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wwilsonbarness · 11 months

Text

sweetie

pairings: dbf!bucky x y/n reader

summary: after yet another failed date your dad’s best friend Bucky cheers you up..

warnings: smut 18+ only (unprotected sex, oraL (M & F receiving), fingering, creampie, cockwarming, praise kink, safe word(mentioned not used), innocence kink), age gap (reader is early twenties, bucky is mid 40’s), use of pet names, swearing, body shaming (not from reader or bucky), insecure thoughts (reader) - let me know if I missed any :)

word count: 4092

a/n: I’m a slut for dbf!bucky so I had to use him for my first time writing smut🤭 go easy on me please i tried😭

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

masterlist

“Y/n?”

“Yeah! Hey, Ryan right?” He just nodded and sat opposite you, clearly not caring he had shown up 20 minutes late. .

“You’re not what I expected” he tried to play it off with a chuckle but you just looked at him in shock, completely confused.

“What were you expecting?”

“Someone a little.. you know” he pauses for a moment and looks you up and down before continuing, “it doesn’t matter” Before you could question what he meant you hear a familiar voice come from behind you.

“Y/n, how are you sweetheart?” As you go to turn your head you feel a cold hand on your shoulder, instantly telling you who was there.

“Buck! What are you doing here?”

“I’m picking up some dinner on the way home from work, just spotted you two over here and thought I’d say hi” He looks over at your date with a slight smile. Bucky had always been protective over you, ever since he started working with your dad, he’d always be over at your house for some reason or another, but you’d never complain. You’ve secretly been crushing on him for a while now, there was just something about him that you loved, not to mention he was the hottest guy you’ve ever seen.

“Oh right, sorry! This is Ryan, my date” You point your hand towards him, “Ryan, this is Bucky, one of my dad’s friends” Ryan stands up and holds his hand out waiting for Bucky to shake it.

“Nice to meet you Bucky” So he doesn’t lack all respect it seems.

“Call me James” He tightly squeezes Ryan’s hand, maybe too hard as Ryan tries to pull away slightly. You couldn’t help the blush creeping up onto your face. Bucky only introduced himself as James to people he didn’t like, come to think of it you had only heard him introduce himself as James a few times. Once when you brought a boy home in your first year of college, to the creepy neighbours who moved into your street whilst Bucky was over for dinner and one of his colleague’s. He must have a good judge of character because all of those people turned out to be total dicks.

“Well, I won’t take up any more of your time, have a good night you two” He leans down to give you a hug, and whispers into your ear, just loud enough so Ryan can hear. “See you later sweetheart” He turns to Ryan and nods before leaving. You feel your mood drop as he walks away, you were sad that he was leaving, especially with it meaning you were stuck with your sad excuse for a date. You pick up the menu and go to ask what he’s thinking of getting before the waitress interrupts.

“Ready to order?” Before you can respond asking for an extra few minutes Ryan answers for you.

“I’ll have the pasta special and she’ll have the chicken salad.'' You shoot him a confused look, similar to the look the waitress is giving you both. You couldn’t believe he was ordering for you, and ordering you a salad at that. God, you could not wait for this night to be over already.

Surprisingly the conversation from there wasn’t that bad, he asked you about your job to which you explained the recent job you’d gotten as an elementary school teacher. Things were looking up until your food arrived. “I hope you didn’t mind me ordering for you, salad is always a safe choice, you know?”

“Do you have a problem with how I look or something?” He didn’t even seem shocked or embarrassed when you asked.

“I’ve just never dated someone as big as you”

“what?” Was he serious right now? You’d gained a little weight recently due to stress eating but you didn’t think other people would notice, or point it out.

“Do you not think you could lose a few pounds? You’d look so much better, especially with a dress like that on.” You could feel the tears forming in your eyes as he spoke, little droplets gathering on your eyelashes. You tried to stop your voice from shaking before answering him.

“I don’t think this is gonna work out”

He rolls his eyes and scoffs. “God. Women are so sensitive these days” You didn’t want to show him how he was affecting you so you grab your jacket and walk out without looking back. You’re only outside for a couple minutes before you hear that voice again, along with a car horn. You lift your head up and see Bucky parked just ahead of you.

“You okay sweets?”

“Buck, you’re still here?” you begin to walk towards him.

“Mhm, food took a while to come out. What’s wrong, are you okay?”

You quickly wiped away the tears that were rolling down your cheeks “I’m fine, just wanna get home”

“Hop in, I’ll give you a ride home”

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna-“

“Don’t be silly, you know I don’t mind” you force a small smile out before making your way to the passenger side.

“How was your date?” You turn to him with a look that makes it clear it was not a good time.

“He was an ass” His gaze softens on you and he puts his hand onto your thigh and rubs circles over it with his thumb.

“I knew it” He notices you trying to smile and softens his tone, “I’m sorry sweetie, come on I’ll take you home”

“Thank you” He softly squeezes your thigh before moving his hand to focus on driving you home. You missed his touch already, it made you feel safe like you had someone who cared but it also excited you, making your body heat up. You quickly threw that idea out, he was your dads best friend, he would never think of you that way.

Your apartment isn’t far away, the car journey only lasts around 10 minutes. It was a mostly quiet car ride, Bucky didn’t try and make you open up about your date but he was worried, you seemed really upset with whatever had happened. “Are you sure you're okay?”

You tried to answer without letting your shaky voice show but you failed, “I just wanna get in and get changed out of this dress” You rub your hands over your dress to try and make yourself look better, you couldn’t help but think you looked bad after Ryan spoke about you like that. When Bucky parks outside your apartment you sit in silence for a moment, you didn’t want to get out because it meant Bucky would be leaving you. “Do you want to bring your food in? It’ll be cold by the time you get back to yours”

“That would be great, if you don’t mind”

“Course not Buck” You both get out and walk up to your door. Bucky noticed you playing with your dress on the way, “you look real pretty in that dress” You turned to him as he spoke to you, surprised with what he said.

“Really? I thought I liked it too but, I, I don’t know” you trailed off slowly.

“Whatever that asshole said to you, don’t listen to him. You look great”

“Thank you Buck but you really don’t have to say that”

“I mean it sweetheart, you look gorgeous” You smile up at him, a little less forced this time. It takes you a minute to compose yourself and find your keys but you finally manage to unlock the door.

“Sit down, I’ll get you a plate”

“Bring two” he shouts through from the couch to your kitchen.

“Okayy” you're slightly confused but take two plates out the cupboard along with two beers from the fridge, “but why do you need two?”

“So you can have some” you weren’t in the restaurant too long, did you eat anything?”

You were tempted to pretend you weren’t hungry but you really were starving. “Is there enough to share? I left before I could eat my salad”

“Salad? you went to an italian restaurant and ordered salad?" Bucky laughed.

“He ordered for me” Bucky stopped laughing as soon as the words left your mouth, and he started shaking his head.

“What a dick, here” he unpacks his bag of food and lays them on the table in front of you both. “help yourself to as much as you like, lucky for you my eyes are too big for my belly”

“So where'd you find this guy anyway?”

You sat on the sofa for an hour or so and explained the whole story, including everything that happened on the date. By the end of it Bucky was angry, angrier than you’d ever seen him. He pulls his hand up to your face and cups your cheek, “Don’t let some boy make you feel insecure, you don’t need to change for anyone, and anyone would be lucky to have you”

No one had ever spoken to you with such kind words and you could feel the tears forming again, you tried to play it off. You were embarrassed for being so emotional. “I’m sorry, just no one ever speaks about me like that”

“You deserve to hear it everyday, and I really mean that”

“Thank you buck, and thank you for sharing your food.”

“Anytime sweetie”

“I’m gonna go get changed and then I’ll clean this up okay?”

“Sure, take your time”

Only a couple minutes pass before Bucky hears you calling his name from your bedroom.

“Y/n? are you alright” worry had set in fast, faster than it probably should’ve but he cared about you alot. he practically ran through, only stopping when he walked into you.

“Where's the fire jesus” he puts his hands on your shoulders to try and steady you both.

“I heard you calling my name, are you alright?” you couldn’t help but smile at his concern for you, it was nice to have someone who cared for you.

“I’m okay, my hair’s just stuck in my zip, can you help me with it?” you reply as you walk back into your room, Bucky following you close behind.

“Yeah, come here” you turn your back to him and lift your hair that isn’t stuck out of the way”

“We might just have to cut it off” you playfully slapped his arm.

“You wouldn’t dare” he places his hands to your hair and begins to work its way out, the touch of his fingers sends shivers all over you, you try to stifle the moan you make but you can tell you failed.

“I'm just kidding don’t worry, there you go that should be it out” he says but he doesn’t move his hands. instead he turns you around and looks into your eyes. “You really are beautiful, especially in this dress” he loves to lean into your neck and whispers quietly, “even if I would prefer to see it on the floor” Yet again you couldn’t stop the blush appearing onto your cheeks, did he really say that?

You pull your head back a bit, Bucky starts to think he made you uncomfortable but it was quite the opposite, you pull his face towards you and push your lips together, it was a deep kiss, slow with an intensity you hadn’t felt before. You begin to pull away slowly, scared of overstepping but he pulls you back up against him, his hand cupping your hair, not too tight so you could pull away if you wanted to. His lips were soft, different to what you expected but it felt good. He pulls away slightly, but you can feel his grin against you.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that” he says whilst catching his breath.

“Really?” he hums in agreement. “What else did you want to do?” you feel his grin grow even more. He pushes you back a bit towards your bed and you follow him.

“You sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure Bucky, please”

“Just say red if you want to stop, okay?” you nod your answer. “I need words sweetie”

“Yes buck”

“Good girl” you can feel your panties getting wetter the more he talks to you, you desperately need him to touch you.

“Bucky please” he could hear the desperation in your voice and it made him laugh, he loved having this effect on you.

“What do you want, sweetheart? tell me what you want me to do to you” You got shy all of a sudden and it took a minute to find your words.

“I want you to touch me” Bucky trails his hand down your body and stops between your legs.

“Here?” he rubs circles over your clit through your dress making you moan and grab into his shoulder.

“Fuck.. please Bucky” he takes his hand away, you pout up at him.

“Take off your dress. and lie down” you do as he says, as he watches you with a grin on his face. It doesn’t take you long before you're laying down and Bucky crawls on top of you. He starts to kiss your neck, slowly making his way down to your breasts. “Can I leave this on?” he asks pointing to your bra, you just nod. Thank god you chose this lingerie set today. “You look so sexy in it, making me so hard baby” You let out a little laugh at him,”You’ve gone all shy on me sweets”

“I'm sorry” Bucky shakes his head.

“Don’t apologise, it’s cute” He continues kissing you slowly, stopping when gets to the band of your panties. He begins to slowly take them off, “still okay?”

“Yes, please buck. I need you” you whisper to him.

He throws your panties onto the floor and opens your legs, biting his lips as he sees your pussy glistening in front of him. “Such a pretty pussy”

He lowers his head down and licks his lips before rubbing his fingers over your pussy, collecting the slick already gathered there. He brings his fingers up to his mouth and slowly licks them. “You taste so sweet baby” you feel your cheeks flush at his compliments, “Sweetest thing I ever tasted” he speaks before lowering his head back down.

He presses his finger to your clit and pushes down a little, making you whimper. “Bucky please” you try to roll your hips up to get him closer to you. “Please buck i need you”

He doesn’t say anything but in the next second you feel his tongue against you. “Fuck Bucky” it was so much better than you were expecting.

“Aw sweets, you're so wet. Is this all for me?” you nod again, biting your lip. He had hardly touched you and you already felt better than you ever have with anyone else.

You tried to close your legs to escape the overwhelming feeling but Bucky pushed them open again and looked up to you. this was something you’d dreamt of seeing, having him looking up to you from between your legs. you couldn’t believe this was really happening.

“Gotta keep them open baby, so I can make you feel good” you nod down at him, as you nod he teases his finger around your pussy making you throw your head back.

He lowers his head again and brings his tongue to your clit and begins to roll his tongue over it. You start to move around, the feeling is too much, he lifts his arm up to your stomach and presses down slightly to stop you from squirming. He uses his other hand to tease your pussy, “Fuck, your so tight sweetie”, he lifts himself up a little and brings his hand to your mouth and holds out two fingers. “Spit on them” you hesitate at first before dropping your spit onto them.

When he gets back done to your legs he lightly blows on your clit, making you moan out. He begins to tease your hole and starts putting one finger in, slowly, “Fuck, i can’t wait to get my cock in you baby, your so tight” he pushes his finger in and out slowly a few times before adding in another. You can’t help the moan that leaves your lips. you don’t care how loud you’re being, it feels too good.You could feel the ache in your pussy getting stronger, your orgasm fast approaching, you’d never come this fast before.

“Bucky, please don’t stop” he doesn’t stop, he speeds his fingers up feeling you tightening around them. “Oh.. Fuck. Bucky please I'm gonna- I’m gonna come. Don’t stop” you throw your hands around you, grabbing onto the covers and squeezing them as hard as you can.

“Come for me baby” a few more thrusts of his fingers and you come, your eyes roll back, your orgasm leaving you whimpering, Bucky drops his head down and licks your come. “How do you feel sweetie?”

“Good” is all you can manage, still trying to catch your breath.

“You did so good baby” he crawls back up to you and plants a kiss on your lips, you can taste yourself on him. You feel his cock through his jeans touching your stomach and reach down for it.

“Bucky?” you ask shyly.

“Yeah baby?” he pushes your hair out of your face and cups your cheek.

“Can I touch you?” you slightly squeeze his bulge as you ask, batting your eyelashes up at him.

He chuckles a little at how shy you are. “Of course you can sweets” he lays down beside you and guides you to sit up beside him. you start to unzip his jeans pull them down before he lifts his hips up making it easier for you to remove his clothes. When his jeans are off you see his cock jump up, it was a lot bigger than you had ever seen before. nerves started to slowly set in, what if you couldn’t make him feel as good as he made you?

It was as if Bucky could read your mind, he saw the concern in your eyes and started to reassure you. “Sweetie, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to”

“I want to” you reply quickly before quieting down and slowly continuing “I just don’t know if it will be as good as you made me feel, I don’t wanna disappoint you”

“You could never disappoint me baby, I'll help you if you need it okay?” you nod your head, and trail your fingers up his thighs before reaching for him. You grab the base of his cock, your hand doesn’t reach around it fully so you bring your other hand beside it. “Fuck baby, that already feels so good” his praise gave you a bit more confidence. Quickly gathering some spit in your mouth, you drop it down onto the tip of his cock, and use your thumb to rub circles over it. He was feeling so sensitive he couldn’t stop his groans leaving him, “fuck Y/N, keep doing that” you did just that, whilst your other hand slowly rubs up and down his cock.

“Can I put it in my mouth?” Bucky's a bit taken aback by your sudden confidence but he doesn’t hesitate to answer.

“Please do” you move closer to him and settle between his legs, you lower your head down and lick his tip gently before bringing your tongue down to the base and working your way back up slowly. “Fuck, baby you keep doing that and your gonna make me come.” His praise was making your cheeks flush and he noticed, so he kept going. “Baby you're doing so good, it feels so. fuck. so good” You begin to put his cock in your mouth, going as far down as you could before bobbing your head up and down. Bucky places his hand on your head and slightly pushes your head down further, “fuck sweetheart, your gonna make me come.”

You speed up, wrapping your hands around his shaft where your mouth can’t reach, Bucky was moaning and whining loudly beside you, his breathing was speeding up. You could tell he was about to come, you wanted him to come in your mouth, you needed to taste him.

“Baby, I’m gonna come, oh god I’m gonna come” he expected you to pull away from him but you keep going until his come shoots down your throat. “Fuck baby, fuck that was good” you look up to him, come dripping out your mouth and smile. “You look so pretty covered in my come sweetheart” He smirks at you, making you blush yet again. You use your finger to collect the come dripping out your mouth and suck on it, which makes Bucky’s cock twitch.

You look down and see that he’s still hard, so you crawl up to him and whisper into his ear “could you fuck me?” so quietly he hardly hears you.

“Sweetie you gotta speak up” you pout at him, but repeat yourself. You could feel your pussy throbbing, you needed him inside you.

“I want you to fuck me Bucky, please” He turns to you

“Lie down” you immediately do as he says. “I’m gonna fuck you like the good, dirty girl you are” he grabs his cock and stroked himself a couple times to get it ready for you. “Remember to use the safe word if you need me to stop okay?”

“I remember, but please just fuck me. I need you” he brings his cock to your pussy, pushing just the tip in. “Go slow please, you're bigger than I’ve ever had” Bucky felt a hint of jealousy over the thought of anyone else being inside you but he pushed it aside and focused on you.

“I’ll be gentle don’t worry sweetheart” He brings his tip out and pushes slowly back in a couple times, letting you adjust to him. When it becomes easier he goes in deeper, nearly halfway in. You moan in the mix of pain and pleasure, he was stretching

you but it felt good.

“Fuck Bucky, you feel so good, keep going please” He pushes in further, rubbing circles over your clit as he does, making it easier for him to fit inside you.

“Shit baby, you're so tight. squeezing my cock so good” He hadn’t even fucked you properly yet and you could already feel your orgasm coming close.

“Bucky fuck me please, just fuck me” he bottoms out inside of you, hitting a spot you didn’t even realise existed within you. “OH my god Bucky, keep going. please. It feels so good”

“Such a good girl for me, taking my whole cock” your moans make him fuck you harder, chasing the release he so desperately needed “So good sweets, you feel so good”

“Fuck, Bucky. duck me harder please Bucky”

“You want more?” he thrusts into you harder as he says each word. “Fuck, you’re gonna milk my cock” you can feel your orgasm coming at you with full force.

“Buck I’m gonna -fuck I’m gonna come, don’t stop please”

“Aw baby you gonna come all over my cock?” you nod your head, unable to form words at this point “oh fuck. you're squeezing me so tight I’m gonna come. You want me to come inside you? Want me to fill you up?”

You nod quickly, trying to bring yourself to speak. “Please, please Bucky come inside me please”

“Always using your manners, sweets, even when you're so drunk on my cock hmm?” You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him towards you.

“Bucky please” you were desperate for your release at this point. He lifts your hands and puts them either side of you, each of his hands pinning yours down and towering himself over you.

“Oh fuck. Come with me baby. Come with me” He’s thrusting into you so hard, hitting that spot again and again. Your legs begin to shake as your orgasm crashes through you. “Fuckk.. Oh my god Bucky”

“So. Fucking. Good.” he replies, just as his cock crashes into your pussy. “You milked me so good, such a good girl baby”

Bucky goes to pull out of you but you stop him, “stay like this please? Just for a little bit”

He cuddles into you as close as he can without moving out of you, and places a kiss on your forehead.

“Anything for you sweetheart”

#wwilsonbarness #sweetie #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #buckybarnes x y/n #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #marvel #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fan fiction #sebastian stan #bucky barnes fanfic

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thelunarsystemwrites · 2 months

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Inviting other artists!

So I've just made a superhero AU for utmv. Right? Well, I really only wanted to design one guy, Lust. Sooo I'm opening the AU (WHICH LITERALLY HAS NO LORE YET SO NO WORRIES) for others to partake in!

Here's like, the basic lay out.

Choose one Sans AU to turn into superhero/villain. Please refrain from using a Sans someone else claimed.

Make them into a superhero/villain themed after something specific. (Example: A plant themed superhero, or even a cactus one!)

Keep powers balanced with weaknesses, please make them relate to their theme!

Give them a civilian identity! You don't have to draw this one, but make sure to mention their civil job and name!

Give them a Superhero/Villain name as well!

Wait, supervillain?

OH YES! You can choose the mortal alignment of your claimed Sans! Super hero, villain, neutral, vigilante? Just pick whatever you want!

Of course headcanons are welcome, it's Canon to YOUR design! Make them trans, gay, autistic, whatever! (Human designs are allowed too!)

Wait.. what do I (the artist reading this) Even get out of doing this?

Well I'll tell you! For one, its a fun artist challenge where you personalize and create a whole new hero/Villain to your preferences!

You also get to imagine their lore, and incorporate their personality into the story! They'd all be canon part of the AU. (Note: if someone claimed a sans first and you did it anyways, yours wouldn't be Canon unless issues occurred with the OG/they gave you permission.)

I dunno, I just wanna make an AU with a ton of people, ya know? I think it's be fun for us to work together on this.

CLAIMED LIST:

Lust: Hero. Complete. By @thelunarsystemwrites.

Reaper: Vigilante. Completed by @solusminds.

Outer: Vigilante. Complete by @dzasterdumpterfire

Ink: Retired Hero. Complete by @lix88888

Error: Supervillain. Complete by @its-paperd

Dust: Claimed by @billygoat26

Farmer: Claimed by @absurdumsid

Cross: Claimed by @weirdest-worlds

Geno: Claimed by @eldritchcats

Shattered: Claimed by @genderfluidyellowocto

Nightmare: Supervillain. Completed by @analexthatexists

Killer: Claimed by @a-menacetosociety

Dream (and core frisk): Claimed by @thenocturnenarrator

Blue: Superhero, complete by @createbellatheartist

Fell: Supervillain, complete @underrrtaleee-freakk

Quantum: Superhero. Completed by @nashdoesstuff (Also made an OC for the AU, Dreamshade! Superhero.)

Horror: Neutral Evil. Completed by @it-came-from-mount-ebott

Ccino: Claimed by @some-aroace-chaos

Fresh: Claimed by @nightmareishomophobic

Die sans: Claimed by @dustsansm1

Bill: Supervillain. Completed by @endless-emptyness (OC Nanno made by sane person!)

Epic: Claimed by @dtdrawz

Fatal error: Claimed by @spookyboris2

Swan: Claimed by @glitching-moon

Sci: Claimed by @joonebugg

Dance: Claimed by @dv-reblogs

Swad: Claimed by @shinanigans-art

Littletale: Claimed by @somehhuuuhh

Possession: Claimed by @b0nerific-individual

Alter: Claimed by @annabel184

Paperjam: Vigilante. Completed by @papple

Decadent society: Supervillain. Complete by @supper122

Green Sans: Claimed by @xxcross-is-a-helicopterxx

Roulette: Claimed by @ant1quarian

On the claimed list, if you claim a Sans (By commenting or reblogging saying "Dibs Blank!" Or "Can I do blank?" Etc! I'll add it on the List saying: "Sans: Claimed by User"

Once it's made, please tag me so I can see! Then I'll update it to "Sans: Moral alignment. By User." And link it on this post! [Please only claim one, we want enough to go around! However you can claim variations! So one person could make dream, another could make shattered!]

[Note I do not claim any ownership over your designs for the AU, nor will I use your design w/o permission.]

With all that said! Anyone interested? [And hey, if you're not interested? It's okay to just not join. Or ignore this!]

Asks! (Questions regarding the AU!)

Can we make our own lore woth other characters?

Secondary claims?

Only two grabs?

Can we have OCs?

Can we use our own AUs?

#Superhero AU #undertale au #alternate universe #undertale alternate timeline #Utmv #underlust #undertale #Aus #Art #If anyone wants to join in just lemme know!#Utmv superhero au

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lovemyromance · 2 months

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SJM doesn't write her men as fuckbois, end of argument. This is romantasy, this is not real life situationships.

She writes her men as prideful beings, unwilling to kneel for anyone but their woman.

She writes her men as desperate for their female counterparts, willing to wait centuries to even earn a second glance.

So this concept of "Oh, Azriel & Elain don't actually want each other, they're just trying to blow off steam." Is ridiculous.

Regardless of their past, their background, the second they meet their love interest they fall in line and are head over heels for that ONE woman. It's not finicky love. It didn't just pass over the course of 2 pages.

SJM empowers the women more and gives them previous love interests. Feyre had Tamlin & Isaac Hale. Nesta had half of the seedy bar crowd in Velaris (no shade, go off city girl) & Tomas Mandray. Elain had Graysen.

You know what their past flings didn't get?

A POV.

We never got a POV from Tamlin, despite him being a main character and love interest in ACOTAR. We didn't get a POV from Tomas or random dude in Nesta's apartment. We didn't get a POV from Graysen.

You know which MMCs did get a POV?

Rhysand.

Cassian.

Azriel.

That in itself should be enough evidence that whatever happening between Elriel isn't just a fling, as the antis try to make it out to be.

Rhysand got a POV when he was endgame with Feyre. Cassian got a POV before he was endgame with Nesta. Now Azriel gets a POV, and there's only one sister left....

Why would SJM give Azriel a whole POV otherwise? Why not just tell it from Elain's POV?

And no it's not because that would reveal how much she apparently secretly loves Lucien while she's ready to drop her panties for Shadow Boy

That bonus chapter in ACOSF was not just SJM being in a silly goofy mood and deciding to write fuckboy Az as a new part of the story.

Also - all these people clamoring "wELL hAvE yOu rEaD tHe aZrIeL bOnUs cHaPtER?" They're just trynna use each other - Have YOU read the bonus chapter?

What part of that longing and tension and pining gave you lust and incel behavior? This man feels so undeserving of her, he thinks even touching her is to taint her goodness.

That shit poetic af.

He's out here being Azriel Allen Poe, describing her hair like dawn and begging on his knees to taste her and y'all are out here thinking "nah, they're just a fling."

Do you spout poetry and are tortured every waking moment with the love you hold for your situationship? If so - I don't think they're a situationship anymore bestie.

And Elain also wanted his hands on her. The antis trying to spin "oh she was indifferent to it, she could have been fine with or without him" is so ridiculous because literally she says yes. OFFER AND PERMISSION. She is aroused when he touches her NECK. Like come on, how down bad do you have to be for someone to get turned on when they touch your NECK. And, on top of that, she feels hurt when Azriel says this is a mistake.

Would someone only trynna get laid feel hurt over that? Would they avoid the other person after if they just wanted to blow off steam? No. She wanted Azriel just as badly. And anyone who tries to say otherwise, is just flat out not reading the words on the page.

When will Eluciens & Gwynriels quit trying to cheapen what is canon in order to make their ships work? SJM doesn't write fuckboi men. That's not up for debate.

And the fact that they'd rather have Az be using Elain (or I vice versa) for sex than actually hold feelings for her says a lot.

#elriel #azriel #elain archeron #pro elain #elain x azriel #acotar #elain #antielucien

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ferris-the-wheel · 5 months

Text

gn!reader x characters

: ̗̀➛ Scenario: Reader found their boyfriend's wallet on the table and decided to splurge a little because... why not?

A/N: This post was inspired by a random prompt "People trust me with their money; they shouldn't." I couldn't pass up the opportunity, even if the post didn't turn out exactly like the prompt lol.

ೃ⁀➷ 💜/💓 (Leona)

ೃ⁀➷ Established relationship

ೃ⁀➷ Not proofread in the fucking slightest, too tired.

TW: None

"Why is there money missing from my wallet?"

You shuffled your feet awkwardly as Riddle checked the surrounding area and inside his wallet again for the missing money. He turned to you. "Y/N, I'm missing some Madol, do you have any idea where it could be?"

You braced for a scolding. "I... may have... taken some from your wallet and done a little shopping." You replied. Riddle immediately grew upset. "You didn't ask for permission to use my money. Did the thought not cross your mind?"

"Uh— well— it did, but I kinda..." You trailed off mumbling. Riddle's eyes narrowed as he became more cross. "What was that? I couldn't hear you." He stated.

"Um— I'll be right back! Stay right there!" You said, dashing away. "Y/N, get back here!" You heard him call, but he didn't pursue you. You ran to your room and picked up the gift you'd bought for Riddle. In truth, you'd bought it as a peace offering so that he hopefully wouldn't be as mad.

You made your way quickly back to the lounge where Riddle still stood grumpy. "Here." You said, handing him the gift: a box containing decent-quality colored pens. "For when you're taking notes." You added as he took the gift, no longer mad.

In fact, he was kind of flustered. "O- Oh, well, thank you. But please ask before taking money from my wallet again." He said.

You smiled and nodded, but the silence that followed for a few seconds was kind of awkward. "... wait, these pens wouldn't have cost so much money." Silence. "What else did you buy?" He asked with a deadpan expression. "Uh...." You thought back to the four other bags of stuff stashed away in your closet.

Leona looked at you with a pointed expression. "Mind explaining?" He leaned back, his wallet discarded on the table once more and back to sitting next to you. Well, you can't say you were surprised that he figured it out so quickly.

"Well, seeing as how you have more money than I can think of ways to spend it— not to mention, you left it wide open on the table, so it's fair game— I decided to get some new shoes since my old ones were kinda falling apart." You explained, shrugging.

"Use your own money then." He frowned. "Okay, fine, next time I will. To be honest, I didn't think you'd notice given that you have so much of it." You blatantly admitted.

He smirked. "Looks like an herbivore can have some bite in them. Anyway, I was just kidding. Use however much Madol you want, I can always get more from back home." He said.

You eyed him up and down. "Are you being serious right now or just screwing with me?" You glared at him as he took his time answering the question. "Would I have suggested it if I wasn't? Also, I'm unfortunately not scr—"

You almost whacked him in the head as he leaned in closer, chuckling as he deflected your hand with ease. You snickered. "Well, if that's the case..." You hopped off his bed— he scowled when you did— and snatched up his wallet. "I'll be going out for just a little bit."

"Uh—" He started to stand up as you left the room. "Nuh-uh-uh! You said it yourself, I can use however much I want." You slipped out of his room as he gave an exasperated sigh and sank back down onto his bed, defeated.

You looked over from your position at the windowsill. You really thought that he'd never discover that he was missing any Madol since he had an overwhelming amount of it. "Y/N, I'm missing some Madol. Do you remember me buying anything yesterday? I don't think I did." Kalim put his hand to his chin thoughtfully.

"Uh- no, that was me." You said, smiling sheepishly. Kalim looked relieved yet also surprised. "Oh, okay! I thought that I had bought something in my sleep or something since I couldn't remember buying anything." Kalim laughed, putting both of his hands on his hips.

Then he blinked, now curious. "What did you buy?" He asked. You held a hand up to point to your hair. "I just got my hair trimmed a few inches." You replied. Kalim's eyes went to your hair, then he became crestfallen.

"Kalim?? What's wrong?" You asked, hurrying over to him. With a sad frown, he looked up. "I didn't even notice you changed your hair!" Well, to be fair, you also didn't notice that you were missing a decent amount of money either... You thought dryly, but outwardly, you comforted him.

"Woah woah woah, it's fine, Kalim! I only just got it today, of course you wouldn't have noticed it." You said reassuringly, giving him a side hug. He sniffed, looking at you, then slowly brightening up. "I... guess you're right."

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug, now fully back to normal. "Well, if you ever want to use my money, you don't even have to ask! In fact, you should take me with you!" He exclaimed. "I'd love to go shopping with you!!"

This was a little itsy bitsy post I made since I realized it's been like a week (estimate) since I've actually posted a oneshot, so here one is. It's definitely short but my brain isn't braining. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this short post! Have a good day/night. 💚

#riddle twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts x reader #twisted wonderland riddle #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts #leona twst #leona x reader #twst leona #leona kingscholar #kalim twst #twisted wonderland kalim #kalim al asim #twst kalim #kalim #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland

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annymation · 2 months

Note

What things annoyed and infuriated you the most in Wish 2023 (or Canon!Wish)?

OOOOH BOY! You just gave me permission to open a whole can of worms! Let's gooo!

Okay so here's a list:

I don't like how weak the reveal of what Magnifico actually does is. Asha finds out that he doesn't grant all the wishes, awesome, that would be a cool reveal, except, it's not a reveal, she freakin KNEW THIS! Asha herself said to a kid "It could be you someday" COULD! Asha, you said COULD, as in, there's the POSSIBILITY he'll grant that kid's wish, not a certainty! Not to mention if he only grants ONE wish per month then OF FREAKING COURSE not all wishes are granted. Okay, case in point, there's no grand reveal that the king is doing something no one knew, Asha apparently just forgot how their kingdom works.

Now hear me out, I am NOT one of those people that says Magnifico is a hero and Asha is a villain, I wanna make this clear, because although I find people who legit think like that kinda funny and I reblog their takes from time to time, I also find it frustrating that Disney managed to make a STRAIGHT, WHITE, MAN, IN A POSITION OF POWER, MORE LIKABLE THAN THEIR SECOND BLACK PROTAGONIST! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? IT'S SO EASY TO MAKE US HATE HIM!!!-ahem- But, although Magnifico is the most likable character in the movie, I do not see him as a hero, no no no, keeping the wishes away from the people of Rosas is bad, pretending that he'd grant Sabino's wish only to say SIKE was bad, saying he'd never grant Asha family's wishes was bad. So, am I saying Magnifico is a villain?... No. That's topic number 2, Magnifico wasn't a villain, he was a jerk. A jerk does not a villain make. I didn't feel threatened by that man for not a single minute, and that's including when he was possessed by the evil book, speaking of which.

That dang book both ruined and saved the movie honestly, because yeah, although it's a stupid way to make Magnifico an actual villain, but in a way that makes us sympathize with him since he's not in his right mind, and the last thing you want is for the audience to feel bad for your villain... Well, there's exceptions of course, but that's a whole other subject. But even though the book caused all this damage, it also gave us King unhinged, campy, straight up evil, fruity, voiced by Chris Pine having the time of his life Magnifico, and I loved every second of it, I ate possessed Magnifico up, I was living for every cringe cliche evil dialogue that came out of him, like hell yeah, that's what I've been waiting for, that's what it's all about WOOOOOO!!! I loved him so much I just copy pasted his personality into the Magnifico in my rewrite, although, my version is actually willing to kill teens, while Canon Mag seemed more hesitant for some reason, my headcanon is that Magnifico was fighting the curse deep down, and that's why his magic actually didn't hurt anyone, so... That's sad, hope he breaks out of the mirror and kills them all Idk

We're on topic 4 and this is not even half of my problems oh my... Anyway, Asha is boring. And I mean like, in a way that feels intentional, how did they do it? It's fascinating how she has nothing going for her, she doesn't stand out, doesn't have any internal conflicts at the start of the movie, something ALL Disney princesses have: Belle doesn't fit in with her village, Mulan struggles to make her family proud, Mirabel struggles to make her family proud x10.000, Moana wants to explore the sea but can't, Ariel wants to explore the land but can't, Jasmine wants to get out of the castle but can't, Cinderella is a victim of domestic abuse, ya'll get the idea, all these girls get their struggles that make them compelling, what's Asha's struggle that has been with her for most of her life?... Uh... Her grandpa, this dude we just met and seems pretty happy... Doesn't have his wish granted yet... Ok, what else? Oh yeah everyone in town seems to love her and dance along with her to show tourists how cool the kingdom is... Uhum... So yeah she has no compelling struggles that hook us with her from the start, and the conflict she DOES get, as I explained before, feels underwhelming.

The setting, oh the setting. Like, don't get me wrong, the architecture is pretty, but nothing about it screams SPAIN to me, where is the cultural food? Where are the bulls? Where's the stuff we associate with the Iberian Peninsula? They did such a good job in Encanto, what the heck happened? Oh and did I mention that most of the animals that appear in the forest are not even native to the Iberian Peninsula, there would be no racoons in a medieval setting there, considering they're an invasive species that was brought there from North America, something that, I assume, wouldn't be possible back then, as I don't think the americas were even discovered yet, but anyway, there they are, racoons hanging upside down from their tails, something they can't even do. Sorry for expecting biology accuracy from my disney movie guys, but you can't just make Encanto, that was freaking amazing with it's inclusion of so many gorgeous latin American animals, and then do whatever Wish is, like bruh where were the Lynxes??? They're an endangered species there, Disney could've raised awareness!!!

The music...

Valentino was absurdly annoying, and it would be SO EASY to make a baby goat cute! Baby. Goats. Are. Cute. SO WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM UNFUNNY GOAT THAT MAKES BUTT JOKES???

Characters were unmemorable, Asha's mom didn't do anything, Sabino, whose supposed to be the backbone of the story, is barely a character, and again, it's not like Disney hasn't made likable elderly people before, Moana's grandma, Mama Coco, but my guy Sabino was just... There.

Aaaand I probably could go on and on but I can't think of anything else, feel free to share your own problems with the movie yall.

#wish star #wish disney #wish movie #wish #disney #wish 2023 #disney wish

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gaybitchfx · 2 years

Note

Omega Mikey trying to court himbo alpha reader but readers dumb as hell and it takes Mikey practically screaming it at him

Any Mikey will do I'm not picky

Note: It’s the fact I started rubbing my hands together while chuckling and I’m finna do Kanto Mikey since Kanto Mikey is everything

CAN'T TAKE A HINT?

Character(s): Manjiro Sano (Mikey)

Type of reader: M!Reader

Category: Fluff & a/b/o

Warning(s): None

Edited: ❌

"Here." Mikey said and handed you one of his Taiyaki's to you.

"Oh, thanks Mikey!" You said with a smile and took it gingerly. He nodded his head a little as a tiny smirk formed on his lips.

There's two reasons why he's acting like this. One is because he's just around you at the moment, and the second is he had gotten your family's permission to court you.

So this had put him in a pretty good mood. "So where exactly are we going?" You asked after finishing the treat.

"Maybe a...park? It's calm there." Mikey questioned and your face light up. "I haven't been to a park in ages! Let's go!" You exclaimed and took his hand in your hand before dragging him to the nearest park.

"Hmm, this is much smaller than it used to be.." You said and looked at the small baby slides before looking over at the swings which were the normal looking ones that weren't for babies so you sat down on one.

Mikey didn't know what to do so he only sat down on the swing next to you. "So...what exactly do you like to do in your free time?" Mikey asked and you shrugged.

"I just do whatever I can do when I'm not busy." You said to him and he did a small nod. "Do you want some cotton candy? My treat." Mikey said after seeing a small stand not too far from where the park was. "Sure!" You exclaimed and so the two of you went over to the stand where an old lady was managing it.

"One (favorite flavor) and raspberry please." Mikey said to the lady and she nodded before getting to work. Mikey would glance over at you seeing you were watching her make it pretty fascinated. A small chuckle left his mouth making you look at him confused.

"What's so funny?" You asked with a raised brow.

"You look funny with how intensely your staring at the machine. And because you have crumbs on your cheek." Mikey said and wiped away the crumbs. "Oooh thank you!" You told him with a smile. "Oh what a lovely couple.." The old lady smiled and handed you two the cotton candy which was in a heart shape.

"Thank y-" "Oh no we're not a couple, we're just friends!" You told her and she nodded understanding. The words we're just friends had hurt him deeply, it even made his inner omega wince. "Oh..." Mikey mumbled before giving the lady the money and bowed a little before walking off.

"Hey, wait for me!" You exclaimed before speed walking to him. "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" You asked confused not knowing what you did wrong.

A small tsk sound came from Mikey as he stopped walking and turned his head to face you. He looked as if he was on the verge of crying. "You're too much of an idiot to understand how other people feel, Y/n.." Mikey sniffled and you only looked at him with that confused look.

"What do you mean?" You asked pissing Mikey off more. He grabbed both sides of your face and brought you into a kiss shocking you. Mikey eventually released your face which was filled with shock. "Why can't you understand how I feel?" Mikey questioned you. "I..didn't know you felt that way towards me.." You mumbled still in shock.

"Well, I'll leave you alone from now on. I could see courting you might have been something I wasn't ready for.." Mikey exhaled as he got ready to leave till your grabbed him by both of his arms.

"Wha-" He was cut off by you placing a soft kiss on his lips returning that exact shocked look you had before you pulled away. "Sorry I wasn't able to take the hints... I didn't mean to hurt you at all." You mumbled and rubbed the back of your neck.

"Do you want to continue...courting me?" You asked softly.

"Of course." Mikey said with a small smile.

#manjiro sano #mikey x male reader #mikey x y/n #mikey x you #mikey x reader #fiction #fluff #anime #omegaverse #alpha male reader #omega mikey #x male reader #male reader #tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers

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aspiringwriter1111 · 6 months

Text

Hallmark PSA

I know since it's coming on the holiday season, I'm going to start seeing a lot of Hallmark slander.

But here's a little known fact.

Hallmark is actually really really good.

WAIT WAIT DON'T LEAVE-

Let me explain!

The movies people usually associate Hallmark with are the "old" ones (2020 and back). I bet after seeing how cliche and unhealthy they were, you didn't see a reason to watch them again after that, am I right??

But you knew them well enough to know they weren't worth your time and sanity.

Girl in a high stress job goes to small town, learns the meaning of Christmas, and then cheats on her also stressed out boyfriend back in the city with a hot cocoa making stubbly kind of rude lumberjack man then quits her job and moves to Vermont or something.

Yeah, they don't do those anymore.

At all.

I'm serious.

A part of it is that there was a purge. A year or two ago, there was a new Christmas movie company in town. All the actors that didn't like the forward direction Hallmark wanted to go in, left and joined GAC.

(Great American Family, or as I like to call it GACK. The movies are exclusively awful old Hallmark style, but Republican, badly decorated, very white, and also much worse.)

GAC took all the problems away from Hallmark, and made movies out of them. Hallmark, now cleansed, is pumping out cinematic greats that I WILL be rewatching every Christmas.

The whole of Hallmark was Recast, save for the best of the best fan favorites (Like Lacey Chaubert-)

They have plus sized actors now and people of color, cast as main characters on a regular basis.

Half of the movies aren't even romance centric anymore, instead focused on life, and moving forward, but when they are, they're really well done, and actually healthy.

If you know me (which you don't), then you'll know I hate unhealthy relationships. Especially when they're treated like they're okay. I will pick apart ANYTHING over toxicity in a relationship, wherever that might come from.

I used to hate Hallmark movies, because they were predictable, unrealistic, flawed, and toxic.

But now the characters talk with each other, and they don't get in the others space without permission. If there's an accident and it does happen, it's not used as a plot device to move the relationship along. It's not treated in a "OMG hot guy is literally right in my face!!! I've only known him two minutes and I hate him, I'm in love!!"

It's more of an, "OMG I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that at all, im so sorry, I'm so sorry- *Immediately backs away*"

I can't even begin to explain how much better they are now.

To further prove my point, here are some gifs of Three Wise Men and a Baby, one of my favorite Christmas movies ever:

Just listen to this one.

It's about three brothers, one of which is a firefighter (this is important). A baby gets dropped off at the fire station, with a note. The firefighters name is on it, asking him to look after the baby until Christmas.

This is not his baby.

This IS a joke throughout the entire film.

They have no idea who dropped him off.

So they end up taking care of him for a week, and seriously bonding with him. The make his first Christmas ornament with clay, they do a holiday photo dressed to the nines.

They talk about how hard it is to actually take care of a baby, and how hard it must have been for their mom doing it alone.

Talking about how their own dad left, and finally processing that trauma together.

Their mom confesses that if she didn't have support, she may have done what the babies mother did. How she must be going through such a rough patch, and building empathy for her.

All three of the brothers go on complete cathartic emotional journeys about it, and all the other issues in their life.

I can't do it justice.

It's called Three Wise Men and A Baby. I'm begging you please go watch it, you will NOT regret it.

I CRIED SO MANY TIMES YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

I'm tearing up now just thinking about it oh my gOD-

The ending just sent it home for me, so I won't spoil anything.

Its amazing. I can't explain the whole thing, I seriously beg you please go watch it.

And, if you're more into comedy, I present to you Haul out The Holly:

A Christmas comedy starring your very own Gretchen Weiners!! Abso-fucking-lutley HILARIOUS.

It's about a woman, just broken up with her boyfriend, and coaxed into going home for the holidays. Here's where it gets interesting.

Her parents are the head of the Christmas neighborhood watch, something that has plagued her since childhood. Her childhood friend has now taken over the position, as her parent ditch her for retirement on a beach someplace, and she's left stuck, having to decorate against her will.

She wants a nap. The neighbors want her to carve ice sculptures. And her nutcracker apparently isn't up to code.

Includes: Girlboss and male wife power duo (madly in love), insane chainsaw man with way too much time on his hands, the ML an anxious wreck, and many, many, MANY MORE.

Another recent movie was built around a woman who is an astronaut (She's mixed) who was about to finally go to space (The goal shes been working on her entire life) She got into a car accident and her eyesight was impaired. She's currently grieving the loss of her dream (like, actually grieving, she took three months off-).

Her company asks her if she wants to do an exhibit in the planetarium for Christmas, that she doesn't have to, but she can if she wants to take her minds off of things. She says yes, and ends up working with the planetarium director on an exhibit about the sun and it's connection to Christmas through how people used to celebrate with the sun (I don't remember exactly, but it was explained thoroughly, and i think pagan???)

She and him don't constantly argue, or be angry at each other. They cooperate. They show genuine interest in each other. It's actually adorable, and it's also not just about them.

She meets his daughter, who is a wheelchair user. She asks why the Female lead isn't in space if she's an astronaut, and the FL tell her it's because of her eyes. The daughter tells her it's okay, because she'll never be able to go to space either, even if she wants to, but she can still enjoy it from Earth.

I'm not even doing it justice.

By the end of the movie, the FLs eye problem doesn't heal. Nothing is miraculously solved. But the ML and the FL are now dating (After the best, slow paced, healthy, communicative, collaborative bonding freaking ever-) ALL OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE FULL BLOWN EMOTIONAL JOURNEYS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER.

SHE GRIEVES.

HER BROTHER FINALLY FIGURES OUT ITS OKAY FOR HIM TO DO WHAT HE LOVES, AND THAT HE'S NOT A FAILURE FOR IT.

THE ML LET'S GO OF THINKING HES A BAD PARENT.

AND MORE.

There are soft bits, nothing is cliche, nothing is icky or gross.

It's healthy, it's cute, it's emotionally driven, I'm actually learning about things I didn't know before, and amazing.

And all the new ones are either like this or better than this. I could name over ten, but I can't even explain how good they are.

Some of the are still a little dark ages, but it's only every one out of six or seven.

Hallmark movies from 2022 and onwards are 5 star television, and you can't convince me otherwise.

#hallmark movies #hallmark channel #christmas movies #hallmark #christmas movie #Hallmark slander #PLEASE WATCH THREE WISE MEN AND A BABY I BEG OF YOU-#psa #this has been a psa #good movies #gay rights #people of color #body posititivity #change for the better

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440mxs-wife · 11 months

Text

The Deal With Love

Pairing: Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy x F!Reader. Other Characters: Jim Kirk, Nyota Uhura, Christine Chapel, Dr. Jordan Wallace, Dr. Dylan Clark, Martin Sinclair (OMC’s).

Word Count: 9316

Warnings: Fake dating, friends to lovers, well-meaning friends, alcohol consumption, some angst, conniving businessmen, but FLUFFFFFY ending.

Summary: One night, Dr. McCoy shows up at the bar owned by James T. Kirk, The Space Dock, with a problem. He’s about to close a deal with a major hospital, which will benefit his clinics. The hospital execs invite Dr. McCoy and his wife to their charity gala, where they hope to finalize the deal. However, Dr. McCoy isn’t married, so he asks the Reader to pose as his girlfriend, and she agrees. Only problem is, they have feelings for each other that have so far gone unspoken. Will they be able to go back to being “just friends” after the deal is done, or will there be heartbreak?

A/N: If you’ve been tagged here, it’s because you’ve interacted one or more times on a McCoy story of mine, or we’re moots. Whether you like or reblog, I am eternally grateful for your support. If anyone else would like to be tagged on any future Karl Urban character postings, or would rather leave the Crazy Train, please let me know. Thank you, and enjoy the show!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Leonard McCoy had wanted to be a doctor for as long as he could remember. He read nearly every medical textbook and magazine article he could get his hands on. As a junior and senior in high school, he received special permission to help out in the nurse's office. That's also where he happened to meet his best friend, James T. Kirk, or "Jim", as he was known around school.

After graduation, their paths diverged for a time, with Leonard headed to medical school, while Jim opted to pursue a degree in business. Several years later, Jim was the owner of a highly successful bar in downtown San Francisco, called The Space Dock. Only the best bartenders in the city worked at Jim's club, where the line frequently stretched around and down the block, starting on Thursday nights.

Leonard, on the other hand, spent his years slowly building his first neighborhood clinic into a total of three successful ones. His clinics provided the best care in the city, regardless of a patient's financial status. Each clinic worked in general medicine, while also specializing in one other particular area of health care. It was this model that caught the attention of Martin Sinclair, the CEO of one of the top healthcare facilities in the city, Bayview General Hospital.

Tonight, Leonard was invited to meet with Sinclair and several of the board members to discuss a business matter. The board wanted to propose the acquisition of the McCoy clinics, bringing them under the hospital's umbrella. Leonard would still be very much involved in the day-to-day operations but would have access to more and better technology to serve his patients.

After drinks and an expensive meal, Sinclair asked Leonard for his thoughts on the business proposal. In his mind, Leonard was jumping for joy at the opportunities being presented to him. On the outside, though, his poker face was in control. "I appreciate the offer, which I must admit is rather generous. However, I hope you understand when I say I'd like to discuss this with the other members of my staff at the clinics," he responded.

Sinclair and the other board members all assured him they understood, and after dessert, they all walked out to the valet station. Everything was going well at this point, with each side thinking they had the upper hand. While they were waiting for their vehicles to be brought around, Sinclair turned to Leonard. "Oh, you must invite your wife to join us at our next event. My wife is always looking to meet new people and make friends," he remarked.

Leonard gulped. "My-my wife?" he questioned.

"You are married, aren't you?" another board member asked. At the look on Leonard's face, he explained. "We're all married. You see, we find that when a colleague is married, it shows a certain amount of stability in his life, someone who's going to stick around. Not someone who we spend all of our time training, only to have them leave to go to some other hospital. So, when do we get to meet her?" he wondered.

"Well," Leonard began. "Thing is, I'm not married," he admitted. "N-not yet, anyway," he hastily added when he saw the faces of his potential co-workers. "I do have a girlfriend, though. A wonderful woman, who I've been involved with for almost five years. Been thinking of asking her to take the leap, but I haven't found the perfect moment yet," he sheepishly grinned.

The group burst into laughter and some of them clapped a hand on Leonard's shoulder. They all agreed that Leonard should bring his girlfriend to the hospital's charity gala, scheduled to occur in three weeks. Sinclair and the others hinted that they also hoped Leonard would have a decision on their offer by that date. He assured them that he would consider their offer, and in the meantime, he would be needing two tickets for the gala.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After he left the restaurant, Leonard headed for The Space Dock, to hang out with Jim and get his opinion on the deal. He needed some outside perspective, and he knew Jim would help him on that front. Leonard was still nursing his first glass of top-shelf bourbon when his eyes fell on you. He was usually around on Friday nights, watching as you made and served drinks to a packed club. However, this being a Wednesday night, he was surprised to see you working.

Leonard's eyes followed you as you took a tray laden with drinks over to a table of boisterous patrons playing cards. You set each drink in front of its recipient and smiled before turning to leave the table.

What happened next nearly had Leonard catapulting out of his seat. He watched in horror as one of the men reached out to try and pull you onto his lap. Fortunately, at the last second, you scurried out of the man's reach, then returned to confront him. As you spoke, his face seemed to get more and more pale and when you left again, he had a terrified look in his eyes.

You returned to the bar to wipe off your tray with a wet cloth, then smiled as you turned your attention to Leonard. "Oh, good evening, Leonard, how's everything going?" you asked.

"Going all right, everything okay with you? I saw what almost happened over there, what did you say to him?" Leonard wondered.

"I reminded him that his son, Mason, was a student in my class, and that I know his wife. I also mentioned what would happen if he or any of his friends with him tonight try to pull a stunt like that again," you replied.

"Really? What did you say you would do?" he couldn't help but ask.

You leaned in closer, and Leonard followed suit. "Um....I told him that if it happened again, I'd have to tell his wife about it at the next parent-teacher conference," you smirked. "He knows she's kinda scary about stuff like that."

Leonard threw his head back and burst into laughter. "Here I thought I was going to have to teach him a lesson in how to treat a lady, but you handled it just fine, darlin'," he remarked.

"While I appreciate the sentiment, I've handled worse before. Used to work in my uncle's bar when I needed money for college. Most of the customers were ex-military, a relatively good bunch for the most part. But occasionally we got a wannabe in there or some hotshot recruit who thought he could say or do whatever he wanted," you shrugged. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to fetch some more bottled beer from the cooler."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Leonard shook his head and watched as you walked through the swinging doors leading to the walk-in coolers. It wasn't long before Jim was standing in front of him, wiping down the bar top. "Hey Bones, what brings you in here? And on a Wednesday of all days?" he asked.

The doctor gave Jim a quick smile, then told him about the dinner meeting he had with the execs from Bayview General Hospital. Leonard explained the particulars of the board's offer, and what it all would mean for his practice. Then he brought up the unusual conversation that occurred outside at the valet station. "I mean, it was beyond weird. He said they're all married, that it represented 'stability' in a person's life," he grimaced at the memory of the conversation.

Leonard motioned with his thumb to where you were clearing the empty tables, while still keeping an eye on your rowdy table of customers. "What's she doing here tonight? It's only Wednesday, and if I'm not mistaken, she has a job as a 2nd-grade schoolteacher in the morning," he pointed out.

"My regular Wednesday bartender called out with a family emergency, so she volunteered to take the the extra shift," Jim shrugged.

"That's got to be tough, working all week as a schoolteacher, then here on the weekends," Leonard mused. He watched as you now washed glasses behind the bar.

Jim kept his eyes on his friend while Leonard observed your routine of washing and rinsing the glassware for the bar. "Yeah, but she does it all with a smile. Hey, what are you going to do about a girlfriend or fiancée for this gala thing?" he asked, changing the subject.

Leonard's concentration on you broke for a quick second to respond. "Hmm? Oh, the hospital gig. Don't know yet," he murmured, his eyes back to observing you. "I wonder if....nah," he shook his head.

Jim started to catch on to Leonard's train of thought. "Why not?" he asked. "C'mon, she's perfect! Second grade schoolteacher, wholesome occupation. Plus, the two of you have been friends for a long enough time that it'll be believable that you two are a couple," he explained.

"Hmm. Wow, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Jim, you might be right," Leonard chuckled. "Doesn't hurt to ask her, right?"

You chose that moment to bring over a tray of washed glassware, and latched on to the end of Leonard's question. "Ask who, what?" you wondered.

Jim looked from Leonard to you and grinned. "You know, I just remembered, I've got some paperwork to do in my office. I'll catch up with you two later," he winked and patted your shoulder on his way out.

"Len? Everything all right?" you asked.

It was now or never, Leonard thought. "Do you have a minute? I have something I'd like to talk with you about," he started. You flashed him one of your beautiful smiles, which gave him the courage to share the events of his evening and to ask for your help.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After he finished giving you the details of his plan, you silently digested the information. While he spoke, you were leaning forward, but now you were reclined in your chair, your palms flat on the table in front of you. It was a rather unusual thing to ask of you: pose as his girlfriend/fiancée to impress a bunch of hospital execs for a business deal.

The decision should have been a no-brainer. Do this favor for a friend by wearing a fancy dress to an upscale event with dinner and drinks. But in your case, it wasn't exactly that clear-cut of a decision anymore. Especially since lately, your feelings for Leonard had tiptoed across the line of simple friendship and into something more.

Sure, by the time Leonard came in on Friday nights, he usually had a grumpy look on his face. One that sometimes took until halfway through his second bourbon to begin to disappear. The other bartenders generally steered clear of Leonard until that point, except for you.

In your eyes, Leonard is exhausted and stressed-out from giving everything he has to treating his patients to the best of his ability. You admired him and couldn't imagine doing what he does, or how he does it, day in and day out, all with the utmost grace and dignity. The least you could do was pour the man a drink to help him relax from a day like that.

Leonard found himself studying your face, looking for any indication of your thoughts about his plan. "Well?" he prompted, breaking you out of your concentration. "What do you think? I'm willing to throw in some cash, or prizes, if that helps," he chuckled nervously.

You grinned at his attempts to alleviate any tension, or to possibly influence your decision. "Oh, no, no, Len. You don't have to do anything like that. I'll do this for you, no strings attached," you affirmed. Given the potential for heartbreak, you were aware that you may regret this, but there was no way you could turn him down. His friendship meant too much for you to do that. Somehow, you'd have to learn to live with the consequences, should they arise.

Just as Leonard thought it was about to all fall apart when you seemed to hesitate, you surprised him by agreeing to his plan. And though you'd said, "no strings attached", Leonard knew his heart was already somewhat tethered to yours. Perhaps these thoughts he's been having of something more with you aren't that unrealistic after all.

Leonard relaxed in his seat at the bar and reached out to take your hand in his. "Well, I don't quite know how to thank you for this, darlin'," he drawled. "They told me the gala was about three weeks from now. As soon as I have the exact date, I'll let you know, in case you need to go shopping or something," he mentioned. "At least let me help you by covering that expense."

You tapped your chin, pretending to think, then turned to Leonard. "Hmm. I s'pose I can live with that," you replied with a smile. "I'm sure I will need to get something to wear, at some point anyway. Not much call for a ballgown and high heels in my 2nd-grade class," you chuckled, as did Leonard. "But my dress remains a secret until that night," you advised, holding up your index finger.

"Fair 'nuff, sweetheart," Leonard grinned.

The two of you chatted for a little while longer until it was time for Leonard to head home. He hardly ever stayed much past eleven on Fridays, and it was now edging close to midnight. "I'll be here Friday night, as usual, so I'll see you then," he remarked. Before he left, he took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to the back of it, then gave you a roguish wink.

Your eyes followed Leonard as he walked out of the bar and into the night. The navy-blue dress slacks he was wearing clung perfectly to his backside. The top two buttons on his white dress shirt were open, giving you a tantalizing hint of his broad chest. His suit jacket was slung over one shoulder as he waved goodbye to Jim with his other hand.

Jim stood next to you and observed the way you ogled his best friend with your lips slightly parted as you watched him leave the bar. It wasn't until the door closed that you snapped your mouth closed and returned to the task at hand. "So, did Bones have anything interesting to say?" he smirked.

Your head swiveled in Jim's direction, and you rolled your eyes at the smug look on his face. "Oh, shut up, Jim," you muttered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Later that night after your shift at the bar, you were reflecting on Dr. McCoy's offer as you relaxed on your couch. All you had to do was to pretend to be the woman in his life, long enough for him to sign the agreement for the business deal. After the hospital's charity gala, you could break up with him, and you go back to being just friends. He made it sound uncomplicated. But will it really be that easy?

You could tell yourself all you want that you agreed to his plan because it was about one friend helping another. However, it wasn't that simple, considering your feelings for Leonard, even though you were sure he didn't return them. This arrangement made you wonder if or how you could ever go back to being "just friends", after you'd known what it was like to be his. As your eyelids drooped, your thoughts drifted back to that night when you'd first met Leonard.

>>Flashback

"Good evening, what can I get for you?" you greeted with a bright smile.

Leonard seemed to wince at your cheerfulness. "Bourbon. Please," he grumbled.

You delivered his drink and watched as he threw it back in one go. "Another?" you asked, to which he nodded. "Rough day?" you wondered as you replenished his drink.

Leonard paused mid-sip on his second drink. "Look, I know that bartenders are supposed to be great listeners, but please. I just want to enjoy my drink without anyone trying to shrink my head, especially one of Jim's new bartenders," he muttered. "No offense."

"None taken, but I have a deal for you. I have a joke for you, and if you don't laugh or crack a smile, your next drink is on me. However, if I do get a laugh or smile, no matter how small, you have to say something nice," you proposed.

Leonard's head tilted in curiosity and said he'd take your deal. You told your joke, but you think you messed up the punch line, because Leonard had no reaction. "Guess that means you owe me a drink, darlin'," he remarked.

"I reckon I do," you replied as you poured his next drink, then introduced yourself. He gave his name in return, and he watched as you ran the bar with precision, charm and grace. Throughout the night, you checked in with him, offering little tidbits about your life, while he did the same. You noticed that as the evening progressed, his time between refills got longer, while his laughs and smiles were more frequent.

Eventually, it was time for him to leave, but not without flashing you a smile and mouthing, "thank you". Whether that was thanks for your care and conversation or for making him smile, you didn't care. You had made a difference and that was enough for you.

>>End of Flashback

From that very first interaction with Leonard, a beautiful friendship was born. He came in every Friday night after work, and you got to meet his and Jim's other friends. Soon after meeting everyone, you were welcomed into the friend group as if you'd been there from the beginning. It was a feeling you didn't want to lose, especially once your arrangement with Leonard was over.

Noticing the time, you got up from the couch and stepped into the shower, praying that the hot water would ease your aching muscles. You also hoped it would relax you enough to the point that your brain would slow down enough to let you sleep. For now, you decided to let things happen naturally between you and Leonard, and try not to overthink the situation. Easier said than done, but I've got to try, you thought as your head sank into the pillow.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, it's about time," Uhura remarked. You had invited her to lunch because you needed a semi-neutral third party to help sort through your emotions.

"Wait, what's that supposed to mean, 'it's about time'?" you asked.

"I mean exactly that, it's about time Leonard wised up and asked you out on a date," she clarified.

"I suppose it is technically a date. I get all dressed up in a beautiful ballgown, Leonard picks me up from my place and we go to this hospital charity gala thing," you explained. "I'm there so that Len can project an image of 'stability' to the board members. They're all married, and if they think we're together, they'll want to do this deal with him."

Uhura rolled her eyes. "You two, I swear," she muttered under her breath. "Do you not see the way Leonard looks at you? Wh-when we're at the bar and you bring over the next round of drinks, his eyes follow your every move. They stay glued to you until you get back behind the bar," she stated. "I'm tellin' you, that man is smitten with you."

"Nuh-uh, he watches so that if I start to have any trouble because the tray is too heavy or something, he can jump in and help," you countered. "Doesn't mean he has feelings for me, or that he's 'smitten' with me, or anything else like that," you grumbled.

Uhura waved off your feeble explanation. "Never mind that. What happens after the hospital's thingamajig? Does everything go back to 'normal' with you and McCoy?" she wondered.

That's the sixty-four thousand dollar question, isn't it, you thought. "I suppose so, I mean, I don't think either of us have thought that far ahead. Once he signs the contract and the deal goes through, he said I could break up with him and we'd go back to being friends," you explained.

As if Uhura could hear your thoughts, she remarked, "But you're thinking, 'what if that's not what I want', right?" You nodded at her keen observation as she reached over and covered your hand with hers. "Then you have to tell him. Take the leap and trust that Leonard will be there to catch you," she added.

You took a deep breath as you considered Uhura's words. "I'll keep it in mind. For now, I need your help to find a gown that will blow his socks off," you grinned.

"I can definitely help you with that, let's go!" Uhura exclaimed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Across town, a meeting was being held between Dr. McCoy and the two chief physicians at his other clinics. He explained the terms of the deal with Bayview General Hospital, and what it would mean, especially with patient care. The conversation took a turn similar to yours and Uhura's when Leonard mentioned that he would be going to the hospital charity gala with you.

"Really? It's about damn time," remarked Dr. Jordan Wallace, one of his colleagues.

Leonard turned his surprised look towards Dr. Wallace. "Now, what's that supposed to mean?" he wondered.

"It means, Dr. McCoy, that we've been waiting for you to ask her out on a date since you first told us about her," answered Dr. Dylan Clark, another of his colleagues.

Leonard shook his head. "It's not like that between us, we're just friends who have known each other for a long time. They'll assume she's my girlfriend, and why should I correct their assumption?" he pointed out. "I suppose, technically, it is a date. We'll both be dressed up in our best, I'm picking her up from her house, and she'll be by my side for the evening," he explained.

Drs. Wallace and Clark looked at each other, unable to believe that Dr. McCoy, their friend and mentor, was this clueless about his feelings for you. "So, there's nothing more between you? This is only a business deal? What happens after the deal is signed, do you go back to being 'just friends'?" Dr. Clark wondered.

Leonard took a deep breath before answering. "I guess we haven't thought that far ahead, you know, about 'after'. It's not like I haven't ever entertained thoughts of something more with her," he admitted with a wry grin.

"What's so special about her anyway?" Dr. Wallace asked.

"Where do I start?" Leonard grinned. "She's intelligent, selfless, compassionate and has a great sense of humor. Her day job is a 2nd-grade schoolteacher, which should qualify her for sainthood on that alone. But she also works weekends at Jim's bar for some extra cash. On top of everything else, she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever met," he finished.

"Oh yeah, you're gone for this woman, Doc McCoy," Clark chuckled, as did Wallace. "My advice to you is to tell her how you feel. She sounds like an amazing person, and from what you've told us, you'd be perfect for each other. Take the leap and trust that she'll be there to catch you."

Leonard waved his hand to try and get the meeting back on track. "All right, all right, enough about my love life," he grumbled good-naturedly. "So, what are our thoughts on Bayview's offer?" he inquired, getting back to the business at hand.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After lunch with Uhura, you had found the perfect gown, a floor-length burgundy one with tulle overlay and cap sleeves. It had gold sequins on the bodice, at the waist and on the skirt. You found a pair of gold pumps along with some earrings and a necklace to match.

When you got home, you phoned Leonard to let him know so he could match his pocket square to the color of your dress. "Not even a hint as to what it looks like, darlin'?" Leonard chuckled.

"Not even a little hint, Len. A girl has to have some mystery about her. Keeps a man guessin'," you added with a grin you hoped he heard through the phone.

"Well, all right. I s'pose I'll let you have your mystery, sweetheart. Can't wait to see you this Friday, though," Leonard replied softly. "You'll be all dressed up like a princess, while I play the part of the frog," he joked.

"Fortunately for you, a princess can turn the frog back into the prince with only one kiss. And I will be more than happy to bestow one on you. Even though you're already a prince in my book," you remarked shyly.

"That's mighty kind of you to say, sugar," Leonard replied quietly. "Sweet dreams, darlin'," he responded.

"Sweet dreams of you, Len," you whispered, then hung up.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On the night of the gala, your friends Uhura and Christine came over to help you get ready. As you'd told Leonard, there wasn't much occasion for a ballgown and fancy shoes in your classroom. For this reason, you desperately needed your friends as reinforcements. Luckily, Christine was an expert with hair, which she put into a classic updo for you, with a few loose, wispy tendrils to frame your face.

Uhura was your cosmetics expert, keeping it at neutral colors for the most part. While at the same time, she was subtly enhancing your "existent beauty", as she'd called it. However, you were having trouble sitting still for her to apply the eyeliner and mascara. She finally stopped and asked you, "All right, what's going on? I can't finish your makeup if you don't stop fidgeting. What's wrong?"

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "It's just....tonight might not be as easy as I thought it would be. I mean, yeah, sure, it'll be great when he holds my hand, or puts his arm around my waist, but that's because we're pretending," you explained. "We're putting on an act for those hoity-toity hospital execs so they'll sign this deal with him. What if I make a mistake and blow everything? And....I don't want it to be pretend anymore," you finished in a small voice.

"Oh, honey," Uhura brought you into a hug, being mindful of your hair. "It's going to be all right. Leonard will be by your side the whole night, and he won't let anything happen to you. Just relax and follow his lead. You two have been friends for such a long time that this should almost be like second nature to you," she pointed out.

"Yeah, you're right. If something's going to happen, it should do so naturally, as it would if no one is watching," you mused.

"Exactly, keep it natural. If you want to hold his hand, reach for it. If you need to hold his arm, take it," Christine chimed in. "And if he wants to kiss you, well," she grinned. "Then lock your lips with his and hold on for the ride," she cackled.

Once the laughter died down, Uhura returned to her task of your makeup. As soon as she finished, she and Christine helped you step into your gown and zipped it up. You slipped your feet into a pair of gold pumps with a low heel and headed out to the living room, where you'd left your jewelry. Right after you'd secured your crystal earrings in place, there was a knock at the door and you froze in place.

"He's here," you whispered, your hand rising to cover your mouth.

Uhura rolled her eyes with a grin as she rose from her chair. "Relax, honey, I'll get the door, even though I know it's for you," she smirked. She checked the peephole, turned to you with a wink and a nod of her head. You nodded back and waited with bated breath as she turned the doorknob.

The sight that greeted you was one for which you were not prepared: Leonard McCoy in a tuxedo. The man was devastatingly handsome enough as it was, no matter what he wore, but a tuxedo?? He was a menace to be sure, but in the best of ways. "Good evening, Dr. McCoy. Won't you please come in?" Uhura prompted.

"Thank you, Nyota, I....," Leonard's voice trailed off when his eyes landed on you. "Whoa, sweetheart," he whispered. "You look absolutely exquisite this evening. Truly breathtaking," he added with a warm smile.

"Good evening, Leonard. And thank you," you returned his smile a bit shyly. "You look rather dashing yourself. Charming and handsome is quite the lethal combination, I'll have to keep my eyes on you," you teased. In front of you was the box that held your jewelry for the evening, the necklace still in the case. "Oh, um, excuse me a moment, last part of getting ready," you motioned to the box.

Leonard stepped over to where you were fiddling with the clasp on your necklace with shaking hands. He covered your hands with his own and eased the delicate chain from your hold. "Allow me," he murmured. You turned your back to Leonard and watched as the pendant with your birthstone came into view. An involuntary shiver coursed through your body when Leonard's hands brushed the soft, short hairs at the nape of your neck, which did not go unnoticed.

His hands traveled from your shoulders and down the length of your arms, capturing your delicate hands in his larger ones. Leonard gently nudged you to pivot until you were facing him, a tender smile on his face. "Pretty as a picture, darlin'," he remarked, causing the heat to bloom in your cheeks.

"Hey, that's a great idea," Christine chimed in, holding up her phone. Leonard slipped his arm around your waist, tugging you closer to his side, while you moved to rest your left hand against his chest, palm side down. "Smile," she prompted.

Leonard had shifted so he was facing you more than he faced Christine's camera. His right hand lightly covered your left one, and his eyes focused solely on you. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards in a secret smile, one you were glad only you could see. "I am one lucky man tonight," he whispered. "Shall we?" he asked, to which you nodded.

You picked up your gold, quilted-leather handbag and dropped your phone inside to join your wallet. Leonard held out his arm, so you curled your hand around it and he tucked it close to his side. "Time for us to go. I bid you good evening, ladies. I'll try to have her home at a reasonable hour," he chuckled.

"Take all the time you want, it's not like she has a curfew or anything," Uhura snorted with laughter, which earned her a glare from you. Christine caught the exchange between you and Uhura, which caused her to break out into laughter as well. Leonard grinned and shook his head as he led you out to his car.

Christine pulled up the picture she took of you and Leonard and sighed. Uhura stepped over to peer over Christine's shoulder and let out a sigh. "They're so in love with each other, but neither one of them will admit it. That picture says it all," Uhura remarked while Christine nodded in agreement. "Send that to me, will ya?" she asked.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

At the event, you and Leonard were the last of your group to arrive, but that was to be expected. He introduced you as his girlfriend, and explained that you have been together for about five years now. Leonard mentioned that you had met at Jim's bar, and how he knew as soon as he met you, that he wanted to get to know you better.

It made your heart flutter to hear Leonard say that, but you wondered if it was part of the act, or if he truly meant it. You pushed it to the back of your mind when Leonard guided you out onto the dance floor.

As you swayed back and forth, there was a softness in his eyes. Leonard pulled you closer to his side and his hand covered yours, which was laying flat against his chest. When he moved to rest his cheek against the side of your head, you could feel him smile.

After dancing, it was time to find your assigned table for the sit-down dinner. Somewhere between the main course and dessert, the men adjourned to discuss the business proposal from Bayview General Hospital. That left you to fend for yourself with their wives, but you were determined to keep up the façade for Leonard's sake.

Martin Sinclair's wife asked you what you do, and you responded that you were a 2nd-grade school teacher. You earned some polite nods and murmurs of affirmation from a couple of the wives. However, you also got the feeling that the other wives were not known to work outside the home, if ever or at all.

You scanned the room and noticed that the other executives had left Leonard by himself at the bar, sipping a bourbon, no doubt. As gracefully as possible, you excused yourself from the table to check on him.

Not knowing whether the meeting went well or not, you approached Leonard with caution by carefully laying a hand on his bicep. "Len, is everything okay? Where did the others go?" you asked. When he turned to face you, you were greeted with the widest smile you'd ever seen on him.

Leonard looked like he could hardly contain his excitement. "Everything went smoothly, they walked me through the points of their offer. All three clinics will remain open, we continue to serve patients, with no changes in the staff levels. Everyone gets to keep their jobs, and we can all keep doing what we love," he gushed. In a rush of enthusiasm, he pulled you into his arms, lifting your feet off the ground as he gently twirled you around.

When your feet were finally back on the floor, you stayed within Leonard's tender embrace. "All this time," he murmured as his fingers tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "We've known each other all these years. How am I only now realizing that--" his last thought was interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket. He explained that it was Dr. Wallace calling to see about the deal, and nodded when you indicated you were going to freshen up.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As you were leaving the ladies' room, you had only opened the door at a small crack when you heard two of the executives talking about the deal. They were congratulating themselves at getting Leonard to accept their terms, a few of which sounded different than what Leonard had told you.

One of them said that one of Leonard's clinics would have to close, because it wasn't profitable to accept all patients without adequate insurance. You decoded that it meant staff would be let go, and the city would lose a valuable and much-needed healthcare resource. Leonard would never agree to a deal that included those terms, thus you had to tell him before he signed anything. You waited until the men left the restroom area, then made your way back to the table.

Leonard checked his watch, anxious at the amount of time you were away from him. He was just about to go and look for you when you had returned to the table. "There you are sweetheart, I was about to send out a search party," he teased. His smile dropped when he saw the look on your face. "Is everything all right?" he asked quietly, growing more nervous by the minute.

"Not really, and I need to talk to you before you sign anything," you rushed out, then moved to a corner of the room near your table.

Leonard's face shifted to a look of concern as he rose from his chair and joined you. "Sweetheart, what's going on?" he wondered.

You relayed what you had heard on your way out of the ladies' room. When you got to the part about the clinic closing and the staff changes, Leonard waved his hands in front of you. "Wait, stop, that's not what's in this deal. They assured me--" he remarked, but you interrupted him.

"I think they told you whatever they needed to so that you would sign their deal. One of them said that it wasn't profitable to accept patients without 'adequate insurance coverage'. That was the reason they were closing one of the clinics," you explained.

Leonard vigorously shook his head. "No, no, you must have heard them wrong. Let's get back to our table so we can finish our evening," he demanded, reaching for your hand.

You pulled your hand out of his reach. "You can't sign that deal, Leonard. Please don't. You've worked so hard to get to where you are, and you're doing so much good for the city. I am immensely proud of you for that. But these men don't have your best interests at heart. All they see is profit and loss," you muttered.

"Can't you see what this deal means to me and my staff? To my patients? We can keep serving our patients like we always have, except now we'll have access to so many more resources! This deal is a good thing!" he exclaimed.

"Not if it comes at the expense of your patients, your staff and yourself," you replied sadly.

Leonard paused for a moment. "You know, it all must look so simple when viewed from the perspective of a 2nd-grade school teacher and part-time bartender," he shot back, his hands on his hips.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" you retorted.

"I mean, it's kind of hard to take the advice from someone whose biggest decision is what subject to teach a bunch of second graders every day. Meanwhile, I need to consider how I can best meet the needs of my staff and my patients. On top of that, I have real life-and-death situations to deal with." He watched as the color drain from your face at his response. Once the words were out of his mouth, he wanted nothing more than to cram them back in.

"Is that what you think about my job? About me? That my profession is inferior to yours, or that I am somehow 'less than'?" you countered. When Leonard didn't respond, you dropped your gaze to the floor. "Right. Well, you got your deal. Therefore, you no longer need me, so now we can break up. And I don't ever want to see you again," you croaked. "Goodbye, Leonard," you whispered. You picked up the skirt of your gown and rushed back to the table and grabbed your handbag before running out of the venue.

"NO! Sweetheart, wait!" Leonard shouted. He started to race after you, but was stopped by Mr. Sinclair.

"Is everything all right, Dr. McCoy? Looks like a little trouble in paradise, if you ask me," Sinclair smirked.

Leonard looked the hospital CEO in his eyes. "Yeah, well, I didn't ask you. The reason we were arguing was because of something she heard about your business proposal. You know, the part where you close one of my clinics and people lose their jobs. I believe you forgot to mention that in our agreement. I'd hate to think you'd lie to me about such an important aspect of the deal," he challenged, crossing his arms over his chest.

For his part, Sinclair looked nervous for about a half second, then quickly recovered. "Is that what she's up in arms about? Dr. McCoy, she's a school teacher. What does she know about making such complex business deals? Besides, we were going to discuss the staffing issue with you after the deal was signed. That way, we can decide how to best incorporate your resources with ours," he lied smoothly.

Leonard ran his hand over his face as he realized you'd been telling the truth and prevented him from making the biggest mistake in his life. Well, one of the biggest anyway. "I don't believe this. First of all, how dare you insult my girlfriend like that! Especially when she was right about you. Secondly, why would you lie to me about something this important?" he huffed. "Never mind, I don't care to hear your reasons or your excuses. Deal's off," he snapped on his way out of the ballroom.

As soon as he burst out of the front doors, Leonard's eyes frantically searched up and down the street, praying for a glimpse of you. A flash of gold caught his eye just as you finished tucking your skirt inside the taxi and you closed the door. Leonard ran and shouted for the taxi to stop before it pulled away from the curb, but it was too late and you were too far away. He pulled out his phone and dialed your number, only to have his call go directly to voicemail. With a string of curse words, he tried to call you again and again, with the same result.

Leonard slumped against the building trying to catch his breath, while silently mulling over what he'd lost this evening. He blew the deal, but for a good reason and he had no regrets about his decision to do so. There was no good reason for what happened with you, though, and there were oh so many regrets. He trudged to the valet station and handed over his ticket. Time to head home and see how long it would take to drown his sorrows in bourbon before he simply passed out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When the taxi dropped you off, you noticed that Christine's and Uhura's vehicles were still in your driveway. No doubt they want to hear how the evening went, you thought with a grimace. You fumbled in your handbag for your keys, but stopped when Uhura yanked open the door. Her eyes grew wide at seeing you alone on your front porch with Leonard nowhere in sight.

"Did I see you get dropped off by a taxi?" she asked. You nodded and dropped your gaze to the ground, not wanting her to see your face with your eyes red and puffy from crying. She stepped back enough to allow you to enter the house. You stepped out of your shoes, then picked them up and took them to your bedroom. "What happened? And where's Leonard?" Uhura inquired.

You heaved a deep sigh. "I need to get out of this dress first, then I promise I will answer all of your questions," you replied wearily. Before she closed your door, Uhura unzipped your dress so you could step out of it and put it back on the hanger. Once you had changed into your pajamas and fuzzy slippers, you stopped in the kitchen for a glass of water, then took a seat on the couch.

"The evening started off so well. Every time Leonard introduced me to someone as his girlfriend, all the butterflies in my stomach took off in flight. Deep down, I knew it was for show, but at the time, I didn't care. Anyway, we had a couple of dances before a lovely dinner. Then, right before dessert and coffee, Leonard and the execs stepped away to discuss the deal," you explained.

"Leaving you with the wives, I assume. That must have been fun," Christine muttered, rolling her eyes.

You chuckled softly and nodded. "It was okay. All part and parcel of the whole 'fake girlfriend' gig, I suppose," you mused. After taking a long drink of your water, you continued. "I saw Len standing by the bar, so I went over there to see how it went. He was so happy when he told me that they want to do the deal and explained some of the terms. I think he was about to say something important, but one of the doctors from his clinic was calling him for an update. So I excused myself to the restroom."

"All good, so far. What happened next?" Uhura asked.

"When I was coming out of the ladies' room, I heard two of the execs talking about the deal. Their terms were very different from what Leonard told me. I waited for them to leave then I returned to the table. I must've looked upset, because Leonard and I stepped aside, then I told him what I'd heard," you remarked.

"And how did he take it?" Christine wondered.

You took a deep breath and dropped your gaze to your hands, where your fingers were twisting in your lap. "Um....not well? I guess? He didn't believe me, said I must have heard wrong. I tried to convince him not to sign anything, because they were lying to him just to get him to agree to the deal. Then he...." your voice trailed off.

"Go on, what did he say next?" Uhura inquired in a tight voice.

"He said uh....he-he kind of indicated that as a 2nd-grade teacher, I have a rather simple view of things. That I couldn't possibly understand how complicated this deal is, or how beneficial it will be for everyone," you swallowed back a sob.

"He said that??" Christine gasped.

You nodded slowly. "I told him that if that's what he thinks of my job, of me, then he didn't need me anymore since he got his deal. I said we could break up now, and I didn't want to ever see him again. After that, I ran back to the table, grabbed my purse, and bolted out of the venue. One of the valets hailed a taxi for me, and Leonard's been blowing up my phone ever since I left." From the couch cushion next to you, a text notification sang out, so you held up your phone for Uhura and Christine to see.

Uhura made a noise of disgust, then scowled and held her hand out. You passed over your phone, which she promptly turned off then handed back to you. "There. Leave it off for the night, and you can decide in the morning if you want to talk to him," she advised, and you nodded in response.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The weekend passed without any contact from you, which did nothing but fuel Leonard's concern for you. As far as he could tell, his text messages went unread and he had no idea if you listened to his voicemails. He went to The Space Dock on Saturday night, hoping to catch you at work. Jim told him that you'd taken the weekend off for personal reasons, deepening Leonard's anxiety about you.

That night after the gala, Leonard indeed went home and had more than a few swigs of bourbon. He wanted to drown out the memories of the evening, even though it had all started so well. Leonard was proud to introduce you to everyone as his girlfriend, something he wished was his reality, not fiction. The two of you even enjoyed a couple of turns around the dance floor before sitting down for dinner.

After the main course, the business portion of the evening occurred, where Sinclair and the others outlined their proposal. Everything seemed good on paper: no staff reduction and no clinic closures, just business as usual with access to more technology. He shook hands with Sinclair and the others, who advised him that the contracts would be sent to his office for signatures.

It all started to fall apart after you got back to the table and told him what you'd heard. You tried your best to convince Leonard that this deal wouldn't benefit him the way he thought it would. Problem was, he was too wrapped up in seeing its advantages that he didn't want to believe in anything that would threaten it.

So he lashed out and said those awful things to you, belittling your profession, diminishing your sense of self. Leonard could swear he witnessed the exact moment your heart shattered into thousands of pieces from the force of his words. And the light leaving your eyes was something he never wanted to see again as long as he lived, especially since he was responsible. You ran out before he could catch up to you and the taxi took you away from him before he could stop it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Monday morning found Leonard at his desk, which was full of paperwork that needed various levels of his attention. Instead, he stared at his phone, willing you to answer at least one of his text messages or respond to one of his voicemails. Even if you told him to never contact you again, it would be some kind of answer. He was about to call Uhura or Christine for an update on you, when the door to his office flew open.

"What in the hell did you do that night?" Jim thundered. Leonard's office assistant, Abby, was close behind, trying to pull Jim back out of the office.

Leonard motioned to Abby that everything was okay and that he would take care of the situation from here. She nodded and closed the door behind her, then Leonard turned his attention to his visitor. "Now, Jim I-" he started.

"She quit, Leonard. My best bartender quit. Said she was sorry, and that it was for personal reasons, but she refused to elaborate. Now, I'm aware of her agreeing to be your pretend girlfriend, thus I can only surmise that something terrible went down that night because of it. So, out with it. What did you do?" Jim demanded, his arms crossed over his chest.

Leonard took a deep breath before responding. "Okay. Here's what happened," he relented, then ran through the events of that night. Jim eased himself into a chair and as he listened, he did a thorough review of Leonard's appearance. Dr. McCoy had a weekend's worth of stubble, coupled with a defeated expression on his face. Whatever happened, Jim could see that it greatly affected both of you, because he knew you weren't faring much better.

When Leonard finished his story, Jim sat back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh. "Wow. What are you going to do now?" he asked.

"I don't know, Jim. Right before you walked in, I was about to call Christine or Uhura to see if they would at least tell me how she was doing. However, I'm pretty sure they won't tell me anything. 'Girl Code' and all, I suppose," Leonard muttered, then he turned his sad expression to Jim. "I need to know how she is and explain how sorry I am for what I said," he implored. "And I have to tell her how I feel."

Jim thought for a few minutes then sat up in his chair and leaned his elbows onto Leonard's desk. "I have an idea, but it's nothing elaborate," he started.

"Go ahead. At this point, I'll do just about anything to get her back. She deserves the world, and I want to be the one to give it to her," Leonard declared.

Jim clapped his hands, then rubbed them together with glee, the complete opposite mood he had when he walked in. "Okay then. Here's what we do," he grinned.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"All right, class, when I get back, we'll start the next chapter for Where the Red Fern Grows," you promised. "For now, finish up your math worksheets from earlier today, otherwise please sit quietly until I return," you directed. A few moments ago, you'd received a text message from Margaret, the principal's assistant, asking you to please come down to the office.

When you were still a few feet away, you gasped in shock to see Leonard standing there with a bouquet of white and yellow tulips and pink roses. You stopped short in your path to the office, not wanting to be seen. Just as you turned around to go back to your classroom, Margaret called out your name and you cursed under your breath. Leonard's eyes caught yours and you could see the apology and regret, but you weren't exactly ready to forgive him quite yet.

"Margaret, what's this all about? I was getting ready to start our reading session when you called me down here," you narrowed your gaze. "I really don't have time for this. Besides, I told you that I don't want to ever see you again. I'm going back to my class," you directed at Leonard, then turned on your heel and started walking down the hall.

Leonard rushed out of the office and managed to catch your arm, which you promptly removed from his grasp. "Wait, please sweetheart, I need to talk to you," he pleaded.

"You said enough that night, Leonard McCoy. Your feelings about me and my chosen profession were made quite clear at the gala. I hope you still got everything you wanted after I left," you replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, my class is waiting to see what happens next with Big Dan and Little Ann," you remarked as you resumed your path back to class.

This time, Leonard didn't stop you, only stared after you to see what room you went into then wandered after you. He only got a few steps when Margaret tapped his shoulder, a laminated card on a lanyard in her hand. "If you're going to be roaming these halls, you must have a visitor's badge," she explained.

Leonard slipped it over his head then gave Margaret a brief smile. "Thank you."

"Listen. I don't know what's going on with you two. All I know is that in these past few weeks, she's been smiling a little easier and seems happier. I hope you work out whatever it is between you, because she's one of the best 2nd-grade teachers we have. You'll find her in Room 23B," Margaret winked.

Leonard's face broke out into a huge toothy grin. "Thank you, Margaret. I don't intend to let her get away," he winked back and headed for Room 23B. When he arrived, he noticed that the glass window by your door was covered in construction paper cutouts of stars. Each star had a student's name on it, and at the top of the window read the caption, "Reach For the Stars".

He peered into your room, where you were reading from a well-worn, leather-bound book, Where the Red Fern Grows. Although he couldn't hear your words aloud, Leonard could tell from your facial expressions that you were bringing the story to life. It was at that moment he saw how much of your heart and soul were invested in your profession. He understood more now why his words had hurt so much that night.

Leonard was about to walk away when a student turned towards the door and caught his eye. The student must have said something to you, because you stopped reading and quickly left your seat. You marched towards the door and yanked it open. By the time you slipped out into the hallway, you were fuming. "Are you out of your mind? How dare you interrupt my class time!" you hissed.

He held up his hands, pleading with you. "Wait! Please! All I want is a chance to explain myself. If you want nothing more to do with me after that, I promise I'll respect your decision," Leonard promised.

You shook your head. "No, you need to go home, Leonard, because I cannot have this conversation with you right now," you retorted. You spun on your heel and reentered your classroom, pulling on the door to close it behind you. However, it didn't completely latch, leaving a sliver of opportunity.

Leonard took a deep breath, checked the bouquet in his hand and nudged open the door. He saw your eyes widen with each step until he was standing before you at the front of the room. "I don't believe this! Leonard, please, now is not the time for--" Leonard stopped your rant with a swift press of his lips to yours.

At first you fought the urge to give in to what you've wanted since you first met Leonard, so you don't return his kiss. Not at first, anyway. But Leonard was persistent and didn't let your resistance deter him in the slightest. "I'm sorry, but this was the only way I could think of to get you to stop talking," he murmured.

Suddenly you were aware that twenty-five pairs of eyes were trained on the two of you, which caused a heat to bloom in your cheeks. "Um, don't look now, but we have an audience," you replied sheepishly.

You looked at the faces of your students, some smiling, but all fully paying attention to the drama unfolding before them. No doubt your real-life story was more interesting than the book your class was currently reading. You were their beloved teacher, and they had to see how it would play out.

At this realization, you snapped back to reality and the situation at hand. "Just answer me one thing, Leonard. Was any of it real for you? The stories, the compliments, did you mean any of it? I know what we said when we started this, but I've wanted it to be real for a long time. I-I am in love with you, Leonard McCoy," you declared softly.

Leonard audibly sighed with relief. "Sweetheart, of course it was real. I meant everything I said about you. When we met, how happy I was to be with you these past five years....how beautiful you were that night," he revealed. "And still are," he whispered. "I'm in love with you, too," he affirmed.

You tenderly cradled his jaw and stroked his cheek with your thumb, smiling when you felt him lean into your touch. "Class, what do you say? Show of hands for inviting Dr. McCoy to join us for the rest of class," you called, your eyes still trained on Leonard. Every hand shot straight into the air. "It's just me reading Where the Red Fern Grows," you murmured.

A grin slowly stretched across his face, then he leaned forward to touch his forehead to yours. "Good thing Margaret set me up with a visitor's badge, huh?" Leonard chuckled. "I would love to join you and your class," he remarked.

"Remind me to thank Margaret on my way out today," you giggled. Leonard nodded, then took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to the back of it. He picked up an empty chair and positioned it near your chair at the front of the room. When you reopened the book, you winked at Leonard before returning to where you'd left off in the story.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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#leonard mccoy x reader #leonard bones mccoy x reader #bones mccoy x reader #karl urban character x reader #reader insert

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streamafterlaughter · 8 months

Text

Fundamental Differing

Chapter XVIII: I Gave My Life Away

pre warning: tags contain some non specific spoilers

warnings: 18+ MDNI mentions of a suicide attempt, alcoholism, narcotics addiction, depression. Adult content not meant for people under the age of 18. (spoiler for next tag!) Grinding/heavy petting, an inkling of smut. Angst, hurt feelings, heavy subject matter. reminder that this is fiction and i do not condone the actions of my characters! afab!gn!reader, they/them pronouns, rockstar!eddie, use of y/n lol i did not use y/n once!, pet names

a/n: i am… so sorry. that’s all i’ll say for now.

Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated.

—

January 1991

Eddie’s POV

“Eddie? Eddie!” The voice is familiar, but too far away. He can’t see anything beyond a spinning figure, but he feels the harsh slapping on his face before someone drags him by his armpits into the bathtub. “Cmon, man, please.”

Then there’s water, and it’s cold, and Eddie’s trying to move but he can’t, he can only cough and choke as the shower spray gets into his nose and mouth.

“Oh fuck, thank fucking God.” Then there are footsteps, and Eddie’s hauled out of the bathroom on a stretcher, the frantic voice following closely behind.

Present Day

Eddie’s POV

“Ed, they’re looking for you. Two minutes.”

Eddie nods, waving the security off and turning back to her. “You’re still in Ohio, then?”

“Yeah, seems it. Nothing really goin’ on here, though.”

“Isn’t that kind of a good thing?”

She shrugs, her lips pursed. “Guess so, if it means you’re here.”

Eddie chuckles shyly. “Well, I should get moving, or Steve will have my head.

She nods eagerly, wrapping herself tightly around Eddie’s torso, causing him to shift uncomfortably. He hasn’t seen her since before, and he realizes now he’s not that person anymore. It causes his heart to skip with anxious energy.

“See ya.” She sends him a wink, and he waves as she turns on her heel to venture back into the crowd.

The security guard is still there, humming the chorus to Under The Bridge as it plays out of the house speakers, leaning against the wall as he waits for Eddie to finish with the pretty, dainty girl he’s with, and Eddie returns to him like a scolded child. “Alright, let’s go.”

“That your girl?” He asks, making small talk with the rockstar he has likely no interest in.

Eddie shakes his head. “God, no. A friend, maybe. Not even that much, not anymore.”

“Guy like you doesn’t need to dwell on that, man. Sure you got plenty of ladies lined up for a chance with you.”

He snorts, amused by this guy’s casualty. “You’d be surprised.”

The guard escorts Eddie all the way to the stage, where Steve is seething and huffing about, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “Sorry, sorry. Ran into someone.”

Steve’s expression softens slightly at the mention. “Was it-“

“Yeah. But it’s fine, really. Civil, even.”

“Right. In that case, I’m still mad at you,”

“Sure, of course. Can we hold off on my discipline until after the show?”

Steve runs a hand through his hair, breathing deeply as if to prevent himself from taking a swing at Eddie. “Fine. Go.”

Eddie bows his head to thank him, and takes his place next to his bandmates, who’d been left waiting restlessly for their frontman, again. “Hey-“

“Shut up.” Jeff silences him. “Don’t wanna hear it.” And it’s fair. They shouldn’t have to listen to his excuses. He’s supposed to be working on himself, and all he’s managed to do is piss off the people that matter to him most. The house lights dim, and Eddie watches as the crowd grow feral, shoving toward the stage, shaking the metal barricades standing between them and the stage. His heart thumps in his ears, in time with the crowd’s eager chants of “COFFIN, COFFIN,” a command he’s inclined to obey. It drags him forward, led by his band onto the stage to present themselves to a mass of people that want to tear them apart.

The stage lights up with the first chord, and Eddie hears the audience beyond his monitor. He looks back to Gareth, who’s awestruck at the noise, then to Jeff who holds his hand over his chest, genuinely thanking these people for coming. Eddie wants to feel it, too. The warmth these people seem to offer his friends, but he’s somewhere else. He can’t get used to it, like he’s wearing shoes half a size too small. It makes him shift uncomfortably inside his skin, constantly feeling the eyes of thousands on him, relying on him, there for him. It’s then that he realizes he’s sober on stage, for the first time in five years.

He’d stuck to his word, now twenty four hours without consuming a drop of alcohol. He feels his chest tighten, like a hand made of knives has broken open his ribcage to squeeze his heart until it pops. His lungs will fill with his own blood and he’ll choke, he watches as it flashes before him, a panic stricken fantasy but Eddie wouldn’t say unrealistic.

His friends are looking at him. The crowd is calming with their increased confusion; a late start and now a strange, empty pause. He has to fill it. He can’t find you, and he’s taking too long, and it’s starting to confuse his band, so he shouts into the blackness “HELLO, COLUMBUS!” and the room combusts with the release of tension. “I am so sorry we’re late. Thank you for waiting. Let’s burn this fucking place down.” Gareth hits his sticks together, both a warning and a courtesy that there’s no stopping now, and Eddie rides the momentum. He nails every incoming note without thought, and he can feel the vibrations through the building, both of the music and the crowd. He gets the same rush he used to, when he was wide eyed and bushy tailed, younger and in love with the life of a rockstar. For a second, he feels it again, in the same place he’d felt the least alive at this time two years ago.

Your POV

“What the hell!” You stomp up to Steve, screaming over the noise of the stage into his face. “Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Steve only smirks. “How does it feel, huh? To not have a fucking clue what’s going on? He’ll tell you. I can’t-“

“Blah!” You throw your hands into the air, “I get it, you can’t tell me. Just… who’s the girl?”

Steve’s smile only grows. “Are you jealous?”

You groan, more from exhaustion than embarrassment. “Of course I’m fucking jealous, Steve! Don’t play dumb! Please, don’t make me feel stupid.”

His face falls, and he grabs you by the shoulders, jolting you into focus. “You have nothing to worry about. That I do know.”

It’s not enough, but it’s all you’re gonna get. You can’t help but respect it, the commitment to keeping Eddie’s business to himself. Truth be told, Steve is probably dying to tell you. “It’s that big, huh?” He nods sadly, and you mirror him in understanding. “But he’s going to tell you. He’s gonna tell you everything, and it’s gonna be a lot to digest. So I’ll be here when he tells you.”

“Steve, you’re scaring me.”

He nods. “That’s my intention. You might not get the answers you want, but you’ll get answers.”

You watch the tail end of their set with your brain going in circles. What could Steve possibly mean, the answers you don't want? What answers do you want? Who’s the girl, for starters. But mostly, what happened, in the two years without contact? What made you so angry? You can’t imagine an answer heavy enough to break you, not off the top of your head. Whatever it is, you want it. Even if it’s just to understand Eddie a little more. Even if it means he can’t be with you. Even if it means you have to let him go.

“Thank you!” Eddie shouts after the final note of a song you couldn’t name. “Thanks for comin’ out, Columbus!” The crowd shrieks, ratting your brain inside your head. “And give it up again for DEATH DANCE APPROXIMATELY!” The crowd politely continues cheering, and a small girl next to you sends you a bright smile. “So, so grateful to have them on this whole tour with us, you have no idea.” Eddie laughs bashfully, out of character for him to do while on stage. It’s a small thing, something you shouldn’t have noticed, but of course you did. He’s nervous. You squint, as if it will help you read him better, and it doesn’t. “This is our last song, I wanna hear you all. Loud as you can, alright?” The crowd whoops, and Corroded Coffin start in on Sweetheart, and you almost choke on your tears immediately.

Eddie has always said the closing song is the most important. It’s the one freshest in their mind, the one that will stick with them the most. It has to be perfect. He’d never used Sweetheart as the closer, and it’s obvious Gareth and Jeff weren’t ready for it, probably assuming Eddie skipped it reading the setlist. Eddie’s voice shakes slightly as he sings, but it’s perfect. His eyes stay closed the whole time, and you desperately wish he’d open them, find you in the wings, and sing the words to you again. Like he had, any time you’d asked him to just because you could. You sing along, lose yourself in the lyrics for the first time in years, actually hearing the words meant for you.

And then it’s over, and they’re thanking the crowd and bowing, and walking off stage, and even though you know you’re gonna see it all again night after night, even though you have seen it tens of times already, you miss it. The feeling of a shrieking crowd feeling all of their feelings while you feel yours. The feelings you hope you can give to your own audience. You feel like a teenager seeing their favorite band for the first time, and you’d forgotten how good that felt.

Robin seems to appear from thin air next to you. “Hey!” She semi-shouts over the bustling crowd. “Are you crying?” It’s a question you should absolutely be used to by now. You hadn’t noticed this time, though. “Oh!” You sniff, wiping a tear from your cheek. “Yeah, guess I was. Not sad, though.” Not necessarily true, but for now a nonissue.

“We’re all goin’ out tonight.”

You shake your head. “I’ll catch up.” She frowns at you. “It’s okay! I’ll tell you everything I can after.”

The possibility of a gossip session soothes her curiosity, and she squeezes your arm before continuing to wiggle through the crowd. You follow her backstage, into the massive dressing area backstage, where Eddie sits with his bandmates in a circle of metal fold out chairs, each of them holding a beer. Besides Eddie, who fiddles with the label of his water bottle.

“Right!” Jeff pats Eddie’s knee as he speaks, “We’re goin’ out. celebrating our biggest show to date.”

It’s then that Eddie lifts his eyes and catches you staring. You don’t bother averting yours to the floor, already having been caught red handed. “Do you guys mind if I sit this one out? I uh, have a prior engagement.” The girl, you’re sure. The girl you have nothing to worry about, the girl Eddie knows in the nowhere state of Ohio. You chew on the inside of your lip until you draw blood, anxious and suddenly unsure of everything Steve had tried to warn you about.

“Yeah, man, of course. Come out if you change your mind, though.” With that, Gareth and Jeff exit the room, and your friends follow suit soon after, leaving you and Eddie alone.

Eddie’s POV

Now, I have to do it right now. “Hey,”

You face him, eyes wide with questions he so desperately wants to answer for you. Your hands are clasped tightly together, your knuckles white and arms flexed, jaw clenched. “You wanna get some coffee?”

Your nod is vigorous, and he holds his elbow out for you. You quickly latch onto him, and Eddie feels just how anxious you must be. He can’t imagine where your head’s at, with your nightmares and your constant, irritating habit of caring about him so much. He’s exhausting you, and all he wants now is to let you rest.

Eddie asks a remaining staff member to escort the two of you out the back way, and into the warmth of the summer night. “Is there even somewhere that sells coffee around here? Let alone somewhere that’s open?” You joke, and he chuckles.

“I guess I didn’t think that far ahead. Ah!” He points down the road, to the glowing 7-Eleven sign. “Onward!” You laugh, and it floods through Eddie, like it’s drenching his head in ice water, refreshing him. He’s since dropped his arm, but yours stays locked around him, like if you let go he’d run away. As if he’d ever think to do such a thing.

He breaks the thick silence finally, after several minutes of walking through it. “You uh, said you wanted to talk?”

You look up at him. “I did?”

“Yeah, uh, this morning? We didn’t really get the chance.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah I guess so. I just,” You shake your head, frustrated, “I have questions.”

“Okay,” Eddie shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant. He wants to give you the answers. Finally, he wants to be completely open with you.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, shoot. I’ll answer your questions.”

“Any of them?”

“All of ‘em, sweetheart.” He can’t help it, he loves watching you shy away at the nickname, cute and soft, under all that armor.

Your POV

“Okay…” You have to be careful. One wrong move, and he’s shutting you out again. “Where’d you go tonight?” A subtle way to ask it, you think. Not accusatory, just curious, bordering on nosey.

“I ran into an old friend. From group.” You snap your neck, catching the words he says so casually.

“Group?”

Eddie nods, “NA-slash-AA.”

This is nowhere near where you thought this conversation would go. Every question you’d had crumbles at his answer. “What?”

“I’m more of a casual attendee, lately.” You feel your head fill up with more questions, and you’re drowning. “When did you-“ You’re expecting him to cut you off, but he waits. “When did you start going to meetings?”

Eddie looks to the sky as if to find the answer in the blackness above. “Early into 1991. There was still snow on the ground.”

“What um,” You’re walking the tightrope here, and you heed Steve’s warning. “What made you decide to go?”

Eddie looks at you again, his expression sad. “Had a really, really bad night.”

“What happened?” You ask, too quickly. It’s not fair, and you don’t have any right to know the answer, but Eddie snorts a laugh, like this news isn’t breaking your heart to learn. “Steve saved my life. I’m surprised he hasn’t divulged this story to you, even with the fact that I begged him not to tell anyone. Took me years to even tell the guys. I had gotten so bad, I didn’t care what happened to me. I was drinking myself to sleep every night, wallowing in self pity, barely able to function. I was worse than any time before. Worse than I was when you’d called me that night.”

“What night?”

“You were drunk, you probably don’t remember. Sometime in September of the year before, I’d been up all night trying, and you called me at home.” The memory comes back in a tidal wave. You’d just finished recording your EP, your first cohesive body of work, and with it had been signed to Sub Pop. Things had been looking up for you after cutting things off with him in July, but somewhere far away, Eddie had been drowning.

Before you can say anything, he continues, “Anyway, we were on a kind of hiatus as a band, had been for about a year at this point. I had nothing to get me out of bed before three in the afternoon, nothing to distract me from my pity party. I went out every night, drank until I couldn’t see, and did lines in the bathroom with people I didn’t care to know. I probably slept with six or seven different people a week, sometimes more. I couldn’t stop, because then I’d have to feel my feelings, and I was so afraid of them. One time,” He has the gall to chuckle, “after I got kicked out of a bar in New York for trying to fight the bouncer, I was so wasted and beaten that I fell asleep in my front yard with my pants around my ankles. Really glad I don’t have neighbors.”

It all pours out so easily now, like he’s telling you about his trip to the grocery store. “I uh, only got worse after that.” He stops, and you look up at him, waiting with wide, stinging eyes. “You sure you want me to keep going?” You nod. You don’t want to know, but you have to. As much as you suspect it’s gonna hurt, it means something that he’s finally willing to tell you.

He pushes forward. “On New Year's Eve of ‘91, I mixed whiskey and Steve’s Xanax. Way too much of it. Harrington found me passed out in the bathroom of my hotel room at around 1AM and called an ambulance. I'd written a note and everything.”

He pauses again to let you digest it all, and the silence sends a piercing ring through your ears. The words coming out of his mouth feel so far away, disconnected from the mouth they’re coming from. You’d never known Eddie to give up. Nothing had stopped him before; from finishing high school, from getting out of Hawkins, from being a rockstar. Regardless of how angry, or frustrated, or beaten he'd gotten, Eddie had always bounced back.

He finally pulls you from your thoughts. “That was the worst of it, but it had been a long time coming. When we were,” He gestured lamely to the air, “seeing each other, I was usually either on a run or coming down. I didn’t hide it well, I was almost sure you’d known, or at least suspected something. I was so angry and twitchy all the time. As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t bring you into it, though. I never wanted you to know, and in a lot of ways I still don’t. Actually, please tell me you don’t wanna know. I’ll shut right the fuck up.”

“Nice try, but you underestimate how nosey I am.” He laughs, and you smile despite it all. “When did you start, I guess doing coke?” He doesn’t think about it for long. “Ironically, New Year’s Eve 1990 was the first time. I was a pro at it by May. I'd been drinking heavily for years by then, guess I wanted to jazz it up to ring in the new decade.” He stops walking and pivots to look at you, suddenly eager, and in no way aware of how jarring what he’d just said was. “Do you remember when I would get nosebleeds all the time, or when I’d sneeze and there’d be a giant snot bubble?” You nod, your face contorting with disgust at the memories. You remember a specific time, when you’d been making out with him in his hotel room in Boston, and his nose had just started dripping blood onto your bare chest. He’d gotten so pissed off at himself he’s left without putting his shirt or shoes back on. “Yeah, that had nothing to do with the humidity. Deep down, I think you knew that.”

He’s right, but you can still feel the crack in your heart spiderweb and spread as you hear these suspicions about Eddie confirmed.

“When was the last time?”

“The first or second night of the tour, I think.”

“Are you still drinking?” Dustin’s question makes more sense to you now. You wonder how he’d found out.

Eddie hesitates, as if fighting himself on whether to answer truthfully. “I didn’t today. It’s the first full day I’ve gone in a while. Touring is always difficult, and I’m sure you understand why this time is uh, particularly stressful.”

“Because of me.” Obviously.

“Because I know how badly I’ve hurt you, and because I know I haven’t made it up to you yet. I haven't earned your trust or even your time by any means, and I hate that you’re seeing me like this when you should be enjoying your first full US tour.” He chokes the last words out. You’ve stopped walking again, waiting at a deserted intersection, not yet ready to cross. “I’ve been fucking up recently, which is why I haven’t said anything. It’s not because I don’t want you. I want you so, so much. I just can’t do it yet.”

“Eddie,” You reach for him, and he lets you. You hold his face in your hands, feeling his flushed cheeks warm your palms as you look at him under the streetlights. “You don’t earn things like help and support, Eddie, not from people that-“ You pause. Not now, it’s not fair. “People that care about you. Thank you for telling me, I can’t imagine what you must be feeling; surrounded by triggers at all times, having to see me so much. I never would have agreed to the tour if I’d known—,“

He cuts you off, shaking his head, wafting the scent of his shampoo at you. “Don’t do that, please. This is not your fault, this is my own undoing. You are exempt from blame here.”

“I wish I’d known you were struggling. I wish I could have helped.”

Eddie traps your hands with his own on his face. “I know. I do, too.”

A sob shoves its way through your lips, and you can’t rebuild the dam fast enough. You’re crying, ugly sobbing with snot and mascara painting your face into a sad clown. It may be a cry of relief, having finally understood where your love had gone, so to speak, and seeing a glimpse of him right now. A version of Eddie happy, warm. He smiles at you, a big, beautiful smile, but his eyes are so sad. “I wish I had known to ask. Would have saved us both so much trouble.” Eddie drops his hands to your waist and pulls you closer to him, your coffee quest long forgotten. “I am so sorry.”

“Thank you.” You do not fight it, because there’s so much for him to be sorry for, regardless of if you want the apology. You trust that he means it. “I won’t push you for anything else. But I need you to ask for help, when you need it. I'm not gonna turn you away.” You wrap your arms around his torso, as physical proof of your words. You feel his arms as they surround your head, and he pulls you further into his chest. His breathing deep and even, heart beating soundly, you let yourself inhale him, indulge in his closeness even for a second. You eventually start to pull away, but he catches you, and you crane your head up to look at him, your nose inches away from his. Eddie’s eyes flick to your lips. It’s a fraction of a second, but you notice because you always do. You mimic him, flicking your eyes over his soft, pink lips and back to his deep, sweet brown eyes.

He moves first, but you’re quick to follow, and Eddie catches your lips with his, and you fight the urge to once again burst into tears. The kiss is one you haven’t felt in so long, like sleeping in your own bed after months being crammed inside a van or a two star motel. It’s a deep, yearning type of kiss you hadn’t known you were missing. Eddie moves a hand to cradle your head, like he’s holding the most valuable thing in the world. He’s gentle, almost timid, like the wrong move will ruin everything, break you both into pieces you won’t be able to fit back together. His lips are so soft, with no aggression or anxiety behind them, no nervous, frantic energy like he needs to consume you before you disappear. He takes his time, and you swim in the calm of it all. You rest your hand on his jaw, your finger lightly brushing his ear, the other stuck with your palm against his chest, squished between your bodies.

The last time Eddie kissed you like this was the day before he almost died. Before he cut that stupid sheet rope and tried to be a hero, he’d held you like you were the only thing on earth worth dying for. This time, though, there’s no rush, no impending doom to cut it short. You wonder if you’re pushing it, if this is too much for him, because it’s almost too much for you.

You pull away for a second. “Is this allowed?”

He quirks an eyebrow. “I think I know what you’re asking, but what do you mean?”

“Like, while you’re recovering. Shouldn’t you be more focused on that?”

Eddie shrugs. “Probably. And I will be. But I’m sober right now, at least, and all I can think about is you. And now you know everything, and you still kiss me like I’ve always been worthy of it. Even when I’m still not.”

“Do I really know everything now?” You lace your fingers through his and resume your walk.

He looks at you. “Do you have more questions?”

You have so many, but you’re so tired, so emotionally drained. “What do you think about, when you think about me?”

Eddie snorts a laugh at your question and you hide your face in your free hand. “Nothing good. You’re under my skin, doll. Always have been. Hey, look at that,” you look to where he’s pointing, the bright lights of the 7-Eleven store. “I’m kinda over coffee. You wanna watch a movie? For old time’s sake?” You nod wordlessly as your heart skips about, and he opens the door for you so you can grab some snacks instead.

Another hotel room, with boring white walls and bright white bed sheets. Eddie’s suitcases already sit in the corner, placed there by the hotel staff, complimentary mints on the pillows. Eddie flicks the bedside lamps on before fiddling with the remote, and you immediately realize, you’re once again without your own clothes. “Could I borrow-“ Eddie throws a shirt that lands perfectly draped over your face and you’re overwhelmed with his scent. “Thanks.” You deadpan, removing the fabric. He’s tossed a pair of his shorts onto the bed in front of you as well, and you’re silently grateful, because you wouldn’t have asked for them. He quickly flings his shirt off his head, and you watch as he swaps his jeans for a pair of worn flannel pajama pants.

Eddie then clicks the TV on, searching the channels aimlessly for something to watch before quickly giving up, muting it on a late night talk show. “How are you doing?” He’s already sprawled on the bed, resting his head in his hand to look at you, still in your clothes.

“I’m just digesting, I guess.” You face away from him to pull your sweat soaked shirt over your head and toss it on the floor, feeling his eyes on your bare back. You never wear a bra onstage, but you’re regretting it now. You yank Eddie’s shirt over your head to hide your butt as you yank your tights down, suddenly very aware of the color of your panties: red, and far too lacy for these circumstances. You yank Eddie’s boxers up your legs, and feel decent enough to face him again.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” He blurts as you slide into the space next to him, on top of the covers still.

“What do you mean?”

“After dark, sharing a bed, sharing my clothes,” He gestures to you, dressed head to toe in Eddie Couture. “Someone might see us. People are gonna start getting suspicious.”

“You think they’re not already?” You shift to lay on your side, now looking at him straight on. “We aren’t exactly being discrete as of late.”

He gives you a half shrug. “Does it bother you?”

“Does what bother me?”

“The fans, making assumptions.”

You think about your choice of words. “I thought it would. I think it bothered me more that they weren’t right.”

Eddie cracks a goofy smile, and you swat at him uselessly. “You want to be having a steamy secret affair with the douchebag frontman of Corroded Coffin?” He teases, poking at you.

“Oh, shut up.” There’s no malice in your voice. “You know what I mean. They have it all figured out. We’re together, in love, not ready to share it with the world or whatever. Much less complicated than whatever it is we’re actually doing.”

Eddie considers this for a moment. “Guess that’s true. I don’t think I could explain any of what we’re doing to Steve, let alone the public.”

You sigh. Poor, ignorant Steve. There’s only so much you’d be able to tell him for sure. “He’d have a heart attack.”

“I’ve already spooked him enough for a whole lifetime, I can’t drop this bomb on him too.”

“Let’s not worry about that. We don’t even know what we’re doing.”

“I just know I wanna keep doing it.” The way he says it sends you reeling instantly, drawing you into him, closing the distance between his lips and yours. You melt into him, wrapping your leg around his waist as he grips the flesh of your hip. Your hand slides effortlessly into his hair, tangling around your fingers, pulling a moan from Eddie’s throat as you tug him further into you. You can feel his gentry twitch in his pants, only a few thin layers of fabric separating him from your core. You roll your hips against him, sighing as his tip bumps against your clit, desperate for friction.

Eddie moves, latching his lips onto your throat causing your brain to fog. Your chest heaves as he nips at your skin, marking you, making your head swim with pleasure. You feel his fingers toying with the hem of his t-shirt, his calloused fingers sliding under the fabric to caress your skin, sending chills up and down your whole body. You shiver, and he pulls away. “Wanna stop?”

“Shouldn’t we?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

So you kiss him again, hungrier now. You help him yank his shirt over your head, abandoning it on the floor next to yours. Eddie shifts again, pressing your bare chest against his before breaking the kiss suddenly. “May I, uh,” He stutters like he’s a nervous teenager again, as if he’s seeing his first pair of boobs ever.

“Please.” You sigh, and it propels Eddie on, shifting down the bed until he’s eye level with your chest.

“God, I missed you.” He rasps, and you don’t have time to ask if he’s talking to you or your tits before he runs his tongue over your nipple, pulling a whine from your throat. You feel his other hand slide down your torso, freezing when it reaches the waistband of his boxers. “Sweetheart?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you let me take care of you?”

—

chapter XIX

haha hehe hahahahah ha ha. ha

tag list: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills @littlepotatobeansworld @poisonedluv @kellsck @m-chmcl-rmnc

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tarisilmarwen · 11 months

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Rebels Rewatch: “Spark of Rebellion”

With the Ahsoka show coming up here in August, I have just enough time for a full refresher so, you know, I Might As Well.

This is going to be different from my normal liveblogs, obviously, less real-time reactions and more commentary and meta analysis, though you’ll probably still get some incoherent nerdery and feelings spew here and there.

All right, let’s get into it.

You know with the benefit of hindsight, Vader’s speech to the Grand Inquisitor here is actually a perfect encapsulation and summary of the premise of the show.

“Hey so the Jedi are dead and the Empire reigns but the Emperor is still worried about threats to his rule, so your job is to hunt down and kill anyone a little bit too Force Sensitive and also anyone Order 66 managed to miss.”

It’s an interesting choice of phrase too.

“The Children of the Force”

Emphasizes the villainy of our bad guys in that they’re hunting down literal children and also seems to suggest some kind of protectiveness from the Force here; these are its children, people born into its “family”, so to speak.

Anyway.

OKAY WAIT NO I NEED TO STOP BECAUSE I STILL CAN’T GET OVER HOW THIS SCENE IS PARALLELED IN THE FINALE.

SHOT FOR SHOT. SHOT. FOR. SHOT.

The show opens with the “boy who was lost” and closes with the “girl who was broken”, Sabine’s move into more narrative prominence S3 onward was not a writing mistake, it was purposeful, it was deliberate, the show is their coming-of-age arc, they are co-protagonists, they are each other’s Most Important Person and have so much influence on each other’s character development and it’s reflected so perfectly in that seventy-something episodes later we’re going to see Sabine standing right here where Ezra’s standing now.

*sobs*

Okay I’m good.

Right here is also when we hear our first classic Star Wars leitmotif, as the Imperial March blares out with obnoxious brassy flair.

Followed almost immediately by the short excerpt of the Rebel Alliance theme that functions as our stinger.

(I’m going to be talking about the score A LOT this time around, better get used to it lol.)

Ugh, there was this one stupid post that was like, “What’s so bad about the Empire regulating commerce anyway? Controlling food safety is a good thing!” REGULATIONS ARE A TOOL OF THE STATE TO CONTROL ITS PEOPLE SHARON, you notice they harass this vendor specifically because he hasn’t asked permission from the oh-so-benevolent Empire to make a couple credits selling a single basket of fruit, as if that’s something the Empire needs to control, and when he dares to complain about it they immediately want to toss him in prison. That’s the epitome of petty state authoritarianism.

This is also such a wonderful character establishing moment for Ezra, because as much as he says he’s only out for himself and doesn’t stick his neck out for people the very first thing we see him doing in the show is surreptitiously sticking up for this harassed vendor.

We learn three main things here: 1. He’s clever and agile, 2. He’s a street kid trying to survive, 3. He actually really does care about people. All in less than a minute. Very tight writing.

I love the sound effect they use to signify Force use. It’s very pretty.

Aaaaand of course accompanying it, the quiet string prelude to the classic Force theme. An immediate auditory clue cueing us into the fact that Ezra is also Force Sensitive. So unconsciously, we’re already primed to expect that.

Snrk, I still love how casually Sabine tosses the grenade onto the speeder.

There’s a strechiness and elasticity to the character models here that I think they lose later, as the tone evens out into being more serious, but it’s very Disney-esque.

Actually hilarious and kind of fascinating that instead of stopping Ezra, Sabine lets him keep part of the shipment and have a fair shot at escaping.

She definitely sounds like she likes his gumption.

If no supposed to ship, why let Tiya say the line so playfully here?

Zeb’s resigned thumbs up always cracks me up.

It bears repeating but the animation? Very Disney-esque. The whole way characters move, their design, how they emote and express.

I was always particularly impressed by the hair.

Look at it.

It’s always shifting softly around Ezra’s face and blowing in the wind and reacting to his movement shafkjghkajh.

SO much better than early Clone Wars.

No, shut up, go back and watch those awkward early episodes.

The faces don’t emote.

Kanan’s fond little smile. :) He already loves that kid so much.

Again with the animation being very 2D Disney hand-drawn inspired in the way Kanan sloughs his shoulders here replying to Hera.

Hgnnnglllll the little shine in Ezra’s irises shifts like it’s an anime sparkle, I love this animation I love it I love it your Clone Wars could never.

If no supposed to ship, literally why have this moment with the classic Sees Her In Sparklevision trope? (Okay so I added the actual sparkles but still.)

Seriously Filoni. “I think there’s an automatic instinct to ship them.” WELL WITH THIS COMING DAY ONE EPISODE ONE WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?!

Hi Kallus!

Right so after this sequence where Ezra feels inexplicably guilty for not doing more to help the people of Tarkintown despite him literally only finding out they existed two minutes ago there was pretty much no way I wasn’t going to love him.

I think my brain subconsciously recognized, “Oh, he has a Hero Complex.” annnnd yep, yep, that did it, he’s my son now.

Interestingly, this is also I believe the first time we hear Ezra’s leitmotif, which like Luke’s theme is primarily in brass but in a minor key, slower, more somber, more introspective, almost a thematic foil to the adventurous bold excitement of Luke’s theme.

Luke’s theme, AKA the Star Wars Main Title theme, by the way, is primarily used throughout Rebels to denote heroism. Typically it comes in whenever we have a Gunship Rescue from the Ghost or some other kind of Big Damn Heroes moment.

Side note appreciating the animation again, the storyboarding and blocking is very cinematic. The camera moves as it might on a modern Hollywood production instead of a weekly TV serial, which I think helps makes Rebels feel closer to the Original Trilogy.

And here the full Force theme breaks through. :)

Note: At this point, behind the scenes, Hera and Kanan have already discussed Ezra’s potential Force Sensitivity, and agreed to test him. I am still sorely in need of fanfics that cover that conversation. Just saying.

AGAIN. WRITERS. YOU NEED TO BE A LITTLE MORE AWARE OF JUST HOW SHIPPY THINGS COME ACROSS BETWEEN EZRA AND SABINE THIS FIRST EPISODE.

Like, there’s a reason why this conversation and footage is used in a million Sabezra amvs.

Ezra rubbing his hand on his neck, Sabine’s soft looks of concern at him, how warmly she finally reciprocates on telling him her name...

(Also notice how Ezra, empath that he is, immediately cottons onto the fact that Sabine considers the Ghost crew her family and discerns that something or other happened to her bio family.)

Gremlin child Ezra. <3

I’m sorry, I just noticed this:

What is that look, Sabine? Lolol.

Hera going into Mom Mode immediately. Her cheeky look back at Kanan, lol, she knows exactly what she’s doing.

Edgy TWC bros complained so much about the humor in early Season One and I say they have no taste, “rare hairless Wookie” is hilarious.

Part Twooooooooo!

For all his bluster and his devil may care facade, Ezra had that Jedi compassion and drive in him from the very start, I will hear NO slander otherwise.

Something in this escape sequence I absolutely love? Ezra clinging to Zeb’s back. Just the way he grabs Zeb’s legs and climbs him like a feral cat. And Zeb does not appreciate it lol.

Oh hey, we’re at The Scene That Basically Sealed Ezra As Tari’s New Favorite Whump Target.

Yeah, protip to all showrunners, you put an emotionally vulnerable young male protagonist in mortal peril and you basically guarantee that I will obsess and fixate on them forever.

EVERY SINGLE FRAME OF THIS SHOT IS MORE HEARTBREAKING THAN THE LAST.

Hngl and you can hear him hyperventilating too ow my heart.

A brief excerpt of Ezra’s theme plays right here too, as if to compound Zeb’s guilt about the whole thing lol.

Like the score itself is saying, “HEY AREN’T YOU MISSING SOMEONE?!”

Sabine automatically assuming Zeb did something to Ezra. <3

Hera full-naming Zeb. <333333

A couple people pointed out before that Ezra flinches pretty noticably when Kallus reaches for him, and Kallus definitely marks that reaction with his eyes. It’s such a quick little sequence but it’s fascinating in the layers it suggests.

I reiterate: The subtle facial animation is this show is fantastic. The minute little emotions that you can pick up tell so much story.

Chopper voting with Hera to go back for Ezra. <333333333333333 The murder hobo does have a heart.

I love the little sideglance these troopers give each other after Ezra seals them in. You can’t even see their faces but you know they’re chagrined all, “Oh. Ohhhh we’re in so much trouble.”

And the joke is even followed up on when Kallus demands to know how Ezra escaped and this poor dude just has all the notes of, “This is the worst day of my life.” in his voice lololol.

I gotta gives props to Taylor Gray, he pulls off Ezra’s impersonations really well.

So how much do you want to bet Kallus had unfortunate flashbacks every time one of Sabine’s bombs threw him?

“I’m sure your parents must be worried sick.” “I don’t have parents.”

*URGE TO ADOPT HIM INTENSIFIES*

(Also, same, Hera, same.)

Speaking of entire stories being told in the subtle expressions...

Tangenting here a little bit, I’ve seen more than one bad faith reading chiding Kanan and especially Hera for “manipulating Ezra into being a child soldier” and hnnghghghgkjgdksh could you guys have any worse comprehension?

Ezra’s fate, narratively and meta-textually speaking, was sealed the moment he volunteered the information about the Wookies and actively took part in their rescue. He didn’t have to do any of that. He could have stayed quiet. He didn’t. He could have made Hera drop him off first. He didn’t. He could have stayed on the ship the whole rescue. He didn’t. And yeah, some of the reason why is because Hera told him it was better to fight for others than only for himself, but also have you considered that Ezra maybe is just that selfless at heart?

(See above where his Establishing Character Moment was saving that fruit vendor.)

ANYWAY, if he hadn’t done any of that, Kallus would have never seen him leap far higher than he was supposed to be able to, and would never have marked him as a Force Sensitive, would never have alerted the Inquisitor to him and basically marked him as a target.

Any time the local Lothal garrison spotted him, their impetus would be his capture and/or extermination. Ditto for when news eventually reached the Inquisitorius.

The safest place for him was absolutely staying with the Ghost (where he could be trained to protect himself) and they even gave him the choice about it.

To say that he was manipulated or guilted by Hera into following instincts that were already inside him denies Ezra his narrative agency; he chose to become a Rebel and fight against the Empire. Hera might have awakened his heroism but it was Ezra who Answered The Call.

All right, tangent over.

Oh ho man, you can tell they went into this with zero plans to redeem Kallus.

I mean, I’m glad that it happened, I definitely enjoy that aspect of his character. But there was noooooo groundwork laid for it in these early episodes lol.

Writers got halfway in and realized, “Shit, we like him.” and then had to scramble to come up with something, which, I mean... I relate.

Ah, here’s what I mean when I say Luke’s theme is used primarily as a shorthand for the element of heroism.

And for an example of what I’m talking about re: cinematic camera motion, there’s the bit right where the crew charges out of the cargo hold onto the platform on Kessel. The camera is behind our subjects and instead of immediately cutting to an exterior shot (which would be perfectly acceptable), instead it sort of rolls out behind them, pushing down and forward with them, for a more dynamic shot.

Add several tracking shots after that, that basically follow specific characters, and with that simple cinema magic, the action sequence feels more frenetic and energized.

Gosh, Ezra was so tiny back in Season One.

I do like this cue right here, when the Imperial ship drops in, don’t know if it’s generic action filler or it becomes a leitmotif later, will have to pay attention I guess.

With context from A New Dawn, we know that Kanan has not ignited his lightsaber since Order 66, though he apparently came pretty close it in that book. I just find it rather beautiful and poetic that the Force tells him it’s time right when he has a padawan to protect. :)

And this reveal is still excellently done, fine candidate for my personal No Context Signature Scene Test (that being a scene which, when shown in isolation, showcases off the best of a movie or show and entices watchers to check out the rest, it must do a good job of selling the work, essentially).

POV shot as Kanan stands up out of cover, cut to in front of him, the action music drops out and fades into the Force Theme and Kanan just kind of... casually walks through shots, leaning around them, the sound gets muted slightly, we get the gunslinger shot of the lightsaber pieces clicking together and then the Force Theme gets a bass drum flare to emphasize the moment. Awed looks from everyone. A triumphant musical cue.

Even Kallus is unnerved for a second lol.

And I love the verbal hesitation when he says, “Focus your fire on... on the Jedi.” like he can’t even believe he’s saying that.

Is it any wonder why I love the whole Rebellion Era Jedi aesthetic? It does such a good job of encapsulating pure eucatastrophe, the sudden happy turn for good, a beacon of light and hope breaking through the darkness and despair.

The Wookies look at Kanan like a living legend has stepped out of the pages of their storybooks.

HNGH no one touch me.

And of course, Kanan stepping up immediately inspires Ezra to do the same, I love these two so much.

Wilhelm scream, lol.

See people, Kallus already associates Ezra with Kanan and has marked them as a master-padawan pair, there was no chance Ezra was going to just be able to keep his head down and live his life after this.

And again with the subtle expressions, there’s just a flash of sadness from Ezra here as he watches Kitwarr reunite with his dad, HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE HOW UTTERLY EXPRESSIVE THE FACES ARE IN THIS SHOW?

I do kind of wonder what made Ezra decide to swipe Kanan’s lightsaber.

He had a thought to sell the holocron but honestly it seems like he wanted to keep the saber. As a keepsake? To use?

Honestly though I love it when writers have Force Sensitives just kind of compulsively drawn to Jedi artifacts and tools. Like some part of them is called by the Force within the items.

There’s a really cute, almost shy way that Sabine ducks into her shoulders here. I see it in amvs all the time but no one ever really talks about it.

I mean, along with Chopper’s sad little moan I think it’s meant to convey that they’re already fond of him and regret him having to leave.

Chopper loved Ezra from the beginning and only gave him grief because that’s how he shows affection change my mind.

Ezra does not take Zeb’s playful hit well, flinches like he did with Kallus. Of course later he’d get used to it but right now Ezra definitely does not associate roughhousing with affection.

Ezra gets so timid in his body language here.

I... I would really love to know how Kanan got up the tower. Where exactly is the turbolift in this thing? Is it in Ezra’s room? How’d Kanan sneak past?

I know we’re meant to believe Kanan is physically there and just Batmans in and out but honestly I don’t blame the people with the wild theory that Ezra’s having a vision of Kanan in this moment.

Speaking of Ezra’s timid body language, have you noticed how often he crosses his arms, in an insecure kind of self-protective fashion? This all but goes away in the later seasons as he grows up.

Aaaaaand we hear a snatch of Leia’s theme as Obi-Wan’s message plays again, a little musical Call Forward to the princess’s iconic plea for help perhaps?

Interestingly it fades into a very understated version of Luke’s theme, without the full orchestral accompaniment, just a single trumpet and then some quiet strings playing the notes.

I’m going to have to pay attention but I’m tentatively hypothesizing that Leia’s theme will primarily represent the aspect of hope in the series, to accompany Luke’s representing the idea of heroism.

Hope and heroism, two classic archthemes of Star Wars, lol.

Maybe it’s fitting that Ezra’s theme kind of blends the feel of both of the twins’.

On a completely different note, nice to see composer Kiner keeping in the tradition of assigning the Ominous Latin Chorus to the villains, lol.

I like Grand’s theme, it’s reminiscent of the Emperor’s, all bass male voices and dark minor chords in the strings.

I warned y’all I was gonna be talking about the soundtrack a lot in these.

And that’s the pilot premiere down. Some people said they found it hard to get into the series at first, but I was never one of them, the pilot had me hooked from the get go. Granted it was my birthday and I was a bit, ah... sloshed at the time.

Still, there was pretty much no way I wasn’t going to be into this show. The classic Star Wars feel, the lovely animation, the fact that Ezra was basically exactly My Type... (Orphan, tragic backstory, Hero Complex, heartwarming relationship with (surrogate) father figure, this boy was ticking off boxes left and right lemme tell ya.)

Pilot still holds up. Not every show’s first episode does but this one does.

This was a fun exercise. I think I’m going to try to knock one of these out a day at a time until Ahsoka drops, maybe not as in-depth and rambly as this one, but we’ll see.

Until tomorrow then.

#star wars #star wars rebels #ezra bridger #sabezra #space dad and his precious pumpkin child #liveblog #rebels rewatch #music #soundtracks #tari has a type and apparently it is shonen #your clone wars could never #agent kallus

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not-so-lost-after-all · 8 months

Text

This was a catastrophy...

It started as a joke, though. She told Astarion about Halsin's proposal with a good-natured shake of her head. He started laughing, his usual thetrical self. “He just can't shut up about the freedoms of nature. Darling, you can have as much Halsin as you want.”

There was cold wave all across her body. She stopped her steps, inclining her head and met his eyes. “Is that so?” she said, casually for now.

“Well, if you'd like me to join in, that would indeed cross the line,” he frowned a little. “But I must ask, is that because... you know... we haven't in a while.”

“Gods, give me strenght,” she gritted her teeth.

(Shadowheart chuckled. “I just wonder what exactly you try to achieve here. You want to turn him into someone who can understand how people actually care about each other sometimes? Someone who won't get stabbed within a week on his own? He won't change. Most likely even can't anymore.")

Suddenly the bile inside was on her tongue, overflowing. Esipre was so tired and even viciously glad she didn't care if the words are cutting anymore. “Of course it is, what other reason could I possibly have to go with him? And I don't ask for any permission.”

His eyes widened. Oh, that hurt. It was easy to be mean to him. Cruel, even. “Then have fun, I suppose, my dear.” There was tremor in his voice he didn't bother to hide. No mockery followed, now that was something. But she was not in the mood to coddle him, hug him or kiss him.

“It was never my intention to sleep with him. I told him no because I know it would sting you no matter what you say. I understand why I gave you the impression but you should have known me better by now. You never listen or ask, you only want.”

She never saw her own reflection in his eyes, she only seemed reborn in them in a twisted form. She hardly recognized herself whenever he depicted her character. And yet, wasn't there a grain of beastly truth in his words?

He whispered her name and she knew if she stops for a moment, it would pierce through her heart again.

“I'm not done here. I thought that in recent weeks, I gave you enough to earn if not love, then at least your trust. My blood, protection, warm body during the night, the truth about your scars, the way back to our city - why wasn't it enough? Gods above, anyone else in our merry band would be less demanding and more giving.”

(“That's wonderful lets get married and have kids look, Gale. But I'm afraid you're looking in the wrong direction.”)

And then, the ace from her pocket. “If you think so low of me, then perhaps you also think that if it was Cazador with us instead of you and told me about his sad story, I would spread my legs and offer my neck to him too?”

Astarion took a step back with a jerk. “Don't say that, don't you ever joke about that,” he hissed with both anger and frustrated hurt.

She went way too far, she knew. Esipre closed her eyes for a few beats of her racing heart. It helped. She was a leader, not someone's bitter neglected wife, dammit.

“I'm sorry, that was a low blow. But I'm scared and tired too, you know,” she finished with hollow voice. With a wave of her hand, she left. Mercifully, he didn't follow her.

---

That was a catastrophy...

He simply tried to not stand in her way, to please her, to make her stick around. Now he wondered whether she returned to Halsin or not. It was already dark, everybody already resting at the inn, only Esipre was missing. He found her outside, hunched by the fire, cross-legged and with a bottle of wine. She was so small and perhaps for the first time he noticed the toll this little adventure was taking on her.

“May I?” he started.

“I'm afraid I would be no fun tonight. Perhaps go talk with Lae'zel about our glorious slaughter today? Flirt with Wyll maybe? Whatever. I already told you...”

“That you're going to help me. Yes, you repeated it several times already. I'd rather be sulking in your company if I may.”

He didn't wait for the answer. He quickly found himself with his head in her lap. Like some tamed wolf, he thought. Perhaps that's fitting and strangely he doesn't even mind. Esipre looked at him in displeasure and pressed her lips together but didn't stop him or yell at him.

“Please be patient, you know I'm still learning. If you want me to ask something, I wouldn't even know where to start.”

She laid one hand on his chest but barely met his eyes. “Fine,” he sighed. “Why are you here and not inside with the others?”

“It was wonderful here, without any words. Inside... Everyone wants a piece.”

“And I want the biggest piece of you, of course, until there's nothing left. Why?”

She took a sharp breath and then the words came like a flood. She never was lady enough for her noble mother, savvy enough for her noble father, a piece of furniture for her step mother. Even on the streets she got herself almost killed several times and the few times she sold her body she was so miserable she made the others miserable too. Not good enough of a wizard, never had the time and money before. Not good enough of a friend to not sell her companions to the law or lowlives several times to save her own skin. Never enough. She wanted to not fail everyone just for once. “See, you're not the only one wearing a mask.”

“You're doing great job, darling. Barely any of us died so far. Some of us are even better off now. You've grown so much and maybe you should trust our companions that they know what they're doing when they decided to follow you.” He grinned widely. “Am I doing it correctly?”

She laughed and nodded. There was that light in her eyes again.

“Anyway, whatever happens, I want to thank you for that look. You always brighten up when you stare at me. Nobody ever looked at me like this. I... just wanted you to know that,” he kissed her wrist reverently

Perhaps, just for once, gods actually sent him a blessing.

#astarion #astarion x tav #my writing

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that-damn-fouth-chaosemerald · 8 months

Note

Hi, if you still take requests I have an idea.

Cartman x Reader. Basically he becomes obsessed with reader, and kidnaps them so he can keep them all to himself.

I know it's stupid, but I just thought it was interesting, and in character.

You don't have to do this one if you don't want to. Also sorry if the idea seems creepy or disturbing.

Thanks for reading if you did! :)

—❢—

×A/N×

Sorry for the long wait-

I wrote headcanons, because you didn't say anything about the type-

And my best and fastest writing work is usally headcanons so- lol

I hope you don't mind it! :")

×❢ About my work ❢×

no fluff, kidnapping, stalking, unhealthy relationship, petnames, no one dies, jealous Cartman, mention of self harm

Type: Headcanons

Fandom: South Park

Ship(s): only Cartman x reader

Character(s): Eric Cartman, You/The Reader/Y/N, Butters Scotch (mentioned), Kyle Broflovski (mentioned)

—❢—

(𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞?) 𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

(The picture is not mine!)

𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈: Notice Me Senpai by iHasCupquake

“Senpai, I saw you at school today

Took your picture then I snuck away

I want you to notice me

but I'm just someone you don't notice still

I think I've got a rival I have to kill”

• he wasn't that kind of a person who falls people hard

• but you

• oh my gosh when he noticed your beautiful smile

• he felt as his heart missed a beat

• something got him

• damn, you were so beautiful

• too beautiful for the others...

• he gets jealous everytime when somebody speaks to you

• he will totally give a death stare or something like that

• (oh my gosh, poor Kyle and Butters)

• (and ofc the others)

• he will threat the person who talked to you

• he doesn't fear of they will tell you and you will think that he is a weirdo and etc.

• he doesn't fear of this, because he knows that they won't say anything – or even talk with you

• because he said so

• he will hurt you just to make sure that his plans go well

• he won't be scared to follow you

• when he can't hold himself any longer

• he will kidnap you

• he will definitely keep you in the basement

• just you and him.

• it's perfect.

• "You are so beautiful, Darling."

• he won't torture you

• he let you to take a bath, use the restroom, bring to you the meal and make for you a comfy bed

• he even makes or brings you your favourite food, drink, dessert, etc.

• he hates just one thing

• when you speak

• ofc, he will need the "yes, sir" answer when he asks "do you understand me?" or something like that

• but otherwise a "hm" will be enough for him

• will ask for kisses

• and will give you plushies for sleeping

• you have to ask permission before you do something

• "No, I didn't lock you. I just keep you safe, hon"

• he won't let you to harm yourself

• "Aww, don't do that, Honey." he looked at the scars that you made for yourself with the rope, after that he got you some medication.

• he won't let you go to go outside

• and if you try to escape

• oh my gosh, just don't.

• "Don't test me, dear." he said with a cold smile on his face as he squeezed your wrist threateningly.

#south park #south park x reader #sp x reader #sp #Eric Cartman #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman x y/n #eric cartman x you #eric cartman south park #eric cartman sp #cartman x reader #Cartman south park #x reader

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hyenahunt · 2 years

Text

Obbligato: The Devotion to Tatsumi Kazehaya - 3

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring, three years ago

Characters: Jun, Ibara

Proofreading: 310mc (JP) & Skyress (ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt & Peace

Jun: (Mm? What's up with this dude? He's the same age as me and all but he freakin' just whipped out his business card to give to me...?)

Jun: (Aw man, and it's my lunch break and all, too.)

(Kazehaya-senpai said he wanted to talk alone with Kaname Tojo — wait, I gotta call him HiMERU now, huh?)

(He then shooed everyone out, so we can't get back into the Labour Camp. Not that he shouldn't have done that, but now I'm in trouble.)

(I was totally counting on Kazehaya-senpai to cook us lunch, so I don't have anything prepped for myself.)

(Welp, there's no other option. Non-Special students aren't allowed off-campus without written permission...)

(If you pop out even just for a lil' while, you'll be called a deserter and get chewed out for it.)

(But I can't do anything on an empty stomach, so maybe I'll pop over to a corner store or something. It's pretty far, though. Why the hell did they put Reimei Academy in such a remote place...)

(It'd be fine if we could just get food normally within the school... Maybe all the school shops are in on it together, but if you don't have a Special Student discount then the prices are insanely high for people like us.)

(Pisses the hell outta me that there's an obvious difference even in something like that. ...Hm?)

(Huh? Is it just me or is that some smoke over there...?)

Jun: No way, is there a fire? Oh shit, where's the fire extinguisher...!?

— Wait, huh? Heeey, aren'tcha Tojo-senpai?

W-why're you having a bonfire in a place like this...? I thought there was a fire accident, and I totally panicked~!

Ahh, c'mon, like I said, you don't gotta go bowing so low to me. I'm not someone of any importance. I mean, I'm a Non-Special Student, so I'm a freshman at the bottom of the barrel.

Huh? You rank even lower than me? Whaddya mean by that?

Well, nevermind that. Now that I'm getting a closer look, you've got a grill set up over the fire with some tasty-lookin' meat and veggies frying away on top of it, don'tcha! Could I have a bite~?

Truth is, a whole buncha stuff happened, so at this rate I'm gonna miss out on lunch. I'm kinda stuck.

Jun: Ahh, you're okay with it? Then I'll take you up on that — thanks for the meal~!

Hehe, I already thought so back when we first met, but you're a nice guy, Tojo-senpai. Even if the things you do can be a lil' cryptic.

Speaking of which, what do you normally do and where d'you hang out? I've never seen you in the Labour Camp or any of the Non-Special Student classrooms, so does that mean you're a Special Student?

No? You're not a part of the classification system? The hell does that mean?

Ahh, I'm not telling you off or anything... Sorry for both my bad manners and attitude, especially when you're even my senior, too.

Ah, right. I'll have some meat, thanks. What a treat.

Nom, nom. Tastes great! But what kinda meat is it...?

Ah, I've actually been wanting to ask... D'you know a guy called Kaname Tojo? Is he your relative or something?

I've just been thinking you seem oddly alike, y'see... Like your faces and your family names... To the point where I don't think it's just an uncanny resemblance, I guess.

— Woah!?

W-what was that? Things just keep happening!

Ibara: I do beg your pardon! The two of you don't happen to be injured, do you?

Jun: (The hell? What's with this fancy car? It came careening towards us with a crazy amount of force...!)

Ibara: I am so terribly sorry! I would never have imagined there would be anyone sitting on the ground in a place like this having a meal, you understand!

As a result, we drove right into you — how careless of us! Rest assured that I will have a stern word with my chauffeur afterwards. You have my utmost apologies!

Jun: 'Scuse me? And for that matter, who exactly are you? That's not our school's uniform, is it...?

Ibara: Ahh, my apologies for not saying anything sooner! This is who I am!

Jun: (Mm? What's up with this dude? He's the same age as me and all but he freakin' just whipped out his business card to give to me...?)

(Let's see what it says... [Shuuetsu Academy — First Year Student / Special Student Ibara Saegusa]...? How do I read this... Nana... tane... something? What a weird-ass name! This a stage name, too?)[1]

(And hang on, I'm pretty sure Shuuetsu's the elite school full of only Special Students.)

(It cherrypicks only "the absolute best idols" from the CosPro-affiliated schools around the nation.)

(So that's where this guy's from? And he's in the same year as me? This guy might as well be nobility with how different the worlds we live in are, huh?)

Ibara: Now, I beg your pardon but I have somewhere I simply must be, so do excuse me! If you would like to get in touch with me for any reason, please refer to the address upon that card!

With that, I shall be taking my leave! Once again, I am so terribly sorry!

Jun: (Haha. He just sped off in his fancy car without even sparing us another glance. So we're not even worth his time? Pisses me the hell off.)

Jun: (What's so fucking different between me and him, huh? Damn him to hell.)

✦✦✦✦✦

Nanatane is an alternate reading of the kanji in Saegusa (七種).

← prev ✦ all ✦ next →

#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars translation #s: obbligato #jun sazanami #tatsumi kazehaya #hyenahunttl #ibara saegusa

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fangirlwriting-stories · 11 months

Text

They Say You Can’t Fight Fate (I Say Fucking Watch Me)

Chapter One

Chapter Four:

They spent the next day getting Roman’s car back (which was still in good condition, just needed adjustments after driving so long on the road), and then exploring.

The town was pretty small, but there still seemed plenty to do. Granted, Remus was used to far less to do, but there were still a couple bookstores, some good looking restaurants, a cinema, and, what Remus would have made them leave if they didn’t have, a rage room.

They both headed there first, and walked in to find two employees arguing behind the desk.

“No, no, shut up, shut up and listen, are you listening to me?” said the one with purple hair. “I will put up with a lot of shit from you, but I am not going to sit here and take this!”

“Well excuse me,” the other one said, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion.”

“You aren’t if your opinion is fucking stupid!”

Roman cleared his throat awkwardly. “Um, hi?” he said.

To Remus’ eternal delight, the purple one turned to face him, held up a finger and said “Hang on,” then turned right back to the other one.

“Now listen,” he said. “And tell me, Janus. Have you ever run for your life?”

“Janus” said nothing.

“Well, have you?”

“You told me to listen,” Janus said. “Do you want me to listen or do you want me to answer your questions?”

“I swear to god Janus,” the purple-haired one said, as Remus leaned forward, absolutely riveted.

“It doesn’t even matter Virgil, because we’re not talking about real life, we’re talking about fiction, and that gives me free reign to judge whoever I want.”

“Have you. Ever. Run for your life?”

Janus threw his hands up. “No! Obviously I haven’t, Virgil!”

“Well then how do you know you wouldn’t be exactly as stupid as a horror movie character?”

“Because I have a functioning head,” Janus groaned, looking up at the ceiling.

“Do you know how much head function goes out the window when you’re running from a man with a chainsaw?”

“Uh, hey,” Roman said, drawing both of their attention. “Are you going to let us in?”

“Shh-shh,” Remus said, putting a finger up to Roman’s mouth. “I want to hear this.”

Thankfully, the other two seemed to take Remus’ interest as all the permission they needed, because they went right back to arguing, and Remus walked forward to lean on the desk and watch.

“I don’t know what to tell you Virgil, you’re not going to convince me of this,” Janus said. “I don’t care how much psychology is behind it. It’s a story, it doesn’t have to be realistic.”

“Yes it does,” Virgil snapped, looking up at the ceiling. “It doesn’t have to be reality, but it needs to be believable!”

“I’m sorry, what is the criticism launched at horror movies so often it’s become a joke all on it’s own?”

“Janus—”

“Isn’t it something about the characters making stupid unbelievable decisions? No, wait, that couldn’t be it, because that would mean you’re a moron who’s making a stupid argument.”

“I’m going to strangle you,” Virgil growled.

“Look, the way I see it, we’re diametrically opposed on this anyway,” Janus said with a shrug. “Seems like we need outside input. You want to ask the customers here?”

“Oh please leave me out of this,” Roman said, backing up.

“I think you’re both right but for the wrong reasons,” Remus said with a delighted grin. “Yes, human reasoning goes out the window when someone’s chasing you with a chainsaw. But also, it’s funnier if the characters are stupid.”

Virgil turned to stare at him. “It’s a horror movie. It’s not meant to be funny.”

“Is it not? I’ve never actually seen one of those. Not by lack of trying, it was apparently just too much on my delicate mental state. But I don’t know, the idea of people running screaming from a guy with a chainsaw like that’s not gonna make them easier to find sounds hilarious, in my opinion. Anyway, can you let us in so we can break a bunch of shit?”

Now both of them were looking at him in confusion, but after a second, Virgil sighed. “Fine. I guess since no one is going to listen to reason anyway,” he said in annoyance. “Are you both eighteen?”

“Yep,” Remus lied instantly.

“Cool. Don’t damage the structure of the room, just the items inside it. You can hit stuff against the walls as long as it’s not hard enough to make holes in them. Make sure you’re wearing shoes if you break anything glass. Janus will take you to grab your safety gear. Are either of you intoxicated, sick, injured, or pregnant?”

“I’m pregnant,” Remus said instantly, as Roman groaned and buried his head in his hands in the background. Remus had a similar response the last time they went to a rage room.

“Congratulations,” Virgil deadpanned, sliding two liability waivers across the table. “That’ll be 60 bucks for each of you.”

“Great, put it on our parents’ stolen credit cards,” Remus said, fishing one out of his pocket and passing it across the counter.

Virgil stared at him for a second, seeming vaguely suspicious, which was an interesting reaction, since Remus had just said out loud the cards were stolen. Janus, on the other hand, was smiling at him, appearing closer to intrigued.

“You got it,” he said, taking the card from Remus and running it through before passing it back to him. “Lets go get your safety gear.”

Remus grinned at him, and he and Roman both followed Janus back into another room, where Janus gave them both eye protection, coveralls to change into, and gloves.

Remus had been to a rage room once before, but the feeling had been totally different. He’d spent the time smashing TVs and vases in an effort to get some kind of, well, rage, out at his situation and everything he was going through. And it had felt amazing in the moment, but then he’d gone back to the mental hospital and everything had just felt more insurmountable.

This time, however, as soon as Remus walked into the room, he started looking around in delight at everything there. The second Janus closed the door, he ran over and smashed a hole into a TV screen. Roman laughed in delight behind him and went to do a similar thing to a TV nearby.

Remus whacked his TV several more times, then turned to cause a good amount of damage to an empty bookshelf. When he’d hit that enough times, he turned to several decorative vases. When those were appropriately shattered, he moved over to a pile of cords and headphones.

And rather than anger like the last time he’d been to a place like this, the whole time he felt like he was shaking with adrenaline and mania and joy. Roman was taking out a fair bit of items with just as much energy, and near the end of their hour-long session, they both ended up in the middle of the room, surrounded by broken and shattered objects, with grins that were way too wide.

Remus looked around for a second, then started laughing. Roman started laughing a second later, and they both ended up on the floor, laying down in a relatively clean area and staring up at the ceiling.

“Fuck,” Remus said.

“Yeah,” Roman agreed.

“I liked that better than last time,” Remus said.

“Me too,” Roman said. “I pretended all of the stuff I smashed was Mom and Dad or one of your orderlies.”

“Fuck,” Remus realized, turning to look at him. “Why didn’t I think of that? We have to come back now.”

Roman laughed. “You think Mom and Dad will be cool with us maxing out their credit cards on rage rooms?”

“I don’t know,” Remus said, turning back to the ceiling. “But I think I have a better idea.”

…

Virgil and Janus were surprisingly willing to hire the two of them. Apparently they didn’t have a ton of employees right now, and two more would boost the hours they could be open, since Virgil and Janus could only work when they weren’t in class. They were both a few years older than Roman and Remus, and trying to work their way through community college.

So now, when he and Roman weren’t apartment shopping or going on drives through the area around town or trying to figure out how the hell they were going to afford not dying, they were working at the rage room, usually with Janus and Virgil for now, since they were new and still learning some things.

Remus liked Virgil and Janus. They didn’t ask too many questions and bought that Remus and Roman were both eighteen without asking to see an ID. (Well, they were close, so Remus could understand why they bought it. He and Roman both looked a little old for their age, you could blame the trauma, and they’d only have to last until June before they wouldn’t have to lie anymore at all. But it was still nice that neither Janus or Virgil pushed too hard.)

Janus shared Remus’ tendency for chaos, and he’d introduced Remus to spray paint art. Just on plywood that was going to get smashed in one of their rooms, so far, but Remus loved it all the same, and he sure Janus would be down to spraypaint in slightly-less-legal places one of these days. It would be Remus’ first crime! He was a little embarrassed it had taken him this long to commit one, but the orderlies had watched him too closely for him to get away with much back at the institute. Janus was clearly experienced, though. He said he knew how to spraypaint, and shoplift (which Remus and Roman should both probably learn just for survival reasons), and Remus could never be quite sure if he was joking when he said he’d gotten away with arson once.

Janus talked with Roman about theatre and acting, which was clearly less superior to his conversations with Remus, but that was okay. Roman could keep Janus’ boring half, as long as Remus got to have fun with him.

Virgil was a little less out there overall, but he still got approval from Remus once he brought in his whole collection of horror movies for the two of them to watch in the back when they didn’t have customers. Unsurprisingly, Remus decided he liked the super gorey fucked up ones the most, though he did ask Virgil to steer clear anything with mental hospitals or crazy people. Virgil, thankfully, didn’t ask. Remus liked that quality of his more every day.

In what was more of a surprise, horror-movie enthusiast Virgil also loved Disney just like Roman. The two of them spent hours talking about it and debating it— apparently they liked it for very different reasons. Roman liked the mushy gushy happy fairy tale aspect like a loser, and Virgil, in what Remus could almost respect, liked the darker undertones and weird messed up messages that could be found throughout the movies. They both went back and forth on this topic often.

And unfortunately, it was during one of these debates that they ended up on a topic neither Remus or Roman liked.

“See, that’s another thing about The Lion King. I can’t decide whether they should have added soulmates or not,” Virgil said, waving his hand dismissively as he scribbled down something on the inventory sheet. “Like yeah, as far as we know animals don’t have soulmates, but if they’re going to be humanizing the characters to such an extent anyway, it’s at least worth thinking about.”

Remus exchanged a glance with Roman, who rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know,” he said without looking at Virgil. “Honestly, the romance wasn’t my favorite part of the movie.”

“Oh yeah, me neither obviously,” Virgil said. “That’s hardly the only great thing about it. It just could have made Simba and Nala’s relationship different is all I’m thinking.”

Roman didn’t reply this time, and after a second Virgil seemed to take notice and glanced back up. He paused and stood up straighter when he noticed both of their faces.

“Wait, did I touch a nerve or something?” he asked, setting the inventory sheet down.

“Don’t worry about it,” Roman said, but he turned away, and Remus looked down at his hands and started to fidget.

“Oh shit, I really did,” Virgil said. “I’m sorry. I got it, soulmates are off limits.”

“It’s not that, it’s just…” Roman said hesitantly, but he trailed off. Remus glanced up at him, and he glanced back again.

“Dude, you don’t need to explain,” Virgil said. “It’s okay. If you don’t want to talk about it, we won’t talk about it. Anyway, obviously Be Prepared is Disney’s best villain song, but do you have a preference in regards to the second best? I’m torn between Poor Unfortunate Souls and The Mob Song from Beauty and The Beast.”

Remus glanced over at Virgil, surprised to find him moving on so comfortably. He really didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Granted, Remus didn’t have much of a perspective on how important soulmates were in general society, but it was all anyone ever seemed to talk to him about growing up. He wasn’t expecting Virgil to be so comfortable writing it off as a subject entirely.

“Uh,” Roman said, seeming just as caught off guard as Remus was. “I think I prefer The Mob Song. It’s a good cautionary tale about thinking critically. Sorry, I need to back up for a second. You’re just okay with not talking about soulmates? At all?”

Virgil looked back over at him. “Yeah. Is that bad? You didn’t seem to want me to.”

“But…” Roman glanced over at Remus again. Remus shrugged.

“It’s just not usually something we get to wiggle our way out of,” Remus said, turning back to Virgil. “It’s, you know, soulmates. We always have to deal with it.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Always? What soulmate obsessed nuthouse did you grow up in?”

Remus flinched hard, taking a couple steps back, and Roman stepped closer to him.

“None of your business,” Roman snapped at Virgil, who was now looking thoroughly confused and a little offended.

“Dude, you’re the ones who keep bringing it up now,” Virgil said, holding up his hands. “I was totally cool dropping it and moving on.”

“I’m taking my break,” Remus said, turning around and running off before either of them could say anything else.

Instead of the break room, however, he headed straight for the employee bathroom and locked himself inside. Thankfully, it was a single person bathroom, meaning Remus was free to slide down to the floor and slam his head back against the door and slow his breathing without anyone watching him.

Virgil was going to figure it out now, and then he was going to call Remus’ nuthouse and get him shipped back there and Remus couldn’t take going back there. He’d rather die, and that was not hyperbole.

A knock came at the door. “Remus?” Roman called. “Remus, it’s okay. It’s just me. Virgil’s not here.”

Remus reached up and turned the handle just enough so the door would unlock, then scooted forward so Roman could open the door and buried his head in his knees.

“Hey,” Roman said, locking the door behind him and moving around to kneel in front of Remus.

“This is the stupidest fucking freak out of all time,” Remus said into his pants. “He literally fucking said we didn’t have to talk about it and then we didn’t shut up about it.”

“It’s… new,” Roman said hesitantly, putting a hand on Remus’ arm. “It’s okay. We’re figuring this out together, remember?”

Remus mumbled some kind of weak affirmation, because Roman was right but also he wasn’t doing so hot.

Roman squeezed his arm gently. “Re? Can I help you somehow?”

Remus pulled his head up. “Can you tell me I’m okay?”

Roman’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Can you say it anyway?” Remus said, answering his unasked question with another question. “Even though I’m kind of not?”

Roman nodded, and pulled Remus forward into a hug. “You’re okay, Remus,” he said. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Remus took a deep breath in and wrapped his arms around Roman. And for a while, they sat there breathing.

…

They explained some of it to Virgil, afterwards. Or, well, they explained it but they didn’t. They told him that the two of them were platonic soulmates, and most people where they’d come from had been super not okay with that, and they were used to some kind of angry or condescending reaction when they explained.

Virgil said, again, that he got it, and they didn’t have to talk about it, which he’d apparently meant the first time. He also offered to tell Janus so they didn’t have to have a repeat of the conversation, which they took him up on.

So after that, they had a job in a cool place with cool people, who were really actually okay with not talking about soulmates. And Remus was pretty sure it was still going to take him a while to get used to that, but that was okay. They weren’t in a rush.

...

Chapter Five

#sanders sides #remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #Janus Sanders #creativitwins #platonic dukexiety #platonic prinxiety #platonic dukeceit #platonic roceit #my fic

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