourself to pass out. The blanket covering you pulled away and you felt water fall from your closed eyes.

🛎

Propping your head on your hands you leaned on your desk. Your eyes drooped as you zoned out, looking into space.

"You alright Ma'am?" Arvin startled you as he walked down the stairs.

"I couldn't sleep." You stand up and stretch, yawning a bit. He walked closer to your desk, dressed in his work pants shirt.

"Try some warm milk. Used to help me." He passed by your desk, walking down the hall with tool kit in had to the washers. The old machines acting up again since last time he fixed them.

"Oh Arvin" you shouted at him before he passed through the door. "Um.. can I add something to your list. No worries if you can't get it done today, but I would much appreciate it if you could."

Placing the box down by the laundry door he walked back over, digging the sheet from his back pocket. You grabbed a pen hopeful it was a task he wouldn't mind sorting right away.

"If you can't fix the lock today no problem. I will just go sleep in the attic." You spoke casually as he slipped you the paper to write on. He read over your assignment and you watched as his lips made a hard line.

"I locked myself out of my room, didn't want to wake you to get the spare, sorry. Now I done made more work for you" you laughed, but their was no humor in it. His features softened and you hoped he wouldn't press the issue.

Pushing the paper back to him, you bid him a due and turn to face away to pretend to make a call. When you heard him walk away you let out a breath.

🛎

Arvin was a saint among men. You don't know where he found the money, but he added a chain lock to your door. You smiled at the shiny gold. Sliding on the chain and the bottom lock you prepared for bed.

Laying in bed the thought of the extra lock helped sooth your nerve as you slipped into sleep.

You felt an uncomfortable lump at your back rousing you awake. Your eyes shot open and a hand covered your mouth before you could scream out.

"You think your smart, putting that chain on that door" the beer on his breath hit your nose. Your tears soaked his hand as he held you.

You shake your head 'no' repeatedly in reply. He was still dressed in his work clothes as he laid next to you. The sound of his belt jingling made the tears fall harder.

"I told your daddy I would look out for you. How am I gonna do that if you lock the door?"

Lee, a local cop, only came around when his wife was either on the mends or she just flat out kicked him out. Your father had offered the man a free bed whenever he needed. His way of thanking him for keeping the neighborhood safe.

Lee pushed up your night gown and tsked when he felt your panties. The hand on your mouth slipped down your neck and you blubbered out your apologizes. He hated panties, too much work he called it. "What I told you about these?" he grumbled, forcing the fabric down.

"I-i'm sorry I thought my monthlies were coming on." You sniffed. You tried hard not to cry, you just hopped he would squeeze hard enough to make you pass out.

You heard him spit in his hand, he bumped into your back as he lubed himself up. You yelped when he smacked your ass hard, the sudden sting of pain loosening your locked legs.

"Yea you said that last week. I aint forget girl." He shoved himself inside after he found your opening. "Fucking bitch. I run the house gawd damn it!" Lee was mad at his wife agin. What ever his spite with her, you were paying for it. "Not gonna tell me what to do. Fucking bitch." He growled, panting heavily as he pumped.

You jolted with each thrust, no matter how many times Lee did it, it never got easier.

"Please." You panted desperately. "Please don't come in me" you choked out, his hand tightening his grip around your throat. You had been lucky so far, but you knew it was only a matter of time before your luck ran out.

Lee didn't like back talk, this was his show and you were just here for the ride. Pushing you completely flat you grip the fabric of the sheets. Lifting your ass as he rose to his knees he fucked into you harder. You cried out unable to adjust to his lengthen. He chuckled darkly at your pain, slamming into you repeatedly with a punishing rhythm.

He cursed your name. Reminded you of your place as he came deep in you. His seed filling your cunt as you pressed your head into the mattress and cried.

He slipped out of the bed. His pants once again jingling as he fixed himself up and headed out the door.

🛎

It was that time of the month again.

Whenever he shouted he spit. It was disgusting. You had given him chance after chance, but he used them all. "I'm sorry Tommy if you don't have the rent by Thursday you are going to have to leave."

"Fuck you bitch you let that boy stay here rent free!"  He shouted. Trying to make sure tent knew.

"He works here. He earns he keep."

"Then let me earn mine? or give me another week." He barked. His tone more of a demand than a request.

Sighing you hung your head low. Rubbing your temple with one hand you hugged your stomach with the other. First of the month was the worst. Tents ducked and dodged. Begged and pleaded or straight up demand just to not pay rent.

"Next Friday Tommy... That's the last time you hear me." You try to sound strong, but you knew he didn't give a shit as long as he won. "If you aint got it then, then I'm changing the locks and putting your stuff on the street."

He slammed his door in your face and you turned on your heels headed to the next delinquent.

"You alright Ma'am?" Straight ahead, Arvin poked out from the bathroom. You had to fight yourself from looking down at his lower half. In your peripheral you could see he was just in a towel that hung around his waist.

His wet hair seemed to curl under the towel on his head. Strands sticking to his forehead, his face still damp from the shower.

"Umm yeah. Uh just rents due and folks get a little uppity around this time of the month." You dry chuckle turning your eyes up at the ceiling. Fighting yourself from venturing further.

You couldn't tell if it was the steam that came from the bathroom or you. Whenever he was close, your body would react. The heat would turn up making you sweat.

"Well alright then. You have a good night Ma'am."

🛎

*Bang Bang Bang

"Tommy!" You bang again. "Tommy! I will give you to the count of three. If you don't open this door and pay up. I am coming in and kicking you out!" You huffed tapping a foot.

"Ma'am?"

"Morning Arvin. Sorry did I wake you?"

"No was working down the hall."

"Tommy, skipped out on rent I think." Taking a deep breath you lifted your master key ring and unlocked the door. When you peered inside the room was a mess, no sign of Tommy.

Arvin followed you in side, with a hand on your hip you groaned. The amount of clean up you would have to do to ready it for a new tenant would take all day.

"Arvin can you change the lock on the door. I hate doing this, but I gotta kick him out"

"Sure thing ma'am"

As you turn to leave you over at Arvin who was still assessing the damage to the room. "Oh and can you possibly stay close. If he comes around I might need your help."

Arvin only nodded in response as you took your leave.

🛎

Tommy didn't come back that day or the next. Putting up a sign you thought that you could clean up the room a bit, before the weekend. With the storm you figured not to many people would be coming around anyway.

Taking up a few boxes you get to tossing. One box you would keep in the addict. Somethings were just to hard to throw away sometimes, but a good chunk would go.

Thunder bashed down filling the room with a blinding white light. You yelped loudly bringing the sound of feet rushing down your way.

"You alright Ma'am?" Arvin looked in the room worried.

"Sorry Arvin, it’s just the storm. Lightening makes me a bit skittish sorry." You apologize as you get back to clearing the room.

"Well I am finished with my list for today, would you mind if I trouble you for some company?"

"U-um sure" you tried to fight off the smile.

His lips curled as he walked in the room. The instant he crossed the door frame you heard shouting coming from down stairs. When the voice made itself more clear you frowned.

"Oh uh sorry.. I need to tend to that" you say softly. With your head low you walked past him.

🛎

Lee was wet and agitated. "Fucking bitch had the nerve to accuse me of drinking again." He spat while you sat waiting on the bed. "I aint touch a drop today" he said smugly.

You looked at your feet as he undressed in front of you. The sound of a siren blared loudly from out side, Lee turned and squinted at the sound. "Shit!" He stopped undressing and ran out.

Getting up from the bed you grabbed your robe and peered out the hall. The front door was open and Lee wasn't there. The rain still coming down hard, blew in through the open door so you walked bare foot to close it and see if he had really gone. His car was gone that was for sure and as you looked into the rain it seemed he had disappeared too. You exhaled in relief, backed away and closed the entrance.

"Ma'am?" Arvin called to you out of breath.

"Shit!" You gasped, turning to face him. Your heart bashed in your chest as you stared at him crazily. He was soaked to the bone. "Your gonna catch a cold walking around like that" you scolded tightening your robe.

"Do you have any clean towels?" You asked, but you turn back to look at the door. Hoping that Lee wouldn't suddenly comeback.

"I think so.. I know I need to do laundry, not too good at it so I've been holding it off."

"Well, I don't normally do this, but if you like I can mix yours with mine. I don't have enough clothes to justify using all that water anyway."you shrugged.

"I don't want to put you out" he stepped closer to you. "The way his clothes clung to him you had to try hard not to stare.

"N-no trouble. Um wait here I'll give you a towel just in case." You leave him and head back into your room. Digging in your cabinet for the towels. When you turned around again Arvin stood in your living room, looking around your meager abode. "I know it aint much, but at least I got my own bathroom" you chuckled.

When he stepped closer and you had to hold yourself together. Arvin dragged his teeth over his bottom lip while his eyes fell to the opening in your rope.

"S-sorry" your face felt on fire, embarrassed you looked down to your feet. You held out the towel and closed the robe with the other. Arvin’s hand lifted your chin and your eyes went wild.

His lips felt so soft. You just wanted to kiss them all day. Arvin's arms wrapped around your waist and you wanted to melt into him.

Arvin turned you around and backed you up until you both fell backwards onto the bed. Arvin rested comfortably between your thighs while his manhood pressed on your mound. You didn’t know if it were his jeans or your nature making you go wet, but either way you welcomed it.

You gasped when he sucked on your neck, kissing the spot after pulling off. Arvin ground his hips into you making the warmth between your legs soak with desperation.

Holding himself above you, you forced yourself to finally look back at him without shying away. He smirked down at you as he peeled off his top, the wet garment hit the floor hard. His muscles moved and tightened as he freed his shaft. Biting your bottom lips you hummed when he rubbed the tip hard against your slit then lining himself up. Arvin pressed his weight down as he pushed inside slowly. You moaned his name at his fullness. The bed frame squeaked as he rocked.

Kissing you again swallowing your moans, you wrap your legs around his back urging him deeper. Ever the gentleman he obliged.

🛎

*Bang Bang Bang

The furious jiggling and banging was most definitely Lee. You were surprised he hadn't popped the lock as usual, but it was only a matter of time before he got through.

Arvin must not have noticed so you slapped his chest. Pushing him off, but he wouldn't stop. Instead kissing you again as you tried to speak.

"Arvin please, that's Lee... he's.. cop" you spoke on his lips, but your words meant nothing.

Arvin's eye were darkened with lust. You tried to spin away, but he hooked your legs keeping you there, fucking you with his slow pace. He was splitting your mind in two. You wanted to cum so desperately, but your reason told you that Lee wouldn't take kindly to this.

Arvin continued to rock into you as Lee screamed at the door.  Your back arched when Arvin took your nipple in his mouth.

"That's it. That's my girl. Come for me." He mumbled over your nipple. Licking the areola and sucking it again, you came around him, squeezing his cock making him hum with approval.

The banging on your bedroom wall brought your high down fast. "I will shoot through this gawd damn wall if you don't let me in!" Lee threatened. You looked at Arvin with panic in your eye. Arvin kissed you gently again as Lee screamed on. You were terrified, you hoped you could explain Arvin's presence away as a maintenance emergency, but before you could properly forma a though he pulled up his pants as you fixed yourself. Arvin didn't stop or look back as you called out to him. Paying you no mind as he opened the door and walked out.

The sound in the hall was so loud you thought lightening had broke through the roof. You rushed out of your room and found Lee out cold, with a pool growing around his perimeter. You looked at Arvin, the young man unconcerned as he began dragging the cop into your room by his feet.

"Get a bucket and a mop" he commanded, the pistol tucked deep in his pants. Without a word you followed his orders.

🛎

#Dark Lee Bodecker x Reader #Dark themes #dark!arvin x reader #dark!arvin!russell x reader #dark!arvin x black reader #dark!arvin x black!reader #dark arvin x black reader #darkish arvin x black reader #dark arvin x black!reader #dark lee x black reader #dark lee x black!reader #dark!lee x black!reader #black writer

[hyunnows]

love, [Y/N] | jjk

► PAIRING: Jungkook x reader

► CONTENT/WARNINGS: angst, mentions of fluffy memories, mc death, lots of Jungkook tears, best friends!au, mentions of unrequited love

► WORD COUNT: 2k+

► RATING: pg13

► SUMMARY: "It’s not fair that he was holding the last of you in his hands, unable to focus on anything other than the last words he’ll ever receive from you."

↳ A/N: I got this idea at 2:36 am and I don't know where it came from but oh well. This was meant to be a 300-word blurb and we ended up at 2k lol. I haven't written anything for Jungkook compared to Tae, and honestly, this maknae has been climbing my bias list so here's a semi-self-indulgent fic filled with angst and crying! I hope you enjoy it, please feel free to leave feedback and reblog! Also, STREAM BUTTER!

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Shaking with fear, Jungkook gripped your hand tightly, tears pouring out his red eyes as your patient monitor fluctuated slightly. With a quivering lip, he croaks, “C'mon [Y/N], wake up. For me? Please…”

He feels your small fingers squeeze his own gently, weakly, and hope beams across his face. But just as soon as the hope had come, it vanished, your paling fingers going stiff in his palm. The once steady beeping now a quickly accelerating sequence, the sound ringing in the brunet boy's ears as his eyes go wide and breath cuts short.

He feels the nurses pull at him, trying to drag him out the room and he thrashes against them, his nails digging into your hospital bed with all their might until his knuckles turn white and his vision blurs. Loud sobs rack through his body as he slumps in the nurses’ arms, pressing the balls of his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears and the burning. His cries almost choke him, the occasional cough jerking his body harshly.

When he sees the familiar face of the doctor, he prays that the downcast gaze and frown don't mean what he thinks.

“[L/N] [Y/N],” Seokjin takes a breath, his own eyes beginning to water at the words he's about to utter, “time of death: 2 am… I'm sorry Jungkook. I did everything, I-I tried every voltage and pumped her with liquids a-and everything I could d-do—I couldn't save her. I'm so—so sorry.”

It's like his entire world has crumbled in a second. His arms and chest are suddenly heavy, his lips, throat, and face feel dry and dehydrated, and his eyes can't decide if they want to be open or closed because of the stinging sensation they feel when he tries either. Sitting on the floor in front of your room, he takes the hand Jin outstretched and wobbles inside, only to fall back down the moment he sees your dull figure.

He doesn't care that a small crowd can see him babbling incoherently as he tries to apologize to you through his sniffles and whimper, crawling to your hand and lacing his fingers through yours.

Eventually, Taehyung and Jimin pick him up and drag him out of the building you took your last breath in. Jungkook didn't try to resist, knowing he was in no shape to put up a fight or drive himself home. He needed to get out of there anyway, the smell of death only he could detect suffocating him slowly.

On his way upstairs, Taehyung holds him back, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a short stack of envelopes—maybe two or three—rubber-banded together and hands them to the younger. “Her first day in the ER, she m-made me promise to give you these if she—if she… You know…”

Hearing they were yours, he takes them gently and swiftly, immediately holding them close as if they were his lifeline. He gives Taehyung a silent, stiff nod before turning and dragging himself to his room.

He doesn't open them right away, taking his time to admire your adorable calligraphy and observing every smudge or erased pencil mark you'd left on their light material.

He's not surprised to find every letter addressed to him, because it wouldn't be the first time you two had given each other messages the old-fashioned way, and he smiled softly at the “before you read” attached to the first envelope.

If you're not Jeon Jungkook, please don't read these. If you are, know that I'm still with you, in these letters, in your heart, our memories and that I will always be here, even though I'm sorry I can't physically be here with you right now. These are letters I've written to you, but never sent. They're from the bottom of my heart and they say everything I've ever wanted to tell you.

—[Y/N]

His heart beats harder as he opens the first letter, doing his best not to tear the envelope and keep it perfectly intact for him to save.

There are two Polaroids safety-pinned to the letter, both with his face and yours smiling brightly at each other. He gently unclips them, tucking them safely into the [Y/N]-specially decorated sleeve. He breathes in deeply and unfolds the letter, immediately tearing up at your handwriting on the wilting paper.

Dear Jungkook,

I know you don't think it's cool or modern to send letters, so I won't send this.

Anyway, I want to thank you for always being there for me, my big, strong, human-shoulder-tissue. I couldn't be luckier than I am to have you as my best friend.

And I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I love you more than anyone or anything in this world. You're the diamond to my sky, the sun to my earth, and the person I would choose to spend the rest of my life with.

In other words, I'm in love with you, Jeon. I wish you were in love with me, but I'm already the happiest girl in the world being by your side every day.

Your Best Freind,

[Y/N]

His heart pounds against his ribs, because you had been in love with him. You had wanted him to be the last face you'd ever see. You were right in front of him, your heart on your sleeve for who knows how long, and he hadn't known until you were dead. His face contorted into one of pain at the reality, and he squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears, taking long, shaky breaths before opening the second letter.

This note is considerably newer than the first, its edges still white and crisp, but the deepness of the creases tells him it's at least a few months old.

Dear Jungkookie,

Lately, I've been sick—which you know because I've told you. I haven't told you about my feelings yet because I don't want to scare you or pressure you, but I'm probably going to die before I ever get to tell you these things.

Since I told you how I felt in the last letter, I'm going to try and describe why in this letter. Reason number one, your presence. You always manage to just enter a dark, tense room and make it so much brighter and more comfortable. I don't know if it’s your smile or your laugh or the way you don't care if you're embarrassed or not, but you just manage to make everyone feel comfortable in themselves.

Reason number two, your kindness. I had never seen someone run back inside, get an entire table's worth of food, and give it away before. You're always so willing to give, despite the cost. I hope you never change.

Reason number three, it's kind of odd but I fell in love with your voice. Not just the way it sounds pretty when you sing, but the way it has the power to comfort whoever you’re singing to. I’ve always been able to come to you for support and comfort.

Reason number four is you know how to turn a bad day into a good one. You can talk to anyone who’s down for five minutes and you’ll turn them into a giggling, grinning mess.

Reason number five, you’ve always made me feel loved. Even though our entire relationship has been platonic—at least on your side—you’ve always checked up on me, held me, and made sure I knew I was enough and I can’t thank you enough for that.

Number six is your passion. You always put your all into everything you do. Be it making breakfast for the boys or helping me with a project I put off until the last minute, you make sure it’s all or nothing.

Seven is that you taught me how to love unconditionally. I always believed in falling in love and finding the one, but I never knew how intense it felt to be able to give your all to someone and not expect a single thing in return—until I met you. From the way your nose scrunches when you smile, to how you tilt your head when you’re confused, I love it all. From the best thing about you to the worst, it’s all you, and I wouldn’t want you to ever change. Every scar and blemish, each pore and lash, I’ve fallen in love with all of them because they make you, you.

I know you don’t feel the same, and in complete honesty, I love you so much I don’t even care. As long as you’re happy and I’m able to spend as much of my time by your side I’m happy.

He chokes on a sob when he finishes the second letter, tears dampening the card stock as he shivers. His heart clenches harder as he folds it back up, giving both pictures a once over before pinning them back on the letter.

Opening up the last envelope, a cry racks through his body, and he’s ugly crying now. The necklace he’d given you perfectly washi-taped against the letter. He pulls it off, tucking it tightly into his palm, and holds his breath. This time, the letter is a small, short piece of paper folded in half once.

He almost can’t read your small, dainty handwriting through his bubbling tears, but manages.

Hi Jungkook. Did you see the necklace?

It’s the one you bought me for my fifteenth birthday, that I told you I had lost. For a while, I had, and I remember I was too scared to tell you, but you noticed before I could anyway. I was so relieved you weren’t mad at me because I didn’t know what I would do if you were. I still don’t.

Anyway, the point of this short, last letter is to tell you how I want you to remember me. I don’t want you guys to think of me as your sickly friend who died when you were in your twenties… but I want you to remember the good memories we made together. I want you to remember the day we met, when I accidentally broke your bike and when we were both grounded for four months for sneaking out of our houses for our first party. I want you to remember how we got sick together because you couldn’t let me walk home alone in the rain, but you couldn’t drive and we both forgot jackets and umbrellas. I want you to remember the day you forgave me for losing the most precious thing anyone has ever given me, because that’s the day I fell in love with you.

This paper’s running out of space so I’m going to wrap this up. I want you to remember everything good about our time together, and not what ended it. Don’t think about how I’m gone, because I’m still with you, after death. These letters, the photos, and this necklace are what I’m leaving behind for you to keep. Don’t cry when you think of me, don’t think of the fact that we’ve been making our last memories, just don’t forget me.

Jungkook clutches the necklace tighter, afraid to drop it. Not only had he lost you, but he’d also missed out on the opportunity to be with you because he’d been too scared to ask you out while you were alive. He’d been in love with you since you two were eleven, tried to confess to you when you were fifteen, and lost you at twenty-three.

It’s not fair, he decides, it’s not fair that your love never got a real chance and it never would. It’s not fair that all these years you thought your feelings were one-sided when he reciprocated them ten-fold. It’s not fair that he was holding the last of you in his hands, unable to focus on anything other than the last words he’ll ever receive from you.

He sucks in a deep breath, barely croaking out your sign-off, “Love, [Y/N].”

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#btscreatorscorner #bangtanuniversity #bangtaninn #jungkook #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook oneshot #BTS angst #bts x reader #bts fluff #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimim #kim taehyung #bangtan #bangtan x reader #bangtan x you #bangtan angst #bangta boys #bangtan sonyeondan #bts x you #bts seokjin #suga fanfic #bts jeon jungkook #bts x y/n

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Let the Stars Witness

Okay okay holy— omg I did it! My first request and from an admired writer of mine no less!

From @kim-monsterlings : Hi and welcome!! Really looking forward to seeing your work! ~ If you would, could I request some form of friends to lovers with an orc? (Prompts maybe like, "you deserve better.") Thank you! <3

Since it wasn't specified on what their genders are, I hope your okay with what I went with! And I kinda trailed off from the prompt (or rather it's different but similar)

Anyways you'll know when you read!

•

Pairing: Male Orc (Duruk) x Human Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: None.

•

"You know, I never thought I would be friends with anyone here, especially with someone other than my, well, species," you tell your companion, your eyes not leaving the cloudless night sky as you lied on your back on the roof of his house. The stars were out tonight.

If you told your younger self that you'd be having great escapades (if running away and getting into a series of trouble fall under that) with an orc, you would most definitely cry your eyes out because you thought were being teased, taking it as a hurtful comment. You were sensitive like that. Part of the reason why no one would even go near you, afraid they might hurt you with a pat on the shoulder or with one word alone. You became the prime target of bullies, finding twisted amusement at your pathetic reactions. A crybaby, they called you. But it wasn't your fault you didn't have much control over your emotions. You were weird, asocial, timid, maybe even depressed. Having a neglectful family didn't help either, it just worsened.

•

The morning you met Duruk was after the orientation. And it was not so good for a first impression.

Long story short, you cried.

But since you're perhaps curious as to what happened exactly, let's elaborate.

You had your headphones on, the melodic sound of gentle rain played in a 3-hour loop and blocked out other noises, your eyes glued to the path you were on. You took long and hurried steps, wishing you could teleport to your classroom and hide in the back, disappear or become invisible.

You were distracted, or should we say, focused on the ground and expecting everyone to step aside and let you through.

Well, except for the one who had his back on you.

You crashed—not an exaggeration— into something- someone massive. You stumbled back and landed on your bum, wincing from the impact. Luckily, your headphones were safe (ah yes, priorities), detaching from your ears and landing on your shoulders. When you looked up to see who it was, you thought your eyes were gonna fall off, grow little legs, and scamper away.

Before you stood an orc, halfway turned to glance at whoever it was that tried to push him, his sharp tusks jutting out from his maw. His brows were furrowed as he looked down on you. Sure, he wasn't as tall as the orcs you've seen around the city and campus but still was over 6 feet, with muscles thicker than your thighs, easily hulking you.

You tried to get out an apology and run as far as you could go, but you just sat there, frozen as you strained your neck to meet his gaze, you couldn't look away. Your heart was trying to claw its way out into the surface.

Then you felt the tears swell up.

They cascaded down your face before you even could stop them.

The orc's eyes widened at your reaction and crouched down to your level in an instant that he almost fell over. His hands hovered, not sure what to do.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry. Please don't—"

"I-I-I'm re..really s-sorry p-please don't hurt m-me..." You managed to choke out pathetically, hiccuping in every word.

"Shhh now hey, it's okay. It was an accident— what? No! Why would I do that?" he replied. The orc peeked over his shoulder and to the sides. "Let's get you to somewhere, uh, less crowded," he added. You turned your head and saw that you had an audience, whispers went around as they sent pitiful and disgusted glances in your direction, only making you cry even more.

He proceeded to unceremoniously lift you into his arms, bridal style, and dashed away. You gripped the front of his shirt and shut your eyes. You were trembling now, scared of what he might do to you. How could you even fight back with your small stature?

It wasn't long until you felt him slow down and placed you carefully on a bench. The orc knelt in front of you, brows scrunched up as he studied your face.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You didn't reply, only staring at him through your glassy eyes as you heaved.

You flinched when his hand started rubbing your back, his other hand placed on the side of the bench to balance himself.

He continued to caress your back and murmured soothing words in hopes of calming you down.

Your tears didn't stop falling until moments later when you came down from your initial fear, the warmth of his palm leaving your back once you did. All the while the orc remained where he was, at a loss of what to do next.

You rubbed your sticky face with the collar of your pale and blotchy crimson sweater, sniffing and taking slow, deep breaths before you spoke.

"I... I'm sorry for causing you trouble. E-Even going as far as to take me somewhere quiet. I...appreciate that." You thought you'd pass out with the way people gathered around you, it was suffocating. "Thank you..."

"I panicked," he started, "Sorry—I mean, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I get that a lot of people run away from the sight of me, but you didn't, and just froze there on the ground so..." he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.

You shook your head. He was such an imposing figure to many, their first thought was most likely to get away or scream at him.

"You looked angry... When I bumped into you." You slammed into him actually, but he didn't budge an inch. Guess it was one-sided.

"Oh, that? Well, my brother scolds me a lot for having such a grumpy face, scaring humans away. Like he was the one to talk when he's taller and bigger than me! People would faint on the spot when they see him, I bet!"

The image your mind conjured up tore a laugh out of your body, two orcs arguing about how not to terrify people at sight was damn hilarious. When was the last time someone made you laugh like this?

The orc grinned, your reaction a contrast to that of earlier.

You opened your mouth to say something but the ringing of the great bell resounded, cutting you off. The two of you stood up as you realized you were late for your first class of the school year.

"So, uh, what now?" you asked.

"How about we go to our class, then maybe meet up later? Oh, fu— my mother will gut me— I haven't introduced myself!" He blurted out, his voice making you yelp with the sudden outburst.

Clearing his throat, he reached out, "I'm Duruk."

In turn, you gave him your name, taking his hand and smiled. "Hello, Duruk."

•

True to his word, you met again later when lunch came. The cafeteria was packed so you settled on getting the convenience food they offered and eat somewhere quiet.

Your conversation that day spiraled when you found out the two of you had a lot in common. From your favorite rock band to your favorite flavor of ice cream.

You both strongly agreed that vanilla ice cream was superior.

You agreed to meet up during breaks, always having something to chat about.

Eventually, you became inseparable.

He even changed and transferred to your class just so the two of you could be together at the start of the day rather than walk half of the campus to see each other every time.

You became best friends, sharing each moment in school, may it be helping the other stay awake in a boring class, or copying homework when one of you forgot to do it. Soon enough, Duruk started inviting you to his house to hang out. He did mention he had four other siblings, but he lived alone. You came by almost every night and on whole weekends to escape from home, only a few miles in between. No one would notice you gone anyways, but you returned around midnight, not wanting to impose on Duruk no matter what he says, so he walks you back instead.

You basked in each other's company. The odd and scrutinizing glares didn't go unnoticed when you two were together, but you shrugged them all off.

It didn't take long before you started having feelings for the orc, a little wishful thinking that you could be more than friends. You noted lately that his touches would linger seconds longer than usual, hugs and even a hand on your shoulder and back seem to be warmer and —you dare say— affectionate. It weighed heavily on your heart, your simple crush turned into something else, and it only grew with each passing day, and every laugh you shared.

But of course, you swatted those away, buried them deep inside every damn time they climb back up. Who could even love you? Yes, you have Duruk, he likes you, you think. But that's the end of it. Just close buddies. You can't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him and make things awkward with the only one you had! What if he stops talking to you, weirded out by your confession? You don't want to go back to being alone again, your heart can't take the rejection that came with it.

So you endured.

•

A little over five months ever since the embarrassing accident, here you are now, stargazing with your best friend.

"Well, good thing you didn't watch where you were going that time then," he says, chuckling beside you. His hands cushioned his head against the hard surface. "I wouldn't have..." he trails off.

"Hm, what?" you ask. Duruk went silent and didn't answer you for a time. You were about to let it slide but then he breathes in audibly.

"I wouldn't have met an angel if you did. Should've caught you in my arms, but sadly I didn't move fast enough." He replies, his voice deep and mellow.

You straighten up and turn to face him, your brows shot up, incredulous to what he just implied.

"W-Wait. What?" you squeak, your heart thumping hard in your chest, your skin warming up even in the chilled night air.

Is he—

"You're so cute, y'know that? Fuck it, it's all or nothing," he whispers under his breath as he sits up to face you. His expression was unreadable, but you see in his mahogany eyes a familiar glint of determination. "I'm not good with long-ass speeches so I'll make this short," he breathes in before he continues, "I feel something for you, for a while now, more than a best friend does, like...in a romantic sense. I want to cherish you and hold you in my arms every time I see you, I- ah fuck- damn it I just—" he growls, "I love you, so much and if you don't love me back then please re—"

You shut him off with your lips against his, Duruk's tusks pressing against your cheeks as you held his face in your hands. He was stunned for two solid seconds before returning the kiss, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close and into his lap.

You feel something wet roll down your hand and you immediately jerked back to see his face. The orc was crying.

Did you do it wrong? Were you so terrible at it—

"I don't deserve you... A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you."

Where was this coming from??

"Say that again, I dare you."

"I don't de—"

This idiot!

You pecked his lips to cut him off.

"You big dummy," you begin, "I love you too, idiot. You may be a monster but not what everyone else defines you as. I love you as you are. You're my best friend, and dare I say my l-lover now. Is that right...?"

Duruk gives you a small, gentle smile, "If you'll have me, then yes, for as long as you want me to be." He says, sniffling a sob as a couple more tears tumbled down his rugged face.

You never thought you'd see him like this. He was the one who kept making you laugh with his stories and terrible jokes. Before you, in your hands was someone vulnerable, his eyes soft and fond as he gazed into yours.

It made your heart pound and it hurt.

You leaned in and he met you halfway, kissing once again, deeper and more intimate this time. Real. You brought your arms around his neck, your tears spilling out and he tightened his grip around you. It felt like a dream, too good to be true, but the way he hugged you like you were the only thing that anchored him in this world made you believe it wasn't. All of this was real and you couldn't be anymore happier.

From above, the glittering stars, the light gentle as they shone, bear witness to two freed hearts, bottled up feelings gushing out like a broken dam as you embraced one another and lost yourselves in the moment of bliss, cheeks stained and clothes lightly damp from the tiny rivulets of liquid that dropped down.

It's a lovely night, isn't it?

#athenawrites #my writing #exophilia #monster lover #orc lover #orc x human #monster boyfriend #orc boyfriend #orc x reader #monster x human #requests #fiction #terato #romance #monster romance #orc

[whumpmatsus]

Hi! 👋 Two things! First, a fic request (again Ichimatsu whump because I'm sorry but I have to): Ichimatsu takes a hit meant for one of his brothers (be it accidental or on purpose) and is pretty badly injured. Cue the rest of the Matsu Bros. to the rescue!

And second, um...would you be okay with it if, let's just say hypothetically, I made fan art of some of these fics? 😺

FIRST OF ALL thank you for this because it's LITERALLY the longest thing I've written on this blog so far!! so I hope u enjoy it fully uwu

Matsu Bros plus a cameo by Mama Matsu!! <3

second... YESSSS THAT IS ALWAYS DEFINITELY OKAY!!! aaaaaaa you flatter me <3 <3 <3

-

When Ichimatsu first wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember why he’s here. Hell, he barely even remembers who he is.

All he really knows initially is that he’s in a lot of pain. It hurts to breathe, his face is kind of numb in spots, and his leg feels weirdly positioned, plus heavy and uncomfortable. His shoulder feels kind of sore… as does his wrist.

There’s also some strange fog drifting around his mind that’s making it difficult to really focus on anything.

He feels a hand in his own. Not very tight… he thinks it’s someone giving just enough pressure to let him know they’re here. That he’s not alone. That’s comforting, he thinks.

Then he starts to remember things.

He was out walking with some of the others; Karamatsu and maybe Totty? What they were doing is a little fuzzy and isn’t coming to him instantly. He just recalls they were together, walking on the sidewalk. They came to a crosswalk and waited their turn. Karamatsu, as the eldest out of the three, stepped forward first to cross.

Ichimatsu thinks Karamatsu’s intention was that he would hold Totty’s hand to keep the youngest safe while they crossed, and Ichimatsu could follow after them. He doesn’t believe Totty had any objections.

They waited. They followed all the rules they were supposed to. The crosswalk light told them they were allowed to go.

It was someone else who broke the rules, tearing through a stop sign, the car headed right for his brothers. He… thinks he remembers Totty had only just come forward to grab Karamatsu’s hand, so he wasn’t quite there yet. Karamatsu was the one in the most danger.

He doesn’t remember much else. Running forward, pushing his baby brother behind him and yelling for his big brother to move.Then an impact. A lot of pain. Black and nothingness and warmth.

Now he’s awake. Putting the pieces together, he’s pretty sure he shoved Karamatsu forward and ended up getting hit by that car.

He thinks, in his haze, that the car should have hit Karamatsu, because he was the one who went first, because things happened so fast. But he’s glad it didn’t happen that way.

A couple groans catch the attention of whoever’s in the room, and he gets a squeeze to the hand. “Ichimatsu? Honey? Are you awake?”

“Mmh…” It hurts a little to move his head. He does it anyway, getting a glimpse of his mother. “… Mom…?”

It looks like she’s smiling… relieved, maybe. “Yes! Yes, my sweet boy, Mama is here.” She reaches her free hand over to gently stroke his hair. It feels nice. “Thank goodness. How do you feel?”

He closes his eyes. “I hurt.”

“Well, I should hope so! I’d be worried if you weren’t in a lot of pain right now. Do you remember what happened?”

Although he tries to move around, it’s difficult simply because it’s so painful. “Uh, yeah, kind of… I got… hit by a car, right? ― H… hey… Karamatsu and Totty… where are they? Are they okay?”

“Yes, dear, they’re both fine. Karamatsu has a couple of scrapes, but nothing serious. You, on the other hand, are lucky, young man. You’ve got a broken leg, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You did have a dislocated shoulder, but they got that back into place. The doctor said it could have been much worse. She said you got off easy compared to some people who get hit by a car.”

She combs his bangs back in a way that mitigates any anger or frustration in her next words. “What were you thinking?”

“The car was coming for Karamatsu…” He frowns as the memory surfaces again, in slightly better detail. Damn. “… And Totty didn’t see it… he was gonna step out, too…”

Everything seemed to happen so fast. How the hell did he manage to get his older brother out of the way and keep his younger brother out of the way when everything happened so fast?

Matsuyo sighs and continues stroking his hair. “Oh, I know… they were both in tears when we all arrived. Totty was inconsolable… saying that Karamatsu would be dead if you hadn’t run forward and that he thought you were dead because you weren’t responding. I should be mad that you scared your brothers… but…”

She leans forward to kiss his forehead. “… You did a brave thing, Ichimatsu. Mama is very proud of you. I just don’t like any of you boys hurt… if you’re inclined to do this again, pull the other person back instead of taking their place. You silly boy,” she adds with an affectionate smile.

“Hah…” he laughs weakly, wincing at the pain in his chest. “Sorry, Mom. Everything hurts… I wanna go home.”

“Mhm, they’ll probably let you go pretty soon now that you’re awake. That’s the main thing they were waiting for, I think.” She moves her hand down to pat lightly at his forearm.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it, and your family will take good care of you.”

-

Coming home is kind of weird.

Ichimatsu can’t really walk on his own. Since his leg is broken, the doctor gave him a crutch that he can use with his good hand, but it’s an awkward movement and leaves him feeling unbalanced. It’s just easier to lean on one of his brothers to walk ― in this case, Choromatsu has volunteered to help if Ichimatsu needs to walk somewhere. Though… he gets the feeling that the others would be more than happy to volunteer if the third eldest were somehow busy when he needs to get up.

Every motion, from sitting up to reaching for things to just breathing, is painful thanks to the broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done for those, so he’s evidently got to just suffer. He remembers the doctor saying they should feel quite a bit better in a couple of weeks. Most of this is going to take a month or more to fully heal, which is… according to Osomatsu, a ‘major boner-killer’.

Sitting around doing nothing but being in pain is going to be the end of Ichimatsu. He’s sure of that. He can’t go outside to feed the cats, and it’s difficult to cuddle with them inside with all his injuries. That alone is pretty depressing.

The pain medication they sent him home with is also a little frustrating. The first time he takes it, it makes him so tired he sleeps right through dinner.

He falls asleep on the couch in the spare room, he knows, because it’s where he has to be set up for now. There’s noway he can sleep in the futon with everyone else while he tries to heal; that runs the risk of running into someone, or having one of his brothers accidentally run into him.

His leg’s in a cast and his wrist is in a splint, to protect them as they fix themselves, but if those areas have someone roll onto them, it’ll probably result in more damage. Which means more pain and more time added to his recovery.

It’s apparently a bad idea to sleep on the couch. When he wakes up, everything is sore and screaming in pain. Justified, unfortunately, since he fell asleep in the same position he was relaxing in.

Someone else… is here? There’s something warm pressed up against his side.

He glances over to find that he’s evidently been resting on Karamatsu’s shoulder, likely for a while given that Karamatsu’s eyes are closed too. It looks dark out, and Ichimatsu’s foggy mind busies itself wondering what time it is.

There’s a soft chuckle beside him, and looking over reveals one of his big brother’s eyes is cracked open now. It’s swiftly followed by the other one, then the sudden absence of a pressure around his shoulder makes him aware that Karamatsu had an arm around him. “Awake, hm?”

“Yeah…” He tries to stretch, stopped short when a jolting pain in his chest reminds him that it’s definitely a bad idea. “Oww. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“That’s alright. You started to get a bit drowsy about half an hour after Osomatsu-nii-san gave you your medicine. We saved you a plate from dinner, though, if you want me to go warm it up.”

Ichimatsu blinks. “I slept through dinner?? Shit. How late is it right now?”

His brother shifts a bit more to take out his phone. “Hm… a bit after midnight.”

“Midnight?” Well, fuck. Although he can justify an hour nap or so, he’s just slept like six hours. He missed dinner, he missed going to the bathhouse, he missed maybe a game of cards before bed.

Karamatsu laughs again, his hand tousling Ichimatsu’s hair fondly. “That’s right, my brother. Don’t worry. Osomatsu-nii-san said fatigue is a side effect of your medicine, and your body needs sleep right now, anyway. So, are you hungry? Mommy made soba and yakitori for dinner, but if you’d rather have something else, just say the word. Your wish is my command!”

Honestly… he’s not really that hungry. He knows he should probably eat; his stomach is just trying to tell him not to have anything heavy. Another side effect of the medication, maybe. “Are you… sure? I kind of just feel like plain miso and rice. Other stuff doesn’t sound good.”

“Of course! I’d be delighted to go heat some up. You simply rest and I’ll…” When he goes to stand up, something catches Ichimatsu’s eye, and he grabs his brother’s hand, weakly, with his own injured one. It’s painful, but…

Karamatsu’s eyes focus on his younger brother, brows furrowing. “Ichimatsu? What’s the matter?”

It’s… that cut on Karamatsu’s face. Ichimatsu didn’t notice it before. Now that he’s a bit more alert, it’s practically all he can see. It’s not very big, maybe the length of one of their little fingers, and not deep. It looks like a scrape from falling off one’s bike or something. He thinks maybe it had a bandage on it at one point. The color has faded into something dull; the skin around is still bright pink, though, suggesting that it’s irritated despite not being cut.

His gaze shifts down to find similar wounds on Karamatsu’s hands. On the palms, where he probably got a sort of road rash when he tried to catch himself after Ichimatsu pushed him out of the way.

His own wrist protests with a violent throb as he reaches to let his fingers graze lightly over Karamatsu’s wrist. Image after image of what might have happened to him if Ichimatsu wasn’t fast enough comes unbidden into his head. Karamatsu could be the one with a broken leg or broken ribs, or it could have been worse.

“Y… you’re okay… right?” As soon as those words are out of his mouth, tears start spilling. All at once he’s pulled into a hug, loose fists resting against his back. He can’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his face against Karamatsu’s shoulder.

He can feel the soft rumble of mirthless laughter his big brother gives. “You’re the one who was hurt, Ichimatsu. I’m only okay because of you. If you hadn’t seen… I wasn’t paying attention…”

The words, “It should have been me”, hang heavily in the air even though Karamatsu doesn’t say them.

He brushes a delicate kiss over the side of his little brother’s forehead. “Heh… you would have been a better big brother than me. You kept us all safe when I failed. You probably saved my life, you know. Thank you.”

Ichimatsu isn’t sure why it’s now that the full weight of everything has hit him. Now, when he’s home and out of danger, when everything is okay. Shouldn’t he have been falling apart when he first woke up in the hospital? It shouldn’t have taken seeing Karamatsu’s small injuries to remind him that they all could have died when he’s the one in a cast.

It’s hard to keep himself together, to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t completely go to pieces. (Though, if he did, what better place to do so than in his older brother’s arms?) “… You’d do the same for me, right? So it’s only fair.”

“I would,” Karamatsu hums. “Without a second thought. You’re my little brother and I love you very much and if I could save you from being hurt, I would. I’m… sorry I was so careless that I couldn’t do it this time.”

Ichimatsu grunts, slipping his good arm around Karamatsu’s waist in an effort to be closer. “Don’t feel too bad. The next car’ll be yours.”

-

After eating as much as he feels like he can, Ichimatsu allows Karamatsu to help transfer him to the floor. It’s already set up with a spare futon, a blanket, and a pillow, probably because someone guessed that sleeping on the sofa wouldn’t be comfortable.

He’s still in so much pain. The shoulder that was reduced back into place aches like an old war wound, and his chest is sore even when he’s lying still. To say nothing of his wrist and his leg. His whole body feels like one giant bruise, except worse.

Although Karamatsu insists he’d be just fine to stand guard all night, after a few minutes Choromatsu comes in and sends him back to the bedroom. Ichimatsu doesn’t hear too much of the conversation ― mostly whispers that Karamatsu needs to go get some sleep, that Choromatsu is glad to take a turn.

Soon enough, though, Karamatsu relents and comes to tell Ichimatsu goodnight before he leaves the room. Ichimatsu gets one more kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze to his good hand and exchanges another round of “I love you”s with his brother, then heads into the bedroom.

Choromatsu came prepared, setting his own pillow up on the couch and tossing a blanket at the end just in case he needs it. “So… how are you feeling, Ichimatsu?”

“Mm… like crap, kinda.” He looks over to where his brother is trying to get settled in. “I can’t believe I slept six hours and I’m still tired. What kind of shit did they put me on?”

“Hah… y-yeah, it’s the good stuff, probably. Is it at least helping the pain a little?”

“A little. Like Mom said before we left the hospital, I… guess it’d be more worrying if I wasn’t in pain right now. I did get hit by a car.”

Choromatsu leans forward and places a cautious hand on his little brother’s head. Once that earns him no punishment, he gingerly combs through Ichimatsu’s hair. It certainly feels relaxing. “You sure did. I… I can’t believe you kept both Karamatsu and Totty safe. Adrenaline’s a… a weird thing, huh? I’m glad you’re all okay. Hopefully the pain medicine will work better once you’ve had a few doses.”

“Mh. I hope so.”

“Yeah. For now, just, uh… just try to get some more sleep, okay? Your body needs a lot of rest while you’re healing.”

Yep, that’s what Karamatsu said, too. Two of his brothers saying the same thing can’t be wrong. … Well, they could be, but it would be weird. “I’ll try. Thanks for… being here. I dunno that I’d really want to sleep alone for the whole night. Guess Totty’s rubbing off on me.”

A low chuckle leaves Choromatsu as Ichimatsu closes his eyes. The sound of rustling suggests that his older brother has laid down and pulled a blanket over himself as well.

After a moment of quiet between them, Ichimatsu becomes keenly aware of a sensation that definitely isn’t going to allow him to sleep. “Uuuugh. Shit.”

“Huh?” Choromatsu is sitting up in an instant, ready to practically spring out of his skin. “What’s wrong, Ichimatsu?”

“― My leg itches.”

“O-oh. So… scratch it??”

He throws his head back in frustration. “No, the one with the Goddamn cast on it.”

“Ohhh. Okay, uh, well…” Choromatsu gets up and rummages through one of the drawers for a few seconds.

After that, a pencil is pressed into Ichimatsu’s good hand with a smile. “Here, try this. Stick the eraser end down in the little space between your leg and the cast, then keep moving it. If the itch is high enough up, it should help.”

Ichimatsu raises an eyebrow at the advice. Well. What’s he got to lose, after all? He spends a moment trying to get the itch scratched after slipping the pencil down, and finally he sighs in relief. “Fuck, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that was gonna work?”

Choromatsu grins self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… remember when I broke my arm? When I went for my checkup, I had this itch inside the cast that was driving me nuts. So the nurse showed me this trick. It doesn’t always work, but…”

“Huh… well… thanks.” After everything, he’s just really tired and ready to sleep now. He would cross his fingers that nothing else disturbs him if he felt like moving at all.

“Heh, no problem. All good now?”

“I think so.” When he sees his brother straighten up to head back to the couch, his brain evidently thinks it’s good to say something. “H… hey. Choromatsu?”

Choromatsu looks back down, concern etched on his features. “Ah, yeah? What’s up?”

His heart is hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break more of his ribs. He doesn’t really want to embarrass himself. It’s just… he feels… “Can you… can you… stay for a minute? Down here?”

“Oh… yeah, sure. I can’t stay too long… I-I can’t sleep next to you. I might accidentally hurt you.” Even so, he lowers himself back down, sitting cross-legged and reaching to stroke Ichimatsu’s hair.

He nods. That’s part of the problem. Even though he normally wouldn’t have much complaint about being left to his own devices… he’s used to sleeping next to his brothers. Right on the end beside Karamatsu. When he’s not feeling well, being absent from them is apparently not doing him any favors. “I know. It’s just…”

His eyes drift closed once more. It must be the medicine making him feel out of it and way too honest. “… I think I’m gonna get lonely sleeping like this.”

“O-oh… gosh.” He can practically hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. The other man’s hand combs through his hair, a rhythmic and repetitive motion that makes him sleepy again. “I can probably… sleep like this, propped up against the couch. Is that okay?”

“Mmmh… I don’t want you to have to do that��� you’ll make your back sore.”

He chuckles. “Ah, I-I think I can handle it. Even if that’s true, it’d be worth it to me so you don’t have to feel lonely. It’s the least I can do for my little brother.”

“I can’t stop you,” Ichimatsu mumbles. Sleep is scrabbling its tiny, strong fingers at him, trying to pull him down. It’s getting hard to resist. “If you want…”

“Yeah… yeah, I wanna do this for you.” Choromatsu leans down to press a small kiss to the top of Ichimatsu’s head. “Hey. Love you, Ichimacchan. Try to get some rest, okay?”

He doesn’t have to tell Ichimatsu twice. Within a minute of Choromatsu’s urging, he’s fallen back into a peaceful darkness.

-

When Ichimatsu wakes up the next morning, Choromatsu’s presence has been replaced by Jyushimatsu’s.

As much as he loves his immediate older brother, he doesn’t have any complaints. He and Jyushimatsu are very close, and his younger brother being here is pretty soothing to wake up to.

He’s uncharacteristically quiet, though that’s not to say he isn’t his usual energetic self. He appears to be flipping through baseball cards, maybe organizing them in his little album, humming to himself. There’s also one hand free to play with Ichimatsu’s hair, which he supposes is why he still feels relaxed.

“Hey, Jyushi.” His body reminds him why stretching is a bad idea right now, so he settles for arching his back a little in an effort to make something pop. Everything is sore. Even that little bit of movement hurts his ribs enough that he has trouble catching his breath for a minute. “Fuck… morning.”

“Oh! Yeah, it is morning!” Jyushimatsu is chipper as always, though when he leans in for a hug, he’s surprisingly gentle. “How’d you sleep, Ichimatsu-nii-san?”

“Okay, I guess. I still hurt a bunch.”

“Yeahhhh, you were crying in your sleep! But it’s okay! Because guess what? Jyushi is here!” He grins, nuzzling his cheek against Ichimatsu’s. It’s a bit weird, but par for the course as far as Jyushimatsu is concerned. Besides, the hug is nice after the fear of being lonely last night. “Did you have nightmares, huh?”

Now that he mentions it… yep. Ichimatsu’s dreams, or what he remembers of them, were filled with horrible things. The memory of being hit by the car, or the images of either Karamatsu or Totty being hit because he wasn’t fast enough.

He recalls one piece of a dream which involved looking into his own chest and seeing the end of a fractured rib shatter his glass heart.

A shudder runs through his body, prompting Jyushimatsu to tighten his grip just slightly. “Oh, you’re cold! It’s past breakfast, ‘cause you slept for a really long time, but I’ll go get you some tea!! Sound good?”

Given that his appetite hasn’t come back from war, that sounds better than anything else. Though he did manage to choke down that rice and miso last night, he’s not sure if he wants to eat even anything bland. “Yeah, sounds good. Put just a little bit of agave syrup in it for me?”

“Yeah! Anything for Ichimatsu-nii-san! Be right back, okay?”

With Jyushimatsu, ‘be right back’ is typically how it goes. He’s only gone for a few minutes, or at least it only seems like a few minutes.

Regardless, Ichimatsu has a cup of tea in his hand relatively quickly. Almost as if his brother predicted that it would be difficult to hold something very hot with only one hand, the tea is warm, not boiling hot.

It’s easier to balance it with one hand, plus this means it’s pretty much the perfect temperature to drink. As he starts to sip it, he feels Jyushimatsu’s hand, covered entirely by his sleeve, rubbing affectionately between his shoulder blades. “It’s good, huh?”

He swallows and gives the other a nod. “Yeah, pretty good. Thanks.” Thankfully, it should wake him up, too. He’s still feeling kind of groggy.

“Good!! Osomatsu-nii-san said he’s gonna give you your medicine in a minute, since I told him you were up and hurting.” Jyushimatsu shoves his binder of cards away, shifting up to sit on the sofa. “Do you want me to move you up here after you’re done drinking?”

“Probably, yeah. You got anything you wanna do today?” Another sip, and he sighs in relief feeling the warmth flow through him. Damn.He can’t believe he could take something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning for granted. “I can’t really help with baseball practice… but we could watch TV together or something.”

“Sure! We can watch whatever you want!” After only a few seconds, Jyushimatsu wiggles himself back down and leans against his big brother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichimatsu-nii-san… I’m really glad you’re okay. Even though you’re hurt and everything, you’re home with us instead of… being not home with us!”

The least he can do is let his head rest gently against Jyushimatsu’s. “Yeah… I’m glad I’m home, too. Don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else.”

Jyushimatsu nods eagerly, making a brief, dull wave of pain wash through Ichimatsu. However, he’d rather have that pain than not have his little brother close. “We’ll take really good care of you! Just say if you need anything, okay? I’m really strong and I can get anything! … And if I can’t, Osomatsu-nii-san probably can!”

“Heh.” Ichimatsu takes another gulp of his tea. “You guys are the best.”

-

True to Jyushimatsu’s word, Osomatsu is in pretty soon to give Ichimatsu the painkillers. For whatever reason, even when he can’t be trusted with literally anything else, the eldest is pretty good at monitoring medicine when one of the others needs it.

All things being equal, Ichimatsu has a lot of faith in taking medicine when Osomatsu keeps track of it. He knows how much was dispensed, how many Ichimatsu is supposed to take and how often, how many are left, and all the related things. He’s like some kind of idiot savant who was put on Earth to be a pill counter.

After he takes it, he expects to start getting tired again, so he silently begs Osomatsu to stay on the couch with him. They’re all supposed to be hanging out anyway, based on what Jyushimatsu said, so right now he decides he wants to be close to his oldest brother for a little bit.

Osomatsu seems all too happy to oblige, snuggling Ichimatsu as close as he dares to. It’s probably not a good idea to use normal force, so the touches are… lighter than usual. It’s not so bad.

He settles in on Osomatsu’s shoulder, trying to get his eyes to focus on the show Jyushimatsu turned it to for him. It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s almost certainly going to fall asleep on it. “You guys are taking really good care of me,” he sighs, letting his eyes slip closed. “You want my allowance? Or, like… a bag of sardines?”

Osomatsu snorts. “What? You’re nuts, man. We’re taking care of you because we want to and because you need it. I mean, if I was sitting here with a broken leg, a broken wrist, broken ribs, and had to have my shoulder cherry popped back into place, wouldn’t you all be like, ‘Wow, maybe we should give the poor bastard a hand’? We’re just doing the same thing for you that we’d do for any one of us.”

Ichimatsu huffs. “Yeah, well… you’re all doing a lot. Karamatsu went in the kitchen past midnight to make me miso and rice, Choromatsu probably fucked up his back sleeping against the couch so I wouldn’t be lonely, Jyushi’s waiting on me, and you’ve got my medicine on a damn schedule or something.”

“Yeah, well,” Osomatsu grins, “I can’t leave it up to you, crackhead.”

He can’t help but chuckle at that. Even so, it’s not going to make him totally drop this. “I’m serious. You guys are…”

Osomatsu nudges him carefully. “We’re being brothers, you boner. I know we suck at showing it sometimes, but… you know we all love each other, right? I guess it’s easier to show it when one of us is sick or hurt. Just so happens you’re the hurt one right now. And also your ass is on painkillers, so everything seems weird to you.”

… Okay, so maybe he can’t fault that logic. Still, though.

They’re both quiet for a long moment while they watch the screen, then Osomatsu lets out a soft hum. “You did good, you know. I don’t like that you tried to get yourself killed, but you did good.”

“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed,” Ichimatsu retorts with the nastiest facial expression he can muster right now. “I didn’t wanna get hit, either. But Karamatsu and Totty weren’t paying attention… I didn’t want them to get hit. I was trying to get us all out of that way… I just wasn’t fast enough.”

Osomatsu scoffs before reaching his hand up to ruffle Ichimatsu’s hair. He appears to be getting a lot of pets like that lately, not that he’s complaining. It feels really good and is one of the biggest comforts he has right now. “You protected them, anyway. I can’t say too much, because you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done if it were me.”

Ichimatsu offers a low, mocking wail. “Oh, shit. I’m turning into you. I think I’d rather be a cat. If I were a really bratty cat, you’d still be nice enough to feed me sardines and scratch behind my ears, right?”

“Uhhhh, I guess. You’re changing the subject, you dick.” A small puff of laughter makes his bangs move. “I just… wanna say I really respect you, man. Sometimes I remember the days when you would kick Karamatsu in the leg just for breathing the wrong way. And when you used to blow Totty off to hang with your friends in high school.”

He gets a shrug in response. “People change. We’ve all changed a lot.”

“Yeah, sure. I know.” His arm shifts down and he squeezes Ichimatsu’s good hand in that reassuring, proud way only an older sibling can. “They haven’t all been good changes. But seeing you trying to keep the others safe… that’s a a good change. Just gotta give you your props, Ichimacchan.”

He’s too tired to really argue with Osomatsu. Despite the fact that he knows he’s the shittiest of them all, he has to at least silently acknowledge that what he did prevented one of his older brothers and his baby brother from being in the same pain he’s in right now.

Instead of saying anything meaningful, he just presses himself in more against Osomatsu and mutters, “That’s nice. I’m tired.”

Osomatsu snorts and Ichimatsu feels a light kiss on top of his head. “Alright, dumbass, get some sleep. The pills are probably kicking in. Let me know if you need anything.”

Ichimatsu thinks that, right now, all he needs is his big brother to be the perfect pillow, and he’s doing a pretty good job of that.

-

Although it’s not dark at all the next time Ichimatsu wakes up, it’s significantly later than he meant to sleep. 3 P.M., meaning that once again he’s slept through a meal ― lunch, this time.

Just like last night, he finds that he’s not really all that hungry. Even so, it might be a good idea to eat, so probably he ask Osomatsu to get him something small.

When he shifts and looks over, though, Osomatsu isn’t there anymore. Instead, there’s Totty…

… Oh.

He’s holding onto Ichimatsu pretty tight. Ichimatsu isn’t sure he can move too much with the way Totty is holding him.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Totty? Everything okay?”

His little brother stiffens, wide eyes suddenly turning up to look at him. Unlike what he noticed about Karamatsu, Totty doesn’t have any physical injuries, but… the skin around his eyes is red and puffy. “Y… yeah, it’s all good. Sorry, am I hurting you?”

“No… not really hurting.” He doesn’t remember having seen Totty too much after everything happened. He visited Ichimatsu in the hospital, all teary-eyed and not talking, before they were all allowed to take him home. Once he got home, though, he can’t recall Totty being around a lot even though everyone else was.

He assumed Totty was freaked out after everything and avoiding him just because he’s emotional right now. Seems Ichimatsu was right about that.

He maneuvers his good arm to put it around Totty’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. “Have you been crying? You sure you’re okay?”

Totty sniffles and dips his head down. “Yeah, sorry… I just…”

“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” Even though it hurts a little to move so much, Ichimatsu cuddles his brother in against him. “It’s fine, you big crybaby. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I should be the one making sure you’re okay.” Regardless, Totty nestles in, tucking his head under Ichimatsu’s chin. It’s a bit of a weight on his hurt ribs, but it’s not that bad. “… H-hey. I, um. You know. I… I love you.”

Huh. It’s been a while since Totty has said that point-blank to any of his brothers, Ichimatsu thinks. It’s kind of nice to hear. He closes his eyes and offers an appreciative hum. “I love you, too. That it?”

Totty lets out a frustrated sigh, and Ichimatsu can just imagine the pout he has on his face. Kinda cute. He can’t really help himself; the youngest is always gonna be the baby, always gonna be adorable, even when he’s acting like a little bitch or if he wants to deny it. “I wanted to… say I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“For… everything! Y-you know, for almost getting hit and… I mean, you got hurt trying to protect me and Karamatsu! If I hadn’t tried to follow him without even looking… you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. And… and I haven’t been with you too much since you got home…”

He nuzzles his head against Ichimatsu’s collarbone, kneading his hand against the top of his brother’s good leg. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just… I’ve been… really upset. It was scary, seeing the car hit you…”

The hum Ichimatsu gives this time is lower, pensive and understanding. “Yeah. Mom said you were crying a lot when she got to the hospital. ‘S okay to be kinda freaked out, you know.”

“Yeah, I know… and I was… am.I was scared the whole time… Karamatsu tried to wake you up, but you were just lying there and you wouldn’t…” Totty sniffles and his hand curls into a weak fist against Ichimatsu’s knee. “I didn’t wanna lose you, Ichimatsu-nii-san, and I was really afraid you were gone. I’m happy you’re okay… I just… I-I was pretty sure I was gonna cry the first time I tried to take care of you, so I… wanted to be alone with you. Crying in front of all you guys is…”

Ichimatsu nods to quiet his brother, ghosting a kiss over the top of Totty’s head. “I get it. It’s okay, Totty. C’mere, okay… you don’t have to be sorry for being freaked out and not wanting to cry and all that shit. I’m sure Karamatsu’s freaked out, too. And everyone else. Don’t apologize for your feelings, stupid.”

An indignant huff is the response he gets, before Totty presses in against Ichimatsu’s uninjured shoulder. “It just makes me think a lot,” he finally confesses.

Ichimatsu smirks. “Right. And you’re so out of practice with thinking, it’s hard. I know.”

“Th-that’s not it, you jerk!” Totty whines and brings his arms in, curled against his chest. His knees come up onto the couch, folded under him, as he tries to get comfortable. “It makes me think… anything could happen, at any moment, and that… might be it.And I know we’re all shitty to each other a lot of the time, but… but I love all of you.”

He sniffles, snuggling against Ichimatsu when his big brother pulls him even closer. “The thought that one of us might… die… I-I didn’t… I didn’t know how afraid I was of that… till I thought it happened. If one of us wasn’t here… it… it wouldn’t be the same anymore.”

“… Yeah.” Ichimatsu gives Totty a squeeze that’s maybe a little tighter than necessary. It’s not like he can pretend that Totty is wrong. He’s right. Even though they’re all assholes and treat each other like crap sometimes, the last thing any of them want is for their family to be… incomplete.

They sit quietly for what feels like a long time, holding each other. Breathing. Just existing in sync, in perfect understanding for a while.

Sometimes, it’s true, Ichimatsu is kind of a death seeker. Sometimes he really does want to die. Sometimes he doesn’t care about anything, and just wants it all to end so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of life anymore.

Sometimes, though… sometimes he fights death with all he has. He thinks maybe that’s what happened after he got hit by the car.

It would have been easy to die then. To just let his injuries swallow him up and put out his life like blowing out a candle.

He’s in a lot of pain right now, but he’s not dead. There must be a reason, right?

He thinks this is the reason.

Holding his youngest brother and realizing how broken his absence would leave his family, thinking about how broken it would be if anyof them were gone, how much they love each other…

… For once, he’s happy to be alive.

#Osomatsu san #whump #Ichimatsu #Allmatsu #Iromatsu #Nenchuumatsu #Suujimatsu #Parkamatsu #110matsu #car accident #broken bones #medication #caretaking #HEY LOOK AT THESE AWESOME BROTHERS BEING AWESOME #SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF......... #PLS ENJOY THE FOOD <3

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

Bad Blood

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 8

"She made friends and enemies"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the stark Tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 4,601

Warnings: language, sexism if you squint, angst, torture(Bucky style with needles and blood and knives etc), and a little fluff- not in that order.

A/N: I'm sure you guys will hate me after this. Sorry in advance? I'm saying this again- remember the timeline from the last chapter and this one...

A/N 2: thank you for @peterbenjiparker for helping me outline this chapter! And thanks to @chrissquares for the dividers! And of course to @nacho-bucky for reading this over!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

Song on Spotify and YouTube

The pain in your head almost pulled you under and out of consciousness with the way your body felt heavy and all the- were they hands? That seemed to touch you. You shivered when you felt a spark of electricity travel through your body and your eyes shot open.

There was a blinding light directly from above you and both of your sides but after a couple of moments you managed to see through that. You saw the agents, the building, the chair you were seated in with equipment you did not know but you did not want to find out what they do. When they noticed you were awake, two men walked to you.

Mike was standing on the side, grinning, while the doctor from the warehouse seemed to look you over.

"And she is awake." His voice wasn't charming anymore, now it just sent red alarms in your brain. "She looks so cute asleep."

In a glare you looked at him and he fell to his knees in the agony that overtook him, his eyes were hazy and you wanted to make sure it hurt.

"Put her under!" the doctor yelled and a searing electrical pain ran through your body and instead of his yelling in the room, it was now filled with yours. You didn't hear anything anymore and then all you knew was black. Your body jolted in its place despite the restraints before it went limp.

"When are you guys going to solve the problem?" Doctor Zazu laughed at the remark.

"What problem?"

"Her powers, they are intense and harmful! When she wakes up again, this will keep happening!" the doctor looked at the young agent who was struggling to get up and shook his head, he was still young.

"That's not the problem- that is the solution!"

"How the hell is that a solution? We can't use her until we make her under our control." Mike looked over at you. "Besides, it took years to make the Soldat."

"We are making advances on detecting her powers, and with the new technology and knowledge that we have now, we will be able to overpower her. I doubt she will make such a fight, especially with what you've told me."

"She was quite fun, certainly worth working there for as much as I did."

"I'm glad you enjoyed her, now it's my turn to toy with that brain of hers." He stood at the railing and watched as agents prepared the room that will soon be yours, and the staff that stood proudly just outside of it.

•

Three months ago in Asgard…

"This is such a blessed day to unite the lovely couple!" Lady Iyllir's mother raised her glass during breakfast. It'd been mere hours since Loki knocked on her door and here he was sitting at the long table with his father and Iyllir with her family.

Glasses clunk against each other but they only made Loki wince when he came back to the reality of the situation.

"Indeed it is, I am glad we will be uniting the families soon enough," his father then looked at him. "And I am happy it worked out as it should've."

Loki couldn't speak against Odin. Your voice was haunting him and you were right- he could get away from this if he wanted to, but he can't. He needed this too much even if he didn't want it.

"We are so excited! Right, Loki?" the girl looked at him with bright eyes her ginger hair was just as bright. He nodded and spread a smile.

"Of course, my dear, I look forward to it." She gave him her hand and he was a proper prince after all, so he raised her hand to his lips and gave her knuckles a gentle kiss.

"When shall we do the wedding?" Iyllir's parents talked to Odin more than Loki and the girl who sat behind him.

"We could have it soon, I'm sure we are just as eager to have this wedding just as the two lovers are to getting married." The father talked to Odin.

"Actually, father-" Iyllir quipped up and he felt her hand tighten around his. "I thought we could have it a couple of months from now, the flowers will be the brightest then."

"Dear, don't be silly the flowers are still pretty now." Her mother shook her head at her.

Before she could go further, Loki spoke instead of the girl.

"Shouldn't the bride decide how her own wedding will be designed?" the mother in front of him smiled nervously.

"Of course, Prince Loki, you are right."

With this the conversation went into planning the wedding which left Loki only half listening.

"I want it to be golden, we can even have our clothes be of such too!" he heard her before zoning out of the conversation. Breakfast ended soon after, with a promise from Odin to send maidens that'll be at the Lady's disposal for any wedding idea she wants.

Loki was walking beside her in silence as he escorted her to her chambers.

"What made you change your mind?"

"Pardon me?"

"You didn't want me or this wedding before, so what changed your mind?" he was at a loss of words, not knowing how to answer that- he couldn't bring you up, but Iyllir was indeed clever so she must know already.

"I came to a few realizations lately, but I assure you that I want this marriage." She nodded to him with a smile and he decided to sway the conversation away from you, the redhead beat him to it.

"Thank you for standing up for me earlier." She took his hand in hers as they neared her room.

"Of course, I understand parents can be tough." She let out a huff at that. "I admire that you spoke up."

"My parents sure can be hard to deal with. They like to decide everything for me but one good thing they did was lead me to you." She giggled up at him and he couldn't help but think that she deserved someone who will actually love her, and he hoped for both of their sake that he will learn to do that with time, and time can heal almost everything right?

"Yes, now I will let you go rest."

"I hope I'll see you later."

•

The sting of the needle only grew when you resisted it, your body was shaking still trying to relax from the shock you were put through yet again.

Your eyes were hazy but you were more stubborn than to submit to pain.

"They will come for me, you know." You heard your own voice stumble out the words.

"You think the Avengers will come save you?" Doctor Zazu chuckled and your vision came back to reality. "How long will it take them though? By the time they manage to find you, you will have already become my new soldier."

You focused your stare at him, but before you could do anything he pushed a button that sent searing pain into your mind.

"Blue." You heard him say and it wasn't hard for you to guess what he meant.

•

"Tony, have you seen Y/N?" Tony raised his mask and looked over at Steve.

"I haven't seen her in a few days but it's alright we don't have missions now." He was about to return to fixing his suit. "Plus, she is probably shaking up with that new boyfriend of hers."

"Tony…" Steve groaned at it.

"She's an adult Steve, get used to it. She can fondue whoever she likes." He snickered at the supersoldier who only looked at him in a not amused look.

"It's been a couple of days Tony, I'm getting worried. She would tell me if she was going away- she never went away like this before."

Tony sighed at Steve's stressed face.

"Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y, do you know where Y/N is?" he called to the AI.

"I'm afraid I don't know, the last she has been in the building was a few days ago, she was in the garage and she took one of your cars alongside some of your wine bottles, sir."

"She did what now? I told her several times to not touch my cars." Tony got up from where he was sitting. "Okay, can you call her?"

A moment has passed before they got a reply.

"She is not answering, and it seems like she took out the tracker from her phone since I can't track her."

"You see Tony I have every reason to be worried!" Steve grew angry at the new information, he paced the lab. "F.R.I.D.A.Y where is Mike? The guy that Y/N was with"

"He has not showed up to work in a few days, on the same day Y/N drove away."

Silence took over the room. Tony looked at his friend's crestfallen face.

"I might know where she went to."

"What, where?"

"She has an apartment up in Brooklyn, I saved it for her."

"Why didn't I know about it?" Steve walked up to the billionaire who held his hands up in defense.

"She didn't want to tell anyone, she wanted it to be only hers. I only know it because she needed to buy it, so I bought the entire building."

"We are going now. Get Nat in one of your cars and I will go on my motorcycle." It was a command more than a request.

It didn't take them long to get to the building, Steve did not care about any traffic lights and Tony couldn't blame him. Natasha insisted that she drives faster than Tony and to her credit they arrived at the place at the same time Steve did.

It was eerily quiet and Tony used the scan on the door to open it. They reached inside and Natasha already had the clutch of her gun open,

"Y/N!" Cap called at the small apartment but no answer came. Tony spotted the two glasses in the living room, one full on the table and the other half empty on the floor next to the big red stain it left on the carpet.

"Cap," Tony put his hand on his shoulder and Steve turned and saw Natasha raising the fallen glass to her face and smelling the content of it.

"This is not good, boys."

•

"Blue." The words were distant.

"Five." You were fighting to stay awake.

"Airplane." No. You screamed, trying to get out of your head.

"No, I will not turn into one of your soldiers! I won't!" your eyes flashed to a group of guards and with your anger it took no time for them to fall screaming on the ground, they could barely move when you felt the pain in your head again and you were shot back inside your mind.

"Blue."

You didn't know how much time you've been in this chair, reality and fiction blurred as you eased in and out of your mind.

"I won't turn into your soldier." You repeated again and again every time the doctor played with you and let you be awake. You knew at this point it'll take a lot from you to use your abilities.

"Even if your little Avenger friends get here, you won't be theirs either."

"What?" you hated showing weakness but your inhibitions were low.

"Either you will become my soldier, or you won't be here at all." He laughed right at you and then looked at the scientists beside you. "Put her under again, restart her."

"No, please no." They pushed you back against the chair; put the mouth guard between your teeth, and you felt yourself sink into the numbness of the pain.

You were shivering next time you woke up, you still heard those familiar words.

The machine they put you in was now rusted, at the moment you had clear mind you picked up the discarded needle on the side of where you lay. You were weak but you won't go down without a fight.

You lay there silently until the next agent came next you. Attacking them, you took the needle and stabbed them right in the throat, red blood started pouring but before you could pull out the agent's gun another agent came and their knife made a really deep cut. You looked up at chocolate brown eyes that now only held darkness when you fell to the floor and other agents lifted you up and restrained you.

"Look what you've done! What happened baby? You never put up such a fight from what I remember." Mike mocked you, you really thought he could be trusted. You were certainly wrong when he pressed on your fresh bloody wound. "At least, not in bed."

"Don't worry, she can fight all she wants, the wounds that we will leave on her pretty little brain will last and they'll last no matter what you'll try to do." You recognized the voice of their commander.

"So, did your parents name you after the parrot from Aladdin or the traitor from Othello?" you snickered at him "Then again I don't think you're smart enough to read such a high level literature, all due respect Commander Iago. And don't even get me started on the good doctor over there."

"Oh don't think you have the upper hand here, see we know something you don't. Did you ever bother checking where your powers came from? I'm sure the great Tony Stark tried, but while he failed we didn't. So we are already smarter than your avenger friends!"

You were taken aback by that, whatever created those powers within you always remained as a mystery in your head. But if they knew that, then they know a way inside of your brain and powers that you don't want to imagine.

"Well then, if you are so sure that I will never get out of here- why not share the knowledge with me?"

"We never said that you'll never get out of here, trust me," he stroked your jaw and his hand went down to your throat. Disgust blossomed in your stomach. "We have quite a plan for you if you'll get rescued, I'm sure your friends will appreciate the surprise."

Your heart hammered in your chest, mind racing with possibilities.

"Give her a dose then send her to her new special room." He stepped away and then a needle was inserted in you again, pumping blue strange liquid into you, your mind was hazy with its heaviness, and you barely remembered being put inside a sealed room. You saw a blue glow from outside of the transparent room, barely seeing the long stick and cords that ran from it. Then a blinding light flashed in the room and you felt yourself sinking, sinking inside your own mind.

The light was bright as it shone from your window. Curiousity got the better of you and you almost got blinded by the light outside until it stopped and you could see clearly again. There in through the light Loki stood in some quiet unusual clothing but that all changed with a glowing green glimmer of light and he was in regular clothes looking like the Loki you knew.

You stood there by the window with wide eyes but you couldn't seem to move as you were frozen in place trying to understand the lucid dream that occurred right before your eyes in your empty street.

A knock on the door caused you to shriek and you stumbled down to the ground, looking at the door.

"Y/N dear, are you okay? I can hear you inside." Loki's voice called out to you when you have yet to open the door.

Gathering up the courage you walked to the door and slowly opened it, willing yourself to look normal.

"Hello Loki, hello." You mentally cringed at your awkwardness.

"Are you okay? I heard something falling." He walked into your apartment casually while you were trying to gather up your thoughts.

"Yes, I'm- I'm okay. How are you?" you closed the door and locked it, facing away from him.

"I'm alright, thank you for asking." Loki looked at your form still standing by the door. "Why are you acting strange?"

"I am always strange, you should know that," you turned to him and briefly met his eyes before you made a move to go to the kitchen. "Do you want water? I'll bring us some water."

Loki caught your wrist and turned you to him.

"Are you mad at me for something? Come on, out with it. You know I always find out what you're hiding." He laughed that beautiful laugh of his and looked at you again when you were quiet. "Come on, you can tell me anything, you know that."

He let go of your hand when you still didn't answer and looked at the ground. Deciding to let it go he walked towards your kitchen.

"I'll get you a cup of water then-"

"Why are you glowing?" you winced when your voice was too loud for your liking.

"What?" you turned to him.

"You can glow, like a lamp or something. You glow-" you didn't know how to explain what you saw. "I saw you glow outside!"

"Oh." You almost felt bad at your accusation when you saw his face fall. "Well I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore- I am not who or what you think I am. I'm sorry I lied to you, do you want me to leave?"

"No! I don't want you to leave Loki, of course I don't want you to leave." He looked at you strangely and you looked at him back, a silent chuckle leaving your lips at his absurd question. "No don't leave, can you just tell me what's going on? Please."

Loki studied you then as he saw all the nerves leave you, or at the very least the fear that he dreaded seeing in your eyes.

"Very well," you've never seen Loki this nervous before. "You might want to sit down for this."

You sat down on one side on the couch and pouted when Loki chose to sit on the far side of the couch, away from you.

The talk was long to say the least, and you couldn't tell who it was harder to.

"I can make you forget all about this if that'll make it easier for you." Loki told you after you took in the information he gave you. A god was sitting on your couch. Your best friend was a god. But he was still your best friend.

"No! I don't want that!" You shook your head at him. "Can you maybe show me?"

"Show you what?"

"Your magic, I want to see it."

"You want to see my magic?" Loki was taking aback by the request, he expected for you to be scared of him or hate him. He knew you were special to him, but he didn't think you will find interest in his magic over everything else.

"Yes!" The smile on his face sent shivers down your spine, you recognized that smile.

The next second Loki disappeared from his place on the couch and you stared at the place in shock. Cautiously you scooched forward until you were sitting right next to his former place on the sofa. You reached a hand forward, searching for him in the air but when your hand went through nothing you looked at it and tilted your head.

That's when you felt the breath in your ear. "I'm not there, love." His voice was right beside you and you turned too fast and fell off of the couch.

You saw Loki there sitting right behind where you were a second ago. Gaping at him, you huffed when he laughed at you.

"You can't just scare me like that!"

"You wanted to see my magic and I showed it to you. It's your fault that you couldn't handle it well." Getting up you took a pillow in your hand. "I am the god of mischief as I just told you. So come on what did you expect?"

"I don't care if you're the god of my ass, you are a little shit." You hit him with the pillow over and over again. "Don't you ever scare me like that again!"

"Okay okay I yield!" his laughter calmed down as yours started and he knew he was done for. Out of all of the scenarios he played in his head about this moment, he never would have expected this. "What are you laughing at?"

"I just punched a god with a pillow."

•

"Why haven't you killed her yet?"

"Well, it takes time to extract what we want from her. Don't you want to see her before it?" the commander stuttered a bit when he saw who stood in front of him, coming unannounced. The moment they heard the loud familiar noise from outside, they started to hide everything they were working on so that they won't be interrupted and killed.

The two of them walked towards where you still lay in the almost empty room. At the commander's order you were taken out of it and strapped to the chair again.

You slowly opened your eyes a small gasp leaving your throat at the cold shivers that you felt as you got back into reality. You couldn't tell how long it was.

You felt yourself being watched, warning alarms ran through your head and suddenly the shivers weren't from the cold. You forced your eyes to focus back and when you did you finally saw them clearly.

"So there she is, finally with us sweetheart?" Commander Iago's voice ringed in your ears.

"Is this the little girl that is causing so much trouble? She looks so delicate, so breakable."

The second was a voice you did not recognize, it was almost melodic.

"I'm afraid her powers are the danger here, nothing more. We are taking the powers away from her like we agreed."

The new information registered in your brain, you didn't call him out on his lie- not yet at least, not when you actually have an advantage.

"You told me," you could see his eyes widen. "That you know about my powers, so at least be decent and tell me about them before you drain them out of me."

"Go ahead, tell her." The Hydra commander swallowed loudly before he let out a laugh.

"Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe your encounter with a deity left some marks on you?"

"What are you saying?"

"Dear Loki must have put some ancient spell on you not knowing it would cause what it did."

Oh. Then you cast your eyes down and let it register in your brain. All the incidents, the weapons…

"And how would you know about Loki? Who are you?" you looked into those dark grey eyes.

"I guess you're not used to this kind of grace to recognize royalty. I'm Princess Iyllir, wife of your dear little Loki."

"Oh you're no princess." You won't let her see what you were feeling, the effects of her words.

"I will be soon, he was so eager to marry me. I must say I understand why you liked him," she leaned down to you a bit. "He certainly comes with perks with that silver tongue of his."

You knew he was never yours, but hearing her say that only put salt on your open wound.

"He is probably waiting in bed for me, so I should go. But I hope you'll have fun here, it's not like you will be staying with us for long." She then looked back at the agent. "Good job with her, I want you to finish this as soon as possible.

"Yes of course." You saw him pull the remote in his hand and your heart started to race when they put a mouth guard, tears gathered in your eyes as he pressed it and the pain began again.

•

"How did you not know that Mike is Hydra?" Steve yelled at Tony.

"We must have missed him somehow but we don't have time to blame me for that! The question we need to ask is how do we not know of other Hydra bases?" Bruce took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

"Wasn't he working in analysis?"

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, scan everything Mike worked on ever since he and Y/N got together."

"It's his fault."

"Yeah we know- he kidnapped her."

"It's Loki's fault. Everything went wrong after he got here." Steve kicked over a chair and paced the room.

"Steve let's not focus on the blame right now, we need to focus on finding Y/N." Bucky put a hand on his friend's shoulder until he looked up at him and he shot him a reassuring smile. "We all care about her, it's not just you."

"I know Buck, sorry."

"Why would Hydra target her?" Natasha thought out loud.

"It must connect to everything that is going on with their Asgardian technology." Clint sat down next to Tony.

"What about the Asgardian things they stole?" Thor walked into the room and everyone stared at him.

•

One month ago in Asgard…

"The view from here is beautiful, isn't it?" Grey eyes looked up at him. Iyllir and Loki sat on a bench in the balcony of his room, the skies were clear and the sun shone bright.

He spent the day with the girl. They read books together and she was good conversation, he knew that.

"It is." He looked over all that was below them, the gardens and workers and surrounding all of that were the palace walls.

"It's been lovely spending more time with you, I'm sure the wedding will go splendidly!" she gushed to him and sat ever so closer to him. "It's so soon too."

It really was soon, Loki knew that. You were still there though, all around in his mind. In a crowd he sometimes thinks he sees your face, but he didn't.

He knew he was just chasing shadows, trying to keep himself away from Iyllir but it was of no use, the wedding is soon and he needs to forget about you. He looked over to her.

"I look forward to our new start together." She smiled back at him.

He tried to think clearly, he had to get over you somehow.

The girl in front of him was as beautiful as any Asgardian princess would be- from her soft eyes to her plump lips, and to the rest of her figure. She was smart and perfectly polite like any lady should be.

In the last four months he got to know her better, he couldn't deny her kindness and if only he could forget you he knows he might be satisfied with her.

He had to forget you.

He gently grabbed her chin, moving it slightly upwards to him. He had been dragging this for months, denying it all but the wedding is already planned and he wanted this, he couldn't live in the shadows anymore.

Loki saw the look of surprise on the redhead's face but it soon turned lustful when she leaned up as he leaned down to her. He captured her lips in his and gave it his all; there was no turning back now. She tasted sweet; he brought her even closer to him, deepening the kiss, starting to feel her lust take over him as well.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14

#my writing #bad blood #loki x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki #loki series #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #angst #loki imagine #loki fanfiction #1989 #1989 taylor's version #loki angst #loki layfeyson x reader #taylor swift

[angstysebfan]

Okay I think I'm gonna hurt my own heart with this but hey, it's angst. Could you please write something where reader and Bucky are married, have a child or children and still work as Avengers. Maybe one day reader is sent to go on a mission and Bucky stays home on dad duty. Reader's mission goes badly and she doesn't make it home, leaving him all alone 😭.

(I may request an alternative ending to this because I'm a soft bean).

Oookay can I change up my second request that I sent, please (I've decided my heart can't handle the horrible ending I suggested 😂. Yes I'm a wuss). So mission still goes awry and they think reader is dead because they don't find her body. So Bucky is still told horrible news that she is dead. Maybe a month later he gets a call from a hospital that says they have her and have finally identified who she is and she's okay. (2/2)

--

Lol!! I understand not wanting the angsty ending. I might write angst, but I hate writing angsty endings... lmao! Hope you like this. WARNING: MENTIONS OF BLOOD AND INJURIES.

--

Be Careful

Bucky kissed you passionately, not wanting to let you go. You pull back and give him a smile, “I’ll be home before you know it. Take care of our little bean while his mommy kicks some ass,” you say as you walk backwards away.

“I will. Be careful. I love you, Doll,” Buck says with a smile.

You blow him a kiss before you climb the ramp to the quinjet before going on a solo mission. You turn back and look at your husband, “I love you more!” you shout before entering the quinjet.

Bucky watches as the quinjet lifts off and flies you away, until you are finally out of sight. He turns and goes back into the compound and into your shared apartment, where your 8 month old son is blissfully asleep in his crib. Bucky quickly checks on him before going back out into the common room, knowing FRIDAY will let him know if the baby wakes up.

--

It’s been several hours and there has been no word from you, and Bucky was starting to get nervous. You were supposed to check in an hour ago, but Steve told him to not panic. Bucky tried to distract himself with caring for your son. He fed him, played with him a little bit, gave him a bath and put him to bed. He hoped you would have been home before he went to bed, but there was still no word. 

Bucky sat in bed, thinking about what could have happened. He tried to think about how something had gone wrong, and you had to find a safehouse, and it was taking a little longer. He knew something was wrong, but when Steve knocked on the door, and Bucky saw his face, he knew it was worse than he could imagine. 

Wanda came to watch the baby, while Bucky went with Steve, Sam, and Nat to the location where they lost signal from you. When they landed outside of the abandoned HYDRA base, they search and eventually find your empty quinjet about a half mile away. 

Bucky ran over to it, calling for you in desperation. It was dark, but with the lights on the quinjet, the team was horrified to not only not find you, but see a lot of blood around the inside quinjet. Bucky thought he was either going to throw up or pass out. Nat seeing his reaction, pulled Bucky out of the quinjet so he can breath some fresh air. 

Sam looked at Steve sadly, “This is a lot of blood, Steve. If this is hers, there is no way Y/N is...” Sam couldn’t bare to finish his sentence. Steve took a sample with a piece equipment Tony and Bruce created, which showed that the blood did indeed belong to you. He sighs defeatedly and looks out of the quinjet where Nat was holding a sobbing Bucky.

He walks out and looks at Nat, “Take him back to the compound and have Tony and yourself come back when the sun is up. Sam and I are going to continue to search the area,” he says. 

Bucky pulls away from Nat, “I’m not leaving. I am finding my wife,” he says.

“Buck, you have to go back to the compound and take care of your son. You aren’t emotionally able to handle this mission. If the roles were reversed you would say the same to me,” Steve said, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

Bucky choked on a sob, but nodded, knowing Steve was right. Nat pulled Bucky to the other quinjet and set off toward the compound. Bucky was silent the whole ride, praying to whatever god there was that you were still alive. He knew he was going to make whoever hurt you pay no matter what, but he needed you to be alive.

--

The next day Wanda stayed with Bucky to help with his son, as she knew Bucky was distracted waiting to hear back from the team. When he saw the quinjet land he ran out, hoping that they found you. Steve walked out and looked devastated and like he was crying. Bucky took a deep breath as Steve walked up to him, “Buck...”

Bucky nodded, knowing you were dead. “I’m sorry. We couldn’t even recover her body,” Steve said, fighting back tears.

Bucky took a deep breath, wiping the tears that threatened to fall. He looked behind Steve and saw the rest of the team crying, all feeling the devastation of losing their friend. Bucky took a deep breath as Wanda brought his son out to him, knowing Bucky needed him. 

Bucky looked at his hansom son, who looks just like you, with Bucky’s eyes. How was ever going to be able to explain to him how he failed to keep his mother safe? How would he explain how amazing his mother was and how much she loved him, and Bucky let her go out alone and get herself killed? 

He forced himself to swallow the sob that threatened to come out when looking at his son and grabbed him from Wanda and held him close. After a few moments and walked away from team, not able to handle seeing them distraught. He went to his apartment and sat on the couch with his son in his arms. He looked at the big smile on his sons face and let the sob out. 

“I’m so sorry,” he cried.

--

After a funeral a few days later, Bucky was benched from missions, though he was pretty sure he was going to retire now anyway. He didn’t want to make his son an orphan, plus he was in no mood to go out and save the world. He tried to act normal for his son, but every night he cried himself to sleep while he held your pillow, which still smelled like you. 

He constantly apologized to you for letting you get hurt and killed. He had made a vow to protect you and he failed. He would never forgive himself for that. He knew his son would never forgive him either once he was old enough to understand. The team tried to be there, especially Steve, but Bucky was pushing everyone away. They all understood, but was worried about him. 

It’s been a month and Bucky was not doing well. Nat stepped in and started taking care of the baby. Bucky fell into a deeper depression then he thought possible, and finally asked for help to take care of his son. He felt he didn’t deserve to have his son. Steve had never been so worried for his friend and didn’t know what to do.

Tony and Sam took lead in looking for the people who did this, and went on a mission to another HYDRA base. Once they entered the facility they went to find files to see if they could get information, but what they found surprised them even more.

--

Bucky was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling. This was life for him recently, and he was ok with it, since he obviously deserved it. Your death, he concluded, was punishment for his transgressions as the Winter Soldier. He did start to take better care of his son, but still required a lot of help. 

While lying there, Steve came in, not bothering to knock. He rushed over to Bucky. “Buck, there is news,” Steve said urgently.

Bucky let out a sigh, “I thought revenge was what I wanted, but I don’t have the energy to find them and kill them. It won’t bring her back,” Bucky said sadly.

“No, Buck... Tony and Sam... they... they found her,” Steve said.

Bucky sat up and looked at his friend, “You mean they found her body?” he asked, hoping that’s not what he meant.

Steve shook his head, “She is alive, Pal. She is down in med bay, and she is alive, awake, and asking for you.”

Bucky was never up and out of bed faster, running out of the room and toward the elevator to get down there. He had to see it for himself. Once he got down to med bay he ran down the hall to where Tony was standing.

“Woah Barnes, you have to stop and take a deep breath before you go in. She needs to remain calm, you got it?” Tony said quietly.

Bucky nodded and slowly walked in and saw you lying in the bed, bruised, bloody, but alive. He thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest. “Y/N?” he asked, still not believing his eyes. 

You looked at him and immediately relaxed, “Bucky,” you said in a raspy voice. 

Bucky walked over to your bed and grabbed your outstretched hand. “Baby? Is... is it really you?” he asked.

You let a watery laugh escape, “It’s me baby. I’m sorry I’m late,” you said. 

You pull Bucky into a hug and you both cried into each others shoulder. Wanda brought your son into the room, and you both held him and each other tightly. Bucky swore nothing and no one would ever take you away from him again. You were home, safe, and alive. He was going to make sure you always were.

--

Oh i loved this one! Thank you for requesting it! Hope you liked it!

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @arundhati1609 @amandamdiehl​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @its-izzys​ @roserose26​ @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8​ @bestofbucky @white-wolf1940 @loser-alert @jassy2101

#Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #Bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader

[mother-snake]

(can I be 🐍 anon?) How about a fic where the other's start to slowly notice that Janus is getting more and more comfortable with them and trusting them more. Examples like: they start to notice that they don't have to convince him so hard that they want him around. He starts to relax his outfits a bit until he just shows up in black pants, a big yellow sweater, and signature hat. etc. Ends with happy snake boi getting all the cuddles. - 🐍

this... has taken such a long time... sorry! words: 1961 tags: @idkanameatall @imma-potatoo @girl-with-many-fandoms

The first to realise it was Logan. he had been sat at his desk trying to get some work done. The lights had been turned off a few hours ago and he had been sneaking the occasional glance over to his bed. Janus had come to him that morning not feeling very well, so he had offered to keep an eye on the side to make sure it wasn’t anything serious.

And that it wasn’t, just merely a head cold. But he still didn’t want to wake Janus. The poor side looked exhausted as he slept. that had tripped Logan figuratively up. he had been rather used to Janus just hiding away in his own room rather than coming to here. And that had made him smile… Janus trusted him enough to come to him when he needed help despite being in a venerable state.

He stood up from his desk and walked over to Janus the duvets further up to give the snake some more warmth. he would message Patton soon to bring Janus something to eat. Logan would leave, but he didn’t want Janus to wake up alone.

“m’thanks,” Janus murmured from under the blanket. “it’s all right Janus, go back to sleep for now,” Logan said ruffling the snake’s hair. yeah… he would let Janus rest for now, Logan thought as he sat down to continue his work.

-- the next person to realise it was Patton. They had been on semi good terms since the aftermath of the wedding, but he knew that Janus would need time to warm up to him after all that had happened.

And as he was sitting in the Livingroom, the shinning playing in the background. A sudden thought crossed his mind and he found himself jumping up and making his way to the serpent’s room. the bright yellow door seemed to match along with the others, almost completing the set.

He knocked on the door excitedly. the door opened widely to a rather nervous snake, “hello Patton, may I ask what you need?” “you, me baking cookies!” Patton cheered. Janus rolled his eyes before stepping out of his room, “very well then, it sounds entertaining.”

They walked back down to the kitchen and immediately began to grab things from shelves and storage spaces. peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies. Janus was trying not to show too much excitement. but still Patton could sense it.

And it wasn’t put on, like he used to a few months ago, he could sense the happiness radiating from everyone else… but it was Janus at the moment he could truly sense.

And as he watched Janus sneak a chocolate chip from the packet, he could see the progress. And every second was worth it. and for now, he would make sure it continued only onwards. “come on kiddo, don’t eat all the chips,” Patton giggled as he ruffled Janus’s hair with a smile.

-- the third was Virgil. The two of them had issues that they still needed to sort out. and it was a surprise when he found out the others knew his name. but he knew as soon as he heard that roman had mocked his name, that it would affect him badly. and it had. He had found the snake curled up behind the yellow door.

But now… it seemed the rolls had almost reversed. Virgil wasn’t sure what it was, or why but he had felt his anxiety heighten more than it normally did today. he had found himself sitting on his bed. The room was blacked out by spider curtains, but the sound of nocking on the door had barely been audible over his obnoxiously loud music.

He had told whoever it was to enter. But hadn’t been expecting Janus. and it seemed the side had an outfit change. a black calf length pleated skirt and a bright yellow button up. a small black bowtie finished off the outfit. But of course, he still had his cape and hat.

“nice look,” Virgil murmured as he laid his head back. “you’re not stressed,” Janus said sternly,” don’t move over,” he said rolling his eyes.

Virgil didn’t know what to expect. But definitely not Janus pulling a hidden snake from around his arm. He let out a bizarre noise of concern and or panic, he was yet to decide, as the snake was placed on his arms.

He looked up to Janus with wide eyes, “not the snake…” Janus grinned, “oh… no, the snakes”

Much to Virgil's own amusement as the snake lifted its head and let out a small blep, he could feel whatever was bothering him leave almost immediately. Janus sat down next to Virgil and watched him coo over the snake despite its slightly large size. He found himself feeling years younger, going back to when they could have only been in single digits.

And as he glanced over to Janus he felt as if things had… almost gone back to how things were from before the split. And he felt himself smile. “hey Virge,” Janus said as he took the snake from his arms, “your eyeshadows purple,” he grinned. Virgil playfully nudged Janus in the shoulder, “yeah, okay the snake broke my poor cold heart,” they both found themselves in a fit of laughter.

Yeah. He was going to make sure Janus laughed like that again. After all they had both been through… Janus deserved to feel this happy.

--

Remus had been next. It had been a nock on his door in the middle of the night. he knew it would most likely be one of the more nocturnal sides.

But as he opened the door to see a familiar side in a dinosaur onesie wrap their arms around him. he knew that tonight would be a little different. as Janus let go of Remus, the imaginative side let Janus enter. Sure, they may not be on the best of terms right now. But for Janus to wake him up so late in the night… something had happened.

He watched as Janus sat down on the rather messy bed and pull his head into his knees. “you okay Jannie?” he asked as he sat down next to the snake, “you wanna talk about it?” he got a small head shake. “come on then, you can stay with me the night if you want,” Remus said as he pulled Janus into a side hug. “thank you,” Janus whispered smally from his chest.

It took a few minuets of cuddling for them to finally shift and lie down next to one another. They lied like that for a few minutes before Remus realised that Janus was out cold.

He let out a small silent laugh as he brushed a piece of hair out of Janus’s face. how long had it been since Janus had been so peaceful? Back when they were darks it seemed like the old Jan had disappeared. Replaced with constant worry about his plans and fear of more people leaving.

He missed seeing Janus without a care in the world. But right now, he felt worried. Not much could have Janus to the brink of tears and have him come into his room of all places.

Right now, however, it was best to get some sleep. Knowing Janus, he would be better to talk to in the morning. That and the bags under his eyes almost rivalled Virgil's at this point. So, he was going to let the snake sleep in. they both needed it.

And soon, Remus was asleep. a protective arm wrapped around his baby brother.

-- the final side to realise had been roman. The other sides had been summoned, forcing the two company seekers to sit in the same room together. it wasn’t reluctant. But the tension could still be cut by roman katana. Janus sat there on the opposite end of the sofa looking in a book. it wasn’t a particularly big one. But it could only keep his attention for so long.

“okay, do you want to put on a movie,” he exasperated as he flung the book onto the coffee table. “um, okay. But what?” “anything. just not Disney…” Janus sighed.

Roman rolled his eyes as he stood up and began surfing through the movies and box sets the mid had accumulated over the years. “okay, hear me out- “roman began as he found something and held it up. there in his hands he held up the original four Jurassic movies.

“I’ll grab the popcorn- “Janus said throwing himself of the sofa and rushing to the kitchen.

And forty minuets in, they found themselves tucked under separate blankets and eating unhealthy amounts of sugary treats. roman had begun to think as the time passed. In the time it had taken for them to get the movie on, sit down and sit in silence beforehand. Janus had made no move for snide remarks… and he couldn’t bring himself to say any either. but something did need to be said.

“hey… Janus?” he asked, looking over to the side shoving popcorn in their moth in handfuls. “yes?” came the muffled reply, making roman chuckle.

“I'm… I'm sorry for before,” he said. “listen. If anyone should be apologising, it should be me,” Janus began, holding up a hand before roman could but in, “I was the one who played you like a kazoo at the court and somehow managed to swap the sides view on me. it most likely sent confusion spinning your way, and you lashed out,” he said. “trust me, its okay. And if you really need it… I forgive you.”

Roman looked at Janus who turned back to watching the tv he blinked slowly compared to normal. And a small part of roman felt a warmth swell in his chest. he had been forgiven. That was enough for now. And he felt a million times lighter. “did you know you can see a hand on one of the raptors being led into the kitchen?” roman said as he took a sip of his obnoxious fizzy concoction Janus made. he didn’t know what was in it. nor would he ask. “that I did princey. That I did,” Janus grinned, flinging a piece of popcorn playfully in the creative sides direction.

He had never seen Janus so… happy. Content before. And a small part of him wondered if it would stay that way. he hoped so… no more fighting sounded nice. and at that moment he found himself hoping that never did happen between them. and he knew he would strive to stop it in the future.

But for now, he had a movie to watch.

-- they all sat together, cuddled up in bundles of blankets trying to ward away the cold chill that flooded the mindscape every late autumn and early winter. Janus himself was in the middle of the cuddle frenzy. Pinned down by logans arm over his shoulder, Patton's head leaning against his other and Virgil lying atop them all. Roman sat next to Patton with Remus next to Logan.

He let out a content sigh. This was the warmest winter he had in years. and it felt perfect. They all held cups of warm coco. They had a movie playing. Patton's choice today had been happy death day. And it had sent a smirk of amusement on his face when everyone paled.

“ten out of ten!” Remus cheered as he watched the main character of the move swan dive into a wood chipper.

There were always going to be issues between them all. But for now, he felt content listening to the sides laugh at Remus trying to lighten up the movie. yeah… this was nice.

#janus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #sander sides

[turquoise-stones]

Edge of Insanity Pt. 3: Closer

yandere!Todoroki x fem!reader

Previous Chapter

. . .

"Good morning everyone…" you yawned, slipping into your seat. It was early in the morning (earlier then you would have liked) and homeroom was about to begin.

Uraraka walked in a moment later, frowning at your slumped over form. "What happened to you (y/n)?"

You let out a groan of exhaustion which only caused the concern on Uraraka's face to grow.

"She had to stay late in the library yesterday because some children made a mess." Todoroki explained from a few seats over, remembering the chaotic events he had witnessed yesterday.

"Uh huh…" you sighed, running a hand through your messy hair and resting your cheek on your hand so that you could look at the two of them. "And then there was math homework and history notes and a science lab and English reading… urg."

It had been a couple of weeks since you had first transferred over, and you were starting to get comfortable with your new classes and classmates. And while the class was exponentially harder than your old one, you couldn't say that you missed General Studies. In Class 1-A, you felt welcomed. You didn't hate waking up in the mornings anymore. Even if your muscles were always in pain from training, your mood had improved so much because school wasn't so emotionally draining anymore.

"You could have texted me for help!" She admonished.

"I thought about it… but by the time I started you were probably asleep already…" you yawned out, causing Uraraka's mouth to drop open.

Even Inomata hadn't spoken to you since that first day. You briefly (very briefly) entertained the idea that Shinsou had spoken to her, but decided that he was probably too aloof to go out of his way to protect you like that. Maybe she had reformed her ways! But knowing her, probably not.

But the best part of it all was the people you were now surrounded with. They radiated positive, hardworking energy that was so infectious that you were more motivated than you had ever been. Your friends (and you were sure to call them your friends now) had adopted you into their group, and made sure you weren't ever alone. Iida mothered you and helped you with work, Uraraka kept you smiling and cheerful, Midoriya helped you train and pushed you to be stronger, and Tsuya grounded you with her down to earth vibe. Even Shinsou made an effort to talk to you. After being surrounded by negative people for so long, you had forgotten what it was like to be a happy student. It felt too good to be true.

And of course, you gravitated towards Todoroki. As Uraraka had said earlier, he really did go to the library after school each day to study. Every time you peeked out from the kid's section where you worked, he would be there, typing away at his laptop, doing worksheets, and you even caught him napping once or twice. It had taken a lot of nerve, but about a week in you finally pulled up a chair next to him after your shift ended. You weren't quite sure what compelled you to do it, maybe a mix of curiosity towards him and a slight crush.

The first few times you sat with him were nothing more than studying and helping each other with homework. You had a pretty good background in English and helped him with that, and he helped you in the areas where you were struggling. But you didn't like studying as much as you liked it when he just talked with you, in those hushed library whispers, about anything and everything. It was it the depths of those conversations where you learned that the two of you got along surprisingly well. You enjoyed the same books as him, watched similar shows, had similar aspirations. Your personalities meshed together so well, and made talking with him was so incredibly freeing. Those quiet moments in the library were the only times when you (sparingly) saw him smile. He never brought up that moment in the cafe, and you were happy to keep it that way.

And your relationship with him transferred into the school day as well. Your friends had noticed how you chose to sit next to him during lunch, how you chose to spar with him, how the two of you left school to go to the library together. They didn't say anything, but sent each other knowing looks whenever they caught the two of you together. It was heartwarming, how fast you had adjusted to class.

. . .

Right before lunch, Shinsou stopped you as you exited the girl's locker room. He was slightly out of breath, and still damp looking from his after gym shower. You raised an eyebrow at him, a little freaked out.

"I need to talk to you." He hissed, grabbing onto your wrist and tugging you away from the stream of people. "Right now."

. . .

Todoroki's eyes suddenly stung like hell, which snapped him out of his daze. After washing out the soap furiously, he leaned back into the shower water and scrubbed out the shampoo with a heavy sigh. Like it had been for the past couple weeks, his mind was occupied with thoughts about you. Your words from that day in the cafe had kept him on edge. They were so… off-putting. Yet when the two of you talked, you seemed so happy and normal. Were you just exceptionally good at hiding your problems? Was he being dense? Or was he just reading too deep into things? He couldn't understand what was bothering you, and he felt that it was out of his place to ask outright after seeing how badly you reacted the first time he asked.

Either way, he could not deny the oddly protective way he felt about you. After all, you were sweet, very charming and even cute at times. He didn't quite know how to deal with the outpour of strange emotions he was feeling for the first time. Turning the water off, he stepped out and dried himself, before shrugging on his school uniform and making his way out of the boy's locker room. He wandered towards the cafeteria, thinking about the cold soba he was about to enjoy, before spotting your figure further down the hall. He watched as Shinsou flagged you down, pulling you around the corner and out of view.

He frowned at the sight, wondering why Shinsou of all people would need to talk to you. You shouldn't be going off with people alone, especially not Shinsou, who could manipulate you and make you do things you didn't want to... He had grabbed your hand… was it your hand? He couldn't tell from so far away. Either way, he shouldn't be touching you. Todoroki had half the mind to follow you and make sure you were okay, but stopped himself. Shaking his head in frustration, he tried to clear his mind of those thoughts. What was wrong with him? You could talk to whoever you wanted, and he had no right to follow you around. Plus Shinsou wasn't going to hurt you or anything… right? Someone bumped into him and Todoroki realized that he had stopped moving. He glanced at the spot where you had disappeared one last time, conflicted, before choosing to go to lunch.

. . .

Shinsou pulled you further and further into the school before choosing an empty classroom (there were quite a few since it was lunchtime) to enter.

He pushed you out of the window's line of sight before finally turning to you. You snatched your wrist out of his grip and rubbed the slight pain away.

"What the actual hell Shinsou?" You hissed, glaring up at him.

"Don't you know what people are saying about you?"

"What?"

"Well I'm glad I get to break the wonderful news to you." He said flatly. "Apparently somebody made a post hinting that a certain someone paid their way into class 1-A. They didn't name any names but… well let's just say that nobody thinks it's me."

You blinked at him, dread slowly creeping in as you processed his information.

"Are you… are you joking…?" You asked quietly. He wasn't smiling. "Are you actually serious? What the hell…"

"Yes, I'm serious. The post blew up and now literally everyone except you seems to know."

"How did you find out?"

"An old friend from General Studies told me."

You felt nauseous suddenly, and sank down into one of the chairs next to you. Did your friends know? They couldn't yet, since they behaved so normally this morning. You opened your mouth to speak but shut it again when you realized that you didn't have anything to say.

"It's not true is it?"

You glared icy daggers at him, furious that he even had the nerve to ask. Your expression was enough to make him step back a bit.

"I'm sorry, I just needed to make sure." He walked to the other side of the desk, sitting down opposite you. You took a calming breath.

"Who posted it? Was it Inomata?"

He shrugged. "I'm guessing. I don't follow her social media but I don't see who else it could be."

"And people… people believe her?"

"She's pretty popular and she didn't say your name explicitly so people are coming to their own conclusions." He stated, running a hand through his hair.

"Christ. Why… why why why. I thought this was over. Why can't she…" you groaned in frustration, pulling your knees to your chest and tucking your face into them. You wanted to cry. Your emotions were swirling and you felt like throwing up.

"I'm… I'm just so done with this. Why does she hate me so much? Why can't she just leave me alone?" You despaired. "I… I don't even have the money to pay rent every month. How can I even pay someone off…"

Shinsou shifted uncomfortably, feeling like he should comfort you but not knowing how. A quiet moment passed and you squeezed your knees tighter, not wanting to look up and see him judging you.

You heard him shift to the seat adjacent to you. "It's alright (y/n). When you work as hard as you have, people are bound to be jealous. This will pass because they're nothing but rumors. So stop crying."

You hadn't even realized you were crying until he told you to stop. Your eyes burned and your cheeks were flushed with anger and shame.

"(Y/n)? Are you listening? Look at me."

You took a large, shuddering breath, lifting your head up slightly to wipe at your eyes, briefly looking at him before turning away. "Sorry… I just…"

He said quietly that you shouldn't apologize.

"Thank you for telling me. I'd rather hear it from you than some stranger in the halls."

He nodded, and the two of you fell into silence for a bit as you calmed your breathing and slowed your tears.

"What should I do now?" You murmured.

"You should tell our class before they hear it from someone else." He said.

"O-okay. But not right now." You said quietly. "Can I be alone for a while?"

He nodded, giving you a hesitating pat on the shoulder before exiting the room.

Next Chapter

#yandere #yandere todoroki #yandere shoto todoroki #yandere todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki shōto #todoroki shouto #mha shouto #shouto x reader #bnha todoroki #bnha x reader #bnha #bnha fanfiction #mha x reader #mha #reader insert

[creambunnie]

♡ Love You More ♡

WayV Xiaojun X OC (Y/N)

angst fluff . ENJOYYYYY

a/n : it has been a long time since i've written such a long imagine. i hope you guys love it!

you wrapped your finger around your mug of hot chocolate and had a sip as your boyfriend!Xiaojun stared at you lovingly. you placed your mug down and looked at Xiaojun with a nervous look. Xiaojun grabbed your hands and squeezed them gently.

"do you think i will make it?". you asked your boyfriend anxiously.

the both of you just graduated from college. Xiaojun already had a stable job at a big tech company, while you, who graduated with a performing arts degree , were auditioning here and there for dramas and shows to land on your first tv debut. you auditioned for romance, action and even horror! you didn't really care about the genre,you just wanted to experience the real deal and improvise yourself till you become a well-groomed actress.

Xiaojun rubbed your hand with his thumb and nodded his head. "i believe an actress as talented as you could make it! if they don't cast you though, it's alright. it's not you, they are the ones who are at lost.". Xiaojun comforted. you scrunched your nose up at his cheesiness and squeezed his hands.

"are you sure you're not just being nice to your girlfriend?". you asked. Xiaojun laughed and shook his head. "of course not! i really mean it. you are very talented! remember when you acted like you were in pain just to get a kiss from me?" . Xiaojun comforted again but didn't forget to tease you . you pulled your hands away and slapped his hand playfully. "ahh why did you have to remind me!". you whined which made him laugh with adoration at your cuteness.

after the short cafe date, you and Xiaojun went to the audition venue by cab . Xiaojun was your moral support. he had always accompanied you to your auditions and comforted you when you were rejected. he would motivate you to do your best and be better each audition.

you were at the waiting room, anxiously waiting for your turn. Xiaojun was sititing beside you while holding your hand in his to give comfort . you on the other hand, tried rehearsing your lines for the last time. you became more nervous when the staff told that you would be going in in about 2 minutes.

"ahh babe i am so nervous!". you mumbled as you faced your cute boyfriend. Xiaojun gave you a small smile and carresed your hair lovingly. "i believe in you , sweetie. you are going to do your best! i promise to treat you to ice cream later after your turn alright?". Xiaojun pecked your lips one last time before you were called. He gave you a soft goodluck as you followed the staff.

~

you were given quite a good feedback from the judges and they told you they would contact you about the results soon. you went out of the hall to the waiting room earlier with a good feeling. you were about to run and hug your boyfriend but was greeted by his close friend instead.

"oh Hendery! are you here for the audition too? oh and did you see Xiaojun?". you bombarded him with questions.

Hendery chuckled and rubbed his nape. "actually Xiaojun was the one who asked me to come here and walk you home. His mother called him earlier because of something urgent. he really is regretful that he had to leave . ". Hendery tried his best to explain to you as politely as possible. your head dropped as you stared at the floor below you.

"oh.. i understand. family is definitely more important. no worries!". you exclaimed as you looked up to Hendery.

Hendery frowned when he saw your teary eyes. He hated seeing his friend sad so an idea popped into his mind. Hendery grabbed your wrist and pulled you along gently. "times like this call for food! i am starving and i bet you are too! let's go!". you giggled and let Hendery drag you.

Hendery brought you to a small restaurant which was a few stops away from the audition venue. "i always come here with my sister. i'm basically a regular and kind of the owner's favourite,so order anything you want alright. it's on me!". Hendery said and winked. you chuckled at his actions but ordered anyways.

you actually had fun hanging out with Hendery. he was a sweetheart , and a dork too. he would crack jokes randomly which brightened your day up. you always hang out with Xiaojun and his friends but never with any of them individually. it was a refreshing experience eating out with Hendery. after talking and eating, it was finally time for you to go home. Hendery walked you home like how he was asked in the first place. you thanked Hendery for the day and apologised for troubling him. Hendery only responded by shaking his head no and smiled widely. he wished you a goodnight sleep before walking away . you smiled back and went in your apartment.

you lived alone since college years. your parents' house were quite far but you do visit them regularly and they visit you too.

you plopped yourself down on your bed and check your phone. you gasped when you saw text messages from your boyfriend. you were having too much fun you didn't even look at your phone.

♡BaobeiJun♡

hey babe.. i am really sorry but i have to go first. i asked Hendery to accompany you back home. stay safe <3

♡BaobeiJun♡

did you meet Hendery? how was the audition? text me as soon as you see this alright ♡

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe, are you mad? i am really sorry, i am going to make it up to you!

♡BaobeiJun♡

please reply me ㅠㅠ are you home yet? nothing bad happened to you right?

- 10 missed calls from ♡BaobeiJun♡ -

you sighed as you saw the texts. of course you were still upset about earlier. but you didn't want to be the annoying girlfriend and tried your best to pretend that you were okay.

To : ♡BaobeiJun♡

sorry for the late replies babe. i didn't check my phone earlier. yeah i am home, Hendery sent me home like you requested. he also bought me food because we were both starving. i am not mad, don't worry :)

you threw your phone on your bed as you changed into your pyjamas. a few seconds later, you heard your phone chime, indicating that you just received a message.

♡BaobeiJun♡

that is great! i should treat Hendery some time too to thank him. i am glad you are back safe. i was so worried when you didn't reply back :((

you chuckled and rolled your eyes at his text.

To : ♡BaobeiJun♡

i am really sorry hahaha , so you wanna tell me why you had to leave earlier?

Xiaojun then explained to you that his mother called him earlier to ask for his help. Apparently , his childhood friend, named Weiwei, was on a business trip here and Xiaojun's mother asked him to welcome her at the airport. you also got to know that the girl was going to stay at Xiaojun's family's place for a few months because renting an apartment would be bothersome.

you were now feeling more upset actually. he left your side because of another girl? and worse, the girl is staying with him for a while? you were furious, yes. but you were more insecure. you trusted Xiaojun but you just couldn't help yourself from being jealous. i mean, which girlfriend wouldn't? you were tired as you read his explanation and decided to end the conversation with a goodnight.

you switched your phone off and wrapped your whole body with your warm blanket. you tried getting rid of all the bad thoughts and fell asleep in anxiety.

~

you were woken up by the front door bell . you groaned as you sat up and checked the time. 10am. you groaned again and cursed whoever it was who disturbed your sleep as you walked to the front door. you opened the door but was greeted by no one. you groaned again thinking that it was just a prank but was startled when Xiaojun's head suddenly popped up out of nowhere. he leaned down so your eyes were parallel. he chuckled at your shocked expression and gave a peck on your cheek before inviting himself in. "i texted you but the messages weren't delivered so i figured your phone was dead. i came to really make it up for yesterday". Xiaojun explained.

you finally snapped out from your shock and grinned. you felt like your anger towards him yesterday evaporated just like that. you hugged him and buried your face into his chest. "you don't even know how much i wanted to hug you like this yesterday after the audition. i was overwhelmed with my emotions and the only one who could calm me was you. but you weren't there.". you mumbled sadly. Xiaojun felt guilty and carressed your hair.

"i am really sorry. i promised to treat you ice cream right? jajan!!" . Xiaojun pulled away and showed you the tubs of ice cream he bought.

"i was thinking of a movie-cuddling kind of date today.". Xiaojun said cutely as he tapped his chin with his finger. you giggled and pinched his cheeks. "i am up for it! but can you let me go shower first?". Xiaojun nodded and placed the ice cream tubs on the dining table. "sure, i will just prepare the couch alright!".

after a nice shower,you joined Xiaojun who was sitting on the couch with his phone. he put his phone on the table as he saw you approaching him. but you saw that he was texting Weiwei earlier. you decided to just ignore your jealousy and took the ice cream tub Xiaojun handed to you. Xiaojun then pulled you closer so you snuggled into his chest and enjoyed the ice cream. the both of you watched a romance movie and imitated the cheesy lines. you would giggle everytime Xiaojun peck your head when there is a kiss scene.

"you know, i heard that the 2nd movie is released next week!". you said and took a spoonful of your strawberry cheesecake ice cream.

Xiaojun hummed and pecked your head again. "it's a date then!".

you turned to him with a wide smile. "really?". Xiaojun chuckled and nodded his head. you squealed and pecked his lips. "i can't wait ! it's been a long time since we've went to the cinema together.".

Xiaojun carressed your hair lovingly before putting down his finished ice cream tub. "how about i go and take some blankets so we could cuddle here?". Xiaojun suggested. you nodded excitedly as you stood up to give him space.

as Xiaojun went to your room, you saw his phone lighted up . you peeked and saw notifications from Weiwei. you rolled your eyes and turned his phone around so you wouldn't get distracted. you quickly finished your ice cream and cleaned up before lying down beside Xiaojun. Xiaojun wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer. you leanee your ear on his chest and sighed in relief as you relaxed ,listening to his heartbeat. "i love you sweetie and i want you to remember that forever.". Xiaojun whispered and pecked your forehead. "i love you too baobeijun,". you whispered back. the two of you cuddled in silence and soon fell asleep .

~

it has been a few days after the cuddle date. you haven't really see Xiaojun after that because he was kind of busy with work. you did texted and called each other but you missed him being with you physically. you sighed and just decided to focus on your work. yeah, you has a part time job at a small bookstore. you still had to make income anyways. so while you practised to be an aspiring actress, you still worked hard in earning your own allowance and not only depend on your parents or boyfriend.

you were keying in some things on the computer when the bell chimed, indicating a customer's entrance.

"welcome!". you greeted as you saw a cute girl entered. you were about to ask if she needed help when the door opened again, revealing your handsome boyfriend. you gasped and smiled widely.

"Baobe--". your words were cut off when the cute girl earlier linked arms with Xiaojun. you frowned deeper when Xiaojun didn't even bother to push her away. you quickly gave a small smile when Xiaojun walked towards you with the girl and waved at you cutely.

"babe, this is Weiwei! and Weiwei, this is my girlfriend, y/n !". Xiaojun introduced. you forced a smile and stretched your hand out for a handshake. but your tired arm was ignored as Weiwei hugged Xiaojun's arm and whined. "when we were little you said we were gonna be together!". Xiaojun only chuckled awkwardly and rubbed his nape. he smiled apologetically to you in which you just shook your head . "Xiaojunjun! let's go eat!". Weiwei saidly in her high-pitched voice which hurt your ears. Xiaojun nodded and looked at you, who was looking at the couple sadly.

"i'll see you soon, okay babe?". Xiaojun said softly as if you were the most fragile thing there. you smiled and nodded. before you could speak, Weiwei pulled and dragged Xiaojun out of the store.

you wanted to just cry out loud but you held yourself back. Xiaojun has been to busy with work and couldn't spend even an hour with you but here he was spending his free time with another girl. you knew she was just a friend and you trusted Xiaojun. you love Xiaojun. but it hurt you how he was being oblivious of your painful heart . you decided to push aside the thoughts and focused on work. you were grateful there weren't many customers on that day . you were not really in the mood to entertain others . half an hour before the store closed, the bell chimed indicating a new customer. you continued packing up books and your things while the customer looked for their desired books. you were packing your bag when the customer placed books on the counter. "hi , i would like to ask if the last volume of this comic is still available?". you quickly turned around at the familiar voice. the customer blinked and chuckled. "i didn't know it was your shift ,". Hendery stated. you gave a small smile and nodded. "yeah i was just covering for my co-worker. ". you said softly. you quickly looked at the comic he was purchasing and keyed in the code in the computer.

"the last volume is sold out . but the new stock is coming tomorrow! you could come by if you like and i could reserve one for you.". you explained.

Hendery grinned and nodded. "sure,i'll purchase these first and come back again tomorrow!". after settling his books, it was finally time for you to lock the bookstore and head home.

you switched off everything and quickly closed the store down. you gasped when Hendery suddenly stood in front of you. Hendery chuckled at your reaction . "i was thinking of dinner. together?". Hendery suggested. you chuckled and shook your head. "i'm actually kind of fu--". your lie was cut off when your stomach growled violently. the two of you stared at each other before laughing. "alright, how about hotpot and some beer? at the same place!". you suggested this time. Hendery smiled widely and nodded. "i'm paying this time so don't worry about what you want to eat alright!". you said again . you tried making yourself happy but your lifeless eyes could never lie Hendery. Hendery decided to just play along with you and waited for you to open up yourself. he hated seeing his friends hurt but he hated forcing people more.

you were on your second bottle of beer, you were not really drunk but drunk enough to cry outloud the feelings you've been hiding since afternoon.

"i know she is just a friend but why is she getting more attention then me? your girlfriend? am i just dumb for crying or are you dumb? why does Xiaojun have to be so kind towards other girls? this is unfair!". you whined and downed another shot .

Hendery kept quiet and let you let out all your feelings. he thought it was finally time for you to cry out everything and feel better .

"Hendery, is it really childish and petty of me to be jealous like this?". you turned to your friend and slurred your words. Hendery only sighed and tucked your hair back behind your ears to have a clearer sight of your red face. "no i understand. you shouldn't feel bad for feeling this way. i can't help you much but i am here for you when you need me.". Hendery comforted. you nodded at his response before falling asleep right after . Hendery quickly stretched his arm out before you could knock your head on the table. Hendery sighed as he combed your hair neatly with his fingers. he understood Xiaojun for taking care of his childhood friend but he was disappointed Xiaojun made you feel like this. Hendery decided to call Xiaojun to pick you up. He felt like it was only right for him as a friend to help his friends out.

A few minutes later,Hendery tried waking you up. you woke up with a groan and clutched your head. "are you sober enough to walk?". Hendery asked as he held your shoulder. you nodded and stood up slowly. Hendery helped you and walked out of the restaurant with you . the moment the two of you stepped out of the restaurant, Xiaojun ran towards you . "babe!". he exclaimed as he took you from Hendery. your head was still spinning but you figured Xiaojun's face. you turned to Hendery as he gave you a small smile. "rest well, alright?". Hendery said before excusing himself.

"why did you drink so much babe?" . Xiaojun asked as he piggybacked you. you leaned your head on his back and sighed. "i was sad. i was angry. i was tired.". you replied word by word. you felt the wind as Xiaojun walked on the empty street, bringing you home.

"do you want to tell me why?". Xiaojun asked softly. your heart broke. of course you were sad and angry because of him. but his sweet and innocent self just couldn't realise that. "i love you Jun... i hope you do too. please stay with me.". you breathed out, holding yourself back from crying. Xiaojun stopped in his tracks for a bit but continued walking right after . "of course i love you too. i am here always, by your side.".

you fell asleep on his comfortable back as you felt assured.

~

you wore Xiaojun's favourite baby blue blouse and styled your hair simply with some light make up. you were excited for your movie date. you were at the cinema , waiting for your boyfriend. he promised to be there half an hour before the movie starts. but coming to 10 minutes before showtime, he was still not there. you tried texting him but the messages were not delivered. maybe his phone battery died, you thought. you tapped your foot nervously as you scanned the place for your boyfriend.

4 mins

3mins

2mins

1mins

showtime.

you sighed and held your head down sadly. *did he forget about our date?* . you were about to exit the cinema when someone called your name. you turned and were greeted by Hendery. he really was like your guardian angel. there whenever you were sad.

"are you here alone? what movie are you watching?". Hendery asked. you smiled sadly and shook your head. "today was supposed to be our movie date but Xiaojun is not here. i tried contacting him but he didn't reply. i think i should just go back.". you explained.

Hendery frowned at his friend's actions. He really was disappointed in Xiaojun.

"how about we watch a movie together? hmm i was thinking, Dora The Explorer?". Hendery suggested, trying to cheer you up. you chuckled at his unique choice of movie and nodded. "that is a great idea! let's go!". you agreed and grabbed his wrist to buy the tickets.

during the movie, Hendery suddenly heard soft sniffings. He turned to look at you and sighed . you were wiping your tears that were flowing down your cheeks non-stop. it was obvious you were crying because of Xiaojun, the movie wasn't even a sad one. Hendery grabbed your hands and squeezed them to comfort you. he then pulled your head to lean on his shoulder. "it's okay sweetie, it's okay. i am always here to comfort you.". Hendery whispered as he carressed your hair. his sweet words calmed you throughout the movie. you were sorry to Hendery for always being stuck in your relationship, but you were also grateful to have him as a good friend.

after the movie, you went to the ladies to freshen up . Hendery waited for you and invited you to dinner. "how about we go to the usual? i kind of like the concept of having our hangout place.". you said as you walked out of the cinema with Hendery. Hendery chuckled but agreed to your suggestion anyway. dinner made your day. you decided to totally ignore your thoughts about Xiaojun and spend quality time with your now new bestfriend. you and Hendery shared a lot of things with each other , from cute childhood stories to epic highschool memories. you also found out that the both of you were big fans of Attack on Titans and Tokyo Ghoul. Hendery promised to lend you his AOT mangas as you promised to recommend him other great animes and mangas. the day eventually ended with Hendery walking you home. "thank you so much for today Hendery. i am very thankful to have you as my friend.". Hendery smiled at your words and patted your head. "i am always here if you are im need of a friend. the restaurant is always open for us to have more fun.". you thanked him again and bid him goodnight as you entered your apartment.

you plopped yourself on the couch and fished out your phone.

♡BaobeiJun♡

omg babe... i didn't realise that my phone was turned off >○<

♡BaobeiJun♡

i overlooked the date for our movie date .. i am really sorryyy

♡BaobeiJun♡

my mom asked me to bring Weiwei around the city. i agreed because i thought our date is tomorrow...

♡BaobeiJun♡

i am really sorry babe,, please reply my messages

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe? i understand that you are mad at me...

♡BaobeiJun♡

are you at least safe back home?

you threw your phone on the couch as you stood up. you decided to just ignore his texts. you were really mad. not just because he ditched you on the most awaited date, but he ditched you as he spent time with another girl. you knew Xiaojun was just being kind but is he really dense to not draw the line? you didn't want your relationship to be ruined by a girl who suddenly appeared in your life. you thought your relationship with Xiaojun was strong , but recent incidents made you doubtful. you washed up and went to bed straight away.

you woke up the next morning feeling a bit better after a goodnight sleep. you were having your light breakfast when you heard a knock from the front door. you groaned as you weren't expecting any guests.

you opened the door only to push it back close as you see his face. but before the door could close fully, Xiaojun held onto it with his leg. "babe please let me in.". he begged. you contemplated for a bit but opened the door anyways. you quickly walked away before he could hug you. Xiaojun followed you to the kitchen as he called out your name softly. Xiaojun wrapped his arms around your shoulders but you harshly pushed him away and faced him.

"Xiaojun. i am tired. please, i am tired of being mad with you and settle my feelings with a hug from you. this is not that simple, Jun. i love you , i really do. but the amount of times you've hurt me in these 2 months is more than the whole 2 years that we've spent together..". you confessed.

Xiaojun tried to pull you into a hug but you rejected. you wiped the tears that were flowing down your cheeks as you continued. "why do you think i was drunk the other night? you think i wanted to feel depressed like that? you think everything was back to normal when you came to pick me up?!". you didn't intend to raise your voice at him but your emotions were unstable.

Xiaojun was startled at your outburst. he looked at you with teary eyes. you sighed as you sat on the floor and pulled your legs before burying your face in between them. your sobs echoed through the silent kitchen. you felt Xiaojun moving closer. he squatted beside you and wrapped his arms around your body before pulling you into his warm chest. "i'm sorry , i'm sorry, sshhh i'm sorry, i love you babe, i really love you . i'm sorry i hurt you, i love you really. i am here now and i promise i won't leave you.". Xiaojun whispered in an attempt to comfort your broken heart. you finally gave in and cried out into his chest.

a few moments later, Xiaojun carried you into your bedroom. he lied down beside you and pulled you closer. you buried your face into the crook of his neck and sniffed in his scent. you relaxed in his arms as you calmed yourself down. "i missed you so much,". he mumbled as he pecked your head. the two of you lied down in silence, enjoying each other's presence and calm breathing. Xiaojun was about to fall asleep when his ringtone startled the both of you. you slowly pulled away from him to give hin space to sit up. Xiaojun rubbed his eyes cutely as he searched for his phone. you couldn't help but giggle at the cute sight and although you were still a bit mad, you didn't hold yourself back from giving him a quick peck on the lips. Xiaojun froze at your sudden action before slowly reaching for his phone. he was used to receiving kisses from you but he was suddenly shy after the fight , his ears turned red . you giggled at his reaction and nudged him to do something about his phone. "i--i'll take this call for a while okay?" he stuttered. you nodded before lying down back on your bed.

after the short call, Xiaojun turned to face you with a guilty expression. "babe.. i really want to spend time with you but this is urgent. Weiwei is having troubles with settling her project and i have to go help. i am really sorry babe.". Xiaojun explained and apologised.

you sighed, just when you thought it was back to normal, everything was about to be ruined again. "it's urgent right? let me walk you to the front door.". you said as you got off the bed. Xiaojun gulped as he sensed your sarcasm. he followed you out of the room like a puppy. "i'm really sorry babe.. how about i take you on a date on Saturday?". Xiaojun tried to persuade you. you gave a small smile and pushed him out off your apartment gently. "i can't. i have plans.". you replied and quickly closed your front door. you heard Xiaojun knocked for a few minutes, begging you to open the door but he then stopped when you ignored him . you figured he finally gave up and went to settle his urgent matters.

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe... what plans do you have that i can't spend time with you?

you rolled your eyes at his message and were tempted to just throw your phone on the ground. he had been ignoring your daily life activities because of his own but had the audacity to suddenly act caring when you finally gave him the cold shoulder. you ignored his message and decided to text Hendery .

To : Huang Guanheng

hey Hendery, i was thinking if you could accompany me this Saturday? i am finally casted for the drama i auditioned for recently and this Saturday is our first shooting. i am quite nervous to go alone...

you waited for a few seconds before Hendery replied.

-Huang Guanheng-

oh sure!! just tell me the time and place ,alright?

you smiled at his response and quickly informed him the details. you were glad he didn't ask about Xiaojun . he really was a friend with good sense.

~

the day finally came. you met up with Hendery early and decided to get some breakfast together. "you can do it , y/n . don't be too nervous or else you wouldn't be able to focus. here drink some hot tea, to calm you down.". you thanked him for his advice and comforting words. after the short breakfast, the both of you went to the shooting venue.

the site for the rehearsed scene was outdoor. the hot weather was not really helping with your nerves. you practised your lines as much as possible as the stylists prepared you before you were called to the site. you were only a side character but your character actually plays quite an important role in the drama. Hendery gave you a supporting pat as your turn came.

you did a good job with your lines but your co-actor kept on making mistakes. because of that the scene you were in had to be filmed for a few times. you tried to be consistent in the quality of your performance but the hot weather made you exhausted. you were sweating like mad that the stylists had to wipe them for you every few minutes.

the director finally gave a break time, asking your co-actor to calm his nerves and practise his line again. you were glad the director was nice enough to be patient with him . if you were the director, you would have screamed at him. you saw Hendery waving at you as you walked towards him . Hendery's smile turned into a frown as he saw your pale face. he quickly caught you as you stumbled. "are you okay?". he asked as he tried supporting you to stand up straight. "i am a bit dizzy," you managed to reply as you clutched your head. just as you spoke, your body felt weak and you fainted. Hendery's eyes widened as he wrapped his arm under your body and carried you. "ambulance! somebody call the ambulance!" .

~

Hendery : Dejun, your girlfriend just fainted . she is admitted to the hospital now.

Xiaojun : what? tell me the hospital address, i am on my way.

Hendery : alright, come here safely .

Hendery ended the call as he sat beside your bed. he carressed your head and sighed. a few minutes later, Xiaojun arrived . Hendery stood up and greeted his friend. Xiaojun gave Hendery a brotherly hug and went to you who were still sleeping. he held your cheek dearly and pecked your forehead. "what happened?". Xiaojun asked Hendery softly. "she was at the shooting site earlier--". Hendery's words were cut off by Xiaojun. "wa-wait, she was casted ?". Hendery frowned and nodded. "didn't she tell you?" . Xiaojun looked at you sadly and hesitated a nod. "kind of...". Hendery nodded before explaining further. "she fainted after her turn. the doctor said she was too stressful and dehydrated . that was why she fainted. but the doctor said to not worry, a rest and lots of water can make her feel better.". Xiaojun sat beside your bed and held your hand. "i see, thank you Guanheng.". Hendery nodded and stood beside Xiaojun. Xiaojun stayed by your side till night. Hendery stayed too. he was worried about both of his friends . "Dejun.. you've been here since afternoon. why not we go take some fresh air and have dinner ? y/n wouldn't want you to fall ill too.". Hendery patted his friend's shoulder. Xiaojun contemplated for a while but agreed to his friend's suggestion . he pecked your hand for the last time before leaving the hospital.

"which restaurant is still open at this hour?". Xiaojun asked as he checked the time. it was late night. Hendery grinned and patted his back. "i know the perfect place.".Hendery sat on his usual spot while Xiaojun sat on yours. the owner greeted them and passed the menus. "Guanheng! you didn't come with your girlfriend today?". Hendery blinked at her question as Xiaojun stared at Hendery. "you have a girlfriend?". Xiaojun asked. Hendery shook his head and tried to reply the owner. "no no auntie, she is not my gi--". his words were cut off when the owner exclaimed. " ah y/n ! she isn't here today.". Xiaojun's expression was unreadable. Hendery gulped and shook his head. "may we just look at the menu and order ,auntie?". the oblivious owner smiled and nodded before going back to the counter.

"this is just a misunderstanding Dejun.". Hendery started as he stared at the menu that he had memorised by heart. Xiaojun was silent for a bit but smiled . "i understand Guanheng. don't worry. why not we just order?i am starving!!". Hendery knew Xiaojun was just pretending to be okay. Xiaojun and you were really soulmates. hiding your real feelings. Hendery nodded and ordered some food.

the meal was silent and calm. both too occupied with their own thoughts. after the meal, Xiaojun paid for the food and thanked Hendery once again. "why not you go home and rest? i will be with y/n.". Xiaojun said in a matter of factly. not really as a suggestion. Hendery nodded and bid his friend goodnight before going back home.

Xiaojun stayed with for the whole night. you woke up to see your boyfriend sleeping, head on the edge of your bed. you carressed his soft brown locks gently as you stared at his calm sleeping face. Xiaojun's eyes opened slowly as he sat up. he grabbed your hand and pecked them before asking. "are you feeling better ?". you only nodded and squeezed his hand. "did Hendery call you?". Xiaojun hummed in response. his other hand balled into a fist as he heard his friend's name. "the doctor said you can discharge after you eat your breakfast. he said to drink lots of water and rest well.". your eyes widened when you realised you were at job when you fainted. you quickly searched for your phone to check for any messages. "missing Hendery already?". Xiaojun asked with gritted teeth. you looked up from your phone and frowned. "what?". Xiaojun smirked and scoffed. "nothing.". you turned back to your phone and read the text from one of the staffs.

-we hope you have a good rest. we are sorry for not considering your condition , we will update you about the next shootings. for now, we just want you to have a good rest- .

you sighed in relief as you finished reading the text. you thought you were going to be replaced by another actress. you placed your phone down and looked at Xiaojun who was staring at you. "have you eaten?". you asked. Xiaojun shook his head and rubbed his face with his hands. "i'll eat later after sending you home. i don't have the appetite to eat.". you frowned at his answer and placed your hand on his cheek as you carressed them gently. "please eat well. i don't want you to fall ill.". you said softly. Xiaojun gave a small smile and nodded.

in the cab on the way to your house, you leaned your head on Xiaojun's shoulder as he rubbed your interwined hands with his thumb. you jumped when you heard your phone ring.

*incoming call from Huang Guanheng*

you looked at Xiaojun as he nodded his head letting you answer the phone.

Hendery : are you home?

You : i'm on my way home in the cab. I am with Xiaojun.

Hendery : that is great . rest well okay? and y/n .. did you not tell him about the drama?

you kept silent at his question. Hendery called your names a few times .

You : i will alright. don't worry .

Hendery : he is your boyfriend,he should know.

you nodded your head as if he was in front of you.

You : okay okay, stop nagging, gosh.

Hendery chuckled at your response and advised you one last time before ending the call.

Xiaojun squeezed your hand right after you kept your phone. you leaned back onto his shoulder before calling his name out softly.

"babe,, i wanted to tell you but i was mad the other day. i actually got casted for the drama that i auditioned for the last time.". Xiaojun was quiet for a while. he carressed your hand and pecked your forehead. "congrats babe. see, i told you you would make it. you are talented.". he whispered. you smiled and pecked his cheek as you thanked him. you decided to just relax in silence as the cab took you back home.

~

you plopped on your couch as you arrived home. Xiaojun locked the front door and joined you on the couch. you switched on the TV and searched for fun shows to watch. "hey would you like some tea?". Xiaojun offered. you smiled and nodded . Xiaojun went to the kitchen to make some tea for the both of you. he thought this gave him some time to gather his courage for the words he was about to say . he hoped the tea would calm the both of you before the storm comes.

he placed both cups on the coffee table. your eyes were still stuck to the TV as you sipped on the hot tea. you turned to Xiaojun when he suddenly lowered down the volume of the TV. Xiaojun gave a small smile as he reached for your hands. he gave them a squeeze before starting his speech.

"y/n. we need to talk. i don't think this is going to work between us..". you frowned at his words and remembered what he said earlier. "is this because of Hendery? Xiaojun. i've been patient for almost three months now when you have to entertain Weiwei but just because of your jealousy towards Hendery , you want to break up? Hendery is just a friend! ". you asked , obviously disappointed with him . Xiaojun shook his head as he pulled his hands away from yours. "it's not just jealousy, okay?!". you were startled when he raised his voice. Xiaojun sighed and ruffled his hair roughly. "it's not jealousy...". his voice was back to his usual soft voice. "it's a realisation. i realised that Hendery can take care of you better than I can . he treats you better than me. you deserve a man better than me.". you frowned at his what you would say nonsensical excuses.

"no... i don't want to break up with you. i love you Xiaojun! don't you love me too? you promised me you are going to be by my side always.". you said as tears trickled down from your eyes. Xiaojun wiped his own tears as he looked into your eyes. "i do.. i love you. i love you so much therefore we can't be together. i love you so much i don't want to see you hurt . i love you so much i want you to know that you deserve better. i love you... but we are not meant to be with each other.".

your palms turned into fists as you hit his chest. "you stupid jerk! that doesn't make any sense! if you love me, stay with me! don't give up on me!". you shouted as you hit him. Xiaojun grabbed your wrists as he pulled you into a hug. "i love you. this is for your best.". he whispered and pecked your forehead for the last time . Xiaojun stood up and went out of your apartment, leaving you crying on the couch.

- Xiao Dejun -

Guanheng, please take care of y/n .

Hendery cursed under his breath as he read the message from his friend. "what did this idiot do this time." Hendery mumbled as he rushed to your apartment.

Hendery arrived at your house a few minutes after Xiaojun left. the door was unlocked. Hendery quickly went in only to be greeted by your sleeping figure on the couch. he locked the front door and went to you. Hendery sighed as he saw you tear-stained face. he wiped your dry tears and carried you to your room. "she was just healing and you decided to break her again.". Hendery mumbled as he placed you on your bed. you stirred in your sleep and woke up slowly. you saw Hendery standing beside your bed with a worried look. he sat on the edge of your bed and held your hands. "he is an idiot. i am going to talk to him later alright? he is going to make this wo--". his words were cut off as you shook your head. "no Hendery. he is not going to turn back anymore. i know him. this is what he wanted. he thinks this is the best choice.". you tried to say but broke down right after. Hendery sighed and pulled your head towards his chest. "i'm here. i'm here. it's okay , just cry it all out. maybe this is for the best afterall. you are precious y/n and i am here to protect you always.". Hendery comforted you.

.

.

.

.

"and the best actress award goes to , Y/N !!".

the crowd cheered as you stood up from your chair, surprised that you had won the award. you bowed to your seniors and juniors as you walked up to the stage. you received the plaque from the announcer and went to the front to give your winning speech.

"first of all i would like to thank my parents for always supporting me . i thank my fans too for loving my works! i will work harder and improve myself better and better. i would like to thank those who i have worked with. without them, i might not even have the chance to be an actress and moreover, win this award. not to forget , i would also like to thank this amazing person, my friend, Hendery. thank you for being by my side all these years especially these past 4 years. he is a really good producer so check out some of his musics alright? lastly, thank you once again!". you felt your legs tremble as you went back to your seat.

♡Huang Guanheng♡

good job sweetie! and thank you for mentioning me, i am happy i could be by your side.

you smiled as you read his text. you looked up to the stage when you heard the MC called a familiar name.

"before we end the show, we would like to invite this show's biggest sponsor, from the company DJX , Mr Xiaojun , to accept our appreciation gift.". you gulped when you saw the handsome man on the stage. his previous brown locks were now blonde. his smile was still the same like before. but his features were more defined as he matured throughout these years. you gave a small smile when he looked at you and quickly looked away . *you've moved on y/n. don't give in to him.* you thought to yourself.

~

you were standing at a corner with a glass of fruitpunch, waiting for your manager to bring you back. you didn't really enjoy after-event parties but attended anyways out of politeness. you were looking around when you saw Xiaojun walked towards you. you looked up and accidentally stared right into his brown orbs. Xiaojun looked away as his ears turn red. it's been 4 years but you were still as beautiful as ever. he missed you. you still made his heart skip a beat. you smiled as he stood in front of you. "it's been a while, Xiaojun.". the way his real name rolled off your tongue hurt him . he nodded and finally looked at you. "so you and Hendery are together now?". he asked. you chuckled and shook your head. "he is just a friend. a brother. i told you before, didn't i?". you replied with a small smile. Xiaojun looked down sadly but looked back up to you. "y/n. i'm really sorry...". you chuckled again and patted his shoulder. "let the past be past ,Xiaojun. i actually wanted to thank you for all the bittersweet memories. they really help me alot in my acting . experience is what makes it easier to stay in character.". your words hurt him. like how his words hurt you 4 years ago. before Xiaojun could say anything, you were called by your manager. "oh looks like i got to go. see you when i see you!". you waved at him before leaving the ballroom.

Xiaojun sighed as he stared at your back walking away from him. he would be lying if he said he didn't regret leaving you. his life has been nothing but miserable after breaking up with you. he focused on work to distract himself but his soul was empty. before he could leave the venue, he heard the DJ introducing a song. "before leaving, the actress y/n had requested this song. she hoped all of you enjoy it.".

Xiaojun decided to stay and listened to the song you love .

I’ll love you more

If you’re gonna do that, don’t come to me

If a person like me is gonna be erased anyway

Our love that was written down on a white piece of paper

Was clear just like my tears

Just stay by my side for one day

Because this awkward break-up still feels like a dream

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

And let you go

Words that sounded affectionate like a friend

Words I want to hear several times a day

Words saying you love me

It makes my breath stop and heart race

But only your voice sleeps in my memories

Just stay by my side for one day

Because this awkward break-up still feels like a dream

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

Until you come back

You silently stop in place

With eyes, telling me not to forgive you

I guess this really won’t work

Now all there’s left is this crappy break-up

I try to catch you but you get farther away and disappear

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

And let you go

{ NU'EST - Love You More }

Xiaojun wiped his tears that flowed down without him even noticing.

♡BaobeiJun♡

i know it's too late... but i love you . i have always been loving you . i should've have loved you more instead of leaving you. i love you .

i hope you guys enjoyed this~ my feelings were overwhelmed when i wrote this hahaha anyways, do like and comment ! i love to hear to your feedbacks ♡♡

#wayv #wayv xiaojun #wayv xiao dejun #xiaojun #xiao dejun #xiaojun imagines #xiaojun angst #xiaojun fluff #wayv imagines #wayv angst #wayv fluff #wayv hendery #wayv huang guanheng #huang guanheng #guanheng #hendery imagines #hendery angst #hendery fluff #nct xiaojun #nct hendery #nct imagines #nct angst #nct fluff

[timebird84]

This is a positive anon here to tell you that you are amazing and wonderful. The care, support, and dedication which you have for this blog and community are truly inspiring. Not to mention I'm in love with your artwork and photos. Thanks for being you, and please accept this virtual love on my behalf.

Whoever sent this: Thank you so so much!!! I’m really suffering a bit lately from tumblr being so unusual silent these days and I somehow feel like I’m losing contact to the phandom I’ve learnt to love so much without being able to do anything against it. I know its final time and stuff, so I might just exaggerate and it’s just me whining, but it makes me sad and leads to me having absolutely no energy left to produce anything creative myself. But for real, your words make me so beyond happy, they mean so much! It’s so great to see that you chose me among others to send anon love to *crying*! God, maybe it’s just that time of the months, really sorry for my whining and getting so emotional! So, HELL YES, I totally accept your virtual love and please take mine as well in return!

#anonymous #timebird84 answers #I love the phandom so much #hugs for y'all

[kittensjonsa]

For @jonsa-week 's Day 1:

Greed ~ The Father (Justice) ~ Fave book quote (Jon, A Storm of Swords - pg 617)

Summary: Revenge was all he wanted and it didn’t matter how he got it. But Jon knew he had bitten off more than he can chew the moment he laid his eyes on Sansa Stark - daughter of the well loved and respected man in all of Westeros and recent widower turned priest, Ned Stark. 

Rated G, 2k+ words, may turn smutty. Angsty, a snippet of Jonsa, dark Jon and to be continued (maybe I don’t know yet..)

In The Name of The Father

Justice. It was all he wanted. The plans he had didn't have any room for any incidences. Nothing at all. Just get in, get it done and get out. He was prepared, or at least he thought so.

“Something troubling you, son?”

Jon jumped slightly at the call. Turning around slowly as calm and confident footsteps approached him, Jon managed a small smile of greeting. A small creak told him the priest had just taken a seat in the pew just behind his.

“Well, isn't everyone who comes here?”

A small grin and a chuckle escaped the sombre priest. “True. Aren't we all? Well if there's anything you need, confess or anything, I'll be right here.”

Confess. A heavy word worth its weight in guilt and remorse. He had a confession, truth be told but tonight was not the night. Oh the things he could tell, but he shouldn't. Not to Father Ned Stark.

“I'm sorry, Father.. but I'm afraid.. I'm not Catholic. I just came here to take a breather. It's very.. peaceful here.”

It wasn't prayer nor intercession he was after. Nor a minute of peaceful solitude. He had enough of those growing up alone.

Forgiveness. That was on his mind, the moment he stepped into the church. He feared he would vanish and spontaneously combust, on such sacred premises, for the vile things he had done but he guessed going to hell didn't work that way. Jon had a feeling he had one foot in it already.

“How could you? You animal!” Sansa's cries were acid, burning right through him.

“I fell in love with you! To think I gave you all of me, my heart was yours! A-and you.. you just stomped on it? How dare you even come here!”

“Sansa, you're not listening to me.. please just listen.”

Sansa shook her head and rubbed away at the tears that were flowing freely. Oh, how it hurts. She gave herself to him. All of her; mind, body and soul. She would do anything for him. Anything to make him happy. He was her best friend, her soul mate. But how could her feelings be so wrong?

Sansa screamed in anger as Jon stepped closer. She was done. The lies, oh God, the lies!

“No! Don't touch me! We are done! Don't ever come near me ever again! You.. are dead to me.”

No words had ever punched him in the gut like Sansa’s..Jon could only watch as Sansa ran away from him, driving off and leaving him alone by the river. The night was unbearably cold all of a sudden. Their favourite spot and where they kissed for the first time. He shouldn't care nor remember these things, but he did. Good lord, he did.

The stab that pierced through his heart was one he didn't expect. Perhaps he did love her too. .

But.. Mother. And Arthur.

He was greedy. Greedy for things to be set right. Greedy for vengeance. For vindication. But he had no right to break her heart. And for what it's worth, his too.

His happiness meant nothing if he didn't have any peace. One that would come in the aftermath of finally knowing who had taken everything away from him and getting payback. It was all that mattered. Wasn't it?

Maybe prayer was what he needed, subconsciously as what good left in him was desperately trying to claw its way out. But he didn't believe in God. What God would allow such things; what happened to his mother and Arthur, and more importantly to him, making him this way causing hurt and grief to someone he actually loved?

Pray then. Pray to your new Gods, and I'll pray to my old ones.

And they are Revenge, Betrayal and Blackmail.

Jon shut his eyes, remorseful for thinking such thoughts in such a place. But how hypocritical, it seemed to him, considering what he had done. And he had done enough. It stung him still, remembering how her warm tears dampened the palm of his hands. How her heartbreaking pleas shook him to his very core. Yes, he had done enough.

Jon could hear the priest's smile. A warm, genuine and kind smile. “Yes, I suppose it is. Well, not to worry we welcome everyone here.”

Sinners are we and sinners we shall die. None redeemed. At least not me, Jon thought.

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

His eyes shifted to the floor and held his head low before standing up to leave Jon alone. He had been a priest long enough to know when he was not needed. And it seemed to him this dishevelled young man, with dark eyes and unruly curls probably cherished his moment of solitude before he walked in.

“Nice to meet you then. I shall leave you in your peace. I'm Father Ned and I hope if you feel like you ever need a place to breathe, you'll come here.”

“Thank you Father Ned. I'll take you up on that offer.”

And perhaps.. more.

SIX MONTHS EARLIER

“What? What do you mean you can't tell me? What is it?”

Sam clicked the mouse and whirled his chair around to face Jon. He hoped he had better news to tell him.

“You've got to promise me you're not going anything stupid. You can't. Promise me, Jon.”

“All right. I promise. So go on then... Oh for fuck's sake, Sam! Out with it!”

Sam turned and tapped on the computer screen.

“That man you've been looking for all this while? The one you think had something to do with your mother's death? That's him right there. The private investigator sent me this.”

Jon grunted and glared at Sam before setting his gaze on the screen.

“So that's him. I've got to look for him then.”

“And do what Jon? Ask him questions, interrogate him? I know what's going through your mind and I think it's best if you don't.. do anything at all.”

Jon looked at the name again. And the stealth pictures that came with it. He needed to decide now. Closure, that's it. Though it puzzled him why Sam was so concerned. He knew how much he needed this. Sam, of all people.

“And why shouldn't I?”

“You're mad, angry, pissed off. You've been like this ever since you started this whole investigation thing. Dude, listen to me, just don't do it.”

“And isn't that the exact reason why I should? It's called closure, Sam. Besides, who the hell is h-”

“He's mother fucking Ned Stark, that's why!” Sam objected.

Ned Stark. I'll remember that name for as long as I live.

“So, who's he?” Jon asked, though he had heard of him before.

“You're kidding right? A Westerosi legend. The lawyer who brought the Boltons to their knees and best friend of the late President Robert Baratheon. How do you not know all this?”

Jon stared at the pictures once more and shrugged. Probably a good thing he didn't. Makes it all the more easier. He was too busy trying to survive the past twenty years or so, doing his best on the cold hard streets than to mind about politics or gossip.

“But.. it looks like he isn't one anymore. Or retired. I mean, look the photos. He's a priest, Sam.”

“Dude give that guy a break. He just lost his wife and his two sons. He's found God and maybe that's how it's supposed to be. I mean, come the fuck on, Snow!”

And I lost my mother.

Jon didn't like the tone in Sam's plea. Why should one man's redemption be more important than his poor mother's? A life snatched away from him much too soon. The years spent in foster homes, in the orphanage and trying to seek some form of solace and God forbid it, even love - was a painful sorrow no one would ever understand.

“Stop fucking telling me about this man! His life is no more important than what my mother could have had! You don't fucking tell me how that's like, Tarly. No one can and best you don't say anything about this anymore.”

“No, Jon I didn't mean that!  You know that. Come on, Jon! Jon!” Sam's words fell on deaf ears as Jon grabbed his coat and left. Nobody tells me what the fuck to do. Not Sam, not even God. Whoever the fuck they are, Jon screamed in his head.

Days went by without as much as a call from Sam, Jon knew he was smart enough to leave him be but still he wished they could talk. A text or two dinged but Jon chose to ignore them. He had more important things on his mind. Rubbing his tired eyes, Jon decided to call it a night from staring at the computer.

The research and probing had gotten a little too mundane, the more he learned about Ned Stark, the more he uncovered - which was really how Ned Stark was practically Captain Westeros, a well loved man, an upright citizen with morals of steel. There was not an ounce of dirt on him except one tabloid article years ago that depicted him leaving the scene of an infamous night club with the late former President Baratheon. But that was only because the former late President was a bad boy with bad habits, it wasn't really about Ned Stark per se.

How are you connected to my mother's death? Jon wondered. Something's gotta give, no one can be that good.

Jon needed to do something different, he needed more. He had set out to find the truth and right now, he'd do just about anything for it. Anything.

The Stark family radiated pure happiness and perfection, from the web portrait alone, one that rudely yelled out at him.

Such a pretty family.

It made him sick to his stomach, to think that that could have been a portrait of him and his mother and Arthur Dayne. His own family where he was loved and protected. Arthur wasn't family but he was the closest father figure he had in someone and the only confidante his mother trusted. Arthur probably loved his mother too, Jon was certain. They were happy and Jon's life was perfect. Just like the picture of the Starks.

Till a note found in his mother's cold dead hands with a scribbled 'Eddard Stark' destroyed everything he held dear.

And there he was, Father Ned Stark.

Ned Stark, a name that made a six year old Jon an orphan that day and since then he made a vow. Devoting the rest of his life to avenge his beloved mother. Even if it meant hurting someone along the way. He was more than willing and growing up fending for himself went on to equip him with the skills he needed. Jon had years in preparation for this.

They've got to pay, Mama. Someone has to.

“Sansa! Sans! There's someone here to see you,” Jeyne called out from the bottom of the stairs.

Sansa almost jumped and dropped the pencil in her hand. Good thing she wasn't writing anything important or else she'd have to rewrite the notes.

That's weird. Who could it be? Sansa checked her watch again and grunted at the time. It was going to be the third time she was late this week.

“She'll be right down. What was your name again? Jay, was it?”

Jon nodded with a smile. “Yes, it is. I'm actually here for the caretaker position? I believe it was posted in the jobs section in the papers.”

Jeyne eyed him warily. She didn't recall putting an advertisement out for anything lately. If Sansa did, she'd definitely inform her. Yet not even a mention of it. Jeyne didn't quite like the idea of strangers coming up to the Stark's private residence looking for jobs. Regardless of how dark and handsome they turn out to be. But then again, perhaps she might be taking her job as Sansa's personal assistant a little too seriously to care this much.

I'm sure it's nothing, just a guy looking for a job.

“I see. Sansa did mention once that they needed a caretaker here to help with house and the dogs. Though that might have been a few weeks ago and the applications are closed. But maybe she hadn't found one yet. So.. you're okay with dogs though right?”

Jon shrugged. “Dogs? Sure, I love dogs. I have one of my own. Ghost, his name is. Big large white dog. He's a good boy.”

Jeyne nodded approvingly. “Well, all right then. I have to go and leave you in Sansa's good hands. I was just here to collect some paperwork. Nice to meet you, Jay. Oh, and good luck!”

Jon waved a polite goodbye as he closed the door and resumed waiting by the stairs. Beads of sweat were pooling on his forehead. Jon inhaled deeply. So close. He was so close and everything was going according to plan. Jon knew he was at the right place and at the right time and he was mightily pleased with himself.

That is, until - he saw her. Sansa Stark.

“Jay? Hi, sorry to keep you waiting. I'm Sansa. Nice to meet you.”

Nice indeed.

Fuck.

#jonsa #jon x sansa #jonsa week #day 1 #dark jon #revenge #modern au