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goldrushenthusiast · 8 months

Note

The Hunger Games characters have some unique names based on many cultures we've lived in today.

What's your favourite character names from THG world? What's their names meaning?

Bonus questions :

If you're a fanfic writer writing about characters who lives in Panem, what's their name gonna be?

If you're a reader, what's a name you read in a THG fanfic that stuck with you?

Thank you, @curiousnonny

Got to be Sejanus. By far who his name is based off of and who is is just…perfect.

Copied straight from the Wikipedia page, the very first paragraph;

“Lucius Aelius Sejanus (c. 20 BC – 18 October AD 31), commonly known as Sejanus (/sɪˈdʒeɪnəs/),[1] was a Roman soldier, friend, and confidant of the Roman Emperor Tiberius. Of the Equites class by birth, Sejanus rose to power as prefect of the Praetorian Guard (the Roman imperial bodyguard), of which he was commander from AD 14 until his execution for treason in AD 31.”

Like ok come on now Suzanne at least make me have something more to interpret!!

What’s interesting about him though is the fact that he is district born, and as we see in Katniss, Gale, Primrose, Madge, Mayfair, Carine (Katniss’ mom), Rue, Delly, and any non career district, district kids typically have fairly normal names or names related to their districts (Reaper the farming name from D11, Coral & Mizzen, sea & ship names from d4). While their names still have something to do with their character, they make more sense with district kids and are less obvious (will explain later).

However, with Sejanus, he was born in district two. His parents were from district two. Strabo even can be related to Strabo’s character but that’s for later.

Sure, it can be argued that district two is a career district, but Katniss & Coriolanus’ accounts together hint that this process took decades to be sure of and to really benefit from. District two would be a bit better off after the first revolution, but not much.

I just find it funny it’s so clear with Sejanus what he was always meant to be.

Strabo’s name is a bit more a stretch, but Strabo was an Ancient Greek geographer. He was mostly known for being, and I quote;

“historian whose Geography is the only extant work covering the whole range of peoples and countries known to both Greeks and Romans during the reign of Augustus (27 BCE–14 CE)”

He specialized in geography. District two is full of mountains (that Ma loves), and he literally moved his whole family. As I said, a bit of a stretch, but still there’s SOMETHING there.

Even the family’s last name, Plinth, means a heavy base supporting a statue or vase. Every part of Sejanus’ name includes some type of support, and it’s so apparent with just one google search. I love it, and we know so much about his character so it’s easier to make these inferences than it will be with the Ring Twins or Remus Dolittle, yet I will. This answer might have to be two parts lol.

Now onto other characters that we know just a bit better: Tigris, Persephone, Iphigenia, Vipsania, Arachne, and saving last for last, Coriolanus.

Firstly; Tigris! Tigris was the easternmost river out of two that defined Mesopotamia, one of (or maybe the) the earliest civilizations/cultures, dating back to 14,000 BC as the time period when people originally started settling. Because I’m not here to give a history lesson I’m not gonna explain the importance of a river to a civilization, but I went through 6th grade geography and suffice to say she was important as hell.

Tigris was believed to have been created by the God Enki, the Sumerian god of knowledge, crafts, and creation among other things. Tigris is continually proven to be resourceful, creative, and gives very much DIY girlie vibes, which sound a lot like Enki.

As I said before, the Mesopotamian region was one of the first civilizations. Many have theorized that mankind as we know it wouldn’t exist without Mesopotamia, and what would Mesopotamia not exist without? Tigris.

Tigris provided opportunities for the Mesopotamian region (Coriolanus) to grow, get stronger, become innovative, and provided for them. If that doesn’t scream Tigris I don’t know what does.

Now, Persephone! My favorite capital names are the ones from Greek mythology (I am a Percy Jackson fan page) or ancient mythology, because it’s less work to find connecting factors. Honestly I had no clue who Sejanus was, I just googled his name, and my mom is a Shakespeare fan which is how I know Coriolanus.

Anywho, for y’all who are normal, Persephone was the daughter of the farming/harvest goddess who was kidnapped by the death god. All versions of this myth agree on that. Some say that it was part of a deal with Zeus that Hades (the death god) knew about, but Demeter (farming/harvest goddess) didn’t. Of course these are definitely a very simple and quick way to describe Hades & Demeter, but it gets my point across.

The funny thing is, we don’t know much about Persephone in canon. I don’t know if Suzanne did this on purpose like she clearly did with Sejanus, but I find it interesting that whenever Persephone Price is brought up, so is cannibalism.

See, Nero Price, Persephone dad and Coriolanus was the main example that Coriolanus used to show how bad things were during the war. Coriolanus and Tigris saw him one snowy evening sawing off the leg of a maid with a large knife, wrapping it in the skirt from her waist, and going on his way. It makes Coriolanus question if he could ever be seen as edible, which is kinda funny to me lowkey, but the whole scene is on page 31-32.

Persephone. She is literally torn between the harvest (farmers food & stuff) and the underworld, the realm of the dead. Part of her myth is she stays there for 3 months and in the realm of the living for the other 9 because she ATE 3,pomegranate seeds. She ate something she wasn’t supposed to. Let me also mention, in different versions of the myth she wanted to leave or didn’t. When Festus and Persephone are getting close, Coriolanus questions if Persephone ever knew what was on her plate.

Now Iphigenia!! If y’all didn’t remember Persephone, I doubt yall will remember Iphigenia, as I only did combing the list of names Coriolanus had for interesting ones and finding her. She’s a very minor character- we don’t know much about her hobbies or likes and dislikes or her personality. But I’ll get to TBOSAS Iphigenia in a second.

I’m sure of y’all at least know the Trojan war. If anyone studied it specifically, you probably know Agamemnon. Here’s the paragraph explaining the story from Wikipedia;

“In the story, Agamemnon offends the goddess Artemis on his way to the Trojan War by hunting and killing one of Artemis' sacred stags. She retaliates by preventing the Greek troops from reaching Troy unless Agamemnon kills his eldest daughter, Iphigenia, at Aulis as a human sacrifice. In some versions, Iphigenia dies at Aulis, and in others, Artemis rescues her.”

You’re probably wondering, “wow, what could such a minor character have to do with that tale?”

When I say we get very little from her, I mean it. I don’t mean we get very little from her in the same way as I do when talking about Festus, or any other classmates. We know she doesn’t know if district 5 girl’s (her tribute’s) name is Sol or Sal (it’s Sol).

There’s one piece of information on her that stands out though. I’m going to paraphrase Coriolanus on page 252 when I say this- “her father oversaw food stuff in Panem, but she always looked almost malnourished. Clemensia had once said it was the only revenge she could take on her father but didn’t give any other details,”

boy oh boy. Because of this one, small little paragraph, Iphigenia has always interested me. When Clemensia doesn’t give any other details, she means it. NO details appear afterwards and Iphigenia is maybe mentioned once ever again. Trust me, I know. Every time I reread TBOSAS I look for different things, which is part of the reason I reread it sm.

We never know why Iphigenia takes revenge. We never know anything about her relationship with her father. There are so many possibilities (abuse, Iphigenia the rebel, etc), and considering her namesake’s issues with her father it’s just crazy the amount of detail Suzanne put into such a minor character.

Next, Vipsania- there’s actually not much I can say about her, I just thought it was a funny coincidence this is what came up when I googled her;

“Vipsania Agrippina (/ˌæɡrəˈpaɪnə, -ˈpiː-/; 36 BC – 20 AD) was the first wife of the Emperor Tiberius.”

Two things- first, recognize what emperor she married? Yep! Tiberius- aka the emperor Sejanus was a friend and confident of. I think Suzanne might’ve gone down a Tiberius rabbit hole, because her last is familiar as well- Professor Agrippina. She was the gym teacher, and Sejanus’ mentor. This little circle of names and relations is just funny to me is all, although there’s not much on VA in history or much to say about Vipsania.

Arachne!!! Gosh I love her. Well, I love how plain the connection is between her character in TBOSAS and her character in mythology. Really she’s pretty disrespectful and a jerk in both lol.

In Greek mythology, Arachne is a woman-turned spider, the first spider. Arachne believed she could win a weaving competition against Athena, goddess of crafts, because of how beautiful her work was and how much everyone complimented her.

Athena, hearing this hubris, disguised herself as an old woman and told Arachne not to boast like that. Arachne then challenged Athena, and told the old woman the only reason Athena hadn’t gone against her herself was she was too scared.

Of course Athena then revealed herself, and they battled. Athena’s weaver thing showed the Greek gods doing good stuff, Arachne’s showed the gods in their most unfavorable aspects. Due to this disrespect, and in some versions because it was better (tho I personally don’t believe that), Athena turned Arachne into a spider so she could weave forever.

The pride?? The taunting until it becomes serious?? The permanent change?? The rage that prompted the act?? Arachne as Arachne is the most perfect name on here, because who else would she be?? Another great one of Suzanne’s names. Genius.

Before we get to the last name, Coriolanus himself, let me point out I have no district people on here. Let this show just how interesting Strabo & Sejanus’ names are.

Finally!! The last one!! Coriolanus.

Coriolanus is actually quite disappointing compared to Sejanus or Arachne, but there’s still something here so I’m going to paste the Wikipedia on Coriolanus, the man Shakespeare based his play after & what happened in the play.

“Coriolanus is the name given to a Roman general after his military feats against the Volscians at Corioli. Following his success he seeks to be consul, but his disdain for the plebeians and the mutual hostility of the tribunes lead to his banishment from Rome. In exile, he presents himself to the Volscians, then leads them against Rome. After he relents and agrees to a peace with Rome, he is killed by his previous Volscian allies”

Now, unlike many of these other characters, Coriolanus’ relationship to his namesake mirrors his relationship to another character (Lucy Gray) more than his personality.

Coriolanus wants to be with Lucy Gray, but eventually due to his hatred of the districts and love of the capital, he ends up turning against her. He starts out wanting to help her, yet his own disgust only ends up hurting him.

Coriolanus is eventually killed by his former allies, what he’s created. That’s what happens in the original hunger games series. When Coin does the faked bomb drop, everyone he worked so hard to make love him turn against him quickly. He revolutionized the capital and they turned against him.

He almost changed his own feelings about district people and it ended up almost taking his life and career.

Help I forgot there was another part to the question 😭. Anywho if I was gonna write some, I’d probably just use random names or if I had a really good and accurate name (or totally opposite name) from mythology or a poem or something I’d use that and make it correspond to the character.

This is embarrassing, but a lot of the names from crimson rivers, a hunger games/marauders au stuck with me! Nothing specific, but anything that wasn’t a marauders character always made me go “huh! I like that!”

In conclusion though, Suzanne is a genius. As I said, I might have to reblog this later with more names if I ever think of any. This is probably my most researched answer, due to all the mythology and Wikipedia searches I had to do, so sorry that it took longer! Usually I just remember things and explain them lol.

Thank you for the question @curiousnonny, and as always, feel free to debate in the comments/reblogs but please don’t argue. I always enjoy answering and dissecting questions, so anyone feel free to ask!

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triflesandparsnips · 1 year

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I'm not seeing enough deep-dive nonsense about the new Good Omens season 2 poster drop on my dash, and by god that means I must be the one to deliver it.

For those who haven't seen it yet, behold:

...there's a lot in here to go a wee bit feral over, if one was so inclined, and lord knows I love an inclination.

The Obvious Stuff

1. There Was Only One Bed Chair

This is the bulk of the commentary I've seen, and tbh, it's pretty great. "I am bored/busy and ignoring you but also what is personal space, never heard of her, we will not be taking questions at this time."

Notably, however, this is the second time we've seen them back to back-- the majority of the poster art we saw for the first season had them side by side. In both cases they're in a position to face some third thing together-- the difference, perhaps, is that side by side might imply equality of situation, while back to back implies implicit trust that the other won't stab you there.

2. The bookshop

Aw, look at them. Look at it. What a glorious little mess. This is them in London. Arizaphale looks pleased with the situation; Crowley looks bored af but he's also squished up on that one dang chair, so there's a "cat sitting next to you because parallel play and mirroring are the Best Interactions" feel to it.

3. Tea and wine

Arizaphale's got a teacup, Crowley's got a wine glass, this is very Them and indicative of their Vibes. Tbh, I think this is just a nice bit of design work, but it's worth calling out.

4. The outside street

The shop across the way is using a Gothic and reads "GIVE ME" before being cut off. No clue what it means, but it probably means something.

5. The tagline

The previous tagline we got was "Something's going down in the Up" (with that grey feather falling between their black and white wings)-- this tagline reads "Everyday it's a-getting closer."

Easiest interpretation is, oho, we're getting closer to the second season, and gosh there will be some Plot in it. And sure, yes, it works for that too, huzzah. But leaving aside the "it" and what that may mean-- "a-getting" is a fascinating word choice. It evokes similar constructions like, say, the somewhat obscure "Sumer is icumen in" (a song about the changing of the seasons and also encouraging a cuckoo to go lay some eggs in other birds nests if u no wat im sayin eyyyyy)-- and the significantly less obscure protest song "The Times They Are A-Changin'", whose ending stanza is:

The line it is drawn

The curse it is cast

The slow one now

Will later be fast

As the present now

Will later be past

The order is rapidly fadin'

And the first one now

Will later be last

For the times they are a-changin'

Gosh.

Now the Real Fun Starts

This poster is a composite image (as so many ads are), composed of different bits and pieces to form a whole impression -- based on fun stuff like relative pixelation and whatnot, you can often tell what portions of an image were there to start with, and what were specifically added in after the fact. How packed this poster is in tiny details -- which is exactly where I would hide fun hints to things -- is generally a cue for me to take a closer look, and I have been, I think, rewarded.

1. The books with legible titles

Zoom in on Aziraphale's book-- he's reading Charles Dickens's A Tale of Two Cities. The "two cities" in play are Paris and London, and the book is set before and during the French Revolution.

It's the story of a man who had been previously imprisoned in the Bastille for 18 years, and then was released to go live with his daughter -- who he has never met, what with the whole "imprisoned" thing -- in London.

The opening paragraph is:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

The pile of books in the foreground have two visible titles: the topmost one is Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice (a "novel of manners" that's considered a heavy-hitting romantic classic, and also yes the leads are both prideful and prejudiced and it takes an entire book for them to clear that up) and Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island (a young adult coming-of-age adventure story about a kid who finds himself on an adventure with a bunch of pirates to discover buried treasure).

Of note: A Tale of Two Cities, Pride and Prejudice, and Treasure Island also all have note tabs sticking out of them, and are the only books that have them. This is reminiscent of how Arizaphale studied and referenced Agnes Nutter's prophecies.

Some of the books beneath the window technically have titles, but they appear to be about as pixelated as the rest of that section, and so I suspect they're just part of the scenery.

Similarly, most of the books on the background shelves are like that as well, except:

Joseph Heller's Catch-22 (A satirical novel set in World War II; Wikipedia briefly explains that "the novel examines the absurdity of war and military life through the experiences of Yossarian and his cohorts, who attempt to maintain their sanity while fulfilling their service requirements so that they may return home." The book also coined the phrase "catch-22," which is a situation someone can't escape because of paradoxical rules-- in the case of the book, you can't ask to be evaluated for insanity so that you can be exempt from flying dangerous missions, because "anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.")

Iain Banks's The Crow Road (and a first edition, perhaps? I haven't read it, but apparently it's a Scottish family drama about a perfect murder against the backdrop of the 1990s Gulf War. Its opening line is "It was the day my grandmother exploded." The phrase "the crow road" is a euphemism, in the book, for death.)

Joseph Conrad's Lord Jim (Sparknotes says it's "the story of a man named Marlow's struggle to tell and to understand the life story of a man named Jim" -- a young man who goes to sea, makes a terrible and cowardly decision while following his leaders, and then spends the rest of his life haunted by it.)

There's at least one extra, partially obscured title:

It appears to read "THE BODY ------ and ------", which makes me wonder if it's an anthology of murder mystery short stories.

Leaving aside the uncertain book, commonalities between many of these books include:

soldiers, war, and the horrors/absurdities thereof

doubles and parallels

death and murder

a young/inexperienced protagonist thrown in with more experienced/weirder folk

fragmented and out of order narratives, sometimes having to be pieced together from multiple viewpoints

...pirates

2. The strange but noticeable inserts

There are several images that have been inserted into the poster that -- unlike the teacup and wine glass mentioned above -- don't seem to make a lot of contextual sense and are therefore, perhaps, extra information. These include:

a. the three lizard boys

b. the broken smartphone

c. the matchbox with the quote on the side

d. the camera

e. this statuette that seems suspicious

f. this record and scroll that seem out of place

g. the clockface with the missing hand (which may be just for the Aesthetic, but whatever, I'm including it)

What do they mean? No clue. I suspect it will become apparent as we get trailers and/or the actual show.

In Conclusion

Uh.

Look. Design teams can do all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons. All of this could mean absolutely nothing.

But.

Using my magical powers of bullshit deduction, I might look at all this, and that grey feather falling from the earlier poster, and say... well... the war's still ongoing, yeah? So maybe... maybe there needs to be a new angel keeping an eye on things on Earth. Or an eye specifically on Aziraphale and Crowley.

And that would look SUSPICIOUS, right? So this is an angel who's maybe... a little bit Fallen. For the sake of the Mission. Like, they've agreed to sin just a lil bit, just enough to justify being thrown out of Heaven, and they're not actively in Hell because they're, oh, just stopping off, or maybe just going really slowly, or maybe they were sent back up from Hell because they were still "too good" and all that Pureness of Spirit was stinking up the place--

Whatever. Point is, they're on Earth, they're very confused, it sure would be nice if these very Established metaphysical elders could give them a few hints about how to get on. We'd then get to enjoy a Guide to Living a Totally Normal Human Life given by these two disaster dorks, plus whatever nonsense is derived from, idk, various extraneous plot shenanigans, probably involving a Murder and maybe a MacGuffin Maltese Falcon.

And most importantly: this new angel? Wow no they couldn't possibly be a spy because again WOW, what kind of angel would deliberately Fall? Wouldn't that require doing the wrong thing to do a right thing? ...okay maybe, but can it really be wrong if it was done by command? ...well, wait, it surely must be wrong because otherwise the mechanism wouldn't have worked-- but then, wait, which thing was the wrong thing--

And Aziraphale and Crowley would watch this bouncing volley of cognitive dissonance with great interest, also possibly while holding hands.

#good omens #season 2 #good omens season 2 rampant speculation

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tintagel-or-cockleshells · 7 months

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20 Qs for ficcers

I have been tagged by a smorgasbord of wonderful people - @celaestis1, @cha-melodius, @kiwiana-writes and @welcometololaland. One of them even sent me flowers (thanks @clottedcreamfudge, you are a constant delight).

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

101,280 - not too shabby, I like that it's a round number.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Red, White & Royal Blue, The Thrilling Adventure Hour, Tamora Pierce, *cough* Angels Unlimited...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Just Like a Dealer (which I am HESITANT about including because, once again, I only wrote the first paragraph)

Henry Fox: All-American Hero

Red, White and Royal Ballet

Alien Magic

Stringbean

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No! I very rarely respond to comments. Right now, it's because I don't have time, but it's also because every comment will be 'aaaah thank you <3' and that feels like artificially inflating my comment count sometimes. Having said that, if people have questions, I tend to answer them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It was gonna be Ghosted before @clottedcreamfudge talked me out of it. Maybe When a Dancer Dies, because the 'happy ending' is massively open to interpretation.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Either Henry Fox: All-American Hero or Red, White and Royal Ballet. I mean, I'm writing for a novel with a strong romantic element - it's unusual NOT to write happy endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet, but hey! I probably will! And when that happens I will specifically write them into my next fics and make them suffer horrible fates!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written explicit stuff before, but not yet for RWRB. However, @dumbpeachjuice left a comment on All-American Hero that has me considering an expansion/missing scene in that world.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The only crossover I have is Alien Magic, which is two worlds by the same author, Tamora Pierce, and me crossing over characters from one into the universe of the other, but they're aware that the other world exists, it's just on the other side of the globe from them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have, I don't know about it! Doubtful, though.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I did receive my first comment in Spanish yesterday which made me very happy.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

YES and I have also co-written a book with my BFF.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Fun fact: my fiance and I almost had 'fictional couples' as the theme for our wedding tables but abandoned it because two bridesmaids (u know who u are) would have wanted to sit at different tables.

Top three: Frank and Sadie Doyle, Mel Beeby and Brice de Winter (thoroughly not canon) and, of course, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor and Alex Claremont-Diaz.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Henry as a contestant on a pottery show, Alex as the kiln assistant who became a much bigger part in season 2 and has a lot to say.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Punctuality. Does that count? Errr, okay, I can write a banger of a sentence now and then and I'm good at description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Em-dashes, and trying to be funny. The funniness comes in when I'm not trying too hard.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's difficult and I haven't done it yet! I'm learning Swedish (445 days in a row so far) and what gets me is sentence structure. Sometimes it's structured like English, sometimes it's structured like Early Modern English, sometimes the structure is specifically foreign and I fuck it up. However, I really liked what Junot Diaz did in Oscar Wao, which is not italicising words in other languages because that's not how the character thinks.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The very very very first fanfic published somewhere was LoTR. It was about the Entwives and it was dull.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ghosted. Or Cold Cases, Lost Causes. Sometimes you want to chew on some PLOT, and Ghosted deals with death, and Cold Cases deals with the ethics of podcasts covering true crime. I can't wait to release the last 3 chapters because I'm proud of how I've ended it!

Tagging -- ah shit, it seems that everyone has been tagged. Okay, if you want to do this, do it and say I tagged you. I love you all!

#i am gonna lie down now #THANK YOU FOR TAGS #josefin

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vintage-bentley · 2 months

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Honestly i read that out of context quote (haven’t read the book but enough of the paragraph has been flowing around) of “angels are sexless unless they make an effort” as in “lacking sexuality unless they make an effort” (as wasn’t it the explanation that Aziraphale being gay was not necessary true) and then effort in the way that… Angels don’t dance but Aziraphale made an effort to learn it. Or they aren’t hungry or need to eat or sleep or drink wine by default or need as humans do they lack all the things that made those things A Need, unless they put effort in it as eating and getting drunk and sleeping does bring unique pleasure too it.

So i read that quote as “yeah they have no sexuality unless they make an effort” which again is what the show and especially Aziraphale is all about. Angels by default and by nature don’t need sexual desire and have a “sexless” existence just as they don’t need food or sleep, but these specific angels have gone native and put an effort in doing useless human things as it does bring them joy.

Yeah, the full context is that it's explaining why Aziraphale isn't gay like he's perceived to be. Which as l've discussed before, is problematic despite how much the fandom loves it.

Because essentially what it means, is that two straight authors created a character who appears gay so that straight audiences can laugh at him... but refused to actually let him be gay to soften the blow for LGB people. The full quote is:

"Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. […] angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort.”

I forgot that "effort" wasn't even capitalised like the fandom does all of the time! Given GO’s tendency to capitalise things that are Important, I think that they’d have written it as Effort if it was as significant as the fandom claims it is. It being written as “effort” makes it seem like it really is just making an effort like one makes an effort to go somewhere, or do something, etc.

I checked my physical copy to see if it’s written like that there too, and it is.

So I agree with you on the interpretation of this line. It makes sense to me that "making an effort" is literally just making an effort. I can see it being about either sex or sexuality; making an effort to have a sex would just be having a sexed body, so the “making an effort" would just be getting a human body. And making an effort to have a sexuality would just be opening oneself up to the idea that an angel can enjoy sex and romance, like Aziraphale opened up to the idea that an angel can enjoy eating, or drinking, or dancing, etc.

That of course opens up the risk for it being interpreting angels as choosing their sexuality...but I think it would just be like rolling dice. A and C make the effort to try the whole intercourse thing out, and they find themselves only wanting to try it with men.

And for those that say "but they're celestials, they can't work the same way as humans do! They can't have a limiting sexuality!": 1. The whole point of the story is that angels and demons are more similar to humans than they like to think, and 2. Homosexuality is not "limiting" in the sense that we're missing out on or preventing ourselves from enjoying something. There’s no reason that every single non-human character should be bisexual, and there’s no reason that gay people should never be allowed to see ourselves in non-human characters because you think they’re above us.

#asks #anon

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vinhteer · 11 months

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Some rambling about itsfunneh's YHS and Kyran's and Alec's friendship

Just finished watching the 1st season of YHS!

It's.... KIND OF A MESS? Once again the plot is everywhere and they're not very good at pacing.

Slightly unrelated to the plot; what bothered me the most was the outdated gender roles being pushed on every time.

--"You punch like a girl." (not the extra misogynistic flavour in this quote) "I'm going to roast marshmallows.. LIKE A MAN!"

There's also another episode where they're looking to buy a present for senpai and Kyran said that Gold shouldn't buy perfume for the former because HE'S NOT HER BOYFRIEND?? ANYWAYS This was 7 years ago and I'm not saying you should harass or cancel the krew for this or whatever (it's extremely pointless and it won't go anywhere). I'm just criticising it because this type of generalisation leads to stereotypes. AND THEN these stereotypes both dictate the way you behave because you're scared that people will put you down and brush you off.

ANYWAYS, I didn't mean to make a long ass paragraph about this but here we are.

Pushing aside the ordeal abt the writing pushing these gender roles, there's a paradox about that and the relationship between Kyran and Alec. It's kind of funny because there are some elements in their dynamic that could become a good conflict between them and it could also say a lot of things about how society works and how words have a lot of power.

- Kyran is your shy reserved weeaboo who's often played as the comedic relief because of his tendencies to just suck at physical activities (me asf)

- Alec is the shady hardworking stereotypical bad boy. He's a murderer's henchman solely because he needs money to support his family.

There is a lot of potential to talk about what boys (and equally girls) have to endure in society and how it can be dealt with.

HEADCANON STUFF HERR!! But if you tweak some stuff, Kyran has the archetype of the guy labelled as "too feminine" because he's not athletic and actually voices out his emotions. But evidently he doesn't want to be seen as feminine because it has negative connotations; when he says "I'm going to roast marshmallows.. LIKE A MAN!" it LITERALLY sounds like he has a fragile masculinity because... society. And I'm not blaming it at all haha... I feel like we've all experienced a slice of this.

Conversely, there's Alec who actually fits into the masc category; he's effortlessly athletic and doesn't feel... much I guess. He doesn't really voice out his emotions like AT ALL but he is put down often because he's kind of seen as a delinquent by most people.

So there's this whole thing between the fear of being called feminine as a masculine individual and being feared by most people simply because of the way you dress/act.

I think that's already a really strong foundation for what will ensue next.

So in season 2 we get to know how they first met in kindergarten.

Kyran was getting bullied by some random dude. But Alec just beats the crap out of that person (which he refers alec as the "MEAN BOY", once again supporting my stuff with Alec being seen as a bad person. But thats just my interpretation of it, like there are so many and tbh u would call anyone mean for punching you if you rhink youre right ig). To me it just kind of makes their friendship a little more complex!

1. it shows that Alec genuinely doesn't give a fuck about who Kyran is as a person because regardless of who he is, that kid was doing something wrong. Alec is a decent person for standing up for someone who couldn't do anything against what was happening at the moment. I know they were like 5 but it shows that in nature Alec instinctively does things for what he believes is right (and it's not the only example of Alec doing something nice).

2. To me it says a lot about how children just don't care about who they're playing with based on physical attributes or whatever UNTIL society makes them learn that it DOES matter.

And these facts are so bittersweet to me because in the camping episode of season 1, they just voice out each other's insecurities. It's not even funny anymore LMAO.

"you're a delinquent!" + Alec poking "fun" at Kyran for being childish/not-a-man-TM, but you could interpret him as just asking these questions out of curiosity. He's actually less confrontational than Kyran in the episode.

Despite knowing that they used to look out for each other and accepted each others' QUOTE AND QUOTE """""" flaws""", whatever outbreak happened between these two must have caused a huge impact on each other's perception of each other. An impact that made them internally say "people must've been right. Alec IS a bad person after all. Kyran IS too emotional."

There's another layer of salt to the wounds because deep down Alec probably also agrees with Kyran for being a delinquent because he's Yandere's henchman.

Some suggestions that could've made this story a bit more engaging and interesting, at least for me:

- making alec hate horror + gore would make more sense to me because his side job is to literally cover up someone's death and all of that.

- we get 0 reasons as to why Alec likes Funneh. I feel like they could've played on the fact that Alec didn't make any friends after Kyran and has always been viewed as the bad guy. But then Funneh just doesn't care about that prejudice and hangs out with him anyway?

- the 2 plots (funneh's life + yandere's killing spree) should've been a bit more intertwined. Murder cases in high school aren't peanuts. I feel like it could've been fun seeing Kyran dragging Gold and Funneh into this whole detective thing meanwhile Alec is reluctantly coming with them and having some inner conflicts. Actually, they should've fleshed out their reasons as to why they're doing this whole detective thing in the first place. There needs to be a huge drawing force as to why, yk? Maybe drawing some inspiration to Heathers and Be More Chill could've been fun too!

- Despite them being in America, I feel like we should've seen more people of colour? Like african descent americans. Their thing literally takes place in THE USA yet most of them are like... white or asian or mixed

#why is this so long #1k words #why #anyways #itsfunneh yhs #yhs #yandere high school #itsfunneh yandere high school #rambling

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sonickedtrowel · 1 year

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last 10 fics

rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

Tagged by @goldheartedchaoticdisaster, thank you! And I’m just gonna let you know right now that I take a notoriously liberal interpretation of “first lines” because I can’t live without context. Lines, paragraphs... who are we to say, really, what is a line?

1. the sun isn't only sinking fast, every night knows how long it's supposed to last

Mendorax Dellora

(human colony)

Christmas Day

5343

Having a person erased from your memory, it turned out, was extremely unpleasant. The Doctor’s head was a mess, even by his own generous standards, and every miserable effect was closely chased by the more-miserable thought that he deserved it, for having done it before. For Donna. For having been ready, still, to do it again.

2. though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run

“I've been sending out a message. A distress call. Outside the bubble of our time, the universe is still turning, and I've sent a message everywhere. To the future and the past, the beginning and the end of everything. ‘The Doctor is dying. Please, please help.’”

For just a moment, his eyebrows lifted and the corner of his mouth turned up. It was a shame, really, that she couldn’t enjoy him being impressed with her. A second later his eyes screwed shut as he seemed to physically shake himself out of it.

3. can’t help pollen in love

“Artemisia?” the Doctor read aloud, flicking through the very pink, glossy leaflet River had presented him with. “Why do I know that name?”

“I can’t imagine you’ve been,” River replied as she circled the console and fired up the controls. “Of course, if I’m wrong, I’ll need details.”

“Gentileschi!” he cried, snapping his fingers in revelation. “Brilliant painter. I should introduce you, you’d definitely get on.”

“Delightful as that sounds, I think you’d prefer we make this trip without the extra company. Of course, if I’m wrong…”

4. I don’t wanna run, just overwhelm me

Looking back, it was hard for the Doctor to say exactly when he’d stopped running. The grief and resentment he’d been nursing since their first meeting had given way, little by little, to a terrifying thrill in the pit of his stomach. It was that magnetic pull; the undeniable certainty that he was colliding with his future each time he crossed paths with River Song.

Adrenaline spiked through his veins at the first syllable from her lips, her warm voice so smugly suggestive he suspected she wasn’t buying his feigned ignorance one bit. She was utterly infuriating. Infuriating, and brilliant and mad and funny and brave and kind, and she knew everything he’d ever been and had seen everything he would become.

5. there is a love I reminisce

Being called upon by UNIT to clear up some extra-temporal alien mess or another wasn’t completely out of the ordinary for River. Jack wasn’t always easy to get in touch with, and the Doctor, for all his many wonderful qualities, was not what anyone would call reliable. And while UNIT did (in an extremely top-secret capacity of which no one, including their own tactical assets, was meant to be any the wiser) possess means of time travel, River was fairly certain she’d “accidentally” left their vortex manipulator knackered enough after the last time she’d borrowed it as to have rendered it basically useless. To them, anyway. She could always fix it up if she needed a spare.

So when the odd request from Kate arrived, if it really sounded like something they couldn’t handle on their own, she usually popped by to lend a helping hand (or staser, or what-have-you.) This time, the message simply read:

Come and fetch your husband.

6. someday you’ll call my name

“I’m sure I’ve got an umbrella somewhere,” the Doctor called over his shoulder as he opened the TARDIS door. In contrast to the blinding sunlight of the beach, the dim console room was a haze of greenish obscurity.

“I’m sure you have,” Liv shouted after him, “just don’t get lost looking for it!”

“I don’t get lost in my own TARDIS!” he shot back, just as the door swung shut, leaving him in darkness. “I… get distracted.”

He navigated past the console mostly by memory, making a mental note to add sunglasses to the requisition list as he went, and only briefly snagged his foot on a rug. He’d steadied himself against the opening of the corridor and was just beginning to regain some of his vision when the ringing of the telephone cut through the quiet control room.

7. then hold my memory

The plan had been dancing lessons; that’s all. A swanky party with some of Hollywood’s lesser elite, where she’d cast a long shadow in the room, but wouldn’t chance running into any of Rita’s closer acquaintances. She’d charm him into a dance or two— it was only the rumba. What would be the harm? But she couldn’t risk anything more with the psychic wimple in place. If he saw through it, what then? There was something about the thought of wiping this one’s memories that made her hearts twist in her chest. He’d had enough of that already without her help.

But then they’d staggered away from the dance floor, giddy and grinning, and he placed a gentle hand on her back as he fell into step beside her. His blue eyes were bright when she stole a glance his way and found him already watching her. The breathless delight on his face was just too much to resist.

Oh, to hell with it.

8. the Furies my one abandoned WIP, so I like to forget this exists!! ugh!! the shame!!!!

The Doctor let out a heavy breath, slumping back against the outer wall of Clara’s block. His coat snagged on the concrete, the gritty surface digging painfully into his fingertips as he mindlessly reached for some tactile distraction. Clara was safe in her flat, with a pile of biscuits and a cup of tea that would surely be cold when she woke waiting on her bedside table. It was, quite literally, the very least he could do for the girl who’d just rescued him by leaping into his timestream and scattering echoes of herself across infinity. She deserved better, but for now, she’d be fine in the morning.

He dragged a shaking hand across his face as another wave of grief crashed over him without warning, crushing the air from his lungs. He’d struggled for so long to get above water, but then he saw her, he spoke to her, he held her and kissed her and told her goodbye and now he was drowning, drowning, drowning.

9. a first time for everything kids we’re travelling dangerously far back in time now I fear we’re entering the suburbs of cringetown

The Doctor scowled down at the console. He’d dropped Amy and Rory back to their wedding night, promising them no further attempts at a honeymoon outing. Honestly, he didn’t know what they were making such a fuss about. He’d been in loads of spaceship crashes; even died in one. Ships that didn’t hit the ground didn’t even rate on the list.

Well, so much for having company to distract him. The party was still going, though! Back here on the night of the 26th of June, when the universe was brand new again… He could just pop back in right after they’d left. Right after…

“No, but was that yes, or yes?”

“Yes.”

10. The Second Date

River’s senses prickled the moment she turned the key in the lock. Her very first day moving in, and already they’d sent someone after her? She didn’t exactly know to expect them; the memories were all a blur, really. But she’d been trained to kill the Doctor, and, well, she had done, but rather more briefly than she supposed her former keepers had intended. She was certain they’d be coming round at some point to rectify the situation.

Good. She’d get a good look at them, finally, and they’d get the last look of their lives.

In one fluid motion, she threw open the door, dropped the little box of her belongings to the floor and levelled her gun into the room.

“River!” the Doctor cheered. She froze.

PHEW not even gonna guess how much broken formatting or links made it in there but I did my best. Tagging!!!! @xhellnhighheelsx @regalpotato @mnemosyne-musing @artemisery (YES YOU!!!) @diaryofriversong @mygalfriday (I know you haven’t been around Pam but WE MISS YOU!) and literally if you’re reading this and you write fic i am tagging you i just cant remember more usernames i have pneumonia. lol i’m gonna go lie down for 800 years. or for one standard earth night until the crack of 7am, as it happens in reality.

#fic #the doctor/river song #river song #what is anything #idek #thank you for the tag though!

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fedtothenight · 2 years

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for future reference since I got blocked — in italics mine

My favourite part is where you said ‘you can raise two points at the same time and this white author’s plain arrogance, lack of media training, and mediocre quality being pushed with a six figure deal sits next to the wider issue of the industry expecting bipoc authors making ten times more efforts and then still ignoring their voices and their stories’ because… those are both points I was making. Like, that is the entire premise of my above post. That’s why I said ‘the main issue is’, implying that it’s the larger issue among many, and not ‘the real issue is’, which would have implied that it was the only issue. So why have you spend four paragraphs out of six in that reply of yours finding ways to justify this author? I’ll tell you why — because there’s no debate on the publishing industry being fucked, while we hold diametrically different ideas on what is excusable when writing something. And I was utterly mystified at those points of contention you raised.

So essentially you just decided that my overall point was ‘her retelling is great and amazing uwu!’ rather than ‘her publishing deal is based on privilege and not merit, and is symptomatic of the problem in publishing. This particular book is not the problem itself, and focusing on just making fun of this particular book for not engaging with the Odyssey as a source text is pointless because it should be a gateway into a larger discussion about why the fuck this book was published over all the others.’ I’m not defending the author; I’m saying that she is a symptom of the problem, and not the problem itself. I’m not saying that she’s immune to criticism; you might note the first paragraph of my above comment, where I acknowledged that her comments are hilarious and weird, especially the obvious ignorance about the genre she’s writing in and her fellow authors. I’m saying that the criticism shouldn’t stop at her, or at this book. This book is the symptom of the problem, and what’s really funny to me is this: this author could have gotten away with the lack of interest and research and yet decided, with absolute arrogance, to announce to the world she just hadn’t bothered. This author is not a symptom. This author is an example with agency.

When I write that Greek myth is fluid and open to interpretation, I am not saying that all interpretations of it are inherently good. Her book might genuinely suck! I have no idea, and neither do you! It’s not out yet! Maybe it’s just 60k of absolute shit. Maybe it’s a work of stellar beauty which will change lives and raze nations. Who knows! My point is that Greek myth is part of a broader cultural context, and although we often think of it as being a series of canonical texts which one must engage with to Unlock Unlimited Access to the truths about the ancient myths, the texts we have today are just the old extant remnants of a huge oral tradition encompassing multiple canons, sources and reimaginings, and that reading the existing source material is not the be-all and end-all; it doesn’t mean that your work will inherently be GREAT because you read the Odyssey, and it doesn’t mean that it’ll be shit if you didn’t, especially as her work isn’t a retelling of it but is inspired by two characters in it. You wrote that “new interpretations of it are juicy and fine and valid” and I said sure! But probably not this one given the lack of research and interest. Would you bet on it? Personally not. Pass. Very happy to read it and confirm my opinion once it’s out though.

She isn’t the first author to not read the source material and she won’t be the last, so it’s weird to me that she’s getting more flack than everyone else, and it’s weird to me that people are focusing on that element rather than the fact that she was so clearly being set up as publishing’s new myth darling despite not having even 1% of the credentials that many more marginalised people querying similar works unsuccessfully have. Again, it truly is interesting how you’re painting this author as having no agency when the interview is about how she decided to go about things. Was she also set up? Was she also left go her own devices when facing the media? Yes. But there’s agency.

When your whole point takes mine in bad faith (I’m not an ‘anglo’ but thank you for that assumption, it really does show the position you’re arguing from I’m sorry if you’re not an Anglo! Would white native English speaker who does not have to prove they know the language they study and work in suffice in this instance? and with such poor reading comprehension I’m soand lack of awareness of Classical Reception Did you like, read my objections? Non of my objections touched upon the wider issue within the publishing industry which we AGREE ON. I was yet again mystified at how much… slack was being cut about something that really shouldn’t be an argument. Engage with your source material and do your research when writing something for publication. I don’t think anyone is saying that this author is the only problem, but again and again here people — you or these goodreads people — explaining how and why this author just didn’t do the bare minimum. It shouldn’t be an argument. Point on contentions shouldn’t exist. On classical reception — I don’t see how that’s a point in her favour at all. Shouldn’t it make it easier to engage with source material, since it’s so widely known in Western culture, instead of being lazy?

that I genuinely find it quite funny that part of your argument is about how poorly she engaged with the source text, all I can say to you is:

image

#wtf i mean i feel like you should read things before replying to them in general but especially when you're getting embroiled in discourse about someone not reading something

But I thought you could offer points of contention to me not reading your sc[gunshot].

#odyssey discourse #last post!#lack of reading comprehension #... no my stranger #my bar is simply higher than yours #anyway my joke on not reading the screenshots went over a head for sure #user teashoesandhair

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laureleikirsch · 2 years

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Cards Against Humanity Tarot Readings

Hello heathens!

The intense, soul-crushing boredom of working in manufacturing led me to the idea of doing tarot readings with the Cards Against Humanity base deck, so... let's fuckin go!

Base Guidelines:

Submit a question! This can be through asks (anon is A-OK), direct messages (anon can be requested), or comments/reblogs.

Tell me how many cards you'd like me to "read"! Each black + white card pairing counts as 1 card. Right now, I'll only do 1-4 cards.

I don't know how much (or if) I'll interpret these. They might not need interpretation, or you might get paragraphs.

I reserve the right to decline requests or re-draw cards if the individual cards or pairings are too awful. It's CAH, so there's bound to be some... interesting? answers, but I still have limits.

Tips are welcome but entirely optional! That said, I might put tips towards expansions for fresh requests if this takes off.

New Tip Incentive: Still totally optional, but if I get $10 in tips I will literally Tumblr Blaze this hot mess and get it sent to random people. Try me.

Sample readings and additional rules/guidelines I've set for myself will be below the cut~

Sample Readings:

What should I have for breakfast? (test draw)

Image depicting Cards Against Humanity cards on a heavily-stickered background. The black card reads, "What's that sound?" and the white card placed on top reads, "Dick fingers."

...in which the Cards tell me to suck a dick for breakfast.

2. What is the dark side of my personality? (submitted anonymously)

Image depicting three sets of Cards Against Humanity cards on a heavily-stickered background. The first card combination, representing the Maiden, features a black card reading, "I get by with a little help from ___" and a white card reading, "Darth Vader." The second card combo, representing the Mother, shows a black card reading, "What's that sound?" and a white card reading, "Announcing that I am about to cum." The final card combo, representing the Crone, includes a black card reading, "What's Teach For America using to inspire inner city kids to succeed?" and a white card reading, "Not wearing pants."

The Maiden: In your current state, your dark side comes from thriving on sympathizing with / taking inspiration from pop culture villains. Whether it's the edgy bad boy everyone wants to save or the badass queen you wish to emulate, it's your Villain Era and you're going to make the most of it.

The Mother: Society tends to look down upon letting your freak flag fly... but once you reach the Mother phase of your life, your dark side won't let you succumb to Society's rules. You will actively embrace hedonism and reach fulfillment through it.

The Crone: When you enter your Crone phase, your dark side will fully abandon traditional societal propriety in order to achieve your goals... many or all of which will center around the betterment of your fellow humans. The end will justify the means, but you might offend some curmudgeons along the way.

Additional Rules/Guidelines (for me):

I mentioned above that I may re-draw if the cards are a little too much. This includes permanently removing individual cards from the deck if they, by themselves, are an Issue. I don't know every card in the base set, nor am I going to sit down and thumb through all of them... if the cards deal me something revolting, though, they'll be sent to the shadow realm.

I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure I don't publish pairings that're revolting, but sometimes I'm clueless and/or not processing at full power. Please feel free to send me feedback if something I publish shouldn't have slipped by!

I'll be following the tarot practice of using cards that "jump out" of the deck... however, this happens a lot because I suck at shuffling, so if too many cards "jump out," I'll have my wife, dog, or cat choose which to use. If you have a preference, please let me know!

If you have specific triggers or aversions, let me know and I'll screen against those as best as I can.

I currently have the 1-4 "card" limit, but if you want to pitch something different, go for it! I'm always up for considering more silly ideas. (I also have access to a fair amount of Magic the Gathering cards and online directories for them that allow random card draws, as well as various dice and coins...)

UHHHH I think that's it? I'll probably add any updates through reblogs since all of this is under a cut.

#cards against humanity #tarot #tarot reading #tarot reader #divination #cah #pagan #ref #mine #free #tips

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snoozefiesta · 2 years

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So, I read the Spanish article about Pato that ESPN wrote and I thought to myself, wow this guy really makes me feel some kind of way. And then I went…shouldn’t I share this to everyone that he makes them feel some kind of way too. So here I am bringing sadness to you all. T/N at the end of the post, enjoy !

The Mexican driver Pato O’ward sees the possibility of going to Formula 1 as a dream, one that is very distant, because he knows that seats are scarce.

“There’s no use in me having that illusion”, said O’ward in an exclusive interview with ESPN. “Until now I feel like I’ve matured in the aspect that that dream, is a very distant dream, because even thought I am driving on a very, very high level, that I’ve been doing that, not even with that you can convince them. It’s a lot of other things and politics, much more things that are beyond my control, that I will never be able to control and well I have to leave it at that, because it’s no use in believing an illusion”.

On August 2, a day after Fernando Alonso announced he will leave Alpine to join Aston Martin, the French team posted on social media sites that their driver for 2023 will be Oscar Piastri, but the Australian denied the statement.

This shook the world of motorsports, and soon it was found out that Piastri could possibly have a deal with McLaren. Naturally as a consequence, Colton Herta, Alex Palou, Pato O’Ward would see their chances reduced.

Pato O’ward knows that he, indirectly, is affected by everything and on Twitter he published an emoji of popcorn as a reaction to Piastri-gate.

“The truth is that a lot of things changed and changed and more changed and now here and now there…it came to the point, how does stressing myself help?”

“The truth is, that since the beginning of the year I put a stop on those thoughts, because those ideas bring you illusions, for that reason everyone wants to leave what they have, for that dream. But I am a ready man, I am not stupid and I know how things have been unraveling, but I don’t have much to say about this situation and it doesn’t help at all having that illusion and I love Indycar, I want it to grow, that it’ll go to Mexico, that it goes global, I want to help it grow all because it has the potential”, he added.

But that does not mean that he does not think of taking advantage if McLaren offers him to participate in a Free Practice of a GP, in fact it would be the only thing that interests him, not private tests, for him the most important thing is IndyCar, nothing else.

“Right now he (Zak) can’t introduce me to a seat for Formula 1, because he doesn’t have a seat, those seats are gone”, said O’ward. “Yes, (Zak did talk to him about a contract for F1) but how the season is going right now I did not want to involve myself in that ‘let me finish here (IndyCar)’. Either way I can’t leave, he has me in his IndyCar team, it’s not like I can go ‘bye I am leaving now’, I am signed with his IndyCar team and if he wants to put me in a Formula 1 car, he can put me in a Formula 1 car.

For me, what would be convenient, because that seat is gone, for me the only thing that is convenient to me is them giving me FP1s, it’s the only thing that would be convenient for me, to get on there and go round with the car is not convenient to me at all and the truth is that putting energy and effort just to go round doesn’t interest me”.

Pato said that right now his mind is in IndyCar and that if one day something were to come from F1, it will come and in that moment he will invest his energy in it, but he recognizes that if there was a chance to do an FP1 in a GP he would love for it to be Mexico as his first option, then Austin.

T/N : I wouldn’t say this is exactly a translation more so than an interpretation mostly because I did take some liberty in changing some words in the sense that this mfr says illusions so many times. So, I just interchanged dreams and illusions where it made sense. As well as altered the popcorn paragraph to exclude the Spanish way of saying popcorn considering how redundant it looked. Overall I tried my best to be as accurate as I could get, so sorry for any errors. And of course, here’s the source : https://espndeportes.espn.com/deporte-motor/nota/_/id/10756921/pato-oward-f1-mclaren-asiento

#i enjoyed reading the article #fun putting my spanish to the test #but not so fun reading about my fave who basically lost hope in getting an f1 seat any time soon haha #pain pain pain #pato o’ward #po5 #indycar #my translations

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phoenixfangs · 1 year

Note

>:3c fandom askies for aa, depending on your Mood

Salty: 1, 8, 10, 25

Neutral: 16

Posi: 17, 18

JAJAJAJAJAJAJA pepper coming in clutch as always, and u KNOW im gonna do all of them, mood be damned. going under a readmore because i rambled!!

the character everyone gets wrong

maybe its a boring answer but phoenix. good god do people just Not understand him. i think the fact weve seen him in so many forms (feenie, trilogy, 7yg, aa5/6) makes it hard for people to get a pin on him, but thats the thing: u cant really get a pin on someone like that. too often i see stuff where, well into his thirties and having gotten his badge back, people portray him as just as outwardly emotional (and sometimes emotionally volatile...) as he was when he was dating dahlia, and Thats Simply Not The Case, especially after how guarded and jaded he became during aa4. hes SUCH a complicated character i cant even go into specifics and try to give other examples, because they each require paragraphs of their own explaining context and nuance in what goes through his head. i dont know how else to go on, just know that i am the only person who is correct about phoenix wright, and if anyone requires consultations for fic or art, my fee is steep but fair

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

all of them. no im kidding, uhhhhh hm. i guess that klavier and apollo Immediately knew they liked each other/were attracted to each other and spent any time pining for the others affection during aa4. i like klapollo as a ship, i just dont think klav teasing apollo with flirtation when they first meet means he was Seriously Flirting with apollo, i think its possible there was a base physical attraction but he was mostly just trying to get apollos goat for fun since he was a rookie attorney. and because of that, what reason does apollo have to be drawn to klavier? apollo isnt some stock tsundere, i think he probably was really annoyed by klavier and Didnt Like Him All That Much at first. plus, with aa4s story being what it is, i just dont think any romantic feelings are on either of their minds until well after the last case. with their ship, i like to imagine they start as professional adversaries (not rivals in the sense phoenix and miles are rivals, its a different vibe), then become friends, THEN graduate to exploring other feelings

10. worst part of fanon

all of it. no im kidding, the worst part of fanon is how rigidly people expect u to obey it. if u dont portray miles as a gay trans man, people look at u weird, for example. which isnt to say that its Bad to follow that fanon, obviously i also think hes gay (i dont personally headcanon him as trans though) but just that it is fanon. until we get concrete proof in a game or anime or what have u of miles demonstrating or naming his sexuality/gender expression, it is just as perfectly valid to portray him as a cishet man as it is to portray him as a gay trans man, even if i personally think its weird and impossible to imagine him with a girlfriend or something. its fine to have different interpretations of whatever; its Not fine to get mad at somebody because theyre not following fanon that u personally ascribe to

25. common fandom complaint that ur sick of hearing

'i dont read wlw content because its all the same :( why are all the mean lesbians getting so mad that my mlm ship is just better :( its not my fault those stupid broads arent written as well as my spicy yaoi :( what do u mean one half of my mlm ship is a lamp ur just being mean to a mlm because ur bitter that ur stupid bitches arent written as well as my mlm gay disaster babies :( stop bullying me for no reason u crazy psycho cunt this is why nobody gives a shit enough about ur dumbass wlw ship to make anything for it :('

obviously nothing wrong with mlm ships, i have been known to enjoy many mlm ships! but when a wlw (particularly a lesbian...) complains about the disproportionate amount of mlm fan content between characters who literally never spoke, stood next to each other once, or where one of them is literally Not A Character (clay terran is a prop i am not wrong about that), its SO FRUSTRATING to see the response be someone taking it as a personal attack and throwing the blame back out at wlw for not just shutting up and dealing with it. that post that showed among us had significantly more mlm fics over wlw fics on ao3 when Those Stupid Creatures Dont Even Have Gender/Character applies to like literally every other fandom

16. u cant understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc.)

any situation in which phoenix depends on miles for money during 7yg. similarly, royalty/medieval au where phoenix is some kind of servant to prince miles, and yes being a knight counts as being a servant in my mind. these two things feel wayyyyy imbalanced to me but in fanworks theyre portrayed as like necessary and appreciated by phoenix (in the money situation) or really romantic (in the royalty/medieval situation). idk, to me, phoenix would rather saw off his own arm and eat it than accept money, especially from miles, during 7yg, and if he did accept it it would only be because miles says 'let me do this for trucy then if ur gonna be so stubborn about it' and he Begrudgingly Agrees; with phoenix being miless knight, it just feels too much like people seeing phoenixs one-sided devotion to miles in aa1 and going 'this is normal and desirable behavior', and idk how to tell people this but phoenixs savior complex over miles is Not Good fjkdsjlfslak like it worked out for them but i dont think phoenixs behavior towards miles in aa1 especially is indicative of a well adjusted, emotionally stable person, and that hardly ever gets talked about its just 'wee wah hes soooo in luuuuurve isnt that romantic'

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

siblingsssss there are so many good sibling pairs/groups in aa. also wlw ship stuff In General because there is never enough in any fandom. also also (because i love to kick the hornets nest) more fic where the intention is to Tell An Actual Story With The Characters instead of projecting the authors trauma and/or kinks and/or personality onto the characters where it doesnt fit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

18. its absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

idk if krisnix counts as slept on because ive only been in the fandom for a couple years, i know things were different like 10-15 years ago and maybe it was more popular then, but. krisnix. jfkdsjfls. there is soooooooo much narrative drama u can cook up with these two, so many scenarios and angles, and uve got 7 whole years to fill!! and u can be as serious and somber as u want, going into mental health and toxic relationships and what it means to spend so much of ur life with someone who is so bad for u but letting go isnt easy because thats years of ur life with that person ur being asked to let go of, OR u can be silly and say that kristoph is christian grays lawyersona, because come on i dare anyone to try and tell me kristoph Isnt Also the worlds worst dom

#mine #THANK U PEPPER I KISS U ON THE MOUF #im sorry its so many words. fjkdlsjklf

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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plagiarism and bullying

I am not sure how much readers of this community know about what’s been happening, but I know pretty much anyone who writes has been going through hell the last couple of months because of authors who have grown too big for their own heads - and have effectively managed to poison the entire community with their behavior, which is precisely what I feared.

And I am sick of it.

I am sick of what can only be described as psychological and emotional harrassment, done privately so people feel isolated and scared to post anything.

I am sick of people thinking they own tropes, alternate universes, clichés, pairings, characters, even GENERAL PLOT POINTS that no one can possibly possess and take ownership of.

I am sick of these same people being the ones who can’t see an idea being thrown in front of them before attaching themselves to it until the original author is forced to pull back on something they’ve been working on because this other person who they considered a friend posted it before (oh yeah. I know all about those of you who are calling out people as plagiarists while stealing WIPs from your friends).

So let me give it to you straight - and this is coming from someone who is actually a victim of plagiarism myself.

Every time one of you points a finger at someone else and shames them privately or even attacks them publicly for writing a story that has the same generic set-up (Steve finds your fanfiction, Bucky loses himself to the Winter Soldier, reader needs to be rescued by one of the supersoldiers) you’re doing all of the people in this community a disfavor, by 1. making everyone scared of publishing anything, because the entitlement for the littlelest things seems vindicated now and 2. you’re taking away from actual instances of plagiarism and authors who are having their entire works stolen.

Think of it this way: can I feel entitled to the concept of sex pollen? only one bed? in vino veritas? why can I feel entitled to this concept that I apparently came up with but that can be rewritten in a thousand different ways?

If someone else can take that generic summary and run with it in a way that’s their own, YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TRADEMARK IT. It ISN’T an instance of intellectual property and it most definitely isn’t plagiarism.

You all have common sense. Use it. It’s one thing to copy an entire premise of a series, keep the same AU and character and change the lines of dialogue. It’s an entire different thing to create your own stepfather Bucky series, or mobster Steve series, or Alpha all of Chris’ characters (here, have one of “my own” ideas), with your own premise, your own ideas for each chapter and the other details of their relationship with the reader.

Or are you telling me from now on, there can be no more alpha!Bucky’s heat taking over him suddenly, Steve and Reader have to share a bed on a mission, stories with reader, charles and lee as a pairing or any other unusual one? Is that what we really want? To be the only suppliers of a certain trope, pairing or au? Can you see how your ego is affecting the entire fanfiction community hee on tumblr? Why authors are giving up on providing their fictional universes to welcome us into after a lousy day?

If your work inspired someone else’s, there’s a simple way to resolve it: reach out to the writer, confirm it was actually inspired by yours and ask them to give you credit. Credit is the actual solution for works that have been inspired by other works, but not bullying, not threats, not forcing someone to delete their own versions of a story we’re all actually sharing because bottom-line? We are all stealing Marvel’s characters and placing them on Shakespeare’s plot lines and the only thing we can do about it is add our porn and our own personal interpretations, imagination and developments.

And that means, of course: writers, if your story was inspired by someone else’s, please give them the proper credit. As I’m sure you’re aware, we are very quick to identify when something is similar to our creations, and it’s a fucking awful feeling. It’s what created this whole witch hunt over plagiarism in the first place, but while in 8/10 cases it isn’t actually plagiarism, it fucking sucks and it could have been easily prevented when it was just a matter of recognizing you aren’t the seventh wonder of the universe and actually got the inspiration to write that story from someone else.

In the same way, DON’T STEAL PEOPLE’S IDEAS WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT THEM. And no, THAT’S NOT PLAGIARISM either, it’s just common decency. They might even be okay with you writing the same idea, but it’s always nice to let them know and give them credit. Especially if it’s someone you consider a friend, but even more so if it’s something you saw as a snippet of a WIP on your timeline (as a general rule, I wouldn’t work on anything I thought intriguing only after I saw someone else was writing it).

And finally, still keeping that other point in mind: you don’t have the right to stop someone from working on something similar to what you’re writing. Can you imagine how many people are writing, at this exact moment, stories with the same premise? Of course, once it’s out, there’s a high chance the projects will be completely different, since each writer made it their own. I am willing to bet most of them didn’t copy from one another, they just happened to be interested in the same things - which is often the case here, prevented you aren’t an asshole that does what I described in the last paragraph.

I don’t know about you guys, but I am excited to read more stories about magical boading schools and I definitely hope J.K. Rowling won’t stop me from getting that.

Similarly, I beg you. You want to write your mafia!andy series? Please, do. The world needs your story. Just make sure it truly is your story that you’re telling.

tl;dr: plagiarism is a real issue, but never an excuse to bully people and traumatize them from writing. Writers, learn the difference between plagiarism and inspiration. If you do think it’s actual plagiarism you’re working with, please follow the following steps:

Before accusing anyone from plagiarism:

1. Actually talk to them without threatening or manipulating them so you can understand what happened and let them know how you feel. 80% of the times they’ll apologize and give you credit for it.

2. Unless you’re the reincarnation of William Shakespeare (and so being, you have the rights to all of the tropes and plot twists created in modern literature. go you!) - and prevented the “plagiarism” isn’t so obviously truly plagiarism, that it can be proven with two screenshots placed side by side - talk to someone unbiased who will tell you if what you think was stolen was actually stolen. There’s a good chance you’re being delusional and thinking the entire world is aware of your stories and looking forward to take advantage of your hard work on them.

A good rule of thumb? Don’t do to others what you don’t wish would be done to you, and make sure to apply that rule to the way you approach the situation and treat the person you were so quick to consider a villain. I’ve yet to see (in this community, since I got here) a situation where the writer accused of plagiarism when confronted has been anything other than kind and remorseful, ready to remedy the situation once it’s been brought to their attention.

If you’re so certain of being right, there’s literally no reason to be aggressive to someone who’s not treating you rudely.

#eyre rants #i am signing off for the foreseeable future

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lumelton · 2 years

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Alright, I feel like discussion and memeing has calmed down enough. By which I mean I kept putting off doing this while it was relevant and, nearly three months after the initial outcry, I’m finally doing it. So that’s something right? Anyways, let’s talk about Archive 81.

(spoilers for season 1 of the Netflix adaptation and season 1 and 2 of the podcast, light spoilers for season 3) (also this one is really long, I think it’s good but just keep that in mind)

I was not a fan of Archive 81 when the Netflix series was released but through the online discourse I quickly determined “podcast good, adaptation bad” and added the podcast to my listen later pile. My family, around the time floated the idea of watching the series, I quickly explained why thing bad based off of what I’d gathered online and left it at that. Two months later they started watching it anyway while I was out of the house. Determined to prove that the adaptation had both straightwashed the lead and failed to adapt its proclaimed source material I decided to finally listen to the podcast.

I listened to the first season in a day, probably not the intended way of consuming the show but I did anyway. It was fantastic, I was taken by the world and the ideas being presented in the work. I watched the first two episodes that night and let me tell you, what? A huge part of the original show was the idea of layers of story, my interpretation of the first season hinged heavily on this. On the top layer was yourself, the listener, then Mark’s story of releasing the audio, then Dan’s of cleaning the audio, then Melody’s of recording it, then the people of the Visser building, and finally, the Song. Each layer gets weirder, more abstract, the people of the Visser blatantly discuss the overarching themes of the show and are weird actualizations of them. The final abstraction is just a melody, a song that speaks of such powerful ideas that it has the power to reshape the world, this song is being pulled out of a realm of truly abstract concepts by the Visser building itself and the stories told within. Every layer is trapped inside the story once they start to consume it because it speaks to them so deeply.

Let’s talk about the Netflix show. For starters the audience isn’t so involved, that’s fine, that’s even something that later seasons mostly drop. Second, the themes of the original have all been changed to the point where this isn’t the same story. Lastly, half the characters are unrecognizable and some have different names for no reason. What was wrong with Liam Davenport, I thought that was a perfectly good name. Why’s he Virgil now? Alexa is now Annabelle, which I do actually understand, it’s Amazon’s fault. I’ll talk more extensively about the changes to them and the rest of the cast after I quickly touch on the changes of theme.

(the following paragraph is the only time I will resort to swearing in this essay so that the true depths of my anger directed at the following change can be felt)

WHO THE FUCK IS KALEGO OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. They grounded it in demonology and witchcraft for no reason, the metaphor of story and art was beautiful but James Wan loves his Christian devils, demons, and ghosts, oh my! So much of the theme is lost in the clusterfuck of lore and history that’s entirely pointless. Why is all this bloated dog shit being stuffed inside of a tight story? I’ll tell you why, it’s because they had to make a 2.5hr podcast into an 8hr TV show because that’s what makes good bingeable content. That’s what all TV shows have to be now if they want to be popular, fuck making good art. Also Dan can just fucking leave now, just waltz right out of those big intimidating mental gates and have a nice little chat in a coffee shop away from Melody and all that drama. It would be one thing if he was talking with Davenport but he’s talking with Mark another level headed person who can give him serious advice.

On many other levels the adaptation fails to understand the very blatantly displayed themes from the show. The show doesn’t shy away from talking about themes almost directly with the audience, in what is admittedly my least favourite moment of the show the podcast addresses that audience, condescending on theories deemed stupid and generally dishing shit on some people, but this is blatant, barely hidden, and most importantly it’s doing something. Here’s a quick quote from the second episode “I’m interested the totality of human experience, and how difficult that is to stuff into a narrative. The ideas that can’t be expressed in language, how something greater than a story can shift the way we see the world, like, like calling someone by a wrong name so many times that it becomes the right name. So that they believe it.. The idea of the piece is to create music that can demolish barriers. And to get people to build their houses with the debris.” That’s it, that is a core component of the podcast, that’s what makes it what it is and it’s completely absent from the Netflix show. Added in are themes of family legacy which are over there in season 3 of the podcast but have no place here in season 1. The Baldung Witches are more of this theme of legacy and they’re replacing of the Cult of Purity removes yet more themes of no one really being good. Alright, now we can talk about what’s left of the characters from the podcast.

Melody, aside from being straight washed, which don’t worry, I’ll get to, is now an uncaring asshole for no reason who turns on her friends and barely cares about anyone in the Visser. Podcast Melody grew attached to the people of the Visser, she wanted to fight for them even though she was getting no material gain from it. And when she fought she was cunning, she outsmarted Samuel in their final confrontation and defeated an eldritch Leviathan, leading her to becoming a fearful and powerful force in the Unexplored Territory. To really put the cherry on the cake Netflix Melody becomes the antithesis to who she was in the podcast by becoming a damsel in distress, trapped in the Otherworld cradling her childhood memory of being abandoned by her mother. This moment resulted in the following comment from my mother; “Oh she’s like Will in Stranger Things now.”

I suppose Melody disliking the residents is reasonably justified because the people of the Visser are for the most part completely different, which is to say that they’re all members of Samuel’s cult now for no real reason. Jesse is Jessica now because a young black girl living in poverty is less threatening than a teenage black boy living in poverty. She’s also a sacrificial lamb instead of someone who Melody unnecessarily brings into this and ends up getting killed. Chris is really depressed and gets pushed off the building by a member of the cult, Chris who, while going through withdrawal was still cracking jokes and being at least interesting. Chris and his other nameless, lineless druggie friends are way creepier, made insane by the power of the mold in the Visser building. All around Chris is a lot less fun which is annoying because he was such a Character in the podcast, like what a guy. All the other interesting people in the Visser are gone except for Tamara who is the same but is now part of the cult and gets sacrificed by Samuel in Jessica’s place.

Speaking of Samuel he’s now just openly lying to people and whining and sniveling like a kicked puppy, instead of cleverly avoiding people by using the building’s free flowing architecture and knowing how stories work and that this is a story so certain things are going to happen. The final confrontation between Melody and Samuel is one of the coolest in the podcast but in the show I can neither hate Samuel for his villainy or really feel like I can cheer for Melody because now they both suck. I don’t care about Samuel’s big evil plan because Samuel doesn’t know what he’s doing and not in the cool podcast way of “he can just barely begin to truly understand the implications of his actions” but in the “he’s an idiot who is trying too hard to act manipulative.

Dan has a tragic backstory tying him to the Visser building now. Why? (because they hired a popular actor and needed to beef up his role) He was just an unfortunate guy with the skills Davenport needed in the podcast, none of this family legacy bullshit, same goes for Melody really. I’ve already touched on the Baldung Witches aspect of this but it bears repeating, the Cult of Purity which they replace was explicitly villainous, they are one of the main antagonists of season 3 and are consistently described as extremists. In the Netflix show, the witches burned down Dan’s house killing everyone in his family but him. This is barely a twist and doesn’t play any real role in whether or not Dan trusts them because now they’re out of time and they need to wrap it all up with a nice cliffhanger.

I’m not going to talk about Alexa/Annabelle, her remaining gay, her character “arc”, or the fact that she does nothing for 30 years but paint in a mental hospital while seemingly having full mental function, because that would take up a whole new essay.

That leaves us with one last thing to talk about. Melody Pendras and her straight washing. Like so many of the other changes I’ve discussed this comes from an attempt to appeal to the general public with a nice straight relationship between the two leads. Dan falling in love with Melody serves as essentially his only motivator for doing the ritual and venturing into the Otherworld to rescue her. Their relationship bends space and time and while yes, time travel does briefly feature in the podcast this just comes across as a failed attempt to make the plot seem so confusing that you can’t understand it, let alone find any holes. This fails rather spectacularly and just become annoying. Enough said about the weird time mechanics of the show. Of course, I’d be remised not to mention the brief plotline where Samuel attempts to woo Melody, though this is so quickly dropped it seems like the writers must have had at least some self awareness.

So there you have it, the issue with the Netflix adaptation of Archive 81 is that it attempts to appeal to a large audience like the directors other projects do. This is something that the source material never does, as it always tries to find new and interesting stories to tell in a narrative that remains malleable and tonally distinct between seasons. Netflix tried to take a bunch of their most popular shows and weld them into a cohesive series but ended up with project that has an artistic sheen but no real core. It’s almost funny looking at season three of the podcast as a commentary on the Netflix adaptation, especially the finale, though I’ll give no further spoilers. Netflix also rather hilariously represents LMG which might be another reason why they failed in adapting so many themes.

Thanks everyone for sticking with me through this rant. I hope you enjoyed.

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charleswaterloo · 3 years

Note

AGREED DO THE ULTIMATE FIC REC

Thank you so much for asking!! Okay, here we go!

DC fics that I got a few paragraphs into and already KNEW were going to be AMAZING:

1. The Jason Project by loosingletters

Warnings: Major Character Death

Jason had just wanted to see his autopsy report, he had only wanted to know what information Bruce had about his death. And when Bruce hadn't given it to him, he had stolen it. He hadn’t meant to stumble upon the bucket list of a dead child and the footage of a grieving father crossing one item after another off the list.

My thoughts: I don't often cry (which isn't healthy lmao) but this fic made me cry (happy tears!). It is absolutely wonderful and while angsty it has such a beautiful ending. I can't recommend it enough!

2. Little bird by Ididloveyou_once

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tim knew he was fucked if only for the way that his brain was chanting Jason, like a litany. So he definitely didn’t need to hear the cold, mechanical chuckle or the chillingly delighted 'lucky me' to know that this was not good.

He took a second to look down at his coffee mournfully.

Then, he threw it at Hood’s helmet and bolted down the Tower corridor.

Or: Tim is supposed to be at Gotham Academy for a parent-teacher conference. Hood has other plans (Titans Tower AU).

My thoughts: One of the best Titans Tower AU fics I have ever had the pleasure of reading. The ending is to die for and so fluffy - it never fails to warm my heart <3

3. Straight to Voicemail by cabbagetop

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

“Red Hood. I need you to incapacitate Timothy Drake-Wayne.” “Aw, man,” Jason sighs, shouldering through the old wooden doors and out into the street with his books under his arm. “You and half the northern hemisphere. What’d he do this time?”

Jason's phone is blowing up about one Timothy Drake-Wayne (who is Jason's responsibility since when, exactly?). Jason comfort-eats. Jason suffers long. Jason reluctantly tries to keep this Raphus cucullatus of a human being alive, and maybe finds himself sidling back into the family while he's at it.

My thoughts: I was crying with laughter by the third sentence. If you want free serotonin, you will find it here folks, I guarantee it. Brilliantly written and hilarious and such a fantastic interpretation of Jason's character. Please read this lmao <3

4. miss me? by envysparkler

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Jason’s plan to observe his family’s reactions to his resurrection…does not go as intended.

My thoughts: I think I've recommended this one at least once before, but I will do so again because it is one of the best stories I have ever had the honour of reading on AO3. It has a happy ending, but was another fic which actually made me tear up. It is just beautiful and I'm sure some of you have read it before. Read it again even if you have - it's that good.

5. No Pain, All Gain by @sohotthateveryonedied

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Bruce checks Tim’s IV. “Are you in any pain? Do you need more morphine?”

Tim’s pupils are so wide that only the faintest ring of blue can be seen. He watches Bruce the way a five-year-old watches cartoons. “I’m all good, B-dog. All Gucci, like we cool teens say." His words are slurred almost beyond recognition, but Tim doesn’t seem to notice or care. "I could fight Superman right now.”

My thoughts: I know of only about 3 or 4 fics featuring Tim absolutely high out of his mind on some drug or another and this has got to be one of the absolute best of them. Whenever I feel the Depression(TM) crawling in and I need to laugh INSTANTLY I read this. It has not failed me yet. I can't recommend it enough it's so funny and a great read <3 The line below from the fic makes me scream laugh EVERY TIME:

“He’s not in his right mind.” “So? Neither are you half the time but you’re still in charge of everything.”

6. The Ouija Boy by SunnyBlue

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Timothy Drake was a stillborn baby. He was born dead, stayed that way for a solid five minutes, and was then resuscitated in the delivery room. He was a child who grew up alone, but for his imaginary friends. He had so many imaginary friends, in fact, that his parents sent him to get evaluated several times over the course of his childhood, which was spent with Tim as the only heartbeat in that house.

But that didn’t mean he was alone.

---

Tim sees dead people. When a Batboys murder investigation is going nowhere, he realizes his only chance at solving the case is to speak to the ghost of one of the victims. He has to reveal his secret to his brothers -- or risk the killer getting away.

My thoughts: STAND BACK FOR POSSIBLY ONE OF MY TOP TEN FAVOURITE FICS OF ALL TIME. I'm pretty sure I've recommended this one before but I will do so again. The story is impeccable, the mystery is ELITE and everything about it is literally perfect. I re-read this at least once a month so I can bask in its greatness and become a better person for having read it.

7. there but for the grace of god by TheResurrectionist

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

From a tumblr prompt.

AKA, "A Justice League fic where everyone argues about who's the most beautiful and intimidating sexy from the Big Three and everyone has valid points."

My thoughts: I'm going to let the note I added to the bookmark I made of this fic speak for itself. Here's what I wrote: "This was so funny - shoutout Jason for undeniable lad vibes plus the fact he felt he needed to neatly organise and write down the big three's sexiest traits."

8. American Ninja Worrier by DangerBeckett

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

It's just like Tim to give a poor college student a start in the business world. Kid's a bleeding heart, and usually, that's the sort of thing Jason avoids at all costs. He prefers his bleeding hearts on the literal side, and despite Bruce's best efforts, he's never had a head for business.

Unfortunately, though, this time the business is ninjas, and that's the sort of thing that makes Jason take notice. Because Bruce is useless, and someone's gotta make sure Tim's new internship program doesn't take down all of Gotham.

That's Jason's job, after all.

My thoughts: Please GOD just read the first few paragraphs. You'll know exactly what I mean when I say that this fic is it. Hilarious, badass and adorable. I mean, see the title of this fic rec. I just knew this fic was going to be amazing from the first line.

I have many, many more of course, but I'll leave this here for now as it's getting to be a pretty long post. Anyway, these are all fics - short and long! - that I knew were going to be absolutely perfect within the first few moments of reading. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

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choiceskatie · 3 years

Text

Invasion of Privacy

Book: The Nanny Affair/Mother of the Year

Warnings: Extremely NSFW. Smut. Lemony as fook. The filthiest thing I’ve ever written so the embarrassment may induce my next leave of absence (I’m also very out of practice, pls be kind)

Word count: 9.6k. I don’t know lol. I really don’t know.

Summary: Reimagining of Sam’s birthday. Takes place during TNA book 1 chapter 3.

Author’s Note: this idea randomly came to me one morning (can’t stop a ho from being a ho) and as I went to write it, it dawned on me this would be the perfect birthday fic for Miss Nitah. So, I forced myself to wait 5 months to write it (and then had a writers block for months and wrote this in 3 days this week lol). @ao719 happy birthday, my sweet fren. I wrote out many words about how great you are and then decided publishing them publicly would just make both of us uncomfortable so resigned myself to a paragraph or two lmao.

Fun fact, you were my first ever follower on here. You followed me when I didn’t even know how to reblog, all I knew how to do was send you messages obsessing over your writing and send you anonymous asks about when the next chapter of FD would be out lmfao. I think you’re one of the only blogs I followed for like two months, bc all I did for weeks on end was work through the pandemic and come home and read every single fic you’d ever written. I even read New Beginnings before I’d read MotY (what a sad time of my life) just because I needed my fix of your stories 🤣

I love keysmashing with you, obsessing over pixelated characters, trying to interpret lines to decipher which of them has the biggest dicks lmao. I love you obsessing over Scottish tiktoks and me teaching you what the words mean. You’re seriously amazing, and I’m so thankful to know you.

Anyway, these are just some of the characters that you and I obsess over, and I hope you enjoy this, my dude! I hope it doesn’t disappoint after me telling you how excited I was about it for 6 months 😂 (and sorry this is late lol) happy birthday weekend! I adore you 🤍

Also thanks for being born and forcing me out of my writers block. My screen time for docs this week is a little concerning but that sounds like a problem for future me.

Thanks to @lsvdw-blog for prereading this for me every time I wrote five lines, love you baby g.

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

The sound of the elevator dinging stops Anna and the twins in their tracks, panicked eyes meeting one another in alarm as they realise Sam has picked the most inopportune time to finally leave the office at a normal hour.

“Is that your dad? He’s not supposed to be home yet!”

“You have to stall him!” Mason gestures to the doorway with the large oven mitts dwarfing his hands. “Or else the surprise is going to be completely ruined!”

“Go, go, go!”

Mickey gently pushes her out into the hallway before she has a chance to protest. She stumbles into the corridor as she comes face to face with Sam’s handsome face, quickly forming the private smile she’s grown to love as he quirks an eyebrow at her.

“Coming to greet me at the door now, Anna?” His friendly grin is quickly replaced with something darker, something hungrier, as she watches his gaze travel from her head to her toe, taking in the special gown she’s put on to celebrate his big day. “You look…”

He gnaws at his lower lip as he struggles to finish his sentiment, eyes meeting her own again as she feels her body heat rising rapidly under the intensity of his stare.

She shakes herself from the daze as she remembers the mission she’s been sent out here to accomplish.

“Sam! I wasn’t expecting you so soon…” She trails off as she hears the telltale chime of the elevator reaching the penthouse suite again, her dark eyebrows knitting together as she looks at him in confusion.

Before she can question who else is joining them for Sam’s birthday celebrations, her attention is pulled to the opening of the doors and the commanding figure that slowly emerges from them.

Her breath hitches as she takes in the vision of the tall man. She suddenly feels the need to avert her eyes to the floor, flustered by his piercing gaze that quickly centres on her.

Naturally, as she stares at the hardwood flooring, she notices his shoes first. Large, brown brogues adorn his feet and she can’t help but to theorise they undoubtedly cost more than her old apartment’s rent. She surmises that they were either bought this morning, or that’s what shoes actually look like with a few zeroes added on to the end of their price tag.

Long legs are donned in pristine navy slacks, clearly tailored to perfectly carve the muscular shape she can already see through the expensive fabric. They lead up to an equally pristine suit jacket, sitting snugly against a taut waist before widening to accompany the man’s exceedingly broad shoulders.

Her gaze once again drops as she tries to survey the man’s hands, groaning inwardly as she notices they’re tucked behind his back and denying her the opportunity to find out if he’s married. She quickly realises that it doesn’t make much of a difference for many a reason: she’s not said two words to this man and isn’t sure why his marital status is of any note or interest to her; Sam’s not married and yet she’s still found herself in the middle of a train wreck.

As she finally wills herself to snap back to the present and focus on the man’s face, her attention is pulled to a second body exiting the elevator shaft.

“Mickey! Mason!”

A small frame barrels out into the hallway, a flash of yellow blurred by a wild brown mane chasing by her.

“Get back here right now, little lady!”

The figure stops abruptly as her sneakers squeak loudly on the floor. She turns back with an impish smile as she retreats to the man’s side.

When he speaks, his deep voice sends a shiver down Anna’s spine. “Uncle Sam has a guest, darling. Introduce yourself before you run off to wreak havoc on the penthouse.”

Anna’s gaze snaps towards Sam, confusion etched on her features. “Uncle? I didn’t know you had a niece, Sam.”

“Oh, he’s not my uncle!” The young girl interrupts, grinning up at Anna as she steps towards her. “We pretend that Mickey and Mason are my cousins, but they’re not really. I think my dad just likes to call them that because he’s an only child and he doesn’t want to feel he’s deprived me of a major part of childhood.”

Anna stifles a laugh as she looks up at the girl’s father, his exaggerated eye roll completely ruined by the warm smile on his face. “Is that so? That’s awfully insightful for a girl your age.”

“Thanks, Miss…”, she breaks off as her nose scrunches up in thought, trying to remember if she’s been told the woman’s name before her dad gives her a lecture for not remembering it.

“Schuyler,” she smiles down at her.

“Thanks, Miss Schuyler! My dad always tells me I’m street smart, which is good because I ain’t so good with the books.”

Her eyes flicker up to the girl’s father once more to see his mouth drop open in shock.

“I have never once said that, Luz!”

She waves him off without turning her back as she grins at Anna. “He didn’t need to. I figured it out myself because I’m-”, she stops to tap her temple, beaming with pride, “street smart.”

That gets a hearty chuckle from all of the adults around her, her father’s eyes crinkling in delight at the witty daughter he’s raising.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Luz.” Anna extends her hand to shake, promptly being shaken by Luz. “I’m Anna, the boy’s nanny.”

“Oh! Where are they?”

At the reminder of the boys, Anna nearly curses in front of the young child. She’d completely forgotten about the meal being made in the next room for Sam’s birthday.

“They’re in the kitchen, sweetie. Why don’t you go in yourself and see what they’re up to?”

She flashes her a wide grin before she turns with a start, calling out to the boys as she runs down the length of the corridor. “Mickey! Mason! I brought my brick!”

Sam throws his head back with a loud laugh at the look on his guest’s face, pure fear as he drops his head in his hands.

“If I make it to her 18th birthday, it’ll be a miracle.” Anna giggles as the stranger drops his hands, chuckling as he walks towards her. He offers her his hand, smiling as Sam introduces him.

“Anna, this is Thomas Mendez. He and I met in college and I’ve been stuck with him ever since.”

She takes his hand in hers, suppressing the shudder longing to course through her as she feels the warmth of his skin and looks up at his friendly face. She meets his eyes and can’t help but to stare. Although they are icy in tone - grey blue looking straight into her soul - an unrivalled warmth radiates from them, a kindness she’s never been privy to before now.

“College, huh?”

He nods with a smile. “Stanford.” He leans in to whisper conspiratorially, but purposefully loud enough for Sam to hear. “I got in on my own accord though, nothing to do with Mommy and Daddy’s money.”

Anna’s eyes widen at the remark before she hears a guffaw coming from Sam, turning to see him shaking his head friendly at his old friend.

“Clearly Tommy isn’t planning on giving me a break just because it’s my birthday.”

“Wow, you guys must have known each other a long time.”

“Are you implying that we’re old, Anna?” He smiles slyly as he raises a challenging eyebrow at her.

“Thomas, I bought Sam’s birthday cake; that includes the many candles the boys insisted on for every year of his life. Trust me, I know how old you are.”

Thomas’ face is bright with amusement as he turns to smirk at Sam. “Oh, she’s trouble.”

“Tell me about it.”

Anna’s reply is forgotten as she hears the twins calling her from the dining room and instructs both men to follow her through.

The twins stand at the head of the table, grinning from ear to ear as they proudly present their home cooked meal for Sam.

“Tada! Happy birthday, Dad!”

He grins wide and pulls them both in for a bear hug, before pulling Anna into a close embrace, thanking her quietly as he knows she was the one to pull this off.

Luz stands a few feet in front of them, scowling at her father as she crosses her arms over her chest childishly.

“Dad, why didn’t you tell me this was a fancy dinner party?” She huffs. “Mason and Mickey are in suits and you let me come in my soccer uniform!”

“And would you have worn a pretty dress had I informed you of the dress code?”

“Well, no but-”

“That’s what I thought, munchkin.” He reaches out to ruffle her hair and she only manages to frown for a few seconds more before a giggle breaks through.

They all sit down at the table as Sam quickly strides to produce a vintage bottle of wine for their meal, offering Anna a drink first.

“Oh, no, I shouldn’t…” She shakes her head as she waves him off. “You deserve to enjoy yourself tonight so you go ahead and I’ll put the boys to bed.”

“Don’t worry about that. When I found out Thomas was coming into town, I asked Carter if he’d watch over the kids after we’re done with dinner and he offered to stay so you could have the night off. Bedtime is taken care of.”

Anna is taken aback that Sam has always included her in his plans for the evening, but quickly grins in delight as she holds her glass out to him. “Well, then. Fill me up.”

~~~~~~~~

Sam quickly finds out that tipsy Anna is just as much of a joy to be around as her sober self.

Thomas quickly finds out that any form of Anna is the most fun he’s had in years.

The three adults sit long after dinner is over whilst the children sleep soundly at the other end of the penthouse, Carter acting as their faithful guard.

They sit in Sam’s study, Anna between the two men on the large sofa as her feet curl under her legs, uncaring of her appearance as her mind grows slightly dazed with alcohol and relaxation. Both men gaze longingly at her, an arm from each resting behind her head on the plush fabric.

Four bottles of an expensive red Anna’s never heard of lay empty on the coffee table, a fifth half full and spread generously between their large glasses as they laugh loudly at another story about Luz’ fights at her school.

Thomas is the picture of a doting parent as he pretends to scold Luz’s attitude, but the twinkle in his eye is unmistakable as he talks about his daughter.

Anna sheds a tear as Thomas bravely confides in her that he too has been widowed, although choosing only to divulge a few details about the nature of his late wife’s death.

At some point through the night, he realises this is the freest his heart has felt since that fateful day. Luz may be the light of his life, and try as Sam might to cheer him up with countless weekends away and trips to see his family, he’s never felt as happy as he does right now talking to Anna.

He allows himself to be carried away with the notion before he recognises the heated glances coming from her boss. He knows his friend, and he knows the heartbreak he endured when he lost his wife. He swore off love forever, fully believing that lightning never strikes twice. Thomas had always taken him at his word; that was until tonight.

He knows the nature of the situation between Sam and Sofia; he’s known Sofia for nearly as long as he’s known Sam and the two couldn’t be further from a compatible match.

They may share similar career aspirations and bank balances, but that’s the full extent of their resemblance.

Where Sofia is brash and self-centred, Sam is kind and generous.

He’d never enter into an agreement like the one his best friend has found himself involved in, but he’ll always support him.

However, he begins to wonder what situation he’s found himself to be involved in with his children’s nanny as he watches them interact.

It’s obvious to anyone close to Sam that he’s not interested in Sofia, so he begins to wonder if he’s fulfilling certain needs elsewhere. He’s only a man after all, and perhaps until he’s married he still plans to play the field.

Thomas admires that about his friend, his ability to shut off his emotions, a trait he unfortunately hadn’t picked up in his life. But a thought occurs to him as he revels in the warmth of Anna’s smile directed at him: maybe it’s not too late.

If Sam can blow off some steam, why can’t he?

On a particularly witty comment falling from Anna’s lips, Thomas finds his free hand gravitating towards her, finding its place on the curve of her thigh.

Her breath hitches as she feels the heat of his body through the flimsy material her dress is made of. He notices instantly, and makes the quick decision to leave his hand there for a beat longer, testing the waters as he tries to gauge the energy he’s been feeling from Anna all night.

He sees her gaze flicker down to his lips before she bites down on her own and he suppresses a victorious grin.

He’s not sure if it’s the wine coursing through his veins or the desire thrumming in his body at the thrill of a woman’s touch again after so long, but his drunk mind tells him that it’s now or never.

He moves his hand up slowly, stifling a smirk as he watches Sam’s eyes follow the movement and his jaw tick ever so slightly.

“You know, Anna, there’s a lot of things that Sam and I used to do in college that we don’t get the chance to anymore.”

“Oh?”

“Mm.” he hums thoughtfully as his fingers start to trace tantalising circles against her. “We weren’t always boring fathers with corporate jobs, you know.”

“Oh, I know that.” She giggles as her gaze flickers over to Sam, her hand gripping onto his knee affectionately as she winks at him. “Sam’s told me some crazy stories from his youth, and I don’t doubt that he’s leaving some of the best ones out to save my opinion of him.”

He sees Sam attempt to move imperceptibly to fix himself without moving Anna’s hand from him, and Thomas smiles to himself wryly. Doesn’t take much.

He doesn’t miss the way Anna’s hand lingers on Sam, and he’s more sure than ever that this is no normal employer-employee relationship.

“Oh?” He smiles at her as he tightens his hold on her thigh ever so slightly. “And what is it you think he might be keeping from you?”

“Nothing I could say aloud, counsellor.” She winks and he feels desire unfurl deep in his core, and he can finally see why Sam keeps Anna around.

It’s no mystery to see why Anna was hired in the first place. She’s energetic, kind, bubbly, personable; her personality is downright enchanting. She’s brought Luz out of her shell more tonight that he’s seen anyone else achieve in the past few years. She clearly has a way with children and he’s grateful for her presence in the boy’s life.

No, seeing why she was hired in the first place is a no brainer. Since the moment he laid eyes on her, Thomas has been wondering why Sam is stupid enough to keep her around when she’s clearly so damn tempting.

Her looks alone are enough to drive a man wild. Sure, she’s dressed up especially for tonight but he can tell that no outfit could hide the large breasts and pert rear she’s sporting. He can’t quite repress the way his vivid imagination immediately conjures up the idea of her naked and writhing for him, and he feels his slacks become a little tighter.

Body aside, her face is a thing of beauty. Her big brown eyes; so angelic and alluring. The way they glitter with flecks of gold as the warm light catches her face. The soft slope of her nose that leads to her plump lips. Those lips.

He’s entirely confident that her mouth alone could bring a man to his knees.

Although he quickly surmises she seems like the type of woman who would rather be on her knees.

She’s absolutely sinful.

Yes, Thomas finally understands why Sam keeps her around. It’s that he has no choice: any man in her radar is utterly powerless before her.

One look at her and he knows he’d like to see if she’s willing to submit that power to him in another room.

“And has Sam told you any stories involving me?”

She shakes her head with a wry grin. “Considering I’d never heard of you until tonight, funnily enough no.”

Cheeky. I like it.

“Now, that’s a shame.” He sneaks a glance at Sam and he can see his friend’s curiosity peaked with an inquisitive quirk of his brow. “There’s a few stories I think you’d rather enjoy.”

He can see Sam’s eyes widen in momentary surprise before they narrow in recognition, a smirk gracing his lips as his head shakes visibly in amusement.

“I’m not sure if Anna would be interested in those stories, Tommy.”

“Why don’t we let Anna decide for herself, Samuel?”

“Why don’t we let Anna in on this little inside joke you two seem to have?” She chuckles as she interrupts, the men joining in as she looks between them.

Thomas inclines his head slightly towards Sam, letting him take the reins as he tries to broach the topic. Sam leans towards the table, placing his tumbler of scotch on the wooden surface before leaning back and edging closer towards Anna, his far arm never losing its place on her shoulders at the back of the couch.

The arm around her slips down behind her back, curling around her waist as he pulls her into his side tightly. His free hand raises to graze across her cheekbone before tangling in her hair as he angles further towards her, close enough to feel her sharp intake of breath against his lips.

He whispers against her as goosebumps erupt across her skin. “It involves,” he breaks off as he closes the little distance remaining between them and presses his lips against hers. She only manages to hold back for a second before her body betrays her and melts against him, the gasp in her throat opening her mouth and allowing his tongue to slip inside and dance with her own.

Her eyes open as she feels Thomas’ fingers circling against her bare thigh again, and she manages to pull back from Sam as her head begins to swim.

She doesn’t manage to tear her eyes away from him but she’s acutely aware that Thomas is closer to her than he was only moments ago.

“It involves the three of us doing a lot more than that together.”

She feels like her eyes are about to bulge out of her head as her head snaps round to look at Thomas, expecting to find him with the same bewildered expression she’s sure is on her own face.

Instead, all she finds is lust blown pupils dilating as they stare at her, enticing her as she feels a magnetic pull towards him.

“What do you say, angel?” He leans towards her to press a soft kiss to her cheek before gently grasping her chin between his thumb and forefinger, directing her gaze to his. “Would you like to have some fun with us?”

She attempts a deep breath as she feels her heart begin to race, beating furiously against her chest as she struggles to believe what she’s hearing.

But one look at Thomas’s face and the unmistakable feeling of Sam’s hand creeping upwards from her waist and she has her answer.

A single nod is all she can muster before Thomas’ lips are on hers. It’s different from Sam’s kiss; where his pressure was firm, Thomas’ lips are soft. And yet, they both make her ache with need for them.

Their tongues meet and she feels his hand travelling further up her thigh as she bunches fistfuls of his shirt between her dainty fingers.

She sighs in pleasure as she feels Sam’s lips latch onto her neck, smattering wet, hot kisses as they travel up to her jaw. As he sucks on her pulse point, she feels Thomas’ hand reach the apex of her thighs and she trembles in anticipation, only for his palm to skim over her before travelling to the opposite leg.

He pulls back with a smirk as he hears her groan in disappointment. “Something you need?”

She palms him through his slacks and it’s her turn to smirk as she watches his body shudder. “Yes, both of you inside of me.”

Sam and Thomas catch each other’s gazes as they look over Anna, eyebrows raised as they grin in delight.

“She’s a natural,” Sam’s breath tickles her as his teeth graze her earlobe, tugging as her eyes flutter closed.

“Ah,” she tuts as she moves to stand, grabbing the half drunk wine bottle and walking around the coffee table. “But that, you see, implies that I haven’t done this before.”

Sam stands after her, walking towards her and easily pulling her petite frame into his hard body. “You just get more and more intriguing everyday, you little minx. What else are you hiding?”

“A lady never tells,” her voice is a sultry whisper as her fingernails skin his arm, the bottle of wine dangling freely from her other. “Care to take this somewhere more private and find out for yourself?”

He bends down to kiss her fiercely before pulling back with a tug on her plump bottom lip. “Wait for us in my bedroom.”

She nods in excitement as she turns and walks to Sam’s bedroom, thankful that the master suite of the penthouse is on the opposite side to all other bedrooms.

Sam turns back to look at Thomas, the same sly smile gracing both of their faces.

“Are you sure about this? We’re not in our twenties anymore.”

Thomas stands up to walk over to him, laughing at the question when the two of them are standing with physical proof in their slacks of how sure they are. “And have you ever wanted to as much as right now?”

Sam shakes his head with a laugh as he sees his point. He offers him his hand, which Thomas promptly takes with a questioning expression.

“This is a one time thing. After all is said and done, she’s still my nanny.”

“Fine,” he concedes sincerely. “You can tell yourself that, but I’ve seen you making eyes at her all night. Frankly, I don’t know how this hasn’t happened already with you two living under the same roof.”

“Because of a certain blonde that has half a million dollars of mine wrapped around her ring finger?” Sam jests and earns a chuckle in response.

Thomas rolls his eyes good-naturedly as he begins to walk backwards to Sam’s bedroom. “We’ll see.”

Both men’s breath catch as they enter the room, as Anna has taken the honour of undressing upon herself.

Her dress and underwear lead a trail towards the bed where she awaits them, propped up by her elbows and legs spread as their eyes fixate on her glistening centre. The two of them swallow heavily, infatuated with the mess dripping down her legs.

Sam’s the first to move from the door frame as he manages to peel his eyes away, landing on her face as he nearly groans in excitement. “Decided to get started by yourself, did you?”

She nods innocently, but the way her hands reach up to cup her own breasts show there’s nothing innocent about her. “You were taking too long," she shrugs. “I thought you were leaving me to show myself a good time.”

“Yeah?” Sam reaches the edge of the bed as he stares down at her. “Why don’t you show us how you like it? Make yourself feel good for me.”

She takes one hand away from her chest, trailing it up and over her collarbone before sliding it into her wet mouth. She releases it with a soft pop before beginning its journey down her stomach, agonisingly slowly as the two men hold their breath in anticipation.

Thomas reaches down to palm himself absentmindedly as his eyes watch her every move. She finally hits between her thighs and her head drops back with a strangled moan as she strokes two fingers through her soaked pussy.

Sam’s breath grows ragged as his gaze is transfixed on the movement of her fingers, brushing through her wetness before finally flicking her clit. As her hips buck up and she gasps, he practically forgets Thomas is in the room.

He’s on his knees on the bed in seconds, mesmerised as he watches Anna circle herself, her body writhing in pleasure as her eyes flutter shut.

They open as she feels Sam’s large hands against her thighs, spreading her further as his usual light eyes are nearly swallowed whole by desire.

“I need to taste you,” he groans and he watches as her pussy clenches. “Can I, princess?”

“Yes, please.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

Right answer.

He leans down and licks a long swipe through her folds, his cock throbbing at the first taste of her. He pulls back lightly, enough to utter, “just as sweet as I imagined.”

Something comes over Thomas as he watches Anna’s elbows drop, unable to hold herself up as her hips gyrate against Sam’s dutiful tongue. She lets out a whimper as Sam’s fingers join the mix, gliding in with ease and curling as he brings towards her climax at an alarming rate.

“Does that feel good, angel?”

She forces her eyes open with difficulty to see Thomas approaching her, one knee resting on the bed as he kneels beside her.

She hums her agreement, but not before adding. “But I bet you could make me feel even better.”

Sam grins into her wetness. A healthy dose of competition had always kept the two men at their best in situations like these. He catches Thomas’ eye and nods imperceptibly.

Thomas kneels fully on the bed now, his lips brushing against Anna’s ear as he pushes her hair back to whisper. “You’re obviously not getting it good enough if you can still speak, sweetheart.”

He slides behind her on the bed, resting her back against his chest as his mouth presses hot open-mouthed kisses to her neck, biting down before soothing the spot with his tongue.

He rests her large breasts in his palms, kneading and massaging as he hears her moans rise in volume.

Sam feels her clench around his fingers as he watches Thomas’ thumbs flicking her hard nipples, rolling and tugging on them until they’re rosy.

He can feel she’s close by the rhythmic fluttering against his fingers and the roll of her hips against his face, so he picks up his momentum, and within seconds, she screams his name as she comes on his face.

He presses soft kisses against the inside of her thighs as his fingers slow before he finally withdraws them, a gasp leaving her throat at the sudden empty ache between her legs.

“Come here.”

She rises on shaky limbs and crawls towards Sam, his large body caging her as he kisses her passionately. She can taste herself on his lips and it makes her core throb with need once more.

She feels a set of hands grasping her hips, before Thomas tongue blazes a scorching trail down her spine and she shivers. He rises again and whispers, “my turn.”

Sam releases her and she begins to move backwards on the bed again, but is stopped by a firm hand on her lower back. “Ah, ah, just like that.”

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion as Thomas lays on his back, and then meet her hairline in shock as he slots his face between her thighs. “There, that’s perfect. Now do me a favour and sit on my face, sweetheart.”

She mumbles something under her breath, her words completely incomprehensible other than a soft praise to God.

She lowers herself down slowly, her eyes meeting Thomas’ as her hands take refuge on Sam’s broad shoulders.

She feels his hot breath against her folds and already moans in ecstasy, her knees digging into the mattress as she hovers above him.

His hands grasp her waist as his tongue wets his lips. “I know you can do better than that, Anna. Come on, sit on it.”

She nervously giggles but sees no ounce of humour in his expression. “But won’t I… suffocate you?”

He winks as he whispers huskily, “what a way to go.”

He pushes her down and she lets herself fall, his lips immediately latching onto her tingling clit and her eyes roll back in her head.

“Fuck, Thomas, just like that.”

His tongue laps at her, cupping her tightly and flicking her bundle of nerves as she writhes on his face. Her vision goes unfocused as she surrenders herself to the waves of intense pleasure building deep within her core.

She opens her eyes to see Sam staring at her, utterly awestruck as he watches her ride another man’s face. She feels their familiar inexplicable pull as she pulls him down to her height, their tongues meeting once more as her nails dig into his shoulders.

Thomas pulls back enough to mumble against her lips, his nose bumping her clit as he speaks. “Aren’t you going to give the birthday boy a treat?”

Sam smirks against her lips as she snakes her hand between their bodies, cupping him through his pants as he lets out a deep grunt. He covers her hand with his own, lacing their fingers together as he presses further.

“Is this what you want?”

Her hands reach for his shirt buttons, deft fingers plucking them apart with surprising dexterity as she races to see what’s underneath. The shirt flies off quickly, his strong body unabashedly on full view for her.

She presses her lips against his chest, mouth trailing downwards as her hands reach for his belt, unbuckling it before she unzips his pants and slips her hand inside.

Her breath catches as she feels the weight of him in her hand, and impatiently she pulls his slacks down alongside his boxers in one hand and the other wraps around his length and strokes him.

His cock twitches as he watches her eyes widen in amazement, gasping at the sight of him.

“I didn’t… I had no idea this was the situation we were dealing with.”

Sam reaches out to cup her cheek, pulling her gaze back to his.

“Trust me, it’s the perfect size.”

He clenches his jaw and softly pumps his hips as she softly works her hand up and down the velvety skin. Sam’s eyes darken with an intensity she’s never seen before as her tongue darts out to circle his tip before licking him from base to tip. Her full lips close around the head and she moans as she revels in his taste.

She relaxes her throat as she moves to take all of him inch by inch, her eyes watering even as she keeps them trained directly on his.

He reaches out to thread his fingers through her hair, clutching a fistful of it but still allowing her to set the pace.

“You can take it all, can’t you, pretty girl?”

His abdomen tenses as she bobs her head up and down, Sam watching down in quiet astonishment as she works him into a frenzy.

He begins to thrust gently, his cock hitting the back of her throat and she moans around him, Thomas choosing that exact moment to graze his teeth across her clit.

She pulls back from Sam to whine loudly, her hand continuing to work him over as the cool air blows against his hot skin.

Her other hand falls blindly to Thomas’ hair, tugging gently as her hips gyrate against his face.

She leans back in to take Sam in her mouth again, moaning against him as Thomas’ tongue enters her, twisting and curling as she rides it.

She hollows her cheeks and increases the pressure against his cock, riveted by the guttural groan she gains from her touch.

Her name is a warning on his lips as he feels a familiar tingling at the base of his spine, yet she only goes deeper as she urges him to give her it all.

Her hands embrace his ass as she pushes him to the edge, gripping tightly as her own orgasm rips through her and the vibrations from her moan drive Sam to follow her.

Anna swallows all that he gives her as she comes down from her own high, Thomas softly lapping at her as she trembles against his face.

She feels Sam begin to pull back and she does the same, raising one knee up and pulling it over Thomas’ chest as she lies down beside him, blissfully exhausted.

Thomas runs a hand down his face as he lets out a deep breath. “You’re incredible.”

“Says the guy who just did that,” she wryly shoots back.

He chuckles as she grins at him and he rolls over, pressing a soft kiss to her swollen lips.

He looks over to see Sam sitting down on the soft sofa in the corner of his room, eyes closed as he returns from ecstasy.

“Tapping out, big boy?”

He shakes his head, shooting him a crooked smirk.

“You should be so lucky,” he jokes. “But by all means, go on ahead as this old dog takes a minute to recover.”

He glances at Anna before gesturing towards his fully clothed body. “Well, I am still awfully overdressed, wouldn’t you say?”

Her only reply is a seductive little smile as she hoists her leg over his hip and rolls herself on top of him, fingers already on a mission to work his shirt open.

She peels it off hungrily, revealing his taut chest inch by inch as her lips mark every new bare patch of skin.

His shirt is thrown on the floor, forming a pile of haphazardly thrown clothes that is soon joined by his trousers.

Her head drops to the crook of his neck, Thomas’ breathing growing laboured as her mouth works its way down the length of his chest and stomach, her tongue dipping into his belly button, before she takes the waistband of his boxers between her teeth.

“You have no idea how fucking sexy you are.”

Anna maintains eye contact with him as she pulls them down, his own eyes heavy with desire as his throbbing length springs free.

His underwear falls to the floor as she crawls back up to face him, Thomas hissing in pleasure as her wet centre makes contact with his cock, gliding over him easily as she rolls her hips.

He reaches up to gently grasp her by the nape of her neck, levelling their gazes as her nipples meet the skin of his chest.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“Immensely.”

“What do you want, Anna?”

She revels in the shudder that runs through his body as she leans down to whisper in his ear, her tongue teasing the lobe as she goes. “I want you to fuck me senseless.”

He sits them up suddenly, her arms looping around his neck. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

Before she can muster up a response, her back hits the mattress, the sheets cool against the heat radiating from her body.

He’s on his knees before her, hands squeezing and caressing her outer thighs as she places them on his shoulders, eyes hooded as she stares up at him.

“What are you going to do with me?”

He presses a kiss to her inner ankle before lowering her legs to the bed. With a hand on either hip, he flips her onto her stomach effortlessly. Crawling behind her, he licks a hot path up the back of her thigh, between her cheeks and up the length of her spine before wrapping her locks around his hand and tugging. Her back arches as he pulls slightly, his other hand stroking himself as he lines up with her, the head of his cock teasing and nudging at her entrance.

“I’m going to ruin you.”

Any thoughts and chances of a reply are annihilated as he pushes inside of her slowly, her walls pulsing around him as she struggles to adjust to his size, stretching and filling her deliciously.

“Christ, Anna. How are you so fucking-”

His words are caught in his throat as she showcases exactly what he’s thinking. She clenches around him, his free hand falling to her waist as he chokes on a loud moan.

When he’s fully inside, he spreads his legs apart, knees on either side of her as she tightens around him even further. He pulls out nearly completely, slowly but surely, before burying himself to the hilt with one hard plunge.

Anna cries out, hands grasping at the sheets as he finds her spot immediately. Thomas moves deeply yet slowly at first, allowing her to get used to him as he fights to delay his impending release.

Every thrust of his hips shakes her entire frame, the cries falling from her lips like music to his ears. As he starts to pick up his pace, every flex of his hips has her clit catching the sheets, only adding to her intense pleasure.

But she needs more.

He watches her as one hand leaves the white knuckled grip of the bed, falling beneath her as her hips raise and she finds relief in the friction of her fingers. His head drops back with a groan as he realises he can finally go full throttle. He leans down against her, their slick skin pressed closely together.

“You want more, sweetheart?” His breath tickles the back of her neck, hairs standing at full height and every nerve tingling as she nods her head desperately. “Ask me for more.”

He speeds up the movement of his hips, making it near impossible for Anna to appease his wishes. The room is filled with her whimpers and moans, the only other audible note the slap of his hips against her ass.

“Tell me what you want, Anna.”

Still no reply, his hand reaches beneath her, removing her own and taking its place. She cries out, her hand grasping the hair at the nape of his neck as she arches against him.

“Tell me,” he growls as sweat drips down his temple.

“I-”

The fingers rubbing circles against her quicken as another thrust fills her and she’s rendered speechless.

“You want to come, angel? Is that it?”

His thrusts slow as he awaits her answer, the stillness in his movements punishment for him as much as it’s meant for her.

“Please, Thomas. Please let me-”

He doesn’t allow her to finish, her begging so prettily is enough for him to resume his actions and fuck her like a mad man. His body moves relentlessly, pushing her down onto his hand as she grinds against him.

His teeth tug at her ear, his breath hot against her neck as he finally lets her go.

“Come for me, Anna.”

His words push her over the edge and her mouth drops open in a silent scream, her surroundings turning to nothing as all she can focus on is the overwhelming pleasure tensing her entire body.

It could be seconds or hours by the time she reenters full consciousness, but she can feel Thomas still inside her, rock hard and throbbing with need.

He cranes his neck, watching as Sam approaches the bed, his cock standing at full attention again.

Anna winces as she feels Thomas easing out of her, missing the weight of him atop her as he climbs off of her. She turns around, confused by his sudden withdrawal.

“But you didn’t-”

“Birthday boys honour,” he gestures to Sam with a slight smirk before his gaze settles on hers again, stroking himself as he kneels before her. “Now, why don’t you open wide for me sweetheart?”

He falls back onto his haunches as he settles in line with Anna’s luscious mouth, all too eager to take him in and do whatever he likes.

She wets her lips as she takes him in her hand, her throat dry from hanging open as Thomas fucked her into oblivion.

They both rise onto their knees as she braces herself on one hand. He groans loudly as her lips wrap around him and she moans against him, tasting herself as she takes him in deeper.

Her jaw falls slack around him as she feels Sam’s hands stroking the length of her body.

“Are you ready for me, princess?”

She nods but decides it’s not enough to accurately convey just how much she wants this. She releases Thomas momentarily, only long enough to answer Sam before her mouth is back working its magic.

“Give it to me, Sam. I want to feel all of you.”

Her eyes shut tightly as he guides himself into her, her drenched core making the task effortless even as she flutters around him. Her mind goes hazy with pleasure as she hears Sam moaning loudly behind her.

She moans against Thomas as she feels Sam begin to move, taking it easy as her oversensitized body trembles.

His hands take hold of her hips, using them as leverage as he begins to move quicker. His voice drips with need as he mumbles in awe.

“Look at you taking both of us so well. Do you like getting fucked by us, Anna?”

All she can do is whine as his thrusts become more urgent, his moans picking up volume as he plunges into her again and again.

She opens her eyes to look up at Thomas, his muscles taut as his hands pull her hair away from her face. She can sense he’s close by way the muscles of his abdomen ripple under her touch and she pulls back to whisper against him.

“Fuck my mouth, Thomas.”

He gives a timid thrust and feels himself hit the back of her throat. Looking down to search Anna’s face for any sign of distress, she grabs him from behind, urging him to move against her.

His icy eyes stare down at her in disbelief, a string of curses filling the room as he picks up speed. A guttural groan leaves his lips as he hurtles towards the edge, her mouth taking all of him over and over again.

Anna moans against him as Sam drives into her with purpose, his hands reaching out to cup her breasts and massage them in his large palms.

It’s only seconds before Thomas feels his release approaching, and he manages to choke out a warning before he comes hard, filling her mouth as the weight of his climax takes the breath out of his lungs.

He rises onto weak legs, treading to the master bathroom as he leaves Sam to reach his own peak.

Sam slows his pace and doesn’t allow Anna the time to question his motives, turning her onto her back without fully pulling out, before slamming into her again and again from the new angle.

He takes both of her hands in his, interlacing their fingers as he presses his forehead against hers.

“I need to see you.”

She moans at that, her orgasm closer than ever as she brings her hips up to meet him.

He releases one hand as the other takes hold of it, falling to the small of her back and lifting her hips fully off the bed.

He grunts as he chases his climax, brows furrowed as he holds back purely to bring Anna there first.

“Whose pussy is this?”

Her voice is laboured as she fights the urge to close her eyes, instead entering a stare with Sam as she whines in pleasure.

“It’s yours. It’s always yours,” she admits in a whimper that only further fuels his desire.

Their lips meet in a frenzy, teeth clashing and tongues dangling as they both move wildly against another, desperate to feel the other come with them.

Sam feels Anna clenching around him as her fingernails dig into his hand, her moans getting louder and louder until her back arches off the bed.

“That’s it, Anna. Let me feel you come all over my cock.”

Her body thrashes as she comes, Sam’s praise in her ear prolonging her moment of ecstasy. He soon follows after her, pulling her tightly into him with a hoarse groan.

She fights to catch her breath as she feels Sam move off of her, and the last thing she remembers is a lukewarm cloth cleaning her gently before she falls into a satisfied slumber.

~~~~~~~~

Anna is pulled from her rest suddenly, grimacing in pain as she stretches her arms above her ahead and then smiling to herself as she recalls the cause of her aching body.

She feels a warm weight resting atop her and looks down to see Sam’s arm resting comfortably across her waist. His head is facing her, face peaceful as his breath tickles her skin.

She shakes her head with a silent laugh, giddy with herself for finally bedding Sam after weeks of palpable tension. She sits up quietly, noticing Thomas’ absence and looking around the room for any trace of his belongings.

When she finds none, she surmises he probably went back to his guest room after they were done, and her brows knit together in thought as she wonders what time it is.

She eases out of the bed discreetly, attempting to not wake Sam as she retreats to her own room. The last thing she wants is the twins bursting into her empty room in the morning, or worse: bursting into their father’s room where he lies naked with the nanny.

She throws on Sam’s dress shirt and walks to her bedroom slowly, wincing slightly at the pain between her legs as she moves. She startles as she hears a noise coming from the kitchen, unaware of the time but sure enough it’s the middle of the night.

As she walks into the kitchen, she’s met with the sight of Thomas’ broad and unclothed back as he searches in the fridge. She stares at him for a moment, her light footsteps letting her walk in unnoticed. His hair is disheveled and pyjama pants hang low on his hips, so she allows herself another heated glimpse before announcing her presence.

“Work up an appetite?”

He turns at the sound of her voice, deeper as she still comes out of her dream-like state. She can see his face flush from this distance anyway, no doubt remembering their activities only a few hours prior as his gaze struggles to stay on her face.

She can’t resist the thought of how utterly adorable he looks, shy to even come face to face with her after he’d prompted her to sit on that face only a few hours ago.

“Got hungry when I woke up for the little boy’s room,” he chuckles. “You’ll get that too when you’re a pensioner like us.”

He earns a crooked eyebrow at that, Anna resisting the urge to remark you certainly don’t act like a pensioner.

She smiles before she speaks. “Just don’t be eating the boys waffles, I promised them that they could have them for breakfast with Luz in the morning.”

“Understood.” He forces a serious expression onto his face. “I’ve learned to never come in between Luz and her food if I want to keep both arms, a trait she picked up from her mother.”

She watches as he smiles sadly, almost privately to himself as his eyes grow distant. She stands there silently, unwilling to break Thomas out of his thoughts and allowing him however much time he needs.

“Sorry,” he shakes himself out of it. “I don’t mean to depress you.”

“Don’t be silly, Thomas.” She reaches out to place her hand on his arm, caressing as she encourages him. “It must be so difficult, and you don’t seem to speak much about her.”

“Not so much anymore,” he agrees. “Sometimes it’s easier not to. I need to learn to let go of my rage at what happened and I can’t do that if I constantly think about the past. It won’t bring her back; all it will do is make me a bad father and I can’t risk that. I’m all Luz has now and she needs me to be the best I can be as I play both roles. Her needs come before everything else.”

“I know what you mean. That’s exactly how Sam feels.” She swallows over the lump in her throat as she shakes her head. “It’s terrible that both of you had to go through this.”

His expression is almost pained as he agrees. “It is awfully tragic that two close friends have had to go through this at our age. The only takeaway is being able to support each other through similar struggles.”

“It must have brought you two closer.”

“It did.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing, Thomas. I can tell how much Luz adores you.” Their eyes meet at that, his eyes sparkling as he takes in her words.

“Thank you, Anna. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

His hand covers hers placed on his arm and he intertwines their fingers, resting them on his bare chest.

“Plus, if you ever do need a break, I know a nanny that loves your kid and would be more than happy to take her off your hands for a weekend.”

“You’d really do that for us?”

“Of course I would… as long as a certain lawyer comes to see me when he picks her up.”

He chuckles heartily, shaking his head in fondness.

“You’re something else, Anna, you know that?”

Her eyes crinkle as she grins at him, “I try.”

He reaches out tenderly to brush a stray lock of hair behind her eyes, leaving his hand resting on her cheek.

“You don’t know how much I wish…”

He breaks off as he forces himself to stop what he’s saying.

“What is it, Thomas?”

You don’t know how much I wish I’d met you first.

The warmth of his hand on her skin radiates through her body like fire. Time seems to stop, both of them holding their breath, as their gazes lock.

She turns her head slowly, placing a hot kiss to his palm and he needs to stop himself from moaning aloud.

It’s still tonight.

Thomas’ breath catches for the briefest moment of hesitation before whatever doubts he had leave his eyes, and he surges forward to press his lips to hers.

His teeth scrape against her bottom lip, one hand buried in her hair, the other gripping her waist. Her lips part for his tongue.

She lets out a moan as Thomas slowly backs her against the countertop, urging her closer. His hands come under her thighs and he hoists her up. She wraps her legs around his waist, and her arms encircle his neck as she slides back on the smooth surface.

His breath is rough on her neck as he trails kisses up and across her jaw. “Is this alright?”

“This is perfect.”

She trails one hand down Thomas’ back, feeling the warmth of his skin, before encouraging him closer with her heels digging into his ass.

He leaves a whisper of a kiss in the hollow just below her earlobe and whispers in her ear.

“I could barely sleep for thinking about you tonight.” He pants as he rolls his hips against her, his length straining against his pants as he presses into her.

“What-”

She arches her head back as he kisses down her neck, heat blossoming on every patch of skin his lips meet, and she reaches up to tangle one hand in his hair.

“What about me?”

He pulls down the sleeves of the shirt, easily done as it hangs off of her, edging them over her shoulders as his mouth rains fire against every inch of her bare skin. He pulls it down further, his eyes growing heavy as he cups her full breasts and circles her nipples with his thumbs. Her head drops back with a gasp as his lips leave a hot trail of wet kisses over the rise of her breasts. Her hands fall to his thick hair as he latches onto her hardening pink buds, biting softly before soothing them with his tongue as she lets out a whimper.

“About those pretty noises you make for me.”

She gently tugs his face upward to bring their lips together again, hungry, searching.

He gasps from the fervour of her kisses, crushing her against him with shaking hands, his breaths quick and hot against her skin.

His hands push up the hem of the shirt, bunching it around her waist and he chokes on a groan as he realises she failed to put her panties back on.

He strokes two fingers up the inside of her thigh and through her centre, pleased to find her wet and ready for him again.

“And if you really taste as sweet as I remember.”

He withdraws his hand, lifting it to his lips as he maintains eye contact with her and sucks on his glistening digits.

“W-well?”

He smirks as he pulls her by her knees to the edge of the surface, her bare chest now tight against his. “Even better.”

She crushes her lips to his in a bruising kiss, her need for him frantic as she works her arms out of her shirt completely and throws them around his shoulders.

“I need you.”

He pushes his pants down urgently, sitting below his hips as his cock springs free. He bends down slightly, foreheads coming together as he sinks inside of her slowly.

She lets out a sigh as she lifts her hips to take him in, her fingernails digging crescents into his skin as she works through the tenderness from their escapades only hours before.

“Relax, sweetheart. You can take it, I know you can.”

He reaches up to cradle her head in one hand, the other on the small of her back as he holds her in place and begins to move.

The energy in the air feels different as he keeps his pace unhurried and languid, a more intimate connection brewing between them as his hips meet hers time and time again.

Soon enough, her desperation gets the best of her and she urges him to go faster, her body rattling as he pounds into her.

One particular deep thrust has her on the cusp of a scream, and Thomas reaches up to cover her mouth as he huffs out a laugh.

“As much as I enjoy you screaming my name, you need to be quiet for this one.”

His eyes roll back as she bites into his palm, eyes locked on him as she stifles the lusty moan bubbling in her throat.

Her breath comes in shaky gasps as she feels her orgasm near, and he moves more intently as he recognises it too. “Are you going to come for me, Anna? You’ve been such a good girl. You deserve it.”

His words push her over the edge and her body tenses as she comes, the rhythmic clenching of her pulling Thomas over with her. He clings to her tightly as he lets out a deep grunt, burying his face in her shoulder to stop himself from crying out.

His heart races as he pulls out of her slowly, his length softening as he keeps one arm around her, the other pulling his pants up.

He takes one look at her and can see the blissful exhaustion seeping through her bones, so he bends to extend an arm beneath her knees and takes her in his arms, deciding on the way whose room he’s going to carry her to.

~~~~~~~~

“Anna! Are you ready? The bridal boutique is holding this appointment for us!”

Sofia’s shrill voice brings Anna back to present day as her head snaps in the direction of her closed bedroom door.

“Just a minute!”

She scrambles onto her feet and rushes over to the vanity in her bedroom at the Italian villa, looking in the mirror and attempting to wipe the streaks from under her eyes even as new tears cling to her lashes.

Her hand aches and her eyebrows knit together before she looks down to see the item still in a vice-like grip between her fingers. She slowly releases it, placing it on the tabletop as she breathes like she’s run a marathon.

Two pink lines agonise her before she meets her reflection in the mirror, a broken woman on the cusp of devastation staring back at her unrecognisable face.

Fuck.

~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note II: I had a full other ending written out and changed this at the last minute lol. So… who do you think the daddy is? 💀

Tagging perma and TNA: @charlotteg234 @queenrileyrose @forallthatitsworth @ao719 @burnsoslow @mia143 @stateofgracious @mainstreetreader @emkay512 @jerzwriter @lsvdw-blog @chemist-ana @txemrn @thefrenchiemama @thenannyaffair-fanfics

#happy birthday anitah!#choices #choices tna #choices moty #the nanny affair #mother of the year #sam dalton x mc #sam x mc #thomas mendez x mc #thomas x mc #sam dalton #thomas mendez #invasion of privacy #my writing #ns*w #kt tries to write

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