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luveline · 6 months

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What about a lil fic of the first time bombshell reader gets mad at Spencer? Like it can be while they r dating or before and May be r is giving Spencer quiet treatment?

ty for requesting! ♡ fem, 1.3k

Spencer waits for Morgan to get up for a coffee before he gets up himself, tailing his teasing teammate to the microwave. He's hoping Morgan's in a sympathetic mood today, because Spencer is in dire need of some sympathy.

"Loverboy," Morgan says, his voice steeped in suspicion. "Can I help you with something?"

"Do you know why Y/N's upset?"

"You don't? You're the expert."

Spencer rubs at his nose, the beginning of another migraine brewing between his eyes. The gesture draws a little more empathy than his misguided question.

"You're gonna have to ask her yourself. I don't want her angry at me too, she's gonna fix my computer before Garcia finds out I fell for her phishing email test."

"I've been asking her. It's making it worse. She won't answer my questions anymore. She just hums."

"Silent treatment. Yikes." Morgan sips his tea through a grimace. "I mean, you must've done something bad. She's usually so–"

"Lovely?"

"–in love with you." Morgan laughs as he wanders off in the direction of the stairs up to Hotch's office. "Same thing."

Spencer decides to make a cup of bribery tea for you. He microwaves a mug of hot water and plunks a bag of your favourite blend in without ceremony, bobbing it up and down as he watches you from over his shoulder. You've moved desks upon request to sit with the rest of the team and opposite Spencer (against Hotch's self-proclaimed better judgement), your things set carefully in contrast to his books, a library's worth teeming on every spare inch. Some have even made their way onto your desk, pristinely stacked in wait of his perusal. It's one small gesture among the hundreds of kind things you do for him.

"Here," he says, setting the mug down next to your mouse carefully.

Your anger strikes him. Eyes frosted with an uneasiness he's not partial to, lips, so perfectly painted, screwed into a frown. It's not nice seeing someone he cares about upset with him, worse when he has no idea what it is he's done.

"You're annoyed at me," he says. You wait for him to continue. "I don't know what I did."

"That makes it worse." You frown at him. After a few seconds of this—your frowning, his looking sorry and confused— you sigh wretchedly (as in, he's never heard you sound that sad, ever, and he hates it). "Spencer, you stood me up."

Everything in him goes cold. "No I didn't."

Your sad frown melds again to anger. "Yes you did! I– I got my hair done at a salon, I bought a new dress, I bragged to all of my friends that my cute coworker was gonna be my date, and none of that mattered because you didn't text me back so I was worried sick all night that you were," —your voice drops to a private whisper— "in trouble somewhere, and then you come into work like nothing happened? Not even a hint of an apology? I thought you wanted to come."

Your voice burns with embarrassment. Spencer can feel it in his throat, that plucky ache of someone letting you down.

"That was last night?" he asks quietly. A friend asked you to their charity ball, not as ridiculously fancy as it sounds but an occasion of esteem and important to you nonetheless. "Y/N, I thought that was– I have it in my phone as next month. As November. I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you answer my texts?"

He winces. "I had a migraine… Screens make it worse, and I haven't charged the battery yet because I was coming to work anyways I'm sorry, Y/N, really. I mixed it up. I should've asked you."

You seem less disheartened at his admission. You cross your arms over your abdomen and lean back a touch in your chair, as if deciding whether he's being truthful. Spencer isn't in the habit of lying to you and anybody could tell you that, so after a few seconds you look away. "I asked you if you were excited yesterday morning. I told you my dress came."

"I know." He can't believe he's gotten it wrong like this. Anyone can make a mistake, but he imagines you in your new dress with your hair done waiting for him in the cold weather that descended on Virginia last night and his guts twist into a knot. "I didn't piece it together. I didn't… I didn't…"

Spencer can't remember the last time he let someone he loves down like this. His migraine spikes again like a needle in the eye, fiery agony that has him closing his eyes to cope.

"Spencer," you say, softly admonishing. "Hey, it's okay." Your chair creaks.

"I'm so sorry," he says through his teeth.

"I thought you were being a jerk, but I guess I should've known you wouldn't do something like that." You stand up and take his elbow into a very gentle hand. "I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder. It was childish. I was just hurt thinking you did it on purpose."

"Sorry," he says again. "Migraine."

Your hand rises to his cheek. "Yeah? Sit down, Spence. Take a breather."

The doctors say that Spencer's migraines are psychosomatic. He doesn't get how something so odious can start from nothing.

You seem twice as upset but in a different light, ushering him down into your chair. "Don't worry," you say softly, your hand falling into his hair, "I took a great picture. You can still see me in my nice dress."

You're kidding but he's genuinely glad. Then the pain takes over and he can't see the other side of it for years.

It only feels like years.

When he can open his eyes, you've knelt by his chair. He hates to see you getting your pants dirty like that, hates worse that your eyebrows have pinched and the soft plane of your forehead has etched deep with concern.

"You can still be mad at me," he says under his breath.

"I'm a little upset," you confess, putting an uncharacteristically tentative hand on his knee. "It sucked, but not as much as this seems to suck for you." You're like an angel, all pretty and wide-eyed at his feet, your hand beginning a short path up his leg, a soft back and forth. "I'm sorry Spencer. I was punishing you for something that wasn't your fault."

"You didn't know. How could you, I–" He winces as another wave of pain flares behind his eye, blurring your small smile. "I should've charged my phone."

"Maybe. I can't imagine you had the capacity, Spence. Not if you're like this."

"Don't just forgive me because I'm in pain."

"I'm not, I'm forgiving you because even though it really hurt my feelings turning up alone, I'm not cruel enough to blame you now." You squeeze his knee. It's an instant balm, the chronic ache behind his eyes easing ever so slightly. Your forgiveness makes the rest bearable. "Can you forgive me for being so heartless?" you ask lightly.

Your lips curve demurely around each word. Spencer scrambles to cover your hand with both of his, his neck craned forward. "Of course I forgive you."

"Thank you." Spencer could collapse. "Drink some of this tea, okay? Maybe drinking something will help."

Nothing ever helps, but he does it because it's your hands bringing the cup to his lips.

"I know you looked beautiful," he says between sips.

"I would've looked better on your arm. Too bad you're getting grievously attacked by your own brain. This is what happens when it gets too big, babe, it's trying to come out of your ears." He's a little sorry to have won you back this way, but mostly so, so relieved. "Anymore of this'll and you'll start messing up the months. Oh, wait!" You laugh as he laughs but soon scramble to apologise when the sound makes his head hurt. "Sorry, I'm sorry! Drink some more tea, sweetheart."

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

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dduane · 9 months

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I think one of the most amusing things from following you on Tumblr is when people go "wait, you wrote that?" about a series/book, like they were following you before they knew you were you.

Meanwhile, I followed you because I remember the Young Wizards books quite fondly and recognized your name when someone else I started following reblogged something of yours.

Thank you! It's always nice to be recognized. :)

...You know, though, I don't mind when the recognition sometimes gets really delayed: or maybe doesn't come at all.* I have absolutely zero problem with people following me simply because I reblog things that interest them. In fact, it's kind of encouraging, actually: that some folks like my online "company" without knowing that I've ever done anything in particular. (Not least because there are precious few of us in any branch of the media who're immune to the progression of career stages as once described to me by a producer I was working with:)

...And if you're lucky enough to be doing this for long enough, the progression can cycle—sometimes repeatedly, so that you may sometimes not be real sure whether you're currently in (1) or (5).** :)

Anyway, thanks again.

*I mean, we've all seen even @neil-gaiman get asks from folks saying "Wait, I thought you were just some tumblr guy: who are you?" So that has to ease any putative sting, even on low-self-esteem / impostor-syndrome days.

**Or you might be at like (2) in one medium and (4) in another. Work in enough kinds of media at once, and you may wind up needing a spreadsheet. :)

#career stages #recognition

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deepmochi · 7 months

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Astrology notes: synastry edition 🪐💋

Read here ⚠️

Note: take what resonates. This may not apply to everyone if these notes don't resonate, just scroll. This post applies to romantic and platonic relationships.

🦋 Moon conjuct sun make people see what the other person has in themselves. Both understand the other but also judge them.

🪼 Venus in the 12th house has a veil under them. This in a synastry give "dating vibes" even for platonic friends/ relationships. For romantic ones, gives, they are secretly dating vibes "friends with benefits".

🦋 Mercury and Sun aspects in the same signs make them a very competitive couple lowkey. The sun has masculine energy that the mercurian finds "interesting" or useful.

🪼 North nodes- sun people aspects aren't for long term relationships. The north node person signifies someone who comes and goes; they don't stay too long. This is perfect for "people come and people go" D.O's line in love shot.

🪼 Asc-Venus aspects in synastry always like to compliment the other apperance. They appreciate those "that skirt looks good on you" comments. They got a self-esteem boost and a reminder that the person cares for them.

🪼 Men with their sun sign in your 1st house are perceived by you as hot. This could lead to a night stand or intense chemistry.

🧊 Venus opposition Venus gives very subtle vibes to each other like. There's is always one who is more oblivious to the other. If other aspects interfere, mind games are possible.

🪼 The same element in a placement produces a very similar reaction. You may feel very drawn to that person. For example, A Leo Mars woman will feel attracted to fire sun or venus (aries or sag) men. They have similar fiery traits. This applies to men for their Venus signs. A man with a Libra Venus will find airy personalities very attractive and (bonus points) with an airy rising even more.

🦋 Mars is about motivation, drive, your temper and temperature. Yes, First house goes checked your blood pressure and heart rate. Whenever you get mad, you should listen to your heart 👀, please.

🦋 Don't trust tik tok astrology notes. I just heard someone saying Mars in the 1st likes to work under pressure like for daily work Girl...I'm Mars in the 1st and NO. My heart cannot resist that.

💙 Also, first house mars synastry can be a feisty couple. In public or private 😗, the "I hate you" type, and then they kiss each other.

🦋 12th house-Venus synastry can be very pretty if they decide to go with the flow. Without judging the other, or forcing to be like others (society roles).

🦋 Their venus is in your 12th house, it indicates that they feel loved by you in ways they cannot describe. This sometimes also mean blurry lines. If they don't know your relationships status, communication is useful. Don't let your mind read signs.

🐦 Venus in the 2nd, guess? People likes to buy you things. If someone has their sign in your 2nd house, they will buy you things easily. Also, they can prefer to eat together or show physical love (hugs or hold hands) even for friends. Taurus rules the 2nd house.

🦋 Insecure men with your lilith sign in their Venus (conjuction) will not asking you out. THEY'RE SCARE OF YOU. They believe you will break their heart. If they do ask you out, they are ready to fight the world for you.

🦋 Love doesn't equals obssesion. Pluto in the 8th synastry repeat after me: Love isn't obssesion!

🐦 Men with your Venus sign in their Sun sign will be easy to read. If they will like you, you will see it. They cannot play mind games.

🐳 Dating your 12th house sign especially in the sun or moon, it's something I don't recommend at all. They will make you feel "confused", even if they don't try it.

🪼 Women with Mars in the 1st house make fragile men feel inadequate. You can see those men feeling threatened by these women.

🦋 If he has his Mars in your 1st house, he thinks you're hot . Girl, don't even doubt it.

📫 The venus sign in a man chart depicts his ideal type. However, what he needs could be found in the moon. Good aspects between Moon-Venus: a long-term commitment.

🦋 People in your 5th house feels very flirty with you. So, the tension is there, yes, but don't be too delusional. Flirting doesn't mean a serious deal, just be aware of respect if you are in a relationship.

🪼 🔞 If people have their sun or moon in your 8th house, you will see them as more attractive in a romantic/sexual way. It's highly posible to have sex, even if they're not your type.

🐳 🔞 Water in the 8th house in a person's chart indicates "emotions + pleasure". Usually women like to be dominated. Men prefer to dominate. Both prefer dynamic partners with a good aftercare.

🦋 🔞Men with water in the 8th house like to have sex in beaches, in the bathroom and when things gets emotional. Angry sex too.

🦋 Conjuntion and trines have good things, but we cannot ignore the bad things. For example, moon conjunct moon; good things, you understand each other; bad things, you may become twins (for good or bad), too comfortable in the relationship, forgetting romance and passion.

🦋 Sun signs are important to considered if they don't match your Jupiter sign. It could indicate possible obstacles in your marriage.

🪼 Friendly reminder, a perfect synastry doesn't equal a perfect relationship. Please, if the person doesn't respect you, leave them. Not matter how perfect is the synastry in paper.

Take care, lovelies 💚😘.

Credit: @deepmochi

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aliceramblez · 4 months

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BroZone Brothers With An Insecure S/O 😔💗

Tags: GN! Reader, Self-Deprecating Jokes, Low Self-Esteem, Abandonment Issues, Slight Body Insecurities. Fluff/Comfort.

A/N: Here we go with our first request! I really liked this idea as someone who has low self-esteem, and honestly it goes to all of y'all who think you're not good enough— cause you are! Also sorry it took a bit! I've been sick because the universe hates me 🙃

Feel free to leave a request & hope you enjoy! ^^

John Dory

At first, he doesn't really know what to make of it.

He finds it a bit strange, but doesn't question your odd sense of humor, and will sometimes even join in on the joke by saying stuff about himself, thinking it's some sort of inside thing between the two of you.

“Man, I can't believe I'm so clingy, sorry! Feel free to use me as a bad example, at least that way I won't be totally useless, haha!”

“Ha! You think that's bad? Babe, you haven't even seen me when I'm up at night just staring at the ceiling contemplating my life choices.”

It isn't until getting a good smack from Bruce and Floyd that he realizes you're actually being serious. And the prospect of that kinda puzzles him, not gonna lie.

“Look at you, tiger! Got yourself plenty of groupies already— Not surprising honestly. Don't have to worry about backups when you decide you're ready to move on, either!”

After a performance at the Pop Troll village, everyone is gushing over BroZone because of course they are. JD only barely manages to squeeze past the number of fans to get to you on the other side of the podium.

The oldest sibling looks at you in shock, and has to get closer to make sure he heard you right. “Babe, why would you say that?”

Caught off guard, you manage a nervous chuckle as you play with your hair. “I-I mean... Wow, would you look at the time! We gotta meet with Poppy and the others!”

John Dory stops you on your tracks and demands an explanation, which isn't really good for your poor heart. All you can do is kick the dirt and avoid his gaze, since that makes what you're about to say much easier to voice aloud.

“I mean... You're John Dory. You could date any troll you wanted and yet you're sticking with me. It honestly feels like a dream sometimes... And I'm scared of the day you realize you can do WAY better and decide to leave me.”

After processing this, he immediately holds your face in his hands and gives you the most serious expression you've ever seen on him. “I don't want just any random troll... I want you. You're my number one fan, and I'm yours, so don't even think about stuff like that, okay?”

After the exchange, he's always on the lookout for whenever your bad habit wants to kick in again and is ready to stop it ASAP

Spruce/Bruce

He notices it happens mostly when you're working at the cantina.

Whenever you get an order wrong, trip over your own feet or don't remember how to work one of the machines properly, you'll go into an awkward insecure flight response.

You'll say “Oops! Sorry! Clumsy Twinkle Toes, coming through!” while grinning and laughing along with the customers, but Bruce knows that it's affecting you more than you lead on.

It also happens whenever BroZone is getting ready to perform and you don't know what to do with yourself since you're “standing in the way”, despite being told multiple times that it's okay for you to be backstage with everyone else.

When he talks to you about it, you get really uncomfortable and just say that it's no big deal and that you can handle it.

“I've always been a clumsy person, so I guess that's always making me doubt myself over the smallest of things... Sorry if it's annoying.”

Bruce will then proceed to give you a huge warm hug and a kiss on the forehead as he whispers comforting words into your ear.

“Hey, I can be clumsy too! I've always been the worst out of everyone when it comes to choreography. Don't tell JD though, cause I know he'll throw a fit knowing I don't practice.”

He'll throw in other examples that may seem inconsequential to you, but you appreciate the effort nonetheless and smile and giggle through the embarrassing stories he shares.

He helps you get more confident by being there with you while taking orders at the cantina and praising you whenever you get something right— albeit in private as to not embarrass you.

Same goes with rehearsals, where he WILL drag you into the lounge area to hang with his brothers and/or Poppy and Viva when they decide to visit, too.

Overall he wants what's best for you and will try and push you out of your comfort zone, but only in a safe environment where he knows that if something does go wrong, it won't be as catastrophic as you make it out to be in your head.

You never stop thanking him for being your crutch during these times.

Clay

The moment he hears the words come out of your mouth he's completely flabbergasted.

First of all, who said those things to you? Because he swears he just wants to talk to them—

It's at a sleepover with his brothers and the gals at the Bergen Golf Course, and among the many games, snacks and movies watched, pictures are also taken.

As soon as you take a look at the array of selfies, you let out what sounds like a mix between a laugh and a sigh.

“I mean, at least it stays consistent— in photos, I look ugly. And in real life, I'm also ugly!”

As soon as those words leave your lips, Clay is at your side with an almost unreadable expression, only to snatch one of the photos from your hands. “How DARE you say that about the most attractive troll I've ever met? Shame on you!”

He then starts going around the room waving the picture around to his brothers, saying stuff like “Look how attractive my S/O is! I'm dating them!” while you're just blushing profusely and begging him to stop (even though deep down your kinda giddy about it).

After that day, Clay will do small gestures in which he reminds you how beautiful he thinks you are. Everything to outright saying it each morning, joking about it with his brothers, and even bragging about you to his friends in the Bergen Golf Course.

He's a simp and he's totally okay with that because it's you.

Clay feels like he's the luckiest troll in the world for being able to snatch someone like you since he's “the most boring and uninteresting of the bunch”, so he feels like he's hit the jackpot.

You immediately tell him that he's not boring to you and that he's the best boyfriend ever, which only causes him to smirk.

“Doesn't feel good to know the person you love feels so bad about themselves, does it?”

Finally realizing his reverse psychology, you give in with a laugh. “No, it doesn't. I guess... We can both work on that? Together?”

And so you do, and end up helping each other whenever one is feeling down in the dumps, as a sort of personal cheerleader. You truly couldn't have asked for someone better.

Floyd

You're the kind of person who's very vocal about your interests.

So it's no surprise that you have to catch yourself mid-ramble whenever you're talking about something you're either interested in or knowledgeable about. And with Floyd being such a good listener, it honestly slips your mind more times than you'd prefer.

After realizing you've been talking for too long, you turn pink in the face and start apologizing profusely.

“Sorry! You probably didn't need to hear all of that. They didn't call me ‘Chatter Box’ when I was younger for nothing! Haha...”

But Floyd could care less about any of that. He loves hearing you talk, not just because he's not much of a chatty person, but because he just finds it incredibly endearing.

He'll hold your hands in his own and give you the softest smile ever that just makes you think that it should be illegal to be THIS sweet.

“You're just so cute when you get lost in the moment like that. Besides, I love seeing you happy. By all means, I'm glad you get to do the talking for the both of us, otherwise we wouldn't get anywhere in this relationship.”

You laugh at his attempt to make you feel better and melt under the touch of his lips on your cheek.

After that, whenever you go out either just the two of you or with your group of friends, Floyd will encourage you to express yourself. He does this by either asking you a question directly or subtly incorporating you into the conversation by saying something like. “I think (y/n) knows about this kinda stuff. Don't you, love?”

Obviously this all happens with your consent beforehand, since he doesn't want to put you in a tight spot, either.

Either way, he always values whatever you have to say, since you always bring in new perspectives that maybe others didn't think about before.

He will also encourage you to be yourself and not try and match your topics of conversation with things you think other people will find interesting. You deserve to be happy by sharing what you love with the world.

Poppy and Viva are huge helps in the art of feeling confident by speaking your mind, and Floyd couldn't be happier for you.

You thank him by telling him about your day each night, in which sometimes he'll fall asleep to the soothing sound of your voice, which only warms your heart on so many levels.

“Goodnight, my prince.”

“Goodnight, my little chatter box.”

Branch

Just like Clay, this man is ready to throw hands.

Just give him a name and he'll get the job done before sunrise—

He notices that sometimes you struggle with finding outfits for different occasions, either something casual, dressy, classy, etc.

But it's not because you don't have anything in your wardrobe, on the contrary it's pretty much brimming. It's more the fact that you're not satisfied with any of them because you feel like you don't look good in them.

Branch tries to convince you otherwise, saying that you look great no matter what you wear, but you can't help but feel self-conscious in anything that isn't a good old sweatshirt.

He isn't knowledgeable in fashion (clearly) so he enlists the help of Poppy and The Snack Pack to try and cater outfits to your exact measurements, along with any other nitpicks you've had in the past with either texture or material.

I mean, Branch has backup plans to his backup plans, you think he wouldn't keep notes on what kind of stuff his S/O doesn't like— INCLUDING mundane stuff like their clothing?

He surprises you with these, and you can't help but feel attractive in them since he paid extra attending to the complaints you had from your own designs.

“I personally think you look great no matter what you wear. But if you feel so strongly about it, might as well get some stuff you'll actually enjoy wearing.” He'd said when you asked why he did it, and your heart just melted.

You vow to try and work on your self-imagine regardless, which he gets happy over and says he can't wait for you to see yourself the way he does.

#trolls #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls x reader #trolls branch #trolls spruce #trolls john dory #trolls clay #trolls floyd #branch x reader #spruce x reader #clay x reader #john dory x reader #floyd x reader #headcanons #dating scenarios

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aerynwrites · 6 months

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Worthy

Gale x Fem!Reader/Tav

A/N: based on this request! I hope you enjoy this nonny (and everyone else!)

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Self-Esteem Issues, insecurity, reader feels unworthy of Gale, comparisons to Mystra, emotional hurt/comfort, angst, fluff at the end, Gale is a sweetheart.

*Not beta read, apologies for any grammatical or blatant errors*

The stars offer you no solace tonight.

Instead their gentle twinkling light seems only to mock you, taking you back to the memory Gale shared with you from his meeting with her.

Mystra.

The goddess who has held so much of Gale’s past in her hands and apparently still seems to have him in her grasp.

Your self worth has always been something you’ve struggled with, especially in relationships. So, when Gale showed interest in you all those weeks ago you had a hard time accepting it, especially when you found out about his past with the goddess.

But you’d started to love past that. As each day with Gale he proved his love for you more and more, with each little action or sweet word. He told you of the betrayal he faced at Mystras hand, how he had been cast aside and now with the orb in his chest…

You shake your head.

All of that has shattered now. That tiny voice in your head coming back full force after your visit to Mystra’s shrine. After Gale had seemed so excited about the prospect of earning his goddess’ forgiveness by giving her the crown.

You have to fight the tears that burn at the back of your eyes.

Even now, Gale is off at Sorcerers' Sundries trying to learn more about the crown, asking Rolan if there are any more tomes he may have on hand.

That little voice is loud tonight. Louder than it’s ever been as you gaze at the stars from the balcony of your shared room at the Elfsong. Telling you that you were right all along. You’re not worthy of a man like Gale.

How can you be? How can you ever compare to a goddess?

The tears finally slip down your cheeks then, unable to contain the emotions that have been building in your chest.

And as if the goddess herself wants to torment you, it’s at that same moment that the door to your room creaks open, Gales' excited voice drifting through the air.

“You’ll never believe what I was able to find at Sorcerous Sundries,” he says happily, and you hear him set something down somewhere behind you as you try to wipe fruitlessly at your tears.

You can hear Gale approach where you're standing, and you turn your face away just as he comes up to your side.

“Rolan truly is a visionary, he was the one able to point me in the direction of-“

A particularly harsh sniffle from you makes Gale stop in his tracks, brows furrowing in concern.

“What’s wrong, my love? Are you alright?” He asks, reaching out to wrap an arm around your waist, hand settling on your hip.

Just another reminder of where you feel you fall short of Mystra.

You step out of his embrace, missing the way his face further crumples, confused at your withdrawn state.

Gale is not blind, nor is he deaf or inattentive. He knows of your struggles when it comes to relationships and your own self image, you’ve told him as much. But things were good - you’ve both made great strides when it comes to your relationship.

So why are you pulling away?

You shake your head, still wiping at the tears that won’t stop. “I’m fine, Gale.”

He takes a step closer to you, frowning deeper when you take a step back. “Clearly not,” he says gently. “Please, you know you can confide in me, as I have you. Talk to me, my love.”

Finally, you turn to look at him fully, face hot and eyes wet with tears.

“Will you go back to her?” You finally ask, voice cracking through the lump in your throat.

Gale looks puzzled. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.”

You take a deep breath, chest heaving. “To Mystra, Gale. Are you-“ your words break as you fight back a sob. “She asked for the crown in return for removing the orb, correct?”

“Yes, but I have yet to see why that is causing you such upset-“

“Because she’s a goddess!” You cry, tears coming down harder than before. “She’s offering you forgiveness, for you to be back in her good graces and I-“ a sob interrupts your words. “Why would you ever stay with me when you can go back to her? Why do you love me?”

Gale’s lips part in surprise, eyes widening as it finally settles in why you’re upset. And if you could see through your tears, you would see the heartbreak that displays itself on his face.

“She’s beautiful,” you continue, “and I-I’m this!” You gesture at yourself, heart threatening to snap in two.

How did you ever think he would stay?

You’re just about to turn and leave the balcony, leave the room in an effort to leave before he can prove you right. But before you can escape two warm hands cup your face, thumbs wiping at the tears that still cling to your cheeks.

“Put those vile thoughts from your mind. You are a sight to behold, more beautiful than any god or goddess,” Gale whispers, brown eyes searching your own as he pulls you close. “Mystra may still be my goddess but that is all,” he says firmly.

“I did agree to bring her the crown. But only so she could take this orb from my chest. Forgiveness be damned. I would not care if she took the crown and never looked upon me again,” he admits, thumbs moving down to trace gently over your lips.

“I could not bear the thought of living the rest of my life with you with that threat looming over us. I agreed for you. For us.”

His words are so full of conviction as he whispers them into the air between you, his lips almost brushing yours from how close he stands. You want to believe him, and in truth you do. You do believe him, because he’s shown you time and time again that he chooses you over anything. He even chose you over the crown, the chance at godhood.

Yet that voice is still there, even if it’s quieter than before.

“But…why?” you ask again, voice matching his in a whisper. “Why do you choose me when you’re worthy of so much…more.”

Gale presses his forehead to your own, your noses bumping together as his lips brush your cheek.

“If anyone is unworthy in this situation, it is me,” he tells you softly. “A man fallen from the grace of the gods. I have failed myself and you in more ways than one and yet you still remain by my side. Please…” His lips brush yours once more. “Let me do the same for you. Don’t push me away.”

Before you can respond, Gale presses his lips to yours, arms moving to slide around your waist as he pulls you close.

This time you don’t stop him.

This time you stay. You let him kiss you and let him embrace you as he pours his love into you.

Only when he pulls away do you finally find words.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

Gale's lips tilt up in a small smile as he shakes his head. “Do not apologize to me, my love. Just know that I love you to the ends of the universe, and hold that love in your heart whenever those thoughts of doubt try to creep back in.”

You nod, moving to wrap your arms around him as you nuzzle into the crook of his neck. “I love you too.”

Gale hums low in his chest as he holds you tighter, swaying gently in the cool night air of the balcony.

And when you pull away just enough to look up at the stars…you swear they shine just a bit brighter than before.

#Gale x reader #gale dekarios x reader #bg3 gale x reaer #bg3 x reader #gale dekarios #bg3

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learnyouabiology · 11 months

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Fun Fact: Hognose snakes are dramatic lil guys!

I am particularly fond of the snakes known as hognose snakes, and my reasons are both understandable and correct.

This is a hognose snake:

(They received their name by having the sweetest lil snoot to ever require a boop – image source)

They use these adorable snoots to burrow under sandy soil using a sort of nuzzle-y motion. They then use these burrows as a place to sleep at night, hibernate in the winter, and lay their eggs.

(you could say they’re into... the Underground Scene! ...ok yeah i’ll show myself out – image source)

Plus, they come in a variety of delightful colours!

We've got brown! Beige! Yellow! Black! Red! Orange! Tan! Kinda greenish! Orange again!

(pretty sneks! – Here’s all the image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

And, to be clear, the snakes pictured above are wild snakes. No selective breeding by humans in these noodly bois! At least, not in these specific individuals. probably. I guess a few of them could be escapees...

But most importantly: These snakes know the true meaning of DRAMA

Hognose snakes are actors, first and foremost. When they feel threatened, the first thing they do is puff out their neck into a hood.

(like cobras, this hood is made by FLEXING THEIR NECK RIBS. which: gross – image source x)

This superficially makes them look like a cobra, but what they’re actually trying to do is make themselves seem bigger, and therefore scarier. Possibly those dark spots on their neck helps with that!

Any resemblance to real-life Eurasian cobras, real or fictional, is purely coincidental

Also, it makes its mouth do this:

(Snakes that SCREAAAAAAAM. – image source)

honestly, if I didn’t already know that hognose snakes were harmless, this would ABSOLUTELY make me leave it the hell alone

But if all of that^ is unsuccessful at scaring away the predator, the hognose snake pulls its signature move: playing dead

If you think that is a lame signature move, then you are wrong, because hognose snakes put EVERYTHING into their performance and I love them for it.

(they’re serious, they’ll do it! – image source)

((I’m actually going to stick the rest of this under a read-more, bc the pictures of the alive-and-physically-fine hognose snakes do kind of look like a legitimately-dead hognose snake, if you don’t know what to look for.

So, uh: cw for a snake being too good at pretending to be dead))

Behold: a series of completely healthy, unharmed snakes!!!

(to help with their self-esteem, we ask that you at least pretend to believe that they are dead – image sources 1, 2, 3, 4)

Honestly, the photos don’t do it justice. Here’s my favourite video of the whole wonderous performance:

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youtube

But to review:

There's writhing! There's dramatic noises! There's flipping onto their back and opening their mouth wide and letting their tongue hang out! There's excreting a combination of intentionally smelly substances!!! Truly a master of the art of being left the hell alone (*^▽^*)

(yep. deeeeefinitely dead. not just faking it. nothing worth eating here! – image source)

Personally, my favourite part of this is how they insist on rolling onto their back, even when they are rolled back onto their stomach.

Seriously, if you try to roll them right-side-up, they will flip back over. It's as though they believe that a good, proper dead snek MUST be on its back, obviously.

(truly fearsome – image source)

Sadly, the hognose snake may have made itself too scary, according to humans.

Out of fear, these snakes are commonly killed on sight 😔. I once heard someone proudly brag about how they’d killed a dozen cobras! In southern Ontario! Where cobras do not live! This is both extremely frustrating and deeply sad.

(safe enough to hold! although maybe don’t, just because this snake IS probably experiencing mortal fear, which is not a good feeling – image source © Dean Stavrides)

So just to highlight: hognose snakes are completely harmless. They’re just pretending to be fearsome!

(not that people should be killing venomous snakes either, imo. Let the danger noodles LIVE THEIR LIVES)

(i is baybee, pls do not hurt me – image source)

And now some bonus facts to help raise us out of that downer:

Hognose snakes are toad specialists! Their favourite food is toads, which is unusual, because toads are poisonous. Hognose snakes deal with this by force of will and also, at least two amino acid substitutions, maybe (Mohammadi et al. 2016). Possibly a few other things help with this, also (Feldman et al. 2016).

(is snek eat toad? or does toad wearing cape of snek? impossible to tell, really – image source)

Also, I have a confession: hognose snakes... are venomous. Technically.

(itty bitty little fangs at the veeeeery back of their mouth! – image source)

They are known as rear-fanged snakes, which means they have fangs aaaall the way at the back of their mouth. The venom they produce seems to be toad-specific, and is considered to be harmless to humans unless you happen to have an allergy but that's the exception rather than the rule

(the two hognose species. They are both baybee, but in different ways actually there might be more than two species but these are the two i’ve actually learned about so ALL WELL – image source)

Also, hognose snakes are big cowards NOT aggressive and I've never even heard of anyone getting bit by a one (outside of one feeding mishap, which we can all agree was an ACCIDENT).

The series of events that would need to occur for you to be envenomated are so unlikely and bizarre that I assume you would have to be TRYING to get bit.

This has been Fun Fact Friday, bringing you the forbidden noodly boys to try and keep them a little more safe!

.....................................................................

Sources, because I know me and SO DO YOU:

Averill-Murray, R. C. (2006). Natural history of the western hog-nosed snake (Heterodon nasicus) with notes on envenomation. Sonoran Herpetologist, 19(9), 98-101.

Buchanan, Scott W.; Timm, Brad C.; Cook, Robert P.; Couse, Richard; Hazard, Lisa C. (2017). Spatial ecology and habitat selection of eastern hognose snakes. The Journal of Wildlife Management, 81(3), 509–520. doi:10.1002/jwmg.21218

CHS: Canadian Herpetological Society https://canadianherpetology.ca/species/species_page.html?cname=Eastern%20Hog-nosed%20Snake

COSEWIC. 2021. COSEWIC assessment and status report on the Eastern Hog-nosed Snake Heterodon platirhinos in Canada. Committee on the Status of Endangered Wildlife in Canada. Ottawa. xi + 45 pp. https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/species-risk-public-registry/cosewic-assessments-status-reports/eastern-hog-nosed-snake-2021.html

Cunnington, G. M., & Cebek, J. E. (2005). Mating and nesting behavior of the eastern hognose snake (Heterodon platirhinos) in the northern portion of its range. The American midland naturalist, 154(2), 474-478.

Feldman, C. R., Durso, A. M., Hanifin, C. T., Pfrender, M. E., Ducey, P. K., Stokes, A. N., ... & Brodie Jr, E. D. (2016). Is there more than one way to skin a newt? Convergent toxin resistance in snakes is not due to a common genetic mechanism. Heredity, 116(1), 84-91.

Jared, C., Luiz Mailho‐Fontana, P., & Maria Antoniazzi, M. (2021). Differences between poison and venom: An attempt at an integrative biological approach. Acta Zoologica, 102(4), 337-350.

Liu, C., Chen, Y., Zheng, Y., Bo, J., Yang, C., Xu, S., & Zhang, S. (2022). Wear Resistance Improvement of Keeled Structure and Overlapped Distribution of Snake Scales. Journal of Bionic Engineering, 1-11. Citing abstract.

Mohammadi, S., Gompert, Z., Gonzalez, J., Takeuchi, H., Mori, A., & Savitzky, A. H. (2016). Toxin-resistant isoforms of Na+/K+-ATPase in snakes do not closely track dietary specialization on toads. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 283(1842), 20162111.

Nature Conservancy of Canada: https://www.natureconservancy.ca/en/what-we-do/resource-centre/featured-species/reptiles-and-amphibians/eastern-hog-nosed-snake.html

Plummer, M. V., & Mills, N. E. (1996). Observations on trailing and mating behaviors in hognose snakes (Heterodon platirhinos). Journal of Herpetology, 30(1), 80-82.

Rouse, Jeremy D.; Willson, Robert J.; Black, Ron; Brooks, Ronald J. (2011). Movement and Spatial Dispersion of Sistrurus catenatus and Heterodon platirhinos: Implications for Interactions with Roads. Copeia, 2011(3), 443–456. doi:10.1643/ce-09-036

Seburn, D. 2008. Recovery Strategy for the Eastern Hog-nosed Snake (Heterodon platirhinos) in Canada. Species at Risk Act Recovery Strategy Series. Parks Canada Agency, Ottawa. vi + 24pp.

Schwartz, V. & D. Golden (2002). Field Guide to Reptiles and Amphibians of New Jersey. New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife

VHS: Virginia herpetological society http://www.virginiaherpetologicalsociety.com/reptiles/snakes/eastern-hog-nosed-snake/eastern_hognose_snake.php#:~:text=Heterodon%20is%20derived%20from%20the%20Greek%20words%20heteros,meaning%20%22broad%20or%20flat%22%20and%20rhinos%20meaning%20%22snout%22

Young, R. A. (1992). Effects of Duvernoy's gland secretions from the eastern hognose snake, Heterodon platirhinos, on smooth muscle and neuromuscular junction. Toxicon, 30(7), 775-779. https://doi.org/10.1016/0041-0101(92)90013-U

Young, B. A., & Morain, M. (2003). Vertical burrowing in the Saharan sand vipers (Cerastes). Copeia, 2003(1), 131-137.

SARA: threatened https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/species-risk-public-registry.html

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cherry-bomb-00 · 2 months

Text

Headcanos- Obey me Brothers

It's just the brothers' silly little headcanos, I did it because I had some ideas out there, I hope you like it.

-Lucifer uses makeup to hide dark circles or other imperfections. Although Luci is not a narcissist like our dear Asmo, he still cares about his appearance and since he is working all the time and with a lot of stress, it is obvious that it shows on his face, but as the proud man that he is, he is not going to let that they see him with the look of not sleeping for a week, besides come on, his representative animal is a peacock, it is not strange that he wants to look dazzling (and even more so with Mc).

-Mammo has myopia. I think It is likely that the second oldest suffers from myopia, and the glasses he uses are for seeing, only he put yellow glass in them so that it is similar to gold, and if he does not use glasses, he uses contact lenses (the most Lucifer probably also wears glasses.)

-Asmodeous insecure of himself. I know, I know, Asmo, the most narcissistic with low self-esteem?! I'll explain my point to you, this little bitch- I mean, I mean, this pretty boy feels insecure because he knows he has beauty, but only that, and he feels that he only has beauty but he's not good at other things, he's not as smart as Satan. or very strong like Beel, then he only has beauty but superficial, since he feels that inside he is rotten… and not as beautiful as his appearance.

-Belphegor with sleepwalking. Maybe not all the time, but it wouldn't be strange if Belphie sometimes walks around asleep at night. It's not strange to see that Beelzebub goes to look for his sleepwalking brother in the middle of the night, when he notices that his twin is missing (Or sometimes because he is hungry).

-Santa watches Latin American novels. I think that apart from the fact that he likes to read a lot, he has a guilty taste, he loves Latin novels, he may sometimes watch those novels, who knows how many times he saw "Betty, La fea", perhaps many. The only one who knows about this is Mammon, since he sometimes accompanies his little brother Satan to watch Latin novels.

-Levi is known to have social anxiety, but he also suffers from insomnia, so he plays late at night and may take sleeping pills (others don't know about that), and he has nervous habits, like biting his nails, scratching his skin, playing with his fingers, among others, and it is not uncommon for him to have an anxiety attack if something bothers him too much, poor child, he deserves more love.

-Beelzebub, apart from going to the Gym, also practices pole dancing, this because Asmodeous asked him to accompany him to those classes with him, and Beel accepted, now the sixth brother apart from being muscular, very flexible, he does very well in the classes and Asmo gives him food every time they finish training.

-Lucifer has a collection of vinyl records, this is not unusual, but he not only has vinyl records from the Devildom, but also from the human world, he likes to listen to music from vinyl records while he works.

-Mammon keeps it a secret, but he still remembers how to cook some foods that are from the Celestian realm, but he doesn't tell his brothers, but sometimes he sneaks out to cook those dishes with Simeon (It's not strange that he feel a little more comfortable with Simeon, since he does not insult him like his brothers)

-Leviathan is cold-blooded. I say this more because he is somewhat reptilian, so it is not unusual for him to avoid cold climates or cold things, and in certain seasons he sheds his skin, but the skin on his tail and his horns fall off when he sheds. of horns and his skin is very sensitive to cold things like ice (Mc once put ice on his back as a joke, it burned Levi's back and left a mark on his sensitive pale skin, obviously Mc I apologize for that).

-Asmodeous secretly listens to metal and rock. He like pop and he is a pop boy (maybe also k-pop) but he cannot deny that he enjoys listening to metal or rock when he is getting ready, it makes him feel alive.

-Satan may have identity problems, although he seems sure of who he is, the truth is that he doubts a lot about his identity and being compared to his older brother does not help, so Satan does not know what his identity is and He is still building it, sometimes crying with frustration and anger when he sees himself in the mirror, because he does not see himself, but instead sees Lucifer in the reflection.

-Belfegor has created his own torture for him, let me explain, do you know that in MLP, Princess Luna creates a nightmare to punish herself for the evils she did? It is very similar to what Belphie did, he still feels guilty about killing MC and that is why he created a nightmare that reminds him of what a horrible thing he did, killing MC, one of the people he loves the most and also earning the look of disappointment of his brothers, that nightmare, that little torture he suffers every time he sleeps, he does not forgive himself.

-Beelzebub suffers for his gluttony, we all see that Beel eats a lot and a lot for his sin, but the truth is, he suffers a lot, his stomach is like a black hole, he is never full or satisfied, and although he enjoys eating, it really is something torturous for our himbo, since he never fills up, and that consumes him, he feels how his insides eat away at him if he doesn't eat enough, it's horrible.

I hope do you like it

#obeyme #obey me brothers #obey me beelzebub #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #obey me angst #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me shall we date

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dragonpropaganda · 5 months

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you should talk about your thoughts on rw fanon (looking with huge eyes)

Oh god, there's a lot of major misconceptions have concreted into fanon, mostly around ancient society and ascension.

First things first! Ascension is not death! They are entirely separate things treated entirely separately by the text of the game. I can see where the interpretation is coming from, but it doesn't really align with how the text treats either subject. Five Pebbles may want to remove the self destruction taboo, but from his reaction to the rot it's clear that he doesn't want to die. Conflation of ascension and death only comes up as an offhand possibility that pebbs makes on iterator 4chan, when he's going into the possibilities of scenarios that even the other sliverists are doubtful of! (let me make clear that I am not a sliverist by any means)

Ascension is more of talked about as a form of transcendence, yeah? A Bell, Eighteen Amber Beads talks about their sitution as being "To have grasped at the boundless infinites of the cosmic void…", not as them seeking an end to life.

The beta dialogue goes into more detail, mentioning the "infinities of time and space" and the "boundless fractal planes of spirit and reality...", though this dialogue was cut and it's hard to tell how much it reflects the concept as in the released game.

As for the cultural misconceptions... there's A Lot to talk about, but the first that comes to mind is the common conflation of the five natural urges and the christian concept of sin.

It is true that the negation of urges is mentioned by moon as an alternative method of ascension, but much of what we know about the culture of the people who the fandom calls the ancients (which makes discussion of the depths a mess but that's something for another post entirely) points towards the urges not being seen as shameful.

Even the first urge does not seem to be particularly scorned! Being a warrior is presented as a cause for bragging in the Shaded Citadel pearl, being comparable with being an artist and a fashion legend. The second urge, also does not seem to be suppressed. Multiple sources attribute some level of honour to parenthood! The aforementioned pearl also mentions Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel as being a "Mother, Father and Spouse" without any hint of shamefulness. Nineteen Spades, Endless Reflections expresses pride about having progeny, mentioning it alongside their owned land and esteem among their peers.

After some peer review, an esteemed friend has told me to add a section on purposed organisms as well! This is not so much my area, so I might be a bit off on some things.

As moon says, the majority of purposed organisms were tubes in boxes, and that the primal fauna of the world are almost entirely extinct. A lot of the fandom seems to ignore the first part, and i can't say I blame them, but the evolution of the creatures is so much weirder than people think.

Concept art for the creatures has this interesting quality to it, where the organic parts of the creatures have an almost... melty quality to them.

In the concept art, the flesh appears as if it's almost defying the machinery to form an animal shape. It's as if it's conquering its own artificiality the way the foliage grows over the (stone, brick and concrete, not mostly metal as some think!) ruins.

Of course, it's hard to really tell how much of this reflects the finalised concept, most of the integration is much smoother in the game, in line with a seamless kind of biomechanical design. There was always an intention of biomechanical strangeness, as shown in this screenshot of the devlog before the term "slugcat" even existed!

That said, the melty nature of the concept art shows a level of wild change inherent the biomechanical nature of the creatures, as if they truly are the result of these "tubes in boxes" almost revolting against their own boxes.

and considering centipedes... some tubes may not have had boxes in the first place!

#rain world #rain world lore #rainworld #rw spoilers #please note! my role in downpour development does not make me an authority on what is canon or not!#my domain is entirely within challenge mode and arena which aren't canon anyway #my lore analysis is just lore analysis with no looks behind the scenes of anything vanilla #downpour was made as a fan expansion and the rewrites were just done directly by james #we didn't get any disambiguation on the lore (and thank fuck for that honestly. analysis is the best part)#though the hills ARE made of bricks #this is canon not because i say so but because it is visibly true in some areas of the game. part of the text and thus canon. weep.#i could go into more detail on most of this! purposed organisms aren't my area of expertise tho so i might be a bit shaky on some of that #anyway if anyone has any fact checking to do. please do so #media analysis is a dialogue!

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bestygogirl · 3 months

Text

BEST YGO GIRL: SEMI FINALS

Match 2

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

Aki Izayoi

An abuse victim who isn't the perfect passive figure but gets to work through her complicated feelings about power, agency, and family. Even with Yusei's help, she is the star of the show when she learns to control her powers and reconciles with her father, it is so fun that a ygo heroine gets to take such an antagonistic role bu not be shamed for her anger

please vote for my main girl, aki izayoi. aki was led to believe she was a monster from a young age by her father, who treated her powers like it made her unworthy of love. as a result, divine was able to swoop in and take advantage of aki's low self esteem. for years, aki believed herself unworthy of love and was molded into a living weapon at the hands of authority figures in her life. she was taken advantage of, and thus when she finally comes face to face with yusei, she refuses to believe he could provide her with unconditional friendship. who would want to be around a monster, after all?

aki also nearly beats yusei TWICE in a duel, bringing it down to a single turn difference. she comes toe to toe with him, and it truly is the result of who dueled better. she remains a fierce duelist, btw. the second season, aki gets her duel runner license, and immediately nearly beats the ass of a tournament winning turbo duelist - to the point where once again, a single card is the deciding factor. that's right: she nearly won. if not for a single trap card, aki izayoi would've won.

a fierce duelist who was shaped into a loving, caring woman despite years of being beaten down by the world: aki izayoi. vote for her now on your phones.

#best ygo girl poll #semifinals #yugioh duel monsters #isis ishtar #ishizu ishtar #yugioh 5ds #aki izayoi #akiza izinski

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michelleleewise · 11 months

Note

Hello michelle!!! For the sake of privacy you may call me Sage, but I love your work and I wanted to make a request for a fic. Completely okay if you're not up to it though. Don't stress yourself :)))

Here are a few points you can keep in mind while writing, the rest is totally up to you <3

¤ Loki and Reader have been sworn enemies ever since he came to the tower

¤ They 'hate' eachother but sometimes end up accidentally flirting

¤ Reader ignores the feels and gets with another person, much to the dislike of Loki and we get some jealousy scenes (if possible)

¤ Something happens with reader's,now ex, partner (cheating or sum) and loki unknowingly pokes fun at their relationship which causes reader to burst into tears. Loki's demeanor completely changes once he sees her current state and he becomes all soft and fluffy and calms reader down

¤ happy endings with confessions

TYYYY, ONCE AGAIN, LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK 🥰

Hiiiii Sage!!!! Sorry this took a minute to get to!!! Thank you so much for sending this to me!! I absolutely love enemies to lovers🥰, this got a bit away from me and grew a mind of its own...I hope you don't mind!! I hope you like it!! 💚💚💚

====================================

I Hate You

Pairing: Avenger Loki x Avenger female reader

Warnings: self esteem issues, sexual innuendo, flirting, kissing, y/n's bf being a total ass, swearing, mentions of injury (not very graphic), mean Loki, insults, mentions of cheating (not Loki), crying, throwing things, yelling, jealousy, I think that's it....let me know if I missed something......

Summary: y/n and Loki have "hated eachother almost since he arrived back on earth....but are things as they seem.....

A/n- aahhh!! Again....this totally ran away with me!!! Sorry!!! (Or am i?.....hehe) aaaand a new pic! 😁 a very very special Thank you to @mochie85 and @high-functioning-lokipath for helping me work part my writers block and brainstorming with me! Your amazing!!! 💚💚💚

You walked into the training room, setting your towel and water bottle down you made your way over to the mats, spreading your feet apart you bent over touching your toes standing back up you reached up to the ceiling before bending back over when you heard an all too familiar voice behind you "now that is a view I could get used to." He purred making you roll your eyes. You stood up turning your head to see the last person you wanted to "in your dreams Laufeyson." You sneered continuing your stretching "and who says I don't darling." He said slowly circling you "but in my experience, dreams are never as good as...reality." He said coming to stand in front of you. "Dont you have anything better to do....or anyone?" You snarked straightening out seeing a smirk spread across his face "is that an offer darling?" He asked taking a step closer "your disgusting" you said pushing past him heading towards the sparring mats.

"Come now darling, do you mean to tell me you haven't thought about it?" He asked quickly trailing behind as you stopped in the middle of the mat "I swear to God.." you sighed, freezing feeling Loki's warm breath on your neck "mmm I would allow that..." he breathed against your ear "in fact...I would expect it...demand it..." he whispered stepping close enough you could feel the heat from his chest seeping into your back "I would hear you screaming my name...and only my name...for all to hear." He continued, closing your eyes you felt him trailing his finger up your bare arm sending a shiver up your spine "but only if you were a good girl." He cooed nudging the shell of your ear with his nose "do you wish to be my good girl kitten?" He whispered, your breath hitching feeling his fingers slip under the strap of your tank top.

"can you picture it? I'm sure you have... Me taking you as you deserve to be...thoroughly..." he said shifting to your other ear "completely...your delicate walls clenching around me." He said, His words shooting straight to your core making you squeeze your thighs together. He huffed a laugh in your ear as his fingers traveled down towards the swell of your breasts "I know I can...and it is delightful." He said rubbing his nose along your ear "i...I hate you Loki." You gritted hearing him laugh again "mmm do you? Because your body tells a different story." He said tilting his head up "I can smell you kitten." He barely whispered, his lips ghosting your ear when your eyes shot open.

You quickly turned placing your hands on his chest shoving as hard as you could but barely moving him "oh dear...have I hit a nerve?" He laughed smiling at you. "I can't stand you." You growled watching him shake his head "you are incredibly pent up, I could help you release some of that...tension." He said taking a step closer "hate sex can be very...satisfying." He said, his smile spreading wider. God you wanted to punch him in his stupidly beautiful face. "Look Loki. I..." you were cut off as Steve walked in "y/n, can I have a word?" He asked making you sigh "uh oh...someones in trouble." Loki mocked laughing "you better run along kitten before you get put in time out." He snarked turning around. It took everything in you not to kick him in the back of the knee "now y/n." Steve said making you sigh. "Coming." You called out seeing Loki turn his head and wink as you walked over to Steve.

"What's up Steve?" You asked crossing your arms "walk with me." He said turning and walking out into the hallway as you followed behind him "we're getting a new member to the team, Jason." Steve said handing you a small file "I want you to be his go to on day to day things, showing him around, teaching him the ropes." He said as you nodded "he'll be reporting tomorrow so meet me at fury's office at six am sharp." He said turning continuing down the hall. You leaned against the wall flipping through the file "Jason eh?" Loki's voice sounded from behind you "can't you ever mind your own business?" You snarked quickly closing the file "now what kind of partner would I be if I didn't care hmm?" He asked crossing his arms

"do you try to be this insufferable or is it just your personality?" You asked turning to look at him "bit of both really." He snarked back "i do love to see how red your cheeks can get." He smirked down at you. "God I hate you." You sighed turning to head down the hall "oh I know." He called from behind you. Shaking your head you headed to your room, closing the door behind you you sat on the bed closing your eyes. "Dammit!" You yelled clenching your fists. You tried not to let him get to you, to goad you...but he always seemed to find a way to get a rise out of you and you hated it. You flopped back on the bed staring at the ceiling, if you were honest with yourself you didn't hate Loki...quite the opposite, but he had squashed any chance of anything ever happening between you practically as soon as he arrived. You took a deep breath, thinking back to that day.

You walked into the large ballroom, biting your lip you looked around the large crowd trying to find the one man you were here for. "Who is that gorgeous woman?" Nat asked coming up next to you "i...thanks nat." You smiled looking down "He would be an idiot to turn you down, now go get em tiger." She smiled nudging your side. You nodded as you set off on your mission, you wrung your hands together when you heard Thor's laugh booming through the room. You walked towards the blonde god when something caught your attention out of the corner of you eye. You glanced over seeing the God you were after walking out onto the balcony. "There you are." You said to yourself, smoothing your dress you followed behind him.

stepping out onto the balcony you saw Loki standing at the balustrade, his tall lithe frame clothed perfectly in his all black suit, hugging every curve of him to perfection as he sipped from his champagne glass. You opened your mouth to say something when another voice sounded from the shadows "I think she's going to ask you out." You heard, seeing Bucky step up next to him when you heard Loki laugh "please, me...go out with her?" Loki asked shaking his head "come on, y/n's a nice girl." Bucky said looking to Loki "she is insignificant...a weak pathetic little thing." He sneered looking out into the city "the day I do anything with her is the day I've lost my mind." He said sipping from his glass again.

You felt the tears prickling your eyes, closing them you shook your head when you heard your name "y/n? Are you ok?" Bucky asked as you looked up, your eyes meeting Loki's when you felt a tear stream down your cheek. "I...yes I'm fine...never better." You said quickly wiping your cheek you raised your chin "I think I need a drink." You said quickly turning back towards the doors "y/n...may I have a word?" You heard Loki's voice making you freeze. Everything he just said running through your mind "no Loki, you can't." You said turning your head to look at him "in fact, never speak to me again...Laufeyson." you sneered gritting your teeth when you saw something you couldn't describe flash in his eyes "very well." He said looking down to his feet as you turned and went back to the party.

You sighed at the memory, it had been two years since you had your dreams crushed, two years since you cursed Tony's existence when he decided to make you Loki's permanent partner on missions "but you guys work so well together." He had said making you want to punch him, two years you watched the man you had fallen for flirt with everyone but you. You rolled over looking at the clock you saw it was getting late so you decided to try to get some sleep before your new babysitting job started tomorrow.

You walked into the kitchen, setting your purse down you opened the fridge grabbing a bottle of water when the bane of your existence strolled in "well well, where are we off to?" Loki asked leaning on the counter "none of your damn business Laufeyson." You said turning to see your tormentor smiling at you "let me guess...date with the little boy?" He snarked walking around the counter "his name Is Jason, and your one to talk." You snarked back adjusting your low cut black maxi dress. "You know what y/n, you couldn't handle a real man." He said stalking closer to you making your eyes shoot up "and you have the emotional intelligence of a cucumber." You said matching his step "so why don't you run along to the bar and pick up one of your bleach blonde bimbos because that's the only woman who could tolerate you." You snarled as you came toe to toe with eachother

"atleast they would be able to satisfy me." He snarled towering over you "you wouldn't know how to properly service a man if you had a manual." He said smirking. Feeling your face heat up you raised up on your toes, even in your heels he loomed over you "you have no idea what I'm capable of...laufeyson." you said smirking back at him "you wouldn't even remember your own name when I was through with you." You said leaning closer, your chest brushing his, the cut of your dress pushing your cleavage up you saw his eyes quickly glance down before shooting back up "I would make you come so hard the only thing you would remember Is me." You whispered, smiling seeing his cheeks flush and his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "Hey babe, you ready?" You heard behind you, turning your head seeing Jason adjusting his tie "coming love." You said taking a step back from Loki you grabbed your purse turning to Jason "happy six months love." You said wrapping your arms around his neck smiling up at him, he was taller then you but considerably shorter then Loki "happy six months babe." He smiled back leaning down he gently pressed his lips to yours, feeling Loki's gaze on your back you tilted your head deepening the kiss hearing a low groan from behind you.

"Must you make such a display in a public area, I may lose my dinner." Loki snarked. You pulled back looking over seeing his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed "have fun with your hand tonight laufeyson." You said grabbing Jason's hand you pulled him behind you "night Loki." You heard Jason say but got no response "ignore him, He's just mad someone dropped a house on his sister." You said hearing Jason laugh you stopped and turned seeing Loki place his hands on the counter leaning forward shaking his head, his eyes screwed shut as he sighed. Maybe I went too far you thought when Jason tugged your hand "come on babe, we have reservations." He said as you nodded and followed behind him.

You couldn't get loki out of your head the rest of the night. Yes you bickered back and forth, but you don't remember seeing him look so defeated before. "Babe..." Jason said pulling you from your thoughts "yes...sorry I was lost in thought." You said looking over to him "its ok, I was gonna ask..." he started when you made it to your door "I heard what you said...to Loki." He said wiggling his eyebrows "oh! That...I was just trying to get back at him." You laughed looking down to your feet "well, I was thinking...we've been dating six months." He said as you nodded "and I was wondering if maybe....tonight we could...." he trailed off waving his hand in the air.

"Oh...umm..." you started, biting your lip when he stepped closer sliding a hand around your side "I wouldn't mind forgetting my name." He smiled when you placed a hand on his chest "I'm just...I don't think im ready yet." You smiled up at him seeing his face drop "well when do you think you will be?" He asked taking a step back as his hand dropped "I don't know. I just..." you shrugged looking down "I'll tell you as soon as I am." You said watching him nod "ok, goodnight y/n" He said leaning down kissing your forehead "Goodnight jason." You said opening your door slipping inside you quietly closed it behind you, pressing your back to the door closing your eyes, Jason's disappointed expression running through your mind.

You walked towards the bedroom slipping your heels off you flopped on the bed. It wasn't that Jason wasn't attractive, quite the opposite with his dark hair and blue eyes, but you had never been the type to fool around, wanting to find a deeper connection then just the physical. It's what caused your last boyfriend to "look elsewhere." You sighed laying back looking up at the ceiling "just do it y/n, your not a virgin." You told yourself rolling over you closed your eyes remembering all the times Jason had asked for more, waiting for you but you knew he was getting impatient. Smiling deciding you would invite Jason over for dinner and a little "dessert". You crawled up the bed climbing under the covers you snuggled down into your pillow trying to find sleep before your mission with his highness in the morning.

It had been a week since your date with Jason and things were beginning to feel off. You had tried to text him a few times but all be gave you was short one word answers, causing your anxiety to rise remembering your ex "no, he wouldn't do that, he cares about me." You said to yourself as you walked into the training room "your late!" Loki yelled sternly making you roll your eyes "I'm here aren't i?" You called back tossing your things down "I have better things to do then to wait for you to detach yourself from that man child of yours." Loki growled as you walked over to the mat he was on pulling your hair up "mmm miss the company of your hand already?" You snarked as he stared you down "what I do in my chambers is not your concern." He snarled gripping his daggers tightly "are we going to train or not?" You snapped closing your eyes. "Oh, is someone feeling a little...frustrated?" He asked laughing "Shut up Laufeyson." You said gritting your teeth.

"Ooo someone's not getting serviced properly." He laughed again making you sigh. "And i see it isn't Jason." He continued making your eyes shoot open seeing Loki point to the door. You looked over seeing Jason walk in with Shanice, one of Tony's lab assistants. "It seems you made him forget your name as well." You heard Loki say as you watched the two face eachother, a large smile spread across her face as she ran a finger up his bicep. "My my, maybe I should have a talk with her as well...I've heard she knows what she's doing." Loki purred coming up behind you. "Screw you Loki." You said as you walked towards Jason "anytime darling." You heard Loki call out as you got closer to the two.

"ok, I'll see you later." You heard Shanice say as she winked and turned back to the door "oh, hey y/n." Jason said turning to you with a smile "Hey love, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come to my room tonight?" You asked stepping closer to him "I was gonna make dinner, maybe some....dessert." you purred running a hand up his chest "ok, sounds good." He said stepping around you heading for the locker rooms. You looked over seeing Loki watching you intently "see you tonight love!" You called out seeing Jason wave his hand in the air not turning around. You bit your lip, your anxiety flaring again when your eyes met Loki's again, something you weren't sure of swirling in them...pity...anger... making you uneasy as you grabbed your things

"leaving so soon?" He asked walking over to you "it's none of your business Loki." You said quickly walking to the door. "I wager he'll he too occupied to show." Loki called out from behind you making you freeze. You slowly turned trying to keep the last of your composure seeing him smile "I'll gladly collect that when your proven wrong...laufeyson" you growled quickly walking out before he could open his big mouth again. You headed to your room, slamming the door behind you throwing your stuff on the couch "God I hate him!" You yelled clenching your fists. You took a few deep breaths before grabbing a clean towel and heading for the shower.

You set the table, rushing into the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the spaghetti dish you made before taking it and setting it on the table "perfect." You smiled smoothing down your deep purple dress, adjusting the lingerie underneath as you pushed your beasts up when you heard a knock at the door "one second." You called out, taking one last glance in the mirror you hurried to the door, opening it seeing Jason standing there smiling down at his phone "Hey love." You said as he looked up, his smile dropping "Hey y/n." He said as you stepped aside letting him in. "So, I made spaghetti...your favorite." You smiled walking over to the table seeing he hadn't moved from the doorway "a...and I was thinking...after dinner maybe we could." You started

"y/n, I dont want to see you anymore" Jason said crossing his arms in front of him "wha...why?" You asked taking a step towards him "because, I don't want to be with you." He said, his tone cold and emotionless "but i...we...we were fine....everything was fine." You said feeling tears well in your eyes "well maybe for you." He said taking a step towards the door "I'm a man y/n, I have needs." He said as his phone rang "speaking of." He said pulling it out answering it "yeah...just give me five minutes I'm almost done....ok love you too." He said as he hung up opening your door "jason..." you breathed taking another step towards him "get it through your head y/n, I don't want you...now if you will excuse me there is someone waiting for me." He said smiling "and she definitely knows how to make me forget my name." He winked closing the door as he left.

You stood frozen, staring at the spot Jason had just been when you heard your phone go off. You felt numb, moving on autopilot you walked over to the counter, your hands shaking as you picked it up, seeing a text from Loki you opened it "Stark just informed me we have a mission in the morning, do try to be on time." You stared at it, your mind still reeling as you attempted to process everything that just happened when another text popped up "but I am certain you will be done early." Tears pricked your eyes as you stared at the screen when everything hit you at once "Dammit!" You screamed throwing your phone across the room watching it shatter against the wall. Storming over to the table you grabbed the dish of spaghetti throwing it hard at the door, glass and noodles exploding against the wood, the screams burning your lungs as you sank to your knees on the floor. "Why am I never enough?" You whispered to yourself as you laid down, curling into a ball on the floor you clutched your knees to your chest as the sobs wracked through you.

You looked across the bar, sipping your drink watching your target. You had been stuck on this mission with Loki for days and you were going crazy. Every snide comment cutting deeper and deeper as you still tried to process what happened the other night. Thankfully you were about to apprehend the hydra agent you were after so you could go back to the tower and lick your wounds in private when Loki's voice cut through your consciousness "are you sure you will be able to seduce him? I am not sure your his type." Loki snarked into the coms making you grit your teeth. You screwed your eyes shut as Jason's words echoed through your mind "maybe we should contact Shanice." He said laughing when your eyes shot open, looking across the bar your eyes met his seeing his smile drop. "Y/n?" He asked into the coms as you pulled it out dropping it onto your drink as you stood and began walking towards the agent.

"Hey there, can I buy you a drink?" You purred running a hand up the man's arm. "Not interested." He said not looking up from his phone "well how about a little fun then?" You asked stepping closer to him "I'm not into whores." He said finally looking up at you "especially ugly ones." He said laughing as he stood up "good luck." He snarked tossing money onto the bar as he walked off. You stood frozen staring at the bar when you saw movement out of the corner of your eye, looking seeing Loki punch the man in the face before dragging him through the door "shit..." you sighed quickly running after them you burst out the door looking around when you heard grunts coming from the alley

"how dare you speak to her that way." You heard Loki snarl as you ran into the alley "loki! What are you doing!?" You yelled watching him shove the man against the brick wall "securing the target, what else." He said holding the man there by the throat "we have to go!" You yelled hearing voices coming from further in the alley "I'm not through with this one yet." He snarled when a gunshot rang through the alley "Loki, let's go!" You yelled pulling your gun out from your purse aiming down the alley you fired a few warnings shots when you looked back seeing Loki slam the man's head against the wall as he slumped the the ground "loki, we..." you were cut off by a sharp pain in your shoulder knocking you off your feet "y/n!" Loki yelled as you sat up "fuck!" You yelled pressing your hand to your shoulder seeing red "Dammit!" You gritted as Loki walked over grabbing you arm pulling you up

"let go!" You yelled ripping your arm away "y/n, I was only.." he started when you looked up at him, seeing his eyes soften "get us back to the jet." You growled gritting your teeth as he gently placed his hand on your other shoulder, closing your eyes you felt the familiar tingle that came when Loki teleported you. Opening your eyes you saw that you were inside the jet "here, let me see." He said walking towards you "no, don't touch me!" You yelled storming to the back of the jet grabbing the first aid kit "stop being so stubborn and let me see it!" Loki demanded following you when you slammed the kit down "no! Haven't you done enough!" You yelled feeling the tears welling in your eyes as you looked up at him "just get us back to the tower so I can go back to my pathetic existence." You snarled ripping the kit open "y/n, i..." he started

"haven't you ruined my life enough?" You asked feeling the tears steaming down you cheek "you have made it abundantly clear how weak and useless I am, and guess what...you were right!" You yelled ripping your dress seeing the wound in your shoulder "so just get us back and I'll tell Tony to give you a better partner." You hissed pressing gauze to the wound "y/n please, just listen." Loki said taking a step forward you slammed you hand down on the table "no! I won't...get us back...now!" You yelled seeing him jump as your eyes met his "very well." He said looking down he walked to the cockpit as you sat down, holding your head in your hands unable to stop the sobs that wracked through you you tried to cover your mouth as you rocked back and forth feeling the jet lift off you closed your eyes thankful you would be home soon and back to your room.

~~one week later~~

You grunted at the pain in your shoulder as you slid your tank top on, trying to get dressed. You hadn't left your room since you got back and thankfully loki had given you a wide birth since, there was no way you could handle him right now. You looked in the mirror pulling your hair back sighing seeing the dark circles under your eyes "well, thats as good as its gonna get." You said walking to your door. You were happy to stay locked up but Bruce told you you needed to start working your shoulder, so you begrudgingly made you way to the training room, hoping you would be alone but already knowing better, the men in the tower practically lived in the gym.

You took a deep breath, walking inside seeing Loki training with Thor, his daggers sending sparks in the air as they clashed with Thor's hammer. Looking further you saw Steve sparring with bucky and Nat on the treadmill. You quietly walked in, slowly setting your things down when you looked up meeting eyes with Loki. You quickly put your head down sitting on the bench to tie your shoes when a woman's giggle pulled your attention to the door, sighing seeing Jason walk in with Shanice on his arm, running a hand up his bicep "last night was amazing." She said looking at you as she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Mmm your so sexy." He purred as he pressed his lips to hers. I can't do this you said to yourself as you got up, feeling the familiar sting in your eyes as you grabbed your things when you heard the sound of metal clanging to the floor.

Turning around you saw Loki taking purposeful strides towards you, ripping his gloves off throwing them to the floor as he stormed closer, his eyes boring into making you shiver as he came up on you "Loki...wha..." you were cut off as his hand clasped the back of your head, his fingers twining in your hair as he pulled you to him. All rational thought left you as his mouth crashed into yours, electricity shooting through you as his lips caressed yours. You felt him pull back, opening your eyes they met his as they searched yours "y/n. I.." he started when you reached up burying you fingers into his messy curls you pulled his lips back down to yours, tilting your head deepening the kiss earning a growl from him as your tongue glided across his bottom lip.

"Y/n" you heard him whisper as your tongue dove past his parted lips, moaning into his mouth feeling his other hand at your hip slowly sliding down cupping your ass, feeling him shiver as you fingers dove under the hem of his shirt ghosting over the skin above his shorts, traveling around to his lower back biting his bottom lip as you pulled his hips towards you feeling his hard length press against your stomach. "Aahh....y/n.." he moaned as you sucked on his bottom lip releasing it with a soft pop as you pulled back looking up into his eyes as you both tried to catch your breath. "Loki." You vaguely heard someone call out as you stared into eachothers eyes, his hand coming up cupping your cheek.

"Loki." You heard again, realizing it was Thor "H..he's calling you." You whispered unable to break Loki's gaze "hmm?" He hummed as his thumb caressed your cheek "he's calling you." You whispered as Thor walked over to you "Brother, what is the matter with you, did you forget your name?" Thor laughed when you saw Loki smile "it seems i have." He said making your cheeks heat up you looked over seeing shanice huff before grabbing Jason's hand and storming from the room. "Well, I'll leave you two alone." Thor said as he walked out as well. You looked back up at Loki, his eyes soft as you took a deep breath "Loki, i.." you started when he pressed a finger to your lips "y/n, please....there is something I have needed to say for sometime now." He said quietly slowly lowering his finger he grabbed your hands

"what you heard that night on the balcony." He started looking down "i...I did not mean a word of it." He said looking back up to you "then...why?" You asked feeling him squeeze your hand "when I first met you, you were so beautiful and kind, and I was...I am...a monster." He whispered as you shook your head "no...you aren't." You said squeezing his hands back "y/n, I've killed people, I attempted to rule your planet, i..." he started when you placed your finger in his lips "that wasn't you, you...Loki...have been mistreated, abused, lied to." You said seeing a tear steam down his cheek "you have a big heart, even though not many get the chance to see it." You said wiping his cheek with your thumb "but i...I have been so unkind to you...the things I've said." He trailed off looking down

"would you allow me to make amends? Allow me to treat you as you deserve?" He asked, biting his lip as he looked back up at you, a sadness In his eyes you hadn't seen before. "Well, I suppose you do owe me." You said smiling making his eyebrow arch "that asshat did show up that night." You said nodding towards the door "so if I remember correctly I won the wager." You said seeing him smile "you are correct, what does the lady wish as payment?" He asked taking a step closer to you "name it and it shall be yours." He said bringing your hand to his lips kissing the back of it "a date...I want to go out to dinner with you...get to know you...the you that you've kept hidden." You said seeing him smile "as you wish, I shall be at your room at eight o'clock." He said taking a step back "I look forward to it." You smiled as he nodded and walked towards the door

"and Loki?" You called out as he turned "i...I'm sorry." You said biting your lip "for all the mean things I said to you." You said seeing him smile "I am sorry too, it will never happen again" He said placing a hand over his heart "you have my word." He said "eight o'clock." You said smiling seeing him return it before walking out. You couldn't help the squeal that escaped you as you grabbed your things and ran to your room to get ready. Excitement running though you at the prospect of a second chance, one you were not going to let get away this time.

@lokistoriesblog @hyperlokilover @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @simplyholl @lokidokieokie @mjsthrillernp @violethaze @dryyoursaltyoceantears @loz-3 @commanding-officer @stupidthoughtsinwriting @high-functioning-lokipath @jaidenhawke @lokiandbuckysdoll @littlespaceyelf @lastlovesong17 @ladyofthestayingpower @homesickloki @glitterylokislut @avoliax @yelkmelk @mayjaysthots @buttercupcookies-blog @differenttyphoonwerewolf @her-glorious-purpose @nate-ate-hate @chantsdemarins @ladymischief11 @usagishira @princess-asgard @honeyg19 @goblingirlsarah @cabingrlandrandomcrap @silverfire475 @smolvenger @marygoddessofmischief @animnerd @texmexdarling @fictive-sl0th @jin0x0 @vbecker10 @eleniblue @lady-rose-moon @pics-and-fanfics @kittiowolf210 @kats72 @asgardianprincess1050 @crimson25

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lycheedr3ams · 4 months

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König Character Analysis (Part 1)

*image reposted with permission

Part 1: His Past

the first installment of a multi-part character analysis for our beloved König

to convince you guys i know what I'm talking about, just look through my blog at my könig posts. I am confident that I have grasped most parts of his personality and backstory, but I will acknowledge that some of it may be projecting. obviously we do not know much about him, which is the point of this series. i also relate a lot to him

discussion of my interpretation is welcome in the comments, and if you disagree, there's no need to be hateful. he is, at the end of the day, not real

TW: bullying, social anxiety, other mental health disorders

We have very little information on könig's life before the military. his bio includes one sentence, just one, about his past:

König suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life, often being bullied during his childhood.

while this information alone isn't striking, when put into more context of other parts of his bio, it says:

While he hoped to join as a recon sniper, his physical size and his inability to stay still made him an unsuitable candidate.

focus on those words: his inability to stay still. this crucial bit of information, tied to the fact that he was often bullied, leads me to conclude that könig has ADHD. not being able to sit still is not a stereotype, it is a real fact of life for those with ADHD, me included. people with ADHD are bullied much more than neurotypicals (people without ADHD, autism, etc). while each source is different, it is estimated that children with ADHD are 4-10x more likely to be bullied.

it is no wonder why bullying would cause social anxiety, since most of könig's interactions with his peers were negative. as someone with social anxiety, it is horrible. not knowing what to say or how to act, you end up either completely misreading the social context or not saying anything. either way, you can never win.

additionally, children with ADHD receive up to 20,000 more negative messages from parents and peers in their childhood than neurotypical children. because of this, it is common for people with ADHD to also be extra sensitive to rejection, and it can be so strong in some that a new term has been coined called "rejection sensitive dysphoria." research on this issue has revealed that 99% of people with ADHD also have and experience rejection sensitive dysphoria. therefore, it makes sense to conclude that König also experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)

an aside on rsd: this isn't just feeling hurt when you're rejected by a crush or feeling sheepish or embarrassed you're scolded at work or school. rsd episodes make you question your entire life, your personality, your worth, and for many can even lead to suicidal thoughts just from a small incident of rejection. it can also lead to the person having low self-esteem, and they are also more likely to perceive rejection even when it is not there. it is an intense and overwhelming experience that no one should have to go through, yet people with ADHD experience it often

so, we've established, based on the evidence i've provided, that König has ADHD, social anxiety, and experiences rsd. i would say that i can't even imagine what König's childhood was like, but sadly I can since i too have adhd and was bullied. being mean is never okay, and bullying is not cute or quirky or sassy. bullying is when someone kicks your books across the floor, steals and destroys your belongings, when they spread false rumors, make fun of you, laugh at you, when they give you mean faces when you ask questions in class, when your only friend is the other "weird" kid who also has ADHD. it's when your teachers constantly criticize you and you get in trouble for every little thing. it's when you just wanted a friend and everyone else knew how to socialize, but somehow, you didn't. being bullied while also having ADHD is an experience i wish on no one. yet könig went through this. just sit with that for a minute. the big scary military man we love was also a child once, and went through this.

sorry to depress you guys, but this is the reality of his character. i firmly believe that könig has ADHD and experiences rsd despite his untouchable and stoic demeanor, and you're not gonna change my mind.

so, that's the end of the first installment. keep your eyes out for more, cuz trust me, there's gonna be more. (also don't forget to sign up for my taglist if you want! link is on my masterpost)

taglist: @osteawb, @sleepystaarr, @vvampir3s, @simpxinnie, @majocookie, @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy, @marysdelrey, @kybeth5, @chaos-on-stand-bi, @shannonswizzies, @arcadia509, @bloodstoneruby, @cumikering, @skystreamchan, @junkratssheila-09, @kit-williams, @tangerynsbaby, @dreamdiaries777, @royalbxstxrd, @non-satanic-panic, @theweirdchick, @kiyomisan, @maylif, @mortimoshi, @eneiss

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icanseethefuture333 · 5 months

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Random ass question, but what do you think is the best way for a 4/10 girl to become at least a 7 out of 10? I’m aware that “beauty is subjective” but I’m literally below average, 4/10 is being lenient for me lol

How to have confidence in your physical appearance 🎀

First of all sweetie,

let's not rate ourselves on a scale about how pretty we are! It's really degrading and I feel like you deserve so much better than that. Living in a generation where filters are oversaturated, people using AI to edit their photos, and incels with porn addictions and have never felt the touch of a woman, will call the most beautiful girl "mid". It's so understandable why one's self esteem can feel low at times. You need to change the way you talk about yourself (especially me). Beauty always start from within - as redundant as that sounds. You can't feel pretty if you're not focusing on the reason why you feel this way. A pretty soul (and self concept!) makes a prettier face. Moving on, let's get into the actual tips of a glow up 💖

Let's address the elephant in the room 🐘: you're not ugly, just acting pitiful

Have you ever wondered why you have seen those people who are considered "unattractive" or "unconventionallly pretty" by others be in successful relationships or popular with their peers? It's because they have confidence. Have you ever been attracted to someone that may not necessarily fit the beauty standards or be considered a jaw dropping model, but you thought they were cute anyways because of their personality or charm? That's exactly what I mean. You can be a pretty face or have a nice body, but have terrible self esteem. Living in California my whole life I come across this everyday. There is plenty of beautiful people here, but there is also a lot of people with no sense of humor and no offense, but have no personalities. In other words, you can be attractive, but superficial and boring.

To feel beautiful or more like a "10" even on your worst day is mainly having a good self concept. You need to think with the mindset of "I am the baddest bitch even on my worse days and nobody can make me feel different about that, not even me." Our concept can be changed, reshaped, rebuilt, morphed, etc, into any way we want it to be. Our self concept and dominant thoughts are created by our previous past experiences and what people have told us what we are. For example, if you were bullied in your youth and somebody picked on you for your features. Why would you give a fuck about what a bully thinks??? A person who humiliated and traumatized someone at a weak point in their life does not matter. Their opinion, their actions, their thoughts - doesn't matter. You can change yourself anytime you want, we are animals, we are literally mean to be apart of this cycle called life and our habits, attitudes, opinions, etc, can change at any moment. We are meant to grow and adapt. You get to decide who you are, what you feel, and how you wish people to perceive you. Nobody else. So when you repeatedly say things to people like "I'm not beautiful", they're gonna get tired of it honestly and be like "Yk what damn bitch I guess you are ugly!" because it gets tiring to hear someone complain about the same thing even when they just reassured them (again, I'm guilty of this too). So when you depend on someone to make you feel good about yourself, that's just codependency. You are also giving them the power to manipulate you. Don't do that. Be free and be independent, love yourself. It's your self esteem and you cannot be dependent on anybody else to fill that void you have within yourself.

As Katt Williams said, "It's the esteem of your motherfucking self!"

Why it's not your fault you don't 'feel" pretty

Like I said above, you are most likely a product of your surroundings. Most people are not raised by their parents to have good self esteem or to teach them how to be confident or emotionally secure. There are many environmental factors to insecurity and that it is okay if you are never 100% feeling confident about yourself. People in the media construct this ego to seem "cool" and act conceited as a way to avoid being seen as weak to society. You can be confident and also have insecurities. Confidence is just about being secure with the essence of who you are and setting boundaries when necessary with other people when it comes to that. A confident person doesn't tolerate disrespect.

"Conceited" or confident?: how to avoid confusing the two

I think the most irritating thing to me that is normalized these days is narcissism and conceited people. People will literally act boastful and cocky then say "I'm just confident". Behaving like a narcissist or saying that you are one is not cute and never will be because it's literally a personality disorder, a mental health condition. Everytime I hear this it makes me want to roll my eyes so far back into my head. Try to avoid being this person with a "God complex" because there's a difference between a person who is being loud and fake with "confidence". A real confident person makes moves in silence and is genuine with themselves. If you have to brag or put another person down to feel like hot shit, then you're not a confident person, period.

Tips to enhance your beauty

As I said before anon you are already a 10 in my eyes, but I understand how it feels to not feel pretty at times and we all have our days when we are looking "rough". Here are some self care tips I do that helps me feel pretty and pampered physically ✨️

Get some beauty sleep! This is not just a saying. When your body has time to rest it gives you time to reset & have more energy for the next day. Getting plenty of sleep helps prevent dark circles & puffy eyes as well. If you struggle with falling asleep spray lavender pillow spray, drink tea, or play asmr/soothing sounds.

Skincare & hygiene, this is such a crucial step that everyone should practice in their daily lives. All of us have different skin textures and when we neglect our skin it causes a dry, oily, or bumpy surfaces. Now skin texture is totally normal but if you notice the days where you are not washing your face frequently enough, your skin either looks dull, dirty, or you experience more pimples / acne breakouts. Not to mention how dirty we feel when our body is projecting a certain odor. You don't need to have an extravagant routine, but at least try to have about 4 hygienic products (soap, deodorant, lotion, & body spray/prrfume) and 4 skincare products (facial cleanser (I recommend double cleansing!), serum, SPF/Sunscreen, & face lotion).

Mirror work, saying affirmations in the mirror has proven to be helpful for people's self esteem & feeling more confident with their physical appearance.

Change your wardrobe! Start dressing for your body type & how your ideal self would. It might feel uncomfortable at first but you will feel so much more beautiful! You could try finding videos on tiktok of people with your body type to help (for example, if you are plus sized, you could search your desired aesthetic & find people with the same shape as you).

Detox from social media 📱, learn when it is time to take a break from your phone & engage with the real world. Scrolling for hours on your phone can be really harmful especially if you're reading negative comments or watching videos that are self depreciating.

Follow people who uplift you, not tear you down. If you are following people who obviously are negative or affect your self esteem somehow, then you do not need to be supporting them.

Make appointments! Whether that is a doctor appointment or lash, nail, or hair appointments. Take care of your mind, health, and body. You could ask your doctor what vitamins you should take or also seek a counselor/therapist to find the root of your insecurities in a safe place. Also sometimes just getting my hair or nails done makes me feel more confident!

Learn to treat yourself. Buy yourself flowers or a gift you always wanted but never received. This could be anything, it doesn't necessarily mean to spend money. For example, cooking your favorite food, having a lazy day, etc. Remember that you deserve to be happy!

Lastly, beauty spells, glamour magick, and manifestation are popular methods for people who wish to enhance their physical appearance. I do all of these myself and I always feel so hot afterwards!

I hope you found these tips helpful beautiful ♡!

#beauty tips #self love #personal growth #glow up #manifestation #self concept #physical appearance #desired appearance #pretty girl energy #glamour magick #beauty spell #law of assumption #shadow work

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prettieinpink · 5 months

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hii!! <3

I wanted to ask u if u know how to deal with a bad grade? I always get good grades and am a straight A student, but recently I got a bad grade and it's effecting my self esteem and I keep worrying and stressing about it :((

i'm not sure if u already posted something about this, if so, I'm sorry and u can just ignore this >.<

tysm and no pressure 💞

(btw I love ur blog smm!! it's so helpful! 💗🫶)

DEALING WITH A BAD GRADE

1: SELF CARE

Dealing with a grade that was unexpected for you, or above your standards can be a huge hit to our academic confidence. So, make sure not to treat yourself harshly because of one grade.

DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF. I know it may not seem like it now, but receiving one below-average grade is not the end of the world or your academic career, nor does it represent your abilities as a student.

That being said, do not ‘punish’ yourself for a bad grade. I see that it's from a point of wanting to improve, but it’s more harmful to believe that overworking yourself will improve your grade.

VENT OR RANT. Whether you’re talking to a classmate, friend, or family or doing some way to document your feelings, just let it all out. It can be frustrating or stressful for us if we receive a bad grade, especially if we spend so long studying for it or it has a huge weighting.

DETACH FROM THE GRADE, just temporarily. I’m not saying forget about it, but just put it on the back of the burner and focus on the present moment. If needed, do some things you enjoy to relax and relieve your stress.

2: IMPROVING

Everything that you want to do after having a bad grade, to prevent that in the future and to reconcile your mistakes. Remember that improvement is only there if you commit.

LOOK FOR ERRORS. Were your study methods effective? Did you have instrumental understanding or rational understanding of the topic? Did you use your class time effectively?

If you do receive your assessment/assignment back, look for the mistakes you made on it. Write it down and practice those later, even if you aren’t getting assessed on it shortly. It is better to understand now than to be confused later.

ASK YOUR TEACHER. Ask them for feedback on the assessment, where you went wrong and how you can improve in the future. Listen to them, and apply what they say.

Or, if you’re someone who doesn’t want to talk to their teacher, ask your peers who have a good understanding of that topic or got a high grade.

REFLECT. Do you believe that this was the best grade you could’ve got, or were you able to work hard but just didn’t? Were there any externalities that affected your grade? How will you improve for next time?

3: FOR THE FUTURE

To make up for the bad grade, so it doesn’t affect your final one and to implement ways to make studying more effective.

BUILD GOOD STUDY HABITS. Flashcards before you sleep and when you wake, making your environment rid of all distractions and knowing what to do if you do not understand something etc.

CREATE A STUDY SCHELDULE/ROUTINE. This is so you know what to study, when to study, for how long and how to study for that topic. You do not want to go into study sessions unprepared, as you’re just gonna waste time.

SEEK EXTRA CREDIT. Participating in class and doing extra assignments are ways to recover your final grade from your last one. Ask your teacher about this.

4: MOVE ON. That grade is in the past, and you are in the present. Use that present time wisely, so you can celebrate all of that hard work once you get your success. Do not waste your time dwelling on it and forgive yourself.

Thank you for your support anonnie, it means so much to me.

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slayfics · 1 year

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Muichiro’s Mansion

Muichiro x Reader series

Mitsuri joins a training session with you and Muichiro.

Chapter 5

Mitsuri joined you and Muichiro to observe your training session for today. You suddenly felt extra nervous with two Hashira’s watching you.

“Just pretend I'm not here ok!” Mitsuri said smiling and sat down under a tree to watch.

“Come at me.” Muichiro stated.

You were taken back. The past few weeks you have just been swinging your sword and hitting a dummy. Muichiro had never asked to spar with you yet. He stood in place waiting for you to make a move. You took a deep breath then ran towards him and just before you would have struck him you slid under between his legs to confuse him and then attack from behind.

Muichiro had never seen you fight before but he seemed to instantly catch on to this move and was not deceived by your movements.

He stood in place but when you turned to face him, he had the sleeve of your uniform in his hand.

“Too slow. If I wanted to kill you this wouldn’t just be your sleeve.” He stated tossing the sleeve on the floor. “That is a risky move and you’re not experienced enough to pull it off. Don't do that against a demon.” He stated.

You sighed and looked at the floor. You didn’t know how much longer you’d be able to take this berating day after day.

“Tokito! Don’t be so rough on her!” Mitsuri yelled. She stood up and placed her hands on her hips. “Can’t you think of one thing she did well?”

“Of course I can.” He replied.

“Well then tell her! You can’t just tell someone all the things they are doing wrong day in and day out! How she is supposed to stay motivated! Try to say something nice at least once a day, ok? Boosting self-esteem helps demon slayers get stronger!”

“That sounds pointless. It’s what she’s doing wrong that needs attention. That attack was to slow and put her in a vulnerable position. I barely had to move at all to strike. She’s slow and clumsy and it’s been this way for weeks now.”

That was the final blow you were able to take. You ran before thinking about your actions. You knew you couldn’t hold back your tears and you didn’t want to cry like a child in front of two Hashira. You kept running till you were far enough away to have some privacy and began to cry. It felt hopeless you were trying so hard but apparently weren’t getting any better according to Tokito. All you wanted to do was be stronger and make him proud but the past two weeks you were beginning to feel he regretted accepting you as his Tsuguko.

You sat with your knees pulled to your chest and hid your face. Should you just tell him you quit and save the embarrassment of being asked to leave.

“Hello.”

You jumped and turned to see Muichiro standing behind you. You quickly turned back around and began to wipe the tears off your face.

“May I join you.” He asked. You nodded still not sure you could speak without letting out more tears.

“Why do you cry?” He asked.

“I know you regret taking me in as your Tsuguko. You don’t have to tell me I'll pack my things and leave. I’m sorry I tried hard to make you proud, but I know I'm no good. I’ll train harder on my own then hopefully be good enough to be taken in by another Hashira. I didn’t mean to waste so much of your time.” You said tears falling in between.

“I see.” Muichiro said and stared off into the distance. “You are a brilliant swordsman. Did you not know this?”

You felt like maybe you might have passed out in the forest somewhere. There is no way Muichiro would be saying such kind words to you after the weeks of belittling you went through.

“But you… never have anything nice to say and it seems like you hate me.”

“I comment on what needs improvement. Isn’t that why you came to me, to improve?”

“Yes… I suppose that’s true.”

“And I do not regret taking you in as my Tsuguko. I never once said that.”

“You turned me down twice, it was hard not to assume you might be regretting saying yes the third time.”

“I denied your request twice because I do not remember becoming a Hashira. What good is a teacher that doesn't remember their own journey, and I have never had a Tsuguko before. It appears we both have some things to learn. I will comment on your skills that I notice from now on. Of which I have noticed many by the way. You should also know I feel honored that you fought so hard to be my Tsuguko. Thank you.”

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dufferpuffer · 9 days

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In continuation of the 'pillow prince/ss/' topic.. Snape sex hcs? I remember you said it's basically impossible to drag him into bed but I'D TRY.

You're just spoiling me, aren'tcha? First Remus now Sev... Severus Snape is devoted to duty. Its the only thing holding him together. How often does he even go to bed…? A full-time teacher, a spy, a death eater, Dumbledore's dark little knight - He probably considers the time he spends marking 'rest enough'.

His self-esteem is dead. So dead he has come to terms with its corpse and uses it as protection. He's been teased his entire life for his looks. By his parents, by his schoolmates, by his teachers, by his cult, by his students... He's proud of how it has hardened him. It's become part of his ego: He's heard it all before - and now the words run off his oily feathers like raindrops.

Having someone say they think him anything less than hideous? Baffling. But while Remus would become a flustered mess... I think Severus would stages-of-grief it. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression… Because his romantic, affectionate side is also a corpse. It died alongside his best friend and he's spent the last decade-and-a-half making sure it stays buried.

To bring it back? That will take a stubborn dedication that rivals his. It takes grit and damn near necromancy. He will fight back, too - because to raise it from the dead is to raise Lily along with it. That is the greatest hurdle: Best friend or love of his life - either way she was the only person he has been affectionate with. He will need to digest that. He hasn't worked through his grief yet, because it is a difficult thing to work through alone. …but he CAN reach Acceptance.

One step, one stage at a time - peeling down each layer of his onion, like an ogre... Things move slowly with Severus - and in the opposite order you might expect. I guess I will go through what a relationship would be like with Severus, in a sorta dot-point fanfic format:

First note: He is allergic to showing weakness - and what he considers a weakness can be... strange. Indulgence. Emotions, affection, touch, company - he has no time for that garbage. He is in control of himself, of his body, of his feelings, of his life. Meticulous, complete control. This man 'tops' exclusively**

He is ashamed of masturbation. It means he has lost control of his emotions - and it grinds against his ego like sandpaper. He almost never does it. Thinking about anyone in particular when doing it is an insult to them - and he hates feeling guilty. He keeps it simple and almost self-harmingly dry. He has more important things to be doing with his time than engaging with this weakness…

You make your interest in him clear. He goes through everything - he belittles and denies your feelings, he gets angry with you for bothering him, he asks you to stop saying such nonsense... and he gets frustrated that even when you've finally shut up, he is STILL dwelling on it. He spends so long just tossing things up, sorting through his grief, imagining it... so, SO sick of jerking off… …when the dam bursts - he fucks. If he is going to be spending all this time obsessing over these stupid feelings he may as well get something out of it. Only sex, though. Sex he is in control of. Clothes on, greedy, not pretty, not nice. 'Thats what you wanted from me, yes? Well you've gotten it. Happy?!?' ((He does not expect the answer to be 'yes'.))

He thinks one time was too many, and did it only to take it off his mind - and to stop having you bother him about it. But it is easier for you to get him to do it a second time. And then a third... fourth... The more times it happens - and nothing embarrassing or bad follows... well, if he has done it once, he may as well do it more, right…? You are evidently trustworthy. '…You may come to my chambers IF I call - at no other times. I am too busy to play silly games.' A casual physical relationship - to solve a problem of distraction and concentration. That's all.

He does start to call. Occasionally at first - and every time he almost shows surprise that you actually turn up. But he gets less and less surprised... and starts getting more and more needy. 'You're late. I sent for you half an hour ago. Do you think I am made of time?!' He doesn't even realize how needy he sounds, because this activity is now ingrained in his routine. He is used to it. And because he is used to it: He touches more. More clothes come off. But never his own. He has gone from 'hands-on-waist' fucking to caressing your naked body - slow rolls of his hips, making his own breathe shudder, enjoying every sensation.

One day his summons aren't replied to. At first he angry. How dare you. How DARE you waste his time!? The next time they are alone he snaps at you bitterly. 'Finally tired of me? Got your fill? Met a better man?' When the response is more along the lines of 'I was a bit ill' or 'I was out'... he realizes he has shown far too much of his hand. How embarrassing. He is speechless at his own foolishness. He showed an inch of vulnerability and expects to be raked through the coals for it. ...What he doesn't expect is acceptance, tenderness and respect.

He had forgotten that he wasn't the one to initiate this arrangement - that he was wanted. Desired. In his mind he had taken control: Everything happened when he wanted, where he wanted and in whichever way he wished. To be touched in a friendly way? To he apologized to - for being made to worry? To have make-up sex offered…? '…Yes. Alright.' Its the next layer peeled off. He starts listening to offers, enjoying being asked instead of being answered. It's still a casual affair - and yet seeing them talk to other people no longer makes his hackles raise in concern for his secrets. Running into them in the morning no longer makes his skin crawl with shame and embarrassment for the night before. He feels excited when they pay a visit in the midday, offering an impromptu meeting. It is oddly... comfortable.

Of course it can't always be sex in the midday. It is too much effort, takes too much time, energy and clean-up. It suits him fine when you jump on the chance to put him in your mouth. At first he is a little taken-aback - but it feels nice. He says nothing other than contented hums, but as you get better he groans and arcs his back a little. He doesn't care what happens when he finishes - swallow or not, as long as it is not a mess for him to clean up. …Well, he tries to be that callous about it… but it doesn't last long. There is a tenderness to the act he can't deny. It isn't the mutual-benefit fucking. This is a gift for him to enjoy. That realization settles and festers in him. It creates a soft feeling he doesn't recognize... and a desire not to owe you anything.

So, without much fanfare: he reciprocates. He gets you on his seat, or on his desk, and gets down on his knees... He is a little nervous about it - when was the last time he did this, if ever…? - But he has no need to be. He is a god with his mouth. It's his attention to detail. His devotion to getting things done thoroughly and properly - even this. What starts as an embarrassing action from the weakness of his heart turns into a strong pleasure for him. He LOVES oral. It isn't him losing control: it's him gaining it. Even when his hair is gripped and yanked, even if he is pulled close and suffocated a little on you - HE is making that happen. HE is making you do that. He never expected this to make him so happy, so hot. He never expected to undo the buttons of his high collar so his neck could move more easily, to unbutton and fold up his right sleeve so he could get his hands messy... To have enough fun to start saying some truly dirty things… 'That good, is it~?' 'My-! How delicate you are today!' 'Stop squirming. Too sensitive…? Just grit your teeth and bear it.' ...and he didn't expect to not be laughed at for such things.

He certainly didn't expect to get so into it that he kissed you to shut you up as you came. A shock to both of you… another wall crumbled. Turns out he likes that too. He starts initiating sexual activity with a kiss. He prefers kissing to talking. It is succinct and expressive. Walk into his office: as soon as the door is shut your back is pressed against it, wrists in his hands, his mouth against yours. If he starts losing control of the kiss he gently bites your lip, dragging his teeth along it teasingly. Your tongue invades his mouth before he has a chance to do it first: he just about shoves your hands into his robes, tearing into your clothes... This man lives for kissing now.

But he still doesn't realize this is more than casual, that this is something he needs… Until you chat. Its a quiet moment. You comment on the parchments rolled at the edge of his desk. 'Oh - that is just my own research into the effects of aconite. I had to work with it extensively a few years ago.' You take an interest, and he starts regaling deeper and deeper into his studies: how poorly documented others' research is; how it reacts to other ingredients; how modern brewing processes can draw so much more out of it - 'you know, the plant is often just passed off as toxic when even basic purification charms are enough to-' ...He is blabbering. On and on about a dull topic nobody cares about… yet you are listening. His jaw drops a little. He realizes that, for the first time in two decades, someone cares. Someone truly cares. About HIM. His thoughts, his interests... He never thought he could have this again. He didn't think that for the sex, either - but sex, compared to this, was easy to procure. He wants to kiss you again. But not for lust this time.

Suddenly it doesn't feel so embarrassing to allow his eyes to become wet, to draw a shuddering breathe as he builds the courage - of which he has masses of - to say something important: '…I am afraid I have come to love you.' It is a terrifying thing to say, but he has never once shied away from saying what is important, even if it results in pain. And yet this time, for once… he feels like he can trust that it wont.

** Many times later, he is laying down as his shirt gets unbuttoned, his collarbone kissed... He doesn't feel ashamed, even as he gently strokes his own dick, encouraging it to harden. He pulls his arms from his shirt sleeves, fearless of his dark mark being exposed. For once work is at the back of his mind as he allows himself to be pushed back down to into the pillows, chuckling as he is told: 'Shh… just lay still darling… I'll take care of you tonight…' ...And he does. Control well out of his hands and a smile on his face.

#severus snape #hp #headcannons

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