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fuckingguide ¡ 2 minutes
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Everyone else when they’re undercover during a con: *just standing around* *miming the actions of the job they’re supposed to be doing* “What supervisor, there’s a very valid reason I’m not doing my job, I, uh……”
Eliot freaking Spencer: Guys stop the crime for a minute I have to go deliver these pizzas. I have to plate 300 hors-d'œuvres by 7:00. Get out of my way I have to go build a house with my bare hands.
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fuckingguide ¡ 4 hours
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eveeyones got it wrong your mid 20s arent for going to the club or partying or picking up new crafts. your 20s are for discovering how much more autistic you are than you thought you were in high school
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fuckingguide ¡ 4 hours
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fuckingguide ¡ 16 hours
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u ever wake up from a dream like “damn i guess i’m not coping with THAT as well as i thought i was”
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fuckingguide ¡ 22 hours
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personally i think there should have been at least one episode where sokka collects aang and zuko and is like, “looks like we’re running low on supplies.  time for a GUYS-ONLY field trip.  three days of hunting and fishing and polishing our swords.  y’know, manly warrior stuff.  (aang, sotto voce: actually sokka i’m a vegetarian as you know–)  you girls have fun sitting around braiding your hair and talking about your crushes” and then the entire episode is just zuko and sokka lying around by a river, plucking blades of grass and staring up at the stars confiding in each other their deepest feelings and most secret insecurities while aang braids flower crowns, and whenever the screen cuts back to katara and toph and suki, they’re fighting and screaming and hacking away at river pirates and evil spirits and legions of assassins and hired mercenaries with swords.  you know, as girls do.
and when the boys finally drag themselves back to camp (they stayed up way too late discussing what true leadership really means and whether or not power always corrupts)  they find suki and toph and katara lounging around with black eyes and fresh bruises and bloodstained weapons and sokka shrieks, “what were you guys DOING while we were gone???”  and karata just shugs innocently and says in her sweetest voice, “oh, you know.  just girly things”
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fuckingguide ¡ 1 day
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Zuko: There’s something off about her. I can’t explain it but she’s slipping. 
 Azula:
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fuckingguide ¡ 2 days
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damn. david was so right for this.
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fuckingguide ¡ 2 days
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So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward
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what the fuck
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fuckingguide ¡ 3 days
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Anyway here’s a poem I wrote about my cat
After “Do not stand at my grave and weep”, author disputed:
Do not stand at your bowl and meow. I gave you food. It’s in there now. I feed you at the dawning light, I feed you at the fall of night. I feed you kibbles mixed with meat And wet food for a special treat. I feed you even though you scoff At all the food within your trough. I feed you and still yet you yell Like as a beast from deepest hell. Do not stand at your bowl and cry. I gave you food. You will not die.
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fuckingguide ¡ 3 days
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I hate when you're looking for something and folks are like "oh I'm sure it's somewhere." well aye that's sort of the base assumption for most things but cheers. big help
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fuckingguide ¡ 3 days
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weird how nothing about u is like, too small or too dumb to know bc it all comes together to become YOU. sending your friend a picture of your favorite snack is saying something important whether u realize it or not. wheres that palahniuk quote
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fuckingguide ¡ 3 days
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in 2015 I needed a job really bad for reasons not worth getting into. i was living in ohio for like 6 months & i just applied at every place within a 30 minute drive from me and i got a call from the local Game Stop mere minutes after submitting the online app, which was obviously a red flag but I wasn’t in the position to be picky.
so they tell me when to show up for orientation & I get there the day-of but the store is closed & locked. i text the manager & he says back “oh yeah. i manage two Game Stops and open them alternate days.”
apparently the Game Stop I originally applied to is open Mondays Wednesdays Fridays and the other one is open Sundays Tuesdays Thursdays Saturdays.
They’re 15 minutes apart. I don’t ask whether it would make sense to just have one store locally that is open daily, bc maybe the guy knows something I don’t.
So I get to the other Game Stop and walk in and it seems like there’s no one working there. There’s just a single woman in there wearing an ankle length leather trench coat. She didn’t greet me when I came in & she’s just browsing.
After ten minutes I ask her if she’s seen any employees and she’s like “oh I’m an employee.” She’s not wearing a name tag on the trench coat.
I tell her I’m here for training and she tells me the manager hasn’t come in yet. “he falls asleep playing xbox all the time but if he’s on live we can try pinging him to wake him up.”
I play Xbox and that absolutely doesn’t sound like a thing you can do in the way she’s describing it but once again maybe she knows something I don’t.
I ask if we have an Xbox that we can use to “ping” him and she says “yeah the one in the back we play on.”
She has an English accent by the way, a very specific & posh one which usually wouldn’t be relevant but we’ll get there.
So before she leads me to the Xbox-in-the-back she goes “oh damn. our internet has actually been down all morning, I forgot. We need to call the provider and have them come out and fix it. Can you do that?”
Can I call an unnamed internet provider and schedule them to come do service at a business where I don’t even technically work yet? Idk. She gives me their number and I call them and they put me on hold.
People are walking in and she’s not greeting them. She keeps browsing and people assume like I did that she’s another customer so they’re coming up to the counter where I’m on hold to ask me for help, and then I have to say I can’t help them and to ask the woman in the trenchcoat, and then she says “we can’t sell you anything. internet’s down.”
this goes on for 30 minutes and every time the store is empty she’s chatting at me and I’m on hold and then a man walks in the door and he says “sorry I fell asleep on live again haahaahaa” so this is the manager and the minute she starts speaking to him she no longer has an English accent which has me confused because it did not sound fake.
It was regionally specific and very natural.
the manager asks what I’m doing and I say I’m on hold with the internet provider and he gives me a thumbs up and walks to the back.
so I ask how long she’s lived in the U.S. and say I’m always interested in the way people can sometimes go in and out of accents and she says “oh I’m American. he asked me to stop doing the accent so I only do it when he’s not here.”
Suddenly I wonder what I’m doing here and I tell her I need to leave and I give no excuse but at this point I don’t feel like I need one? She said okay! See you later.
The manager didn’t contact me and that night I got offered some other retail job I jumped on.
Three months later the Game Stop manager texts me and asks if I can cover a shift in an hour and I say back “I don’t think I work there? I left an hour into my training. And we never spoke again.” And he texts back “hahahaha right on.”
And you may think wow, what a strange experience that all was but recently I have spoken to friends who did work at Game Stop and when I tell them this story they don’t even blink. Nothing I say surprises them. I was at the average Game Stop
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fuckingguide ¡ 4 days
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fuckingguide ¡ 4 days
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i still think about "aye moira am oan the protein" way too often
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fuckingguide ¡ 4 days
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leverage season 1 plot
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fuckingguide ¡ 4 days
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''Doesn't know what it's like to receive love''
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fuckingguide ¡ 5 days
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I hear the words "bichon frise" and my brain spends an uncountably long moment frantically overturning every memory I have, desperately trying to remember what foreign luxury car brand I have to pretend to care about in order for this conversation to go favorably. After my every mote of knowledge about cars has been thoroughly ransacked and I am on the verge of failing this social interaction, a smudged sticky note flutters into view that simply says "small white dog."
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