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#where you see short bits of everyone finding their way back to a recreated world and having this awful feeling
mxdotpng · 2 years
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im writing a fic on the parties pov's after ch 26 & i dont know. if i should..
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disco-troy · 2 years
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Duke and Jason
The interesting thing about Duke’s relationship with Jason is that though he is a part of the family, he wasn’t really there for a lot of the divisive things that happened when Jason came back. Duke also never knew Jason beforehand or encountered the ghost of previous Jason; Dick, Babs and Bruce knew Jason before, Tim, Cass, Steph, and almost everyone else had to live with the ghost of Jason’s death haunting their moves and their relationships with Bruce, before Jason came back. Duke, meanwhile, joined after Jason’s return, and for him the status quo has always been what it is. To Jason, having someone who never thought of him as different than the Jason he is would be very important to him. Despite Duke’s knowledge of the past, sometimes distance makes the biggest difference - and Duke has the luxury of not having any emotional entanglements into who Jason was.
In addition, Duke comes at a time where Jason is able to openly admit he has brothers - and very much considers him to be one.
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Artemis: Honestly? It was like kissing my brother. If I had one. Jason: Thank god! I was thinking the same thing. And I have four.
On Jason’s side, he seems to have decided to take a sort of mentorship role for Duke. The main instance is in the Roll Call short story in which Jason and Duke do a fight simulation on a very high level and Jason shares his hard-won wisdom.
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Panel One -  Jason: Lesson number one: quips and retorts should only be used for distraction.
Panel Two- Jason: Find your own way. Because following in the Batman’s footsteps and being something that you’re not -- is the fastest way to get killed
Panel Three- Jason: No. That’s a given. Lesson number four? No matter how you feel or what you think... you’re never alone
Jason makes sure to tell Duke that no matter what, he’s never alone. Jason wants Duke to know that no matter what, he will always have his back but it means more than that. Jason had long periods of time where he thought he was abandoned, and he lashed out as a result; hurting himself and others. A lot of the advice Jason gives Duke is not only useful things, but things Jason wished that he knew when he was younger. It seems to imply that Jason might see a bit of himself in Duke, and that he sees it as his responsibility to help Duke become something better.
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Jason: -- How many times are you planning to die, Duke?
Roll call also has a scene that drives me insane in which Jason recreates being beaten to death by the Joker in front of Duke. It's pretty ambiguous whether or not this was on purpose. If it was on purpose, was it to show Duke what happened to him, was it to confront his fears on his own terms with his brother next to him? If it was by accident, did he brush it off to make Duke feel safe, or was he okay with Duke seeing him like that because he trusts Duke? Either way, Jason is comfortable enough around Duke to feel safe with him seeing one of his biggest traumas.
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Joker (standing over Jason with a crowbar): I guess it’s over your dead body
And, after they finish the simulation (and Duke of course jumps right in to help Jason), Jason's right back to joking with Duke.
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Jason: Heads up Narrows, more clay bastards on the horizon. Batwoman and her crew usually warm up in the mud room on a level four practive setting.
Duke continues to help save Jason, notably in the Cheer’s story arc.
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Jason: ... Have your back (urban legends 6)
(Although, it equally drives me insane that despite Duke helping Jason and Bruce in this arc, he’s the only member of the family to not be in both Jason and Bruce’s dream worlds which drives a lot of questions - do they not want Duke to have been a vigilante and thus part of the family? Has Duke's entrance into the family been too recent for them to add them to their fairy dream worlds? Is the author simply forgetting to mention Duke being there even though Duke is in the comic saving Jason and Bruce? My personal interpretation is because Cheer deals very much with Jason wanting the Joker dead, a dead joker means that Duke’s parents were never Jokerized, and thus Duke couldn't be a part of the family in a dream world where Joker was dead.)
Their relationship with what the Joker did to them is another huge parallel between Duke and Jason. When the Joker killed Jason, and when Duke’s parents were Jokerized mark a difference in both of their lives - now divided in the before Joker touched their lives and after. It's interesting to see how both Jason and Duke expected Batman to save them initially, and ended up needing to take their lives into their own hands, though there are huge differences in the way Jason fought for revenge, when Duke’s feelings were expended on fixing his parents and not towards the joker. Of course, the two situations are not completely comparable, but it is a similarity that impacts their lives.
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Duke (to Batman): I know you can save them. My parents. All of them. Just like you always do.
They also have nicknames for each other! Jason calls Duke “Narrows”, which is a pretty outspoken acknowledgment of some of their similarities, being children from Gotham. 
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Panel One - Jason: Narrows, meet crime alley. we do things differently. Find a functional outfit.
Panel Two - Duke: Need help? Jason: No, narrows, I don’t
It is important to note that Duke and Jason’s living situation are not identical, though they are similar - the Narrows is often neglected in Gotham.
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Jim Gordon (about the Narrows) : Its Gotham’s poorest neighborhood. Made up of nearly a dozen diverse communities. Its been let down over and over by the mechanisms put in place in order to protect it. Under-protected. Under-represented. It’s been burned so many times you are practically feel the embers everywhere.
However, as opposed to Jason, Duke did have a stable family as a child, his mom was a social worker and his dad was a construction worker. After his parents were jokerized, Duke had to live in a series of foster homes, so both Jason and Duke (along with Dick) were impacted by the childcare system in Gotham.
In addition to Jason being comfortable sharing himself with Duke, Duke is able to get by with a lot of jokes about sensitive topics in Jason’s life.
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Duke (about Batman): And he’s not my boss. Or the the target of my daddy issues.
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Jason: you’re the latest robin. You’re supposed to... whatever. Brighten his dark side. All that crap. So he doesn’t propose to a villain and then run off and do... This! Duke: Jay, what? Dude, when you were robin you got dead then came back as a vigilante villain! And you’re telling me to “brighten his dark side”. (Batman 33 (2016))
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Duke: Question. Didn’t you die already?
If that had been anyone else, I don't think Jason would have brushed it aside that easily! Anyways, Duke and Jason have a super interesting relationship and I hope more people keep exploring it!
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pardi-real · 7 months
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[AKNK] Butler in Wonderland / Chapter 11 - I Don't Want You to Leave!
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Haures: "Lato... Where have you been?"
Lucas: "I don't think I've seen you for a long time…"
Lato: "Yes, sir. After I saw the Lord off in the hallway… I was looking for Mr. Fennesz all this time."
Fennesz: "Eh… Me?"
Lato: "Yes, that's right. Actually, at that time, I picked up something in the hallway...  I remembered that Mr. Fennesz had fallen down in the hallway… and I thought maybe he dropped it then."
> "No way, that something is...?"
Fennesz: "Could it be… the red diamond jewel...?
Lato: "I don't know if it's a diamond or not, but… I can see that it was a really beautiful stone. Here you go. Don't drop such a beautiful thing, okay?"
What Lato handed to Fennesz... was definitely the 'Red Diamond'.
Fennesz: "I knew it... I must have dropped it that time.  Th-thank goodness… It was found unscathed…"
Lato: "Oh...? Mr. Fennesz, you seem to be a bit teary-eyed...  Was the stone that important?"
Lamli: "Hey, Lato-chi.  Let me ask you something... Do you know what kinda stone this jewel is?"
Lato: "What kind of stone…? I'm not sure… I like beautiful things, but I'm not a gemstone expert. Oh... But didn't they say that it's a 'diamond' earlier?"
Lamli: "...Just as I thought, he didn't seem to know anything about it."
Nac: "Come to think of it, he also said that he wasn't familiar with the original novel… I guess he didn't know that it was an important key to remove the ring."
Fennesz: "Ugh… And yet, I...  I said, 'I wonder if Lato has it hidden...' How could I have doubted my own companion... What a bad person I am…"
Hanamaru: "W-well, well… Fennesz. Everyone makes mistakes…"
Yuhan: "Mr. Hanamaru also doubted him."
Hanamaru: "Yes… I'm sorry."
Lato: "Hmm~… One minute I'm happy to return the stone, and the next I feel down… I don't know what is going on."
> "Actually, this stone is…"
I explained the purpose of the jewel to Lato.
Lato: "I see... So that's what it means. Without the jewel, the Lord cannot return to their world.  Mr. Fennesz. May I have a word?"
Fennesz: "Hmm? What is it?
Lato: "That red stone... Please give it back to me."
Fennesz: "What… W-why?
Lato: "Because... If you have that jewel, the Lord will leave, right? Then I'd rather keep it. Please give it back."
Fennesz: "N-no, no! That's not how it works."
Hanamaru: "Look at that! This is the kinda guy Lato is."
Yuhan: "I-I'm sure that he was joking…"
Lucas: "...I think he's mostly serious about it, though…"
Haures: "Yeah... He is like the real Cheshire Cat.  He kept playing around with us until the very end…"
At any rate... Now that the red jewel is back in my possession, the ring was safely unlocked....  I was now able to return to my world anytime.
[A short while later]
Flure: "I see… So he ended up finding the jewel... no, I mean...  I'm glad you found it, my Lord!"
Ammon: "Hehe. Your true feelings are leaking out, Flure."
Miyaji: "Well... I can understand how Flure feels. With that, I guess this is the end of this recreation....
Berrien: "My Lord, I hope you enjoyed this Halloween event."
> "I really enjoyed it" > "We had a great time"
Berrien: "I see ♪ I am glad to hear you say so."
Teddy: "Me too! It was so much fun to have a tea party with the Lord!"
Lono: "While wondering if it'll make the Lord happy… I guess I had a lot of fun from the very beginning of the preparation~"
Ammon: "For sure. Preparing the garden, making the set... We put in lots of effort for the Lord. Right, Mr. Boschi ♪?"
Boschi: ".......Why are you passing it on to me there? But well… I think I did a good job this time."
Bastien: "Halloween itself is still going on... I guess this is goodbye to the Lord for today. ….I'll miss them."
Muu: "Yes… me too..."
> "Everyone…"
I can take off the golden ring, and return to my original world anytime. Even so, looking at the expressions of everyone gathered here… I started to feel reluctant about leaving, too.
> "I think I'll stay here for a little longer."
Haures: "Huh… My Lord? Then... will you still be here with us?
> "Since I can return anytime"
Lamli: "Yay~! I love you my Lord ♪ Fufu… Master Lucas. You were right about the 'everyone makes a lonely face at the end' strategy!"
> "What... strategy?"
Lucas: "Oops. Please don't worry about it."
Nac: "Yes. Because we really will miss you ♪"
Hanamaru: "Yeah, yeah. So don't say, 'I'm going home after all.'  If you say, 'I'm going home' now... I might die from loneliness."
Teddy: "Ahaha! Mr. Hanamaru, you sound like a rabbit."
Lamli: "Maru-chi is playing the Caterpillar role, though~"
Nac: "It's Butterfly."
Muu: "Fufu… I would rather be a butler than a king!"
The moment I declared that 'I'm staying'... The butlers' faces light up all at once. Seeing their smiles, I realize how much I'm cherished by them.  That was the most delightful gift I could receive.
*Close-up* Berrien: "Fufu… Well, my Lord. What kind of recreation shall we do next?
~ End ~
note: I don't know how well-known it is, but rabbits can in fact die from loneliness. ****Sorry for the misinfo, please forget what was written here. I just did a cross-check
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agentplutonium · 6 months
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WIP Wednesday
I haven't done one of these in forever, and once again haven't been tagged. Either way you guys get the littlest update on what I am working on so that I am held responsible for what I do. ANYWAY
(if ya'll wanna do something too you should tag me! I love seeing people's works :D)
This week I wanna show y'all two snippets, one from my OC work and one from a fandom I rarely talk about on here. I'll start with the fanfic stuff first (all is gonna be under the cut because I think it looks cooler that way)
So, here I present a part of my Cher & Sherlock character study. These guys are from NeXus (created by the one and only @mr-laveau which can be found on their youtube channel). This mostly is just me seeing how my Characterizations of these two listener characters play out with one another. That and I have been itching to write something NeXus related since the second video on the channel. Anyway:
The clock ticked on the wall. There was the occasional shout from outside the apartment. Cher sat at the table, shoulders rigid, fingers tapping the wood beneath them impatiently. The wood was smooth under their arm, the back of the chair digging into their shoulder blades. They wanted to keep moving. They wanted out of here. They wanted to keep everyone safe. Cher was dropped off at Alonzo’s and his partner’s place to be babysat, despite what Uriah told them. He said it was for their safety but they felt Uriah didn’t trust them, or that he thought they couldn’t take care of themselves. It was humiliating. Not to mention this was probably putting the lovers out of their way just to be there with them. They did not want to do that to them. They were not worth the amount of effort the two vampires were putting into them.  Suddenly, a mug was placed before them, snapping out of their thoughts. Owl, what Cher has taken to calling Alonzo’s partner, took the seat across from them, a matching mug in their hands. They were silent, not looking at Cher. Their presence wasn’t… unwanted, but Cher still felt on edge. Their fingers stopped tapping. They couldn’t help but analyze the situation, Owl’s body language, the way they kept their eyes on the mug in their hands, the mug that was left suspended between the two of them. But Owl just fucking sat there. The silence lasted for a few more moments. “It’s just hot chocolate, I’m not trying to kill you,” Owl said, those eyes finally glancing at them. “Thought you might like something to do than just sitting here.”
(You will probably be able to find this fic soon on my AO3 :D)
And now my favourite part of this: the part where I get to show off my OCS. If you haven't seen anything before these two are my god characters. They are the sole reason why in my world anything exists. They are literally my heart and soul you guys i don't know if you understand. ANYWAY, snippet of the creation of the Strix:
Terra had been messing around with different designs for a bit, shaping and reshaping the clay in her hands in an almost bored manner. None of the designs were sticking out to her, and weren’t exactly how she was picturing things. Normally, this wasn’t such a problem. She was usually able to perfectly recreate what she was thinking. However, each time she did just that she found that the design was impractical, or didn’t look the way she imagined it would. In all honesty it was starting to irk her quite a bit.
She was about to give up on the design, but tried one more time. This one was also imperfect, but… Terra thought it had potential. It was a small, winged creature that Terra was going for, but there were a few things that she fixed or added. One of them was a short, curved, needle sharp beak. The other was sharper talons as well. After messing with the colours for a bit, making them a clash of green’s and blue’s, Terra brought the prototype to life. It slowly became mobile, turning it’s head from side to side, watching Terra curiously. Terra held out a finger to it, and it readily hopped over onto it, turning back to Terra and giving a small chirp.
Terra grinned, mouth stretching wide as she watched her creation. “Well, hello, little one,” Terra said gently. “You’re not as big as some of your cousins, but I think you look absolutely adorable.”
The creature chirped in response.
Terra only smiled wider, nose scrunching in the process. “Well then, what shall we name you and your siblings? Hm? Any ideas?”
The creature didn’t respond, only tilting it’s head in the other direction. Terra pursed her lips as she thought.
“What about… finches? No, that’s a bit to human sounding. We need something different.” Terra hummed, reaching up to gently stroke her fingers over the creature’s feathers. She had gotten an idea, and her eyes lit up. “Oh, what about Strix? That’s a fun sounding name. What do you think?” The creature chirped again, and Terra smiled. “I’m so glad. We’ll have to tell Caelus next time we see him, I did promise I’d keep him-”
“Tell me what?” Caelus asked, beside her all of a sudden. He settled next to her on the ground, eyes immediately falling to the Strix. “Never mind. I figured it out.”
Terra gave a sheepish smile, holding out the Strix. “Don’t you think he’s cute, though?”
Caelus didn’t seem like he did. He was never very good at hiding his feelings, especially not from her. “He’s… something,” Caelus said.
Terra swatted at his arm playfully. “Be nice at least. He’s technically yours too.”
Caelus looked spooked by the prospect, however he didn’t have time to comment on it before the Strix was hopping onto his knee. Caelus held as still as possible, eyes not leaving the thing.
“Aw! He likes you!” Terra gushed.
“And, uh… what is he, exactly?” Caelus asked.
“I call them Strix,” Terra said matter-of-factly, but she was already getting distracted.
Caelus stayed like that, staring down this creature. If he was honest, he actually didn’t mind this one all that much. It was a bit of an eyesore, but he was a bit smaller than the others. It was roughly the size of half his forearm in height. A manageable size. The creature chirped at him, and Caelus couldn’t help but give a small smile, reaching forward to cautiously stroke the feathers on the creature’s head. It looked like a freaky bird, he commented to himself.
Terra’s words caught up to him then, and he snapped his gaze to her. “I’m sorry, them? What do you mean them?”
“There’s more than one,” Terra said, like it was obvious, “I just haven’t had the time to make them. But-” She trailed off, taping the ground in front of her, at the feet of a few dozen more. They came to life in a blink, all staring at their companion and at Caelus. It was only a second more before Caelus was swarmed in a flurry of feathers and wings. Terra gasped, watching as the creatures settled and Caelus was covered with the birds.
Caelus did not look happy. Terra tried to keep her giggling subdued.
“Get them off,” Caelus said through his teeth.
“I don’t know, I think this look suits you,” Terra snickered.
“Terra-”
“Okay okay,” Terra said, though her amusement was still evident. She rose to her knees, hands reaching for the creatures, fanning them away or moving them herself. “Come on guys, you heard him. Shoo. Go.”
Caelus was relieved when they were all gone, but he was still grumpy. Terra giggled again.
“Oh come on, It wasn’t that bad! Stop being so grumpy. I saw you smiling at the first one, I know you secretly like them,” Terra teased.
“I do not,” Caelus denied.
“Uh-huh, okay, whatever you say big guy.”
Terra’s amusement was cut short when one of the Strix flew over and pecked at her neck.
“Ow!” She cried out, hand flying to the spot. She frowned at the creature who fluttered in front of her, looking up with that curious gaze of theirs. She pulled her hand away, only for it to come back smeared with blood. Her frown deepened even more.
“Are you okay?” Caelus asked, concern in his tone, half reaching toward her out of habit.
“Yeah,” Terra said, more mystified than in pain. “They shouldn’t… they probably don’t know better. They were just created after all.”
Caelus still seemed wary, but Terra didn’t allow for the conversation to continue. Instead, she started herding the birds up to place in a temporary home until she felt like they could join the rest of the world. It was going to be a while before they were accustomed to their new world, and Terra also had to train them on a few things to keep them safe.
This will be fine, Terra could feel it in her very core.
If you wanna read more, I also have this story about Terra and her realization that Vampires exist.
that is all I have, but but I love talking about my things and am open to any questions, and like I said i'd love to see y'alls work too!!
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notquitecogent · 1 year
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does it feel like magic?
A little contribution to @hellcheer-au-week!
This is to satisfy the prompts Supernatural/Fantasy Setting, Workplace Setting and Rivals.
Look, I don't know where this came from but I'm trying to stretch myself a bit and actually write a multi-chapter with *gasp* a plot!
Rating/Tags may change.
TITLE: does it feel like magic?
PAIRING: Chrissy Cunningham/Eddie Munson (F/M), Stranger Things
RATING: Mature
WORD COUNT: ~3,000
CHAPTER COUNT: 1/3
WARNINGS: recreational drug use, swearing, egregious werewolf lore, attempted banter SUMMARY: In a parallel world of infinite magical possibilities, enterprising young werewolf Eddie Munson is doing... exactly what he'd do in any other universe: desperately trying to scrape together enough money to both survive *and* finally get Corroded Coffin's demo recorded.
The way to do it? Win The Hawk's Nest's Bartender Of The Month grand mega prize. The only thing standing in his way? The new girl on staff, who just so happens to be hiding a few secrets of her own.
** A silly little workplace AU where Werewolf!Eddie and Fae!Chrissy are rival bartenders at a dive in Fantasy Chicago. Read below or on Ao3.
What the FUCK. 
He’s been working at this bar for two years now, building up a steady stream of regulars – not to mention the other members of Corroded Coffin, a solid 40 percent of the Chicago metal community, and his pack (well, if that’s what you could call Jerry the undertaker and Tim from the McDonald’s drive-thru) – and yet none of it seems to count for anything, because the new chick is about to overtake him and win the ultimate, supremo, MEGA jar of tips that’s rightfully his. 
Bartender of the Month, Monty called it; the owner of The Hawk’s Nest had made the competition a signature of the place a year ago to try and drum up more business. It was a dumb gimmick, sure, but it made everyone lift their game, competing to see who could get the most people through the dive’s dingy wooden door. 
And it had worked; the place was hopping most nights, crowded with humans, fae, lycans and more. Harrington had managed to get a bunch of college kids to celebrate their various athletic endeavours there, as well as inviting the many friends (and friends-of-friends) of his steady stream dates – not that any of them came back after the inevitable dumping.
But Fridays belonged to Eddie. It went like this: he’d get into a bit of a groove on whatever topic caught his fancy, climb up on the bar making outlandish pronouncements as he poured whisky into the waiting mouths of his loyal acolytes, and if they asked very nicely (and they always did) whip out Maria and blast them with a ravenous solo until he was dripping with sweat. Then he’d shuck off his inevitably ripped T-shirt, pull beers until 4am, and head home with whoever was left standing. 
Up until two weeks ago, it was a strategy that served him very well. He was leagues ahead of Harrington, his next closest competitor, and the prize – the aforementioned comically oversized cash-stuffed jar – was so close he could taste it. It would more than cover the cost of finally recording a real, honest-to-Satan Corroded Coffin demo, and maybe then all his dreams would come blisteringly true. 
Then she turned up. 
Christine (“it’s just Chrissy, actually” well fuck that, he’d call her by her full name just to piss her off) had swished into his orbit like a little blonde sugarplum fairy, like a cherry blossom come to life in her fluffy pink crop top and pristine white jean shorts. 
She looked unbelievably out of place against the dark panelled walls and sticky floors of the Nest, and he was sure she’d wandered into the wrong place – even told her so (nicely, obviously, just a “Hey, can I help you find where you need to be?”) – until Monty came out and drew her into a warm hug. 
“Chrissy, sweetheart, how are you?” he’d smiled as he stepped back to give her a proper look. “How’s school?” 
“School’s great, Uncle Monty,” Chrissy gave him a sweet, reassuring smile, and to most, it would have seemed genuine, but something about her steel blue gaze tingled Eddie’s wolf-sense. She was lying. 
Monty didn’t seem to have noticed.
“This little lady is practically my niece,” the older man explained. “Dad was my roommate in college. Best friends,” he said fondly, rubbing Chrissy’s shoulder. 
Oh joy, a nepotism hire, Eddie thought, scrubbing the bar slightly more aggressively than before. 
“Chris, why don’t you help Eddie get everything set up? You can start your first shift tonight.”
Monty’s portly figure shuffled back toward his office, brushing Eddie’s shoulder as he went. “Look after her, would you?” he murmured earnestly.
Chrissy certainly seemed like she needed to be looked after; she was so petite she could practically fit in his pocket, and she gave him a cute little half wave as Monty’s door clicked shut. 
It was kind of hard to look at her directly, actually; the late afternoon light seemed to bounce off her hair, casting a hazy red-gold glow around her big eyes and full lips. In fact, it seemed like all the light in the room was attracted to Chrissy – like she was some kind of magnet for sunbeams or something. 
“Eddie?” she said sweetly, her voice high and tinkly. 
Wind chimes, he thought dimly, standing there squinting at her like an idiot. 
“Huh?” 
He shook his head; for some reason, it felt suddenly full of cotton wool, even though he was definitely completely sober. It’d be almost impossible for him to get drunk or stoned this close to the full moon anyway – even wolfsbane wouldn’t do it the week of his change. 
In fact, all his senses were supposed to be heightened at this point; sight. Sound. Smell. He scented the air discreetly. Even amidst the usual empty bar scents – stale beer, pretzels, disinfectant – he could still pick hers out. It was like... an orchard, or maybe a meadow. 
Flowers, and fresh air, and ripe fruit bursting with juice. 
His wolf-self imagined sinking its teeth into her flesh, piercing through it like the fragile, fuzzy skin of a peach. She’d taste sweet, it thought. 
He felt a familiar heat lick up his spine, and mentally slapped himself. He couldn’t let the wolf get carried away – not this close to the moon change. Instead, he tried for nonchalance. 
“You ever worked in a bar before?” he asked her, quirking an eyebrow. 
Chrissy smiled brightly, showing off adorably crooked front teeth. “Never.” 
“Well, I guess now’s a good time to start. Let me show you the, uh, ropes.”
The ropes? Could he be any more creepy?
Still, she followed him down to the basement without complaint, looking around the dank room stacked high with kegs. Eddie’s nose wrinkled at the smell of yeast which always seemed to permeate the windowless space. 
“So, this is where the magic happens,” he joked. 
Chrissy looked at him for a moment, an unidentifiable emotion crossing her face, before she caught on. Her face scrunched up cutely. 
“Yeah, it definitely smells… magical.”
Eddie grinned, fiddling with one of the couplers and leaning towards her conspiratorially. “I wish I could say you get used to it, but it’s been two years for me, and… it’s honestly worse.” 
He must have been distracted by Chrissy’s responding giggle or something, because at that very moment a volcano of foam began pouring out the top of the keg, soaking his hands and the hem of his shirt. 
“Shit!” he yelped, frantically moving to readjust the coupler and stop the flow. 
“Oh my gosh, Eddie!” said Chrissy, moving toward him.
“No no no, this is all. Part. Of. The. Training,” he grunted back as he turned the heavy metal cylinder to check the pressure gauge. “This is definitely going to be on the final exam, so, you know, take notes.”
Chrissy smiled ruefully. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Get me a fresh shirt? There’s one in my bag under the bar.”
She nodded, her strawberry blonde ponytail bobbing and swishing as she turned and climbed back up the stairs while Eddie kept his gaze firmly on the puddle of amber fluid in front of him and not on her back pockets. 
She returned a few minutes later with his backup T-shirt (thank God he’d thought to wash it), and averted her gaze as he swapped it for the beer-soaked one. It wasn’t until he’d pulled black cotton over his stomach that he realised she was blushing; something strange and new in her flower-and-fruit scent.
“So, uh, how about I show you how to tap these kegs properly? ” he said, clearing his throat and attempting a light-hearted tone.
Chrissy showed all her teeth as she grinned, “Oh, you mean that wasn’t the proper way?”
**
After a thorough keg tutorial, Eddie moved on to showing Chrissy how to pull beers – anticipating a long evening of babysitting as she dropped glasses and poured with too much head. 
But, as it turned out, she was a total natural. The girl – young woman, actually; she’d mentioned she was a junior at Northwestern, which by his calculations made them only two years apart, give or take – seemed to have some kind of psychic ability to guess people’s orders before they made them. 
She was graceful, too – especially considering his own seeming inability to navigate all three dimensions of space; there was no tripping over each other, no accidental bumps or dropped glasses or awkward side-to-side as they moved from one end of the bar to the other. 
It was like she could just tell where he was going to be and floated past accordingly, like water around a particularly uncoordinated rock. 
She was also (no exaggeration) magic at mixing cocktails, pouring and stirring and shaking concoctions that had the Nest’s jaded patrons rolling their eyes in pleasure. 
The sight made her giggle with delight (which he’d usually find fake and calculated, but on her it was so genuine he couldn’t help but be endeared) – and even though it was well past midnight, the glow from the afternoon seemed to linger around her like a halo. 
He had to keep stopping himself from staring at her too long, particularly when a song she liked came on and she started humming and singing along, swaying her hips to the beat.
In fact, Eddie had a stupid grin plastered on his face all shift… until his eyes flew to the tip jar labelled Chrissy, with a little heart over the ‘i’. Sure, he’d expected a cute female bartender (yes, she was cute, especially with her legs and the curve of her bare waist in full view) would get a few extra bucks here and there, particularly from certain members of the Nest’s clientele – but nothing like this. 
He never expected her to out-earn his tips on her first goddamn night. 
His good mood practically evaporated in a second, and Eddie had worked himself up into a mild seethe by the time he made it back to the apartment. 
Unfortunately, the wolf made his emotions run hotter than usual this time of the month, while simultaneously rendering his go-to method of calming down – a fat wolfsbane-laced joint – entirely useless. 
His body fizzed with nervous energy as he paced the living room, trying not to wake Argyle. His roommate was usually a heavy sleeper, but Eddie had a knack for clumsily knocking over – or into – any and all of their furniture (the aforementioned struggle with three-dimensional space). 
He threw himself down on the couch face first, groaning into a throw pillow. 
He was so close to making it all happen. How many months had they been waiting to get studio time? This was their shot, their chance. How much longer would he have before Gareth and Jeff and Grant graduated and moved away? A year? Less? 
There was no way Corroded Coffin could stay together past the summer – not without something tangible keeping them there, like a mind-melting demo that would definitely have the greatest rock labels in the world lining up to sign them. 
Except he’d be out for at least two nights with the change (just his luck, the full moon was a Friday and he’d lose Saturday to recovering). If Chrissy’s performance over the weekend was anything like tonight, he was well and truly fucked. 
Eddie ground his teeth. His bad mood – and the busy shift that preceded it – had left him drained, and he could feel sleep creeping in at the corners of his consciousness. 
If he could just get Chrissy to quit… 
** As it turned out, his preferred tactic of simply explaining the situation failed spectacularly when he confronted her the following afternoon. 
“I’m sorry, Eddie,” she said as she daintily polished a glass (he was trying to see who could clean the most in 20 minutes, but Chrissy hadn’t seemed to realise they were in competition – even though she was, maddeningly, winning), ticking down the time until the bar opened at 5pm.
“Are you serious?” he gaped. 
She turned away, placing the glass on the shelf next to its compatriots. “I can’t just quit.” 
Eddie stared at her in shock. “I need to know if you are fucking with me right now. You’ve been here five minutes! No-one will miss you!” 
She huffed a little – for some reason, it made him think of a dandelion – and blushed light pink. It contrasted prettily with her floaty yellow sundress, he thought despite himself.
“You’re not the only one who has bills to pay, ok?”
She was trying to be patient with him, and at any other time maybe he’d have backed off – accepted she wasn’t going to change her mind. But he could almost feel the moon rising, and he was too close to getting what he wanted. The wolf would have none of it.
“So get your boyfriend or Daddy or whoever to pay them!” he snapped.
Chrissy turned back to face him; her flush had deepened, spreading down to the neckline of her dress. High spots of colour dotted her freckled cheekbones as her temper flared. 
She visibly gritted her teeth as she stared up at him, blue-grey eyes dancing. He thought she might actually stomp one of her little Ked-clad feet. 
“You’re not my friend, Eddie. You don’t know the first– the first fucking thing about me."
The wolf bristled at the challenge in her voice, the naked venom, and an answering echo of anger surged through his blood – but Chrissy was already gone, storming off towards the rest room’s graffiti-covered door (Park your junk here, God, what a stupid thing to tag). 
He heard, rather than felt, the glass break in his palm. “Shit, shit, shit! ” he fumed as he gingerly picked the shards from his bleeding skin. 
The night barely improved after that; everything seemed to drag, the customers impatient and demanding, and he surly and irritable. Chrissy stayed pissed at him, going out of her way to avoid even brushing his arm as she ducked and weaved from the taps to the till to the counter and back. 
It wasn’t like before, when they were moving in perfect sync; now, she wouldn’t even let him lean over her to reach the limes. 
He knew he’d said something to set her off, but what the hell did she mean when she said he didn’t know her at all? It wasn’t like she was hard to figure out – a pretty little rich girl from the nice side of town, probably thought the world owed her everything on a silver platter.
Bet she’d never been told no in her life. She was probably just doing this job for pocket money, anyway – trying to prove something to her dad, or whatever. 
It was such bullshit – she had other options, he didn’t. It was as simple as that. Why wouldn’t she just cut him a break?
And it was a shame, really, because it wasn’t as though she was unlikeable. That first shift had been good – great, even. She was sweet to the customers, listened to the old regulars, loved to talk about anything and everything. She hadn’t even flinched when he’d asked her to clean the urinals. 
Which made it all the more annoying when her niceness and sweetness seemed to end right where his actual real life problems began. 
Eddie’s foul mood translated to a shockingly poor haul of tips, which he blamed on Monty’s music selection (“Duran Du-fucking-ran? You can’t expect me to work in these conditions!”).
Even worse, he was staring down the barrel of his change with nothing but a bad mood and patience hanging by a thread. He knew from experience what a shitty idea it was to let the wolf take over when he was like that; it’d make him extra wild, aggressive – less able to keep control of his instincts. 
That was hard enough as it was; while Eddie considered himself more of the flight type of guy (though he’d had his fair share of fisticuffs since entering the ironically named hospitality industry), the wolf was definitely more in the fight camp. If Uncle Wayne hadn’t stepped in with the tranq gun when his teenage hormones were raging, his life would have looked very different. 
(The wolf wanted to do, er, other things too, but he’d only met two female werewolves since his turning and they were at least 10 years older than him – and much scarier than getting shot point-blank with a dart full of phenothiazine and silver sulfide.) 
“You gotta chill out, my man,” said Argyle as he slid down next to where Eddie was stewing on the couch. 
Eddie scoffed. “You got something that’ll work this close to the full moon? I’ve got, like, six hours to go.” 
The sorcerer nodded thoughtfully, his slow, soothing voice lilting, “In all my infinite wisdom, brochacho, I have procured a little something I am told will do – as they say – the trick.” 
From underneath his tie-dyed T-shirt, his roommate produced a tiny baggie of glowing gold powder. 
“Fae dust,” he explained, noticing Eddie’s confused expression as he held it up to the light. 
“And that is…?”
“The dust that is fae, my dude, the dust that is most fae. A pinch here, a pinch there, and it’s good vibes until the sun comes up.” 
Eddie twirled the baggie between his fingers. “So do I snort it, or…?” 
“Any way you like. Drink it, smoke it, under the tongue, whatever. It’ll find its way in there.”
He placed a reassuring hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Enjoy the moon, wolf-man, and don’t forget, I have my lady friend in town, so kindly knock if you’re back before Sunday.”
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teenageread · 8 months
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Review: Eli Over Easy
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Synopsis:
From the acclaimed author of Small Town Pride, Phil Stamper, comes a heartfelt coming-of-age middle grade novel about grief, love, loss, and finding your way forward in the vein of Kate Allen's The Line Tender and Jules Machias's Both Can Be True. 
The last few months have been pretty tough for Eli. He moved to New York City and left his small-town in Minnesota with his extended family and everyone he knows. He hasn't made any new friends. And his mom died unexpectedly, shattering his whole world. He misses Mom more and more every day, but Dad refuses to talk about her, leaving Eli alone in his grief.
Then Eli finds a stash of instructional cooking videos his mom made, revealing her dream of being a celebrity chef. With the help of the cute new neighbor boy, Mathias, Eli decides to follow his mother's recipes using her videos. If he can recreate his mom's special dishes, then maybe a part of her can stay with him forever. But what happens when the videos run out?
Plot:
Eli did not expect 2020 to hold such a memorable time in his life. Moving from his small town in Minnesota to NYC so his mother, Renee, could work her dream job as a test food kitchen chef. A dream that was short-lived as she died early on in the pandemic from covid. His dad shrunk NYC to the size of their apartment, limiting Eli’s ability to go out and make friends, as he desperately tries to get remote work that will allow him and Eli to move back to Minnesota, and closer to Eli’s friend and cousin, Riley and her mom. Giving Eli what he begged for, and something to do during the summer, Eli signed up for this coding boot camp, something Eli wanted to turn into his dream career. Using his mom's laptop for the class, Eli finds her private YouTube account of “Renee Test Kitchen '' where she taught viewers how to cook. Never learning to cook when she was alive, Eli started learning to cook, starting with the basics of how to make eggs, into more complicated recipes. With only a handful of videos from her, Eli’s Dad did not want him to use the kitchen when he was not home as a safety hazard. Yet, Eli cannot stop, this was something that he was meant to do, to help him remember and grieve for his Mom. Making friends with next-door neighbor Mat, the two boys spend their summer opening beyond the walls of their apartments, exploring NYC, exploring themselves, and begin opening up on their feelings. 
Thoughts: 
Phil Stamper writes this moving novel about dealing with grief, coming of age, love, and finding your way when you seem lost. Taken from the point of view of thirteen-year-old Eli Adams, a small-town kid who finds themselves in a big city and deals with the aftermath of the pandemic that killed their mom. Where there is no year given in this novel, it is during a time when you still had to wear masks, but stores were open to allow you to eat and shop. With easy writing, Stamper moves you through the story of Eli discovering his mom’s videos, deciding to learn to cook, fighting with their dad, bonding with Mat, and more. In this story, the characters are going through grief in different ways. Through this Stamper shows youth the ways one can deal with their sadness, either hiding away like Eli’s Dad, faking a smile throughout the day like Mat, or holding on tightly to the mementos your loved one left behind like Eli. Where it is easy to see Eli’s Dad's point of view of how dangerous it is cooking alone, and how Eli might be using this as an unhealthy coping mechanism, you really feel for Eli as they struggle through their unimaginable grief and find comfort in something that reminds them of their mom. This novel also contains a beautiful LGBTQ+ element, which for the young readers of this novel can be something that they connect to, and has great representation. This novel truly flies through your hand, and where I wish Stamper gave us a bit more info on the coding boot camp, or even made it more relevant at points, this novel is a perfect read on dealing with grief, finding happiness in life again, making friends, and finding your way again.
Read more reviews: Goodreads
Buy the book: Amazon
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getmemymicroscope · 2 years
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One of the truths of reading, I think, is that you start expecting something from an author after you've read a work of theirs (or, at least, I do, because my brain is a total mess). Like, John Grisham means legal thrillers. Agatha Christie means detective stories, usually ending with everyone sitting together in a room as the truths are unveiled. Michael Crichton's works meant sci-fi, with a lot of the 'sci.' And, as such, based on the one book of Neil Gaiman's that I've read thus far (Good Omens) - which, I know, it entirely my own fault for not having read more - I was expecting something 'laugh out loud' funny, because that's how I'd found Good Omens.
This ... well, it wasn't that, especially not at the start. So it took me a while to get into it. But then, when I was into it, I just couldn't stop. There were definitely some instances/lines that did make me audibly chuckle (thank heavens for reading for reading from the comforts of my own couch), but more than that - I just found this a totally enthralling story.
The way Gaiman builds this world, literally right under our feet, is spectacular. His way of describing things - it vaguely reminds me of those memes about how people will measure things with anything except the metric system: his introduction of Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar especially so. It's a fun ride (walk?, jaunt?, stroll?) through the underbelly of a city that I, well, unfortunately, don't entirely recognize; yet, even, then, I feel like I was there with them.
Richard is, in many aspects, a very unheroic hero - I mean, he has some mental strength (see the ordeal) and some sort of respectable moral compass, but he's also deathly afraid of heights, is claustrophobic, desires nothing more than a return to his original, if uneventful, life - and he's not afraid to announce this, multiple times, to anyone that will listen. His entire purpose of being on this journey is to end the journey and be back home. And in a world where so many main characters are 'extravagant' this or 'superhero' that or 'amazing' at everything (and don't get me wrong, I love those stories too), it's nice to find a character that you somewhat relate with in a more "I want an uneventful life" way. He makes the "mistake" (not a mistake) of helping someone, and suddenly his life is much more eventful than he would ever have hoped for.
I really like Door, and I think partially this is because, well before I even know what this story was about, I'd created in my mind a sort of similar character - well, similar only in the sense that they could open doors. It's a completely different concept, really, beyond the opening of doors that are closed for others - but that small bit of similarity sort of made me immediately like Door (aka, I'm glad she didn't somehow turn out to be evil).
My reading quest for this year (this decade? this past decade?) has been totally stunted by medical school/training/work and by my sudden fascination with movies and TV shows that are accessible whenever I want, but books like this make me not only want to read more, but also write more (also stunted, though mostly just by pure lack of motivation).
Like Good Omens, this is a fantastical journey that combines our world with bits of a fantasy-like recreation beyond our world as we know it, but it still feels like a very different type of story (admittedly, I haven't re-read Good Omens in a few years). But what it does do is shine another light on just how great Neil Gaiman's writing, and world-building, is. The characters, the story, the journey from start to end - it is masterful writing.
I'm clearly going to need to read more of his works, and I'm clearly going to need to go in with a fully open mind as to what exactly I'm getting. There have been rumors (more than rumors?) of a sequel - and this book I read, in fact, also has a short return to London Below as we follow the Marquis on a quest to find his coat - and now, having read this, I cannot wait for this sequel. It feels like, with a title like The Seven Sisters, it would be more like a spiritual sequel that brings us back to London Below but not necessarily reintroduces us to Door or Richard (though, of course, I could be very wrong about that) - which would be slightly sad, at least, to not meet them again, but I'm sure Gaiman will quickly squash that sadness with his writing and whatever story he pens for us to read.
What a book. I love most things I read and watch (well, not the "this is gonna be so bad, I should watch it for laughs" watch, but the more serious watches; though, that is definitely being tested by current day nonsense) to the point of rating almost everything as 4-5 stars, but this is easily 5 stars out of 5.
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sukunasun · 2 years
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dilf geto
imagining an older geto—with a few greys in his hair and creases by the corner of his eyes—being that one hot single dad in your area. even the mere mention of his name brings a smile to people's face. they say he's the best cook working the grill at a barbecue, or that he's always so helpful and generous when he fixes a lightbulb, repairs a sink, maybe clean a pool. most of the time they go on about his perfect family with his smart, beautiful daughters and their three adopted dogs from the shelter.
everyone knows him and knows about him because this neighbourhood is small and gossip comes with that, people just love talking about him on a daily. it keeps the housewives occupied when they're meeting at the recreation center to watch him and gojo swim laps, and the other dads in town can't help but find him entertaining when they watch him go from making flower arrangements for his home to then chugging down a can of beer at the speed of light when japan tops their group for the world cup. he celebrates with his whole chest out, sculpted and broad, he's red in the face and so drunk yet looking incredible while at it. and it shows just how he's at his very peak, strong and still so hot-blooded even though he's nearing forty.
"don't you have a date tonight?" he asks when you're drying the dishes next to him and you catch his gaze lingering just a little longer over you when you reach up to grab a dishcloth. shirt riding up to reveal your bare torso, shorts hugged tight around the swell of your ass. turning away, he clears his throat before continuing in a strained voice, head hanging low, "a pretty young thing like you shouldn't be spending all her time with an old man like me," he quirks his lips up, chuckling to himself. and it stings because even when he notices you, a man like that wouldn't be impressed, wouldn't waste his time on you; he's too mature, too experienced. and he's smart enough to know that he should be spending time with someone his age, what would he have in common with a girl who was fresh out of college and had been tutoring his daughters every weekend just to get by.
sometimes when you catch him alone, you start to see him in a different light—he's having that little bit of time to himself, afternoons spent listening to his record collection, his back leaning against a window as he tunes out, writing in his journal because he heard it was a good way to decompress—so aware of him and his presence.
just like that time he invited you to the beach with them. nanako and mimiko are old enough to wander off on their own and he tells you the last time he brought them out here, they were still in floaties, drawing patterns on his face with sunscreen then proceeds to pull out a photo on his phone to show you. and here, among grains of sand, salt in the air, and a scorching sun, he is the only thing that makes your skin prickle. sweat beading over your neck at the sight of him lounging on a bamboo mat with one of his legs propped up, spread wide. a red shirt hangs loosely off his body, stark against his skin. there are gaudy leafy patterns all over it but he manages to pull it off.
and geto isn't the kind of man that would care because he's comfortable. secure. long gone are the days where he pierced his own ears and spontaneously got a tattoo of a dragon on his back because he thought it would impress women. but you think he never really needs to try, is the type of guy who's so oblivious to his charm. even now, as people walk by and stare at him, he's too focused on his book; likes to break them in, wear out the spine, so firm when he opens them up until they're folded over, pressing down on the binding with his large palms dwarfing the paperback, his long fingers flipping the pages swiftly. "you admiring the view?" geto pushes his sunglasses up on his forehead, shooting you a smirk and revealing the smile lines etched into his face. you know he's just teasing but you're flustered, can't help but think—yes, and what a view it is.
it starts feeling like pure torture and every night your hand trails over your panties, touching yourself. chasing the thrill, the thought of his body under you. oh those worn hands with veins bulging over his knuckles, his palms so big and so warm caressing over your thighs, gripping on the insides and pressing his fingers there, spreading you open the way he does with the books. with a little force but it would be so easy for him as he fucks up into you, getting all wet and slick. you picture his thick cock delving past your folds, fitting inside you and stretching you out, thrusting and thrusting as deep as he can, all the way to the hilt.
your heart starts pounding, thrumming in your chest and all you can hear is the muffled sound of it in your ears, your moans and cries you can't hide. so desperate to be his 'pretty young thing' to play with, you'd show him just how desirable he is, that none of the boys you ever dated could do to you what he does. no one makes you this hazy, this drunk and lustful and wanting. makes you cream all over your fingers and your vibrator every time you get to this part; what would he be like with a woman, what would he be like with you.
what if he could see you now, would he stand there and watch you as you moan his name, showing him just how good he makes you feel. a part of you might resist him, keeping your sweet tight pussy to yourself. maybe you'd taunt him, "can't keep up old man?", just to watch his resolve crumble, growls into your ear as he just pounds into you, finds a pillow and raises your hips up because he'd know that trick, he'd know so much. and even when time slips into early hours of the morning, he'd never tire, he'd keep going and you'd fall even harder. that he'd let go and allow himself to take what he wants—what you know he craves as much as you do.
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angry-geese · 3 years
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Nanami Kento x Reader
Warnings: sfw. pregnancy mention, death mention, minor injury mention. mild angst. jjk manga spoilers/shibuya arc spoilers
Summary: some pregnancy fluff with nanami
Word Count: 2.2k
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Greys dot at his temples, and the sides of his beard. There's a permanent line between his eyebrows from scowling. Nanami always kept his face shaved in the past. Nowadays he hardly bothers shaving. You like it when he has a little bit of scruff, and he's often too tired to shave. His cheeks are far more gaunt. He lost a considerable amount of weight he never really gained back. You’ve been trying to get him to eat more. And it's working, but recovery isn't a short process. It was a long road that sometimes it feels like you take one step forward, only to take ten back.
He finds himself questioning if he'd rather wear a glass eye, or an eyepatch.
Nanami hardly sees the point in either. So the answer is neither. He rarely leaves his house, save for the rare times you drag him along to the grocery store, or down the street to the bakery. Even then, he wears his hat low on his head, keeping his eyes on the ground in a feeble attempt to make himself as small as possible.
Shibuya left scars on everyone who had the misfortune of being there, ones that never quite healed right. You were the same person; torn apart and put back together wrong. Age has not been kind to you, your wounds taking longer to heal, an ever-present ache in your bones. Past injuries have never quite healed, only laying dormant, waiting for the weather to sour so they can ache. He guesses he can consider himself lucky. He's alive. That's more than a lot of people can say.
But sometimes he thinks the real lucky ones were those who didn't survive.
Sometimes he thinks he's dead. In the twilight between sleep and his waking moments, he wonders if he actually made it. He wonders if he really survived, or if this is just some last ditch attempt by his brain to make sense of things.
He doesn't understand why you stay. He finds himself wondering why he bothers. Most days he doesn't see a point in continuing. But he doesn't want to leave you alone, reaching out to the empty space where he used to be.
For a long time he struggled to find purpose to all this. He wanted a reason, or at the very least answers. But he never would get them. It's unfair to say there’s an order to the universe. There's no reason why things happen the way they happen, they just do.
In the end he came to terms with it.
He remembers the glint in your eyes. A mischievous look- you were always trying to cause trouble. It's never really left. You were younger than him. Not by much. Two years. You were adamant he recommended you to become a grade one sorcerer. For months you pestered him, hounding him for that recommendation. As a Jujutsu High first-year, you looked up to him. When you got into trouble, you found yourself asking 'what would Nanami do?' And as time went on, you still did.
After months of pestering he eventually caved. You're nothing if not persistent. It was a little alarming at the time, and equally as irritating. But when you were finally a grade one sorcerer, he was there alongside you to celebrate.
At first glance, you two were far from compatible. The two of you couldn't be any more different. He was stoic and stern, and you were a known troublemaker. Your cursed technique worked well with his, and as a result, you went on many jobs together. As time went on you grew close.
And after years of working together, he finally realized he wanted more.
To everyone around you, your feelings were obvious. The two of you were hopeless. Between your stubbornness, and Nanami’s refusal to believe Gojo, neither of you wanted to be the first to confess. It was up to Gojo to help. Neither of you asked for his help, he took it upon himself. Little did he know, Nanami had a confession planned.
Nanami never got to have a proper confession. Gojo would spoil the surprise. Nanami was pissed, but your reaction was worth it. He doesn't think he’s ever seen you that happy.
Slowly things got better. Your more visible wounds healed and scarred. You went back to work. Nanami settled into domestic life better than he thought he would.
The transition wasn't the easiest. Settling down was far from an instantaneous change. He took on work around the house. For a short time you kept a ‘normal’ job. Even when you were younger, such work never suited you. Between the money you had saved up from your years as a sorcerer, and the money you got from odd jobs, you had enough to live comfortably. There was no need to work.
Slowly he started to look forward to getting up in the morning. Having a routine helped. It gave him a sense of normalcy.
He often finds himself unable to sleep. Nanami falls asleep late in the afternoon, and sleeps until either his phone, or a nightmare rouses him.
Today it's neither. He was a light sleeper before. Now even more-so. When he’s next to you, sleep comes to him easier. His arms find the swell of your belly, wrapping around it protectively. Your presence is a reminder that you’re still around, that you're not going anywhere. His shoulder aches. He finds sleep impossible. He’s too sore to move, but too sore to sleep. Even before everything, he found it easy to sleep on his couch, and hard to sleep in bed. You’d constantly pester him that sleeping on the couch wasn't good for his back. But that wouldn't stop you from staying there until you both inevitably fell asleep, and he carried you to bed.
It took you years to convince him to have one. He wanted to settle down and have children, but he couldn't be both a sorcerer and a parent. And neither could you. Shibuya only set things back. The world had to heal first. Things had to get better. The two of you had to heal before others could rely on you.
You weren't actively trying, but if it happened, it happened.
You've long since fallen asleep in the crook of his neck. He hardly left bed all day. Things were getting bad again. Sometimes months would go by where it seemed things were improving, only for them to take a nosedive. He’s still getting better, but recovery isn't a linear process. You didn't have anywhere to go that day, so you stayed right by his side. You took it upon yourself to make him feel better. Or at least bother him until he got out of bed. Much of your morning was spent watching movies on your phone, and stealing blankets from each other.
Retirement was nice. Granted, you retired rather young, but if the rest of your life was spent with him, you’d be content. He’s still the same man you fell in love with all those years ago. Aside from the occasional, safe-ish odd job, you were done with sorcery. Those days were past you.
He’s grown tired of staying still. Sometimes moving helps the aches. He never was the earliest riser before, but now he can hardly stay in bed past seven. Everything hurts. No matter when he goes to sleep, he’s usually up by 7:30, and you can count on him making coffee in the kitchen.
It's hardly past nine. The sun has completely set over the horizon. Stiffness has set into his limbs. He takes great care to not disturb your sleeping form, tucking the blankets back around you.
You nuzzle into the warm spot where he once was, a frown burned into your face. You never liked sleeping without him. Nightmares struck you frequently. Often you'd wake up from a dead sleep in a panic, calling out for him, convinced that this was some sick dream and he died years ago. He’d often wake up to you clinging to his arm, face buried in his shirt.
But he was always there.
You find it easier to fall asleep when it's light out. You don't like falling asleep in the dark. He makes sure to keep a light on in the hall. The power bill you could care less about. Nightmares came to you in the dark. Your logic is that, if there's no dark, you won't have them. To some extent it works.
It's a bit late for dinner, but he finds himself in the kitchen anyway. He wants udon, but the shop you normally go to would be closed at this hour. Their mushroom udon is the best. He’ll try to recreate it.
He sets some water on to boil, along with some frozen gyoza to thaw that you always insist on going to this one specific market in Tokyo for. Chicken and leek, with lots of ginger. Your favorite. You go through so much of the stuff that you have to get it in bulk, and freeze the extras. He thinks you’ll want tea too, so he sets the kettle on to boil.
He doesn't hear you walk in. Between the clanking of pots, and the whistling of the kettle, your soft footsteps go unheard. Nanami’s hearing was never quite the same. But he senses eyes on his back, and turns.
“I didn't mean to wake you, love.” He says.
“You didn't. I was having a hard time staying asleep anyway,” you say, “what’re you making?”
“Mushroom udon and gyoza,” he says, “it’s gonna be kind of a late dinner, but I thought it sounded good.”
“Smells good,” you say.
One of his hands finds your much smaller ones. Your fingers lace with his. His hands are warm, and calloused from years of using his weapon.
“Remind me to get more tea when I head into town tomorrow,” you say, “oh- and rice too. We were getting low the last time I checked. Do you want to go too?”
He nods. He makes a silent note to add those, along with laundry soap to the shopping list.
Before, he hated going into town. Strangers poked and prodded, and asked about his scars. It's gotten better as time goes on. If cravings struck you in the middle of the night, he would be up and ready to bring you something. Craving the mochi only sold by a specific shop in Tokyo? It doesn't matter if he had to take the train all the way to the city, he’d do it. Your arms wrap around his waist from behind. He’s a bit too tall for you to rest your head on his shoulder from behind. You have to stand on the tips of your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. He smells faintly of laundry soap, and shampoo. His stubble brushes against your lips. You always liked when he grew it out.
He pulls you so you stand in front of him, your back against his chest. His hands find the swell of your belly, wrapping around you protectively. Nanami plants a kiss on the top of your head. It's one of the few moments you feel truly normal. You’re no longer sorcerers, but a couple sharing a romantic moment, one building a life together.
He’s hardly allowed any distance between you two. Nanami acts like you’re made out of glass. He’s almost afraid to touch you. God forbid you try to lift something too heavy, or help out with the housework. He’s on you in an instant, trying to get you to rest. He’s a bit overbearing when it comes to things that aren't good for the baby. No alcohol, no caffeine, no overexerting yourself. You didn't miss alcohol all that much, but you really miss coffee. At times his presence can be suffocating. He means well, even if it gets on your nerves.
When the noodles are done, he gathers two bowls- part of a set given to you as a wedding gift. You only brought them out to use when your parents would visit. Much of the time they spent gathering dust. You always talked about using them more, but never got the opportunity to. He figures now is as good a time as ever. You set the table, setting out a few candles. He’d break out a bottle of sake if you could drink, but you just settle for tea.
"Retirement looks good on you," you say.
“It looks good on you too,” he says.
Conversation carries on while you eat. The topic falls onto mundane things that make his heart flutter only when you talk about them. You make plans to go shopping in the morning. You need groceries, and there’s a new shop opening up in town that you want to check out. When you’re done eating, you help him clean up. You clear the table while he gets the dishes.
He’s finally found his place. Not in jujutsu or human society. Not among sorcerers or regular people. His place is beside you.
And each day, he finds himself falling more hopelessly in love.
338 notes · View notes
samkiszkasrealgf · 3 years
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electric love.
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request: none
paring: jj maybank x fem!reader
summary: y/n and jj have been best friends ever since the fourth grade. after creating a tiktok account as a dare, y/n decides to recreate the trend where you try to kiss your best friend/crush and see what they do.
warnings: TEETH ROTTING FLUFF. probably the cutest thing i’ve ever written <3 i’m hoping to GOD no one has done this with jj yet lmao
it had been nearing 8 pm. the pogues: jj, john b., kiara, pope, and y/n had decided they wanted to lay low after the events of earlier that day (finding the grady-white & sneaking into the motel) by hosting yet another kegger out on the beach. so, there they were; at the beach surrounded by the usual crowd of kooks, other pogues, and tourons.
however, y/n, who was almost always the life of the party, wasn’t really feeling it that particular night. she assumed she might’ve just been jittery from the crazy day her and her friends just had. after her first two solo cups of beer, y/n had decided to separate herself from the rest of her fellow partygoers & friends, making her way to the water just to get some air for a few minutes.
as the waves crashed against the shore, y/n tugged her ripped jean shorts off of her waist and let them drop to her ankles, leaving her in just a bikini top and bottoms. setting them down in the sand where they were guaranteed to stay dry, she placed her cellphone right on top of them. her hair, tied into a very messy bun on the top of her head, was let down immediately after. her hair spilled onto her shoulders and down her back in loose waves & curls. the sun has just begun to set, painting the sky with beautiful shades of orange, yellow, pink, red, and a bit of purple.
moments later, y/n was able to drown out the sound of drunken laughter and talkative teenagers as she focused on watching her feet as the waves pushed against them. after at least five minutes, y/n reached back to grab her phone that had been resting on top of her shorts. hesitantly, she clicked on tiktok, an app she’d downloaded just two days ago. scrolling through her “for you page”, y/n stumbled across a video captioned, “i tried kissing my best friend, this is how it turned out”, using the song elecric love by borns. the corners of her mouth turned upwards into a crooked grin. although she’d thought it was quite cheesy, y/n had to admit that it melted her heart. it was so romantic; the way they held each other, the way kissed each other like it was the last time they’d ever see each other again ... for some reason, y/n could only think about one person: jj maybank.
ahh, jj maybank. one of y/n’s best friends, and her secret crush, since the fourth grade. something about those blonde locks, those crystal blue eyes, the indentations in his cheeks when he smiled — not to mention his insanely perfect, greek-god like smile — and his charismatic personality struck her interest right from the start. it was hopeless, y/n continuously convinced herself. jj would flirt with her, but he flirts with everyone. no matter how many times she would feel that burning twang of jealousy in the depths of her stomach whenever jj would philander with other girls, nothing would change. jj wanted only to be friends, y/n was sure of it. though she had absolutely no issue with remaining jj’s closest female friend, it hurts knowing the one that which you most desire will never be yours.
“hey you!,” a voice suddenly sounded from behind her.
y/n glanced over her left shoulder, only to lock eyes with lover-boy himself. her stomach flipped.
she grinned. “what’s up?”
jj sat beside her with a grunt. “man, y/n, are you feeling okay? you’re usually the center of attention at our keggers — wait, are you on tiktok?”
y/n’s eyes widened slightly, realizing that the electric love sound, along with the same video, had been playing on repeat for at least five minutes. nervously, she clicked her phone off, setting it beside her in the sand as jj chuckled at her forgetfulness.
“i thought you were gonna delete it right after kie dared you to download it the other night!,” jj taunted as y/n grinned, thinking back to a few nights ago to the drunken game of “truth or dare” she played with the pogues on the boat. “i think someone’s addicted...”
y/n gasped playfully. “i am not addicted!”
jj shot her a look, and y/n caved.
“okay, okay. fine. i’m a little addicted, but i can’t help it! the people on here have really...interesting humor.”
jj chucked warmly, taking a sip from his beer.
as the two sat in silence for a moment, y/n began to think. what if she made a move on jj by recreating that tiktok?
no, absolutely not. the alcohol must be getting to her brain. if she were to kiss him and weird him out, that could ruin their entire friendship, and that’s the last thing she wanted. but what if that didn’t happen? he could react in the exact opposite way. anything was possible...why not take the chance?
y/n could not believe she was doing this at all, but after contemplating it for a few minutes, she gathered up the courage to ask: “wanna make a tiktok with me?”
jj looked over at her, cocking an eyebrow with a grin.
“are you being serious?”
“yes!”
“...i-i guess!”
y/n stood up, laughing. she offered her jittery hand to jj, who accepted it and used it to haul himself off of the sandy ground.
“what am i even supposed to do?,” he questioned, scratching the back of his neck.
y/n smiled. “just follow my lead.”
once the sound was ready, y/n grabbed ahold of jj’s hand and tugged him into the shallow saltwater, that stopped just about at their waists. with her phone propped up against jj’s halfway-full bottle of beer, she clicked the timer button and started the countdown for filming to start.
with each beep of the timer, y/n’s heartbeat thumped harder and harder against the inside of her chest.
with that, the song started.
baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle.
y/n stared into his eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat. hesitantly, she grabbed hold of jj’s biceps and pulled him towards her, softly. she pressed her lips against his.
i can’t let you go now that i got it.
jj pulled away from her, shocked. with wide eyes and flushed cheeks, all he could seem to do was stare back at her.
y/n’s heart sank. this was a failure. he looked incredibly uncomfortable, and this was certainly going to make things awkward in the long run.
and all i need is to be struck...
however, the corners of jj’s lips turned upwards into a cheeky smile. suddenly, he grabbed her lower back with one hand and her jawline with the other, pulling her back in towards him.
...by your electric love.
at the beautiful climax of the sound, jj’s lips found y/n’s again. her arms made their way around the back of his neck, her hands beginning to cascade through the golden blond tufts of hair. the entire world seemed to melt around her as a long-lasting dream had come true at last. all of a sudden, y/n’s feet left the plushy ground of the ocean as jj sent both of them tumbling into the cool blueness of the water, tangled up in each other’s arms.
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 302: As the Todoroki Turns
Previously on BnHA: 
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Today on BnHA: We have a very fun chapter in which (1) Shouto grows up lonely on account of his parents being worried that his siblings will literally try to kill him, (2) Natsu and Fuyu grow up neglected on account of not being special and/or self-destructive enough to attract attention, (3) we get to revisit all of that exciting spousal abuse from chapter 39, and (4) Touya burns to death right on cue, pretty much exactly like we expected it to happen. Thankfully since this is a shounen manga, Horikoshi finds some hope in all this misery as the Todoroki family rallies together, with Shouto getting his long-overdue credit for being a perfect sweet angel who put up with all of this shit for sixteen years and somehow came out of it strong and kind and empathetic and determined. Anyway, so that flashback was a barrel of laughs. But now that it’s over, we can put all of that angst behind us, and move on to... well I guess, probably, more angst. Look, we’re short on variety at the moment. Bear with it.
ouch. we knew this was coming, but still
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A+ parenting move there. “ho boy, our eldest just tried to murder our youngest, now what? hmm how about we isolate our youngest from all human contact”
though in their defense, we probably shouldn’t have expected this rabidly strength-obsessed fire man and his wife who was groomed since childhood to obey her family’s whims to have any idea of how to raise stable, well-adjusted offspring
SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS
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this is a perfect example of Enji’s tragically self-revolving viewpoint right here. just because being a hero is your entire world doesn’t mean you can just excuse yourself from anything outside of that and act like it’s out of your control. “alas, all I care about is hero stuff and my son can’t be a hero, we are doomed to inhabit two different worlds” no you jackass, it’s called having more than one hobby?? figuring out how to spend some time with your son that doesn’t involve training?? the same exact thing you were telling him to do last week, while ignoring that you’ve never done that yourself in your life??
that said, yet again we have that complexity though because it’s obvious that Enji at least on some level is aware of his own flaws, even though he seems unwilling or unable to confront them. honestly, from what we’ve seen so far, Enji’s obsession with surpassing All Might might be more accurately called an addiction. he literally can’t let go of it even though he’s fully aware of how it’s slowly destroying his life. and so in the same way that a lifelong smoker or alcoholic might tell their child to stay away from cigarettes and booze, Enji tells Touya not to follow down the same path as him, even though he himself doesn’t know how to leave that path. so yes, it’s hypocritical as fuck, but there’s also an element of helplessness there as well because Enji literally doesn’t know how not to be like this
though all the same he sure could stand to put in more than just a token effort. but it is what it is, and we already know how much he’ll come to regret it
and meanwhile Baby Shouto has frozen his sleep bubble with his quirk lmao. so I guess his quirk did come in early. that’s a recipe for chaos right there
once again Shouto is ruining every single dramatic panel in this flashback
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this was so dark and intense... and then I spotted the lil bubs in the corner. Horikoshi please control yourself
“some hero you are, running away” and then all of a sudden, “FIVE YEARS LATER” lol what. OKAY THEN
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(ETA: love the confirmation that eight-year-old Natsu comes from the Iida school of puberty and is basically a fully grown man, and meanwhile Touya comes from the hobbit school of puberty and has been perpetually eight for the past five years.)
“HEY BIG BRO WANNA COME RECREATE AN ICONIC FLASHBACK SCENE WITH US. WE’VE GOT THE SOCCER BALL RIGHT HERE, BUT HURRY UP OR WE’LL BE TOO LATE FOR SHOUTO TO WALK ON BY AND STOP TO LOOK”
lol and that’s literally the next three panels. but Horikoshi did add this extra bit after Endeavor starts to drag Shouto away
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seriously Enji what the hell did you expect was going to happen here. “Touya went nuts and tried to kill his little brother out of jealousy, so let’s make it clearer than ever that Shouto is the important child and all the other children are just rejects. this will definitely not make the problem 100x worse, and will surely lead to Touya giving up and living a happy life, having been emotionally abandoned by the person he admired more than anyone.” good for you pal you figured it all out. no need for that plan b, “we all just go to therapy”
anyway so he’s telling Shouto he can’t play because he needs more endurance training. and meanwhile Touya’s patented Todoroki Drama Genes are going through puberty as well
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definitely the face of a happy, emotionally stable child who’s not still plotting to murder his younger brother in his sleep
“WELL ACTUALLY MAKESTE” lol I stand corrected??
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apparently during the five year interim Touya actually stopped blaming Shouto and realized Enji was the one at fault. good for him! a bit inconsistent, given what we know happens later, but I assume we’ll get to that in good time
anyway. “yeah man I agree that dad sucks, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m only eight and you’ve been monologuing for the past two hours bro”
LMAO
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the manga is making my jokes for me, only better. fine then
looks like someone’s still miffed about that disagreement he had with his baby sister back when she was like four
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“Fuyu doesn’t get properly riled up like I want her to so ranting to her is annoying.” okay but having been in Fuyu’s shoes, it really is just a different way of coping, and I can guarantee she’s not as fine with the whole situation as Touya might think. but making your peace with something is often a decision that’s made for emotional self-preservation reasons. and I sure as hell don’t fault her for trying to shut out a situation that she had no control over, and trying to make the best of it, and scrape together as normal a childhood as she could manage
and now in Touya’s defense as well, that is of course easier said than done, and I’m sure if there was a “push this button and instantly get over all of the trauma in your life” switch readily available for Touya then he would have pushed it too. unfortunately it’s not always that simple
so now Rei is pleading with Touya not to go train up on his little emo hill again, but it doesn’t seem like much has changed since he was eight
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I don’t think he gives two figs about being a hero; he just wants his father to look at him again with pride. fucking hell, stop doing this to me you damn Todorokis
guh, they keep telling him the same thing over and over again
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even if we hadn’t already known he was gonna go melt his jawbone off soon, I wouldn’t have expected a line like that to go over well
yep. fuck
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that Todoroki puberty angst, though. nothing else quite like it
“you have a part in this too, Mom” ooooooh man
okay but look, he’s not entirely wrong. like, I’m not saying any of this is Rei’s fault at all! she’s in an impossible situation where she’s afraid to stand up to Enji (who by this point has shown that he’s willing to physically attack her if things get too heated, which is terrifying), and doesn’t really have anywhere to turn for support. her parents aren’t helping much if at all, and Japan in general is just a terrible country to be in when you’re in a domestic abuse situation. everyone’s expected to put on a brave face and deal with their problems all on their own in private. Rei is basically completely isolated at this point, and she doesn’t know what else to do, and so she’s just trying to keep the situation as stable as possible for the kids
but on the other hand, “for the kids” is also where that argument starts to break down a bit, because at this point Shouto is also being physically abused by his father, and the other kids are continuing to be neglected (emotionally if not physically), as they have been for years. so the situation really isn’t stable at all for them. and as a kid, what you end up learning in that type of situation is that you can’t rely on either parent. not the abusive one, certainly, but also not the other one who can’t protect you from any of it. even if they love you and they’re trying, they’re just as helpless as you. Rei is struggling to deal with all of this with one hand tied behind her back, and I get it, and I’m not blaming her at all. but all the same, particularly given that she’s (understandably) putting almost all her focus on Shouto, the end result is that the other kids have basically been left to fend for themselves
so yeah! a shitty situation all around. and one of those cases where it’s not really anyone’s fault (aside from Enji’s), but I can understand the resentment Touya is feeling all the same. and I’m so glad Horikoshi is acknowledging this, because it’s something I probably would have been too uncomfortable to bring up otherwise. as it is it’s still an incredibly heavy subject, and one that I probably have too many personal feelings about
anyway, so once again the whole “we’ll try talking to him and then just shrug our shoulders when it doesn’t work” parenting strategy doesn’t really pan out for the Todoroki fam
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sob this boy is Anakin Skywalkering before our very eyes. all that’s missing is AFO to come and start whispering in his ear. any minute now...
“anyway so then he got taller and his fire changed from red to blue”
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guess we’re getting pretty close then huh. this is the part of the flashback that I really don’t want to see, but also unfortunately the part that I’m most curious about :/
oh for fuck’s --
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“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORING HIM FOR FIVE YEARS DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM” sob. back to the drawing board I guess
I thought he got taller, why is he still only like a third of Enji’s height here
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oh fuck me these are armor-piercing feels. this is the heavy artillery right here
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ENJI I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP AND THINK FOR ONE MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE DOING SOMETHING YOU’LL REGRET FOR THE REST OF ALL TIME. your child just told you that he still thinks beating All Might is the only thing you care about, and that he believes his existence is a mistake unless he finds some way of doing that for you. please stop for a moment to contemplate that and choose your next words with care and grace and oh who the hell am I kidding
-- OR WE COULD JUST BLAME REI
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go on and blame everyone but yourself then!! that’s a great solution!! jesus christ man I know this is Endeavor at his literal worst but still this is fucking hard to watch
POOR BABY SHOUTO IS YELLING AT HIS DAD NOT TO HIT HIS MOMMY THIS LITTLE BRAVE BOY NEEDS SO MANY HUGS OH MY GOD
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AND MEANWHILE THE OTHERS ARE HUDDLED IN THE NEXT ROOM TRYING NOT TO CRY AH FUCK
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(ETA: Fuyu covering Natsu’s ears cuts RIGHT TO THE CORE OF ME. Horikoshi if you’re really not gonna get these kids some therapy then at least consider giving your readers some. what is this.)
you know it’s bad when you’re starting to think the part where the kid burns to death might actually be a less traumatic thing to cut to right now
holy shit, actual Rei thoughts
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“I was the one who ultimately made that choice” well there we go, wonder if that’ll put that whole argument to bed at last. I doubt it, but you never know. actually who am I kidding it’s not gonna settle jack shit lol
oh thank god, they decided it was getting too intense and cut away back to the present to narrate this next (final?) part
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get ready to cue up that Alicia Keys. THIS BOY IS ON FIREEEEEEE
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yeah I think that’s one thing we can mostly all agree on. neither of them had any clue what the fuck they were doing pretty much at any point. though I will say that the hypocrisy of him being all “WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM” followed by him IMMEDIATELY DOING THE EXACT SAME THING is a bit rich
(ETA: and he still has this problem, doesn’t he? he froze up when Ending snatched Natsuo, and again when Dabi was attacking Shouto. he’s so afraid of doing the wrong thing that he ends up not doing anything, which of course is exactly what led to Touya’s death. damn Enji I guess you’ve still got some additional character development to unlock.)
and of course neither of them could possibly have known how badly it was going to turn out. like, the consequences here were WAY disproportionate even for the shittiest of parenting. no one expects “I didn’t know how to talk to my son” to snowball into “my son burned to death and then somehow came back as a villain and murdered thirty people”
ohhhhhhhh fuck me
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LITERALLY INCINERATED THE ENTIRE HILLSIDE. fuck. and I am so not ready for the scene of Enji finding the remains of his jawbone afterwards. at least we were spared anything super-graphic (for now at least)
I feel like the timeline here is off, btw?? wasn’t Touya’s death supposed to happen after Rei got hospitalized? this might be the first actual retcon of the entire flashback. although I think it makes more sense this way tbh
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I do appreciate that ten years later Enji is finally reflecting on the fact that if he’d just given up his stupid obsession he could have stopped his family from crumbling apart. that probably sounds sarcastic as fuck, but it’s not. there are countless jerks out there who would have still managed to find a way to blame literally everyone and everything under the sun except for themselves. at least he finally figured out how to take responsibility, even if it came too late to stop his son from dying and being radicalized into a villain terrorist organization
and speaking of, it seems to me we’re missing a third and final part to this little tale of woe, and one which only Touya himself will be able to shed any light on. so we’ll see how that goes
oh man seeing the other kids blaming themselves even though none of it was their fault hits hard af. Rei wasn’t kidding when she said they’d been bearing that burden of guilt far longer than Enji
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SHOUTO I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE NEXT PANEL IS YOU APOLOGIZING FOR BEING BORN, I WILL... WELL I’LL BE VERY SAD, I GUESS. SO DON’T DO IT
oh good he’s just being quiet. good. it absolutely is not your fault lil bean. it’s not theirs either, but feeling guilty about things that aren’t your fault is a time-honored shounen tradition
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goddammit I braced myself for the angsty Shouto panel a page too early. gotta do it all over again now lol. okay here goes
;_;
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well well well would you look at that
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imagine that. talking things out with your child before they make a rash decision. looks like the Todorokis’ parenting skills are finally leveling up
OH MY GOD
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holy shit. this is the most quintessential moment of father/son Todoroki bonding in the entire series. for me it even tops the “nice scar” scene lol. Enji sobbing at the fact that he still has a chance to set things right. and Shouto offering his hand in what is actually the most mature and selfless gesture I’ve ever seen, and being all “we’ll stop him together” to his dad who he hates, but also doesn’t really entirely hate anymore. and all of that is incredibly moving... BUT ALSO HE STILL REFUSES TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AND HE WOULD LIKE HIM TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ALREADY IF YOU DON’T MIND. “WHEN YOU’RE DONE CRYING...” fkjldsk
OH MY FUCKING LORD
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(ETA: wouldn’t be a Todoroki drama fest if there wasn’t somebody listening in on the whole thing in secret just around the corner lmao.)
“you think we should have waited somewhere else?” “yeah, probably.” “are you feeling a lot of secondhand embarrassment too?” “god, you have no idea.” STFU HAWKS IT’S NOT EMBARASSING TO BE MOVED TO TEARS BY YOUR FAMILY ALL COMING TOGETHER IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR TO GIVE YOU HOPE THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T DESERVE BUT ARE NONETHELESS INDESCRIBABLY GRATEFUL FOR
and anyway you chose these guys as your found family, bucko. too late to back out now. next time go get yourself adopted by the Iidas then
AND MEANWHILE NO WORD ON THE WHOLE “HOW DID A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD SURVIVE A FIRE THAT COVERED HIS BODY WITH HORRIFIC SCARS AND MELTED HIS JAW OFF, AND HOW DID HE SOMEHOW THEN MANAGE TO GO INTO HIDING FOR TEN WHOLE YEARS, AND WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT INTERIM TO CHANGE HIS GOAL FROM ‘SURPASS ALL MIGHT TO IMPRESS MY DAD’ TO ‘KILL ALL HEROES TO MAKE MY DAD SUFFER’.” as if we don’t know the answer to that. but still, would it kill Horikoshi to just confirm AFO’s involvement in all of this already. at this point it’s basically just a formality
so here’s hoping next week we’ll either get that, or more Hawks action, or (DARE I EVEN SUGGEST, I’M AFRAID TO JINX IT) finally cut back to Bakugou and Deku and All Might omg. either way I’m hyped
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Imagine Teaching the hobbits how to swim...
Little swimming headcanons for out little hobbit boys! Let's just assume they dropped in from Middle Earth at some point for an AU!
Frodo
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Unsurprisingly, Frodo was very nervous
Because DUH hobbits can't swim!
It's how he lost his parents after all
However, with some gentle coaxing, you had finally managed to get him in the water
Frodo insisted that he wore floaties like a little toddler
Which was absolutely adorable-
He stayed relatively calm whenever he had his wittle hands around your arm
And finally when he got to the point where his feet didn't touch the bottom of the pool
He
Completely
LOST
IT
Frodo was flailing his arms around and splashing like crazy
He got so stressed and started crying
You were trying to help hold him still and finally pulled him above the water, and he saw that it was just a little above your waist
You had to hold him up by his hips while he practiced strokes and fought against the water
And thankfully after a while of trying
And failing
The ringing bearer soon became a decent swimmer!
It wasn't really his favorite activity in the world
But he would probably agree if you asked him
And frodo would get exhausted so fast
He would probably take a nap on the way home
Frodo could never say no to you :>
Samwise
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Oh Sam
Poor Sam
He tried to seem happy and calm when he was walking down the steps of the pool, but his little hobbit legs were shaking with terror
And why wouldn't he be?
HE had almost drowned after chasing Frodo halfway through the lake back on their journey
However, you were undeniably patient with him
Sam was a lot less panicky than Frodo when he got to the "deep end" (which was actually only 4 feet tall)
Although he was still struggling for breath above the water
You held out an arm for him to grab onto and moved it along the surface of the water as he kicked his hairy feet
Sam had never been used to much physical activity
Maybe this is just me, but I think sam would prefer wearing a swim shirt and trunks because he's afraid he'll get sunburned very easily
And swimming drained him so fast, so you rewarded him with a nice big lunch afterwards
Overall, Sam was a very good swimmer, although it took him a bit longer than the others to learn how
11/10
Very sweet hobbit boi
Merry
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Ah yes
Meriadoc Brandybuck
A troublemaker
He was used to running through the creek and catching frogs or wading past Brandywine River with Pippin, so water wasn't foreign to him
Merry seemed a lot more proud and brave than the others
He wouldn't admit that he was a pretty awful swimmer, and every time he sunk beneath the water, he would bob back up without a hitch, spluttering the chlorine water from his mouth
He also found it quite enjoyable to splash you in the face
And then you would threaten to let go of him and he'd quickly apologize and knock it off
Also, I'd like to think that Merry is up for just relaxing in a floaty or something if he's in a good mood
YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER TAUGHT HIM HOW TO PLAY CHICKEN
Every time you taken the hobbits to the beach or a place to swim
"WHO WANTS TO PLAY CHICKEN?!"
Only because he's ROWDY and being below the water hardly phases him
And everyone immediately yells
"NO"
Though I can't really say the same for the others...
Surprisingly, when it comes to swimming, Merry is much crazier than Pippin
Which is saying A LOT
And it's also scary how well he can use a water gun-
like...
Very well...
Pippin
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Pippin was all talk
That is until he jumped in
You tried to tell him he would probably need help
"Are you sure Pip?"
"Aye, I'll be fine! I am a Took after all!"
His little chest was all puffed out and then he cannonballed into the 5 foot (1 and 1/2 meter) end
And that's when he freaked out
Poor Pip was shrieking and doggy paddling and you had to lift him above the water just like Frodo
He was embarrassed to say the least
But still, you had helped him every step swim of the way
And for some reason, he has this... fascination with goggles
I think it's because he likes to see the bottom of the pool and what's going on underneath him for some reassurance
But all the time
"Have you seen my goggles?"
"Where are my goggles?"
"Sorry Merry, these are my goggles."
He also likes to use them to go under the water and scare the others by grabbing their feet and legs
And if you ever went to the beach, Pippin would be a GOD at making sandcastles
He would try and recreate Gondor-
He loves when you give him piggyback rides in the water 🥺
Way too many splashes fights, but you always end up winning because of your comparably sizeable arms.
Pip would be just fine with wearing swim trunks/ swim shorts
And also, like Merry, he is terrifyingly good at using water guns
swimming is his favorite thing to do besides eat, and it keeps him distracted for a while
In the long run, Pippin still has a lot to learn, but you know he'll turn out to be an excellent swimmer
Bilbo
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Bilbo HATES swimming
He just hates getting wet
If he ever went with you, he'd hardly get his ankles past the water
Usually, you'd have to carry him in while he protests
And he'd never go in past his neck
Bilbo would always freak out if something other than sand or the bottom of a pool touched his feet
One time he swore there was a fish in the pool after your foot brushed past his own
And like Sam, he definitely likes wearing a swimming shirt unless he's tanning/sunbathing
He is SUCH a drama queen, and would much rather sit in a floaty than swim around
*cue sunglasses and cocktail*
However, he doesn't hate all of the beach
He always wants to collect cool shells and rocks with you 🥺👉👈
And once he discovers something called a metal detector, he HAS to get one so he can find treasures!
He also likes holding your hand and walking down the shoreline wif you or watching the sunset
And he HATES seagulls as well
He just wants to enjoy his quiet dinner by the ocean/lake/pond etc.
And those "silly birds" come down and harass him
Being at the pool has also particularly bothered him if there were little kids there
"Too much splashing for me. I'd rather sit in peace and enjoy my drink thankyouverymuch 😡"
And on occasion, Bilbo will swim, though he's not the best at it
He'll wrap his hands around your shoulders and let you swim around while he kicks his feet
Also, I feel like he would HATE the smell of sunscreen??
I don't know, maybe it would make him gag or something 😂
Also terrified of getting water in his very sensitive ears
Also likes to sunbathe, but would have to use a lot of sunscreen
Sassy Baggins
6/10 when swimming, but is usually very enjoyable company
Overall Headcanons For Hobbits (Bonus)
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I have a feeling that the hobbits would burn in the sun pretty easily, especially in a sun that's not as gentle as the one in the shire
So lots of sunscreen for sure
Their big feet would definitely be beneficial when swimming
And they would all have a problem with brushing out their curly hair after swimming at a pool with chlorine
Which you would happily help them with
I think it's safe to say each of them are equally amazed to see how long you can hold your breath and touch the bottom of the pool and open your eyes underwater if the conditions seem fit
They all look like little toddlers when they swim around but that's okay because you're like a proud hobbit mother and it's the cutest thing ever
Their ears are also extremely sensitive, so it's important to try and keep their heads above the water as much as possible (though Merry and Pippin have many protests against it)
And they would all get tired very quick since swimming is a tiring activity for anyone
Okay...
Just imagine seeing a little group of Hobbits trailing behind you, or one or tel holding your hand and wearing sunglasses and bucket hats as you walk to the pool or beach
Or seeing all of the little hobbit bois wrapped up in towels and yawning while you walk home 😖🥺
Or their thick curly hair sticking to their faces and over their eye because of the water
And taking nice long naps after eating a filling lunch 🥺
I think swimming with them would just be an absolute blast and blessing
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matthewbeilschmidts · 3 years
Text
It’s been a long while since I’ve posted but I’m so glad that I am :’)
This is for Day 1: of @prucanweek - Ordinary
Apologies for spelling errors, it’s a little short but I hope you enjoy 😭💞
-
Matthew doesn’t mind that he’s living an ordinary life. Really.
He grows up near the coast, two parents, a fraternal twin brother, and their gangly hairless cat, Tony (picked curtesy of Alfred). Their parents take them everywhere they can during their childhood, the beach, museums, sports game. They focus on their interests, figuring out what the two like and dislike, as they encourage them both to be themselves and do what they love no matter what. Alfred debates between whether he likes wrestling or football more, while Matthew settles into hockey. In between family get togethers, community festivals, and endless sports training, they somehow have time for homework. (The two share answers a lot.)
He and Alfred each have their own rooms when they enter their teen years, a space to decorate and fill with their own mementos and awards. The sports continue, but later their parents find themselves a little bit busier than before. They do though, give them as much time as they can during the school year, never wanting them to go without someone by their side.
Matthew fades into the background a little bit as they get older, while Alfred puts himself front and center. Matthew watches once with a hand over his eyes as Alfred auditions for the school musical, and surprisingly he read and sings the lines well. “It’s always the rowdy ones!” their theater teachers says after he’s finished performing, a mix of anticipation from planning on putting Alfred on stage and dread at the thought of having to manage him.
Matthew silently supports him, after all he has his own things to do.
He’s the co-caption of the hockey team, the coach giving him the position to give him a little more of a voice, and his teammates verbally agree, considering on the ice Matthew has a lot more to show than he does in person. He accepts, albeit hesitantly.
By the time graduation comes by, Matthew can barely believe how the time has passed. His team even wins a championship under his watch. Some of his fellow classmates look so ready to go out and experience the world, and it’s scary to him because weren’t they all going at the same pace?
His parents talk him through picking his college of choice, and he decides to go. He needs to do what everyone does and experience the world.
And if he decides he wants to come home, that’s okay because at least he tries.
-
He’s in his first art class during his third year at university. The time has been going well, he’s got pretty decent grades and has managed to join a few clubs. But he’s not done yet. Extra curriculars, can’t finish without them. He prioritizes his general education first, and even slips himself into a few major classes early on, but humanities is on record now and has to be completed no matter what one’s studying.
He can get through one semester, he hopes.
Next to him, a student is snickering and the professor doesn’t look amused.
“Gilbert.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“If you’re done, I can introduce myself now.”
The professor goes in with complete, in-depth introductory slides with her name and credentials, and a briefing of all they will overcome this semester.
He’s never been an artist, at least not one that picks up a pencil and creates a realistic masterpiece with nothing but that and a pad of paper. Maybe some poetry contests in high school, if that counts. The written word has its own impact, its own set of colors to breathe out for the world to see.
There’s another snicker, interrupting his internal monologue.
He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know the student, and it’s not his place to control others. But, if it starts to hinder the class, maybe he’ll tell him something. He’s paying to be there, too.
The man catches him staring.
“Yes?” he asks Matthew without being spoken to in the first place.
“Oh,” Matthew flushes at being caught, not that he was trying to hide it anyway. “Well, she didn’t say anything funny?”
The guys waves a hand, making a “psssh” noise as he does.
“I’m just laughing because of how formal this all is. She won’t be this dignified later in the semester that’s for sure. She’ll be ripping her hair out.”
Matthew glances back, he doesn’t want to say anyone looks mean but, he would believe it if she was.
“You look scared,” the guy laughs, which is rude because isn’t he the one that just put the thought in Matthew’s mind? “She’s not too mean just a sticker to the rules. Will get real pissy if something doesn’t go right.”
“And you still set her off knowing that?”
The man laughs again, but this time around he’s actually trying to contain it behind the thin art easel. He’s not very hidden.
“She’s my cousin’s wife.”
Ah, that makes sense then? Messing with family is normal, but also he shouldn’t be bothering her at work.
“It’s no wonder you seemed casual.”
“She taught both of the lower division figure drawing classes, too. This is my third semester in her class. She’s the only one teaching this specific class I didn’t have too much of a choice.”
“Art major?”
“Yep! And you?”
“Psychology major. I have to get in some cultural classes.”
“Ever taken art?”
“Actually no, not even in high school. I got through that stuff by working backstage in the theater department.”
“Well not to worry my friend, because you picked the best one.”
“Is it easy to pass?”
“Nope. Well, maybe if she likes your work,” Matthew deflates at the blunt response, “but don’t worry because I’m here to be your guide.”
Matthew perks up, but it takes him a moment. This guy’s gonna help him?
“Are you any good?”
“Am I good?” He looks perplexed Matthew would even ask. Matthew has to cover his own amusement. “I may not look it but charcoal and I go way back. I’ll show you my work later as proof.”
“Deal.”
“Gilbert, since you’re adamant on talking, you can be the first to introduce yourself.”
Even if his name wasn’t said, Matthew feels just as guilty. Caught, for talking on the first day of all things.
“Gilbert Beilshcmidt. Fourth year. I’m an art major and my favorite breakfast food is pancakes.”
Matthew looks surprised that he was paying attention, even to the last addition of their introduction. Matthew’s not sure he would have known considering he was distracted.
-
And so their friendship starts.
-
Gilbert sits next to him again. And again.
Where ever Matthew sits in the art room, Gilbert follows not too long after.
Some days they take the sitting desks, some they stand and lean against the stools.
And despite not even talking much, Gilbert treats him like a friend.
-
“Do you have any plans this afternoon?”
“Nope, this was my last class.”
“Do you want to get some coffee and work on our sketch books.”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
-
Matthew finds himself meeting Gilbert in his downtime. Every Thursday after drawing for three hours becomes the day they meet. At first, all they do is draw, little more.
Gilbert is animated in all moments, but he has short spurts where he focuses exceptionally on his work. Matthew is no art critic, but he thinks Gilbert expresses himself quite well on paper. Graphite, charcoal, and pastels, all the utensils glide easily without a single stroke missing its mark.
Watercolor though, could use some work, which actually happens to be Matthew’s favorite. Even if the intention is to guide the colors with a brush, it’s okay for them to take a life of their own spreading across the thick paper.
They share snacks, art supplies, and their time.
Gilbert proves himself very useful as he promised. Matthew though never planning to be the next Van Gogh, has to pass this class. And it would be nice to pass it with flying colors, but some concepts are harder to grasp than others.
It’s obvious to tell he’s a beginner, while Gilbert excels. Matthew finds out he only now needs the intro class since it’s the first semester it became a requirement.
Gilbert helps him find the shapes he’s comfortable with, explains the processing for hatching and how it relates to shading. And while he’s no expert, he sees a subtle improvement over the next few weeks that makes some pride swell within himself.
-
“Do you want to come with me and my friends to this cool bar for dinner on Friday?” Gilbert asks about a month into the semester.
It’s the first time Gilbert and him will have spent time off campus.
“Yeah, I’d love to.”
-
Gilbert’s friends are just as animated as he, it’s almost hard to keep up. Overwhelming as they are, they’re extremely welcoming. Matthew eases into the atmosphere, joining in when he can but mostly pleased to be out and doing something different.
He’s made friends during his time, but like him they’re a little more reserved and pick quieter places on the town.
It’s fun. And he wants to go out again.
Matthew invites Gilbert and his friends to watch his next hockey game.
After their shock in finding out he plays such a violent sport, they’re all agreeing and planning to find the best seats in the arena.
-
“Are you serious. Are you hiding muscles under that red sweater?”
Gilbert pokes at him, it tickles when he gets closer to his biceps, but he knows he’s only teasing.
“You think I’m playing but I’m serious! You should have been there, well you were there. On the stands, I mean. We all screamed after you sent that player flying against the wall.”
Gilbert recreates the motions, but only slams himself into the wall and whines after he bounces back. He then plays it off like it doesn’t hurt. Gilbert’s not a very good actor.
People tell him it’s so much different watching him on the ice, but it’s still him. He’s always wondered how much different, he feels like himself. He just knows he goes into the zone when he’s in his gear. He just wants to win. And he will.
“It’s like night day,” Gilbert continues. “You were ready to kill a man down there.”
“You’re not the first to say that. I guess maybe, I could be a little more out there in real life, huh?”
Gilbert stops walking.
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
“You’re perfectly fine the way you are. I like the way you are, so don’t go change. I don’t want to be at risk of dying during art class.”
And as silly as it sounds, he’s pleased. He likes Gilbert a whole lot, too. Just the way he is.
-
“Do you want to have dinner with me?” Matthew takes the initiative.
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, just you and me. I want to take you out.”
“Like you did to that guy on the court,” Gilbert laughs nervously.
“On a date. Gilbert, would you like go out with me?”
He says yes.
Later that evening when he’s heading home, Gilbert starts running through the courtyard cheering that “I have a date with the cutest guy I’ve ever met!”
Matthew’s window is open, he’s face is bright red and he slams head first into his pillow. He needs to plan the best first date ever.
-
Three months into dating, he’s finally heading home again for a school break. He wants to take Gilbert with him, who is waiting for the next major holiday to go back home. But isn’t it too soon? They haven’t been dating that long, after all.
But Gilbert surprises him, and jokingly says he wants to go with him because he’ll miss him too much while he’s gone. And then, Matthew asks if he seriously wants to go.
“I do.”
So they ride the 3 hours train down to Matthew’s childhood home. He’s a little bit nervous, because he’s had dates to school dances, and brought friends over, but this is entirely different. This is someone he wants to take a serious step with, even if the time hasn’t been that long. They’ll never get anywhere if they don’t, so they’ll both take the leap and pray it works out.
“Mom, dad, Alfred, this is Gilbert.”
It’s the most timid Matthew’s ever seen him.
“Nice to meet ya, I’m Matthew’s boyfriend.”
After he shakes all their hands, he takes his hand back to link pinkies with Matthew.
There’s not an once of regret in his mind as the long weekend passes.
-
Gilbert graduates the next year, and the year after it’s his turn. They’re going to move in with each other. Gilbert really has no irresistible urge to go back to his home town, satisfied with just visiting a few times a year. And Matthew thinks he would like to go back closer, just to figure out his next move. So, they go together.
It’s only a one bedroom, but is more than enough space for them both. Gilbert finds work as a docent while Matthew works for a second degree in education.
He still plays hockey for a local league, Gilbert becoming their number one fan. They find their own rhythm, a pace that works for them both, where they can settle down or speed up when they agree with each other. Dewey mornings, warm summers, chilly evenings they spend them altogether.
They decide move up North closer to Gilbert’s hometown. Matthew’s more nervous meeting his grandparents than he was introducing Gilbert to his own family, but Gilbert assures him again and again they’re just a stuffy old family who actually really care about each other a lot more than they let off.
Gilbert’s grandfather towers over him, despite being a hair above 6 feet. He’s silent, eyes boring into Matthew as he introduces himself. And to end all of Matthew’s worries, the elder man pulls Matthew into a hug and tells him he’s glad him and Gilbert are home. Gilbert, just as perplexed as he, stares, but he melts into a pleased laugh.
Yeah, this is his and Gilbert’s home now.
-
They stay, for a long while, contemplate moving a few times, but they’re satisfied for now.
Gilbert and him always make time for each other, continue their own respective interests with complete support of the other. They’re never afraid to complain, because they always work through it rather then let it simmer.
Gilbert’s vivacious spirit keep them going, and Matthew’s heart keeps them grounded.
His life at first seem a little bit ordinary, but how can he complain when the pieces of the puzzle fit themselves in and stayed locked in tight.
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shihalyfie · 3 years
Text
Neverland, the role of “nostalgia” in Kiuzna’s narrative, and the 02 quartet’s unusual immunity to it
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In general, the 02 quartet (my shorthand for the four human characters introduced in 02 who weren’t in Adventure, namely Daisuke, Ken, Miyako, and Iori) have a position in Kizuna that you can call “shockingly favorable” in that they’re kept safely out of the most dangerous parts of the plot in ways the others aren’t. This especially sticks out when we get to the Eosmon incident reaching its climax, when Takeru and Hikari are placed in the same situation as their Adventure seniors, despite the movie and its surrounding media generally portraying them closer in line with the others in the 02 group than the Adventure group.
To be a bit blunt about it, the obvious main reason the story is set up this way is meta -- a lot of the climax’s effectiveness depends on the audience getting sensory impact via recognizing things from the original series (including 02 as well; how convenient it is that all of the international Chosen are in the positions 02 fans would recognize!), and so it’s obvious that said climax would evoke imagery related to the series that was Digimon Adventure, while the 02 quartet would be treated extra-kindly by the narrative due to the need to give them compensatory action screentime given certain real-life events. But just because the originating reason is meta doesn’t mean there isn’t also a story reason for it, especially considering the relevance of 02′s themes in Kizuna’s narrative, and the surrounding circumstances regarding both series.
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Before we get into anything else, the first thing that needs to be established is that Menoa and Eosmon’s lure is pretty obviously depicted as working on a subconscious level. This is why everyone else in the narrative agrees that what they did is “kidnapping”, despite her insistence that she’s just doing what they wanted. While they can’t not admit to having moments of weakness, nevertheless, it’s likely that most if not all of the people Menoa kidnapped consciously knew better and had learned better lessons than this a long time ago; if Menoa had consciously offered Neverland to her victims, most of them would have probably said no! But as Daisuke said back in 02 episode 49 -- when he witnessed his own friends being subjected to something similar at the hands of BelialVamdemon -- there’s no sin in having feelings of worries or troubles (and, by extension, irrational feelings in general), and Eosmon’s abilities and Neverland happen to be able to directly target them. In fact, we ourselves got to witness this internal conflict when Menoa made her direct offer to Taichi and Yamato to join Neverland; they briefly considered it because of the circumstances, but were snapped out of it quickly with Agumon and Gabumon’s intervention, and were really, really mad at themselves for considering it shortly after.
We saw the process of how Ayaka became one of the kidnapping victims at the beginning of the movie -- it happened right after she complained that she wasn’t fond of the idea of becoming an adult at this point. So it does lend some truth to the idea that Menoa’s working off something with these cases, and that Eosmon did specifically target people who had those wishes to some degree. Moreover, note carefully how this kidnapping (and some others in the movie) is portrayed; Eosmon doesn’t actually emerge from the device in question (it’s obvious that nobody notices the giant butterfly monster), and the victim’s consciousness and partner are whisked away thanks to being caught by the device camera. In Ayaka’s case, because her phone was sitting on the table, pointed at her. The fact that this is not how the kidnappings are portrayed all the way to the end of the movie is a very significant point.
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So let’s talk about Neverland and its construction. The whole thing is based on Menoa’s own very, very warped view of what “happiness” is. This means that Neverland is only an “ideal world” or “utopia” in a way that makes sense to her -- and once you learn the full extent of her backstory, it becomes apparent how she came to the mentality she did, and, more pertinently, how she ended up projecting that on everyone else. Hence, how she came to decide that she knew better and should decide for everyone, because she thinks she gets the right to decide on everyone’s happiness based on her own experiences. (She doesn’t.)
The way Neverland is constructed is that everyone has “their own places” -- their own individual islands that recreate “memories” of everyone being able to be together with their partner, forever. So in other words, it’s not just that everyone’s being turned into children; it’s that they’re being kept in an eternal loop of their best memory and unable to “move forward”.
Here are three very significant parts about this, which will be important to keep in mind as we go deeper into this analysis:
Menoa’s view of this utopia requires people to be separated -- for all she claims this is a utopia where people can play together, she discourages fraternizing and encourages everyone to stay only with their own partners. This is, presumably, to lessen complications with said memories, because what might be one person’s best memory might not be for another, and also because she thinks one person being alone with their partner is happiness enough in itself. As we’ll be seeing later, this is very much not the case for everyone.
A lot of these memories in Neverland -- and Menoa’s own mentality, as we eventually find out -- are heavily dependent on the concept of rose-colored nostalgia, or, that is to say, conveniently omitting or forgetting about all of the bad things about one’s past in order to portray it as such a wonderful thing that nobody should ever move on from. And in the end, that probably applies to real-life childhood in general, too; as much as it’s so often put on a pedestal for being a time when “everything was simpler”, you can also easily argue that it wasn’t actually all sunshine and roses, it’s just that the process of forgetting things or the grass-is-greener phenomenon makes you conveniently forget all of the bad things and frustration that came with it too.
Because the concept of needing to stay in the past forever is based on the idea that it’s preferable to growing up, these memories thus have a strong premise of “things you cannot do anymore” -- something that, bar going back to the past and never moving from it, you will never get back or be able to sufficiently recreate. It’s unlikely the islands themselves are one-to-one recreating their specific memories in the way they happened, but rather seemingly presenting them the opportunity to “constantly do over” things they want to recreate or do again, as long as those things are associated with a happy thing that isn’t as easily accessible anymore.
In the case of the five Adventure group members who were brought into Neverland, these “memories” that they’re seen trapped in are, of course, from Digimon Adventure.
It is of course foolhardy to pretend that the main reason for this wasn’t meta, since, of course, there’s a huge point to be made here about the relationship between Adventure and nostalgia, plus the simple fact that this is what we’re most likely to recognize and be nostalgic for, but it also makes sense within the context of the narrative; Menoa has an extreme bias towards the happiness of her childhood revolving almost entirely around her partner, and, of course, Adventure was when these kids first had their most formative meetings with said partners. (This is also probably the in-story explanation for why the other international Chosen from 02 appear at or close to their 02 selves; beyond the meta reason of it being a way to make them recognizable when we only knew them for such a short time, it also approximates when they met their own partners.)
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On top of that, Adventure was not all sunshine and roses for its cast! After all, there was a ton of drama and emotional trauma and stress from running away from enemies trying to kill them, or trying to save the universe, and glossing over that is also foolhardy -- but this is also where our concept of “rose-colored” comes in. Menoa’s not offering the kids the entire adventure; she’s offering them a small slice of the moments when they were able to be happy, the moments that made them want to stay in the Digital World for a whole 110 years’ worth of time at the end of Adventure -- she’s basically offering them that very thing they wanted and had ripped away from them at the end of Adventure when the time dilation phenomenon stopped. Take out all of the bad stuff, and suddenly, the events of Adventure seem outright romantic -- it’s the whole school of thought that fueled Adventure’s inspirations of Two Years’ Vacation and Stand By Me, in which a lot of stressful stuff happened and yet you still can’t help but think there was something magical and romantic about it. (I cannot emphasize enough how much of a cultural impact Stand By Me in particular had in Japan, to the point where it’s considered the epitome example of a “coming of age story” and “summer adventure”.)
Let’s take a closer look at what’s on each of the Adventure kids’ personal islands:
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Hikari is probably the one in the most unusual position among this group, since she didn’t join until over the halfway point, and the first arc she got involved in revolved around everyone wanting her and Tailmon dead. Thus, the memory we get to see her involved in is the Numemon factory in Adventure episode 49. Although this was in the middle of the Dark Masters arc (and, uniquely, very close to the end of the series where a lot of stress was involved), due to the limited amount of time she got to be in the Digital World, this was the one time she got to do something really cool and awesome and impressive for herself that had nothing to do with the others (again: see how the requirements for these islands require not fraternizing with friends and being isolated).
One thing that the Adventure kids got to do that wasn’t in play in 02 was that there were a lot of “romantic experiences”, involving strange adventures and things like phone boxes on the beach, and, very significantly, “Digimon friends” -- ones that the kids made a huge note of bonding with over the course of the series. This contributes to a certain sense of whimsy that was involved in this adventure that the 02 quartet ultimately never ended up getting to foster, because the lack of the time dilation phenomenon meant that they spent much less time in the Digital World overall (more on this in a bit), and once the time dilation stopped, it meant that these kinds of “whimsical” experiences were ones the Adventure group was permanently torn away from once that adventure ended. That dropping of the time dilation phenomenon not only cut that initial adventure short, it also prevented any future ones like it from ever happening again.
And, of course, this is an extremely rose-colored memory, because shortly afterwards, the Numemon ended up all sacrificing themselves for Hikari. But hey, when you’re in a space that can eternally loop good memories forever, everything’s fine as long as we conveniently never get to that part, right?
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From this point on, you’ll notice that all of the memories that show up on these islands are from before the halfway point of the series, because after that, things started getting increasingly pear-shaped and much more difficult to disentangle the stress, mental breakdowns, and witnessing of deaths from. (Hikari’s probably wouldn’t have come from such a late incident if she hadn’t joined the party so late.) Although there still were looming threats around the horizon in the beginning of Adventure, they weren’t always immediately apparent to the kids at every turn, and in fact, the beginning of the series involved more of a “well, we’re in this situation and probably need to get home somehow” aura than it did a “the world is in danger and all of us might die” aura. (It’s also in direct contrast to the 02 group, who were given the details of the crisis and what they needed to do roughly from the get-go.) So in other words, if you want to have some rose-colored nostalgia about the romanticism of this adventure, these are some of the best episodes to pull from.
Takeru’s is obviously from the Village of Beginnings, corresponding to Adventure episode 12, when he and Patamon got to have a fun romp through the village, play together, meet Elecmon, and learn about how Digimon are born. It’s also very much something he did without the others, only with Patamon, and had a lot of “fun and happiness” associated with (later solo episodes with Takeru had a lot more upsetting events more intrinsically tied with it), and, again, it’s extremely rose-colored -- it wasn’t even a day later when Angemon died in front of Takeru’s eyes. But hey, that’s even more reason to pick a moment from before then to stay in forever! Can’t have trauma if that trauma never happens, right?
Also, note that Takeru is one of the few here who’s confirmed to be aware of the partnership dissolution issue at this point, and, unlike Koushirou, isn’t confirmed to have accepted a forward-thinking mentality about it yet -- this is a very, very prime time for his fears of being separated from Patamon again to have a nasty relapse.
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Mimi’s is the closest to the midpoint of the series, from the affair with the Geckomon and Otamamon castle (from Adventure episode 25; the metal railings here resemble the stage railings from that episode). It’s from the period of time that was a “lull” -- when nobody actually knew about the encroaching threat of Vamdemon quite yet, and for all it was worth, there was no longer any danger. So Mimi got to live happily in the comfort of the castle and play around with the Geckomon and Otamamon...which, of course, also conveniently excludes the affair where she went on a power trip, made everyone miserable due to her selfishness, and immediately felt guilt over it.
Mimi’s associations with this incident are not entirely negative; she was clearly still having fun singing for them in the end (note how her clothing during that scene involved her regular outfit, which she has on here), and she still had a positive impression of her relationship with the Geckomon and Otamamon as per Adventure episode 47 and 02 episode 6 (and as per 02 episode 15, even though everyone’s initial encounter with TonosamaGeckomon ended badly, nobody actually has any lingering grudge against him). So if you filter out that whole affair with the power trip and the resulting embarrassment, it was a meeting with a bunch of fun Digimon friends, a romantic little castle, and a fun stage session where Mimi got to sing.
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Jou’s refers to the Infinity Mountain incident in Adventure episode 7, and even from the get-go you can already see the level of rose-coloredness in Jou’s gesture -- in the actual incident depicted, Jou went to the mountain out of a sense of obligation and stress, and the initial climbing involved him having a bit of a bickering moment with Gomamon. But once they did get up there, it was actually their first time the two of them got to really “bond” -- and not only that, their encounter with Unimon had Jou even look on it with fascination, before the Dark Gear had ever come into play.
So in the end, Jou really would have found the incident enjoyable and worthwhile if not for that, and from there you can understand why it would be appealing for him to revisit that setting and finally get to have a bit of calm fun with Gomamon there -- especially since, again, the Neverland islands have a very strong preference for isolating the kids from others, and this was one of the few times Jou got to have a major moment of calm like this alone with Gomamon, with a slight reprieve from the constant feeling of stress and duty.
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Koushirou’s most prominently resembles the “sealed room” in the factory in Adventure episode 5, and while Koushirou certainly continued to make a large number of exciting discoveries after that, this was the situation where Koushirou, with no one else but Tentomon to worry about in the immediate vicinity, got to have the largest sensation of “novelty” -- where he first came upon the fascinating discovery of data manipulating reality around him, and he actually got to see the world change around him by wiping things off a wall.
And, of course, there were other things going on like Tentomon confronting him with his first existential crisis, and how things quickly went south with Andromon...but we don’t have to remember that part for now, right?
An interesting thing about Koushirou: the circumstances of how he was “kidnapped” in the first place are actually somewhat obscured compared to the other four in this scene, since Menoa presumably needed him conscious in order to get his list out of him, resulting in his kidnapping scene also involving an emerging Eosmon and not having him be instantly taken the way we see Takeru and Hikari (more on this in the section below). It’s thus unclear whether he’d be in their boat had his position in Menoa’s plan not been unusual -- said memories in Neverland involved “gathering information and learning more”, something he still actively involved himself with even after the events of Adventure, and he’s also the first one to reach a forward-thinking mentality about the partnership dissolution phenomenon. Either way, once he was already dragged into Neverland, it’s natural that the place could find a good memory for him in the same way it did for the other kids who were “manually” dragged in, but the actual method of entry and whether Koushirou's post-Adventure life put him in a mindset similar to that of the 02 quartet (again, see below) is a bit ambiguous.
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So here’s an interesting part about how the 02 quartet gets involved in this story: their own encounters with Eosmon happen during a part where the method of kidnapping has abruptly changed. As many have pointed out, this is also when the degree of the targets Menoa wanted had also suddenly escalated, because while her previous claims had involved the idea of kidnapping like-minded adults (who, indeed, were entertaining thoughts of nostalgia to even some degree), she was now kidnapping actual children, ones who weren’t even nearly at the point of the supposed drudgery of adulthood that Menoa claimed they would eventually have, and with her arrogantly deciding she knew better for all of them. The part that becomes particularly intriguing about this is that the exact same thing happens with Miyako -- she is explicitly stated to have connected her laptop to the Internet, resulting in an Eosmon physically emerging and chasing her instead of instantaneously snatching away her consciousness through a camera like her own fellow 02 group members Takeru and Hikari.
So in other words, the 02 quartet’s favorable position in this incident doesn’t just have to do with being lucky enough to have gotten Koushirou’s warning about the Eosmon early; they (or at least Miyako) also seem to have a certain degree of outright immunity to it, much like the young children who aren’t old enough to have nostalgia yet. (Also, keep in mind that Takeru was caught thanks to a security camera; “excess caution with electronic devices” alone wouldn’t necessarily have guaranteed their safety.)
Recalling that, for the most part, Takeru and Hikari are usually treated more like 02 group members in the context of this narrative yet are, in this one case, treated as being potentially nostalgia-prone, it stands to reason that the main difference between the two of them and their fellow members in the 02 group is the fact that Takeru and Hikari went on the adventure in 1999, and the quartet did not. So in other words, the reason the 02 quartet isn’t as prone to this is not so much that they’re fundamentally different-minded people, as much as they have a distinct lack of an experience they can be attached to the way the Adventure group is to their own 1999 adventure. (Remember that Menoa’s kidnappings work heavily on subconscious feelings; you can’t blame anyone for having these kinds of feelings no matter how much they’ve consciously learned.)
As I said earlier, it’s foolhardy to pretend that Adventure was all sunshine and roses, and, likewise, it’s also foolhardy to pretend that 02 was nothing but suffering for everyone involved. Both series involved a lot of balancing of funny, silly moments to be treasured as much as they involved stress (which is why people are so attached to both, after all). So the question is not so much how happy they were in their childhoods as much as the nature of what that happiness came from, and what relation it has to their current lives. And when you look at what experiences the 02 quartet had back in 02, you might notice a thread of the fact that it is significantly harder to romanticize the events of 02 than it is Adventure.
Let’s put it this way: Let’s say that the 02 quartet was kidnapped into Neverland and placed onto islands that fit Menoa’s view of happiness. What, exactly, would you pick from 02 itself that would work? What kind of “happiness” did they have back then that��s so romantic, so impossible to replicate now, that they’d want to go back to because it’s better than their lives now once you disentangle all of the bad stuff?
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...Not much. Not much at all, actually. Hanging out in the computer room together? Doesn’t seem like they cared that much about the computer room part as much as the fact the others were there bantering with them (which would put a huge nail in Menoa’s islands mandating isolationism). Going out on a picnic together? No reason they can’t just go on another picnic again (and if the BD box is to be believed, that’s exactly what they did, and they even added Ken to it while they were at it). Hanging out with their Digimon in real life and doing silly hijinks? They’re...probably still doing that now, actually. Getting to find true happiness at a Christmas party? That’s a party from the real world (again, something they most certainly continued to do thereafter), one where the happiness came not from the romanticism of anything that happened to do with some adventure, but just the happiness of being surrounded by true friends, which, again, Ken is still clearly getting to do by the time of Kizuna.
Once you look at the circumstances of what the “adventure” of 02 was to the 02 group, you may realize that it doesn’t really resemble the traditional romantic image of an “adventure” much at all. Sure, they were blessed with being able to regularly go back and forth between the Digital World from the get-go, but it meant that -- especially without the time dilation in play -- the Digital World became much less of a picturesque area associated with a one-time memorable adventure as much as something they had to squeeze in their after-hours while juggling it with their school. The circumstances they encountered their Digimon and the Digital World in were at a point where it had a certain level of “mundane” to them, compared to their seniors; it wasn’t a “fantasy adventure in the Digital World” when so much of the story also revolved around real-world events as well, and you can’t really find many “mysterious fantasy” events in 02 that resemble much of those in Adventure. The closest might be...Daisuke seeing Numemon pile out of a vending machine in 02 episode 1? (Not very romantic.) Daisuke getting chased around by a Tortomon in 02 episode 22? (Really not very romantic.) Iori getting to tour the ocean with Submarimon? (Implied to more about relief from how much he was holding himself back than the uniqueness of the experience in itself.) Ken’s long-time-ago flashback from 02 episode 23 about meeting Wormmon for the first time? (Defeating a Gazimon is hardly that impressive; the important part was him bonding with Wormmon, which he’s...uh...still doing now?)
There weren’t any lasting relationships with Digimon friends like the ones in Adventure, maybe encountering some civilians once and not seeing them much again after that, especially since the lack of time dilation meant not getting to spend as much time visiting them much at all (think about all of the really fun experiences that the Adventure group probably had that weren’t shown in the actual Adventure TV series, just because it probably didn’t have enough drama that would make a good TV episode plot). This means that there’s very little, if at all, of 02 that represents something this group would want so badly to recreate that they can’t already do now; everything from back then was either something comparatively mundane, or something they actually would not want back. Unlike with Adventure, where a lot of the kids had irreplaceable moments that only happened to be spoiled a bit later, a lot of the “really awesome accomplishments” from the first half of 02 were explicitly against Ken, someone whom they’d probably rather not dwell on fighting again because of how much they love him now; many of those good memories are “retroactively poisoned” because of that, and it’s much, much more difficult to make a rose-colored version of those memories disentangled from the bad, because of how fundamentally intrinsic that retroactive poisoning becomes.
And, when you think about it, the mandate of “you have to be alone on your own island” would pretty much break these four in particular, especially since the 02 group is portrayed as the type to need mutual support more than anything else, and so many of the events that represent “happiness” specifically involved the happiness of each other being present. It’s not to say that the 02 quartet had no moments of happiness when alone with their partners, but, rather, being with each other provided so much more fulfillment to them that Menoa’s offer of a memory of their past that requires them to be alone probably pales in comparison to anything they could do now in each other’s presence. Maybe, like with the other kids depicted in these scenes, they could be buttered up with something nice if you successfully got them into Neverland, but it’s not like they have any real wistfulness about anything from back then to the point that they’d be subconsciously drawn towards it instead of having to be dragged in kicking and screaming -- and especially in the case of Miyako, the same one who managed to evade an Eosmon here, who was offered a similar “chance to be alone” back in 02 episode 49 and didn’t take very long to decide she hated it because of how much of her happiness comes from getting to be with others.
By the time of the end of Adventure, the Adventure kids’ ideal situation was to have a romantic and fun 110-year adventure with the sights and fun of the Digital World, with all of the weird fantasy surrealism and less of the world-saving, and that’s something they never got to have (and that Menoa was inherently offering them). By the time of the end of 02, the 02 quartet’s ideal situation was...to find a way to get back to normal life and hope their friend feels a little better, and that “ideal situation” is still persisting even into the time of Kizuna, so it’s hard to imagine they really want more than that.
And, again, when you extrapolate this into what Kizuna’s trying to say about real life, adulthood, and nostalgia: it is true that Menoa’s projecting a belief that absolutely does not apply to everyone. While it’s true that many people feel that childhood had a certain kind of magic that you can’t get back in adulthood, there are possibly just as many people who aren’t really all that nostalgic to begin with, either due to trauma or something about their childhoods being miserable, or, even in the lack of such miserable events, simply enjoying the added freedom and expanded range of ability that comes with adulthood to the point they consider it to be more than worth the tradeoff. The 02 group basically represents this crowd -- Ken’s life right now beats out his past in pretty much nearly every respect, and while there are certain concerns about not being able to meet up as often, they’re finding the same ways to do the same kinds of over-the-top hijinks they did back in 02, with arguably even more range now that they get to exploit Digital Gates to do world travel and act without worrying about their parents. They’re basically like the adults who see Menoa’s creed of “childhood is better because adulthood sucks” and go “sorry, can’t relate.”
That said, remember: this isn’t because the 02 quartet is somehow mentally stronger or anything, but rather just a byproduct of what experiences they've had and haven’t had. Takeru and Hikari’s position is unique here -- for all intents and purposes their mentalities are portrayed as closer to the 02 group’s, but they did still have the experience their seniors had and are thus still capable of being close to their position in this one regard. In the end, everyone is different, it’s no sin to have feelings based on those differences, and “being able to relate” to one’s position is also an important key here; because the 02 group’s position is so alien to Menoa’s, it’s unlikely they could have tackled her problems nearly as intimately as their seniors could.
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What we learn about Menoa’s backstory establishes that she forced her vision of nostalgic happiness on everyone based on her own perception of her past in such a warped, rose-colored manner. She conveniently omitted or forgot about details such as the fact that her life as a “child” involved feeling ostracized from everyone and that she herself was guilty of neglecting Morphomon. Not only that, she herself claims that she’s the only one who knows what this feels like -- that nobody relates to her -- and thus, you can see that she came to her conclusion that her experiences are universal by the power of sheer extrapolation, hence why she thinks everyone inevitably loses their partner upon reaching adulthood despite pretty significant amounts of evidence to the contrary. (For all it’s worth, the fact that she still considers herself as having “become an adult” at 14 just because she got into university at that time is pretty conceited.)
Menoa’s existence as being so starkly in contrast to the 02 quartet’s is very likely because her entire character was built up from the ground that way -- her entire backstory of skipping grades into university is heavily based on 02′s initial development premise and Ken’s own backstory, meaning she explicitly represents the path that Ken and the other 02 kids chose not to take, and the timing of certain events in her backstory seems almost deliberately engineered to prevent her from witnessing some of 02′s important answers to Kizuna’s conflict, most notably her inability to witness the final battle and the important lessons everyone present learned about following one’s dreams without restraint, and how that relates to one’s partner. Menoa’s mindset is basically that level of incompatible with 02′s themes of “moving on from the past” and “not caving to arbitrary societal expectations”, to the point her character could only get to this point by going out of the way to exclude her from 02′s story and events, because she’s fundamentally built as a character who started off on a very similar path as them (getting to integrate her Digimon partner into normal life, having a similar backstory to Ken) before veering off on a very different one.
Moreover, about that backstory, and the reason why 02 was conceived as such a criticism of the concept of “skipping grades into university”: the concern that someone in this position will be kept from making any friends their age. Menoa puts the moment of “being with one’s partner” on such a pedestal and considers herself to be “the only one who knows what this feels like” partially because she has a fundamentally warped view of friendship itself. Even the Adventure group, which may not have had quite the absurdly tight level of bonding the 02 group had, still broke out of the illusion via Taichi and Yamato reaching out to them, and Taichi and Yamato giving each other mutual support helped them make the decisions they did in the movie. The movie is titled “bonds”, and “bonds” doesn’t just refer to those between human and Digimon partner, but also bonds between each other; Taichi, Yamato, and Sora slowly drifting away from the others at the start of the movie has very strong relevance to their respective existential crises, and the role that Taichi and Yamato play in supporting each other, and Mimi’s in supporting Sora in To Sora and even beyond that, say a lot as to how they’re already expected to be much better off than Menoa was.
It’s not that adulthood is inherent drudgery; it’s that Menoa’s own circumstances really are that warped to the point where she sees her very unusual experiences as fundamentally synonymous with how life is supposed to work in general. She was so obsessed with “being independent”, “being useful to the world”, and “being on her own” that she had no mentality of making friends or connecting to others besides her own partner, and once her partner disappeared, she seemed to make no attempt to rectify that. So of course her life in university following that ended up being not nearly as fulfilling as she’d hoped, since she was getting no real emotional support from anywhere, and, as 02 itself also drove home, apparent “approval from society” only ever makes you as “happy” as a Dark Seed-implanted child if you’re not also being supported by your loved ones in the process. Her adulthood sucked, and she decided that everything about her rose-colored childhood meant that childhood is fundamentally superior in every way, and thus decided that keeping everyone else in it would be “saving” them from the terror it involves -- even though (even if they’re not aware of the specifics of everything) the 02 quartet is not the kind to be able to relate to this at all, and, eventually, Taichi and Yamato, who do understand her position a bit better due to their own experiences, are able to get her to reconsider a little.
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just for you, honeybee (3/?)
pairing: bucky barnes x reader, steve rogers x reader (platonic)
word count: 3,986
authors note: part three!!!! I'm honestly so happy with how this is turning out so please leave feedback and lmk how I'm doing! thank you all so much :)
warnings: swearing, super soldier serum injection, needles, drinking
summary: dating back to 1943, you, james barnes, and steve rogers were best friends, including bucky being your boyfriend. when you get a notice that bucky died in the war, you make it your mission to find closure for yourself and protect steve as he is the only remaining piece of bucky you have left. once you are offered the super soldier serum, you and steve must make your way through world war 2 - and the unknown future hardships to come.
recap: You picked at your nails, anxiety swallowing you whole, “and what if you don’t make it back, either?”
“I will.”
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-
It had only taken you 5 days to make up your mind: either go with Steve as he finishes out his mission with the army or wait in Brooklyn upon his return. “Well,” you always bit back, “if you return.”
You did not want to stay in Brooklyn and wait for Steve to come back. You had done that with Bucky and after learning his tragic death, you needed to go with Steve. You didn’t care who you had to fight – you were protecting Steve Rogers and looking after him, just like James would have wanted.
Peggy Carter immediately welcomed you and seemed somewhat relieved when you had met with them outside your apartment complex, bags packed and ready to go. She had given you a soft smile and a nod, making you feel more at calm with your decision. However, before you left, you needed to say goodbye – just in case.
Dressed in a tie-neck floral dress, you headed across the street to where Grover was, selling newspapers once again in the early morning. However, when he wasn’t on the sidewalk, he was in your apartment, holding you as you cried for Bucky. Grover had helped you open Bucky’s files and put on his dog tags; he was there while Steve was sorting out your arrangements with Peggy. He had your snot stains on his nicest shirts that you always apologized for, and he had carefully placed the dog tags over your head; Grover was certainly one of your rocks when Steve needed to grieve on his own, which you understood.
Noticing your approaching figure, Grover stood up and shooed people away from his stand, meeting you halfway. He noticed your solemn look, “you goin’ with Mr. America?”
With a nod, you wrapped your arms around the older man’s neck, his chubby arms meeting your waist in a split second, “I have to, Grove. I needta’ keep my promise to James, and watch after Stevie.”
Grover tightened his grip around you and squeezed, much like a father would, “sure that super soldier can’t do it himself? Looks more than capable.”
You shook your head against his neck, “I promised – I promised James; you know that.”
Grover pulled away, resting his hands on your shoulders, “I know you did, kid…but that don’t mean it still pains me to see ya go…Come back here, the both of you, in one piece – ya hear me?”
With a nod, you squeezed Grover’s hand on your shoulder and went back to where Steve and Peggy were standing by an army truck, your bags already in the trunk. As the two looked back at you, you gave a curt nod, “I’m ready.”
Steve helped you into the backseat as Peggy headed up front, starting the truck up once you were all piled in. As you rode off, away from Brooklyn, you looked back to your home, and gave a sad wave to Grover who was already back to selling newspapers – but you saw him wiping his cheeks. Tears flooded your eyes as you imagined you and Bucky finding a nice white picket house in Brooklyn once he came back like he promised. Turning back around, you wiped your eyes, looking forward to the road, a hand wrapped around Bucky’s dog tags.
Only a little while into the car ride, you leaned forward, asking the two soldiers a question, “where exactly are we headed?”
Steve turned around towards you, “first, Camp Lehigh where we’ll get you some ID so they know you’re with Peggy and me. Then, London, where Colonel Phillips got a lead on Schmidt’s new hideout.”
You looked down at your nails, picking at the skin surrounding them, “can I be of help in any way? And, uh… who is Schmidt?”
Peggy glanced back at you for a quick moment, “how are your fighting skills, y/n?”
Steve gave her a glare, “no, absolutely not.”
The driver looked back once more, expecting an answer. You glanced at Steve, “I’ve got experience with guns and hand-on-hand combat.”
Steve shook his head, “that’s nice but I’m not letting you do what I think Peggy is insinuating.”
Peggy elbowed him before she answered you, “there’s a chance your skills may come in handy, Miss y/n, but it won’t be an easy feat.”
You nodded to her, “I’d like to be of any service I can, Agent Carter.”
Steve grumbled, “am I just invisible to you two?” That finally got a giggle out of you and Steve glanced back, squeezing your hand, before turning towards the front.
You waited a few moments before you tapped Steve’s shoulder, getting his attention, ���hmm?”
With a head tilt, you asked again, “who is this Schmidt guy? Never got an answer earlier.”
Steve seemed a bit tense when you asked before answering you, “he’s a confidant to Hitler and closely affiliated with Hydra. Once we take down Schmidt, we get closer to taking down Hitler.”
Your eyes had widened during his short summary, “so you really been killin’ Nazis, Stevie?”
He huffed, “been trying too – mostly taking over Hydra bases. Buck was more the killing Nazi type.”
With a slight smile, you squeezed Steve’s hand, “sounds like our James.”
The rest of the ride was quiet, save for some mindless chatter over Peggy’s radio.
By the time you three got to Camp Lehigh, getting your identification was nothing out of the ordinary; however, being looked at with either such sorrow or surprise was a shock. You had assumed people knew about Bucky, but you never thought Bucky had told everyone about the girl from home, nor that they knew what she looked like. Tears flooded your eyes very quickly at the image of Bucky boasting about his Brooklyn girl and everything about her, and apparently, his words got all the way back to New Jersey.
Even when you got to the London Bunker, more dejected looks were given your way. Some sick part of you wished he hadn’t made you such a big deal, but if he were still alive, you’d be flustered. With subtle hands, you quietly put Bucky’s dog talks within your new army greens officer uniform. While you definitely were not an officer, Peggy had no problem lending you one of hers, telling you that if someone had a problem with it, take it up with her.
You clearly remembered her conversation as she dragged you into her tent, quickly shoveling through a trunk of hers, “are you alright wearing one of these? I have a few different sizes – whatever fits you.”
You accepted a green skirt of hers with a nod, along with a tan-colored blouse and a green jacket. Thankfully, it had no medals on it so you didn’t exactly feel as if you were impersonating a soldier.
You looked towards Peggy as she made her leave, “thank you, Agent Carter…You truly did not have to do this but – but I appreciate it.”
Peggy gave a soft smile as she opened the tent, “anything for Barnes’ girl.”
Right when she left, you sobbed for a good 20 minutes. You remember mumbling to yourself, “I hope I still am your best girl, Jamie.”
Over the next few days, you had quickly grown accustomed to the troops' fast pace and overall serious atmosphere, along with their Colonel. You would never admit it to the man, but Colonel Phillips scared you when you two had first met; you wondered if he had ever laughed in his entire life. And you definitely wouldn’t tell him this either, but you knew he was a big softie underneath that whole ‘I’m Colonel Phillips and you have to be intimidated by me’ attitude. Once you had arrived in London, you made it your mission to make the Colonel laugh, whether it be at your expense or someone else’s – but it took your mind off James; well, as much as it could.
One man who admired your mission and seemed to play along with it was Mr. Howard Stark; when the two of you weren’t messing around, history was being made, and changing the world for the better was your first priority.
Besides his cocky attitude, Howard had truly become one of your favorite people – besides Captain America himself, of course. When Steve had introduced you to the team focused on finding Schmidt and the rest of Hydra, Howard had taken to you liking a father hen, showing you his new tech and his favorite, the new vibranium shield he made for Cap. He was so ecstatic about showing a new face his greatest creation and how indestructible it was; as he told you, everyone else did not seem as impressed and he needed someone with a brain like yours to comprehend what he made.
While nobody else knew, he had also shown you the last remaining vial of the super-soldier serum Dr. Erskine had made and thus, what Howard had been trying to recreate. He had almost been successful but told you he did not want to use Erskine’s last vial on someone, in case it ever came to that. Instead, he wanted to try his own, one that would not affect one’s looks physically but included all the enhancements. Now that got you intrigued; you loved Steve, truly, but if you ever got the chance to take Stark’s serum and wanted a husband in the future, you did not want to look so…bulky.
The two of you worked closely together, using Stark brainpower and L/N design skills and expert eye to create the new symbol for Captain America.
With a pretty decent paint job on your part, both you and Howard took a step back from the upheld shield, looking over the new red, white and blue design, fit with a silver star. Tears filled your eyes but you refused to let them fall as Howard rested a hand on your back – your Stevie would be carrying that shield proudly very shortly.
Howard pulled you into a quick side hug, “Sergeant Barnes would be proud of you, kid. Look at you, designing Captain America’s new shield!”
With a soft laugh, you wiped your eyes, “I hope he would be.”
Before Howard stepped away to give you some space, you grabbed onto his arm, eyes darting towards the suitcase underneath his desk, “can I ask you something, Howard?”
Howard crossed his arms, “what’s goin’ on inside that head of yours, kiddo?”
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, “listen, I know you’re gonna say no, but I just… I need to get this out.”
Howard noticed your serious tone and pulled you against a corner of the huge bunker that had been your home for the past couple of days, surrounded by books that you had read in record time, “go on, kid.”
You fumbled over your words, nails scratching against your skin, “do you think – do you think I could take the serum? Your recreation, of course – I saw your successful attempts and I want to take it. I’ve thought it over, truly, and it’s what I want. Ever since James – ever since James died, I’ve felt so lost and useless; I want to do something, something that James would be proud of. And I know you’re gonna say no, but Howard, I really need to do this, so please-“
Howard interrupted you, hand held up calmly, “let’s talk to Colonel Phillips, okay?”
Your eyes grew wide, “real-really? No immediate reprimanding?”
He looked at you with soft eyes, “I know what you’re feeling, y/n, and it’s not a good feeling. While I wish there was another solution other than you taking the serum, I – I’m not opposed to it. Maybe we need a sidekick.”
You gave a slight smile as he grinned back, “thank you, Howie.” He pinched your arm in response to his nickname, narrowing his eyes playfully.
The moment you asked Colonel Phillips for a private meeting with you, him, Howard, and Peggy, he already seemed on edge. Woke up on the wrong side of the cot, sour coffee, you weren’t sure – but you were sure that he was not going to be happy with your idea.
As expected, the meeting with Colonel Phillips was not exactly great; he may have thrown a fit and yelled at you for even suggesting such a thing. Okay, ouch, that stung – you genuinely thought it was a good idea.
You had interrupted during such fit, “sir, may I remind you that Steve Rogers had no prior fighting experience yet he got the super-soldier serum? I have the skills – well, some skills - the will to fight, and the…”
You stopped.
“I have a purpose, just like Steve,” you began once more, “Hydra took away the most important person in my life and I’ll be damned to hell if I’m not gonna do anything to stop them. So please, sir, let me do this.”
Peggy Carter stood beside Colonel Phillips, her lips twitching up in a slight smile, “you remind me of him. Of Barnes.” The Colonel grumbled.
You felt a shiver run down your spine, “I guess he rubbed off on me.”
Peggy looked to Colonel Phillips as he was deep in thought, until he spoke, “you talk to Rogers about this?”
You shook your head, “no, sir.”
Colonel Phillips crossed his arms, “I suggest you bring it to his attention before we make a final decision, l/n. Then, if we decide yes, we’re going to need to change the plan just a tad bit.”
With a nod, you stood up and walked out of the meeting room, hoping to find Steve around the corner somewhere; on your way out, you already heard Colonel Phillips grumbling about how it would be nice to have another super-soldier.
One of the Howling Commandos spoke up during your search for Steve, “he’s over at Crocker’s Folly. Bar right across the street from here, kid.” You thanked him and walked out of the site, spotting a very beat-down bar just across the street, surprisingly still standing.
Heading over, you had honestly no idea how to bring up the idea of you taking the serum to Steve; it definitely was no normal conversation. You knew he would say no, but you wanted to take it and be of use during the war and avenge Bucky in any way you could. Once inside, you heard a radio in the distance of the bar, unsure of what song was playing. Following the sound, broken glass and among other things crunched under your footsteps, letting Steve know someone was there.
Sitting at a table with a bottle of liquor and a glass by himself, your best friend turned around and glanced at you, pulling up a chair. You gave a small smile, finding the seat right across from him, “are you okay?”
Steve shrugged, “that Dr. Erskine said the serum wouldn’t just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing… which means uh.. –“
“You can’t get drunk.”
Steve shot you a look, “when you’d get so smart?”
You kicked his foot with a chuckle, “when I started hangin’ out with Howard.”
He gave a sad smile as tears flooded his eyes, “I am so sorry, y/n.”
You choked back a sob, eyes filling with tears, “it wasn’t your fault, Stevie. I know that you did everything you could.”
Steve’s eyes were brimmed red, “how are you – how are you staying so strong?”
Clearing your throat of the sob making its way up, you licked your lips, “I feel like I’ve cried too many tears, Steve. I want to cry more, my god I do, but I know he wouldn’t want that.”
Steve nodded, “’m sorry to bring him up, I just…” he mumbled, “I’m going to kill Schmidt and all of Hydra if it’s the last thing ‘m gonna do, y/n.” His hand had curled into a fist and you felt the anger radiating off of him.
You grasped his hand, softly uncurling it, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something, pertaining Schmidt.”
Steve let out a grumble, taking one last sip of his drink, “everything okay?”
You nodded, “I – I’m okay. But Howard…he has a remaining vial of the serum from Dr. Erskine and has even recreated it himself. I talked to Peggy and Colonel Phillips and I’m going to take it, the recreation.”
Steve’s eyes shot up to yours, “Y/N, I can’t – I can’t let you do that. It’s too dangerous and I promised –“
“Steve,” you stopped him, “I know you promised Bucky that you would look out for me. I promised him that about you, too. But I want to do this. It’s my decision and I’m hoping you’ll let me do this for myself and Buck.”
The man across from you looked down at his glass for a long while before he looked you in the eyes with a grin, “’gonna pretend I can get drunk and forget why I even agreed.”
A small smile formed on your lips as you reached over, squeezing his hand, “thank you, Stevie. Now c’mon, we got a serum to inject and plans to tweak.”
When the two of you reached the bunker once again, you nodded to Howard and he let out a breath. He was not exactly looking forward to this, injecting you with the serum, but it’s what you wanted. Word quickly got to Colonel Phillips who seemed a bit relieved himself, glad there were no tantrums thrown – much like his.
Down the many halls of the bunker, Howard, Peggy, and a few nurses prepared an operation room, a bed centered in the middle of the room as lights displayed it. Once you were injected, you would need a few moments to recollect yourself – both of them knew this.
You, Colonel Phillips, and Steve stood outside the operation room, looking in as Howard laid out the serum and sedation if needed. The Colonel spoke up first, looking down at you, “you certain about this? There’s no guarantee you’ll live.”
You nodded, “I’m aware, Colonel. But I’ve thought it through and it’s what I want.”
Steve looked to you as the Colonel looked on, “you yell for me if you need me, okay? I’m right outside.” You gave him a small smile before you headed inside per Howard’s direction.
Steve stopped you once more, “and y/n?”
You turned around to look at him as he continued, “you’re a good person. Maybe not a perfect soldier yet, but a good person.”
You smiled at Steve, “looks like I’ll need you as my teacher once I become your sidekick, Stevie.” You both let out a chuckle.
Nurses stood behind the two tables surrounding the cot you were instructed to lay on, taking off your shirt and tossing it into Peggy’s arms, letting out a whistle, immediately calming your nerves. You flashed her a smile which she returned.
Bright lights shining onto your body – now only clad in a bra and some army green cargo pants – your gaze shifted to Howard. He looked albeit nervous but once he caught your eye, all nerves disappeared, “how ya feelin’ kid?”
You chuckled, “like I’m about to be turned into a super-soldier.”
Howard’s shoulders shook with a slight laugh, “that’s nuts – it’s almost as if I’m administering said serum. I’m gonna inject you with some penicillin, okay?”
You nodded your head, looking towards the window where you saw Steve looking way too tense. With a smile, you gave him a thumbs up in which he chuckled at, shaking his head. Beside him stood the Colonel who looked nervous himself, but with a blow-kiss, you saw him roll his eyes and turn back into your stern Colonel Phillips.
Howard spoke up, grabbing your attention, “now, y/n, your transformation will be a bit different from Steve’s, but the outcome should be the same – just no outer physical changes, as I mentioned. No need for nerves. You ready?”
You nodded, and with a deep breath, you felt the sharp needle penetrate your skin, injecting you with the serum. As the serum coursed through your veins, your skin felt as if it were on fire, your breaths growing quicker and sweat already forming on your skin. Howard noticed your breaths, “deep breaths, kid, don’t rush the process. You got this. How ya feelin’?”
You grunted, “burning – hot but cold. Freezer burn.”
Howard grew pale, somehow making sense of your words, “okay, y/n, you gotta fight this. Don’t let the serum override your body – you gotta let it combine with your cells. C’mon, kid!” Peggy’s grip tightened on your shirt as she looked on, whispering words of encouragement.
Outside, Steve and Colonel Phillips began pacing, the Colonel glaring through the window, telling himself that he could telepathically communicate with you and force you to live through this. Steve bit his thumb, growing more and more anxious by the second.
Your body had now started to sweat profusely, the shine adding itself to your figure as you breathed heavier, a gasp and a sharp scream leaving your lips. Steve immediately ran in, holding your hand, “y/n, come on, please! Fight this – don’t give up, please. I – I need you, we all do.”
In a split second, your eyes opened, meeting Steve’s for a split second before you let out another yell, eyes squeezing shut once more, “Steve! It hurts – it hurts!”
Your whole body felt as if it were on fire yet hypothermic, your chest feeling so heavy that it was difficult to breathe. Every cell in your body felt as if it were being torn apart and being put back together again; you talked to yourself in your head, “how the hell did Steve do this?”
Steve ran a hand over your now-damp hair, “I know, I know, but you got this, y/n. Once you beat this, we’ll go and kill those sonsabitches at Hydra, you hear me? You gotta beat this.”
Over time, which honestly felt like hours, your body slowly started to welcome the serum and new changes within your body, your breathing returning to normal and sweat disappearing onto the cot below you, body returning to normal temperature. With only a slightly bloody nose, you felt…good. Resting against the cot, you let out a sigh, eyes fluttering.
Howard hooked an IV up to your arm, returning the liquids you had sweat out, pushing your shoulder lightly, “’gotta talk to me, kid.”
You grumbled, “’m tired…but feel like I could run a marathon.”
Steve’s hand squeezed yours as he let out a laugh, looking up to the ceiling, “that’s your girl, Barnes. You did great, y/n – you did great.”
Eyes still shut, you hummed, “mmm…do I have abs of steel now?”
Steve chuckled, “would it make you feel better if I said yes?”
You nodded your head, a dopey smile on your face. Steve continued, “I wouldn’t want to fight you in the ring, bug.”
Slowly but surely, you opened your eyes, adjusting to the way your body felt and sensed everything around you. With a grunt, you rubbed your eyes, glancing at your hands – hmm, they looked the same?
Howard noticed your confusion, “Remember what I said, kid? No outer physical changes, but you got all the upgrades Rogers has. Better looking, obviously,” you let out a soft laugh, “just not as bulky.”
With a hum, you sat up, fighting off Steve and Howard’s mother hen tendencies, “’mentioned that earlier…bulky. ‘m fine, by the way – stop worryin’.”
Slowly getting off the cot, you walked around the room, stretching your legs and your whole body. Everything felt different but good; it’s like your senses and every cell within your body were heightened. “It felt cold,” you mentioned to Howard, “the serum.”
He nodded, “as opposed to the vita-rays, we had to keep it in cold storage. Easier that way.”
You hummed, and while turning around in the small room, your eyes met Steve’s once more, “well Captain, what now?”
-
Honeybee Taglist:
@clownerlyluv @ginger-swag-rapunzel
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dailytomlinson · 3 years
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While many artists would jump at the chance to tell you how lockdown has been a fruitful opportunity for self-improvement, full of pseudo self-help books and pompous podcasts, former One Directioner Louis Tomlinson is adamant that he has done, well, nothing.
“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”
Twenty-eight--year-old Tomlinson from Doncaster was always the down-to-earth Directioner, frequently describing himself as fringe member who spent more time analysing the band’s contracts than singing solos, known for chain-smoking his way through several packs of cigarettes a day and swearing like a trooper. A rarity, these days, among millennials who’d rather suck on a stem of kale and tweet about their #blessings.
He's getting ready to rehearse an exciting one-off gig that will be live-streamed from a secret London location on December 12, announced today exclusively via the Telegraph. The proceeds of the night will be split across four charities: The Stagehand Covid-19 Crew Relief Fund and Crew Nation, Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice and Marcus Rashford’s charity FareShare, to help end child poverty.
The gig means a great deal to Tomlinson, whose first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.
No doubt he was anxious to get it right following a decade “grown in test tubes”, as Harry Styles once described the band’s formation on the X Factor, where they came third before going on to make a reported $280,000 a day as the most successful band in the world. The pressure, too, was intense: all four bandmates had already released their own solo debuts.
Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?
“The thing that I always enjoyed the most about One Direction was playing the shows, so my master plan, when I realised I was going to do a solo career, was always my first tour. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for the best part of five years now. I got so close, I got a taste for it, and it’s affected me like everyone else, but I’m forever an optimist,” he says down the phone, with what I can only imagine to be a rather phlegmatic shrug.
Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?
“You know what,” he says, reflecting, “maybe because I’ve had real dark moments in my life, they’ve given me scope for optimism. In the grand scheme of things, of what I’ve experienced, these everyday problems...they don’t seem so bad.”
Tomlinson is referring to losing his 43-year-old mother, a midwife, to leukemia in 2016, and his 18-year-old sister Felicite, a model, to an accidental drug overdose in 2018. The double tragedy is something he has been open about on his own terms, dedicating his single, Two of Us, from WALLS, to his mother Johannah, while often checking in with fans who have lost members of their own family.
It’s not unusual for Tomlinson to ask his 34.9 million followers if they’re doing alright, receiving hundreds of thousands of personal replies. It’s not something he will discuss in interviews, however, after he slammed BBC Breakfast for shamelessly probing his trauma in February this year. “Never going back there again,” he tweeted after coming off the show.
“Social media is a ruthless, toxic place, so I don’t like to spend much time there,” says Tomlinson, “but because of experiencing such light and shade all while I was famous, I have a very deep connection with my fans. They’ve always been there for me.”
In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?
“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’m very, very excited. I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives. And now it's kind of given me a little bit of time to really get into what I want to say and what I want things to sound like. Because, you know, I was really proud of my first record, but there were moments that I felt were truer to me than others. I think that there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, ‘This is who I want to be’. So I want to take a leaf out of their book.”
Fans might think he’s referring to writing more heartfelt autobiographical content such as Two of Us, but in fact, he’s referring specifically to rock-inspired Kill My Mind, he says, the first song on WALLS. “There’s a certain energy in that song, in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment, so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.”
He sighs, trying to articulate something that’s clearly been playing on his mind for a while. “You know, because of my story, my album was a little heavy at times and a little somber. And as I'm sure you're aware, from talking to me, now, that isn't who I am.”
It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.
“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”
Too many incredible memories to mention but not a day goes by that I don't think about how amazing it was. @NiallOfficial @Harry_Styles @LiamPayne @zaynmalik . So proud of you all individually.
The problem is, says Tomlinson, he doesn’t have the best imagination. “I have interesting things to say musically, but what’s challenging from a writing perspective is that I write from the heart, and I can’t really get into someone else’s story. And right now, being stuck at home, you have so little experience to draw from. It’s actually quite hard to write these positive, uplifting songs, because actually, the experiences that you're going through on a day to day basis, you know, you they don't have that same flavour.”
There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”
Another source of inspiration for his second album is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ back catalogue. “I grew up on their album Bytheway. And during lockdown I've been knee deep in their stuff. I’ve watched every documentary, every video. And I find their lead guitarist John Frusciante just fascinating.”
Has he spoken to Frusicante?
“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.
Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?
“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”
Tomlinson’s passion for all things rock is also spurring on a side hustle he picked up as a judge on the X Factor in 2018: managing an all-female rock band via his own imprint on Simon Cowell’s Syco label. While the group disbanded before releasing their first single, and Tomlinson split from Syco earlier this year, the singer is keen to nurture some more talent.
“I'm not gonna lie, my process with my imprint through Syco, it became challenging and it became frustrating at times,” Tomlinson says a little wearily. “The kind of artists that I was interested in developing – because I genuinely feel through my experience in One Direction, you know, one of the biggest f______ bands, I feel like I've learned a lot about the industry – they weren’t ready-made. So I had lots of artists that I took through the door that were rough and ready, but major labels want to see something that works straight away. I found that a little bit demotivating. I love her and she's an incredible artist, but not everyone is a Taylor Swift.”
Tomlinson spends much of his free time scouting new talent either on YouTube, Reddit or BBC Introducing – he’s currently a huge fan of indie Brighton band, Fickle Friends. His dream is to manage an all-female band playing instruments. “Because there's no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don't do it, someone else will!”
Before he drives off to rehearsals, we chatter about how much he's been practising his guitar playing, and how he can't wait to take the whole team working at his favourite grassroots venue, The Dome in Doncaster, out ice-skating after he performs there on his rescheduled tour. “Because I've got skills,” he says, and I can hear his chest puff.
And then I ask the question every retired member of One Direction has been batting off ever since they broke up in 2015, after Zayn Malik quit. Rumours that his bandmates saw him as a Judas went wild after some eagle eyes fans noticed they’d unfollowed him on Instagram. Payne, Tomlinson, Horan and Styles have barely mentioned him since. Recently, however, they re-followed him, and Payne has teased that a One Direction reunion is on the cards.
So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?
“I thought you were going to ask something juicier!” say Tomlinson witheringly. “Look, I f______ love One Direction. I'm sure we're going to come back together one day, and I'll be doing a couple of One Direction songs in my gig. I always do that, so that's not alluding to any reunion or anything. But, I mean, look, I'm sure one day we'll get back together, because, you know, we were f______ great.”
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