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#so yeah we can enjoy our bs too thank you
sleepynegress · 2 years
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Okay... ABOUT The Woman King...
This is just my yelling into the void about internet stupidity, the gullibility of black folks, falling for and proliferating Nazi-ass propaganda... etc. etc... So, I'll keep this short.
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I LOVE sword and sandal movies. When I hear that Persian woman singing on the soundtrack (you know the one) and see muscle men wearing some sandals with a short sword in hand, I snuggle into the couch with a snack and await a good-ass hero's journey and some chopped heads... I'm also AWARE of the fact that pretty much every powerful culture we observe through an entertainment lens, espec. back in those days (and those fantasy inspired narratives too), was actually involved in some cultural genocide, enslavement, subjugation, misogyny, and much much more... I'm grown enough and just plain have enough regular-ass logic to be able to seperate those facts from the media (FICTIONAL MEDIA AT THAT! hun what you think based upon mean?!) NOW, that black women are centered I see them Nazi fucks, Hotep-head-ass bm, and bw pick-mes not reading the fact that none of these "here's the real evil behind the fictional movie." takes, never happened for the all those other movies... in which black woman did not star and weren't centered. Really, think about how weird and actually sad in a Mean Girls "Why are you so obsessed w/ us?" way that these weak-ass Nazi bitches are basically keeping a burn-book about black women's stuff... Black women stuff... In other words, you got to go out of your way, which is the majority, to insert yourself into what you see as a niche to just hate on it. ...Imagine the energy? It's like having every flavor of ice cream known to man in your possession. catered to your tastes... only to walk your ass across the street and down the block, with that melting cone of ice cream (of which is always available to you) that is your favorite flavor. .. to knock that one cone that somebody else is holding to the ground, a flavor you don't even like, and wasn't planning on eating, just because. You know how weird it would be if black women were making bots, and spreading disinformation about Northman?? Like... we didn't because we. don't. give afUUUUUU.... So why do they??? Weirdos. Anyway. The Woman King kicks ass, block or report all the obsessed ass haters and gulliables.
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devine-fem · 3 months
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why don't you like jayjon? Genuinely asking btw and I'm neutral btw I don't really ship superheroes kids, so yeah
Alright, firstly I have always come across damijon shippers that ship them as kids because their purest connection peaked when they were young so you kind of permanently keep Jon and Damian as kid in your head because of what DC did to them.
We ship them in a ‘wholesome crush on your best friend, twisting inside you over time that you snub out till you reach your adulthood and have the maturity to deal with it’ type of way. The beauty of Damijon is not the fact that it’s Bat x Super. I honestly don’t care for this dynamic ergo not shipping superbat and not liking Timkon at all. The beauty of Damijon is that they could become something with a friendship to back it up, then continue to push each other’s characters forward while being in a relationship if the writer cared enough. It’s a plus that they care for each other so much and have the personalities to really balance each other out.
I enjoy ships like Daminika, Dami x Colin and other Jon ships as well. I just only post damijon and talk about them. It’s only Jonj*y I have issues with. It’s not about ‘getting in the way of my ship’ nothing can ever get in the way of me enjoying damijon and fandom is just gonna have to deal with that. We all come here for enjoyment because we should supposedly enjoy DC for DC and find community in that, enjoy our ideas and takes on it and one person is not going to perceive or enjoy something the same way but we are so damn MEAN to each other. Damijon gets a lot of heat, mostly because twitter damijon stans are annoying and horrible and damijon antis are just as bad.
So the problem I have with Jonj*y is just deep rooted.
Firstly, I hate the way it came about. The last thing Jon’s character needed was to be in a relationship period but then for it to be a queer relationship used as a tool to garner sales? There’s nothing in the world I dislike more than queer baiting. The last thing we needed from DC was to pull something like this and as a queer person it just really gets under my skin - as it should anyone, to be honest.
Even regardless of that Jonj*y is the relationship equivalent of stale bread. They have no chemistry, Jay has no character besides catoring to Jon’s sexuality, and even if they were to explore him there’s no point because objectively they’ve tarnished Jon Kent way too much to be wasting comic ink on Jay.
I don’t like aged up Jon Kent as a whole, it’s not like I want him to stay a kid forever - obviously not. The fun of a comic book character is their growth! Jon over time should have never been able to get to the age he is now when other comic book characters struggle to get near that age in decades. I MEAN HE’S NEARLY OLDER THAN KON RIGHT NOW. Bendis did what he did to Jon because he ain’t even like him.
There are real serious issues with Jon Kent’s age up than him getting with Damian. I know how to seperate my ship/fanon from canon. I can go on and on about the problems with it without mentioning Damian once.
I had to put “JonJ*y apologist DNI” in my bio because the stans kept coming to my page and spewing BS 24/7 so I thought it was my absolute right to make sure they knew this page was not for them.
If you enjoy the ship at all then you will not like me because I have almost every single active Jonj*y poster blocked because I have fought with them at least once because they wanted to be stupid and spew nonsense on Jon Kent when you can tell they haven’t read a damn comic besides SSOKE and it really shows.
If you enjoy it, just block me. It’s only a matter of time before we fight anyway, so don’t waste your breath because the whole time you could be trying to open your mouth, you could open a comic book instead, how about that?
Thanks for the asks though, LOL.
P.2
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@organized-chaotic-disaster I totally see what you mean 😭 (tho I haven’t played the Derek or Baxter DLCs myself). Tbh I think the main reason you can’t be poly is the fact that it would be hard to implement in an already complex game with high customization of your experience, especially since it’s written by one person— idk how they’d do that tbh. And I know GB has gone on record to say that Cove wouldn’t be down for a poly relationship, but it still sucks to not have the option. I understand why poly relationships aren’t really a thing in games— a combination of monogamy being the norm irl and the difficulty in implementing the mechanic itself —but I hope one day those barriers can be broken down so it becomes an option 😭 And sorry if any of this comes across as me coming for you or something, that’s not my intention!!! I just had some thoughts I wanted to share. Overall I definitely agree that things like this could and should be handled better, and hopefully will be with future games with dateable NPCs— I’d love to explore that myself, and I wish I could with OL.
[original post]
Mm, It's certainly not impossible to add in those features [the FH series, for example, is a single writer and they've added in poly options upon fan requests] but, I can understand not wanting to put the extra work in yeah, especially since the creator has been saying for a while now that "this is the last thing I'll do for olba" like, they seem to be really trying to move on to the next project, so I get it.
It's also why I don't expect to ever get any resolution for this😔but it still does make me very sad because I really do love this game so much, it's one of the few forms of media out there that make me feel comfortable/understood/safe with myself and the lack of a poly option really takes away from that feeling quite a bit.
My main gripe though is that there isn't any conversation at all about it. Like, that just takes away from the experience of the game.
Once you choose to date Baxter, everyone just goes 'Error 404' on you and seems to outright forget that you were basically setting up to and expected to marry Cove. That, to me, reads like a failing of writing.
Like, there should be some dialogue, y'know? Cove should be able to question your relationship, even in a round-about and self-concious/self-serving way, there should be some tension there where he has to tackle his very real feelings for you and you can possibly do the same for him but, there's just none. Like, if you flirt with him in Step 2, have that romantic tension carry over to Step 3 he shouldn't be able to just shrug off all his feelings instantly. Feelings don't work that way, bro😂It just bugs me that it's so inorganic and unable to be explored. Cove and MC have a lot of history, they should be able to talk about it in every aspect, y'know?
Also! Not ranting at you specifically, lmao! I'm just sharing my feelings. Thank you so much for replying to me, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts! It's also just nice to see that someone out there also wants the poly options like me🥺we got too much love in our wee little hearts for this single romance bs lmaooo
I lowkey wish there was a mod community for games like these😂ngl, it'd be nice to just have a mod that ignored certain flags or something so that you could at least have the romantic tension still there with Cove while you romance someone else. It doesn't fix the lack of dialogue option but it'd be better than the clear and noticable lack of what was clearly there before. At least then it'd be easier to pretend there was something to bite into lol
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matan4il · 2 years
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Can I just throw out there that this episode is the perfect reason why alot of us (including you) always say speculating to much will just make you get let down. It was an episode full of goodness but some people will only concentrate on the fact Chris didnt stay home with Buck or Eddie didn't come out to his parents.
My personal take before was that of course Chris gloes with Eddie and this seasons theme has been parenting. I felt it was easiest to assume this would be about parenting
Also so well done opening with soft comfortable Buddie. Buck not afraid to call Eddie on his BS. Picking up Pepa. How cute Eddies face was when he called for Chris.
Side note to I think Chris needed to absent from Bucks storyline with Taylor. You mentioned the scene with his arm behind her but to me there was actually more.. They seemed to intentionally make her seem smaller and maybe more frail and yet they didn't have Buck act how he normally would in that situation when he was the bigger one. The protector. You contrast it with Jee and Maddie and its blaring you know.
Anyways I went a lottle off track there sorry. Loved your meta this week!
Hi lovely!
Absolutely this. Let’s take Chris staying with Buck. I get wanting that (I would love it, too) and with everything we’ve seen so far in the Buddifer family unit, it wouldn’t be out of place.
But at the end of the day, I think a big part of how the ep was constructed was tied to Gavin not being available to film for it. Think about it, had Chris stayed with Buck, we would have never been okay with him being constantly only referred to, while being absent from our screens (having fallen asleep in the car or being in the other room). We would have wanted to see it! I’m not sure we wouldn’t have been just as disappointed, if not more so. Also, Buck needed to be involved with Taylor, Chim and Hen in this ep, to set up the B/T break up. That was good stuff! But it worked better without Chris there. Plus, when we will one day get to see Chris staying with Buck like that, it would be so much better to not have to see someone like Taylor being a part of that, awkwardly trying to interact with Christopher as well. I also absolutely agree with you that everything between B/T in this ep was off.
And as you’ve said, what Eddie was going through in ep 517 had everything to do with cross-generational parenting, he’s a mirror image of his dad despite not wanting to. Mentioning Chris is there, even if we don’t see him on screen, is a good reminder for casual viewers that Eddie’s thinking of who he is, as a son and as a father, when he looks at his dad. It was needed. So yeah, I think what we got worked well, and better than the alternative.
Thank you so much for the kind words about my meta, and for expanding the dialogue about this ep! I enjoyed it so much. Have a great day! xoxox
(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)
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cherrypeaking · 10 months
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good morning my princess~ 🥺🩵
i don’t have much to say about my evening it was pretty boring >< didn’t leave the house, had an okay dinner, and stayed in my room for most of the day lol
feeling a little stir crazy right now, you know i don’t like being in the house for too long i wish we could take a long walk and enjoy the weather (okay maybe the weather here isn’t very enjoyable it’s like 36 degrees right now and we’re expected to have thunderstorms later so maybe i’ll go to you instead djshs it’ll be more enjoyable bc you’re there 🥺🥺🩵)
i’m looking forward to talking to you the most, my soft pretty girlfriend and her comforting voice and infectious laugh 🥺🥺🩵🩵 hoping to god we have 0 interruptions and none of discord’s bs where our audio will cut out for ten seconds for no reason 😭😭😭 it’s funny bc other than those two things our calls always go so smoothly and i’m so thankful for that!
wow not me actually writing a short letter? i didn’t know i had it in me hehe
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sorbet themed tyunning moodboard bc you mentioned sorbet literally twice at most yet it’s been stuck in my head all day 😭😭
i love you so much cherry bear, you’re so dedicated and strong and hardworking and ambitious you inspire me to work hard and be better 🥺🩵 the mental image of us drinking hot chocolate together and holding hands in the early winter is motivating me to work my butt off on this job apps i wanna work harder for you, for me, for US 🥺🥺
i believe in you my love!! you’re so full of light and warmth 🥺🩵 my cherry is the best~
mommy that’s okay~ 🥺🩷 like you say sometimes uneventful is good too 🥺🥺🩷
hehehe omg yeah 36 degrees is so hot >< i get why you’d rather stay home with the ac on!! these days it’s pretty cool outside so we definitely could have walked a lot 🥺🥺 we would be holding hands the whole time, going at our own pace~
>\\\\< you’re flattering me mommy~ i can’t wait to be talking to you as well, my soft girlfriend with the most adorable laugh and the most beautiful voice 🥺🥺🩷 i love talking to you allll the time 🥹🥹🩷 omg i do hope we don’t get interrupted definitely!! it’s so weird that our calls go so smoothly and then suddenly the audio gets cut for a few seconds and it’s still distressing 😭 let me talk to my girlfriend in peace!!
the moodboard is so cute mommy 🥹🥹 definitely sorbet inspired and the pink tyunning are always adorable~
you’re gonna move me ;3; i love you so so much my love 🥺🥺🩷 you’re so brave my darling, i know you can do it!! you’ve overcome a lot of things and you’re still here 🥺🥺🩷 being with you makes me wanna move mountains!! 🥺🥺🩷 ahhhh winter tyuntwinz is gonna be so good and cute 🥹🥹🩷 i want us to cuddle while it’s so cold outside~
i believe in you too mommy 🥺🥺🩷 you’re so strong!! you’ll get it!! 🥺🥺🩷
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arizona2004 · 2 years
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may I humbly request a fluffy cassian x reader where they find out they're expecting a baby? maybe after trying for a long time? if you're uncomfortable with pregnancy I get it!! love your writing xx
Thank you, thank you! I hope you enjoy
Cassian x pregnant Fem!reader
Warnings: mentions of sex and cumming but no actual smut, nausea/vomiting
Word Count: 1590
In the boring meeting room at the house of mind, I start zoning out, not caring all that much about all the political BS that doesn’t pertain to me. My attention span is short as is; put me in a room with plain white walls and uncomfortable chairs while people discuss stuff that has nothing to do with me, of course, I’m gonna zone out. 
I look up, though, when I feel my mate’s eyes on me from his place across the table. Once upon a time, we were allowed to sit next to one another at these meetings, but that privilege was taken away when Cassian loudly came in his pants. I can’t put all the blame on him, though. It was my hand that made him cum. 
When our eyes meet across the expanse of oak he wiggles his eyebrows at me, the simple act brings a giggle up my throat, but I hold it back, and he raises his eyebrows as if to say, ‘it’s that easy to make you laugh?’
I shrug in response ‘with boring shit like this going on, yeah.’
Cas crosses his eyes in response, and I have to seal my lips tightly to keep the smile from them. This only motivates Cassian to try harder, though. He makes an insane fish-like facial expression, and I have to put a hand to my mouth to keep myself from laughing. Cassian only grins in response.
“Do the two of you want to leave?” Rhysands voice booms, slightly annoyed, from the end of the table. “You’re no longer needed here, so how about you get out of my hair and stop distracting everyone like a bunch of toddlers.”
A laugh finally does escape my throat as Rhys scolds me and my husband. I quickly rise to my feet, a hand over my mouth, and meet Cassian near the door so we can exit together. When the door shuts behind us I turn and meet Cas’s eyes. It doesn’t take half a second before we burst out laughing together.
This is what I’ve always loved about my husband. He’s easy to laugh with. He’s easy to do anything with. Gripping his hand in mine, I start walking down the hallway, eager to get out of this building. It’s always felt too stuffy to me. There’s not enough room to run away. Without wings of my own, I feel sort of trapped up here. 
When we get to the open doors that lead to a large balcony, I quickly step up to the railing and spin, opening my arms. Cas is quick to step into them and pull me to his chest.
“Ready?” he asks against my hair.
“Mhmm,” I mumble, squeezing him tightly. He shoots into the air, and I struggle to suppress my scream at the lost feeling of the ground beneath my feet. It’s only a few more minutes before they land on the ground again, though. As my feet find their purchase on the hard stone beneath me, Cas steps away, and when he does, a strong feeling of nausea rushes through me. 
I put my hand to my mouth for what feels like the millionth time today, but now it is to hold in the bile rising up my throat. 
“Y/N?” Cas’s voice is laced with concern beside me as he puts a hand on my back to steady me. It doesn’t do much good, though, because a second later, I’m bending over and emptying my guts onto the street. 
“Y/N?” Cassian is more than concerned now as he pulls me into his arms, not caring about the puke on his boots as he lifts us into the air and directs us toward Madja’s. 
When we land, again, on the steps to the healers' hospice I resist the urge to vomit again. The early morning wind blows my hair around mildly and combined with the vomit still on my mouth I can only imagine what I look like as Cas barges through the doors.
Healers rush toward us, and I’m helpless to listen even now as they all focus on me. Cassian is telling them something as we’re guided into a room, but I can’t even focus on his voice.
I’m lifted onto a bed, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Madja enter the room. The bustling becomes too much. So much is happening around me, so when sleep comes knocking I let it take me.
I wake up later, a slight pain starting at my hand and running up my arm. I turn my head to the right to face it and find my mate: head laying on the bed and his hand squeezing mine.
“Cas?” His head pops up immediately, and he squeezes my hand tighter, causing me to cringe at the pain.
“What’s wrong? What hurts?”
“My hand- you’re squeezing too tight.”
“Oh!” he immediately loosens his grip on me, and the pain quickly ebbs. “Madja is running some tests, but without knowing more from you specifically, she couldn’t speculate about anything. When you’re ready, I can get her so she can ask questions.”
I nod, letting him know he can, so he jumps to his feet and peeks out the door to say something to whoever he sees. 
Madja enters a few minutes later, a smile on her face, no concern anywhere. “You’re not sick.”
“You’re already sure?”
“I think I know what caused the vomiting and fainting, but I suppose it could be unrelated. You were feeling nauseous, though?” I nod. “You were probably overwhelmed and stressed right before you fainted.” I nod again. “You’ve been getting a little more tired recently? You’re hungrier? Slight stomach cramps?”
“Yes,” I say, nodding, “how do you know?”
“Those are all common symptoms this early in it.”
“In what?” Cas asks, but I think we both know what she’s talking about. 
We’ve both read every book and spoken to midwife after midwife and Madja herself time and time again. I don’t know how I didn’t put the symptoms together sooner. I’ve even gained some weight.
“You’re pregnant,” she says, a smile blooming on her face as she looks from me to Cassian, knowing just how long we’ve been trying.
A choked sob leaves Cassian's mouth, and I sit up as fast as I can and pull him close to me. “We’re gonna be parents,” he says, smiling as tears run down his face. I nod furiously and kiss him. Madja leaves the room on silent feet, and it’s all I can do to not jump Cassian's bones right now. “We’re going to have a baby!”
I’m sobbing into his shoulder as he holds me tightly against his chest, sitting on the bed where I was just laying. “It only took a century,” I choke out, clutching him tighter. He laughs and pulls me closer, putting a gentle and protective hand over my stomach.
5 months later
“How are we gonna tell them?” I ask, struggling to bend over and slip my boots on.
“They already suspect something. I think we should just not tell them and see how long it takes for someone to ask.”
“Ask what? ‘Hey, Y/N, you look like you’ve gained some weight, and I’ve noticed you haven't been training as much recently. What’s up with that?’”
“No one is going to mention your weight. I don’t even think you have gained any weight; you look the same.”
I roll my eyes, knowing full well I have gained plenty of weight, and everyone has noticed. “Will you just come over and help me. I can’t even reach my feet.”
Cas is quick to cross the room and kneel at my feet. He pulls the shoe from my hand and gently pushes it onto my foot before reaching for the other. 
When I’m all laced up, we finish gathering our things and begin walking over to Rhys and Feyre’s River House. He holds my hand the entire way, but we stay silent, just soaking in the other's company. 
“I still think we should tell them,” I say as Cas reaches for the door handle. He pauses before opening it and smiles at me.
“Okay, love. If that’s what you want.” he swings the door open and leads us to the sitting room where the rest of our friends and family are already gathered, chatting about something or another. Cas stops us in the doorway and, without hesitation, says, “I’m pregnant.”
Anyone that hadn’t already looked up at us as we entered the doorway looks now. Their expressions are a mix of open confusion, curiosity, and shock. I immediately burst out laughing, and it’s Varian who speaks first from where he sits, Amren perched in his lap, “How the fuck are you Pregnant?”
I can’t help but laugh harder.
“Well, I’m not technically the one with a baby in my womb, but…” he trails off, not bothering to finish the sentence as everyone turns their gazes to me. 
“Oh, my Mother!” Mor exclaims as Feyre hops up from the couch to congratulate you. Rhys passes a bundle of bills to Azriel, and everyone else surrounds me, asking various questions about how far along and if I think it’s a boy or girl. All the while, Cas is a steady weight at my back: unmoving and calming. His arms wrap around my waist, a comforting band, and I can’t help but lean back into him as our family revels in the happy news. 
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teklarn · 3 years
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I NEED A PART TWO FOR BAUKGOU’S AWKWARD CONFESSION!!
𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓽. 2
character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader
a/n: k the first one kinda blew up and i've been on tumblr for like a week and it made me rly happy receiving the requests ty <33 thank u for all the reblogs too !! this is a bit later than i hoped it would come out b/c half of the original fic was deleted by accident, but i’m on summer break until sept 5 so hopefully i’ll still update frequently. 
𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕!
summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you. 
genre: lil angsty, fluffy at the end
warnings: cursing, one-sided pining, gave reader a quirk, the fighting scene is bs i cannot write action scenes at all im so sorry lol,  second hand embarrassment for our dearest dynamight :(
word count: 2507
pls don't mind any typos! i try to edit to the best of my ability but i tend to type fast and i might miss a few or a lot of things. 
- - -
read part one here my loves !!
you found yourself bored, cheeks puffing out as you swirled around the drink in your glass cup, sitting across from midoriya. he was muttering again, which you’d always found cute, however you weren’t listening this time at all. 
part of the reason you’d rejected bakugou was due to the fact midoriya had requested your attention first, and not as friends. if you’d told bakugou that, it would just wound his delicate ego on top of the fact that you truly had no interest in him whatsoever. 
at the moment, though, he was the only thing on your mind. there was no sudden spark of attraction you’d felt when he’d confessed. of course, anyone would find it flattering that the katsuki bakugou found you attractive. his standards were higher than the clouds. 
at the moment, it felt like something was blocking your chest from feeling something for him, however you couldn’t pinpoint what it was. 
“—it was amazing, right, y/n? y/n?” 
your eyes flickered up to meet the emerald, wide-eyed eyes of your friend. you contemplated lying, but it was no use. shaking your head softly and pursing your lips, you set your drink down. “i’m sorry, midoriya. i’m just kind of...out of it, i guess you could say?” 
he cocked his head to the side. “’out of it’?” he repeated. 
“yeah,” you sighed, head pounding. 
“is everything alright? maybe today isn’t the best time for this.” 
“yeah,” you agreed. “maybe.” 
“do you want to go back to the dorms?” 
you nodded, massaging your temples. “yeah, yeah let’s go home.” 
midoriya let out a soft chuckle through his nose, smiling. “alright.” he offered his hand, and you gladly let him heave you up. 
“i’m sorry about this. honestly, midoriya, i enjoy your company, i really do. but i never assumed you’d catch feelings for me too—” 
“too?” he blinked. the two of you continued on your way back to Heights Alliance. 
you gulped. “yeah, there’s—” 
“are you saying you caught feelings for me, as well?”
your eyes fell blank, lips parting in question. “no, uh. you know what? never mind.” you giggled gently in hopes the two of you would laugh it off without another thought. perhaps you should keep you and bakugou’s quiet interaction to yourself. midoriya and bakugou were already rivals enough. 
the following week was agonizing in many ways. sitting beside bakugou guaranteed that you would get strange, judgmental looks. it never guaranteed his stolen glances. when you’d catch him staring, his cheeks would flare up, and you swore he had smoke puffing out his ears. 
each time, he looked as if he would explode. what can you expect from a guy like him? 
it was easy to assume you’d just pissed him off, though. you weren’t the type of person to tell everyone you’d been asked out, but you needed to speak to someone about it. the thought had been nagging you, stuck at the back of your mind but just on the tip of your tongue. 
you even found that you were distancing yourself from midoriya, who, after asking you out, had insisted you begin calling him izuku. over everyone else, you’d choose him to speak to about the matter, but ever since you’d discovered he had feelings all along, it was strange being around him. 
you viewed him differently. he shot you glimmering smiles and blushed softly when you said his first name. 
“y/n?” 
you twisted around to see mina rocking on her heels behind you. “yes?” 
“are you okay? you seem...how do i put this.” she tapped a pink finger against her lips. “off. you seem off. is everything alright?” 
your brows raised. “oh, yeah. i’m good. thanks for checking in.” 
“is there anything you want to talk about?” she adjusted her hero costume. you and the rest of the girls were currently changing for another training exercise. 
yaoyorozu fixed her hero costume. “i don’t mean to impose on anything, but i have to agree with mina, y/n. of course, there’s no pressure to tell us anything. you’re under no obligation to unless you need and want to talk to someone, but we’re here if you need us, okay?” 
you nodded, smiling softly. “thanks you guys.” 
it was the same training as before, however you were able to select a partner of your own. being that there were 21 students in the class, there was always ought to be a group of three, or one person left out. you’d come into yuuei out of pure luck, as some like to put it. 
you’d found it offensive they’d assumed it was that and not your own pure skill. it’d taken a while to re-convince yourself that you were worthy of being in the class, even if you were usually the odd one out. 
most students had already bonded by the time you arrived here, so finding a partner wasn’t always easy. once you and midoriya had gotten close, you two did most things together, however at the moment, you weren’t quite feeling it. 
surprisingly, your eyes caught bakugou standing alone, eyes scanning the room for a partner. kirishima must have partnered up with another friend, then. it was always them together. 
unfortunately, you weren’t quick enough to avoid either of them. bakugou was already trotting up to you, eyes locked on your figure just as midoriya began jogging to your side. 
in perfect unison, they asked, “be my partner?” (in two very different tones, of course.) 
you blinked between them, about to answer when aizawa came up behind you three. 
“are you guys in the group of three?” your teacher deadpanned. 
your shoulders slumped. “yeah, i guess so.” 
“get to work. you’ve already wasted five minutes standing around.” 
you nodded politely. “yes, sensei.” 
you swallowed. bakugou’s crimson gaze was pinning you in your spot, and midoriya’s lips thinned with a lack of enthusiasm when bakugou looked back at him. 
“get to work, you three,” aizawa repeated, walking away. 
“i can take on both of you.” bakugou cracked his knuckles. 
you clenched your fists. “we already know you’re at the top of the class, bakugou. there’s no need to rub it in our faces.” 
he averted his eyes, cheeks flushing red. it was like a sad, silly way of letting you know you won this fight. 
“i’ll go against you two,” you said, adjusting your hero costume. 
midoriya’s eyes widened. “what? y/n, but—” 
“but i’m not strong enough?” you finished for him. you knew where they ranked in strength, and while yours was just as powerful, if you let one thing slip, your arrows would disappear and you’d be dust. “that’s exactly my point, you two are practically at the top of the class with your quirks.” 
“tch, don’t hold back,” bakugou said, readying himself. 
“don’t go easy on me,” you mocked. 
“y/n, do you really think this is a good idea—” before izuku could finish, you and bakugou launched yourselves at one another. 
you charged forwards. an arrow flew from your hand, twisting its way right through the smoke of an explosion. when it cleared, bakugou was nowhere to be seen. 
a gasp fell from your lips as you turned around just a little too late. your ears rang terribly as your back collided with the ground. 
izuku cried out. green lightning flashed, and he was at your side in a moment. “kacchan!”
you groaned, sitting up. bakugou cut through the smoke with an arm. “fight me, damned nerd. there aren’t any pauses in a real fight.” 
you wriggled yourself away from midoriya. “midoriya, you’re my enemy in this.” 
“bu—” 
“no buts. fight me. and don’t hold back.” 
midoriya noted the determination in your eyes and stood, giving you a sure nod. you were back on your feet in a second. bakugou flew in the air and came crashing down just as fast as he conjured a blast in his right hand. 
attacking wasn’t your best option right now. you were smart enough to know that. an arrow appeared flat at your back and pulled you from where bakugou was targeting. 
cement flew into the air. 
that blast could have wounded you badly. possibly killed you, if he’d hit the right spots. 
in the air, you examined their zealous features. midoriya’s brows were furrowed in that determined smolder. 
bakugou, as always, looked angry. as expected, he charged first, shooting himself into the air. his foot nearly collided with your face, missing my barely an inch. you took your shot, revealing the arrow you’d hidden behind your back. the tip collided with his chest. 
you left the arrow to complete its command and stick your blonde opponent to the wall and trap him there while you went after midoriya. 
while he bested you in strength, you did the same to him when it came to speed. you dodged his punches like they were weak attempts at hitting a ball in a park. 
you grinned. in a battle of strength and speed, whoever landed the first hit would win. there was no question. 
twisting in the air, you allowed the ball of your foot to shove midoriya to the ground. he cried out as his face was crushed into the cement. 
it was perfect timing, as bakugou ripped free of your hold, the arrow keeping him in one spot dissolving into air as soon as its purpose was lost. 
your head whipped around to see him charging for you. 
your fingers curled. the headache pounding at your temples was beginning to get hard to ignore. 
bakugou launched himself at you, spinning in the air like a missile. he really wasn’t going to howitzer you...right? 
when he didn’t slow down, you threw your body to the right, the attack just barely missing your leg. it scorched a bit of your thigh. a groan fell from your lips as you cupped the area around the burn, shuddering with pain. 
bakugou’s chest was puffed proudly as he marched up to you, hands cracking with excited explosions. 
he pulled back his right arm, ready to spark up another fight as midoriya recollected himself. you bit your lip to hide the fact you were quivering. 
it was sudden, but bakugou paused when he saw your hand fly up. 
“give me a minute...” you gasped out, skin still sizzling. 
“y/n! are you alright?” 
you didn’t respond. midoriya smacked his friend’s arm. “kacchan! what’re you thinking?”
“midoriya, i’m fine. don’t stress over it.” you limped to your feet, rejecting the extended hand from your green-haired friend. “i’ll just go see recovery girl.” 
“do you need—” 
you smacked midoriya’s hand away, a little bit more rude than you intended it to be. “i’ll be...fine.” you offered a weak smile to hopefully make up for your tiny outburst. 
although you could see in his eyes he wanted to help, midoriya nodded and stood by, hand falling back to his side. you clutched around the patch of burned skin. the sting had faded a bit, however there was a soreness to the wound that felt like a constant stabbing to your leg. 
you swallowed the pain down, marching towards the exit with determination and a bit of a limp.
you looked back to see midoriya had gone off to tell mr. aizawa what was going on. your teacher nodded, understandingly. 
there were a few worried glances and offers for help in the hall, but you’d neglected them all and found yourself relieved to see recovery girl in her office, typing away. 
she turned as the door opened. “please knock beforehand next time—oh, dear. y/n? are you alright?” 
you gave a tense nod. “mhm. just got a bit banged up in training today.” 
the old woman pursed her lips, smile lines becoming evident. “i see.” she led you to the small cot reserved for patients such as yourself and directed you to sit down. 
she examined the bruise. “it’s fairly bad. what happened?” 
you made a gesture to the door. “i was brawling with bakugou and things got...intense.” 
“that boy has quite an extreme side to him, as i’ve come to notice.” 
“mhm,” you agreed. 
“unfortunately, y/n, i have no ointments to be able to treat this properly.” 
you nodded sheepishly before the old woman smooched your cheek. a soft green glow radiated around you. 
when she pulled back, she said, “now, your body will be trying to catch up on the healing process. that’s what my quirk does. speed up recoveries. since it’s sped up, you’ll require some rest, preferably sleep. i’ll make sure your teachers know you’re excused for the rest of the day, sound good?” 
“yes, thank you recovery girl.” 
she pushed herself out of her rolling chair and left the room, smiling at you.
your eyes fluttered shut not long after that. 
the sun was gone when you woke up, the hallway light flickering off. 
“good, you’re awake.” 
you looked to the left. you cried out, gathering the white sheets around yourself despite being completely clothed. “bakugou! what the hell? you stalker! you creep!” 
bakugou took the slap you gave him on his arm. it was light, and didn’t do much damage. 
“what...what do you want?” 
even in the dark, you could tell bakugou’s cheeks were burning red. “about...about the other day. i wanted to talk to you about it.” 
your chest fluttered in unwanted hope. “there’s nothing to talk about.” 
“dammit, y/n, i wish there wasn’t anything to talk about. you’re insufferable and annoying and i can’t stand being around you because no matter what’s going on, you make my chest feel all funny. it’s stupid, and i can’t take my eyes off of you.” 
heat rushed to your cheeks. “i’m flattered, really. but i-” 
“i’m not asking you to reciprocate my shitty feelings. if anything, it’s better if you don’t.” 
“bakugou, i wasn’t...” you paused. 
“you what?” he snapped, voice soft despite his tone. 
“i was going to say that ever since you...ever since you asked me out, i’ve been conflicted about my own feelings.” 
“the hell is that supposed to mean?” 
“i’m not sure if i like you back or not, bakugou. but hearing you say all this...makes me want to give it a shot. sort of. also, why the hell are you watching me sleep?” 
bakugou swept hair from his eyes. “don’t go and try to change the subject on me, dumbass.” 
you gulped. 
“so what’re you saying?” 
“i’m saying,” you started, “i’m saying that maybe i want to go out on that date with you.” 
“say it again.” 
“what?” you looked up, his eyes boring into yours. 
“i said i want you to say it again. tell me you want to go out on a date with me.” 
it startled you how sure he was when he knew what you wanted, too. this was unlike the last attempt to ask you out. 
“katsuki bakugou, i want to go on a date with you.” 
he grinned. “where to?”
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doublebill · 3 years
Text
Suptober 2021 Day 3: Rainbows
"There are a lot of rainbow flags and signs here." Jack pointed out as they drove through Kansas City.
They had the windows rolled down in the heat. It was a weekend in late August, they were heading back to Lebanon and decided to come via KC to pick up some supplies it was harder to find locally. Dean was regretting it now as they crawled through the packed street at a snail's pace. People were wandering everywhere, every parking space was filled.
"Oh, it's Pride weekend here. It's a time for LGBTQIA people and their allies to come together and show pride and solidarity with their community." Sam explained.
"What's LBTQA?" Jack said, his head practically hanging out of the window as he looked around at the colorful display.
"Gay people." Dean piped up from the driver's seat.
"It's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, and Asexual." Sam said, pointedly. "As a community, they've long been discriminated against and this is a time they can all come together to show that they have pride in who they are."
"Something you wanna tell me, Sammy?" Dean snarked. Sam ignored him.
"I don't know what those things are." Jack said, sitting himself back down."
The Impala had slowed to a crawl as a large group of scantily clad people, crossed the road in front of them.
"It's to do with sexuality and gender identity." Cas said from the seat next to him. Sam continued:
"Lesbians are women who love other women, like Charlie, and Claire, and Kaia. Gay means men who love other men..."
"Like Cas and Dean!" Jack gleefully interrupted.
The car fell silent. It wasn't something that had really been discussed openly among the group since Cas had returned from the Empty. The silence stretched, becoming uncomfortable, when Dean finally spoke up.
"Yeah, kid. Like me and your dad. Although technically I think I'm one of the Bs"
Cas leant over to Jack and whispered.
"That's bisexual, which means that he likes women as well."
"Thank you Mr Wikipedia." Dean said, but there was no bite to it.
A pickup pulled out of a parking space just ahead of them and Dean wasted no time turning the Impala into the vacant space and killing the engine.
"Well, come on. We might as well go see what all the fuss is about."
From the sound of it, the main parade wasn't far away. They headed towards the noise and the music. Jack enjoyed himself, immensely. He was so busy gathering every flag, lanyard, and colorful piece of tat being given out on the street that neither he nor Sam noticed as Dean took Cas' hand in his, threading their fingers together.
It wasn't Dean's scene, it never would be, but there was enough going on around him that he didn't feel too self-conscious. He was a work in progress, but he loved Cas and he didn't want anyone to think he wasn't proud to be with him. They watched as people marched, banners flying high. Floats passed along the street, throwing out baubles. Jack insisted on having his picture taken with half of the people they saw. It was a good time, and no one batted an eye at two men walking along quietly, hand in hand.
***
It wasn't until several weeks later, that Dean saw the picture. Jack was going through the stack of photos he'd gotten Sam to print out. There was Jack surrounded by drag queens, Jack with a lesbian biker group, Jack covered with glitter and strings of beads. There was also one photo of Dean and Cas together, sharing a gentle kiss beneath a rainbow banner. The picture made him feel warm and kind of glowy inside. From then on, he didn't worry about what people might think when they looked at him and Cas together. Dean was proud.
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Text
Evidence
Fandom: Chicago PD / One Chicago
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader
Warning/s: shooting
Word Count: 1,615
Request:  Hi ! Can you do a jay halstead × reader where jay and y/n are dating secretly but one night jay left a hickey on y/n necks and on the next day y/n try to cover it up before work but can't and the rest of the intelligence team spot it and jay blush but she makes up a story but the intelligence team know and y/n and jay come clean and tell the rest of the team they are together ❤ thank you
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All in all, you thought you’d done pretty well, giving your neck one last look in your rearview mirror before turning on the ignition and heading to the 21st. 
Jay had left your place early, neither of you arriving at work at the same time so as to not raise suspicions, so he’d been heading out the door when you’d finally gotten out of bed, already driving away by the time you spotted the hickey on your neck in your bedroom mirror. 
You were not impressed to say the least, what part of a secret relationship had escaped his mind? With an annoyed groan you got to work covering it up the best you could, applying foundation more skillfully than you’d expected as you got ready for work.
There would be time for words later. 
You were still driving in when the call came over the radio, shooting nearby your location with officers in need of backup, one down. Quickly throwing on your lights you expertly did a u-turn and headed back up the street you’d just passed, noticing people running for covering in the opposite direction to where you were going, frightened with their heads down.
It didn’t take long to stop the suspect, mask over his head and gun waving about in his hands as he shot behind him with reckless abandon at the uniformed officer in pursuit. 
Slamming on your brakes you dove out of your vehicle, gun out and ready to engage. “Hey!” You called, diverting his attention from the other officers as his gun swung in your direction, diving behind a nearby car just as the bullets began to fly. 
You poked your head up after a moment, getting off a shot before he realised the odds weren’t in his favour and took off into the garden of the car behind him. Cursing you slid over the bonnet of the car you were behind. 
“I’ll get him, you get your partner!” You told the officer, who nodded gratefully and ran back to his fallen colleague, his led badly bleeding.
“This is 50 21 Foxtrot responding to the 10 1 on West 47th, I’m on the tail of an armed offender fleeing the scene of the shooting making his way South-” you paused, a little breathless as you hopped a fence and quickly dived to the side, narrowly avoiding another bullet as the offender kept running. You gave your most apologetic look to the women screaming in the garden you’d just entered but kept going, you couldn’t stop now - “through the neighbouring gardens, we should be coming out onto West 48th soon.” 
The sound of cars was getting louder as you ran, a tall fence looking like it separated the two of you and the main road as the offender opened for a narrow side path out onto the street. 
You were gaining on him fast as he tried to climb over it, grabbing his coat and pulling him down. His gun fell from his hand and you kicked it away as he scrambled after it, punching him hard in the jaw as he turned back to lash out at you.
“Stay down,” you ordered breathlessly, gun out and aimed square in his direction as the gate opened behind you, back up coming through. “You have the right to remain silent...” you relayed, getting out a pair of cuffs as you read him his rights and passed him off to the unis to bring back to the 21st in their squad car.
And then you were off to work.
-
“Hell of a morning,” Trudy commented as soon as you eventually stepped into the district, pushing her glasses up onto her head as you approached, an eyebrow going up as you reached the desk, “in more than one way I see.”
Your brow creased, “pardon?” You asked, unsure of what she was suggesting with her tone.
“My mistake, you must have got that bruise during the chase,” Trudy said sarcastically, gesturing to her own neck. Your eyes went a little wide, your hand going to where you’d spent way too much of your morning covering up the hickey Jay had given you. 
“Of course,” you hummed unconvincingly, rushing to the bathroom as Trudy laughed. All that effort to cover it up and your sweat had washed it away, hopefully you could cover it up again before anyone wondered why you weren’t upstairs yet.
Barging into the bathroom you riffled through your bag for the foundation you’d brought, just in case you’d needed to touch it up throughout the day, but in all the excitement of the morning you’d forgotten all about it. Oops.
You were putting the finishing touches on covering it up when the door swung open again, too late to hide what you were doing as you found yourself face to face with Burgess. 
“Voight’s looking for you upstairs,” she relayed, clearly amused as you hurriedly shoved your things back into your bag, embarrassed at being caught red-handed. 
You were going to kill Jay.
She didn’t say anything on the walk up the stairs, but you avoid her eye guiltily as she buzzed you both up and you made your way to the bull pen.
“Took you long enough,” Adam commented when you both emerged, a coffee in his hand as he leaned against the breakroom door. 
“Yeah, sorry, Y/N was busy covering up a hickey in the bathroom,” Burgess replied non-chalantly, much to your emence embarrassment. Kev snorted out a laugh and Jay choked on his drink as you tried not to meet his eye. 
“Was she now?” Hailey laughed, the others clearly enjoying how flustered you were getting. 
“I er- no- it was during the call this morning-” you tried and failed to sound believable as the others laughed more, Adam being the first to notice how red Jay had gotten since the converation began.
“No one’s buying that Y/N,” Kim informed you as Adam clapped Jay on the shoulder. 
“Well that’s interesting,” he commented, watching the way Jay awkwardly cleared his throat, not daring to look at you. The others picked up on it too, the both of you looking very guilty in a room full of trained detectives. 
“Got something to share there Halstead?” Kev asked, Jay finally looking at you with apology in his eyes as he finally saw the pourly applied foundation covering the very visible hickey he’d left.
You both hesitated before answering - was there really any use hiding it anymore? A room full of your closest friends who also happened to be detectives weren’t exactly going to drop the subject, or believe whateve bs you gave them in the moment.
Sharing a mutual resigned nod Jay rubbed the back of his neck, sitting up straighter in his chair. “Okay, well, we’ve kind of...”
“...being seeing each other,” you finished for him, realising he was unsure how to put into words exactly what you’d both been doing. If you were honest, you didn’t know exactly what this was either, you hadn’t discussed labels, but you both had feelings for each other, that much you knew for sure. 
“For how long?” Hailey asked, looking at her partner with slightly narrowed eyes, wondering how long he’d been keeping this from her more than anything.
“A couple months,” Jay said, glancing back up at you with a little smile.
“Months?” Adam was shocked you’d both managed to keep this a secret from them for so long, “and this is the first we’re hearing about it?”
“Well, we didn’t want to get our wires crossed,” you shrugged, gesturing to try and get your point across, “we work together.” That had been one of the first things you’d talked about the first time you’d spent the night together, keeping your personal and professional lives as separate as you could. 
“Yes, you do,” you heard your Sergeant say, jumping as Voight emerged from his office, leaning against the door frame with his arms folded. Uh-oh. “Is this going to get in the way of doing your job?”
You swallowed and shook your head, “no, sir.”
“We’re good Sarge,” Jay said at the same time.
All the teasing and joking smiles from the unit had vanished, waiting for Voight’s reaction with bated breath as he mulled it over in his head. 
“Good,” he nodded, much to your relief, though you knew the conversation was far from over, “because we’ve got a case to get back to.”
He was right, this was work, there’d be time to think and talk about this more later - right now you had a dead city official and a cop in the hospital.
Burgess winked at you as you made your way to your desk, picking up a scrunched up piece of paper you had lying around and throwing at her once Voight’s back is turned. He paused, shaking his head, but didn’t turn back around as he went back to his desk. 
You rolled your eyes at her and settled into your chair, knowing you had a report to write up about this morning’s incident, your perp down in holding at that very moment. 
Still, you couldn’t help but look over at Jay, who was looking right back at you, offering you a small smile which you returned in kind. Voight wasn’t the only one who’d want to finish this conversation later, you and Jay had a lot to talk about now too, given that everything was out in the open. 
Still, as you turned back to your desk and tried to focus on the task at hand, you couldn’t help but feel like everything was going to turn out okay.
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sour-n-salty-citrus · 3 years
Note
Do you have any hopes for the season finale? I saw in another ask, you described the dynamic between rick and morty this season as "very weak, distant, and downright frankly boring" and I completely agree with you! I hope that, because this is most we'll see rick and morty interacting this season, it'll have at least a few moments of what makes their dynamic so interesting to watch.
(Ok i started airing my grievances with this season, which ended up being... long, so skip this paragraph (starting at / / /) to get to my thoughts on the finale)
Oh gosh I remember that ask (I think-). And yeah, maybe I'm being a bit overly critical. I'll probably look back on this season with retrospect, and a kinder, fonder view. Ik androgynousblackbox (think thats right) made a great point about it being the season FOR rickorty shippers. And sure, I agree on some bits, like Rick acting all pissy and partying the way you would if your ex got with someone new in the planetina ep. Overall though, i think my problem lies in that I was enjoying more individual moments than episodes themselves, especially the middle three. For example- Amortycan Grickfitti. Like, I really liked the idea of the Ship getting on a crazy adventure with Summer and Morty (and Chutback). I like the idea of a Beth-Jerry-Rick adventure. But put together, it's just kinda... meh? You know? I liked the first half of the Thanksgiving special... but it kinda dragged on after that. I get that they want to give other characters (particularly female ones) more attention, which is completely understandable and i encourage it(!) but I can't help but find it underwhelming. Like, Summer in the voltron ep was like- girl how are you STILL vying for Rick's attention! He's the worst! Haven't we done this already? (I will say though I ADORE how far Beth has come, props to her for continuing to seeing through her dad's BS. I was worried the character would relapse into a more typical s1/s2 Beth, and I'm glad she didn't). Some of these plots, funnily enough, seem more fitting of the comics (they actually had a voltron parody already). Fun and entertaining for two or three-something issues, not so much a 22 minute episode. i think most of my complaints come from the dynamic between our titular characters- ok, I know I'm very biased (I mean you can see it), but I came to the show primarily for their relationship. It doesn't even feel drama-fueled, just that they kinda... can't be arsed. I'm torn because on the one hand, they're unhealthily codependent and this separation is probably a good thing, but on the other... it doesn't feel natural? I'm not sure if that's the right word- it's like, season 4 had them practically joint at the hip, but all that's suddenly flung out the window. It just kinda feels like this "i got better things to do" vibe from both of them and its strange. The only time they both got a solo adventure (I'm classifying "solo" as an adventure where they spent a significantly large portion of time together, without the other family members) was in the sperm ep and Thanksgiving ep. And, well, in the Thanksgiving ep Morty felt like a side character in his own show, and the sperm ep... um. Yeah. I don't think it's AS bad as people were saying, but I was cringing the whole time (the second hand embarrassment for Morty was so strong I had to turn off the episode multiple times and return to it. It's just like- godammit MORTY). And I think there's good reason those two seemed to be the most disliked episodes overall. They're the ones RaM spend the most time together and it's... meh. Meh? Meh. I don't mean to say the season overall is bad (it has loads of good points, and its amazing for Smith family as a whole) just that if we're talking specifically about the dynamic between these two? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a single episode from this season so far to use as an example of their relationship.
/ / /
There's one thing this season has been pretty good at, though. And it's showing us what happens when Rick is alone.
And that brings me to the finale.
"Who is Rick without Morty?"
Well... we already know the answer to that. Pathetic. Sad. Lonely.
This season has been phenomenal in humbling Rick. (And trust me I'm happy for it- every time someone beats the crap outta this shitty old man I'm like YES!!! IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES!). Ep 1 had his "nemesis" clearly besting him, ep 2 had Beth making constant digs (love her) and overall pointing out his extreme callousness and cruelty towards even himself(ves). Ep 3- when Morty shows interest in a girl and ditches him (like seriously it's not like he's moving out, chill) he immediately goes on a bender and develops a deep attachment to the first person he can (wearing yellow, funnily enough). Ep 4, he devotes himself to becoming an "honest man" for his new child, only for it to instantly be taken away from him. Ep 5 highlights how RICK is the asshole for making fun of and taking advantage of someone well-meaning and honest, if "simple", and how literally not cool that is. Ep 6 has his crazy rivalry with the president, and they both get smacked down a couple pegs for that. Ep 7 shows what happens when he allows himself to get carried away, and that he can end up driving everyone else away in the process (lucky they still wanted to save his ass when he needed them). And episode 8? Hooooo boy. Episode. 8. We see a direct parallel in Birdperson with Morty, and the whole "Rick and [insert] 100 years!" Rick has few people he cares about, arguably only one or two that he truly devotes himself to, but when he does, boy does he go HARD. We see younger Rick, optimistic, energetic, friendly and hopeful. And we see all of that crushed in minutes. Rick is desperate for a companion, someone to see the stars with. He needs someone there, someone he can trust and rely on to stay. Someone like Morty. So without Morty, who is Rick?
No one.
And the thing is, Morty doesn't need Rick anymore. Not like Rick needs him. In season 1, Morty was this bright-eyed kid who was new to the cosmos and the multiverse, who needed his grandpa there with him as they explored all these places together. But that's not him anymore. That's not them.
The promo has Morty using the portal gun to go somewhere w/o Rick's permission (i like to think it's boob world lol). It doesn't matter to me as much where he's going, as much as he's doing it alone. He doesn't just not need Rick there, he doesn't want him.
(Also correct me if im wrong but I've missed that sweet portal gun so much. I think the last ep was like- the first time this season we saw it).
Morty's response to Rick? "Replace me!". And wow. Wow. WOW. Morty doesn't give a FUCK! I think Rick thinks that because he's so smart, that he can offer so much, that Morty will come crawling back, and I don't think he will.
Hopes for the finale! Hmm. I mean, I definitely hope "evil" Morty makes a reappearance, haha. I think we all do tbh ;). I want to see some Morty development too, this season has been very Rick-centric (not that there's anything wrong with that!) so I wanna see what's in store for Our Boy. I really hope we get to see the Citadel again, and see the state it's in, but I doubt it. We know something super big is in store, it's just a question of what? Other hopes I have is some Summer + Beth action (please let them team up Im BEGGING) and Jerry too ahaha. I'd love if some other side characters made an appearance as well. Oh- I'm definitely expecting a dramatic cliffhanger at the end of the first half leading to the second half, with the kind of angsty music that leads into the credits (pls that shit is so good (OH WAIT imagine if it was like, for the damaged coda, but like- the chopin version or smth so it could be more subtle maybe bruhhhh)). Ok haha, maybe that's asking too much, the writers made it clear in the story train ep that they weren't gonna do that big dramatic showdown (... unless 👀). Oh, I'd also love some Premium Angst too, like someone getting kidnapped/nearly dying (like ACTUALLY nearly dying). These stakes better be so damn high I could spear a man on them! OH, also I remember androgynousblackbox (is that right? I hope it is) mentioned something along the lines that they could be driving Rick and Morty apart this season in order to have them come back together stronger than ever in an explosive finale, which, I'm strongly hoping for myself.
Thanks if you made it this far! If you have any thoughts on or hopes of your own for the finale please feel free to share! :D
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The Art of Inversion
Neil x Reader
Chapter 18 - Holy Ghost
Masterlist; Chapter 17
Summary: First few days in Tallinn are like a calm before the storm, while you and Neil are getting used your new dynamic. It proves to be rather surprising...
Warnings: 18+ (yep, she did it again because these two wanted to); swearing.
Author’s Notes: So ummm... I’m not sure what happened here and you’ll be the judges of that. All I can say is that I’ve been inspired by the skewed tie and that Tallinn will take at least two more chapters because they keep getting distracted. Hope you’ll enjoy! Feedback is always welcome as I’m not sure what I’m doing...🙈
The lovely edit has been provided by my amazing and talented friend @sh3tani​ (thanks for putting up with my bs 💕)
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Despite technically being a Tenet agent for a while, the dramatic changes of pace in your life never failed to amaze you. After that careless morning in London, mere hours later you got the text from TP, sending you and the Cavalry to Tallinn. Minutes afterwards, Neil burst into your room saying that the younger TP called, giving him directions to run a few lab tests and then to meet him in the capital of Estonia, as well. Neither of you had any clues as to why but then that was rather expected. 
That is how you found yourself in a safe house in the suburbs of Tallinn. For security and convenience, you have joined Ives’s squad there while Neil booked a hotel room nearby to keep up the appearances before TP. For the first few days, the boss has not yet arrived in the city, and therefore, as Neil put it, there was much more room to maneuver. Whatever that meant.
Estonian safe house was a relatively vast apartment on the ground floor of an old brick house. It had six bedrooms furnished with simple Ikea beds, bedside tables, and a small wardrobe. There was also one bathroom (hell of an inconvenience for nine people occupying the place) and a kitchen opening into a living room with sofas and tv. The space was nearly barren save for the objects needed to survive for however long you were bound to stay there. On the day of your arrival, Ives sent you and Wheeler to the shop for the supplies, reasoning being that apparently you two had most brain cells in the whole team. You enjoyed the possibility to charge your introvert batteries before days spent with eight people, of which only two you actually knew. With close to no information concerning the point of the mission, the days have been spent idly chatting, playing games, and watching television. In Estonian, naturally. For you, a crucial part of the survival became continuous reception and the ability to reach out to Neil when needed. Which was often and soon became a passing joke among the rest of the company. Once Henrik tried to steal your phone and ended up with a bread knife pressed against his neck, the innocent fun ended. That was on day two.
Luckily you got your own room, while the others were forced to share. This you owed to the fact that you were not part of the squad and hence had the right to privacy. It proved rather useful the day when unexpected company came. You were busy trying not to burn the scrambled eggs on a scratched-up pan, half humming a song you heard on the radio. Despite the early hour, everyone was up and either moving about or outside on a run. If there was anything you have learned from the experience so far, it was that Tenet soldiers started the day early and were shit at cooking. Eggs, instant noodles, and oven pizzas were the menu staples. Sighing, you picked up the only clean plate left when you heard a commotion in the hallway. Not long after, a voice called out:
“Y/N? You’ve got a visitor” you did not like the amused undertone in that information.
“Yeah…?” hesitantly, you stepped into the hallway.
The cheeky grin was quite the sight at 9 am.
“Good morning, sunshine” you resisted the urge to break the plate on Neil’s head.
At least he brought coffee.
“Hey,” warily you looked at Michael, who was loitering next to you, interested in the situation “Should we…?” looking at the door to your room, you met Neil’s gaze.
“Naturally” he smiled and followed you in.
Only once you closed the door behind you both, blocking out the curious stares, you breathed out the air you did not know you were holding. You set the plate on the bedside table and grinned as Neil carelessly threw himself onto your bed.
“Thought I’ll get a kiss or something for all that awkwardness out there” you commented, eyeing the man sprawled on your mattress.
Briefly, you marvelled at how you have managed to become this comfortable with each other. But then almost having sex was bound to count for something. Supposedly.
“You will if you come here” Neil raised his head and extended a hand in an invitation.
Mournfully you glanced at your abandoned breakfast and crossed the space, intertwining your fingers with his. You were not surprised when Neil pulled you down onto the bed, only just managing not to lie on him. Feigning disappointment, he huffed and leaned in, kissing you slowly. Deepening the kiss, you tangled your fingers in his hair, bringing him closer. With legs interlocked, half-lying on the narrow bed, it was all too real. In moments like this, it was easy to believe that maybe it was meant to be. Breaking up the kiss, you opened your eyes to stare at Neil. In the soft light coming through the opened shutters, you could clearly see the darker rims around his blue irises. In the morning, his eyes resembled the colour of an ocean. The long eyelashes framing the eyes and the eyebrows, furrowed in concentration, gazing back at you. Your eyes then landed on his parted mouth, the corners turned down slightly, and the shape of his lips. You wondered how someone this beautiful could choose you among all the people in the universe.
“Your breakfast and the coffee are getting cold” he murmured, breaking the comfortable silence.
“Do you want me to get up?” running your fingertips over his temple, you reveled in the intimacy of the moment.
Neil smiled and raised your joined hands to kiss your knuckles.
“Not really. I like having you this close so I can stare” he admitted with a sheepish grin.
“Same, actually,” you mirrored his expression, dragging fingers through the golden hair.
It seemed like your London evening full of important conversations gave you more confidence. Suddenly it was not that scary to share your thoughts and feelings with him because there was a chance he will understand. Or at least not ridicule you. As though Neil was reading your mind, he asked:
“What are you thinking about?” you could tell he was genuinely interested.
That was enough to make you feel a surge of feelings towards him. Maybe it won’t hurt to say something… Taking a deep breath, you warned:
“Just don’t laugh,”
“I’ll do my best” Neil bopped your nose quickly, making your brain short-circuit for a second.
What even. Focusing all your attention on him, your eyes wandered over his face. Resting on all the features that made him the man you loved.
“Sometimes I just can’t get over how beautiful you are… like a bloody masterpiece” you cupped his cheek “And I’ve no clue why you’re so fixed on me” sighing dejectedly, you awaited a response.
If the slightly widened eyes were any clue, he was surprised by your admission.
“That was probably the best compliment I’ve ever gotten” Neil stumbled over the sentence.
So, it was worth saying. For another time, you left the discussion on how that could even be true.
“Have you seen yourself though? How could I not be fixed on you?” it was Neil’s turn to cup your cheek, making you blush.
The pure confidence in his eyes was too much to bear at the moment. Sitting up, you kicked him lightly, enjoying the affronted look.
“Now you’re being ridiculous” you moved to stand up, but Neil took hold of your waist, sitting up as well.
You were too close again, noses brushing. It was easy to lean in and kiss him. Only when you did, a knock resounded in the room. Fucking hell.
“Can I come in?” the cockney accent was a giveaway “I bloody hope you two aren’t getting up to stuff”
Despite yourself, you giggled with your lips still brushing over Neil’s, making him sigh. For a millisecond, he tightened his grip over your waist and then let go and moved an inch away. You looked at him for permission before calling out:
“Be our guest”
In an attempt to look as casual as it was possible, you grabbed the plate with your cold eggs and passed Neil his coffee. Sitting back down on the bed, you pasted a neutral smile onto your face. As if that would divert anyone’s attention from your tangled hair and Neil’s flushed cheeks. Ives opened the door and scrutinized you both quickly, not missing how you frowned upon the first bite of your breakfast. Then he gave Neil a quick pat on the back:
“Good to see you, mate” he perched on the windowsill for the lack of any other furniture “I was hoping you’d at least come to say hi” he gave you both a knowing glance.
Cursing your own inability to say no to Neil, you grudgingly finished the eggs and took another sip of the lukewarm coffee. Next time, food first, then kissing. No matter how irresistible the bastard might be.
“I was planning to, only…” the bastard in question shrugged before glancing at you shortly.
“Oh, I know. Priorities and all that” Ives smirked upon your deepening blush “I get it, believe me. Plus, seeing how often Y/N is glued to her phone, I reckon you two are doing good” he winked.
Sensing Neil’s growing discomfort, you shot back:
“Don’t talk about me as though I wasn’t here” it was hard to look threatening when staring at someone like Ives, but you did your best.
“Or?” he arched his eyebrow amusedly.
“I’ll shoot you”
The sudden tense silence got interrupted by Neil breaking into a laugh, collapsing against you. So much for pretending you could keep away from each other. Once he calmed down, he rested his head on your shoulder and said:
“And that’s why I like you”
You did not know it was possible to blush even more. And yet. Even though what he said was hardly a surprise, he never mentioned anything like that with others present. Before you could come up with any response, Ives commented:
“Aren’t you two cute, eh?”
Lord give me strength…  
“Ives” you warned, reaching for the gun you always kept in the drawer by the bed.
He laughed and raised his hands in defence.
“Okay, I’ll stop now” he glanced at Neil, who was comfortable enough, still leaning on you “Has he given you any more clues?”
You relaxed once the conversation steered onto more professional tracks.
“Not really. I ran the analysis on the gold bar he sent, and well, there’s literally nothing concrete there” Neil shrugged, “But I think it has something to do with the plutonium piece that went missing back in Kiev” he added.
“Is that part of the Algorithm?” you asked.
The topic has not really come up since your first conversation with TP in Boston, but from the information you got from Neil and others in the organisation, it seemed like the pieces were set in motion. In the Kiev Opera, another part of the compound has been lost. Maybe its purpose was to resurface in Tallinn so that you could take over.
“Yeah” Neil confirmed your suspicions with a curt nod.
“How… how do you know about this?” it was Ives’ turn to be confused, looking at you with palpable shock in his eyes.
Right… Sometimes it was hard to keep track of who knew what and why. And that was one of such moments. Straightening your back, you explained:
“TP told me. Apparently, I’ll have a role to play hence why I’m being dragged into this” glancing at Neil, who all of sudden looked rather sombre, you added, “Not only because of this idiot” giving in to the temptation, you ruffled his hair.
“…thanks” pouting, Neil moved away.
“Welcome” 
*** You have left the apartment and quickly checked the maps again. Neil set your meeting for a rather obscure park square in the downtown area of the city since that was where he was supposed to meet TP later. At first, you wanted to refuse, to tell him that it was risky to go for a walk with the boss nearby. But then, you knew there was not much point in saying no to something that tempting. It was enough that you might not be able to spend time together at all the next few days.
Just when you were sure you have gotten lost in the greyness of the apartment blocks and identical streets, you spotted him waiting on the bench. The icy wind was ruffling his hair as Neil stared at the pavement, unaware of your attention. You smiled at the sight of his brown and green outfit and those strange shoes; you have seen the brogues before in Oslo. Now that was something worth a call out later. Ending the scrutiny, you approached him and, as a means of greeting, brushed the hair away from his forehead. That worked, as it always did. The blue eyes snapped up to meet yours:
“Hello” you offered him a small smile.
“Tere, kallis” the grin combined with the strange words he uttered made you frown.
“I hope that was something appropriate”
He took your hand in his and pulled you down onto his lap. The happy sparks in his eyes were almost enough to make you ignore the cold and the embarrassment of the situation.
“I thought you said we’re going for a walk” forcing a stern tone was difficult with how Neil gently cupped your flushed cheek.
“That we are. But first, I wanted to get you up close and personal” he brushed his nose against yours tenderly.
“I see…” with the corner of your eye you could see an older woman observing you from the nearby bench.
With a start, you realised how very much alike a couple you must look to any passerby. Sitting on Neil’s lap, with his arm securing you around the waist and your faces inches away, there were no questions about the nature of your relationship. But, somehow, that was okay. A stronger gust of wind made you shiver, which he noticed straight away and pulled you even closer, your lips nearly touching. The blue of his irises and the depth of focus in them made you gasp. It was always like this with him, as though you were the only person in the universe that mattered.
“We’ll get going now, only…” Neil met your gaze with a silent question.
You nodded. He could do anything he wanted anyway. He met your lips in a slow kiss, relishing in the feeling for at least half a minute. You placed your hand on the back of his neck to bring him a little closer, suddenly grateful for the position he put you in. Then, just as the kiss threatened to get more heated, Neil broke the contact and leaned back, taking in your dazed expression. He always knew how to get to you.
“Now we can go” he smirked, and you had no choice but to slide off his lap.
As soon as you were both standing, Neil grabbed your hand again and intertwined your fingers. As usual. It did seem like neither of you wanted to pretend today, and instead letting yourselves explore the ‘not-quite relationship’ you got into. For once, the voices in your head were silent, seemingly agreeing to the new developments. You did wonder how long that was bound to last.
“Ives says hi, by the way,” you broke the silence, looking around the cityscape.
This part of Tallinn certainly was not as picturesque as the city centre, but it had to do. After all, your sole focus was Neil. Not much else mattered when you were together. If that did not confirm your feelings, then god knows what did. Sighing, you turned to look at the man in question.
“You told him we’re meeting up?” he asked with a slight crease between his eyebrows.
Confusion, then.
“No. I just said that I’m going out for a walk, and he told me to say hi to you” laughing at the idiocy of the moment you brushed your thumb over his knuckles.
In response, you got the signature Neil grin that was the beginning of your downfall all those months previously. Despite the absolute horror you felt during the initial conversation with Ives, now it was somehow less terrifying.
“Ah, I see” his tongue clicked thoughtfully, only making you laugh harder.
It was difficult to get the next sentence out.
“He also added that he’s surprised he’s not yet caught you sneaking out of my room at night”
The small snorting sound Neil let out made you want to kiss him right there, in the middle of the busy street.
“Why do I feel like he wants it to happen” he glanced at you quickly with an amused expression.
“Maybe it’s his thing” you retorted, savoring the laugh it prompted from your companion.
After that first morning in the safehouse, you have both decided to try and keep away from any rash actions or decisions while in Estonia. You certainly had enough of interruptions, and with the team sharing the space, it was all too precarious. Hence you have been meeting up outside, for strolls or lunch, talking about everything and nothing. Only now, that TP was around, it was bound to change, and you expected that this might be the last of those stolen moments.
“I’m sorry that we had to meet around here today” Neil interrupted your slightly melancholic thoughts “I wanted to take you out somewhere again, but he called, and I think it will be on soon” he lowered his voice to a slightly conspicuous tone, making you smile.
“It’s okay, at least that means I’ll know why the fuck am I even here” shrugging, you looked around at the shops you have passed by.
“For me?” Neil batted his eyelashes innocently while tightening his hold over your hand.
“Apart from that” this time you allowed him honesty “Don’t you ever get tired though? Of me?” the self-sabotaging voice contributed a question.
It was too late to take it back. But the way Neil looked at you then, with disbelief and fondness, was enough to excuse the moment on insecurity.
He stopped walking, making you freeze despite the streams of people going in both directions. You were like an island amidst a fast-flowing river. Neil forced you to meet his gaze by tilting your chin upwards. There was nothing playful in his eyes, just sincerity and love. And determination.
“Do you need me to remind you why that’s impossible?” you did not know when did his voice become so husky.
“Maybe” biting your lip, you searched his face, fascinated and curious.
Neil glanced at the teeth nibbling on your lower lip, and his tongue darted out, seemingly on reflex. Oh. When his eyes met yours again, you could see a hint of a new emotion there. He was hesitating for approximately 10 seconds before he started leading you again with purpose. Before you could ask a single question, he turned sharply into a non-descript alley between two crumbling buildings. It was empty save for a few pieces of trash lying around and a rusted door at the other end, with a metal padlock and a heavy chain. But your quick scan of the environment got interrupted by Neil wrapping his arm around your waist and pushing you at one of the walls. Just before your head could hit the bricks, he cradled the back of it, providing a safeguard. Ever so thoughtful. Wide-eyed, you glanced up at him to gauge the intention. The darkness and resolve you found were enough of an indicator.
“The walk will have to wait” he spoke before crashing his lips against yours.
The instinct kicked in instantaneously, making you respond by bringing him closer with your hand taking hold of his tie. Kissing Neil was like a fix for an addiction you did not want to fight against. No matter how urgent it was, you could always find a tempo that suited you both, neither fighting for dominance. It was like a dance where both were willing to lead and follow. Neil bit into your lower lip, drawing blood, tinting the kiss with that coppery taste. Fuck. You gasped into his mouth, shivering when his tongue ran along the split, licking off the droplets. It was enough to make you want more. As a payback, you caught his upper lip with your teeth, tugging at it lightly to remind him of the potential. But only when you pulled on his tie sharply, making Neil almost collapse against you, he broke the kiss with a groan. His eyes were hazed with lust, making you lightheaded the more you kept on gazing. The bloody shade of red on his lips made your pulse quicken. You still kept the hold on his patterned tie, making sure he was within your reach. His tongue darted out and licked off the remains of blood. That was a good cue to sober up. You released his tie and placed your hand over his heart, relishing in the way he was looking at you, as though you were a sight he could never have enough of.
“Huh…” you broke the silence and glanced at the entryway to the alley.
Thankfully no spectators.
“Is this all you’re going to say?” Neil’s perplexed facial expression made you laugh.
Sometimes it was fascinating to see him that disoriented after a kiss. Because it was a clear sign that not only you were affected by everything that transpired. Another reason to believe that maybe the feeling was mutual. Calming down, you started toying with his shirt collar. Even though heated kisses in dirty alleys were never your kind of thing, with Neil that too was exciting. And something you wanted to repeat.
“I mean… this is rather nice” you met his confused gaze and added, “Being with you like this”
Coherence for more complex sentences was nowhere to be found.
“I’m glad because I wanted that last hour of normalcy before we go back to the usual” Neil staggered over the sentence as well, making your heart stumble with fondness.
Pouring the feeling into your gaze, you grinned at him, running your hands over his shirt and lapels. You knew exactly what he meant. But still, with tongue poking out, you noticed:
“That sentence didn’t make sense, and yet I agree” the way his eyes darted onto your lips was enough to cause a resurgence amidst the butterflies.
Neil leaned in again, eager for another kiss. But you had other ideas, struck with the courage to tease him a little. You dropped your head and kicked him in the foot lightly. Just enough to bring his attention onto the subject of your scrutiny.
“The hell are those shoes though” you smirked upon his utterly lost gaze.
“What? You don’t like them?” the slight pout only made your grin wider.
With the hair in disarray, reddened cheeks, and pink lips, he was more than a sight to behold. And all that because of you. Wow.
“They look a little like you wanted to channel Pennywise or something” you laughed at his blank stare “Remind me to go through your wardrobe one day because you’re selling yourself short with those fashion choices” to emphasize the point you tugged on his tie again and frowned.
But it seemed like Neil managed to recover enough. He placed both of his hands on the wall, blocking your way out. The well-known smirk came back too. You had a feeling that you were about to lose this one battle.
“And yet here you are” he practically purred with a hungry look in his eyes.
You swallowed. Whenever he got like this, showing how much he wanted you, it was hard to think. Raking your head for a response, you settled on honesty again.
“That’s because I admire your soul” eyeing him intently, you added “And hair”
You tugged on the golden strands, making him whine in frustration. Good.
“And eyes” he met your gaze purposefully, a hint of a knowing smile on his face.
Of course, he’d know.
“Yeah” you raised your head.
A challenge he took without hesitation. Neil reached for the scarf wrapped around your neck and loosened it just enough to have access. Before you could do as much as exhale, his lips were on your neck and throat, attacking all the spots that were bound to make you gasp and search for something to hold on to. Cursing, you closed your eyes, letting yourself block everything that was not Neil and his touch. Soon his hands joined in with the exploration, brushing over your body, slipping inside the opened coat and underneath your blouse. Any resistance you might have had was slowly breaking. Blindly, you found his tie again and started to work on undoing the knot with shaking hands. Once you loosened it and undid the first three buttons, you slipped your hand underneath his shirt. You did not even know what you wanted to do. He was there, yours and in reach. That was enough to cause urgency. But any intent you might have had disappeared when Neil finished his study with a harsh bite over your collarbone.
“Jesus Christ…” you huffed and pulled him closer with a finger around his belt loop.
As his hips met yours, he raised his head and met your gaze shamelessly. Nothing but want and adoration. A sudden commotion on the street helped you remember the surroundings. Sighing, you pieced together a sentence:
“This is rather risky, don’t you think?” if anything, the unconscious way in which you bumped your hips against his again was a contradiction to the statement.
Your head was a mess. On one hand, wanting nothing but Neil, right here and now. On the other, doing anything like this in an alley spoke against the last bits of the reason you tried to preserve.
“Yes, but I quite enjoy the thrill” Neil brushed his hand over your stomach and smiled devilishly.
If your experience was anything to go by, and the way it felt when his crotch brushed over your hip, he too was rather invested. That thought gave you some needed courage to respond.
“You like being caught? Then I’m surprised you were so unsatisfied in Oslo” the cheeky smile and a quick touch of your hand over the front of his pants did it.
Neil swallowed hard and took additional few seconds to find words.
“More than being caught I like you. And everything we do... or could do” experimentally, he traced his finger along the line of your belt.
The goosebumps and rising tension within your core were good enough clues towards your feelings on the matter.
“Like what?” the breathlessness of your voice made you frown.
“Like this” in one swift motion, Neil undid the buckle.
Shit. That was enough to raise concern. You wanted him, urgently, but…
“Neil... do you seriously think fucking in an alley is a good idea?” you did know where that word came from, but it was pretty spot on.
“First of all, we’re not fucking. This isn’t that primal” for some reason the way he pronounced it only made matters worse, as did that smirk “Unless one day you feel like it and-” oh hell.
You placed one hand over his mouth, shutting him up, the other ventured into the pocket of your coat, where you always had the small hunting knife hidden.
“I’m going to stab you. Here they won’t find you for days” aiming for a threatening tone, you raised the hand from his mouth.
But not before he somehow managed to kiss your fingers. His eyes were dark, determined to make you break any internal rules you could have.
“Wow, you really have it bad for me” Neil whispered, getting ever closer, ignoring your threats.
Too lost in the strange conversation you have not even realised when he managed to unzip your jeans. Only once you felt his hand slipping between your thighs, you huffed with frustration. Thinking on reasons against letting him do it was getting increasingly harder.
“Neil” was the only warning you could manage.
All thoughts disappeared when he palmed you through the underwear. Searching for support, you put your hands on his shoulders.
“I just want to check if you’re still interested... still so eager,” the satisfied grin told you that it felt just as bad as you expected.
Like this, with him having direct access to check what was working for you, there was nowhere to hide. Once again, he managed to bring you to such a state with worrying ease. His whole body was pressing against yours, with one hand teasing you through the thin layer of clothing. The other has somehow managed to wrap around your throat. Not strong enough to apply pressure, but at the same time making you face him. And increasing the need you felt.
“You’re a bastard” the insult got muddled by the longing you could not hide from your gaze.
Neil caught it, grinning mischievously. The game was on.
“Well... it takes two and all that” he feigned nonchalance, arching an eyebrow.
You knew full well what he was implying. You could practically feel how drenched with arousal you were. Your underwear was wet to touch, thighs clenching around Neil’s hand. That was his cue to keep your legs parted by inserting his knee between them. Here we go again. You wanted him to do something. Anything. But he was resolved to keep you waiting, thinking about all the different ways to make the situation even more unbearable for you. To make you beg for whatever he was willing to give. Your futile attempt to grind on his thigh got stopped with a stronger grip around your throat and a glimpse of something darker in his eyes. You had enough.
“Why are you doing this?” the hoarse tone of your voice was rather shameful.
“Because I know that you actually enjoy it” Neil shrugged and met your gaze with playful sparks in the blue eyes.
You did not want to know how obvious it must have been for him. Then, he slowly stroked you there, earning a muffled curse.
“I would if you finished it for once” you breathed, letting the frustration take over.
The ache between your legs was nearly driving you over the edge now. It was too much. Neil was too close, and yet not close enough.
“I’m giving you food for thought, so to speak” he murmured.
His hand moved; thumb tentatively hooked around the hem of your panties. An offer to take it a step further any second now.
“That you are” you met his gaze defiantly.
If he was so determined to make you suffer, you might as well give him what he wanted.
“Have you been... dreaming about this?” Neil glanced down at where his fingers were getting closer to where you needed him most.
As though he needed to ask. Of course, you have thought about this scenario before. And many others too. After all, you had to somehow deal with those countless times when his pure existence frustrated you in every meaning of the word.
“Mhmm” you hummed, hoping that will be enough of a response.
The smirk was a reward.
“Good”
Unable to withstand the tension any longer, you kissed him hungrily, taking everything you could have. Soon enough, you were both gasping for breath, yet you did not want to let go. Biting, sucking, and nibbling on every part of his mouth available, he was your drug. With his hand still in a loose chokehold and the other so close to your pulsating core, Neil became the sole reason for your existence. Your knees buckled when he sharply tugged at your panties and touched you without the barrier of the undergarment. You broke the kiss and met his wild gaze, both shocked by the sheer pull between you. Only once he drew a finger between your folds, collecting some of the wetness, the moment got interrupted by Neil’s raspy chuckle.
“It’s quite flattering to see you like this and all because of me” you were not sure if you wanted to slap him or kiss him.
But then that was a usual thing with Neil.
“Just don’t get cocky…” it was hard to put together a string of words.
“Or?” his thumb touched your clit, and you hissed sharply “I already know how I’m making you feel”
To prove a point, he drew another gasp from you by starting a circular stimulation of the sensitive nub. You whimpered, suddenly aware of what a sight you must be for him. Utterly ruined because of kisses, touches, and words. You hated being at anyone’s mercy like this.
“Neil…” a weak plea made him meet your gaze “Please just…” helplessly, you tried to convey everything through the expression in your eyes.
He searched your face before letting go of your throat and instead cupping your cheek tenderly. The juxtaposition was enough to make your head spin.
“What do you want?” it was that question again.
Simple and yet not at all. Awaiting the response, Neil stopped all the movement, increasing your frustration and need. You knew that there was no way you could ever walk away from this as though nothing happened. You might as well have some relief.
“Help me before I lose my fucking mind” you breathed out, expecting the smug smile.
Instead, you got the most sickening grin you have ever seen on his face. But combined with the adoration in his eyes, you knew it was exactly what he wanted to hear from you.
“With pleasure” the words rolled off his tongue, and before you could prepare, he went back to stimulating your clit.
Your head almost slammed onto the wall behind when he picked up the pace. Even though you both knew that you hardly needed any additional preparation, Neil took his time, never taking his gaze off you. At the edges of your consciousness, you could feel the rising shame that was bound to consume you later. After all, this was the second time that you have asked him to help you like this. Surely, he would soon get tired of having to deal with your issues and never getting anything in return. But before you could follow that train of thought, Neil inserted a finger, and an unwanted cry rose in your throat.
“Jesus…” to stop yourself from being too vocal, you bit down harshly on your lip, bursting the barely sealed cut.
But Neil tilted your chin, meeting your gaze again.
“No need for that” he caught your lips in a short kiss “Don’t hold back”
Readjusting your hold on one of his shoulders, with the other hand you tugged on the tie you have messed up earlier. He took that as a cue to insert another digit. Too much.
“Christ, Neil” the breathless tone was a revelation even to you “You’re…” unable to finish the sentence, you moaned quietly.
Neil had no issues finding the perfect spot again, making you squirm and roll your hips, grinding down on that conveniently placed thigh. He thought of everything, it seemed. You did wonder how many times before he brought people to their downfall with those hands alone. But then, you would be lying if you would not admit that he had rather nice hands. And that you have not thought about this before Oslo.
“Glad it’s working, love” he commented upon a louder gasp from you.
For some reason, the nickname acted like a trigger. Feeling a surge of frustration, you bucked your hips against his, needing more.
“Don’t call me that” you spit the words out, relishing in the look of surprise in his eyes.
But he only needed a moment to shake it off before picking up the pace and curling his fingers inside you. Now it was close.
“What then?” Neil searched your eyes intently as though he was doing anything else but taking you apart with his two fingers and a thumb.
In response, you could only shudder, feeling your muscles tense in the anticipation of the near end.
“My love?” the proposition broke through the haze overwhelming your mind.
My god. Only with him, those two simple words could cause such an onslaught of feelings. There was something so achingly tender in his gaze that no matter the situation, your heart was set ablaze. He looked as though he was relieved to finally use those words. Suddenly, it was not just Neil lending you a helping hand in an hour of need. It was an act of love, further cementing your status as lovers. You were not sure whether it was that realization or what Neil has been doing to you that made the world explode before your eyes. Perhaps it was both. You only managed to breathe out a warning in the form of his name, but he understood.
“Look at me. I want to see what I did to you” he angled your chin again so you were forced to meet his gaze “So that I can remember this later” the husky whisper was the ultimate push over the edge.
Oh christ. You gripped his shoulder tightly and undid the tie, making it fall to the ground. Neil did not even notice, staring at you mesmerized. With the last bits of sanity, you took hold of his neck, bringing him close. The wave of pleasure made you tense up like a bowstring before you came with a shudder and a cry.
“Neil…” you got struck by the hope you saw in his eyes.
This time nothing was stopping you. No lips on yours to take over the words that were slowly choking you. The high he gave you took away all the inhibitions and worries. Neil was there, with you, a solid presence beneath your fingertips and an anchor to keep you from getting lost in your head. And that was enough.
“I love you” the three words were easy to utter for something you struggled to keep inside that long.
In response, Neil smiled and pressed his forehead against yours tenderly. The darkness in his eyes made way for pure happiness and conviction. Maybe this time it wasn’t a mistake.
“I know” he whispered and covered your lips in a sweet kiss.
Now that you were not holding back anything kissing Neil felt like absolution. You were never particularly religious, but he could be your eternal salvation, for the body and the soul. The only person you ever needed that much. 
Breaking the kiss with a sigh, Neil took a step back and retracted the hand that was still stroking your navel. You watched with a slight surprise as he glanced at a watch.
“Are you in a rush?” with cheeks burning, you took out a tissue and passed it to him.
He took it with a curt nod and cleaned his hand. As you observed him like that, with messed up hair, unbuttoned collar, and slightly flushed cheeks, the reality of the situation started dawning on you. Not only have you allowed Neil to finger you in a dirty alley, but also you have confessed your feelings in the heat of the moment. And yet, he was still there…
“Unfortunately, yes, the meeting is in ten, and I still have to get there” Neil picked up the tie from the ground and brushed off the dirt “Trust me, I’d love to continue with this…” carelessly he tied the knot and took a step closer again “But we should leave something for the future too” with playful sparks in his eyes he brushed the hair away from your eyes.
Oh my god.
“Can’t you for once… not do this” sighing heavily, you focused on readjusting the underwear and zipping up your pants.
Everything was better than looking into those blue eyes.
“Where would be the fun in that” Neil buckled your belt, just as quickly as he undid it previously “I must admit that after this, I’m curious to see how you’ll react once I do it properly one day… with my mouth and then…” he trailed off, fingers brushing over your stomach once again.
“Neil… don’t” using your own power, you brushed your hips over his “Or you won’t make it to that meeting” you glanced at his crotch knowingly.
“As tempting as that is… I’d rather not disappoint TP” with a final caress of your side, he took a step back again “Don’t worry about me though. I’ll deal with this later” he adjusted the trousers slightly “I’m used to it” the hint of a smile was enough to help you understand.
You gaped. It was hard to think straight again. Surely…not? Right?
“You- what? Because of me?” you stuttered, bewildered and perplexed.
“Yes, absolutely” Neil shrugged and attempted to smooth his hair “Pretty often, but then you’re quite the inspiration, my love” he winked, enjoying your sudden paralysis.
Now that sort of image was bound to keep you up at night. For some reason, you never thought that he would think about you like that, always assuming there were better fantasies to use in need. But maybe… maybe he had it just as bad as you did.
“I have to run” Neil kissed you on the cheek, bringing your mind back to the present moment.
“Does this… change anything?” you met his gaze, hoping he will catch on to the meaning.
“No, not at all” the soft smile contrasted the recent conversation tone “I’ll text you later”
“You better” you mirrored his smile, watching him disappear in the crowd.
Wow… Now that was an interesting walk. Sighing, you rested your head against the brick wall for a few minutes longer, trying to level your breathing.
*** You were not given much break from Neil that day. To clear your head, you went for a walk around the city centre, visiting curious shops, and spending time in a cosy café. Just anything that did not have to do with the blonde bastard was good enough to shut up your rebelling brain. After all, now he knew everything, and that was a dangerous situation. You did your best to ignore your phone for most of the day however when it buzzed on your way back to the apartment it was hard to resist checking. He did text just as promised:
“Did you miss me?” and then “I’ll have some news for you all later”
Maybe things, in fact, have not changed…
“Maybe a little” smiling, you keyed in the code to the door.
Inside, you quickly settled on the sofa with some indulgent crisps, about to tune into the team’s favourite Estonian soap ‘Õnne 13’, which you all watched every evening. It was terribly boring (especially when one did not understand a single word), and yet after a few days, you wanted nothing but to know what Alma will have for dinner that night. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The latest dose of drama from the shithole called Morna got interrupted by your phone ringing. Neil, of course. Ignoring the offended stares from the other eight people in the room, you picked up the phone:
“Hey”
“Evening, my love” you could hear how happy he was to use those words.
Your heart summersaulted, making you exhale.
“I like the sound of that” grinning you walked out into the corridor to hide from the curious looks.
“Me too. Is everyone there with you?” jumping straight into the business was probably good for you both.
“Yeah. You’ve interrupted our shitty soap” at your adjective, a choir of outraged voices rose in the living room.
“My bad. Can you put me on the speaker? I could give you a run over the plan”
“Of course,” you motioned for everyone to gather around the table and put your phone in the middle “You’re on”
“Okay, so basically TP wants to take over the plutonium piece that is being transported through Tallinn in three days on its way to a nuclear depot in Italy. The point is not to let it get into Sator’s hands who thinks we’re cooperating with him”
“How will it be transported?” Ives propped his chin on his hand, listening intently.
“Reinforced truck with police escort front and back. Tracked via GPS” leaning back in the chair, you listened to Neil’s voice “Any unplanned stop or different turn and in come the reinforcements”
“What’s his plan then?”
“I believe he wants to take it out on the move with the use of a fire truck. Among others”
The hint of a smile in that sentence made you comment:
“So, you’re not the only crazy one around” earning a few amused grins from the people around, you briefly felt victorious.
Briefly.
“Something tells me you’re into that. Judging by what you let me do to you in that alley”
Fuck. A sharp gasp you let out made everyone turn to look at you. Gripping the edge of the table, you wanted nothing but to disappear. Or die. All the blood drained from your face as you stammered.
“Neil- you-” there was not enough air in the room “I-”
Wheeler shot you a worried look after you let out a small choking sound and spoke:
“Anyway…  why are we needed?” the professional tone made everyone turn their attention back to the mission.
You had to thank her later for saving your dignity. And life.
“To be on hand if things get dirty. I’ll send you the brief now it lists the details of his plan” Neil resumed the topic as though nothing happened “Tomorrow, I’ll call to let you know what exactly I need. That’s it for tonight, enjoy your evening”
Before anyone could make a move, you snatched your phone from the table and muttered:
“You’re dead”
You ended the call and stormed off to your room, slamming the doors. You could not believe his audacity to say something like that with everyone on the receiving end. The bastard ought to pay for that. Unable to calm down, with hands shaking violently and your head in absolute disarray, you grabbed the coat and made beeline for the exit out of the flat. It was pretty late for a solitary walk, but you hardly had anything to lose. Before you could make a swift exit, Ives’ stopped you with a hand on the arm. You met his gaze with impatience:
“So… how was the alley?” while he kept his face straight, the amused tone was there.
Bloody men.
“Fuck off” you shook off his hand and opened the door “I’m going out, and hopefully I’ll get killed. Don’t wait up”
Before you slammed the door in his face, you heard the parting words:
“Have fun”
The cold Estonian breeze was a welcomed sensation for your tired and thoroughly pissed off mind. You put up the hood of your coat and wandered off into the night.
*** Unfortunately, no one was willing to kill you. Around 1 am, you grudgingly made your way back to the apartment, relieved when no one was around to corner you. Once you were safe in your locked bedroom, you took out the phone for the first time in three hours. Unsurprisingly there were two missed calls and three texts from Neil, plus one message from Wheeler. She was checking whether you were still alive, which was a rather touching gesture, and so you replied to her first. Then, sighing heavily, you went through the texts from Neil:
“I’m sorry” then “But I wasn’t entirely wrong, was I?” and finally, “Are you alright?”
That son of a bitch…
“You’re so going to pay for this” you typed back and lied down on the bed. He was quick to reply, which meant he stayed up. Potentially waiting for you to reach out. Talking about confusing signals…
“I was hoping you’d say that” you groaned.
“After that disaster of a meeting, I went for a walk. Found a perfect spot for murder in cold-blood. You won’t even know what hit you”
Maybe that will do the job.
“You did. Only a lot earlier than you think”
It didn’t. Sighing, you cursed your inability to leave him on read.
“I’ve had enough of you today, g’night”
“I seriously doubt that, but good night, darling” and then “I hope your dreams will be as good as our little moment”
That surge of frustration was only made worse when you found a stray short blonde hair on your blouse while changing for bed. The idiot not only had your heart, but everything else too, it seemed.
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mstrumpeter · 3 years
Text
And When He Smiles I Swear I Can’t Breathe
Alan Rubin x fem!Reader
Word count: 2,211
Fandom: Blues Brothers
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Blues Brothers characters or movies. This refers to Alan Rubin as a character in the movie, not the real Alan (although he obvsly played himself but you know what I mean)
I’d like to add that I made everyone of the band a few years younger (so the age gap between the reader and Alan isn’t that big), so he’s approx. in his early 30s.
Sophia, Lisa and Lex are two OCs created by two lovely people within the fandom.
Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse
Chapter IX
Alan watched Charlotte taking a bite from her fried eggs. “What?”, she murmured. “Are we gonna pretend nothing happened last night?”, Alan gave her serious look. The girl shrugged her shoulders. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” “Huh, is that supposed to make me laugh?”
 Charlotte didn’t look up. “Why were you at the rehearsal room?” “Where else should I have gone?” “Lisa? Sophia? Or here’s a funny idea, could have given me a call.” “Look, I prefer to go into seclusion when something’s wrong. I’m sorry but I don’t wanna bother anyone with my crap.” “And I’d prefer if you’d come to me, you ain’t bothering no one, alright?”, he said in a soft tone and stroke her cheek. “Does he hit your mum and sister, too?” “No.”, she shock her head but saw a questioning look in Alan’s eyes. “My parents had broken up before my mum found out she was pregnant with me. So for my sake they gave their relationship another shot and apparently it worked but for my father I’m still the unwanted child. And I guess by forcing me to do well, in College and life, I won’t’t be such a big disappointment for him.” “Meaning if you moved out your mum and sister wouldn’t be in danger?” “Believe my, I tried getting my own place but…” “You could live with me until you find your own flat.”, Alan looked at her with raised eye brows. “I can’t, I really can’t.” “Why not?” “Cos I don’t wanna drain on your pocket, that’s why.” “I don’t care. I want you out of there as soon as possible.” “I will figure something out, okay? Don’t wanna jump the gun.” “Jumping the gun? What are you waiting for, Charlotte?”, Alan asked concerned, irritated she didn’t wanna move out. “I will come up with something alright?!”, she said bugged. “Just think about my offer, you’re more than welcomed here.” 
A few days had passed and Charlotte still hadn’t figured out what to do. She came back from jogging, when she noticed a stranger’s car in their driveway. Her father’s office was being refurbished this week, so he met all his clientele at home, in his home office. She hurried down the hallway to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, not keen on being seen in her current shape, all sweaty and her face red like a tomato. When passing by she took a quick glance into her father’s office though and realised she knew the person a few moments later only, so she went back. “What are you doing here?” “Oh, hi!”, the person greeted her with a big, fake smile. “Are you one of Mr. Ellington’s precious daughters? I didn’t know that!” “No, I’m Mrs. Mop.”, Charlotte replied sarcastically. “You do look like her.” “What’s going on here?”, Frank said in a harsh tone and gave his daughter a push against her shoulder as he entered the room. “Be nice to Ms…? I’m awfully sorry, what was your name again?” “No harm done, Sir. My name’s Brooks. Lari Brooks.” “I apologise for my daughter Ms Brooks and also for this chaos. I should have been prepared more thoroughly for this week of Home Office. I left some of my notes in my car, I’ll be back in a moment… Charlotte, go and get us a coffee, won’t you?” “Frankly I’d like to take shower.” “Yeah, you can do that afterwards.” Charlotte closed her eyes and took a deep breath before facing Lari again. “Oh kiddy, milk and sugar for me please.” Ugh that creepy smile again. “Listen up, bitch!”, Charlotte leaned over the desk. “I don’t know what kind of ratty games you’re playing here, getting in touch with my father but stay the hell away from Alan! You heard me?” Lari started laughing, not the reaction Charlotte was hoping for. “You really think Alan is interested in you? He’s not the man for relationships but you’ll figure that out soon enough. Once he had his fun with you he’s gonna drop you like a bad habit.” Lari looked her up and down. “Tsk, I’m surprised he even thinks he will get it up with you in the first place.” Charlotte clenched her fist. “Not that it’s any of your business but he already did!” “Oh good to know he’s finished with you then.” “He is finished with you, or why do you think he started seeing me?” “See honey, what-“ “I’m not your honey!” Lari sighed. “What you don’t see is, Alan needs a real woman at his side. Not only to satisfy his sexual needs but he certainly doesn’t wanna play babysitter for you. And he doesn’t need no social project either.” Charlotte backed down and slowly removed her hands form the table. “Oh, honey, don’t you think I haven’t noticed your bruises. And don’t you think I don’t know who did that to you.” Charlotte swallowed hard. For God’s sake, where was her father when she needed him. What was taken him so long? “Does your father know you’re dating Alan?” Charlotte clammed up. “Aha, I thought so.”, Lari grinned. “Would be such a shame if he did, eh?” “Why haven’t you made any coffee by now?! Frank bumped back into the office, a stack of files under his arm. “Come on!” dragging her into the kitchen. “I asked you for a simple favour.” “You didn’t ask…” “I swear to God, make that fuckin coffee or I loose my shit.”, he hissed through gritted teeth and Charlotte quietly set up the coffee brewer, while Frank went back to his newest client. While the machine ran, she tried to catch a few scraps of their conversation. What was her game? It was surely no coincidence she wanted to hire her dad. Charlotte overheard that apparently she had some trouble with a former affiliate of hers. What a pretence. And Charlotte started to worry. Knowing about her and Alan, Lari had her by the short and curlies. After serving the coffee, Charlotte quickly got into the shower. As the warm water ran over her body she couldn’t help but bursted out into tears. She knew Lari was right. Alan didn’t want no helpless, little girl at his side, that needed to be rescued from her father. And Charlotte wanted to be that independent and mature woman he was looking for but also felt trapped, like she couldn’t break away from her father. That was also why she didn’t wanna move in with Alan, even it was temporary only. She feared someone like Alan would eventually be sick of dealing with such preschool problems, when he was at a complete different state of life than Charlotte was. And perhaps her intuition on this one wasn’t letting her down.
During the next days, Charlotte and Alan didn’t see much of one another, they didn’t had a fight but both felt some tension between each other. While Alan was trying to give Charlotte some room to decide what she wanted to do in order to sort out her problem at home, Charlotte felt rejected and that Alan didn’t wanna see her.
So when she and her besties, Sophia and Lisa were on their way to another concert of the boys, she had mixed feelings. The three entered the backstage area, where they were happily welcomed by the band. Jake pulled Sophia into his strong arms, giving her passionate kiss, while Lou and Lisa were still a bit shy around other people, so the saxophonist grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and gave her a short peck on her cheek. As Charlotte and Alan met they faced each other awkwardly. “Hi Alan.” “Hi Charlie, you look gorgeous tonight.” “Thanks.”, she responded with a little smile. Everyone who was watching the two instantly felt something was wrong and were kind of embarrassed to be present. The blonde girl turned around to her friends “Think I’ll be heading to our seats already, see you in a bit.” 
Lisa and Sophia gave each other a look before hurrying after her friend. “Charlie, wait! What was this all about?”, Sophia grabbed her arm. “Nothing.”, she shrugged her shoulders in response. “Did you break off?” “Were we even a couple?” “Were?”, Lisa asked shocked. “Relax, we didn’t. It’s.. I don’t know… tensed. He hasn’t been calling me for a couple of days.” “Have you called him?” “No… I didn’t wanna bother him.” “Why do you keep saying that?” “Because it’s true. Alan could date everyone. It’s just a matter of time ’til he’s tired of my bs with my dad.” “Why would he? He offered you to move in with him for now.” “Right, so what if that wasn’t a genuine offer? Perhaps he only felt the need to say that.” “Jeez, you still think the worst of everyone!”, Sophia rolled her eyes. “Last thing you told us is that he asked you to think about it. So I guess he’s just waiting for an answer.”, Lisa explained. “Go and talk to him after concert.” “But before that we’re gonna enjoy the music, nothing will cheer you up like their songs, trust me.”; Sophia said with a big smile and grabbed Charlotte’s hand, dragging her to their seats.
Meanwhile Lou got after Alan. “Hey man, are you and Charlotte alright?” “Yeah, yeah, we’re fine.” “C’mon Alan, talk to me!” The trumpet player sighed. “I don’t even know what it is! I told her she could live with me until she found a flat for herself cos I want her away from her manic father and gave her some time to think about it and since then: nothing. I don’t know what else to do if she keeps refusing my help! Maybe it’s all too much for me.” “What are you saying? I thought you liked her, for real!” “Yes, I do.” “Sometimes a relationship needs some work, especially at the beginning.”, Lou advised. “See? This is why I never got involved in anything serious before. It just complicates things.” “Even if things are difficult at the moment, I’ve never seen you any happier than being with Charlotte. So perhaps it’s time you step out of your comfort zone if you wanna make things work with her.” They got interrupted by Elwood, yelling across backstage. “2 minutes guys!” “Lou gave his friends a warm smile and a pat on the shoulder “Think about it.”
The concert was extraordinary. They were rocking the crowd and the atmosphere was purely captivating. After the band finished playing “Hey Bartender” Jake got on the mic again. “This next song, we haven’t played in front of anyone yet, so feel honoured to be the first.” He put in one of his little giggles there. “It’s called ‘Gimme Some Lovin’ by the Spencer Davis Group. And me, Blue Lou and Mr. Fabulous here, would like to dedicate this song to three incredible, young ladies in our lives, who also happen to be in the audience tonight. Sophia, Lisa and Charlotte. Sophia? I love you babe!”, he said and pointed to his girl in the audience causing Sophia to scream, who soon got drown out by the band starting to play. Charlotte was excited to hear the boy’s version of that song, thinking back when Alan told her, they worked out a nice part for the horns and they clearly didn’t disappoint. 
After like three or four encores, the girls were all hyped up and on their way backstage. “Relax, just tell him how much you liked the song and that you wanna talk with him in private. It’s your Alan after all.”, Lisa tried to support Charlotte.
When they walked up the little stairs their glances first hit Elwood. He was caught up in a passionate kiss with someone in his arms, his hands all over that someone. As soon as he realised all eyes were on him, he cleared his throat. “Everyone this is Lex by the way.”, he said and a big grin formed on his lips. “We met a few nights ago. Please be nice to them.” Lex seemed a big nervous as they were playing with their dark, slightly wavy hair but all that seemed to vanish when Elwood pulled Lex back into his arms and planted a kiss on their cheek. The two seemed like a great match. Lex was really casual looking, they were wearing a jeans jacket and a graphic tee combined with a pair of combat boots. They clearly seemed to be on the same level, funny and not taking things too serious. Most of the guys had a stupid grin on their face except for Jake of course, who already knew about his brothers new partner in crime but everyone was just happy for Elwood, he deserved to be with someone after everything he went through. 
That amusement didn’t stay for long though as Charlotte noticed Alan. He was sitting in a corner on one of the amplifiers, focused on cleaning his mouthpiece, Lari standing next to him. She was straddling his shoulder and trying to get his attention. From the distance it was hard to tell if he was wrapped up in a chat with her but frankly, Charlotte didn’t even wanted to know. 
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
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noahstayed · 3 years
Note
Sorry if you've already answered these questions but I still want to ask them so...
1) Are you going to make another book after Earthshine?
(If the answer is yes; (and you don't have to answer this one,) Are you going to do a time skip or will you go the 'the condom broke'?)
2) Will Edward have a mate (If yes; will you create an OC or simply pluck a character from the twilight saga archives are revamp them?)
3) If you do make a version of Breaking Dawn, will it have the same premise (Ie. Wedding, Honeymoon, (I typed hUMANmoon and then corrected it, don't know why my fingers went there.) surprise pregnancy (or not? Because Carlisle is a DOCTOR) turning, then the Volturi going all "We must kill the child!"?)
4) With regards to question three, in the (honestly, and sadly, unlikely) ( completely forgot what word I was going to type, and It as too much trouble to type that so I'm just going to use another word that won't flow as well) situation (I'm so unhappy with this word, my stomach is turning something fierce, man.) that you DO go the standard "with the other book as a very, very, loose guideline) Would you go the route of OYH or would make an entirely new plot?
Also, if you do go with the same general outline, (which is unlikely since Irina isn't with Laurant in newmoon but with Charlie, so there's no bitter feelings and she won't immediately go to the kings before she's heard Carlisle's explanation.) How would you make that work?
5) I know you said that if you do make a fourth book you would just use the dhampire from OYH, Elisha, does that still reign true? Or are you planning to make a new character entirely?
6) If you do make a fourth, and go the OYH route, would you still make Elisha Emse's mate, like in OYH? Or will you go with Garette?
7) Also, since you have previously made an ff about Garette and Bella having a brother-sister type friendship would we see that and get to see Garette claim her as his sister and charlie as his father, and everyone goes along with it? (Honestly, I REALLY want this to happen, especially since I've spent the last hour scrolling through your tumbler and stumbled upon the 'I'm older than my father' post.)
8) Really, all these questions border on the main one of "is there going to be a breaking dawn/part 4-5 (depending) in your rewrite?" but if you do, would Carlisle buy Isle Bella as a honeymoon present of would that be in the oneshots book (that you'll hopefully be writing after this is over) as like a "Have fifteenth anniversary" thing?
9) Are you going to write a book full of random one-shots you couldn't fit into your story? I REALLY HOPE SO.
enthusiastically hope so. :) (that's really a tense smile with eyes SHINING with hope. Just informing you that you'll be crushing my heart. Brutally. With a stake. No pressure :) )
10) If you don't write the fourth book will we get an epilogue with the wedding five years later? Like, with Bella being SUPER nervous?
And finally, 11) (I really want a war to showcase Bella's awesome vampire powers (because you've stated (in a previous Tumblr post) that you'd give Bella her BAMF!Bella OYH powers)) So if there's a part four, even though the Volturi is "lawful" and like, has a brain, in your series, can they like have a brain fart where they go. "He's making an army," Or just straight up CANNON!Aro with his need for power be like "It's an immortal child, and it needs to be destroyed." But really be thinking, "They're growing too large, already their numbers rival our own, they must be put down! This is the perfect time!" Like the (cowardly) power-hungry and villainess we all know and love. Kinda.
I have other questions but those can really wait lol.
I basically want breaking dawn and the third (Do you count Charlie's book as part of Bella's story or as a stand-alone since you weren't really progressing the plot very much (also a very good way to have a time skip in your main)?) isn't even done yet.
I don't know if you can tell, but I've been reading this series for three days straight (new fan!) and just started your OYH series and I'm just filled with a desire right now. Like, I typically hate sex scenes in a twilight book (but that's because I was a child when these movies came out (saw them all in theatre!) and still was when I read the books, so Bella is SACRED lol, and It just makes me uncomfortable to imagine her in those positions (it's like a trauma okay?) but I really enjoyed your stories (even if I basically glossed over your sex scenes and read through them quickly) and could actually sit through your sex scenes (mostly, because it wasn't INTENSE! Like, a lot of rewrites turn breaking dawn into literal Porn and sully the books for me because they basically remove a lot of plot to make room for Bella's sudden appetite, and while, yes, you gave her an appetite and... I am just really enjoying your stories and how you write so Thank You.
Okay, I've let you know your appreciated and put out my question into the tumblr universe so now I just have to wait for you to see this and maybe respond.
I hate waiting.
I haven't gotten an ask in a while and AJKHFJKHD Listen!! THE FACE I MADE AT HOW LONG THIS IS??? Superb!! I'm honored you've taken the time to write this all out so I'm gonna try to answer you as best as I can!!
Right now I'm 100% sure that there will be a couple of Novellas/Novelettes directly after Earthshine. The Renee Story, the Charlie Story, and the Roommate Story which all will get maybe 40k and mini plots that are far more focused than Charlie's first story. Charlie's new story will be focused on his relationship with Carlisle too, so that should be fun!
Edward having a Mate is still up in the air at the moment. Since he is still very young, I don't see the need to really give him someone so quick when other characters have waited WAAAY longer. As for who it might be, that's also still up in the air in case I want to do a short story with him that's a part of a series of Novellas after the main books
If I do make a BD rewrite IT WILL have wedding/honeymoon/surprise pregnancy then it will PRETTY MUCH go off the rails from there because the Pregnancy will be VASTLY different. Carlisle is a Doctor and Bella isn't an idiot. They won't be in Washington either.
Again. The first half will be loosely based on the book and then just go completely off the rails because, Like you said, the Volturi have brains and I LOATHE an 'idiot' plot where people are required to suddenly become stupid for the story to work. As for the OYH route, I will be borrowing a couple elements from OYH but the conflict will be very different.
Elisha is baby and there's no way I could make another Dhampir at this point. Not with how much I love him.
The aging process will work differently in this fic for Dhampirs, so this question is irrelevant since Elisha will be a child for the entire fourth book. As for when he's older, Its still up in the air for this series. He deserves to be baby and I very much dislike the trope of age faster = mentally develop faster because that's BS.
We'll see, I love Bella and Garrett, but there's A LOT I'll have to cram into the last book so we'll just see.
As much as I'd love to answer this, I'm covering the honeymoon in the fourth book so you'll see what happens in there ; )
I HAVE PLANS for random one shots. I REALLY DO. I just has so little time to work on the main story so I might write some when Earthshine is done! I have a name for the one-shot collection already too and some Ideas!
I very much plan to write the fourth book you'll be fine. Bella will not be nervous, she'll be WAY more anxious about it going right. Mostly her nerves will be from anticipation and excitement because she'll be 23 and be very secure in her forever with Carlisle.
There will be a fight in book four that will not have the Volturi turning stupid. Don't worry about how.
Charlies little story is a Novella so I don't count it as a book.... GOD hearing you plowed through the series in so short a time is MIND boggling. I get people telling me this occasionally and I NEVER stop being amazed by it!
As for the sex scenes, yeah, I didn't want this to be erotic literature. I frequently scream that 'THIS ISN'T A SMUT BOOK' because them having sex is just a normal healthy thing that happens in relationships and wanted to show that. The sex scenes I write tend to be glossed over anyways so I'm glad it was readable for you. I get feeling frustrated and wanting more plot, but there are plenty of people who prefer the very explicit smut.
If sex scenes aren't your cup of tea, that's fine. I don't view Bella as pure and innocent though. It teeters dangerously on the Madonna/Whore dichotomy to act like she is. I get wanting to preserve the innocence of your childhood through her. That's not me though. Bella/Carlisle's relationship is highly sexual in nature within SoG and that's ALRIGHT too!
Thanks for the super long ask!!! it was great to read and fun to respond to!
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dexpairs-blog · 3 years
Text
RAD NEWSPAPER CLUB INTERVIEW
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~interviewer: i'm going to ask you some general questions if you don't mind, just to give our readers an idea of who you are.
Ciel: sure i don't mind!~
1. What's your name?
Ciel!
2. Give me your full name...
Ciel Cintio
3. Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?
Well, It depends on the person, but most call me "C"
4. What species are you?
Human
5. Where/when were you born?
Italy, June 10th! And i'm pretty sure you know i'm younger than most of you.
6. I see. And that would make your age...?
16
7. How would you describe your personality?
I don't know... Introverted and chaotic at the same time? I mean... I'm pretty quiet when you meet me but once i open up i'm pretty loud.
8. Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?
Not really
9. Do you like to read?
Yeah!
10. Favorite color?
Pink and black
11. Do you get along with others?
Yes!
12. Do you have any enemies?
Um... No? I don't think so...
13. How about friends?
Yeah, i do have friends.
14. Are you patient?
I don't know to be honest *giggles*?
15. Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?
16. One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?
Ignore them.
17. One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?
Depends, if they did that as a
joke then it's fine if they actually meant It then i'll just find better friends i guess.
18. If you could change anything about yourself...
My height, i want to be taller.
19. What're your parents like?
-didn't answer-
20. Do you have any siblings?
No.
21. Are you seeing/dating anyone?
No.
22. Favorite food?
Chocolate and pizza
23. Favorite drink?
Pepsi or Arizona tea
~Interviewer: ok! Now about the exchange program!
Ciel: oh, i'm ready!~
24. What was your first reaction when you arrived to the Devildom?
Well, i was pretty mad and confused. I literally just been brought into an unknown place all of the sudden without me knowing anything about it, so yeah i think it would be pretty self explanatory.
25. Do you like the Devildom?
Yeah i like it! I've never got the chance to travel outside Italy and this was an experience.
26: name three pros and cons about the Devildom.
Ok so, the pros are my friends, Madame Scream and the never changing weather. The cons are the lack of sunlight, humans need it, since i got here i get sick easily because of it, the constant danger of someone attacking me and the constant need of someone with me everywhere i go.
27. What do you think of the student council members?
They're cool.
28. What do you think about lord Diavolo?
Well, he's really nice and i love how open minded he is. It's a very important thing to have if you're in an important role such as his. I also think he's a really cool person to hang out with!
29. What about his butler, what do you think of him?
He's really hardworking, he does a great job as a butler and his cooking is amazing. He's very polite and calm.
30. What about the brothers?
We had our up and down a but i love them, they're like family to me. Well, all of them actually, not only the brothers, the other exchange students, lord Diavolo Barbatos are included as well.
31. That's so sweet! How would you describe living with them?
One word. Chaos.
32. Why is that?
Every day someone is on some bs (me included) and at times i feel more of a baby sitter. Ironic since i'm a kid.
33. what do you think of Lucifer?
He's strict. Too strict, but he's not a bad person. He can be nice when he wants to.
34. What about Mammon?
He's the first demon i made a pact with, at first he was pretty rude but he's actually really funny. We hang out often.
35. Leviathan?
He was also rude to me~! Lol, but anyway. He's a great friend and he gets the memes i send him. We watch anime togheter!
36. Satan?
He's like the fift demon i made a pact with, he's super smart and conversations with him are never boring! I like to hear his point of view on things, it's interesting. pulling pranks on Lucifer with him and Belphie it's fun.
37. Asmodeus?
At first he lowkey intimidated me for some reason...? I don't know why. It didn't last long though, like and hour.
He's super nice and his fashion sense is ✨IMMACULATE✨ he has elite taste.
38. Beelzebub?
He intimidated me, like a lot. He's HUGE, not to mentions that humans are smaller than demons in general.
But he's actually a sweetheart, he really cares about his family and wants to see everyone happy. He's the literal definition of "gentle giant".
39. Belphegor?
Uh... He's fine i guess...? I don't have much to say about him. Pranking Lucifer with him and Satan it's fun.
40. What do you think about the other exchange students?
They're super cool! I love hanging out with them.
41. What do you think of the angels?
Luke is like a little brother to me, i care a lot about him. Simeon is always super nice to me and i like him, i like the relationship Luke and him have, it's really sweet.
42. What about the other human, Solomon?
He's cool! We don't get to spend much time togheter though... I kind of want him to teach me magic hahah! *Giggles*
43. Do you prefer humans, demons or angels?
I don't have a preference.
44. Would you like to keep in touch with your friends after the exchange program?
Yeah absolutely!
45. Is there a place in the human world you would like to take them?
Well, there are quite a bit actually... If i had to choose one i'd say Gardaland, it's an amusement park in Italy.
46. Why is that?
I don't know, i feel like they would enjoy it as much as i do. I've been going there since i was a child and i never get tired of it, last time i went there it was like 3/4 before coming to the Devildom, so very recently.
47. Do you feel any sort of connection with this park?
I have a lot of happy memories there, so that's why i love that place so much. There's also a restaurant on the western area that makes an amazing pizza! I know the place by heart now hahah!
48. Did you enjoy this exchange year?
Yeah i did!
49. Do you plan on visiting the Devildom again?
If given the chance yes, i don't know how to get into the Devildom.
50. Allright we're done! Is there something else you want to say to our readers?
No, i'm good.
~interviewer: allright! Thank you so much for your time!
Ciel: no problem i had fun!~
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miggydiaz · 3 years
Note
For the salty ask 1, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 14, 16, 20, 22, 23 and 26 for cobra kai pretty please
My answers are so long, so I am putting this under the cut @wonderwolfballoon! Also I just noticed your Daniel icon I SWEAR I’M NOT DRAGGING HIM TO BE MEAN!!!
1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?* My biggest IDGI ships for CK are probably Elimetri or Kiaz. I’m not here to yuck other people’s yums or anything, but I do think there is something to the idea that Migueli isn’t popular because it’s a ship predicated on mutual respect for one another. Kiaz has the obvious enemies to lovers vibe and I just generally don’t sail those ships. Elimetri has... its problems, IMO, most especially around the idea that Demetri has to like... save Hawk from himself? Idk. I just like romances that I feel are based on love and mutual respect and not ...tropes.

 I am also not a Lawrusso shipper although I have a lot of those on my dash and you all are great! Again, not yucking yums! Daniel just makes me want to head butt him too much to pair him romantically with anyone 😂 I don’t even want his wife with him. He needs to self reflect~ 

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?* 

I once saw someone ship Amanda and Anoush and I noped out of that so fucking fast I almost tripped over myself. I’m not sure if they’re popular. I just think some people feel the need to get Amanda out of the way to sail their ship and stuck her with Anoush which... no. Just no. Let Amanda be a messy single queen with a martini hobby, thanks! 

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?* 

Not in CK. I’m lucky because I pretty much stick to my little Migueli bubble and I’m okay with that? Lmao lord knows the Squad on my dash is all about the DISCOURSE™️ so idk if I just don’t feel the need to get sucked into the wider ship wars because we have good healthy debates, but so far, so good. 

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?* 

I never hated it... I just didn’t have many feelings on shipping with this show in general at first. Then I was in the CK tag one day and I saw Migueli fan art. Then I discovered @afurioushawk‘s falconry series and it was all over for me after that! So fandom DID make me love a ship, just not one I hated.
9. Most disliked character(s)? Why? Oh boy. How much time do you have? In some instances, it’s a good thing season 3 happened because otherwise, this would be a multi-page essay on the problems with race and class privilege as it pertains to Sam LaRusso and just some... generally not nice comments about Demetri that I’m conflicted about because I’m not sure if the writers are intentionally trying to write him a specific way and it’s just not translating to me or what. But season 3 revamped both of their images with me a lot. I’m way more flexible in terms of Demetri, but lmao I was the number one Sam LaRusso hater for a minute there (or maybe number 2, I can think of at least 1 other person who was in that boat with me back in like... August/September, but I won’t call them out because I don’t want them to get hate...) However, I have grown a bit in my opinions of Sam, and even though I still think she’s responsible  for a lot of shit she NEVER gets held accountable for, I also think that’s a reflection of the adults around her too, and this includes my otherwise unproblematic queen, Amanda.
But honestly, my most hated character (other than the obvious villain that is Kreese) is Daniel. No matter how handsome Ralph Macchio looks in cable-knits, because Daniel has always been a sanctimonious, shit starting drama king and I say that about KK Daniel too. I’m not saying Daniel was the ~true villain~ or anything, or that Johnny was innocent -- I can only drink so much Red and Yellow Kool-Aid -- but Daniel’s always been annoying to me as a protagonist, and turning him into a smarmy wealthy car salesman who is also a class traitor did not do him any favors in my book. I will say, I also like Daniel more in season 3 than I have in previous season, but since he is the adult, I will be mad at him longer than I will be at the kids, ya feel?
10. Most disliked arc? Why?

 Johnny’s entire season 3 storyline. The sheer level of REGRESSION at every turn drives me bonkers. It’s like watching him go through all of the stumbling blocks of season 1 all over again, but without the “he’s learning! He’s going to make mistakes!” free pass that I was willing to give him the first time around. He regularly jeopardizes Miguel’s recovery and it’s played for laughs. He fucks up on every level with Robby. He spends most of his time running away when things get hard or too real. He drops the ball completely with Hawk, and like, not to put too fine a point on it, but a lot of Hawk’s issues are because Johnny put Hawk on this ‘flip the script and be a badass’ path and then offered him no guidance for how to walk that path and instead left him in the hands of Kreese. And then he has the nerve to go to Hawk and basically be like “I made you what you are!” lmao yeah Johnny, you sure did, that’s why he’s breaking peoples arms, hoss. And then all of the nonsense with Ali and Carmen, like... if you were planning on teasing KK fans with Ali and him getting back together, why write her as married in the first place? Why even tease the idea of Carmen and Johnny until after you were sure what you were going to do with Ali as a character? Instead, they do what they did in season 3 and it makes him look like a colossal jerk. So yeah. Literally every choice they made with Johnny this season, I hated.
14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom? People who hate Tory are not valid, sorry not sorry.
16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? I would have kept Miguel entirely out of Tory and Sam’s beef. Or at least not directly inserted him into it like he was with the kiss. I know the writers thought it was necessary to push Tory to the point of inciting a fight at school, but I am just so exhausted over girls being unable to fight about anything but boys. Also I would bring Aisha back.
20. What is the purest ship in the fandom? 

I am probably biased, but I still maintain it’s Migueli. Look, Miguel stood up to Kyler for Eli and Demetri both. Hawk joined CK because he saw what it could do for some skinny nerd who was getting his ass kicked. And he took to CK, really took to it! Even flourished before he started getting mixed messages. And he and Miguel were pretty much inseparable after that. They coordinated their wardrobes ffs. Hawk dubbed him El Serpiente and no one else calls him that — it’s Hawk’s nickname for him. Miguel confides in Hawk only secondary to Johnny, who is like a father to him. The entire Coyote Creek exchange shows they can fight and disagree but... well, to use the cliche, they don’t go to bed angry, you know? They’re square the very next day. Hawk is the first person at Miguel’s side when he gets kicked over the balcony and the LOOK he gives the second floor where Robby is? That boy is out for blood immediately to avenge Miguel. So much of his s3 behavior is fueled by that need for vengeance because MD is wholly responsible for what happened to Miguel. And Miguel is so confused and betrayed by Hawk’s shift in behavior, and yet still holds out hope that Hawk will see through Kreese’s BS and come with him to The Dojo I Refuse to Name. And when Hawk does make that deflection finally, he shows up at MD with Miguel. There’s so much more that I know I’m missing but whether someone ships them or not, that is a tried and true love and respect for one another, a willingness to fight for and defend one another that you don’t often see in TV friendships... or even in most tv relationships. And I just think that’s the best ❤️
22. Popular character you hate?

 Daniel, hands down. I mean... I don’t even necessarily hate Daniel, you know? I just think it’s really, pardon the pun, rich that a guy of immense wealth and privilege can’t get a therapist or turn to his far too patient wife for help with his existential crisis over his high school bully opening up a karate dojo to make some money and help a kid who is getting the crap kicked out of him. I get that Daniel’s narrative is necessary for the rivalry, but it does nothing to make him sympathetic as a character.
23. Unpopular character you love?

 Tory, definitely! Everyone hates her and then there’s me and the Squad over here banging away on our Coors Banquet cans yelling TORY RIGHTS! Seriously she catches so much flack for a teenage girl who is... the sole income provider for her family? At 17? While caring for a sick mom and a little brother? And fending off a creepy landlord? Tory has it so rough and then she meets a cool girl at her dojo who asks her to hang out at some fancy ass country club which is probably the nicest place Tory has ever been in, and then she gets talked down to and accused of being a thief and has another girl lay hands on her, only to find out that same girl is her new boyfriend’s ex and... ugh. I HATE that Tory gets shit all over when Tory and Sam wouldn’t even have beef if Sam had apologized to Tory as she SHOULD have. Tory isn’t innocent, but damn, I’d be pressed too.

 My other unpopular character I love? Nathaniel. Seriously that kid is THE best. He’s a literal child but is out there like I WILL FUCK YOU UP, even though he’s MD. Honestly, his Cobra Kai energy is so ferocious I won’t be surprised if he moves back to CK eventually. Anyway, I love him.

26. Most shippable character?

 Miguel, hands down. It’s because he’s so affable and sweet overall. And because his hair is so fluffy and pettable that no one can resist touching it. I like to imagine that one day he and Hawk are talking about their hair and Hawk makes a joke about how Miguel’s mane is getting so long that it’s going to be bigger than his own, and then he reaches out to ruffle it and internally has a bisexual meltdown because oh no IT’S SO SOFT AND NICE. But uh... anyway, yes. Definitely Miguel.
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itsclydebitches · 3 years
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I’m the tin foil hat anon and I wanted to thank you for the response on my bb submission, you make great points. Although I was frustrated that some of them raised even more questions I didn’t think of myself… UGH… lol the S2 wait is gonna be painful
On the point of crosshair thinking his chip was removed a looong time ago(meaning before bracca or even as early as ep1) it wouldn’t make sense bc of his response to Hunter’s “you tried to kill us, we didn’t have a choice”. He says “and I did?”. So he seems to be aware he couldn’t control himself in all their previous encounters. Does it mean he knows his actions were due to chip then?
And you say crosshair avoiding the “when” question can be due to him not caring if the horrible actions he committed are chip or himself and it’s meant to show that he truly is despicable and evil. It could be the case because he shows absolutely no remorse or regret over slaughtering civilians, never apologizes to his brothers for not only trying to kill them but almost successfully incinerating(!!!) them. On top of that (apparently) without a chip he casually murders his own squad without a blink of an eye right in front of them.
On the other hand, he shows care for Omega’s safety in that episode and wants a better place in the universe for his brothers(even if it’s obviously a mistake). He sounds hurt and betrayed by them yet he still wants what he thinks is best for them. He seemed genuine and sincere in that moment. Even after they refused to join he protected them against the droids. He had multiple opportunities to shoot Hunter or others in the back but never did(and looked like didn’t even consider it). BUT after all of that he decides to raise his gun and try to shoot hunter who already has his gun drawn?! And in front of the whole squad holding him at gun point!!! WTF was he thinking?! WHY? I know they rejected his offer but still. Did his reveal completely change his plans? I just don’t understand. I know he is meant to be “complex and nuanced character with layers” but what a mood swing lmao
As much as I loved and enjoyed the bad batch overall I’m beginning to think that all these inconsistencies aren’t meant to be a crafty set up for next season. What they most likely are is just writers being vague on purpose so they don’t write themselves into a corner.
And as to why the batch and Omega didn’t even try to rescue their brother could just be so that Hunter and Crosshair would have this drama and disagreement at the end. Despite brad rau claiming their argument was over ideological differences. And Jen Corbett saying in that same cursed interview that the batch always love and support each other no matter what because they’re family. Well, I guess not crosshair, he doesn’t count anymore lol
And I agree with you I’d rather see the batch acknowledging they could have done more to try and rescue him than go into the chip details. However, I have a suspicion the real reason or explanation on why they never went back for him isn’t going to be brought up ever. Even *in universe* it simply does not make sense. Just makes me sad seeing how many people also try to come up with explanations. That should have been the writers job to provide something besides Hunter’s “you tried to kill us” bc that’s a weak argument and a total bs since he was SHOCKED to learn crosshair doesn’t have a chip.
Btw sorry for the long posts lol I just found your takes very intriguing
The season two wait is something awful and I only just started it lol. No worries about long asks though! My blog has become quite meta heavy over the years, so this is normal for my inbox. Besides, it’s a bit of a pot and kettle situation. It's not like my answers are particularly concise :D
Okay first, I have the unpopular (?) opinion that Crosshair was never planning to shoot Hunter, partly for the reasons you lay out here. You’re right, it doesn’t make sense, and rather than just accepting that he had that kind of “mood swing" (which would be pretty bad writing based on everything else we've seen) I think it does make sense that this was never his intention at all. Rather, it’s just a setup to make the audience think he’s about to shoot Hunter—that’s the obvious goal of that moment: the shock, drama, confusion, and then relief—but that doesn’t mean that in-universe that was ever Crosshair’s goal, even for just a split second. Omega leaves the pod. Echo, crucially, says that he can’t see her, setting up that Crosshair with his enhanced sight is probably the only one who could. He grabs his rifle off screen and as he does, Hunter leans over the side of the pod as he prepares to jump in, precisely where Crosshair needs to aim to hit Omega. Hunter is in his way. He’s directly in the line of fire, not because Crosshair is aiming for him, but just because that's where Omega is and they're both aiming for her: Crosshair with his rifle, Hunter ready to dive. The little shift Crosshair makes reads to me as him ensuring he doesn’t hit Hunter, despite him being right where he needs to aim, not him full on changing targets.
Even if we choose to read it as him deliberately aiming at Hunter—because yeah, the scene is meant to be ambiguous—I don’t think he, like, meant it meant it. Crosshair, as we’ve seen throughout TBB and TCW, can be pretty antagonistic. He likes to do things to get a rise out of people, like staring at regs until they snap at him, or pushing Rex’s buttons until he swings. If he was choosing to aim at Hunter in that moment, rather than Hunter just being in the way, I think it’s only bravado. Remember the “Don’t make the same mistake twice. Don’t make me your enemy” line? Crosshair has a need to remind others of his skill and power—whether it’s playfully like in TCW, or more seriously in TBB—and that’s likely what this is here. “Hey, Hunter. Look. I got my weapon back. I’ve got you cornered. I’m about to save our sister when you can’t. Remember that I’m good and you need me.” Those feelings of abandonment are tied up in that need to be needed, so when Crosshair is seething at being left behind, brutally showing them how he can get a drop on their leader and doing the thing they can't (save Omega) is a great way to remind them of what they threw away/re-boost his own self-esteem. But none of that means shooting Hunter was ever a real possibility. Because nowhere else do we see Crosshair willingly trying to harm his team. He does while under the chip’s influence, but then he never hurts Hunter when he’s captured. He kills his new team before they can hurt the batch. He helps them fight off the droids. There’s a tussle, but it’s not choreographed like either he or Hunter truly intends harm. Crosshair demonstrates no aggression during the entire escape, willingly gives up his weapon after saving Omega, and just stands there as they leave. If this guy actually wanted to hurt them, he would. Which is more likely, that Crosshair had a split second of real murder intent across two episodes of doing everything possible to help his team, or that this was just a mean bluff?
But personally, I don’t even think it was a bluff. I think the coincidence of Crosshair needing to aim there and Hunter already being there is just meant to imply an attack for the audience, not imply that Crosshair, in-universe, ever intended to hurt him, even for just a second. If he had, he wouldn’t look so surprised and sad when he realizes the others are pointing their weapons at him. If he was out to shoot Hunter, even if only for a moment, seeing his brothers come to his defense would be expected; a given. But if he only ever intended to save Omega, then seeing their weapons trained on him would produce the emotions we saw: shock that they’d turn on him and then severe disappointment. From Crosshair’s perspective, he didn’t do anything wrong and never intended to do wrong either. Hence, looking away in disbelief that his need to aim through Hunter was taken as a serious threat. He's realizing that they honestly believe that he would hurt them. Not the chipped version of him, but just him, all on his own.
As for the rest of his characterization, I think your point that “You tried to kill us” is a weak argument is pretty important. Meaning, Crosshair knows he didn’t attack his team and nearly kill them, the Empire controlling him like a puppet did. He (arguably) doesn’t owe them an apology for something that he was as much a victim for. However, we usually expect one anyway—like Wrecker still apologizing to Omega—because that's how people who have hurt loved ones react, whether the hurt was intentional or not, but that guilt is currently overshadowed by his fury that they left him behind. For him I think it’s a bit of a circular problem. Yes, he nearly killed them… but he wouldn’t have nearly killed them if they’d come back and rescued him. With the obvious disclaimer that the Empire is the real evil here, Crosshair as a threat is a bit of a problem of the batch's own making. If they’d done the right thing and gotten him out, there wouldn’t have been these scary moments like the engine incident. If they’d at least tried, then Crosshair likely would have been more guilt-ridden because he hurt his brothers who were trying to help him. As it stands, he tried to hurt the people who claim they're his brothers, but who left him behind. That's why he presents this second chance as magnanimous: from Crosshair's perspective, they haven't done anything to earn his care, but they're getting it anyway. An apology though? That's pushing things too far. If when Wrecker turned the group had locked him somewhere in the ship and gone off planet, leaving him there under the justification “Well, he tried to kill us!" would Wrecker still return with apologies for his actions... or would he be primarily pissed at being left like that, withholding apologies because they did him harm intentionally, whereas he did harm under another's control? I mean, maybe he'd be forgiving (the huge difference between his and Crosshair’s personalities is another factor), but also maybe not. Having Crosshair apologize for the near-death experiences requires 1. For him to feel responsibility for something that was forced on him and 2. For him to not be absolutely furious at the batch for abandoning him. They've gotta work through that before Crosshair can acknowledge that guilt.
Killing his second team on the other hand… idk if the batch cares, honestly. It was the killing of civilians that they balked at, not other fighters like themselves. Even the Jedis’ execution, something they clearly didn’t like, wasn’t enough to turn them from the Empire, presumably because the Jedi are capable of defending themselves. They fell in battle. It’s only when the Empire asks them to kill kids and untrained civilians that they go, “Absolutely not. This organization is evil.” Murder of other fighters was, you know, not great, but not worth defecting over either. Crosshair’s second team is made up of fighters who have been trying to kill them, so they’re definitely fair game. If we removed Crosshair’s plan from the situation and the batch was just fighting their way off Kamino after a capture, would they have also killed the team without a blink of an eye? Probably. It's self-defense. The second they raised their blasters it became a battle and, unless you’re specifically out to stun someone for some reason, battles end bloody. The shock is which side Crosshair was on, not that one side was willing to murder the other. It’s definitely messed up from our perspective that Crosshair laid a trap to murder his team to prove a point… but from the batch’s perspective? Crosshair killed a bunch of imperial fighters who were threatening them during a battle. That’s just an average Tuesday for them, nothing much to get upset over.
And omg don’t get me started on Crosshair wanting to find Omega a family! Like yeah, it’s obviously a #mistake and his faith in the Empire is Super Messed Up but... the underlying motivation is so good. It’s another situation where there’s no easy answer. Which is more important: Omega’s emotional health where she grows up with clones like her, the people who are now 100% her family, or her physical health, where she stays some place where she’s not always getting shot at, kidnapped, at risk of going hungry, etc.? It’s easy as the audience to go, “Of course she belongs with her dads!!” but if you choose to read the story through any realistic lens, Crosshair absolutely has a point about this being terrible environment for a kid, the exact point the batch themselves were making until Omega begged to stay. I love my feral, compassionate child but let me tell you, I YELLED when she yeeted herself out of that pod. This is a traumatized, formerly isolated kid with absolutely zero self-preservation, combined with, at times, a lack of basic common sense that’s inevitable in children (like not realizing she can’t pull a very heavy droid up through the water). As emotionally gutting as the thought is and, in this particular case, a Very Bad Idea, I really can’t fault anyone for raising the possibility that she go somewhere else, somewhere she’s likely to survive into her teens 😅
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