#spy's life was probably equally as hell because. well. he a spy.

[cocoalatez]

i need more content that addresses the fact that medic and spy probably participated in ww2

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #chocos art tag #tf2 spy #spy tf2 #assuming medic is exactly 50 when he makes the deal with the devil he'd be 17 when the war starts #i like to think that he's not a funky mad scientist from a line of funky mad scientists since demo already does that #and he just kinda lost his morals while experiencing the war because thats a lot more interesting to me #spy's life was probably equally as hell because. well. he a spy. #id add soldier here but. like. his experience of the war was a lil silly compared to the others tbh #blood #i dont know if i need the blood tag but just in case yknow

[tiredassmage]

let's get that tyr and lokin!!!

[Send me an OC + an NPC and I'll ramble about their dynamic]

First of all, I have an absolutely woeful lack of pictures of their interactions. Someone hold me back from doing another playthrough, and make sure they pay you well because it's going to be one hell of a job, lmao.

Tyr and Lokin are amusing because they speedrun their transition from antagonistic to mentor and mentee. Tyr was so absolutely close to shooting the man on Taris and being done with it, but, once they're on board together, Lokin's advice does become invaluable, even if it isn't always readily accepted.

Lokin is a piece of work on Taris and they spend equal time double crossing one another or only admitting part of the truth. He sets off a lot of red flags for Tyr and it's only incredibly begrudgingly that he lets the man aboard his ship on the grounds that he can't really afford to deny a potential ally, especially one who so quickly became complicit in his current operations.

Lokin benefits from being "on the ground" with him to watch his development in real-time where the Minister must rely on his after-action reports. He's got Nine's diligence and dedication made easily and picks up readily on the same thread the Minister's been worried about since his induction into the agency: underneath that facade of realism is an idealist. An uncompromising, quick on his feet idealist who knows the rules of this loyalty game that they play as servants to the Empire and has gotten a taste for testing what authority his successes grant him.

Within a few conversations, Tyr has settled with his particular brand of humor, shall we say, and Lokin is already picking apart what's making his latest partner tick. Of the two of them, Lokin's probably arguably the better spy on this parameter. He doesn't share the attachment issue that laces through Tyr's chest. Only spies would call their veiled discussions about the realities of operating as a Cipher "truth" and "brutal honesty," but it's that quick understanding of Nine's position that lulls Tyr into lending him an ear as a mentor.

It's not exactly trust. Tyr would not give him something as simple as his genuine favorite color. Lokin and Nine regularly discuss different methods for taking down targets, infiltrating locations, extracting information... They casually flirt with this danger over caf and the holofeed in the lounge without so much as moving their eyes from their cups or their screens, casually slipping the occasional threat that maybe they should try it on the other, maybe Tyr will still flush him out the airlock at the first given opportunity. Kaliyo thinks it's all an overrated game that involves far too much cloak and too little dagger. But Tyr does listen. Lokin doesn't have to pry far to find Nine's situational awareness is rather keen. It's the kind that'll make him enemies.

They will never admit the odd fondness that develops between them. Lokin feeds him this advice and engages in this odd dance of half-threats with him because he's seen enough people lost in this game of theirs and it's hard not to feel for such a bright young operative getting more and more entangled in the web, no matter how careful his steps. In this way, Lokin shows his fondness. In acknowledging and responding to his dialogues, Tyr returns it. He also still occasionally does the equivalent of bapping your pet on the nose with an empty paper towel roll when Lokin digs into the crew's business because Tyr believes his people deserve some level of privacy and he trusts them, Lokin. Get your nose out of where it doesn't belong, old man.

It's unlikely Tyr ever directly voiced his fondness for Alderaan, but I do like to jest that at least part of the reason Lokin winds up on Alderaan, of all places, is because Nine's fondness of it. In a lighter life, Tyr would have liked to spend more time there - part of a "retirement wish" that was little more than idle fantasy. It's a way to honor Nine, supposedly killed in the line of duty aboard Marr's destroyer, in the way he still remembers Twelve, despite their pitfalls.

In fact, one of the first things Tyr says upon seeing him again is a sharp, quick barb that fires off like lightning about stealing his retirement plans and celebrating his "death" a bit too earnestly. Dry smiles are exchanged over yet another flirt with their mortality. Leave it to Nine to outlive something as dramatic as a fleet's destruction. Tyr means it when he says he'll help an old friend, no questions. He still gives Lokin shit for sending him that close to a Sarlacc. Something about still trying to get each other killed.

In short, Lokin is protective in a way that makes them both look abrasive to outsiders, more likely than not. Tyr can't say he'd go to the man looking for emotional relief or understanding, but they do trust each other insofar as doing their duty. Tyr would describe him as "an acquired taste." And he's still one of the only medical officers Tyr will trust to do thorough examinations.

And if there's anyone still in his circle that might know about his relation to the former Keeper and Minister of Intelligence, it's very likely Lokin. He almost certainly has this puzzled out by the time they're settled on the ship. And he will be keeping that secret, in honor of their mutual old friend.

Tyr has a friendship with him that is very much... Tyr would still tear down buildings for him, but on the grounds that Tyr's the one with the rights to punch him in the face for being a piece of shit. And Tyr may not completely trust him, but I think Lokin will follow him wherever his ideals carry them until the galaxy finally puts one of them to rest - either in a proper retirement or the final embrace.

They'll still never admit that straight to the other's face though.

#answered #swtor #ch: tyr #eckard lokin #doctor eckard lokin #npc dynamics talks #doctor lokin #dot talk

[my-otp-list]

Here I am, back to my eternal habit of getting obsessed over obscure stuff whose fandom is either tiny or virtually non-existent... 

This manga is probably what I would dub as ‘The spy camaraderie you never knew you needed’ (or that it even existed…)

But this was, in fact, a classic work and was really popular in Japan during its time. Just that for some reasons, the manga never made it to international attention - which is a real pity, because, seriously, this is good. Like really really really good.

And the bromance? 24k gold grade, I rest my case. 

From Eroica With Love (Manga) Review

Genre: Shoujo, Adventure, Action, Historical, Comedy

Author: Aoike Yasuko

Running Years: 1976 - 2012

Synopsis (taken from BakaUpdates):

"What happens when a gay art thief and a conservative NATO officer cross paths? Disaster, of course. Dorian is an aristocrat, a thief, and a hedonist; Klaus is a duty-driven espionage agent with no patience for fools.

Follow them as they chase each other across the globe -- from Britain to Baghdad, from Alaska to Alexandria, from Moscow to Madrid. Spectacular locations and non-stop adventures await!"

Length: Completed with 39 volumes

Translation: Ongoing at about 25 volumes - as of 2022

Note: Some sources may list this manga’s genre as Shounen-ai. Well, yes, “ai” (or romantic interaction) between 2 male characters does get depicted in this manga, but it isn’t between the two male leads. And the amount of “ai” you’ll get to see in the whole series is like… 1%. But before you conclude that this will make you want to / not want to read this manga, hear me out first —

Personal review:

➕ The Characters: Meet Earl Dorian Red Gloria, codenamed “Eroica”, a gorgeous, flamboyant, charismatic British thief with blonde hair so perfectly curled it could rival Candy Candy (this is a classic shoujo, what else do you expect?), whose purpose in life is to steal whatever suits his fancy, and causes a lot of havoc while he’s at it.

Meet also Major Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach, nicknamed “Iron Klaus”, an equally gorgeous, uptight, formidable German officer with black hair so perfectly straight it probably comes from a L’Oreal ad (have I mentioned this is a classic shoujo?), whose goal is to hunt down Earl Dorian, but somehow never actually catches him(?) 

(The 1970s — that period of manga art when guys are 10 times prettier than girls...)

They are both very likeable characters, each with quirks so special that’ll make you remember them in no time. Behind his facade as an art thief, Earl Dorian is an adorable, sympathetic man who values his teammates and has actual sensitivity for beautiful things. Major Klaus might first come off as an arrogant, vulgar man (but his vulgarity is really funny omg), but would you believe that he sings “Mary Has A Little Lamb” to himself in order to sleep? Awwwwww.

Surrounding these two men is a very diverse, colourful cast of supporting characters. With this being a comedy manga, almost every character in From Eroica With Love is funny as hell - so protect your stomach well, because the probability of you hurting it while reading this is transcendently high...

➕ The Story: Set during the Cold War period and against the backdrop of a vibrant Europe, the story tells the extravagant adventures of Earl Dorian and Major Klaus as they tail after top-secret intel, tear down evil conspiracies, take out wicked villains, tumble into life-threatening situations, all while trying to outwit and annoy the f*** out of each other. 

With the title clearly inspired by the James Bond novel “From Russia With Love”, this manga, for the most part, is an endearing parody of the spy fiction genre. Do not be fooled by its shoujo label and its relatively strange first volume. The manga started off rather ridiculous (a trio of college-age ultra-geniuses with ESP abilities given to them by a mysterious man in the forest? What again…), but very soon developed into action-packed espionage with, surprisingly enough, a great deal of real-life historical, cultural and political references. Twists and turns await as we tag along with Earl Durian and Major Klaus chasing after each other (for various hilarious reasons) and dealing with international-scale events across the globe.

➕ The Art: Bearing what I would call 'signature 1970s shoujo art', From Eroica With Love’s feminine, old-style art may take some time to get used to, but will certainly grow on you. Yasuko-sensei certainly deserves praise for her masterful control over both character designs, scenery as well as action sequences.

➕ The Bromance: And, of course, the most important part of this review, the bromance.

Though it’s established very early on that Dorian is gay and always ready to woo whichever man that piques his attention, and that the manga is debatably considered shounen-ai, there's no canon romance between the two male leads (or is there?). 

Starting out as enemies, and arguably still ending as enemies, these two’s dynamics are a real delight to watch. While they couldn’t stop blocking each other’s business and even occasionally get into physical fights, they also pull each other out of trouble plenty of times. There’s just some sort of undeniable camaraderie that hovers above their constant bickering and throwing curses at each other. 

(Why be normal bros when you can point guns and knives at each other?)

But beyond the bromance front, some may sense that Dorian develops feelings for Klaus along the course of the story, and one can’t help but notice that Klaus’ behaviour towards Dorian is, at times, significantly more tender compared to how he treats others. And then there are those yearning intense stares…

(Dorian & Klaus: A tale of unresolved sexual tension that spans almost 40 years…)

The manga never dwells into fan service or has them go lovey-dovey, and even after its supremely long run of almost 4 decades, we never get an answer to the burning question "Will they or won't they fall in love?".

But that certainly doesn't stop the fans from zealously shipping them two together. Because, enemies-to-comrades-to-lovers? We simply devour that trope.

➖ The Negative: To some, the art may look slightly funny in later volumes, but I wouldn’t fault the author much for that. After all, by that time, Yasuko-sensei is already in her 50s-60s.

➖ And what was that first volume really - to deter people from loving this manga too much? (￣▽￣) An entertaining bunch of characters with pretty detailed characterisation (to the point that I almost thought they were the mains!) got introduced, only for them to never appear again after volume 1. Albeit, this may not exactly be a negative thing, since I can tell that most of us would prefer the screentime to be spared for our two lovely male leads. 

All in all, I highly recommend this amusing series. So sad that the translation is only about ⅔ completed at the moment (╥_╥), and the English volumes are essentially out of print (I've checked, it costs minimum 400 bucks to obtain 15 volumes, yep, no joke). Talk about falling in love with a niche manga…

#from eroica with love #eroica yori ai o komete #bromance manga #bromance recommendation #dorian red gloria #klaus heinz von dem eberbach #70s manga

[the-quan-is-blogging]

ABO MadaTobi AU where Tobirama is married off for alliance sake and is rescued by Madara

- In which Senju is a patriarchy clan while Uchiha just simply doesn’t care. Tobirama is seen as a huge disappointment and is looked down on by Butsuma because he was born not just an omega, but an albino one.

- Everybody in the clan technically looks down on him. Omegas in the Senju clan are kept away as housewives to help out with chores and maintain heirline, they don’t have a voice in anything and are obliged to obey the alphas.

- Tobirama has been training secretly with Hashirama as his teacher since 9 because the omega doesn’t want to be useless to the clan. While Tobirama shows little discontentment and completely behaves their father, Hashirama is a rebel who hates patriarchy, believes in equality and wants to change the clan’s mindset. He hates how his father and other clansmen mistreat his brother and learned how different it is for omegas in the Uchiha clan through his secret best friend Madara.

- Tobirama always tries to read books during his limited free time between the kitchen duties to learn ninjutsu, medical knowledge, literature, economics and politics and everything. During the nights he’d be up late writing war tactics and battle plans against the Uchiha, or plans for supplies and Hashirama would take them to his father in the morning. Tobirama told Hashirama to claim the credit for himself because if Butsuma finds out the omega has been involving in alpha’s duties the man would go mad shit. Hashirama, though didn’t want to agree with him, had to because he doesn’t want his father to beat Tobirama then lock his brother in a dark room for days.

- Tobirama’s plans were marvelous and Butsuma is really proud of Hashirama on that. Over years Tobirama’s plans help Hashirama tighten trust with the clansmen (though he already gained their trust through his own ability by his inhuman strength and leadership skills). Meanwhile Tobirama becomes skillful at swordsmanship, but he’s still being kept hidden with chore duties and late nights secretly reading and writing scrolls of plans.

- Being the only omega child of the Senju clan’s head, when Tobirama is sixteen his father decides to marry him off to form an alliance with a clan when the actual intention is to have Tobirama spying on them. His fiancé is an alpha leader who is in his forties and is well-known for his violence and blood thirst.

- Hashirama, at age 17, screams, fights and kicks to oppose this marriage with everything he has. In the end Butsuma locks him up and ties him with special chakra rope so he will not be able to get out.

- That night before Tobirama leaves, he sneaks into his brother’s cell to visit him the last time. Hashirama has been sobbing all day for not being able to stop this brutal marriage his brother is being forced into and at the thoughts of all the things that violence alpha is gonna do with his brother.

- Tobirama gently wipes his cheek, telling him he’s going to be okay and that he has finally got a chance to serve his clan. He stays until dawn and has to leave before people find out while Hashirama cries out for his brother.

- Tobirama’s life with the alpha is truly hell. Asides from all the brutal abuses he get from his husband, the alpha also tattoos three lines onto his face. In years he secretly sends Butsuma his spied information. He knows his brother would never forget about him, and that his father or husband probably had stopped all his letters from being sent to the omega.

- And then one day the Uchihas attack their territory, leading by Madara. Because Madara is so powerful they quickly sweeps over the territory and wins. The leader sacrifies Tobirama as an offer hoping Madara would let him go. Madara is so disgusted by that he kills the man right away. Tobirama only stares at his husband’s painful death with a cold, empty of emotion gaze while feeling slightly satisfy innerly. My illustration of when Madara first meets Tobirama

- Madara takes him back to the Uchiha territory and reveals the truth that Hashirama asks him to rescue him, because the Senju cannot break the alliance with his husband by attacking them. Tobirama has to temporarily live with the Uchihas until he can be sent back without Butsuma killing him for being a traitor.

- Tobirama has always been against the Uchihas like how he’s been educated as a Senju clan’s member. He personally didn’t like Madara at first because the alpha looks scary and grumpy and barely talks, and is rumored to be violent and blood-thirst. His brother, Izuna is a tease and would often be around Tobirama to say sarcastic things about the Senju clan, so he hates Izuna too.

- Izuna, Tajima and the Uchiha clan hates Tobirama at first because he is a Senju (they don’t know about Madara’s deal or friendship with Hashirama either). However, after the maids first bath Tobirama and saw all the brutal torture marks and scars his husband left on his body words spread and they slowly replace their hate with sympathy for the omega, because they are one of the rare clans who see omegas as their equal and often have deep sympathy for all the omegas out there being mistreated. Izuna starts giving him sweet treats and tries to talk to him, while clanspeople come to Madara’s house with medicine, fruits and clothes to give to him.

- He starts to realize the Uchiha clansmembers are actually quite nice and emotional when they’re not at war but still he can’t put his guards down.

- Knowing Tobirama’s swordsmanship ability, Izuna asks him to spare and likes it so much they start to do it very often. Tobirama is secretly happy because for the first time in his life he can publicly fight with his sword in front of others. Madara walks by their spare one time and is impressed with Tobirama’s talent.

- They have talks after that and Madara is very impressed with how intelligent Tobirama is despite knowing that the Senjus don’t let their omegas study. They’re still keeping distance but the tension has eased out much and Tobirama finds talking with Madara actually quite fun.

(TBC)

#madatobi #madara uchiha #uchiha madara #tobirama senju #senju tobirama #madatobi headcanons #senju hashirama #hashirama senju

[starbornsinger]

Elriel/Gwynriel/Elucien Theory Time :)

Ok so in regards to the Az POV chapter, I have some thoughts. This is super long and detailed and also tearing down ships, so uh, beware.

⚠️ACOSF spoilers (duh)⚠️

So I was re-reading the thing and as I was reading the conversation between Az and Rhys, it kind of hit me. I used to be an Elriel shipper until ACOSF, and I was really all for it.

But I don't think they're in love.

See, earlier in the chapter, Az is thinking about how jealous he is of the other couples. We know he isn't very lucky in love, and seeing Elain and her mate and their mating bond upsets him. I think he fancies Elain because she's beautiful and sweet, but I don't think he's in love with her. I think she's another thing he can't have, and he feels frustrated and it only makes him want her more. Because he thinks, why shouldn't he have her? Why is the Mother so cruel as to deny him love? And he thinks, "well all my other brothers have Archeron mates, why don't I? It must be a mistake!"

I think what Azriel's biggest issue is though, is that he wants love so bad, he's willing to risk it all for the first girl he feels attraction too. It also feels relevant that the primary thing we see in his POV is his physical attraction to her, his sexual attraction. We don't see much of how he thinks she's so sweet or so clever or so gentle, but instead how nice her tits are and how badly he wants to kiss and fuck her. I think he doesn't particularly want Elain, and while he likes her, I think what he really wants is love. True love, just like his brothers and friends. He thinks the Mother must be wrong because they both got Archeron sisters while he didn't, and his attraction to Elain makes him wish they were Mates so he could finally have that true love that's entirely his own.

But she's not. And he can't. I think what Azriel wants most isn't Elain. He wants her sexually, and he admires her and has a crush on her, but the thing he focuses on and gives him the most emotion is that she has a Mate and he doesn't, and that everyone does but him. I think he wants someone like Elain and wants to feel happy, but I think he doesn't exactly want Elain. When he thinks of her, he doesn't seem to be truly in love as we've seen other SJM couples are. And sure, it's early, but it's also been like— 2 years. I don't think they're in love sadly, I think Azriel just wants to move on from Mor and finally find love. He has a type, and when he found someone who loosely fit into the mold of his ideal partner, he jumped at it because he's desperate to have someone love him. All his life, he's struggled with self-love and love from others, and I think that it's deeply affected his relationship with love itself.

Physical attraction and desire and interest isn't love. And the idea of her being mated already only makes him mad— that of course the first girl he likes for the first time in 500 years, of course the girl that could help him move on from Mor, is mated. I think that only makes him feel more passionate towards her; and Rhys notes how he seems to think he has a claim to her, when he doesn't. It makes Az angry, not because Rhysand thinks he's being possessive and reckless, but because it's true. He genuinely can't have her.

As for Elain, I think she's far too hesitant to be with him. She reminds me of Daisy in The Great Gatsby, and how she claims to love Jay but she won't leave Tom, or jilt him. Now this is a different situation, because Daisy was selfish and didn't want to give up her comforts and stability and fame. Elain, on the other hand, doesn't seem ready to have a serious relationship with Az. I think she is still severely affected by Graysen's rejection, and is still clearly not over him. I don't think she's ready to accept Az fully and be with him, and I also don't think she's ready to reject her mating bond with Lucien.

I don't know 100% what's going on with Elain, but what I do know is that clearly she is intrigued by Lucien in some capacity. Ok Elriel shippers, don't come for me, but there are several scenes in which Elain seems to want to talk to Lucien, or whatever the heck. But also seems disinterested, like when she dismisses his Solstice gifts and doesn't speak to him.

However, I don't think she's resentful towards him exactly, or at least that isn't the main reason she's like this. While we know he was helping Tamlin lowkey, Feyre and the IC all understood he was on their side, and was their friend. So it seems kind of odd to still bear a grudge against him, but who knows.

But funnily enough, she has yet to reject their mating bond. If she's so disinterested, or hates him so much, why hasn't she turned him down? Mother, she's barely spoken to him at all. I think the obvious reason behind her disdain or distancing from Lucien is her connection to Graysen and her human life. Of all the sisters, Elain has not yet adapted to or accepted that she is Fae— or if she has, she's sure as hell not happy about it. Even Nesta in ACOSF mentioned how she actually likes her ears now, and we know Feyre has totally accepted being Fae. But with Elain, she had the most human connected life of them all, and to have it taken away from her is shitty.

For Elain, her happiness seems to come from a love of gardening, of family, of people. She has very little human things to hold onto, and adding a Mating bond to the mix right as she's made Fae is like she's had all her humanity stripped. She doesn't hate Lucien, she hates the bond. She dislikes that it's chained her to someone and taken away her choices, which we know is a big deal for the sisters after being imprisoned, kidnapped, and Made. I think Elriel is an infatuation, because even though she doesn't love Az, he's helping her rebound from Graysen (and giving her control and power over her love life). He's a choice she (can't really) make, but a choice nonetheless. With Lucien, she feels she has no choice with him, and no control over her obvious attraction I say obvious because mates have a primal attraction of some level to each other , and is probably afraid that accepting the Mating bond will remove any last connections she has to who she used to be, and the human she feels she really is.

But she also hasn't rejected it, because I think she realizes that Lucien is a genuine and kind and hot guy, and that rejecting him would be a stupid idea. He's been very patient and very kind and accepting, and has always given her the freedom of choice when it comes to the bond. I think Lucien is the kind of guy that would be very easy to fall in love with, and I think Elain sees that and knows it.

Also, I think with ACOSF, it feels relevant that Cassian pointed out specifically how Elain looked beautiful in black at the ball, but it looked horribly wrong on her. With SJM the devil is always in the details, and I think it was a clearly accentuated bit of symbolism. Although Elain looks beautiful, the black dress wasn't for her. And although Elriel is very sweet, it won't work out. She won't thrive in the Night Court, or with Azriel. Az doesn't challenge her or meet her as an equal (like all other SJM ships), and they don't push each other to be better or to accept themselves or whatever etc etc.

And I really used to like Elriel, but I think that surprisingly, Elain will be the one who says "stop, I can't do this" to Az. I think she knows she isn't ready, and I think she knows they aren't meant to be. Even if a Mating bond was put in place between her and Lucien, I still think their relationship wouldn't work because they're both too insecure, too closed off, too non-communicative, and too stagnant together to be a healthy or good match. I think with Elain they would struggle to understand each other even if they were fond of each other and can relate on some level, but at its rawest form I think they won't truly be able to be themselves with each other.

With Elain, Azriel's shadows— a key part of him— disappear. While I initially thought, awww that's so cute, she's a light in his life, I soon realized I was wrong. Az's shadows are not just a part of him, they're an extension of him, of his will and subconscious and emotions. So Elain chasing them away, while chasing away the shadows and darkness seems cute, isn't a good thing. Most of the time with shadows, we think "ew bad!" Because they have an inherent connotation of negativity or sorrow or depression or darkness etc etc. And while this is partially true, Azriel's shadows and darkness are a part of him. His sadness and struggles are a part of him. And his shadows aren't just representative of that, they're also a representation of how he overcame his abuse and turned that fire (pun unintended) and anger and trauma into something beautiful and powerful and a weapon. I think they can serve as an armor and a shield, and while that's not good, I also don't think they should fully disappear.

More on that: with Azriel's shadows, we know they're a part of him, right? So I think an important part of self is self-regulation. Rather than be consumed entirely by shadow, or totally exposed to the light, I think he just needs his shadows to be calm and present, but not controlling or hiding. I think the whole "Elain bringing him out of the shadows" bit sounds cute at first, but then you have to think of it like this. In order to be with Elain, he would have to change. He couldn't be a spy or a shadowsinger or a torturer, and he couldn't be dark and introverted. With her, he has to push that aside. Those are key parts of him, key parts that would have a big impact on their relationship. Elain can't be with someone with so much blood on their hands or a history of violence or darkness. We know that, because we know that sort of thing upsets her and she doesn't like it.

Azriel can't just be himself with her, he has to become someone else. And while he's attracted enough to not care, after awhile, that grows exhausting. Being in love and not being your true self, all of it, is exhausting. And while some might argue "why can't he be his true self?!" well my slime, I think we both know that even if we wanted him to, Elain would be silently resigned about it. I don't think— no, I know— Elain can't be with someone like Azriel. Even if they have feelings, even if they have lust or affection, it isn't love. They aren't in love, and they won't work out no matter how much we want it to.

Onto Elain: with Elain, this all ties back to what Cassian said in Hewn City. She looks beautiful in black, but it's wholly wrong for her. The Night Court is wrong for her, and darkness is wrong for her. While some yin-yang relationship tropes can work very well, I don't think this will. She doesn't like the darkness or accept it, and she doesn't want to be a part of it. I think the Night Court is good and happy for her when she makes her own little garden world, and only then, really. It's like living in the middle of the desert and only thinking of the beach: it's not the right place for her.

I think the Spring Court needs her, and I think she needs it. Here's more on that.

So we've seen the set up and execution of the fall of the Spring Court. We know that it's in shambles and is weak and needs a new/better leader than Tampon. I feel like SJM is setting things up for a new book focused in the Spring Court, because in a lot of ways, it's becoming the centerpiece for action in Prythian (aside from the Night Court). I genuinely believe that as Tamlin's second, Lucien will take over the Spring Court as High Lord. He doesn't fit in with Autumn, didn't fit in with Night, and wasn't really a part of Spring. But with Spring, it was where he was happy, where he felt safe, and the home he chose. Chosen homes and chosen families are a big deal for SJM, and I think that Lucien will return to the Spring Court to try and help it, because Mother knows it needs it. I think Elain belongs there, not only because she needs to be in an environment suited to her, but because she needs to heal.

We've seen a theme of helping others heal in order to heal ourselves, and I think a good book idea (and what I think an Elain book would be about), is healing the Spring Court and helping it. Elain is a gardener. She wants to see things grow and blossom, wants to get her hands dirty and dig in! But she can't do that in the NC. I think she needs something new and fresh and blossoming that she can help and tend to, and I think the person that can be at her side for that is Lucien. I think with Azriel, she can't see growth and life and flowers. He's a different kind of person, far too different, and the two wouldn't mesh well. Elain isn't like Persephone and Azriel isn't like Hades; although she's flowers and he's death and they're attracted to each other, they don't fully accept those roles and cross into each other's. Elain could never be a killer or someone who wears black or thrives in a darker place, and Azriel couldn't be someone who is in the full heat of the light and wear bright colors and be cheerful and flowery. In a dream world, yes, but I think in this one, no. SJM loves to create realistic relationships and realistic relationship conflict, and I think we'll see this here. Even though they want it to work, and in theory it should, it won't. I think they know it too. Azriel's shadows vanish when she's around, and Elain struggles to feel comfortable in the darkness and Night Court, and fit in with the others in the black dress that is wholly un-Elain.

I also think that this relationship doesn't bring development to the table. The forbidden love concept is adorable and a trope I love, but this love isn't one that will push them to grow. Azriel can feel loved and happy, but can he feel fully accepted? Can he stop being ashamed of his shadows, of his violence? Of who he is? Can Elain break out of her shelf and be more assertive, and truly grow and change? Can she be herself and be happy? The answer is a sad no. Their relationship is sweet and cute, but it won't truly work. I genuinely believe Lucien is a better match for Elain, and while the Cauldron isn't always right (like Rhysand's parents), it usually is. If he isn't, then I'm all for independent Elain.

Now onto the moment you've all been waiting for: who should Az be with?

Gwyn. :)

#acosf spoilers #gwynriel #a court of silver flames #elriel #elucien #gwyn berdara #gwyn x azriel #azriel #acotar #acotar theory #acotar thoughts #acosf

[ivyaugustetc]

the dead poets at hogwarts: a headcanon from hell

@aedan-mills @charlie-dalton-simp @pretentious-strikes YOU ENCOURAGED THIS BEHAVIOR SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. also i love you a lot but THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

also @aedan-mills i found out that some of the wand stuff is related to their birthdays and i am much too lazy to look all that up and figure it all out, but anyone else is welcome to lmao. sorry to disappoint but alas it's summer and i don't want to research that much. but other than that, please listen to me flex my extensive knowledge on harry potter :)

neil (half blood): i'm sorry,,,, can you say gryffindor? this boy would get up there and in a second the sorting hat would have him all figured out: big dreams with the will to pursue them, but not ambitious enough to step over others to achieve said dreams? sounds like a gryffindor to me. i just know he'd thrive at hogwarts, probably going on to play quidditch (def a chaser) and would excel in charms class. as far as pets go, i feel like he'd stay simple and classy with a chill barn owl he'd name after a famous broadway actor. he would kind of be a mix of james and remus, in which he's wild and crazy but still manages to get good grades. the teachers love him simply because they don't know much about him outside of class. he would absolutely LOVE going to hogsmeade and going batshit crazy at zonko's and honeydukes. he'd have a whole phase where he gets addicted to licorice wands and everyone else thinks they're disgusting but he simply cannot buy enough of them. he'd play a bunch of zonko tricks on the rest of the poets, saving the most harsh for charlie and the most wholesome for todd <3

todd (muggle born): ugh see i can see him being both a hufflepuff and a ravenclaw, but my heart says hufflepuff so i'm gonna go with that. he would absolutely HATE the sorting ceremony with a burning passion. getting up in front of everybody only to have a hat judge u??? no thanks. HAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM ON A BROOM. i can't either because he would simply never get on one, probably referring to them as "flying death traps" more often than not. "hey todd, you think about joining quidditch?" "no thanks, i'd rather keep my limbs intact ;)". but he would love muggle studies a lot, even if the teacher was boring as hell. snape would scare the hell out of him for sure, resulting in his lowest class being potions. he would excel in classes that are more learning out of the book rather than in practice. for a pet, he'd want something that could not possibly turn on him and would just be sweet and loving, so ima give him a toad :) he'd name it something fancy and british, like nigel or sumn. and because of nigel, he'd love chocolate frogs because hey they're twins!!

fanon knox (pure blood): hogwarts fuck boy. okay well maybe not f boy but like...his favorite part is the fact that this is a co-ed school rather than an all-boys school so he can spy on both genders equally yknow. hmm i get hufflepuff vibes from him because he's a big romantic, sucker for cute relationships, etc. he would enjoy whichever class his current crush is in, although I feel like he'd do well with classes that involved spells and wand work mostly lmao. he'd want a really fucking cute pet, so i'd give him a kneazle (it's like a cat but a bit more lion like). he'd give it a strong sounding name, something german idk. but he'd love the shit out of that kneazle, i can tell you that much. i feel like he'd try out for quidditch his first few years, not make it on, and then make it on to the team around fourth year and somehow end up team captain in seventh (and that proves kids, that you too can have a redemption arc in sports). as far as candy goes, ima say he likes the super sour candy like acid pops n shit. like i feel like the others would dare him to each as much sour candy as he can and then he wouldn't be able to taste for a week. but he'd think it was worth it :)

cameron (muggle born): good god this boy just wants to learn. magic just fascinates him, what with growing up in a big muggle family (bestie he is the weasleys if they were all type a). he's a ravenclaw, no questions asked. he would love classes involving preciseness and attention, things like potions and transfiguration. i feel like he'd have a cute, stable relationship along the way ofc because he deserves so much love and happiness and UGH he's a baby. he'd stick with a lil ginger cat, naming it after one of the famous wizards he's read about. he would love spending christmas at the school and going places when the ground are nearly empty, enjoying the scenery. for candy, he'd go plain and simple with chocolate frogs. can't go wrong with those. he'd still have fun with his friends, but he'd skip a lot of parties for some studying (don't judge, i do it too lmao). would not play quidditch but would enjoy it, end of story.

charlie (pure blood): slytherin. don't dispute it. think the weasley twins but even more flirtatious. he would be a regular at every single party that happened, flirting with the guys and gals shamelessly and drinking butterbeer like it was water. look me in the eye and tell me he would not absolutely fucking HATE GILDEROY LOCKHART WITH EVER FIBER OF HIS BEING. he'd do spot-on impersonations of him though. teacher's worst enemy. like when he walks into class on the first day, every teacher collectively mutters "bloody hell not this kid again". asks the most incredibly stupid questions ("okay but is there a spell to turn my eyebrows green? just the eyebrows though, not my hair"). he would be the most aggressive beater on the slytherin team, though he would never deliberately try to hit someone, just distract the shit out of them ("put the fear of god in them and fate will do the rest"). he'd want a loud, aggressive pet but he'd probably end up with a mean cat that hisses at everyone. he'd give it the most adorable name that just. does not fit the personality. something like priscilla. for candy, he'd take his chance with bertie botts' every flavour beans and just roll with the punches. he's chaotic like that.

pitts (half blood): ASTRONOMY IS HIS JAM. he fucking loves that class. he tutors the entire ravenclaw house in that class. he's the guy that little first years who are terrified of the class go to when they're completely lost and don't understand what's going on. besides that, i feel like he'd just be everyone's cool older brother yknow? like he'd be in charge of helping all the first years figure out where stuff is and giving them advice to help them and stuff. he would be a die-hard quidditch fan although he would not play the sport (maybe recreationally on the weekends and holidays and stuff, but the fact that it's so fucking dangerous just does not appeal to him). he'd like the candy that does tricks and stuff, like fizzing whizbees and stuff. he gives me charlie weasley vibes, where he's hardcore in certain areas (in his case, astronomy) and just flipping chill in anything else. cool older brother vibes, man. it fits.

meeks (half blood): i've said it once and i'll say it again: nonproblematic ginger dumbledore. also a hufflepuff <3 this dude just wants to fucking coast along, getting good grades and not participating in the dumb shit that could probably get him killed (even though he would in a heartbeat if his friends were in danger. duh). he'd be a teacher's favorite, probably having conversations with his favorite teachers during free time. okay ik this isn't technically at school, but i swear to god he would be dumbledore one day. like he would be the chill ass headmaster who gets shit done while also being very la di da life is nice flowers are pretty type of person. that being said, his favorite candy is and has been lemon drops ever since dumbledore got him addicted to them. his favorite classes would be potions (he'd surprisingly get along well with snape) and he'd just be great and mixing shit right and just knowing how much of stuff to add in ("how much powdered root do i add?" "about three and a half shakes." "that's not a measurement, meeks." "*shrug* it works"). he'd stick with his small friend group and love them to death, but he'd be a friend to all really. he'll help anyone that comes to him asking for help with homework (and though he won't admit it, he gets super prideful when it's someone a few years ahead of him).

stick (muggle born): harry potter if harry potter could've been more harry potter. like he would just be a part of everything and end up being part of some prophecy that demands he'd save the world and at first he'd be like HEY i'm just a small boy but then he'd grit his teeth and finesse the shit out of this preventing the end of days stuff. he'd definitely be a gryffindor, and fucking proud of it. he'd be the seeker on the quidditch team because he is so short and small and yeah he'd fucking kill it there. he'd kind of be the shy one no one expected much from, but once he starts absolutely wrecking the shit out of the other houses' quidditch teams, he'd become sorta popular? like people would invite him to parties and stuff and he's too nice to say no, but he'd mostly just hang around the outskirts, saying hi to the other poets if he saw them and mostly talking to chris and ginny (danburry, not weasley). he'd like defense against the dark arts and minerva mcgongiall would become his literal mother i can't explain it. he'd have an owl as a pet and treat it like it was his own child, telling it thank you every time it brought his mail or took his mail. as for candy, he'd like drooble's bubble gum because the bubbles are all magic and shit and i just feel like that would make him so happy <3

chris (pure blood): the older sister lesbian <3 she'd be a sweet hufflepuff who would be friends with everyone while also being the greatest socialite the school has ever seen. you know that party that practically the entire school attended and talked about for months on end? she planned that shit. she'd be like pitts in the respect that she'd help all the first years find their way in the school and in life in general. she's just such a warm and kind person that everyone would love her. she's have a little pink pygmy puff to match ginny's purple one, and she'd give it such a perfect, human name like lila or something. she'd be great at muggle studies and all the teachers would love her. also every one is so invested in her relationship with ginny it's adorable. he favorite candy is acid pops even though they make her eyes water like crazy. she'd make pretty good grades, every once in a while getting one slightly lower than she'd expected, but she always manages to bring them up to her satisfactory level :) she would not play quidditch, but she would go all out to support ginny, even though they're in different houses. that's what i call love, baby.

ginny (half blood): the mom lesbian <3 she's a ravenclaw and also one of the sweetest people in the whole school. while chris helps other with the social aspect, ginny will help anyone in any subject they need help with (she and meeks are a help duo on this). she's quieter and less social than chris, but she's one of the best chasers the ravenclaw quidditch team has ever seen. she'd end up team captain by fifth of sixth year. she'd be like oliver wood in that she is sO invested in the team's success that at sometimes she'll go a bit crazy, but chris is always there to help her put things back into perspective <3. she'd make stellar grades of course, being good friends with all of her teachers. her favorite candy would be the sweetest things like fairy floss. as previously stated, she'd have a purple pygmy puff to match chris's pink one, and she'd also give it an adorable human name like lisa or something. ginny's just sweet to everyone, especially neil and his friends.

I DID IT. IT TOOK FOREVER AND A FEW HAIL MARYS BUT I DID IT. enjoy besties <3 love u all

#dead poets society #dead poets society headcannons #todd anderson #neil perry #gerard pitts #charlie dalton #nuwanda #knox overstreet #steven meeks #stephen meeks #richard cameron #james stuchelli #ginny danburry #chris noel

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

So I was showing my sister your amazing Q-A posts, when I came across Peter's. I realized that you just keep mentioning the incompetence of the Order, and how they're just a bunch of babysitters who don't do anything throughout many posts, but never actually wrote a rant about them and their members. Can you do that, while stating all the things they did/didn't do and their uselessness to the Order? What can I say I love your rants!

Caveat that it has been a while since I’ve read books 5, 6, and 7 of Harry Potter. I have a fantastic memory but some things may slip my mind. If I grievously offend anyone and it turns out the Order does actually do something, anything, of any vague importance then feel free to let me know and shame me on the internet.

With that, the story of why I think the Order of the Phoenix is a ridiculous organization that was mostly there because Dumbledore felt the need to have a guerilla resistance group (you’ve got to have a guerilla resistance group! Or, if Tom has a secret cult, I must have one too! BUT WITH BIRDS! COO COO KACHOO TOM RIDDLE!)

First, let’s look at our lineup.

Yes, we have a few aurors in the midst, but even with them the lineup is... worrying. In the first war we knew that key figures had presumably just graduated Hogwarts and joined the Order (James and Sirius). For all we know, they were recruited even before graduation. This makes sense as James’ is a big financial win for Dumbledore and was probably, perhaps with Longbottom, in charge of funding most of their operations. That and he and Longbottom give Dumbledore a voice in the Wizengamot (which so far as I can surmise is the only real governing body in the country, the ministry exists, but it all boils down to the Wizengamot). 

The point being, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily are all barely squeaking out of Hogwarts not only when they join the Order but also even by the time they die. More, it could be because the books are from Harry’s point of view and he has a serious thing about worshipping James, but James in particular is made to sound very vital to the Order’s operations. A twenty-one-year-old who charged Voldemort without a wand (I really shouldn’t give James shit for this, it was a desperate situation, an attack they had not anticipated, he’s young, and panicking. I will still give James shit for this.)

Otherwise we have Mundungus Fletcher, who gives strong vibes of being an alcoholic and is just a generally unreliable, shady, dude who will steal your silverware and pawn it on the black market when you aren’t looking.

We have Molly and Arthur Weasley, whose only use I can possibly think of is being moral support and... I don’t know... providing safe houses maybe? Seriously, we have no indication they’re good at dueling (less so as Harry’s shocked when Molly takes on Bellatrix and miraculously wins). We know Arthur’s not a very intelligent guy. Arthur and Molly have no sense of... Well, suffice to say, if Dumbledore gave them any real information they’d run away screaming. They throw Percy out of the family for becoming Fudge’s secretary, I’m sure Dumbledore was just internally screaming and begging them not to do it so he can make Percy a spy. But he can never say as much as such a notion would horrify Molly and Arthur. Molly and Arthur are also presented as vital members of the Order by the way. Molly and Arthur. ARTHUR.

We have what remains of the Marauders in the second go around: Remus and Sirius. Remus, while a competent wizard, nobody can quite trust for the reason they couldn’t quite trust him last time: he’s still a werewolf and has no reason to support the current government. Sirius is recovering from ten years in hell and is in no condition to do anything, knows it, loathes it, and is clawing at the walls of the safehouse he was pretty much forced to provide the Order.

We then have the aurors. Kingsly seems competent enough but more than him we have Moody and we have Tonks. Tonks is young and seems very very green, she was a good enough duelist to get into the auror corps but we know she’s dreadfully clumsy and often seems to treat Order business as this very exciting super secret mission she’s on. Moody, is a paranoid wreck who is almost comical for his utterly ridiculous skepticism of everything and seems incapable of making any true plans or taking any real action.

Looking at the Order of the Phoenix is kind of like watching “Dodgeball”, you just have this really weird collection of people who try to dodge wrenches, only the Death Eaters aren’t much better, so it kind of evens out. 

But onto why I think they do nothing... It’s because we see them do nothing.

We don’t get much information on the first war but at best it seems like there were a few minor skirmishes in the street now and then. I always imagine something like the Sharks and the Jets in Westside Story. They’re walking along the streets, spot each other, dramatic music ensues and a rumble begins, then they scamper away when the aurors come in.

Remember that these guys aren’t a legitimate organization and really don’t have the structure of one. Back in the day they were probably, essentially, a street gang.

We get a little more evidence of what we see them get up to in the later books. And it’s all just kind of sad.

Remus is sent on the world’s most ridiculous and hopeless quest to recruit werewolves. Why do I say ridiculous and hopeless, what the hell does Remus have to offer these guys? Werewolves are ridiculously oppressed by the current government, they cannot obtain an education, they cannot hold jobs, they’re desperately unemployed and people routinely talk about wiping them out. Remus comes up to them and says, “Hey guys, come support the guerilla movement that supports the government that talks about killing you all the time! It’ll be great!” They’ll either put Remus’ head on a pike or if they’re nice just laugh at him until he leaves. I’d say it’d be worth it, except that it’s an exceedingly dangerous task that probably would end with Remus’ head on a pike. As it is, it ends in embarrassing failure. And this is one of the more legitimate Order missions.

Hagrid, similarly, is sent to talk to the giants and it ends in equally embarrassing failure for the same reasons (why would the giants ever support the ministry and or Dumbledore who promises them nothing). Also, sending Hagrid to talk diplomacy, with anyone, ever. Surely, there’s no way that could possibly go wrong.

Otherwise their big task seems to be to babysit Harry and transfer him from the Dursleys to the Burrow/Grimmuald Place. The first, they fail at, Mundungus gets put on the job the one day something actually happens and it’s a complete disaster. The second, they also fail at, as I never understood why they couldn’t just portkey him where they needed him to go or at least closer by. The polyjuice flight across the sky was... really unecessary. 

You can tell by the seriousness with which most Order members, i.e. Tonks, take the babysitting Harry duty that this is a very serious task for very serious people. Given this, Tom’s lack of overt action in the fifth and sixth books, the fact that we don’t seem to see them do anything even in the seventh book... Yeah, this and keeping an eye out for that prophecy are their most exciting jobs.

Remember that rescuing Harry from the Department of Mysteries wasn’t really Dumbledore’s idea. That was an emergency situation where he had to pull out the stops, more, I suspect Sirius went “CHAAAAAARGE” and gleefully rushed out into glorious battle with the Order directly behind him and Dumbledore going, “Well, shit.”

I guess the last thing I’ll say is that we also see that Dumbledore has very little confidence in the Order. He gives them nothing important to do and, more, gives them virtually no intelligence.

He never tells the Order about the horcruxes (their existence or Harry, Hermione, and Ron’s super serial mission to track them down and destroy them). He never relays to them that Harry himself is a horcrux. He never reveals the suicide ploy with Snape or that he was in fact dying before that point. He never reveals Malfoy’s assassination attempts. Dumbledore doesn’t tell them jack shit.

If he relies on anyone, usually when he’s forced to, it’s Severus Snape. This I think is not only because Snape is forced in a way to be loyal thanks to the life debt to Harry as well as his own overwhelming sense of guilt but also because he’s the only really intelligent and competent one there.

The Order’s just... if you need someone to pick up Harry or else keep an eye on him when Mrs. Figg is busy: they’re your guys. Otherwise, they make Dumbledore feel good about himself?

#ask #anon #the order of the phoenix #harry potter #headcanons

[sullustangin]

Darth Marr and Satele Shan:  Names and Priorities

I’ve reached the point in my Yavin fic that I’m starting to use Marr’s POV on occasion.  One of the things I’ve been chewing on (likely to the annoyance of others) has been the Marr-Satele-Theron dynamic during the Yavin 4 op.  It’s clear that Satele and Marr have put aside differences and have become friends (as much as a Force ghost and a self-exiled Jedi Master can be friends) by Chapter 12 of KotFE. 

I give credit to @swtorpadawan for posting about Satele on Yavin 4 a few months ago and being willing to have continued discourse about the post -- thank you.  In comments and reblogs, there’s been discussion about how to interpret Satele’s references to Theron during the op and her motivations for why she does this. 

This is a spin-off of that post, since I’ll be focusing more on the dynamic between Marr and the Shans instead of Theron and Satele. 

During the Yavin op, Theron is consistently referred to as Theron, not as Agent Shan or as Shan.  The issue of his last name is avoided.   A few people (including me) have the headcanon that ‘Shan’ is a common name in the galaxy, like Smith or Patel or Garcia would be on our world; two people named Shan does not a family connection make, necessarily.  It would explain why Theron doesn’t have a code name (though he jokingly? complains about it on first meeting). 

And yet, Satele avoids using the name in reference to Theron.  So does Marr.  And Theron doesn’t insist on being referred to by his last name, even though his peer, Lana Beniko, is referred to as ‘Beniko’ by Marr. (Satele never addresses Lana using her name.)

Why the dance? 

Honestly, when I try to reverse-engineer dev!logic, in terms of the game design for Yavin 4, I’d guess it was done to help the player differentiate between Grand Master Shan and Agent Shan.  And maybe that’s all it is: calling Theron “Theron” just keeps the player from getting confused, especially if the player isn’t a Jedi and doesn’t know Satele; and/or skipped the Forged Alliances quests and thus doesn’t know Theron.

Within the universe, however, what’s an explanation a player can come up with?

The Spies in Question

Theron’s name was broadcast across the galaxy as a wanted man for killing Colonel Darok.  He was to be apprehended on sight, but Theron was a spy; spy agencies to this day rarely let any images of their active duty agents be circulated, even if they do go rogue or defect to the other side.  Theron’s image in direct connection to his name and job as SIS agent would be on a need-to-know basis.  This has led me to headcanon that Director Trant was well-aware of Theron going off the grid; in fact, he aided and abetted it.

Lana, on the other hand, was a known member of the Sphere of Military Offense.  She commanded troops on Hoth.  She had a known face, and there was an Imperial bounty contract on her head, per Theron at Manaan.  If anything, Lana was in as much danger as Jakarro; someone could try to claim the bounty on her head, since the bounties weren’t lifted til the end of the Yavin op.

And yet, Theron’s name was the unspeakable one. 

Satele and Theron

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I feel that the dynamic between Theron and Satele is not that of son and mother; both of them have gotten past that decision.  Rather, it’s more similar to a child who was given up for adoption looking for some sort of acknowledgement from his birth family -- it’s not love.  It’s not approval.  It’s.... complicated.  Acknowledgement of existence.  Acknowledgement that the decision had impact on Theron well beyond his first year of life.  Acknowledgement that Satele hurt Jace. 

I’ve interpreted Theron’s bristling at the use of the term “my agent” to be more directed at the possessiveness of the word, yet how far apart they still are, despite the biological connections.  Technically, Yavin 4 was the first time they worked on an op together.  This was their first professional collaboration.  They haven’t seen each other socially, they can’t talk about their issues/relationship/whatever.....and they have to save the galaxy together.

Giving up Theron doesn’t mean Satele felt nothing. She privately struggles with what she did and how it turned out -- still does, based on 6.2.   However, she, like Jace and Theron, believe in serving the cause at great personal cost.  Seeing Theron beat to hell after Rishi bothered her -- it would bother anyone with any sense of compassion (which she does have).  Theron got the beatdown he did because he was taken by the Revanites.  Revan attempted to convince Theron to join him on Yavin 4 by invoking the idea that they are flesh and blood -- family.

Pretty sure Revan wasn’t talking about the Malcom side.  Satele knew that.  Was there a sense of protectiveness for Theron because of what happened immediately before Yavin 4?  I think so, yes, but it’s not motherly.

Theron’s experience on Rishi probably made Satele hyperaware that if Theron was of interest to the Revanites, then the Empire would doubly interested in Theron if they knew that he was not only an heir of Revan, but that the Grand Master of the Jedi Order was his biological mother.   Referring to him as “my agent” may be Satele’s way to avoid using any part of his name on Yavin 4.

I’m willing to bet, regardless of any efforts to ignore or conceal Theron’s name, that Marr quickly figured out that the agent who managed to outfox Revan, resist torture, get Marr’s attention, and unravel an intergalactic conspiracy was something special to the Republic.  Odds were that this agent had acted against the Empire.

Marr would be interested.

The History of Darth Marr and Satele Shan

Prior to Yavin 4, Marr and Satele had most recently squabbled over Makeb in the Hutt Cartel expansion through their various operatives.  When Marr saw Satele on the Imp side Battle of Rishi, he bowed.  He respected her and she respected him.  I didn’t get any other impression from their interactions. They saw each other as equals, though on rival sides; that creates tension, since a fight between them would be a draw or mutually assured destruction.  It’s highly likely they fought against each other in the previous Galactic War (which I’ll talk about below). 

Marr was born in 3702 BBY, Satele in 3699 BBY.  They’re about the same age, and they ascended almost equally quickly when the Sith returned in 3681 -- Satele is 18, Marr is 21.  I have spoken about how Satele and Jace (who seems to be somewhere between 16 and 20 in the trailer) were essentially just kids when the conflict started.  So was Marr.

The big difference, in terms of how their characters are constructed, is that we have the end product of Marr.  Period.  We don’t know what his name was before he took on the name ‘Darth Marr.’  We know nothing about his family, his relationships, his struggles.  As Marr said later to the player in KotFE, he wanted to be a symbol to the Empire.  Marr did not let himself be just a man.

Darth Marr is not the singular leader of the Sith.  Marr is the head of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire for decades, and as of the Battle of Corellia and the death of Darth Decimus, he also becomes the head of the Sphere of Military Strategy.  With 2 of Military Spheres in his grasp, Marr was the de facto leader of the armed forces of the Sith Empire.  The Sphere of Military Offense passed from Baras to Arho and then to Arkous after Ilum.  When Arkous is killed by the player’s character, there is no indication as to who was the next head; that Sphere is never spoken of again in-game.  We may assume Marr took hold of that.  Either way, he has become the de facto leader of the Sith Empire.  His voice, his robes and mask -- immediately recognizable to the whole galaxy.

The creators of content for SWTOR took the opposite approach to Satele. We can read about how her mother Tasiele was forced into exile when Satele was still a child.  We meet Satele at 18 in a SWTOR trailer during the first Sith incursion at Korriban.  We see her in comics fighting against the Empire.  We see her at the Battle of Alderaan against Malgus.  In Annihilation,we see bits and pieces of her falling in love with Jace Malcom and hoping she doesn’t get too attached... until a pair of permanent complications occur in 3667 BBY:   Jace was severely maimed in the Battle of Alderaan, and Satele got pregnant.  Jace’s injuries made him a much harder person than the soldier Satele met in 3681 BBY; he scared her with his hatred of the Empire. 

I’ll take a moment here to say that Satele wasn’t dumb or naive when she made the decision about Theron.  Satele was at least 32 years old, possibly 33 by the time Theron was born in 3666 BBY. She wasn’t a teen having a knee-jerk “oh noes, he’s evil” moment.  She had been in a constant state of war for 15 years when she got pregnant.   It’s in that context that Satele was concerned that Jace’s hatred could drag their child to the Dark Side... but also, Satele’s love for her child would make it impossible for her to serve the Republic without a second thought.  She couldn’t fight and die for the Republic if she was always preoccupied with coming home to her baby.

So she let Theron go.  She had other adventures.  She was at the Treaty of Coruscant.  Satele founded Tython.  She became the Grand Master of her order.

We don’t get any of that pathos or glory with Marr.   Marr IS.  Marr is the Empire. He is the best of them.  He has been, is, and will be. 

The odds are pretty good that Marr and Satele met each other in combat, directly or indirectly. The bow on Imp side Rishi is a big thing for me that points to that.  Also, look at their responsibilities during the last war.  Marr was responsible for not only defending Korriban and what would become the Imperial core, but also any gains the Sith made over time against the Republic.  That’s the job of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire; taking planets was somebody else’s rodeo, not Marr’s.  His job was to defend... something the Imperial people living on these planets would love him for.  He was their protector against brutish Republic troops and their systemic corruption. 

Satele was responsible for winning those territories back; we see her on counter-strikes against the Sith.  Satele is cast as the liberator of people imperiled by the spreading Sith Empire, not a conqueror taking new territory.  Marr probably had to defend against Satele at least once in their careers, possibly multiple times.  If she was absent from the front lines for any period of time, Marr would have noticed; he had to anticipate the next move of Republic counterstrikes as part of his job. 

And indeed, Satele was absent for an extended period.  How long Satele was absent from the battlefield due to her pregnancy, we don’t know. Satele did continue her battlefield duties for “months” after she found out.  The only information we have about post-partum Satele is that she stopped visiting Baby Theron at 6 months old, according to Lost Suns.  I don’t think she could just skip off at random while in command, so I think she probably was off the battlefield at least 10 months (last 4 months of her pregnancy, 6 months post-partum), possibly as long as 18 months, since Gnost-Dural reports she was assigned to duty with the Republic Navy at some point in 3665 BBY.  She did give birth on a random planet in a cave, so she didn’t exactly have the best medical care immediately.  Maybe there were complications. Maybe she did show early. We don’t know.

Regardless of the timeline, Marr would have been paying attention.  Marr would have noticed when Satele Shan stopped fighting for the Republic.  Where was she?  What was she doing?  Was this part of a greater plot by the Republic?  What were they planning?  And when Satele did return, he may well have wondered what she had been up to.  But no matter; she had returned.  Marr had to be ready.

There’s no obvious indication in the game as to when Marr figures out Satele and Theron are mother and son.  He makes no comment to indicate that he knew before Rishi.  Based on Marr’s dialogue in game on the Imperial side, he heavily suggests that he knows who Theron is by the time Iven, the former commandant of the Imperial Guard, is taken into custody and it’s time to interrogate him. Satele objects to Marr’s plans to torture Iven.  “And what do you think your agent has done in the Republic’s name?” is Marr’s response. 

The delivery of ‘your agent’ is indicative that Marr knows.

Theron himself stated at the end of the Imp side romance that if he was indeed recruited by the player to join the Empire, people would be suspicious that he’d be working for his mother.  That would have to include Darth Marr. 

Personally, I would guess that the after-action reports from Lana and Theron would have some clues for Marr.  However, once Theron had healed up from the Rishi events, Marr may well have taken one look at Theron standing next to Satele, and then had an epiphany so immense it gave him a headache that Lana felt across the compound.  There’s the answer.  That’s why she disappeared for almost two years, twenty-nine years ago. Theron Shan.

(According to Jace in Annihilation, Theron has some similar features to his mother. He doesn’t specify which ones.)

The Lie of Omission

A lie of omission is permitting an inaccuracy or a falsehood to continue to circulate without correction, even though the person knows the truth. (In contrast, a lie of commission is when you actively make something up or contribute to the lie -- you commit the act lying.)  Marr signals he knows who Theron is by the time Iven is retrieved from the Imperial Guard training facility on Yavin, but he never says the name Theron Shan out loud.   It’s simply “the agent” “your agent” or “Theron.”  But not Agent Shan.

The use of “Theron” in the Pubside story is most eyebrow-raising.  

Marr calls people by their titles. Marr always keeps professional distance.  Underlings are uniformly referred to by their titles.  Lana doesn’t like titles, so Marr doesn’t refer to her as Lord Beniko or Darth whatever;  it’s just Beniko.

Calling someone by their first name is highly irregular.  He does not refer to Satele as such until 6.2 (and that might be the Socratic Problem of Marr in the player’s memory rather than the real Marr).  It’s always Grand Master or Grand Master Shan. In a unique instance in the game, Marr calls Theron by his given name when he finds the Imperial Guard’s buildings in ruins during the Pubside story:  “But given the destruction Theron describes, it’s mostly likely a distress call.”  This is before the Pub operative annoys Marr by going to the Imperial Guard facility by themselves; it’s not said in anger or in irritation.  It’s said under ‘normal’ circumstances (if circumstances on Yavin are normal at all). 

But why?  Why not “Agent Shan”?  That would differentiate him from Grand Master Shan.  Just referring to the pair as Grand Master and Agent would work too; how many Grand Masters and SIS Agents are running around on Yavin 4?  Why is Marr avoiding attention to the man’s last name?

And why doesn’t Marr hop on this and use it to the Empire’s advantage?

Pragmatism and Prioritization

Marr is not a Jedi.  Marr doesn’t do things for the greater good.  He does things for the Sith Empire and for the people of the Sith Empire.  Offing Theron Shan?  Definitely on the agenda.  So is killing Satele, eventually.

But not now.  Not on Yavin 4.

Marr is probably the person closest to knowing what Revan is going to try to do in order to make the Emperor take physical form again so he can kill him.  It’s going to involve a lot of dead people.  That can easily happen; up until this tiny fragile cease fire between Marr and Satele, the Empire and the Republic have been engaged in a hot war. When they first make camp on Yavin, there is a real possibility they’ll frag each other regularly.  This is why players have to do daily quests, in theory -- to build good will between the factions. 

My partner is a military nerd and a Star Wars nerd.  He watched both version of the Battle of Rishi.  His conclusion:  based on the ships we see, Marr had more than twice the number of troops that Satele did (I put the numbers in my Yavin 4 fic).  The Imperial troops, at Marr’s word, probably could wipe out the Republic forces on Yavin 4, pack up, and head back to Dromund Kaas in time for tea.

But they won’t.  Marr wouldn’t permit it.

He knows how dangerous the Emperor is, and if he does let his troops kill the Pubs, they feed him. There also appears to be some sort of weird mystical thing going on with Revan’s bloodline.  Revan knew highly personal information about Theron (and Theron says so when the player opens the temple later on); somehow, Theron was able to use that connection to get Revan to give up Yavin 4 and secure an invite there at the end of the Rishi op.

Marr knows about this.  Marr doesn’t know what Revan would do if Marr did kill Theron or Satele, plus there’s the more predictable possibility that the Republic would respond to the death of Satele Shan thanks to the Jedi feeling it through the Force.  Chancellor Saresh would not let that opportunity pass by, even if it did feed the Emperor; we saw that at Ziost. 

Grand Master Shan is a public figure.  Her name and her power is obvious to everyone in the Yavin camp.  Theron, however, is everything his mother is not.  He is a spy.  His face is not known to the general public.  His work is secret, his exact abilities unknown.

Sure, the last name is common enough....

But Theron and Satele have never worked together before.  They’ve never operated in such close proximity before.  Yavin 4 would be the first time all the pieces could fall into place to someone observant.  Marr is many things, but one of the things he really gets annoyed about in regard to the Sith is their arrogance.  They get such fat heads that they can’t see obvious danger or they overlook aliens and non-Force Sensitives to their own detriment. 

Marr isn’t arrogant.

He doesn’t think he’s the only one who can see a family similarity or sense some connection between them.  Saying someone’s name is a powerful thing; we get upset when someone screws up our name.  It’s how our attention is attracted.  Shared last names of interesting people attract attention.  Attention leads to distraction away from the primary goal of stopping Revan and the Emperor.

That’s something Marr doesn’t want to deal with right now.  Revan and Emperor now.  The Shans later.  He avoids referring to Theron as “Shan” so as to reduce any chance that some young Sith will attempt to make their bones killing Theron, since that would spell doom for the Empire, whether through Revan’s anger or the Republic’s revenge.  It would also help empower the Sith Emperor to retake physical form, which is the last thing Marr wants him to do. 

Exposing the Grand Master as having a secret son would remove an ally from the field for Marr; Marr doesn’t want to destroy his assets before he’s used them to their full ability.  There’s no point in burning Satele Shan on Yavin 4 before Revan is dealt with. 

...And Marr respects her.  It’s a cheap way to win against a rival he knows to be his equal.

Marr wants to end Revan and the Emperor now, in that order, to defend the people of the Empire.  He’ll worry about the Shans later.  Marr will let Theron’s last name be overlooked and unmentioned, if only because it makes his job as Defender of the Empire less complicated for a few months.

**

Thanks again to @swtorpadawan​ and also @inyri​ @shabre-legacy​ @theniveanlegacy​ for discussing the original post about Satele and Theron and making me think about this.  

Headcanon Postface:

This last bit is purely my headcanon ideas about Marr, so you can leave here if you so desire. I’m placing them here rather than making a separate post and having to link back to this one. 

As I’ve described previously, we have the finished product of Darth Marr, with none of the personal insight that was provided for Satele Shan.  Who’s under the mask?  Nobody knows, really.  His first comic book adventure takes place in 3678, when he’s about 24 years old.  There’s nothing about his life beforehand that would let the player wonder how his past life affected his current decisions.  Marr ultimately would do the best he could for the Empire, regardless, but knowing if he ever hesitated, ever had second thought, had a regret -- that would make him mortal. 

And Marr is an icon, not a man, in the grander SWTOR universe, per the writers. That’s the point driven home to the player.  So that leaves it to fan fic to take off the mask or not. 

In “The Planter of Trees and Other Tales from Yavin 4,” Marr comes to this conclusion about the Shans’ relationship after observing two Shan chins.  He then alludes to understanding Satele’s decision to conceal Theron’s existence.

After Marr had gained his seat on the Dark Council (late 3680s, early 3670s), a lot of Sith families wanted him to add to their prestige. The man needed a legacy; he needed heirs.  Marr had already set himself on his path, however; he understood that it was better to be an icon.  If Marr was a normal man, he would be weakened by family connections, love, protectiveness, concern for his personal future.  Instead, Marr’s devotion to the Empire was unmatched and pure.  In the public’s eye, he was the great defender. He was the perfect Sith.

Marr never did have a public wife or a political marriage. His private life -- better secured than Imperial state secrets -- produced a  daughter that did not inherit her talents from her Force-Using parent.  Marr had been relieved that his daughter was not like him.  It meant she would never be pressured to come into public life. It meant she was free of the burden of his legacy. 

Lately, I’ve considered that, regardless of having access to the Force or not, a child of Marr was always in danger of becoming a pawn.  She was something Marr’s enemies could use against him, if they ever found out about her; being Force-Null simply meant that others could not detect her as easily. That may have also have been a concern of Satele in regard to Theron, especially as she rose through the ranks of the Jedi Order.  As soon as Marr could let his daughter fly away from Dromund Kaas, he did.  She was free. 

She died shortly before the Sack of Coruscant.  Marr did not go to her. The Empire had to matter more.  That doesn’t mean he didn’t love her.  He just never could prioritize her over the Empire. 

In my fic universe, Marr understands Satele’s choices.  He can keep his mouth shut.  For now. 

Theron is far more dangerous to the rival faction than Marr’s daughter ever was, however; he is an active player in the war, while she... just got caught in the middle, in the end....

Revan and Emperor now.  Shans later.

**

#swtor #shadow of revan #darth marr #satele shan #revan #theron shan #lana beniko #swtor fan fiction #headcanon #pragmatic sith

[eldritch-araneae]

Bumblebee, for the ask game thing.

Hehehe, straight to the point :D

DUALITY

Probably the bravest idea I'm going with him. In many continuities, Bumblebee is known to be precious and full of heart. An adorable mascot that kids love. He's still like this in my continuity, but with a twist - he's not innocent and can be as equally terrifying as he's sweet and kind. And those two sides do not contradict each other.

He's not some cruel guy who only pretends to be kind, nor he's an innocent dude who tries to act tough to impress others.

Bumblebee loves fun, having connections with others, helping people. He's loyal friend and just generally soft and caring. You can always rely on him, you can always ask for help and he will find it no matter what, even if it seems impossible.

But if someone will cross his boundaries, hurt him, his friends, his people and his planet, he will give them absolute hell for this.

His anger is volatile and burns like thousands suns. He will not take a beating and will retaliate.

He's vengeful and will remember who wronged him. He can hold the grudge for eternity, depending how badly he was hurt.

He's a persistent hunter. If you killed many and fucked with ecosystem badly for no damn reason, Bumblebee will come after you. No matter how many times you run away, he will find you. Again and again until the Well has your spark. Is this a right thing to do? He doesn't care as long he removes the thread that puts anything he holds dear in danger.

Bumblebee is an embodiment of "do not mistake my kindness for my weakness." He can be your best friend, or your worst enemy ... depending on how you treat him and anything around you.

(Personally I just find it so incredibly powerful to have a character who can be absolutely terrifying force of nature, who can destroy anything on their path, but they actively choose to be good because it makes them happy and content)

WELL TUNNED MORAL COMPASS

It closely tied to the first one. While he can be brutal and merciless, he knows exactly who he delivering it and why. He clearly sees the vast difference between a thief, who steal because they need food and home, but the system is making sure they'll lack those essential things, and a thief who steals because they think of themselves superior and everyone else must make them richer at they own expense.

To the former Bumblebee will buy food and pay their urgent bills, and use his connections to help them out, like find a job so the person won't have to steal from other poor people who also struggle.

To the latter, Bumblebee will offer nothing but death.

Death is not always an answer. It's his last resort when other methods failed. Bumblebee knows the weight of life and death, he considering anything before killing some rich asshole.

But even tho he rarely kills, he doesn't mean he won't punch an asshole in the face :D

DARKNESS AS A SAFE PLACE

Another thing I got interested in exploring. Bumblebee is yellow and always associated with sunshine. But in Sparkpulse he's nocturnal! And preferrers darkness and don't want to be in the spotlight. He much prefers Optimus to take the light while he sits in his shadow and do his thing. Which evolved from canon idea that he's a sneaky spy :>

OF COURAGE AND INSECURITIES

Bumblebee is always been depicted as incredibly brave (it's literally his highest stat!), and here he's ready to jump into danger and throw hands with a gestalt! And in some canon stories ( tho it's rare) he has big insecurities, and my traumatized ass obviously went into this direction of combining the two! I talked in depth here about this, but in short, Bee has a lot of issues (while anger is not one of them, ha!) he has to deal with and often his own courage becomes self-destructive.

#sparkpusle au

[saturnsummer]

 law school: love and goodbye letters

notes: i would like to give out love letters to the amazing cast, our 8 students from hankuk law school. like what the director said, i’ll support them in their journeys as they take a step into their new chapter, wherever they go. their stories continue and live on. it’s been an amazing journey, although I was initially hesitant on starting it. while i will definitely be suffering withdrawals and probably think about it too much, i’m thankful i started watching.

the finale has left me with so many thoughts, I want to send them off right. also, writing these letters have helped my process my feelings towards the show and stop me from getting so withdrawn. so, shall we begin this court hearing?

over the next couple of days, my inbox will be open to requests! i may not write the fastest, but I’m willing to fulfil any of your desires about law school now that it has ended.

(skip please, if you don’t want to see my personal reflections.)

HAN JOON HWI// KIM BEOM

you have been a pleasure to watch, a seasoned actor indeed. you brought life to joon hwi, depicting the student that is smart, aloof, but is actually caring for their friends alike.

joon hwi, when you entered law school, you wanted to be a prosecutor. now, you finally got your dream. you were broken, sad, betrayed by your uncle. you remind yourself that you cannot be your uncle. but at the end, you’re happy, aren’t you? you’ve been through hell, yet somehow you told yourself to hang on. believe it, samchoon is proud he raised a noble nephew to fight and correct the flaws in the law. 

you have taught us the black and whites, yet seeing the greys of law. and with that, as you continue your journey as a prosecutor, remember to judge fairly and make sure no one suffers unjustly. 

you’ve done well, kim beom. thank you.

KANG SOL A// RYU HYE YOUNG

hyeyoung, you’ve brought so many emotions across the screen. as kang dan and sol, you had the challenge to play polar opposites, the moon and sun. you were feisty, you were soft. yet, you brought the humane qualities out of sol, conveying it to us.

kang sol a, you represent that majority of students, or even adults alike. you’re single parented. you come from a broken family. you have an estranged sibling, one you try so hard to find. you are barely making enough to live by. on top of that, you are on a scholarship, yet scoring grades that skim the pass. you represent so many students in the world. yet, you didn’t let these weights hold you from feeling your passion into law. you fought tirelessly for your friends and family, and stayed grounded in your morals and values.

this is why you are my personal favourite. that you love and strive for something so much, you work on it endlessly and still rigorously put in hard work. your passion for law inspires me to be equally passionate for my future degree as well. the fact that you went to law school seeking an apology, I hope you have gotten your apology. your zeal for justice will live on.

as a lawyer now, i hope you will remember your endless nights. i hope you know your worth. i hope that everyday, you trust yourself and be bold and courageous, like how you are when defending for your professor. you will excel, and you will be a good lawyer. 

so thank you, for speaking up for the students who find it tough to get through school. for telling us and giving us faith that we can survive. 

KANG SOL B// LEE SOO KYUNG

sookyung, you are far from your character of solb. yet, you were a perfect representation. you were elegant, classy and held that prestige whenever you acted.

solb, you represent that group of us that are pressured. when the society pressures us, it is nothing compared to our family’s pressures. you held your mom’s pressure to heart, studying endlessly, trapped in a cage that you couldn’t get out of. you isolated yourself to break free, acting cold.

you finally broke free, with your consultations with your therapist. and i hope you know just how proud i am of you for standing up for yourself. your unnies and oppas will always be supporting you, and wherever you are now, whether you are training to be a judge or not, i hope you never forget that you are supported. you are a free bird, and you should do things for yourself. 

thank you, for being the solb we have learnt to love, the student we aspire to be. solb, you are forever an A+ in our eyes. 

SEO JI HO// LEE DAVID

david, you are the man backstage always goofing off. your character hates goofing. yet, your simple eyes and acting brought so many emotions. you didn’t have many emotional scenes, but your expressions were so well done.

jiho, you started law to fight for your dad, for justice to be served. but over your journey, aren’t you glad you have made so many friends? your 3 years there have proved that you have earned justice, but you earned friendships that you will never experience anywhere else. 

wherever you are, if you are at a law firm working and earning lots of money, cherish the friendships. justice is served. learn and let go, and maybe you will enjoy your life a bit more.

JEON YE SEUL// GO YOUN JUNG

youn jung, where can i start? your acting was phenomenal. you played the cheery girl so well, yet at the same time you empathised with the victim of a domestic abuse. your scenes blew me away.

yeseul, I hope you carry this on your heart. you are loved, you are right. you are not wrong. you speak up for those abused, because you were once them. with the power of the law, I know you will go on to defend for them and fight for them. you will bring justice, and you will be the woman of power in the courtroom.

leave your immature self behind. you have matured to be a woman of confidence, boldness and most importantly, knowing you are not wrong.

you will be the woman of the courtroom. your kindness is your strength. wherever you are, defending abuse victims, thank you for speaking out for the millions of women who victimise themselves, still. you have inspired the generation of women to provide support for them.

MIN BOK GI// LEE KANG JI 

kangji, your goofiness on set and in the show plays out especially well. you were lively, yet at the same time the right support we needed.

bokgi, you will forever be remembered as the boy who comes to classes with a head band. you were casual, easy going and the extroverted one in the study group. you brought life to them, taught them to live and take things easy. you supported yeseul regardless, and always stop by her side. you are unafraid to be defensive over your friends.

for that, we thank you for being the character that is loyal. that regardless of what happened, you stayed with your group even though you could easily walk away.

JO YE BEOM// KIM MIN SEOK

minseok, you were fun to watch on set, yet a more fun character to watch grow with your actor friends. yebeom had many iconic lines, yet you did well in them.

yebeom, I will not understand why you were a spy. i however, will empathise your situation. what could you do? regardless, all that is useless now. you were sidekicks with your bestie bokgi, and together, you were both the life of the group that reminded them to breathe.

you made a good choice to be honest when sol a confronted you. and you should be thankful that the group still kept you even after all that. I hope that in your law career, you will remember the codes of law, and remember what is right. you stand for truth, you stand for justice.

YOO SEUNG JAE// HYUN WOO

hyunwoo, you had lesser scenes, yet each scene you had was a turmoil of emotions each time. you conveyed your emotions so well, and I’m so impressed.

seungjae, you are the oldest of the study group. you’ve been through a lot, haven’t you? you’re permanently suspended from law school, and with a kid now. I hope things are going well for you, whether you are a doctor or a computer guy now.

thank you for being the bigger man, to admit to his mistakes and asking for a bigger punishment. you have deep regrets, but I know you will grow and learn from them. you deserve your happiness.

to my law school fam,

thank you for this beautiful journey. you have taught me to be righteous, to be bold and to be confident. you taught me the results of tenacity. you taught me how to upload my values. you taught me the reasons to be lawful and that I should stand by my morals. you taught me confidence and courage.

truth and justice, only by the law.

it’s been a journey, my graduates. I close the hearing as make my final decision. i will close my case.

thank you, directors, pds, writers, staff, editors, musicians, make up and stylists. I hope you will meet again on another shoot.

goodbye, thank you. we’ll see each other again.

#law school #jtbc law school #ryu hye young #kang sol a #han joon hwi #jtbc drama #kim beom #netflix #jeon yeseul #yang jong hoon #jo ye beom #seo ji ho #lee david #kang sol b #lee sookyung #go youn jung #kim myung min #kim minseok #min bok gi #lee kang ji #kim bum #yoo seungjae #hyun woo #jtbc #ot8

[onigirisamu]

Hello, dear!~ Thank you very much for Inarizaki headcanons~ I like this team and I hope that you like them too! And I also like your headcanons! Can I ask one more scenario (or headcanons, if you like it more) about Inarizaki and their manager (like part 2)? She suddenly starts to come back home earlier than usual. Boys think that she has boyfriend, so they start to spy on her and see her with boy. But in the end, it turns out that she worked to give the guys gifts.

i LOVE this team !!!! thank you so much for liking them! i settled on a scenario type for this fic since i tend to get carried away with writing lol im not so sure if this is what you wanted tho, sorry in advance!!

➽───────────────❥

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

inarizaki x manager! reader

pairing: inarizaki x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

a/n: its kinda all over the place... im so sorry!!! i also suck at titles ;_;

➽───────────────❥

It was 5 pm. The team was still at full energy, spiking the yellow and blue colored balls left and right. Y/n glances around the gym nervously, clutching her clipboard tightly.

Some of the boys had stopped practicing to go wipe their sweat and drink water, Atsumu in particular noticed that their lovely manager was slightly fidgeting in their spot.

"Hm? What's the matter, manager-chan?" He said in a light teasing voice, taking a swig of water from his bottle.

"N-nothing...nope! Nothing at all, haha..." Atsumu raises his eyebrows and shrugs, going to where his brother was. "That was weird." Osamu says next to him.

Aran walked up next to her, asking if she was really okay. "Y-yup! Definitely fine!" Her tone now was high pitched and she was giggling nervously, glancing at the clock every so often. All of the others sent her a confused look, not used to her being so gittery.

"No- really, I'm-" Her phone dings, her eyes widening. Suna suddenly speaks up, "Someone's waiting for Y/n outside, do I tell them to leave or..."

Her eyes went the boy standing sheepishly in the corner, bowing in respect for intruding. "Ah! Takeru-san!" She looks at Kita for permission, he nods.

She quickly grabs Takeru's sleeve along with her bag and bolts out of the gym. All of their eyes on them as they left abruptly.

"Huh." Osamu crosses his arms, a pang of jealousy erupts from almost all of them.

"Come to think of it, Y/n-chan has been going home earlier than usual." Michinari notes. "It's the same guy that walked her home the other day." Ginjima huffs nonchalantly.

"What?! How come that scrub gets to walk her home? Isn't that our job?!" Atsumu grumpily stomps his feet.

"Calm down. Maybe she's just being walked home. Nothing else." Kita says to them. Suna scoffs and rolls his eyes, "They're probably dating."

And then all of a sudden, they start arguing about what's really going on with Y/n and this "Takeru" guy. But so far, the twins and Suna were the ones mostly fighting.

"Oh my god..." Ojiro mutters under his breath, the fight was getting ridiculous. Most of them liked her platonically except for a few, but all of them were equally concerned about who their precious manager was dating and what their intentions are.

"Alright! Stop this." Kita glares and rubs his temples from all of their arguing. They immediately stop, afraid of their captain.

"If you really want to settle this, you all can go try and ask her. Simple as that." The twins glanced at each other, as if they're telepathically communicating something.

They suddenly smirk and Suna gets it immediately.

"Whatever." Suna mutters.

"What are you two planning?" Kita glares at them.

-

"No, we are not doing this." Shinsuke bluntly says, following the two idiots who came up with this idea. "But you are coming with us, aren't you Kita-san?" Atsumu smirks, walking ahead to the path that Y/n usually took home.

Kita grimaced at the blonde but said nothing. Atsumu wasn't wrong when they said all of them were curious about this guy their manager was hanging out with, their captain was no exception.

Most of the team agreed to accompany the idiots after practice just to ease their minds on the issue. Hence why we're here now, near Y/n's house, hiding behind the bushes.

Her house was simple, nothing fancy. Her last name was engraved on the gate. They could only make out light coming from what they assumed was the kitchen area. All of them waited for a while but nothing happened. That is until Kita glanced on his wrist watch, an irkmark appeared on his forehead. "This is so pointless. Why did I ever-"

"They're coming out! Shush!" Atsumu pushes everyone to hide behind the bushes. "You're the one being so fuckin' noisy, Ratsumu!" Osamu whisper yells. "Shut up yo-"

"Guys?" Y/n stands in front of them confused with Takeru right beside her. "I should really go." The boy beside her says. She turns to Takeru, "Thank you for all the help, Takeru-san." He nods and smiles at her but laughs when he saw the entire volleyball looming over him.

"See ya, Y/n! And good luck!" Takeru waves and walks away. "Now-" She faces them again, "What are you all doing here?" An amused smile takes over her face.

"Atsumu's fault." They all chorused.

"You all followed!" He shouts. A laugh comes out of her mouth, effectively shutting them all up. "Come inside, I have something to show you all."

Unsure glances were thrown to each other until they eventually followed. "Sorry for the intrusion." Kita said first, taking his shoes off.

"Whoa! It's bigger inside! Nice house, Y/n-chan!" The blonde twin says, looking around aimlessly.

"For just how long were you all outside of my house?" Her hands settled on her hips. "Not that long." Osamu says, thwaking his brother's head. "And why...?"

"All of them are curious about this Takeru guy." Aran sighs, taking a seat on the couch.

"Is he your boyfriend? Huh? Is he?" Atsumu sends her a teasing smirk.

"Uh, no?" Y/n said confused. "Is that why you all spied on me?"

"Wait, your telling me that you two aren't dating?" Osamu asks skeptically, leaning on the head of the couch.

"No...why?"

"What about yesterday? You were so nervous about something then Takeru came. Ginjima says that he's been walking you home alot lately." Akagi asks curiously.

She laughed and shook her head. "I was nervous because the shop I needed for my project was closing soon."

"Huh? Then why does he get to walk you home earlier everyday now?" Atsumu furrowed his eyebrows.

"Takeru and me are project partners."

That would explain alot.

"Seriously? Whoops." Suna sucks in his breath, feeling internally embarrassed.

All of them took a moment and looked at each other with an "oh shit" reaction and suddenly erupted in laughter.

An idea popped from inside of her head. She quickly sprinted to her room leaving the boys confused as hell. She came back with a box full of stuff.

"Well! Since you're all here, might as well give these to you all too." She smiled and gave each one of them a neat pouch.

"What's this for?" Kita asks, opening his. His eyes widened as it was a hand made bracelet with his names on them, and an intricate design on each one.

"Cheesy, I know." A blush begins to form on her cheeks. "But I wanted to make everyone something...so this is what I came up with- it's okay if you don't like i-" she was cut off by all of them them gushing over the bracelets their manager made.

"Do...you like them?" They all enthusiastically nodded in unison, already putting them on. She could almost cry happy tears, she spent forever on making them to be perfect.

"I have to admit that Takeru-san was the one who helped me with this... He's a part of the art club, so yeah."

"Ah! So that's why you two walk home together."

Casual chit chat was thrown around and some were comparing who's bracelet were made with more love.

"Glad that was all cleared up." Kita sighs happily, watching them argue again. "Your team was really curious about my dating life, weren't they, Kita-san?"

He laughs with her, "And I'm assuming you came along too because you were curious too, weren't you, Kita-senpai?" Y/n teases the older boy, his face slightly turning pink.

"O-okay! Time to go! It's getting late." Shinsuke coughs and urges everyone to put on their shoes and leave.

"Ara?"

"Kita-san is blushing?" He sent Atsumu death glares which made him apologize over and over again.

"Thank you, Y/n-san!" They say in unison while she waves happily from her door.

They couldn't have asked for a better friend to call their manager.

#order up! #onigiri #gohan #inarizaki manager #inarizaki x manager reader #inarizaki x reader imagines #miya atsumu x reader #miya osamu x reader #miya atsumu imagines #miya osamu imagines #kita shinsuke imagines #kita shinsuke x reader #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintaro x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #kinda not happy with this :((( uhhg

[carriagelamp]

I read more books this month than I anticipated. I should probably wait before doing a February book round up, but I already feel like I’m struggling to decide which ones to cut from my list so I’m doing it this weekend instead of next. If I read much next week I’ll bump ‘em up into March’s round up

Asterix and the Missing Scroll / Chieftain’s Daughter

I got the last two “new” Asterix books out of the library so I could officially say I had read them all. Over all my opinion is… they’re fine! None of these would ever become one of my favourites, but they’re all fine stories. The art is good, it is completely in-line with the original, and the stories are… fine. I liked The Missing Scroll quite a bit more than The Chieftain’s Daughter but I never find a ~hurr hurr teenagers~ plotline that interesting, whereas I do enjoy seeing Romans get chased down by unicorns so that’s probably not surprising. There’s some spark I can’t put my finger on that the new Asterix books just seem to be missing though… a bit of humour or cleverness or something. Still, they’re fine reads if you’ve been hungry for more Asterix and I’m glad I read them. (Though the library gave me the American translation of The Chieftain’s Daughter, something I didn’t realize until I started reading and realized that this is wrong??? I’ve been reading these books since I could read and I know this is wrong??? What the hell is happening??? The I realized the publisher was different and I simmered in fury the whole time I read it — WHY ARE YOU CHANGING NAMES AND WORD CHOICES IN A WELL ESTABLISHED SERIES THAT ALREADY HAS AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION YOU ANIMALS WHY ARE YOU DUMBING DOWN THE LANGUAGE AAAUGH

The Bride Was A Boy

This one was cute! The Bride Was A Boy is an autobiographical manga written by a transwoman recounting her experience with transitioning, meeting her boyfriend, and eventually getting married. It’s mostly done in a 4-panel style and is interspersed with lots of information about the LGBT community, particularly in Japan. A lot of it was stuff I was already familiar with, but I still found it adorable and a very worthwhile read. it would be a fantastic book for young queer people who are looking for more of an introduction into international queer space

Cul de Sac: Children At Play

Cul de Sac is just a weird, fun newspaper comic series about the children who live in a small neighbourhood. It fully taps into the children-as-semi-feral-chaos-agents, and there’s something hilariously nostalgic about the whole thing. Lots of times when stories try to portray children there’s always something… wrong about it, something that doesn’t mesh with true childhood, but in this comic I can see glimpses of my grimy, dirty-covered self as a preschooler running around the pages. I would definitely recommend trying them!

The Cremation of Sam McGee

I reread The Cremation of Sam McGee and The Shooting of Dan McGrew and man, they don’t stop being buckwild. These are two really famous Canadian poems that were then illustrated by equally famous Canadian artist Ted Harrison. Harrison’s style is gorgeous and distinct and given what strangely grisly stories these poems are they fit the mood perfectly. Everything feels just a little tilted and wrong and unsettling. If you enjoy an occasional poem (especially ones that are super fun to read out loud) and haven’t read these before, I would recommend them! Or do what my teachers did, and read Sam Gee to a young child in your life and watch them be baffled and concerned and horrified.

There are strange things done / in the midnight sun / by the men who moil for gold...

The Gryphon’s Lair

The second book of the Royal Guide to Monster Slaying series written by Kelley Armstrong; I’ve been eagerly awaiting this book! It’s a very cool fantasy series because it really leans into environmental stewardship and the importance of studying animals and conservation so you can find ways to live alongside a healthy ecosystem. In this book Rowan is officially accepted as the Royal Monster Hunter, which means a whole new set of trials and burdens. She has to contend with a baby gryphon that is becoming increasingly large and dangerous, plotting family members, doubt about her abilities, a potential curse, and a daunting quest deep into the mountains in order to set things right. If you’re looking for some very gentle high fantasy, this series delivers.

Hogan’s Heroes comics

What to say here. Anyone following this blog has suffered the knowledge that I’ve been rewatching Hogan’s Heroes lately. When I found out that there was a short-lived, shitty comic series in the 60s? Of course I had to hunt them down. And so I’ve read them! And they sure were a shitty comic series from the 60s! They were, shall we say, of wildly varying quality. Some were actually really funny (like #5, it easily had the best art and best jokes imho), others were a slog, and most were fine and amusing enough to read the whole way through but not much more.

If you don’t know what Hogan’s Heroes is about: it was a 1960s sitcom that took place in a WWII POW camp, in which the Allied prisoners trapped there had a massive, complex sabotage/spy ring right underneath the camp. The whole show is about constantly outwitting the bumbling Germans while keeping up the pretense that they’re all just normal prisoners. The show is hilariously funny and I would recommend that, even if I can’t say the same for the comics unless you’re like me and are just really thirsty for more content...

Magic Misfits: The Fourth Suit (Ripley)

The final book of Neil Patrick Harris’ middle grade series, The Magic Misfits. In this fourth book, the group is fragmented and forced to meet in secret to avoid notice from the mysterious and powerful Kalagan whose cruel machinations have already turned the quiet little town on its ears, putting people’s lives in peril and destroy Leila’s fathers’ magic shop. The Misfits are going to need all their skills to finally unmask this sinister magician and break the mesmerism he seems to have placed over the entire town before it’s too late to save no only the town, but their friendship and trust.

Super charming series, and the illustrations are gorgeous.

Marsupilami

HOUBA! I watched a very bad TV adaptation of this as a kid that still managed to find a place in my heart, and so I decided to finally try reading some of the original comic! On one hand: it was exactly what I had hoped! The art is cute, the marsupilami is so dynamic and fun to see on the page (and has a way better characterization than he does in the show), and it’s really funny! Unfortunately! It is also pretty racist! Yikes! That seems to be a reoccuring downfall for some of these older Belgian comics... I also tried reading the first book of Les Tuniques Bleues and aye ye ye… I couldn’t actually get through that one. That being said, these were older volumes and frankly, North American media was also real fucking racist at that point so I’m not gonna write them off either. I really liked most of this book, and will probably try to get my hands on one of the more recent volumes of both Marsupilami and Les Tuniques Bleues to see if they get better with time. (If you’ve read either of those series and have volume recommendations hmu)

The Pagemaster

I’m a sucker for novelizations, I have no excuse beyond that. I recently rewatched The Pagemaster and decided to read the chapter book. And it was a solid little adaptation! It’s about Richard Tyler, a young boy with a head for statistics which unfortunately means he lives in constant fear of (in his opinion, statistically likely) injury or death. However that fear is put to the test when he gets caught in a horrible thunderstorm and has to shelter in a nearby library with halls and shelves that stretch beyond the imagination and with untold perils hidden among the pages of the books. Richard, with only his library card and three novels that hope to be checked out, has to venture through the different genres and horrors housed int he library if he ever wants to find the exit and get home to safety.

Pumpkinheads

A very charming little graphic novel. Cute art, and really loveable characters. Josiah and Deja work every year at a local pumpkin patch, and are best friends during those weeks. However this is their last year working there before going off to university and as the last day at the patch comes to a close they realize that they both still have regrets. Deja sets off on a mission to avoid work, eat all the interesting snacks around the patch, and get Josiah to find the girl he’s been crushing on every year and has never worked up the nerve to talk to.

After being deprived of human contact for almost a year, this book really hits you right in the heart.

The Screwfly Solution

A deeply upsetting scifi/horror short story! I read it on the recommendation of a friend and, yes, can confirm that this fucked me up a bit. I honestly don’t even know what to say about this that wouldn’t spoil it, but frankly with everything being as it is, this hit a little bit too close to reality. (That being said, it was very well written, like this is a very good story on a literary level and it does exactly what it sets out to accomplish.) If you feel like reading twenty pages and being really disturbed, give it a go! Otherwise go and read any number of the much happier books on this list!

The Whipping Boy

This was a book I remember reading as a lit circle book back in elementary school and really loving. After telling myself I’d reread it for years, I finally sat down with it again. If you somehow got through school without reading this one, it’s about a brat of a prince and his whipping boy — since it would be unspeakable to strike a prince, when the prince misbehaves it is Jemmy who gets whipped. Unsurprisingly, there is no love lost between the two of them, because the prince is always intentionally causing problems that Jemmy has to suffer for. Things begin to change though when the prince decides to run away and drags Jemmy along with him. On the run, being chased by highwaymen, and desperately trying to hide their identities, these boys go on a fast-paced adventure beyond the castle walls. It wasn’t as special as I remembered it being as a kid, but it’s a fine little chapter book.

#book review #book reviews #canadian literature #canlit #queer lit #the boy was a bride #asterix #asterix and the missing scroll #asterix and the chieftain's daughter #neil patrick harris #magic misfits #the whipping boy #screwfly solution #pumpkinheads #marsupilami #hogan's heroes #dell comics #pagemaster #kelley armstrong #a royal guide to monster slaying #the gryphon's lair #ted harrison #the cremation of sam mcgee #chatter

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.22

What Happens After 2 AM... Doesn’t Hate To Be a Disaster

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)  x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader    Word count: 4420

Summary: Celebrations are in order! And when it comes to the Avengers, it’s always ‘the more the merrier’.

Warnings: swearing, brief angst, nightmares, guilt trips, attempt at humour, fluff

Story masterlist ༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Tony took off, too eager to try and get in touch with his friend via intergalactical channel. You almost felt sorry for not witnessing it, but as the biggest excitement tuned down, everyone once more invested in their own business, you and Steve were the only ones left in the kitchen – and were approached by Natasha.

If you didn’t know better, you’d say the spy even looked shy in her supposedly casual stance.

“Hey, uhm… you guys mind if I ask someone to tag along?” she threw to the open as if it wasn’t a big deal. Her plan didn’t work, because you nearly fell off of the stool with how quickly you spun to her fully.

One corner of her lips twitched at your clumsiness, but then she casted her gaze down, only making your eyebrow rise.

“Oh?”

“It’s just… a friend.”

Riiight. She was so full of shit. A teasing smile slowly spread on your face and you exchanged a meaningful wordless conversation with Steve who had insisted on him cleaning up.

“A friend, you say?” you pried, unable to hide the suggestive tone – and not even trying. She shrugged it off, clearly downplaying it once again.

“For now. A little flirting here and there maybe…”

She fooled no one, but you were in too much of a light mood to torture her and actually call her out on the fact that unless she was thinking about getting serious, she wouldn’t have wanted to introduce the mystery person to the team.

“Good for you, Natasha,” you noted instead and you might have imagined it only, but her ‘casual stance’ eased for real. “As for me, I’m all for it. I might be glad to take some attention off me.”

“And vice versa,” she pointed out and it dawned to you just how sneaky her planning was. It shouldn’t surprise you – she was a spy after all and one brilliant woman to begin with.

“Smart. I’d love to meet them.”

“I’m sure he will be too. Thanks. Uhm… Steve?” she hummed in his direction, just to make sure he was alright with it too.

The man in question raised his hands as if he wanted to say it was not his decision to make – and sent a spray of tiny drops of water your general direction with that movement. You snorted at that unattractively.

“I think it’s safe to say it’s her party, so it’s her call,” he stated with a grin and dried his hands.

“Then I say yes, of course he can come, Nat-- I meant-“ not Nat. You wanted to bit your cheek at the silly slip, probably caused by hearing the name so often, but the redhead smirked.

“Nat’s fine. I’m still honoured, by the way. Naming yourself after me...”

“Would have done it again in a heartbeat,” you reassured her with a matching smirk, relieved. She winked at you and at Steve, spinning on her heels and walking away. It was the spur of the moment what you blurted out before she could leave. “And Nat? He’s a really lucky guy. I hope he knows that.”

“Thanks,” she threw over her shoulder almost carelessly, but once again, you knew better. Natasha Romanoff felt like any other human being, only she didn’t show it as often as you for instance.

You glanced at Steve as he circled the bar and you exchanged a brief smile with him. You simply couldn’t stop smiling today. You couldn’t say you minded.

Steve’s fingers found your face and hair, caressing softly and his lips brushed yours. It seemed he couldn’t stop touching you today. Once again, you couldn’t say you minded.

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

You were purposely postponing the inevitable question of what was coming next; and Steve didn’t push you. It was as if the two of you had made a deal about working out worries and obstacles later, except you hadn’t.

Chances were that Steve was avoiding the topic, because there was so much to go over and you couldn’t quite blame him. Should you go public with your resurrection? Or was it safer and overall better to keep you hidden? Perhaps you should tell at least your family and friends? What about you having a job – you couldn’t exactly sit around all days long doing nothing. The paperwork if you officially came back. The scandal. Were you even allowed to tell anyone about such thing as coming back from the dead?

Oh yeah, you were very much happy that Steve was ignoring the obvious problems in making as expertly as you were.

So, you idled. You cuddled, you watched movies, stole kisses, you spied on him while he trained with his teammates (after you spent about twenty minutes on a treadmill and decided you had to either focus on running or on ogling Steve, choosing the latter, obviously) and momentarily was searching for recipe for the best cookies, because why the hell not bake when having the time on your hands.

Relaxing for the whole day, you did not expect the sudden burst of thunderclap and lightning that followed. You jumped in your seat nearly falling off of the bar stool for the second time that day and shot Steve, who was sitting on a couch with an actual cookbook, a puzzled look.

He sighed when Tony passed the room, a grin plastered on his face.

Right. Calling Thor. God of thunder. Apparently, it worked.

“Brother Anthony. Where is the fight?” the thunderous voice demanded from the hall, your chest vibrating with the decibels of it.

“There’s no fight,” Tony responded light-heartedly. “Party is in order.”

“A party?”

“Yep,” Tony hummed, clearly amused by the shock he had caused his friend.

“You’re… you’re doing well then?” the god lowered his voice a fraction, but still was loud enough for you to hear him clearly despite the pair not being in the room with you. “How is the Captain? I requested of Heimdall to watch over him, but Loki orchestrated an escape from his prison, so I was too preoccupied to visit sooner.”

Oh. Oh. Even Thor knew just how harsh life had been to Steve lately. Also, you forgot how strangely he spoke – orchestrated, who did ever say the word orchestrated in a casual converstion?

You spared a glance at the Steve, not surprised he didn’t meet your gaze, truly engrossed in the book all of sudden. His skin paled a little, besides his ears that turned an uncomfortable shade of red as if they were on fire.

You bit your lip and decided to say nothing. What was there to say, really? He had been mourning; you wouldn’t exactly expect to find out he had been playing the welcome committee during Thor’s last visit, whenever that had been.

“See for yourself, Point Break.”

You rolled your eyes at Tony’s dramatics, and watched the God of Thunder himself, the walking rock he was, basically tiptoe into the room, eyes instantly focused on Steve. You remained graciously unnoticed. It was almost as endearing as hilarious.

Steve lowered his book (laying it down without bothering to mark the page he had been ‘reading’, while avoiding your gaze really) and stood up, offering a short hug to the God, who was adorably perplexed at such behaviour.

“Hello, Thor. It’s good to see you,” Steve welcomed him warmly, lightly patting his friend on his back. Tony watched amusedly as the men retreated, one of them utterly confused, shooting him a not-so-subtle puzzled look.

“Brother Steven, you-- look well! I am pleased to see that you are feeling better…”

“Use that famous beyond-eyes eyes of yours, Thor,” Tony snorted in laughter, gesturing vaguely around his own face. “I imagine you’ll be surprised at what you’ll see.”

To your surprise, Thor actually examined Steve with an absent gaze, blinking after few seconds, understanding mixing with confusion on his face now.

“Oh… you are… bonded,” he let out in disbelief, quickly switching to warmer voice. And nope, he still hadn’t noticed you. The corner of your lips twitched. “I am happy for you, brother. I could sense your sorrow for your soulmate during my last visit here without taking as much as a glance at you. You deserve another soulmate, one that can make your heart equally happy. I hope you do not feel unfaithful for you love again – I believe you still carry your love for your past partner in your heart and her soul knows that even in afterlife.”

Steve smiled at him, sad tones in the otherwise wide smile. “More than you know, Thor. But thank you. Would you like to meet her? She’s why we are celebrating and why we invited you to join us.”

“Of course. I’d be honoured to meet your lady-“

“You can,” you made your presence known at last, causing the God to snap his head to you at instant. You offered a grin and a tiny wave. “Hey, Thor. Long time, no see.”

The poor Asgardian stared at you incredulously, his eyes wider than Steve’s and Tony’s smiles. Then he shook his head, joining all of you in the lifted spirits.

“…now I understand why Heimdall had that secretive smile on his face when I was leaving… my lady! I am delighted to see you alive!”

He crossed the room in swift strides, nearly making you back out with how fierce he looked at the moment. But he wouldn’t punch you, right?

Nope, he wouldn’t.

Instead, he pulled you into his strong arms, lifting you a foot above the ground, squeezing you in a bone-crushing hug that brushed your tender ribs. You were so surprised you didn’t even hiss in pain. He released you as quickly as he embraced you, greeting you with his typical kiss on the back of your hand. Was there a hint of red in his cheeks as if he was embarrassed at the open display of friendly affection that preceded his gentleman’s manners?

You shook off the thought quickly, dropping a little curtsy to entertain your company. You met Steve’s eyes behind Thor’s enormous shoulder and he squinted at you playfully as if he was warning you to stop what could be considered flirtation. You winked at him, earning a gape from him and a chuckle from Tony.

“But… how?” Thor’s voice brought your attention back to him and you saw nothing but wonder on his face. “I can see your spirit, it is still glowing magnificently, clear of dark forces that could have tried to bring you back to life despite the natural order. This must have happened differently… how?”

“It’s a long story, Thor. Can you stay?” you asked hopefully, pleased by the warmth in his eyes when he nodded.

“To celebrate your return, the reunion of soulmates with one of the strongest bonds I have ever had the chance to witness? ...with pleasure, my lady.”

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Asking Thor to join was a good plan. The Avengers had introduced some of the board games they knew to him, highly amused by his frustration during monopoly; to be fair, everyone but Tony was frustrated, so no one was mad when the game ended; with the billionaire’s victory, naturally. But it wasn’t just that; he also got Steve tipsy thanks to some special liquor that was meant for ‘no mere mortals’ and Steve with his cheeks red and a smile more relaxed than you had ever witnessed was a sight to behold.

Also, Thor wasn’t the only special guest. Sam had joined you; Natasha’s special friend. It was very much clear he was special and not only because of their body language. He proved to be worthy of being her man by surviving the grilling he was put through; you didn’t blame Natasha that she had chosen this occasion of all to introduce him, because naturally, there were enough distractions… like you coming back from dead… and such.

You came to like Sam immediately. He was another person to join your verbal combat with Clint and Tony, he was funny, but somehow knowing the limits of everyone despite barely meeting them and he was another person who was giving away the friendly vibe that was impossible not to love. He was an amazing match to Natasha, who was used to hiding her feelings, making her crawl from her tough shell. Match made in Heaven. He was a therapist, a former soldier and apparently their encounter was a story they wouldn’t share until they were completely trashed. You couldn’t wait.

The family-feels-filled party was officially ending at two a.m. You were dead on your feet by then, which resulted in Steve nearly carrying you to your common suite, earning a streak of ‘awww’ that registered even in your sleepy brain. You had no care in the world, curling in Steve’s embrace on the bed and falling asleep as soon as you felt his arms relax around you.

You didn’t quite count on the retelling your story about what preceded the re-encounter with your soulmate to cause your dreams going off rails; again. Snapping your eyes into the dark, your heart was hammering in your ribcage, the remnants of a nightmare slowly leaving your mind.  Sparing once glance at Steve’s fast asleep face, you carefully wiggled away and went to brush your teeth. Instantly recognizing you wouldn’t fall asleep any time soon, you decided to wander the Tower in your pyjama, a thin sweater over your shoulders.

Maybe a tea would make you good, calm your restless brain?

Heading for the kitchen and common area, you didn’t expect to find the light on; and you sure as hell didn’t expect Samuel Wilson being the person occupying it.

“Hey,” he greeted you in low voice and a tired smile on his own. “Can’t sleep?”

You couldn’t help the sigh that was drawn to your lips. “Nope. I didn’t want to wake up Steve, he could use a few hours extra, not less.”

“I bet,” the man hummed thoughtfully, motioning for you to sit in a kind offer. You shook your head and gestured towards the kettle.

“Tea?”

“Nah. Thanks.”

You went to make a cup for yourself only then, keeping the talk up. “What about you?”

“Nat’s in the shower. Woke me up.”

“Then what are you doing here?” you teased him with a chuckle and his face scrunched as if he tasted lemon and was not expecting the taste.

“Nightmares are kind of a moodkiller.”

“Ah,” escaped your lips intelligently as you sat beside him, placing the tea on the table. Honestly, you weren’t surprised at how brusque he was after the evening you spent together, but at the same time, you were – a little. You offered him a half smile. “She looks happy though. You do that.”

He smiled a tiny smile back, but his crinkling eyes said more than the curl of his lips. “I hope so, ‘cause I’m trying. Nat’s amazing. She could have anyone, but deserves the best. For some reason, the Universe seems to think it’s me.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,“ you hummed, recalling the feeling way too clearly. Sam’s eyes bulged then, guilt and shock and only then you realized what he said. Oh. Oh.  The Universe. Natasha was Sam’s soulmate. Now you understood why they ended up not sharing their meet-cute yet. “Your secret is safe with me, just in case you wonder. And I can see the two of you being soulmates. I mean… at least you used to be a soldier, like her. And you still help people.”

You could feel his relief rolling off in waves. It was quite funny how afraid he was, probably having been promised death delivered by Black Widow if he shared. Then, his eyes turned curious, gentle brown wondering.

“You’re still self-conscious about your soulmate?”

“No!” you blurted out automatically, hesitating when his eyebrow rose, calling you out on your bullshit without words. You huffed. “Yes? I mean… no. It’s just-- sometimes… I guess it was just being confronted with it again when I met him for the second time… like, second time, the first time. It kinda hit me again. That our worlds are so different, mine’s so… plain and normal., while his… well.”

Getting it out felt good, but your admission sent the room into heavy silence, soaking through your skin, making you question whether you had told him too much. Why did you even say that? To Sam, of all people? You had just met him tonight!

You must have scared him off. Freaked him out. Now he was about to leave and tell on you and he would never talk to you-

“Did Natasha tell you what kind of therapy I do?” he asked kindly instead, causing you to release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

You shook your head, intrigued, happy to learn more about him and ignore the silly overshare slip you had managed.

“Soulmates,” he said simply, your heart stopping at the single word. What? … like… what exactly was he doing? Huh? “I deal with people who lost their soulmates. And I spent a good portion of time digging into relationships, soulmates-related or not… and I can tell you that sometimes when people are exactly the same, they are a disaster in making.”

Well. That was loop that returned to your case faster than expected. “What… uhm, what do you mean?”

“I mean that I’m not in the battlefield anymore, but maybe… I could be good for Nat. Grounding. Just like you can be good for Steve, be exactly what he needs,” he explained, his eyes locked with yours, not releasing you; yet, you didn’t feel trapped. Damn, he was good. “Do you feel that you two… work?”

You blinked at the sudden stupid question. “Of course I do.”

He grinned victoriously and you realized you just proved his point, so you chuckled self-depreciatingly.

“That’s because it’s not always about being the same in every aspect of your lives. It’s not about similarity – it’s about completion. About two people who simply fit. From what I saw so far, from what you told me, you two fit. That’s what’s important.”

Yeah, it seemed the Universe’s choices in soulmates were pretty swell; Sam was one of the kindest and most amiable people you had ever met and Natasha deserved nothing less.

But now, it wasn’t about Nat and Sam; no, Sam had spoken to you about this for your benefit. You smiled at him softly, reaching out and squeezing his hand for a short second. He returned the courtesy, letting your mouth speak your mind.

“Thank you. I… I think you two do as well. I guess it was just heavy dreams and everything that happened…” you shrugged, already feeling calmer. You couldn’t recall what particular dream was making you lose sleep tonight, but it left you with a strange feeling in your stomach that now seemed to resolve into nothing.

Sam shrugged, huffing with an undertone of bitterness that quickly disappeared.

“Well, we sit here at four a.m. Both of us. Every single person in this building has shit to deal with. You’ve been blown up – you came back from death, much like Steve did, in a way. He’s seen you die on top of that. Nat’s past is a case of its own and… and I saw my soulmate fall from the sky and for some reason I’m blessed with another… I’m just a firm believer in handling that kind of things together, that’s why I lead group sessions rather than individual ones.”

Your lips parted at his admission. He had lost his soulmate? For real? And he found the strength to deal and to help others? Yeah, Nat definitely deserved this guy. You just hoped neither of them would have to go through losing one another – in battlefield or anywhere else.

“Nat… is your second?” you pried carefully, only making certain.

Judging by how absent his gaze grow for few moments, she was.  

“Yeah.”

As if talking about her summoned her, she appeared in the door behind Sam’s back, observing silently and motioning for you not to babble out on her when you noticed her.

“Oh. Uhm… I’m sorry for your loss,” you whispered honestly and Sam smiled at you sadly, but undeniably grateful for such simple words.

“Thank you. I guess… the Universe does have a strange sense of humour. She came to me to help Steve, because she knew I lost my own and could relate and that’s how we found each other. It clicks in a weird way and I’m glad it seems to be working out so far.”

No way. Shit. Natasha had been… looking for a therapist for Steve? Just how bad Steve had been? The icy fist squeezing your heart gave you enough of an answer. Bad enough. You tried to silence the irrational guilt that gnawed at your stomach; it wasn’t exactly your fault, was it?

Curiosity was also knocking at your door, but you repressed it as well. As much as you’d like to ask whether Sam ended up having a session with Steve despite usually doing group ones, it felt wrong. Not to mention that Sam was a respectful and respecting man, who probably wouldn’t answer anyway.

“Yeah, it does,” you agreed with his musing instead, your own mind set off. “I thought it was rare to have two soulmarks and here we are.”

He snorted in an unattractive amusement. “Well, I have thought the same as you. And yet here we are. With you, coming back from the death as if two marks weren’t rare enough on their own.”

“That’s fair. But I suppose that… who else than people who spent smaller or larger part of their life saving the world deserves more than one chance at happiness?”

“True that,” he said with a light curl to his lips despite his eyes flickering behind you for a fraction of a second.

Letting your mind wander, you continued speaking, paying no mind you must bore him. “Or maybe it’s getting less rare. Maybe it’s part of something bigger, what we have yet to understand. Something… something might be changing. Cosmic…or maybe I’m just babbling. It’s just a feeling, something is in the air. A change.”

“That’s some heavy conversation to handle at four a.m,” a new voice spoke to the silence that had settled after your monologue and you whirled around, nearly jumping out of your skin.

“Steve!” you yelped, shocked and embarrassed. How much had he heard? Oh god…

Steve only shrugged and exchanged a look with Natasha, standing in the other doorway, which caused Sam to turn to his soulmate as well.

“Yeah, no shit,” Nat agreed, smirking.

“Hey, Nat,” Sam hummed, clearly less embarrassed at being eavesdropped on than you were.

“How about we cut this short and actually try to get some sleep?” she offered, carefree.

“Yeah, try,” you mimicked wryly with a sigh.

“We can try together,” Steve coaxed as he walked to you, running his hand through your hair tenderly. “Come with me, doll?”

How could a girl resist a sleepy supersoldier, when he combined his puppy eyes with being shirtless and inviting her back to his bed?

Couldn’t. The answer was: she couldn’t. You were a girl; hence you stood no chance.

“Sure,” you mumbled in a slight haze, before you managed to look back at your loyal listener. Sam had a smirk on his face, seeing what a goner you were for Steve, but his eyes were still kind.  ”Thank you, Sam. Must be that face of yours, making me verbally vomit my emotions.”

“Did you just compliment my face?” he asked, fake-shocked and turned to his own soulmate, scandalized. “Nat, watch out! She might wanna steal me.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were her,” Natasha grinned at him and he chuckled, comeback prepared.

“And why is that?”

She rolled her eyes, but her smile turned fond and you felt like you were missing something. Ah, private joke perhaps?

Not that you cared much as Steve squeezed your shoulder lightly, his thumb slipping under the sweater you hadn’t bothered buttoning up, caressing your bare arm.

“You’re so corny,” the spy snickered.

Sam stuck out tongue in response, at which Nat placed a palm over her chest in theatrics. You chuckled and rose to your feet.

“Well, this looks like the right time to leave. Night, guys!”

“Please, as if you are about to sleep! You fool no one!” Sam called after you and you would swear you heard a slap after that, making you giggle.

Steve wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you to his side and pressing a kiss to your temple, his lips lingering in your hair then.

“I thought we agreed that we fit perfectly,” he hummed, only a trace of accusation in his warm timbre.

You sighed and curled up to him as close as it was possible while walking.

“We do. I… it really was just a strange dream, I guess, and this… whole thing. I saw it from a new perspective, you know? Basically an outsider who had no clue how soulmates worked at first. I went through the shock of you being my soulmate twice.”

“Ah, so you thought I was too handsome-“

You slapped his chest playfully as it instantly started shaking with hushed laughter, showing you he was only joking. You snuggled into his warmth, hoping your face didn’t quite had on display that yeah, he wasn’t that wrong. It was exactly that and like twenty other things about him and that was before you even met him. You didn’t expect him to ever understand that, not really, but Sam was right; you worked as a couple, or you liked to think so. Nothing else mattered.

Reaching your room, he released you from his embrace only to keep his hand on your shoulder to spin you, making you face him. You reluctantly raised your gaze, meeting his soft smile.

“I love you. You’re my everything and we are meant to be. Well, at least I believe that,” he mused, a fraction of doubt flashing in his eyes until you shook your head and planted a kiss right to his lips, feeling the smile widen. “If you’re not convinced… well. I’m making it my newest personal mission to prove it to you.”

Your eyebrow rose in challenge at his suggestive tone. “Are you, now?”

You couldn’t imagine saying no to that, but truth to be told, you were getting tired again; after spilling the beans to Sam, sharing your worries and getting them out of your chest, you felt like you would be able to actually fall asleep again.

“Yeah, doll. And I think I’ll start right in the morning after we get some sleep.”

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Epilogue

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Thank you for reading! (Potentially for leaving likes and reblogging)

There’s an epilogue left (full chapter-length), but you know me – I’m considering a short bonus chapter that I’m not sure will fit into the timeline – just something for fun, I guess. We’ll see.

#fanfiction #marvel #supernatural #steve rogers x reader #soulmate au #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america imagine #avengers #spn x mcu #mcu x spn #marvel x supernatural #supernatural x marvel #steve rogers soulmate #errare humanum est #anika ann

[themadauthorshatter]

I seriously need to write this part, for fans and stans of Cal.

If Cal had to marry Iris PART 5!

They catch the spy and have Elara and Samson mentally tear him to pieces.

He's not from Norta or the Lakelanders.

Turns out Piedmont isn't exactly happy with the alliance between Norta and the Lakelands, so the spy was sent to poison one of the kings so the two sides would battle again. It would've worked, too, had it not been for Coriane Jacos's idiot son.

That's when Tibe leaves the spy to Elara and her cousin.

Now that I bring up Cal, he's in the infirmary with Maven and Iris at his side, watchung him as he sleeps. Yes, he's breathing, he's still alive, don't worry.

Tibe and Orrec walk in and ask how he's doing.

The healer said he should wake up any minute now, as he threw up a lot of the poison and has been resting for a while now.

Orrec watches Cal and admits that he was brave in taking the poison for him, and probably owes him his life.

Tibe agrees, and asks Iris and Maven how Cal's doing.

He shouldn't have because Cal wakes up and says he feels terrible, like he just learned he was swishing hydrogen peroxide in his mouth at the dentist's office(don't ask why that's so specific).

Cal tries to sit up, but Tibe and Maven tell him to stat down and not push himself.

Iris almost hugs him, because she's glad he's alive, but fights the urge to smack him for being stupid enough to willingly drink poison.

All the same, Orrec does remark that Cal knew and asks why he did it and how he knew.

He saw the spy put in the poison with his own eyes while dancing with Iris, that's how he knew. As for why, he didn't want the war to start over, not after everything that's happened between Norta and the Lakelands.

Tibe informs him about the spy and how Piedmont's reacted, so now they have that on their plates.

Cal's about to get up to see the spy, but Maven stops him, saying that he should get some rest, unless he wants to make the healer mad. He'll even chain Cal to his bed and lock him in his room, if he has to.

Tibe tells him to cut it out and tells Cal to stay and rest, so a healer can fix him, should any new symptoms arise.

They talk a little more and leave Cal to recover, though Iris stays behind, watching as Cal lies back down and fights a grunt; guess that poison hit harder than expected.

Here is their conversation:

(Neither talk. That's the whole conversation. They just stare at each other until Cal stares at the ceiling instead.)

(Just kidding😁)

(Iris glares/scowls at Cal as he coughs in his mouth, looking back at Iris with very tired eyes.)

"What were you thinking?"

"I saw the servant poison your father's wine. I couldn't let him sleep with the fishes."

(While Cal smirks at his own joke, Iris swats him on the arm, not at all amused.)

"You almost died, you fool!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry."

(Iris calms down and takes a breath.) "Are you feeling alright?"

(Cal, somewhat loopy, only chuckles.) "Look who's the fool now."

(Iris smacks him again.) "Is this how you always are when you almost die!? What if a healer doesn't save you next time!?"

(Cal stops trying to alleviate the situation and sees just how serious Iris is being.)

"You were really that scared?"

(Iris takes Cal's hand and holds it in hers, holding on for dear life.) "Of course I was. And I still am."

After a moment of silence between the two, Cal slides over and lets Iris lie next to him, though they're both awkward and a little uneasy because of reasons I'm not explaining.

He tells Iris not to worry because he's probably not going to do this again, though he leaves out the 'probably' to keep her from getting worked up again.

Iris warns him that he'd better not or else she'll actually end him. Cal only chuckles and remarks that she had at least 6 montha to do that and never did, so he isn't worried.

Iris still tells him to watch his back, if he ever pulls a stunt like this again.

Cal agrees and holds on to her as he drifts off, falling asleep so his body can rest.

The next morning, Cal is well enough to leave the infirmary and let everyone know he's still alive.

Formalities be damned, Iris stays by his side in case he gets sick again and needs to be healed again.

Everyone's glad he's alright, especially Tibe and Julian, who tell him he should stay in bed to get some more rest.

Maven was extremely glad his brother didn't die in the night, honestly because he really didn't want him to die, though all he says is that Cal owed him a rematch in the game they were playing the other night, the game part he leaves out, but Cal gets it anyway.

Cal asks what happened to the would-be assassina and Orrec tells him that he died, having taken himself out, so to speak, an admittedly coward's move, but an understandable one because he would've been executed and put through much worse, which is more than what he deserves.

Cal tries not to show a reaction, but admits that Piedmont's going to be pissed that their attempt not only failed, but they're just going to have to deal with the newly formed alliance between Norta and the Lakelands.

Easier said than done because the spy was a Red from that was born in Piedmont, but worked for the Scarlet Guard, who also worked in the nation of Montfort, a so-called democratic republic where Silvers and Reds live as equals.

Guess they weren't pleased with two angry kings allying together.

Tibe admits he's heard of this Montfort, but never thought it was anything more than a rumor.

Orrec politely stares that Montfort's real, and they left a letter for the Kings.

The note is extremely diplomatic, congratulating the Kings in ending a war, but asking that they end another war as well, one that's going to begin between the Silver powers of Norta and the Lakelands anf Montfort and the Scarlet Guard. The writer admits he'd rather not slip more blood, but if it ends the forced labor, poverty, and death Reds are put through generation after generation, then so be it. Who's written this note? None other than Premier Dane Davidson, the leader of Montfort.

Just to clarify, Davidson had nothing to do with the assassination attempt on Orrec, but a Lakelander with a grudge sure as hell did. He sent a spy ordered to slip Orrec the note and this Lakelander sent a spy ordered to kill Orrec and let Norta and the Lakelands tear each other apart while the Scarlet Guard watches with snacks and beverages.

Back on track, evryone wonders what to do, though Elara heavily suggests that they send a bomb to Montfort, but Maven disagrees because they don't know how strong Montfort is, and this Davidson seems docile, at least.

Tibe has just about nothing of that because these Red bastards almost killed his son.

Orrec ignores the fact Tibe didn't bring up how the attempt actually wasn't on Cal's life, but agrees with what he's saying. Regardless of who sent the assassin, they shouldn't get cozy with someone who wants them all dead. And there's always going to be a need for Red labor.

Cal, who's been quiet this whole time this whole time, speaks up. Why shouldn't they, seeing how the new alliance between Norta and the Lakelands has developed?

Everyone's quiet, even Iris, but Cal doesn't change his mind.

Thought I forgot about Mare in all this? Think again. Cal still met her and asked for her to be hired as a servant. The difference here is that Shade, who was in the Guard and near Summerton, heard that the Crown Prince was marrying the younger of the two Lakelander princesses and pulled a seriously risky move in getting his family out of Norta and into Montfort as fast as he could, including Kilorn and even going to the front for Bree and Tramy. By the time Sentinels arrived to collect Mare, she and her entire family were gone with the wind. He got in a lot of trouble for it, but it was worth it for the huge family reunion they all had.

And that's part 5! This is probably going on a hiatus for a little bit until I can come up with anything new for it, but for now just know that Cal and Iris are in love(as terrible as that is).

Sorry to any fans of this AU. I'll pick up and finish this some day, when I have an idea or two on how to end this.

I hope you guys enjoyed this, and sorry again

#red queen #tiberias calore vii #cal calore #iris cygnet #maven calore #tiberias calore vi #orrec cygnet #elara merandus #mare barrow mention #shade barrow mention #attempted assassination tw #au #ua #hiatus

[yngai]

one of the main reasons ada has survived this long working on her own ( outside her predisposition to manipulate people into doing her job for her, a paradoxical method of both minimising & maximising risk ) is that she essentially became her own handler / IT support .  while she necessitated such aid early on in her career, especially during her time at umbrella, a naturally precarious mission which required years of preparation on part of umbrella’s rival corporations as well as several fellow spies implanted within the company that made way for ada’s hiring an assistant researcher in the arklay laboratory .  the death of her handler by his own hand, discovered upon her arrival at their agreed meeting point at the apple inn, despite her securing a sample of the g-virus ( or scraping a tissue fragment off william birkin’s corpse depending on route or adaption ), the sudden, brief release from her dependency on his guidance + the organization during her espionage only reinforced a core aspect of her personal philosophy, that of all people in this world, the only person she can ever rely on is herself .

of course, albert wesker came to her rescue, but his gloved hand was an underhanded offer & even back then, before they would become rival agents of the organization, she knew all he saw in her was just another card in his deck, easily shuffled out when she is no longer of any use .  it was an offer she couldn’t refuse & did little to dissuade her belief in self-reliance .  it only bolstered it, truly, for when she will find herself in a situation like this again, if she even allows herself that uncertainty overcasting her life, her exit will be assured far in advance .  if albert wesker was to treat her as a stepping stone for his own ambitions, she would only do so in return & their animosity grew from that initial meeting, an impersonal video call amidst a dying city .

ada wong’s shift in persona, from a scared woman trying to survive the hell of raccoon city, grasping at straws & desperate manipulations all in the vein hope of survival, to the fully realised spy whose status within the criminal underworld was akin to legend, was a multi-step process which the organization facilitated as her success retrieving secretive data & virus samples from within umbrella’s own, most well-guarded facilities was a display of realised promise, scouted for her talents & interests by the organization just as she had earned her degree .  a strong foundation, natural talent, myriad potential careers ahead of her, an interest in the filed & a pretty face, beneath a burning determination to make something of herself .  she was the perfect candidate & eager to commit to the life of an actress without audience, a lifelong dream without the one setback that halted it early on .  she became a guarantee of completed missions of even greater importance to their goal of overthrowing their competitor’s hold on the pharmaceutical industry & the development of biological weapons of war, an entrée into a lucrative black market that would follow when umbrella’s trade secrets make their way into criminal hands .

she was an asset & fully aware of it, but left scarred & bleeding after setting two feet in hell .  weak, bruised & fearful beyond imagination, there was a purpose here which she clung tightly onto, not the organization or their goals, she held no belief in them beyond wanting to see umbrella burn, but a chance to become something greater, something better .  like the woman painted in the legends told about her, infinitely capable, deeply calculating, twirling the world on her finger .  it would come at a cost, as all such matters often do, personal & moral in equal measure .  too much of a danger for her to return home, a risk that the few people she cared for most would become a liability in her life as a spy & she would much rather they think her dead .  allying herself with the organization’s heart will paint her in colours likened to umbrella, but the rest of the world does not often consider the reputation of a dead woman & in the long run it would not matter anyway, she was not planning on sticking around .

ada agreed to pay that price in full & thus, was given further training to account for how umbrella’s evil would mutate in the coming years, taken new, far worse forms as it exchanged shadowy hands .  though the organization could only provide so much, training ada as an H.C.F. field operative with only few additions to account for her personal conduct, lacking certain skills which instrumental to her survival which she sought to teach to herself.  while there are many facets to account for in the transition between ada’s initial equipment & skill-set in resident evil 2, compared to her much different, twice kidnapped notwithstanding, effortless professionalism displayed in 4 ( i went over her physical development in a brief ramble in the tags here ), i should probably return to origin & discuss her ability as a hacker .  a talent she picked up quickly, almost second nature, coding her own malicious software, exploiting vulnerabilities within well guarded digital systems .  already quick on her feet & adaptable, fast thinking translating from perilous situations to the computer screen, ada found hacking to be akin to the act of manipulation, finding & using a vulnerability against your target .  people & their personalities were systematised within her mind, like code, their wants & desires, their history, all absorbed & accounted for to predict every future movement .  not a perfect process, her own prejudices get in the way of fully perceiving others, her cynicism resulting from a sense of helplessness & of everyone else, she will never have access to her own code .  she understands, she infers, she consumes information at a rapid pace & sometimes that is enough but she is not above making mistakes, pitfalls of her own mind & they each cost her .

during raccoon city, her closest equivalent was the EMF visualizer, introduced in the remake but a piece of tech i rather enjoy as a callback(?) to her future abilities in regards to computers while being deceptively simple & fitting for the 1998 setting .  a fairly self-explanatory, rudimentary piece of technology that detects & interacts with the electromagnetic field generated by moving currents, though it is more apt at doing so with the force created by an electric field as opposed to a magnetic one, as the former is much stronger that the latter .  it allows its user to scan & interact with circuitry by directing charges within an electric system, or short-circuiting any point along it .  while referred to as hacking in-game, it bares very little resemblance to the real deal & quite limited .  it was a portable, small-scale EMP generator that disrupts low-level electronics & can cause more complicated tech to, essentially, glitch ( thus bypassing NEST’s identification system ) .  ada used it to destroy intake fans in raccoon city’s sewers, primarily & any access to umbrella’s internal database was acquired through her position as an assistant researcher before her credentials were erased &, would there be anything above her clearance level, the ID & passwords swiped off of dr. john clemens & dr. annette birkin, respectively .  john, of course, was far more willing to part with his than annette, both because of his infatuation with ada & his plan to leak arklay’s darkest secrets to the world .

with the evolution of technology, the dawn of the information age &, i suppose, the slight discrepancy in its advancement between the ressie universe & reality ( though a lot of what we consider groundbreaking today was developed years prior for military use before going public, meaning both umbrella & the organization would have rather easy access to such advancements quite early ), ada’s only necessity in regards to cyber-security was a computer connected to whatever secure, private network she wanted to break into .  for example, a pair of smart-glasses outfitted with such that are convenient, portable & fashionable, able to discharge a non-lethal explosive, the equivalent of a stun grenade, if activated .  used to scan an encroaching environment, any digital system she wishes to interact with &, in certain instances, as the eyes & ears of anyone overseeing her mission from afar .  hardly a replacement for a proper computer, but a useful tool nonetheless & easy to discard for fear of her tampering being tracked .  as technology develops even further, ada does upgrade from bulky laptops to tablets, to phones & whatever permutations they might take in future, a weird cube .  her abilities as a hacker, tied to a fictionalised rendition of the practice for the fun of it, grow with the tech & tie directly into how she becomes her own handler .  information is a currency, after all, & before every mission ada does extensive reconnaissance on the people & places she will be tasked with visiting, sometimes relying on a web of contacts around the world formed after years of spy-work .  anything too secretive & too hidden is relegated to field discovery, as she would rather her targets not be on alert after a potential cyber-attack .  she prefers it this way, while she always steps into a new mission with an exit strategy already meticulously planned, there is fun & risk to be had in being physically present for a grand revelation & she never passes up the chance for that thrill .  after the organization succumbs to internal conflict & she sets the stage to work freelance, ada begins carrying herself through her objectives & any outside help, predominantly in regards to transport & accommodation, different missions requiring different resources, is given to her by her various employers .  a sort of guarantee, an advanced payment, if you will, though she is not above taking those in cash just as well .  using any resource at her disposal, what is provided willingly, what is not, the people she encounters throughout her life, all to ensure her success, her survival .

a fun little headcanon to end on :  between missions, ada has taken up a little side-project that blurs the line between work & leisure .  leaking sensitive information between rival companies & criminal organizations only to sit back & watch them destroy each other, or to a hungry press looking for the next big story, satiating a starving public seeking explanation for the continuous state of disarray .  gray hat hacking to pass the time, if you will .  she isn’t looking to make waves, she takes no credit for her tampering, would be poor form for a woman wrapped in mystery, & rarely strikes businesses with an international reach, where the real damage is done .  its merely a way to pull strings & watch the world spin, a performance she enjoys viewing from afar .

#* file // : OOC — ( 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐄 . ) #* file // : 004 — ( 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 . ) #* file // : 005 — ( 𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐀 . ) #this was originally just gonna be about ada's ability to hack things but once again i go on a nightmare tangent #i feel fucking insane what even is this supposed to be #just nonsense word vomit #sorry guys i can't be helped #sad brag #etc. #😭😭😭 #ada wong is an epic girlboss

[astraeagreengrass]

illicit affairs [the woods 2/4]

No one ever tells you that picking up the pieces takes longer than shattering them

Word Count: 3.657

Warnings: heavy angst, mentions of death and death-related themes, descriptions of a memorial service.

A/N: Thank you to every one that sent me some love on exile! I'm truly grateful for your comments and I hope you like what's coming up on this story. Special thanks to the always wonderful @xbuchananbarnes​ for helping me out with this. The banner picture was found here. Dividers are from @writeyourmindaway​ ♡

and you know damn well for you, i would ruin myself a million little times

Working for Nick Fury sometimes made you sick to your stomach.

"That's very old school of you," you said, taking a sip from your coffee. The styrofoam cup was hot to the point of almost burning your fingertips, but having something on your hands kept you from twisting them nervously.

Nick raised an eyebrow - the one you could see, at least - and drank from his own cup.

"Your father always said I had a flair for the dramatic."

"Humph," you muttered as Nick rolled down the steel door of the storage unit. "Do you think he would believe your conspiracy theory?"

He shrugged, black leather duster coat swooshing in the wind.

"Your father was a soldier and a spy," he stated. "One of the best, I must say. He believed in his orders as long as he could question them. So yes, I think he would engage my conspiracy theory, as you put it."

You refrained from comment. That was Nick's way: mention your father enough times to instigate your grief, just enough to loosen your morals. The shame was on you for allowing him - even if his suspicion of an undercover plot inside S.H.I.E.L.D. fascinated your curiosity.

“Can I ask what made you start questioning your own Agency?” you mumbled under your breath as you and Nick made your way to his SUV. The sun was slowly dragging it’s hues across the inky sky, the stars fading as the golden light came to be.

“When Stark hacked the Helicarier’s systems there were some… Inconsistencies,” Nick replied. “Which naturally spiked my curiosity.”

“Naturally,” you smirked.

“I suppose I don’t have to tell you that this is not an official assignment, Agent Y/L/N,” he said.

“No, sir,” you shook your head.

“Good,” he pressed a button and the car doors unlocked. “Besides, I’m sure Captain Rogers’ presence in Washington will… Stimulate the inconsistencies we’re looking for.”

“Shit,” you cursed. “That was today?”

Nick tapped the clock on the car’s navigation panel.

“He’ll be at headquarters at nine. I expect you to be there.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” you said. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

Nick nodded.

“How is your grandmother?” he asked. “Is the treatment working?”

“She’s doing a round of chemo every forty days,” you clicked the seat belt tip in the buckle. “She’s stable, but, you know, it’s cancer. I visit her every weekend, though.”

“Are you sure you can’t convince her to move to the city?”

“Nope,” you shook your head. “She’s never gonna leave the woods, Nick. Can you even imagine my grandmother living in D.C.?”

A discreet smile played in the corner of your boss’ lips.

“I couldn’t imagine you living in D.C., yet here you are.”

You didn’t reply, choosing to sip your coffee instead. Nick turned the radio on as he drove off the storage lot and a playlist of Stevie Wonder’s greatest hits was your soundtrack on the journey back to the city. Daylight was high in the sky when the SUV reached the Triskelion, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s colossal headquarters sitting right in the middle of the Potomac.

It was just past seven, but already the premises were bustling with people. You supposed that’s what happens when a superhero starts his first day on the job - people show up early, wearing their best clothes and flawless makeup.

“What the hell,” Nick muttered. “This is an Intelligence Agency, not a fashion show.”

You stifled a laugh.

“You can’t complain about motivation in the workplace now, boss.”

Nick shot you a dirty look.

“My office. Nine A.M. Don’t be late.”

You mock saluted him then went on to find some breakfast.

Natasha Romanoff’s memorial service was held on a balmy December morning, at a Christian Orthodox church in Brooklyn.

All the time you’ve known her, Natasha had never mentioned religion and you were positive that she would’ve cracked two or three jokes about the priest’s monotonous speaking if she were there. Only she wasn’t, and all she left behind was a handful of grieving acquaintances.

There was no body to keep vigil over or bury. In between the thousand of unsaid words between you and Steve, the subject of Natasha’s death lingered. He tried to explain, as he did to so many other things, and maybe you would’ve understood if you just tried to be better at listening - tried harder to make sense of the incredible mess reality had become. Apparently it’s not easy to retrieve a corpse when the person actually died on an alien planet almost ten years ago.

Natasha’s beautiful face smiled at you from a portrait sitting at the altar. Her hair was longer, cascading down her shoulders in fiery red waves that curled into blonde ends. The shadow of a smile on the corner of her lips couldn’t elude the sadness lingering in her eyes. Even so, she hadn’t aged a day since the last time you saw her, in a time so distant it felt foreign, as if it belonged to someone else’s existence instead of your own.

Remembering 2016 felt like being dunked in ice water. Like the time you jumped into the frozen pond in the woods and opened your eyes underneath the stream, catching the twisted, milky sunlight. Looking back at that life - so peaceful despite all the trouble that surrounded it - was equally as numbing.

It was announced to the general public that the woman known as Black Widow bravely sacrificed her life during what was now being called the Battle of the Earth. Yet, when Steve called two days earlier saying that there would be a private service for Natasha's family members, you wept - not so much because a service meant that she was well and truly gone, but because she thought you were her family.

You met her at S.H.I.E.L.D., of course. Even before you crumbled to dust, you’d constantly wonder how different things would’ve been if you’d never let stupid Jimmy Rodriguéz’s words get to you. If you’d just ignored his taunts instead of hacking S.H.I.E.L.D’s database just to prove him you were smart enough to do it, maybe then an old friend your father never bothered to mention wouldn’t have come to your house in the middle of the night, saying that if you could bypass government-patented digital security, then you should move to D.C. and work for him. You would’ve never left the woods, never traded it for the tangled webs of secrets and deceptions a job as an intelligence programmer proved to be.

Perhaps then you wouldn’t be here, sharing a pew with Steve Rogers - the only man you’d ever loved and probably ever would. Perhaps you would’ve met someone else: a nice, normal, maybe even a tad boring guy, but you wouldn’t care because you wouldn’t be very interesting either - just a nice, normal, maybe even a tad boring girl. And the two of you would be ordinary, kissing goodbye in the morning and hello in the evenings, with the ever present assurance that this was how things were meant to be. Not the tragic tale of love and loss you shared with Steve.

You didn't wait for him to walk you out of the church when the service was over, yet your plan to flee without an awkward farewell misfired at the sight of Nick Fury by the door. He looked exactly like he always did - black leather eyepatch, black leather duster coat, seemingly plucked from your thoughts.

"Y/N," he greeted you, evidently surprised although only someone who's spent as much time around him as you had would catch it in the tone of his voice. "How are you?"

"Good," you replied, way too quickly. "Fine."

Nick nodded, then turned to the blonde woman next to him.

"Carol, this is Agent Y/N Y/L/N," he introduced you. "Y/N, this is Captain Carol Danvers."

"Former agent," you corrected, shaking the hand Carol extended. She had a gentle, but strong grip. Noticing her gaze looking up, you turned around to find Steve approaching.

"Carol, Nick," he acknowledged them, then said to you: "You ready to go?"

You nodded, whispering a quiet "goodbye" before allowing Steve to lead you outside.

"Thanks," you muttered when you reached the open air. Even New York's polluted breeze was more refined than the stifling atmosphere inside the church and you inhaled deeply.

"No problem," he smiled. "I was hoping we could talk. You know, if you had the time."

You had all the time in the world, or so it seemed these days. Almost two months had dragged by since you woke up on the floor of your apartment and every minute seemed to make up for the years you missed. You weren’t working or even living in the old building in Bushwick anymore - Cal and Daniel, the father and son duo that first aided you, were. You were just going through the motions.

No one tells you that picking up the pieces takes longer than shattering them. No one bothers saying that when they break, they scatter, and compiling whatever’s left is a perverted scavenger hunt.

“There’s a coffee shop over there,” Steve pointed to a row of storefront across the church parking lot when you hesitated to give him an answer.

You shook your head, trying to scare off the white noise that always seemed to pester you.

“Sure,” you said, wondering if in your alternate life you’d know how to say no to Steve Rogers.

“So, you've experienced this sort of thing before?” Nick said.

“You get used to it,” Steve replied, looking down at the gravestone. Carved on the marble were the words: Col. Nicholas J. Fury, The path of the righteous man. Ezekiel 25:17.

“We've been data-mining HYDRA's files,” Nick continued. “Looks like a lot of rats didn't go down with the ship. I'm headed to Europe tonight, wanted to ask if you'd come.”

Steve shook his head.

“There's something I gotta do first.”

“How about you, Wilson?” Nick turned to Sam. “Could use a man with your abilities.”

“I'm more of a soldier than a spy,” he replied, resolute.

“Alright then,” Nick sighed and you thought he was honestly disappointed. He shook Steve and Sam’s hand and said: “Anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me right here.”

He turned to walk away but halted when he saw you approach. It was the first - and only - time you saw him wearing anything other than the black duster coat and you were surprised to find him affable, rather than alien.

He pointed to the file in your hands.

“How many favors did you have to call in order to get that?”

“A few,” you smiled. “Turns out I still have some friends in Kiev.”

Nick snickered, a whisper of a laugh so discreet that it faded almost instantly in the breeze.

“And you’re sure you’ll pull on that thread? With Hydra out in the open and Congress breathing down your neck?”

His real question was implicit: was your relationship with Steve Rogers worth the trouble?

“I’m sure,” you said, clutching the thick manila folder that contained information on the Winter Soldier.

Beyond the dark disguise of his sunglasses, you caught Nick’s gaze - and you were sad that things ended this way.

“Be safe, Y/N,” he offered.

Nick Fury was out of the graveyard and your life before you could wish him the same.

"I'm sorry I didn't call for a while," Steve apologized as soon as the young waitress left your table with your orders scribbled on a notepad. "I had to leave town for a few days."

You nodded, picking a napkin from it's holder in the center of the tiny corner table where you and Steve sat.

"It's okay," you said. "I know you have stuff to do."

He was still, after all, Steve Rogers. You never tricked yourself into believing you were his priority, instead accepted in your heart that you would always be second to The Avengers, Peggy Carter, Bucky Barnes and whatever else Steve set his eye on and it was fine. You'd be the second place as long as you could be something.

"I went back to return the stones," he added. "Bruce managed to repair the quantum tunnel, so Sam and I volunteered to go back and put them in place."

Back. As in the past.

"Okay," you repeated, because your recent conversations with Steve constantly left you lost for words, with all the information about time travel and elemental crystals from outer space. "Did everything go alright?"

"Yeah," he clasped his hands in front of him, and his colossal frame made the wooden chair he sat in look even smaller. "I saw Peggy."

You looked up from your staring match with the napkin, astounded.

"Really?" your tone was clipped and Steve noticed. Throughout your relationship, Steve's former flame was the unmentionable, the firing pin in the granade. Even if you had accepted the silver medal, it didn't mean it wasn't agonizingly painful to know you'd never shine bright in Steve's eyes like Peggy's gold standards.

"In 1970, at Camp Lehigh," he rubbed his forehead. "She didn't see me, of course, but I saw her. There were a bunch of pictures on her desk - her kids, her husband, one of myself before the serum..."

"Why are you telling me this?" you interrupted him, napkin now balled up in your fist.

"I don't know," Steve shrugged. There was a light pink blush crawling up his neck. "Shit, I don't know why I thought this would be a good way to start what I need to say to you, but… I guess seeing Peggy live her life made me realize how much of mine has been wasted."

You scoffed.

"How could you possibly have wasted your life, Steve? You're Captain America! You've saved the world more than once."

"When it comes to you I've wasted it," he whispered. "And I'm no longer Captain America."

"What?" you gasped, purposely ignoring the initial part of his sentence.

"I passed the shield on to Sam," he announced. "He'll do a good job."

"Why?" you breathed out.

"It was time," Steve said, plainly as if you were discussing the weather and not the one thing that defined who he was for over a century. "The guy that wanted a fight so badly he became a military experiment isn't here anymore. He's changed, the world has changed. That shield is too heavy for me now."

You shook your head, stunned.

"I can't believe this."

Steve started speaking, but stopped when the waitress arrived with your drinks: cappuccino for you, espresso for him. She took an unnecessarily long time pointing out the sugar and sweetner were, placing a hand on Steve's shoulder, telling him with a giggle to call her if he needed anything. Your coffee suddenly looked unsavory.

"The world needs Captain America," he continued after she was out of your hearing range. "But Captain America doesn’t necessarily needs to be Steve Rogers.”

“I think Sam will do a marvelous job, Steve. I just don’t understand where this decision came from. Is this because of what happened with Thonos?”

“Thanos,” he corrected you. “And no. This has been looming on my mind since before him.”

“Since when?” you questioned. “Because before Thanos you were out in the world being a wanted man. Please don’t tell me this urge for normalcy came to you while you were hiding like a coward.”

Steve sighed.

“Look, I know you’re angry at me and you have every right to be...”

“I know I have every right to be,” you cut him off. “I gave you everything and you left me stranded. Do you have any idea how hard that was? My boyfriend of three years became a criminal and he didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye before he fled.”

You slammed your fist on the table, rattling the china. The foam of your drink sloshed, a tiny bubbly dot spilling from the cup to the platter.

Lately, every single one of your conversations with Steve seemed to end in a fight and you were to blame. As much as you tried to move on, either your biological clock wasn't adjusted yet or your heart couldn't let go of the night he appeared on your doorstep after being absent for so long. It might've been five years in history for him, but for you it was a mere sixty days ago. You couldn't match this caring, attentive Steve to the bearded man in the shadows, indifferent and unconcerned, so you lashed at him. You nitpicked his every word and quibbled over the smallest things and he always took it silently, enraging you even further.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I shouldn't have said that. It has nothing to do with the subject."

"It has everything to do with the subject, Y/N," Steve exclaimed, hands flat on the wood, like he was going to reach for yours but gave up at the last moment. "I was so busy trying to make the world a better place that I didn't realize I was ignoring mine until I lost it. Until I lost you."

You rubbed your eyes.

"You can't blame your job for your mistakes, Steve. Or mine, for that matter."

"What were your mistakes, Y/N?" he asked. "You could've fled after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., but you stayed because I asked you to. You could've started a different job, but you took the position with the Avengers because I asked you to..."

"I loved you," you interrupted. "I did all of it because I loved you. And even though sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I'd said no, I don't regret it."

There's something about the air when the truth is laid bare. It shifts just slightly, as though nature itself can feel the weight of the words spoken, so it moves the atoms around to make space for verity. And in the essence of the world, it is immortalized.

"Do you love me still?" Steve murmured.

"You know I do," you smiled softly. "But I am so broken."

Crushed. Turned to dust long before the Mad Titan snapped his fingers. In the mad race to start over, you were so distant from the finishing line.

You were wrong: your recent conversations with Steve didn't end in arguments, they ended with you crying and him consoling you. This time his chair nearly collapsed as he rose, reaching you in just one step. At first he towered over you, arms hanging without touching your body, but when your sobs intensified he kneeled by your side, taking the crumpled napkin from your hands to dry your tears.

"Shhh," he soothed.

"I'm so sorry, Steve," you said, but it came out jumbled and watery from your tears. “I’m sorry.”

Noticing that the few other patrons and the flirty waitress were starting to look, Steve threw a fifty dollar bill on the table and pulled you up, wrapping his arms around your body as he led you outside.  

Night was beginning to fall over Brooklyn. Sunsets in the city were all about spotting a few twinkling stars amid the smog, before the lights from the skyscrapers scrammed them away. One would argue that the sky in the woods, a dark blue tapestry with hundreds of twinkling dots, was far prettier, but you always thought it was fascinating to see the cosmos shining in the orange firmament.

The city had its own magic. It used to buzz in your veins when you first moved here, staring out this same sky from a window at the top deck of the Avengers Towers. If only you could feel it again.

“Do you feel better?” Steve whispered into your hair when your breathing began to even out.

You nodded, cleaning your tears with the sleeves of your sweater.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

“Yeah,” you croaked. “I need to finish packing.”

“Packing?” he frowned.

“I got a call from my grandparents lawyer when you were gone,” you explained. “Turns out I still have ownership over the house in the woods, so I’m planning to move back home before Christmas break.”

Steve’s arms fell and he stepped away from you. The absence of his touch made you shiver.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah,” you sniffed. “Another family lives in my apartment now and I can’t stay with my cousin forever, so…”

“You could stay with me,” he intervened. “You don't have to leave."

"I need to start over, Steve."

"But what about me?" he pleaded.

Steve Rogers never pleaded. He was stubborn and tenacious, the worst person to get in a fight with. You'd learned to cave because he never did, and it was better to swallow your pride than staying days without speaking to your headstrong boyfriend when his job put him in danger constantly. For three years you told yourself that it didn't matter that Steve didn't love you fully - you loved him enough for the two of you. Only enough wasn't acceptable anymore.

You leaned in, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I love you, Steve," you said. "But just like you're not the guy from the 1940s anymore, I'm no longer the hacker from S.H.I.E.L.D. either."

Steve cupped your face, touching your forehead with his.

"Don't leave me," he begged. "I can't live without you."

You kissed his palm.

"We've made a mess," you replied. "Just let me try and fix it."

You owe me that, you didn't say, but Steve knew. In the misty twilight, he only hoped you could forgive him.

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