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thebunniesgrim · 4 months

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I'm gonna talk about blizto again (its negative and my opinion)

In my last Blizto post (shameless plug. Also, I was kinda right about Fizz forgiving him. I'm a prophet ) I listed why I didn’t like blizto but now...

I feel no sympathy towards Blizto

nothing!

Is it just me?

Frankly I feel nothing towards him

(you know I visibly frown when he shows up screen sometimes and I have to like catch myself like hey he's the main character dumb dumb he’s going to be on screen lol)

Now this could because bilzto isn't my type of character you know? When I was younger, I always avoided mean characters or main characters I've always picked side characters or other side main Characters over the main important character for instance I never liked Steven from Steven Universe, but I liked Garnet and Peridot. I hated Twilight (mlp) as kid and don’t get younger me started when she became a princess, I was so unhappy. I wanted Rarity or Fluttershy to become a princess not her. I never cared for Bloom from Winx's club, but I did like Aisha and Stella.

And to be fair when I got past my hate boner, I grew to tolerate them, but I’ve never rolled my eyes as much as I do with blizto

And it’s not like I don’t like mean characters I'm a villain girly all the way I like Loona’s bully in Queen Bee Vicky.

I like striker, and I also think Stella is the tiniest bit funny (I don’t condone what she does obviously but like you know when she's on screen I'm not bored) when I was obsessed with Danganronpa I loved Byakuya, Nagito, and Kokichi I also liked Celestia, Mondo, Fuyuhiko, Hiyoko, yada yada. When I was over the moon about black butler I love Alois, Claude, William and so on. I love a good mean character

but that being said

I don’t care about him at all and I like Stolas (sometimes) I feel bad for him (sometimes) but anytime Blizto has his sad woe is me moments (I mean Stolas does this too and I have my grievance with him of course but like this isn't about him lol) like him crying on the couch at the end of Ozzie's, him crying on the couch at the end of Queen Bee, his trip in Truth Seekers, his mom dying, or his sister hating him. My face is bone dry but helluva has never made me cry so...

I also think that the reason I have a hard time sympathizing with him is because of how blizto (and stolas) never really have a moment where they’re forced to face the consequences of their actions every problem is solved, forgotten or put on the back burners to be solved through text.

No, I'm not letting that go screw you >:(

Stolas literally gets hospitalized and is fine an episode later yeah, no that’s fine. No need to look into that. No need to really sit and let that stew for minute. That’s not important or anything. No need to get Biltzo’s view on this or anything

It's like that "Sunny meets Twilight" video on YouTube

“Every villain converted, every problem friendshiped within a half hour. it got so peaceful we were literally making up fake friendship problems just to not go fucking insane”

Not to mention most of his sad feel bad for me moments are like his own fault. There's self-sabotage and then there's this:

like him being sad that Barbie doesn’t want him in her life and him being all ‘:(’ and I was like yeah, no shit idiot. She most likely has told him to leave her alone more than once, the rehab nurse said not look for her, didn’t tell you she left rehab, and she was hard to find online obviously she doesn’t want you in her life what’s not clicking smart guy?

No honestly what did he expect to happen? Her to just well up with tears and hug him? Not to mention she lost her job because of him granted she would have lost it regardless because her plug was a target by IMP but still. That also added salt to the wound.

Blitzo is like wow my feeling are hurt in ways I could have avoided how could this have happened?

His whole thing at Ozzie's. he could have just said nothing and let Moxxie get picked on. You know I don’t even know why he stood up for them in the first place. Is that not out of character or him? Like he will take almost any opportunity to shit on moxxie what changed now? and it isn't like a ‘only I can pick on him thing’ he lets Loona make fun of him, let striker, and Millies family pick on him I mean come on he even joins in. What changed that made him want to stick up for the M&Ms? Other than narrative push also he knows Versoiska and Fizzarolli are in Ozzie’s 2 people he hates 2 people he has beef with why are you speaking? He could have saved his little crying session if he didn’t say anything. (This also goes for Queen bee as well. Honestly the whole queen bee problem could have been avoided if blitzo kept his mouth shut)

Also how did he and stolas even get in? Moxxie had to wait for almost a year or so for seats to Ozzie’s because it’s always booked... also it must cost a little money to go realistically speaking and it's not like Stolas paid or even got them seats because Stolas didn’t even know they were at Ozzie's to being with. This whole episode shouldn’t have even happened from a continuity standpoint because Stolas and Blizto shouldn’t have been able to get into Ozzie's in the first place! Lol

Blitzo when something goes wrong after he literally caused it or could have avoided it by shutting up for 5 minuets:

His trip and his mom dying are stuff that aren't completely his fault as mom dying was an accident and his trip was just his inner dialog

so like 1st of all this mom dying thing didn’t work like Moxxie's did we didn’t get to see a flashback of her being motherly or whatever like we did with Moxxie's mom we saw Moxxie's mom being protective, and caring for him and all that jazz

all we know is just that yup that’s a mom and she’s dead now. :D

Speaking of dead moms. I'm about to get really heartless

Honestly the fact that Blizto made Fizz’s back story about him really irked me. Fizz is like yo, you almost ruined my life and Biltzo is like yeah that’s sad and all, but my mom died :/

Ok? Like? Fizz lost all his arms, legs, and horns and could have had his whole career as an entertainer ripped from him but yeah, your mommy died so sad

I understand it was to show his perspective but felt kind of one up-ish, no?

“I lost my arms and legs in a fire you started”

“Yeah, but my mom died” –looks around for validation-

Like yeah apologize for starting the fire but like what does your mom have to do about this? This isn't about her, ok? You nearly killed him! Focused on that babe

Im sorry but can you imagine you losing your limbs in a freak accident you though was orchestrated by an ex best friend. Then when confronted by it they're like "yeah but my mom died"

I'm sorry if I sound cruel or whatever but like really?

This isn't about her. I'm sorry... I don’t know if you’ve noticed but one of us here has robotic attachments to help them function after a fire one of us caused (albeit on accident but I don’t know that yet)

Yeah, no I was just nearly burned alive and had to endure the feeling of my skin melting off my bones for however long it took for someone to find me and take me to the hospital on my birthday. Go through whatever surgeries, and physical therapy to get better, get robotic attachments so I could still perform and function better, and get use to not having my limbs and coming to terms with my new normal and the fact that my old best friend started this whole thing in the first place (albeit on accident but I don’t know that yet) and didn’t visit me or apologize in 15ish years because of an unknown 3rd party

But yeah, your mom died

So sorry about that

What? This isn't about her! Why are you bringing this up? I'm sorry your mom and my limbs can't be here today but what does your mom have to do with my limbs getting seared off? Nothing? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Way to use your mom to soften the blow of you being the literal cause that I am now an amputee (albeit on accident but I don’t know that yet)

Nice going dude real nice

like this not the way of the platypus

Other than the fact that imps aren't immune to hell fire in the first place doesn’t make any sense to me but that’s not important at the end of the day now, is it? No, it's not

Um...

heh

Anyways...

His trip was just eh for me I really didn’t care

Also why didn’t Barbie show up in blizto’s trip or even a cameo or something? Like I know some people are gonna be like ‘well those were romantic and sexual relationships’ and yeah sure.

That's it. I don’t have a comeback for that lol

To be fair a good amount of Helluva boss characters are unsympathetic but there are characters I sympathize with even if said characters that don’t necessarily have a lot to sympathize with like Asmodeus I feel bad that Fizzarolli wakes him up with an air horn sometimes

The only time I've sympathized with Blizto was when he was getting the shit kicked out of him by Loona and that’s only because the only character, I dislike more than Blizto is Loona

(a lot of people who are critical of Loona are like “Blizto deserves better” or “Loona doesn’t deserve Bilzto” and honestly, I kinda agree but at the same time it seems like they deserve each other lol)

Everyone is like complaining that Loona isn't getting lines or any screen time but I'm over here like

But yeah, that’s all :)

#helluva boss #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss blitzo

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arocrows42 · 10 months

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My brain is so weird for a number or reasons which I will provide in a comprehensive list for nobody but probably just me (and maybe a couple of you lovely mutuals who might like this post)

I call my brain Jeffery on account of that was the first name that popped into my head and it sounds a lot less weird to hear someone say goddamn it jeffery than to hear someone say goddamn it brain when they show up somewhere without the thing it was supposed to bring bc people just assume jeffery is a weird brother or roommate or boyfriend

Occasionally I'll refer to myself as we, even though it's just me in here. This one's probably a fucked up result of hearing too much that the pronouns they and them can only be plural. Or I'm talking about me and jeffery who does things I hate

I forget almost everything and hold very few memories. I'm like if a sifter was really bad at its job and just mostly had a bunch of holes and let most of the memories go

I get caught up on words a LOT when I'm a little too sleep deprived or caffeinated and I sound like a broken record. This is stuttering but it just sounds more like a glitch in the system most of the time

If I'm watching or reading something where people are deaf and/or nonverbal, then I become nonverbal for no reason. This has happened to my mother also, but only once.

Sometimes jeffery says things like "what if your candle knocked over and set all your books and your carpet and the dog bed on fire. Oh also what if your dog died then I bet you life would be pretty empty huh. Not a lot of joy without that dog. Kinda sad really. You've got friends but damn you'd be a mess without that dong, even though she's bumpy right now." And then he continues on ranting all the time and saying things like that and "what if all those races just fell from that top shelf and killed you and your family" or "you should totally stab that kid in the eye with that colored pencil if he keeps talking shit" These things are never helpful.

Statements like the previous also can make me sad, especially the blockbuster hit " all your friends are going to get kidnapped and killed and you'll have nobody in this world except your dog who's probably gonna die in the next few years. But that won't matter anyway bc by then the US government probably will have found new ways to outlaw and commit genocide against the transgender community and you'll probably be dead." These fun thoughts are not good or fun actually and they make me hate jeffery a lot

Jeffrey is also great sometimes bc he just holds patterns and numbers and math up in there and lets almost none of it go. Except division. He yeeted division out of there faster than you can say mitosis.

Jeffery is also good bc he lets me art without stuttering or ticcing most of the time and when we do something fun and good like making a little bag or solving a puzzle, jeffery thinks only in terms of that fun thing for a few days following

Jeffery also sucks bc I won't be able to feel half my hand and then it's fine but then it hurts in a buzzy/tingly kind of way whenever you tough it or move it and finally it just stays completely buzzy and fades slowly over the next few minutes. I don't know what this is

There's more butd I'm too tired

#my posst #medically i am a mess

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louiscarrotsxoxo · 9 months

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vent

not to be all sad and shit bc i hate posting sad shit but vent

sometimes i just hate being me idk, like last night my gran DIDNT tell me to wash the dishes and i wasnt feeling well like my mental health at the time was so shit so i was gonna go easy on myself and not wash them

and she hasnt been telling me to wash them lately bc ive just been doing it bc one, shes toxic and manipulative and she'll make me feel like shit

and thats what she did.

and i just feel this inconsolable guilt when i dont do something im supposed to but i cannot get myself to do it bc im just so TIRED why cant i go easy on myself why cant i just she just wash the dishes sometimes

and all night i didnt even sleep well bc i didnt wash the dishes and i saw her in bed this morning and she usually wakes up at the crack ass of dawn to drink her coffee and listen to church music and la la la and she didnt she was in the bed watching tv and she ALWAYS gets up so if she doesnt get up ik shes mad/i messed up

and im not even half awake and she goes "i see you didnt wash the dishes last night" and shes in the bed and she looks so depressed and im like GIRLLL i was so tired and i just feel like this bawl of anxiety bc i didnt wash them and i went to make myself breakfast, before i did that i obviously washed them bc i felt so inconsolably guilty for not washing them one time

even after washing them shes still mad at me and she went on a whole rant abt how im so lazy and shit when literally my mental health has been so fucking bad

and plus WHY CANT SHE WASH THE DISHES? ik shes like almost 80 and she uses this respect ur elders shit on me so i end up having 2 wash them i KNOW i should wash them for whatever reason it is bc im lazy and im horrible and im a trash person bc i literally BREATHE

and she makes dinner and i wash them thats the invisible 'deal' except the deal only works in HER BENIFIT hence manipulation, when i cook she also expects me to wash the dishes

like when i cook for myself i obv wash them bc I DIRTED THEM I WASH THEM

and she acts like bc i ate the food i have to wash them, by that logic you ate it too so like?

im just so ugh bro im so ugh shes been making me feel like shit all fucking morning bc of it and ive cried like 3 times bc i just wanted to rest bc i cant fucking vent to anyone bc ive been feeling like no one fucking cares abt me and i dont deserve to be amongst other humans bc im always the problem im always causing drama im always the horrible one im always playing victim ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.

and plus ive been dealing w this weird thing recently where like my mom shes like not here anymore but i look exactly like her we could be twins okok and my whole family loved and adored her and when she died they were obviously sad bc from what i heard she was a great person and im obv not against that and when she had a daughter they acted like all of their problems were solved HEY WE GET A SECOND ONE OF HER

when they discoverd i look walk talk act like her we have the same intrests

im literally her in a diff font

she was gay, i am also gay

she loved boybands, i love 1d

she wanted to be a nurse, i wanna be a labor and delivery nurse practitioner

she was kind and giving, i am also that

not to mention we basically look the same like i said before, i have a class for career prep bc i wanna be in the medical field and my mom used to work at a hospital and the scrubs we wore, were the same color... as the ones she used to wear

and since then anytime anyone in my family sees me they pull up that picture and laugh and laugh of how i look just like her

and i always get the feeling they dont love me (well obv bc they treat me like shit) but also i feel like they dont love ME for ME just her bc i look like her and im her daughter

and my crazy ass gran has said so she even calls me by my mothers name sometimes not MY NAME its like im not even a person i dont even have my own personality i just STOLE IT FROM HER

its like im a reincarnation of her and i cant help i like all the same things as her bc ig that just happend but sometimes i feel like i dont even have my own identity anymore no one even loves me for me im just sme hollow representation of what they loved before no one in my family actually loves me even if i didnt look like her

they'd cast me aside and call me crazy and weird if we didnt have similar lives they'd treat me like shit more than they already do if i didnt look like her, feels like the only purpose of them treating me with 1% respect is bc i have the face of someone they loved

but then i ask myself, why cant my face be a representation of someone you love? in a weird way... why cant when you look at me you think jamila, not lena

why?

because they dont like me, forever questioning why since i was like 8 my close family just finds me so disgusting and repulsive bc i dont conform to their thinking i dont conform to the typical 'woman' in my family

im not obedient and small, i dont put up with shit i dont deserve, i like diffrent things im still a fucking kid, im sensative to violence and i dont like watchin war movies where ppls arms get chopped off i dont like watching m*rder documentaries i dont like 'facing the facts' of the world and finding it entertaining

i rreally dont

i like princesses and fairys and barbie and winx and one direction and teenage mutant ninja turtles and adventure time and fantasy and glitter and pink and being called babygirl and princess im soft and i dont like those things

AND THEY HATE IT.

I DONT KNOW WHY and i hate that i get hated on bc i dont conform to this invisble checklist of what a woman is by my families standards

by my families standards a woman is obdedient and small and never questions anything shes submissive to her hUsbAnD and shuts up when he/her elders tell her to and do anything to please anyone else in the family bc shes 'well behaved'

and when she has kids, they better not act 'fast' have a personality, act like kids, they better be obdedient little monsters who sit and play quietly while the adults are tAlKiNg

who are EXCLUDED from ever being loved respected or accepted if they act any different

and i hate it.

ty for listening 2 my rant

im sorry it was so long

#vent #rant #jamila rambles #<- starting a tag ig #mooboo has a boo boo #sadness #not 1d?#me being annoying lmfao

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loonysama · 2 years

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For the meta asks for writers: 2, 6, 7

Thanks @calenlily for the ask! These were thinkers!

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Right now I'm working on a spicy one-shot for Anna from Frozen's birthday and an exchange piece for a multi-fandom challenge that's top secret! But I have too many WIPs that I've already started posting and my goal for this year is to finish them, or at least finish some of them. I also have the Kristanna Halloween Days challenge to look forward to in October (some ficlet ideas are swirling around already!)

One of the WIPs I have out there is gonna get a rewrite. It's a Frozen x Tangled ghost story with a Kristoff/Anna and Anna & Elsa focus set in modern times called "Seeing is Believing, Hearing is Deceiving." The family lives at a haunted Victorian mansion and Anna has the ability to see but not hear ghosts (which she fully embraces) and Elsa can hear but not see them (which negatively affects her mental well-being). Anna gives ghost tours of their estate and Kristoff is the estate's conservator/maintenance tech. Both of them have an interest in Victoriana, and both live with one foot in the past. One day Kristoff is doing some repairs in the basement and discovers a literal skeleton in the bricked in dumb waiter shaft, which awakens some malevolent spirits that had been contained until then. Anna and Elsa (with the help of Kristoff and their father, Agnarr) have to work together using their combined abilities to stop a ghost that tries to use a loved one to complete their unfinished business. There's a story within the story that parallels with a history of the estate and its inhabitants with clues for how to solve the mystery, along with passages from a diary kept by the former governess. And throughout this whole thing there's also a Kristoff/Anna love story and a tragic love story about two of the ghosts. I spent so much time on world building and character development, and researching, not to see this project through. I still have two white boards with the family tree and character arcs set up, along with schematics of the Victorian mansions on the estate! I'm hoping to have it fully posted by Halloween, but I'd also rather take the time to be happy with it this time around, even if it means finishing in December or whenever. Needless to say, I have my work cut out!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

Anna from Frozen! She's lived through so much sadness but she's still bright and sunny and never gives up hope that things will be better. And she always sees the best in people. That ends up being her downfall in some ways, but in other ways it's a strength. Her character also shows incredible growth from F1 to F2, and in a lot of ways she's kind of written off, being the spare to Elsa's heir, but then her true talents are acknowledged when Elsa abdicates and names her as the new queen. And she is her own hero. She gets help from Kristoff along the way (and I love him and his non-toxic brand of masculinity), but ultimately she's the one that saves the day. It's a flip of the damsel in distress/knight in shining armor, which I can't get enough of.

I love writing her as strong and formidable (especially when no one expects that from her) despite whatever challenges she faces. And sometimes I write about some really dark and heavy stuff and it's nice to have a little ball of sunshine to part the clouds for all of us.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

I'm not 100% sure how to answer this, but here goes:

I like to push myself to be diverse in my writing, so every fic is a little different. Although, they do tend to bleed into each other a little. Usually there's something I like from one that I use for the next story but I turn it around. But there are other things that run through my stories, I'm sure.

I write a lot about relationships, so I rely on a lot of dialogue to tell the story at least as much as prose. Prose doesn't exactly make for good banter! I will say that my best fics are less dependent on dialogue, so it is something I've been exploring.

I also tend to write from one character's perspective most of the time (usually the female). I like to really focus on that character's development, and it's ultimately more interesting to me than an action-packed plot. Sometimes that means 1st person!

Most of the time my female characters are dominant or at least equal to their male counterparts, and usually they're the ones to save the day. And there's almost always a trace of trauma and mental illness there, even if it's not apparent to the reader. Sometimes I write things in layers, one specifically for the readers that have experienced trauma, because they will see things there that others won't, and an overall story arc meant for everyone. Not sure how successful I am there, but it's always in my mind anyway.

I'm a huge fan of AUs. I love writing them and reading them, even just thinking them up and filing them in the "some day" folder. Most of the time I come up with the AU before anything else, then the characters, then the plot. I think it makes for good world-building and character development, which I love. Sometimes my plots get overly complicated as a result, but for them, I tend more to just write it as I go with only basic plot points that change by the time I get there.

I have a tendency towards run-ons and over-using commas. (Don't we all, right?) I am a chronic under-editor and gun-runner that hardly ever uses betas, so I've been known to notice errors a week after posting and going in to fix it (I know I'm not the only one). I'm not gonna bring up my other flaws except that I'm always working on getting better.

I think people would agree with that? At least I hope they agree with the good stuff anyway.

#asked and answered #my two cents

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abcdosaka · 2 months

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i feel like this was kinda a long time coming but it definitely feels weird to write it down.

having a weird time trying to, i guess, 'solve' my sex life and kinda by extension love life and reconcile it with having an actual relationship with my family. the hilarious part is the thing that brought this on was me shopping for toys lmao. this post is like half sex half depression.

like i was browsing dildos bc i wanna try to experience penetration for once without clenching up like a vise grip like i wanna try to learn to enjoy it bc ngl im getting a bit of fomo of all the other girlies out there. and also ive never really had the opportunity to kinda explore different things sexually like maybe i was just afraid but now that im basically financially independent its like i want to try. the same way i tried last year but this time i dont feel like there's other people or things holding me back. except there kinda is

anyway the entire time i was thinking like wait isnt this kinda like analogous to a man's penis? yeah no shit but its the realistic ones specifically that get me. i'm like wait i really do not like that. it really shoves in your face that like this is a MALE sex organ (which ya ik gender and sex is not real but for all intents and purposes in this case, it’s male). and its weird its like my brain kinda gets that im a lesbian but there's a disconnect with my body somewhere. like ok i know there's a huge thing about this and its like stepping on a minefield but just for me personally. i never thought i had a strong genital preference specifically like i always thought well, i like boobs and i like pussy and if i'm like watching porn or whatever and a dick pops up im like cool fine that is an object thats not a human. sorry to anyone i dehumanized just now. but its not like i HATE dick i think its alright sometimes even great but is it something i want inside me? idk. not really. especially not face to face with a man its just disturbing idk.

but point is im still kinda mentally in denial somewhere like my brain thinks theres some deep trauma or problem or bias against men that needs to be solved so that i can like men. but ive never been through a trauma like that. and obviously im well aware i am a little sexist like i dont vibe well with men. is that why? like i don't like the idea of having to have a relationship with a man bc i need to feel superior somehow? or maybe not superior but just not inferior. like its just more equal between women. yeah i think thats maybe it. but i feel like thats not just it. i also feel like theres some biologic instinct that turns me off to them. or maybe its nature vs nurture and ive nurtured myself so hard that im like well i can't like men now. the weird part about that is that i'd think it should be the other way around. like how straight incels will be like god i wish i was gay but i can't help being attracted to women. its a question ive been trying to solve for a decade and maybe i already know the answer but idk how to feel solid about it

anyway i saw one that was so cute it was like a bunch of pink hearts but its way too girthy. plus it was like $55 which is just. its probably normal for dildo prices that arent the microplastics shein ones but also like seriously. i might wait for if it goes on sale if i think ill like it after i try a smaller one. ill have to order it next week bc i wanna ship it to the post office so theres no chance my upstairs neighbour would get it by accident. but tbh ive experienced enough embarassing things that when i recall them i dont even get embarassed im just numb so i think if that happened itll just go in the numb pile or maybe funny pile.

now to the kinda sad part. how tf do i tell my family? ive always known that im gonna have to tell them sooner or later and id do it after im financially independent but this is the thing in my way that i was talking about. my family is not perfect or even close at all but idk. they kind of are all i got. yeah i have friends but nobody close enough to call in an emergency or whatever. and i feel a bit bad bc they have actually done a lot for me. like the shit before uni was whatever like thats what you do for family but everything they helped me with during uni, even though i hated it, i did need their help. i guess if i had other people to rely on i wouldn't have. but im a really fucking guarded person like i really dont like trusting people like that. at least with my family i believe they wouldn't screw me over bc of something petty. i moved halfway across the country so i could have the sort of privacy i wanted and seems like my mom knows that but i talked to her today and she was like maybe i could come visit in july and i was like alright i guess. but now im like wait so what happens if i start dating.

i actually really dislike that it seems like everyone in my family, extended and all, all of the sudden wants to hang out all the fucking time.

you know i bet they wouldn't even acknowledge it. in which case im not gonna acknowledge that they aren't acknowledging it. like ill just pretend they accept it. i need to make some queer friends here like actually

or maybe it isn't as big a deal as i think it is. i do live pretty far away. wtf are they gonna do from all the way over there lmao. nobody's gonna kill me over it. worst is i probably get disowned or cut off. or ill have to be the villain and cut them off. thatll be interesting

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snorlaxlovesme · 2 years

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ACK okay im just gonna say something. im gonna only allow myself 30 minutes to talk about it and then i’m gonna go back to being chill or whatever for forever or until i get a therapist

suicide tw, this post is about a person committing suicide and my feelings on it so don’t look if that make you feel a certain type of way

i had a friend in college freshman year. we because FAST friends, BEST friends, like immediately and it was awesome. i had a bunch of good memories of doing dumb shit with her freshman year and it felt like we would be friends for life.

sophomore year our friendship got ugly. my jealousy of her money and her rude jokes at my expense caused a lot of tension. the end of first semester we had a GIANT fight. it was about nothing but underneath it was about all of that bubbling tension. friendship ended.

that year my depression kicked in HIGH gear. i almost flunked out of school. i don’t know how she was doing. we didn’t speak.

we continued to not speak except in public cordial settings.

senior year she tried to kill herself. she found out she had BPD and it explained a LOT of her problems but the knowing didn’t solve anything and she almost died. she was a very candid person, so if ppl asked her about her attempt she was happy (bad wording, but you know) to talk about it and raise awareness. she was a storyteller at heart, so she was open to tell the story.

we were not friends then. so i never asked. i read about it on facebook. i read a lot of her novel-length statuses and learned things about her i could have learned in person.

after college we liked each other’s statuses occassionally. i never saw her after that photo we took on graduation day.

me and my friends spent a lot time talking shit about her amongst ourselves bc everyone was on My side about that BIG FIGHT we had. i forgot a lot of our good memories bc i spent so much time reminding myself to dislike her. ADHD is good at wiping brains, so my brain got pretty thoroughly wiped. all the inside jokes, all the movies nights and sitting on my bed laughing and dinner in the cafeteria and walks to Dollar General and rants about our personal lives were gone.

long after college i find a notebook with a letter addressed to her that i don’t remember writing. i told her how i agree, i think that our fighting was stupid and i miss her too. i want to know how she’s doing. i want to learn equestrian terms from her again and have tell me things about coding. i want to be friends again.

i wish. i WISH i could remember writing this letter in this notebook. i wish i could remember the letter she must have sent me to get me to respond. but i told my memory to wipe itself and it did jut that. all i can parse together is that she must have sent me a letter saying that she missed me, saying she wanted to give us another try, in my school mailbox. and in this old notebook is the letter i never sent.

i don’t know if it was out of bitterness. i don’t know if my ADHD and depression just stopped me from physically being able to tear out these three pieces of paper and address them to her. i don’t know if i just forgot about it and never thought about it again.

about two months after i found that letter i never sent, she killed herself. i was called on a Sunday morning and told by my college roommate, and we both spent the rest of the conversation in mild shock trying to figure out if it was true, how she did it, how her family was taking it. the conversation was weirdly sterile and emotionless. like i was finding out that someone i once knew broke their leg, and it was interesting enough to have a brief conversation about but not enough to say much more on.

but i was silent for the next two days.

i went to the funeral. it was a weird. we were all there and crying at the appropriately sad and emotional parts, but after the funeral me and my roommate talked about her boy problems and how good the food was. i know coping sometimes involves avoiding talking about the Bad Thing, but now the funeral has ended, the perfect time to talk about her, and it feels like we missed that opportunity.

i have this weird thing that sometimes feels like anti-anxiety. while an anxious person walks into a room and assumes every person hates them, i assume everyone either loves me or doesn’t think of me at all.

since we were no longer friends, i just assumed my former-friend never thought of me at all.

but i thought of her, didn’t i? i’ve never been in a relationship, so i’ve never truly broken up with someone, but if i had to guess, the heartbreak i felt when we stopped being friends is how it would feel. it ate at me for months after stopped talking, it made every interaction we had awkward because i longed for the fun times we had, but i hated her, but i wished she would talk to me, but i didn’t even want to look at her. if people asked me what the significant Plot Points in my life were, our sophomore year fallout would always make the list.

the odds that she thought about me sometimes? probably pretty high. she thought about me enough to send me a letter to try and fix whatever he had. she missed me like i missed her, even though i spent years trying to push down that truth. she sent me that letter and i never even RESPONDED.

i don’t know what i’m saying. because i’m not trying to say i caused her death because she had a lot of problems and being bi-polar helped none of them, i’m sure. but i know that whatever we had, whatever we lost, whatever i refused to give back caused her unhappiness.

and now she’s dead. she waited only a few days after her 27th birthday.

i don’t know how i feel. about any of it. i spent SO LONG after our friendship dissolved genuinely trying to forget that she existed so it wouldn’t hurt so much that all that love between us was gone. now the hole in my heart where she was is so much BIGGER because she killed herself. and i have no one to talk about it with. everyone became Team SHE SUCKS so now talking about the good times we had feels. hypocritical i guess. i can’t talk about how sad this all makes me. how i’m mad at her for doing this. how i wish i never found that never-sent letter. i wouldn’t have remembered that she tried to repair us that and that i denied her the chance. i wouldn’t think about how much it must have hurt to wait for a response that never came.

i want her to be alive so i can tell her i’m sorry for that. that i’m sorry for the jealousy and for not recognizing HER feelings until it was too late. i want to talk about horses with her again. i can’t look at horses now without thinking of her. i can’t hear a new song or watch a new movie or see something beautiful without thinking that she can’t experience these things now. that her experience of life ended a year ago today.

i don’t know. i don’t know how to end this. if i could i’d take back all the memories of her that i wiped away. i wish i at least had those.

#suicide tw #[redacted]

0 notes

heniareth · 3 years

Note

I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)

Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.

Edit: I have updated it ^^

Let's go alphabetically bc why not.

Alistair:

Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?

Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).

Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.

That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.

Leliana:

Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).

Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.

I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.

Loghain:

This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.

Morrigan:

I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.

Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.

Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)

Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.

Oghren:

They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!

Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.

I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.

Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):

Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.

Shale:

Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).

Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.

All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).

Sten:

Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.

One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.

For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.

Wynne:

Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.

She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.

Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.

Zevran:

You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.

Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.

Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.

I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.

My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.

There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).

---

And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD

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lovee-infected · 4 years

Text

♦ Anon asked ~ Okay how would guys and their darling react to being slapped by Eliza? Feel free to write for any of those who got slapped ^^ Gender is neutral

Aaa this one was really sweet so I did it for all guys (who got slapped-)

I reached my 10 pic limit and had to sacrifice twins ixkskxksos

[note : re-posted his because my tags weren't working]

♦♥♠♣

Poor boy remained silent for a few minutes after that mess with ghost princess , still unable to talk

His cheeks are flushed that proved him being embarrassed , making him look greatly...cute

Just as much as you loved seeing softer sides of him you can't see him this sad , so now it is your responsibility to lift him up

He is upset with both failing to help and being an idiot in front of Eliza

The whole thing proved how soft he can actually be , which fascinated you . You hadn't ever thought of him being like this ; shy and... helplessly childish with girls

Deuce is a bit worried with the way you see him now , he doesn't want his picture ruined . But as a matter of fact you like him even more now , he could be serious and strict at times but still , he's a soft boy inside

You ask if he feels any shy around you and it makes him turn his head away to add a nervous : " M...me? Absolutely not- why would I .??"

You now know that he actually does but it isn't something he needs to hide , that actually makes him look awfully cute

He still seems sad though so you give him a small kiss on forehead , making him blush even harder

Well even if he's shy with you you aren't ; after all he is your boy

Trey himself couldn't help laughing at what had happened. He tried his best to be a gentleman , and he really was . But seems like Eliza had more different standards than he was expecting

Trey's mind just wasn't ready to go from his normal self to a high-level prince , but he doesn't find singing a part of a prince's duties either

"My my , it really messed up," he says as he joins you and the others in the losers' bench

You knew that the proposal was all fake , but Trey just wasn't one who could act it all ; he didn't have Vil's pure talent of an actor or Leona's charm of a prince , yet he did his very best

You tell that you really liked the way he presented himself , pretty much of a mature young man he really is and he gets blessed . He isn't much of a romantic guy and he appreciates that you like him as he is

You give him a "Ghost bride surely lost a great option , " to lift him up and it did , making him wink adding : " Well, perhaps she knew that I have a better one myself ,"

Finally after posting 34 pics of his slapped face along with other supplies such as his fake tears , dead flowers and some broken-hearted captions with tons of #Ghostbride #Puishmentoflove #illfate #brokenheart and and and you managed to have him looking off his phone for a second

You tell how he's making an issue out of nothing but he'll just laugh : " Who cares that it's all fake ? Teens are gonna love it ! ,"

He must be thankful that Eliza didn't see this part pf him or he should've spammed pics of his broken legs and hands instead

He takes the best advantage of being slapped and you wonder how he's just being all excited about it , what if the same thing happens while he's seriously proposing to someone ?

You ask if it bothers him , the feeling of being rejected and he goes silent for a moment not looking at his phone but the ground now , perhaps thinking of an logical answer

You drop your head regretting what you asked and then , he cuts you off with a small kiss on your cheek : " That's simple , my dear (y/n). Not a single soul likes being rejected no matter what the reason is , so that's why I always make sure that I won't get rejected before asking ; today was just an exception ,"

You get a bit confused at the answer , wanting him to give you an example

He slightly smirks before adding :" Well , ‌you didn't reject me , did you ?"

For the heaven's sake ; you couldn't be any more thankful that he got rejected . From the very moment they announced that princess was looking for a prince you feared of her picking Leona , a real prince

Leona is already prince charming of his home town ; Not a single soul could say no to him

The second he got slapped , his eyes - You were trying to feel sorry about it but the way he glared at Eliza as if he was a chubby cat pushed into water ; it was beyond hilarious

Leona has his own ways when it comes to attracting ladies , making him almost irresistible to many including you , but not the ghost bride

He seems really pissed off at the whole thing ; not that he liked the ghost bride that much , he just hates being rejected

With him being a growling cat for the rest of day , you decide to spoil him a little ; letting him take naps on your lap and rubbing back of his ears make him a whole lot better , but he won't say a word of satisfaction

You are used to his cringy behaviors and can't help loving them , you are really thankful that your cat would still be all yours - even if it was supposed to be a fake marriage

He just - Froze

Sword skills ? Were they a thing he lacked ? Was it just one of those royal fancy rules or could it be a serious problem ? He now was concerned

You found him getting slapped pretty unfair since not many these days are familiar with sword skills ; but there were no argues on that point since Eliza once lived as a girl from more than 500 years ago , so she surely ends up having more complicated standards comparing to you

You tell Jack about it and that it's fine , but he refuses to believe

He had heard of Sebek together with Silver being well-trained sword men which meant that this tradition still remained necessary , so he now is seriously thinking about picking it up

You couldn't blame him though , once he feels like he needs to be stronger that's it ; but you don't want him overwork himself

You insist that sword skills are pretty silly to him while he's got his powerful fists and the secret unleash the beast , but he still seems to have a doubt about it

Since he looks pretty certain with his choice , you don't try to stop him but you make promise that he wouldn't overwork himself , which he does

He intends to get stronger to protect his beloved ones , including you so there was nothing that could hold him back if it was because of you

♦♥♠♣ Jade Leech

Jade still doesn't get why Eliza didn't like the flowers , yes he didn't like them either but aren't flowers ladies' most appreciated gift ? How confusing , he thought

You slap the ice-pack against his face , just who on earth would give away unwanted flowers from his terrarium as a bouquet ?

Jade doesn't get why he shouldn't have , he was benefitting both himself and Eliza , right ? Or could that be that surface girls followed different romance traditions from underwater ? He needed more information then

He asks for ways to make a girl fall in love , which made you laugh , you told that if he's going to retry the thing with Eliza , he would end up needing way more than one ice-pack

He agrees with you on that point , so he wonders if he can practice tactics with you since you are a pretty gentle and calm partner , and it makes you blush

You tell him to focus on not being slapped again as long as this ghost marriage lasts and in return , you then can teach him some tricks with ladies

♦♥♠♣ Floyd Leech

He didn't really like Eliza from the very beginning so there was no way the two of them would end up together even if he wasn't slapped

Floyd isn't into this type of girls which are too strict and loud ; he prefers softer and cuter types , something he can dominant

You expect him to get moody and pissed off , but he just doesn't seem to care

thanks to him Jade as well got slapped -very hard- and that successfully lifted his mood up

You ask him if he wants to take a walk and he agrees in deal of you paying for his candy , and you gladly agree

The two of you have candies together and make fun of others getting slapped back there

Both of you agree on Jade's expression being way more hilarious than Azul's

When you finally get back to others trying to find a way , he whispers into your ears : " If I ever were to propose to someone , I'd prefer it to be to someone like you"~

Man , he's really pissed off. Talking too much will usually be beneficial while dealing on a contract , mostly because of the way it confuses dealers and gives them an unconscious vibe causing them to believe you ; strange yet helpful

Azul hadn't thought of proposing being this different from making contracts , and it was odd to him

He now is supposed to be looking for a way to save his boardgames club friend , but another thought keeps haunting him :

What are the correct ways of... making someone fall for you ? To attract a lady ? Isn't having a good face and using sweet words like enough ? He needed more lessons if he wanted to be an ideal dealer

You sigh as his serious replies , disappointed to see how he really had no idea about emotional terms

You tell him how life isn't always about business and benefitting , but sometimes about feelings and well , loving

He mumbles saying how useless emotions are , a waste of time and brain cells to him

You suggest teaching him more about emotional situations which may be helpful , and charming to others , which sounds like a great deal to him , but he doesn't accept you giving it to him for free, saying that you as well must set a price

You aren't really sure what to ask , so you just want him to invite you to a fancy dinner after having this case with the ghost bride solved

Just as you hear the sound of him getting slapped , you know that it was bad news

Vil is trying his best to be calm but...it doesn't really seem to be working . His fist's shaking in anger as if he's gonna slam it against the wall or maybe someone . He got rejected and he couldn't take it ; he

wasn't one to accept such a thing

Although he isn't a real prince , he had anything needed to be a real one : Elegance , Charm , Nobility and maturity ; he was perfect

He is really furious now , specially thinking at how Lilia intended to avoid Malleus from showing up in fear of his high chance of being accepted . He wasn't one to say that he would surpass Malleus , but he wasn't any lower than him either: if a dog was the only reason he got rejected then Malleus as well would've been...but wait- doesn't it mean that Idia too shouldn't have been chosen since he loves cats ?

In that case..it must've had another reason : He wasn't good enough

You knew that Vil would never be satisfied no matter how many times you told him that he was already gorgeous , he wanted to be better

It was useless trying to take his mind away from being rejected through the same ways so you had to sacrifice yourself :

You go to Vil asking is he can join you for a second -until others get slapped try to propose because you are having some... beauty issues

You try to get him talking to you as much as possible ,from importance of having an organized sleep schedule to forbidding laughing too much since it will bring you wrinkles

You know that if there's one thing that Vil would always be proud of , that would be speaking of his high-key beauty skills which he couldn't ever get enough of

He could go on all day if Leona didn't cut him off : " Oi , aren't the two of you done yet ?"

Even with Leona pissing him off , he now seems to be a lot better and that was a success for you . Even if he doesn't notice how you were trying to secretly lift his mood up

Lilia is...crying ?

Your heart melts at the sight of his soft tears falling down his pale face , making you as well cry

You don't know why you are being overly emotional but who on earth would slap others because just because of being too cute ?!

You can't help but to be mad at Eliza , wanting to punch her in the face just as she did to Lilia , but Lilia stops you , wondering why you might want to do such a thing

You angrily express how unfair you think what she did was , telling that she shouldn't be treaten las if she has the right to do whatever she'd like

"Just HOW is cuteness considered to be a bad thing ?!" you argue , loud enough to gain attention to yourself . Lilia takes you out before Eliza could've heard

He then sits beside you , trying to see what could've been wrong with you ; were you sick or just in a bad mood maybe ? He couldn't tell

" I'm sorry I just , got really mad with what she did and after you cried..." you mumble slowly , making Lilia giggle

" My my darling , I wasn't the only one who got slapped and also , I just cried at how my whole presentation keeps getting ruined by my... appreance . You know , it's a bit frustrating to be called cute after living hundreds of years as a terrifying dark fae ," he says , shaking his head in a playful manner

You are relieved knowing that he wasn't crying of pain or being heartbroken , and now he as well seems to be better

He asks of you're ready to return inside and you quickly agree , admitting that you might have been a bit too emotional

Just before you two get to others , he brings himself closer to ask you something : " You as well agree that I'm cute , don't you ?"

"How dare she- I see now why master Lilia didn't let master Draconia approach - this disgraceful spirits don't deserve having the slightest sight of him..."and and and were the words you keeped up with untill you grew tired which was 20 minutes later . You really wish him to have a turn off button sometimes

Sebek feels really offended specially because he was just about to get to the best part of his speech about Malleus but got slapped in face

The sight of his mouth getting shut as Eliza slapped him was priceless , perhaps she and Malleus were the only ones who had ever got to shut his mouth

When he finally cools down , his puppy side is brought up : " (y/n) , maybe I didn't present myself good enough in front of her and caused her to take young master lightly . Is it my fault ? "

You keep telling him that Eliza just didn't like how he brought Malleus out of nowhere and started to ramble nonsense about him when he was supposed to be proposing

Sebek doesn't take your comment as a polite one at first , bit he had to agree , maybe it would have worked out for her if this ghost knew who the great Malleus Draconia is and that was why it all went wrong

You sigh at how he doesn't get your point at all but you don't say a word , he deeply appreciated Malleus after all ; Thought Malleus had to be removed surgically from him

Since he doesn't seem to be giving up , you say that you'd really like to hear that best part about Malleus , making him flatter and start talking like a parrot again

You don't really care what he says or how great Malleus can actually be , but if that's what makes him happy you are fine with it

979 notes · View notes

trivia-bangtan · 3 years

Text

after (jjk) - 005

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: this chapter gets extremely dark 😭 (nothing new lol)

authors note: omfg im so sorry it’s taken me so long to post 😩 the schedule might change from now on bc my schedule changed 😅 but hope u guys enjoy it 😩😩

there's a phobia called agoraphobia. it’s basically the fear of places and situations that can cause panic, helplessness and/or embarrassment. usually, i can deal with it. but things like cringe worthy scenes and overly cheesy romance is unavoidable.

especially being friends with jeon jungkook.

i knew better than to hand out my phone number to just anyone, but i thought maybe jungkook would be so busy with his own life, he would leave me alone.

for his parents' sake, i hope he had unlimited talk and text for his plan. the boy texted me first thing in the morning and every hour or so. he would call me at night, sometimes even facetime me, just before he went to bed. and even when we would hang up, he would still text me goodnight.

the only other person i would talk to everyday, other than my parents, is hoseok. hoseok was my older cousin, but one of my closest friends as well. but even hoseok gave a break during the day to allow some “me time” for the both of us.

jungkook was relentless. he would always text me “good morning sunshine” and then text me “good night my moon”. what the hell even was that?

as much as it was annoying, it was endearing in a sense. i guess it was nice to have someone other than family constantly checking up on me. but some part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what namjoon had said and if he felt obligated to have to talk to me.

i knew jungkook wasn’t like that. but a small part of me couldn’t help but convince myself that it could be true.

“so the guy texts you all the time? it’s not a big deal,” hoseok said, sitting across the island in his kitchen. i stuck my fork into my bowl of fruit, impaling a small blueberry in the process.

“i mean, it’s not but it’s weird. hobi, i’ve never had someone crave to talk to me so often. and i swear it has to be because of what our counselor said,” i mumble.

the thing about hoseok is he has an aura that gets you to spill all emotions. much like jungkook. but the difference between the two of them in my life is that i’ve known hoseok a lot longer and can confirm he can keep his mouth shut.

“well contrary to your belief, you’re a decent person to have around,” he shrugs, giving a strawberry in his mouth. i snort at his comment and roll my eyes.

“wow, what a compliment. it’s a wonder you’re single,” i chuckle, shoveling the fork full of blueberries into my mouth.

“i’m single by choice. what about you?” hoseok smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” i asked, laughing at his expression.

“what?”

“the whole thing?” i respond, laying my fork down onto the counter, leaning onto it with my elbows, forearms flat as i folded my hands.

“i’m single because i choose to be. i prefer comforting solitude than forced company,” he shrugs, continuing to shovel fruit into his mouth.

“forced company?” i ask.

“yeah. like, just because we’re together, they feel obligated to HAVE to hang out with me or invite me everywhere when, in reality, i don’t give a damn. i mean, you know me. we both value our solitude and respect that. but it’s hard to find someone that understands that. and then i’m the bad guy for wanting alone time when really, it’s a mental health break,” hoseok explains, his eyes locked onto the bowl in front of him.

his statement surprised me. he was always such a people oriented person. as kids, he was the first to make friends between us and always such an extrovert. it kind of hurt to know eventually his whole personality switched. but maybe being so wrapped up in my world and in my own issues, i failed to acknowledge the people around me.

the atmosphere changed after that. almost as if there was a sad reminisce in the air.

“do you think you’re forced to keep me company?” i blurted. i couldn’t deny, the thought crossed my mind multiple times before. was everyone around me just babysitting to make sure i didn’t hurt myself?

i couldn’t tell. i knew asking would be dumb. hoseok would never tell me the truth. he’s usually a pretty blunt and up front guy, but he would never outright hurt my feelings. which saddened me even more. would he willingly lie to comfort me? knowing what i knew?

“do you think i am?”

“yeah,” i honestly admitted. we both sat in silence, taking in my answer.

it wasn’t a lie. like i said, the thought had crossed my mind. every time he placed his phone down on the table to force himself to give me his attention. the way he seemingly dropped everything immediately if i asked him to hang out with me or pick me up some place. how i never heard of him being with friends.

the more i sat there, the more i threw myself into overdrive, thinking until my head started to pound from overthinking.

“well, you’re wrong,” he sighed. my eyes flitted up to gaze at his face. he looked sullen, almost like my answer had upset him. i released a silent huff through my nose, smirking in the process.

“you don’t have to protect me,” i murmured quietly.

“my mom called me. she begged me to come home one day. i didn’t understand it at first, but she's my mom. i did as i was told. when i got home, she didn’t say anything, just told me to get in the car. i remember thinking to myself ‘what’s got her feeling this way? why is she being ominous with her actions?’ the whole drive, she said nothing,” hoseok said, a distant look in his eyes.

“she ended up pulling over at some park. it was late, so i didn’t recognize it at first. but then i realized what park it was. it was the park we went to as kids. and, again, i kept wondering to myself why she was being enigmatic with her actions. and then she spoke. she said six words and then didn’t speak the rest of the week,” he said, his voice shaken with sadness.

“what did she say?” i asked softly, my voice a mere whisper. hoseok looked up at me, his eyes glazed red.

“your cousin tried to kill herself.”

i felt like the air had come out of my lungs.

it’s funny, people like to talk about your attempts, but nobody ever tells you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. nobody tells you the pain they feel or the hurt. the anger or the betrayal. they pretend like what they felt didn’t happen to convince themselves it wasn’t real and they could move on. because it didn’t work and you’re alive.

but hearing hoseok tell me about his experience, it stirred something in my heart and i hadn’t felt in a long time.

regret.

“she didn’t even mention if you survived or if you were okay. that’s all she said. and because she was crying, i assumed the worst. i had assumed you died. and it felt like everything in me… stopped working. like, i forgot what it was like to not have you by my side. every… every memory, every laugh. every inside joke. it was like a corny ass film playing at 2x speed in front of me. my mind kept telling itself this can’t be real. she wouldn’t do that to me’. but the longer we sat there and the harder she cried, i couldn’t take it. i jumped out of the car and just started running. i didn’t know where i was going but i just had to run because the car was so suffocating, i thought i was gonna pass out. and i kept asking myself ‘why her? why couldn’t she just talk to me? why didn’t she tell me she was hurting? does she know how much i love her and that i would do anything to keep her here?’ and then i was pissed because i thought you had abandoned me. that you didn’t care about me or your parents or my mom. but then… once i stopped running… i felt bad for you. because i could never imagine the amount of loneliness you must’ve felt thinking the only way to solve this was to end it all,” he said through his compendious recount of that night. i could feel the hurt and regret make its rounds in my heart, forcing my body to follow. it physically ached to hear hobi recall every moment of that night. “i’m sorry,” i cried out, crying into my hands.

“that’s why i hang out with you. that’s why i talk to you. because i don’t want you to feel that kind of loneliness ever again,” he admitted, sniffling. the hurt and regret only further festered and made me cry over hard to the point where i felt like i couldn’t breathe. hoseok stood from his spot, making his way around the island. he stood in front of me, pulling me into his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. i hadn’t hugged anyone in years, and the amount of care and love hoseok had emitted through his hug made me cry even more.

“and that’s why i’m so glad you have jungkook. because when i can’t be there, at least he is,” he explained, rubbing small circles in my back.

though my doubt was still heavy, and i felt as if he had an ulterior motive, hoseok’s words comforted me in a way.

jungkook had been nothing but kind, never intrusive or inquisitive about my history or my feelings. he spoke to me because he wanted me to know that he cared.

and for the first time in forever, i felt something else too.

hope.

#bts #kpop #bts jungkook #jungkook #bts angst #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #bts jeon jungkook #bts scenarios #jeon jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook

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genaleah · 3 years

Text

ANSWERING WILDCARD QUESTIONS

For the first time in about a year maybe??? Some of these might be even older than that.

Yes, it is Korka! I definitely want her involved, she’s a wonderful character and there is a *lot* of fun paranormal stuff going on in this setting that she can help them research. Also, I’d just love for her and Nelson to become friends!

Thank you! I love him a lot, and it’s fun to picture him interacting with the other guys. They’d all make for some interesting uncle figures, but they might not be that great in terms of role models.

OHOHO. Devilish laugh. That’s a wonderful idea, and a good way to keep him occupied at some point. He’s a great character, but he’s incredibly powerful, and I want these dudes to solve their own problems whenever possible.

A good question! I don’t remember most of my dreams, but there’s usually a consistent look to the vivid ones. Lots of water, mountains, creeks, and high, winding roads. There are also a lot of buildings that are closely integrated with nature, even though I have almost never seen construction like that.

I had not, but now I have! Here’s a trailer, for anyone else that missed it:

https://youtu.be/33HXHaaagsw

I really like these new models! I’m looking forward to watching a playthrough when that’s available. Just like with Rhombus of Ruin, I don’t think I’ll be able to play this one myself.

DOUBLE FINE, I WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU- no, I’m kidding! I think great minds think alike. But I’m really excited to learn more about that character and possibly involve them in this whole au eventually.

I’ve actually tried to avoid almost any info about Psychonauts 2 so I can go in mostly-blind, and a lot of the characters are vague to me. It’s fun to look forward to, but it’s also a little harrowing because I don’t know how to anticipate for it!

N...NO..... I NEED TO... Honestly those are old enough that it might be a good idea for me to re-make them, as well as the playing cards I made for the mega playlist cover. I think it’d be nice to remake them as vectors... that might make for a nice art stream sometime. I’ll mention publicly if I start doing that, and sharing any of these conceptual Wildcards arts when they’re done.

And if you’re just curious about what the tarot cards for the other characters are going to be, it’s this:

Eddie: Judgement, The Magician, The Emperor

Manny: Death, Justice, The World

Sam: The Chariot, The Tower, Strength

Max: The Devil, Wheel of Fortune, Joker

Although! I may actually give the Moon card to Max instead of the Devil, and replace the missing card from Nelson’s selection with the High Priestess? 🤔 I’ll decide when I get to it.

Could be! I’ve flip-flopped occasionally on if I want the split-a-cab gang to participate much in the story. I think they deserve a break, and splitting an apartment in New York seems like a good situation for the four of them.

Oh boy, that must be so disorienting for him. The Psychonauts deal with a lot of hippy-dippy weirdness in a seemingly organized way, but it seems like they’re not as paranoid about safety as a real federal organization would be. Not necessarily a good thing, considering one of their camp counselors went AWOL one day, and the head of the Psychonauts got kidnapped the next. They kinda need to get their act together.

Fun fact, in one of the earlier drafts of Chapter 3 I was actually going to make Nelson get scanned by the equivalent of a metal-detector for malevolent thoughts at the door and get really spooked by it, but I decided against it.

YEAH IT’S ON THE LIST

Honestly, a big bulk of the plot in this just regards characters having to face their mental health struggles... via facing it as literal internal demons, unstable powers, etc. It’s going to take a little while for any of Eddie’s teammates to realize how MUCH he has going on under the surface because he does a pretty good job of hiding it. “Needing to help others above ever helping themselves” is a hard issue to notice if you’re not looking for it. But it’s a guarantee that once they find out he needs help, they’ll give it; whether that’s making sure he’s not working himself too hard, or fighting off demonic cultists. Care comes in many forms.

SHE NEEDS TO REST.... POOR SYBIL (on the upside, they don’t TECHNICALLY work there, so she might be fine most of the time.)

Strong Bad isn’t a Psychonaut! He’s just a vlogger and a petty (psychic) criminal. It’s honestly not very different from canon.

Free Country, USA is a smalltown hotbed of psychic activity. Nearly everyone there has some mild capacity for supernatural powers, but nobody really notices or cares. Strong Bad just pops the tops off of cold ones and.... sometimes alters reality, a tiny bit. But mostly just in regards to media. The cartoons, comics, etc, that he invents and talks about have a tendency to suddenly voip into existence and nobody knows how. I swear, there’s actually a line of him saying something to this effect, but I can’t find it anywhere. Don’t worry about it! Nobody in town is ever going to do anything truly nefarious with their powers, so it’s not a high priority on the Psychonauts’ radar, just a weird footnote.

The only reason Homestar is an actual agent is because he seems like exactly the kind of guy to sign up for a job like that on accident and then stick with it. And he’s a talented telekinetic! None of his other friends know about his job or notice his absences.

And just for fun, here’s some weird instances of psychic overpowering that happened in the cartoon:

---

(Poor Strong Sad)

I’ve actually answered this one before! BAM Pretty sure all of it is still accurate.

Nelson: He sees floating sheets of paper containing notes, questions, etc. Anything that he wants to know more about regarding that person. The notes are subject to edits, cross-outs, ripped pages, etc.

Guybrush: He sees the item that the person is carrying that he wants most. As he gets to know people better, he sees them for their useful skills first.

Manny: His view of most living people is not very kind...

The people he’s closest to will eventually look a lot less garish. More like a flattering, camera-ready versions of themselves.

Eddie: Sickass sketch drawings that look like they belong in the margins of a composition book. The illustrations improve as he gets a better picture of where they’d fit in the internal lore of his mental world.

Sam: A lot like Nelson; Sam pictures case files, though his are a bit more in-depth.

Max: Max’s visions of people are highly personal and uncomfortable for those who witness them. He sees Nelson as a puzzle with a piece missing. Guybrush is a ripped up voodoo doll. Manny is a forgotten ofrenda. Eddie is a powder keg with a long, lit fuse. Sam is Sam, but he’s the wrong one.

I also got two questions that were pretty big subjects, or that I didn’t want to repeat, so I’m gonna cover them pretty broadly:

REGARDING [X] CHARACTER OR SERIES INCLUDED IN THE AU

Sure, I support it! I’ve gotten this question a few times in regards to things that I haven’t had time to delve into yet, or I’m not interested in, so I’m not going to include it into the AU myself. But if you want to explore an idea like that, feel free! This AU is pretty dang collaborative.

My main focus is just on the main 6 properties: Psychonauts, Puzzle Agent, Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, Brutal Legend, and Sam & Max.

But my general rule of thumb for “characters that exist somewhere within the background of this story” are any other properties owned by Telltale, Lucasarts, or Double Fine. And considering all of the licensed games that Telltale was getting into before it kicked the bucket, that includes some really weird characters, even up to the Venture Bros. I loved that series, but I’m not really interested in doing anything with them for this story! Partly for my sanity, the canon I’ve picked are already a lot of content to play with.

ASSORTED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE WILDCARD AU DISCORD

There’s no particular criteria needed to join the discord, and it’s not strictly on a need-to-know basis! Because it’s been a long while since anyone has joined, I've been hesitant about adding new people in... But I‘ve decided to try sending invitations again! Everyone who had asked about it in the past will be getting a ping by me in about a day or so, since I want to double-check if you’re still interested. If you’ve been nervous to ask you can reply to this post or message me privately.

Some things to keep in mind before asking or accepting the invite:

If you’re not a friend or a follower I recognize, I will likely double-check your tumblr along with some other current members before sending the invite.

Here’s the Rules page, so you know what to expect before you join:

Be Mindful - Respect other people's boundaries, don't do or say things that would cross the line. If your behavior makes other people feel uncomfortable or unsafe, I will remove you from the chat. In most cases I will try to resolve things with you and offer a chance to do better, but that will depend on the severity of the situation. And if you have any concerns regarding another member of the chat, you can contact me privately.

Health Boundaries - While discussions of mental health do occasionally pop up, do not rely on the chat for help. None of us are equipped to handle serious mental health concerns, and it will only cause distress for everyone. Please seek real help if it is needed! If you rely on people beyond the point that they have asked you to stop, I will remove you from the chat.

NSFW - Generally speaking, try to keep NSFW talk to a minimum. Swearing and humor is fine, but don't get too explicit please! Discussions should usually keep to a PG-13 / occasional R, but no NC-17.

Spoilers & Censorship - Please use the spoiler function to hide story spoilers, as well as discussions and graphic depictions of gore/excessive blood/body horror/severe psychological horror. Include a content warning so that people know what they could potentially be seeing when they click on the censored content. If the spoilered content is the subject of a back-and-forth discussion, please use another warning when you are switching to a different spoilered topic. (Note that these rules were added to the chat later, so be careful when using the search function or back reading.)

The canon series involved with the Wildcard AU are Psychonauts, Puzzle Agent, Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, Brutal Legend, and Sam & Max. Please be mindful of story spoilers!

Channel Organization - Also be mindful of which channel you're in and move a discussion over if need be! That way they don't get too clogged with unrelated info.

Creative Criticism - When it comes to writing, art, or character creation; try to be open to suggestions from others! Nearly all of the creative work in the chat is collaborative, so input from others is important! Creative criticism is not the same as judgement, and is not a personal attack.

Have fun! - Discussions move quickly in this chat! Don't feel bad if you ever need to step back, whether it's because of the speed or a disinterest in whatever current topic we're focusing on. If you ever want to come back, we're happy to have you and can give quick explanations if you feel out of the loop! :thumbsup:

We’re a group of approx. a half dozen to a dozen people, either posting very very quickly in a span of a few hours or barely anything for a few days. We’ve been in an activity uptick lately and there’s about a year and half of back content, too. If it’s hard to keep up on, not that interesting to read through, or you just have a hard time gelling with the group that's already there, there’s no shame in just lurking or dipping out if you need to.

We also talk a lot about Psychonauts OCs, so anticipate that.

#wildcard au #wildcard hcs

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lauraluna98 · 3 years

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Why Little Witch Academia didn’t need a new season

A thing that I find pretty common among the great majority of the LWA fandom is how most persons want so much a whole new season for the anime even with the ending that was more likely a conclusion ending than a cliffhanger to another season or more adventures

To be honest when I firstly entered into the LWA fandom I was thinking that this wish for another season was more like a meme or something because of a ending like that, why did people want so much about a new season? But I’m not going to say about that because I already know the reasons most people want

Here we are with 14 reasons why there’s no need for a new season and I’m open to see if someone has a answer to that and why is better to just leave the show the way it was

1- The ending is already a conclusion

I have already said about that but here I am to say it again just to clarify this. The ending was something that put a conclusion to everything that was a “problem” on LWA World plot, they solve everything, like the tension among witches and politicians, the humans starting to think that magic is cool, the “Spirit bomb” like kinda of power which beat the main threat and everyone sees that, now the whole problem with people who doesn’t believe in magic is solved on the anime

2- The show is written to be simple

A thing that I find a lot when people say that they need a new season is that the World of LWA is very complex and well build… And well, they’re right, but that doesn’t mean they would have a proper writing to be a completely masterpiece for a lot of seasons, the intention is only to be about Akko fulfilling her dream and this part is already done, remember that this is a Studio Trigger anime, the writers there aren’t that good and most of the animes have the “Don’t give up” message and is written around that

3- Its a waste of time and money

This isn’t a secret to anyone that LWA has one of the most beautiful and well made animations in the world and its all handmade, now imagine to do a whole season with 24 episodes like the one we already have just think ho w much frames they would take to make with the same level they did with the anime and how much time and money they needed to bring just to pay the animators just to make a whole new season for an anime that already have a proper ending just because some fans wanted. Animations tend to have around 30 frames per second, now imagine a 22 minutes episode

By the math we have 30 x 60 x 22 = 39600 frames for each episode and if we multiply by 24 episodes we have an 950400 frames anime

Imagine doing almost a million frames of a concluded anime that has a pretty solid story because the fans want while they could use all the time and money to focus on other shows and even release one that is as good as the show you love so much

4- They need to change the ending

Nice now they want to have a new season, but here we are, how they need to keep the plot keep going, they have a completely “it’s everything fine and done” ending, a conclusive final to the series, with all of the things solved, they would need to bring something to the plot happen without being forced or nonsense and even more complicated than that. Is that they needed to maintain with the same simple written and the whole message of “Don’t give up on your dreams” and the whole motivational writing, they would need to change what happened to the ending to bring a reason to the plot to happen

5- You want Diakko

I’m a Diakko shipper myself and I know pretty much that the LWA fandom is about Diakko and Diakko is the thing in LWA fandom being what it is and I know that the fandom want a new season to the Diakko happen

And don’t say “No, no you’re wrong we don’t want the romance we want just the new season”

Don’t be an Hypocryte, you guys want the Diakko a lot and what if the season comes out you guys are going to post parts without context saying “OMFG DIAKKO EZ REAL LOOK HOW THEY ARE GAY” like the Diakko already do with the Official arts without knowing that Official art ≠ Canon

And I pretty much know that what if came out people would complain saying “NOOO THE DIAKKO ISN’T HAPPENING THIS SEASON IS TRASH AY WANT ANOTHER” and I pretty much know that the Diakko is gonna be a huge queerbait if the show have another season, they would tease a lot and in the end they would simple “Screw you we don’t want romance” The producer has already stated that they don’t want romance

So don’t have the hope that Diakko will be canon, is sad to say that but is the true, at least isn’t another season of queerbaiting

6- “But Akko story is finished and they want to explore other characters like Amanda or Diana”

No they won’t going to explore Diana and Amanda story, since both already have their time to be developed and to be honest LWA is Akko even tho she’s not that well written character, LWA is about her, she’s the main character and the one who make the plot happen, like everyone changed because of Akko and that’s it, Akko is the main character and they aren’t going to simple put Diana or Amanda as the main characters even if they are more liked than Akko sometimes, they didn’t have the weight and aren’t as addicting as Akko and I’m saying that being a 100% Diana stan

“But the director and the producer said that on a interview in the past”

Yeah and a interview confirms that Akko is lesbian too

Oh for the nine lesbian witches, I need to say that you guys are picking a interview and putting out of the context to just being a reason to be right into a discussion even tho the context could be another. And I pretty much know that they could say that to be more like a concept idea rather than really making a second season focused on Diana or Amanda

For Amanda we have only that manga story about their parents and she wanting to be expelled from Luna Nova since she hates magic, but then she starts to like the magic because of Akko

For Diana we have more and most things are already done for her to the point of even Daryl being less asshole with her, but we mostly could have an story about her childhood and how she overcome her nerf (plus giving Bernadette an husband ewww), how did Daryl side of the family start to hate Bernadette’s side since is already shown that Daryl didn’t care about Bernadette (she simply sell everything that Bernadette want to keep) and she simply let their daughter and even her bully Diana for liking Chariot, but even that we don’t have a proper longer story, this is a story that could fit well on an 50min OVA, nothing more than that.

So we have that Akko story is already over so a new season isn’t needed to happen

7- The nine witches and Chariot’s past

This is another thing I’ve seen some persons saying that there’s some things that they could well develop like the nine witches and Chariot’s past

And I’m going to be clear here

Do they need?

Are you guys going to watch it?

They could fit the whole Chariot’s past with a 53 minute OVA

The Nine witches they could fit on a OVA or even with an 9/10 episode season but how did they would develop a story about them? They only have Woodward and Beatrix (and maybe Jennifer) the other seven (or six) are unknown they didn’t think to give names to her they only think to put hats on the headmistress room and just to mention that there’s nine witches who founded Luna Nova

And I don’t think that would be as addicting to watch with the fans as an new season that would be a sequel with Diakko queerbait (I would love to see it)

Just see the LWA fanfcitions

Mostly are just Diakko, you can count on your fingers on how much LWA fics are made about Chariot’s past and the nine witches together, even the kudos could be counted on the fingers and even that fics are some of them written with that both concepts being the main story and even when they put that being the main plot you could simply count that with just one hand

So yeah would be a waste of time and money doing things about the nines and Chariot if nobody was going to see it and even if they see this isn’t gonna give any profit to the show

And I say it again

Did it was needed?

LWA is about the whole journey about Akko becoming a witch like Chariot and is written to be about that even with the whole complex universe with a lot of concepts.

8- We could get Gainax’d

Well before it was Studio Trigger it was Gainax

We all know that

And we could simple get trolled in the whole anime

Or with a worst ending (than the one we already have)

Or with a completely Queerbait get trolled

making everyone straight, Diana have a boyfriend which was Thomas from the OVA appearing again, giving shitty generic episodes (like beaches and hot springs and I need to say that a hot spring episode could kill Trans headcanons? Making all characters explicit Cis), Akko and Andrew are together (for the happiness of the Ankko fandom), all that in the ending of LWA, or even killing everyone at the ending, etc

Gainax/Trigger isn’t good at ending of their shows (just see how they rushed to finish LWA plot) and LWA is the least worst ending

9- Manga and light novel are out of question

Nobody was going to buy a expensive light novel which came out only in Japan (and maybe in English) or a Manga because this is a Trigger show, Trigger shows are made to be only anime and the Manga is made by other creators based on the original one, so they are official but not canon (or canon in their continuity)

And why pay a mangaka to do an alternative story which the fans aren’t going to consider canon ?

10- Fanfiction

This is simple, you guys want a new season? Go read it

Made by fans

Fanfictions aren’t only NSFW shit with all that kinda of things that make the people reject the humanity and is gross forbidden to the society

Fanfictions are fanmade stories

And isn’t that hard to find one with a solid plot and a well developed story than the original LWA show

This isn’t hard to find and there’s even some AU’s which explore more than just the original universe like ones that they made with no magic at all, some about the past, some even longer than the whole bible (like mine), fixing the plot holes or even making the characters more human, well developed and likeable (like Hannah). Or even a more mature plot where the characters say curse worlds talk about more mature stuff where they can’t in the original or even about LGBT themes more deeply than just teasing

“Oh but I would prefer an official than a fanmade story would feel better”

Well you have your preferences

But I’m here to also give just one advice, the Official plot wouldn’t be as good as fanmade plot since the screenwriter has passed out and even they hire one to be on her place it still isn’t gonna be as good as the original show or fanmade plot. Studio Trigger shows aren’t knowing for writing but for their good animation

Just stop with your prejudice against fanfiction think that is only about teenagers writing about smut, because this is just stereotype about fanfictions while there’s some written by adults and even teenagers who can give a proper plot even better than the original show and think even more that they are doing that for free, you’re getting a book with awesome things of your show plus an awesome story where the writer put their commitment, time and effort to do it (I’m writer myself and I take like 6/7 hours a day to write a chapter of my stories to reach the word count and keep the daily updates)

11- Another shows and proper game adaptations are better

Just leave the anime alone and want more shows with this kinda of stuff or even a proper game adaptation (not that crappy Chamber of Time game), with a better gameplay, more addicting to play and stuff like that

A proper game would be very welcoming

They already have an awesome world to develop a game if they hire a proper team to make it they could do a proper game not that early ps2 era graphics crappy RPG

12- An OVA or an Extra Episode is better than a whole season

This contradict a little about my arguments but I’m going to say that is better to just do an OVA or an Extra special episode rather than a 10+ episode season or even a 25 episode season like the original part

Even tho would be just a generic and relaxed special since there’s nothing more to develop in plot after the ending rather than a Slice of Life special

13- This will create the “At least we have it” type of fan

If the season isn’t as good as the original, some people will complain and say that isn’t as bad and at least we have it

And to be honest I hate that type of fan

Because they like every single crap made by the corporation but not for real, they just lie saying that is great and at least we have it some even contradict to the point “oh its bad but at least we have it and look these separated moment is good and compensate the shit the rest of the show is

Or if the show is average they will say everything to make everyone think that is a masterpiece

And this type of fan is what the creators love because they could make the anime being crappy written and there still persons who would still give money and will like and some of them would say to the others which complained saying is bad that isn’t bad as they say.

14- Wouldn’t be that good

This is the final argument I have and I say that would be just average or just bad or simply not as good as the original one

They don’t have the plot to continue the story and keep going

So will be a forced plot to make a reason to the story happen

With an Generic villain with an generic reason to be evil

And Now I finish with 14 reasons why LWA didn’t need a new season and is just better to leave the show alone

#LWA #LWA JP #LWA 2nd season #New season #LWA New season #akko kagari #Diakko #Little Witch Academia #Little Witch Academia new season #3rd season #2nd season #LWA OVA #LWA discussion

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teledild0nix · 3 years

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Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

#sherlock stuff #ask games #apliddell #if y'all wanna send me asks about names for a house #or anything else i mentioned here #they would be welcome

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kareofbears · 3 years

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persona 5 strikers thoughts and feelings

This is going to be a long post. Like, the type of post you’d only really have time to read when you’re trying to sleep but you’re not ready to be unconscious yet so you’re just looking for something to do to spend your time with minimal effort.

So in 2018, a masterpiece was born into the world: Into the Spider-verse was released and it was amazing—it’s honestly the best spiderman movie we have without a doubt, and it’ll be very far into the future before Spider-verse is beaten as the best spiderman movie. Them’s the facts. Then in 2019, Spider-man: Far From Home was dropped. It’s a great movie! Great characters, great continuation of who these characters are and works fantastic as a continuation of a story. It’s really hard trying to take the torch of a previous movie (or in Marvel’s case, juggling twenty something movies) and come up with a new movie that both works on its own, as well as being the next step in this series of films. Thus, with that idea in mind, I think it’s kind of unfair to judge into the spiderverse and far from home, because these are two movies with two completely different objectives in mind.

Okay, so this is still a persona 5 strikers post, I promise, but the idea is the same: Persona 5 could basically do whatever it wanted—new story, new characters, new everything, and it’s just plain old awesome. However, Persona 5 strikers did not have that sort of freedom. It was bound to the original game, and it had its own rules and stuff it had to keep intact, characters they had to work with, and on top of that, it had to justify its existence as a sequel (lets pretend money doesnt exist lmfao).

SO, the big question is: did it do that? Did it justify its existence?

And my answer: holy fuck did it ever do that

I came into this game knowing the extreme bare minimum. I knew there was someone named Sophia, and i knew there was roadtrip, and i knew there were Personas. That’s my knowledge of it before i played it on the Switch. I should also clarify like, early on, that i was not expecting anything from this game. At all. I was the world’s biggest cynic of this game—if you scroll down my p5s tag far enough, youll just see me complaining about a game that hasn’t even come out yet. I was fully expecting to have this be a Waifu show, and any male character that isn’t Akira to just be shoved aside like some kind of nerd in a high school hallway, and i have never been more pleased to be wrong. In fact, i actually owe it an apology, because of how fucking rude i was for no reason!!! Because this game deserves everything to be honest.

Persona 5 strikers is, frankly, insane. Insane in the sense that it got to pull shit off that just would never have existed in the original game, because the original game is scared. It had to be as impressive as possible and garner as much attention as possible. Strikers does not have that problem—every single person who bought that game does not need to be convinced that persona 5 is a good game. They already played it. That means Atlus can just fuck around and have a good time, and man did they have a good time. There’s still scenes that still shock me if i think about it too hard, because i’m used to atlus having to follow this sort of rule set when it comes to persona 5 (or any of the main games im assuming, but i havent played them.) And on top of that, there’s still shit that’s Atlus Trademarked Branded in a good way. The style of story of story telling, and revealing the mystery that is so integral to what p5 is, is still there.

So, to make this even a little bit comprehensible, i will make a list!

First of all, What is this game?

In short, this game is an OVA of an anime. It’s bonus side content that has one thing in mind: to showcase these lovable characters more by putting them in fun situations. That’s it, and it is just phenomenal. That was the main point of, i’d say, like forty hours of the game. It’s just fun times with fun characters.

But to get deeper of what i think is happening, or what they were thinking during the development, is that this is a second opportunity. Persona 5 (as we all know) had a lot of problems, and we were not quiet about those problems. We yelled it all out, made posts, made complaints on every social media platform ever. And Atlus heard all of them, and Strikers is a way to mitigate those mistakes. Aside from being a fun OVA, Strikers also works to be a deeper exploration of these characters—more specifically, the characters that did not receive much in the original game. Creating this sequel is having the ability to redo what they felt (or to be more specific, we felt) in the original game while adding new ones. I will get to that in a second.

The format of the game

Absolutely brilliant to throw them on a road trip. P5V already forced us to experience Shibuya for 200+ hours, and im so glad that they didn’t do that again. Going from town to town, making us experience these new places alongside our favorite characters is so good, and it just makes sense. It’s fun, it’s lighthearted, and it’s actually shockingly good. But one thing i do want to talk about early on is the way the story unfolds and the villains that they use, and what they do with it because it’s very interesting.

So as we explore japan and stuff, we encounter jails, and with those jails comes an antagonist. This antagonist works to be a parallel to one of our characters. That character will find it in their hearts to feel bad for the antagonist, because the antagonist could have been them had the original game not happen. At first I thought all of the thieves were gonna get an antagonist, and i was really hyped for the ryuji one. And then came to hour forty of the game where i realized “yeah that’s not gonna happen. There’s just not enough time.” And i was right, and the game ended. But i am not salty at all, honestly, because the people who got a direct antagonist were: Ann, Yusuke, and Haru. (we wont count zen and sophie).

Is there a trend??? Yes. these are all characters in the original game that have received the worst treatment by atlus. The three of them are basically cast aside the minute they finished their original arc, and its horrible! BUT that’s why this is the path that atlus chose for them—to give them more depth, and screentime, and a way to show their inner self. That isn’t to say that the ones who aren’t those three (makoto, futaba, mona, akira, ryuji) didn’t get anything. Futaba still has her thing at the end with ichinose, and she was very prevalent and animated during the rest of the game. Mona and Akira have to be a focal points, that’s just the nature of the game. The other two though, I will talk about in depth in a second.

Makoto

Y’all i poke fun at shumako fans sometimes cause its kind of easy and fun, but i honestly love makoto. In my very first playthrough of p5 (my first ever jrpg game, first persona game, i had no idea what i was doing), i had only maxed out two characters: ryuji and makoto. And i know she had a lot of screentime and love in the original game which is great, but i truly felt like she was dissed in this game. Her only roles were

A driver

Someone to tell them “we don’t have a choice. Let’s keep going and see where this takes us.” (seriously, if you replay this game, you will see how much she does this)

Idk, i just wish she had more to do, especially compared to how much love they gave the other characters.

But let’s talk about some of the new characters!

Zenkichi

Damn you atlus. Damn you and your insistence at bringing in cop characters. I was fully on board with hating zenkichi, i was fucking ready for it. I was convinced that there was nothing they could do convince to like zenkichi. I was immune to their copaganda.

And then i ended up loving him, which makes me sad a little bit. I didn’t realize how desperate i was to have an adult who has a persona. Someone who wants the world to change just as much as they do, while still having that aspect of them that makes them adult. Like??? As someone who is technically an adult, its a breath of fresh air. An adult. Who fights. For justice. Using a persona. And god i love akane so much, and her obsession with the thieves (that scene is probably in my top ten fave scenes of the game). Also what i loved about zenkichi is that he fucking hates the cops!! He hates the system of the cops!! And thats why i actually really started to love him!! Because i thought it was atlus saying that the systematic problem of the police cannot be solved by one person, and zenkichi threw away his badge. I actually cried at that part!!

But then he became a cop again, and i was just :/ but as a character, i really love him to bits and would love to do a study on him, or at least use him as an outside pov. But! i absolutely love his persona, since im a les miserables fan hehe

Sophia

she’s probably my favorite new aspect of the game. I was ready to not like her—again, i just suck like that, lmfao—and when i saw her, i was scared that she was just another waifu. I mean, she was very cute after all. But then as the game went on, i thought she was a little too cute. And even further into the game, i finally slapped myself in the face and realized oh my god shes not a waifu. Shes a sister.

That blew my mind, im ngl to you. A female character that isn’t supposed to be romanced? By jove, what a miracle!

And she…is an amazing character. Im sorry, i just love her so much. I love her so much that she probably ranks as my fifth or sixth favorite character which is surprising even to me. Everything about her is delightful and invigorating. She’s funny??? Her comedic timing is amazing, and she has such chemistry with the rest of the team. She’s actually useful to the plot, and while her character design is a little too on the nose for me in terms of cuteness (i mean, good god she’s wearing oversized sweater to show how cute and tiny she is, and her hair has literal hearts in it), she is absolutely lovable.

But what i actually really wanna gush about for a second is sophia at the last stage of the game. You get the idea, i dont really like to get excited over things, so at this point i figured that there was nothing this game could do to shock me.

And then sophia had a persona awakening.

Like. holy fuck did i yell. I didnt realize what was happening until the music had already kicked in. and its just so fucking smart!!! Sophia??? The ai?? With no heart?? gOT A PERSONA???? AWAKENING??? BECAUSE SHE LEARNED WHAT THE HEART IS AND THE PASSION THAT YOU NEED IN ORDER TO GET A PERSONA??? I started crying honestly, because it was just so smart. And looking back on it now, its obvious!! Of course it would lead to this, it only made sense that the culmination of her character arc leads to her getting a persona, nothing else would have been as good. Also, her voice actor is just amazing?? When she was talking to ichinose at the end, i actually got incredibly emotional because of the line reads. Its just so spot on and it really captures the essence of sophia.

Muah. five stars Atlus. You got me.

Ryuji <3!!!!

Oh man. Oh boy. Okay. so where do i start.

Yall know i love him. Hes probably my favorite fictional male character of all time, and he is the one i was the absolute most cynical about in this game. I was expecting literally nothing. Nothing. Like. nothing. I thought he was just gonna keep being used as a joke, or a gag, and he’s gonna be super horny all the time for the other girls and it was gonna make me mad and there was gonna be some insane homophobic/queerphobic jokes in every other scene and i know i was being unfair, but i cant help it.

And then i played the first two hours of the game, and i cried the entire time. Because ryuji has never been better than he is in this game. Its crazy.

The ryuji in persona 5 strikers is who ryuji should have been/how he should have been treated this entire time. From the actual funny jokes (for example, the gold bar joke + his reaction to it in the beginning of the game), defending his female friends instead of being the one people need to defend from (natsume arc), and the fact that he was the one to be there with morgana and akira in the very beginning of the game. Its such a small thing that they didnt even need to do, but it was such an integral part of the original game for me, that i just was convinced that nothing like this was going to happen. But then it happened. Its just small stuff like that that could have been overlooked but it wasn’t because this game? Persona 5 strikers? Fucking loves ryuji.

The actual respect they gave this boy is insane and i wasn't ready for it. Like, they gave the shujin trio lunch, they gave the little charm of the katana when they were in natsume’s jail, and, in my opinion this is the second-best thing that they could have given ryuji is sophia. Ryuji and sophia are the pinnacle of a brother & sister bonding relationship in the game that isn’t akira & futaba. And its really prevalent too?? Small stuff from the beginning of the game (pulling her out of a jail, calling her shorty), but then you have the iconic “shut the fuck up” scene, and that scene was so well characterized and written and voice acted, that somehow him saying “fuck” was the least exciting part of that scene to me. Ryuji is an older brother to her, like its undoubtable, and its only further cemented at the end of the game where Ryuji helps out ichinose because he knows how much sophia cares about her. This game. Love ryuji. And i love. This game.

You know what else i love? Akiryu.

Guys. i was fully prepared to starve in terms of akiryu. But theres just. So much of it. I wont get too deep into it, because i think this aspect of the game for me still needs marinate a little bit. Like, what was that last shot when EMMA died and Ryuji walked to approach Akira so they could relish in their victory together?? And the smile from both of them??? What the fuck. That was amazing. Also Joker being saved by Ryuji when he was about to fall from the cliff to save sophia??? WHAT. The LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN? WHAT. anyway. If theres anything i want to keep for myself in my own brain, its the akiryu aspect of this game, so i wont talk too much about that part of things (instead, itll probably manifest in fic lmfaooo).

Sure, there’s tidbits of stuff i dont like that they gave ryuji: sexualizing ann in that one cut scene and making him touch the jails even though it hurts, and i recognize those and frown at them, but for the most part, i am blown away with how they treated him.

Basically, Ryuji has never been better. From the opening of the game with him being the first text message and the one to sling his arm around akira, to the very last cut scene where it was ryuji wordlessly leaving because he’s so confident that they would never be separated for long, this game adores Ryuji and i am so so happy to say that.

The Royal aspect of things

Yeah, i had to talk about this, but itll be a short thing i just wanted to point out. Because the last part of this game...is persona 5 royal. Which is curious. Like taking reality and giving that power to someone else so you dont have to experience suffering anymore? And even like, the final section just looked a lot like the top half of maruki’s palace?? And whats even crazier is that we had a boss fight with sophia, just like how we had a boss fight with sumire? Royal and Strikers have like, the same thesis statement. It’s kind of uncanny.It’s interesting, it’s like atlus came up with these two ideas, and then just decided they liked both of them so much that they just did it twice. I don’t mind though—actually, in terms of how the last Palace/Jails go, i probably like them both about equally.

Though i did love the final battle in this one more than i did in royal. Splitting into teams?? Thats cool as fuck, and really innovative and i didnt see it coming. It also kicked my ass. A lot.

Now for the last stretch: the small stuff!

The music — bomb as fuck. In my heart, Daredevil is ranked the same as Rivers. Axe to grind is also amazing, but Daredevil owns me

Akechi — i really debated whether or not to talk about him, but i figured a bullet point should be enough. Im really shocked that he wasnt in this at all. Like not even a name drop. If this is an OVA, and the point of the game is to please the fans, and akechi is arguably the fan favorite character, i was really ready for something. But there was nothing, except for the pancake hallway if that even counts as a reference. Thats it. Thats all i wanted to say about him.

The humour — FUCKING HILARIOUS im convinced that in my fifty hour playtime, five of that is dedicated to me laughing and unable to continue the game

Akira — so much personality! His lines of dialogue are crazy sometimes (like. Whats up with him saying Ryuji has ‘nice abs’ when they were in bath? Im crazy and even i dont know what the fuck that could mean)

Battle system — oh my god i almost forgot to talk about this. I love it! I kind of miss the turn based aspect just because i found it very comforting for some reason, but this hack and slash style of gameplay is so invigorating because i do feel like it justifies shit like the baton pass and huge attacks. This battle system fully encompases how the Phantom Thieves are supposed to fight, you know what i mean?

Anyway, thats my thoughts on strikers. Loved it. Amazing. 9.3/10, wouldve been higher but Konoe’s Jail almost bored me to death. Also im a monster and i didnt do any requests that isn’t a fun one, teehee. As if i play persona 5 for the persona aspect of things.

#cant believe im done #but you know what?#i was actually at peace when i finished it #so i consider that a good healty thing #p5s #alex plays p5s #mine #p5 #my moon and stars #the leader and his right hand man

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anathewierdo · 4 years

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Call of the Ocean Chapter 15: Stay Down

Pairing: CEO!Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Mermaid!Reader

Word count: 6903

Chapter summary: Thasman knows he has made a mistake yet he still doesn’t trust the green-eyed human. And well, it’s like Benny said: they just need to fight the tension off... But, fighting doesn’t mean everything gets solved.

Series summary: CEO of Winchester Auto Dean Winchester has had enough of the office life. With his father keeping him from what he wants to do, which is work on the plant floor, Dean decides to leave for a quiet life. In Matagorda, Texas, he finds something he never thought he would, a chance encounter with a mythical creature.

Call of the Ocean Masterlist

A/N: This is the chapter that has it all (well, almost all). I really think you guys will like it. This series is a collaboration with @flamencodiva . Text dividers were made by the amazing @talesmaniac89

Next chapter will be posted on Wednesday, October 7 :D

Y/N sat in silence as she watched Thasman pace in front of her. It was the end of the day and Thasman had dreaded coming home. He could only imagine what the human had told Y/N.

“Princess,” Thasman began but paused when Y/N held up her hand.

“Ffa antorum, silence,” (I want) Y/N spoke with a harsh tone. “Gahfooruu,” (Anger) She whispered. “I feel gahfooruu, Thasman.”

“Y/N/N, I can explain.”

“And I said be quiet!” she bellowed. She had never had to use her royal voice before. It pained her that she had to use it on her friend. “What were you thinking? How could you tell him about what will happen between us when we return home? Em dal (are you) mad?” She cried. She wondered if Thasman was never going to keep his promise to her.

“I don’t know what you see in that hyuuman,” Thasman grumbled. “He doesn’t know our ways and when he finds out what we really are…” he let out a scoff. “He will not be like Ellen. I can feel it deep inside me Y/N. He will abandon you when he finds the truth.”

“Tala mortum lli,” She whispered.

Thasman’s eyes went wide at what she said but he couldn’t believe it. “Y/N what did you just say? I don’t think I heard you correctly”

“Tala mortum lli,” she repeated louder as tears flowed down her cheeks. “I love him Thasman. I can feel it in my soul. Since I first saw him on the shore, and in my dreams.”

“Your dreams?” Thasman raised an eyebrow at her. “You dreamt of him? Y/N he is a hyuuman! He will never accept what we are.”

“Ellen did,” Y/N argued.

“Ellen is different,” Thasman dismissed. “She is more understanding.”

Y/N stood and shook her head, “I know what I feel Thasman and…” she took in a deep breath. “to hisna rendi-to fan sesmuna.” (I am in love with a human).

Thasman’s attention snapped back to her, giving her a sad look. “Y/N,” he lamented as he stood in front of her. “We are still leaving…”

“I know,” she whispered. “I know that nothing can ever come from it.” Y/N seemed to be battling with herself and Thasman could see it. “I will stay away from him.”

“Like he said,” Thasman tried to reason, “You could at least get to know him these days.”

“No,” Y/N grumbled. “I need to know my place, Thasman. You’re right.”

The reality of her situation weighed on her. If she continued to be close to Dean, she would hurt him. She couldn’t live with herself if she broke his heart.

“I will stay away from the sesuma.” (Human) She avoided his gaze as she made her way to her room, leaving Thasman to watch her walk away.

Ellen stepped out from the hallway. She had heard everything that happened. While she didn’t understand the mermish, she could tell from their body language what had transpired.

“Are you really that dense?” Ellen crossed her arms as she looked at Thasman.

“I only want what’s best for her, Ellen.” Thasman defended. “You humans don’t understand. You saw what happened to her after only three days. Ellen, we do not belong here. We cannot live here permanently.”

“I know,” Ellen acknowledged. “But are you willing to risk her happiness? You should see how she lights up with Dean. He is not a bad guy Thasman. You don’t know what he would think if he knew.”

“We don’t know how he would react, Ellen,” Thasman took in a deep breath and licked his lips. “My first priority is to protect the princess. I know she likes him. I can see it but… he isn’t worthy of her, Ellen.” Thasman argued. “I have to think about what is good for the princess and if she gets close not only will it hurt Dean… it would break Y/N’s heart too.”

“Thasman,” Ellen placed a hand on his shoulder. “If you keep being overprotective of Y/N,” she gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “All you’re going to do is push her away and make her sad.” She cautioned.

“I know… I’m going to settle this. I’m going to talk to him, and then Y/N can enjoy the rest of the trip with him or I don’t know.” he rambled. “Do not wait up for me, Ellen. If Y/N asks, I went for a walk. Or a swim in the ocean.”

“Hmmm-mmm” Ellen hummed as she looked at the merman. “This walk wouldn’t happen to involve a certain human you don’t trust, would it?”

“If this turns out the way I hope,” he started, “he won’t have to worry about me any longer.”

“Just don’t cause too much trouble,” Ellen sighed. “I’m going to go talk to Y/N. See if I can cheer her up.”

“Good luck,” he kissed her cheek as he turned towards the door.

Ellen watched as he walked out of the house. Looking up the stairs she couldn’t help but feel a bit nostalgic. With her daughter, Jo being away at college, trying to cheer up Y/N brought back these memories. As Ellen neared Y/N’s room, her heart broke slightly. She could hear the familiar sounds of crying through the door. Lifting her fist she gave the door a gentle knock.

“Y/N,” she called. “It’s Ellen, can I come in?”

“Yes,” Y/N’s voice croaked as she let out a small sniffle.

Ellen frowned at how Y/N was curled onto the bed. Her back was to the door and her shoulders were shaking as she sobbed softly. Ellen climbed onto the bed and held on to Y/N as she cried.

“Shhh,” she whispered. “It’s going to be all right darlin.”

“It’s not.” Y/N choked in between sobs.

“Darlin’,” Ellen sighed holding on tightly to Y/N as she ran her fingers through the mermaid’s hair. “You just have to have faith that things will work out.”

“I don’t want anything bad to happen,” Y/N admitted. “What if they fight and they both get hurt?”

“You have to let boys just be boys sometimes hun,” Ellen smiled. “I know you like Dean and I think you should give yourself a very good chance at some happiness.” Ellen urned Y/N so that she could wipe away the tears. “Besides, I think Dean really likes you. And he knows that he can’t keep you.” Ellen gave a sad sigh. “But I bet you anything he will try to make you as happy as possible. Something you can hold on to.”

“You really think so?” Y/N sniffled.

“I know so, hun. Dean Campbell is a good man.” Ellen let out a chuckle and smiled.

“Ellen, can you just hold me please?” Y/N whispered. “I just think I need a hug and time.”

“Of course, baby. I’m here. I gotcha.” Ellen whispered as she held on tightly to Y/N.

Both women stayed in silence as Y/N let out everything she was feeling. Ellen hoped that whatever Thasman was up to would help rather than hurt.

--------------------------------------------

Dean stood on his porch overlooking the beach as he held the phone to his ear.

“Garth,” He sighed for what seemed like the millionth time. “I understand that. I do.” He took in a deep breath. “I just need you to get down here, assess the building and tell me what the damage is. I need to start ASAP!”

“You have terrible timing, mi amigo. I’ll check if Bess is on board and I’ll call you back if we can get a couple of tickets to fly as near as we can. I can’t promise you anything, buddy, but I will check, alright?”

“Yeah,” Dean muttered as he noticed Thasman making his way towards the beach. “I’ll have Benny send you the information and the specs of the place. I have something I gotta do.”

Dean hung up his phone before Garth could answer him and made his way to the beach. Dean wasn’t sure what Thasman had wanted but whatever it was, he hoped it would mean that Thasman would back off with Y/N.

Dean noticed he purposely avoided the water, moving further away from it when the waves would crash on the sand, which seemed odd to him. Thasman glanced back every now and then, not to look at Dean, but to assess how much distance he had put between them and their houses.

Eventually, Thasman stopped at a high and dry spot on the beach.

“I thought I would have some time to myself before you would arrive,” he commented.

“Want to take a moment before we start whatever the fuck we’re gonna do here?” Dean spat as he crossed his arms glaring at the merman. “No matter what you say, or what you do,” he pointed at Thasman. “I‘m not scared of you and I’m not going to let you treat Y/N like a prisoner.”

Thasman hummed and nodded, “Back home, being a guard is one of the most important jobs. Keeping Y/N safe is my priority.” he shrugged. “I’ve been trying to keep her safe for so long, I have forgotten that too much protection can be… suffocating.”

“That’s not an excuse.” Dean huffed.

“It’s not.” Thasman agreed. “I also cannot understand how you are so stubborn. We’re leaving.” he reminded Dean. “That is a fact. And it will most likely be a long time before we can come here once more. Why do you want to put Y/N and yourself through that?”

“I--” Dean’s throat was suddenly dry at what Thasman was saying. He closed his eyes before deciding on his next choice of words. “I just want to make sure she has good memories. I’m not asking anything more than being her friend--” He felt his own heart break at the words that he was about to say. “I know she will never be with me in the long run. But that doesn’t mean I can’t treat her the way she deserves to be treated. With respect, kindness, and a chance to make up her own mind.”

“She has, Dean. She likes you. Which will only cause her pain when we have to leave. She will yearn even more for something neither of us can have: staying here.”

Dean shook his head, “So you would rather take away her happiness now than let her feel it and have a happy memory?”

“What is it with you?” The merman shook his head, smiling incredulously. “Did you not listen to a word I said back at Bobby’s house? Can you not understand my way of speaking your language?”

“I don’t care!” Dean shouted. “And you have a crappy concept of how English works because you aren’t listening to me either!”

“So that is what this dialect is called,” Thasman muttered to himself, then raised his head and voice towards Dean again. “I have been listening, Jellyfish. Yet you are the one who lost control when you found out what is going to happen when we leave. You are smitten, you want to be by my friend’s side, knowing that it will not last… ”

“I don’t quite agree with how you are okay with what happens to your ‘friend’,” Dean grumbled. “And another thing, I AM NOT A JELLYFISH!” he growled. “If anyone is a jellyfish here,” he pointed at Thasman. “It’s you.” Dean took a step towards Thasman. “I really don’t give a crap about you or your tradition or the way you are going to marry Y/N and not even try to do something about it if you win your precious tournament!”

Dean had wondered if the man considered using the fact that he won to set Y/N free. Had it even occurred to him? Dean took another step towards Thasman not backing down.

“And maybe I’m exactly what Y/N needs,” Dean said as he smirked. “You don’t look like you could even do what you were trained to do.”

At that, Thasman gained a menacing look in his eyes and took out a weird looking blade from his back. Dean tensed at the sudden upper hand the other man had gained. Thasman stretched his arm to the side, then threw away the dagger.

“Do all humans speak so carelessly?” he asked. “If you think you can take me down, then go ahead.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at Thasman, “Did you just say ‘Do all humans?’ What are you an alien?” Dean asked as he and Thasman began to circle each other.

“Not important.” Thasman dismissed. “You wanna go first or do I get the honor?”

Dean let out a growl as he tackled Thasman to the ground. Both men rolled down the small sandy hill before coming to a stop at the bottom with Dean on top. Reeling his fist back, Dean punched Thasman square in the jaw over and over again.

He grunted at each blow, but didn’t seem to be in much pain from them. Thasman took hold of his arms and threw Dean off of him. He landed a kick on Dean’s side, then gave back the blows on his face. Dean could feel the blood gushing from his broken nose. But it didn’t stop him from fighting back. He dodged at the next punch and landed a blow to Thasman’s stomach.

Thasman responded with a hook that sent him back down on his ass.

“Stay down, Dean,” he warned.

“Fat chance, dick!” Dean growled as he tackled Thasman again.

Dean could feel a small wave of dizziness, but he ignored it. He threw more punches at Thasman again and let out a groan when the man flipped him over onto his back.

“I’m telling you, stay down.” Thasman repeated.

“No,” Dean spat. “I am not going to give up. I am going to keep fighting. I am not going to let you just dim any light that Y/N has in her.”

“Huh.” Thasman nodded. “Then get up, jellyfish.” he challenged.

Dean pushed himself up and stumbled a bit. “I am not a jellyfish, you asshole!” Dean could feel his eye begin to swell shut. But it didn’t stop him from putting his hands up ready to strike.

“See, being with Y/N,” Thasman began, “is going to feel like this. A lot. She is a force of the ocean: Uncontainable. And you will barely be able to keep up with it, jellyfish. Most of the time you will feel lost or marveled at her.” Thasman shook his head. “But that’s just the ocean, right? There is so much you don’t know about it, and you will either be amazed or terrified at what you find.” He put his hands down and stared at the human infront of him. “You think you can handle that, Dean?”

Dean took a step towards Thasman, “If you’re trying to scare me into giving up on Y/N,” he chuckled. “It’s not going to work.” Dean licked his lips. “You can call me jellyfish all you want. But I am not going to give up on being her friend or making her happy.”

“What will happen when we come back and for some reason you are not here, or you do not want to see her anymore?” Thasman inquired as he opened and closed his mouth. “What will happen if you hurt her?”

“You guys come back,” Dean let out a pained laugh. “You would be married, Thasman,” He reminded the man. “I would still be here because I have a business to run. What would hurt me, is seeing her forced to be in a loveless marriage. And I don’t mean that you don’t love her.” Dean clarified. “There is a big difference between friendship-love, and spending-the-rest-of-your-life-with-a-person-love.” Dean pulled out the ring he had bought for Cassie. “I was ready to marry someone only to find out they betrayed me.”

Dean shook his head at the memory before swallowing the lump in his throat and continuing his story.

“What you are doing to her,” he pointed at Ellen’s house where he knew Y/N was. “Is worse than what Cassie did to me.”

Thasman shook his head, sighing, praying to Poseidon that Ellen and Y/N were right about this man. When Dean launched at him once more, he didn’t bother holding back his strength. He gave another blow to his side, then threw him back down.

“This is your last chance, Dean.” He warned. “Stay down.”

Dean let out a few coughs as he rolled onto his side to push himself up. “No,” was all Dean said as he spat his own blood onto the sand.

“Are you willing to fight for her this much?” he inquired. “You will fight me, knowing now that you do not stand a chance, just to somehow convince me you are what is right for her?”

“I will fight to make sure she has a chance to have a small bit of happiness,” Dean grumbled. He shook the dizziness out of his head, “I don’t claim to be the right guy for her. But the dreams I had about her…” he licked his lips feeling the metallic taste of his blood on his tongue. “I was shocked when I saw her with Ellen and she was real. Why I dreamt about her? I don’t know. But, I felt this pull towards her.”

When the fog in his eyes cleared, Thasman was standing in front of him, wide eyed. He felt proud at the man’s bruises, the evidence that he had at least given a little bit of a fight.

“Dreams, you say?”

“About two weeks ago,” Dean let out a laugh. “It sounds crazy, but I started having these dreams. I first moved in and on my second night I thought I saw something in the water.” he chuckled. “Looked like a purple tail. And then I found this.” he showed Thasman the necklace he found. “Been having dreams about a girl and I can swear it was Y/N.” he frowned at the merman. “But what do you care?”

“Bavverissi Baveras.” (Goddess of the Sea) Thasman gasped.

“Seriously man,” Dean complained as he tried to get up once more. “What kind of language is that?” When he failed, Dean let out a huff in frustration and closed his eyes, holding the necklace tight in his hand. The silence between the two of them spurred on for a few more moments, until he could hear the sound of Thasman’s footsteps as he neared him.

Dean braced himself for another blow and warning, but all that came was a tap on his head. When he opened his eyes, the young man was crouching next to him, offering his hand for him to take.

“Get up,” Thasman said. “You are going to let me tend your wounds, you will go home, and tomorrow, you will take Y/N out again.”

Dean hesitated for a moment, “Why did you change your mind?”

“Back home, my competitors yield before a fight can get too out of hand.” Thasman explained. “They are afraid of being hurt by the time the tournament comes around. You know we are leaving, you know what is coming, and you still will not give up, you stubborn jellyfish,” the man chuckled. “Y/N would be with you no matter what I said or thought, but you just proved yourself. You are a good man, Dean Campbell.”

Dean let out a small chuckle, “So it took you kicking my ass for you to realize that I care about Y/N?”

“No,” Thasman laughed. “That I could see from afar. This was more for me. I had to make sure you were as stubborn as you seemed, jellyfish.” he winked. “Now give me your hand. I brought something with me that will help with your injuries.”

Dean took Thasman’s hand as he let the merman help him up. Thasman made sure the man could stand, then went back up the hill to retrieve the dagger he had taken out. Sooner than later, he was back at Dean’s side, putting Dean’s arm over his shoulder to help him walk. They both walked towards Ellen’s house but Dean held Thasman back.

“Maybe we should head to my house,” he used his head to motion to his house.

“Alright,” Thasman agreed. “You think your friends will try to kill me if they see us like this?”

“Nothing they haven’t seen before,” Dean laughed. “Should have seen when I first met Benny. Beat the living snot out of each other in college.”

“People are very, very weird.” Thasman shook his head as he let out a chuckle. “Let’s go to your dwelling, then.”

Dean let out a laugh and wince as the pain in his ribs hit him. Taking out his keys he opened the door to find Andy and Benny sitting at the dining room table.

“Hey love birds!” He called out with a wince. “I’m home!”

The looks of horror he received when his friends took him in, made him think for a moment that they were staring at a ghost.

“What the fuck happened?” Benny cried as he rushed to Dean and looked at Thasman. “Did you do this to him?”

“Yeah, he did,” Dean chuckled. “Dude packs a punch. And hey, the tension is gone. Thas here and I are good.”

“Is that right?” Benny crossed his arms as he watched Thasman help Dean to sit on one of the chairs. “He looks like he doesn’t have a scratch on him.”

“To be fair,” Thasman laughed. “I have never fought anyone on land. Dean was a good opponent. And I have been fighting and training for years.”

Benny raised an eyebrow at him, “I thought you were from an island? Doesn’t that have land?” the cajun questioned him.

“Guards and soldiers are trained in water, and disputes tend to take place in this strange big tank. We are very close to the ocean. It’s our home, our battleground.” Thasman lied flawlessly.

“I have never heard that before,” Benny shrugged. “It sounds intense. All this to protect Y/N? What does her dad do anyways? He a king or something?”

“I suppose you could say he is a king.” Thasman shrugged.

“He’s a king, king?” Dean asked as Thasman began to tend to Dean’s wounds.

“I’m not sure how much I am allowed to share.” he took out the dagger he’d shown Dean down at the beach and popped open a compartment on the handle. He put a finger in, and took out a green paste. “This will help with almost everything. By tomorrow morning all that will be left are a couple of bruises.”

“It smells awful,” Dean groaned.

“Does it?” The merman raised his eyebrows. “I never even knew it smelled,” he took a big whiff of the paste, and shrugged when he didn’t smell a thing. “I guess I am used to it. Trust me, Dean, I have been using this for years. It works magic on wounds.” He began rubbing the ointment on Deans wounds. “And I do not want to explain to Y/N how the green eyed man got his face smashed and his body bruised.”

“Green-eyed man?” Dean asked with a smirk. “Is that what she calls me?”

“Before we knew your name, yes.” Thasman lifted up Dean’s shirt to assess the wounds on his chest.

“Wow,” he smiled.

“Oh my god,” Andrea gasped at the bruises forming on his chest.

“Hey do we have a spot for Thasman to stay over?” Dean asked as he looked around. “I have a few books I think he can read to help him understand cars.” Dean ignored Andrea’s shocked face as Thasman continued to put the balm on his wounds.

“Dean you need to see a doctor,” Andrea went for the first aid kit in one of the cabinets. She stopped when Thasman shook his head.

“This will suffice,” Thasman assured, rubbing more ointment on Dean’s chest before standing up and applying it to his face. “My people, especially the soldiers, use this for most wounds. Nothing else will be required.”

“Shit it smells worse from up close!” Dean jerked. “You seriously can’t smell this?”

“No. Do you have a bathtub?”

“Yeah, why?”

“This works better when you’re underwater.” He clarified. “Go upstairs, fill the tub, and stay there for an hour or two. Keep your face wet.”

“Does that actually work?” Benny asked skeptically.

“It does.” Thasman promised. “I would not use it if it didn’t work.”

“Well if the doctor says so…” Dean winced as he stood up. “Help me, Benny?”

“Sure, Brother.”

“Take this,” Thasman extended the dagger to Benny. “In case he needs to apply more.”

Dean nodded, wincing again as he and Benny started to make their way upstairs. “Will do.”

When both men were out of sight, Thasman let himself fall on the chair where Dean had been moments earlier. He looked up at the human woman, who had her arms crossed and an insecure look on her face.

“I can leave if you want me to. I don’t want to cause more trouble.”

“No, no. Stay here. Dean will worry if you just leave without saying goodbye.”

“There was another man… Castiel, was he? Where is he?”

“He went out with a girl named Meg.”

“Really? Good for him!”

“Yeah… he will be back by the time Dean gets out of the bathtub, and he’s been staying on the couch, so you’ll probably have to stay on the floor.” Andrea explained apologetically.

“That’s ok.” he nodded. “Can I get a few blankets, at least?”

“Yes, of course. But it is still very early for that. So, tell me, how did you and Y/N get here?”

And that is how Thasman found himself talking to this woman for the next few minutes. He didn’t tell her the entire truth, obviously, just repeated all the lies they had told everyone except Ellen. It turned out to be that Andrea (as the woman introduced herself), was a very nice, talkative, curious woman. She wanted to know all about where they came from, and how and why Y/N had to be subjected to the archaic, ancient traditions their people still followed.

“If things go well, Y/N will be the last one to ever go through it.”

“That’s great,” Andrea smiled.

“So, tell me, how did you end up living with those three?”

The question made the woman laugh in surprise.

“Well when you put it that way, you make it sound like they’re impossible to live with.” she admitted. “You see, I’m going to marry Benny soon, and when he told me he was going to follow Dean all the way here… I didn’t like the idea at first. I miss the big city every now and then. But Matagorda is lovely. The fact that Dean and Castiel are very good friends of mine helps too.”

“That must be good.” Thasman mumbled. He saw Benny come back down the stairs, and waved at him as he joined them at the kitchen table, taking a seat next to Andrea. “So, how did you meet each other?”

In the bathroom, Dean winced as he slowly made his way into the bathtub. Whatever Thasman had put on him seemed to react to the water. Grabbing a small washcloth, Dean soaked it before placing it on his face.The events that just transpired replaying in his head. Something about the way Thasman had spoken nagged in Dean’s head. He had to find out more about Sindarta. Hell, he never even heard of the place. It gave him more questions than answers as he closed his eyes and let the warm water soothe his now battered and beaten body.

In that time, Dean had dozed off and his mind wandered towards Y/N. He could see himself with her on the beach. The dress she wore flowing as they walked down the shore. Her laugh echoed in his ears making his heart flutter. He wasn't sure how long he was in the tub, but the sound of someone banging on the door jolted Dean awake.

“Dean-o!” Benny’s voice boomed through the door. “Did you drown in there?”

“I’m almost done, don’t worry,” Dean called back as he sat up.

He wasn’t sure what had happened but the combination of the warm bathwater, the cream Thasman had applied and the small nap seemed to ease Dean’s pain. As he climbed out of the tub, Dean grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist after drying himself off. Walking to the mirror, he gave a low whistle. Where his eye should have been bulging out and black, he found that it was just slightly purple and his skin was smooth.

“What the hell kind of balm was that?” he whispered to himself as he took a closer look at his wounds.

His nose was no longer swollen and the wounds on his chest were nothing but light purple, almost healed marks. He didn’t feel as sore as when the fight ended. Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he opened the door to find Benny leaning on the wall across the hall waiting for him.

“Wow,” Benny whispered with a low whistle. “That’s some kind of magic balm the kid has.”

“You’re telling me,” Dean agreed. “I’m going to get dressed and I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Alright, brotha,” Benny smiled. “Looks like you made a new friend. I still want to meet this Y/N girl and not just a quick glance.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he dismissed Benny, pushing him out of his room. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

It didn’t take long for Dean to join the others as they had helped Thasman find a spot in the living room to sleep. Dean settled on the couch and tapped Thasman on the shoulder.

“Here,” He handed Thasman two books. “These are some basics on cars. I noticed Bobby trying to teach you some hands on techniques. But you look like you could handle some reading material.”

“Thank you,” Thasman flipped through the books and smiled. “These will be a big help in understanding the metal death traps.”

“Metal death traps?” Dean and Benny echoed before laughing.

“Have to give it to him there, brotha,” Benny chortled. “Some of the old models didn’t have a lot of safety features.

The rest of the night was filled with Dean and Benny answering Thasman’s questions. It wasn’t until around midnight that Cas stumbled through the door. His hair was a mess and his clothes askew. Benny gave Dean a smack on his chest, making the man hiss in pain. Dean looked up when Benny pointed at Cas, forgetting about being angry at the Cajun.

“Well, well, well,” Dean drawled. “Look what the cat dragged in!”

“He was dragged by a cat?” Thasman questioned. “I don’t see a cat dragging Castiel.”

Benny and Dean let out a laugh, “It’s just an expression Thas.” Dean clarified. “And Benny, I do believe that our dear Cas has gotten himself lucky.”

Castiel gave them a big smile. “You’re not getting any details from me.”

The rest of the night the boys teased Cas, teaching Thasman all about their friendship and teaching him to tease and play around. It wasn’t long before everyone went to bed and a new day would begin.

--------------------------------

Y/N hadn’t noticed when Thasman rushed in to change his clothes. In fact, she hadn’t even asked him where he was all night. She was sure he was off training. Something he often did back home. The morning was quiet with Meg, speaking about what she did with Castiel. Y/N had questions, but the thought of Dean pained her heart. She would never experience what Meg had done with Castiel. She knew it would never happen, she couldn’t let it. But then again, she had hoped that maybe, if Thasman was true to his word, she could find something with Dean.

Y/N never noticed when the lunch crowd came in, until a pair of familiar green eyes stared into her Y/E/C eyes.

“Hey, Y/N,” He smiled happily. “You look like you’re enjoying working.”

Y/N gave him a kind smile, “I do. How are things at the garage going? I’m really sorry about Thasman and what he said yesterday.” She said, “I should get back to my section.”

“Y/N?” Dean held her hand making her freeze in place. “I know you have three days left and I was just wondering if maybe I could take you for a drive around other parts of Texas? We can explore it together.” he said, hopeful that she would accept.

“I--” Y/N wasn’t sure what to say. And Thasman’s words were ringing in her head. Even Dean said it himself, they were leaving in three days. “I don’t think it is a good idea, Dean. I appreciate everything, and I appreciate your friendship… But I think it’s best if we stayed apart.”

“Y/N, what -- I--” Dean tried to hold on tightly to her but pulled his hand back when he felt a small shock. “Y/N what’s wrong?” he looked at her with worry in his eyes.

“Dean, I’m going to be busy. I won’t have time for an outing.” she said and smiled softly. “Don’t worry, ok? I have to go back to work now.”

Dean watched her as she began clearing off plates from the counter and wiped it down. He frowned at her reaction to more adventures. Did he do something wrong? Looking around, he noticed that things were slowing down. Taking a deep breath, he shifted towards her.

“Y/N,” Dean began. “I think you’d be missing out on an awesome adventure. I mean, I heard of a place that makes good Barbeque! I mean, the meat is delicious.” Dean smiled at her.

“It doesn’t sound so good…” she mumbled.

“Think about it,” Dean leaned on the counter and took her hand in his. “You, me, Baby, the open road, and nothing but rock music to help entertain us.” he let his thumb run across the back of her hand.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn’t help it. He hoped that maybe he could try to help her find a way to stay. But he knew he would be breaking Thasman’s trust if he did. So this would give him more time to be with her.

“What do you say, Y/N?” Dean said as he bit his lip and looked into her eyes.

“I don’t think so. Being here in Matagorda is good enough.” Y/N sighed as she pulled her hand back.

“Are you sure?” he tried once more. “I found a few really good places on my way here–”

“Dean!” She interrupted. “In three days I will go home. In three days I will go home and I will lose my freedom.” She grumbled. “I can’t spend anymore time wasting it on something that will never be.”

“Us being friends has already happened, Y/N. You’re my friend, and I want to be with you before you go…” he explained with a hurt tone. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

Y/N watched as Dean walked out of the Dinner with the food he placed with Meg. She turned around and wiped the tears from her eyes. She knew Dean was her friend, but she was wanting more. And that was something that would hurt both of them. Looking at the time she looked at Ellen who was waiting for her.

“Y/N…” Ellen began but stopped when she saw the sad look on Y/N’s face.

“I need to go back to the cave and swim for a bit.” Y/N said as they walked to Ellen’s car. “I can feel myself getting warm again.”

“Thasman will have to go too, if that’s the case.” Ellen stated.

“I’m sure he will join later,” Y/N said. “I want to be alone for a while.”

“Ok…” she conceded. “What happened, hun?”

“I need to think about the future, Ellen,” She breathed. “And the sooner I realize that Dean is not a part of that, the better.” She let out a small sniffle. “He’s better off finding a human he can love.”

“Now, you don’t know that.” Ellen tried to comfort her. “What about all the stuff you’ve been saying? About coming back every once in a while? Dean will still be in your life, so would I, and Bobby.”

“But he won’t Ellen,” Y/N argued. “I’ll be married to Thasman… and I… I care for Dean very much and not the same way I care for Thasman.” she whispered.

“I know, sweetie.” she mumbled. They were pulling up to her house already, and Y/N wasn’t giving any signs of feeling better. “But who knows? Maybe you can pull an Ariel and come here.”

“Who’s Ariel?” Y/N asked. “Is she a Mermaid that you know?”

“She is. There’s a whole movie about her. Of course, nobody really thinks she is real because most people don’t think you guys are real, but… now that I know you exist, maybe you can pull something like that off. Not in all the Disney glory, but, something similar.” Noticing she had started to wander, Ellen shook her head. “I’ll show you and Thasman the movie when you come back from the cave.”

“I’m just going to take a dip for a few hours Ellen” Y/N said as she made her way to the path that led to the cave. “If Thasman comes home just… tell him I want to be alone for a bit.”

Ellen watched as Y/N made her way to the cave, she had hoped that Thasman would be home soon.

----------------------------------

At the Garage, Dean gave everyone their food and sat on top of the hood of one of the rusty cars. He frowned as he thought about what transpired at the diner. The way she was pushing him away broke his heart a bit. He took a bite of his burger while staring off into the distance.

“Dean!”

He startled at his own name, managing to choke on his burger. He coughed as he settled it down, hearing an “Oh, no”, then saw his drink appear in front of him.

“I’m sorry, jellyfish.” Thasman apologized once he stopped coughing.

“I’m okay,” Dean said as he took a sip of the drink.

“I was asking, how did it go with Y/N today?”

“Oh,” Dean sucked in a breath. “She-- um --- well, she said no.”

Thasman traced his hands through his hair. “Of all the times she could listen to me, she actually chose to do it with this,” he gave Dean an apologetic look. “Did she say why?”

Dean cleared his throat, “She said, ‘can’t spend anymore time wasting it on something that will never be’. And I kind of have a feeling I know what she was talking about.”

“Me too,” Thasman stated. “I will talk to her. The least I could do is get her to at least speak to you again.”

Dean let out a soft laugh, “I don’t know man… You might have been right.” he took in a deep breath. “Maybe she realized I’m not good enough for her.” He coughed, “at least not good enough to be her friend.”

“What is that thing Bobby calls you? Idjit?” Thasman waited for Dean to respond. Seeing him nod, he continued, but slapped Dean in the back of his head. “Then stop being that, you huge jellyfish. I was wrong. Mostly. I think. So this is what is going to happen: I am going to talk to Y/N, tell her I was wrong, and when she goes to you with that huge smile she gets when she sees your jellyfish face, you will enjoy the three days we have left.”

“Thas--” Dean began but stopped when the merman shook his head.

“I’m going to fix it.” Thasman promised as he hopped off the hood and turned to face Dean. “Break’s over! Back to work! I want to at least say that I was able to help clear out the garage before you make it brand new!”

Dean just sat there, watching him.

“What?” Thasman questioned.

“If anyone had told me yesterday that you would’ve told me all of that today, I would’ve laughed.” Dean admitted. “Just yesterday morning you hated my guts.”

Thasman smiled at him like he was the dumbest person alive.

“I said I didn’t trust you, jellyfish. There’s a difference. Now move. You said some friends of yours were coming and I can guarantee that they will not like it if the place is not cleared up when they arrive.”

“Why am I a jellyfish?” He groaned.

“Because you are annoying.” Thasman smiled teasingly as he extended his hand to Dean. “Now come on.”

Dean shook his head, but took Thasman’s hand anyway. “Alright.”

You guys have no idea how much I love this chapter. It is hands down on my top three chapters for COTO.

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