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#sirius black arranged marriage
miryum · 4 months
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A Green and Silver Ring (Mattheo Riddle x Reader)
An arranged marriage between you and Mattheo, one that might lead to something beautiful
Word Count: 10.3k
I know I haven't posted in a long time but I have a plan trust the process. Also, this is me coming out and saying that I love Mattheo Riddle and he's amazing
Warnings: Swearing, bad and manipulative parenting from both Mattheo and reader’s parents, a lot of misogyny (a bit from Mattheo but he gets better by a lot and it’s not that bad), arguments, Tom isn’t Mattheo’s brother and Tom is a creep, arranged marriage, one bed trope, enemies to lovers, greek mythology reference, talk of kids, needing kids to carry on family lines, and kids. Mistress is the feminine term for master (so reader isn’t Mattheo’s side piece when I refer to her as mistress), old timey talk a bit, reader is a bookworm
From the desk of Ginevra
My dearest friend,
My parents have informed me of your engagement. I was ecstatic, yet surprised, when I heard the news. I was of the assumption that your parents were allowing you to choose your husband as your family line is secure in your brother and his wife. Yet, once I learned who your husband-to-be is, I was trepidatious. 
My thoughts are with you, my darling friend, and I pray for you to write to me the moment you get my letter. 
I hate to break the news, but you and your fiancé are the talk of high society. Never before have two such families been intertwined. Even I have had to scold my brothers for their gossip. They seem to forget that our families are close friends. 
I do not ask why your parents have made such a decision. I know they are intelligent adults and surely must have a motive, but I admit that I am blind in that regard. Your engagement seems sudden and unwarranted to me. When questioned, my mother sighed and said I would understand when I grew older. My mother continues to baffle me. I have borne two children and a third on the way! If I am not mature now, I better gain some knowledge quickly. 
Always remember that I am by your side. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you. I am sure Harry will agree. 
I love you, my friend.
Ginny
From the office of Lorenzo
Miss. L/n,
I believe we’ve never been formally introduced. I’m saddened to say that this letter is as formal as we’ll get - at least until your wedding. I am sure you must be taciturn and mercurial as of now. My father has told me much about you and I believe we’ll make excellent friends and confidants in our hectic world. 
You’re to be my new half-sister, aren’t you? My relatives and friends are petulant to meet you. 
Before any rumours (either about myself or your fiancé) hit your ears, I’ll put a rest to them. Bellatrix, your fiancé’s mother, had an affair with my father. They produced me and in return, I have the privilege of being your fiancé’s half-brother. 
Being a bastard child, I’m no stranger to being ostracised and ridiculed. To be blunt, I’m sure that you will be ostracised alongside me and I believe that is one reason we can connect. 
For rumours of my half-brother, I simply say this: do not fear him. He relishes in the consternation he places in other people, yet when he heard he was to marry you, I saw panic in his eyes like no other. It seems the tables have turned. He is hesitant to be wed, but you are not the problem. He simply doesn’t want to have the responsibility of another’s life on his. Your fiancé is used to belittling people - not supporting them as a husband should.
Any questions you have about your fiancé and my half-brother (whom in case I didn’t make clear, are one and the same), refer to me without any qualms. I am eager to meet you and hopefully make your transition into the Riddle family smoother.
I am well aware you have also lived your life in the upper echelons of society. But, as I’m sure you know, there are multiple circles in our complicated community. The L/ns, the Weasleys, and the Potters, for example, have grown their fortunes truthfully and innocently. They have earned the respect of their people and those whom they employ. The Riddles, Blacks, and Berkshires, on the other hand, have climbed the ranks in unconventional means and by skipping a few rungs on the ladder. They thrive and make their living on the terror and duress they cause those under them.
I’m looking forward to making your acquaintance.
Lorenzo Berkshire
P.S. I hope I haven’t scared you off.
From the office of L/n
Daughter,
You’ll be pleased to hear the engagement has gone through. Your mother and I met your fiancé last night. He seems like a nice man. He will be able to provide for you. His family is influential.
We will return home late tomorrow evening. You will depart for Riddle Estate in a week. Begin packing. 
Your father
From the desk of Ginevra
Y/n,
You worry me with your lack of communication. Usually, you can’t wait to gossip with me. We have such fun at dinners and balls, yet with the most important aspect of yourself, you don’t respond. I’m simply worried, my friend. Are you alright? I can envision you curled in your bed, not letting anyone, even your nursemaid, into your room. Please do not let your impending marriage affect your state of health. It will turn out alright. Everyone I know (even me!) had apprehensions about their marriage. And with everyone I know, it turned out alright. 
Misters Sirius and Remus visited Harry and I the day before last. They came to see James and Albus, but I know there was a hidden reason as well. They know of our friendship and came to ask if the rumours are true. As much as my husband adores them, Sirius in particular can be prone to gossip. The pair tittered and tsked when I told them of your fiancé. Sirius wishes to distance himself from his family, and I know he has pre-existing thoughts of the Black family, and by extension, the Riddles.
Sometimes I take a moment to gaze at the family tree upon my drawing room wall. It is full of interconnected lines and squiggles that sometimes, it makes my head hurt! The web of family ties is complicated and if we’re not somehow related already, I know that we will be once your marriage takes place. It seems the Black family spreads its roots into the Weasley family and the Riddle family- the latter of which you’ll soon be synonymous with.
Give yourself some grace. Your fiancé falls far from the tree; I am sure of it.
Please write to me. I need to make sure my closest friend is doing well. 
Best wishes, 
Ginny
P.S. Hermione wishes to inform you that, from what she’s heard, your Mr. Riddle is quite attractive. I have yet to hear any of the rumours  myself, but at least your husband will be pleasing to the eye. Perhaps it will make the marriage more bearable. 
***
Mattheo strode leisurely through Riddle Manor. It was one of the many estates his family owned, and it was soon to be officially his. Just as soon as he married the L/n girl.
The manor was spacious, which Mattheo couldn’t help but detest. How was he and a wife supposed to fill this void of empty rooms and dark halls? He knew servants and cooks would move in, but they wouldn’t occupy the dozens of upper rooms that were vacated. 
For a brief moment, Mattheo couldn’t help but envision a set of children running around the halls. One of the children would run up to him, shouting, “Papa! Papa!” Mattheo would scoop the child up, grinning, and would carry them to their room. The room would be bright and cheerful, and maybe, just maybe, you would be sitting on a settee, cradling a newborn or helping an older child with their school work.
But for now, the room was dark and uninviting and he had yet to meet his future wife. He had seen a portrait of the L/n family and while they were in lavish, colourful clothing, Mr. and Mrs. L/n seemed cold and stoic - just like his parents. The children, an older son and younger daughter (whom he presumed to be you), seemed kinder and by their body language, Mattheo could tell that the two siblings were close. 
Mattheo slowly made his way down the hall. There were three wings of the manor; two were residential and the other was designed for taking guests. The East Wing - in which he and Miss. L/n would stay - was also fit with an office for him. He was expected to take over half of the family business once he got married. The West Wing would remain empty for now, sans for a large library and the furniture in the bedrooms. 
The boy knew that his bride was to arrive later that day. She would stay at Riddle Estate until the end of the week. Just three short days before they were to be wed in name. Mattheo would move into Riddle Manor tonight, giving servants time to wipe the dust off of tables, shine the silverware, and fluff the pillows. 
Mattheo walked the halls of his new home. His mind was devoid of any thoughts. Perhaps it was simply because he was always numb. Even when he heard of his engagement, Mattheo didn’t make a fuss. He didn’t remember thinking anything. Nothing such as ‘Oh, I can’t wait to meet her!’ or even, ‘I can’t believe mother and father are arranging my marriage! She better be obedient.’ 
No, Mattheo had thought nothing of the sort. He had spent his childhood quietly observing his father and mother, noticing the amount of fear they could inflict on people just by silence. You didn’t have to be loud and dramatic to be powerful. You simply couldn’t be afraid to follow up on your promises - however deadly they were. 
The only question Mattheo had asked when Bellatrix informed him of his engagement was, “and what do we gain from the L/n’s?”
Bellatrix had shot him an callous and apathetic look. “Do not ask questions you needn’t the answers to, boy.” 
Mattheo had glowered, but shut his mouth. 
As he neared the foyer, Mattheo couldn’t help but think how marriage was a component in all aspects of his life. When he got married to the L/n girl, he would inherit a portion of his father’s estates, company, and wealth. Mattheo chucked to himself. Maybe he should’ve gotten married sooner.
***
“Pray tell, why weren’t you here when she arrived?” Bellatrix snarled as she gripped Mattheo’s arm. Her nails dug into his suit as she dragged him towards the drawing room.
“I was busy,” Mattheo replied harshly. Love was not a thing that came instinctively to his family. 
“Doing what? Planning your suidide?” Bellatrix scoffed. “I would march to the Underworld and choke Hades to bring you back.” Mattheo glanced down at his mother, hesitantly surprised. But he knew better than to raise his hopes and dreams. “We need this contract with the L/n’s,” Bellatrix continued and Mattheo’s jaw ticked. Of course. She didn’t love him; she never had. Her son was purely business. He should’ve known better.
“Maybe if you would tell me what the L/n’s provide for us,” Mattheo pulled Bellatrix back before she threw open the door to where you were. “Then I would be more complacent.”
Bellatrix sneered. “You think you’re smart, boy. You think you have everything figured out in that pretty little head of yours. But remember: you’re nothing without the Riddle family name backing you up.” She paused and licked her lips. “But if you must know,” Bellatrix sighed, giving into Mattheo. “The L/n’s just came into some very… lucrative land that we could gain from if you marry Miss. Y/n L/n.”
Mattheo’s eyes flickered to the drawing room door. After a moment, he asked, “is that her name? Y/n?” 
Bellatrix stared at him, aghast. “You didn’t bother to learn her name?!” She scoffed. “With a son like you…” 
She pushed open the drawing room doors and Mattheo trudged after her, muttering, “at least I know her name now.”
You had been waiting for seven minutes and thirty nine seconds in the drawing room of Riddle Estate, the trackage of time dependent on the old grandfather clock standing ominously in the corner. Its pendulum swung back and forth continuously as its second hand ticked by. Mrs. Riddle had left seven minutes and thirty nine seconds ago to fetch her son. 
While the room was perfectly clean, not a speck of dust on even the highest chandelier, it was still a cold and morose room, yet oddly epochal. The wood was the darkest mahogany you had ever seen and the lights cast odd shadows on the dark green wallpaper that had inlays of gold.
Your teacup that you were trying to hold steady was filled with a sad excuse for tea. There was a ring of gold around the mouth of the teacup. On the table beside you, a notch that looked as if someone dug a knife into the surface caught your attention. It was the little things like this that you noticed when you had nothing else to do. Your mind was trying to distract you.
The door then swung open and there stood your fiancé, his stare daring you to oppose him.
“Uh,” you stood, your teacup and saucer still in hand. You quickly placed them on the table, right over the knife nick. “Y/n L/n,” you introduced yourself. You bowed your head in an informal curtsy. 
Mattheo’s eyes flickered over your face. “Mattheo Riddle,” he said coldly. His voice was practically velvet. You didn’t mean to look him up and down, but you couldn’t help it. He was to be your husband, after all.
Mattheo’s hair coiled at the end and his eyes were just as dark as his curls. His nose had a scarred cut on it that looked as if it was just beginning to heal. Your fiancés cheekbones were practically sculpted from marble and for a moment, you believed that the gods had simply breathed life into a statue. Did this make you Pygmalion and Mattheo Galatea?
If it weren’t for their lethal eyes and stern posture, perhaps more would be friendly to the Riddles.
Mattheo spoke, “you’re to be my fiancée.” It wasn’t a question. 
“Yes.” You had the urge to add ‘sir’ at the end, but you bit your tongue. 
Bellatrix hissed something to Mattheo and thrust a small object into his hands. Mattheo rolled his eyes and stalked towards you. “My family ring,” he grumbled. He held out an intricate silver ring with three bands interweaving. A green jewel cut into a thin diamond shape sat steadily in the middle. “It has been in the Riddle family for generations. It’s tradition to pass it down to the wife of the firstborn son. And now that is you…” 
He trailed off and handed the ring to you, it laying flat on his palm. You took it from him, trying to minimise contact with Mattheo. You nodded in thanks and slid it into your ring finger. 
It seemed too concrete to fathom.
Mattheo stared at the ring on your finger. A muscle jumped in his jaw. “My… wife,” he murmured halfheartedly.
***
Three weeks had passed since the wedding and it was as if you had never gotten married in the first place. Yes, it was unsettling to wake up in a bed that wasn’t your own next to a man that you were supposed to call your own. But other than necessary, Mattheo had hardly uttered a word to you.
In the three weeks you had stayed there, you had seen Mattheo a total of twenty eight times, including mornings and nights when you were forced to sleep in the same bed. 
Your mornings, afternoons, and nights were all incredibly boring. You took long meals, pushing your food around. Sometimes you just sat by the window and watched the wind blow bits of grass and dirt past the window. The servants were still extracting the dust between the couch cushions and you tried to stay out of the way, but it only made you feel more isolated.
Mattheo was holed up in his office day in and day out. He had now inherited a large portion of his father’s company and Mattheo was determined to uphold the honour bestowed upon him. He had drafted contracts, sold and bought land, and even hosted a few dinner parties for his associates. 
You detested the dinner parties. Thankfully, Mattheo had yet to invite you to one - hell, he had yet to speak to you about the dinner parties. You had learned of the first dinner party when you had wandered downstairs one late evening because you were thirsty. You had stared at the group of strangers, all dressed in elegance, as they stared back at you in your night clothes. Not saying a word, you had sighed and returned upstairs.
You hadn’t been eager for the marriage, but wouldn't it befit Mattheo to show some affection? Or at least acknowledge your presence?
While you had continuously tried to get your husband to open up to you, his answers had been short and venomous.
It had been a long, monotonous day for you. You had returned to the master bedroom about two hours earlier than you normally would have if you were at home.
With the wealth that you came from, the opulence was sure to be evident, but you had underestimated the Riddle family’s prestige. When Mattheo had first shown you your shared bedroom, you had to allow a flicker of surprise break through your facade. The bedroom was larger than any room in your old home and had a large bed in the middle. The lamps on the bedside table were always dimly lit and the design of the room was the same as the rest of the house - dark and bereft of love and care. 
Your hair had been brushed enough, but you kept brushing simply for something to do while Mattheo finished up in the bathroom. Mattheo walked out of the ensuite with a towel wrapped around his waist. His curls were plastered to his forehead and a bead of water ran down his sternum.
Your eyes flickered to his figure through the mirror, taking in the dips and curves of Mattheo’s muscles as he silently got ready for bed. You tore your gaze away, berating yourself.
You built up your courage and tried to think of a conversation starter. You commented, “my parents wrote to me today.” After no reply from Mattheo, you continued, “they asked me when we would give them grandchildren.” You set your hairbrush down and stared at Mattheo through the mirror, looking for some sort of reaction.
Mattheo hummed noncommittally and put on some sleep pants. He used his towel to begin drying his hair. “It would be behoove us to produce some heirs,” he spoke. His tone was dismissive, as if children were nothing more than an obligation or duty to fulfil.
“Right,” you muttered, knowing that an uninterested reaction was all you were going to get out of him. 
You stood and moved towards the bed. “Goodnight,” you whispered, turning off the bedside lamp and tucking yourself into bed. Mattheo was still putting on his nightclothes and had yet to get into bed.
As you turned off the light and got into bed, Mattheo finished drying himself off and slid into his own pyjamas. He sat down beside you, but didn't bother turning off his own lamp. Instead, he laid against the headboard, reading a book. "Goodnight," he finally mumbled, not even looking at you.
You curled into your blanket. After a moment, you asked quietly, “what book are you reading?”
He looked at you over the top of his book. "None of your business," he replied curtly.
You simply uttered, “okay.” 
Mattheo felt an unwanted and unusual feeling root itself deep in his stomach. He scoffed and said sarcastically, "fine. Go ahead and keep asking questions all night long if it amuses you so." He opened his book again and pretended to read.
A longing and lonely pang resonated in your chest at his harsh words. You didn’t respond and instead turned your face into your pillow. You had known that your marriage was to be loveless, but it still hurt at every unspoken word. Perhaps, if you had been five years younger when you married Mattheo, your spirit would still be alive with the juvenile belief that you could stand up to him.
Mattheo huffed and his gaze turned up to stare at the wall ahead of him. “If you’re so miserable, then why don’t you just leave?” he snapped, not even bothering to hide his bitterness. “I am sure your family would simply love to have you back.” He flipped another page in his book, not even bothering to look at the printed words.
“I never said I was miserable,” you answered quietly, even though Mattheo knew it wasn’t true. Perhaps, though, you believed it to be true. You took a steadying breath, closing your eyes.
Your husband smirked and leaned against the headboard. “What do you call your attitude, then? Why are you so downtrodden and defeated? Surely, you can’t blame me for being frustrated by it.” He knew that he should be taking account of making you feel this way, but he still tried to justify his behaviour. 
“Goodnight,” you reiterated. 
Mattheo sighed dramatically. “Whatever,” he grunted. He closed his book, threw it on the nightstand, and turned off his lamp. The room was encased in darkness except for the dim moonlight coming through the window. He shifted towards the edge of the bed, making sure a noticeable gap was between the two of you. 
He thought back to your conversation. “Why don’t you just leave?” 
It was too late now to apologise.
***
Mattheo let the door swing shut behind him, returning to Riddle Manor after an outing with friends. He glanced around, waiting for a servant to take his coat, but no one answered. An eyebrow cocked, Mattheo slowly walked up the stairs, hearing you instruct the servants on something, every other sentence of yours either containing, ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Up on the landing, he found you directing a servant who was pulling a rack of your clothing. “What the hell are you doing?” he demanded. “Have you lost your damn mind? Are you trying to send a message or something?” 
“You’ve made it perfectly clear that you have no interest in me, so I’m trying to make this marriage as civilised as possible,” you said diplomatically. “I believe that if I move to the West Wing and leave you in the East Wing, it will benefit our marriage.”
“What exactly do you hope to accomplish with this piteous attempt at attention?” he asked rhetorically. “Do you think it’ll make me want you more?” He stuck his tongue in his cheek, grinning incredulously. “You’re delusional if you think that’s even remotely possible.” He stepped closer to you, towering over you with anger in his eyes. “This is not some game, L/n. This is marriage. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.” 
“I’m aware that we’re married, Riddle,” you retorted. “And don’t refer to me by L/n anymore. I am now a Riddle - just like you. However, I am not going to live in a state of constant sorrow and dejection. Having a wing of the mansion to myself may help.” 
Mattheo’s jaw tightened as he stared at you, irritated by your resistance. “Fine,” he growled. “But don’t expect me to come running after you when you decide you want attention. You’re on your own now.” He turned away from you and walked into his now solo bedroom. “Just remember - this is your choice.” 
You felt your anger inflate. “I thought you would like this!” Your voice rose and you tugged a hand through your hair. It was the first time in your marriage that you had fought back. “I have done everything I can to please you, yet nothing is enough for you!” Your voice turned desperate. “What do you want from me?”
He stopped in his tracks, turning around with surprise and disgust on his face. “Dammit, Y/n! Don’t yell at me like that!” His voice thundered, stepping towards you. “I never asked for any of this! I didn’t ask for a wife or for you to try so hard to please me! All of this is ridiculous.” His hand slashed through the air to make a point. “All I want is some space. Space to figure out what the hell I want. But let’s make one thing clear: I don’t care about you.”
“Am I not giving you space?” Your fists clenched at your sides. “I am moving out of the bedroom and out of your way. Yet, you erupt at me and get angry over nothing! You send me mixed messages and I don’t know what to do.”
Mattheo took a breath, trying to regain control over his emotions. “I am not erupting! Lord, you are so sensitive!” he snapped, running a hand over his face. “Can’t you listen for once? I am not sending you mixed signals. I am trying to figure out my place in this unorthodox situation we’re in.”
After a beat of silence, you asked firmly, “did you talk about me?” After seeing a flicker of confusion on his face, you clarified, “when you were out with your friends, did you talk about me? Did you rant about how annoying I was? Did you complain about marriage?”
His lips parted before taking a breath. “Yes, I talked about you,” he admitted begrudgingly. “I complained about how frustrating I find you and how frustrated I am with my parents for arranging this senseless marriage.”
“What did they say?” you insisted. “Did they sympathise? Did they laugh at me? Did they add fuel to your fire by commenting about how… how ‘needy’ and ‘sensitive’ I am?”
Mattheo made a low sound in his chest and rubbed his temples, frustrated by your persistence. “They agreed with me, yes. A few believed that you are too emotionally attached and sentimental. Others chalked it up to the pains of an average marriage.”
Your anger flared up and you said, “Let me tell you this: I never wanted marriage either. But I at least tried. I tried to be a nice and loving wife and a kind human.” You turned on your heel, marching out of the bedroom and towards the West Wing.
Mattheo watched you go, an unwanted feeling of guilt washing over him. He sighed and walked over to the window. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “Why is everything so damn complicated?”
For the next couple of weeks, you stayed true to your word. You avoided Mattheo and his office and stayed in your wing of the mansion. After a week or two, you decided to explore the mansion, stumbling upon a magnificent library. You inhaled in veneration when someone cleared their throat. Mattheo stood behind you, raising an brow. After a silence, you said recalcitrantly, “you never told me that Riddle Manor had a library.”
He smirked at your thinly veiled hatred, amused despite himself. “Well, now you know,” he said dryly. “It’s a perk of living in a Riddle household.” He walked over to a bookshelf and began browsing for a book he required for a contract that was being drafting. He showed no sign of embarrassment or discomfort at your presence. “You may use it whenever you want. But don’t expect me to join a book club or anything juvenile.”
“I would never dream of it,” you said sarcastically. You step further into the library and can’t help but gape at the vastness. You trailed your fingers over the book spines, breathing in the smell of old books. You crouched down to examine a series of poetry titles. “I can read any of these?” you asked hesitantly.
He nodded and leaned against the shelf behind him, crossing his arms over his chest. “Feel free to read whatever you would like. They’re here for the entire household. Well, the servants don’t have time to read books, so in a Riddle household, the parents and children use the library the most.” Your hand faltered over the titles. “If you find something that catches your eye, go ahead and take it. I won’t stop you.” There was a hint of curiosity in his voice, as if he wished to know what topics and books piqued your interest. You hummed quietly, not fully acknowledging his words. You were already picking up a book and leafing through it. Mattheo watched you for a moment, his eyes softening briefly.
Everyday, you returned to the library. It was an escape from the walls of your room and the walls that Mattheo had put up around his heart.
Eventually, the servants recognised your routine and began to start a fire in the fireplace to keep you warm. They moved a loveseat in front of the fire that you gratefully used. You devoured the poetry collection, including Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe, and started on the classics. Every once in a while, Mattheo would come into the library, but he wouldn’t talk. He simply took a book and returned to his study. Sometimes, you wondered if he remembered you lived in the mansion with him. 
Mattheo found himself frequenting the library more often, looking for books he had never needed before. A swell of pride filled him whenever he saw you by the fire, knowing that something in his home brought you such comfort. He still refused to speak to you, maintaining distance and ignoring your existence, but he found himself increasingly drawn to your presence. 
One day, on a whim, he decided to take a risk and left a stack of his favourite books on the table next to your chair. That afternoon, you found the stack of books. You smiled despite yourself, though you didn't make any comment to Mattheo. You picked up the first book, sat down in the chair, and began to read.
A week later, Mattheo was hosting a dinner party for his associates. He didn’t say a word about it to you, though you heard the servants preparing for it. You decided not to go, opting to stay in your safe haven of the library. 
After an hour or so of faint music, you heard the door to the library squeak open and your head whipped up. You saw one of Mattheo’s friends, Tom, enter and look around. He spotted you and his lips curled up into a smirk. “So you’re the wife we’ve heard so much about?” 
Your stomach clenched and you replied, “I guess so.”
Tom’s smirk grew wider as he took in your terse response, enjoying your obvious discomfort. He approached you with a lecherous gaze in his eyes before asking, “and how do you find life as Mrs. Riddle? Are you enjoying your… arrangement?” His words dripped with sarcasm, not believing for a moment that you and Mattheo were married for love.
You stared at him. “It has its perks,” you said simply.
Tom laughed derisively at your response, not convinced by your nonchalance. “And what are those perks?” he asked, moving closer to you. “Extravagant gifts? Luxurious vacations? Or simply the privilege of being married to such a powerful man?”
You squared your shoulders. “I am powerful without a man,” you said sharply. “I do not need a man to determine my worth and prowess.”
Tom scoffed. “Really? How exactly did you become powerful on your own?” he asked, challenging you. “I find it hard to believe that you could ever achieve anything significant without the backing of a powerful husband behind you.” He leaned in closer, grinning.
You closed your book with a snap. “The L/n family,” you said, talking of your maiden lineage, “has had control over many estates and affairs for decades. Without Mattheo Riddle, I would’ve inherited half of it, second only to my brother. I would’ve had four auspicious companies at my ready disposal, capable of doing most anything. So, yes, sir, I would have been momentous without him.”
Tom’s smirk faded as he recognised your family name. He remained undeterred, however, stating, “that explains why your husband was so eager to marry you. He must see you as a valuable asset to his business empire.”
As you opened your mouth to retort, the door banged open and Mattheo strode into the library.
Mattheo had noticed Tom’s absence from his party, but when it became too long to be excused as a restroom break, Mattheo had asked his brother, Enzo, if he had seen where he had gone. Enzo had smiled a small smile and whispered, “Tom went to the library. Where your darling wife stays hidden.”
Mattheo saw red. 
He barged into the library, a deadly, lethal, and borderline possessive look deep in his eyes. When he saw Tom flanking you, Mattheo’s expression darkened and his hands clenched into a ready fist. “What the hell are you doing here?” Mattheo demanded, his voice low and dangerous. “This is a private wing of my home - not some place for you to bother my wife.” 
Mattheo moved closer to you, placing himself between you and Tom as if to protect you from further harm. 
Tom quickly stepped back and placed a confident demeanour on his face. “I was simply having a conversation with your lovely wife here,” Tom gritted his teeth.
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, showing clearly that Tom was lying and intruding. You saw Mattheo’s eyes flicker down to you, his eyes softening reassuringly before snapping back to Tom, malice in his gaze. 
“Don’t lie to me,” Mattheo snapped at Tom. “There’s no need for any sort of interaction or conversation with my wife unless I am present.” Mattheo placed a hand on the top of your chair, his fingers gripping it and his bicep flexing slightly to warn Tom.
Tom’s eyes flicked with something you hadn’t seen before: fear. Fear commonly associated with the Riddle name. He adjusted his collar and straightened his posture. “Of course, Mr. Riddle,” he said bitterly.
You raised a brow. “I think it’s time for you to go now,” you said, your face stoic. Tom bowed his head slightly before exiting the library. You didn’t look up to meet Mattheo’s eye. You murmured, “you didn’t have to do that. I had it covered.”
Mattheo watched Tom until he completely left the room before turning to look down on you. His voice was threatening, “you may have been able to handle Tom, but I won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting or harassing you while you’re under my roof. Consider this a warning - if anyone tries to cross you again, they will regret it.” 
“Perhaps you should tell your coworkers that. Not me,” you replied. 
Mattheo’s expression was cold. “Fine. I will,” he growled. “I will not sit idly by and allow anyone to disrespect my wife.” He let go of your chair and adjusted the cuffs of his suit. As if in a business meeting, he said, “And consider this another warning: if you continue to act so stubbornly, I won’t hesitate to remind you of your place in this marriage.”
“My place in this marriage is your wife!” you cried out, finally standing up. “Your equal! Something you seem to forget until it’s convenient for you. Or until another man threatens your… your property! I doubt you see me any differently than this house or your assets.”
Mattheo grabbed onto your arm tightly, pulling you close and leaning down so his face was inches from yours. “Do not ever speak to me like that. You are not my equal - you are my wife and I decide what is best for both of us. If you cannot accept that, then you should reconsider your place in this marriage.” He released your arm and turned away from you, striding towards the door. “I suggest you reflect on your behaviour,” he added icily, leaving the room without looking back.
After he left the library, you let out a scream of frustration. You shoved the pile of books that Mattheo had carefully curated to the floor. They tumbled down, book after book, covers opening and pages bending. Tears pricked at your eyes as you examined the scene. 
You slumped into your chair, the fire in front of your crackling softly, emitting a calming warmth.
Eventually, you fell asleep in the chair, tear stains on your cheeks. In the morning, you woke to the serene morning light filtering into the room - a vast contrast to your mood. The fire had dissolved into crackling embers. Tucked on top of you was a thick blanket and the stack of books that you had pushed over had been re-piled and stood majestically atop the table.
You sighed, knowing you should thank the servants for taking care of you and cleaning up. 
After you walked to the kitchen, your footfalls heavy, you thanked the servants, who were finishing preparing breakfast. They exchanged glances and one piped up, “Ma’am, while we appreciate the sentiment, we didn’t do that. We weren’t aware that you were still in the library. We believed you had retired to bed before the social last night.” They paused and then added, “however, Mr. Riddle didn’t go to bed. He was in his study until morning light.”
“Oh,” was all you could say. You bid them an awkward goodbye before entering the dining hall. 
Mattheo was already seated at the head of the table, his expression exhausted and distant. He didn’t acknowledge you when you approached, focusing instead on the uneaten plate of food in front of him. 
You sat down opposite him and muttered, “the servants informed me that you blanketed me last night and cleaned up the books.” You hesitated and finally said, “thank you.”
Mattheo looked up briefly, his expression unreadable, but he didn’t respond directly. “It was necessary,” he said simply. “You should not be cold and uncomfortable in your own home.” He doesn’t make any effort to engage in conversation beyond that. Something was weighing heavily on his mind and he seemed preoccupied by it.
You hummed in response. Eventually, you stood and whispered to your husband before walking out, “you are not as cold as you want to seem. You needn’t keep the facade up with me.”
Mattheo looked up briefly before returning to his food. His expression relaxed, but he didn’t respond.
***
Later that day, Mattheo sat in his study as he always did. A knock came from the door and he glanced at the clock. It was a bit early for lunch to be delivered, but he announced, “come in.”
The door creaked open and your head peeked into the room. Mattheo’s brows furrowed - not with malice, but with scrutiny. You entered and sat in one of the two seats next to his fireplace. Silently, you cracked open a book you had brought and began to read. 
Mattheo watched you intently, his gaze never wavering as he took in every detail of your face. He tried to find any acrimonious intent behind your actions, but you looked so peaceful. He found himself noticing the details of your face and your beauty as the fire cast warm highlights on your eyes. “What are you doing?” he asked eventually, his voice holding an armour of needed suspicion.
“Reading,” you said simply. 
Mattheo frowned, not convinced by your answer. Why would you read in his study after the way he had been treating you? He leaned back in his chair, his work forgotten. “Isn’t there something more important that you could be occupying your time with?” he challenged.
“Not particularly,” you responded. “You’re in charge of the companies and estates. I have nothing to do. I thought I would accompany you. You must get lonely in a study by yourself.”
Mattheo narrowed his eyes, but ultimately nodded slowly. “Alright,” he agreed after a moment. “But don’t think I will stop working simply because my wife is here.” His posture grew taut as he began looking over documents again. “This is still my office and I expect you to behave accordingly.”
“I’m simply reading,” you murmured, a smile inching its way up your lips.
Henceforth, a routine was established. Every morning, you would knock on Mattheo’s study door, usually an hour or so after he began working. There was rarely conversation, the silence being broken by Mattheo’s scratch of a quill or you turning pages, occasionally being disrupted by the loud crack of a log in the fire.
One day, you had finished your book (it was an excellent book, one from the pile Mattheo had recommended) and stood to go retrieve another one. At the sound of your footsteps leaving his office, Mattheo’s head darted up and he suddenly asked, “where are you going?” 
You paused and turned back to him. “I’m to get a new book. Unfortunately, as wonderful as this one was, it had an ending like all books do.”
Mattheo frowned and a hint of vulnerability broke through his exterior. “Get a servant to do it,” he offered. 
“Well, I don’t know which one I want,” you counted, raising a brow in a smirk.
He huffed and shook his head, returning his eyes to his documents. He grumbled, “I will commission the servants to build you a small bookshelf for my office. You can keep your books there.” You stood, watching him for a moment, admiring him until his gaze snapped up. “Well, go get your book,” he said sharply. “… but hurry back,” he added in a mumble. 
You finally smiled at him before exiting and Mattheo gazed at the place you once stood, trying to memorise how your lips curled up and your eyes crinkled when you smiled.
He rather liked it when you smiled.
***
“Are you alright?”
You sniffed and laughed. “Yes, yes. I’m being foolish.” You wiped some tears from your eyes. “My book is very good.”
Mattheo chuckled lowly. “And what made you cry, hm?”
“A daughter and father interaction,” you replied quietly. 
“Was the father cruel to the daughter?” Mattheo laughed tersely, shaking his head at his documents. “Are your feelings not strong enough to withstand their wrath?”
You frowned at Mattheo, setting the book down. “No,” you corrected slowly. “The father was being kind to his daughter. He was supporting her and loving her; as a father should.” There was a pause as Mattheo looked up at you. “I know that the Riddles are a harsher family - I’ve known ever since I knew I was to marry you. But… but are you alright?” 
You felt absurd asking the question. Yet, when Mattheo couldn’t meet your eye, a wistful sadness blanketing the room, you felt as if you should’ve asked the simple question weeks earlier.
For a moment, he said nothing. Then Mattheo turned in his chair so his back was facing you. "I'm fine," he finally answered, his voice rough and strained. "I am used to dealing with it, I suppose." Despite his insistence that he didn't need anyone's pity or concern, your words seem to have affected him more deeply than he wanted to admit. 
“May I ask a question?” you asked softly.
Mattheo hesitated for a moment before nodding, his eyes never leaving the window as he spoke. "Ask away," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He then cleared his throat and said, "but I won’t give a warm and fuzzy answer." 
There was a pregnant pause in the air as you gathered your courage up and suddenly thrust your fears upon your husband. “If we ever have children, which we’re somewhat expected to,” you added hurriedly. “I don’t want them to grow up in a household where they feel as if they have to vie for love or attention. And I don’t want me to be the only one giving them attention.” Mattheo turned his head so his face was angled toward you, but his eyes could still stray to the window if need be. “If we have kids, can you promise that you’ll love them? Even if you don’t love me?” 
Even though your voice was steady, Mattheo knew of the vulnerability deeply rooted within you.
He nodded cautiously, his expression serious. "I promise," he said firmly. "I may not love you, but I will love our children unconditionally. They will never have to compete for my affection or feel neglected. I may not be a fond father, but I will provide for them and protect them as best I can." A protectiveness filled his veins just at the thought of something happening to his future children. 
You nodded once, a sad smile on your face. “Perhaps we’ll have a big family. Enough children to start a sports team.” You smiled at the thought, laughing lightly.
Mattheo smiled, despite himself, imagining a large brood of children running around the manor. It was an oddly appealing idea, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud. "We'll see," he said noncommittally. "I'd rather have lots of sons; they'll carry on the family name and ensure my legacy continues." He turned back around and attempted to focus on his work.
“And daughters too.” You frowned, staring at your husband, even if he wouldn’t spare you a glance. “Daughters can carry on the family name just as well as sons.” A muscle in your jaw ticked.
Mattheo scowled at your defiance, his eyes narrowing slightly. Why hadn’t you just fallen into line? "Fine, daughters too," he reluctantly agrees. "But make no mistake, they will be raised to be strong and capable like their brothers. The Riddle name demands nothing less." 
“And the sons can be soft and caring and sensitive,” you said firmly, crossing your arms. “I thought we agreed that they wouldn’t have to vie for affection. I thought we agreed that they wouldn’t have needless competition in their life. I don’t want them to grow up… like, well… you.” You finally uttered the words that had been hanging off your tongue dangerously. 
Mattheo’s expression hardened as he clenched his fist tightly. "Fine!" he snapped. "They can be whatever the hell you want them to be! But don't expect me to sit back and watch while they become weaklings and failures. We need to teach them to be strong and ruthless like I am." He stood up abruptly, knocking over his chair in the process.
You jump up after him, crossing towards him. You whirled to a stop in front of him, jabbing a finger towards his chest. “Listen here, Riddle. Just because someone is kind and vulnerable doesn’t mean they’re weak!” You growled, “and just because you grew up like that, does not mean that’s the type of household I am going to have.”
Mattheo stepped forward and his hand flew up to grip your wrist. His eyes blazed with anger, but then something changed in his expression and he took a step back, looking surprised at his own reaction. "You're right," he admitted begrudgingly. "I shouldn't have assumed that being vulnerable meant being weak." He ran a hand through his hair, looking embarrassed, yet resolute in his decision. "But don't expect me to be a pushover either. I'll still teach them to be strong and independent."
“Strong and independent are good qualities,” you conceded. “Both for the boys and girls.”
"Agreed," he said. Mattheo straightened his cuffs and cleared his throat. "Our children will be taught to be strong and independent, regardless of gender. They will know that they are loved and valued by both of us, equally." He held out his hand to you, indicating that the argument was over - for now at least. "Deal?" 
“Deal.” You shook his hand defiantly. It was a business deal, but a good deal at least.
Mattheo exhaled and brushed past you. “I’m to a meeting,” he informed you. It was a simple comment , one that was an offhand remark, but to you, Mattheo had just let you into his life. It was something he had never done before. Even if it was just a response to where he was off to, it was a window into his life. A life that now may have enough room to hold you. 
Mattheo paused when he reached the door. “I never knew the way I grew up was wrong until I saw other families. I saw the parents bending down to listen to their children instead of hushing them. I saw parents comforting their children after scraped knees, not pushing them to the kitchen for some rubbing alcohol. I saw parents beaming when their child could plunk out the simplest of tunes on the piano. No one else got berated for being out of rhythm or playing a D instead of an E. I never saw another child get slapped by their parents or scolded as harshly as I was. It was around then I realised that something was wrong. But what was I to do about it?”
Words dried in your throat. You wanted to cry at his words, but you felt dried out. How could someone treat their child like that? It explained so much… 
Your husband was a fragile man, you were just realising. And he was trying to pick up the pieces and present them to you in the only way he knew how. 
"The stars remind me of you,” he said quietly, the change in conversation sudden. “I mean that in the best possible way.” His voice was the softest and most tender as you had ever heard it. You hoped he would keep speaking the melodies that made your heart sing in tune. 
“How so?” you asked, afraid to break the plane of existence that you and Mattheo were carefully standing on.
"They are so beautiful, yet so far away. I may see them, but I can never touch them."
***
The servants didn’t know what to do. The master and mistress, Mr. and Mrs. Riddle, seemed to be at a ceasefire. The cooks lamented at how they had seemed to be doing so well. The maids thought they were destined to doom from the start. The butlers gossiped about Mr. Riddle’s letters to a Mr. Tom, terminating their long-term partnership. The scullery maid still had hope that the husband and wife would come to their senses and live a happy life.
It perplexed the servants when the mistress requested to move her belongings back into the master bedroom and the master looked on, a soft smile on his lips. It confused the servants when the Mr and Mrs began taking meals together and talking in hushed tones late into the night. And it bamboozled the servants when, one summer afternoon, the Lord of the household stood from his desk, cautiously moved to his Lady that was reading by the open window, and asked her to accompany him on a walk. She had accepted. 
There was to be a dinner party, this time hosted at Mr. Draco Malfoy’s manor, that Mr. Riddle was expected to attend. Per usual, the master didn’t invite the mistress, but she was content to stay home. A maid briefly heard the madam whisper to her husband, “hurry home, please? I don’t like it when you’re away.” The maid had scurried away before she could hear the reply.
Mattheo returned home that night, just before the sun was setting. He climbed the steps, unbuttoning his cuffs and loosening his tie. The soft glow of light was still shining under your shared bedroom - something he still hadn’t gotten used to - and Mattheo couldn’t help but smile.
“Why are you still up?” he asked quietly when he entered the room.
“You promised to be home early and I wanted to see you before I go to bed,” you reminded him, a small book in your hands.
“Right, right.” Mattheo chuckled and shook his head, slinging off his tie and jacket.
“How was the dinner?”
Mattheo hummed noncommittally. “Not the worst. A couple of my good friends, Theo and Pansy, were there to help alleviate the pain of socialising. But… I found something odd happening.”
“And what was that, husband?” Mattheo took a moment to relish in the way that word curled off your tongue effortlessly.
“I found myself wishing you were there. Nay,” he quickly corrected himself. “I wished I was here with you.”
“Oh?” Your eyes flickered up towards Mattheo, a slight blush coming to your cheeks. “Why… what do you mean by that?”
Mattheo began to unbutton his shirt and moved towards his closet. “Well,” he admitted, mumbling to himself. “I simply mean that instead of having to socialise with people who are too tightly wound and whose only intent is to take my money,” he chucked his belt into his closet and rolled up his sleeves, “I would rather be at home with my darling wife.”
A smile inched up your lips. “Really? Tell me more about this darling wife of yours.”
Mattheo hummed, stepping towards the bed. He crawled down on the bed, leaning on his forearms to lean up towards you. “My wife… I’ve come to care deeply about her. She is a beautiful, elegant woman, one who has a fiery tongue about her and an intelligent brain that even I cannot rival. She always seems to get her way, even when I try to fight back. It’s as if my wife has a command over me that I have willingly submitted to. And I am not ashamed to say so.” He lightly caressed your arm, sending a trail of goosebumps up your skin. 
“You must be careful, Mattheo,” you uttered. “That sounds an awful lot like love.” 
Mattheo brought his eyes up to meet yours, the sting of tears building up behind them. His voice cracked as he said, “that’s the first time you’ve called me by my name, Y/n.”
Your lips parted in shock. “I- I didn’t realise. I’m sorry-”
“Don’t you dare apologise,” Mattheo demanded before reaching up to pull you into a kiss. 
His lips were soft and meaningful against yours, hungrily trying to gather every ounce of love from you. His kisses were feverish at first, his strong hand coming up to cup your jawline, his fingers just teasing behind your ear, before his lips slowed. Mattheo was a starved man and he wouldn’t let anyone take away his only solace. He shifted so he could be closer to you, gently taking the book from your hands as you surrendered yourself to him. Your hands found his silk shirt, gripping it in your fists. He placed the book on the nightstand and moved so he was hovering over you, never once letting a second go by without feeling your skin against his. 
Mattheo slowly, achingly pulled away from you and his eyes fluttered open to meet yours. “My darling, my love, my life,” he murmured, dragging a knuckle down your cheek. “I apologise for everything I have ever done or said that made you feel inferior. I would be happy to kneel for you in front of my associates and family members - just to show them how much power you have over me.” He took a breath before persisting, “I was foolish. I was incompetent. I didn’t realise how much love I held for you. It is, and always will be, only you. I will promise you this: you will be the only woman I ever touch, the only voice I ever want to hear, the only skin I will ever caress, and the only eyes I ever want to see. I will wake and fall, every morning and night, thinking of you. You are the other half of my heart, for it is you who I love. I will place the galaxies and stars in the night sky for you. If you are ever unhappy, my love, I will not rest until I see you smile again. If you are ever mad, my love, I shall smite whatever upsets you, even if it is I. And I would die a happy man if you could give me only an ounce of what I give you.”
Your breath shook and you swore Mattheo had injected ambrosia into your veins for you were sure your blood was singing with the love that was filling your soul. “I wrote a letter to your mother today,” you offered quietly, as if your mere words could ever compare to the love poem Mattheo had just gifted to you. “And I thanked her.” Mattheo’s eyes flashed with confusion. You continued, “I thanked her for birthing such a wonderful husband and for raising him. I know you u wish to renounce your family, but as of now, I want to thank them with all my heart. Mattheo, I love you.”
“And I you,” Mattheo whispered, bringing his forehead down to rest on yours. His nose bumped against your cheek and he couldn’t contain his grin anymore. “How did I ever get so lucky?” he mumbled.
You laughed lightly. “Luck? Fate?”
Mattheo shook his head and his nose brushed light curves over your skin. “No, my wife. Simply love. Pure, unconditional love.”
***
The house was bright, the curtains pulled as far open as they could be. Some servants scuttled around, holding laundry or preparing for dinner. Meanwhile, Mattheo strode leisurely through the halls, smiling lovingly as his nephews chased each other through the halls. “What do I say, boys?” he called after them.
“Have fun, be safe, and don’t get caught!” they yelled back before running around a corner.
Enzo jogged after them and grumbled to Mattheo, “it’s not your duty to rule them up.”
“As their favourite uncle, yes, it is.”
“Your wife is in Andromeda’s room,” Enzo told his brother before sprinting off after his sons. Enzo wasn’t usually at Riddle Manor, but today was a special day. It was Orion’s birthday.
Mattheo chuckled to himself before Orion raced up the steps, panting. “Papa! Papa!” 
Mattheo grinned widely and scooped Orion up. “Are you alright, hm? What’ve you been up to?”
“Aunt Pansy’s carriage just pulled up!” Orion bounced in Mattheo’s arms, beaming.
“And you’re not even dressed,” Mattheo stared at Orion, pretending to be stunned. “Where’s your mother, Ori?”
“She’s helping Andy get dressed,” Orion announced. Mattheo nodded and carried his son to his daughter’s room. “Mum!” Orion cried out, seeing Y/n standing behind Andromeda, knotting her hair into a braid. 
“Oh, my darling,” Y/n tied Andy’s hair up before crossing to Mattheo and taking Orion from his arms. “Are you excited for your birthday?”
Orion hummed excitedly and wiggled down from Y/n’s arms. He darted to Andromeda and wrapped himself around her in a tight hug. Andromeda grumbled, but allowed him to cling to her as she finished her hair and rouge.
Mattheo took Y/n’s hand and pulled her back toward him, nudging his nose against hers. “Look at that,” he murmured, reaching down to play with the silver and green ring on your finger. “Mine.” He pressed a kiss to your temple. Slowly, as to not arouse suspicion from your children, he backed you up and caged you against the wall in his arms. “Seven years with you and two beautiful children to show for it.”
“Hey, mum? Where’s my- eugh!” Andromeda turned around and reeled back from the scene in front of her. “For the love of Salazar, please get a room!”
“We are in a room.” Mattheo smirked, glancing up from the crook of your neck. 
“Aren’t you two, if I'm doing my calculations correctly, nearing thirty years old?” Andromeda tsked and rolled her eyes. 
“You believe that simply because we’re getting older, I’m going to stop loving your mother?”  Mattheo chuckled before pressing a light kiss to your jawline. 
You shivered and tucked your face into your husband’s chest. “Matty, spare the poor children,” you chastised lightly. “What do you need, darling?” you turned towards Andromeda.
“You used to call me that,” Mattheo whined. He stepped back from you, letting you out of his embrace.
Andromeda sighed and asked, “where is my white shawl? It’ll go well with the dress I’m planning to wear to Orion’s party.”
“Why does it matter what you wear to Orion’s party?” Mattheo asked, puzzled. 
“Because Albus Potter is going to be here,” you said as if it were obvious.
“Harry Potter’s son?” Mattheo asked incredulously. “That scumbag?”
Both you and Andromeda ignored Mattheo and Orion left the room at the sound of Aunt Pansy entering the foyer and shouting out for her favourite nephew.
“Your shawl should be in the library,” you answered. “Ori was using it as a blanket yesterday.”
Andromeda sighed and turned towards the door. “He needs to stop taking my things. Just last week he stole my candelabra so he could read in the dark. Perhaps you should accelerate his schooling. He’s getting bored, you know.”
“We’ll raise our own son, thank you, Andromeda,” Mattheo raised a brow. Andy huffed and and flicked her dress out behind her dramatically, exiting the room. Mattheo turned to you and said, “they get that from you. The love of reading.”
“Yes, but they get their flair for the dramatics from you. And lest us not forget, you keep fuelling our love of literature by buying more books and expanding our library,” you countered.
Mattheo hummed. “‘Tis true. But how could I live without spoiling my wife and children?” He whirled you around in his arms and pressed a long kiss to your lips. “Speaking of children, what would you think of expanding our family?”
You let out a laugh. “You simply like the act of making a bigger family.”
“I love my children too,” Mattheo defended.
You reached up and brushed some of his hair away from his face. “Yes you do,” you smiled up at him. “You love your family very much.”
“Always.”
2K notes · View notes
mysterious-ocarina · 4 months
Text
No Control
marauder!Sirius Black x fem!reader
(A/N 1, im american so i’ll prolly get alot of british slang wrong, or just call stuff by what americans say) ( A/N 2, this is kinda an au where Sirius doesn't move in with James and is stuck with the Black family. I had a lot of trouble figuring out what family to put the reader in that would fit my plot and I just ended up putting you in the nott family. I guess if you really wanna think about it (pls don't think too hard about it), your brother is the father of theo nott?) (A/N 3, check this out if anyone wants an explanation of why i've been gone from tumblr for so long)
Warnings: definitely angsty but with some sprinkles of fluff, lots of mentions of abuse (nothing graphic is shown, it's just described to have happened a lot in the past), this is an arranged marriage trope but not enemies to lovers trope, lots of misogyny (lately i've been feeling angry at the world and it's views of women so here is me trying to comfort myself. Sirius black is a woman lover fr). let me know if there is anything else i need to tag cuz this is my most serious fic yet
Main Masterlist HP Masterlist Requests AO3
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(5.6k words)
Sirius Black. A name that's known by the majority of the Hogwarts population. And a face that is known (maybe a little too personally) by many wizards and witches at Hogwarts. But not to you.
You've only ever heard about the notorious Sirius black and the gang of hooligans called the Marauders. You've never got to meet any of them personally. You occasionally would see some of them around, but never Sirius. As a Slytherin, you often ran into his brother, Regulus, but you've never really talked to him either, only ever exchanging pleasantries. 
It was actually kind of surprising that you've never talked to the Blacks before. You both came from pure blood, supremacist families and both you and Sirius were known to be a bit rebellious against your families (or just rebellious in general).
But none of that matters, when your parents force you to come home for the holidays and basically shatter your resolve. 
At Hogwarts, away from the prying eyes of your family, you were most like yourself. Rebellious, outgoing, funny, and even kind. But under the roof of your family's expensive manor, you were nothing more than a quiet, obedient little girl, who's value was determined by whichever man was in charge of her. The perfect, pureblood daughter.
Just as your mother was and is, you are basically a slave to your own blood, specifically your brother and father. And as soon as you're married (arranged to a pure blood. no doubt, without your consent) you'll have to be an obedient little wife for your husband. 
The perfect, doting, obedient, docile, pureblood wife. It was all a load of rubbish, you thought, but you would keep the facade up in order to keep the abuse at bay. You learned pretty early on that speaking up for yourself and speaking out of turn was not going to be tolerated.
You were silently eating dinner with your family. Your father and brother were quietly speaking about matters that even if you and your mother cared, neither of you would be allowed an opinion on.
“Honey, we’ll be having important guests for tomorrow's dinner. So make sure you look your absolute best,” your mother spoke to you. She gave you a sympathetic smile knowing the “show” you both would have to put on in front of guests.
“Okay. Am I allowed to know who these guests are?” you swallowed down your food. You were filled with nerves, thinking about what kind of important guests you were going to have.
Your mother bent down closer to your ear, “I’m not supposed to be telling you this-” she shot a quick look to your father to make sure he wasn’t listening, “but it’s the Black family. I’m not sure why they are coming. All I know is that it’s important business with one of their sons.”
You put your fork down on your plate, placing your hands down on your lap in front of you. You let your thoughts wander and only grew more worried. What kind of important business did one of the Black brothers have with your family? To help a little with your nerves, your mother placed a comforting hand on yours before going back to her meal.
The rest of your night was uneventful after that, until you went to bed. You stayed awake for longer than you should have, your mind way too loud to allow you to sleep. You ran through a list in your mind about the millions of different “important business” that the Black family could have with yours. But none of it made sense why they would eat dinner with us. Usually important business was settled in your father’s study, as it was improper for the ladies to be present.
Eventually, you were able to fall asleep and then the next day would start. You woke up late, which was extremely unappreciated by your brother, who was expecting his morning coffee like usual. You were promptly punished, not only by being woken up by him screaming at you, but also with a beating.
You spent the rest of the day trying to find an appropriate outfit for the dinner that would cover the red marks and newly forming bruises on your arms. Your mother lessened the pain of the marks a little during the day but there wasn’t much else that you could do.
Sometimes when you both sat and drank tea, you would often dream together about running away from all of this. The blood supremacy, controlling men, and just downright evil families. But those thoughts and dreams were quickly quelled when the sound of the men's voices could be heard, calling for the maids- I mean women.
Both you and your mom knew, these were only dreams. It was impossible for purebloods to leave the life that they were born into.
You and your mother waited in the foyer, waiting for the guests to arrive. Your dress was rubbing against the lashes on your skin, making you scratch your arms in irritation but soon stopped when your mothers hand landed on yours.
“You’ll only make it hurt worse. Plus, you know you can show any discomfort in front of the guests,” she said softly. She was trying her best to sound comforting but it only served to remind you of the show you both are forced to put on and the lives you’re stuck living.
A knock was heard and muscle memory forced wide, fake smiles onto both of your faces. Your mother opened the door and welcomed the Black family, “Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Black. I hope you had safe travels here.”
As soon as they crossed the threshold, you were in front of them offering to take their coats. They handed them to you as Mrs. Black spoke, “Thank you for having us, Mrs. Nott.”
“My daughter will show you to the dining room while I finish up making dinner,” your mother informed before quickly making her way towards the kitchen.
After you finished hanging up Mr. and Mrs. Black’s coats, you finally had the chance to look at the two Black brothers. Being in his house, you immediately recognized Regulus, who gave you a tight smile. You then looked over to who you assumed was Sirius.
He certainly was as attractive as the girls at Hogwarts always seemed to make him seem. But he wouldn’t make eye contact with you. He was looking toward the ground, still keeping his posture ramrod straight. He had the same look and body language as someone who had just been beaten for disobedience. A look you were familiar with.
Before anyone could get angry with you, you spoke up, respectfully, “If you would follow me, please.”
With your head down, you brought the family to the dining room. Your father and brother both stood up to shake hands with the Blacks. You stood behind your seat, waiting for the men to sit down first. Your father and Mr. Black sat down and engaged in conversation. You watched Regulus take the chair next to his father and looked to see where Sirius was. You were surprised to find him right next to you.
You backed up, unsure why he was standing there. Of course, you would give up your seat if he asked you to. But all he did was pull the chair out and motion for you to sit down. You sat down and thanked him as he pushed the chair in, “Thank you, young master Black.”
In the corner of your eye, you saw your father give a nod at your use of the title. Salazar, you sounded like a damned house elf. But that was the proper way you were to address him.
Sirius scrunched his nose at the title but gave you an understanding smile, “You’re welcome.”
He surprised you once more by taking the seat directly next to yours. You kept your mouth shut, knowing it was best to keep your curious thoughts to yourself, but you did shoot him a kind smile.
Dinner started without a hitch, conversation mostly being between Mr. Black and your father, your mother and Mrs. Black conversing a little bit with each other too. You, your brother, and both Black brothers mostly stayed silent and ate the meal.
Throughout the entire dinner, when nobody was looking, you had been rubbing at your irritated arm in discomfort. You don’t know how long Sirius had noticed but he grabbed your hand under the table just as you were going to bring it back up again. He continued to eat his meal with his other hand, looking like he wasn’t holding your hand under the table at the moment.
At your confused glance, he leaned closer to your ear, whispering, “I know what you’re doing. It’s just going to make it hurt more, the more you keep messing with it. Just squeeze my hand instead.”
He went back to eating, glancing around to find that no one noticed him whispering to you. You squeezed his hand a bit hard as you went back to eating too. Instead of wincing or doing anything to show discomfort, all he did was rub his thumb soothingly on yours.
The butterflies Sirius stirred up in you was enough to distract you from your irritating arm for the rest of the dinner.
“Now,” your father started, rubbing his napkin on his mouth and setting it down on the table, (the universal sign for “stop eating and listen to me”). “Mr. Black and I have recently come to an agreement.”
Sirius squeezed your hand in comfort as his father spoke up, “Seeing as Ms. Nott is the same age as my Sirius, we have arranged for the two of you to be married. It will be after the both of you graduate from Hogwarts.”
Those words echoed in your head as you looked up to the two fathers in shock. Your silverware clattered as it fell from your hand onto your plate. You must have been breaking the bones in Sirius’ hand, holding it as tight as you were.
Despite the fact that you knew it was a bad idea, your adrenaline forced you to speak up, “You can’t do that, father. You can’t just force me to marry someone that I just met.”
The tears in your eyes didn’t fall, years of “training” keeping them from falling.
Your brother gave you a harsh glare at your disrespect. Suddenly your father stood up, slamming his hands on the table. Staring straight at you, his commanding voice not loud but still thundering all the same, “I can, and I will. Do not forget your place in this family and this world. You will do as I say until you are married. Then you will be your husband’s to command.”
In a haste, you let go of Sirius’ hand, placing your hands on the table to stand up. Sirius, thinking quickly, kept you from getting up by grabbing your legs under the table. That didn’t stop your mouth from speaking harshly, “I am nobody’s to command or control.”
Before you could say anything more, your father reached across the table and slapped you across the face. You held your cheek in shock. He’s hit you before but never in front of guests. The entire table sat in shocked silence.
You looked down at your lap, willing your tears not to fall. You noticed Sirius’ hands clenched in his lap, he looked like he was shaking in anger, but his face had a practiced neutral expression. Regulus’ eyes were wide as he looked at you but had no other reaction at the scene that just transpired. The both of them knew not to speak up.
Your brother had a satisfied smirk on his face. You could just hear the thoughts in his head right now. Thank Salazar, someone put her in her place, his face screamed.
Your father sat down and looked towards Mr. Black, “I’m sorry for my daughter’s behavior. I hope you can forgive me for her impudence.”
Mr. Black simply waved his hand in dismissal, “It’s alright. I understand how women are.”
Picking up his whiskey glass, your father sighed, “It’s a shame we can’t put off the marriage to fix her. Maybe your son will be able to crack her.”
Mr. Black took a swig of his whiskey too, “We can only hope. If not, I can think of a curse that surely helped to fix up my Sirius.”
Sirius tensed up next to you. Your father had never used the Cruciatus Curse on you, but it was clear what Mr. Black was referring to and your father seemed to quite enjoy the idea. The two men simply laughed as if that curse wasn’t named an Unforgivable Curse. They laughed, as if your pain was nothing more than entertainment to them.
The dinner went back to normal for the two men and your brother, not noticing the tension felt between the rest of the group. This time, you grabbed Sirius’ hand under the table and rubbed it soothingly. He let out a shaky breath and squeezed your hand.
Losing your appetite, you spent the rest of the meal sitting in silence, holding hands with Sirius. Your thoughts ran completely wild. You were going to be married to him, for the rest of your life, and you had only spoken once. You didn’t even speak. He whispered to you and you listened. Thinking more about it, there are worse boys that you could have been forced to marry.
At Hogwarts, Sirius was known for being rebellious and against his family's traits and values. Salazar, the boy was sorted into Gryffindor, the opposite of his entire family. But what if that was just in the public eye. You didn’t know anything about Sirius except for what you’ve heard from others. For all you knew, the moment you and he were alone, he would revert back to his family’s pureblood values and abuse you just as most pureblood husbands did to their wives.
No, you quickly thought, stop it. You tried to think about the entire situation with a rational head. Throughout the entire dinner, he did nothing harsh towards you. He offered comfort when your arm was bothering you. He kept you from standing when you argued with your father (who knows how much worse the situation could have escalated if you actually, physically stood up to him). He did his best to offer you comfort without your families knowing it.
He’s not an abuser, you rationalized with yourself. You felt the way he tensed up at the mention of the Cruciatus Curse. He would not be like your father or your brother.
After dinner, you were sent straight up to your room. Before you were separated, Sirius softly spoke to you, “Don’t worry, darling.”
His smile reassured you by a fraction, as you got ready for bed. Maybe all of it won’t be so bad.
You didn’t see Sirius, or his family, at all the rest of the holidays. The next time you did see him was on the train back to Hogwarts. You were simply looking for an empty carriage to settle in, when you noticed Sirius coming towards you.
He grabbed your suitcase and brought it to what you presumed was the carriage he was going to be in. You simply followed him, shrinking under the glare that some of his fangirls were throwing your way.
Once the door was shut and you were alone, he finally spoke up, “So, how are you?”
You sat in the seat opposite of him. You were unsure how to proceed, so you took the safe option and responded, “I’m fine, master Black.”
He opened his mouth in shock, before quickly wiping the look from his face, he basically pleaded, “Please don’t call me that.”
“But-” you went to protest, but he cut you off.
“At least, don’t call me that when we aren’t near our families,” he dismissed what you were going to say. All you could do was stare at him. It really did seem he wasn’t like his family.
Growing embarrassed under your stare, he shyly spoke back up, “I hope you know that you can act like you normally do when you’re around me.”
You looked away from him, face flushing, “This is how I normally act.”
He leveled you with a look, “We both know that’s not true. I don’t know you well but I’m sure you have a number of choice words to call me.”
Seeing the amused smirk on his face, your facade broke. You slightly smirked right back at him, “I don’t have any words to call you… Our fathers on the other hand…”
Sirius’ smirk turned into an almost awestruck smile. Before he could say anything back at you, a gaggle of boys had burst into the carriage.
“Pads, you’ll never guess who sent me a letter during break,” James Potter excitedly said. He went to sit across from his friend only to just now notice you. You gave him a sweet smile.
“Who’s this?” James asked, sitting next to Sirius and throwing his arm around him.
Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin followed James into the carriage, taking their seats. Everyone gave you curious but welcoming looks.
Sirius gave you a look, which you nodded to.
“Put up a silencing charm. I’ve got a story to tell you,” Sirius replied, causing the boys to perk up.
The next hour or so was spent with Sirius explaining your arranged marriage to his group of friends. You were relatively silent, not yet comfortable talking to his friends. He left out the parts where you were abused and berated but didn’t spare the details of his own abuse. It seemed he was comfortable sharing what he goes through to his friends. And evidently you too, since you were there listening too.
This was how you found out that he knew about the betrothal before you did. Apparently, he found out just moments before going to the dinner. He tried to refuse his father (the same way you had, you noticed) and received a beating for his insubordination. That would explain the look he had when you first saw him.
You cringed a little, hearing that he was hit but he gave you a reassuring smile. His friends were also really kind and sympathetic to the entire situation. No wonder he seemed comfortable sharing his familial trauma with them, they were extremely supportive.
“Can they really do that?” James questioned, from next to Sirius.
You sighed and crossed your arms, “Unfortunately, yes. There isn’t anything that we can do to avoid it.”
Remus looked up thoughtfully, “Is it possible for you guys to run away from your families?”
You thought about it, “Hypothetically, we could run away from our families and the blood supremacy world, but it would be extremely difficult.”
Sirius spoke up, “Trust me, I’ve debated it my entire life. If we ran away from our families, no doubt we would be financially cut off from them.”
You added, “Not only would we have to somehow have enough money for a place to live, but we would also need to find a job, to keep the place to live. And trust me, families like ours have a lot of power in the wizard world. One word from them, and no one would want or be able to hire us.”
Peter muttered, “That’s horrible.”
Sirius sighed and slouched in his seat, “You’re telling me.”
“Thinking about it, Sirius, you need to put your womanizing ways away. A married man shouldn’t be parading around with any woman that gives him attention,” you added with a teasing smirk.
“You make me sound like a cheap whore,” Sirius replied with a pout.
“You’re not?” James was quick to rebuttal, causing you to laugh at the offended face Sirius gave the both of you.  It didn’t take long for the entire group of you to dissolve into laughs and giggles.
Sirius smiled at you, teasingly, “Well how about you? I’m sure your long line of lovesick fools will end up sobbing at the news.”
You glared playfully at him, “I don’t know any lovesick fools. I actually swore off dating a long time ago so this doesn’t affect my love life at all.”
Remus looked at you in bewilderment, “Went from swearing off dating straight to marriage.”
“Quite the jump,” you simply offered in reply. “At least I’m stuck with Sirius and not some blood supremacist twat like my brother.”
“That is true,” Remus reasoned. “You could have been forced with someone who actually believes the rubbish their parents feed them.”
You felt comforted by Remus' words, confirming that Sirius wasn’t like both of your families.
The rest of the train ride was spent getting to know each other. It wasn’t hard to become friends with Sirius and his buddies. The longer you spent with them, the more comfortable you became with the idea of becoming Sirius’ wife. Don’t get me wrong. You still didn’t want to be forced to marry someone that you didn’t know or love, but you were comfortable knowing that he felt the exact same way.
Who knows? Maybe you could fall in love with Sirius the same way a plethora of other girls had.
The rest of your seventh year at Hogwarts went alright. It didn’t take long for rumors to spread that you and Sirius were to be married but for the most part, the gossip didn’t bother either of you that much. It’s not like the rumors were false, so what was the point in denying anything.
The only downside was the threats that a multitude of Sirius fangirls made in your direction. Nothing too serious has happened to you yet, but you knew soon enough that it would be too much for the wrong girl. Turns out, that time would come soon enough. 
You were eating breakfast in the Great Hall, Regulus sitting across from you. Since he was to be your brother-in-law, the both of you became friends. You would also find out that he wasn’t like his parents either. He just wasn’t as outward of this fact as Sirius was. Watching what Sirius has put up with, he knew that he wasn’t brave enough to rebel and deal with the consequences.
Earlier in the week, a parcel came by owl for you. In it was a Black family heirloom, a wedding ring. You were told that you had to wear it from now on, even though you guys were still only engaged and not married. Of course, you didn’t argue, though.
You sat staring at the ring. On one hand, you hate what it symbolized. It was your own sick image of slave shackles that tied you down. On the other hand, “It really is quite pretty. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought Sirius picked it out just for me.”
Regulus looked up at you as you spoke. He was confused for a moment until he noticed you glancing at the ring on your ring finger. He swallowed his toast and took a sip of his black coffee, “Well… I mean, it is charmed.”
You gave him a confused look, which only made him look back at you even more confused. His eyebrows raised, “You don’t know?”
“Know what?” you questioned. You looked at the ring and tried to think of what kind of charm it could have been.
Regulus smirked back at you, “Well, Mrs. Black-” you glared at him, only making him smile harder at you, “-When the ring was first made for our grandmother's grandmother, or some other old bat, it was put under some kind of spell. 
“It was always meant to be an heirloom and it was charmed to always look the way that the husband, the male with Black blood, wanted it to look. Hypothetically, it was supposed to be a symbol of great love because the husband should know what kind of ring their wife would like to wear. But with our family being the kind of family it is, it was mostly only ever worn as a symbol of possession.
“Rarely, did the husbands care enough about their wives to know what kind of ring they would like to wear,” Regulus finished his story. He was giving you an unreadable smile.
You stared back at him, your expression almost as unreadable as his, scoffing at him, “Well most jewelry is going to be pretty.”
“Yeah, but doesn’t that look like the perfect ring for you,” he smoothly replied.
You simply ignored him, finishing your breakfast. You did your best to ignore the fluttering feeling in your chest at the thought that Sirius knew what your perfect ring would look like.
The ring on your finger only served as a reminder to all the girls at Hogwarts that you were to be Sirius’ wife, a fact that was not very well received by the female population. Before you had the ring, the most that would be thrown your way was dirty looks and glares, something you could easily handle. But as more and more people noticed the ring on your finger over the next week, the more serious it became.
You started to receive so much hate mail, that you started to only ever open up letters if they had the official Nott or Black seal. Most of the letters only said foul things to you. Not many people were aware of the arranged part of the marriage, mostly only pureblood Slytherins and Black’s friends knew about that, so a lot of the letters consisted of them berating you and wondering how you got the notorious Sirius Black to fall in love with you (A love potion being the most common guess. Because why would the perfect Sirius Black want to be with a nobody girl like you).
People really are dense these days. How could people possibly jump to any sort of conclusions when no one has ever seen you guys kiss… or even hold hands for that matter. The both of you were friends by now, of course. But that’s it. You guys didn’t just magically fall in love now that you are betrothed.
Well… one of you wasn’t in love. Over the course of getting to know Sirius more for the past few months, feelings did start to stir within you. But you always tried to squash them down as soon as you felt them. Which only made you hurt more.
You were going to get married… without your consent… to a guy that you’ve started to truly care for… despite the fact that he could never care for you the same way. It was all kind of sad, when you really thought about it.
You thought about how you were probably, inadvertently, just a symbol of his slavery to his family and their beliefs. Just as he was inadvertently a symbol of your slavery to your family and their beliefs.
But you were able to look past that. So maybe he would be able to look past it too and see the silver-lining to this whole thing.
Breaking out of your thoughts, you muttered a quicked Incendio at the pile of hate mail in front of you, burning it to ash. Slipping your wand back into your robes, you continued to eat your dinner in relative peace.
If only it could’ve stayed in peace. Two girls, a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff that you didn’t even recognize, sat down on both of your sides. Your confusion was apparent, only widening the smirk on the two girls' faces.
Understanding what was going on, you rolled your eyes, “Do you guys need something?”
“What’s your secret?” the Ravenclaw girl inquired.
You simply continued to eat your food, unaffected by their intimidation. Dryly, you responded, “Whatever could you mean?”
The girls looked at you in disgust, before the Hufflepuff spoke up, “We want to know how you got someone as amazing as Sirius Black to fall for you. I can’t think of anything good about you.”
With another roll of your eyes (if you had a galleon for everytime you rolled your eyes because of these kinds of girls, you would be rich) you cooly replied, “Have you tried, having a personality? I’ve heard it does wonders in making people like you.”
Both girls huffed at your attitude before standing up. The Ravenclaw haughtily informed you, “You better watch your back, Nott. Wouldn’t want anyone to damage Sirius’ goods.”
Using her wand, the Hufflepuff spilled sticky juice all over you, leaving you floundering in shock. You sat for a second seething in anger, only growing more furious as the gross liquid seeped more into your clothes.
By now, most of the great hall was already watching what had happened but at the glare you threw at everyone, people were quick to go back to minding their business.
You got up quickly, making your way out of the Great Hall. You heard footsteps behind you and someone calling your name but you were too blind with rage to bother turning around to find out what they wanted. You had had enough of the girls in this school looking down at you for something that wasn’t any of their business.
You were almost to the girls washroom, when Sirius grabbed ahold of your arm. You quickly whipped around, seething, “What the hell do you want, Black?”
He faltered, unsure how to handle what was happening, “I saw what happened. Are you okay?”
You glared harshly at him, “Do I look okay to you?”
Gobsmacked, he hesitantly replied, “Well, what can I do?”
“Oh gee, Black,” you spit at him. “Maybe you could fix your fanclub who seems to think that I’m Satan incarnate herself.”
Your anger in the moment kept you from thinking rationally, you mocked, “Oh perfect Sirius Black. He’s so hot and amazing. How could a slag like you end up with a man like him?”
Sirius stood, shocked at your outburst but kept silent and let you continue to tear at him, “I’ve heard it all, Black. Your little group of fangirls are so deep into their delusions that they can’t even see that we aren’t in love. The only thing that they are capable of seeing is that I’ll be your wife, consensual or not.
“Those girls don’t even realize the pain it brings me that I’m forced to do this. Those girls don’t see the pain my family has put me in, time and time again. Those girls don’t see the pain they cause me with their vitriolic jealousy,” You finished your rant off, poking at his chest with each sentence. Breathing deeply after explaining how this all made you feel, you watched as he processed everything you said.
He seemed unsure of how to continue, until anger and what looked like insecurity started to cover his face. He moved your hand away (very lightly, you noticed) and started to step towards you as he raised his voice back at you, “Well what do you expect me to do about literally anything about this situation. I’m sorry that having to marry me is the worst thing that ever happened to you.”
“Sirius,” you sighed, regretfully.
But he was quick to continue before you could, “No, you got to tear me out, so now it’s my turn. Trust me, this hurts me too. I know how horrible our families and their rubbish traditions are. You are just as familiar with the abuse as I am, meaning that you know just as well as I do, that there isn’t anything that either of us can do against this.”
He took a step back and a deep, calming breath. He looked at you with an expression that was unreadable, “I wish there was something, anything, that I could do to help us feel less trapped but there’s nothing to do.”
You took a step closer to him, “Nothing about you, is the worst thing to ever happen to me. Really, if anything, you’re the best thing to happen to me. It’s because of you, that I feel less alone.”
At your admission, Sirius let out a breath of relief, as if you just lifted the world off of his shoulders. Was he really that worried about being a burden to you? You spoke up again, “I’m sorry for yelling at you. None of this is your fault and I shouldn’t have let my anger out on you.”
Sirius sighed, muttering the scourgify charm. The sticky juice was instantly cleaned off you and you already felt a little bit better.
Sirius grabbed your hand, holding it in both of his, “It’s alright. I understand what you’re going through. But we can get through this together.”
“You’re right,” you responded with a soft cry. You fell into his chest and softly cried out your frustrations. Sirius stood there, soothing you as best as he could, unwilling to let you out of his embrace.
“How about tonight, you meet me in the astronomy tower? We can do whatever, it doesn’t matter what. We can just hang out and forget about our families for once,” Sirius offered. He still had his arms around you in comfort.
Once your sniffles subsided, you hugged him just a little bit tighter, “That sounds amazing, Sirius.”
(A/N, I was thinking of doing a part 2 if you guys are interested. I was thinking it would be after the marriage but you guys still dance around the feelings you have for eachother. maybe you guys find a way to run away together too. i dont really know, yall let me know what you think)
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1-800-local-whore · 1 year
Text
Sirius Black x Sweet/Innocent fem! reader
Marauder Era
Smut
Lucky - Britney Spears
warnings : sex, arranged marriage, cold husband, suspicion to cheating (no actual cheating), pregnancy-mentioned, angst, hurt, hemophilia, mention of blood, {probably missed something}, no y/n used, no physical description of reader
a/n : my work from wattpad. do not steal, copy, or repost {as in take and claim as your own work}. Enjoy babes.
words : 12k
••••••
This is a story about a girl named Lucky
Her whole life, she knew. She knew her adult life was planned out for her, laid down like bricks. Every detail inscribed down to when she would have children and how many. It was something accepted, something she honestly was somewhat excited for.
An arranged marriage was awaiting her, the only problem was to who. That was still a question. It was the same thing that had happened to her parents, all she wished for was it would become the same marriage. Her father was not the best man, he was greedy and always searching for more fortune. But his love for her mother was real.
The marriage had started off very professional but over the time the couple grew to love each other and that blossomed into a real partnership, as if they had been soulmates the whole time. She wanted even just a sliver of that feeling between her and her predetermined husband.
Many bachelors have come along in an endeavor to just have one date with her. She had rejected all of them, mostly because she did not want to become attached just to leave them for a marriage between families. Her schooling years were lonely for that fact, but she had her best friend to lean against. Regulus Black, a boy a few months older than her. The pair had been close ever since their first year. The sorting had placed her in Slytherin and she sat next to him at the table.
Over the years they had spend many hours together, even had sleepovers during Holidays. Everything about their relationship was the definition of platonic. Going to each other about relationship issues (mostly on Reggie's side) and homework (also mostly on his part). Their families encouraged the companionship hardcore, both being from respected pure-blood families. Neither one every being jealous of the other. Strictly best friends, childhood best friends.
In addition to the relations between the young students, came spending time with his older brother. Her and Sirius never had a falling out, rarely ever spoke to each other actually. But the rare occasion they did, it was not unpleasant but she could tell he would have rather been any where else. It would be a lie to say she did not find him attractive. Sirius Black was a very attractive man, just always cold towards her. Always coming off slightly rude with rushed conversation, looking anywhere but at her. Her heart pang with hurt each time, but she would push it down and think about her mystery husband.
What would he be like? Would he be cruel and unkind towards her, resentful even? Or would he cherish her like a delicate flower and look at her like a queen? These questions always flooded her mind. He could be freshly out of school or older than her own father.
"Do you think he's our age Reggie?" she floated into the air, staring at the ceiling from her friends bed.
Regulus was deep in thought, looking down at the question he had just answered. Muttering a "not sure" to her, before asking for a check on the answer.
"No, it's mandrake." She responded flopping back on the bed as he went back to hunching over his desk.
"Why do you even need this class? It has nothing to do with your future?" She continued to question him. And he of course, did not have an answer for her.
The teenagers had finished their last year at Hogwarts the year prior, both deciding to further their education. Regulus was attempting to enter the ministry for a job that she could not ever remember. She had started her training in becoming a healer, caring for people had always come naturally for her so why not make a career out of it.
Their parents had formed a bond with each other because of the two kids. The families were having a small dinner together at the Black residence. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing exciting, plus the best friends got to see each other. They enjoyed each other's company. So much so that many rumors went around school that they had coupled off, which was far from the truth. She had seen this boy with vomit all over his body from partying the night before, cleaned him up too. If any romantic feelings were harbored, well they just were not on either part. They told each other everything, down to the last, little detail.
There was a knock on the door, waiting for Regulus to allow them to come in. Kreacher popped his head into the room, telling them that supper was ready to be served and they were requested to the dinning room. They walked down together, laughing at stupidly fond memories of other Slytherins and mishaps that happened at school.
When they make it to the room, their parents are waiting. Father's had the head of the table, mothers chatting across from each other. Regulus sat next her at the table, in the spots the usually occupy, basically giggling to each other. Talking lowly to not be shushed and told to stop fooling around. The group had been waiting some time, food should be out any time now. The doors of the grand room open and close loudly when someone steps through them.
Sirius Black. It was rare he joined them in supper. His leather jacket wrapped around his body as a perfect fit, complimenting his body. She noticed his hair was almost to his shoulders with a slight curl. Nothing really compared to the short, curly hair his brother sported. He looked majestic almost with the way his hair shook as he walked to the chair right in front of her. Boots thumping against the ground each step he took. Her heartbeat seemed like it was mimicking the sounds as he moved closer.
She could also see the slight smudge of red lipstick on the collar of the jacket and the faintest smell of floral perfume. She looked down at her lap, she knew that scent. Nadia Antonov. A gorgeous woman that was the same age as Sirius. She had moved just before Hogwarts from Russia, her accent still held prevalent in her English to this day. She was tall, slim, and pale. She had beautiful dark hair and piercing eyes, breath-taking. She had also been an on and off again girlfriend of Sirius's. One of the two girlfriends she had known he had. She looked down at her plate when he sat down across her, feeling his eyes on her. He was never outright mean to her but she could feel the judgement radiating off him every time they were near each other.
"Glad you decided to join us tonight son." His father spoke uninterested.
"You forced me." Sirius spoke flat.
"Might as well get to it then. Sirius, you and Y/N are getting married soon. Congratulations." His mother spoke quick, clapping her hands together excitedly.
Her eyes widened, looking up from her lap. Immediately at Regulus, who wore an apologetic smile. She was marrying Sirius Black of all people. She transferred her gaze to her parents, the smiles on their face were radiant. Something she could not feel for the person directly across from her. She could practically feel the anger radiating for him.
"Her? HER! Of all people, you give me her?" His voice was somewhat calm, but spit venom.
She refused to look at him, instead opted to pick at the fabric of her skirt near her knee. His words stung enough, she did not need to see the look of disgust he would be wearing as well. The feeling weighted heavy on her chest, her soon-to-be husband's disgust towards her. All types of insecurities filled her, bursting at the seems.
She flinched at the sound of his fists hitting the supper table, eyes squeezing shut tightly to drown out the screaming match between Sirius and his mother. Only picking up bits about how rude he was being and that it wouldn't matter in the end because their decision was final. She tried to reach for Regulus's hand, seeking comfort from him. But he refused, pulling his hand away and sitting back in his seat in a huff of anger.
Sirius began to storm out of the room.
"Weddings in December. Be ready." That was all his father spoke the entire time before moving on to a discussion with her father.
The entire dinner was held in silence only suffocating the two friends, the adults continued as if nothing had happened just prior until they were excused from the table. She followed her friend back up to his bedroom, his steps quick and long. She could barely keep up with him, his irritating sighing doing nothing to help her own feelings. He only turned towards her when they reached the archway into his bedroom.
"You were the one thing I had that he did  not. You were my friend. Now you don't even have a choice. He still gets you, he still gets to steal from me. He has taken anything I have ever gotten, you were something he could not have. You were just supposed to be my annoying best fucking friend." Regulus ranted, blocking the entrance to the room.
"Reggie, I can still be your friend." She was afraid her voice would betray her, it did.
"I..." he huffed "I'm not sure I want something of his."
"Oh."
She nodded in understanding. She knew his feelings towards his brother, very particular about certain things. She was an understanding person, she knew his emotions were high and how well he could communicate them. He just needed time to adjust, they all needed time. But time was against them, December was only a month away. This wedding was going to happen no matter who protested and was going to happen when it was said to. There was no changing anyone's mind. She smiled sadly at her friend before asking him to move so she could collect her things.
"I think it's best if I leave now. I'll see you soon Reg." She spoke quietly with a broken voice. Her attempts to hold back on crying were almost deceiving her.
"No. You don't have to leave.." She cut him off.
"It's okay Reggie, really. It's a big change, everyone needs some time to process it."
With that she walked out of his room, a questionable feeling in her chest. She knew this marriage hurt her friend, after Sirius's outburst it hurt her too. But there was no time for pity, she just had to push through it. She walked to her mother. Both her and Walburga were chatting in a living space. No doubt about the wedding based on the swatches laid along the table in front of them.
"Hello mother, Mrs. Black. Thank you for the wonderful evening. But I must be off, I have an important exam coming up. I look forward to the next time I see you." She wore her best smile, one that gave the facade of happiness.
"As well" Walburga addressed the girl
before moving back to her mother, holding up another poring of colors and went deep into discussion once again.
Early morning, she wakes up
It's time for makeup, perfect smile
That announcement had been over a month ago. Today was the day of the wedding. It was a month built in isolation, she had not seen Sirius since, or really even Regulus. If it had not been for her healer classmates, she would have not spoken to anyone the entire time. Her world has been a quiet chaos, overwhelming her with no sign of stopping for a long time. The lonely feeling lodging itself deep into her chest, stuffing up her throat without a centimeter of air to flow through.
Her mother had her woken up early, barely past dawn. The wedding was not for hours, but she started prepping the event. She went into the bathroom to an already filled tub, steam rolling of the porcelain tub. The bathroom was honestly the only place she had recently for peace. Stripping out of her pajamas, she dipped into the scorching water, letting the water take over her body. The heat felt amazing against her stresses body.
She wordlessly flicked on the radio she had on the counter. With closed eyes, she relaxed into the water with an earful of "Try A Little Tenderness" by Otis Redding. It had been a favorite of her song and even musician since she was a little girl, dreaming about her very own wedding that was only hours away now. She was not really dreading the wedding per se, everything was just extremely stressful. Soaking in the water was a must have for today. She hummed along to the beat, running water along her arms with a soaped cloth.
She scrubbed her head, trying to cleanse the self doubt away. She did not want today to be miserable, but she feared that was out of her grasp. Dunking herself, water rushed filling her ears. Making her feel as physically heavy as she had been emotionally. Coming up only for a gasp of air before quickly submerging again. It had finally come time to step from the safety of her tub, only when her mother knocked relentlessly letting her know her time was running out.
The entire day was spent pampering, trying to get everything perfect to the finest detail. She would be officially wed in four hours, the finishing touches were placed on her face. Staring back in the mirror, it felt like someone else in her shoes. Not that it was a bad thing, she felt confident and beautiful, especially once her hair was pulled and pinned in a way that looked ethereal. This was the girl her younger self always pictured would be standing at the alter, dolled up in a white dress.
Stepping into the dress felt unreal, especially once it was completely zipped up on her body. The long, solid sleeves clung to her arms before cutting off at the wrists. The collar sitting lower on her chest, just enough for her collarbones to be on display. The neckline V'd towards the center of the chest, hugging at the waist before flowing outwards as the fabric reached the floor. The dress was fitted perfectly and made her feel like a real princess, like a queen.
The "couple" were to be wed in Black manor, which sort of stresses her out. The last time she had entered that place, nothing good came of it. But she was optimistic about today. Ready for it to bring new opportunities and chances. She arrived a few hours before with her mother, again touching up her makeup and hair before slipping on her white heels and giving herself a once over again in the mirror. 'Ready as I'll every be' she thought, wiping her sweaty hands down the side of her dress. She sat at the vanity waiting for the time to come.
She really had no say in anything about the wedding. Her only suggestion was to include the gold color, not because she wanted it to look or be expensive. The color relaxed her, the shininess gave a weird comfort. 'The color of wisdom, though many only see the greed that follows gold around." She could not remember who told her that, but it stuck. All she hoped was that it was included in some aspects, give her some control over this situation, over her life.
It felt like years, waiting in a desolate room by herself. Her mind racing, constantly going over the date. December 16, 1980. December 16, 1980. She was only eighteen, her husband twenty-one. Everything felt so quick, so rushed. Her chest felt it was caving in on itself, her dress was restricting airflow to her lungs. Drowning, that's what it felt like. She was drowning, suffocating from the pressure of her life. Hysteric is almost how she felt, pacing back and forth in the cold room. She's been wallowing in stress and the threat of tears for hours now. The pressure behind her eyes and between her temples screamed against them. They were centimeters away from falling when a light knock filled the silent space.
She moved slowly towards the door, it should not have been time yet. She slowly opened the door, her body hidden and only an eye peeking through.
"Hi!" A brightly, loving smile filled her vision, along with the bright red hair, "do you mind if I come in?"
She did not speak, but let the woman in. It was Lily Evans, or Potter now. Her and James had gotten married the summer before, she had heard about it through the papers and Regulus.
"I know how stressful today can be, and it's never fun to be completely isolated!" Lily took a seat on the ottoman at the end of the bed, "are you crying blood?"
Lily jumped up from her seat trying to tend to the girl.
"No." her voice small "Well yes, but this happens." 
She waved Lily off, grabbing a white cloth and dabbed away the pink tinted tears she had not realized shedded. Although the company was refreshing, she and Lily had never been friends. She looked up to Lily academically during school and admired her for her stubborn and self-assured attitude she always wore. As if reading her mind.
"Marrying into this family is a change. I mean I married James, but Sirius is basically his brother. He's a good man, stupid, but good. Everything will fall into place. Hopefully his head levels off soon." She let out a little laugh, easing the tense mood that held the air originally. "Besides, you look gorgeous. Anyone could see that!"
She and Lily spent the next several minutes chatting like they were old friends. Lily welcomed a warm light, and a comforting presences in the dark manor they were currently occupying. She helped apply finishing touches physically and mentally, trying to help the girl feel as beautiful as she looked. Even quickly removing a light pink stain from the chest of the dress with her permission.
"So, I'll see you at the after party at James and I's house? Harry is with my parents for the weekend, I could not be more excited for this party!" Lily cooed at the  thought of a normal weekend.
"What?" She was confused, what party.
"Sirius put it together. Oh I'll see you later." Lily left as her mother barged into the room, ready to usher her daughter to the alter where her husband was waiting.
She took the time the think about what Lily had said. Sirius had put an after party together? Maybe it was a surprise for after the wedding, a peace offering between the soon to be wed. She could not dwell on the thoughts for too long. A bouquet was stuffed into her hands as her father inter locked their arms. Her mother masked her face with the sheer vail, clapping her hands together before rushing back into the room that held the Black family, Her own family, and Sirius's friends.
The organ vibrates the floor as a wedding tune began to play, signaling the entrance of the bride. As the doors opened, the rows of people stood and faced them. Her heartbeat was in her throat, all the eyes on her was overwhelming, she noticed one set was on anything but her. Sirius could not bring himself to even glance in her direction. A stabbing sensation filled her heart and lungs, he could at least acknowledge she was suffering as well as he was in the arrangement.
Towards the end of the rows, she spotted Lily, who wore a bright smile and gave her the thumbs up in encouragement. She took a deep breath and continued with her fathers pace before reaching the alter. Sirius looked unimpressed and bored with the whole function. Maybe that was why she felt so guilty for finding him incredible attractive in this moment.
Sirius was wearing a black suit, crisp and tailored to his toned body. A sleek, black tie laid over the black vest that's as snug to his torso. The black overcoat fell off his shoulders, a white undershirt contrasting the dark colors. His hair was slicked back on the sides, the ends curled in an orderly fashion. A sight she had never seen, usually he had unkempt curls framing his face. He looked pale, with a slight shadow of facial hair peeking through the undertones of his clear skin. He was breathtaking to say the least, but his eyes bothered her. They almost held disgust or distaste, an uncomfortable feeling filled her chest. She knew she was not the pick of the litter but marrying her could not have been that bad.
He reluctantly moved the vail behind her head. Peering down at her for a second before moving his eyes away from her quickly. The officiant had begun, his deep voice spooking her more than bringing comfort. Truthfully, his gravely voice upset her. It was scary, she was already terrified by the scene unfolding in front of her. She zoned out, not listening to a word said until a knife was held in front of her face. Sirius took it hastily, and sliced a small cut into his hand. Reluctantly, she did the same. Wincing at the sharp blade against the palm of her hand, almost crying because of the painful cut. She did not handle pain very well.
The officiant spoke a few more words as blood oozed from both their hands. He ushered the pair to connect their right hands together, the ones that had been cut. He placed the respective rings onto their left ring fingers, a weird, tingly sensation spread through their veins with the mingling of their blood being the source. The Black family wanted them to be tied to each other by blood, thus having their interlocked fingers start to burn as the union became almost painful.
They were finally allowed to release each other, the officiant casting a spell to heal and clean their hands.
"I, now pronounce you as Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black."
Both their respective families clapped formally. But Sirius's friends whooped and hollered at the union. As the newly weds walked passed them on the way out, James gave a loud wolf whistle, causing Lily to smack him in the chest.
The couple walked completely out of the house into an awaiting carriage. The ride was silent, she had no idea where they were even heading. Sirius had still not spoken to her, and she was unsure when or if he ever would. It shows that he was still extremely upset about the arrangement. The carriage stopped after about thirty minutes of flying, outside of a townhouse. The magical house appeared completely wedged between the other muggle houses. Sirius silently entered the home, as if he knew his way around it already. He silently went up the stairs, she stayed in the entrance basking in the place.
Sirius ran down the steps with hefty stomps, grumbling as he did so.
"Welcome home. I'm going out, so don't wait up for me. Your room is on the left." His words were fast as he pushed past and out the door. It clicked shut with a loud clash, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut and tense.
Instead of dwelling on the boy, she moved up the stairs to find the room he was talking about. It was decorated the exact same as her room back at her parents house. It was the first thing this entire day, or even this month to bring her any comfort. She flopped down on her bed, still in her full wedding attire. The events of today settled in. She was finally married, to a young and handsome man. Whom had just left her alone for the night, the night of her wedding. Tears started pouring out of her eyes now as loud sobs wracked the whole house. He was going to a party he planned for their wedding and did not even tell her about it. Lily told her, Lily said she would see her later. Now she wondered what Sirius was going to tell all of them.
Mascara and eyeliner ran down her cheeks, her face became streaky as she sunk into the bed. She was alone on her wedding night, the most joyous day of her life. Well what was supposed to be joyous.
She changed into an old, battered long sleeve night shirt and fluffy pajama pants, before she charmed her hair to just lay in a ratted bun instead of pinned together like before. She did not even bother washing her face, leaving the remanence of her pain on her face. It would leave another painful reminder in the morning but she did not care at the moment. Her body and mind was extremely fatigued from the events of the day.
She silently crept down the stairs, exploring only slightly while trying to locate the kitchen. She knew if this was Sirius's home there would be alcohol somewhere. She hit the jackpot after opening one cabinet in the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey, forgoing a glass, she popped the seal off and gave it a big chug.
Once she was back in her room, she turned her record player on that had been moved into her room. Playing her favorite record, she once again today sang along to "Try A Little Tenderness", while crying into a bottle of whiskey that was soothing her soul slightly after every chug. Soon the bottle was empty and so were her tears, she just laid on her bed and listened to the song on repeat.
Isn't she lovely, this Hollywood girl
And they say
She's so lucky
It was March, spring smells started filling the air slowly. She and Sirius had been married for around four months now, four long, lonely, and cold months. They never spent anytime together, other than the slight PDA at family gatherings and galas. The bare minimum of an arm around the other for a few seconds of the night. His mother had been shoving the ideas of an heir, the pressure of continuing their pure-blood legacy with another Black to join the bunch. This would not have been such a bad idea, but their marriage was not consummated yet. She was not really sure if it ever will be.
She sat at a table, body clad with a darling dress. It was a baby blue, long sleeved dress. Flowing down passed her feet, a low slit running up the side. A drastic contrast to the dark colors of the people around her. Champagne buzzed through her system, making her brain a little fuzzy and her cheeks a tint of red. Her husband was no where to be found at the moment, she had just escaped his mother with more pressuring of a child.
She had recently been thinking of children. The house is very lonely, mostly just occupying her and a sweet, little elf named Peekey. She enjoyed their shared moments in the solitude of the dead home. Sirius was always away for work, or out on the weekends with Remus. Nothing was really confining her to the home, but with no friends outside of Healing School, she spent many cold nights alone in her bed.
"Your mother is such a... pest!" She whispered out to Regulus. Looking around to make sure no one was listening.
One thing had come from attending all of these gatherings. Her friendship with Regulus has rekindled, after hours filled with tears and sobs from both ends. Now they often spent most of the evenings at parties with each other. Regulus was much more intoxicated then she was. She did not mind though, the feeling of taking care of someone and them depending on her, filled her heart with happiness.
"Woah there, no need for name calling." Regulus snorted with rolled eyes. "Honestly, pest is too nice of a word."
"I'm serious Reggie. She keeps bombarding me with questions of a child! Sirius and I have not even..." Regulus cut his friend off.
"I do not need to hear about the sex life of my brother."
She huffed, stressed from the nights antics already. "I was going to say kissed."
She sipped more on her glass of champagne, scanning the room for any familiar faces. Only ones she did not really feel like conversing with in the moment. Polishing off her glass, she watched Regulus down another shot before stomping away towards the bathroom. While he was away, she refilled her glass and swirled it around. Many people gawked at her, mostly younger women with a few exceptions to older ones. In awe of the woman who married THE Sirius Black. They would constantly ask questions about what marriage was like to such a dreamy man. Call it what you want, but she wanted some fun with her life. She would make up wild stories of adventures and dates they had been on. Not wanting to crush their dreams of a doting husband, they would all fawn over sweet stories she would make up on the spot. Giggling slightly to herself when they would comment on how loving he seemed. Some even asked for dirty details, which she would flat out avoid talking about. Not only did she not know anything about Sirius sexually, she had no experience herself to fabricate a believable story. The questions were also extremely personal and uncomfortable for her.
"Oh dear, why don't you go find your husband. Call it an early night, you know. Heirs do not just make themselves." Walberga placed a gloved hand on her shoulder, ushering her to find Sirius with more comments on children.
She did not look very hard for Sirius, he was probably already gone. She was stationed near the restrooms, searching for her drunk friend. She spotted him across the room at the refreshment table once more. She quickly gathered him up, pulling the alcoholic beverage out of his hands and onto the table.
"Okay Reg, time to go home."
The journeys home with drunk Regulus are always a fun trip. They stopped around three times on the ride home for him to throw up outside of the carriage. Upon returning to her shared home, he spewed about twice, once on her shoes. She cleaned him up, tipping a glass of water into his mouth. She changed him into one of the spare sets of clothes he kept in her room, an agreement they made after Regulus had woken up in a puke-drenched shirt.
She laid him in her bed and walked to the connected bathroom to ready herself for bed. Her body felt the relief as the dress slipped off her body, she hung it up on the closet door. Switching into way less formal and more ratty sleeping clothes. Her hair pulled back messily, and her face cleansed of make up. They had at least three more events to make an appearance at within the next two weeks. Events she was dreading because his mother would be there.
Regulus was sprawled out on her bed, looking as if he was in a deep sleep. As she laid herself under the covers, he rolled towards her.
"You know, I'm a Black." He stated.
She giggled at his statement, "I do know that Reggie."
He laughed a bit groggy, rolling onto his other side.
"I just mean, I can give an heir and no one would question the paternity." He mumbled.
"What!?" She sort of yelled at her friend. The only response was loud snores from her drunk friend. Drunk, he was drunk. That's what she kept reminding herself as she tried to fall asleep.
The next morning, she decided to just forget what Regulus had proposed. He was beyond drunk and just processing the things she had said hours before.
Regulus woke up at some point in the afternoon, gladly accepting the potions she had to cure his hangover. Already having some food and water prepared for him, doting on people was a way she showed love. The thought of having someone to care for kept her heart beating.
"You know, I meant what I said last night."
"What?" The color draining from her face.
"I know mother can be... overbearing. Sirius does not seem like he would help you in this situation. I'm his brother and your best friend. Let me do this to make up for my actions when the marriage was announced." He held her hand, sitting up on her bed with the covers bunched around his clothed body.
"I don't know Reg, I still don't think I could do that to Sirius." She frowned with a sigh, truthfully she thinks that kids would make her life happier.
"Think about it as a friend helping a friend? Just think about it and the offer will stand. But for now, I gotta go. Work calls me in a few hours unfortunately."
Regulus left giving her one last "think about it" before heading to his home. The hours of the day dragged on slowly. She was not sure that Sirius would be home, but decided on making supper for them anyway. Which lead to another cold, and lonely night shared with her house elf.
She is so lucky, but why does she cry?
If there is nothing missing in her life
Why do tears come at night?
There was a birthday party at the Potter's today. For little Harry, his first birthday. Sirius had actually told her about this party and asked if she wanted to go. Granted he asked about two days ago, but none the less. This was the first event with his friends that he had asked her to tag along with in the seven months they had been married.
"Oh finally! I have been trying to get you to come over for months now!" Lily exclaimed towards the girl as she entered, taking the present for her son out of the girls hands and gave her a swift hug. "I tell Sirius to bring you every time he comes over, I was starting to think you don't like us."
This caught her off guard. She did not even know Lily well enough to really dislike her, but the fact that she wanted her to come over and Sirius never told her.
"I'm sorry Lily, I've been having some... health issues recently."
"Are you-" She cut Lily off quickly.
"Oh no, not that. School and health issues. I'm always drained or doing some tests, but I finally had a free weekend and couldn't be happier to be here."
Although, there was a ping of sadness for her conversation with Lily. Plus, watching Harry all night did not help with the yearn for a child of her own. She never could find a time to bring it up to Sirius.
And again, she went home alone that night. Sirius jetting off to the bar with Remus, or at least that was what Remus told her they were doing. But she did not really care in the moment. She had a good day, left the house, spent time with old acquaintances from school, and got to see cute babies all day. Nothing could put her in a down mood.
It was around, roughly 9 p.m. when the doorbell rang. She was little surprised by that, normally Regulus called ahead and just walked in. Remus would walk in especially if he was with Sirius. She made her way down from her room, in only a tank top and shorts due to the temperature rising outside.
"Hello?" She answered the door a bit drowsy considering she was almost asleep a minute prior.
"Oh 'ello, little von. Is Sirius 'ome?" It was Nadia.
Nadia, Sirius's girlfriend before the arraignment was made. She looked as beautiful as ever standing in front of her in all her tall glory. It just did not make sense to her why she would be at her home.
"Oh, um no sorry. He isn't home right now." Her voice timid, like she was afraid to answer the woman in front of her.
"Shame. Wanted to tell 'em I had great time with 'em the other day. That I can not wait for next time. You tell 'em day for me?" Her smile looked devilish, like she was smirking in a triumphant victory.
The wind seemed knocked from her lungs and ears clogged.
"Sure, I'll let him know. You have nice night and be safe." She spoke before closing the door as the beautiful woman sauntered down the stairs to the house.
She felt like tears were going to explode out of her eyes, she did not understand why it hurt so much. She felt so dumb, of course he was cheating on her. She also felt stupid for being upset, Sirius treated her considerable good for what some arranged marriages have been, the relatives she's seen. He is not abusive, just they do not communicate. He can be cold towards her when they speak, the little they do speak, but he has never been extremely cruel towards her.
She feels betrayed in a way, she put her happiness aside to stay loyal to a man who could careless about her in general. Without thinking she picked up the landline in the kitchen and dialed Regulus's number.
"I've changed my mind Reggie. I want a baby. Meet at my house Friday night." She did not even wait for him to respond before placing the phone back down.
Her school had just let out for the year, her week was so barren that she decided she would not waste a single night sober. Starting tonight, she took a cheap bottle of wine up to her bedroom, listening to music, and sipping on the bottle. She thought about her life once more. What had she done to deserve this? She was always good, always listening and obeying. She did not reject the idea of marrying someone her parents paired her to, even when it meant losing a friend. Now her husband is cold and unfaithful. She could handle him being cold and resenting towards her, but the fact that he would seek comfort in someone else. It just hurt, was she not pretty enough for him? Not his type? Was he repulsed by the idea of her so much that he spent every weekend and day he could away from her and their shared home. She was not even invited to her own weddings after party because her husband arranged it without telling her.
She feels silly, she's living a comfortable life that anyone would be happy to have. Technically she is married to The Sirius Black, any girl would swoon at those thoughts. Her home is a decent size, enough for her to have her own space. She had doting elves that are just too cute, lavish parties that require gorgeous dresses and expensive jewelry to attend. Riches from an old, wealthy family, though she does not dive into their funds and uses her own money. Except when her mother in law gives her money for dresses. She was about to start her own healing career. Her life was like a dream come true to others, making her feel selfish for wanting more. Pathetic for crying and drinking over what is considered minor in their marriage.
This went on more about two more days, drinking until she passed out, throwing up on her sheets, sobering up enough to change them and lounge around for the rest of the day, barricading in her room. She took two days off of drinking, her stash was running low and she needed to run to the store. But she felt no motivation to leave her bed.
Thursdays were days Sirius did not work, so he normally went out on Wednesdays. She assumed he had been gone for hours now, she was half a bottle of whiskey deep, and now out of alcohol. But she was not done for tonight, not even close. With the day approaching for Regulus to show up, the more nervous she got, the more nervous she was the more scared she became. Life moved so fast for her, she was not even twenty yet. But this how life goes for the woman in her family and many others. The fact that she was yet to conceive a child was alarming to her parents and Sirius's, although they did not know they had not even tried.
Not her best moment, but decided she would go to the store in this moment for more alcohol. The air was bit colder than she thought, hugging herself she stumbles down the paved side walk, clutching money in one of her hands. Singing quietly to herself, a strong breeze almost knocked her over. She stumbled almost to the ground, laughing at the fact before steadying herself and continuing towards the store.
She bumped shoulders with a tall, lanky man.
"Oops! Sorry Sir." She giggled before walking forward.
The man gently grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him and around to face him.
"What are you doing out this late?" He asked, almost sounding concerned.
"Oh hi Remus! Jus- gettin' more of me whiskeyyyy, I ran out." She pouted at the end of her sentence.
"You really shouldn't be out at night, especially drunk and alone. Where are your shoes?" She looked down at her bare feet, toes stiffly wiggling in the cold.
"Oh!" she giggled "must've forgotten them? I jus-really got out of me bed." Her accent coming through a little thicker.
"Okay, you barely have clothes, let's get you home. Where is Sirius?" Remus questioned, leaning forward to help the girl lean against him. Taking the cash from her hand when she complained about it cramping.
"Ion knowww... thought he was with youuu!!" She poked his belly slightly before focusing back on her stepping.
"You know, hodoubenekakskndbrehisyxh."
"What did you say?" Remus laughed at her incoherent speech a little bit.
"I have no idea." She hiccuped and held tighter around his waist when she felt she was about to fall.
"You are pretty entertaining little one, you should come out with us some time."
"Sirius never invites me, didn't even 'vite me to me own wedding party." She grumbled.
Remus grimaced, eyebrows furrowed, "he did not invite you?"
"Nope, Lily told me. But why go somewhere I am unwanted you know."
"We want you there. You are our friends wife, we want to be your friend too." Remus reasoned with her.
"Maybe. But some people do not. That's okay though, it doesn't matter." Her body shutters as the urge to cry flows up into her eyes. She's unable to control the tears that flow down.
Remus stops when he hears her sobbing. "Hey it's okay, there is no need to- is that blood? Why are your tears red? Are you crying blood? Oh shit!! What do I..."
Remus started to freak out, but she calmed him down in a second.
"It's a medical 'dition. I 'cry blood' sometimes. I fine, promise." She smiled at him as he wiped her eyes, but another wave of tears washes over her. "I think Sirius is cheating on me."
Remus stiffened, "why do you think that?"
"Nadia came over the other day. Said so, with her too. Are we almost home, I'm tired."
Remus picked her up and carried her the block back to her home, he had been heading this way originally. But him and Sirius had some matter to discuss currently. When he reached the home someone was outside, in front of the door.
Regulus had also shown up wanted to speak to Sirius.  Remus set her down in Regulus grasp, she giggled to her friend, telling him stupid jokes and how much she loved him as her best friend.  The door was locked and she did not have her keys on her. Remus started banging on the door, waiting for Sirius to open up.
The sight behind the door on Sirius's end was honestly hilarious. His best friend looking slightly irritated, his brother worried and almost nervous, and his wife smiling and drunk beyond recollection.
"We need to talk." Remus said flat.
The group moved inside.
"I need to talk with you too brother, but I'm going to take care of her first." Regulus walked her up the stairs and out of the vision of the other boys.
"So what is it you need to talk about Rem." Sirius asked relaxed, lounging on the couch, assuming Remus would follow.
"Are you serious?" Remus stood in front of him.
"Yes?" Sirius looked confused.
"No you fucking idiot. I found YOUR wife drunk and alone, almost into the middle of the town. Barely clothed, no shoes, and a wad of cash in her hands." Remus tried to keep his voice steady, tossing the cash into Sirius's chest.
"Oh. I had no idea she was gone." Sirius felt uncomfortable under his friends gaze.
"She told me how you don't invite her out with us on the weekends, and I know Lily practically begs you. Did you really not invite her to the party after your-HER wedding." Remus's voice was fluctuating between anger and disappointment.
Sirius closed his eyes. He felt horrible about how he had been treating her, how cold he had been. How stand-offish, but truthfully he just did not know how to process and handle his emotions.
"Merlin Sirius! Do you know anything about your wife?" Remus exclaimed, gripping his hair in irritation.
"Not really." He sighed, holding his face in his hands.
"She cries blood."
"She- what? She was bleeding? Was she okay?" Sirius perked up at the mention of blood.
"No! She cries blood apparently, her tears have a red tint in them." Remus softened his voice looking at his shocked friend.
Sirius knew he fucked up, he knew that three months into their marriage, he knew that the hours after their officiated ceremony. He felt bad, horrible, but he did not know how to fix it.
"She thinks you are cheating on her." Remus spoke, his voice becoming strict.
"What? I'm not cheating on her." Sirius looked confused. He had been faithful to her, although he was cold, he would never cheat on someone. "You know I would never, not after... not after her."
"I know that. But does she. I guess Nadia came over the other, told her to tell you what a great time she had and you should see each other again. Sirius have you two even... consummated the marriage?" Sirius shook his head, causing a groan to slip from Remus's mouth, "I know you wouldn't but please tell me you didn't." Remus was extremely serious. Although he was not her friend, he knew how sweet and kind she normally was. She was different from all the girls Sirius had been with previously.
"No! I haven't really even seen Nadia for three months. I haven't slept with her since before our wedding. She keeps trying to coerce me, but I refuse her. I swear it Rem." Sirius pleaded.
"Yeah, that's something you need to tell her tomorrow." Regulus walked down the stairs towards the pair of boys. "She called me the other night, drunk as all get out. She really thinks you are cheating. It crushing her more than the fact that you don't talk to her."
"I don't know what to do!" Sirius dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to relive some of the pressure "I don't know how to talk to her! I've never not known how to talk to a girl before her."
"Well big brother, you have until Friday. I'm supposed to come over while you are gone and give your wife a baby." Regulus said nonchalantly.
"What!?" Remus and Sirius shouted at the same time.
"You don't touch my wife!" Sirius exclaimed pointing an accusatory finger at his younger brother.
Regulus held his hands up in defense. "I'm not doing it because I want to steal your wife from you. She's my best friend, never been nothing more. But mother is pressuring her about when the next heir is born. Since you haven't noticed it at every single family events, too busy doing whatever. I offered it in a drunk stupor and she declined. But one night she called me crying saying she wanted a baby and wanted it to be Friday while you were out with your friends."
Honestly this knowledge crushes Sirius. He felt so guilt ridden for how this whole situation had ended, especially since most of it is his fault.
"You are so lucky! I am such a good brother. I didn't have to tell you about this, I could have just given her what she wants. What would satisfy everyone involved, but I knew her hesitance in betraying you. Even when she believes you are betraying her, she shook up stairs because she was scared the time had come. I had to reassure her and wipe away her tears that she was safe. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TEARS YOU HAVE CAUSED HER! Huh? How many crying phone calls and times I've had to come over to make sure she was okay after so many lonely nights. She always wore a smile towards me, always said nice things about you to me. People have told her since your wedding that she's lucky, so lucky to have had you as her husband. But brother, I believe it is you who are lucky to have her as your wife." Regulus stopped his rant, continuing to pace across the room, as he had done during the whole one-sided argument.
There was an uncomfortable silence between the three men in the parlor. All sorts of emotions clouding judgments and rational thinking. Sirius had silently decided what he had to do, what he needed to do.
"Regulus. Do not come back to my house, at least not on Friday. Remus, I'm canceling this weekend. Now if you would please leave my home." Sirius spoke in a monotone voice, a voice that made Remus uneasy having barely heard this tone before.
Silently, he watched Sirius descend up the stairs and out of sight around a corner before exiting the home.
If there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?
Her nerves were at an all time high, today was the day that Regulus was supposed to come over. She was having extreme second thoughts, she still was not sure she could betray Sirius to this level. A child with his own brother, it just felt morally inappropriate and embarrassing.
Even though he offered first, she felt she was using Regulus in a poorly planned game of chess. Like he was a pawn in a little game, but she was a pawn in another game much higher above herself. She had spent that couple days isolated in her room. No attempts to contact Regulus and in return he had not tried to contact her either. The time for him to arrive was vastly approaching, butterflied filled her stomach at the thought.
She wrapped her arms around her torso, covering up the silk nightgown she had on with a matching silk robe. Her body felt cold and numb, like an out of body experience. She felt this would be another night of crying alone, no comfort and none expected to be given.
Her ears perked up at the hefty knock on the door. Bile raised in her throat. Merlin, she needed this baby so her in laws would back off for a bit. But she could not do it. Her heart clenched at the fear of the child she may never have. She just could not go through with this plan, not if it could potentially hurt Sirius.
She made her way to the door, hands shaking and legs wobbly.
"I can't do it Reggie! I'm sorry." She sobbed into her hands, not really sure why she's crying.
"Can we talk?" Her head snapped upwards at the voice. Sirius. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, her heart racing like light speed.
"Uh, Sure." she wiped her eyes quickly, confused when Sirius took one of her hands in his and walked her to sit down next to him on her bed. He seemed just as jittery, just as nervous as she was currently. They looked like messes and it was the truest sight of this couple.
"I know what you and my brother had planned." He said simply.
She stammered, lip quivering. "I'm sorry Sirius! I'm so sorry. I understand if you would like me to leave." Her head hung low, shame flooded her system.
"Darling, look at me." He spoke softly, nudging her cheek with his thumb. Looking into her sad and puffy eyes, offering a small smile to her. "I am not upset about the arrangement. I am upset because of how awful I have been towards you."
There was silence between the pair, very awkward and suffocating.
"I have not cheated on you. I know Nadia says otherwise. But I have not been with her since about two weeks before our wedding. It just did not feel right." Sirius confessed to his wife.
Her tears built up again, spilling over without a second thought. "I was going to be the one who cheated?"
She pulled her hands out of his, feeling disgusted by her own skin. Deeming it not worthy to be held against his skin, though he was not perfect.
"Sweetheart, it's okay! Regulus told me the other day. I am not mad, I promise. I understand the pressure you are under with mother. Which is why I am here, well one of the reasons." He grabbed her hands once more, having her look directly into his eyes.
"I think you and I should have a baby. I want to be a good husband to you, I just... I don't know how to be good to you. You confuse me and make me feel weird things, things I do not really understand. I've wasted so much time on being scared, I ignored your pain and sorrow, my little dove." Sirius stammered, his own eyes seeming to tear up.
"Sirius, it's okay-" he cut her off.
"No! It's not. I have so much to make up, I don't even know how to start. But let me show you love the best way I know how! Let me give you a baby and we can work from that point on, please?" Sirius slid off the bed and kneeled in front of her sitting body, pulling her hands up his lips for slow and sensual kisses. "I promise, if you help me, I will become the most emotional and loving husband. I have a lot to make up and I want to start working on that. I want you to feel the same way about me, that I have felt since my fourth year at school."
She gasped in shock. "You liked me in school?"
"Well, I didn't know then. But thinking about it and the teasing the boys gave me at times. I definitely did have a tiny crush on you." His face blushed red, embarrassed over such a tiny secret.
"Okay. We can have a baby, but please tell me our love won't only be physical?" She sounded sad, such a tone that broke his heart.
"Please teach me how to properly love you? How to handle my emotions, help me not become my father." He leaned close to her, engulfing her in a tight embrace. Rolling onto the bed, his face buried into her neck as small sobs escape his lips.
They laid together sideways on the bed for a little while, holding each other as if the other was going to fade away from their grasps. Sirius was holding her tighter than she was him, his face still buried into her neck. Inhaling her sweet scent that drove him mad, caressing her cheek with the hand that laid adorn on her face. Finally showing signs of tenderness that she had been craving for months at this point. While he caressed her face, her hand was scratching along the base of his skull. Twirling the ends of his hair before running lightly over the sensitive skin, causing a shiver to run down his spine.
His sobs quieted down, not even sniffling traced his mouth. His eyes still heavy and red with evidence of crying, slowly he started peppering light kisses along her neck. Her hand stopped playing with his hair, surprised by how loving Sirius was being.
"Why'd-ya stop?" He whined out, his words slurred as if he were drunk from her touch.
"I have a confession Sirius." She sat up and moved towards her pillows at the headboard of her bed. "I've never done this before."
Sirius noticed the pink tinge on her cheeks, finding her shyness adorable. But he understood her nervousness as he intently listened to the words she spoke.
"I-I just don't... I don't want it to be bad for you." She huffed, her hands falling in her crossed lap as her head hung low.
"I can promise, it won't be bad for me." He chuckled lightly trying to lighten the mood before following her up the bed and sitting next to her. "We can take it slow, or we don't even have to do that tonight love."
"But, I want to. Do you want to y'know with me." Her face was bright red, voice lacking confidence at her own statement.
"Of course I do! You are my wife after all. We can go slow, I'll be gentle. Lay down for me darling?" Sirius spoke with comforting enthusiasm.
She did as he told her, scooting down slightly to lay on her back comfortably. Her heart raced wildly as Sirius watched her move. They were not even touching, yet the whole scene felt so intimate to her. It did not help that this was her first time and knowing Sirius was experienced did little to bring her comfort.
"Have you ever kissed anyone?" She shook her head at him, feeling embarrassment burning again. "It's okay sweetheart, I don't mind teaching you."
Sirius crawled over her, hovering on all fours over her slightly rigid body. He ducked his head down to slowly press his lips against hers, a little more than a peck. He gently moved her arms to wrap around his neck, nudging one of her hands back into his hair causing her to giggle against his lips. Sirius turned his head sideways, deepening the kiss by putting more assertion into it. They kissed each others lips until she started gaining confidence in herself.
Sirius broke the kiss, pulling back completely to sit on his heels. Her legs were trapped underneath his body. She whined a little as he pulled away, her body raising to follow his lips earning a chuckle from him. "Have patience little one."
He rolled the black, tight-fitted shirt off of his broad chest, muscles flexing slightly as he tossed it aside onto the floor. She studied his naked chest. Acknowledging his toned build from years in quidditch, his smooth, pale skin, so warm and welcoming. Breath hitching at the trail of dark hair that disappeared under his belt. Sirius shifted his body, pulling her smooth legs to frame around his hips. Her short nightgown bunching around her hips, flashing a slight glimpse of her panties.
He leaned towards her lips again, the kiss stronger than the other ones previously. On instinct, she wrapped her arms around his neck once more. One hand combing through his locks that she noticed he seemed to throughly enjoy. His chest pressed against her, the silk of the nightgown raised bumps against his skin. Sirius's tongue timidly licked across her closed lips, wanting gain access to the inside of her mouth. She parted her lips slightly, the tips of their tongues touching ever so slightly.
He slipped his tongue further into her mouth, exploring the taste of her. Her body became stiff once more, unsure of what to do with her own tongue as his invaded her mouth. She quite liked the taste of him, but became flustered in the thoughts of how she should move her mouth against his skilled tongue. He pulled his mouth away from hers, a string of saliva following before snapping against his lower lip.
"Just relax and follow my lead." Sirius's spoke lovingly, petting the hair along her forehead to try and soothe her nerves.
Their tongues meet once again, he licked delicately at her tongue. She followed the motions he was doing with uneasy fervor. She liked the feeling of the soft muscle against her own, creating an intoxicating feeling of euphoria and pleasure. Sirius drug one of his fingers down her face, tracing the outline of her features as her reaches her neck. Slow touches cascade further down until it softly caressed over her nipple, his large hands engulfing most of her breast. "Is this okay?" He asked pulling away once more. She mumbled a 'yes' as she closed her eyes, basking in the feeling of his hands in her body in such a sensual way.
His hand needed at the tender flesh, his thumb circling around her hardening bud with a feather-like touch. Sirius moved his face back into the side of her neck, showering slow kisses in many places. He sucked slightly on her sweet skin and with the right amount of pressure on her breast, pulled an unexpected moan from her throat. Not only surprising herself but Sirius as well. He bucked his hips forward into her, almost moaning at the noise of her himself.
"Can I take this off?" His fingers moved from her breast to the end of her nightgown, toying with the hem between his fingers waiting for her permission.
She agreed and sat up slightly so he could pull the dress off completely. This left her bare breast and only panties covering her body. Sirius looked mesmerized by the sight of uncharted skin between them.
"I know it's not much to offer." She stated, noticing his staring.
"Let me show you something." Sirius moved off of her, popping the button of his dark jeans open and practically ripping them off his legs. Leaving both of them in only underwear. He took her hand and lead it down the happy trail of dark hair. "This! This is what you do to me, you little minx. You are so beautiful!" He whined out as he helped her palm him through his thin, black boxers.
Sirius pulled her hands away from him, leaning forward once more. He kissed around her chest, along the fat of her breasts and up the valley between them. He repeated the action with his tongue dragging around them as well. He enclosed one of her nipples into his warm mouth, sucking against it like it was his life's mission. The noises he was pulling from her made him feel like a god. The fact that she was enjoying his company and he could give her pleasure had his ears, as well as other parts, rushing with blood.
He caressed a hand along her naval, rubbing soothing circles into her hips as they slightly rocked into his body. He played with the lace decor of her panties, rubbing over the growing wet patch. Her breathing became heavy, a surge of desire rushing through her bloodstream as his fingers ghosted over the aching areas.
"You can- you can touch me there, underneath them if you would like to." She murmured, eyes shut and focusing on the pleasurable feeling he was giving.
"Do you want me to?" He smiled at her through hooded eyes, her face contorting in turmoil.
"Yeah, please Sirius."
"How could I say no to such a pretty little thing."
Her cheeks tinted red from his comment as he hooked the sides of her panties with his fingers and slide them down her legs at a teasing speed. His thumb teased between the folds, finding her slightly engorged clit. Rubbing half-circles over it, he noticed her tense at the motions, legs trying to clamp shut. He dipped his thumb lower to reveal the seeping wetness and exposing it to his skin before dragging it back up to her clit. This time pressing harder as he circled it fully, watching the pleasure on her face the entire time.
Ears perking and cock twitching as the quiet, breathy moans of his name she let out. He switched hands, letting one continue to rub her aching clit as the other hand moved lower towards her entrance. Easily slipping a single finger in, catching her by surprise. He worked it in and out while simultaneously stroking her clit. Once her moans start to become more frequent, he added another finger into the mix.
"How's this? Feel good?" Sirius whispered into her ear, voice husky and full of lust.
"Mmhmm!" She mumbled out her answer quick, eyes shutting to focus on the pleasure and new sensation.
Her body continued to quiver against his, and judging by the way she was clenching around his fingers. He knew she was close. He applied more pressure with his thumb, her moans became more consistent with his strokes. Her moan cut off suddenly, her mouth forming an 'o' shape as her body shuttered against his.
Sirius could tell she was cumming before she even knew what was happening. "That's it, what a good girl." She clenched harder around him as her breath started to even out slightly.
He pulled his fingers out of her, maintaining eye contact as he sensually pushed his fingers past his own lips. Sucking softly on them as a groan lifted from his chest. Blood rushing more south by the taste of her. The tange catching his arousal off guard for a second. "Are you ready darling? We can take it slow, we don't have to tonight."
"I want to! I-I want you Sirius. I need you." She babbled as she watched his fingers fall slowly from his mouth.
The air became thick with need as Sirius moved away from her to undress himself fully. His breathing became heavy as he slowly pulled his boxers off, teasing himself from the rushed and frantic pleasure he normally endured during hook-ups from the past. She peered at him from between her legs. He was about to be her first everything, the first cock she would have ever seen. It looked perfect to her, even having never seen another before.
He was a medium sized girth. The length looked like a comfortable size, sure there would be a stretch with it being her first time. But he looked to be a comfortable fit, not looking too scary with a slight curve upward. Sirius crawled over her, his hands holding himself up with her head in between his hands. He looked intently down at her. Lust still prevalent but a look of longing and love also filled his senses. He leaned down and collected her lips into a deep kiss full of passion.
"Are you ready?" He kissed along her neck waiting for her to respond to him. She told him that she was ready, he reached between them and ran his cock between her, caressing her clit with the tip a few times.
He caught her entrance for a second and pushed forward slightly, engulfing most of the tip inside. She squealed quietly with the pressure sensation, pulling his shoulders down towards her. Sirius began pushing in further, taking his time and making sure she was relaxed as he pushed more in. About halfway down, she clamped up and began for hyperventilate. He looked up at her face, noticing her eyes screwed shut, he tried to pull out but she told him that she was okay and he could continue.
The pressure was not necessarily painful, the remanence of her first orgasm still fresh within her body helped her relax. He started stretching her more and more the further he pushed until he bottomed out completely inside of her. He kissed around her face as she squealed once more because of the full feeling that held within her blissed stomach. He rested against her body, chests pressed firmly against each other as he cradled her head in his hands. Her arms around his neck as the slight pain dissolved.
"Sirius?" She whispered in his ear.
"Yes love?"
"You can move now."
Sirius kissed her lips once more and trailed more down to her neck as he slowly pulled his hips back from her body. Tentatively, he rocked forward into her, moaning at the warm, suction she was giving him. He was not sure what it was, probably emotions, but sex for him had never felt this good. Each gentle stroke he made into her, sent shocks of pleasure to each finger tip of his. His face fell into her neck, muffling every little or loud noise he made against her. The vibrations of the noises sent a sense of pride through her body.
Still sensitive from the previous orgasm, she felt amazing and comfortable. The happy trail that lead to wide patch of trimmed black hair rubbed against her clit. A tingling sensation filling her chest each time he pushed forward. Her own hips starting to rock into his calm strokes.
"I-I've never - oh merlin-" the feeling of her clench around him as his thumb softly circled her clit once more cute his words off. "Never had sex... this slow.. I- never thought it to—be this...glorious. Baby you feel so good." He moaned loudly each time she clamped onto him.
"Feel so full Sirius. Feel so wonderful." Her hand pulled at the nape of his neck, catching his hair between her fingers. Legs locked around his hips as she felt herself nearing another end. The emotions running rampant through her body heightened every sense. The pleasure in her lower belly felt intense, causing tears to start to flow from her eyes. Another tight circle of his thumb had her coming undone around him. Moaning directly into his ear as she held him tighter to her body. Trying to seek every inch of him into her grasps.
The noises, the actions, everything about the whole interaction had Sirius convulsing. He was about to cum, almost embarrassing quick for himself. The feeling of her cumming worsened his control as he felt himself topple over the edge. Almost instantly spilling into her.
"I love you." Sirius held onto her tightly as she felt warmth fill up her womb. Her heart and body tightened as he listened to his words. Basking in the golden feeling she was currently experiencing. As Sirius weakly rocked through their orgasms she whispered back to him that she also loved him. Both of them feeling a copious amount of love and joyfulness.
The pair stayed like that for a little bit. Tears filled her eyes earlier were pooled down her cheeks but no more were spilling. Sirius was seated inside her still, not moving even and inch off of her. She noticed his shoulders start to shutter as well as the muffled sniffles against her shoulder.
"Sirius? Honey, what's wrong?" She stroked his head, running her fingers through his tangled, sweaty hair.
"It's nothing." He tried to mumble off but she persisted on coaxing out his misery. "I've never felt love like that. Never been slow and soft. Never felt so loved."
She continued to coo at him and give him reassuring compliments. But still he felt his own insecurities and doubts bubbling to the surface.
"I'm sorry. I don't normally blow my load that quick. I'll make it up to you I promise!"
"Sirius look at me." She grabbed his face with both hands and stared into his eyes, nothing but love and satisfaction on her face. "I couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment." Before pulling him into a comforting embrace.
When Sirius had finally pulled out of her, he quickly ran out of the room. She felt a bit confused but slightly hurt. He ran rather quick as if he was disgusted by the act the pair had just committed. Stress and worry started to fill her mind as she felt the tears pool into her eyes and spill over one tear at a time. She thought they had finally made a breakthrough, when she wiped her eyes she noticed the red stains from the tears. Perfect way to top it all off.
She hiccuped shocked when she watched Sirius waltz back into the room, fresh pair of boxers on his body. Hands full of clothes and a rag. He gently began to wipe down her shaky thighs and intimate parts.
"Why are you cry- are you bleeding? Oh Merlin! Did I hurt you?" Sirius spoke frantically, confused and hurt by the thoughts of hurting her.
"No, Sirius" she laughed slightly at him, "it's a condition I have."
He just nodded, unsure of what to say back to her. He decided to finish cleaning her up and dressed her in a pair of his boxers and a loose shirt. Topping it all off with a kiss to her lips. The pair cuddled up together under the covers. Her hand and head resting against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. His had his arm wrapped around her body, one hand resting of her stomach.
"Let's hope it took darling, though I would not mind trying again with you." Sirius giggled like a little teenage boy.
"Yes let's hope." She laughed along with him.
"I'm going to take you out tomorrow night. Just us. Some place nice. Some place you deserve." Sirius spoke with determination.
"I'd love that a lot Mr. Black." She peppered a few kisses against his chest before closing her eyes to drift off into sleep.
"I'd do anything for you, Mrs. Black."
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valentinetypewriter · 8 months
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Me and My Husband
This includes casting, chapter masterlist and summary
Sirius Black x Remus lupin x reader
My Main masterlist
this will also be posted on ao3 - a link to the fic
Chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6
Summary
Sirius Black III the usually flirtatious boy had become completely infatuated with someone he knew he could never have, but tied to someone he never thought he could love.
Remus john lupin the self hating Werewolf who doesn't believe he's worth loving, but his heart aches for two people who he thinks he doesn't deserve
Y/n l/n has hated love ever since she was young, a pure-blood family like hers doesn't get love, they only have to keep their blood pure. But maybe she could make something good out of this
Set during the marauders 7th year and onwards, canon divergent, just changing a few things up to make the fic work a bit better. This fic will be filled with unnecessary angst and drama because I'm a horrible person
Casting
Casting will include movies/shows for a more specific look for major character
Ben Barnes as Sirius Black (Dorian grey)
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Andrew Garfield as Remus lupin (Never let me go) and yes this is exactly how I imagine remus to act/talk - A link for a YouTube video since clips of his character are hard to find
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Aaron Taylor Johnson as James Potter (kick-ass / Nowhere boy)
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Dane dehaan as Peter pettigrew (Kill your darlings)
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Timothée Chalamet as Regulus Black
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David Tennant as Barty Crouch Jr
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Maxence Danet-Fauvel as Evan Rosier
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Supporting cast
Sophie skelton as Lily Evans
Alicia Vikander as Marlene McKinnon
Sofia Bryant as Mary McDonald
Louis Garrel as Severus Snape
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wzrd-wheezes · 4 months
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“I did regret it. I regretted it because you’re engaged to my best friend and I'm the bloody fool that decided to fall in love with you.” Sirius’s brows furrowed, “I just felt like I fucked up. God, you’re getting married.” 
moodboard inspired by my fic The Engagement Arrangement, which you can read here
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all a girl like me wants is a fic with tomarrymort as the main pair, and a side of starprince (snack/snirius) 😩😩😩
like is that too much to ask??! 😞😔
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myprongsfootera · 2 months
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Prongsfoot Bingo: Arranged Marriage
The Only Transfer Students to Ever Come to Hogwarts (9,500 words) written for the @prongsfootbingo challenge
I had so much fun with this one! I have actually previously written a prongsfoot arranged marriage story where they married each other to get Sirius out of it (A Real Marriage Under Wizarding Law) so when I saw this prompt on my bingo card I knew I needed to find a new direction.
So here you have a bit of a hijinx version of this prompt:
When the war starts, Walburga and Orion Black move their family back to Europe from where they've been living in France. Sirius is upset to learn that not only does he have to transfer to a new school, but his parents have set up an arranged marriage for him to align themselves with a powerful wizarding family. The boy he's supposed to marry? One James Potter. When he gets to the school, James is convinced that his parents would never have agreed to any such arrangement, but Sirius knows his parents don't make empty threats.
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(bet you can't guess which one's next lol)
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Harry Potter x Percy Jackson Pirate AU
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AN: Percy Jackson and the Olympians comes out today! I'm so excited! I created this ficlet because I wanted a pirate AU with Sirius Black. The warnings for this fic are period-typical attitudes, mentions of tears and arranged marriages.
“The King bids you to return to London, my Lady.”
“The Queen Mother was the one to send her on this voyage.  Why would the King recall her?”
“The Oldest, Noblest family of Black have submitted another request for her hand in marriage.”
“Another?”  You questioned.
“While the previous attempt was less than well executed, the King bears no ill will to the family of Black.  He understands that Regulus is not his brother.”
Comprehension dawned on you as you examined the man that you were referring to as Captain Sirius “You were my fiancé?”
Sirius looked at you horrified.
“He went before the King, my Lady, and demanded that the engagement be broken as he had no time for a ‘spoiled little princess who did not understand the demands of his work.’  I wonder, would your response have been different if you knew beforehand that your intended is the daughter of Poseidon?”
“Commodore Snape,” you cut in.  “You have been a good friend to me and my family.  You have gone above and beyond the call of duty.  I am offering you a chance to return to London unscathed by the wind and tide.  Should your vendetta against Captain Black influence your thinking further, this offer will not linger.”
“I understand.”
Once Commodore Snape’s ships had departed, you turned to the four captains of the Marauder, “Thank you gentlemen for ensuring my safety as I travelled with you.  I shall not trouble you any further.”
Captain Black reached towards you but you evaded his grasp.  Grateful that you were no longer wearing the clothes that you had begun the journey with, you dived into the ocean.  The ocean rejoiced as its princess returned and if one tear escaped your eye as you swam home, the ocean would whisk the tear away before anyone other than the two of you would know.
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Champagne Problems (ii)
summary: Y/N Y/L/N has everything: a wealthy family, a famous last name, and the most eligible bachelor in the wizarding community as her soon to be husband. What happens when she’s reunited with a forbidden friend from the past?
tw: angst if you squint??
word count: 5,015
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The next few weeks passed by dreadfully slowly, but eventually, September 1st rolled around and it was finally time for Y/N to go back to school. She was excited for the school year, but she had a lot on her mind. Once she boarded the train, Y/N passed compartment after compartment, waving hello to friends, but deciding to keep going until she found one that was empty. She shared a dorm with three other girls, this was going to be the last alone-time she got until Christmas. Her alone-time was short lived, however, when a knock came on the door to her cart and a familiar face showed itself through the window. Y/N smiled as Sirius opened the compartment door. “Need some company?” he he asked with a smirk. “I suppose I could handle that,” Y/N smiled and motioned for him to sit down.
“Don’t you have a group of friends to sit with?” Y/N asked as Sirius made himself comfortable. “Don’t you?” he quipped, raising and eyebrow. “I suppose. But I don’t always sit with the same group of people on every trip, either,” Y/N shrugged. “And here I thought you stopped paying attention to me in first year,” Sirius waggled his eyebrows playfully. “Trust me,” Y/N laughed, “I did. But your group has quite the reputation.” “Anyway, I dunno. I didn’t see any of them. Either I’m the first one on, or they’re farther down the line and if that’s the case, I’ll see them when we get to school,” Sirius shrugged. “How was the rest of your summer?” he asked. “Boring. Stressful. Otherwise, uneventful. How was yours?” she answered honestly. “It was pretty good, actually. I third-wheeled with Lily and James a lot, but we saw some really cool films, took a trip out to the beach, and then Mr. and Mrs. Potter went out of town so we had the whole house to ourselves, it was cool,” Sirius smiled fondly as he described the adventures he shared with his friends, and for a moment, Y/N wished she could have been there, too.
“Oi! There you are! We’ve been looking for you for-oh, hello,” James exclaimed as he and Lily barged into the compartment. “Um, hi,” Y/N smiled politely. “Y/N, right?” James asked. “Yeah. You’re James, and I’m guessing you’re Lily?” Y/N replied. “That’s us,” Lily smiled. “Pardon my boyfriend being rude, but do you mind if we sit with you?” Lily asked, nudging James who had already taken a seat. “Oh, shit, sorry,” James replied quickly. “Oh! Of course, please,” Y/N motioned to the seats and Sirius hopped up from his spot across from Y/N and moved over so he was sitting next to her. Lily took the window seat opposite Y/N and James sat next to her, slinging his arm around her shoulders. An awkward silence settled over the four teens for a few minutes. “So, Y/N, how do you know Sirius?” Lily spoke up. “Oh, we grew up together. Our parents are close,” Y/N answered. “Oh,” Lily tried to hide her confusion. “We sort of fell out during first year because of.. um... I don’t know, my parents stopped liking him,” Y/N explained. “Hey, don’t feel too bad,” Sirius nudged her, “My parents stopped liking me around first year, too,” he joked, easing the tension and getting everyone to laugh.
“Bloody hell, you guys! I’ve been looking for you all morning!” A short boy with poorly styled hair opened the door to the compartment. “Wormtail! Nice of you to join us, mate!” James exclaimed, patting the open seat next to him. “I’m sorry, did you just call him a worm?” Y/N asked incredulously. “It’s an inside joke. That’s Peter. Pete, this is Y/N,” Sirius introduced them, and Peter seemed to see Y/N for the first time. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “Hello!” “Nice to meet you,” Y/N smiled at him and then glanced out the window. Definitely no alone time on this train ride. But it could be fun. Sirius has just been telling her about all the good times he had with these people, maybe Y/N would have a good time with them as well. Just a few minutes later, the whistle blew and the train was on its way to Hogwarts.
The train rolled on, and the teens chatted amongst themselves, catching up on what they had done over the summer. Y/N remained quiet, unless to answer a question. She felt nervous, for some reason, to be around Sirius’s friends. They were nice, and even funny, but Y/N couldn’t help but feel out of place. After about an hour and a half, the compartment door opened. “These prefect meetings get more and more boring every-oh, hello, Y/N,” Remus said as he plopped down in the seat next to Sirius. “Hi, Remus,” Y/N smiles politely. “You two know each other?” Sirius asked incredulously. “Yeah, we’ve had classes together. Last year we were paired together in advanced potion making,” Remus shrugged. “Well I’ll be damned,” James laughed. “I do talk to other people outside of you lot, you know,” Remus taunted. “You’re kidding! Since when are we allowed to have other friends?” James asked dramatically, earning laughs from all of the teens. And so they joked, and laughed the whole way to the school; and while Y/N felt like she was intruding on their time together, the marauders had already begun accepting her as one of their own.
-
After the sorting ceremony, Y/N went straight to her dorm- the first feast of the year always left her exhausted, she suspected it was all the rich food in her belly. She planned to change into her most comfortable pajamas and curl up with Desdemona before drifting off into a much needed sleep. Y/N was almost able to go through with her plan, too, but what she hadn’t accounted for was that her roommates would also skip the festivities and come straight to the dorm as well, eager to hear all about Y/N’s engagement party. “Y/N, Y/N!” they exclaimed. “We looked for you at dinner but we couldn’t find you, you have to tell us all about the engagement party!” her roommate, Ellie, exclaimed. “Did Amelia Rosehart really design your dress?” Dawn asked. “Let us see the ring!” Cynthia squealed. “It was very nice,” Y/N started. “Amelia did design my dress, and styled my hair and makeup. I looked like a completely different person. We just answered a lot of questions about the wedding plans and had dinner, and then everyone left and Peter and I had a good talk,” she explained.
“I can’t believe you’re marrying Peter Williams, you’re living my dream,” Dawn declared as she plopped into her bed. “Isn’t he so wonderful? Is he funny? I always imagined him being funny,” she gushed. “He’s nice, yeah. And I dunno, I suppose he’s moderately funny. I’ve met funnier people,” Y/N shrugged, “But then again we didn’t talk that much.” “What about the ring? The ring!” Ellie reminded her. “Oh, right. Here you go,” Y/N held her left hand out for the girls to inspect, and Dawn nearly fell out of her bed trying to leap over to see the ring. It was massive, honestly. In the center, there was a large, oval shaped diamond. Around that, there was a small band of emeralds outlining the diamond, and then smaller circular diamonds around the gold band. Y/N felt ridiculous wearing it at school, but her parents insisted she wear it. They believed it would show everyone how well off the family was going to be.
“Was it his grandmothers?” Cynthia asked excitedly. “His great-grandmother’s, and then his grandmother’s, and then his mother’s,” Y/N told them. “Merlin’s beard, it must go back to the 1800s!” Dawn cried. “1897, yeah. His great-grandfather had it custom made for his great-grandmother, and then they passed it down the line of the oldest siblings in the family,” Y/N confirmed. “Godric, it’s nearly a hundred years old and it looks brand new!” Ellie’s exclaimed. “Every time it got passed down it was repaired, plus they expect me to have it cleaned every eight weeks,” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “And the party, was it extravagant?” Cynthia asked. “It was.. tasteful. The whole mansion was decorated, and we had a team of chefs come in from France, the food was magnificent, by the way, and yeah.. It was good,” Y/N nodded. “Godric, Y/N, you are so lucky!” Ellie yawned as she climbed into her bed. “I suppose I am,” Y/N agreed as she picked up Desdemona and snuggled up in her blankets. Desdemona’s purrs soon lulled Y/N into a much needed sleep.
The next day, Y/N woke up before her dorm mates to have a shower before the day officially started. She liked the girls, she really did, but she was in no mood to talk more about the Williamses or the party. She returned to her dorm and got ready as quietly as possible before slipping out at heading down to the great hall for breakfast. She passed Sirius and James as she walked in, and she and Sirius exchanged smiles and small waves before she found an empty table to sit at to have a quiet breakfast. Thoughts of her future tangled with thoughts of her upcoming classes, and as Y/N looked down at her empty bowl, she realized that she had forgotten to even taste her oatmeal. She supposed it didn’t matter, it was time to head to her first lesson anyway. She grabbed an apple to snack on later, and made her way to the Transfigurations classroom.
Y/N took a seat in the middle of the classroom and let her thoughts consume her while she had a little while before the lesson started. She was ripped away from her thoughts when the chair next to her scraped across the floor. “This seat taken?” Y/N was surprised to find Sirius holding onto the chair next to hers. “Uh, it is now. Please, sit,” Y/N answered with a smile. Y/N hadn’t had a class with Sirius in a few years, she suspected because he tended to slack off whereas she was one of the top students of their year. “Well imagine that, I put in a little extra effort last year and got moved up into the class with the smart people,” Sirius laughed as he set his belongings down. “Yeah, see what happens when you actually put that brain in there to use,” Y/N teased, lightly tapping on his forehead. At the table behind them, Lily raised an eyebrow and looked to James questioningly. James just shrugged in response.
-
Y/N’s next class was charms, where she took a seat next to Dawn, and was saved by professor Flitwick’s speech cutting off any questions Dawn could have asked. The class itself was pretty uneventful, as Flitwick somehow got distracted and ended up telling the class about his entire summer, instead of starting an actual lesson. When the class ended, Y/N elected to wander the halls for a little bit instead of going straight to her next lesson. She had learned last year that if she was the first to arrive to class, Professor Binns would trap her in a horrendously boring story that conveniently would not end until it was time for class to start. So, she took her time, strolling into the History of Magic classroom just before the door shut signaling for class to begin. Her eyes scanned the room for a place to sit, and she was pleasantly surprised to see Sirius seated in the back of the classroom with an open seat next to him.
“Mind if I sit here?” She whispered as she set her bag down. “Course not, take a seat, friend,” Sirius smiled. “We’re friends again?” Y/N asked him with a slight tilt of her head. “Well, we sit together in two classes and I enjoy the conversations we share, so yeah I suppose we are,” Sirius shrugged. “Is that okay?” he asked. Y/N grinned, “Yeah, that’s okay.” Sirius smiled in return before turning his attention to the front of the room where Binns had started his lesson. Professor Binns was extremely passionate about his job, and Y/N knew that. She tried to listen closely and give him her full attention, more so because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings than actually caring about what he had to say, but he had the most monotonous voice she had ever heard, and the lesson was just so bloody boring. It didn’t help either that James and Sirius were using a golden snitch to pass notes back and forth, either. Finally, Y/N caved in and turned to Sirius.
“Please tell me you’re exchanging cheesy jokes, I’m so bored I’m going to lose my mind,” she whispered. “Almost. James and I are trying to find an animal that best describes Binns. James thinks he’s most like a tortoise but I think that’s too obvious,” Sirius leaned in to tell her, sliding the wrinkled parchment to her. An idea popped into Y/N’s head and with a smirk, she lifted her quill. I think he’s most like a naked mole-rat. He’s wrinkly as hell and is so engrossed in his job that he kept doing it after he died, she wrote. Sirius leaned over her should to read what she was writing and laughed out loud, quickly covering it with an obnoxiously loud cough. He folded the parchment up and stuffed it inside the snitch before sending it back over to James. When James read the parchment, he let out one loud laugh but quickly composed himself before sliding it over to Remus who’s shoulders shook as he chuckled silently. James took the paper down and scribbled another note to pass back to Sirius. She’s in. See if she wants to come to Hogsmeade with us on Saturday.
-
The week sped by as Y/N nervously awaited the weekend. She really liked Sirius’s friends, but her family had a long history and a bad reputation, and they all had every right to despise her for that. Y/N held completely different beliefs than even her own parents, but the legacy her family name held still filled her with guilt. She almost felt like she was holding her breath, waiting for them to realize that they didn’t actually want her around. Y/N elected to wake up early and go to the great hall as soon as Saturday breakfast began. The hall was nearly empty, as most of the students preferred to sleep in on the weekends.
She sat alone and piled her plate with fruit, but instead of eating, she just sat there, trying to calm her nerves and prepare for the day. By the time the rest of the students began showing up for breakfast, Y/N realized that she wasn’t hungry, and she decided to take her uneaten food out to the forbidden forrest. She wasn’t expected to meet Sirius and his friends in Hogsmeade until 10:30, she had plenty of time. On her way out of the great hall, Y/N passed Sirius and Remus, giving them a quick smile before ducking her head and slightly speeding up her pace. Sirius and Remus looked at one another, and Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but Remus beat him to it. “Go on. We’ll see you in Hogsmeade,” he told Sirius. Sirius grinned before turning to follow after Y/N.
When he finally caught up with her, Y/N had just found a place that she decided was deep enough into the Forbidden Forest. “You know, I’m pretty sure Hagrid comes out here to feed the creatures every night,” Sirius spoke up, “You don’t have to sacrifice your breakfast to them.” “I already had it on my plate, and I decided I wasn’t hungry. Didn’t want it to go to waste,” Y/N shrugged. “Plus, I like the animals,” she said, as a little rabbit hopped up and ate one of the berries she had tossed on the ground. Sirius chuckled at the bunny as he stepped closer to Y/N to see the little animals scurrying around the fruit. “What are you doing out here?” Y/N smiled as she turned to him. Y/N was terrified that Sirius was going to snap out of it and realize that she came from everything he hated, but at the same time his presence always made her feel so comfortable. “Wanted to come check on you. You seemed a little off leaving the great hall,” He answered honestly.
“Oh, I’m okay. Just wanted to spend a little time outdoors,” Y/N flashed him a positive smile. Sirius didn’t respond for a minute. “Did you know that your voice changes when you’re trying to be pleasant?” He finally asked her. “What do you mean?” Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Your voice gets higher and you nearly over-annunciate your words so that you sound more confident than you’re necessarily feeling,” he shrugged. “I noticed it at the engagement party, and most of the time when you talk to James, and Lily, and Peter.” “Oh.. I, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Y/N started. “Y/N you’re not obligated to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, either. I just want you to know that you don’t have to put on a front for any of us. And I don’t want to you to feel like you have to, either,” he assured her. “You don’t have to be ‘The Daughter of the Y/L/N Family, you can just be Y/N with us.”
“Sirius, I’m so nervous around your friends. I’ve been playing the role of Y/N Y/L/N for so long that I don’t think I even know who ‘just Y/N’ is. And everyone else is fine with the front, but your friends are all so true to themselves, and what they believe in. I just feel like they’re bound to realize that I don’t deserve the kind of friendship they give. I don’t know how to be around people and be relaxed and just roll with the punches,” Y/N admitted. “Hey. We all know that you are nothing like your parents. And they already like you, I can guarantee they aren’t going to change their minds. Plus, I like to think that you’ve been pretty relaxed and honest with me these last few weeks,” Sirius offered.
“I’ve known you my whole life, of course I’m comfortable around you. I don’t think that counts,” Y/N counted. “Oh, it counts,” Sirius decided, earning a laugh from Y/N. “Really though, don’t get so into your head, you’re great, just being yourself,” he assured her. Y/N gnawed on the inside of a cheek for a moment before lurching to the side in order to squeeze Sirius in a quick hug. “Thanks,” she told him, avoiding his gaze. Sirius grinned and nudged her with his shoulder, “Any time.” “Oh, Merlin! We’ve got to be late going to Hogsmeade! I had only planned on being out here for a few minutes,” Y/N scrunched up her face. “That’s alright,” Sirius assured her, “I know a shortcut, come with me.”
Sirius led Y/N back to the castle, up to the third floor, to the statue of Gunhilda of Gorsemoor. “Dissendium,” he said softly, and the statue opened up to reveal a tunnel. “What in the-“ Y/N blurted, but Sirius gave her an exasperated look and she cut herself off. “What in Merlin’s beard is this?” she whispered aggressively. Sirius motioned for her to go down the stairs and she reluctantly began making her way down, Sirius following and immediately falling into step next to her. Once they were a few steps down, the statue closed back up, Y/N stopped to look back but Sirius kept walking and Y/N determined that it did what it was supposed to do and caught back up with him. “It’s a secret passageway,” Sirius told her. “There are loads of them around the castle. This one leads to Honeydukes’s cellar, where I figure everyone will be because Remus likes to stock up on chocolate on the first trip of the term,” He said. “How do you know where they are?” Y/N asked him in amazement. “We... do a lot of things that aren’t homework,” Sirius shrugged. “I’m gonna let it go for now, but I definitely want to see some of the other passageways,” Y/N told him. Sirius grinned and agreed before picking up his pace a little bit.
By the time Sirius and Y/N climbed up the stairs from the cellar into Honeydukes shop, the marauders were still browsing the selections of sweets. “Hello all, we made it!” Sirius announced as he approached James and slung his arm around him. “Wow, Sirius is late, who would have expected this to happen?” Remus commented in a monotonous tone, earning laughter from James, Lily, and Peter. “Would have been on time but I got distracted by Y/N out in the forbidden forest trying to sneak a bowtruckle into her pocket!” Sirius grinned. “You know, I’m not sure that’s exactly how it went,” Y/N quipped. “I think the most important question here is: do you actually have a bowtruckle in your pocket?” James asked her. “Unfortunately, I do not. I actually was wanting to get a few to live in my garden at home but my mother thinks they’re vermin and forbade it,” Y/N admitted.
“No problem, here’s the plan: We find a bowtruckle for you. We spend the entire year training it to play camouflage and be still when other humans come in the garden, and boom-your parents will never even notice it,” James proposed. Y/N was taken aback at his willingness to help her at the drop of a hat, but she tried not to show it. “Do you really think that will work?” she asked him. “Of course! Bowtruckles are very intelligent,” James shrugged. “Plus, your mother doesn’t pay much attention to things that she deems unnecessary,” Sirius added. “Sirius!” Lily scolded. “Oh, no, it’s okay! He’s totally right,” Y/N assured Lily with a laugh. “She’s been in my conservatory maybe three times, and all she ever does is glance around and say ‘it looks nice, dear,’” Y/N over-corrected her posture and did an exaggerated impression of her mother. “As long as it didn’t move around, she would probably just see green and think it belongs there,” Y/N added.
“Sounds doable,” Remus shrugged, “When do we want to start?” he asked. “Do you all really want to do this?” Y/N asked, looking to each of them. “It does sound fun,” Lily nodded. “Plus, I love any excuse to piss off parents,” Sirius smirked. “I think we’re all in,” Peter added. “Alright,” Y/N smiled. “Maybe we can skip lunch in the great hall tomorrow and bring our food out to the forbidden forest instead?” Y/N suggested. “It could be like a picnic and a mission all in one.” “Oh, I think lunch in the forest would be lovely!” Lily exclaimed. “Lunch tomorrow, then. Operation Bowtruckle is a-go!” James declared. Y/N grinned as the group split up to finish picking out their sweets.
“I can’t believe they just decided to up and help me like that,” Y/N told Sirius as she picked up a tin of lemon-sherbets. “I told you, they like you already. Plus, we all love a good mission,” Sirius smiled and nudged her shoulder with his. “I’m really excited, it sounds fun. Plus, I think it’ll be a nice way to stick it to my family once the school year ends,” Y/N admitted, “It’s not harmful in any way, but it’s slightly petty and I think it’ll make me feel a little better.” “I personally don’t think it’s enough to make up for them selling your freedom, but if it makes you feel better about it than it’s a start,” Sirius shrugged. Y/N froze at his words but quickly snapped herself out of it, hoping that Sirius wouldn’t notice, but he did.
“I... I didn’t mean it like that,” Sirius told her softly. “It’s okay, really-“ Y/N tried to stop him but he cut her off. “I just mean that they’re asking a lot of you, and sneaking in a two-inch leaf creature isn’t nearly on the same scale of sacrifice,” He told her. “No, you’re right. I just don’t really have any other way to rebel so I’m doing what I can,” Y/N shrugged and gave a light laugh, and Sirius could tell she didn’t want to pursue the topic any further. “Maybe we can train it to be very stealthy and sneak around your house making noises to mess with your mum?” Sirius joked, slinging an arm around Y/N’s shoulder. “What,” Y/N laughed, “You want to use a bowtruckle to gaslight my parents into thinking the manor is haunted?” Sirius joined in her laughter for a moment before shaking his head. “I was thinking more along the lines of rodents in the walls but I like where your mind is,” Sirius told her, and they both burst into laughter again. “You’re crazy, Sirius Black,” Y/N laughed as she shook her head.
The teenagers finished picking out their sweets and the group reconvened outside of Honeydukes. “Anyone fancy a trip to Zonko’s?” Remus offered. “I actually need to go to Scrivenshaft's for a new quill,” Lily replied. “Oh, I wanted to get some parchment and quills for journaling!” Y/N agreed. “The boys always lose their heads in Zonko’s anyway. Y/N, why don’t you and I go get our supplies and leave them to their toys,” Lily flashed Y/N a wink as all of the marauders began to protest. “They aren’t toys!” Peter cried. “We’re planning chaos!” Sirius protested. “Yes, I can see what you mean. They’re obviously very passionate about the pranks,” Y/N laughed, “I’d love to join you, Lily.” And with that, the group split into two.
“So you said that you and Sirius grew up together?” Lily asked as the girls made their way through Hogsmeade. “Yeah, our parents are good friends so we spent a lot of time together as children. Shortly after the start of first year my parents wrote me a letter saying that Sirius was becoming too much of a troublemaker and that I wasn’t to see him anymore,” Y/N admitted. “And that was just… it?” Lily asked. There was no judgment in her question, just complete surprise. “That was it. The society we grew up in, what Sirius did is almost unheard of. We’re trained from birth to listen to our parents and be upstanding members of the community. If our parents tell us that we aren’t to associate with someone, we never see them again. Image and status are everything to them,” Y/N told her.
“So what changed?” Lily asked, opening the door to Scrivenshaft's and holding it for Y/N to enter. “I don’t know, I ran into Sirius at my engagement party over the summer and I was a little bit miserable. Sirius was the only one who noticed, and we talked and, I don’t know, it was nice to have a genuine conversation with someone. It was like no time had passed and I realized that I missed him. That’s sort of crazy, isn’t it?” Y/N laughed nervously. “That’s not crazy at all, everyone needs friends that they can depend on, and Sirius is a good one,” Lily smiled. “But let’s back up just a tad… You’re engaged?” Lily asked incredulously. “Yes. Well, sort of. I mean… Yes. My parents promised me to the son of another family when we were children. Now we’re to be married when the school year ends,” Y/N explained. “Y/N that’s… heavy,” Lily stopped rummaging through shelves to look at Y/N. “Oh, it’s alright. Peter seems nice, and financially well off, and I’ve been prepared for this for years so it’s okay,” Y/N nodded and Lily didn’t want to press on.
“But you and Sirius seem to have reconnected without a hitch,” Lily offered. “Oh, yeah absolutely. It’s weird how we’ve only just picked up again and he already seems to know me better than my family and my other friends,” Y/N pondered. A knowing glimmer shone in Lily’s eyes and she just nodded as Y/N began looking for the parchment she needed. Lily stood pondering for a moment before catching up with Y/N. She decided it was best to not press on and changed the subject. “That’s the best parchment for personal writing, I think. Do you write?” Lily asked her. “I like to write out my feelings, mostly. Sometimes I write poetry, but that’s pretty much the same thing only in a stuck-up way,” Y/N laughed, “What about you?” “I don’t think poetry is stuck up at all, I think it’s beautiful! And I like to journal, write about my day, things to preserve memories, you know?” Lily replied. Y/N smiled, “I think that’s brilliant. I’ll have to try that-writing down my favorite memories from the day.”
“I’d love to read more poetry,” Lily pondered aloud. “Oh, I could recommend you some books! My parents had me reading poetry my whole life to improve my prose, that’s how I got into writing it,” Y/N offered. “I would love that! What else do you like to read?” Lily asked. “Old stuff, mostly,” Y/N admitted with a laugh, “Shakespeare, Dickens, Brontë, Wilde, stuff like that.” “All good, yes, but hear me out: modern sci-fi, or if that’s a little too much for you, some romance?” Lily suggested. “I’d be open to both, honestly,” Y/N nodded. “How about we do a book swap? Every Sunday we meet in the library and pick out a book for the other to read-You pick out a poetry book for me, I pick something modern and muggle for you, and then the following Saturday we can talk about the books!” Lily exclaimed. “Lily Evans, I think we’re going to be very good friends,” Y/N grinned as she tossed her arm around Lily’s shoulders and the girls made their way to the counter.
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padfootastic · 8 months
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Day 2 - Prongsfoot Week 2023
What’s your favorite type of Prongsfoot Story?  And if you’ve written it - link it?
oooof okay. very very repetitive, perhaps even boring, answer.
1. outsider pov.
i know, i know, everyone is fed up of me saying the exact same thing every time but i just!!! can’t get over it!!! these two are so ripe for random people being baffled/awed/horrified by their relationship 😭 i love an outside-in perspective on how they are bc for them, everything is routine, it’s just how things are. it’s only when u pan the camera out that u realise no, they’re the exception not the norm.
i’ve written one—from remus’ pov. this one from lily’s pov kinda also counts. id put both of them in the qpp side of things tho tbh.
2. omegaverse
spicing it up a lil this time ;) even tho i’ve not read many, i’m just. a sucker for this universe and omega sirius with alpha james will have my heart always <3
3. genderbent j/s
id blame dani and our arranged marriage fic for this but to be fair, i’ve always loved genderbending. keeping true to the characters while making such a broad change is just. delicious. and i love it when m/f friendships r transgressive n u just know prongsfoot will be exactly that. there’s a fic (two?) where jamie and sirius r bestfs and they still sneak into each others dorms/beds and act basically the same and it’s the best. i love it.
4. james coming back to life
i’m very sure that every single person who has this in their answers today is in this position bc of em and their wonderful fic and i’m not an exception but gosh, what a top tier trope. james coming back, being all protective and righteous and ready to fight for sirius in a way no one has done before. it’s just. exquisite. the perfect mix of angst and maybe age gap and love.
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startledstoat · 8 months
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Like every week I get a new hc that runs through my mind on loop for that week and this week it's Reg and Pandora being first introduced as partners for an arranged marriage and from there it goes one of two ways
Either it's when they're teens when they meet and like as soon as they first make eye contact they clock each other like "that is so not a heterosexual lmfao"
Or where they're like older and actually close to the wedding and one of them finally cracks under the stress and comes out to the other, like half afraid they'll react badly but then they get the opposite (example: pandora coming out as ace and saying that she knows their families expect them to have heirs but that she doesn't want to have sex with him, and Regulus' shoulders just sag with actual relief and he's like "oh thank fucking God cause dont get me wrong you're like great and all but I didn't know how to tell you that I'm gayer than the fruit section at the grocery store")
OR
Option three being them engaged since before they could walk and they grow up together and then like when they get to the age where they're parents are seriously talking about the marriage they make a pact that they'll go through with getting married and just continue on as platonic best friends that are ending their bloodlines.
No omg I don't even ship pandalily but imagine at a fancy dinner party or something Dora like scandalizes all the old posh people by being like "this is my husband, Regulus. Over there is my girlfriend, Lily, and next to her is her ex-husband, James. James and Regulus are boyfriends.
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starratzz · 1 year
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Walburga Black. 🖤
“Becky, Please. I’m begging.” Alfred, her older brother looked down at her, frowning at the top of the stairs shocked and uncomfortable. If another man told her to calm down, she might just explode. They are not being married of to her tart of a cousin, to keep the bloodline pure, (like it’s not the purest family in the Wizarding world.)
She’s shaking all over, feeling her chest rise up and down aggressively as tears streamed down her face. Does her brother know nothing? Nothing at all? She was always convinced he hated the family as much as her, but standing there, her family watching like shes holding someone at wand-point.
“You’re begging?” She smiles wildly, “YOU’RE BEGGING?” She watched as her younger brother flinched at her booming voice.
“Walburga. You do not raise your voice at your older brother, or anyone that matter. You must accept this, you were born for it,” Irma, her mother spoke up with disgust. “I don’t want to marry him!! He’s horrible, mother, HORRIBLE.” She cried, stepping back as she clawed slightly at her aching throat from all the yelling. She felt faint. A headache as horrible as Orion was pounding in her head.
“You have no other option. It’s this or your nothing. Nothing to us or to anything. You are going to have an engagement party, your going to look pretty, your going to smile, and you BETTER not whine because if you say anything sarcastic, passive aggressive, or disrespectful I will pelt you across this house. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? DO YOU?! ANSWER ME, WALBURGA.”
“Are you kidding me?! Where do you think I learnt all this shit from!!” She cried, “Yes!! I understand, I UNDERSTAND.” She screamed, holding the sides of her head aggressively, sobbing more as she slid down the wall behind her. Married to a rich pure-blood man was always going to be her fate. Foolishly, she never thought that the rich man would be her troll of a cousin, Orion Black. She hated him to bits, getting a bone chilling shiver every time she was near him. She wanted to cry, and never stop, but her parents were right, she had to accept it, or she was nothing.
Walburga knew this was her mother once, and her grandmothers. She feared the day that the cycle would repeat the most. Happily leaving her wedding day at second place.
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inferi-ous · 3 months
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How it started:
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How it’s going:
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valentinetypewriter · 8 months
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Me and My Husband-Chapter 1
Summary + series masterlist
Main masterlist
Chapter 2 / chapter 3
This is a slow burn wolfstar x reader/arranged marriage au
Word count : 2,724
The Marauders had all piled up into a carriage of the Hogwarts Express, sweets and lollies littering the seats and floor as they talked all about their break from school. Sirius had of course spent most of his break with the Potters once again before having to go back home before the start of their new school year. "We went to this muggle movie theatre and it was amazing, I've never been to one before" Sirius was currently spouting out about all the things he had done with James, not having a chance to do those kinds of things in his own home. "It was quite fun until we almost got kicked out because Padfoot here wouldn't shut up!" James spoke up with a humorous tone. "Well enough about that, how did your guys break go?" Sirius asked the other two boys after giving James a slight shove. Remus spoke up first "I went to visit my grandparents, they live out in the countryside, so it was nice to have some peace and quiet finally" Peter timidly spoke, a hint of concern in his voice. "Did you handle the full moons alright?" Remus gave a slight nod "it's a pretty secluded area, plus lots of room to run around" He gave Peter a smile to ease up any concern he had for the young Werewolf.
The rest of the trip was filled with mindless talk about more stuff that happened during their break, what kind of pranks they were planning this year and of course relationships. Sirius seemed to stiffen as soon as the topic had been brought up. Peter droned on about his new hufflepuff girlfriend he had gotten at the end of last year before asking the others if they had any crushes or anything. "Well I can't say I have one yet, but who knows this year I might get lucky" James said with a huge dorky grin on his face. After being rejected by Lily Evans far too many times the boy had decided it was best to move on, and now without the constant attempts to gain her affection they had become close friends. Sirius hadn't contributed much to the conversation though, in fact he hadn't spoken a word since Peter had brought the topic up. Although James and Peter didn't notice, the two boys continued with meaningless conversation. Remus on the other hand had noticed how Sirius was unusually quiet, his stormy eyes didn't look away from the window he was leaning against until the scarred hand of the tall boy touched his knee gently "you alright padfoot?" Remus's soft voice had always been pleasant to his ears. Sirius gave a small nod and faked a smile, though Remus could always tell when someone was faking a smile he just always knew, tilting his head as his eyebrows furrowed, clearly not believing what he had said. It scared Sirius just how much of an open book he seemed to Remus, though he guessed everyone felt that way about the tall boy. He knew Remus knew he was lying, he leant down towards him "I'm here if you need anything Sirius" giving him a soft smile, everything about Remus Lupin was soft, his hair, his voice, his warm skin and even the sweaters he always wore. Thankfully though he didn't press on, just leaving his large warm hand on Sirius's knee.
The train ride had come to an end soon after that, the four rowdy boys rushing off the train. All laughing like madmen at some stupid joke James had said. "Let's get to hogwarts quickly I'm starved" Sirius said with an over dramatic and drawn out sigh, James slung his arm around him as a laugh was drawn out from him "yeah because you totally didn't have enough from the trolley" Sirius elbowed him in the side, although that did nothing to discourage James. "Yeah padfoot you would've brought her whole stock if Moony hadn't stopped you" Peters jab had James cracking up all over again. Even Remus let out a small laugh, though Sirius just huffed "you're all the worst" shaking his head at his three friends. "Yeah but you'd be lost without us" James stated, ruffling up the hair of his best friend. As they continued walking Sirius caught sight of the one person he dreaded seeing around the school other than his younger brother, Y/n l/n, or as he referred to her since their last meeting during their break, the absolute bane of his existence. The sight of the expensive jewellery she wore on her hand made his thoughts bubble with anger, she was just as pompous and up herself as ever. He quickly dismissed the thoughts of her, not wanting to think more of it.
The four friends eventually found their way to the great hall, watching on as new 1st years were getting sorted. The boys were certainly the loudest when new students were sorted into Gryffindor. After the sorting and the same speech Dumbledore gave every year the feast had begun, everyone digging in and talking loudly with the people around them. Once the boys had finished eating they rushed to their dorm room, already excited to start planning out pranks for their last year. They all fell asleep quicker then they had initially planned on, the adrenalin wearing off as they started to crash out, barely out of their clothes or under their covers. Remus fell asleep sitting at his desk, his head leaning against his sweater he was using as a makeshift pillow. James was sitting upright, leant against the headboard of his bed, Sirius had crashed out at the end of James bed, his legs dangling off the edge of the bed. And Peter had fallen asleep on his own bed, though lying on top of the covers in nothing but sweat pants he had changed into.
They woke up later than usual, all stiff and sore from the uncomfortable positions they slept in, except for Peter, he was just cold. They all got dressed and decided to go down to the courtyard, they had the entire weekend to settle back in before 7th year classes started. Which they were all eternally grateful for. The Marauders made their way outside, laughing and joking around as usual. Finding somewhere nice to sit they picked back up their conversation from last night. "So this year everything needs to be bigger and better boys" James announced, clapping his hands together "I was thinking that prank we did last year on Snivellus, when we turned his uniform bright pink for the whole day, was pretty good but we could definitely top that". As soon as he finished the four boys all had that same classic Marauders look on their faces that screamed they were up to no good and to steer clear. Sirius shot up "how about we make it rainbow and glitter" Peter laughed and added on "yeah we could even add frills this time" that sent the boys into a crazed fit of laughter all except Remus. It wasn't that he was against the idea, it was more that he had something else in mind "or we could turn his uniform into the girl's one" despite his voice not being as loud as the others, their laughter had completely stopped. Wide devious smiles quickly covered the shocked looks they gave him "Merlin Remus you're a bloody genius!" James shouted, as he ruffled his hair up in approval.
They continued talking about how they'd pull it off when James noticed none other than Lily Evans walking through the courtyard "hey Lily!" James shouted out without a second thought. Lily's head shot up and she smiled at the boys walking over with one of her friends she had been talking to. "Hello boys, I hope the break treated you all well" the boys responded with simple answers of head nods and even a thumbs up from Remus. Sirius had finally noticed who Lily just so happened to drag along with her, of course it just had to be her, Y/n. "Mind if we sit with you guys?" Lily asked, her tone as sweet as always. Sirius would have denied her, almost saying how they were planning some 'Marauders' stuff. But of course James beat him to it "of course not, go for it ladies" he smiled at the two girls as they sat down. Sirius was angry at this, not at James for letting her sit with them, but at Y/n for thinking she could just sit near him so casually.
Sirius couldn't help the hateful glare as he watched the girl in front of him, seemingly avoiding conversation with the rest of the Marauders. All he could focus on was the girl he deemed to be the bane of his existence talking away with Lily, the two only met because of Lily's best friend Severus due to the two being in Slytherin. His stormy eyes held a gaze with the glittering gem on her left ring finger, acting as a constant and cruel reminder of his unwanted fate. Remus of course had noticed, he always did when Sirius's mood suddenly changed. The Werewolf leant down to whisper into said boys ear "You know if you keep brooding at her you're going to burn holes into the back of her head" he let out a soft huff of amusement as the boy looked back over at him, an incredulous look on his face "I'm not brooding, I just don't like her" Remus had that look on his face, the kind of look that said yeah that's totally it. The boy shook his head leaving the over dramatic boy to continue his not brooding session.
Y/n knew Sirius was glaring, she could feel his eyes on her as soon as she sat down with Lily. She tried to ignore it, instead choosing to focus on her conversation with said girl about their breaks, the muggle born witch always asked about the balls and events Y/n went to. Neither minded talking about it, Lily got an inside view of what rich and exclusive Pure Blood gatherings were like and Y/n was able to boast about the overly expensive dresses and jewellery she wore to each event and how pretty she felt in them. She was able to ignore the glaring eyes that seemed almost harsh enough to feel in her skull, until Lily had pointed it out "you know Sirius has been staring at you this entire time" the Slytherin didn't spare a glance at the mentioned boy "I'm well aware, he's been doing that a lot lately, I have no idea why" she let out a scoff at the end of her sentence. As much as she liked to talk about every little detail that happened during her break to Lily. The one thing she just so happened to leave out was the meeting between both her family and the Blacks. When Y/n's left hand combed through her hair brushing it back giving Sirius a perfect view of the beautiful ring he had come to hate, and of course he had taken it as a personal insult, as if she was flaunting the expensive jewel on her finger to dig the knife deeper into him. And that kind of insult wasn't something he had taken very lightly as something seemed to snap inside him, the black haired boy stood up abruptly walking over to the two girls "may I have a word with you l/n" his stormy grey eyes filled with hatred and disgust met the dull and harsh eyes of the girl he stared down, awaiting an answer from her. "With all due respect Black I'm currently busy" despite the two seeming to hate each other's guts, they always still acted formal with each other, years of being raised by pure blood families leaving its mark on the two teens."Yes well it's a very urgent matter Y/n" at the use of her first name she sighed and stood from her seat next to Lily, Sirius had only ever seemed to use her first name when he was beyond angry at her "i'll be back soon Lily" the girl just smiled and nodded joining the conversation with the rest of the marauders as Sirius dragged her away. Remus noticed the tight grip his friend had on the girl's wrist, he felt a tinge of worry creeping up on him, though he seemed to be the only one who noticed, not even Lily had noticed how Sirius pulled away the girl she was just talking to a second ago. Remus knew he was overly perceptive sometimes to his own detriment, so he softly interrupted the group's chatter with the excuse of going to the bathroom. Only to follow the two teens who had just left, stopping just before turning the corner peeking over slightly to see the people he was looking for.
Sirius had cornered Y/n against the wall, not wanting to let her leave until he spoke to her "do you seriously have to wear that stupid ring everywhere" he scoffed down at her, disgust clear in his voice. The Slytherin rolled her eyes at the boy "my parents wanted me to, it's not like I could say no to them, you know what will happen if Regulus finds out you're not wearing yours, do you really want your parents to find out" it was now Sirius's turn to roll his eyes "that doesn't mean you have to flaunt it around and keep reminding me of it" the girls face morphed from slightly irritated to furious "Excuse me! You think I'm flaunting it, as if I ever wanted this, as if I like this any more than you do!" Her voice kept rising in octaves as she yelled at the boy in front of her. "All I'm saying is you seem far too comfortable wearing that to be too upset about it" he leaned down into her face, it was clear to Y/n he was trying to intimidate her, there was a pause of silence before a loud slap rang out in the empty corridor they had found themselves in. Sirius's hand shooting up to hold his now reddening and sore face "you prick! Stop speaking to me like that, as if you know anything about me, it's like you think it's my life's dream to be betrothed and bear children to some moronic teenage boy I hate, simply to uphold our stupid pure-blood lineage!" Sirius was too stunned to speak, he didn't know if it was because of the slap, the angry words the usually quiet girl had yelled at him, or the tears that were now violently streaming down her face. Y/n turned away from him, face red and hot from her anger and tears, in doing so she had locked eyes with none other than Remus Lupin who was standing at the end of the corridor in shock only slightly out of view, both their eyes widening as their eyes locked. Y/n letting out a shocked gasp had alerted Sirius, whose head shot over to look at Remus, the tall Werewolf looking between the two, a slight bit of fear etched on his face at being caught. He looked down "sorry, I didn't mean to overhear anything, I was just worried about you" he didn't say who exactly he was talking about, eyes locking onto the floor. Though Remus himself didn't know who he was talking about either, only looking up when he heard the sudden movement of feet, watching as Y/n shoved Sirius away from her. Finally being freed from against the wall, she took off in the other direction, unable to contain her violent sobbing. Remus looked awkwardly at Sirius as he slowly made his way over, the taller boy staying still in his spot "you can't tell the others about this, can you promise me that Moony?" Remus seemed shocked, while he looked at Sirius. He seemed so vulnerable and scared, almost weak even as a few tears leaked down his face "I- I promise… I won't tell anyone anything" he gently put his hand on Sirius's shoulder. Said boy leaned into the touch of his friend, he sniffled slight before speaking "thank you Remus"
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maeglinyedi · 2 years
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Part 7 of my Subverting Tropes series.
Umbridge finds a new way to control Harry through a few obscure magical laws.
Now Harry has to decide what is more important to him. His magic or his freedom.
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sunnami · 3 months
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❝time will tell.❞
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[credits to the original artist of the photo!! can't seem to find their @ anywhere. title is taken from jane austen's persuasion, as was the first part.]
summary. ❝you are loved. and harry thinks there is no better description that that.❞
pairing/s. poly!mauraders x reader. (james potter x reader, sirius black x reader, lily evans x reader, and remus lupin x reader.)
word count. 9.5k.
tags. reader is referred to mum, with she/her pronouns[!], canon-typical violence [!], canon-typical deaths mentioned[!], very brief marauders as soldiers of the order[!], creepy old men being creepy[!], child abuse[!], pureblood arranged marriages, a minor character expresses wanting to die[!], Depressed and Traumatized Slytherins, the capital is important[!], themes of misogyny [!], teen boys fuck around and find out there are consequences to their actions, THERE IS ACTUALLY A LOT OF FLUFF, I PROMISE YOU, angst, children lose their baby teeth up until the age of twelve!! google said so!! not proofread we die like dobby the free elf
note. damn, i cried, you cried, we all crode. tbh, the first part was only intended as a oneshot, sdfkhdf, but when i re-read it, i thought that i could have expanded on more details,, so now here we are!! i love it more than the first part ueueue. thank you all so so so much for the kind comments :((( please please enjoy the second part to this installment!! part one
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HARRY JAMES POTTER was only a few months old when you died at the hands of Voldemort — or as strangers have told him every time they ravaged his personal space and ogled at his scar. They said it was a quick death, better than what had happened to Alice and Frank Longbottom. But that was all they’ve ever said about your death. Unfortunate; caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, entirely different from the pedestal James and Lily have been put on by the wizarding society. 
At first, Harry had wondered if it was due to your blood relations, being the daughter of a renowned Death-Eater, heiress to the fortune of a pureblood House. Harry can’t even count the amount of conspiracy theories he’s read or heard to his face that it must have been you who betrayed James and Lily, and not Sirius Black. 
Even Hermione’s shared to him a theory that your death was faked to surrender your loyalty completely to Voldemort — of course, Hermione was eleven at the time, head full of books and her favorite theories, and Harry’s already forgiven her. But there’s a part of him that despises the way he’s never known the full truth about his parents, just bits of information dangled in front of him like bait for people [read: the Dursleys] to get him to do what they want, to act like the way they want. Until Remus and Sirius, you were a stranger to him, really.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1976; CURRENTLY, IN THE PAST.)
IT IS RATHER UNFORTUNATE that Madam Pince has already taken her position as the unbearable librarian at this point in time. The woman gives Harry and you a pointed look as you slam the large book onto one of the tables — to Harry’s surprise, you glare right back at her. You’re awfully flushed, however, blushing cheeks betraying the fire in your eyes; it must have been from when Remus escorted the two of you to the library; he had tried to brush your hand with his pinky, to which you had responded with a startled hiss — Remus only smiled and chuckled at you, and Harry swears he’d like to forget that entire interaction because he saw literal stars in Remus’s eyes.
Jumping back in time and potentially causing chaos? Fun. 
Meeting your parents? Definitely fun, in the strangest of ways. 
But watching them pine and fall for each other? Not so fun. 
Nonetheless, he hesitantly takes the seat across yours and watches you flip through the pages until you land on a chapter with the large, bold letters: THE CURIOUS CASE OF ELOISE MINTUMBLE — Time-Travel and Its Many Dangers. He meets your gaze with a sheepish grin, mustering a look of innocence; except the puppy dog eyes only worked when he was nine — you are not amused. 
You slide the book towards him, scarily resembling Molly Weasley when she’s miffed with the twins. “You are aware, right, that just by existing here you’ve changed the future? Your future? And, that’s not even the worst thing that could happen.” 
Harry sulks. “Yes, mum.” He prefers not to think about it, actually, it makes his head hurt. 
“Don’t call me that in public!” You whisper heatedly, looking over your shoulder to check if anyone had heard him — to your luck, the library was empty, save for a Hufflepuff that was passed out on top of his books. “The less people that know about this, the better. It’s bad enough we told Potter about you. Do you even know what you’re going to do?” 
“Considering I was thrown here against my will, no.” Harry shrugs. “And to be honest, I was just going to obliviate the people who asked too many questions.”
You reach over to smack his head, scowling.
“Ow! That hurt!” Harry rubs the sore spot as he grumbles petulantly. “This is technically child abuse, did you know that?” 
You roll your eyes. “Do you at least have a plan to get home?” 
“Of course I do,” Harry retorts with a scoff, “Her name is Hermione Granger.” 
“Hopeless.” You groan exasperatedly. “Absolutely hopeless.” 
Harry only grins in response. For a brief moment, he forgets about the present — his reality where the skies are bleak and home is where he knows the feeling of loss more than the warmth of his own parents’ embrace. He lets himself forget, and pretends he isn’t the Boy Who Lived. Just some random boy who’s pestering his mother — even if she likes to deny the inevitability of being romanced by the Marauders, (except for Wormtail because Harry would eat troll slime before he ever lets that happen.)
“Right then,” You say after your tangent — which Harry tuned out when he hears the words, be responsible. “If I’m going to help you get back home—” 
Harry’s heart drops to his stomach; as selfishly as it sounds, he didn’t want to go home just yet — not to where people just took and took from him. He’s exhausted. Still, he puts up a front of being excited to be returned to his timeline. It’s for the greater good, of course, because his existence — present or past — is always somehow a threat to the wizarding society. 
“—you need to answer this one question for me.” Your voice drops lower as you stare at him intently, lips pressed firmly. 
Harry nods slowly. “As long as it’s within reason, yeah.” 
You inhale sharply. “Do I outlive Dolores Umbridge?” 
The wince escapes Harry before he can even stop it. 
That’s all the answer you need, apparently. Your mouth hangs open in disbelief, eyes nearly bulging out of your head as you slam your hands down onto the table surface, shrieking.
“That slimy bitch!” 
Needless to say, the two of you are kicked out of the library.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1970; ORIGINAL TIMELINE.)
YOU ARE ELEVEN when your father introduces you to Ferguson, commonly known as Fergus, Bulstrode. He smiles at you with a leer, eyes hungrily dipping to the neckline of your dress. You grit your teeth as you hold out your hand for him to take — you almost shudder at the feel of his lips on your cheek. You eagerly take a step back away from him, hoping your father won’t notice the way you shy from Ferguson’s touch. You’re not dull, you fully understand the implications of this introduction and the way Ferguson is complaining to you about his third wife’s passing — as if you were the solution to his loneliness. Bile rises to your throat, and you shove it down with a forced laugh at your father’s jokes about Mudbloods. From across the room, Allegra Greengrass stares at you in sympathy, and you send her a glare — you do not need anyone’s pity. 
The corset your mother laced on too tight is suffocating you; this whole Yule extravaganza made for elitist purebloods is suffocating you; and yet, you smile and greet every red-lipped witch your mother introduces you to. For hours, you pretend, and you pretend. By the time the guests have left, you wonder if you have any more of yourself to give. 
You manage to convince your mother to let you slip away for the night. Without missing a beat, you rush outside and into the garden labyrinth, lest old Ferguson snatches you up for a dance and let his gaze wander elsewhere. For the first time since the sun had set, your aching feet finally find some relief. You drop onto the edge of the stone fountain as you toss your heels to the side. You begin working your fingers through your hair, ripping the glittery ribbons from your head. It’s not until you’re unclasping your necklace that you realize you are crying. Tears fall from your eyes, and they sink deep into the fabric of your dress. 
You barely hold back your sobs. Your chest heaves as you hiccup; your vision goes blurry as your fingers grow numb. There’s nothing you can do but cry. 
You’ve used up all your smiles for tonight. 
But then, the sadness turns into resentment and then turns into indignation. Harshly, you wipe the tears from your eyes as you rip a violent scream from your throat. 
You sink to the ground, perfectly polished nails digging into the soil as you gather patches of grass and tear them from the roots. You throw a handful of mud at the marble statues. You grab another fistful of mud, scream, then bash your head against the garden floor. You let out another cry, whimpering as you curl into yourself; shivering as a gust of wind brushes against your skin. Surprisingly enough, this is the most human you’ve ever felt. This is the most you have ever felt — period. 
When hiccups regress into soft sniffles, you lay on your back, watching the stars float above. As the last of your tears slide down your cheek, you lift a shaky hand to trace the constellation in the sky. It’s not a familiar one to you, but then— 
“That’s Sirius.” 
You sit upright in a snap, wiping away the wetness from your eyes as you muster a mean glare at the newcomer.
Sirius Black.
“Oh, none of that,” He tells you when you move to stand. There’s barely any emotion on his face and it irks you that you can’t figure out what he’s planning. What you don’t expect is for him to sit beside you, thereby ruining his expensively tailored suit. 
“You’ll get creases,” You scold him instinctively, nose scrunched — but your voice is hoarse; too tired to put up any pretences. “Your mother will be cross with you.” 
Sirius scoffs, laying his head on the dirt, making sure to smear his sleeves with grass stains. “Walburga can go fall in a ditch and die for all I care.”
You gasp. “That’s horrible!” 
Sirius gives you a look. “You don’t believe that.” 
You really don’t, but you don’t have the courage to admit it either. 
After a few moments of silence, Sirius asks, raising a brow, “So who was that?”
“Who was who?” You stare at him with knitted brows, toying with your fingers. You still can’t wrap your head around how weird this is — sitting with Sirius Black in the middle of your mother’s hedge maze, your once bright blue dress now sullied at the ruffles, eyes bloodshot and your hair a frizzy mess. (Sirius thinks you look cute, though; especially with your missing front tooth that peeks out every time you talk to him.) 
“Bald guy, older than Merlin himself.” Sirius makes a face. “Looks like a troll. Smells like one, too.”
A giggle flutters past your lips, and your hands fly to your mouth. You really shouldn’t be bad-mouthing your guests, but Sirius was right — Ferguson really did act like an ugly troll. You sigh, letting your arms fall to your side. “My betrothed.” 
Sirius nods in understanding. “My mother tried to set me up with my own cousin once.” 
You grimace. “Which cousin?” 
He sits on his knees to face you, and with a very solemn face, he says, “Bellatrix.”
This time, you laugh freely, throwing your head back as Sirius pouts at your amusement. “O-Oh, that’s golden.” 
“No, it’s not,” says Sirius, lips twitching as he watches you snort like a pig through your giggles. “It’s horrible. A literal nightmare. You should feel awful for me.” He pokes your stomach, and it just makes you laugh harder, eyes disappearing into your smile. “Oi. I said feel awful, not take the piss out of me.” 
“S-Sorry.” You wheeze, batting away his hand pulling at your cheek. “I just can’t imagine Bellatrix in a white wedding dress and saying her vows to you.”
“That’s disgusting.” Sirius gags. “You’re horrible, I hope you know that.” 
When you finally calm down and Sirius tickles your bare feet until you cry in surrender, the two of you lay on the grass as he points out each constellation to you. Later, he fishes a small box of sugar mice from his pocket and offers it to you, opening one for himself. “Here’s to shitty parents and the one day we get to decide our own future.” 
You bump your squeaky candy mice against his. “Cheers, Black.” 
“Will you go to Hogwarts next year?” He asks you once he’s bitten off the tail of his mice. 
You nod. 
Sirius shifts on his side, holding his pinky out to you. “We’ll be friends when school starts?”
Again, you nod, wrapping your pinky around his. “Friends.” 
The next September comes, Sirius finds a compartment and one James Potter in it. You sit with Allegra Greengrass and Endora Lestrange on the way to Hogwarts. You are sorted into Slytherin, and Sirius finds freedom and a home in Gryffindor. You play the role created just for you; you lift your nose at those beneath you, adorn yourself in custom-made silk clothing, and carry yourself with the etiquette of a pure-blooded lady. Perfect grades, perfect hair, perfect clothes, always picture perfect.
You pretend that Allegra doesn’t throw up in the evenings from the fear of getting married to a man twice her age. You pretend that you don’t notice Endora sleep-walking and begging for her mother to save her from her father. You pretend that under your blankets, in the Slytherin dungeon, you are safe. 
You pretend that it doesn’t hurt when Sirius looks at you in disappointment when you shove a Hufflepuff student to the ground for getting a higher score than you in Charms.
They call you an ice-princess behind your back, and you overhear some of the fifth-years calling you foul words as well, and no one steps in to stop them; there’s no defending a Slytherin, after all. But you are keeping your head above treacherous waters, and you suppose that is all that matters.) 
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1976; CURRENTLY, IN THE PAST.)
“SO ACCORDING TO THIS, Eloise was stuck in 1402 for five days until she was retrieved to the present, which means we only have four days left to figure out a way for you to get back home.” 
Harry sinks into his chair, arms crossed over his chest. The two of you had found an empty classroom to discuss your plans away from inquisitive ears. “What’s the rush?” It’s unfair, he’d only just met you, and now he’s losing time with you. 
You sigh. “Harry, Eloise Mintumble spent five days in the past and when she came back, her body aged five centuries, and she died in St. Mungos. It’s not just about altering the whole timeline, you could actually die.” 
When you are met only with silence, you close the book, frowning. “Harry? What’s wrong?” 
Harry swallows the lump in his throat, looking out the window to avoid your gaze. “What do you know about the Mirror of Erised?” 
Your head tilts in confusion. “That it shows our heart’s deepest desire.” 
“Yeah,” says Harry, nodding. “I was eleven when I found it.” 
“Oh, Harry. . .” 
It’s almost pathetic how quickly his eyes water. “Did you know, before today, I hadn’t known at all what your voice sounded like?” 
You stay quiet, and Harry sucks in a shaky breath. 
“When I looked into the mirror, I saw my parents—all of you. There I was, in the middle. You were behind me—happy.” Harry swipes a tear from his eye. “I wanted to stay in that room, stare at that mirror forever.”
“It’s—”
“Dangerous, I know.” He laughs bitterly. “Just like finally being able to meet you all here.”
“Harry, you aren’t supposed to be here in the first place,” You say quietly, eyes drooping sadly. 
“I know that!” He exclaims desperately. “But is it so selfish to just want some time? I don’t want an illusion, I want the real thing. A real family. Why can’t I have that? Bloody Malfoy gets everything he wants, and what do I have?” 
“Your friends,” You tell him firmly. “Your friends who must be worried sick that you’re gone and must be going great lengths to bring you back.” 
“I know.” Harry wilts. He’s got Remus at home, too, who probably needs him more than ever after Sirius’s death. “I know. But can’t I just have this one thing?” 
You purse your lips for a moment, brows furrowed in thought. Then, you break the silence with: “Do you want to hear a story?”
“What?” Harry croaks, peering at you through wet lashes. 
Shrugging, you say, “Stories to remember us by. I’ve got six years worth of stories and then some. I know it’s not much, and you’ve probably heard some of these already from the others in the future, but it’s better than nothing, right?” You lean against the back of your chair, glancing at the wall clock before grinning at Harry. “We’ve got time to spare, anyway.” 
Harry manages a smile, setting down his glasses before rubbing his stinging eyes with the handkerchief you offer him. He figures this is what Remus means when you’re the gentlest creature he’s ever known — just not gentle in what the world expects you to be. 
“What do you say, Harry? I give you tidbits of the past, and you tell me if you know anything about the next Triwizard champion, so I can place my bets in advance.”  
Harry snickers. “Not a chance, mum.” 
“Worth a try.” And the smile you give him is nearly blinding. 
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1977; ORIGINAL TIMELINE.)
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND what it is about Gryffindors and their hobby of invading others’ personal space. 
A year into dating and James likes to shove his head under your shirt, claiming he loves the sound of your heartbeat — but you know really what he wants to nestle his head in between. The amount of cashmere blouses he’s ruined is absurd! Sirius has a hobby of tracing runes on the plane of your stomach. Lily prefers it when you sit in front of her, just within reach where she can wrap her arms around you and rest her head on your shoulder. Remus tends to lag behind the group when he notices you walking slower due to your leg flaring up. He kisses the side of your head and promises to chase the pain away — sappy poetic that he is. And in the moments where all five of you are together, tucked under a wide alcove, you can best believe there is no escaping what they like to call, a cuddle pile. Limbs are tangled, kisses are shared, and confessions of love are whispered. 
Before them, you hadn’t really known the different ways to love and be loved. 
Onto the pressing matters at hand, you discover that the brazen show of affection extends to their parents as well. Particularly, the Potters. After a year, you finally caved into James’s requests for you to spend the holidays at their manor, since the others have already made a space for themselves there, and James had said it would be an honor for you to feel at home with his parents, too. Honestly, you spoil them too much — one look into his bright, wide eyes and you gave in. James didn’t even care that you brought two luggages for clothes alone; he lifted each bag with delight and with ease. 
(Remus had the audacity to laugh when he caught you and Sirius staring at James’s flexed muscles, mouth wide open. 
“As I have said, Remus Lupin, I do not drool!”
“Sure, dove, whatever you say.”)
But now, you really aren’t so sure of your decision. 
“Oh, she’s beautiful, Jamie!” Euphemia encases you in a bear hug the moment you step inside the manor. You’re engulfed in the scent of cinnamon and burnt sugar. You stiffen as she cradles your face in between her palms, smiling ever so fondly at you, cooing about how precious you look, much like a mother would — and how your mother never did. You wonder if this is what you’ve been missing all along — the thought stabs you right in the heart. “Please excuse the mess, dear, we haven’t had the chance to clean up yet, Monty and I are excited to try the recipe Lily owled to us the other day, you see.” 
“I-It’s okay,” You rasp, struggling to hold back the tears. 
“Oh, what a darling you are!” Euphemia smiles and ushers you further inside. “Come, come. The others are right upstairs. You must be tired from the train ride. It is so lovely to finally meet you. Make yourself at home, dear heart — James Fleamont Potter! Give your mama a kiss this instant! Don’t think introducing your girlfriend will distract me from the fact you didn’t owl me letters for two months straight!” 
James whines as he hides behind you. “Mum, I’m seventeen, stop embarrassing me.” 
Euphemia scoffs, hands snapping to her hips. “You’re going to be my baby boy forever, now come here.” 
With a shy smile, you step away to surrender James to his mother — you don’t understand which part of this is embarrassing; you wish for a mum who’d welcome you home like that, with unconditional love and kind eyes. James squawks and calls you a traitor, just before his mum attacks him with loud, exaggerated kisses to his cheek, leaving lipstick stains all over his face. You hide a laugh behind your palm, ignoring the way your heart pangs at the sight of their unrestrained smiles. Euphemia lets her son go after a few more seconds, cackling at the masterpiece she’s created on a grumbling James, who’s rubbing his skin to erase his mother’s affections. She hugs you once more before setting you off, telling you to meet Fleamont after you’ve unpacked. 
Just as you reach the foot of the stairs, you hear a girlish squeal, then the sound of rapid footfall against each wooden step. Lily greets the two of you by jumping off the last step and wrapping each arm around yours and James’s neck. “Welcome home, Jamie!” She captures his lips with her own before doing the same to you, cupping your cheek lovingly, “So happy you made it, princess! How was the ride here?” 
You were never a fan of traveling by Floo; it made you nauseous after, and left you with a pounding headache for hours. Without hesitation, the others offered to accompany you on the train, but you insisted they Floo ahead to Godric’s Hollow — it took a lot of convincing, but they finally agreed, (they’re not the only ones spoiled; they couldn’t refuse you, too.) With the exception of James, who wanted to be there when you saw his home for the first time. You nearly cried when you saw how well-loved their manor was; rose shrubs dipped in snow, Sirius’s motorcycle parked outside, a mailbox with poorly painted shapes, the fences covered in Christmas lights, and the amount of shoes by the door. From outside, you could hear the laughter and warm conversations. 
“It was fine,” You say in a daze.
Lily sees right through you — and frowns sadly. “You alright?” 
Were you? 
You catch sight of the moving photographs of James and you finally reach your breaking point. There’s a swell in your throat that you can’t seem to push down. There’s a photo of James, Lily, Remus and Sirius; James is in his Quidditch jersey, raising the Golden Snitch high up in the air, Remus is twirling Lily, his arms around her waist, and Sirius is holding up a charmed banner that says: Gryffindor Rules! Slytherin Sucks! Except For My Darling Angel Love Of My Life Most Beautiful And Gorgeous Perfect Brilliant Girlfriend! 
There are hints of life all around the manor. Remus’s textbooks and scarf are laid by the coffee table. Lily’s O.W.L. marks are framed on the wall, along with Dumbledore’s letters to James and Lily awarding them the position of Head Girl and Head Boy, as well as McGonagall’s previous letter to Remus that came with his Prefect badge years ago. There’s a spot dedicated to Peter, filled with a photograph of him awkwardly holding his Herbology test, one that he scored a hundred and twelve percent on. It’s a wall dedicated to them, you realize. 
Then, you find it. 
Right there, up above James’s spot, and beside Sirius’s display of beyond perfect Transfiguration exam marks, and a picture of him and Remus kissing each side of your face. 
It’s a space on that wall just for you. 
James follows your gaze and rubs the back of his head, ears tinged with a shade of deep pink. “Mum left a space when I first told her about you. I-It’s yours, you can put anything you want there.” 
“I can’t,” You whisper, lips quivering as your heart cracks into a million pieces. It’s too much. 
James blinks. “Can’t? It’s yours, I promise. Mum won’t mind. You can even hang your dumb Montrose Magpies poster and I won’t tear it down — Marauders’ honor. I can help you if you want. I-I’m not good as decorating as Lily, but I paid attention to your boring explanation of color theory and I know that you hate this shade of—”
“James, I can’t do this.” 
That’s all you say before you run out of the door. 
(And you’re absolutely delusional if you think James won’t follow you out that door and into the brewing snowstorm.) 
You hear James call out to you, but you opt to ignore him and clutch your winter coat tighter around your body, shivering in the blowing wind, trudging through the deep snow through your heeled boots — designer couldn’t help you now even if you tried. You sniff, the salty taste of your tears dripping to your lips, chest tightening with a foreign kind of pain, and the frost nipping at your fingers. You give up after a few minutes, falling to the ground with an anguished cry, hand clutching the front of your chest as you struggle to breathe. 
James reaches you in a matter of minutes, draping his jacket over you, barely flinching as the cold welts his bare skin. Frantically, he wipes the tears from your eyes, a pained expression on his face as he sees you cry helplessly. “Come on, dove, it’s not safe out here. Let’s go back home, yeah? I’m sorry for upsetting you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry — I’m so sorry, dove, please don’t cry, it’s killing me to s–see you like this.” Tears fall from his eyes, and he begins stuttering from the cold, but you can’t go back to the manor. “What did I do? Please tell me so I can fix it. I love you—I’m sorry.”
You bat his chest. “G–Go home, Jamie. I’ll just take the train back to the castle.” 
“What?” He shakes his head, grabbing onto your hands. “Y–You can’t. Not in this weather. You’ll get sick if you try to walk back to the station.” 
You withdraw from his hold as you back away from James, slipping into the ice-cold mask you know so well. 
James rises in an instant, reaching for you. “No, no, no, no, no. You don’t get to do that. Not now. Not with me. Please, just come home and I-I’ll fix it.” 
“Goodbye, James,” You tell him firmly, clenching your jaw as you look him straight in the eyes. 
He grimaces. “That won’t work on me, princess, and you know it. Don’t push me away—please.” 
“Go home, James!” You yell bitterly, pivoting on your heel as you march through the thick inches of snow, hearing Remus and Lily’s voice grow louder in the distance. “Just go!”
He grits his teeth, nails digging deep into the palms of his hand. “You’re a coward if you walk away from here—from us—right now!” James shouts through chattering teeth and stray tears. “And I hate cowards more than anything!” 
You don’t look back. 
(Later that night, James stares blankly at the fireplace, tossing twigs now and then. He’s all out of tears. Remus crosses his legs as he sits beside James and offers him a steaming mug of hot chocolate. 
“Don’t want one,” He mutters, words coarse from earlier, head turning away from Remus’s gift. “Just want her.” 
Remus sets the beverage on the ground before pulling James’s head down to his chest, gently wiping the tears from his eyes as he wraps the blanket around both of them. He presses a soft kiss to James’s hair. 
“I said I hated her,” James says weakly. “I don’t—I never will. I just hate that she’s out there spending Christmas all alone. She could be here—with us. I hate not knowing that she’s safe, or that she thinks I don’t love her anymore—that’s a bloody lie, Moony. I adore her. If anything, I don’t deserve her.” 
James finds out that he does have more tears left in him. “I miss her. Bring her back, Rem, please.”
“You’ll cry yourself sick, love.” Remus wipes each tear away. “Let’s go to bed, yeah? Mornings do have a way of bringing miracles to us.” Because after a night of excruciating pain under the moon’s command, he wakes up to sunlight, and there you all are — smiling down at him like he is deserving of love; and maybe Remus can’t fault you for running away.
You’d kiss him gently and tell him how proud you are of him for coming back to you. 
Remus only hopes you come back to them, too.)
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1976; CURRENTLY, IN THE PAST.)
“AND THAT, dear Harry, is how I humiliated Lucius Malfoy in fifth-year.” Your eyes gleam wickedly as you rest your arms on the school desk. “If he ever bothers you in your time, just mention my name—oh, I wish I could see the look on his face when he realizes I’m haunting him from my grave. Tell him, okay?” 
Harry nods excitedly. “Definitely.”
“Got anymore stories?” He asks. 
You cackle menacingly. “Boy, do I ever. Let me tell you about the one time Beckett McLaggen took me out on a date to Madam Puddifoot’s!” 
Harry grimaces. “Do I even want to hear about this?” 
“Oh, pish-posh.” You dismiss him with a wave. “You do, this story is hilarious. Now that I look back on it, Sirius was quite cross with him for the rest of the day—how strange. I wonder why.” 
Harry stares at you in disbelief. “You’re joking.” 
“I most certainly am not, Harry Potter.” 
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1974; ORIGINAL TIMELINE.)
AN EAR-PIERCING scream wakes you up in the middle of the night. You snatch your wand from under your pillow, heart thudding against your chest in fear — last year, the Prewett twins decided it was funny to break into the girls’ quarters at midnight; you get a month worth of detention for hitting Gideon with the Expulso curse and suspension from class for two weeks, while the twins get away with a slap on the wrist and have the time of their lives spreading rumors of you being a Death-Eater. 
Endora shoots up to her feet as well, staring at you in panic — then the girl screams again, and you realize it’s Allegra. 
You sigh in relief, lowering your wand before saying to Endora, “I-It’s alright. I’ll handle it.” 
“Are you sure?” Endora asks timidly, gnawing at her lip and wincing when Allegra wails once more. 
“Certain,” You respond, yawning. 
As Endora climbs back into her bed, you slip into Allegra’s side, holding her head to your chest, brushing your fingers through her hair and untangling the knots. Like most of the Greengrass women, she was of ethereal beauty — silky blonde hair, smooth and fair skin, deep blue eyes that enchant wizards and witches alike. But her cheeks have gone sallow from exhaustion, eyes devoid of any emotion, and her skin now sunken into her bones. 
“I don’t want to marry him—I can’t! He’s old enough to be my father!” Allegra sobs violently, desperate for anyone to hear her, but no one really ever hears their cries from the dungeon. “They said they’d wait until I graduated—they promised! I’m supposed to marry him this summer!” 
Your heart breaks for your friend — there’s nothing you can do but hold her until she’s cried every bit of her soul out. 
“I hate them,” Allegra whispers to you; she had been shedding tears for hours, trembling in your arms until morning finally came. 
“I know,” You say defeatedly. 
“I wish I was dead,” She replies lifelessly. “He can’t marry a dead bride.” 
“Don’t say that,” You beg as you hug her tight; afraid to lose her to the world that has worn her down. “Please.” 
Allegra sinks into her pillows, and you follow in suit, hesitantly laying your head beside hers. She stares at the ceiling dully. “The world is so, so cruel to us daughters sometimes. And it’ll be cruel to our daughters, and their daughters. When will it end?” 
“I don’t know,” You say honestly. 
Allegra hums, neither disappointed nor surprised, and turns away to lay on her side. “Pansy,” She mumbles.
“What?”
“If we lived in a better world and I married for love, I’d want to name my daughter Pansy — like the flower.”
(Later that day, you are given detention for beating Evan Rosier to a pulp. He makes a joke about dirty blood, and you snap — you are tired of laughing and pandering to the arrogant men in your life. This is the first time you publicly defy your parents, and it felt good — more than good, it was liberating. It’s like breathing fresh air for the first time. Then, you earn a second detention for storming up to the Gryffindor common room and punching Fabian Prewett in the face — because fourth-year boys had no business sneaking into the girls’ dorm in the middle of the night for some stupid prank — and you threaten him by pointing the tip of your wand deep into his neck, demanding they apologize to you, Allegra, and Endora. 
You get what you want, naturally — as princesses do. You decide then that you’re going to create a world where girls like Allegra don’t cry anymore.)
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1976; CURRENTLY, IN THE PAST.) 
HARRY TWINGES WHEN he hears the end of your fourth or fifth story of the afternoon — no wonder you had been so angered by his being in your room. “I-I’m sorry—” 
“Yesterday was hardly your fault,” You interrupt him. “There’s no controlling where magic brings you, not in your case. You didn’t know, but now you know. I don’t hold it against them — anymore. Fifteen-year-old boys can be stupid, and at least they’ve learned from their mistakes. You should have seen your mother — erm, Lily — she looked like she was ready to kill them after finding out what they had done. Even Molly was cross with the twins, and you know how loyal Molly is to her family.”
Oh, Harry knows.
And Hermione knows it all too well. 
“Others call us evil, conniving and cruel, Harry,” You tell him grimly, “But I will protect my own, no matter what I have to do.”
At that moment, Harry thinks he understands why some people come to fear Slytherin. 
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1978; ORIGINAL TIMELINE.) 
“LOOK, LILY-PAD, the princess is drooling again.” 
You open your eyes to glare at Sirius. “I don’t drool, idiot.” 
Lily chortles as she presses a kiss to your shoulder. “Of course you don’t, princess.”
Currently, you’re lying on a shabby loveseat that is too small to hold the three of you; it’s the only furniture in the new cottage you call home, where Potter Manor was right across the street. (Euphemia was ecstatic to have you all nearby — the lovely woman was sprite for her age, but you notice the way she stops to sit and catch her breath, Sirius and James hovering over her attentively; you’re good at pretending, so you pretend that the Potters will be around forever.) Some rooms are dusty with cobwebs, walls unfinished, with the floors creak under your feet, and there’s no other place you’d rather call home. 
You’re in between Sirius and Lily; your lips swollen from their kisses, cheeks flushed and the column of your throat graced with love marks. It’s the most beautiful set of jewelry you’ve ever worn, not even burmese rubies could compare. Lily’s hand rests under your jumper, Sirius’s thigh wedged between your own. While peace blankets the three of you, James and Remus have yet to come home from their task given by the Order. 
“You need a haircut, my love,” You mumble drowsily, pulling at one of the dark ringlets — it’s gone past his shoulders now. He captures your hand and leaves a delicate kiss on your fingertips. 
Lily buries her nose in your hair. “She’s right, Siri.” 
“I’m always right.” You pout. 
Sirius, love-sick fool that he is, smiles as he tilts your chin with his finger and ensnares you in a kiss that leaves you breathless. “Course you are — our girl’s bloody brilliant, isn’t she, Lily-pad?”
“Without a doubt.”
You roll your eyes at their antics, rolling around so that your back is pressed to Sirius’s chest — they’re not fooled, however; Lily sees the way your eyes flicker in amusement and the way your lips threaten to curve up into a smile. She traces the swell of your lips with her thumb, to the dip of your nose, and to the apples of your cheek. Sea-green eyes beam at you.
“I love you,” says Lily, committing every inch of you to her memory as she wears a melancholic smile. “I don’t know who told you that you don’t deserve to be loved, but they were wrong. You are so precious to us, dove, you don’t even know how much. This right here is real — and nothing could ever change that.” 
As it turns out, you did have more smiles to give — only the happy ones; not the fake, courteous smiles that you had given to your mother’s friends in the past. You come to intertwine your hand with Lily’s, the one that had been resting on your cheek, tenderly wiping the tears that pooled within your eyes. Your heart could burst from your chest. They had a habit of wringing every emotion out of you; of making love feel real, not just a myth from a Muggle storybook. And you find, that you didn’t mind this particular habit of theirs. In the comforts of the place you call home, where you irrefutably belong, you are free to seek their arms and fall into their love, and the best part is where you get to love them right back. 
How lucky you are. 
“Let’s get married,” You blurt out, holding your breath, feeling Sirius’s hand on your waist stiffen. 
“What?” Lily gasps breathlessly. 
You smile up at Lily. “Let’s get married. All of us. I don’t care where, o–or about the rings, let’s just get married. With the war going on, we deserve s–something good.” 
Lily sobs as she nods excitedly. “Yes. Oh my Gods—we’re getting married!” 
Sirius stares at you in wonder. “Bloody hell, dove, give a guy some warning, would you?”
You grin. “Is that a yes?” 
“It’s a yes — forever.” Sirius dives in to kiss you senseless. “Couldn’t get rid of us now even if you tried.” 
“I don’t think I’d want to, anyway.” 
Right then, the rickety door slams open, and you hear the loves of your life calling out for the three of you. Followed by the heavy thud of Dragonhide boots plunking down onto the floor
“We’re home!” James announces in the entryway. 
Lily wastes no time in shooting up from the sofa and welcoming them home with quite a unique greeting:
“We’re all getting married!” 
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1976; CURRENTLY, IN THE PAST.) 
“That ring is an heirloom passed down to the children in our family,” You tell Harry, pointing to the band around his finger. “It’s meant to symbolize our loyalty and duty to our House. My mother said I would have earned it only when I became a wife to Ferguson Bulstrode.” You chuckle at Harry’s perturbed grimace. “No, I didn’t marry him — thankfully. After Allegra. . . I—I. . . I couldn’t bear it. If I was going to marry, it would be on my own terms, and it would be for love, nothing less. Then, if my child wanted it, I’d give them this ring. I want to leave behind a legacy that I created. When I was younger, I’d resigned to a fate that was forcefully carved by someone else’s hand.” 
You shake your head. “I want to die being remembered by those who loved me. Otherwise, I was never truly alive.” 
Harry won’t let that happen, he won’t ever let your name be forgotten. He’ll share of your kindness to his friends, of your bravery and loyalty. Hermione will love your fondness of Muggle musicals and how you stood up to Lily’s defense in a world that ostracized her for being different. He’ll remind Remus of your love for him, that he had brought you hope in times of despair. Harry is going to make sure the world knows you had been so full of life with endless love to give. You are going to be remembered in the way Voldemort never will. 
“What do the words mean?” He stares at the writing: Tempus Edax Rerum.
You smile. “Time, devourer of all things.”
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1978; ORIGINAL TIMELINE.)
“REMUS—THE MUGGLES ARE stuck in the telly again!” 
Remus snickers as he takes the vacant space beside you on the loveseat, now sewn up with care and spattered with knitted quilts and throw pillows — still too small to carry three people but hasn’t given out yet, anyway. He takes Lily’s legs over his lap, swiftly stealing a kiss from your lips. “It’s a film, dove, they’re acting.” 
You purse your lips. “They’re trapped inside, then?” 
Lily snorts into her tub of chocolate fudge ice cream. “Not quite, princess, it’s recorded. Movies are like moving photographs — but they’re an hour long with sounds.” 
“Oh.” You turn your attention back to the screen, back to the film Lily had been watching. You had to admit — the story of Sandy and Danny was an interesting one. “Lily-pad, she’s singing — again.” 
Sirius hushes you from where he was cuddling James on the other couch. “She’s supposed to sing, dove, it’s a musical.” 
“Well, yes,” You begin, and James groans into Sirius’s chest, “But they should just talk instead of singing all the time — Sandy’s got a lovely voice, though. I just don’t understand why Danny’s treating her like that! Truthfully, I don’t like any of Sandy’s new friends, other than Frenchy — she’s harmless. If I was Sandy I’d move on from Danny — but then again, that hair and those muscles, and his leather jacket! I can’t blame her.” 
Sirius glowers at you. “You like his leather jacket?” 
“His hair?” James exclaims in horror. 
Remus chuckles as he tucks you in his side, kissing your temple. “If I were you, dove, I’d be quiet and just watch the film.”
“Oh, no, no.” Sirius barely glances at the television as he pauses the film and stands up to point an accusatory finger at you. “Since when were you into leather jackets? Do you think those are cool? Since when? Jamie, should I get one? Let’s unpack this, right now. And his muscles, really?” 
Your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Play the film, Black, I want to see the end of their love story.” 
“I’m telling Euphemia on you!” 
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1976; CURRENTLY, IN THE PAST.) 
“—and then we realized that we accidentally locked Hermione in with the troll.” Harry’s arms flail about as he shares some of his adventures with you — it had only been fair. He felt like a young boy again, entering Hogwarts for the first time as he watched you listen to him intently, gasping at tale of the vanishing glass and scolding him when he says he and Ron had decided to go searching for Hermione, and by extension, the troll. 
Your eyes grow wide. “A troll? In Hogwarts? They can’t have, not unless—”
“Someone let it in—I know!” Harry grins. “You’re not going to believe who let the troll in the castle.” 
You snap your fingers, “Malfoy, the older one. I know that lump’s got something to do with this. Can’t have been Snape or Quirrell.”
“Just you wait.” Harry’s eyes twinkle with mischief. “—and so, Professor McGonagall finds us, and can you believe it? She awards us for dumb luck! Then. . .” 
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1979; ORIGINAL TIMELINE.)
IT HAD COME AS A surprise when you volunteered to join the Order of the Phoenix. You wanted to scoff at their shocked faces — was it so surprising that you wanted to protect your family? They let Severus Snape join their ranks, and you’re fairly certain that you’re a better fighter and survivalist than him — not the better liar, however, he can have that one. The week before, you and the others had an argument that lasted for the whole day. They did not want you in harm’s way, and you would rather die than stay at home, waiting idly for them to return, when you could be out there alongside them. 
(“It’s not some game out there!” Remus runs through his hair in frustration — he had always been so careful to never raise his voice at you, but this one time, he needed you to back down. “Every time you step into a raid, there’s a possibility of you dying, don’t you understand that? And even if you survive — you’ll have blood on your hands, and it does not wash away no matter how many times you try, trust me, we know.” 
“So what?” You throw your hands up in the air, equally aggravated. “I just stay here like some. . . some pet waiting for their owners to come home?” 
“Yes!” Lily angrily replies. “That is the whole point of us joining the Order — so you get to live another day. So we all have a chance at this new world without a war. Let us protect you!”
You grind down on your jaw. “You have got another thing coming, if you think I’m not going to fight tooth and nail for my future.” 
James slams a fist onto the kitchen counter. “There are horrors out there you can’t even imagine. I-It’s worse than we thought. It’s our every nightmare come to life.” 
You raise your chin defiantly. “Then we face it together.”)
Each day, you survive, and each day the five of you return home — scarred and bruised, but safe within the arms of one another. When you collapse and crumble, it is only for the walls of your home to witness.��
Now a month into autumn, you are on your first task without Sirius, James, Lily or even Remus. Instead, you are assigned by Dumbledore to Knockturn Alley along with Peter Pettigrew and Gideon Prewett. How strange time was, years ago you’d never associate with the proud Gryffindors, and now you had to trust them to guard your back. Everyone had to grow up quickly during war, even pranksters. 
The alley was quiet — too quiet for your liking. You had been on alert since the moment you apparated into the area, wand at your ready. The back of your neck prickled with goosebumps as you kept an ear out for any sign of movement. 
Peter shivers and you glance at him — he’s become far too skinny, constantly shrinking into himself out of fear. And while you want to comfort him, you keep your eyes up ahead. Still, there's a nagging feeling that you can’t quite make out. It’s different from all the other times you’ve been asked to search and rescue. 
“Don’t you feel like there’s something wrong?” You ask Gideon, eyes snapping to the flock of crows flying overhead. 
“Dunno, kid,” Gideon says, nudging your shoulder with pressed lips. “Everything about this is freaking me out. The place is too empty.” 
“I get what you mean,” You reply, swallowing your own nervousness. Without waiting for the rest, you speed up your pace. “I’ll scout ahead, who knows what’s been here before us. I don’t want to risk any of our lives, so let’s be careful. Gideon, ward the area while I check for any cursed objects, last time you almost got your arm cut off by a newspaper of all things. And Peter, could you. . . Peter?” 
When you turn to check behind you, it all happens so fast. 
“Avada Kedavra!” 
You scream as Gideon’s deathly pale body falls to the floor. 
“No!” 
You aren’t given a moment to rush to his side — someone digs their wand in the side of your neck, and you stiffen in their hold. It’s not until they hiss in your ear that you recognize the voice. 
“Rosier.” You spit, biting down on your lip when he presses the tip of his wand further into your flesh. 
“Stupid witch,” He taunts, eyes dilating with vengeance. “Where are your lovers now?” 
“Jealous?” You claw at his arms, chest heaving up and down. “We don’t have room for one more, sorry.”
“Shut up!” He pushes you to the ground in blind rage, and that’s all the opening you need. 
“Expulso!” 
Each curse you send his way lands on his cloaked body, sending him staggering backwards. With ease, you deflect each spell he counters with. You’re winning, he is growing tired, and perhaps that is why you let your guard down. 
“Accio wand!” 
The magic fizzles out, and the spell dies on your lips. As you swivel your head to find out who’s stolen your wand, you expect to find another Death Eater — except it’s Peter. Just Peter Pettigrew, quivering in his boots with tears and snot dripping down his face, your wand in his free hand. You furrow your brows — it doesn’t make sense. 
“Peter?” You call out. 
“Crucio!” 
The curse finds its home in your body — and it sinks deep into your flesh, grinding your bones until you slump to the ground, wriggling as you draw blood from your lips, refusing to let them hear an ounce of your pain. Blood trickles down your nose as you hear Evan Rosier dancing around you in glee. You know this curse well; the sound of your father condemning you gleefully echo in your head. You crawl over to Gideon — hand desperately reaching for his shirt. 
“Crucio!” Rosier grabs you by the hair and howls with laughter. “Scream for me again—Crucio!” 
It’s as though someone had begun to rip you in half. Your bones shift and crack with every uttered curse. The veins in your eyes have popped and through bloody vision, you see Peter cowering away from you.
“You—fucking—traitor,” You gurgle, throat welling up with blood that’s risen from your stomach. “They’ll—never—forgive you—never.” 
“Crucio! Crucio! Crucio! Come on, witch — SCREAM! Look at her go, Pettigrew, crawling like some pathetic worm.” 
You lay in your owl pool of blood, wearing a body that is marred and lacerated. But you see something in Gideon’s hand. I’m sorry, you want to tell him. I’ll get you home to Molly, you promise, please lend me your magic this once. With every last bit of your strength, just as Rosier directs another curse at you — one you know you won’t survive — you snatch the wand from Gideon’s hand and tear the last of your magic from your throat. 
“Defodio!” 
You wait with a bated breath as silence fills the alley; lucky to have remembered Professor Flitwick’s quick remark as to how the slight difference in pronouncing a charm could alter its effect. Rosier stands on shaky legs, a stream of blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. You watch as he looks down to his chest, where a gaping hole now lies instead of where his ribcage and heart should be. As Gideon had done before him, Evan Rosier crashes to the ground. 
That just leaves one more problem. 
Peter scurries to your side the moment Rosier can hurt him no longer. “I-I’m sorry—I’m sorry. I had to. . . T–They killed my mum, they killed M–Mary, and t–they said I would die too if I d–didn’t do this. I’m sorry. Y–Your father was there, too. He said he would take you in, let you l–live if you joined us. W–We can live, t–there’s still a chance for us to survive.” 
Your fingers are bent at unsightly angles, the remnants of the Torture Curse still flowing through your veins, but your face contorts in anger as you let your hand curl around his neck. He sobs louder, and though your grip is weakening — you make sure he looks into your eyes, that he feels your touch.
“I’d rather—die.” You say through gritted teeth, nails drawing blood from his grimy skin. “You’ll die too—you’ll feel my blood on your skin—everywhere you go, Peter.” 
Peter shakes his head, now clumsily pushing his wand down to the center of your chest. “Y–You were the only o–one who d–didn’t laugh at me. N–Not like the others.” 
“When they find out—you’re dead, Pettigrew.” You laugh darkly as more blood exits your body through your lips. “There’s nowhere you can hide—you’re a dead man.” 
“P-Please die,” Peter cries out, each killing spell coming out as a garbled whisper. “Please die,  s–so I can live. I c–can’t fight anymore, I’m tired.” 
Your vision goes a hazy shade of white, Peter’s silhouette fading away to the familiar scenery of your cottage in Godric’s Hollow. 
Oh.
Dying is less painful than you had expected it to be. It’s like coming home after a day’s work. 
You just wanted to rest now. 
The world caves in on you, and you barely hear Peter’s next words. 
“Avada Kedavra.” 
(It’s past midnight when Peter Pettigrew arrives at Grimmauld Place, where it’s been altered to host the members of the Order, Lily sobs in relief and gathers him in her arms. 
You’ll feel my blood on your skin.
You’re a dead man. 
Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. 
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re home safe — welcome home — thank the Gods you’re alive,” Lily blabbers through her tears, checking his face for any major injuries. “Merlin, what happened? There’s too much blood on you. It’s on your shirt and your face.” 
“It’s not mine,” says Peter hoarsely. 
Sirius’s gaze darkens, arms crossed over his jacket as he leaned against the wall. “Where is she?” 
Lily nods, standing on her tiptoes to search for any sign of you. “Peter? I–Is she alright? Has something happened to her?” 
Peter stays silent for a moment too long, and he finds himself slammed against the wall behind him, Sirius snarling in his face as he seizes the front of Peter’s soiled shirt. “Where the fuck is she, Pettigrew?” 
Peter begins to weep. “I–It was an ambush. None of us saw it coming. Gideon r–ran. She was taking on two Death-Eaters at once and I–I was too far away.” 
Lily collapses to the ground with a heart-wrenching scream.
Sirius growls as he drives his fist to the wall, inches away from Peter’s face. “Where is her body?” 
“It was a disintegration spell.” With Severus Snape — brought to the Malfoy Manor to be made as an example of what happens to blood-traitors. 
James pushes Sirius out of the way and grabs a hold of Peter, knocking his head against the concrete. “It should have been you—” James snaps at Peter. “If it came down to you or her—you should have saved her!” 
“W-What?” Peter stammers, eyes wide. “She chose to save m–me.” 
James sneers at him. “You should have just died.”)
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
(1996; CURRENTLY, IN THE PRESENT.) 
ST. JEROME’S GRAVEYARD had exactly one visitor. Remus Lupin sits in between James and Lily’s graves, a bottle of firewhiskey in his hand — four empty at his side. He must be going crazy. There’s no funeral for Sirius as there’s no body to actually bury, Harry is presumed missing after an attack in Diagon Alley, and your name stares back at him mockingly. He tries not to dwell on your passing — there have been too many holes, too many details left unsaid; and he knows just the rat who has all the answers. Unfortunately, Wormtail won’t come out of whatever hole he’s crawled into. Either him, or Severus. 
He sighs, rubbing the temples of his head to ease the growing pains. 
You are the first to be buried of the five. Like Sirius, there had been no recovered body to lay to rest, but they asked for a compromise instead. Your name is engraved under Euphemia’s in her tombstone, and Remus figures it’s the fitting place to leave you be — with your mother, welcoming you home with open arms. He hopes you’re at peace, wherever you are. (Because, honestly, at this point, he might just fucking follow you.) 
Remus takes another swig of his alcohol, laughing bitterly to himself. He glances at James’s headstone and raises his bottle to him. “Not even in death, huh?”
He downs the last of the drink, rising to his tremulous legs. Remus gathers the flower bouquets he had bought earlier this morning; lilies-of-the-valley for Lily, white carnations for Euphemia, forget-me-nots for you, and for James — Remus leaves a moving photograph of him and Sirius; it’s a snapshot taken by Lily during the wedding as James dips his head low to kiss Sirius. Remus thinks it’s a wonderful memory to remember them by. 
“Take care of them for me, Jamie.”
And that is all the goodbyes Remus has the strength for. 
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end note. i think i was crying the whole time i was writing this part, LMAO. i should be able to wrap things up in the next one. important!! there is actually a scene i was hesitant to include, but i ended up writing anyway. it's the whole part where allegra greengrass breaks down, and it was difficult for me to decide because i knew the implications; that i had a strong underlying message in that part, and i don't want it to be misconstrued or anything. pls pls tell me if it comes off as offensive, i definitely don't want to hurt anyone. nevertheless, thank you again so so so much for reading!! if you spot a plot hole, no you didnt!! i hope the time-jumps weren't too confusing! again, thank you so so much for reading!!
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