#this isn't like...a plea for sympathy or anything

[rederiswrites]

So there's a classic joke, repurposed for innumerable jobs and hobbies. It runs along these lines:

"Question: What does a blacksmith/farmer/glassworker do with a million dollars? Answer: Work 'til the money runs out."

And basically--uh. That's what we've done. When we moved here, we used equity from the old house, and withdrew an older 401K of my spouse's for downpayment and property improvement. And as we try to pull this place together and learn how to deal with it all and eventually make it financially stable, we've spent that down. And uhhhhhh it's gone. And we haven't reached any point of stability.

We don't yet have the sheep to a point where we can recoup feed and fencing costs through sales of wool/fleeces/lambs. We don't yet have the garden to a point where it reduces grocery costs. (Indeed, it still costs a great deal because it still requires substantial outside input.) The various trees will be years before they provide us any value. The chickens probably cost more than their eggs would, though their eggs are definitely better than we'd buy at the store. We don't produce any salable crops or added value products yet. The metal shop generally subsists on money the spouse makes with metal shop sales, which is a fantastic achievement I'm very proud of. On the other hand, the metal shop is essentially a second job for him, and he spends a huge amount of time and energy on it. My glass does not support itself, because I haven't put in enough effort, though it's clear that it could.

We also don't have most of those property improvements the 401K was supposedly for. Still have no permanent fencing. No equipment shed. No barn. No water points in the fields. No fucking dishwasher. At least we do have the tractor and a mower more or less adequate to the several acres of lawn we haven't ripped up yet.

The idea was certainly never to get rich off these things. It was to enjoy these things at a lower cost because we put in effort in place of money. But uh. We done run out of money and making up the difference is going to be a whole lot of effort.

So anyway I guess the moral is that being a first generation farmer is insanely fucking difficult and the economic reality is that even having a well-paying outside job can be insufficient to get started. We're gonna do it somehow anyway. But goddamn.

#this is ridiculous #this isn't like...a plea for sympathy or anything #it's more of a 'piece of our shared economic reality'

[tinybirbwrites]

the fall

a quick one-shot I wrote after playing the new archon quest, about the only thing that kinda bothered me. so this isn't particularly well-written or anything, just a quick, self indulgent little thing.

spoilers for the archon quest (3.2) ahead.

Watching Scaramouche, the so-called “False God,” desperately reach out for the electro Gnosis, hearing him beg with that heartbreaking expression on his usually resentful, cold face… And seeing Nahida, the Traveler and Paimon completely ignore his pleas in favor of using the Gnosis to save Irminsul, it made something twist inside your chest.

The cables and tubes attached to his back finally snapped from the strain he'd put on them, and you watched as he jolted forward.

“Hey—” you turned your head to tell the Traveler, Nahida, anyone, to catch him, but it was like they'd already forgotten about him completely. 

There was no time, and your companions were otherwise preoccupied, so you sprinted forward as fast as you could, trying to calculate his fall and where he would land, and how you'd even catch—

Of course, with only so little time to react and act, all you could do was brace yourself, reach out your arms and hope for the best.

One second later, the weight of another's body, combined with the velocity of a fall from great height had you slamming to the ground with a pained grunt. Your arms had to be either broken or dislocated from trying to accommodate Scaramouche's weight and inconvenient position, not wanting to hurt his head or break his neck. 

Upon quick inspection of the young man's body, he indeed seemed to still be intact—more so than you were, even. Looking at his eyes told a different story though, the dangerous, hate-fuelled light inside them had gone out, his expression empty, dead. 

You couldn't blame him. After everything he had done to get here, after finally getting what he'd wanted for years and years, it had been taken away from him far too quickly.

It's better this way, you told yourself, he's unstable and dangerous.

Contrary to your thoughts, you cradled his head to your chest like a mother would do with her child, gently pulling his body close as if to keep him safe from any more harm. He just looked so vulnerable and broken at that moment, it felt wrong to just leave him lying around like a doll. 

His expression didn't change much, only the slightest furrow of his brow betraying his seemingly lifeless state. He didn't fight you, though you couldn't tell whether it was because he didn't have the strength, or because he was lacking the will to. 

It was like all the fight had just left his body, not even opting to call you names like you'd expected him to.

You craned your neck around, voice slightly croaked as you called out, “Hey, guys, was no one gonna—” Your friends were gone. 

Okay, you thought, I get Irminsul is pretty important, but this is still kind of cold.

“...always the same.”

You looked down, surprised upon hearing his voice, previously so powerful and aggressive, now reduced to a mere whisper. 

“Always cast aside. Always abandoned. Always left with nothing. Always left empty.”

He was mostly talking to himself, lost in his own thoughts and pain, but maybe he could tell you were bothered by the complete lack of sympathy from your friends. 

“For what it's worth,” you said, matching his quiet tone, “I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Not until I know you'll be cared for, at the very least. Can't believe they'd just leave you lying around like scrap after a fall like that…”

Especially after witnessing the genuine fear and desperation on his face first-hand, when all Scaramouche had ever shown was a false smile and deep-rooted resentment. 

Scaramouche tilted his head slightly, leaning closer to your chest and pressing his ear against it. You watched in silence as he listened to your heartbeat with an almost wistful look on his face. Eventually, he closed his eyes, not waking even after you tried talking to him again. 

#scaramouche x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin scaramouche #belatedly added tag buT GOD THE FEELS LIKE #NO ONE CAUGHT HIM #THEY!!! DIDN'T!!!! CATCH HIM!!! #I'M SO MAD FR #they just 😐

[yesbutmakeitgay]

Just A King In A Rusty Throne

Valkyrie x Reader

Summary: You're friends with benefits with The King of New Asgard, you wish you were more than that, but The King would never allow it.

Word count: 2.6k

Friends with benefits, implied smut, nudity, angst with a happy ending.

A/N: I don't see a lot of love for my King Valkyrie, let's change that!

Masterlist | AO3

King Valkyrie slumps on her bed wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand satisfied. As soon as you regain your senses you sit up and start fetching your clothes, "You don't have to go," Valkyrie says gently, if you were facing her maybe you would have caught a glimpse of the lost puppy look that adorned her features.

"Isn't that the agreement?" Your tone is stoic, more so to remind yourself that getting further involved with The King would be unwise.

"I just mean not yet, you could stay a little longer if you want." Her voice is soft and inviting, one that she reserves only for moments like these. However you don't let the sweetness get to you.

You twist your neck to take a look at her still naked form, "What do you want?" There's a subtle acidity lacing your words.

She turns to lay on her side and looks at you intently with her captivating eyes, "I want whatever you want." At this point she would say anything she thought would make you stay longer.

You calculate your next move carefully. To any outsider this conversation would seem like a sweet exchange between lovers, but you both know it's a lot more complicated than that, starting by the very definition of your relationship, "I want to stay the night," you let out as a test to your adversary or so you convince yourself. Your bait is met with silence and that tells you all you need to hear, "That's what I thought." You finish putting your shirt on and aggressively stand up scanning the room to look for your shoes.

Valkyrie reaches her arm out for you, "No, come on, don't do that." The novelty of The King’s pleas has already worn off of you after many nights spent this exact same way.

You look her in the eye hiding your emotions, "Do what? I’m doing everything you want. I come here whenever you ask, stay as long as you wish and when you see me in public you don't acknowledge my existence."

Val gets up and quickly puts her clothes on, she walks around the bed to stand in front of you, "It's not like that, Princess." She softly tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Then how is it?" you respond instantly, shying away from her touch.

"The rules are different for me, I am The King," she explains, trying to get your sympathy.

"You are The King, you have the power and authority to do whatever you want." You aren't sparing her your pity.

When she realizes her plan won't work she gives it up and retaliates in your same cold tone, "I have an image to uphold."

Her words drive through you like a knife, if that's the game she wants to play, so be it, "I see," you simply say.

She only realizes what she said after it left her mouth, "That's not what I meant."

"Too late, you already said it." You walk out with your shoes still in your hand and a lone tear running down your cheek.

You hoped that was the last time you saw The King of New Asgard, or that's what you told yourself. You knew from the start you were never gonna get your way with her, yet you accepted her terms for the time you did get to spend together.

The arrival of a ship causes commotion all over the Kingdom, it wasn't very often that The King received guests. You recognize the outside of the vehicle and decide to go greet the visitor.

"Captain, it's good to see you," you reach out your hand for Carol to grab.

She accepts your handshake and gives you a smile, "You too." She is genuinely pleased to see you again. You had the opportunity to meet Carol some time ago while you were sneaking around with Val. The Captain is fully aware of Valkyrie's ways and doesn't like to meddle in her personal life, but she seems to have grown a soft spot for you even if your relationship is mostly professional. "Is Val around?" If anyone knows of The King's whereabouts Carol's money is on you, given the nature of your affiliation.

"I don't know, I've been kind of avoiding her." Your eyes go down to the ground for a moment.

Carol understands the meaning behind your words, "I'm sorry to hear that," she pauses, "I’m gonna go look for her, it was a pleasure." She does a good job of hiding her disappointment.

"Likewise," you respond. Before she leaves she places a cordial kiss on your cheek.

Carol finds The King in her place, they exchange pleasantries and deal with the purpose of her visit.

After they're done with the business side of things they begin to walk back to The Captain’s ship and she decides to bring up a touchy subject, "How's your Princess?" she hesitates.

Valkyrie is taken aback by the question, "I don't-we don't-anymore."

"So I’ve heard," Carol is quick to remark.

Val rolls her eyes, "Of course you have, you saw her?" There's a tinge of hope in her voice.

"Yup."

"She's been avoiding me for weeks." The longing in Val’s eyes is unmistakable.

Carol pouts, "Poor little you, what'd you do this time?" She's confident in her choice of blame placing.

"Oh, you know how it is, this one leaves and new one comes around." Valkyrie pretends to be unaffected, but Carol can see right through her.

The Captain makes a point of grabbing Valkyrie’s shoulder and making eye contact, "Just because it's what you're used to, doesn't mean it's what you want, or need."

After a few seconds The King breaks the eye contact and continues to walk staring straight ahead, "I know what I want."

Carol follows behind her with a sigh, "But it's different with her, you weren't sad when the other ones left."

"What do you know?" Val huffs.

They keep going the rest of the way to Carol’s ship and stand in front of it when they get there, waiting for the door to open.

"Yeah, what do I know about loss," Carol asserts before entering her home and flying off.

Valkyrie is left with a choice, she can ignore their conversation all together or she can admit that she finally allowed herself to care about someone and then screwed things up because she didn’t know how to handle it. If she’s being honest she hasn’t been able to get you out of her mind since the last time you saw each other.

A few days later you knock on The King’s office door to announce your presence, you open it before waiting for an answer and walk halfway in. Valkyrie eyes you up and down for a moment, making no effort to conceal her actions, "Princess, you're looking well, come on in," she instructs. You feel a little violated, but she’s done much worse in the past so you can manage.

You stand in the middle of the room with your arms crossed, "What do you want?" you demand.

"I need to speak with you, why don't you sit down?" Valkyrie keeps her composure.

"I think I'll stand." Your tone becomes more aggressive.

She tries to give you a friendly smile, "You don't have to be so…hostile."

You can’t even try to be cordial, "I do, actually, you are using your power to force me to stand before you," you refute, "which is kinda shitty." For lack of a better word. Val hadn't thought about it that way, but she tries not to dwell on it too much.

"I want to apologize, the last time we saw each other things didn't go so well, the way I spoke to you wasn't right." She’s clearly given a lot of thought to her word choice.

"Okay." You expect her to have more to say about the issue.

"So, do you forgive me?"

You realize that’s all she’s got and it is now your turn to speak, "Oh, uh, no."

"No?" The King cannot believe your refusal.

"No," you state more confidently.

Val is dumbfounded, "Well I don't know what else to do." You do appreciate her honestly, but there isn’t much more to appreciate about this conversation.

"Hope that your next plaything has less self respect," you snark, "am I free to leave now?"

Valkyrie’s ego suddenly shrinks, "I suppose I can't keep you here."

As soon as you close the door behind you, you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding in. You were usually pretty good at keeping cool and holding your ground, but King Valkyrie had become something of a weak spot of yours.

Val sinks into her chair, she really thought the apology would work to get you back. Why she wanted to get you back so badly? She wasn't sure, call it remorse or Carol's words finally getting to her.

The King has been having affairs every night this week. However she can't seem to enjoy them like she used to.

She comes out from under her sheets to look at whatever her name is, "I can't do this, I'm sorry." She gets up and walks to her closet to find some clothes, she's not gonna put her three piece suit back on, "It's not you, you seem great, I just can't, I'm going out."

She puts on a pair of shorts and a sweater as she makes her way to the door, "Take your time, you can help yourself to anything in the fridge, but please don't stay the night," The King urges.

She drags her feet to her office and collapses on her chair. She takes a big swig out of one of the many bottles she keeps there and buries her face in her hands, feeling the comfort of the alcohol burning her throat.

She presses a button on her desk that immediately triggers a call to Captain Marvel, it's the middle of the night, but she knows Carol doesn't work on a schedule.

When she picks up, Carol is working on the engine of her ship.

"Marv, you were right!" The beginnings of The King's tipsiness start to show.

"About damn time you admitted it, what are we talking about?" Carol responds plainly.

"I miss her, I’m miserable." Carol does not take her eyes off of the engine, but she has a good idea of what Valkyrie looks like right now.

"That's awful, Val, I’m so sorry you can't have meaningless sex anymore," The Captain taunts.

"I don't know what to do."

"Have you considered celibacy?"

"I want her back." Val sounds a little more sober somehow.

"Does she know that you want her back?" Carol asks with a little more tact, Goose hops on her shoulder to look at what she's doing.

"She's not exactly making it easy for me, when I called her to apologize she barely entered, didn't even accept it."

Carol stops her work and puts Goose down to finally look at Valkyrie, "Did you make her go to your office so you could apologize?"

"Yes?" Val responds bluntly. Carol pinches the bridge of her nose with a sigh, "What?"

"Okay," The Captain brings her hands to her hips, "you need to be less of a King and more like a being with a heart and feelings." Val looks at her beyond confused. "She likes you, you just have to get your head out of your ass," Carol rephrases.

"Oh."

"There you go, alright, good luck." Carol hangs up now that she's satisfied with their conversation.

Valkyrie finishes the rest of the bottle and stumbles back to her room, thankfully it's empty when she enters.

The King takes a few days to think about what Carol said and to consider her life choices.

You’re coming out of work for your midday break when you spot someone standing right outside the building. It takes you a moment to realize it’s Val without her three piece suit out in public. Once you do recognize her you avoid eye contact and try to walk past her, but she stops you by gently grabbing your arm.

You roll your eyes and reluctantly turn around, "What?"

Her eyes light up when they meet yours, "I cancelled the rest of your meetings for the day, I was hoping we could go for a walk."

"A walk?" You frown.

"Yes, not with The King, just with me." You’ve never seen her more vulnerable, not even fully naked on her own bed.

"Do I have a choice?" You still have your walls up high.

"Of course, it can be as quick as you want." That’s not the first time she’s said that to you. You consider her offer for a moment, she did get you out of work so you cautiously agree.

She begins to walk down the street and you follow behind her. "It has been brought to my attention that I have put you in very unfair positions in the past." She measures her words carefully. "I want to apologize for that."

"Thank you." Your tone is harsh, but you do mean it.

"I haven’t been able to be with anyone else since…"

"I’m flattered," you deadpan, "am I the best of your fuck buddies?"

She scowls at the term, "I’m trying to tell you that I am not the same without you."

"Well, that is not my problem."

"But I want it to be your problem."

You squint your eyes in confusion, "What?"

"Marry me," she blurts out making you fully look at her with wide eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, maybe?" she hesitates.

You cannot believe what’s happening, "You can’t just marry your fuck buddy, that’s not a thing, Val."

She stops walking and turns to face you with her whole body, "Can you please stop calling it that."

You stop and mimic her stance, "What do you want me to call it then?"

"A love affair?" She stumbles on her words.

You snort, "How much love was involved in this 'affair?’"

"More than I ever intended," she whispers, rubbing her own arm. Your heart begins to beat faster. Unsure what to answer you both continue to walk in silence, with every step you take you feel your walls crumbling down ever so slowly.

After a while, she speaks again, "Did you love me?" she almost pleads.

You glance at her from the corner of your eye, "What does it matter?"

"I think-I think I did love you," she chokes.

Your heart threatens to bear a whole in your chest, "You think?"

"It’s not a familiar feeling for me, I don’t know what to do with it."

"You don’t have to do anything with it, you can just feel it. It doesn’t hurt to not be an idiot about it."

She chuckles, "I really am sorry, I hope you can forgive me someday." This time, you can sense the sincerity in her voice.

"How sorry are you?" you smirk.

"Very sorry." The air between you feels lighter.

"Enough to let me kiss you in public?" You try to test her once again.

"I-" you scoff and are about to walk away at her uncertainty when she speaks again, "You want to kiss me?" There is a glimmer in her eyes, you can only give her a sheepish smile and before you know it she’s pulling you by the hips and connecting her lips with yours.

This is the most intimate moment you've had with Val despite the endless nights of passion you've spent together.

You break the kiss in need for air, but stay close to her, "I won't marry you, yet, but you can take me on a date." Valkyrie nods quickly, "Not with The King, just with you."

"I would love for nothing more."

Give Valkyrie some love and tell me your thoughts! I have more Val fics for you if you're good 😉💜💜

Tagging all the people who interacted with my last Valkyrie post because I can: @fionnemrys @murderbasketheassassin @clara-eternal @dapper-hydra @nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol @thorgood

#Valkyrie #king valkyrie #mcu valkyrie #Valkyrie x reader #tessa thompson #brunhilde

[yanderes-galore]

Blu medic with prompt 39 and 41?

Oh my... this'll have some heavy dark themes I can already tell, just a heads up.

Yandere! BLU Medic Prompts 39 + 41

"What will it take to get you to love me!?"

"I made this mark on myself to show you how much I love you!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Manipulation, Self Harm (Medic carves your name into his skin), Blood, Torture, Murder, Drugging, Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Jealousy, Forced relationship, (The author scared herself with this one, please repeat nothing in this. THIS IS MEANT FOR HORROR PURPOSES)

Medic was a man of devotion. Someone who, once he found someone to adore, would dedicate himself to them. No matter the cost, he'd give you everything.

Even if it damaged his own health.

In his dimly lit room, when his birds were asleep, he carved your name. His skin stung, burned when the scalpel tore into his flesh. Yet he'd do it all for you.

Your name dawns his arm like a brand. To him, it was to show how much he loved you. He loved you to the point he'd put your name into his skin.

He makes sure his wound scars. Cleaning it before bandaging it. Some couples tattooed their name on each other.

For Medic he wanted something a bit more permanent to show just how long his love for you will last.

He never showed you it until the time was right. He thought getting you to love him would be easy! He has such a charming personality!

He does everything for you. So when he learns you adore one of the other mercs more than him, after everything he's done... can you really blame him for breaking?

It didn't matter what team they were on, or what merc they were. Medic took his bonesaw and gave them a lesson. Only he could heal them, stealing you was much more of a betrayal than him taking their limbs for a little bit.

"You don't deserve sympathy. I've given myself to (Y/N) and you keep standing in my way...."

If only you truly knew what he did for you.... The torture, the murder, the blood.... All the scars he creates for your adoration.

The further he falls, the more unhinged he gets. The lines between reality and fantasy blur. All he can think of you, he isn't even aware he's scaring you.

You cry for him to stop. To get ahold of himself. You want him to stop harming the other mercs, to stop watching you so closely.

He can't hear you, not in his new mindset.

"What will it take to get you to love me!?"

He's desperate when you ignore him. Confused why you don't appreciate his efforts. Is this not what love was?

To do even the darkest deeds to show someone you care for them?

"I do what I do for you! Everything I do is to ensure I'm the best for you! Why are you so upset!?"

"You're hurting people! Even your own team! You're not you! Stay away!"

You're crying but it almost doesn't register in his mind. He was too busy trying to justify the blood and gore he created. Who cares if a little pain happens for the sake of your love?

"Hurting people? Isn't that fine as long as it's for you? I'd even hurt myself if it meant I could have you all to myself! See!?"

He raises his sleeve, you begin to scream and cry more. There sits a scar, a scar of your name he carved himself. Carved in pretty handwriting made by him.

"I made this mark on myself to show you how much I love you!"

Medic smiles, unhinged. If love is a drug he may have overdosed. Gone insane over you as his obsession.

"The pain of me and others doesn't matter as long as I have you! Now stop running and come to me.... I am yours!"

You barely have a chance to move when he lunges at you, a syringe pointed to your neck. Your pleas and shake your head, wishing to be let free. Medic sighs and injects you with the drug.

"I will do anything to have you..."

He leans back, seeing your struggling stop. He then picks up your limp body and cradles it towards him. His eyes held no remorse, in fact they were flowing with obsession.

"Even hide you away if I have to."

#yandere team fortress 2 #yandere tf2 #yandere blue medic #yandere tf2 medic

[juniperkinglet]

Okay okay jumping off this great post from @neilsexy about Nicky hate to also talk about my Riko thoughts.

I find the treatment of Riko by the fandom fascinating. Calling it The Azula Effect cuz it's just like how a lot of Zuko fans treated Azula.

Riko is an antagonist, a villain, yes. He's literally there specifically for you to hate, so if you hate him, he's fulfilled his narrative purpose. BUT! There's this weird puritanical pathologizing of Riko and Riko fans that our protagonists don't receive, which I think points to modern fandom's whole "evangelical conservative beliefs with a gay coat of paint" thing.

Riko is a villain, but he's also an abuse victim whose only outlet is abusing others (and he is encouraged to do so by his environment). He holds a terrifying level of power over the protagonists, which masks how little power he has over his own life.

Riko isn't a sadist for just for the fuck of it. There is a meaning to his cruelty. When he abuses people, it's an attempt to keep his delicate social standing and illusion of power--which is all he has--by discouraging his peers from acting against him. There is a meaning to Andrew's cruelty as well, and fandom is totally fine with you sympathizing with that meaning and still loving Andrew despite his violence... but that same fandom will discourage you from having any sympathy for Riko's meaning and treat him as some special case of Inexcusable. Not to say Andrew's actions are on par with Riko's, or to discount all the work Andrew did to grow, but there is hypocrisy there.

Folks will designate Riko as evil from birth rather than circumstance, saying a lot of shit that sounds very "mentally ill people are inhuman monsters" and "sinners can never be forgiven and will burn in hell for eternity." This whole idea of "good person vs bad person" instead of "good actions vs bad actions" is just unhelpfully reductive.

Also, the very force driving Riko is the desire of a traumatized kid to be loved by his family. But because his family are cruel mob bosses, the only means to gaining love he sees are through enacting that same cruelty. And the great tragedy of Riko, and what makes him such a compelling character to me, is that all of that cruelty he used as a shield and a plea couldn't protect him or garner him love in the end.

Riko never had a Wymack (an "Uncle Iroh" so to speak). He never had someone who believed in him, which is what made all the difference in the lives of the Foxes. Because Riko was born a Moriyama, he never had an escape or a second chance, and his life was never going to end in anything but a bullet to the head when he became a nuisance. That's the difference between him and our protagonists. Not some special evil gene that made him incapable of humanity. He was a traumatized and flawed human being just like the protagonists, but unlike them, he never had an opportunity to grow. I know I'm overly optimistic, but I believe that everyone can change if they have the drive and resources to do so. It's come from a hard reworking of my beliefs to move away from punitive justice and towards restorative justice. And it's a theme I found prevalent in AFTG.

So why aren't fans allowed feel sympathy for Riko? It feels like wildly missing the point of the series to insist he is the one exception to its themes. You don't have to excuse any of a character's actions to sympathize with them or believe they deserve a second chance.

#aftg #riko moriyama #fandom meta #this is longer than i wanted it to be but not nearly as long as it could have been. i could write a whole essay #i'm forever out here collecting the most hated of blorbos

[translations-dark-matter]

Living as an Extra in an Omegaverse novel

Chapter 102

The company was thrown into chaos due to Ha Jin-woong's kidnapping of Yoo Jin-ha.

The images of the two people, who were kidnapped and bound, were covered by a mask and appeared in various news reports. While anyone familiar with Yoo Jin-ha could recognize her, the identities of the others involved were not revealed until the end.

In all the articles, there was no mention of the other person as if there was an agreement. Instead, Ha Jin-woong faced severe criticism along with provocative words like "pipe assault" that accompanied the reports.

Despite the clear target and purpose of this deliberate attack, Ha Jin-woong couldn't even flinch.

Various articles targeted Ha Jin-woong, starting from the truth about the former owner's family to Ha Jin-woong and the illegitimate child Ha Min-hyuk.

Chairman Ha Cheol-gyu was furious at the fight among his grandchildren, and the board of directors was formed to figure out how to settle this situation. They said all sorts of allegations were exchanged.

Ha Jin-woong had no idea if he could step foot in the company again, with his face plastered all over the media. It was even Ha Cheol-gyu himself, not someone else, who slapped Ha Jin-woong's cheek and expressed his despair.

"Hyung, please help me. They're all blaming me and saying I should go to prison."

Ha Jin-seong, who had come because he wanted to have a meeting in the prison, sighed at Ha Jin-woong's plea.

"You have a lawyer, don't you?"

"It's what the lawyers said. Going to prison is the best option. They all say they won't protect me."

As Ha Jin-woong's voice grew louder, Ha Jin-seong grimaced as if a headache was coming on. He firmly held his temples as Ha Jin-woong grabbed onto the hem of his clothes.

"Hyung, can't you step up? The lawyers are all like puppets following Grandfather's orders. So, hyung, use your connections..."

"Jin-woong-ah."

At Ha Jin-seong's earnest call, Ha Jin-woong trembled.

"That's why it would've been better if we stopped before this happened. Isn't that right?"

"Y-Yeah, you're right. I should've listened to you, hyung."

Ha Jin-woong vigorously nodded his head. He was trapped in the prison, unable to do anything at the moment, and was desperate for Ha Jin-seong's help.

"So, just help me this once."

Ha Jin-woong grasped the hem of Ha Jin-seong's clothes with all his strength, as if it could save his life.

"Now?"

However, Ha Jin-seong's dry voice cut off Ha Jin-woong's desperate plea without any sympathy.

"You're the one who attacked me and came at me with a stick, claiming I hit you."

"Yeah, and now you're acting like this?"

That was why Ha Jin-seong wasn't willing to help Ha Jin-woong.

"It wasn't me, it was Ahn Se-hyeon."

Ha Jin-woong's eyes spun around clearly, and Ha Jin-seong leaned in as if encouraging him to continue.

"Don't you know that Ahn Se-hyeon pushed you away?"

Ha Jin-woong quickly found an excuse and continued speaking.

"At that time, Ahn Se-hyeon clearly chose Shin Tae-oh. He betrayed me, said he abandoned me. That's why I wanted to personally punish him."

Ha Jin-woong's voice grew louder as he denied that it was due to any sense of injustice towards Ha Jin-seong. Starting as an excuse, his voice soon became resolute as it turned into the truth.

"Now it's your turn, hyung. Get me out of here. I won't come back for the rest of my life if I leave the country."

"When I told you to leave, you resisted, but now you're willing to give in so easily."

Ha Jin-seong chuckled as if he found it amusing, letting out a sigh full of contemplation. It seemed like he was considering whether he was drawn to Ha Jin-woong's proposal.

"I've always considered you my little brother."

"Yeah, I'm your only little brother."

Hope began to show on Ha Jin-woong's face as a smile started to form.

"Hyung, there are those people. If we can get them to move, there will be an easy way to get me out. We can expose judicial corruption or have the prosecutor conduct an investigation..."

Since they specialize in that area, it should be possible.

"Connecting scenes of judges and prosecutors having coffee can weave a complex web."

"That's a good idea."

To shake up the trial by targeting judges and prosecutors... Ha Jin-seong nodded as he suddenly stood up from his seat.

"But what should we do? Jin-woong-ah."

Ha Jin-seong put his hands in his pockets and looked down at Ha Jin-woong with a blank expression, almost as if it was their first encounter.

"They have their own tasks to do. It would have been better if you had thought of a different way. It's a pity."

"What? Hyung, just a moment. Hyung."

"The visitation time is over."

Ha Jin-seong turned around, looked at the door, and spoke without giving a single glance to Ha Jin-woong.

"Are you really going to get me out? Hyung!"

Ha Jin-woong struggled, being held back by the police officer. His desperate pleas to look at him were seemingly effective as Ha Jin-seong calmly turned around.

"Because of you."

Although it was Ha Jin-woong who was clearly shouting, it was Ha Jin-seong's voice that resounded heavily in the visitation room.

"I couldn't do anything because of you. I couldn't even try."

He was just about to make a move. He didn't know Tae-oh well before, so he threatened him. Now, he was trying to act a little differently.

When Ha Jin-woong tried to hit Tae-oh, Shin Tae-oh took the blow instead, and I lost my position.

"So don't rely on me. Now, you have to live on your own."

"Hyung, please don't... Hyung!"

Ha Jin-woong tried to turn Ha Jin-seong's heart around somehow, but Ha Jin-seong had already left the visitation room.

***

During his time with Yoo Jin-ha, Ha Min-hyuk focused on comforting his heart, no matter how his company was doing. He felt that it was a good decision to hand over the consortium project to Ha Jin-seong.

Yoo Jin-ha was pretending not to be affected but it was clear that the trauma from the kidnapping was still vivid. Ha Min-hyuk, too, would startle at the slightest everyday contact if he didn't approach gently, unraveling the pheromone.

From time to time, Ha Min-hyuk visited Shin Tae-oh with Jin-ha, monitoring his condition and gradually returning to their daily routine. Ha Min-hyuk couldn't stop himself from being thankful to Shin Tae-oh and his secretary for stopping at this point and not going any further.

They had put work aside for a while and were starting to regain their normal lives when Ha Min-hyuk heard something strange from one of his subordinates.

"I heard that this project is going through a complete change, is that true?"

Ha Jin-seong, who wasn't surprised even when Ha Min-hyuk suddenly showed up, calmly replied.

"Well, the consortium is going to be dissolved."

"Now?"

"The consortium only has value when it's trying to achieve what I want. It's not something that can't be handled even if it's a big project."

As Ha Jin-seong spoke willingly, an oddly constricting feeling arose in Ha Min-hyuk. Despite Ha Min-hyuk trying to release the tension by bringing down his collar, it didn't improve, possibly due to psychological factors.

"You're dissolving the consortium because you can't handle it. You're creating a new brand, or rather, you're flipping everything I planned. There's no time to start over from the beginning. It's not something to break or not break lightly."

"You can prepare again."

"And what about the losses? Will you bear all the damages and compensation? Or maybe it will even lead to a lawsuit."

Ha Min-hyuk was convinced that dissolving the consortium between companies wasn't simply a promise that could be broken, but Ha Jin-seong remained firm. It meant that the decision had already been made.

"You don't need to worry about that. There won't be any damages or compensation."

"Don't say it so easily. If you take over the project, take responsibility for it."

"I will take responsibility."

It wasn't the reaction I had hoped for. In response to Ha Jin-seong's answer that he would proceed with dissolving the consortium, Ha Min-hyuk reluctantly brought in someone else.

"Grandfather won't like it. The situation is already bad enough, and now the project is falling apart."

"It won't fall apart."

Ha Jin-seong smirked and called for his secretary. As she entered, he handed her a USB from the drawer.

"Deliver this to Director Jo."

"Understood."

As the secretary left with the USB, Ha Jin-seong picked up his tablet and checked today's news article.

"What's that?"

I had a feeling that it was somehow related to the recent events.

Ha Jin-seong didn't give a complete answer. Ha Min-hyuk pondered on what to do and followed the secretary outside. Just then, he stopped in his tracks as he saw her handing the USB to a man.

"Mr. Ha asked me to give it to you."

He wondered who Director Jo was, but he had seen the face a few times. He was affiliated with the company, but it was unclear what exactly he did... Ha Jin-seong's right-hand man.

It probably wouldn't be something good. Ha Min-hyuk went straight to find Ha Jin-seong, prepared to confront him.

"You can't approach this based on personal emotions. The project should proceed according to the plan..."

"Min-hyuk."

Ha Min-hyuk grimaced at the low tone in Ha Jin-seong's voice. It contained the authority that he had become familiar with from being called by his name.

"Do you want to play the role of my only younger brother? It's difficult for me if you come at me like this, going off-topic. By doing that, you lose any rights to exercise over the project, handing it over to me."

"It was you who assured me that you would handle it well."

"Yeah. I'll handle it well. On my own."

From the natural response, Ha Min-hyuk understood why this conversation wouldn't continue.

"You intended to start over from the beginning, didn't you?"

Ha Min-hyuk's expression hardened as he realized that persuading him wouldn't work in this situation.

"Aren't you going to leave?"

"Ahn Se-hyeon won't like it either."

Without any further response, Ha Jin-seong turned his head and looked away, and Ha Min-hyuk walked out with heavy steps.

The secretary who had met with Director Jo greeted him with a bow and passed by Ha Min-hyuk, entering the director's office.

"Expose the news immediately. That's why we have a pretext..."

Ha Jin-seong's voice flowed through the crack in the closing door. Ha Min-hyuk stepped back as his eyes met the secretary's. As the door closed, blocking out the noise, Ha Min-hyuk was left alone and let out a long sigh.

He couldn't just let Ha Jin-seong have his way. It would not only impact SR Construction but also the person who first initiated this.

And...

"Jin-ha."

The face of Jin-ha, who took on a new role in this consortium, came to mind. This project was an opportunity for him, who couldn't fully return to his previous daily life, to focus on something else.

How disappointed would Jin-ha be when he finds out that the consortium is falling apart?

If I had known this would happen, I shouldn't have handed it over from the beginning.

If it weren't for Se-hyeon's influence, Ha Jin-seong wouldn't have changed like this. But I've never really thought about it.

Me?

Knowing what kind of person Ha Jin-seong is, I didn't entirely trust him and hand everything over to him. In the end, it was all my fault that it turned out like this.

Feeling the weight of responsibility weighing on his shoulders, Ha Min-hyuk took out his phone and immediately made a call to someone.

"This is Ha Min-hyuk. I would like to meet you right now."

Prev / Next

[yandereheadcanonsideas]

yandere Esdeath

❤Yandere Esdeath❤

Esdeath is known for her merciless prowess on the battlefield.

Everyone fears her, and she revels in the terror she instills. She thrives off the pain and suffering she inflicts on others, especially you.

She adores the fear you show and the agony you endure. It's no secret how sadistic Esdeath truly is; it has caused countless deaths, chaos, and nightmares, and she takes satisfaction in every drop of blood spilled.

Esdeath wants to be the most feared, the cruelest, and the unchallenged dominator. She IS the embodiment of terror, and she expects you to be just as, if not more, terrified of her than anyone else, because she wants your fear more than she wants anything else. She craves your constant dread, the acknowledgment that she is the most horrifying force, especially to you. That you will always submit to her cruelty and never resist, ever. And most importantly, that you dread her and will always dread her, forever.

She won't admit it, but she lives for the screams and pleas for mercy. She wants to be the one and only nightmare you have. You're her most precious victim, and no amount of horror from other sources could compare to the terror you bring her.

Esdeath is a very possessive tormentor. Her cruelty has caused so many different types of suffering.

She wants all eyes on her torments, and that's how she likes it, most importantly when your eyes are on her. She stands by "what's tortured is hers," and no one escapes what belongs to Esdeath. Hell hath no suffering like the one she inflicts, let alone the anguish brought by this very ill-tempered sadist.

There will be as many nightmares as there has to be for her to make a point to those not to escape her twisted grasp. She would use any means to set the whole world ablaze if need be just to keep her real torture with her. She will use whatever torment necessary to get protection for both you and her.

Once she's forced to continue her reign, she'll keep you right in the center of her gruesome displays, just to have you experience the suffering and pain. Even though she doesn't necessarily need to sleep, she likes to watch your restless nights, hearing the rhythmic beating of your terrified heart.

Esdeath would love to torment you, breaking you down physically and psychologically, giggling and laughing as she pushes you to the brink of madness. Playing around with your deepest fears. She isn't all about causing pain, she likes her softer moments as well, relishing in the moments of despair and vulnerability. As her victim, she'll have you following after her and attending to her wherever she goes, she likes to be pampered, but that doesn't mean she won't torment you in the same way.

She wouldn't even hide her relationship with you from anyone, putting it out there in the open for everyone to witness. She doesn't care what others think of your suffering as long as they keep their sympathy away from you; they can watch as they please. But only she gets to break you, torment you, and make you feel the depths of despair, otherwise, anyone who tries will have to deal with the unrelenting wrath of Esdeath.

She's definitely possessive of your suffering. She wants to be the only one to torment you and make you feel things, but that doesn't mean others can't witness it; they just have to keep their empathy to themselves or she'll have them suffer too. Esdeath doesn't like to get her hands dirty when it comes to fighting; she doesn't even fight. She'll use others to get her way.

That means she'll use whoever to ensure no one saves you from her torture.

Esdeath will punish you in a few different ways, but not all the time. She'll get rough with you, breaking you down a little more each time. She will punish you psychologically, plunging you into the depths of despair or never letting you find a moment of peace at all. She'll bind you in the most horrifying and twisted scenarios just to watch you suffer without any escape, all the while relishing in the horror she inflicts.

She's not really one for isolating you because she can't keep herself away from your pain for too long. She's tried once before but broke only an hour or two without your torment. She's grown so used to having you suffer with her all the time, night and day, that she couldn't bear it.

But she doesn't punish you often or at all anymore because you're her devoted victim, and you endure all of her torment. She doesn't need to make you learn your place because you already have, and it's in the depths of her nightmares, existing with her.

That's her way of showing her love💔

#yandere writings #yandere esdeath #esdeath #akame ga kill #yandere esdeath headcanon #yandereheadcanon #yandere headcanons #yandere esdeath heacanon

[randomclam24]

I found some fulfillment in making music playlists back on YouTube before the perma-ban, even if no one else seemed to give a reaction

I learned both The Entertainer and Maple Leaf Rag on piano - why am I so lazy?

Update I've been up all night Everything about the Luciferian "true self" - that must hinge around the trauma said to result from an extreme situation as a three-to-four-year-old (that causes the personality split)

What do you want from me? >

Update Unironically I always saw material ike Elfen Lied like a vindication of all that kind of Luciferian crap

I didn't like when someone said, in supposing, it was just "grimdark for its own sake" - that implies it had no real purpose

Honestly if it *was* just grimdark for its own sake - taking that seriously - that would imply that it itself is Luciferian

When it comes to any further mishaps with "midwits", I really just don't want any further issues. I don't want to be drug down into a lower echelon, so to speak. Don't judge me

Weeks ago, I said I don't know what I want, even while getting drunk, hoping to have that remove my inhibitions, and that made me angry. If all this is accurate, then "no shit"

I wish this world had any such outlets

Part of me wants to be as far from people like my boomer-ass parents as physically possible

It was my dad that did it

And I hope it's understood that it's not merely about physical removal - it's about mentally removing myself from anything to do with

I don't want to go on in things like my music playlists being completely not understood - I don't want them to come off as ear-piercingly loud, but at the same time [The internet was completely cut off extensively while I tried to post this part specifically] [and shadow-removed afterward!] And while I'm at it, I don't care for people to give me that snark humor like they usually have - what is snark? Snark is low-level

Update I don't think it's reflected through anyone else I know, that what I experience subjectively through some of my choice music out there is something i think would die off if I did

So i.e. give me that flak like I'm going to fuck it up (P.S. I actually know how to drive)

Update (That kind of flak was unironically people's focus before now)

I don't even know if I believe in that split-personality stuff, but studies have been done that it can occur in that age range So with that said, I don't know

So I can spill the beans about emotions you don't know, and they would continue to not be known - no avail!

Update That much isn't "grifting" - that's a legitimate plea

Update Most direct example of a potential split-personality case: Mario 7/29 Build's OST that's about half an hour long that goes into the Les Damnes in reverse music only to cut off with the original Mario 64 credits music like it never happened

Update I want somebody to scare me like I've been scared before

Update All that means I should be avoided

8/4 My life has no purpose. I'm just going to bide my time. That's it.

Update Okay, it's morning. I shouldn't be allowed to speak anymore.

Update If there was ever a point at night when my dad isn't in his office and actually goes to bed, then I could pull off the home phone verification

Update It is the middle of summer. Wherever I go that would be in addition to when I get to be driven out somewhere already, the heat would be bearing down the entire way there, because I wouldn't be in a car with air conditioning. I have a driver license, but I asked if mom trusts me driving one of their cars, and she definitely said no. And the only reason it doesn't feel like we're relatively isolated from the rest of the world is because by car the time requirement is shortened down to about five minutes in any direction plus the time required to actually enter a neighboring county. It seemed like there was some leeway with mom's sympathy over the fact that I couldn't drive anywhere myself and I wanted to, so she will drive me places sometimes, by my little sister has been driving one of their cars by necessity the whole time and only just recently got her own.

Update Before, I drove a car that was essentially handed down to me when my mom got a newer one, just for whatever reason. She sold it later because she didn't want to pay the insurance, so there it went. Now I haven't driven in long enough, she doesn't want me to drive myself even with the excuse my sister had. I don't have that reason, but still, now that she has her own, it should be freed up.

I want to just say I have $55, take me to such and such restaurant

Update I asked but didn't specify anything other than that I want to go out to a restaurant, and she said tomorrow morning, and that she would take me to Wal-mart if I wanted

What else have we got that I like to get regularly? There is the bread bowl at Panera Bread, which in St. Louis we've usually just called the St. Louis Bread Company. Basically the aftermath of the soup being cleared out is that the entire bowl tastes like it's been dipped.

Update Okay, so I get it with broccoli cheddar soup. That way it's cheesy.

My main choices for restaurant right now are either something with burgers, or review Buffalo Wild Wings with all their sauces.

Well, it's not like I haven't had any of the burgers before. I guess I'll shill for that.

Update I always like chicken tenders, so I guess that's what I'm going to get.

Update From what I've heard about people that frequent there seriously, my eyes feel like they get sunken in just by thinking about it.

I wanted it because it's the new experience

8/5 night Last week, I bought a 4-pack of Monster because I hadn't tried any in a long time. I think that should be cut out altogether. I don't like the aftereffects. Also, I'm going to go the next week without alcohol - any.

If I was going on absolute preference for where to eat tomorrow, I would go to A&W because I love root beer. But it's not like I haven't had that lately.

Update later It's closed on Saturday.

My dog will just come out of nowhere and start licking me in the face.

Wow, it's so bad that now that I've spoiled relations to whatever extent, now I can't layer ten thousand "Looks like you're going to the Shadow Realm, Jimbo" No that [always] would have been in bad taste

He crossed this nigHgea icnrtoos stehde sthhaidsow nriegHaeglacmr oisnsteod thteh isshadonwi grgeaalminto the shadow realm

I guess we're just going to Wal-mart then

It appears you are about to enter the Shadow Realm Jimbo.

Would you like: A: Bag of fries [Description: When eaten, you recover about 24HP.] B: Fitness Gram Pacer Test

8/5

Update Tonight, we're going to a place that serves both hot wings and pizza.

Based on our last visits to Wal-mart, we went to Aldi first so I could see if they still had pork rinds, and I got three Clancy's hot & spicy pork rinds, because they were cheap. Then when we got to Wal-mart, they had restocked on them and even had multiple flavors So I've got a jumbo size BBQ Mac's. There's also a regular size bag of both jalapeno cheddar and salt & vinegar. They really had pork rinds in that flavor. And since they were so good, I got a salt & vinegar bag of Uglies chips, and mom even got a BBQ-flavored one.

And I lied about not getting any alcohol It turned out this way because it turns out I don't really have the choice to go to any restaurant I want. Also, if they're willing to get the hot wings to accommodate me, that's enough, and I've had just about everything else.

They had Flamin' Hot pork rinds, but it was another brand, and I just didn't want to actually eat Flamin' Hot pork rinds

Update after dinner I managed to get the "red hot" chicken wings and tabasco sauce. It was already such a thing with my mom about how hot they were going to be on their own. When I added the tabasco sauce, the wings were already hot enough on their own I couldn't taste the difference. The tabasco was only rated three flames out of five. Now I agree with - no, can *only* agree with the meme about the guy looking like Goku serving white people their food where the customer asks, get me some really hot sauce, and he picks out the sauce labelled "extra mild for white people" - now that you know, it's the allegory of the cave variant where you just see a giant monster on a hellscape and it says you're here forever - the end

She looked at me like I was going to get myself killed on these things. But that could be the gangstalking.

Don't get me wrong. It was hot. But did I even get the sniffles? No

Fact: All I have to show is pork rinds of different flavors. I already knew all of this shit

Update There are outages for 4chan having been reported since this afternoon

Update For the 2025 inauguration, Donald Fred Fuckstone achieves terminal blowhard

"I know so many people that would be mad"

Update If the world inside my private space starts to feel like a bunker or a fox hole, what does that make the outside world? I've heard it named an open-air prison, but I don't see it like that's going to stick. In a way, I can see the metaphor of a trench run, but that is implying that most people give a fuck among these anonymous users and aren't just shitposting. That's not the majority from what I've seen

Maybe even anons are making a mistake where zoomers are said to be by just about everybody: they're thinking all the irony of their shitposting-living just transfers off of them to Clown World

I mean, to an extent, I can get away with doing that here. So

Update It seemed like low-hanging fruit at the time, but on a YouTube playlist that I didn't back up, I found the similarity between Floor 555 (used the instrumental) and the Katz theme But I remember someone commenting on Floor 555 that it sounds like the calm before the storm type of vibe

8/6 night, practically morning Holy shit the site is back

If I'm drunk and I can have the ideal world where everyone can connect to each other like it's classic colonial America plus,

F--- - this is like a dream I had about angel music but didn't remember a lick of it - I told my mom about that as a kid and that somehow brought her to tears

What does it say about the state of the country if Denzel Curry also mentioned having a split personality in Blood In / Blood Out, in addition to Kanye having "bipolar", which is in my book a repression to a fault of the same thing?

Also, "anyone can kill someone - that don't make you a real man" - what actually produces Mother 3 on the N64DD? But also, since a project for that recreation is already underway, I remembered, back in the day I already saw a recreation of the Pigmasks in high detail in a recreation of New Pork City where the homonculus fiend creature was one of the main points of the server's events to stay away from, in Garry's Mod - just tonight, I saw a video stating that the developers claimed that, even in their consideration of porting to the Nintendo Gamecube, it *still* wouldn't solve the limitations the expanded project ran into - so it's anyone's guess what *really* held it back, but when it comes down to it - visually, Garry's Mod is 7th-gen! I saw those visuals and was kind of inspired by it.

When i looked up the Yeezus playlist, one extra track that was included was the one where Kanye basically lays out, sometimes the worst thoughts are next to the best/brightest. But I'm sure that pertains to the split personality dichotomy, if you follow along. [I Thought About Killing You - YouTube

This is the one, so you know]

And I kept a Notepad document for this occasion, for adequate review before posting: "Half of what appears in Mother 3's OST would seem to be in accordance with what the guy by the lakeside just outside town at the beginning of Earthbound said about wanting to serenade the world with his haunting melody One example from while writing this:" Mother 3 OST "Restored" Cumbersome Guys - YouTube

"I think I might just genuinely be saying that with hate - in mind"

"Also, from the images that I compared to that one video over some different level of fear that would keep a marine up at night - I didn't mention, because it didn't last that long, but the first time Walter Sullivan actually shows up to your front door, which isn't even a necessary event in the gameplay's continuity - that was unforgivable. That was the first time, though, and it happened to be the PS2 version. I don't remember if it was smooth texturing or not. Like all trauma impacts us, what am I meant to do with scary moments that are unforgivable like that It's as if no one else else experiences this, because that kind of talk doesn't really float out there If they did, American scary movies would be seen as one of two: either too scary to even continue looking at the screen because of their implications, or not scary enough because they're ultimately tame in their presentation as a medium"

"If Kanye's "muh bipolar personality disorder" deal as it relates to "muh split personality" has any meaning, there's something in the fact that I love you all and hate you all with a passion at the same time"

Allegedly, with the man tasked with giving the news that the project had been shut down executively, "there was a three-hour session of just viewing and screenshotting the gameplay" - "Ironic take while 3AM (on the dot!) - killing a fuck-nigga isn't going to bring back Mother 3 bitch"

Update after some deleted ones Okay, I have one: there are ways to get people to interpret what you're doing as a cry for help, but what do zoomers do in the irony of Clown World?

8/6 I'm just evidence that evil people run the world.

8/7 If teaching religion was a matter of parents properly teaching their kids from the start as members of the state, realistically, by now they formally have an obligation to rewrite religion so that it's all about obedience. Stop all this lottery-ticket mentality with how there's inherent power in God. That could encourage independents.

Update I realize drinking as a more regular thing than once in a while is degenerate. But I really just don't like you people, so I'm going to do it knowing that.

Here, get me UDK again, with that tutorial that was advertising to be within half an hour. At least it's doing *something*. It's not being productive - which really would just contribute to my personal funding anyway, which I don't care about at all.

Update Just like I'm sure if I got a job, the jews behind the scenes would work through every inroad to trash it, if people saw me actually working with something that's supposed to be fancy like UDK when the rest of Mario beta lore is in the N64 format, everyone would just be like wow, and then they would trash that socially

I don't want to be caught with something ostensibly gay and weird, so I'm just going to deliberately not pursue my actual passions, because that's what they are inherently

Update There's hardly a moment when I'm thinking seriously that at least one of my parents isn't gravitated toward the kitchen to be stepping around directly above me, timed according to gangstalking.

Update Already threw up because I had four boiled eggs before that and a lot of pork rinds

I will never amount to anything - yeah I know

Update I can't get this shit down without wanting to throw up - I don't know what was going right before - it was at higher proofs. In doing so, you're doing it while intaking less actual liquid.

Update If I can't get this down to drink myself to death by alcohol poisoning, what else am I meant to be here for? Getting paid to be impotent on the clock?

I already have all the pork rinds I want and can afford them on a weekly basis, so I don't need anyone's advice. I already have all the money in the world. Now what

Update I think when it has to keep coming down to self-censored questions like [redacted], you have to realize, when you're speaking as an American, you're not talking as this enlightened group - you're speaking as a tax farm

Near-immediate update So yeah, let's change it to "oh say can you simp"?

And instead of "by the dawn's early light" - since there's no context that would put itself with such a concept as what the national anthem suggests, you can make this backdrop the really hairy anus of a mixed-race

The whole point should be to officially change the thing so everyone can only stare the reality dead in the face from this point forward - so if you're going to do it and have it not be completely forced, just skip all that and start hailing Lucifer according to the 33rd-degree doctrines ad infinitum for the rest of eternity, because that's all she wrote

Update So why isn't 30+ degree Freemasonry the formal religion? It's because they have to keep it secretive? One of the things said in the "Esoteric Cannibalism of the Old World Order" video was that China was the most ancient hotbed of human cannibalism - might be what they're really getting at with "ancient Chinese secret"? Just saying So then how much of our own people do you think are actively engaged in human cannibalism, in that capacity? There's *supposed* information that *ten percent* are actually Luciferians under this system of Masonry.

Update This is hard to explain, but some games have an "otherworld" - or is that really just Silent Hill? There's Persona, too, but some people don't want to acknowledge that. Okay.

That's what I wish in some capacity I could explore by my own means. That's a lot healthier than saying "fuck everybody"

Update I'm always going to be preoccupied with what I'm worried about. At that point, you might as well make it my focus.

Update /pol/ isn't even interesting. All that happens when I think everything is worthless as an effect of this is triggering a marauding sound effect from a nearby engine running by from gangstalking. I'm getting groomed. Getting groomed preventatively is all I have to live for!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aTJ_rxWd3Q (looped at half volume in the meantime) Hey everybody, self-proclaimed final boss of the internet here (no) (I never did but - the point is that's what /pol/ got called, so by proxy)

I have absolutely nothing to report

Reviewing another new episode of By the Numbers

If this was another life (I wouldn't have given up, on principle?)

The culture of media used to feel like something to constantly, constantly get caught up with, it was so active. When was that, the last time? I quit caring after 2013, and that's relatively late.

For all it was chocked up to be, the 30's cartoon meme of bubbliness when drunk now seems more like a privilege than a shaming - I can't even reach that, for the most part.

Update I don't know how to reconcile that. I've checked out, on principle, and yet I'm here perfectly healthy, ignoring the gut from alcohol now. There was even the Adele album where she says how could a man be so LAZY

If I did anything, I would probably be more likely to be shamed than if I hadn't in the first place - hey

Update After having me go out to help my dad with a chore to a small extent (meaning I don't have to take a shower after it), my mom had me sit with her on a game of Wheel of Fortune - I was thinking, like, no, I'm not a prodigy like that that I can just answer these things - in fact otherwise wouldn't I try to be one of these guys on the TV as a contestant? But that reminded me, on older computers like my dad's old Macintosh, I think, they had a pinball game that was virtual so that you could have as many alternate boards as you wanted according to what hole you went in to transfer you, and I mentioned that. That's been included in nostalgia compilations recently.

Blood- Fresh Supply pisses me off a bit because, after I've already seen the goodness that GZDoom's modern versions can provide, this remake still has the software color palette.

I'm thinking, that would be cool if you could *take* a fancier game engine and make certain areas that *feel* like they're out of N64.

Update An example of where I would have "hate" in this state - ouch Remembering what some Mario 64 dreams have managed to be like, in contrast to what Mario B3313 is even in its extension - no diss, but that's "hate"

I said I wake up sometimes, and it feels like I'm going a class lower

Update Also, in consideration of the mentality of some autists that, if you can set things up in a format that's like "leveling up", you can motivate these people to achieve great things more than most - I think of a lot of things in terms of what I can get *other people* to grasp and overcome themselves, without having to give them more than occasional advice, not having to hold their hand, and that holds even with consideration of religion.

I don't know beyond the way I just consider things like that something to hold over there still on the horizon, for not just yet.

I mean, for all the talk that's existed about "hiding your power level in public" when it comes to red pills - that's what it's called - if religion's red pills are as straightforward as acknowledging the passages against homosexuality as opposed to not, is that even what would be to be considered having a high power level? And yet it's genuine. People would act like you're being a "Pharisee" of the modern day by sticking to this scripture which is only regarded in name only anymore, as opposed to being those Christians that would allow it and not care one way or the other.

Update 'Cause all my niggas are decked out bro - I get the whole shebang with the small pizzas from Mach Pizza and so on - get loaded out with peanut cheese bars

Update So the best living-up-to I have of my mom's prodigy expectations is that I tend to have a nose for these sorts of things, but then I'm still too lazy to get past the gold-digging quest in Earthbound without the use of save states.

Update I don't know if this is any good, but - it's true that back in the day of boomers, MDMA was actually legal, to the extent that boomer parents likely at some point did that stuff in clubs. i remembered that with the whole visual effects of Wheel of Fortune and the memory of virtual pinball as a source of nostalgia.

What the heck

I always thought AIDS was the ultimate scientific confirmation of what the Bible accused gays of with "bloodguiltiness", in itself, but some anons are very autistic and say that's fake just the same as nukes - I never heard that before until recently

Update There's got to be some way to address this. It's very simple that people adhered to an open-minded mentality of Christendom to the extent that Phariseedom was eventually interpreted to include people who still regard gayness as having bloodguiltiness as said in the Bible. We can't agree on basic things, so this *is* relevant.

Update I don't intend to insert myself into people's personal scenarios, but there is simple truth here - "let your yes be yes and your no be no" - when you say you have to "pass" in order to be sexy, aren't you giving the straight admission that you have to deceive people?

I'm autistic or something (you know what? I don't care about you people who say that)

Update And then, in the meantime, Mother 3's Magicant-dweller-equivalents are all like this. Ironically, none of the ones who are said to be transsexual actually even remotely pass - this was 2006

Update I've been gangstalked subtly long enough, Big Hero 6's movie might have ripped off of my nanobot-construction-system concept from the time. No I am not kidding. [This arbitrarily failed to load, the first time.]

Update Maybe everything I call "hate" in this state is just what 4channers call "disdain for plebs". That in itself isn't hate. But compound that with what we know from collective experience about people acting elitist despite the fact of all this. Yeah.

Update Would mentioning "humility" in this kind of context piss a lot of people off? Maybe a lot of the *right* people?

Update I guess i don't respect myself as much personally - although I guess that's already redundant with the Kanye song link reference

Emotions - what are they? If they're not allowed to be expressed

I respect people who carry their weight, but, with this society, god damn

I think I *know* what I mean by, I want to get roasted - someone that I respect like Common Filth, reprimand me like my father always has, so that it's in a way that's actually meaningful, for once!

It always piss me off, even though to everybody else it's a silly "joek", the filmed guy at the inauguration of Donald J. Trump cries out "nooooo!" is a dime a dozen in this country where competency is not!

Update I had a foreign friend who said things like, look, buddy, we used to use people llke you as sandbags during the war - and now he himself is taken because of marijuana use - maybe nothing like that was ever meant in the first place. It was maybe just dick-flexing because the guy's a douche in general and happened to be aligned to the right at the time.

Update I have a beautiful non-hatred for you people, and I'm afraid I'm too simply lazy for any of that to be realized as a serenade to this indecent society

War of the Words - Mother 3 (Remastered) - YouTube

Update The meme from /pol/ was a 12-year-old's drawing of muh Hitler 'stache saying "I don't apreciate you", which got copied and edited extensively - I know I get that

I don't actively hate

But holy shit does it *feel* like hate

Update I hate time Its passage in slow motion is my enemy Don't make fun

I think it's in my *worst case* that I would have an opportunity, uniquely, to distance myself identitarily from what the accusation with Charles Manson *was*

You got entire songs of, "I got tha powah!", but this is demotivational because of the assocation to the bad family, which is indeed bad, by any reasonable person's standards.

Even the Bible has clear passages like, those who frequent whores are doomed for hell, and that's the exact kind of person Charles Manson appealed to - in fact, I heard he peddled whores to the elites. So that's not forgivable. But assuming it's just his "cult of personality" alone that makes the accusation against me, then what? I want to be clean of this.

It's not really making me "think hard" so much - it's just really obstructive. That's why I've called it just shitposting.

I have disdain just for people who have the same trouble I do in real time trying to keep down the alcohol to accommodate for my differences to the rest of mankind when it comes to necessity to even be *affected* by the substance - what does that really mean, to regular people?

I have so much f'in control over myself, I'm a f'in *square*

It's like, make something already or just *bust*, b'!

It's basically "don't try this at home", but given my trauma, it's like being Lain's "the Wired" when I'm like this - what I hate is the restraint

How many people even believe it? It may as well be a robot in the White House! And how many people care about this country in particular

Update Outmode my ramblings - I honestly dare you Gotten a bit bored

update What is Rick and Morty's "True Level"? Are the creators just trolling us with that?

You have certain people who are exceptional at predicting the future of economics - are there no people to predict anything other than collapse at this point?

I wish for someone I respect like Common Filth to put me in my place. But I don't see that happening.

Somebody beat me up

Update In the past couple days or week or more, I've had dreams about inter-strung platforms in a widening abyss becoming a set of stages in themselves, to the point that it becomes a campaign in itself - what exactly am I dreaming?

When I wake up, what do I care about more? (inb4...)

I don't *know*

Update "Knowing is half the battle" - what do you call what I'm without? Parental guidance has been a shit, what else?

I even make it *class*-based - would tell my parents right now, fuck you you selfish urchin

I have about five thousand beefs with you

Update I don't know anything about why this comes to mind just now, but there was a secret glitch dimension to Putt-Putt and Pep's Dog on a Stick through a combination in the level editor to where it was in a domestic kitchen with no other real explanation, and that was just part of the game code - if you feel me

Update If I don't like myself, it's not enough to stop me from rambling like this, in this state. So I must not hate myself as much.

I heard from a black man owning a car in gangstalking, "Eric - I *love* you - but you have *so much* to learn" - and that's without any real *intimate* awareness.

I don't think anybody else as a kid appreciated the value of just letting the void in in spinning around in the indoor whirlpool as a kid and not giving a shit otherwise [The internet went out on this one]

Update Cinemassacre used to be a regular series, to put things in context!

Gritting my teeth; chasing dutterbucks in my eyes - hoping not to lose my meal in the process - not a good thing to ever recommend to another living person (shock in my wrists like a slow electricity)

I wish you viewers a peaceful life - but holy shit the world as a whole isn't going to go fine

Update Speaking for a computer system that has to operate in absence of meaning: hatred, hatred hatred hatred hatred hatred

Update

Ironically, I actually care about my parents and family, but their advice still didn't gain me anything in real life

Update I hate you: I want to show you things like the Stanley Parable Demo + game itself failed - what the f---

Unironically, I wanted for a while to make a Doom wad with real-time interconnected maps in a hub structure with an atmosphere like Ib's gameplay music - what do I do with myself? I drink myself into a near-frenzy for this sake, but...

Bite my finger

I don't expect *anybody* impressing me with that - but holy shit would that be impressive

Update To Ib's music, the St. Louis Botanical Garden is something I gave a shit about, but didn't give a shit about at the same time - and I wanted to make a simple 3D game's atmosphere to match the vibe of that OST while capturing that aesthetic, potentially.

I don't know what I want with myself - you can call me a womanizer even now, with the way there are games even now that entice me like that one did. What is inspiration? It's not faithful, if we're being literal like that. Ouch.

Update There was a Doom mod online that had players randomize who would be the killer with a knife in these haunted mansions late at night, which I drew inspiration from aesthetically because of the views you could get from in spite of the horrific denouement(?) My dad caught me in this server and told me never to go there again

Update I hate, I hate, I hate, but holy shit, I don't feel resentment toward the individuals

I want to scream

It used to be a thing to rate people alternatively based on an "EQ" - emotional intelligence - but I haven't seen that since, and the only song that expresses me on this is the lyric "and I feel so alone"

If things were actually compatible on the level that they are in depth

Update There is that Lain OP lyric, I am drowning I'm painstakingly aware when people are unfeeling on subjects - don't judge me

I don't hate myself, and I'm not a narcissist.

How am I supposed to know if an emotion *I* feel isn't going to be hand-had by someone on the opposite side of the spectrum for things I don't like?

There's a reality to an *extent* like the Sailor Moon OP, that it's a miracle that we got to live in the same life as each other (having similar experiences, across all this time and space), but, if it's going to be that controversial at the same time...I don't know!

Update And if that does come down to a conflict, I *do* hate you - life doesn't need to be that complicated - we're already so isolated in person, why make further conflict?

I think I'm going to throw up ...(?)

I hate this world we were born into! God damn!

Update Who *knows* if it's grifting for attention - I feel alone

In the sense of just exclaiming it to the masses, I don't necessarily "hate people" - but I've given up so much

I once wished at the weeb festival at the Botanical Garden for a girlfriend willing to dress up as Sabitsuki with the iron pipe effect [(I remember the black dress effect too! - combination? why not!)] for me at such an event - really, that's just one idea - it could be anything else - but good gracious, my emotions themselves are practically null outwardly, like I'll never express them if left alone.

"Euphoria ... slow dance with society"

I don't know what blessing I have, because I couldn't give it to you if I tried.

I wish I could travel the world and know everything.

I hate so much - in that I wish I could just skip on a *lot* of things that don't seem necessary!

I hate *life*, *religion*, *occupation* - and I'm already exhausted thinking about it.

And if you think there's nothing productive to come by by this and that I'm just a degenerate for this, I don't like that *either* because in fact I *do* try! I do.

Update I remember the lyric, if you ain't about to fade, you better *buck*, nigga!

How has that aged? (Don't give me shit)

Honestly, either one of two: give me a Common Filth that berates me into becoming something better, or don't roast me so freely so I can post more freely myself. Make your pick.

Tired of "tired"

Update I've heard a recent meme from somebody that "I'm just not going to do it hahaha" roused an endless hateful rant from some boomer - if only I could manage to rouse that in musical format!

Have you ever just paid the toll to feed the karp at the Botanical Garden for a few minutes and nothing else?

"Yare yare daze"

Update Wind Waker final boss at the end: "The wind...it is blowing."

Update Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga! I'm 200% nigga!

Update I'mma scream No Eating Crackers in the Cinema in 8-bit format until I'm arrested, at this rate

Update What am I supposed to do with my emotions about the inevitable? And what are you going to do if you don't even agree with them? [They deleted this, the first time - what the heck!]

[freaklikejanine]

I don't generally talk about my mental health on my social media because I tend to keep it light-hearted.

I know mental health has more awareness and is more widely accepted than ever, but in my experience it's still vastly misunderstood.

With more awareness has come the rise of trends like 'sad girl culture'.

Depression and anxiety are not an aesthetic, not a fashion trend, not a quirky trait, not poetic, or something to be romanticised. It's literally ruined what should have been some of the best and happiest times of my life.

Mental health issues massively affect a person's thought processes. Self-preservation behaviours can be greatly misinterpreted and detrimental to the individual and those close to them. Often my coping methods are worse and more damaging than the situation I'm faced with.

For years I've struggled with depression, anxiety, attachment issues, etc. The affects of which have at times left me feeling completely alone, wishing I wasn't here, and have destroyed relationships.

In my experience people are baffled to find out I struggle with mental health issues, after all what have I got to be sad about? I have a family that cares about me...a nice roof over my head...A job I'm passionate about...My car...my interests and hobbies...my youth.

But unfortunately it doesn't work that way. No matter how good my circumstances may be, I can't stop my thoughts spiralling out of control or the emotional dysregulation I experience.

I'd visited doctors to be dismissed as having 'low mood' or 'stressful circumstances'. I'd tried medication that exasperated the issues and made me absolutely terrified to try anything else. I've seen counsellors on and off for them to tell me I'm doing better, only to leave and find the progress I'd felt seemed to backtrack within a matter of weeks.

For a long time I've questioned whether there was something deeper wrong with me. I've always felt like I don't fit in or can't connect with people.

Sometimes this feels never ending. But I haven't gave up, it's a journey. And everyday that I crack a smile, that's a win.

My issues still go without a proper diagnoses. And I've found that self-help seems to be more affective than anything the NHS has offered me. But I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere.

I had a call from a mental health nurse last week. I have to complete a mood diary for a month then go for an assessment.

I'm still dubious as I've heard the NHS is atrocious at diagnosing mental health disorders and a lot of people resort to going private. But it's a start to be listened to and taken seriously rather than palmed off to someone else or loaded up with pills and sent on my way.

From the initial phone call alone, the nurse thinks I'm suffering from trauma. It's something I never really considered. When I hear the word 'trauma' I think of some major life-altering event or a string of abuse. I never considered trauma in terms of frequent, reoccurrent or longterm exposure to people hurting you, letting you down, betraying your trust, etc.

This is not a plea for pity, sympathy, or even support. Increasing an awareness and understanding is sufficient.

It's important to remind people that the image you see isn't always what's happening under the surface so treat people with kindness, consideration and patience.

#mental health #depression #Anxiety

[moviemuncherao3]

At the request of my sister I started 13 Reasons Why for the first time over a week ago.

I am on Season 3, Ep10 at the moment.

What I think so far: (triggers for SA, SH, Suicide and anything else the show covers).

• I do not like the depiction of suicide, it comes across as though Hannah was trying to get revenge. The tapes enforce this idea, and though she is entitled to justice, I think the tapes were a strain on people like Tony and Clay that was unnecessarily cruel.

• I do not like Clay. He is an entitled, slut shaming, victim-blaming "nice guy" who we are meant to sympathise with but I barely do. I'm not saying every protagonist should be likeable but when every other character is deplorable, maybe they should be somewhat likeable.

• Every character is flawed and that's the good bit. The bad bit is the continuous attempts to redeem those that really shouldn't be, Bryce for example during season 3. He's smug and arrogant about his choices, until season 3 out of the blue. Monty's internalized homophobia and home life for another.

• Using pain to redeem characters with the "lesser" sins. Tyler's incident in particular is beyond brutal. Tyler was a pervert who stalked Hannah and took half naked pictures of her and Courtney and then spread them around the school when he was first confronted, then rejected. He was troubled and yet it's forgotten pretty quickly once they force his character to undergo such extreme trauma to garner sympathy. That scene just felt so damn awful, nobody deserves that.

• The coach is deplorable, just an entitled man child that you can tell doesn't care about fostering a culture that protects sexual predators as long as they are good athletes.

• Headmaster is incompetent and useless. Clearly wrapped in Walker's pockets cos god forbid the school lose their funding. Would rather bury his head in the sand and ignore everything.

• Mr Porter, equally useless but not necessarily maliciously. His advice was poor at best for the majority of the students coming to him. His careless words to Hannah were beyond abbhorrent, particularly when he asked if it was just sex she regretted first. Why was that the first question? Are we really still pushing the (extremely rare in reality, but not if you believe TV) false accusation narrative first?

• Hannah's mom is perhaps the only character I feel truly sorry for.

• The schools lawyer was terrible? The judge was extremely lenient with her too. Just a one dimensional slimy lawyer type. Which is fine, but I just hated her.

• the SJW character, Casey Ford. So damn irritating. This is the first character I remember that boldly states she is feminist outloud, but she is honestly really not??? Nothing about her actions toward Jessica show that she cares about other women as opposed to just getting her voice heard with shock tactics. I don't disagree with the protests, I don't care about her organising the one at the funeral. But what did annoy me was she was dismissive of Jessica's pleas not to, called her a victim and snapped at Tyler when he also voiced his objection. She made the immediate, easy trap, assumption that he was just a boy condemning a SA survivor and told him to be a fucking ally nastily. Obviously, Tyler already had been SA'd. It rankled. Someone who truly cared about equality and justice would know not to assume that about a stranger.

• Alex Standall. He has his moments where I'm fine with him, and then he does something like lose his temper at the wrong person, or to the detriment of someone else at least. Then he acts confused like he isn't sure what happened.

Overall there are moments that intrigue me, it does broach difficult topics, sometimes well enough, that could open up conversations. The show had it's own resource site which I appreciate.

#spoilers #13 reasons why #13 reasons why spoilers #review

[merakiui]

What do you think of the concept of yan!xiao, childe venti trapping their darling in a teapot?

I feel like they would be less restrictive since the darling wouldn't necessarily be able to escape most likely, so they wouldn't worry about restraint much. Esp in Ventis case...he is the God of freedom so while his darling isn't exactly 'free' they're still kinda free in a way that they have their own world to be free in?

Xiao would probably be somewhat restricted, but only just keep them in the house because he probably wouldn't trust them to be by themselves yet--he figures they may try to run off and hide from him or something

Childe would probably let them try to "escape" on purpose and would be absolutely amused when his darling finds out they wouldn't be able to leave

(cw: yandere, captivity, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, mention of children and implied stockholm syndrome for childe’s part)

Venti doesn't exactly lie to you, but he does trick you. He's aware that it's not the nicest thing to do and that it's not exactly captivity if you're living in a world that resembles the one outside. Only this pocket-sized world is nicer and happier and there aren't any people to get in the way. He tells you about it when you're vulnerable. Maybe you're drunk or you're crying your eyes out because something horrible happened. Either way, you're not in the right state of mind when you make the comment: "I wish I could live in my own ideal world for just one day." And this is great news for Venti because it makes relocation so much easier.

He shows you the teapot and explains it briefly, leaving out certain details. It's better if you don't know everything about how the teapot works. After all, ignorance is bliss. Venti tells you how to get in, but he doesn't tell you how to get out. And the way he describes it makes it sound so tempting—as if living inside this teapot for a bit will cure whatever's bothering you. You decide it wouldn't hurt to spend a day or two inside the teapot to see the little world Venti holds in the palms of his hands.

It's a lot of fun at first. You and Venti glide from the top of the mountains in Emerald Peak, he sings melodious ballads as you look up at the sky, and the two of you play hide-and-seek inside of the house, playfully popping out of rooms and laughing when you’re caught. Eventually the charm wears off and you start to yearn for the outside world. It’s not the same in the teapot. As pretty and peaceful as it may be, it still feels so empty. And when you bring it up to Venti he finds small ways to change the subject. It probably plays out like this:

“Venti, I’d like to go home now.”

“But we were just about to play another round of hide-and-seek! Come on! Don’t be a spoilsport! One more round? Then we’ll leave.”

Or he’ll tell you that you’re already home. There’s always a big smile on his face when he says stuff like that. He’s happy that he gets to spend so much time with you and no one can interfere. But it does get annoying when you start to beg for the old world. Your pleas to leave will fall upon his deaf ears. Venti does feel a little bad when you start to sulk, but his sympathy is short-lived. Let’s not forget that you were the one who wanted this. You wanted to live in your ‘ideal world.’ And isn’t this ideal?

As an adeptus, Xiao is aware of Sub-Space Creation and the effort it takes to construct a presentable teapot. He’s been working hard on his ever since you came into his life. Before he knew you he didn’t have a reason to put effort into it because he stays at Wangshu Inn, but after he met you he started working a lot harder. He tries to make the teapot as comfortable as possible. You mentioned you like dogs or cats in passing? You can find a few in the teapot. You said you like berry bushes and flower fields? There’s a bunch in his teapot. He probably has a nearly perfect model of your room in there as well. Before he brings you into the teapot, he’ll often sit in that room and make sure everything replicates the original, down to the bed frame and the fabric used for the pillow case.

He’ll put some of your things in it just so it feels more personal. Xiao knows he’s stealing from you whenever he does this, but it’s not like you ever noticed anything was missing. Besides, it’s all going in the teapot anyways. You won’t even need your real room or mortal possessions anymore. Xiao is actually quite proud of the teapot and manages to fool himself into thinking you’ll like it, too. And you do (for the first few days, that is). He’s very forward with his question of whether or not you’d like to see his teapot. And you eagerly nod because the two of you are friends and Xiao wants to show you something he made and he looks a little…excited? There’s definitely light in his eyes when he gets your agreement to view the inside of his teapot.

Once you’re inside, you’re genuinely surprised. It’s far more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. The Floating Abode is a really gorgeous landscape. You’re so caught up in looking at the sunset and the flowers and the animals that roam the teapot that you aren’t aware of the horrors that lie just beyond. You’ll find the room that resembles yours in no time and it’s really creepy. As much as you try to tell yourself that Xiao means well and wouldn’t actually do something like this on purpose, it’s hard to ignore the fact that everything is practically identical to your room. It’s so, so strange. You want to ignore it, but you just can’t. It’s so obvious.

It’s definitely creepy, but you don’t have the heart to tell him.

You hold your tongue because you don’t want to hurt his feelings. You’re really the only close friend he has, so you’d feel bad if you insulted his interior decorating skills. Xiao’s pleased to hear that you like it so much. Praise falls from your lips like a waterfall and it gives him a sense of relief. He’s so happy that you like it and since you’re okay with it it’ll be fine if you live here. When he tells you that, your brain freezes and you’re not sure how to respond.

“Live here? Like…permanently?”

And to your shock he nods.

Xiao is far less lenient than Venti. With Venti everything feels like eternal, childish fun with the idea of freedom sprinkled in. But with Xiao it’s definitely a harsher form of captivity. You aren’t allowed outside because he’s worried you might fall off of the bridges that connect the floating islands or you might try to find your way out of the teapot. So you’re confined to the mansion. It’s got everything you could ever need and the interior design matches that of your home perfectly. Just treat it like it’s your own home and it won’t be so bad. You definitely try to see the good in this situation because you care about Xiao, but it’s so hard when he’s keeping you here like you’re just another addition to his teapot.

It’s miserable, but at least you can count on him to visit you every single day.

Childe is very receptive to the idea of owning his own little world in a small teapot. Maybe he was holding you captive before he came upon the teapot and while you’re sleeping he relocates you. You don’t expect to wake up in a new location, but you assume you’re still somewhere in Liyue. Childe finds it cute that you’re so startled, clearly confused with the change in scenery. And when you glance at the surroundings on the Cool Isle, it feels like you might have a chance. Childe seems to think so because he waves you off, telling you with the sincerest voice that you’re ‘free to go.’

You don’t need to be told twice and so you run because you’re invigorated. You can leave and he’s not coming after you. Childe doesn’t even raise his bow in warning. You’re actually leaving him and he’s letting you! But it feels too good to be true. A day passes and you learn that there’s no one else to help you. So you find an empty shack on the shoreline and you hide in it because survival is the only thing you know right now. And the day goes by, the night comes, and morning makes its arrival. You’re still safe. He hasn’t found you.

And it really feels like you can make it out of this. Even if there’s no one around, you can still find something to help you. You’d take anything at this point. By the end of the week, you’re losing sight of your goal and you really just want to head back to the mansion and nap on a comfortable bed. You’ve been catching the crabs and the fish and doing what you can to start a long-lasting fire. When Childe finds you, you’re so exhausted from running and hiding that you collapse into his arms. And he smiles so sweetly while he tells you something that shatters your entire world.

“You did well, comrade, but this isn’t Liyue. You have no need to run.”

It’s not even Teyvat. It’s another world entirely—one existing solely within a teapot. And everything comes crashing down when you realize just how impossible that makes any escape attempts. No human contact. No energy or life that comes from meeting with friends and seeing family. It truly does feel like you and he are the only people in this world.

Childe knows that you’ll adjust to this new world whether you like it or not. It was fun to toy with you in the beginning (and it still is) when you didn’t realize this was the world inside the teapot. But now he just wants to settle into a comfortable life. He takes every chance he has to visit you and eventually you’ll find yourself succumbing to the relaxing pleasures of domestic life. You learn how to cook delicious meals with Childe’s help, you collect seashells on the shore to cure your boredom, and you’ll take care of any chores or housework. It warms Childe’s heart to see you accepting this life.

Maybe the two of you can start a family. Maybe he should get a few pets to liven up the house. It’s not like you can get away from him while inside the teapot, so it’s a recipe for anything to happen. And you’ve come to learn that what happens in the teapot stays in the teapot.

#chit chat #yandere #yandere venti #yandere xiao #yandere childe

[spideyspeaches]

Heart made of glass ↬ t.h

A/N: Beta read by the lovely @hollandcrush​ !! <3<3

Request (Summary): can you please write one about Tom, who is on the filming process of cherry and has some emotional problems because he feels that his character is already part of his life, so he comes home very angry and in a bad mood, so he just snaps and creates a big fight with the reader and just says things that he obviously didn't meant, you know very angst, and at the end just very fluff.

Hope you like this anon! Lemme know your thoughts heh <3<3

Warnings: breakdowns, slight vomiting but it’s not graphic. I’m not in any way romanticizing or sexualising breakdowns. 

WC: 2k+ 

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist || Taglist

Tom was an ambitious guy. He took his roles seriously, no matter what his character was and who he played. It was an admirable trait, the way he both enjoyed his work and worked hard to earn a high place in such a place as Hollywood. 

You always took pride in how amazing and accomplished your boyfriend was, your heart swelling whenever you heard his name being mentioned in events and interviews. You enjoyed how he tried to diversify the movies he worked in. 

("I've been playing the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man for so long, it's about time I play someone different now." He once said in a Jimmy Kimmel interview. You were watching from the audience, smiling as the audience roared in affirmation. 

"Well looks like you took quite a big leap from playing a superhero." Jimmy said, smiling at the audience with his paparazzi smile. 

You knew the question was scripted, quite harmless, but you still noticed how his shoulder stiffened, his smile not wavering once. 

"Well yeah, I used to be a superhero and now I'm a heroin addict." He joked, winking at the audience as he ran a hand through his nearly hairless head.

He cried himself to sleep that night, burying his face in your chest as you shushed him. )

It always worked in his favour, with the incredible support his family and fan base provided. And he was always so humble about it. 

Filming Cherry, however, was way different than he thought it would. With filming Cherry came consequences that he didn't necessarily like. He knew what he was bringing on himself and his family when he was first introduced with the script.

(Contrary to popular belief, he didn't actually give out spoilers, it was just small promotional stunts that kind of took over as his reputation to spoil minor details.)  

The process was intense, getting into the mindset of "Cherry" was taxing, and people were beginning to notice it in him. He was more restless, tugging at his non existent curls when he thought no one would notice. 

He was more clingy, more appreciative of your body and you, letting you know that there was no sexual intent behind his acts of caressing your waist at random times. You didn't notice the change in his behaviour. 

He had always been like this, watching you with the most gratifying gaze a man could muster, his pretty brown eyes like globes of whiskey, staring at you with a muffled expression. You didn't notice. 

There had always been a cutting edge to his voice, you knew and adored it. Behind the British actor who played Spider-Man, he was your Tom. Your Tom who gave you forehead kisses and baked cakes with you and made silly playlists that reminded him of you and you of him, your Tom who worshiped the ground you walked on, your Tom, your Tom and your Tom.

(Sometimes you envied that he was an actor, so good at hiding any emotions he felt, it came easy to him, just another fake emotion like he was a face behind the camera.)

He was never aggressive towards you. Never. Even on tough days, he was soft, caring and understanding to the point where it made you mad, immediately making you feel guilty. He worked so hard and yet here you were, blaming him for being nice, never standing up for himself.

"Uh, Tom, Tom stop, wait." You grunted, pushing his shoulders as he scrambled away from you at your discontent. 

You held his face, his breath hitching, hyperventilating as he tried to get himself together. 

Ever since he had started filming Cherry, he had been away from you. And now that you were finally here, he had been all over you, making love to every inch of your skin, like it was a holy grail he had to find, caressing your warm skin under his fingers making you shiver as his nimble fingers wandered. It was the intimacy, sexual and quasi-sexual, that made you realise, that there was something wrong.

Sex- it had been a constant in your life other than Tom. But of course, you didn't live on it. It was but a fuel that strengthened your relationship, it was about discovery and showing your vulnerable sides. It was a reminder of the coffee dates and baseball matches. It was loving, gentle and raw, like a gentle breeze caressing your face.

But this, this was different. And you noticed. This, what you had been doing, it was fucking. It was aggressive and needy and it felt good, but at the same time, it felt different.

"Baby?" You asked softly, trying to meet his eyes in the dark lit trailer. It was late, way past filming times, the only time you got to see his vulnerable side. 

You should have been in his hotel room, but you were in his trailer instead. All alone in the all encompassing darkness, it made your heart stutter beats. 

"Baby speak to me. What's happening, who's doing this to you?" You ask once again, holding onto him firmly this time, his squirming frame making you loosen your hold. You didn't care that you were naked, he had already seen it all. 

Fiddling with the rough sheets, he huffed a heavy breath. And that was all it took for the dam to break. 

"Tell me how do you feel baby, you're starting to scare me." You urged. All you got in response was his muffled sobs. Pulling him forward, you let his head rest on your bare chest, rivulets of tears sliding down your warm skin, almost burning you like acid, his tiny hair tickling you, a very contrasting feeling. 

"I can't do it. I can't take it anymore." He sniffed, wrapping his strong arms around you, shivering at the contact. It was a cold night in Cleveland, and you were naked and he was crying. You were berating yourself for not noticing. 

"What can't you take anymore?" You hold him, tracing circles on his buzz cut hair, just the way you did when he had his curls. 

"I feel like I'm becoming him. I don't like it at all, I try and try but I can't." He sobs, shoulders hitching with each sob. You felt your heart break, the sounds of his cries sending daggers into your skin. 

How could you have not noticed? The lively sunshine of a man was almost an empty shell. The interviews with former drug addicts had been excruciating for you, pity, disgust, sympathy and every other sinful emotion swirling in your mind. 

You couldn't believe that you hadn't thought about Tom, of what an effect it would have on him. 

"Bub, listen to me, carefully," you said, shushing him as he continued to look at you, teary eyed and red nosed, snot dripping out of his nose,"you listen to me. You're strong and resilient and nothing like him okay? He's not you. You're Tom Holland. You're brilliant and brave and amazing okay?" 

"But I don't feel that way!" He said, his aggressive stance surprising you, "he's- he's…" 

"He's what?" You asked, a little too impatient. Muttering a sorry, you rub your palm on his cheek, kissing the soft, moist skin.

"I don't feel so good." He croaked, getting up suddenly, making a run for the washroom. You rushed after him, watching him as he heaved into the toilet. Rubbing his back, you muttered affirmations, curling besides him as he sat on the ground, his back to the cold wall. 

You got up to switch on the lights, feeling his hands tugging yours, a soft "stay" coming out of him. 

"Better?" You asked, feeling him now against your collarbone. 

"I shouldn't be this affected, this- this isn't fair. I'm overreacting, I'm sorry I worried you baby I swear I didn't mean to-" 

"Shh, Tom first of all, you're not overreacting okay?" You smiled, kissing his nose, moving towards his brows and his forehead, "It's perfectly reasonable. The role you're playing...It's not exactly picking daisies. Fuck you're playing a heroin addict Tommy, a broken soldier with PTSD, a breakdown was inevitable. It only shows that you're human." 

"Really?" He smiled, it looked more like a grimace, a plea for reassurance. 

"Yes, really." You said, booping his nose, eliciting a giggle from him,"now, you better go to bed mister, you have an early shoot don't you?" You playfully scolded, kissing his lips, laughing as he carried you bridal style. 

"Tomorrow will be better." You whispered, kissing his eyelids, already closed, chest moving rhythmically as you counted his pulse, making sure he was completely asleep before slipping on your clothes, covering him with the thin quilt. 

***

"Is everything okay on set?" You asked casually, watching the crewmates work tirelessly in the daylight. 

You were standing next to Ciara on a prop jeep, fiddling with the water bottle held in your hand. 

"Hmm, as okay it can be with two people playing drug addicts." She shrugged, looking at you with a small smile. 

"Are you okay?" You asked, turning to give her your full attention, remembering your boyfriend's breakdown yesterday. 

"It gets… intense at times. Some scenes are hard to play, but we're okay. Mostly." She answered, taking your water bottle and chugging the water. 

"I'm not a therapist, but you can talk to me, you know?" You smiled, holding her shoulder as she gave you a bashful smile. 

"It's been tough on Tom. He's more aggressive, nearly had a breakdown during a scene." She said. 

"Yeah, that.. that happened yesterday too." 

"It was time, a person can only hold so much right?" 

"Yeah." 

You pondered her words, wondering if you could do anything to curb this. 

"I think I need help." He said one day while you were eating dinner. Harry, who was sitting next to you, looked up from his plate, giving you a knowing look before clearing his throat. 

"I'm gonna get some water." He said, waving awkwardly at you and getting up. You took that as a cue to scoot closer to Tom, running your hands through his camel hair. 

"That's very brave of you hun, asking for help." You smiled, kissing his cheek softly. You felt him smile, sliding closer to you, holding you by your waist. 

"I learnt from the best." He muttered in your hair, kissing your forehead. 

You felt his love that day, felt the way he ran his smooth fingers on your waistline, sliding across your thighs with care and softness you hadn't felt in a while. He was healing. It was a process, it took time but it happened.

***

You were walking across the library, his hand in yours, your hearts beating in silence. 

"How was your appointment?" You asked, shivering in the cold air. You rubbed your palms together, bringing your jacket closer to your chest, huffing the cold air. 

"It was good, much different from what the media portrays. She even showed me this meme she thinks you would like, look." He said, bringing out his phone to show you the saved meme. 

You laughed at his eagerness, kissing his lips as a final gratification. 

"Well it looks like you're having a great time. You have another scene left to do today in the evening so we better scram." You reminded him. 

You always did that, remind him of his schedule, reminded him to take a breath when he felt like he was drowning. You reminded him of home and what he had to look forward to.

"Why can't we have a lazy day today?" He whined, kissing your neck, making you giggle as it tickled. 

"You know you can't do that hun, you already took three days off." You snickered, poking his sides. 

"Well that sucks. I just want to spend my day with my girl, is that too much to ask?" He smiled, kissing your forehead, one hand holding yours, swinging back and forth, the other holding a large cup of coffee in a tight grip. 

You reached to loosen his fingers, taking a sip, slurping loudly, making him laugh. You decided you liked this laugh much better, it was breathy and free, a melody to your ears. 

You noticed how he was more relaxed and back to being that ray of sunshine. Back to being your Tom.

Thanks for reading! also as a side note- here’s a similar fic @itsallyscorner​ !!

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #spideygirl writes

[balillee]

sometimes i like to think about why i root so hardly for c!tommy. other than the very obvious fact that he is a victim of abuse, i recognise that some people don't even care for him despite that because they find him to be annoying or a troublemaker. i would then argue that the fact that he is 'annoying' and a 'troublemaker' makes him a much easier target for abuse because fellow characters are less likely to hear out his pleas for sympathy and help. just look at c!techno - did he ever care?

then, despite all of the things that make c!tommy a bit of a dick, i find it's those fleeting moments of kindness and childlike wonder that show true depth to his person and show that he truly isn't as abrasive as he comes off as.

he tried to give sam nook his enchanted golden apple because sam nook was hungry, only for him to outright refuse the gift because, well, why wouldn't he? he sings to flowers to make them grow. he would have, in a heartbeat, traded his own life for the safety of his best friend. he wanted to gather cornflowers for the ghost of his brother before he was stopped. he still regards those who have shown nothing but hatred and dishonest intentions for him as his family. he asked his abuser how he doesn't hurt, knowing that he chooses to not love anything anymore. underneath the scamming and the drugs and all the fun criminal activity, he wanted to pay homage to the brother he lost by building a hotel that would give a home to those who don't have one after the destruction of the country they founded together. he fought for his home and others when it felt like nobody else would, even if he lost that fight. he gave his best friend a full set of armour, leaving himself completely vulnerable, knowing that his best friend would need it more than he did. he felt a little lonely looking at the burger van, because he was the one people start businesses in vans with. he's 'all our muse'.

that is depth to a character. that is depth to a person. he may have done bad things but things like that are a true test of character. those fleeting moments depict a person who can be kind and thoughtful of others before himself when he needs to be. he's not too bad.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!tommy brainrot hours #love my Shining Star with all my heart #esclapoanalysis

[chatsu]

˗ˋ there you are

genre — angst, fluff (?) warning — mentions of death, grief words — 2,124

notes — it is 3:07 am, and i don't want to come up with a synopsis so, i shan't <3 this is my first writing post,, so uhh, please give me criticism !

violet chrysanthemum — unbearable pain at the thought of losing a loved one white chrysanthemum — reserved for sympathy and remembrance lyra — a constellation, which you can read more about here !

hugging his knees on the pavement, oikawa tooru couldn't help but overhear the faint chitter of loved ones greeting each other, serving as a reminder to why he was lamenting in the first place. a combination of heavy sobs and pleas of a miracle, he had grown used to, yet he still found the letters engraved on the cold stone in front of him almost foreign.

the anniversary of your death was fast approaching. caught in the fast lane of change, tooru has experienced almost every stage of grief. almost.

he remembers a shade of reddish brown framing your corpse. a metallic odour accompanied by tears burning every inch of his face, creating a sickly feeling in the back of his throat, which only multiplied as he released his frustration in the form of bargains.

' if only's ' and ' what if's ' his brittle voice had echoed — temporary truces, in which he begged and pleaded with every god and goddess known to the universe, in an attempt to negotiate his way out of this harsh reality.

from denial to anger, and from bargaining which soon melted into his current state of stark numbness in your absence. the past seemed more alive than the present.

stationed on the 4th, hazy reminders of a once living past seemed to obstruct his path of progression leading to the 5th and final phase of this grieving process that must inevitably follow. acceptance.

tooru is a competitive man. on the court, he is capable of adapting to new environments, examining their playing style, studying each and every player in a matter of seconds and having the ability to draw out their strengths — thus, blending into the team as if he was apart of the original line up.

yet, surrounded by this atmosphere of sorrow and anguish, he stuck out like a sore thumb. even after scrutinizing how others had dealt with this profound feeling of misery, their so called 'methods' were in vain, and he continued to suffer.

his fear of being second best, he now had no chance of overcoming. because as if in a race, tooru was exasperated, struggling to catch up with everyone else.

even the stars are lonely, but at least there were a multitude to keep company, and he couldn't help but envy them. your family, friends, hanamaki, matsukawa, hajime, even takeru had accepted the fact that you were gone, as they smiled fondly, memory sweet with you.

tooru could not remember the last time he smiled — a genuine one, that is. one that isn't plastered on when prompted with the constant ' how are you holding up? '. one that creeps up to his eyes to resemble a crescent moon. one with familiarity and love. one because of you.

the setting sun bathed everything in shades of lavender, painting the flowers propped beside your grave a colour he had wished they were. telling a tale of many consecutive days spent in this location, they bloomed brightly and never wilted away for they were regularly changed with a newer, hand picked bouquet. today, the flowers hadn't the ability to mock him, for today was different.

earlier, under what he thought were unfortunate circumstances, he was left stricken by the lack of purple petals accessible. left with no other choice, he let his fingers fumble along those coloured as snow instead. however, opting for these flowers proved to be difficult, as he realised he was breaking his routine.

because the shadow of the past still hung over, his fear of being second best soon morphed into a fear of change. a fear of everything changing. again, while he still had not adjusted to his scars wounded by time. it was nearing a year since tragedy struck. a year since that decisive moment of change.

but due to a sudden yet short lived act of bravery, tooru chose to cease sewing the seeds of habit, and as of right now, he found himself laying these flowers in their accustomed seat atop the gleaming stone. stems slightly compressed due to his secure grip, but petals remaining untouched. although both were chrysanthemums, the previous batches had been violet, and the current were white, simple as.

it is only when his nephew appears in his peripheral, he is snapped out of his trance, plastering a soft smile to veil his conflicting thoughts. hardly a word is spoken between them as takeru gently places an article of clothing on his lap, then is soon walking off.

leaving tooru with more questions than answers, his eyes shift downwards and widen at the sight of his old aoba johsai uniform folded ever so neatly. at an agonizingly slow pace, his slender fingers start to inspect every nook and cranny of the oversized — on you, not him — jersey. he holds it gingerly for this specific piece of fabric is a memory preserved.

and like a bridge to the past, tooru finds himself traversing along the nostalgic path, illuminated by memories time seemed to have dimmed.

as if the past is burned into his psyche, he still remembers the day you ignored him, well at least tried to.

though your actions were deemed fruitless, as you soon dropped your facade when he eventually caught up to you while you were walking home. mentally cursing yourself for your futile attempts at avoiding him, you had confessed that you were not in fact jealous, but curious as to why there were so many girls wearing his exact jersey. there was an attempt to stifle a laugh, yet one look at the stubborn pout on your face was all it took for tooru to burst out laughing.

"what is so funny?" you had tilted your head with a slight scowl painting your features.

impatiently tapping your foot, you waited for a response, but from his hunched figure and the smack! when he brought his hand to his knee was confirmation that his fit of laughter wasn't going to die out any time soon.

"oikawa" you had puffed, and the use of his last name was enough to get his attention, as he flicked an invisible tear off his face.

dramatically, with his hand latched onto his hip to form his signature stance, his free arm stretched out and squeezed your shoulders.

"they're not mine" he chuckled with a shrug and a smile — smug, yet genuine.

"listen tooru, i'm not dumb. you're the team captain right? the number 1's on the back practically mocked me!"

"may i ask, how many were there?"

"you mean how many were wearing your uniform? hmm i don't know, maybe every single girl i saw cheering?"

"yeah, and do you really think i'd have that many jerseys to give away? iwa-chan would be kicking my ass if i was constantly getting new jerseys!"

moments of silence passed and you figured that he was right, but your stubborn demeanour wasn't going to admit defeat that easily.

"i suppose that it would cost a lot of money, which you don't have, seeing as i was the one who had to pay for lunch yesterday. plus, you uhh, still seem as small as you were in first year so i assume you wouldn't need a change in size"

feigning a gasp, he clutched his heart and claimed that it was his turn to ignore you. snickering in response, he cupped your face and peppered it with kisses until he spoke up again.

"you know, ordering uniforms are pretty common for fangirls. buuut, you don't have to spend a single dime 'cause there's only one i'd like you to wear"

digging into his bag whilst motioning you to lift your arms up, he pulled out his aoba johsai jersey. he quickly put it on you and stood back, admiring how the cloth adorned you — no, how you adorned the cloth. this went on for a while, him staring at you in pure adoration, until his face lit up and he went back to fumbling in his bag.

"here! to fully establish that this is for you and you only, a limited edition, aoba johsai uniform, signed by the oikawa tooru" he beamed, placing the top of a permanent marker in between his teeth and biting the lid off.

his left hand found purchase on your waist as the other was in the midst of signing the front and back of your shirt with his signature. tooru being, well, tooru, he began to embellish the entire fabric in little hearts with ' tooru + y/n 's in large lettering, until he was interrupted by your arms outstretching and pulling him in for a hug. deciding against sulking about not getting to finish his oh so lovely drawings, he instead chose to reciprocate and nuzzle into your neck, basking in your warmth.

from then on, it was an essential garment to your outfits. yes, you were reluctant as the bright turquoise colour certainly did not match with everything, but ' you can pull off anything ' is what tooru had claimed. some fashion advice coming from the mf who wore plaid shorts <3

unlike the rest of your clothes in the closet collecting dust, it remained hung up on the handle, ready for use. from matches to study dates which later transitioned into sleepovers, he always complimented your attire in different ways as if it was your first time wearing it.

braiding his chocolate coloured locks, he lay on top of you, the back of his head on your stomach as he made an effort to mirror the rhythm of your breathing with every rise and fall of your chest.

after a lack of commentary, you noticed that he was not staring off into space, but rather the glow in the dark stars you had stuck up on your ceiling. deciding to take advantage, you extended your arm to switch off the lamp adjacent your bed, and while the light faded, the stars gathered overhead.

"oh - hurry up tooru, look! it's a shooting star, make a wish" you gushed, having one eye shut while the other awaited his reaction.

"come on now, you know i didn't bring my glasses with me today, hmph"

"no no, how does that saying go — you don't have to be able to see it to believe it! you're the one always saying those cliche quotes all the time"

".. angel, i'm sorry but this is all just a yellow blur to me. i really can't see anything"

huffing at his habitual use of endearment, you wrapped your hand around his wrist and straightened out his index finger to guide it towards the ' shooting star ' that had not moved from the centre of your ceiling.

"better?"

"much"

letting out a satisfied hum, you both closed your eyes, your conversation, but not your minds as they wished upon the faithful glints of gold which magnified the tranquility of it all.

you eased your grip around his wrist but he took this as an opportunity to interlock his fingers with yours. and with the stars winking from a pitch black sky, your wishes combined, and the soft squeeze of your hands, it was a silent promise that you would always be with each other.

perhaps it was the flower's slight change in hue which resulted in this caprice of fate, because for the first time, he finds himself recalling positive memories rather than remnants of your death.

and for the first time, tooru accepts. the unknown feeling envelops him, yet it does so with open arms, a welcoming smile, and no judgement.

the way he allows his tears dye the turquoise clothing a darker shade, he recognizes that he is no longer under the false pretence that all is well.

he need not question why the corners of his lips subliminally upturn, because as as he clutches this jersey, it's almost as if he is clutching you once more.

while the last stars still fleck the sky, he thanks those lucky stars, for it is you there with him, and he finds solace in your presence.

but this time, tooru isn't afraid to let go.

by no means does he intend to let go of you, no — never. but to let go of the affliction, pain, and instead have regard for the past in preparation for the future. in preparation for change.

and with his damp high school uniform, his smile that is heartful, and the lyra hanging heavy in the eastern sky, they all begin to coalesce into his former self.

the tooru who is not a genius. the tooru who underestimates his own strength, the tooru who overcomes adversity. the tooru, whom you are in love with.

and with the knowledge, and most importantly, acceptance, that you are no longer here with him physically,

oikawa tooru knows that wherever he goes, there you are.

#keijee <3 #writing ! #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #hq #oikawa x reader #oikawa headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyū!! #haikyuu x reader #hq tooru #tooru oikawa #tooru oikawa x reader #haikyuu angst #hq angst #oikawa angst #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu imagine #hq oneshot #hq imagine #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #hq x reader #hq oikawa #hq x you #hq imagines #hq scenarios #oikawa scenarios #tooru oikawa x you

[futuresking]

[Floralia - El Turnip] Another passer-by stared... Outright GAWKED, slack-jawed and wide-eyed at the finished product in his hands before their gaze finally reached his own tired expression and they scurried away with a stammered apology. Pent sighed, glancing over to the blue figure lingering a little ways off to the side, holding the carved turnip out like a small animal in both hands. "It isn't THAT bad, is it?" He grimaced. Maybe it was.

✴ ——  if one thing was constant about lucina shining among other virtues, it was her composure. she liked to think without arrogance that she’d seen everything. the world ending tended to do that to you; leave you with nary a hint of surprise or even a palpable feeling when the lightest of situations aroused. 

it was what made her capable of leadership, of duty and raising armies. here, all she had were caramel apples lingering in both hands and wondering if she ought to look for some of her oldest friends to share it with. 

it really wasn’t an eventful day; although her lips were upturned in a smile at seeing the people have such fun... until they weren’t. the nearby couple began to scream rather loudly, nay, profusely, as she felt a presence come from behind.

‘are you alri.... ‘ she began; the blue haired student began; mismatched eyes narrowing in a slight squint as the presence drew closer. truthfully, it would be hard if someone was causing a prank for her to disarm them with three caramel apples, but something told lucina, no, this is had nothing to do with a prank. 

‘....right.’ came her blank, almost shell-shocked response as a voice quite familiar, though she hadn’t really ever had a chance to speak with him prior to now quickly had even herself blinking mutely at the strange...creature in his hands. 

‘professor pent?’ the exalt raised a brow and it slowly fell; voice oddly...flat. as if suspended in a state of incredulous, suspended wonder. or maybe even a bit of trepidation. because what was looking at her was uglier than any risen she had ever seen...

... and she had no heart to tell the weary man before her that it was. 

‘ erm, did you carve that, professor pent? ‘ slowly, perhaps too slowly. as if processing in the midst of her brain malfunctioning at it leering at her. yes, leering!

politely, smile mirroring her words albeit a bit strained, quite a feat for one everyone depended on to be at ease in chaos. you aren’t going to win hearts with it, professor, she thought with no small amount of pity...

...or disturbance. 

( how did someone even make something like that? dark magic?  ) 

meeting his eyes carefully, she perused her words; wordlessly, almost in pity offering him a most fervent and humble plea, please, just stop. of course, this was all unspoken but the mildly baffled look on her face spoke volumes.

  maybe she hadn’t seen everything. 

‘ it’s very...very unique! quite. in fact, i have never seen anything like it! ‘ gods, by naga’s name that came out wrong. hastily, lucina stood closer to put a hand to the...the thing professor pent was carrying as if it was some cursed cross to bear. 

she couldn’t say it wasn’t, the vegetable was sapping the life from him. at this rate it would her, too.

 as if done being briefly frozen, a kind, if not concerned look for how haggard the poor man seemed lit her face; free hand reaching to pat it once, awkwardly, then again, and again, and again. someone had to share sympathy, and it wasn’t like she had the heart to say, ‘yes professor, it is that bad.’

‘it’s almost...oddly cute, it’s er, almost smiling! yes, a bit stiff but it’s trying! if.. if you think about it! yes, it is! smiling, that is! yes! ” a beat, as awkward silence prevailed, her smile becoming more and more strained before she finally let loose a soft sigh.

‘........professor pent? please take a caramel apple.’ a long pause before she held the cursed, gremlin of a vegetable in her arms at least for enough time for him to take a bite and enjoy something other than this...most unique turnip(?).

‘i think you need one more than i do.’ 

gods....

#houseofreglay #im losing my minD #toafloralia2020 #𝙄𝙉 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍 ✴ —— like a polestar in the night you emerge. #𝙌𝙐𝙀𝙍𝙔 ✴ —— . #please eat the apple professor let urself rest...

[fritoshrimp]

Snippet of short story

I never thought I'd be convicted of a crime.

Nor did I ever think I'd be descending the stairs of a dungeon.

The same stairwell thieves from fantasy books walked down.

An unpleasant odor of decay and urine draws me out of my mind. To stop the gagging, I hold my breath until my lungs decide to fail me –I've never felt so betrayed. 

The stench was intense. So much that I paused mid-step, only to have the guard behind me push me roughly.

"Keep up, we don't want to be down here longer than we need to." He growled like an angry Chihuahua from hell.

"Listen, it was a big misunderstanding. This isn't even my world!" I said through measured breathing. It was going to take a while to get used to the smell.

"Silence bandit, when the king speaks. His word becomes law. And the law states you to be thrown into the dungeon."

"Plea–"

"Silence!" I feel a unexpected pain in my back. The guard had struck me with the hilt of his sword.

"Next time I use the blade." The Chihuahua from hell threatened.

I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut for now.

As my feet meet the cobbled floor I feel a sense of dread. Maybe it was the realization that this was real. 

The room was dark with small lanterns lighting the walls. The narrow hall had cells lined down the path.

I heard creaking and shuffling.

It's like those horror games where you're led to an abandoned asylum with a switchblade you found on a dead carcass.

I felt vulnerable.

Then I noticed it. I was being watched. I saw two pairs of eyes fixed on me –Make that ten.

The prisoners cling to the bars and rattled them.

"This one won't last!" One cackled like a hyena.

"Four days."

"Two!"

More laughter until the guards finally decided to stop them.

"Enough! Or does anyone want to join Mytos tonight?" At that, they go silent. Some withdraw into their cells while others just keep staring.

I wondered who Mytos was. by the sound of it, he wasn't good company.

I began to feel distressed. What could I do to get out? This whole situation was unreal. Before I can feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, I uplift myself.

I could do this. I just had to hold out a little longer. I would find a way out of this place. I just needed to be patient.

We abruptly stopped in front of a cell.

The guard that was behind me walked toward the door and opened it with a silver key. Even the keys were cliche. He held a hundred keys in a single keyring holder. How could anyone distinguish them?

The guard proceeded to grab me, his fingers sank into my skin, and without sympathy he shoved me inside the cell. 

I stumbled and fell awkwardly on my knees. I let out a hiss at the sting from the impact.

"This is your cell until the hearing. The king will decide then if you live or die. See ya then." 

"Wait" I stopped him. "What about these?" I raised my bounded wrist.

The Chihuahua from hell, whom I can see now, stroked his dark beard. 

"I could take them off but it would be more amusing seeing you helpless. Maybe if you can make it past the first few days I'll take them off." He laughed and shut the gate.

How was I supposed to do anything with my hands tied? Anger rouse in my chest, burning my cheeks as he walked away with two other guards dressed in their ridiculous armor.

I bet no woman loves you!" This is what I wanted to say. Instead, I sat quietly and watched them disappear.

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