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bomberqueen17 · 10 months

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vacation

I'm in Maine with my dude. Our anniversary is around the 4th of July so we kinda try to do stuff around then. This year is 22 years, which marks the point at which it's been more than half of each of our lives. So that's keen. Not to be mushy.

I just saw a thing about celebrating Pickett's Charge Day and it amused me a lot. As an impressionable child I read Michael Shaara's The Killer Angels repeatedly, which is an account of the battle of Gettysburg with alternating points of view from participants on both sides-- it was adapted into a movie but I didn't see that so IDK if it captured any of what I found so poignant in the narrative. (Does the song Kathleen Mavourneen play a big role in the movie? bc it does in the book.) But because of this I knew that it was the 20th Maine Reg't led by Col. Joshua Chamberlain that held the left flank against repeated assaults on that day, so it seems fitting. I looked it up before I posted this, but I did actually know that.

No, I've never been to the battlefield at Gettysburg either, I'm a poor secondhand student of the civil war. My mom wrote a book about it but it's unpublished, she just put it up on the town website. LMK if you want to read it (I'm not linking directly to it because it's on the town website so it's kind of uh doxxy, LOL); it's an extremely dry work, simply recounting the results of her research into the service record, origins, and ultimate fate of every single person she could track down who either served in the regiment our town sent to the war, OR who served in the war and later settled in our town. It was years of research by her including many trips to battlefields. This is my background, is all I'm saying, and the reason why I know the names of like a bunch of the colonels at Gettysburg without checking.

Anyhow. We're not up here for civil war purposes, we're here to sit in a house on a lake and listen to some loons. We went last night and got on a schooner and schooned around Penobscot Bay, which was fantastic; saw the sunset, but not the moonrise, as it was cloudy. It's been mostly rainy here but it stopped raining long enough for that and that's all I care about. If it rains tonight, so much the better, as it'll keep the noise down. Na ha I'm the Grinch of the Fourth of July.

so anyway a couple of photos and some meandery stories behind the cut:

I'm putting the descriptions/captions in the alt, idk how well that works. Ah you can see the lighthouse here-- Camden, ME has a slightly dangerous harbor entry , with two nice wide channels that allow easy entry but a large submerged rock ledge in the middle that at high tide is completely invisible. Every year, our skipper said, some boat forgets about this and runs violently aground. This year's sacrifice was a 50-foot powerboat, and he heard the mayday call as he was on his morning commute. Some lobstermen were in range and managed to haul the boat off the rocks and tow it in to port, but it sank in the launch area-- still, they could easily raise it from there. The passengers were all unharmed, following behind in a dinghy very abashed. A couple weeks later on one of his several-times-daily tours our captain found all the cushions from the wrecked powerboat washed ashore in a nearby cove, and was wondering at the etiquette-- should he collect and return them? He did not reveal whether he had, as conversation moved on.

He was a college kid, raised locally, home for the summers, but in his senior year as a computer engineer up at the U of Maine in one of the campuses about an hour away.

Since it was not very windy we had to use the motor a bit, but we did sail for a goodly while, and in the very light breeze he said "So I'm going to do a controlled jibe here, because the wind is super chill, and if you know a lot about sailing you'll know why I've been taught not to do this move but this is the ideal condition for it. So everybody duck, I'm holding it but the boom is going to move."

A schooner has two masts, so that meant both booms moved. And the mate controlled the forward one admirably, and he the aft, and we were all fine. But as we were coming into the harbor and taking the sails down, the forward boom swung again a little unexpectedly, and the passengers sitting below it had to duck. The mate worriedly asked if everyone was okay, and one woman said "Oh, no, I had a past life regression where I learned I was killed by a sail boom, so I'm really good at ducking!" to which the mate cheerfully, slightly awkwardly, replied "Oh that's great! that! uh! I mean not that you died! But that you didn't this time!" which was extremely gracious of her, especially given that she was about seventeen years old. (She had just been explaining to us that her doctor made her wear glasses full time now because she had gotten her driver's license and he didn't think she should drive without glasses.)

ANYWAY the lighthouse at Camden has been automated since the 1980s, like all US lighthouses, BUT has still had a lighthouse keeper-- a local woman lived there 50 years and raised a family there and only recently at 90 retired as the keeper, and now the assistant harbormaster lives out there. Nobody really needs to be in that lighthouse but it's a point of local pride to have a manned lighthouse.

There are also bell buoys, which I hadn't really noticed as a thing before-- but it's just a buoy with a large bell on it, and the waves' rocking tolls the bell constantly, and it's meant to warn of a hazard. There are several in Camden harbor, because there are a number of very tall rocks that stick up out of the otherwise mostly 180-200ft depth, and some of those rocks are submerged at high tide so you would never see them coming and your onboard depth sensor thing wouldn't catch them in time. (Those rocks, our skipper said, are called The Graves, because of the number of wrecks on them, but they're so steep you can almost touch them from the side of a passing boat; they're used as turning points in some of the tall ship racing that happens locally, and he was aboard one once that turned so tight around one of those rocks and he said he was so terrified the whole time and would never himself sail that close to one.)

It was so calm while we were out there-- Lake Erie is choppier-- but it was sunset, which is when the wind changes direction usually, and the weather here has been heavy rain for days and it was a break in the weather. Anyway that was the Atlantic Ocean, though we weren't really out in it, it was all Penebscot Bay.

Apparently the Olad's original name when commissioned was The Whistle Binkie, which is terrible and hilarious.

OK next slide, good thing I'm only doing two

Good morning, I woke at 5 and noticed the sky was pink and knew it would be fleeting, so I threw my bathrobe on and went out even though I really needed to pee, so I suffered for this art-- I got out a little ways on the dock and listened to a loon calling and took several photos, and then went inside and when I came back out the light had gone, so I'm glad I ran out when I did. Those bridges are narrow though, and I'm not the steadiest when I first wake up, so I was not going all the way out to that last dock. The view is great from that last dock but the great view is to the north, and the pink clouds were to the west, so for this photo, this was the better view anyway.

This is Megunticook Lake.

Today we have no plans; the restaurants downtown were nuts last night, we walked into one place at 4:45 and were told we could be seated around 6:25, so we walked back out and went instead to the Sea Dog brewery, which I had heard of-- I've had their beer somewhere-- but we're thinking tonight will be nuts, so we're going to stay home and eat the stuff we brought for today's lunch instead, and we're going to venture out for lunch today in hopes that it will be less insane.

We'd asked the skipper of the Olad what the 4th of July was going to be like, did he have the day off etc, and he laughed and said no, he works on that day, but it is kiiiind of the worst, because everyone with a boat or access to a boat has to take it out on the 4th of July, and they're all drunk, so he spends most of the day trying to avoid drunk boaters and trying to make sure nobody falls off his boat. (When we'd boarded he'd given us the rules before we pulled out of the berth, and the only actual rule was stay on the boat, and I don't like to think about how emphatic he had to be about that.) I think I mentioned, he was like twenty, and when someone asked him how long he'd been doing this he blithely said "oh this is my first day!" but then admitted it was actually his first season as skipper, but he'd been crewing these kinds of boats for about five years now. Uncommonly among tourist attractions, his job had gotten more busy during the pandemic, because honestly it's an extremely low-risk activity, you could not be any less enclosed, though they had to abide by the same regulations re: mask wearing as airplanes and large commercial ferries, so it was a bit silly-- but absolutely lowest risk of all given that they're wind-operated.

So we know Camden town is going to be insane all day tomorrow, and there's a fireworks display they launch off a boat in the harbor, and we are not going to attempt to go see it! We will hear it from here, and that is fine. We brought our own sparklers, should we be so inclined.

#about the author #maine #vacationing

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szayelapowo · 1 year

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i hate not knowing why im the way i am. like i know im a dog and a dragon but why? am i actually a therian/otherkin or is it my autism and/or psychosis? my therapist keeps talking about how i fit the criteria for schizophrenia but he doesnt want to officially diagnose me with anything because of the symptom overlap with autism. i did used to have a schizotypal pd diagnosis before they knew i was autistic though?

idk. im just starting to really doubt im therian/kin but it feels so impossible to know. ive had dreams about turning into a dragon since i was a toddler and im fairly sure i wasnt traumatized yet back then. but the dog identity definitely feels like a trauma thing and i have been abused my entire life. and ive literally always acted more animalish than human but that could be the autism?? i mean and i dont actually know for sure that something traumatic didnt happen when i was that young. maybe i just dont remember? fuck i hate this i hate not knowing. ive been tying to figure this shit out for over a decade but my brain is too messed up and i cant ever make sense of anything im thinking or feeling

only thing i do know is for whatever reason im not fucking human so dont refer to me as one. im still a person though. because not human ≠ not a person (i keep seeing people using those two things synonymously but theyre not okay)

anyway i want to get officially tested for schizophrenia (or whatever else) just to know but im too afraid of it being used against me if i do have it. because when i cant live with my parents anymore im gonna be put into a group home since i cant take care of myself or live alone and i have no one else i could live with but if i have any kind of schizospec or pd diagnosis they (the people running the group home) could legally abuse me and force me to take drugs which i do NOT want because i physically cannot metabolize them (mthfr gene mutation), its literally an overdose that could easily kill me

so what do i do. i dont want to call myself therian/kin if im not but i obviously dont want to go around saying im psychotic if im not either. i definitely have delusions but that alone doesnt necessarily mean anything...

sorry this post is all over the place im having trouble sorting my thoughts out (thanks unmedicated adhd). i really hope nothing i said is offensive, its not my intention at all if it is i just dont know how to word things.

#i hate this sm i just wanna know wtf is wrong with me #therian #otherkin #alterhumanity #delusions #psychosis #schizophrenia #<- using those tags to see if anyone has a similar experience and can give advice maybe??#not rly expecting anything tho :/#ugh #like this is legitimately so upsetting to me i just want answers :(#i feel so broken honestly #abuse mention

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setsugekka · 9 months

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(omg two of some of my fave writers interacting how cute 🤗)

(cw: me rambling as always)

i’ve noticed a pattern is starting to form of yeosang saying something vile to her only to apologize and make it up to her just to turn around and do it again, his track record isn’t starting to look so good

especially bc how can you apologize after you’ve (more than once) suggested the idea of compromising someone’s birth control? indirectly forcing a baby onto someone, basically breaking the trust that someone had in you? that’s crazy

i always want an instant resolution to complex feelings and don’t know what to do with myself when there isn’t one bc i’m also impatient and hate anticipation

(but anyways 🙃🔫)

i just don’t trust that yeosangs truly dropping it. i feel like he’s making it seem that way so that mc won’t be so suspecting while he’s probably doing some shit behind her back (like tampering with her birth control… which atp i would just carry it around so it’s not within his reach)

threatening to tamper with someone’s body like that and being able to do it so easily and to that persons face, that’s also a hard one to come back from so idk if he thinks that little apology will do anything bc i’d have trust issues at that point

he doesn’t seem to care or realize the fact that he’s threatening the right to her own body and how taxing pregnancy can be on a persons body it’s like “well why don’t YOU have the baby then if you want one so bad?!?!!?” 🔫

suppose things could’ve been more easily fixed if he didn’t have a track record of not being around much but when he does, he just became a dick nugget so idk how to feel about that goings on regarding him

(and the perfect timing of his apology because ofc he would apologize after she just hopped off of someone else 🤠)

and poor seonghwa he’s better than me bc asking someone to lie for you is a lot and the fact that he’s willing (sort of) and you can’t even at the very least tell him what he’s lying about?? esp when he’s not asking for much else?? ouch

then this mf hongjoong

"Suppose I'm my own worst enemy," Hongjoong says, a lazy shrug accompanying the words. "I'm not a psychologist, but a psychologist would probably say that I have self-destructive tendencies."

nothing can get done while he’s around, and he knows this. what a menace (keep going)

my brain is a bit all over the place to come up with theories as to what he’s going to do. or what mc or yeosang, etc is going to do so i’ll just be hiding under the covers taking a peek every once in a while (while i wait to see what yunho finds out)

great chapter as always 💐💐

omg me and @ncteez⁉️ SMILED. we're meeting with good feelings.

yeosang

i don't think much has changed here so i don't think i have to get into it too much, but everything you've said is so valid and correct and right!

it's not an uncommon kind of thing for men either so he is sort of a caricature of A Man From An AITA Post or something where he's like "my wife doesn't want to give me a child even though i'm never home and won't be any help in child care at all and it's likely i won't even be around for the pregnancy all that much but i have money and can pay for lots of things so how is that not good enough?" and it's like...DUDE. how do you even write out this whole thing and not see that you're the huge glaring fuckin problem LDFGJDFKK.

and i hate that i still have mixed feelings on what she did with hongjoong. idk if it’s bc of this morality thing i have (like “oh he apologized so things are complicated now”) bc things just can’t be fixed with a an apology and some tears but i’m also not cruel enough to think “yeah she shouldn’t feel bad for sleeping with hongjoong” i always want an instant resolution to complex feelings and don’t know what to do with myself when there isn’t one bc i’m also impatient and hate anticipation

to be fair, that's sort of precisely where i want you guys to be! 😈

i think the thing with the first paragraph you wrote, and reconciling those feelings, is sort of accepting the fact that two things can exist at the same time. it can be that things are complicated because yeosang is remorseful about his actions and also she should feel bad for betraying him in such a way. someone could also make a case for the fact that she shouldn't really feel all that bad about it and it still being complicated because of the first point. they're not mutually exclusive! that's what's fun about writing morally dubious stories such as these ones though :)))) makes you guys think :)))))

you know an instant resolution wouldn't make for a fun story, i don't have to tell you that, but i get the desire for wishing there was just a button to press that magically aligns everything the way it needs to be aligned in order to fix all of the problems. unfortunately, in this case, the problems are incredibly complex, so what would that button even look like outside of...yeosang un-saying that stuff and the mc un-fucking hongjoong? 🤨

yeah, good catch. i think one of the worst things she's doing is dragging seonghwa into it a bit unbeknownst to him just because she knows that he'll be there for her in her time of need. she's taking advantage of him and his kindness knowing he wouldn't appreciate the spot he has been put into were he to ever find out.

so, will he find out, then? 🫣

then this mf hongjoong

yes but he is very sexy and this is one of my favorite iterations of him that i've written JKFHGKHFDK. it's like...concept of obsessive, service top who fucks like a pornstar but on proverbial steroids. nice.

thank you as always luv you're the lovliest of all time and i'm glad you're having fun with it. i don't remember what happens in ch7 but i'm sure it's very insane and i'm excited to get back into the doc soon and find out (probably when you come asking for spoilers 🙄 hehe)

#☕️ ask #fic: atarashii

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paleclementine · 6 months

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genuinely have no idea where I left off last time. Me and my dad did our trip to southern Utah to see the eclipse. There's so much to say about that whole weekend, but Ive been too exhausted to say anything about it other than a few bits and pieces, even Anthony, which truly does mean something. even if I'm actively angry and upset, I'll rant about my family to Anthony, but when I finally saw him, I was too exhausted to do anything but tell him how tiring it was and slip a single tear down my cheek.

I know i'll look back on this trip and likely be mad at myself for being so... conflicted/upset/on the verge of a mental breakdown throughout the whole thing, but it wasn't rose tinted. The trip was fun and good and me and my dad got along, but it was always good with a hint of waiting for the other shoe to drop. In a very tangible way. My dad talked to me a lot and was very morose-- about mom, hailey, caleb, his knee, life, death, god, religion, Mormonism. Every. Single. Thing. that I was afraid he would talk about? he talked about. I grinned and bore it, but Christ fucking fuck man, it's so hard. I think people give families too much credit-- they're fucking hard to deal with, or maybe mine is. I always feel weird when people value their families so much and get along with them and choose them over other things, because I just don't feel at at all-- nevermind the fact that I do choose them over other things because I am an easily manipulated forest animal.

I don't have enough energy to go through the play by play. I was with Anthony at Amy's house on Thursday and Monday. it was really nice thursday- me and Anthony got pho and went to the mall for a while. On Monday, I crashed there at 4:30 am and slept until 10. Me Anthony and Amy got burritos and went to Costco and got ice cream after that. It was really fun, me and Amy actually talked normally and I don't really know what compelled me to not feel like I wasn't collapsing in on myself with insecurity when I was around her. It has nothing to do with Amy, just that I'm intimidated by her. She's like an older, more mature version of Hailey.

I finally finsihed the new chapter of my fic (achilles come down) and posted it. I have motivation to work on it/finish it again, but I really coudln't say why. I just want it to have a ton of reads and get famous. I'm aiming for BARE MINIMUM 3,000, hoping for 14,000, and praying that I get over 50,000 hits. that would fr be a dream.

I have been listening to Folie a Deux a shit ton. It's such an underrated album. I've also been listening to Evermore a shit ton. IDk. I'm not feeling very -fall aesthetic the smiths autumn leaves the Sundays etc etc etc-. I just want to listen to what I like, and what I like rn is Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy, Evanescence, and Mother Mother. Maybe I'm becoming emo again.

I'm skipping class rn bc I was late and I didn't want to go anyway,, and just-- god I cannot listen to people get a boner over how they're totally not racist/misogynistic (the class is all white people and women other than 2 boys). i just caaaaaan't. everything hurts.

I keep saying "I want to go home," in my head, but I really just think I want to not be so fucking stressed out. School is unbearable. I literally cannot keep up with my own shit even though I'm only taking 4 classes. It's just so goddamn hard. I'm entirely unmotivated. All I want to do is hang out with Anthony or write 1000 words at a time. Christ. I'm such a hermit. I have no idea how I turned out to be this way. Writing is such an isolating hobby (and writing fanfiction even more so, because there's a layer of exclusivity and cringe to it that I'm over in myself but not when it comes to sharing with other people).

I also just... don't want to see my fucking rommates. I think they're annoying and fuck and pick me's and bitches. and self fucking centered. They're just so deep in their own shit they can't see anyone else around them. I'm going to see Jimena again and she's going to be like "omg girl where have you been what the fuck is wrong with you?" OROR OR she's going to completely ignore my presence like she did when I left this weekend. she just-- fucking pisses me off.

I'm just not in a good fucking mood lately. I might be depressed. I don't even feel motivated to go into the canyon anymore.

#livejournal

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planetdream · 2 years

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— eight lee know hard thoughts

this post contains; smut ! harddom!minho supremacy. spit kink. pain kink/slapping. degradation. anal play.

💌 i had most of this written in early october but never finished it… also haven’t posted in a while rip. physically had to stop myself from writing more while editing. anyways :) hope u guys like it ! let me know your thoughts !!! <3

i. minho has the filthiest mouth. tells you how he’s gonna split you open and fill you to the brim with his cum. telling you to take every fucking inch of him like a good little bitch. reminding you how wet you are around him and how good your pussy is for sucking him in like this.

“maybe you should be ashamed,” minho grunted. he was so deep inside you that you swear you could feel him in your chest. “letting me fuck you anyway i please. maybe that’s why you like being degraded so much”

in contrast, loves when you mouth off to him. telling him to “make you” do something or even something a bit harsher like “make me cum. that’s all you’re good for” bc i feel that minho wouldn’t mind receiving some type of degradation.

ii. with that being said, i believe he loves brats. being able to break them, and mold them into a good little sub. he loves the fight for dominance within the dynamic. of course he’s the dominant one—the big man in charge. but at heart he knows his bratty baby truly has the upper hand, that’s why he gives you what you want so easily.

still, he likes good little subs bc at heart, he’s very nurturing and always wants to take care of you. plus, there’s not much better than seeing his pretty little sub covered in their own cum, crying from overstimulation and thanking him for making them cum.

iii. likes making you do all the work. that look on your face when your getting tired of bouncing on his cock, but he feels so good that you gotta keep going till you cum around him. and when you ride him, he wants you in a squat position with your feet planted on whatever surface he’s laying on. telling you “good sluts ride dick like this. so if you don’t cum in five minutes, you’re not cuming at all”

iv. he has a slight pain kink. really enjoys hair pulling; both giving and receiving. the sharp sting that starts from his scalp, pulses throughout his body. it energizes him. loves to spank you and occasionally gives your cunt quick, harsh taps. wouldn’t necessarily hesitate to give you a quick slap on the cheek if you were into it.

v. loves fucking your mouth. but most importantly, loves that you love having him in your mouth. likes the feeling of cockwarming, but when he’s pulsing inside of your throat. the two of you just chill like that sometimes. likes when you take pictures or videos of yourself with his cock in your mouth and send them to him (wouldn’t be against taking polaroid photos when you fuck).

vi. loves eating your pussy. loves touching your pussy. sometimes he just wants to come home, spread your legs wide and devour you precious cunt, making you cum back to back, all on his tongue (and he usually fulfills this inner desire). fingering your cunt as his tongue or thumb works wonders on your clit.

vii. idk i just think he likes anal/analplay. for one, wouldn’t mind if your dipped your head lower when you lick and suck on his balls. and two, trains you to take him in your ass. working his cock in and out of you in slow thrusts, while his fingers work around your clit.

alternatively, when you can take him in your ass, he makes you fuck a dildo inside your cunt. if you slow down or stop fucking yourself he won’t let you cum :(

viii. above all, minho just wants to see you absolutely wrecked for him. your eye makeup running down your face, spit and cum making a mess on your body. seeing faint marks on your body from him claiming you. that haze clouding your mind because you’re comfortable enough around him to let yourself go.

and he can take care of you. feed you, rub on you, kiss you. whatever it is you want him to do. he’ll help you wash up and rub lotion on your feet and legs. no matter how harsh he may have been, he’ll be as softer and cuddlier as ever after 🥰

#☁️ — daydreams #☁️ — daydream.skz #stray kids headcanons #stray kids smut #stray kids scenarios #stray kids hard thoughts #lee know headcanons #lee know x reader #lee know smut #lee know scenarios #lee minho smut #minho smut

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feanorianethicsdepartment · 3 years

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Alright, I read your recent post and need to know - what is your interpretation of Maglor’s relationship with the twins?

askjdhslkjag my biggest self-inflicted problem in this fandom is that my take on maglor, elrond, and elros' relationship is so intensely detailed and specific i am forever tormented by none of the fic i read ever quite getting it right (from my perspective; i’ve read plenty of fic that presents a good interpretation on their own terms, it’s just never mine.) it’s simultaneously way darker than the fluffy kidnap dads stuff and nowhere near as black-and-white awful as the anti-fëanorian crowd likes to paint it, it’s messy and complicated and surrounded by darkness, and yet there’s also a sincere connection within it which mostly serves to make all those complications worse. angry teenage elrond is angry for a great many reasons, and the circumstances around him being raised by kinslayers account for at least half of them. there’s lots of complexity here, and i don’t see it in fic nearly as often as i’d like

(warning: the post... feathers? i already have an internet friend called faeiri this could be awkward - anyway, the post she’s talking about includes the line ‘everyone is wrong about kidnap dads except me.’ this post follows on from that in being as much a commentary about why various popular interpretations of both how the kidnapdoption went and the way people subsequently characterise the twins just don’t work for me as it is a setting out of my own ideas. i’m not really interested in getting into discourse here, i’m just trying to get my thoughts down. i’ve read fic with these interpretations before that i’ve liked, even, don’t take this as a Condemnation, aight? also this turned out long as hell, so i’m putting it under a cut)

i can never buy entirely fluffy depictions of kidnap dads

which isn’t to say i don’t read them! sometimes all i want is something sweet, for these kids to get to be happy for once. it’s not like i think their time with the fëanorians was completely devoid of laughter

it’s just. the pet names, the special days out, the home-cooked meals, it can get so treacly it stops feeling like the characters they are in the situation they’re in and turns into Generic Found Family #272

it soaks out all the complexity - which is the thing i am here for - and acts like oh, these kids were never in any danger, they were perfectly happy being abducted by the people who murdered everyone they knew, there’s nothing possibly questionable about this relationship at all

and... yeah. that’s not the characters i know. that’s not the context i know they belong to

i just can’t forget the circumstances that led them to meet

rivers of blood, the air filled with screams, a town ablaze, a woman choosing to die. every interaction the three of them have is going to proceed from that nightmare

(sidenote: i tend to hold it was maglor that raised the twins, with maedhros looming ominously in the background not really getting involved. it’s mostly personal preference, i’ve been in and out of the fandom since before this kidnap dads thing blew up and when i joined that was a perfectly standard reading)

(also the cave thing was a dumb idea, old man, if only because it implies beleriand had streams safe enough for children to play in at that point. the way it separates the twins from the third kinslaying is also something i don’t particularly vibe with)

probably my least favourite angle i’ve seen on the situation (edged out only by ‘maglor was actively abusive towards the twins’ which no no no no no no no no NO) is the idea that maglor (and/or maedhros, append as necessary) took the twins specifically to raise them

like, i get where it’s coming from, but it makes maglor come off as really creepy

(i have read fics where it is indeed played off as really creepy, but that’s not a maglor i have any interest in reading about)

(’mags 100% bad’ is just as facile a take to me as ‘mags 100% good’)

even if you’re saying maglor took them in because they had no one left to take care of them - i highly doubt they were the only children the fëanorians orphaned at sirion. idk, it always makes maglor seem much less sympathetic than i think it’s meant to

i prefer to think of it as more... organic? something that evolved, not something that was preordained. them growing closer gradually, the twins finding an adult who might maybe be on their side, maglor becoming invested in them almost by accident

and then the twins are so comfortable with the second scariest monster in amon ereb they frequently sass him off and maglor’s gotten so used to not hurting them he’s not even thinking about it any more. no one’s quite sure how it happened, but they’ve made a Connection

‘wait aren’t they a murderous warlord of questionable mental stability and a pair of terrified small children who’ve lost everyone they ever knew? isn’t that kinda fucked up?’ yup! that’s the point! complexity!

another idea i don’t like is the idea that maglor was an objectively better parent to the twins than eärendil or elwing

other people have talked about this already, i won’t rehash the whole thing. i will say that while i don’t think elwing was a perfect parent - someone so young, in such a horrible situation, i wouldn’t blame her for screwing up - i do think she (and eärendil) did the best by them they possibly could

this is one of the few things they have in common with maglor

something i come across now and again is the idea that sure, elwing and eärendil weren’t abusive or horrible or anything, but they were a couple of basically-teenagers with so many other responsibilities, there was only so much they could do. maglor, on the other hand, is an experienced adult who could take much better care of the twins

and...

first off, it’s not like mags doesn’t have a job. he’s a warlord, he has a fortress to help run, military shit to handle, lots of other stuff that needs to get done to stop everyone from starving or getting eaten by orcs. i feel like sirion had enough of a government there was plenty of opportunity for elwing to take days off and play with her kids, but in the fëanorian camp nobody really has the time to chase after a couple of toddlers, least of all one of the last points on the command network. they just don’t have the people any more

(seriously, the twins getting a formal education with tutors and classes and shit is a weirdly specific pet peeve of mine. this is a band of renegades, not a royal household; if there’s anyone left with those kinds of skills they almost certainly have more important things to do)

more than that, though - well, a quick glance through my late stage fëanorians tag should tell you a lot about what i think maglor’s mental state is like at this point. he is so accustomed to violence death means nothing to him, he’s lost most of his capacity for genuinely positive emotion to an endless century of defeat and despair, he hates everything in the universe, especially himself, he’s only able to keep functioning through a truly astounding amount of denial, and he covers it all up with a layer of snark and feigned apathy, which he defends aggressively because he’s subconsciously realised that if it breaks he’ll have absolutely nothing left

(maedhros, for the record, is... i’d say more stable, but at a lower point. maglor may interact with the world mostly through cold stares and mocking laughter, but at least his mind is firmly rooted in the present)

(on the other hand, at least maedhros lets himself be aware of what they are and where their road will lead)

which... this doesn’t mean maglor doesn’t try to be kind to the twins, or rein in his worst impulses around them

there’s just so little of him left but the weapon

he stalks through the halls like a portent of death and gets into hours-long screaming matches with maedhros and has definitely killed people in front of the twins

not even as, like, a deliberate attempt to scare them, but because when you solve most of your problems by stabbing them it’s pretty much a given that people who spend a lot of time around you are going to see you do it at least once

and sometimes, he curls up in an empty hallway, and weeps

... suffice it to say i don’t think elwing’s the more preoccupied, or the less mentally ill, parent here

just. in general, the fëanorians aren’t cackling boogeymen, but they’re not particularly nice either

no one has the energy left for that. not these isolated and weary soldiers at the end of a long losing war and the beginning of the end of the world. they don’t really bother to guard the kids against them escaping. where else are they going to go?

the sheer despair that must have been in the fëanorian camp after sirion, the knowledge that the cause cannot be fulfilled, that they are utterly forsaken, that they’re really just waiting to die -

it can’t have been a happy place to grow up in, under the shadow of loss and grief and deeds unrepentable, and the slow march of inevitable defeat

they would have had a better childhood if they stayed in sirion, raised by people who knew how to hope

but that isn’t the childhood they had. and despite everything i’ve said, i don’t think that childhood was an entirely awful one

yeah, see, this is where the other side of my self-inflicted fandom catch-22 comes in. just as much of the pro-kidnap dads stuff comes off as overly saccharine and simplified to me, i find much of the anti-kidnap dads stuff equally simplistic in the opposite direction

the idea that maglor and the fëanorians never meant anything to elros and elrond, that they had no effect on the people they became at all, that it was just a horrible thing that happened when they were children, easily thrown in the rear-view mirror...

that’s even more impossible to me than the idea that life with the fëanorians was 100% fluffy and nice

like, i’ve seen the take that elros and elrond hated the fëanorians from start to finish. they were perfect little sindarin princes, loyal to their people and the memory of doriath, spurning every scrap of kindness offered to them and knowing just what to say to twist the knife into the kinslayers’ wounds

... dude. they were six. hell, given their peredhelness, mentally they could easily have been younger

what six year old has a firm grasp of their ethnic identity? what six year old is fully aware of their place in history? what six year old would understand the politics that led to their situation?

don’t get me wrong, i can see hatred in there. but something else that doesn’t get acknowledged alongside it often enough is the fear

some of the stuff i’ve read feels like it gives the kids too much power in the situation. they’re perfectly happy to talk back to and belittle the people who burned down their hometown and killed everyone they ever knew, like miniature adults who don’t feel threatened at all

and, like, six. i can see them going for insults as a defensive measure, but it is defensive. it’s covering up fear, not coming from secure disdain

(and a lot of those insults sound, again, like things an adult who’s already familiar with the fëanorians would say, not a scared child who’s lost almost everything. why would a six year old raised by sindar and gondolindrim know what the noldolantë is, let alone what it means to maglor?)

(... i’m just ranting about this one fic that’s been ruffling my feathers for five years straight now, aren’t i)

i mean, i write elrond as the world’s angriest teenager, who snipes at maglor pretty much constantly, but the thing about angry teenage elrond is that he’s angry teenage elrond

he’s spent long enough with the fëanorians he has a pretty secure position within the camp, and he knows that maglor won’t hurt him from a decade and change of maglor not, in fact, hurting him

but as a small and terrified child abducted by the monsters his mother had nightmares about? he fluctuated wildly between ‘randomly guessing at things to say that wouldn’t get him killed’ ‘screaming at maglor to go away in words rarely more complicated than that’ 'desperately trying not to do or say anything in the hopes of not being noticed’ and ‘hiding’

(and i don’t think the twins were never in any danger from the fëanorians, either. quite besides the point that before they started orbiting maglor nobody was really sure what to do with them... well, they wouldn’t be the first children of thingol’s line the minions took revenge on)

(fortunately for them, maglor did, in fact, take them under his wing. by this point even their own followers are shit scared of the last two sons of fëanor, nobody’s going to mess with their stuff and risk getting mauled. tactically, it was a pretty good decision for a couple of toddlers)

more to the point, i feel like a child that young, in a situation that horrible, wouldn’t reject any kindness they were offered, any soothing touch in a universe of terror

in a world full of big scary monsters, the best way to survive is to get the biggest scariest monster possible to protect you. that’s how elros rationalises it when they’re, like, eight, mentally, but at the time they were just latching on to the only person around them who seemed to care about them

that’s how it started, on their end. two very young very scared children lost in a neverending nightmare clinging tightly to the lone outstretched pair of hands

as for maglor...

i’ve called mags evil before, but i see that as more of a... technical term? he is evil because he did the murder, he remains evil because he won’t stop doing the murder. hot take: murder bad

but that doesn’t make him, like, a moustache-twirling saturday morning cartoon villain. he is deeply unhappy with the position he’s in and the person he’s become, and he’s always trying not to take that final step over the edge

it’s not that i can’t see a maglor who is abusive or manipulative or who sees the twins more as objects than people. it’s just that that characterisation is one i am profoundly uninterested in. i do occasionally read fic with it, but it never enters my own headcanons

horrible people can do good things!! kinslayers can do good things!! the fallen are capable of humanity!! people can do both good and evil things at the same time, because people are complicated!! maglor is not psychologically incapable of actually taking pity on these kids!!!!

it’s... again, complexity. the fëanorians straddle the line between black and white, which is a lot less sharp in the legendarium than it’s sometimes characterised as. it’s what draws me to their characters so much, why i have so many stupid headcanons about them. pretending they fall firmly on either side of the line is my real fandom pet peeve

and, like, this moment? this sincere connection between a bloodstained warlord and two children who will grow up to be great and kind in equal measure? i may not entirely like the direction the fandom’s taken it recently, but that beat, that relationship, it still gets me

so no, i don’t think elrond and elros’ years with the fëanorians were an endless cavalcade of abuse and misery. i think there was love there, despite the darkness all around them

an old, tired monster, and the two tiny children it protects

maglor never hurts the twins, not ever, not once. his claws are sharp and his fangs are keen, if he so much as swatted them he’d rip them in half. instead he folds down the razor edges of his being, interacting with them ever so carefully. he has nightmares of suddenly tearing into their skin

seriously, the power differential between them is so great, maglor so much as raising his voice would break any trust they have in this horribly dangerous creature. fics where he does corporal punishment always get the side-eye from me

the mood of their relationship is... i find it hard to put into words. melancholy, maybe, like a sunny afternoon a few days before the end of the world. three people who’ve lost so much finding what respite they can in each other as the world slowly crumbles around them

there are times when it feels like the three of them exist in a world of their own, marked out by the edges of the firelight. maglor telling stories of the stars, elros giving relaxed irreverent commentary, elrond getting a few moments to just be, all their troubles kept at bay

they are the last two lights in a world sunk into darkness, the last two living beings he does not on some level hate. he will tear his own heart out before he sees them in pain

he teaches them to ride, he teaches them to read, he gives them everything he still has left. the twins should never have been in this situation, maglor probably isn’t entirely fit to take care of them, but it is what it is, and they take what love they can

(maglor depends on the twins emotionally a bit more than any adult should rely on any child. he’s still very much the caretaker in their relationship, but that relationship is the only one he has left that’s not stained by a century of rage and grief. he’s obsessed with them, maedhros tells him frequently. maglor’s standard response to this is to try to gouge maedhros’ eyes out)

(that particular darker side to their relationship, where maglor’s attachment to the twins turns into a desperate possessiveness - that’s not something i think i’ve ever seen in fic. which is a shame, it feels much closer to my own characterisation than the standard ways this relationship gets maleficised. darker, in a different way than usual. horribly compelling in its plausibility)

however you want to read it, i don’t think you can deny this is a relationship that defines elrond and elros’ childhood. they were raised in the woods by a pack of kinslayers, the text is quite clear on this

but i’ve seen a lot of talk about how elros and elrond are only sirion’s children. they are completely 100% sindarin, they love and forgive eärendil and elwing thoroughly and without question, they identify with doriath over - even gondolin, let alone tirion. the fëanorians - the people who raised them - had zero effect on the people they grew into and the selves they created

and that, more than anything else, i find utterly unbelievable

look, i get what this is a reaction to. a lot of the kidnap dads stuff paints the fëanorians as elrond and elros’ ‘real’ family, and i’ve already talked about what i think of the idea that maglor-and-possibly-also-maedhros were better parents than eärendil and elwing. i think it’s reductive and overly optimistic and just a little too neat

but to say instead that elrond and elros held no great love in their hearts for maglor, no lingering affinity with the fëanorians, no influence on their identity from the people they grew up around, none at all? that after it happened they just left it behind and resumed being the same people they were in sirion?

that strikes me as just as much an oversimplification. it sands down all the potential rough edges of their identity, all that inconvenient complexity that stops them from fitting into any well-defined box, and replaces it with a nice safe simple self-conception i find just as flat and boring as declaring them 100% fëanorian

we can quibble over who they call ‘father’ (i personally find that whole debate kinda petty) but denying that it was actually maglor who was the closest thing they knew to a parent for most of their childhoods, and that that would, in fact, affect the way they thought of themselves and their family, elides so many interesting possibilities out of existence

(i’m not even going to get into the most braindead take i have ever heard on the subject, namely that because their time with the fëanorians was such a small fraction of elrond’s total lifespan it was like being kidnapped for two weeks as a toddler and had no greater significance than that. do you not understand what childhood is????)

like, i tend to think of elrond as a child as being very loudly not-a-fëanorian. elros is more willing to go with the flow - hey, if the creepy kinslayer wants kids, elros is happy to play into that in order to not be murdered - but elrond is very firm that he’s not happy to be here and he doesn’t belong with them

(this is after they get over their initial terror, of course, when they’ve realised they won’t be fed to the orcs for the tiniest slight. even so, elrond only really gets shirty about it around people he’s comfortable with, whose reactions he can reasonably guess at. naturally, the first person he does it to is maglor)

elros calls maglor their father exactly once, when they’re... maybe early preteens? this is because elrond hears him do it and immediately loses his shit. they have a dad, elrond says, in tears, and a mum, and any day now their real parents are going to come to pick them up and take them home

... right?

it gets harder to believe as the years roll on, as their memories of sirion fade, as they find their own places within the host, as maglor watches over them as they grow. elrond still mentally sets himself apart from the fëanorians, but it’s more of an effort every year. life in the fëanorian camp is the only one he’s ever really known. he can barely remember his mother’s voice

then the war of wrath starts, and the fëanorian host drifts closer to the army of valinor, and the twins come into contact with non-fëanorians for the first time in forever, and it becomes clear just how obviously fëanorian elrond is. he always insisted he wasn’t like the kinslayers at all, but he dresses like them, talks like them, fights like them

the myth cycles the edain tell are almost completely unfamiliar to him, he barely remembers the shape of the songs of lost doriath. even these sarcastic commentary and subversive reinterpretations he made of maglor’s stories - those were still maglor’s stories! he’s been trying to guess at the person he was meant to be, but it’s growing nightmarishly blatant how little elrond ever knew about him

instead, the people he was born to are as alien to him as the orcs of morgoth. he is a fëanorian, through and through

... yeah, elrond (and/or elros) having an absolutely massive identity crisis upon being reintroduced to his quote-unquote ‘true kin’ is another angle i’d love to see in fic that i don’t think i’ve ever come across. all those potential grey areas around who they are and who they’re supposed to be sound utterly fascinating, and i think it’s the complexity i hate to see elided over the most

i really, really doubt they could effortlessly slot back into being eärendil and elwing’s children. not when they’ve been surrounded by, lived alongside, been raised by the people who were supposed to enemies for most of their lives

they just don’t fit into that box any more. they can’t

speaking of eärendil and elwing, while i do agree that they both (especially elwing) get a lot more flak than they deserve, i don’t agree that therefore elrond and elros were never the slightest bit mad at them and fully forgave them for everything with no reservations

because, well, they were left behind. elwing had no other choice, but they were still left behind; it led to the world being saved, but they were still left behind. all the best intentions in the universe don’t erase the weeks and months and years of waiting, of a hope that grew thinner and frailer until it finally quietly broke

that’s a real hurt, and a real grievance. even if the twins rationally understand that their parents were making the best out of their terrible situation, you can’t logic away emotions like that. it’s perfectly possible for them to know they have no reason to resent eärendil or elwing, and yet still harbour that bitterness and pain

(i did write a thing once where elrond loudly rejects eärendil as his father in favour of maglor, but something i didn’t add in that i probably should have is that elrond later regretted doing that)

(not like, several centuries later, when he’d grown old and wise. two hours later, when he’d calmed down. but he was still legitimately angry at eärendil, because the one thing angry teenage elrond was not lacking in was reasons to be mad at the adults around him, and before he could figure out if he had anything less furious to say the hosts of the valar left middle-earth behind)

(it’s another element to the tragedy of the whole thing. in that particular story, which is mostly aiming for maximum pain, the only thing elrond’s birth parents know about their son for thousands of years is that he hates them)

(and he doesn’t, not really. you can’t hate someone you’ve never known)

not that i think they couldn’t ever make up with their parents! fics where elrond and his birth parents work past all the things that lie between them and form a functional familial bond despite it all give me life. i just don’t like the idea that there’s nothing difficult for them to work past

i don’t like the idea that elrond and elros would naturally, effortlessly identify with the mother they last saw when they were six and the people they only vaguely remember. i can see them doing it as a political move, i can see them going for it as a deliberate personal choice, but i can’t seeing it being immediate and automatic and easy

no matter how great a pair of heroes eärendil and elwing are, that doesn’t change the fact that to elrond and elros, they’re at most a few scattered memories and a collection of far-off stories. and so long as the twins stay in middle-earth, they’re never going to draw any closer

compared to the dynamic, multifaceted, personal, and deep bonds they have with the fëanorians - who, and i know i keep saying this but i think it gets tossed aside way more casually than it should, are the people who actually raised them, their birth parents must feel like a distant idea

and that’s why i can never buy interpretations of elrond as 100% sindarin, a pure son of doriath, with no messy grey areas or awkward jagged edges to his identity. given everything we know about his life, it seems almost cartoonishly simplistic

honestly it seems like a narrative a bunch of old doriathrin nobles trying to manouevre elrond into being high king of the sindar or something would propagate. it's neat and nice and tidy, something that’d be much more convenient for everyone if elrond did feel that way

but i just don’t see how he can. this narrative is easy and simple in a way real people never are, it ignores all the forces pulling him apart. elrond being uncomplicatedly sindarin with the life he lives and the people he's close to - that doesn’t make any sense to me

which isn’t to say i think he’s 100% noldorin, from either a gondolindrim or a fëanorian perspective. (i find it a little more believable, given, again, who he grew up around and who he hangs out with, but it’s still a bit too reductive for my tastes.) it’s also not to say i couldn’t believe an elrond who made an active choice to emphasise his sindarin heritage

it’s not how i think of him, but it works. i don’t have a problem with other people interpreting the complexities of the twins’ identities differently

i just have a problem with people acting like it doesn’t exist

in general i think there’s a lot untapped potential that gets left behind when you declare the twins, separately or together, as All One Thing

they’re descended from half the noble houses of beleriand, and they have deep personal ties to most of the rest. they belong to all of the free peoples even the dwarves, somehow, probably and i feel like that was kind of the old man’s point? so many peoples meet in them, to say they wholly belong to any one species is probably an oversimplification

they sit at a crossroads of potential identities, and rather than narrowing down their worldviews to one single path, they take the hard road and choose all of them. that’s what you need to do, if you want to change the world

and, to bring this back to my ostensible topic, in my estimation at least this mélange of possible selves does include them as fëanorians! it’s not overpowering, but it’s certainly there, and the adults they grow into long after they’ve left the host still bear influence from their childhood

nothing super obvious, nothing that wouldn’t stand out if you didn’t know what to look for, but there’s something almost incandescent in how fiercely elros reaches out for his dreams

there’s something almost defiant in elrond’s drive to be as kind as summer

as for who they publically claim as their family... honestly, it depends. while it’s usually more tactically prudent for elros to connect himself to his various human ancestors, on occasion he does find a use for his free in with the elf mafia, and elrond, code switcher par excellence, is famously the son of whoever is most politically convenient at the moment, which is rarely, but not never, maglor

(in the privacy of their own minds, well, eärendil and elwing may have been the parents elros was supposed to have, but maglor was the parent he actually had, and elros doesn’t particularly care to mope over what might have been. elrond, for his part, figures that after all the shit maglor has put him through, the least that bastard owes him is a father)

but honestly? i think before any of their mountain of identities, before thinking of themselves as sindarin or gondolindel or hadorian or haladin or fëanorian or anything, elrond and elros identify as themselves

they are peredhil, they are númenóreans, they are whoever they make themselves to be. that’s how elrond finally resolved his identity, figured out who he was and found something past the pain and the rage

he wasn’t doriathrin, or gondolindrin, or falathrin, or fëanorian, or whatever else. he was elrond, no more and no less

and that person, elrond, could be whatever he chose to be

... elros came to a similar conclusion, with much less sturm und drang that he’s willing to admit. being able to go ‘hey, i can’t possibly be biased towards any one of your cultures, because i’m descended from all of you and i was raised by murderelves’ makes it a lot easier to unite people around your personal banner, turns out

the stories other people tried to force on them shattered into pieces, and the peredhel twins were free to shape themselves into anything they could dream of

and as the new world struggles alive, these lost children of an Age of death begin to bloom into their full glorious selves -

i just. i love the poetry of that. despite every single shadow that hangs over their past, despite all the clashing notes pulling them apart, they harmonise it all into a greater, kinder theme, determined to make their world a better place in whatever way they can

they fail, of course, but so do all things. the inevitable march of entropy doesn’t diminish the long millennia they (and their descendants) held onto the light

and their growing up in the fëanorian host definitely had a huge effect on the noble lords they became. you can see it in elros’ loud ambition to create a land of happiness and hope, elrond’s quiet resolve to heal all the hurts inflicted by this marred reality

it wasn’t a perfect time by any means, but neither was it a nightmare. it was what it was, a desperate existence at the edge of a knife where, nevertheless, they were loved

even after years upon decades upon centuries have passed, it’s hard for the wise king and the honourable sage to separate out and identify all the conflicting emotions swirling around their childhood. they never knew eärendil or elwing, true, but they also never really knew maglor

not as equals, not as adults, not as people who could truly understand him. he disappeared into the fog of history, leaving only childhood memories of razor-sharp, gentle hands

it’s messy and it’s complicated and getting any real closure would be like shoving their way through a thornbush with bare hands even if elrond could find the shithead, and yet at the core of it all, there is light. not the brightest of lights, maybe, but an enduring one

that contrast, above all, that note of warmth amidst the shadows, is what fascinates me so much about their relationship. three screwed up people in a screwed up world, finding a little peace with each other

and the fact that somehow, it does have a good ending - the children grow up magnificent and compassionate and just, they become exemplars of all their peoples, lodestars of the new world born out of the ashes of the old - that makes it seem to me like this relationship must have contained some fragment of happiness

but, fuck, all the darkness that surrounds that love, all the tangled-up emotions its existence necessitates, all the prefabricated self-identities it can never slot into - nothing about it is simple, nothing about it is easy, and i find that utterly enthralling. especially how, despite everything, that flickering light never goes out

well, i don’t think it does, anyway. my take on this relationship is both complicated enough no one else ever quite gets it right and well-defined enough every single ‘error’ in other people’s interpretations sticks out like a kinslayer in rivendell

it is an entirely self-inflicted problem, i will admit. other people are allowed to interpret those complexities differently from me, and it’s entirely my own fault i lack the :waves hands around nebulously: to write my own hypothetical fic on the subject at a pace faster than glacial

still, though. i do wish there was more fic out there that engaged with these complexities. a lot of the common fandom interpretations of this relationship just sweep it all away

#ask #my terrible headcanons #elros #elrond #maglor #elwing #earendil #feanorians #niphredilien #yellow feathered faerie #putting your old url in the tags for archival purposes #post nyanyannya askbox clearout #ironically it turned out almost as long as the songfic that clogged up my askbox in the first place #and it is DONE #fuck this took forever to write #stayed up late just to get it out the door so i don't have to think about it any more #this is a long ramble and i'm pretty sure the end is just me repeating myself ad nausem sorry #i'll admit to a certain pro-feanorian bias in my interpretation #but i also don't want elros and elrond to just. live in a neverending horrorshow for decades #the silm's cruel enough we don't need that #narratively i feel like elrond being All Of The Elves is a good mirror for elros being All Of The Humans #but it didn't really fit the angle i was going for #bleck #let's see how many followers i lose for this

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procrastinatingsapphictrash · 3 years

Text

Already dating

Word count: 1618

Genre: Probably fluff, idk really

Pairing: Natasha x gn!reader

Warnings: None (let me know if I need to add any)

Request: could you maybe write something with Natasha x male reader (if your comfortable, otherwise you can write it with female or gender neutral) where Natasha blushes when the reader compliments her in front of the team and the team immediately goes crazy and does everything in their power to get them together, only to find out they've been dating all along?

Summary: Steve and Tony (mostly Tony) lock you in an elevator to admit your feelings, not knowing you’re already together.

A/n: Thanks @mochamoff for the request, sorry it took so long to do it! I’m writing this authors note over a week before I’m posting the fic which is unusual because usually I post within twenty four hours of finishing. Anyways it feels nice to be on a break and this fic being posted means I’m officially back which I’m excited for. To be honest this fic isn’t the whole team, just Tony and Steve, but I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out so I hope you all enjoy reading!

“Next time you have to listen to me in the field Stark.” Steve says as soon as everyone is settled into their place on the jet.

“Actually I don’t, you have absolutely no power over me and as much as you want to be the leader of this team you are not so stop acting like it.” Tony snaps back.

“Someone has to step up and lead.” Steve tells him. “It’s not like you could do any better, you would probably mess things up.”

“Maybe I would, but I would do a hell of a lot better than you are doing.” Tony says. “You like to pretend you’re all high and good and above us but who made you leader? Nobody. You crave control so you took it.”

“I did what needed to be done.”

You watch them snap back and forth at one another a few more times, rolling your eyes at Natasha. She gives you a small smile to show that she’s amused and turns her attention back to your two teammates whose argument has only gotten more and more heated.

“Y/n what do you think?” Tony asks, catching you off guard.

“About what?”

“About who would be a better leader for the team.” he explains. You think for a moment and they both stand as tall as possible (in Tony’s case it isn’t tall at all) and puff out their chests. You scoff, the male ego is so big, even in men who are good and try to do the right thing.

“Neither.” you decide.

“Neither- but the team needs a leader, you have to pick someone.” Tony splutters.

“Just because I don’t think the best leader is either of you doesn’t mean I don’t think the team needs a leader.” you tell him. How one of the smartest people in the world can’t figure that out for himself is beyond you.

“So who would you choose then?” Steve asks, confused.

“Natasha obviously.” you say, smiling at her. The corners of her mouth tug up slightly and even that small movement makes you feel proud.

“No offense, but Natasha???” Tony asks, seemingly outraged. “Why?”

“Well first of all she doesn’t have a fragile male ego like you dumbasses.” you tell them. “But it’s more than just that. She’s smart, both book smart and street smart. She can hack into computers and memorize information easily and knows how to blend in, or to get people to like her. She is more rational than the both of you combined but is also good at making decisions on the fly. She is an excellent fighter and can keep track of strategies and she has connections in and out of the government, with backup plans for almost every situation. Not to mention she has an amazing heart and don’t argue like some other people on our team tend to do. And of course she’s absolutely gorgeous but that doesn’t have anything to do with it.”

You wink at her at the end of your mini speech and are surprised to find her cheeks noticeably pink. She can’t help the smile that creeps onto her face when she thinks over your words.

“Abort mission, Romanoff is blushing and smiling, I think I might be about to die.” Tony states obnoxiously.

“Shut up, you’re just annoyed that she likes me better than you.” Natasha tells him, taking a breath to (mostly) collect herself.

“You’re scary when you’re happy. I haven’t seen you like that before.” he says. “Are you in love with Y/n or something?”

“Shut up.”

Tony smirks. “Make me.”

Natasha takes one threatening step towards him and that’s all it takes for him to back away, stuttering out apologies and mumbling under his breath about how Natasha is too scary to be a team leader. Natasha’s scare tactics do seem to work though because he doesn’t speak to anybody but himself for the rest of the ride home.

As soon as the jet touches down you and Natasha exit, heading straight to the room where you are supposed to be debriefed. Steve tries to follow but Tony grabs his arm to let him know to hold back a second.

“I know I joke but I honestly think they’re in love with each other.” Tony tells him. “I didn’t see it before today but there’s no way Y/n’s speech was platonic, who memorizes lists of reasons why they like their friends, not to mention their flirty wink at the end. And then Natasha, she’s scary but she was acting weird and happy around Y/n.”

“I hate to say this but I agree with you and they would make a cute couple.” Steve says. “But we should probably catch up now.”

Tony takes Steve’s words as an opportunity to stop being serious and become obnoxious again. “Onward dear captain, lead the way fearsome leader, how ever could I-”

“Tony I’m trying to be polite but you are making it very hard.”

---

“Tony no.”

“Tony yes.”

“That is a horrible idea.”

Tony opens his mouth in outrage. “I think it’s a pretty good idea actually.”

“I won’t work.” Steve counters.

“Well I think it well and need I’m the only genius here.” he says smugly.

“You can’t force love!” Steve tells Tony, running his hand through his hair in frustration.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Tony says, “I’m not forcing love, they are already in love. All I’m doing is giving them a little push.”

“By locking them in an elevator?” Steve asks in a deadpan voice.

“Exactly.”

“You can’t just go around locking people-” Steve starts to say but he gets cut off by Tony.

“Shhhhhhh, hi Y/n, hi Natasha.”

“Hi guys, what are you up to?” you ask, obvious to what was going on seconds before you entered the room. Natasha eyes them suspiciously because they are acting weird, holding their bodies stiffly, which means they are hiding something.

“We were just about to head down to the training room, want to come?” Tony lies smoothly while Steve shakes his head in the background.

“That sounds good,” you reply, “you want Tasha?”

“Okay.” she agrees, still eyeing both of them, Tony in particular suspiciously.

“Great!” Tony says and starts to walk towards the elevator and the rest of you follow him, Steve trying to convince himself that going along with Tony’s plan is doing no harm.

“Ladies first.” he says, stepping off to the side and giving a big flourish with his arm. It’s weird but then again Tony is always weird so you don’t think too much of it, stepping into the elevator. As soon as Natasha follows you in he orders Jarvis to close and lock the doors and to prevent the elevator from moving and then pulling up a screen so he can watch you.

“You better run when I get out of here!” Natasha yells. “You too Steve!”

“You’re going to thank me later.” Tony says. “Steve, why don’t you explain why we locked them in.”

“Um,” Steve hesitates, not knowing where to start, “well we think that you two need to talk about, um, feelings.”

“Feelings?” you ask, confused, while realization dawns over Natasha’s face.

“Um, yeah feelings.” Steve responds, feeling very awkward and hoping this works so he didn’t do all that for nothing.

“They don’t know we’re dating and they’re trying to get us together.” Natasha leans over and whispers in your ear before straightening back up and talking to Tony again. “I didn’t take you for such a romantic Stark.”

“What? I’m not- romantic me? Pepper says I’m the least romantic guy she’s ever been with.” he splutters, trying to regain his masculinity.

“And that is not a compliment.” you tell him. “But for some reason even though ‘you aren’t romantic’ you wanted to get us together.”

“Maybe I did,” he says. “but you have to admit that my plan is amazing and it's totally working.”

Natasha snorts “What part of this conversation screams working to you?”

“Well you haven’t killed Y/n yet and neither of you have denied your feelings so it’s obviously working. I expect a thank you speech dedicated to me at your wedding.” He says arrogantly.

“There will be no speech.” Natasha tells him.

“But there will be a wedding?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and Steve has to look away because it looks ridiculous.

“Hopefully.” you say, teasing Tony with your vagueness but also making Natasha smile as she thinks about what that might be like.

“Told you my plan would work.” Tony brags to Steve before telling Jarvis to release you from the elevator.

“Your plan sucked.” Natasha tells him. “We were already dating dumbasses.”

She grabs your hand and pulls you out of the room as Steve and Tony stare after you, shocked.

“Did you know about this?” Tony asks, looking at Steve with suspicion.

“Not at all.” Steve answers, his mouth still half open. In hindsight it should have been obvious. Of course Natasha wouldn’t want to be open about her dating life right away, she likes her secrets way too much.

---

“You owe me fifty bucks Y/n.” Natasha tells you once you’re out of earshot.

“Seriously?” you whine.

“You said they already knew but they didn't, so pay up.” She holds her hand outwards expectantly and you both laugh.

“Later.” you tell her. “There are more important things to do now.”

“Hmm, like what?” she teases gently, taking a step closer to you. Your breath catches because you still can’t believe you are dating someone this beautiful. You match her halfway and pull her into a deep kiss, only pulling back when you need to breath.

“This.”

---

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#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel fanfiction

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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 308: VIBE: CHECKED

Previously on BnHA: Lots and lots of Shindou idk what else to tell you.

Today on BnHA: Tired Nomad Deku rescues Shindou from Muscular, and us from Shindou. Muscular is all “OH BOY I SURE CAN’T WAIT TO FIGHT DEKU AGAIN AFTER HE TOTALLY KICKED MY ASS THE LAST TIME!! I’M SURE THIS TIME WILL GO DIFFERENTLY SEEING AS HE’S HAD ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR’S WORTH OF ADDITIONAL TRAINING, AND ALSO HAS SIX FOURQUIRKS NOW, IN ADDITION TO THE CONFIDENCE THAT COMES WITH HAVING EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE’S SOULS CHILLING OUT INSIDE HIM OFFERING MORAL SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT.” Deku is all, “[kicks Muscular’s ass effortlessly].” Muscular is all, “[gets his ass totally kicked].” I for one am very satisfied with this, and with respect to all, I would like to hereby declare this post a discourse-free zone. I’m just happy to see my son out here making good use of his FOURQUIRKS, and more importantly beating Muscular in less than seventeen pages so we can all go on with our lives lol.

damn Deku since when were you allowed to look this cool

from this perspective and with the smoke, cape, backpack, and mask more or less obscuring his actual profile, he looks less like a sixteen-year-old boy and more like a grownass man

OH SNAP

we got a glimpse of this in the cleaned-up scan of 307, but seeing both of his eyes looking so distinctively All Might-esque here is... whoa. I mean we know that his face still looks pretty normal underneath the mask and he doesn’t actually have the black sclera, but still, this is an awesome look. mini-Might

lol Muscular

you and me both. I mean no offense, but yeah

so Deku is just standing there silently

typical Deku. tight-lipped and expressionless. mum’s the word. quiet as a mouse. silent as a grave

okay no but seriously this is so weird and creepy though you guys. Deku please say something or else I’m just gonna mindlessly say whatever stupid things come into my head in an effort to make things less awkward

so Muscular is all “I should probably make a cool speech about revenge but Horikoshi couldn’t think of anything good so I’m just going to stand here clenching my fist real slowly”

“I’m not here to go on a monologue” he says, as he monologues about not monologuing

okay you guys I confess I have only read through/watched the Deku VS Muscular fight once because the arm-breaking is just way too uncomfortable for me to revisit. and so as a result, I have completely forgotten Whatever The Deal Is with Muscular’s eye lmao so let me go look it up real quick

okay so it’s a prosthetic, obviously, and he changes it out according to his mood. that part does sound familiar. I just can’t remember which eye is supposed to indicate which mood. don’t tell me I actually have to go back and reread this shit

lol I’m skimming through chapter 75 now and remembering/realizing that I hardly paid any attention to this the first time around because as soon as I found out the villains were after Kacchan my brain was like “TIME TO FOCUS ON THIS AND ONLY THIS NOW AND FOREVER” and yeah. ah memories

anyway so he started out with the flower-looking eye, and then later on he was all

which begs the question, how on earth could I have ever forgotten the most ridiculous panel I’ve ever read lmao

anyway, but so after all of that, I'm only just now realizing that this isn't one of his previous eye prosthetics in the current chapter; this is an ACTUAL FUCKING ROCK that he's just randomly shoved into his eye socket fkdsjlk

so basically (1) I did all of that painstaking research for nothing, five whole minutes of my life wasted THANKS A LOT, and (2) what, and I have never meant this more emphatically, THE FUCK

anyway so now he's leaping at the building that Deku is standing on top of. but he’s not aiming anywhere near Deku though, wtf

(ETA: HAHA YOU BROKE ALL YOUR MUSCLES YOU LOSER.)

...huh

lmao okay then. I hope those annoying citizens in the building next door are watching this go down and rethinking their life choices

dlkdkljk

just keep standing there pressed right up against the window, why don’t you. “WHAT’S GOING ON THIS SUPER CLOSE COLLAPSING BUILDING IS BLOCKING OUR VIEW.” well, folks, we’ve long since known there’s a critical shortage of hero and villain brain cells, but what we’re learning now is that civilian brain cells are also in short supply

OH THANK GOD DEKU IS FINALLY TALKING THAT WAS ACTUALLY UNSETTLING AS FUCK

SO HE’S STILL OUR GOOD, POLITE, WORRIED, CONSIDERATE DEKU UNDERNEATH THAT COOL AND MYSTERIOUS VENEER. for real, thank fuck, because I swear to god if he suddenly started acting like the Dekus in all of the vigilante AUs my interest in this series would have dropped something like 50% lol. just because he dropped out of school and ran away from home and is currently dressed like the physical manifestation of a Linkin Park playlist doesn’t mean he’s not still the WORLD’S BIGGEST DORK okay

I MEAN, THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. HE’S APOLOGIZING FOR THE DELAY

PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED SHINDOU YOU REQUESTED. BEST REGARDS!!!

OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SUCH A BADASS

something about making bold, confident statements while obscured in smoke?? idk but damn it fucking works

ffjkkl

more importantly, should you tell him you actually need your copy of Shindou in excel format and not pdf?? on the one hand you don’t want to sound ungrateful, but on the other hand what are you even supposed to do with this

this chapter so far consists of like 50% smoke, but on the other hand Deku VS Kacchan 2 had a lot of cinematic smoke too so who am I to complain

OMG IS IT HIS ARMS

IDK DID YOU?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS. PLEASE, AT SOME POINT THIS FIGHT HAS GOT TO ACTUALLY ADVANCE THE PLOT

OHHHHHHH

IT’S EN’S QUIRK!! OH MY GOD OKAY THAT’S ACTUALLY AWESOME

I CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF DISCOURSE RUMBLING IN THE BACKGROUND BUT I DON’T CARE LOL. WON’T CATCH ME EVER SAYING NO TO ANOTHER SIXQUIRK. GO AHEAD, BRING THEM ON, I WANT TO SEE THEM ALL but take it easy though Deku. don’t want to give yourself lung cancer or anything

also it’s good to see that in a very real sense he’s not fighting alone. the Vestiges really did mean it when they said they could appear more easily now. this is on a whole other level

so is this whole next page still En talking, or someone else? because whoever it is sure is chatty

okay, several things

pretty sure it is En, because he keeps saying “I suppose.” for someone who never said two words until one page ago, this guy sure never shuts up. we can’t all follow Muscular’s lead I suppose. oh my god now I’m doing it too

really like the suggestion of Deku using the SIXQUIRKS like tools in an arsenal, because that’s what he’s good at! it’s almost like he’s been training for this his entire life. “you value quirks too much” LOOK HE JUST THINKS THEY’RE COOL OKAY IS THAT A CRIME

where the fuck did all this rope come from

not gonna ask what the fuck that thing is sticking out from the back of his utility belt. Horikoshi will surely explain this

is that a fucking jetpack. I’m sorry Deku were six fucking quirks not enough for you. you can fucking float??? but JUST TO BE SAFE, LET’S STRAP A PAIR OF ROCKETS TO OUR SHOULDERS IDK

-- or wait, is this all supposed to be like a visual representation of En’s metaphor?? OH MY GOD AM I JUST STUPID LOL, DON’T ANSWER THAT. NEVER MIND. NEW LIST!!

rope = blackwhip

jetpack = float

radio = danger sense

and so I’m guessing that this ridiculously phallic thing is supposed to be a flare or something?? and that = the new quirk, smokescreen. well that was a fucking ride lmao we now return you to our regularly scheduled chapter

so now Deku is floating to his heart’s content and thinking that he’ll just sneak up on Muscular and vibe check his ass or whatever

WOOOOOOOO DANGER SENSE YESSSS I LOVE THIS FOR HIM

okay guys, I'm gonna press pause here for a sec to make a serious note, because I am loving the shit out of this, but tbh I'm having trouble enjoying it as much as I want to because I keep getting anxious thinking about the discourse. I know that a lot of the fandom has very strong opinions on Deku's character development one way or the other, and I want to respect that. but I also really have no spoons to debate this topic at all beyond what I’ve already weighed in on. so if it’s all the same to everyone, I plan on staying out of this discussion, at least this week

anyway! that said, YEAH BOI GET HIS ASS

VIBE: CHECKED. CURB: STOMPED. HOTEL: TRIVAGO

-- OF COURSE HE’S STILL FUCKING FINE LOL HE CRASHES INTO BUILDINGS FOR FUN IDK WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

dammit Muscular. how many fucking quirks does it take to beat you?! the annoying thing is that even with all of his cool new powers, Deku is still something of a mismatch against him. anyway r.i.p. to all these poor buildings

OOOOOHHHHH

you guys have no idea how intrigued I am at the prospect of watching Deku try to play both good cop and bad cop here lmao

anyway so Muscular says he doesn’t know, go figure

“I’m not here to make small talk or anything” he says as he small talks about not small talking

OH MY GOD DEKU

are you really gonna talk no jutsu all of these villains from now on?? that last battle really did have a profound impact on you, huh! interesting

you guys he’s really doing it omg

Deku this guy tried to murder a five-year-old literally just for fun. I mean more power to you, but holy shit you’re really gonna try to defeat Muscular with anger management therapy huh

I MEAN

WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT RESPONSE COMING dlkjslkjk

FUCK’S SAKE DEKU, I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL BUT THEY CAN’T ALL HAVE TRAGIC PASTS KIDDO

but. I have to admit, I do still like that he tried. probably knew just as well as we did what the end result was going to be, but still. he made the effort in good faith and I respect that

uh oh

why do I get the feeling Muscular just got a whole lot deader

oh my god oh my god he’s doing the “powering up” stance ffff don’t fucking tell me you can still use your fucking arms here, Deku

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT’S THIS??

okay so basically he’s saying that whatever it was he sensed in Tomura, he doesn’t sense from Muscular. which, yeah, that sounds exactly right. good judge of character here lol

AHHHHAHAHA YESS

WHOOPS, GET FUCKED I GUESS

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO

lmao so apparently this is the belated result of Shindou’s attack from chapter 307?? I’ll be damned. good for you Shindou!! I always liked you buddy. please just take my word on that and don’t fact check that statement

okay lol the one tiny bit of discourse I will allow is that it’s bullshit that he just did that with his right arm. like, I’ll fully acknowledge that. that makes no fucking sense, and I demand an explanation from the Great Plot Hole Filler himself. he’s never let us down before when it comes to continuity so I’m trusting him not to suddenly start now

that said, we love to see a rematch against a boring guy settled quickly and decisively within the span of a single chapter. THANK YOU

I like that Deku implies that his power is being a smart nerd who battles villains using the power of ANALYTICS. he basically didn’t do anything except restrain Muscular and wait for Shindou’s attack to take effect while halfheartedly checking to see if he regretted any of that murder and stuff

(ETA: and almost forgot to mention, he made excellent use of all four of his active SIXQUIRKS. it’s like the chapter title said; this is basically him fighting all-out, and it’s a sight to see.)

also, as cool as the mask was, this just feels right. like, we had our fun, now let us see his face, yes good

anyway, I think this was a good start towards establishing What’s Up With Deku Right Now! so if it’s all the same to Horikoshi, I would next like to take some time to explore Why’s Up With Deku. that, and What’s Up With Everyone Else, Especially Kacchan. por favor

#bnha 308 #midoriya izuku #muscular (bnha)#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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harryspet · 4 years

Text

wrapped in red | p.parker & b.barnes

[Warnings] dark? peter parker x reader, dark bucky barnes x reader, peter is still pretty sweet and bucky is evil, aged up peter, mafia/gang au, gang boss!bucky, waitress!reader, noncon/dubcon sex, light bondage, kidnapping, bucky likes to watch

A/N: idk its 7 am and I still haven’t slept and now I’m posting this. THIS IS ADULT & TRIGGERING CONTENT READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

In which Peter likes you and Bucky makes you both regret that.

main masterlist

word count: 2.9k

“Can I get you anything else, sir?” You asked the blue-eyed man sitting at table eighteen. Your coworker had an emergency call so you found yourself tasked with tending to the table of two men. You didn’t recognize the man at first but as your eyes connected with his left arm … your breathing hitched in your throat. You smiled through your worry though, trying not to be too obvious about the fact that you knew exactly who he was.

Bucky Barnes ran this neighborhood, but since you had never run into him, it was easy to believe he was just a myth.

“No, doll. Just the check please,” He spoke simply and you might not have been intimidated if you hadn’t noted the many expensive rings on his right hand. The man sitting across from him was younger, his eyes were nervous too as he looked you over. His face was familiar and you thought you might have seen him in one of your classes.

There were several empty beers on the table as well

You nodded your head before turning away, “I’ll be right back.”

Peter’s eyes lingered on you as you walked away from the table. For a moment, he forgot that he was supposed to be counting. His pen roamed over the sheet and over all the numbers.

“See, you’re only making a hundred grand from this guy's shipments. He’s using all your resources to make sure the product is clean but you could easily just do that for yourself. You cut out in the middle man and I think you could triple your profit,” Peter turned the paper so Bucky could look over all the numbers he was running. Peter folded his hands, trying to read the man’s expressions.

As you returned to the table with the check, Peter was once again caught in the trance you put in. He recognized you from his anatomy class. He arrived at class five minutes early every day just to make sure that he could watch you come in. Part of him was unsure of what you’d think of him now, knowing who he was sitting with.

Money didn’t grow on trees and Peter was the man of the house. College was expensive and the rent was even more expensive so he had to do what he could to get by. You were working minimum wage at a rundown restaurant, Peter didn’t doubt that you could understand that. Still, what you did was honest work and Peter couldn’t say the same for himself.

“Thank you, doll,” Bucky thanked you, resting his arms against the table as he smirked up at you, “You doing something tonight? What time do you get off?”

Your lips parted as you stared in shock. Could you just answer a simple no? “I actually have to close up today … so I … uhm-”

“I-It’s okay,” Peter rushed out nervously, seeing the way that Bucky was eyeing you, “That’s it, thank you.”

Your smile was thin and awkward before you walked away.

Peter’s eyes widened with frustration as he stared across the table at the older man, “What are you doing?” Bucky chuckled as he grabbed the check, clicking his pin in order to sign it. Peter didn’t know it but the man was leaving you a hefty tip, “Were you trying to scare her?”

“I was trying to get you a date!” Bucky retorted, “Your good with numbers, kid, and I appreciate you helping me out. I really do but your game with women is a little laughable.”

Peter shook his head in disbelief, “Why does it matter?” Peter lowered his voice as the realization set in that Bucky was right, “Why does it matter what kind of game I have? I’m just here to count your money, right?”

The look in Bucky’s eyes was almost sympathetic, “You count money for now but you’re strong, I can tell. You could become a very valuable person to me if you work at it. And part of being in my little family is having some fucking confidence. You were drooling over that girl instead of manning up and asking her out.”

Peter crossed his arms, “What if she said no?”

Bucky smirked at the younger boy, “She wouldn’t if you had some fucking balls,” Peter rolled his eyes, “But if she did said no … then you chase her. That’s the best part.”

There was something evil in the man's glare but Peter brushed it out. The man was a professional, drug dealing murderer. “You want to ask her to prom or something?”

Peter shook his head, annoyed, “I’m not in high school, Mr. Barnes. I just like her, okay? And it doesn’t matter that I like her because it’s not like we can date. I’m sure we both have bigger things to focus on. Now ... can we go back to talking about the deal that’s going on tomorrow?”

Bucky seemed amused by the kid’s awkwardness, “I like your idea. I hate that Brock guy anyways. He’s overcharging me because I used to mess with his sister. You know … maybe if he’s out of the picture then his sister is free territory.”

“Out of the picture how?” Bucky sensed Peter’s worry and grinned.

“That’s right, you’ve never been on one of my infamous boat rides. You should come,” Peter knew exactly what he meant. If Bucky didn’t like you, you did not want to go on a “boat ride” with him. That was a quick and easy way for your body to end up chained to a brick at the bottom of the Hudson.

“I have a biology project to work on,” Peter said.

“It wasn’t a question, Queens.”

Your heart skipped a beat as a black Escalade pulled up beside you while you were walking home. You didn’t look over as you heard the window roll down. You winced as you continued to walk. You only turned to look as you heard a whistle.

You thought he’d give up after the weird encounter at the restaurant but here he was in all his handsome and dangerous glory, “You need a ride, doll?”

“Uhm, no. But thank you!”

What was it with kids your age? Perhaps Bucky was losing some of his edginess with the younger crowd, “Get in,” Bucky said, much more forward this time, “I just want to talk.”

You took a deep breath as you clutched your purse tightly. You found your feet moving before your mind could catch up. Your body thought you’d be safer going with him rather than arguing with the famous criminal. You heard the rumors about people that went missing because they pissed him off. Every time they seemed to arrest him, he was back on the streets weeks later. The cops, ones who he didn’t pay off, could never pin him to any of the murders.

If you went missing because of Bucky Barnes, you and your legacy were effectively wiped away.

He opened the back door for you and you climbed into the leather seat as he slid over. Shaking, you grabbed your seat belt and buckled yourself in. Bucky was used to the lack of eye contact and shaky fingers. It usually annoyed him but, for you, he found it endearing.

As the door closed, the man in the front seat drove off, “What exactly do you want to talk to me about?” You asked, still confused about the entire situation.

“My friend that sat at the table with me. Peter Parker,” Bucky spoke vaguely.

“We don’t really know each other,” You explained, hoping that guy wasn’t somehow in trouble with Bucky, “We just go to the same college.”

“No, I know,” Bucky continued, “I just know that he’s interested in getting to know you better. And Peter’s a good friend of mine, you know?”

You nodded slowly. That meant Peter was dangerous, “Right. He’s … he’s never talked to me.”

Bucky chuckled, “He’s the shy type. You’re a pretty girl, he probably doesn’t think he’s good enough. That’s why I’m here talking to you.”

“What do you want me to do?” You asked hesitantly.

“That’s a good response,” Bucky gave you a smug look, “You’ll find out soon, doll. Sit tight.”

Your eyes widened as you looked out the tinted window, watching your apartment building pass by. Bucky’s driver gazed at you through the rearview mirror before focusing back on the road.

Peter thought he wouldn’t be able to stomach. Watching a grown man cry and beg for his life before being tossed over the edge. You watched him sink and the bubbles slowly start to disappear as he went deeper, “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Bucky had said to him.

Peter hated to say that it wasn’t as bad as he believed it would be. Perhaps the years of struggling had blackened his heart. After the murder, Bucky proceeded to drag you back to his million-dollar apartment, wanting to share a drink or to.

Peter almost opened his mouth to say that he wasn’t twenty-one yet but knew the exact reaction he would get from Bucky. Bucky had his arm wrapped around Peter’s shoulder as he showed him to the kitchen, “One day, you’re going to have a place just like this,” He said, hinting at your luxurious surroundings, “You stick with me and you won’t need that piece of shit degree.”

Peter only nodded, accepting a beer from the man. Bucky watched as the boy chugged the content of his glass. Peter hoped it would get him through the rest of the night and help give him some liquid courage, “You’re a weird kid, Queens,” Bucky laughed, “I like it. C’mere, I want to show you something.”

You followed Bucky down the hallway, hoping it wasn’t another disturbing thing that the man found amusing, “What is it?”

“A present,” Bucky grinned, guiding Peter to the door at the end of the hallway. Peter would’ve preferred to be wowed by a million other things. Instead, his mouth was agape because he saw you.

Whatever drugs he had given you to keep you relaxed had completely worn off. It kept you from fighting them when your clothes were cut off from your body. Your vision was blurry and your muscles were weak as they restrained your body. Now, clear as day you could see your captor … and his friend Peter.

You were laid out on the bed, your hands handcuffed behind your back and your ankles tied together by a red ribbon. A red thong barely covered your lower region and a red ribbon wrapped around your front barely covered your nipples. Right in the middle of your chest was a red bow to compliment the red ball gag in your mouth.

Peter flashed Bucky a mortified look. Bucky only sipped at his glass of beer, “Happy fucking birthday, kid,” Bucky beamed, “Aren’t you going to say thank you?”

It wasn’t Peter’s birthday and he was definitely not feeling thankful. Peter watched as you struggled in your bondage, frightened tears staining your cheeks. “What the hell are you doing?” Peter asked, his teeth gritted in anger, “I-I didn’t ask you to do this.”

“What?” Bucky sounded offended, “It’s creative! Think of it as a welcoming gift. I know you want to fuck her so here’s your chance. Fuck her and get rid of her-”

Get rid of you?

Bucky was interrupted by a muffled scream which only caused him to roll his eyes, “Or fuck her and keep her, I don’t care.”

“No, no, I’m letting her go-” Before Peter could take a step forward, Bucky’s metal arm gripped his shoulder.

You felt relieved only for a moment. Bucky stepped in front of him, “I’ll fuck her then, no point in letting the opportunity go to waste.”

Peter’s heart stopped, “Mr. Barnes, please.”

“You do it or I will,” Bucky said firmly, “You’re smart and I want to keep you around but if you can’t … take a few fun risks then maybe you’re not the type of person that should work for me.” Bucky’s words settled over him. Peter thought about losing this opportunity and all the money that would come along with it. Looking into your teary eyes, Peter thought about how rough Bucky would be with you. Maybe he could explain that … Peter mentally cursed.

Peter didn’t answer verbally, only pushed past Bucky, walking towards the bed. Peter felt a sudden rush of adrenaline as he stalked towards the bed, “That’s my boy,” Bucky spoke excitedly. He moved towards a lounge chair in the corner of the room, still taking swigs of his drink, “There’s no point in asking. If you want it, take it. Now put on a good show for your dear boss.”

Peter knew there was no going back now. He reached out to touch your arm, only to have you flinch away from his touch. Peter had imagined touching you for the first time and it was nothing like this. Peter turned that sadness to anger in order to fuel his adrenaline.

Peter undid the ribbon around your ankles first. As soon as they were free, you were struggling against him. Peter was much stronger than you assumed and held you in place easily. Next, he moved to your gag, “Pl-Please don’t hurt me,” You begged, your voice hoarse.

You saw something in his eyes similar to regret. Regret for the inevitable. As you shook your head, he said, “I won’t. Just … just don’t struggle,” He tried to assure you but as he moved your body over the edge of the bed, parting your legs and settling between them, you panicked again.

“Peter, please don’t.” He perked up at the sound of his name on your lips and you thought for a moment that you had gotten to him. He paused for a moment, only for a moment, before lifting his shirt above his head. He leaned his body over yours, his mouth brushing over your ear.

“Trust me, you don’t want him touching you. Just relax,” A shiver ran down your spine and you turned your head. Your scared eyes connected with Bucky’s and he smirked. It seemed the two of you were his sick entertainment for tonight. Your breathing was heavy but you tried to keep your muscles calm.

You tried to convince yourself that Peter was the better option. He was your age and he didn’t have that evil look in his eyes. You hated that you preferred him. You hated that you were preferring this.

Peter placed soft kisses along your collarbone and up the side of your neck. It baffled you that you got the feeling that he wanted to be gentle with you. You were ready to jump out of your skin when you felt your panties being moved to the side but you were interrupted by Peter’s lips crashing onto yours.

Soon, you felt him at your entrance, teasing your opening. You gasped against his lips as he slowly sheathed himself inside of you. You wanted him away but you still found that your legs wrapped around him for support.

Peter moved his lips against yours and you felt his own body shudder as your warmness wrapped around his length. He started to move in and out of you and it took you time to get used to the invading feeling. As Peter kissed your tear-stained cheeks, you bit down on your bottom lip. His pace quickened and wished desperately that your hands weren’t handcuffed behind you.

“Y/N,” He grunted into your ear as he made long, deep strokes inside of you, “Fuck, I’m sorry… y-you feel so good.”

As he pushed deep inside of you, your head tilted back and a frustrated moan escaped from your throat. You hated that he was making you feel good too. You felt his hand running up your thigh and then it was between your leg, slowly rubbing that sensitive bulb between your legs. That was enough to have you moving your hips against him.

Bucky watched intently, the blood rushing to that area between his legs. He’d keep you in mind when he was deep inside Brock’s sister.

“Ah, ah,” Peter kissed you, swallowing your moans as you both climaxed together.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Peter was supposed to finally gather the courage to ask for your number towards the end of the semester. You were supposed to text back and forth for a few weeks and then go on a few dates. You were supposed to fall for each other the natural way.

Bucky had stolen all that.

As Peter pulled up his pants, zipping them up, Bucky stood from his chair, “That was moving. Very romantic,” By his tone, Peter could tell the man was hoping for something for brutal. Peter scowled at his boss, “I knew deep down you were a ladies man-”

Peter interrupted, venom in his tone, “What do you want me to do now?”

Bucky only chuckled, “Nothing like some emotional trauma to toughen someone up,” He patted Peter’s shoulder as he made his way to the door, “Why don’t you buy her dinner and then take her home? You can take my car.”

“That’s fucking it? After all that?”

Bucky turned his head as his hand grabbed a hold of the doorknob, “She knows what’ll happen if she runs to the cops. Welcome to the team, Parker.”

hope you enjoyed!!

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1994sunflower · 3 years

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Hi lovely 💕 I absolutely love your heaven to you series I was wondering if you could write something where you and Mikey and going at it and idk maybe ash or cal walk in on you and Mickey doesn’t stop so there just standing there watching him raw you idk maybe you can make it better than I said lol xx

merry christmas eve everyone! i wanted to post this early today so you would have plenty of time to read it without it interfering with your holiday plans. i hope you all love this as much as i loved making it & consider this my present from me to you.

in which ashton walks in on you

In hindsight, maybe sending Michael those dirty pictures wasn’t the best idea. Especially riling him up when he was in class when you knew he already didn’t pay attention. But, no matter how happy you were that he did what you asked and went anyway, you never really considered just how frustrating it was to be alone when all your classes had already finished.

Especially how frustrating it was when you were alone and horny. You couldn’t even waste the time by studying because your mind would always stray to him, his intimidating size, his cold eyes, his mocking smirk, his cock, the way he would pound you so roughly and perfectly that had you seeing stars and hugging onto him just right. You needed that right then. You wanted to be under him, letting him do whatever he wanted. You wanted him to satisfy you.

God, what had he done to you?

You weren’t exactly sure what got you so tense but all you knew was that you were aching for him. Really though, you blamed how long it had been. School had been so hectic and both of you had so been busy that you haven’t had sex in weeks. Which was honestly a feat for both of you, considering how often you went at it. It wasn’t for the lack of Michael trying either but you were always quick to shut him down and focus on studying, making him do the same. Now though, you were the one that was insatiable.

Even without him there, as you posed in those unquestionably suggestive poses (one on your knees, the other on all fours - ass sticking out behind you, the last with your legs spread), you could practically feel your panties sticking to your wetness.

You needed him.

And after sending them, you had giggled in his empty home. You’d been there since that morning before he left for class and you were excited just how much easier it would be for him to get straight to you after class. However, that excitement turned to eagerness when his reply came through. Always a man of few words, his message still rang loud and clear if the butterflies in your stomach were anything to go by.

mikey

i’m gonna fucking stuff you full when i get home

It was exactly what you wanted. You whimpered to yourself as you read and re-read his filthy words. You ground your pulsing clothed pussy against his bed, hating that you barely felt anything at all if the feeling didn’t come from him. You couldn’t even get yourself off without feeling your need for him grow even larger.

You were in the kitchen when you heard the key rattle of the doorknob. It was mischief that kept you in your place instead of going to meet him like you wanted to, like you’d been anticipating all hour.

So when the cup of water in your hands was suddenly snatched away roughly, you couldn’t help the naughty smile at the expected reaction you brought out in him, even if you were turned away from him and couldn’t see his exact expression. But still, you whined as if in objection and lifted yourself on your tip-toes, reaching up to get your drink back.

And you were finally face to face with Michael. A very frustrated Michael if his blown out pupils and tense jaw was anything to go by. But it wasn’t so surprising to you that his expression only served to have you aching more for him.

He held your cup above both of you, his height allowing it to be out of your grasp even on your tip toes, even when you tried to jump a bit for it back. And if he hadn’t known better, maybe Michael would have mistaken your whimper for one of disappointment. But he knew better. He knew your all of your filthy, horny sounds especially when you were starkly reminded just how small you were compared to him, just how much power he held over you because of that.

So he didn’t hesitate to wrap his rough hands around your neck, effectively stopping all of your movements. And his frustration seemed to multiple tenfold at your widening eyes. Like a shocked little girl.

“When did you turn into such a whore?” There was that cold, mocking smirk you begging to see.

Neither of you missed the way you rubbed your thighs together at his words. “I’m sorry daddy. Just want your cock.” You never could keep up the facade of being a brat for long. Not when you knew being a good submissive girl would have him giving you what you wanted quicker.

His eyes trialed down to your lips sensually before he leaned down and gave you a bruising kiss. One that had you quickly forgetting about your cup of water and instead had you all but leaning completely into him, savoring the feeling of his lips on yours and his wandering tongue. Leaning as high as you could on your tiptoes to meet his lips, your hands were traveling his chest and torso, trying to feel as much of his as you could. You felt him pick you up easily.

It’d been too long and he had been needy as well, but was holding it in to give you time to do your work but it seemed you had finally caved and were just as tense as he was with the need to get off. He had made sure a long time ago that you wouldn’t ever be able to get off without him, he was the only one your body would respond to as he had trained it to do, the only one that could give you release.

Thrill was the only thing that filled you when you felt your back hit wood, maybe that’s why you didn’t care that it was the kitchen table you were over. As you stared at Michael hovering above you, you couldn’t get yourself to chastise him as you normally would have; you were normally so respectful of shared living spaces, especially ones everyone would eat on later on. But as Michael’s expert hands undid your bra to leave you bare before him, all you could be was excited for what was to come and thankful that Michael was just as weak as you to give you what you wanted without delay.

“Never gonna listen to you and go to class again.” He muttered as his roughly spread your legs. You weren’t sure if he was mad at your earlier stunt or just too turned on to be gentler, but you didn’t mind. “I could have fucking opened those pictures in front of others, or is that what you wanted? Wanted those motherfuckers to see something that’s mine? See what a useless slut you are without me? You would’ve been the cause of their fucking funeral.” Definitely still mad.

He pulled you hair roughly, exposing your throat as you leaned back and stared into his eyes. But nothing could hide the horniness swirling in his eyes, or the poke of his hard cock against his jeans on your inner thigh. You tried to wiggle your hips to ground against his cock but were met with only air, causing a wanting whimper to leave your lips. Michael spread your legs even further, dealing with his own clothes in the process. He could pretend all he liked but his quickness to get inside you spoke for itself.

“Do you know how hard I was in the middle of class? After all the times you told me to go to class, you can’t even let me focus on learning. What a bad influence you turned out to be, little one.” His voice was taunting but you could only focus on getting him inside you faster. All the feelings of desire you had when alone in his room, that drove you to send those pictures in the first place, had come back tenfold.

Your breath hitched and you clenched around nothing, his previous swiftness had turned into a torturous stalling and you were sure he was doing it on purpose. But as if the dirty visuals you had sent directly to his phone were what was driving him, he finally took a hold of your hips and entered you. You were so wet you didn’t even need any foreplay. You were shaking with excitement. This was so much better than what you had tried home alone without him.

“Is this what you wanted?” He asked, his hand moving to your neck deliciously. His words were spit out sarcastically as your eyes rolled at the fast thrusts that had your body moving from the momentum. Your tits were moving with the rhythm of his thrusts and it was easy to see his eyes drawn to them. The table under you creaked with Michael’s strength.

But you couldn’t even answer him, your mind was jumbled in the bliss of finally getting what you wanted. His tight grip around your neck and rough thrusts was just a bonus. But the feeling of him against your tight walls, the sound of skin on skin sounding throughout the house had you in a haze. Only moans filtered out of your lips.

Michael’s hips moved skillfully as he stood between your completely spread legs, leaving you totally exposed for him. You were turned slightly to the side as he drilled into you, his hair falling in front of his eyes as he watched you carefully with hard eyes. Small grunts left him. He sucked in a breath. “That’s good, little one. Shit your cunt’s dripping, I’m going to wreck you.”

Maybe he was just as equally in a haze as you were. The need you had planted in him had driven him wilder than he let you believe. Maybe that’s why, in that vulnerable position he had you in, when you opened your eyes slightly you were the first to notice Ashton at the end of the hallway that led from the front door. His eyes were wide, keys still in hand and his mouth was drawn open.

You couldn’t be sure how long he had been standing there. Only that he hadn’t said a word to stop you or announce his presence. It was his shock that prevented him from speaking, surely.

For all the years you and Michael had been together, you were so cautious to never be caught, especially by Ashton who you respected enough to never purposely want to put in this position. This embarrassing position. Suddenly you were acutely aware of just exactly what Ashton was seeing. You were completely bare before him, only covered by the parts that Michael’s own body hid from view and maybe his large frame would be swallowing your small one more effectively if he had been leaning over you more but he wasn’t. Your face was washed in pleasure as your boyfriend, his best friend, drilled into you relentlessly. The way Michael had your legs spread guaranteed him a good view. You couldn’t even stop your moans in time so he was seeing and hearing every last detail. You’d never felt so exposed.

There was a battle within Ashton. It had started since the moment he walked in and heard you, then seen you two. His first thought was to announce his presence and tell you to find a room, or maybe to leave himself. But he couldn’t even fully develop that thought before he took a good look at the scene and he had trouble opening his mouth at all. With all his racing thoughts, it was hard to pick one to know what he was feeling but the drying of his throat as he heard your melodious moans and as he saw the way Michael had you submitted to him, body made easy to fuck and as he saw the pleasure before him, he had a good idea of just exactly which emotion was winning. His body sure knew anyway. And that part of him didn’t want to stop this.

But you took it upon yourself to do what he couldn’t. “A-Ashton”

You hadn’t meant to moan it out but with Michael’s thrusts never ceasing, it was hard to get anything out any other way.

It was a token of how lost in you Michael was, how focused on your pleasure and the feelings he hadn’t been able to have in weeks, that he hadn’t even noticed Ashton, his presence or your notice of his presence. So hearing his best friend’s name, or any other man’s name, coming from your mouth in a moment as intimate and sexual as this was disorienting. And infuriating as he felt a lick of jealousy and possessiveness creep into him.

His eyebrows furrowed as he tightened his already steely grip on your throat. “What the fuck did you just call me?” His thrusts never lightened and he heard you scream slightly, back arching, as he made sure to reach a crevice he knew would have you seeing stars. He didn’t know what you were playing at, whether you were trying to be a brat again to get him to go rougher but he quickly decided just how much he hated hearing you moan another man’s name while under him. Not when this was something only he had the right to do, the only one who had ever and will ever be with you in this way.

“N-no, no Mikey, Ashton h-he’s….” You trailed off but one of your hands reached to cover his that was on your neck and the other extended to point beside him.

You watched him finally look over to where Ashton stood. You were biting your lip to prevent more sounds from escaping you as you saw him and Ashton finally make eye contact. You noticed when Michael leaned forward slightly, covering you up much more from Ashton’s gaze. And then you realized with horror that he hadn’t stopped thrusting in and out of you and didn’t seem like he was going to anytime soon.

Michael hips didn’t even falter when he saw his best friend watching him with wide eyes, a blush now adorning his cheeks in embarrassment and in reaction to the sinful sounds coming out of you. Try as you might, moans and whines still left your mouth for Ashton to hear, powerless but to respond to Michael’s stimulations.

Maybe if it was anyone else, Michael would have covered you up completely, preventing any man from being able to see your body, something only Michael should have access to. Maybe if it was anyone else other than his best friend he would completely eclipsed your small body with his large one, possessively. But it wasn’t anyone else, it was Ashton, whom he trusted so much. So he made no move other than to hide you just a bit more, trust or not, he wasn’t going to allow Ashton to be able to see all you. He didn’t deserve it, not just yet.

He continued thrusting into you, more deeply than before. The sound of skin slapping still echoed throughout the house. Michael’s stoic gaze didn’t leave Ashton’s and his tone when he spoke never wavered, it almost sounded like he was having a normal conversation. “Are you going to get out or just stay and watch?” He saw your mouth drop in surprise, eyes wide and embarrassment filling into your eyes.

Ashton didn’t respond, wasn’t sure if he physically could even if he tried. But Michael didn’t wait for it either, after a few seconds of silence and of him not moving to leave, Michael’s gaze left his, almost disinterested, and returned to your whimpering figure.

You couldn’t believe what Michael was doing, what you were letting him do. If there was ever a time that embodies just how much he was corrupting you, this would be it. This situation that you would’ve never otherwise been in without him. And what was worse was how much you liked it, you couldn’t deny the heat spreading through your body, how much wetter you were getting, the way you clamped down on Michael as the situation really set in. Your body was powerless but to respond to his rough thrusts still ravaging your body, how full you felt by him. It was hot to know Ashton was seeing just how good Michael was making you feel and was experiencing Michael’s dominance. Your eyes slipped down before you could stop yourself and you saw the bulge in Ashton’s pants. He was liking it just as much.

Maybe that’s what took away your embarrassment, at least hid it for the moment being. Or maybe it was Michael slapping your cheek. “Look at me.” His voice was just as dominating as it usually was and your whine was just as needy as it usually was. Your hips began moving of their own accord, desperate to meet his thrusts. You were forgoing any hint of shyness at your desperation being seen by someone else. You were too far gone, all you cared about was feeling Michael’s thrusts and getting to the release you had been needing for so long.

You heard Michael’s mocking chuckle. “Guess someone will see how much of a submissive whore you are, after all.” It felt as if your heart skipped a beat at his words.

Ashton was seemingly mesmerized. He hadn’t meant for his answer to be to stay and watch but he didn’t think he could move to leave, even if he wanted to. The only time when he felt as if he snapped out of it was when he saw Michael slap you. He always knew Michael was rough in bed, it was hard not to imagine when he overheard him so many times through the paper thin walls. But to see you welcome such degrading and rough treatment almost wantonly was an image that seemed to cause his already hard dick, strain even more against his pants. Especially when he had only ever seen you as a shy, quiet girl. This was a new side of you he had never expected would have even existed.

Suddenly he understood why Michael was with you. It shouldn’t have made sense. You were too different. You were too proper and sweet, much too much to ever be a part of something like this, and Michael was too violent and angry. Just watching Michael’s heavily tattooed torso and chest come into contact with your lower body with every thrust, you resembled a girl getting taken by the delinquent of whatever story you were a part of, one that should’ve never had you in that way, one that you should’ve never even looked twice at. Not for the first time, Ashton wondered how Michael had gotten someone like you. But as he watched you submit so easily to Michael, as he saw you letting Michael take you raw, the way your wetness was dripping around your inner thighs, his hand around your throat, his tattoos clashing almost violently against your completely bare skin, heard you crying out in pleasure, he knew that no matter how, Michael had ruined you, tainted you and made you to be perfect for him, the perfect slut he could fuck however he wanted because you wanted it just as much. Your body was his for the taking. Your sweetness made you the perfect fit for him. And he made sure you would never be content with anyone else ever again.

Ashton always wondered just how you two worked, with you being so tiny compared to Michael but now, he couldn’t help but watch just how your small body was taking him in. Though it couldn’t have been entirely with ease, he could tell with the roughness of Michael’s grip and thrusts, as if fighting against your walls to be able to bottom out inside you. He could see the way Michael fit tightly inside of your tiny cunt, the way you looked almost stuffed with his size each time he bottomed out in you. You looked so small under him, you almost looked like a doll. And somehow, knowing Michael was stretching you open made everything so much hotter.

And maybe he would’ve been able to hold out, just content with watching the tangle of moaning bodies in front of him and hearing the chorus of your moans and skin slapping, but then he heard you whimper out “Daddy, don’t stop.” and he had to physically hold back a groan, his hand coming up to palm himself above his jeans. Your voice was so filled with hazy pleasure that he didn’t know how Michael didn’t cum right then and there. It seemed as if Michael was fucking away your care about being watched, the pleasure was too high. He was rendering you dumb, unable to hold a thought still in your mind.

Michael made it clear he had no care about an audience; nothing could take his attention from you in these moments and he didn’t mind showing off just exactly what he did to you - what only he has ever done to you. Which is why he had no qualms about making you moan loader.

Grabbing a hold of your hair, he pulled you up off of the table and to your feet, regretfully pulling out of you. You didn’t even have the time to whine in disappointment before you were being practically flung onto the couch, landing with your knees bent on the seats and your hands and face over the backing of it, ass facing Michael’s approaching figure.

You couldn’t help but notice, with a blush, how much closer it was to Ashton. Part of you wondered if it was done on purpose, to rile up Ashton all the more, give him more of a show or if it was just to get you to a more comfortable place like Michael would’ve likely wanted you to think. It was easy to forget what was happening before, to not remember that you were currently being wrecked in front of your boyfriend’s best friend, letting him see everything, you naked and willing like a submissive slut. But now, it was impossible not to see and be aware of just how exactly you were being exposed for their pleasure when you were directly across from him and it was wrong to be aware of how much your pussy heated up with want and how you clenched around nothing while Michael took his place behind you. His heavily tattooed upper body just helped him look even more daunting behind you at his full height, towering over your cute figure easily and vastly.

He took a hold of your hips before quickly entering you again, easy as if it was his rightful place. But he stopped his own movements once he was buried in you to the hilt. He groaned out under his breath when your hips circled, crying out for more. “Good girl.” He muttered before he began hammering into you with a speed you had been dreaming of. After weeks of nothing, this felt so so good. And despite the fact it looked as if Michael could have been ripping you apart with the size difference, you were taking it so well. You were so little, if Michael pulled you up against his chest, even at the elevated position you were in then, you’d barely reach his chin. And he knew the reason Michael wasn’t doing just that was because no matter how much he trusted Ashton, he wouldn’t let anyone experience you entirely, he’d never completely expose you like that to anyone else.

Your eyes closed almost immediately at the sensation, your head thrown back allowed Michael to take a hold of your hair to keep you still. He pulled just enough for it to hurt and your mouth dropped open, the bruises on your neck from Michael’s hands visible. The hungry screams that escaped you from his vigorous thrusts didn’t embarrass you, you had given up trying to silence or lower your sounds for Ashton’s sake. But your screams of ecstasy still reverberated through the house. They were breathy and full of desire, feeling your body move to match Michael’s. You couldn’t think straight enough to formulate words.

But then Michael pulled harshly on your hair again, “Open your eyes.” And when you did and met Ashton’s gaze directly, you felt yourself blush, at least having the decency to feel a little embarrassed at your weakness in front of him. And by his blush and almost pained expression at his own desires arising, you couldn’t tell for which of you Michael’s orders were more degrading for. “Tell him how much you love getting fucked by me.”

You sucked in a breath. There you were, gazing at Ashton eye to eye as your body moved from the thrusts racking your person as your grunting boyfriend was behind you, fucking you without mercy. Not caring that he was doing all of this in front of his friend. In fact he didn’t look the least bit embarrassed or uncertain. He never had issues doing things publicly or where you could get caught and even in this extreme he looked unbothered, as if this was just any other time you had sex. He didn’t care about being watched, especially watched making you feel good. Because he never cared about other people or their opinions, even in moments like these. You were the one and only exception in his life so his only focus was your pleasure and experiencing you as he saw fit. And the possessive part of him wanted to make it clear to everyone that it was him that was doing this to you, fucking and destroying you so well. That he was the only one that knows and will ever know your body, he had claimed it and you making it so you were conditioned to always respond to him and only him; and you were powerless to stop it. He wanted them to see how submissive you were for him because you were his.

Your hands clenched into tiny fists on top of the couch, your mouth open as you continued to whimper and moan, face furrowing every now and then as Michael’s thick cock reached a particularly deep part inside of you. You couldn’t even hide your face as Michael held it in the air by your hair to keep your eyes on Ashton. You couldn’t help but see Ashton gasp at Michael’s request as well, his hand in his pants moving faster than before.

It was almost too much, too dirty. But when Michael moved to be further on top of you, his chest leaning directly on your back so he could whisper in your ear. “You’re just my fucking cocksleeve that I can use whenever I want.”

Maybe it was his words or maybe it was the way the new angle made him, with every slowing thrust, hit your g-spot every time. You could feel him against your tight walls, fitting so perfectly in you. But your face scrunched up in pleasure, a particularly loud moan leaving you, your eyes never tearing from Ashton right in front of you.

He saw everything, every little reaction you had as your boyfriend fucked your small body so good. He could only see your face and torso as Michael large body completely eclipsed yours. Your size difference was never more obvious to Ashton as it felt as if Michael would break you in an instant with how weak and little you were to the point where he completely overtook you. Just a little more and he wouldn’t even be able to see you over Michael’s tattooed back. That knowledge was very clear in your mind as well and you loved it. Especially to know that Ashton was a witness to how you were completely dominated in all senses and protected by your big boyfriend. All you had were thoughts of pleasing and obeying Michael.

“I-I love it when he f-fucks me.” You told Ashton, watching how his eyes widened, dark with lust and his hand moving faster. Michael continued thrusting into you, not making his request of you speaking easy, spreading your ass as he did which made you gasp out whenever he bottomed out inside of you sharply. You writhed forward at his thrusts and feeling but he kept you in place, preventing you from moving forward and away, keeping you at the perfect angle where he could move as deeply and as quickly as he wanted in you, using you for his pleasure just as much as he was providing it. His thrusts were sharp and precise. Your head fell downwards at the pleasure of his hips, moaning, but never for long before he pulled you hair to have your head up in the air and eyes on Ashton yet again, back to the humiliating position of having to watch as Ashton was witness to your sinful and horny actions. You could feel your orgasm coming close and your toes curled at the feeling. This was what you wanted and had been craving for, what you’d teased Michael for in the first place.

Ashton didn’t seem to mind your stutters, broken sentences or even your dirty words. Your voice was small and breathy mixed in with whines and gasps. You could’ve sworn you heard him groan out, muttering a small Fuck under his breath. But Michael didn’t seem as mad as he would be in any other situation where a guy was getting off to his girlfriend. Maybe because no matter what, he was the one that was currently drilling into your tiny pussy, leaving it a mess.

Your next words weren’t part of the script but you knew it would please your boyfriend. “He…he fucks me so good, I’m his…his dirty little fucktoy” Your mind was buzzing and your heart clanged against your chest. It was so degrading, even humiliating but still you couldn’t help but feel even closer to your release.

Michael’s hips stuttered at your words, caught off guard. “Shit.” Your words fulfilled his possessive appetite perfectly. Hearing you claim yourself as his in front of someone, with your voice completely filled with pleasure was hotter than he ever imagined. You knew just what he wanted, without him even having to tell you completely. Holding you closer as his continued thrusting in an out of you, grunting with each thrust. He was moving your body for you, moving your small size so easily up and down on his big dick - just like a toy. At times pulling out to the tip just to be able to impale you back down to hear your gasped out moan. You were clenching your already tight walls around him to hug his cock impossibly tight. He had lasted so much longer than he thought possible with you feeling this good.

“Thats right, squeeze daddy’s cock just like that, little one.” Michael groaned out. He could feel himself being close, if he wasn’t before he definitely was after your words. The urge to cum inside you and claim your pussy, with his cum filling and dripping down you, had never been larger. But he wanted to see you spasm around him first, fully showcase just how good he was making you feel. “I’m going to stuff you with my cum in front of him. Gonna show him how my bitch lets me cum inside of her, breed her. This is my fucking cunt.”

It was too much, the image he had planted in your head, the certainty he felt in claiming you no matter in front of who, especially when his tatted hand came around your body to find your clit. You screamed at the same time you came around him, eyes closed as you still faced Ashton. “Yes daddy cum inside me, please. F-fill me up.” You were whining like a bitch in heat. You sounded as delirious as you looked. You were almost drooling in desire for his cum. Your mind was gone.

But it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t be expected to go weeks without your boyfriends cock, not when you were so spoiled and used to having him whenever either of you felt needy. It had been like a self inflicted punishment. But if sex like this was what you got afterwards, after teasing him then you had to do it more often.

That was all it took for Ashton, seeing you fall apart completely and hearing your dirtiest words as of yet. He wished he could be more embarrassed about cumming from the sight of best friend’s girlfriend getting railed but he couldn’t bring himself to be as he watched you still getting milked.

“Fucking cum hungry slut” Michael cursed out loud when he felt you tremble beneath him.

“Yesyesyes”He felt your cum around his cock and that was all it took for him to be releasing into you, holding on to your hips with a loud groan. He heard you whimper at the feeling of his cum filling you up to the brim. He wasn’t sure if it was just how long it had been since the last time he had had you like that or just the situation but he felt as he never came as hard before in his life. He’d never let himself be deprived of you for so long ever again.

Even when he pulled out, some cum still splashed onto your thighs and back but you did nothing but breath out heavily and snuggle deeper into the couch, hiding your body from any wandering eyes, exhausted and still in disbelief. Michael really had corrupted you beyond your wildest imagination.

Ashton was leaning on the wall behind him, breathing just as heavily as the two in front of him. He watched Michael, with his glistening body and labored breaths, take a hold of the first fabric he could find and clean off any excess on your body. It wasn’t lost on Ashton what it meant that you trusted Michael enough to let fuck you raw and cum inside you instead of using a condom, the intimacy of it all. Silently, Michael stared at you with soft eyes - so different from the hard and focused ones he had on while relentlessly driving into you. And if he hadn’t known the dynamic of your relationship before, it would have been very obvious to Ashton now, just how much Michael loved you. Even after he had degraded you so much just moments before. Michael wouldn’t ever care for anyone the same way he was currently tending to you, he never had and never will again. Even if he was infinitely more experienced with infinitely more people, this behavior from him was for you and only you. You were the only one he would ever love as much. His focus was entirely on you, ignoring the audience as he had been for the majority of the time. He didn’t care, his only care was ever on you. But even he couldn’t deny how hot the situation had been.

Michael didn’t say it but Ashton knew, even if it was just an accident and even if it had been used to embarrass you and dominate you even further, that he was lucky to ever be allowed to see you like he had just done. Michael likely wouldn’t have let anyone else so close, maybe just enough to see him wrecking you and enough to hear you but never so intimately and exposed as Ashton had witnessed. He was too jealous for that. But he trusted Ashton and knew you did too.

So why would he have to stop his moment with you, one he had been needy for for weeks when he didn’t have to or want to. He didn’t care about anyone or anyone’s feelings or thoughts, other than you. Nothing would keep him away from you in that moment, especially after being teased as he had been. And Ashton was thankful to have walked in on such a hot scene. A front row seat to his own personal porn video.

Your face was heating up as you peaked out from the couch. Embarrassment and timidness was clear as you chewed on your lower lip. It was almost comical to see you like that now after the side of you that you had just let out. But you had never been in that position before, only having heard it from the very dirtiest talk your boyfriend had mentioned before in bed. But never did you think it would really happen. Ashton had seen you begging to get fucked and bred, seen your naked body, heard all of your dirtiest sounds and words and seen the way you submitted to your boyfriend as he dominated over you as he always did. What would he think of you?

But you only saw the way his pants were unzipped and unbuttoned, the disheveled look he watched you with. And you didn’t think you saw a hint of judgement in his gaze, just horniness and shock.

It was silent, neither of you knowing what to say and Michael not caring enough to break the silence.

But eventually Ashton couldn’t take it and he tried to make his voice was filled with humor as it usually was. “Dude….we-we eat on that table.” He stuttered, it was hard not to after what he had just seen. His mouth was dry and he licked his lips to wet them.

Michael threw his jacket over your small body, its size enough to cover your entire figure. But then he looked directly at Ashton, not a hint of the embarrassment you were experiencing. He didn’t feel the need, he had given Ashton a choice. And he had gotten to please you and get to finally feel you around him again which were the only things he really cared about in the world; you and making you feel good. Fuck everyone else.

In fact, he felt a swell of pride at having claimed you so thoroughly, shown just how well he had tainted you to be his. He felt even better that he could finally fuck you like he had been wanting without being interrupted or having to stop because of the interruption; he didn’t have to be angry or protective over you because Ashton was too mesmerized by you and what happened to make you feel even shyer.

“I didn’t hear you complaining.”

#5sos smut #5sos #Michael clifford #Michael clifford smut #Michael clifford x reader #bad boy smut #bad boy michael #5sos imagines #jealous smut #possessive smut #college au #jealous bad boy #jealous michael #Ashton Irwin smut

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nattikay · 3 years

Text

yeah so YouTube randomly decided to recommend me some Beastars analysis videos and it inspired me to get off my chest some thoughts I’ve been holding on to since finishing the manga a few months ago. So uh if you haven’t watched/read Beastars (and there will be brief manga mentions so maybe vaguely spoilery for anime-only folks) go ahead and keep scrolling cuz this probably won’t make sense lol

anyways, here’s my hot take:

I think carnivores should be allowed to eat meat.

Like, they shouldn’t be allowed to murder, obviously. Predation is still bad, the livestock rings are still bad, the body-parts-hyperdrugs thing is still bad, and yeah those should all remain hecka illegal.

But barring those awful cases, the majority of the meat from the back-alley market is supposedly (secretly) donated by hospitals and funeral homes--in other words, from animals who have already died of natural causes. And I think carnivores should be allowed to eat the meat of animals who have already died so long as they’re not being intentionally killed for the purpose of consumption.

The reason for this is carnivores kinda biologically need meat to thrive. We’ve all seen those "owners trying to force their cats/dogs to be vegan” posts. Doesn’t end well. Sure, you could argue that the animals in Beastars have evolved past that need and their hunting instincts are merely residual--but if this is true I think could only be partly so, given Jack talking about how over the years carnivore bodies have been “shrinking” because they can’t eat meat. See also Gouhin telling Legoshi that there’s only so far training can take his strength as a wolf without adding a bit of meat to his diet.

Basically, the carnivore population is, to some degree, being legally malnourished and uh...yeah, it’s really no wonder that the back-alley market is such a big thing that almost every carnivore uses at some point in their life.

Unless their society can craft an adequate fake meat that actually fulfills all the nutritional needs of a carnivore (which is more than just protein--I know for example that taurine is an important thing with dog and especially cat foods, and vegan humans usually need B12 supplements so probably some of that as well, etc.), which they clearly haven’t given that these issues still persist--yeah, I think they should be able to eat real meat.

You could also argue that it’s not right to eat an herbivore even after they’ve died of other causes because they were a sapient being that may not have wanted their body eaten without their permission, and sure, that’s fair. So think of it like organ donation. Have a form a living herbivore can fill out, if they are comfortable with it, that says “yes, when I die you may use my meat”. There ya go. If it was a known and open thing how vital meat is to carnivore health, there’d probably be plenty enough donors while those who are genuinely uncomfy with the idea can easily opt out.

And with carnivore’s nutritional needs being better met and openly accepted, they won’t have to repress that side of themselves quite so much and therefore there’ll be less of an issue with said side bursting out via predation incidents. Heck, throw some more places like B-Strike in there too, and give carnivores a way to use their hunting instincts in a non-lethal way--kinda like the way you let your cat chase a feather wand to give it the thrill of a hunt without actually killing any small animals. Their hunting instincts are being satisfied in a safe way, and their nutritional needs are being met ethically--predation should drop a fair bit (won’t disappear completely because of course there will always be criminals, nothing you can do about that unfortunately, but should still drop) and everyone'd be healthier.

This is why I wasn’t super crazy about the back alley market getting demolished at the end of the manga, because while yes there was some nasty stuff going on back there that needed to be cracked down on, destroying the market...doesn’t really solve the root of the problem (that being that carnivores in this society are essentially malnourished/their hunting instincts are not being safely satisfied). If anything, it just delays it a bit and I wouldn’t be surprised if a few years down the road the market just starts coming back up again.

I mean, maybe it won’t be as bad because I guess they’re allowed to eat fish now?? idk that part was really glossed over so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (yyyeahh the ending was...a bit of a mess...let’s just say it’ll be one of the few cases where I won’t mind if the anime makes some changes lol)

And honestly this was the issue I had with the second half of the series. If Legoshi doesn’t want to eat meat, that’s fine, and if he personally wants work crazy hard to completely purge himself of his hunting instincts and become as strong as he can without meat, cool goal man...but he needs to get off his high horse and stop trying to force that on everyone else. It was even hard to root for him a few times because I just...didn’t really agree with him lol. Carnivores (well, most of them) usually resort to going to the back-alley market not because they’re inherently corrupt, but because they have a legitimate nutritional deficiency that needs to be addressed, whether they consciously realize it or not.

Legoshi is a good character and all but dood ya gotta chill

aaaand yeah carnivores should be legally allowed to eat meat

so uh yeah there’s my (unpopular?) Beastars opinion, hope you enjoyed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#beastars #legoshi be like ''i'm an herbivore stan''#yeah well i'm a carnivore stan lol

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magniloquent-raven · 3 years

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31 and 42 for any character(s) you want

eyyy ty for the ask 🥰

31. most prized possession

billy has one picture of his mother.

he managed to keep some of her stuff hidden from neil. a few small things. a filigree dolphin ring she’d left by the bathroom sink, a rinsed out jam jar full of her favourite bits of sea glass, and a paperback novel with curling edges and a broken spine. he used to pester her while she was reading, ask her endless questions until she relented and read out loud for him. didn’t matter what she was reading, he barely paid attention to the stories anyways, he just liked to hear her do the voices.

and all of those things are important to him. (he keeps them in separate hiding places, in case neil ever goes looking through his things, he doesn’t want them all thrown out at once, if it comes to that.) he’s read the book dozens of times. he used to wear the ring when he was alone in his room, but he outgrew it years ago. when he has the house to himself he sorts through the sea glass, lays it all out on his bed and tries to remember the stories she told about each piece.

and he treasures all these little keepsakes, but none more than the single, faded photograph he has of the women herself. a polaroid he took when he was too young to hold the camera properly. it’s crooked, and at a weird, unflattering angle, the sun blotting out a whole corner of the photo, but her smile is still clear and visible, and that’s all that matters.

because she left when he was so young. and he worries that one day he’ll forget what she looks like.

so he looks at the picture every day. sometimes just a glance, to remind himself, and sometimes, when he’s snuck in through his window after a party, drunk and woozy and in his feelings, he’ll sit on his floor and look at it til his eyes get tired and he can’t blink away the tears anymore.

and i think that steve would have a weird relationship with possessions. like. as a teenager, stuff feels like a burden sometimes. all the things his parents bought. he isn’t allowed to complain about his parents not spending time with him because they’ve given him things instead. that they’re at least somewhat invested in keeping him alive. his dad would definitely be one of those “you’re so ungrateful, and after we fed and clothed you all these years” kind of parents.

so he has all these things that are supposed to mean something to him, but they just. don’t.

then when him and billy become tentative friends, billy decides he’s deeply and personally offended by steve’s taste in music. and he makes him a mixtape. it’s just. songs billy likes. music that doesn’t suck scribbled on the label, with a dumb little winky face drawn on the corner. it is in no way a romantic gesture, except. excep steve’s already got a massive crush on billy so, really, he couldve handed over a fucking math textbook and steve still would’ve gotten butterflies over the fact that billy thought of him at all.

and then billy listens to it with him. talks to him about it. it’s not just that billy thought of him, made something for him, but it’s an excuse to spend time with him too.

and when they start dating billy starts to give him other stuff. little things. a wonky little stuffed turtle he snagged from a claw machine while steve paid for their pizza. a piece of sea glass he found when they took a trip to the beach (he looked real serious when he handed it over, his eyes a little distant, and steve didn’t quite understand why, but the frown was easily kissed away). and a couple more mixtapes over the years. that steve would keep even when they couldn’t be played anymore.

he keeps these things in a fancy little wooden box on his dresser, all polished and shiny with gold plated hinges. full of all the things billy’s ever given him. and maybe it’s a little fucked up that sometimes he thinks he keeps these things because he needs the tangible proof that he’s loved, and that without all the little tokens of affections he’d just float untethered and unsure, but. they aren’t just things anymore, they’re memories, and love

42. hobbies

i absolutely adore the idea of post s3 billy just. doing a bunch of grandma activities lmao. his lungs and his heart are all busted up and there’s residual chest pain and he just can’t be as active as he used to be. plus he’s not as social anymore. being possessed and traumatized will do that to you. and then people start to notice that he’s stuck at home, bored and depressed. max notices. steve notices. word gets around.

and somehow their campaign to help him leads to him learning how to bake (max starts taking out cookbooks from the library and giving them to him) and taking care of plants (steve buys him cacti and herbs and anything that blooms blue) and eventually mrs henderson teaches him how to knit. (doc owens says it’ll be good for his hands, keep his fine motor skills sharp. and he doesn’t laugh. which helps)

and all of it helps keep him occupied. keep him from wallowing too much. and it’s nice to make things. keep things alive. feels like a step forward

and idk about in canon, but whether it’s an au thing or not, i love steve as an artist. he’s not great with words, and he just feels. dumb a lot of the time. he’s not intellectual. not good at school, things that his dad and his teachers tell him he’s supposed to be good at if he wants to amount to anything. but when he gets bored in class, when he just doesn’t understand the book he’s supposed to be reading, or he can’t follow along with the complicated formulas up on the board, he doodles. his notebooks are full of little drawings. caricatures of his classmates. landscape snapshots of what he can see through the window. he gets restless and his mind wanders but when he’s drawing he focuses.

and he doesn’t really show people. doesn’t tell anyone. he doesn’t think of himself as an artist, he just can’t concentrate in class so he doodles. it’s a shameful thing.

but maybe a teacher notices. takes an interest. encourages him a little. and its not much but it’s a start. lets him think about it a little more positively. he still hides it from his parents, he knows it’d just end with a lecture from his dad, but he feels less shitty about himself when he flips through his notebooks that are full of more pictures than words.

headcanon asks

#steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #a raven's writing desk #i guess lol #i went on a bit of a ramble #u just know that artist steve would have like #pages and pages of sketches of billy after he moves to hawkins #like he wants to hate this guy but he's just so damn pretty and he can't stop drawing him

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prismadog · 3 years

Text

Found Family AU character facts (part 6)

okay yeah, these are more like backgrounds than anything else so idk why I keep calling them "character facts" - but I've already come this far and am therefore too lazy to change them [used to be a time when my OCD kicked in real bad and wouldn't leave me alone until I changed everything to better fit. thank the minecraft gods I don't have that problem anymore - still got OCD but I'm able to ignore it more]

oh, these are also kinda my headcanons for the characters - like Sausage is a dwarf, Pearl a Harvest Guardian, etc. I'm still thinking of writing one-shots about the characters before the actual AU's beginning (ya know, focusing on the background characters more) and I think I might just go ahead and do that, but only after I finish these posts - got two more to do, this one and one with Joel & Pixl.

also, these ones are kinda long but you're just gonna have to live with it because I'm really tired of trying to condense them down, plus, I don't think I can with these two? there's a lot going on

this one features our beloved seablings Lizzie and Jimmy! [I got a one-shot idea for Jimmy's mostly fleshed out in my head] anyway, here we go!

Lizzie

Lizzie is the firstborn of the Ocean Empire, heir to the throne, and elder sister to Jimmy. their mother is Queen, commander of the seas, and their father is King, but also Mr. Trophy Husband (he does not mind this in the slightest). Even from her birth, she has known that one day, she'll be Queen, and has trained extensively to be the best fighter, the best ruler, the best Queen.

she was about 5 when Jimmy was born and she loved him from the start. he was always too small compared to her so she took it upon herself to watch over him and protect him. when she was older, she taught him to fight since their parents were too worried about him getting hurt.

she would go with her father to represent the Ocean Empire, sometimes Jimmy would join but usually he stayed at home. she met other children but never really got to know them because they were scared of her - except one kid named Joel, Prince of Mezalea. he would follow her around and talk her ear off about building, she liked that he was so fearless.

for the next several years, the empires of Mezalea and the Ocean would make visits to each other. Lizzie and Joel got to know each other more and Joel got to meet her brother - Lizzie was nervous that they wouldn't get on but she didn't need to worry, Jimmy accepted Joel easily and Joel called him 'brother'.

Lizzie didn't know until later why there were so many visits - her and Joel's parents wanted to unite their empires through marriage. she found out and went to Joel and talked to him about it, they were 16 at the time so it was too early for them to wed but they promised when they were of age. they talked to their parents about a future marriage and their parents were glad - Jimmy loved the idea as well.

two years later, their father was traveling to another kingdom, to the Crystal Cliffs, when he was slain by unknown people. his remains were returned home and a funeral was held to return him to the Ocean. their mother carried on for some months after but the grief was causing trouble for the empire - there were constant storms that made travel near-impossible.

Lizzie went to her mother and they had a long talk, by the end of it, the Queen gave up her crown and her thrown in order to return to the sea, to her departed husband. a ceremony was held for the Queen as she joined the ocean, and a few days later Lizzie was crowned Queen. Jimmy and Joel were at her side through it all, and Joel's visits became longer and longer until he was practically living with her - not that she minded, she loved the company.

Lizzie and Joel married nearly two years later when they became of age. they had two ceremonies - one Mezalean and the other Oceanic, the wedding itself was held in Mezalea due to different customs, and a smaller ceremony was held in the Ocean Empire. Jimmy was Joel's best man.

life was fairly peaceful for a time, Joel became a trophy husband (like her father, Joel didn't mind). if there was a Gathering, Lizzie would either go with Joel or Jimmy, a few times even both, though she did worry about her brother - he wasn't nearly as strong as her and he liked to get into trouble, when he wasn't hiding behind her that is.

a sickness hit Joel's kingdom that wiped out a decent amount of Mezaleans, including his parents. Joel had to return home to run the kingdom while they were bedridden, Lizzie provided as much aid as possible without endangering her empire too - he insisted she stay in the Ocean. his parents, like many citizens, had their lives taken and he became King.

visits had to become commonplace again and the couple were apart more often than they were together, but Lizzie and Joel made it work. Jimmy often traveled for them, sending messages and gifts for them - he didn't mind.

a few years later, when Jimmy had become of age, he came to her asking her permission to let him travel - really travel, not just between the two empires. she worried for his safety and wanted to keep him near but knew it would only hurt him in the end - so, she gave him as many blessings as she could, as did Joel, and they parted ways. Jimmy promised to write often.

a year later, after a few months of no word, Lizzie got a letter from Jimmy about a small settlement in the swamps that boarded the ocean. she went out immediately with Joel and they visited Jimmy, she lectured him about worrying her then doted on him for a time. she came to find that there had been a storm and Jimmy had washed up in the settlement (literally), the people helped him heal up, and they accepted him into their community when he wished to join.

Lizzie spoke with the elders about the settlement and her brother's role. an agreement was made where Jimmy was declared the ruler of the Cod Empire and they would be allies with the Ocean Empire. she doted on her brother more but eventually returned home.

at the next Gathering, she greeted Jimmy as a ruler, and found that he decided cod heads were in fashion. she kept on eye on her brother - who still liked to get into trouble - and more than once came to his rescue when things got out of hand - some of the other rulers liked to pick on him. things only went too far once and she showed fWhip and Sausage the true might of the Ocean Empire - they never went too far again.

Jimmy

Jimmy is the secondborn to the Ocean Queen & King, prince of the Ocean Empire (though, there's no chance for him to rule), and younger brother to Lizzie by about 5 years. he was a fairly weak child, smaller than what was normal, but he didn't let that stop him from getting into trouble.

he was doted on by many of the adults around him and picked on by many of the noble children - but he thought it was all in good fun. Lizzie watched over him like a hawk, doted on him as well but she also taught him how to protect himself. he learned how to fight and defend from her, even though their parents didn't like it.

Jimmy often stayed home when their father had to travel to the other kingdoms - usually for the Gathering - and Lizzie almost always went with him. he spent most of that time either by himself or with their mother who taught him different things about ruling - in case he either married into another kingdom or founded his own.

after each Gathering, Lizzie and their father returned home, and Lizzie told him all about the event. she brought him gifts and food, and stories about the other kingdoms. she also told him about another prince - Prince Joel of Mezalea - and how she wished they could see each other again and that it'd be nice for Jimmy to meet her new friend.

after a few of these talks, Jimmy decided to help his sister out. he went to their parents and asked them about an alliance between the Ocean Empire and Mezalea - let it be known that he can be fairly intelligent when he wants to be, even though at this point he's only about 7. their parents talked with the rulers of Mezalea and soon, there were visits. Jimmy tried to stay out of the way the first few visits to give Lizzie and Joel space, but his sister always managed to drag him into the middle - Joel accepted him pretty quickly and welcomed his company.

some years passed and there was talk of a future marriage between Lizzie and Joel - Jimmy was more than happy about their decision and already felt like Joel was family. then their father died and a funeral was held for the King of the Ocean Empire. Jimmy took it upon himself to try to keep his mother and sister in good spirits - Lizzie was relatively okay, sad, but okay; their mother was different though, she grieved almost continuously and was torn between keeping Jimmy at her side and not wanting to see him at all - he reminded her so much of her husband but Jimmy never held it against her.

then one day, Lizzie had a talk with their mother about her grief and how it was damaging the Empire - travel had been all but halted and the people were suffering. he wasn't there for the talk, only after when they had to say their goodbyes to their mother - she decided to step down and return to the sea to be with her husband. Lizzie became the next Queen and he stood at her side like always.

Joel visited more often, so often that Jimmy just suggested he move in - even though only a few months had passed. he and Joel often got into some trouble but it was all harmless fun. some time passed and his two best friends - Lizzie and Joel - became of age and Jimmy officially gained a brother.

he didn't really like to go to the Gatherings - there were always too many people and sometimes the other nobles would tease him. if he did go, he liked to wear a mask. otherwise, he usually stayed at home or explored the ocean around the palace.

a sickness hit Joel's kingdom and he lost not only a good number of subjects but also his parents. Joel had to leave the Ocean Empire and take the throne, something that saddened both seablings but more so Lizzie, though she didn't like to show it. Jimmy acted as messenger between his best friends once all was well within Mezalea - Lizzie didn't want him in the thick of it in case he got sick too.

when Jimmy became of age, he decided that he wanted to explore the oceans. he'd always dreamed of exploring but he never thought he was strong enough, that and he had to be here for his sister. but he was an adult and seeing as the throne only goes to the females in the family, there wasn't really an official place for him in the palace. so with Lizzie's permission and many blessings, he set out to see the world around him.

he traveled for quite some time, sending letters when he could, except for one time almost a year after leaving home. he got caught up in a mighty storm that battered him towards the shoreline and washed him aground. he found himself days, maybe more than week, later on the shore of a swamp settlement surrounded by fish-hybrids that looked a bit like cod. he was injured and dehydrated and they took him in and cared for him.

he sent a letter to his sister when he was well enough, which was a couple weeks after waking up in the swamp, and was soon visited. Lizzie lectured him and doted on him and wanted to take him home but he turned her down - he had a debt to repay. a small meeting was held with the elders and Jimmy came out of it as the unofficial-official ruler of the swamp. the people accepted him well enough, he was just another member of their community and he thanked them for that.

he quickly adjusted to his new life, though being closer to their average humanish height took some getting used to - the Ocean royalty are usually about three times as big as the average human, and normal Oceanic people are about twice the size as a human. he started dressing in long sleeves and pants, and he donned a cod-head - all to better blend in with his new people.

at the next Gathering, he was introduced as the Codfather, King of the Cod Empire. a couple of the other rulers - fWhip and Sausage - started to tease him, all in good fun at first then things slowly escalated until one time where he got injured and bedridden from one of their traps. Lizzie wasn't happy about that and put them in their place.

he also found, during the Gatherings, that the ruler of the elf empire, Elfking Scott of Rivendell, hated him, but he also teased him? Jimmy tried to give the elf gifts, to appease him, but nothing seemed to work, he just couldn't get the elf to like him.

#empires smp #found family au #xornoth adopts child!shubble au #lizzie ldshadowlady #jimmy solidarity #seablings #only got one more to go and then i can go back to our (ir)regularly scheduled Xornoth & Shrub content

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goldenpixel · 3 years

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can u talk more about the feral boys smoking and examples of why u think they do? i’ve Always thought especially sapnap has, and him and dream probably smoke a lot together irl (also the way dream always clears his throat??) but i haven’t had anything to really back it up to other people other than a Feeling. idk if ur the same but .. yeah

Honestly, for the most part it is just a Feeling, I like to call it my Gaydar for Stoners, but Sapnap especially I’m like 100% sure

Other than the time that Sapnap straight up told Tommy he was high (which a lot of people write off as a joke, but I firmly believe he was just a little too high and forgot Tommy was streaming, which would explain Tommy’s “huh? This is weird and strange and has definitely never happened before” type of response), there’s also the time that Sapnap was on Dream’s stream and he lit a Hot n Spicy McChicken on fire with the blowtorch that was in arms reach of his set up (what other reason can you think of for a 19 year old to have a blowtorch in his bedroom - on his desk that he likely spends most of his time at - if not for dabs?), and then there’s also that one time pretty soon after the blowtorch thing that he could be heard igniting a lighter in the background while Dream was talking. And that’s just the things that I can think of off the top of my head

Dream is much more subtle about it, but if we look at his behavior in other people’s streams, especially Sapnap’s since they moved in together & Train’s latenight streams, you can’t count the amount of things he says/does that could very easily be attributed to him being high/a stoner. The big thing that I can think of right now is whenever he asks Sapnap if he wants food or Sapnap brings up their eating habits. I know that this can be explained away by them being young guys living on their own, but that combined with Sapnap being all but confirmed and Dream being very open about his mental health (weed can help anxiety, depression, and adhd among many others), just makes me think that he and Sapnap get absolutely blazed together. (also how he hesitates and giggles a little bit whenever someone asks him if he drinks or does drugs)

I think George used to smoke a ton, and probably still lights up sometimes, but not to the same degree that he used to. George was a party animal in college and statistically, British youth actually smoke more than Americans do, despite it now being legal in America. This one is not based in any fact at all, solely just an observation combined with the vibes, but every single one of George’s outfits that we’ve seen him wearing outside of his home are stereotypical seshfits (comfy outfits for the purpose of being as comfy as possible while high)

Most of my stuff for Karl, like George, could just be because he’s a busy gamer boy, but I’m gonna list them out anyway. First, every solo-Karl alt stream I’ve ever caught, he’s been absolutely schlumped playing some mindless game like slither.io, and idk about any of my fellow weed partakers, but when you’re alone, being slouched and stoned at 2am-5am playing something like that is one of the greatest things ever, especially when you’re listening to the music that he almost always is playing. Then there’s that photo I posted a while ago with Karl and Mr Beast eating the Dream Burger, where Karl looks absolutely blasted, and I’m sure if we were to go back through old photos, videos, vods, whatever, there would be many many more just like that photo. And remember that old photo of Karl when he met Valkyrae? He looks like the epitome of the nerdy kid in high school who everyone thinks goes straight home, does his homework, and then plays video games until school the next morning, but he actually has a major smoke sesh before the gaming starts, and if you’re the lucky one to figure this out, you’ll suddenly have access to the highest quality weed that that school will ever see

Quackity is the one that I’ve got the least proof for, just because he’s always so Quackity. Like, if that boy is smoking regularly, it’s gotta be pure sativa, or he’s just timing it perfectly that he’s rarely high on stream, and probably never on his own streams. I’ve actually been meaning to go back through his vods and see if I can find any substance to it other than vibes and the fact that I firmly believe the feral boys have had smoke sesh calls more than once

If anyone wants to add or refute anything, feel free!! I love discussing this stuff, cuz it’s almost certain that we’re never going to get clear answers cuz they need to keep up their mostly family friendly images. Swearing and sex jokes are one thing, but if parents were to find out that they openly smoked weed a lot of kids would 100% be banned from watching them

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mysticalmusicwhispers · 3 years

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#i wonder what your thoughts on diaspora in hetalia are#cause its a pretty interesting topic (the post in question)

@urmomsstuntdouble a collection of things that I think about on a semi-regular basis below the cut (also thank you for the tags!)

Disclaimer: I think this turned into more of a discussion of immigration and immigrants, but I hope this strikes your fancy anyways 😅. Also this got SO LONG and I explained quite a bit of history (because idk whether anyone knows much about this), so the key thoughts will be bolded!

My thoughts are kinda complicated about this tbh; it’s weird, because if China really did exist as a personification in real life, we’d probably both be judging each other, just for different reasons 😅.

General Hetalia Cases

I think when discussing immigrants/diaspora, you have to think about why different immigrants left. @cupofkey kinda discussed that a while ago (if anyone hasn’t seen this superb post, GO READ IT NOW) about the Vietnamese diaspora, and I think there’s some of that in every country. How do the immigrants feel about the home country? Why did they leave: because of hard times, poverty? Political instability/revolution/war? Opportunities overseas? Are they doing well in their new home, or still struggling? Does their new country treat them like foreigners or outcasts, unworthy of even arriving, or doing anything besides menial labor, or have they been welcomed (rather unlikely)? Do they hate their home country (politically), or miss them? Would they ever go back, not just to visit family or the place of their birth, but to return permanently?

I think on the whole, hetalia nations would still maintain a connection to their immigrants, especially since most are still in touch with their culture, although they’ve crossed borders or changed nationalities. (However, the angst of not being as in touch with your culture as you think you should is so real; would our home countries be disappointed? Or do they sympathize, somehow?) In the end, we’re all the same that way. Plus, the alternative thought of them just disowning immigrants feels weird; I don’t even know how that would be possible. But I think that connection gets complicated by the reason people left, and their feelings for their place of origin; I’ll be using APH China and Chinese Americans as an example to discuss this hksdgsdf (sorry I don’t want to do more research than necessary and I have Thoughts about this)

**OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER that immigration/diaspora discussions are almost always case by case and will vary greatly based on things like country of origin/race/ethnicity, country immigrated to, initial socioeconomic status, time period, etc. And even among diaspora, people can and will have vastly different experiences, and it’s not good to generalize. These are just some thoughts with one example.**

1. Waves of Immigration

Depending on when people arrive, they’ve got different push/pull factors drawing them to a country and it also factors into how the nation feels about them and vice versa... Chinese immigration to the US has mostly two major waves (you could also say there were 3, counting the post-WWII/Communist China wave, but I won’t talk about that): one in the mid 1800s and the other after the 1970s/1980s into modern day; the gap is because the Chinese Exclusion Act (1882) that banned most immigration from China wasn’t repealed until 1943 (because of Japan’s attack on the US in WWII, the US needed China as an ally).

IMMIGRATION WAVE 1: MID 1800s

These immigrants were mostly from southern China (Canton area), and they came to the US because of hard times (Opium Wars + political instability because of things like the Taiping Rebellion) and economic opportunity in the West (eg. Gold Rush (San Francisco is literally “Old Gold Mountain” in Chinese today) + industrialization, railroads, expansion etc.). There was Much Discrimination against those immigrants, and many worked as hard laborers in a variety of occupations (on railroads, gold mine, farms (in the South esp), laundry businesses; there were merchants as well, but they were the minority); many were looking to get some money that they could send back to their families in China and planned to return, but over time, they settled down and stayed. I think for those immigrants, Yao would definitely be understanding, even if he might not be empathetic. After all, he’s not thriving at that time either, and although he thinks Alfred is inferior to him (in many ways), he understands why people would be drawn by economic promise and quick wealth, even if it might not be the best strategy for getting rich. It’s not like staying in China would be better lmao. However, I don’t think he would approve (?) how many of his immigrants stayed in the US when most viewed it as a temporary move; I think Yao is very surprised by how so many of them persisted to carve out a home there, despite the discrimination and limited opportunities. Perhaps he admires their resilience, the creation of Chinatowns and community and how they still come to a country that doesn’t even let them in (see the San Francisco Fire of 1906 and the boon for paper sons), but still wishes they would come back, however unlikely that hope is. Personally, Yao would never be able to stay in Alfred’s country, the beautiful country, if Alfred’s hypocrisy prevented his experience, his immigrant’s experience, from being anything close to beautiful. (You were founded by immigrants and foreigners, but now you spurn them: the poor sojourners who continue to flee to your shores, and refuse them respite from the disasters at home.) And anyways, Alfred is just the next scrappy young upstart, barely 70 years old but with a swagger like he rules the world; how could he have something over himself, the Middle Kingdom, who has stood the test of time? (Admittedly, he’s doing nowhere as well as Alfred—even he can see that, despite his pride, and despite the haze of opium in his brain. Leaving is the logical, objectively sound choice. Still, his pride hurts vaguely when he thinks how his immigrants keep choosing a country that keeps rejecting them, over and over again, instead of himself. But it is no matter. The injury to his ego is inconsequential and easily brushed aside; for they are still his people, and they deserve a good life, wherever they are. His distaste for Alfred flares up again: Arthur’s bastard child, who takes advantage of his trade (see the Open Door Notes, 1899-1900), but refuses his people.)

if anyone wants more context or is interested in the history I mentioned, I highly recommend this pdf (from the book A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America by Ronald Takaki)

IMMIGRATION FROM 1949 TO 1980: according to Wikipedia, there was very little immigration from mainland China during this period due to the Cold War and China becoming Communist; most of the immigration was from Taiwan/ROC but counted in the quota for China. Since there’s a separate Hetalia personification for TWN, I’m not going to go over that. However, there were also many people from Mainland China who escaped to Hong Kong, still a British colony, during that period (I hope it’s clear why, but if anyone asks I’ll put it in a separate post); some stayed there, while others emigrated to the US; both trips were for more freedoms and a better life etc because China was really really messed up for a bit (also keep in mind the people emigrating all had the means to and were at least middle class, usually somewhat educated, etc.). I will not be talking about that group either because I don’t think it’s my place to, but please know they exist as well.

IMMIGRANT WAVE 2: 1980s ONWARD

A lot of people came from mainland China for education; there was also an. exodus of intellectuals following 1989 (which I Will Not get into). Many of these people sought job opportunities, like those that rapidly opened up in the computer industry, there are many students who come here to study abroad, who take SATs and TOEFLs to get into good US colleges or to conduct graduate research and get PhDs; some stay, others have gone back to like, advance China’s development (this sentiment of getting good students to go abroad and then go back to China to use their talents for Patriotic Purposes isn’t a new thing, stretches back to like the late 1800s). I don’t really have much to say about this group besides what’s below ↓.

2. Immigrant Thoughts On Their Home Country

more complicated, because it varies by generation and time period and probably 203943 other things. Mainlanders that came over starting in the 1990s till now have relatively positive feelings towards China (imo, extrapolating from my life experiences); I think part of that is also because most* of these immigrants aren’t really escaping from something? They’re coming for an education/job opportunities (students studying abroad in the US (留学生 or liuxuesheng) for graduate school or university come to mind as one example), and they’re still very much connected to China politically and culturally, sometimes* more so than to the US. For these immigrants, I think Yao doesn’t worry too much about them? They’re pretty successful* overall*, and discrimination, although still A Large Problem™, isn’t the same from stuff that Yao (or his immigrants) remember from, say the mid 1800s (see above), or even during the paranoia about Communists after WWII and the subsequent Chinese Confession Program that made many people really scared of being deported. (Red China made Chinese Americans a target of the Communist panic, and the confession program was instated in order to make sure Communist spies couldn’t infiltrate the US. Those who immigrated illegally could confess that and gain citizenship; however you also had to weed out everyone you knew who also immigrated illegally.) I think Yao would see them as an extension of himself in a different land; they’re very much still part of him, and he gives them his well wishes.

However, I think that immigrants born in the US in modern day at least (1990s onwards) are definitely more ambivalent about China’s legacy + modern day Issues™, as much as we are connected via culture and heritage. Not quite sure how Yao would feel about that, because I’m not quite sure how much Yao is the state and how much he represents the people. However, I think there would be some mutual unease; does he see this as betrayal of some kind? Perhaps he doesn’t blame us for feeling as we do? Maybe he wonders what we feel about him; maybe he doesn’t want to know. Maybe he chooses the easier route: to focus on the bonds between him and his huayi instead of the grievances, and leave the rest unsaid.

Additionally with first gen immigrants, there’s the conflicting feeling of being stuck between two worlds and value systems that oppose each other in many respects. Also there’s sometimes a feeling of not-quite-being-in-touch-with-your-culture (in other diaspora as well, ofc. here it’s often exemplified by forgetting or not knowing how to read and write Chinese proficiently, among other things 🙃); idk. does Yao see that as a bit of a disappointment? Would he wish us to try harder? Does he view it as inevitable, for those raised in the US; the environment is too different, and perhaps he won’t blame us for those differences, or shortcomings. Does Yao know, or care, about the racism? What about his immigrants who try to assimilate completely into American culture, who try to erase the Chinese part of their identity? Those that have tried it, but regretted it? Are they still his, when they have tried rejecting their connection to him, choosing to drop the “Chinese” from Chinese American? Does he consider racism when thinking about them? What about international adoptees? Does he claim them, when some have not been raised in a culturally Chinese environment, and when it’s still a sensitive subject on both sides of the ocean? I don’t have answers to many of these questions.

There are also immigrants who fled China because of war or persecution or upheaval, (one example is with regards to the Cultural Revolution), but I don’t feel qualified to discuss it here, and I don’t want to take it lightly.

But, despite everything I’ve discussed above, I’d like to think that however an immigrant feels about their home country or however long they’ve been there, all nation personifications would still wish them a better life (even Yao). I mean, it’s not always easy being an immigrant/part of a diaspora (especially when race becomes a factor). I really don’t think any of the hetalia characters would say “look at your struggles. What a mistake it was to immigrate somewhere where you still face so many challenges, although they might be different from the ones back home”. that’s just No. Also, I think that when you disregard sentimentality and their inherent connection to the people, countries would still be able to sympathize with people trying to strive for better, you know? People immigrate for a better life, whether it’s because it was getting rough when they left or because other places had more potential, and like. although nation-people can’t leave their own country, I think they understand the people who do, because it’s a chance to make a new life, and it would be unkind, counterproductive, limiting, to prevent someone from taking that opportunity if it came. And their children, and grandchildren; they are still connected to their origins even in a new country, by blood if nothing else, and nations are people too; they must have some sentimentality for their people born in a different land. I’d like to think that if Yao met a Chinese American kid running around San Francisco’s Chinatown, or bumped into an ABC high schooler in a well to do Massachusetts suburb, he’d stop and nod and maybe say hello, and wish them luck, wherever they go in the future. After all, they are the products of his immigrant’s hopes and dreams, and they are his too, as much as they live in Alfred’s land.

* (asterisks): this is a) from my experience and research; not everyone will have the same experiences! please keep this in mind and don’t generalize a very vast group of people. :)

Idk if that was too sentimental or rambly or something, but yeah, those are some of the things I consider when I think about nations and their diasporas. If you made it down here, thanks for reading! I greatly appreciate it. Also I hope I got all my facts correct, but if anyone spots anything incorrect, especially regarding the post 1980s immigration wave, please tell me! Tried doing my research but there are still a few things I’m unsure about rip.

This might be deleted tomorrow because I’m feeling weird about it, but feel free to reblog! I’d also very much love some feedback too if any of y’all are feeling up to it

#i was thinking about a lot of this when writing the zine fic so this post is partially an extension of that #hws china #aph china #musings #hetalia #nation lore #hws #aph #aph china headcanons #hetalia worldbuilding #headcanon musings #hetalia headcanons #I GUESS??

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