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diegowife · 11 months

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Guts ( GOLDEN AGE ARC )

Guts As Your Boyfriend SCENARIO

No Warnings

A Bit Yandere ¿

Part 2 ( NOT CONNECTED ): Post-Eclipse

• First of all, his other comrades could gape in disbelief seeing someone like you, kindhearted and gentle, deserve a fierce man like Guts.

• In spite of his intimidating presence, it was difficult for them to accept that he could indeed be your boyfriend as all he does is brandish his sword and ruthlessly slaughter any human that crosses his path on the battlefield.

• PDA is something that Guts despises. Its presence, particularly in public, is something that he would certainly find quite awkward. Unsolicited neck kisses from you are also something that he strongly disapproves of.

• In private, his affectionate nature truly reveals itself. Displaying his profound fondness towards you in the presence of his comrades is not his preference. Nevertheless, it is essential for everyone to be aware that you are exclusively his alone.

• In the forests, the only setting where he feels comfortable showing affection towards you publicly (restricted to just the two of you), he doesn't hesitate to embrace your waist. Occasionally, he enjoys teasing you.

• He also adores clasping your waist and drawing them near.

• In the initial stages of the relationship, the only terms of endearment he utilizes for you exclusively consist of ‘Dumbass’ and ‘Jerk.’ This should come as no unexpected revelation.

• Upon reaching a state of comfort, he consistently addresses you with the customary term while incorporating either ‘Love’ or ‘Babe’ depending on his mood.

• Engaging in his physical touch involves allowing him to place his head on your lap while you delicately run your fingers through his hair. It is also experienced when both of you intimately intertwine your fingers.

• Seeking comfort from your touch is the sole method to alleviate his concerns, which consistently proves effective.

• Before embarking on the mission commanded by Griffith, he adored the gentle and tender quick kisses on your lips.

• “Take care, yeah? I will not be dead, I promise.”

• Other than that, he may display reckless behavior and may not even show concern for offering an apology.

• In every debate, he is swift to lay blame on you and incessantly strives to emerge victorious, even though he is often the one who started the argument.

• Despite his stubborn nature, he refrains from criticizing or belittling you when engaged in an argument. To illustrate this, he does not resort to using derogatory terms such as ‘dumb,’ ‘stupid,’ or ‘fool.’

• “Tch, y'know, I have reached my limit with the nonsense you constantly spew. Don't talk to me again and deal the problems with yourselves this time!”

• However, his words are not intended to be taken seriously; they are simply a dramatic expression because the next day, he would present you with a quantity of fruit collected from a tree and placed in a bucket as an earnest gesture of apology.

• The bestowal of gifts is not a preference for Guts; his offerings consist solely of flowers plucked from the garden or a handcrafted floral crown fashioned only during his leisure moments. Indeed, he does not possess an inclination towards bestowing presents.

• “Dumbass, at least I got a present for you. Why are you even complaining?....”

• In spite of everything, Guts inevitably starts feeling envious when witnessing your increasing intimacy with his allies, especially Griffith. Even though Griffith is Guts' closest companion and depends on him, Guts remains uncertain about allowing you to interact with him.

• Guts becomes aware that both genders exhibit great enthusiasm toward Griffith and regard him with reverence akin to that of a God. Guts has his reasons for discouraging you from spending too much time with Griffith; who can say if you'll end up becoming a devoted fan of Griffith in the future?

• One time, during your conversation with Griffith, Guts unexpectedly approached the two of you and forcefully pushed you aside.

• Noticing Guts becoming sullen and defensive is truly precious. Nevertheless, your genuine displeasure arises due to the fact that you exclusively perceive him as the only person with whom you can communicate.

• “Why the hell are you spending some time with that twink?!!? I'm literally right here!”

• Occasionally, Guts can exhibit rather confusing behavior sometimes. On one occasion, he may display intense passion towards you, while on the following day, he might become perplexed if you attempt to establish more comfortable with him, catching him off guard.

• “Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?”

• “Why did you try to kiss me?!”

• Exist of having a partner or in a relationship seems to slip his mind, almost as if it disappears from his thoughts. It wouldn't be fair to hold him accountable for this oversight; perhaps it's a result of the immense fatigue he experiences while engaged on battlefields, hindering his ability to grasp his thoughts accurately.

• In addition, Guts held a deep concern for your well-being. Take, for example, how Judeau and Corkus extended an invitation for a shared wine drink. However, Guts swiftly confiscated the bottle, forcefully shattering it on the floor.

• “Don't you ever dare to accept anything from what my comrades gave you.”

• He strongly advises against you engaging in any potentially dangerous activities without his knowledge. Ultimately, he fears the consequences that may arise, envisioning a situation where you end up succumbing to intoxication, mirroring the experience of his late father.

• “I don't want you to be as pitiful as my old man back in the days....”

• Guts observe his peculiar sense of pride when Y/n is unexpectedly praised for the noticeable growth of his muscles or when he emerges victorious from a duel. He dismissively chuckles, portraying himself as the utmost embodiment of strength, impressing his partner.

• Demonstrating his biceps and measuring himself against others is his preferred method of flaunting his strength, allowing him to observe your entertained response proudly.

• “Me? Strong? Nah, I ain't really that strong. But keep in mind, I'll be the last man standing on a battlefield!”

• When it comes to sharing food, Guts is highly possessive. He refuses to relinquish the final portion of food to anyone else.

• “Nope, get it yourselves....”

• In order to provoke him, the optimal method and most effective tactic is to approach his fellow companions, such as Pippin and Rickert, and engage in the act of food sharing.

• Upon witnessing Pippin and Rickert tenderly feeding you food as if you were a little girl, an intense surge of anger welled up inside him.

• With a firm approach, Guts would seize your wrist, voicing his frustration, “What on earth are you doing!?” It was as if he had conveniently forgotten his own unwillingness to share food with you.

• On the other hand, if he discovered you crying, he observed as you concealed your face within the depths of your knees. An expression of confusion caused his brows to elevate, prompting him to playfully poke your head multiple times.

• “The hell you cryin' for?”

• Regrettably, he failed to acknowledge that his actions simply exacerbated the situation. With a sense of agitation, he clumsily tousles his hair as he finds himself unfamiliar with the task of comforting others.

• Besides, he never had anyone comforting him, so he's obviously shit at it.

• “Gahh... how do I deal with this...”

• When your head rises, instantly his gaze falls upon your face, where red and swollen eyes meet his sight. Observing you in such a state causes a momentary pause for him; a sense of tranquility overtakes him as he descends and bends down alongside you.

• Witnessing you in such a state inflicts upon him a sensation akin to a sharp blow to the chest. The brewing question in his mind is, what if the fault lies upon his shoulders?

• “Hey, now, I don't like seeing you this way. Tell me exactly what happens.”

• Instead of yelling at him to leave, he anticipates your outburst, yet you continue to sob incessantly.

• Having a lack of aptitude in offering advice, Guts excels in the art of listening. He remains attentive to every expression and release of emotions you convey. Not once did his attentive listening falter, ensuring that your words were never overlooked.

• He'll let you bury your face into his chest and enables you to cry your heart out.

• Therefore, with a heart full of warmth, he will greet you with his most radiant smile while gently patting your head.

• ”Crybaby. Smile; you're adorable when you smile more.”

• In the midst of slumber, Guts will unanticipatedly carry you in a bridal style, gently cradling you in his arms, to an undisclosed destination amidst the woodlands.

• The destination to which he will take you remains uncertain. This gentleman is inclined to lead you up the hills, near the river, or perhaps even closer to the summit of the mountain to instill feelings of fear within you.

• Occasionally, he would drop you off under the tree as you and he sat together, allowing both of you to marvel at the crescent moon illuminating the night sky.

• Throughout the night, a transformation would take place within him, causing him to adopt a gentle demeanor. This shift in behavior can be attributed to the absence of people and the serene night air that envelopes him.

• During cuddle sessions, Guts will softly press his lips against your jawline, all the while gently caressing your cheeks with his thumb. The warmth and comfort of his hugs are undeniable; whenever his tender touch graces your skin, you experience an overwhelming sensation of melting in his presence.

• Murmuring sweet words to you is his habit before dozing off to sleep.

• “Tch, you never fail to steal my heart..”

• “I feel so safe with you; it's embarrassing...”

Thank you so much reading !

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idk-maybe-i-did-it · 5 months

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This is for the survivors

TW: PTSD, sexual assault and trauma

nobody talks about the rougher side of PTSD.

like how your trauma could be ‘not as bad as someone elses’ even though everyone’s trauma is different and nobody needs to compare because it’s unhealthy even though a lot of survivors do anyways (me) and that’s not the rougher side im talking about

im talking about how maybe it wasn’t as bad and maybe ‘nothing actually happened’ because its ’not as bad’, im talking about how that’s what we tell ourselves and that’s why we pretend we don’t feel any symptoms and that’s why we mask

im talking about how, yeah no penetration actually happened, but the physical memories still exist all over my body. im talking about how even though ‘nothing actually happened’ and i dont get nightmares about the actual event, i get the physical memories.

I am talking about how nobody talks about the fact that when assholes are invalidating us, they fail to notice that even though ‘nothing actually happened’ we can still feel EVERYTHING, we can still remember EVERYTHING THROUGH OUR BODIES, we might forget in our brains but the PHYSICAL PAIN AND THE PHYSICAL TOUCH IS STILL LIKE A WHISPER ON MY SKIN

I am talking about the rougher side of PTSD where it’s the most invisible side ever that you can’t explain, where even though ‘nothing actually happened’ it doesn’t stop my mind from imagining everything actually happening with random ass people in my life.

nobody talks about the terror, the absolute Terror that grips your heart when you can feel the memories on your skin. Nobody talks about the terror when you think about some random person on the street taking advantage, nobody talks about the unhinged thoughts of Something happening again with Anyone you See.

nobody talks about the pain.

this post is for the people who invalidate themselves and say ‘nothing actually happened’, ‘I don’t get nightmares’, and ‘it’s not that important’ because I want you to know that I fucking see you. I can see through all the lies and all the faking it.

You are hurting.

It is okay.

Please do not downplay your symptoms, maybe not everyone can understand but there will always be someone who wants to help.

please just tell that little person inside you that it is okay to acknowledge how you are feeling. please tell them it is okay.

#ptsd mention #complex ptsd #sa survivor #SA #trauma #rant #I’m breaking #please help #ptsd #actually ptsd #tw ptsd #living with ptsd #ptsd vent #ptsd awareness #ptsd problems #ptsd recovery

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psychocitysblog · 11 months

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If I died would anyone even care?

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oddlittlestories · 7 months

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Hey can I collect your favorite Kutner headcanons

Mine are

- he loves any snacky food. Popcorn. Grapes. Cereal. If it’s easily palatable and he can pop it in his mouth he loves it.

- night owl, but not super night owl. If he could set his own sleep schedule, it’d be 12a/1a - 8a/9a.

- still has PTSD dreams sometimes & wakes up w a particular symptom

- permanently touch starved bc trauma made it hard for him to touch ppl or let them in but he’s a super snuggly dude

- should own a dog. would love a very excitable creature like a Frenchie or a Border Collie. Does not own a dog bc he thinks he couldn’t care for it well with his job

- afraid of chihuahuas

- loves cheesy carnivals but gets nervous in the mirror funhouse

- believes in aliens (something something math except he just high key believes in alien sightings) & wants to go to Roswell

#house md #lawrence kutner #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #headcanons #house md headcanons #dogs #chihuahuas #ptsd #ptsd mention #food

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babystarker · 2 months

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peter has ptsd. tony has ptsd. so many people in their life were worried that their relationship wouldn’t work out because of the struggles they both face, when really, that’s exactly why they work. they know when they other needs space. they know when the other needs to be held. when they should check in with their doctor. when they’re having a flashback the other knows just what to do and how to be there for them. that’s why they work.

#starker #max.txt #peter parker x tony stark #peter/tony #ptsd mention

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riseconfessions · 9 months

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"I headcanon that after the movie, Donnie gets PTSD."

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darks-arts · 1 year

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I have made a connection

#my little pony #pizza tower #shitpost #ptsd mention #rarity #peppino spaghetti #friendship is witchcraft #ven diagram

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spielzeugkaiser · 2 years

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[MASTERPOST]

They finally have the talk. Jaskier knows that he won't just spring back from this and be suddenly fine; and Geralt... he's still afraid of overstepping and doesn't feel like the can rob Jaskier of one of the only comforts he has.

#undercover at lettenhove #geraskier #depression tw #abuse tw #trauma tw #suicide tw #suicidal thoughts tw #dissociation tw #ptsd mention #especially for book!Geralt I always got some suicidal ideation vibes and I think Jaskier knows that Geralt can relate in some ways #but it's still unthinkable and unbareable for Geralt to see Jaskier suffer like that #they both need a break (and therapy) so bad

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 2 years

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Genuine question, what’s wrong with the DSM?

[OP refers to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which I mentioned being unpopular among mental health professionals.] Disclaimer: I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a therapist, and I'm not trained in counseling. I'm a social psychology researcher. If a therapist contradicts me, listen to the therapist.

The problem with the DSM as I understand it: a lot of counselors/ psychiatrists/ etc. want to move away from a category- and source-based diagnostic system, toward a symptom-based treatment system. For example, think about Pepto Bismol: you feel nauseous, you chew pink tablets, it ends your nausea. It doesn't matter if your nausea is indigestion or seasickness or lactose intolerance. You match a treatment (pink bismuth) to a symptom (nausea) and don't waste time or money on diagnosis unless that treatment proves ineffective.

A large percent of counselors etc. would like to take the same approach to mental health. So we'd be researching treatments for nightmares (neurofeedback? MDMA?) in the long-term, and giving clients treatments for nightmares (meditation! Ambien!) in the short-term. All without worrying too much about whether the nightmares are caused by General Anxiety Disorder or a phobia or Seasonal Affective Disorder. There are many strengths to that approach.

Only, see, there's this big purple dinosaur holding us back.

[Image ID: Hardcover copy of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, DSM-5, American Psychiatric Association; the title is white text on a purple background.]

So if everyone who uses the DSM also hates the DSM, why does it still exist and why do we keep buying it every time a $100 text revision gets published? Two reasons, in order of importance:

Insurance

Communication

Insurance is, I kid you not, the DSM's #1 reason for existence. American insurance companies won't cover treatment unless it's for a diagnosed illness, and so therapists put diagnosed illnesses on what they'd often be more comfortable describing as "bro, this dude is hella distressed and I'm trying to help undistress him." Note the word American on the cover; other countries have other manuals, and no other country's counselors are as chained to theirs as we are to ours. This means that the DSM helps — yay, affordable therapy! It means the DSM hurts — sets of symptoms get grouped artificially, spectra get split into categories, and diagnosis happens way too early in the therapeutic process.

Another comparison to unmental health: I don't have carpal tunnel syndrome, but my insurance provider thinks I do. I only announce that I don't because I haven't told you who I am or where I live. (If the insurance companies find us... Well, we just won't let them find us. The thing you should know is everyone is getting screwed by health insurance. Yeah, even you.) I have wrist pain and tingling. It has the wrong antecedents for carpal tunnel, and it has weird manifestations — pressure on the base of my thumb causes pain in my pinky — but my OT wrote down "Carpal Tunnel" on the forms because the alternative was a $500+ round of diagnostic scans. No one cares whether my median nerve is inflamed or not; occupational therapy still looks like "try this stretch, that stretch, this brace, that brace, and these activity changes; keep whichever combination makes the pain and tingling go away."

This kind of thing also happens in mental health all the time. Many therapists don't care — and neither should you — if your serotonin levels are low; if you're miserable and an SSRI prevents the misery, take the dang SSRI. If your mother was harshly critical and now you feel panic at any hint of criticism, it doesn't matter whether that better fits C-PTSD or NPD; it matters whether you cope with soothing self-talk or if you cope with alcohol. Put something from the DSM on the forms, and focus on finding which stretches (breathing exercises) make the tingling (panic) go away.

Communication is the biggest strength of the DSM. It means that clients can benefit from labels ("I'm not lazy, I'm ADHD") and consistent standards of treatment can be applied across different clients in different states. The DSM has huge lists of things like "if your client shows memory problems, be sure to check for alcohol abuse" or "if they have self-harm, make sure it's non-suicidal before you do anything else" that are tremendously helpful. It can help therapists who encounter a set of behaviors they've never seen before to go "client is rigid, rule-bound, and lacks insight... huh, looks like I'd better refer them to an OCPD specialist." (It's also the source of a lot of toxic misinformation on social media when symptom lists get taken out of context without that all-important differential diagnosis information, but I digress.)

However, diagnosis should never be the beginning point for therapy — it's impossible to know your client's mind without first building trust and transference — but reliance on the DSM for insurance often forces it to be. Diagnosis should never be the end point for therapy — knowing your perceptions don't match others' because of Bipolar I won't stop you hearing the dang hallucinations — but home use of the DSM often acts that way. Categorical diagnosis is limiting if your therapist is primarily interested in how depressed you are but the Beck Depression Inventory uses an absolute cutoff point for "depressed" or "non-depressed." Categorical diagnosis is useless if over 50% of people diagnosed with a depression are later diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and vice versa. So it's an imperfect book that does a lot of things well and a few things badly, and many of its heaviest users would argue that it shouldn't exist at all.

For further reading, I recommend The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. I don't agree with all the axes he grinds or all the ways he grinds them, but he's got decades of psychiatry experience and is (I hope) predicting the next paradigm shift in mental health.

For instance, van der Kolk argues that it doesn't matter if at intake your client has long blond hair and is named Linda, only to show up the next time with no hair and the name Gerald, only to come next time with short red hair and the name Taylor. The therapist should only be asking "how does the client feel about these changes?" and "what are these changes doing for the client?" If Linda can't remember what Gerald did, then focus on the terrible memory gaps that alter identities create. If Taylor became Gerald to try and please you, then focus on teaching mindfulness and self-compassion. If this is a happily genderqueer person, then figure out why they're seeking help and don't worry about the appearance changes. If this is someone who thinks in absolutes and regards their personality as constantly changing, then work on teaching them to see the world and themself with moral complexity. It doesn't matter whether Dissociative Identity Disorder exists or not; just ask your client what they need and how you can help, then go from there.

Anyway, the DSM is an imperfect solution to a complex problem, and a lot of mental health practitioners view it as a relic of a more paternalizing era. No one has come up with a really good solution for how to remove and replace it, so for now it's the least-bad option.

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sandersstudies · 1 year

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I love watching people play Stardew valley for the first time because they’re just like “aw! Cute! The villagers are sp friendly and nice!”

And then the villagers are like

“I’m a suicidal alcoholic.”

“I’m a war veteran suffering PTSD symptoms.”

“My dad walked out on me and my mother died leaving me an orphan.”

“My mean ex is hounding me to come back to our relationship.”

“I live in a tent in the woods and dig through garbage for food.”

“I’m a stay at home mom but I’m constantly suffering feelings of inadequacy and a desire for freedom.”

“I think my daughter is actually the product of the time I banged a Wizard.”

“My wife left me and cursed the land so I had to trap her eternally in a swamp.”

#alcohol #ptsd mention #alcoholism #suicide #suicide mention #death #death mention #abuse #abuse mention

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diegowife · 11 months

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Guts ( Millennium Falcon / Fantasia Arc)

Guts As Your Boyfriend SCENARIO

A Bit Yandere ¿

Contains MANGA SPOILERS

( REMINDER! ) This is NOT connected with the Golden Age Arc ( Part 1 ).

Part 1 : Pre-Eclipse

• During the relationship, Guts displayed a noticeable lack of enthusiasm and was not particularly talkative. Moreover, he struggled with maintaining lasting romantic connections and admitted to being less than proficient in this domain. His discomfort with ongoing intimate interaction was evident.

• You remain the most significant individual in Guts' life despite the tranquility he experienced while being in your presence.

• Demonstrating his dedication to you, physical contact emerges as the foremost and conspicuous means. Whether through gentle caresses on the head, tousling of your hair, or embracing you from behind, he conveys his affection.

• Despite this fact, when you suddenly embrace him, he may become somewhat bewildered. This could be attributed to the limited experience he had in receiving hugs or displays of affection during his childhood.

• When it comes to processing his emotions or receiving honest declarations of love, he tends to struggle and demonstrate rather unfavorable behavior.

• A favored and swift gesture of Guts is to place tender kisses upon your forehead. Whether in departure or amid a battle with an apostle, this affectionate act brings him joy. The sensation of his lips lightly caressing your warm forehead is also cherished by him.

• Despite being somewhat lacking in terms of kissing skills, he thoroughly enjoys receiving hugs. He finds them particularly necessary, especially during instances when he is actively experiencing a terrifying nightmare or being persistently pursued by a relentless entity within his dreams.

• Insecurity often plagues Guts due to the loss of his right eye and left arm. He is unable to fully perceive your majestic presence with both his eyes, nor can he embrace or cuddle you effectively without his left arm.

• “Never would I be able to cease gazing upon you if my right eye still remained with me...”

• “If there's a way where I could restore my left arm, I would gladly hug you ceaselessly throughout the day, causing you to struggle for breath.”

• In return, the way you indulging him as the little spoon brings him great delight, with little regard for his characteristics or the absence of other features.

• Furthermore, Guts took great pleasure in observing you as you compared your tiny hands to his own. He playfully mocked your stature and expressed his hopes for you to surpass him in height.

• “What a midget. Can you at least grow an inch taller than me?”

• Guts' sleep patterns are usually limited to daytime hours. His neck bore the scars of brands, haunting him with nightmares and causing him to experience PTSD, thus preventing him from obtaining decent rest at night.

• In one of his nightmares, the idea of you abandoning him fills him with revulsion. It seems as though you continuously eluded him or attempted to break free from his clutches, further intensifying his aversion.

• In the same way, his greatest fear resides in the idea of you betraying him, much like his closest companions once did. The notion of placing excessive trust in you fills him with dread, as he is haunted by the possibility of another act of betrayal.

• In his affection, he will always perceive and observe you without any apprehension towards his own well-being. Hence, he continues to regard you as reliable and unproblematic.

• “In this vast world, where thousands of humans and apostles reside, you stand out as an exception. Can I assume that you won't follow the same path as everyone else, will you?”

• When the moment arrived to present a gift, he would frequently seek Schierke and Farnese for suggestions.

• Subsequently, an inventive notion would emerge from their minds, wherein Guts would grant you a mystical stone conjured by the magical abilities of Schierke.

• Upon receiving the stone, Guts couldn't suppress his smile of admiration at witnessing your appreciation for the gift he had bestowed upon you.

• The stone's discovery, he would deceive you about it.

• “It seems that you quite enjoyed it, didn't you? I must say I am pleased about it. If only I could accumulate it further and present it to you...”

• Observing him smile is a rare occurrence, but the subtle curvature of his lips, exclusively directed towards you, instantly sparks a sensation of being uniquely valued.

• Puck, the mischievous little companion, often draws attention away from Guts, igniting feelings of envy within him. Guts' emotions are further aggravated as Puck relishes in mocking him.

• In light of Guts persistently taunting and repeatedly demanding Puck's silence, this can be perceived as an act motivated by revenge from Puck.

• “Y/n, don't waste your time talking with that little shit.”

• “Pardon me! What was that name you just referred to me as, Mr. Nuts The Madman!?” Puck raised his voice, crossed his arms, and averted his gaze.

• Guts also possess a great deal of jealousy towards the excessive concern and care that Serpico, Schierke, and Farnese exhibit towards you. They frequently inquire about your well-being and assume responsibility for your welfare during illness.

• Considering that you don't have any abilities and are just a regular human being... that Guts will protect from the bottom of his heart.

• Isidro, in a similar fashion, will express admiration towards you and persistently request Guts for permission to marry you. Consequently, Guts will proceed to discipline Isidro by subjecting him to a time-out, wherein Isidro will be securely bound to a tree and left undisturbed.

• “Guts! Are you kidding me?! Y/n, help me!!!”

• “Tch serves you right, puny little runt.”

• Furthermore, Guts is a person who tends to overanalyze situations. Whenever he witnesses you feeling upset or, in the worst-case scenario, crying, he will instinctively attribute the blame to himself.

• Your tears are a complete turn-off for him, as they evoke memories of his childhood. Essentially, every aspect of your presence resonates with his youthful past.

• Initially, his curiosity will be piqued upon witnessing you have emotionally broken as you steadfastly decline any form of communication or elucidation with him.

• When he saw tears streaming down your face...

• It will constantly trigger him.

• Perpetually shattering is his heart whenever the thought of it crosses his mind; he holds the belief that he is a disappointment to his late father.

• When witnessing his lover's tears, can the blame be placed on him?

• In the depths of his thoughts, there has been no solace bestowed upon him by anyone. Absolutely nobody. He was firmly deserted, bereft of any companionship.

• In what manner should he navigate people's emotions? It has become customary for him to observe civilians experiencing breakdowns due to the apostle's destruction of their villages.

• In due course, hesitantly drawing you nearer, he envelops you with his arms around your waist and rests his chin atop your head. Subsequently, he proceeds to wipe each tear gently and ensures no remnants are remaining.

• Guts remains indifferent to whether or not you wish to explain to him. It is of no importance to him if you choose not to share or release your emotions.

• To ease your mind, Guts will grant you a portion of a gift he presently possesses once you have settled down.

• "Don't be sad. Take a look at this jewelry that was generously bestowed upon me by Farnese. They serve as a token of appreciation for my courageous role as one of her esteemed warriors."

• After the development of the Berserker Armor, Schierke takes extra precautions to prevent Guts from approaching you in any way. Moreover, she emphasizes the importance of keeping a distance.

• In the presence of your company, Guts harbors a fear of relinquishing control over his Berserker Armor. It is a concern that at any given moment, he may impulsively obliterate you without allowing rational thought to guide his actions.

• Ordinarily, Guts would have an intense anger when an apostle approached and attempted to separate you from him. Ultimately, he would slaughter the vile creature with a single blow of his sword.

• With every moment you drift off to sleep, he is fully conscious of observing each contour of your body. Also, with utmost certainty, he would ensure your safety and prevent anyone from causing harm or separating you from his presence.

• Observing your intense shivering, Guts' left eye widened, prompting him to remove his cloak and tenderly envelop you within its comforting fabric.

• Furthermore, he longed to recline beside you and experience the comforting sensation generated by the warmth emanating from your physique.

• In his dreams, he is filled with fear that if he snuggles up to you, apostles will come after him. Consequently, he may inadvertently unleash his Berserker Armor, losing control over it. This poses a risk of unintentionally harming you while you are asleep.

• While you peacefully doze, he exhibits his capability solely in the gentle stroking of your hands.

• Without your knowledge, he will softly utter something inaudible.

• “I love you, although you can't hear my words right now...”

• “I'll be with you... for eternity.”

Thank you so much for reading !

Sorry if there are any terrible grammar mistakes. English is not my first language.

;(

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blackcurlsgreeneyes · 8 months

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Can't Wait Here Silent // Closed RP

May was a quiet month; the survivors focused on physically rebuilding, and then sharing the monumental task of laying the defenders to rest and sorting the lost enemies. The Ministry was stretched thin as it strove to provide leadership while primarily performing law enforcement, and the Order rose readily to the task of helping round up all who had fought under Riddle to be evaluated.

June began, and brought with it the Trials. Reviewing the lists of names awaiting judgment, Harry mentally found himself categorizing this into three tiers: those were clear and resoundingly to be condemned; those who were fully innocent and would need post-Imperius or blackmail therapy; and the hazy third type, those who had acted under different kinds of coercion or obligation.

Draco Malfoy was the first name he placed on that list, and Harry would not be dissuaded. It was a relief to his core that Ron and Hermione understood; Ron testified all that he had seen at the Manor, and then during the Final Battle, and Hermione was clever enough to get Ollivander's on-record input regarding wand allegiance, providing support for the assertion that only Draco's intentional surrender of the wands would have given Harry the power he had, both escaping the Manor, and in his final showdown with Riddle.

Above all, Harry argued for the influence of psychological and physical torture, unyielding until the Ministry all but collapsed its protests. He did not deny them Lucius Malfoy; Harry sorted him between his first two tiers, believing the man to have gone from devoted loyalist to scared shitless for his wife and son, by the end. Lucius faced yet another Trial, and again went to Azkaban, this time for one year.

And for that one year, they assigned Draco to house arrest at the Manor. He and his mother lived there alone now, with Tonks assigned as a liaison to monitor her kin. Harry heard next to nothing after that, simply confirmations that all seemed well, and life moved on to the rest of the Trials, the funerals, and then slowly turning the page to a new era in the wizarding world.

He had the date marked when that house arrest ended, and it found Harry at the gate of Malfoy Manor, spine stiff as Narcissa came to greet him there. It took three visits before she let him inside, and two more for those to not be silent and awkward hours at the tea table. Finally, she cracked, asking why in Salazar's name he was so insistent; Draco had left the estate the instant Tonks removed his Trace, and he was off the grid.

"No one should be alone," Harry had said, simply, thanking her elf for refilling his tea. "Least of all those who suffered. Draco blames himself, and he'll rot away in that mentality. I did not defend him out of some unwilling sense of requirement. I want him to heal."

Narcissa had stared at him for a long, long moment before asking him to return the next day. When he did, she gave him a parcel of foods and teas, and the information needed to cross into the Unplottable acreage where Draco was keeping a small cottage in the woods near Devon.

He didn't ask if she'd told her son. Harry thanked her, and Apparated there at once, finding when he landed that the air shimmered, and revealed a beautiful little homestead with a thick privacy hedge and gate. It opened to his hand, permitted by Narcissa, and Harry followed the stone path to knock on the little front door, curious if Draco lived completely alone, or if he kept an elf or pet, something for company in the solitude.

#heartscfvalor #Harry x Draco #RP: Can't Wait Here Silent #Drarry #Post War #PTSD mention #Draco has some major issues my good folks #hero complex Harry

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jenroses · 5 months

Text

I'm looking down the barrel of a Really Tough Time and I hate it and every part of it is beyond my control. I actually messaged my therapist to give her a heads up.

I was lying there feeling my heart skipping beats going, "Am I going to die?" and realized the last time I felt this way was PTSD related and I was like, "But I've been okay lately" and then remembered that I'd literally gotten a traumatic email yesterday and had basically slammed it shut and pretended it didn't happen but the body sure does keep score, it sure does.

Did I mention that every one of my health issues is stress mediated and gets much worse when I get stressed? I have to work to not have strong emotional reactions to things and stay calm because like, I literally break out in hives when Bad Emotions happen. Mast cells are weird, yo.

(And this is going to be worse for someone I love and I cannot fix it for that person for the very reason the situation is happening.)

Anyway the world is cruel and sometimes it's generally cruel but this is particularly, viciously cruel on a personal level while not being anyone's fault. It's not being done to me, it just affects me in ways that maim, emotionally.

There is a significant chance that I am going to drop everything and dissociate into audiobooks for my own sanity. Which is funny because "dropping everything" when you already do as little as I do for health reasons is like, "Here, I had a feather, a piece of paper and a bottle of nail polish but they're too heavy now."

But here we are.

Knowing a fuckton about trauma and trauma processing doesn't make going through it any easier. It's like the first reaction, before the real reaction, is, "Fuck, not the kubler-ross stages, AGAIN."

And there's a chance that it will all be fine but even if it's all fine then something I was counting on to last at least a couple more years is failing a couple years early and there is a Large Danger that whatever comes next will be worse, and none of this is in my control in the slightest.

This message brought to you by the "Is it a heart attack or is it a panic attack" happy funride. (It's a panic attack, which does not make it harmless.)

#ptsd mention #mental health #trauma #anxiety and panic attacks

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