#remus lupin x you angst

[remusluvr]

all these things that i've done | remus lupin

summary: Remus is drunk, you're the first person he thinks of to call. content: drunk Remus, exes, throwing up (and reader tells Remus to throw up so he can get it out of his system), unedited

"(Y/N)," he draws out, voice high and sing-songy. He's honestly a little surprised you picked up his call. You're a little surprised that you picked up too. It's nearly two in the morning. Anyone in their right mind would have woken up, seen that their ex was calling, and put the phone right back down to go to sleep. You couldn't though not with the achy feeling that formed in your stomach after seeing the caller ID.

"Hi, Remus. Are you alright?" you ask, voice raspy from having been woken up. You hear James nearby calling for Remus and Remus brushing him off so he can find a quieter place to talk to you. "What's going on?"

"We went to a bar. It's the bar that we always used to go to," he breathes, background much quieter now. He must have gotten away. You don't really know what to say. "It made me think of you. James told me not to call."

"You're drunk, Remus," you grumbled, fingers pinching at the bridge of your nose. Of course, he's drunk. That's the only reason why he's calling. "Go back to James and Sirius. Are they trying to leave?"

"No. But I want to leave."

"Are you really calling me for a ride? What the fuck?"

"No, no, no, no, no. I mean, yes. I am calling for a ride but I miss you."

"Call an uber." With that, you hang up the phone. How dare he call you asking for a ride after you haven't spoken to each other in months. You lost half of your friends because of your breakup. Lily and Marlene are the only ones that still talk to you. Every once in a while, you'll get a text from James but nothing important.

And you would think with the way you're fuming at him for thinking he could just call you up and you'd come running, that when his name comes up on your phone again you wouldn't answer it. You do.

"I'm sorry for calling you. Please don't be mad at me," he whispered. You feel bad. He's obviously drunk with no way to get home. You don't want him to take an uber by himself and the bar isn't too far from your house.

"Wait outside, I'll be there in fifteen." He mumbles a thank you before you can hang up on him. You huff under your breath as you take the warm blankets off of you, getting up to locate a pair of pants, shoes, and your car keys.

He's like an excited puppy when you get there, jumping up immediately as you pull in front of where he's sitting with James. James doesn't look as drunk as Remus and you're grateful that one of them had the hindsight to be a little smart. Getting out of the car, Remus is on you, pulling you into a hug so he can rest his cheek on your head, mumbling out a, "Missed you so much."

You try to ignore the pull his words have on your heart but it's only been a few months since you broke up. You haven't exactly moved on from him.

"He drank a lot," James explains, "I tried to get him to call anyone else but he told me that he wanted you to come and get him."

You spin in Remus's hold so he's pressed against your back, face buried in your neck. You're trying to talk to James but you can't focus, not when he starts pressing kisses onto your skin like no time has passed between the two of you seeing each other.

"Don't worry, I'll get him home."

"Noooo, can I sleep on your couch? Please?" James looks at you with a look of pity. You brush it off, reaching back to run a hand through Remus's hair. You say bye to his friends, pulling him into the passenger seat of your car and handing him a water bottle that you had grabbed before you left. "You're so sweet."

You don't say anything, climbing into the driver's seat and starting in the direction of his house. He notices and is quick to whine about wanting to be with you. If it weren't so late maybe you'd have more energy to argue, but you don't so you just start in the direction of your apartment.

"I think about you all the time," he confesses. That's bold coming from the boy who locked you out of his life. He broke up with you so why does he think he has a right to say these things to you. You have to remind yourself that he's drunk so you don't slap him across the face. "I don't think I'll ever get over you, sweetheart."

"Rem, stop talking," you say through clenched teeth. He doesn't know what he's saying and he won't remember it in the morning. Tomorrow, he'll wake up and scurry out before you wake up so that he doesn't have to face you, you're sure of it.

"I never stopped loving you. Was just scared to let you in."

There are tears pricking at your eyes but you won't let yourself cry. You won't. Because if you do then Remus will just try to comfort you and you'll let yourself get your hopes up. You don't say anything the rest of the way home.

He throws up the minute he steps out of your car. You groan, throwing his arm over your shoulder so you can help him into the house and to a proper toilet.

"I'm sorry I called you. Just need you. I hate not having you around."

"We can talk in the morning. Pull the trig and throw up so we can both sleep."

You let him sleep on the floor by your bed after he complained about the couch. Anything to just have him shut up. You don't sleep much, not when you can hear him breathing so close to you. Everything he's said tonight keeps replaying in your head as you stare up at the ceiling. If he really means any of it, he'll be here in the morning and willing to talk to you. If not, you'll block him and finally let go.

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[mediocre-daydreams]

𝐬𝐢𝐱.   𝐢’𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐬

remus lupin x animagus!reader

𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 : 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚢, 𝚒 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠

summary: snape threatens you after he finds out remus' secret, but james misinterprets the situation, instigating a heated argument. you open up to remus for the first time.

notes: alright as usual i never proofread my work but i think this is my favorite chapter writing-wise so hopefully u enjoy! smidge of fluff. angst/hurt and then comfort. this took like 5hrs idk when the next time i’m gonna be able to produce a quality chapter is

w/c: 5.0k

･ﾟ⋆☾*･ﾟ.・。.*゜✭・･ﾟ✫・⋆。.

i’m begging for you to take my hand wreck my plans, that’s my man

'lupine lawlessness: why lycanthropes don’t deserve to live' by emerett picardy.

that was the book that fell out of snape’s bag.

the cover was well worn and curving at the edges; snape’s ego would never let him buy secondhand, which meant he must’ve read the book multiple times. on the inside of the paperback cover was snape’s signature, unabashedly bold and written in dark ink that covered half the page. it was almost like he wanted everybody to know his beliefs on werewolves—no, he wanted you to know.

that left you with one conclusion: he must’ve found out about remus’ condition.

the notes in the margins did nothing to unwravel the knot in your stomach. you weren’t sure if you were still in your dorm, or if the world had started spinning on an axis with you at the very edge, clinging on and swinging unsteadily. in his thick, heavy-handed scrawl, were thinly veiled threats.

should be put down for public safety. the book, which was already yellowing with age, fell to the ground from a sharp tremor of your hands. debilitating pages unbound themselves from the spine and fluttered through the air, deceivingly elegant in comparison to its depraved contents.

remus lupin was none of those things. he was not soulless, nor evil, and he absolutely did not deserve-

lyall lupin? lupin… remus’ father? 

you had a vague picture of remus’ childhood. he grew up in isolation from muggle society as a safety precaution, and distanced from the wizarding world to avoid the prejudice and discrimintation. in your first year defense against the dark arts class, you’d studied werewolves as a part of the ‘dark creatures’ unit. you had your qualms and discomforts with that section of the reading, even as an 11 year old with no awareness about remus’ condition, but the wizarding world was becoming more progressive (or so it claimed). the old defense teacher had retired in your second year; the ‘dark creatures’ curriculum had been edited heavily and the crude language had been replaced.

you didn’t know where snape got this book, much less such an old edition containing such foul language that wasn’t commonly used anymore. the ministry’s werewolf capture unit had formed a separate branch (the werewolf support unit) and dolores umbridge’s anti-werewolf legislation had begun to loosen. you figured snape must’ve owned this book for years now, considering its outdated information and wear, or he’d stolen it from the restricted section. either option terrified you. either option showed his dedication to hating lycanthropes, and by proxy, remus.

there was an abrupt knocking on your door. before you could invite the knocker in, lily, mary, and dorcas streamed in, chatting about the next hogsmeade trip and what lily should wear to slughorn’s party.

that’s right, you thought. i still have to attend the party with james. and snape will be there too.

“hey babe, have you started getting ready?” lily smiled at you, oblivious to the dread clouding your mind.

you swallowed thickly. “yeah, i was just thinking about what i should wear!” you lied, putting on a chipper voice for the sake of your friends. “shall we get ready together?”

mary bounced on her feet, clapping excitedly. “oooh, my mum sent me some jewery last week, you should totally wear some!”

dorcas started digging through her dresser. “i’ve got this cardigan that’ll go perfectly with your dress, lily! it’s bound to be cold in the dungeons.”

lily grinned, turning to her own bedside table. she dug through the drawer; things tinkled and clacked from within. she pulled out a necklace and held it in the air triumphantly. “for you!”

you rushed over, pushing the apprehension to the side. you could worry about this later—for now, your friends were here to care and dote on you, and you couldn’t be more appreciative of their ability to cheer you up.

“it’s gorgeous!” you gushed, allowing lily to clasp it around your neck. her fingers were slender, ghosting over your skin as she fixed the cold silver chain. “thank you, lils.”

“don’t thank me,” she shook her head humbly, “it’s like it was made for you. there’s a little moon charm, d’you see? i thought of you immediately.”

you quirked your mouth into a confused smile. “that’s so sweet of you! you’re so thoughtful, always thinking of people out of the blue.”

mary chortled. “oh darling, it wasn’t out of the blue this time. it’s a moon, because of you and moony, obviously.”

“excuse me?”

dorcas pointed her finger at you. “see? i told you that’d be her reaction. ha! marlene owes me three galleons.”

you deflected. “oh, where’s marlene anyway?”

dorcas looked at her shoes bashfully. “she’s, uh- james offered to lend her a suit. she looks… really good.”

you and lily looked at each other knowingly.

“alright!” dorcas clapped her hands, trying to break the tension and redirect the focus off her. “let’s get the two of you dolled up; looking good for the dates!”

lily was eager, completely compliant as mary stood behind her and curled her long, ginger locks. dorcas was holding up different products and you were giving your opinion on each, a little more hesitant than lily, who seemed to fall naturally into the beautification process. you supposed it was because she was already very beautiful herself. 

“you look very handsome,” dorcas mused, placing her hands on your shoulders as she admired your reflection in the mirror. “well, you always look great. but i think i did a pretty good job.”

you turned your head to examine all your angles. “agreed. thank you, dora!” the two of you exchanged a loud, forceful high five, catching the attention of lily and mary.

“wow!” mary squealed. her hands lifted halfway to her mouth before she turned and patted lily’s bicep to confirm she was seeing the same sight.

lily gasped. “you look incredible! potter won’t know what hit’em.”

you rolled your eyes. “you know i’ve only got eyes for one person- oh merlin.” you cursed, having (once more) revealed your crush on remus with undeniable clarity.

lily smirked, looking you up and down appraisingly. “we should head out early,” she decided. “maybe we’ll run into a certain someone in the common room.”

your face turned serious. “i swear to godric, if you tell a single soul…”

mary made a zipping motion across her mouth. “not a word,” she promised.

dorcas quirked her head at you. “alright, but you’ve gotta make a move at some point! teasing you in private is getting boring; plus, lupin’s a real catch. someone’s bound to snatch him up if you don’t hurry.”

you bit your lip. dorcas was right.

“fine! fine. this is my formal allowance for the three of you to talk freely, but please, don’t scheme. and please, don’t tell anyone.”

the three girls grinned widely.

“okay!” lily cheered. “now that this piece of juicy gossip has been revealed, i say it’s time for us to make our accidental appearance in front of mr. loverboy.” she wiggled her fingers at mary and dorcas, making sure to take dorcas’ cardigan before she left. you helped her slip it on and made sure her dress was all laid out properly. dorcas was right, the cardigan did look lovely on her. you weren’t sure how long james would stick around after he saw lily looking so ravishing.

as you made sure each of lily’s straps were tied into neat bows, you missed the look of amazement on remus’ face as you made your grand entrance down the spiral staircase. well, it was no different from how you’d normally walked down the stairs, but when lily saw remus’ face, it was as if he were prince charming catching sight of cinderella for the first time. lily would know—she watched that movie countless times with petunia before coming to hogwarts.

“holy shit…” remus whispered; the corners of his mouth quirked upward unconsciously. you caught his eye, and he blushed, dipping his head down to reveal his red-tipped ears. his eyes flickered between your eyes, and you could tell he was restraining himself from roving the entirety of your body (which you wouldn’t mind if he did). you hid your delight by covering your mouth with the back of your hand, careful not to smudge the lipstick dorcas had so meticulously applied. 

“i- you-” remus started, mouth parted in astonishment, “you look beautiful,” he murmured, voice strangled and raw. vulnerable.

“thank you.” your voice was small; eyes hazy. you dipped your own head shyly. “you look beautiful too.”

remus smiled incredulously. “me?”

“yes, you!” you countered, shaking your head at him. “what’s up with the surprise?”

“i just- i didn’t realize you thought that about me.”

you tapped your foot anxiously, feeling like you’d been caught in an act even though you’d done nothing wrong. remus seemed uncomfortable; perhaps you came off too strong. perhaps he didn’t feel the same, and didn’t want you to say those sorts of things to him.

“are you calling me a liar?” you teased. “that i don’t feel that way about you? you don’t know how i feel about you,” you quipped, well aware of the double meaning behind your words. lily seemed to understand as well.

lily tapped her wrist, checking an invisible watch. “alright, stop flirting and let’s get going! i’m nearly positive slughorn’s never going to let it go if we show up late for the first meeting.” she tilted her head toward the portrait hole, and leaned against the wall to wait for you.

remus coughed lightly. “i do mean it though, you look… truly incredible. i don’t know- i haven’t got the words to describe how you look, but when you come back, i’ll have something figured out and i’ll tell you then.”

“well, i was really looking forward to talking to slughorn, so i was planning on being there for the full time and maybe staying after. but i guess i can come back early, even though i wanted to make connections and stuff…” you huffed. “you’re quite demanding, d’you know that, moony? always bossing me around, telling me when i should come and go, like you’re some possessive boyfriend,” you taunted.

remus pursed his lips, hollowing his cheeks as he tried to hold back an embarrassingly large, telling smile. hearing ‘moony’ and ‘boyfriend’ was doing horrible things to his mind. the worst part was that he couldn’t be your boyfriend, no matter how much he wanted to. (or how much you wanted it, if you felt that way in the first place.) sometimes, it felt like life was mocking him, dangling the possibility of being with you in his face like bait on a fishhook, and then reeling it back before he could catch hold. he’d gladly pierce himself on the hook if it meant he could be yours.

“thumper! evans!” james’ giddy voice came booming from the boy’s dormitory. behind him was a suave looking marlene and a grumpy looking sirius. “wait up!”

lily shouted back. “we’re going to be late. you hurry up, wanker.”

marlene was doing a poor job of being discreet as she snuck back to the girls dorm, probably to see dorcas, and sirius was running his hands through his hair. 

“you used up half my gel,” sirius grumbled. “and then you messed up your hair, so what was the point?”

james was by your side in moments and he offered you his elbow, which you accepted with a flourish. lily’s eyes darted to your linked arms, but she quickly recovered and gestured to the portrait hole. “the slug club awaits! onwards, my friends.”

lily’s kitten heels echoed through the corridor, clicking steadily, playing metronome as she set a brisk pace for your trio. there were already muffled voices emanating from the grand doors of slughorn’s meeting room; you were only a few minutes late.

it was drastically louder once you stepped inside. smooth jazz played from a vinyl which slughorn had amplified with a charm, fifth to seventh years were mostly stuck in cliques based on year or gender, and older wizards in dressier robes mingled with each other, for the most part disregarding the students. slughorn was meandering through the clumps of people, looking slightly distraught at the party’s reluctant beginning.

“miss evans! miss y/ln! mr. potter!” he beamed, squeezing past some adult wizards to welcome you. he shook each of your hands enthusiastically. “perfect timing! we’re about to begin dinner and introductions, so please make yourself comfortable at a seat.”

lily smiled apologetically at you and went in search of snape, while you and james found seating next to each other at the long, rectangular table. the two of you examined the students present: bellatrix lestrange, regulus black, snivelus severus snape, emmaline vance, pandora sailstream, yazmin patil, and of course, you, james, and lily.

slughorn stood from his position at the head of the table, tapping his fork on his class very traditionally. “dear students, colleagues, and friends, thank you for being in attendance today. as you know, the slug club is a group of exceptional hogwarts students with great potential, and i hope to nurture and create talented, powerful witches and wizards of you all.”

you looked at james with raised eyebrows, mouthing: “this feels like an ego trip more than trying to help us.”

james snorted, and a couple heads turned towards him. slughorn continued, unphased.

“now, if i can have our students introduce themselves, your interests, etcetera… starting down the line here,” he pointed at bellatrix, “we can begin dinner and i’ll allow you to interact with some of my old friends here.”

bellatrix cleared her throat; smokey eyes surveying the table. “bellatrix lestrange, slytherin house, pureblooded from the noble house of black-” she earned quite a few impressed looks from slughorn’s friends, “-advanced magic theory.”

you, and it seemed a few other half-blood and muggle born students, took notice of her emphasis on blood status—nearly her entire introduction was about her pureblooded status. 

she and sirius couldn’t be any more different, you thought.

“regulus black.” he nodded stiffly to bellatrix, who didn’t seem particularly pleased with his presence either. “slytherin. seeker.” regulus was sharp and pointed; he clearly didn’t want to be there. bellatrix elbowed him roughly and he kept a straight face before opening his mouth once more. “...pureblood.”

“severus snape, pureblood, slytherin, potions.”

“emmaline vance; ravenclaw. i’m keen on defense against the dark arts.” she was much more personable than the slytherins.

“i’m pandora sailstream, also ravenclaw… and i like charms.”

“yazmin patil, nice to meet you all. hufflepuff, herbology.”

you glanced nervously at james and lily. the air in the room was strained, not just from slughorn’s pushiness, but from the obvious division of blood supremacists and their disapproving counterparts.

“i’m y/n y/l/n, gryffindor house, and i… am good at potions.” snape looked at you strangely, and it was then you were certain he had meant for you to see the book and his annotations. you looked away. the situation was too delicate to be handled without deep rumination, and you absolutely could not let your emotions get the best of you tonight.

“i’m james potter, a proud gryffindor,” he grinned, “chaser of the century and a dab hand at transfiguration.” a couple of the students and adults laughed weakly, but slughorn slapped the table approvingly.

“very good, my boy! and one more.”

“lily evans, muggleborn, gryffindor house, potions.” you winced. today was possibly the worst night for lily to be open about her pride in blood heritage. you admired her for it, and you were proud of being muggleborn in a time where blood supremacist ideology was rampant, but you knew when to pick your fights. the ice was too thin and stakes too high for her to be bold.

“wonderful!” slughorn lauded. he snapped his hands, summoning a squadron of house elves bearing a variety of classy finger foods, indulgent steaks, colorful vegetables, and rich desserts.

the food seemed to lightened the mood, and slughorn looked pleased at the turn of events. already, the guest wizards and witches began approaching students with business cards or advice. the row of three slytherins seemed to be the most popular.

james was quickly swept away by a quidditch team manager who’d recognized james even before his introduction. he winked at you before abandoning you altogether. it was just you, lily, and pandora left. you and pandora had awkward introductions and lily had made a controversial comment, so you didn’t take the disinterest personally. pandora seemed to, however. she left her spot at the table and slipped into james’ old seat, immediately diving into a passionate rant.

lily, always the caring one, entertained her. you tried to pay attention, but her complaints seemed so trivial in comparison to what had transpired in your dorm mere hours ago. snape was wrapping up his conversation, and when he glanced over at you, your eyes were already fixed on his face with burning intensity.

he stalked toward you, the most confident you’d ever seen him, and took the empty seat to your other side. he leered, somehow managing to make himself tower over you even while seated. you glared but didn’t dare speak.

“i believe you have something of mine,” he muttered, watching your face for any revealing expression, so you clenched your jaw.

“do i?”

“you do,” he said cooly. “but, because of my kindness, i won’t be upset with you for stealing my property.”

you ran your tongue across your top row of teeth, fuming. “i don’t know what you want from me, snape, but let me just say-”

“what makes you think i want anything from you?” he raised his eyebrows. “you can keep the book, if you’d like. i’ve read it plenty of times.”

you exhaled gruffly. “i know a threat when i see one, snape. don’t play dumb.” oh, how you wanted to tear him apart like slughorn’s pulled pork.

“threats… threats? it sounds like you’re the one threatening me.” he waved a hand between the two of you and you realized how close in proximity you had become. with each exchange, you’d slowly inched closer to assert dominance. now, you were hovering just in front of his greasy, malevolent face.

snape sneered. “i’d watch what you say, if i were you. see, i just want you to be safe. there are real bad people out there; you never know what might happen to a little girl like you… or a half-breed.”

“keep him out of this,” you spat. “torment me however you want, but you stay out of his damn business, do you understand?”

“are you really so naive?” snape scoffed patronizingly. “you think you’re gonna to protect your filthy half-breed boyfriend with an ultimatum? don’t forget who’s dealing the cards, mudblood.”

you closed your eyes, refusing to let tears fall. snape pulled back, smug, and wandered off into the safety of the slytherin crowd.

you jumped, startled by the feeling of a hand grabbing your forearm. “james? what are you doing?” you hissed.

“what are you doing?” james retorted, narrowing his eyes at you. “i think we need to talk.” 

james tightened his grip on you and pulled you from the room, excusing the both of you to the bathroom. he dragged you down the corridor and out of earshot.

“what the hell is wrong with you?” james flung his arms out and they fell against his sides.

you scowled, crossing your arms. “with me? you’’re the one who forced me out of a party and now you’re yelling at me for no reason!”

“oh, there’s a reason,” james laughed sardonically, “snivelus. what the fuck was that?”

you stared at him in disbelief. “i- i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“why were you talking to snivelus? you were so- is there something going on between you?” james was enraged, pacing the corridor as his face began to flush.

“excuse me?” you screeched. “what the fuck?”

“i don’t bloody know!” james ripped his glasses from his face and rubbed his eyes aggressively. “i thought you and r- merlin, you said he was ‘nice’ during potions and now you’re sitting next to him; talking to him!”

“i can’t believe you’re accusing me of associating with a fucking blood supremacist,” you snarled, storming up to him and jabbing your finger into his chest accusingly. “i’m a muggleborn, if you’ve somehow forgotten! what the fuck is wrong with you, pr- james?”

“you were this close to each other!” he used his fingers to demonstrate. “you- you’re all cozied up to him! you’re fucking intimate with him!”

if you weren’t standing outside a room full of powerful wizards, you would’ve hexed james, right then and there. you settled for shoving him. his chest, hardened and broad from quidditch, barely budged at your force.

“you know what? fuck you, james. stay out of my damn business!”

james didn’t bother following you as you stomped away from him and to the common room, tears finally escaping your eyes. dorcas’ work must’ve been ruined. you wiped your cheeks to find black mascara staining your fingers, and you were sure your lipstick was a mess after so much screaming and anxious biting. you snuck a peek at your reflection in a window. your face was puffy, your eyelids were drooping, and you looked—to put it succinctly—pathetic.

the fat lady pouted at you sympathetically as you slumped through the portrait hole. your tears had long stopped and were now soaking into your skin, pulling your cheeks taunt as the salt dried. you stumbled, catching yourself on the back of a couch just before you were about to collapse. you hadn’t eaten dinner, you’d cried out all the hydration from your body, and on top of that, you were still reeling from not only your argument with james, but snape’s threats and the discovery of his book.

and now you were alone. you were completely and utterly alone, slumped half-concious in an silent common room late at night while your friends were sleeping comfortably or enjoying the lavishness of slughorn’s party.

you had no more water in your system to cry out; instead, you began hiccuping and heaving. your throat was dry and you were sure that this was it, that you would stop breathing and pass out where you stood. what a sad way to go. what a sad, sorry excuse you were for a witch. what a cowardly, useless gryffindor you were, such an unlovable-

“bunny?” remus’ voice was gravelly from sleepiness but laced with concern.

“remus?” you struggled to keep your eyes open, wanting nothing more than to escape into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. “why are you still awake?”

“well, i promised i’d stay up for you, right?” he stumbled down the stairs, his long legs slightly unstable. in a blink, remus was behind you and wrapping you in his arms, burying his nose into your hair and mumbling intelligiblely about what you assumed was meant to be comforting.

he dropped his lips to your ear. “what happened?” he murmured. he seemed to have sobered up; his voice was much clearer than before.

“i don’t- everything, rem,” you whimpered. “i can’t. i can’t.”

he cooed, turning you to face him by the shoulders. his face fell at the sight of you—hair mussed, eyes glistening red, bottom lip tucked between your teeth so harshly he thought for sure you’d hurt yourself. he raised his hand to cup your cheek, but froze midair. “love. love? is it okay if i touch you?”

you nodded silently, wrapping your arms around your waist and fighting the urge to start full-body trembling. your eyes fell closed, and you weren’t sure if you had the energy to open them.

remus’ hand finally came to your cheek, freeing your lip from your teech before nesting itself between your jawline. his thumb rested just below your eye, gently swiping at the remnants of the mascara you’d cried off.

“alright, why don’t we sit down? you’re lookin’ a little shaky there, bun.” he moved his hand from your face and pressed it to the small of your back, guiding you to the couch with his other hand in yours for support. eyes still closed, you stumbled slightly on the edge of the carpet, and he caught you, bringing you closer to him and rubbing your back soothingly. you shivered.

“are you cold?” remus’ forehead creased. without hesitation, he began to peel off his jumper and held it out to you. “here, you need to stay warm.”

“thanks,” you mumbled. in reality, you’d shivered because of remus’ touch. but you weren’t about to turn down his jumper. “can y’help?”

remus took the jumper back, opening it up and pulling it over your head. he even guided your arms into the sleeves, and your mouth twitched upwards at his smell: parchment, something woodsy, and a hint of spice. oh, and chocolate. chocolate?

“would you like chocolate?” remus a bar between you and broke off a piece.

you finally smiled, allowing your eyes to flicker open. “yeah.” you opened your mouth.

remus stared at you quizzically before his eyes widened. in the dimness of the common room, you couldn’t see his reaction, but you felt him turn away from you momentarily. when he returned his attention to you, he exhaled shakily and placed the square of chocolate on your tongue delicately, watching as you took it in your mouth. he gulped.

“thanks, rem.”

“yeah. yeah, anytime. i’m always going to be here for you, y’know that right? i know that you don’t really like talking about… your-”

“my feelings, yeah. i just feel silly. ‘cos you’re going through so much, and so is sirius, and lily too, and i just… i don’t wanna waste your time,” you confessed.

remus took hold of your biceps and swiveled your torso so you were facing him. “you are not a waste of time. it doesn’t matter how big or small—your feelings are important. and you’ve never once said that me or sirius or lily’s feelings are a waste of time, so why do you think that about yourself?”

you sniffed. “i dunno. but now i feel everything, rem. ‘s all there. i feel like i’m gonna vomit. not really, but fuck, it’s so much. it’s so, so much.”

remus hummed, wrapping his arm around the back of your head and bringing your forehead to his chest. you breathed in his cologne once more, feeling his scent wash through your body as if it were cleansing you of the brain fog.

after a stretch of silence, remus spoke. “do you wanna talk about it or just sit here with me?”

“talk.” you didn’t hesitate or fight yourself, and remus just wanted to kiss you; he was so proud.

“alright, i’m listening.”

you couldn’t find it in yourself to make eye contact. instead, you shuffled forward, tucking yourself fully into his chest and wrapping your legs around his back. your arms curled under his and joined themselves at the top of his spine. you felt like a koala, and you were okay with that.

you managed to squeeze out the details of your fight with james. remus’ grip tightened protectively as you explained why james had made his assumption, describing the way snape had gotten so close to you. he stiffened at the word “intimate,” and then you were the one rubbing his back. for the first time, you let yourself pour everything out. you didn’t hold anything back; well, except for the reason snape had confronted you in the first place.

remus’ nose twitched as he tried to regain his composure. he was pissed at james—how dare he accuse you of being intimate with a blood supremacist? you were the kindest, most loyal, boldest, best person he know. remus wasn’t sure if he was more upset with snape or james.

he felt you shake in his arms and began rubbing more warmth into you. he sighed, unable to stop replaying the scene of you and snape and james; each reset was a new stab. “hey.” he tilted your head upwards. “hey, look at me. it’s gonna be okay. everybody argues.”

his words of reassurance seemed to push you further away. “n- no, you don’t understand,” you choked, “i can’t fix this one. i can’t-  rem, i messed up. merlin, i’ve messed up really, really badly and i don’t think i can fix this. i don’t know what’s going on. i don’t know what’s gonna happen. i’m scared. damn it, i’m scared, remus.”

remus clenched and unclenched his jaw. “it’s late, bunny. maybe we should think about this in the morning, when you’ve got some food in ‘ya and a bit of coffee. d’you wanna go back to your room?”

“no please,” you whispered. “can- can you stay with me? just this once. please.”

every shred of remus’ restraint collapsed at your words, and he swept you into your arms and peppered kisses to your hairline. “i’m here, okay? i’m not gonna leave you.” he coaxed you into a laying position, crouching on his knees in front of you so he could brush the hair from your face.

“remus?” you slurred, cracking your eyes open. “will you hold me?”

he pulled his lips into a downward smile; empathetic eyes wandering your body. he curled himself behind you, pulling your back into his chest and lacing his legs between yours, tucking his nose into the crook of your neck. you felt around for his hand, and when you found it, you pulled it over your body and towards your face. remus felt something soft tickle his palm.

kisses. you were kissing him.

“thank you, remus,” you muttered, voice timid.

“always.”

･ﾟ⋆☾*･ﾟ.・。.*゜✭・･ﾟ✫・⋆。.

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[melodramaschild]

𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐛𝐲 𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐛𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

Navigation || age limit || before reading Funeral, read this

Warnings: DEATH, ANGST, Remus in the first two stages of grieving, Remus talks about leaving this world, one character die in the end too, talking about suicide but nothing in details, some scenes are smutty but nothing explicit, also dxs dynamic bcs it was the request but it’s not for the whole story, use of Y/n and reader’s pronouns she/her

Let me know if I forgot anything

Words count: 6 594

Pairing: Remus Lupin x fem!reader

Relationship: lovie dovie

Read me: If you see any mistakes, please let me know. English isn’t my first, not even second, language and reminding me of some mistakes would help a lot. Also, please reblog.

I'm singin' at a funeral tomorrow

For a kid a year older than me

｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

Remus went stone cold, almost like a statue when the question reached his ears. He thought that he was hallucinating. He must be. There was no way that anyone could request that from him.

But as he opened and raised his eyes he was met with the faces of your parents. Their faces in agony pleading him to have a speech at your funeral.

It was a request from your parents. It was a request from everyone. Everyone seemed to be deaf, mute and blind when you were brought up as a topic. Everyone pretend like that situation never happened. Everyone immediately changed the topic just to avoid you.

All of them were too struck by that. All of them avoided the real main lead because their hearts were too weak to be standing there for you.

He was just a boy!

How can you ask a kid to be the main lead on another’s kid funeral?!

“But you were her lover, you should be the one who does it!”

But that wasn’t fair!

And Remus wished he didn’t have to do it, because his throat was caught in barbed wire. It’s only been two weeks and he felt like it was only two minutes without you.

And everytime he thought about what he was supposed to do for you, he felt like he was going to die and see you.

But of course he was going to do it. In the name of you and in the name of you.

And I've been talkin' to his dad, it makes me so sad

Your father begged him, the thick mountain of rudeness and shouting and love begging your tall boy to speak. Your father used to scream a lot. He used to fight with you all the time. He always had something to say but something deep inside him died when you left.

It wasn’t fair.

He didn’t have enough time to apologise. He didn’t have enough time to knock on your door and give you your favourite ice-cream. He didn’t have enough time to hug you for the last time and tell you how much he loved you.

Time was a cruel wizard in this world.

Time was a disease.

Time took you away from him like you belong to death since you were born.

Time gave him his punishment to live in blaming himself. Time was a disease.

Time was a killer.

When the funeral speech was mentioned, your father was lost of words.

Like his ability to form words went lost with your life too.

It broke Remus’ heart to see your father on his knees and grasping onto him and begging him over and over again to speak for you, to be his voice he lost.

That night was the first night your father cried that much, it was the first night that Remus held your father in his arms while he sobbed too.

Your father hasn't spoken since then.

Your father hasn’t smiled since that. He wasn’t speaking with anyone. Not even with your cat. Nothing, just a deadly silence because what was the point of words if they couldn’t reach you?

When I think too much about it, I can't breathe

Remus was choking on his sobs, the endless loop of memories with you haunted him. Endless fake scenarios with you haunted him. Endless imagining that you were still in his arms haunted him.

Every time he woke up, he swore that for the first five minutes, you were on your side of the bed, still bundled up beneath the duvet and smiling at his sleepy, groggy face. He still could feel your hand reaching out and ruffling his sandy hair.

He still could feel the warmth from your body, he still could smell your scent and hear your soft breaths. He still felt your warmth breathing trashing on his skin.

He still felt your skin underneath his fingers and the visible lines of your tattoos. God, he loved your tattoos. He loved how your eyes got all shiny and sparkly when you gasped out “I’m going to get this as my next tattoo!” on a random evening on a random day. He loved when you asked for help where to put it because it always ended up with him kissing that spot.

And right next to that. And a little bit on the left too. And all over the spot and all over around until you were whimpering under him and begging him for more than kisses.

How he held your hand as you jumped around him and how you excitedly bambled about the tattoo. You were like a kid that was promised a sweet treat and he loved how lovely and passionated you always got before your tattoos.

“So see you in two hours?” Remus smirked down at you, pulling you closer for a quick peck on your sweet cheek. “Yeah, yeah, of course!” You were already somewhere else with your mind. “Hey,” Remus pulled you closer again. “Look at me.” he softly said, cupping your cheeks in his warm palms. Your eyes locked with his, he was warm and felt welcoming and… patient.

“Have fun there, don’t forget to take breaks if you need them and say hi to Rafi from me.” he pecked your forehead once again. He earned a soft laugh from you and your hug. “Don’t worry, I will, I will, lover boy.” you assured him. “And you!” you poked his chest while you looked up. “You will be careful on your leg and you will tell boys not to run around with you or I will beat them.”

Remus laughed, “Of course, you will.”

“Please,” you brushed your hand slightly over his hip, just where he was damaged the most. “Be careful, Lupin.” With a raised eyebrow in a warning manner, your hand moved to his, to his scarred hand on the support cane, squeezing a bit, just to let him know that you’re deadly serious about your statement.

“Of course I will, darling love.” he reassured you and wriggled with his hips a bit, proving to you that he was still able to act like a teenager.

“You went to get a tattoo without me?! Such a betray!” Sirius gasped when you showed them your new sternum tattoo. Remus only proudly smirked at all of them, his smirk telling, maybe even screaming “That’s my brave sexy girl.”

Sirius dramatically threw his hand on his forehead and pretended to faint while falling down onto Peter’s open arms.

“Well maybe if you weren’t such a pussy.” You teased with a chuckle and sat down on the side of the armchair where Remus was smirking from.

Sometimes he hated how you refused to sit in his lap since that injury. But both of you knew that it would hurt him. And yet, he loved how you automatically and immediately knew not to sit in his lap anymore because it would hurt.

Sometimes he even felt guilty for that injury. He just wanted to have you in his lap for one more time.

But he got paid off when one of your legs tangled between his spreaded thighs. And how he could place his hand on your inner thigh and comfortingly stroke your skin over there and how he could lay down his head onto your plush soft thigh and how you played with his hair while your other arm was wrapped around his shoulder.

He felt a bit spoiled by your touch like that. And he was loving every second of it.

He missed your kisses. Your soft lips leaving coloured kisses on his injured hip, right around and on his scar that was lingering across his hip.

He missed how you always looked up at him and started planting even more kisses.

“I will never wash my hip.” He joked one summer night. “That’s disgusting.” You mumbled onto his skin. “But I approve of that.” You carefully laid your head on his naked hip, right on your kisses. You looked at him with your sweet and honest smile, there was a pure admiration in your eyes.

And in his mind he created a plan of getting one of your dark red kisses tattooed just right there. Something like your personal signature.

But all of it was just memories and fake scenarios. None of it was real anymore.

Just an endless loop of memories with you that haunted him. Endless fake scenarios with you haunted him. Endless imagining that you were still in his arms haunted him.

And I have this dream where I'm screamin' underwater

While my friends are wavin' from the shore

They dressed in white sheets and ran into his dreams every bloody night just to remind him that you were not there anymore. Just to remind him what a goner he was without his girl.

That now you were a ghost too.

He hoped that you’d come back and you’d be ghosting in his house. Maybe move with his things and make a whole chaos in an apartment that was once his and yours.

God, he even thought about it. You being a ghost. After that he let the dust settle on the floor, on his bed, on every surface in that apartment so he could see your tracks as you walked by.

But it never happened. No tracks from you and the more dust collected, the more he was losing his hope.

But hope was a danger thing for a man like him to have, and he had it.

And I don't need you to tell me what that means

I don't believe in that stuff anymore

But it was just a dream, afterall. You weren’t coming back. Not any time soon or later. You left forever and he was still there. Dust collected on his sandy hair, in his apartment, in his bed. Just right where you left him and he was naively hoping that you would open the door and come back into bed and lean to his warm chest again like nothing happened.

Like you always used to after a long day. Maybe you would give him wild flowers again, maybe you would kiss his collarbone again.

Maybe he would feel you again.

But he was just a naive boy and you were just a dead girl and now he was haunted by memories of a girl who believed that all dreams had meanings and that kept him up at night.

“That’s such a silly dream.” he chuckled and swayed his head to move his locks away from his eyes. You laughed at him and tracked your fingers over his scar on his chest, your chest rapidly rising and falling as you laughed.

“You’re silly,” you said, moving your hand to his soft hair, twirling them between your tender fingers. His hands moved to your hip, pulling you closer to his chest under the duvet. “I’m silly?” He raised his eyebrow at you, immediately regretting that as a new wound stinked there. “Well, you say that.” you shrugged and placed a tiny kiss to the tip of his nose, giving him a little trade for the pain in his eyebrow. Remus smiled, his ears turning red just like everytime you kissed him.

“Come ‘ere.” you said and pulled you closer, his lips finally meeting yours.

Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time

And that's just how I feel

God, he wished he could come back to that morning and kiss you more and longer and hold you so tightly that you would become a one person.

Always have and I always will

I always have and always will

Is it ever gonna get better?

I have a friend I call

When I've bored myself to tears

And we talk until we think we might just kill ourselves

“…and do you remember when you didn’t see each other for weeks and then she ran to you, tripped over and literally splashed all over the pavement.” Sirius took the bottle of fire whiskey from a very drunk Remus, both of them were laughing so hard that they moved from the sofa to the wooden floor.

“Indeed, I do remember that, what a memory to cherish.” Remus was laughing, but his smile quickly faded away. Sirius noticed, he quickly swallowed the shot of fire whiskey and waited for his friend’s next move.

He knew better than to push, especially on Remus.

Remus played that memory of you and you falling over and over again in his head. How you were laughing at yourself and then crying in his arms because you missed him so much. And how he walked you to the emergency room because your palms were too bloody for his liking. And how he had to sit with you on the hospital bed because you were too scared to be on your own. And how he let you bite into his own palm to ease your fear and pain.

“Mate…” his voice broke at the end, tears swelled in his eyes trying not to break the barriers. “I can’t be here without her.” he whispered, too scared that if he spoke out loud that ghost of his could hear him and visit him again and stay for a longer time.

“No, don’t say that, please.” Sirius whispered, his face dropping down and tears bringing into his own eyes way too quickly.

“You don’t understand.” Remus’ face twisted in abnormal pain, in agony. “I miss her. I miss her so much that I can’t breathe.” he choked on a sob and Sirius crawled to him. Remus brought his knees to his chest and hid his face in them, uncontrollably bawling his eyes out and choking on sobs that left him.

“Hey, hey, Remus,” Sirius said, firmly. He pried Remus’ head from his knees and was met with a boy who was covered in tears and saliva, his lips trembling and he was sure that Remus doesn’t look like a mess for the first time.

“I don’t want to be here anymore without her. I miss her. So, so, so much.” Remus dug his nails into his trousers and his breath kept hitching. Almost like he was fighting with himself to keep breathing or give up.

“I just… my heart is aching and longing for her.” His tears ran down his face. “I miss her, I’m so hungry for her presence and now she’s gone and now I’m starving to death.”

Sirius only kept looking into his eyes, into his that looked like a flood in the forest. And that’s when he caught a glimpse of you, a tiny dancer in the reflection of his eyes.

“I miss my girl, I miss my lover so much that I would rather experience a full moon everyday if that meant that she would be back in my arms.” his breathing was heavy, every breath was hurting him, every breath was a suffering for him, every breath was just a ridicule that he was still alive.

Every breath he took reminded him of how long you were gone. How long he was there without you.

“What am I supposed to do without her? I just want to leave this world so I can hold my girl once again. I loved her more than anything.”

And that night Sirius didn’t leave his side. For the rest of the night none of them was talking. Sirius stayed by his side all night long, he knew that Remus was a man of his words and he didn’t want to lose another friend.

He knew that Remus would do it.

And he didn’t leave days after that. He shifted into Padfoot when he saw that Remus was too overwhelmed by another human being, he made sure that Remus ate. He also washed the vomit from the floor when Remus’ body screamed at him that it can't cry anymore.

And he also made sure that he, as himself, will neve get, even one centimeter, close to your side of the bed. Remus was letting that side ruffled, just like you left it. And Remus made sure that he never rolled over to your side. Sirius was sure that Remus was in a denial. Remus still naively believed that you would come back and scold him for not tidying the bed sheets or for not letting in the fresh air. But you never did.

And Sirius understood.

Although he wasn’t sure how long the denial stage was supposed to be, he understood.

Of course that Remus would be in denial for at least a little while, what about the plans you made?

But then we laugh until it disappears

There was no laughing after that.

For a very, very long time. Jokes just stopped being funny since he couldn’t share them with you.

Once upon a time you were his everything and he told you everything so what was the point of even… damn, what was the point of being if it was without you?

And last night I blacked out in my car

And I woke up in my childhood bed

It was a very hard and long night. He drove from London to Yorkshire. He drove the whole night. He needed to get away from the apartment.

He needed to get away from your ghost. He needed to get away From memories of you.

Everything was reminding him of you. The way your bed side was still ruffled. The way your makeup was still messed up in front of the mirror. The way your book was still broken open and waiting for you to continue reading another words.

The way the dust kept collecting and you weren’t still there. The way his memories became ghosts every night again and again and the way that every memory turned into the hour he had to identify your body on the iron cold table of the morgue.

The way he looked at you, your body, but he saw nothing.

It was you on the cold table, it was literally you. But… not you.

He needed to run away.

And that’s how he found himself in Yorkshire, on a drive in front of his parents’ house. In front of his childhood house. It was late at night and he couldn’t bring himself to do anything. So he just stayed there, sitting in the car until a darkness swallowed him whole.

And after that, he was the happiest person again. Suddenly he was back with you. He was back in that night where you both decided to do something sweet and silly again.

“Just… Just make sure you won’t have to bend for anything, princess.” he chuckled as he helped you to twirl in your silky dress. Your fingers held onto his as you turned around, looking at yourself in the mirror. You bursted into a giggle and faced him, your hands coming down to rest on his chest. “I look that much good?” You looked up at him and his rosy scarred cheeks. His hand wandered on your body, from your hip to your shoulder and then cupped your sweet cheek.

“Good?” He raised his eyebrow at you. He sat down on the bed behind his back with the help of his cane and his hands dropped back to your hips, pulling you closer a bit. “My pretty girl,” he whispered so quietly that you almost missed it. “You look absolutely ravish. I’m pretty sure that my heart stopped beating the first time I saw you in this dress.” he halfway joked and brought you into a warm smile again.

“My beautiful, beautiful Y/n/n.” he whispered and tucked his head into your stomach pudge, leaving a soft kiss there. “My beautiful, beautiful Remmy.” you repeated his words to him and buried your fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp as he hummed in comfort.

And he truly was pretty. The black suit with black shirt adored his lanky body. He looked beautiful in every suit, especially in his working ones. But they were all comfy and brown and warm colours, but this all black one? It was something new that you craved to explore.

He placed another kiss on your tummy, saying thank you in his own way.

“My beautiful, beautiful princess,” he looked up, something switched in his eyes, a smirk playing across his voice as he stood up with the support of your body and his lanky fingers wrapping around the head of his cane.

With a new cane. Sirius customised this one especially for him and this special occasion. Tall enough for his comfort, with the most black and elegant wood in wizarding and muggle world. A silver coloured wolf adored the front to match your dress. There was also a New Moon burned into the wood, portraying his favourite and the most safe phrase of the moon.

You knew what was up when he called you a princess. “Don’t bend in this pretty dress.” He looked down at you, holding your chin between his fingers as your eyes stayed on his. Mischievous sparkles flashing in your eyes as you bit your lip.

“Or what?” you pushed, raising your eyebrow at him and his stupid smirk. “Well,” he pretended to think. “Then you’ll make lots of people happy, but…” his hands roamed down your body, stopping at the flesh of your bottom. He squeezed your butt slightly, making you jump towards his chest once more.

“I’m just a selfish man and I want you to only make me happy tonight.” his voice faded into a whisper that was getting lost against your coloured lips. He left the tiniest kiss on your lips. “Mhm, such a selfish man.” you chuckled and left a dark red kiss mark on his rosy cheeks.

“You’re so pretty, pretty boy.” you whispered and wrapped your arms around him.

Remus was truly the most adorable man. He wasn’t scared of getting blushed and taken aback by your flirty persona when he was supposed to be the one in a charge. He loved when you saw what impact you had on him. He loved when you knew how much lovesick he was for you.

Soft jazz playing through the big ball room, oh so softly that it almost made you fall asleep on Sirius’ shoulder. “Hey,” he poked your side and a sleepily grumbled. Sirius chuckled, swallowed down his champagne and it tickled in your throat. “Don’t sleep on me like that.” He nudged your side with his elbow and you rolled your eyes. “You’re irreplaceably chatty today.” you sarcastically pointed out, your eyes wandering around the room, around all those people who were dressed in the most prettiest dress.

“Well so are you, sleeping lady.” Sirius chuckled. Your smile made its own way to your pretty face, sleep quickly disappeared from your hazy mind.

“Did you see Remmy somewhere?” You asked Sirius, stepping from one foot to another as your eyes scanned the room. “Well,” Sirius poured himself another glass of champagne. “If I were you, I definitely wouldn’t be looking towards a bar where Remus is with Dorcas.” Sirius was a bit suspicious that this might be some power imbalance game tonight, and your vicious grin only confirmed that.

You looked in that direction and saw your handsome Remus with breathtaking Dorcas.

Remus was probably showing her his new cane because he was wiggling and turning it all around and Dorcas kept nodding her head in approval.

Her dark skin was covered in a golden gleam, matching those golden gems in her locks. She even used a gold lip gloss on her lips. She looked like a goddess.

Dorcas was always gorgeous, always pretty and… breathtaking. And you made sure that she always knew about it. You always made sure that your friends knew about how pretty they were.

Dorcas’ eyes locked with yours and she sent you the brightness smile and wave and you paid her back with the same.

Then your eyes locked with Remus’, an amused smirk played on his face and you knew. “Siri,” you placed your hand on his shoulder and moved your body in front of him. Sirius kept his eyes on you, carefully. He raised his eyebrow at you, daring you to continue. “Do you want to be my partner in crime?” you asked him, your eyes still locked with Remus who was turning his gaze back at you every other second.

“I thought that I already am.” he scoffed, sounding a bit offended and to add to it, he even pouted at you.

You giggled and placed your hand on his bicep, squeezing the flesh underneath your palm a bit. “Is that a yes?”

“Definitely yes.” A devilish smirk spread over his face.

“Drop your hanky.” you nodded towards his breast pocket square. Sirius without a blink took his tissue, looking straight forward to Remus, making sure that he was watching both of you.

Sirius held the tissue right in front of him, his eyes burning into Remus.

You turned around once more to tease Remus Lupin with your eyes once more.

Then both of you had Remus’ full attention, his hazel warm eyes carefully observing both of you. Remus wasn’t dumb, he knew exactly what you both were up to. Sirius blew him a light kiss, earning an eye roll from the lanky boy.

He took a deep breath in, giving an amused smile as he gave you ‘Go ahead, princess, see what happens.’ look from across the room full of people.

And you nodded toward Sirius and he, without even a single blink and dropped his tissue on the marble floor. His fingers curled around your forearm, supporting you so you wouldn’t fall down.

You bend down way more than was necessary. And the fact that it was a sleek dress, green sleek dress, Remus’ favourite colour and Remus’ favourite butt, wasn’t really helping.

Remus choked on his saliva and started coughing, making Dorcas worry. Apparently your bum looked way better under this fancy lighting in this fancy large room.

Dorcas wanted to pat his back but then she noticed his gaze and understood. With a small giggle leaving her throat she sipped on her cocktail, admiring the same view as Remus’ had, respectfully.

“You’re in big trouble, young lady.” Sirius remarked as you raised yourself, your second hand sliding down over your back to the curve of your bum. “Definitely worthy.” you hummed and turned around, just to be met with Remus who was almost sprinting to you.

“Whops, a big scary wolf is about to eat you.”

Sirius sassed.

“Well, I hope so.”

“Merlin, Y/n!” Sirius gasped when he realised what you meant by that.

“A big trouble?” You laughed against his lips as he fell into a bed with him above you. “Mhm,” Remus hummed, his lips ghosting over your neck and his hot breath ghosting over your skin, giving you soft goosebumps.

“A big, big, big trouble for a little princess.” He raised his eyes to stare into your eyes but he couldn’t help but hurt into a laugh with you. His hand found yours and he intertwined his long fingers with yours, locking them firmly in place.

His laughter reasoned through his chest and his head fell onto your naked breasts, his loosen curls were soft on your skin and you brought your hand to brush through them.

“What are you going to do with me then?” You tugged on his hair and raised his head closer to you. He went with your tug, until his lips ghosted above yours. Oh so close, yet so far.

You could feel the softness of his lips on yours. How they were there for a second and then gone.

And it felt so twisted because everytime he closed his eyes, you were there with him and everytime he opened them, you were gone.

“I’m goin’ to make remember that you belong to me,” he breathed out against your lips. He connected your lips with yours. Kissing you all over your lip. Kissing you hungrily, kissing you passionately and kissing you desperately. “Only to me.” He brought your hands above your head and pinned them into the soft pillow. His clothed crotch started to slowly rocking into your core that was covered with your underwear, sending electrical shivers through your veins. “And I belong to you.”

Before anything could be heated, his eyes flew open. Heart picking up its heartbeat like he just ran a marathon. There was also a dull pain in his head. More likely in his brain like if memories were trying to jump from his brain to set him free from the endless spiral of remembering you.

“Remmy?” some woman’s voice called. There was a very thick Welsh accent in her gentle, caring and quiet voice.

He knew this voice, that was the voice who sang to him every time he was struggling with himself, every time his body was too weak to carry itself after a Full Moon since he was a kid.

“Mam?” He called out, very confused and as if this wasn’t true and he was just becoming a truly loony Lupin.

“Hi there, lovebug.” Hope carefully leaned against the doorframe as she was observing over her son who looked devastated. Hair messy, aggressive eye bags under his pretty eyes and his face looked like a crumpled paper. There was even a spit drooling from his mouth. She was pretty sure that this was the closest she saw him that devastated after his attack when he was just a kid.

Hope carefully creeped closer and closer, so carefully that you could hear a pin drop. She sat next to him on the bed. On the same bed sheets which you were tucked in once. After you left, she knew better than to change them.

“It still smells like her,” Remus whispered like he knew what his mother thought about. He grasped on the flowery duvet that you once gifted him. His breathing became shallow, the crippling agony running over his body once again. Memories crossing his mind again and realising hitting him like it’s the first time he saw your lifeless body.

“It still smells- smells like her,” A hiccup escaped him as he choked on a sob and on the painful lump inside his throat. “but she’s-she’s gone.” He cried out and Hope didn’t wait for anything and hugged his son, pulling him closer to her until she felt like she could protect him again.

But everything was just a naive feeling because she was never able to protect him, only to be there for him. And sometimes that’s enough.

Remus uncontrollably wailed into her shoulder, his whole body heavy with tears and grief.

He wished he could stop this pain, this feeling that was surrounding him. This feeling that felt like a wild water swallowing him whole, like the bottom of the ocean was calling for him. He felt like he was paralysed in this endless loop of agony.

If Remus was able to feel, he would feel his father's strong arms wrapping around his back and reassuring him. But the agony was stronger than his parents and all he was able to do was to cry until he passed out in his parents’ arms.

Wishin' I was someone else, feelin' sorry for myself

When I remembered someone's kid is dead

Remus shifted in his seat. The armchair was way too uncomfortable, the air felt too heavy and his jumper felt too itchy.

Remus’ chest felt too heavy, maybe like there was a heavy stone on him. He wished he could tell you about it so you would rub slow circles over his chest and place a soft kiss while you would silently ask “Better, darling?”.

He wished he was gone. Maybe someone else too so he wouldn’t have to sit there. Maybe someone who lived in Scotland took care of the lighthouse and baked cinnamon rolls just for their pleasure.

But unfortunately this wasn’t happening. There was still a heavy stone on his chest and instead of looking at you he had to look at your parents.

Your father was looking somewhere on the carpet, hands clasped together and his face was washed with… guilt. Remus swore that this man aged 20 years in 2 weeks.

Deep dark eye bags under his empty eyes, wrinkles all over his face more than usually. Remus' stomach twisted in negative emotions that he wasn’t able to describe. He felt he was going to throw up, cry, scream or maybe even faint.

“Carry to help me with tea, Remus?” Your mother asked as she sensed the tense in the air. Remus quickly stood up, accidentally bumping into the coffee table. Your father didn’t even say anything to that like he always used to.

Remus quickly disappeared in the kitchen with your mother. He leaned against the kitchen counter and nervously played with his thumbs. He felt he should have said something. Maybe ask how they were doing but he felt he was going to know the answer.

Hell, how are the dead child’s parents doing?

Remus felt stupid. You were his girlfriend but hell… you were their child. Someone they created, someone they watched grow. Someone who they held when she had smallpox. Someone who they taught how to walk, talk, write, listen… how to be kind.

Remus eyed the photos of you on the wall in front of him. Watching you from kid to adult. Watching how small tiny little Y/n/n sat in the sink because the bathtub broke and she ate soap foam.

He knew the story because you told him that when you bathed Padfoot because his dog form needed it. He took a picture of you two and now it was on his own wall in the kitchen.

Remus suddenly felt like he meant nothing to you because he wasn’t that long in your life and he felt like he gave you nothing.

“Are you alright?” Your mother turned to face him. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

Something like that, very close.

“Just feel a bit nauseous.” Remus admitted with a polite smile. Your mother smiled back. “So a black tea for you then.” she said and Remus nodded his head in agreement.

Fuck, this shit was so fucked up.

Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time

And that's just how I feel

Remus stayed in denial. I don’t think he ever left the denial or that he ever will. Being stuck in denial was the only opportunity to picture you. To see you. To talk to you.

Being in denial gave him the hope that maybe he’ll see you in his dreams. Will you be a ghost under the white sheet again? Will you be in his arms? Will all those heartwarming memories play again in his head?

He never knew, and the lust for knowing that and wanting to see you was the only thing that kept him alive.

Always have and I always will

I always have and always will

It’s been months since you died and he still didn’t make your side of the bed. The makeup kept being messed up in front of the mirror. The book was still laid on your nightstand table.

Sirius kept watching over him. He kept daily visiting his apartment. Sirius proved that he in reality is loyal as a dog.

He swept the floor, washed the dishes and even learned how to cook just for Remus. The food always ended up untouched until Sirius fed him like a toddler. He never dared to clean your things from the last day you were alive, he never dared to walk over your side of the bed.

“C’mon big boy, it's time to take a bath.” Sirius urged as he grabbed Remus like he weighed nothing from his bed. Remus only groaned and let his body sway.

Sirius carefully untangled knots in Remus’ suddenly longer hair. He even brought some of his products.

“Can you,” Remus spoke for the first time in a few days. “Yeah?” Sirius hummed. “Can you please use that when you wash my hair?” He asked and pointed at your shampoo and conditioner. Sirius felt the sadness washing over him. “Yeah, of course we can.” he agreed afterall. “We can use more of that stuff if you want.” He carefully talked on that topic. Suddenly it wasn’t your stuff but it was that stuff. Remus felt like if he ever pronounced your name again, he would break down.

He knew that he would be able to tell your name again one day. But not today.

Sirius washed Remus’ hair with your shampoo and conditioner. He used one of your hair masks too. Then Remus sat dressed in your bathrobe in front of the big mirror as Sirius did his skincare with your products. He trimmed his eyebrows while Remus kept threatening him with “Ow, stop that you, twat!” and Sirius kept laughing.

When he plucked one of his long hairs, Remus firmly grasped his wrist. “I’m not being funny, stop with that.”

“Yeah right.” Sirius laughed and plucked that hair out, enjoying Remus’ painfully twisted face.

Sirius didn’t say anything about it that day but he was really happy that he made Remus smile. Just for a bit. It was really pleasant to hear that boy laugh again.

And it's 4 AM again

And Remus felt he was going to become some crazy person. Like he was going to lose his mind. He felt like he was in some sick nightmare.

Writing another funeral speech?

He was losing his mind.

And I'm doin' nothing

Again

Remus was stuck in denial for almost five years. He never stopped imagining you or talking to you. After five years he took polaroid pictures of your toilet table and of your messy makeup accessories. He took a picture of your book that was cracked open in the armchair. He took a picture of everything that you left behind.

He carefully took everything in his hands, scared that it all might turn into dust and placed everything into a paper box. He will get you a proper box soon. Maybe some wooden one with pretty satin fabric in it. But for now, he kept safe and close to him.

Your father died four months after you.

Police inspectors said that it was a car accident but Remus and your mother knew better.

No one was blaming him. They both wanted to do the same and both of them hugged each other with “Hope that he’s saying our hellos to her up there.”

Your mother sold that house where you grew up and moved closer to the Aegean sea. The sun really helped her with her grieving and the people and cats she met in Greece too.

She kept in touch with Marauders for the rest of her life and Harry never called her by a different name than “Sea granma.” always missing the d letter.

Yet, her heart still ached when she saw Remus wandering around her house and stopping to look at the pictures of you and your father.

But that was okay, sometimes time wasn’t the only one who was cruel, sometimes life was cruel too and all what they had to do was to accept it.

#robie's funeral #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x reader angst #remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin x reader smut #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x you fluff #remus lupin x you angst #remus lupin x you smut #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x y/n angst #remus lupin x y/n fluff #remus lupin x y/n smut #remus lupin fanfiction #marauders fanfiction #harry potter fic

[strawberrysodaslut]

Hiiii, can I request sub reader asking Dom Remus ( it can be poly marauders too) how it is to be a Dom

Love your blog and the way you write

Thanks 💕💕

What’s it like? - Remus Lupin x GN!Reader

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[ remus lupin masterlist ]

[ main masterlist ]

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summary: you want to know what it’s like to be a dom, who better to ask than your boyfriend, Remus

warnings: sexual themes, 18+ mdni, dom!remus, sub!reader, im pretty sure i didn’t mention readers gender, indications of sex afterwards but no smut scene.

a/n: hi! thank you so much for your kind words! i didn’t know much about what it’s like being a dom and i didn’t wanna just guess so i did a little research. It’s quite a short little blurb but I hope it does your request justice <3

taglist: @mischieftom

join taglist

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You used to hate rainy days. Although you loved rainy nights, often being soothed to sleep by the sounds of the wet raindrops hitting the windows, rainy days were not for you.

That was until you met Remus.

He was a warm person, not just in his personality, but he was a literal space heater. You’d spend the majority of the rainy day cuddled up in his arms, enjoying the peaceful sounds of the rain.

That’s where you were right now, as the question popped into your head.

“Remmy?” You say. He hums, brushing his hands through your hair, softly playing with it. “Can I ask you a question?” You ask.

He presses a kiss to your temple, “Of course, baby,”

You sigh, the slight anxiety and awkwardness of your question washing away with his kind touches, “What’s it like being a dom? Like, what do you like about it?”

You can feel his smile behind you, he huffs a laugh, “Why’d you ask?” He asks, quickly tensing up, “Are you not comfortable with it?”

His question has you quickly shaking your head, “No, no, I love it. I just wanted to know what it’s like.” You say, rubbing the arm that’s wrapped around you to soothe him.

He relaxes in your touch, giving a big sigh. “It’s- uh…” he chuckles, “there’s a couple of things I guess…”

You hum, “So tell me all of them- unless you’re not comfortable.” You say, reassuring him that this is a safe place.

He sighs, “I’m completely comfortable talking about this stuff you love,” He presses a kiss to your cheek “Just wanted to make sure you’re okay with hearing my rambles.”

“Always” You reply.

He takes a big sigh, “I guess, the main reason why I like it, you know how i’m a bit of a control freak, yeah?” You laugh, knowing exactly what he’s talking about.

“Yeah you do. Well, I feel like I don’t have that much control in my life, y’know, with the whole wolf thing.” You can feel him start to tense, so you make sure to press a kiss to his arm.

He continues, “Its just nice to have that control, to be able to make decisions when a lot of the ones for my life have been taken away.” He sighs, his arms getting a bit tighter around you, trying to pull you closer.

“But also…” He continues, “it’s about trust, seeing how you trust me with anything, trusting me to stop if you’re not comfortable, letting me have that control- it’s hot as fuck.”

You giggle, “Yeah?” you say, teasing your boyfriend.

He nods, “And seeing how needy you get.” He blows a breath, “begging for me to touch you, writhing when I do, going into a whole damn subspace because of how good I fuck you- it feels fucking incredible.”

You smile, and he turns you around to face him. “Does that make sense?” He asks.

You nod, “Yeah, I feel like the idea is still so daunting though.”

He laughs, pulling your chest into his, pressing his forhead against yours. “It does get like that sometimes. Sometimes I feel like a fucking idiot trying to get you to do all these things.”

You furrow your brows, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Why would he feel like an idiot?

“But, when I see how you respond, how happy you are to do all of this shit, I know I’m in the right place, and I can go loose around you.” He says, planting a chaste kiss on your lips, “You make me feel safe.” He says.

You grip the neckline of his sweatshirt, pulling him into a long kiss. He immediately reciprocates, carding your hands though his hair. The two of you sit there for a bit, lazily making out with eachother.

He pulls back, “Should we have a demonstration?” He asks, bumping his nose into yours.

You nod, giggling as he picks you up and carried you to his dorm.

With Remus, rainy days are your favourite.

#marauders #marauders era #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin smut #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin x reader angst #remus lupin x reader smut #remus lupin x y/n fluff #remus lupin x y/n angst #remus lupin x y/n smut #remus lupin x you fluff #remus lupin x you angst #remus lupin x you smut #marauders fluff #marauders imagine #marauders angst #marauders era fanfic #marauders x reader

[ellecdc]

Hi gorggg can i request an angst wolfstar fic where reader is kind of insecure of her placement within their relationship? like they’re both so close already and she’s a new addition so she kinda just feels out of place.

thank you for your amazing writing!! doing the world a favor❤️❤️❤️

Hey babes! Thanks SO much for the request 'cause truly, this is my shit. Now, I have to admit that I'm obsessed with these fics that have the same vibe by moonstruckme (poly!marauders) and super-clearlysaltybouquet (poly!wolfstar), so really, they're the blueprints/inspiration for this piece

also...I'm a whore for hurt/comfort. But you asked for ANGST...so I've given you only angst and no comfort. If you want comfort, you'll have to ask for a part two 💖 hope you love it!!! UPDATE: part two is here.

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

CW: insecurities in relationship, feeling out of place, angst, hurt no comfort

It felt silly, really, to feel as sad as you did. You were currently sitting with two boys who you’ve been basically in love with for so long - two boys who have proclaimed to feel the same way about you - and on the outside you were sure this looked like a really lovely moment.

It just didn’t feel very lovely. 

You didn’t think your discontentedness stemmed from anything the boys had done in particular, but even seeing the way they instinctively leaned closer to one another when anyone else approached the three of you left you feeling like an outsider looking in.

Maybe you were overthinking things. Maybe this was just your insecurities showing.

Or maybe…maybe…the three of you had made a mistake.

Maybe you weren’t cut out for polyamory; it certainly wasn’t for the weak, and it certainly wasn’t easy being the newest addition to the relationship. 

You felt lost in most conversations, missing key information that inside jokes, years of friendship, and living together in the same tower - the same dorm room – led to. It felt as though they were fluent in a language you were only starting to pick up, and you didn’t want them to have to slow down for your sake. You didn’t want one of them to have to play the role of translator just for your benefit. 

But then, why were you here?

You weren’t calm, relaxed, and witty like Remus. And you weren’t funny, exciting, and energetic like Sirius. They seemed to already balance each other out perfectly; maybe that’s why it felt so easy to fall into the role of a background character in your own relationship.

There was a brief ‘honeymoon’ period to your relationship; a time of public proclamations, handholding and PDA, dates, and spending every moment the three of you could together.

It was exciting.

And then it was less exciting – not to you, never to you - but it seemed to be that way for them.

Suddenly, it was dates and then them returning to their dorm – back home – without you. It was silent conversations with nothing but a look between the two of them that didn’t include you in the slightest. It was professors announcing partner projects, and them pairing together immediately which was fine, you told yourself, because you always partnered with Shelby anyway and that’s the way it had always been before.

Before. 

This is the way it had always been before. 

So, what were you doing here, exactly? What were you doing sitting on a blanket near the Black Lake with a book in your hand, while Sirius’ hand gripped around your ankle gently as Remus played with Sirius’ hair from where his head was laying in his lap, whilst Sirius and Remus talked about pranks, something funny that James said, and setting Peter up with some Hufflepuff girl? 

You could tell you were being insecure… that you were overthinking this. You could tell you were being unreasonable because every so often, Sirius’ hand wouldn’t just be resting around your ankle, but he would squeeze it gently or rub his thumb across your Achilles tendon as if to convince himself that you were still here; still real. And every so often, Remus would move his gaze from where it laid on his own book or away from Sirius whom he was speaking with to look at you… check on you… confirm you were still there; still okay. 

They cared. They had to, right? Cared that you were here? They wouldn’t have asked you otherwise, surely. They wouldn’t be making the effort to keep a hand on you, or their eyes on you. Surely, they would never have decided to open their relationship to include you in it.

But there it was…the truth.

It was their relationship. And they’d opened it up for you.

It should be the second part of that sentence that spoke to you the most, but in your mind and insecurities, the second seemed like the whole truth. 

This was their relationship.

You shouldn’t be here.

“You still with us, dove?” Remus asked gently, distracting you from your musings. You suddenly realized that your book you were holding had fallen limply into your lap and you were staring unseeingly at the Black Lake. The boys had apparently paused their conversation to look at you, and Sirius’ thumb continued its tender caressing of the soft of your joint.

“Yeah.” You said, but it came out scratchy. You cleared your throat and tried again. “Yeah, sorry, I must have zoned out for a second.”

Sirius wiggled your ankle. “Daydreaming again, huh? About us I bet.” He teased with a wink. 

You wiggled your ankle back at him as he leaned his head up from Remus’ lap, lips puckered in an ask (a demand) for a kiss.

This may be fleeting, so who were you to deny him?

You leaned forward on one hand, the other still holding your book, and pressed a kiss to the black-haired boy’s lips. He smiled into it and let you go all too willingly as you leaned back and tried to focus on your book. 

The air around you began to feel heavy before the sound of distant thunder permeated your hearing.

“Damn, I guess Scottish weather isn’t very reliable, hm?” Remus said as he began packing up his things.

“It’s too bad.” Sirius murmured as he began to stand. “I was having a nice time out here with you two.”

You smiled back at him as he extended a hand to help you up.

“We’re still on for a study date tomorrow after dinner, right?” He asked you when you were at your full height.

“Yeah, sure. If you guys will have me.” You responded shyly, hating that you even hinted at any of your insecurities.

Sirius scoffed in response, but it was Remus who answered. “’Course we do, dove. We’re looking forward to it.”

You felt like you should be a little embarrassed at the way your heart fluttered hopefully at the sentiment, but you focused instead on Sirius’ smile and Remus’ soft eyes as the three of you made your way back to the castle. 

You hadn’t seen the boys at all today. You unfortunately slept through your alarm, making you miss breakfast completely; generally, you’d sit with Sirius, Remus, and their friends at the Gryffindor table. The two of them were no shows for lunch, so you opted to sit with Shelby instead. And it was Friday, and on Friday’s you didn’t share any classes with them, meaning by the time you made it to dinner, you’d not seen or heard from them at all.

“Hey James.” You commented as you headed towards James, Lily, and Regulus sitting at the Slytherin table. “Have you seen Rem or Sirius at all today?” Of course, you knew that he had, he lived with them.

James seemed to grimace slightly, but the expression was fleeting before he was smiling at you again. 

He knew something you didn’t.

“The last I heard they were talking about your study date tonight.” He offered. You could tell he was putting on an extra show of enthusiasm for your benefit. You tried to be grateful for it, but it left a sour taste in your mouth, nonetheless.

“Okay, thank you.” You said as you turned to head to find a seat with Shelby. 

“Oh, Y/N.” Lily called after you. “You’re welcome to sit with us, if you’d like?”

You grinned gratefully at Lily as she smiled kindly at you, even though your heart clenched on account of the clearly pitying offer. Was it as obvious to everyone else as it was to you that you were so out of place with Remus and Sirius? Could they all see it too?

“That’s alright. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” You called as you walked away.

The boys weren’t avoiding you, were they? Surely, they would have said something to you if there was a problem.

Although, perhaps they wouldn’t, seeing as you had clearly been spiraling for some time now and have yet to discuss it with them.

Would they even meet you in the library later? Certainly, they would have said if something came up…if you needed to reschedule.

No. 

You were obviously being silly. You hadn’t seen them all day, but they hadn’t seen you either – it was just a coincidence. You were fine.

Except you weren’t fine. Because it was about seven minutes after the time you had agreed to meet them before the boys joined you in the library. Remus offered you a hasty “sorry we’re late, dove” and a squeeze of your shoulder before taking a place at the table across from you, and Sirius pecked a quick kiss into your hair and sat beside you without saying a word.

It was painfully awkward. You’d asked them how their days were – Remus answered for the both of them before he asked you how yours was in turn.

After two more (failed) attempts on your part to make conversation, the rest of the study session was spent in silence. And not a comfortable silence.

It was the kind of silence that had you checking your surroundings every so often. The kind of silence that made you feel as if bugs were crawling over your skin.

Every time you looked across at Remus, he seemed to be shooting concerned glances over at Sirius. Every time you looked in your periphery at Sirius, you could see he was zoned out, eyes rimmed and red like he’d been crying or angrily rubbing at them. 

If something was wrong, they would have told you – right?

If they were regretting being with you, they wouldn’t have shown - right? 

If they were going to break up with you, they wouldn’t do it in the library of all places.

Right?

Your musings were interrupted when Sirius let out a sharp breath and closed his book unceremoniously. 

“Sorry guys, I’m not feeling the best. I think I’m going to pack it up.”

Remus immediately perked up, looking like he was ready to pack up too. “Okay, do you want company?”

Do you want me to come with you?

“No, that’s alright. Don’t let me impede your studying. I’ll catch up with you later, ‘kay?”

I’ll talk to you more in our dorm room when we’re alone, Remus.

“Sorry, sweets. I’ll make it up to you.” He said as he hugged you from behind and kissed your neck. 

“Okay, I hope you feel better.” You offered as you awkwardly pat his arms. He gave you a half-hearted smile before quickly exiting the library.

Once his figure disappeared from your vision, you turned back to see Remus still looking towards the way Sirius just left; he was still poised as if he was ready to pack up and go after him.

You suddenly felt guilty…because if you weren’t here, he would be going… He’d be going after his boyfriend and comforting him through…whatever he’s going through.

So now, here you were keeping Remus from where he really wanted to be, and Sirius from having the support that he needs…that he deserves.

My gods, you’ve made such a terrible mistake. How did the three of you not notice?

“Sorry about that, love.” Remus mentioned quietly, offering you a half smile. “He…he got a letter from his family today. He doesn’t really talk about it with people.”

He talked about it with you, though.

“It usually takes him a day or two to sort it out before he comes back to us.”

You mean back to you, James, and Peter…

“I’ll talk to him.”

When you leave me…to go to him.

You hated even feeling petulant about it. One of the things you loved about these boys was how much they loved each other. The trust, the affection, the care…you had just hoped that somehow, you’d get to enjoy those things too.

You offered him the best smile you could muster as you turned back towards your book. You could no longer make the words out as your vision blurred, tears threatening to spill out over the arithmancy calculations spread below you. 

You couldn’t keep doing this. Not to Remus, not to Sirius…and certainly not to yourself. You deserved better, all three of you did. 

You were being selfish, inserting yourself into their relationship like this; demanding things from them that they didn’t owe you.

“You know what,” you offered quietly, clearing your throat as your voice came out scratchy, grating along the lump lodged in your throat. “I think I’ve gotten enough studying done for tonight.”

You stood and started piling your things together. 

“Oh…are, are you sure?” Remus asked like he was willing to argue, but he too was standing and starting to pack his bag – eager to get to his dorm and check on Sirius. 

“Yeah, I did some work on it at dinner as well.”

Remus grimaced slightly at that.

“I’m sorry dove, really. The three of us clearly haven’t had a great day. I’ll talk to Sirius, and I promise we’ll all be back in sync in no time.”

You looked into his eyes and saw sincerity.

Back in sync.

Were we ever in sync to begin with?

“Can I walk you to your dorm?” He asked as he made to move around the table, but he paused at you quickly shaking your head.

“No, no I’m alright. I can find my way.” You tried to joke, but it fell flat.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. No, don’t worry about it just – uhm – just make sure he’s okay for me, yeah?” You asked as you walked backwards to the door. Remus must’ve picked up something in your tone, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked you up and down.

“I really am sorry, Y/N. We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You quickly wiped away a stray tear that found its way out of your water line and gave him the biggest smile you could muster.

This was better, you thought, let everyone out of their misery.

“’Course. I’ll, uhm, I’ll see you around, Lupin.”

And you left. 

#ask elle #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x you #wolfstar #poly!wolfstar x you #poly!wolfstar #poly!wolfstar x reader #poly wolfstar #angst #ellecdc fics

[wolfmoonmusic]

Misunderstandings

Summary: Sirius is yours and you are his. But do you both know that?

Request: Sirius and reader have a kind of an off and on flirtation/situationship thing going and he sees her going on a "date" with Frank Longbottom (personally I had headcanon that Frank was the fifth boy in the dorm along with the Marauders) in reality she's went on a pretend date to help Frank get ready for the real date he's taking her best friend Alice on and so Sirius gets jealous and wants to make things official before he loses her to someone else a little bit of angst with happy ending you know

Requested by: @jessiegerl

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Warnings: Readers parents hate her and well we all know how Sirius's Parents are.

w/c: 2.8k+

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3

Sirius Black was not used to affection.

It was foreign to him. He never received praise, compliments, or anything positive. Ever.

So when the acquaintances he’d made on the hogwart’s express clapped him on the back after getting into Gryffindor, he didn’t know how to react other than to flinch.

And when you, introduced as James’s honorary sister, sat down that night, you’d complimented his hair.

You’d said “I like your long hair. It suits you.”

His parents hated that hairstyle. 

He’d kept it purely as an act of rebellion. However, now, now he seemed to like it just a bit more. He hadn’t said thank you. Because he hadn’t known he was supposed to. So he’d just nodded, and you’d grinned.

That grin changed everything. You changed everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What if we make polyjuice potion, and I disguise myself as Narcissa, lead Lucius on for a bit and then prank him?” you asked, playing with the quill in your hands. 

Remus groaned, “We’re still on this?” he asked, throwing his head back in disbelief.

“N/n, Remmy is right, we pranked Lucius only the day before yesterday,” Sirius nodded. You raised an eyebrow at him knowing he was never one to back down from a prank on any Slytherin.

And you were right. He wanted to do it. But if that meant Lucius got a chance to be near you even in a slightly romantic way, he would hurl.

And possibly punch him.

“Oh c’monnn Siri,” you whined, putting on your best pleading face and puppy eyes.

Damn those puppy eyes.

Sirius just shook his head, ignoring the way his heart was racing at your look. He watched as you pouted, leaning back on to the couch, head resting on James’s shoulder. “James, help me out here,” you said, folding your arms as you waited expectantly.

But James was too busy staring at a certain redhead and you, still staring at Sirius, nudged James in the chest.

“Huh? What?”

Sirius burst out laughing at the way your face twisted in pure irritation, the other two boys joining in as you hit James repeatedly with a pillow.

“Ow ow! I’m sorry, I'm sorry!” James laughed as you continued your assault fighting the grin that was creeping up on your face.

“Fuck you Potter!” you laughed, as James tried to correct his hair, you stopping him and messing it up further.

Sirius watched the exchange between you both, a sick feeling crawling up his chest. He knew that you both were no more than honorary siblings and it would always be that way, but deep down he wished you were sitting next to him, doing all that silly stuff with him.

He immediately brushed it off, not one to allow feelings to linger for long, replacing his hardened stare with a smirk instead, watching you and James continue to fight like kids, admiring the bright smile on your face.

He wished that that smile would never go away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Black, if you could be any animal in the world which was not a dog, which by the way I still don’t understand why that’s your favorite animal, which would you choose?” you asked, mindlessly hooking your hand with his as you both walked to class in 4th year.

He ignored the burst of feelings that erupted in him, trying to focus on your question and not on the way your hand felt against his, clinging on as you pranced lightly. “Uhh, I don’t know” he muttered, his brain fogging up as he refrained himself from staring at your linked hands. You hummed, breaking away from him as James and Remus came into view outside the class.

He paused for a few seconds trying to calm down his erratic heart before shaking his head and entering the class. 

You waved him down, patting the seat next you, and the second he sat down, you grabbed his arm, sticking your tongue out at a slytherin girl eyeing you both with pure jealousy written all over her face.

Sirius laughed, “What’s that all about?”

“She likes you,” you pouted, “and asked me, ME to set you both up!” you pointed to yourself in disbelief.

“She looks cute,” Sirius said, winking at the girl. 

You gasped at the way the girl blushed in response. “She’s a slytherin!” you exclaimed, swatting his shoulder. 

Sirius shrugged, “Good point, guess I’ll have to find someone else then.”

“No way! You’re mine” you said seriously, jabbing a finger at his chest. 

His heart erupted, eyes widening. But he played it off quickly, leaning over to whisper in your ear. “You wish sweetheart.” 

Your face turned pink, eyes widening. Luckily the professor walked in, not allowing Sirius to dwell on your reaction.

Merlin, he was done for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were always a naturally happy person. The boys had never seen you cry, even though they’d all had their breakdown moments. You’d been their rock through everything. 

However, when 5th year started, you’d changed. You opted out of pranks, studying almost all the time and the usual spark in your eyes had faded. James seemed to know what had happened but he refused to let the others know, telling them it was up to you to reveal it to them. 

He was worried about you, Sirius could tell, and that made the long-haired boy worry even more. 

He’d tried to get you to talk to him, but you’d refused.

Until one day you’d shown up to Charms, puffy-eyed and asked Sirius to meet you in the Astronomy tower after his classes were done for the day. 

He’d waited anxiously, and as soon as his classes finished, he ran to find you.

You were standing right where you’d said you’d be, gazing up at the sky. You turned when you saw him, a small smile forming on your lips. But the boy noticed the way it seemed to require so much effort from you, which was never the case before.

You turned away again, wordlessly staring at the sky. He wanted to demand an explanation, no longer able to watch you like this.

“Y/N-”

“I’ve never stopped to think,” you started softly, still staring above. Sirius stepped closer to you, waiting patiently for you to continue.

You took a deep breath before turning to face him. 

“I’ve never let myself stop doing things or take a break because then all the thoughts flood the gates and I feel like I’m going to drown. But-” your eyes glazed over as you took a shuddering breath, looking down at your feet.

Sirius grabbed your shaking hands with one of his own, using the other to lift your chin up so that you could look at him. 

“I’m listening,” he whispered.

You bit down on your lip before starting again, “But this summer was bad Siri- they- they said the worst things and-” you couldn’t finish as a sob wracked through your body. 

Sirius pulled you to him, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and another lightly around your head as if trying to shield you.

He knew about the situation with your parents. They were almost never at home, and whenever they were, they made it very clear that they hadn’t wanted children in the first place. That’s why you spent most of your time at the Potter’s. 

It’s also why you understood his situation so well.

You pulled away, wiping your tears away as you looked at Sirius. “Euphemia says she won’t let me go back this time even if they ask,” you laughed slightly remembering the possessiveness that had come over the older Potter. 

Sirius smiled, “Good.”

“Thanks Siri,” you nodded, and Sirius beamed at the real smile that made its way to your face. 

“Anytime princess. But don’t get too comfortable, other girls will get jealous.”

You gasped, playfully punching him on his shoulder, “I better be your one and only Black!” you laughed, and he joined in, hiding the way that sentence struck his heart.

Little did you know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Sirius found himself knocking on the door of the Potter’s house, he didn’t expect for you to open it.

Shit. He’d forgotten you stayed there now.

But he couldn’t back away. He didn’t have the energy, nor did he think you would let him, at the way you gasped in horror as you looked at him.

He mustered all his strength into a cheeky “Hi” before James appeared behind you, giving the same reaction you had seconds before. You stood there in shock, hands over your mouth and eyes watering at the sight of the boy in front of you.

Sirius gave up on trying to fake it, giving in as you and James pulled him inside the house. 

“James, get your mom,” you ordered. The boy hesitated as you guided Sirius to the sofa, before you turned and glared at him and he ran off. 

Your eyes scanned the boy, a sort of resolve taking you over as you kneeled down in front of him. Sirius was fighting to keep consciousness and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold it for.

“Sirius,” you called gently, placing a hand on his knee, slowly and carefully. “What happened?” you asked. 

Sirius didn’t want to relive what his mother had done to him, trying desperately to push it all away, trying to drown himself in your presence. But he knew you’d need an explanation if you were to help him get rid of the immense pain he was feeling right now.

“Cruciatus,” he whispered, noticing the horror and anger that made its way to your face, but also noticing the way the gentleness of your touch hadn’t changed.

“Can’t go back. Ever.” he muttered, and you were quick to adjust yourself so that he could look you in the eyes. “You won’t ever be going back. Even if Euphemia can’t keep us all here, you and I will find another place. But Black,” you placed a careful hand on his cheek and he leaned into it, “You are never. Ever. Going back there.” The seriousness in your voice gave Sirius enough strength to whisper a “Thank you” before partially fading out of consciousness again, comforted by the fact that you were here, and for once in his life feeling that things would be okay.

He could vaguely make out Euphemia and Fleamont’s reaction to seeing him nearly passed out on the couch, and your hurried explanation of whatever you’d understood from what he’d said. Euphemia walked up to him moments later with a some medicine in hand, something about opening his mouth, gulping, and about helping him sleep and doctors and the next day at sunrise. He couldn’t process it, just doing what he was told. 

James and you then carefully lifted him, carrying him to a room and gently placing him on a bed. 

He could hear you and James both talking in hushed whispers, but he was unable to make out what you were saying, as he fell into a disturbed sleep.

He woke up in the middle of night once, sweating and terrified, haunted by what he’d seen in his nightmare. But before he could properly react and realize where he was, you got up from beside him. 

He couldn’t breathe, and tears were streaming down his face. He could see you move to sit in front of him and your lips moving but he couldn’t make out what you were saying. 

You then gently placed your hands on his face and surprisingly it helped. 

It grounded him, reminded him that he was with you and not with his monstrous parents.

Your voice started to fade back in and he could hear you telling him to breathe, and so he did, thankful that you were there to help him.

Of all the Marauders, he felt the safest with you. 

“I’m okay,” he whispered once his breathing was back in his control. You nodded, sighing softly.

“Thank you,” he muttered, looking up at your tired eyes, “and I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s fine,” you shrugged, “I hadn't slept. I was too worried.” You said, moving to sit against the headboard of the bed.

“Sorry for that then,” Sirius said lying back down. 

You stared at him for a few minutes before running a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp softly.

“It’s not your fault Sirius, don’t apologize.”

Sirius didn’t respond, trying to focus on you, and on where he was, rather than the memories that were flooding his brain.

You laid down next to him, and Sirius realized that he was infact in your room, and as he turned to apologize once again, you placed a finger on his lips.

“If you apologize for intruding or something like that again, I will make you sleep on the couch.” you threatened your voice laced with humor.

Sirius smiled at you slightly, and you pulled him close to you, allowing him to tuck his face under your chin as you wrapped your hands and legs around him. He was glad you did so, it made him feel safe, and as if you’d heard his thoughts, you whispered into his ear “You’re safe with me Black. You’re mine, and I’ll keep you safe”

He wished he really was yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius couldn’t find you anywhere. And what worried him more was that he couldn’t find Frank anywhere either. 

Why did that matter?

Well as you and Sirius had gotten closer and flirtier, you and Frank had gotten closer too. After the fiasco that took place over the summer, you’d spent more time with the boys in their dorm room and naturally that meant you were hanging out with their roommate Frank Longbottom as well. 

And now Sirius was worried that you’d thought his flirting was just him being Sirius and that he had no actual feelings for you.

If you really did think that and if you’d decided to hang out with Frank instead, Sirius had no idea what he would do. 

He’d searched every nook and corner of Hogwarts and now the only other place he could think of was Hogsmeade. 

Oh Merlin he hoped it wasn’t Hogsmeade.

Sirius snuck out of the school during study hours, making his way to Hogsmeade, anxiety filling him.

As he made his way through hogsmeade, his heart dropped when he saw your familiar figure next to Frank’s. 

Your head was thrown back in laughter, and Frank was grinning. “You did great! I’m sure next time will be just as smooth,” you said, patting him on the shoulder.

Next time?

Fear creeped up on Sirius.

He couldn’t lose you to Frank. 

He couldn’t lose you to anyone.

He ran up to you and Frank, seeing both of your faces twist in confusion.

“Sirius?”

“You can’t date him!” Sirius exclaimed, pointing to Frank. 

“What?” you and Frank both said at once, before realization crossed your features and a small smile formed on your lips. 

But Sirius was too anxious and worried to register it, only glaring at Frank.

“Frank, what about you go back, and I’ll figure out what Sirius wants,” Frank nodded at your suggestion and walked off, patting Sirius on the back once.

“Why can’t I date Frank?” you asked, looking at Sirius who was still glaring at the boy who’d just walked away.

He spun around to look at you, surprise all over his face. Anyone could see you struggling to hide your smile and maintain a serious expression on your face, but Sirius was blinded.

“Because- ‘Cause-” Sirius faltered, what he was about to do, dawning on him. He hadn’t wanted to confess to you like this.

“Because?” you asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Because I like you,” he rushed out, scared he would think twice and miss this chance. And the slight tinge of pink in your cheeks gave him confidence. 

“Actually no, I don’t like you, I love you. I’m head over heels for you and I cannot imagine not being with you, at all. I want - no need you to be mine”

You grinned, “Black finally confesses! And you really think I would have gone out with Frank when I have feelings for you? He wanted me to help him get ready for the actual date he’s taking Alice on, since she’s my close friend.” 

Sirius heard nothing except - “You have feelings for me?”

You laughed, linking your hand with his, “I thought it was obvious!”

He turned you around, looking at you, “You really like me?”

You shook your head, laughing lightly, before leaning up to place your lips against his.

His hand moved to your waist, pulling you in, as your hands wrapped around his neck, fingers entangling in his hair.

You both pulled away a few moments later, gasping for air. 

“I’ve been yours since the first day I saw you,” you whispered, eyes locked on his.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too. But I think I love your hair more.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglists: @pinchofhoney @targaryenmoony

#x reader #fluff #x you #angst #x you fluff #sirius black x you #sirius black x reader #james & peter & remus & sirius #sirius black x y/n #sirius orion black #remus lupin #euphemia potter #marauders #sirius black angst #sirius x reader #james potter x sister!reader #lily james #marauders x reader #marauders era #the marauders #marauders x reader platonic #marauders fic #marauders x you #marauders fluff #marauders fanfiction #sirius black

[moonstruckme]

I really hope you mean here 🤭

Request: "Remus is being rude to the reader due to the upcoming full moon.. make it as angsty as you can"

Thanks for requesting babe <3

cw: migraine, Rem is mean :(

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words

When you come home from work, the apartment is dark and there’s evidence of Remus’ shit day everywhere. 

The curtains are drawn closed against the sunlight, and there’s a discarded blanket on the couch and several snack containers half-emptied on the coffee table. One of them has tipped onto the floor, a mess of crisps your boyfriend was likely feeling too unwell to tidy. He’s spilled tea on the table, too. These kinds of things are more common in the days before the full moon, but you think he must really be having a rough one. Even a few unwashed dishes in the sink is usually enough to stress Remus out, so he has to have been in a state to leave things like this. 

You brew a fresh cup of tea, grabbing some chocolates from the cabinet in case he didn’t bring any with him, and broach the bedroom. A shape moves under the sheets when the door creaks open. 

“Hi,” you say softly. You kneel by the bed, lightly touching the ends of Remus’ hair. “How are you, love?” 

“Bad,” he mutters from beneath the covers. You wince. He must be, if he won’t even lower the sheets beneath his eyes. 

You do your best to keep the pity from your voice, knowing he’d hate it. “I brought you some tea,” you murmur, “if you want it.”

“Can’t right now.” 

“It’s chamomile,” you coax. “It might help—”

“I can’t.” The low rumble of his voice takes on a hard edge, and you fall instantly silent. You nod even though he can’t see it, setting the tea and chocolate on his nightstand as quietly as you can. 

You don’t tell him you’re going, sure every footstep is agonizingly loud for him. You force down the lump in your throat. Remus is miserable right now; he’s not thinking about how his tone affects you, and that’s not his fault. He doesn’t mean anything by it. You can deal with it, help anyways.

You sweep instead of vacuuming, gathering the little bits of crisps into a dustpan and dumping them in the trash. The half-eaten snacks get reshelved in your cabinets, the puddle of tea cleaned off the coffee table, and candles lit to banish the stale smell in the living room. The cinnamon ones are usually Remus’ favorite, but you trade them out for lavender on the off chance it helps with his headache. You’re washing dishes one at a time so they don’t clatter when the bedroom door creaks open. 

“Hey,” you say, relieved. “Feeling better?” 

“No.” Remus’ voice is low, and the scratch of it tears at your heartstrings. He trudges to the end of the hall, where he stops, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “I need you to be quiet.” 

“Oh, sorry.” You soften your voice, freezing with your hands submerged in the warm dishwater. “I’ve been trying, I didn’t realize you could hear. I’m almost done with this, so—” 

“Could you stop?” he asks, tone going harsh again. “Just, be quiet or find somewhere else to be, please. I can’t deal with this.” 

You swallow against the intrusion in your throat. Will away the heat from your face. “Okay,” you say, the word barely a whisper. 

Remus turns, plodding back to the bedroom. You hear the door shut.

You leave the dishwater to get cold rather than pouring it out and making more noise. You sit down on the couch with a book, eyes skimming over the words as you convince yourself over and over that it’d be stupid to cry about this. Your face heats, then cools. Tears blur your vision and you blink them away. This is ridiculous. Remus is just moody, he didn’t mean it. You know better than to take anything he says to heart right now. You can’t expect your efforts to be properly appreciated, but the important part is to keep making them. When he’s feeling better, he’ll thank you in a million sweet ways, because that’s who he is. He loves you. He didn’t mean it. 

It’s dark outside when the bedroom door creaks open again. You hadn’t noticed night falling, even when the light became too dim for you to make out the words on your page. You set your book down; you hadn’t been reading anyway. 

Remus sits next to you without a word. He leans the side of his head against the cushion with a sigh. 

“Dove?” he murmurs. 

You don’t dare do more than hum in response. 

A scarred hand finds your leg, the thumb sweeping back and forth over your skin. “I’m sorry for snapping at you,” he says quietly. “That was…it was really mean. And undeserved.”

“I’m sorry I was being loud,” you reply, and you can’t help it, your throat clogs all over again. “I was just trying to help.” 

Your voice catches on the last word, and Remus makes a pained sound that has you silencing yourself instantly. He makes another at your response. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he rasps. “Do you want a hug?” 

You bite down on your lower lip. “Are you okay to hug?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart.” 

He meets you in the middle, pressing upon your shoulder blades like he can hold you together by sheer physical force. You try for his sake, swallowing the cries that rise in your throat. 

“I’m sorry,” he says again, palm marking a slow path up and down your back. “You weren’t too loud, I’m just fussy. You were only being your kind self. I had no reason to be so horrid.” 

“You weren’t horrid,” you warble. “I know you’re having a hard time.” 

“That’s no excuse.” His palm makes its way back to your shoulders just in time to feel the first little sob escape you. Remus’ grip tightens. “Aw, dovey. I’m so, so sorry. I can’t believe I spoke to you like that.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s not,” he murmurs, kissing the exposed bit of skin where your shirt is slipping down your shoulder. “It’s not, and—” He pauses, looking around the room for the first time. “Did you clean?” 

You nod against his front, feeling the pained sigh that leaves him. 

“Fuck, I’m awful.” 

“You’re not.” 

“You were cleaning up my mess, and I yelled at you.” Now Remus’ voice sounds a tad raw too. He gathers you closer, stubble scratching your forehead as he kisses your hairline. “My sweet girl. You should have ripped me a new one.” 

“You weren’t yelling,” you point out, teasing a bit now, “and anyway, it seemed like you were already being ripped a new one.” 

“Still,” he mumbles into your hair. “You lit the lavender candles and everything. You deserve to put me through hell.” 

“You’re already going through hell,” you remind him gently, brushing a kiss against his cheek. “I don’t need to help the process along. Do you want some tea, love?” 

Remus hums. “I do, but let me get it. Let me get some for you, too, yeah?” He leans back to look down at you. “You want some nighttime tea, darling?” 

You’re alright really, but you tell him you do anyway. He looks nearly happy as he drags himself into the kitchen, and he won’t stop mollycoddling you for the rest of the night. 

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x self insert #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fic #remus lupin angst #remus lupin hurt/comfort #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin scenario #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin one shot #marauders #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders fandom #hp marauders #the marauders #marauders x reader

[whenlilyfallsinlove]

jolene part 2

(aka remus having a fat crush on you) (basically part 1 from remus's perspective)

part 1

james potter x reader -> remus lupin x reader

@mishi-with-jazz you requested this, hope everyone enjoys :)

remus lupin prided himself on being smart. sure, he wouldn't go round bragging about it, but he knew he was clever. he was a good student, always achieving Os, and constantly top of the class (alongside lily). although recently, he didn't feel smart at all. that's because he had made a mistake. a big one. he had a massive crush on you. his best friend's girlfriend.

he hated himself for it. what kind of friend does that? but he couldn't help it. and anyway he had liked you first! way before james did, ever since third year. he felt selfish, thinking that, but it was the truth. james claimed he had liked you for ages, but remus knew that was nothing compared to the length of time he himself harboured feelings for you.

"hello darling." remus was broke from his thoughts by james' voice, and saw you had sat down next to james, across from him. across from him!!

you were beautiful, he couldn't help thinking when he saw you cheekily poked your tongue out at sirius. you had always been kind to him, ever since you sat next to each other in your very first year. potions, if he remembered correctly.

in fact, you even knew about his "furry little problem" as your boyfriend liked to call it. you found out in fourth year, and you were nothing but helpful to him. you promised not to tell anyone and hadn't treated him any differently. he was eternally grateful.

remus had not noticed he'd been gazing at you till you gave him a smile causing his cheeks to warm up and smile back, quickly looking away. he'd been caught staring. that was embarrassing. what if you thought he was a weirdo? what if james had noticed and forbid him from speaking to you? even worse.. what if james stopped being friends with him for fancying his girlfriend?

his panics stopped when he saw lily evans approach the table. he listened to you talk to her, thanking her, and then he noticed james' face. long before you had. before sirius aand peter had. he was blushing. was he serious? james was one of his best friends, don't get him wrong, but he had a girlfriend. it made it worse his girlfriend was you.

remus bit down on his marmalade toast, hard. he was angry for you.

"james are you okay?" he heard you ask curiously, causing him to feel a pang of sympathy for you.

he heard james brush you off, and suddenly it was like nothing had even happened. everyone seemed to have moved on. remus wasn't even sure that padfoot and wormtail had even noticed james' reaction to seeing lily.

he knew you had, though. you were quieter than usual. you looked.. sad.

he shot you a comforting smile, which you returned weakly.

at least you're smiling, even if it was forced.

sometime passed until you spoke up again

"i need to go to the library, does anyone want to come with?" you asked, looking hopefully at james.

"sorry love, got quidditch practice in ten minutes." james said with a sympathetic smile.

"it's fine." remus heard you mutter, you sounded a bit dejected.

"i'll go. i need to anyway, i need a book for the history of magic homework." remus surprised himself, not even processing what he had actually just said.

"thanks remus." you smile softly, and he follows you out of the hall.

you both walk in silence to the library, until remus decides to speak up.

"are you okay?" he asks, looking at your face.

"i'm fine, thanks though.." you said unconvincingly.

"are you sure? you look upset." he responds, giving you a worried smile.

"it's just... james. he's confusing." you sigh.

remus heart stopped. a small part of him hoped you'd tell him that you were planning to break up with james. he knew that was unlikely.

he gives you a nod to continue speaking and you smile in return.

"sometimes i think he still likes lily." you say, avoiding eye contact.

as much as remus wanted to tell you yes!! yes james still likes lily, but here i am and i like you a lot!! he knew he couldn't.

"don't be silly y/n." remus chuckles "james likes you, not lily. she's old news." he gives you a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"really?" you look at remus with such hopefulness, it made him hope what he was saying was true.

"really." he confirms. "james is crazy about you."

you smile at him, looking reassured.

"thanks remus." you say. "you're a great friend."

remus felt himself tense. friend. but of course that's all he was.. you had a boyfriend for godric's sake. he decided, however, he would like being your friend if it made you smile.

"it's no problem, really." he smiles at you and you carry on your journey to the library.

since that talk, you immediately felt closer to remus. you talked more and you both considered each other best friends.

weeks later, you were brought together again.

"you don't usually go to parties, do you remus?" you ask remus, who was holding up a drunk james.

gryffindor had just had a party to celebrate their quidditch win against slytherin and james, being captain of course, was drunk out of his mind.

he was touched you had noticed he didn't usually attend the parties. you were right. he didn't. but james and sirius were on the quidditch team, and he wanted to celebrate their win with them.

"n-no i don't, just wanted to support my friends." he decides to respond, and he knows what he said was apparently correct judging by the smile on you face.

he watched you talk to james comfortingly. merlin he wished you spoke to him like that. you were one of the nicest people he knew.

he zoned out a second but then sees your face, which instantly snaps him out of his daze.

"i'm not lily." he saw you grit your teeth. "would you rather have her take care of you?"

noticing your hurt words, he's quick to comfort you.

"don't worry y/n, he's drunk, he doesn't know any better." he tries to reassure you.

you nod back, but then collapse on a chair.

you looked sad. devastated. remus wanted nothing more to cheer you up.

"look.. y/n, i'll take him up to bed. do you want me to come back down so you can talk.. or do you want some space?" he asks.

"talk." you notice your abruptness and you feel your cheeks warm. "that'd be nice." you add on the end.

remus smiles at you and takes james up to their dorm, where sirius is left to deal with him.

"why's he such a lightweight?" sirius chuckles.

"i know. weakling." remus snorts. "he's fucked up though."

"he has?" sirius responds, with some surprise.

"yeah he's upset y/n." remus responds, frowning.

"prick." sirius rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to james.

"i'll be back.. soon." remus leaves his dorm, and goes back to where you're sat trying to regain yourself.

"hey.." you mutter when you see him, and he takes the seat next to you.

"talk to me." he smiles, sympathetically.

"it's james. again. you heard him. he's always thinking about lily! i'm his girlfriend, not her." a tear rolls down your face.

"oh y/n, don't cry." remus reaches out and brushes the tear away.

"sorry.. i'm pathetic. i just don't know what to do." you groan.

"look.. do you want my honest advice." remus scans your face.

you nod.

"talk to him about it tomorrow, if he doesn't take accountability for it. dump him. and i'm saying that as one of his best friends."

remus feels your gaze on him and feels his cheeks warm.

"oh remus." you lay your head on his shoulder, causing him to freeze up. he knew you weren't drunk but you were still a little tipsy.

he lets you lay there, you look tired.

"i wish james was more like you..." you mutter, drifting off.

remus's breath hitched. although this wasn't reliable at all (you weren't sober), this was progress.

looking at you with a small smile, he just couldn't help but love you.

#x reader #fanfic #harry potter x reader #fluff #angst #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #marauders #marauders x reader #sirius black

[kenthoe]

fr tho why is everything smut😭😭 i wanna read angst that would ruin me, make me sick to my stomach and cry like there's no tomorrow bro i want a fanfic that is so devastating that i won't be able to function for the next few months

#enzo x reader #kuroo reader angst #james potter x reader #oikawa x reader angst #eddie munson angst #fanfic #harry potter angst #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #stranger things #steve harington #draco malfoy #regulus black #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #haikyu x reader #nanami kento #gojou satoru x you #levi ackerman x reader #draco malfoy x hufflepuff reader

[writtenbymoonflower]

Hello, author-san! How are you? Could I please request some angst for the poly!marauders, where R is someone full of tattoos or piercings but is smart, a sweetheart, golden retriever coded, and Lily is their friend. Lily knows about their infatuation with the boys. Being a great friend, Lily wants to set them up, but they're a bit uncertain about R because of their tattoos. Then one night, R overhears them talking in the common room with Lily and voices out their opinions regarding R, causing R to become insecure and try to hide it. You can continue however you like! Angst with a happy ending if it's okay! 🥺

Thank you, author-san!

💀🌻

Thanks for requesting sweetheart! Sorry it took so long, hope this is okay! gn!reader x poly!marauders, pre-relationship

cw: prejudice associated with tattoos and piercings, swearing, angst to happy ending

1.8k words (oopsie)

It was like you could hear their words on repeat as you raced up the stairs. What hurt the most is that you knew that some people would judge, but you hadn’t expected it from them. 

“I just don’t know about 'em, Lils.” James winced. “Like they seem nice, but you know about people who choose to look at that…” He trailed off. 

“I’m sure they’re not all bad.” Sirius cut in, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. “But Prongs does have a point.”

“It’s just the impulsivity of it all.” Remus reasoned. “Like if you’re making rash choices like that, what else would you do.” 

That was when you left your hiding spot in the stairs and ran back to your dorm. You could hear Lily’s ‘I’m so fucking done with you being stupid’ voice as you trailed away, making you smile at the knowledge that you had such a good friend. 

But you had heard enough. They had clearly made their minds up about you. Besides, you knew your appearance was an… acquired taste, to say the least, and you couldn’t expect them to be with someone they weren’t attracted to. You didn’t think you looked that odd, but maybe your perception was skewed. No matter whose perception was more accurate, they clearly didn’t particularly like you, and it was probably best to keep your distance for now, at least until they really got to know you. 

You knew that your appearance didn’t really match your personality. People often assumed you were rude, a slacker, confrontational, or even hateful. But the opposite was true in fact. You always made good marks, you were friends with loads of people, always trying to be as open as possible. And yeah, some people were intimidated at first, but they usually warmed up very quickly. 

Apparently those three, the three you wanted the approval of the most, had not been as warm about you as you thought. 

You crawled into bed and curled into yourself, trying to get a few hours of sleep before breakfast. 

James yawned loudly, blinking his eyes rapidly to get rid of the sleepy, fuzzy film coating them. Him and his boyfriends had been up all night, getting lectured literally until the sun came up. 

He had to admit, it was for the best. All three boys had gone to bed, feeling thoroughly corrected. Even slipping into shame. 

“What the hell is wrong with you three?” Lily whisper-yelled. “James, you are the LAST person to say anything about appearances. Remember when I had to go around convincing people you hadn’t become mean after your growth spurt in fourth year? Just because you were big and scary and you hadn’t realized how you were coming across?” She scolded, before turning her head to the mouse-haired boy sitting by the fire. “And you,” She seethed. “You have no clue if her choices were ‘rash’ or not. I’ve heard plenty of rumors about your appearance, people saying similar things about you. About your ‘aggression’ just because they don’t know what’s going on with you.” She snapped her head over to Sirius, her fiery hair flipping around from the movement. “And Sirius, you’re just overcompensating because you’re jealous! You’re not fooling anyone, you would look like that in an instant if you could. You’re just too scared to do it.”

Sirius played with his thumbs, not able to dispute the accusations. None of the boys could actually. Lily could tell, she was satisfied with her work. 

“I love you three buggers,” She pressed a friendly kiss to each of their cheeks as she stormed upstairs. “You just need to stop being such idiots.” 

Sirius didn’t think anyone could change personalities that fast, but it seemed all three boys had woken up different people. That morning they had all just nodded to each other, acknowledging that their opinions were very different than they had been 24 hours ago and all walked shamefacedly down to breakfast. Sirius kept pushing his eggs around his plate, too busy staring at you to take a bite. You looked a lot different today. Your hair was ruffled in front of your face, hiding the metal glinting on your nose and eyebrow. You also had long sleeves and pants on, covering the ink detailing your skin. You still hadn’t waved at them, or even acknowledged the boys’ existence. Usually, you would be bouncing over to them, talking about the weather or whatever was on your mind at the moment. Sirius missed it if he was honest with himself. He was disappointed, he had been excited to show you his outfit. He crafted it with you in mind, teasing his hair up extra and being a bit more outlandish with his top, even stealing Marlene’s varnish to paint his nails. 

Remus missed your interest in the latest book he had read. You always had so many interesting questions and you listened so intently. He missed how you played with the hoop in your septum as you nodded along to his plot summaries. You were always so patient and careful, it made his heart crack. 

James was equally distraught. He had always prided himself on being open and friends with everyone, and he had considered you his friend, which just made him feel worse. He knew that stereotyping people never led to anything good, especially when someone's personality was completely ignored and replaced with caricature. Yes, you did look intimidating, but he actually liked it. It accentuated how soft your personality actually was. You were like a big dog that everyone was terrified of, but in reality was scared of butterflies and just wanted to love everyone. He laughed sadly, catching the other two boys' attention as he stared longingly at you. All he wanted to do was go over there, but you were completely ignoring them, so he figured it was best to just not bother you and continue on with his breakfast. 

You were being equally as forlorn, continually sneaking glances over at the boys. They looked quiet and tired, but no less handsome. You felt sick, moving to leave your breakfast and all but run to the library. You needed to study anyway, you had become so infatuated that you were ignoring your classes. You had barely made it down the corridor before you heard three sets of panicked footsteps, quickly catching up to you. You tried to walk faster, but unfortunately Remus had very long legs and he briskly made it in front of you, trapping you in. He was looking flushed, amber eyes focusing on you way too much for comfort. 

“Y/N,” He sounded out of breath. You fixed your face down and back, away from their gaze. You stopping had allowed the other two the opportunity to catch up, and soon you were face-to-face with all three of the people who apparently disliked you, but to your dismay, you were still completely attached to. 

“You guys okay?” You asked, as kindly as ever but far quieter than they were used to. 

“We’re fine, lovely.” James said, confused. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good.” You muttered, shifting your feet. 

“Babe,” Sirius scoffed. Your heart jumped at the honorific, but you quickly scolded yourself. Sirius just called everyone that. You had heard what he, what all three of them had said last night. “You ran from there like bat outta’ hell.” He said like you were being ridiculous.

“And you haven’t spoken to us all day.” Remus cut in before you could respond. 

“It’s only seven.” You mumbled.

“Still odd.” James quipped, moving ever so slightly closer to you. “You’re not okay.” He said, with enough finality that you gave up the act all together. They really weren’t going to make this easy on you. They said all those things last night, but they were still going to put you through the misery of having to listen to them say all those things directly to you. 

You sighed dejectedly, starting to pick your nails. “Look okay,” You tore the words from the back of your throat. “I know that you don’t like me or don’t think I’m nice or whatever. You don’t have to talk to me, it’s okay.” You did your best to give them a reassuring smile, even managing for water to stay out of your eyes, but their expressions didn’t make it easy. Sirius cursed and pinched the bridge of his nose, James looked like a kicked puppy, and Remus was hiding his eyes from you. You started to walk away, but you were blocked in.

“Shit, you heard last night?” Sirius winced. You nodded painfully, looking back down at your shoes. The silent tension was so thick you felt it suffocating you. James was the first to do anything, wordlessly striding over to pull you into a bone-crushing hug. You stumbled from the shock, easing into him accidentally, but you made no moves to tense away. You limply wrapped your arms around his waist. 

“I’m so sorry, angel.” He said, panicked. “I was so stupid, I- I never should’ve said it I don’t know what I was even thinking.” He pulled you tighter to him, enough that you were worried of your feet leaving the ground. 

“I’m sorry too.” Sirius said, much more morosely than usual. “Never should’ve said those things, and you never should've heard it either.” 

“We’re all sorry.” Remus said firmly. “We all know better, we should’ve known not to think that way. It’s awfully closed-minded. You’re our friend, we should’ve acted like it.” 

“It’s okay.” You squeezed out. 

“No.” Sirius said sharply. “It’s not okay. I don’t know if you heard what Lily said back, but she pointed out a lot of things, and I can promise that we don’t think that way anymore.” 

“Please, please forgive us, baby. We were so wrong. You’re so kind and smart and funny and gorgeous an-” James was rambling on and on. 

“Jamie, it’s okay. I know you’re sorry.” You giggled at his panicked tone. “Can you uh- you’re kinda crushing me.” 

“Shit! Sorry.” He released you quickly, but not before slicking your hair out of your face. You just laughed, feeling ten times lighter. 

“We’re okay.” You reassured. “I forgive you all, it hurt, but it seems like you are all beating yourselves up enough.”

“Jus’ feel bad.” Remus grabbed you unexpectedly, tugging you into his arms. He wasn’t squeezing you like James, but rather greedily absorbing your touch. This felt like a big deal, you almost never saw Remus hold anyone. 

“Don’t feel bad.” You pleaded. “Everything’s fine now.” You rubbed his back in a way you hoped was soothing. You felt him relax in your arms. 

“Okay stop hogging them.” Sirius tugged Remus out of the way, making him grunt in dissatisfaction. (You pretended to not notice the sneaky kiss Sirius pressed to the taller boy’s knuckles.) “It’s my turn.” He grabbed you with loving aggression. 

“I wasn’t hogging.” Remus quipped. 

“Yeah, you were.” Sirius sassed. “Besides, I was the biggest idiot. I need to give the biggest cwtch.” His reasoning was flawed, but you settled into him nonetheless. 

#poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders angst #marauders #marauders fanfiction #poly!marauders #drabble #marauders fandom #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #marauders era #the marauders #the maruaders #the marauders era #james potter x reader #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #oneshot #angst #angst with a happy ending #anon ask #anon request

[remusluvr]

i've got soul but i'm not a soldier | remus lupin

summary: Remus can't stay away from you anymore. You can't either. content: fem reader, p in v, lovey-dovey ness, love confessions, mentions of eating (directed towards Remus, nothing bad though), unprotected sex, unedited note: based off this request

"Where are you going?"

He's laid out on your couch, face turned to the tv until you walk into the room. He looks comfortable and you wish you could change out of your dress into sweatpants and curl up with him. But you can't so you shake the thought off, finishing putting in your earrings.

"Out, Wyatt asked me on a date. We're going to that new restaurant downtown." He sits up on the couch, hands rubbing down the length of his thighs.

"Will you come back tonight?"

"Oh, uh, I'm not sure. You know I don't mind you staying here. Don't feel like you need to leave." He hums in response, eyeing you as you search for your purse and wallet. His arm is thrown around the back of the couch as he watches you in your pretty black dress and pretty shoes. The clacking against the floor warms his soul.

"I don't like Wyatt-"

You roll your eyes. You've already had this conversation - "It doesn't matter if you like Wyatt, Remus. I like him." and "Well, it should matter what your best friend thinks."

"-Why can't you just stay with me? Quality friend bonding. We can even watch that stupid movie you like."

"Hard offer to decline but I'm already running a little late so we'll have to put a pin in this conversation." Walking over to him, he leans his head back on the couch. You lean down and kiss his forehead, leaving a bit of your lipstick on the skin. Your thumb rubs it away. "I'll see you later."

And with that, you leave. It used to be easier to get you to cancel dates and stay with him the whole night. You used to jump at the opportunity but now it's like you're jumping away from him. Maybe you are, maybe you're tired of liking him as more than friends should like the other so you're putting a stop to it.

He's left all alone on your couch. Secretly, he hopes your date crashes and burns.

You laugh all the way through dinner and practically plan your second date right then and there. He's just the type of guy you like. Handsome, intelligent, tall, sweet.

And at the end of the night, Wyatt walks you to the door, kisses you on the cheek, and tells you he'll call. Remus sees this from his position on the balcony, cigarette held idly between his fingers. He also sees the way you deflate after he walks away. Was it not a good date? Did Wyatt treat you badly?

"Have fun?" he asks, walking back in through the screen door. You startle, clutching at your chest as you mess with the buckle on your shoes.

"I did. We had a good time."

Remus wants to scream. He wants to be the one taking you on a date so badly. Everything inside of him yells at him to grow a pair, to finally bite the bullet. But, he can't bring himself to risk your friendship. You mean too much to him.

His heart is weighed down. The last thing he wants is for you to get into a relationship. It'll ruin everything. He won't be able to stay over as much, won't be able to hold you when you're having a bad day, won't be able to do any of the things he loves doing with you.

Wyatt's good for you, he'll make you happy. It's what you keep telling yourself in your head. You hate that you can't get Remus out of your head.

Remus feels erratic like he's clutching at straws with you, trying to get you to like him back. And you feel crazy for even thinking of him as more than a friend. You feel like a bad friend.

"Do you need help with those?" he laughs, watching the way you're still struggling to get the clasp of your shoe undone. Laughing, you kick your foot out towards him and he joins you on the floor. His nimble fingers are a much better fit for the job than your shaky ones. His hands rub your foot before working on the other one.

How are you supposed to not love him?

You thank him with a kiss on the cheek. He swoons, making you giggle at him.

"You look very pretty," he whispers, helping you stand up. Your face grows hot at his compliment as you wave him off, trekking back to your bedroom to change into your pajamas and wash your face for the night. He follows you. "I mean it. Wyatt's a lucky guy."

You don't say anything as you get ready for bed. He loves this time of the night, loves how comfortable you feel with him. And he especially loves the way he can pretend you're his. The moment is so domestic that it makes him feel dizzy and when you crawl onto the bed beside him, he digs himself deeper into his hole.

"Did you eat?" you ask, getting comfortable under your blankets. He shakes his head and you scold him, "Remus. You need food. You're always such a grouch when you don't eat."

"I am not the grouch when I don't eat. You are," he bites back, fingers poking at your side. You take offense, sitting up to look at him better.

"Why must you be so mean to me?" you tease, fake-crying so he'll feel bad. It works as it always does, and he cradles you into his arms, hand stroking your hair.

He knows you're faking, anyone in their right mind would know you're faking but it gives him an excuse to touch you. And you like the way he gets so protective over you. Nothing could ever affect you in this moment. His heart twists and his mouth moves faster than he can think.

"I'm glad we know each other."

"You're such a sap," you giggle, pulling your face away from his chest.

"Only for you." His tongue darts out, wetting his lips as you settle yourself into his neck. Your breath tickles him but he doesn't mind. The moment is so delicate he's afraid any movement could shatter it. "I feel like I'm losing you."

"Why? Because I went on a date?"

"Kinda, Wyatt's going to take you from me. But, also just cause I feel like you have been acting differently toward me."

Remus is right. You have been acting sort of differently. You don't reach out to him much, he's usually the one that just shows up on your doorstep.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to." You do mean to. It's easier to get over your feelings for someone if you have less contact with them. Maybe it doesn't exactly work if when you are with that person you act like this. All cuddly and wanting for him.

Wyatt was supposed to be a new start. He was a boy that actually liked you and that wanted to be with you. He was kind and loved to hear you ramble. He was respectful and handsome. You should like Wyatt, but you can't get Remus out of your head. You never have been and you never will, you fear.

"(Y/N)?" he asks after you've grown quiet for longer than usual. You hum. He tries to calm the shake in his body. "Please don't see him again."

"What?" you ask, sitting up, still in his lap.

"Please don't go on another date with him." He knows he sounds pathetic, begging for you, but he can't help it.

"Remus, why?" His hair is messy and he looks adorable.

"I can't see you with him. You shouldn't be with him. He's not right for you and I think you know that." You do know that. He swallows his fear as he continues on, "It's not fair that I can't have you. You mean everything to me and I can't see you with him. It hurts too much."

You're silent and his brain is screaming at him. His face is on fire as you look at him. He's an idiot. Why did he say anything? His throat burns with the threat of incoming tears and he swallows hard, pushing them away.

"I won't see him again." The look on his face melts you. It's one of confusion mixed with relief. You lean forward to ease his confusion, pressing your lips to his. He takes you willingly, hands holding your face. You whine when he pulls away first, chasing after his lips as he catches his breath.

You have a stupid smile on your face. He mirrors your expression as his head tips back against your headboard.

"You look pretty," you whisper, kissing at the exposed skin of his neck. His hands have a firm grip on your hips. You smile against his skin when he whimpers at your nibbling. "So, so pretty."

"Y-you should look at yourself," he whispers back, eyes shut as you kiss behind his ear. He can't believe his luck. He has the girl he's wanted since school in his lap, calling him pretty and biting at his ear. He must've died and gone to heaven for this to be happening.

"I wish you had said something sooner. Or I wish I had told you. Never would've even thought about another guy."

Yeah, he has to be dead.

"Lily's been nagging me to just tell you. She doesn't like Wyatt either," you mumble, enjoying the way he's so intoxicated on you. He likes your boldness. It doesn't happen often but the rush from your love confessions must have you giddy. You press kisses along his jawline, stopping at his lips. "You mean so much to me, was just scared that you'd freak out and leave me, y'know."

"Yeah, I get that," he sighs, deepening the kiss. His hand holds the back of your head to keep your face to his. It makes you feel shy. You know the perfect way to really kill him but you've never seen Remus in this light before and the knowledge of that strikes you down. He's left to be the bolder one, flipping you over and pressing you against your pillows.

You're panting into his mouth and he's loving every single second of it. He loves to be in control, loves having you yearning for more underneath him. Any composure he thought he had is gone when you pant out, "All I could think about on my date was hoping you were here when I got back."

He moans into your mouth, pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. He's a goner. And despite the fact that he wants to do this right, he can't stop imagining what it would be like to fuck you. He can't though, not yet. He's got one chance and he won't fuck it up.

"You're making this very hard, sweetheart." He knows exactly what he'll do. He'll start with a nice date to a restaurant of your choice, maybe a walk or a drive after to somewhere with a nice view where he will kiss you chastely, and then when you return to either one of your apartments (yours preferably, he's been having a pest problem. the pests being James and Sirius) where he'll fuck you, like a gentleman.

"This?" you ask, voice smooth and sultry as your hand reaches down, palming him over his sweatpants. His plan flies out the window. Your fingers dip into the waistline of his pants, pulling lightly. "Want them off."

"Needy girl," he chastises as though he isn't already on the brink of cumming in his pants. He moves off the bed, removing his pants and boxers before laying back down, allowing you to crawl back over to him, hand wrapping around his cock.

He's definitely died.

You're glad that you don't have any roommates right now with how loud Remus is being. You love it. These are the only sounds you want to hear for the rest of your life. He hates that all the focus is on him.

He reaches out, pulling at the bottom of your shirt. You relent, releasing Remus from your grip to pull your shirt over your head. He sucks in a breath at the lacy bra you're wearing. You must have kept it on after your date.

A tinge of jealousy rushes through his veins at the thought of you wearing it for someone else. It quickly simmers out once he remembers that you're all his now. He smiles, pulling you to sit on his lap again.

"Rem," you sigh when he pulls the cups of your bra down, leaning in to pull one of your nipples between his teeth. He loves the squeak he gets out of you and the way you grind your hips down onto him. "Don't tease me, please."

"You make me so happy." He doesn't know where all this gooeyness is coming from. He's always felt it but the fact that he can say it aloud now has him keening. He watches the flush take over your cheeks as his hands settle on your hips, helping you move against him.

There are a lot of things Remus wants to do to you. He's glad that he has so much time to do them all with you.

It's difficult to focus when you can feel him underneath you. You're so wet that you're sure he'd be able to just slip right inside you, no prep needed. You test your luck, pushing your underwear to the side and guiding him with your hand.

"Oh my fucking god," he whines when you sink down on him. He holds you down, not letting you move. You lean forward, pressing kisses on his face. It's not helping. He needs to cum so bad and the feel of your wet cunt has only increased that feeling by tenfold.

"Let me move, I wanna make you feel good." It takes him a moment but he lets you take the lead, letting his head drop back against the headboard as he watches you. He can never go back to how you were before. He needs this at every moment of every day. "A-ah, you're so big."

"Doing s-such a good job, bunny." That's a new nickname. You like it. You wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in his neck as you fuck yourself back on him. His hands grip your ass, spreading you open so you can really feel all of him. "So, so perfect for me."

He feels your lips pecking at his neck again and his arms wrap around you, taking complete control as he bounces you down on him. You don't have any time to warn him that you're about to cum before you're cumming. It pushes him right over the edge and he cums inside of you.

"Shit," he groans when he can think again. You're putty in his hands, letting his limp cock rest inside of you, no want to move any time soon. He pushes your face up with a few fingers at your chin. Your eyes are so heavy that they're barely open. He's proud of himself. "I'm sorry, baby."

"What?" you worry, eyes flying open. Did he think this was a mistake? Were you only a fuck to him? You can't go back now, not when you know how good he fucks you.

"I didn't mean to finish inside." Your heart rate returns to normal and you drop back down onto his shoulder, shrugging. You like it. His brain is spinning. His hands rub soothing circles on your back before he's working you off of him, cooing when you hiss at the overstimulation of him pulling out.

"Love you, Rem," you mumble as he helps you get comfortable in bed. He can't resist pressing a kiss to your forehead before reaching over and turning your lamp off.

"Love you too."

#remus lupin #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x you fluff #remus lupin x you angst #remus lupin x you smut #remus lupin smut #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x reader angst #remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin x reader smut #remus lupin x y/n smut #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x y/n angst #remus lupin x y/n fluff #angst #fluff #smut #marauders era angst #marauders era fluff #marauders era smut #marauders #marauders era #marauders angst #marauders smut #marauders fluff #harry potter #marauders era fanfiction #marauders fanfiction

[mediocre-daydreams]

𝐭𝐰𝐨.    𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞

remus lupin x animagus!reader

𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚢, 𝚒 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠

summary: you and the marauders find out about remus' condition. you tell remus you love him and he friendzones himself. despite remus' protests, the four of you plan on secretly becoming animagi.

notes: no warnings except a few swears and mention of werewolf attacks? use of y/n (i'm sorry i've given up it's so hard to write without using it), crackfic moments

w/c: 3.9k

･ﾟ⋆☾*･ﾟ.・。.*゜✭・･ﾟ✫・⋆。.

and if it were an open-shut case, i never would've known from the look on your face; lost in your current like a priceless wine

“he’s been like this all week,” peter grumbled to sirius. the two boys were spread out on james’ bed (he was at quidditch practice and the two wanted to take advantage of his lush jaberknoll feather comforter).

“if you mean bloody irritating, then yeah, for sure.”

“talking about me, are you?” a squeak of the door hinges alerted the two gossipers of their fourth roommate’s presence. remus grinned. “irritating, am i?”

sirius pinched the bridge of his nose. he sat up so he could face remus. “yes, irritating! you’ve been snippy and i still have a damn bruise from when you punched me!”

“you took my chocolate! the expensive stuff too!”

“in my defense, it was-”

peter rolled his eyes. “but seriously, remus. you don’t talk to us at meals, you run off to the library every time we’re all free, and you weren’t even excited about tuesday’s prank! you love transfiguring things!”

remus sighed, sitting atop his own bed. “i suppose you’re right. i’ve just been… stressed, that’s all.”

sirius perked up and he looked at remus sneakily. “what is there to stress about, lupin? your grades are fine. unless it’s not about grades, but something else that starts with a g…”

remus furrowed his eyebrows. “gastrointestinal issues?”

peter slapped his forehead. “no, you bloody idiot! girls.”

remus frowned. “well, for your information, madam pomfrey gave me this potion that really helps with my stomachaches. so…”

sirius shook his hands, similarly to how a stereotypical italian chef would pinch their fingers together and shout mama mia! “don’t be daft, lupin. we’re talking about y/n. now that’s a gastrointestinal issue if i ever saw one.”

“sirius… what are you on about?” peter looked revolted.

“uh, i dunno. it sounded better in my head. does she give you butterflies, or what? that could be… a stomach problem, yeah?”

sirius was saved from further mocking about his unfortunate comparison by the door slamming open to reveal a damp-haired james. james, who was holding his glasses in one hand, ran up to sirius and peter and shook his head, spraying water all over them. he slipped on his glasses to get a better look at his annoyed friends and smiled proudly.

“someone’s got stomach problems?” james hopped onto his own bed with a bounce of the mattress. “y’alright, remus?”

“seriously, i’m fine.” remus shot sirius a warning look before the latter boy could make a pun about his name. “it’s nothing.”

“it’s not nothing! we’re talking about y/n!” peter interjected.

james was surprised. “y/n? what’s she got to do with remus’ stomach problems?” james thought for a moment. “merlin, did she poison you or something?”

sirius jumped to his feet, wobbling slightly from all the shifted weight on james’ mattress. “lupin has a crush on y/n, you wanker! girl! problems!”

james’ confusion immediately bloomed into a smug set of raised eyebrows. “well, well, well, if it isn’t our new resident casanova.”

sirius was slightly offended.

remus blushed, his knee beginning to bounce rapidly. peter laughed at remus’ obvious discomfort.

james’s eyebrows raised as he remembered remus’ reaction to you sitting in his lap; the way he’d blushed when you whispered in his ear and how he stammered in front of you at the library. he leaned in conspiratorially. “so, tell me all about your relationship with the lovely y/n…”

--

“damn it!” you hissed, scooping up your dropped books as quickly as possible. you weren’t doing anything wrong, per se, but your plan for afterward was bordering illegality and life-threatening.

well, you thought, i’m living in a castle of blood supremacists amidst a potential war, so isn’t everything illegal and life-threatening these days? that was pretty sturdy logic, right?

“mugwort!” you all but shouted at the fat lady, who scowled at you. “sorry,” you tacked on as an afterthought. 

you clutched the books tightly to your chest, wary of dropping them or having somebody see what exactly they were about. bounding up the stairs two at a time, you banged on the the gryffindor boys’ dorm with a demanding fist.

james opened the door to find you, chest still heaving, with a look of determination so strong and furious that he had to take a step back. “woah, what’s goin’ on? y’good?”

you nodded impatiently, pushing james aside so you could walk into the room. “sirius, peter, i need- oh! remus! i didn’t- ha, what are you doing here?” you laughed awkwardly.

remus looked at you oddly. “i- i live here?”

you wanted to slap yourself. “of course, yes! whoops, i forgot about that,” you chuckled breathlessly. “my bad! uh, do you think you could… leave? i have to talk to peter, sirius, and james about something important,” you cringed. “alone.”

remus’s lips parted slightly and you could see the sadness flooding his eyes, though he didn’t voice it. he took a deep breath and pursed his lips into an uncomfortable smile, before nodding wordlessly. swinging his satchel over his shoulder, he left without a goodbye.

“what in godric’s great grandmother was that about?” peter huffed, eyes still on the door that remus had just exited from.

“i say this with so much love, but shut the bloody hell up.” you slammed three books onto the dorm’s floor dramatically. waving at the remaining marauders, the four of you gathered around the pile in a loose circle. patting the thick hardcover at the top of the stack, you cleared your throat. “boys, this right here is the culmination of three and a half sleepless nights.”

“and a half? how can you have half a-”

you glared at james. “what did i say? anyway,” you flipped open the cover of the first book, which the boys recognized as the book that remus had helped you find on the top shelf. “it’s newt scamander’s focused encyclopedia on transformative magical creatures! he does fantastic work, by the way; you must take a look-”

sirius opened his mouth to interrupt but you slapped his knee. “sorry, i’m focused again. right, so i was nearly finished with the book—just before the due date too—when i got to the second to last creature in the W section. werewolves.” 

peter squinted at you. “i don’t mean to- sorry, why are you showing us this?”

you groaned. “are you all stupid? read the damn page!”

you waited as the three boys skimmed through the scarce pages that comprised the werewolf section. well, you tried to wait. “do you see what i mean? it’s a little odd, don’t y’think?”

the three marauders were completely puzzled. “oh my godric, doesn’t that sound like remus?”

sirius burst into laughter. “are you- are you suggesting that remus lupin is a werewolf? that man won’t even kill a spider! he folds his damn socks! you think he’s a werewolf?”

you cracked your knuckles anxiously. “i’m not joking! don’t you see? things line up—he gets sick at least once every month, and it’s always around the full moon-”

peter studied you suspiciously. “how do you know that about him?”

you faltered. “i- i just pay attention. a lot. to people, in general. it’s not that i pay extra attention to him or anything, that’d be so creepy. i’m just observant, s’all.”

james shrugged, satisfied with your answer. “okay, but there have never been werewolf sightings on campus. how would that even work? he obviously can’t become a werewolf in our room, but it’s not like he can sneak out to the forbidden forest every month and not get caught. plus, there’s never been any mangled animals or anything. there’s just no proof.”

sirius nodded. “and even if he was a werewolf, there’s just no way he could hide it for 5 years. not if dumbledore’s around! the only way any of this could even remotely be true is if dumbledore knew about it, which he definitely doesn’t.”

you wanted to tear your hair out at your friends’ blind loyalty. “look, i’m not saying being a werewolf is bad, but dumbledore must know and he must be helping remus! dumbledore’s always been… unconventional, and if he trusts remus, then we should trust him too. i’m just saying, this all feels a little too coincidental, that’s all.”

peter exhaled loudly. the three of you turned to him sharply. “what? i’m just breathing.” he looked around nervously. “okay, fine. i hate to say it, but i agree with y/n. we can’t be sure for certain unless we ask him, but she’s right. this could actually be something.”

“have you asked him?” sirius stared you down, stone-faced.

you gulped. “uh, no. no, i have not.” taking another look at sirius’ icy glare, you threw your hands up innocently. “i’m sorry! i just put everything together, and my book is due tonight, so i had to tell someone before i returned it to madam pince, and you lot are his best friends so i thought that-”

“it’s alright, y/n,” james reassured, placing a hand on your shoulder. the pressure was comforting. “we’ll figure it out together. what are the other books for?”

you brightened, more than happy to share your findings. “this one is an autobiography of one of greyback’s survivors, and this is Level Five: XXXXX Ministry Classified Beings.” you flipped through to different pages you’d flagged, passing them around.

“this looks… where’d you get this? it looks pretty official,” sirius wondered, flipping through the second book with reverence.

“um… the restricted section?” you squeaked.

“nice!” james raised a hand to high-five you. you’d never been more grateful to be friends with boys who found toeing the line of magical legality as underage wizards entertaining before.

“see, it says that when not in werewolf form, the person could take on any characteristics. so it would be perfectly possible for remus the human to fold his socks and for remus the werewolf to howl, and whatnot. plus, the wolfsbane potion allows the person to retain their human memories during transformation! so if we asked him, he’d be able to tell us.”

“but should we ask him? do you really want to?” peter grimaced, sucking air between his teeth. “isn’t this slightly invasive? i feel like we’re reading his diary, or something.”

sirius, who’d been adamantly against the mere notion of remus’ possible lycanthropy, was surprisingly silent. you studied him, trying to gauge his thought process.

“remus is our friend. he’s a marauder. if he is a werewolf—if—we’d support him, right?” sirius’ gaze flickered through each of his friends’ faces questioningly, lingering a little longer on yours.

you nodded. “lycanthropy is painful and isolating and if he truly is a werewolf, wouldn’t it be better to have people on his side? people who could help and take care of him?”

peter and james nodded affirmatively.

looking sirius straight in the eye, you concluded. “i swear to merlin, i would never betray remus’ secret. i lov- i love him as a friend and i didn’t do all this reading for nothing,” you gestured to the books. “but i have to know. i- i’m going to ask him.”

--

“rem?” you whispered. you’d snuck out of the girls dormitory after your roommates had fallen asleep to sit on one of the common room couches in hopes of catching remus returning from his prefect patrol. a creaking of the portrait alerted you to his presence. “rem!”

“lumos,” remus muttered, moving his wand through the air to investigative. “y/n?” 

“yeah, hey! it’s me.” you patted the cushion beside you. “c’mere, i need to talk to you.”

remus’ heart began pounding in his ears. how did you find out about his crush on you coincidentally timed interest in magical creatures? hesitantly, he lit a candle and sat stiffly beside you.

please, remus pleaded, can we just get this over with so i can avoid you forever and mope in peace?

“sorry for keeping you up so late. i wanted to see you as soon as possible and i wasn’t sure when the next time i’d be able to catch you alone would be.”

oh shit, remus cursed. here it is. the rejection. she’s letting me down easily by doing it in private. godric, she’s so kind. even when she’s friend-zoning me…

“it’s alright, love. go on.” why did i call her- argh, screw me.

you broke his gaze, cheeks heating at the sweet nickname. “uh- you remember that book i checked out last week, right? the transformative magical creatures?”

remus nodded. how could i forget? you were going to read about class 5 beasts—me—and i accidentally suffocated you with my jumper. unfortunately, it was very memorable.

“right… so i was reading it, of course, because books were meant to be read,” you giggled nervously, fiddling with your fingers.

remus’ eyes jumped to your hands. nerves were either a good sign or a really bad sign. knowing his luck, it was probably the latter.

 “there’s this section on werewolves—it’s very brief, despite scamander being an absolute genius; oh merlin, he’s just incredible—sorry! i checked out a couple more because of… personal interest. and- fuck, i’m so sorry. this is going to be so awkward,” you fussed. “ack, alright. i just noticed that there are a lot of similarities in… lycanthropic symptoms and- and you.”

you couldn’t meet remus’ eye. he couldn’t tell though, because he wasn’t looking at you either. the two of you stared at the ground. you noticed that remus was tapping his foot again.

remus choked, only bouncing his leg faster. your face scrunched in concern and in an attempt to reassure him, you placed a gentle hand on his knee as an encouragement to relax. when you made contact with him, however, remus practically jumped from his seat and scampered away from you, creeping backwards with his hands in the air.

“no- no, i’m not- why would you? where did you get that idea?” he breathed, eyes big and terrified.

“i’m sorry!” you wailed. “i’m sorry, i don’t want to invade your privacy. you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. i just want you to know that… even if you had lycanthropy, i would still- it’s okay. i’m still here for you; i’ll always be.” you took a shuddering breath. “i love you lots, rem.”

remus bit his lower lip, tugging at the skin which had begun to peel there. what did he ever do to deserve such a loving friend like you?

“you- you don’t understand.” remus paced, tugging at the roots of his hair. “no, it’s not okay! i could fucking kill someone! you read those books, so you know just as well as i do that i’m a beast. i’m a class five monster.”

your eyes darted across remus’ face as his expression slowly sunk, realizing he’d inadvertently given himself away.

“fuck!” he hissed, collapsing into an armchair and burying his head in his hands. “fuck.” his voice came out watery and weak.

your heart cracked. “rem, can i- can i touch you?” you inched towards him cautiously, hand slightly extended. “please, i’m not going to hurt you.”

remus flinched away and you pulled back instantly. “i’m not scared that you’ll hurt me,” he murmured. “i’m scared that i’ll hurt you. you should be scared of me too.”

you pouted, crossing your arms. “remus lupin, damn you! damn you if you think i’d be scared of ya’, you ol’ softie. mr. gramps, who annotates his cookbooks and has a teddy bear. i’m sorry rem, but you couldn’t be scary if you tried.”

remus smiled nervously, peeking at you from behind his fingers. when he saw you staring him down relentlessly, he lowered his hands. “you have to promise not to tell anyone,” he whispered hoarsely.

you froze. “well, funny story…”

--

“absolutely not!” remus barked. then he winced at his own volume. “absolutely not.”

“but whyyy?” sirius whined, batting his eyelashes.

“don’t give me your damn puppy eyes, it’s not going to work,” remus huffed.

the four marauders were standing around remus’ bed, as if they were judges in a courtroom and remus was the defendant.

“because i said so!” remus rubbed his temples, wishing he’d paid more attention to madam pomfrey when she explained the spell she used to alleviate headaches.

“lupin, we’ve done dodgier things before. we’re making an illegal tracking map, for godric’s sake. that’s pretty damn illegal. this whole animagus thing is like a walk around the black lake,” james reasoned. he looked, in no way, disturbed by this conversation or the severity of the marauders’ plan. (well, the marauders minus remus.)

“i would rather give up chocolate than have the three of you gits get yourself killed.”

“really?” peter chirped. “i call the chocolate frogs then! i’ve got a good card collection going.”

sirius slapped peter’s arm.

james rolled his eyes. “alright, grumpy. someone’s been particularly moody of late. oh my godric—my astronomy homework!”

“what in the-”

“this is not the time-”

“the full moon is in five days! aww, is our little moony moody?” james teased, pinching remus’ cheek. remus did not find this very funny.

“moody moony! that’s a good one, james!” peter chortled.

sirius nodded slowly, an appreciative grin slowly growing on him. “moony. i like that. right, well here’s the deal, moony. we,” sirius waved at peter and james before pointing to himself, “are going to visit you in the hospital wing after every transformation—and i don’t want to hear any protests—and you are going to let us know how we can help you. we’re brothers; marauders. we’d rather die than leave you.”

peter steeled his resolve. “moony, i’d sooner die than betray you. your secret is safe with us.” he pressed his hand to his heart, and the other boys followed suit. remus turned his head to subtly wipe away tears that threatened to spill and turn into a full-on sob. though the other marauders noticed, they didn’t comment.

when remus turned back, he had a dark, intense look to him. “no matter what,” he muttered gravelly, “you do not let a single word of this slip to y/n. you tell her nothing about what we just discussed. it’s enough that she knows about… my condition. i don’t want her to get swept up in all your stupidity. she’s a smart girl—stubborn, though. i don’t want her doing something she’ll regret.”

sirius’ eyes jumped to peter, who seemed to understand. as usual, james was not on board. “but-”

“nothing. she’s to know nothing about this. i don’t want her coming to the hospital wing, knowing about the whomping willow, or the shack, or- or anything. do you hear me?” remus stood straight to his full height, which was greater than any of the other marauders. he appraised james with no trace of humor. “do you understand me?”

“yes, sir!” james smirked, saluting sarcastically.

remus sighed. it was just like his friends to turn a life-threatening affliction into another reckless display of comradery for the sake of this “marauders” title. he appreciated it, he really did. he just wished that the four of them could prove their loyalty to each other in a way which didn’t potentially end in remus murdering or mauling his brothers.

--

“y/n!” james yelled, waving his hands in the air to catch your attention over a sea of students rushing to their next classes.

“what?” you stood on your toes to catch sight of him. there, with his glasses crooked and arm around sirius, was james. “what is it? i have potions!”

from your distance, you could make out peter chastising james and sirius. james shook his head. you assumed peter had told him to shut up, or something along the lines of “save your theatrics for after the school day.”

“fine! meet us in… the library! don’t tell moony! i mean, remus!”

you shook your head, perpetually lost at their childish antics, and continued on with your classes as if nothing had happened.

the library was busier than usual. fifth, sixth, and seventh years were beginning to prepare for their exams and mock exams, which meant a scarcity of available seating and a crabbier-than-usual madam pince.

“over here!” sirius whispered loudly, beckoning you with huge arm movements.

throwing yourself onto sirius’ lap and knocking the air out of him, you stared at him pointedly. “what’s so important that you had to make me late to potions?”

james mumbled words under his breath, probably to mimic you. “you’re just as bad as mo- remus is.”

“oh yeah, and what’s up with ‘moony?’”

“uh… nickname!” james squeaked.

“really? and it has nothing to do with- wait,” you narrowed your eyes, scoping out potential ears. “it has nothing to do with his lycanthropy?” you whispered, so softly that you might as well have just mouthed it silently.

“alright, smartie. you caught us.” sirius mussed up your hair and you swatted his hands away. “so moony told us not to tell you this, so naturally, we’re telling you this. basically-”

james gasped. “wait, we’re telling her this? you never told me that!” peter punched himself in the head multiple times. “that’s the whole point of meeting here, james? godric, are you alright? i’m getting a little concerned at this point. ‘ave you been hit by a bludger? do y’have a concussion?”

james pursed his lips and looked at his lap, scorned.

sirius raised his eyebrows at you and mouthed “ignore him.” sirius hit his chest a couple times as if he was about to make an important announcement, but he kept his voice quiet as he spoke with his lips against your ear.

“the full moon’s in four days. the night before, remus goes up to the hospital wing and pomfrey takes him down to the whomping willow. there’s a secret passageway that leads to the shrieking shack—y’know, the one in hogsmeade. he stays there for the night and pomfrey brings him back in the morning.”

you frowned, swallowing thickly. “and he’s all alone? for the whole night, trapped in that dilapidating shack?”

peter tutted. “yup. however, we have a plan.” he waggled his eyebrows, and you knew you were going to be roped into the most outrageous plan you’d ever heard, regardless of whether you wanted to be involved or not. you didn’t need to hear what peter was going to say. if it was for remus—for moony—you’d do it in a heartbeat.

“animagi!” james exclaimed, wanting to be involved. he slapped a hand over his mouth, head whipping around to check if anyone had heard. sirius looked at him disdainfully.

“animagi? what do you mean, you want to ask animagi about their transformation rituals? mcgonagall’s an animagus, but i highly doubt it’s anything similar to a full moon transformation-”

“no, we’re becoming animagi,” peter stated factually.

your jaw dropped. “we? who’s we? you lot? or all of us, including me? ‘cos i dunno about you, but i don’t think the ministry’s going to take well to four underage wizards asking to become animagi for no apparent reason. they’re going to poke around; that is, if they even approve the process in the first place…”

james beamed. “and that’s why we’re not going to tell anyone about it!” your jaw dropped further. “you’re going to commit an azkaban-level crime?” the three marauders nodded confidently. you shook your head. “you’re all insane… i’m in.”

none of you noticed remus' figure pass by between bookshelves.

･ﾟ⋆☾*･ﾟ.・。.*゜✭・･ﾟ✫・⋆。.

taglist:

@yourallihave @cowboibeepbeep @im-a-slut-for-fluff @bambamwolf87 @emmaev

#wherever you stray i follow #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin x reader angst #remus lupin x you fluff #remus lupin x you angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin angst #remus lupin series #marauders series

[melodramaschild]

𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

Navigation || Remus John Lupin

Warnings: HtC, reader has speech defect and glasses (one mention), school bullies, anxiety attack, crying, happy ending, my English, I feel like this one is wrong

Let me know if I forgot anything

Words count: 892

Read me: If you see any mistakes, please let me know. English isn’t my first, not even second, language and reminding me of some mistakes would help a lot. Also, feel free to reblog.

“Hey hey hey! Slow down! Are you okay?” Remus chuckled and his hand reached out for you to stop you while you were running to your dorm.

“No!” you shouted back and shut the door behind you with a loud bang that it could shake with the whole castle.

(❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧ ♡*.✧

(❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧ ♡*.✧

(❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧ ♡*.✧

Remus quickly squeezed himself before the door closed and got into your room, standing nervously next to the door.

He was observing you as you quickly moved around your room. As you threw your backpack around the room, as you took off your jumper from your body, as your body wrecked under the power of your helpless sobs.

“Touch or words?” he asked when he saw you sobbing into a tissue.

“And don’t even think about you bothering me with that.” he stated with a raised point finger, already knowing your cruel mind.

“T-to-touch please.” you stuttered through heavy sobs as your tears created a river on your flaming cheeks.

“Okay, come here, darling.” he said and opened his arms, waiting for you to find him as a boat found their lighthouse. You quickly stepped closer and leaned into his warm touch.

“Hey, wait for a bit.” he chuckled and took off your glasses, putting them in the pocket of his jumper.

He wrapped his arms around you and swayed with you a bit across the room in an attempt to calm you down while your tears were soaking his clothes.

“Shhh, it's gonna be alright.” he whispered into your hair and led you to your bed and sat down with you, pulling you closer until you were curled up in his lap like a little bunny.

He pulled you even closer that now your head was resting on his shoulder.

“What happened, little one?” he asked after a while, his fingers stroking your wet cheek.

You took a few deep breaths before speaking.

“It, it happ-happened a-again.” you stuttered, voice weak and scared from the earlier experience.

“They made fun of you again?” he asked, reassuringly.

“Y-yes.” you couldn’t help but you bursted into tears once again. It wasn’t fair.

He leaned back against the wall with you in his lap. He took your blanket with dinosaurs and hooked it around your shoulders, wrapping you in that blanket like a butterfly into a cocoon.

“Just cry, my love, let it all out.” he whispered and stroked your quivering back.

“Just let it all out.” he whispered and rocked you from side to side like a baby. Which helped.

When you just cried more and more and your breathing stuck in your lungs he made you look at him. Hooking his fingers under your chin and looking into your eyes.

Your eyes were full of non-ending tears, your face was bright and hot due to crying and over oxygenating, tears streaming down your face and running under your chin on his hand.

“Alright darling, I need you to take a deep breaths, can you do that?” he asked and you nodded, mind became a bit hazy but he was still there, like your personal lighthouse.

He took your hand and placed it on his chest, wanting to feel you how calmly he was breathing.

“Take a breath in.” he said and you did that.

“Hold your breath.”

“And slowly out,” he said and you slowly exhaled, your breath tickling your hand on his chest. “just like that, darling, just like that.” He praised you and brought his other hand to stroke your cheek.

“And one more time.” he smiled at you.

“Inhale… hold it… and out.” he said and you did what he told you.

“There we go, good job, love, such a good job.” he praised and you hummed in comfort, closing your eyes for a bit.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” he asked, trying not to push you.

“I-I had a recitation a-and I g-got nervous and I s-started s-stuttering a-and and and then-then-the-the-”

“Shh, you don't have to talk anymore.” he whispered and pulled you back into his arms, locking you in his presence.

“I totally know. And it's not your fault that you have a speech defect, and it's definitely okay to have it. You did such a good job with everything and I'm so proud of you, my love.” he assured you with words and a bunch of kisses on your forehead. And temple. And nos. And cheeks. And anywhere you wanted them.

At this point you weren’t crying anymore and you let him hold you while some tears fell from your closed eyes.

You felt yourself getting tired after this whole day and after crying and Remus knew. He still held you close and let you slowly drift into your dreams.

“There you go, just fall asleep, I'll be with you for the whole time.” he whispered so silently and gently while his lips brushed against your temple.

He leaned more against the wall so now you were lying on his chest, your hands around his shoulder, holding him so tightly like a koala and like he was supposed to disappear in a minute. Holding you so close like you were the most fragile thing in the whole world. Like you were the gem of a whole universe. Holding you like no one was allowed to talk to you ever again because none of them deserved it.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x reader angst #remus lupin x reader fluff #professor remus lupin #professor remus lupin x reader #professor remus lupin x reader angst #professor remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x you angst #remus lupin x you fluff #reader with speech defect #reader with glasses #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x y/n fluff #remus lupin x y/n angst #professor remus lupin x you angst #professor remus lupin x y/n angst #professor remus lupin x y/n fluff #professor remus lupin x you fluff #professor remus lupin x you #professor remus lupin x y/n

[strawberrysodaslut]

Gagging On Soft!Dom Remus for the First Time

18+ for smut

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You pull back, coughing and gasping for air like you were smoking. Remus looks at you almost sheepishly.

“baby- fuck- please be careful, don’t wanna hurt your pretty throat.” Remus says, still reeling from the feeling of you gagging around him.

You look up at him, determination peeking through your teary eyes “I can take it.” you say, guiding his cock back into your mouth, ready to try again.

❛ ━━━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫･━━━━━━━━━ ❜

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[ellecdc]

PART 2 PLSSSSSSSSSSS

I need the comfort

ok ok ok ok ok mother's here - I've fixed it for you. Don't say I never did anything for ya 😉

part two of Mistake: poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

CW: angst, hurt and COMFORT read part one here

Remus felt like he’d just been slapped. In fact, he was sure that if he looked in a mirror, he would see a red welt in the shape of your hand across his cheek. 

Lupin?

You haven’t called him that since...well since you started dating. As a matter of fact, he can’t remember the last time you referred to him in any way other than some sickly-sweet pet name that he pretended embarrassed him, but he secretly preened at. 

I’ll see you around.

What the hell did that mean? What just happened?

He felt stuck...perhaps he should go after you? But you told him to go check on Sirius: make sure he’s okay for me, yeah? And he meant what he had said – the three of you would be back to normal in no time. They’d catch up with you tomorrow.

Remus tried to replay every interaction you had tonight. You had asked how their days were...he replied and asked how yours was. Should he have asked you first?

He should have asked you first.

You tried making conversation, but Remus was so hyper focused on Sirius’ mood – afraid that he’d do or say something out of pocket that would hurt your feelings – that each attempt sort of fell flat. Remus had been there before – he’s witnessed Sirius’ tendency to self-sabotage and ruin a good thing once he finally has it, and he didn’t want that to happen again. Not with you.

He knew what Sirius really needed was some quiet; a chance to ponder and lament angrily inside his own head without outside influence.

Maybe they should have cancelled – rescheduled your study date for another time. Clearly his effort to protect you from any negativity was in vain.  

But it was just a bad day, a blip, a one-off. You would all get some good sleep tonight and reconvene tomorrow.

Right?

Maybe he should have followed you.

But by the time he could manage to pry his feet from the floor of the library that he felt cemented to, you were gone. 

He would just have to talk it out with you tomorrow.

Remus entered his dorm to find Peter already asleep on his bed, James finishing the Transfiguration essay that was due tomorrow morning on his own bed, and both Remus and Sirius’ beds empty. 

“Pads around?” Remus asked James quietly as he began to shuck off his uniform. The quiet tone was mostly for courtesy’s sake knowing Peter could sleep through a stampede of hippogriffs.

James peered at Remus from above his glasses before nodding his head towards the bathroom door.

Sure enough, Remus found Sirius leaning against the shower stall with his eyes closed as the water cascaded around his form. 

“You almost done, love?” Remus asked gently. Sirius spooked slightly as he turned to look at Remus; his eyes were red and glossy...he had been crying.

“You didn’t stay with her?”

Remus fought the urge to grimace, to heave, to turn around and run. He opted to gently shake his head. “No, she... said she got most of what she needed to do done.”

Sirius seemed to consider that as he sighed. “Was she terribly upset? I didn’t...I didn’t mean to be an ass. I know James always says I’m quick to take it out on others – I tried really hard not to, honest. I swear it, Rem I-”

Remus began shaking his head as he moved towards Sirius. He could tell by the smell in the bathroom that Sirius had already washed his hair and there were no more suds on his body, so he turned the water off and handed Sirius a towel. 

“You were fine, Sirius. She’s – she’s fine.” He lied.

He lied. He lied to Sirius. About you.

But how could he look Sirius in the eye right now – Sirius who was currently standing naked, soaking wet, nearly hyperventilating, not over his disgusting parents but because he was afraid that he may have upset you – and tell him that between the maybe seven minutes since Sirius had left the library and now, Remus had completely mucked it all up?

The answer was: he couldn’t. He couldn’t look Sirius in the eye and admit that he may have just sabotaged your relationship.

It’s going to be fine. He tried to tell himself. We’ll fix this all tomorrow.

You felt beyond childish, hiding in your dorm room like some toddler throwing a temper tantrum. But you had decided last night that what you really needed was space. Some breathing room. A chance to see this from a different lens. A different perspective.

And you couldn’t do that when your heart was breaking. And being around Remus and Sirius felt like that right now.

It felt heart breaking. 

And perhaps that was your answer right there. If this was causing you heart ache, why were you doing it to yourself? To them? You didn’t deserve that, and neither did they.

But it wasn’t just this you were worried about. It was more than just this relationship – it was the friendship that preceded it. It was the meshing of you into their circle of friends. You were their friend long before you were ever their girlfriend. You wouldn’t just be losing Remus and Sirius: your boyfriend’s; you’d also be losing Remus and Sirius: your friend’s.

Maybe you should have thought about that before you said yes.

Suddenly, you were a little angry: they had asked you to be their girlfriend – not the other way around! Why would they put you through all of this for, what? For...

Was it really for nothing?

“Are you coming to breakfast?” Shelby asked you quietly from the door. You shifted your head on the pillow to make eye contact with her. “No, I’ve got some things to work on. I think I’ll hang out up here today.”

She seemed to consider you, eyes squinting and mouth pursing before she offered a curt nod. “I’ll bring something back for you then.”

You smiled gratefully at her. At least you knew if you did lose Remus and Sirius, you would still have friends who cared about you. 

Sirius spent most of his life believing he’d never be worthy of nice things. He was raised by monsters which meant he was a product of monsters; he was basically a monster.

He knew that the Black Darkness was always simmering just below the surface. It was archetypal of Black’s to explode; to lace their words with venom and strike at their victim, always aiming for the jugular. It had been Sirius’ own M.O. for his whole life. He had nearly lost everyone who ever meant anything to him on account of it. He had almost lost Moony.

Which is why it was so important to him that you never end up the latest victim of his Black Darkness. He was so afraid of disappointing you, letting you down, making you feel unloved. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to live with himself if he slipped – if he said something or did something to make you hate him. 

And it wasn’t just you he was worried about hurting; he knew if he hurt you, Remus would likely never forgive him.

Remus may have forgiven Sirius for his Darkness once; he didn’t want to risk trying for a second time. Sirius felt he’d hit his threshold for forgiveness – one more sin and he’d be on his own, surely.

So, he walked away. He tried to do it nicely – to excuse himself politely, assure you he’d be back in no time. 

But he still left.

It was cowardly. 

He needed to talk to you.

Which is why Sirius could be found that morning sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, knee bouncing frantically under the table and his body turned towards the entrance – waiting for you to make an appearance.

Except, you never came.

“Wait, Shelby just walked in without her. Where is she?” He asked despondently, turning towards Remus. 

Remus watched as Shelby and a few of your other friends sat at their usual places without you. “Come on.” He said quickly as the two of them stood and made their way over.

“Hey Shelby. Do you know where Y/N is?” Remus asked quietly, hoping his guilt didn’t permeate his tone. Unfortunately, under Shelby’s scrutinizing glance, he was sure he had been found out. 

“She’s in the dorm.” She said flatly, looking between the two boys. 

Sirius exchanged a glance with Remus before continuing. “Erm, do you...do you know why?” 

Shelby furrowed her brows “all she said was she had ‘some things to work on’ and that she’d be in the room today.”

Remus hissed under his breath and pulled Sirius aside.

“Pads, I’m sorry, but I think-”

“What is going on?” Sirius interrupted.

“Last night, I... I think Y/N was upset?”

“Upset? With me?” Sirius asked, shame worming its way through every cell in his body. 

“I don’t know. I... I don’t think so. But she...she said she’d ‘see me around’ and then called me Lupin.” 

All blood drained from Sirius’ face as he considered Remus’ words.

See him around...see him around!? What the hell did that mean? Did you not plan on seeing them again? Oh gods...you never planned on seeing them again.

“Rem...” Sirius breathed out, leaning against a pillar for support.

“I know, I don’t-”

“Good grief, what’s gotten into you two?” James commented as he walked into the Great Hall with Lily, who opted to carry on in her search for Regulus as James took in the state of his two friends.

“Well? What’s got you in such a twist?” He pressed when neither boy offered an explanation.

“It’s Y/N.” Remus admitted.

“She’s leaving us.” Sirius blurted.

“Okay, we don’t know that.” Remus conceded.

Sirius scoffed. “Well, she basically told you to go fuck yourself last night and now she’s avoiding us; what do you call that?”

“She didn’t tell me to go fuck myself!”

James groaned and rolled his eyes before grabbing Remus and Sirius’ shirts and dragging them over to the Slytherin table.

“That’s it. You guys need to talk to Regulus.” James muttered.

“Regulus?!” Sirius sputtered, looking at James incredulously. “I’m not asking my baby brother for relationship advice.”

“You’re not asking for relationship advice. You’re asking for his perspective on his own relationship.”

“Ew! That’s worse! I don’t want to hear about my baby brother’s relationship with my adoptive brother.” 

“Oh for- you are going to listen to Regulus’ perspective on what it’s like being added to a polyamorous relationship last.” James pressed, tone implying no nonsense. 

Sirius (unwillingly) and Remus (placidly) were dragged to the dark side (read: the Slytherin table) to be read their Miranda Rights have their asses handed to them by one Regulus Arcturus Black. 

“Reg, dear. I’m begging, pleading, on my hands and knees: put the poor sods out of their misery.” James said as he bodily sat Remus and Sirius on the bench across from Regulus.

Lily snickered and poked her nose into Regulus’ cheek, causing the youngest Black to blush, though the rest of his face remained stoic as he sized Sirius and Remus up.

“What have the two of you done now?” He drawled. “I can’t help but notice one third – arguably the better third - of your little trio is missing.”

Sirius scoffed, though he didn’t argue – Regulus wasn’t wrong per se; he loved Moony, but you were indeed the best of the bunch.

James cleared his throat pointedly as he shot Remus and Sirius a look.

“Right, er” Remus started awkwardly. “We seem to have, uhm. I mean to say that-”

“Why does Y/N hate us?” Sirius spat, slapping a hand over his mouth immediately afterwards as if those words had fallen from his mouth without his consent.

“Y/N? As in your girlfriend, Y/N?” Regulus asked, moving his eyes between his brother and his brother’s boyfriend.

“Yes, as in our girlfriend.” Remus muttered.

“What did you say to offend her?” James asked unhelpfully.

“Do you think if we knew that, we’d be here right now?” Sirius spat back. 

“No, I don’t think that.” Regulus answered for him. “What I think has probably happened is she’s feeling terribly insecure in your relationship and neither of you have done anything to help her.”

Well that shut Sirius up... Sirius noticed that Remus was pretty quiet too.

“Were...” Sirius asked, grimacing when he looked over at Lily and James knowing this was teetering slightly into the realm of things-he-doesn’t-really-want-to-know-about-his-brother’s-relationship-with-his-best-friend territory. But damnit, Sirius was as desperate man. And desperate times called for desperate measures. “Were you terribly insecure when you started dating...these two?” Sirius sneered the end of his sentence earning him a ‘hey!’ from Lily and a solid whack up the back of the head from James.

“Yes.” Regulus answered simply.

“Why?” Remus asked, looking desperately close to pulling out his notebook to take notes. Scratch that, Sirius watched as James swallowed a teasing remark when Remus actually pulled out a notebook to take notes. 

“It’s hard coming after. There’s a part of your brain that convinces you that you are second best; that you’ve somehow come in second place. If that’s not bad enough, then you begin spending time with two people who already have history, already have a connection, and already have a rhythm that doesn’t leave much room to pull you into the mix. And if it does pull you into the mix, you end up feeling terribly guilty for disrupting that rhythm. It’s all quite difficult.”

Sirius’ mouth hung open at Regulus’ demure tone on what sounded like a really heartbreaking situation. 

“Let me ask you this,” Regulus continued, unawares of Sirius’ inner dialogue (which consisted mostly of panicked ‘oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods). “How has your relationship – between the two of you – changed since you added a third?”

Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance before looking back at Regulus. “Uhm...not, really?”

“Not much at all.” Remus admitted more clearly.

“I see...” Regulus said, narrowing his gaze. “And how much time have each of you spent with her individually without the other present?”

Regulus got his answer in the form of awkward silence. 

“How did either of you expect your relationship to work if neither of you were willing to change the nature of yours in order to help it grow?” Regulus spat. 

“Well...” Remus started, but his sentence died when he realized there was nothing to say. 

“But...you stayed? Why?” Sirius asked his brother.

At this, Regulus’s face fell as he gave Sirius a sad smile. “Because of how we were raised, Sirius. I was so excited to be wanted, even for a moment, that I was willing to beg for scraps of whatever I could sink my claws into. She doesn’t strike me as that kind of girl.”

James and Lily looked forlorn as the latter placed her hand on Regulus’ shoulder consolingly. 

“It didn’t hurt to have the walking definition of unconditional love and the smartest, most intuitive witch I know to notice any discontent on my part.” He admitted shyly, earning him a smack of a kiss on the cheek from James.

“Gross. You guys are sickening.” Sirius muttered petulantly.

“So?” Lily interrupted what was close to becoming a squabble between the two Black brothers. “What are you guys going to do?”

Remus sported a determined expression as he looked to Sirius. “We’re going to make it right.”

Shelby stood by her word and brought your breakfast. She also brought you lunch, and then dinner. But by the following morning, she was tired of playing the role of house elf.

“Alright, are you going to tell me why you’re avoiding Lupin and Black?” She asked plainly, plopping herself down uninvited onto your bed.

“Wha-? I’m ... I’m not avoiding them.” You lied poorly.

“Please; don’t spit on my muffin and call it frosting, Y/N. You’re obviously avoiding them.”

“I...ew?”

She groaned and fell onto her back in defeat. “Please, for all that is holy, tell me why they’ve been following me around like kicked puppies hoping I’ll take them to their master?”

You rolled your eyes and turned back to your book that you held open but had never been reading. “Yeah, I’m sure they’re real upset.” You muttered.

“That’s it.” She spat and plucked your book out of your hands, throwing it over her shoulder unceremoniously. You cringed to think about how Remus would feel seeing a book treated in such a way.

“I was reading that!”

“Don’t lie to me again.” She said, levelling you with a ‘no nonsense’ look. “Spill.”

You sighed deeply, looking toward the window to try and find the words you’d spent the last 24 hours trying to formulate. She never rushed you for your answer, giving you all the time you needed. 

“I feel insignificant.” You admitted finally.

“And?”

You turned to face her, bemusement painting your features. “What do you mean, and?”

“And... have you spoken to them about it?”

You felt a little embarrassed to admit that no, you hadn’t.

“Why not?”

And that simple question seemed to set off all the emotions (mostly frustration) that simmered beneath your surface.

“Because Shelby. Because I don’t want to have to beg for love and affection. I don’t want to have to tell people how to love me; they should just already love me. I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding in someone else’s relationship. I don’t want to have to point out that I’m here and I’m hurting. It’s mortifying. I... I think I’m just done.”

Shelby nodded in understanding before she stood from your bed. “Then you need to finish this today. No more hiding in your room being angry by yourself, and no more letting them sniff around the castle like dejected little runts. Put all three of you out of your misery.” 

It was your turn to nod as you too stood from your bed, ready to face possibly one of the most heartbreaking days of your life.

But Shelby was right; it was time. 

The worst part was that Shelby had been telling the truth; Remus and Sirius did look like kicked puppies. 

The second you had entered the Great Hall you heard a crash of knees against benches and cutlery clashing as Sirius clumsily tried to vacate his seat in record time to make it over to you.

“Y/N!” He called, as if you could have missed the racket he made just prior. 

He looked gaunt – like he hadn’t eaten or slept enough (in the only less than 48 hours) since you’d seen him last. His eyes were red and a little swollen, like he’d been rubbing at them.

You immediately felt sick with guilt; if he really was struggling with things with his family, the last thing you wanted was to add to his stress. But Sirius was looking after himself, and Remus was looking after him too; someone needed to think about you. You had to look after yourself.

Remus didn’t look much better, approaching the two of you much more slowly, hardly making eye contact with you as if you’d lash out at any moment. You had to admit that it annoyed you a little bit.

“Hi Sirius.” You offered, voice grating over the sudden tightness. “Remus.”

Some of the tension seemed to leave Remus’ shoulders as he made an effort to make eye contact with you.

“Can we talk?” He asked timidly. 

You knew what was coming, what was happening, what you yourself had come here planning to do.

But it broke your heart nonetheless.

“Sure.” You whispered, and exited the Great Hall without waiting to see if they were following you. 

You walked into an empty classroom and leaned against one of the walls as Remus and Sirius closed the door behind them. They shared another look and stood opposite of you.

More secret conversations. You thought bitterly. And doesn’t this just paint a lovely picture; them versus you. 

“Y/N. We, uhm...we’ve been talking, and we realized that...that maybe we haven’t gone about this the right way.” Sirius started, looking at Remus continuously as he addressed you. 

We’ve made a terrible mistake. 

“We didn’t take into account the ways in which our relationship would have to change in order to make the three of us work” Remus added.

We didn’t realize how much you’d take away from us, you heard

“We feel like we’ve been unfair to you, and... we’re really sorry.” Sirius concluded, looking like his heart had been ripped out of his rib cage. You supposed that would make sense, considering that’s how you currently felt yourself.

It probably hurt all the same to them – they’d be losing the friendships the three of you had created too; the friendship you had with Remus, the friendship you had with Sirius, and the fun the three of you had all together. But you still loved them, and the last thing you wanted to do was to interfere in their relationship.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” You admitted finally. “It was just a mistake.”

Remus’ head cocked to the side like a confused puppy whilst Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed. “Well...I, I’m not sure-” Remus started but was cut off by Sirius.

“Wait, Y/N, what exactly do you think the mistake was?”

You looked between the two of them as you lifted your shoulder. “I... I guess including me?” You stated as a question.

Sirius actually sputtered as Remus stepped towards you, stopping himself seemingly before he made to grab you.

“No! No, Dove. That’s not a mistake!” He insisted.

“Are you kidding? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to us – no, no. This...wow, okay. Can we start from the beginning, please? Why do you think this was a mistake?” Sirius managed to (barely) get out.

You looked to the ceiling, eyes stinging at the reality of having to voice your hurt. “Because” your voice came out embarrassingly high. “Because it-it felt...better when we were friends. I didn’t feel...in the way. And it felt easier. Just - I didn’t mean to come in between you, and I never...” you cut yourself off, quickly moving into hyperventilating territory. 

“But-”

“It’s not a mistake!” Sirius shouted, cutting Remus off. “This wasn’t a mistake! You weren’t a mistake. I... okay. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, that’s true. But I don’t consider that a mistake. Not you, never you.”

“It was a surprise; a happy accident.” Remus added hopefully shy.

You felt drunk...dizzy...beyond confused. Weren’t they breaking up with you? Weren’t you supposed to be breaking up with them!?

“I think it was easier when we were friends because we weren’t putting so much pressure on ourselves to get this right.” Sirius explained.

Remus nodded and continued. “Sirius used to get so jealous if I got to hang out with you without him if he was at practice – took us a while to figure out that it was because he wished he was the one hanging out with you. When we started dating, I guess Sirius and I figured we’d just make sure to always hangout with you together so that neither of us felt left out. But we never even thought about how that must’ve been making you feel, dove. I’m so sorry.” 

“Regulus read us our rights.” Sirius admitted abashedly. “He pointed out that the relationship between the three of us will only work if our relationships with each other are strong. And we didn’t make our individual relationships with you a priority – that was our mistake, Y/N. Not you.” 

“Our mistake was believing you would just ‘catch up’ to where we are – which is years in the making – and also expecting you to somehow do that on your own. It was selfish and thoughtless.” Remus stressed

The things they were saying made sense and spoke to your very soul, but you couldn’t shake off this lingering feeling of dread.

“I... I should have said something... about how I was feeling.”

Sirius sighed, but it was Remus who spoke. “I think all of us could have done a better job communicating, that’s true. But we should have been more considerate. We asked you to join us, dove; we should have made that easy for you to do.”

“To think how much grief we’ve caused ourselves, when we could have just solved this all with a conversation.” Sirius mumbled dejectedly. 

“We’re not too late, are we? To solve this?” Remus asked quietly. Sirius’ eyes looked like they were close to popping out of his skull as he stood and made for you, grabbing your hands pleadingly.

“Oh gods, Y/N. You... you were breaking up with us, weren’t you? You thought we were breaking up with you?” His voice sounded very close to a sob.

“Please...please dove I- I don’t know that we deserve it, but please give us a chance to make this right, to do this properly. Give us a chance to love you the way you deserve.” Remus begged, moving to stand in front of you with Sirius, though he controlled his urge to grab your hands. 

You looked between the two boys; the two boys who you’ve been basically in love with for so long – the two boys who have proclaimed to feel the same way about you - and wondered to yourself again:

Have we made a terrible mistake?

Remus’ golden eyes shimmered with compassion and warmth, and Sirius burned fiercely in devotion and promises.  

Had you made a mistake? Falling in love with them?

No.

Perhaps Remus was right. Perhaps this was a happy accident.

“Okay.” You whispered. Remus exhaled the breath he’d been holding while Sirius’ face morphed into a small, hopeful kind of smile – far shyer than you were used to seeing from the boy.

“Okay?” He asked, moving his hands up from your wrists to your shoulders.

“Yeah... I-I don’t want to lose you guys.” You admitted wetly, a tear betraying you as it fell down your cheek. Sirius was quick to catch it with his thumb.

“Never, dove. Not if I can help it.” Remus promised. 

You believed him.  

taglist: @cyripticchronicler @orphicmortala @hcqwxrtss123 @ssc7514 @misacc08 @ashie-babie @milkyasteroids, @maqqiekwon @daisiesformylove @littlenerdybee @allllium

#ask elle #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #poly!wolfstar #poly!wolfstar x reader #poly!wolfstar x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #angst #hurt/comfort #ellecdc fics

[moonstruckme]

love the doctor!remus content!!!

would love to read about him in a similar setting as the last request u did, where reader doesn’t tell him she‘s had to go to urgent care (maybe she lost her phone) and he‘s in his big scary attending mood but the moment he steps into the room and realizes reader is the patient he goes all concerned and cooing and all the interns are confused as to what happened to calm collected and kinda cool doctor lupin :((((

Thanks love!

cw: hospital, mention of stitches

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

You can hear him talking as he moves down the line of small curtained-off rooms, your heart contracting at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice but too shy to interrupt him while he’s working. Remus’ tone is clipped and all business, and you can tell by how quickly his voice draws closer that he’s striding toward you in that brisk way he does when he’s busy. 

“This one’s already been treated,” he’s saying to someone, “so we’re just checking in before discharge. Let me ask some of the necessary questions first, and then we’ll ask the patient’s permission for you to ask some as well.” 

He looks nearly imposing as he whips open the curtain, clipboard in hand and a gaggle of what you guess must be residents on his heels. That all drains away, along with the blood in his face, when he sees you. “Dove?”

“Dove?” you hear one of the residents echo bemusedly. 

“Hi,” you say sheepishly. 

Remus steps toward where you sit on the bed, concern etched into the twin lines between his brows. “Honey, what happened? You” —he looks down at his clipboard, flustered— “you got stitches in your hand? What’d you need stitches in your hand for?” 

You glance between the many sets of eyes in the room, self-conscious in the face of so much attention. “I cut myself,” you answer quietly. 

Remus lowers the clipboard, looking devastated for you. “Why didn’t you call me?” he asks, but the reprimand in his tone is barely detectable behind all the fondness coating it. He holds out a hand. “Let me see.” 

You give him your hand obediently, doing your best to follow his example and ignore the murmurings from your small audience. He’s painstakingly careful as he removes the bandages to reveal your cut. It looks far better than it had when it had been bleeding all over your car on the drive over, but Remus still coos like it's the most grievous injury he’s seen in his career. 

“Seven stitches?” His lips turn down into a pout. “What’d you do to yourself, dovey?” 

You see one resident’s eyebrows fly up at the sappy pet name, exchanging a look with the one next to him. 

“I was trying to cut up the squash I bought last week,” you explain, unsure if you’re supposed to be talking to the room but directing your words only to your boyfriend, “and my knife slipped. I was going to call you when it wouldn't stop bleeding, but my phone died. I didn’t have time to charge it before I came.” 

Remus makes a gruff, reluctant sound of approval. “Well, I’m glad you came but I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you. Did it hurt very badly?” 

“Not really,” you lie quietly, but one of the residents behind you goes, “Doctor Lupin, is that one of the necessary questions we’re meant to be asking?” 

You flush, and Remus shifts modes in an instant, his look severe as he turns on the smart aleck. “No,” he says drily. “But this is still the portion where you’re meant to be quiet.” 

You sort of feel for the resident as they nod abashedly. Remus countenance warms again as he turns back towards you. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he says, still cradling your injured hand in his.

“It wasn’t too bad.”

“Baby.” Remus’ brows scrunch together, the sympathy in his eyes almost too much for you to bear. “I can tell you’ve been crying, darling.” 

“Remus,” you chide embarrassedly, looking again to the residents gathered behind him. 

“Ah.” He drops a hand to your knee for an apologetic squeeze, turning to face your observers with more of an authoritative air. “Go find somewhere else to be,” he tells them. 

They scatter like mice, and Remus huffs when the last one out doesn’t shut the curtain, stepping away from you to draw it closed himself. 

“Sorry, I sort of forget they’re there sometimes,” he explains, but he’s already doubling down on the sweetness now that they’re gone, bringing your injured palm to his lips for a very, very gentle kiss. “Did you cry while they stitched you up, honey?” 

You might cry again now if he keeps looking at you like that. “A little,” you admit. “I was being a tad dramatic.” 

“I doubt that,” he says, thumb stroking lovingly over the line of stitches before picking up the bandage and beginning to rewrap it. “Hand wounds are no light thing. It probably bled a lot, hm?”

“There may be some cleanup waiting for me in both the kitchen and my car,” you joke. Remus gives you a small smile for your efforts. 

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of it when I get home.” He finishes bandaging your hand and leans in to kiss your cheek. When he pulls back, his eyebrows have bunched again. “You’ve got mascara tracks on your cheeks,” he murmurs, cupping your face and brushing his thumb over the plane of your cheekbone. “S’breaking my heart.” 

“Sorry,” you say bashfully, and he rolls his eyes at you, pecking you again on the cheek like he can’t help himself. 

“What’re you sorry for, hm? Well,” he seems to reconsider, “you ought to be sorry about your knife skills, but that’s an apology you owe yourself, not me. I’ll be stowing all the knives where you can’t reach them from now on, by the way.” 

“First you’ll have to deal with all the residents you just disillusioned,” you tease him back. “Seems like they used to think you were cool and blase, but not anymore.” 

Remus shrugs. “People are multifaceted. If they didn’t know that already, then I taught them something today after all.” He gives you another soft look, though it’s far less worried than the others had been. “My poor darling,” he laments, setting his hands on either side of you to plant one final kiss on your forehead. “Rest here for a bit, and I’ll come get you in a few minutes, yeah?” 

“Okay, thanks,” you agree readily, happy to have a ride home considering the state you left your car in. “Gonna go try to restore your street cred with the residents?” 

“Dove, don’t be silly,” he says on his way out. “They worship me.” 

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