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ksyongi · 2 years

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oh god ... for the life of me i cannot get cheol in that tiktok with the 95 liners and hoshi out of my head. he looks so much like a senior frat boy from your college with that fit too, oh he can knock me out anytime. so i'm here to request a short fic abt that hehe any genre would do but can it have like a mutual pinning kinda vibe 😳? thanks love your works! - 🍜

loving ur brain rn 🍜 anon, i mean,, they all looked super sexy in that tiktok so i get where you are coming from eheh <33

sealed with a kiss

pairing: frat boy!scoups x g!n reader

genre: romance, friends to lovers

warnings: fluff, suggestive, kissing, post is in full lowercase, mentions of other members, mutual pining

word count: 1.8k

an:some points are gonna be really dramatic,, the story is really fast paced since it was supposed to be a short fic,, and its lowkey crappy so might redo it D:

note: do not copy my works!! reblogs and likes are appreciated!!

m.list

tags: @dinosbestie @odetoyeonjun

when attending college, you were not the teachers pet, nor the slacker. your goal was just to have fun in school with a small group of friends. however, having mingyu as your neighbour and best friend, you would obviously get noticed and popular since he's one of the hot guys in your college. not to mention his group of friends, led by seungcheol and all of them had their flaws. he hung out with all of them at his house and you would join often, since you liked and enjoyed their company. however, seungcheol always stood out to you, having amazing visuals, leadership skills and humor. sometimes catching yourself blushing or starting at him and snapping yourself out of it, blaming it on his likeable personality and that there was no way you would like him...

you kept staring, and eventually mingyu found out about this,, you were currently at your house, sitting in a chair facing the ceiling and mingyu was laying on his bed "yeah yeah, keep thinking that its just that" he rolls his eyes and blows his hair out of his view. "you do not understand kim mingyu, i'm acting like this because of his personality, his friendliness, oh my god he's so buff too and that smile..." "don't you hear yourself right now? you are so lovestruck." he states as he gave you a deadpanned look. you turn and face him and say "anyways if i even do, he doesn't even like me back i bet, he's up there and i'm down here" you use your hands gesturing. "whatever y/n, you better get the balls to do it sooner or later if not i'll do it myself." mingyu says and walks off. you sit there shaking your head at the possibility that he would do such a thing

however, when mingyu was going back to his house, he received a text saying "yo can i come over" from seungcheol. mingyu quickly replied and agreed and stuffed his hands in his pockets before walking next door. 5 minutes later, a knock was heard and mingyu opened it and seungcheol barged into his home. "bro nothing is fucking working, yesterday when i was at wonwoo's house, we were playing some beer pong and i couldn't stop thinking about y/n, even in school dude, like she can't get off my mind and its so fucking hard to have fun when she's on there 24/7." mingyu rolled his eyes once again and it took him everything to not tell seungcheol about your outgoing feelings to him. "you know, suddenly she just started being on my mind during lunch that day, its like so weird... maybe its the way she looks at me?" mingyu acts interested and asks "choi seungcheol, do you like y/n?" "no i don't, no wait.. ugh fine fuck yes i do but we aren't that close so the possibility of us being together is 0, anyways i'm too busy, you and the boys are enough already" mingyu sighs and said "then maybe get closer to her? she's already at like every frat party we have?? don't make excuses now." seungcheol shook his head and said "fine i will, but that does not mean that we are dating since i think my personality is not her type you know? dude i'm quite boring, i take care of 12 of you guys already and i also have to have time to drink and get drunk sometimes too, kim mingyu you get my logic?"

the next day in school you were sitting in the cafeteria waiting for the rest to come and join you for lunch. you heard the doors swinging open and the cafeteria went silent as the boys walked in. fangirls took pictures and tried to give gifts, and the other boys were plain jealous. nobody usually approaches you since they are scared of the boys but this one boy approached you, giving you a rose and saying "y/n noona, i really like you, do you want to go out sometime?" you smiled at him and nodded and wanted to take the rose, but as you reached out to get the rose, seungcheol pushed in between you two saying "i suggest you fuck off before it gets dirty". seungcheol says as he stares him down. the poor boy got scared by the stares from the members especially wonwoo and minghao.mingyu pulls you away from the boy. "you know i am going to date at one point right guys" you said sitting down after the boy scurried off. seokmin said "yes but he has to get through us first" holding a grin as his usual self. the others nodded as you got through lunch as usual. seungcheol would usually sit next to jeonghan or joshua but he sat next to you instead. you were surprised but didn't question it.

mingyu approached you after school saying "do you wanna hang out at your place or something?" you nodded and walked with him saying your goodbyes to the others. about an hour after, your doorbell rang, you opened the door and saw seungcheol standing there. your eyes widened and mouthed "give me a moment" you quickly closed the door, and whisper-screamed "WHY IS HE HERE, MY OUTFIT IS NOT NICE TOO" which you were referring to your really short shorts and a big hoodie over. "i invited him, since he was bored" mingyu casuallysaid. you wanted to kill him. "KIM MINGYU HOW DARE YOU" still whisper-screaming. "uhh you gonna leave me out here?" you head seungcheol say. you quickly open the door and panic-smiled as he walked in and plopped his bag on the floor. mingyu was clearly setting you two up and you did not like it one single bit. you awkwardly sat next to mingyu, having him on your right and seungcheol on your right. after a while, you got comfortable again as you were focused on the show, mini conversations were made in between. therefore, you went back to cuddling mingyu on the couch as a usual thing. seungcheol saw and a pit of jealousy formed trying to hint to mingyu. mingyu finally got the hint and said "yo guys, i gotta go somewhere, i'll be back in an hour." he detached himself from you and left. you took your phone right away and texted him, giving him 'death threats'. you were sitting at the opposite end of the couch and seungcheol at the other. "you know you can be comfortable around me too right y/n" seungcheol comments. "yesyes i know don't worry" you reply. seungcheol opens his arms signaling to cuddle with him as your cheeks burned and you hesitantly went. you instantly melted into his touch, still blushing from the close proximity.

it continued for a few months, both of your crushes on each other are still strong as ever. one day, when he came over and you were relaxing as usual, you quickly went to your room to grab something. when coming down the stairs, you tripped and seungcheol happened to be right infront of you. you ended up falling onto him, and mingyu happened to walk out of the kitchen at the same time, seeing you two in that suggestive situation. you quickly stood up, shaking your head at the teases and tried to explain yourself. the blush that was burning on your face did not help at all as well.

after that day, you tried avoiding seungcheol because of how embarrassing it was. "but you have to talk to him at some point," mingyu replied. "my crush on him would just stop after a while gyu, it's okay" he sighed at your refusals. there were instances where he would try to approach you but you would quickly walk away. the other guys kept asking you the reason why you suddenly stopped talking to seungcheol or even why you move away when he sits next to you. you would just simply avoid the topic and change the subject.

mingyu was over at your house due to him begging asking for help on the mathematics work. it was going all fine till mingyu brought in the topic of seungcheol. "oh my god can you not talk about him for a single day?" he kept shooting questions at you till you shooed him out of your house. a minute after he was chased out, you heard a knock on your door you sigh as you shut your eyes opening your door saying "i swear to god mingyu stop talking about seungcheol, i told you my crush for him would be gone-" you open your eyes and jump backwards as you see seungcheol standing at your door. you frantically say "forget what i said, i was just rambling rubbish," he walks into your house, closing the door on the way in and drops his bag on the way. you walk backwards as he continues following you till your back hits the wall, "can you finish that sentence for me?" he asks. you shake your head and refuse, avoiding the intense gaze from him. "well then, i guess you don't like me~ because if you said you did, i would have told you the same~" he says as he walks backwards slowly.

your eyes widen as you quickly walk towards him, grabbing his arm and asking "choi seungcheol, are you saying you like me?" he smirks as he replies "yes, isn't it obvious? i guess we both are too oblivious," he says before placing his arms around your waist. "kiss me already you idiot" you say before he closes the distance between the two of you. you instantly kissed him back, the feeling of his lips were definitely addictive in fact, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, bringing one of your hands to play with his hair. you knew that your legs would give out on you, so you thought you were going to fall but a firm grip on your waist would not let you do so. the kiss ended up with his forehead to yours and him whispering "god i wanted to do that for the longest time," you were about to go back into the kiss before you were interrupted by the sound of your door opening and mingyu coming in and saying "yo where is my charger? i might have left- WELL ITS ABOUT TIME??" he says as he sees you and seungcheol in such a position and how his hair is in such a mess.

you quickly detangle yourself from him before scolding mingyu for ruining the moment. you were about to chase him to his house before you felt arms around not allowing you to do so. "give him a break, he had to keep your secret so give the guy a breather," you roll your eyes before you face him, wondering how so much happened in the past 10 minutes. before going back into the moment, relishing it to the fullest.

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wonwoonlight · 1 year

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Not sure how many of you will read this until the end but if you do, know I appreciate you so much.

I have a few things I've been meaning to say and now that I finally have the time to do it, I think might as well do it now before things get too busy again.

Sooo, I think I've mentioned that I've been living in Seoul for a few months now and I will continue to be here until... well, that's still undecided but I'll still be here for quite some times.

Living here has been great, transitioning between going to work everyday to attending school again is also quite the feeling. I genuinely thought with works off my shoulders, I'd have more time to do my hobbies again--which includes writing. But the first few months, I was too busy adapting and exploring; once I'm settled, I was lucky enough to find a part time freelancing job though it kept me busy almost 24/7 because it's the kinda work that doesn't allow me to do anything else. But that means between school, social life, taking care of my mental health, and the freelance job, I don't exactly have time for... anything else.

That said, I've been feeling very demotivated, even more than what I've been saying before. I've said before that I'm considering going on a hiatus, but I think the past few weeks (month?) I've been going on one without even realizing. Being here starts becoming... frustrating? That's not exactly the word but that would do for now. Unfortunately, writing starts becoming a task and I haven't been able to find joy in it like I used to.

It wasn't this bad before. But these days I've also been thinking about taking off some of my works from my page and only leaving some behind for archive purposes. Sometimes seeing my own writing becomes a burden for reasons that I can't exactly comprehend either.

Nothing's decided though! I don't want to say I'm closing this blog and announce that I'm not writing anymore; who knows if it suddenly comes back, right? But I think I just want to keep you updated just in case anyone's wondering, and I kinda want to be honest about how I feel these days and why I've been... inactive. I'm still online! But I mostly just lurk around without saying anything; so if you ever like talking to me, feel free to message me anytime!

Thank you for reading what I've had so far and for looking forward to what I have in store. Again, I'm not announcing anything through this post and I mean it when I say I haven't decided anything so... fingers crossed!

So, yeah. Happy new year and I hope 2023 will be great to all of us in whatever way it would come to be :)

with love,

Khione

#khione.log

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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 years

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Piece by Piece: Healing Touch

"Your back is pretty fucked up, or so I hear every morning." Ignoring Steve's protests, he carried on. "If you let me help you with that, I swear on my guitar I will eat. Something. Nutritious," he spat out with feigned disgust.

"So...you're telling me that I get a massage and you start eating well?" Steve chuckled and the tension was gone, just like that. "You've got a deal. Seriously, Munson, where is the catch?"

But it's not that easy, as Eddie finds out. While Steve pretends to be okay, Eddie still hears the pained grunts, sees the stiffness of his boyfriend's shoulders. He's going to give him that massage if it's the last thing he does.

Part 2 of Piece by Piece series. (previous one HERE)

You can also read it HERE.

Taking care of Steve Harrington was proving more difficult than Eddie had anticipated. Ever since Steve's caring side reared its pretty head with the intent to ensure Eddie wouldn't die of malnutrition or diabetes and they had the talk in which Eddie agreed to eat normal food and Steve promised to have some of his injuries and painful body parts looked at, they lived in a delicate balance. Eddie passive-aggressively munched on pre-cut fruit and vegetables, only to announce "that's it, I kept my side of the deal, now show me that cut, Harrington." Steve would ask Eddie to check a sore spot on his side, letting him treat the scars that wouldn't heal as quickly as the others, and then resolutely shoved an apple in Eddie's hand. It worked, they were both getting what they wanted, except for one thing. The bloody promised massage. Steve's back was still a mess and Eddie was running out of patience.

Not that he would have ever had in his wildest dreams imagined touching the bare skin of the former King and all that (not without significantly improving his sprinting, evasion and subsequent camouflage for the rest of the school year), but life somehow wrapped Steve in a lovely bow and sent him Eddie's way, as if to apologize for the minor murder charges/bat mauling/messed up resurrection fiasco. As grateful and elated as Eddie was (constantly, 24/7 baby, 1986 really had been his year in this regard), Steve didn't come with a manual and Eddie was finding out very fast that his lovable ex-jock was prone to attempted self-destruction every two to three business days, sometimes on weekends and holidays too if he was feeling special (hint: always). The irresistible combination of brave, hot and stupid was suddenly way more concerning when he had the first hand chance to realize that Steve didn't even have the common courtesy to say "hey, I'm about to do something stupid that might get me killed!" as the kids often did (in different words but with the same meaning), he just went ahead and threw himself into danger. Again. And again. And again and again and again.

It wasn't that Eddie didn't appreciate Steve's chivalrous nature, he truly was his knight in shining armor, but he would honestly much rather get punched by some of Hawkins' finest vigilantes once, twice, or any number of times really to ensure that Steve wouldn't get pushed around, hit or worse for trying to protect him. It didn't happen often, fortunately enough, but it still did. And whenever they finally got home, Eddie almost tripping on the stairs to get the first aid kit and treating Steve's wounds, begging him, pleading with him to please not do this again, it's not worth it, he isn't worth it, Steve would just smile at him through his bloodied lips and simply say: "It's not your choice if you're worth it. It's not up for debate." And fuck that, fuck this and fuck that whole happy expression that screamed I'm so glad you're safe Eddie, don't mind my broken lip, don't mind the bruise, you're okay and that's all that matters. How was he supposed to argue against that? He just muttered "You get hurt one more time Harrington, one more time and I'm searching this whole stupid town to find Hello Kitty band-aids to stick on your stupidly pretty face whenever you get stupid ideas like this" and hoped, hoped so strongly, that Steve would listen to him for once, that he would get to keep him around longer and in one piece.

The massage agreement was a very desperate effort to at least give Steve something back, to take care of him for once. But getting Steve to agree to something and actually having him do it were two completely different things. As soon as the topic of the promised massage came up in their conversation, Steve assured Eddie that he was indeed looking forward to it, but really, if Eddie had something better to do, that was absolutely fine, the (terrifyingly familiar, nope, not going there, not thinking of her lifeless gaze, her stiff shoulders, what happened right after, back to Steve!) crunching sounds of his spine were absolutely normal, they never caused him any issues or pain and really, Eddie worried too much (all the snorts in the world couldn't unite in the supersnort Eddie gave at that proclamation. The nerve of this man). As if Eddie hadn't seen his careful stretching in the morning, time and time again, when Steve thought Eddie was still asleep in their bed. As if he couldn't hear the muffled grunt of pain when he touched certain parts of his body, or how Steve rubbed his neck more than seemed normal, or when he sometimes had trouble focusing on letters and played it off as a joke, that of course he can't read fine print, he's the pretty and stupid one of the group, hahaha. Eddie wanted to punch every single person who ever convinced Steve that feeling pain and ignoring his health was normal. And if Steve was the one who convinced himself, well. Then Eddie would have to punch him because he's a man who sticks to his principles. And then he'd kiss it better.

So yes, Eddie learned soon enough that Steve would find every single loophole that would allow him to escape his care. Which had led him to this point - grabbing Steve's hand, dragging him to their bedroom and pointing at the bed. "You're getting the massage now, Harrington, and I'm not hearing any response that isn't yes." But even when Steve is under him, just in his underwear and Eddie is spreading a massage lotion over his fingers, heating it up, when he kneads those stiff muscles, something isn't right. Steve is doing his best to do as Eddie asked, tries to lie still, but he is fidgety, tense, and Eddie is getting worried that he might unintentionally hurt him if they keep this up. And it's so, so frustrating, because he could see Steve was hurting, he had him right there, so obedient, but he couldn't do it right. The helplessness rose into his throat and threatened to choke him. He really tried to keep quiet, to focus on Steve and nothing else, but Eddie's mouth had a mind of its own.

When Steve's muscles tensed against Eddie's fingers again, but he stubbornly pretended that it's all good, it's how his muscles are, Eddie could continue, he just lost it. "I love you, you know. I may not say it enough, but...I hope you know that." Shushing Steve's attempt at a response and rubbing between his shoulder blades, he continued. "Please, just...just listen, okay? That way you feel about others, always protecting them...us...that is amazing, Steve. But have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe we might feel the same?" His voice was more strained now and he was praying that Steve would mistake the change in tone for physical effort. The massive knot in his back wasn't helping either. "But none of us are strong enough to do that. To stop others from harming you. Hell," he chuckled and nope, his hands weren't shaking at all, or maybe it was just the physical effort again, yep, that's it, "hell, we can't even protect you from yourself. I can't even...I can't even keep myself safe so that you don't have to keep rushing to my rescue and...and..."

Shit, he couldn't do it. He had it all planned, well, not for this moment and as much as his racing brain allowed, but instead of explaining to Steve how he could never protect others if he destroyed himself in the process, by appealing to his common sense, he just sat there, straddling Steve's lower back and mindlessly stroking all those scars that should have never been there, not for anyone, especially not for him. Steve's shoulders twitched when one traitorous tear fell between his shoulders and oh no, he was shifting, turning around and Eddie's eyes wouldn't fucking stop watering. He crouched down, fully lying on his boyfriend's chest and breathing a silent prayer to any gods who might be listening that Steve hadn't seen his expression. By the gentle hands stroking his back and tangling in his hair, he guessed that prayer wasn't heard.

"Eddie. I don't- it's what I always tell you. You are worth all of this and more to me. You're worth everything."

"That's not the point , Steve! Can you...can you imagine what it's like, seeing someone you love jumping in harm's way for your sake, again and again and just...being fucking terrified of the possibility that this might be the final straw, that thing which will take them away from you? Can you imagine just feeling good and grateful if I graciously decided to die for your safety?" He stopped himself, biting his lip. Perhaps more than he had to, but man. If that sentence wasn't stupid, with all that had happened. "Don't-don't answer that. Please. Sorry. Thank you. What I mean is...I really, really want to keep you around for longer. Long. Very long. As long as you'll have me. And I can't bear the thought of that not happening...because of me. Saving the world, well, sure, that seemed like a good priority, but...it's got to be both of us, baby."

The gentle combing through his hair wasn't stopping, strand by strand, and Eddie allowed himself to relax into Steve, finally getting his breathing under control. In his whole life, he found being still very difficult, well, nearly impossible, he always had to be on the move, wild gestures, jumping on tables, pacing and all that, but somehow, Steve managed to do what any arguments, persuasion or yelling couldn't. What a thought.

"I'm sorry."

Eddie thought for a moment that maybe he imagined it, but nope, Steve definitely said that. Pushing by his knees, he moved next to Steve, not breaking their embrace but just changing the level so he could actually see him. Stroking his face and tracing the moles on the cheeks with fingertips, he smiled. "What a man. You even apologize for saving my ass all the time and getting punched when doing that."

Steve smiled back, but very briefly. He bit his lip and Eddie was very, very tempted to just abandon this whole conversation because what business could Steve have biting his lips? That was Eddie's job! And then he shifted his gaze to the left. Eddie wondered for a split second if he lost Steve's attention, but it was still on him, just - again - his hair and the fingers stroking them. And not that he was a snob or something, but whenever Steve gave him this sort of attention, Eddie swore on all the gods and his guitar that he would get a proper conditioner or something, that if Steve loved his hair so much, it should be bloody worth it (he might have gotten a new shampoo promising to tackle the whole frizzy situation and it hadn't done shit, except for the next time that Steve came behind Eddie and sneaked his hands around his waist, burying his nose into Eddie's curls, he sighed like he was experiencing something special, not just the untamed beast that was Eddie's hair, and muttered "you smell like strawberries. It's nice" and that didn't start Eddie on a quest to figure out all the scents that Steve liked and getting a shampoo selection worthy of his fine nose, well...).

But then Steve spoke up again and that had Eddie abandoning the whole hair train of thought (hair of thought?). "I guess I never...I never saw it this way," Steve admitted in a low voice, still hypnotizing Eddie's curls instead of meeting his eyes. "I never wanted to make you worry, Eddie, I just...it never seemed that important."

"Steve." Eddie raised his other hand and shimmied closer, taking Steve's face in his palms. "There is literally no one more important than you. How could you think for a second it didn't matter if you got hurt?"

The chuckle that came out of Steve's throat got muffled by a peck on his lips, careful, as if he would shatter if Eddie wasn't gentle enough. "No one? Did I finally beat your guitar?"

"Cheeky bastard. For your information, you share the first spot. Don't let it get into your head. It's difficult to decide, you're both drop dead gorgeous and make the most delicious sounds," Eddie nudged Steve's side and enjoyed the moment of shared laughter before getting serious again. "Really, Steve. Why would you think that?"

More biting then, except not just his lips, but also chewing his cheeks and Eddie didn't have to be a psychologist to see that this was a whole new can of worms. "I..." the words got stuck in his throat and Eddie gently took his hands and moved them back to his hair, with a gentle sound of encouragement. That seemed to calm Steve down a bit. "It isn't that I don't think you care, Eddie. It's just that my parents," and oof, the tone makes it sound like an insult (and rightfully so, Eddie isn't a vengeful person but moments like these have him fantasizing of many, many things that the Harringtons deserve, and he has a rich imagination), "my parents never made any fuss about...you know. Me sometimes not coming home completely okay."

Eddie gave a disapproving "tsk" and returned his attention to Steve's moles and freckles. Apparently keeping an eye contact wasn't adding to Steve's peace of mind and...while those amber eyes were always on Eddie's mind, Steve's marks were close second. He could write serenades about them, create a whole campaign about navigating them, if he was willing to share (which he wasn't). Steve's skin was a like a whole new galaxy, just for Eddie to explore. "I know they have the habit to fuck off whenever," he mumbled against Steve's cheek, "so I'm not surprised they didn't take you to a doctor for...all of that. Jesus, Steve, I wish I knew back then, that it wasn't some jock fights or brokenhearted boyfriends. I would have dragged you to the hospital myself."

"I'm sure you would have," and oh, the brief press of lips on his forehead made Eddie's eyes swell with tears again. Not helping. "But it wasn't just the Upside Down stuff. It has...um...sort of always been like that?" Steve's chuckle sounded bitter and resigned at the same time and Eddie was a second away from bursting out the door, gathering the local pigeons and training them as his personal army to shit on the Harringtons' coats, car and preferably faces whenever they had the gall to show up in Hawkins. "I can't remember them ever taking me to a doctor, a hospital or even just putting a band-aid on something."

Eddie's breath hitched. "Not even when you were a kid? Jesus, Stevie! Even...even my shitty dad did that for me."

"Um." Steve's hand left his hair for a moment to massage his temples, his brow furrowed in concentration. "Actually, once. I was what, six or seven? I was running in the street, you know, a normal kid thing, when I tripped and scraped my knee. It wasn't that bad, it was just bleeding a lot, but I was freaking out. My mom took me inside and helped me clean the wound, when he...my dad, he showed up and caused a fucking scene about it. Apparently I was making him look bad." Scratch the pigeon plan, he would train a fucking eagle squad. "It looked like it might need a few stitches, but he forbade my mom from taking me to a doctor. He said that they would look like neglectful parents for letting me get hurt. And whenever I came back later, you know, after sports or fights, he would just look at me with that...that empty, disgusted look and remind me how my mistakes affected his reputation. So...I just did my damn best to hide all that."

"How..." Eddie gasped out, "how do you even hide that? I saw your face, man. After the Russians, after Jonathan, how the fuck did you hide that?"

"Well, they weren't home for most of that. And if they were, I just left them a note that I'm invited to a party or something, left and took my car. They never stay long, so it was just a night or two. It usually got a bit better then. At least the puffiness and color. You okay, Eddie? You...you are breathing kind of weird." Just like Steve, to be worried about him when he was casually talking about years of neglect, as if it was a funny party story.

Eddie fisted his hand in the pillow under Steve's head and, with great difficulty, unclenched his teeth. "I'm just trying to figure out what job would pay enough to allow me hire a hitman," he muttered, squeezing the pillow even harder. "Just...what the fuck, man?! Is that why you think you don't matter? Because you never mattered to them?"

"I don't- I don't think that. I just don't think about it at all," Steve admitted quietly. "And I don't hate it when you...take care of me. It's just not something I'm used to and I feel like I should be doing something. I don't know what. But I do hate that I'm making you worry about me, because you have enough shit to deal with. I just want you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted."

"Oh, Steve." The words that rolled from his lips were soft and unguarded. Eddie had heard enough, but if he thought that understanding would make it better, boy, was he wrong. He could let so many things go, resigning himself to the knowledge he'd never be able to change things, but now his heart was breaking for Steve, as corny and cliche as it sounded. He climbed up and flipped them around, burying Steve's back in the mattress. He marveled at how Steve, much stronger than himself, never resisted, never complained, he just went along with whatever position Eddie craved. In more ways than one. He was looking up at Eddie now, lips parted, waiting. Eddie cupped his cheek and Steve leaned into it, absorbing the gentle touch as if it was the only thing that ever mattered. "It's you that makes me happy. All the time. Even when you play your crap music or when you shove vegetables down my throat, no innuendo there, I'm the happiest I've been in my whole life. And it's scary as fuck. I've never thought I'd have anything like this, hell, some days I still have to pinch myself. I can't help it but think sometimes that this is just a giant joke that the fate played on me or something, that I got to have you, got to have everything I've ever wanted, just to have it taken away. But when you let me care of you, I..." he bit his cheek, but kept his eyes on Steve's because he deserved to hear it. "I feel like I'm actually doing something to keep this. You. That I'm not just accepting what life gives me, but I'm actually reaching out, chasing it. You're it for me Steve, and don't blame me if I'm ready to do everything in this world to keep you, healthy, happy, all that." And shit, he let his mouth run wild again, that was a lot to swallow even for himself, not to mention anyone else, but Steve was listening intently, gaze hanging on Eddie's lips for every word and Eddie's heart feels like it's going to burst out of his chest. The traitor.

And then there's a hand on his cheek too, mirroring his, and Steve pulls him closer and his eyes are so vibrant, so beautiful. "I get it," he whispers and kisses the wrinkles leading to Eddie's temples. "I think I sort of feel the same, so I...I will try. I still don't know how to make myself more relaxed, but I'll figure something out."

Eddie kisses him then, deep and grateful, and he grins at the twitch Steve's body gives when he presses against him. "Good. Although now that I think about it...maybe I went about it the wrong way?" Seeing Steve's confusion, he trailed his calloused fingers over his boyfriend's chest and reveled in the sharp gasp it elicited. "What I mean is, maybe you don't need to relax during the thing. Maybe you just need to be relaxed beforehand."

"I don't see how that's easier," Steve muttered.

And Eddie felt the familiar wolfish grin tugging at his lips, because this might actually be it, he might have finally cracked one of the key sections of the enigma that is Steve Harrington. Steve who wore his heart on his sleeve, but whose mind and body refused to follow the lead of their honest owner. "Then what about I show you exactly what I mean, baby?" he said and disentangled himself from their embrace to flip Steve on his stomach again.

Turns out, his idea was correct. Because when Eddie's long fingers were taking Steve apart, inch by inch, slowly and with unbreakable focus, Steve's tension gradually went away. He was rutting into a pillow that Eddie had placed under his hips, pushing against Eddie's hand and gasping out incoherent words, only sometimes muttering "please" and "Eddie" as a prayer. Despite those extra years in high school, Eddie was a fast learner. He had months to learn Steve and his triggers, what made him writhe and grasp sheets like a drowning man, and he'd be damned if he didn't use all that knowledge to its fullest. Steve was the patient one in bed, always taking his time with Eddie, and Eddie now finally got what was so great about it, found it intoxicating to be the one holding all the cards. When Steve got too impatient, too lost in it, he would just shush him, still his hand and kiss that strong back until Steve's grip loosened, until he laid himself down and whined "I'm relaxed, I swear I am, for god's sake, Eddie!"

Between the twists of his fingers and gentle coaxing, Eddie lost track of time and he was pretty sure Steve couldn't remember the day of the week or even the month once he was done with him. Steve was lying on his stomach, breathing heavily and too spent to move. Eddie carefully removed his fingers, leaning down to kiss Steve's back and removing the soiled pillow. He absentmindedly wiped his hand on it. "That's it, Stevie," he whispered against his nape and reached for the abandoned massage lotion. "Just stay as you are." He shushed Steve's muttered complaints about not being able to return the favor and finally got to those stubborn muscles which were now too tired to resist. Steve hummed against the mattress but made no effort to resist and Eddie found himself grinning like an idiot.

Much later, when he had cleaned Steve and moved closer to get some well-deserved rest, Steve's lips moved, half-asleep. "Eddie?"

He wrapped his arms around Steve's middle. "Yes, love?"

"This was...so nice. I really liked it." He went quiet for a moment and Eddie thought maybe he was already asleep, but then: "I'm still keeping our deal though. You're getting a healthy lunch tomorrow."

Eddie groaned and buried his face in Steve's shoulder. "The things I do for love."

#steddie #steddie ficlet #steddie fanfiction #strangerthings #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #strangerthingsfanfiction #piece by piece #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #established relationship #romance #healing #fluff #hurt and comfort #ahem and a bit of smut at the end #because I can?

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killemwithkawaii · 2 years

Text

Goretober 2022 Day 7: The Side of Caution

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

The second time we met was during one of the few moments of peace I got to enjoy while wandering the void. In that timeline, by some miracle of chance, there was no cult, no demons, no haunted living arrangements, no cannibalistic neighbors, and very few ghosts. My mom had still died when I was little, I was still disfigured, and my dad had his usual vices because of it, but all things considered, it was one of the few timelines where my life in Nockfell was what you might consider ‘normal’.

With the bullies in grade school being the highest level threat I had to deal with, I had managed to stick around in that universe until my early twenties. I was living with Larry, Todd, and Neil, and attending college with them and Ash at Henrys usual insistence, but I hadn’t really been going to class with any goal in mind. I neglected my school work in favor of hanging out with versions of my friends that had above average survival rates and didn’t spend all their free time doing cult sabotage… or being dead. I pretty much slid by with C’s across the board.

One evening, I was back at my dads place for dinner. Henry and Lisa kept giving each other these looks, and finally, Lisa said:

“Sal, we wanted to talk to you about something…”

They both suggested I get a part-time job for the summer- a ‘resume-builder’ that would ‘start me off on my career path’, whatever I chose for that to be.

“You have a bright future in front of you, son. You can do anything you set your mind to, I know you can! You just have to be willing to put in the effort to do it.”

I tried and failed to hold back a snort.

“No, really! Everyone starts somewhere, Sally. It’ll be hard work, but I’ll bet you’ll love it once you get used to it!”

At this point, I’d never had an actual job before. I know, ‘Over 600 years old and he’s never had a job? What a loser!’ In my defense, it’s hard to have a decent work-life balance with school, cult sabotage, friend and family relationship maintenance, and ‘always dying young’ already on your plate. But, like I said, this time was different. I thought about what it would be like, being able to experience the fabled hum-drum daily grind of being a wage-slave in the service industry…. It seemed like torture for most people, but it sounded more like a vacation to me- a predictable and safe routine, normal-person problems, a bunch of normal people to bitch about them with, AND I’d get my own pocket money, too.

“Yeah! That sounds awesome, actually… did you guys have somewhere in mind?”

Robert- you remember Robert- is always a successful, self-made business man, but the kind of businesses he runs is almost random- real estate, tech, marketing, insurance, landscaping… whatever he thinks will be successful, he makes it successful. In that universe, he bought and ran one of the few restaurants in town after its previous owner, Terrence Addison (yes, that Terrence Addison), had announced his plan to retire, sell his various properties, and travel the world. The restaurant was a long-standing staple to the community that literally everyone in town ate at- The Nockfell Diner, a 24-hour greasy spoon that just so happened to be in need of a new dishwasher.

Less than a week after that discussion with Lisa and Henry, I was in uniform, pacing around in the ‘dish pit’. All day, I sprayed the food scraps and grease from the plates, put them neatly in racks, slid the racks into the washing machine, took them out, arranged them back into stacks, and put them away so they could get dirty again. I did this over and over, for hours at a time, until my hands were red and pruny and my clothes and hair were soaked with dirty dishwater. It was a repetitive, mind-numbing, physically taxing (and sometimes nauseating) process, but I found a weird satisfaction in it that I couldn’t really pinpoint at the time. ‘Spray, load, wash, stack….’ It was simple, straightforward, and really obvious about its necessity in the process of the system- plus, I didn’t have to risk being killed or have to murder anyone. It was relaxing. It lulled me into a false sense of security. I wasn’t paying attention when it happened…

I rounded the corner into the kitchen on autopilot, holding a big, heavy stack of dinner plates.

“CORNER-”

I collided with something really solid. The tower of dishes I was holding started to teeter over. A pair of hands steadied the top as I steadied the bottom, keeping the plates from falling and shattering on the floor.

“Whew… Jeez man, watch it!! Didn’t you hear me say ‘corner’?”

I looked up at the man I’d run into, and I knew him. His dark hair and pale skin, those big eyes with the long lashes, a few crooked teeth, the button nose, his pierced lip… he was taller, more muscular, and a guy, but I recognized him instantly.... If it wasn’t obvious to me who he was, it was written right there on his nametag: ‘Mitch’ in big letters, ‘the bitch’ in small letters. I made a note to ask him about the second half later.

“Ah- no, I… wasn’t expecting you… to-”

He gave an exaggerated sigh, his shoulders sagging dramatically.

“Okay, who the fuck’s training the new guy…?”

The cooks on the line shrugged. I hadn’t been trained, necessarily. Mostly, I’d been told where to stand and had otherwise been relying on trial and error and a little common sense to get the job done. ‘You’re a smart guy, you’ll figure it out, Sally…’ (Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?)

“So nobody was gonna bother filling him in on some basic safety shit? Hm? I can’t even buy the guy a drink before me and his ass get into a crash? Tsk, that’s just fuckin’ tacky, guys….“

“Bar’s open ‘til 2, you got plenty of time for another round, Mitch,” a waitress passing by chimed in.

“Oh, not with you here I don’t, baby! I got plans to-night~” he made kissy noises in her direction before turning back to me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, dude. How’re you supposed to know if nobody bothered to tell you?”

“Yeah, I guess…”

“‘Corner’ means ‘I’m around the corner, and I comin through! Get the fuck outta my way!’ Okay? Always listen for that- keeps everyone from ending up like roadkill during a rush, ya’know?”

He laughed with that signature lop-sided smile, clapped me on the shoulder, and passed by me with a wink. He shrugged his strawberry-print bag up on his shoulder, and there was a heart-print bandage on his wrist…

“Uh- okay, I’ll keep that in mind,” I nodded, “I mean, it would kind of be a shame… if I ended up roadkill before you bought me that drink, right...?”

"Ha! It sure would be..."

I couldn't believe it. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eye. I’d found her! Er- him. Mitch. It was undeniable- it was them…

just a little different.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

#the staycation 🏡💙#coworker!mitch #tw unreality #tw violence #tw cannibalism #tw unsanitary #tw death #tw injury #tw drug use #edited #meet the fishers

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everydayfunkin · 3 years

Note

Hey, welcome back! You alright?

auwhahha thank youuu and yeah im alright!!! for the most part!!! trying to get back into my fnf fixiation so i can make more art to post... keeping accounts active is so hard im rlly not a social media person r.i.p.

#once school starts for me again i might be busy 24/7 #and i!!! dread that!!!!!#but ill live (hopefully) <3 #ask #anonymous

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knoxa1ways · 2 years

Text

Sharing dorms with them + their confessions!

----------------------------------------------------------

Writer's notes: hey hey, I'm so sorry this took a while, I've been quite busy at school and I've been procrastinating, forgive me 😭😭 I know I meant to write for more female characters, but this one has more male characters since I had more ideas for them 💀💀- but do note that the school au might become a series and I might add more themes + write for more characters :P I also hope that everyone has been doing great and coping well out there! <3 I hope my fanfics could at least make your day better 😹😹

Fluff

School AU + confessions

Xiao, Venti, Hu Tao, Kazuha and Albedo - x reader (individually)

Xiao!

Ok, living in the same dorm as this guy?? How is it like to live one of my dream 😹😹

When you first met him, the first thing that came to your mind was emo. I mean. I would too.

You guys never really talk but when you start getting closer to him, you’ll find out that he’s such a softie, a tsundere in fact!

I would shit tears if I saw him come out of the bathroom with his hair wet…… that shit must’ve been so breath-taking (STOP THIS WAS ME BACK IN FEBRUARY I WAS SUCH A SIMP FOR XIAO 💯💯)

XIAO IN A PONYTAIL XIAO IN A PONYTAIL XIAO IN A PONYTAIL

He cooks your meals sometimes

Generally a really cool person to share a dorm with, as long as you’re nice to him, he’ll eventually open up <3

Your roommate seemed to be a cold person. He was never seen hanging out around other people and he was mostly alone. When you found out you had to share dorms with him, you thought you would have a tough year. You were wrong. So wrong.

Xiao looked cold and aloof, but he’s honestly a really sweet guy once you get to know him. That one time when you woke up late for school, there was breakfast on the table made by Xiao. “You woke up late, again. My classes don’t start at this hour today so I thought I could make you a simple breakfast to have on the way.” He states, passing a sandwich wrapped neatly in a paper bag along with your favourite coffee. His hair was in a mess and his voice sounded different… It was like it was his morning voice… Wait. Did he just wake up? Was he worried that you overslept and made breakfast to save your ass? You were about to ask him when the door slammed on your face. You couldn’t help but to grin and laugh to yourself.

Xiao is also a really big tsundere. Like seriously. The other time you were out with another classmate and he saw you flirting with them and he obviously did not seem to be enjoying it. He was frowning and pouting throughout. When you got home though, that was when his true emotions started to show. He pulled you to the couch with him and started cuddling with you. “Xiao… are you… jealous?” you teased. He said nothing in return, face however, turning as red as a tomato.

“Y-you! Fine… whatever. Just stay like this for a while, Y/N. And… I love you."

Venti!

HE’S MINE STAY AWAY. /j we can share him, Venti simps and enthusiasts are welcome here <3

He’s definitely a class clown. Or he got popular because of his musical talent.

HIS ROOM. HIS ROOM WOULD DEFINITELY BE MESSY.

“Oh hey y/n, ah ah ah, watch the lyre on the ground, don’t step on my precious baby!”

GAME NIGHT. GAME NIGHT.

PRANKS 24/7. IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE SPICE, DON’T BE SURPRISED WHEN YOU TASTE SPICY SEASONINGS IN YOUR INSTANT NOODLES

He’s the background music in your pair work. It’s not pair work anymore it’s just you on your own while he plays on his stupid little lyre.

“Oh? Contribute? To what? I’ve contributed enough by playing music! Now, focus, or we’re both failing! What? You won’t do it if I don’t join you? Fine, I'll do my part then!”

Going to 7-Eleven stores at 3 am at night is pretty normal with him. He either never sleeps, or sleeps like a pig.

He’s probably the worst roommate you could get. He scores full marks for entertainment but he’s basically useless when it comes to homework or helping around the dorm. He won’t help with the cooking or housework. >:( But he’s cute so you forgive him <3

Your roommate is an energetic person. He gets annoying every now and then, but he’s still a really nice person. He was well known in school for his musical talent and he often performs during special events. When you found out you were going to share a dorm with him, you had mixed feelings. It was great that you were sharing with someone like him, but he seemed to have no concern about cleanliness or hygiene, whatsoever.

Venti often goofs around and doesn’t think much about the consequences. You thought he was funny though, no doubt. He’d often crack a silly joke that would make you laugh so much your stomach hurt. He’s sometimes a responsibility and you often have to nag at him before he helps out or does his homework. “Venti! This assignment is graded! Stop fooling around and complete it!” “What assignment was that again? H-Hey! Why are you taking off your slipper and holding it up like that- Ow! Wait, have mercy!” He’d often play on his lyre when you were relaxing. (At least he’s thoughtful..) He never cooks or helps out in the dorm. You have to do all the work for him. His room was a mess, clothes would be scattered everywhere on the floor, even his precious lyre would be on the ground.

Venti is also a prankster. You should not be surprised to find tons of fake spiders hiding in his drawer collecting dust. (He’s waiting for the chance to prank you <3) You knew he could be rather poetic and romantic, but you never expected him to be that foolish.

The clock displayed large numbers. 2:24 am. Why was Venti not back yet? You knew he went for a huge party that Childe invited everyone to but you didn’t go for it since you weren’t feeling too well. Suddenly the door slammed open with Venti stumbling in. “Heyy~ I’m baaack….” You gasped. Venti did not look well. How did he even manage to find his way back? “Were you out betting with Kaeya, again? Venti, I told you multiple times not to drink so much just to prove you’re better! Look at the state of yourself!” You said, pulling him to his bedroom.

“Y/N…” He said as you helped him onto his bed. You handed him a glass of water and helped him drink. “Thaank you~ Ugh, Y/N! You look especially blurry tonighttt…” He slurs as he grabs on your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. Your breathing hitched as you felt his warm breath against your skin. “Venti… Please… lie down…” You said, flustered. “Hey… Y/N? I… I love you so muchhh… please cuddle with me tonight…” He slurs on his words, pulling you together with him to lie on his bed. You were facing his sleepy face, only centimetres apart. Wait. Did he just confess to you? You got up and threw a pillow at him. “You dumbass! Confess to me when you’re not drunk! Go to sleep!” You stumbled out of his bed and you were about to leave the room when you felt his hand grip onto your wrist.

“Y/N… Please… at least sleep with me tonight…”

Hu Tao!

She’s basically Venti, but better. I bet her room would be cleaner at least.

She’ll annoy you until you pay attention to her

Horror movies and horror games. She loves to see you getting frightened out of your guts as you grab onto her arm in fear.

Prankster. If you get scared easily, you’d be doomed.

She probably scores mostly D’s in class…

I like to headcanon that she’s actually pretty good at art. It’s just the art she produces is unique… and scary….

She would cook sometimes, and her cooking often looks suspicious and tastes odd, but you still consume it either way, because you’re such an amazing friend. (Spoilers, you'll be stuck in the toilet for the next couple of days)

She may goof around often but she’s always in your back on call and she’s really loyal.

Study sessions with her would turn into dumb conversations about your classmates and teachers.

Dark jokes or dumb ones that make you want to beat her up

HU TAO WITH HER HAIR DOWN??? SHE’S SO CUTE.

A really fun roommate to have, she’s loyal to you and she’s really nice. Treat her well.

Your roommate is a prankster, she enjoys watching your reactions. You’re often on your toes, unknowing of what she’d do next. She can be really sweet though, and she’s really adorable. Nonetheless, she’s one of the popular girls in school. When you found out you were going to share a dorm with you, you had mixed feelings. You were excited for sure, but at the same time you had your doubts, knowing what she’s like.

Hu Tao has an interesting style and sense of humour that usually sends shivers down your spine, but you can tell she’s trying her best to fit in while being herself. She often reads her poems to you and they leave some sort of impression on you, because her poems have… some sort of dark meaning behind them.

She does help around the house a little, not much. She doesn’t cook though. The reason is… very special for her case. Don’t be surprised if she serves you a plate of suspicious looking spaghetti with meatballs decorated to look like eyeballs… (which she has only served once because you fainted at the sight of those ‘meatballs’) She also enjoys pranking you tons, especially by jumpscaring you. You could just wake up to use the washroom and a freaky mask of some sophisticated monster would greet you right after you open the door.

Interestingly enough, though you knew Hu Tao was talented, you never realised how amazing her art is. Though they’re often a display of darker shades like black or mahogany red, her pieces often turn out really pretty. “Hey Y/N, could you grab me a couple of paint brushes from the art room today and pass them to me? Huh, me? Stealing? Who says? Is there a rule that says that students cannot borrow art supplies from the art room for their own personal use?”

You know that Hu Tao would often drag you onto the couch with her to watch really gory horror movies, but you never realise what her true plan was behind all of that. It was about 1 am in the morning when both of you were both huddled together on the couch, eyes glued onto the television. “Tao… this is scaring me…” “Come on Y/N! Just a little longer! This is the part!” You squeezed your eyes shut as you covered your ears and huddled closer to her. You could hear the muffled sounds of the television and Hu Tao’s giggles. You felt her warm hands suddenly grab onto both your wrists and pull them apart from your ears.

“Relax, Y/N. Scoot over if you’re scared, I’m here, you’re not alone. Thank you for watching this movie with me even though you obviously don’t enjoy this genre of movies. I appreciate it and.. Well uh, I know this is an awkward time to say, but I really love you, Y/N.”

Kazuha!

THIS MAN. THIS MAN.

He’s probably one of the popular guys let’s be honest, he’s literally perfect

You were surprised to hear that out of everyone, he was sharing a dorm with you.

(let’s say you had a crush on him, because why else would you be reading this.)

KAZUHA WITH HIS HAIR DOWN KAZUHA WITH HIS HAIR DOWN

He would cook your meals like the malewife he is.

You loved his cookings, they were usually fish but they tasted amazing and his cooking technique for every meal would be different

Oh god imagine movie nights with him… and he’ll let you lean on his shoulder…. Awww….

Perfect roommate. He’s not messy, respects you, gentleman, sweet, good looking, cooks your meals and even studies with you

Your roommate is soft-hearted. He was good looking and well known in school. You admired him a lot. Many girls swoon over him and you felt as if you were out of his league and thus never tried communicating with him. When you found out that he was going to share dorms with you, obviously you were exhilarated. Your crush, sharing a dorm with you? You’d die for that opportunity!

Kazuha is a true gentleman. He cooks and helps around the house. He even studies with you and treats you nicely. He’s talented in Literature and you wouldn’t be surprised to hear his dulcet voice reading beautiful poems. He usually is the one that cooks your meals, and the dishes often had fish in it. You weren’t complaining though. You loved eating fish, and this was cooked by your crush after all. When studying with him, it always felt refreshing. His voice was calm and soothing, you always felt safe when you listened to him read out some of the notes. Bonus, you got to see his hair down. Which was something no one got to see, other than you. You loved that you got to see sides of Kazuha that nobody could. You felt special.

You know that Kazuha is a romantic person. You’d get jealous over the love letters and poems sent to him by a bunch of girls trying to catch his attention. He’d usually look through them in the living room, and you’d often roll your eyes over the stupid little poems those pink letters with tons of hearts contained. Kazuha was observant and picked that up almost immediately. He laughed lightly. “Y/N? What’s with that reaction? Jealous that you don’t get any love letters? Or upset that I’ve been getting too many love letters but you want my attention?” Your heart stopped. “Me? Oh, no well uh… I…” You just ran off to your room and slammed the door, hiding your face in your hands. Kazuha grinned, much to his amusement.

On the next day when you got back from school, you had the biggest surprise of your life. Kazuha wouldn’t be at the dorm as his classes started later than yours, which means he would be back in about three hours, much to your relief. You did not wish to see him after you’ve embarrassed yourself. You went to your room and shut the door. Slouching on your chair, you sighed. You got up to get food when you noticed a pretty red envelope on your desk. Beside it was your favourite flower and a maple leaf. You grabbed the envelope and took out the letter. You gasped at its contents, turning red.

As these maple leaves fall,

It reminds me of it all,

Gracefully, you entered my life.

And I fell in love at first sight,

But I stayed quiet until that night.

Thank you for opening my eyes.

Let’s soar high in the skies,

With our hands intertwined together.

Allow me to stay with you forever.

And I’ll love you until the end of time.

-Kazuha.

Albedo!

Rounded glasses!

He’s probably hella quiet but once you get to know him, it’s pretty fun.

You’re probably his only friend because he practically talks to no one, and he doesn’t just have casual talk with stupid people. (you’re smart in his eyes <3)

3 am study sessions…. Because I said so.

Falling asleep on his lap as he studies is pretty normal

Y'all just eat instant noodles or McDonald's…

He probably never leaves his room, so you camp in there to disturb his busy ass

"Ah Y/N, I assume you have come to annoy me once again, haven't you? Well, don't be shy, make yourself at home. Just don't ruin my experiment, that'd be awful for me to clean up."

He tutors you. If you're terrible at science, like straight up terrible, he's gonna make sure you get on his level in a month or so. He's scary.

Can we talk about Albedo fanart real quick??

Anyways I think he'd be a good roommate. He's not the most entertaining person to be with but he definitely tries his best to make you laugh.

Your roommate is intelligent. He is soft spoken and often locks himself in the laboratory to work on his experiments. You admit, he’s good looking and that made him quite well known in school. There were often people crowding outside the laboratory, eyes glued on him in awe as he worked on his experiments. When you found out that you were sharing a dorm with him, you didn’t really have much of a reaction, you just thought that you two wouldn’t communicate with each other at all.

You were half correct about that. At first, Albedo never leaves his room, you were worried for his sake and you often ordered food for him and placed the meal on his desk whenever it was mealtime. Until one morning, he was the one that came into your room with food in his hands. “Oh, Y/N, I prepared some food for you. I know it’s not the best, but I just wanted to repay you for helping me order all those meals. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be starving until midnight daily.” You glanced at the plate of scrambled eggs with a side of bacon paired along with a scrumptious sandwich. “T-This is for… m-me? I wasn’t expecting this at all… Thank you, Albedo, I really appreciate it.” You smiled as you took the plate in your hands. You were surprised to hear the next thing he said; “I know I don’t ever hang out with others, but you’re always welcome to study with me, just come into my room as you’d like. Also, I would love to get to know you more.” he comments, closing the door gently, leaving you alone to your own thoughts. Albedo? Wanting to be friends? You were punching the air in joy. You just won the attention of someone everyone wants to be close with.

After that day, you’d often barge into his room without consent, lie on his bed and watch him study. He’d often roll his eyes as you do that but he smiles sweetly, he seems to always enjoy your presence whenever you enthusiastically share about your day to him. He would also allow you to lay on his lap whenever he was studying. You also became the only person who could enter the laboratory when he’s occupying it. Of course, many rumours spread that Albedo has a secret lover, and many people were jealous of your friendship with Albedo, but you never took it to heart.

You were laying on Albedo’s lap (as per usual) and you were rambling on about your day and how tired you were. He smiles and laughs lightly, “Y/N? Tired? Sounds like an unusual match, you’re usually very energetic.” You pout at his statement. “Hmph! If you say so, I’ll sleep then! Good night!” You say, eyes fluttering shut. You were dozing off as you heard a muffled giggle and you felt a hand running through your hair.

"Well, it’s been quite a while I’ve been wanting to say this, but I wouldn’t dare to. I love you Y/N. My feelings were there even before we shared dorms and I have always had the urge to talk to you, but I didn’t know how. Are you truly asleep? I wonder. Sweet dreams, Y/N.”

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Ahhh okay!!! That took so long to edit and write istg. I'm so sorry once again for my procrastination and slow drive to complete my fanfics 😹😹

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chaeryybomb · 3 years

Text

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while.

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki

word count: 4.5k

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

#enhypen #yang jungwon #jungwon #enhypen imagines #yang jungwon imagines #jungwon imagines #enhypen x reader #yang jungwon x reader #jungwon x reader #kim sunoo #nishimura riki #enhypen scenarios #yang jungwon scenarios #jungwon scenarios #jungwon fluff #enhypen fluff #yang jungwon fluff #chaeryybomb; the sour series

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ericspinkhair · 3 years

Text

dirty thoughts from a distance

pairing: dom!changmin x virgin!reader, best friends to lovers, college au!

synopsis: you masturbate while thinking of your best friend and he catches you moan out his name

word count: 3.8k

warnings: maybe slight angst, (getting caught) masturbating, mutual masturbation, sex in general ig

a/n: y'all are crazyy! it has barely been 19 days and I have already hit 100 followers🤧 thank you guys so much for your support and sending in requests!!! everytime I see leave me nice messages I feel so encouraged to keep on writing even though there is still a lot of room to improve and I am not always completely satisfied with what I create. I wish all of you a great day and hope that you stay happy and healthy!!

this chapter is especially dedicated to @bangcrispychannie and anon who requested this kind of scenario ❤️

masterlist + requests

for three years you wondered why you hadn't lost your virginity yet. it's not like you didn't have enough opportunities since you had been in two relationships so far, both lasted about five to seven months.

the feelings in your first relationship were been mostly one-sided however.

when a guy in your biology class named Minho confessed his crush for you, you thought that the only logical next step was to become a couple. you were quite flattered that he had taken such an interest in you and believed and hoped you would eventually develop feelings for him as well. the problem was you didn't. after not being able to be emotionally let alone physically intimate with him for a few months into your relationship, he finally confronted you and you confessed that you just couldn't bring yourself to see him that way. your relationship came to an end just before becoming a senior in high school.

in your last year, you got close with Seonghwa. you were seat neighbors in your english class and you'd chat all the time. he was perfectly sweet, smart and funny and you instantly got along just fine. you developed an interest in him and he seemed to feel the same way. he asked you out with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and some chocolate and you agreed to being his girlfriend without much thought. you caught yourself falling in love with this boy and didn't shy away from physical affection such as kissing and holding hands. you were convinced you were ready to give yourself to him during prom night but when it came to it you chickened out. a couple of hours before, you had found out that your best friend changmin had broken up with his girlfriend of six months.

for a long time you hadn't been able to decipher why you hadn't slept with Seonghwa then. as time passed, the unpleasant answer became clearer and clearer: you had brought up your hopes.

you had been best friends with changmin basically since you started elementary school. on the first day, he scared you with a stupid horror mask he had sneaked in from home and made you cry. he felt so guilty and was determined to make it up to you and to become friends. you had been inseparable ever since.

when he got his first girlfriend in junior year you were devastated. you convinced yourself that the reason for that was that you had been scared he was going to replace you as his best friend but in reality you had felt jealousy.

you were suppressing your feelings because if you confessed, things might become awkward. there was no way changmin could ever like you the same way.

all of this became more difficult as you moved in together for college. you were sharing an apartment now and every day, it became harder to avoid your growing and troublesome feelings. your heart would beat faster whenever he walked around shirtless (which was most of the time) and you decided to try to ignore him. this was especially difficult since you wanted to appreciate his physique. when had he become this handsome? changmin had been dancing all his life so he had always been fit but now that he was majoring in it and training most of the time, his body had developed and he had become super toned and his abs were more prominent.

he'd often make his way into your dreams and you'd let him do inappropriate things with you. you'd wake up wet and needy and even more confused. you were ashamed of seeing him this way. this was not how one normally thought about their best friend.

it was a wednesday morning and you were eating breakfast when changmin joined you in the kitchen. he flashed you a big smile, making his pretty dimples appear which you didn't see as you did not look at him.

'good morning, y/n!' he greeted you in a good mood. you just grunted in response, intensely staring at the cereal swimming in your bowl.

the fact that you couldn't even spare him a glance hurt changmin but he tried to not let it show. he wanted to get you to talk to him.

'do you want to watch a movie and play some board games today after class?' he proposed. you hadn't spent a lot of time together ever since you had become aware of your feelings.

'I have an essay due tomorrow,' you quickly made up as an excuse. the corners of changmin's mouth twitched but you didn't notice as you were too preoccupied with doing anything that didn't include looking at him.

'then maybe on the weekend. or next-' 'I'll be busy,' you interjected. 'I have lots to do.' you stressed the lots to emphasize there was absolutely no way you would be able to hang out with him any time soon.

'umm… okay. I'll be going to class.' he told you dejected. your heart sank but you didn't respond. he was wondering whether he had done anything to make you upset but he couldn't wrap his mind around it. this had been going on for a while and he was starting to become desperate.

when you first got the apartment you spent every free minute of the day together, happy that you finally moved out and could be with each other 24/7, but then you stopped talking to him completely out of nowhere. from one day to the other, you would avoid leaving your room when he was outside and barely talked to him anymore. at first, changmin thought you were just stressed and that you'd eventually warm up again when exam season came to an end but a few months had passed and, if anything, the situation was even worse than before.

you were watching the time and after ten minutes you decided to leave for classes as well. you had started doing this so you couldn't possibly catch up to him and risk having a conversation.

'hey, y/n, what's up!' your friend chanhee hugged you when you arrived on campus. you were both majoring in fashion design and were getting along on well since the beginning of the first semester.

you sighed exasperatedly. 'changmin's up.' you puffed your cheeks and pouted. chanhee nodded knowingly. he was the only person who was aware of your little secret and that was only because you had accidentally drunk confessed the whole story to him at your first college party.

'you know maybe you should tell him. this whole thing is clearly not making you happy and I saw changmin walk by a few minutes ago. if I had to guess I'd say he was in an even worse mood than you. someone accidentally ran into him and he pushed them hard and called them names. it's not like him to overreact like this. he's usually super collected. I think you finally managed to break his spirit,' chanhee reported to you.

this had never been what you intended. why did everything have to be so difficult? you didn't want to be the cause of your best friend's unhappiness.

'he must feel like I despise him. but I cannot confess to him, that would be the end of our friendship!' you were constantly torn apart by this dilemma.

'well, if you're not gonna act on your feelings, maybe try to move on? find something casual or serious with someone new? then you'd forget all about changmin and you'd be able to go back to acting normal around him' he suggested.

chanhee's advice didn't sound too bad. if you couldn't get with changmin then you had to de-crush yourself and find somebody different to focus your emotional energy on. but on who?

'is there anyone you could think of?' you ask chanhee. he had great taste in practically everything so you highly valued his opinion.

'hmm, you could potentially try younghoon hyung? I've seen him eyeing you for weeks now and he even told me thinks your gorgeous.' he wiggled his eyebrows teasingly.

younghoon was a pretty art student, whom chanhee knew from high school. you didn't talk to him often, mostly at parties and he wasn't exactly your type but you tried to remember shouldn't judge him by his first impression when you haven't even got to know him.

chanhee pulled out his phone and soon you felt yours vibrate in your back pocket. you looked at him questioningly.

'I sent you his number in case you're interested,' he explained proudly. he put his hand on your shoulder and you could see the concern in his eyes. 'you really need to get over changmin if don't want to confess,' he insisted firmly.

so you decided to text younghoon during class. he was very polite and you thought he was cute as he seemed excited to talk to you. you agreed to hang out sometime to get to know each other and decided to meet up friday for dinner.

after the end of your classes, you walked home to warm up yesterday's leftovers. to your dismay, changmin had also decided to come home for once. since you began acting all weird and refused to eat with him, he usually spent lunch time with his dance mates as they had practice after anyway. why had he decided to come here today? your question was answered when he ran up to you, smiling from ear to ear and you noticed he was hiding something behind his back.

'you know how there is a blackpink concert downtown on friday? guess what!' he held up two tickets. surely you would at least agree to spend time with him if it meant being able to see your favorite group, right?

he must have gone through so much trouble to get tickets for you and since blackpink were your favorite music artists you were actually contemplating on going but then you remembered you had made plans.

'I can't. I'm going out with younghoon friday night.'

'kim younghoon?' he raised an eyebrow skeptically.

'why would you to be spending time together? I didn't know he was even talking to you,' he questioned you. anger was boiling inside of you.

'maybe it's because you don't know everything about me,' you snapped at him. you were aware that you were being harsh but somehow his words hurt you. why did he doubt you? did he think you weren't able to get with someone as awesome and popular as younghoon? did he not consider you pretty enough?

the microwave beeped, indicating your food was ready, making you snap out of your thoughts.

'y/n, I swear, that's not what I meant.' he stepped directly in front of you so you were forced to look at him. you stared deep into his pleading eyes as you closed the microwave door, turned your back to him, stomped to your room and slammed the door shut, leaving changmin behind in the kitchen.

your whole body was tense as you listened closely to any sounds coming from outside and felt relieved when you heard the front door close. feeling sad and depressed always made you feel tired so you decided to take a nap to forget about all the negative feelings.

when you woke up you were horny af. you had a dream about changmin taking you on the kitchen counter and now your panties were completely soaked with your arousal.

desperate, you pulled them down and tossed them somewhere to the side. it didn't matter. you needed relief now.

you closed your eyes as you slowly started rubbing your clit, imagining it was changmin's slender fingers touching you instead. your imagination was running wild and you sped up the tempo.

eventually, you plunged your middle finger and then your index finger inside you, pretending that changmin was stretching your walls with his cock.

you moaned loudly and picked up the pace, chasing your high. oh, how much you wished he was the one making you come.

'yes?' you opened your eyes and gasped loudly as you saw changmin watching you from the doorway. you hecticly pulled up your blankets to your chest to cover your naked lower body. for how fucking long had he been standing there?

'oh fuck, changmin...' you cursed out loud.

to your surpise he laughed. 'oh, is this why you have been so distant? were you embarrassed about imagining doing dirty things with me?' your cheeks were burning red and you were unable to move a muscle.

'you know, if you had told me you were thinking of me while doing it then I could've helped you out already. that would have spared both of us a lot of frustration.' he stepped into the room and pulled the sheets away, his hungry eyes fixed on your desperately dripping pussy. you tried to hide it with your hands.

'n-no… what are you saying? aren't we best friends? ' you couldn't comprehend what was happening right now. the way he was acting was so unexpected that you didn't know how to react or what to say. he brushed his hand over your burning cheeks. his eyes were conveying disparity.

'but what if I told you I don't care? that I like you? that I see you as more than just my best friend?'

'wait, you like me?' you couldn't believe your ears. was he actually reciprocating your feelings?

he groaned in exasperation. 'y/n, why did you think I ended things with my ex out of the blue?' you shrugged your shoulders as you weren't sure. you had thought it was because she had lost interest in him, at least that's what changmin had told you back then.

'because I realized I was in love you, you dumbass. how could I be together with someone if I had feelings for someone else?'

'I actually ruined my chances of having sex with seonghwa for the first time for the same reason. it was just after I had found out about the breakup,' you confessed, relieved that you were finally beginning to make sense of everything.

he climbed onto the mattress and positioned his knees next to your closed legs, leaning his hands on the wall behind you so that he was hovering above you.

'I'm sorry that you lost that opportunity. let me make it up to you,' he whispered with his face mere inches from yours and then kissed you. losing all self-restraint, you immediately pulled his body closer so that he was straddling you. after all these months filled with sexual frustration and just frustration in general, you were desperate for his touch. your hands wandered under his dance shirt and you were finally able to touch those abs you had been secretly admiring for so long.

you broke the kiss to take off both of your shirts and changmin skillfully unclasped your bra.

while his tongue was exploring the insides of your mouth, his hands were kneading your breasts, occasionally rubbing and pinching your hardened nipples. you felt his hard dick press against your lower abdomen as he grinded himself into you to get friction.

after having dreamt about this moment for so long, you felt impatient. this was too good to be true and you were scared that if you didn't act quick, your bubble would bust.

without thinking twice about it, you pulled down the hem of his sweatpants and boxers just far enough so you could easily reach inside and whip out his dick. you stopped for a moment to admire his length. it looked even better than you had ever imagined in any of your wildest dreams.

he sat upright, leaning on the wall behind you, while you stroked his cock. he was sensitive to your touch and not shy to show you how well you were doing by responding with moans.

'fuck, y/n. you're doing amazing.' his praise made you eager to show him just how good you could make him feel. your lack of experience was barely noticeable as the adrenaline flowing through your veins was guiding you.

you tapped his thighs to signalize him to inch closer. that way your mouth had easier access to his dick. you hesitantly licked up his length and were fascinated by how he tasted. wanting to have more of it, you swirl your tongue around his pink tip. changmin eventually became impatient and forced more of his dick inside your mouth so you tried to take as much of him as you could but your gag reflex made it difficult for you. instead, you worked your hands where your mouth couldn't do its job.

not wanting you to feel neglected, changmin reached behind him to stimulate your clit. he skillfully started rubbing all the right places and you moaned around him, sending vibrations through his cock.

he couldn't take this stimulation for much longer before he had to force himself to pull out of your mouth.

'wow, you almost made me come there.' he panted heavily. 'but I want to be inside you first.' you got lost in his touch as he placed a long kiss on your lips but a sudden thought brought you back to reality.

'wait, I don't have a condom,' you informed him embarrassed. you hadn't planned to lose your virginity any time soon so you hadn't bought any. did that mean the end of this wonderful dream?

but changmin laughed light heartedly. 'no need to worry. hold up, let me get some from my room.' you relaxed again as he disappeared and came back shortly with a condom wrapper in his hand.

you were prepared for him to start right away and took a deep breath in preparation but he didn't do anything.

'I don't think it's a good idea to start yet since I haven't even prepared you. the last thing I would want to do is hurt you so just lay back.'

he positioned your legs over his shoulders so your hips were hovering in the air. you felt his warm breath against your vagina before he drove his tongue inside you, seeing for himself how wet he had made you and tasting your arousal. you clasped your hands over your mouth to stop yourself from releasing any sounds.

'don't do that. I want to hear how good I make you feel,' changmin complained.

when he slid two fingers inside you, you couldn't hold it in anymore and let out some kind of aroused squeal. you felt self-conscious but it seemed like changmin was only more eager to please you.

at the same time, his tongue was abusing your swollen clit and it was impossible for you to hold back the curses that were spilling out of your mouth. the pleasure he was making you feel was a whole different sensation from anything else you've experienced before.

'more please, changmin!' you begged. you wanted more. you needed more. you needed him.

he carefully lowered your hips back down. 'are you sure you want this?' he asked you, waiting for you to clearly consent to having sex with him.

'I want you. you, and only you,' you reassured him and brought his face closer to kiss him. changmin's typical bright smile formed and you felt the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

he positioned himself at your entrance, swiping his dick between your folds like a credit card to coat it with your juices.

you gripped his arms tightly as he pushed in. he slowly continued until all of him was buried deep inside you before stopping. the feeling of a whole penis inside of you was very different from your or changmin's fingers. it filled you up to the brim and was rubbing all the good spots. while it initially caused you a bit of discomfort, it wasn't overwhelming and it also felt good in a weird way.

when your walls finished adjusting to his length, he began to steadily move his dick in and out.

changmin intensely studied your face. he couldn't believe that after all those years you were finally close to being his. he wanted to savor every single expression you made while he was inside you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso, trying to push him deeper. he slammed his cock back inside you.

'you are mine,' he declared and started going harder and faster.

'I am yours,' you confirmed and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

because of the extensive foreplay and your own masturbation prior to this, it didn't take long until your walls were tightening around his dick and you felt an orgasm approaching.

driven wild by you clenching around his cock, he thrusted into you even faster. you rested your sweaty foreheads against each other as both of you almost came simultaneously.

changmin kissed the top of your head before he pulled out and threw away the used condom. you opened your arms and he let himself fall right into your embrace.

'I know this might be kind of weird to talk about right now but do you want to be my girlfriend?' Changmin asked you. he still wasn't too sure what all of this meant for your relationship and he desperately needed to know where your mind was at.

'after having liked you for all this time I'd be an idiot to say no.' 'you're an idiot anyway,' he teased. you slapped his arm.

'hey! I'm not the one who ignored you for a couple of months because my hormones are out of control.' you hid your face in the crook of his neck, too embarrassed face him.

'I'm really sorry for that. you just mean so much to me and I didn't want my feelings to get in the way of our friendship.' he stroked your hair.

'I do understand that. if I hadn't heard you moan my name today I wouldn't have acted on my feelings either. but all is good now, right?' 'right.' you smiled and placed a small kiss below his ear.

'there is still one thing you need to do,' changmin tried to remind you. you looked at him, puzzled.

'what do you mean?' 'younghoon,' he hinted. you immediately started looking for your phone. that date was definitely going to have to be cancelled. there was no need for you to find a distraction anymore since you had been granted your wish after all.

#ji changmin smut #ji changmin scenario #the boyz q smut #the boyz q scenario #the boyz changmin smut #the boyz changmin scenario #the boyz ji changmin smut #the boyz ji changmin scenario #the boyz smut #the boyz scenario #the boyz #ji changmin #the boyz changmin #the boyz q #kpop smut #kpop scenario #kpop #smut

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otptings · 3 years

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Insomnia

-Idol ~ Kun

-Genre ~ Sick Fic, Smut, Fluff

-Warnings ~ insomnia, lack of appetite & weight loss, pillow princess by force, oral (f receiving), passionate fucking, dry humping? (she's half naked but he's fully dressed), daddy kink, rough sex, choking, degradation,

-Word Count ~ 2.9k+

-Synopsis ~ Sleeping never comes easy to. You've tried everything from exercising, to warm milk. Maybe the one thing you've been missing is some late night loving?

-A/n ~ loosely inspired by sky Insomnia, the rose insomnia, and dreamcatcher sleep-walking. best to listen to any of those songs as you read it, might help set the mood even though those are all break up songs lmfao. I also have my ko-fi link in my bio help raise more money to help me buy essentials for my emotional support animal, I cannot work at the minute because of my treatment for type 1 bipolar disorder, and door dash doesn't allow me to save up abundantly enough, if you could even only share it I would greatly appreciate it. anyway hope you enjoy this and thank you for reading

Sleep and you have always had a complicated relationship. Fighting sleep as a kid, climbing out of your bed after your parents tucked you in, playing with your toys until you passed out among us. At sleepovers you were always the one who stayed up all night, too excited to actually get tired.

As a teenager spending nights before school desperately trying to finish homework, staying up until the early morning hours, quickly taking a shower before running to the bus. If you had no assignments your crush at the time would distract you, joking and blushing until it was time to leave for school, bags under your eyes prominent, but the loss of sleep was worth it.

Now the only thing you wanted was to sleep.

Insomnia took over your life. Staying up sometimes days at a time, struggling to calm your racing thoughts that were determined to keep you up at night. They won most nights. Laying in your bed, struggling to get comfortable or staring up at the ceiling, willing sleep to overtake you. Even with the medication from the doctor you struggled to get more than 3 hours a night.

You tried other remedies too. Drinking warm milk with cinnamon and vanilla, the warm concoction soothing but never tiring you out. Exercising before bed that truly made you feel amazing but never worked to tire you out, only forcing you to feel the soreness in your body as you laid in bed. No electronics before bed helped you finish multiple books series that you had wanted to start but never had time for, but didn't work.

Everything you tried was in vain. Sleep continued to evade you, and it only took a higher toll on your physical body.

Your appetite started to lessen, your weight slowly declined. The bags under your eyes only got deeper and darker. Concerns about your physical state came form your friends, their worries growing as you continued to get worst and worst. It came to a peak when you almost passed out at an outing, shaky from the constant stream of caffeine that you were consuming in order to function properly, your eyes fluttering close as you collapsed into their arms. Concern was properly covering their face, and they rushed you to the hospital, you were too weak to even try and decline them.

At the hospital they gave you strict instructions to stay home and rest, with someone watching you over to make sure that you were properly taken care of. Along with instructions you got even stronger medication, 20 mgs stronger than what you were currently taking.

Kun being the thoughtful person he is offered to watch you while you were on bedrest. He was the best candidate out of your friends, the others practically pushing you to accept him.

Kun has been the best assistant? nurse? friend that you could ask for. Constantly at your beck and call making sure that you were drinking plenty of water, cooking you fresh homemade meals, and making sure your medication was taken on time. Along with that he also did the awkward task of helping you to the bathroom, since you were still shaky and weak at times.

He did this all without complaint, catering to you everyday and making sure that you were cared for. Sometimes when he wasn't busy with his own work he would sit and watch a drama with you, or just engage in conversation telling you about his day, and the funny things he did and heard.

Having him helping you 24/7 for 2 weeks straight, had caused some unwelcome feelings. Your friends weren't surprised at that, having been part of the reason why they suggested he did it, knowing your past feelings for him. With only a week left of your bedrest you were saddened at the thought that he was leaving, going back to only talking to him once or twice a week whenever the friend group hung out.

Kun had actually been the one who surprised you. Seeing that you were still up one night, thoughts of him running through your mind when he entered your room. Upon seeing you awake he sat on your bed, holding your hand as you asked what's up. You weren't truthful. Who would be truthful in that scenario? 'Hey actually I was up thinking about my crush on you and the desire that I constantly have to kiss you."

You were positive that wouldn't have gone through well.

Kun rubbed your hand soothingly, listening patiently to you as you lied about what you were thinking about, fake worries and complaints about going back to work. Offering you advice was always Kun's strong suit so you were ready for some good advice despite your lies.

That's what got you in this peculiar position.

Lip tucked tightly between your teeth, the taste of copper on your tongue. One hand grasping at the pillow behind you squeezing it tightly between your fingers, the other intertwined with dark blue hair as you tried not to pull too hard.

Kun thought the best thing to clear your mind was sex, and who were you to deny his generous offer.

You felt your hips jerking as tongue pressed his tongue against your hole, shallowly fucking into you. His free hand rubbed up your thigh, the sensation combining with him eating you out causing your mind to start to go blurry. His hand continued to glide up, before pressing down on your hips, forcing them down on the bed.

Without the ability to move you could only lie there as he continued to tongue fuck you. The fire in your stomach increasing, and Kun seemed to know it as he kissed your clit before sucking on it aggressively, causing your first orgasm to rip through your body.

Kun continued his ministrations, licking up your cum causing the fire to come back threefold. Kun sucked on your clit, flicking his tongue over it as you wriggled from the sensitivity. He seemed to be made for this, the way his tongue knew the perfect ways to fuck you open, and he hadn't even involved his fingers or cock yet.

Pulling away from your cunt you saw your juices covering Kun's mouth leaking down his chin. His hair was sticking every which way how you were messing, and pulling on it. Kun looked like all of your wet dreams had happened to come through.

"So pretty." A laugh let his mouth, a smiling spreading over his lips.

"Wish you could see yourself," Kun slid his hand up and down your thigh, rubbing it soothingly, "You're gorgeous. I've been wanting to do this for so long."

Kun changed the positions so that you were on top, straddling his thighs. You could feel his cock straining against his jeans, rubbing over your oversensitive clit in the best way possible. A whimper left your mouth as you started to rock on him, but Kun stilled your hips. His hand slid to your chin, rubbing his thumb along the side of your jaw.

"Can I kiss you?" You didn't bother answering, meeting him halfway. His chapped lips moved against your own as if you've done it before, there was a familiarity to it that made you wrap your arms around his neck pulling him flush against your chest. Sliding his hands up and down your body, lips moving in sync against yours. You nipped at his lip, causing a loud groan to leave his mouth as he opened it for you. Sliding your tongue into his mouth you reveled in the feeling of him taking dominance. His hands gripping your ass tightly, his tongue roughly dancing with yours.

You pulled away, placing your hips on his shoulders as you continued to grind against him. Another groan leaving his mouth as he moved you against him, forcing you to press down harder and faster against him.

"God baby." He leaned back as he looked at you, admiring the way you moved against him, needy and wanting to cum again. "You're so need baby. Who's got you like this hm?" You dropped your head back, continuing to rock your hips against his. Kun felt his cock twitching in his pants at the sight, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you close to him, placing kisses along your neck and collarbones.

"Kun I need you." You tried to sound strict but it came breathy, a moan following it as he kisses over your jugular, nipping at it before listening to your 'command'. Flipping you over he gave you a peck, before pulling away to take off his clothes. You decided to join him stripping out of your shirt and throwing it across the room.

Kun crawled back over you, but he stopped just taking the time to stare at you.

"I need to say this before. I'm not just fucking you because of your insomnia, I'm not just fucking you to fuck you." Kun intertwined your fingers, "I really like you. I don't want this to just not mean anything to you, when I really like you. Even thought we're doing this backward I hope you can at least think of going on a date with me." You felt your face heat up, and the familiar feeling of fluttering in your stomach at his confession. Placing your hand on his cheek you leaned up, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"I like you too Kun. More than I can put words to." A big smile spread across his face as he leaned down, showering your face with kisses. "But if you don't put your dick in me right now, you might not ever get that date." A laugh left his mouth as he placed one last kiss against your check, before grabbing the base of his cock and rubbing it up and down your cunt. Collecting some of your juices over his tips he looked down as he pressed into you, muttering a fuck at the sight of you taking him in so well. You threw your head back feeling the fuzziness come back, feeling how well he slid into you.

When Kun bottomed out he placed your still intertwined hands on the pillow beside you, his other hand sliding back to your hip.

"Fuck you feel so good." He growled as he waited for you to adjust, feeling your tight walls practically sucking him in.

"Please move. Please I need you." Kun placed a gentle kiss on your pouty lips before pulling. Thrusting back into you he set a slow pace, being gentle with you not forgetting that you were still on bed rest. Your other arm wrapped around his neck, pulling you closer to him. Feeling skin against skin as he continued to slowly fuck you, enjoying the feeling of him being close to you.

It was more intimate than it should've been, being the first time that you two were having sex but with Kun it felt right. This was more love making than casual fucking and you wouldn't have it any other way. The coil in your stomach started to tighten, Kun's groans helping greatly to push you towards the edge, but the pace he had set wasn't doing it for you.

"Kun." He slowed down, hearing the desperation in your voice and not wanting to hurt you.

"Yes baby? Am I hurting you?" You could hear the slight panic in his voice and shook your head, before meeting his eyes.

"Faster please. I need you rougher." Kun pushed your hair back, before cupping your cheek.

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you, you were just hospitalized."

"Please fuck me harder. I need you to ruin me daddy." At your words Kun's eyes darkened and without warning he thrust into you hard, causing a punched out moan to leave your mouth.

The mood changed just the way you needed it to, instead of being slow love sex Kun was fucking you. Hips meeting during every perfectly timed thrust, hitting deep within you as the sound of his balls smacking against your ass filled the room. He let go of your hand, instead opting to grab your waist and pulled you to meet him halfway on every thrust.

Ceaseless moans leaving your lips at the feeling of him fucking into you so beautifully, filling every inch of you. Opening your eyes that hadn't even realized had closed you were met by the sight of Kun, sweat glistening over his abs and dripping down his face. His hair plastered to his forehead, as he bit his lip harshly trying to hold back his groans. Your neighbors should really thank him for having some self control.

Kun slowed down as he lifted your legs up, pushing them towards your chest, folding you in half as he continued his rough pace. This new position causing you to feel him in your chest, the feeling of fullness completely overtaking you as you orgasmed for the second time. He fucked you through your orgasm, the tingly feeling spreading towards your hips as overstimulation set in. Even though his cock was dragging against your walls beautifully, blunt tip pressing into your g spot it started to get painful.

The feeling of it being too much, but not enough at the same time. Tears welling up in your eyes, as Kun pressed against your legs pushing them back further and forcing his cock impossibly deeper.

"F-fuck daddy please." You didn't even know what you were begging for anyway, him effectively fucking you dumb, his hands gripping your thighs tightly to the point where you knew you'd have bruises the next day.

"So tight around me, your pussy is sucking me in even after two orgasms? What's wrong baby? Two isn't enough, you need me to milk another one out of you?" You couldn't respond to him, only listened to him as he spoke, groans leaving his mouth harmonizing with your moans almost.

"Poor baby is fucked dumb," A cruel laugh left his mouth as he stuffed two fingers into your mouth. You sucked on his fingers, twirling your tongue around them. "Can't even speak, only babble and suck on my fingers huh? Lucky you're so cute. You liked being called dumb huh? Can feel the way you're pussy clenched around me? Must be close again." You could only let out a muted moan, Kun's fingers still pressed against your tongue, gagging you effectively.

Pulling his fingers out of your mouth he slid his hand around your throat, tapping his too soaked fingers on the side of your neck.

"So close baby. So. fucking. close." Punctuating his words with an extra hard thrust in between you had lost the ability to think, his hand gently around your neck, more like an accessory but just at the thought of him choking you felt yourself drooling, his thrusts still reaching that spot inside of you that was so deep it'd never been touched before.

As if hearing your thoughts, Kun's hand tightened around your throat, pressing you against the mattress. You came at that moment, Kun's tip hitting your g spot perfectly. Your eyes rolled back as you felt like you had exploded, all of your energy draining out of you with your third orgasm of the night.

At the feeling of you clenching around him so tightly, practically holding you in place Kun pulled out and quickly jerked himself off, cumming over your lower stomach. Kun marveled at the sight of you laid out below him, lips swollen from biting them, hair frizzy from rubbing against the pillow, his white cum painting your stomach, a light red mark around your neck from his hand.

Kun let you sit for a couple minutes before carrying you to the bathroom for a well needed shower. Setting you on the toilet, he let you pee while he started the warm. When you were finished and the water was warm enough Kun helped you into the shower, letting you lean against him as he started to clean the cum from your body.

"Are you okay?" You looked up at Kun, basking in the feeling of the warm water running down your body as Kun rubbed the soapy loofa over your body.

"Never felt better." A crooked smile spread across your face, too tired to even continue the conversation. Kun kissed you on your temple , seemingly sensing it and helped you rinse out. After getting you redressed and back into your bed with clean sheets, Kun went to go to the living room until you grabbed his arm.

"Can you stay?" Even after having sex Kun was still nervous to sleep in the bed with you, but he obliged hearing your soft, sleepy voice. Climbing into bed with you he pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

"Thank you." Kun hummed, the vibration spreading through his chest and making you giggle.

"For?"

"Taking care of me." Kun placed another kiss on your head.

"You don't have to thank me. I wanted to care for you. Now get some sleep." Cuddling further into Kun, the beat of his heart along with the rise and fall of his chest lulled you to sleep.

For the first time in years, you slept like a baby.

#kpopcatalog #wayv #nct #wayv kun #wayv qian kun #nct qian kun #qian kun #Kpop smut #kpop fluff #sick fic #nct smut #wayv smut #wayv fluff #nct fluff

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margarethx · 3 years

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Sambucky writing prompts

Because I have a lot of ideas and no ability to focus on writing any of them right now... so I might as well share. Feel free to use any of these. You can tag me or send a link if you want to. (Unless it's ��a story about poor, sad Bucky... and Sam is kinda there to help” type of fanfiction, bacause I love Sam too much to read something like that.)

Let's go!

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1. Both Sam and Bucky are trained to be Winter Soldiers at the same time. On one of the shared missions they accidentally form a connection which helps them with slowly getting their memories back, so they can escape together.

2. The Winter Soldier is sent to kill one Samuel Thomas Wilson, but for some reason he just cannot do it. (Or he almost did and regrets it immediately.)

3. Bucky's a mechanic that Sam called to help with repairing the boat and he works very slowly on purpose to have an excuse to see Sam more often.

4. Sam can actually talk to birds (as he should!) and they start to be annoying always asking about his dating life.

5. Sam is a literal angel. That's the prompt. (And canon.)

6. Sam and Bucky go on long, separate vacation. But they somehow end up in the same country, the same town, and the same hotel. Probably the same room too. What a surprise...

7. Bucky knows a lot of things about Sam and Sam is sure he never told him about any of that. Turns out Bucky migh have done some research between 2014 and 2016 when Sam was looking for him.

8. Sam discovers that Bucky had something to do with picking the designs for his new superhero suit.

9. Bucky finally tries to bond with Redwing and Sam does a very bad job at pretending he’s not amused.

10. Bucky has to deal with a painful realisation that Sam is not a supersoldier and that no matter how strong he is he'll always be more likely to get seriously hurt on their missions.

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11. When they are frustrated Bucky starts to speak Russian and Sam responds to him in Arabic which doesn't solve the initial problem, but at least it's funny. (Bonus points if one of them - or both - pretends to not now the language the other one's speaking.)

12. Bucky has a terrible reputation and looks dangerous, so everyone prefers to avoid him, but then he meets Sam who just makes fun of his edgy persona all the time... and Bucky for some gay reason lets him. Everyone else is just very confused and worried about Sam’s safety. (Probably some University/High School AU.)

13. [It’s more like an art prompt, but whatever.] They both have long hair now. No plot. Just both of them being in love and appreciating how handsome the other one looks.

14. Since both Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan exist in the MCU canon I’d love to see Sam and Bucky’s reactions to their actors being on screen when they watch movies together.

15. Bucky didn’t have much experience with dating since 1940s and he thought he’d be the awkward one once he and Sam get together, but it turns out Sam was never in any relationship, because he was too busy and neglected that part of his life.

16. They both have the canon skills/powers, but only one of them is a superhero. The other is “their” villain. So still enemies to lovers, but a different flavour.

17. Sam always had the ability to talk to birds. He just... forgot to mention it before to other people, including Bucky. So the power-reveal is quite unexpected.

18. Sam and Bucky literally hate each other – it’s not just their canon-like amused annoyance. But then they start to learn what happened to the other one in the past and the feelings slowly shift from hatered into something else. (Might be a No Powers AU)

19. Sam thinks that Bucky misses the 40s. Well, he’s wrong.

20. Sam is a regular civilian (who never met Steve). He finds Bucky right after he escaped HYDRA and helps him go back to normal life. (He might know who he’s helping or not.)

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21. Bucky learns about Riley, but he doesn’t learn it directly from Sam.

22. Sam and Bucky come back after the Blip, see each other, and try to deal with the situation together, no knowing what has just happened.

23. Bucky explains to Steve why he won’t go back to the past with him. It’s mostly because of Sam, obviously.

24. A story about Sam and Bucky growing apart between Endgame and tfatws and how they dealt with feeling like they’re losing yet another person so soon. (And about them coming bact to each other again.)

25. Sam and Bucky learn how other people around them see their relationship. It doesn’t really mirror how they see this partnership themselves.

26. A classic role-swap. Sam is the Winter Soldier. Bucky’s the Falcon. Their personalities stay exactly the same.

27. Sam and Bucky try to tell someone who knows almost nothing about them how they met. (They lie or they don’t.)

28. Bucky deals with people who are openly against Sam as the new Captain. Sam deals with people who think Bucky should be locked up for being “with” HYDRA in the past.

29. Sam is still The Falcon and later Captain America, but Bucky’s a regular person who also happens to be Sam’s huge fan.

30. Dr. Raynor said she heard a lot about Sam (presumably from Bucky). But what exactly did Bucky tell her?

----- ------- -----

31. Only one of them died after the Snap. The other one has to live for five years, hoping they’ll be able to reverse it.

32. The first time Sam and Bucky saw each other: scared, feeling exhausted, really happy, genuinely laughing, truly angry, crying, completely resigned, flustered, shy.

33. After being frozen in Wakanda Bucky lost all memories related to Sam. Sam has to decide whether he should use the opportunity to start the relationship over or let Bucky know about their less-than-ideal beginnings.

34. Sam accidentally gets super-serum. Bucky helps him with adjusting.

35. Bucky accidentally loses super-serum. Sam helps him with adjusting.

36. Sam used to visit Wakanda when Bucky was frozen and talked to him a lot, even when Bucky couldn’t hear him. (Well, couldn’t he?)

37. They have a conversation about Steve, but it’s Sam telling Bucky stories from their friendship (how they met, what they did as fugatives, how Sam feels about Steve leaving without saying goodbye).

38. Sam and Bucky use time travel (because they survived the Snap or for other reasons) and they see the past versions of themselves alone or interacting with each other.

39. Sam and Bucky are stuck in Soul Stone together. The problem is that they cannot really hide their emotions or memories as well as they would be able to as real people.

40. After disappearing in the Snap Sam gets a chance to talk to Riley. They know Sam will eventually come back to life, but they still can spend time together and get some closure that will help with moving Sam’s relationship with Bucky forward.

----- ------- -----

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kenmaiid · 3 years

Text

Gamer! Barbatos

Barbatos + gn!reader

[ok not an actual gamer AU scenario sort of thing but no one talks enough about the fact that Barbatos canonically games and its driving me nuts]

the demon brothers | other dateables + Luke

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We already know its canon that Levi used to game with Barbatos, I mean he was literally trying his hardest to convince Diavolo into getting the butler to start playing with him again, so we know for certain he used to -So then why did he stop? Well, its rather obvious that the man is always so busy working around the school and the castle pretty much 24/7. He is booked and busy!! So it would make sense that he would just prioritize work much more than that -but he must be really good right if Levi himself is so desperate to bring him back to the gaming scene, if only to play with him? yeah?

Barbatos is more of a "I'm playing because you politely asked for a partner" rather than an "I'm playing in my free time of my own violation" (rip our dreams of gamerboyfriend!Barbs...)

I think he's pretty good at pretty much any game he touches honestly. He picks most things up instantly, used to many years of working under someone as eccentric as Diavolo. But that's not to say that he doesn't have a few moments where he doesn't fumble. Give him a minute though, he's a quick learner.

He seems like the type to be especially good at games like Monster Hunter, Fire Emblem or Octopath Traveler etc. Any sort of game that requires good battle tactics and strategy he absolutely eats it up. He likes something that offers some challenge.

Which leads me to think that he'd probably be quite good at any sort of competitive party type game as well! (Mario Kart, Mario Party etc) It might not show immediately on the surface but he enjoys just a little bit of friendly competition, especially if you’re not one to back down as well. He's a little sneaky like that. So good luck

I feel like it would be very silly goofy to witness him actually playing a game in person though. Something about seeing a controller in his gloved hands (or otherwise) just doesn't fit his image at all. Will probably joke about this aloud to MC once he notices the look of amusement on their face. "And just what is so funny over there, hm?" He smiles more-so to himself.

He's not the type to overreact when playing, or move his mouse or controller all over the place. He's just quietly poised and focused, perfectly still. Perhaps the slightest frown of irritation might frame his features if things aren't going the way that he likes, but he has all the time in the world, literally. Whatever tasks need to be done in-game, they will eventually get completed. So he doesn't stress about it too much.

What he can't really get behind are the more lax/'childish' games surprisingly. You'd think that he'd enjoy the tranquil or peaceful 'simpler' games more, but theyre not really his cup of tea (ha) : Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Roblox. I just feel like he would be momentarily confused, before figuring things out and quickly realizing that he feels absolutely ridiculous playing them. "I built this very elaborate... “ He frowns. “...square mansion home. What now, MC? Maybe a square garden I suppose...?" He frowns even more as you try not to laugh at his solid block avatar-

Probably not the fondest of mobile games either unfortunately. Might consider them to be just a little bit of a waste of his valuable work time. There's always so much to tidy up and take care of around the castle... The Devildom would crumble if he was just sitting there playing Flappy Bird tbh. Though The Young Prince certainly doesn't have any qualms against playing them when he should be doing paperwork-

Semi-related though I think he would be killer at Among Us. Literally a master manipulator. Everyone (minus Levi, MC and Solomon) just always automatically believes him about whatever task he says he was doing. ‘You were walking towards this hallway at the time of the crime? Okay Barbatos, let's vote Mammon out instead.’

Levi's always getting killed by him that’s why he never trusts him. And Solomon just seems like the type who would witness him killing and not say anything for the fun of it)

Though, if MC does catch him on a very, very, very, very, very rare day off when he isn’t attending to others, or shopping, or checking in on everyone else... then he’s most definitely spending his time with them. If MC asks nicely enough he might offer to let them watch him play something for just a little while. But only if they promise to join in later.

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itsany62 · 3 years

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SteveTony - Alternate Universe

Here are some Alternate Universe fics that I love. Don't forget to leave kudos and nice comments in every fic!

Food for the Heart, by LagLemon, 14 k >, Cooking, No Powers.

After being introduced to a gourmet food on a budget blog by Pepper (a gift for her elderly, cheapskate mother) Tony starts cooking again. The recipes are good, but the blog owner is even better. Still, Tony isn't so sure Captain America, the guy who runs the blog, can compete with Hot Bagboy, the gorgeous blond who works at the grocery store.

"Free to Good Home" by Captain_Panda, 7 k > words, Alternate Universe - Animals.

"Oliver and Company" AU.

There's a great big world outside the box.

But it's a dog-eat-dog world, and Tony's just one cat. Then a stray dog comes along, looking for a friend.

A Day In Principal Stark's Office, by nannersmelo, 10 k > words, Steve Single Parent, Director Tony.

Tony Stark has his hands full with not only Stark Industries, but also his beloved mother's life project: The Maria Stark Academy, and as he enters his office in order to deal with a ferocious mother whose son was apparently assaulted by one of his brightest students, he was sure this day would culminate in nothing but a heinous headache. Little did he know - he was in for one hell of a surprise.

I Am the Night by gottalovev, 6 k > words, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Vampire Tony Stark, Wizard Steve Rogers.

That's it. Tony is doomed. He rolls on his back, crosses his wings over his belly and closes his eyes. He'll await death here, misunderstood by the world to the bitter end.

C is for Calculus and Compromise, by heydoeydoey, 11 k>, Gifted AU, Post-Divorce, Angts with a Happy Ending.

Steve's just trying to give his prodigy daughter a normal childhood. Enter a meddling school administrator, Tony Stark, and too many lawyers.

tell you my love for you by jelliebean, 22 k > words, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Based on Love Simon.

A guy at Shield High comes out on tumblr, anonymously. Tony thought he was the only gay guy on campus--not out, because of Howard--and sends him an email.

“Hey, Flying. Same here. I’ve got a secret too, and it’s like I’m hiding who I am, every day. From everyone. All the closest people to me. But I just can’t tell them. I’m gay, too. It feels like I’m putting on this mask, this shell of who I think they want me to be. Even though I don’t think my friends would judge me. I don’t know why. I just. I’ve got a secret. –Shell”

The guy seems great--amazing, even, and then Hammer has to step in and ruin it all.

Mergers & Acquisitions by Robin_tCJ, 33 k > words, Angst, sex as currency.

Steve Rogers is the CEO of the Rogers Corporation, which he built from the ground up. When he learns that Hydra International is making a bid for a hostile takeover of Stark Industries, he decides he has to do what he can to stop Hydra from overtaking the market and becoming an unstoppable, unethical conglomerate. Tony Stark asks for something Steve isn’t sure he should give, but he does it anyway – and it completely changes everything. But when Hydra keeps coming, Steve and Tony realize there’s more to this than they’d realized.

Meeting the Monsters by itsallAvengers, 23 k > words, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters.

Tony's at public school with kids his age for the first time in seventeen years, and he is determined that this year is gonna be his year. He's going to make friends. He's going to be popular. People will like him.

Unsurprisngly, none of that actually happens.

He does sort-of-maybe fall in love with a vampire in his class that everyone is terrified of, though. So... there's that.

(I Want You To See) The Darkest Side Of Me by ann2who, 45 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Post-World War II.

In Monte Carlo, Steve meets the wealthy widower Anthony Stark. It’s love at first sight—at least for Steve—and he can’t believe his luck when Tony asks him to live at Stark Mansion, his large estate in Malibu. Never in his life had Steve thought something like this was possible… never had he been this happy. However, soon Steve realizes that Tony is still deeply troubled by the death of his first wife and haunted by the many ghosts she left behind. The longer Steve lives in her shadow, the more he understands that… He can never be what Tony’s wife had once been for him. And Tony might never truly love him.

Gift With Purchase Remix by sabrecmc, 43 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, hooker Steve, Sugar Daddy.

Gift With Purchase Remix wherein Steve actually is a hooker. But for a Really Sympathetic Reason.

The Little Glass Screwdriver by ann2who, 19 k > words, Cinderella AU.

When Prince Steven is forced to find himself a bride, true love gets in the way. As the night of the grand ball unfolds, the prince meets a mysterious knight who might just change his entire life in a way he could have never imagined.

**Cinderella AU**

Covered in Lines by royal_chandler, 3 k > words, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Alternate Universe - College/University, Age Difference.

He can’t lose sight of pale, deft hands that gesture on transitive verbs, an ink-stained thumb edging underneath Tony’s ribcage with an affection that can only be called dangerous.

half-wild and glimmering by deathsweetqueen , 15 k > words, Alternate Universe - Western, Prostitution.

“Give me a drink, Tasha,” Tony sighs as he lands in front of the bar. “I’ve had one hell of a day.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Have you really?” she asks, loftily, sliding a tumbler of whiskey along the well-polished wood.

Tony lets his head hang, the sweat beading on the back of his neck. “You wouldn’t believe what I’ve had to put myself through today,” he sighs, wearily.

“I would not know. You will not let me work the rooms,” Natasha retorts, her voice a little strained, busying her hands in a dirty glass.

“I don’t let you work the rooms ‘cause you’re liable to kill anyone who touches ya the wrong way and we can’t lose that much of our business,” Tony reminds her, wryly amused, sipping at his whiskey. He shakes his head at the burn. “We peddle flesh, darling, not death.”

peers, fears and holiday cheers by jacobby, 24 k > words, Parent Tony Stark.

“He’s only two years older than you,” Tony finally says when the silence becomes too much to bear.

“Dad, Teddy is turning twenty-seven next year.”

“I am not dating your husband—”

“I’m not implying you are. I just want you to be...aware that he’s practically the same age as my husband.”

AKA

Tony Stark's new boyfriend is only two years older than his adult sons. Telling them is one thing, introducing them is another. What Tony doesn't expect is that the past always has a way of catching up to him, of biting him in the ass when he least expects it. Well, at least they're all together for the Holidays. What more can he ask for?

A Higher Form of War by sabrecmc, 292 k > words, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Historical Romance.

Tony is a King with a surprising number of people out to kill him. Steve and the rest of the Avengers are fighting for Pierce's rebellion and end up with Tony as their prisoner. Oops.

you can call me babe for the weekend by complicationstoo, 10 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, actor Tony Stark.

Tony left his small town for Los Angeles after high school, leaving behind everything to pursue his dream. Ten years later, he comes back for the first time and finds that some things are impossible to let go of.

Lord, What Fools These Mortals Be by iam93percentstardust, 72 k > words, Alternate Universe - Theatre.

Famed director Phil Coulson brings Shakespeare’s beloved play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, to Broadway. This production though comes with a twist: a brief but passionate love affair between the faerie king, Oberon, and his attendant, Puck. In the roles of the two star-crossed lovers, Coulson casts America’s darling Steve Rogers, fresh off his third Academy Award, and Broadway royalty, Tony Stark. Steve quickly finds himself falling for the quick-witted and sarcastic actor but Tony is dating the stage manager. Unwilling to come between the seemingly happy couple, Steve steps back but all isn’t right behind the scenes and Tony may need him when everything falls apart.

and so we rebuild by raeldaza, 26 k > words, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Soulmates, Mutual Pining.

Sometimes, a voice whispers: you will never atone for your mistakes.

Tony believes that, believes it so strongly some days he drowns in it, but he still tries. Tries through Starfleet, tries through inventions, tries through missions. Then, one day, he meets his new Captain, and things change.

and teach this heart (how to beat with light), by starklystar, 40 k >, AU Hospital, Single parent Steve.

Eight years ago, at a funeral with a baby's cries ringing in his ears, Tony Stark decided to turn his life around. He's a genius, billionaire, philanthropist. What's so hard to adding 'doctor' to that list? And after that, it can't be that hard to add 'husband' and 'father' too, right? But the past has a way of haunting even the very best of us, and in any universe, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers have never had an easy love.

Featuring: drama, chaos, Peter's scheming, meddling friends, and doctors learning again that the heart can never be as simple as four chambers and four valves.

Catching Lightning in a Bottle by sabrecmc, 120 k > words, Alternate Universe - Sweet Home Alabama Fusion.

College student Tony meets janitor Steve at MIT and they fall blissfully in love, until Howard happens and things fall apart. One divorce paperwork snafu courtesy of the ever-helpful Jarvis, and ten years later, Tony has to get re-divorced from Steve.

This does not go as he imagines.

Or, the Sweet Home Alabama AU that no one--well, okay, a few of you--asked for.

The Night Shift by weethreequarter , 16 k > words, Alternate Universe - Hospital.

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

Cake It Till You Make It by ChocolateCapCookie, 10 k > words, Kid Fic, Alternate Universe - Bakery.

Steve Rogers and Tony Stark have a lot in common. They're single parents, they own rival bakeries at the center of town... and they both hate each other's guts.

When a mix-up at Peter and Morgan's school has both fathers scrambling to prove they're the better baker, they do the mature, adult thing and compete in a bake-off. Between the mixing and the creaming, the baking and the icing, Steve and Tony find that hate is actually not that far from love.

Looking for Heaven by foxxcub, 31 k > words, Alternate Universe - Regency, Marriage of Convenience.

When young Lord Anthony Stark learns Steven Rogers has enlisted in the army, he thinks he's seen the last of his tiny, headstrong, haughty stable boy. But four years later, Lord Stark gets an unexpected visit from Steve, whose mother has fallen gravely ill and into financial ruin. Even more unexpected, Steve agrees to a shocking proposal: they will marry, giving Steve the necessary funds to save his mother, and Tony the much-needed reprieve from harassing would-be suitors. It is a business arrangement, nothing more. But as time goes on and circumstances arise, Tony begins to learn that keeping his heart away from his husband is easier said than done.

just a guy, standing in front of another guy by theappleppielifestyle, 12 k > words.

“It’s not real,” Tony says, still smiling, jaw twitching with effort. “The fame. It’s - I’m just a guy."

(Or, Notting Hill AU, with a twist.)

Mother of Exiles (A Titanic AU) by BladeoftheNebula, 21 k > words, Alternate Universe - Titanic Fusion.

“You’ll never guess what just happened!” Steve said, taking a deep breath to try and calm his breathing. “I met someone. A guy from first class.”

Dublin 1912: Steve Rogers is barely making ends meet, living in the tenement slums of Dublin. But a stroke of good luck gives him and his best friend the chance to change their fortune. Two tickets to America on board the RMS Titanic.

The Devil You Know by shetlandowl, 17 k > words, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Author/Novelist.

Best selling author Tony Stark revives the bodice ripper genre for a modern audience. From frisky gay cowboys to ravenous lesbian pirate queens, he consistently delivers riveting thrillers full of romance, drama, and the filthy, unapologetically kinky sex that has become his trademark specialty.

Tony has everything a man could dream of - horny, adoring fans, and boatloads of money. Or that's what he thought, until Detective Steve Rogers walks into his life and turns it all upside down.

Bears and Mountains and Lumberjacks Oh My! by justanotherrollingstony (adoctoraday), 24 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Lumberjack Steve Rogers.

It was supposed to be easy--go meet the reclusive artist and buy some art. And then came the broken down car. And the snowstorm. And the lumberjack with a face like a greek god. So yea, Tony is stuck in a cabin in the woods with a hot lumberjack till the storm clears. Could be worse.

Series: A Furious Vexation by Annie D (scaramouche), 18 k > words, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse.

A Steve/Tony post-apocalypse AU that exists pretty much just for the smut.

That Feline Beat by Tito11, 5 k > words, Alternate Universe - Animals.

Presenting Steve and Tony in the Aristocats!AU

Tony and his three kittens have been kidnapped from their fancy Upper East Side apartment while their owners are away and deposited on the mean streets of Harlem. Unsure of where they are or how to get back home, they'll have to rely on street cat Steve to guide them. Will they get home safely? Will Tony's fear of abandonment cause him to drive away the best tomcat he's ever known? Only time will tell.

do you fondue? by calciseptine, 16 k > words, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting.

Tony has done crazy things in the name of food, but falling in love with Steve Rogers really takes the cake.

a glimpse of heaven's love by parkrstark, 13 k> words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Terminal Illnesses.

The child begins to empty his pockets. He starts to count coins on the counter. Tony huffs a little impatiently as he realizes most of them are pennies.

The cashier actually humors the kid and counts along with him. They reach 3 dollars and 54 cents before he shakes his head sadly. "Sorry, kid. There's not enough here."

The kid sounds close to crying. "I need these paints for my Papa. It's Christmas Eve and these...he doesn't have any. The doctors said he doesn't have long. I want him to have these. In case he meets Jesus tonight, I want him to paint one more time. Please."

Tony takes a step forward, arms still full of toys he's buying just because. He can cover this child's gift for his dying father. Money. Money is what he's good for.

"I'll buy them."

Or, the Christmas Shoes AU no one but me asked for.

If you survive first impressions, you're good to go by itsallAvengers, 3 k > words, Parent Tony Stark, Alternate Universe - No Powers.

The first time Peter Parker-Stark sees Steve Rogers, he may or may not be standing in direct path of the man's motorcycle.

His daddy is really not going to be happy about that one.

A Rat-ional Conclusion by BladeoftheNebula, 6 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Veterinarians, Parent Tony Stark.

He had a strong flurry of patients throughout the morning and by the time it rolled around to noon, he was just about worn out.

He walked out into the reception, stretching until he felt a satisfying pop. “Are we done?”

Bucky checked the screen. “Just about. One more before lunch - a rat, singular.”

Steve breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully straight forward then. “Great, let me know when they-”

He was interrupted by the bell over the door and looked up to see a little girl cradling a small animal carrier, being shepherded through the door by easily one of the hottest men he’d ever seen in real life.

Oh wow.

Tidal Pull by sabrecmc, 97 k > words, Octopus Tony Stark, Alternate Universe - Shipwrecked.

After the American Civil War, Union soldier Steve Rogers takes a chance on an opportunity to sail with the Stark Trading Company down in the Caribbean. During a terrible storm, his ship is lost. To his surprise, he survives, and ends up stranded on an island that isn't quite as deserted as he first thinks.

Or, a reverse Little Mermaid tale where Steve has to fall for the fish-man.

Twelve Days by elysianprince, 22 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Ghosts.

In which Tony finds himself in a town that looks like it crawled out of a Hallmark Christmas movie, trying to sell an inn he didn't know he owned, all while dealing with Steve Rogers, the resident ghost who has returned to haunt the inn each December during the twelve days of Christmas for the past seventy years. Tony has only one logical solution that benefits them both: break the curse that binds him - but falling for a man almost a century old wasn't among his plans.

She kissed me by S_Horne, 1 k > words, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting.

“Your mom kissed me.”

Steve blinked awake and lifted his head from his pillow to look over at the silhouette in the doorway. “What?”

“Your mom,” Tony reiterated. “She kissed me.”

“Yeah,” Steve said simply, “she does that.”

#stevetony #stony #fic rec #tony stark #steve rogers #my recs

226 notes · View notes

realcube · 3 years

Text

haikyuu!! characters with a chubby! s/o 💗

characters: tsukishima, oikawa, atsumu, osamu & suna

thank you anon for this cute request 🥺

tw// comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, insecure! reader, swearing, they/them reader but reader wears a dress (in osamu’s)

(a/n): anon requested comfort but i feel bad bc i’m writing this like ‘no, (y/n)! stop being sad! you’re beautiful! 😡’ then i remember that i can just select+delete the pain away💗💖

Kei Tsukishima

let’s not pretend like tsukki gives a fuck what you look like tbh ✋

like nobody is ‘perfect’ and everyone is insecure (to varying degrees) so why would he care about your weight?

nobody ticks every single box to meet society’s definition of ‘beauty’

plus, tsukki thought beauty standards were stupid away so he created his own - and you meet every single one 💖

in fact, almost everyone meets his beauty standards - besides himself ‘:)

he seriously doesn’t care about your weight tbh, it’s the most trivial thing so why would he care?

although, he wasn’t naïve enough to think that everyone was like-minded

your front of ‘i don’t care about what other people think of me’ was strong enough to fool even the most observant of poeple, including tsukki

however, tsukishima failed to take into consideration that you were his girlfriend, meaning that you could be playing the same game as him; ‘pretend to not care about superficial things like beauty so nobody will think for a second that you are insecure about your body’

he wasn’t one to give compliments but neither were you tbh so the mutual agreement y’all have of ‘let’s call each other names as a form of endearment to avoid those awkward moments were you are looking for the right words for praise but can’t come up with anything’ was fair

but after you accidentally sent him a self-deprecating ‘joke’ message that was clearly meant for a friend, he never passed up the opportunity to compliment you ever again

like he kinda just stared at the message like 😮 ‘does (y/n) seriously care about their weight? why? it doesn’t even matter. how stupid! who told them that the shape of their body is important? bc it’s not..’

then he turns to look in the mirror like ‘wow you srsly need to put on muscle, lanky bitch. or else (y/n) will probably leave you for some built jackass like kuroo. pick up some weights, noodle arms!’

anyway, he’s not too good with words and comfort in situations like these but he’ll probably reply to your text with something out-of-character and surprisingly sweet

to paraphrase (bc the actual text would probably be like a whole damn persuasive essay LMAO he starts with the introduction, makes five points and finishes with a conclusion pfft) , i think it would be something like: ‘hey, (y/n). ik that text was probably meant for one of your friends (but if they’re the ones making you feel bad about your weight then you should probably drop those toxic cunts anyway 💅✨) but i just wanted to say that even though you are the biggest clown i’ve ever met (/j) you’re still v beautiful 💗 stop being insecure or i’ll pass away ⚰💀 ok thx love you bye’

Tōru Oikawa

how are you insecure if you’re dating oikawa? /j

like he is such a hypeman

whenever y’all take pics in your ✨fancy outfits ✨ for formal event, he acts as though you are second most beautiful thing on the face of this earth 😍 (second to him ofc)

but he only does that so he can keep up the reputation he has of being effortlessly confident bc he’s scared that if it slips for even a second, everyone will see how truly insecure he is

truthfully, in his eyes, you come first place by miles (❤ ω ❤)

like srsly, you’re so gorgeous in that dress!! he hopes that you know that he is joking about the whole ‘second place’ thing bc you should be able to tell by the way he looks at you that you’re genuinely the most striking person he’s ever laid his eyes on

you never acted overly confident in front of him but he definitely didn’t think you were as insecure as you are

he thought you were just..humble :)

sometimes he’d hear you mutter something mean about yourself as you passed the mirror but he paid no mind to it as he figured that you just cared about your appearance and wanted to maintain a certain image

however, once he was made aware that you didn’t want to maintain your image but rather, change it - he never let you murmur anything nasty about yourself under your breath ever again, not without proceeding to tackle you to the ground and shower you with his love, affection & praise 💞💕❤

and he never made a ‘second place’ joke ever again, he started his honesty streak by reassuring you that you’ll always be the number one in his eyes 🤩

also, after that, he was a lot more open about his own insecurities with you and you made sure to respect them and help him in a similar way that he did

there is just so much love and admiration between the two of you and at first you were both to shy to express it but now, you both are showering each other in compliments 24/7 bc you both just want the other one to know how perfect you view them as (❁´◡`❁)

Atsumu Miya

atsumu is a hypeman like oikawa but...better :)

IT’S BC HE HAS NO SHAME

he’ll compliment you on anything you wear and he makes it a point to use the most inappropriate compliment as possible, relative to the outfit you’re wearing

so if you’re wearing your pyjamas, he’ll call you ‘glamourous’

if you are wearing a swimsuit, he’ll call you ‘elegant’

if you’re in your work clothes/school uniform, he’ll call you ‘sexy’

and if you’re in lingerie, he’ll call you ‘adorable’

but it makes you blush so hey, no complaints

so when he finds out that you’re actually insecure about your weight, he’s just like ‘no ❤’

like he hates the idea that when you look in the mirror, you don’t see the god(dess) he sees

like why? it’s the same person

💞 fuck ‘perception’ 💞

💕 ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ TF YOU ARE THE FUCKING BEAUTY💕

grrr he was so mad

but he was also soft

he was like ‘if (y/n) insecure? then why hot? then why pretty? then why fit perfectly into my arms?’

plus, THIGHS

he’d never diss a person bc they had small thighs or anything BUT he’d also NEVER complain about being given the chance to be with someone with some good thighs 👍

tbh the best could do to help was compliment you ten times harder to eliMINATE ALL YOUR INSECURIES

(and ofc i don’t mean that in a way - for example - if you’re insecure about your nose, he’ll fkn chop it off......he won’t chop your nose off LMAO he’ll just show you how much he loves it, to the point where you have no choice but to love it too ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ )

anyway, plz love (or at least, tolerate) yourself or else he’ll suffocate you with all his love and affection :D

Osamu Miya

osamu is at a loss when it comes to typical beauty standards tbh

to him, weight (and most things) are similar to..hand size, for example

just like how you can’t imagine someone feeling self-conscious about the size of their hand (especially if their hand is a healthy size)

he can’t imagine why some one would be shamed for their weight (especially if they’re a healthy size)

so had no idea you could possibly be insecure about something like that and he probably on realised after a few years in the relationship 😅

there was a formal event coming up and y’all were going as dates so you wanted to shop for outfits together

as couples do ✌

anyway, he was on a dress site, scrolling away until you pointed out one that you thought was pretty - and it matched the color of the tie osamu bought too!

it was a fair price (for a formal dress 🙄 which is probably like $68/50) so osamu was like ‘buy it then ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’ bc he thought it would so gorgeous on you

but you were like ‘no’

and after he pried further, you explained how you thought it wouldn’t ‘suit your body type’

GRRR HE dislikes IT WHEN PPL SAY THIS SO MUCH BC HOE YOU DON’T HAVE A BODY TYPE YOU’VE GOT A BODY 😡💕 WEAR THE DAMN DRESS IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL

but like deadass it’s not your blood type- it’s just a thing ppl made up to make ppl (mostly women) feel bad about themselves for no reason

but that might just be his inner atsumu talking 🤷‍♂️

he didn’t even know what to say at first- he was just like ????? body type ????

but once he figured out what you meant, he still had no idea what to say- at least, without sounding rude

what if someone came up to you and told you they were insecure about the shape of their knee.......what do you even say???

so he was silent for like the rest of the day

you decided to give him some space just in case something happened which had upset him

he had no idea what to say, in all honesty, so he hoped that his actions spoke louder than words

around 3 days had passed since you last spoke to osamu and you were beginning to think something you had said made him uncomfortable

you were studying in your room until there was a ring at your door so you rushed downstairs and you opened it to reveal a package sitting on your doormat

you had recently ordered some cleaning equipment so you were sure that the content of the package was probably that

so imagine your surprise when you tear it open to reveal — you guessed it — the dress 💕

Rintarō Suna

when he says that he doesn’t care what ppl look like, he means it

he upkeeps his own appearance though bc..it’s his!

like why would he care about what weight you are? that’s none of his business

as you can tell, he’s generally not shallow but sometimes when y’all are just cuddling and your face is pressed to his chest, the words ‘you’re so cute’ just fall from his lips

so ofc he appreciates compliments over his skills, personality, humour etc over flattery about his appearance

hence, the praise he gives you is usually based around those things too bc he just thinks that you’re just like him in the fact you don’t appreciate skin-deep comments

so when he found out that you’re actually insecure about your weight (or something else), he kinda blames himself

he thinks that the whole reason you’re not extremely confident in your appearance is all due to him and the fact he fact he maybe didn’t compliment you on your looks enough — but that’s not to say that he doesn’t think you’re beautiful

you’re the most radiant person he’s ever laid his eyes on and he thought you knew that regardless of whether he vocalised it or not

he wasn’t really sure what to do tbh

bc he loved you and wanted to comfort you ofc but he was scared of making things worse

like what if something he says accidentally makes you so upset that you break-up with him 😭

but he knew he couldn’t just stay silent about the issue, especially when he wanted to say to much

thus, he sent you a heartfelt message on discord

(rather than snap, whatsapp etc so he could edit it after he posts it bc knowing him, he’ll probably write something, reread it ten times then as soon as he hits send, he spots a bunch of mistakes)

and he’d explain how you’re simply divine regardless of your insecurity and if anything, it just makes you cuter 😍

ok ok so i really don’t want it so seem like he has a fetish bc HE DOESN’T

but he think your curves are so fun and pretty ❤

like everything about you is pretty but suna just can’t comprehend why you’re insecure about something like your weight when he literally adores it (bc he adores everything about you)

486 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 3 years

Text

I feel another fanon debunk session coming over me, and this one’s a BIG one.

Let’s talk about the DickKory breakup, and why it happened.

Yup, we’re going there.

Before we get going though, I want to make one thing abundantly clear: this is NOT an invitation to bash on Kory. There will be no bashing of Kory on this post if I have anything to say about it, and its my post, so I do. So nyah nyah. But seriously like, don’t get my reasons for making this post wrong. I LOVE Kory. I SHIP Dick/Kory. And I don’t actually blame Kory for any of this, no matter how the page I’m about to show makes it appear, for reasons that I will get into later in this post, but like. I really truly don’t. I don’t think the Dick/Kory breakup ultimately was either of their fault. I think it was the painful end result of them both hitting rock bottom due to endless external fuckery with their lives and their minds during the tail end of their relationship, making it all but impossible for them to be there for each other the way they truly needed and WANTED to be....ultimately forcing them to break off and BOTH try and reorder their lives on their own. But IMO, this NEVER actually marked a dissolution of their feelings for each other, no matter what either (particularly Dick) eventually claimed in order to rationalize things to themselves.

I do however think some of the other Titans bear some culpability for not seeing things as they truly were here. I can understand given what they all went through during this time period like, how maybe it became easier to just blame Dick especially as he has a tendency to be so willing to accept blame? And so I think a lot of conclusions were jumped to that at other times they WOULD have spent more time thinking through. But here and now they didn’t simply because they were so relieved to HAVE an easy, simple explanation for things going wrong and someone to blame, someone who ACCEPTED blame. And thus more easily allowing them to speed through to the portion of events where they worked on ‘forgiving him’ for what he’d done so they could all move past it.

Okay, so let me stop talking in code for those of you who have only the faintest idea of what I’m talking about.

Traditional fanon states - and most wiki summaries I’ve seen actually CORROBORATE this, which drives me COMPLETELY up the wall because I would like to have WORDS with whomever wrote each of these wiki summaries - that ultimately, Dick and Kory broke up because they rushed into things with the wedding and both realized they weren’t actually ready to get married.

Let me be clear: this is totally and completely 100% true.

Fanon and wikis go ON however, to conclude that the ‘fault’ lies with Dick, because he was the one who jumped the gun in proposing, and that he only DID so, because he thought getting married would ‘help him finally grow up’ and ‘hit one of the milestones he thought he was missing while everyone else his age that he’d known in high school and stuff were graduating college and getting married and having kids right about now.’ And also that he eventually concluded that he didn’t actually love Kory the way he thought he did and needed to let her go for her sake.

Now let me also be clear: this is also MOSTLY true in the sense that he did eventually THINK these thoughts, some ten or fifteen issues after their crashed wedding, when he was off on his own and thinking through everything that was going on in his life and trying to make sense of the decisions he’d been making lately, most of which he was unhappy with.

The one part that ISN’T true is that last bit, which a lot of people extrapolate from and use as their basis for saying Dick ‘fell out of love with Kory’ and ‘realized that he no longer loved her the way he once had,’ with this leading into why they never got back together after Kory returned to Earth in the Titans revival series in the late 90s.

HOWEVER.

There’s a tiiiiiiiiiny little correction I must make to that last part, which might seem insignificant, but becomes ABUNDANTLY important when added to some other much needed - and much ignored overlooked - context:

Dick never ACTUALLY said or thought that he didn’t love Kory anymore, full stop. What he actually said, in its entirety, was that he realized “he never really loved Kory the way she deserved to be loved.”

Why is this distinction so important? Hang on just a sec, we’re almost there.

Now I would like to share with you, for those who have never seen this page or those who perhaps have forgotten it or its significance, the EXACT page where Dick proposes to Kory, from The New Titans #99, one issue before their wedding special in issue #100. (What’s that? You’re surprised that they got married the very issue after the proposal? You thought that they were engaged for a lengthier period of time? Ohhhh don’t worry, fair readers. We’ll get there. Ohhhh we’ll get there).

But first, those of you who have never actually read this page before, I would like you to take a look at it, and see if you can Where’s Waldo what it is about this page that makes my blood reach a boiling point in excess of 2000 degrees Fahrenheit every time someone utters the words “Dick rushed into marriage because he thought it would make him grow up or hit some important life milestone.”

Take a gander, what do you see:

See it? Get what I’m talking about?

Any talk of Dick and Kory breaking up because they weren’t ready to get married, and Dick having been the one to rush them into it before they were ready, COMPLETELY fails at accurately representing the events of that time if it fails to mention the fact that:

DICK ONLY PROPOSED WHEN HE DID BECAUSE HE WAS DESPERATE TO CONVINCE KORY, HIMSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT HE LOVED HER AND ONLY HER AND SLEEPING WITH MIRAGE HAD MEANT NOTHING!

(Since, y’know, he didn’t actually sleep with her so much as he was raped by her).

I mean, your mileage may vary, but me, I happen to think that bit there is pretty CRITICAL FUCKING INTEL when it comes to this whole matter.

Claiming Dick is to blame because he rushed into marriage because he was looking to grow up or hit some milestone utterly FAILS as an analytical conclusion in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY....

When there is both ZERO indication from him BEFORE the proposal, that those are reasons or thoughts he has that has him leaning towards proposing.....

As well as ZERO reflection AFTER the failed wedding, that being desperate to convince everyone who thought he’d cheated on Kory that he really did love her, was at all a key motivating factor in him proposing when and how he did.

Like it or not, Mirage and the storyline surrounding that is utterly CRUCIAL to the DickKory breakup, because EVERY mention of that describes the cause of that breakup being rushing into marriage, and if you take away that storyline - and every character’s reaction to it - there is absolutely NO reason to even THINK Dick would still have proposed when he did.

And thus, leaving the Mirage story ENTIRELY out of all talk of the end of Dick and Kory’s relationship, is just....blatantly not indicative of what the story actually was.

Now, in addition, I know we tend to talk about this story as though DC sucks for never calling the rape what it was, and say that if DC’s not willing to treat these things as what they really are, they shouldn’t be using them as story points. First order of business: Yes DC sucks a lot and their handling of all this sucked.

BUT.

It is also not entirely accurate to say that they never TREATED this story as what it was.

Because while everyone else may have been fixated on it as Dick cheating on Kory....initially, at pretty much every point UNTIL the wedding....Dick at least was STEADFAST in not considering HIMSELF having cheated. I mean, look at his language in just the page above. He talks about being “repulsed” by what Mirage did. The writers might have never actually called what happened to Dick ‘rape,’ but initially they were VERY consistent in nevertheless writing him as someone who at least to some degree felt victimized by what happened, rather than culpable. He was trying to convince everyone ELSE to see it that way - until eventually he kinda gave up, and started to see it THEIR way.

You can literally see him already starting to make the pivot towards rationalizing that POV to himself in the above page....he talks about ‘thinking with his hormones’ and that leading him to make a mistake, even though his hormones had nothing to do with whether what happened was wrong or not.....it was always entirely about: would he have consented to sex with Mirage IF he knew she wasn’t really Kory. Thinking with his hormones in no way addresses the fact that its completely unreasonable to expect anyone to be so on guard 24/7, even in the privacy of their own bedroom with their own girlfriend, that they have their eyes peeled for an impostor even there.

In fact, imagine what the others would have all said if Dick hadn’t slept with Mirage that night, or else had confided in them later that it felt not right, that something was wrong, at some point BEFORE Mirage entered and told Dick in front of everyone that it had actually been her. How likely do you think it would have been that instead of taking Dick at face value, many of them would have instead viewed this as just another time Dick was exercising “Bat-paranoia” rather than allowing himself to be intimate with a loved one the way normal, non-Batfolk do, y’know? Do you think they would have automatically agreed with him that there was something up and he had reason to feel that ‘something wasn’t right about Kory’ when Dick probably still would have had no idea what for sure he felt was off, let alone that it wasn’t ACTUALLY her? Or would they have gotten on his case about how this is just him self-sabotaging again and letting his issues come between him and someone he cared about?

Tbh, one of the things that was greatest about Dick and Kory’s relationship IMO was that she was one of the best at getting him out of his own head. With Kory, when they weren’t both being jerked around by brainwashing plots and the like, Dick was better at just....letting go and just being himself around her. He didn’t feel like he had to constantly be on his guard or waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ironically, IMO, Dick DOES have a tendency to self-sabotage at times and let paranoia or other issues keep him from totally dropping his defenses and letting himself be vulnerable with other people.....meaning he probably would have been MORE likely to cue into something being off, if it had been anyone BUT Kory he’d been dating when Mirage replaced them.

So bottom line is, you can’t actually fully blame the writing for the others’ reactions to this story. Because whether they ever actually acknowledged it or not, for a good ten to fifteen issues up to the wedding, the writers pretty consistently depicted Dick as someone who was and felt victimized, even if he didn’t consciously realize it yet himself, let alone why. There were repeated moments between Kory initially breaking up with him after it happened through this proposal above, where it basically reads like Dick yelling “Ask me how violated I feel! Go on, ask me!” Except he never really got the chance because he was too busy replying to everyone around him that he hadn’t cheated on Kory, he thought he was WITH Kory, and that was the ONLY reason he had sex that night.

Slight tangent - this btw, is why I can never even get worked up enough about Nightwing Annual #2 to be like, defensive about it. That was the flashback issue written YEARS after all these events, where retroactively Andreyko inserted at some point between this proposal and the wedding - without changing anything else or the events he wrote ever being brought up or acknowledged again - a story where Dick went to visit Babs to personally deliver her wedding invitation....but only AFTER they slept together. And then when he gave her the invitation and she got furious about what had just happened, he just blithely said oh Kory won’t mind, and Babs was like yeah well I MIND!

Which was a totally valid reaction for Babs to have to those events as depicted, its just....I can’t remotely take them seriously, not when I’ve actually READ the events that by Andreyko’s own admission are meant to bookend that story. So you’re telling me, that right after Dick proposes to his longtime girlfriend SPECIFICALLY because he’s desperate to convince her he loves only her and would never willingly sleep with anyone else......he would go and sleep with someone else between then and the wedding? And then just without a hint of remorse say oh what’s the problem, Kory would be fine with it - when literally everything else about the wedding even HAPPENING was based on the fact that he knew for a fact that Kory would NOT in fact, be fine with that? Umm, make it make sense, except you can’t, because that story and the point where it makes sense are in two entirely different galactic quadrants. Green Lanterns couldn’t make it from Point A to Point B. So lol, sorry not sorry, I’m gonna stay not taking that story or claims that Dick is ACTUALLY a cheater, like, remotely seriously. I mean, your mileage may vary, but I especially don’t think anyone who can make excuses for Bruce’s many transgressions being OOC like, has any business trying to pass this particular story off as in character, but WHATEVS. Like, you CAN do it if you really want to, but I mean, I’m just gonna think that’s silly. I’ll be like OMG you’re so silly. Why are you so silly, can we just stop with all the silliness. And then like, I’ll go do something else or whatever.

(Oh and for the record, the wedding was the issue after Dick proposed, but it wasn’t meant to be like, the day after or anything. BUT we do know it was still pretty damn soon after, like at most a week or two....because the concurrent storyline was Roy being upset because the government was trying to shut down the Titans and said they would unless Roy took leadership from Dick and ousted him, which Roy understandably was NOT keen to do, even and especially with everything going on as the Titans were a family first and foremost and he was stuck between trying to preserve them and keep them going and betraying everything they stood for by basically instigating a vote of no confidence in Dick’s leadership.....but point being, Roy kept stalling the government agent asking for his answer......when said agent was very impatient, and asked repeatedly both in issue #99 AND issue #100. So you’re never going to convince me Roy managed to stall said agent for months or whatever, or any longer than a couple weeks at most, to allow for Dick and everyone else to put together a shotgun wedding for him and Kory. Which just further adds to the make it make sense aspect of the above mentioned Annual, but I absofuckinglutely digress).

Anyway.

NOW, let’s bring it back around to when I said like, don’t do the thing, don’t actually blame Kory for any of this, don’t you do it? /paraphrase

Yeah. So we’re there at that point now, and I reiterate once more for the court, like, hey, what if you just don’t? Y’know? Even if you’re looking at her dialogue in the above page I posted and are like, I’m feeling the urge, the urge to.....idk something that rhymes with urge but is bad I guess? Whatever. Just like. Don’t do it. Say nasty things about Kory because of this story three times in front of your computer and I will totally like, be conjured by that and crawl out of your screen all creepy girl from The Ring style. It will NOT be pretty. I am NOT meant to fit through there. I can NOT make it look good. You have been warned.

Okay so like, the reason I say none of this is on Kory even though I don’t make the same distinctions for the other Titans is threefold. No, lbr, its probably more on account of I can’t count and I’m always wrong about this shit. But let’s start with three.

1) The first thing we need to address is the fact that Dick WAS acting erratically and out of character through all of this time, even before what happened with Mirage. This was still in the near aftermath of Titans Hunt, and he was still reeling from that, and holding himself totally accountable. People who’ve followed me for awhile have probably seen me fixate on Titans Hunt before, but I honestly don’t think anyone who hasn’t read the full extent of comics from that storyline all the way through like....The New Titans #115 or so, like.....truly grasps the extent of just HOW much that single storyline affected Dick. He was at rock bottom because of it in a way that is probably only truly comparable with the Blockbuster storyline, but for even LONGER. Like the span of comics I referenced just now covers probably like....almost fifty issues.

That’s fifty issues where Dick consistently brings up his failure to stop that and how much Joey and Charlie and Arella and everyone else’s deaths during that like, just weighs on him, and fucks with his confidence and just.....his overall sense of purpose and self. He WAS lost and aimless for a lot of that time. And he DID absolutely even recognize HIMSELF that it was affecting him. Like ten issues or so after the crashed wedding, when he’s on his own journey of self-discovery while looking for Kory in the Amazon (uh yeah, that’s a thing. I’ll get to that)....like, he acknowledges to himself that ever since the Titans Hunt he’s been getting crazier and more demanding (his words) and he doesn’t even recognize himself anymore...and he attributes all of that to not having come to terms with their deaths and his inability to prevent them.

Now, notably, he DOESN’T ever at this time acknowledge that his behavior took an INCREASINGLY downward spiral ever since Mirage and specifically due to everyone blaming him for what he deep down felt wasn’t actually his fault but was losing conviction in. And quite frankly, even though he SAYS at this point he’s ready to move on from their losses, I don’t think that actually happened, but I’ll get back to both those things. First, the important point here, in terms of Kory, is that from her perspective, Dick had been increasingly unpredictable and not himself ever since the losses during Titans Hunt. Actually, given that she was the one who went with him to the Manor after Jason’s death and the only one who saw him come in and out and who thus knows the full extent of what transpired there - with this all happening not long before Titans Hunt - you could additionally say her awareness of that also has her almost prepared to expect the totally unexpected from Dick at this point.

Does that mean its right? No. But it does mean that its there.

2) Next. Kory was not actually offered the chance by the storyline to internalize what happened between Mirage and Dick from a stable, grounded headspace. Mirage KIDNAPPED Kory and replaced her before she slept with Dick. In the grand scheme of things, what happened to Kory specifically here is probably far from the worst thing that’s ever happened to her, but it couldn’t have been pleasant and I’m the first to yell NO TRAUMA OLYMPICS so in that spirit, fuck whether it was as bad as it COULD have been, and again, just acknowledge that it happened, and its reasonable and expected that it would have a negative effect on Kory. She was targeted and victimized by Mirage too. Not in the same way as Dick, but add that to the fact that unlike the other Titans, she was the one IN the relationship with Dick and thus the only one besides him that had a stake in what Mirage’s actions served as a catalyst for in that regard, like....she was not an impartial bystander to all this, and that needs to be considered. She was PART of it. It was her life that was hijacked by all this too.

3) Third.....it is extremely extremely EXTREMELY important here to acknowledge that Kory is herself a rape survivor. She has extensive trauma from her childhood in the Citadel, and that is bound to color her perceptions of what happened here, at least initially. I am 174% soooooo not here for vilifying another rape survivor in defense of a different rape survivor. Like, I’m just saying.....do not throw Kory under the bus for not acknowledging Dick’s trauma and trauma responses as a rape survivor in this story if you’re not also YOURSELF acknowledging Kory’s OWN trauma as a rape survivor.

This is key not because it says any opinions she had at this time don’t count, but rather that they simply don’t come from the same place as the VICTIM-BLAMING that is the central issue with others holding Dick accountable for his own rape. In Kory’s case, we have to consider the issue of projection. The ways in which her own experiences and how they’ve informed her DEFAULT perception of something that deeply affected her, might skew her initial reaction to experiences which share a LABEL, but not specific ELEMENTS.

What I mean here is both Kory and Dick, as of this point in time, are rape survivors. But they survived very very VERY different kinds of rape. Both were abundantly clear that they DID NOT WANT what happened to them, that they were not willing parties to what actually transpired....but what springs to Kory’s mind when someone says “I didn’t want the sex that happened” is understandably going to look VERY different from what Dick was describing when he said “I didn’t want the sex that happened.” So its not really all that unreasonable for Kory to hold those two things up in her head and say these are not the same, and from there jump to the unfortunate conclusion that Dick HAD wanted it on some level, else it would have looked more like her own experiences...especially because others around them were already voicing and affirming this opinion in various ways.

Again, is this fair, or deserved? No. But I talk all the time with other characters and with Dick himself about how its just not reasonable to expect characters - especially ones with highly CHARGED emotions related to their own parallel experiences - to act from an unbiased state or POV and thus leap to the most ideal conclusion without at least first stumbling through some other ones. So with Kory, her own context with rape simply CAN NOT be divorced from the fact that recognizing the central issue of this later moment in time was that it was a rape. Her own experiences and the likely projection of them onto the moment at hand add a degree of context to conclusions she arrived at that other characters simply do not have....and thus, again, its not okay to paint her with the same brush as all those characters. And unless you’re already somehow making a distinction as to why her reaction is different from others despite superficially appearing the same......then like. You need to be. LOL.

4) The other factor that’s important to consider here is that just like Kory was never offered the chance to RECEIVE information of what happened from a relatively grounded place and headspace....the stories never gave her any real time to think things through, process over time, and arrive at different conclusions from her earlier ones. Again, I talk all the time about how Dick’s experiences with the Titans pre-his time in Bludhaven were colored by multiple instances of brainwashing and his head being fucked with and being personally targeted and jerked around in a ton of ways? The same is true of Kory, and it needs to be given equal weight.

Their wedding was crashed by ‘the dark soul self’ of Raven - who they thought was dead - as she infected Kory with what she called a demon seed that was going to grow a new demon inside of her. Due to her possession, Kory spent weeks in a mental institutition, trying to overcome the entity inside her (with Dick sitting by her side and holding her hand through all of it, just FYI). When she finally did purge the entity from her, Kory took off and ended up in a village in the Amazon, with the ordeal having given her amnesia. Dick went after her, but he’d only just tracked her down when she took off again to foil an alien invasion using radio waves that she was uniquely suited to recognize due to being familiar with their tactics, but which pitted her against most of the rest of the world in like, the Ultimate Gaslighting Showdown as everyone kept telling her she was crazy (she was wearing a tinfoil hat to protect herself from the transmissions, the writers were deliberately not doing her any favors).

Only after that was foiled did she regain her memories, and while off the page she agreed to meet with Dick to talk about their failed wedding and everything that happened afterward, as he’d returned from the Amazon by now, where he’d ultimately come to his own self-realizations about everything (or what we were told to accept were his realizations)....in the end she took off for Tamaran without meeting him, leaving him waiting where they’d agreed to rendezvous. Again, I say this not to vilify Kory, because I absolutely think she made the best choice for herself at the time, and should have, and I don’t think Dick has ever blamed her for that and tbh they both separately came to the same decisions about needing to be apart to recollect themselves and figure out who they were and where to go from here, like, without having to actually talk it out to arrive at the same point. I DO raise this point simply to put out there that in contrast to many other things I’ve seen said about the break up......they....never technically broke up?

Like I mean, don’t get me wrong. They DID. They both considered themselves broken up and eventually moved on with other people, Dick with Babs, and Kory with a general who she married back on New Tamaran before it was destroyed by the Sun Eater (again, Kory went through some SHIT after their break up. Dick wasn’t the only one.) But I just mean like.....it was LITERALLY the most mutual break-up that is possible for a break-up to be, because neither one of them ever actually communicated their intent to the other in order for them to both CLEARLY be on the same page. There was no “Dick called off the wedding” - that never actually happened, it was just....never revisited. There was no “Dick told her he no longer had feelings for her” - that was something that happened later, and yes, I’ll get to that too. OMG shut up me. But also shh I’m talking.

But yeah like.....their break-up, despite being almost universally claimed as Dick’s choice and responsibility, with zero mention of Mirage’s role in it in any official accounting of it I’VE ever seen, and with Kory painted as being the victim of Dick’s wandering ways and not knowing what he wanted in the distant aftermath of their break-up, as it was said that due to being Tamaranean, she loved for life and thus would always be in love with Dick even though he after her return claimed he no longer loved her (like, I don’t blame Kory but I also don’t like takes that act like Dick DID all this to Kory somehow. Like that’s literally the entire point here, neither of them needs to be to blame or each other’s victim according to how the story ACTUALLY went).....

But yeah, despite all that.....it really was the most mutually arrived at decision ever, because neither one of them actually EVER EVEN SAID ‘WE NEED TO BREAK UP’ to the other. They both just....ended up there on their own.

(And also because DC wanted them there in order to secure the rest of their push to put Nightwing solely back in the Batbooks for the next several years. With, don’t forget, this all coinciding with the government forcing him out of the Titans and putting Roy in charge and with this all culminating in Dick having his initial adventure in Bludhaven at Bruce’s ask, and then deciding to make that his new base of operations and kinda reinvent himself there, at the start of his solo title. Again, shout out to the myth of “Dick Grayson always runs from things because commitment issues” - not only did he NOT flee to Bludhaven because he just changed his mind about the wedding and said whoops sorry Kory, it wasn’t even his CHOICE to leave the Titans, even if eventually he agreed it was for the best right now. His ex went back to her home planet and he was asked to leave his team. Why the fuck WOULDN’T he go somewhere else?)

NEXT. (jfc he mumbled to himself under his breath. what the fuck did I start here).

Circling back around AGAIN, this time back to Dick’s STATED reasons for deciding things were over.

Two...umm, fuck it, ‘a number that is more than one’ things that need to be kept in mind HERE:

1) The most crucial bit of context when examining Dick’s journey of self-exploration in the Amazon while searching for Kory and what he comes to say and think about everything that’s happened and his own behavior....

Is that he is an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator at this point in time. Y’know how we talk about Dick having that tendency to take on more accountability than is actually earned and is way quicker to view himself as in need of apologizing than he is to view others needing to do that for him?

Yeah I mean, that’s a thing, I definitely have like a billion citations ready to go on a moment’s notice, but point is, being aware of that tendency means absolutely nothing if you don’t actively APPLY that awareness to Dick’s periods of self-reflection and like....compare and contrast what he THINKS about things he’s said or done with like....what he’s ACTUALLY said or done.

For instance, on the way to his so-called epiphanies about all this, he makes the claim that the entire time Kory was dealing with the demon entity inside of her, he was being so selfish because all he was doing was wishing she would wake up or be free of it so that she could help him with his problems instead. (And just for the record, I can provide actual panels for everything I reference in this post, I’m just limiting myself to a couple because I’m just trying to NOT beat War and Peace’s pagecount as it is. Will I succeed? No. Did I try? Yes.)

Now, Dick spending his time at his possessed fianceé’s side doing nothing but wishing she would snap out of it and focus on his problems instead.....is that selfish of him?

Well, yeah.

But is it TRUE?

I mean, you tell me:

This is right smack dab in the middle of that whole storyline, set only a few issues after the crashed wedding, and before Kory successfully evicts the demon entity and loses her memories. This is literally what Dick was ACTUALLY like the entire time. At the TIME, every single thing he said and did was focused on her.....the CLOSEST he came even in his internal monologue, to making it all about him, was him thinking about how this has shown him just how much he needs her.

Do people helping a loved one through something traumatic occasionally have selfish thoughts where their awareness of their own troubles momentarily supersedes their focus on their loved one? Yeah. Does this actually make them selfish if their ACTUAL focus and actions and words are aimed entirely at their loved ones the whole time, with no single actual detour to “hey, while you’re up, can we talk about me for a sec”?

Mmmmm....I feel like no, but I am open to you drawing other conclusions as long as you are aware that they are wrong and mine is right, kay. I mean okay, fine. You can disagree with me here but I’m still gonna disagree about your disagreement there and its just gonna be this whole big thing and its like, ugh, whatever, y’know?

But hey, you do you.

ANYWAY, point is, unless you draw the wrong conclusion here in which case PTTTHB!, like, I think its safe to say Dick thinking in the midst of his self-awareness deep dive that he was being nothing but selfish during that whole story and thus didn’t deserve Kory, like....whether or not the writers are actually AWARE of it or not, I mean......that’s still a pretty good context clue that his internal monologues at this point in time are maybe a little bit skewed towards being more about accepting blame than reflecting reality, right? Yes, no, maybe so?

Well then again, if you agree with me, then add to that awareness the added bit of trivia that every single other one of Dick’s ‘ultimate realizations’ (he just wanted to get married because he thought it would bring stability to his life, it would help him grow up, hit one of those aforementioned milestones, etc)....like every single one of them.....was an opinion that was FIRST offered by one of the other Titans.

Every. Single. One.

(Wanted to get married for the stability was something Donna said she thought was his reasoning, to the other original Titans. The bit about thinking it would help him grow up was unfortunately ALSO Donna, but said to Kory before the wedding when Kory asked if she thought this was a mistake and if she thought Dick had proposed for the right reasons. The milestones thing was said by either Roy, Garth or Wally, I honestly forget which, but it was when the three of them went out to discuss the pending government takeover of the team and how to break this to Dick with everything else going on).

And with not a SINGLE one of these opinions present in ANY of Dick’s internal monologues BEFORE the proposal, hinting that they were anywhere near being on his radar at THAT point.

So....which makes more narrative sense? That Dick ultimately just realized that everything he THOUGHT was motivating him when he proposed was NOT true and that it was only his friends that clued into his actual reasons, which he must have overheard at some point and internalized in order to have replicated said opinions in his thoughts so exactly? Again with ZERO mention alongside any of this, that peoples’ views of what happened with Mirage was at ALL a factor in his thinking?

Or.....does it maybe better track, that over the course of Dick repeatedly expressing that he didn’t know it wasn’t Kory, that he never wanted to cheat on her, that he loved her and only her and would never knowingly do that....with NO ONE budging and everyone from Kory to all of his best friends acting like his adulterous guilt was an over and done with conclusion and they’d already long since moved on to the point of how willing or not they were to forgive him, based on everything else he’d been going through.....and with Dick thinking that how remorseful he appeared to be and how willing to ACCEPT accountability was likely to play a part in how much people were willing to look past all his recent fuck-ups here.......

Does it maaaaaaaybe actually make a little bit more sense that Dick’s total 180 into taking full responsibility and coming up with all these rationalizations for his actions that essentially just mimic theories everyone else had for his behavior has more to do with his deeply internalized acceptance that nobody was listening to his side of the story or what he was actually trying to say (without even real SELF awareness at the time that what he was feeling wasn’t just ‘I’m innocent of what you’re accusing me of’ but ‘I was violated and used’)?

That it was more about him finding ways to justify to himself getting on the same page everyone else ALREADY seemed to be on in regards to him and his recent behavior, as that seemed to be the only way to move forward, that he was tired of fighting everybody and feeling like he was in the wrong for it so honestly, maybe they were right?

Because from there.....

Its only a veeeeeery short hop, skip and a jump from “well I guess I DID do what they say and I SHOULD have known it wasn’t Kory”.....to.....”since the only thing I kept clinging to for how I couldn’t know was my insistence that I truly loved Kory, and it turns out that I still SHOULD have known anyway......doesn’t that mean that I didn’t really love Kory the way I thought I did? Or as much as I thought I did?”

“Did I never really love Kory as much as she deserved?”

Cuz uh, remember earlier when I talked about it being significant that Dick never ACTUALLY claimed during this time that he didn’t love Kory anymore or fell out of love with her or anything like that, but rather that his precise claim was “I didn’t love her AS MUCH AS SHE DESERVED”?

Aka.....”enough that I would have known it wasn’t actually Kory that I was with?”

Yeah. Uh, that. That’s the significance there. Yeah. So....

2) Now as to something else to keep in mind in regards to Dick’s eventual ‘self-realizations’ - this calls back to when I said earlier that Dick WAS acting erratically during this time, stemming all the way back to the Titans Hunt aftermath. He was overly aggressive, he was ready to fight anyone at a moment’s notice, he was tunnel-visioned.....in short, he was actually quite a lot how the fanon interpretations of his temper I rage about usually depict him. But the key thing here, and the reason why I wouldn’t have a problem with people drawing references from THIS time when talking about him behaving this way.....

Is that much like when Dick was behaving erratically during the Brother Blood storyline, it was with NARRATIVE INTENT.

There, Dick’s behavior led to the reveal that he was lashing out because he was fighting the Church of Blood’s mental conditioning. Here, Dick’s behavior is directly tied to his downward spiral resulting from the trauma of Titans Hunt and his guilt from that.

In both cases, I’d have zero issue with people referencing specific instances of this behavior....

As long as they ALSO reference and acknowledge the specific narrative context that was directly CONNECTED to that behavior. Its not about whether or not it excuses any specific thing he does, its about the fact that while these behaviors did happen, they shouldn’t be depicted as indicative of his OVERALL characterization, because they were specifically and deliberately written into his actions WITH INTENT by the writers, who were trying to use his DELIBERATELY out of the ordinary behavior to arrive at some narrative point or conclusion.

And here, for Dick, that was the eventual realization that he’d never fully dealt with his feelings about the losses during the Titans Hunt.

I don’t like how he acts in a lot of the issues around this time. Its ugly. But its MEANT to be ugly. I don’t like Dick’s fight with Roy when he tells him about taking over leadership because of the government’s interference. I don’t like it AT ALL.

But what I DO like is how the very next page after the fight, after Donna follows Dick out of the room, Dick turns around and acknowledges how out of control he’d just been and said he felt it proved that everyone was right, things HAD gotten to him more than he’d realized or admitted to himself, and it probably was a sign he needed to take a step back, and besides, Kory needed him more than the team did right now anyway.

THAT’S one of the core things I like about Dick Grayson, that almost without exception, his worst actions or behaviors are almost immediately followed by his realization of this and a tangible action or change in his actions to address it. That’s not something every character can claim - in fact, its unfortunately pretty damn rare.

But here’s the problem with that, in this specific scenario:

Dick WAS spiraling, he DID act out in ways he was right to be called out on and to feel guilt about, and there WAS basis for him acknowledging that there was stuff he needed to address in his life and his head, and to take responsibility for.

Thing is though, nobody else at any point ever stood up to point to where in his willingness to hold himself accountable for his mistakes and try and do better in regards to his friends and teammates and overall relationships....

He additionally took on guilt that WASN’T deserved. Because the other Titans were the ones who in their overall rush to judgment about his behavior and the reasons why.....still erroneously lumped in with the rest, their conclusion as to how the situation with Mirage should be viewed.

And frankly, though this doesn’t make them look good, there’s plenty of places you can go with that which don’t make them heartless monsters either. They were wrong, not to listen to him about Mirage, and I maintain that this tangibly WORSENED his already existing downward spiral from Titans Hunt, because that was already stuff he really could have benefited from support for the others from....and then this other thing happened that he additionally really needed support about, rather than blame.

Problem is, the overall impression given off by the other Titans was that they thought they already WERE doing their best to be supportive, by being so willing to look PAST ‘what Dick had done with Mirage’ and FORGIVE Dick for that, make allowances for why it and other decisions they didn’t agree with, like his rush to marriage, might make sense based on what they were attributing as the reason for his out of character behavior....the fallout from Titans Hunt...but ONLY that.

Like to be clear, I’m aware that there is a flip side of things in fanon, where some stans overcorrect on Dick’s behalf and act like the Titans all universally slut-shamed Dick and were terrible to him. No. That’s not what happened either. There was ONE slut-shaming Titan and ONLY one....and that was Pantha, who to be frank, like.....she was literally written to be the button pusher in regards to everyone. She likely would have said the same thing no matter who was in that situation, because she honestly didn’t care, she was just interested in making the cheap jokes at their expense.

The other Titans though did not adopt a slut-shaming stance against Dick...just a victim-blaming one. Which makes some things better, but some things worse IMO.

Its easier to understand how they could have all fallen into this trap despite all being seasoned heroes who should have known better than to view these specific events the way they did....if you consider that their fatal flaw here was ironically that they were SO quick to try and find a reason that Dick might have done this that they felt they could forgive....that they never actually thought things through long enough to recognize how quick on the draw they’d been in their reactions. And then they failed to listen to Dick’s side of things because they’d kinda convinced themselves that they were ALREADY doing him a favor and hearing him out by having decided to look past what he’d done and make allowances for it....and so they kinda filtered everything he was saying through a lens of like...waiting for him to catch up to what they’d already decided had happened and onto the part where he did the Dick Grayson thing and apologized and accepted responsibility for it....at which point they, as his friends, would be honestly able to say “already forgiven, dude.”

You could additionally factor in the idea that their very respect for his capabilities and high opinion of his overall ‘on the ball-ness’ made what had happened easy to view as something that’d just slipped past his radar, a rare oversight that again, he could be forgiven for, rather than what it was....again, something that he should never have been expected to ‘catch’ in the first place, any more than they would have been.

Either way, the real problem was always just that they failed to support him in the ways he actually needed, because they were already busy forgiving him for things he didn’t actually need forgiveness for because they were never his to accept blame for in the first place. But then BECAUSE Dick was already primed to accept the blame for what he WAS right to accept responsibility for, he overextended and took on everything that was held against him, rather than first differentiating between where a mea culpa both was and WAS NOT due.

No matter how you slice it, the Titans WERE wrong on this front, and Dick absolutely DOES have canon grounds to nurse some bitterness and resentment about, towards them. Again, with a lot of ways that can be approached. Personally, when I think about fics tackling this subject, my big want is always gonna be like.....confrontation fics? Like that’s what I’ve always really wanted to see here....like there’s a lot of obviously valid catharsis to be had in fics that have someone walk Dick through what a more objective view of what happened back then and let him finally unburden himself of all that unearned guilt there...BUT all the focus there is typically on that realization of the truth for DICK, that like....there’s almost never any follow-up where that realization is further pursued and extended to the relevant Titans? And tbh, I’ve always viewed that as the far greater ‘crime’ this story executed in regards to Dick’s character....not an overall obliviousness to his own victimization, period, but the fact that he was basically pushed into ACCEPTING a culpable view of events when actually, he’d always KNOWN on some level that it wasn’t really his fault and he had every reason to feel repulsed and angry and violated.

Like, I do obviously view Dick as someone with a large degree of self-awareness, in no small part due to how often he DOES do these introspective deep dives and reflect on events and actions and behaviors, and even though I understand the viewpoint that things look different when applied to yourself than to others, I do think its perfectly likely that Dick would at some point come to his own realization about what had actually happened with Mirage and why he’d initially felt the way he did about it. Maybe not before the events with Tarantula, but in the aftermath? I think he absolutely would connect certain things then, even if just because of how FAMILIAR everything felt to that earlier time post-Titans Hunt. The Blockbuster arc was like, the most rock bottom Dick had ever been SINCE that point, and various similarities could have definitely been pinging all over for him....the losses he suffered reminding him of his guilt for the fallen Titans, the end of Dick and Babs’ relationship, while based on more reasons than just Tarantula kissing Dick, like, still including that as a reason and so thus bearing an uncomfortable similarity to the last time he was held accountable for his rapist and now eventual rapist’s actions, etc.

And I do think that Dick having some realizations of his own post-Blockbuster could explain a LOT about his later interactions with the Titans, who I honestly don’t think he was ever quite as close to again?

Which makes a ton of sense if you view the 1999 series, and how difficult it was for them to get Dick to join up, and how he was plenty ready to leave at any point...like, that makes a TON of sense if you consider that Dick might have at this point been quietly nursing hurt of his own that everyone was so eager and willing to let bygones be bygones and ‘forgive’ his mistakes of the past, that nobody still had ever realized what he’d had to realize all on his own....that THEY all had a perception of events and like, their friendships, that included forgiving Dick for a betrayal that Dick NEVER ACTUALLY ENACTED. Where its like, thanks, but I didn’t actually need that, what I needed was someone to listen to me. But at the same time its totally understandable why he wouldn’t ever want to bring that up himself....because he’d already TRIED expressing himself on this matter years before, and been shot down, and its totally reasonable that he worried history would just repeat there rather than bring him the closure he WANTED on that front. But again....the distance he keeps a lot of the Titans at after his return to the team pairs pretty damn well with him being both quietly resentful of forgiveness he never needed and wondering when it was everyone else’s turn to accept the accountability for wrongs done that everyone was always so quick to demand from him....as well as why the last thing in the world he’d want to do is bring this all up again himself.

Similarly, this is why I think he always expressed to Kory, ever since her return to Earth, that he wasn’t in love with her anymore.....I don’t think its necessarily true that his feelings ever fully went away, and I also don’t think he’d bear the same resentments towards her that he did the others, even though Kory too ‘forgave’ him for something he never needed absolution for. Because I think at the same time, he’s more aware than most of Kory’s own history, and he has too much empathy for what all that likely stirred up for her at the time as well as his awareness that she really did love him and always had and that she’d mourned their relationship just as much as he had.

So I truly don’t think Dick blames her, in ways that can’t be said of the others, and I don’t think it was truly that he didn’t love her anymore, or that there was no longer anything there....I think he always just said that in order to protect himself, because he was still hurting from everything that had happened back then and how everyone had always painted it as his fault ever since, and his own traumas had only compounded those very specific feelings with later events like Tarantula and her impact on his life, and its just like......I think if it ever came out via someone else re-raising the issue, Dick would be like okay, yes, absolutely let’s finally talk about this....but I totally understand why Dick would never want to re-raise it himself because....he definitely did TRY to express his violation way back when. Why should he be the one to have to essentially.....retry his own case with his friends in order to finally get the verdict he should have had all along, y’know?

Its one thing to get that its probably never going to happen without initiating it himself, but its another thing for that to get you past the hump of just not wanting to relive some of your worst moments when your best friends not believing in you or being so willing to believe something about you in some ways did just as much damage to you as the actual initial violation.

But again, all that said, I would absolutely like, rob the Louvre (Okay I’d also rob the Louvre just for money but like. You get it) for stories where one of the Titans has an ‘oh shit’ realization about everything with Mirage years later. And they tentatively try and bring it up with Dick in the hopes of ‘fixing things’ by correcting the damage they’d done when making him feel it was his to accept blame on.....and for Dick to just be like. “Yeah, uh, I was there. I figured all that out a long time ago, I just didn’t see the point in trying to convince everybody twice.” And them like....being like oh crap we have to figure out a way to make things right, like all this time we’ve thought things were kinda broken between us because of what Dick did but actually it was the other way around and about Dick’s feelings about what WE did.

Okay now like....don’t laugh but I’m literally still not done, because I had this whole other thing about how now we needed to finally talk about the Zitka in the room, which is that IMO its always been kinda backwards to view Tarantula as the focal point of Dick’s traumas here and what happened with Mirage as some kind of footnote kinda....personally I think it should be the other way around. That its Mirage that weighs on Dick the most because what she did was premeditated where with Catalina it was a crime of opportunity. With Miriam though, it was always going to happen no matter what, because it only happened because she MADE it happen. She like....stalked Dick pretty much from the time of her arrival in this timeline (or at least how that initially was viewed - the timeline thing, not the stalking thing. Forget it. Weird story is weird. Doesn’t matter). But like....Mirage went after Dick with intent. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she was willing to do whatever to make it happen, up to and including kidnapping Dick’s actual girlfriend and taking her place.

With Tarantula, like, she was more than quick to seize on the first opportunity to make it happen, but like...that’s still a different thing IMO from like...KNOWING that someone literally plotted out and premeditated one of the most disruptive traumas of your life without any care for what it would DO to your life, and you later carrying all the blame for that in everyone else’s eyes without anyone ever acknowledging what it did to YOU....even though MULTIPLE people know and its even affected your overall reputation. With Tarantula....I think that trauma absolutely compounded everything else that happened with Blockbuster but it was hardly limited to just that, but again with Mirage....that one specific act pretty much derailed the entire course of Dick’s life at the time. Because again....while you could absolutely claim that there are other issues Dick and Kory might have broken up because of later, even without Mirage’s actions, like....you have to MAKE the case for those reasons. You can’t just attribute their breakup to rushing into marriage, when again....Mirage was the literal catalyst for Dick proposing when he did.

Which again, to bring it all back to the start.....that’s why it will forever make me channel Gar Logan and turn into a green-hued screeching howler monkey every time people are like I absolutely agree that its not okay to blame Dick for his own rape at Mirage’s hands....but then turn around and be like okay, but Dick and Kory did break up because Dick rushed them into marriage before they were ready.

Cuz.

Like.

THEY’RE THE EXACT SAME THING!

The one is just the other but described from a different vantage point.

faslkfhaklfhaklfhkalfha

I get if people didn’t know that before now, but please please please can we like....push back against the misinformation on this particular topic because omggggg is it unpleasant to repeatedly hear people contradict themselves in the same paragraphs half the time because they literally don’t know that they’re talking about the same events in both cases.

Believe it or not, I actually had a lot more about Mirage and about other ways things could have gone differently for Dick and Kory if he’d had even just a little more support from someone else at the time, whether from Bruce or even just one of the Titans, like all it would have taken was just ONE person to try and view things from Dick’s perspective and be like okay everyone hold up, some bad fucking conclusions have been arrived at here.

BUT I am tired and this is long and literally just...whatever. I’ll do that some other time. LOL. And I bounce.

#first person to try and tell me the wordcount of this is getting blocked I swear to fucking god

323 notes · View notes

curiousfindings · 3 years

Text

We are with you till the end of the line

Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan x Teen!Reader

[Warnings: Rape, Talk of sex, Swearing, OOC Chris for a bit, Arguing, Panic attacks, Hospitals]

!!This is pretty loaded so please don't read this if your not comfortable with the certain subjects, the last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable, if you need anyone to reach out to just pop me a quick message, I would never mind having a chat or you just ranting to me, i’m always there for u!!

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You knew they wouldn't mind, they were like brothers after all, constantly looking out for you even in the most inconvenient of times. Yet the one time, they weren't there. Its not like you needed them, but you did and you always tried to convince yourself that you were a strong female figure but there was that part of you that turned completely towards the strong male figures you had in your life. Chris, Anthony and Sebastian.

Too elaborate, you first met the triplet when you were 15, you had auditioned for the role of the teenage heroine, Erin Kelsey, a young girl who proves her courage to The Avengers with her virtuosic karate skills. They loved you and you got the part much to your dismay. You were taken under the wing of Anthony Mackie straight away, he told you that he saw something in you. Scarlett was the first cast member you met though and she will always hold a special place in your heart as the girl who made you comfortable with the whole marvel cast.

Your character was introduced in Age of Ultron as a teenage Slovakian girl who had been spotted jumping from rooftop to rooftop, it was incredibly fun to film. Then in Civil War, your character developed massively which brought you closer to the men. Not only were they like big brothers to you but they gave you the best advice in life, anything you needed help with, they were there, 24/7. You had many talks and lectures about things you already knew about but they insisted they were older and knew what was best, they also said that they didnt want you doing stupid things like they used to do, whatever that is supposed to mean.

They check up on you constantly, always asking you to message them when you get home, or back to your trailer, or the hair and makeup truck, the canteen, the toilet, anywhere they needed to know. It was their responsibility if anything happened to you, of course it wasn't actually but they made it so it was that way, knowing that you were young and needed that guidance. This was because when you started filming Civil War you were deemed old enough to do it all on your own, you were fending for yourself since you were turning 17 soon.

You attended a college near by and went there twice a week, the rest of the time you did online school in-between takes and in breaks. Your time in college introduced you to a person, I know, cliche but they were really nice. Long story short, you two started dating, their name was Alex. Your grades dropped and you stopped seeing the three men due to the amount of time you were spending with Alex but spending time with Alex was like second nature but not to your will, they told you that you had to see them everyday and call them whenever you got the chance, this was controlling if you had ever seen it.

You had plenty of time to tell them about Chris, Sebastian and Anthony and soon they had enough of you talking so highly about them and got jealous, this is when they started making advances on you, also against your will. They would start to touch you and when you would say no they would continue, you threatened to leave them but they made even bigger threats, to tell Chris, Seb and Mackie that you didn’t need them anymore, they went into detail about what they would tell them, it was graphic, things that you were doing whilst you were supposed to be hanging out with them, sexual acts...

They of course, didn't know about your partner and this was for a reason, you know they would be against the idea and you defiantly couldn't risk anything but they were adamant of working out why you were so absent.

“Can we all agree that Y/n has been distant lately?” Sebastian spoke after walking into the hair and makeup trailer to find Anthony and Chris being dolled up.

Anthony sighed, straight away knowing what he meant.

“I know man, its like she doesn't love us anymore,” He fake pouted which made Chris laugh. “Seriously though, do you know where she’s been?”

Both men stayed quiet.

“Every time I ask her where she is going she just says ‘out’” Sebastian adds with a shrug.

“And she never messages us updates anymore, it worries me frankly,” Chris frowns at the thought.

“She told me she went to the park to do some homework without distractions and came back with a new hoodie and a massive smile on her face” Anthony furrows his brows. “Like, how does that make sense? Why would you be that happy after doing homework?” He flared his harms around and huffs.

“But around us her mood has changed, have you noticed she's been so distant and cold to us?” Sebastian added.

The silence is broken by the makeup lady sniggering which immediately turned all other heads in the room.

“Whatchu laughing at lady?” Anthonys face was pure confusion, how could this matter be funny and as for Chris and Sebastian, their faces were a mix between caution and anger.

“Sounds like Y/n might have a boyfriend or girlfriend,” She stated plainly, not even looking up from Sebastians roots.

A short impetuous laugh came from Anthony’s throat in disbelief.

“Isn't it obvious? She wants to hide it from you guys” All men froze at this statement with heads overflowing with thoughts that questioned the lady. Why would she feel she had to hide it from us? Why wouldn't she tell us? Why does she have to hide it from us? That last question threw the men into gear.

“We need to ask her,” Chris finally spoke up. “If this is true, we need to see whats happening,” Chris was worried, he had a bad feeling. He stood up and left the makeup chair abruptly. All you could hear were the sound of rushed movements onto of the stoned floor outside getting quieter and quieter.

“I don’t meant to worry you guys,” The lady spoke up, now not touching Sebastian.

“No, i’m glad you said something, it makes sense now really,” Anthony said apathetically, the feeling of worry bites at his toes, he wanted to run to you.

Chris got to you first, bursting the door of your trailer open in a panting mess in full Cap uniform.

“Woah okay, erm, can I call you back later I think somethings wrong,” You say down the phone as you stand up to approach Chris.

“I will call you back later, I promise,” You console your adamant person and bid your goodbyes.

As soon as the call ends Chris is jumping down your throat, leaving you no room to question.

“Who was that?” He stares at you intently, still trying to catch his breath.

“Just a friend, it was Katie,” You can change your answer, hoping this one would be more convincing. “Why whats wrong?” Chris’s features changed, he placed his hand on his hip and cocked his eyebrows as if to question your answer.

“What?” You ask him, confusion fully lacing your voice.

“Y/n, I really hope you aren't lying to me,” His voice now evident with slight anger and dominance.

“Chris, what are you getting at,” You retaliate, who is he to question who you were on the phone too, you couldn't tell him anyway.

“Let me see your phone.” No question about it, he held his hand out and demanded. “Give me your phone Y/n” To say you were shocked was an understatement. Your face swelled with worry, worry that he might find out but you decided to mask it with anger.

“Chris, what the fuck?” You narrowed your eyebrows and Chris just raised his as if you were his child that was in trouble.

“I want to see who you last called,” His hand never once moved, you on the other hand were shaking, you had never seen Chris like this, never angry nor disappointed. Its not even like you could say it was a boy friend back home because you had already told Chris it was Katie.

“Its really none of your business who i’ve been calling,” Your mood had changed significantly since the phone call.

Chris’s eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared, he was angry. “Your lying.” He plainly stated.

“And your being irate, you obviously don’t trust me!” You flared your arms around in expression, trying to cover up anything and everything which made you angrier and angrier.

“Im only looking out for you, you know this but I cant do that if you dont tell me the truth, your only-”

“Yes, I know, im only 16 and dont know half of whats to come yet, I know im young Chris, you tell me all the time but just because im young doesn't mean I dont get my freedom and just because im young defiantly doesn't mean you get to boss me around because guess what Chris, your not my dad!” You knew it hurt him, due to an absent father you had told the men that they were like father figures to you and they took pride in that. He was taken aback by your sudden outburst and wondered how long you had been holding that in but he couldn't help what came out of his mouth next.

“Don’t ever come to me for anything again because I won't be there to help you,” This was so out of character for Chris it knocked the wind out of you, you felt like you could be sick. Tears welled in your eyes, you grabbed your keys and sprinted out of your trailer before he could see you break.

“Y/n!” Called a familiar voice, it was Anthony.

You stopped in your tracks and wiped your eyes before turning where you were confronted with two worried faces, not them as well.

“Did Chris speak to you?” Your heart sunk, did they think the same thing, you wanted to save yourself the embarrassment.

“Im going out,” You said plainly, holding back more tears.

“No you're not, we need to speak to you,” Anthony demanded again. You snapped before you could even think.

“You don’t control me! Not you! Not Sebastian and defiantly not Chris! I dont need you!” You let the tears fall, you felt like you were being dramatic but frankly you were sick of their controlling behaviour and Chris made it perfectly clear how he felt. Sadly you didnt actually feel this way, it was just what Alex had planted in your head and you couldn't risk him getting exposed otherwise you would be fucked.

“Y/n what happened?” Sebastian inched closer as you broke down.

“Y/n!” Chris called from the distance and before you could muster any sort of courage to be confronted by all three me, you ran.

“Im going out!” That dull phrase that fell from your lips every day with so much mystery behind it.

“Will you stop talking about them fucking men,” Alex seethes after just 5 minutes of you ranting, you're in an angry mood already so you snap at them.

“Alex i’m really fucking struggling right not and I would love some comfort from my significant other!” And before you know it your pinned underneath them.

“I think you forgot who you're talking to,” Alex hovered over you with your arms pinned above your head, you thrashed but they were stronger.

“Remember our little agreement sweetheart,” The pet name made your eyes clench shut and your body tense up, the dreaded nickname that was supposed to make you feel loved but made you feel on edge more than anything.

Then Alex done the unspeakable, something you thought was an empty threat, you never thought they would go there.

“You dare protest and see what happens,” Alex spat in your face as they violated all of your comfort zones and boundaries. They left you speechless, ashamed, and defiled.

You got in your car and drove, you didn’t know where, you couldn’t think straight. It was defiantly dangerous for you to drive but there was no way you were staying with them. The wheels took you back to set and your heart ached for your three men, you knew they wouldn't mind yet you couldn't bring yourself to tell them nor did you think they would care to know, they made it that clear. You ran to your trailer and jumped in the shower straight away, washing any evidence and remaining touches off your body, you looked down and discovered the marks of the abuser littered all over your shoulders, thumb marks shared along your pelvis and in between your thighs. You scrubbed and scrubbed but they wouldn't go away, only leaving a singing red hue on the surface, the rest were deeper, they penetrated your soul, no amount of scrubbing could remove those. Little did you know, Chris saw you running back to your trailer late last night but he left you alone, thinking you needed some time.

The next morning you felt the reminace of the abuse, you were supposed to be well rested since your day off yesterday yet you felt worse the you ever had but you wore a brave face and worried about the interactions between you and Chris, Seb and Anthony. Weak is how you felt, not knowing how the day would treat you.

You stepped out of your trailer with a grimace and a sharp ache in-between your legs. Normally Chris, Anthony and sometimes Sebastian would usher you from your trailer to set, you felt truly and utterly alone.

“Morning Y/n,” You took a sharp turn to see Scarlett heading straight in your direction. “No Chris this morning?” She asked with a frown.

You didn’t know how to speak, you didn't know if you could, your mind still swarming with, well, everything.

She hugged you quite roughly and you yelped out in pain with the sudden movement and pressure, she backed away immediately.

“Hey.. whats wrong kiddo?” She asked, worry evident on her face.

Quick Y/n, come up with something.

“Just my period, its quite painful today,” You covered that up quick and it was believable, you were surprised how you hadn't burst into tears yet, you didn't know how you were going to survive the whole day.

“I have some pain killers?” She offered with a sympathetic smile.

All you did was nod.

You walked to set with a slight limp and that didn't go unnoticed by the directors.

“You good Y/n?” Joe asked.

Scarlett just whispered in his ear and you already knew what she had said.

“We will go easy on you today.” He joked with a wink, normally you would find his teasing funny but all you felt was this pit of dread.

You trekked to wardrobe to get into your costume of the day; still with no sight of Anthony, Chris or Sebastian, you knew they were filming today because it was a fight scene... a fight scene which you had to do with Anthony... Luckily your costume covered all of your bruises, the only thing now was getting them past the wardrobe lady.

“Get naked my lovely,” The wardrobe lady joked. Yet again, no expression from you. “Are you okay?” She edged closer.

“Yes, i’m fine thank you,” You sent her a small smile.

“Come on then, we need to get you dressed” You just stripped your top, not even caring if she saw, you would only explain if she asked. All there was, was a gasp from her side. “Lovely...”

“I was with my partner yesterday, thats all,” You added as she helped you adjust your new layer of skin. “Please don’t tell anyone, I don’t need them teasing me about it,” You said with a small chuckle, it was getting easier.

You had greeted Anthony, Seb and Chris when you saw them, they said sorry and you said sorry back, the last thing you wanted to do was argue today. They had to go and get their hair and makeup done since they were a little late onto set.

Sebastian and Anthony were in the wardrobe truck while Chris got his hair done.

“She still seems different, I cant place my finger on it,” Anthony queried.

“Well I believe what Jo said in the makeup truck, I feel like she has a secret boyfriend,” Seb spoke back.

“Im just worried Seabass... she’s never been like this,” Before Sebastian could answer, the costume lady did.

“Are we talking about Y/n boys?” She questioned.

“Yes, do you know something?” Anthony was begging for any information he could get his hands on.

“She told me not to say anything but when she took her shirt off she had marks all over her shoulders, told me she was with a partner,” Anthony sighed and there his head back.

“See, this is what I didn't want happening, its fine that she’s having sex but I just hope its safe,” Anthony was just disappointed that you wouldn't tell him something like this, he thought you trusted him.

“I don't mean to worry you...” That same phrase. “But those marks weren't love bites, they were proper bruises,”

Sebastian and Anthony share a look of worry.

“I mean, I've had my far share of sexual partners and the only way those bruises could be that dark was if her partner was being rough, they had to be pretty recent as well.” She said nonchalantly.

There were two thoughts swimming through Anthony and Sebastian heads. Someone was being abusive or you liked rough sex and to be honest, they would have preferred the latter.

The actually acting part was going well - I mean, you got paid to do it- but when the the stunts started, thats the you felt the full effects. Your character was a master at karate so the moves were pretty intense, you hadn't warmed up either with the worry that it was going to hurt to much. You were right, it hurt tenfold when you started fighting with Anthony, you could deal with the pain but when you got thrown over Anthonys shoulder, it was endgame. A shrill sounded from the back of your throat and Anthony dropped you immediately. You doubled over with the pain and grasped your lower stomach, you felt like you would be sick.

“Y/n what's wrong?” Anthony Russo questioned.

Scarlett came running over and knelt beside you.

“Oh sweetheart,” At the sound of the nickname you burst into tears. Everything was getting too overwhelming. A couple seconds past, you didn't know if anyone was saying anything, you couldn't focus on anything at the moment. “Y/n?” Scarlett questioned. At this point you had a whole crown surrounding you, you couldn't break down, not here, not now.

“Im fine, just woman issues,”You sniffled and pointed to your stomach and peoples faces dropped and a few laughs were shared.

“Ill go easy on you,” Anthony joked and you sniffed a bit so you could get ready for the fight scene again. He could tell something was wrong, he was going to confront you when this scene was over.

It all played out fine until Anthony had to use you as a suspension tool, he put his hands on your shoulders and put all his weight onto you. He dug his fingers right into the bruises on your shoulders.

“Fuck!” You screamed out in immense pain, a couple tears fell down your cheeks.

“Y/n whats going on?” Anthony Russo asked.

“I just need a quick break please.” You begged as more tears threatened to fall.

“20 minute break everyone!” The Russo brothers called.

“Y/n!” Mackie called but you were long gone, already half way to your trailer.

“We need to go talk to her,” Sebastian told Mackie, they both had the same idea as they sprinted after you.

When you got to your trailer, the tears didn't stop, you sank down next to the door and just sobbed, it was an ugly, loud, desperate cry and you wish all this internal and external pain would just vanish.

“Y/n!” Anthony burst through the doors, throwing all caution to the wind.

“No!!” You shouted out but it was too late, Anthony and Sebastian were standing in-front of you, in your trailer, eyes wide with worry.

“Y/n please,” Anthony kneeled next to you. You just buried your head in his neck and sobbed. “Shhh, shhh its okay,” He stroked the back of your hair as you uncontrollably relieved your heart. “Breath Y/n breath,” Sebastian got on his knees and stroked your arm. Your breathing now becoming erratic. “Y/n breath,” Anthony had a look of complete worry.

He grasped your upper arms and made you look at him. “Y/n you need to breath, focus on me okay?” You nodded as your chin trembled. He had never seen you like this before. “Breath in,” You tried. “Breath out,” You tried again. You continued that until your breathing was under control.

For a second Anthony just stared at you.

“What happened girl?” You just shook your head. To test the waters Anthony put his hand on your shoulder will little force and you shouted from the pain. “Please don’t.” You squeaked, your throat raw from crying. There was an unspoken agreement, Anthony grabbed the hem of your shirt and lifted it up. The look on their faces would be ingrained in your mind for a long time yet to come. Yet again you just burst out crying. Anthony waved his hands around and Sebastian was gone and Anthony was just cradling you, he was crying into your hair. “Why wouldn't you tell me,”

Thats the last thing you heard before sleep consumed you.

You woke up to a foreign view and a foreign smell. You knew where you were instantly. You sat up and winced, your pelvis ached each time your moved. The first thing you saw was Chris, sitting there with this hands covering his mouth like he was thinking, leg bouncing up and down and just starting at you with sorrowful eyes. As soon as you locked eyes with him, you broke down again, this time is was Chris’s turn to cradle you. “Shhhh, I promise its going to be okay,” He cooed. “Im so sorry,” was all you could coo back. “Don’t speak.” He said.

You and Chris stayed like that until Sebastian and Anthony showed up, you instantly felt safe, you missed how this felt.

“Im so sorry.” Was all you could say, your mind couldn't think of anything else for once, just how sorry you were. All three men had tears in their eyes. All three men were there to support you, they weren’t going to shout or be angry, they cared.

“We love you so much.” Anthony said with a hand on your knee.

It took you a good 30 minuted to muster up the courage to tell them what happened.

They all sat and listened contently about how you met Alex.

“Then stuff started getting serious, they would... touch me without my consent,” You said.

“Did you say no?” Chris asked.

You nodded. “They said they would tell you all bad things about me if I didn't comply,” You answered. The group sighed.

“Thats why you were so distant,” Seb said.

You nodded again. “They didn't want me to be close to you guys.”

Seb put his hand on your knee and rubbed.

“The yesterday, after we had the argument, I went to their house and thats when they fully, you know,” You couldn't hold back. You put your hands up to your face and sobbed again. “We know, we know, you dont have too say it,” Sebastian rubbed your back.

“Y/n” Chris said, you looked up at him. He was fully sobbing also. “I love you so much and I am so sorry for everything that I said, I didn't mean any of it I promise,” You nodded. “Neither did I, I love all you guys, im so fucking sorry,” You sobbed some more.

After you talked some more, the boys decided it would be the right idea to take you to the hospital, just incase.

“The X-Ray shows a broken collar bone,” The doctor admitted. All three men sighed and Anthony muttered a little ‘oh gosh’. “Im so sorry Y/n,” The doctor was extremely empathetic. “We will just have to put it in a sling for a week or two and no extra circular for at least three,”

“Three weeks!!” You exclaimed, “I cant not work for three weeks!! We have shooting.” You explained.

“Y/n, its fine,” Chris explained. “The Russo’s will understand.” You just leant your head back against the hospital bed. “Can we go now, hospitals make me uneasy.” The boys were slightly more happy that you were getting more verbal again.

“With your consent, we would like to do a rape kit, just to see if there is any damage internally.” You nodded your head slowly.

The exam was uncomfortable, your whole body was tense and rigid.

“Its okay darling, relax.” The lady was so lovely and she made you feel at ease for a bit but the impending thought was about what was happening to Alex.

“Okay its all done darling, would you like your guardians to come in whilst I tell you the results so they can hear it too?” You nodded.

The men got ushered in and they stood by your side, hands on your upper arms.

“So there wasn't any internal damage but there is alot of tissue and a bit of muscle damage and some dark bruising both on the pelvis and inner and outer thighs,” You nodded. “That will take some time to heal and might get a bit painful so we will give you some pain killers for that and some cream for the bruises,” She gave you a sweet smile.

“You did so well, “ Chris cooed as he stroked your hair. You nodded at him.

“Watch thinking about girl,” Anthony butted in.

You took a breath and spilled. “Its just Alex, whats going to happen to them,” You worried.

“They are going to get what they deserve, thats what.” Sebastian butted in.

You nodded and started to tear up.

“Y/n” Chris said and you looked up at him.

“We are with you till the end of the line.”

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#teen!reader x marvel cast #teen!reader x chris evans #teen!reader x sebastian stan #teen!reader x anthony mackie #chris evans x reader #sebastian stan x reader #anthony mackie x reader #marvel

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