#somehow this is worse than saying something that could be later found cringe in some circumstance

[relto]

right, i usually dont make compliments because it sends the Torture Machine into overdrive for some reason. ugh

#tütensuppe #even when the person reacts positively!! doesnt matter heres the shame reel. #bus driver made some fun announcements like youd usually hear on a flight #and i had to tell him i enjoyed it #here we go! shame reel! #somehow this is worse than saying something that could be later found cringe in some circumstance

[3mutantsinatrenchcoat]

Juicy jury angst

@angelpuns owns Eugene (no hate towards him PLEASE, I wrote this on my own and with permission to show Eugene angry)

Don't worry guys! They are still family, just having a little bit of a fight

Tw/cw: cigarettes, fighting, dissociation, alot of guilt (from three), slight descriptions of feeling like body melting, Three not taking accountability for half of the story

Hurt no comfort

---

Now, he will admit he is a thief. He steals from big Mama, he steals from yokai, people on the street, stores…anything shiney he can get his hands on. His greedy little hands.

If he could, Three would probably steal candy right from a baby. Not because he is mean, not because he is evil. Simply put he doesn't understand the world, he sees people have things he thinks people he cares about should have…and,...well. He takes them.

He usually never steals from those close to him but his boss, Eugene…well, he wouldn't let him have something. And he wanted to be just like him, but stores won't let him buy it and he can't get behind the counters so he went into his room.

He snatched the plastic lighter and the carton of cigarettes and sat in the middle of the room. He struggled to strike the lighter before he decided to use the flames coming from his jaw to light it.

It didn't take long for the smell of the bitter smoke to fill the air in the room. He didn't have a lower jaw but he did his best to copy how he remembered Eugene using them, breathing in….

And oh that BURNT. It burnt his throat and his chest, leaving him coughing it up, only adding the burn to his nose hole and the roof of his top jaw, some of the smoke coming out from his eye sockets.

Three cringed at it, he didn't understand how Eugene could do it. But Eugene was cool and strong so of course he had to do it too!

Eugene would never do anything that's purposely bad for him! So maybe it's just a new experience he had to live through.

He never saw Saturn do it, or Ra. Only Eugene and a few of the guards off at the hotel.

Or the people in their fancy get ups and makeup and masks, hair heavily sprayed with hair products and longer cigarettes that smell even worse than these ones.

But what hurt more was when Eugene found him not even a few minutes later. He could see the anger in his flames as they raised a little higher. He could feel the anger through his stomps, how he snatched the cigarettes out of his hand, how his voice sounded rougher as he screamed at him.

He couldn't hear what Eugene was saying, it was as if he tuned it out. It wasn't intentional he just…couldn't. It was as if Eugene was screaming at him from under water. He just…couldn't hear him.

He could only hear bits and pieces of it as Eugene took the items from his hands.

"DON'T TOUCH MY SHIT"

"LITTLE CROOK"

"GET OUT!"

It wasn't everything he said but it's what he caught onto the most. He starts zoning back into the conversation as Eugene grabs him by the arms and takes him out the room, firmly planting him outside the door before slamming it shut.

Three turns and looks at the door, frustration growing in his chest. Eugene could smoke so why couldn't he!? And so what if he touched them he was going to buy a new pack next time he went out!

He gets up and storms to his room. He doesn't even know what Eugene said, he doesn't. He knows three sentences. So it isn't like he can just figure out exactly what to say when Eugene calms down.

He closes his door and climbs onto his bed. He hated this, when they fought. Not…not play fought like genuinely fought. When the two would get angry and snap at each other and walk away. Sure they would be okay later but…this time it felt different, it felt worse.

It didn't help that the frequency from Eugene was off, it felt angry. It felt…somehow worse than how Big Mama's angry was.

What was he to do…what could he do?...

Nobody was home, he wouldn't be allowed down the stairs because of the baby gate…he doesn't know what exactly got Eugene so mad about it. I mean he knew that taking the cigarettes was bad, but it isn't like half the gifts he gives them aren't stolen! He's never gotten in trouble with it before so why was he now?..

Not only that Mama Saturn and RA were out in town for the whole day…so what could he do. He couldn't ask them what to do.

He didn't like this, his throat still burned, his chest hurt and his hands hurt. He didn't like this, he sat there in silence staring at the ceiling for what felt like forever.

He gets up and hops off the bed, heading down the hall to Eugene's room, he turns the handle and opens it, seeing the baby gate put between him and the room.

"Eugene I wanna sit in there with you" he looks at him sitting at his desk. He watched Eugene glances at him and then go right back to what he was doing.

"Eugene! I want to sit in there remove it-" he pushes on the baby gate.

He huffs and watches Eugene through the bars before he tries to climb it, struggling. "Eugene! Are you still mad!" He huffs and grunts as he slips and lands back on the floor.

He huffs and looks between the gate at Eugene, who still ignored him. Three felt the hurt in his hands get worse as he stands up and sticks his arm through it. "Eugene!.."

He couldn't get to him, he hated this. He wanted to be in there with him like he usually is. He grunts as he tries to reach him, even though Eugene was a good few feet away.

"Brother!" He shouts at him, his voice cracking with desperation before Eugene stood up. Three's tail wags slightly and he backs up to be let in only for Eugene to reach over the baby gate and slam the door, without so much as a look at him.

His tail slowly stops and he stares at the door, blinking a few times.

"... Eugene..?.." his voice cracks slightly, he must have really pissed him off now. He didn't understand, all he did was try to be like HIM. What was wrong about that? He knew it wasn't taking the cigarettes because he's from other people before.

He looks at the stairs and notices the gate was moved from there to Eugene's door. He looks back at the door and tries to open it only to hear the clicking of the lock protesting.

Eugene locked him out. He never locks him out. Three slowly heads back to his room, hugging himself. He must have really messed up…and this time he didn't know how to fix it.

He didn't know what to do, he messed up so bad that his brother won't even look at him. Was Eugene mad about him calling him that? Was that why Eugene was mad?

Thoughts flood into his little skull as he tries to figure out what needs to be fixed, he can fix it he swears he can. He doesn't want to end up back at that void if he can't fix it. It's COLD.

It's cold and he doesn't have anyone there. But if he can't fix it...

No, no it's okay. Three has to reassure himself. Because Big Mama has the bracelet, not Eugene.

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive because as soon as he thought about her he felt the center of chest squeeze. He gasps slightly and takes a few steps to his bed before the squeezing tightens, his legs crumble quickly and he drops to the floor, his flames dying quickly and dripping into liquid on the floor, he swore he felt half his face melting, even though it wasn't.

He couldn't feel Eugene's frequency, and it scared him but as soon as the grip loosened it was right back to where it was, thrumming through the floor and the air.

He gasps softly as tears build up, he feels nauseous. The liquid slowly stops dripping and goes back to the fine mist then back to the flames.

He had to get ready to go. He would be gone a whole week…and. He needed to talk to Eugene right now.

He couldn't leave Big Mama waiting but he couldn't leave Eugene mad. He slowly gets back to his feet and walks back to Eugene's door. He hesitates before knocking. "Eugene?..."

No answer. So he tries again…still no answer.

Final time, Eugene swung the door open, his hands shaking. "Three, leave me the fuck alone. I don't want to see you right now"

Three hesitates before looking at him. "I gotta-"

"I don't care!" Eugene drags his hand down his face in annoyance before huffing. "Leave me alone, you stole from me. I can't TRUST you right now."

Three stares at him, realizing he was in trouble for taking the cigarettes. He didn't get a chance to respond before the door shut again.

And just like that three felt the warm tears building up, he messed up. He messed up and there was no time to fix it. He slowly turns and walks down the stairs, hand on the wall.

He had to leave, to go fight and he didn't even know if Eugene would text him at all while he was gone. Would he even care?...would he pick him up at the end of the road?

Three walks out the house and lets in a shaky breath. While he is gone…he can go find something to fix it. And when he gets home…all will be better.

#threewrites #juicy jury #rise sonas #rottmnt sonas #tw guilt #cw guilt #tw fighting #cw fighting #tw cigarettes #cw cigarettes #tw mentions of body melting #cw mentions of body melting #tw dissociation #cw dissociation

[thatfilthyanimal]

did u go to dashcon? if so what was that like?

Oh lmao I guess you saw my twitter post about that? Well yeah! I did! In fact, a good chunk of Megamind fans went together as a fandom meet-up! In case you needed any proof:

(I don't remember the artist of the Megamind keychain, sorry. I bought it off etsy ages ago :D;;) But I also regret to inform everyone that I had a Nice Time at DashCon despite the shitshow I learned about it while there and after leaving it, but mostly because the fandom group I was with was, er... actually competent and good at planning in ways that don't fuck folks over? (minus ONE person but that's not my story to tell tbh) But it was a nice, chill small con with interesting panels and a pretty widely diverse group of nerds all there with their nerdy friends being nerds. Like literally I can't complain about it. One of the panels that was mocked on Tumblr by name alone was run by my friend Dani-Kin and was, actually, a GREAT panel, which was running over time because people didn't want to LEAVE it. I was also at an 18+ panel that security came into to pull someone (apparently underage?) out of, and Tumblr made a huge deal of that too as if the con was somehow just ~allowing~ that to happen. Basically it was a nice little con crowd-and-panel-wise and from just a casual visitor's perspective, I was fine. I've been to way worse panels at bigger cons, like Midwest FurFest, tbh. (I'm looking at you, panel about "asexuality" that was trying to reinforce the idea that asexuality is strictly sex-repulsion, which it is NOT, but I'm grumbling off-topic here.) The rest of it was a shitshow that I managed to mostly dodge by hanging with my friends, but something about last-second begging for money happening at the con and people just handing over their cash to help without any receipts or anything. There was also a HUGE group that I wanna say paid extra for a live episode or something of Welcome To Night Vale that got shafted because the con apparently didn't pay the WTNV guys to be there when they agreed to, so they bounced and fans waited in line for quite a while, waiting to see them. (I can't blame them for choosing to fuck off when they did, they didn't know if they'd ever get paid and that's pretty shit.) BUT the Megamind fandom group I was with was awesome, we rented out two of the large suite rooms near one-another and bounced between them to hang out and be loud and obnoxious together and meal-planned and stuff and it was all-around a good time, for me. It was also that con I discovered that I was in love with Vamp, who 8 years later is my fiancé and we live together! My partner (hi, poly) Dal also got engaged to his husband in Megamind cosplay there and like, it can't get much cuter than that. I sadly did not see the ball pit. However I did pick up my badge in the room the ball pit was IN, and it's a MASSIVE room, like impressively massive, like you probably could park airplanes in it, which makes the ball pit look even smaller than it was, apparently. Good times. (Oh and I also found a random new yellow DashCon staff shirt which I've squirreled away in a box somewhere cause I thought it was hilariously telling of the state the con ended up in. I assume the person who left it was fed up, as it was pretty far into the con's chaos when I found it.) Idk if this is the kind of answer you wanted, anon, but the TL;DR is I had a good time because my group was awesome, and while some stuff was exaggerated for cringe clout on The Tumbles or whatever there was a lot of terrible shit also which I entirely dodged due to fucking off with my group when it happened, like the scrambling for funds last-second and such. Maybe someone else from the DashCon Megamind group can weigh in on that stuff! Sometimes when we end up driving into Schaumburg I see the old con hotels and look at it fondly now, tbh. The hotels we stayed at are next to the closest Ikea to me, so we end up there now and then. :3

#Megamind #DashCon #is it cool yet to say I went to DashCon? #will it EVER be cool to say it? #no? #aight

[chocolate-teapots]

Upper East Side: Park Jimin

                                       ●╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮●

                                      The bitch is back and she’s coming

                                                        for blood. 

                                      ●╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯●

Warnings: toxic rich friends, toxic bts, angel jimin, body shaming, cheating, cringe, mentions of threesomes, jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation, public humiliation.

"Is that last season's Armani hanging from her hog body?"

This was the night of the year. My parent's annual fundraiser party was always a hotspot but this year I was more excited as they took more responsibility in the planning. Cameras were flashing around the historical golden hall, anyone who was anyone sauntered in the middle of the room screaming for attention as people whispered on the sidelines.

"Stop watching that drag race shit Nina."

Unlike the rest of the dysfunctional functional families on the upper east side, mine had genuine intentions when it came to their generous donations to charity. We had a shared vision of making the most of what we were fortunately given and doing something good with it.

"I can't help it, I liveee for the gags."

However, the people invited relished all the good publicity by accepting invites graciously knowing that it will do wonders for their image and unfortunately your image was your first impression in the community.

"Your mother really outdid herself this time Y/N," my best friend Hani gawked at the huge gold chandeliers dripping from the ceiling and completely ignoring my involvement.

I followed her gaze with wonder and pride, sipping my champagne wondering how that amazing woman could get any more amazing. The venue was perfection, with Italian and french design details that were palace-like. We wanted royalty.

"For sure Y/N, you think she'll do the designs for my big sleepover party this year?" Nina, my other best friend, quizzed beside us probably already wondering how these chandeliers and crystal glasses would look in her bedroom in autumn.

Everyone was here from school. Hani and Nina stayed by my side for the majority of the night as we giggled and reminisced about relationships and what the hell Charlie Fish's socks said on the side.

"I swear it says, Goof Rhymes!"

The rest of the school crew were mingling around somewhere, probably reminiscing or trying to make newer memories if you know what I mean. Something strange about the close relationship between the seniors of St Judes was the fact we had all dated/had sex with each other at some point, even the guys and girls with each other.  

"No way! You're blind. It clearly says 'Gond Fames'!"

I had dated all seven of those boys, regretfully, but there was only one I had ever loved and it still hurt a year later. The girls also had a certain fixation on some of them more than others. Jungkook and Nina, as the youngest of us all immediately latched onto each other and never let go (as unhealthy friends of course with a few added benefits. Hani and Yoongi had declared some kind of war between them the moment Yoongi slept with some random girl at a party thinking it was her.

He was very sorry.

She was very pissed.

"Gond Fames? Is that even real words?"

We had all been merry friends since the very beginning of our trust-fundom but I never felt like I belonged. And she knew it. Gossip Girl somehow always found a way inside of our chain and knew exactly how to unlink us one by one until we were forced apart. No one knew who she was and yet she was a part of us all. The first thing anyone on the upper east side would think as soon as they did something was-

"Oh, I hope Gossip Girl hasn't found out about my tequila threesome with Namjoon and my cousin! I'd just die!"

All of us would be on eggshells all day every day to see who she would target, waiting for our lives to be ruined with news we probably would've never known if it weren't for some messed up kid and their laptop.

Yet, what was even worse was when Gossip Girl was quiet because then you knew she wasn't taking a break she had something really good and was just waiting for the right moment to drop it.

Cut to now.

"When do you think Gossip Girl is gonna post again? I kind of miss her talking about my daddy issues," Nina pouted, her thick pink lips glistening under the rich lights decorating the endless room.

"Who cares? We're finally being left alone, enjoy it," I admit, sipping on the champagne and a little too familiar feeling of bubbles and haziness jumbling inside of me for an 18-year-old.

Park Jimin walks through the archway in a black Chanel suit and incredibly styled hair, saying nothing and already he had ruined my life again. He always looked elegant, presentable, the definition of sex. The man oozed sex appeal and yet his invites to these things always seemed to have gotten lost in the mail. Jimin wasn't a trust fund rich kid like the rest of us but we have all been close the moment he started to beat the champion dancer Hoseok in his own damn sport.

I place down my glass, not liking the empty spot on his arm.

"Excuse me."

I lift my black Valentino as I walk over to him, trying my best to hide my nerves behind the long dress and gold chains but it wasn't working. I just wanted to greet him, to hear his voice again considering we hadn't spoken in just a short of a year.

"Park Jimin," I greet him and he nods, pretty eyes giving me and my dress an unidentifiable look. I was starting to crumble in his presence. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't come."

Fake conversations. Keeping up appearances.

"Y/N, you look beautiful," he kisses my cheek, had around my waist to pull me close and I shiver at the memories it brought back. "How could I miss the event of the century?"

"Thank you, I'm so glad you could make it and for loaning us your amazing staff. My parents and I are truly grateful," I speak formally, nervous to go beyond that border with fear of being unable to turn back.

Jimin bites his plump lips to quieten his heavenly smile and I thought I could just pass out right there. The man was beyond beautiful and the golden lighting was doing wonders for his clear skin.

"You're grateful? I think they're the ones that should be grateful considering how much you're paying them," he chuckles, his eyes widening with the unfamiliarity of my world despite living at the heart of it.

"It's all in the good name of-"

"Y/N!"

I look over my shoulder to see Hoseok strutting our way with the rest of the gang behind him like an entourage of incredibly successful models. Jimin shrinks into a blonde blur as Hoseok kisses my cheek, his tailored and insured hand fixed to my very lower lower back to pull me into him.

"Hoseok..."

"Hello beautiful," he huffs, stepping back to take in the view though I weren't sure it was the dress he was looking at.

"I'm so glad you could all make it, you all look fabulous as always," I complimented but they knew they looked good so genuine compliments were wasted on these six pairs of deaf ears.

"We know Y/N, there's no need for flattery. Now I need a drink," Jin eyed up the drinks being passed around as though they were mini servings of orgasms just floating for free. His pretty lips turned into a rosy smirk as he eyed the waitress nearby. "Or maybe what's carrying them..."

"Always the delight Jin."

I was feeling bold. So in an attempt to present him to the rest but to also try and feel even a tickle of his touch that I longed for, I pulled him forward by his jacket to line up with me. His eyes widened, lips puffed in unreadable surprise.

Just tell me you love me.

Hani and Nina joined the little high school circle, giggling and touching their men like little designer accessories. I watched as Nina and Jungkook flirted with one another, strong-arm never intending to let go of her tiny waist as though they were handcuffed.

Jimin didn't dare touch me, even look at me despite the fact no one was talking to him and he had nothing else to look at.

Flattering.

"Who the fuck is Chantelle, Yoongi?"

It wasn't just the feeling of being an outsider in this group of wealthy lovers and serial flirts, I could feel something else, something creeping onto the night.

"What do you mean Chantelle, woman? I don't know a Chantelle!"

Maybe it was just the champagne.

"You were moaning her name in your sleep!"

I bolt the rest of it, soon grabbing another and drinking it like Jin who was now on his fourth glass. Maybe if I drank enough I'd finally get the courage-

Jimin's head finally turns towards mine and my heart freezes in hope. It's that moment where you don't want to move in case you ruin it.

"Y/N-"

The music cuts out, the atmosphere defrosted in the room immediately and my parents come to the rescue as the whispers begin and the feet begin to tap. The tuts echo across their words of reassurance and I feel the heat creeping through my skin for them.

"We apologize for the inconvenience everyone, the sound has just cut out but the problem is getting fixed as we speak. Please help yourself to another drink while we-"

About a thousand mobile phones all ring, ping and vibrate at the same time, chiming along like a song of their own but no song was this intimidating, this excruciating and fucking scary to sing. We all exchanged a glance, knowing the voice that would be waiting to speak through the screen and yet we look anyway.

"Good evening Upper East Siders, a perfect greeting from a lion who has been away from the jungle for too long. Sorry for the silent treatment but I have been busy cooking a feast with a little help from some of my friends."

We all look in confusion, hearts racing and minds aching already at the cryptic wording of this pop-culture princess. She was a phone, an inanimate presence and yet even Namjoon shook nervously.

"Word around the log fire is that our favourite upper east side good girl has decided to play hostess for the annual fundraiser so I decided to put all of our differences aside and make a generous donation to charity at no extra cost- except for a few friendships of course. This is for our sweetheart on her special night with maybe not the sweetest by her side after all..."

The murmurs sizzle in the pan, waiting out the explosion. I squirm at all the attention, suddenly feeling not so glamourous and not so golden and definitely not so good. What was she planning? Was it truly a favour?

"Section a titled 'bad to the bone.' Our youngest golden boy may not be so golden after all, using our golden girl's lipstick stains to make a certain special friend jealous. Oh, Jungkook when will you learn that when a girl says no she really means no?"

There's a picture of Jungkook and me after an amazing day out where we're genuinely happy and I'm kissing his cheek. It was platonic. It meant nothing other than friendship.

I guess I was wrong. That's what hurt.

I look up to Jungkook, uncertainty and my willingness to not believe the news plastered over my expression. How could I trust Gossip Girl over my own friend? But, he just gulps, strong hands smoothing out his jacket nervously. Was this true?

"Jungkook, tell me this isn't true," Nina speaks next to him, suddenly finding his grip on her waist less comforting and more oppressive. She wiggled out of it slowly, stepping back to observe the pissed off maknae who maybe wasn't as innocent as we all thought.

"Nina, it isn't what it looks like," I reason genuinely and I think she swallows it dry for now.

I stand in shock, frozen like a mannequin and feeling stupid for ever thinking that day was anything but a mistake. I bunch up the full skirt of my dress again, wanting it to swallow me whole and turn around to leave not wanting to know anything else she had to give me tonight.

"I can't stand this," I muttered, heading straight for the large wooden doors hiding me from the fresh outside world that was a lot lighter than the darkness in this room. Only, they refused to open no matter how hard I tugged them and not a single one of us had the key.

I stomp back to the chain that I had broken myself from, impatiently waiting for more heartbreak.

"I can't believe you would do that Jungkook," Jin mutters in disappointment by the side of the youngest and he reacts defensively to the hurt caused by Jin's disapproval, someone he looked up to so much. My heart almost hurt for him.

Almost.

"Oh please, you saw how Nina was latching onto Oscar like he was some kind of lampost! She knew what she was doing," Jungkook spat in greedy dirty jealousy, he gave 'sin' a different definition now.

The second chime stopped my launch at the smug handsome boy wearing his suit with dare I say a little pride. I just wanted to hug Nina but by the way she didn't reply, it seemed as though she didn't really like me at this present moment either.

"Chapter two, 'The Tale of Two Hoes'. Did you know that mother Jin isn't so loving to his precious boys? Jin meddled in a little sabotage with Y/N's date with our loving Hoseok to make it look like he stood you up with a text from a disposable phone leaving him to pick up the tearful pieces. Looks like a date isn't the only thing he took that night, was it Y/N?"

I felt almost ill, the disapproving look of my parents making me want to pick up a tile and throw it at my own head. Jin flushed on the spot, scratching behind his head as J-hope started towards him. The orange-haired man gritted his teeth, ready to throw hands but Namjoon held him back from the exposed eldest.

"Jin," I shook my head, tears starting to collect like magnets in my painted eyes. I look down to hide them and even though I knew this was just the beginning of this torture I couldn't wait for more pain. "Is that all I am to you?"

He says nothing.

"That one must've been hard for you Y/N, knowing Jin was always by your side but maybe it wasn't always to collect your feelings and to steal something else. But, Jin isn't the only thief with a light-fingered Joonie stealing underwear from your room and positioning it in his back pocket for ultimate bragging rights!"

I let out a loud laugh, throwing my head back maniacally as the arguments begin to erupt within the group.

"Wait, you didn't sleep together? You bastard!" Taehyung snarls, his large eyes turning small and intimidating as he faces the lies thrown upon himself in the process. "You knew I wanted her!"

There was even a picture to prove it on my phone, sure enough, that red lacy underwear that I was saving hanging out of his uniform trousers like they were a first prize trophy. I knew I should never have bought them.

I felt ill.

Betrayed.

Unsafe.

"I only did it because Jin was bragging about getting the first taste so I needed evidence that we went further you can't blame me!"

"Can't blame you? Are you fucking kidding me what kind of lame unintelligent excuse is that?" Jimin bursts by my side, cheeks flushed in outrage as the blonde flushes at his own stupidity in front of him. "You should be honoured to have a friend like her, she's not some piece of ass."

I almost forgot he was there.

Almost.

"Y/N you don't have to listen to this," Jimin whispered leaning in beside me, hand supporting behind my back trying to comfort my seething. I was seeing red and blue, the red beyond the details in Yoongi's tie or Hani's lipstick. Pure anger and sadness. "I can get us out... somehow."

"No! It's fine Jimin. I am loving this, in fact, I can't wait for the next one! Let's see what we have," I exclaim crazily, hands gripping the ruffles in my dress as they clung uncomfortably to my blushing body.

"Hmm, what's next." I read the blast with sarcastically dramatic expression of interest as I summarise the text. "Taehyung, how could you do that to your own best friend!"

The blue-haired millionaire lowers his golden face to the marble beneath us, not daring to retort or make a single expression as he hung his head in shame. Jimin looks at him in disappointment, forcing his eyes from the ground with his own sadness but Taehyung only looks down again.

I looked at my parents and they smiled apologetically and almost in shame. I could only imagine Taehyung smoothly sipping on his tea as he waited for me to get ready, horrible lies about Jimin tumbling out of his mouth without any intention of stopping so that he was almost banished from society forever.

I could imagine the smirk he threw to Jimin as he chased after me in the debutante ball, closing the door to a room upstairs and giving all sorts of signs that were absolutely wrong.

The more chimes, the more lies went by.

Hani was in tears on Nina's shoulder as she found out that both of us had lost our virginities to Yoongi in the same night and even under the same circumstances.

I had begun to grow nauseous, sick with worry at what to do with all this new information.

I didn't know my duty. There was nothing in the upper east side manual for this level of chaos.

I just stood and listened to the truth with dignity and giving into Jimin's heavenly touches of assurance as he ran his fingers along my back. It was like taking several bullets in complete silence.

It was also finally refreshing to have some closure with these assholes.

"It's nice to finally understand what I am to you guys," I mutter from the corner of my eye, not wanting to give them the pleasure of eye contact.

"Trigger warning, this next is not for the faint of heart. A little fun fact about the upper east side, nothing brings friends closer together than a scheme. So it was no surprise while golden girl was waiting for her prince in the pouring rain for their happily ever after, six villains teamed up to lock him in his castle for one last grizzly goodbye."

Our heads slowly shot up from our screens.

"That was you guys? All of you?" Jimin glared hand now pressing against me, scarier than all of them combined when angry due to his usually bright and charming exterior. He took his first step forward and they took their first step back, all awkwardly trying to avoid any questions with a mumble or a sip of their drink.

"You don't even have anything to say for yourselves?" I choke, softening their faces at the sound of the hurt building up inside of me ironically since all they had done so far was hurt me. "For me?"

"Beautiful," Hoseok spoke softly, reaching out for my arm but the hate wouldn't stop pouring and I slapped it away harshly not caring about the bill that would soon be facing my way. I would rather burn than have him touch me.

"Don't you dare."

Yet another highlight was finding out my stellar therapist had been writing notes in our sessions not for her but for Yoongi to directly read with a generous tip so he could keep track of what I was saying about our relationship. Lovely.

Another was finding out my school life had been meddled with too after Namjoon getting the best teacher ever fired once I confided in her about our toxic relationship and Taehyung getting me rejected from Harvard since Jimin was going too.

"Don't you have anything to say? At all?" Jimin barked and I finally noticed how silent the room was, relishing in this little circle of big drama as if it was some kind of telenovela. "You're ruining her life because you don't like me! Because I don't have a trust fund or a dog groomer or a foot spa! If you wanted to ruin my life fine but don't use people to get what you want- especially not her."

They were silent, guilty faces copy and pasted so identically I didn't even know whether or not to believe if they were true or not. Everything they had ever done or said had turned out to be a lie so far but there was always one more with Gossip Girl.

"I hope I haven't made Thanksgiving too awkward for you guys but this last one is a real doozy. Get out your pens everyone this is one for the history books as I am making a formal apology for my involvement in this last crime committed by none other than Mr Big Shot himself. Hoseok was a naughty boy and since lover boy was back in town, he dished out on the R-Rated details of him and Y/N to yours truly disguising as Park. The plan? To get the golden girl away from her true love and into the arms of the pot-stirrer. Well played Mr Jung, your lust was good while it lasted."

The pattern was screaming out to both Jimin and me and the reasons why made the hot flushes and cold sweats begin. The end of the blasts meant the doors would be open right? And yet I walked out, taking the chance to get away from the yelling, the tears, the violence, and the betrayal.

"I'm so sorry," I said to my mother, trying to regain composure in these last moments as if it would make up for the rest.

I was beyond embarrassed, already thinking of ways I could make it up to my parents for behaving so immaturely. But, for now, I sobbed into the back of my hand once I was outside, gown making me feel ugly and even more alone than ever before. Jimin did nothing wrong but I left them there in the jungle. I had to be alone.

"You know you love me XOXO Gossip Girl."

I ran towards the cabs parked outside, the rain audible at the end of the dark hallway I was running to. At the end of it should've been light, a group hug and some great parties but it was just grey, murky and full of the ones that you thought loved you trying to pull you away from pure happiness because they knew it could never be them.

I love Jimin I always have and it ate those boys alive to know I could love him beyond his bank account because he was more than enough as he was. He couldn't afford college and I remembered his late phone calls to me about it, sobbing about the end of his path.

Now? He set up his own restaurant, starting with a bar and ending with plans for chains and maybe even someday a hotel.

And, I was so proud of him.

"Y/N wait!" Jimin calls behind the clicking of his shoes against the concrete following me like the judging giggles of the people in that hall, all loving the drama just because it wasn't them at the centre of it.

I harshly wiped away a tear, continuing to run as fast as I could with my dress that moved like smoke and my shoes like cocktail sticks.

It seemed as though none of the rest even bothered.

"Don't go!" He catches up, my back facing him as I cry in the pouring rain and not a single cab in sight. It was just my luck. I just wanted to run away, to not have to face any more lies or betrayals.

I just wanted a friend but an invisible one I couldn't hurt.

"I'm sorry Jimin I need to be by myself for a while. I tend to have an inevitable negative effect on people and I don't want to hurt you again," I manage through a thick voice and even thicker sets of hot tears mixing with the cool rain.

I could hear his pity and it made me sick.

"I don't understand," he began softly, taking another step towards the hem of my dress. "It was them who did the plotting or scheming, not us. Don't you dare feel bad about anything, it's not your fault!"

I wanted to hug him.

"Thank you for not sending anything in..." I thank him quietly but genuinely, ready for another shock since he was too good to be true. It was only a matter of time until he too would darken under my presence.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, warmth spreading from it like tie-dye. I turn to face him, ashamed of the makeup that I knew was running horrifically in all directions of my face. I didn't know if it was my mind playing tricks or the rain but when I looked beyond his handsomely wet finger, I saw red stains of tears like mine too. Had he been crying also?

He smiled weakly "I would never."

I returned it, even weaker.

"I just need to be alone for a while if that's okay."

I didn't. It wasn't. In truth, I wanted him to pull me and kiss me until we physically couldn't anymore. I wanted him to cling to me until I was sick of him and prying him off of my body.

Which of course would be never.

He nodded through a sigh "Of course, just at least let me take you home safely."

He calls over a car and helps me in, feeding the inside my large dress through the door with a heavenly giggle. I held my spinning head in my hands on my lap, the weight of what to do with all these bridges to fix and the ones that were unfixable hurt my head like brain damage. I was incapable of thinking a single decent thought.

The door shut, ringing in my ears and Jimin rubs my exposed back, which tickled with the droplets of water. I eventually gave in to his comfort, nestling into his chest with silent cries of sadness coming from my painted lips.

The thing that pumped the tears the most and choked me beyond swallowing was the thought that I had come between so many friendships tonight.

Had I not existed, Jimin would still have so many friends and an amazing person by his side- a functional existence.

"Please don't say that Y/N. Those actions were in them all along and eventually, they would've come out anyway. I'm just sorry it had to be all on you," Jimin's pretty hands ran along my bare skin making my heart continue to explode. But was he just trying to make me feel better?

"I would do anything to take this pain away from you."

I melted at his words.

"You are my pain, Park Jimin."

He stopped, scared at what I was going to say and honestly so was I. The emotions of the evening had engulfed me to the point where nothing I could say could make it any worse.

"The stabbing in my heart I feel whenever I see you and realise you could never love me the way I love you is greater than any fake friendship or any gossip girl blast. They want us apart and so do you."

I look up at him, removing my head. His silence was killing me.

"And yet here we are."

He hugged me closer, arms wrapping around me so many times so that Jimin could get as close as possible. I could smell the homely scent of his that even the rain couldn't wash away. It was comforting and made me hum against his bare neck as I wrapped around him.

"Do you want me to take you back to mine?"

Oh.

"No, not in that way I mean it's uh probably better if you just um-"

"Anywhere but here."

I sighed, breath hitting his shivering skin at a tremendous strength. I felt his body shiver against mine, clinging, and reaching out for heat.

"You know that day, I was getting ready to meet you. I had a speech planned and everything," he chuckled sadly, kissing the top of my head as I grinned through the silence. I could imagine him rambling nervously in front of the mirror, adjusting his jacket and trying on seven different outfits that all looked the same.

"I couldn't wait to finally call you mine, to be able to tell you every mushy thing I felt on the inside. Then I blinked and you were with Hoseok again."

"Then I sneezed and you were in France," I retorted lightly, smirking through it so I wouldn't have to apologize. I didn't want to face the horrible things I had done.

"I'd love to take you some time. The entire time I was there every 5 seconds I'd see something and say 'God Y/N would love that'," he giggled and I felt the joy tingling in his chest and through his sheer shirt.  

"I'd love to see it."

There is a questionable silence, Jimin's noisy thoughts screaming through his body and though I couldn't hear it I could feel the cogs turning.

"Let's go."

"Now?"

"Right now."

I pulled away from him to study his face. There wasn't a single glint of madness or delusion in those eyes just pure determination. I would be lying if I said it wasn't extremely sexy.

"We'll get out of New York. Nothing serious if you don't want to. We'll take a breather and we'll do it in style darling," Jimin gets excited at the luxuriousness of it all, not being used to spontaneous trips like these I was sure. Though I was, this didn't feel as dull as an ordinary trip, I got giddy in the backseat.

"Wait, what about your restaurant?"

"My parents are in town. They can run the show for a while," he bites his lip, reaching out for me begging me to agree to this after all the built-up excitement.

France really was a really beautiful place and it was the start of summer...

"Why me?"

"I obviously have made the wrong impression if you don't think I'm desperately and hopelessly in love with you now haven't I?" he grins into my fingers as he holds them to his mouth, kissing my knuckle just once as a teaser for what's to come.

I peck him on the lips, stunning him in his seat as if I had sprayed him still with hairspray.

"I'm all in."

#bts imagines #bts smut #bts fanfic #gossip girl #park jimin #jimin imagine #jimin x y/n #jungkook #kim taehyung #hoseok #kim seokjin #namjoon #yoongi

[biisexualemma]

winter soldier. bucky barnes

word count: 2348

warnings: a bit of violence

requested: N/A

plot: you have to watch bucky fight like the winter soldier

a/n: i wrote this literally like thirty minutes after i watched ep.3 of tfatws! it is basically bucky's fight scene in the club because it's literally all i can think about after that episode (jesus christ it had me feeling a lot of things) but from your perspective. so i wrote this, same idea, some things changed slightly, e.g. you are also working with sam and bucky-- anyway! hope you like!

pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4 / masterlist

"winter soldier."

you clenched your jaw, your teeth grinding together, eyes glued to bucky's vacant expression. your stomach was in knots. you were against the plan to begin with, but you had no choice but to take zemo's lead on this. that didn't mean you trusted him one bit, not after what he put your friends through. your hand remained firmly tucked against your thigh, where your knife was strapped to your leg.

you could feel your chest rising and falling faster as the man approached zemo from behind, your heart beating harder in your chest. the main reason behind your not wanting to go through with this mission was bucky. you knew how hard he worked every day to remove himself from his past, and here he was, again, placed right in the middle of everything he wanted to forget. the only reason you agreed to it was bucky's reassurance that he could handle it.

but right now, you were reminded of the man you met many years ago for the first time, only without the mask.

the man's hand fell onto zemo's shoulder. "attack," he spoke in the eerily familiar tongue.

he didn't hesitate, his vibranium arm snatched the man's hand away from zemo, you swore you heard something crack. you clutched your knife, yanking it out of it's holder, but before you got any further, sam's hand was restraining you. he didn't look your way, holding his cover, instead you both watched bucky drag the man away from the three of you, twisting his arm behind his back to where you heard another disturbingly loud crack.

you tried to keep your cover, but you couldn't help but flinch watching him use his full force to plough his vibranium arm against the mans chest, knocking him off his feet. his body slammed against the hard floor and you gulped, sam's hand tightening around your wrist when you made to move again.

"hold it," you glanced at sam for a split second, his eyebrows knitted tightly together watching the winter soldier in action, but he knew the consequences if he made to intervene. you could tell it was unsettling sam just as much as it was you, to watch bucky like this. but you had no choice but to stand and watch your boyfriend ruin anyone who came within a foot of him.

the bar was silent, the only sounds to be heard were the muffled groans coming from the man at bucky's feet. you noticed some of the people surrounding the fight had pulled out their phones and began recording the scene. you wanted to snatch them away and crumple them, but resolved to taking a deep breath and biting down on your tongue as hard as you could. you just had to endure for a little while longer and then it would be over.

you watched as bucky took apart two more men who came swinging towards him, zemo's expression was full of more amusement than you cared for. you felt blood trickling in your mouth, the metallic taste filling your taste buds after you had flinched and bit down harder on your tongue.

if sam hadn't been there to physically restrain you, you would've intervened long before this could start. you knew bucky was no longer controlled by zemo, but watching him fight like this was a brutal reminder of everything bucky had done and been through. you dreaded to think how it was making him feel having to slip back into the mindlessly violent nature that had been drilled into him.

sam's eyes darted around, watching bucky take out one guy after the next. zemo couldn't keep himself out of it, he shoved forward a bystander, watching, almost gleefully, as bucky threw a swing at the man, spinning him backwards before delivering another blow so forceful it took out another man standing behind him. your breath hitched in your throat, you couldn't stop yourself from cringing when another man was thrown off his feet, his spine cracking harshly against the metal joists when bucky's metal arm collided with his torso and sent him flying.

your ears were ringing slightly, your throat tightening the longer you watched this go on. "didn't take much for him to fall back into form," you heard zemo lean into sam's ear to mumble this but you caught it. you were going to kill that man yourself after this mission was over.

sam's grip loosened on your wrist when bucky clenched his metal hand around one man's neck, lifting him off his feet and slamming him down against the bar. you moved away from sam before he could stop you, your eyes wide with fear when bucky tightened his grip, the man's gasps for air were all that could be heard, that, and the cocking of several guns.

your hand moved from its position on your knife, to the cool metal of bucky's arm where he stood slowly cutting off this mans air supply. you clenched your hand tightly to pull him away, but he didn't shift, his intense gaze was locked on the man beneath him.

"stay in character or the whole bar turns on us," zemo muttered under his breath, his eyes wide and locked on yours. you hesitated, but pulled yourself away, not wanting to be the reason this mission was unsuccessful after everything you'd done to get to this point. you knew how much was riding on this.

you let out short, strained breaths, your eyes still locked on bucky's unwavering expression. you wondered how much he still felt in control of himself, or whether he was simply just keeping up the act.

"well done, soldier," zemo spoke after a brief silence. your stomach churned every time he would use that tongue to speak to bucky.

you watched bucky's eyes shift up to the bartender, his eyebrows slightly knitted and his hand slowly unclenching from around the mans throat. the man let out a strained wheeze, the breath returning to his lungs as bucky released his grip and let him fall to the ground with a thud behind him.

bucky could hear your loud, jagged breathing as you stood as close as possible to him without raising suspicion. he almost broke away when he felt your hand grip his arm earlier. but he didn't dare look to you, instead he kept his stare locked on the bartender in front of him, waiting for the words.

"silby will see you now," the bartender was watching bucky with an uneasy expression across his face. you watched bucky's chest rising and falling, you wanted desperately to reach out and touch his hand but you had to remind yourself why you were in this position to begin with. you needed to follow zemo's lead, find the source of the super-soldier serum and then you could deal with how you were feeling later.

"you good?" your voice came out smaller than you intended it to. you studied his expression from his profile, his tight lips and clenched jaw, waiting for him to break and look at you, but he didn't. he let out a quiet, hmph, nodding once before following zemo and sam to the back of the club.

-

you wished you were back in the club watching bucky beat those guys to a pulp, because after the past few hours, things somehow managed to go from bad to worse. your lead was now dead, literally, you bumped into sharon, of all people, who was meaner than you ever remember her being, and there was also a bounty on all of your heads.

currently, you were sat alone after having picked out fresh clothes from sharon's closet. she had reluctantly let you guys crash at her place, agreeing to help find a lead to doctor nagel.

you weren't sure how long you'd been sat staring at the wall in front of you until you heard footsteps approaching the room you were in. you didn't have to look to know who it was, you already knew. he sat beside you quietly, without saying a word. you could feel his eyes on you for a while before you forced yourself to meet his gaze. it was the first time you'd looked at him as himself, since the incident earlier. you gulped, his blue eyes not shifting from your own for even a second.

"hey," he mumbled softly. your eyebrows knitted into a delicate frown, you found yourself biting down on your tongue again. "you good?" you nodded, close lipped as you shifted your eyes from his face and down to your hands. you hadn't noticed your hands had clenched into tight fists.

after a brief silence, you felt your fingers uncurl, bucky's hand now enclosed in your fist. you let out a shaky breath, revelling in the comfort his touch brought you. you fiddled with his fingers, a habit you had when you were anxious that bucky let you use him for.

"are you good?" you gulped, glancing at him for a second before focusing on your tangled hands again. he nodded, letting out a quiet hum.

"i wouldn't've gone in there if i thought i couldn't handle it," you nodded, feeling his hand squeeze yours briefly. "i came to check on you."

your eyes fluttered, a wave of tire washing over you suddenly. you shook your head. "i'm fine, don't worry," you said it out of habit, but you knew bucky was the type to always worry. especially when it came to you.

"i never wanted you to have to see that again," you knew he was referring to the winter soldier. you had fought him back in the day with sam, nat and steve, before any of you knew who he really was. you'd been through a lot together, only recently had you become more than friends. or at least, you were trying to give it a go, things just kept getting in the way.

"i hardly saw anything," you tried to lie to ease his conscience. you sighed, looking up into his eyes again, they were soft and inviting, his lashes fluttering slightly when you met his gaze.

"you've always been a terrible liar," he tightened his lips into a halfhearted, closed-mouthed smile, trying to ease some of your anxiety. you mimicked his weak attempt at a smile, moving closer to him and leaning your head atop his shoulder. he shifted his free arm around your waist, tugging you as close to him as possible, leaning down to press a lingering kiss atop your head.

"i just want you to be safe, buck," you admitted. "i don't like that you're having to go through all this again-- what with zemo-- and this place-- i see how people look at  you, how they talk to you."

"i know, doll," he mumbled, his lips resting softly against your temple now. you tried to relish in the short amount of time you had alone with him, your eyes closing for a moment as you breathed in his scent. "i don't like it either, but it's just for a bit longer."

you hummed quietly, letting yourself relax in his arm. your hand was still tangled with his own, your fidgeting had stopped and instead you let your fingers intertwine with his, him squeezing your hand now and again for reassurance.

"thank you for looking out for me," he spoke after a while of you two embracing each others company. "it's been a while, but it's a nice feeling."

you lifted your head, tilting your head back to get a good look at his face. he looked tired, but still wore a small, appreciative smile on his lips, along with his soft gaze. you felt your stomach flutter, you couldn't disguise a similar smile working it's way onto your lips. something about bucky was so sweet, in his nature, he cared so much for the people around him even if he was bad at communicating it sometimes. you wanted a better and quieter life for him when this was all finally over.

"it's nice to have someone to look out for," you muttered truthfully. you had spent such a long time fighting with the avengers, you'd never had the time to even go out on a date, never mind figuring out a relationship. and though it was difficult, sometimes, navigating your relationship with bucky, you knew at the end of the day, you liked him a lot, and you only wanted to be with him. and you were pretty sure he felt the same way towards you.

bucky's hand moved away from yours, to your chin, using his forefinger and thumb to tilt your chin upwards, your face moving closer to his. he leaned down and caught his lips against yours, his hand drifting to your jawline, where he held your face in the palm of his hand. your mind thought of nothing but the feeling of his lips moving against yours, soft and slow.

it didn't matter what was going to happen next, as long as bucky was there with you.

"oh-- shit-- i should've knocked," you pulled away, chuckling against bucky's lips, peeking out the corner of your eye to see sam had walked in and frozen once he realised what he'd walked in on. bucky groaned, his eyes rolling. of course, sam was interrupting.

"please-- get out," he shot a stone-cold glare towards sam, who chuckled uncomfortably.

"oh-- i wish i could," he groaned. "that was something i wish i'd never seen-- but the party is starting soon-- we gotta get out there."

you broke away, realising your short, but sweet moment was over. you kissed bucky quickly, one last time before pushing yourself up trying to shake your head clear of any thoughts of your boyfriend so you could focus on the mission.

you heard sam lower his voice, thinking somehow you wouldn't be able to hear him as he hung back with bucky, you walking ahead. "how you still got game like that? you're like a hundred and two--"

"hundred and six," he corrected, frowning at his partner. " and stop talking about my game."

#bucky barnes #tfawts #tfatwsedit #bucky fic #bucky x y/n #bucky fluff #mcu #sebastian stan #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes masterlist #mcu imagine #mcu masterlist #avengers #avengers imagine #avengers masterlist #james bucky barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #y/n #sam wilson #anthony mackie #marvel #marvel fic #marvel imagine #marvel masterlist #masterlist #tfatws spoilers

[sentinelpri]

Yellow Roses

The first time was a learning experience.

Bumblebee had been innocent to the ways of human gift-giving back then, unsure of what to get or where to get it, but after using the internet and looking up where to buy gifts for humans, he found that there was a gift shop down the street from where the Autobot base was, and he begged and pleaded with Sari for some of her allowance money “for something important”.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to get. What he was sure of, though, was that he was completely enamored with you and had been since day one- and he couldn’t bring himself to confess yet, but if he didn’t channel his feelings somehow, they were going to burst.

But as he approached the gift shop on that sunny day in Detroit, no other than Optimus Prime walked out and bumped into him. Thankfully, before he could fall back at the impact, Optimus reached out and caught him, placing him back on his feet with one strong servo. 

“P-Prime, hey!” Bumblebee grinned and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. He knew he wasn’t guilty of anything nefarious, per say, but he had no idea how Optimus would feel about him being in love with a human and wanting to buy gifts for said human with money that wasn’t his. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, nothing much...” The other Autobot blatantly lied and hid a bouquet of blue and gold flowers that Bee didn’t know the name of behind his back, face burning the brightest shade of red the smaller bot had ever seen it. “Are you looking for something in particular?”

“I don’t know, I mean, what do humans even like?” Bumblebee muttered without thinking, and upon seeing Optimus’s optics widen, he raised his servos defensively and shook his head. “I mean, uh-! Never mind! What’s up with the flowers?”

“Ah,” Optimus gave an awkward grin and held the flowers in front of him instead of continuing to hide them, probably realizing that it was too late and Bumblebee had already seen them. The younger bot wondered if they were for Optimus or for someone else, but he didn’t dare ask, only listening to his leader talk. “I learned that unlike some other organic planets, on earth, it’s considered rude to pick plants if they’re in close proximity to someone’s home or in front of a public building or park unless they’re a specific type called weeds, which flowers aren’t, but I wanted to buy some for someone, so I came here to pick them up after asking Sari about it. Are you gift buying, too?”

“Well, yeah, I guess you could say that,” Bumblebee looked away and held his forearm in one servo, anxiously shifting his weight between his stabilizing servos. It felt like him and Optimus Prime had reached into the cookie jar and caught each other. 

Bumblebee didn’t dare ask who the flowers were for even though he was dying to know in fear that Optimus would ask who he was at the gift shop for in return. An uncomfortable silence fell onto them momentarily, both of them quiet and staring at each other with the noise of traffic and the bustling Detroit citizens walking on the pavement who kept passing by to keep them company.

“I’ve been doing some reading since Sari’s birthday is in a few months,” Optimus tried to continue the conversation and cleared his throat. “The customs for gift giving can involve about anything when it comes to human girls, but the most common are flowers, books, chocolates, jewelry, clothing, video games, or gifts of practicality, which just seem to be hygiene products and things they can use in their daily lives. Gift cards and vouchers with money on them are also common, but considered less personable, so I wouldn’t go that route if you’re close with the one you’re buying for unless they specifically ask for it.”

“Oh... I gotcha. Good ideas, bossbot!” Bumblebee smiled again, the corners of his lip-plates sore from how forced it was due to his nerves.

What if Optimus had figured it out? That would defeat the whole point of his plan; buy you nice things and leave them at your door in the middle of the night without his name attached. It was simple and easy, but if Optimus knew before he even got to try it?

Well. That made it a lot harder.

Thankfully, though, Optimus gave him a nod and bid him a good afternoon, then walked away.

Bumblebee found himself letting out a sigh of relief.

Thank Primus...

...Hours later, Bumblebee regretted all of his life decisions. He was sitting, holed up in his room with one audial pressed up against your wall. It was a terrible habit of his, but he eavesdropped on you pretty frequently when he heard bits and pieces of you talking through the wall, and he was doing it right now.

He wasn’t sure how he had expected it to go, but when he dropped the bouquet of yellow roses at your bedroom doorstep when you were out for lunch and no one was in the halls, he had hoped that you would simply take the flowers, appreciate them, and never say another word. However, you were currently telling Sari about it, which made sense considering that the young girl dropped by your room often and asked you to do her hair or makeup as an excuse to spend time with you- you were an adult, a lot older than Sari, but the two of you got along very well considering that you were the only one who actually knew how to take care of her properly when Isaac Sumdac wasn’t around.

“I have no idea!” You exclaimed, no doubt in reference to the flowers. Bumblebee cringed. What if Sari made the connection that the money he had borrowed from her was for that? What if she told everyone, or what if you told everyone, and Prime realized why he was at that gift shop and let his secret slip? “I can only assume it was you or one of the guys, but like... I don’t know who.”

“Yeah, I have no idea! It wasn’t me, I would’ve just given ‘em to you. We should dig deeper, (y/n)!”

Oh. Oh, Primus, no. 

“I’m not sure, Sari, whoever it was probably dropped it off like that for a reason,” Bumblebee heard you sigh, and at the same time, he let out a sigh of relief. Maybe you would just forget about it and-

“Wait! Do you have a secret admirer!?”

Dammit. Maybe not.

“I... Highly doubt that, the only one I’d be interested in anyways is-” You started, and then cut yourself off in a way that made Bumblebee’s spark shatter and crumble into little pieces inside his chassis. You were single, but you were already into someone? What if it wasn’t him? He’d understand, of course- Prime was stronger, Prowl was smooth, Bulkhead was talented, and Ratchet was intelligent. Compared to them, he felt like he didn’t have much to offer you. Everyone around him was amazing, and he was just there, but... He loved you, and he wanted you to know how loved you were. So, whether you’d love him back or not, he’d keep giving everything he had to you; even if the way in which he went about it was indirect. “Actually, never mind, but your braids are done-”

“No, wait, you can’t just gloss past that!” Sari whined. Bee almost didn’t want to hear the rest of your discussion, but he couldn’t keep himself from listening. “Who is it, who is it!?

“Let’s just go play Animal Crossing in the living room, we can talk about all of that at a later date, yeah?” You offered, voice laced with both your amusement and confusion. 

“Fine, fine, but you have to tell me soon! Pinky promise.”

“Fine, pinky promise. Now let’s go.”

Bumblebee heard your door open and close, followed by what he presumed to be you and Sari’s footsteps in the hallway. The sound eventually dissipated.

The Autobot was left to lay back on his berth and stare at the ceiling with a huff.

You were telling others about the gift he left, trying to get to the bottom of it, and you were into someone or somebot he didn’t even know about.

What had he gotten himself into?

-

The second time, he felt a little better about it. It was a week later and he hadn’t heard any discussion of the subject amongst the other Autobots, so he assumed nothing had come from it.

But, as he lounged on the living room couch, he jumped upon you sitting down on the couch’s arm- right by where his head was laid.

It made sense that he had been jumpier around you over the past few days. Part of it was the usual I’m-in-love-with-you-and-super-tense-about-it jumpiness that he had become accustomed to, but it was made worse by the fact that he was guilty; guilty of keeping a secret from you, of indirectly lying to you. He could’ve done it the one time with the roses and let it die down after, but when you’d talked about your old game controller breaking the night before at the dinner table, he hadn’t been able to help himself- he went and got it along with a new bouquet of yellow roses, left it in front of your room later that night, knocked, and ran away.

It was the next day, and understandably, he’d been anxious about it. It was better than the first time, but he was just hoping you wouldn’t talk about it.

Of course, he was never that lucky, and you looked at him with the controller literally in your hands. 

“Hey, Bee, do you know anything about this?” You asked.

Had he been caught? Did you know? Or were you just trying to get information from him in case he knew something? Unsure, he decided to play it safe and act oblivious. 

“Huh? What’s that?”

“I’m taking that as a no, but someone left this new controller on my doorstep with a bouquet of roses? I needed a new one, but I only mentioned it to you and the others, so I think it’s one of you guys... But this is the second time I’ve received a gift without any name on it and I’m really confused. I’ve done some asking around, but the only one who seems to know anything is Optimus, and he won’t give me any hints and insists that he has no idea what I’m talking about.”

Great. So, Optimus probably realized why Bumblebee had been at the gift shop last week. Well... From what you said, it sounded like Optimus was at least decent enough to stay out of his business and keep the secret for him- or try to, at least. 

“Yeah? That’s weird, I don’t really know why he’d be like that about it... Wanna play Streetfighter?”

“Sure, but I’m just super confused, man,” You muttered, turning on the playstation and giving a frustrated huff. The game quickly turned on, and while Bee took the old controller, you connected your brand new one and chose your stage, your character being Akuma. Bee chose Ken to fight with and listened to you continue as the game started. “I thought the first time might’ve just been a one-off thing, but it’s happened again, and the flowers were one thing, but now it’s flowers and a new controller. Anyone else would be creeped out, and I’m not creeped out- more flattered than anything since I know it’s from you or one of the other Autobots- but this is really expensive... I’d at least like to be able to say thank you!”

“That makes sense, I think I’d feel the same way,” The black and yellow bot mumbled. The game had hardly started and he was already losing due to his inability to focus- it was so bad that he couldn’t even combat you when you crowded his character into the corner and kicked him over and over and over again. His health bar dropped to zero, signaling that you’d won round one.

Round two started, and he did a little better; actually jumping away from your cornering attempts and offering some blasts and punches, but by the time it ended, he’d only gotten you down to half health, and you were delivering your final blow. Ken fell to the ground, Akuma still standing. 

You didn’t even press replay despite being player one. No, instead, you let out a huff and stared at the ceiling. Bumblebee found himself resting his helm against your thigh without thinking, enjoying the warmth against his faceplates. You two were best friends, very comfortable with each other and with physical affection, so you didn’t mind it, only running a gentle hand over one of his audials in return. 

Both of you set your controllers down. It was obvious that both of you were so focused on the subject of your anonymous gifts that the game didn’t catch either of your interests like it usually would. 

“I might try to ask Optimus about it again tomorrow... Information extraction,” You joked, but Bumblebee quickly sat up and objected. 

“Wait, I don’t think that’s such a good idea!”

“Huh? Why not? He’s the only one who’s given me so much as a reaction,” You argued and stood up to turn the game system off, then started pacing around the room. “And I guess his eyes getting all wide ‘n stuff may have just been something else, but like... It’s all I’ve got to go on.”

“Yeah, but you know how the bossbot is,” Bee stood as well, trying his hardest not to look like he was in the midst of blowing a circuit from the panic that was currently taking over his processor. “He shuts down when you push him too hard. If he knows anything about it, you gotta wait for him to come to you with that sweet info.”

“You’re probably right, Bee, thanks for the advice,” You smiled, and then walked to him to put a hand on his shoulder plate. “I’m gonna go to bed, ‘kay? Goodnight.”

You looked into his optics, and oh Primus, he was gone; your eyes were such a beautiful shade of (e/c), and your smile was so beautiful, and you were so beautiful, and he was so in love-

Quickly, he realized that he was taking too long to respond, so he quickly stammered something out.

“G-Goodnight...” 

And then, you left, swiftly turning and walking out of the living room.

Bumblebee found himself letting out a sigh of relief, but at the same time, he missed you desperately.

He wished he’d given you a hug goodnight.

And, as he stood alone in the dark living room, he thought back to how exactly he’d ended up in his current predicament; painfully in love with a human, giving them things without having the courage to do it face-to-face, life feeling like it was falling apart with every hour that passed without him being able to kiss you and tell you how much he loved you like he so desperately wanted to. 

He’d loved you from the very start, and as bold as he was, he couldn’t bring himself to tell you- he was just too scared, but...

What if this was what finally gave it away...?

-

The third time was what ended up blowing his cover. He should’ve left it alone, and he had told himself that after the last time- it was far too close of a call when you talked about Optimus knowing something, and he was so obvious with his own emotions during that, too... He wouldn’t do it again.

But then, he was shopping with Sari that day and saw a (f/c) hoodie that was just your size and style, and he decided you had to had it. So, when Sari was distracted at a different store, he got the hoodie, along with a new notebook, some pens, and a stuffed bee. He bought the gifts for you and put them in a nice gift bag with some paper, then left them by your door and disappeared before anyone could see him. 

He was sitting in the living room yet again. It was late at night, and though him and his team had spent most of that night playing board games and catching up with a movie playing in the background, they’d all went to bed hours ago, leaving him to think by himself.

He’d lost at every game; Uno, Monopoly, Candyland, Sorry, Cards Against Humanity, and Scrabble, all because he was staring at you the entire time. 

Why couldn’t he just get over himself and confess already? It was selfish to keep hiding from you, because what if the one you’d mentioned being interested in was actually him? And even if it wasn’t him, was it fair for you to think that he saw you as a friend when he was secretly in love with you? Was it fair for you to keep receiving gifts and never knowing who they were from? 

Speak of the devil, though- the second Bumblebee looked up from where he was standing in the middle of the room, you were leaning against the doorway, wearing the hoodie he’d bought you and a pair of pajama shorts. You looked sleepy with your (h/l) (h/c) hair a mess and your soft hands rubbing the bleariness out of your (e/c) eyes. 

“Bee?” You mumbled.

“(y/n), where’d you just come from? You look tired! You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m tired, but I’m fine. I was in the hallway, kinda waiting for everyone else to go to bed so I could talk to you, but... It took me a minute to come in here.” Bumblebee walked towards you and raised his optical ridge. His spark sank to the floor because oh Primus, was this it? Was it finally happening?

“Oh, uh... Why do you need to talk to me alone? What’s up?”

You averted your gaze and gently grabbed one of his servos with your hand, holding it tightly. Bumblebee took a sharp intake. You were about to start talking, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for it. 

“I know it’s you,” You confessed with a guilty smile. Bumblebee froze in place and cringed. “I feel bad, but my curiosity was killing me, so I asked around some more and did a lot of prying- Optimus seemed like he was hiding something when I talked to him about it, so I pried until he gave up and told me that he suspected it was you; that he’d seen you at a gift shop the day I got the first bouquet, that he’d seen you lingering in the hallways the past few times I’ve gotten something, etcetera. He gave me enough details that I pieced it together, so... Yeah.”

“Well, at least it’s out of the way,” Bumblebee laughed out loud, and surprisingly, you smiled back at him. This wasn’t how he wanted it to come out, but he wasn’t sure it would have come out at all if not for this. “Getting human money without a real job is hard! Glad I could at least confess without having to do it so much that I went bankrupt.”

“Bee...” You started again, peering up at him, but he felt like he wasn’t ready for what was going to happen next. Were you about to reject him? He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. 

“Well, now that that’s done, I’m gonna go ahead and go to bed! I could use a really good recharge right about now-”

“Bee-” You cut him off with a pout and gripped his servo, obviously not done, but he only continued in hopes that you would give it up and let him escape the situation. 

“Goodnight, (y/n)-”

“Bee!” You yelled and pulled him towards you by his wrist so you could get in his face. “For God’s sake, man, stop and listen to me talk for a second!”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry! I just-” He tossed his hands up defensively, ready to spill his circuits out, only for you to cut him off.

“You don’t think I love you back, right? You’re such a dolt!” You exclaimed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Bumblebee yelled back at you, processor only catching the insult before he thought back on ‘I love you back’ and froze. “...Oh. Sorry.”

“I mean I’ve loved you for months now! Even before I realized it, I think I would’ve been more than open to dating you at any point in time, I mean... You’re pretty great. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Well, uh-” Bumblebee stopped and took in a deep intake, then sighed and linked your fingers with his digits so he could hold your hand properly. The anxiety that had been building up over you for so long now was finally leaving his body and being replaced by relief.“I don’t know. I feel kinda stupid now.”

“C’mere,” You mumbled and wrapped an arm around him. He hugged you back, taking you into his arms and resting his chin on top of your head... He could get used to that. You were warm and soft as you relaxed your body against his and allowed yourself to be held. You let go of his servo in favor of curling your hands and arms up by his chest. “Thank you for the gifts. They were really sweet and I loved them all, so... I’ll be sure to return the favor.”

“Return the favor? This is more than enough to return the favor!” He grinned, only hugging you tighter. “I’ve always wanted to just, like, hug you like this-”

“You can kiss me, too, if you want,” You offered, which had him pulling back to look down at you, spark lit aflame. 

“Really?” Bumblebee asked, just to be sure.

“Of course.”

There was a moment of silence; hesitance from both ends. It was true that, while both of you had been physically affectionate as friends, you’d never kissed, and Bumblebee had certainly never kissed a human. He’d been waiting for this moment for so long, but he had no idea what to do now that it was actually happening. 

Thankfully, you took the initiative and wrapped your arms over his shoulders, hands on the back of his neck. You looked up at him one more time before standing on your tip-toes so you could gently press your lips against his. Bumblebee was frozen still for a moment as he processed your warm, soft lips against his cool metal plating, but after the tension faded, he found himself resting his servos on your hips and melted into it. 

One kiss turned into many; again, again, and again, you moved your lips against his in a manner so intoxicating that he couldn’t get enough of it.

Eventually, though, you pulled away and smiled up at him, but now that he had gotten to kiss you like that, he couldn’t help but want more. 

“I, uh... I’m not sure the favor has been returned yet,” Bumblebee averted his optics from your eyes, able to feel his spark beating faster. “I might need one more kiss just to be sure-”

You chuckled, cutting him off by leaning up again and sloppily pushing your lips against his- and, with that, he was gone.

#bumblebee #tfa bumblebee #tfa optimus prime #optimus prime #tfa #transformers animated #transformers #fanfiction #x reader #bumblebee x reader #fluff #bulkhead #tfa bulkhead #bumblebee is the simpiest simp #and we love him for it #king goes bzbzbzbzbz #haha totally not writing comfort content rn bc jenny jinya released a new comic no sir

[samspenandsword]

Training: Anakin Skywalker/Reader (GN)

Summary: While training together at the Jedi Temple, you and Anakin have somehow wound up being friends. And if your traitorous heart had a say about it, you would be more than that. Pre-Episode II Pairing: Anakin Skywalker/reader; gender-neutral reader with no descriptions of their appearance.  Rating: GEN — SFW Warnings: None — fluff, pining, light violence (lightsaber duel), some language. Word Count: 1k

The training room reeked of sweat and competition, and that came as no surprise seeing as the two padawans had been going at it for close to two hours now. Jedi stamina was something to speak of, that was for sure. 

Both padawans had planned to let themselves go for as long as possible, wanting a good workout with each other. So both of them had shucked their outer robes and tunics, leaving them in their light undershirts, loose pants, and boots.

You flashed a cheeky grin at Anakin as your blades locked between your chests. Sweat trickled down your temples and the back of your neck, but you ignored it, instead focusing on Anakin.

“I’ll admit, Ani, you’ve improved.”

You made sure to use his childhood nickname, knowing it would make him grind his teeth.

But instead, Anakin simply grinned back — that signature, Anakin Skywalker grin that set most Jedi on edge, but made your heart pound.

“You haven’t.”

You laughed, disengaging your blade from his. The blue of his blade nearly matched the blue of his eyes, and you had long-since trained yourself to not get lost in them. At least, not while you guys were dueling.

You brought your blade up, swiping at Anakin in an admittedly half-hearted attack. He met your blade, pressing down on it and trying to force it from your grip. You allowed Anakin to force your lightsaber down and brought your knee up into his middle. He coughed with surprise, and you were able to detach your blade from his. 

“Hey!” Anakin complained, in that petulant tone he had so perfectly mastered. “I thought we were dueling, not sparring!”

You allowed yourself to huff a laugh. You were getting tired, and it was harder and harder to keep going. Two hours of non-stop lightsaber combat will do that. “Feel free to lodge a complaint with the Council.”

Anakin swung at you in an overhead arc, but you were too quick and ducked. With a pair of grins, your duel picked up speed again.

Swipe. Block. Thrust. Parry. Jump. Duck. Your blades continuously clashed, sparks flying between you. The air was filled with grunts and the constant humming of lightsabers. Anakin was fierce, aggressive, strong and fast. You were lighter on your feet, spinning away from his constant onslaught and meeting the attacks with your own. You could tell Anakin was getting frustrated  — his attacks were getting wilder, and you found yourself struggling to block and counter them all. But when Anakin got wild, he got sloppy. So when he swung at you in a wide arc, leaving his middle and legs completely open, who were you to ignore it?

With a swift kick, you took Anakin’s legs out from under him, and he went sprawling. You didn’t hesitate to reach out, drawing his lightsaber from his hand with the Force. You caught it and in another second, your blade was at his throat.

Anakin glowered up at you, but then his expression relaxed into that carefree grin of his and he began to laugh. Anakin waved his hands in surrender. You grinned in triumph, deactivating your blade and instantly falling to the floor beside Anakin.

“Thank Force, I’m tired,” you huffed, chest heaving from your workout. Your neckline was soaked with sweat and you knew you’d need a good soak in the fresher tonight. You sniffed, tossing a cringe Anakin’s way. “You stink.”

“That’s you, you’re smelling.”

“No, I don’t think so. Only you can stink worse than a wet bantha.”

Anakin laughed, his own chest still heaving from the duel. But a second later, he had rolled right over on top of you.

“Anakin!” You pushed, but he didn’t budge and instead settled between your legs, making your heart pound. He didn’t seem to notice. Anakin took a dramatic sniff and winced.

“Wet bantha, huh? Better than smelling like Obi-Wan’s armpit when he’s nervous.”

You gave an indignant cry, still trying to shove him off of you, but Anakin laughed, and you found yourself softening.

Anakin’s laugh was so beautiful. Just like the rest of him. Sure he was loud, emotional, far too impulsive, cocky. But he was also clever, caring, demonstrative, passionate. He was so unique and so unlike anyone you’d ever met that right from the moment you’d met him, you knew he’d change your life. You’d felt the Force ripple within yourself, and you continued to feel it every time he stared at you with those frustratingly pretty eyes. Or flashed that irritatingly gorgeous smile.

Attachments were not the Jedi way. Romantic attachments especially. But no matter how hard you’d tried to stamp those feelings down, release them into the Force, ignore them, overcome them, shove them away from awareness, beat them into oblivion, none of it had worked. So you allowed your feelings to exist. Allowed them to warm your heart in your rare moments together. Allowed them to stoke the fire of hope in your soul. Allowed them to grow, slowly and quietly, until sometimes you thought those feelings were the only things you were aware of anymore. 

But it never felt wrong. It never felt dark. Or dangerous. So you were content to let your feelings live inside you, thriving off the bright light of his eyes and smile. 

And nothing more.

But as you both stood, clipping your sabers to your belts and picking up your discarded layers, Anakin flashed another smile your way. A different smile. A softer smile.

And your breath hitched.

Kriff, you were so screwed, weren’t you?

Definitely karked, you thought as Anakin’s arms wrapped you in a hug.

His hands settled on your hips, lower than you both knew they should’ve, and your arms settled around his neck, fingers unable to resist the temptation of touching his hair. You would swear Anakin shivered, but then he was smiling again, and you couldn’t focus on much else.

“I missed you,” he said, his voice so quiet you weren’t sure you were meant to hear the sentiment. For years now, you and Anakin had been constantly deployed on missions, in the constant company of your masters. So these moments of duels and banter and hidden desire were rare. And that made them all the more special. 

“I missed you too, Anakin,” you breathed. He drew you into his chest, and you were only too willing to sink into him.

No matter what the future brought, no matter where your paths took you, you knew you would always have this. Memories of stolen moments. The warmth of his embrace. And you would always have Anakin, in whatever way he was willing to give.

And that was enough.

#star wars #star wars x reader #sw x reader #sw anakin skywalker #star wars anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x you #anakin skywalker x you #anakin x y/n #anakin skywalker x y/n #sw anakin #star wars anakin #star wars prequels #sw prequels #prequels anakin #prequels anakin skywalker #padawan anakin #padawan anakin skywalker #anakin imagine #anakin fluff #star wars anakin skywalker x reader #sw anakin x reader #pining #star wars prequels trilogy #star wars x you #sw x you #star wars x y/n

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter Seven}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was out with Elain, Mor, Emerie, Amren, and Gwen for the night.

She had no idea when she’d be home.

This meant one thing and one thing only.

It was Cassian’s first night alone with Nyx.

It was no different than being home alone with Nyx during the day, which Cassian had been a handful of times thus far. However, Nyx didn’t seem to need as much during the day.

Eat, sleep, play, repeat.

At night, he needed a dinner, a bath, his bottle, to be rocked, to be put down for the night…which was something he never liked doing. A daytime nap? He didn’t mind. Sleeping for nine hours? Apparently that thought just pissed him off.

Nesta was a pro at getting him to sleep for the night. Cassian had offered once to do it and failed miserably.

“Not tonight, little man,” Cassian said to Nyx as they sat at the dinner table together. “Tonight, you’re going to bed the first time for Uncle Cassian.”

Nyx looked at Cassian and giggled.

Cassian scoffed. “Don’t mock me.”

Dinner with Cassian meant Nyx got the good shit. No puréed green beans or mashed carrots tonight. After he’d polished off a small jar of the cinnamon apples, Nyx had eaten nearly half a tube of puréed sweet potato, and Cassian was eating his own food. He took a bite of supreme pizza and pointed at him, before holding up a single finger. “After this, we’re gonna take a bath, and you aren’t going to throw water everywhere or poop in the tub, got it?”

Nyx just banged his little hand on the tray of his high chair, causing more sweet potato to fly onto himself, grinning up at Cassian.

“Then one last bottle before bed, while I read you a story,” he said, holding up a second finger. “I’m sure there will be a diaper change in there somewhere, so please go easy on me, yeah?”

Nyx played in the mess of mixed food in front of him.

“And then you go to bed, so I can watch a movie and pass out myself, and boom. Nesta can’t say anything about my parenting anymore cause I managed to keep you alive for a whole night.”

Nyx blew a raspberry at him before he started babbling.

Cassian took that as agreement.

“Perfect,” Cassian said, ruffling Nyx’s dark hair as he shoved the rest of the pizza into his mouth with his other hand.

He got up to clear his plate, and by the time he went back to Nyx’s high chair, he had managed to make orange streaks in his black hair.

Courtesy of the sweet potatoes.

With a sigh, Cassian took the tray off the high chair and unbuckled Nyx, picking him up and carrying him toward the bath.

“You first, tray second,” Cassian said.

Nyx started patting his little potato covered hands on Cassian’s cheeks, giggling at the sound it made.

Cassian cringed at the way it felt. “Thanks for that.”

He filled the bathtub up, ensuring it wasn’t too hot, like Nesta had shown him, and got Nyx out of his messy clothes and into the tub. After he’d wiped his own face clean of sweet potato, he went to work on Nyx, who had somehow managed to get it on the back of his knees.

Twenty minutes and a full change of wet, soggy clothes later for Cassian, he was sitting in Nyx’s nursery, in the rocking chair in the corner, a book open in his lap.

“This would be a book your parents bought you,” he muttered, opening the front cover. After clearing his throat, he began, “The night sky of Velaris greeted all the townspeople, letting them know it was time to go to bed.” Nyx patted the page and babbled something incoherent. Cassian nodded. “Yeah, it’s a nice picture, isn’t it?” He went on reading the story, written by a local author, no doubt, and Cassian found himself snorting at some of the sentences, but Nyx was fully engaged.

By the time he had finished the book, Nyx was leaning back against him, fully relaxed in his pajamas.

Even Cassian let out a yawn.

“You know, the Velaris starlight was important to your parents,” Cassian said, rocking Nyx back and forth. “They fell in love on Starfall. At least, that’s what Rhys always said. He was in love with your mama long before that, but she started falling for him on Starfall.” Nyx’s dark lashes began to fall, his eyelids drooping. “That’s why they named you Nyx. In Greek, Nyx means night.”

Nyx’s hand gripped Cassian’s thumb. He looked down at the sight and chuckled, quietly.

The baby looked up at him then, with those big, blue eyes, eyes that were so blue, they looked violet in the dark. That dark hair that was starting to need a trim, falling into his eyes. Cassian blinked quickly, trying to keep the sudden tears from spilling over. “You look so much like your dad,” he whispered.

Nyx just continued to watch him, pacifier in his mouth, those eyes getting sleepier with every rock of the chair.

Swallowing harshly, Cass set the book down and resituated Nyx so he was laying against his chest. He gently rubbed his back, the way he saw Nesta do when he would get fussy.

“I miss your dad,” he said, softly. “I know you do, too, you’ve known him your whole life, but—. But so have I. And after twenty-eight years he’s just…gone.”

That dark head snuggled in closer against him, one of his little hands clutching Cassian’s t-shirt.

Cassian said nothing else. If he had, he wouldn’t have gotten them out clearly.

He rocked. He rocked and he rocked and he rocked until Nyx was snoring, softly. As carefully as he could, Cassian rose and laid Nyx down in his crib.

After waiting a moment to make sure he didn’t wake up, Cassian tiptoed out of the room and across the hall to his own bedroom.

He had just laid down and unlocked his phone when he heard crying.

Tossing his phone back on his pillow, Cassian was instantly up, hurrying back across the hall. Nyx’s feet were kicking, his arms waving wildly, perfectly unhappy.

“What’s going on?” Cassian asked, picking the baby up out of the crib and cradling him against his chest. “Huh? You were sleeping so nicely.”

He continued to cry, and no amount of bouncing or patting his back was seeming to work.

“Come on, dude,” he muttered, sitting back down in the rocker. He resumed the slow back and forth motion, praying it would soothe Nyx back into peaceful sleep. “We did the bath. We did the bottle. We did the book. This is when you go to sleep.”

He kept crying and Cassian just shushed him quietly, his hand resuming the gentle rubbing he had done before. It helped, but Nyx still sniffled. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m still scared I’m gonna do something to fuck up and I wouldn’t just be doing it to you, it’d be to Rhys, too.”

Nyx’s wailing returned, and Cassian tried to close his eyes and take deep breaths. It wasn’t working. With everything he tried, Nyx only cried more and more and more.

“Come on, buddy,” he begged. “It’s time for bed, alright? It’s time to calm down.” Nyx let out a cry so loud that Cassian nearly jumped, which only scared Nyx, making him cry louder.

Cassian tried changing his diaper, tried getting him to take his pacifier, but nothing helped. He continued to rock, continued to pat, continued to walk Nyx around his room, but nothing worked.

Nothing.

Defeated, Cassian laid Nyx back down in his crib. “Come on, bud. Come on.”

Nyx kept crying, and Cassian rubbed his temples, trying not to join his nephew in his agony.

“Shhhhhh,” Cassian began, leaning over the crib, patting Nyx’s stomach. “It’s time for bed, Nyx. It’s time for bed. If your parents were here right now, I’m sure you’d already be asleep. Shit, if Nesta were here, you’d already be asleep.” He shook his head. “It’s me, isn’t it?”

The baby replied by continuing to cry.

He swore quietly, and hurried across the hall grabbing his phone, dialing a number he’d unknowingly memorized. She answered on the second ring.

“Is everything okay?”

He couldn’t hear music and laughter in the background of the call, but heard how panicked her voice was. She must have stepped away from her friends. It only made him feel that much worse.

“I can’t get him to stop crying and go to sleep,” he admitted. “I don’t know what else to try.”

“You gave him his bottle?” She asked, and he nodded. Then audibly answered her. After that, she ticked off the checklist of things she usually went through. Every single one he’d already tried.

“It’s like it’s just me,” he said, trying to calm him down while he held the phone to his ear. He scooped him up into his arms and sat down in the rocking chair. “He hates me and won’t go to sleep.”

She was quiet for a minute. “You know that’s not true, Cassian. He loves you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said, quietly, low enough that he wasn’t sure if the receiver could pick it up over Nyx’s wailing.

But it didn’t matter, because he heard footsteps hurrying up the stairs.

When Nesta rounded the corner, she wasn’t expecting to find Cassian looking defeated in the rocking chair. She pretended not to see the tears on his handsome face as she dropped her purse by the door of the nursery and took Nyx. She began to soothe him and tried to give him back his pacifier, but he wouldn’t take it.

“He’s cutting a new tooth,” Nesta said, carefully looking into his mouth, wide open thanks to a drawn out sob. “That’s all. He’s just uncomfortable, isn’t he?”

By the end of the sentence she was looking at Nyx, an over-exaggerated frown on her face.

She handed him back to Cassian and was downstairs and back with cooling, teething toy she’d pulled out of the freezer. He began to chew and gnaw on it the moment she handed it to him.

The crying quieted.

“There,” she said, smoothing his dark hair back from his forehead. “Better, yeah?”

Taking him from Cassian who hadn’t said a word since she walked in, she put him back into his crib and gently rubbed his belly. Within minutes, he was asleep again.

He murmured, “Thanks. You…didn’t have to end your night early for me.” He gestured toward the front door. “You can head back out. I can— I can handle it now.”

She shook her head. “I was on the way home. Turns out I wasn’t really in the going out mood.”

Cassian nodded, and said no more. He simply watched Nyx, his chest rising and falling. Nesta gave him a curt nod and walked out, back into the hall.

Cassian followed, shutting the nursery door quietly behind him.

“You did that so effortlessly.”

Nesta stopped and turned to face him near her bedroom, a brow raised. “Effortlessly?”

“I’ve been struggling for hours and you came in, and less than five minutes… He was out.” Cassian shook his head. “I’ve known him since the day he was born and I had no idea what he wanted.”

“He’s a baby, Cassian. He doesn’t even know what he wanted.”

“You knew,” he said, exasperated, exhausted.

She blinked, not expecting the tone of his voice to have sounded so…empty.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nesta said, looking at him, willing him to meet her eyes. He didn’t look up.

“It’s not okay,” he said, and suddenly his words were sharp. “Rhys trusted me to take care of him but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

She shook her head. “They trusted us, but they knew it wouldn’t be easy. We knew it wouldn’t be easy. We just have to take it day by day and-.”

“It’s not okay!” His words weren’t loud but they were panicked. “I have to provide for him and I can’t fucking do it if I don’t know what he needs.”

“Cassian-.”

“Why would they choose me?” He asked, his voice quiet. Tears filled his eyes. He hated himself for it. “I never even wanted kids! I have no idea what to do with a kid, Nesta. I don’t know what parents are supposed to do, what dads are supposed to do, I didn’t even fucking have one.”

Nesta remained quiet, afraid to speak, afraid to move. She had never seen Cassian like this.

She didn’t think anyone had ever seen Cassian like this.

“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to do this,” he repeated. “I can’t— I can’t do this.”

She knew her words would mean nothing, reassuring him that he wasn’t alone in this, that they would figure it out together. It wouldn’t help him, wouldn’t ease his mind or his heart. That heart that was still broken from the loss of his best friend, his brother. So she did something she never thought she’d do.

She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around him.

Cassian didn’t move for a moment, he just let her slim arms wrap around his waist, not realizing that he was on the brink of losing it. He was fairly sure that right now, she was the only thing holding him together, both mentally and physically. But after a long minute, his own arms wrapped around her shoulder and he buried his face into the top of her hair. He didn’t care that his tears were soaking her hair, didn’t care that this was the woman he’d spent the past five years hating and avoiding like she was the damn plague.

He didn’t care that he was falling to pieces.

Standing in that hallway, with Nyx sleeping behind the closed bedroom door, Cassian wept, and he didn’t care who saw it.

#life as we know it #snacmc lawki #lawki #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N: hello, my loves! i am a senior in high school so the next two weeks are going to be extremely hectic for me with final exams and other senior stuff. i will try to get out chapters when i can but they may not always be on time!

Masterlist

Chapter 30

You returned home to see Spencer at the kitchen table with his laptop out and a bunch of papers sprawled out in front of him.

“What’s all this?” you asked.

“So you know how we were discussing moving into a slightly bigger house to have room for the twins,” Spencer said, “I found us a realtor and I have been printing out different houses that fit our requirements all day. You can go through them and I’ll send the approved ones over to her so she can schedule us a tour.”

“Alright, let’s see them,” you smiled, taking the seat next to him.

His hand immediately found its way to your belly and began his rubbing motions.

“This one is close to Jo's elementary school but she will only be there for 2 more years but the twins will be going there eventually. It’s just a little bit of a bigger yard than we have here. But, it’s pretty far away from your work,” Spencer stated.

He continued to go through the contenders, thoroughly explaining every pro and con that you wouldn’t even have thought of.

“This last one has the biggest backyard of them all. It’s about 8 minutes closer to your work than here. It’s even got a little sun room we can use as a book nook! It is farther from Jo’s school but it’s about a 3 minute drive to JJ and Will’s so we could start a carpool with them,” Spencer spoke.

“I think that one is my favorite as of now. And, I’m sure Jo wouldn’t have any arguments about being closer to her best friend,” you giggled.

“There’s also one more thing we need to brainstorm,” you began, “Names for the little ones. I honestly spent the better part of the day trying to think of some but I just can’t.”

“I have an idea,” Spencer smiled softly, “Ophelia.”

It was Spencer’s favorite song on your playlist that you played in the car. He even sang along to it sometimes, he actually had a nice voice when he wholeheartedly sang without caring about potentially embarrassing himself.

“Heaven help a fool who falls in love,” you grinned, finishing the lyric.

“I’m stuck on a boy name though,” Spencer huffed.

Jo came strolling into the kitchen to get her afternoon snack.

“Baby J, do you have any name suggestions for your little brother?” you asked.

Her face lit up and she ran back upstairs. She came racing back down with two books in her hand.

“Daddy, remember?” she held up a picture book.

“That’s the story I read you last night,” Spencer nodded.

“Name him ‘Oliver’ like the little baby elephant in the book!” she exclaimed.

“I actually love it,” you grinned.

“Ollie for short,” Spencer added with a smile.

“And for sister, Pinkalicious!” Jo beamed, holding up the other picture book.

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry. I think we already decided on ‘Ophelia’ for sister but we’ll keep that in the back of our minds,” you told her, giving her a pat on the head before she went back upstairs.

“I don’t know Spencer, Pinkalicious Y/L/N-Reid has quite the ring to it,” you giggled.

-

Your maternity leave had officially begun the week before you were due. You were lounging on the couch watching a nature documentary with Jo when you felt the sudden urge to use the bathroom.

As you stood, you felt the rushing of warm water trail down your thighs, effectively soaking your leggings, followed by a searing cramping sensation.

You immediately sat down on the hardwood floor, cringing in pain and exhaling sharply.

“Jo,” you breathed out, “I need you to call Daddy and tell him the twins are coming and get me a towel please.”

“Okay, Mommy,” Jo nodded, hopping off the couch and grabbing your phone.

She pressed Spencer’s contact as she ran upstairs to get you a towel.

Spencer was in the checkout line at the grocery store when his phone started to buzz in his pocket.

He fished it out, seeing your contact pop up, “Hey, love. I’m already in line but if you need something, make it quick so I can go run and get it.”

“Daddy! It’s Jo,” Jo announced from the other side of the phone.

“Hi, Princess. Is everything okay?” Spencer asked.

“Mommy peed a lot,” she started to say.

Spencer then heard your scream of pain in the background.

“And she said the twins are coming,” Jo stated.

“Uh-um-okay Jo, tell Mommy I’ll be there in 10 minutes. And um call Auntie JJ to come pick you up,” Spencer frantically spoke.

“Next,” the cashier called out.

“Um hi, I just got a call that my wife is going into labor so I have to go. I’m so sorry.”

The cashier smiled, “No problem. I think your wife needs you a lot more right now than these groceries.”

“Thank you,” Spencer rushed out of the store, breaking every speed limit on the way home.

JJ was pulling into the driveway at the same time Spencer was.

“Oh good, Jo called you,” Spencer said, exiting his car, “Thank you for taking her.”

“It’s no problem. She can stay with us for as long as you need,” JJ replied as they both rushed into the house.

You were still on the ground, sitting on the towel Jo retrieved for you.

“Spence, it hurts so bad like really really bad. Worse than Jo,” you grabbed his hand with tears running down your face.

“I’m so sorry, love, that I can’t take some of that pain away but we’ve got to get you to the hospital with doctors and nurses who can help,” he spoke softly, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumbs.

You nodded and Spencer held out his arm for you to grab on to so he could help you up.

“Hospital bag?” you questioned.

“Already in the car, love. You’re doing so good, look we’re almost at the car,” he encouraged you.

“I’m going to ruin your seat,” you huffed out, motioning to your soggy pants.

“Love, that is the furthest of my concerns right now,” he assured you, helping you into the car and buckling you in.

-

“My wife’s in labor!” Spencer announced as he helped you hobble into the ER.

Immediately, a nurse rolled a wheelchair over to you.

“I called in the car. Dr. Collins is supposed to be on call,” Spencer said.

“Yes, right this way,” the nurse guided you to a room in the delivery wing where Dr. Collins was already waiting.

“Ah, the Reids! I guess the babies decided to come out a week early,” she smiled as Spencer and the nurse helped you into the bed.

“I’m going to check to see how many centimeters dilated you are. You can start pushing at 10,” she stated, “...and you are somehow already there. These babies are very eager to meet their parents!”

“I’m going to check the ultrasound real quick,” Dr. Collins rolled the machine over to you and scanned the wand across your belly.

“So unfortunately, we aren’t going to be able to have a vaginal birth today like planned. The baby girl is ready to come out first but she is in breech position meaning she is flipped the opposite way we want her. We’re going to bring you up to the OR for a C-section, okay?”

You looked at Spencer panickedly.

“Scared, Spence” is all you could muster.

“I can be in there with her, right?” Spencer asked.

“That is correct,” Dr. Collins nodded.

“Love, you are the strongest and bravest person I know. You can do this,” Spencer brushed your stray hairs back, “I will be right by your side the whole time and then you can finally have Ophelia and Oliver in your arms.”

“Okay,” you nodded, wincing as another contraction intensified.

“I love you so much,” Spencer kissed the top of your head as they wheeled you up to the OR.

The nurse handed Spencer scrubs to put on over his normal clothes, “Love, I need to let go of your hand for just a second to put these on but then I’ll be right back.”

Spencer continued to give you words of encouragement and promises of all the things you were going to do together as a family with the new babies to distract you from the discomfort throughout the c-section.

When you heard the first cry, you started to get choked up.

“Oh god, she’s so beautiful, Y/N. We made that,” Spencer sobbed.

You squeezed his hand, “Go.”

“Are you sure?” Spencer asked.

“Ophelia is crying for her Daddy,” you smiled through happy tears.

Spencer stood and was out of your line of vision but you could still hear his occasional sobs and him calling out the weight and other things to you from across the room.

You heard the second distinct cry. You could already tell your babies apart from just their wails alone.

“Ollie’s here, love!” Spencer bawled, “He’s just as precious as Ophelia.”

You were stitched up and brought into the recovery room as the babies were measured, tested, and swaddled. Spencer rolled two bassinets into your room with the biggest smile on his face and watery eyes.

“I can’t believe they’re here,” you wept, “How are they so cute?”

Spencer gently lifted up Ollie and placed him into your left arm and then Ophelia in your right.

You held the cooing babies in your arms, looking down at them in complete awe.

“Spence, can you take one of them?” you asked, “I mean I would love to hold them both forever but I’m thoroughly exhausted.”

“Ollie seems to be on the same page,” Spencer smiled at the little boy snoozing in your arms, “I’ll take Ophelia for a little walk and make some phone calls to our families and the team.”

Sleeping didn’t seem to be on Ophelia’s schedule as she was staring around the room with her big wide eyes, trying to take in the whole world.

“Ophelia, that’s your Dada,” you explained to her even though you knew she couldn’t understand.

“Yes, I’m your Dada,” Spencer beamed as he accepted the baby into his arms.

taglist: (just ask to be added or removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @rem-ariiana

#spencer reid fluff #dad!spencer #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer x reader #reid x reader #cm fanfic #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #cm fic

[dr3amofagame]

Dream thought that he can bring server together, he thought that they can be one big family... Well at least he really bond them, even if they bonded to fight against him. Even if that mean he's not part of this server anymore.

right,, the one big happy family thing always destroys me

bc it’s really the driving force behind everything he’s done, the reason why he’s cut off everything he’s ever loved, moved forwards despite everything he’s ever lost. it doesn’t make what he does right, by any means, but c!dream’s longing for a better past, his clinging to a family he loved and lost - it’s so desperately, painfully human and is very much the cherry on top of his whole tragic story. it’s something that tugs at my heart every time i think about it - especially how in the end, pretty much nobody knew what drove him to the lengths he went to, and how everyone still sees him as being motiveless, or doing it all for personal gain and power. it’s reasonable, with their limited povs, but oh man does it hurt when we know his real reasoning.

this,, ended up weirdly long haha but oh man was it fun. have some dream team angst as i cry abt c!dream for the millionth time 

tws: death, grief, off-screen murder, implied mental deterioration

Two weeks after Dream dies, Sapnap asks George if he wants to come to the vault.

He almost says no. It’d be an early journey if they want to get out without anyone seeing, and he’s just- tired. He’s been tired for months even though he spends most of his time sleeping, usually can’t even find the energy to pull himself out of bed. The weird dreams hadn’t helped in the slightest, though they’ve been gone for a few weeks, and he’s not seen XD in a long time, save for a few minutes after he first heard the news. In all honesty, he doesn’t want to deal with the mental strain of anything to do with Dream at all.

But- Sapnap is still his best friend, even if they’ve grown apart ever since that fateful night with Dream, and he still knows the Netherborn better than nearly- well, everyone, now, with Dream gone. As much as Sapnap tried to put on a strong front, Dream’s death had taken its toll.

Killing Dream had taken its toll.

He’d been asleep (again) when it all went down, but he knows that somehow, Dream had escaped prison. Somehow, it ended with Sapnap’s sword stabbed hilt-deep in Dream’s chest, an unmarked grave in the forest behind the Community House that he knows Sapnap visits when he thinks nobody’s watching.

So when Sapnap asks, dark bags under his red-rimmed eyes, if he wants to come with him to see what belongings they can find in Dream’s old blackstone-brick vault- he says yes.

“There,” Sapnap gestures over the crest of a netherrack cliff above a bubbling lava lake, and George strains to look at what the other is pointing at. There, settled over a small outcrop of netherrack and gravel, a messy bridge of various blocks leading from it, lies the signature black and purple silhouette of a nether portal. “It’s just across that.”

George hums in acknowledgement, and they clamber down in sync. It’s been a while since he’s spent time one-on-one with Sapnap like this; George had half-forgotten what it feels like, to work with someone so different and yet know them so well. Years and years of teamwork means they fall in step almost without thinking, Sapnap easily sliding forward to block a skeleton’s arrow while George nocks one of his own to shoot it through the skull. It is a partnership built on years of bickering and banter and deep-set trust, of having to face a stronger, more agile opponent together through wind and rain and snow.

He missed it, though he’ll never admit that to anyone but himself.

He hesitates in front of the nether portal, pulling Sapnap back automatically by his sweater sleeve. “You sure the other side is safe?”

“Yeah, yeah- it should be,” Sapnap pulls his arm away, lets him enter the portal first before stepping into the frame himself. “Not a manhunt.”

“Mm,” George laughs, tired. “Just checking.”

The portal hums, purple creeping into the corners of George’s vision and filling it until it’s all he can see, and he rubs at his eyes to clear his vision as he stumbles out the other side. Sapnap walks out, seeming unfazed - it’s always been something that George has envied in the other, how unaffected he is by portals, but he’s also always had worse portal sickness than most- “We’re here.”

The place is - put lightly, a wreck, wooden planks scattered all over the floor and inch-deep water sloshing around his shoes. “What’s with the water?”

“I don’t know, someone must’ve come here after for something,” Sapnap frowns, points across the room to a chute leading upwards, filled with a crude spiral staircase of oak. “We’re going up there.”

George nods, letting him take the lead. The staircase is rickety, the bottom steps waterlogged; Sapnap grimaces the whole way up, makes some comment under his breath about how unsafe it all is, but they continue without much issue. The top of it is surprisingly unassuming - there’s really nothing around, just a small hollowed out space carpeted by savannah grass, shorn short. Sapnap tosses him a pickaxe.

“He respawned up here, that day - he’s gotta have a bed up here somewhere.” He gestures at the plain stone walls surrounding them, “My guess is that it’s just behind one of these walls. Just mine two or three blocks in all the way across, I’ll start from this side.”

“Whatever, Snapnap,” George takes the pickaxe anyway, walking over to the other side of the room and ignoring the protests Sapnap throws at his back. Mining the stone is simple, methodical; it’s a steady rhythm of the pick hitting stone and blocks falling into his inventory; if he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend that they’re in the middle of a manhunt, and Dream has holed himself into the wall as he always does for them to find him. He doesn’t, because thinking about manhunt does nothing but make something cold and choking claw up his throat, almost like guilt, almost like regret, and he doesn’t have the energy for that in the slightest.

His next swing rings oddly hollow, and when the block drops neatly away the wall opens to a narrow corridor. He calls Sapnap over.

“Here.” Sapnap moves with large, heavy strides, face tightening into a foreign expression of grim determination when he catches the darkness behind the one-block hole George mined, “I found it.”

“Well, obviously,” he rolls his eyes as he takes out the bottom block, looking at George from the corner of his eye. “Nice observation, genius.”

“Hey! You told me to find it, and I did, unlike you- you should be thanking me, Sapnap.”

“Whatever, Gogy,” Sapnap sighs, looking into the corridor, feet settling against the ground into a wide stance that George recognizes as the one he’d usually use in a fight. It makes something long-forgotten ache in his chest, joining the dull ball of hurt that has been there for what feels like months, “You ready?”

“Yeah, yeah, hurry up, will you?” The retort rings hollow, dying on his lips even as he says it, and George watches as Sapnap turns his head away and pretends not to notice.

“Let’s go.”

The hallway is dark, dusty, a hastily made thing as shown by the rough gouges made on either side by a quickly working pickaxe. It opens into a tiny room, similarly carved into the mountain with roughhewn walls of stone; George’s lips thin and press against each other as he takes a closer look at the room, stepping in behind Sapnap.

“This place is a mess,” he states drily, scuffing his foot against the floor and cringing at the trail it leaves in the dust. There’s a bed left in the corner, a thin little thing with the covers thrown off, lying halfway on the floor, and a few chests and furnaces scattered aimlessly against the walls and making the whole thing look more cramped. There are papers strewn over the floor and chests, piles of coal and wood left to collect dust in the corners. It looks like a whirlwind swept through the place, and it’s almost eerie to see this room, completely untouched since the twentieth, a snapshot in time of Dream in the middle of his spiral into madness.

Sapnap kicks at one such pile with a humorless scoff, “That’s an understatement.”

“You looking for anything in particular?” George jabs his thumb at the mess in front of them, “Because I’m not cleaning all of that up.”

“I guess- just look through the chests?” Sapnap’s face darkens visibly even despite the dim lighting, and George stifles the urge to poke fun at how the younger clearly didn’t plan this far ahead, per usual. “Just look for anything useful, worth taking back I guess.”

“Mmhm.” He moves to the left-most chest as Sapnap moves to the right, watching from the corner of his eye as the other strikes up a torch to place in the middle of the room. The lid creaks open, and he rummages through the contents, vaguely surprised when his hand meets row after row of glass bottles. He pulls one out, squints at the contents. “Hey Sapnap, is this a regen?”

Sapnap looks over. “Yeah,” he says, rolling his eyes when George pockets it. “Seriously- you know Sam literally has an automatic potion brewer, right. You can just steal from that instead.”

“Or I could just steal from here,” he closes the lid, moving to the next chest. “That’s just his pots chest. He really stacked up, didn’t he?”

“Well, you know Dream. Always had to plan for the end of the world.” Sapnap closes the chest that he was hunched over, tossing over something in a flash of gold, “Was just his food chest. Don’t know why someone needs eight stacks of gapples, but whatever. We can split the god apples later.”

“Sure,” George nods, distracted as he fiddles with clasp of the next chest. This one, unlike the last, seems more worn over the bottom edge of the lid, the wood almost seeming to bear dents where fingers had pressed into the areas right by the clasp again and again. The lid eases open, and he frowns at the chest’s contents; there’s no rhyme or reason to them at first glance. There’s a half-stack of stone in the top left, a couple pieces of leather thrown in the bottom corner, a low-durability crossbow, unenchanted, that he briefly runs his hands over before throwing it back into the chest. He rummages through it for another second, about to dismiss it as a junk chest, when a well-worn book near the back of the chest catches his eye.

He pulls it towards him with careful hands, breath having caught in his throat. The cover is leather, scuffed and scratched in several places, not bearing the dull shine of a book that’s been signed and preserved magically. It doesn’t seem to be titled, no ink against the usual places on the front cover or spine, but the whole thing looks well-loved, the thread of the spine slightly frayed the leather heavily creased from where the cover had been eased open again and again.

He opens the front cover, and sucks in a breath through his teeth.

“Sapnap? I think I found something.”

There, nestled between the front cover and the first page, lays a pile of photographs. Unlike everything else in the room, these are clearly well-loved, well-cared for, the corners are sharp, the surfaces shiny, despite how often they must have been thumbed through and looked at. He plucks the first one off the top of the pile - it’s one that was taken from the inside of the old community house before the floor was replaced with crafting tables, string lights hanging from the ceiling in an impromptu party, Alyssa’s legs dangling from where she’s sitting at the edge of the spiral staircase, Callahan leaning against the wall with a slice of cake held between his hands. Sapnap’s sitting in the middle of the floor across from himself, both of their faces glowing softly in the flickering light - his own face is caught in a grimace, Sapnap bent over himself in laughter- Sapnap walks up behind him, gasps at the sight.

“What are-”

George passes over the photo wordlessly as he moves to the next; there’s Sam, grinning at the camera with a newly tamed Fran by his side, tail a white blur against the green of the grass; Bad, hands clutched around a bucket as he yells at someone off the frame, a salmon head poking slightly out the top; Ponk, sitting proudly in the top branches of his first lemon tree.

His breath catches at the next; it’s dim, the sky a pretty blend of purple-pink from the last remaining dregs of light of a sunset, hovering over the dark edge of the ocean stretching out towards the horizon. They’re sitting in boats, the bottom edges lit softly from the coral sitting in the shallow waters below them, brilliant halos of reds and pinks and yellows and oranges and blues dotted with the soft lights of sea pickles painting the wood in muted rainbows. Sapnap’s smiling from one in the back, head tipped to the side cheekily, right hand lifted in a cocky two-fingered salute. George is sitting in the back of a boat in the foreground, glasses lifted to his forehead, eyes mid-roll even as he grins obligingly at the camera-

And then, in the front, there’s Dream.

His mask is pulled to the side of his face, exposing his freckled skin and brilliant green eyes; he’s smiling widely, all teeth, hair wet and sticking up in a ring of untamed swirls and spikes. His eyes are crinkled at the corners, cheeks red, arm stretched forward off-frame from where he’d held the camera in front of them to take the selfie. George’s thumb brushes over the photo, pressing lightly against the dusty mess of hair framing Dream’s face, pausing at the sight of his pure, unadulterated joy.

What had happened to them?

A soft, choked sound comes from behind him, and George tucks the photos away, pressing them between two random pages in the book. His eyes flicker to the book’s contents, finally, finding Dream’s familiar, looping scrawl written on the first page. The words are big and messy, all capitalized and underlined several times, the last four circled roughly.

REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE DOING THIS: ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.

He snaps the book shut.

“George-”

“Let’s go home, Sapnap.” He throws one last look at the room, at the messy, desperate edges, the remnants of a man lost in his own reckless belief that he could build something beautiful out of blood and ash. He swallows, blinks back the image of a brilliant smile, freckled cheeks ruddy with laughter, at the golden glow of memories long-forgotten that threaten now to burn him with their warmth. He can imagine Dream, settled in the middle of this mess, pressing himself closer to the fire contained in these photographs, these memories, and not realizing how he’s being burned, can nearly see a ghost of him tucked in these shadowed corners, haunting the hopes that he had clung to against all reason with the promise that it could all be worth it.

Sapnap frowns at him tiredly, photos pressed against his own chest. “George,” he says, cautious, and George’s shoulders hunch defensively.

“Let’s go home,” he stands up, hearing more than seeing as Sapnap does the same. “Whatever closure you’re looking for- you’re not finding it here.”

#tw death #tw grief #tw murder #tw mental deterioration #queue <3 #long post #my writing :D #my asks !!

[whatupitsastarrynite]

It Was Always You

A/N- HEY HEY! This was our first time writing for Coco and we had so so so much fun and we are now starting to feel our boy Johnny more. (or at least I know I am- Britt)

Cheers to Coco, the man who deserves so much more than he has been given thus far! 🥰😘😍

We also have a group chat that you can join and we will post our fic updates in that! 

Thanks so much everyone! We love youuuu!!! 

Imagine: You and Coco grew up together. The pair of you were the best of friends, inseparable right up until he met the woman who would eventually become the mother of his child. From there, you started studying hard in an attempt to get out of Santo Padre and into New York's best writing program. Coco on the other hand spiraled out of control, he was incarcerated and then later he enlisted into the marines. You kept tabs on him, but ultimately you focused on school. You got into the writing program of your dreams, you moved to New York and everything was perfect...so yeah, every now and then you had to ignore the voice in your head that told you that you missed Coco and should call him..but you leaned to cancel that voice out.

Every year for your parents birthday you would facetime them and send them a gift in the mail. As a huge editor to a very popular magazine, you couldn't afford to take time off. This year however, your father was sick, and you knew you needed to see him.

So you packed your bags, jumped on a plane and flew out to Santo Padre. The entire flight you were nervous and you kept fidgeting in your seat.

You had not set foot inside Santo Padre since you were 19 years old. You were in your early 30s now. So many things had changed, but deep down you knew in your soul that one thing remained the same....

Your love for Coco.

You parked in front of your parents’ home, letting out a sigh. Driving through Santo Padre, memories hit you left and right, thinking of shooting the shit with your cousins, sneaking out to smoke some weed at the outskirts of town around a bonfire. 

Santo Padre held such sweet memories for you, but they were also bittersweet. You passed by the park where you and Johnny used to play as children, your love for him growing from there. You passed by the elementary school where you and Johnny held each other down during the third grade, shared lunch since Celia was the worst fucking mother. You passed by the middle school where you realized you had a crush on your best friend. You passed by the high school where you and Johnny eventually grew apart. 

Coco, it was a nickname you fondly gave him, a nickname you made for him and it just stuck. You can’t even recall why you called him Coco, but here you two were now, apart and strangers. But you had to do what you had to do. Seeing Coco with another woman was hard enough, knowing they had a child? It was even worse. But in some ways, you were happy for Coco, it was his chance to have a family.

Even though your family was essentially his. Your parents adored Johnny Cruz. He was always so good with them, helped your mother whenever he was over, learned the ins and outs of car mechanics with your father. He was essentially an adopted son, but when you pulled away, your parents respectively did as well. 

You were startled by the knock on your window. You looked to the side and found your father, looking frailer than usual, but a bright smile still on his face. You returned his smile and quickly got out of your car. Feeling your father’s warm embrace, it made you regret not coming home much more often. You weren’t obtuse, you knew your time with your parents were slowly dimming, it was the harsh reality of life. But you were going to make sure your father was going to be healthy so he could come visit you as he intended to later this year for Christmas. 

“How are you?” You questioned as you pulled away.

“I’m fine, your mother was overreacting. I had pneumonia, it takes the wind out of you, but I’m feeling better. I even helped Coco with this car he got for his daughter.” Your father froze at his words and he sighed. “You know we’ve been talking to Coco.”

And you did, your parents were always honest with you and when you left, they rekindled their relationship with Coco. They excused that one kid was out of the way, at least they still had their other. It made your heart clench when they said that, it was even worse when your mother wanted to update you about Coco, but you refused. No matter how much time had passed, your love for Coco was still ever present, but you figured it would.

He was your first love, and you never had closure. 

“Pops, thanks again.” His voice made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy, you almost felt embarrassed how juvenile it was. “Leticia should be coming in a few hours, if she gives you shit let me know.” He couldn’t see you since your father was blocking your way. As frail as your father was, he was 6′4, 250 pounds, he covered anyone. 

“Coco, you know Leticia loves us, she can be like you, but we’ve done well with you.” Your father moved to the side and Coco’s steps halted, stopping at the middle of the street.

“Hello Johnny.”

Coco blinked a few times as he continued to stare at you. The expression that was plastered on his face made him look like he had seen a ghost.

Your father cleared his throat and that seemed to snap both you and Coco out of your trance.

“I’ll be inside…oh and Johnny, Selena is making dinner tonight if you want to stay. It's homemade enchiladas.”

Coco let out a tiny groan that made your stomach clench as the sound made your thoughts darken to a more impure path.

You felt the blood rush to your face- you had not even been home for thirty minutes and you were already thinking about dragging Coco to your old room.

You took another kick to the stomach as you remembered that Coco never belonged to you that way, he never wanted you that way and he never would. In the past you had hoped, but almost a decade had passed by and he never bothered to reach out.

If he had truly had anything to say to you he would have at least sent you a damn text message.

“Yeah- yeah enchiladas sounds good pops… I just gotta call Letty.” Coco responded

Your dad waved him off.

“Nonsense, she is welcomed too. It’s a family reunion.”

You bit down in your jaw and tried not to outwardly cringe at your dad. He truly was making this more awkward than it needed to be.

“See ya kids inside” He said as he walked off.

Coco watches your dad for a second before he looked back at you. It seemed the initial shock had worn off because he gave you a small smile and shuffled over to you.

“Damn long time no see chica, how the hell have you been?” Coco asked

His voice sent goosebumps crawling up your arms and you couldn’t help the warm feeling that spread through your body as you locked eyes with him.

“I’ve been good, busy… but ya know. Good…..you? What’s um… what’s a Mayan?” You asked as your eyes hovered on the leather kutte he was wearing.

Coco glanced down at his kutte as if he didnt wear it all the time. His eyebrows furrowed before he looked back up at you and huffed out a nervous sounding laugh.

“Its a motorcycle uh club.” He responded

You leveled him with a look, half of you wanted to push him for more information because he was clearly hiding something, the other half just wanted to catch up with him like the old days.

“Ah… so what’s been going on with you? I see you’re still stalking my parents.” You joked as you moved to pick up your suitcase.

Coco laughed and moved quickly to scoop up your bag. As he took the handle in his hand, his fingers brushed over yours and it sent a shockwave through your body that you had not been expecting.

You let out a small gasp and Coco just stared at you with his intense, soul piercing gaze.

You swallowed thickly and moved around his body so that you could make your way to the house.

“I don’t stalk, I’m welcomed here. I’m like their son they never had.” Coco joked back

You snorted but didn't respond. How could you when his joke had landed harder than he had meant for it to.

“So you and Leticia are close huh…I’m glad to hear that Johnny. If I’m being honest I was worried about you… especially since I never heard from you after I left.”

Coco stopped walking and his actions halted yours. You glanced over your shoulder and raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

“What?” You asked as he stared at you.

“I’m sorry you know…. for like never reaching out. I-I figured you were out in New York doing big things and uh..I–I didn’t want to bring you down so uh, I never reached out.”

Your heart clinched at his words and you turned your entire body around to face him. Your feet began to take on a mind of their own and you found yourself walking over to him, stopping only when you were about a foot away from him.

“Johnny…seriously? You were my best friend, I cared about you, I could have never seen you as someone who would have brought me down.”

Coco dipped his head and stared at the ground in silence as he took in your words. You desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, but you knew you couldn’t push him, so instead you stood there in silence, waiting for him to respond to you.

You sighed, somehow you always found yourself waiting for Coco Cruz.

Coco knew you were waiting for him to respond. But where does he even begin? He was sorry he basically walked away from you after he met Alejandra? That he was sorry that he didn’t have the balls to talk to you? To reach out to you? That every day for the past decade, the itch to call, to text you was always great, but it heightened during your birthday or the holidays? It was acceptable to text people during the holidays with no pretenses besides the fact it was the holidays, but you were too special to Coco for that. 

And he was a fucking idiot. 

He didn’t know where exactly it went wrong. He just knew that after he met Alejandra, you ceased to exist in his life and he didn’t even know how to make it right. If anything, he didn’t want to make it right since he spiraled out of control. If Coco was going to ruin his life, he would do it on his own, he could never drag you down with him. It would kill him, knowing he was the reason you were stuck in this god forsaken town. He got out and came right fucking back.

But not you, you were Ms. New York now. 

Missing you never became easier, but it became easier to hide it. Though during the time he was intoxicated, where his inhibitions were low, he called out for you then, it was pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. You were the best part of his life and he was blinded by everything. In hindsight, he felt that he did it himself, to let you see your potential, but he couldn’t credit your greatness to him.

You’ve reached your dreams and it was further proof that you didn’t need him, that you were much better without him. 

You waited patiently at what seemed like forever, but Coco finally opened his mouth to speak. 

“Because after what happened, how I abandoned you during your time of need, I never forgave myself for that. You may not see me as someone who brought you down, but I did. Look at where you are now, if I stayed put, you would be stuck in this fucking town with me.” He grimaced, saying it aloud hurt him much more than he would like to admit. 

“What do you mean?” You were confused as to what he was referring to. High school was tough, but it wasn’t unbearable. 

“When your abuela died, I was so fucking high, you called me ten times and I didn’t fucking answer.” You couldn’t recall that day much, the only thing you remembered was your mother holding you, trying to soothe you the best you can. 

But you guessed that was when things changed for you two. You began to stop relying on Coco, replying to his messages, but not going out of your way to talk to him. It wasn’t all on him, losing your grandmother was hard on you and the following years went by like a breeze. You immersed yourself in school work because you knew she wanted you to further yourself. 

So you did. Trying to distance yourself from Johnny, find a way out of Santo Padre and make your grandmother proud, it was your driving force. 

“It’s fine Johnny shit happens.”

“Stop that, don’t brush it off like it didn’t mean shit.”

“It’s not that it didn’t mean anything, why am I gonna hold it against you that you had a life?”

“I was your best friend, but Alejandra just had this fucking hold on me.”

“She gave you the attention you wanted, can’t fault you for that.”

“What?” 

“Alejandra made you feel good about yourself, there was no pretense with her. She didn’t know you well enough so whatever you gave her, that’s what she knew about you. And she worshipped you, you were basically the greatest thing since eyeliner for her. Can’t fault you for that, you loved her.” 

Alejandra did a number on your relationship. She didn’t like how close you two were, boys and girls couldn’t be friends. They could be, but Alejandra saw how you looked at Coco and made it a mission to break you two apart. 

“I gave up Letty since Alejandra turned up to be the bitch you told me she was.” And he didn’t believe you then, he told you that you were just jealous because you had no one.

But you did have someone, you had him. When those words came out of his mouth, you realized you didn’t have him after all and it hurt you, but it pushed you away, just like what he wanted to do.

“I never cared for Alejandra, but I wanted to be there for you. You were my best friend, I could swallow whatever Alejandra threw my way as long as I had you, but you know, I didn’t.” The chuckle you let out, Coco could hear how forced it was, how you were trying to make light of the situation in some ways. “But, what’s done is done. I’m glad that you’re doing well for yourself Johnny. And it seems like you’re doing well with your daughter.” You offered him a small smile. “I always knew you would be an amazing father, you wouldn’t be like Celia or your deadbeat dad. My parents would have killed you.”

“It does matter, what happened between us, how much time I let pass, it should have never happened. It killed me that I couldn’t bite the bullet and just call you, shit,” Coco sighed. “You were the best part of my life, you gave me a family and you gave me a reason to keep pushing forward.”

“Let’s not dwell on the past, I’m just glad you’re okay.” 

If you were being honest, you just didn’t want to hash it out with Johnny in the middle of the street. Your neighbors were nosey and it was not needed drama. You also didn’t want to tell him that your mother kept you updated on the latest happenings of Johnny’s life. As much as you tried to defer, your mother knew you wanted to hear how your old friend was doing. You knew about Celia, his daughter, and how he was doing better, to some extent. You didn’t know what the hell the Mayans were, but from what you gathered, they were like a family to him. “You live across the street from my parents?”

“Yeah, your pops helped me out with it and it was easy cause I served.”

You nodded your head. “Son they never had.” You shook your head playfully rolling your eyes. 

Coco couldn’t help but look at your left hand and noticed that something was missing.

“Where’s your ring?”

At the mention of your ring your left hand clenched shut. You hid it behind your back and grimaced.

“How did you….” you asked trailing off “My dad talked to you about it??”

Coco sighed and nodded.

“He didn't mention that you broke up though… or why.” He stated

“I didn’t tell him! ” You snapped. Your ex fiance was a sore subject for you, especially since you had just called off the engagement a month ago.

Coco evaluated your body language… he knew you well enough to tell that there was a story there. He didn’t want to pry or upset you, but he also needed to know what happened.

“What happened Y/N?” He asked

“It's a long story.” You replies shortly. You didn't want Coco to find out the reason you dumped Adam. Besides, who was Coco to know practically everything about you when you knew nothing about the man he was today.

“I got time. Shit….its not like I live across the street or anything”

You rolled your eyes at his dry sarcasm as you messed with the finger that used to hold the diamond ring on it.

“It's nothing Johnny….turns out Adam wasn’t who I thought he was.”

Coco gave you that intense stare again and tgrb he smacked his lips together.

“He cheated?” Coco grilled

“Amongst other things.” You shrugged.

Coco took another step forward, effectively making the distance between your bodies smaller.

“What, is he a drunk? A liar? An addict? Controlling? Abusive?” Coco listed off all the reasons he thought you would leave someone over. He gauged your reaction for each one and then stopped when you flinched at the word abusive.

“I’ll fucking kill him.” Coco growled. 

You watched his whole body transform in front of you. He went from soft and sweet to angry and murderous in two seconds flat.

You sighed as you ran a hand through your hair.

“It's over with Johnny.” You stated

‘The fuck it is!!! I’ll cut his hands off and make him eat them, then I’ll kick his ass, then I’ll kill him.“

You couldn’t help it- a chuckle escaped your lips and you shook your head. Maybe a normal person would find this declaration insane, but you knew Coco, and you found it charming that he was so upset and ready to commit literal murder in your honor.

“I’m fine Johnny, please…please just dont tell my dad. He’s already sick and I don't need him worked up over this.” You pleaded taking another step towards your best friend.

The muscle in Coco’s jaw twitched dangerously, and you knew he was still angry, but you also knew that he would keep this secret…for you.

“Fine….but lemme see this dick on the street. I’ll have him dead on the sidewalk in no time.”

You let out a loud laugh now and before you could stop yourself you threw your body into Coco’s surprised arms. Your chest hit his firm one first , and then after the shock wore off his strong arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you to him tightly.

His chin rested on the top of your head and you both took a moment to learn each other's new bodies. You breathed in his scent, a deep cologne mixed with cigarettes and leather. You memorized it and decided then that it was your favorite smell in the entire world.

Above you, Coco’s lips brushed your head as he kissed it gently.

“I missed you…” Coco whispered into your hair

“I missed you too…” you said without hesitation.

You could feel Coco’s lips pull into a smile before he placed another kiss on your head and pulled back to look at you.

“Listen mama, I gotta tell you something…. but you gotta hear me out and promise not to get mad, okay?”

You looked up at his worried face, and nodded in confusion.

“What is it Johnny?”

He inhaled and then slowly breathed out before the words tumbled out of his mouth like a stolen train.

“"After Alejandra I…I didn’t think I would fall for anyone again….she fucking wrecked me….but the day you moved away to New York was the day I realized how badly I fucked up. I..shit…I loved you more than anyone else and I didn’t even know it, shit maybe that was part of the reason she and I broke up, because I always loved you….. and I- I still do. Ya know….love you.”

You wanted to slap yourself, pinch yourself, anything that would give you painful stimuli so that you could wake yourself up. Were you still on the plane? Was the flight attendant about to wake you regarding your arrival to the airport?

It had to be a fucking dream.

For years, you’ve had different versions of this dream, you’ve had different versions as to how Coco would confess to you. One was back in high school, another one when he came to stop your wedding and another was during your Christmas visit, which was totally out of one of those Hallmark films. Regardless, you always thought it would remain a dream. That you would never hear such sweet words come from Coco.

Coco watched as you looked at him, speechless. Dread seeped in. Maybe it was too quick, this was your first meeting in so long. Maybe you didn’t feel the same way, he couldn’t blame you. What would you want with someone like him? Even his own flesh and blood didn’t want him. He was waiting for the let down, the ‘I’m sorry Johnny, I just see you as a friend’. He felt like he was taken back to high school, to where girls made him fucking nervous. But it was the worst with you because your opinion mattered most.

Just as you opened your mouth to reply, you heard your mother shriek out your name. You turned around and caught her, wrapping your arms around her. She pulled away, pinching your cheeks before pulling you into her embrace again. Coco loved your mom but for once, he was not happy to see her.

“My baby is home.” She cupped your cheeks. She turned to Coco and she clicked her tongue. 

“Johnny, cut your hair, you look so unkempt.” She sighed. “Trying to make me bring out my scissors.”

Coco laughed and shook his head. “I told you mama, I like the wind blowing through my hair.”

“Stubborn as always.” She shook her head but had that smile she always had for Coco. “Come, I prepared snacks. And don’t you even try to get out of it, I had Bishop give you the day off so we can spend family time.”

It dawned on you that your parents were trying to set up a reunion between you and Coco. While your father was sick, he was fully recovering. Your parents were such meddlers.

“I know what you’re doing.” You informed your mother.

“What am I doing baby?” She looked at you with such innocence in her eyes, it almost made you feel bad about accusing her, but you also knew your mother.

“Don’t faux innocence with me, I see you.” You playfully narrowed your eyes at your mother.

Selena laughed. “I think you need more sleep.”

The day went off without a hitch and you met Coco’s daughter, Leticia. You were grateful that Leticia hardly had any of Alejandra’s features. She was definitely Johnny’s child. Dinner was served and the laughter and conversations you all had was nostalgic. You felt like a child again, enjoying dinner with your parents and Johnny. Having Leticia as an addition was even better.

“Are you sure you’re okay with watching her tomorrow?” Coco questioned as you two made your way towards the front door.

“Not at all, as much as I want to get my nails done, I do not want to do it alone. This town pounces on you.” You’ve been gone for quite some time, you knew the people of this town never forget and they would be on you regarding the various rumors they heard through the years. “See you tomorrow Letty!”

She waved goodbye, crossing the street to go to their home. Coco watched her till she was inside. He turned to you and smiled. His confession from earlier was still replaying in his brain but you two have had no moment alone. With your parents in bed, it was just you and Coco.

“This was nice.” You commented.

Coco nodded his head. 

“Yeah it was.” He didn’t want to keep you up, it seemed like you had a busy day tomorrow. 

“Good night preciosa,” it was Coco’s nickname for you and to this day, the butterflies in your stomach still went wild.

“Good night Coco.”

He smiled and turned to make his way to his own home. He wanted to kiss you, to finally feel your lips against his, but he didn’t even know how you felt about him.

“Wait,” you called out, going down the few steps on your porch. “About earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it, I get it, you don’t feel the same way.” The smile on his face hurt you, it was the one he gave people to show he was okay, but he was hurting inside.

“I love you.” You didn’t beat around the bush. “It was the reason I worked so hard to leave because I couldn’t be in a place where I would have to see you be a family to someone who made it a mission to drive us apart. I couldn’t bear seeing you two together because Alejandra was right, I wish I was her, I envied her.” It felt good to let it out. “I love you Coco, I loved you then and I love you now.”

Coco froze and you watched his body transform as he took in your words. At first it didn’t seem to register with him, what you said, but then his eyes widened and a smile broke across his face making him look 10 years younger.

He let out a laugh and shook his head as he half jogged over to you. His hands came to rest on either side of your face and his thumb caressed your cheeks.

“Shit, we wasted so much time when we could have just been together.” Coco whispered

You shook your head and brought your hands up to rest on his forearms.

“We didn’t waste time Johnny, we were just getting ourselves together.”

Coco huffed but didn't disagree.

“Say it again…” He said in a way that sounded like both a command and a beg.

“I love you Johnny Coco Cruz.” You said softly while you absentmindedly traced this vein on his forearms.

Coco stared at you for two more seconds before he dipped his head and connected his lips to yours. His hands slipped down to your waist and he pulled you flush to his body while he pushed his tongue into your mouth. Coco kissed you passionately, aggressively and soft all at the same time. He took control of your mouth and he had no plans on giving it back.

Coco knew that if humans didn't need oxygen to breath, he would spend his entire life kissing your lips.

Butterflies flew in your stomach and goosebumps broke out on your skin as he traced your bottom lip with his tongue. You were trying your best to keep up with his energy but he was like a man starved.

He slowly walked you backwards, your back hit the side of your house and everything faded away. All you could focus on was Coco’s lips and how they felt so perfect against yours. His hard body was firmly pressing yours into the wall while his fingers squeezed tightly into your hip bones.

You bit down on his bottom lip and he let out a small groan. You shifted your body a tad to the left and felt a shift in the energy.

What was a simple sweet, much over do, was now quickly turning into a hot, desperate attempt to get each other in bed.

You gasped as you broke free of Coco’s lips. He tried to chase after you but you pushed him backwards by his chest.

“We need to get a room…” you laughed

Coco was quick to respond. Grabbing your hand and pulling you towards his house.

“Wait, letty….” you started

Coco ignored your question and gripped your hand tighter. He walked faster and you struggled to keep up.

The next thing you knew you were standing in Coco’s living room.

“LETICIA- I need you to leave. Go hang out with Gabi.” Coco yelled

You heard Letty open her door and listened as her footsteps made their way to the living room.

“Oh great, your having sex…. just use protection. You don't want another me.” Letty said before she smiled at you and brushed past her father.

She shut the door and left you and Coco in silence. A nervous energy washed over you as Coco leveled you with a look that sent your libido into hyperdrive.

“You sure about this?” He asked

You rolled your eyes, still surprised that he was questioning your intentions. You wound your arms around his neck and pulled him closer before you smiled.

“I’m 100% sure Coco.” You whispered before you brought his lips back down to yours.

Coco lost himself in you.

Years of longing, wanting, loving, it was all coming down. He was able to push all of this for years, fucking bitches didn’t require anything, just his dick to be hard. But with you, it was different, of course it was. He didn’t want to just devour you, he wanted all of you. The cries of pleasure, the feeling of your body in one with his, he wanted it all. He always imagined how it would be to kiss you, to be with you.

This was knocking every expectation out of the park. 

He’s never made love to a woman before and he knew if he ever did, it would be with you. For years, he wanted to contact you, to swallow his nerves, his fear, his pride, but now, the wait was well worth it. You were right, you were working on yourselves and now, he would never let you go.

He pulled you closer to him, one hand cupping your face, while the other rested against your hip. You couldn’t believe this was happening, whatever you imagined before, this blew it out of the water. You never felt this when you kissed your ex-fiance. This was something else, something more.

Coco lifted you up, carrying you to his bed, gently, he placed you down and reluctantly parted with you. He looked at you as your chest rose up and down, letting the oxygen trickle in once more. Removing his clothes, he left his boxers on, making his way over to you, causing you to move back on his bed. He wrapped his fingers around your ankles, pulling you towards him. 

“These leggings are going to fucking kill me.” His hands moved up and down your legs, shivers going down your spine. You were wet, you’ve been wet, but the way Coco’s voice dipped a lower octave, the way his hand was just hovering over your clothed core, you wanted to scream. But you didn’t want to rush through it. You’ve only had a handful of partners and you knew Coco was the far more experienced one. 

He pressed two fingers against your clothed center and you let out a low moan, which in turn made him moan.

“Fuck, I’m never going to get tired of that.” Coco’s fingers went to the waistband of your leggings, pulling them down. He threw the article of clothing behind him while you took off your shirt. His eyes roamed around you, taking in every part of you. It made you flustered, flushed, and scrambled to cover yourself. He smacked your hands and made a ‘tsk’ sound. 

“Don’t let me admire my girl.”

You smiled. You were nervous, this was Coco. This wasn’t anyone else, this was Coco.

“Hey, don’t overthink it, just let me make you feel good ma.”

He crawled over to you, hovering above you, he kissed you once again, his hands were all over you. Wherever he touched, your skin burned in the most delicious way.  He slipped his fingers under the band of your underwear, teasing your aching pearl before slipping a finger inside you. Moaning into his mouth, you arched against him, one hand caressing his cheek, while the other slid down his stomach and inside his boxers. He groaned against your lips as you wrapped your hand around his cock. 

“Fuck princesa,” you took your hand out of his boxers, spitting on it before putting it back inside, sliding your hand up and down his cock just as he added another finger inside of you. 

“Fuck Coco, that feels so good.” Your ex hardly provided foreplay. He lubed it up, condom on, and you two fucked. No emotions or regard for you, it was just sex. But this, this felt so much better. 

“Yeah, that pendejo didn’t know how to pleasure you?”

You shook your head, you let out a breathy gasp as his thumb made contact with your clit. You clenched around him and it didn’t take long for him to get an orgasm out of you. You whimpered, moving your hips down to meet the thrust of his hands. Before long, you were both naked, Coco slipping on rubber. 

He tapped his cock against your folds, the tip hitting your clit. You looked at how well endowed he was, which almost made you laugh. You always thought Coco was gifted, but to confirm that suspicion? It was fantastic. 

“You ready preciosa?” 

You nodded, never more ready for anything. He bent down and kissed the tip of your nose and then he slowly pushed the head of his dick into your wet, awaiting folds.

You let out a low, broken sounded moan. Seeing Coco’s dick had been one thing, but feeling it as it stretched you out almost to the point of pain was a completely different experience.

Coco’s left hand grabbed onto the sheets by your head and he clinched them while his other one stayed firmly on your hop- helping to ease him in without hurting you.

He was so close to bottoming out, but before he could fully set himself in you, bubbles of laughter started coming out of your mouth.

Coco moved his head so that he could look at you, his body hovered over yours and he froze, mid stride, with his dick more than 80% of the way in you.

"What?” He asked

You laughed again and pushed Coco’s stray hair behind his ear.

“My mom was right, you do need a haircut.”

Coco tsked and shook his baby hairs out of his eyes.

“Don’t be jealous because my hair is more luscious than yours.” Coco joked back

You laughed some more and Coco took this opportunity to push himself the rest of the way in you. Your laughing faded off and turned into moans and despite trying his best to make this all night, he couldn’t stop the quick pace he had set from happening.

His senses were overwhelmed by you, he wanted to fuck you deep and slow, but he also wanted to fuck you hard and quick. He wanted to kiss your lips, but he also wanted to kiss your neck and map out your entire body with his mouth. He wanted to intertwine his fingers in your hair and pull just enough for it to sting but not too hard to where it pulled out your roots, but he also needed to touch every part of you.

There wasn’t enough time.

He wanted all of you- he needed all of you but the way your warm heat wrapped around his dick and pulled him in was intoxicating him more so than any drug he had ever used.

“Fuck! You feel so good. I’m never letting you go again.” Coco said into your ear.

His breath ghosted across your skin but you were too blissed out to respond. One of your hands found their way into Coco’s thick hair and the other gripped tightly onto his forearm.

Your body bounced softly as Coco rammed into you. He kept pounding your G-spot over and over again to the point where you were now seeing stars. Your moans were now just whispers, and all you could say was Johnny over and over as if you were praying to him.

He lowered his head down and caught your lips with his. He kissed you once before you broke apart and simply breathed each other's air. Your lungs were burning and your breaths were coming out ragged.

Your orgasm was quickly approaching, and despite never having sex with you before, Coco knew you were right there on the edge.

He gripped your body tighter and forced himself to slow down his thrusts.

As he did, you let out a needy whine which caused Coco’s heart to melt. Seeing how much you needed him was all he ever wanted from you. Selfishly, he wanted you to need him so that he could always be apart of your life

“Don’t worry preciosa. I got you.” Coco whispered.

His next movements were smooth and calculated. He pulled himself all the way out and before you could complain, he grabbed your legs and roughly flipped you over onto your stomach. His hands found your hips and he yanked them upwards so that your ass was sticking out and your head was down.

You glanced over your shoulder and locked eyes with Coco as he pushed back into your pussy. He let out a groan and your head fell back onto the bed. You gripped the seats as the muscles in your stomach clenched.

You were so close, so fucking close you just needed–

Coco knew what you needed. Fuck he always knew. He moved his body so that it draped over you more, and his long arm reached under you and his fingers found your clit. He began to rub on it and press down on it while he fucked into you with a precision that was blinding you.

Your body was overheating and shaking, your mouth was spilling Coco’s name along with a stream of cuss words and you knew that if you didnt come soon, you would die from overstimulation.

Coco let out another moan and he wrapped his free arm around your waist and yanked you up, making your back flush with his chest. The new angle caused you to let out a louder scream. Coco pressed on your clit harder and started licking at your neck.

It only took two more thrusts before your body broke. Your legs shook so badly that they threatened to give out on you, your moans suddenly cut off and your breath left your lungs. Stars exploded behind your closed eyes and you realized that this is what they talked about when people said orgasms were like little pleasure bombs.

Your body was lit up with ecstasy and you rode it for as long as you could before your limbs went numb and refused to hold you up and longer.

Coco eased you down onto the mattress, still on your stomach. He pushed your legs together and straddled you as he gently pushed on your lower back and fucked in and out of you.

“Shit Y/N. This pussy is addictive.” Coco groaned out

You pushed your ass back as best as you could- attempting to meet Coco’s rough thrusts head on. Based on the way he was moaning and cursing you must have been doing a good job, so you kept doing it until you felt his thrusts becoming shaky and uneven. The fingers on your back dug into your skin causing you to hiss in pleasure.

You turned your head to the left and let out some breathy moans.

“Johnny…I… I need you to come for me. Come for me please.” You begged

“Fuuuuck, you’re sinful as shit and I love it.” Coco groaned out.

He thrusted into you a couple more times before he stilled.

You couldn’t feel his seed due to his condom, but you could feel his dick pulsing in you and your needy walls contracted around him, begging him to rip that stupid condom off and fill you properly.

After a couple of minutes, Coco gently pulled out of you. You slowly rolled over and groaned as your back popped slightly.

You tracked Coco as he made quick work of peeling his condom off and taking it to the trash can in the corner of his room.

You sat up on your elbows and admired him from afar. You cataloged every tattoo and vowed to ask him the story behind each one.

“Imma add today’s date to them…” Coco said as he caught you staring.

“To what?” You asked in confusion as he made his way back over to you.

The bed dipped as he climbed on it and crawled in between your still shaking legs.

“My tattoos. I’m getting today’s date tattooed on me.”

“But…why?” You laughed out

Coco smirked and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.

“It's the day you and I changed forever. The day I got to be with my true love. Why wouldn’t i want that on my body as a reminder.”

#mayans #mayans mc #mayans fandom #mayans fic #mayans fanfic #coco cruz #johnny cruz #johnny coco cruz #coco cruz x reader #coco cruz fanfiction #coco cruz imagine #whatupitsastarrynite

[pascalpanic]

Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Javier Peña x f!Reader)- Chapter One

Summary: You live in Bogotá in the ‘90s, and work odd hours. No, you’re not a DEA agent, but a nurse. These odd hours prompt odd habits, like working out at 2:03 A.M. after a shift. Odd hours attract odd people, and you have a chance encounter with one DEA agent by the name of Javier Peña. Warnings: language, blood and violence (both graphic), descriptions of death and gun violence Chapter 1 W/C: 2.3K A/N: you guys! I am so in love with this fic. I already have quite a bit more written and can’t wait for you to read it! I hope you love it as much as I do! Javi deserves some softness... but not too much. this can’t all be fluff when you’re Javier Peña. Okay, this is not super canon-fitting of Narcos, I’m just gonna be honest with y’all. This is between the time of Escobar’s escape from La Catedral and his final capture and death, but also… Connie’s still in Colombia. Additionally, I don’t really have a year in mind, it’s just somewhere in that period. Please note that this is not a very lighthearted story- it begins with a death, though not of a significant character. Javier and reader both have some trauma, so please check the warnings of each chapter before you start reading. If you’re continuing on, I hope you like it! For the most part, if I use italics here when someone is speaking, it’s indicating that it’s in Spanish. I’m okay at the language, but I don’t want to butcher anything, so… just imagine it. Otherwise, it’s just the way anyone would use italics I guess.

next chapter

Chapter One

You watched a woman you didn’t know die in your arms tonight.

 She was beautiful, all dressed up to go out and party, her makeup running down her face with tears. Her lips were the painted the color of the blood that trickled from the side of them, eyes glazing over as she coughed and coughed and ruined the beautiful dress she wore. The nurses had asked what happened, and she had told them, through gurgles of blood: she had slept with one of Escobar’s men. She got too close, learned too much, and they tracked her down. 

She flatlined not long after telling the nurses around you. You had stood in the corner, paralyzed at first. You were an experienced ER nurse, nothing was new. You had seen patients die, but something about her was different. Maybe it was the way she reached out to you right before her body went limp. You didn’t make it to her bedside in time to calm her, the panic holding you down, but you finally took her hand right as she took her last breath. 

After she passed, you threw up in the bathroom, shaking and clutching the toilet. The night air had grown unbearably hot and humid, causing your scrubs to cling to your skin, and the sweat from the heaving of your stomach didn’t make things easier on you. Lorena, a fellow nurse and your best friend at work, had found you and comforted you, rubbing your back and bringing you water. It didn’t matter. It couldn’t reverse what had happened. 

Now, you sit on a bench in the staff’s locker room, redoing the ponytail holding your hair from your damp face. Your shift ended a few minutes ago, but you don’t know what to do now. You don’t feel like drinking; that would only make the visions swimming in your head worse. You know you can’t go home, can’t attempt to find sleep tonight. You look up and spot a bag with tennis shoes and spare clothing and settle your mind on at least one thing: the gym could do you some good. You change into the clothes and put the blood-spattered scrubs in the laundry pile. 

As you leave, you give Lorena a little wave goodbye and exit the building. You’re hyper-aware of your surroundings tonight, and you groan as you look at your watch and notice that it’s precisely 2:09 A.M. here in Bogotá. The walk to your fitness club is short, but your step is slightly extra hurried and your hand is on your pepper spray the entire time, extra vigilant to the fact that a hit went down somewhere around here just a few hours earlier. Surprisingly enough, no one catcalls or bugs you tonight. 

The little gym is run-down and dilapidated, and there’s no working air conditioning, but it’s the only one near you. You paid the small monthly membership fee to gain access, and you were going to use it to get in shape, you’d decided. As you swipe in and enter, the tiny fitness center looks more depressing in the fluorescent lights, no daylight to sugarcoat the atrocities of the center. There are two of every machine, a punching bag and a speed bag, two weightlifting racks, and a couple of benches. 

It’s nice that you get to work out alone tonight, you tell yourself. Even better is the fact that you now get to control the music. Desperate for a taste of home, you flip the large boombox in the corner on and begin scanning the airwaves with the dial. There’s a station in town that plays American music, and you need it more than anything tonight. You listen carefully and nearly start sobbing again as you hear Billy Joel’s voice through the speakers. With a sigh of relief, you lock your bag in the rusty lockers in the corner and head to the treadmill. It’s a beat up old thing, but this is the one you always use. It provides a little bit of comfort tonight, the familiarity of it. You turn it on low and start walking. A few moments later, you up it to a jog, mouthing along to the words of the familiar song. 

As the song ends, you push the buttons enough to enter a running speed. Your feet slam into the treadmill harder than normal tonight, feeling as overwhelmed as when you left the hospital. Your body finally works up a sweat, the physical stress overwhelming the mental stress. 

As the events of tonight replay in your head to some other song from the late 80’s, your eyes start to water. Everything was so overwhelming, and your mind is just starting to process it. You finally allow the tears to fall, mixing with the sweat coating your cheeks. It’s hard to tell which is causing more of the mess, but you let yourself cry it out as you run for the next few minutes. 

The next song that comes on is Venus by Bananarama. You almost chuckle at the fact that it’s a few years old by now, but the song is comforting. It reminds you of home, of a time before you had issues like these. You slow down the treadmill a little, singing to the words aloud once you catch your breath enough. Daring to do a little spin on the rolling surface, you groove along to the music, chuckling a little

After the first chorus, you hear a creaking noise and whip around to find a man standing in the doorway. “Jesus fucking Christ!” You shout before you can stop yourself, hopping off the treadmill and onto the non-moving one before you get flung off. Your heart is pounding from the running, only intensifying the adrenaline rush from the scare. 

The man chuckles a little, but the smile on his face doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s tired- of course he is, it’s now 2:30 in the morning. “Lo siento,” you offer in Spanish, cringing at yourself and your reaction just now. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here this late,” you stutter, still panting from the running. He shakes his head lightly. “You’re American,” he says simply. In English, in a beautifully American accented voice.

Your sweaty brow furrows, a glimmer of hope sparking inside your chest as you notice that he speaks like an American himself. “So are you.”

He nods at that. “That I am,” he says as he puts his things in a locker, snapping it shut behind him. He looks at you for a moment. You’re not working at the Embassy, or he’d know you. It was rare to find an American down here that wasn’t working for the government somehow. He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair, looking at how tired he appears in the big mirrored wall. He’s curious, but he’s exhausted. 

You look at him for a moment. “You going to explain anything, like, tell me about yourself? Or do I have to go first?” You ask, hands on your waist as you hop back on the slowly moving treadmill, back into moving. He doesn’t respond. “Fine. I know you’re government. I’m not an idiot.”

He chuckles and tugs on his t-shirt, moving to the treadmill next to you and getting on. It’s been ages since you’ve held a conversation in English, and you missed this, missed how easily your first language flows from your mouth. “And you’re not.”

“Correct,” you nod, turning up the speed a little on the machine until you’re at a light jog. “My bigger concern was going to be why you’re here at 2-fucking-30, but I’m guessing I know the answer. You get called in around here for the hit?” He nods, starting the treadmill up and walking on it. 

“You don’t have to be so guarded, Jesus. I fucking hate Escobar, I’m on your side,” you scoff before turning up the machine until you’re running once more.

Javier shrugs. “Makes sense. How did you know-”

“She died,” you say quickly and firmly, keeping your eyes straight ahead and looking at the room around you. “Add that to your file.”

He nods, understanding a little more now. You knew her somehow. He doesn’t say a word either, cranking up the machine and heading into a jog too.

A few more minutes pass of the two of you silently running next to each other, the American music still playing throughout the gym. It’s a comfort to Javier too. Tonight was shit for the DEA- they had known Escobar’s men would be around here. They had the intel, they had everything ready, but the men somehow had escaped and left a victim in their wake. 

The frustration of everything, of the man being something close to home for you yet being a brick wall, threatens your eyes with welling tears again. “I just wanted to talk with an American,” you sigh and cross your arms, moving back into the walking stage of a treadmill. 

The man next to you gives a similar sigh, stopping his treadmill completely and offering you a hand. “Javier Peña.” You take it reluctantly, feeling the sweat of both of your hands mix, and tell him your name before retracting it and stopping the treadmill too. “So, what brings you to the gym at 2:30?” He asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the center part of the treadmill. 

“I’m a nurse. I work the graveyard shift. Bad night, a patient died because she got fucking shot for having a boyfriend and not knowing he was a narco, I need to get something out, I come here,” you shrug, unconsciously mimicking him by folding your arms as well. 

He nods at that. “I’m here for the same. Shitty stakeout, I’m pissed off, I come here.” He leaves out the part about his favorite call girl being taken, and how he needed another way to get the rage inside of him out. He walks off of the treadmill and to the weight rack, pulling a bench beneath the bar.

You turn again and turn the machine back on, slowly jogging. “I see. Odd hours to be here, that’s why I asked,” you say simply. “And to see another American at such a time. I haven’t interacted with one since I came here.”

Javier nods, adjusting the weights on the bar. “Yeah. Weird,” he nods. “And that you’re an American who isn’t working for the government and you’re down here. What, you got a husband who works for us?”

You shake your head, swallowing hard for a moment. “No, don’t have a husband in the first place,” you admit, adjusting the ponytail holding your hair up. “It’s a long story.”

“We got time,” he shrugs as he gets on the bench beneath the rack, looking at you in the mirrored wall. Even with the sweat and the stress of working out, he notices that you’re gorgeous. You have a nice body, and even your face is pretty while you’re working out.

You shake your head. “Fine, if you really want to hear it.”

“Might as well. It’s that or more of this fucking Wham! music, and I’m sick of George Michael.”

“First of all, first person here gets the music, so mind your manners.” This finally earns a chuckle from the man, and you want to smile but it just can’t come. “I came down here with a man. He’s a citizen here. We were going to get married, but he left me. That was a couple of months ago now,” you admit, the tears beading in the corner of your eye again. “My work visa was still valid, and I renewed it so I can keep working at the hospital. I don’t really have anyone down here except the girls I work with, but I like helping out. They need me.” He nods a little as he listens, breaking his focus as he starts his reps with the bar.

“And you’re government, so that explains everything I need to know about you,” you continue to babble. “One of the girls I work with has a husband who’s at the Embassy. Murphy,” you say offhandedly. 

Javier’s attention is caught, and he sets the bar on the rack. “Murphy?” He asks, and you turn your head to look at him and give him a nod. “No shit. That’s my partner.”

You chuckle slightly and look back at him, stopping the treadmill. “So you know Connie?”

Javi nods. “Yeah, great gal. She could do better than Steve,” he says, sitting up.

You laugh softly at that. “From what I’ve heard of him, I agree. She’s a really great girl, you’re right,” you nod in agreement, looking back at him. “She’s never mentioned you. She says her husband’s in janitorial, but we all know that’s not true. What, you guys CIA? DEA?”

Javier nods again. “DEA.”

“I see,” you say, folding your arms and leaning against the machine. “Can’t make you many friends around here. I learned pretty quickly to keep my mouth shut about being a gringa. They can usually tell though.”

“You’re right,” he chuckles and cracks his back.

You bite your lip as you look at him, your voice watery when you can finally speak again, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion again. “It’s nice to talk to someone in English again,” you admit with a forced smile. 

He can read your eyes easily. You’re a nurse, and you told him that the victim died. You saw it. “It is,” he nods, reading your pain and trying to show you he empathizes with it. Your eyes are beautiful, he notices as he looks into them. So much more hope and trust than anyone else he works with, but the pain in them is unbearable. He looks away, leaning back on the bench to lift again.

“So where you from in the States?” You finally ask when the silence is too long. 

“Laredo, Texas,” he chuckles. “Yourself?”

#javier peña x reader #javi peña x reader #javier peña #javi peña #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pascalpanic #narcos #narcos fanfic #blood sweat and tears

[imagineswriting47]

Running away

A/N: This is for the Anon who asked ‘ Hello! I saw that your requests were open, and I want to know if it’s possible to write a Dean x reader story where the reader has a dark/sad past ( maybe worse than the Winchesters?) that extends outside of America, like an international type of deal? Then maybe dean does something rude or finds something out and treats her badly, just something that causes her to run away? I literally have no plot to this! Thank you in advance! I want to apologize for this taking so long to get out.

Summary: When Dean finds out the truth about Y/N he doesn’t take it to well.

Parring: Dean/Reader

Warnings: None

Tag List: @akshi8278​

If you had told me ten years ago that monsters and demons were real, I would have laughed about it. I would be thinking that you were saying some terrible jokes. Now I know differently. Watching monsters kill my whole family changed everything. How I survived, I will never know. Running away from everything didn't solve anything, either. Flying to America, I hoped that I could leave monsters hunting behind and the British Men of Letters. I couldn't. Once a monster hunter, always a monster hunter. So when I heard about some strange killings the town over from where I had been staying, I had to check it out. Meeting the Winchesters was not what I expected. Nor were they anything like I had been lead to believe. When everything was said and done with the hunt, Sam asked if I would like to come along. I said, 'no.' I gave them my number to call if they needed anything anyway.

After meeting Sam and Dean, I started hunting again. I was meeting other hunters along the way as well. But somehow, the Winchesters and I kept crossing paths. Every time they would ask me to come along with them, I told them 'no.' But the more that I hunted with them, the more I found myself wanting to go with them. For the first time since I lost my family, I felt safe with someone. But how would they handle the truth about me? My past is not pretty. The things that I did for the British Men of Letters are things that I can't forgive myself for. They will hate me if they know the truth about me. But Sam, with those puppy dog eyes, how could I say no. Even when I got a room in the Bunker, I still kept my distance. I was doing my best to keep my past from them. They could never know how much I care about both of them. I fear that they could use it against me, or someone could use the brothers against me.  

The past, no matter how hard you run from it, will always find you. 

A simple hunt that turned out to be demons changed everything. Demons lie; everyone knows this. But these demons were not lying about me. And when the beast was dead, Dean asked if the creature was telling the truth. Did I sell my soul? My silence was answer enough for him. Then the yelling started. I was everything that he said. I was no better than the monsters that we hunted. While my soul was still mine, it was dirty and tainted by the darkness that is Hell. It doesn't matter to him that my soul is still mine and that I still have my soul. That I managed to get the demon who I sold my soul to break their end of the deal was a miracle. By breaking their end of the agreement, they were making the deal void. Dean didn't care about that, and the whole way back to the Bunker, Dean was silent after Sam got Dean to stop yelling and get in the car. A yelling Dean I knew how to deal with but a quiet Dean that was a bad thing. When the car came to a stop, I all but jumped from the car and went to my room.  Closing the door behind me, I sat on my bed.  Only a moment later, the door was thrown open by Dean.

"Were you going to tell us?" Dean spoke the quiet furry easy to hear in his voice. I didn't know what more he wanted me to say. What could I say? "You lied to me—your just another monster. I trusted you to have Sam, and I's back. I trusted you, and I should never have done that..." I don't hear anything after that; his words keep getting harsher and harsher. Seeing the chance when Dean stepped further into my room, I ran. Once past him, I let the tears fall down my face. When I felt like I ran into a wall only to have two arms wrap around me.

"Y/N?"

"I'm sorry, Sam. I'm just so sorry." I whisper as I pull away from him. Running to the garage, I jump into my old car. Once out and onto the road, I drive. There was no destination in my mind; I just kept driving; my tears had long since dried, not having the energy go further. I pull into a little service road with the car off. The silence is defining. I did not realize how used to the boys always talking I had gotten.

Climbing into the back of my car, I lay down. Pillowing my jacket under my head, I let the blackness of sleep pull me under. Though my sleep was restless, I could not get more than a couple of minutes of rest. The sun shining in the car's window decided for me that it was time to start moving again. Sitting up, I rub my face trying to wake myself up the best that I can. Climbing back into my car's front seat, I turn the car over and get back out onto the road. I keep heading west following the sun, still with no destination in mind. I only stop when I get hungry or need to use the bathroom. Putting as much distance that I can between the Winchesters and myself. 

Just before nightfall, I find a small little town that has a cheap motel in it. Thanking my stars tonight, I pull into the motel parking lot. I was pulling out the little bag of clothing that I keep in the trunk of my car as a 'just in case kind of thing. The motel was reasonable but also dirty as most cheap motels come. Also, it doesn't look like any redecorating has been done since the eighties. After all the salt lines are laid out, I make my way to the shower. The water is thankfully hot, and I let it relax the muscles of my back. I was washing my body before stepping out of the shower. Towel drying my hair, I quickly re-dress and head out of my motel room. I am running into a small town looking for someplace to get something to eat. The town's dinner was little and '50s themed like much of all the diners I had obtained food over the years. Ordering my meal to go, I quickly make my way back to my hotel room. I eat fast, not even tasting what I was eating, knowing that I need to see what I had left in my car. At this point, I considered what had been left at the Bunker lost, and I needed to know what I needed to replace. The bags I felt had some weapons left in them but not enough to keep hunting for long. But I had left my phone behind in my room. 

Over the next couple of days, I manage to get some money for doing some hustling at the bars. With that money, I got myself some new clothing and a burner phone. By the end of the week, I move to another town. I kept moving like that week after week, hustling money as I went. Three months after leaving the Bunker, sitting in a small bar, I hear the door open. Sitting where I was, I could see the door and those that walked in, but they could not see me. Standing in the doorway are the Winchesters. I wait for them to get to the bar with their backs to me before standing up and making my way out of the bar.

Once back at my motel room, I pack up my things, cleaning up, making it as if I was never there. By the time I am finished, I can hear the Impala's unmistakable sound pulling into the lot. I wait to hear a door close than wait longer to be sure before stepping out of my room. I am quickly making my way over to the car. I set my things in the passenger seat before walking over to the office. Once checked out and everything paid, I make my way back to my car. At the same time, my attention was elsewhere. I failed to notice Sam stepping out of his room. Sam doesn't see who I am until I am standing next to my car with my head down. "Y/N?" I hear Sam say to me as he moves to be standing on the other side of my car.

"Hey, Sammy," I say as I look up to him. Only the Sam that I see is not the same Sam that I left at the Bunker. This Sam looks so tired like he hasn't slept in weeks; the dark rings under his eyes are so dark. He even looks like he has lost weight. His clothing seems to hang on him. "I can't believe it, Y/N. Dean and I have been looking for you." When he mentions Dean, I can't help but cringe back, Remembering Dean saying that he should kill me. "Y/N?" When I hear my name, I look up to Sam. I can see the concern in his eyes. 

 "I can't, Sammy. I'm sorry, I-I have to go." I whisper to him as I pull my car door open. Making a decision quickly, I pull out a piece of paper and write my new number on it for him. 'Don't tell Dean.' I finish off the note before handing it to him. Once in my car, I don't wait to see if Sam reads the message before pulling out of the parking lot. I'm not on the road long before I hear my phone start to ring. Wanting to put more space between us, I don't answer.

I drive for the rest of the day and all through the night. I don't stop until I cross over into Ohio. I stop at the first motel that I come across. Once in my room, I plug in my phone before falling into bed. I am woken up hours later to my phone going off.

Grabbing it off the table, I find that Sam is calling me. "Are you alone?" Are the first words out of my mouth before Sam could even say anything. "Yes." Sam and I talk for hours after that. Mostly it was just me telling Sam that I was okay. That no, I hadn't been hunting. Then he asked what happened the night that I left the Bunker as Dean wouldn't talk about it. So I start from the beginning by telling him everything. The secrets that I had kept from him, why I sold my soul, how I got out of it. What Dean said to me and how it scared me. 

Sam fills me in on everything that had happened since I left. I can't believe what Sam tells me how worried Dean got when he realized that I hadn't returned to the Bunker the next day. After a week, Dean was freaking out, calling everyone that we all knew to see if they had seen me or heard from me. At first, I thought it was because he was trying to follow through with what he had said in my room. Sam said that all he kept saying was that he needs to apologize. 

Sam and I keep talking for weeks after that first phone call. He keeps his promise and doesn't tell Dean about our conversations. But with each chat I have with Sam, I make my way closer to the Bunker. Sam doesn't know this, but I plan on seeing him again in the next couple of weeks. Sending a text to Sam when I get into town, I tell him where I am staying. He doesn't get back to me right away, but when he does, it doesn't take him long to show up at my hotel room. Once my door is open, I am pulled open into a bone-crushing hug. "It's good to see you too, Sam."

"Same to you, Y/N." When Sam pulls away from me, I can get a good look at Sam. He looks so much better than the last time than I saw him. The dark circles are gone, and he seems like he has been eating better. "You look better, Sammy. How's Dean?" What Sam has been telling me about Dean is making me worry.

"It's not good, Y/N. I don't know the last time he slept. I can't get him to stop looking; it's killing me not to tell him that you are okay." Sam sits on the bed in the room with his head in his hands.

"Do you-Do you think that it would help if I went to the bunker?" I whisper to him as I take a seat next to him. This was my plan when I came here, but to hear Sam talking is making me nervous to see him again. It's been six months since I have been back. "Would you?" I can see the hope in his eyes as he lifts his head and looks at me. Shrugging my shoulders, I stand up and hold my hand out to him, pulling him to his feet. "Let's go." I want to get out of the door before I change my mind. It doesn't take long before we are pulling up to the Bunker and making our way inside. Sam stays back, letting me walk in first. The Bunker is quiet, not much noise to be heard, nothing like it was before when I was living here.

"Sam, where did you go?" I hear a yell for the library turning, I look at Sam, and he smiles at me in pushing me to the library. Dean has his back to me when I first see him again. "It's not Sam," I say to him. I can see him freeze before turning slowly to look at me. "Hi, Dean," I say when I can see his face. His face is pale; he looks so tired and underfed. I don't get the chance to get a good look at him before I have an arm full of Dean. For Dean being so much taller than me, he seems so small in my arms. But what makes me the most surprised is when I can feel tears on my neck. I start to walk backward and out of the room, slowly making our way to his room. Dean doesn't seem to realize that we are even moving. He is shaking in my arms but not making any noise either. Once in his room and laying down on his bed, all he keeps mumbling is 'sorry.' I keep whispering soothing words in his ears, hoping to get him to calm down. Slowly he stops shaking, the tears stop falling, and his breathing gets deeper, letting me know that he has fallen asleep. Not long after he is sleeping, so am I. 

I don't know how long we are asleep, but I am woken up to the feeling of a hand on my cheek. Opening my eyes, I find Dean's green ones looking back at me. Looking Dean in the face, he looks better already; the dark marks under his eyes less pronounced his cheeks have color back in them. "You okay?" I ask him as I place my hand over his that is on my face.

"I should be asking you that Y/N," Dean whispers to me, his eyes closing as he says this. "I'm fine, Dean, I promise." I smile at him even though I know that he can't see it. Not knowing what to do, I move his hand off my face; turning my back to him, I sit up. "But I couldn't stay, Dean, not after everything. I-I'm not staying for long. I just thought that I would come and see you and Sammy." I can feel the bed moving behind me as Dean stands from the bed. He moves around the bed and stands in front of me.  Dean is turning on the bedside light before kneeling in front of me. 

"Y/N, I can never tell you how sorry that I am for what I said. I will never admit this outside of this room, but I was afraid. I sold my soul. I know what could have happened to you, and I don't want that for you. You are so beautiful and kind and everything that is good." Dean looks like he wanted to say more, but he doesn't. He takes a deep breath before standing up and turning his back to me. His shoulders fall.

"Dean, I'm sorry. But I couldn't tell you; I didn't know-how. I want to stay here. But I don't think that I can, not after everything. I know that I am better off on my own..." I don't get to finish my sentence before he turns back to face me, grabs my face in both of his hands, and kisses me. It could be barely be called a kiss more of a dry press of his lips against mine. "Please..." I can feel him whisper against my lips. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, I lean up and kiss him. The kiss is rough, all teeth and tongue saying everything that both of us just couldn't put into words. I feel his hands on my ass before he is lifting me up. I warp my legs around his waist as he turns and presses me against the wall.

We kiss for what feels like hours about cant be more than a couple of minutes. "Don't leave me." I hear Dean whisper as he pulls away from this kiss. His head once again resting on my shoulder. I grip tighter to the short hair at the back of his neck before whispering, "There is nowhere that I would rather be."

With my feet back on the floor and the both of us cling to each other, I know that we have a lot that we need to talk about, and my past is one of them, but maybe this really is where I am meant to be.

A/N: Thank you for reading. Please leave a heart and a re-blog. My requests are still open but it might take some time for me to get them out.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural imagine #supernatural x reader #dean winchester #sam and dean #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #dean x you #Sam Winchester #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester x reader

[brelione]

And It Felt Great To Be A Liar (700 Celebration)

Ok so I based this off of this prompt:Hi there! I hope you’re doing well. I just have a request for JJ maybank. Would you be able to write one where y/n is apart of the kooks and is dating Rafe and Jj and her hate eachother. One day everyone is at a party and JJ and y/n are fighting with eachother as usual in a bedroom and he pins her against the wall and all of a sudden they start kissing eachother and they end up having really rough sex against the wall or a desk in the room with lots of dirty talk, choking and JJ making y/n admit he fucks her better than her boyfriend and gets her to beg for him If you have any time to write it I would be very appreciative, thank you so much x 

and it really fit with the poll results for the celebration so enjoy this master piece <3

Warnings:Choking, Spanking, Bondage, Sub and Dom behavior, cheating, no condom, degrading, swearing.

Rafe’s arms were around your waist, his hot breath fanning against your neck as he nipped at the skin. “We should stay here tonight.”He suggested, his hands moving to the hem of your shirt, his hands slipping under the thin material and onto your skin.

 “We cant, we already told Kelce and Top that we’d show.”You reminded him, peeling his hands away from you. He pouted, grabbing his keys. “Fine, we’ll play later.”He winked, opening his door and going down the stairs, shouting a goodbye to Wheezie and flipping off his dad.

 You cringed at his words, not looking forward to coming back after the party. You were getting bored of Rafe, there was really only so much of his drama that you could take. You were hoping he’d get bored of you soon too or maybe even move on to someone else and forget about you.

 But you stayed anyways, hoping he’d become less boring or maybe you’d stay around long enough to truly mean something to him. You followed him, sitting in the passengers seat of his truck. It reeked of alcohol and weed, his hand gipping your thigh. You rolled your eyes, looking out the window as he drove. 

“What are you thinking about, pretty girl?”He asked. You hummed, not replying. You grabbed his hand, resting your elbow on the arm rest. There wasnt much to look forward to these days. Nothing new, nothing fun, nothing interesting. The kook life got so boring so quick. 

Your only options on most days were to go golfing, shopping or a party if you were lucky. Everything was blurred together, feeling the exact same.He lifted his hand, pulling yours with it before pressing a kiss to your hand. It was a romantic gesture that you werent used to. 

He was like this at the beginning of the relationship, the romance slowly fading away as he became more obsessed with you instead of loving you. He was trying his best to convince you that he still loved you but you knew that you were just holding on to broken pieces at this point, wishing you had something different. 

You could hear the crashing of the waves, lifting your head and widening your eyes for a moment. The party was at Kelce’s beach house that wasnt really a house, it was really just a second mansion. You grinned at Rafe, sliding your phone in your pocket before hopping out of the truck, biting your tongue when he squeezed your ass.

 “Im gonna go look for Sar, okay?”You asked. He nodded, pulling you in for a quick kiss, watching as you jogged up the stairs. You could feel him watching you, slipping into a hallway and hoping for the best. You were sure that Sarah wasnt even at this party, it wasnt really her type of place. 

Sure, she was a party girl but even this was too much. You figured you should just lay low until Rafe was busy catching up with Kelce and Topper that he wouldnt notice if you went ot get yourself a drink. You werent in the mood for him to drag you over to his friend group and start bragging. 

You tested each door knob, searching for a bedroom or a bathroom for you to sit in for a while, grinning once one of them finally turned.      As soon as you were in the room you closed it behind you, locking it because you didnt feel like having your alone time interrupted by some drunk couple. 

As soon as you turned around you regretted it, seeing noone other than JJ Maybank shirtless in the middle of the room. He was staring back at you, stuck in place. You and JJ had problems that dated back to eighth grade. He had gotten into a huge fight with a kook and you were the only witness, watching as the boy hit JJ repeatedly in the ribs.

 JJ had eventually won the fight, blood running from his nose and staining his shirt, a layer of sweat covering his face as he stared at you. Since then he had nothing but anger and hate for you, giving you dirty looks in public and talking shit about you at parties. Of course you always found out about it. 

How he called you a whore, a gold digger and a bitch.  “Get out.”Was all he had to say, tossing his shirt onto the floor in the corner. It made a slight sloshing sound and you could only assume that he had bumped into someone and got something spilled on him. Or maybe he had been a bitch and got something thrown at him. 

“No.”You replied, staring back at him with a glare. He matched your energy, jaw clenching as he looked you up and down. “What are you hiding from, (Y/N)? You maniac of a boyfriend?”He asked, causing your blood to boil. Of course he was right but you’d never admit it. And of course Rafe was an absolute maniac but so was JJ and all of his friends.

 “He’s not a maniac, JJ.”You replied, knowing that it didnt sound right. You had never been great at lying. “Aww, thats cute that you try to stick up for your crazy boyfriend? If hes not a fucking maniac then explain what he did to Pope and I. You think a sane person would do that?”He asked.

 You stared back at him, biting the inside of your cheek as you tried to think of something to say. He shook his head, chuckling. “See, you cant even defend him anymore. God, I hope he fucking dumps your ass!”he exclaimed, letting out a sigh. You gulped, staring at him.

 “Shut up!”You shouted in response, only making him smirk. “Face it, (Y/N)!The boy you call your boyfriend is a shitty, disgusting person. You’re so much worse for being with him!”He shouted back at you. “Excuse me?”You asked, somehow surprised that he would say it to your face. 

“Come on, (Y/N). You’re not that fucking stupid. He’s using you and you know it. But you like being used, dont you?”He asked, causing you to go silent. For once you didnt know what to do or what to say. He was getting closer to you, gripping your wrists and pushing you against the door in a swift movement, your back hitting the wood hard. 

His eyes stayed on you, raising an eyebrow. “Answer the question, princess.”He demanded. You stared back at him, feeling his grip tighten. “Sometimes.”You replied, not wanting to give him the satisfaction he craved. 

“Dont lie to yourself, sweetheart. You’re a little maniac that likes to be used.”He spoke into your ear, leaning down and kissing you roughly.You were struggling to keep up, so much happening so fast. His hands were under your shirt, sloppy kisses being dragged up and down your neck. 

“Do you want me?”He asked you, fingernails digging into your skin. You nodded eagerly, feeling a sense of relief when he pulled you over and onto the bed, glad that you werent trapped against the wood surface. He didnt let you lay down, pushing you onto your knees as you stared up at him. 

He guided one of your hands to his belt, making you press against him before letting go, biting his lip as you palmed him through his pants, carefully undoing his belt with slightly shaky hands. 

He let you take your time, grinning at how nervous he made you, watching you struggle with his zipper. He chuckled, pushing you back and undoing his pants, getting on top of you, parting your legs. “Does Rafe make you this nervous?”He asked, seeming pleased with himself. 

You shook your head, not sure you could answer properly. He grinned, kissing you again. He lifted your shirt over your head quickly, tossing it. “Im flattered that I have such an effect on you.”He muttered, tugging your shorts off, his hand wrapping around your neck not soon after. 

His blue eyes were staring into you, squeezing harder for a moment. He was testing how much you could take, his thumb pressing into a spot right below your jaw. His hand dragged from your neck to the end of your hair, tugging harshly and causing you to let out a low shout. 

He chuckled, letting go and unclasping your bra. “There’s so many things I could do to you…. We’ve got four hours until Rafe remembers you…..”He muttered, tugging down your underwear and keeping your thighs open with his hands, settling between them. 

“Can you last four hours?”He asked. You nodded, moaning when his tongue slid through your folds. He chuckled, his fingernails leaving little crescent moons into your skin as he lapped at your entrance. You already already shaking from his tongue alone, your hands going to his hair and whimpering when he pulled away. 

“No, no, princess. You dont get to touch me.”He told you, grabbing his belt off the floor. “Give me your wrists.”He told you, grinning when you put them out for him. He had so much power over you, holding your wrists to the headboard and securing them with the belt. He settled back between your thighs, his tongue darting in and out of you, pressing his thumb against your clit. 

He could feel you were about to get close, pulling away before you could reach your high. You whined, moving against the belt. “What? You dont like that, princess?”He asked, moving up again so that his nose was against yours. “JJ, please.”You whispered, thinking that maybe he would change even just for a moment when he kissed you. 

“Not. A. Chance.”He replied. “This isnt fair!”You exclaimed, moaning again when he licked your nipple. “Not fair?”He asked, beginning to suck. He moved his hand up to pinch your other nipple, rolling his thumb over it. “I think its pretty fair, (Y/N).”He replied, turning you over so that your stomach was against the mattress and you had to turn your head to breathe properly. His palm collided with your ass, sending a shock through your body. 

“You okay?”He asked, moving your hair aside and pressinga  kiss to you cheek. He was only calm for a moment before he smacked you again, making you take a shaky breath. “Anthony hit me twelve times….you get fifteen. Count.”He told you, rubbing your ass before lifting up his hand again, the hit making a loud noise.

 “One.”You whispered, squeezing your eyes shut as he hit you again. You’d never let Rafe do this to you. You didnt like most things Rafe did especially in the bedroom. He just couldnt do what you wanted and if he did he just couldnt do it well. You didnt know when you got to ten, tears streaming down your cheeks. “JJ…. I dont think I can take more.”You sobbed. 

He took in a deep breath, leaning down. “Hmm…. you’re doing so good, princess. Only five more left, promise I wont be too rough.”He whispered, his fingertips grazing over your thighs, waiting for an answer. You nodded, biting your lip as you waited, his palm hitting you again but not nearly as hard as the others. He spanked you again, rubbing the area after carefully. 

You werent too worried anymore, whispering after he hit you the last time. He gave you a moment to recover, his fingers rubbing your thigh and sides, kissing your shoulder. He turned you over a few moments later, staring down at you. He pressed a kiss to your lips, the act much more gentle than before. 

He pulled away after a second, his hand back at your throat as he pushed into you. You gasped, your head falling against the pillows as he bottomed out. He chuckled, tugging at your hair and forcing your head back some more, leaning down and nipping at your shoulder, only letting go when you whimpered. 

It wasnt hard enough for you to bleed but his teeth left imprints in your skin, a satisfied smile on his face before he sped up. “Does Rafe fuck you like this?”He asked, hitting a spot so deep inside of you that you hadnt even known that it existed. You moaned loudly, feeling him tug your hair again. 

“JJ!”You shouted from the pain against your scalp. “Answer the question.”He told you. You licked your lips, an idea sparking in your mind. “Rafe’s better.”You lied. He looked down at you, fingers pressing hard against your neck. “You want me to stop? You wanna go back to Rafe?”He asked, thrusting in and out of you. You shook your head quickly, wrapping your legs around his torso.

 “Thats what I though, you fucking liar.”He muttered, slowing when he heard a knock at the door. “Anyone in there?”A voice shouted. It was Rafe’s. “Make a sound and im done with you.”He told you, picking up the pace. 

“Rafe, man. Im busy!”He shouted. You bit your lip, closing your eyes and trying your best not to make any noises. You heard a loud groan before heavy footsteps thumped down the hall. JJ chuckled, noticing your relief. “Aww, the poor slut doesnt wanna go back to her boyfriend.”He grinned, biting your neck again. 

You knew Rafe would see the marks but you didnt really care, eyes widening as you clenched around JJ. He let go of you, pulling out and cumming on your bare stomach. He panted, kissing you gently before freeing your wrists, kissing the skin gently. For someone who hated you he was being surprisingly sweet, especially after what just happened.

 It didnt last long before he got up and put his clothes back on, your suspicions confirmed when you noticed a large stain across his shirt. “See you around, kook.”He winked at you before leaving the room. You laid down on the bed, pain running through your body. You felt guilty for feeling so good, your wrists stinging slightly and your heart dropping when you realised Rafe would see.

@outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @deionswannabegirl​​ @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @nas-marie-loves-u​ @28cnn​ @sexytholland​  @yuxsh06   @ifilwtmfc​  @cherryobx​ @poguestarkey​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​  @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​  @sunwardsss @meaganjm​ @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @jj-fic-recs​ @homophobicclownmoviestan​ @jj-iz-bae​ @natalie-kate-98​ @negativity4you​ @nxsmss​ @ofmaybankheart​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx  @curroptbunnie​ @outerbnx-stiles​ @angelreyesgirl100​  @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab @purple-vodka-99 @annmariek8 @harryswigss @imagines-07 @pink-meringues​  @lostaurorax​ @batcat46​

add yourself to my taglist

#JJ Imagine #JJ smut #jj headcanon #jj x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x you #jj maybank smut #jj maybank headcanon #jj maybank

[strawbabysimp]

Adult Trio Hanahaki AU HCs

Chrollo

Chrollo actually expects to contract the disease, waiting patiently as the days go by for the first petals to show up. He knows he's been steadily falling in love and he doesn't intend to let you go down this self-destructive road together. He knows loving him will only lead to more pain for you and he's willing to go through this if it means you're alright in the end.

He spends time researching the illness before his body even shows the signs, so confident in his unrequited love that he doesn't doubt this information will prove handy. After a bit of searching, he learns that there's a surgery, performed in only the darkest of alleys, to relieve this sort of "illness."

When he first wakes up to find soft blue petals falling from his mouth, landing slightly disfigured on the sheet beneath him, he doesn't appear surprised or cringe away. He only picks up one of the blue hydrangeas with a soft smile, his waiting having finally come to an end.

He knows there's some risk to the surgery, a chance he could end up dying while on the table, but there's no other choice. So he savors the two of you's potentially last moments together, bringing you your favorite treats and even that outfit he saw you eyeing in the store when you went for a walk one time. He leaves his coat on your couch and by the time you start to chase after him to return it he's already long gone. Hopefully, he'll have a chance to come back and get it later.

He savors the way they burn coming up, the way he can practically feel them blowing around inside his chest before the next coughing spell. This pain grounds him and a part of him will miss the tragedy of loving you. Another part of him knows the pain in his chest isn't all from the flowers. A small, easily contained, part of him had been wishing you felt the same.

He survives. He's in pain but he lives. The romantic love is now gone but he's glad to have his memories intact. When he appears on your doorstep asking for his coat back you invite him in for a mug of something hot to drink and you feel your heart leap at the kind look he gives you.

Hisoka

When Hisoka first begins coughing up the blood-colored petals he doesn't panic, he's too focused on processing one singular thought to worry about his own wellbeing. He thought you had loved him back.

You two always flirted back and forth and while he did put on a bit of an exaggerated performance when saying such things he thought you had felt the same way. He laughs darkly in disbelief, the disgusting petals making their way up his throat once again, serving as a reminder of how he allowed his idiotic desires to fool him. He really thought that if he put his everything into a wish that he would eventually obtain it.

He tries to make you fall in love with him, getting more and more desperate every day, coughing the undeniable sign he was getting worse into his sleeve whenever he's with you. He acts as if it's some sort of magic trick whenever they appear out of nowhere and into his palm, throwing them up with a wide smile so they can fall over the two of you. Your laughter hurts his ears in a masochistic sort of way. He's falling even more in love.

The days go on and when the coughing gets particularly bad you pat his back comfortingly, you ask him what he's coming down with before you spot the petals. You ask him what that is, eyes wide and confused, staring at him as if he kept some sort of disgusting secret. The rational side of himself knew that you were just concerned, scared for him. The irrational part? It was infuriated. How dare you ask him something like that? You were the one that put him here. He should be asking you what's wrong. He was the scared one, not you.

Bloodlust fills his aura and without thinking he strikes out. It's clean and quick, he didn't even have time to think about it. You're bleeding out and he panics. Bringing his hands up to your neck he tries to stop the rush of red. He realizes after a moment that he can't sense your aura. You were gone. And that's okay, he'll tell himself, he won't suffer anymore if you're dead. A small, wilted, pedal leaves his mouth, falling straight into the puddle of red pooling on your lap. He'll be okay.

He picks up a bouquet of red roses to leave by your grave, the walk there spent reminiscing about the way he used to find beauty in the floral displays and unintentional elegance of even the smallest daisy. Now the sickening scent only serves to remind him of how foolish of a man he was and how foolish of a man he still is for wishing things could have worked out somehow. He never does end up leaving those flowers for you.

Illumi

He's at dinner when it first showed up. The petals. Silently eating his food as his mother ranted about Milluki's reclusive tendencies to his face. His chest burned but he didn't react, acknowledging the pain but being able to handle it. He didn't want to disturb his parents with his problems. Just as he was about to take another spoonful he couldn't control his body's movements. Everyone turned to him with wide eyes, his mother complaining about how rude he was being while he was clearly in pain. Her words stopped when she noticed the flowers falling into his bowl.

They screamed and they screamed. They were furious he could have fallen in love with someone, disappointed that he had allowed such feelings to blossom inside of him. He didn't know what was going on. They acted as if he knew what he did was wrong but he didn't even know what was happening. They later explained that this is the sign of unrequited love. A love so strong yet so brutal that it tears apart the one who fosters it. His mind was reeling, trying to figure out who could have caused such a thing until he landed on you. It wasn't a shocking realization. It just made sense. He was in love. You didn't love him back. Simple. Though he couldn't say for sure if his eyes watered due to the choking or this revelation.

Kikyo quickly made her way over to him, gripping his arm with her claws, dragging him up from out of his chair. He could fight it but he doesn't. He was sorry for whatever he did and now he needed to make up for it. They tell him this will be for his own good, that all things are temporary and he'll be just fine.

The room is dark and cold, he's chained to the wall and he can almost make out shapes in the blackened room. He knows his eyes can't really be seeing the objects but his own memory of being kept just like this so many times before has him mapping it out anyway. His family members only come in to feed him once a day, they never talk or let him know how long he has left in here. After what he would later found out was two months spent in such confines they show up. The light is bright and painful but he keeps his eyes open anyways. He missed seeing the world. The petals have finally stopped.

The next time he meets up with you there's no more coughing. You come up to him and ask him where's he's been, if he's okay, what happened to him, etc. He only tells you he had some family business to take care of. You look down at his wrists, bruised and scabbed over, the way his cheekbones stick out in a way that makes him look sickly rather than nicely defined, taking ahold of his fingers gently you place his palm between two of yours. The soft smile you give him brings butterflies to his stomach and he expects the coughing to start up again. Only it doesn't. There's a soft blush on your cheeks and neither of you pull away from the comforting touch.

#Adult Trio #Headcanons #Chrollo #Hisoka #Illumi #Chrollo Headcanons #Hisoka Headcanons #Illumi Headcanons #Chrollo x Reader #Hisoka x Reader #Illumi x Reader #Hunter x Hunter #HxH #Anime #Chrollo Lucilfer #Hisoka Morow #Illumi Zoldyck

[catt-nuevenor]

I don't know if you're okay with this kinds of asks (please ignore this if you're uncomfortable with it) but... If the ro and mc are having 'fun' In bed when suddenly their kid comes in/almost comes in, how do they react? What kinds of excuse would they say?🤣

As previously stated, I'm trying to steer clear of cringe humour with this react, and instead going more into healthy responses to such an awkward encounter.

Hope you all enjoy!

I HIGHLY recommend you head over to the reacts page to read this. There you can enter your own names and pronouns for the characters.

Reacts Page

P

P swept the blanket up and over MC in a single motion, the fabric falling with an uncanny perfection across their otherwise naked body. Searching through the folds of bedding and discarded clothing, P found their hand and held it comfortingly as they propped herself up and smiled at their partner's child.

"Hi CH." They smiled, doing their best to keep the queasy shame out of their voice. It wasn't anything to feel ashamed of really, but instinct drove a heated blush up from the base of their neck.

The little child was quiet, looking between their ren and P in a stilted silence.

MC turned about in the bed, facing their child. "Are you alright CH?" They asked gently.

CH frowned. Not in an angry way, they didn't seem sad or hurt either, just puzzled. "What are you doing?"

P felt their lover's entire body tense in the span of a heartbeat.

"We..." MC looked up at their with the devotion of utter desperation.

"We were making love CH."

CH's frown got deeper, whilst their ren paled.

"What's does-" The child began, only to be interrupted by a voice from the corridor behind them.

"CH? Could you come and help us with breakfast please?"

P let out a subtle sigh, the expression, along with their relief, shared equally by their lover. After reassurances from them both, CH turned and scampered out of the room, almost forgetting to close the door behind them.

"I could just about kiss that woman right now." P chuckled, deflating bodily, resting their forehead against the warm sanctuary of MC's shoulder.

"Do you think A realised?" They mused, playing with a curly lock of their partner's hair, while their other hand was still entwined with P's.

The woman huffed. "Probably. Even more reason to sing their praises later."

MC laughed, and P lightly pressed the tip of their nose to the sound. "I'm not sure they'd really appreciate a serenade, or a kiss for that matter."

Propping herself back up on their elbows P smirked. "Really? I have it on good authority that I'm a pretty good kisser. Or are you just trying to keep me all to yourself?"

They'd find CH later, sit them down, and no matter how much it might make them both squirm, they'd answer all their questions as honestly, and sensitively as they could. P would also go find A and let their off of washing duty for the next two months.

But that was all for later. In that moment P and MC had far more present matters on their minds.

L

L felt a little bit sick. What the hell had they done?!

Why hadn't they remembered to lock the damn door? It was automatic most nights. Tuck CH in, retreat back to their private room, get utterly engrossed in MC, and before anything else, lock the door.

They hadn't noticed at first. They was too busy with 'other matters' to notice the slow creak of the door's hinge, or the small voice that asked for their ren. MC had. They'd noticed right away.

With a mortified groan, L pulled their knees up to their chest, tucking their head into the cradle of their crossed arms. Great, just great. One stupid mistake and not only had they likely traumatised a small child, but they'd more than likely ruined their relationship with MC.

Their soon to be ex-lover was with their child, trying to find a way to explain what it was they saw, and settle them back to sleep. How the hell they planned to do that L didn't have the foggiest. And what was L doing? Hiding like a coward.

This time, when the door's hinges gave their low creak L heard them, but they didn't look up. They couldn't bear to see MC's disappointment.

The bed dipped slightly as they sat down, and L automatically shuffled aside to make a bit more room. Then, a thick silence descended, burying their shame beneath renewed guilt.

"Are you alright L?" MC asked gently, startling the young fisher.

They looked up, eyes wide, jaw slack, thinking they must have misheard. "What?"

With a compassionate smile, MC reached out and took L's hand. "I said, are you alright?"

"I- You-" They spluttered, treading between confusion and annoyance as their eyes flickered between their partner and the door. "But, CH-"

"Is fine L." MC said, stroking their thumb across L's knuckles. "A little confused, but mostly worried that they upset you."

"What!?"

MC leant in close and kissed the gaping woman's cheek. "Remember it is still the middle of the night love. You don't want to wake the others do you?"

"No. But-" L dropped their indignation to a whisper. "What about CH? How can they just be fine with it?"

MC shifted further onto the bed, tucking their bare feet back under the rumpled blankets, gesturing for L to lay down beside them once they'd settled.

"Children understand more than you think." They explained, pulling the blankets up over them once L had joined them. "I told them the truth, that we were showing each other how much we loved each other in the way adults in a relationship do. That it was a natural part of some but not all grownup relationships, and that it wasn't anything to be ashamed of or worried about."

"And they just accepted all that?"

MC nodded. "They'll probably have a lot of questions in the morning, but I'll take some time to sit with them and go through anything that worries them."

"I-" L struggled to find their way back from the crippling embarrassment of moments ago, and back to some sense of logic. They should be a part of this somehow. The realisation almost threw their straight back into full scale panic, but they did their best to keep calm.

CH thought they'd upset their, while they still feared they'd upset them. The most straightforward way to reassure them both was to talk it through. Maybe...

At least they'd both have MC's support, no matter how awkward the conversation went.

When L asked to help, MC kissed their so sweetly they felt some of the anxiety melt away at once. The rest would likely sit there till the talk tomorrow. For now though there was comfort, warmth, and the familiar tangle of limbs to enjoy as they let their dreams sweep them away into sleep.

A

"Ready for this?" A asked, squeezing MC's hand tightly for a few moments when they saw the panic in their eyes.

With a dry gulp MC shook their head. "Not really." They glanced at the open door, no doubt wondering whether there was still time to make a run for it before their child arrived.

A patted their knee, smiling warmly when they turned their nervous gaze to their.

"I guess I just wasn't expecting to have to have... this conversation, not yet anyway."

The Cunningwoman gave a sympathetic nod. "No, I imagine not."

It wasn't really anyone's fault. Just a poor sense of timing, and forgetfulness. It was lucky CH didn't come in a minute or two earlier, who knew what they would have thought upon seeing that particular part of their love making. It was all unfortunate but none of them could go back and change the past. It simply was what it was.

A took in a calming breath, letting the morning air flow in and fill their lungs, before letting it go once more. It had to be done. If they simply let the matter lie CH would more than likely build up their own theories on what they had seen. Would they think they were fighting? That A was in someway hurting MC? Or worse would they think that sex was something expected of them at their age?

The idea made A's skin squirm, and their insides writhe. No. They would tell CH what they were doing plainly, without oversimplification, or gratuitous detail. They'd explain that it should be an action of sincere and mutual trust, that no one should ever take what was not freely given, and that it was a complexity of grown up relationships, and that when the time was right, and they met someone they cared for and trusted, and that both they and their partner wanted to take their relationship to that level of physical intimacy, only then would they need to consider sex.

MC chuckled quietly beside their, attempting to muffle the sound behind their palm.

"What is it?" A asked with an amused smile of their own.

"You have that look about you." MC explained, placing a fingertip on the fold of a slight frown that sat between their dark brows. "The same one you get when Erda gives you a difficult customer to manage."

A laughed. "I'm sure CH will be much better behaved than that."

Their lover shrugged. "I don't know. How many seven year olds have you dealt with?" The soul smirked as a lick of confusion danced across their partners expression. "Any question you hope they don't ask, you can guarantee they will."

A flutter of nerves tickled at the base of A's throat, though they did their best to remain outwardly calm. "Well, it's a good thing I have a practiced hand with me, isn't it?" They said, laying a soft kiss against MC's jaw, revelling in the sigh it drew from them.

There was a light tap of a tiny hand upon the door. A drew herself back, settling as naturally as they could beside MC, still holding their hand as they called out to their child.

K

"I don't understand why you hid it from them this long." K said, resting their weight back upon one hip, pivoting slightly to keep MC in sight as they fussed around their room.

"Because a little child shouldn't have to worry about things like that." They snapped, frustration and shame making their temper brittle.

K watched quietly as they slumped onto the bed, their head resting in their hands. They didn't understand the burden their efenhlytta struggled beneath. Making love was natural, every creature upon the earth or in the waters procreated in some form, yet it was only people that put such pressures on the act. Made guilt when there was no logical reason to be any.

Cautiously they sat beside their lover, and despite the ease with which they might do so, they made no move to touch them. "What will you tell them?" K asked, keeping their words, and their voice, calm and gentle.

Of course they expected them to bristle, or snap out a response born of frustration once more, and they was shocked when instead MC slumped further into the bed.

"I don't know." They said on a fragile whisper. "I don't know what I'm going to tell them."

"I didn't realise this would upset you to this degree." K said, after a brief but pointed silence had settled between them unbroken for many minutes. "Would you like me to talk to CH."

The child's ren looked up from the cradle formed of their fingers, considering their with something close to curiosity, though the finer detail of what it was that curiosity was focused upon seemed lost to them both.

"You'd do that?" MC asked, clearly not ready to believe K's answer before they'd even had chance to reply.

The strange woman nodded. "Of course, if you want me to."

They let their mind linger a while on the offer, the ease at which they might pass on the burden of the conversation they had no desire to have. But deep down they knew they could never accept.

It wouldn't do CH any good. They needed to be comfortable when they discussed what had to be discussed, and while they both got along far better than they used to, K's presence still unsettled their child.

"No." MC sighed, though they made effort to smile through the exhale. "Thank you though. If-"

They hesitated.

"If you would... be there with me? When I talk to CH."

With lithe fingers, K caught MC's chin and delicately tilted their head about so that their eyes might meet. "For you my efenhlytta, I would stand before the greatest of challenges, no matter how dire."

K kiss demanded all the attention MC's worries might steal away for themselves. When they pushed them back into the sheets, they could not help the muffled gasp.

"Shall we finish our own conversation?" K murmured into the delightful warmth of their efenhlytta's neck, kissing where their quickened pulse fluttered visibly beneath their skin.

"What- what conversation is that?" MC breathed, their breath hitching as K nipped ever so lightly at their prize.

The strange one smiled. "The conversation your child interrupted earlier, of course."

#myrkmire #reacts #interactive fiction #hosted games #choice of games