#iwrite rambles

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

Here comes the—

B-oyy~♡

Hello boyyy😂there he iiis~!

[prev.]

Look at the little Micha boy! He's such a little star!! Definitely that kid that people either love or hate, I think, lol. He's proobably gotten a little better with those social cues (maybe) but he's still very confrontational - he's that kind of person that's always questioning things and looking at them from every angle. His teachers don't know if he's a blessing or a curse tbh. Most adults probably feel that way about him!

He's very protective of Tamarack and very sweet on Autumn. He goes between He and They but gender is still a pretty dodgy subject to him, honestly - he doesn't really get the point of it beyond scientific and medical relevance. Overall, even if he seems a bit cool on the exterior and doesn't make friends easily, he's actually a pretty good and thoughtful kid and puts the work in for himself and others.

#mc michael #michael hope #olnf mc #olnf oc #olnf #step 2 #our life #our life now and forever #our life: now & forever #tamarack baumann #qiu lin #iwrite art #iwrite posts #character design #iwrite rambles #ol:nf #the amount of times #I had to go back #and fix something #my sweet jesus #thank god #it's finally done #lmaooo

[darabeatha]

    /  C.amazotz being that meme where the person asks for a lil bite but they take a whole chunk

#;ooc #ooc #u agree to feed him b.lood and he leaves u pale #i dunno what would be a similar saying to this in english but;; #'le das la mano y te toma el codo' <-- u give him ur hand and he takes ur elbow #THIS ISNT -JUST BECAUSE- OKOK #took inspiration on the lords of x.ibalba and how they tend to pull tricks and use loopholes to their advantage #they are quirky likethat indeed #he finds it very entertaining; however he dislikes it when that (rather extreme) mischief is returned to him #like;;; no u cant do this to me; only i can #which is like;; UMM SIR-? #but thatshow he is built ok #despite his position and all; he is prettygullible and rather easy to defeat if u know ur way around loopholes #again; this bit is inspired by the lords of x.ibalba #i like this; it shows an interesting duality; u would think someone as important would be undefeatable #im cutting my rambling here before iwrite a wall but ;; yes- #;camazotz

[youraveragemii]

can you write the shramp sacred texts, k thx, bye

OF COURSE. ANYTHING FOR YOU.

#wait what do iwrite #hold on i need to come up with my own lore #origin story #am i a cookie ... or a robot? || rambles

[floraone]

Soooo I just finished rereading Yugen and I'm trying to think of a way to eloquently tell you how god damn BEAUTIFUL that story & universe is but I'm way too in my feelings to even construct a sentence- so just know that I have no idea what to do with my life now except to go back and reread every fic you've read for about the 10th time haha. Also!! Thank you so much for organising and contributing to Smutember! Mercy seriously sent me into a CRISIS- do you have any plans to continue on in that-

(2) universe? I try really hard to not just randomly ramble on in your inbox all the time but I'm seriously so obsessed with your work that I check your blog everyday (in the least non creepy way possible I swear haha). Basically now that I'm done creeping I just want to say one big thank you!!! Your writing brings so much joy to me and this fandom x     

-

AHHHHHH! Ok ok ok FIRST OF, you have no idea how happy this message made me NO IDEA and I totally stalk my favorite blogs and authors too and like, even force them to be friends with me because I just keep sticking around lolol and anyway you don’t even know what creepy is you’re nowhere in lightyears of doing that (nevermind the fact I don’t even think that’s possible lol - Iwrite these things because I want people to see them and you tell me you WAIT for them and OMG I HAVE SUCH HAPPY FACE RIGHT NOW). ANyway I couldn’t BE MORE FLATTERED TO BE THE ONE WHO’S BLOG IS BEING CHECKED DAILY BY SOMEONE OUT THERE DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME PLEASE STICK AROUND?!!!       

Also: I’m so happy people are still reading Yuuuugeeeeeeen. My babyyyy. (So yes needless to say if you ever do find the words I wanna HEAR THEM lol)

Aaaalso: I left Mercy at the note it is to leave it open for me to add to it when inspiration strikes lolol. So there will be addage, I’m pretty sure. Either an epilogue in the format of the Little Moments series, or a third part later on after I’m done with my current and way-too-many WiPs. We’ll see!

ANYWAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT AND THE WARM AND FUSSIES AND MAKING ME SO HAPPY THIS FINE MORNING *MWAH*!!!

[silverstarshining]

She needed to be held. She didn’t know why or by whom she just needed it. This sinking feeling at the pit of her stomach and the weight on her chest told her so. She could almost feel it. Almost feel arms wrapping around her, cradling her head; someone pressed against her back as she curled in and closed her eyes to the world.

If she could just achieve that moment, that frozen second in time, maybe everything else would just fall away. The walls, the noise, the fear; all gone. And she could sink. And for one moment she could just… be.

#ramblings #iwrite

[artoflifehealingarts]

The psychedelic experience IS work

If you work

WITH

The plant is what it is: an ass trembling soul shaking thigh quaking experience

If you work

WITH

Them

What do you think? Or did you think,

That unraveling all that shit would be easy?

All the shit your parents grew up with

Of course someone caught onto human nature

Observe yourself

They want to think for you and influence your decisions

Reshape harness your behavior

Really?

Or is it your #freewill that is priceless to all

#hewhocontrolstheessence

All

Make use of your consumer nature.

Which you have as a reaction

To your lack

Your lack feels strange

And in it you do not grow

Ya find

Nothing

That you resonate with.

Knowing that you miss that which you are. You

Miss the Abundance

You are abundance

How many cells

Make up just your physical shell?

You are abundance

A mystery

To serve

Just live

To be

To care for

To serve the

Collective that feeds you

Supports you

Not fear

Not fear

So yeah

If you work with psychedelics

You do see

And you see that people can write all the books they want

But even a bum can be enlightened

Because all you gotta do

Is

#choose

Knowing it is that simple

Insults the #ego

And so it is and so it goes

On a

Positive note

It goes

It always

Goes

For it knows

It knows

Nothing

At all

For it is being created as it is being experienced

Realization hurts

But in a good way

You realize

Redefine

Align

Go into the unknown

But isn't that what you've always done?

I mean before you were aware you didn't know that you knew

Imagine

Now that you do?

Oh

Shit

Look at you!

Confirmation received.

I feel you

Yeah

It feels

Real

It feels

Good

It

Just

Is

Let it

Be

What it is

Its

U

Oh bothers

Am out of Enkis

Sacred ale

I remember the recipe

Its in my belly.

The gut mind hmmm

Rest I must

Haha

Rest

#gratitude

My #spokenword #Words #iwrite

#ramblings

#blues

#aesthetic

#blue

#sundayjournaling

#journaling

#storytelling

#eyes

#blueandwhite

High #frequency @frequencywear

Blue strong light white all light

Color Meditation incantation enchanted

Enchante

#onelove

#djinn #dakini #bodhisattva #nobody

#word

First there was sound

Go there 🤗

#patterns

#enki

[roxannesmolen]

Finish the first draft. Let it ramble. Let it sag. You can tighten it later. #writersofinstagram #writing #writer #iwrite #lifeofawriter #writerslife #author #authorsofinstagram #quote #inspirationalquoteoftheday #motivation #amreading #booklover #bookstagram #books #booklove #bookish

#bookstagram #authorsofinstagram #quote #booklove #bookish #writerslife #lifeofawriter #amreading #author #writing #books #writer #booklover #inspirationalquoteoftheday #writersofinstagram #iwrite #motivation

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

also, ngl, I am in Love with the idea that Cove is barely keeping himself from throwing hands when [spoiler] Baxter initially walks away from MC during the soap opera moment - just two seconds from going on a war path for the first time in his life lmfao

Like, I don't know about the rest of y'all but my Cove loves my MC - they've lived together for the past five years, he was there to pick up the pieces in Baxters wake, MC went 110% all his personal quests so he's committed okay - they hug clingy, they have pets.

So, seeing that moment that initally broke MC about to replay itself right before his very eyes has got to be the angriest this soft boy has ever been. "The anger of a gentle man" and all that, you get me?

I just live for shit like that - just, yes please. *chef's kiss*

#baxter dlc #olba spoilers #ol:ba spoilers #ol:ba #olba #our life beginnings and always #ol baxter #ol cove #baxter ward #cove holden #iwrite rambles #spoilers

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

wait, so, someone tell me if I'm wrong here:

Baxter is 3? Years older than MC in Now & Forever? (I've only played through once and have a shit memory lmao) MC is 10 which, I believe, makes him 13 right?

He's one year older than the MC in Beginnings & Always. So that makes him 14 in the step 2 scene, since MC is 13.

That also makes him 17 in the Now & Forever step 2 scenes, since 4 years have passed, I believe, while MC and group are all 14.

Like, damn 😂 Poor boy wasn't kidding when he said he started to feel the age gap after a few years. I mean, I laugh because the sudden change in dynamic for kids to teens is CRAZY when you think about it but also, that must have been rough for all of them too 🥲 jeeze.

Like, don't get me wrong here. It's, in my opinion, perfectly normal to have a 3-5 year age gap between friends when you're growing up. That is just the experience of the school system (which is usually designed in facilities of that age range) at work. Grade school, High school, etc. We can also take into account that it's a small town, which adds another level to familiarity with people outside of your peer group and makes that acceptable age gap even larger. Typically, anyways.

But, we also know that your teen years are very hard when it comes to finding where you fit, and that social norms dictate a lot of really stupid things and pressure people into boxes they're not made to fit for the sake of 'harmony'. So it's really kind of sad when you think about it, how it must have felt to be in Baxter's shoes once he noticed that difference between him and his friends 😞 I wonder how much of an impact things like that play in the overall story, honestly 🤔 Qiu is the youngest out of all the boys too, after all, so how are they inevitably affected by it?

It's food for thought anyways 😂 controversy surrounding age gaps has always really pissed me off, as someone who grew up with a lot of much older friends (3-70 year age gaps) and younger ones too, once I was also finally considered old. The wealth of knowledge two people who are possible generations apart from each other can take and learn and apply is so important to people as a species but everyone thinks age gaps are cringe and sus so I guess we'll just continue to grow stupider rather than stronger 🤷 oh well.

I'm interested to see what kind of dialogue the game uses with this. It could be an excellent plot point in the right hands! I hope that it doesn't fall into the same potholes most things do but, we'll just have to see.

#by extension to this thought #I've realized that the age gap between #Ai and Micha #is actually 2 years instead of 1 lol #which means that if I put Ai at 6 years old #at the time of the car crash #then Micha would've been 4 #which is about as young as I think I can allow #for him to survive it lmao #iwrite rambles #iwrite posts #olba #ol:ba #olnf #ol:nf #ol baxter #baxter ward #our life baxter #olba baxter #baxter #olnf baxter #our life beginnings and always #our life #our life now and forever

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

We've done it boys!😭it took us all night but we have a bean bb!!

Look at him, look at my little Micha -gently holds- he's just so precious

I say this knowing full well he's an absolute bastard child, tbh😂very closed off but also has no filter, so people think he's either shy and awkward or just rude; but the truth is that he just doesn't know what he's feeling most of the time - unless he's angry, he knows what that feels like! He gets angry a lot, mostly at his mom ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he'll grow out of it one day!

He really likes Tamarak and Qiu though, so he sticks to them both like glue (especially Qiu). He also like the boys well enough too (does not like his teacher) and is pretty neutral to everyone else he's met so far.

I don't think I can actually go into the details until the game itself releases 🤔So I'll just leave the exposé there for now. The rest will be up to your imagination while we wait 😘 Enjoy~!

#olnf #ol:nf #our life: now & forever #our life now and forever #our life #qiu lin #tamarack baumann #olnf oc #olnf mc #mc michael #iwrite art #iwrite rambles #iwrite posts #character design

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

I would guess part of the comment issues in ol1 are the lack of a jealousy system like nobody can react or make comments because there is no jealousy at all I am hoping it is more natural in ol2 with there being 2 main lis plus an actual jealousy system even if it is optional

There is a little bit of jealousy! But it's all mainly in Step 1 and your typical kiddy jealousy😂 it's also just me splitting hairs really, but I get where you're coming from lol. It's not actually jealousy I'm looking for, honestly. I personally despise jealousy in any aspect for my own reasons, though I do get what you mean and I'm depressingly aware of how prominent jealousy is in the situation I've given😔

What I'm more looking for is upset - and I mean that in the most clinical definition of the word: to make (someone) unhappy, disappointed, or worried; to knock (something) over. (ie. to disturbe or unbalance)

LMAO, this got long, so I'll throw it under a cut!

Basically, Sunset Bird is the place where nothing happens and everything stays the same, until Baxter comes in and upsets the norm. The game writes many times that he's disturbed the peace and many characters respond to that in various different ways - mostly positive and slightly negative on Cove's part specifically. You, as the MC, have the option to take it as positively or negatively as you choose, of course!

I have a suspicion that, if MC takes it negatively then maybe others would too but, I don't play that route personally and it isn't really the point I'm getting at either. I want to see that upset happen, even in a positive viewpoint MC. I want to see Cove upset because MC has been flirting with him for possibly several years and he has been flirting back and he and everyone understandably thought you both had something, only to see you fall for Baxter like a rock in a stream, the moment he turns your head. It's not specifically jealousy I'm looking for, it's hurt and confusion and/or a need for answers from the people that surround MC and find their expectations suddenly trampled on.

"What about us/Cove?" is a very real question that should be there yet just isn't 🤷

An example of where the game actually did do this: The protectiveness from your family, that was A+ on the game's part but there wasn't enough of it, in my opinion. There should have been more worried dialogue from at least your family, if not your friends. Cove also has one moment where he complains about how he doesn't like Baxter flirting with the both of you but, again, that's not actually touching on the subject of MC so much as it is the both of you. It's also before any dating can occure so Cove is still 'intact' as it were... So I would honestly even consider that situation void because it happened before the flag triggering can changed him.

Even in Step 4, this trend continues! [violently rips out hair] There are scenes that should have such a bigger reaction out of characters but simply just don't because the mechanic for upset is entirely lacking!! It drives me crazy yo😭there's no deep 'sit down' conversation at all in so many places and it makes the emotions that the really good parts of the story pull out of you feel so cheap in comparison!

Awaaahhhhh... This has just turned into me complaining lmaooo

My apologies😂I know there isn't anything to be done that can change it, currently, but it does just really upset me. In fact, how I'm talking about it here is exactly what I would have loved to see in the dialogue of the game!

The desperateness, the desire for answers, the deep meaningful conversations, just- [clenches fist] Yes. Everything would feel so much more grounded and real and immersive if they just let MC sit down and have a talk with these people about everything and have feelings get resolved and see bonds strengthen!!! It would be so Good!!!

Instead, I must sit here, depressed while Cove laughs off several years of character development like "ha ha okay then bro, very funny" like😭😭😭What happend to you, my sweat summer bean???

#iwrite answers #iwrite replies #anon #baxter dlc #our life beginnings and always #ol:ba #olba #ol cove #our life beginnings & always #cove holden #baxter ward #ol baxter #iwrite rambles #sorry I just have FEELINGS #long post

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

How dare Cove Holden have such soft and beautiful eyes actually

#every goddamn time #I look at that goddamned face #I am made to suffer #he's so beautiful #UGH #just kill me now #ol:ba #olba #our life beginnings and always #cove holden #ol cove #iwrite rambles

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

Oh! I've been meaning to post this: My Step 3 + Baxter DLC Playthrough

—

Hang

Serendipity Talks

Sightseeing

Reflections Late Shift

Drinks

Errands Boating

Planning

Drive Charity

Mountain

Happiness

—

I wanted to share, just in case anyone else is interested in using it. For added reference: MC wasn't employed (for more B-man time during Late Shift) and my Cove had a warm personality, they also both volunteered.

When I did this playthrough, I actually really loved how the order had made things feel, it was pretty organic to me, and I'll definitely be using it again when I do my next runthrough and refine the experience.

I think, for Baxter's DLC, it's best to have Planning and Mountain as your last two events because it makes the introduction and references in Step 4 wonderfully emotional in the reading but, that's ultimately up to you! What I will add, as an off note, is that I know at least one episode in the middle somewhere probably could be switched around, but I can't honestly recall which one it is lmao - I'll have to mention it later when I find it, I guess.

#ol:ba #olba #our life beginnings and always #iwrite rambles #ol cove #ol baxter #our life beginnings & always #cove holden #baxter ward #baxter dlc #playthrough

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

@astro-2003 @ancient-romes @karaonasi @purplespacefairy

My apologies!!!😭I just woke up.

I mixed up what was available to me with public knowledge! I've priveted the post and I'll go ask those who have reblogged it to delete it as well, my bad!

I'll keep an eye out for that in the future ;///; I suppose I just got lost in the excitement and moment of water in a dryspell of creativity.

#iwrite replies #iwrite rambles

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

posting this bit of the ramble separately from this post (just to keep it a neutral reference) but, I will say, the greatest drawback to Baxter's DLC - and Dereks by extension, I expect - so far is that, even a fully romantically invested Cove just... shuts off??? the moment the other romance is turned on.

rant below, btw:

Like, my MC has had strong feelings ever since day one for a Mr. Cove Holden and I have absolutely nurtured those feelings in Cove just as strongly so that it was very mutual and pretty well known by both them and everyone around them by the time that Baxter actually showed up. So, to see that all just get deleted flat out from the characters like bleach on the brain - It was just, I don't know.. Disappointing?

And I mean, as much as it hurts me personally, I do understand that most people still find polyamory pretty cringe and avoid it - and though I don't agree with that mindset at all purely because it's so non-inclusive to who I am, I'm still not very surprised when I don't find it in the media I ingest either. It's just a sad acknowledgement that I'm always left being aware of.

But like, to straight up just not acknowledge previous romantic feelings in the face of a new relationship at all just feels so entirely fake to me. Like, it broke my immersion completely on several occasions because characters just start acting like they haven't been talking about the obvious feelings you two have for each other for the past several years. The fact that you can't even have an open dialogue of "Oh, what about Cove?" with anyone else is just very ridiculous to me.

Cove also straight up just doesn't have any strong reactions to you anymore and, though I could suspend belief on anyone else having that switch because they were just keeping quiet about shit to try and be polite, I straight up just cannot believe Cove-I feel everything-Holden could just stop blushing or crushing or loving you like that when you are actively still very touchy and very loving towards him at every chance you get. Especially not if you still choose to flirt with him - that 'laughing it off' behavior can only possibly work if you were previously just friends, it does not work when you both clearly have feelings for each other. There should be something there, is what I'm saying, for the sake of immersion if nothing else.

Anyways, this is getting long, lmao.

Suffice to say that I'm not at all surprised I don't get to be poly (even in such an otherwise inclusive game) I'm used to that, which is really a sad thing to say but, there it is. I am, however, pretty goddamned miffed that there was no dialogue or follow up or anything to make the transition between 'Clearly Romancing Cove' to 'Clearly Romancing Baxter' a more realistic and organic experience. That history should not just outright be deleted. If they could make it that Derek still seems to have some feelings for you in Cove's whole romance route, then Cove should also be given that too. Otherwise, it just kind of leaves an unhappy taste in my mouth, y'know?

#these are just my personal feelings #I know people think and feel differently #so like #don't come at me lmao #I'm mostly just venting #personal #iwrite rambles #iwrite rants #ol cove #olba #our life beginnings and always #ol baxter #our life beginnings & always #ol:ba #cove holden #baxter ward #baxter dlc #review #I guess

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

@organized-chaotic-disaster I totally see what you mean 😭 (tho I haven’t played the Derek or Baxter DLCs myself). Tbh I think the main reason you can’t be poly is the fact that it would be hard to implement in an already complex game with high customization of your experience, especially since it’s written by one person— idk how they’d do that tbh. And I know GB has gone on record to say that Cove wouldn’t be down for a poly relationship, but it still sucks to not have the option. I understand why poly relationships aren’t really a thing in games— a combination of monogamy being the norm irl and the difficulty in implementing the mechanic itself —but I hope one day those barriers can be broken down so it becomes an option 😭 And sorry if any of this comes across as me coming for you or something, that’s not my intention!!! I just had some thoughts I wanted to share. Overall I definitely agree that things like this could and should be handled better, and hopefully will be with future games with dateable NPCs— I’d love to explore that myself, and I wish I could with OL.

[original post]

Mm, It's certainly not impossible to add in those features [the FH series, for example, is a single writer and they've added in poly options upon fan requests] but, I can understand not wanting to put the extra work in yeah, especially since the creator has been saying for a while now that "this is the last thing I'll do for olba" like, they seem to be really trying to move on to the next project, so I get it.

It's also why I don't expect to ever get any resolution for this😔but it still does make me very sad because I really do love this game so much, it's one of the few forms of media out there that make me feel comfortable/understood/safe with myself and the lack of a poly option really takes away from that feeling quite a bit.

My main gripe though is that there isn't any conversation at all about it. Like, that just takes away from the experience of the game.

Once you choose to date Baxter, everyone just goes 'Error 404' on you and seems to outright forget that you were basically setting up to and expected to marry Cove. That, to me, reads like a failing of writing.

Like, there should be some dialogue, y'know? Cove should be able to question your relationship, even in a round-about and self-concious/self-serving way, there should be some tension there where he has to tackle his very real feelings for you and you can possibly do the same for him but, there's just none. Like, if you flirt with him in Step 2, have that romantic tension carry over to Step 3 he shouldn't be able to just shrug off all his feelings instantly. Feelings don't work that way, bro😂It just bugs me that it's so inorganic and unable to be explored. Cove and MC have a lot of history, they should be able to talk about it in every aspect, y'know?

Also! Not ranting at you specifically, lmao! I'm just sharing my feelings. Thank you so much for replying to me, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts! It's also just nice to see that someone out there also wants the poly options like me🥺we got too much love in our wee little hearts for this single romance bs lmaooo

I lowkey wish there was a mod community for games like these😂ngl, it'd be nice to just have a mod that ignored certain flags or something so that you could at least have the romantic tension still there with Cove while you romance someone else. It doesn't fix the lack of dialogue option but it'd be better than the clear and noticable lack of what was clearly there before. At least then it'd be easier to pretend there was something to bite into lol

#iwrite replies #organized-chaotic-disaster #olba #ol:ba #our life beginnings and always #our life beginnings & always #poly #polymance #ol cove #ol baxter #cove holden #baxter ward #baxter dlc #iwrite rambles #iwrite rants