#nice exaggerated features

[scarecrowbutch]

watched this movie for the first time last night ✨

#my art #jooj wanted to see him in my style and well .. how could i refuse ... #preminger #LOL #hes very fun to draw i will admit #nice exaggerated features

[fuckingguide]

And the shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light, and everything you thought you knew will fall apart, but you’ll be all right | Nandor the Relentless + Constellations by The Oh Hellos

the thesis of this video can be boiled down to this: Nandor is, fundamentally, a man who is struggling to cope with the realisation that while he has stayed the same for years, the world around him has been changing without his say so. he clings to what he's always known - for example his image as a relentless warrior - and the boxes he's put people in, without realising that these things don't quite fit him anymore. and when he does start to make an active effort to make a change, despite having every good intention, things rarely work out for him because, often, what he's seeking out in new places, he actually already has. all he needs to do is look around himself and see things in a new light to realise it.

(this vid only uses footage from the first 3 seasons btw, you don’t need to be caught up with the latest eps to watch it)

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #nandor the relentless #everyone else also features in this but the focus is on nandor #it's about the found family #if the last third especially the audio seems a bit nandermo heavy it's because NONE OF THE OTHER VAMPIRES EVER SAY ANYTHING NICE smh #do you know how much time i spent looking for a clip of any of the others saying anything remotely loving about nandor #i found some nadja in the end but had to give up on laszlo #it's so frustrating I KNOW YOU GUYS LOVE EACH OTHER CAN YOU MAYBE SAY IT OUT LOUD ONCE PLEASE #anyway thank you guillermo for carrying the entire 'nandor actually has a family that loves him and is there for him' section on your back #where would i be without your speeches about family #this video has been (and this is not an exaggeration) six months in the making #i started it at the end of january bc i really wanted to explore nandor's character and then i got SO STUCK #but hey we made it in the end! i'm pretty happy with how this came out 😊 #and i think the message i was trying to convey is pretty clear while still leaving room for thought #hope you guys enjoy it!!! #nandor is such a fascinating character i love to analyze him and rotate him in my head #i'm excited to see how his arc continues in the coming seasons. you can do it baby you're so close to realising your family is right there!! #edits.mp4 #video.mp4 #oh btw i'm still not super happy with the video quality on tumblr so i've also uploaded this to youtube (link in the caption) #eventually i'll also upload everything else there too

[spider-man-2o99]

while i guess one could make the excuse of tyler’s scrawny-ass genes affecting miguel, there is NO excuse to make gabriel a skinny little twink when u take into account the combined stocky- and largeness of conchata and george o’hara. i mean. george alone was the size of an actual fridge

#talking tag #spider-man 2099 #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #gabriel o'hara #deliberately not tagging their parents as a sign of flagrant disrespect to them both for different individual reasons #...mostly just im lazy and i doubt anybody will ever be trawling for Content abt those two #but. like. anywho #i LIKED how in the 90s run miguel still had full cheeks and a strong-featured square head!! #have you SEEN conchata's features like. it just does not seem at all probable for her to have not one but TWO hollow-cheeked kids #rick gave them all nice faces actually and i miss getting to see his sm2099 art #well #''nice'' #they were very good from a character design perspective nice and distinct without being too insanely exaggerated to be distracting #but i wish the brothers could've had more interesting body types!! give me a damn superhero with body fat goddamnit #gimme a mig with love handles and big thigs nd a soft stomach whose body developed for years without spider influence #gimme a gabri who's still got baby fat and doesn't get out much because It's The Future and outside is hell #just gimme SOMETHIN seeing all-defined-muscles all the time is BORING

[hyewka]

warnings. sub!tyun, noona!reader, desperate shit, degrading, use of whore/slut, handjob

flirt freshman!taehyun who, even if he looks polite and at times would even be described as cute, is definitely a heartbreaker. stringing along, fucking, then ghosting.

you see right through his nice guy act when he subtly hits on you, flashing you his white pearls, blinding smile that show off his dimpled cheeks and the way his eyes form into crescents, his simple charms almost, almost having an effect on you. but you know better, you’ve already passed this chapter of your life, getting yourself fucked over by cute assholes. so you reject any and all advances that he makes on you, even as so far as to completely ignore him whenever he addresses you in a group setting.

you wanted to protect yourself, because again, you knew better. but what you dont realize is how often your blatant rejections have been either straight up cruelly humiliating or just plain harsh to the younger boy. not until you’re stuck with taehyun as you awkwardly wait in the car for your friends.

“why dont you like me?” he starts, quiet as he looks out the window. you turn to look at him, a little astonished that he decided to confront you. then you quickly recollect yourself, clearing your throat.

“who told you that?”

he scoffs, a sneer retching his expression. “you’re kidding aren’t you? i don’t think i know anybody more repulsed with me than you. everyone can see it. you almost jumped out of the car when they told you i was going to sit in the back tonight.”

it’s like hes been keeping all of his thoughts behind a lock with how fast everything spilled out of his mouth and you take in a breath. “okay now that’s an exaggeration.”

“not really.”

then it falls silent again, hearing the distant horns of cars and you awkwardly shift. he’s right, its not.

then suddenly, his eyes shift from the window to you, and the eye contact catches you off guard, you can make out the slight furrow of his brows and the small pout that rests on his lips—you’ve never seen him look like that. you avert your gaze almost immediately.

but he’s still staring. and it has you nervously tapping your finger on your lap.

“i like you, noona.”

your eyes widen a little. not because of the confession, you knew it was coming eventually. something about this variation of gentleness with his voice that you don’t think you’ve quite heard…ever coming from a man has your heart beat just a little faster. noona? its nothing new coming from taehyun, but your hands still slight dig into the fabric of your skirt. “if that wasn’t already obvious enough.” he says bitterly with a non humored laugh.

you spend the entire night, staring at your blank empty google doc, wallowing in all thoughts related to taehyun. it kind of pisses you off that he’s managed to chip a little away from your wall, you usually disperse any thought that comes up in your head that has to do with him. but now you choose to give yourself a leeway, just a little to think over whether he was being genuine, and whatever happened in the car was taehyun serving his heart on the platter to be so…vulnerable, or if it was just the last trick up his sleeve to lure you in like a toy he can’t have.

but then you remember the little features—the way his brows slightly turned up, the way his bottom lip instinctively stuck out, just a tiny bit—the way his eyes twinkled, just somewhat, as cliché as it is to say, it felt genuine, real.

when taehyun sends you a text that night, with a string of other unread messages from weeks or days ago before it—you come to the conclusion that he likes you, really likes you.

sorry, ignore what i said today

i don’t want you feeling uncomfortable around me any more than you do

your heart swells a little, simultaneously feeling the guilt conscience slowly creeping up on you. maybe you really did misread him this entire time.

so imagine your surprise when the next time you see taehyun, a week later, it’s at a frat party, looking down at a girl clinging onto his arms with those same twinkling eyes, smile, dimples, gentle look—eventually laughing then biting down on his lips as he looks away, the red on tips of his ears making you fume more than you’d admit. you don’t know what it was, what exactly made you insane enough to stomp over to him in long strides, wobbly pushing through the drunks, seeing red as you grab taehyun by the arm when he’s of reach—the surprised look on his face only lasting for a second before you furiously turn around, dragging him away from the confused girl that he was getting way too flirty with.

he could’ve easily shaken off your grip, it was weak, but he followed, he let you take him, only when you push him in a non occupied room and lock the door does he finally say something.

“hey, what the fuck was that—”

then you go for it. throwing all logical justifications and reasoning, you pull him into you harshly by the collar of his shirt, crashing your lips onto his. you don’t know what you expected, up to now it felt like you’ve been on airplane mode, but you know it wasn’t what taehyun returns. even if youre the one who came onto him first, he kisses back even more passionately, leaning into you, so quick to be receptive, hands going up to your cheeks as he lets you walk him hard into the door, latching onto your lips as if its a taste of a drug that has him hooked right from the first dose.

he’s so…desperate, it scares you, and turns you on at the same time. every time you try to pull away a little he reels you back almost immediately following your lips, the kiss becoming open mouthed as he breathes in and gets more and more messy, sloppy—he’s so sloppy, it’s the last thing you expected from him.

you finally manage to pull away, both of you catching your breath, with his lips glistening and red, mouth agape, chest heaving, up and down as he stares stunned.

“wha—um, so—fuck, sorry, no wait—” hes stumbling over his words. again, something taehyun never does. whenever hes spoken to you, it always felt so calculated, like every word hes thought over, because it felt so perfect. hes always collected.

you clasp your hand over his mouth, weakly, but he stills shuts up his ramble and jumble of words, blinking at you, with those god damn adorable brown eyes.

“kindly, shut the fuck up.”

his brows twitch a little, but he’s still silent.

your eyes search for something in his, you don’t know what, but it feels like you’ve gotten a green light, sighing. “i wanna fuck you.”

“shit.” he marvels, feeling his breath against your palm, his eyes still just as wide. you don’t know what exactly he’s thinking but if the dick already poking against your thigh was any indication, it was that he wanted it. really bad.

you slip your hand off his lips, then you whisper, fixated on how plump they are, “open your mouth.”

he blinks confused, hesitant until you take it upon yourself to rub your thigh against the tent in his pants, having him almost immediately buckle as he lets out a sinful groan. you should know he’s probably not into what you’re into, so you ease into it, testing the waters as you press yourself flush against him, rubbing your leg up and down against his clothed dick. “feel good?”

“y-yeah, shit, noona, please touch me.”

“i am touching you,” you swipe your hand over his bottom lip, fuck, they really are pretty. and so kissable. you’re shocked you haven’t kissed them sooner.

“no, i want your hand.”

you scoff, he’s so confident with what he wants, and so demanding. bratty. he’s probably so used to dominating. “this isn’t enough? me getting off your crusty dick isn’t enough for you? you’re feeling good, aren’t you?”

you press harder and with no consent of his own, his breaths knocked out of him, a slight squeak by the end that has his ears running red again. your thumb slips into his mouth, easing into it, slowly, before you fully press on his tongue as the friction of your knees against his cock gets more and more frantic and torturous. “you tell me you like me then decide i’m not worth the headache, a week later you run off to another innocent girl you’ll try to break the heart of after getting your fill. someone needs to keep you in check for becoming such an asshole, no? do you have no shame?” you mock, feeding him another finger in his mouth so he can’t retort like you know the smartass in him would do.

he sucks on them, surprising you as you feel his tongue licking eagerly…fuck, how badly did you misread him?

but you can tell with the way his eyes involuntarily water, and the way he shakes his vehemently, he still has the audacity to deny everything.

you scoff, slipping them out of his mouth, string of his saliva coating your fingers and shoving that hand down his pants, promplty grabbing his dick, marveling at the soft, wet feel. he already spilled so much pre-cum—slut. he likes this.

“you don’t like me, you have no right to be jea—hahhh..fuck, you can’t be jealous, you c-can’t. shit, faster, faster please noona, noona…” he whines, delirious as he gets lost at the feeling of your hand, bucking his hips, clearly getting frustrated with how irritatingly slow you’re tugging at his dick.

“i don’t. i don’t like you. i don’t like slutty men who’re bad.”

he whimpers, and fuck does that noise have you pooling your underwear.

“how have i been bad? how? i’m always good to you, i always—”

you twist your hand a little and his head immedietely falls back against the door, mouth hung open as he lets out pathetic, needy pants, “fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“like it? is it how you imagined it’d feel to have my hands wrapped around your cock?” you press, kissing down his jawline, hand letting out wet sounds as you jerk him off with more speed

“yes, yes, so much better noona, so much—” he chokes on his own words when you suck on his neck, feeling him let out shuddering breaths. cute.

when you use your other hand to trail up under his shirt, feeling up his muscle, you can hear him gulp, and for whatever reason, it turns you on even more.

“fuck, you’ve been trying to dom me, haven’t you?” he breathes out.

you let out an airy laugh out of your nose, grazing your thumb over his nipple, the hitch of his breath being your undoing. “i have been domming you—this entire time. what, don’t like it when a womans in charge?”

he shakes his head immediately, “no, no, i like it. i really do, i like it a lot. i like it when its you, noona.”

even when you have his mind sent to overdrive, he still knows exactly what to say to have your heart racing, it’s dangerous.

“hm?” you hum, throat dry, trying to forget the comment thats repeating over and over in your head. he likes it when its you. you scoff a laugh, “you really know how to get a girl going huh?”

“would treat you right. give me a chance noona, i’ll treat you like a queen.”

“a queen?” you laugh, then pretend to ponder on it as you play with his bud more, his dick leaking through your hand—he’s enjoying it all too much. “think would like goddess more.”

he moans wantonly when you thumb his tip, then transitioning to jacking off his shaft in frantic speed, it gets him delirious. “goddess, goddess, fuck—i’ll treat you like a goddess baby, swear.”

“sure you wouldn’t ghost me?”

his breath hitches again, head dipping into your shoulder, jaw practically hung open, mix of moans and whines spilling out of his mouth dumbly—who would’ve thought, huh? “never. so pretty, you’re so pretty and smart, and and—”

“such a slut, just want your dick touched and you’ll say anything.”

you feel him shake his head, still panting heavily as he grabbles onto you for support. he’s clingier than you expected, he holds onto you so often.

“faster…faster please, ‘m sososo close.” he sobs, his shaky breath fanning on your shoulder.

you chuckle, giving him what he wants, the wet squelching sounds heightening until he breaks. “gonna—gonna-” he spills before he could even finish his sentence, with a high pitched noise he cums in his pants, no doubt creating a big stain in the area of his crotch.

well, shit.

but when he lifts his head, a dopey smile on his face, eyes glazed over still, you think he might not mind all too much.

############

note. long overdue sub taehyun and a noona smut from me 🙏 did they fuck. no. will there be a future continuation of this au. perhaps.

#txt smut #sub!txt #sub!idol #taehyun smut #taehyun hard thoughts #taehyun hard hours #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt x reader #yeonjun smut

[pucksandpower]

Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

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u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

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u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

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u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

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u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

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u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

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r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

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u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

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u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

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u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

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u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

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u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

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r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

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u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

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u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

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u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

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r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

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u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

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u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

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u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

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u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

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r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

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u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

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u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

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u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

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u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

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r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

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u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

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u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

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u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

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[vanteguccir]

Safari girl | Chris Sturniolo

Chris Sturniolo x reader

Summary: Where Y/N is the tour guide for the Sturniolo Triplets on their safari trip.

Warning: None.

Requested?: No.

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N was the type of girl passionate about wild animals, having spent her entire childhood and adolescence reading different books and watching millions of documentaries about each species. She felt comfortable around them, like she was finally home.

So it was no surprise to her family and friends when she got her first job at age 17 on a safari, and not just any safari, but the one in San Diego. She started as a simple intern and progressed through the ranks until she officially became, at the age of 20, the head tourist guide of the place.

So it wasn't news to her when she was chosen by the safari owner to be the tour guide for three famous YouTubers who paid to have 24 hours of the space just for them.

Despite finding it a bit exaggerated to have an entire safari to themselves, the girl was excited to meet them and be able to spend more time than usual explaining everything she knew about each animal that interested them.

Y/N spent the entire early morning walking around the different animal places, checking if everything was in its right place and organized as it should be, wanting the safari to be in perfect condition to be enjoyed and recorded.

The girl arrived at the zipline point 5 minutes late. It was no surprise, considering her stop in the tiger area, which she loved with all her being.

"Hi!" Y/N greeted as she approached the three figures already being prepared by the equipment. "You must be the Sturniolo, right?" She began, offering her hand to the one in the white jacket, who was already ready and closest to her. He shook it happily, giving her a wide smile.

"Are you our tour guide?" He asked hopefully, receiving a nod from the girl, who returned the smile. "Awesome, I'm Nick, and this is Matt and Chris." The boy pointed to the other two, making Y/N look at them quickly.

She felt a chill run up her spine and her heart skip a beat as she met Chris's eyes, he was obviously very similar to his brothers, but very different at the same time, and his unique features were what captivated Y/N instantly.

The girl forced herself to smile quickly, afraid of leaving an awkward atmosphere by staring at him, raising her hand to properly greet the other two.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N, and I will accompany you during the first hours of your 24 hours of safari." Y/N spoke, traveling her eyes across the three of them. "Now you will go through the zipline, and then we will enter the safari! Don't worry, the trip is super safe, and the instructors are very qualified." The girl explained as she gestured with her hands, briefly pointing to the staff who would help them down.

The boys quickly thanked her, Chris giving her a big smile as he nodded at her words, appearing to be excited.

She walked away momentarily, letting them talk to each other and to the camera - which she only then noticed a fourth person holding and filming them.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"Oh, Y/N! I see her, that's our guide." Chris exclaimed to the camera, quickly turning towards the girl and skidding down the slope, walking at a fast pace. "Hi, Y/N!" He spoke loudly as he approached, smiling big and waving his right hand, followed by his brothers.

The girl - who had her back to them - quickly turned around when she heard her name being called, a smile instantly appearing on her face when she saw Chris approaching her, her heart beating faster. Yes, she had a crush on the boy she was going to guide on the safari where she worked.

"Hi Chris, boys!" She greeted, waving and waiting for them to come closer.

"Before we start, is it okay for you to be filmed and appear on our channel? We're doing these 24 hours, especially for our subscribers, so we want to film as much as possible." Nick asked, pointing at the camera briefly.

"Oh, sure! No problem." Her response came gently, her eyes traveling to the camera. "Well, we have a lot of animals that we can visit today, but given the schedule, some will stay for tomorrow. Like the tiger-"

"Do you have a tiger?" Chris turned to her, eyes wide and mouth open in disbelief.

The girl smiled at his cuteness, nodding her head.

"Yes, we have." A feeling of pride filled her chest. She loved talking about her tigers. "But today we'll see more animals released, and tomorrow we'll see the ones that need to be locked up, okay?"

She stopped, waiting for the three of them to agree.

"Did you guys hear that?" Chris asked in a whisper-like shout, shaking Nick slightly with his enthusiasm.

"Yes, kid, we heard." The older man responded with a smile, rolling his eyes and patting Chris's hand on his arm.

"Any questions before we continue on?" Y/N asked, looking at them quickly.

"No questions!" The three responded almost simultaneously.

"Did you enjoy the zipline trip?" The girl asked as the five started walking towards the first stop.

"Yes, I was quite scared at first, but it was an incredible experience." Matt said, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie.

"Yes, I felt huge shivers in my stomach, but it gives you a feeling of euphoria afterward." Chris nodded, tucking his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie and increasing his stride so that he was practically next to Y/N.

"It's a really unique experience, I love that it's the biggest zipline in the USA and that you have such a paradisiacal view." She pointed to the horizon as they stopped near some telescopes, moving to the side so they could get a full view of the landscape.

She allowed them to enjoy it for a few minutes, watching them from a little distance.

"You can take it and look through the telescope if you want." Y/N indicated as she saw Chris staring at the telescope on the right, approaching him slowly.

He raised his blue eyes, exchanging glances with her for a few seconds before looking to the telescope again, his cheeks taking on a reddish hue.

"I thought I needed to pay to use them."

"No, go ahead, Chris." Y/N smiled gently, lifting the bottom of the object and pointing at it with her chin, watching as the boy walked closer and placed his hand next to hers, bending down slightly to fit his eye into the right space.

"Thanks."

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"You can sit in the front with me if you want." Y/N said as they approached the safari "car" she would drive through the route, turning momentarily to Chris. "So your brothers can sit in the back seats and hear my voice better." She quickly added, fidgeting with her fingers nervously. She didn't want to sound unprofessional.

"Sure, that's fine with me." The brunette nodded, ignoring the smiles and looks that his brothers furtively sent him.

"Let's go then."

The five of them arranged their seats quickly, Chris getting comfortable on the passenger seat. He glanced at Y/N from the corner of his eye, pressing his lips into a thin line to keep from smiling.

Her perfume hit his nostrils hard as the car started moving, the wind doing a great job of making Chris dizzy from the delicious scent, holding himself back from getting closer and taking in a breath of air.

"This is Eminem. She has two younger brothers-"

"Oh, she's a rapper." Chris muttered, suddenly turning around and imitating rap gestures for his brothers, getting a laugh from them and Y/N, who shook her head in denial as she slowly stopped the car.

"Almost that." The girl joined in the fun.

"Can we get close to the animals?" Nick asked from the backseat, leaning against the back of the driver's seat and looking at them.

"No, I would lose my job." Y/N scoffed, letting out a laugh before speeding up again.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"And here we have the giraffes, my second favorite safari attraction." Y/N pointed out, slowing the car down again, pointing to the group of animals near them. "Hi babies." She turned to them, greeting the ones she spent hours of her day petting and keeping company.

"Hi!" Nick followed Y/N's action, Chris and Matt saying the same afterward, smiles on their faces.

"You really love them." Chris commented briefly, leaning closer to Y/N so that only she heard him, the sound of Nick and Matt's voices muffled out from behind.

"I practically grew up in zoos and safaris. These animals are my life. That's basically what I love about this job." She began, her tone full of directness. "I know everyone sees them as simple animals, but they are more than that." Y/N explained, looking away from the giraffes and turning to Chris, momentarily getting lost in his eyes. "They're not just animals. They're intelligent... I mean, you can see there's some higher order thinking going on... Right?"

She expected to get a judgmental look or a "how crazy are you" say, but instead, Chris just smiled big and nodded slightly.

"I understand you. It's no wonder that our brand's new merch is with animal prints." The boy said, quickly lifting his hoodie and showing the t-shirt underneath, where it had a perfect drawing of a giraffe in the bottom corner. "And full of giraffes."

"Wow, that's beautiful!" Y/N spoke, her eyes wide as she looked at the t-shirt. It was so cool that they made something of their own signature inspired by animals.

It suddenly made sense to her why they paid for 24 hours there alone.

"If you're nice enough, I might consider giving you one of these later in the day." Chris teased, pulling down his hoodie and smirking at the girl.

Y/N rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she let out a low laugh.

"I'll earn it."

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"Oh no, birds." Nick muttered as he noticed Y/N slowing down near the bird area, receiving laughter in response.

"These birds are incredible, I promise they don't come close to street doves or conventional ones." Y/N turned around, looking at Nick with a smile on her face. "Every day, they will sing to their partner to show that they're still in love." She commented, looking at Chris for a few seconds, before focusing on the birds behind him, feeling her cheeks heat up.

"Wow, we need that nowadays." Matt commented briefly. His eyes focused on the animals as he had a small smile of admiration on his face.

"Yeah, we really do." Chris nodded, his eyes fixed on Y/N. She swallowed hard at the intense staring, tearing her eyes away from the birds and returning her attention to the front.

An embarrassed smile appeared on her face, and she started the engine again while shaking her head, he really had a lot of boldness.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

After some small explanations on some specific animals, Y/N decided to make a bathroom stop near one of the cliffs that gave a view to one of the green landscapes.

Nick and Matt went to the bathroom while the man who was filming decided to take photos of some specific spots nearby, leaving Chris and Y/N alone - perhaps on purpose.

"I know we just met, and I don't know you, but is there any way I could take you out sometime soon?" The brunette approached Y/N in slow steps, releasing his question softly as he positioned himself next to her, facing forward. His hands were resting comfortably in the front pocket of his hoodie, and his eyes remained fixed on the greenery in front of him.

Despite being confident, he was afraid of receiving a big "no" for an answer.

"Are you always this straightforward with strangers?" The girl responded, turning to face him and resting her hips on the wooden fence, crossing her arms and watching him with her eyebrows raised.

She swore she saw his adam's apple move as he swallowed hard, not expecting that comeback. Chris opened his mouth to apologize but was cut off by the girl, who laughed.

"I'm just kidding. Saturday, I have the night off." Y/N answered his first question, watching Chris relax his stiff posture and a smile of relief fill his face.

He turned to her as he took his phone out of his pants pocket, unlocking the screen and opening the contacts app.

"Can I get your number?" The boy asked, offering the device to the girl. "S-so we can schedule dinner." He added quickly, smiling awkwardly.

It had been so many years since he last had the courage to make a move on a girl, and he felt like a complete idiot. But that girl moved him in a different way, and Chris would do anything to get to know her better.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

I'm sorry if this didn't meet your expectations, it's already midnight and I'm really sleepy, but I was super excited to write this Chris x reader and I liked how it turned out. If you don't like it, I can rewrite it tomorrow!

Also, my asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋

~ taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturniolho @islalovesmatt

(If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment here)

#x reader #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #love #safari #chris sturniolo fanfiction #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher owen sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris x reader #chris fanfic #chris au #chris #imagine #oneshot #fluff #first meeting #youtuber #tour guide reader #christopher sturniolo x reader

[nomadwrites]

bubblegum pink ⋆˚✿

gojo satoru

summary ⋆୨୧⋆ in which you've managed to convince the greatest jujutsu sorcerer of your time into getting pink highlights. what could go wrong? a lot, you learn.

contents ⋆୨୧⋆ spoilers!, pure fluff & rusty writing

notes ⋆୨୧⋆ let's start off easy, shall we? feedback is most certainly welcome & would be much appreciated! enjoy ₊˚ෆ

"come on, it's only temporary!"

"not a chance! do you know how much time and effort i put into caring for these lustrous locks?"

"it'll grow out anyways," you huff, setting down the contents of the hair dye kit on the bathroom counter. "and here i thought you were the adventurous type."

"adventure is one thing, but this? this would be an act of vandalism," satoru feigns a look of betrayal, silver lashes framing his wide blue orbs, "like defacing the mona lisa."

you gasp in exaggeration, clasping a hand over your mouth. if there was one thing on the boy’s long list of things he loved about you, it'd be your ability to keep up with his personality.

"sure. but don't you get tired of always having the same old hairstyle? maybe it'd be nice to switch it up every now and then, yknow?"

"i hardly doubt anyone could ever get tired of this." he gestures to himself, standing tall, a smirk gracing his features.

“you’re insufferable.”

“and you love that about me.”

you do your best to hide the smile that threatens to break free, chewing on your bottom lip. “oh but you’d look absolutely gorgeous,” you plead, voice dripping with honey as you cross your arms over your chest, leaning against the countertop. you bat your lashes at him, round doe eyes peering into sparkling azure pools.

the look you give him makes his heart do flips and his gaze softens ever so slightly. he can't say no to you, not when you're gazing up at him with those puppy-dog eyes of yours. you’re perfectly aware of the effect you have on him, but that’s not to say you’d ever take advantage of him. if anything, you’re just as smitten.

satoru adores gratifying you, answering to your every beck and call, no matter the request, even if they can be a little odd at times. who was he to deny you anything when you looked so entrancing?

he pretends to ponder, drumming his fingers along the cool ceramic of the sink counter. if you're quiet enough, you might hear the way the gears in his head shift as he puts on a show of overtly dramatised deliberation. it almost makes you snort, but after a minute or two of silence, he caves in, shoulders slumping.

"if it makes you happy," he breathes, flicking his gaze back to you as you perk up with excitement, light practically radiating off of you. he might come to regret this in a few hours, but when he sees the way your eyes sparkle with a radiance that seems so pure, he thinks it won’t be so bad. after all, it is only temporary.

"just so i get to hear it again," he pauses, slender fingers intertwining with yours as he guides you over to him and plops down onto the closed seat of the toilet, long legs splayed on either side of you. "you think i'm gorgeous?"

“not quite yet,” you say, running your fingers through his silver locks, admiring the soft lavender undertones. his glasses are sitting just above the tip of his nose, brilliant sapphire depths on full display. no matter how many times you’ve looked him in the eye,, it always manages to knock the air out of your lungs. “i’ll see what i can do.”

“aren’t you a sweetheart?”

“i am.”

he exhales, humming in agreement as he relaxes under your touch and relishes in the scent of your skin, not the fragrance of perfume or shampoo, but you.

this is nice, you think. free time has always been hard to come by, even more so for gojo than you. things had changed after the star plasma vessel incident. he had changed, and although he did his best to hide it, you knew better. you were there to ground him, to remind him of his humanity and his purpose for becoming a sorcerer. you were there to keep him afloat.

"so!" you clap, startling him enough to knock his glasses askew, "let's get started!"

"booo," he pouts, like some child. he likes to think you're like this because of him, that you've spent so much time with him you've essentially become a miniature satoru gojo. the thought of it makes him feel all warm and mushy inside, something he really only feels with you, despite how popular he is with people.

you get to work, skimming through the pamphlet of instructions. satoru attempts to help you, mostly by staring whilst seated on the toilet, questioning if you really knew what you were doing. you stick out your tongue at him as did he, tugging on his lower eyelid.

you manage to end up with a bowl of bright pink sludge, the scent of chemicals wafting through the enclosed space of your bathroom. satoru grimaces, both at the smell and how awfully pigmented the dye seemed, cautiously eyeing the mixture held between your gloved hands.

“no turning back now.”

“you’re sure this is temporary?”

“mhmm!” you say, throwing a towel over his shoulders to shield his black linen shirt from any stray drops of hair dye. contrary to popular belief, the all-powerful jujutsu sorcerer doesn’t make use of his infinity when there was no real need to, his reasoning something akin to him wanting to experience moments of normalcy with those close to him.

“i’m great aren’t i? strong, handsome with a heart of gold,” he’d said, standing in akimbo.

“in an alternate universe, sure.”

you smile at the memory, recalling the way he tutted when you responded, earning chuckles from both shoko and geto.

“y’know on second thought–” satoru’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts, “maybe blue would be a better option? make my eyes pop and all that,” he stalls, turning to look at you.

“it’s not gonna be this bright toru, it’ll be a lot lighter once we rinse you off. besides, i’ve only got pink right now–“

“great! so we should–“

“but you already said we could–“

and you’re both tugging, trying to grab ahold of the bowl. “toru stop it! you’re gonna–“

splat.

"ah," he blinks.

silence falls between the both of you, letting the sound of droplets hitting the floor echo loud in your ears. you’re wide eyed in disbelief, and it takes you a moment before you press your lips together in a futile attempt to conceal the snort that bubbles from your throat.

———————-

“don’t you look pretty?” geto teases, snapping a photo of satoru’s lifeless body as he sits limp at his desk, looking as if his soul had left his body. you’re sure it did last night after rinsing him off in the shower, fully clothed, the sight of him drenched in fuchsia finding a permanent home in your brain. shoko echoes after the raven-haired boy, resting her head on a closed fist.

satoru’s once moonlit hair now a splotchy mess of soft pink, the hair dye staining his eyebrows an even brighter shade of bubblegum. you had to practically drag him out the bathroom by the feet afterward.

“what have you done?” he whined, voice breaking.

“me?!” you gasped, “you had a part to play in this too!”

it was a miracle he’d even changed out of his wet clothes, albeit it taking around an hour or so. you’re sure he laid on the floor for the rest of the night after you’d left, geto being the first to find him in the exact same position this morning. thankfully, you hadn’t had to drag him to class.

at the very least, this would be another fond memory you’d share together.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader #nomadwrites

[levithestripper]

would they peel an orange for you

masterlist

warnings: gender-neutral reader, none

included characters: yuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, toge inumaki, yuta okkotsu, and kokichi muta (mechamaru).

length: 1.2k || read on ao3 || join my taglist

a/n: i just finished both seasons of jjk and gege owes me money for therapy

— Yuji Itadori

Yuji wouldn’t need to be asked to peel an orange for you. He’d be making himself a snack and decides to bring you something too, ‘cause he knows you’ll sneak stuff off his plate anyway, so why not get you your own snack? He also peels your orange nicely, even picking off that icky white string you hate. Yuju brings it to you on a plate, and the gesture makes you smile as he snuggles next to you on the couch in the common area. 

“An orange?” you ask, looking up at him from your seat on the sofa. You’re covered up to your chin in a fluffy blanket, warding off the chill you felt due to Yuji’s absence. You swear the man’s like a walking furnace. 

“I was getting myself a snack, so I thought I’d get you something, too!” Yuji replies with a smile so bright that it rivals the sun. “I know you like oranges, and you haven’t had one in a while, so I thought you’d like one!” He sits next to you again, wriggling underneath the blanket, putting his cold feet on your bare legs, making you squeal. 

You take the plate from him after he stops torturing you with his maliciously cold toes. “Yu!” Yuji just kisses your cheek happily, tangling his legs with yours. Now that he’s had fun, Yuji’s careful not to get his cold feet on you.

— Megumi Fushiguro

Megumi would also peel you an orange, but you’d have to ask him first. You’ll be sitting in his room together, with you on his bed and him at his desk. Last time he was out in the city, Megumi bought a mini fridge for his dorm room so he doesn’t have to walk all the way to the kitchens when he’s hungry late at night. 

“Hey, Megs?” you gaze over at him, your head hanging off the edge of his bed, hair dangling upside down with you. 

He turns to meet your gaze, chin in his palm. “Yes, my love?” The afternoon sunlight filtering through the windows illuminates Megumi’s pretty features, beautifully highlighting his dark chocolate eyes. 

“Could you get me an orange from the mini fridge?”

He nods, silently leaning over and snagging a clementine out of the fridge. Pushing his homework out of the way and unfolding a napkin, Megumi fully peels it in just a few strips, tossing the rind in the trash can underneath his desk. With a soft smile, he wraps your orange in the napkin, placing it in your outstretched hand.

“Thank you, Megs,” you return his smile, moving to sit crisscross. You giddily eat your orange slices, the fruit tasting much better since your boyfriend prepared it. Megumi watches you eat, his chin returning to his palm like before. His oversized cream-colored sweater makes him look like a soft, snuggly teddy bear. “You should take a break, baby. You’ve been working for hours!” you exaggerate, making him giggle quietly. 

Megumi sighs with a smile before joining you on his bed, curling up beside you like a cat, resting his head on your shoulder. “I don’t think it’s been hours, love,” he chuckles, stealing an orange slice. 

“Hey!”

“Payment, babe.”

You roll your eyes at him but pretend to not see Megumi steal another slice a few moments later.

— Toge Inumaki

Toge also would need to be asked to peel an orange for you. He’s more than happy to do it, as one of his love languages is acts of service. He peels it while sitting on the couch beside you, watching whatever you had on the television. He may or may not take a few pieces for himself in the process. 

You lean against him, your head on his shoulder, watching Toge’s nimble fingers fix a snack for you. He separates the orange into individual slices, making it easier to eat as you watch TV. When he hands you the plate, you find a few slices missing, only to see Toge eating them.

“Toge! Those’re mine!” you exclaim, looking at him as if he had deliberately kicked one of your stuffed animals off the bed. 

He makes a face at you. “Fish flakes.”

“Oh, don’t fish flakes me, Toge,” you grumble, “No more eating my snacks!”

Toge makes another face at you, teasing you in that silent way he’s gotten good at. He snags another slice before you can move your plate away, a stupid grin spreading across his lips.

— Yuta Okkotsu

Yuta will peel your orange for you, but he’d be sassy about it the entire time. He’s happy to do it, but he’ll be teasing you while he does it. Standing by the counter, Yuta’s peeling your orange in small bits, tossing the skin on a paper towel. “You need me to peel your grapes, too, angel?” he teases, and you stick your tongue out at him. 

“You don’t peel grapes, dumbass.”

“You peel them for babies,” Yuta smirks.

You shoot him a warning glare like you’re daring him to continue that train of thought.

He giggles as he finishes sectioning the orange. “I’m not above chucking this at you, angel.”

“Shut up and give me my damn orange,” you snark at him, leaving him in the kitchen to make yourself comfy on the sectional in the common room. The second year’s dorm rooms have better amenities than the first-year dorms. 

He sits beside you, throwing a blanket across both of your laps. “You’re so demanding.” 

“And you’re annoying.”

“And you love it,” Yuta grins, kissing your cheek.

— Kokichi Muta

Kokichi would one hundred percent hands down peel an orange for you. He’s so incredibly grateful to be with you in person that he’d probably kill someone for you if you asked. So yeah, he’d peel you an orange. He’d probably peel you two oranges. Kokichi would try to peel it into a heart shape, but if it didn’t work the way he wanted, he’d just arrange the longest scraps into a vague heart shape the best he could.

Sitting at the breakfast counter, you watch Kokichi prepare a lovely breakfast for both of you. Bacon sizzles on the stove next to a pan of over-easy eggs. While he waits for the bacon to finish, Kokichi plates the eggs and toast before grabbing a bag of fruit from the fridge. He washes a handful of red and green grapes and sets them in a bowl, now quickly peeling two oranges, one for you and one for him. He places the fruit on your plate, careful to keep it from touching your eggs.

You didn’t expect Kokichi to prepare your fruit for you; no one besides your parents when you were little had ever done that before. “Oh, Chi, you didn’t have to do that for me,” you say, affection warming your chest.

He smiles at you sweetly, his scar stretching slightly. “I know. I wanted to.” Kokichi lifts the bacon pan off the stove, holding it over the counter while he splits it evenly on each plate. “I know you don’t like the feeling of the peel underneath your nails.”

Kokichi’s words fill you with so much love and other indescribable emotions that it makes you want to scream. You pull him to lean over the counter for a kiss. “What did I do to deserve you, Chi?”

He grins against your lips, kissing you back with all the passion bubbling inside his chest as well. “You deserve all this and more, you know. But we’ve gotta eat before our eggs get cold.”

#yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #yuta okkotsu #kokichi muta #itadori yuuji #inumaki toge #muta kokichi #yuji itadori x reader #yuuji itadori x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #inumaki toge x reader #kokichi muta x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk fandom #jjk x you #jjk x gender neutral reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader #jjk hcs #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen hcs #character x reader #gender neutral reader

[withleeknow]

wishful thinking. (02)

chapter two: in plain sight

summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.

pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut warnings: cursing, drinking, suggestive content at the end, could've been edited more but oh well lol word count: 4.9k

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation › series masterpost › taglist

Damn baby, I'm a train wreck, too I lose my mind when it comes to you I take time with the ones I choose And I don't want to smile if it ain't from you

boyfriend - Ariana Grande ft. Social House

You end up not seeing Minho, nor any of your other friends, at all in the few days leading up to Yeonjun’s party.

True to your words, you were mostly holed up in your place, running on nothing but caffeine and sheer frustration, trying to finish your elective class’ final paper on the differences between the views of Greek philosophers. Time really flies when you wish it would slow down, because you could've used a couple more days to perfect the godforsaken thing.

You’ve been texting Minho though, and honestly, the man is practically a saint. You barely even talked about anything besides your stupid paper and your high maintenance perfectionist professor, and yet, he still listened to you yap away. He even offered to help you with your footnotes and citations, which you didn’t need, but the gesture was nice. If you had turned to Seungmin with your whining, he probably would've muted your notifications after three messages.

Regardless, all complaining aside, you did manage to pull through and finish the paper in the end, letting out a big sigh of relief the very second you clicked on the Send button on yours and your professor’s email thread just five minutes before the deadline.

Before you know it, it's already Saturday and Minho should be here any minute now so you two could go to the party. You’ve been working hard. You deserve to let a little loose tonight.

Even though a college party isn’t exactly your top choice of ways to wind down from stress, the mention of free and unlimited booze sure does sound alluring.

When your phone lights up with a simple i’m here from Minho, you quickly throw on a cardigan over a simple black camisole and denim shorts and check your makeup in the mirror one last time before heading downstairs. He texted you a couple hours ago, saying he had some stuff to pick up near your place and asking if you wanted to walk to Yeonjun’s together. You sent him back an enthusiastic yes!!! in a matter of seconds, because lord knows you’d rather not enter the front door of that house unaccompanied. 

You opted for a simple fit tonight, mostly because you couldn’t be bothered to put on anything more decent only to go to the equivalent of a frat party.

“Hey, Min.” Your voice pulls him away from scrolling through his phone, diverting his attention to you instead.

“Hey,” he says, tucking the device into the pocket of his jeans. When he gives you a once-over, you do a little twirl for him, finishing off with an exaggerated kick of your foot at the end. “You look nice.”

“Just ‘nice’? I’m trying to get laid tonight. ‘Nice’ isn��t gonna cut it,” you joke.

He stares at you, a bashful expression befalling his features, the corner of his mouth lifted upward as he smiles in hubris. “You’re trying to get laid by whom?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “You tell me.”

He rolls his eyes affectionately before throwing an arm around your shoulders to pull you close. One of his hands musses up your hair that you spent twenty minutes trying to make look perfect, prompting you to poke him in the side so he would let go of you.

“Hey!” you scowl, smoothing over the strands that he flicked out of place. “I worked hard on that!”

“Sorry,” he chuckles, clearly amused by the temporarily sulky look on your face. “Didn’t want you to look too pretty. Can’t have all of the attention on you. Someone might try to steal you away from me.”

“Did it occur to you that maybe I want some attention tonight? I’ve been a hermit all week, I deserve a little something.”

“Is my attention not enough for you?”

You squint at him for a second. Then, you start walking in the direction of Yeonjun’s house without waiting for him. You hear Minho launch a laugh your way, and the scuffling of his shoes on the concrete pavement as he easily catches up with you in a few strides.

He leans down to whisper directly into your ear, making your cheeks heat up but you’re glad that they’re partially masked by the poorly lit street. “You know you never have to try.”

The walk to the party takes about fifteen minutes. When you’re rounding the street corner that leads to Yeonjun’s place, you can already hear the booming music coming from the biggest house on the block. Even from a distance, you can see people on the lawn and the two balconies on the second floor. You gotta give it to the guy - he sure knows how to throw a party.

The second you enter the premises, you’re almost taken aback by how crowded it actually is even though you expected this. A typical Yeonjun party.

You tug on Minho’s shirt, beckoning him to bend down so you could talk into his ear over the sounds of bad EDM and people basically having to scream in each other’s faces. “Are Hyunjin and the others here yet?” you ask.

“They got here right before us. I think they’re in-”

“Y/N!” The two of you whip around at the sound of a shrill voice calling out your name. Yeonjun practically shoves his way through the crowd of people when he spots you, bounding up to you and Minho with a bright grin on his face. “Glad you could make it!” he says, paying no mind to the man next to you at all. He eyes you up and down, shamelessly tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. “Damn, you look really good tonight.”

You give him a playful eye roll. Nonetheless, you still tell him, “Thanks.”

“You look that good to come to my party?”

You don’t mind at all the fact that Yeonjun is a natural flirt. That’s just a part of his personality, he’s inherently charming like that. It’s harmless and it doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Everything is all in good fun.

“Would you believe me if I said this is what I’d wear on a midnight convenience store run?”

“Ouch, you wound me.” Yeonjun says, holding a hand over his heart to emphasize his point. “C’mon, you can admit it.”

You open your mouth, a quick comeback about to be thrown his way but Minho chimes in from beside you.

“You should believe her,” he deadpans, stepping closer to you, one of his hands grazing your back. He's even standing straighter, with his chest all puffed out. “She even dresses like that when she takes out the trash.”

You turn to gasp at him before punching him right in the pec. “Hey!” Yeonjun is all but forgotten in a blink of an eye, because you have to defend your honor first.

“What? I’ve seen you do it wearing this exact same outfit.”

“Stop lying. It’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? I distinctly remember you wearing this when you went to take out the trash that night a couple of weeks ago while we were hanging out at your place.”

“Nuh uh. I didn’t take out the trash that night,” you protest, frowning. “I made you throw it out for me on your way-”

Yeonjun interrupts you with a chuckle, glancing between you and Minho as he gives your friend's shoulder an awkward pat. They share a look that you don’t quite understand. “Alright, duly noted. I’m gonna make myself scarce,” he says. “Help yourselves. Booze is in the kitchen!”

After you’ve finally squeezed your way into the kitchen that’s overflowing with people, you narrow your eyes at Minho. “What was that about?”

“What?” He scans the selection of liquor bottles on the kitchen island before asking you, “Rum and Coke?”

Your favorite.

You nod eagerly, momentarily distracted before you have to circle back to your question.

“What was all that back there with Yeonjun, Mr. Grumpy Cat?”

“What was what?” He pulls out two solo cups from a nearby stack, along with some napkins, and meticulously wipes the plastic cups even though they look pretty clean to you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You raise a disbelieving eyebrow. He shrugs.

“I didn’t know you and Yeonjun were that close.” Minho seems casual as he tells you this, not looking at you as he fetches the necessary liquor and soda from the sea of glass and plastic bottles in front of you.

“We’re not. I’m kinda friends with him because Jess is friends with him.”

“Okay,” he acknowledges, though he doesn’t seem entirely pleased with… you don’t even know what. “I don’t like him. He’s loud.”

“That’s not a reason. Aren’t you friends with him too?”

You watch as he mixes your drinks, a sight you’re familiar with whenever you attend house parties together. He’s always your designated bartender.

One for you, one for him.

One part rum, two and a half parts coke.

“It is a reason. And ‘friends’ is a stretch,” he says, handing you your cup before he tends to his own. His has less liquor in it, because you both know you like yours stronger. “We’re acquaintances at best.”

“You’re loud too.”

“My brand of loud is different.”

“Is it?”

He gives you a look. An offended cat, if you’ve ever seen one.

“Well, Yeonjun’s not bad,” you tell him. You take a sip of the drink, then give him a subsequent thumbs-up. “He can be a bit much for some people, but I don’t really mind it.”

When he’s done, you both try to navigate the battlefield that is Yeonjun’s extremely cramped abode. You try to stay as close to him as possible, meaning away from the loud boys that are either trying to get shitfaced as quickly as possible, or trying to suck faces with any girl they could find as quickly as possible.

“Still. You don’t think the flirting was a bit much?”

Minho pulls you to him by your elbow when some guy - probably a little more than tipsy, judging by the unsteadiness of the legs that carry him - tries to bulldoze his way through the crowd behind you.

“He’s always like that. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s harmless.”

“If he asks you out, would you say yes?”

You blink at him in surprise, feeling like the question came out of nowhere. “What kind of question is that?”

“It’s just a question,” he says, then repeats himself. “So, if he asks you out, would you say yes?”

You let him guide you to a spot that’s more breathable, where people aren’t practically on top of each other trying to weave their way through. You think about it for a second, then realize that there isn’t much to think about. “No,” you say decisively.

Because it doesn’t make sense to envision you and Yeonjun together. You practically sit on two opposing ends of the same spectrum. People often say that opposites attract, but this isn’t one of those cases.

And… because you simply feel strange thinking about yourself and someone else. Like it's something you shouldn't do.

Minho gives you a hum in acknowledgment of your answer, which you barely catch over the loudness of the party. You do catch the hint of a smile that tugs at the corner of his lip though, before he cranes his neck to scan the room for any trace of your gang of thieves.

“If I didn’t know any better,” you run the words over in your head before you decide to utter them out loud. Like you told him just now, harmless, right? “I’d say you’re jealous of Yeonjun.”

He turns, stares at you for a moment with unreadable eyes. 

“And what if I am?”

There’s something incredulous in the way you look at him. You think he would just wave you off or roll his eyes and move onto a new topic, not expecting him to fire back with a question you can’t really answer.

Or maybe he’s just playing along. You can’t tell.

“Am I that good in bed?” you chuckle, hoping he doesn’t notice the inkling of nervousness in your voice. “Did I do a number on you?”

He raises both eyebrows, pursing his lips as if in thought. Then, he answers, “Something like that.”

There’s a part of you that wants to dig deeper, to get him to say what he really means because there’s something in his eyes and there’s something in the way that his hand has moved to its designated place on the small of your back that makes your stomach roll with anticipation.

Again, you don’t like that he keeps getting harder for you to read.

You try to think of words to say, of questions to ask, though you know this party isn’t the best place to voice them. “What d-”

“There you are!” Hyunjin pops up from behind Minho, practically jumping onto his back like a jumpscare ghost in a horror game, startling the both of you and almost making the grumpy cat spill his drink. Minho groans as he tries to shove his friend off, before sending Hyunjin a glare that makes the man bow his head in apology. He promptly drags you to where your friends are gathered on a big couch near the back of the room - Chan and his girlfriend Jess, Seungmin, Changbin, along with a distinct absence of a few more faces.

“Where are the others?” you ask, plopping down next to Changbin, followed suit by Minho.

“Jisung is stuck finishing a project,” Chan informs you. “And Jeongin is taking his girl to that new drive-in movie place.”

“They’re still in their honeymoon phase?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Ah yes, young love. Good for them.”

You catch up with everyone about your week, about their week; gossip about how much Yeonjun might’ve spent on this party and where his family’s downright insane wealth actually comes from, about Seungmin’s on-and-off situationship (which might be more interesting than all of the above).

Minho remains seated next to you the entire time you’re all drinking and laughing with each other. He keeps subtly touching you one way or another - a hand on your back because no one’s really noticing, a shoulder brushing yours, a thigh touching yours, a knee nudging your own every now and then.

It’s not until you finish your drink that Minho asks if you want another one, then stands up to head to the kitchen when you say Yes, please.

The second he’s out of earshot, Hyunjin jumps into action, motioning for everyone to huddle together, like he’s about to share classified information.

“Minho is seeing someone,” he says immediately. 

“What?” Changbin asks. You hope he doesn’t notice the way your body immediately stiffens at the conversation’s sudden turn. You try to look as nonchalant and quiet as possible, as if this is just a talk about the weather, missing the way a pair of eyes flits to you outside of your peripheral vision.

Hyunjin purses his lips, before clarifying, “I went through his phone last week.”

“You went through his phone?” Chan frowns, shaking his head disapprovingly. “That’s not cool, dude.”

“He was in the bathroom and his phone was just sitting there unlocked. Then he got a text and I had to!” Hyunjin holds up his hands defensively. “Anyway, I don’t know if they’re dating or if they’re just fooling around, but there is someone! He’s simping hard.”

“How do you know that?” Seungmin chimes in. “Do you even know who it is?”

“I don’t know who it is. That’s what I need you guys to help me find out. There wasn’t a name name. He just calls her his-”

“What on earth are you guys doing?” Minho’s voice makes everyone disperse, leaning back into their respective seats like they were caught doing something they shouldn’t. He sits down beside you again, handing you your cup back. You give him an appreciative but awkward smile. “What is Hyunjin blabbing about this time?”

“Nothing!” Hyunjin practically squeaks. The poor guy can’t spin a little white lie to save his life. Then he has the audacity to look offended as he gapes, “Also, why did you automatically assume it was me?”

“Because it’s always you at the scene of the crime.”

“It happened one time! No, twice. It was only those two ti-!”

Seungmin cuts in flatly. “He said you’re whipped for a girl you’re seeing.”

Everyone stops to stare at Minho. Even you turn your head to look at him, trying to gauge how he’ll respond to this. It makes you a little guilty, seeing that you’re part of the secret too, and yet he has to shoulder the lies by himself.

Well, technically, there hasn’t been any lying involved up until now. Just a simple withholding of the truth.

His face hardens for a brief moment, and you think he lets it show on purpose - his way of telling Hyunjin that he’s annoyed - because Minho can put on a flawless poker face when he wants to. There’s a couple of seconds where he clenches his jaw before he relaxes, the sharpness of his features softening as he shrugs off the accusation. “I am most certainly not whipped for anyone,” he says. “It’s just a casual thing.”

“If it’s just casual, why were you being so secretive about it, huh?” Hyunjin prods. 

“I wasn’t being secretive. I just didn’t think it was anybody’s business,” Minho answers coolly. 

“We’re your best friends! I tell you guys everything.”

“You sure do. Even things I’d rather not hear about.”

Jess and Changbin burst into light laughter, and you chuckle along with them but you don’t really find it that funny. You’re just trying to blend into the background, be a fly on the wall and observe how things unfold. Minho has assured you that there’s nothing for you to worry about, that there’s no way they could find out about the secret, but still.

Hyunjin groans exasperatedly. The nosiest drama queen you know. “Seriously, who’s the girl? I’m dying of curiosity here!”

“Drop it.” Minho glares at him.

“Just give me a hint! Is it someone we know?”

“You haven’t eaten tissues in a while, have you?”

“Try me. I’m not scared of you anymore.”

“Hyunjin, I swear to-”

“Okay!” Chan claps his hands together suddenly. “Let’s just all agree that we are all entitled to our privacy and people can share whatever they want with whoever they want when they’re comfortable, yeah?”

Everyone nods in agreement, except for Hyunjin who narrows his eyes petulantly at Minho as if to say This isn’t over. No one wants to poke a disgruntled tiger, let alone about something he seems so disinterested in sharing. Minho has always been a notoriously private person, even with the rest of the group.

Changbin shuffles a new topic into the mix to move things along, which you aren’t very keen on contributing to at the moment. When no one seems to be looking, Minho places a hand on your knee, rubbing it soothingly as if he can sense the unease that you’re feeling. It makes you glance at him, though neither of you says anything. You just look at each other for a moment, then turn back to the group when someone calls your name.

Two hours and three rum and coke’s later, you were coming down from a good high when someone suggested ditching Yeonjun’s party to go to a club.

Normally, you would say no. You could only do one social event at a time, needing to recharge your metaphorical battery before you let yourself be dragged into the next one.

But you decided to make an exception for tonight.

Though, you promptly realized that it was probably a mistake.

You prefer the loudness of Yeonjun’s party than here. It’s loud and crowded, since it’s a Saturday night, and since it’s a club. The air is sticky and stuffy. The lights are perpetually blinding and headache-inducing. You’re not even on the dancefloor; you’re just hovering near the entrance and the bar, and there’s still barely any room to move. People keep trying to shove you out of their way, even with Minho attempting to act as your human shield. 

You let your displeasure be known through a deep frown.

Minho catches onto your chagrin almost immediately. “What’s wrong?” he asks, leaning close to your ear to make sure you hear him over the music.

“Too many people,” you try to raise your voice so the booming noises don’t drown you out. “Can we go somewhere over there?”

He turns around, taps on Chan’s shoulder to get his attention before gesturing vaguely to that spot near the back that you just pointed out to him, presumably to let the others know that you’ll be wandering over there.

He takes your hand and leads the way. In the back, it’s still loud but less deafening than before, and much less crowded compared to the areas surrounding the dance floor.

“Better?” he asks.

You lean against the wall though you probably shouldn’t. The ick is apparent, but at this point in the night, you yourself are already feeling pretty gross anyway.

“A little bit,” you say. “Thanks.”

“You wanna go home? We can leave if you want.”

“Without saying goodbye?”

“Did you know that people who leave parties without saying goodbye save two days a year? It’s been researched.”

You rephrase your words so Minho would understand better. “Without Hyunjin’s permission?”

“Hyunjin has been pissing me off plenty all week. I can play my card for you.”

“What card?”

“The ‘I don’t give a fuck’ card.”

You tilt your head, clearly amused. “And how does that usually work out for you?”

“I don’t care how it works out because Hyunjin is not gonna do anything to me.” He shrugs. “Besides, I can always just throw him in the airfryer when he gets too annoying.”

This makes you laugh, recalling the exact moment Minho brought up the legendary instructions on how to cook Hyunjin.

“How violent,” you comment with a snort.

“He deserves it.”

“You know you still have a soft spot for him,” you say.

“I have a soft spot for you,” he replies.

“Now look who’s trying to get laid.”

He grins. “Could you blame me?”

Some drunk girls stumble into your space on their way to the bathroom, bumping into you, pushing you into Minho’s body where he instinctively puts a hand on your back to keep you steady. You glance up at him after the girls have safely arrived at the bathroom, only to find him already staring down at you. His back is turned toward where the lights are coming from and the angle shrouds his face in darkness, but you can still make out the stars twinkling in his eyes.

The sudden lack of space between your bodies makes your breath hitch.

“Are you still drunk?” he asks.

“No. Not really.” You don’t like the way your voice comes out small, vulnerable.

“I…” he starts, hesitating for a moment before he continues. His eyes flicker to your lips, and the breath that was previously caught in your throat further thickens. “Fuck, I really want to kiss you right now.”

For some reason, your heart leaps to your throat. It’s probably because of the remnants of alcohol refusing to leave your system, because how else would you explain the way your pulse quickens just from hearing those words coming from him?

He bites his lip, similar to how Yeonjun did it just a few hours ago, but seeing Minho do it is at least a hundred times more enticing.

You want him to kiss you too. You really do.

“What if the others see?” you protest meekly, but you’re already staring at his mouth, finding yourself gravitating toward him like he’s got you hypnotized.

“We’re all the way back here,” he tells you. “They won’t see anything.”

He leans closer until his lips are brushing yours. With a hand on your hip and the other on the back of your head, he meets your mouth in a soft kiss, which is a stark contrast to the upbeat and booming music blasting all around you. Some guy drunkenly gives you two a sleazy whistle, the sound coming from somewhere on your right, but neither of you pays it any attention.

Your hands come to clutch at the collar of his shirt like a lifeline. He’s never kissed you outside of the comfort of your bedroom before, let alone amidst a sea of people like this. It feels strange to be intimate with him in public, but at the same time, it excites you. There’s still a sense of anonymity because you’re camouflaged by the lights, masked by the darkness, hiding in plain sight.

The kiss gets more heated. He guides you a step back until you’re all pressed up against the wall, your hands tangling in his hair, tugging on it the way he likes that makes him groan against your mouth. He sucks on your bottom lip before shoving his tongue into your mouth, the wet muscle dancing with yours, making your knees buckle. It’s dizzying. It makes your head spin, and you don’t know if it’s because there’s still enough residual alcohol in your system to knock your world off its axis, or if it’s just him.

The hand previously on your hips sneaks underneath your shirt to rub at your bare skin. He gropes your breasts over the bralette you chose to wear tonight, squeezing the soft flesh in his palm, all the while slotting one of his legs between yours to help you grind on him. Your clothed cunt rolls over the denim of his jeans, and even though the friction is coarse and your movements are limited in this crowded space, the pleasure still sets your entire body alight. Minho spreads all over you like wildfire, and Minho consumes you like a hurricane.

You moan into his mouth when he rolls your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, over the flimsy material of your undergarment. “Min,” you whimper desperately. You don’t know if he can hear you over the obnoxiously loud sounds coming from the speakers littered all over the place, but he groans against your mouth regardless. Almost like the nickname is driving him crazy.

He pulls back just slightly, to let the both of you catch your breath. “Should we go back to yours?” he asks, eyes still focused on your mouth.

You nod eagerly. You know you must be wet as hell right now, and if you have to wait any longer, you will probably explode from frustration. You might just drag him into that disgusting bathroom over there and let him have his way with you, but you will definitely regret it afterward because it’s a bathroom in a nightclub. It’s beyond revolting.

He helps you smooth out your hair, gentle and tender. In turn, you wipe your lipstick smudges on his face. Instead of taking you by the hand like he did earlier, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and navigates the two of you through the crowd, shielding you from anyone who might bump into you. You lean into the touch; it’s just comforting.

As you make your way back to the group - or what’s left of the group at the moment - his hand drops to his side again. There’s an inkling of disappointment that blossoms in you, but it dissipates quickly when Hyunjin spots you and lights up. Him and Seungmin are at the bar, seemingly trying to get the bartender’s attention. Changbin is next to them, but he doesn’t seem to care about anything other than the girl he’s chatting with. You try to scan the crowd for Chan and Jess, and find them a couple minutes later, standing in a corner, pressed up against each other just like you and Minho moments ago.

“Where did you run off to?” Hyunjin asks. Clearly Chan was too preoccupied with his girlfriend to relay the information.

“It’s too loud in here, I was getting a headache,” you say, only half a lie. You know your face must still be flushed from your impromptu makeout session, but you hope your friend can’t see the rosy shade painting your skin under all the flashing lights. “Min and I just went back there to see if it was quieter.”

“Okay.” He seems to believe you. “We’re trying to get drinks! You want anything?”

“I think I’m gonna just go home. You guys stay and have fun though.”

Hyunjin looks at you like he’s so flabbergasted. “It’s not even 3AM yet!”

“Headache,” you say, pointing to your temple with an exaggeratedly pained expression on your face. “I’ll stay out all night with you next time.”

“But-!” The second he opens his mouth to protest, Minho cuts in sharply, his tone leaving no room for anyone to argue despite the gigantic pout on Hyunjin’s face.

“I’m gonna take her home and call it a night too,” he simply says.

Hyunjin groans, but he relents in the end, muttering to you something that sounds like “You owe me one,” when you go to hug him goodbye. Before you and Minho can reach the door, you hear your man child of a friend call after you two in his pterodactyl voice, “Don’t make Minho’s girl jealous!”

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 04.01.2024]

#stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #lee know fluff #lee know angst #lee know smut #lee know scenarios #lee know x reader #lee know imagines #lee know x you #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #stray kids #lee know #lee minho #fic: wishful thinking

[owliellder]

Two's A Crowd

College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.

Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing

Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of a Fight, Additional Tags to be Added

Author's Note: Ahh thank you for 1,000 followers!! I don't even know how that happened!! Anyways, I think it's a little anticlimactic? I just feel like since I am definitely not the kind to raise my voice, a shy reader wouldn't either. Besides, disappointment hurts more than anger, right?

Cross-posted onto AO3

Chapter 4:

Leon really did like you, honest. You were such a sweet girl, so innocent and clueless. Maybe it’s because he never gave his one night stands the time of day, or maybe it was just the sheer amount of time he had to spend with you to get this close, but now he knew he was a pretty terrible person for taking that bet

In the beginning he didn’t feel the slightest twinge of guilt due to the words the frat spewed at him. He knew all the right questions to ask, all the right things to say, the sweetness of it all had you under a spell.  It was also such a menial thing to get, a single pair of panties… You probably wouldn’t even know it was missing!

But as time went on, it got harder and harder for Leon to stomach just what he was doing. You’d opened up so much to him about your home life, how stressed you were, how much pressure you were under. Doing this would absolutely ruin you so he did his best to convince himself that he was being the nice one by waiting to complete the bet until you had finished all your finals. All that time spent together had him second guessing, triple guessing, even quadruple guessing his decision to go through with this. The good grades were important to you, he didn’t want to draw your focus away from that.

It was a shame his friends couldn’t keep the damn thing to themselves even if their life depended on it. He’d explicitly told them that it’s done and there was nothing more to it, yet of course they just had to snicker and make snide little comments to each other the next day when they saw you in passing.

Leon wouldn’t admit out loud that you’d really grown on him over the months, so he could only brush his friends off whenever they’d tease him about getting angry whenever the topic arose. Chris was the worst out of all of them, being his best friend, it seemed like his mission was to dance on Leon’s nerves any chance he got.

“Delete that.” A scowl graced Leon’s features as he glared at Chris, who’d stepped back from the agitated man. Almost the entire frat had posed with the panties Leon stole from you, all of them making some form of exaggerated pose and face. What was only meant to be goofy on their part was making the man responsible furious.

“Relax, it’s just a picture. I thought you’d find it funny.” Chris chuckled, bringing his phone back in to look at it again himself. “You’re acting real sour for nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You’re all acting like a bunch of fucking idiots and I’m sick of it. Now delete that damn picture before I smash your phone with a hammer.” The nonchalant attitude from Chris was driving Leon up the wall. He already knew he’d fucked up big time, and with the way everyone was acting would only get him into bigger trouble.

“Shut up, man.” Chris laughed, like this was all some big joke. Everything was a joke to him. “Acting like you’re gonna explode or something.” This man was an actual dumbass, never taking a moment to actually think about what consequences having photo evidence with the entirety of the frat’s members posing with something stolen would have.

Leon scoffed, holding his hands up before letting them fall dramatically to slap against the tops of his thighs. “No fucking way..” One hand came back up to cover his mouth, breathing out sharply through his nose. It was a sad attempt to keep himself from pouncing on the other man, seeing as not barely five seconds later he tackled Chris, hands scrambling to rip the phone from his hand.

Chris was a few inches taller than Leon, a bit stronger too, so the scuffle didn’t last long. Some punches thrown here, a few kicks there, and Leon had the wind knocked out of him at some point, thrown to the side and left to struggle to get up off the floor while Chris decided to make his way to a different part of the house, muttering under his breath all the while.

“God dammit-” Leon wheezed, on his hands and knees, one hand against his chest as he tried to catch his breath. Sure he reacted purely on instinct, but Chris could stand to be knocked down a few pegs in his opinion. The guy is an ass.

After finally collecting himself, Leon slowly spun around to rest his back against the foot of the couch, elbows resting on his knees. He coughed a couple times and let his eyes fall closed, eyebrows furrowed as he silently seethed. Chris was most definitely going to send that picture around since he obviously thinks it’s the funniest thing to ever grace this planet. You were going to see the picture. That thought alone had his head falling forward in defeat, breathing out a weak sigh and a few more coughs. 

If he had just followed his own shitty advice, he would’ve taken a second to think about it. Why didn’t he just tell you in the first place? Why didn’t he just go to the store and buy a random pair of panties? Why did he follow through on such a meaningless bet?

Now that Leon thinks about it, he was the dumbass in this scenario. A royal one.

He probably sat there for an hour with his eyes closed, mind racing a million miles a minute. Trying not to make another stupid decision, he decided the best course of action would be to tell you before you saw that picture. You should hear it from him and not a total stranger. It was the right thing to do. Right?

He let out a few more strangled coughs and wheezes as he stood up off the floor and threw his coat on, beginning the walk of shame to your building. It wouldn’t have taken that long, but the snow and sludge on the ground made it a bit more dangerous, he needed to tread carefully. In more ways than one.

The extended walk left him alone with his thoughts, seeing as he didn’t grab his own phone to bring with him. With every step his mind grew heavier, an involuntary grimace scrunching his face up as he mulled over what exactly he’d done. He was mentally beating himself up over how easy it would’ve been to avoid this situation if he’d just thought outside of himself for one singular minute.

What had he done? 

Leon stomped the excess snow off his boots once inside of the dorm building, hands hidden in the pockets of his jackets as he meandered over to the stairs to get up to the second floor where your dorm was. He took his sweet time, practicing what he wanted to say under his breath as he stared down at his feet while walking up the steps.

Your dorm was down the hall around the corner, allowing him the few extra seconds it would take to get there to get his heart under control. You would be mad, rightfully so, but would you forgive him? Is it selfish to hope that you would?

He stood in front of your door for a minute longer, hand hovering just in front of it, trying to bring  himself to knock. Licking his dry lips, he quickly hit the knuckle on his index finger against the door three times, his eyes downturned. As much as he wanted to be the bigger person, it scared him to no end. He’s never cared this much before, so why was he so worried about it now?

Leon’s eyes shot up at the sound of the door opening, immediately showing his confusion when it was Sky on the other side. They didn’t say a word, but they looked mad, or at least very irritated. “Hey, I really need to talk to-,” they cut him off by simply holding up the palm of their hand to him, taking in a deep breath. “We saw it.”

Those three words made his heart drop to his stomach, his eyes quickly darting to look through the opening in the door to see if he could see you. “Please, if you would just let me explain I can-”

“Don’t embarrass yourself. Just go.” Sky was just about to close the door before they quickly looked over their shoulder, shutting the door almost all the way. Leon could hear them whispering to you, and though he desperately wanted to listen in, he decided to take a step back from the door and wait patiently. It was the least he could do.

He looked side to side to make sure no one was walking through the hallways, not wanting anyone to eavesdrop on such a sensitive situation. The door reopened, only this time it was you standing in the doorway. You looked so sad, so disappointed.

Leon hesitated before opening his mouth, yet you cut him off before he could even get a word in. “I trusted you,” you rasped quietly, a shaky sigh passing your lips, “I-.. I trusted you… and this is how you treat me..?” His shoulders slumped as he listened to you. He didn’t think he could feel any worse about this, but here you were, reminding him just how much of an ass he’s been.

“All that time we spent together.. all those kind, encouraging words you told me.. were all a lie?” You sniffled, arms slinking around yourself tightly. Sky was standing out of his view rubbing your back, knowing you wanted, no, needed to confront him yourself.

“No- I-..” Leon stuttered, trying to find the best way to explain everything. And no matter how many times he formulated it in his head, the explanation would never justify his actions. Instead he settled on something that would probably mean and do nothing for you. It was worth saying, though. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m so sorry,” his voice fell to a whisper as he repeated himself, eyes remaining on yours. What else could he say?

Silence fell between you as you only stared back at him with glassy eyes, your every breath shaky as you held back sobs. Crying in front of him would only give him more fuel, was your thought process. In your mind, he couldn’t even be trusted with your trash. 

By now, Sky had walked over and grabbed your suitcase, rolling it over next to you. You were leaving a day earlier than you said you would, Sky having offered to drive you back home since your hometown was only a couple hours away from where theirs was.

You didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response, instead taking the handle of your suitcase from your friend before silently walking out of the room, past Leon, and down around the corner. He only stood and watched you walk off with a deep frown, head turning back to look at Sky when he heard them lock the door behind themself. 

“You’re only sorry that you got caught.” They grumbled as they walked past him, giving him a quick yet harsh glare. They soon disappeared around the same corner you had, leaving him all alone in the now quiet hallway. 

You were the nicest, most considerate person he’s ever had the pleasure to know and he blew it. The worst part about it all was you didn’t even seem mad, just heartbroken. Disappointed in him.

You had put so much of your trust into him, even after he’d been so nasty towards you in the beginning, and what did he do with it? He basically spit on it, lit it on fire, and then flushed the remnants. He was only annoyed with you the first few times he had to help you study, the bickering the two of you shared easily becoming one of the things he liked about you.

Leon honestly liked you from the start, so determined to pass a class that you’d put up with what was basically harassment from him. When he told his frat buddies about you, they were quick to draw up that bet. Unfortunately, he’d known most of these guys since middle school, and you were just a girl he met on chance. His friends’ words blanketed his own morals, and because they saw you as a target, so did he, that subconscious need for peer approval leading him to make one of the worst decisions he’s ever made thus far.

If he was in your shoes, he’d raise hell, so your decision to leave was completely understandable. For some reason you’d let him off easy and he knew he didn’t deserve such light treatment. 

All he could do now was hope you’d come back next semester. He’d be fine just getting to see you in passing since you most likely wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him anymore, your friends would certainly keep him at a distance away from you. 

Would writing a message be okay? You need time before he approaches the topic with you. Should he leave you be? No, you deserve an apology, even if you don’t want it, nor accept it. 

Someone brushed by Leon, breaking his train of thought. He was still standing in the hallway in front of your dorm room. He needed to go and try to make this right, or at the very least rip everyone at the frat a new one. He wasn’t sure, maybe it was because he was angry at them and himself, but leaving the frat sounded like a pretty good way to start righting his wrongs. Not before he made sure that the picture was wiped from everyone’s phone and the panties he stole were kept far away from everyone there. 

Chris sent the picture to you, which means it was sent to a bunch of other people too. He’ll spend all winter break tracking down every last person it was sent to, tell professors what he’d done just so it didn’t spread any further. And if it meant he’d lose his scholarship, then so be it.

tags:

@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik @animesnowstorm @lexi-zsy09 @mylifedoesntexist @ifeellikedying @yourmommylol04 @ravioli19 @dakiniii @papichulo120627

(few of your blogs won't work, i tried though 😭)

#college au my beloved #resident evil #bully leon #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x fem!reader #leon kennedy x reader smut #leon kennedy fic #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy x y/n #leon scott kennedy x fem reader #leon scott kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy #multichapter #multi chap fic #re4 #re4 leon #resident evil leon

[garoujo]

✩ ˛˚ . 3:03AM ; — GOJO SATORU.

warnings: none, fluff! note: it’s been so long since i’ve written for him i’ve missed him so much <;3

it’s late when gojo finds himself in the doorway of your apartment — probably too late for you to be awake, he can tell by the way the room is in darkness and the blanket that you’re normally surrounded in is haphazardly abandoned on the couch he’s sure you’ve been waiting for him on all night.

the mission had ran a little later than normal, giving him no time to reply to your texts, it had already been around 1am by the time he’d made his way home and he thought it would be more beneficial to kiss you awake rather than call.

so now gojo finds himself here, his blindfold is hanging loosely around his neck while he squats at the edge of your bed with one of his softer, handsome smiles on his face — still clad in his uniform because he was too focused on seeing you. your cheek is pressed cutely against the fabric of your pillow and he thinks it’s adorable the way you still instinctively lean into his touch when he lets his finger brush along the opposite side.

part of him wants to let you sleep, but when he pushes himself back to full height he can’t miss the sweet little pout that seems to settle naturally on your lips when his touch leaves you, eyebrows dropping to frown like you already miss the presence—like you miss him. so maybe that’s why the mattress is suddenly dipping under his weight with his next careful movement as he lets himself curl over you, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead as he hugs you closer with a sigh until you’re shifting slightly to curl into him as you wake.

“you dreamin’ of me, hm, sweet thing?” gojo teases despite the way his tone remains softer than usual, your features are still heavy with sleep but he thinks it’s adorable the way your eyes are already on him as you blink slowly — making a crooked grin stretch on his lips as he breathes out a chuckle.

you press the heel of your palms to your eyes as you rub away the lingering traces of drowsiness, but you still squint up at him as your eyes adjust to the dim lighting — the snowy peaks of his hair only slightly illuminated by the moonlight outside. “‘toru? what’re you doing? it’s late.” although your hands still rest around him, taking their natural place despite the way he’s just woken you from your sleep.

the silence hangs in the room for a few moments as gojo looks over you with a fondness that you’d always found in crystalline eyes that were always on yours. your gaze is still clouded but it’s on him too and he feels something burst and warm along the back of his neck before he’s breaking the sudden tenderness with a drawn out, exaggerated whine as he pinches at your cheek. “awww, c’mon. i thought my sweet girl would miss me more than that.” the sorcerer goads and you grumble before you’re playfully slapping him away with a yawn.

“i was asleep.” you begin and you hear him hum like he’s not quite convinced despite the way he knows he literally just woke you up, but he urges you to continue as you both take a careful breath. “but i did miss you.” you sigh, and the honesty of your words seems to catch him off guard when he blinks at you before he’s kissing you once on the cheek with an exaggerated kissing sound then kissing you again on the lips with a smile.

“oh yeah? how much?” gojo hums again before he’s continuing his onslaught of kisses after a few moments, deliberately pressing them along the ticklish spots along your jaw and neck before he pinches at your sides, just enough to kick start a laughing fit as you flail beneath him.

“satoru, stop!” you laugh and he thinks you sound pretty like this as you try to push him away — feeling the snowy peaks of his hair trace along your skin as he only pushes himself closer.

“nuh ugh, not until you admit it! your handsome boyfriend is back and i don’t see a single tear.” the warmth that surrounds you both feels nice as you laugh and the moonbeams seem to serve as your spotlight as gojo presses you into the cushions beneath you — pushing himself closer until he’s caging you between him and the mattress.

“you were gone a day you weirdo!”

“and i barely survived without my sweet girl, you should coddle me more.” you giggle at the unfiltered amusement in his tone before you’re grabbing at his hands that are still squeezing at your sides and you feel him tangle his fingers loosely with yours before he’s pulling back to send you a pink cheeked pout. he lets you breathe as you both grin cheekily and gojo finds himself taking a breath before he holds it, because he realises that love looks just like this, just like you.

“i really missed you, ‘toru.” you finally breathe after a few moments of rest and he thinks it feels nice to love and let himself be loved like this. his cheeky smile is in place when he leans forward to kiss you firmly on the lips before he’s suddenly rolling over to lie on his side — keeping your hands intertwined with his as he urges you to curl into his chest so he can press another kiss to your temple after.

“oh? see was that so hard.”

“i can take it back, y’know.”

© 2023 GAROUJO. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

#݁ . ࿓ : sealed #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru x you

[dollwrites]

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), fem!demon!reader, airhead!reader ( rono takes advantage of that ), stuck porn, compromising positions, reader is suspended mid air, :3 sensitive horns, mentions of rono’s bondage ( ball gag / bound hands ), thigh fucking, suggested free use post fic, all characters featured are aged 18+

𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading < 3

𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗹’𝘀 𝗯𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗯𝘀 ∣ doll’s choice [ ronové + stuck ]

you were starting to think Ronové wasn’t really trying to help you.

he’d been so sympathetic to your plight when he first found you; the dainty, little chain that tethers your horns together tangled in the chandelier you’d been helping Glasyalabolas hang in one of the halls. of course, when you’d gotten stuck, Glas had simply laughed, and even went so far as to kick your step stool out from under you, and you’d been left, dangling by your delicate, little horns ever since, feet hovering just above the marble floor.

when Ronové happened to come across you, he’d crooned as he approached. an absolute mountain of a devil, you were grateful he’d been the one to find you in such a state. no doubt, even with his arms bound the way they were, he would have no trouble lifting you up until your horns were freed. “Aw, haha.” perhaps you didn’t notice the wicked intent in his dark chuckle as he approached, running his leather-bound forearms over your body as he seemed to take in your predicament. “You poor thing. You need some help getting down, so you?” you’d been certain that must’ve meant he was going to help you, so you nodded in desperation, smiling in relief. the pressure on your horns would be lifted soon. you wouldn’t be stuck like this anymore.

but now, as you stared down, watching Ronové’s cock slide back and forth in between your thighs, you weren’t so sure he was really going to free you. “Rono…” you whine soft, nibbling on your lip. “Are you still going to help me?”

“Mhm,” Ronové growls more than answers, a subtle bubbling in his throat as he drags his face against your shoulder. the ball gag in his mouth is wet with spit, as if taking advantage of you in such a state has made him foam with lust and depravity. “But… a beautiful, little devil all wrapped up like this? Well, I’d be a fool not to take advantage of your predicament. Now, keep those soft thighs clenched so I can fuck them.” his voice is always just a little bit altered by the crimson obstruction that his sharp canines bite into, but it was astounding how he’d adapted, and was able to form sentences, you thought.

the tip of his cock was swollen and pink as he rammed it into the fleshy, supple seal of your thighs as you tighten your muscles, obediently. you whimpered, feeling the rugged veins that spiderwebbed his manhood rub against your flimsy panties beneath your skirt. in a way, Ronové was a superior devil to you. a much stronger one, at the very least, so resisting him would be impossible.

the way his moans rumble against the gag in his mouth when he gets closer. “Good girl, just like that. Tighten those muscles for me.” as he purrs to you in praise, he smears his face over your shoulder, leaving a sticky, shiny layer of drool from his constant slobbering over the gag. “Ah, make it feel just like a nice, warm cunt and maybe I won’t have to rip those wet panties off and pound you out.” as if to exaggerate his threat, both of his arms, swaddled in leather, hook around your waist and gives your body a firm tug downwards, to force you to perch on his cock as he rams it between your thighs as they get stickier and stickier from his smearing of precum. you yelp, feeling the chains pull on your horns. the hundreds of nerve endings located there screaming with the intensity of his display. but you mewl, too. you can’t help it. his cock is snuggled flush against your panties, thrusting between your thighs at a rapid-fire pace, and you feel stimulated from the tip of your horns all the way to your throbbing clit, electrified. though your feet were falling asleep from dangling there, helpless, you didn’t even bother to think about them. your hands clenched into tight fists, your eyelids flutter, and Ronové chuckles, hoarsely. “What pretty, distressed sounds this silly little devil can make. You’re going to make me cum, just like this…”

panting, you try to turn to look over your shoulder, “A-and then you’ll get me down?”

Ronové laughs, hoarsely. “What gave you that idea?”

“Y— you said you’d help me!” you cried, baffled by his seemingly sudden change of plans.

“Oh I will help, don’t you worry,” he explains, though you can hear the grinding of his teeth against the gag as he snorts in pleasure through his nostrils. “Once I’m done with you, I’ll be sure to tell the first devil I come across that you’re all tied up in here. I’m sure that after you’re used to your limit by however many more come across you, someone will get you down, sweetheart.”

#ronové #ronove x reader #ronove x you #whb ronove #what in hell is bad x reader #what in hell is bad #what in hell is bad x you #wihib #ronove #wihib x reader #wihib x you #wihib smut

[anystalker707]

Pretty whimpers

Pairing: Monkey D. Luffy x [gn, amab] Reader Summary: Luffy decides to make you company while you're on night watch... or that he needs your company, actually. Tags: Edging / Whimpering / Clinging / Fingering / Penetration / Hes just a baby, rip

Requested by @akashababy ["Can you do Luffy x Top male reader"]

MASTERLIST

          You sighed as you leaned with your side against the couch, arms over the backrest, observing the moon—it was full, hanging in the dark sky among the shiny stars, reflected by the calm sea in trembling water. Nothing but darkness and stars were on the horizon, which would probably continue for the following hours, since Nami had chosen a peaceful location to spend the sleeping hours. It was a nice night, and you were used to the watch duty, so it would hopefully be peaceful, even if you weren’t exactly prepared for it, talking in terms of hours of sleep.

Silence took over, only interrupted by the familiar sound of waves against the ship's sides, gently rocking it, quiet enough for you to hear the ringing in your ears that resulted from all the loud mess during the day.

A sigh escaped your lips as you stretched a little, groaning, about to lie down on the couch when the hatch to the crow’s nest suddenly opened and made you stop in your tracks. It was predictable, somewhat, but you didn’t move at all while following the jelly-like form that Luffy always melted into whenever he was sleepy. His arms stretched and wrapped around you before he slowly dragged closer and groaned, burying his face in your neck.

You raised your eyebrows lightly before slowly wrapping your arms around him. “Luffy?” You poked his side lightly, but at the lack of response, you pressed a hand to his forehead to push him away enough to take a look at his face—he had a light frown on his features, mumbling incoherently. “Luffy? Babe, what are you doing here?”

Despite how Luffy didn’t say anything in response, you presumed that he’d been hearing you when he pouted in response. You sighed and nudged him a little more.

“Mmgh, I wanted to sleep with you,” he whined as he weakly tried to fight against your palm and nuzzle your neck again, but he still couldn’t do a lot.

“Yeah, okay, you sure do,” you sighed, narrowing your eyes lightly at Luffy. He pouted more, and his lips only returned to normal when you finally let go of his forehead and pressed some kisses to your neck; he could finally snuggle against you properly, happily. He mumbled something that tickled your skin, once again incoherent. You shook your head and exhaled softly, looking out the window once more.

It would all be okay if Luffy didn’t start squirming too much, wrapping his legs around your hips as he shifted and ground against you, and fuck, that’s what he was there for. If he’d wanted to sleep with you, he would’ve simply done it earlier.

“Luffy,” you mumbled with a sigh, moving your legs a little in an attempt to get him to react, and Luffy did, pulling you closer and sinking his teeth into your neck, right at a sensitive area. “Fuck,” you gasped and tightened your grip on him instinctively. “Damn it…”

Your protests fell deaf in his ears as Luffy kept biting on your neck, sloppily nipping and sucking on the same sensitive spot until you couldn’t help but push your hips up against his while cursing under your breath. He most likely left a mark behind—an exaggerated one—, but the sleepiness and arousal clouding your mind didn’t allow you to care about it.

“Mmph,” Luffy groaned and mumbled your name through a breath as he adjusted himself on your lap, hands meeting behind your neck and trailing into your shirt, rubbing the bit of skin he could reach. “Fuuuck,” he groaned; his cock ground perfectly against yours, making him shudder as his thighs tightened around you.

“Luffy—”

Lips pressed against yours, interrupting whatever you had to say and erasing the words from your mind until you could finally process the situation and start kissing Luffy in return. His kisses were always so messy and sloppy, and you always found yourself enjoying it, letting your lips move in sync with his own, even allowing his tongue into your mouth after it trailed along your bottom lip.

Luffy’s hands were on the back of your neck to hold your head in place and successfully deepen the kiss and snatch a throaty moan from you, given how intense it felt. Ah, fuck. You couldn’t resist it for longer, holding Luffy’s hips still and grinding against them, seeking more of that damn friction. Every nibble on your lips sent sparkles of pleasure running down your spine. He tugged on your lips with his teeth, sucked, and licked over the bite marks, all with his eyes closed, invested in making out in a way that you were barely able to keep up with.

“Please,” Luffy breathed, his eyebrows knitted together in the middle of his forehead. He kept grinding, not even bothering to meet your motions.

“You’re a problem.” A breath escaped your swollen lips as you slowly slipped your hands down, letting them rest on his ass to give them a light squeeze before you reached into his shorts’ pocket—the lube was there, as predicted. He lazily allowed you to undress him, helping at minimum, but he seemed a little eager when you were the one undressing, even allowing his eyes to crack open a little bit.

Luffy let out a long and hoarse hum, arching his back against the couch in the new position, and gasped at the cold air hitting his cock directly—it twitched, but not as much as it did when you traced his entrance with lubed-up fingers. He whined and arched his back just with it, groaning as he mumbled in a request for more, and you quickly granted it.

Two of your fingers pushed deep into Luffy—your initial intention wasn’t to finger him, but you decided to have some fun with him. Maybe a payback for disturbing your focus during the night watch. You were between his legs, bent over him, propped up by an elbow to observe his face while your fingers thrust in and out of his hole at a medium pace. His eyes remained closed despite everything, pressed shut as he moaned and squirmed with the new stimulus.

You curled your fingers, pressing them along his spongy walls until you found the spot that made him arch his back and curl his toes, and you didn’t hesitate to caress the spot. He looked so cute, squirming and whining, hands closing around nothing as he sought the support he couldn’t find.

“Fuck,” Luffy gasped, and his eyes rolled back into his head when your free hand now wrapped around his cock to stroke it in rhythm with your fingering. Your movements around his cock were a little restricted at first, but they soon became easier with the pre-cum that dripped down the tip, acting as a makeshift lube. His thighs quivered and threatened to close around your hands, but you managed to keep them apart with your elbows and hooking a leg over his.

The stimulation was clearly too much. Beads of sweat accumulated on his forehead already, and Luffy moaned through gritted teeth, clawing at the couch’s cushion. “Please, ‘m going… Mmph, ‘m close…” It was fast and predictable from Luffy, with all this stimulation. He cried softly, arching his back off the couch, but your hands withdrew before it was too late, resulting in cries from Luffy as the orgasm fizzled away. He squirmed, trying to seek more of what was already gone.

You couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped your lips, biting your lip as you guided Luffy back into place, rubbing circles into the inner sides of his thighs. “Was that good?”

“Mmph, I need you, you inside me, please,” Luffy babbled as he observed you through half-open eyes, thrusting his hips into the air as he tried to wrap his legs around you again.

“Okay, okay,” you mumbled with a nod. “I will.”

The lube warmed up against your hand before you wrapped it around your cock, groaning at finally receiving the much-needed touch, even if it was from yourself, for a brief moment. A breath slowly escaped your lips as you found a comfortable position between Luffy’s legs again, only letting the tip of your cock rest against his fluttering hole at first so that you could watch him squirm more in need. Cute. You couldn’t hold back for a lot longer, though.

Finally, you pushed your cock in, gasping at the warm feeling of Luffy’s walls squeezing your cock as it thrust into him, slowly building a consistent pace. He let out a long moan with it, his expression melting into something more relaxed as your cock sank into him, finally giving him the pleasure he wanted so much.

“That’s it,” you moaned. The pace was only interrupted when you shifted to get on top of him again, propped up by an elbow beside him and allowing Luffy to wrap his arms around your neck while you fucked him.

“Mmph, (y/n) feels so good,” Luffy mumbled, kissing the side of your face. He arched his back, and his legs were enveloping your hips again, keeping you there as you increased your pace a little.

“I think I needed this,” you breathed mostly to yourself and buried your face in Luffy’s neck to return the messy kisses and nibbles that he had left on your neck. His moans grew whinier, and he held you tighter, scratching your back as he tried to keep his grip on them, poorly trying to rock his hips with yours. “You feel so good, Luf’,” you mumbled against his neck, your free hand massaging and squeezing his thigh.

“Yeah,” Luffy whined, and his legs quivered when your thrusts grew more intense.

You took your time to take in every detail of Luffy. The way his walls squeezed your cock tightly, how his short nails dragged up your skin, his heavy breathing against your ear, desperate whiny moans, thighs tightening around your hips… It felt so good. Heaven after the usual stress.

Luffy’s breath caught in his throat, and you could only conclude that all the stimuli from earlier were catching up now, bringing his orgasm close easier than usual. You paid closer attention to his mannerisms this time, keeping thrusting until his sounds were a pitch-higher, and his grip was tighter around you, so you pulled out.

Once again, Luffy was left to the agony of a fading orgasm, squirming and clinging to you for the touch that never came. He let out a sound that resembled a sob, wrapping his arms tighter around you and burying his face in your shoulder. “(Y/n),” he whined, crying out softly, “please, please, please, I need it…”

“Poor thing,” you mumbled, stroking his thigh. The sudden interruption was uncomfortable for you as well, but you couldn’t help the urge to edge Luffy again. His cries, the pleading, the whimpering… It all stirred the arousal in your lower stomach in such ways. You could hold on for a little longer until the orgasm distanced itself away from Luffy just enough. “You’re doing so well,” you whispered against his skin, between soft kisses to his shoulder, which seemed to soothe him enough.

It felt like an eternity had passed when you guided your cock into him again. A shiver ran down your spine, and you could only imagine what Luffy felt as his walls clenched around your cock when it was completely inside him again. He gasped, clinging to you again and letting out a long moan as your new pace picked up faster than before. Your cock ran into him faster and more intensely as well, making your bodies gently rock whenever they met.

“Don’t stop, please, don’t stop,” Luffy mumbled into your ear, and you wondered if tears were escaping his eyes, given the wetness that accumulated where your faces were pressed together.

Even if you wanted to, you didn’t think you could stop this time. Luffy milked your cock so efficiently, and your orgasm was in the distance already, so all that you needed to do was seek it now.

The new angle of your hips made you hit a spot inside Luffy that made him go all tight around your cock, and his moans went a pitch higher all over again, signing that you were on the right path. Luffy’s hands went everywhere with it, scratching your back, holding the back of your neck, tugging on your hair, but he finally returned them to their original place on your back.

“‘M close, don’t stop, please,” Luffy insisted as his head fell back against the cushion.

“I won’t,” you reassured with a groan, gripping his thigh tighter. Your elbow was starting to burn from being pressed against the cushion for so long and because of the friction, but you were almost there. It wouldn’t stop you now.

Your nails dragged along Luffy’s skin, and he was cumming, crying out loudly as his cum painted the space between the two of you, all white and sticky. He came for a little longer than usual, and it was enough to trigger your own orgasm, which ran up your thighs and tightened the knot in your lower stomach before your load was shot inside Luffy. You kept thrusting, not caring about the mess it would make on the couch—it was too late to think about it—, just about how good it felt to finally release, to reach the peak of pleasure inside Luffy like that. Fuck.

“Babe,” you mumbled breathlessly, cupping Luffy’s cheek and kissing all over his face until finally kissing his lips. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” The fuck made the sleepiness tug on your eyelids and muscles, making them heavier despite your remaining duty of watching the surroundings of the ship for any potential danger during the night hours. “I’ll kill you,” you muttered in aggressive affection, not caring that he was already mostly asleep while you still talked to him.

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

#one piece #one piece live action #opla #monkey d luffy #x reader #x male reader #luffy x reader #luffy x male reader #one piece x reader #oneshot #headcanon #imagine #scanerio #preference #fan fic #fan fiction #monkey d luffy x reader

[visionarymode]

Tension

✧ warnings: smut, language, 18+

✧ pairing: jimmy uso x female reader

✧ word count: 3,748

“Daaaaamn girl let me get your number,” she heard a man’s voice echo from behind her. She rolled her eyes continuing to walk down the parking lot eager to find her car. 

“Not interested!” she called out. 

“Shut me down that fast I’m hurt for real.” 

She furrowed her brows somewhat recognizing the familiar voice. She turned around to see Jimmy walking in her direction. He was wearing a black long sleeve and black shorts, carrying his duffel bag. He had 2 braids in and his chain shined in the dim lights surrounding the empty parking lot. He shot her a confused look as he held his hand to his chest. 

“You killed my self esteem right then and there,” he exaggerated.

She giggled from his sarcastic remark and felt a huge weight lift off her shoulders knowing it wasn’t a random man trying to pick her up this late at night. 

“I didn’t know it was you,” she expressed feeling her cheeks flush. Jimmy was always someone that caused butterflies to flutter in her stomach…and other places just from his perfect smile or playful comments. Their lighthearted flirting whenever they were in each others presence very much didn’t help that situation. 

“Oh, that changes your answer then?” he asked with an eyebrow raise as he reached her proximity to embrace her for a hug. She hugged back, wrapping her arms around his neck, his heavenly aroma filling her nostrils from his cologne. Every time Jimmy hugged her he would leave his hang lingering on her lower back for a few seconds longer when they both pulled back. The action was so little but the tingles that spread through her body from his touch were so…big. 

“You leavin’?” he asked. 

“Yeah, if I can ever find my car or a damn hotel room. Everything’s booked,” she sighed looking around for her car again. 

“I’ve been looking for one too. None of these-“ he was cut off as drops of rain started to hit their heads. 

“Oh fuck,” you huffed. 

“Forget your car for now. C’mon,” he grabbed her hand and initiated for her to pick up the pace as the rainfalls became steadier and heavier. He quickly unlocked his car and they both got in as quick as they could. They were both completely soaked, panting in the quiet and dark space as the forceful rain loudly tapped on the windshield, breaking the silence. 

“Even the damn rain don’t want us to talk,” he playfully huffed. 

“Maybe it was a sign,” she suggested with a laugh. 

“Yeah, what kinda sign?” She felt his piercing gaze on her and turned her head to meet it. He ran his hand over his wet beard and licked his lips, a slight smirk creeping on them. She knows that he felt the exact tantalizing tension she was feeling between the both of them. The same tension that was always present whenever they both crossed paths or were in the same room together. But both of them never acted on it. Maybe it was hesitancy. Maybe it was nervousness. Maybe it was the thought that if anything did ever happen, it would ruin a great friendship. So that tension continued playing with their heads as they let it take over. 

She was scrolling and scrolling through the holiday inn website and managed to find an available standard room, with only one king sized bed. 

“Okay I found one, but it seems to be the only one,” she expressed as she turned her phone towards him. The bright light of her phone accentuated his features and those butterflies rushed back in her body. He licked his lips as his pretty brown eyes wandered along the descriptive words of the hotel room. 

“This is nice as hell. Let’s just book it for the both of us,” he suggested handing her back her phone. They both looked at each other and she could’ve sworn the sound of her thudding heart was about to expose itself. 

“What you think?” he asked when she didn’t respond. She snapped back into reality and grabbed her phone to book the room. 

“I guess I’ll have to settle for you,” she playfully replied as she started filling out the details. 

“Settle? Nah, this right here is the best roommate you’re ever gonna have.” He pronounced as he started the car and put it in reverse. 

✧✧✧✧✧

When they got to the hotel they checked in and headed up the elevator to their room. She used her key card to unlock the door as Jimmy followed behind her. 

“It’s pretty nice, right?” she asked turning to him. 

“Hell yeah! Look at this big ass TV,” he remarked. She giggled as he acted like a  show girl presenting the winning prize. They set their luggage to the side and charged their phones because of their batteries running low. 

“Whew, okay. I’m gonna shower real quick,” she stated grabbing some clothes out her suitcase. 

“Go ‘head. I’ll go after you. You up for a movie?” he asked plopping himself onto the bed. 

“Yes!” she replied as she watched him turn on the TV. She locked the bathroom door and sighed, feeling many emotions at once. She’s hung out with Jimmy a bunch of times…so why does this time feel so different? 

✧✧✧✧✧

They both showered and snuggled up in the dark as the tv screen brightened the room. She had on a pair of gray short shorts and a cropped sweater. Jimmy settled for a black t shirt & shorts. He surprised her with glasses of tequila sunrise to spice up their little movie night. The movie continued playing in the background as drinks kept pouring over the hour. They were both fairly drunk and ended up steering away from the movie twenty minutes in to start a conversation about the next night and what they both had scheduled. 

“Ooh! I got some new gear for tomorrow. I’m so excited to wear it,” she exclaimed remembering that the seamstress made special white & blue gear for her hometown appearance tomorrow night. 

“Now you gotta show me,” he said taking another sip of his drink. 

“I have a picture hold on.” 

She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and laid back next to him as their arms touched from the closeness. He moved it to reposition it around her shoulder, looking on as she pulled up the pictures in her camera roll. 

“Okay so this is the front…” she showed him. 

“Damn, that’s nice as hell.” he hyped as he tickled her shoulder. 

“And then this is the- oh shit.” She swiped the wrong way and thankfully he didn’t notice the scandalous mirror picture she took earlier in the day in her red lingerie because of her quick reflexes. 

“Now wait, what was that?” He eagerly asked with a grin on his face. 

“Nothing, wrong picture. This is the back-“ 

“Nah, now I’m curious let me see what it was.” He sat up chugging the rest of his glass till it was empty.

“Jimmy drop it,” she giggled and reciprocated his action, finishing her drink to set it on the table. As soon as she set it down, he suddenly snatched her phone from her hand. 

“Jimmy?!” she gasped and quickly turned her head back to him dropping her jaw while he was laughing. 

“I wanna see what you hiding up in here,” he held the phone above his head trying to return to the photo album. 

“It was nothing just give me my phone!” she tried to grab it out of his left hand but he held it out of reach on the other side of the bed as he extended his right arm. The pictures of her gear came back up and his thumb motioned to swipe to the left close to revealing the selfie. She jumped on top of him, practically straddling him but she was too tipsy to acknowledge the position and instead focused on getting her phone back. 

“Jimmy I swear if you don’t give me it-“ 

“You’ll what?” he asked. His eyes locked with hers before he glanced at her lips. She didn’t even notice his other hand resting on her thigh until his thumbs started caressing them. She felt her pussy skip a beat from his touch and those enticing brown eyes that glinted with…hunger. 

“J-Just give it,” she stammered holding out her hand. He sighed and nodded, trying to act like he was hurt from her secrecy. She didn’t mean to laugh out loud at his pouty reaction, but he quickly reacted and dropped his jaw.

“Oh what’s funny now?” 

“Nothing,” she giggled.

“You know what-“ 

“No wai-“ she paused as her picture popped up and his eyes slightly widened, almost in awe. 

“God…damn.” he whistled. He intently looked at her in admiration. 

“Jimmy!” she whined with embarrassment, nudging him in the chest. 

“Whatchu’ embarrassed about? Being fine as hell?” he asked looking at her like she were out of her mind. The abrupt comment caught her off guard and as much as she tried to hide her smile, it was irresistible. 

“Yeah, you know you fine as hell,” he grinned at her eye rolling. 

“Can I have my phone back?” she asked feeling her cheeks burning up. 

“What’s the magic word?” 

“Jimmy-“ 

“EH. Wrong answer,” he imitated the sound of a buzzer and laughed at her annoyance. She sighed, trying her best to prevent a laugh. 

“Please, can I have my phone back?” she asked holding out her hand once again. 

He kept a fixed look on her, subtly peering up and down her body straddling his. She watched as he locked her phone and set it down on the nightstand. She furrowed her brows in confusion but didn’t have time to wonder about his actions before he grabbed her extended hand to dab her up. 

“My bad,” he apologized not taking his eyes off her. She felt her heart pounding as their hands were still interlocked from the handshake. 

“It’s okay…” she hesitantly whispered, staring right back at his captivating eyes. 

“Let me make it up to you.” The hand that rested on her thigh snaked its way up to her hip to delicately grip it. She felt a thrill shoot down her spine at the gesture, her panties getting damper by the second. The sexual tension and alcohol in her system were clashing and bombarding her senses.

“Oh yeah?” she challenged using her free hand to play with the hem of his shirt. 

“Mhm…” he responded, licking his lips. He took advantage of their intertwined hands to pull her into him as he planted a soft, passionate kiss on her lips. She grabbed his face and effortlessly kissed back, feeling the bulge in his shorts and responded by grinding on him. He softly moaned and ran his hands over her ass before squeezing it to deepen the grind. The kiss became sloppier as their tongues danced in each others mouths. They both fought over whose tongue to suck as she continued grinding on his growing bulge, her drunk and horny feelings taking over her body. 

“You drive me crazy…you know that?” he whispered. She gasped as he smacked her ass followed by a hard grope. He started dragging his tongue down her neck and swirled it in circles. Her head fell back from his wet and warm tongue taking its time sucking on her sweet spots. His fingers grazed her waist, instantly erupting with goosebumps from the contact as he lifted her cropped sweater top above her head.

“My bad…” she drunkly professed at her failed but purposeful attempt at wearing a bra. He cupped her breasts in his hands, smirking at her comment before sliding his tongue back in her mouth. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her left thigh closer to his waist as he slowly lapped at her nipple. 

“Fuuuck…” she moaned as he sucked on it while twiddling the other nipple with his thumb. 

“This is what you were hidin’ from me?” he mumbled as a loud and wet smack was heard from his aggressive sucking. He continued sliding his tongue up, down, and around her breasts as she continued to grind on him. He dragged his tongue from her breasts back up to her neck and reached her lips as they both moaned in unison, desperate for more gratification. He slipped his hand in her shorts and ran his fingers over her damp panties, causing a shaky moan to fall from her mouth. 

“You’re so wet for me, huh?” he asked as he continued to teasingly run his digits up and down her drenched panties.

“Yeah…” she mumbled against his lips as she rocked her hips, her mind spinning uncontrollably longing more of him.

“I want this pussy in my mouth,” he vocalized in a deep, low voice. He took his hand out her shorts and flipped her on her back to get on top of her. She bit her bottom lip as her legs struggled to stay still watching him take his tee off, exposing his tanned and tattooed body. He licked his lips as he hovered over her, running his hands up her legs, waist and back up to her breasts to squeeze them. He left sloppy pecks down her neck and stomach and watched her squirm as he pulled her shorts off.

“Jimmy…” she whined as he once again teased his fingers over her panties that were completely soaked. He ignored her whines and slowly ran his tongue over her panties. 

“Whatchu’ want? Hm?” he toyed, his fingertips tugging at the hem of her panties. 

“Stop playing and let me cum in your mouth…” she finally let out and without hesitancy he slipped her panties off her, snatching her legs to the edge of the bed to place her thighs on his shoulders. He stared her down as he split open her drenched folds with his thumb and forefinger as he licked up her wetness. 

“Oh fuuuuuck…” she loudly moaned as he started gliding his tongue up and down her entrance. 

“Fuck…” he groaned between licks. “You taste so damn good…” 

She felt like she was floating from pleasure as her eyes shut from his savage tongue tracing her pussy. He started flicking it at a viscous pace causing her back to arch. 

“J-Jimmy…” she stutteringly moaned as he swirled his tongue around her clit before enclosing his lips around it. He continued to suck on it as he rubbed his two middle fingers up and down her slick opening. Her arms started clutching at the sheets above her head as he slipped in his fingers causing her to suck in a sharp breath. 

“Oh my god…” she cried out clutching her thighs around his head. The sound of his sloppy coated fingers pumping in and out of her matched the frantic pace of his tongue sucking on her clit. 

“Fuuuuuuck…I’m gonna cum” she loudly moaned feeling her high intensify. 

“Yeah?” he tauntingly asked over the loud sloshes of his finger fucking. 

“Cum for me baby…” he breathed against her lower lips as he slowly retracted his fingers and replaced them with his tongue, dipping it in and out of her hole as her loud cries filled the room. She grabbed his head to help her grind against his tongue as she felt her orgasm take over her entire body. Her legs started shaking as she released in his mouth, her cum dribbling down her thighs and his beard. He growled as he slurped and licked every ounce of her juices. He kept his mouth on her pussy and let her ride out the rest of her high. He dragged his fingers up and down her thighs, slowing down the pace of his tongue as he watched her completely blissed out with her mouth parted open. 

“Holy…shit.” she breathed out. 

He chuckled and gently set her thighs back down on the edge of the bed as she watched him stand back up. His beard glistened with her cum causing her to smirk. 

“What’s your pretty ass smiling about?” he crawled on top of her to kiss her as she tasted her nectar mixed with his saliva.  

“Didn’t know your tongue was that dangerous…” she grinned against his lips, scooting back up the bed to lay her head on the pillow. That orgasm was so powerful that she felt drunker than she was before he ate her out. 

“You ain’t seen dangerous yet…” he expressed in a low and growly tone, crawling up the bed following her. His fingers found themselves back down to her slick folds. He scooped up her drippy mess and sucked it off his fingers as she held back her moan at the sight. 

“Yeah?” she asked wrapping her finger around his chain that dangled across her chest. 

“Mmm,” he moaned back as she fondled with the bulge in his shorts with her lower leg. 

“Show me how dangerous Jim Uso can be then,” she cooed pulling his chain with her forefinger bringing him back down to her lips. He slipped his tongue in her mouth as she sucked on it. He took off his shorts and boxers revealing his long, hard, pretty tanned dick. She bit her lip at the pre cum dripping down his slit as he wrapped his hand around his length to stroke himself. 

“Jim Uso don’t play…” he whispered as he grabbed her throat. She softly whimpered as he slowly teased his tip up and down her entrance, their juices mixing together as he spread it across her hole. He slipped his length inside of her with ease as they both moaned in unison. He thrusted himself inside her at a steady pace, as she wrapped her legs around his waist. 

“Why the fuck we ain’t do this sooner?” he groaned against her lips. Her mouth fell open from her loud whine as he started to pick up the speed. 

“Mmmmm my god,” she cried grasping his shoulders. 

“You like this dick, huh baby?” he moaned to her, massaging her inner walls with his thick dick.

“Yeeeeees oh fuck,” she screamed as he hurriedly buried himself in her, her walls fluttering around his dick. 

“You’re so sexy…” he purred in her ear as his moan followed pursuit, rumbling her senses as landed on cloud nine. She felt heat rush through her body at his low and pretty moan, causing her to wrap her arms around his neck, their sweaty warm bodies sticking like magnets. He took that as an opportunity to abruptly scoop her up onto his lap before turning on his back. He wrapped his arms around her warm and glistening body as he started pumping her, the loud sound of his balls hitting her ass cheeks with each thrust. 

“Jim-Jimmy…” she cried out. He cupped her ass with his hands for extra leverage continuing to fill up her walls with his long length. She felt her vision get blurry as her breath hitched in her throat from the loud sobs. 

“Fuck…moan my name again…I love that shit,” he groaned as he spanked her ass most likely leaving a red print.

“Jimmy…oh my gooooood” she whined over and over feeling shockwaves build up in her body. 

“This tight…pretty pussy…of yours…is what’s dangerous…” he moaned as the loud wet sounds of their bodies collided  between each set of words. 

“I’m-I’m gonna c-cum…” she struggled to get out as she felt light headed feeling every inch of his dick pile driving into her. 

“Yeah? Milk this dick baby…” 

“I want you to cum inside me daddy…” she confessed in his ear so he could hear her over the loud and reckless smacking of his soaked dick hitting her g spot. He smirked as he spread open her ass to deepen his viscous thrusts. She felt her vision and hearing get completely blinded as her climax crept up on her. Her walls spasmed and contracted one final time as she released and coated his dick, feeling heat pooling her lower back. He watched her eyes roll to the back of her head as she let out one final cry from her orgasm, resulting in him reciprocating her actions and cumming inside of her. 

“Fuck, baby…” he tightly gripped her ass as he thrusted one slow and final time emptying his seed inside of her. He let her ride him for another minute as she came down from her high. They looked at each other in disbelief, not knowing they could ever experience such wild and crazy sex with each other like they just did. All those years filled with unspoken tension and electrifying eye exchanges built up...to this. 

“Oh…my god,” she blurted out with a raspy tone, sitting up on his lap. He grinned at her, gently massaging her thighs as she moved her hair out of her face. She slowly lifted her body as he pulled out, another groan escaping their mouths. He got up to grab towels from the bathroom and helped her wipe their splattered mess from her inner thighs.

“That was hot as fuck…” he expressed, looking up at her. His forehead and chest glistened with sweat and so did her body as she felt a tiny drop fall down her chest. He laid back down on the bed and wrapped an arm around her to pull her close. 

“Told you I’m the best roommate you’ll ever have,” he said breaking the silent sound of their breathing. She covered her mouth from laughing, still shocked that they just fucked like wild animals. 

“Whatchu’ laughing about now?” he chuckled. 

“I can’t believe we just did that…” she turned to him. 

“I can’t believe we just now did that,” he replied as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. 

“Only…now?” she playfully asked tracing her finger around his chest tattoos. 

“Nah…It’s gonna happen again,” he vocalized grabbing her leg to wrap around his waist. He ran his hand up and down her thigh as they laid cuddled while the movie credits started rolling.

“Damn we fucked throughout this whole movie?” she shockingly asked followed by a giggle. 

“Our movie was waaaaay better,” he remarked snaking his hand around her ass to grab it. He cupped her jaw as he planted a soft kiss on her lips. 

“So…sequel then?” she mumbled against his mouth. 

“Sequel? I’m trying to create a whole franchise with you…” 

✧✧✧✧✧

thank you so much for reading! had to show jimmy some love, I hope y'all enjoyed this little friends to lovers type fic <3 let me know if you want to be added to my taglist :)

you can read my other fics here ❤️‍����

taglist: @harmshake @cyberdejos2 @foreverlyjay @sassginaswanmills @theninthwonder @jeyusos-girl @bebesobrielo @2-muchsauce

#wwe #the usos #jimmy uso #jimmy uso x reader #jimmy uso x oc #jimmy uso x you #jimmy uso fanfiction #jimmy uso smut #jimmy uso imagine #jimmy uso x fem reader

[yourdoorisunlocked]

Something Unexpected - Lucifer Headcanons

𝐀/𝐍: A fluffy bulleted fanfic in the form of bulleted points and a dash of headcanons, featuring the apple daddy of hell himself, Lucifer ;)

This is mostly me simping for the short, awkward duck-loving lil guy, and also experimenting with writing for his character.

Anyways, enjoy!

. . .

🎪 When you met Lucifer, you were honestly shell-shocked. He was so... whimsical, and captivating, maybe a bit awkward, and with his ringleader getup, it made him look equally as silly as he seemed. He just... wasn't whom you were expecting at all.

🎪 "Charlie... That's your dad!?"

🎪 "Well... Yeah? Why do you sound so surprised?"

🎪 "Look at him!" He didn't seem anything like the Lucifer you'd heard stories of from your parents, who tried to scare you away from debauchery and sin with their over-exaggerated tales from their biblical teachings.

🎪 They didn't exactly pay off, clearly.

🎪 But this? This was absolutely not who you thought you had to protect Charlie from.

🎪 You were the 'mom' of the Hazbin Crew, always looking out for everyone, and earning yourself a soft, irreplaceable spot in their hearts. And you clearly had a soft spot for Charlie, and that set off many initial alarm bells for Lucifer.

🎪 He didn't want to have another Alastor on his hands.

🎪 Lucifer cornered you about this, of course, and you were still grappling with the fact that he wasn't how you thought he was going to be at all.

🎪 And you turned out to be just as unexpected...

🎪 “I’m just worried about her… She has such a big heart, and I just don’t want her to get hurt. I should know what it’s like to be taken advantage of by people I put my trust and love into."

🎪 Though he is slightly curious about that, he decides that perhaps it'd be nice to have someone checking up on Charlie from time to time, and there is no way he's encouraging Alastor's presence anywhere near her.

🎪 You also found his love and overprotectiveness for his daughter quite endearing, although it was insufferable to watch them be so awkward around each other in the beginning.

🎪 So, you agreed to watch over Charlie for Lucifer, making sure to encourage her dreams in his stead. For Charlie's happiness, and because, well, why would you say no? You were already looking after her before.

🎪 As soon as Lucifer leaves, Charlie is bounding up to you with a wide smile, taking your hands in hers and bouncing up and down on the carpeted floors, so hard she's making indents with her hooves.

🎪 "Oh, isn't it great!? He believes in me! Me! I thought that after, well everything that happened with Mom, that he'd..." her eyes grow sullen as the mention of her mother sours her mood, and you brush a hand against her cheek with a gentle, reassuring smile.

🎪 "I have a feeling he always has, Charlie. He just never knew how to say it. And sometimes, when a parent sees themselves in their own children, it... Terrifies them." You turn to an apple-paned window with a melancholic gaze.

🎪 "He's just trying his hardest for you because he doesn't want to see you fall like he did. You can't fall farther than Hell, but if you try..." you trail off, and your implication held heavy in the air.

🎪 "But he loves you, and I know that his pride for you knows no bounds, and nor does his worry, Charlie." The demoness brightens at your words, practically tearing up as she grips your midsection in a hug. "Thank you," she whispers, and you ruffle her pale blonde hair with a fond smile.

🎪 Little did you know, Lucifer had been silently stalking watching the both of you from afar, and he leaves that evening with a heavy weight lifted from his shoulders.

🎪 As he continues to visit the hotel, he checks in with you for a moment upon the establishment's progress, Charlie, and casual conversation in general.

🎪 As more time passes, and Lucifer makes more and more frequent visits to the hotel - much to Alastor’s chagrin - after spending some precious time in his daughter's company, he'll ask around for your whereabouts.

🎪 You'll both naturally fall into more casual conversation outside of the hotel's progress, and you soon realize that there was more beneath the surface of Hell's estranged ruler.

🎪 Lucifer was captivating, alluring in every form of the word. A creative, inspiring soul who once held dreams and aspirations, and now, the fire that once burned within him was passed onto his daughter.

🎪 And you could see his desperation to keep that flame inside of Charlie alight.

🎪 Lucifer slowly grows fond of your company, giving you little sculptures of ducks, and spending near hours raving about his little creations with you.

🎪 In a haze of his sleep-deprived subconscious, he even made a little duckie for you, complete with all of your defining features that he found the most attractive prominent.

🎪 It ended up being his personal comfort/therapy duck until you found it, and putting together the resemblance, teased him about it slightly, to which he kept stubbornly denying it.

🎪 "Okay, but you have to admit, it's clear where you got your inspiration from," you held the duckie up to your face, noting just how precise Lucifer was when making it. Huh, he really hit the mark with this one.

🎪 The king of Hell turned on his heel, his jacket and hat discarded to the side, and leaving him in his striped circus-patterned dress shirt and ivory slacks.

🎪 "I don't know what you're talking about," Lucifer bent over his desk, trying to look like he was actually doing something, but his heart and mind were going a mile a minute. Damn his adorable hyperfixations!

🎪 "Maybe it was just coincidence! I don't know, sometimes I get inspired by things that I..." he glanced at you as you raised an eyebrow at him, and the small red circles plastered against his moonlight-stricken skin glowed a bright red.

🎪 "J-Just coincidence. Uh-huh, that's right..." he wasn't sure whether he was trying to convince you, or himself with that one.

🎪 Oh, yeah, you totally bought that bullshit.

🎪 "Well, for what it's worth, you did a pretty good job. This is your best one, yet!" You beam at him and tuck the small duck figure under your arm.

🎪 "So... can I keep it? Pretty please?"

🎪 Lucifer shoves some papers and blueprints off of his desk, completely focused on his work instead of how beautiful your smile was. "No."

🎪 After that, he creates a little duck of himself to keep beside the one in your likeness upon his desk whenever you aren't around. He inches them closer together every now and then or whenever he gets nervous or jittery.

🎪 Slowly but surely, Lucifer began to fall. And he is terrified of it. He's starting to yearn for your company, visit the hotel simply to seek you out, and this familiar thudding feeling is giving him a headache that can't be soothed by the fizzling warmth of alcohol.

🎪 Charlie begins to notice her father's strange behavior, and how it happens particularly around you...

🎪 Of course, the eccentric princess puts it all together, and she tries to keep it a secret, she really does, but the fact that her dad could actually be falling in love with one of her closest friends, and that he might finally be able to move on from her mother makes her heart overflow with a plethora of emotions.

🎪 The poor girl ends up spilling the details of your rom-com of a love life to Vaggie while hugging a pillow, crying joyful tears as her girlfriend chuckles and simply kisses her forehead with a small smile.

🎪 "Don't worry, hon. I'm sure it'll all be fine in the end. Just sleep it off, okay? And don't, I mean DON'T get involved in their love life, alright? Your dad needs some time to figure this out on his own."

🎪 "But I really want to help them! I know she likes him back; I just know it! And besides, he'll never confess on his own-!"

🎪 "It'll all be solved later, don't worry, Charlie. Besides, we can't just drop everything for this, can we? The hotel still needs our help,"

🎪 "Their love needs our help," Vaggie raised an expectant eyebrow, and Charlie receded with a pout. "But I guess it could wait..."

🎪 "Attagirl."

🎪 Meanwhile, as you toss and turn in your own bed, a deep fondness for the king that ran deeper than you would like to admit blossomed in your heart and was beginning to see the first rays of radiant sunlight that just so happened to be your unconditional adoration for the king of Hell.

🎪 Lucifer could make you laugh, smile, and gasp with a wonderment that you hadn't ever felt before, and your heart began to ache for more. More of his presence, and his whimsical, goofy nature that time had taught you to relish and look forward to.

🎪 All you could do was sleep, close your eyes and hope that these feelings would stamp themselves out soon.

🎪 But all of that proved to be futile as you woke with a start in the middle of the night, the hazy visions of clipped wings, magnificent and radiant in all their seldom glory, remained fresh in your mind.

🎪 The glow of a shiny red apple faded from your vision, as you clenched your arms and buried your face into your pillow.

🎪 You were in for a long night...

. . .

𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: This was... surprisingly really fun and cute to write! I'll definitely be continuing this, since I really want to flesh it out more

Once again, please, PLEASE use the taglist for my sake 😭🙏 it can get sort of overwhelming when I can't remember certain usernames and tag them, and it's just to make things easier for me.

Oh and Lucifer's aesthetic is circuscore, of course. Underrated aesthetic frfr 🎪💫🍎

. . .

𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @starsformydarlingmazel, @chitter-chatter, @hazzbindarlingg, @darkangel582, @matrixbearer2024, @prosciuttosblog, @frog-fans-unite, @mysterypotatoink, @burgerflipper72, @chibikochannumberone, @strawberry-gothic, @roboticsuccubus83, @lulurubberduckie

#lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #yourdoorisunlocked #lucifer hazbin hotel #I'VE DONE IT! I'VE MADE HEADCANONS! #HELL YEAAH #this is a beautiful development #expect more of this guy in the future 🐍✨🍎

[chastiefoul]

telling them that they're pretty.

characters: xiao, zhongli, thoma, alhaitham, itto.

tags: fluff. and very very self-indulgent.

Xiao

He was just standing there, looking over the scattered fields below from the balcony of Wangshu Inn, the breeze swayed his hair gently. With the pouring leaves around him, he looked like a still picture. A beautiful piece of picture.

“Xiao, you are so pretty.” You blurted out, his splendor just somehow overwhelmed you that you could not help but to say. A soft color of pink descended on his cheeks, making what was already an amazing view somehow breath-taking.

“What a ridiculous thing to say to someone such as myself.” He coughed a little to his fist, an attempt to calm his flustered-self. “It’s not, I’m just speaking the truth!” You fumed, crossing your arms, turning  your gaze elsewhere. It eventually reaches the seemingly infinity falling leaves, you could not help but stare in wonderment, the banter long forgotten. At this sight Xiao only shook his head, a burst of fondness tickled his chest.

Is it not you, who’s so incredibly stunning? He thought in silence, a soft smile displayed across his feature.

Zhongli

It was without question that Zhongli is an attractive man. You honestly could not think even for a time where he does not look presentable. But right now, seeing him sipping on a cup of tea so elegantly and gracefully, it was a quite dazzling picture. The loud evening atmosphere of the restaurant and the storytelling was a buzzing noise on the back of your head, his gesture had captured you completely. The almost to no sound clink of his cup snapped you out of the trance. To be this smitten over someone who’s just drinking tea.. you could not help but laugh to yourself softly. “Would you mind sharing what is so amusing to you, dear?” He asked, feeling pleased to see that you’re enjoying yourself.

“Ah, it’s nothing. I just thought you were especially pretty just now.” You brought your own tea to your lips, perhaps the cup would at least hide a part of your embarrassed expression. He just chuckled, “How amusing indeed, I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

Thoma

Thoma is always smiling. Whenever you looked at him doing something, he was smiling as if thoroughly enjoying every single thing he intend to do that day. However, there seemed to be something different about that expression of his when he’s around you. It’s softer and so so warm you could not help but turn into a mush when you’re starting to be more and more aware of it. 

“Good work today, Thoma.” You said as you enjoyed a leisure walk with him at the garden of Kamisato Estate. He smiled brightly, the evening sunset would be envious in gazing that shine of his.

“Thoma, how does it feel to be the prettiest man to exist across Teyvat?” You feigned a serious tone at the innocent and light-hearted question. At this, the golden-haired man blushed. “That is.. too much of an exaggeration love, don’t you think?” He put a hand on his side neck, embarassed. The orange hue complimented his face nicely. You leaned closer, resting your head on his shoulder.

Exaggeration? Not at all.

Alhaitham

Alhaitham is certainly not a man with many words. Most of the time he's quiet, his mind would be the one working all day. So when you asked him to stroll around the market to buy something with you he just tagged along, sometimes picking up an object that interest him, didn't really offer any reason as to why that piqued his curiousity.

Although when he does this, you couldn't help but stare. His eyes narrowed slightly, punctuating that lush lashes of his, the corner his lips twitched slightly as if amused. "How pretty," you sighed out, as if running out of contemplation as to how someone so beautiful can exist like this. The compliment broke his focus on an object that looked like an ugly voodoo doll. "This?" He asked, slightly confused. 

"No, you." You stated, like it should've been obvious. Alhaitham put the doll back to its place, the slightest smile emerged from his lips. "Such nonsense." Still with the same soft expression, he brought his hand close to your face, the back of his index finger glided along your cheeks.

Him, pretty? Have you seen yourself? He thought.

Itto

Itto is his best when he's carefree and unrestrained. Not the times where he loses self-control and cause excessive disturbance in public and got himself arrested, mind you. It's more when he's laughing out loud without a care, happiness in its purest form engulfing him. And thank heavens he's not stingy with that since he's always such a ball of joy especially around you. 

"As i thought Itto, you're the prettiest when you're happy." You said at the end of yet another laughter session with him, talking about nothing particularly, just enjoying the other's presence. Itto grinned, "My baby is a smooth talker huh, I can't lose then!" He said energetically then went to kiss your face all over, you laughed at the contacts. Itto stared at you who's still mid-giggle. "And as I thought, I'm the happiest when you’re with me!!!"

#xiao genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin scenarios #genshin fanfic #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #alhaitham x reader #itto x reader #xiao x you #zhongli x you #itto x you #alhaitham x you #thoma x reader #genshin impact thoma #genshin impact