#spring is lovely but what comes immediately after it is Not my favorite alas | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blackchantilly · 19 days

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Tagged by @rivetgoth to do my URL as song titles! Like in an acrostic way. Hold on, because once I start talking about music it's hard for me to shut up!

B - "Breathe" by Night Sins - One of my favorites of theirs. The new single has reminded me that I was obsessed with them throughout 2022 and part of 2023. Their music is pretty derivative, in the best way -- many of their songs sound like they were perhaps based on certain classic goth-adjacent songs. This one makes me think of "This Time of Night" by New Order.

L - "Life Itself" by Glass Animals - We first heard this song live in 2016, maybe a week or two after it was released. The show was fantastic. Their second album hadn't come out just yet (let alone "Heat Waves"!) and so nearly all of the songs we heard were from their first album, which I WORE OUT in 2014. But this song made an immediate impression. Somehow everyone in the audience apart from us already knew all the words, lol. I remember hearing everyone sing along and asking Brock, "What is this song and how does everyone know it?" but dancing like an idiot anyway. Eight years later I'm still not tired of it.

A - "Atlas Air" by Massive Attack - I have been trying to convince people that this album (Heligoland) had good songs on it, and I've been using this as a prime example. It's a perfect slow burn at nearly eight minutes long. I love the Middle Eastern influences that echo the subject matter and the explosive payoff of the outro.

C - "Cowgirl" by Underworld - A club classic for a reason! I have other favorite Underworld songs nowadays, but this one always goes over really well on the dance floor. Another excellent slow burn. Such good vibes and everyone loves it. You probably know it from Hackers, lol.

K - "Komboloy" by A-Head - I guess this is an X Marks the Pedwalk side project? I've only ever heard it in clubs in OKC, but it's another one that always gets people on the dance floor. My best friend heard it in my car one time and said the vocalist "woke up and decided to sound like a monster from the Labyrinth." I can't deny it.

C - "Close (to the Edit)" by the Art of Noise - I will die on the hill of referring to this song as EBM, lol. I first heard this on VH1 Classic and mostly remembered it because of the weird video. Heard it at a club in Tulsa a few years ago and was reminded that the song is also super cool. Later I found out it was also huge in '80s breakdancing circles, which is interesting to me with all the car sputtering, chainsaw noises, and the heavier beat.

H - "Happy up Here" by Royksopp - This is what the inside of my head sounds like when I'm staring off into space.

A - "Alive in the Night" by Sacred Skin - I love how danceable this band is, which is why it's funny that this is my second favorite of their songs. It is not danceable. It's like a goth power pop ballad. But the chorus gives me major goosebumps and I'll be damned if I can resist singing along in the car. Has one of my favorite bridges, too!

N - "New Decision" by Manufacture - A new favorite! IT'S SO CATCHY. I want this to be a club hit, but alas, it's 33 years old and that has not happened yet to my knowledge. I only heard it because I heard a couple of songs by this band and decided on a whim to listen to their two albums. Synthpop from the '90s is so tragically overlooked.

T - "True Colours" by Kite - One of my spring 2022 songs which means it's sometimes a little hard to listen to -- I was in the middle of a major crisis at the time, and the song is sad enough as it is. But this is my favorite example of Kite's DENSE synthscapes and brooding vibes. Listen when you're feeling wistful but like in a depressed way, lol.

I - "Iris" by TR/ST - Actually my favorite song by them! Now that I think of it, it's not dissimilar to the last song as it has the really thick-sounding synths, slow pulsating beat, and kind of bittersweet vibe. I WILL attempt to dance to it if I hear it played out (which has happened exactly once) even though it's like 90 bpm.

L - "L'appel du Vide" by Actors - I generally like them, but this song in particular is SO catchy and upbeat despite the darker lyrics. It is always getting stuck in my head. When people ask for examples of good newer post-punk I usually direct them to this song in particular.

L - "Land of Rape and Honey" by Ministry - This is one I've passively liked for a while, but then one of our local DJs started playing it semi-regularly and I remembered it existed and how much I enjoyed it. I've been listening to it a lot this spring. This is slightly on the heavier side of what I would normally listen to, but I adore the mechanical beat and the creatively used string sample. Also I appreciate that it's clearly a dance song and not as rock-oriented as some of the other songs on this album.

Y - "Young" by the Soft Moon - Still really sad about this guy dying. What a loss for the goth/industrial scene. This was one of my very favorites on this album; it really showcased his fusion of the post-punk and industrial genres. The slow, menacing beat is really effective.

I don't usually tag people on these, so if you want to do it then consider yourself tagged!

#(music)

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remmushound · 3 years

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Beyond the bay chapter 8: Home not-quite home

Tags: @brightlotusmoon @scentedcandlecryptid @selfindulgenz @digitl-art-monstr @ilo-artistry

“You’re welcome in our home as long as you need.”

The lair the Splintersons entered in many ways resembled the one they knew. It was big and open, and as clean as one could possibly hope a sewer to be. It wasn’t as cluttered as the lair Leo knew best, and there certainly seemed to be a lot more room and space to stretch out. Graffiti was plentiful, Michelangelo’s style just as abstract and bold as Mikey’s contributions were on the walls back home. Candles were lit on raised shelves to provide a pleasant scent of lavender and spring into the air.

“It’s lovely.” Splinter beamed ear-to-ear as he reached out with his senses to take in everything the living space had to offer. “However did you get it so neat?”

“Donnie thinks it used to be an old survival bunker back before dad found it.” Raphael commented.

“Speaking of which, where is your father?” Splinter asked, “I haven’t seen him in ages and I should like to catch up.”

It was like the very air in the room dropped several degrees, all four Hamato’s stiffening. Raphael clenched his jaw and his fists, while Leonardo and Donatello bunched their shoulders in a similarly tense motion. Splinter frowned and looked to the youngest; Michelangelo’s head ducked so low that only his eyes were peeking over the edge of his plastron.

“He uh…” Raphael started, then immediately stopped when no words that came to mind sounded right.

“He’s taking a nap.” Leonardo assisted, a hand going out to grip Raphael’s; Raphael returned the pressure as he let himself breathe. “He doesn’t like to be disturbed.”

“Of course.” Splinter nodded slowly, tail twitching a sign to his confused sons to not question the situation further. “Us old rats certainly need our rest.”

Splinter laughed. Encouraged by the rats happy noise, Michelangelo slowly peeked his head back out of his shell with a slight giggle and smile. No one seemed to know what to say. The box turtle brothers shouldered their way deeper into the lair to start exploration of the place that would shelter them. Mikey, with Klunk in one arm, went to pluck a lit candle off of a shelf to smell; a sharp rebuttal from Splinter’s tail was all it took to correct and remind him not to touch. He still wanted to stay there to admire the plumes of smoke, but his entourage of older brothers forced him to keep going; not one of them had any plans of leaving their brother to his own devices. Not when his right side was so tight he could hardly move it. That, plus this strange new environment, made the instinct to protect the smallest brother grew to new heights. Slowly, like a herd of lumbering cattle, they made their way deeper into the living room area. Raph couldn’t help but whistle at the sight of the beautiful decor, admiring the fancy couch and neat stitch-work on the hand-made cushions. Donnie was more enraptured by the projection screen than anything else, his eyes like specks of gold in the earth as he approached the machine with eager chirps, only to be met with the same painful reminder from Splinter to not touch.

Raph gave a snort and shook his head before turning his full attention back to his friends, shifting his toothpick to the opposite side of his mouth. Michelangelo remained focused on the small piece of wood, his eyes like pin pricks at the nasty habit. He had figured Raph would eventually grow out of it! Alas, it was not to be, and here Raph was, still chewing on that nasty stick of wood.

“You all really seemed to have eh… buffed up since last we met.” Raph commented, crossing his arms.

“And you got uglier, if that’s possible.” Leonardo snapped back, lips pulling into a devilish grin.

“Leo—” Raphael started to correct, but Raph only laughed a deep, belly laugh.

“You’re just as snappy as ever, I see.” Raph gave Leonardo a smack on the back, which sent the turtle stumbling. Raph winced at his mistake and drew slightly into himself. “Oof. Sorry!”

Leonardo caught himself and laughed it off. Leo shot a glare over to Raph, who only shrugged in a ‘what are you gonna do?’ motion. Leo decided it best not to cause unnecessary conflict, so he shook his head and tried to push the altercation to the back of his mind.

“Come here, little man!” Raph opened an arm and pulled Michelangelo closer, giving him a tight squeeze. He rubbed Michelangelo’s head with his knuckles, almost choking the younger boy as Michelangelo tried to pull himself free of the bicep’s tight grip. Once he had successfully freed himself, Raph crouched down to Michelangelo’s level. “Lemme see ya! You gotten big, kid!”

Michelangelo puffed out his chest and cheeks proudly, putting hands on his hips and glowing under the praise.

“Oh, so he gets to call you little man?” Raphael asked, his voice almost hurt.

“Don’t start a fight, Raphie!” Michelangelo huffed, pointing at Raphael.

“I certainly wouldn’t want to get in a scuff wit’ ya.” Raph commented, and Raphael seemed just as proud of the compliment as Michelangelo had been. “You're as big as my Don now!”

Donnie and Raphael fell back to back with each other, Leonardo and Michelangelo both jumping on the opportunity to judge the height differences. Michelangelo scrambled up Donnie like a jungle gym to get better leverage and a more level view.

“Actually, I think Raph is a little bigger.” Leonardo said, then gave a side glance to Mikey. “What says the jury?”

“I say that’s a very big boi.” Michelangelo nodded and stated matter-a-factly.

“Heh, how’s it feel to be the second tallest, Ding-Don?” Raph smirked, nudging Donnie with his elbow.

Donnie tensed at the elbow to his side, readjusted his glasses, and said, “I don’t know Raph; how’s it feel to be the third tallest?”

Raph blinked. “Shit.”

“Language!” Splinter corrected Raph with a whip of his tail.

“Gee, he really likes doing that.” Leonardo commented, leaning over to whisper to his counterpart.

“You have no idea.” Leo laughed breathlessly, shaking his head.

Michelangelo, meanwhile, had found a new favorite game; Donnie, resigned to being Michelangelo’s plaything, held out his arm so the younger box turtle could swing on it like it was a monkey bar. It didn't cost the tech genius anything more than time, and seeing the little box turtle so happy and laughing made his heart flood with just as much joy. He remembered when Mikey had been like that, so happy to hang on his brothers like they were the most fun game in the lair. Mikey still did it from time to time, but it was different coming from another young box turtle.

Michelangelo swung several more times before he launched himself off of Donnie’s arm, flying through the air and landing perfectly on Leo’s shoulders. Leo flinched at the sudden weight on his shoulders but, when he recognized Michelangelo, he gave a smile and left the turtle to his devices. From there, Michelangelo jumped to Raph, who had been expecting the change and caught the little turtle in one arm. Michelangelo started to climb over Raph like a spidermonkey, giggling the whole time, before he got to Raph’s shoulders and launched himself at Mikey.

Mikey’s immediate instinct was to reach out with his Right arm.

“Mikey, wait—“ Donnie tried to warn.

Mikey caught Michelangelo—and immediately cried out. His arm bulged, veins looking ready to burst at the strain. It took all the focus of his training to not drop Michelangelo outright, instead carefully lowering the younger turtle to the ground before falling against the wall clutching his arm. Klunk scrambled from Mikey’s grip, terrified of the sudden commotion.

“Nnngnnoo, Klunky…”

Donnie was with his brother in seconds, supporting Mikey’s weight while whispering low and urgent to the mutant. Before he realized his feet were moving, Leonardo was there too, helping to calm and stabilize Mikey as the box turtle writhed and cried. He immediately started to guide Mikey and Donnie toward the medbay, and the rest of the mutants followed like lost puppies. They stopped at the threshold of the sterile environment, staring helplessly inside as Leonardo and Donnie guided Mikey to a bed do he could rest.

“Something happened, didn't it?” Leonardo whispered to Donnie, hopefully low enough where Mikey couldn’t hear them.

Donnie gave a weak nod, keeping his voice just as low. “Partial seizure with overall shaking and hypertonic after-effects on his right side.”

“Does your family know?”

Donnie shook his head. “I haven’t told them yet. They know something happened, just not what.”

“Alright.” Leonardo nodded, “What triggered it?”

“I… I don’t know. We've been having a lot more bumps and falls lately. And there was this light…”

“Dudes.” Mikey said finally, his voice weak. “I’m fine. Seriously!”

Leonardo and Donnie exchanged unsure looks before Leonardo turned his attention back to the patient.

“I know you are.” Leonardo said with a bright smile, “But it might help the big softies back there if you let us give you a quick workup.”

Leonardo nodded to the crowd at the doorway, who were all finding their own space to peek in and watch with eyeridges creased in concern. Mikey leaned to get a better view of them, and then fell back into place.

“Okay.” Mikey relented.

“That’s the spirit.” Leonardo nodded, and then stood up so he could better address his eldest brother. “Raph, maybe you should get everyone situated?”

Raphael took the hint with a gruff growl and started to usher everyone away from the doorway to leave the medics and their patient in peace.

“Well eh…” It took Raphael a second to think of a new subject, “Sleeping arrangements! I was thinking your Raph and Mikey could take over my room, Leo and Donnie can share Donatello’s room, and you, sensei, can take Leonardo’s room.”

“Oh, we couldn’t!” Splinter tried to dismiss, “Just a couple blankets and pillows should suffice!”

“Nonsense!” Raphael bellowed, “It’s my house, and I’m gonna treat my guests however I want, and I want you all to be comfortable while you’re staying here! Besides, I can’t let an old man sleep on the floor! Leonardo’s bed’s the most comfortable for… your eh… for your back…”

Raphael trailed off, off-put by the sharp, dark eyes of Splinter. Raph and Leo both covered their mouths with a sharp intake of breath, eyes bulging as they quickly divulged away from Splinter.

“I’m not old.” Splinter said in a tone as if he was daring Raphael to contradict. “I’m fifty-seven. Fifty-seven is not old.”

Raphael’s head started to shrink into his shell and his lips pursed in a pouty face. “Am I in trouble…?”

With a kick of his foot, Splinter caught his sandal in a hand and held it out to Raphael with a knowing look. No more words had to be exchanged for the meaning to get across. Splinter replaced his sandal.

“Well… you should still take the bedrooms!” Michelangelo insisted, “That’a way me and my brothers can have a big ol’ sleepover in my room!”

The box turtle struck a happy pose, one leg in the air and his hands clasped together as he beamed. Splinter took one look at him and sighed; he couldn’t say no to that face.

“Thank you for your generosity.” Splinter gave a bow of his head to Raphael, “I promise you we will leave your home in as well of a shape as we found it.”

“Yeah, it’s no sweat.” Raphael said.

“I’ll have Shelldon sanitize and prepare the rooms.” Donatello declared as he typed a message onto his wristband.

“Who?” Raph asked.

As an answer, a force whizzed by his head, with a voice to match. “BOOYAKASHA!”

“What was that?!” Leo gawked, not sure whether or not it was appropriate to grab his swords.

“That was Shelldon.” Donatello said simply, reaching over to close Leo’s mouth for him.

Raph stared after the drone, shaking his head. “Don’s gonna have a geek-gasm…”

~~~

Donnie’s immediate reaction upon seeing the drone was to geek out, and to then try to contain the excitement when he remembered how easy it would be to harm the drone if he wasn’t careful. Instead of actually touching Shelldon, he found his hands hovering over the drone and his breath hard to catch.

“Say hi, Shelldon.” Donatello urged.

“Heyyy!” Shelldon’s voice carried a familiar, robotic tone that one would expect for artificial life, but it also held a sort of ‘surfer-bro’ charm to it. Donnie certainly melted over it.

“Heh. He’s kinda like your drone, but interactive.” Raph pointed out.

“Yeah…” Donnie breathed, and only once he was able to break from the paralyzed state of his body did he flip his goggles down over his eyes. “Hi… I’m Donnie. Oh gods you’re beautiful…”

“He enjoys scritches behind all nine of his ears, located here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here!” Donatello pointed out all of the audio sensors on Shelldon’s body.

“Ohhh…” Donnie finally brought his hands to two of the pointed-out hot spots, carefully massaging along the sensitive sensors. When Shelldon began to purr, Donnie automatically returned the noise. “This is the greatest day of my life…”

Raph crossed his arms. “Aaaaaaand he’s gone”

~~~

Everything was wrong. Everything was dark and wet and it was hard to breathe, the smallest drip quaking him to his core. All he could smell was putrid filth, and all he could see was black, and all he could hear was the water around him. He was up to his waist in water, thick with grime and waste, and the fumes wafted up to suffocate his nose. The air burned his lungs in the worst possible way, but he had to keep going. He had to find his troop and harvest the mutagen. He had to find his commander and he couldn’t stop until he had new orders to follow. For the republic!

#If you call splinter old #you’re gonna have a bad time #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt au #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #bay turtles #beyond the bay

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amazonworrier · 3 years

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Since you’re such a great writer, what are some of your favorite fics? Would love a list :)

Wow, I read the ‘since you’re such a great writer’ line and immediately assumed this was snarky anon hate haha, but thank you! What a lovely compliment.

I’ll probably get real anon hate for saying this, but I actually really struggle with how a lot of Brittana fics portray Brittany so a lot of the favourite fics that spring to mind don’t involve Brittana, even though that’s what I tend to write... Generally speaking, I just find that people overlook her autonomy as an individual character and write everything soooo much from Santana’s side of the story that Britt ends up feeling like a bit of a mouthpiece for whatever lesson Santana is meant to be learning. Or she just comes across as too dumb, or whatever. If the writing is decent, I’ll read those fics all the way through once anyway (because I’m a sucker for Brittana) but then I usually forget about them after that.

The ones I always go back to are the ones that absolutely nail the characterisation/relationship dynamics we get in the show, then take it to new or interesting places. Sometimes that’s Brittana, sometimes it’s not. Often, it’s Pezberry or Quinntana. I just ship Santana Lopez with happiness, I guess...

Top 5 (Glee):

1. Got You Stuck on My Body (Like a Tattoo) by random_flores - Quinntana.

Seriously, I read this thing more often than I read anything else, fic or otherwise. It’s set slightly after the Quinntana slap then loosely follows s4 canon, all told from Quinn’s perspective. Chaotic Pezberry/Kurcheltana friendship, cute little OCs to keep Quinn company, somehow manages to respect Brittana while making you root for Quinntana. I live in hope it’ll either be updated or we’ll get a sequel from Santana’s POV but alas, it’s several years old now...

2. I Don’t Want to Jump In (Unless this Music’s Thumping) by random_flores - Pezberry

Pezberry future fic where Santana is a famous actress/DJ and she runs into Rachel after a few years of them not talking to each other. Rachel is a broadway star trying to make it big elsewhere, and she’s in an unhappy showmance with a man-child alcoholic. Pezberry excellence, a side of Faberry/Quinntana friendship, Kurt is an all-round legend, 100% respects canon Brittana up until Britt’s move to MIT, and Brittana are still close friends. I simply love everything about this fic. I want to go and re-read it right now, actually.

3. By The Light of the Moon by thefooliam - Brittana

They’re friends but nobody knows they’re friends! It’s a Grey’s Anatomy-esque AU and by thefooliam who wrote one of my favourite fics ever (Clexa) so obviously it’s gonna be good. Britt is a neo-natal surgeon (I think?) and Santana is the cranky paediatric surgeon who works the night shift with her all the time. Nails the characters, super cute, a little bit angsty, a dash of smut. What more could you want?

4. Nothing Stays the Same til The World Ends Series by random_flores - Pezberry.

Is it obvious who my favourite Glee fic author is? Everything they write is magnificent, and I want to be like them when I grow up. This is a two part series. Apocalyptic Pezberry AU. Set roughly from season 2-ish onwards I think. Santana and Rachel get stuck trying to survive together after everyone else dies, and there are zombies (kinda). It’s just beautiful. End of story. I re-read it every time I want to hurt myself a little bit.

5. baby you don’t gotta fight (I’ll be here til the end of time) by therestisconfetti - Brittana.

Remember how I said I didn’t like fics that ignore Brittany’s characterisation/POV? This does the exact opposite, and it does it really well. It’s basically all the moments Britt stood up for Santana that we didn’t see in canon, but probably should’ve. Also, as a side note this author does a heap of great missing-scene-esque Brittana fics, and I appreciate them all. So I’ve linked this one, but highly recommend reading the rest too. They make me feel things.

Bonus - one per ship, for equality:

seen you skip that cautious lip by ratherembarrassing - Pezberry.

Pezberry roommates drabble. It’s just cute/a little smutty. It’s kind of how I imagine canon Pezberry would’ve hooked up if that’d been a thing Glee was ever brave enough to actually do.

I’m just saying by Eggandcheese - Quinntana.

Angsty as hell. Missing Quinntana friendship moments throughout canon, then some additional stuff post them sleeping together after Schue’s not-wedding.

Rhythms by The Fooliam - Brittana.

Probably an obvious one because it’s a Brittana classic. Honestly, I’d re-read it purely for the body-shots scene alone. The rest of it is good too, but man, those body-shots...

#writing things #anon #fic recs #brittana #quinntana #pezberry

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smutbymia · 4 years

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c-can you write a haechan smut where he tortues y/n in public or something like that? btw i LOVED your mark ff it's one of my favorites i read so far and let me tell you i read a LOT. love you work!!

“Haechan, this doesn’t seem like a good idea,” you whined. Your boyfriend was excitedly lacing up his shoes as you stood by the front door waiting. You had a lot of things to do now that the weekend had finally rolled around and the last thing you needed was for Haechan to come up with any wild ideas but alas, here you were.

You wriggled around, feeling the cool metal of the vibrator he had asked you to wear, rub against your clit. The sensation alone was already causing knots to form in your stomach.

“Hey, we had a deal. Don’t tell me you’re too scared to go through with it...” he taunted. He was right. You guys had made a stupid bet earlier that week over the plotwist in a drama you had been watching together. Haechan barely seemed to pay attention to the sappy show but still somehow managed to predict the season finale. You weren’t sure what pissed you off more, the fact that you had lost the bet or the fact that the ending of your favourite show was so much different than what you had hoped for.

You sighed deeply. Probably both. “Hurry up, I have a lot to do,” you groaned. Haechan smiled up at you as he finished up with his shoes before standing up again and planting a kiss on your forehead.

“This is going to be so much fun,” he sang. “Yeah, for you maybe!” you grumbled as the two of you stepped out of the door into the hallway of your apartment. As expected, Haechan couldn’t wait to get started. He had both arms shoved into the pockets of his denim jacket as you entered the empty elevator and the second the doors closed you stumbled back against the wall as you felt the vibrator spring to life, buzzing silently against your clit. You let out breathy moans, trying your best to act normal because of the camera that was placed in the corner, directly across from you.

Haechans eyes twinkled with excitement as he smiled at you from the other side of the elevator. You met his gaze with an angry yet equally sultry look. “H-haechan, could you seriously not wait until we got out of here?” you snapped at him, trying your hardest to hold back your moans.

You let out a loud gasp as you felt the intensity of the vibrations increase — forcing you to hold on to the wall as you clenched your legs together. “Baby, you should really watch your tone when you speak to me,” he warned as his eyes narrowed at you. You were whining softly in the corner as you dropped your head down away from the view of the camera and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to find the strength to power through the stimulation. You finally reached the ground floor and before the doors could slide open, the buzzing stopped.

You were still gasping softly for air when you felt Haechan rope his fingers between yours, before stepping out of the elevator into the lobby and waving to the concierge on your way out, as if nothing had happened at all. All you could do was hold onto his hand and lean into his arm, trying your best not to lose your footing as you kept up with him, already feeling weak. This is going to be a long day, you thought to yourself. And you were right.

The entire duration of the car ride consisted of you leaning back in the front seat, moaning over the sound of the radio. Thank God you had tinted windows because there was no way other drivers wouldn’t have noticed you writhing around in ecstasy. “Haechannnn,” you whined as you pulled into a parking space outside of the grocery store. Your boyfriend had the most mischievous look on his face as he clicked away at the settings on the mini remote control that he had in his hand. He drew your face towards his. You couldn’t help it. As frustrated as you were, you were turned on beyond belief.

You dove into the kiss, moaning into his mouth as you slipped your tongue right past his lips. You were devouring his face and began to groan as he slowly started pulling away. “Holy shit, y/n... slow down,” he laughed. You had lifted yourself up off your seat and were halfway into haechan’s as you tried to bridge the gap between your bodies. The vibrator still buzzed at your core, and you couldn’t take it.

“I-I’m going to c-cum,” you stuttered in the passenger seat. You turned to Haechan hoping for some sort of empathy but he didn’t even reach out to kiss you or touch you again. Instead he sat back, watching you. “Alright, come for me, right...” he bagan as he fumbled around with the remote before turning it up onto the highest setting, “...now.”

You let out a sound that was a mixture between a moan and a scream as your orgasm hit you. Your hands gripped at your crotch over your jeans as you squeezed yourself through the fabric, clenching your legs. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK,” you swore as you felt the wetness seep out of you as Haechan watched. His mouth hung slightly open and you could see the growing erection in his pants as he reached out and palmed himself gently, watching over you as your body shook next to him. He was enjoying the show far too much. Tears started to pool in your eyes as you pleaded with him to turn off the device, and he finally did... clicking the off button as you collapsed back against the seat, drawing in heavy breaths as your eyes fell shut.

You felt Haechan sprinkle soft kisses on your head as he whispered. “Good girl... you lasted so long,” he cooed as he brushed the back of his hand against your cheek. Your eyes fluttered open to find him hovering dangerously close. “Keep it up and I promise that once we get home I will fuck you so well that you won’t even be able to walk afterwards,” he seethed as he squeezed himself through his jeans. You whimpered at his words as your legs clenched again.

Haechans expression changed almost immediately, catching you off guard and scaring you a bit. “Okay, lets go in. We ran out of eggs by the way so let’s get those first before we forget,” he said casually as he opened up the door and hopped out of the car.

You sat in the passenger seat staring out the window after him with wide eyes, completely in disbelief at the change in his demeanor before clambering out after him. How the fuck was he acting so normal?

The shopping trip was short and sweet. It seemed the both of you were growing impatient after Haechans little comment and were eager to head back home. Haechan was a bit more generous this time. There were lots of people around the store so he refrained from torturing you too much — but of course he didn’t stop completely.

Whenever the two of you would end up in a more deserted aisle in a less populated area of the store he would switch on the vibrator again watching as you gripped the shopping cart tightly between your hands, whimpering quietly. You were so glad you had worn a longer cardigan and dark pants because you were almost certain that you had soaked yourself at this point. You stood in an isle as you looked for new cutlery to purchase when you felt the familiar buzzing return. Haechan stood directly behind you this time, wrapping his arms around you and dropping his head down to whisper in your ear as you let out soft moans.

“You look so sexy right now,” he cooed. Your cheeks had been permanently stained a soft pink colour since you had entered the store because of your arousal. Your lips were also plump and bruised red from all the biting you had done to hold in your moans. Haechan dropped kisses down your neck. “I want you to cum for me again right here,” he ordered. You shifted your gaze to either end of the aisle to make sure no one was around. If anyone did pass by, the two of you would look like any other young couple romantically shopping. “H-haechan—“ you began to protest before you felt the buzzing increase once more to its maximum setting

“Oh... OH” you gasped as your body fell backwards into your boyfriends arms as another orgasm rolled through you. You could do nothing but clench your legs and let out deep breaths in order to refrain from causing a scene. This time you could really feel the wetness pooling between your legs as you regained your composure and tugged at your sweater, hoping it was covering you up enough.

Haechan stood back and giggled a bit as he watched you frantically attempt to compose yourself before you continued to push the shopping cart towards the front of the store in a huff. Haechan drew you into his side and planted a kiss on your cheek before whispering “sorry, couldn’t help it. Let’s get out of here though, I need to be inside of you as soon as possible.”

You had cashed out in record time and decided to abandon all the other errands you planned for the day. Haechan’s little game had completely thrown you off of your routine. Even though you had already cum two times already, you didn’t feel like you could function properly until you had every inch of your boyfriend buried inside of you. The thought alone was driving you insane as you rushed out of the car with a bag of groceries in hand. You greeted the concierge once more as you waited for the elevator.

Once it arrived you both entered and once again you felt the vibrator spring to life. You leaned back against the wall again as the doors began to slide shut, just as a hand interrupted its action — sending the doors opening up again. Haechan shot you a surprised look as someone entered the elevator with you. “Sorry!” they said. It was one of your neighbours, an older woman who lived a couple floors below you. You thought haechan would have stopped the device but you met his gaze once more as he shot you a wink and turned up the setting. You let out a soft whimper as your neighbour looked over at you concerned.

“Oh, is everything okay?” she asked as she watched a bead of sweat slide down the side of your forehead as you let out shallow breaths. You nodded, trying your best to hold it together. “Y-yeah, just not feeling too great,” you stammered.

You felt the vibrators intensity increase as you let out a full on groan. “Ah— gosh, I have a MASSIVE headache,” you lied as your neighbour went wide eyed once more. “You look like you’re burning up. You may have a fever. Make sure you take something right away!” she advised as the door dinged open on her floor. You couldn’t even respond, simply nodding your head.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her!” said haechan as the elevator shut once more, leaving only the two of you inside. You reached your floor a few seconds later, as the buzzing continued. Haechan had refused to turn the device off as you were in the final stretch.

The seocnd you had unlocked the door and entered the apartment you had dropped the bag of groceries and kicked off your shoes, dragging Haechan by his collar into the room in a rage.

“You asshole —“ you muttered as you weaved through the hall towards your bedroom. Haechan giggled as he trailed behind you. Once you had shut the door behind you, you had pulled your pants down, letting the vibrator fall to the floor, buzzing against the hardwood. Haechan had begun undressing himself too as you pushed him backwards onto the bed, climbing into his lap and immediately positioning him at your entrance.

You slipped his entire cock right into your dripping hole as you let out a sweet soft moan. “Fuck, I’ve been dying to ride you for hours,” you groaned as you rotated your hips in circles, as your clit dragged against his abdomen. Haechan dropped his head back as he allowed you to use him for your own pleasure. Your knees began to go weak as you felt your orgasm approaching. Haechan leaned up flipping you over to be on top as he spread your legs before burying himself into you again. He dropped kisses down your neck and suckled at the flesh as you lay there motionless in complete bliss, savouring the feeling of him slipping against your wells.

“Fuck, you’re going to make me come again,” you whimpered in his ear. He drew your mouth in for a kiss as he pulled at one of your legs, forcing it up higher to rest around his waist as he pistoned his hips forward, slapping against your flesh and hitting the deepest parts of your core. You moaned into eachother’s mouths as you felt his hips jerk, releasing spurts of warmth into you. Your orgasm hit you just as you felt his cum begin to seep out of you and he continued to thrust himself against your body as you both rode out your high. He collapsed against you soon after, still remaining inside you as your insides contracted and you felt him begin to go soft — leaving only the sound of the buzzing vibrator on the floor and your deep breaths to fill the silence of your bedroom.

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blairwaldcrf · 3 years

Text

if you know me, no you don’t - dan/nate 2k

Summary: dan/nate alternate to episode 4x02 from Nate's perspective for @bisexualdanhumphrey

Comment and read here on Ao3

Notes: we're pretending here that dan hasn't told lily/rufus yet thanks

-------------------------

Nate Archibald, for better or worse, knew Chuck Bass better than few people on the Upper East Side ever would or could. (Or, especially after the spring, wanted to). This is why he isn’t surprised when the not so little black book contains the contact info of more than females. What does surprise Nate is that he’s almost tempted to use them. He doesn’t. Gossip Girl is always watching, after all. But it tempts him, and the fact he’s tempted at all makes him have more than two girls over one night ala a foursome that tires him out for more than a day.

But being tired doesn’t fix things any more than trying to dry his hair without an expensive blow dryer. So, one night after he finishes his routine call with Dan in a bar outside of the city and on the outskirts of Chuck’s usual haunts where he’s sure he can get away with it, he hooks up with a handsome brunette.

Nate pretends he isn’t nervous as they kiss, and indeed kissing does help the usual process begin anyway, but Victor-- at least filed under said name in the book-- gives him a smile as he pulls away. “We don’t have to do anything, you know.”

Maybe it’s the permission to just be that makes him finally give in, but within less than a full minute of saying a finally confident “I want to.” they’re in bed and the broken ice lends itself into something much, much hotter.

Nate had expected things to be both more simple and fast than they were. While he was good enough at foreplay with women, he’d been told it was required by Victor in instances like this. Not that he’s complaining, but it does happen to relate to the fact that he feels more comfortable staying in the bed for a moment in the afterglow of the climax

“I’m not gay, you know.” Nate says slowly, staring at the ceiling. “Not that there’s anything wrong with-- I just mean I really enjoy sex with women and--,”

“Do you think your friend is gay?” Victor asks, an odd expression on his face.

“Chuck?” Nate laughs. “God, no. He’s just-- I mean he’s just Chuck. Pleasure-seeking doesn’t exactly have limits with him.”

Looking for an answer he can’t seem to find, Victor shrugs. “Maybe you’re just seeking pleasure too.”

Confusion is key to Serena Vanderwoodsen breakups, so who was he to say Victor is wrong? Hadn’t he already upped his body count by well more than a dozen in said name of pleasure seeking? According to Serena’s brother Eric, gaydar was a thing and both he and Victor would know well more than Nate about this.

Lamely, he tries to agree. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s it. Just trying things out.”

Victor gives him a discerning look that makes Nate jump out of bed in a way he pretended was nonchalant. Nate gives the same easy laugh and pretty smile he gave to all the people who try to claim he’s deeper than a pretty face and left the building feeling more brooding than he had before entering. A little bitterly, he had notes he hadn’t even made it through the alphabet in Chuck’s book and was already a different person like Chuck had unknowingly promised.

-----------

Juliet Sharp comes as a happy surprise to Nate, an interruption to the increasing craziness he had gotten himself into by worrying too much about his own sexuality. Hard to get like Blair, a coy smile like Serena, and an interesting twist of not being a part of the Gossip Girl elite like usual. When in doubt, let a bossy woman figure it out.

The problem, it turns out, is that she wants to take Dan out from the running for Serena’s heart and while Nate had to admit it would serve Dan a little right after the kiss he doesn’t want to do it. Not really. Still, he lets himself listen to her as easy as if he was listening to Blair back at St. Jude’s. Things are simpler that way, aren’t they? If loving someone as free and accepting as Serena had gotten him cheated on with someone like Dan who knew his own purpose in life so easily, fuck it. Maybe meddling would help.

Seeing Dan is much different than talking on the phone, though. Especially with the singing the Brooklyn guy must take after his mother for. While Dan is no lyricist when it comes to lullabies it seems, he is quite possibly the most adorable thing Nate had seen in awhile and he laughs in a free and familiar way that surprised him after a summer of escaping all family and friends.

Offered Milo, Nate panics. Is he supposed to know what to do with an actual baby? Is he holding him correctly? Sure, he had been around infant cousins before, but those were ones taken care of by nannies just like he was. How was Dan doing this, Georgina? Did that crazy woman even have a maternal bone in her body?

When Juliet takes Milo and Nate gets the chance to be alone with Dan for the first time since they shared a living space, it’s now there. That horribly familiar tug that made Nate nervous every time he felt it. Once upon a time he had felt it when trying desperately not to love Serena the almost entirety of being with Blair, and also now, faced with the one person who had been the ruin of him and Serena in the first place.

After living with Dan he knows things about the “lonely boy” one might miss. That he always wore plaid when he was especially stressed, as if it was a comfort blanket after years in Brooklyn. That if you unplugged his laptop from his charger for any reason he would immediately be angry that it might die and unsave his already thrice saved writing. That he especially hated the Italian place on the corner of his actual favorite spot because they had been racist to Vanessa. That he would normally have dark circles under his eyes after writing too long through the night on black coffee.

Most of all, he notices that all those things are currently at odds, unplugged charger and all, and that Dan was drowning in the midst of Nate thinking that his newly activated sex life was demanding.

“Are you okay?” he asks, knowing the answer. “I mean--,”

“Oh, this?” Dan laughs sarcastically now that Juliet is out of sight. “Absolutely not. But you know, what other choice do I have?”

“Tell your dad and Lily like I said.” Nate repeats, trying to give the good advice no one ever took him seriously for. Then, with a charming smile: “Afford a babysitter, or even a maid, every now and then.”

“Thanks,” is the flat response, but Dan’s lips had fought a smile for a second.

Nate smiles further, pulling the same response out of Dan slowly but surely. “Come on, man. You should know after years of Gossip Girl secrets always add badly. Especially the ones involving Georgina of all people.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dan nods, sounding so tired. “But right now I can live in my bubble where I just take care of Milo and have Georgina barking orders at me and no one else can tell me what a mess I’ve made.”

“Did that sound already as bad to you as it did to me out loud?” Nate asks.

Dan did laugh this time. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I mean Milo isn’t the mess, don’t get me wrong, it’s just I didn’t exactly envision this as my life. I was at least supposed to finish my second year of college.”

“I know.” Nate said, and he did. Because while Dan had the privilege of connections to so much wealth and ease of life, he’d never take them anymore than Nate would want to. They both had the same pride and respect for work each other did, Nate admits, it was just that Dan followed through while Nate tended to flounder.

“Have you spoken to Serena?”

Looking surprised at the mention of the name, Dan shakes his head. “We haven’t talked all summer, she’s doing her Paris thing and I didn’t want her to hear Milo in the background. Why? Did she talk to you?”

“No,” Nate says. He’d hoped the one thing that had always kept them at odds would still be available to push him further yet again. “No, she didn’t. I just wondered. Gossip Girl said she was coming back to go to Columbia.”

“Oh wow.” Dan considers, looking less hurt than the guy who had kissed said girl should have. “That’s-- I don’t know, that’s weird. Shouldn’t she have said something to either of us?”

Nate shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s Serena.”

With an agreeing nod, Dan answers Juliet’s call for yet another diaper change-- how often did babies really need to be changed?-- and the all too pretty girl came in to see him spy on Dan’s phone and spot the text from Serena.

For Serena and I, he tells himself as he lets Juliet begin a Blair-worthy scheme, but reality has never let him lie to himself for long.

The moment he sees Vanessa cuddle up to Dan like they’re married and Milo is their perfect newborn baby, he can’t help but stop pretending. As observant as Juliet is, she doesn’t know Nate, not really. All she can see is an archetype that she wants to believe in after knowing him for less than even a week. It’s all too easy to let her and pretend that his brooding glare at them is nothing more than anger at Dan for Serena, at least until Juliet’s lie involves Vanessa being shoved at Dan. Telling Juliet to stop, that he isn’t willing that will break hearts isn’t a lie.

… But maybe it was easier to pretend he was having a noble change of heart than to admit how completely jealous he didn't want to be.

So when Juliet says that Vanessa and Dan had been a great couple, Nate forces himself to admit that of all the former couples on the Upper East Side-- or ones by extension-- Dan and Vanessa had always made the most sense. Grounded Brooklyn loner thing aside, she still had more in common with him than Nate could ever hope to, so if Juliet thought Dan could be happier with her then who was he to stop them?

--------------

When Dan texts him I know what you told Vanessa, he leaves Juliet waiting without a thought. On the limo ride over, all he can think is how to explain things, what to say, anything to try and figure out how he absolutely could tell Dan that he was sorry without explaining the true reason he did things. Serena, he reminded himself. Just use Serena.

“Let me explain,” he opens with to Dan the second he enters the apartment and can see Dan’s characteristically judging glare, trying, “You two spent the whole day alone together and seemed like you were connecting--,”

“We weren’t alone, we were with you and Juliet.” Dan argues in a whisper.

“Why are we whispering?”

“Milo is sleeping for once. Why did you lie about me?”

Nate tries not to let his stomach drop as he directly asks. “Was it a lie?”

Surely he didn’t have to go through this again, right? Nate has tried desperately to sleep through Manhattan and still have good karma-- his expenses on every one night stand’s breakfast proved so in his opinion-- but here he is, dreading the one word that Dan says next.

“Is this about Serena?” Dan asks, looking confused. “It is, isn’t it.”

“I wouldn’t have even said anything if you hadn’t lied about getting that text from her!” Nate sidesteps.

Dan blinks at him, brow furrowed. “What text?”

“I-- When was the last time you checked your phone?”

God, everyone is right. I am an idiot. Nate thinks harshly at himself. Of course Dan hadn’t done literally anything normal when he was so wrapped up in Milo, takeout, and the disturbing Georgina.

With a glare, Dan snaps, “Obviously not as recently as you have.”

“I’m sorry, Dan. I saw the text and I--,”

Rolling his eyes and putting his phone back in his pocket, Dan sighs. “You’re sorry. I know.”

“Honestly, I don’t even know how I feel about Serena, I just--,” Nate fumbles, still feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

“You don’t have to say it.”

The forgiveness is so ready and kind that Nate has to admit he’s a little taken aback. He isn’t sure when he and Dan had reached that point, the kind where the tension of competition could ease back into friendship. Once Nate had thought he had that with Chuck before he’d really taken a look at who his friend had become. Even then, though, the tension had never been quite the same. “I think I do. You’ve been there for me through all of last year, and--,”

“And I kissed Serena when you two were dating. I honestly probably deserved something.” Dan offers. “Look, if anyone understands the craziness involved with having feelings for her it’s me.”

“That’s not what it was about.” Nate huffs before catching himself, unable to take back the words now they’re in the air. He’d been so frustrated with the situation, with his life, with who he was both becoming yet wanted to be that he had slipped. “I mean--,”

“What was it then, Georgina?”

“No, of course not!”

“Then what, Nate?”

Dan’s brow is furrowed in the way he doesn’t realize is attractive, and in the midst of the quiet argument they had become closer in the necessity of hearing each other, but still not close enough to bridge the gap Nate is terrified of. Praying that Milo wakes up doesn’t work, and he’s worried that if he walks out now it will seem like even more of a big thing than he wants to pretend it isn’t.

A charming smile won’t work this time. Even as he tries the casual shrug, he can see Dan begin to give a condescending glare to try and pull the truth out. Nate sighs and looks at the ceiling. “Can we just pretend I said nothing and I’ll owe you a favor?”

“Do I look like Blair Waldorf?” Dan scoffs. “Nate, whatever it is just tell me. Nothing’s going to be crazier than finding out Georgina and I made a child together.”

“Wanna bet?” Nate half-laughs.

The confusion dramatically turns to concern at that, and before the brunette could think he had another horrible secret hanging over him, Nate throws it all to hell and kisses him. It isn’t like he expects Dan to kiss back, it’s just the easiest way to explain something that felt impossible to-- well, explain.

Dan does pull back expectedly looking shocked, but he hasn’t completely pulled away from Nate’s orbit who’s a little intoxicated by that detail. “Nate... I��m pretty sure I’m not in Chuck’s book either.”

“Not quite.” Nate manages to get out, having to clear his throat a bit to even do so, nerves about to murder him. “Also, before you try and say it again, this isn’t about Serena.”

“I think I know you better than that.” Dan says softly, nodding. “And I know you well enough to know you’re too good at being a chameleon to your surroundings. I just didn’t know--,”

“This?” Nate offers. “Yeah, me either.”

Nodding, Dan pauses the conversation, eyes lowering with consideration. For a moment Nate thinks he might initiate another kiss but he doesn’t, instead asking quizzically, “Why me?”

“Because you’re the kind of man who would drop everything he wanted in life just to take care of a child you never expected.” Nate replies maybe too easily, gesturing around the messy apartment. “Because even the Upper East Side couldn’t change that when it really came down to it, you were a good person. You care about people and you prove it.”

“Nothing about my charming good looks?” Dan replies with a rather large smile and a casual shrug that Nate hadn’t quite realized he’d learned from him over the years.

Now Nate can’t help but laugh in return, only half hating the fact that he still hasn’t heard anything in response as long as they have this. “Come on, seriously--,”

“I guess we can try serious.” Dan says smoothly, and then they’re kissing again.

For once Nate isn’t afraid he’ll be considered just another pretty face to boss around.

#dan x nate #nate x dan #nate archibald #dan humphrey #danate #gossip girl #dan x nate fic #gossip girl fic #does it count as gg fic in 2021 if it's gay?#asking pls send help #all because of milo hours #i had to watch episodes for this lol #so yall better appreciate me and go comment on my fic

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ficsandcatsandficsandcats · 4 years

Note

So i know how you love writing for Valdo Marx, and I'm fond of him now as well, and not just cuz he's basically robert sheehan.... anyway...hahaha! how bout a plus size reader x jaskier, either already together or not up to you, and then Valdo is there somewhere. And maybe a bit of feral!jaskier! Thank you as always dear heart hope you're well! 💙💚💙

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x Plus Size ReaderWord Count: 2,941Rating: TTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract @your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan @mycat-is-mylove @amirahiddleston a/n: Hello dearest. This went in a direction I was not expecting. I hope that you’re ok with how it went. I had fun writing it and hopefully reading it will be enjoyable too.

“Take me through this plan one more time,” Geralt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s a very simple plan, Geralt. I’m going to escort Y/N to the dance tonight as her wingman, no one we find will be good enough for her because no one on this earth is, I will dance and sing to her and woo her and by the end of the night I will give my big speech about no one being worthy of her but I love her deeply and truly and will spend the rest of my life endeavoring to prove it and she will fall into my arms and the rest is none of your business you cheeky devil,” Jaskier recited. His head was tilted back against the window he perched on, pale blue eyes gazing at the ceiling as if he were watching the scene play out.

“What if she finds someone she fancies,” Geralt asked.

“What?”

Geralt didn’t repeat himself, he just leveled Jaskier with a Look. Jaskier thought over Geralt’s words for a moment, apparently not considering this possible flaw in his plan before now, and then shook his head.

“No, Geralt, don’t be silly. We’ve been traveling with Y/N for months now and no one has even so much as caught her attention a little bit. That’s certainly not going to change now.”

—–

You had to make a change and you had to do it now.

You’d spent months pining after Jaskier, unable to summon the courage to tell him and finding no signs of interest from him. You knew that you could try and force yourself to share those feelings and potentially ruin the friendship, or you could try and move on. The dance seemed the perfect chance and when Jaskier volunteered to help find you a match, well, that was all the answer you needed. You usually dressed to blend in, years of training put into hiding your body or minimizing yourself in any way you could. Tonight, you chose to stand out. First because if you were going to find a new partner you would not waste your time on someone who didn’t see and want all of you. Second because you were feeling a little bold and excited by your choice to pursue someone. The benefit of traveling was that if things went horribly wrong you could just leave the next morning and never return. You hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but the knowledge it could helped bolster your courage. It was gratifying when you saw Jaskier go speechless, mouth agape and sky-blue eyes wider than you’d ever seen them, as you stepped out in the vibrant, emerald green dress. Your hair was plaited back in a simple but attractive way, framing your face in a way that enhanced your looks but did not try to hide its roundness.

“This’ll do then?” you asked teasingly as Jaskier stared at you until Geralt finally thwacked him in the arm to help bring him back to his senses.

“You look absolutely… Geralt I’ve forgotten words oh gods they are my whole livelihood…”

“Don’t be dramatic,” you laughed, blushing a little under his gaze.

“If you don’t take her arm I will,” Geralt hissed to Jaskier, eager to get the evening underway and over with. That snapped Jaskier out of it and he nearly leapt across the room to your side, taking your hand with unparalleled reverence.

“Here’s hoping someone else at court feels the same,” you said. Geralt watched Jaskier’s face freeze, a glimmer of fierce panic in his eyes before he recovered and offered you a smile.

This would be a long night.

—–

Valdo Marx had come to the ball for one reason and one reason alone – spite.

True he had been one of the first to receive an invitation but it was to attend, not perform, a slight he would not forget or forgive anytime soon. He had come to drink their wine and eat their food and scoff at their doubtless subpar performers. He hadn’t come with carousing in mind though he saw flickers of interest in the eyes of many he passed. He couldn’t blame them. He was aware of his effect on people, especially when he looked as resplendent as he did tonight in his black and burgundy attire. His curls were artfully disheveled and he’d smeared just a bit of kohl around his eyes to further emphasize them, not that they needed it. He’d trimmed his mustache and goatee and applied a tasteful amount of patchouli cologne to his neck and wrists. Still, it was all for himself and to know that he had appeared and provided the quality appearance that one could expect from Valdo Marx, even if all he had planned was some smirking and sipping of wine.

And then he saw you.

Valdo’s plans immediately pivoted. He moved from his haughty lounging to standing straight up, pressing out the wrinkles in his doublet and then setting down his goblet as he made his way to you. His eyes never strayed though yours surveyed the hall and he was vaguely aware that you were talking to someone. He didn’t look at their face, briefly taking in the quality cut of their black and cerulean lined attire with an appreciative glance, but when his eyes flicked back to your face it was inclined by the other and he stopped walking.

Jaskier.

Of course fucking Jaskier de Lettenhove, golden boy of Redania, would walk in with the loveliest creature tonight. No matter, Valdo told himself, taking up the chase again even as Jaskier led you onto the dancefloor. You may have arrived with Jaskier, but you would be leaving with him.

—–

“Jaskier if I dance with you all night I won’t find anyone,” you protested, though a traitorous part of yourself that wasn’t as easily swayed loved the feeling of his hand in yours and the way the oceanic eyes never left your face as he led you around the dancefloor.

“You’re right,” Jaskier said, though he kept a tight grip on your hand, “After this dance as ended I shall seek out some good company for you.”

You forced a smile. You’d secretly hoped he may say no, that he wanted to be your only dance partner, but you knew this was just a fantasy and if he really did do it you’d rankle at the unearned possessiveness. Still, you were a simple woman, and you wanted to feel wanted even if just for a moment. After the dance Jaskier did as promised, guiding you off of the floor and setting you up with a goblet of wine before heading out into the fray where he would circle a few times and then return to you. He would take the opportunity to check on Geralt who was where he usually sat during parties, alone and as far away from others as he could with refreshments.

You watched Jaskier’s retreating back and tried not to pout as you worked at finding that vigor you had earlier to find someone.

“It is too early for you to be here,” a voice in an accent you couldn’t immediately placed said. You turned to see a man standing nearby, leaning his long frame against a column and smiling at you with eyes that matched your gown.

“Pardon?” you asked, your heart skipping a beat as his mouth curled into a smile.

“Persephone is supposed to stay with Hades until spring, but here we still have a whole winter’s month left and yet you stand before us,” he replied in a voice that was so low it was nearly a purr. He spoke the words quietly as though it were a secret. As though he truly had spied a goddess out of place and was trying to coax her back before the other mortals caught on. You laughed and moved closer.

“Let me guess, you fancy yourself Hades?” you teased, the courage you’d lost coming back to you.

“Alas it seems I do not have that honor. But I shall let you cast me in the roll you see fit for me to play,” he answered smoothly. You stared at him thoughtfully as the bottle green eyes boldly, but not lecherously, swept the length of your body. You felt seen by this man in a way you hadn’t in some time. It scared you. You liked it.

“Eros,” you replied. He laughed, caught off-guard but delighted by your response.

“Indeed?” he said, “Oh you must tell me your justification.”

“You look the sort to tempt maidens in all kinds of trouble,” you answered, taking a sip of wine. His eyes fell to you lips as you licked a drop from the rim of the goblet and you knew he was wondering how the wine would taste if he kissed it from your lips.

“Tempting makes it sound like there’s some sort of coercion. I guarantee every maiden I’ve met was an eager devotee of my temple, love,” he replied, raising a hand using his slender, soft fingers to brush a lock of hair out of your face. He glanced up, something catching his attention, and his lovely features grew a little bit fiercer and more wicked and fool that you were, you only found yourself more enticed.

—–

“Geralt you were worried about nothing,” Jaskier insisted, though he addressed himself more than his friend who stared ahead with an expression that was a cross between bemusement and foreboding.

“Indeed,” Geralt said.

“Yes! We have had some lovely danced together and I left her with wine. Her favorite kind, I’ll have you know,” Jaskier insisted.

“And Valdo Marx was a part of your plan?” Geralt asked, eyes still gazing ahead. Jaskier scoffed and glanced to where Geralt look, opening his mouth to offer some witty retort but then he did a doubletake. You were standing inches away from Valdo whose eyes caught Jaskier’s. He looked delighted at the ashen pallor Jaskier’s face took. The color soon returned with vigor and before Geralt could rise from the table, Jaskier was halfway across the floor.

—–

“Y/N,” Jaskier said, appearing at your side so suddenly you squeaked in surprise.

“Jaskier!” you exclaimed, “Good gods where did you come from?”

“Hades,” Valdo murmured.

“I just saw you talking with an old acquaintance and wanted to ensure that you were properly introduced,” Jaskier said coolly, his words directed at Valdo more than you.

“Allow me,” Valdo said, interjecting quickly, “Valdo Marx, bard of Cidaris.”

He took your hand and raised it to his lips though Jaskier looked at him as though he may physically tear his lips from his face if they touched any part of you. You looked between the two of them confused.

“Wait, you’re Valdo Marx? Oh Jaskier he’s nowhere near as odious looking as you said. Quite the opposite in fact,” you said. Valdo shot Jaskier a squinty glare which was duly returned.

“And Valdo, I know some things you’ve said about Jaskier which were equally false. And things you’ve done. Did you know that your little stunt of spreading that lie about Jaskier and the pox cost him a job which cost us the chance at staying in an inn one night?” you asked, jabbing your finger in his chest.

“If I had any idea that you were with him I never would have done such a thing,” he replied emphatically.

“Y/N come, let’s have a dance,” Jaskier said, taking one of your hands.

“Allow me to explain myself further,” Valdo implored, taking the one you had pressed against his ribcage, “I promise I’m not as bad as I’ve seemed. Or acted. And in some ways I can get so much worse.”

His eyes glinted with a promise that made your stomach flip and Jaskier’s insides burn. He roughly pulled you next to him, his hand moving to wrap a more possessive arm around your waist.

“Y/N came with me,” he snarled at Valdo.

“She’s leaving with me.” Valdo snarled back.

“If you’re quit done fighting over me like two dogs with one bone I have something to say,” you interjected, though a part of yourself you weren’t proud of enjoyed watching these men inch ever closer to a physical altercation over you. They looked at you expectantly though whenever their eyes caught each other’s they squinted into a glower.

“Jaskier I did come with you but it was with the express intent to find someone because gods knows you aren’t interested and it’s not fair of you to try and decide who I speak with now,” you argued. Valdo preened as Jaskier stammered a bit under your glare. This was not going how he expected at all.

“I am,” he said quickly, “Y/N, believe me when I tell you that I am.”

“Oh sure because now Valdo is here and it’s a matter of pride,” you argued.

“No,” he implored take your hand up again with his, the sky blue eyes gazing into yours as they had earlier that day and as you thought about it, as they had many times before though you’d dismissed them as a foolish trick of your own love for him. “Y/N I have loved you since nearly the very day we met. I didn’t know how to tell you or if I should and, I must confess, I thought I had more time.”

“Because you didn’t think another man would be interested?” you asked, hurt plain on your face.

“Gods no, because you didn’t seem interested in others,” he explained.

“Well why would you offer to help me find a partner if you wanted me?” you demanded.

“She raises a good point. A pretty shit plan if I may say so myself. Seems the lady would fare better with a smarter, more direct partner,” Valdo cut in.

“Shut it,” Jaskier bit out fiercely before turning his face back to you, tender once more, “It was, admittedly, a plan that sounded better in theory. I was going to do this whole elaborate speech about no one being worthy of you – myself included – but how much I wanted to try and work at it for as long as you’d let me.”

The sincerity in his eyes and the words you’d wanted to hear for so long brought a tear to your eye. If he had done this five minutes before it would have been the easiest, quickest answer. But he hadn’t, and you found yourself in the unprecedented position of feeling torn between two men. This always sounded exciting and enviable in stories but now that you stood here you just felt frozen.

“Pretty works, Jaskier, perhaps the first you’ve ever spoken. But the fact remains that you have had months to make these feelings known and didn’t whereas I identified her the moment my eyes laid on her as someone I must know. And I didn’t wait for silly games. So I ask you, Y/N, what would you rather have? Someone who goes after what they want when they want it, or someone who plays the long game, taking for granted that you’ll be hanging around waiting for them?” Valdo asked.

“I do love you Jaskier,” you said. You felt Valdo drop your hand gently and you turned to face him, “But.”

The word hung in the air as both men stared at you breathlessly.

“But I cannot deny that I’m drawn to Valdo as well,” you confessed, feeling oddly guilty, “And I know it’s not how it’s supposed to be but… It’s true.”

“Perhaps a sampling,” Valdo suggested.

“What?”

“You spend an evening seeing what Jaskier has to offer and you spend an evening seeing what I can do and you make your decision,” he explained.

“You’re not a platter of meats,” you scoffed. He cocked an eyebrow at you.

“I could be,” he purred. You felt Jaskier’s arm tighten around your waist.

“Unless you’re worried that I would outperform you. Yet again,” Valdo said to Jaskier. Jaskier gave a sharp, humorless bark of laughter.

“Gods no. If anything I think of you and your poor, tender feelings. I fear you would never bring yourself to perform again after being so soundly shown up,” Jaskier sneered.

It wasn’t ladylike or right or moral but you had an idea. A scandalous, daring, wicked idea. Then again, you reasoned with yourself, men did it all the time.

“Perhaps this can be settled,” you said. Again two pairs of eyes landed on you, blazing green and cool blue. “Perhaps…”

“A fuck off?” Jaskier offered. Valdo rolled his eyes at the vulgarity but you brightened and nodded, grateful someone had spared you saying it. “Well I have no reason to fear it.”

He looked at Valdo challengingly and your heart pounded in your throat. The man looked back at you and as his eyes slowly scanned your body again you felt Jaskier’s grip tighten so hard it would likely leave marks. The idea thrilled you.

“Name the time and place,” Valdo said, “It will be an unequivocal pleasure showing you up yet again.”

—–

Geralt watched the three of you walk away, Jaskier’s arm around your waist and Valdo taking up your free hand. He debated with himself for a full five minutes about whether or not he should follow. If what was happening what he thought was happening, he didn’t want to be anywhere near it. Then again, there was an even chance that it would end in attempted murder. He took a long pull from his ale and shook his head. You could handle yourself.

#Jaskier x Reader #Valdo x Reader #Jaskier x Reader x Valdo #jaskier imagines #valdo imagines #Plus Size Reader #Jaskier x Plus Size Reader #Valdo x Plus Size Reader

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jawritter · 4 years

Text

A Thousand Years...

Chapter 5

Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave. How can I love when I’m afraid to fall. But watching you stand alone. All of my doubt, suddenly goes away…..

Summary: A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master. – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

A new town, a new job, and a new life, one that you didn’t even expect……

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1878

Warnings will include… Smut, language, unrequited/ requited love, cheating, and possibly more. This is brand new, so I will add to it as I know. Chapters will have warnings of their own if need be….

A/N: So my little cousin was watching breaking dawn in the living room, and I was folding clothes in the guest room… When the credits rolled and this song started, this fic hit me right in the face… I couldn’t escape it...

Fic Based on the Song A Thousand Years, by Christina Perri

Want More? Or need to catch up? Check out my masterlist!

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To say that sleep didn't come easy for you that night was an understatement. When you finally did make your way into your apartment you were so drained and exhausted you couldn't even cry, but by the time you got out of your shower and into your bed all you could do was lay there and stare at the ceiling.

With Jensen's shirt still wrapped around you because it smelled like him, and even though that was wrong as fuck it brought you some comfort right now. You felt like your ex was trying to purposely destroy you, and take everything away from you.

There was so much you didn't understand.

Why was he being such a jackass? Why was he doing everything in his power to try and hurt you, and take everything away from you? Why couldn't he just let you go, let you move on so he could move on? You left town for fucks sakes, it wasn't like you were going to keep the damn car for forever, just until you could afford one. Hell, you even thought about paying the blue book value for the car to him! Why go out and look for a new car when you could just buy this one from him? It was supposed to be a gift to you anyway! So much for that.

Alas, if he wanted the damn car that damn bad they could bury him in the damn thing for all you care because by the time morning hit you were just done with the whole situation. That was the last thing you had of his, now there's nothing else he could take away from you, so he could quite literally rot in hell.

When you called your brother about it this morning he assured you that after he found him and kicked his ass they would work out a way for you to get back and forth to work. The only problem is that you were going to have to call in today, because he didn't get off work until after 8 pm, and your sister-in-law was away on business. So there was no one to take you to and from work today.

An uber was just out of the question. That would be too expensive, to take an uber 45 minutes away from Austin to Dripping Springs. If you had to do that even twice a month you’d never be able to buy a damn car.

If you didn't show up to work today though, you kind of had a feeling that Jensen was going to hunt you down.

Jensen.

That just added a whole other chapter to shit in your life that was confusing as fuck right now.

Why had he tried to kiss you? Did he just want to get in your pants? Was it creepy that he looked at your paperwork to get your phone number and address? I mean you do work for the company, so it's not like the information wouldn't have been there for the takings. So maybe that wasn't all that strange, but still.

Why did he care so damn much about you? In your own opinion, you weren't much to look at, and apparently, your ex held the same opinion. He was married for 10 years now and had three great kids. Money, anything he wanted. Why the hell did he want to kiss you? Why was he so invested in getting to know you?

Should you just walk away? Find another job closer to home? Even though you really couldn't afford to do that right now, and you did like working at the brewery... What if Danneel caught him doing that? What would she do to you? You would lose your job for sure, but is that the least she would do?

Just like that, a knock on your door brought you out of your self-loathing and confused mental rambling.

Normally you would have just yelled "It's open", but now there was a third person thrown into the mix of people that knew where you lived, and you didn't know how wise it would be to just yell that at random strangers on the other side of the door anyway.

Cracking the door you peak out of it and see Jensen standing there in a ballcap, looking around him like he was waiting on someone to jump out from around the corner with a camera or something.

As soon as you saw him your heart skipped a beat in your chest, and you jerked the door open. Jensen didn't hesitate, just jumped into your apartment, and watched you close the door.

"Sorry, normally I would have waited to be invited in, but you know, like you said If I'm seen..."

"Jensen, what the hell are you doing here?" you ask him, ignoring his rambling and watching him look around your apartment. His gaze seemed to be a thousand miles away from where you are now, even though he was standing right here in front of you.

"I was worried about you, you told me you were coming into work today, but you didn't show up. Gino said you called in, but I told you that I'd come and get you," he said, turning his focus onto you fully. His olive-green eyes searching you, feeling like they were boring into your very soul.

You ran your hand through your hair and looked down at your blue plaid PJ pants and Jensen's button-up, momentarily thankful that you had put a sports bra on when you got up this morning.

Jensen had text late last night to offer you a ride to work, but you just had ignored it. Showing up to work with him probably wouldn't put you very high on Danneel’s favorite people list.

"I didn't want you to feel like... you know... like I’m a burden to you or something... you're busy, you don't have time to run behind me," you said, still not looking up at him.

Jensen made his way closer to you, putting his finger under your chin and making you look up at him.

"Oh, sweetheart you are anything but a burden to me. I want to spend time with you," he said sincerely, and the confusion swirled around in your gut again, deeper this time than it was even last night.

"Why?" you asked bluntly, not being able to stop yourself, stress and lack of sleep making you a little more bold than you would normally be.

Jensen took a step back, looking at you in complete confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Why do you want to spend time with me? You tried to kiss me last night Jensen! You're married! You have a family! As attractive as you are, and as much as I'd be on board if you weren't already married with a family that's not going to change! I'm not that kind of person! I'm not a homewrecker! And I'm not going to be the other woman!"

You immediately wanted to eat your damn shoe, why the hell did you just blurt all that out? Had you completely lost your mind?

Jensen looked completely taken aback and took a full step back away from you.

"You don't know as much as you think you know,” he said, his words had a sharp edge to them that you'd never heard come from him before, and his eyes were starting to get a little colder as he stared into yours.

You knew you needed to choose your words wisely. He could fire you if you weren't careful, but more than that you didn't like the hurt look that was starting to form on his handsome face.

"Is that what you think of me? Some manwhore that likes to just pick up the women he works with, fuck them behind his wife's back? Don't you think If I did that with everything that came along people would have talked by now?!" His voice was rising with each sentence, anger quickly taking place on his features.

"Jensen," you tried to take a step closer to him, but he stepped back again. That stung, and you didn't know why. Isn't this what you had convinced yourself you needed. To keep your distance from the married man? Apparently so, or else you wouldn't have opened your stupid mouth.

He stood there shaking his head, not looking at you. "I thought... My wife and I, we... Things aren't exactly..." Finally, he gave up and shook his head avoiding your gaze, obviously deciding that whatever he was going to say wasn't good enough, or didn't sound any better.

"I came here to check on you, I can see your fine. I'm sorry I tried to kiss you, I don't know what came over me. Guess I just had too much to drink that day. Thought I saw something that wasn't there. It was my mistake. I'll leave you alone. Sorry."

With that, he shoved by you, not even looking at you as he went to your front door and put his hand on the doorknob before stopping in his tracks. If you ever wanted to break down and cry, it was now.

Your brain was telling you this was the right thing. Let him go. He's married. You'd just get hurt again. You can't live through that again.

But your heart... your heart was breaking into pieces. Tears were prickling your eyes, you felt like you wanted to just cave and run to him right there, but you wouldn’t do it. You held your ground watching him.

Jensen turned to look at you slowly. The anger was gone. He looked almost as hurt as you felt, and that just hurt worse.

He bit down on his lip and pulled a set of keys out from his pocket, placing them on the table next to the door. "There's a little Dodge Charger downstairs, dark blue, 2020, it's yours, I was going to give it to you anyway today because I don't think anyone should be put in the position you were put in because of a bitter ex who thinks they have an upper hand."

Tears were flowing down your face now, you made to speak, but Jensen just raised his hand to stop you, and you caught sight of the little golden band that was still on his left hand. Your throat felt like it was going to close in on you.

You didn’t think it was possible to hate a little piece of jewelry as much as you did right now. There it was though, shining, and mocking you.

"My lawyer will contact you at work tomorrow, bring the paperwork by to get everything transferred over into your name. I hope you still don't think so little of me Y/N, because even though it's probably wrong since I saw you for the first time... I've been drawn to you. I hoped..."

Jensen stopped himself, opening the door he stepped out into the hallway, leaving you standing there still in his shirt, tears flowing down your face and your heart in a million pieces at your feet, keys to a brand new car downstairs staring you in the face...

You fell to your knees in the middle of the floor and cried until you couldn't anymore.

You’d been heartbroken before but never like this. It was deep. It was completely invading, it was final. You weren’t in a relationship with the man, you barely knew one another. Why did it hurt like this?

Even though your brain said you did the right thing, your heart wasn't in agreement, and you felt like you just wanted to die.

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#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fic #jensen ackles smut #supernatural fanfiction #jensen ackles series #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #dean winchester #a thousand years #jawritter #supernatural #supernatural fic

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moviediary · 4 years

Text

She’s All That (1999)

Rich and popular makes a bet with his “friend”, whose personality is pretty much summed up by the fact that he has frosted tips, that he can turn any girl into the prom queen after getting dumped by his longtime girlfriend.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love this movie, but every time I watch it I can’t help but be amazed at how absurd it is. I mean, cliché plot aside, every individual piece that makes up this 1 hour and 30 minute ode to the individual is completely insane. What universe does this take place in? What high school do they go to?

That being said, I really like the opening shots to this movie, it definitely gives you a good introduction to the main character. Laney Boggs. She’s political and messy and 100% down to her bones an art student. She isn’t afraid to be dark.

In contrast I feel like the first meeting of the main love interest really doesn’t set him up to be who the writers want you to think he is. I mean he rolls up to school in a bright yellow Jeep with a Mr. Prez vanity plate. Then you see his shoes when he gets out of the car, fuckin’ ugly ass leather loafers. I’m sorry I know this means nothing I just have a hard time believing this jock wears these fucking shoes they’re so god damn ugly.

Every moment that introduces him makes it seem like he should be the villain, he has pretty much no redeeming qualities that we can see besides his wit (barely) and good looks. I just don’t understand why we’re supposed to like him, this is Sixteen Candles all over again. Hot rich guy, is an asshole, for some reason I still root for and love him. How does that work? What makes these characters so grossly likable? I mean, his name is Zack. That alone raises a red flag for me. That’s a frat boy asshole name. Zacks are friends of Kyle that’s all I’m saying.

Once we get through his painfully douchey introduction we get introduced to Zack’s equally douchey friends frosted tips and Gus from psych. (don’t ask me what their actual names are it’s not important anyway, that is essentially their personalities) The first thing we hear is them talking about summer break and their vacations, further driving home how rich they are and how weird it is that adults write movies about teenagers having gratuitous amounts of sex with adults. Then Zach tries unsuccessfully to say something philosophical about them graduating soon (I have to keep reminding myself that he’s supposed to have like the 4th highest GPA in their class) They then meet the most 90s girls I have ever seen. Who I guess are supposed to be popular? One thing I do like is how diverse all the characters are, they don’t all look exactly the same which I feel tends to be a problem with high school movies.

So we finally meet the “popular girl” Taylor Vaughn, Zack’s girlfriend and she immediately breaks up with him (which honestly is probably a good idea anyway) and his “friends” fucking laugh at him which he really had coming. I mean. Look at his hair.

This launches what is probably one of my favorite narrated flashback scenes of all time, not because the topic is particularly interesting but because I love the way they have Zach interrupt her inside of the flashback. It’s a very small addition that really gives the scene style. Also we see this hot girl start dating Shaggy??? Also one of the villains from the original Scream???( he only really plays one character.) Makes me laugh every time. Also makes me a little uncomfortable every time since she’s in high school and he’s who knows how old but whatever not important. This also leads to one of my favorite exchanges in the whole movie.

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Taylor wraps up her spring break story time with one of the rawest lines I've ever seen in a 90s movie (she really did that to him) and the director throws in a classic high school movie trope, everyone actually caring enough to stop and watch this exchange. And while I usually hate this kind of character worship, since this movie is already so bizarre and unrealistic it actually kinda fits

We then cut to Laney’s art class which includes her teacher that for some reason thinks her art isn’t personal enough and two clown obsessed Lydia Deetz knock offs. I have to say I do love this part where the art students literally suggest that she kill herself in order to have her art recognized. Very realistic conversation between art students.

That whole scene is really funny though because it doesn’t feel like it belongs in this movie. Even the music doesn't fit which is only emphasized by the sudden bell ringing transition back into a stereotypical high school movie. It reminds me of movies like the craft, the way it’s cut together, the way the characters talk, how Laney just stares straight ahead after not saying anything. It seems like she could have chosen a completely different movie to be in. Like if the movie was a chose your own adventure, she could have been in a different genre entirely and the movie would have been about her and those girls faking her death to get recognition and make money from her paintings. which would have been sick. but that isn't the movie I’m watching. Which I’m reminded of when fucking Zack comes back on screen.

Also right before the scene where the actual bet is introduced we meet the school’s resident DJ??? which isn’t important at all but is so strange that I feel the need to point it out. Like they don’t just have a guy who does the announcements they have like a disc jockey who is just there all the time??? There are just so many little things in this movie that make it so weird.

So fucking Brock pukashells pulls up and Zach just flips. Which is understandable it is a very gross moment but he just fucking goes off about Taylor and how she’s not that great and he could get with any girl in the school. His friends point out that bitch boy forgot that Taylor Vaughn is “an institution” and basically Zach with tits. She’s very important. This is something I never get about movies like this, has anyone actually been to a high school where someone was that well known. But also not liked? Like sure she’s hot, but she’s also a grade A bitch to everyone. and according to Zach nothing more than a C minus GPA in a Wonderbra.

Once you get through the misogyny plus ultra scene and they finally make the bet, frosted tips has picked the girl Zach has to turn into the prom queen. Scary inaccessible Laney Boggs. He’s got 6 weeks to make her popular. He starts off his first exchange with her in the best way possible. By calling her brother Spaz (as his name). Again, we’re supposed to like this guy I think. I don’t know when he’s supposed to become a likable character but I can’t imagine it’s during all these scenes where he just legit insults people.

I also love all of the clips we get to see from Brock’s time on The Real World Which make me really question why all the girls fan girl over him given that he’s actually the worst, even on the show. We also get introduced to Zack’s sister who probably should have been a lesbian given how queer coded her character is besides the fact that she desperately wants a boyfriend. She even goes to an all girls school it would have been perfect. But alas, this movie is gay-less.

We are then introduced to another b-plot in this movie, Zack’s indecision about college. This was I guess to make him more human? or something? To sort of flesh him out and give him problems but honestly he doesn't have any problems. Later in the movie Laney points this out to him, he can do whatever he wants. This whole college thing is resolved fairly quickly later in the film too, it’s not very important it’s just the only thing we see about Zack besides being a perfect high schooler throughout the whole movie. Well that and his terrible performance art and being an asshole.

After we see that Zack has been accepted by every Ivy League school and their mother (I’m not jealous I swear) we take a brief Taylor being a bitch detour before getting back to Zack making an ass of himself. This time he’s bothering Laney at her job which is awesome we love that. Again I don’t know why we like this guy he does like 3 nice things the whole movie. Anyway she gets defensive like she always does and he fumbles around trying to talk like he’s a normal person and not a walking cliché and then there’s this really strange exchange where he tries to asked her for help in art classes and she says “you don’t take art” and he’s like “how do you know?” and she’s like “Why haven't I seen you in any of my classes?” and like, I get what they were going for but what kind of high school is this? how does she have time to take more than one art class? How is she already an art major before she’s in college that’s not how high school works. I only ever had one school where I could take more than two extra curriculars and that was in middle school and it was only because they fucked up and put me in four hours of study hall and so I just went to all of the art classes that were offered. But that’s different. And am I way over analyzing this movie? yes. Does anyone but me care about this shit? probably not, but I’m gonna talk about it anyway.

I also really like Laney’s best friend who’s kind of just there, all the time, he’s such a good wing man. He also made the best excuse to get out of seeing that weird ass art show she’s in. He’s like, oh good I don’t have to see another Mitch show. He’s probably in his underwear in all of them, I wouldn’t want to go either. I think it really says something about the performance art world though, because this is probably the most believable part of the whole movie. If someone told me that his is just an actual performance art piece that they used in this movie I would absolutely believe them. Also one of the weird gremlins in this piece says what is probably my favorite quote ever which is “my soul is an island, my car is a Ford” like what the fuck is that I love that so much.

I really want to know how they came up with this shit, it’s so perfect. It also is another one of these parts in the movie that doesn’t really add anything. A lot of the movie is like this, I feel like 90% of this movie is weird filler scenes and the rest in plot. Like it’s so obvious how it’s going to end that you barely even need to watch most of the movie, and even when you do watch most of the movie it always kind of feels like it only half has something to do with the plot. I’m not even going to talk about the weird hacky Sack scene, I can’t handle how embarrassing and cringey it is I pretty much always skip through it. What a dick move of Laney’s to even put him in that situation. The whole “your eyes are really beautiful” scene is also really strange, both his lines and her reaction don’t really make sense. Through most of this movie when they actually talk to each other I feel like they don’t have any chemistry. It’s the same when he subtly blackmails her into going to the beach with him. He’s awkward and barely says anything that prompts a response and then she just goes full WOKE EMO on him and like, they really do have nothing in common I do not understand their relationship. And then his friends show up and he’s like, “If we’re gonna be friends we’ll have to deal with them eventually” which like, 1: wow get some friends you actually like maybe? And 2: how are you guys friends, you’ve barely ever managed to exchange civil words on screen. Actually maybe that makes sense, this is why he thinks this is okay (besides the whole bet thing) maybe he doesn’t realize he’s supposed to actually like his friends and girlfriend. Because it really seems like he doesn’t like any of them, which I get. Except for Gus (not his name but whatever) because that guy’s actually pretty funny and spends the whole movie calling frosted tips out whenever he sounds too much like Kenny from Can’t Hardly Wait.

The whole beach scene is kinda take it or leave it too, there are a lot of moments where we see Laney hang out with Zack and other people but honestly through the whole movie there really isn’t a whole lot of growth. We don’t actually really see them bond or talk, we’re supposed to believe their relationship is growing but I guess that must be happening off screen because I don’t see it.

One of my favorite parts is when Zack forces the JV soccer team to clean Laney’s house, the kid answering the jeopardy question and her dad just realizing they were there. Oh man, gets me every time. The makeover scene is also pretty cute, I always love those. Also the whole “new, not improved, but different Laney Boggs” thing is adorable and I appreciate it.

The evolving of the characters and their relationships don’t happen gradually, what little is actually shown is pretty much in like 3 parts, the opening, the party scene, and the end. The characters are very flat for most of the movie and they have very little personality, but the party scene is very fun to watch. From “Gracias, papi!” to Laney turning Misty into a clown, and then the Give it to Me dance sequence. And even though the characters haven’t really given me a good reason to care about them my heart still hurts a little for Laney when Taylor ruins her dress. That’s the thing about this movie, I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t like these characters, but I still do, and I have no idea why.

The Brock dumping Taylor thing was great, the parallel was expected but I actually think it added to the story. In fact most of the things after the party actually feel necessary to the movie which is nice. Even the soccer practice actually leads to something. I don’t know what it is about the 2nd quarter of this movie that feels so empty but whatever it is it’s enough that I saw a noticeable difference when I got to the third act of this movie.

It’s a small part but I also really love the alternative clubs that make signs in favor of Laney for prom queen. They’re just so fucking funny to me. I mean, Hygiene club? Prisoners club??? What?

Then they pull another fast feelings thing on me again. They throw the mom painting scene at me and like, wow that’s sad. Then Zack tries to garner sympathy for the problems that he makes for himself. Then boom they flip on me again they’re cute and I like them. Then she says that weird thing about prom and he just dips man. And like, Why do they gotta do me like that? I cannot seem to decide if I like these characters or not it’s so weird how this dialogue is written.

And then the dream happens? Definitely one of the best scenes in the whole movie. So fucking perfect. It really just adds to the weird slight surrealness of this whole movie.

Then we go back to the school and suddenly everyone is dressing like Laney? In support I guess? Again can I just ask what fucking school they go to? And then there’s the beat boxing scene? Where they rap about who’s gonna be prom queen? I’ve never even met anybody that invested in the outcome of who’s gonna be prom queen except for those running. I don’t even think I know anybody who voted. Even so, I do love the beat box scene, they really spit some bars.

Also I just noticed that in that super fucked cafeteria scene, you can see Buffy make a cameo? Just a fun little trivia fact. But seriously that cafeteria scene is fucked. Like, the pubes on the pizza? I wish no one had thought of that ever. Also can I just say I would undoubtedly rather get my ass kicked than be forced to eat pubes. I don’t know what they were thinking that isn’t even a question.

It’s also really uncomfortable how good frosted tips is at acting like he’s not a douchebag. What a creep. If that were a real guy I’d be tempted to call him a sociopath. So gross. But I suppose it’s good for the story line.

The end of the movie wraps up pretty fast honestly. Zack’s dad and him finally communicate which fixes Zack’s only problem immediately because that’s just how easy it is. He was just projecting the whole time, his dad had literally no problems other than being a typical rich dad. Then of course we get another moment with the school DJ who I guess just gets to play and say what ever he wants whenever he wants. Am I the only one who thinks it’s really inappropriate how sexual that guy’s announcements about prom are? Maybe it’s just me and I had a really different high school experience but I feel like people are way too focused on sex when they make movies about high school. Other shit was going on you know? It’s just odd for me to think about grown adults writing and pitching this movie.

Zack really is such a bitch boy though, he doesn’t even try to explain anything to her, just lets her get hurt and lets Taylor be a bitch to her without saying anything. He doesn’t even try to tell her that frosted tips was just as much a part of it as he was. Honestly I kind of wish that frosted tips wasn’t such an asshole his whole heart to heart with her at the door before prom could have been really cute if I didn’t already know he was a lying scumbag. But I guess Laney just gets the lesser of the douchebags.

We finally get to the prom, inarguably the best part of the whole movie, all the little bits and pieces. The sex doll guy is always funny as hell. The DJ being the school DJ works really well brings a lot of closure to that whole weirdness. Also that dance scene is fucking great, has absolutely nothing to do with the plot, which actually works since about 40% of the things in this movie have nothing to do with the plot of this movie. I absolutely unironically tried to learn this dance, man I fucking wish prom was actually like this. I don’t know about you guys but for me, both of my proms were not nearly this theatrical. I spent my first one playing black jack the whole time and my senior prom was full of people that were way too white to dance. Anyway, Laney doesn’t win and she leaves early. Zack gives a pretty boring speech. Taylor goes off on everyone. Frosted tips tries to get Laney in bed and everyone gets upset.

The whole thing ends with Laney coming home to find Zach waiting for her to make sure she’s okay, which is sweet and all but like I can’t help wondering how long he had just been standing there waiting. Especially since it seemed like her dad was just ignoring him. That’s just a funny image to me. Anyway, they dance in the backyard. They kiss. It’s cute. Zack loses the bet so he accepts his diploma naked which I’m pretty sure is indecent public exposure but sure.

Overall it’s a very cute movie. The clichés are sort of made up for by all the weird 90s movie things. Plus it has a pretty great soundtrack. I know I sort of really went in on this movie but to be honest I really enjoy watching it. I’m not sure why. It’s pretty bad when you think about it any deeper than surface level. But it’s also just really fun and the characters are weird and there’s too many duffel bags to be normal and it’s just funny. It’s really weirdly funny. And it has that same non-conclusion that a lot of teen rom-coms have where they just can’t really give you all that much and just make sure they’re happy even if you know there is no way they can continue a relationship outside of high school. It may sound like it, but I’m not mad at it. If you haven’t already I’d say watch it. Watch it as a relaxing mindless good time activity. At the very least you won’t be bored, but if you get sympathy embarrassment like I do then maybe skip a few parts.

As of right now this movie is not available for free on any streaming sites (yes I own it on DVD don’t @ me)

Final Verdict:

Actual movie review: 6/10

How fun is it to watch?: 8/10

#she's all that #90s movies #movie review

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meteor752 · 4 years

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Tilda in the fellowship AU

After finishing my Tilda Deep Dive I started thinking about how it would have gone if she did follow her brother to the council of Elrond, and if it would have affected anything. Enjoy

***

So the beginning is simple, when she is offered to go to Rivendell she agrees because yay adventure.

But she goes all princessy, like with a circlet on her head, make-up, some long elven robe all that jazz.

And before the actual council she mostly wanders around trying to make it look like she fits in, before she sees Aragorn where she just squeals and hugs him tight because she’s a hugger.

So at the actual council, the moment the ring is brought forth, she’s just immediately going hell yes I’m doing this, while Legolas is viciously glaring at her because you’re not doing this.

She tries to argue back at him when everyone is arguing with each other, because one, the ring needs to be destroyed and she’s willing to do it and two, it’s a chance to get out of her family shadow.

But alas, a fucking Hobbit offers to do it, and she’s just making the most annoyed face in existence.

Until Aragorn offers to come along, and then Legolas, and Gimli, and she’s just over here like “Yeah I don’t have a unique weapon but if Princess here is going then I am as well.”

And then there’s also three more hobbits, two of which she grows fond of immediately.

When she went to get prepared and to get out of the elven robe, she was basically bouncing with excitement. Legolas tried his best to talk her out of it, but Tilda could be more stubborn than a dwarf if she desired to.

He told her to send a message to their da and ada to ask for permission to do this, She agreed, while in her head she was just saying fuck that, and did not do it.

Tilda had a spring to her step when the journey started, chatting happily with two of the hobbits, watching her brother talk quietly with Aragorn, grinning widely cause she knows what’s up.

It took her about a day, a day and a half, before she stopped walking and started climbing stuff, much to almost everyone’s confusion.

She said that it was to challenge herself and to get a better look at the surrounding terrain, but in reality she just wanted to feel tall as she was the shortest out of the “Tall Folk” as Merry and Pippin so nicely put it.

And it took maybe a week for her to make the connection that the Baggins she was traveling with and protecting was related to the Baggins that changed her and her people’s lives, so that was something.

But Tilda took quite the delight in the fact that both The Hobbits and Gimli had heard many stories of the reclaiming of Erebor, but she had actually been there unlike them.

(Well, if going by film canon then Legolas was there as well, which we are going to do mostly because then the Legolas Tilda first met was the dramatic edgy one with eyeliner, which she would just love to tell the others about).

When it came to Moria, Tilda was a little less smiling and bouncy, and more jumpy and uncomfortable. She’d after all known some of the dwarves whose corpses were scattered across the mine, and she’d never been one for darkness.

It was even worse when they came to Balin’s grave with Ori’s corpse just beside it, as she’d definitely known those two.

Now, before we continue, I just need y’all to know this; Tilda does not like Gandalf. She thinks he’s a bad person, she does not understand the obsession that so many elves have with him, and she thinks he should mind his own damn business. So she was just ready kick his ass when he started yelling at Pippin, like this bitch was ready. But she never got the chance, because they have a cave troll!

Tilda was out of her environment, she was in a too small of a space, and she had to make sure that the pretty incompetent hobbits were alright during the whole thing, so everything that was going through her mind in that fight was just a string of panicked curse words.

Glorofindel had told Tilda about Balrogs once in her youth during a visit to Rivendell, so she kinda knew what was up when a fire demon came out of nowhere, and she was a tiny bit excited.

Mostly because again, she likes fire.

But that does NOT MEAN, that she liked that Gandalf fucking died, because despite the fact that she dislikes him a lot he was honestly one of the few things holding the Fellowship together.

They still managed to keep going for a while, and Tilda managed to befriend Boromir out of all people during that period, and they bonded over their willingness to protect their people, and Tilda loved hearing Boromir talk proudly of his brother (While she talked shit about her own siblings).

At the arrival of Lothlórien, Tilda was just ready to lay down on something soft and take a fucking nap because she earned it god damnit. She did have time to say hi to her Gram Gram Galadriel though, who’s been her favorite babysitter as a child (And adult time some extent) and basically her grandma.

When it came to the little gift giving thingy, she was just happy with a new quiver of arrows, because she’d started to run out. They tried to offer her a new bow, but she’s very attached to her own and ain’t giving it up anytime soon.

While riding the boats, she was dramatically posing at the front the entire time, except for when it got too hot and she just jumped into the water and swam for a while, because when you spend your first years in a place called lake town you basically learn how to swim before you learn how to walk.

If you would ask Tilda what happened next, she would just shrug because she literally has no idea.

All she knew was that Boromir went to collect fire wood and that Frodo wandered off (Which he does like all the time, like Tilda wouldn’t be able to count on her fingers the amount of times someone had to go find him),and then suddenly Orcs attacked, Merry and Pippin were taken and Boromir was bleeding out in front of the remaining four.

And as the sister of the best healer in Middle Earth, Tilda did not hesitate to push Aragorn aside and start screaming out instructions, because this man is not dying on her watch.

It took her a few hours to stabilize the wound, and she had Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn running back and forth, giving her stuff like water and herbs, while she made Boromir talk the entire time just to make sure he wouldn’t pass out and possibly die.

But as soon as Boromir could stand on his feet without falling again, they took off to find Merry and Pippin, while Tilda was praying that Boromir’s wounds wouldn’t open before they got to a real healer.

Tilda was more than okay about running for three days straight, but she did made sure they took a few breaks for the sake of Boromir, and she hated it every time because it made her feel a lot like Sigrid.

Tilda got an uneasy feeling the moment they entered Rohan, especially when they ran into fucking Éomer, who she was just glaring daggers at, and it only got worse when he informed them that he’d fucking slaughtered the hobbits, like both Tilda and Boromir had to be held back.

But the news of their possible survival made Tilda go yay, especially when they got to enter Fangor forest, which was just a delight, and she basically prayed to herself that she would got to meet an Ent.

Instead, she met Gandalf, who’s back now.

She doesn’t really know how to feel about that, because on one hand it’s Gandalf who’s really powerful and is a great deal of help, and on the other hand it’s Gandalf who’s just the fucking worst.

And then he takes them to meet King Théoden, and Tilda just keeps thinking that that day really can’t get any worse.

While Tilda only dislikes Gandalf, she fucking hates Théoden. She met him earlier in her life when he was still young, and he immediately gave her a bad vibe. So Tilda was salty towards him, and he was rude back, and this gal is petty so she still hates him, and his whole family.

Actually scratch that, his niece is both pretty and powerful, she respects her.

As soon as Sauroman is banished from the king’s mind, Tilda drags Bormir to a healer before anything else so his wounds could be properly cared for, just to get that off her mind.

She sent a whistle to Aloe, mostly because she missed him and they weren’t moving around all the time anymore, before joining Legolas and the rest in the throne room with Théoden.

Until the escape to Helm’s deep, Tilda is just kinda vibing. She avoids Théoden the best that she can, she chills with her brother and Gimli, Aloe arrived just barely a day after so that was nice.

It’s mostly when it’s announced that they will escape that she starts to get engaged again, because just call for help for Valars sake it isn’t that hard, stop letting your pride get in your way.

And then Aragorn fucking dies on the way, and Legolas is over there getting depressed while Boromir is having a bit of a panic attack, so everything is just a mess, and she wasn’t okay either because that was her ‘We we’re both raised as humans in an elven society also we like hugs’ buddy.

But she had to be the stable one for once, mostly because she had two people falling apart on her and Gimli was not the best when it came to feelings. Actually, she wasn’t either, so everyone was just stressing out.

Until Aragon arrived not too soon after, in which she first gave him a real fucking punch because how dare you, and then she hugged him because she’s just glad that he’s back.

So is Legolas.

And Èowyn, because she ain’t slick Tilda saw the looks she were giving her, and she laid it all out in front of her because those two had been giving each other “The Look” for all of the sixty years she’d known them, and it was better to just rip the band aid off.

Èowyn took it pretty okay.

Tilda was even more heated with Théoden when they’d arrived, because fucking damnit just call for aid, to you want me to message my ada? He’d surely help!

When Èowyn told her that she was not allowed to fight, she just said fuck that and encouraged her to do it anyways, because males are idiots sometimes.

So she did.

And while Legolas and Gimli had their little competition, Tilda, Èowyn, and Boromir were on the other side of the battle just kicking ass.

The scream of joy that escaped Èowyn’s mouth when she saw her brother almost made Tilda go deaf (That’s what happened if you ask her anyway), while she only smiled a little to herself because enforcements, yay, but by Éomer and Gandalf, fuck no.

After the battle was over, Tilda had a real talk with Aragorn about her brother, because Legolas literally fell apart when he thought that he’d died, and they both nearly died once more, so please just get it on already.

Tilda was really proud of Èowyn when she stood her ground against her uncles anger for participating in the battle, and yes they did fuck when they got back to Rohan.

Tilda had a great time just vibing with a pint of ale and watching the hobbits dance around, but she was pretty much immune to normal human ale at this point after growing up with the The Wine King, and also because she was no lightweight.

And then she fucked Èowyn again.

Until she felt a deep darkness around from somewhere, and she just rushed to get her clothes on to check it out.

What she found was Pippin getting yelled at by Gandalf while Aragorn was quite weakened and had to lean on Legolas for support.

So once again something big happened but Tilda had no idea what it was.

And then suddenly Gandalf was leaving with Pippin for Minas Tirith and Boromir is arguing about him coming with despite Gandalf’s refusal, and Merry was just sad and stuff and once again, Tilda had no idea what was going on.

Except that Gondor was in danger and Théoden refused to help, so yeah she was all about arguing with him because of that, and with arguing I mean she yelled at him for a bit, walked away to cool off before coming back just to start yelling again.

Aloe was basically the only thing keeping her sane because she was really fed up with everyone else, so she just spent a lot of time in the stable with her elk.

The moment that “Gondor called for aid”, Tilda just threw her arms up in the air all “FINALLY”, while also trying to calm Boromir down who was worried about his land and his brother.

She sent Aloe off with a message for her sister, and then rode on a normal horse with a fucking saddle which was uncomfortable as hell.

When they stopped at the mountain pass, Tilda was delighted when Aloe find his way to her, but less delighted when she heard her full name screamed across the camp from a very familiar and annoying voice.

Sigrid yelled at her for almost twenty minutes of how ‘irresponsible it was’, and how ‘She risked her life for the sake of adventure’ and how ‘Da and Thranduil are so worried about you’, which also angers Legolas a bit since she lied to him, and it’s all a mess.

But it’s nice to meet Bain again, whom she introduces to Boromir and Aragorn and the three get talking on sword stuff, she doesn’t really care.

And she gets a chance of talking with Sigrid, and apologizes for worrying her while she apologizes for yelling, and they both are cool.

Overall Tilda has it pretty chill that night, mostly just checking over all of her arrows while humming on a tune, until Legolas notices that Aragorn is packing up his stuff and all four of them are just welp I guess we’re doing this now.

Tilda just hates the feeling of the mountain, and she has an insanely tight grip on the fur of Aloe while just trying to calm the uneasy feeling, while listening to the other’s talking about its history. Still, she can’t help but read out the best climbing routes of the place.

Aloe is the only one of the riding animals that doesn’t run away at the entrance to the path of the dead, which she was rather smug about, and with him by her side she was a bit more comfortable with entering.

She was not alright with the fucking ghosts however, like fuck that what the fuck take me the fuck out of here hell nah bro.

It was fun entering the battle of the Pelennor fields riding her trusted elk surrounded by her friends and an army of spirits, like that was dope.

They were all alright after the battle, Tilda met Pippin again after being away from him for a few days, and Tilda reassured him that Merry would be alright, that she’d seen so much weaker people battle so much worse pain.

She briefly got to meet Boromir’s little brother Faramir that she’d heard so much about, and got to know that their father had tried to burn him alive and were corrently locked in the dungeon, and a pretty angry Tilda had to calm down a down right furious Boromir.

She learned of Théoden’s death, and was pretty satisfied by it, though in private as both Èowyn and Èomer were devestated.

The battle of the black gate is just filled with happy tears and cheers as its over, because the war is over, the ring is destroyed, they had won.

Tilda finds all three of her siblings after it and hug them all tightly, because they all are okay and all made it out, and she was just so gosh darn happy.

When Frodo and Sam are brought to Minas Tirith, bruised, bleeding, and so skinny, Tilda almost cries. Almost. Because such pure creatures should not have to go through what those two did, and she knows that permanent scars will be left of the journey.

Aragorn is crowned king, and Tilda smiled so brightly as she could, proud of what the boy she fell on after jumping on the wrong branch had become.

He finds Legolas in the crowd, and they smile softly at each other before kissing each other, and no one can ignore the shout of “FINALLY” that escaped Tilda’s mouth, because she’d been waiting for that for almost sisxty years god dammnit.

Before leaving Gondor for Mirkwood, she showers the hobbits with as much affection and hugs that she can, because all four of them deserve it.

She says goodbye to the fellowship, to the friends that she would never forget and the people she would visit so often, and leaves on Aloe with Legolas, to return home.

Both Bard and Thranduil are both happy and very angry when she returns, and she argues back boldly against them, because they can’t expect her to stay in Mirkwood after being away for thirteen months.

So instead of sneaking off, she is let go and leaves with Aloe, a bright smile on her face.

She still has nightmares of the journey. Of Boromir dying in her hands, of seeing Merry and Pippin’s burnt bodies in the pile of orc, of Aragorn never returning from the fall and Legolas’ light fading away, of Frodo and Sam being brought back by the eagles, so scarred and broken, an image she never gets out of her head.

She cuts her hair into a single braid going down her back, she gets tattoos dedicated to the fellowship, she finds happiness in travelling peacefully across middle earth.

She gets an invitation to her brother’s wedding, and she arrives in Gondor with the biggest smile on her face, embracing the fellowship.

Tilda gets put in charge of the music of the wedding, and as she plays softly on her lute with her voice calmly echoing throughout the room as Legolas and Aragorn dances, she can’t help but she’d a few tears as she’s been waiting on this for so long and she’s just so happy for them.

It’s a lot less tears and a lot more laughter at Frodo and Sam’s wedding, as hobbits really do know how to party and she’s just having a blast being one of the tallest.

But then the request to kill that god forsaken Forest Dragon comes along, and she just can’t say no.

***

So apparently if Tilda joined the fellowship Boromir would have survived?? 😅

I just thought about this whole thing, and I knew that she would not have someone bleed out when she could’ve done something.

The reason Denethor is alive and not burned is because since Boromir survived, he wouldn’t go full on crazy, and also I want him to face his actions.

This last part just became a bunch of fluff, but my last post was just consisting of mentally torturing this gal, so I wanted to give her a break.

AU Masterpost

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krissysnow · 3 years

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My thoughts on Christmas Detour

It’s that time of year again, the time I look forward to every year…Hallmark movie time! It only comes twice a year, once for Christmas in July and then again in October-December. Four months to wet my appetite for over the top holiday decorations, unlikely romance and twenty versions of Pride and Prejudice but then disappears like a mirage in the dessert as soon as January hits. Why do I love them so much? Maybe it’s the wholesomeness in a troubled duplicitous world, the reminder of a joyous time when hope and rebirth can begin in the new year, or maybe it’s because I have the same taste in movies as an 80 year old woman surrounded by her cats sipping Darjeeling tea. But I think what I really love is that they are so deliciously wrought with ridiculousness that breaking them apart adds to the joy and allows me to pretend I don’t enjoy them as much as I do and that I am a sane person and not some hopeless romantic.

So, on my very first post I am going to delve into one of my favorite Hallmark classics, that yes, does reside on my DVR and that is Christmas Detour. There are many staple Hallmark actresses and becoming the grand dame of them all is Candace Cameron Bure. She hasn’t aged since her last days as DJ Tanner and her generic approach to play every role the same invites us into each Hallmark movie because she is so familiar and we fall instantly into the new plot like putting on those Christmas pajamas we only take out once a year. In this movie she plays Paige Summerlind, a writer for a wedding magazine. Which is at least a welcome departure from the usual careers of our Hallmark heroines as party planners and interior designers. How she makes enough money to not only afford a place in LA but then also offers to buy a bridal magazine for a future bride perusing the magazine rack at the airport is beyond me but I’ll buy into it since weddings are a billion dollar industry.

We immediately get the sense of Paige’s high maintenance and lack of travel knowledge when she tries to bring her vision board on the plane as she books her seat. What is a vision board? This is equivalent to the bulletin board you had in college that took up half your wall behind your desk. However, instead of pictures of boy bands, ads for wine coolers, dated mottos and an occasional post-it of a due date from the previous semester, her vision board is filled with frilly ideas for her upcoming nuptials. Cakes, dresses, flowers, and maybe a tiny picture of her betrothed. Which brings us to a view of her fiancé, Jack Collins. We first see Jack at his parents house in what may appear to be some snooty Hampton vacation home with his uppity mother Susan and her husband Neil. Susan is more interested in her next martini than she is with her stodgy husband. I adore the actress that plays Susan (Barbara Niven) since she is also featured in many Hallmark movies as the quirky but lovely towns woman. This is such a departure that I love to see her snark and smirk and booze it up in this holiday flick. But despite the boozy mom and dad that looks like he’s walking around in overly starched undergarments Jack at first glimpse seems like a devoted fiancé. As time goes on we realize that Jack has as much personality as a salty olive floating in his mother’s afternoon martini. That probably the sharpest thing on him is his chiseled chin.

Meanwhile, at the airport and ready to take off for parts of unnamed downstate NY we are introduced to Dylan, an airport bartender that clearly didn’t get picked up for pilot season in LA and was forced to shovel salty snacks and pour weakened drinks for weary travelers. He’s on his way home to see his family after a hiatus. He drags his heels like an 8 year old going to church to board the flight and we are intrigued to find out why he would not want to visit a Hallmark haven like we have come to expect. Next up is Frank and Maxine, a 40 something couple that have been married for twenty years that have grown to have a clear distaste for each other. Hold up Hallmark, say it isn’t so, you expect us to believe a Hallmark couple has grown apart and share a life less than bliss? Have you taken a momentary lapse into the Lifetime channel?

As luck would have it, Paige and Dylan are seated together and begin the Hallmark push pull relationship of hard to get. We need to stick with the Hallmark formula of first encounters and wrong impressions and mixed messages ultimately resulting in whirlwind romances making the Bachelor reality show look like a long relationship. After trading barbs Paige puts on her ear phones to no doubt dream of her picket fence life with Chiseled Chin. Unexpectedly, a snow storm on the eastern seaboard in December (shocking) forces an emergency landing in the magical land of…Buffalo.

Now, if you’ve been to western NY, Buffalo really isn’t your Hallmark destination, and being from upstate NY myself my half frost bit ears perked up. Incidentally, Candace’s sister-in-law is from Buffalo. I know this because there was a flurry of rumor spreading through the mall I worked at in the 90’s that Candace, her brother Kurt and his girlfriend were walking through on their way to visit the girlfriend’s (now wife) family. Alas, they never visited the Limited store I worked at, they probably had enough stirrup leggings to last a lifetime. But here we are, in cold Buffalo, waiting for the weather to clear up for the planes to take off again. First of all, airports in western NY rarely close and snow doesn’t last an hour, it lasts longer than a Hallmark movie season.

Paige frantically calls Chiseled Chin to tell her of her bad luck and ever the devoted fiancé, Chiseled mentions that perhaps she should’ve checked the radar before leaving. Perhaps the rocket scientist could’ve looked out the window at his place to maybe warn her they were up to their cummerbunds in snow? Nevertheless, he warns her that she better make it in time because she would miss meeting his parents who were leaving for an extended cruise the day after Christmas. They were old fashioned after all and needed to lay eyes on their future daughter in law before the wedding in the spring. That’s some lengthy cruise that they never make landfall before May to rejoin their chiseled son and his bride. How is it that they work to maintain this lavish lifestyle? Some Bernie Madoff pyramid scheme? Just what kind of family is our Paige marrying into? Our heroine is crushed and begins to lose hope as the bitter married couple try to cheer her up.

Dylan rents the only SUV left in western NY (he’s so resourceful that Dylan) and offers to drive them all to their down state destination. It’s here we begin to see a glimpse into the lives of Frank and Maxine that have been married for 20 years. Hallmark tries to pass off this 20 year marriage as if it’s 50 years and the stuff of legends. Considering an average courtship and engagement only lasts 3 weeks in Hallmark time I guess it is an eternity. But for crying out loud, I have underwear older than dear Frank and Maxine’s marriage. We also find out that Frank and Maxine are on their way to visit their newly married daughter and husband for Christmas in what is going to become a new tradition. It’s clear Maxine is not liking venturing into the snow and cold and out of her LA comfort zone and is as resentful of her travels as she is of Frank. This is where I become confused at Hallmark’s settling on their being married 20 years. Why not 25 or 30? I’m a stickler for numbers and timing so this is where Hallmark got sloppy. Are we to believe that Frank and Maxine lived in sin with an illegitimate child before they were married, or that their daughter was married at 19 and landed in a gorgeous Long Island million dollar home as some famed rich youtuber or marrying someone older? Perhaps nailing her professor from Sarah Lawrence? I for one am still reeling from the shock of this reality.

As roads sometimes do in NY in winter, they iced up and became too much for the SUV as Dylan swerved to avoid hitting a rabbit Paige thought she saw and they crashed. Not an end up in the hospital type of crash, but a we’re conveniently stranded for the night kind of fender bender. I can’t tell you the times I drove in NY blizzards and wished that damn rabbit hadn’t jumped out right in front of me. Those NY rabbits sure love a blizzard and boy are they easy to see in snow. Looks like we’re sidelined again from getting to Chiseled Chin and Maxine and Frank’s daughter’s youtube mansion. But as luck would have it there is a quaint Christmas town somewhere between Buffalo and Albany! If this town exists in upstate NY it’s as imaginary as that rabbit. Our foursome have no choice but to hunker down in a Christmas Inn and stroll the quaint imaginary rabbit town. As they dine on stale rolls and wander the town that doesn’t seem to realize there is a blizzard going on, Dylan informs Paige he is reluctant to return home because his brother is with his once fiancé. First an illegitimate daughter and now a sibling tryst, what is Hallmark coming to? I hope there’s a music montage soon to lead us out of this sordidness.

After having to oblige by the sacrosanct rule of kissing underneath the mistletoe in a Christmas movie, Paige is starting to have feelings for our salty snack bartender and less for Chiseled Chin. She needs to get out of Christmas town before she encounters any more ill placed mistletoe. Dylan, disappointed, drives Frank and Maxine to their daughter’s youtube love nest she shares with her 65 year old Sarah Lawrence professor. Maxine gifts Dylan not only with a picture of he and Paige but an address where she will be having dinner. Once out of the car Frank takes a stand and demands Maxine either get on board with a Hallmark marriage or skirt on over to Lifetime or worse yet, TBS. Maxine appreciating Frank’s boldness agrees and takes the luggage up to whatever hell awaits in the youtube illegitimate daughter’s love nest.

Meanwhile, Paige finally meets her boozy starchy future inlaws. Boozy immediately insults her off the rack dress that in reality probably set the costume department back a half a Hallmark store. Boozy and Starchy have plans for the wedding that Paige is not digging. She clearly has her dream wedding as depicted on her vision board. She should roll it out with the martinis and see if it flies. Where is that vision board? Chiseled can’t understand Paige’s reluctance to go along with the Hampton wedding plan and is beginning to wonder if he picked the right woman to share his Hampton beach life. He asks her to make sure she is prompt as she is to change into yet another cocktail dress to go to dinner at the club. Why does she need to change out of one four thousand dollar dress for another? Is half a Hallmark store frock not good enough?

Dylan finally makes his way to his hometown and goes to the door of his house where he is greeted by his mother. A woman probably only three years older than the actor portraying Dylan. Are they against employing older actresses or does Hallmark just have a really good botox plan? Everyone always looks the same age. Before coming to the door we are treated with a treasure trove of Hallmark products strategically placed, all getting their own close up. If only I could have the item numbers displayed as well, my house could look like Rudolph took a crap of merriment in my house! But alas, this movie was made in 2015 so it I’ll have to be on the lookout on Ebay. Looks like casting goofed again when we are introduced to Dylan’s brother and fiancé. Dylan’s brother is about half his height and a few inches shorter than the fiancé the brothers fought over. And she’s no Lacey Chabert either, they could’ve found a more beguiling actress or at least put her in flats. Dylan asks mini to join him to get things out of the car. Dylan offered his congratulations as the brother finds the forgotten vision board. After seeing the vision board and the not so desirable fiancé, Dylan knows what he has to do.

At the club Paige helps herself to a hot roll and notes how fresh it was unlike the stale roll Dylan had the previous night. Ugh, how uncouth, she touched the roll. Where is the waiter to place it on her plate with gold tongs only fit for such wonderous pastry? This Paige is trash. Boozy offers to have her dress made by none other than famous wedding savant David Tutera. But Paige has no idea who he is. Wow, Paige is looking ditsy too. She works in the wedding industry but knows nothing about David Tutera? I guess his show didn’t appear on Hallmark so we’ll forgive her. Maybe she blew some neurons trying to squeeze into her second cocktail dress. Boozy warns her about picking a dress that doesn’t make her look too busty. Paige looks down as if to see her bosom overflowing in her second cocktail dress. Now Candace is pretty fit and I’d like to have that rocking bod but busty has never been synonymous with DJ Tanner. Oh thank goodness, here comes Dylan to make an awkward moment even worse by dragging that dumb ass vision board with him. Paige seeing the picture of them together on the hideous vision board makes her realize it wasn’t the wedding she was after it was the happily ever after. Seeing she couldn’t make that happen with Chiseled Chin she hands back the ring and goes after Dylan, leaving Boozy, Chiseled and Starchy to gawk at that eye sore of a vision board. Classy.

Dylan and Paige arrive at his mother’s house. Hopefully, Paige was able to pick up her luggage at the mansion to avoid any awkward moments. I’m sure the help lowered their music and stopped their celebrating while Boozy was out of the house to hand Paige her Walmart luggage. Our last scene has our couple entering the house that Christmas threw up in to meet the cougar mom, mini and his dowdy fiancé to settle in for a Hallmark tradition. I’m glad they had those two days to really get to know each other, probably a day longer than Frank and Maxine had and they made it twenty years.

#hallmark #christmas detour #candace cameron bure #holiday #christmas #winter #buffalo #ny #snow #hallmarkmovies #when calls the heart #myfirstpostbenice full house dj tanner

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modestlyabsurd · 5 years

Text

Divine (Loki x Reader)

Trying to ingress a home quietly is much harder than it seems. Especially when your feet might as well be sacks of rocks and your hands would rather not cooperate.

The sound of heavy approaching footsteps and keys jingling roused Loki from the trance of his story. His eyes light up, locking on the door waiting for it to open. A smile overtakes him. Your return is always a comfort.

The door opens. "Hey," you whisper as you pull your keys from the lock and close it securely. "I told you not to wait for me."

"I know, but..." he trails off, watching you kick off your shoes - not very neatly - at the door. He was particularly fond of you in this form; wild strands of hair framing your face, your cheeks flushed with exertion and your eyes drooping adorably.

"But what?" you saunter over to him. "You can't help but await the exciting event of my coming in and falling asleep?" Your sarcasm is weak. It's impossible to stay annoyed with Loki. The genuine happiness he exhumes when you arrive home from work is heartwarming at the least. And as much as you hate to admit it to him, arriving home to your shared apartment, your first home together with Loki every night is one of the most amazing parts of your life.

He's as cute as he can be, all curled up in his night clothes on the little loveseat you bought second-hand, a book in his hands, the amber lamp light casting regal shadows upon his face. The modestly sized TV plays softly in the background. His hair is loose and freshly washed. You sink into the loveseat next to him, soaking up every bit of it; the closeness, the smell of him.

"A hard shift?" his nose nudges your head.

"Yeah, it was." You sigh. Loki always looked forward to this. "There must've been some event happening that I didn't know about, because people were just coming in left and right in these big groups ordering drinks and shit. And it seemed like I got every single one of them; either that or everyone else was just conveniently unavailable to help. I didn't even get to take a break until last minute, which didn't even really count because we closed right afterward. Ridiculous."

You blew a piece of hair out of your face. Loki finds it incredibly sexy when you do that. The after-work rant!

He folds the book together and places it on the side table before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him. He gives you a long, full kiss on the temple of your head, and on your clothes he can smell both the raw scent of you, and the food you'd served all evening.

"Why do you continue to do it every night? Since it's so ... draining."

"I'll show you why," you shift on your legs to reach into your back pocket, subsequently leaning most of your weight into his shoulder. When you sit back down, a fat wad of green money appears in your hands, and you proudly spread the bills out like playing cards. "Two hundred and thirty-five dollars, baby."

Part of Loki is certainly impressed, as normally you jokingly declare "I'm making two hundred tonight!" before you leave for work. Seldom does it actually happen.

So, of course he gives you a high five.

"Are you proud of me?"

"Unspeakably proud, my love. Well done indeed."

Your cheeks become heated as they stretch from your huge smile.

"But you always make me proud. Even if you only make your salary."

"Goodness gracious, don't jinx me!"

You go to stand up, ignoring the dull ache in your back, and make way to the shower. The bun in your hair is nearly nonexistent at this point, which makes it much easier to untangle the hair tie from it.

After giving your hair a much-needed shake, you notice in the kitchen an empty sink. Complete with spotless countertops and the piney scent of cleaner.

"Who cleaned the kitchen?"

"I did."

"Sure you did," you blew off, and received nothing but an awaiting silence. "Wait, you actually cleaned?"

"I'm afraid so." He's so happy with himself.

"You've never cleaned anything!"

"Hey!"

"What? I'm not wrong. And what about your dinner?"

"Taken care of."

"Shut up."

"You know, a small bit of praise wouldn't be terrible."

Doing the dishes and wiping everything down was something you've always been used to doing for yourself, and never minded doing for Loki either. You just didn't expect those kinds of things from him - he always shows he cares in other ways - hence your surprise.

An eyebrow goes up as you rack your brain on the way to the bedroom. Gotta be a reason, you thought.

"No 'thank you'? Not even 'looks nice?'"

"What're you trying to get?" You lower your chin at him, and he turns pink immediately.

"Well, I wasn't exactly making a conscious attempt to get anything, but if you're offering -"

"I'm not."

Loki grits his teeth and whispers "damn" before flashing you a wink. He knows exactly which buttons to push to make you blush.

"You really didn't have to do that," your voice carries through the hallway as you enter the bathroom. Loki stays back, having learned after being yelled at so many times to not look as you undress for a shower. He doesn't understand it, why you're so shy when you're so beautiful. How even though he's bedded you, thoroughly bedded you, he still isn't allowed to look.

But alas he complies, since you seem exceptionally tired tonight.

"It truly wasn't any trouble, darling. I may have even enjoyed it. Just a bit. A small bit. A very tiny bit. Microscopic, borderline invisible - "

"Alright, alright, I get it!"

Loki laughs, gathering your work clothes from the floor. After tossing them in the laundry basket, he puts two clean towels in the dryer before making his way to prepare the bedroom. The gray sheets are still rustled from the morning, so he straightens and smoothes them out, fluffs the pillows. Lights a couple of your favorite candles.

He can hear you humming to yourself over the sound of showering water. Steamy air wafts in from the bathroom, bringing with it the smell of your shampoo. He breathes in. He wonders how in the Norns he got so lucky. He wants to peek in the shower, to hear your adorable shriek ... but he refrains.

"Loki!" you shriek from the shower.

Not quite what he had in mind.

In a couple steps he's in the bathroom. "What's wrong?"

"I got shampoo in my eye."

"Darling, I thought it was an emergency."

"It is an emergency!" Before you finish, a pale hand reaches through the shower curtain with a cloth. "Thank you."

Swish!

The curtain yanks back.

"Loki no! Get out!"

"My, my. What a wonderful sight."

"Loki I swear to God - give me the rag! It burns!" Oh how cute you are; wet skinb suds in your hair. Turned away giving a perfect view of your backside. Nursing your eye with one hand and scrambling to cover whatever you can with the other - which isn't very much.

The bathroom walls reverberate the deep, lovely laughs from the trickster.

When he's decided you've suffered enough, he pries the hand from your eye and places the cloth in it. "You're blushing, love."

"It's probably blood pouring from my eye, you dickhead!" Blindly, you grab for the curtain. Your stinging eyes can't tell that Loki is holding it out of your reach.

"Can you see?"

You huff. "Yes."

"Then look at me."

"No! Get out of here, you perv!" Even as angry, disrespected, frustrated, tired, and in pain as you are, no matter how hard you try you can't hide your smile. It used to be embarrassing, but now it's rather flattering - that he just has to steal a look at you every once in a while. That he thinks you're so attractive.

He makes you feel attractive, too.

"Fine," he sighs before dropping the curtain, casting a dim shadow in the shower.

The cloth helped the burning so you could finish rinsing the shampoo out of your hair. "Y'know, you could've just asked to join me. That would've been less pervy," you call out.

"It isn't my fault that you're so tempting. You're practically a walking tease."

"I literally burned my eye with shampoo, how is that teasing?!"

"Being gone for so long and then beckoning me into the bath, while you're showering, all for an eye injury."

"Oh, well please forgive me for accidentally getting acid in my eye while in a very vulnerable position. My bad, all on me."

This banter is nothing new. In fact, it's one of your favorite parts about Loki; being able to go back and forth with sarcasm, wits, and arguments of points, knowing that all is in fun.

Even if he is a dickhead.

The bathroom door creaks as it shuts, but before it latches Loki adds, "Oh, by the way?"

"Hm?"

"You are absolutely divine." Which is why I'll always look, even when you ask me not to.

"Mmm, whatcha doing?" Your sleepy voice calls.

Waking up in the middle of the night for no reason is unsettling enough. Then add not finding your other half sleeping peacefully next to you.

Loki is in the living room, curled up on the little loveseat with papers splayed all around him. Your worried voice has pulled him out of a concentration, making him spring up and approach you.

"Oh dear, are you alright? Have you had a nightmare?"

"If I did, I don't remember it," you yawned.

His hair is tied away from his face in a loose bun, the one you showed him how to do, and unlike you, he is wide awake.

"Why aren't you in bed? What's all those papers for?"

His head drops sadly, and he gently holds your elbows as they hang tiredly at your sides. "I didn't want you to know right away."

Your suspense and awareness is increasing by the second. "Know what?"

"I, ehm, I was eh," Loki sighs. He hates stumbling over words. "I was filling out employment applications."

"What?" you whisper, confused. "Why?"

He looks slightly over your shoulder, choosing the best words he can. "Because, I don't feel it's fair that the burden of financial security falls solely to you, when we are a team. You work so hard serving others every single night, just to have funds to provide everything for the two of us. You worked until eleven o'clock tonight and you've still got to work more tomorrow. I-I-I would just like, to, to perhaps share that burden. So that it doesn't fall on your shoulders alone."

By the time he's finished, he looks like he could cry. But he doesn't. He retains a composed, sure-of-himself appearance.

You're the one who cries like an idiot.

"Loki..." you drawl and your voice cracks, half from laughter and half from stifling tears of overwhelming gratitude. "Loki, you don't have to do that. I truly don't mind what I do."

"Yes, but we can both agree that you deserve a break. I know I don't have to. I want to. I live here as well; I consume food, I use electricity, I use the water. I'd like to make a contribution, I don't expect you to allow me to freeload."

His feelings have brought an unconscious smile to your lips. Loki always shows he cares in many different ways - his words are one of them - so much so that the financial aspect of your home together didn't make a difference to you. Sure, some months are more stressful than others, but going through it all with Loki by your side made it more than worth it.

You don't know what to say.

"Loki, you really don't have to do that, I - ouch - " your neck pops, "I don't mind at all working for us."

"Your body seems to disagree," he winks.

"Shut up. Hey, that massage really helped," your cheeks warm up.

It's a beautiful thing when he speaks his feelings honestly, unfiltered, straight from his heart. How could you turn that down?

While you let everything he's told you sink in, he grasps your head in both hands and interrupts the process with a sweet, mind-numbing kiss to your lips. Leaving you breathless and dizzy.

It's been over a year of living together, and his kisses still give you butterflies.

You sigh, still only inches from him, "You really don't have to."

"I know. I want to, my love."

Something pops into your mind. "But what about your ID? Your information? What do you plan on doing about that?" you begin to worry.

Loki bares his teeth and sucks air through them. "That's what I was a bit stumped about."

A thought-filled silence falls between you.

"I mean, you could apply for S.H.I.E.L.D."

He stiffens immediately. "Darling, I was thinking more along the lines of a florist or something."

"Think about it!" Oh dear. He knows that look. When your eyes get bright and your voice gets high, and you take his hands into your warm ones. "You could help with intelligence! Especially outer intelligence - you could help with research about Asgard! The life in the other realms! You're so smart, you know all about those things!"

He casts his gaze down, not bearing the pleading, soaring wonder in your eyes.

You shake his forearms, "C'mon, Loki. You wouldn't have to make up anything about yourself. This could even redeem what you've done in the past, or at least begin to. And plus, there's mad money in it. But that's not even what matters to me."

"I can't even begin to think about this," he turns away, pulling himself from you.

"Loki, don't do this," you say softly, but it's a demand. "Listen to me."

"You do not understand my position."

"No, I don't! I haven't seen what you've seen, I haven't done what you've done. You're one-hundred percent right."

The fabric of your flannel pajamas itches your leg. Loki picks at his palm, looking for something to look at.

"But I know you have potential. I know you're one of the smartest people I've ever met. I know you have so much to offer. And look!" you motion to the mess of papers around you, "You clearly have a desire to use it."

Carefully, slowly, you approach him. The icy outer layer can be very hard to break when he gets like this. His stone cold gaze doesn't lift, doesn't waver, but he relaxes ever so slightly at the touch of your hand to his wrist.

"You could change the world, Loki."

"What if I don't want to change the world?" whisper-quiet, his eyes meet yours. "What if I just want this little life with you? I'd like to take some of the responsibility off of your shoulders, yes, but what if just, just this, makes me happy?"

You wet your lips, as they've gone dry at his words. So many things going through your mind, so many emotions. But you push them aside, for the sake of your best friend. "Well, I would still support you. It would be a little hard, knowing that you have so much more potential than just this. But I'd still love you. I want you to be happy, no matter what."

Loki closes his eyes. He breathes in. He wonders how in the Norns he got so lucky. He wants to just scoop you up and hug you, cry into you until all of the emotions are out of him, but he refrains.

"I'll consider it." He takes your smiling cheek into his hand. So soft, he thinks. "Only for you. Because you make me happy."

tag list: @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @afinedilemma @fire-in-her-veinz @paradisaicsam @drakesfiance @internetgremlin @dragon-chica @triggeredpossum

#loki x reader #loki imagine #loki fluff #loki angst #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki #loki fanfic #tom hiddleston #thor #thor odinson #thor ragnarok #the avengers #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #marvel #marvel imagine #mcu #modestlyabsurd

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deanothecheynosaur · 4 years

Text

The Winter of the Witch (2019)

This is what happens when I get into a story. I read 1000 pages in three days.

Short synopsis:

The final installment of Vasya's journey comes with too much violence and too many sacrifices. Help comes in unexpected forms, but not always on time. Can Vasya be the bridge between the chyerti and the people of Rus'?

Long synopsis:

We rejoin Vasya immediately after the fire of Moscow. Olya wants to meet Morozko. It is apparently a question of if he can marry Vasya, although I think it's kind of moot (pretty sure Vasya agrees). For literal centuries, Morozko has been incapable of love, but he gives everything to keep Vasya alive. Pretty sure he's not going to wrong her. But whatever. I'm getting ahead of myself. Konstantin, with his delusions of grandeur, convinces an angry mob that Vasya is a witch and the city is being punished by God for her staying there. In the attempt to escape the mob, Solovey is lost. Vasya, in her panic, allows herself to be captured. While the mob was building the pyre, I sincerely thought that Konstantin was going to rape Vasya. But he just aggressively kisses her. Anyway, right before she is to be burned alive, Morozko appears telling her to live. Helpful. And then she is put in a wooden crate atop the pyre. Medved appears to help her because APPARENTLY Morozko traded his own freedom for Medved's so that he could save Vasya. Since it's spring and he's weak now. But homegirl refuses to let Medved help and, out of desperation, finds her magical abilities. Funny enough, later whenever she uses it, it's mostly the fire from her trauma. But she breaks out of the crate and flees. Varvara, Marya's nurse, steals her away from the mob. Medved tries to convince her to come with him. Vasya wants to save Morozko. Varvara says that to do that, she must take the Midnight Road. The Midnight Road is the land of all the midnights, guarded by the chyert Midnight (Polunochnitsa). Vasya runs, badly injured, with no idea where she's going. She meets some interesting characters in the forest there (including Baba Yaga), but Medved finds her and says that she can only find Morozko if their bond is strong, otherwise she will die wandering through midnights. Vasya outsmarts him (because she's owning her badass self now) with the help of Pohzar, the firebird horse of the same fleet as Solovey. But Morozko is trapped in memories of a different time, so he doesn't remember her. Vasya gets more and more bold, trying to jog his memory, until it works. They boned in a bathhouse. It's honestly hard to tell if she thought it would work or if she just wanted to regardless. I love her for it either way. So they leave the Midnight Road to hunt down Medved and trap him again.

Meanwhile, Medved is controlling Konstantin AGAIN (seriously? again?) but Konstantin knows what's going on this time. They're terrorizing Moscow so that Medved has his chaos, destruction, and death; Konstantin has his adoring fans, comforts, and distractions from his self-loathing. But somehow Dmitrii sees through the bullshit, and he helps Vasya, Morozko, and Sasha bind Medved. Konstantin kills himself to do it, but honestly, good riddance. Useless thing. But Medved fucked up Dmitrii's plan to pay off the Tatars, so now they're going to war. It's summer now, so Morozko cannot stay; Vasya insists on helping Dmitrii. Wish they would have boned again to say goodbye until winter came again. Alas.

Vasya and Sasha head south to find Olga's missing husband Vladimir Andreevich and get captured in the process. They are beaten and tortured to the point that Vasya is desparate. So she copies Morozko and strikes a deal with Medved to save Sasha and Vladimir, except she is a bit more thorough with her deal to the point that he's basically her servant. Good girl. Then Vasya, Pohzar, Medved, Sasha, Vladimir, Midnight, and her magical horse Voron, go to see Dmitrii and Sergei. Vasya says that to win, they will need the chyerti to help, but for that to happen, they have to promise to protect the chyerti. She also makes sure that Midnight is there to hear it so that she can tell the other chyerti what was said. Super smart, especially since Midnight is the most skeptical bitch ever.

The night before the war begins, the first frost comes earlier than usual. Obviously so that Morozko can see Vasya. Medved has been saying that Morozko would be furious, and granted, he's not happy, but they don't really fight. Not like they did over the necklace. She explains herself, he warns her about how dangerous it is, she says she knows but to save her if she's in over her head. Because we all know he will. And here again, I wanted at least a passionate make out sesh, but they just held each other. Which I suppose means that they're relationship is strong at this point, so that's good.

Vasya, Pozhar, and Medved join the war, but Morozko says he is only there for the dead (he is a fucking liar as soon as an arrow gets near Vasya). During the battle, there are major losses (one in particular). Vasya comes out alive, talking about all her plans for the future, including Morozko in most of them. Morozko gives her more gifts because he is the definition of EXTRA. Again, what a wonderful time to bone, but no. Apparently we only get that one chapter in the bathhouse.

This one was probably my favorite. The relationship between Vasya and Morozko has matured. Vasya learns how to deal with things in healthier, more effective ways. A lot of the characters are more mature: Sasha, Dmitrii, Konstantin towards the end of his life. The lines between good and evil are blurred. Although it still doesn't exactly have a soft spot for the Tatars, the real conflict is with honoring both Christianity and Pagan beliefs.

Overall, 4.75 stars.

#review #book addict #books #book review #2019 #the winternight trilogy #the winter of the witch #katherine arden #witch #pagan witch #russian folklore #russia #christianity

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cynoirsure · 5 years

Text

coconut pancakes | cyj

pairing — little brother!yeonjun & older sis!reader

word count — 2,148

genre — fluff

summary — your brother comes to stay during your last few weeks of break. did you forget to mention he was famous and part of the rookie group tomorrow x together? and he’s the idiot who threw out his back too.

warnings/tags — some minor language, but nonetheless this is all just pure sibling love!

a/n — originally this was gonna be part of the rush!beta tau universe and this was gonna be choi sib fluff :] but i decided to not do it!! i love yeonjun like a little brother although hes a month older than me, and also the reader and yeonjun are irish twins! so they’re born within a year of each other but they’re not twins, hence the reason why they’re so close! enjoy some fluff!!

also, there’s some lingo in here that i totally forgot to edit to say what they were, but konbini is slang for the convenience store and TLJ is just tous les jours, which is a bakery hehe~

---

The last days of your first summer vacation of university were upon you.

You had spent a majority of your time either in summer classes (which was seriously, your worst decision ever. It might have been to get the classes you do during the fall and spring semester out of the way, but sitting in a film class from 7 to 10 pm every night? Not only was it hard keeping awake in class every night, but now you can’t watch a movie without analyzing the camera angles and if the music was diegetic or non-diegetic) or working, and while you were happy you had a stable job with a good pay, this meant that you were rarely ever home. The restaurant that you were working at was only open for dinner service, and you as a server worked until midnight and didn’t get home until 1 am.

Thankfully enough, the summer classes had ended. You had two weeks before you had to pack up everything and move back into your dorms for 15 weeks and repeat the whole process over again, and you were going to spend every moment that you weren’t working catching up on the sleep that film class robbed of you.

Or at least, that’s what you thought.

See, your younger brother was an idol. An idol from the group Tomorrow X Together, who had been real popular in recent months for being a popular rookie group. You knew they were two awards in and you knew something in your gut was telling you that the end of the year awards show might either make or break them personally.

Alas, their schedules had been stopped for a while. Their leader had an infection in his eye and the eldest member had thrown out his back out or something.

Your brother had been the one to throw out his back, by the way.

Your parents thought it would be best for you to have Yeonjun stay over in your apartment, which was near your university in Seoul. You didn’t mind, but you felt a little bad because you were rarely home and that meant Yeonjun was lonely for most days.

On days you were home though, you tried to spend as much time as you can with him. The two of you would usually lounge around on the couch and talk about what the other missed while they were away, things that couldn’t be said in your family group chat. Yeonjun filled you in with all his wild stories from when he was in America with his band mates, and you filled him in with all your stories from your first year in college. It was something that you dearly missed, and since you two were close in age, you had a lot of similarities that weren’t just physically obvious.

The only difference between you two was that he was an early bird and you were a night owl. Yeonjun was used to the schedules waking him up at the hours that you would call it a night. The two of you had attempted to adjust your sleep schedules for the other, but he had also only been over for a few days and you were still getting used to sleeping earlier to adjust.

“Noona… I’m hungry.”

Yeonjun sleepily walked into your room, ruffling his hair. You were knocked out asleep, given the fact that you had only gone to sleep an hour or two prior to your younger brother coming into your room. He made his way to lay on top of you, earning a groan from under the bedsheets. You reached over to hit him with one of the Apeach plushes on your bed, the weight on your bed dipping and the younger boy clinging onto you.

“Why can’t you just cook for yourself? You keep saying in your lives that you’re the best cook but honestly, I’m starting to doubt it.” You mumbled sleepily, Yeonjun whining above you.

“Because noona, you don’t even have spaghetti. I can’t make spaghetti olio e aglio without spaghetti noodles…” Yeonjun nudged you softly, the pout that’s usually in his voice coming out more. “Plus, it’s like, 8:30. You need a regular eating schedule too, noona.” Yeonjun managed to pull you upright, letting you sit up on your own. You grabbed onto your pillow, blindly patting for your glasses before unfolding them and putting them on. Yeonjun had moved off your bed and opened your curtains, the bright light that’s usually hidden by your no-show curtains feeling like the artificial light after watching a movie in class.

“That can’t be the only reason, you and I both know that there’s a konbini and a TLJ across the street from here, you could’ve easily just bought yourself some like. Cake or something, I don’t know what you were craving.” You felt the weight dip down on the other side of the bed, and a little huff.

“... I missed noona’s cooking.” He whispered, leaning onto your shoulder. You stopped fiddling with the bedsheet, before sighing. You shifted slightly, Yeonjun moving off of you and both of you exiting the bedroom to go into the kitchen.

You opened your pantry, humming under your breath as you contemplated what to make for both of you for that morning. Your mind immediately went to pancakes, thinking about an early memory you both had shared.

“Yeonjunie, can you pull out the coconut milk from the fridge? Oh, and some butter and eggs…” You were busy yourself reaching for the dry ingredients from the fridge, Yeonjun’s smile splitting into a grin when he realized what you were making for him. He grabbed the refrigerated ingredients and some bowls for you, a small thank you in order as you began to measure everything.

“Coconut pancakes? How’d you know I was craving those specifically?” Yeonjun asked, grabbing a cup from the cabinet next to your head. He began to pour himself some of the mango juice in your fridge, following you around the kitchen like a baby duckling.

“It’s your favorite. You might be famous and all now, but that doesn’t mean your taste buds have switched up on me, right?” You shooed Yeonjun out of the kitchen, the younger one already knowing that you couldn’t do anything without music playing in the background. He walked over to your speaker system, plugging in his phone and scrolling for music. After a few beats of silence, Post Malone and Swae Lee’s Sunflower started playing on the stereo, a smile creeping up on your own face when you heard the song choice.

“I approve of this.” You laughed at the way that Yeonjun wiggled along to the song, your brother grabbing a glass of juice from the refrigerator and looking out of the window. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much light in my apartment either.” You noted, combining the dry ingredients into the wet. Yeonjun only laughed at your revelation, shaking his head.

“Because you wake up so late, noona. I thought you died when I woke up the first day here.” Yeonjun joked with no harm, but nonetheless a gasp came from you of fake offense.

“Bitch, I thought you died when they sent out the MGMA announcement that you weren’t performing. Did you throw it back too hard? Is that why your back hurts?” You teased, the playful banter familiar to you two. Yeonjun only laughed at your worry, shaking his head.

“I didn’t know you kept up with us that heavily, noona.” You froze, the batter of the pancake that you were beginning to flip over sizzling due to the uncooked side sliding over to the heat of the pan. You continued to flip the pancake in order to prevent further damage, rolling your eyes.

“Alright, you caught me red handed. I have Twitter notifications on for you guys… And I tune into all your V Lives too.” You confessed, a grin spreading on Yeonjun’s face. He set down his glass on the kitchen island where he’d start to clear up some of the mess of papers from your classes, stacking them in a corner before sneaking up behind you and hugging you from behind. You almost screeched, thwacking his hand gently with the rubber spatula you were using to cook the pancakes.

“Why don’t you just be affectionate with your brother like a normal sister?” Yeonjun pulled away, soothing the slap on his hand. He pulled the placemats from the drawer, placing them down and searching for the plates he had washed last night so you could put the pancakes on them after cooking them. “Hyuka’s sisters always text him, it’s cute.”

“Because I forget the family chat exists until you text us.” Your reply comes with a soft laugh. You place half of the pancakes on your plate and the rest on his plate, grabbing the whipped cream from the fridge and putting dollops of it on top of the stacks of pancakes you had just made. “It’s not intentional, but sometimes I’m so busy that I forget to look at my phone… The only time I look is when you post something or if you send pictures to our group. And then I realize it’s too late to text you…” You frown, picking up the plates. Yeonjun reaches for one of the plates you’re carrying, humming along to the music playing.

“You shouldn’t let that stop you, noona. Besides, we’re probably still in rehearsal by the time you’re done doing your school stuff.” Yeonjun smiled at you, nudging your shoulder as you round the table to sit next to him. You purse your lips, thinking over what your younger brother just said. “Plus, you make it seem like I’d be too tired to talk to you. Which, I never am, since we’re so close without being twins.” Yeonjun and you said grace before cutting into your pancakes, giving you time to let everything sink in. You stopped mid-chew, tears brimming at your eyes.

“Noona? Are you okay?” Yeonjun spun your bar chair around as well as his own, squishing your cheeks. You leaned forward and gave him a tight hug, a squeak coming from him before he laughed and hugged you back.

“I’m glad you’re my little brother, Yeonjunie. I would give you the world if it guaranteed us as siblings.” You smiled at him, Yeonjun only laughing as he rubbed your back. Sure, you weren’t the perfect older sibling, but Yeonjun knowing that you’re doing so many little things to contribute towards the success of their group was just enough for him. You decided it was a good idea to keep the conversation light again, so you hummed a note before you asked your next question.

“Are the babies treating you well?” You pulled back and continued to eat your pancakes. The mention of his younger members made Yeonjun groan, causing you to laugh.

“I swear they’re such bullies to me, noona. You watch the lives too right? I’m BULLIED by my members every time I invite them to play games with me!” The pout in his voice was enough to make you laugh, shaking your head.

“This is why they call you the fake maknae, Yeonjunie. You allow yourself to get bullied by the other members…” Yeonjun punched your arm lightly, grinning.

“That’s why I love staying with you, because you don’t know it but you baby me. I don’t have any responsibilities when I’m here.” He grinned. You sighed, rolling your eyes as you swallowed more of the pancakes.

“Because you threw it back too hard. I’m supposed to look over you, I’m not a shitty sib, Yeonjunie. And because you said you don’t have responsibilities here, I’m making you wash the dishes.” You heard a whine from him, the two of you finishing up your pancakes while Jeremy Zucker played in the background.

The dishes ended up being a partner deal, and after breakfast you two decided to go to the supermarket to pick up some more things before you headed off to work. The car ride to the supermarket was filled with music, the two of you singing obnoxiously loud to Fancy (no matter how annoying you thought the song was), as well as peppered with Yeonjun’s terrible dad jokes. (“you need to stop hanging out with Seokjin oppa. He’s tainting your already bad dad jokes.” “that’s not very nice of you”)

“Noona?” Yeonjun called your name as you were putting away the yogurt in the refrigerator, him putting the spaghetti away in the pantry. You closed the refrigerator, raising an eyebrow at your younger brother.

“What’s up?” You saw a smile spread across his face as the two of you made eye contact, his head bobbing.

“Nothing, I just wanted to say you’re the best, but I’m pretty sure you already know that.”

#tomorrow x together #yeonjun #choi yeonjun #txt #txt yeonjun #txt fluff #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun x reader #txt imagine #txt au #THIS IS SO HARD TO TAG IDK WHY #my fics #miss snapitbts was reading this along with me while i was writing it #and i forgot that she was on the doc so she typed 'im soft'#and i got very confused as to who it was #she was mad at me KBJNDFKLGJ #anyways im soft and i love yeonjunie

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chenoehi · 4 years

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1, 10, 17, 18, 44, 49 for the bts asks!!💕

👋👋👋 Thank you for these questions! They made me think lol (also you're an MVP for always keeping up with me when I live blog performances 😭)

FUN BTS ASKS <-

1. How and when did you get into BTS?

This is the shorter version bc I'm working on a personal post about this actually:

When: Last week of October 2018 in Orlando, Florida, where I was 'vacationing' while also working and basically having one of the most miserable, low weeks of my life.

How: I'd known about them since at least 2017 and watched them perform at the AMAs from afar, I listened to DNA after that, the song didn't grab me (it still doesn't 😭), and for a while I was seeing BTS content come across my tl, specifically Jimin content and he became my recruitment fairy, but the day LY in Paris had also happened recently and jikook decided to do them and all of a sudden a blog I followed spammed my tl with the jikook lap incident. At that point I'd seen BTS trending on tumblr tons of times and I saw them trending for the Waste it On Me teasers. I got interested and I listened to it when it came out but I was totally confused bc they were singing in English. So that led to me watching the classic YouTube "Who Are BTS?" videos which led me to watch one video that tested your knowledge of their voices and played clips for you to guess, and that led to my absolute obsession with Let Me Know which led to a mini breakdown when I couldn't find the song on Spotify so I listened to every. damn. song. starting. from. love yourself. Until I realized I could just Google the English lyrics and find the song that way. And then the Muster DVD content came out or was circulating literally at the same time so I got to see all the nice KM content and yeah, I basically just got hooked over the course of my week in Orlando, I walked around Disney Springs blasting Anpanman in my headphones, worked all through the night with Magic Shop, slept with my headphones on and The Tturh Untold in my ears, all because they're crackheads I love and not to be dramatic and shit but they kind of saved me when I was drowning.

10. Your favorite cover of BTS? (Doesn’t matter if it’s one of Jungkook, Taehyung, Jin, etc.)

I guess this means covers of BTS songs that other artists have done right? I really don't listen to many covers of BTS except sometimes I listen to piano versions on SoundCloud. I do listen to a cover of "The Truth Untold" by Emma Heesters on Spotify. It's probably not the best cover but I just haven't really sought out any others. .

17. Whose fashion style do you like the most?

Hmm. Well, Jimin is our pretty boy and I do always like seeing what he's wearing, I love Hoseok's style, I feel like Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi are more ambiguous, and I like Taehyung's unique style.

But, it's JK. Big. Black. Comfy.

18. Which member matches with your personality the most?

Yoongi/Namjoon/Taehyung

I'm like Yoongi in the sense that neither of us tend to be the most outgoing or life of the party, he can be very quiet when he wants to be and he's pretty laid back in general. We also both like to sleep a lot, and I don't think Yoongi has a black and white view of the world, or at least that's the impression I get. So I'd gather he's one of the least judgmental among them. I also connect to his mental health struggles.

I'm like Namjoon in the sense that we both love nature, trees, and although I don't have immediate access to parks, museums, things like that, if I did I'd be on a bike roaming around or walking or going to see cultural events and all that good stuff. Alas I am not. I also think we have similar ways of thinking with regard to life. I specifically connect to his mental health struggles similar to Yoongi, although I believe Namjoon has dealt with and still deals with things more in line to what my experience is like, but with different contexts of course.

Taehyung. Sweet child. He was the member I connected to the least really just up until these past few months. But the truth is I may be more like Taehyung behavior wise than any of the others. I've caught myself lately watching him say or do things and saying to myself "Taehyung is me I am Taehyung." It's honestly scary sometimes. One time I was watching BTS play this quiz to see what member they were (which lol) and I found a lot of my answers aligning with his. I think coming from a background of farmers and from things I've seen he likes nature as well and like Namjoon he's a lover of art. He also has a habit of wearing less expensive clothes and making them look nice; I lol'd when I saw that he'd been buying inexpensive women's blouses marketed to women around 40 or so 😭 He just has a unique style and while I wouldn't say that I dress like him exactly I do sometimes gravitate to more old school styles. I also wear clothes for the opposite gender a lot.

44. If you were given the chance to say one sentence to all of them, what would you tell them?

To JIMIN: Jimin, you do have jams.

To JK: What was tasty in Busan?

To HOSEOK: What did JK text you on your last day in Malta?

OK OK time to get serious

To JK: Be confident in yourself because you are a wizard, our smart Ravenclaw, and you can accomplish anything you put your mind to; your 50% effort blows away everyone else's 100%.

To JIMIN: I think the way you sing is healing and I think you know best what works for your unique voice.

To HOSEOK: You are a son your parents can be proud of, and you should be very proud and confident in yourself because you're perfect.

To YOONGI: Please never stop writing songs about things that matter because people care and we want to hear your voice.

To SEOKJIN: "Tonight" is one of my favorite songs. You should feel happy with how you honored your pets.

To TAEHYUNG: Your grandmother would be very proud of you if she could see you.

To NAMJOON: Thank you for being the gravity holding our galaxies together.

49. What kind of concept would you like to see in the future?

Hmmm. They've done so much already. . I think it would be interesting to explore the route of Dionysus a little more, maybe a little more similar to their earlier styles with heavier rap parts, maybe an infusion of rock? I'm seeing a lot of hip hop lately that's been inspired by rock so that would be interesting. Or they could do something else and maybe infuse some EDM tracks? I know what they've done lately is more pop but I think they've only touched on EDM.

As for concepts. . I don't really know what to add?? They've done light, dark, PINK, youthful, school, soft, grrr, . . . Maybe something mature like a look more in line with MOTS: vol. 2 & 3? Those were more serious like Tear but instead they could go more toward vol. 2 and come out with like evening wear, suits (fitted), or ugh more pajama wear my god, and looks similar to what they did for SY tour Singularity and Fake Love performances? I'd love to see Hoseok in another red suit like his Final Just Dance stage . . Yes.

Hope you liked this 💜

#bts asks #bts #bangtan #ask #ask jiminielatte #personal post #personal

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levyowl · 5 years

Text

How Epic Mickey could fit into the Kingdom Hearts Universe so Oswald can get the Love and Attention he Deserves: The Text Post

Ok, so it’s been confirmed that Nomura really wants to add our favorite lucky rabbit into the KH universe, but for some reason, Disney told him getting the rights to Oswald would be ‘difficult’ for whatever reason. I know Oswald used to be owned by another party, but when Epic Mickey was being pitched, Disney bought back the rights, so they now own him fully. I’m not sure why Disney wouldn’t just let Nomura use him, seeing as they’re sure as hell aren’t.

As you can imagine, this is pretty sad. A surprising amount of people love Oswald, including myself. But it honestly got me thinking about how Epic Mickey could fit into Kingdom Hearts. They have some vague similarities, seeing as a lot of the older characters, such as Horace the Horse, make an appearance in both games, EM has some talk of hearts, but obviously, the rules of what a heart is is different in both games, etc.

So, as you can imagine, this was a bit of a challenge for me to think of, and this is going to be a long post. But I’ve been seriously reflecting on this topic for a while, so much so that I wrote this post on a Google Doc so I could properly get my thoughts together before I posted this.

Also, you never know if Disney could change their minds or Nomura goes through all the possible legal stuff and get Oswald into the game, so all of this could just me pointlessly screaming into the void, but I don’t care; I’m making this post. And keep in mind that this is what I personally would do with it. I am in no way a professional game director like Nomura, and if Oswald does make it into a KH game, it will probably be done better than my idea. Though keep in mind, my idea is kinda convoluted just like the rest of KH’s plot OOOOO lol jk. With all of that said:

All of this takes place between the events of BBS and KH1.

Disney Town and the world of EM are the same. Sorta (this will have to do with why Disney Castle is more pronounced in the overworld art in the timeline after BBS).

All the residents in EM live in DT.

Oswald is the Mayor of DT (Or at least the small town area we see in BBS).

We presumably don’t see him in BBS because he was too busy running the town in the background. Queen Minnie and Duchess Daisy were there to oversee the Dream Festival for him.

Oswald is personal best friends with King Mickey. Like, everyone jokes about them being brothers all the time.

After the events of BBS, we see Pete be freed from his prison by Maleficent. Right after this, Pete asks for help for immediate revenge on the residents.

Maleficent decides to completely destroy the world as you do.

More specifically, she wants to make the world fall to darkness and wipe the world and its residents from the minds of others (think of it like Xion’s disappearance)

Firstly, to get Pete further indebted to her so he’ll go along with her plans without question.

Second, if everyone forgets about Donald, Goofy, Minnie, and Mickey after they were to fall to darkness, then that’s several enemies she wouldn’t have to worry about anymore.

Thirdly, she could use the hearts of the residents to create a powerful army of Heartless.

The fourth reason was she was feeling particularly bitchy that day.

All the while, Yen Sid senses the sudden spike in darkness in DT.

He warns Mickey about Pete and Maleficent, but orders Mickey to stand back and observe for now, as he only just became a Keyblade Master and Yen Sid isn’t sure if he can take her on by himself.

But ofc Mickey goes back to DT with Yen Sid’s Star Shard to confront Maleficent anyway.

However, he’s too late; Maleficent’s already started the spell.

Mickey fights past Pete but can’t quite make it to Maleficent before she creates a portal in the sky straight to the World of Darkness.

The residents, including Oswald, start to get sucked into the portal. As this happens, Mickey starts to forget some of them. (Like how Roxas’ memories of Xion faded slightly before and after she ‘died’)

Just like Roxas, Mickey gets a bit of a power boost in a desperate attempt to stop Maleficent and remember Oswald.

Before they get completely sucked in, Yen Sid uses his magic to change the destination of the portal and quickly creates a small ‘pocket world’ in his tower within an enchanted scroll on his desk with magic paint and thinner ala the Fantasia world in DDD (I’m sure you can see where this is going).

However, due to the darkness of Maleficent’s spell and the fact he rushed to make it, the world he created was a dark and twisted version of DT.

And since the spell was to make the residents fall to darkness, they all lost their hearts. However, in the world Yen Sid made, time doesn’t exist (just like the WoD), so they don’t become Heartless/Nobodies; they’re stuck in-between the process.

They still have their emotions and memories, but without their hearts, they can’t leave the world.

Besides, even if they could, they would only become Heartless and/or Nobodies.

Mickey manages to use his Star Shard to transport himself, Pete, and Maleficent to the Keyblade Graveyard before she sucks in all the residents, but Oswald and the others who appear in EM are sucked in and forgotten.

Yen Sid, due to the trans-dimensional/spatial and magical properties of his tower, is the only one who remembers.

Considering that not even Maleficent remembers what happened now, she takes Pete and teleports away to do whatever she did between BBS and KH1 plan her revenge.

Mickey, confused as to why he’s suddenly in the Graveyard again, teleports back to the Mysterious Tower.

Yen Sid tells Mickey about what happened, but Mickey can’t help but feel a little detached since he can’t remember any of it.

However, when Yen Sid mentions Oswald, Mickey feels a sadness in his heart that he can’t quite explain. A single heart rolls down his cheek.

Yen Sid tells Mickey how he needs to go into the scroll and fix the world. He tells Mickey that he can’t fix the darkness from the outside, and how he can sense Heartless in the scroll.

Mickey grabs the paintbrush and dips it into the paint.

“What do you mean? Couldn’t we just use the paint and thinner to fix the problem here?”

“Mickey, don’t!”

Mickey, surprised by Yen Sid’s outburst, jumps back.

In the process, he accidentally knocks over the paint and thinner onto the scroll.

OhDearGodWhatHaveIDone.jpg

Mickey tries to wipe up the liquid puddle on the scroll, but it’s too late; Yen Sid tells Mickey that the damage is irreversible here on the outside.

With Mickey’s only option made clear, he jumps into the scroll.

From here, the events of EM play out pretty much the same, with some differences.

The real world references in EM are either completely missing or made a lot more subtle (things like the Walt Disney statue with Oswald are removed while small things in the levels are still there).

The Blotlings are a new type of Heartless instead of just monsters.

The magic paintbrush Mickey brings with him turns into the Epic Masterpiece Keyblade.

The “multiple Petes” in EM are animatronics this time, based off of other personas of the KH Pete (like Captain Justice and Captain Dark)

Characters like Smee who were in KH before while also in EM would just be animatronics.

The Donald, Daisy, and Goofy animatronics were made by Oswald to try and replicate their powers to protect them from the Heartless. This obviously failed.

The Mad Doctor was obsessed with experiments with the heart, like Xehanort before and during EM (tho obviously not as bad or as successful as he was).

Oswald and the Mad Doctor were working on these animatronics before Maleficent tried to wipe them out (The Donald, Daisy, and Goofy animatronics were incomplete before they were sucked in, hence why they’re so damaged in EM).

Oswald was named King of Wasteland in place of Mickey.

If everyone were to remember the residents, they could possibly get their hearts back.

The hurt and betrayal that Oswald felt in EM are not because Mickey got the spotlight and replaced him; he’s upset because Mickey, who was a brother for him, doesn’t remember him anymore. And even worse, he caused the Thinner Disaster.

At the end of EM, Mickey regains his memories of the residents and especially Oswald.

He wants to bring them out, but they can’t leave without their hearts.

Mickey is torn because he knows the Wastelands, while fixed for now, are still dangerous as the Heartless could possibly come back and the Mad Doctor is still on the loose.

But even if they could leave, bringing them back would possibly bring back everyone’s memories of them, including Maleficent’s, so it’s dangerous either way.

So Mickey does the next best thing he can think of: he bequeaths Oswald.

Since Oswald doesn’t have a heart, he couldn’t summon a Keyblade the natural way, so Mickey hands him the Epic Masterpiece Keyblade.

However, Mickey’s bond with Oswald was so strong that when he handed it to Oswald, his hearts reacts to it even though it’s so far away from Oswald’s body.

Basically, the bond and memories that Mickey shared with Oswald were strong enough to call to Oswald’s heart for the Keyblade to spring from.

It’s called the Lucky Remote Keyblade, (Obviously based off of his remote from EM2).

Mickey leaves Wasteland after promising to tell only those trustworthy about them.

Basically, only Mickey, Yen Sid, Donald, Goofy, Minnie, Daisy, Chip, and Dale remember the residents of Wasteland to any extent. They all keep the secret. (Mickey probably told Ventus, Aqua, Terra and the others about it after KH3.)

Donald treats it just like he treats the Order; if anyone even remotely hints at it, he scolds them like he does Sora.

EM2 is canon; all the previous notes apply. Those events take place before KH1 but obviously waaay after EM1 in the timeline (Ten years is more than enough time for both of these games to happen before KH1).

Well, there you have it! This post is way too long and I’m tired :’)

Maybe I’ll draw the Keyblades and my redesign for a KH! Oswald at some point, but this is more than enough for now.

#kingdom hearts #epic mickey #kh #this post is three pages long in a Google Doc I hope you appreciate my sacrifice lol #my idea #my concept #my post #levyowl

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