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scorpiosanssexy · 3 years

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Pick a Card Reading: Who is your Soulmate

If you are a hopeless romantic like myself and you wanna know some traits, what your relationship will be like and even a possible meeting place you are in like with this pick a card reading.

Below are pictures of some Haikyuu Team banners, look at each one and decide which one you feel most drawn too (it could be the messages or just the colours) once you have decided scroll down and read your reading.

The banners are in order from 1 to 5 (left to right). I would suggest only picking 1 or 2 banners in order to get an accurate reading . The waltzes are taken from waltzing in a ballroom by Lia Wang on Spotify.

I hope this resonates and have a wonderful day

Carla

Itachiyama (Pile 1)

Personality- what type of person is your soulmate

8 of Cups- your soulmate is always on the go, their life is anything but stagnate and they constantly always on the lookout for a new adventure (which they will happily let you join them). BIG TRAVELLERS, they wanna see the world with you, take some cute couple selfies all that jazz. Cups represent the element of water so I think this person can be quite deep and introspective and is constantly trying to become the best versions of themselves. Will 100% go backpacking with you

The Lovers- this person definitely has an equal split between divine masculine energy and divine feminine energy, being good at logic and emotions. I also got the impression that this person is extremely romantic, like a scene that popped into my head is in the Addams Family where Gomez and Morticia declare their love for another and he (Gomez) kisses her arm, that’s the kind of person they are. The lover’s card shows up in readings when you are asked to be your authentic true self so I feel they are naturally themselves, no persona. Also, they have 100% cried whilst watching the notebook and if they haven’t seen it they will in the future.

Ace of Pentacles- very opportunistic, if they see something they just go for it (including you wink). I feel like they have been very lucky in regards to wealth in their life, either they were born into a rich family or are just very strategic with their money. They may swap careers often in their life or just love the idea of a challenge however what I can confidently say is they are pretty damm cunning and resourceful, leave the money-making to them because they have a natural knack for manifesting wealth and abundance into the physical world. Some people may describe this person as lucky however that is not the case they just know which opportunities to capitalise on. Work smarter not harder energy, just very savvy

Astrology Notes - Gemini in their big 3 (Sun, moon or rising) with some water and earth influences

Relationship- what is your relationship like with them?

The Devil- I promise you they are not the devil however they might as well be because of how much they will spoil you. In tarot, the devil is represented by Capricorn (aka the sugar daddy of the zodiac) so of course they have to indulge in their baby girl/boy. I feel like they low key become obsessed with you not in a creepy way but whenever you are not with them they always find themselves thinking of you or dropping your name subtly into conversations. They want to provide for you, make you comfortable, in their ideal world they do not want to make you lift a finger. Also think you are the most attractive thing to walk on this planet like they get flustered at the thought of you, low key a very big simp. Incredibly passionate in and out the bedroom, I feel like in the beginning stages of your relationship they will try and suppress their desire because they are worried they will scare you off.

If you wanna find out more I suggest reading up on Capricorn Venus because I highly suspect that they might have it in their chart.

How you meet- pretty self-explanatory

Page of Swords- out of all the piles I found this pile to be the vaguest in regards to this question. The energy from this card is new ideas, collaborative work and just general communication. You may meet one another simply through a friend of a friend or maybe you are working on some sort of project together. I decided to have a look at the bottom deck to see if I could find any clarifies and drew the Hanged Man, this could maybe be a passion project (not one for work) in which you meet one another whilst embarking on it. The Hanged Man indicates rest so a time in your life where you are taking a break from the world around you, just having fun and socialising with friends. You will meet when you are feeling care free and feel like you no obligations- a spontaneous outing.

Advice

: Blue Moon - “Believe in the Impossible”

You never know what can happen, the universe may be giving you a rare opportunity in regards to your soulmate

Make sure you believe in it, believe that you are deserving of love

Miss the chance and it might not come back soon

What happens may happen once

Believe in your dreams

The person you are inquiring about is a rare find

Affirmation: I am lucky

Your Waltz: Mystery of Love by Hanah Stater

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Aoba Josei (Pile 2)

Personality- what kind of person is your soulmate

The Lovers- this card has come up in ⅗ piles which suggest that many people seeing this reading are destined to have very passionate soulmates. I have always the lovers card to be grandiose and romantic so I feel like this is a primary characteristic to sweep you off your feet. This card is ruled by Gemini so your soulmate is gonna be one smooth mother fucker, mr steal yo girl energy. The lovers is a combination of both divine masculine and divine feminine energy so your soulmate is both very good at being logical whilst tapping into their emotional intelligence. They are naturally themselves and are proud of who they are

10 of Cups- this card aka the happy ending card, I think your soulmate has an idealistic stand point on the world , the image that came to mind was Sugawara from Haikyuu shouting Negativity begone. I think this person radiates calm energy, I just imagine them to have a very soothing voice. This is the kind of person you could confidently bring home to meet your parents (in which they would automatically love them). Also I feel like family is very important to them, mummy’s boy or daddy’s girl vibe, I can imagine they are also extremely good with kids too and maybe have some career which involves this. Very protective of their loved ones honestly as I am writing this i am literally gushing, this person is the sweetest bean alive.

3 of Pentacles - all I could think about when I drew this card was how incredibly hard-working your soulmate is. Pentacles is all about the physical world so your soulmate definitely has one hobby they are super passionate about (sports or something creative) which they love to spend time on. This card is an indication of teamwork so your soulmate is a huge team player, making sure that everyone is alright before checking themselves, they naturally bring people together and perhaps others view them as a leader. Also not a procrastinator by any means, they love the feeling of completely goals and ticking off their to-do lists in which they encourage friends and lovers to do the same.

Astrology bits: Gemini in their big 3 (Sun, Moon or Rising) with some cancer and earth influences

Relationship- what is your relationship like with them?

Judgement- I promise you that it does not mean they are going to judge you actually I do believe this is the exact opposite. The judgement is a very heavy card in the sense that it represents spiritual awakening and revolution, your soulmate 100% believes you were the missing piece in their life. You have changed their life for the better. I feel that this soul connection is based more on deep emotional understanding rather than physical attraction. Your romance is that 50k word slow burn fic with the friends to lovers, mutual pining and comfort tags. I know that you cannot see it but on this card you see two people looking up towards this beautiful angel and I am can confirm that this angel is you. Your soulmate views as the person that set them free as you offered them new life perspectives. Perhaps your soulmate uses the pet name “angel”. If I could describe this relationship in one word it would be Ethereal.

This person may have a Scorpio venus or venus-pluto aspects in their chart.

How do you meet?

10 of Wands- The image that I first thought of when drawing this card was like cramming for a final week or something and you both meet one another at a library or something however this might not be for all of you. I can tell you however you will be meeting them under a time of great stress, perhaps you accidentally volunteered to do more overtime or you have a presentation due very soon, you are most likely going to be in a state of fatigue (and be very flustered) when you first meet. Just from their nature, I imagine they will help you carry the wands or in this case the ever drowning work. 10 is the number of completion so you may meet them in a point in your life where you have nearly completed a goal (them being that final push to do it) or it could represent month number 10 like October.

Advice

Waxing Moon - “the energy is gaining momentum”

The Situation is full of potential- your soulmate may be near

You may need to take more action on your part

Keep moving forwards

Universe has given the green light so just go for it

Your dreams can come true

Affirmation: I know I’ve headed in the right direction

Your Waltz: Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy

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Inarizaki (Pile 3)

Personality- what kind of person is your soulmate

6 of Cups- this card in tarot represents nostalgia and familiarity, I feel your soulmate definitely likes their home comforts, perhaps preferring to have quieter dates rather than over the top ones. For some reason I just imagine them being a hoarder of some kind, like any little trinket you get them they will keep it or they might be into scrapbooking. They love to keep their memories close. Again I feel like they are really into history and would love to take you to a museum or perhaps a historical castle, they give me dark academia vibes. I feel like your soulmate had to perhaps grow up too quickly and perhaps through this connection they hope to find their inner child again (which I believe you will definitely bring out in them)

Queen of Pentacles- not be a simp or anything but your soulmate is one of the most caring and nurturing people ever. A scene that plays in my head is that after a really long day you come home from work or whatever and they are just there cooking you your favourite meals and being like “welcome home sweetheart”. Whilst the Queen is a caring figure we do have to remind ourselves of the Pentacle energy. Your soulmate does prefer the finer things in life, taking you to bougie restaurants or having a mini spa day together. They do like to live a luxurious life and believe you should too, never settle for anything less. Your soulmate is definitely a tidy person and knows how to keep their life nice and orderly and finds joy in organisation, also probably quite a private person. Even though the Queen court card represents feminie divine energy I feel like your soulmate has an even split of both masculine or feminine energy they are good at both logic and emotion.

Page of Cups- this is one of my favourite cards in the deck, the page of cups represents someone who perhaps sometimes has their head in the clouds and can be a little bit innocent. Your soulmate is naturally very creative and takes inspiration wherever they go, for some reason I pictured them being into to photography but that might not be the case for all of you. Also I believe they may refer to you as their muse, you know the anime duos where there is the light and the shadow, the shadow helping the light shine and getting inspiration for them to keep going (think Akaashi from Haikyuu or Kuroko from Kuroko no Basket), I feel like your soulmate is your shadow helping you cast you light into the world. I feel your soulmate does have a hard time to express their emotions so doing so using a creative medium really helps them. The type to make handmaid gifts for their friends on their birthday.

Astrology Notes: Taurus in their big 3 (Sun, moon or rising) with some water influence

Relationship- what is your relationship like with them?

The Chariot- this is not the most romantic card in the pack however there is one thing I can tell you about your connection your soulmate is devoted, they are the CEO of long term commitment like your relationship gives me the same energy as Carl and Elle from Up, just very pure and filled with love and support. The Chariot represents self-control and focus and a funny scene that popped into my head was your soulmate being kind of prudish at first when it comes to the more physical aspects of your relationship, they get easily embarrassed however I feel like their love language is acts of service. You will 100% be their focus in their life, they do love to spoil you rotten with attention and want to be your protector. They may be a little bossy but they just want to see you thrive, like they may leave little notes to remind you how much you love them. The kind of people to make an itinerary for a date because organising things for you is their love language. Overall, a very sweet relationship based on kinds acts of service, the married couple before being married.

Your soulmate might have a Cancer Venus or Venus-moon aspects so if you want some further detail you can read up on those

Where you will meet- pretty self explanatory

The Hanged Man- Because this is a major arcana card I feel you meeting your soulmate will be quite a significant event in your life. The Hanged Man represents a time for letting go and a time of delay, perhaps you will be meeting your soulmate during a time where you are letting go of the past, this could be getting over an Ex, letting go of negative thoughts or even changing careers. I also got the image of you both meeting when you are volunteering, doing something for the community as this card is ruled by the planet of Neptune. Maybe be relaxing and doing something creative could be potentially when you meet them, ie: dancing, singing. I do know that it is during a time when you are moving on from something or your life has entered a limbo stage, nothing exciting happening. I wanted to see if I could find any clarifiers to this because I thought it was too vague and the bottom deck was the Devil Card, perhaps when you start to let go of limiting beliefs about yourself your soulmate may finally appear or perhaps getting over an addiction of some kind. The devil is ruled by capricorn so perhaps a creative project more for work may be potentially another place.

Advice

: New Moon in Leo - “Confidence is the Key to Success”

This is your time to shine so show off your talents

Be proud of yourself, you have come so far

Spoil and pamper yourself because you have earnt it (just like how your soulmate does)

It’s your turn in the spotlight do not shy away from it because you deserve the success and recognition

Make sure you work on your self esteem first before seeking romance

Make time for fun

Affirmation- “ I am compassionate towards myself as well as others

Your Waltz: Once upon a December by Emilie Pandolfi

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Dateko (Pile 4)

Personality- what is kind of person is your soulmate

The Lovers: this card has come out in ⅗ piles today so you may have been drawn to more than one school banner. With the lovers card I can definitely imagine your soulmate to be passionate and romantic and wants to recreate all those cute couple things you see in the movies. They have a flair for the dramatics and can be naturally creative people. They are smooth operators when it comes to flirting so you might have a couple of pickup lines thrown your way (which by the way are actually good) this is because the lovers card is ruled by the zodiac sign of gemini in which are renowned to have silver tongues, teasing might be there love language. For some reason whilst writing this interpretation all I could think about was the character Tamaki Suoh from Ouran High School Host Club so perhaps your soulmate kins him.

4 of Pentacles: whilst the other 2 piles containing the lovers card are very authentic I feel like this person sometimes uses their flirty persona as a mask, to protect themselves. Your soulmates are very possessive. I can imagine they have only a select few people who they are really close with and hold them near and dear to their heart. However a good thing about the 4 of pentacles is that this is the card that indicates it’s time to save money so as you can probably guess your soulmate is very good at saving money they may even be a money saving expert (martin lewis is that you). You can bet they know where to get the cheapest things from so if you ever need to go bargain hunting they are your person. I can imagine them being really good at DIY as it is a way to save money. I feel like in the past they may have had low self esteem, you may have also been drawn to Shiratorizawa pile because 4 of pentacles feature in this one too. Probably a tsundere

9 of Pentacles: Your soulmates tagline is confident, independent and self-sufficient. I believe they were 100% the gifted child at school and are naturally very intelligent, and may have a tendency to brag about this too. I feel like this person can maybe be a little high maintenance and perhaps they are perfectionists also. With the number 9 it means not quite completion (seeing as number 10 represents completion), this means your soulmate is always striving to achieve more. Looking at the three personality cards as a whole I think that missing thing in their life is an emotional connection, they are extremely talented in whatever field they work in however they do find it difficult to make friends because they may be slightly above average in lots of areas of life (High IQ or plays a high level of sports). Whilst they may be show offs when in a relationship with you my goodness do they love to brag about all your amazing qualities. Words of affirmation may be their love language

Astrology Notes: Gemini in their big 3 (sun, moon or rising) with some earth influence

Relationship- what is your relationship like with them

The Hierophant- this card may represent the strict teacher figure however for you, you will get to see their much soft side. They honestly want you to have all the success in the world and will be your number one cheerleader. With none of the other piles I never really specified ages and such but for this one I get a clear picture that this person may be a bit older than you, they have more life experiences than yourself. The Hierophant represents tradition so of course your soulmate will court you in the proper manner making sure to always respect your boundaries, a true lady/gentlemen. At the beginning stages of your relationship I feel like your soulmate used to excuse of “study dates” to be able to have a proper chance of getting to know you (as we already have established they can be a bit of tsundere). Your relationship is incredible strong and steady, others may describe it slightly mundane however it is the simple things which make this connection really work (every saturday day nights, cuddling whilst watching netflix and honestly the amount of flowers they buy makes your home look like a garden centre). They want to show you the world and want to be relied upon as it boasts their confidence when they can help you with a task.

I suspect that they might have a Taurus Venus

How you meet

The Emperor- This card being here for me makes a lot of sense just by looking at your soulmates personality (over achiever and incredibly witty). It is also a major arcana card so this meeting will have a great impact on your life or it will be a vivid memory. The emperor represents organisation, structure and achieving your goals. I can definitely see the pair of you meeting in a work setting in which you may both have to do collaborative work. You may meet your soulmate in a time in your life where you are trying to organise it and come up with a long term plan, maybe at a point where you have to pick your college major or perhaps a lots of job offers have just come in. They may even give you advice. If you are planning on going to grad school then maybe you may meet them there. What I can tell you is that your meeting will not be a relaxing one as the Emperor is a bit of a workaholic so after your first meeting it may be weeks before you both have a proper time to wind down and relax. I also got the image that perhaps you see them as the emperor figure when you first meet them, like they could be your boss or a co worker who is top of the class sort of thing.

Advice

: New Moon in Virgo- “A time to give rather than take”

Gradual Improvements are coming in regards to your soulmate

Be of service to others and abundance will follow

Your soulmate is very reliable so try not stress too much

Make sure to stay organised, eat and drink plenty and have a proper sleep schedule

Pay attention to detail

Affirmation: “I am capable, hard-working and ready to complete my goals”

Your Waltz: The Great Fairy Fountain by the Video Game Music Box

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Shiratorizawa (Pile 5)

Personality- what kind of person is your soulmate

King of Pentacles- Ambitious, protective and calculated, these are all words to describe the King of Pentacles and in turn your soulmate. Your soulmate is somebody who is extremely driven and has lots of success in their life however this didn’t come from blind luck. They are a very responsible figure and are definitely involved in some leadership role most likely to do with their career. The king is a generous provider so I’d imagine your soulmate has an abundance in wealth, sugar daddy/mummy vibes, gift giving may be their love language because I do feel like they have a serious and aloof disposition. Do not be alarmed by this, they are very caring people however they do an “image” to maintain but if you are close with them you may see them in a more real light. Whilst I was typing this description all I could think about was Kyoya Ootori from Ouran High School Host club so perhaps your soulmate kins him in some shape of form.

5 of Cups- This isn’t exactly the happiest card in the deck but one that means disappointment and having trouble letting go. I feel like your soulmate in the past has been disappointed by people, perhaps they have left them or betrayed their trust, looking at both of these cards I feel like it might have been because they found it hard in their childhood to form emotional connections. This is not to say they cannot do this I believe it just takes time with this person, however you know what they say- slow burns are the best. A message popped into my head when thinking about this aspect of them, I believe they have a hidden creative talent in which they learn to express their emotions through that, the piano was a striking image but it could be art or any other form too. I feel likethey are perfectionists but only because they believe you only deserve the best from them, very touch starved like please give them a cuddle it will make them melt. I feel like over time and as they have grown up they have a realistic kind of approach to the world. Whilst writing this I felt incredible sad for this person, my heart goes out to them

4 of Pentacles- aka the tsundere card, this card makes sense in this in the personality part. This person is incredible protective and loyal to their loved ones as I believe it is hard to get to know them at first but once you do you have one very loyal “bodyguard”. These people are very money savvy and for some reason I can picture them having a career in finance or economics. Can perhaps be a bit frugal with themselves and don’t like to treat themselves often but love to pamper others. This person likes to be in control in all aspects of life and has a very commanding aura about them (which I think is incredibly hot), I believe it brings them a sense of comfort. Lastly whilst they may find it hard at first to be more open more emotionally they are the most helpful souls on the planet when it comes to career, education or even just general organisation, I believe it gives them great joy to help others out in this area as not only does it boast their self-esteem but they love seeing the smiles on other peoples faces.

Astrology Notes: Capricorn in their big 3 (Sun, moon or rising) and may lack water placements in their chart

Relationship- what is your relationship like?

They may have Aquarius Venus or Venus-uranus aspects so check those out for more info

The Fool- the minute I drew this card I literally squealed and had to take laps because this card compared to the personality spread were just so opposite. To but it briefly you make them act like a bit of a fool (not in a bad way), like they are very blushy towards you and at the beginning stages they would get so flustered if you held their hand it is simply adorable. Looking into this card, the fool represents new beginnings, adventure and idealism. You bring new hope into their life, you know those soulmate AUs where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate and the world turns to colour. I feel like emotionally that is what happened to them forming a union with you. You bring the fun and zest into their life, offering them a chance to relax instead of doing work all the time which they are forever grateful for, you definitely make them feel young again. Not to be sappy but I do believe you have turned their life around, the fool represents new beginnings so your connection will be a massive turning point in this person’s life. Of course, the fool represents fun too so this relationship will be filled with adventures and lots of funny memories, I feel like the pair of your friendship groups will get on really well and that you too will love to tease one another or even give the other a playful kiss. I just sense an incredibly low maintenance light hearted energy and I believe that is a great way to sum up this connection. You free them.

How will you meet

The Tower- looking at this card with the fool card they both make a lot of sense seeing as once rules Aquarius and the other rules Uranus. Whilst the Tower does represent chaos I believe it doesn’t mean bad chaos in regards to your meeting. The tower is very random bringing in live events which change your life, I believe you will meet your soulmate in the place you least expect it the most, like the most random location you could possible think of, a couple that came to my head was the Supermarket, in a Bank or at bagage reclaims (these were just some random locations that pooped into my head when writing this). However this card can also be an indicator of you meeting this soulmate at a time in your life where you are having a massive change, like you could move abroad to a random country, start a completely new career or just when you do something that is a little crazy. Perhaps you are going through something that is chaotic and your soulmate helps you sort it out. With the tower card the possibilities are endless but what I can tell you is that you will very shocked (in a good way) and it will be a meeting you will never forget

Advice

: Mutable Moon - “Nothing is set in stone”

Staying adaptable is the key to success

Make sure you have not become too distracted in your day to day life, stay focused

Stay with it ( don’t lose hope)

Don’t let others lead you estray, your intuition is high listen to that gut feeling

The situation is far from being finalized you have the power

Affirmation: “ I know the best will unfold for me”

Your Waltz: Merry-go-Round of life by Nuvo Orchestra

#tarot #anime x tarot #haikyuu #romance reading #tarot romance #soulmate #soulmate reading #pick-a-card #cupid carla returns #soulmate tarot #tarot reading

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ppangjae · 3 years

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PLANET GIRL | part two

SUMMARY. When Jaehyun turned twenty-one, he started to hear his soulmate’s voice singing an unfamiliar song in his head. He should be happy, right? Wrong. There are two things wrong with this:

He’s taken. He’s off the market. He’s in a 3-year relationship and,

The voice singing in his head is not his girlfriend’s voice.

Now what?

WORD COUNT. 5k+ words

author’s note. finally LOL. it’s been a hot minute. here’s part two! also, i’ve gotten such positive feedback for part one and i wanted to say thank you for reading and enjoying it! i hope you enjoy this update! happy reading!

PART ONE. cupid | PART TWO. jupiter | 2.5 intermission | PART THREE. PLANET GIRL

The humming and singing in his head follows him in his sleep. But don’t get him wrong, the unidentified voice of his soulmate singing in his head doesn’t haunt him to sleep. It actually helps him fall asleep, especially on nights where the future seems so out of reach and unpredictable, where he wonders how he’ll break it to Ara that he’s not the man she’ll be spending the rest of her life with even though they’ve been together for three long years. In fact, the harsh reality of his relationship with Ara is a nightmare caused by the voice that sings in his head, but it so happens to be the same voice that puts him in a deep, peaceful slumber.

How ironic.

One night, the humming hums louder and louder that it prompts him to wake up. His eyes land on his keyboard sitting in the far corner of the room. His feet carelessly drag him towards the keyboard and he plops down onto the seat with a soft ‘oof’. As he gently places his fingers down onto the keys of the keyboard, his eyes flutter shut and he focuses on the melody echoing through his head.

As if his fingers had a mind of its own, they start playing out the melody by ear. The corners of his lips twitch up into a soft smile. It’s almost like a lullaby, but he’s forcing himself to stay awake and take in the sweet melody. Soft humming, inaudible words mumbling in between. He’s sure he’s never heard such a song before.

Suddenly, the humming halts to a stop and his eyes flash open. There’s a sudden feeling of loneliness. He lets out a sigh before an idea pops into his mind. Immediately, he grabs a blank piano sheet, forcing himself to recall the notes he had translated from his soulmate’s humming in his head.

It takes a while. It takes him a while to get it all on one piano sheet. But when he does, there’s a feeling of sweet victory. It’s like he’s accomplished something big. It’s like he’s one step closer to finding his soulmate.

“One day,” he mumbles to himself, staring at the piano sheet with a faint smile spread across his lips. “I’ll finally meet you.”

His thoughts are cut short when his phone vibrates to notify him of a text message from, oh right, his girlfriend, Ara.

It’s a situation that cannot be helped.

It’s May and the cherry blossoms bloomed and the pout on your face almost seems permanent. You’re not sure what to do anymore. Time is surely ticking and yet, you haven’t started fulfilling your duties of bringing Ara and Yuta together. It’s your consciousness that’s keeping you from doing it. It’s Jaehyun’s innocence that’s keeping you from doing it. It’s Ara’s friendliness that’s keeping you from doing it. Yuta, however, you’re not quite sure—

“I had a feeling it was you, but I wasn’t fully sure.”

You snap out of your trance, following the source of the unidentified voice. Yuta’s looking down at you with a soft gaze. He shifts his gaze towards the cherry blossom petals that have landed on the top of your head. He gently removes them from the strands of your hair.

“Thanks,” you mumble, suddenly feeling shy by the nice gesture.

“Do you mind if I join you?” He asks, pointing towards the empty seat next to you on the bench.

You shift down the bench, making more room for him. He takes it as a ‘yes’ and sits next to you, looking up at the cherry blossoms. You awkwardly fiddle with your fingers. “So—”

“Homecoming.” He interrupts you. “Be my date?”

“What?” You blurt out. You look at him as if he has three heads sitting on his neck. He tilts his head, analyzing you carefully. He points at the event flyer you have in your hand. You almost forgot it was in your hands. You’re caught off guard and you cover it up with a fake cough. “I mean—why would you ask me—or—we’re not even close—”

“Because the one I want to go with is going with someone else.” He shrugs his shoulders. He lets his head hang low and you feel bad for him. That is, until he looks back up with a mischievous grin spread across his lips. “And I’m sure the one you want to go with is going with someone else too.”

“I don’t,” you mumble, shaking your head. “I don’t have someone in mind that I want to go to homecoming with. Besides, I always pass up on homecoming.”

“You do have someone in mind.”

You squint your eyes with suspicion. “And how would you know what?”

He smirks. “Because I’m a mind-reader.”

“A mind reader—”

“And a Cupid.” He cuts you off.

It takes you a couple of seconds for you to process his words into your mind. But when they finally make sense to you, all you could do is burst out into laughter. Yuta’s eyebrows furrow in confusion when you bend over to continue your laughing fit.

“You—You’re a—You’re a Cupid?” You laugh. “You’re a funny guy, Yuta. I never thought you’d be the funny type.”

He looks at you innocently. “But… I am a Cupid.”

“And a mind reader?” You question, stifling another laugh.

He scratches the back of his neck. “Well, now that was a joke. I’m not a mind reader but I am a Cupid—”

“Then that means you could read my mind, right?” You ask.

“Well—”

“Two words. I have two words on my mind right now.” You begin. “Can you read my mind? Do you know what they are?”

“I—”

Your laughing fit dies down and you look at him dead straight in the eye. Yuta feels his blood run cold. Were you ever this cold-hearted and intimidating? What seemed like a light-hearted conversation turned into a conversation he wishes would just end already.

You purse your lips into a tight line. “Nice.. try. I’ll see you around?”

Yuta watches you as you begin to walk away from him. When you’re a couple of metres away from him, your pace slows down. Looking down at the flyer for homecoming, you hesitantly look over your shoulder to see Yuta catching cherry blossom petals from the tree. He can’t be, you think to yourself, shrugging off your thoughts. As you continue on your own way, you hear your name being called out.

Turning around, you spot Yuta looking at you with a grin. “Yes, Yuta?”

“The offer still stands if you’re interested!”

“But I’m skipping out on homecoming again this year. Don’t worry about me.”

“Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“Have you seen the homecoming flyers all over campus lately?”

Jaehyun tilts his head in confusion. “Johnny, this wasn’t a part of the script—”

“Have you?” Johnny gives him a warning look.

Jaehyun lets out a scoff. For the nth time this evening, Johnny decided to disregard the script that they planned out for almost a week. He will seriously kill Johnny during commercial time. But Johnny is completely invested in ticking Jaehyun off.

“Yes I have, Johnny.” Jaehyun says through gritted teeth. “And what about it?”

“Well, for those who don’t know, this year, the university’s event committee decided to spice things up with homecoming.” Johnny pulls out another piece of paper that so happens to be a different script. “I’m just relaying this from the event committee. Homecoming will be completely different this year! Prepare your suits and dresses and pair them with masks because this year’s homecoming will be a masquerade ball.”

Jaehyun almost choked on air. “A masquerade ball?”

Johnny nods his head. “Yes, which will make the night a bit more interesting. Imagine falling in love with someone on the night of homecoming but you’re blacked out drunk that you forget to ask for their name or their—”

“What is this, modern-day Cinderella?” Jaehyun jokes.

Johnny snaps his fingers and points at him. “Bingo! Now, if you’re interested in getting tickets for this year’s homecoming, the event committee will be putting up a ticket booth starting next week up until the week before homecoming. Make sure to get your tickets! Will you be getting tickets, Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun is completely baffled. The event committee must’ve commissioned Johnny to have homecoming promoted on the radio show. “Yes. I’ll be getting tickets. Will you?”

“Of course! Now, speaking of Cinderella, there’s someone out there that reminds me of the lovely princess.” Johnny begins to segway into the next song. “We’ve been playing this artist’s songs on the show for quite some time now, but until this day, we don’t know who this artist truly is. Rumour has it that this artist is a student of this university.”

Jaehyun’s ears perk up. Is Johnny talking about someone who he thinks he’s talking about?

“Planet Girl, if you’re listening to the show right now, feel free to hit us up! We’d love to meet you and find out who you are!” Johnny continues. “Here’s Planet Girl’s new single, My Future.”

As Johnny mutes his microphone, he leans back against his chair. He could feel Jaehyun’s burning gaze drilling two holes through the side of his face. Jaehyun frowns. “How much did they pay you to advertise—”

Jaehyun’s mouth clamps shut when the song begins to play through his headphones. It’s familiar. It’s terrifyingly familiar that his blood runs cold and he starts to get goosebumps. He’s heard of this song before. He didn’t hear this song on the radio. He didn’t hear this song in the local cafe he usually gets his morning coffee from. He didn’t hear this song on shuffle on a random evening. In fact, he’s heard this song—

“You were saying, Jaehyun?” Johnny snaps him out of his distant gaze.

“What—What was I saying?” Jaehyun chokes out.

“You were saying something about—you know what? Nevermind, it’s not really important.” Johnny mumbles, waving it off. He stares at his co-host who looks like he’s gotten his soul sucked out of his body. Jaehyun looks quite odd. “It’s not really important… anymore.”

Jaehyun’s heard this song before.

In fact, he’s heard this song, this melody, in his head.

Jaehyun scoffs in disbelief. “She can’t be.”

Johnny raises an eyebrow. “Who can’t be what?”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “N-Nothing.”

Planet Girl’s voice is the voice singing in Jaehyun’s head.

Planet Girl is his soulmate. What is he supposed to do with this information now?

“They played it! They played it!”

Mark barges into your room with his hair disheveled as if he had just woken up from a nap. He has his headphones on and his glasses seem to have been lazily put on, for they’re sitting lopsidedly on his face. You look at him endearingly, shaking your head and letting out a soft chuckle.

“What did they play?” You ask, pushing yourself away from your desk.

Mark takes off his headphones and yanks out the other end of the wire connected to the AUX jack, turning up the volume of his phone. The song being played on his phone is a soft melody, almost similar to lofi. You lean back in your desk chair, spinning around in slow circles as you listen to the song. Mark waits for some sort of live reaction from you.

“I’m guessing this is—”

“Planet Girl.” Mark cuts you off. He tosses his phone onto your bed, followed by the flinging of his own body onto the mattress. He lies down with his back against the sheets, a smile slowly forming across his lips.

You analyze him. “Do you like the song?”

He nods his head. “I love it.”

You purse your lips into a tight line, slowly turning back around to face your desktop screen. You blow a raspberry, hesitant to ask him a question. “Do you ever wonder who she is?”

“Who? Planet Girl?”

You hum in reply. “Yeah. You seem to like her music a lot. Don’t you ever wonder who she is? What she looks like? If she puts cereal before milk—”

“Every now and then, when I listen to her music, I do wonder who she is and what she looks like. But I also think that if she were to reveal herself, the entire campus would go nuts.” Mark explains. “I think that she should lay low for now. She’s extremely popular to be exposing herself. Unless, that’s her plan.”

“What plan?”

“To reveal herself when she becomes popular. It could give her more leverage. But it seems like she just makes music as a hobby and I’m not sure how her personality is, which means that she probably isn’t interested in ever revealing her identity. I guess it just really depends on her.”

You slowly nod your head. “I see… makes sense.”

Suddenly, your desktop computer crashes and shuts down. You find yourself staring at your reflection through the desktop screen that’s turned off. Your mind seems to wander off to your current situation. Ara… Jaehyun… Yuta… All of your past love assignments weren’t as messy as this one. It may be because you have a good heart and you hate ruining people’s lives. But at the same time, there’s a risk you must take in order to save your own life.

You’re not sure what’s better: ruin a relationship to keep your abilities or keep a relationship and lose your abilities. What are you destined to be? Are you destined to be a Cupid for the rest of your life? What’s the point of existing if you’re only placed on Earth to bring two soulmates together? What’s the point of existing if you can’t even find your own soulmate, your own happiness, your own freedom? Will you be locked down with this curse forever? At this point, do you even know yourself?

Mark turns up the volume of his phone to its maximum and as you analyze your reflection, the lyrics to the song begin to echo in your head.

And I, I'm in love But not with anybody else Just wanna get to know myself

You almost let out a laugh.

What a coincidence.

“Did she really know what I meant when I said, ‘you know where to find me’?”

“Yuta?”

He jerks up, his posture straightening at the sound of your voice. He turns around to see you standing right behind him. You tear your gaze away from him as a cherry blossom petal catches your eye. It falls gracefully, landing on top of his head. The situation feels all too familiar, especially when you pick out the cherry blossoms that landed on his head.

You chuckle. “Sorry, did I scare you? Am I that scary to you?”

He shakes his head. “No. I just—I just didn’t expect you to come.”

“Oh, well, I’m here. Let's just get to the point of why I’m here.”

He grins. “Have you made up your mind?”

You hesitatingly nod your head. “Yes, I have.”

“Hm, I wonder, am I going to be dateless this year at homecoming—”

“I’ll be your date.”

His eyes widen like saucers. “What?”

You smirk. “What? Did you expect me to say no or something?”

He scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I mean, yeah, but—”

“But there’s a catch to this.” You fold your arms. “I’ll only be your date to homecoming if you help me with something. This isn’t just a give and take situation.”

“What do you want me to do?”

Yuta feels his blood run cold.

“You want me to do what now?!”

You give Yuta an innocent look. From an outsider’s perspective, it looks like the two of you are in the midst of making a deal. And you both sure are, but what you’re not sure of is whether Yuta will help you out.

You clasp your hands together. “It’s simple. I’m a Cupid and—”

His loud laughter cuts you off. He’s laughing so hard that he bends over and almost hits his head against the table. You’re afraid that he’s going to knock his cup of coffee over too. You look at him with confusion.

“You—You’re a—You’re a Cupid?” He stifles a laugh. “You’re a funny one, Y/N. I never thought you’d be the funny type.”

“But… I am a Cupid.” Oh, how the tables have turned.

His laughing fit dies down. “And how would I know that you’re not joking around?”

“Because I really am… a Cupid.” You deadpan.

He snorts. “Yeah, and I’m Mickey Mouse in the flesh.”

“What do I have to do to make you believe me?” You sigh, leaning back against the cushion of the booth and looking out the window. There’s a couple that stops and stands outside of the cafe, skimming through the pages of the cafe’s menu. Yuta swears he could see a glint light up in your eyes.

“It’ll take a lot for me to believe you—”

“Ara is your soulmate.”

Yuta’s face pales at the words that slip past your lips. You’re too busy staring at the couple outside of the restaurant. You let out a soft sigh, looking away from them to meet Yuta’s gaze. Yuta gulps nervously. “How would you know that?”

You fold your arms. “Because I’m a Cupid.”

“No, how would you—how would you know such a thing?” He says, completely in disbelief. You squint your eyes at him in suspicion. He seems to grow nervous whenever Ara is brought up as the topic of conversation. Huh… it’s cute.

“Valentine’s Day.” You mumble. “On Valentine’s Day, I bumped into Ara. I’ve never met her until that day. Usually, I’ll forget about people I bump into. It’s just a fleeting moment. But Ara… I’ll always remember her. Why? Because when I looked into her eyes… I saw you.”

Yuta’s eyebrows furrow. “You saw me? Through her eyes?”

You nod, a small smile spreading across your lips. “Correct.”

“I don’t believe you.” He shakes his head. “If you saw me through Ara’s eyes, what was I wearing on Valentine’s Day, then?”

“Your soccer jersey. You were attending soccer practice.”

“Holy shit.”

You chuckle. “Believe me now?”

He raises up his hands in defense. “Say less. What else do you want me to do?”

When Yuta asked you what you wanted him to do in return for being his homecoming date, he did not expect this. He did not expect to use all of his willpower to tear Ara and Jaehyun’s relationship apart. He did not expect to find out that you’re a Cupid, just like him.

You’re a much more different Cupid than he is. He has the ability to matchmake, to tear two people apart when they’re not destined to be together. But when it comes to someone like Jaehyun, who so happens to be dating Ara, he suddenly doesn’t know what to do. But you’re different. Here you are, fulfilling your duties no matter what the circumstance, even if it meant that you had to ruin the relationship of two people you know.

Here you are, spying on him as he hesitatingly takes a seat next to Ara on the bleachers.

“Oh, hey, Yuta.” Ara greets him, grabbing a towel for him. “Here, it looks like you need it.”

“Thanks,” Yuta mumbles. “Hey, are you going to homecoming this year?”

Ara takes a quick swig of her bottled water, nodding her head. “I’m going. Are you?”

“I am. I’m guessing you’re going with Jaehyun?” He asks, internally facepalming himself. What kind of stupid question was that? He glances towards you, and you gesture him to continue. “Well, yeah, duh, of course you’re going with Jaehyun. Have you picked out your dress yet?”

Ara slowly nods her head. “I picked it out last week, actually! I’ll be picking it up this weekend.”

Yuta scratches the back of his head. “Well, my date doesn’t know where to get her dress. Do you have any suggestions?”

“She can pick one out at the shop I went to! Here, I’ll send you a picture of my dress along with the shop’s address so that you can show her.” Ara pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through her photo album, sending him a photo of her dress.

He feels his phone buzz in his pocket. “Thank you so much, Ara. I’ve been stressing out for almost a week because of this—”

“No worries!” Ara giggles, placing her hand on his shoulder. “If you need help, just let me know! You have my number, anyways.”

He smiles, almost a bit too wide that he covers it up with a cough, looking away from her. He settles his gaze towards the clouds in the sky, leaning back against the bleachers. Ara joins him, lying right next to him. Meanwhile, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You hide behind the tree, leaning against the trunk. As you read Yuta’s text message, a grin spreads across your lips.

“Bingo.”

“I think I’m going crazy.”

Jaehyun laughs to himself, placing his face in his hands. He lets out a sigh. The same stupid song has been on repeat for hours. It’s odd how the sound of his soulmate’s voice could make him go crazy, how it could make his heart flutter and do cartwheels on end, how it makes him fall into a distant trance. He wishes he knew who it is. He wants to know who it is. But how?

He pulls out his laptop, roaming the internet until he finds himself stumbling upon SoundCloud. A few clicks here and there, and he’s staring at Planet Girl’s profile. Planet Girl is consistent with her privacy. She doesn’t have a profile picture of her face, it’s a picture of a pink jupiter, with its outer rings a glowing gold. Her profile doesn’t even show her real name nor her age.

How is he going to find out his soulmate’s identity if his soulmate is making it ten times more difficult than it should be?

“I’m just… hopeless at this point, I guess.”

His eyebrows raise and he leans closer to the screen when he notices a new track released on her profile. The song was released two days ago. He clicks on play, shoving his earphones into his ears.

Oh, wouldn't it be nice if we could stay friends? But we Shouldn't, you know what I Couldn't, 'nough's enough If I had your heart, it wouldn't be this hard

He sighs. If he had his soulmate’s heart, if only his soulmate even knew that he was searching for her, it wouldn’t be this hard.

What a coincidence.

“I’ll pick you up here, alright?”

Mark looks out through the rolled down windows of his car. He sees you nod your head. “Alright. I won’t be long. I just need to run a few errands, visit my parents just to get some snacks for the apartment.”

“I’ll see you. Call me if you need anything or if you finish early.” Mark insists and you salute to him.

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright, take care.” He rolls up the windows to his car and begins to drive off.

You roll on the balls of your feet, watching his car get smaller and smaller as it travels farther and farther down the road. To make things less suspicious, you begin to walk in the opposite direction of his car, looking over your shoulder every now and then. When you look over your shoulder to see Mark turn a right at an intersection, you stop in your tracks.

You stand there for a couple of more seconds before making a beeline for the apartment building right across the road. You pull out a separate key that’s not grouped with your usual apartment key. Hopping into the elevator, you look into the mirror and comb fingers through your hair. You put on some lip balm before sucking in a deep breath.

As the elevator reaches the seventh floor, the doors open with a soft ‘ding!’. You step out of the elevator, making your way down the hallway. Right when you reach a door and right before you begin to knock, the door opens to reveal—

“Y/N, my favourite person on the planet!”

You chuckle. “In the flesh.”

“Come on in. You know what to do to get comfortable. Grab a cup of water to warm up your vocals. I’ll be by the computer and whenever you’re ready, we can get started.”

You smile. “Thanks, Taeyong.”

He pats your shoulder. “No biggie, Y/N.”

Yuta looks up at a familiar apartment window. The light is turned on. He squints his eyes in suspicion. He sees a shadow hover in front of the curtains of the window and it urges Yuta to hide behind a lamp post. He peeks from behind the lamp post to see Taeyong opening the curtains of his window. Taeyong stretches his arms and lets out a yawn. Yuta’s about to go back to his business when a familiar figure catches his eye. He looks up to see you. You have headphones on and you’re talking to Taeyong. The moment you stand behind the microphone and place music sheets onto a music stand, Yuta feels the gears turn in his head.

“Yuta?”

He tears his gaze away from them to see Ara. “Oh, hey, Ara. We keep bumping into each other, don’t we?”

Ara chuckles. “Yeah, that’s so funny! I just finished up my shift at the cafe and I was just about to go on my way when I thought you looked familiar. Turns out it was you.”

“Ah,” Yuta chuckles sheepishly. “Well, I was just on a convenience store run. I was running out of cup noodles so I decided to stock up on it.”

Her eyebrows raise. “Have you eaten lunch yet?”

Right on cue, Yuta’s stomach grumbles. The two of them share a look before bursting out into laughter.

“Let me treat you out for lunch,” Ara insists.

His eyes slightly widen and he begins to panic. “I—well—I don’t want to be a burden. You might have some plans with Jaehyun and I don’t want to bother—”

“There’s nothing to worry about! Jaehyun’s busy working with Johnny for their show tonight. Let’s have lunch, besides, I haven’t eaten yet and I’m pretty hungry too.”

“S-Sure, I mean, if you’re okay with that.” He feels shy.

She smiles. “Shall we get going?”

Yuta looks into her eyes. Ara blinks a couple of times until Yuta sees someone in her eyes. His breath hitches in his throat. He slowly tears his gaze away from Ara and looks up to see you. You’re singing into the microphone, pressing your headphones against your ears. He looks away from you to look back at Ara. The woman Yuta sees in Ara’s eyes is… you.

“If you walk further down the hallway in the west wing, you’ll see a room on the far end. In that room, you’ll find a grand piano. I suggest checking it out, play something inspired by your emotions. It might help you with your artist’s block.”

You push through the doors, looking left and right as you walk down the empty hallway. After consulting with Taeyong the previous night, you had concluded that you were going through artist’s block. Ever since your last song release, you haven’t been able to write lyrics. Even if you did scribble something down, they would soon be erased or crossed out. It’s quite frustrating not being able to convey your feelings like how you used to. It could be because of your dilemma with Ara and Jaehyun.

You stop in front of a room. The door is closed, but through the small window, you spot the grand piano Taeyong was talking about. As your hand wraps around the doorknob, your movements halt to a stop when your phone buzzes. Pulling out your phone, you see a new text message from Yuta. You let out a tiring sigh, ignoring his text and shoving your phone back into your pocket.

“Will I ever be free?” You ask yourself, opening the door.

You trudge towards the grand piano. You let your fingers trace the keys before taking a seat. To warm up, you start playing some classic pieces, Chopin’s Ballade No. 1, Moonlight Sonata, all the like. Your eyes flutter shut as you let the music take you to different places and imagination. Soon enough, you found yourself playing some of your songs. My Future, Shouldn’t Couldn’t Wouldn’t.

“Yeah, you, you always answer with More questions to questions that scare you We're not always peachy, look, love ain't that easy But one thing I know, I know it for sure, that it—”

“Jaehyun, you’re going in the wrong direction! The prof’s office is this way!”

Your eyes open wide. As you hear Jaehyun’s footsteps get louder and louder, you scramble to find a place to hide. You spot a door on the other side of the room and you’re running towards it. Just in time, you open the door and close it behind you. You let out a soft sigh of relief, slowly sliding down the door. There’s a window on the door, and you take a quick peek. Indeed, Jaehyun runs into the room. He looks breathless. He’s searching through the room. He spots the door that you’re hiding behind. Your eyes begin to widen again when you see him taking steps towards the door. You’re struggling to get up from the floor until—

“Jaehyun, where did you go? Office hours are closing soon. We have to get there or else we’re failing our assignment.”

You let out a yelp. Your eyes clench shut. You feel someone’s hand wrapped around your wrist. You’re breathing quickly out of nervousness. Your heart is racing. Your eyes slowly open and you’re expecting to see Jaehyun, but surprisingly enough, you see—

“When were you planning on telling me that you’re Planet Girl?”

author’s note. thank you so much for reading! sorry for taking so long in posting the second part. but here she is! skjdhfskjhdf

tag list (there are some that don’t work -- if you did not get the notification that you were tagged, it’s most likely because the tags are broken. let me know if that’s the case!): @billiondollarworth @cafemochi @stae-yong @chanyeolscoon @ggaayyyong @soothingjae @taestannie @plump-peach @oshmendes @lanadreamie @justineasian @jjpmoans @beryllium-io @jaeismytamtation @noonapabo127 @hanniesbubble @catthecandy @leesalts @jenojaeminrenjun @haechansthighsuwu @bands-messed-me-up @timelessyoonoh @jaehyunoos @hadesgirl1015 @ncttboo @looverzs @jae-canikeepyou @smileyyuta @waves-and-woods

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taestfully · 4 years

Text

BTS as best friends

Request: BTS as types of best friends pls? 🖤

Seokjin

• the best friend that’s always up for a good time/the hyperactive friend

• you two go on a lot of fun adventures together

• Jin is always up to party

• you could call him up at any time of day to go do something and he’ll always reply with a yes

• he’s so much fun to be around

• he makes you laugh a lot

• if you’re more of a quiet person, he will bring you out of your shell

• you two are so annoying together because you’re always having too much fun

Yoongi

• the chill best friend

• is up for a quiet evening of being couch potatoes and watching movies together

• but will still end up in random situations with you much to his annoyance (but he low key still enjoys it because he’s with you)

• Yoongi is a nice, comforting presence to have around

• will fall asleep on you a lot but will still somehow be able to keep with conversations

• like he’s dead asleep and still talking to you wtf

• he’s the type of friend that’ll lend an earbud to you so you can both listen to music together

• will listen to all your bullshit intently though he doesn’t always add his two cents

Hoseok

• the best friend that always hypes you up/the encouraging friend

• he’s going to be your biggest fan

• Hobi loves to know that you feel good about yourself

• he’ll hype you up whenever you decide to do something new

• but will also hype you up when you make bad decisions like getting too drunk at a party lol

• he’s always up for whatever

• will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on

• will low key high key want to throw hands with anyone that is negative towards you

Namjoon

• the best friend you have a deep connection with

• Namjoon is up for 3am talks about anything and everything

• you two are the type of besties that know each other so well that you can read each other’s minds

• you like to think he is your platonic soulmate (yes those do exist)

• you’re so comfortable around him

• will listen to what you have to say even if it’s the most wack thing he’s ever heard

• he’s your voice of reason when you need advice

• you feel incredibly lucky to have him as your best friend

Jimin

• the best friend you’ve known forever/the childhood friend

• you’re joined at the hip

• where one is there’s the other

• you can’t imagine doing life without Jimin

• he’s a part of your every day life

• he goes with you to the grocery store or literally anywhere

• you two are always laughing

• you’ve got a lot of inside jokes from all the years of friendship and everyone else is so confused

Taehyung

• the low maintenance best friend

• Taehyung is the friend that you consider to be your best friend but you two aren’t always together

• and you don’t always talk all the time

• you two go in waves

• sometimes you’re always together and texting all the time

• and sometimes you’ll go days or even weeks without talking or seeing each other

• but that’s okay because your friendship doesn’t require constant validation

• you two will always be close no matter what

Jungkook

• the best friend that always gets mistaken as your significant other

• people that don’t know you always assume you��re dating

• it used to be so awkward for the two of you but it happens so often you’re used to it now

• but can you really blame people that assume you’re dating when the two of you are always touching??

• skinship is a thing with the two of you

• it’s completely platonic but others don’t know that

• they see you hugging on Jungkook and think oh you’re a couple ahshhsjs

• you two are just friends but are so done with being called a couple that you don’t even try to fight it anymore

#bts #bts headcanons #bts fanfiction #bts imagines #bts reactions #kpopwonderlandtag #btscreatorsnet #bts scenarios #bts army #army #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

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pinencurls · 4 years

Text

Kiss In The Kitchen

hiii okay so I have a couple one shots hidden away in drafts that I’m not 100% in love with but i enjoyed writing at the time so I thought I might as well share them :) Here’s the first...

You couldn’t be prouder of Fine Line and all you want to do is support and congratulate him, even if it means ignoring the insecurities one song strikes in you.

4k Words

At first, you listened to it (almost) alone, Harry's large headphones covering your ears as his new album played for you - you'd heard bits and pieces of it over the last year but never every song in it's finalised form. The second time you listened to the album you quickly adored was at its release party; a contrast setting to the quiet of the Saturday sun sneaking into your bedroom with Harry's earnest gaze set on you as you spoil yourself in his words - you could almost forget the album was written entirely about the woman Harry devoted all his love to before you'd met, it felt so private between the two of you. You'd visited the studio several times, lending your own advice when Harry met droughts of no inspiration and begged for your musical experience; You'd been in several small bands in your formative years, playing bass or drums, but had paused that particular pastime to focus on the reality of your career - writing took time in this industry, supporting yourself whilst avoiding the well of tabloid work was tricky, so far you'd managed to find little nuggets of gold in genuine, thought-provoking magazines and had begun to make a name for yourself, something you'd doubted possible in the harder of times.

You'd chosen to keep your lyrical advice to yourself when Harry called to you for help, however. You knew who this album was about, it was clear it wasn't you and that was fine. You didn't expect Harry to dedicate a whole album about you after 11 months together, all of which dating after he began writing it.

In private, sat on your bed and grinning up at him as his music played to you and you only - you were proud. You'd accepted the difficulties that might come with listening to your partner's rawest emotions for a past lover and had come to the conclusion that you'd appreciate his work simply because of how much he'd put into it and how well it'd all come together.

That was easy in private. It's slightly harder to remind yourself to separate the songs playing loudly all around you in the busy L.A club from all the not so hidden meanings behind them. Everyone Harry had met within the last few years of his solo career and long before that had come to celebrate with him. Busting bodies filled the large room, many already taking advantage of the bar. Almost everyone found themselves, slightly slurring, by Harry's side at one point of the night to tell him how beautiful Fine Line was, and the topics of each song didn't seem to go unnoticed either.

As you made your own rounds, you overheard the loud discussions about the mix of provocative, solemn and affectionate themes. Some of the group were apparently too drunk to see Harry's current girlfriend standing by as they cheered on his yearning and passion for his previous one.

It only got worse with press. You were still unbelievably proud of course, but Harry had to do a lot of press. Each interviewer cut straight to the elephant in the album. Camille was discussed, if not named by Harry, at length. You adored hearing Harry speak about his own personal growth and becoming comfortable in himself - but for every question about identity and fashion, came three about the clear sexual undertones and soulmate ideologies.

You were rational in your discomfort. You listened to Adore You and your other stand out favourites when you wrote, you understood and trusted that Harry had moved on, you'd been together for almost a year and he's told you weeks before then when you were just new friends that he knew he was ready again after months of working on himself.

You just couldn't deal with one song.

Breaking up and having sex you could deal with, you could enjoy the final work. They were normal things that people went through and wrote about. But the first sign of love? The sweet, endearing start of a relationship that he was so clearly ardent about - as if his feeling were a lot fresher than you'd imagine for a relationship that started and ended months ago.

Sunflower Vol.6 was beautiful, but as hard as you tried, you couldn't just see it objectively. You felt it so concentrated, and it hurt like fucking hell.

- - -

"Do we have any mango?" Harry calls from the kitchen, the click of the fridge opening quietly behind him. "Never mind found it!"

You smile at his domestic charm as you work on you most recent piece; it's been taking up a lot of time, creeping into your weekend which hadn't gone unnoticed by Harry as he had returned from the morning run you usually went on as a couple. A few moments later, after the loud whirring of the blender stopped, a pinky-orange smoothie is placed beside you and kiss pressed to the side of your head.

"When're you gon'a be done?" He murmurs against your ear, curls flopping down onto your own.

He's just finished his last week of press, ending with Howard Stern who seemed eager to remind Harry, constantly, of all the women he could have. You weren't particularly public yet so you couldn't really blame him for assuming Harry would be starting a new relationship soon. It just added to the frustration you'd been careful not to disclose over the long period of promo for the album.

"I wanna finish this today so we're both free after we fly back, I'jus need a little time alone, yeah?" A low grumble and a "yeah" was the only response he gave and he removes himself to the other side of the big living room to lay down on the sofa and slurp his breakfast.

Your deadline is Monday but tomorrow morning you're flying back to London and driving up to Holmes Chapel to spend time with Harry's family before he was away on tour for months so you were eager to be free from work.

Hours tick by, you're stuck in the spiral of the final edit. There were a few words that you couldn't quite tweak how you wanted them, as always. You got up to make lunch.

As you pass through the living room you expect to see Harry's body sprawled across the sofa napping, but only a bundle of throw blankets lay where he had been. His journal sits abandoned on the side table, propped open by a loose pen. You can see the scribbling of new song ideas and the beginnings of a poem, smiling to yourself you walk through to the kitchen - still no Harry.

Humming to yourself you open the fridge door, moving your hips slightly as you retrieve all the ingredients of a sandwich for you and Harry. Domestic moments like these were hard to come by in the midst of album releases and pre-tour prep, but you're looking forwards to the month ahead of you. No doubt you'll need some alone time after a week at his mother's house so you're being careful not to take any assignments for the rest of the month to make room for as many simple moments like this as possible once you're back in your London home.

Over the rustle of the bread packet and the crunch the lettuce made as you slice it, you can hear Harry's voice approaching from down the hall.

"Well thanks, mate-yeah..yeah we've gotta get drinks sometime it's been too long." He has the smile on his face that tells you it was another old friend calling to congratulate him on his album, probably a fellow musician from the early days.

Harry makes his way to your side, watching as you layer food into your sandwiches and steals a shred of lettuce. You can hear the other voice now - a clear English drawl you recognise as Ed. You've met a couple times and he's one of the most genuine men you've met, you much prefer him over some of the industry people Harry has to mingle with.

"Oh, dude and the mushrooms!" You giggle as you hear Ed laugh down the line at Harry. "I can't say I didn't guess something was up."

"Thanks, man - like what?" Harry chuckles back, sneaking more sandwich scraps as you slice a knife through them and dish them up.

"Um, the whole end of sunflower - are you really gonna do that live?" At the mention of the song, you feel your shoulders tense slightly. You're really trying to be a good girlfriend and support Harry - but that song just hits different, you trust Harry's love but you can't help but wonder if he has any feelings left over for Camille...

"If I have to!" Harry continues to joke, not noticing your discomfort or at least not mentioning it."Look, Ed, I gotta go but it was great talking to you"...

Harry's voice drones into the background as you take your plate and make your way back to your laptop, huffing as you're reminded of your own frustrations with yourself; he told you months ago that he's moved on, why can't you just believe him?

You can hear a quiet goodbye from Harry as he sets his phone down on the sofa and sits across from you at the table. Your laptop is still acting as a barrier between the two of you. You type at the keys, trying to look busy as you write and rewrite the same line over and over, sighing - you save and close the file and set your laptop aside.

"Not going how you want?" Harry asks.

"No, it is just...there's a bit I can't get to work. I just want to get this over with already." Harry thinks about what you've said for a moment before getting up and leaving the room - he comes back a moment later, setting a glass of water bedside your lunch and kissing your temple.

"Take a break love, you've been working all week you deserve it." He hums against your hair. "And thank you for lunch."

He's so sweet and chipper, smiling at you as he takes his plate out to the kitchen and returns to perch across the table from you, hand wavering over his journal as you finish your lunch.

He worries about you a lot. Normally over you working too much and not taking time for yourself or the amount of pressure, you put on yourself being overwhelming. It was in his nature to worry you remind yourself, you're trying hard to push past the hurt you can't quite let go of and the last thing you'd ever want was for him to feel bad about what he'd written so you'd managed to keep it under wraps. There was no need for him to be suspicious.

- - -

Your alarm goes off at 5am. Your flight is in 3 hours.

"Turn it off." You grumble, burying your head deeper into your pillow. The mattress dips underneath you when Harry turns, the duvet shifts as he slips his hand under and wraps his arms around you. "S'too early."

"I know." You love how Harry's voice sounds in the morning - rough with a soft edge. It's one of the first things you fell in love with; the extra degree or two the morning adds to his embrace, he's always quick to loop his arms around your middle if they've come undone in the night. His untamed and often tangled curls bristle against the back of your neck and there'll be a few moments of warm even breaths against your ear before he bounces up. He's very much a morning person.

"I'm getting in the shower y/n, I'll be out in a sec - get up yeah?" You mumble a slightly coherent response as he leaves the room, a towel draped over his bare shoulder.

Following a few moments of deliberation, you sit up. Unplugging your phone from where it lay on your bedside table, you check your notifications. Sure you'll be up in time, you open twitter.

Unsurprisingly, nothing much is happening. You scroll through a few messages from the day before until you come across a video of Harry being interviewed, he's wearing the thick red cardigan he recently bought so it must've been from this week.

You click play to see him smiling tiredly at the interviewer - you remember this day, you'd stayed up later than planned watching old toy story reruns then he'd been running around frantically getting ready the next morning. You lazily watch him answer a few frequently repeated questions until he's asked about the stages of romantic relationships that inspired certain songs. You expect the usual questions about songs like Adore You and Watermelon Sugar but instead, the interviewer takes a turn and seemingly voices all the concerns floating around your head;

"And one of my personal favourites: Sunflower vol.6, really captures the first realisation of love in a relationship, what lead you to write that song in particular, did you write from experience?"

"Thank you, yeah..I think that first really overpowering part of a relationship when two people are just starting to have these intimate, lovestruck moments together stuck with me and I-" You turn your phone off sharply. Your mind is spiralling with insecurities enough on its own without Harry himself describing how he first felt about his ex-girlfriend.

You sit against the headboard, mulling over the topic that has clouded your mind the past few days. You don't hear the shower turn off down the hall as you let out an angry grumble - it feels so shit and mean of you to be this way and you just want the clarity you had before this all happened.

"What's wrong love?" You look up to see Harry standing at the end of the bed. His hair is dripping onto his shoulders and he's wrapped a light pink towel around his waist loosely, concern contoured his face as he peers down at your huddled form.

"Jus' tired." You crawl forwards to climb out of bed, kissing Harry's cheek lightly as he stood unconvinced before heading to your wardrobe. "Honestly, I'm good."

"Okay..what's the time?"

"Uhhum-" You mutter as you riffle through a pile of sweaters. "5.30ish I think..check my phone"

You slip on a comfy pair of jeans and socks before you walk into the hall on your way to make you both coffee, there's a long pause from the bedroom before Harry calls down to you - 5.42am.

- - -

By the time the plane takes off, you're almost asleep again.

- - -

It's 7pm LA time when you step out the taxi delivering you home to your London house. It's almost 2 am here so despite your lack of tiredness you shuffle through the door behind Harry.

All your heavy luggage is left in the entryway as you climb the stairs up to your bedroom, eager to be done with jet lag and normal again by the morning.

You've made the mistake of sleeping the first 3 hours of the flight and now find yourself wide awake under the soft covers of you and Harry's bed. He always falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow, and with how quiet he's been all day you assume he's already tired. Between your early napping and him being engrossed in the book he was currently reading - there hadn't been much conversation between you on the flight over. As you snuggle further into the covers you realise things have been a little different these past few days, maybe being so caught up in your own head with work and worries of your own you haven't noticed but there's definitely been a...distance. You're just not sure which of it is creating it.

The next morning you wake to the radio playing from a few rooms away. Sitting up you look around the room; your suitcases are still downstairs by the look of it and Harry's side of the bed has been slept in and now deserted.

"Harry?" You call out. There's some kind of foggy sadness seeping around you as you hear no reply. Maybe you're just tired but you feel you might start sobbing any minute - it's a desperate feeling that you're not quite sure how to quench.

"Harry.." You call again as you climb out the bed, slipping a large jumper on over your head, pulling the braids you'd plaited for the flight that had come undone and frizzy with sleep, over your shoulders. "Love?"

There's still no response and you're now on the final step of the long staircase. You walk quickly through the house towards a quiet humming you can just about make out. You must have gathered speed in your anxious mission to find Harry because as you enter the kitchen you slam hard into the doorway as you reach out to balance yourself.

The movement in his peripheral makes Harry turn his head, slipping the bulky headphones off his ears and slipping his phone into his pocket. He'd previously been slumped against the kitchen counter, lost in thought as he skimmed through his phone, forgetting the kettle as it boiled beside him.

"Love- oh, careful." He chuckles slightly before he takes in your expression. You must have started crying by now because he rushes quickly towards you. "Woah- woah what's wrong? Did you hurt yourself?"

The arm that had taken the full brunt of the doorway was now being carefully examined by Harry as his eyes scan you, searching for any harm. His hand comes to wipe at the few glossy tears on your cheek before he gently asks his question again.

"No I-I was calling for you..." You reply, equally confused as him by the whole situation.

"I didn't hear you love I'm sorry, what happened?" He's placed your arm back by your side now although his hands lingers around yours.

"...Nothing."

"Y/n, please just tell me. What's wrong?" He persists.

"No, I mean - nothing happened I just..." You mumble, how were you supposed to explain that when you woke up you felt terrifyingly alone and just needed to find him...to remind yourself that everything you'd let conspire in your head wasn't really happening.

"Y/n, I know something's up..the last week has been really busy I know but if something's wrong please just tell me, okay?" You think about it for a second before blurting out-

"Would you tell me if you still loved her?"

This doesn't seem to be at he was expecting, or you for that matter. The situation was uncomfortable - hearing your boyfriend sing about how intensely he loved Camille and how badly losing her broke him, but it was just music. You don't realise until you ask him the awkward question, just how much it had been bothering, or scaring you.

"What?"

"I just mean...Okay shit I don't mean that at all I'm just tired and I woke up and you weren't there and I just needed to find you I-"

"Is this what's been upsetting you?" His words aren't spoken forcefully, more...sadly. "T-this is what the phone call and the yesterday morning and...oh God the whole fucking flight! That's what you were thinking?"

"What phone call, what do you mean?" You don't know if he's angry at you or not, his hands are in his hair and he's got the mad look in his eyes that tells you he's either about to shout or cry.

"With Ed. As soon as he mentioned the album you left the room and, and! Yesterday, you were angry about something and then I checked the time and your phone opened on some video about the album and come on...you can't say everything was okay on the flight...we barely talked...we've barely talked at all this week." You're decided that the crying is a lot worse than the shouting. There's something cathartic that comes from shouting back at someone who's just as angry as you - but crying back at someone who's just as confused and upset? It makes you feel all twisted and uncomfortable.

"No..no Harry that's not it-"

"Y/n don't lie I-"

"It's not. I love your album and I'm so, so proud of you, and of everything you did to make it and I understand the importance of your relationship with Camille," Harry's huffing now, his fingers are tangled further in his hair and he's leaned up against the door frame close opposite you. "-This album is all about that time in your life and that's fine...Harry I love it, honestly, the album isn't anything to do with anything-"

"You just asked me if I still loved her!" He exclaims, staring wide-eyed back at you. "I don't give a shit about the album right now, you can hate it, okay? That's okay? But you asked me if I still love her...Y/n look at me."

Your eyes, tightly fixed on the kitchen tiles, tilt up to see his face. His eyes are red and splotchy and his hands reach out to hold you as he speaks again.

"I don't love her, I haven't in a long, long time. I had the ideas for all the songs about her before I even met you, you okay..you're the person I love and...I thought you knew that?" He sighs, hesitant before he starts again. "I thought you trusted me."

There's another pause between you as you mull your next thoughts over.

"I do."

He shakes his head, teary and angry.

"No you don't, if you did you wouldn't have asked-"

"It's just that fucking song!" You snap, you take a sharp breath in and swallow the lump in your throat - "I know that you don't love her, I know it but, when I listen to you sing - and talk, telling people about this wonderful honeymoon romance that even after years you remember so vividly and, and that means so much to you,I..."

"Track 9?" Harry questions, seemingly understanding everything you've just rambled. "Sun- oh baby no it's not..."

"I'm sorry I...It's a great song I just, whenever I hear it I'm reminded of how much you must have felt for her and, and remembered all this time to write about...what?" Harry's smiling now, he seems to be relived for some reason. His eyes are brighter, clearing slightly and he chuckles slightly.

"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry lovie I should have told you.." He scrambles. "I, I was embarrassed when I wrote it because we'd only just started dating and then you heard it a couple weeks later and it was too soon to tell you and then I just...didn't. I thought maybe you'd figured it out."

"What do you mean?"

"It's about...us."

"You told me you didn't write any about me though..."

"No, I said I hadn't written any you were going to see anytime soon...and that was, awhile ago." He smiles slightly, squeezing your hand in his. "There's another one about you actually too,"

"Harry you, you wrote it about us.." Harry hums a confirmation, bowing his head to press a kiss to your cheek. "I thought...what else did you write!"

Harry laughs now, catching your lips with his as you both feel each other relax - the tension and discomfort seeping away as you realise the reality of everything you'd worried yourself over in the last week.

You pull away, one hand on his chest and the other fiddling with the curls at the back of his head.

"Seriously what else did you write-"

"I'm not telling." He beams, leaning down against the firm push you send to his chest.

"I swear if you wrote a song about our sex life I-"

"Shhhh!" He presses a mocking finger to your lips to quiet you. "We better be going, don't wanna be late."

With that, he leaves the kitchen, you can hear his heavy steps rushing up the stairs and soon the house is quiet and the air around you is settled again.

There's a subtle hum of the shower upstairs that intrudes but nonetheless, the clarity's back.

#harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fine line #fine line fic #harry styles #harry styles sunflower vol.6 #harry styles writing #idk what to tag i haven't been on here in YEARS #oop #well i guess that's it

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readingsbylibramc · 3 years

Text

birth chart reading for @misssbrianna

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. venus has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around love, friendship, beauty and finances. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your career, financial life and also your mental health.

your dominant planets are the sun, venus and mercury. you are a very creative and artistic person, you are quite smart and you're able to come up with innovative ideas. you're probably very charming as well, you're quite charismatic and sociable too, it's hard for you to be disliked by others.

your dominant sign is leo. you are extremely charismatic, it's easy for you to feel confident about yourself, or at least you project an image of you that looks very put-together. you are a perfectionist, you want to be perfect and you also expect others to try as hard as you. you have high standards, but only because you know your worth.

your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.

🌎 ascendant in leo, 7° / 1st decan ruled by the sun

you’re an extremely confident and bright person, or at least you have a very strong aura around you that makes you look like you are. you have exceptional charisma and presence, in fact this is usually a celebrity placement! you surely don’t go overlooked. you naturally always try your best to make people feel at ease, and you mostly succeed thanks to your warmth, which makes you even more attractive. you probably like being recognized, and you may want to be famous. in fact, you like being in the spotlight and loaded with compliments and appreciation, they incredibly boost your self-confidence. your charisma may sometimes be too noticeable, resulting a bit dramatic; you may gesticulate a lot, imitate voices… basically, you would do amazing at acting, for example. in fact, most celebrities have a leo rising, or leo placements of any sort. you’re very playful, you most likely look younger than you are for your personality. you may also be a savage, and you’re most likely good at jokes of any kind. you appear as a very bubbly and outgoing person, yet you may be quite secretive. you don’t open up easily, especially about family / private matters. especially with your water influence, you’re very picky when it comes to trusting people. in addition, you’re a perfectionist; you care a lot about everything that revolves around you, from physical appearance to your job, you want it all to be perfect. that can cause you a lot of stress, as you always want to seem at your best state, you despise being seen as weak or unprepared. physically, all leos have beautiful hair. you may have curly, perhaps red or dark hair, or at least it’s very thick. you may also get tanned easily, an olive skin tone or any kind of warm undertones to your skin. you may have full, plump lips, or at least they have a defined cupid’s bow.

🌞 sun in leo, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by the sun and jupiter

just like the sun, you shine brightly. you're confident, independent, brave and friendly. you're the only who can handle your life, no one can tell you who you are, what you want or what you need. sometimes you can get insecure, as you feel pressured to always be perfect. you try to be nice and kind to everyone, as you don't wanna be seen as someone unpleasant to be with. even though you may be into gossip and rumors, you try to avoid being involved with them at every cost. the thing with leo is, you're either loved or hated. no inbetween. some may admire your confidence, assertiveness and determination, others may be jealous of you. you have celebrity-like presence, you don't go overlooked. you're most probably the life of the party, and you enjoy living a life full of fun and amusement. you're also amazingly creative. with your heavy leo influence, you have the potential to do and achieve whatever you want, you're very resolute. even though you look very open to getting to know new people, you're secretly very picky about who you call your friends, or even when choosing a partner. you always try to be perfect, and hence you want someone that looks and tries just like you do.

leo sun conjunct leo venus: you enjoy peace and harmony. you want your surroundings to look all neat and clean, and same goes for the people you surround yourself with. you wish people saw you as easy to approach, even though you may struggle with your image. you try to be as formal and kind as possible with people you don’t know well, unless they start getting on your nerves by disagreeing with your opinions or being too bossy. you’re very feminine, not only in your looks and manners but also in the way you dress. you’re quite romantic too, and dream of having a perfect marriage. the downside to this aspect is that because you take so much care of yourself, people may mistake your self-love for vanity, especially with your leo dominance. also, your self-esteem may depend too much on others’ opinion of you; you may start thinking you’re ugly and unworthy of love just because someone told you you’re not their type, to sum up.

leo sun square scorpio pluto: probably during your childhood you couldn't make your own decisions. you might have been highly influenced by someone in your family, probably your father, and hence now you feel the need to have everything under control. maybe too much. you despise authority, you may even quite rebellious. maybe your parents have tried to convince you following their religion, ideals etc., without giving you freedom. or perhaps, they are overprotective and avoid to make you have experiences. I imagine that getting rid of your control issues, which are caused by this sense of not being in control of your life, may be the first step to finally heal your wound, which is somehow linked to the relationship with your friends and casual partners in your everyday life. start trusting others more, and don't be afraid of being 'fooled'. you're totally capable of understanding when someone is trying to hurt you, follow your intuition. even though it may be hard, even painful, it'll be the key to transform and overcome pluto's lessons to achieve your goals.

🌙 moon in pisces, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by neptune and pluto

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon conjunct pisces saturn: you most probably felt misunderstood during your childhood, as if everyone were cold with you. maybe your mother (or anyone in your family/childhood) was emotionally absent or even aggressive, hence you didn't grow up in a completely healthy environment. this issue causes you to question your worth; you may have low self-esteem, especially during your early years. your family may have big expectations of you, and hence you feel the need to meet them, making you even more pressured to be perfect. overall, your personality may resemble that of your parents a lot, even though it may feel challenging for you. you're constantly strict with yourself, challenging yourself to improve. you always want to be at your best state, physically but also emotionally. you just want to radiate good vibes, even though you may feel limitated to share all of your true self due to saturn making harsh aspects.

🗣 mercury in virgo, 5° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

you have a very logical, pragmatic mind. ironically, this creates contrast with your leo energy, confusing you as you may act differently in different situations. you try to be as well-spoken as possible, especially with strangers, but when people get on your nerves you can’t help but kill them with your words. before expressing your opinion on a certain matter, you like making sure that your thought actually has proof to be supported. you’re very analytical, and hence you also overthink a lot. especially when it comes to people you care, you start overthinking so much about little things like late replies to messages that you create a variety of hollywood-worthy scenarios in your head. you also pay lots of attention to details, and you can’t tolerate typos and grammar mistakes. you always try to speak and write in the most correct and polite way as possible. you may have an elegant, yet neat handwriting. your voice probably sounds very calm and collected, yet you don’t have any problems speaking at a louder tone.

virgo mercury square sagittarius jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends.

virgo mercury square scorpio pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in leo, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by the sun and jupiter

with leo venus you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.

💥 mars in libra, 13° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and mercury

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst things that you probably don’t even mean, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in leo. with this placement, you care a lot about your persona, both physically and also mentally too. yet, you may start feeling like you need to be perfect at all costs to be accepted, especially during your early years. for example, you may be the type to follow fashion trends to look cool, and you may subconsciously force yourself to like them. you need to understand that you should enhance your individuality, and ask yourself who you are. it’s not all about who you are outside, the inside matters even more. you’re free to stand out, but make sure that you do it in a comfortable way for you, or it will start becoming toxic as time goes by. venus is also placed here: you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it.

your 2nd house is in leo, with also the sun and mercury sitting there. your self-esteem depends on matters like money, possessions, as well as your influence on others. you may feel confident when you’re praised and spoiled with compliments and material things, you may enjoy being in the spotlight as it increases your self-confidence, even though you’re quite shy so you don’t feel very at ease. you feel confident when you’re able to earn money and you’re financially stable, and hence you probably felt guilty as a child to ask your parents for money for example. you probably love luxury, you aspire to become very wealthy, live in the house of your dreams, etc. you could also dream of becoming famous. and actually, with this placement, you could make money from leo-related matters, and hence being in the spotlight, creativity (especially theatre / drama), comedy, etc. you value stability in both romance and in your day-to-day life, like at work. you take care of your body and style in any sort of way, as your 1st house venus confirms. you like keeping your mind active everyday, especially by following your passions. if you’re the logical type, you might enjoy playing sudoku or things like that. on the other hand, if you’re more phylosophical you might enjoy reading, writing etc. you have a great sense of duty, that makes you want to excel in whatever you do. in addition to this, you’re also very stubborn. you probably get in arguments with others because you don’t accept their advices/criticism and prefer going your own way. you may also tend to overindulge a bit, and become a bit lazy. you care a lot about grammar, you don't want to make any mistakes. looking ridiculous is your biggest fear, hence you end up overworking to prove yourself that you're capable to do anything you want. you have a slow way of thinking and speaking. your voice may sound really calm and pleasant to hear, yet still strict and ambitious. you’re probably a good singer, or at least have the potential to become one. you tend to overthink a lot, but you eventually get to a conclusion and stick to it. no one is gonna change your mind. you enjoy learning and working in creative ways; you might enjoy using powerpoints, flashcards or maybe study with your friends, or listening to music. you also probably have a nice, aesthetic handwriting and you like organizing your agenda. your voice is probably very soft and youthful.

your 3rd house is in virgo. you’re very precise and polite in the way you express your thoughts. you’re probably very careful to grammar, vocabulary etc… you love looking and being knowledgeable. you’re more of a logical type rather than an intuitive person, you hardly ever do something only out of curiosity. you’re very cautious about the decisions you make, and hence it could take you some time to finally choose something, but that’s because you just don’t want to regret anything. you think deeply about your choices, and most of the time they turn out to be right. you’re strongly opinionated, but you may be a bit too harsh when you express your ideas. sometimes you could even hurt someone, as you’re extremely honest. you don’t like sugar-coating your words. you’re also very intelligent and hard-working, and you can’t stand messy things. you’re probably very neat, you like having schedules and you may even keep an agenda / diary where you keep track of your appointments and other things you have to do.

your 4th house is in libra, with also mars placed there. your physical home was probably very pleasant and beautiful; you may have a conventionally beautiful family, or at least they’re particularly attractive and charming. your house may also be very well-designed and elegant, doesn’t matter how big it is. you probably see your parents as ideal, they are your role models and you look up to them. perhaps, it could be that you felt misunderstood, maybe your parents were a bit materialistic or lacked empathy, but overall you had a great childhood, you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings if you have them. it could also be that you dated lots of people when you were a teen, or at least you had lots of friends. you certainly have lovely memories of your early years, and your parents most likely have a good relationship too. perhaps you used to argue often with your parents, there was quite a lot of fighting, but nothing too serious, I don't see any serious trauma in your childhood.

your 5th house is in scorpio, with also your pluto and jupiter being here. your hobbies most likely include self-expression of any kind, anything that you consider private is told through your creativity. also, with scorpio in this house, you may as well be attracted to darker hobbies like astrology, tarots… possibly, you may be into thriller or even into horror. you may also like psychology, criminology… this type of things that are able to stimulate your mind in some way. you could possibly want to be a risk-taker, deep down. also, you want to become a master in what you like, and hence you tend to go extreme to become perfect. you may dedicate a lot of your spare time to your hobbies, for example, even if you have to work. your romantic relationships may be very intense, you could attract particularly jealous or even obsessive partners in your life. some of them may be painful, but they’ll be essential to become mature and grow up into a better, wiser person. in addition, I see you as the type of person who doesn’t like showing off their partner. you probably keep both your love interests and hobbies personal, you only talk a little about them to your close, trusted friends, especially with your pluto in this house that makes this energy even stronger. jupiter here makes you particularly charming, it's easy for you to attract people interested in you romantically, you have a very striking charisma that makes it impossible not to like you. you're also particularly witty and creative, people admire you for your ideas. you may have a great sense of fashion and aesthetic as well.

your 6th house is in capricorn, with also uranus and neptune placed there. usually, people with a capricorn 6th house are very responsible and work-oriented. they generally don’t leave much space to fun and amusement, but the presence of uranus and neptune here may change this a bit. you do have a strong sense of duty, but you don’t overwork yourself. you’re able to find balance between work and hobbies, and that’s obviously great. yet, you may sometimes procrastinate in your day-to-day life. that can possibly cause you issues in your career; you may be indecisive about your future path for example, or you could even not be much precise in your work. uranus here also indicates that you may often come across unpredictable events in your daily life. you may often see strange, unordinary things, or perhaps it’s your routine that is like that. you may lack consistency when it comes to diets and health, for example; you may start a diet and keep it for a month, then you get tired and drop it all of a sudden.

your 7th house is in aquarius. you do like the idea of marriage and love, yet you need your space as well. you don’t want to feel committed in a relationship, it would be suffocating for you. that could make you appear as emotionally cold or detached, when you’re really not. you just care a lot about your personal growth, especially after your turbulent childhood. perhaps, you could even attract mentally unstable partners, they could be a bit moody for example. you may meet your future spouse in an unexpected situation, or perhaps you could meet them online through social media or a dating app.

your 8th house is in aquarius. you could possibly have an unexpected yet barely painful death, or perhaps someone in your life has died / will die all of a sudden, you may often experience scenarios of this kind. possibly, you could even die due to electricity, and or at least it will be a very fast death, I don’t see it being violent or turbulent at all. or maybe, you’re surrounded by unpredictable events of loss of any kind in your life. that is, it could also happen with your money. it’s important not to risk too much with this placement, especially with gambling, or you may end up getting in serious problems. you’re fascinated by the occult, and you may even be/been able to talk to dead people. you’re very intuitive, and it’s easy for you to read through people’s words. you may as well have prophetic dreams.

your 9th house is in pisces, with also your moon and saturn sitting there. this is definitely a nice placement! the result is that you’re probably extremely open-minded and imaginative. you hardly ever have have prejudices, you don’t judge a book by its cover. you’re extremely opinionated, and combined with your virgo 3rd house you’re constantly looking for the truth. you hate it when people say something wrong for example, you can’t help but correct them. you could also be religious and believe in a god. philosophy, literature and poetry are also a part of your many interests. in addition, you’re most likely also into foreign languages and cultures. you could travel a lot, or perhaps with your pisces in the house cusp you like travelling with your mind. you probably literally create stories in your head, you’re extremely imaginative. a good advice would be not to waste this talent of yours; you could actually make your fantasies concrete and express them through creative outlets: books, drawings, songs, choreographies… basically, it would be a waste to only keep them for you. you may also learn about more creative topics rather than school subjects. due to saturn's presence in this house though, it could take you a while to finally open up and make new experiences. growing up, you'll get to travel the world and open your mind more. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, misogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences.

your 10th house is in aries. with your 10th house cusp in the energetic sign of aries, you need a career that allows you to be independent, you probably prefer working alone than in groups. or perhaps, you actually aspire to become a boss, a ceo, someone people look up to, and if you work hard you may actually become an influential person in your work place / field. you aspire to be successful and you want to be wealthy thanks to yourself only, and you may actually develop some good luck in your career life. your future job may also require something related to physical action, and hence you may have to move a lot for your job, perhaps you may pursue acting to include something creative that also requires you to move. the sun here also makes you gain a reputation for being responsible and mature, you have a strong charisma and you probably seem very put-together to others.

your 11th house is in taurus. you could possibly attract people with taurus traits, and hence your friends could be quite stubborn and possessive, but also very loyal and responsible. they could possibly be wealthy, and they could have some artistic, creative interest and / or talent just like you. you may have some trust issues, you’re careful about who you trust, and hence you’re quite cautious about who you befriend. your long-term goals include financial stability, you may be quite materialistic as you enjoy wealth. yet, I assume that thanks to your water placements you’re not as work-focused as other earth placements, you actually also value emotions and feelings too. I feel like you probably have very big goals and dreams that you want to come true.

your 12th house is in cancer. you’re an extremely spiritual and intuitive person. you may be attracted to dreams, religion, astrology, spirituality… anything that can wake you up, spiritually speaking. you may also be particularly talented at reading birth charts, tarots, even talking to spirits. you may have prophetic dreams, or you could even have deja-vus. the 12th house is also the house of fears, so having cancer here indicates that you may be afraid of your childhood, emotions, past memories. perhaps, even of your home environment or directly of your parents. it’s a part of your life that you’d rather keep secret. you may also have some escapism tendencies, such as oversleeping, overeating… or perhaps, you could easily develop addictions, so be careful to that, as you’re particularly sensitive to drugs, alcohol etc.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aquarius, sagittarius, gemini, scorpio and leo placements and/or traits. your future spouse will most likely have sagittarius and gemini traits or placements. they’ll be very similiar to you: bubbly and hard-working, but also with a warm, loyal heart and a hidden insecurity to them. you may meet them at work, or perhaps even abroad. perhaps they could be foreign, or maybe you're going to meet them on a vacation. in general, you'll meet with your spouse during a fun, relaxing situation. perhaps at a party, at the club, at a concert, at the mall, etc. your children will most likely have strong scorpio and sagittarius traits: they’ll be very smart and intense, but also very sensitive deep down. also, they’ll be extremely intelligent and more mature as time goes by. they’ll also have a tender side to them, but that is often overshadowed by their seriousness.

👶🏻 family life

your father is a very fiery, impulsive person, with a short-temper. he could have even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and he might have a bit of a childish behaviour, even though I don't really think it's your case thanks to your libra ic. deep down, he’s actually kind of insecure with his role as a father, but he may hate to admit it. he may have aries, cancer, libra or scorpio placements in his chart. your mother, on the other hand, is slightly more submissive. she’s mostly a peaceful and emotional person, even though she most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. she could be conventionally beautiful, or at least she likes taking care of herself. she may have libra, aries or taurus placements in her chart, as well as pisces and capricorn. if you have siblings, they’re probably very peaceful and intelligent. they may also be very kind, as well as organized. their rooms probably look immaculate. they could have virgo or gemini placements in their charts.

📊 career

you’re a very ambitious person, and hence I don’t see you being the type to scrap projects. especially with your aries midheaven, you’re motivated to complete your works in order to show that you’re able to succeed, you want to be the best in what you do. I can also see you being a good therapist, psychologist, possibly even a doctor of any kind, even though I’d avoid practical and boring jobs if I were in you. your strong pisces energy struggles to be cold-minded at times, and hence working in a stressful environment could be dangerous for you and for your mental health, as you may absorb others’ negativity and stress. actually, I feel like the most suited career for you would be something that allows you to be in charge, to be your own boss as you know what’s best for you. you may also do well with a creative career; you may become a writer, a dancer, a singer, a stylist, a model, an actress... anything that isn't too practical could be good to you, and if it allows you to express your creativity it's even better.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

keyword for your wardrobe: black. every leo venus loves black, it's probably my favorite love story. after all, it's such a versatile color! it can be both badass and classy, how can I blame you. you may also have a thing for anything that looks luxury and high quality; you probably enjoy wearing designer brands, especially in your belts and bags. you may also like wearing fitted clothes, even just simple skinny jeans or tight tops. aside from black, you could as well use white and bold colours like gold, hot pink etc. also, you may as well be into pastel colors, and you could like following fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were very career-oriented. you were probably extremely successful at work, it was your priority. you could have even been someone important for your career, who knows. yet, this lifetime you don't need to focus on work anymore, you're already a master at it. now, you need to solve your issues with your family and create a family of your own to fully accomplish your life purpose. there may be some ups and downs, but this is what your soul has to learn in this lifetime.

🤔 major transits analysis / september 6

transit libra mercury is currently in your 4th house conjunct your natal mars. you could be feeling particularly honest in these days, you're more likely to speak your mind. you want to be around your loved ones but you're also particularly sensitive, therefore you could get angry easily and overall you're more impulsive, so beware of possible conflicts with others.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

-libramc xx

#astrology

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justanalto · 3 years

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top five repeats! :)

i was tagged by @agentmmayy (playlist royalty!!) to talk about five songs i've got on repeat. thank you ness!!!

1. memphis by joy oladokun

i love, love, love the concept of this song. i love its simplicity and how it builds and how you can't quite capture its complete essence unless joy herself is singing it. there is a depth in there that is completely inaccessible to joy herself, and no shade to it! it just makes me very enviable, lol. i love the lyrics, things like "i can wait a little longer if it means // that love is rising like the dawn to shine on me // i'm runnin' on, life ain't half as long as it seems" are beautiful lines. and i think my favorite thing about it is that i heard joy once say that she loves performing this song because it's like a look back on who she used to be and how far she's come in terms of being in love, and i want that for me too. (stream in defense of my own happiness)

2. central station by may-a

may-a just dropped a new ep i think, so this popped up on my spotify playlist somewhere and honestly idk about the rest of the ep but this slaps with its electric guitar and its dreamy what-if quality. i also know it references grand central station, so now everything is set in this new york vibe, which i love. my favorite line from this song is from the chorus: "everything is falling into place but you" and I just love the way it scoops. it's got that city wanderlust mood, where you see new york city the way it is in the movies, the happy montages with the person you love in a coming-of-age movie. find someone who makes you feel this way, honestly. (i also recommend apricots, it's a heart wrencher)

3. pink pony club by chappell roan

ness recommended this to me actually so shout out!!! i love chappell roan's voice so much -- it reminds me of something deep combined with something elizabeth gillies, the range of it. there's also something in the yearning to escape that hits so well, i listened to one of her other songs -- california -- and this has that same type. only this is the kind you dance to in the middle of the night when no one's looking. bonus points if you can imagine that there's a disco ball gently shimmering around you. this is the one you lose yourself in and think about absolutely nothing for four minutes.

4. i loved you first by joan

now this -- this is the kind of song that's got you staring at the ceiling of your bedroom when it's a liminal hour in the morning, pondering everything that's going on in your life and what your role is in it. makes you wonder about all the people you love and whether you're doing it right. either that or it's a night in the city (nyc, fifth avenue outside the met, specifically) and you're sitting watching the cars rush by deep in thought. either way, i've just been doing a lot of spaced thinking and this song really lets me do that. the end always brings you to a conclusion, too, but it's not always a happy one. (there's been a lot to figure out in life lmaooo)

5. dancing in the kitchen by lany

every year in july and august (i'll do it until i can do it again) i get sentimental about going to la because those were just such significant visits for me. i loved them so much. but this has the floaty vibes of one of my favorite places (so far), aka a sunset on santa monica beach, walking along the boardwalk without having to care about a single goddamn thing. there's a lot of la vibes i have in songs tbh, and all of them encompass different moods and experiences, but this happened to be the most recent one. it's also just such a homey vibe: dancing in the kitchen, carefree, with someone you love. i want that.

honorable mention: one hundred times a day by emmy rouge

i'm trying to transpose this into a different guitar key which is why i keep playing it but also i'm literally obsessed with the little country twang i keep hearing in the lyrics and it is killing me. the head voice transition. the violin. that crisp lower range. (ok it's not actually that low but.) the entire bridge: "i cannot be your soulmate 'cause i cannot find my soul // i go to dance on weekends to prove i'm not alone". really i'm just a sucker for all of their songs, mostly. tldr i'm a simp is all it is actually

tagging: @sad-tunes @gnatromanoff @missinglittlebritishfriend @would-die-for-fitzsimmons @maybebrilliant @browneyedgenius @the9muses @ohwriteiforgot @book-and-music-lover and any other music friends out there!! :)

#tag things #agentmmayy #music things

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missinghan · 4 years

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night changes ⤖ bang chan

❖ genre : friends to lovers! au; fluff;

❖ word count : 5.3k

❖ warning : explicit language & mentions of alcohol

❖ summary : kissing Bang Chan was never on your New Year's resolutions list but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

one.

This is probably the tenth wedding you’ve been asked to plan out and as always, you’re not having it.

In your defense, there are countless reasons to hate a wedding.

One, all of your friends are out and about, running into the love of their lives like it was meant to be. Soon enough, all of your girls’ night out would be cancelled in replacement for their date nights. The next thing you know is that you’re now standing somewhere in the audience while they’re having their soon-to-be husband slipping the wedding band on their ring finger. Meaning, all you can answer during every family gathering about your non-existent love life is “I‘m not seeing anyone.”

Two, you don’t trust someone enough for them not to break your heart because you’re incredibly terrified of commitment. A single vow and a piece of paper simply means nothing if their feelings for you fade as time passes by. And obviously, they’d feel obligated not to leave you behind because, well, like they’ve said before - “I do.”

Three, people always say, if you love something, you have to learn to let it go. From your point of view, that’s just total bullshit. If you love something so badly, why should you even let it go in the first place ? You’re supposed to hold onto to it like your life depends on it, even if it makes you seem utterly pathetic. And you’re the kind of person who falls in love with someone, then let your entire universe revolves around them. Not to mention, you’d always end up getting hurt anyway.

Four, who the fuck would want to get married on New Year’s Eve ? Kim Woojin, unfortunately.

Not only do you feel personally called out because your best friend knows that you’re super single and super antisocial at the same time, but also because your other friends have already got themselves a kiss before 2020 even strikes. No doubt, you’d rather stay at home and cuddle with your dog instead. At least he’s willing to give you kisses at all times.

Worst case scenario ? You can still sit back and chat with your favorite person in the whole wide world. Hyunjin is easily mistaken by people that he’s either a player or a fuckboy, but in reality, he’s the literal definition of a ‘Hot Cheetos’. Meaning, he’s quite the looker but has the IQ of a freaking Cheetos despite his sparkly GPA because he’s just lost all the time. Anyhow, you never take his company for granted. He would rather take a step back and watch others party until they pass out on the floor, very much similar to you. In conclusion, you guys are practically platonic soulmates.

“How’s Felix been doing with that girl from work ?” You ask while sipping on the glass of rosé that a waitress has politely offered. Getting hammered tonight isn’t a bad choice, you figure as soon as ‘Beautiful in white’ starts playing in the background.

Hyunjin purses his lips and stares at his glass of bubbly water. “He was shaking while talking to her via text. Via text ! Fucking pathetic.” He clicks his tongue in disapproval. “At this rate, I’ll have no choice but to steal his phone and ask her out on a date in courtesy of him.”

You nod in acknowledgement. “He didn’t even have the courage to confess to the girl in Park’s business class back in college. How is he gonna get with someone from work where everything’s more complex and dramatic ? If he doesn’t have a girlfriend by next year, I’ll make him marry Seo Changbin.” Frowning at the burning sensation from the alcohol, you shake your head before placing the glass down. That’s too much wine for today.

You low-key feel bad for Felix and high-key wants to grill his ass at the same time. He might not be very smart, academically, but his hardworking nature made up for everything and that’s why he’d always excel in every single class that he attended. And if you were one of those shallow girls who are all about appearances and shit, you’d definitely fall for him. With a decently attractive face and chiseled abs, he already had your whole school down on their knees back then.

Okay, you might have exaggerated but Lee Felix is really something else. If only people could take more effort in getting to know him, he’s not just another pretty face to look at because nobody’s perfect. Felix is that kid who ran on three hours of sleep back in school because he had to finish homework then played video games in the dark until he’s sick of it. His parents’ bank accounts were probably mortified because they had to pay for their son’s eye surgery sooner or later.

But he is your stepbrother after all, in spite of his flaws.

“Wait, isn’t that Bang Chan from Changbin’s hip hop trio ? 3racha right ?” You notice a familiar face in the midst of chaotic people.

Hyunjin cranes his neck over the crowd and spots Chan almost immediately. “Oh right, we did decide to keep in touch but haven’t really talked that much. I heard they got signed into a music production company so things have been a bit crazy for them. You know, the music industry. Problematic as shit.”

Truth is, you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t have a crush on Chan back in the good old days college. You’ve only talked for a couple of times since he’s a mutual friend through Changbin but never really got the chance to get to know him because you’re extremely awkward when it comes to an authentic, in real life conversation. You’re also not the type to fall for someone twice but Chan looks really good tonight.

So your heart says otherwise.

two.

Not thoughts. Head empty. Just Chan.

Kim Woojin just has to have you and Chan sitting at the same table. Now he’s barely eight feet away and you’re already feeling the need to take a breather. You practically lost your feelings for him in the middle of your senior year because of the overloading amount of work and because you never mustered enough courage to ask for his number. But he’s currently right in front of you, too busy all smiling and laughing at Changbin’s dumb jokes to notice the mini mental debate that’s happening inside your head.

Chan has never appealed to you as much of a fashionista like Hyunjin because in college, he usually showed up with long-sleeved shirts, shorts and caps. Black all the way from head to toe. But now you’re starting to wonder if Hyunjin got his good taste from Chan because he can effortlessly pulls off a simple black suit and steals your heart with ease.

He’s wearing a one button suit with notch lapel, giving it a formal yet smart, casual look without overdressing. His white dress shirt is tucked inside his slacks neatly, hugging his body perfectly, and you know that he still takes good care of himself by the crispness of the cuffs. The matte finish of the black fabric makes the whole look that much more expensive with minimal effort. In which, makes your navy blazer over a silky black shirt, and matching pants extremely pale in comparison. Your black heels are also digging into your feet and you’re starting to regret the amount of money that you’ve spent on them.

You’re looking like you’re about to attend a meeting while Chan looks like he’s next on the red carpet for some award show. Oh the things you do to plan out your best friend’s wedding. You just can never imagine yourself frantically running from one place to another in a cocktail dress or a full-on gown. Not even in the next life.

“Christ, I miss my flats.” You wince slightly when the stilettos dig into the back of your feet, outstretching red marks across your skin when you try to sit down. Long story short, someone messed up the entire menu the day right before the wedding and nobody noticed it until you walked into the kitchen fifteen minutes ago for a last-minute checkup. So you’re obligated to spend another ten minutes trying to figure things out while having Jisung entertain everyone by a spicy session of the Pocky Game. Classic.

Seungmin frowns. “Just go bare-footed, the floor is decently clean. This place is a five-starred restaurant after all.” He gently helps you remove the undeniably uncomfortable shoes, tossing them under the table not long after. Your feet finally stop yelling at you for the first time since the past hours and you too, think that it was the wisest decision you’ve made tonight.

“Thanks Min, I really should have just said ‘fuck heels’ and gone with boots instead.” You smile weakly at your friend, feeling drained from the amount of work that you’ve put into Woojin’s wedding. Although weddings are still considered annoying in your eyes but Woojin has been there for you through every ups and downs. He’s the person who’d picked you up from really shitty parties and also the only one who’d cooked you hangover soup plenty of times because you just can’t accept how low your alcohol tolerance is for your own good.

Speaking of which, your best friend creeps up from behind you out of nowhere and almost gives you a cardiac arrest. “How does it feel to eye-fuck my best friend in the middle of my wedding who’s also your ex-crush ?” He says and swings an arm around your shoulder.

You quickly snap out of it, looking at him in disbelief while jolting up from your seat. “I’m not a freaking stalker— and your best friend, what ? Fuck you.” Woojin is usually pretty chill compared to your chaotic group of friends but when he’s in the mood to pester you, you swear to God, he’s louder than Han Jisung and Lee Minho combined.

“Hmm, it’s about time anyway.” Woojin hums. He’s having that kind of smirk which makes you want to knock the daylight out of him as he angles his wrist to take a closer look at his watch. “Would you guys just kiss already ? Chan’s not coming back for a good year or so. 3racha and their dumb business trips.” This time, the playfulness in his voice disappears and a glint of sadness is evident in the corner of his eye. Regardless of how many times they drive each other insane, Woojin could never trade his friendship with Chan for anything else. How could he ?

But wait, Chan isn’t coming back until the very next year ?

“Who said that our business trips are dumb ?” Someone voices from behind you.

In that moment, when you turn around and see his beautiful face, you quickly come to a conclusion that this is rocket science. Talking to your crush is so fucking complicated you wish that they taught you this in school. Like okay, you know that a thermite reaction is basically what happens when metal burns. And if you perform it on a block of ice, you end up with a spectacular explosion. But still, there’s no spark in your dry ass love life.

“Oh, hey Chan—“ You attempt to turn on your heels to meet his eyes but your feet fail you for the tenth time of the night, and gravity is apparently a bitch, which means you fall forward onto something which means you’re now on top of Chan which means he’s being crushed underneath your weight consider all you’ve been eating are donuts for breakfast and lunch while skipping dinner for the past few weeks.

Chan flutters his eyes open, watching how heat slowly flares across your cheeks with mild interest. “Hey,” He grins, both dimples are fully on display. “Long time no see.”

“Oh my god, Chan ! I’m so sorry !” You frantically try to get off of him and offer him a hand to stand up straight. You’ve officially entered panic mode when he grabs your hand firmly enough to lift himself up again. His touch feels absolutely magical because his hand perfectly envelopes your smaller one with ease. As if it’s personally mold by whatever god up there to interlock with yours.

Chan laughs at your flustered state, giving your hand a squeeze in reassurance before slipping his fingers out of yours completely. “It’s fine, but shit, how much did you drink ?”

Needless to say, you miss his touch.

three.

Ryujin deadpans. “Kiss-him-already.” Your roommate proceeds to kick your foot from under the table when she sees Chan excusing himself from the table.

Shin Ryujin don’t have to own the eyes of a legit eagle to see right through your nervous chuckles and the small glances that you keep throwing at Chan throughout dinner. It’s a pain in the ass to witness ‘awkward middle school Y/N’ all over again but at least she’d have something to post on her story in return.

You let out a barely audible groan because she is in fact, being so fucking obvious. Like hello ? Chan’s not blind, nor deaf and not to mention, he has a whole group of idiotic friends who have their phones out at all time to record any juicy moments during special occasions. Especially when it’s Woojin’s wedding.

But when you actually think about it, you’d definitely kick yourself too. Just thirty minutes ago, you had the perfect chance to strike a decent conversation with him yet your brain decided to have you chicken out of the situation instead. Everything was perfect to the T, the settings, the way that he smiles at you, the way that your heart picks up the pace just for him. But you indeed have to fuck up by blurting out the most pathetic little “I gotta go, the restaurant manager just texted me” to ever exist.

“Ryujin, I don’t think that’s how you help.” Jeongin supplies unhelpfully over a mouthful of crème brûlée, a desert dish that he can’t even pronounce properly. He swallows the big bite and pops another raspberry into his mouth, chewing obnoxiously. “This entire situation needs to be handled professionally.” He declares as if he’s THE expert. Good gracious, he’s quite the bad boy in highschool but those days are long gone.

Jeongin leaves his seat and cracks his knuckles dramatically. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. Changbin, give me a hand.” He waves Changbin over from the opposite side of the table. “You, me, on a count of three, get Y/N to the balcony for her New Year’s kiss. We better hurry cause we only got ten minutes to squeeze. Three, two, one.”

“No, no, no, oh my god PUT ME DOWN !”

It’s like every single neuron within the other one hundred million in Changbin’s brain cells is connected to Jeongin’s because before you can even object, the two of them easily shove you through the crowd of people who are swaying their bodies to the slow, sensual melody. When you can breathe normally again, your vision quickly adjusts itself on the surroundings, which is the restaurant rooftop terrace.

The cozy outdoor space features plenty of potted plants and contemporary furnishings. A sectional is complemented by an outdoor wicker square coffee table and a fabric covered butterfly chair. And there’s Chan, leaning against the black rail while admiring the city’s skyline. Your heart is thumping inside your rib cage so strongly that you can feel it through the veins on the back of your neck.

“Be subtle.” Jeongin pushes your back as soon as he sees your dreamy expression and he quickly drag Changbin away from the scene before he can even whip out his phone.

With his back profile facing you, Chan suddenly inquires calmly. “Are you gonna come here by yourself or do I have to hold your hand again ?”

You purse your lips. “Sure mom, I’m coming.” Yeah, real subtle.

After when you approach Chan and let your forearm dangling in midair from the steel rails, you can’t help but stare at him like a complete dumbass. Moon is lighting up his skin and breaking through his hair, the light embraces him elegantly like a halo of his own, leaving you completely astonished. Although he looks so ethereal in this moment, there’s also something else within his present that makes you a little fuzzy inside. Just like college, but stronger, more profound.

“How come you never asked for my number back then ?” Chan turns sideways and flashes you that boyish grin of his. He must know the effect that he has on you to keep playing with your heart like this. But also what ?

You’re gobsmacked at what he said, eyes as wide as a goldfish’s. “I didn’t even— how did you know ? It’s because of Jisung, isn’t it— my fucking God.” Words spill out from your lips one after another as if you've totally lost control of your own senses. When you’re able to finally snap it close, you also realize that too much has been said. All of your embarrassing moments were probably foiled right under your nose because Changbin and Jisung are two little big-mouthed shitheads.

Chan just laughs wholeheartedly because he’s secretly a sadist who loves to see you being a blushing mess. “I really should have just made the first move, huh ?” When you give him a confused look, he just sighs and takes out his phone. He goes straight into his contact list and shows you the screen with your name and number displayed on it. “Lix slid your number into my locket during your sophomore year, you’re quite clueless too because he clearly didn’t know how to hide secrets back then.”

“You had my number this whole time ?!” You exclaim rather loudly, mentally debating whether you should hug Lee Felix or throw him into a tank full of sharks. “Then how come you never gave me a call ?” A smile unknowingly outstretches on your lips when you find out that you’re not the only one who has been hesitating for a while. At least now you know that the feelings aren’t necessarily not mutual.

This time, it’s Chan’s turn to blush. In which you think he’s too cute when his pale cheeks are replaced by a coral shade of red. You start to wonder what it feels like to caress them with the tips of your fingers, to trace along his jaw and to run your hand through his locks of hair. And before he slips his phone back into his pocket, you catch a glimpse of his lock screen - a picture of Berry with the time displayed above her head [11:57p.m.].

Three minutes until 2020.

“Never got the courage to.” He confesses timidly. “I really thought that you wanted to ignore me for a second there. You know, the whole ‘the restaurant manager just texted me’ and you were avoiding my eyes. Not gonna lie Y/N, that shit stings.”

You roll your eyes at him. “FYI Christopher, it is scientifically proven that when a guy likes a girl, he looks straight into her eyes but when a girl has feelings for a guy, she simply looks away.” Despite the fact that you sound like a nerd, Chan still laughs it off since he’s a bit out of it because of the margarita that he downed about an hour ago. The alcohol really has to kick it right now, not before, not later, right-now.

Two minutes. Time is ticking. The decade is ending.

This is one of those moments where you wish time would just stop for a second because you’re already having too much on your mind yet too little time. The fact that Chan is looking at you with his dark brown eyes, full of liveliness and all, does not help to cope with the situation either.

He smiles sadly. “Y/N, I’m not coming back to Seoul until next year’s January.”

“I know,” You interrupts him awkwardly. “Woojin told me.”

“Do you want me not to—“

“Christ no ! Why would I ?”

God, how do people do this ? Do they just go for it ? No one told you that snatching yourself a kiss would be this hard. You really should have planned everything out first. “Chan, I—“ You blurt but mentally facepalm yourself not longer after. It’s not gonna work out anyway. “Whatever, I’ll just head back inside, it’s freezing out here.”

One minute. Only sixty seconds left.

Those words which left your lips ten seconds ago finally knock some sense into Chan and have his eyes twice as big as before when you suddenly walk away. He instinctively grabs your wrist and turns you around. Nothing seems to make sense anymore when all you feel is Chan’s hand holding onto your waist as if you’re gonna disintegrate into dust the moment he lets you go. His other hand gently caresses your chin and quickly decreases the gap between your lips.

Shivers bubble up on your skin as Chan’s mouth repeatedly brushes against yours, backing you up against the wall. All you can do to deal with the mess running through your mind at the speed of light is to lay your palms onto his firm chest for dear life. The feeling of his soft lips makes you feel like you’ve just spent the whole night by the bar where Minho is mixing up some sketchy looking drinks with you chugging from one glass to another without hesitation. Undeniably intoxicating.

Chan smiles into the kiss when you suddenly grab a fistful of his tie to pull him in closer, deepening you both into the downward spiral full of tenderness and devotion. Although he’s not your first kiss but Chan will definitely be on your mind all day all night for the next few weeks because this kiss is the kind of kiss that leaves you a bit lightheaded but can put a dumb, lovestruck smile on your face anytime.

A small ‘clank’ occurs out of nowhere, making you two flinch. When you break away from the kiss, Jisung is standing there in front of the glass door dumbfoundedly with a can of Coke lying on the concrete floor. “Uhm- sorry. I didn’t know that the rooftop is already taken.” He coughs awkwardly and picks up the red aluminum can.

Woojin isn’t allowing a single drop of alcohol inside his body since he’s the chosen one tonight to drive everyone home after when they all get shitfaced. “Just so you guys know… we’re having cake. It’s— it’s confetti by the way Y/N, your favorite. So.. uhm yeah.. come back whenever you guys are ready— we’ll just— just wait haha, okay bye.”

And that is how Han Jisung learnt how to run. As if he’s Usain Bolt before Usain Bolt was even Usain Bolt. You’ve never seen him running away from something so fast before. He’s not gonna get a good sleep tonight, that’s for sure.

“So…” Chan drawls and you love how his cheeks are still tinted pink, his cool breath fanning your forehead. Fireworks are crackling and whistling in the background, painting the sky with different shades of glitter. Like an explosion of paint on a black canvas but you can’t care less when you already have him by your side like this. Talking about kicking off the New Year by kissing your ex-crush, how drama material.

“Do you still want my number or nah ?”

You almost scoff at him. “I believe that’s not how CB97 get all the girls.”

Chan grunt softly before pulling you into his embrace, nuzzling his nose into your hair. “Ugh, don’t even remind me. I’ve been clowned enough for ‘Wow’ already.” And you just stand there with your hands clasped onto his back, letting every single word, every single moment sink into you like you’re rewatching an old movie. That’s also when you realize that, you just got yourself a New Year’s kiss.

“I’ll miss you, Chan.” You whisper into his ear, teary-eyed.

“Well, you know what they say : Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” He replies like the exceptional composer that he is, holding onto you firmly. Just firmly enough because he wants to hold you like you’re a single snowflake, threatening to disappear if he accidentally squeezes too tightly, but will easily slip away if he doesn’t hold you back. Chan might not know what the future has in store for him but he knows that everything will turn out just fine as long as you’re right here, in his embrace.

Nothing matters when he has both of his hands clenched and remains still in your heart.

four.

[ 3:25a.m. ]

shrek | take care :pp I hate you.

quokka | I’ll give you half of my salary when I get back so please don’t kill me for dropping your favorite mug =)))

Another thing school has yet succeeded in teaching you : how to not be late to literally every single important moment in your goddamn life.

It’s barely forty-five minutes before the flight and you’re THIS close to having a mental breakdown because Chan is actually horrible. Yeah, you kissed him three hours ago and he’s just gonna repay you by booking a flight at three in the morning ? His friends aren’t the best either, really. If Jisung didn’t text you on when you’re brushing your teeth then you would have curled up in your blanket and dozed off.

2020 just arrived and everyone’s already gone wild with their schedules for trips and vacations. Even from the inside of your car, you can still hear people cursing at one another from across the street and be able to bathe in the smell of smoke and gasoline shit. You scrunch your nose at the particular ways someone people prefer to park their cars and carefully park yours neatly in the corner. It’s definitely gonna take some time when you go back to get your car.

Just when you frantically grab your keys and phone your purse before stepping out of the vehicle, you quickly realize that there’s absolutely no need for you to show up. Chan didn’t ask for it, Jisung and Changbin didn’t even ask for it, they just simply wanted to ‘notify’ you about their departure. But there’s still something that’s stirring inside your stomach, which makes it even harder to concentrate while driving.

So you’re determined to find out what that is before he leaves.

And that is also why you’ve chosen to push yourself through the sweaty lines of people queuing up for security, luggage check-in, shopping, and other boring paperwork. Everyone is obviously a bit ticked off since business in airport is slower than a sloth when it comes to holidays. If you were them, you would have just taken a nap on one of the spare benches while waiting for your flight. But the problem is : there’s no empty seats. There are literal people using their jackets as a mattress to sleep on the floor that janitors clean up one two many times with bleach. How tragic.

Besides, it’s been forever since you’ve come to the airport and now you feel like a fucking caveman, just watching the bustling, noisy life passing by with wide eyes. Meaning, you have no fucking idea where their gate is, but you do know that if you’re stubborn enough to have a five-minute staring contest with the map, you’ll figure it out. Hopefully.

After ten minutes of struggling with the map in your hands that’s getting kind of damped from your sweaty palms, you eventually spend another five minutes to race yourself through the packed airport to get to Gate 9 before the plane takes off.

You feel like you really should treat yourself afterwards since running through the airport brings you back to the marathon competition in middle school, the only difference is that it’s ten times more exhausting and time consuming. Changbin better gives you what ever the fuck of a healthy juice and aloe vera sheetmasks that he stores in packs of four inside his carry-on because you’re 80% sure that you look like a strip beef jerky that’s been staying in the oven for way too long.

[ 3:40a.m. ]

y/n | where tf are you guys ?

Just when you finish texting Changbin, you spot Chan in front of a vending machine, struggling with a wallet, and three other water bottles in his arms. And you start pondering how people still think that God is fair and rightful. How is he so fair when he can make Chan look like a freaking celebrity in a simple white dress shirt with black jeans while you’re looking like a raccoon in your denim jacket and leggings ? How is he so rightful when all it takes Chan is one single glance to send your heartbeat over the edges ? But whatever, fuck that. You’re just gonna be slightly salty about Chan looking better than you all the time. Slightly, that is.

Nonetheless, he makes you smile like no other. “Chan !” You call out his name like a maniac, running towards him with no hesitation. Because he’s it, he’s your endgame, and you want to know what it feels like to hold him for the last time before he’s gonna be seven thousand miles away from you for a good three hundred and sixty-five days.

Chan widens his eyes out of surprise when you crash yourself into his embrace, knocking the water bottles onto the tiled floor along with his wallet. Though, he soon regains conscious when his nostrils are filled with your scent, his arms shaking around your waist like second nature. He suddenly smiles brightly, and genuinely in a fairly long time. That alone is enough to prove that you’re the only one who’s capable of making him feel loved.

Chan buries his face into the crook of your neck. “Are you here to ask for my number ?”

“Right, that.” Your mouth forms an ‘o’ in realization. “And.. and… I- I love you, okay ?”

The grin on his face just can’t get any wider now or else his mouth is gonna crack and bleed tremendously. “What was that ?”

“I’m not saying that twice !”

“No, tell me !”

Truthfully, love isn’t just about the horrifying commitment or the metal band wrapped around your ring finger. Love is the persistency in accompanying, offering a shoulder for someone to lean on, so they can be free from reframing themselves in order to not be frowned upon by society. Meaning, they can let go of their pride during hard times, just bursting into tears like a child. The burden is shared and lifted slightly from their shoulders and that’s how love adds a bit of sweetness into reality.

In fact, movies are realistically based on real life, it’s just that everything’s filtered to be picture perfect because humans only see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear. In reality, there’s no certainty that someone will be there to pick you up nor life will leave you alone when you’ve had enough. You won’t even have the slightest chance to look upon the sky and let your tears pour back into your heart, crying is impossible. No, actually, the world is nice, but reality is disastrous so it is your birthright to be terrified of the smallest things. May time be against you, may reality kick you to the curb, may the whole world have their backs turn onto you, you can still hold onto a fragile beam of hope that the entire universe is on your side because you couldn’t have asked for a better person to walk into your life than Chan.

And to him, you’re gonna worth every mile between you both.

❖ p/s : pt.2 is out now!

#bang chan #stayshub #stray kids ot9 #stray kids blurbs #stray kids au #chan fic #stray kids fanfic #stay #kim woojin #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #kim seungmin #lee felix #yang jeongin #christopher bang #shin ryujin #itzy ryujin

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mind-of-a-hardstan · 4 years

Note

i’m curious; what are some of your fav fics for each member? - comet ☄️

Ohhh I like doing stuff like this. Just a little warning though, most of ‘em are probably going to be some older fics because I sadly haven’t been reading as much as I would like to and another warning is this list is probably going to be very long. Let’s get to it then :D

Kim Namjoon

Partners by @btssmutgalore is probably my ultimate all time favourite Namjoon fic on this site. I love the way the plot moves in a non-rushed way and I absolutely LOVE how the characters are written. Who doesn’t love a shy, nerdy Joonie bean?

Five Months by @ellieljade is a fic that I’ve read when I’ve just started on this site and it just stuck with me for some reason. The smut was *chef’s kiss* and then you pair that with bits and pieces of slipped up emotion and clear affection and you have a perfect fucking fanfic. It’s a total 180 of Partners because this one features dom Joonie with a dirty mouth ;)

Love Bytes by @stutterfly. Clumsy cute English professor Namjoonie silently pining while all of the other guys just won’t stop MEDDLING. Seriously I love how the relationship between Y/n and the boys were written and I love the interaction between Joon and Y/n even more.

Kim Seokjin

Candlyland by @honeymoonjin. I read this one a few days ago and LET ME TELL YOU it was fucking phenomenal. The plotline was amazing, the story itself was so creative and unique and I love how there were subtle hints to what was going on and then the BIG REVEAL in the end where you just went “how did i miss that?” And the cute relationship between Jinnie and Y/n, clearly a devoted married couple. Not to mention cute lil elf-babie bean Koo. Probably my new fav Jin fic hands down.

My Type by @floralseokjin. Listen, every Jin fic by her is top notch, but I think this one is my favourite because it was so soft but the smut was impeccable. It features nerdy, virgin Jinnie, which was something that I haven’t seen in a Jin fic before tbh? Very sweet and cute and a favourite since I read it.

Min Yoongi

Upgrade by @gukgalore is the ultimate Yoongi smut fic. I mean it.

Empress by @honeymoonjin. This fic was downright GENIUS. I’ve never seen the likes of it before and it left me wanting more, goddamnit. Empress Yoonji is a fucking experience and I’m 110% sure y/n thought the same.

Jung Hoseok

In The Car by @floralseokjin is another masterpiece. Mechanic Hoseok is a fucking concept. Mechanic Hoseok who also races and is funny and HAS A MANBUN I REPEAT HE HAS A MANBUN. Yeah needless to say this fic had me on the floor. Bonus: they fuck on the hood of his car ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Park Jimin

Sin City by @btssmutgalore should be read. By every single person. On this site. I fucking MEAN IT.

Kim Taehyung

Nude by @btssmutgalore was just really really cute and still smutty. I like the whole internal conflict going on and how it slowly progresses from “I done fucked up” to “eh, screw it I deserve to be happy” yaknow?

How to Get a Girl Off 101 by @imagination-of-a-melted-bitch was a fic I read before my writing blog even existed and screw it i still love it. It features y/n and her bf Taehyung who agrees to teach clueless Jeongguk how to fuck, honestly I low key love this concept.

Jeon Jeongguk

For Science by @boymeetsweevil was… quite the fucking experience let me tell you. I binged it in a day and then reread it the next day because I felt like I needed more. It was a shitstorm of pining, hot smut, angst and just Kook being generally bad at feelings. It features the whole gang being nerdy, weird and generally funny. A fantastic read, honestly.

Switch Lanes by @gukgalore was the fic that lead me to her account in the first place. I’m a sucker for healthy relationships being built on trust and friendships and then lead to lots o’ fluff and soft smut so if you are a sucker for that too then feast.

Monster by @btssmutgalore was also something I started reading before my writing account even existed and I’m still foaming at the mouth over it. Seriously Dee just has a certain way of stringing words together in a way that leaves you having to physically restrain yourself from reading for 3 days straight. (I speak from experience, I’m pretty sure my mom thought I was dead when I discovered her masterlist). Monster is no exception.

I’m going to be a bit cocky and put one of my own fics here too, because it’s my favourite fic that I’ve written and I’m very proud of it, so don’t judge me. Purple Mist & Candlelight is a Joonie witch au that features potion maker Joonie and a subtly pining y/n. I think it’s pretty good.

Now, I also read fics on AO3 that are mostly shipfics, and I’ll be adding them too because leaving them out would be a crime because they’re some of my favourites, so here goes:

Heard Them Talk by themarmalade is a fucking masterpiece. It features marten hybrid Joonie and bad boy, rugby player Jeongguk who is actually just a sof boi with a bunny daemon. I cannot even begin to explain the absolute adoration that I have for this fic. Dare I even say it is my ultimate favourite? (namkook)

Got a kiss (with your name on it) by marienadine is another favourite. Roommates Kookie and Tae are pining after each other and feelings come tumbling out when Kook asks Tae to teach him to kiss. The discriptions in this fanfic is impeccable and THIS is the level of writing I want to reach one day. It’s the perfect balance of funny and feelings and the way it’s written is what sets it apart from other fics. It’s truly a masterpiece. (taekook)

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter is a fic that I read the other day that features closeted bisexual Seokjinnie who doesn’t know how to deal with anything, bi, Yoongi who’s trying desperately to make a change, and somewhere along the lines they fall in love. It’s fluffy and angsty and I cried my heart out at some point. And then I cried my heart out at the end too. If you read this and you see the words “I heard you” in chapter 6, yeah that’s about where I fucking lost it and cried for like a year. (yoonjin)

Found you by Oh_Hey_Tae is a namjin witch au that just… it was so sweet? Joonie is a sad witch who finds lost things and Jinnie is a seer and it’s all just very sweet and sad a beautiful. (namjin)

Bunny Ears by goldenhearts was the CUTEST. Kookie drinks a faulty potion and spontaneously turns into a bunny every now and then. He has no choice but to go to his rival for help and most fluff I’ve ever read ensues. It’s the cutest, bestest, funniest fic I’ve read, Jinnie is unsufferable, Kookie even more so, and I loved every second of it. (jinkook)

Is It Me You’re Looking For? by MoonlitMemories was also such a good fic. I felt for Kook and I just wanted to hug him throughout the fic and Joonie is damn idiot but it’s sort of understandable and it was heart wrenching and perfect and beautiful and such a cute but sad twist on the usual soulmate au (namkook)

And I’m going to stop there because the post is getting too long. These are a few of my favourite things, most of ‘em are smut but not all. They’re all very good and written by amazing authors so enjoy!

#ask #comet #secret santa #fic rec #also #i spent almost a whole day making this list and then at some point i accidentally deleted it instead of saving it like i intended #and a bitch almost cried istg

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bangtanfancamp · 4 years

Text

✨This or That!✨

Hello loves, I was tagged literal ages ago by @curly-bangtan (who is such a sweet human btw! Thank you for the tag :’) it’s impossibly sweet of you) and am in the backseat while road trippin so I’ve finally got some free time to fill this out! I’m so excited !! I love these things !so without further ado🙃 Lessss gooooo

• slow burn or love at first sight

I guess to clarify, I love an instant spark of attraction and a long treacherous road to resolution- while also being painfully obvious that there is attraction and also while being overtly flirty but no one has the emotional motor skills to just be upfront about it already

•fake dating or secret dating

Oh, 1,000,000% fake dating. It is one of the single greatest regrets of my life that no one has ever asked me to be their fake date or gf. Because I would have been F A N T A S T I C at it. But I guess I’ll never get to live out that pretend to real slowburn in real life after all.... also, secret dating can feel really sucky and isolating so I don’t recommend.

•enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers

Oh god, must I really pick between my children? My whole life it was best friends to lovers. Now that I am currently dating the guy who was my best friend, I really melt over the fiery tension of enemies to lovers ... GOD! it’s so satisfying!!! But I think best friends to lovers still has to squeak by just by an ounce. (I’m a softy at heart, what can I say?)

•oh no! There’s only one bed or long distance with correspondence

Oh far and away, the one bed trope! No contest. I also deeply regret that I haven’t figured out how to make myself attractive enough for someone to try to pull this one over on me. *sigh* well, what can you do? .... also, did a long distance relationship for...6.5 years? And yeah, if you’re a romantic like me- it is dreadfully unfulfilling, let me tell you.

•Hurt/comfort or Amnesia

Mother freaking amnesia A L W A Y S !!! Heck yes! Are there amnesia fics??? 🤭I’ve never found one! But I absolutely love this trope in stories and movies. One of my all time favorites- which AGAIN- has not had the decency to actually come to fulfillment in my real life: Like why has park Jimin never showed up spontaneously at one of my doctors appointments trying to convince me that we’ve been best friends who were secretly in love with other since we were 14 and we finally just got engaged or married a month ago and his life is incomplete without me but he’ll patiently wait for me to love him in return again in my own time but in the meantime, he’ll love me in any and every little way he can until I fall for him again? Huh? Where is it! .... was that too specific😅?

•Fantasy au or modern au

no contest. Give me medieval maidens and dragons any day. I live in modern day. Lemme tell you- she ain’t that special.

•mutual pining or domestic bliss

cue Schmidt from new girl-“I can do this AWL day, son- AWLLL DAY!!” Yessssss!!! Mutual pining is my crack! Give it to me! Always! Gimme it! (Why can’t I have the things that I want!) okay this is just a Schmidt quote/rant post now. ..... I really want to love domestic bliss. And some of the writers who are excellent at it absolutely take my breath away at how beautifully they romanticize the every day. But outside of their writing, I have no scope of how to conjure that wonder up on my own. It is a skill I deeply lack. In real life, I just wind up feeling like the bliss is boring- gimme some pining! Some angst! Some tension!!! Even if I do love me some fluff. Someone once I told me that I was in love with the idea of someone being in love with me. Gotta say, he’s not wrong.

•canon compliant or fix it fic

Honestly, I can’t say I’ve read very many of either. But I do like to see how people flex their creativity.

•alternate universe or future fic

My favorite tv show of all time is Fringe (god bless you, JJ Abrams). Your girl LOVES alternate timelines, multiple universes, flashpoint, paradox, butterfly/ripple effect- all of it!! Dear god, yes! Give it to me! (Also, every time I have a crush or dream that doesn’t work out, I comfort myself with the thought that somewhere out there, there’s an alternate timeline version of me that is happily existing with said boy or flourishing in said dream endeavor. It’s a tremendous source of comfort).

Although, I must say, in the comic realm, alternate universes can sometimes frustrate me- like genuinely, could we not just make the alpha timeline the most incredible one? Instead of the best relationships and plot threads never being actual canon?! Can we get it together??? Or are alternate timelines just the comic industry’s way of writing their own fix it fics, generations after the original protagonist has been painted into a corner. Also, how hard must that be? To write endlessly for the same character for 60+ years? We write one fic or a couple books for the same character... could you IMAGINE having to supply 60 years worth of consistent weekly or monthly context!!! Wild

•one shot or multi chapter

I prefer multi chapter because I prefer getting engrossed in an entire work/world. Usually I am left wanting with a well written one shot, because they’ve made it so real that I can’t stand not having more- so my greedy butt loves the feast of multi chapter so I can have as many delicious moments and details with these characters as possible.

I do however deeply admire the skill and brevity it takes to made a succinct one shot. @underthejoon and @kpopfanfictrash are both brilliant as heck at that. And it is admirable as all get out.

•kid fic or road trip fic

honestly, considering how much I swoon over men who are good with children in real life, and how much I look forward to being both pregnant and a mom one day, I really never get into kid or pregnancy fics. I just don’t? Don’t know why. But a road trip!???? Oh heck yes!!! 👏🏽Where 👏🏽do 👏🏽I 👏🏽sign 👏🏽up!!???👏🏽

•reincarnation or character death

Oh absolutely reincarnation. I love that. I blame sailor moon for that.....But also, I think it’s just very in line with my love of alternate universes and timelines. I love how everything is connected/weaves together and feels predestined in the best way. I’m a complete sucker for it

•arranged marriage or accidental marriage

Like @curly-bangtan I legit had no clue accidental marriage was a thing? Unless you count being drunk at Vegas and waking up with a ring or we’re on some Jacob and Leah/Rachel level ish (which is really and truly the WILDEST™️ story ever ya’ll) ..... but I love a good arranged marriage scenario. The tension/push pull and inevitable relenting is so fun. But will say though, why the heck do women always fight it? Like there’s literally a whole Kim taehyung or Kim Namjoon offering to voluntarily love you and you wanna whine about it???!?! How dare you

•high school romance or Middle Aged romance

This, again, one is a pretty firm, resolute one for me. I’ll take high school. I’ve always felt a little oddly uncomfortable with more mature™️ romance stories? Not sure why. But I think the really beautiful ones always hark back to the beauty of their feelings being refreshing like the innocence of their first love. I know I personally can over glorify youth, but I love coming of age romance (high school, college, twenties) and no one can stop me!!!! I will say though, I have a secret soft spot for the niche of story where people have loved the same person since they were young and the timing just never works out but they finally find each other when they’re older. (One day is like that, and film or movie, it will absolutely rip your heart out-my god, it’s beautiful)

•Time travel or isolated together

These are both freaking AMAZING! But if anything has been established in this post, I think it’s my deep love of alternate timeline/reincarnation/time travel stories. I think they’re all from the same cloth. I adore them (I just haven’t written one because I’m not sure I could do the subtlety of it any justice.) maybe one day. My favorite writers are rumored to have the same Myers’s Briggs type as me so maybe I too could someday have a fraction of their world building skill.

I 100% love both of these so neither is a loser. But give me isolated together AND one bed in the same fic???? Speakers blown

•neighbors or roommates

I have never had the pleasure of having an attractive neighbor, though I often pined for it. (I have a bomb idea for a neighbor Hobi fic though) I did have a cute neighborhood boy who occasionally cut the grass for us in high school. But that doesn’t really count.... anyway! I LOVE the idea of being roommates with an attractive boy!!! Like holy guac, can I please????? Cocktailing this trope makes me swoon harder than none other- best friends to lovers + roommates? Yes. Enemies to lovers + roommates? Holy heck. Soulmate au + roomates???? Hold my sweet tea. MUTUAL PINING AND ROOMATES!!!! Pregnant. Fantasy/magic au+ mutual pining + best friends to lovers + soulmate au + reincarnation + roommate au!?!?!?!! frickin dead in the streets, homie.

I cannot say enough how much I enjoy roomate au. In a serious conversation, I once legitimately told my current boyfriend that the idea of marriage freaks me out- but the idea of being best friend roomates with sexual tension sounds like a dream come true. God help me.

•sci fi or magic au

I love sci fi. Deeply. But I will never love logic more than magic. Ever. (All my infp’s! come join me in the comments. 🙈)

•body swap or gender bend

Body swap has always deeply intrigued me. Especially in film. But I’ve never seen it in a fic. I’ve always wanted somebody to be able to switch into my body to feel physically, mentally and emotionally like i do. The deepest level of empathy & jean grey telepathy if you ask me, even if the trope is generally used for comedy. But the idea of switching into a dudes body and having to deal with their anatomy low key freaks me the eff out. If I got stuck in jungkooks body, I don’t think I’d pee or shower for a week 🙈 sorry everybody. I was really sheltered ok? Please don’t come for me. Lol...... also, have never seen a gender bend fic. Not sure how that would work. Not my favorite idea.

•angst or crack

Angst is my crack.

Honestly though, if it’s well written, it doesn’t feel ‘angsty’- cuz that means whiny or clunky to me. Well written ‘angst’ just feels emotionally compelling, I think. My writing weirdly leans toward what I hope is real angst (I e solid, genuine conflict and not petulance), but when I seek out a read, I look for crack honestly.

• apocalyptic or mundane

I offer you one better- a love story of the beauty of the mundane amidst the apocalyptic.

*mic drop*

Seriously though, the setting provides enough tension usually. Especially if it’s zombie apocalyptic. Just let jungkook’s fingers delicately trace my palm and smile, sweet and lopsided at me in the candle light, while we hide away in our little bomb shelter that I’ve turned into a jungle garden to bring life into this wasteland a la secret life of arrietty. sigh. Maybe I need to write this....

My gosh!!! We made it to the end! That was so much fun! Thank you for tagging me, sweetness!💕✨ 🙂

I’ll add a tag list shortly- @laurelevermore @lamourche @bts-fantasy @urlocalkpoptrash @thedreaming-poet @kimcheeeeeeeeee @hayjeon @outrotearot7 @lorengarcia-yut @bts-luvvv @chicpalestinian @flyingchixenwing @glodenclosetau @space-mermaid-in-love @thiccasswonhoruinedmylife @minminslittlemonster

Copy and paste if you can. Or if you’re dealing with a piece of technological antiquity like me and it won’t let you, then screen record/screenshot it and pop back and forth between the tabs 😅(also Thanks for dealing with the completely unnecessary treatise I added beneath every bullet point. It was just so much for fun to explain WHY I chose each one than to just say yes/no. I’ve said it before, written brevity is just not my strong suit.)

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smuttymess · 4 years

Text

bts compatibility reading | for kye

sign: capricorn sun | capricorn moon | capricorn rising

lover: min yoongi | soulmate: kim namjoon

This reading is for Kye @teaandthegalaxy. Kye is an ARMY with a serious Bangtan problem given that she ults Seokjin but is wrecked by Hobi…and Jungkook and Namjoon. I feel your pain bb. You’re my first triple sign (all three elements in Capricorn) so please enjoy! I look forward to hopefully meeting you post quarantine <3

Triple Capricorn, triple threat! With your sun, moon and rising sign in Capricorn, you fully embody all of the best and worst qualities of the ram. An earth sign through and through, you are the most grounded and traditional of the entire Zodiac, known for your unwavering honor, diligence, integrity, and strong work ethic. There is nothing that you cannot achieve once you put your mind to it, and you have the track record of accomplishments and checked boxes to prove it. You know better than anyone how to identify a goal and put the right steps in order and follow them through with unwavering commitment. All about growth, second place is not in your vocabulary.

Given your high caliber, it’s no surprise that you have friends in high places, including some in the art world who bring you to upscale events around the world. This is how you happen to be introduced to Yoongi, who is performing a secret set for an intimate crowd. Despite his celebrity, Yoongi is incredibly low-key and reserved, which is not your usual type - you tend to like the guy that wears power on his sleeve for all to see. And yet, after watching him perform, witnessing firsthand the way in which his passion and charisma shine through with all eyes on him, you grow intrigued and eager to get to know him better. Never one to shy away from what you want, you immediately approach him after the set and lay on your cool charm before slipping him your phone number and cooly making your exit. You can practically feel his eyes shift under his hat from the piece of paper to your ass as you saunter back to your table.

Neither you or Yoongi are typically ones to rush the physical, taking your time in getting to know each other’s internal worlds, which you find are much more compatible than you initially imagined. Despite his more withdrawn, tough rapper persona, you soon find that you are both hopeless romantics at the core. You have both been hurt before, and yet he is more than willing to chip away at the protection you’ve built around yourself. When Yoongi invites you to his studio to help him with a song, you learn there is even more than what meets the eye. Over the next few months, you spent countless late nights and early mornings intertwined, enjoying the softness and loving companionship he provides. While he’s happy to talk work, he’s much more interested in escapism after a long day. Yoongi is all about fantasy and role play, allowing you to let down your walls and give him the control. In the hours spent with your hands tied to the bedpost and Yoongi in between your legs, it is one of the rare times that you are able to completely forget about your checklist and to-dos.

Trouble comes when you you cannot fully allow yourself to lose control with him to the level that he would like. In time, once the allure of staying in bed all afternoon loses its luster, his highly romantic and sensitive nature becomes less of a turn on and more of an imposition. He does not work in the traditional sense, only carving out time for his tasks when he sees fit. This does not work for you as someone who sets schedules and sticks to them without fail, and sees anything less as irresponsible. While he respects your drive, he does not do well with feeling controlled or bossed around, which you are prone to do. While you two eventually go your separate ways, you cannot deny the temptation for the occasional fuck here and there - his head game is unparalleled after all. Try as you might to lose yourself in work, you can’t forget how his tongue felt on your body, expertly working to give you some of the longest, most intense orgasms of your life. After much deliberating and almost-sent texts, you are smart enough to recognize it would do more harm than good to reach out to the emotional fish.

Not only do you want to excel, you want to be the best, stopping at nothing to reach the next level of success. This means you need a partner who is truly on your level - equally ambitious, creative and methodological in achieving what they desire. Above all else, you desire stability, and a true partner who wants to conquer the world with you. When you see Namjoon accepting one of his many awards for his cultural contributions and philanthropic work at a gala, you know that this is a man with all of those qualities - and you must have him.

Poor Namjoon doesn’t have a chance once you set your sights on him with your signature Capricorn confidence and directness, boldly suggesting a potential investment opportunity with your company. That strong, driven leader is almost turned to mush at the sight of such a clearly dominant woman, and he barely lets a full 24 hours before setting up a lunch meeting in his busy schedule. He is gorgeous, and that immediate attraction has you buzzing as you sit with him and he moves past business talk to probe you further. A true Virgo, there is nothing superficial about Namjoon - he is deliberate in all that he does and is incredibly perceptive, doing his best to dissect you and figure out what makes you tick. Instinctively, he gravitates towards your very evident cerebral, wise and thoughtful nature. You soon bond over your shared sensibility, focus and curiosity as earth signs which you both find extremely attractive in a world filled with frivolity and inauthenticity. The mental and physical connection is equally high, and its not long before your eyes fall from his beautiful lips to the top button of his dress shirt while you imagine what’s underneath. It becomes clear that this will not be a business relationship, which of course was always your intention. And while you’re ready to ride him right then and there at the table, you both wait, knowing full well the value of letting things build and not acting on impulsion.

In the early stages of the relationship, you two find comfort in being your truest selves together, shedding your signature hard outside armor and over time reaching mutual acceptance and respect for exactly who you are as individuals. He is prone to worry as a typical Virgo, and you are able to hear him and help solve his problems. People often perceive him as too introverted, reserved and cold in his business-first demeanor. You are are able to appreciate his leader persona, knowing that beneath the surface lies a highly compassionate, empathetic softie. It is challenging for you to find someone you are both romantically and sexually attracted to. With your level of discipline and fondness for control, you can be incredibly stubborn and often unwilling to compromise and this is especially true with picking serious partners. Namjoon is one of the few people that can get you out of your rigid ways and into a more mindful present, allowing you to let go and see the world in new, profound ways.

This of course extends into your sex life, where he brings all of his knowledge and curiosity into the bedroom. When you do finally fuck Namjoon after weeks of agonizing and teasing via text, you can reveal your deeply sensual side. He wants to know every inch of you, mastering exactly where to touch you to send shockwaves through your body. And you know how to draw out sessions with him, edging him into a frenzied, submissive state as you ride him on the couch or in his office. Given your two competitive personalities, expect lots of makeup sex after arguments where you both refuse to admit defeat, culminating with him playfully hoisting you up against a wall, fucking the stubbornness right out of you.

You and Namjoon are a fantastic match given your appreciation and dedication of high-quality, high-value relationships and a commitment to the ones you love. Being two earth signs in a relationship, you both understand the importance of practicality and pragmatism in building the life you desire - no shortcuts her! As a result, you are both constantly working with each other to calibrate your next steps. While your relationship can at times feel like a business partnership when you are both in the zone - him on his next album and you on your various projects that take you away from each other for days at a time - you rest assured knowing that your love for each other is unwavering and that when you reunite you will more than make up for all that time apart. There is no facade here as you are both no-nonsense, knowing full well how to balance business and love while fully trusting in each other to make the right decisions. You are a true power couple - Namjoon working primarily in the spotlight while you behind the scenes - a that dynamic works well for you as you build a life together that provides you with mutual respect, stability, power, devotion and love.

#bts #bts astrology #bangtan #bangtan astrology #bangtan fic #fiction #horoscope #astrology #astrology readings #kim namjoon #min yoongi #virgo #pisces #capricorn

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anamericanbisexual · 5 years

Note

... please don’t ship real people

Ok, I’m sorry this answer got so long, but I think it’s important for me to answer this anon thoughtfully. I just made a Dan and Phil (phan) post that blew up (thank you everyone!) and I also just gained several new subscribers, so I appreciate this ask as it gives me a chance to address this understandable concern! I apologize for not being clear about this in my other post, but that post was more about teaching YouTube history to the “youngins” and celebrating Phil’s kindness than anything else. So. Anon. I appreciate your concern. Let me be clear. I don’t ship real people...not anymore.

Like I said in my post, at the ripe old age of 25, I am a YouTube grandma, and when I first started watching Dan and Phil’s videos, I was in high school (and, it is important to note, in a VERY strict and conservative environment that was extremely anti-LGBTQ+.) As I did with everything I even vaguely enjoyed, I dove head-first into the fandom, which was just beginning to be a bustling community. And here’s the thing, as bad as it was, shipping Dan and Phil was just a thing that everybody in my section of the phandom did back then. Some people took it too far and brought Dan and Phil themselves into it, and the rest of us heavily condemned that, but low-key shipping was just...normalized. And I started to find myself thinking, “Huh, these guys are nice. And people are pretty sure they’re not straight. Maybe not all gay people are bad!” There really wasn’t a lot of drama about shipping (at least not that I interacted with) until 2012, so we were dumb and didn’t think about the ramifications of our actions.

If you look in the notes on my other post, margorothspiegelmanthegreat did a pretty good job breaking down what it was like to be in the phandom in 2012. It got dark. A lot of us were young and stupid, and we unfortunately had to learn the hard way that our actions had consequences. “Unfortunately” is, I think, not a strong enough word to describe what Dan went through back then. Putting myself in his place now, I can’t imagine the type of mental state having your own “fans” trying to out you would put a person in. He described it in his video as PTSD, and looking back on that era now, that’s definitely an accurate description.

I would love to say that post-2012, I disavowed the shipping part of the phandom, but that just wouldn’t be true. I had never interacted with the aggressive, unkind part of the phandom, so it was easy for me to “other” the people that Dan was mad at. My chill part of the phandom went underground, and I stayed a part of it. Now, looking back, I can understand that I stayed because I was searching desperately for acceptance. I was still silently and terrifyingly coming to terms with my own sexuality, something I had been exploring specifically through the internet, fandoms, and fanfiction. (I didn’t even know that there were more sexualities than “gay” and “straight” until I was 19! Like, I literally didn’t know that being bisexual was an option!) Something that we don’t talk enough about is the fact that A LOT of Dan and Phil’s old-school fans grew up to come out as LGBTQ+, mostly becaus we made safe spaces for each other around Dan and Phil, where we as the fans could talk about and explore our sexualities in an encouraging environment. It’s a great tragedy that while we were opening the closet doors for ourselves and each other, we were actually holding the closet door shut on the very people we so desperately wanted to come out.

So, do I ship Dan and Phil now? ABSOLUTELY NOT. As you said, anon, they are real people, and, while they have been SO GOOD TO US THIS MONTH (my high school self can hardly believe it), their personal lives are none of our business. I have been very careful in my most recent posts to only use language that reflects this. “Soulmates” is a word Dan used to describe them, so I feel comfortable using that one myself. Dan has also confirmed that they were “obviously more than friends”, at least when they first met in 2009, so I felt that it was appropriate to allude to that in my post as well. I used the word “love”, only because it’s a word I feel fits them in a platonic sense or a romantic one, and it leaves room for the vagueness that Dan asked their current relationship to be given.

I wouldn’t make this whole long-ass post if I wasn’t a big believer in owning and learning from your own mistakes. I’m (hopefully!) older and more mature now than I was back then, and I now understand my own motivations better, but I also know why the things I did were wrong and hurtful. I’m still in the phandom. Unlike a lot of the older phans, I never left or moved on, I just kind of learned from my mistakes and adapted as I grew up. Honestly, until Dan talked about his experiences in his coming out video, I think a lot of the new shippers just shipped Phan for the same reasons I used to, they were young and they didn’t know the full history of how the shipping had affected Dan specifically. Education is important, and if my mistakes can keep other people from making their own, then I’m willing to own up to them.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading this whole thing. I love you. Drink water. Be kind.

#phan #dan and phil #asks #anon #let’s deal with our past mistakes like mature adults please #amazingphil #dan howell #shipping #the phandom discourse tm

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hotandcoldaf · 5 years

Text

My Heart on Your Sleeve, Chapter 2

Rating: PG

Characters/Pairings: Shiro/Ulaz, Adam/Shiro

Summary: For most people, having a soulmate simplifies things. For Shiro, it makes things much, much more complicated. In this chapter, Shiro is introduced to the Blade of Marmora.

Notes: The way soulmarks work in this AU was inspired by this post.

EDIT: I forgot that HTML doesn’t work on tumblr; this has been corrected. MY BAD.

AO3 Link

<- Previous Chapter | Beginning | Next Chapter ->

---

A warm, hearty scent greeted Shiro as he entered the apartment he shared with Adam. He knew that smell. That was the stew Adam always made when he was mad about something. He'd explained it once, the specifics of how it helped calm him down, but Shiro hadn't really gotten it. Cooking was always so stressful for him that it was hard to understand what made it relaxing for Adam. But somehow it was, and it was rare that Adam stayed mad once he'd made his stew. Which was good, because Adam had definitely been very angry with him when they last spoke earlier that day.

With a smile, Shiro made his way into the kitchen, and sure enough, there was Adam, stirring a large pot, with his uniform jacket off and his sleeves pushed up. Shiro used to love seeing Adam's soulmark, seeing the symbols on his arm and being able to immediately place how they related to him and his accomplishments, such a contrast to the inscrutable mysteries that made up his own markings. His diagnosis had changed that. Noticing new additions to Adam's soulmark had always been exciting before then, but finding a ring of what looked like necrotic tissue around Adam's arm that night had been almost as devastating as the diagnosis itself.

Shiro didn't know how Adam could stand to even look at it, even if he knew it was only cosmetic and not actually hurting him in any way. Personally, he hated the sight of it. It and everything it represented. Sudden, life-changing events were often represented in soulmarks by rings like that, cutting off everything that came before from everything that came after, and the ring on Adam's arm was a particularly ugly reminder that his life was over.

Shiro's smile faltered at the sight of it, but he approached Adam anyway, slipping his arms around his waist and placing his chin on Adam's shoulder.

"It smells great," he said.

Adam shrugged him off and Shiro pulled away.

"You're still mad?" he asked. If the stew hadn't worked, then this was worse than he'd realized.

"Yes, I'm still mad," Adam answered with a huff, keeping his gaze fixed on the pot instead of Shiro.

Shiro huffed back. "Why can't you understand how important this is to me?"

"I understand just fine. You're the one who doesn't get it." Adam used his spoon to push some vegetables down into the broth with what Shiro was sure was far more force than necessary. "Not that I expect you to, at this point. You're going to go no matter what I say. Your soulmark is proof of that."

Shiro wasn't sure how to respond to that at first. Was that what this was all about? It was true that the Kerberos mission would be his last, best chance to find his soulmate, and Shiro would be lying if he said that fact hadn't occurred to him, but that wasn't why he was so determined to stay on the mission despite his diagnosis, and he'd thought Adam understood that. Apparently, though, he needed to be reminded.

"Adam. Look at me."

With a sigh, Adam set his spoon down and finally turned to face Shiro. He had such a dour look on his face, Shiro hated it. Adam always used to smile so much and so brightly, but those smiles had gotten rarer and rarer since Shiro's diagnosis. Shiro missed them. He placed his hands firmly on Adam's shoulders and hoped his face made it clear how sincerely he meant what he was about to say.

"When I get back from Kerberos, marry me." Adam's eyes went wide with shock, but Shiro pressed on. "I was going to wait until after the mission to ask, but you need to hear this now. I'm not doing this to find my soulmate. It doesn't matter who I meet out there, I swear, I'm not going to throw away what we have for him."

Adam's shocked expression twisted into something affronted and furious, a face Shiro had never seen him make before, and he felt his stomach drop before Adam even spoke.

"Is that what you think this is about? You think I don't trust you?" He shoved Shiro's hands off of his shoulders and took a step backward.

"You brought it up first!" Shiro insisted, stepping forward to close the gap.

"Because it proves you're going to leave," Adam said, his voice low and strained. "If you weren't going to meet your soulmate out there, he wouldn't be your soulmate. That doesn't mean I'm worried about you falling in love with him."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is you're going to leave, Takashi! You're going to leave and you're not going to come back and I'm not going to wait for you." Adam took another step backwards and turned away from Shiro. "I can't do it."

Seeing Adam turn his back on him made Shiro's chest ache, and he put his hand on Adam's shoulder, gently pulling to try and direct him back towards him. "Adam, it's going to be okay. I'll come back to you. I promise."

Adam didn't budge, and after a moment, he let out a long sigh. "I wish I could believe you."

"Adam--" Shiro started, but Adam interrupted him by pushing his hand off his shoulder.

"Just--go away, okay? I want to be alone for a while. I'll come tell you when dinner's ready."

Defeated, Shiro backed out of the kitchen in silence, and when he turned around, suddenly the apartment was dark, illuminated only faintly by distant purple lights. He quickly turned back towards the kitchen, but it was gone, and Adam was nowhere to be seen.

"Adam!" he called out, desperate for an answer.

"Shiro," answered a calm and even voice right behind him, but it wasn't Adam's.

Shiro awoke with a start and quickly pushed himself up into a seated position, nearly colliding with the alien crouched over him along the way. Ulaz. Right. His soulmate. After all these years, finally, in the flesh. Shiro couldn't say what, exactly, he'd been expecting, but it didn't feel like this was it. This tall, pale alien, all sharp angles and long limbs, with his blank yellow eyes and short fur, he was.... He wasn't unattractive, Shiro supposed, but he couldn't help but feel vaguely disappointed. He'd been expecting some kind of spark, he guessed, some sort of immediate attraction, something comparable to how he felt about Adam, but as grateful as he felt towards Ulaz for freeing him, as excited as he was to finally have some answers about his soulmark, it didn't feel anything like love, and it didn't do anything to stop that vague unfulfilled feeling that had always haunted him.

What he definitely hadn't been expecting was having to explain how soulmates worked to his soulmate. The possibility that it wouldn't be mutual, sure, he knew very well that that could happen, but for his soulmate to not have any soulmark, not even any concept of one, that just seemed absurd, like some kind of cosmic joke at his expense. A deserved one, after everything he'd put Adam through, he supposed. It looked like Adam had been right and he wouldn't be going back to Earth, after all. He could only hope Adam would understand if he knew the reason why.

"How long was I out?" he asked Ulaz.

"Not very long. I would have woken you sooner if I had noticed."

"Are we almost there?"

Ulaz nodded and stood up before moving towards the front of the ship. "We have arrived."

Shiro followed closely in his wake, and when he got close enough to make out the image on the viewscreen, his breath caught in his throat. Pictured there was a massive blue star, flanked by a pair of twin black holes. They pulled on the star in opposing directions, creating a swirling vortex of blue light. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before, a sight beyond his wildest imagination.

"It's beautiful," he whispered in awe. Ulaz glanced at him, and then glanced at the screen as he sat in the pilot's seat.

"I suppose it is," he said absently as he began to type on the keypad. Shiro leaned over his shoulder to take a closer look, but he couldn't make any sense of the alien text, so his interest soon shifted back to the star ahead. He was the first and only human to ever see anything like this in person, it occurred to him, and a thought that would once have brought him great joy now made his chest feel tight. Sam and Matt should be seeing this, too. He didn't know where they were right now. Ulaz had told him that he hadn't seen them. He didn't even know if they were still alive. He hoped they were, as hard as he possibly could, but he had no way of knowing. It was a terrible feeling.

"We are in luck," Ulaz announced. "The way will be open in a few doboshes."

Shiro wasn't sure what a dobosh was, but that wasn't the part of the announcement that most caught his attention. "We're going in there? That's a blue supergiant. It doesn't get much hotter than that. Can this ship stand up to that kind of heat?"

"It should," Ulaz answered.

"Should?"

"That is why we have to wait. It is only safe to approach the base between solar flares."

It was a hell of a security system, he had to admit. "Okay. How long is a dobosh?"

"50 ticks."

"Aaaaand how long is a tick?"

With a few key presses, Ulaz brought up a new window in the view screen. Even though Shiro couldn't read the alien numbers, it was clearly a countdown of some sort. "This is how long we have left until the way opens," Ulaz explained. He pointed at the numbers on the far right. "These are ticks."

Shiro intently watched the steadily changing numbers. It looked like a tick was slightly longer than a second, and, from the pattern of when the numbers changed, it looked like Galra also counted in base-10, which was a relief. He studied the countdown carefully, trying to commit the shape of the digits to memory. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.

"It's time," Ulaz said when the countdown completed, and he pushed the ship forward. Shiro didn't dare speak a word on the trip in, but despite his concerns, their ship endured the heat and they reached their destination without issue. The base was built into an asteroid tucked in close to the star, and Ulaz guided their ship carefully into a hangar that closed swiftly behind them. Shiro followed him out of the ship and took in the view of the base before he climbed down. It seemed architecturally similar to the Galra ships he'd been on before, what little he'd seen of them, but the lighting here was a cooler, bluer shade than the harsh, redder purple that lit the Galra ships.

More interesting than the architecture, though, was the people. At least, Shiro assumed they were people and not like the robots he'd encountered on the Galra ship. They didn't have any obvious joints like the robots, but they were all wearing eerie faceless masks and none of them spoke or moved as he and Ulaz left the ship. Ulaz didn't pay them much mind as he strode confidently through the hangar, and Shiro made sure to stay close on his heels. The last thing he wanted was to get lost alone in an unfamiliar place, and Ulaz clearly knew exactly where he was going. He took them through winding hallways and down an elevator, where they reached an austere, open room. In the air above them hovered a holographic symbol that matched the one on Ulaz's blade, and at the end of the room was a raised dais.

There were two people in the room already. One, standing off to the side, was easily twice as large as any other alien Shiro had seen yet. The other, standing at military ease on the dais, was probably the Blade of Marmora's leader, given his position and the sash that decorated his uniform. Shiro wondered if he should bow or salute or something, but Ulaz made no such movements, so he didn't. He kind of wished he was wearing something more presentable than the tattered slave uniform he'd been forced into, though.

"Kolivan," Ulaz said in greeting.

"Ulaz," the leader replied. "You abandoned your mission and brought a stranger to our headquarters. Explain yourself."

"I had no choice. My cover was irreparably compromised. This is Shiro. His species has a unique trait that causes them to manifest markings that describe a specific person. In his case, they describe me."

"Show me," Kolivan ordered.

"Excuse me?" Shiro blurted out. Ulaz turned to stare at him, and Shiro quickly realized he would have to actually explain his offense. "Soulmarks are usually kept secret. I can't show it to just anyone. It's considered a violation of your privacy." It wasn't unheard of for couples to agree to stop covering their soulmarks once they'd found each order, but that option had never been on the table for Shiro. If he'd been mutual with Adam, maybe, but that wasn't the case, so he'd never really considered it. He'd never had the luxury.

"I am far less concerned about Kolivan seeing it than I am about all the people who have seen it already," Ulaz said flatly.

It was a fair point, honestly. If Ulaz trusted these people, then he didn't really have a reason to refuse to show his soulmark. Even if it did go against his most heavily ingrained habits. "Fine," Shiro grumbled, and reached for his sleeve, but Ulaz interrupted him.

"The back will be a more effective demonstration," he said. Right. The sword. Of course. Well, at least that freed Shiro from the burden of fighting off the impulse to avoid eye contact. He pulled off the ratty shirt he'd be given, if it could even be called that, and turned around so Ulaz could handle however it was that the undersuit fastened.

The time that passed while the Blades looked at his soulmark felt like an eternity to Shiro, as he stared at the wall and willed himself not to shiver under the combined force of having his skin exposed to the cold air and the eerie feeling of unseen gazes on his back. In truth, it couldn't have been more than a few seconds before the suit was closed again and Shiro was free to turn around again and pull his shirt back on.

"His other markings provide enough information to connect him to me even from just the information the Empire possesses. I was already under suspicion when I took Shiro and fled," Ulaz explained. Shiro couldn't see any of Kolivan's face through his mask, but he didn't have to to know the Blade's leader wasn't happy about the situation.

"You have compromised the security of our base by bringing him here," the massive Blade in the corner growled, and Shiro nearly jumped out of his skin. Despite the Galra's considerable size, he'd almost forgotten he was there.

"It would have been no safer to leave him with the Empire," Ulaz retorted.

"Be that as it may, you should not have brought him here," Kolivan said. "He needs to go back where he came from."

"I'm not going home," Shiro interjected without hesitation. All three of the Galra in the room turned to look at him, but he refused to back down. "My crew is still in captivity. I can't go back without them. Even if they weren't, I can't turn my back on the rest of the Empire's victims. Let me help you. I'll do whatever you need me to do."

"Unfortunately for you, we do not need you for anything," Kolivan answered.

"We need him to stay out of the Empire's grasp," Ulaz said. "The most effective way to ensure that is to keep him here where we can monitor him."

The massive Galra suddenly spoke up again. "The most effective way would be to kill him."

"We will not be doing that," Kolivan answered before Shiro could even fully register what was just suggested, though that still only did so much to quell the unease he felt once it sunk in. It wasn't the sort of comment that inspired feelings of safety, to say the least. Kolivan continued without much pause, "Antok, find a room for him to stay in for now. I have more to discuss with Ulaz."

"Hold on, you can't cut me out of this conversation," Shiro protested.

"It does not concern you," Kolivan said, and before Shiro could protest further, the massive Blade--Antok, apparently--grabbed him by the arm and hauled him off. Shiro couldn't say he was thrilled to be placed in the care of someone who had only just suggested murdering him, but he didn't really have a choice but to trust that Antok would follow his leader's orders. At least he let go of his arm once they were in the elevator. Shiro rubbed his shoulder and eyed the Galra up. He didn't feel good about his chances if Antok decided it'd be best to kill him after all. It made him wish he hadn't left that gun on the ship, but he seriously doubted that Antok would make a detour for it if he asked.

Antok didn't seem likely to make any sort of detour at all. After leaving the elevator, he went straight to a terminal, and once he was done with it, he continued walking down the hallway, all without so much as a word or glance in Shiro's direction. He walked quickly, and Shiro had to hustle just to keep pace with him. Which was still preferable to being dragged or carried, but Shiro was getting pretty tired of being even metaphorically dragged around without much explanation. Eventually, Antok stopped at a door and opened it.

"Here," he announced, as he stepped away from the doorway. Cautiously, Shiro entered the room.

The door shut behind him.

Immediately, he spun around and hit the button to reopen it. It slid back open, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Poking his head out into the hallway confirmed that Antok was walking back in the direction they'd come from, and Shiro decided to let him go. He'd paid close attention to the path they were taking on the way here, and he was confident that he could find his way back to where they'd spoken to Kolivan or the hangar on his own. For now, he wanted to take stock of his new quarters.

It was a small room, scarcely large enough for the single bed it contained. At first, Shiro was a little surprised that such a utilitarian room had such a large bed in it, until he realized that while two humans could comfortably fit on it, two Galra definitely wouldn't. A Galra and a human might both fit, but Shiro quickly pushed that thought from his mind. That wasn't going to happen.

There was a closet, as well, but it was empty. Which was a shame, because Shiro could have really used a change of clothes, but he supposed that even if there were any clothes, they probably wouldn't fit him. He didn't see anything else to check, so he sat down on the edge of the bed and began stretching his hand. The Galra had taken his electro-stimulator bracelet when they captured him, and his medicine was still back in the ship on Kerberos. These stretches couldn't do much to offset the progression of his disease, but right now, they were all he had. He needed to hide his disease from the Blade as long as possible. They were already so resistant to the idea of him being useful to them, if they found out he was sick, too.... He couldn't afford that. He couldn't let them keep him out of the fight. He had to prove himself.

He couldn't do that staying here. No one had told him to stay put, so he decided to go do something productive instead. A base like this was sure to have a shooting range he could practice at, he just needed to go recover his gun and then find someone he could ask for directions. He didn't cross paths with anyone on the way to the elevator, but on the way up, the elevator stopped, and Ulaz boarded it. He seemed as surprised to see Shiro as Shiro was to see him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and when Shiro explained, he nodded. "I will show you the way."

"Thank you," Shiro said. "How was your talk with Kolivan?"

Ulaz considered this question for a moment before answering. "It was interesting. I have much to think about."

Shiro wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Maybe it was neither? But before he could ask, the elevator arrived at the hangar, and Ulaz exited it without hesitation. Once Shiro recovered his gun from the ship, they returned to the elevator and got off on a different floor than the one that held Shiro's new quarters. Ulaz kept a brisk pace, leaving Shiro to work to keep up once again, and he made no attempts at starting a conversation. It made Shiro wonder a bit, if he was being actively shunned or if Galra on the whole simply weren't much for conversation. Either way, it was tiring, and Shiro wanted to talk, especially with Ulaz. There was so much he wanted to ask Ulaz, but he couldn't, not yet, not without freaking him out. But he could at least get him used to the idea of conversations with him.

"How long have you been working for the Blade of Marmora?" he asked.

Ulaz looked back at him with what might have been confusion? His expression was hard to read. But he did give Shiro an answer. "From the beginning. I am one of the Blade's founding members."

"How long have you been operating?"

"We have been working against Zarkon's rule for 7,000 years."

Ulaz had told him that he was around 11,000 years old, so that meant he'd been working for the Blade for most of his life. He'd known from the size of the sword on his soulmark that it represented something of great importance--it took up more space than most people's entire soulmarks, after all--but this new context managed to make it seem undersized. 7,000 years. He couldn't even imagine. That was longer than the whole of known human history, he was pretty sure. It definitely meant that Ulaz had been fighting this war since before Shiro's ancestors had even set foot on Japan's shores, much less on America's. Shiro was confident in his choice to join the cause, but he was suddenly keenly aware of all the context he was missing.

"Can you tell me more about the Empire's history and the rebellion?"

"It is a long story. I would not finish before we reached the shooting range."

Ulaz said more after that, but it didn't fully register with Shiro, who was suddenly distracted by the distinct feeling of his hand cramping up and the loud clatter of his gun hitting the floor. Oh no. Not an attack. Not right now. Not in front of Ulaz. He quickly bent down to scoop the gun back up with his left hand and hoped it was quick enough to avoid suspicion. At best, he knew this would make him seem clumsy, but clumsy was better than sick. Clumsy made him flawed, not a liability. He could deal with clumsy.

"Sorry," he said as he straightened back up. He hoped desperately that any pain that made it through to his face despite his efforts to suppress it would be mistaken for distress over his clumsiness, because Ulaz had stopped to look back at him. "I think I'd benefit more from the history lesson than the shooting range right now. I already know how to fire a gun." And he wouldn't be able to fire a gun until this cleared up, but, of course, he wasn't about to mention that part.

Ulaz was frowning at him, but that alone didn't tell Shiro whether or not he bought it. "Come with me," he instructed as he walked past Shiro, back the way they'd came, and Shiro decided to take the lack of questions as a good sign. At least, until Ulaz led him into what was clearly a sick bay. That--that didn't necessarily mean anything. Ulaz was a doctor, he knew that, so it made sense that he'd pick a sick bay as a comfortable place for an extended conversation. At least, until Ulaz pulled a handheld device from a cabinet and scanned Shiro with it, before Shiro even had a chance to protest.

He could run for it. He knew how to get back to the hangar from here, and he knew how to fly the ship they'd arrived in. But he dismissed those thoughts almost as soon as he had them. Even if he could get all the way to the hangar without Ulaz or anyone else catching him--unlikely--he didn't know if the way out of the base was safe right now. He was stuck.

"What was that?" he asked, trying to keep his nervousness out of his voice.

"A medical scanner," Ulaz answered, keeping his gaze fixed on the device's display. He clearly didn't like what he saw, as his usual frown grew deeper. "This is worse than I'd thought."

"Please don't tell Kolivan," Shiro immediately blurted out. "I can still be useful, I swear. I need to--"

"You need treatment," Ulaz interrupted. "Do you understand what will happen if you don't receive any?"

"Of course I do," Shiro answered. Without any treatment, he'd be dead in just a few years. But he'd rather spend those few years fighting as hard as he could than have an eternity without his freedom. "There's more at stake here than just my life. Kolivan already wants to get rid of me. I can't give him another reason."

"This is not something you could hide for long, and Kolivan would never trust you again once he learned. It is best to tell him now. I do not have everything I need for your treatment here, and we will need his permission to acquire the necessary supplies."

"What if he says no?"

"He won't. There is no denying that allowing this disease to progress unchecked will simply make you a greater liability, even if he doesn't yet see that you can be useful."

Oh.

It had been subtle, but it hadn't escaped Shiro's notice that Ulaz just admitted he believed Shiro could be useful, even knowing about his disease. Shiro couldn't help but feel a slight warmth spread over him at the realization. If nothing else, he had Ulaz in his corner. If nothing else, he had his soulmate's support. That alone made the whole situation feel that much more surmountable. That was enough.

---

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#voltron #shiro #ulaz #adam #uliro #adashi #soulmate au #trendy haircuts in space #trendy glasses on earth #itp af scrawls #af stands for always fuckingshitposting

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