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himbogiants · 11 months

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What's the best thing to do when stressed about exams? Study? No. Write a g/t story until 4 in the morning? Of course! This one is definitely getting a part two. And possibly three. I dont wanna go starting a new story that I'll never get around to finishing as I already have plenty of stories to work on, but I got inspiration and had to write so enjoy. (Side note I was listening to part of your world from the little mermaid before I wrote this so you'll see connections in one part)

4010 words

Part of that world: part 1

The crew had just about wrapped up their game after a good few hours of play when Theo piped up among the conversation after a sip of his drink

"Oh! I forgot to tell you all! Remember how I said I thought this place was haunted?"

Nearly everyone groaned, much to Theos frustration

"Oh okay, because we sit here every weekend playing a fantasy game but ghosts and spirits are off the table?"

Besides him Thomas rolled his eyes with a smirk

"We never claimed the game was real, Theo. Neither are ghosts."

Maisey perked up at that shaking her head

"Well..I mean I feel like there's a possibility ghosts exist just..not here Theo. I'm sure your beliefs are justified!.. and I suppose I may be bias as I don't live in this building so I wouldn't know..but this building isn't very old- and as far as I'm aware, thankfully nobody's died here...yet."

Before anyone else could make their arguments Theo continued

"Yes yes! Well I'll have you know ouiji boards exist and it wouldn't surprise me if one of the neighbours dabbled in the dark arts before, my bets on Helen from 2B upstairs. Anyways!! What I wanted to say was, I bought cameras, for the kitchen to start with. I might get more but the kitchen seems to have the most evidence of supernatural so"

Thomas laughed from across the table

"Dude. You're crazy. You sure you're not high again?"

Henry who never usually pitched into conversations like this even had something to say, in his usual brooding manner- though he was Theos flatmate so his words were necessary in this matter

"You bought cameras and I'm only being informed now? You do realise rent is due in two weeks? You better not have wasted all your money."

Theo made gestures of neglect with his hands, shoving off the comment.

"Oh relax, you'll get the money man. They were off some dingy website. And I only set them up yesterday so no need to worry about privacy. I haven't even turned them on yet. But tonight. Tonight I get my answers!"

Sadie, adjusted her hair and snorted "yep. He's insane. I think the finals coming up are starting to get to you Theo."

Theo stood with a look of finality, clapping his hands together.

"Say what you will, but tonight we shall see, and you shall weep of embarrassment. Ye of little faith. For now, I belive we can wrap up this campaign for this evening, I do need to get these cameras on after all."

And so the crew packed it up, all wishing their goodbyes Thomas pairing off with Sadie, grabbing a box of takeout from the table with them. Maisey after giving Henry a kiss and Theo a hug made her way to the door only to stop before hand

"Best of luck with the cameras, Theo. Despite everything, I'll be curious to see if you find anything. Night guys!"

When all had left Theo shut the door to face a disgruntled Henry who regarded him with folded arms.

"Aw come on pal, don't gimme that. Listen I know you think I'm crazy but just, trust me on this! Things going missing, noises in the kitchen, voices in the walls?!"

Henry pinched his nose and sighed, pushing up his glasses.

"That isn't a ghost, Theon. It's rats. And as for voices, they're either an effect of marijuana or squeaking. Besides, I've already got it covered. You may have noticed the traps I've set."

Theo grumbled at this, his roommate ever so logical.

"Yeah I've seen 'em. Rich of you to comment on me wasting money when you bought all those!"

Henry shut his eyes, it was clear Theo was testing his limits- of which wore thin. He exhaled deeply through his nose

"It's a rational assumption Theon. Especially since rat's are real. And you should know I value cleanliness. I won't have some vermin lurking about if I can do something about it."

Theo took a mouthful of noodles from an open box, finishing it off and depositing it in the trash. He swallowed and met Henry's eyes.

"Well, one of us is right. And one is wrong. Let's let the camera decide."

Henry's face fell flat with a tiresome expression. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Part of him praying the tech would show some full proof footage to finally shut his friend up.

"Goodnight, Theo."

In the end. Both boys were wrong. Though a judgemental eye would say Henry's theory was not far off. Pitter patters raced through the walls, from four small sets of feet. One pair slower than the other.

"Daphne! Wait up!"

But the other pair persisted, destination and goal in mind and on path.

The male voice breathed out harshly

"Come on Daph! You know I'm not as fast at you!"

Suddenly the other pair stopped and the small borrower boy came crashing into them -or rather her- with an 'oof'. But the girl didn't say a thing, only looked out in awe

"There it is Riven. The kitchen.."

Riven came to her side.

"You..you say this everytime you know that?..look, I've got a bad feeling about tonight I think it's best we make this quick."

Daphne turned with a raised brow and smirk to her friend

"You're not getting cold feet now, are you?"

Riven shook his head incredulously

"N-no! Of course not. Just, Daph.. I have a bad feeling is all. You seen the traps yesterday, right? And before you say it I know you'd never fall for them! B-but still! It's.. unnerving to picture. I just wanna be careful about this!"

Daphne wasn't phased by this and only smiled brighter

"Crazy right? Humans are so creative with their traps. I'd love to get my hands on one, I'm sure they'd be interesting to dismantle.."

Riven paled

"I..did I just hear you right? Gods Daphne they're deathtraps! Those things can and will kill us!"

Daphne rolled her eyes shrugging him off, ready to hurry off before Riven latched onto her arm.

"Please Daphne..just..just be careful. I wouldn't want anything to ever happen to you. Plus your father would do a lot worse to me than any trap could ever achieve."

Daphnes features softened and she pulled her friend into a hug.

"Alright Riven..I won't be long tonight. Or even 'foolish'" She mocked her fathers voice on that last word and continued

"Besides, Father doesn't even know we come here. He's too busy with the others. I dont even think he knows we come here. We aren't on the borrowing squad after all." She huffed, deadpanning with a mumble "He made sure of that much"

Riven eased

"Good. Though, no offense Daph..but I kinda get his precautions..no matter how good you are. You tend to get carried away.."

Daphne frowned at this, though her casual smirk founds its footing again, grabbing her friends arms and leaving through their secret exit out onto the counter tops.

Moonlight lit the kitchen and a tickling of a clock resounded through the quiet expanse.

The pair exited, one much faster than the other.

Daphne twirled around in glee as Riven was pulled along.

"Come on! Come on!"

Riven stumbled out almost falling forward, he grabbed his friend for support pulling himself up

"Daph! C-calm down!"

She hurried along, practically dancing about, basking in the moonlight. So many possibilities and so little time! Where to start was the question plaguing her most.

It didn't take long to figure out, Daphne was a very distracted girl after all.

She got loose of Rivens hold and her eyes lit up.

"Oh my gosh..Riven look.." She whispered.

Just before her sat the most peculiar thing. It was circular- almost like a button? But metal? An it had jagged sort of edges.

"It almost like a..bowl? Is that what humans call it?"

She knelt down gently and traced her fingers over it in awe, before picking it up and twisting it over. It's red sleek shine reflected in the dim lighting and as another bonus it was surprising light! On the back there was an intricate design, words?

"C-o-k-e"

She sounded it out coming to the conclusion that it sounded 'coh-keh'

Riven inspected it too tilting his head

"I think it might be off a drink? You know..like a lid thing?"

Daphnes eyes lit up

"It's absolutely beautiful. And it's just.. lying here.."

Riven interupted before she could continue already sensing where her mind was headed.

"Daphne, no."

Daphne pouted

"Oh come on Riv! Clearly it isn't that important. They just left it here after all! And I know just where it will go in the collection."

Riven tried to reason but he knew it was a lost cost, so he resorted to excuses.

"I-its too big though! It won't fit in your satchel and you'll never be able to get past the guards with that button. They think we are scouting after all. If you come back with a borrow that big your father will know."

Daphne once more didn't seem bother by this, if anything she seemed determined.

"Nonsense. Humans leaves stuff outside all the time. I'll say I brought it home as a reward for my labour. You really think the guards will argue with the daughter of the chief?" She quipped.

"Possibly Daph..they're quite rude. Listen, we've never been here during the day. We don't know the humans, their attitudes or routine. Perhaps this cap is here for a reason. And if not that, then it must be some sort of test. You seen the traps. They think they have rats. Maybe they want to mess with them?"

At this Daphne faltered. Her eyes filled with dismay as she heeded her friends advice. Sure, it was amazing. Sure, she longed to take it home..but..her friend mattered more. It was already dangerous enough dragging him here with her. Leaving the treasure could be a compromise of sorts to make sure he kept coming with her. He was her only friend after all, and she would never want to loose him.

"Okay" She sighed placing it down.

"Gods I wish I was on the borrowing squad. If only I could convince father." She turned to her friend

"You know sometimes, they go during the day! They actually see humans..I mean..could you imagine?"

Riven swallowed, clearly not sharing her interest in seeing such large beings up close.

"Humans are so.."

"Dangerous?" Riven offered, to which Daphne chuckled lightly

"Yes.. I suppose..but gosh..just look at this stuff Riv..it's amazing..it's so creative and wonderful. I just..don't see how world that makes such wonderful things, could be so bad?"

Riven gave a look of pity. He took her hand a guided her to the edge, sitting down to which she obliged.

"It's not the creations that's are bad..it's who makes them..sure, there is cool stuff like that thingy, but then again, there is traps. Poison. All sorts of dangers. But I get it, Daph. It is pretty interesting, just dangerous. But for what it's worth, you'd make a fantastic borrower."

He did truly believe it- only part of him hated the thought. She was agile, quick and fast! But she was far too fascinated with humans, and that would only lead to one thing. He shivered at the thought.

They sat in silence as the listened to the clock tick, but with Daphne quiet never lasted very long.

"Yknow, I hear humans are kinda like borrowers."

Riven couldn't picture that. The height difference was staggering enough, but he was willing to hear her out.

"Apparently, when they need stuff, they leave their homes and return with bags full of supplies! It's like they have some sort of hidden storage facilities that has never ending supplies. Could you imagine?"

Riven cocked his head

"Really? I always pictured they traded stuff. Like.." He was shocked to find his next words leaving his mouth "Like us."

"I wonder what they trade then. One time outside I saw the most fantastic object. It was like that shiny red thing over there, only it was a different colour and completely flat! Kinda silvery? Like metal. Oh and it had a face on it!" At her friends bewildered look she laughed once more

"It's true! Anyways.. part of me reckoned they traded with those. I never seen another, so assumed it was rare. And I couldn't take it home because well..Father. It would've made a fine addition to the collection."

Riven smiled, but then a thought came over him. They'd been here quite a while- and this was meant to be a short visit. He did have a bad feeling in his gut after all.

"H-hey..I dont mean to cut things short. But we should head back now."

Daphne faltered as he stood up, hesitant to do so.

"We've only been here a little while!"

She watched his shoulders fall as he released a withheld breath

"I know but I trust my gut Daph..we should head home. Especially if we wanna be up early tomorrow"

It was Daphnes turn to be confused. Up early? Riven raised a brow as if to prompt her memory, but when he got no avail he solved her inner dilemma.

"We've got scouting at dawn, remember?"

Immediately Daphne rose to her feet in shock. "Right!! Oh gods how could I forget? I'm so foolish- come on then let's get out of here!"

Together the pair hurried off, but before they made it to the exit something caught her eye.

A small box with a blinking light. Riven was already in the wall ahead of her, but she stopped.

And slowly made her way over, with awe and caution.

What was this?

She paused before it, it was a big enough contraption, it went up to her rib area in height. She examined the strange box utterly enchanted. How was she only seeing this now?!

She got down on her knees to see an odd glassy circle in its core.

She tapped it once and skittered away immediately expecting a reaction, but it remained still, it's light persistent in its blinking.

She heard Riven coming back as he hopped back through

"Daphne! There you are! You scared me for a sec, I was talking to myself in there and I- what are you doing?"

He approached her before he too came to a halt.

"Um..Daph..what is that?"

Daphne who was starstruck only whispered

"No idea Riv..but its incredible."

Riven glared down at it. Something about the red light felt like warning signal.

"L-lets go Daph..this feels wrong."

She was instant to defend her newest find when Riven assured her they could return to see it again. She hesitantly agreed, as Riven pulled her away from it and guided her back to the wall. The whole way there, she didn't let it leave her sights once.

How peculiar..

Theo awoke the next morning. Ah, Sunday. Such a blasted day. A much appreciated break (if one didn't have to study), but a reminder that college resumed the next day. He lay back in his bed as the morning sun drifted in and bird song whistled about. Now..what was on today's agenda?

The d&d campaign didn't resume until next week when everyone was free again, so his efforts as dungeon master could take a break. He had no assignments. Odd. He was sure there was something about today that was incredibly important to him.

He turned on his phone and a video he fell asleep watching resumed.

'Buzzfeed Unsolved: The Demonic Possession of the Conjuring House

Seemed about right. He was pretty restless last night after his conversation with Henry-

Wait.

He sprung up immediately, his sheets billowing on the floor.

"The cameras!!"

He skidded out into the hall, almost slipping over his pyjamas as he hurried down to the kitchens to his cameras.

He was so excited. Proving people wrong was fun but proving Henry wrong? Now that was a celebration to behold.

This is not the way a normal person should act to their home being haunted- but if anything Theo wanted to witness the wandering spirits more than anything.

He slammed open the kitchen door and instantly scooped up camera one, the view of the dining area. He uploaded its content to his phone and pressed play, watching with bated breath.

Only to falter..in the corner on fast play it read the time. It got all the way to the current hour and absolutely nothing happened.

Ok..not great.

But there was still hope!!

Betting on the second camera he held his phone inches from his face watching for signs of something, anything!!

But there was absolutely nothing. Just the endless image of the cooker.

He felt his shoulders droop as he picked up camera three, questioning if it was even worth it. He sighed sitting back as he played the recording, anxiousness building in his stomach at the thoughts of his friends laughing at him. He usually didn't mind it, his theories were extreme after all. But this time he really hoped to be correct.

And somehow his prayers were answered.

And not in anyway he ever expected.

His eyes widened, his jaw slacked and he stood immediately, knocking the chair to the ground.

"Holy fuck!"

Two tiny figures stepped out onto the counter at two a.m. His heart was positively pounding, the phone fell from his hands, which he scrambled to catch, falling to the floor.

He sprung up almost leaping as he crashed into the cupboards.

"HENRY! HENRY!!! GET IN HERE!"

Henry was tired. In general and of his roommate's shit. He cared for him dearly, but some days he longed to move in permanently with Maisey. Anything to escape his madness- anything to escape mornings like this.

Of course he knew what he was being so urgently summoned for. Theon believed his blasted little cameras saw a ghost. If he were in better moods he wouldve played along to make it easier. But he was rather dull this morning. He longed for caffeine more than anything. Though there was no getting near the delicacy without Theon getting in the way.

He snatched his glasses, a sour expression painted his face. Better get it over and done with then.

He marched out into the kitchen, to find his roommate clutching his head as he stared down to his phone in shock.

"Theon, I swear, you're getting on my last nerve. You didn't see a bloody ghost."

But his friend simply shook his head- in agreement, not taking his eyes off the screen for a second.

"You're right. I didn't."

Henry hitched at this, Theon admiting he was wrong? That wasn't something that happened everyday. He decided to entertain his nonsense.

"Alright. You got my attention. What is it?"

Theon looked up from his phone

"Something much better. Call everyone get them here now. No time to loose. Go quickly!!"

Henry was taken a back, and frustrated to say the least but while Theon usually pulled stunts like this, this one seemed awfully genuine. He grabbed his phone.

It was thirty minutes later when the others arrived much to Theons dismay. They sure did take their time. But in that half an hour he hadn't moved. He simply kept rewinding- annoying the daylights out of his roommate who was getting more impatient about his outstanding discovery by the second. They were so small, so fragile..so very impossible. But it would appear more so, improbable. He dissected each frame harbouring any detail he could. Unfortunately for him the recording was black and white- part of night vision filter he guessed- he couldn't exactly make out their appearances but the were so human. There eyes both glowed from the recording so judging their actual eye colour was near impossible. It was almost the same with skin colour though the boy seemed quite tan, the girl pale. The boys messy hair was definitely dark brown, the girls looked to be a blonde? Or red? He couldn't distinguish it, but it was tied back in a ponytail that swished around around her excitement. Their clothes were also a point of interest, looking like sew scrap fabric. He couldn't imagine having to make his own clothing, albeit he was crafty but not that crafty.

He didn't want to spoil the surprise to his roommate so he kept the volume off, waiting to hear what these two had to say in the company of his crew. If they could even say anything that is.. he really hoped they could. It was eating him inside, if they could speak what language was it? An entirely new one? English? What did they sound like? They seemed to be a different species all together. His patience was at a loose end, he kept asking Henry every five minutes if their friends had arrived yet, which led to no avail.. and almost resulted in Henry shattering his coffee mug in fury.

But then the knock came and Theo sprung up whipping it open and ordering them to follow without any other explanation.

Once he had them all gathered he sat them down in their living room and shut them all up before they could start ranting about time or bombarding him with questions.

"Alright alright. Now I'm sure you're wondering why you're all here at eight a.m on a Sunday morning."

"Yeah, I'd love to know pal!" Thomas quipped sarcastically only for Sadie to continue "This is insane Theo. It's too early for this."

Theo almost faltered but he knew what they were about to see would shut their traps. Maisey yawned from beside Henry

"Please, Theo, it's quite early. I understand you're excited but..just..yeah"

Theo smiled at her, appreciating her acknowledgement only to clap and almost jump with a start.

"Right then. As you may remember for last night I believed there to be ghosts in this apartment. Specifically the kitchen."

"Oh jesus, this?! Man, this better be good" Thomas groveled.

"Well, I didn't find any ghosts, but I found something much better."

He screen mirrored his phone to the TV and pressed play.

Two a.m hit and he slowed it down.

Everyone was silent, and Thomas was about to break said silence when his eyes widened.

He sat up instantly. Henry spat out his coffee. Maisey squeaked. Sadie's jaw was on the floor.

Theos grin went from ear to ear as he finally grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. The big reveal. Please. Please

'Come on! Come on!' 'Daph! C-calm down!' 'Oh my gosh..Riven look'

The group sat in shocked silence, nobody dared interupt the little beings as the girl discovered a lid from a coke bottle. Theo, Sadie and Thomas all found a smile playing at their lips at her pronouncement of the word, the other two looked as if they'd lost all their brain cells- which was terrible as they were the smartest of the bunch. The mini duo marveled at the trash, the conversation moving on to her taking it to her collection. Then to her father- so there was more of them!

Theo couldn't help but catch how the boy spoke of 'humans' with such uncertainty. But absolutely adored how the girls eyes sparkled at the mere idea of them..of people like him. She..she reminded him of himself.

Henry despite his shock admired the boys intelligence for watching out for possible dangers, and could feel pity knowing exactly how it felt to have an over-the-top friend himself. Surely the square cube law outruled any possibility of tiny people yet here they were..

Sadie who too was floored, found the girl amusing, she was a proper Disney princess with how she was acting..all she needed was an animal sidekick. She was so curious about everything and it made her wonder the girls age. She looked old enough but younger than her. Same for the boy.

Maisey was in awe, as was everyone but this was something she couldn't describe..that's science couldn't even describe. She couldn't quite comprehend it all but she was trying her best. A whole society of tiny people.

Thomas was gonna explode. He was like a ticking bomb. This was absolutely insane. Guilt fell over him for his doubts in Theo but knowing how his friend usually was he felt he was justified. He'd been that way since they were kids. This was one of the rare times he'd been right.. not about ghosts..but of something supernatural being in his home. Thomas felt a smile pull on his face as he watched the antics of the duo, reminding him of his own friends. He'd very much like to meet them..

The girl being the daughter of a chief, her awe of human creation, the boys fear of it.. her longing to be on the borrowing squad. And the boys comfort that she'd make an excellent borrower..

Theos eyes lit up as a whole new wave of possibilities and excitement fell down upon him.

Namely when and how he would meet his new little borrower friends.

#g/t story #giant and tiny #gianttiny #giant #tiny #borrowers #borrower g/t

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weregreatatcrime · 10 months

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I think the Hamatos all have one general reaction to changeling Karai showing up with baby Miwa and depending on how much explanation they get it ranges from "What the FUCK" to "HOW the FUCK-" But I mean they do all have some differing reactions and Karai’s changed relationships with them definitely is weird

I think Splinter, while definitely in shock, is thankful beyond belief to have his Miwa back and wishes he could claim Karai as his daughter too because this may be some ancient assassin monster but she! Brought! Him! His daughter back! At GREAT risk to herself. But he can obviously see she's like, BEYOND skittish and distrustful of any positive emotions so he approaches it from a perspective he realizes very quickly on works for anything: Miwa Needs Her.

Miwa #1 panics when her changeling isn't near because Karai is the only person she's known outside of goblins for 16 years. She's been a baby for 16 years so all she knows is Karai is Good and Warm and Hers and she throws a fit if Karai isn't in reach. #2 Miwa also didn't recognize Splinter at ALL because of that time apart (and being mutants) and while Karai is quick and easy to assure her, Miwa is still a baby with a buttload of trauma and not very keen on all these strangers.

It hurts Splinter but Miwa's slowly warming up- and you can make Karai do ANYTHING if you use Miwa as an argument. You HAVE to stay here with us, Miwa misses you! You HAVE to let us care for your wounds- Miwa is obviously upset when you're injured! You don't need to be so on guard all the time at home, Miwa picks up on it and gets fussy! It's a very obvious tactic and Karai isn't positive WHY Splinter keeps using it but he clearly loves and adores Miwa so. Whatever. She WILL do anything for Miwa, so at least SHE knows HE knows he can trust SHE isn't dangerous so long as Miwa is happy and healthy. Changeling Logic!

Splinter is just exasperated and sad that Karai is literally incapable of understanding human things like basic kindness and empathy. It's okay he'll get through to her eventually. She IS a very good guardian though, and very very loyal to a tiny baby. It's both adorable and terrifying.

Some of the guys are conflicted but it doesn't take too long for them to come to some similar realizations as Splinter when they see how she reacts around Miwa. Plus, they WERE trying to get her to join the family back when they thought SHE was Miwa. So. It got confusing at the end there but it was still the intended result?

Karai likes the turtles like you like idiot younger relatives who don't know shit. They're so innocent and naive it hurts to see. If they intend to be good brothers to Miwa they gotta learn some shit.

Raph and Donnie are her favorites just because #1 Raph is like interacting with a troll, full of honest emotions and little hesitation in showing them. And #2 Donnie is the first to Really figure out how she thinks because changeling thought processes are pretty much Overthinking As A Culture. He is smart enough to think in the sort of twisty turns that Karai does without getting tripped up, and has an easier time putting aside morals to understand what she's getting at. He still reminds her of those morals but hey he'll learn eventually. Raph just likes getting to rough house with someone who he genuinely can't hurt without serious intent. She's very tough and sturdy and not afraid to teach him how to properly grapple. It's like teaching a baby changeling their first instinctive combat skills, she's having so much fun

Leo is hilariously the one who interacts with her the LEAST because he does Not understand anything about her. She has no real morals and isn't afraid to tell them how many times she could have killed them. He can't figure out why she would say all this terrifying stuff and Karai can't figure out why he's not recognizing this vital information and training she's offering. Like Leo gets that she won't hurt any of them because they take care of Miwa, but he does not understand why or how this is when she's like. Practically threatening to kill them all the time. Silly Leo, that's how changelings show affection!

Mikey and Karai have a weird relationship that consists of him trying to love her as his new big sister and Karai, confused and baffled, running away because she doesn't understand this cheerful idiot. Changelings who act like this are the most terrifying because underneath the cheerful they're the most deadly there are. She knows he's NOT that dangerous but it is Hard To Internalize. He makes good food though. Her changeling half needs a Weird diet and it's like impossible to poison her, so she enjoys his... "cooking". Horrifies everyone else in the process

#my stuff #trollhunters #tmnt 2k12 #two daughters au #2012 karai #2012 leo #2012 donatello #2012 mikey #2012 raph #2012 splinter #2012 miwa

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quietwingsinthesky · 7 months

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Between Dean and Sam: who prefers to be liked, and who prefers to be right?

highly dependent on a) what part of the show we’re in, b) what are they talking about, and b) who are they interacting with, but for simplicity’s sake, I’ll assume we’re talking about them with each other.

I think, especially if it’s for stupid shit, (‘no, i know the lore better than you do.’, ‘i didn’t use up the hot water, that was you!’, ‘i don’t steal food off your plate when you aren’t looking, shut up.’) then they are terminally brothers and absolutely both need to be right in every situation. As anyone with siblings knows, if you ever back down, even when you know you’re wrong, you will admit weakness and they will never let you forget it.

More seriously, in the early seasons, I do see Sam needing to be right more. I’d connect this to the way he’s really pretty blunt about what he wants, what he thinks, early on. And with that need for everyone around him to Know what’s going on in his head, he also needs to be right about things, for better or for worse. He needs to be right about finding John being more important than following his orders, he needs to be right about his feelings about the other psychic kids, he needs to be right about the fact that he can save Dean, and later, that trusting Ruby is a good idea. And the further down the road you get with Sam, I think, the more that his need to be right starts to come less from a desire to be seen and more from a sort of sunk-cost belief. Especially with Ruby, even with the trials, and especially with removing the Mark, at a certain point, how can he turn his back on what he’s doing? When so much has been sacrificed for it, whether that’s other people’s lives or his own health.

But I also think that interacts in a very interesting way with how Dean plays into the equation, because the further you get in the show? The more it becomes apparent that if Dean really pushes hard enough on anything, Sam will capitulate to him. Even if that looks like getting on his knees and expecting Dean to literally kill him. I’m not sure if I’d put that under Sam wanting to be liked more than to be right, but it’s definitely a part of their relationship. Maybe I’d put it more under Dean being Sam’s grounding force, stone number one and all. How do you keep saying no to the guy who is anchoring you to reality 90% of the time, right?

Dean is. I think he wants to be liked, he really does, but he’s also convinced himself that that probably isn’t an option. And the other part of that is that Dean doesn’t want to believe he’s right but instead, when Dean’s in an argument, he knows his side is right because there isn’t an option in his head for him to be on the wrong side.

Or, more specifically, when we’re talking about the decisions that cause the most strife between him & Sam (Demon Blood detoxing, Amy, Benny, Gadreel, taking the Mark, etc.) there are not things that Dean can allow himself for a moment to consider were the wrong call. Not in front of Sam. Maybe in the privacy of his own head. I think the trial god episode proves that he knows he’s done something wrong with Amy, as well as his tendency to lie about the shit he’s done until he literally can’t anymore. Dean is often aware of the moral ambiguity of his actions. But admitting that to Sam, especially when Sam is usually the one in the direct line of fire for Dean’s choices? That’s a whole different story.

Sam just isn’t a character that Dean can pick being liked over being right in an argument with, because the fear of not being right, of his actions having done too much damage, that plays right into Dean’s control issues and his constant fear of losing control which is tied directly into losing Sam. (And again, we’re talking just about with Sam here, but if I may put up a prime example of a character Dean would pick being liked by over being right, well. John. Obviously. Dean kind of needs to relinquish his control to an authority figure to feel like he doesn’t have to be right all the time. And the later in the show we get, Dean is the authority figure, makes himself into one over Sam and Cas as well because that’s how safety was drilled into him as a kid, that’s how his relationship with John shapes how he builds his family in the future. Sorry, getting off track. Dean daddy issues boy forever.)

So, uh. tl;dr: Dean needs to be right or else he will lose his shit. Sam needs to be right when he thinks he’s too far to turn back, and only Dean can convince him to let that go.

#spn #ask #thank u anon!! had fun thinking about this #dean winchester #sam winchester

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danganronpafan777 · 1 year

Note

Are your requests open? If so, what about a 'part two' of the kyoko-makoto fic. Where its the reader who is being accused. Maybe the reader also gets scarred during the failed execution process? I'm just in the mood for angst lol.

Alright! Scarred Y/n coming right up!

Teruya Otori:

"Y-Y/n?! T-There's no way Y/n's tha' killer!"

Yes, the evidence pointed to you, but you were the kindest person he ever met! You'd never kill someone!

...right?

He would beg for you to reassure him that it wasn't you, at the same time everyone else was pressuring you to confess

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" You screamed.

Everyone began to quiet, and Teruya breathed a sign of relief, until...

"No, Y/n. It had to be you." Yuki spoke, "Here's exactly how you did it!"

You clutched at your podium through Yuki's closing argument, only now realizing that this was a trap, Teruya on the other hand...

There's no way Y/n would....

Stop it. You promised yourself you would be stronger.

Face it.

It's Y/n.

"Guys! This trial is-"

"It was really you, Y/n?" Teruya's voice cracked a bit, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

"No! I-"

"Shut it, criminal scum. Monokuma, start the vote."

You yelled for them to stop, that it would only get them killed

Words couldn't describe how much Teruya wanted to believe you

"Upupu! Correct! The killer was indeed Y/N L/N!"

You shouted that the trial was bullshit, but no one believed you. You shouted for Teruya, but he forced himself to turn away

You told yourself that hope would never fall to despair, and with that mindset, you prepared to face your execution.

You fought long and hard, before a stab of pain raced across your face. You put a hand to your face just to find it covered in blood. You heard one of the execution machines whirr, and with the pain across your face and Teruya's weak cries in your ears, you prepared yourself for the final blow.

It never came, and you found yourself fall, deeper and deeper into a dark abyss.

...

Even though Teruya forced himself to accept that you were the killer, he couldn't help the sigh of relief at your execution failing and the small smile on his face knowing that you weren't going to die.

He began to cry from the guilt he felt when Monokuma's plan was exposed, and that you were indeed innocent.

You loved and trusted him, you comforted and believed in him through this whole nightmare

And he couldn't even be there for you when you needed him

Standing above the trash chute, the antique store's biggest backpack filled to the brim with food and water, Teruya knew what he had to do

Tightening Haruhiko's goggles, he jumped.

Tsurugi Kinjo:

"Y/n...did you really do this?"

Tsurugi doesn't want to believe it but... all evidence points to you

He usually puts logic over his own feelings, So why was this so difficult?

He was too shocked over the evidence claiming that you were the killer that he didn't think of the trial potentially being a trap

He feels a sense of betrayal and anger as his beliefs once come into play

He can't believe that the one he loved....

No matter how hard he tries, his mind can't call you a criminal scum

His beliefs and ideologies about criminals overshadowed your claims of being innocent. As Yuki put the murder together, he felt himself shake in anger and betrayal.

“Y/n…how could you!?”

“Tsurugi, please! It wasn’t-“

“SHUT UP!”

He yelled at you. Even if he couldn’t call you a criminal, he still couldn’t contain his anger. You could only cry as the chain wrapped around your neck.

When your execution started, you ran. You ran whoever your legs could take you. Anywhere that Monokuma couldn’t reach. You dodged and kicked and punched at every obstacle that Monokuma threw at you. Monokuma began to get angrier, making his machines and traps faster veery passing moment. You used all the energy you had to keep up, stay alive, do anything. You were so distracted that you didn’t notice Monokuma entering the execution himself.

You could only scream as Monokuma’s claws slashed across your eye. You were immediately knocked backwards and Tsurugi pounded at the fence keeping you away from him. As Monokuma lifted his claws once again, the ground gave way from beneath you, sending you down into the trash chute below.

…

Tsurugi didn’t know how to feel after the trial. He felt relieved that you were okay, but felt angry at himself for being relieved that a murderer escaped death. When the truth was revealed, it felt like the world was crashing down on him.

He felt pathetic. He should have been able to tell Monokuma’s plan. He should have been able to trust you.

He wasn’t going to let it end like this. You weren’t going to die alone in that dump.

He was going to save you and end the killing game once and for all.

No matter what.

Kinji Uehara: (Chapter 3 Spoilers)

Kinji didn’t see you as a killer.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t imagine you killing someone.

Why would you? You didn’t have any reason to.

He was the traitor after all, wasn’t he?

He calmly brought up any evidence he could find to prove your innocence, but no matter how hard he tried, Yuki always found a contradiction. He felt himself beginning to get mad. No matter how much evidence they had, you keep claiming it wasn’t you.

“Y/n, stop this! I don’t want to keep accusing you, but… it couldn’t be-“ Yuki tried to say,

“PLEASE! This trial! It’s all a trap! You have to believe me!”

Kinji knew you, and he’s confident that he would be able to tell if you were lying

A part of him wanted to shift the blame onto himself. It would buy some time for new information to be uncovered, or at least you would survive if they voted him.

But he couldn’t do that. There were over a hundred children in the orphanage that would die if he did that.

He put a hand on your shoulder. “Y/n, I believe you. I just wish we could prov-“

“Upupu! It’s voting time!”

Something was definitely wrong, he could feel it. When Monokuma announced you as the killer, it still didn’t feel right, especially how you still claimed you were innocent.

Kinji believed you. You didn't have any reason to lie now. He found himself raising his voice, telling Monokuma to stop the trial.

“Kinji…It’s not me, I….I love you so much, please-“

“I’m the traitor.”

“…!?”

Everyone at the trial stared. If you were going to die, you deserved to know. You stared at him for a moment in shock. As the chain clung around your neck, you could only utter three final words.

“…I forgive you.”

That sent Kinji over the edge, his vision blurred with tears as he reached to grab you only to grab a handful of air.

This was wrong. This was all wrong.

You closed your eyes during your execution. Whatever references that Monokuma was making to your past or talent, you didn’t want to see it. You heard Kinji cry out your name. You never wanted to hold him more.

The betrayal, your love for him, his cry for you all clashed together as you opened your eyes and took a step forward.

“Ki-…”

You felt yourself get silenced by a blade, maybe a knife. Whatever it was, it sliced right across your neck. You felt your mouth fill with your own blood as Kinji yelled your name. You felt your body sway before it collapsed, suddenly falling through a dark tunnel downward.

…

Kinji….didn’t know what to do. Whenever he asked for help or food to send to you, everyone turned away, some even claiming that you were a traitor with him. That marked the first time he had lashed out at someone in years.

It didn’t matter what Kinji said, he lost the group’s trust. As much as they wanted to save you, they were worried it was part of Kinji’s scheme, a suspicion which only grew when they learned the trial was indeed a trap.

Kinji accepted that he was alone in this. He knelt before the trash chute, saying his final prayers. It didn’t matter what happens now, whether you died or escaped the trash and ended the game.

As he jumped, he reminded himself, whatever happened, the two of you would do it together.

Haruhiko Kobashikawa:

He's not the smartest, so he thinks that you're just being framed for a while

As Yuki continues, Haruhiko still refuses to believe it's you

The fact that you were yelling that it wasn't you just made him believe in you more. He knew you, and you weren't a liar.

Eventually, the others decide that there is no other option, you had to have-

"WAIT!!" Haruhiko yelled.

"...Haru?"

"..." Haruhiko thought for a moment. He loved you, and it was the best feeling he ever had. He might regret this, but he'll never forget the way you make him feel.

"I did it. I killed them." He said.

The whole trial became an uproar. Tsurugi fainted over Haruhiko defending a killer, Yuki tried to contradict him, and Rei just rolled her eyes.

"H-Haru! Stop it! I know you didn't do it! And I didn't either!"

"Then who did!?" Teruya exclaimed.

"Y/n! It has to be you!" Yuki pointed. Haruhiko lashed out at his friend, doing anything he could to prove your innocence. It didn't matter what he did, Yuki found ways behind it, and even used Haru’s own words to prove his innocence. As the closing argument came to a finish, you were still shaking.

You could only shake your head, your voice dry from yelling already. The votes were cast and Monokuma declared the verdict.

You and Haru were numb at that point. You became like a broken record by the time the chain dropped, only repeating how you were innocent and how much you loved your boyfriend. Haruhiko reached for you as the chain pulled you away, yelling for you as you were pulled to your execution.

You were weak, but you still refused to give up, hearing your boyfriend yell for you. As weapons and traps flung at you from all directions, you ran, desperate to escape. You ducked down just as some heavy metal object fell down from above you. You briefly looked up to see where it came from.

Big mistake.

Haruhiko screamed as a crossbow bolt impaled the back of your leg, less than an inch above the kneecap. You looked down, your leg collapsing under you just before the whole execution ground gave way down the trash chute.

....

Haruhiko was terrified. What if the fall killed you? What if you bled out?? After some reassurance from his friends that you were smart enough to survive, he felt relief knowing you probably weren't dead. He sent down food and water every single day you were down there, and begged for the others to go down with him to help you. As much as he wanted to find you, he knew he wasn't smart enough to get out of there.

When Rei brought everyone to her room and blocked the camera signal, Haruhiko didn't stop talking until they came up with a plan. He wasn't going to let them leave you.

The next day, he stood over the trash chute, Yuki, Akane, Satsuki, and Teruya by his side. He'd save you if it was the last thing he did.

Dra Yuki Maeda:

He thinks about it for a while, and the evidence always comes back to point at you

Something isn't right...

He avoids the closing argument, instead hanging on to the hope of you being innocent

Eventually, the others called him out for it, and only as they began to vote did he realize...

"W-Wait! This trial..! It's a trap!"

The others brushed off his words, thinking it was only an excuse to protect you. You screamed as you were voted, and kept telling Yuki that you were innocent, despite Monokuma's claims.

"I know! I know... I believe you, Y/n. This trial, it's a trap....I'm sure..."

You begged for him to end the game for you, before giving him a final kiss. He felt his eyes well up with tears as you were pulled to your execution.

You tried everything to survive, anything to get rid of the chain bounding you to your death. You grabbed at your neck as Monokuma themed weapons entered your view. You couldn't pull your arms down fast enough, a saw scraping right across the arm of your dominant hand.

Yuki watched in horror as you clutched the wound, blood pouring out. Only then did the chain come undone, and the ground gave way as you fell into the trash chute.

...

After the failure of the execution, Yuki couldn't help but feel like he failed you, even when he did everything he could to stop everyone from voting for you

The night after the trial, he forms a plan and calls everyone to the dining hall. A plan to end the killing game once and for all.

"Y/n wouldn't have wanted us to give up on them! Especially not when they're still alive down there!"

He reminds his friends of all the things you had done for them, and how they could save you and challenge Monokuma to a retrial.

After many rebuttal showdowns, the group decided to agree with him, saving you and making a final stand.

#haruhiko kobashikawa #kinji uehara #tsurugi kinjo #yuki maeda #teruya otori #dra x reader #danganronpa another

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feyhunter78 · 1 year

Text

Snapdragons (11/?)

Description: Maeria and Elrond debate their separate beliefs, and after Maeria presents him with an offer, Elrond turns to Galadriel for help.

Previous chapter, Next chapter

“You are nothing but an image conjured from my memories. I will not be made to defend myself, or my brother, in my own mind.” Maeria snapped, pulling away from Elrond, and backing up until she hit the far wall.

Elrond composed himself and approached her carefully. “I am sorry, sweet starlight, I did not mean to offend, I am merely worried about you.”

“Why? I am safe, finally home, and I will have a crown soon.” She wrapped her arms around herself, but did not stop him from coming any closer.

He reached out and caressed her cheek gently. “Why ? Because you are not with me, not within my eyeline unless we are asleep, and I wish to be with you, even if you will not marry me.”

Her heart leapt and tumbled over itself as she surged forward into his arms, burying her face in the crook of his neck. “I wanted to, I still want to, Elrond—I am so sorry, I wanted so badly to marry you, but my brother—”

“I know, I found your letter.” He shushed her softly, arms keeping her flush against him as he breathed in her scent.

“Letter?” Her voice was muffled by his night shirt.

“It was under your dresser; you must have forgotten about it.”

She stiffened. He couldn’t know, she scratched out every part where she confessed her true heritage, in every letter. “You must forget about that, if he knows I gave the elves a clue, even by accident…”

He pulled back and cupped her face, ducking her head down to meet her eyeline. “Will he hurt you?”

“No, never, he’ll just be very angry, and he is already upset that Galadriel refused to be his queen.”

“Galadriel is quite upset as well, she feels betrayed.”

“If she had agreed to be queen, this would not have even happened. We could have been married already.”

“How would Galadriel agreeing to help take over Middle Earth do anyone but Sauron good?” Elrond asked, begging her to see reason.

“Because then he would have his light, and she would keep him on the side of good.” She said, shaking her hands in frustration. “I do not know how to make this simpler.”

“How could she trust him, he lied to her.”

“She never asked him if he was Sauron.” Maeria argued, though she knew her argument was weak.

Elrond’s grip tightened ever so slightly on her face. “You know, as well as I, a lie by omission is still a lie.”

“He loves her, I know it.” She said feebly. “If she would just speak with him, I know he could be dissuaded, she must open her dreams to him.”

“What if you are wrong? What if he harms her.” Elrond pressed, feeling as though she were on the precipice of understanding.

Maeria’s gaze dropped to the rug. “If he does, then I will convince him to let me return and tell you all of what I know. But if he does not, then I ask you to consider joining me here. I miss you.”

She thought it was a fair deal, though she didn’t know if she truly had it in her heart to betray her brother.

Elrond lifted her chin. “I will discuss it with Galadriel, but I make no promises.”

“That is all I can ask.” She said, meeting his eyes and attempting to pick out the flakes of gold within them.

“I miss you as well.” He said softly, before his image began to fade away.

“Elrond you are a fool who has been entrapped by a pretty face.” Galadriel snapped, predictably angry at his suggestion to open her dreams to Sauron.

“Let me hear him speak, Galadriel.” Gil-galad urged, motioning for him to go on.

“If Galadriel opens her dream to him, she will be able to glean information from him, and potentially put an end to his plot. If he harms her in any way, Maeria will return here and tell us all she knows.”

“And if he doesn’t then she gives us nothing, and requests that he join her.” Galadriel finished for him; anger clear in her crystalline eyes.

Gil-galad nodded. “Do we have any information on the movements of either Sauron or Adar?”

Galadriel shook her head, lips set in a grim line.

“Then perhaps we shall consider the idea. With someone at your bedside to monitor your sleep and wake you in case of danger.”

“Elrond shall do it. Let him see what his lovesickness has caused.” Galadriel said, her eyes filled with anger and grief.

Elrond knew she was more upset that he had voiced his desire to be with Maeria once more than she was over the plan.

“I will be more than happy to watch over you, my dearest friend.”

Elrond sat in a chair beside Galadriel’s bedside, a book in hand, as she settled in to sleep.

“How am I to open my dreams to him?” She asked, annoyance tinging her voice.

“When Maeria attempts to enter my dreams, I feel a tug that reminds me of her, soft and bright, with the scent of honeysuckle floating around it.”

“Wait for the tug, then.” She deadpanned.

He gave her an apologetic smile.

She waved it off and settled down to sleep.

Galadriel was dreaming peacefully when she felt it. A tentative tug. A calloused hand reaching for hers, the smell of a forge, of ocean air, and a spice that she was never able to get him to name, fills her senses as she turns towards the pull.

“Galadriel.” His voice is soft, that same lightness to it that she came to associate with Halbrand.

“Halbrand.” She answers, the name slipping past her lips before she can correct it.

Then suddenly he’s there, smiling brightly, new shirt and trousers on. He looks healthy, reinvigorated, and she chastises herself for briefly thinking of how handsome he looks.

“My sweet lady of light, how I missed you.” He breathed, stepping closer, his hand hovering over her cheek before he curls his fingers, and pulls back, his fingertips brushing against her skin as he does.

“What is this place?” She asked, looking around. It’s a simply decorated room hewn from rock.

“This is my chambers, in the volcano, Maeria decorated it.”

“So, you admit, the girl is with you.”

He raises an eyebrow. “My sister is with me, yes. As she was always meant to be.”

“I thought I was to be your queen?” She said, fighting back the flare of jealousy that surges.

He pulls out a chair for her and beckons for her to sit. “You are, but Maeria is my devoted right hand. Shaped and perfected by yours truly.”

She sits and he does as well. “So, she has no mortal mother? You lied to her.”

Halbrand shook his head. “Her mother was real, as was her father, their story not so much.” He looked almost regretful for a moment. “I found Maeria and mother in a burned down building, during the war. She was so tiny, having just barely been born before her mother had passed. I protected her, brought her to a sacred place and imbued her with the flames of creation, the very power that created me.”

“But why? How does a mere babe benefit you.” She asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Would you believe me, if I said I saw something of myself in her?”

“No.”

Halbrand laughed. “You were always too clever to believe my lies.” He tilted his head, drinking her in. “Truly, though, I pitied her, so young and already marked for death. So, I took it upon myself to raise her, thought perhaps she would be my route to redemption.”

“You used her like men use whores.” She snarled.

Halbrand’s face twisted in disgust. “She is my sister, I would never.”

“You sent her to seduce Elrond, to glean information from him.” She accused; chin tilted up in defiance.

“No, I sent her to make alliances, which she did wonderfully, with the dwarves that is. Her falling in love with your friend was unplanned, but I think in time it will benefit me.”

Galadriel felt a pang of pity for the girl. “You would toy with the heart of one you created so carelessly?”

“Maeria is strong, and when I gift Elrond to her, she will forgive me.” He said casually, fully confident in his sway over his sister.

“And where will they fit in your plan, if you and I are to rule, then what will they do?”

He leaned forward, a playful smirk on his face. “Do not fret, my queen, no one will challenge your throne. They shall be sent to oversee territories for us. My Maeria can be quite frightening when she wishes.”

Galadriel let her mind picture it for a moment, remembering the rush of power she felt back on the raft, she did wish to be queen, she knew she would be a good queen, a kind and just queen.

“Think on my words, my queen, I will always be here when you wish to talk again.” He leaned further forward, his lips brushing against hers, sending shockwaves through her, a pleasant hum following after. Then he disappeared and she awoke in her bed.

“Leave me.” She ordered.

“Galadriel, are you alright?” Elrond asked, concern coloring his voice.

“Leave me, I need to think.”

Tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @elronds-pointy-ears, @elrondscalaquendi, @dilf-superiority, @jesticace

#elrond x oc #elrond rop #rop elrond #young elrond #young!elrond #snapdragons #elrond x maeria #maeria #rop #rop fanfiction #rings of power fanfiction #meg's writing #galadriel x halbrand

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llycaons · 7 months

Text

ep41 (2/2): cleansing really is that beautiful

jgy is really good at turning his genuinely unfortunate circumstances into sympathy points to skirt around responsibility. I do feel bad for him, I do understand his position. but he's not the only person here without power, and he's certainly only looking out for his own skin

and like nmj says, he's doing all this - crying and lying and manipulating - because he wants to keep a high social position. no other reason. and he admits it!

I find this argument so funny. like in fairness it's similar to the one that wwx brings up later but wwx and wn actually died and in wwx's minds, paid for their crimes already. jgy never did, and hearing him whine 'oh my god, I just killed a few people, are you're STILL bringing it up now???' is pretty funny

good point, jgy! nmj isn't entirely a bastion of flawless justice himself, but 1. he actually tries because he cares about it and 2. this conversation is about your crimes and diverting will not save you from him

oh, so poetic! so dramatic! look at that face!

OH DAMN!!!!!! CRIMSON PEAK MASTER COMEBACK

oh this is a good scene. correct response to 'their lives aren't worth as much as mine!' and a perfect example for people who genuinely think jgy is some hero of the working class. sorry, guys. he's only in it for himself and he;ll step on as many poor and margnalized people as he needs to in the process

bad manners, nmj :(

this was so cunty of him

idk I feel like there could have been a better translation for this

POINTING AT JGY!!! wow so yeah jgy is murdering him for no reason other than 'he kicked me out of the clan for killing his commander and yelled at me a lot :(' you would crumble into dust if you encountered a quarter of the hardships of the wens

holding baxia like that....

oh my god he's so off the rails

ohhh it that suibian I see 👀

okay this looks stupid but but it's my firm belief that this is proof wwx has at least a shadow of a golde core in his new body otherwise HOW COULD BE DO THAT

hiii sexy

it's so cute how he pulls himself up each step like that. he's so tiny!

and then all tucked out and flopping onto lwj's hand <3

so full of personality was this paperman that I forgot wwx had a real body to return to and I jumped when he reappeared on the screen. muppet effect

shoutout to lxc for trusting and believing his brother for this. you know if the situations were reversed lwj would glare him down for daring to suggest wwx was untrustworthy. and he'd be right but it's nice that lxc is so supportive

jin ling isn't easily intimidated, which is funny bc he keeps asking these perfectly reasonable questions like 'why are you trying to get into my uncle's bedchambers at night' and 'what is going on' and ignoring him/glaring at him doesn't work at all

oh you douchebag

I think su she's villainy is a bit dumb and jealousy is a weak and judgemental trait for a villain to even have but this shot makes him look like such a tool idc

personal highlights: I'm tired and I don't care much for nmj and jgy's situationship so let's make this short and sweet

meng yao's water carriers

meng yao's very smooth glide into a standing bow

meng yao's beautiful silver and white robes

meng yao deflecting questions about his intentions with "I'm just glad I...met...you 🥺'

nmj's side-eye to jgy during their brotherhood swearing-in

jgy's blatant and purposeful flirting

"I only killed a few people, can you PLEASE stop bringing it up still 🙄'

nmj yelling ASSHOLE and kicking jgy down the steps for saying he's better and more deserving than other people

sexy sexy suibian ♥

paperman!wwx going WHEW and flopping down onto lwj's hand very cute

#cql re-rewatch

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halucygeno · 9 months

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Mental health vent: on being neurodivergent, Kokobot and counterproductive “help”

So, I recently looked up the #Depression tag and was immediately messaged by Kokobot, Tumblr’s officially partnered mental health counselling provider. In typical late-capitalist fashion, it was absolutely atrocious at its job, and not-so-secretly a scheme to harvest people’s user data. User @viridianriver made a fantastic post where they summarise the issue better than I ever could, give it a read:

https://www.tumblr.com/viridianriver/722834494910038016/kokobot-the-airbnb-owned-tech-startup-data?source=share

Highly unethical shit and revolting all around. Whoever from Tumblr staff decided this was a good idea should be fuckin’ ashamed of themselves.

But this saccharine, performatively gentle parasite of a bot made me reflect on some of the ways people in real life have failed me when I’ve brought up my mental health problems. Aside from the struggle of finding a therapist who understands my style of thinking and the type of guidance I need (I’ve been through 4 different ones), I’ve often ran into an invisible wall when openly speaking to friends and family.

I’ve been meaning to write something like this for a while, and Kokobot gave me the push to articulate some of my observations - about what is helpful, what isn’t helpful, and some general patterns in how people have addressed my mental illness.

Anyway, here’s my honest advice:

[DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional. This is just an opinion based on my personal experience. Take everything I say with a tablespoon of salt.]

Seek out other people who have struggled with the same (or similar) problems as you. These are the people who are best equipped to empathise with you and see things from your perspective. I know it may sound impossible at first, but you gotta try.

If your school / university has a counselling service, see if they run any support groups. If not, check to see if there’s something hosted independently by students or local organisations. You preferably want to talk to someone you can trust, like a family member, friend or close colleague. If there is absolutely nobody in your real-life environment you can turn to, then confiding in a stranger online is a “good enough” substitute. Obviously, maintain a good level of caution when speaking to anyone you don’t know - don’t reveal identifying information like photos, names or addresses. If your problems involve something very specific or personal, use analogies and fake names.

The reason I put emphasis on contacting others who have gone through similar issues is that people without that perspective, even if well-intentioned, can actually worsen the situation with their attempts to help.

For example, if you speak openly about your suicidal thoughts (even if you make it very clear that it’s only casual suicidal ideation, with no clear “plan” or strong compulsion to actually do it), people may panic and call emergency services, which can lead to you having to spend half an hour explaining to confused cops and medics: “no, I’m fine, I’m not about to kill or injure yourself, the caller misunderstood me, no, I don’t need a Diazepam injection, no, I don’t want to see a physician...” and so on.

Trying to open up to people who lack the proper perspective will, ironically, increase your frustration and isolation as they adopt an overprotective, patronising attitude. Your negative thoughts will be treated as aberrant and pathological (even if they are well articulated and backed with arguments), and therefore quickly dismissed as “the illness talking”. The condition will basically be used to discredit your autonomy of beliefs, and you will be pressured to adopt the standard, “healthy” attitudes and desires.

Paradoxically, while acting as if your mental illness has completely taken over your thoughts, they will also heavily underestimate its severity and treat it as an issue of “willpower”. You may hear suggestions for things like mindfulness exercises, breathing techniques, meditation, a healthier diet, homeopathic treatments, etc. While these may help in some cases (especially eating healthy), they completely ignore the fact that people on the spectrum or with attention disorders may be straight-up neurologically incapable of focusing on some of these these tasks. (This is anecdotal, but I have attempted about a dozen guided meditations + yoga, and each time it feels like being put in a straightjacket while some pretentious twat tries to gaslight me about what I’m feeling to the tune of the most annoying, cliche “relaxation” music imaginable. It’s impossible to feel anything other than frustration.)

The worst part about this is that these very deliberate displays of “care” and “sympathy” usually dehumanise you by refusing to meet you where you’re at and discuss things on your own terms.

If you’re feeling depressed because of socio-political issues like climate change, racism, economic exploitation and inequality, instead of helping you channel your frustration into action - telling you how to network with local activists, offering to read political theory with you, etc. - they will view the social concern itself as the issue and nudge you towards supressing it (saying things like “focus on your own life, then worry about politics”). Instead of trying to politically empower you, they want you to surrdener to disempowering political apathy.

If you’re feeling depressed due to difficulties with an academic or personal project, you’ll hear vague non-advice like “be kind to yourself” and “don’t push yourself too hard”, with zero actual interest in learning about the specifics of what you’re struggling with. If you’re a writer, for example, these people won’t bother to read your work, and if you ask them to give you some feedback on a draft, they’ll agree before procrastinating it into oblivion.

And don’t even get me started if your sadness stems from philosophical reflections. Most people are extremely illiterate in even conversational-level philosophy, making constant appeals to anecdotes, mysticism and “common sense”. It’s often a struggle to get them to question something they take for granted, much less make them logically evaluate the coherency of a philosophical principle.

You get the point. People say they want to help, but they seemingly want to do that without making any commitments or getting to know anything difficult about you. They can be incredibly overbearing in terms of suggesting broad, overarching lifestyle changes, but when it comes to specific habits and behaviours you yourself want to change, where you could really use a bit of coaching or encouragement, they don’t even examine it.

I understand that the kind of help I’m asking for is incredibly labour intensive and difficult - especially if someone is struggling with a highly technical skill (in which case it may be downright impossible; how are you supposed to help a friend stuck on a programming task without being a programmer yourself)? But if these people are not willing to do that, then the least they can do is shut up with their patronising self-help platitudes. It feels more alienating and depressing to constantly hear stock responses like “it will get better” than just not talking about it at all.

So yeah, look for others who have gone through the same thing. Seek practical, actionable advice instead of vague, feel-good nonsense. Don’t bother talking to those who obtusely fail to understand your condition and condescend to you - it will just exhaust you.

Those are my two cents, and better mental health advice than anything Kokobot will ever give you. Peace.

#mental health #vent #neurodivergent #toxic positivity #politics #advice #vent post

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luckydragon10 · 2 years

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P&P Chapters 23 and 24

(Chapters 21 and 22)

Lots of proposals and engagement goings on yesterday. What's next?

Oh, but first a scoreboard check:

Mr. Darcy is barely even in this right now. Still -10.

Lizzy made a small gain and is at +20.

~~~

Chapter 23

Elizabeth was sitting with her mother and sisters, reflecting on what she had heard, and doubting whether she was authorised to mention it, when Sir William Lucas himself appeared, sent by his daughter, to announce her engagement to the family.

Awkwaaaard. Feels like he's showing up to ask Mr. Bennet, "Sir, how much longer do you plan to live?"

(Sir William) and though he begged leave to be positive as to the truth of his information, he listened to all their impertinence with the most forbearing courtesy.

He can be patient when he knows he's going to be moving into their house eventually. 😅

Mr. Bennet’s emotions were much more tranquil on the occasion, and such as he did experience he pronounced to be of a most agreeable sort; for it gratified him, he said, to discover that Charlotte Lucas, whom he had been used to think tolerably sensible, was as foolish as his wife, and more foolish than his daughter!

Where even are his priorities?! Heck if I know. He doesn't seem to have...any?

Between Elizabeth and Charlotte there was a restraint which kept them mutually silent on the subject; and Elizabeth felt persuaded that no real confidence could ever subsist between them again.

Lizzy, bad form. It may not be a dream match, but don't look down on Charlotte for it. I'm taking 5 points off; reflect on yourself. And maybe, I dunno, talk to Charlotte? She probably needs support.

for Lady Catherine, he added, so heartily approved his marriage, that she wished it to take place as soon as possible, which he trusted would be an unanswerable argument with his amiable Charlotte to name an early day for making him the happiest of men.

Why is Lady Catherine rushing this wedding?!

Mrs. Bennet was really in a most pitiable state. The very mention of anything concerning the match threw her into an agony of ill-humour,

"I have a most severe allergy to anything that doesn't suit my perception of reality."

Mr. Bennet: “My dear, do not give way to such gloomy thoughts. Let us hope for better things. Let us flatter ourselves that I may be the survivor.”

He's hilarious, but the blasé attitude RANKLES me. I'd enjoy him more if I saw him giving SOME sort of shit about something other than being witty.

At first I thought maybe he was calm because he has something up his sleeves to ensure everything will turn out alright in the end, because otherwise how could he be so chill? But as things go on, I'm not sure he does. Is he really just that apathetic?

~~~

Chapter 24

Do dee doo, remote update on Bingley and Darcy.

Jane having a big sad. I mean, that's legit. She has a huge crush, it seemed to be reciprocated, and then her crush swanned off

Lizzy: "The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense."

Drama queen moment right here. Child. Baby. You don't know from hardship and human inconsistency. And you ARE being inconsistent yourself. If you're really grateful not to be marrying Mr. Collins, stop being butt-hurt that your friend has decided to marry him!

Throughout their conversation, Jane and Elizabeth just keep taking turns about who's the sensible one at the moment. They don't get to both be sensible at the same time, OR to both be foolish at the same time.

I kind of want to shake them both.

Mr. Bennet to Lizzy: "Let Wickham be your man. He is a pleasant fellow, and would jilt you creditably.”

Again, this would be hilarious... but only IF I saw him actually showing non-sarcastic encouragement. But without that to balance it? Mr. Bennet is just a fixture around the house who occasionally contributes snark.

Lizzy: “Thank you, sir, but a less agreeable man would satisfy me. We must not all expect Jane’s good fortune.”

Oh. OH. Lizzy manages him. She knows how to feed him the right lines that amuse him. She manages him.

I'm sorry. Excuse me. I... wow, this book might be way more feminist than I expected. Having a bit of a moment here.

“True,” said Mr. Bennet, “but it is a comfort to think that whatever of that kind may befall you, you have an affectionate mother who will make the most of it.”

Mr. Bennet. You, sir, are a fuckboy are barely more than furniture in your own home.

You know, looking back a bit, I really don't think Mr. Bennet's clever statement about "which parent do you want to see" had all that much to do with Lizzy's preferences. I feel like it had at least as much if not more to do with the fact that he really didn't want to have to tolerate Mr. Collins as a son-in-law.

Miss Bennet was the only creature who could suppose there might be any extenuating circumstances in the case, unknown to the society of Hertfordshire; her mild and steady candour always pleaded for allowances, and urged the possibility of mistakes—but by everybody else Mr. Darcy was condemned as the worst of men.

Jane, I wish you could be my new blorbo in place of Charlotte, but I'd need a bit more fire from you for that.

~~~

Huh. Just huh.

(Chapters 25 and 26)

#nemi reads p&p #pride and predujice #chapters 23 and 24

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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Just to piggyback off that post about arguing with other people and “ Could this manifest in 7s (to complete the frustration gang) in being frustrated that people are agreeing with you, and it’s just so boring?” I feel like I’m this way except instead of being frustrated that other people agree with me, I get frustrated when other people disagree with me (because my core is 6w7, possibly 613). I like when my beliefs about diet or politics are mirrored in other people although I like if they actually believe it rather than just passively agreeing or pretending to agree. I’m flattered when people copy my beliefs or my clothing choices or whatever. Imitation is the best form of flattery as the old saying goes. If some of my immediate family members disagrees with me, I try to convince them and argue my point about why I’m right (1 standpoint). I know that at first, my family members had some pushback against my diet and stuff, but they eventually came around and believed the same things I do. I don’t think I really do this with my friends though, it doesn’t feel right and kinda feels like I’m crossing a line. Instead, I might try to argue about basically nothing, stupid stuff rather than deeper, more controversial things if I think the other person will engage because why be boring? Sometimes you just want to have fun. But if I feel like the other person isn’t a fun of this kind of banter, I would back off... Sometimes I’ll engage for fun, but not when I feel like it’s getting personal and hostile. For me, it’s like I don’t know why you keep trying to pick a fight and turn things into arguments. You leave me alone, I’ll leave you alone. It’s that simple. On the positive side, I do feel he understands me the best of my family because he is the only Fe-dominant member in my family, which makes him naturally great at reading other people.

What MBTI type do you think I am, and I’m sure I’m 6w7 (In fact, the first fictional story I wrote was about trust and trying to find loyal allies before I even knew about Enneagram), but what would be my instinctual variant stacking?

Some of this sounds like high Fi (I changed my diet, and people eventually got used to it; I don't want to invade your sense of autonomy by arguing too much with you, etc; we should leave each other alone), but it's mostly about 6w7-ness, so there's nothing really for me to draw MBTI type off of. I'd guess you're an so/sp. You seem more focused on relational dynamics than self-pres concerns.

To inject a personal (sp-dom :P) anecdote here, the need for people to agree with me coming from 6 is also why I mistyped as Fe for a while. Because I can't stand it when people are wrong and/or can't see that my logic is superior, lol. So I find it really hard to let them be wrong, not argue with them, etc. That's why I'm always amused when people say 6 and 9 are hard to tell apart, because 6s being head types can't stand it when something is stupid / irrational / wrong, and are more often than not going to wind up arguing about it. But my tendency to want people to be on the same page as me isn't coming from a Fe place, it's coming from a "I don't feel safe if you aren't with me on this important thing" place. It's different from the "are you effing kidding me with typing Harry from Harry Met Sally a 4w5?!" quarrelsome average 6 "I can't stand this BS" stuff. ;)

#question #mbti #enneagram

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librariansrose · 2 years

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Sorrow’s Simplicity

Cravings, they were always insatiable at the worst of times. There was nothing as distracting or intensive as ones craving for touch. So when two souls experience the same cravings of the same intensity then well, it’s just a timer for who snaps first.

So when you found yourself locked in a room with Mikado Sannoji, your irritation for the situation only brimmed as you watched him pace around from your spot against the wall.

“This is unbelievable! Syobai must have altered the coding of this room to prevent me from using any of my magic, rendering me completely useless!” Sannoji was visibly upset, though you had kept quiet during his ramblings. Hoping it would help him blow off steam to instead wear himself out.

Your gaze fixed on him as you had finally interrupted his thoughts. “Try not to forget you aren’t the only one in here. If this were strictly Syobai, then I don’t think he meant to trap you together with anyone.”

He brought his gloved hand to his forehead with a scoff. “Yes Yes, most likely an error on his part but what of it?”

Halting his pacing he begrudgingly took a space leaning on the wall next to you, still visibly trying to cool off. Exhaling, his tone evened out, “So I take it you’d like to be as far away from me as possible?”

You dug your nails into your own folded arms, giving him a harsh stare. “Mikado Sannoji, do not put words in my mouth based on your own assumptions. Contrary to popular belief, you do in fact not know everything about the people around you.”

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, harsh stares lingering until he glances away first, opting to shut his eyes. “Say for the sake of argument that I’m wrong. Why wouldn’t you be like the others in your opinion towards me?”

Your eyes fixated on the floor as you hesitantly and quietly continued through gritted teeth. “Because I know how to empathize. I’ve seen and experienced enough to be familiar with many forms of pain.”

Your response was closed off, he noticed this. He brought his gloved hand to his chin in thought as he studied your expression and for once, just listened to you for once.

You push off the wall, taking even steps at your own pace as you begin. “I know the woes of loss in all of its forms. Love is a lie, for one. It’s an empty word that people use in order to further their own gain.”

You were dwelling in memory as you rambled, the anxiety building as you were brought back to the many spaces of agony you once endured. “Humans are cruel. No one truly values the ramblings of love, loyalty and trust as they all claim.”

You were wading through the fog of your past as your spiel continued. You didn’t want to be there, let alone remember it, but it wouldn’t stop. “Humans lie and they use people who they believe aren’t worthy of their honesty, should they have any at all.”

Sannoji just simply watched and listened to you quietly as you delved further into this state of hysteria. He had been very wrong about you and he was seeing this now.

“Time and time again, one will be under the sweet and simple delusion that they know what trust and love are. As for me? I’m convinced that all of it is just an elaborate use to further their agenda.” A laugh bubbles from your throat, tear were already staining your cheeks.

You hadn’t heard him move from the wall to approach you. Nor did you put it together when his arms wrapped around you from behind to keep your arms in place.

You had been clawing over your arms and through your scalp, not noticing of course. When it got this bad, you never noticed until after you pulled out of it.

His chin rested on your shoulder as he dragged you down with him to the floor, keeping you in his lap. “You’re not there anymore.”

His voice was soft but the tension in your shoulders struggled to melt, until he whispered softly. “Perhaps they didn’t see you, but I do.”

You choked on a sob, still not turning back to face him. There’s nothing stopping you from being like them, Sannoji. I can’t go through it again.

He hummed into your neck, his hands gliding over your arms until he was holding both of yours. The warmth of him, the silk of his gloves and his humming had brought you mostly back to the present.

“I don’t need to know all of it.” Mikado spoke softly, “I can only imagine, but it’s enough for me to see you as you were always meant to be seen.”

He places a kiss on your head and you break. Sobs spilling from you as you just crumble into him. You knew it wasn’t fair, but you had understood him well enough that of course the two of you were bound to connect like this.

Sannoji hummed as his thumbs traced over your wrists. “We can stay like this, time doesn’t have any meaning here.”

At some point through your sobs, you had drifted to sleep in his arms, unable to stay away any longer.

——

You had awoken, still being held. He had moved you both to the couch in the room. His face was buried into your shoulder and you had heard him ask. “Are you feeling any better, Dear?”

You tiredly shrugged, shifting in his lap enough to move your arms around his neck. You muttered hoarsely, “Thank you-“

You notice a gentle laugh from him as he moves to place kisses on your cheek. “If anything, you’ve taught me something new.”

Melting into him you could only hum in response, “Mh…?”

Sannoji shook his head before pressing his forehead to yours. “I’ll share it another time.”

There was a click across the room from the door. Sannoji took that as an opportunity to warp away, still holding you.

You had both ended up on the couch in your room. “Huh…? You’re going to stay with me?”

He shrugged, “For now, but should I leave at all, just know it’ll only be brief.”

He had buried his face into your shoulder and chest, opting to remain there. He embraced your warmth and decided that he’d find a way to keep you with him, regardless of his plans.

#mikado sannoji #mikado sannoji x reader #sdra2 #fanfiction #writing #angst #hurt/comfort

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kanekisbabymomma · 2 months

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i really can't anymore with tumblr. in fact, i actually can't anymore with just people. people who are 100% ok with ruining someone's social circle just so that they can benefit from a flawed side of the story.

shit happened last month that i don't foresee myself EVER being able to get over in a fast amount of time. what happened reawoke whatever sleeping trauma i haven't even processed in the past, like, 3 years?

2021 was great! seriously. i have nostalgia for it when i didn't think i would, but it ended really fucked up. in fact, the beginning of 2022, i was down friends that i had known since 2014. since 2019.

and like, i could've done a whole lot better. i really could've handled our arguments better but i took accountability for it. but nobody in my generation CARES if you do!! all they see are your past mistakes.

i apologized, so many times to this one girl, let's call her alicia....

i would break down and cry apologizing to her for how i treated her in the past. she gave me comfort in her words by telling me that she never held a second of it against me, but the day we stopped being friends? she told me she never really got her trust back.

which, i guess, is understandable. but don't fucking tell me that everything is okay and that you trust me and then turn around and say you never did. it completely shattered me and i spent the entire year of 2022 avoiding all friends i had because i had nothing left to give them.

so when i came back, made a new social media account here and actually made friends, geez, i was shocked! it's like, all the doubt i had that i could have friends was gone.

oh well, that came and went. i sit here wondering if i'm capable of having friends or if i just don't fit in with people. i feel like my personal standards for friendships aren't too much, but i guess the past makes me wonder if i'm just too particular to have friends.

i could've treated my most recent friends better! i really could've and i admit it. not a day has gone by since us 'breaking apart' that i don't think about what i could've done better. sure, i could've came clean about some shit, but i was so surprised by having friends that i let myself get too far into that side of tumblr.

and of course, it came back to bite me in the ass. i've felt as if i can't pick back up where i left off, and this app feels so lonely. i'm flopping on here with my writing, nobody gives a flying fuck, and i'm practically begging on my hands and knees for MEANINGFUL FRIENDSHIPS!!

i know the way i treated them, they probably feel a sense of relief that i'm so fucking burnt out right now, but i seriously feel like i'm never going to have friends. which fucking sucks, because all i want are people to joke around with.

yeah, i'm pretty fucking exhausted with this app. i keep coming back though because i am clinging to a false belief that i can make friends again. the friends i had before were amazing but here we are. am i posting this in hopes that someone will read it? NOT ANYMORE! i'm just talking to a piece of code on a screen at this point.

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badassbuchanan · 3 years

Text

My Girl

Request: Could you writer some sort of frenemies thing with Bucky where everyone thinks you hate each other but then Loki starts flirting with you and it makes Bucky really jealous??

Warnings: smut; non!con turned fucking sickly sweet, fingering, slut shaming, unprotected sex, doggy, missionary, dirty talk, angst.

Word count: 7968

A/N: I apologise for messing with your hearts like this - I also strayed a bit from the request (sorry anon!) x

“Buchanan, you fucker!” Y/N yelled from across the compound moments before Bucky strutted into the boardroom with a roll of his eyes.

The rest of the team’s head’s turned to follow the loud noise of Y/N yelling, watching the long haired super soldier enter the room with a smug look on his face.

“Not again.” Bruce sighed softly, his head falling into his hand as he prepared himself for another bickering match between Y/N and Bucky.

“Don’t you walk away from me.” Y/N followed Bucky into the room, her eyes fixed on the back of his head as he casually made his way over to the others.

“Guys, cut it out.” Tony spoke sternly, trying to control the two avengers who were constantly at each other’s throats.

“Just wait until you hear what he said.” Y/N looked over at Tony who’s palms were pressed against the edge of the large conference table. He shook his head, looking between the two is disbelief.

“I don't ca-”

“Don’t be such a baby.” Bucky retaliated to Y/N childishly before Tony could speak. The super soldier slumped down in the empty seat next to Cap, his eyes focused on her from across the room as his elbows rested on the arm rests of the swivel chair. Neither of them cared that they’d bought the whole room into the argument. “All I said was I’d rather take my chances with spider-boy than have Y/N as my partner on a mission.”

“This is coming from the guy who couldn’t even hold on to a train.” She growled as she pulled out the seat next to Nat, who was smiling an amusement at how well Y/N stood up for herself. Bucky scoffed at her comment, shaking his head as he thought of something to anger her further.

Peter’s face screwed up in shock after realising his name had been mentioned, his arms coming up to cross over his body defensively. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked as a devious smile appear on Bucky’s face. Peter glanced over at Tony for help, but he was too annoyed to care about the youngest avenger’s feelings.

“It means-” Y/N words were cut off by a loud bang of Tony’s hand hitting the desk. The sound made everyone jolt slightly, the room immediately silencing.

“Enough!” He yelled furiously, eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he glared between the bickering pair. “I didn’t call this meeting to hear you two fight. You’re already late, now stop acting like children and listen up.”

Y/N bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop the laughter that was building up inside of her from hearing Tony yell as she glared over at Bucky.

“Asshole.” She mouthed to Bucky, who was already smirking at the fact that they’d been told off like toddlers.

“Snitch.” He whispered back cheekily, secretly liking the way he knew it would make her laugh. Bucky liked being the only reason she got frustrated, wound up and tense. But he also liked being the only reason she smiled, laughed and blushed.

Bucky had this hold on Y/N that couldn’t be explained. She’d tried to reason with herself, telling her inner-self it was just her caring nature that made her feel sorry for him, even when he was a complete dick to her. He was constantly doing things to purposely annoy her or to get a reaction. It gave him a thrill. Like a power trip that sent pleasure to his brain. And he took advantage of that any chance he got.

“Now, over the past few weeks the threats from the Beyonders have increased noticeably.” Tony stood up straight, tugging his collar back into place as he clicked the button of the control he was holding. The screen changed, a mathematical graph appearing to prove Tony’s point.

Y/N chanced a glance over at Bucky, his fingers on each hand intwined as he swivelled lightly in the chair. God, he was so infuriating. There wasn’t a day that went by without him getting on her last nerve. He frustrated her beyond belief. But for some twisted reason, she loved it.

“Now we don’t know a lot about who they are, what they want or where they came from.” Tony continued, the room dead silent as he flicked to the next slide.

Bucky bit the inside of his lip, a frown appearing on his brows as he zoned out to what Tony was saying. He was bored already, deciding to look down at his metal hand as he wiggled his fingers to amuse himself, studying the mechanics of it.

He felt a pair of eyes burning into him, glancing over to Y/N. A smug smile washed over his face when he noticed her already looking at him. He gave her a quick wink, pouting his lips into a kissing motion as she rolled her eyes.

“So, we’ve had to call on the help of an old acquaintance.” Tony turned to face the team again, his fingers lightly tapping on the table in front of him as his eyes darted around the room. Luckily by that point, Y/N and Bucky had both turned their eyes back to the spokesman.

Tony’s tongue quickly darted out to the corner of his mouth, the unknown reaction of the team was making him anxious.

“Excuse me, Mr Stark. Thor and Loki have just landed. Should I send them in?” F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice came through the intercom, immediately causing a few murmurs from the team.

“Loki’s here?” Y/N’s eyes lit up immediately as she looked up at Tony for confirmation. Bucky’s head shot round to where she sat, eyebrows furrowing as he wondered who the hell Loki was and why Y/N was so excited to see him.

“You called Loki?” Steve almost shot up out of his chair, a look of betrayal on his face as he stared at Tony, waiting for an explanation. “Tony, he is not an acquaintance.”

The fact that Steve was so put off by the mention of Loki had Bucky even more concerned. If Steve had a problem with him, so did he. Especially since Y/N liked him. As the room grew louder in outbursts of resentment regarding Tony’s decision, so did Bucky’s brain.

He watched Y/N try and fix her hair subtly, sitting up straighter in her chair as an unusual feeling flooded through him. He wasn't angry, but he sure as hell wasn’t happy.

The beep of the boardroom door opening quickly silenced the group, Y/N’s head turning to watch the God of Thunder walk into the room. “Hello everyone.” Thor nodded with a sweet smile, pleased to be back with his friends again. “Good to see you all.”

It was almost as if a cold wind engulfed the room as Bucky watched the dark haired, chiseled faced, pale god strut into the room. Bucky’s jaw clenched, his eyes darkening as he felt a wave of overwhelming hate flood through his body. He noticed Loki’s hair was longer than his own. His eyes brighter. His smile wider. His jaw sharper.

“Greetings, all.” His voice was slicker. He was charismatic. He was charming. He was everything Bucky wasn’t and he fucking hated him. Bucky felt his heartbeat quicken as he watched Loki greet everyone individually, stopping in his tracks as he reached Y/N’s chair.

She’d turned to face him, her eyes lit up like fireworks as she looked up at the god of mischief who had put his hands over his mouth. “My god,” Loki gasped softly as he pulled his best puppy dog face, leaning his hands on the arms of Y/N chair to get close to her. “Y/N, you look more beautiful every time I see you, my love.”

Bucky felt his jaw clench so tight he was sure it would break. His hands closed into tight fists as he sat up a little straighter in his chair. He was livid. Livid at the fact that this green-eyed hot shot thought he could waltz in and steal Y/N away from him. Bucky was the only one that made her smile. He was the only one that got to have her attention.

“Oh, Loki, stop, you’re making me blush.” She giggled softly and wrapped her arms around his neck like they belonged there. Loki turned his face towards her, leaving a gentle kiss on her flushed cheek before he stood back up. Bucky had never made her giggle like that. He’d never kissed her cheek before. He’d spent every damn day with her and he never got her to blush like a little school girl.

“Maybe later you can show me your favourite spots and we can talk about what's changed since I was last here.” Loki spoke softly, taking Y/N’s hand in his as he pulled it against his chest dotingly.

A few snickers broke out from the rest of the team, not surprised one bit at Loki and Y/N’s interaction. Believe it or not, Y/N wasn’t Loki’s biggest fan. She would never actually progress their friendship to anything more than flirting, deep down she didn’t trust him just as much as Steve didn’t. But Y/N did love the attention that Loki gave her. How he treated her like a princess and devoted himself to her every word. She liked how he complimented her and made a fuss. She liked how he made her feel special in a room full of people.

But all that Bucky saw unravelling in front of his eyes was the start of one of those soppy rom-coms that he despised. “We have training later, Y/N.” His words came out a lot more aggressive than he originally intended.

The whole room’s attention turned to him, straight faced and stiffened body. Loki stood up straight as a glimmer shone in his eyes. He noticed how on edge the super soldier looked.

“Yeah, we’ll still have time to train, Bucky.” She spoke with a level of concern, noticing the unusual seriousness on Bucky’s face. “I wouldn’t skip on the opportunity to kick your ass.” She smirked, face immediately dropping as she watched Bucky quickly divert his eyes away, not entertaining her with his usual sarcastic response.

“Bucky?” Loki’s voice was low as thoughts flew through his brain at a million miles per hour. He smiled deviously, eyes squinting as his heart jumped at the chance to cause mischief. “James Buchanan Barnes. The winter soldier.”

Bucky clenched his jaw again as his eyes flickered up to Loki before back to the table, he could feel his anger bubbling over. Loki had been getting under his skin ever since he walked through the damn door.

“Hydra’s most successful experiment, their deadliest weapon.” Loki made a quick move around the table to stand in front of Bucky, his eyes widening with excitement as he held his hand out in front of him. “May I say what a pleasure it is to meet you.”

Steve noticed Bucky’s metal hand grip tightly around the arm of his chair as he politely lifted his flesh arm to quickly shake Loki’s hand. Bucky smiled as he momentarily looked up at the long haired god, using all of his will power to stay calm.

“How did it feel to know how many people you killed once you got your mind back?” Loki’s words were slow and full of deviance as Bucky’s metal arm began whirring into action.

Y/N watched worriedly, she annoyed the crap out of Bucky all the time, but she’d never seen him so angry. Her heart sunk as she watched Bucky’s eyes darken, a soft, lost look on his face that disappeared so quick she almost thought she’d imagined it.

Steve’s eyes widened as he watched the event unfold. “I think that’s enough chit chat, Loki.” He spoke sternly, Loki’s eyes immediately glancing over to Steve. He knew the fact that Steve had to step in meant he’d done a good job of infuriating Bucky. “Why don’t you just get on with what you came here to do.”

Loki stayed silent, pleased with his work as he flickered quick a smile, striding back up to the front of the room where Tony stood.

“The Beyonders are a race of extra-dimensional entities powerful enough to collect planets.” Loki went straight into ‘business mode’, his charismatic nature immediately made most of the room forget what he’d just said to Bucky.

But Steve was concerned, and embarrassingly enough, so was Y/N. Yes, she loved to aggravate Bucky, wind him up until he was chasing her down the hallway or whining at her to stop being a brat. But it was never to hurt him, she made sure of that. Not like what Loki had just done. She tried to silently get his attention by glancing over at him every now and then, but Bucky’s eyes didn’t budge from the table.

“Their nature is so alien that they are unable to leave their own dimension and for millennia were never observed by any being of the Earth dimension.” Loki continued to teach the team about the threat they were facing, the room silent as mostly everyone paid attention. “To interact with the Earth dimension they must operate through agents.”

“So basically, what Loki is saying is, it’s not just one race we’re up against here. It’s gunna be a big ass battle.” Tony interjected Loki’s speech, he’d read the room enough to know he’d lost the attention of three of his avengers already. There was no need for this to continue. “That’s all you need to know for now. We’ll regroup tomorrow for another meeting. Thank you, Loki.”

The team stood up, casually making their way out of the room after Tony had ended the meeting. Y/N lagged behind, watching Steve and Sam mumbling something incoherent to Bucky.

By the looks of things he didn’t want to listen to what they had to say, the long haired super soldier pushed past his oldest friend with a frown on his face, not lifting his eyes even once as he left the room.

Y/N sighed as she watched Bucky storm out of the room, she’d never seen him act out so much, he was always so internal with his emotions. She didn’t like the way Loki brought up Bucky’s past in front of everyone like that. She almost felt protective over Bucky, like she was the only one who should be able to tease him about that kind of stuff.

The look on Bucky’s face when Loki had mentioned the Winter Soldier’s assassinations made Y/N’s heart ache. It was as if everything came flooding back to him in an instant, like a bad dream he couldn’t wake up from.

Y/N and Bucky had never discussed such personal things, no way. She didn’t know that he suffered from PTSD, flashbacks and social anxiety. She didn’t know about the nights he lay awake haunted by his past. All she saw was a grumpy looking soldier who only smiled when he was making fun of her.

“Darling,” Loki’s sudden call to her knocked Y/N out of her thoughts. Her head was forced to turn to the side by the god of mischief, whose hands were on her shoulders. He smiled down at her dotingly, eyes bright as he fed her attention-needy ego. “What do you say we make the most of this alone time we’ve been so generously given, hm?”

She smiled softly up at him, although her eyes were glazed over as her mind wandered off again. “Sorry Loki, but I should go and get ready for training.” Her voice was monotone and quiet as she suddenly wasn’t so interested in the attention of the man in front of her.

She left the room and wandered through the compound, stopping in her tracks when she saw Sam, Steve and Nat talking in the kitchen. “Hey, Steve.” Y/N called out, confused as to why she was suddenly so concerned about the metal armed man.

As all three of the avenger’s heads turned to where she was standing, Y/N began second guessing her decision to ask if Bucky was okay. She hated Bucky, he annoyed the shit out of her. Even if she asked, the team would just think she was asking to make sure he wasn’t okay. What if they thought she’d take Loki’s side? Or worse. What if they thought she’d set Loki up to hurt Bucky? Even worse than that. What if Bucky thought Y/N had set Loki up to hurt him?

“Never mind.” She sighed as she bit the inside of her lip, continuing her walk through the compound until she reached her room.

She quickly changed into a red sports bra with navy detailing and leggings to match. She looked in the mirror after tying her training shoes and tied her hair into a high pony tail. She turned around, shamelessly checking out her ass before making her way down to the training room.

She waited for a whole half an hour for Bucky to show, but he never did. She stood up from where she’d eventually laid down on the rubber floor mat, she couldn’t help but feel guilty about what had happened earlier. Bucky obviously blamed her, why else wouldn’t he show? He’d never been late before.

“He didn’t show, huh?” Y/N glanced up as Steve walked into the room, tight grey top and black shorts.

She shook her head, lifting her arms to tighten her pony tail before placing her hands on her hips. “Any idea where he is?”

“In his room.” Steve shrugged, knowing that’s where Bucky spent most of his time. He started throwing controlled practice punches at the punching bag in front of him, stopping as he watched Y/N walk towards the door. “Maybe take it easy on him. I know he can annoy you sometimes but, I just think he’s having a bad day.”

She couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle as she turned back to face Steve, he really thought she was going to yell at him for not showing up to training. She couldn’t blame him for thinking that, any other day and that's probably exactly what she would’ve done. “Loki was really out of line earlier, I actually just want to make sure Bucky’s okay.”

Steve smiled proudly at her from where he was taping up his hands, nodding slightly as if he were giving her the ‘go ahead’. There weren’t many people, even living in the compound, that would be willing to go out of their way to make sure Bucky was okay. It was partly his own fault, he was very stand-offish.

“Come in.” Y/N was surprised when she heard Bucky’s voice call out from beyond the door after she’d knocked. Honestly, she wasn’t expecting a response.

She opened the door slowly, noticing his neatly kept room with minimal belongings. She looked over Bucky who was standing by the foot of his bed, he was wearing different clothes from earlier. That, his slicked back hair and the scent of peppermint told Y/N that he’d just had a shower.

“What do you want?” Bucky mumbled bluntly, turning his back to her as he walked over to his desk to grab a newspaper. Y/N shut the door behind her quietly, watching as he glared at her before diverting his eyes away. He rubbed his face in his hand, sighing out of frustration when she didn’t answer. “I said what do you want?”

“Woah, at ease soldier.” She chuckled lightly, trying to make a joke to calm her nerves. She’d never been in Bucky’s room before. She’d never genuinely asked him about his feelings. She had no clue how he’d react. What if he made fun of her? “So this is why you bailed on our training, huh?” She smiled softly, pointing at the newspaper in his hand.

“I’m surprised you even noticed I wasn’t there.” Bucky scoffed out spitefully, referring to Loki asking to spend time with her.

“Of course I noticed.” Y/N frowned in confusion, watching Bucky roll his eyes as he slammed the newspaper back on the table.

“Why? Because you and your boyfriend didn’t have anyone to make fun of?” Bucky raised his voice, eyes squinting in anger as glared at her from where he stood. “Is that why you’re here now, hm? Didn’t get enough time to piss me off earlier? Or do you just wanna see how far you can push me before I snap?”

“Loki is not my boyfriend.” She screwed her face up, raising her voice to match his as she waved her hands in the air.

“Yeah, well, you suit each other.” Bucky snapped back sarcastically, a deep crease between his eyebrows formed as he frowned.

Y/N clenched her jaw, a burning heat rising up in her as her anger took control. “I came here to make sure you were okay, asshole!” She yelled furiously back at him, crossing her arms defensively.

“Oh yeah? Since when do you care about me?” Bucky spoke sarcastically, leaning his shoulder against the wall as he crossed his arms and waited for her response.

“Believe it or not, Bucky, some of us do care about you!” She snapped back at his sarcasm, her chest heaving with fury as she watched him immediately jolt off of the wall. “Normal people care about people other than themselves.”

“And I don’t?” His voice lowered drastically, he started walking towards her as if she were his prey. “Why? Because I have no feelings?” He clenched his fists by his sides, watching her press her back against the door as he stalked closer.

“I don’t know! No one knows what goes on in that cyborg brain of yours!” She argued, agrivated that she had tried to do the right thing by coming to see him, but his stubbornness was causing an argument.

“So that’s how you see me, huh? A robot with no emotion? An empty vessel? A killing machine?” Y/N gasped as Bucky’s metal hand tightened around her throat, pushing her head back against the door harshly. Her eyes widened innocently, trying to regain her breath as his face came square with hers. “You don’t know shit about me. About the constant fucking torture inside my head.”

“You didn’t kill those people, Bucky, it was Hydra. I saw the way you looked like a scared little puppy when Loki mentioned the-“

“The what?” Bucky growled huskily, keeping her head in place as his eyes stared into hers. He watched her pupils dialate as he squeezed the sides of her neck with his metal fingers.

His heart had stopped for a moment when she’d told him that Hydra was the one she blamed for what he’d done. He didn’t expect anyone to think that way, especially not her. A wave of emotion flooded through him, not jealously this time, but...what? Whatever it was, it caused butterflies in his tummy.

Bucky felt his cock twitch slightly at the sight of her submitting it him, for once in her life not fighting him. “The winter soldier?” Bucky whispered into her ear, Y/N’s eyes closing as she started to feel her pussy tingle. “Is that what this is all about? You wanna meet him? Wanna see me turn into a monster? Watch the light disappear from my eyes as I fucking destroy you?”

She couldn’t explain why his threats turned her on, all she knew was that she’d never been so aroused in her life. Her chest was heaving as he whispered in her ear, her panties flooding as his metal arm choked her.

The look she gave Bucky sent his head into a spin. She looked so helpless and innocent beneath his hand, but there was a hint of desire in her eyes. She wanted him, she wanted to please him, she wanted him to take whatever he wanted from her.

“You don’t scare me.” She whimpered softly, her lips parting as she tried to breathe. Bucky’s eyes flickered over her lips as an uncontrollable urge to kiss her washed over him.

“Still so mouthy.” He shook his head with a tut, their lips almost touching as he jolted his hand, pushing her head against the wall with more force. She let out a small cry. “You know there are other ways to get attention, baby.”

Y/N’s arousal was soaking through the material covering her crotch, her pebbled nipples rubbing against her sports bra. “Well it’s not my fault you’re always pissing me off.” She whispered bravely, her eyes fixed on his which had grown noticeably darker.

“Oh?” Bucky arched his eyebrow, tilting his head back slightly to assert his dominance. “You don’t like when I wind you up? When I say things to purposely get you to snap?” He leaned his head down, his lips tickling the delicate skin just behind where his fingers finished pressing into her neck.

Y/N listened closely to his words, realising that Bucky hadn’t been treating her that way because he hated her. He hadn’t been constantly on at her because he didn’t get along with her. In fact, he did it because he knew exactly what she liked. Exactly what kind of interactions she thrived off of. The kind that would always bring her back for more.

Bucky took her silence as an agreement, a smirk playing on his lips as he continued kissing her neck softly. “I know exactly what gets you going, don’t I?” He continued, finally letting go of her neck as his metal arm trailed down her chest.

Y/N let out a shaky breath as her throat was now unrestricted, her eyes dropping to where his hand was on her. Bucky’s flesh palm was planted firmly on the wall next to her head, trapping her there.

“Is that why you’re always so frustrated around me? Hm? Constantly coming back for more?” He kissed her cheek, almost affectionately as he watched her squirm under his touch. “Such a needy little attention whore.”

She didn’t bite back, her head lifted to lean against the wall, her thighs desperately rubbing together to relieve some of the tension building between her thighs. She liked it.

Bucky chuckled deeply, looking down at where his fingers had dropped to play with the waistband of her exercise leggings. He hooked the tips of his metal fingers inside, entertaining himself as he looked back up at her. “Tell me honestly, baby, whose attention do you crave most?”

“Yours.” She whimpered desperately, not even taking a moment to think. His lips ghosted over hers, his eyes big and innocent as he brushed their noses together.

“Not that green goblin who calls himself a god?” Bucky tested as he stepped closer, their bodies touching as his hand pressed against her lower stomach. She whimpered at the feeling of his cold metal fingers on her bare skin, so close to where she needed him most.

“No.” She submitted to him instantly, shaking her head as Bucky slowly pushed his hand further down into her pants.

He stopped when he reached the band of her panties, a loud gulp erupted from Y/N’s throat as Bucky teased her even more. “You sure? S’not too late to go running back to him.”

“No, Bucky, I want you.” She breathed out shakily, almost crying in frustration as Bucky licked his lips, her words were like music to his ears. Her hand came down to rest on his lower tummy, feeling his muscles through the thin material of his t-shirt.

“Why, Y/N?” He growled as their breaths hit each others lips, she clawed softly at his stomach, overwhelmed with pleasure before he’d even begun. “Tell me why you want me and not him.”

She felt exhausted, like her body could collapse at any moment. She was in a euphoric state from his light touches and words alone. She looked down at his lips, her eyes half shut as she grabbed hold of his metal wrist, pushing his hand down into her panties.

Y/N let out a soft moan as his metal fingers slipped between her slick folds, her head hitting the wall with a thud. She looked up at Bucky, watching his eyes fall to where his hand disappeared into her leggings. His brows were furrowed in a frown, his mouth slightly hung open as he slipped his fingers deeper into her. “Because only you make me wet.”

Bucky lost control, pushing his lips against hers in a desperate kiss as two of his metal fingers slipped into her hole. Y/N moaned into the kiss, her hand flying up to hold the back of his neck, pulling him down harder onto her lips. If only he’d known. If only he’d known that every cocky remark, every teasing comment left her this wet.

“God, if Id’ve known all it took to shut you up was my fingers in your wet little hole I would’ve fucked you a long time ago.” Bucky chuckled darkly, his words were condescending. He pushed his tongue between her lips, a growl escaping his throat as she sucked on his warm muscle.

His fingers moved in and out of her aching pussy, his whole hand drenched in her arousal. Y/N whimpered when he curled his fingers inside of her, hitting a spot of pleasure that she didn't know was there.

“Bucky.” She moaned against his lips, her hips bucking into his hand as his thumb moved to rub her throbbing clit. She tugged on his hair, her arms resting on his shoulders as she steadied herself.

“You wanna cum, don’t you?” He asked smugly, tilting his head before pressing their lips together sensually. “You wanna cum all over metal hand, you horny little slut.”

“Yeah.” She whimpered out breathlessly, sucking on his top lip as she rocked her hips against his hand, pushing them further inside of her. “Make me cum, please, Bucky.”

“I’m the only one who gets to touch you like this, you hear me?” Bucky growled into her mouth, biting down on her lip hard enough to hurt. He felt Y/N’s hips rut against his hand again, a smile appearing on his lips as he felt how desperate she was.

She whimpered, her back arching off of the wall as she rolled her hips toward him. She looked up into his eyes innocently, like he was the only person in the world.

Bucky felt his cock pressing harshly against the material of his track pants, desperate for attention. He watched her bounce on his fingers, her hand moving from his shoulder to pull the tight material of her sports bra over her tits, letting them bounce freely.

Bucky’s eyes darkened at the sight of her boobs, his fingers speeding up inside her tight pussy as he met every movement of her hips. “Fuck yourself on my hand, just like that, make yourself cum.”

Her thighs clenched around his hand, controlling his movements as she clung to his wrist, fucking herself on his hand just like he’d told her to. “Shit, Bucky.”

Y/N clenched rapidly around his metal fingers, his thumb harshly pressed against her sensitive nub as she felt her orgasm taking over.

She leaned in to press her lips against his, hoping to muffle the moans, but Bucky was too fast. He moved his head out of reach, smiling down at her deviously as she came.

Her moans filled the room, her nails digging in to his shoulder as she bucked her hips unrhythmatically into his palm. “Fuck.” She whimpered as she clung to his chest, trying to calm down from the overwhelming sensation.

Bucky pulled his fingers out of her before she could even catch a breath, little moans escaping her lips as she watched him suck his fingers soaked in her juices.

“Shit.” He breathed heavily as he looked down at where his fingers had just been, a noticble wet patch covering the material of her leggings. “You’re so fucking wet, soaked right through your leggings.”

Y/N whimpered in response, tugging his metal hand down to her mouth as she sucked on his fingers. Bucky clenched his jaw as he watched her submissively take his fingers, her soft plump lips wrapping around them.

“Bucky,” she breathed shakily as he pulled his fingers from her mouth to hold her hips. She wrapped her hands around his biceps as she pulled body against hers. “I want you to fuck me.”

He smiled darkly at her desperate state, his cock throbbing as he tilted his head to the side. “It’s gunna hurt.” He chuckled, enjoying the thought of impaling her on his cock.

“Good,” She pouted as she ran her hands down his muscular form, desperate to feel his cock in her hand. “I want it to hurt.”

Bucky immediately caught on to what she was doing, his hands quickly moving to grab her wrists tightly. He skilfully used his strength to spin her around, her exposed chest pressing hard against the wall as he held her hands behind the small of her back.

Y/N let out a small cry, his body pressed tightly against her back. She felt the outline of his cock pressing against her ass cheek as she ground back into him.

“Don’t you dare try and take control.” Bucky growled deeply, his head dropping as he watched his bulge rub against her.

Bucky groaned at the feeling, he let go of her wrists, her palms moving to press against the wall. His hands quickly moved to pull the waistband of her leggings and panties down to free her ass.

He gulped loudly as he watched the wetness pool down onto her panties. Bucky had to stop himself from dropping to his knees and fucking her with his tongue.

“Come on Bucky,” Y/N whined desperately as she kicked her bottoms off the rest of the way, almost crying out of frustration. “Don’t you wanna fuck the brat out of me?” She turned her head to look at him, biting her lip as she watched him tugging on his cock that he’d pulled out of the confinements of his pants.

He was huge. Her lips parted in a gasp as she took in the beauty of his cock. She had to stop herself from turning around and sucking him off. Bucky lifted his flesh hand up to her mouth, watching as she obediently licked a strip up his palm with her tongue.

Bucky looked her almost naked form up and down, moving his wet hand to lubricate his cock as he tugged himself off. “God, you make me so wet, Bucky.” She moaned sensually, spreading her legs a little wider as she felt her juices running down the inside of her thigh.

He closed his eyes, letting his metal fingers dig into her hip as he positioned himself behind her, lining his tip up with her dripping heat. He bit his lip, forcing his cock into her tight walls as she moaned like a pornstar for him.

“Oh, yes.” She screamed at the feeling of his thick length stretching her pussy. “Fuck, Bucky.” She felt his cock twitch inside of her, encouraging her to moan louder. She closed her eyes, leaning her cheek against the cold wall as she tried to adjust to his monstrous size.

“Good girl, let everyone know who you belong to.” Bucky moaned as he stilled, fully sheathed inside of her. Her pussy clenched around him, hugging his thick shaft trying to milk him of his cum.

“You’re so big.” She whimpered submissively, trying to stop her hips from jolting to get used to his cock throbbing inside of her. Bucky could tell that she was already fucked out, his cock was too much for her to take. But for once, she wasn’t answering him back or being a pain in his ass. She was begging him.

Bucky bit down on his bottom lip as he suddenly began moving his hips in and out of her, the action easy because of how wet she was. He held her hips in place as she cried out, still trying to adjust to his size. Her tits bounced as she lost control of her body, pushing her palm harder against the wall as she steadied herself.

“No, Bucky, wait.” She whimpered, moving her other hand back to push his hip back, needing a little more time to adjust. A dull ache took over her pussy as he fucked her relentlessly, easily fighting against where her hand was pushing him away.

“You said you wanted it to hurt.” He growled dominantly, pulling her hips back against his cock as he fucked into her, treating her like his own little sex doll. His cock twitched at the sound of her erotic moans filling the room loudly, a grunt erupting from his lips as he watched his cock disappear into her pussy.

Her clit throbbed with pleasure, her ass being pulled back harshly against his skin. Slapping sounds grew louder with her pussy still dripping with arousal, his cock easily slipping in and out of her.

“I do,” She breathed heavily, her head spinning with pleasure as she dropped her hand from his hip, the feeling of needing to help him feel better overwhelming her senses. “Take it all out on me, Buck.”

His hips didn’t let up, fucking deep into her as he felt a different feeling flow through his body. He looked at the girl in front of him, so ready to help him fuck away his problems. So ready to help him, where most people would’ve run.

Bucky’s heart felt like mush, a moan leaving his lips as Y/N arched her back into his touch. He moved his body forward to press his chest flush against her back, his metal hand pressing into the wall.

He’d pushed his cock deeper into her with the new angle, another loud moan of his name escaping her lips as she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

Bucky felt her pussy clenching around him again, his flesh arm wrapping around her chest to hug her tighter against him. She started circling her hips on his cock, a deep growl came from his chest as he fucked her.

“Did you mean it?” He whispered into her ear, fucking deep inside of her as he made her moan for him. She whimpered softly, her eyes closing in pure bliss as she felt his cock pressing against her cervix.

She turned her head towards him, her eyes darkened and fucked out as she looked at his face. His stubble scratched her cheek, his eyes glistening in the dull light of the room. He waited for an answer for what seemed like a lifetime, his thrusts getting rougher as he clenched his thighs.

“Did you mean it?” He repeated the question, feeling his balls slapping against her skin. Y/N looked up into his eyes, noticing the softness in them which wasn’t there before. “Did you mean it when you said you’re not scared of me?”

A warm feeling flooded Y/N’s heart as she saw that look again - the scared puppy look that she’d seen when Loki mentioned the winter soldier. Her chest tightened around itself, the pain in his eyes was so deep it almost hurt her to see.

“Yes,” She nodded softly, her hand moving to play with his hair as she watched Bucky’s eyes flicker down to her lips. “Of course I meant it.” Her eyebrows raised, almost to confirm her sincerity as she pressed her lips to his.

Bucky sighed in relief as he felt her lips against his, embarrassingly too shy to do it himself. He deepened his thrusts, hugging her body as he fucked up into her. But now it was more than fucking, it was like they were connected on a completely different level. Like they understood each other more than anyone else would ever understand them. Y/N had never seen this side of him before and it was making her fall in love. and that scared her.

She pushed her ass back against him, moaning into the kiss as she felt his cock twitching inside her walls. She knew she was close, her clit tingling at the full feeling of his length fucking her. Bucky knew it too, he felt the way she was squeezing around him.

He felt an overwhelming amount of emotion coursing through his veins, his heart almost beating out of his chest as he slid his cock out of her. Before she could protest, Bucky spun Y/N to face him, his chest heaving as she pressed her hand against his peck.

“Do you think you could ever love me?” He nudged her nose with his, looking down at the floor as he breathed shakily. Her eyes saddened at his vulnerability, wondering how many times that thought had crossed his mind, thinking the answer was no. “Do you think anyone could ever love me?”

“God, you’re such a fucking idiot sometimes, Barnes.” She sighed with a sad smile, a little chuckle escaping her lips as Bucky looked up at her eyes in a moment of bravery.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his automatically move to hold her hips. She felt his throbbing cock against her crotch, ignoring the sexual desire as she focused on taking care of his feelings. “Of course I love you.” She admitted shyly, the flush on her cheeks not just from the raw fucking.

Bucky tried to control the smile from beaming on his face, but he failed miserably. She looked up at the handsome soldier, her heart skipping a beat knowing she was the reason for his happiness. “Why else do you think I constantly bug you? Or instantly forgive you for all the things you do to make me mad, hm?” She played with his hair as Bucky licked his lips, admiring her through hooded eyes.

She squealed as Bucky suddenly pressed his lips against hers deeply, giggling like a little school girl as he picked her up by her thighs. Bucky’s heart fluttered at the sound of her laughing, her hand cupping his stubble-covered face as she tilted her head into the kiss.

Bucky turned them around, walking them over to his bed as he flicked his tongue between her parted lips. She moaned into the kiss, feeling herself falling before her back landed on the soft mattress.

She opened her eyes when Bucky took his lips away, a small pouty smile on her lips as she watched him lifting his shirt over his head. She ran her hand down his bare chest as Bucky threw the material to the floor.

Y/N took the opportunity to lift her sports bra the rest of the way off, letting it join Bucky’s t-shirt. He sat up between her legs, admiring her now fully naked form as he tugged his tracksuit pants off.

Bucky hovered back over her, his hands coming to rest either side of her head as he followed her eyes to where his metal arm fused with his skin. He gulped loudly as her hand came up towards the modification, her eyes meeting his to ask for permission.

Bucky nodded nervously, still in slight disbelief that she hadn’t run away yet. He felt her soft fingers trace the frame of the metal shoulder, following the boarder which connected to his flesh. His heart skipped a beat as she watched a soft smile cover her face, moving her eyes back up to meet his. “It’s so beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” He smiled down at her bashfully, moving his hand to grab hold of hers as he leaned down towards her lips.

“My goodness, did I just hear old man Barnes call me-”

He cut off her sass with a kiss, a chuckle erupting from both of them as he shook his head. “Don’t ruin the moment.” She scrunched his face up with a smile, looking down at her dotingly.

“Sorry.” She giggled cheekily, wrapping her thighs around his hips as she pulled him closer. Her nails scratched lightly down his back as she lifted her head to kiss him again.

Bucky groaned, feeling his cock rub against her pussy lips. A moan escaped Y/N’s lips as she tugged on his hair, feeling his cock pushing back inside her.

“Fuck.” She let out in a whimper, her eyes big and innocent as she felt him bottom out inside of her. She tilted her head to the side, her other hand holding his chest as she deepened the kiss.

Bucky started fucking her deep and slow, feeling every clench of her needy pussy. He breathed heavily through his nose, short grunts vibrating in his throat as he twitched inside of her.

“Y/N,” He moaned deeply, letting their lips brush against each other as her breath tickled his face. “I love you.” He clenched his jaw as he felt his orgasm approaching fast.

Her tits bounced against his chest, her back arching at the feeling of him filling her sweet cunt with his cock. “I love you, Buck.” She let out with a cry, Bucky’s skin rubbing her throbbing clit as her thighs clenched around his body, a wave of euphoria erupted through her body.

“Oh, Bucky.” Her hips erratically bucked up to meet his, her pussy pulsing around him as she came. Her nails dug harder into his back, leaving imprints that would at least last a day.

“Fuck.” Bucky moaned into her neck, his brows furrowing into a frown as he muffled his grunts against her skin. The feeling of her coming on top of him had Bucky’s hands gripping tightly at the bedsheets. “I’m gunna cum.”

“Bucky,” She whimpered shyly, rubbing the back of his neck soothingly as she hugged him close, rolling her hips onto his. “Can you cum inside me?”

“You want me to?” He groaned softly, trying to stop himself from cumming so soon, but the feeling of her was too good.

“Please.” She nodded as Bucky turned his head to look at her, hovering his lips against hers for a second before pressing them against his passionately. He felt his orgasm hit, his hips rutting into her as he filled her with his cum.

Y/N looked down at where their bodies were connected, watching his cock slide into her overstimulated pussy as he rode out his high. She whimpered softly as she rubbed his shoulder soothingly, his softening cock slipping out of her.

Bucky looked down too, both watching as his cum dribbled out of her pussy. He smiled proudly before looking back up at her, tracing his finger over her cheek lightly. “Guess the team will be happy that this means our constant bickering will stop.” Bucky chuckled sweetly, looking down at her face.

“What does this mean?” She prodded him lightly with her finger, smiling up at him as she admired his gorgeous eyes.

“It means you’re my girl.” He mumbled before kissing her lips softly.

“Do I get a say in this at all?” She faked a shocked look and giggled in amusement, watching the cheeky smile appear on his face.

Bucky shook his head before kissing her again. “No.” He smiled softly, the feeling of pure happiness making him kiss her over and over.

“Okay, fine, I’ll be your girl.” She let out a fake sigh of exasperation, her heart thudding against her chest like she’d never felt before. “But I just have one question.”

“Okay.” Bucky dragged out the word suspiciously, sitting up on his knees as he rubbed the tops of her thighs.

“Do you honestly think me being your girlfriend means I’m not gunna still constantly annoy the shit out of you?” She let out lowly with a smirk, watching Bucky groan dramatically as he dropped down next to her on the bed, a huge smile on his face.

He knew she was right, but he didn't mind at all. In fact, he never minded before anyway.

tag list:

@harrysthiccthighss

@annestine

@bestofbucky

@be-patient-be-good

@nothing0is4here

@velvetcardiganbucky

2K notes · View notes

remcycl333 · 3 years

Text

you don’t need to be happy to be manifest!! but...

who doesn’t want to be happy?

(long post alert, sorry in advance lol. but please read it all the way through, i really think it’ll be worth it<3)

ok, to preface this, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. i’ve manifested great, positive things while i was in depressive episodes. i manifested wonderful things with tears streaming down my face. BUT, i think something a lot of people overlook is that it’s really beneficial to feel positively about your desires.

this is something i realized a few months ago, saw great results from, and then forgot all about and, well, stopped seeing the progress i wanted. but i’m back on track now, don’t you worry.

(i’m going to be using the example of my sp, bc that’s what i have the most experience with, but this applies to literally anything u r manifesting)

i’ve made a few other posts saying pretty much what i’m about to say in this next paragraph, so if you’ve already read those, i’m sorry for repeating myself. just bear with me lol.

so i came to a realization a few months ago--and i don’t exactly remember how i came to this realization--that i kind of...hated my sp? like i fucking resented him. and i was like, wait a minute, that’s not right. i love my sp. that’s why i’m trying to manifest him! so why do i feel like this?

i used to focus on manifesting in steps, so naturally the first step was contact. so i’d be affirming all day every day “my sp is texting me right fucking now😡“ (and other variations) and then when he didn’t text me, it’d just make me angry at him. but technically, he didn’t even do anything wrong?? sure he didn’t text me, but he had no clue he was supposed to? idk it was all complicated and weird. and then when i wasn’t mad that he didn’t text me, i was having arguments with him in my head, preparing for some weird fight that my brain just assumed was going to happen whenever we did get into contact. which is weird, bc my sp and i never fight. like, this is my ex. yet i literally cannot tell you a single fight that we have ever had. we literally get along perfectly. we have never fought (or even argued) once in all the time that we’ve known each other. yet my brain was always fighting him. and it was just, exhausting?

and so one day, when i was troubleshooting, i realized: rem, if you were in a relationship right now with your sp, would u hate him? would u be constantly fighting with him? god i fucking hope not!

now, what would i be thinking? i’d be laying in bed at night, hugging my pillow, thinking about how much i love him. reflecting on how happy he makes me, how perfect he is, how good he makes me feel. i’d be thinking about how he is the most perfect boyfriend i could ever have asked for. i’d be content after spending a long day with him, excited to spend the next day with him as well.

and during the day i wouldn’t be wondering why he wasn’t texting me. if anything, i’d be wondering why he was texting me considering we were literally hanging out, together, at that very moment!

i would trust him. i’d be walking on cloud nine. i’d be content. i’d be...happy.

now, in no way am i saying that you need to be happy 24/7, or dancing on air, or feeling intense butterflies in your stomach. you’re allowed to have other emotions. you’re allowed to feel anger, you’re allowed to break down and cry! you’re allowed to have bad days. but if you’re feeling these negative emotions about your desire, i want you to try your hardest to release them. i don’t think any of us want to have breakdowns over our manifestations and cry about them, but if it happens, it happens. just pick yourself up afterwards--or stop it before it even really begins, trust me, it gets easier to do this--and maybe do a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, and remind yourself why you’re on this journey in the first place. once again using the sp example, it’s because you love your sp. because they are perfect for you! they make you happy. you love their smile, their laugh, the witty conversations you have with each other. you love being in their arms. you love when they’re in your arms! they did something that made you fall in love with them, or want to be in a relationship with them. what was it? focus on that.

enough with the sammy ingram (i could go on a whole rant about her) style affirmations. with the “he’s going to fucking text me, he has no choice, he’s my fucking boyfriend and he does what i say.” like....ew?? i used to say shit like this, and it was really what started making me resent my sp. i was ordering him around in my head, creating this weird dynamic between us (which, he wasn’t even aware was there), and getting mad when he wasn’t doing what i was ordering him to do. looking back, it was borderline psychotic. it was just turning it into me against him, and that’s not what i wanted at all. i want to be in a relationship with him, with mutual love. i don’t want to be his boss, or his mom, or his fucking military sergeant!! (i don’t even know if that was the proper term bc fuck the military, but u guys know what i mean lmfaooo)

(disclaimer if u use these types of affirmations and they work for you, go for it. but i used them for a while and they just weren’t it for me. carry on)

i guess what i’m trying to say is, those affirmations weren’t making me feel good. they weren’t making me feel like a “boss ass bitch”. they were making me feel...like a bitch. and strangely, powerless. i’d say these affirmations, or just bland ones where i wasn’t necessarily demanding my sp to throw himself at my feet and kiss my shoes and tell me he is nothing without me, and ultimately, if i wasn’t feeling resentment, i was feeling...nothing.

once again, i want to make this so so so clear, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. but my belief? if your affirmations aren’t making you feel joy, or excitement, or contentment, then what’s the fucking point? if you think of your desire, and don’t feel positive feelings about it, then you might have lost your way a little.

don’t worry!! it’s an easy fix. easy, and even...fun? rewarding? comforting? i just want you to take some time--laying in bed at night is the perfect time to do this in my experience--to think about why you want your desire so badly. do you want money? think of how great life is going to be once you have it. of all the stuff you’re going to buy, for yourself, and maybe even for others. don’t focus on the problems you want to fix with it right now. think of that clothing item you’ve had your eye on, or that book you’ve been wanting to read but haven’t felt like “wasting” money on. think of how excited you are to buy those things, because you’re going to! think of the good. not the bad.

remember: you create more of what you focus on. focus on the good, get the good. focus more on the bad...get more of the bad.

your manifestation is done. it is created. it is on it’s way to you. it is here! all there’s left to do is feel excited. it’ll be here any moment now, how fucking exciting is that! it’s safe for you to be happy. it’s safe for you to focus on the feelings you would have if you had it, rather than focus on affirming specifically to bring it to you. it is safe to be happy.

i used to affirm solely for contact, all day every day, and sometimes i’d get it. but it’d be short lived, my sp would be distant, etc. but then once i started focusing on truly living in the end and basking in my love for my sp, thinking about how perfect and amazing he is, i not only got contact (without having to specifically affirm for it), but he was actively engaged in our conversations, making up new topics to keep the conversation going, asking me about and expressing interest in my hobbies and interests, bringing up and reminiscing on old memories of our previous relationship, complimenting me, flirting with me, asking me to hang out, etc. shit i was not getting when i was “he is so fucking in love with me and he’s texting me right fucking now”-ing all day long. i started focusing on how amazing and perfect and good to me he was, and that’s exactly what i got in my reality. who would’ve thunk?

and you know what? yeah, he fucking loves me. he misses me and he wants to be with me. but that’s a given. but that doesn’t fucking matter. i am the only person who matters in my reality!! sure he loves me, but do i love him??? that’s what the universe wants to know. that’s what truly fucking matters. the universe brings me my desires. so i’m gonna fucking desire it!

guys, please trust me on this. just try it out, with whatever you’re manifesting. this could be what you’re missing. this could bring your manifestation to you. i promise, if you’re like i was and feel resententment or anger or hatred towards your desire, this is going to make you feel so fucking good. just stick with this for a week or two. i promise, you’ll see movement.

and remember, there is no one to change but self. don’t change them (or it), change your perception of them (or it).

let’s make manifesting fun again!!! it’s the perfect tool to bring happiness into your life. so fucking let it!!!!

so no, you don’t need to be happy in order to manifest. but....maybe, just maybe, prioritizing your happiness isn’t such a bad thing. i mean, who doesn’t want to be happy?

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting

452 notes · View notes

writer-ish · 3 years

Text

The 3rd Annual Bloom Edenbrook Fundraising Gala

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Dr. Brooke Spiers) Word Count: 2.9k Rating: Mostly T (innuendo, language, smooches)

Premise: Dr. Brooke Spiers and Dr. Ethan Ramsey get coerced into answering anonymous questions submitted by generous donors at this year's hospital fundraising gala. They have about as much fun with it as you'd expect.

This idea is all thanks to THIS ASK from the lovely @lem-20. The concept and all questions are hers! Thank you, darling Leah! ♥️

Author’s Note: My first time with a mixed-media type post(!!!) and the writing part has been done almost script-style, similar to the "Not Yet Wed" questions courtesy of @jamespotterthefirst, which you can find HERE. Hope you all enjoy. 🥰

Tickets

Bonus Raffle

SETTING - Diagnostics Office - 5:15 PM

TWO DOCTORS in formal attire sit across from one another. The male, DR. ETHAN RAMSEY, late-30s, devastatingly handsome, leans against a desk, arms crossed. The female, DR. BROOKE SPIERS, late-20s, charmingly attractive, sits on a larger table further away, legs swinging.

Ethan: I can't believe you talked me into this.

Brooke: [smirking] Why does this feel like deja vu?

Ethan: You know exactly why. You coerced me into the same sort of nonsense in your intern year for that magazine—whatever it was.

Brooke: Yeah, and remember how much publicity the hospital got that year? You're welcome.

Ethan: How can you be sure our "publicity" had to do with that article and not the fact that a first-year intern stole from a large pharamceutical company to administer an unapproved drug to—

Brooke: [hands up] Okay, okay, we get it. Regardless, you have to admit I was responsible for all the publicity. [grins]

Ethan: [can't help but grin back] Touche. [sighs deeply] Let's go home.

Brooke: Can't, babe. We're the main event.

Ethan: How did this even come about? Is there not some code of ethics against this sort of thing?

Brooke: [laughs] It's just staff and donors. All adults. We're showing that we're good sports and it's for a good cause.

Ethan: [grumbles] I don't know why people care so much about us.

Brooke: You don't? I mean, have you seen us?

Ethan: [dryly] And so humble, too.

Brooke: Lord knows you aren't with me for my humility.

Ethan: Indeed. [picks up a glass from the desk at his side, swirling the amber liquid] Well, I hope you're prepared.

Brooke: [amused] Prepared?

Ethan: You're used to me being reticent in situations like this and holding back? [downs the liquid in one shot] Not today.

Brooke: [wary] What does that mean?

DR. RAMSEY stands up, crossing the room towards DR. SPIERS until the latter is forced to open her legs to accommodate his presence. He braces a hand on either side of her, leaning forward until their lips are almost touching. Her face flushes. He notices, and a slow, lazy smile spreads.

Ethan: It means [kisses her slightly open mouth softly] I'm answering all their questions.

Brooke: [giggles nervously] All of them? But what if—

Ethan: [punctuating each word with a kiss] All. Of. Them.

He leans forward and captures her mouth in a deep, searing kiss. Her arms twine around his neck and she lets out a soft moan. Drawing her ankles around his legs she pulls him even closer and he places one hand on the desk as the other glides up her back. They stay like that, interlocked for a moment, before he pulls away.

Brooke: [eyes still closed] Hmph.

Ethan: Let's go get this over with.

Brooke: [slowly opens eyes and peers at him, disgruntled] What kinds of questions do you think people are submitting?

Ethan: Like you said, Dr. Spiers... [a slow smile spreads] Have you seen us?

DR. SPIERS laughs as she follows DR. RAMSEY out.

A.N. PLEASE do not look too closely at this very badly photoshopped pic 😂

SETTING - Bloom Edenbrook Hospital, Main Atrium - 6:25 PM

Our two doctors sit beside each other on a makeshift stage. A semi-recognizable third-year resident is the host for the evening. DR. RAMSEY dusts an imaginary piece of lint off his sleeve. DR. SPIERS has her hands in lap, knee shaking slightly. Noticing, Dr. Ramsey reaches over and rests his hand on her leg. She looks over with a small smile and places her hand over his.

Thank you to our very own Chief of Medicine, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, and his partner, head of the Diagnostics Team, Dr. Brooke Spiers, for being here with us today for a good cause. Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Spiers, are you prepared to answer some questions provided by our generous, anonymous donors?

Brooke: Sure, why not.

Ethan: [through gritted teeth] For a good cause.

Alright, excellent. I will be drawing these questions at random. Thank you to all who donated for the opportunity to submit a question.

Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Spiers, you will both be posed a question. If you choose to answer, you must both answer. If you choose not to, you must match the donation made by the donor, in lieu of a verbal response. Are you ready to begin?

Ethan: Mmm.

Brooke: [nervous laugh] I suppose.

Alright, here we go!

First question: If he/she could take one thing to a desert island what would it be?

Brooke: Me.

[Audience whoops and laughs]

Ethan: [can't hide his smirk, before clearing his throat] Brooke would take her phone. Heaven forbid she can't post about something on Pictagram.

Brooke: It's true. I'm sorry for being such a young millennial needy for external validation.

What are your nicknames for each other?

Brooke and Ethan: [look at each other. Brooke laughs.]

Ethan: Just say it.

Brooke: I mean, it's nothing too embarassing. I call him babe usually, or baby sometimes if I'm feeling extra nice. He calls me—[blushes and looks over at Ethan]

Ethan: [sighs] 'My love'. I call her 'my love'.

[Audience "awwww"s]

Who’s the better cook?

Brooke: Oh, Ethan. A hundred percent.

Ethan: It's true.

Brooke: I'm abysmal.

Ethan: Normally I would demur when it comes to Dr. Spiers' perceived faults, but in this case she's correct.

Brooke: Thanks, babe.

Ethan: You have many wonderful qualities that don't involve ovens, my love.

[A squeal from the audience that sounds suspiciously like Sienna]

Who has the last word in an argument?

[simultaneously] Brooke: Ethan Ethan: Brooke

[They look at each other]

Brooke: [laughs incredulously] Seriously?

Ethan: You think I don't hear you muttering to yourself after you walk away, almost every single time?

Brooke: Oh, so cursing your name and your very existence counts as the last word and not you shouting [affects deep voice] "And that's final!"? Duly noted.

Ethan: I don't sound like that or say that.

Brooke: Mm, sure.

Who is best at keeping secrets?

Brooke: Uh, neither of us?

Ethan: I had a secret once and it was hell keeping it.

Brooke: You've had a couple.

Ethan: True. I'm done with secrets.

Brooke: In lighter news, we kept [gestures between the two of them] this thing a secret for a bit. No?

Ethan: [opens his mouth to agree, when he's interrupted by a shout from the audience—]

Audience member that sounds suspiciously like Elijah: Nope! We all knew!

[Audience loudly murmurs in agreement]

Brooke: Never mind, then.

Who wears the trousers in the relationship?

Ethan: Neither of us subscribes to antiquated beliefs of superiority in a relationship. We're partners and teammates and work together accordingly. Sometimes she helps and guides me and sometimes I do the same for her. There is no one person who holds higher ground over the other and to imply otherwise would be foolish.

Brooke: [literal heart eyes at Ethan] What he said. [stage whisper] Except it's me.

[Audience laughs as Ethan rolls his eyes]

What is his/her worst habit?

Brooke: Workaholic, poor communication skills, yells first and asks questions later… I could go on.

Ethan: Charming. I have two words for you: messy packrat.

Brooke: Excuse me?

Ethan: If I had a nickel for every useless piece of garbage you kept "just in case" or for each article of clothing on the floor of my bedr—[clears throat] Just trust me.

Brooke: [smirks and whispers against Ethan's ear so only he can hear] Sorry, who is responsible for my clothes on the floor…?

Ethan: [says nothing but smirks as well]

[Audience murmurs in scandal]

What three words would you use to describe them?

Brooke: Hmm. Let me think.

Ethan: Passionate, caring, intelligent.

Brooke: [looks at him fondly] You came up with those fast.

Ethan: [matter-of-factly] I could give them ten more easily.

[Audience "awww"s]

Brooke: [to the audience] No, no, no don't be fooled, he doesn't mean only the flattering words, trust me.

Ethan: I believe it's your turn.

Brooke: Dedicated, compassionate, brilliant.

Ethan: [smiles softly at Brooke, who avoids his gaze. He reaches over and squeezes her hand.]

Brooke: [mutters] Yeah, yeah.

What celebrity do you/they think they most look like?

[Both Ethan and Brooke look at the announcer quizzically.]

Brooke: Celebrity? Uhh…

Ethan: I don't even know how I would begin to answer this question.

Brooke: Ryan Reynolds?

[Audience laughs and loudly disagrees]

Ethan: Who?

Brooke: [laughs and shakes her head] I don't know! I just named a random hot guy. You name a redhead actress. Jessica Chastain?

Ethan: [confused] Do you mean Jessica Rabbit?

Brooke: No I don't mean— [looks at him incredulously] Are you saying you think I look like Jessica Rabbit?

Ethan: No, I thought that's what you were saying and I was about to tell you how incorrect you were. Er, that is to say—

Brooke: I feel like you're digging yourself into a hole here.

Ethan: Agreed.

Who is the most vain?

Ethan: Both of us have more pressing concerns than our physical appearance.

Brooke: Ethan.

Ethan: [splutters]

Brooke: If you're going based off who spends more time on their hair in the bathroom? Ethan.

Ethan: [crosses his arms and glowers, but doesn't disagree]

What is his/her guilty pleasure?

Brooke: Ethan's is cooking shows, particularly Nigella.

Ethan: It's true. Brooke's is high calorie indulgences like—what's the freezer cake you made me buy the other day? With no identifiable or even passably edible ingredients?

Brooke: Ooh, Deep 'n Delicious. So good.

Ethan: [rolls eyes] Yes, because we all need our daily dose of hydrogenated oils and preservatives.

If they had a free pass, which celebrity would they choose to sleep with?

[Look at each other blankly]

Brooke: Uhh… Nigella?

Ethan: This Ryan Reynolds fellow?

Brooke: [laughs] I don't even like him!

Ethan: So who, then?

Brooke: [crosses her arms] I notice you didn't deny Nigella.

Ethan: This question is stupid. Next question.

Where and when did you go on your first date?

Brooke: Derry Roasters

Ethan: What? No. I took you to Sorellina—

Brooke: What, three years after we first met? No. Our first date was Derry Roasters when you caught me following you that time.

Ethan: Ah, so she finally admits it. I thought at the time I was… what was it, "paranoid"?

Brooke: [laughs only a touch guiltily] Did I say that?

Ethan: So you're treating the first time you trailed after me to the local coffee shop as our first date?

Brooke: Well, you paid.

Ethan: Yeah, after you "forgot" your wallet.

Brooke: What, you thought I pursued you for your good looks? No, sir. I like a man with deep pockets. Plus, you know how I know it was a first date?

Ethan: Please, enlighten me.

Brooke: You ordered for me and I didn't get annoyed and it was horrible, but I still drank the whole thing.

Ethan: The espresso Romano is not horr—

Brooke: Horrible. Coffee and lemon? [shudders] That's how I knew I was into you.

Ethan: [intrigued] Really? Way back then?

Brooke: [nods, blushing slightly, and rolls her eyes] Oh brother, don't act so shocked. You knew.

[Audience laughs and whoops]

Ethan: [shell-shocked face showing he absolutely did not know]

Where was your first kiss?

Brooke: [sheepishly] Miami.

[Audience murmurs in surprise]

Ethan: [sighs] Yes.

Brooke: Is that—are Harper and Naveen exchanging money?

Naveen: [from the audience] Dr. Emery should know better than to question my instincts!

Ethan: [loudly groans] Next question.

Who is the loudest in bed?

Brooke: [yelps and, remembering Ethan's earlier warning, throws her hand over his mouth]

Ethan: [from behind her hand] You probably could have made the answer less obvious.

Brooke: [blushes and groans]

[Audience roars its approval]

Which of your friends do you think he/she is most likely to have a crush on?

Brooke: Ohhh, this is awkward.

Ethan: My friends?

Brooke: Considering we can list your friends on one hand…and some of them intersect with mine. [bites lip] What do we do with this one?

Ethan: [to the host] What did the donor pay?

Sorry?

Ethan: To submit this question. How much?

Oh, uhh—[checks] $200.

Ethan: I'll write you a cheque for $200. Next question.

Brooke: [shakes her head laughing] All the questions, huh?

Ethan: At my discretion, yes.

Bryce: [from the audience] You know the answer was me for both of you, anyway!

Ethan: [scoffs] Fat chance, Lahela.

Brooke: [pointedly silent, staring straight ahead]

Ohh-kay. Next question. Who had feelings first?

Brooke: Ha, me. For sure.

Ethan: Are you sure?

Brooke: [looks at him incredulously] I just told you I liked you even after you bought me lemon coffee at Derry Roasters three years ago. [sits up to look at him more fully] No chance you liked me earlier than that. I mean, like-liked me.

Ethan: "Like-liked you"? Are we twelve?

Brooke: You know what I mean. You were such a grouch and I was just your annoying intern.

Ethan: [irritatedly] The annoying intern I kissed in Miami, what, a week later? Is that how obvious my lack of feelings for you were?

Brooke: [opens her mouth to respond and then closes it again]

Ethan: That's what I thought.

Who’s more dramatic?

Brooke: Ethan.

Ethan: I am absolutely not—

Brooke: See? Honestly, he's exhausting.

Ethan: [glowers]

Who has the weirdest orgasm face?

Brooke: Weirdest?

Ethan: Oh for the love of—

$5000 to not answer this one, doctors.

Brooke and Ethan: [jaws drop simultaneously]

Brooke: Someone paid five-thousand dollars—

Ethan: What kind of a pervert—? Fine, say it's me.

Brooke: It's really not.

Ethan: [quietly] Well, it's certainly not you.

Brooke: Yeah, but—

I believe we have our answer!

Ethan: We'll take it. Next!

What are you most likely to argue about?

Ethan: Brooke believes I could be more communicative about my feelings, especially when I have a problem.

Brooke: You do listen!

Ethan: Of course. We also argue about when she's going to move in with me.

[Audience gasps and murmurs in gleeful scandal]

Brooke: [jaw drops] Ethan!

Ethan: It's true. [turns to host] I believe it should have already happened. She believes she needs to maintain a tenuous hold on a bedroom she rarely occupies for a group of roommates who would be happy for her to move on.

Brooke: [fuming] Of all the high-handed—

Jackie, from the audience: He's right, girl, bigger and better awaits.

Brooke: [through gritted teeth, as Sienna, Ethan, and Aurora all nod and give her thumbs up] Maybe this is something we can talk about later—

Ethan: Whatever you say, my love.

Brooke: Oh, yeah, now with the "my love"s—

On that note! Here is our final question.

What’s the most romantic thing they’ve done for you?

Ethan: [looks at Brooke, who is still glowering] Most romantic?

Brooke: [glares]

Ethan: With Brooke, it's the little things. She'll notice when I'm having a bad day and bring me my favourite donut. Or a well-timed hand on my shoulder or knee when she can see I'm getting riled up.

Brooke: [glare softens a bit]

Ethan: She's thoughtful and kind and extremely empathetic. She knows what I need even before I know that I need it. It's not—candlelit dinners or what have you, but I've already prided myself on being a practical person and this intersection of—of practicality and care? That's what I find… [struggles to get the word out] romantic.

[Audience "awww"s]

Brooke: [screws up her mouth before leaning over to kiss Ethan on the cheek] Okay, that was sweet. [Thoughtfully] Most romantic thing Ethan has done for me? Well… [side-eyes him, before continuing] The HAZMAT suit sleepover last year was probably up there.

Ethan: [uncomfortable] I don't want that to be classified as—

Brooke: You were there for me at a time when I needed you most. If that's not romance, I don't know what is.

Ethan: [increasingly agitated] That's not romance, dammit, that's—that was a necessity. That was vital. I needed to be there. I needed to make sure you—that you—[cuts himself off, clenching his jaw]

Brooke: [eyes soft as she looks at him. Reaching out she rests her hand on top of his clenched fist until it unfurls slowly underneath hers and he releases his breath slowly] See? [softly] Romance.

Ethan: [sighs deeply, then links his fingers with hers and gruffly kisses the top of her hand] All this tells me is that I've neglected you on the "romance" side of things.

Brooke: [still smiling softly] No complaints. [looks out at the audience] Are we done here? [affects a deep voice] Are you not entertained?

Ethan: [fondly] And she says I'm the dramatic one.

I think we got what we needed, doctors. Thank you for helping out for a good cause. This raffle ticket session alone raised a total of $23,000 for Bloom Edenbook Hospital!

Ethan: [dumbfounded] That is insane.

Brooke: I promise we aren't that interesting.

The people beg to differ. Round of applause for Dr. Brooke Spiers and Dr. Ethan Ramsey for being such good sports. Until next time, doctors!

Ethan: [over thunderous applause] There absolutely won't be a next time.

Brooke: [laughs and stands up, smoothing out her dress]

Audience member that sounds suspiciously like Jackie: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Rest of the audience chimes in: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Brooke: [crosses her arms, smirking at Ethan]

Ethan: Oh for the love of— [acts like he's walking away, then loops an arm around her waist and pulls her close, tilting her back and kissing her thoroughly]

[Audience roars its approval]

Ethan: [pulls away slowly and sets her upright, chucking her chin with an affectionate and slightly devilish smirk. He starts to guide her away from the host and off the makeshift stage]

Brooke: [mutters, still a bit dazedly] Told you. Drama.

[Laughing, they walk off stage together.]

#open heart #ethan ramsey × mc #ethan ramsey #ethanbrooke facts #questions and answers #open heart fanfic

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