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#there's this idea that the more 'able' you look the more it must be true
the-greatest-8 · 19 hours
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Obi-wan has had visions before, even when he was in the creche. It was a simple fact by now. Master Yoda had even offered comfort before, after a particularly difficult one. Obi-wan was well aware the risk of reading too far into them- because that simply wasn't how they worked. 'Always in motion, the future is.' Obi-wan knew this.
However- Obi-wan had one vision, one, that he hoped so desperately would become true. It always started the same, he would feel so light, so free- It was a comfort he has clung to in his darkest moments. He would be in bed, warm, and content. He would hear the sound of rustling next to him, before arms would wrap around him. Obi-wan always remembers how he sinks into, how he'd fall back asleep. That's how the vision always ends. It was never enough- not enough information.
Obi-wan wanted so deeply to know how to make that vision real. He knew it wasn't proper; He was just a man though, he tried so hard to follow all the rules- but oh, how he wanted. That feeling never left, even during the war he was in now. If anything, it made him wish even more, for a warmth to keep him grounded around all the deaths. Around all the sorrow after battle, Obi-wan just wanted to feel safe, like in the vision.
It wasn't often, he wouldn't mope, not when he was needed at his best. It was moments like this, however, when the desires in him felt suffocating. The last mission him and his men went on was successful, very successful. Morale was high, and so a stop into town to celebrate was made.
Obi-wan had been corralled into joining, as had Cody. It was enjoyable, even, he drank plenty with his men as they all laughed and told stories. Obi-wan was even sporting a buzz, he was happy, he had realized. Here, with his men, next to his loyal Commander. It made him pause for a second, surprised. Cody, vigilant as ever, took notice and sent him a look, feeling questioning in the force.
Obi-wan smiled at Cody, "I'm fine, Commander, I simply was surprised at something." Obi-wan said exasperatedly. Cody hummed, "If you don't mind me asking General, what was it?" He asked, and sipped his drink. Obi-wan huffed, "I just realized I'm enjoying myself, that's all my dear." He says. Cody smiled then, a soft expression that momentarily made Obi-wans heart flutter.
"I'm glad, sir, we've all noticed you've been tense." Cody said, his worry in the Force being replaced with a soothed, content feeling- and the gentle flames of fondness. Obi-wan almost stuttered, his face flushing slightly. Obi-wan felt warm, his heart raced while he worked on keeping his face straight.
The Force was entirely unhelpful, almost mockingly it made him more aware of how soothing Cody feels to him. Obi-wan decided then he was far to sober for this, and ordered another drink. He doesn't remember a single thing after.
Obi-wan awoke feeling warm, and content, surprisingly without a hangover too. He must have filtered his blood through the force before bed, he thinks distantly. He was sleepy, not entirely certain what woke him, so he just let himself feel. He was floating in soft feelings, he felt light and free, his troubles seemed all the more distant. Obi-wan doesn't remember feeling like this, not in a long while at least. Obi-wan hears rustling next to him, and before he can panic about another person in his bed, strong arms wrap around him and pull him close. "Go back to sleep, General.." a half asleep Cody mutters, before he fully succumbs to his rest once more. Obi-wan pauses, his heart thudding in his chest, and face ablaze.
Obi-wan decides this is a dilemma for future Obi-wan, and sinks into the embrace. He fleetingly thinks about his vision, but is unable to put more thought into it as he drifts off once more. A smile on his lips.
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Authors note-
Honestly I'm not sure I'm happy with this one. Maybe I'll try again later, but I had to write my idea down or I wouldn't be able to to remember it lol. Hope you like it 😊.
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uncanny-tranny · 9 months
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A huge reason I'm still going to the gym as frequently and working out as intensely as I can is because I think it would be iconic if I ever need to start using more visible aids while being buff as fuck. Plus, if an asshole is going to be ableist toward me, I'd have a convenient cane and convenient arm strength with which to use the cane.
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god i love making people talk a lot about their fave character and it's a pleasant bonus if their fave character is also my fave character so don't you think i didn't read under the cut (i did i was very excited to get the answer With The Cut daemn) so yeah no i didn't get back to square one cause actually i had some thoughts and i think the most possible way for him to be is like. somewhere in-between? because yeah the possibility of him never growing out of his aoki era clothes (i presume, he must be used to this after years of being ryo aoki) is high cause at least that's the clothes he has now and that's how he rolls now and what not. but! i think he might lean a bit back to his emo swag era - not even close to how it was in his twenties, but i guess we can let the man have some bracelets or necklace - i have my doubts about him going back to politics (the man cringefailed so hard at this i would be ashamed to show my face in this field again daemn... but maybe he can put his skills to use at ijincho heck why not but that's the whole 'nother story) so i think he can allow himself to dress more freely while still stickin to his usual clothes. believe me you can't undo the damage to your brain and taste caused by emo goth swag era of your life im speaking from experience you can hide but you can't run. damn i hope it makes sense im too sleepy to sketch anything rn but ill do it later cause im haunted by visions byeeee
the inescapable hold of your goth era as a teenager/young adult is true and i was a fool to doubt it- it would manifest in one way or another you're right
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sttoru · 27 days
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Sukuna with clingy concubine 🛐🛐 like hella clingy, always clinging to sukuna, sitting on his lap and just following sukuna like a lost puppy
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 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. true form!sukuna x concubine! female reader. fluff. little bit suggestive. size difference. reader is clingy, a bit of an airhead ig. reader gets called ‘girl, brat’.
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“y’re annoying me, girl,” sukuna grumbles as he walks to the courtyard. you had magically appeared behind him the moment he stepped out of his room to get some fresh air.
you flash him an apologetic smile “i’m sorry, my lord.” you’re not sorry, sukuna knows, though he doesn’t comment on it. it’s been like this ever since a week or two ago. he cannot recall why you’re suddenly so much more affectionate.
he doesn’t wait on you, however, and takes big strides towards the courtyard. if your little legs can’t keep up, that isn’t his problem. you frown and take on the challenge that’s been thrown your way.
you increase your pace and nearly run after sukuna. you have to lift your kimono a little to make sure you wouldn’t trip over the fabric. it doesn’t seem like you’ll give up any time soon as you follow him with that same content expression on your face.
sukuna can’t believe that a human like you dares to even be in his presence for so long. he didn’t call for you, so why are you adamant on staying with him? he concludes that something must be up, “what’d you want from me?”
there hangs a silence between you two afterwards. sukuna’s slow yet heavy footsteps reverberate through the hallway, followed by your quick and light ones. you pout as you notice that the king of curses isn’t even sparing you a glance, “nothing at all. i just like to be with you.”
you add the latter as an afterthought. you don’t expect sukuna to react to that, so you continue to trail behind him into the courtyard. “tch,” you hear him scoff in annoyance. you’re sure he doesn’t mean any actual harm by that, so you don’t take it personally.
sukuna eventually sits down on the engawa, where the servants have placed the comfy zabuton cushions. there’s always one for you as well—right next to sukuna’s. it’s become a habit for the maids to include you in sukuna’s daily routines since you’re always with him.
you eye your own cushion, though don’t make an effort to actually sit down on it. sukuna stares ahead, not bothered to notice you at the moment. you look down at his lap, recalling just how perfectly you can fit on it.
you don’t waste any more time and plop down on his thick thighs, your back against his chest. sukuna’s brow twitches at the sudden contact. his bottom pair of eyes look down at you whilst the upper ones keep looking at the nature in front of you both.
“get off me,” the king of curses commands through a low tone. he doesn’t push you off, however. that alone should tell you enough; he’s tolerating your behaviour as per usual. or perhaps he secretly likes your proximity.
you shall never discover which of the two it actually is.
“nooooooo,” you exaggerate with a whine. you don’t want to. you wrap both of your arms around one of sukuna’s—clinging onto him like your life depends on it. he simply responds by sighing.
you know sukuna’s able to grab you by the collar and force you to sit down on the cushion beside him, but he doesn’t. your heart flutters every time sukuna shows some tolerance to your clingy behavior. it means that maybe—just maybe—he’s opening up to the idea of being more affectionate with you.
“such a fuckin’ brat,” sukuna simply puts one hand on your waist, the others supporting his weight on the engawa. he grumbles, but there are clear signs of him relaxing with you in his presence.
you chuckle at the realisation and swing your legs in excitement. sukuna unexpectedly bites your ear in response to your increased activity on his lap, “stay still or i’ll kick you off.”
you let out a small whimper as you feel his fangs gently sick into your earlobe. you jolt back and rub the skin with your hand, looking up at sukuna with a playful frown before teasing him back. you roll your eyes and answer him with a firm yet mocking, “sir yes, sir!”
sukuna clicks his tongue at your tease. you answer him like he��s some general in the military. that’s not the kind of relationship he has with you—it’s more than that. even though he knows you’re joking, he dislikes it when you call him anything other than ‘my lord’, ‘my king’, or just his name.
he finds great satisfaction in the way you refer to him as such. you’re the only one who can make sukuna grin each time you remind him of his status and the power he has over you.
the power dynamic; it’s addictive.
he needs more of it.
sukuna reaches out to grab your face with one hand, but you’re quick to pull your head back the moment you see that intimidatingly big hand coming down onto your vision. you clear your throat and apologise, “i mean—yes, my lord.”
the king of curses hums in content. that title is exactly what he had been looking for. he retracts his hand and settles it back down on your waist, patting your sides twice to show his satisfaction with your obedience.
you stop squirming around in his lap and simply lay back down in his arms. you close your eyes and nearly fall asleep because of the comfortable atmosphere. the slight breeze against your face is relaxing and perfectly compliments the warmth from sukuna’s body.
what a perfect way to spend your day.
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Him (Them)
( So I decided 'fuck it' pitch pearl babyyy, I've seen other people do this ship and decided well why the hell not right. Anyways have fun!)
~
Phantom and his council were finally in the end processes to a peace treaty with Earth,
As years went on from what was once only the USA with their Ecto-Acts got worse. The GIW began opening in other countries without them truly realizing what they were allowing, until the Infinity Realms were at the point of declaring war on all of Earth itself.
The only reason that managed not to happen was because of Phantom finally being able to contact the Justice League and sit them down to have an actual conversation about everything that was going on.
That's where they were right now the world leaders, the 3 founders of the JL , and High King Phantom with his council arguing back and forth the peace treaty.
Phantom turned as one of the men stood up
" And just how are we supposed to truly trust you and yours to not take over or cause harm to our people?"
Others began chiming in, arguing that there was no true guarantee in what Phantom was saying.
Until a voice towards the back called out an idea
" Marriage! To truly unite our worlds in peace King Phantom must marry one of our own!"
Phantom subtly tensed the idea of a loveless marriage to a complete stranger made his core tremble with rage.
He glanced around seeing the looks of the people around him, he saw their greed for his power and status, their point for the marriage would be to control him or at least give them an advantage.
Phantom tuned out the arguing between the JL and the rest.
Thinking of what to say to get out of this situation without risking the treaty.
Snapping back to attention holding back a sharp smirk.
" Gentlemen if what you fear is the safety of your people then do not fret I have protected and saved your people and world since my creation, as for your request of a marriage to unify our world then I have wonderful news for I am already married to one of your people and even have children with him."
Phantom looked at the shocked faces around him, a couple grimacing or frowning at their missed opportunity to have control and access to him by one of their chosen.
A rather stupid man for what else could he be with what he said next.
" Then divorce him and marry someone that we find more suitable!"
Phantom's form distorted around him as he processed what he had just heard.
" Divorce? You wish for me to Divorce my husband, the one who I cherish above all else, the one I have shared my core the very being of myself with. The one who I gave my very being and soul to create our children. The one who is half my being, the one who if not for him we wouldn't be speaking at this moment because it was only his word that kept me from declaring war on your world."
"Make no mistake I do wish for peace between our worlds, many of my people are from this world and would like to continue to stay or visit especially for their loved ones, and I would like that for them without the danger of being hunted and torn apart."
"For if I wished war your planet would not stand a chance for what is a few million of your soldiers compared to my infinite soldiers that only would continue to grow as yours died."
"For him I fought and won against the previous tyrant King for daring to to cause him pain, the very King who only was defeated previously by the combined efforts of the strongest in the Infinite Realms, The very same King I defeated alone."
"So please do continue talking against my husband."
"..."
"What is his name?"
"Danny Fenton."
~
Just an Idea
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kenntolog · 13 days
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hihi!!
i saw ur inbox was open so could i request drunk loser gf and cool bf sukuna taking care of her? maybe them going to a party together to get her out of her shell a little? ofc it doesnt have to be that, whatever u think is good!! thanks!
𝝑𝝔 an: hey hey!! i hope u like this!! i started kinda feeling insecure about my writings ngl, i have no idea why :(( ignore any typos or grammar errors, ill edit a little later.
read more here!!
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cool boyfriend sukuna is so sure that his loser girlfriend won’t even try to get drunk at the party at his teammates house, it’s actually kind of funny, because that is, in fact, true.
somehow the cups of water you are getting from the kitchen taste a little bit stronger and you ask a random girl for something more sweet and, well, drinkable for you. a not so trustworthy looking pinkish mix is then shoved into your hand and when you take a sip of it, it actually doesn’t feel that bad so you just continue.
all that whilst you’re roaming around free of sukuna, since he wanted to have some fun with the boys and you didn’t want to hold him back. sukuna himself would never think of you that way, but he still lets you be so you can get out of your comfort zone a little, without his constant support. you kind of agreed with him on that, feeling a bit embarrassed.
so of course it’s a surprise for sukuna when about an hour later geto tugs him away with a concerned look in his purple eyes, saying it’s about you and how he ‘needs to see this’. he is not drunk, since he has to drive you both home, not even that tipsy, he just had a few cups of beer and maybe a shot, so he is able to function properly. and he gets a little worried.
and then he finally recognises your face in the room, body stilling in shock as he watches you.
on top of a small table with some other girl, your arms around her waist and hers around your neck as you both sway, jump and push into each other seductively, dancing to the beat of a catchy, well-known song.
he can’t take his eyes off of you. although a little clumsy and untrained, compared to the girl’s movements, yours still make him and seemingly other people somehow hypnotised.
sukuna must admit, he is mesmerised too because you’re his pretty loser girlfriend, you know? you don’t ever do stuff like this, you were even reluctant to go to this party since it’s not your cup of tea. how come you’re so different when you’re under the influence of alcohol? he has no idea.
it doesn’t take long for you to notice him and clumsily jump down from the table right into his arms. smiling wide and bright at him with sparkly eyes as you hang off of him, letting him tug you around and just giggling into his chest while he gets a little frustrated with you because your limbs seem to be very cooperative when you’re drunk.
only your arms seem to be permanently glued around his neck, your lips pecking the sensitive skin, which kind of bothers him. that slight rasp in your honey-sweet voice, the dazed look in your eyes, your loud breathing — it makes him want to devour you…
he still has to get you home, though, so he promises himself to get back at you later.
the ride to your place is surprisingly silent. it seems like you’ve finally spent all of your energy and chose to curl on his passenger seat, looking out of the window while one of your hands held tightly onto his.
getting you out of clothes is one of the harder trials it seems; you are stronger than you look like, sukuna realises that when you pull him onto yourself while laying on the bed as soon as he finishes changing your clothes. legs wrapping around his waist along with your arms around his neck, you let him smother you into the sheets while he curses you quietly and responds to your affections with small kisses of his own. sukuna can’t resist you, ever.
washing your makeup off is a relatively easy task, yet brushing your teeth is a whole other level. sukuna wouldn’t bother if it was for himself, yet he does it for you since you’d hate to sleep with your mouth still dirty.
but you make it so hard!! hugging him close to yourself, he can barely push you away because you’re stuck as if permanently glued so he opts on cupping your jaw to move your head slightly to be able to put the brush in your mouth. you whine at the sudden intrusion, brows pinching in the middle as you try to pull away.
“‘kuna~”
“stop acting like a baby,” he rolls his eyes with a ‘tsk’ and shakes you a little.
bad idea. tears spring out of eyes as they scrunch and your still foamy mouth parts slightly in a childish cry. oh he hates to see you cry.
sukuna kisses your forehead gently as he puts away the toothbrush, “shh, sorry, ‘m sorry, baby,” he gently pats your back, urging you to spit out the remains of toothpaste, “c’mon.”
you do as he says, giving him a pouty look, and continue clinging onto him. sukuna shakes his head and offers you his hand, to which you immediately hug his whole arm and let him lead you to bed.
clinging onto him like a baby, truly living up to your nickname, you lay on top of him, clean and satisfied while sukuna slowly rubs your back. tiredness and exhaustion get the best of him, so he is unable to fully catch on to your lovely monologue filled with your honest words that accentuate your love for him, however the last thing he hears is ‘love you, ‘kuna, you’re the best’ and it’s enough to bring a pleased smile on his face.
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slushycoookie · 3 months
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Kissing Practice ~ Miguel O'Hara × Spider AFAB! Reader +18!!
A/N: Had this short idea late at night so enjoy this little somn somn. ALSO, thank you for the 100 followers!!! I'm happy you all really like my stuff. <3 (Ignore the format, I'm trying out different stuff).
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Miguel froze, staring at you as the question you asked him replayed in his mind.
You wanted to practice kissing…on him. Out of all those days he spent pining on you, admiring you from afar, you go ahead and ask him this. He couldn’t believe it. He must be dreaming.
“I’m sorry…repeat that again.” He asked you, wanting to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
You rolled your eyes. “You heard me. I want you to help me practice kissing. For a guy I like.”
His shoulders deflated at that last sentence. Of course you weren’t asking to kiss him because you liked him. It was for someone else you liked. Not him.
“Why are you asking me?” He turned his back to you, pretending to go back to work and not be bothered by the pang in his chest.
“Because you’re my friend.” You maneuvered to get a good look at him, not wanting to be shut out. “And friends help each other with stuff.”
Miguel scoffed, the sound almost turning into a laugh. “Friends don’t ask other friends if they could practice kissing one another.”
“Not true.” You retorted, putting up a finger for emphasis, “Teenagers ask their friends all the time to help practice kissing.”
“We’re adults. Not teenagers.”
“I know. That means we’ll be more mature about it.”
His muscles tensed in slight annoyance. Your logic was terrible and didn’t make any sense at all. After all, why were you asking him out of all people? There were plenty of other spider people around your age you could run to. So why him?
As the lab was silent, you peered your face around to meet his eyes. “Come on. I wouldn’t ask anyone else.” He felt his shoulder getting poked by your finger. “I always think I don’t kiss that well. And I wanna get better at that. You seem like you have some experience…”
Miguel shut his eyes as he thought for a moment. This would get really bad fast if he didn't have any self-control. He always pictured kissing you, just not in these circumstances. But you were asking him. And you two were great friends. That’s exactly what he was doing. Helping out a friend.
“Fine.” His heart flipped at your squeal with joy, “Let’s do it now.”
You stopped at that, looking around as if anyone else heard him. “Right now?” He nodded. You weren’t expecting that response. Or for him to say yes. So you dug into the pocket of your spider suit, digging for something you said was very important. Your lip balm. The same one he’s watched you put on many times. How the red-colored product glided along your full lips. Adding a red tint to them. He had to resist staring at you directly, folding his arms as you smacked your lips.
“Okay. I’m ready.” You stood close to him, a small smile on your face. Your eyes were closed, lips puckered up and ready for a kiss. He stepped closer. Ignoring how the soft feeling of your body was against his. Miguel licked his dry lips before leaning down and pressing a small peck on your own. Hints of strawberry lingered around his nose while you blinked in question.
“Really? That’s it?”
“Yes. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
You sucked your teeth, “I said kiss, Miguel. Full on lip action. Not a little baby kiss.”
“That was a peck. Not a baby kiss.” He argued back, running his hand across his face.
“You heard what I said right? How am I going to learn from a peck?”
Miguel shook his head, stepping back into your space and placing a firm hand on your lower back. You were fully flushed against him as his other hand cradled your cheek. He leaned in and kissed you like you wanted. It was slow and gentle as he wanted to savor how you felt against his own lips. Kissing you like this was like the last time he was able to.
When he pulled away, your face was flushed. The red tint from your lip balm was a little faded, he was sure there was some on his lips. But he wanted to kiss you again.
“H-How was that?” You asked after clearing your throat.
Miguel shrugged, “You could be better.” Inside, you did perfectly. He didn’t understand why you needed practice in the first place. “We should keep practicing so you can get better.”
“Okay.” You nodded in agreement, “How does tomorrow sound?”
He had to hold himself back from smiling, “Tomorrow sounds great.”
Everyday he set some time for you to come into his lab and kiss him. It was only for ten minutes. Ten minutes of holding you close, enjoying your soft lips against his own. And then pulling away as if nothing happened.
There were times when you wanted to switch it up. Add tongue or a bite on the lip. Miguel was happy to oblige as you allowed his tongue to slip in, gliding along your own with fervor. Giving a gentle nip to your bottom lip whenever he pulled away. He took note of the sounds you made each time you kissed. And there were times he got carried away, his groans mixing in with your moans. And it took all the strength he had to not take it further. Because this was for someone else you liked.
“What about during sex?”
He almost choked on his cold coffee, “What? What do you mean?”
“You know, kissing during sex? I was never good at that either.”
Miguel’s talons were digging into the console. You weren’t suggesting…?
“You want to kiss during sex?” You nodded quickly and he took a deep breath. “That’s not…You should ask somebody else…”
You waved him away, “It’s just kissing during sex. No big deal.”
“It’s a very big deal.” He was over you again, chest heaving. But Miguel wasn’t angry. The complete opposite. He was making sure that you really wanted to do that with him. Be completely intimate. You didn’t back down, taking this entire conversation casually.
“There’s no one I’d rather do it with.”
Miguel’s lips rarely left yours. Not as he peeled your clothes away from you at his apartment. Placing you on the bed as if you were delicate. Even as he thrusted into you. Feeling your walls stretch around him as he kissed you with infatuation. He took everything from you. Your pleasant cries drowned against his embrace. He was determined to show you that the person you did like should be doing this to you. Not anyone else. Not even him.
He was emotional as he sat on the end of his bed. Miguel knew you all shouldn’t do this again. Especially after you tell this guy that you like him. He wondered who it could be. Who stole your heart before he could?
You shifted against him; eyes lowered in satisfaction. He stared at you as if you were in a dream. Someone he couldn’t get enough of.
“Miguel?” He hummed when you called, wondering what you needed. “You’re the guy I like.”
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genderkoolaid · 23 days
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expand on ur "mental asylum Marxism shit" thing about children & grief?? from what you've said im pretty sure i will relate from my own experiences as a grieving child. also it sounds interesting!!
so i was thinking about how weird it is that, when a child has to deal with the death of a loved one, they say something like "no child should have to go through this! no child should have to even think about death!" which strikes me as weird because i was a child who dealt with the deaths of multiple close family members, very close together. the first was my great-grandmother, who i lived with and who was my best friend. death was never foreign to me (my mom has always been very death-positive on top of all that). grief was just part of my life like everything else was.
but i realized that its because people think childhood should not have any flaws. you should be 100% happy and fulfilled all the time. any time a child experiences anything painful, its bad. not "children should have access to love and support," but "children should not have basic life experiences because the idea of childhood being anything other than fluffy purity scares me."
because children in society are fundamentally not people. especially in a society structured around christian beliefs in natural law theory, that what is natural = what is good, healthy, and Divinely commanded. so on top of children being the property of adults, they are also forced to be the symbols of Nature. whatever is the most useful to whoever needs them. which means we built up this idea of children as tabula rasas, pureness incarnate. like a magic mirror where if we look into it, we'll be able to catch a glimpse of the true face of humanity. every single thing children do can be scrutinized for some grand truth about humans as a whole. and then, the ways children are treated also reflect how we think humanity should interact with its own nature.
example: the idea of humanity as inherently sinful and wicked, with that urge needing to be suppressed through state violence (hello hobbes) = the idea that children are annoying and shitty on purpose and need to be forced via punishment into being Good Citizens.
this is also why children cannot be trans, even though all trans people must prove that we were trans children. being queer must be unnatural; and even if not, its inherently sexual, and sexuality is dirty and bad. so children can't be trans, and they also can't read books on puberty until their parents decide when and what exactly they are allowed to learn. child victims of sexual assault only matter to the extent that they can be used as a symbol of a cultural threat; calling Jewish or trans people pedophiles means saying that they are foreigners attacking basic human nature, and indirectly, Divine command. if you aren't the right kind of victim, or when you inevitably reveal yourself to be A Person with complicated experiences and opinions, you are no longer of use to the agenda.
it sucks that bad things happen to anyone. aspects of youth can exacerbate the pain sometimes, but sometimes it does the reverse: I wish I could have spent more time with the family members I lost, but I know other people who are glad they loss family members young, because they weren't really hurt by it. I think the main thing is that, even sometimes when we talk about our past selves, we project this cultural idea of Child As Purity and ignore the actual person having the experience. when we "empathize" with children by projecting Purity onto them, we aren't actually connecting with them.
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urfavleo777 · 6 months
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warnings: age gap, tattoo artist! colby x reader, alcohol
"Angel's wings!" your best friend exclaims, speaking completely seriously. Your other friend approves, clapping her hands eagerly. "Get them tattooed!"
You almost choke on your drink when you hear how seriously Katrina gives you a new idea for your first tattoo. If someone told you that friendship between three people doesn't exist, you would laugh at them. The three of you are living proof that it's not the number of people in the group that matters, but the love that exists between you. Each of you is different, but that is the most beautiful thing. There is nothing worse than boredom and monotony in friendship.
"Come on, you'll be eighteen in an hour. Do something that will make you happy, not your parents." Sophia, usually the voice of reason, tries to convince you.
You don't know if it's the alcohol you just drank, but in a split second you undergo an internal transformation. You'll be of age in an hour. No one will be able to lecture you. Even your parents who, instead of spending this birthday time with their daughter, decided to go to the mountains. At first you reacted with sadness, but over time you were glad that the situation had turned out this way because you could invite your two favorite girls over for the night.
Katrina and Sophia look at you with impatient eyes, encouraging you to make a quick decision. You take a deep breath, tilting your head back. As pathetic as it sounds, you try your hardest to get advice from the ceiling.
You look back at your waiting friends. They send drunken glances your way, which only reinforces the fact that you must probably look like one of them at this point. Sophia and Katarina's eyes widen. Something unexpected is about to happen; something that will change the course of history forever.
Katarina clenches her fists like a true boxing legend, preparing for the worst possible scenario. With each subsequent inhalation, you feel even more excitement and arousal wash over you. You open your mouth to announce the official verdict.
"If not now, never, right?"
After saying these words, you're crushed under the bodies of these two freaks. And, you swear to yourself that if your parents had been home, after all those squeals of happiness, you would have ended up under a bridge.
"The best decision you've ever made, Y/n! I'm so proud," Sophia squeals excitedly, and Katrina joins in. You realize that you still hold the glass in your hand. You hiss, knowing that you'll definitely need to change the sheets of your bed after tonight. "Don't worry about it! Let's go to the tattoo artist!"
"Now?" you keep mumbling under their bodies.
Katrina and Sophia step away from you, exchanging meaningful glances with each other. You are finally able to catch your breath, but you don't really understand what they're trying to tell you.
"Yes. Now." Sophia grins. "Katrina, are you thinking about the same person as me?"
The friend nods her head in response, also with a big grin on her face.
"Oh, yeah! The handsomest, hottest and most expensive tattoo artist in town," she starts counting and you wonder why you've never heard of him before. "Y/n, we guarantee you the best fucking fun."
"Let's fucking do this!" They both squeal, grabbing your hands and pulling you out of the bed.
***
"You guys didn't even give me a chance to change clothes!"
You are wearing a black body suit and really low rise jeans so people on the street can see a bit of skin, which makes you feel a little uncomfortable.
"You look great." Sophia assures you and Katrina nods to her. Well, they're wearing perfectly balanced sweaters compared to you. They decided to make you the main star without outshining you with clothes. You feel like standing out of the crowd, which you don't like very much.
"Do you think this tattoo artist will accept us without prior consultation?" you ask, genuinely curious. "Maybe we should call him? We'd better get back home..."
"Relax, Y/n," you turn into a street you've probably never been to. Katrina tries to convince you, but with each step you take, you become less and less sure. Even though your parents have well-paid jobs, they usually don't let you hang around the rich districts. They would be disappointed if they knew that while they were away their daughter was getting a tattoo, not really knowing where.
"You said he was an expensive tattoo artist. I don't think I want to spend money this way." You continue, feeling the alcohol drain from you. You regain consciousness and regret saying yes to your friends. "Maybe we should really turn back?"
"Y/n," you stop in front of a building emanating LED light. The girls move closer to you and one of them puts a hand on your shoulder. Sophia, the fucking voice of reason, says: 
"He is my brother's friend. They have been friends since childhood. He practiced on my brother, making the first patterns. He would never take money from me or my friends. We are always out of line. Trust me, you're in good hands."
"He was the one who gave me that big tattoo you liked so much," finishes Katrina.
You sigh, trying to convince yourself first and foremost. Sophia pulls out her phone and brings it closer to your face.
The first thing that catches your eye are the huge white numbers on the screen. What's more, they don't seem blurry at all. You must be really sober. You take a deep breath, recalling the quote of your favorite teacher in your head.
12:00. Carpe diem.
 "It's time to go fucking crazy, Y/n." 
***
"Sophia? What's for today?" It’s a male voice. Raspy, yet soft. The sound of it makes you whip your head over to your friends, but you're trying to stay calm. He lets out a heavy sigh before humming to himself in thought. Only after a while he notices that Sophia is not alone. "And who is this?"
"Hello, Colby. Meet Y/n, your new client." 
And the way he shakes your hand is firm but gentle, not as hard as you think it'd be given the size of his biceps probably are larger than your head. But then he softly grips your elbow and guides you into the chair with a hand on your back. "Don't worry, I don't bite."
"Well, I thought I would have to convince you.. longer."
You flush a little under his gaze because he's noticed how you're shaking like a leaf next to him. And the way he smiles indicates he might enjoy biting you anyways... and maybe you'd let him. 
"I was just about to close, but you know perfectly well that I will always make an exception for you, Sophia." Your friend smiles at his words.
"So, what are we doing tonight?" he focuses all his attention on you. You swallow, not really knowing what to answer. Katrina decides to save your ass from total embarrassment.
"Angel's wings." 
He looks like he's about to roll his eyes.
"Seriously, I can't count how many girls asked me for the exact same pattern. Try something more creative."
"I'd like to stick with the wings, please. In a place invisible to the eye."
"Getting a tattoo so you don't show it to anyone? How old are you anyway?"
"Eighteen." He doesn't look convinced. With one movement of your hand, you pull your ID from your back pocket. Colby, as you can guess, surprised by the concrete, grabs the ID in his hand and looks at it carefully.
"She's so young." When he talks about you in the third person, something happens to you. "Are you sure you want those fucking wings?"
"Come on, Colby. You did this to my brother many times." Sophia interjects. "Don't ruin her birthday."
"Ah, yes. Happy birthday or something." You can tell he’s in a good mood based on the playful amusement in his voice. 
"Thanks," you hang your head.
"We have to do something about her shyness." he turns to your friends.
"Maybe wings between her tits? I bet no girl has ever asked for this," suggests Katrina. You almost choke on your saliva. You want to get up from that chair and run out.
"That sounds perfect." His voice is sweet with a touch of flirtiness, and you swear you can hear the smile in it. "What do you think, Y/n?"
"There's no way I'm going to show you my tits." You take courage. Colby laughs loudly. He clearly takes pleasure in your attitude and shakes his head, leaning in to watch you.
"It's your choice." You bite at your lip instead of answering him. 
"Come on, Y/n. We won't look either." Katrina says and Sophia nods.
You've already succumbed to them once in a while. Nothing will stop you from doing it again.
The girls send you their last kisses. After a while, it's just you and your tattoo artist left in the room.
***
You're honestly glad when the uncomfortable silence is drowned out by the song "Ultraviolence" by Lana Del Rey. You asked to simply turn on the radio, but you were surprised when Colby asked you for the title. What was even weirder was when he used the fucking vinyl of one of your favorite albums instead of Spotify.
He hums to himself. "Those are nice."
You got rid of your bra. No one has ever complimented your boobs, but you smile slightly, burying your face in your hands.
He gives you a little wink before stenciling what you had in mind, his fingertips tracing the lines of the ink that leaves goosebumps across your skin.
There's a lingering feeling as he pulls his hand back. You think he's toying with you. Frightful little thing, you are and here he is wanting to play with his pretty little client. Next thing you know, his hand is around your throat.
You tense and realize that he has moved some of your hair to the other side to give more access to the space between your tits. It definitely could have been done easier and better, but the twinkle in his eyes said he did it on purpose. Oh yes, he was definitely having fun with you. The way his hand barely grazed your throat and the side of your neck before he would gently scratch your arm with his blunt nails and pull away.
He let's out a huff of quiet laughter and then gets his tools ready. "So, y/n, you have a safeword?"
And you're brought out of your thoughts about his large hands because... "Huh?"
"A safeword. It's big."
W..what's big? You can't stop your eyes from flitting down to his thighs and what may lie between them. He laughs and shifts so your eyes are instantly back up and staring at his eyes that glimmer in amusement.
"The tattoo, I mean. It's a big piece. Need to know if it'll be too much, yeah?"
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tarotwithavi · 3 months
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Random messages for you
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How to choose a pile?
Close your eyes and kindly ask your spirit guides or guardian angels to choose the right pile for you and then open your eyes, whichever pile attracts you is the right pile for you.
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PILE 1
The person who doesn't choose a side often finds themselves aligned with the wrong one.
Some of you are about to enter a new relationship. You guys literally manifested this person.
Let go of regret of the past. What's done is done. It cannot be changed, instead focus on the present.
Slow and steady always wins the race. Remember slow progress is still progress. Descipline is better than motivation. Because motivation will start declining with time, discipline will not.
I see that you're trying to manifest your dream friend group, it may take some time.
Some of you are about to be recognised for your appearance. You may get accepted for modeling.
You're about to be in a position of authority. Do not abuse your power. Be humble.
You have two choices either start from zero or go with the flow. Choose wisely.
I see a group of three friends meeting. You may reconnect with some old friends.
I also see that you're able to win something. You're going to attract a lot of attention.
Pile 2
You're about to enter the luckiest time of your life. You'll start experiencing miracles from left to right.
I see that some of you are trying to change your mindset around money and I want to let you know that it'll help you a lot.
Some of you may get the chance to travel to your dream country this year.
I see a proposal from a fire sign in the near future but I must warn you that this person is not ready for commitment.
Something you wished for a long time ago is going to come true.
Ask for help when needed. You cannot do everything alone.
Develop a new skill, it'll help you in future.
Let your creative ideas come to life. start something new.
Have balance Between your logical and emotional side.
I see that coy fish is going to be really significant for you.
You need to realise that the prison you're living in is created by your mind.
Go on a vacation and enjoy your time, plan out fun activities with the people you love, spend more time with your pets.
Pile 3
someone from your past is thinking about you, this person may be a bit older than you but they seem immature for their age.
you should move on from that situationship, it was not worth you time and energy.
i see that some if you are going to encounter a new person, this person will become a great friend to you. this person may be born in february.
i am getting the message that some of you will move to a new place by the next new moon.
someone has their eyes on you, this person may be a doctor or studying medicine.
you should use affirmation "i am ready" and add the thing yiu want to manifest, like "I am ready for my dream job"etc.
If you are planning to get a new haircut you should wait sometimes or dont go to your regular hairdresser because i see that they may mess it up this time.
i see a new job oppotunity coming towards you in the nest 10 days, this job may be related to dealing wth cash or finances.
Look out for toxic habits and behaviors, dont hold onto things that are not serving you anymore.
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screamin-abt-haikyuu · 3 months
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You're jealous but you can't do anything because you're not dating him (Part 7) - Wakatoshi Ushijima
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Pairing: Ushijima x Fem! reader
Genre: Angst to fluff
Warnings: none, really? Reader calls him Toshi.
Requested by: @ushisrever
A/N: Can't believe I posted the last update to this more than two years ago. Has it really been that long???? The incomplete series has been bothering me for two years now lmao. Didn't think I'd ever find a fitting scenario for Ushiwaka but thanks to @dira333 helping me sound off some ideas, I was able to get that perfect "snap!" you get when you fit a puzzle piece in perfectly. Gave me enough brain juice to write this out before going back into hibernation.
Serving you some fresh, hot angst and then some lol. Enjoy the burn and then the healing. For someone who was as far removed from Ushiwaka (emotionally) as one can, writing this actually made me see him in a new light. Loved writing him. Hopefully, it stays as true to his canon nature as it can. Hopefully I don't trash this before it's out💀 but if you're reading this, it's good lol.
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It feels like the entire Shiratorizawa is at the gates of the school.
"I can't believe she's coming to our school!"
"AAA I can't stop imagining how she'll look in our school uniform."
"Do you think she already has a boyfriend? Maybe I have a chance?"
"I don't know about a boyfriend but you certainly don't have a chance with her."
"Must you always be so cruel?!"
"If you think a star child actor who has made it so big in the industry is going to date a simpleton like you, you're delusional."
You sigh, annoyed, as you try to make your way through the babbling crowd. You're already late for your morning classes and you couldn't care any less about Hoshiko Nakamura. Or any celebrity for that matter.
"In fact, I don't think any boy in this school has a chance with her. Hmm... except maybe Ushiwaka? Not that he'd be interested in dating her anyway. Sometimes I feel like that guy doesn't have any emotions at all."
Your ears perk up at the Ace's name.
Wakatoshi Ushijima has become somewhat of a celebrity at school ever since he was selected for the under 19 representative for Japan in the Youth World Championship.
He was already well known as the formidable volleyball player who crushes any team that he takes on. However, his serious and stoic nature has kept most people from approaching him. Till now, at least.
The girl was right. Wakatoshi wouldn't even think about dating anyone. You seem fairly sure of that. However, the suggestion still leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
You're wrong about him not having any emotions you think as you finally break free from the crowd and sprint towards your classroom.
You've known Wakatoshi for as long as you can remember. You remember when his family moved into the house next to yours when you were just little kids. You remember watching the reserved, determined figure of the boy practicing volleyball all by himself in the nearby park. You remember going up to him and offering to play with him. Out of all these memories, the most vivid of them all was the way his eyes subtly lit up when you said you wanted to play with him.
Time has blurred into a haze since then. Even though you both went to different schools all through junior and middle school years, you both kept alive the tradition of playing volleyball together in park.
"You should come to Shiratorizawa," he had said that fateful day. You both were in the last year of middle school. It was a beautiful evening as you both walked back home from the park, the setting sun throwing hues of red and gold across the partially cloudy sky.
"That's not in my hands. I tried in middle school, remember? I want Shiratorizawa but Shiratorizawa doesn't seem to want me," you said, kicking a pebble on the road. Funny how I could say the same about you.
"That was three years ago. You have grown," he said without pause.
"We'll see. I don't want to get my hopes too high. You know just as well as I do that they give preference to athletes over normal students like me. Casual volleyball games with you are just about as sporty as I get," you said as you reached out to open the gate to your home.
You turned to say goodbye to him and found him looking at you, his expression more serious than usual.
"It's not about athleticism."
"Shiratorizawa only accepts the best. Be it volleyball or anything else. I believe you fit into that category. You should come," he says, looking straight into your eyes.
Your stomach flutters. How could he have so much faith in you? There is no doubt that he believes in you because Wakatoshi Ushijima always means what he says. Almost 5 years of knowing him had taught you that. You still found it hard to digest, though.
"I'll try my best, I promise."
"I know you will."
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"Class, please give a warm welcome your new classmate, Hoshiko Nakamura!"
You can't help but gawk at her. Saying she is pretty would be a severe understatement. If she looks pretty on screen, it is nothing compared to what she looks like off screen. You look at your desk partner to see if he is thinking the same. Wakatoshi, however, seems to simply be listening to the teacher.
"Miss Nakamura, I'm sure you will have no problem settling in here. To kind of help you settle in this new environment, I was thinking of seating you next to Ushijima as I believe you two have met before at some of the national events."
The teacher might as well have thrown a bus at you and it would have felt just about the same as you do now.
Hoshiko's face lights up. "That would be great. Wakatoshi-kun has always been a delight to be with. Thank you for having me," she says and bows.
Did she just call him by his first name?
"Ah, Y/N, sorry for springing this on you so suddenly. I wanted to get a hold of you before morning class but couldn't. I hope it's not a problem," the teacher says.
You force a polite smile. "It's not a problem at all," you say and start packing your bag.
Hoshiko walks up to the desk and waits patiently for you to gather your stuff, thanking you again.
Your legs feel heavy as you take the empty seat diagonal to them in the adjacent row.
I'm panicking for no reason. They just know each other from an event. It makes sense to make her sit with a familiar and safe person, given her popularity. Yes, Wakatoshi is definitely the ideal choice in this scenario. He is not someone who would be creepy in any sense. He's also strong and intimidating so it would keep the creeps away. It's fine. It'll be fine. Nothing is going to happen between them... right?
"Wakatoshi-kun, I'm so glad I got to sit next to you," she says, smiling at him, speaking loud enough for people sitting nearby to hear.
"Actually, if I'm being honest, when I decided to come back to my hometown to complete my studies, I knew I wanted to go to Shiratorizawa immediately," she continues.
"Of course. Shiratorizawa is the best school in the prefecture. It's only natural to want to study here," Ushijima says, completely seriously.
Hoshiko blushes. "Ah... that is not what I meant... nevermind," she says, causing the guy behind them to burst into laughter.
It seems like the hollow sensation growing in your stomach is here to stay.
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It has been two months since the day Hoshiko joined your school. With Ushijima going to school earlier than usual and practicing late into the night for the Inter High preliminaries, he hasn't been able to spend much time with you lately. Normally, this wouldn't have bothered you because you could see him in class everyday but with Hoshiko now taking your place, you barely get to say more than hi to him.
However, with the prelims now over and the upcoming week-long break ahead, you're hoping to get some one-on-one time with him once again. All these years with him have made him such an intrinsic part of your daily life that it feels like something big is missing when he's not around. To the world, Wakatoshi Ushijima might be a lot of things. But to you, Wakatoshi Ushijima is home. He is comfort. He is strength. He is someone that you know like the back of your own hand. He is someone that your heart always keeps coming back to. He is the only love you have ever known.
You know that he doesn't share the same feelings for you. But that doesn't stop your heart from longing for him.
The lessons for the day are over and you walk back to your class, eager to pack your bag and go home with Ushijima. You wonder if he'll want to go to the park in the evening.
"She's asking him out! She's asking him out!"
"No WAY! I am SO jealous."
A small crowd has gathered around the window and they're whispering amongst themselves as they look outside.
"Man, that Ushiwaka is so lucky! He gets to date the most beautiful girl in the entire country."
"I mean… he is in the nation's top 3 aces and an under 19 representative of Japan. Not to mention he's tall and strong and good looking. They're actually perfect for each other."
Your heart drops down to your feet.
You look out the window and find yourself looking at Hoshiko and Ushijima standing a ways away from the school building. They're in a quiet, secluded spot and Hoshiko seems to be blushing as she says something to him. You see him nod and say something in return. Hoshiko's face lights up in pure delight and even though they are at a distance, you can hear the joy in her voice.
"No way!!!! He said yes?? I thought he wasn't interested in girls!"
"Goddamn it! There goes my chance!"
You feel dizzy as you watch the two of them walk back to school together.
No. This can't be. You have always known that he doesn't like you that way. But you thought he wasn't interested in dating at all.
No. You shouldn't make any assumptions just yet. These gossip mongers are messing with your head. For all you know, he could have said yes to being in a show or something. You shouldn't despair before you hear the truth from him.
You blink back your tears and run to your class. Thankfully, it's empty. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself and wait. Both of them soon appear in the hallway. The crowd surrounds them instantly, wanting to drown them in questions but Ushijima breaks away from them easily and walks towards the class. He comes up to you.
"Y/N. I'm sorry I won't be able to come to the park today."
It's true.
"Hoshiko and I are going to watch this new movie playing at the theatre-"
He's going on a date with her.
"Apparently it has a lot of volleyball in it-"
He's going on a date with h-
"You should join us."
Huh?
"What?"
"I figured you might like it since you play volleyball with me even though you don't play it otherwise."
What? What? What?? What is happening right now??
Ushijima patiently waits for your answer.
"Uh... Whose idea was it to go to the movie?"
"Nakamura's. Why?"
"And how did she bring up the idea?"
"Well, I was returning from the club and she asked to speak to me in private. And then she told me about the movie and if I wanted to watch it with her."
He didn't get it.
"Ah... Toshi... I'm pretty sure she was asking you out on a date."
His eyes widen with surprise.
"A... date? But she never said she had romantic feelings for me."
Could this mean...? Can I hope...?
"Well, her asking you out on the date was her way of saying it."
"I see. I didn't realise. Thank you for telling me. In that case, I should tell her my feelings for her as well."
He has feelings for her.
Your heart shatters.
You're glad that he walks out right away because you couldn't have stopped your tears from coming out even if you wanted to. You run out of the back door, desperate to get far away.
I guess I was the problem all this time. I just wasn't someone you could look at that way.
You had always known that. You had always known that he didn't feel for you the way you did. But that hadn't stopped you from falling for him. Hard. How could you have not? Eight years of knowing him... You didn't even realise when you fell for him. Loving him just came so naturally to you.
Logically, it makes sense. They make sense. She is beautiful and tall and smart. And so is he. They are the type of couple who would be featured on the cover of a magazine. Which, given their career trajectories, is bound to happen sooner or later.
But the heart doesn't care for logic and at this moment you feel like it will actually burst from the amount of pain you're feeling.
You spend the rest of the evening and the entire night crying in your room.
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Morning comes and you feel worse than ever. Your head is throbbing, your nose is stuffy and your eyes are swollen. You decide to skip school. It's the last day before break anyway. Maybe this break will be good for you. It will give you some time to adjust to everything and compose yourself.
You go back to bed and sleep through the entire day.
You thought you'd feel better after getting some rest but you still feel like shit.
You drag yourself out of bed. Your entire body feels like it weighs ten times more.
Maybe a shower and some fresh air will do you good.
You head out.
No matter how much you try to think of something else, your mind keeps coming back to him. Your eyes keep searching for him. You look in the direction of his room. The curtains are open and you can see it is empty.
Of course he's not home yet. He's probably out with her again.
Even though it's barely a minute away, you feel exhausted by the time you reach the park. Thankfully, it is empty.
You sit on one of the swings and look around. Most of your memories with Ushijima are tied to this park. This is where you both have spent the majority of your last eight years together.
All the sweet memories make you tear up again.
"You didn't come to school today."
You were so lost in your head that you didn't realise when he walked up to you. You blink back your tears.
"Oh... hi. Yeah, I - I wasn't feeling very well today," you say, not meeting his eye.
"You seem upset."
He noticed.
"Oh... I'm fine. Really. It's just been a rough day. It's nothing to worry about," you say, still evading his gaze.
He sits on the swing next to you. You look to the side and see he has a volleyball in his lap.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
You quickly avert your gaze again.
"No."
"I see. Well, would you like me to distract you? Talk about something else?"
It is getting harder to keep your tears in check. You're sure your voice will crack if you speak. You just nod.
"You would've liked the movie. It wasn't as focused on volleyball as Nakamura said it would-"
Great. He's chosen the worst topic he could have talked about. You don't want to hear about his date. You need to change the topic. Quickly.
"What are you doing here?" you blurt out the one question that has been weighing on your mind ever since he came here.
"What do you mean? I came here to play volleyball with you."
"I- I mean... I thought you would spend your free time with Ho-Hoshiko from now."
"Why would I do that?"
"B- because you're d-dating her?" Your voice cracks.
"I am not dating Nakamura."
What?
"What do you mean you're not dating her? I thought you liked her. Didn't you go on a date with her yesterday?"
"I do like her. Just not romantically. And no, I went to watch the movie with Tendou. She had already bought the tickets so I bought them from her. I wanted to watch it with you but you went home. "
"But... you left to tell her your feelings for her..."
"I did. I wanted to clarify that I only feel for her as a friend. It was only thanks to you that I was able to tell her in time before I ended up hurting her unintentionally."
"I...see..."
Relief floods your heart. You suddenly feel a hundred pounds lighter. You finally gather the courage to look at him. He is looking right back at you.
"Can I ask you something?" you say, your lower lip trembling.
"Of course."
"Do you have romantic feelings for anyone?"
You instantly regret speaking up as soon as the question leaves your mouth. You know he never lies. And if he doesn't feel the same w-
"Yes. You."
You stare at him blankly.
It's subtle but his expression has changed from completely serious to something a little softer. You can't quite place what it is. Is it concern? nervousness? Adoration?
"R-really? You like me? Romantically?"
"Yes."
"Since when?"
"Ah," he rubs his chin, "I'm not sure..."
You're still having difficulty believing that any of this is real.
"You know," he continues, "After my father, you were the first person who ever wanted to play with me."
He points towards the corner of the park. "I was practicing against that wall that day when you came up to me. Do you remember?"
"Of course I remember. I can never forget that day."
"So many people have come and gone from my life but you have been with me for so long that, I guess somewhere along the way I just assumed you would stay forever. Which, I now realise, I shouldn't have."
He feels the same. He has always felt the same.
"Toshi?"
He turns to you again.
"I love you."
He breaks into a soft smile.
"I love you too."
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Holyshit this was a ride. I'm glad I wrote this and I hope you guys enjoy.
Reblogs appreciated. Please do not steal or repost.
Taglist: @pinkiipeachiikeen @duckymcdoorknob @kakiwrites @ebiharachan @r0binscript I wasn't sure if you guys still want to be tagged for this series, seeing that it has been over two years so let me know if you want me to remove you from the taglist.
Check out THIS POST to know what all characters I have written for in this series.
MASTERLISTS | If you enjoy my work and want to, you can Buy me a Kofi!
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psychoticallytrans · 10 months
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I believe very strongly that if you want to be an ally to marginalized groups, you should absolutely read and watch material bigoted against them.
This is because one of the big things that radicalization pipelines benefit from is the principle I've seen framed as "milk before meat", where they feed you palatable, easily digestible ideas, often with a kernel of truth, in order to work you up to the core of the bigoted ideology. If you go to the meat first, you will choke on it. This will make you more easily able to spot it when they try to feed you the milk, and more resistant because you know the meat it's building up to.
There are two keys. First, you need to start with the meat, and second, you need to read it with a sharply critical eye.
If you're looking to read something fatphobic, for example, Harry Potter may be a great mainstream example, but it's in a way that is so culturally acceptable that it can slip by if you aren't looking for it. "None For You: How Fat People Are Ruining America and the Planet and What You Can Do About It", on the other hand, is rather obvious in its biases, allowing an amateur to see them clearly for easier interrogation of the premise. Most bigoted material can be acquired by piracy or through your local library. This is one of the big reasons that libraries stock bigoted material.
Then, start noting down all of the things that the material says that seem to make sense, or that you are sure are true. There's no shame in this. Bigoted ideas are ingrained in your upbringing, and on top of this, a lot of bigots will take real problems and build on them in ways that are bigoted.
For instance, anti-immigrant sentiment in the USA is often bolstered by the fact that wages in the USA are effectively decreasing, along with job security. They say that this is because immigrants are taking the jobs, decreasing the amount of value that is available to USAmericans. To a USAmerican who does not know much about immigrants, but does know that their paycheck buys less and less, this sounds like a plausible explanation.
Then, later, look up exactly what they are saying. What are the real issues? (Racism and unchecked capitalism.) Why are they being used to bolster this argument? (Because it takes the heat off of powerful people and puts it on powerless ones, redirecting the hate to people it can more easily hurt, which satisfies the rage of the USAmerican, drives a wedge between them and immigrants, and takes heat off of the powerful.) What are real ways to tackle the real issue? (Solidarity with immigrant workers, especially undocumented ones, unions, and working for better social safety nets.) Why did I fall for that? (You did not have enough information.) Can I notice this rhetoric in the future and avoid falling for it? (Yes.)
Know that many of the ideas you encounter will be normal. Much bigotry is normal. Normal is not automatically good or right.
Know that there will be useful ideas interspersed with some bigotry. A lot of people with useful ideas have been bigots. This does not mean we must discard their ideas, nor that we must accept the bigotry. It does mean that we need to critically examine the ideas to see if they are rooted in and/or affected by the bigotry, and if it is possible to effectively remove them from their bigoted origins, or if the bigotry is so wound into the ideas that they is no longer useful if you wish to avoid harming the group the thinker was bigoted against.
This is difficult work to do. It is intellectually intensive, and emotionally exhausting. You will start seeing bigotry in all kinds of places, including media you thought of as "good" and "progressive", and that will also be emotionally exhausting and dispiriting. It will also mean that you are no longer passively absorbing those bigoted ideas because you settled on the idea that this media is "good" and that as long as you only consume "good" media, you will be free of bigoted ideas- a premise that is disturbingly popular for how incorrect it is. Knowing how to recognize and discard bigotry in works is far, far more useful than flatly refusing to consume more overtly bigoted works.
One way to make it easier is to form reading groups, so that you can lean on each other when reading something that's affecting you badly. It also means that there's more than one person processing the bigotry, so other people might notice more subtle parts of the bigotry that slipped past you in your own reading, allowing you to have a fuller picture of the book. If you can't form a reading group, more famous bigoted works often have criticism available online for you to read through. Remember to do your own research. What makes doing this so valuable is increasing your own ability to detect bigotry and to think critically about material you are consuming.
You do not have to limit yourself to traditional media, either. There are forums and social media bubbles that are hotbeds of bubbling, seething bigotry that is more extreme and repugnant than the vast majority of published work. Reading these conversations can be useful for the exact same reasons that reading overtly bigoted books, articles, letters, and essays can be, and they often contain more up to date dogwhistles. However, this is a riskier move. Social media is built to make you keep scrolling, and you can easily find yourself at your wits end and vulnerable to a bigot whose rhetoric is slightly less obvious than the others. In addition, it can be tempting to interact- at which point the bigots will either attack you or try to recruit you, both of which are damaging to you. Only read the conversations of bigots if you are well supported and have strong impulse control, and read them in small doses.
You are not immune to propaganda, but you can partially inoculate yourself into being less vulnerable by consuming it in controlled circumstances that match your ability to recognize it as such and reject it.
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remcycl333 · 11 months
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STEP 1 - CHANGE WHAT YOU’RE AWARE OF
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notes from “the creative use of imagination” by neville goddard 🤍
step 0 is to decide what you want. maybe you want money, or a new place to live, or an sp, or physical appearance changes.
step 1: begin to observe those thoughts and reactions towards the thing you want to manifest.
“to arrive at a certain definition of self, you must begin by uncritically observing your automatic reaction to an event, for your reaction defines your state” -NG
throughout this post, I will use the example of physical appearance change.
maybe throughout your day, you see pictures of other people on social media that you view as more attractive as you, and your reaction to that is “I wish I looked like them, this isn’t fair why am i not as attractive as them, what do I need to do to look like them” etc.
or maybe you see yourself in the mirror and you think “god why do i look like that, why am i not attractive? why hasn’t my face changed yet?” Etc
if you were in the state of having your desired physical appearance, would you be reacting that way to your 3D?
the first step to changing our state is to first learn the way our old state behaves and reacts to things. it is our current dwelling state that is reflecting in our 3d right now, and when you stop and observe your reactions to things, it becomes glaringly obvious how they’re creating your 3d. if you’re ruminating on how ugly you think you are all day long, you cannot be surprised when you look in the mirror and are dissatisfied with what you see.
“If you react to that which is being objectified, you bind yourself to a certain level of awareness, but if you refuse to react, the thread is broken.” -NG
“Only by observing your reactions to life can you find yourself.” -NG
how are you supposed to know what state you are in if you don’t observe your reactions? And once you begin to observe your reactions, Neville says you will be shocked by how deceitful you truly are. but he always urges the importance of uncritical observation. you should not shame yourself for what you find, or even feel bad. these observations are simply meant to show you your current state, and the ins and outs of it so you are able to change it more easily.
“always examine yourself uncritically, for the moment you become critical, you automatically justify your reactions and associate yourself with the thing observed.” -NG
once you begin to observe your reactions, you will become more aware of them when they happen. they’ll grow to become uncomfortable and glaring. they will feel like they don’t fit you anymore. maybe before they were just knee-jerk, unconscious reactions, but now you will feel them take up the space in your head whenever they arrive. and because of this, you will be able to shift your awareness to what you really want your 3d to reflect. you will be able to let go of the parts of yourself you no longer wish to identify with.
“be transformed by the renewing of your mind by changing the ideas planted there, for you cannot change your thinking until you change the ideas from which your thoughts flow.” -NG
your state creates your thoughts, not the other way around. it is critical to understand this if you wish to change your dwelling state. your thoughts are not your enemies. if you constantly battle against your thoughts, without ever paying mine to your state, you will not have much success.
“accept an idea as true. identify yourself with it and it will out-picture itself in your world. but if you do not accept the thought and identify yourself with it through feeling, you are free from its results. you must become very selective and learn not to associate yourself with unlovely thoughts.” -NG
this is not to confused with the term “mental diet.” when you react negatively to something, you have two options. 1) beat the thought down and panic and tell yourself the opposite without believing it to be true, or 2) choosing not to identify with it. remind yourself that this thought is just a thought. it has no power over you, and if you don’t want it to be manifested into your reality, it will not. Neville says if you do not consent to a thought as true, it will not manifest into your world. if you don’t associate your inner being with that thought, it will not come to pass in your 3D.
“start now to consent only to lovely thoughts of fulfilled desires prior to their confirmation by your senses, and give up the animal instinct of suffering and bathing yourself in the feelings of hurt and self-pity.” -NG
ruminating in unpleasant thoughts where your desire remain unfulfilled can be comfortable, and even habitual, but at the end of the day it is a choice. a choice that you have to stop making if you truly want better for yourself. this is something I struggled with a lot at the beginning of my manifestation journey. there was some twisted pleasure and comfort found in picking at scabs in my mind, and feeling sorry for myself, and imagining what would happen if my desire was never realized in my 3d. but eventually I had to choose better for myself, and I had to choose to stop giving so much attention to mental conversations like that.
“control your imagination with steady attention and dare to stand and be heard.” -NG
YOU create the happenings of your imagination, and your imagination creates your reality. do not feel silly or foolish deciding better for yourself in your own imagination. and do not let the logical restrictions of the 3d to tell you what you can and can not give yourself in imagination. give yourself what you want in imagination and stand firm in that, even if your 3d shows the opposite. stop silencing yourself in your own imagination!
this is my thoughts and notes only on the first two chapters of “the creative use of imagination” so more may come as I continue my re-read! 🤍 just wanted to share this :)
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whole-circus · 11 months
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Hihi I recently started reading your works and stchnvdhnifbmb I'm obsessed now lol
I must ask how the creeps would react to someone who was there for them before they became the way they are now? I'm quite curious (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠;)
Take care and hydrate <333
Creepypastas with reader that had knew them before tragic eventes
➥ with Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, "Ticci" Toby, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned
Ahh you waited so long for this Im so sorry!T^T
Also you guys have no idea how sweet that is! Im glad that someone likes to read my scribble! <3 Lots of love and also remember to hydrate! I choose couple of pastas, but feel free to inform me if you would like someone else!
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.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.
☆ Jeff the Killer
During one of this normal days, or maybe during calm night? You finally saw him..You were looking at eachothers, not sure what to do - sure, he may be a killer now..but this killer was once your friend? Does he even recognize you? But to your suprise, he just started laughing. It wasn't his casual maniac laughter..this one were more friendly, just like the laugh of him you remembered. The laugh of your best friend. He remembered you..and even if he is way diffrent now, then the part of him is still your best friend. You are finally something good in his miserable life, and he almost felt normal once again. Its funny how you make a man like him smile and sigh in relief, just by your presence. And he doesn't care what he did do somehow deserved you again - all he could do is being grateful for that.
☆ Homicidal Liu
You manage to meet Liu on one, ordinary night. Even if he looked, oh so diffrent, then inside you could still recognize his past self. When it comes to Liu, he couldnt believe his luck in that moment. He craves for sense of normalcy like nothing else, its his only true wish..but now you are here again? He start to remember all this nice moments from his childhood..you were in all of them! Even if he didnt recognize you at first, he felt so many strong emotions and could find something familiar..and like that after a quick chat you finally were in eachothers arms once again. There you were..his only hope and only love, you have no idea how long he had waited for you - and when he finally got you, he wont let you go again.
☆ "Ticci" Toby
After everything he had done, Toby really became all this names they used to call him in school - he was a monster, a freak in fact. Could you even look at him in the same, sweet way you used to as a kid? He was scared, constantly scared..so he didnt made a first move. Until that day. When he finally saw you again, he finally felt at peace. The feeling when you were again in his arms felt like coming home from a long journey. He was able to feel the same thing, the same love and care from you. And he already felt much better, just from seeing your smile again.
☆ Eyeless Jack
He was sure you wouldn't recognize him..now he was a monster after all, a inhuman being, a demon straight from poeple nightmares. But he wished, he dreamed that you would look at him in the same way - they way you used to when everything was normal. Meeting you again made him so incredible happy..he almost feel human again! All he could do was just hug you, and sob quietly.. you had so much to talk about, but you have time for that..the only thing that matter is you right now.
☆ Ben Drowned
Ben wasnt the same person you used to cherish and care for..shit, he wasnt even a person, a human anymore. So was he still worth of your friendship? Your sweet words and hugs? Was he even worth looking at you? But he finally decide to meet you once more, he had all eternity and he needs you to make it worth exisitng. So when he showed up at your doors? He had it all planned, the things he will do and say..but just seeing you made him tear up and look in guilt to the ground. His always cool and smug persona, was replaced with the seriousness and culpability. And when you took him into your warm embrace? When you started to shush him ,a dcomfort him? He felt at peace once again, almost like nothing else matters but you both. You already made him the happiest and nothing can compare to you, nothing else in this world.
.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.
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sweetstarcollector · 11 months
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So phrases like "people with uteruses" or "people who have periods" never really bothered me as much as more overtly dehumanizing phrases like "bleeders" or "birthing bodies", but I saw a post today talking about the abnormal symptoms women experienced after getting tear gassed protesting, that ended with something like "we don't know the full effects of tear gas on people with uteruses". And what struck me about that is that's not really correct, because female people without uteruses (either bc they were born without one or bc they had a hysterectomy) will still experience different symptoms after being tear gassed than male people. Women metabolize substances differently than men, our immune systems are different, our hormonal cycles are different, our skin has different thicknesses, etc. All of those things have potential effects on tear gas reactions, and are not dependent on whether or not we have a uterus. They're dependent on whether or not we're female. So saying "people with uteruses" when what is meant is "female people" is not really accurate. And I realized that a lot of times when people use those kinds of phrases, they aren't being accurate.
For example, I'm sure we've all seen people say things about how the repeal of Roe v Wade will harm people with uteruses/people who can get pregnant/etc. And while yes, it definitely harms those people, the full truth is that abortion bans harm *female* people, *regardless of if they can get pregnant or have a uterus.* Because female people who don't have uteruses can still get pregnant, and in those rare cases will 100% of the time need an abortion. Female people who deal with infertility and can't carry a fetus to term can still be jailed for miscarrying. Female people who are completely sterile (for whatever reason) can still be denied medications/medical treatment on the grounds that the treatment could theoretically harm a fetus. Female people who may currently have no uterus/no longer be able to get pregnant but who have had an abortion in the past will face increased stigma.
Here's another example:
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It seems pretty straightforward- menstruation stigma is experienced by people who menstruate. But again, that's only half true. Period stigma is experienced by all female people, regardless of if they menstruate. Think about the fact that we are told female people should not hold political leadership because "what if a female president has PMS and starts a war", despite the fact that almost all female presidential candidates are old enough that they would have experienced menopause. Female people have their feelings dismissed because "it must be that time of the month", regardless of if they're too young to menstruate or too old or if they have a condition causing amenorrhea. Female children grow up seeing periods- a natural function of their bodies- portrayed as disgusting, dirty and gross, as making them unclean, as something to dread and fear. This affects them before they experience menarche, this affects them even if they never experience menarche. It affects all female people.
I could come up with more examples, but you get the idea. Reducing female people to singular body parts and organs inherently denies the reality of femaleness. All parts of us (both biological and social) interact with all other parts of us to form an experience that can't be understood by chopping us up and putting our individual functions under the microscope. In order to get an accurate picture you need to look at the whole (female) human.
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myojinn · 2 months
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Kewpie Mayo - Toge Inumaki
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Kewpie Mayo ... Oneshot fanfic Inumaki Toge (JJK) x reader Tags: fluffy fluff, friends to lovers, JJK au Summary: Toge has so much he wants to say, but his sushi ingredients can only do so much. So you help him expand his vocabulary. a/n: My first ever fic! Got this little idea with Toge and I wanted to flesh it out. Feedback would be appreciated <3
. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ You were incredibly optimistic before entering Jujutsu Tech. You envisioned yourself going out on daring missions, doing crazy things with your fellow sorcerer friends, learning powerful moves, and so on. You romanticized the hell out of it even before you sat in your first lecture. But reality often disappoints. The missions were dangerous, sure, but you were naive to think they would send you out to fight a special grade like it would be a walk in the park for you. And sure, you go out with the other first years, but you never felt like you fit in. Yuji and Nobara had this chaotic dynamic going on and you could never seem to keep up with. Megumi... well... he just makes you feel like you're a bother, so you'd rather not hang out with him one-on-one. But, at the very least, there was this second year student at Jujutsu Tech that you got along with quite well.
You thought it was weird at first—how he couldn't speak like the rest of you. Maki explained it all to you when you decided to hang out with the second years while they trained together. She told you how he was from a well-known clan with a signature cursed technique. And as you watched him spar with the talking panda (which you also thought was weird), one thing plagued your mind. It must be tough not being able to express yourself normally. You don't know if it was just a natural thing or if you actually felt pity for the guy, but you went up to him. A part of you was also hoping that maybe you'd find 'that' friend in him—the one that isn't too overwhelming and the one that doesn't make you feel like a pain in the ass. "Toge?" You called out to him from behind as he drank from his water bottle. It was a hot day and his sparring session with Panda was intense. You could see the sweat trickle down his temples when he turned to look at you. "Kelp?" So it was true that he speaks in sushi ingredients. You didn't think Maki would make such a strange and elaborate lie about it anyway. You introduced yourself to him with the pretense of wanting to get to know your seniors better.
On that same day, you learned all of the sushi ingredients he used in his daily conversations. And the more you spent your time with him, you could even distinguish the nuances in his tone—the rise and fall of his pitch, how he stresses certain letters, and so on. Sometimes, all you had to do was look at his facial expression and you'd know what he was trying to tell you. Of course, a few days after you introduced yourself to him, you managed to snag his number. Anyone who asked for Toge's number never seemed suspicious at all. No one thinks that asking for his number had any romantic context. Everyone just asked for it so they could talk to him without deciphering his ridiculous language. But once you got that number, oh boy. You two never went a day without talking. When he could freely express himself without the restrictions of his cursed technique, your view of him slowly changed. You realized he had a sense of humor. Truthfully, it was as braindead as it could get, but you couldn't deny laughing at 2 AM at his antics. Toge was a bit of a crackhead as well. He'd say the most out of pocket things as if it was the most normal thing in the world. You picked up on this habit too, and part of him feels proud that he was the one who corrupted you like that. Then one night, after sending your 'good nights' to each other, you had this thought. It was a relentless thought that refused to get out of your head. You wanted to hear Toge speak all the words he'd tell you through your phone screen. But you knew it was impossible. You've heard his voice briefly whenever he'd activate his cursed technique... and you've also heard how he'd violently cough out blood after using a particularly powerful move. Then he'd say that it was no big deal—through text, of course. You only put yourself to sleep when you convinced your stupid brain that forcing Toge to speak and hurt himself wasn't worth it. You hated to see him hurt. After that thought, a whole bunch of other things swarmed your brain—and they were all about your white-haired purple-eyed friend. You were falling for him and you were falling hard. In fact, those same thoughts were running through your head right now and— "Tuna mayo." Right, you were sitting beside him right now—cooling off after training. You have no business to be thinking about such things right now, especially since he's just a couple of inches away. You've also gotten into a habit of just texting each other even though you're face-to-face. He started typing on his phone while your gaze was still on him. Your phone dinged a specific tone. Actually, you had set a special tone for Toge's texts. He didn't let you hear the end of it once he figured it out. He made sure to let everyone know that you liked him. He was right. You liked him very much. But you'd never admit that. You kept the tone the same despite his teasing just so he wouldn't get the satisfaction of watching you get flustered. But deep down, you were dying. You whipped your phone out and saw that he had texted. Toge: Spacing out? Did Panda knock your head a little too hard? You're drooling a bit actually. You: No. I was just thinking. ALSO, my mouth is very dry thank you very much.
Toge: Oh fr? Lemme see how dry it is. Imma check with my mouth too ofc 🫦🥵 You felt all the butterflies on earth suddenly flutter in your stomach. This wasn't new. As your friendship went on—it wasn't unusual for him to pull something silly like this. He thinks it's all fun and games, but his words had you thinking otherwise. But again, you'll never admit you like him. You: Sometimes I'm glad you can only speak sushi ingredients. You stare at the chat bubbles appearing and disappearing on the screen. Then it disappears for quite a while which prompts you to look up at him. There was a slight frown. You'd let off pretty hurtful jabs at each other before, but maybe this one just hit a chord. "Hey... you know I didn't mean that, right?" Your expression softened as you studied his features. "I mean, honestly, I always wished you could speak normally... I love talking to you." You immediately shut yourself up. It's okay. It's okay. You just said that in a friendly way, you thought. It doesn't necessarily mean you LOVED him. You could never say that to him. "Salmon roe?" His face perked up at your admission. You nodded at him. "At some point I even thought about telling you to just make a language with me, you know? I mean, you'd still be speaking in ingredients, but at least you get more out of it." He listens intently before tapping away at his phone again. Toge: That's actually a wonderful idea coming from a dumbo like you. You chuckled and playfully punched his shoulder at the nickname he used for you. He laughed softly back at you and you couldn't help but smile at this little moment you had going on. God, you loved him, but you couldn't tell him that. "Hmm, so what's our word for today? There are still so many sushi ingredients out there that are still unused." Toge nodded enthusiastically. He sent messages as you spoke to him in real time. Toge: Sooo... what's your favorite sushi ingredient? "Rice," you replied without a second thought which earned a sigh from Toge. He sounded disappointed almost.
Toge: That's so basic.
Toge: Putting rice as 'basic bitch' in Toge's dicktionary. You furrowed your brows at him. "And when would this word be useful to you? I don't see you using it frequently." And by true Toge fashion, he flashes that shit-eating grin at you. "Rice." It felt weird hearing him say a different ingredient. Despite what the word meant to the both of you—you just smiled at him. "Okay, then what isn't a basic choice?" Toge: Just think outside of the box for once. You looked off into the distance, thinking hard. Then you got an idea. "Remember the sushi I made you last week? The ones with Kewpie mayo swirls on it?" Toge's face seemed to soften for a moment once you brought that up. He was down in the dumps last week after a losing streak on Fortnite. You thought it was stupid to get all gloomy over a game with flying buses and shit. But you tried your best to cheer him up. So you made him the only thing you knew how to make—sushi, as ironic as it is. You made this batch of sushi with extra love and care. Of course, your signature mayo swirls were on it too. You delivered it to his room and watched him chow down like a caveman. It warmed your heart seeing him enjoy something you made. You craved this feeling. But you'd never voice it out. "How about we add Kewpie to your vocabulary then? Or is it too basic for your taste, sir?" Toge chuckles softly again and then he goes silent. He looks down at his lap with the smallest smile on his face. "Hey, what's wrong with yo—" "Kewpie." You were taken aback. He was acting strange all of a sudden. "So, what does 'Kewpie' mean then?" Toge looked down at his phone and you stared at yours as well. The chat bubbles appeared, disappeared, appeared, disappeared for a long time... and so on. You were getting nervous.
Then, finally, the message arrived. Toge: I love you. Your eyes widened. You had to read it three—no, ten times to actually believe that those were the 8 letters showing up on your screen. And while you were stuck in your little bubble of shock, he sent another message. Toge: I know, I know, pretty cool way to rizz you up huh? He was so fricking silly, even now. How funny is it that the man who literally couldn't utter normal words would be the first to say this. You were perfectly fine saying anything that you wanted, yet you refused to. You refused to tell him you loved him... but maybe now wouldn't be so bad. "I Kewpie you too," you say before bursting out into a wide grin. Toge couldn't help but laugh a bit. He found your happiness way too endearing. So endearing, in fact, that his lips made its way to yours. He gave you a short and sweet peck. You were in absolute awe, but that didn't stop you from leaning in and giving him a quick kiss of your own. Your antics made the both of you laugh. Your racing thoughts about him were finally quelled. In the end, all you needed was to just tell him—tell him that you loved him so much it hurt. You would've, But Toge is Toge... Toge: By the way, 'I Kewpie you too' is grammatically wrong, loser. But it's okay. You're my loser <3 . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ end
Likes and reposts are appreciated :))
myojin-boo 2024
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