#or dissociated

[rosesraeken]

how are you supposed to like…function

#like i’m either void of all emotions #or angry #or sad #or just sobbing #or dissociated #can’t go 2 seconds without some sort of distraction #honestly i’m too tired to even cry today #not even really eating either #possible bpd #bpd #autism #autistic #actually autistic #actually bpd #quiet bpd #neurodivergent #vent

[stuckinapril]

#Me and the girls we dissociate every few days

[the-toybox-sys]

reading the symptoms of autism as a now grown adult after being bullied for no explainable reason all your life

#? #did system #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #actually autistic #autism #audhd #asd #neurodivergent #autistic #neurodiversity #autism creature

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

#muted #memory issues #adhd #actually adhd #dissociative amnesia #amnesia #memory loss #dissociative identity disorder #what other things cause memory issues #ptsd #i can't think of anything else #reminder #positivity #neurodivergent #neurodivergent positivity #memory problems #ice speaks #i tried to include as many experiences as i could think of #but out of everything i tagged i only have adhd so i probably missed a lot of stuff #so feel free to add your own experiences! #brought to you by... uh ironically i can't remember what prompted me to write this #something my mom said. i don't remember what it was tho

[caintooth]

seeing people my age talk about how scared they are of memory loss, which they only associate with old age, is so surreal to see as a 24 year old who has actively experienced memory loss for a long time now

there are causes for memory loss besides dementia and alzheimer’s, i hope y’all know that. dissociative disorders, trauma, brain injuries, thyroid problems, even just stress and lack of sleep can fuck up your ability to store, process, and access memory. and that’s just a few of the many causes i can think of off the top of my head right now.

please stop treating disabled people like some scary “other” that you might become only in the distant, decades-away future. we are your age, too. you may become one of us sooner than you know. stop acting like memory loss marks the end of a life, when so many of us have so much living left to do!

#diary #memory loss #memory disorder #dementia #alzheimers #dissociative disorder #dissociative amnesia #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #trauma #brain injury #memory #amnesia #actually dissociative #complex dissociative disorder #osddid #osdd system #dissociative system #other specified dissociative disorder #did system

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

#hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #analysis #dissociation #look idk what to tell you all #I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense #when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations #he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything #literally I've been there #the difference between him and me tho #is that he can't show it #he's the king of hell #he has to bluff his way through conversations #but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind #and watch him reply to the things he DID catch #anyways #NEW BLORBO???? #who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel #and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character #I love him #he's so sad

[met4lwhore]

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle

#bpd safe #bpd favorite person #bpd #bpd splitting #dissociative identity disorder #dissociation #self isolation #borderline splitting #paranoia #neurodivergent #mental illness

[blue-as-the-languid-skies]

today I finally shared a few lines from one of the many poems I’ve marked in one of many poetry books I’ve bought. I’ve been meaning to do that and I even made a whole blog for it but I just .-. haven’t. I don’t want to do much but I’m always doing shit I don’t want to be doing. so today I decided to say fuck my to-do list & I only did things I wanted to do (for the most part, anyways). and yeah, I needed it.

[on all of my poetry books] I’ve had to stay away from the ouchy ones cause they make me wanna die a little more sad. so they’re shelved for now & I’m sitting with a few that are more hopeful and positive cause lord knows I need more of that shit rn. (thank you @AprilGreen cause Bloom for Yourself has been lovely to read through)

//

I still feel like shit but at least they’re marked for when I’m ready to //feel// the happy / positive ones :}

#just looking out for future me yanno #when I drag myself out of this pit of dispair and misery and dissociation #I’ll have all these nice things waiting for me #// I have so much to do but I’ve finally burnt myself out cause I did too much too consistently #trying to avoid time to sit and drown in my feelings #but it’s making me frustrated and irritable and snappy #or dissociated #or all of the above. everything all at once #so anyways. today I watched aot and refused to respond to anyone #and I made tea even tho I didn’t want to (it was yummy btw) #and I’m with two very good dogs until Sunday which is v nice #I wish I could sleep .-. #personal #shitposting to the vOiD #nobody cares go to bed #I used to message my best friend when I posted things anywhere on social media & had no one looking at it #like stuff I wanted to share that no one saw #and I’d ask her to go like my post and she would and I’d feel nice for the 1 heart & knew it was my friend I loved #but we don’t talk anymore. so sometimes I think about that when I post stuff and yeah it blows #I always find things I want to send to them both. my ex and my ex best friend .-. #it’s hard and v saddening to not have people you love in your life anymore #especially when everything reminds you of them #like…if it’s not one it’s the other. and I wish I could let it go #or that the reminders were not so constant #…in my head this was all very logical and flowed and then I read it all as tags and i sound like a squirrely nutjob #my brain is a mess #so sorry about alllll of that lol

[rustybutterknife]

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system

#my bf does not have DID but I like to tell him that he’s microdosing polyamory #system tag #did system #plural system #osdd system #traumagenic system #sysblr #dissociative system #system stuff #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #actually dissociative #other specified dissociative disorder #complex dissociative disorder #dissociative amnesia #dissociative alters #dissociative identities #did memes #did #did osdd #did alter #did community #actually did #hc did #plurality #pluralgang #plural community #plural stuff #plural memes

[feralkitten420]

"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

#bpd problems #daddysbabybrat #bpd #bpdfeelings #bpd thoughts #dissociated #actually borderline #borderline splitting #borderline personality disorder #mentally fucked

[chalkrub]

i know he ate a cheese

#my art #pokemon #maushold #pokemon scarvi #scarvi #i named my maushold suds n duds. in my mind the little baby mausholds are actually just made of cloth and the big mausholds knitted them #they're not evil but they go into a dissociative state and commit atrocities #like eating a whole choese #maushold the best pokemon ever made. i think it can digging in the ground for tubers #personally

[worms-in-my-brain]

People with psychotic disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with personality disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with substance abuse disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with tic disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with bipolar disorder are neurodivergent too.

People with dissociative disorders are neurodivergent too.

Neurodivergence isn’t just ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression. (Plus those last two also get left out sometimes!) Neurodivergence is anything that affects your brain.

“Neurodivergent people hate loud noises” is actually just as valid as a statement as “neurodivergent people have delusions,” “neurodivergent people have tics,” or even “neurodivergent people have low empathy.”

#neurodivergent #aspd safe #npd safe #bpd safe #personality disorders #cluster b #cluster b safe #cluster c #cluster a #dissociative disorders are neurodivergencies #dissociative #osddid #did #osdd #tourettes #tic disorders are neurodivergencies #tics #bipolar disorder #substance abuse disorder

[thecorvidforest]

boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”

#corvidforest vent post #i wish ppl would stop acting like it’s some awful traumatizing burden to know us #dissociative identity disorder #did system #osdd #personality disorder #intellectual disability #psychosis #vent #vent post #tw vent

[inbredlamb]

#distant memories #meme #funny stuff #schizoposting #funny memes #dank memes #derealization #ghost #dissociation #artwork #renaissance art #beautiful photos #ethereality #ethereal #how im tryna be

[thattheater-kid]

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

#did system #plural #actually plural #plurality #system things #actually did #plural system #system metaphor #traumagenic system #dissociative #actually dissociative #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative system #no syscourse #syscourse neutral

[powerrangersystem]

#actually did #system things #osddid #dissociative identity disorder #actually mentally ill #system memes #did #mental ill meme #actually bipolar #actually bpd