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halsteadlover · 2 months

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𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by @hart-kinsella: Maybe him and mc are working undercover (but they're married in real life) and a guy tries too hard with her (takes her by the arm and invades her personal space as well as trying to flirt with her with words) and then Jay tells him that and punches him. They could be at a club like that one episode when he and Hailey (and Kevin, maybe? I don't remember exactly) were undercover - unfortunately I don't recall which season it was.

• Warnings: mention of drugs, violence.

• Word count: 1543.

• A/N: I know this is not my best work and I apologize 😭 but I managed to quickly write it so I can post something ❤️ and tell me why I stayed for half an hour staring at the wall to think about a title and I ended up with this one 😭 btw love you all and thank you always for your support

It was no secret Jay sometimes hated undercover missions. Especially if you were involved.

He couldn’t help it. He knew you were an amazing cop, one of the best he ever worked with, capable of defending yourself in any circumstances but since you were also his wife, he couldn’t help but worry about you.

And this case was no different.

You and Jay were undercover due to a drug trafficking case, him as a potential buyer interested in purchasing the drugs, you as his work partner who had set up the connection with Joshua Ryder, the criminal suspected of being the gang’s leader.

Jay was on the verge of losing his mind, not being able to stay still and acting like nothing was happening.

You were both in a club, sitting in a VIP room while you talked with Ryder and convince him to make a deal with you. The rest of the team were instead in some fake company’s vans listening to your conversations in real time.

However, things started to go wrong when Jay noticed one of the traffickers approaching you in a way he didn’t like at all.

“Are you here to do business or watch her like a hawk?” the gang leader had insisted for the umpteenth time while for the umpteenth time Jay directed his gaze towards you who continued to giggle with fake enthusiasm with one of Ryder’s henchmen.

You were uncomfortable, as with any mission that involved getting close to another man other than your husband. You knew it was your job, that you had a duty to fulfill and your private life had to stay out of it but sometimes it wasn’t that easy.

“You sure you don’t want anything to drink, sugar?” Asked the man who insistently continued to hit on you. You didn’t even know his name – or care to know – but you smiled anyway with fake naivety, slightly shaking your head.

You quickly glanced at Jay who was sitting in front of you, noticing he was busy talking to Ryder, but his gaze met yours for a moment. It was brief but in that simple look you understood he too had noticed that guy’s insistence. Jay had his arms crossed over his chest, breathing heavy, his jaw clenched as he saw how this man insisted on getting closer to you.

He was disgusting, he smelled of alcohol from miles away, and you had to repress the urge to vomit and the instinct to punch his ugly face.

The man approached further, sliding on the sofa towards you and you moved back, trying to create further distance but without making it obvious and making him suspicious.

“You know, my boss is quite jealous of his employees, you shouldn’t be so close to me,” you falsely giggled but he didn’t seem to get the hint, in fact, it seemed to amuse him even more.

“We’re all one big family here darling, what’s mine is someone else’s and what’s someone else’s is mine…” He rested an arm on the back of the sofa behind your shoulders and although he hadn’t even touched you, you felt your skin crawl and the urgent need to throw yourself into an acid bath. “If you want to do business with us your boss will have to learn how to share… Especially with such a beautiful and gracious girl like you.”

The desire to kick him in the balls was intense and you wondered what kind of woman would really fall for these words.

Jay was on the verge of losing his mind.

He was trying.

He was really trying but it was so fucking hard to stay still and not react when that son of a bitch was being a creep with his wife. Ryder was talking to him about something he didn’t even care about, but he couldn’t pay attention and process a single word, too focused on you.

He couldn’t help but glance at you every now and then, running a hand on his jaw in frustration and starting to fidget on the spot as he saw the man getting closer and closer to you and invading your personal space, like touching your hair or caress your shoulder.

It wasn’t jealousy, he could never be jealous of a filthy man like him but he deeply hated not being able to do anything to keep you safe without ruining the whole mission. He hated seeing you so tense and uncomfortable although from the way your hands were balled into fists in your lap, he knew you too were itching to punch him.

He hated having to pretend you were simply his work partner and not his wife.

But he swore he saw red when that man’s clammy hand rested on your face and your eyes widened at the contact as your entire body froze in place.

Fuck the mission and these motherfuckers too.

Jay lost control.

That slimy hand on you had driven him crazy and before he knew it, he had stood up and grabbed the man’s hand with his, punching him in the face with all the strength in his body. He didn’t catch the gasp that escaped you and he didn’t even care he had just ruined any chance of doing ‘business’ with Ryder along with the possibility of framing him. While his fist hit that bastard again and again, all he could do was think of those hands on you.

“That’s my fucking wife you motherfucker!” Jay screamed in his face, holding him by the collar of his shirt as the man spat out blood, struggling to keep up with the fury of the undercover detective. “Let me catch you again putting a hand on her or even just looking her way, I’ll enjoy breaking your fingers one by one before throwing you in jail.”

Everything was now chaos.

The team, who in the meantime had witnessed everything through your hidden cameras, burst in when they realized the situation had now worsened to the point of no return. You tried to pull Jay away from the man, but it was totally useless, not when he was so furious that your strength was no match for his.

Ryder was fuming when he realized you were cops and you had tried to frame him, swearing he’d make you pay dearly while Kevin handcuffed him along with the rest of his goons.

“Baby,” you called back but Jay didn’t look at you right away. You stood outside the club under Voight’s orders, a hand on his bicep and caressing him as you tried to get his attention. You were alone in a little corner, waiting for your boss for his inevitable fury.

“You okay?” He asked, his voice low but finally focusing his gaze on you.

You let out a laugh trying to diffuse the tension, you hated seeing him so furious. “You are ask me if I’m okay? I’m not the one who just punched a guy.”

He sighed, tearing his eyes away from you as he ran his hands over his face with frustration. Your heart clenched at the sight of his red and bruised knuckles. “I wish I had killed him to be honest.”

“Jay I don’t want you to get hurt because of me,” you replied, taking his hands in yours and leaving a kiss on the back of them, smiling when you saw his hard features start to soften at the gesture. “I could’ve handled him, I wouldn’t have let him go any further.”

“I know you could baby, you’re amazing,” he softy spoke, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. He took a step towards you, closing the distance enough you had to slightly lift your head up to look into his eyes. “But there’s no way on earth that I would have sat there and watched while that son of a bitch put his hands on you.”

He cupped your face with his hands, his thumbs caressing your heated cheeks. “No one gets to put a hand on you, much less against your will. You’re my wife, I’m the only bastard who can touch you and I will gladly kill anyone who dares to do it instead of me, am I clear?”

You let out a breath, almost on the verge of passing out right there and now in his arms. “God baby I want to suck your dick so bad right now. I love when you get so protective of me, it’s so hot.”

Jay burst out laughing, his stomach clenching in anticipation knowing you would stand by your words. He pulled you into a hug and you rested your head on his chest as you wrapped your arms around him. “I’ll always keep you safe, I won’t let anyone touch a single hair of your head, I hope you know it. God knows I would set the city on fire to protect you.”

“I know baby, I love you so damn much it’s insane,” you deeply inhaled the smell of his cologne, leaving a kiss on his shirt coated chest. “But I hope it’s worth it because Voight is coming and I think he’s ready to take us both out,” you continued when you broke away from the hug and saw your boss coming up behind Jay, a furious look on his face.

“Oh yeah, it’ll always be worth it, especially for the amazing blowjob you’ll give me later.”

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jymwahuwu · 18 days

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I don't usually send asks but be careful. The hsr fandom is mass reporting any dubcon or noncon accounts in the fandom. They got someone's account deleted the other day and accused them of promoting r@pe.

I hope u have a good day!

Oh thank you! I don't pay much attention to fandom stuff so I don't know…I guess people are crying and screaming over the morality of fictional content again💀

To cite the fact, I recently purchased some comics from DL sites, which according to wiki already have over 9 million global users in 2022. There are many popular otome comics, CDs, sounds and games available online where you can buy them. As you've probably read, those comics are quite famous. You can see that the first place is yandere, the second place is non-con, and the third place is sweet love story. I did a quick count, and one-third of the top 100 are non-con, dub-con, and yandere content. That is almost the most popular and best-selling content theme in otome around the world. I guess that proves something.

Women…not just women, people's sexual repression and shame are quite evident around the world. Sex cannot be mentioned or discussed in the public sphere, let alone your desires, which are not accepted. Many people who have CNC kink are people who have rape fantasies. If the protagonist is forced to take away, overwhelm, in the fantasy, then there will be less sexual guilt because you are being forced.

David W. Wahl Ph.D. points out in "Understanding and Indulging in Rape Fantasy":

In Lehmiller’s (2018) survey results of 4,175 adults in the United States, he found that two-thirds of women in the study had rape fantasies and half of the men surveyed reported having rape fantasies.

And he mentioned the stigma surrounding rape fantasies:

As in all types of sexual desires, there are those who will stigmatize anyone who is sexually aroused by rape fantasy. Those who do not find arousal in this form of desire often cannot understand why others would like it. And, unfortunately, when some individuals are not interested in a particular desire, they act to shame anyone who is.

To summarize, the reasons for having rape fantasies mentioned in his article are:

Coping with past sexual assault

For sexual exploration

Rape fantasies can provide excuses, meaning the person can convince themselves that they did not want it but were forced to do so.

Oops, maybe some of the people staring at my page are now thinking "Oh my God, that's terrible. I'm going to report this to foreign website. So many people have these vicious and unacceptable thoughts in their minds" and "They are defending and encouraging rape". They cry out to their inner morals, "That's disgusting!", "Why do these studies justify these evil ideas?"

I'm not surprised. Reading ability is limited.

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shadow4-1 · 7 months

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Sweet n' Silly Lieutenant Simon "Ghost" Headcanons (SFW & NSFW)

Ghost is a character who has so many different facets of his personality that he represses for one reason or another. Sometimes, though, he can't hide things well enough. Here are a few headcanons (NSFW Under The Cut):

Ghost is very picky about the masks he wears. If he buys them pre-made (which is rare - he likes to make his own, he can sew), they have to be a very specific type of fabric. Of course, it has to have all the tactical advantages, but it has to be SOFT most of all. All of his clothing is soft for that matter. This man will NEVER, I repeat NEVER, be caught dead in anything starchy or itchy or scratchy. Even his bed sheets are that crazy 1000 thread count cotton. He likes soft things.

Speaking of soft things, Simon carries around a very small square of quilted fabric in whatever extra pocket he might have. It's actually a piece of a handkerchief his mother sewed for him as a child to keep him from taking his baby blanket with him to school. It's old and tattered and stained, but he carries it with him anyway. It's been with him through thick and thin (and the grave). He doesn't need to sleep with it, but if he's severely stressed, he'll hold onto it and examine it for a little bit. Sometimes, that fabric feels like it's the only thing tethering him to earth.

Would absolutely love to get his nails professionally done, but because of his appearance, he doesn't want to intimidate some poor nail lady. Instead, he opts to give himself mani-pedis. Sometimes, if he's feeling rebellious, he'll bust out his trusty bottle of black nail polish and go for it. It's not like anyone'll see it under his gloves. And God forbid if you walk in on him painting his toenails. He WILL kill you.

Ghost has some interesting food habits. He'll honestly eat whatever if he has to, but he would much prefer to eat simple, almost childish foods. He likes things like pasta, sandwiches, juice, and pudding. God, he loves pudding. A giant bowl of hot mac n' cheese and an entire 6-pack of prepackaged pudding is his favorite meal. He KNOWS its bad for him and it totally fucks up his very specific diet he uses to upkeep his frame, but he can't help it.

Has an intense skin care and oral care regimen despite the fact that almost no one will ever see it. His smile would make you go blind because he practically bleaches his fucking teeth - and also because he chose to smile with teeth.

He's quiet for a multitude of reasons. Yes, it's because he's observant and wants to be in control of his surroundings. But it's also because deep down he's still a shy boy. He can stand up for himself and others if he has to, he's grown into that part of himself. But as for meeting new people, he's shy. He doesn't know you, and he doesn't know if he WANTS to know you. He'd rather just eye you up and let your actions speak for themselves. And that's why Johnny is one of his favorites. Something about a person who can outwardly show their genuineness is his kryptonite (although of course they don't have to be as much of a puppy as Johnny - take for instance Price or Gaz)

Absolutely detests physical touch unless he initiates it or it's fleeting. Handsy people piss him off. But a light punch to the shoulder, a tap or two? It makes him feel normal. Normal people aren't afraid to touch each other in that casual sort of way. Ghost is kind of normal. At least he tries to be.

Fucking sucks at flirting. He comes across as dry and uninterested even if it's the opposite. He just hopes the person he's interested in can pick that up so they don't run off thinking he's a prick. If they do then fuck 'em. Ghost is happy being by himself. He's been alone for so long, what's another few years.

Has a very silent praise kink. If his lover tells him anything good about him, goes straight to his ego. He won't show it, but that "I like being with you" went straight to his cock and made him puff out his chest. Of course you do. He's great. He's always been great. Now he's really going to show you how great he is.

Ghost is a huge scent guy. He's very picky about what scents he enjoys, and if he has a lover, he can and will throw out all of their expensive fragrances (and soaps and lotions, etc). His lover HAS to smell a certain way to him, and he'll supply them with whatever he deems appropriate. By the time he's done, his lover will have to adopt a whole new skincare routine. Smelling like sex is obviously one of his top picks, although once again, he'd never say that aloud.

He's a very, VERY visual creature. He knows it makes him come across as a creep, but he loves just watching his lover. He loves picking up on their mannerisms and their quirks. He loves watching their body move when walking or showering. He loves seeing wet stains in his lover's underwear and indentations of his teeth in their skin. He truly devours EVERYTHING with his eyes.

Gets aroused by the weirdest of things. Bare hands on metal, that section of skin in between the collar of a shirt and a throat mic, blowing bubbles in gum. Sometimes, he's hard for nearly an entire mission because someone's voice is too raspy in the comms. (And yes, he's an avid ASMR lover. Those tingles he gets goes straight to his dick and he's ashamed about it. He would absolutely die if his lover sees his search history. They can't know he wants their tongue in his eardrums - no one can.)

Rarely jerks off. He represses all of his sexual energy until he physically can't anymore. He knows it's because deep down he's traumatized. Pleasure is something he doesn't feel like he's allowed to have. His lover should be allowed to have it. But him? No. Jerking off feels like such hedonistic behavior. He feels like a degenerate after. No jerking off. Besides, the more pent-up he is, the sexier his dreams get.

He's always been afflicted by crazy dreams - mainly nightmares. Sometimes, though, especially if he's pent up his dreams get sexual. For the most part they're pretty tame, par for the course sex dreams but when he really gets pent up? When he feels like he's going to burst? His dreams get so realistic they might as be reality. He gets rough and possesive and fucks his lover into his mattress only wo wake up and have to come to grips with the things he's WILLING to do to them. He's so used to being disciplined that the moment that mask drops he can't look at himself in the mirror.

#simon ghost riley #ghost headcanons #simon riley x reader #mw2 headcanons #mw3 headcanons

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yonemurishiroku · 7 months

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Okay here we go.

I have just found out recently that it’s canon that Cupid has been watching Nico since he was young. And as usual, it sends many thoughts spiraling.

Assuming Nicole was Christian when he was young, when he saw this winged man, bathed in white and holy divine light, he might as well think he was an angel. He probably would have told Maria or Hades that. “There's an Angel”, to which Hades would have dismissed upon realizing it was actually Cupid.

I don't know about you but it sounds magical in a way that Nico, who is an Angel in name and in a prophecy, is looked after by somewhat a resemblance of said deity. His connection to Cupid started so soon. I would like to think about it as it is a reference to Nico being the same kind of Angel as Cupid is, in the sense that Eros, or Cupid, is God of homosexuality in the Greek myth. It’s confirmed in TSATS that Nico had had a sense of his difference since the early days and felt a little bit left out, which, imo, is as best as any to be a reason for Cupid to put a tab on him. Obviously, I don't know much about Greek mythology so this is probably only me.

Also, Favonius also mentioned that he had always known Nico would return to them. So I take this as that, Nico, for how much he tries to repress or run away from himself, there will surely come a time when he has to be true to what he is. To accept himself for all it has become and to realize that it doesn't make him any less of a human. It goes without saying that Cupid’s intervention was unnecessarily brutal, probably because the Greeks love tragedies, but the purpose remains true, which was to propel an essential step in Nico’s path to self-peace.

(Aphrodite liked Percabeth as the next person and she chose to make their love story ‘more interesting’ with challenges. Love gods are just unhinged, unfathomable like that)

Another thing. I have always found it fascinating how Cupid has taken an unusual interest in Nico, in particular. Nico couldn't be the only closeted person who had come to visit his place in the 30s? I like to think it has something to do with the fact that he was a son of Hades, who loved his wife enough to take up… controversial measures. Love and Death are similar, Cupid has said. Nico loves so much. His love has always run so deep – as reflected in what he did for Percy, the grief he held for Bianca, his affectionate side reserved for Hazel (bc familial love counts too) – that it impressed Cupid on a personal level so he just followed him since.

#can u tell i dont know much about sexualities #nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #yone rambling #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #cupid (pjo)#house of hades #favonius (pjo)#nico and cupid #over analyzing

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bas-writes · 5 months

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Bas, I love your writing so much!!!! Im kind of embarrassed to say I have notifs turned on for your posts. I've never requested one, and I know you're probably inundated, but if you are interested, would you do nanami and 44 for the kiss prompt ask? I think it's tentative kisses in the dark?

Latecomers

Character: Nanami Kento Reader: gender neutral (ambiguous body and presentation, no gendered pronouns) CW: reader is wearing glasses, alcohol (both reader and Nanami were drunk prior to events of fic) Word count: 1560 Prompt: Tentative kisses given in the dark. A/N: After a horribly long break, I am finally pecking at the very old kiss drabbles request. If you're still here, Anon, I'm sorry for the unplanned long wait. I hope you will enjoy this little Nanami treat as much as I enjoyed writing it 🤭

The atmosphere was so dense it could be cut with a knife, and the unsettling environment was just a rather minor cause to blame. With nothing but cold hatred he felt towards the wannabe-suburban train stations, Nanami would still take its whole gamut of nuisances, if only he could face it alone.

In contrast to the cold and alien station hall, your presence wasn't unpleasant or unwelcome—but the two of you wanted to be somewhere else so badly it was almost written on your faces. What a misfortune, not only you had been assigned a mission in the same area, but also both of you had missed the last train back to Tokyo, ending up stuck all alone for a few hours to come.

Seated in an appropriate yet painfully close distance, Nanami was staring at the departure board, stubborn, motionless, as if a wrongly paced blink would delay the next train for an extra hour. Hands crossed in his lap, he fiddled with thumbs and fought against the urge to whistle or hum, anything to tune that deaf silence down. You both had attempted to lead a conversation, and both had failed miserably. Words possibly couldn't glue together, and your eyes kept wandering everywhere but each other's paths, what an unbearable pain in the ass.

Nanami had at least the barrier of his glasses providing him succor, but what he could hide from you, had just been drilling him from inside instead. Whenever his glance grazed over you, the memory of the tangy taste of your lips, pressed against his and followed suit by a brush of your warm, wet tongue, hit him like a jackhammer. Even the dim, industrial lightning around had nearly the same taint as that izakaya you had gathered in to celebrate another week of life. A cheap bar, cheap cigarettes filling the air, cheap sake burning your throats—and hasty kisses exchanged through the stolen minute of solitude, awkwardly, leaving strain in his knees as he had leaned over the short table to reach you.

Truly a spur of a moment, caving to his repressed yearning, a decision a drunk fool had made with consequences sober he had to face.

"Express train to—" Timeworn speakers barked into tar-like silence and the both of you jerked up and bumped your elbows. Nanami mumbled an apology, barely audible amidst the recording still echoing through the hall, and forced himself to look at you, as sincerity demanded.

You were hunched-up in your seat, hands rubbing your tight-crossed arms, literally an inch from trembling, no mantle or even a scarf whatsoever. He had noticed you had been dressed a bit too light for a night to spend on railway station, of course he had, but the thought had been pushed at the back of his head as he had squared himself up for a different kind of battle.

Now shame was burning his ears brighter than embarrassment. He had been sitting there all cozy while you suffered right by his side, within an arm reach.

"Do I look that bad?" You snorted, tad forced, as you eyed him struggling with his jacket. "I'm not freezing, don't—"

"I have a pullover." Nanami, dry as ever, threw himself over your words, and pushed a just stripped mantle into your lap.

You opened your mouth, ready to battle for your point, but immediately shut it under the weight of his gaze sneaking over his glasses.

Nanami immediately averted eyes but couldn't cover his ears from you as you, prolonging it awkwardly, cleared your throat, "Hey, lemme at least repay?"

An even dryer response was forcing its way to his lips. Nanami didn't need anything from you, desperately didn't want anything from you, but he couldn't quite bring himself, despite everything, to push you away, "I could use some coffee."

Not until you had got busy with the vending machine at the other side of the hall Nanami let himself take a deeper breath. The low thudding of his pulse drowned all the other sounds: his heart was racing so much he feared it might break free out of his chest and chase after you. He expected as much, the sight of your figure hunched under his jacket could be only powerful beyond imagination, so close and dear, and burning his eyes as you returned closer, with two paper cups in your hands.

"You look quite pale yourself," you tease, unconvincingly with the way your throat squeezed around words. "You sure you don't want your jacket back?"

Wary of the risk of your hands meeting, Nanami took his coffee and muttered a dry thank you. You hunched up again in your seats, the expected express train stopped with a screech somewhere behind your backs, but no one followed the arrival nor the departure.

The hall remained empty and tense.

Coffee from the vending machine tasted horrible but it was warm and helped keeping lips busy. Nanami sipped on his half-heartedly, focused on easing pulse and breath, against his thoughts racing towards the memories he would gladly already forget.

What now? What were you going to do with all of this? Should you act as if nothing ever happened? How can you ever act as if nothing ever happened?

"Nanami—" Your voice caught him off-guard, with a cup right by his lips. His hands budged, some coffee spilled down his chin and dripped on his pullover.

"Ah shit, I'm sorry!" You sprung to your feet as if it indeed was your fault, fumbling with pockets of an unfamiliar jacket, finally seizing a handkerchief out of one. He tried to wipe himself with just a bare hand—but with a surprising resolve you pushed it out the way and dealt with the mess yourself.

"I'm alright," he tried to answer the unspoken question, couldn't bring himself to. The gentle but determined touch of yours left him paralyzed, enchanted, from toes to lips, itching at the faint memory of the kiss you had shared.

The lamp over your heads flickered and your hand dabbed closer, from his chest to his throat, then his chin. Nanami's breath hitched, audibly, tickled at the tips of your fingers gently drying the last droplets of long-forgotten tasteless coffee. The sensation was familiar, was wrong, so inappropriate, so shameless in its simplicity.

You shouldn't do that to him.

And he couldn't hold himself any longer.

Through the thin layer of handkerchief Nanami kissed your fingers, from tips to knuckles, and nuzzled his face into your palm. Begging internally for you to slap or punch him, he wandered towards your wrist, breathed the sweet scent of yours he had learnt by heart the day he held you close for the first and only time. He felt your pulse racing under your skin, swallowed its rhythm like starved, latched on this little vibration with his eyes closed, awaiting the inevitable doom and punishment.

The lamp flickered, power whined in cables and died, leaving the both of you in darkness right as your lips finally met again.

At first you bumped into each other awkwardly, glasses against glasses—the obstacle you tore out of your way almost simultaneously. In contrast to your first kiss, you moved carefully, barely brushing your lips, constantly asking, and never quite answering, and sharing breath in between chaotic breaks.

The unpleasant, chemical taste of coffee seemed to work against you—but as the even worse taste of sake hadn't stopped you back then, you quickly ignored it this time too. Nanami sipped it from you as if your mouth was filled with rose water, gladly swallowing your tongue finally pressing against his. Not until then he had dared to touch you, to pull you closer by the skirts of his own jacket, one hand cradling the back of your head. You snuck fingers into his hair; your nose brushed cute against his as you tilted head to the side, finally losing yourself into the sensation and pulling him into it with you.

The light flickered again, the hum of electronics returned, but you remained linked, catching up on days lost for the awkward dance of adults too skittish to be adult—until sharp fire in lungs forced Nanami to pull away.

With a thin string of saliva still connecting the two of you, you were heavily panting a mere inch away from his face. He felt your moist breath against his skin and already starved to steal it again—but, fighting against himself, he brought the same coffee-stained handkerchief to your lips and dabbed them dry.

You exhaled through your nose, amused, and repeated his gesture from earlier, peppering his fingers with soft kisses.

"It tasted…horrible," Nanami broke the silence first after you recollected yourselves, words faster than the second thought. "The coffee, I mean."

"The kiss too," you admitted and tossed your cup into the nearest trash can, somehow not spoiling the remaining coffee. "How can they sell this crap to people?"

"I feel I owe you a proper one." Faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips, Nanami dared to scoot closer. You nuzzled towards him too, sharing the much-needed warmth eagerly now. "Once we're back to Tokyo, I'm taking you to a good place."

"It's a date?" The warmth in your voice, the timbre he loved so much, returned, no remaining trace of embarrassment left.

"It's a date. With breakfast."

More of Kiss Event! I if you liked it, please consider reblogging and/or leaving some feedback ❤️ | you can also support me on kofi! ❤️

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thesparklingwriter · 1 year

Text

don't waste your tears

featuring: zhongli, childe, kazuha, kaeya

tags: gn!reader, hurt comfort, fluff, established relationship (Zhongli | Childe), genshin dude has a crush on you (Kazuha | Kaeya), mentions of familial problems in Childe’s, injured animal in Kaeya’s

word count: 1.5k

an: i had way too much fun with this one--i pulled a prompt out of my own backside and then decided to interpret it four different ways lol :))) everyone say congrats to kazuha for his first appearance on this account, and as usual my ask box is always open, hit me up with headcanons, requests, declarations of love for a character or just drop in for a chat :)

part 2 is here!

taglist | masterlist

Zhongli

You tried to keep it to yourself—tried to keep your sheer disappointment hidden, for the sake of the vendor who broke the news to you. I mean, who would cry over a silly little vase? But it had meant something to Zhongli, and hence it meant something to you, and you had saved for weeks and weeks to get it for him as an anniversary gift.

The vendor who tells you it was sold seems suitably upset for you, explaining that he had been on a break, and the reserved sign had fallen off, but it wasn't good enough. What were you going to do?

Frustrated tears slip out of your eyes as you march to the quietest place you can find, just so you can calm yourself down before returning home. If you went back like this, Zhongli would know immediately that something was wrong. But of course, the quietest place you can find is a tea shop, and of course, Zhongli’s eyes latch onto you the second you get close.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” He smiles, rising from his seat. “I thought I might have some tea while I waited for you to run your errands. Have you finished already?”

You keep your face turned away from him, trying to find a suitable excuse for your tears. Allergies will do it.

“Are you alright, love?”

You turn to him finally, a false smile plastered on your face. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just allergies,” You sniff.

Zhongli looks you up and down. He’s tempted to go along with your lie, but he knows that if does that, you’ll repress all your feelings, only to have them blow up in a few weeks’ time.

“How strange, it’s not nearly allergy season yet,” he says innocently, gesturing towards his table. “Come, sit with me. I’ll get you something to drink. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

And, just as he expected, after a couple of cups of tea and a teary embrace, you begin to tell him about the ordeal you’ve been through trying to get your hands on that wretched vase.

“How funny,” he mutters to himself. “I noticed you were interested in it, so I purchased it earlier today.”

You look at him with a mixture of utter disbelief and relief. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Childe

You had genuinely thought that you were beyond the problems you had with your family in the past, but as you open yet another letter that’s filled with thinly veiled insults and threats, you can’t help it. You burst into tears.

Maybe it’s just sheer frustration, from trying so hard to do what would make them proud, only to have them throw it back in your face, or maybe it’s just the sheer sadness you feel from being so out of touch with those you grew up with. But no matter how hard you try, you just can’t stop the tears from falling.

Then Childe bursts through the front door, excited as usual to see his partner after a long day. “I’m home! Where are you?”

You know that if you open your mouth to reply, Childe will hear the tears in your voice and make a beeline for you, so you make a muffled sound of acknowledgement and try to regulate your breathing.

Maybe if you get enough time, you’ll manage to make yourself look normal before he sees you. But no, you’re not that lucky, and Childe finds you in the kitchen, clutching onto the letter as if letting go of it would hurt you.

“What’s going on? Another letter?” He pries it out of your hands, pulling you into a hug. It hurts him to know the way your family are treating you. He values his siblings and parents and you more than anything in the world, and he’d do anything to make them stop this torrent of attacks towards you. It’s not fair on you.

“I don’t know what I keep doing wrong.” you sob into his shoulder.

“Nothing,” He replies, stroking your hair gently. “Nothing at all. They don’t deserve you, you know that, right? Every single member of my family loves you, and they all have great taste.” You chuckle slightly at that, so Childe continues. “If your family won’t appreciate you, you can have mine. They’d be delighted to have you. I'm delighted to have you.”

Kazuha

When you found yourself bursting into tears at Sanganomiya Shrine's beauty, you genuinely thought that you were alone—hence why you’d allowed yourself to cry. But you’d been entirely unaware of the other person following the same track as you.

He’d been exploring the island too, in an attempt to relax a little, and caught sight of you wandering through the trails. His initial fear was that you’d injure yourself trying to navigate the terrain, but his worries were quickly appeased, and he found himself in awe of how you seemed to breathe in the beauty of the world around you. He’d noticed you on a couple of occasions, but had never really felt like it was a good time to introduce himself--either you were enjoying the peace and quiet of the surroundings or quickly dispatching any monsters that tried to attack you.

He admired your duality.

But then he noticed you crying and thought it would be best to check that you weren’t injured.

“Are you alright?” Kazuha asks you, and despite the fact that his voice comes out of nowhere, you aren’t startled. You quickly swipe a tear away, taking a deep breath.

“It’s just…really beautiful. We don’t have sights like this at home.” You say, and he nods, walking to your side.

“I agree. I tried writing a haiku about this place once, but I didn’t feel I could do it justice.” He chuckles lightly to himself as your eyes light up with excitement.

“Do you remember that haiku, by any chance?”

Kazuha nods and recites it for you, his soft voice blending with the sound of the shrine, rising and falling with a practised musicality. The delivery and the contents of the haiku are so beautifully matched that you find yourself crying again, causing Kazuha to panic slightly. Before he can voice his concerns, you chuckle, swiping your tears away again. “Apologies,” you sniff. “That was just really good. I’m not sad, I swear.”

Kazuha laughs too, glad that if anything, he’s contributed to your experience.

“Say, do you write poems for every beautiful place you see?”

“I try to,” he smiles, his modesty taking over.

“Can I hear some more?” You ask. Since you’re so excited about this, how could he possibly say no?

Kaeya

Kaeya often takes breaks from work at times when he knows you’re going to be off too—and as his friend, you agree that the only reasonable thing to do is to grace him with your presence and brighten up his day a little. But today, when he leaves headquarters, you aren’t in any of your usual places, and Kaeya finds himself feeling worried. Not only does the gloom of loneliness begin to cast a shade over his mood, but he also begins to worry for your wellbeing. Where are you?

It’s not long before he hears you crying gently, and when he finds you, you’re kneeling on the floor, your shirt torn across the hem. You’re facing away from him, whispering to yourself, a rising panic in your voice. His mind begins to run through hundreds of scenarios that could lead to finding you this way, all of which are more worrying than the last.

“Are you okay?” He asks, and you turn to him with tears in your eyes. Kaeya spies the shivering body of a small dog in your arms.

He then realises that the panic he thought he heard in your voice was anger, and the torn parts of your shirt are wrapped around two of the dog's paws in a desperate attempt to curb any bleeding. You whisper to the dog again, something along the lines of ‘you’re going to be okay’ before turning your attention back to Kaeya.

“Someone did this to her.” You seethe, furious tears streaming down your face. He can barely stand to look at you, especially when you’re this distressed. It upsets him to see the anger in your face. “Someone did this to her and I swear I am going to kill them.” Your rage radiates off you and Kaeya worries that it’s stressing the dog, so he carefully pries her out of your arms.

Any other person in Mondstadt would have likely ignored this dog, let alone cry for it in the earnest way you do, and despite the situation, he finds his admiration for you growing.

“Let’s take her to headquarters, hm? I’m sure Klee would be more than happy to join you in entertaining her whilst I organise for a vet.”

His words have the intended effect on you, and you find yourself calming down slightly. “And once we know the dog is safe and well, we can set to finding out who did this to her.”

taglist: @ainescribe

#genshin x reader #kaeya x reader #kazuha x reader #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin fanfiction #genshin impact fan fiction #zhongli #childe #kaeya #kazuha #genshin impact x reader

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wetcatspellcaster · 1 month

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I saw you respond that you a very much not an SJM fan 😅 fair enough but I did want to ask what books/series you did like or would recommend that are of a fantasy/romantasy vibe!

lmfao, i am destined to become known for my parasocial enmity with the wingspan lady on this hellsite.

I don't read stuff with the same vibe as SJM all that often anymore. I used to read a lot of paranormal romance but the heteronormativity of SJM clones was upsetting me, so I've turned more towards the romance genre or just straight up fanfic these days.

So these recommendations might not be the perfect overlap but-!

Books with Fey Romances that are good

Holly Black, for all your fey needs. Tithe is the OG (and if you like sad men with white hair, have I got a blorbo for you!) but The Cruel Prince is her most popular series, that most people have read. The Darkest Part of the Forest is also an amazing standalone novel with a bit more creepiness than the other two. Not very explicit sex.

Olivia Atwater's Half A Soul and Ten Thousand Stitches are regency romance novels with fey associations, the first book is about a girl under a fairy curse and the second is about a fairy himbo trying his best at being a fairy godmother. No sex, that I can remember.

Heather Fawcett's Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Fairies. I've talked about this book a lot. If you like my fanfic, you will like this book, because this book was written for Me specifically. Not very explicit sex.

The Falconer series by Elizabeth May. This is the closest in this list to what SJM writes, only this is. um. better. Much sex, but also just... 'what if we started an apocalypse together, and the guilt meant I was scared to touch you, but we've got nothing else to live for now so why shouldn't I just do it?'

Fantasy Books with Good Romance

T Kingfisher's Swordheart and Nettle & Bone - both standalone novels. Swordheart is just Howl x Sophie dynamics, if Howl was a martial class, and also. A sword. Some sexiness.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (if we count the love interests as both the hot sexy wizard man AND the protagonist's gal pal). Some sexiness.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. If you like your immortal/mortal romances, this is a pretty stellar read tbh. Some sexiness.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan. This is such a fun book just generally but the slowburn of a 7 year high school romance sent me a little feral actually. Some sexiness.

Daevabad trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. Now, this one is a little bit evil bc its an epic fantasy trilogy that is quite dense, and the romance is amazing but it takes a WHILE. *I* can write an evil slowburn, but there is nothing more evil than what happened in these books bc everyone is so fucking repressed. Alternatively, The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by the same author, which cut to the chase a lot quicker, romance-wise.

Fantasy Books that are 😌😌 sexy 😌😌

The Dark Days Club by Alison Goodman. This is my favourite paranormal romance I've read in recent years, and they don't even have sex but I'm putting it here because um. they did. to me. That's what happens when you write a regency romance where if a woman takes of a man's coat they have 37 horny thoughts about it in real time. Imagine if Darcy and Elizabeth for P&P were also fighting demons at the same time as falling in love (not metaphorically. literal demons.)

Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert. Talia Hibbert's books in general fucking slap but I wish she'd written more paranormal romance than just this ONE story bc um. This was. um. Good.✌️

A Marvellous Light and A Restless Truth by Freya Marske. Freya Marske is also a popular fanfic author, and it shows with the way she writes sex.

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming. This author is the one who went briefly viral bc she accidentally has a book cover with Astarion on it lmao. This book was the first in that series, and unfortunately it wasn't for me (dragon shifter porn, I did *not* know going in) but the sex was really, really well-written, if that's something you could be into.

#asks #anons #book recs #look i say this with full acceptance that she is popular and i'll never win. but i don't even consider SJM fantasy.

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cry-ptidd · 4 months

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Nev, you absolutely brilliant and beautiful and talented mastermind!

I need to hear about your thoughts and opinions on pre-canon Alucard aka Dracula!

First of all anon I'm gonna kiss you and hug you and serve you burek with a warm drink and a smooch on the forehead

Second of all,

Long, long yapping below 👇 🗣️

Now, I don't know if you meant Dracula as in in-canon Hellsing Dracula or Bram Stoker's Dracula, so I'll do both thanks to the power of autism. Vlad III isn't included bc I don't wanna.

Also this is just my opinion and mild analysis of both medias, not a properly structured essay.

Dracula (1897) - Bram Stoker

Ok so first of all, Dracula is one of my favorite books. I adore gothic horror and the spooky melancholic supernatural atmosphere of most gothic novels. I consider Dracula a masterpiece of horror, even with its faults, idc.

The epistolary structure of it makes the horror progressive and building, despite the fact that alarm bells ring out every single second of Johnathan's stay at Chateau Drac. The various themes of temptation and danger and oh my god the danger followed me home oh god oh fuck are fascinating, and the human group is interesting (also Mina was done dirty).

But also, it's an inherently queer novel, which, as a queer person who loves horror, i adore. Bram Stoker was really fucking queer, but that's something he hated about himself and suppressed; it's no surprise that the count's entire character is so fruity in itself, he represents Stoker's own repressed queerness. Drac is, in the book, inherently sexual - the exchange of fluids to turn pure, virginal ladies into hot deadly sexy vampire seductresses, and the fact that he protects Johnathan from his brides and is always so... Like That with him makes him so interesting.

The scene where the count takes great offense at being told that he has never loved by one of his brides is one of my favorites in terms of characterization, because Dracula doesn't have any need to bullshit at that moment. He could've just told her to stfu and back off, or even let them eat Johnathan. But instead he gets offended because the remark hit a nerve. He wants to love and to be loved, but his methods are rather... unconventional and predatory to the Proper and Orthodox humans of the story. Rip Drac, you would've loved (and been loved by) today's monsterfuckers.

We're gonna ignore the fact that the supercool and awesome expert amazing professor Abraham Van Helsing is Stoker's self-insert and that he's the one that (or at least greatly helps the group) hunt down Dracula, the representation of unorthodox desire and sexy, vampiric existence.

Dracula in the Hellsing universe

Ok so this one is interesting.

First of all I want to address how fucking funny it is that Alucard tried to fuck both Mina and her husband and fumbled them both but that's a topic I think he'd get mopey and very bitter about so let's not.

Hellsing Dracula is really interesting. In the novel, we're not given the count's pov (why would we? He's the villain anyway.) but in Hellsing we do, and we get it very often. We know his childhood, his identity, but most importantly his philosophy and personality.

Alucard's personality changed a bit over the years:

Vlad was arrogant out of desperation and survival; he had to be strong, because if he's not then he'll be crushed and his prayers won't be heard by the god he worships with battle, and he "can't be defeated, ever." He can't afford to be.

Dracula was arrogant because he was powerful and unchained. He was the master, he was a monster not leashed by morality or conventionality and religion and even his body was above what a human could ever do. He knew he was a threat and he relished in it. How could any of those puny humans beat him? The Count Dracula? But they did.

Alucard is a snarky asshole that didn't lose any arrogance but it changed shape; it's not that he can't be defeated, it's by whom. He carefully chooses his fancied opponents and clings to them like a leech, at least emotionally, and puts them on this pedestal where they're the only ones who may. Any other fight is just to pass the time. Those sniveling cowards can't defeat him, but those proud human warriors can. And he's the one who decides what's worthy or not, because he's a top-tier level threat. (When he tried to stop Anderson from using the nail, he basically told him Anderson was created just to defeat him.)

But let's get back to Dracula here for a sec. That arrogance comes with any vampire because that's what they do, they're hot and sexy and broody and egotistical, stealing blood and beauty for their own sakes. But he's also really damn sad. I imagine that he gets bored after a while, after the novelty of cool supernatural tyranny wore off. The count has all reason to be confident; he's on top of the food chain in all aspects.

But what do you do when you're at the top?

You don't have anyone with you. Those brides are companions, not significant others, hell they're not even named in the novel or barely acknowledged by him. Those humans are prey, not equals. He can try to portray himself as basically animalistic, he has emotions and he doesn't like that he has emotions. He's just really fucking sad.

Like. This is literally the most pathetic man I've ever seen.

The fact that he doesn't seem to hold a grudge against Abraham and his crew - on the contrary, he seems to admire them and puts them on a pedestal - shows that he longed to be beaten. He was tired. He needed novelty.

Now i don't know what fucked up experiments Abraham did on that poor thing but clearly he wasn't as powerful as Alucard is, but I doubt that increase in power changed much of anything to be honest. Man is just as miserable as he was before, but now he actually has a purpose - he has someone to serve, a master, someone to cling to.

And boy does he cling to them.

He respects Abraham and Arthur, both men who've undeniably hurt him, Abraham with the experiments and Arthur by leaving him to rot for 20 years (understandable, yes, but still I wouldn't like it if that was me) and yet he's shown them great respect. It's almost Stockholm syndrome (something that I don't believe in and isn't backed by science, but the idea stands) and his idea of any kind of functional relationship is unfathomably fucked up.

I won't dwell on Alucard too much since this is about Dracula, but it's actually rather easy to piece together his mental state and outlook on life with the few pieces we got. Someone please come help this man.

That's that!

I would also like to shoutout to @catsvrsdogscatswin for their wonderful characterization of Dracula and Alucard altogether, but mostly in their fic Kaleidoscope, which is unironically and not hyperbole my favorite fic on ao3 up to date.

Seriously. Go check it out.

#hellsing #alucard #long post #dracula #bram stoker #ask response #i don't know if I got my point across

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ro-is-struggling · 1 year

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Finally, Ro's followers celebration!!!!! I'd like to request this prompt: Character A and Character B have feelings for each other but can't bring themselves to admit it. That is until they have to pretend to be a couple (for a mission, a family party, whatever) and end up kissing on more than one occasion. Their feelings for each other become evident and they end up confessing their feelings - but not before acting like a couple of nervous, awkward idiots {Brooklyn 99 2x23} with james potter! I want it to be fluffy, pls😩🥰 thank you. love u <3

Hi beautiful!! Of course my first request had to be from you💜💜💜

Thank you so much for participating! I'm so happy to start the celebration with your request💕 I had a lot of fun writing this one so I hope you like it!!

Undercover Mission || James Potter x Reader

Summary: An undercover mission for the Order of the Phoenix leads you and James to confront your repressed feelings for each other as you are forced to kiss to keep your covers from being blown.

Warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst, mutual pining, idiots in love, friends to lovers, humor, set after they graduated from Hogwarts

English is not my first language

Word count: 4900

Notes: I based this story on the episode of b99 from which I got the prompt, I hope you don't mind. I just think James and Jake are literally the same person so I couldn’t resist

"Are we sure we have the right guy?" you asked, the boredom and exhaustion clear in your voice. James, Sirius, Marlene and you had spent the last few hours trapped in an old van following a guy under suspicion that he was a Death Eater. Dumbledore believed he was transporting an important package for the Dark Lord and he wanted the Order of the Phoenix to intercept it before it reached its destination, but so far nothing interesting or remotely suspicious had happened.

"If Albus suspects him then there's gotta be a reason," James stated beside you, his eyes glued to the window as he kept an eye on his target.

"I know, but this dude hasn't done anything since we got here," you complained, letting your head fall back against the seat cushion. "Am I the only one who doesn't understand why he would be in the Muggle world if he wanted to do Death Eater shit? It doesn't make sense."

"Cause we wouldn't expect it," Sirius said from the driver's seat.

"Or they're planning an attack," Marleen muttered next to him and your heart stopped for a moment. You really hoped things wouldn't escalate to such a level. If they were planning something big you didn't know if the backup would arrive in time to stop them and save the lives of the innocent muggles caught in the line of fire.

"I don't think they are," James said, turning to look at you for a moment. His tone of voice was soft but determined, trying to control the situation and clear those ideas from his friends' minds —especially yours. "Albus would have heard something if that was their plan all along."

The van fell into silence for a few minutes as you waited for something to happen. The soft rock playing on the radio was the only thing that could be heard inside the vehicle, anticipation, fear, boredom and adrenaline a strange mix of feelings that affected the minds of the four young, newly graduated from Hogwarts. You were definitely too young and inexperienced to be participating in secret missions, but someone had to do it. Someone had to stand up and fight for what was right.

You drove through town for another hour following your target. The sun had already gone down when you parked on a nice, well-lit, but quiet street. Your target entered a restaurant at the end of the street and you let out an exclamation of joy as you finally got out of that old truck for a while to stretch your legs.

"Okay, we'll go in and keep an eye on him I'm case he makes the deal inside. You two stay here and wait for my signal" James instructed his friends as both you and he exited the vehicle. You took a moment to straighten your clothes, wrinkled after so many hours sitting in the car. It wasn't the nicest muggle outfit you had, but luckily the restaurant didn't seem to be too fancy so you'd be fine.

"Do you see him anywhere?" James asked once inside the establishment, scanning the crowded front desk for his target. You gently nudged him in the ribs to shut him up, nodding your head forward. His eyes followed your movement and he then discovered that just a couple of inches away was the man you had been following all day. He spoke to the woman at the front desk and was quickly escorted to a table inside the restaurant, leaving you behind without any visual of what he was doing.

"What's taking so long?" you complained in a mumble that only James could hear. "He could be making the deal right now."

"Should we use our wands?" suggested James. Using magic was risky, but it would get you a table at the restaurant in a matter of seconds.

"No, I have a better idea." Taking James by the hand, you walked up to the woman at the front desk to ask for a table. She informed you that the place was full and that you would have to wait for a table to clear before you could get in. But that was not an option for you, you had to get in and you had to get in now. So you held onto James' arm and smiling warmly you said, "Oh but we just got engaged and this is where we had our first date, isn't that right sweetie?"

James looked at you with wide eyes, surprised by your words. It took him a few seconds to respond, not because he didn't know what to answer but because he had been stunned to hear you call him by that affectionate nickname. He would be lying if he said he didn't want to hear you call him that for the rest of his life.

"Yes, yes! It was a beautiful night like this one. And special too. When you left the restaurant that night I knew you were the one, I just knew." James played along, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you close against his body as he spoke, looking at you with a smile on his lips and the distinctive glint of love shining in his eyes. It felt real, too real, so you looked away before losing yourself in his beautiful blue eyes. You were on an important mission and you had to concentrate. "I would have made a reservation but I didn't know if she was gonna say yes."

"Oh I love how nervous you were!" you exclaimed fondly, playfully tapping his nose and letting out a giggle. "You just had to see him, he was adorable," you added, standing on your tiptoes to reach up to give him a kiss on the cheek. James' heart raced, the blood in his whole body pooling in his cheeks as he struggled not to let his feelings for you show. He'd had a crush on you for a long time —since fifth year to be exact—, but you two had always been such good friends that he'd never gotten around to doing anything about it. He valued your friendship too much to risk losing it. That's why he had to control his heart or the mission wouldn't be the only thing that went wrong.

"You look so sweet together!" the receptionist exclaimed, watching you tenderly. "I'm sure I can find room for two young lovers."

"Yeah.. we are lovers… together... in bed" James muttered awkwardly, struggling to stop his imagination from running wild. He had pictured what his life with you might be like more times than he was proud to admit, but this wasn't the time or place to fantasize about your wedding or think about the name of your future child.

"Okay," you said with a smile, squeezing James' arm to shut him up as you watched the woman disappear inside the restaurant. "Keep it together, Potter. We need that table," you muttered just for him to hear. You knew it was weird for him to be in such an intimate and romantic situation with you. You had been friends for so long that you were pretty sure he saw you as a sister —a thought that made your heart clench painfully in your chest—, but he had to keep his cool for a few more minutes. Once at the table you could drop the act and laugh at how weird it was to imagine being married while keeping your target well guarded.

However, things proved to be more difficult than that.

The woman returned a few minutes later with a smile on her face. She led you to your table herself, wishing you a lovely evening and a happy marriage before returning to her desk. You barely had time to settle into your seats before the couple seated at the table next to yours showered you with congratulations on your engagement as well. It was an elderly couple who were there celebrating fifty years of marriage, so neither of you had the heart to ignore them.

"So, when did you guys meet?" the man asked you.

"Last year" you said without thinking, your eyes searching the crowd for your target.

"Five years ago" James stated at the same time, his gaze locked on the Death Eater dining alone a couple of tables away.

The elderly couple looked at you in confusion and you hurried to correct the mistake. "We met five years ago but we don't count that."

"Yeah, I was dating another girl at that time" James noted and technically he wasn't lying. When you met he was in love with Lily Evans and while you never officially dated, he had planned his entire life with her at that time.

"And I wasn't interested in dating," you laughed. "But a year ago we bumped into each other and we haven't been able to separate ever since."

"How sweet!" the woman exclaimed, looking at you fondly. She reminded you of your grandmother in some ways, which only made things weirder. It was hard not to get carried away with the role you were playing when fate seemed to be determined to make you imagine your perfect life at James' side. "How did you know she was the one?" the old lady asked your friend, looking at him expectantly.

James looked at you, panic written all over his face. "I'd love to answer that..." he stammered, trying to buy himself some time to think. He knew exactly how to answer that question, he had a memorized list of the things you did that made him fall in love with you, but he couldn't be honest. If he spoke from the heart he risked being exposed. "Just whenever I look at her face," he finished, unsure if it was the right thing to say.

"And what about you?" The woman directed her question at you this time.

Your eyes met James' as you contemplated your answer. For a second, you felt as if the world had ceased to exist, the chatter of the people around you getting quieter and quieter until it disappeared altogether. It was just you and him in that restaurant, looking into each other's eyes with an intimacy that felt different. You lost yourself deep in his eyes, looking straight into his soul as your mind went over all the things you adored about him.

"He makes me laugh" you replied honestly, putting a smile on James' face.

"And you know, there's really no one else's opinion who I care about more than hers," he added, feeling comfortable and confident enough to open up a bit.

The elderly couple went on to tell you a bit of their life story and as much as you found it adorable, neither of you were able to pay much attention. They could barely remember that they were on a mission, their eyes occasionally traveling to their target to make sure he wasn't doing anything suspicious. You were both too distracted, lost in your own thoughts as you repeated each other's words over and over in your heads. You knew you just were playing roles, but what you had said to each other, the knowing look you had shared, it all felt too real, too sincere. Of course you both dismissed it after spinning it around in your heads for a while, convincing yourselves that you were seeing things where there was nothing because for some reason you were the only two people in the world unable to see that you were in love.

The moment you were sharing was interrupted when you noticed your target getting up from the table. You kicked James lightly to get his attention, silently motioning for him to look at the Death Eater you were supposed to be watching. Excusing yourselves from the lovely old couple you had been chatting with for the last thirty minutes, you rose from the table and made your way to the back of the restaurant, following in your target's footsteps.

"Do you think he's going to meet his partner?" you spoke in a whisper so that no one but James would hear you.

"I don't know," he replied.

Just as the words left his lips, the man turned and made direct eye contact with you. Time stopped for a second, panic taking over as you realized you had been discovered. You had no reason to be there and you were pretty sure that the Death Eater had already seen you parked in front of him hours ago. He wasn't stupid, he would be able to put two and two together and then your mission would be ruined at best. At worst, you would have to fight to get the briefcase he was carrying, endangering the lives of many innocent Muggles.

But before the panic could fully take hold of you, you felt James' hands close around your waist. You turned to look at him, but you couldn't do or say anything because suddenly his lips crashed against yours. You didn't even take a second to question what was happening, letting the feeling of euphoria run through your body as you felt the caress of James' lips on yours. You lost yourself in him instantly, in the taste of his mouth, in the warmth of his body against yours, in the delicate way he held you in his arms. You were flying in the sky in complete bliss as you let James guide the kiss, struggling to keep up the peace.

But the moment ended as abruptly as it had begun, leaving you dazed and confused, missing James' lips the second they parted from yours.

"I'm sorry, I just- I didn't know what else to do," he spluttered awkwardly, his thoughts clouded by the scent of your perfume.

"No, it's okay," you hurried to say, struggling to form coherent sentences so as not to let him know how much his kiss had really affected you. "It's all good. We kept our cover intact, good job. Very quick thinking, very professional." You were tense and couldn't look him in the eye when you spoke, but neither could he so neither of you mentioned anything, opting to pretend nothing had happened as you went on with your mission.

"C'mon he's on the move" James announced as he climbed into the van once again. He kept his gaze straight ahead, his body rigid against the seat of the vehicle as if he was afraid to let go and end up accidentally touching you. He needed to keep his distance from you until he recovered his cognitive functions. His brain would never be able to process what had happened if your perfume kept assaulting his nostrils.

"So how was the restaurant?" Marlene asked you to fill the awkward silence that had formed. She could feel the tension in the air, a tension that wasn't there before you guys disappeared behind the restaurant doors. It was different from the tensions she was used to feeling when you and James were together, much more intense, and she couldn't help but wonder what had happened in there.

"Great! It was fine, totally normal and appropriate" you replied suspiciously quickly raising your voice to a higher pitch than usual. If she didn't suspect something had happened before, she definitely did now.

"What happened? Why are you being so weird?" Sirius asked, looking at you curiously through the rearview mirror.

"Y/N and I kissed" James confessed with a sigh, knowing it would be best to be honest with his friends. After all, it hadn't meant anything, had it? There was nothing strange about telling them the truth because you had nothing to hide. Strange would be if you kept it a secret.

"WHAT? Tell me everything!" Marlene exclaimed in a shout of joy, turning to see her friend in the back seat with a big smile on her face. She knew about your crush on James from day one and couldn't believe there was finally a breakthrough in your story. Sometimes Marlene felt like she was more involved in your little secret romance with James than you were yourself.

"Calm down! It was just to keep our cover from being blown, we didn't have a choice" you explained, feeling the blood from all over your body travel to your cheeks.

"Yeah, it didn't mean anything," James added, ignoring the stabbing pain that shot through his heart as he said it.

"I want details," her friend insisted and you rolled your eyes.

"Marlene, it was just a kiss, okay? It was nothing." Only it hadn't been just a kiss, not to you at least, but you weren't going to admit it in front of everyone —especially not James.

"Yeah, who cares about a kiss? Call me if you grab each other's asses" Sirius interjected from the driver's seat, a mischievous grin plastered on his lips. James reached out from behind his back and smacked him on the shoulder, a silent way of telling his friend that this was not the time for his jokes.

Marlene was going to continue pressing you for more details —you and James kissing was the most interesting thing that had happened to her that day—, but her attention was drawn back to the mission at hand when Sirius alerted you that your target had gotten out of the car and was walking towards a park. He still had the briefcase in his hand, but the streets were deserted which made you think he wasn't going to meet anyone that night, but to leave the package for someone else to pick up.

"Okay, you and Sirius follow him just in case he does meet with someone after this." you instructed Marlene, watching as your target returned to his car, without the briefcase in his hands this time.

"Right! And you and James follow your hearts" your friend replied with a smile.

"No!" you grumbled, giving Marlene a murderous look. "We're gonna stay with the package."

"And each other forever" she insisted and you swore she was doing it on purpose to spite you. You didn't even dignify her comment with a response, opting instead to exit the vehicle and slam the door a little harder than necessary. James followed you, crossing the street beside you to get to the park your target had come from.

You walked in silence, enjoying the quiet of the night. The place was deserted, something that was both good and bad. On the one hand it was good because if things went wrong at least there were no Muggles around who could get hurt. On the other hand it was bad because you had no way to hide so you wouldn't stand out. When the Death Eaters came to pick up the package they would see you, there was no doubt about that. You realized then that you would have to be quick if you wanted to catch them.

"Why can't we just take the briefcase and go?" James asked as he leaned back against a tree, his back to the bench next to where your target had left the hidden package.

"Because Albus wants to arrest everyone involved in this and for that we need the briefcase to exchange hands, otherwise there's no case." you explained and James grunted, hating having to stand there for who knows how much longer until someone showed up.

Neither of you spoke for a while, the weight of the silence and the tension in the air increasing your nerves. James' mind was riddled with doubts, fearing he had made a mistake by kissing you in the restaurant. You had told him that you understood why he had done it, assuring him that you had no issue with it, but it didn't feel like things were good between you. You were distant and tense, and you could barely look him in the eye. Regret was eating him up inside, knowing it was his fault that you felt uncomfortable around him.

"Hey, seriously, we're cool right?" James broke the silence forcing you to look away from the starry sky to face him.

"Yeah, totally," you nodded with a smile, hoping that was enough to calm him down. "We're fine." If only he knew that the reason for your strange behavior was that you were fighting the urge to take his face in your hands and kiss him one more time....

"Why do they have to schedule their drop off so late? Death Eaters have no respect for Auror's lives and times." James joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. You let out a chuckle and he felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. "I'm starving, we barely got to eat at that stupid restaurant."

"I know! Mr. and Mrs. Green were adorable but they couldn't stop talking" you said, remembering the chatty couple. You couldn't have been there more than forty minutes and somehow you knew when and where they had married, how they met, how many children they had and the names of their grandchildren. "I'm craving ice cream as weird as it might be considering how late it is."

"It's not weird at all, you always crave sweets at these hours, that's why you have trouble sleeping."

"You know what I really want to get right now?"

"Cookies and cream?" said James, more as a statement than a question. "It's your favorite, isn't it? Especially for times like this. I'm assuming you already have one in the freezer waiting for you to celebrate."

"Y-yes," you nodded in surprise. You weren't surprised that he knew what your favorite ice cream flavor was —you had been friends for years, that was normal—, you were surprised at how quickly and confidently he had spoken, leaving you no time to say anything before answering for you. He remembered your silly tradition of celebrating the little good things in life with your favorite flavor of ice cream even though it was something you usually did alone. It was a small, insignificant detail, but it made you feel appreciated. He remembered.

"I brought one too if you want to spend the night at my place after this is all over. We can celebrate together." You were going to tell him how much you appreciated his sweet gesture and how he was the one person you wanted to celebrate your victories in life with, but the words died in your throat when you noticed a man approaching the briefcase they had been guarding for the last fifteen minutes.

"James, he's looking at us," you tried to warn him discreetly, but your friend was too distracted rambling on about the different flavors of ice cream and which ones were the best. "Well, this is happening," you murmured, taking James' face in your hands and leaning in to join your lips in a kiss.

You were the one in control this time, dictating the intensity of the kiss, guiding the movements of James' lips on yours. He was too surprised to do more than try to keep up with the pace of your lips. His hands settled on your hips instinctively, pulling you tight against his body as he allowed himself to lose himself in your mouth for a moment. The mission, his doubts, the tension, all was forgotten as he melted under your caresses.

Though his bliss was cut short when you suddenly pulled away, taking your wand and pointing it at the man who had picked up the briefcase. Reality hit him like a train, his brain working twice as hard to regain its functions so he could end this mission once and for all.

The Death Eater didn't give up without putting up a fight, pulling out his wand and casting spell after spell in your direction as he tried to escape. Neither of you recognized who your attacker was, which frightened you a little because it meant that the Dark Lord had more followers than the Order of the Phoenix expected or even knew about. Still you didn't let that affect you, fighting shoulder to shoulder until you incapacitated your unknown attacker.

"An empty diary?" you said in disbelief as you stared at the mysterious object inside the briefcase you had fought so hard to obtain. "We did all that for an empty diary?"

"It has to be important," James interjected as he used an incantation to restrain the Death Eater's wrists. "They wouldn't do all this for an insignificant empty diary. Albus will know what to do."

“I’m exhausted!” you exclaimed the moment you crossed the entrance threshold of James' house, dropping dramatically onto the couch. It had been a long day, but at least things had turned out well. Both Death Eaters were in custody awaiting trial for their crimes. Thanks to you the army of he who shall not be named had two less soldiers, and as insignificant as it seemed, it was a victory for everyone.

"We can go to sleep if you're tired and leave the ice cream for tomorrow" James said, knowing full well what your response would be.

"Never!" You jumped off the couch, running to the kitchen in search of the ice cream. James let out a laugh, shaking his head as he followed closely behind you. While you took the ice cream out of the freezer he grabbed spoons and a couple of bowls so you could share the frozen dessert without fighting over the pot.

After making a short toast celebrating your victory you engaged in casual conversation while enjoying the ice cream. You didn't even bother to go to the couch, settling into the kitchen without a problem. You sat on the counter next to the sink, swinging your legs playfully as you ate your ice cream. James stood next to you, leaning back on the counter with his body leaning slightly to the side so he could look at you better as you talked. He had a big smile on his face as he listened to you list the reasons why the cookies and cream ice cream was the best of all, completely enamored with the passion with which you addressed such trivial topics as ice cream flavors.

He loved everything about you, even the things you saw as flaws. There was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to tell you how he felt about you, to hold you in his arms and kiss you until he couldn't feel his lips. But he knew he couldn't -he shouldn't-, your friendship was the most important thing to him and he couldn't lose it for anything in the world.

"I'm sorry for kissing you today," he apologized, breaking the small silence that had formed. "I hope it doesn't make things weird between us."

"Oh no don't worry about it," you downplayed it. "And I'm sorry for kissing you too."

"You know I care about you, right?" James put his empty ice cream bowl on the counter, turning completely around so he could look you in the eyes. You nodded your head slightly, losing yourself in the shine in his eyes. Those damn eyes of his!

"I value our friendship, what we have is something special and I wouldn't want to see it ruined for a stupid decision I made under pressure." There was truth in his words, but there was also pain. He didn't want to ruin your friendship, but he also didn't want to keep being just your friend. He didn't regret kissing you, at least not entirely. A part of him would always be glad he did because no matter what, now he knew what your lips felt like on his.

"Yeah, I get it... Our friendship is the most important thing to me too," you said, but you couldn't stop your eyes from lowering to James' lips. He was too close to you, you could smell his cologne every time you breathed, feel his body heat tickling your side. You couldn't think straight, only feel the devastating weight of longing to feel his lips on yours. If you concentrated hard enough you could still taste his mouth and feel the ghost of his fingers caressing your hips.

James didn't miss the way your eyes locked on his lips, unconsciously leaning closer and closer to you. A rebellious hand slid over your leg, caressing your thigh gently. Your gaze returned to his eyes then and James saw in them a special glow he had never noticed in them before. It was desire. You wanted him. You were as desperate to feel your lips together as he was. And now that he knew it, he didn't plan to leave you wanting for another second.

Once again he took it upon himself to close the little distance that separated you, bringing your lips together in a kiss full of desperation and repressed feelings. And even though this was the third time you had been in that situation that day, this time it felt different. This kiss was not the product of an impulsive decision made in the heat of the moment. No, this was a kiss that was long overdue, the product of the conscious decision of two people who had repressed their feelings for too long. And that made it taste that much sweeter, it made everything that much more special.

And as James lost himself in the warmth of your body wrapped around his he knew that things between you would never be the same again, but that was a good thing.

#james potter x reader #james potter x fem reader #james potter fluff #james potter angst #james potter imagine #james potter #harry potter imagines #marauders imagine #ro's 600 followers celebration

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year

Text

Heart's Vocalization Thoughts and Feelings

Hello and welcome to another round of Moonlight Chicken Posts That Literally No One @respectthepetty Specifically Asked For:

Heart Edition Round ?? i've lost count.

Mx. RTP may have gotten me hooked on red/blue through clothing but my first and truest love will always be lighting so I need everyone, but especially Professional Life Ruin-er Formerly Known as "Petty" (you're my best friend now, sorry I don't make the rules), to understand that this specific lighting ruined my life. Like on a cellular level, my body is a wasteland, my mind will never recover. Stepping in from the outside world, from Heart's world, Heart's life, Heart's home in to the rich, red, warmth of Li Ming's world, Li Ming's home. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, if my memory serves me correctly we never see Heart in warm lighting until the end of Episode 4, and we definitely don't see Heart in red lighting until Episode 5. Up until this point when Li Ming and Heart are together, there is always blue lighting on them, and especially when they are in Heart's home there is always a blue wash on the whole scene. So finally, finally we get red lighting babyyyyyy, fuck yeah!

Ok, sorry, I'm normal again.

Initial thoughts going in to the actual scene are as follows: 1. Stripes, my beloved! 2. Heart is so head over heels for Li Ming it's ridiculous.

Anyway, I love the small little smile that Heart has on his face here when Li Ming is essentially giving him an 'I told you so' to Heart about asking his Mom. I know that Li Ming sees Heart earlier on in the episode, but he isn't present for the conversation between Li Ming and his mother so regardless of whether he knows that Li Ming talked to her, I don't think he knows the specifics. But he follows this comment up with "You're smart. You can persuade her." Obviously he knows that something happened because Heart's mother has never listened to her son before, why would she start now?

So! Much! Red! Lighting! They are in love your honor. I am so grateful for every moment we get to see of Li Ming and Heart alone together having fun. They may be on the edge of adulthood, but there is still so much repressed youth in them that has been dying to get out and can't because it's been contained by parental shame, by the need to work to survive, by the nature of generational gaps and unsuccessful attempts to protect your loved ones.

When Heart and Li Ming are by themselves (with the exception of the post confrontation mental breakdown session in Ep. 5) there is so much joy between them. And look at Li Ming, he is so proud of himself here, for successfully persuading Heart's mother to let Heart leave the house. They don't have to sneak out anymore, Heart's parents are finally starting to understand that they can't make their son problem go away if they just keep Heart cooped up.

Once again like father-figure uncle like nephew, Li Ming has found himself a love interest that is also obsessed with the family cat. Honestly, this cat is living the dream, all he has to do all day is be held for approximately 30 seconds and get fed a fuck ton of treats. So far this scene is just very cute, Heart taking in his surroundings, attaching himself immediately to the cat, absolutely bathed in red light. And there is something so simple I love about the set up this moment brings to the important turning point that immediately follows...

Heart's holding the cat with both his hands. He can't text or sign.

Side Note: I am curious if Thai sign language has finger spelling.

And here we go! Heart speaks, not just vocalizes, it's not an exclamation of surprise, it's not a shuddering breath, or a sob. It's not a squeak or random sound Heart makes because he can't hear how loud he is being. Up until this point, every time we have heard a sound from Heart it has been unintentional. This is the first time we hear Heart speak. And importantly, he doesn't have to. He doesn't have to say anything. There isn't anything urgent, nothing that would require a sound to get Li Ming's immediately attention. He doesn't need to say Jimbo's name, literally right before this he looked at Li Ming and pointed to the cat. He could have ended the acknowledgement there. But he doesn't. He speaks. And he absolutely does not look at Li Ming while he does it. He keeps his eyes trained firmly on the cat in front of him.

I stole this gif from @earthpirapat because I don't know how to make them, and because I need anyone who reads this to see Li Ming's reaction in this moment. He is also looking at Jimbo, because he, like the audience, believes that Heart is going to end his acknowledgement of the cat's name by pointing to the cat. Li Ming is content to watch his friend play with his cat, and that's all he is expecting. Until "yyim-" tickles his ear, and Li Ming's head snaps straight up to Heart's face. You can tell how surprised he is at the way he pulls his head back a bit more to really look at Heart. To make sure that what just happened is actually real when he says "bo".

And I think it's important to know that Heart does not really seem hesitant to speak. He just...does it. What he is hesitant to do is look at Li Ming. He waits a full two seconds after he's said "Jimbo" to look up from the cat he is holding in his arms.

But he has nothing to worry about because when his eyes go to Li Ming, what does he see?

A puppy dog of a man, radiating excitement. Li Ming is beaming. It's funny to me a little bit that the thought has never seemed to cross Li Ming's mind that Heart, who only went deaf three years ago, is actually able to speak. But nevertheless he is thrilled.

"You can speak?" he asks, and he's chuckling a little and pausing and you can see all the gears in his head turning as he signs because it's like his whole worldview just got rocked. And GOD I love this moment so much because from the second that Heart speaks Li Ming's eyes never leave Heart. Or if they do it is literally an unconscious thing that is happening when he's trying to remember his signs. Heart puts Jimbo down and Li Ming literally folds his body in half, to follow Heart's movement, bends over to tap him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can speak?" he says again.

"Yeah? Can you speak again? I want to hear." he asks, and he's baffled. He's losing his signs. Like he is signing successfully to Heart, sure, but it's taking him much longer to create his sentence than it normally does because he's still in such shock over what just happened. That Heart can speak, that he heard his voice. His brain cannot keep up with his emotions.

The face of a man verrryyyy skeptical that his voice would be that exciting for anyone to hear.

"I"

"Want"

"To Hear"

"Your Voice"

I have no thoughts. I have no notes for this. It is just an incredibly powerful moment to me in furthering Li Ming as a safe zone for Heart, as someone trusted and precious. Each sign is deliberate. This is a deliberate request. This isn't a question built on surprise, "wait wait do it again" this is specific. "I want to hear your voice"

Look how pleasantly surprised Heart is. Look how happy, how bewitched he is in this moment. A few weeks back, I wrote a post analyzing Heart's communication. At the time I wrote it, I was doing a lot of speculating about Heart and his ability to talk and what it meant for the character if he could versus if he couldn't. The tl;dr version was me essentially wondering how much agency Heart has over his own isolation. Is he capable of talking and chooses not to to test the people around him, maintaining control of his own isolation, with speaking as a lifeline, or because Thai is a tonal language did he lose the ability to speak because not being able to hear might impede his ability to make distinct tones. Either way he has the ability to talk, it's a matter of whether or not he could be understood if he did vocalize his words.

I got a pretty quick reply from @littlederxxnged with a link to this Tweet quoting P'Aof and Heart's voice:

And if this quote is real, if the reason Heart doesn't speak is because he lacks the confidence to, this makes the scene all the more important and all the more wonderful for me. Because it's showing us, the audience, that Li Ming makes Heart feel confident. Li Ming makes Heart brave.

And I love that I don't get a sense of fear from Heart in any of this. Surprise? Yes. Confusion? Yes. Skepticism? A bit. Hesitation? Absolutely. But it doesn't seem to come from a place of fear. Heart is not afraid of using his voice around Li Ming, and he is never afraid of what Li Ming's reaction will be. He certainly has no idea what Li Ming's reaction will be, but it shows how much trust these two have built in one another, that Heart feels safe enough with Li Ming to test his voice.

I don't know if Heart will speak again the show. I don't care if he does. Speaking is not his primary language anymore and he doesn't owe his voice to anyone. I just want to establish that before I say I find it so much more special that Heart says his own name, rather than Li Ming's here. Why? Because the way I interpret Heart's character at this point is a man who is far more certain about what he wants out of life, now that he is able to live his life again. We get to hear Heart's name, we get to hear Heart speak for himself.

Something really cute about this moment as well is Li Ming's reaction. "I heard you just say your name!" I love that he signs to Heart what he heard. I love it so much. We know that Heart is hesitant to speak, and it takes him a second to get the word out, and I'm sure he can feel the vibrations of his vocal chords when he says his name, but he can't hear it. Li Ming is SO obviously happy, so obviously thrilled.

But this is about Heart, Li Ming's feelings have nothing to do with it. Okay, Li Ming's feelings have everything to do with it for Heart. But Li Ming's initial, gut-reaction response to hearing Heart, hesitantly say his name, is to hype the ever-loving FUCK out of that boy.

"You're great! You're awesome! How can you speak? You're so great. I'm happy." and GOD Heart can't even hear him say it. Li Ming isn't signing here, I mean he is very obviously happy, and very obviously showering Heart in praise. But Heart cannot hear him. For most of the hug he can't even read Li Ming's lips. But the pride, the joy, the excitement is so palpable. He's jumping up and down, you don't really need to hear his words to feel how happy he is about what just happened.

He pulls back "How could you do it? I'm happy. Can you see? I'm so happy," He is talking so fast. He is talking so so fast. He cannot contain himself. But he has integrated himself so much into Heart's life, that despite the fact that he is fully forgetting to sign here, he is touching Heart, he is jumping up and. down with Heart, he is showing Heart how much being trusted with his voice means to him.

Sweet baby angel, you are talking so fast. He sees a bunch of words coming out of your mouth but does not hear what you are saying. And he looks confused because he definitely did not anticipate this strong of a positive reaction to just saying his name. Especially when you consider he isn't confident in his voice. He looks confused because he almost certainly did not anticipate this outcome.

(Ignore the subtitles on that second picture, focus on Heart's smile)

Does Heart owe us his voice? No. Did we ever need to know if he could speak? No. Does this moment hit particular hard after the confrontation scene last episode concerning the use of the term "mute" in reference to Heart. Absolutely. We saw how much it hurt Heart to learn his mother refers to him as mute.

We know Heart has to beg Li Ming to even tell him what she said, Heart can see how much Li Ming hesitated to deliver that blow. He saw how strongly Li Ming was standing against his parents, he's a smart kid. He might not be able to follow the full conversation cause it's happening quickly, and they are shouting which fucks with lip shape to read lips, and Li Ming and his mother are both facing away from him. But he knows his mother said something bad, he knows Li Ming defended him.

It is so so so so so SO important to me that Heart decides to speak in this moment. That he uses his voice casually, to say a cat's name, in private, with just the two of them.

Heart's voice is not a commodity, it's not a novelty. It's a gift. And Li Ming treats it as such. Heart is being vulnerable with Li Ming. Heart hasn't spoken to anyone in three years, and when he does speak in front of Li Ming for the first time Li Ming literally cannot contain his joy. I love how many times the camera cuts to Heart's face in this, to show us to tell us that Heart loves this. That he is surprised by it, but that he is more than happy to speak again, that he is smiling the whole time because he knows how important it is to Li Ming. Because it's important to him too.

If you finished this whole post, congratulations you have won an invisible medal.

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