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#mentions of natasha
sofiaherzen · 1 year
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POKER FACE 1x04: Rest in Metal
bonus:
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And they were… in trouble
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A/n: To get the full experience of this chapter it’s probably best to read part 3 before reading this 😊
Part 3: And they were…lovers. Wait really??
Part 2: And they were…strangers
Part 1: And they were…roommates
Summary: the arguments continue, will they ever solve them? Probably not because they can’t communicate even with Lokis dream
Words: 2K +
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI angst and sadness, no real reconciliation in this chapter, blood mentions
When Wanda left the house she saw you standing outside the car looking at the ground
“I don’t want to go home yet” Wanda said refusing to get into the car “please Wanda I don’t want to argue let’s just get you home” you got into the car waiting for Wanda but when she just stood there with her arms crossed you rolled your eyes and got back out of the car
“Why are you doing this?”
“You still want me” she said and you rolled your eyes “of course I still want you I mean look at you, even with no sleep, probably a little hungover and the same outfit on as yesterday, I would push you against the wall and bury my head between your thighs and devour you until you tried pushing me away
Wanda gasped “do it then, right now up against the wall between these houses” you approached her holding her waist tight and went to kiss her but pulled away at the last minute “no, now get in the fucking car Wanda, you need to sleep for your classes tomorrow”
Wanda was the one to push you away now “forget it, I’m not getting into the car with you if you’re going to act like this!”
She walked off into the direction she thought was correct, she actually didn’t care she just wanted to leave and you didn’t chase after her, you let your eyes close thinking about everything, fuck-
Loki pushed you to the ground suddenly and you jumped back up throwing him a small dagger hitting him in the neck “what’s your fucking problem?!”
The man discarded the dagger crushing it and throwing it to the ground “I know you saw my dream for you, you saw the exact same thing as Wanda and when she woke up she was thankful, you’re just being an asshole about it!”
“Maybe I don’t appreciate you interrupting my sleep for a stupid teenage fantasy”
Loki scoffed “you loved the dream, I saw you smiling and giggling through certain parts, why are you being so stubborn?”
You eyes darkened to their red colour and you glared at the man “maybe I’ve just realised that being here on earth living with a human in a shitty apartment isn’t what I wanted to do in my death”
Loki laughed pushing you to the ground again “don’t make me laugh, that sappy talk you had with Wanda last night ‘oh I’ve loved you ever since I saw you and when I told you I was a demon and you didn’t run away’ makes me sick, get a fucking grip Y/n either date her and be a happy little demon housewife or finally leave her alone for good”
You were pissed off, who was he to tell you how to live your death and how to be with Wanda, she wasn’t any of his business “go fuck yourself! And don’t you dare mention Wanda again!” You stood up and stormed off into the forest away from Loki
“You need to make up your damn mind!” He shouted to you not that you were paying attention
*************************************************
You were deep enough in the forest now knowing no one would be around or if they were they wouldn’t be for long. Letting yourself kneel to the ground and close your eyes you felt it, the snapping of your spine and feeling the wings emerge from your back, blood running down your back, the feeling of your wings stretching and finally being free after so long
You stood up enjoying the feeling of your wings being free and you let out a happy sigh “oh I’ve missed this” your head throbbed and tore open revealing your spiralling horns
“I’ve missed being a real demon” your mind fogged and you felt all the pain and sadness disappear from your body and you’d never felt more alive, you needed to find someone, you needed to find Valkyrie and have the fun that you deserve.
************************************************
“Y/n?” Lucifer eyed you nervously as you entered the club in your demon form, knowing it hadn’t happened in a while “are you feeling some big feelings? Do we need to have a grown up talk and work out some anger?”
You laughed pushing through the devil and going to the other woman at the bar “hi Val”
“Y/n, you’re looking good” she pulled you into her lap “where’s Carol?” You didn’t really care but you thought it would be pleasant to ask “she’s in hell for a few months so I’m all lonely up here, just waiting for a winged demon with a dark desire in her eyes to take care of me”
You laughed “well here I am, come on I want to go hunting before I devour you, nice and blooded for me” your mouths met in a hot kiss and you groaned finally being kissed properly by a demon and not those plain humans you’ve been kissing but your good time was soon interrupted
“As erotic and as sexual as this is what the fuck is going on?”
You turned your head towards the king of hell “I missed being a demon, now are you coming hunting or are you just being a boring bastard?”
He fake gasped “how dare you of course I want to come hunting, nice to have my favourite demon back”
*********************************************
Wanda had managed to make it home but she didn’t want to go into the house, Natasha had left a note on the door telling her that she’d cleaned up as best she could and ordered her some hangover pizza.
So she lay on the grass outside the house looking up at the sky letting out a really heavy sigh, filled with so much emotion “maybe I should leave her alone, I’ll give her space”
You were interrupted by a rustling in the trees, a figure appearing, was it an animal? Wanda tried making it out and when she did her eyes widened
“What the-Y/n?!”
Wanda jumped back away from you and looked over your monstrous form, the horns, the wings and the blood dripping like rain droplets from your body, she’d never seen you like this
“Oh what a lovely lady you are, Y/n was right you look delicious” Wanda didn’t have time to react before the woman pinned her back down onto her back and looked at you.
“Go on Y/n I’ve got her pinned down she’s not going anywhere, take a drink like you’ve always wanted” Valkyrie had Wanda’s hands held together and even though Wanda was kicking with her legs all you had to do was straddle her to keep her still, so you did, leaning all your weight on her and smiling as some blood dripped onto her body
“Y-Y/n p-please, please don’t hurt me” she tried searching your eyes for any hesitation or remorse but there was nothing, just an empty sea of darkness
“You’ve hurt me so why shouldn’t I hurt you?” The deep gravely voice scared Wanda, yes you were a demon and yes she’d seen you angry but this was a whole new approach that scared her
“I’m sorry for hurting you Y/n please I do want to be with you! Please let’s just figure things out-
“Stop!” Your had enough, you’d had enough of everything she was saying and doing and you were going to take what you deserved
Leaning down to her face your hand gripped her chin pushing her face to side exposing her gorgeous neck, running your fangs over her pulse point made you vibrate, it was so exciting, so you sunk your fangs into her neck her blood filling your mouth and senses and fuck was it wonderful! She was delicious, she’d stopped thrashing and Valkyrie had let go of her hands coming next to you kissing your neck
“vos vultus calidum amica”
When you finally released the grip you had on Wanda you lifted your head and saw Wanda’s face, her pale weak face, oh god what had you done, the fog covering your mind clearing at the worse possible moment
You glared down at what you’d just done, you’d bitten Wanda, you’d taken her blood and now you were watching her slip into unconsciousness, no no! This wasn’t meant to happen you’d never hurt Wanda, even with everything that had happened you didn’t want to hurt her! Or did you? You were just angry and confused on what was going on you weren’t thinking straight
Quickly jumping off of her body and snatching her hands away from Val you picked her up and cradled her in your arms “Wanda Wanda please forgive I didn’t mean to hurt you I never wanted to hurt you like this I’m sorry I’m so so sorry, wake up please wake up”
The demon had never seen you so vulnerable before, in tears over a human, sure she’d heard the stories of you essentially becoming “soft” for the human but never like this “Y/n? Maybe we should take her to the hospital?”
You shook your head gently as if not to wake Wanda “and say What? Here’s a girl and she was bitten by a demon? Oh no its okay no need to file a report I’m the one that did it here have my teeth pictures, no I need to get her to the club, Dr banner will come and fix her”
“He’s not a human doctor-
“Doesn’t matter! I say he’ll fix her so he will!” You held Wanda close as Valkyrie held you both transporting back to the club
**************************************************
“I I don’t know what you want me to do Y/n I can’t fix an human, you’ve bitten her so she’ll probably wake up on her own-
“Leave” you whispered, Bruce, Valkyrie and Lucifer didn’t move
“Leave!” You shouted and the trio quickly left the room, you looked back at Wanda and noticed her shivering “oh my love I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for everything I’m an idiot I saw the dream that Loki made too and I loved it, I loved the build a bear thing that happened and the stupid little name buddy we gave him I-I can’t think of anything to say to help, just please wake up”
Obviously she didn’t wake up but you stayed with her, you refused to leave her side, it was only a couple of hours later when you woke up to some shuffling proving that she woke up “Wanda!”
You smiled but that smile quickly disappeared seeing Wanda’s scared face “Wanda? It’s me you’re safe”
“You bit me, you forcefully sucked my blood” her speech was slow and uneven but her words still hurt you “I-I’m sorry Wanda I was just so angry and confused my demon form took over and I couldn’t stop it” you tried coming closer to Wanda but she stood up from the bed still disoriented but she refused to let you see that
“I saw the dream too Wanda I saw everything-
“Stop. I heard you while I was unconscious, it doesn’t matter, I’m done, I can’t keep dealing with you, I can’t keep trying to be with you when you’re being so stubborn and unreasonable- just I’m going to my parents for a few weeks, they may not approve of most of my decisions but at least they don’t try and fucking kill me”
She left the room and you didn’t try and follow her knowing full well she wouldn’t want you too
Yep you’d definitely fucked all that up, maybe some time would help Wanda
*******************************************
“Wanda you don’t look so good” Natasha had picked Wanda up and per her request was driving her to the train station to go to her parents
Wanda shrugged “I’ve not slept and feeling down, of course I don’t look good
Nat didn’t respond to her angry quip and instead drove in silence finally reaching the station and getting out of the car waiting for Wanda
“Sorry Nat I’m just really stressed0
Nat shrugged “it’s okay you’ve had a bit of a rough time”
Wanda agreed “yeah it’s been terrible, but I hope it’ll get better”
*****************************************************
“Y/n you look terrible” lucifer casually mention as you flopped down onto his couch “yeah well it’s been a fucking rough week alright? So fuck off”
Your head suddenly started to throb and forced you to sit up and grip your head you heard screaming in your head, was it Wanda? Wanda was shouting for you?
“She’s shouting because you bit her and she’s strayed far from you, she’s bound to you forever now, really fucked up there didn’t you?” Lucifer laughed and you groaned
“She’s in so much pain, I’ve never felt pain like it, even my death wasn’t this bad”
“Go after her then, trust me if you leave it the pain will get worse”
************************************************
“Wanda!” Natasha rushed to her side as she threw up on the ground in front of her “Wanda are you okay?!”
The woman shook her head “I need Y/n”
“What?”
“I need Y/n! Fuck it’s hurts so much” her throat was on fire, she didn’t know why she wanted you but in her mind only you could fix her problems, only you could save her, at least that’s what her brain was telling her
Nat looked around in the nearly empty space and spotted a few people trying to hide from helping but then her eyes landed on you, you were here?? How? Did you know she was in pain?
“Nat give me Wanda” the girl shook her head “she said she didn’t want you”
You looked at Wanda who when she finally looked up at you nearly kept out of Nat’s arms “Y/n! Please I need you I don’t know what’s going on but I need to be with you”
“Nat please I don’t want to make a scene, give me Wanda before she collapses okay?”
Nat nodded and handed Wanda to you who wrapped herself around you like a spider monkey finally stopping crying and began falling asleep
“Nat go home, I promise to take care of her, drive safe”
You didn’t wait for an answer and just left with Wanda kissing her forehead “I’m so sorry again Wanda and I’m really sorry for what’s going to happen when you wake up”
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booasaur · 1 year
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Station 19 - 6x17
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incorrect quotes 13/? Daggers edition
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nocek · 1 year
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It only took about 1,5 month but colors are done!
But in my defense in that 1,5 month I managed to change jobs which was stressful af and then catch a nasty cold on my second day at new job which was annoying af with it's perfect timing :D
anyway here is clear lineart version and here is previous picture in the series (of two pictures lol) with the sketch for this one
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comickergirl · 7 months
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#Kryptober Day 5 - Natasha Irons
IDK my allergies are killing me I might come back and redo this XD
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wiltkingart · 4 months
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I'm queer Russian diaspora and if you have any queer Russian lit recs that would be so awesome!
the only one ive read personally is Spring in Siberia by artem mozgovoy! it came out last year and the author himself is a gay russian man who escaped russia several years ago. i wrote my thoughts about it here and strongly recommend it. it definitely fucked me up big time but im so glad it exists, and was able to exist in this world.
i can also mention The Half Life of Valery K because i found it fun (and fucked up) too, but the author isnt russian and i had some issues with the ending, and the way some things came across. but. i still really liked it overall if you want a nuclear soviet gay romance
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laracrofted · 5 months
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TGM Wrapped: Natasha Trace (x)
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trikruismybitch · 2 years
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*Kate and Y/n arguing about y/n not wanting to ask somebody out bc wanda*
Wanda (annoyed/ frustrated) : Oh my god, how many times do i have to say it? I dont care who you date, we broke up! *she waves her arm around* Ask out any girl you want.
Kate: See! I said you should have asked out Natasha!
Wanda *red eyes*: NATASHA?!
Y/n *placatingly*: Wanda....
Wanda: I KNEW IT!
Wanda: I KNEW! two years ago when you went on that stupid mission with her!
*Kate slowly backing away & removing herself*
Wandai: and Natasha was always like "Oh Y/n why don't you come and train with me"
Wanda: "Oh y/n i bought some coffee"
Y/n: Natasha brings everyone coffee!
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feroluce · 13 days
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Lucid Dreamer (2/2)
part 1
Gepard stalls almost a week before he finally goes out to the safehouse, and it takes him a couple days to find it because Sampo didn't have the time left to be wasn't super specific about the location. But he does find it.
It's pretty bare bones, really. Gepard knows that was probably to be expected, but… It feels crushing, when he realizes there are so few personal things here. It's nothing specific to Sampo. Just some food, some medical supplies. A cot and a heater and a lot of mismatched blankets. Nothing to remember someone by.
But he does find the letters, in a metal box stashed away under the bed.
There are two for him. Three for Natasha, and two for Seele. One for Hook, one for Serval, one for Pela, one for Bronya.
Bronya's is mostly business. They knew each other from the whole Stellaron incident, but not much beyond that, and the incoming catastrophe is a more pressing matter. Seele's is actually two copies of the same letter, and Gepard realizes why when Seele is so angry she rips the first one up without reading it. He gives her the copy a couple days later, and she slinks off without a word.
Pela seems completely normal after hers is delivered, but Gepard knows better than to trust that. The next day, he finds her asleep in bed with Serval, bottles abandoned on the floor, both their eye makeup smeared and running and Pela's glasses horribly smudged and crooked on her face. Serval doesn't read hers in front of him, but she's clingy with Gepard, Pela, and Lynx for quite a while after. She throws herself into her work a lot. She insists the heater from the safehouse is busted and she needs to keep it. It's too dangerous for use by someone who's not an engineer. Might burn their house down or something. Gepard doesn't argue.
Hook's letter is short, with easy to read words. The rest of it is actually a treasure map, and she and the moles spend the next several days running through the Underground, finding hidden candy and toys. Hook asks them when Sampo is coming back, because one of the marbles she found from his map looks green, just like his eyes, and she wants to give it to him. Natasha shoos Gepard out of the clinic before he can even begin to think of an answer.
Natasha refuses to let him see what's in her letters, which ok, fine, he'll respect that. He hears from Bronya who heard from Seele who heard from Natasha herself though that one of the letters was a map and the other a catalogue, with all of Sampo's hidden "warehouses." Gepard promptly marches himself back out to the frontlines, where he can turn a blind eye. If a ton of stolen goods suddenly enters the black market, and if the orphanage and the clinic suddenly have new supplies, well, technically that's none of his business.
Gepard goes to bed, curls up under mismatched blankets and closes his eyes.
He doesn't dream.
One of Gepard's letters was also business, like Bronya's and Natasha's. He and Bronya follow everything meticulously, down to the letter, because there has to be some good to get out of all this, there has to be. Gepard can't let it all be for nothing, it would bury him.
And so the catastrophe passes. Not without casualties, and not without a lot of damage and destruction. But Belobog survives.
And after that, time just kind of…goes on. Gepard has been a part of the Silvermanes since he was old enough to enlist. The Fragmentum had gotten so much worse in the years before Welt sealed the Stellaron. He knows the statistics, it is literally his and Pela's jobs to keep track. He knows when he sees a face everyday in the camps and then it's suddenly gone. He's not unfamiliar with things like grief and loss.
He still catches himself checking the trashcans and the supply crates and soldiers' footprints sometimes, though.
But there comes a night where Gepard goes to bed, holding the mismatched blankets to his face, and he dreams. And it's strange, it's off, it sticks with him. Sampo doesn't look the same. He's thinner. His muscles have atrophied. He looks like how Gepard has seen soldiers after months in the hospital.
The most unsettling difference is there's a scar across the left side of his head, Gepard can see it over his ear, peeking out past his hairline, carving towards his cheek. Sampo is always careful about his face. Gepard once saw him dodge a Fragmentum monster and literally let it cut across his neck just to keep his face clear. He wouldn't let that happen for nothing.
Their actions in the dream itself aren't new. Sampo seems tired, run down and worn out, but he announces his presence with aplomb by lobbing a bunch of smoke bombs off the rooftops and sending his soldiers scrambling. Same shit, different day.
The new part is what he says when Gepard chases him out to the edges of the camp, tackles him into the snow. Gepard pins him to the frozen ground to detain him and Sampo doesn't even fight it, just looks up at him like he's seeing sunrise for the first time in months.
"I'll be home in one week."
#sampard#gepo#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#gepard landau#sampo koski#hsr natasha#pelageya sergeyevna#serval landau#bronya rand#hsr seele#hsr hook#honkai star rail#my fics#lucid dreamer#I was initially just going to let Sampo stay dead because I love that kind of thing#but I ended up liking this ending so I guess I'll let it stay haha#I love thinking about Sampo's relationships with the rest of the cast and their reactions to all this#he was a founding member of Mechanical Fever. he still plays shows with Pela and Serval.#Pela is constantly giving him second chances like in the museum event and letting him volunteer with the Silvermanes.#And Serval could say SO much about him but all she says is 'hah that guy' and mentions Gepard is going to catch him someday.#I need the three of them to be a weird trio of buddies fdksaljfdkl#Sampo is seen with Seele plenty and he's with Natasha so much that Hook literally thought he was horribly ill for a long time.#I love them having some kind of odd comraderie#and oh my god I am the biggest Hook & Sampo stan ever they're so so cute and sweet and precious and WAH#so I think Sampo would want to be prepared for just in case he didn't make it back. that he would have a contingency plan for everything.#and he would miss these people and this city enough to show up in their dreams one last time.#but I'd like to think he saved Gepard for last#and it is not just because he has a crush or any kind of romantic feelings for him. There's more to it than that.#(If I'm being super honest I don't even really ship them with romance involved. I have a hard time picturing them like that.)
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vs120shound · 5 months
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Natasha Marley, of Russian heritage, was a vision with Marlboro 100s and Virginia Slims 120s Luxury Lights Menthols and Non-Menthols!
VIDEO OF THE WEEK 🚬 🚬 (SF HALL OF FAME) 🚬 NUMBER 10 IN THE SERIES!
For the Week of 103023-110523
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ | Four-and-a-Half "Stars"
From vs120shound staff | ★★★★★ (13 total: L)
Dual-Media 9-Post, 33-Pack Megapost!
Pretty Blonde with VS120s Luxury Lights Menthols!
Natasha Marley: A Vision of Pure Beauty!
Natasha Marley, who grew up in the U.K. of Russian parents, is one of the prettiest women in the Greater SF World Community scene. We say she is among the 10 prettiest SF Models/SF Entrepreneurs/Social Media Smoking Darlings-Social Network Cigarette Girls. She landed at No. 23 on our "unofficial" official Top-25 all-time favorite SF models list published on vs120shound released in January 2023. That was too low on the list, ought to have been higher, we proclaim in hindsight (Ah! 20/20 vision in retrospect!). Expect to see her in the Top-15 the next time we get around to re-compiling "The List" many months or a couple of years from now. We'll let you digest this Video of The Week | Hall of Fame division post to assess and rate her beauty and smoking style/power as you feel, as you see fit, as how it strikes your fancy. We simply adore her look, style, elegance and classiness!
. . . well, Ms. Marley, now a mother of two young children and retired from the public eye, was one of the more prolific SF models on the Smoking-Models (U.K.) family of SF websites. She appeared in 29 projects, 17 on Smoking-Models and 12 for www.ElegantSmoking.com. Her term with S-M began on September 14, 2009 and finished on June 1, 2020 -- and we believe those are dates of the videos' release not filming or completion of production -- and her career with ElegantSmoking started on July 31, 2009 and ended on April 9, 2020.
Her Instagram account, IG@therealnatashamarley, nearly has been scrubbed clean of any evidence of her smoking. The informed guess is that she has left cigarettes behind for a healthier lifestyle and to be a better role model for her young, impressionable children. One image remains and that is an IG@smoking_temptresses post that was added, ostensibly by Natasha or the folk(s) running her IG page. Kind of stick out now, we'd say. Cannot pretend the past did not exist. It can be revisited and changes can be made in lifestyle, career and life paths from what was experienced and learned during someone's past. Could be the case here.
This is a grand Megapost! effort by us. Several others of them on our brand have had more packs but this is the most content. What is a pack exactly (not done elsewhere and we've never explained, so here goes . . . )?
A pack for our purposes is an SF image, and there are three kinds -- GIF; photograph; video. A "post" is also a pack but, of course, it almost never is one image, ordinarily several or many but not exceeding 30 photos because that's the tumblr maximum.
It might be nice to see others in the tumblr SF-Content posting realm move forward with such an approach but that is unlikely. We're fine with the standard, traditional one-photo or one-video or one-GIF style the everyone else employs; we continue to do it ourselves but rarely nowadays. We love the great SF blogs/vlogs/webpages on tumblr, from which we re-blog mostly now on vs120shound-2. Our favorites -- and we realize some of you who follow us are aware of our preferences -- seem to be recently thelibrarian120, gomerianworld, smokingscholar, rtpsmk, qwerty53421, thesmokegod (zeusbabes) and blackmaca13, to name a likely Top-7 for us. Those wonderful pages are one photo or one video or one GIF. And they are sensational, extraordinary at it. And there is a lot creativity out there, just not Megaposts!, which take a lot of time to prepare, produce and publish. We're fine with that. We are comfortable with it. It works for us. We do this for you all ("y'all" . . . lived in Texas for 18 months) and for us, for our entertainment.
Speaking of our favorite tumblr SF blogs . . . we thank smokingscholar whose post is "re-blogged" in our style for our VOTW | Hall of Fame division post here today! That post from "The Scholar" on April 27, 2023 has received 267 positive responses, likes/re-blogs thus far! That video we've seen before but in an edited down version, so it was a treat for us to see at full length. Hope you enjoy.
THE MEDIA!
Natasha Marley on YouTube!
From YT's "smoking girl" webpage, with Jenna Hoskins, in 2018 . . .
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The 'Super' Re-Blogged Post from 'The Scholar!'
From vs120shound on April 27, 2023 . . .
Natasha Marley Posts on Our Network!
From lostlighter23 on June 27, 2023 (Photo of The Day) . . .
From vs120shound on August 31, 2023 . . .
From vs120shound on January 5, 2023 ("The List" -- Top-25 all-time favorite SF models, No. 23) . . .
From vs120shound on November 7, 2022, in a re-blog from a post by blackmaca13 . . .
From vs120shound on August 20, 2022 . . .
From vs120shound on August 15, 2023 (leading off the first two spots in a photo assortment of various SF models/actresses . . .
From vs120shound on June 21, 2022 (leading off another assortment compilation) . . .
From vs120shound on March 9, 2022, a re-blog from a post by thesmokegod . . .
Natasha Marley Nowadays!
From Instagram@therealnatashamarley on March 19, 2023 . . .
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Video from IG@smoking_temptresses on December 16, 2022 . . .
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ANCHOR PHOTO OF NATASHA MARLEY!
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This VOTW | Hall of Fame division post is being published on December 6, 2023 at 11:12 a.m. EST. It was produced on Dec. 4-6, 2023 over a period of five-and-a-half hours but was well worth the planning, effort and energy! Thanks for your support and interest in our "work!"
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oaxleaf · 2 months
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i do feel like pulley makes a conscious choice, whilst she typically acknowledges the homophobia that would be present in a period setting, to not make it a significant plot point or to have too much angst surrounding it, which i very much appreciate. sometimes you can put queer people in fun historical settings and let them be miserable for reasons other than being queer. simultaneously, i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the themes of heteronormativity in thlovk. because those are not necessarily the same thing? i’m lucky enough to not have experienced much in-person homophobia, but by god does hetero- and cisnormativity prevail no matter how progressive of a place you live in.
so yeah, the way valery talks about things like marriage and family really resonates. the pretty much presumed loneliness, the notion that if you don’t settle down with your opposite-sex partner and have a bunch of kids then you’ll end up sad and uncared for. and whilst homophobia is mentioned and relevant (though more so when it comes to shenkov), heteronormativity is the real insidious attitude in the novel. how valery himself, throughout the entierty of the novel, keeps presuming that he’ll always lie farthest down on the list of people shenkov cares about, because the straight nuclear family promotes the idea that love and caring is a limited resource in a person when it really isn’t, and that a romantic, heterosexually married spouse will always take the automatic highest priority, followed by ones biological children, and that there even needs to be a hierarchy. valery’s insecurities are not about being queer, but it’s about the things everybody assumes you’ll never have just because of your queerness. and i appreciate an exploration of the struggles of queer identity that go deeper than the risk of hatred and homophobia
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angelyuji · 2 years
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flirting and kissing
natasha romanoff x gn!reader
“that’s why i don’t shop there anymore. they don’t have anything cute anyway, to be honest, but everything was so cheap.” natasha stares at your lips as you pout, reminiscing about some story. she was trying to focus on what you’re saying, but something about you was distracting her. “nat?” maybe it was the way your forehead creased and your eyebrows furrowed. it reminded of her of a small puppy. “hello??” maybe it was the way your eyes sparkled about whatever you talk about. so pretty and big. she wanted to stare into your eyes forever. “natasta?” she blinks and realizes how far her mind was. you sit, cross-legged, across from her on the couch, turned to face her.
“sorry, i-”
you giggle, “don’t worry about it, i’ve been talking too much anyway. i was probably boring you.”
“no! no, you could never bore me!” she grabs your hand and squeezes. you stare at her, startled. her eyes widen and, quickly, she lets go of you. “keep talking, i like your stories.” she turns away, she feels a blush run up her face.
“o-oh okay, anyway-” you start talking once more, but natasha couldn’t focus. embarrassed, she couldn’t find it in herself to look at you. “natasha.” you call out to her, your voice stern. she looks at you, resigned. “what’s up with you?” you ask, concerned.
something in her melts at the softness in your voice, “i used to be really good at this.” she gestured between her and you. you tilt your head, all puppy-like, in confusion. you start to ask what she means when she continues, “god, i really really like you. and i don’t know how to make it stop cause you deserve someone better, someone less… damaged.” her voice breaks, and she feels hot tears start to stream down her face. it takes her back to bruce and steve and every person that she’s ever tried to love. “i’ve always been too damaged, too broken, too scarred, too-” the sob stuck in her throat breaks her sentence. natasha looks away, not wanting you to see her like this.
“nat…” she feels your palm on her cheek, cradling her face. she leans into it and you gently turn her head towards you. both your hands cradle her face as you both sit an inch apart. tears continue to fall and her eyes trail to your lips. you lean in and your lips press. she pulls you in by the waist. she kisses you like you’ll disappear if she stops. you kiss back with the same urgency. her hands tight around your waist and you sit on her lap. your hands pulling her face against yours. you pull away and natasha chases after you. with a small smile, you rest your forehead against hers. she sighs.
“you are not unlovable. you are a warrior, a hero. you deserve the world and the sun and the moon. and, dare i say it, the whole universe.” you take your hands off her and gesture wildly. natasha smiles and you start to wipe her tears. she leans into your touch. “i like you too, you know. i really, really, really like you.” she pulls you closer, your head falls onto her shoulder. she leans her cheek on your head.
she lets out a wet chuckle, “i swear, i used to be really good at flirting.”
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wrotethisat12 · 8 months
Text
Cleaning up
pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader
Tw: sh, blood, guilt. Nothing is mentioned graphically except the blood (slightly).
Please to not read this if it might make you relapse! My dms are open if you need to talk <3
AoU Natasha >>>>>
(except the Bruce thing)
“y/n!” Natasha yelled as she rushed to the bathtub. “Baby. Baby, how deep.” Her voice was laced with worry and slight panic. She put her hands on either one of your cheeks, and you could feel them shaking.
“n-not very deep,” you said, and she sighed with relief. Her eyes were flushed with worry and looking at you to confirm your point. You took a towel and started wiping the blood off, but she stopped you and started running the bath water. She changed the temperature from hot to medium-cold, as she knew that was the one that sting your cuts the least. You watched her, admiring her short red hair although it was not what you should be doing at this moment and it was slightly weird, and she rolled her eyes at you playfully when she realized.
Despite the joking that had lightened the mood, her lips were tightly pressed together and her hands still shaking. You wanted to reach out and comfort her, but were afraid of freaking her out as your own hands were covered in your blood.
She turned the tap water off and poured some soap into her hand- you had used it before, it didn’t sting- and started gently rubbing it across your thighs until all of the blood was gone. Then, she washed over everywhere else the blood had gotten, a bit less gently.
When you got out of the tub, you wrapped yourself in a dark- colored towel and sat down on the edge of the tub when you were dry. Per your routine, Natasha bandaged up your legs and put disinfectants on the cuts.
Then the tears started flowing. “I-I’m so sorry, I know I promised, a-and I was almost to fourty days, I-” Natasha hugged you.
“shh, baby, it’s gonna be okay, we can make it back to thirty-six, okay? I know that you’re strong and I know that you can do this, and you can come to me next time you feel like this. Okay?”
You nodded and buried your head in her shirt. She carried you to bed, and the two of you fell asleep, ready to make 36 days again.
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wandaspetal · 1 year
Text
Breaking Point
𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: Breaking Point
𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: Marvel/MCU
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫(𝐬)/𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩(𝐬): Wanda Maximoff x Reader
𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞: N/A
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 850
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Yelling, arguing, break up, toxic Wanda, toxic-ish Reader, Angst
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are done ripping yourself apart to keep you and Wanda together.
𝐀𝐍: Random angst while I finish editing all these multi-chapter fics I wanna post. I am an unfortunate perfectionist. I may continue this in the future or I may never touch it again. Let me know what y’all think <3
“I have no reason to sit here and believe that you want nothing to do with me!” Wanda exclaimed, her hands and arms extended at her sides. “You expect me to think you don’t care for me? That you-” She scoffs. “What? That you don’t love me?!”
You gave no response and simply gripped the strap of your duffle bag so tight that your knuckles lightened. She chuckled but it was void of humor. You shifted your weight from one leg to the other and spoke after her outburst.
The living room of your once organized and aesthetically pleasing home was a mess. Couch cushions thrown around, the coffee table knocked over, a broken vase and the wilting flowers that once sat in them laid; abandoned on the ground to die. Just like your relationship.
“I don’t want to leave you—Then don’t— but I don’t want to burn myself to the ground to keep you warm.” You scowled. “It took me packing my shit for you to partially own up to the way you’ve been neglecting me these last few months.”
Screaming and throwing things didn’t work and clearly weren’t the solution; bargaining is all she has left. “Okay, but baby don’t go…I love you; you know that.” She took small steps towards you as if she were approaching a wounded animal on the side of the road. “We can work things out and come back stronger than before.”
Your eyes didn’t bother to push any tears to the surface the same way Wanda’s did. That’s when you knew it was time for you to leave, when you became numb to it all. Numb towards her jokes. Numb towards you being dragged around like a prize rather than a person. Numb to her canceling dates last minute only to see her posting her outings with her friends on social media the same day. Numb to her flirting with people when you were a few feet away. Numb to her love. All of it. You stopped caring and knew that would inevitably lead to you hurting each other. And that was the only thing you were certain you wanted to avoid. Dragging things along, longer than they needed to be.
You sighed then shook your head. “I don’t want to work on it anymore. I don’t want to work on anything, I’m tired of being everything to you when it’s convenient and me seeing you as everything and treating you as everything no matter how many times you’ve hurt me. And regardless of the number of times you’ve let me down—it’s like you’re going down a list and saying hmm ‘what else can I do that will cause them trust issues but ultimately won’t make me single again.’ Like you purposefully have been going out of your way to test my boundaries and push me to the point of complacency and you expect me to sit here and take it and believe you’ll change again? If I was enough for you, I wouldn’t need to be so docile for you to be with me and if you are enough for me, I wouldn’t be reaching my breaking point in such an exhausting manner. You’re not just disrespecting me but the love I have for you is making me disrespect myself. I love you Wanda Maximoff…but you don’t love me and I’m not waiting around for you to start when I love me more than I’ll ever love you.”
Wanda opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She sobbed and covered her face with her hands as she finally accepted that she lost you. She ruined the one consistent person relationship she had in her life.
Your shoulders sagged as you turned away and walked out the door. Your mind and your heart battling as you begged yourself not to run and comfort her. It would be so easy to turn around and apologize and say that the two of you could work it out. The easy way is not always the right way. Natasha stood outside; leaning on the moving truck with a lit cigarette in her hand. She brought it up to her mouth a final time, inhaled then threw it on the ground and pressed her boot on it. She knows you don’t like cigarettes and didn’t want to make your mood worse from the smell.
“Sorry, I’ll leave the windows down for a bit.” She opened the passenger door then ran around to the drivers side and hopped in.
The truck roared to life, the two of you sat in silence as Natasha pulled out of the complex you and Wanda’s condo was in. Natasha spoke once she was a few miles away.
Without looking at you she asked, “Wanna talk about it?”
Your tears came rushing to the surface all at once. You released a shaky sigh, intertwined your arms and leaned your head on her shoulder. “Nope.” Your giggle was watery and filled with pain.
Natasha leaned down and kissed the top of your head then leaned her head on your own. “Okay.”
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Uh, Guys?
My Masterlist
Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: There Was Only One Bed, no smut (i know, rare for me these days), idiots in love. bi!reader, bc both bucky and natasha are hot and i’m so fucking gay. implied bi!natasha bc she also likes bucky. mentions of guns, shooting, blood, and medical supplies. nervous!reader. best friends to lovers x2. it’s just pretty fluffy
Word Count: 2417
Summary: You get put on a mission with both the infamous Winter Soldier and Black Widow to take down a Hydra base. You get shot and the extraction plan goes haywire but Tony knows a safe house. The only issue? There’s only one bed and you have a massive crush on both assassins.
**
“Okay, HYDRA missions are officially the worst.” You said into your comms, running through the halls, away from gunfire, towards the computer terminal. You threw the door closed behind you and quickly looked around for any agents or doors that could be used to attack you. Seeing that you were leaning against the only door, you grabbed a chair and shoved it under the doorknob.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” Natasha asked through the comms.
You nodded before remembering she couldn’t see you. “Ah, yea-um, maybe.” You said, plugging the USB in. “I’m in the room with the computer, but I’m pretty sure I got shot.”
“I’m on my way to you, Y/N.” Bucky said, jogging towards where he knew the terminal was.
“Don’t bother, I shoved a chair under the door so nobody can get in and I’m not moving it just for you to carry me out of here. I’m fine, I’m still standing, and- oh, okay, I’m bleeding more than I thought, but I’m fine.” You replied, downloading all of the files on the computer for Tony and FRIDAY to sort through later.
Bucky sighed audibly through the door, “Really, N/N? Let me in please, just so you don’t accidentally bleed out alone?” 
You checked the files to make sure they were downloading properly and moved the chair enough so you could open the door to make sure Bucky wasn’t being impersonated by a HYDRA agent. “What’s the password?” You asked, knowing that everyone on the team had a secret password with the other in case of something like this.
Bucky chuckled, rolling his eyes and leaning in the doorway slightly. “Monopoly.” You sighed dramatically and moved the chair out of the way, letting Bucky in. “You didn’t believe it was truly me?” He asked, dramatically offended.
“Buck, with the way technology is these days, they could probably clone you. Hell, the clone could know the code word and you’re not actually here with me, it’s an agent that’s gonna kill me.” You sat back down, continuously downloading their files and deleting them off the computer once you had them.
“Well, doll, you know that’s not it.” He said, leaning in the doorway to be able to watch you and the hallway.
You chuckled, watching the last of the files download. “Yeah, I know, but it could be.”
Bucky watched drops of blood continuously drip onto the floor. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you’re bleeding a lot.”
“I’m fine, Buck. This is not the first time I’ve been shot. It’s not important.” You said, pulling the USB out and turning to him.
“Where is it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“My bicep is going to be fine.” You replied calmly, walking out of the room and jogging back towards where the three of you landed after parachuting out of the quinjet.
“Did you just try to convince me that your arm wasn’t important?!” Bucky shouted after you, jogging to catch up, the both of you running out of the building and to Natasha.
She raised an eyebrow at you and Bucky, motioning around to the empty clearing. “First of all, your arm is extremely important. Secondly, apparently, they booked more missions than extractions, so we have no way of getting home for the immediate future. Third, Tony has a safe house about 3 miles northeast of here, and he sent me the coordinates. Apparently we’re stuck together until at least morning.”
Bucky nodded at Natasha’s words and started walking northeast, you and Natasha following behind. You quickly fell into a rhythm of just following their footsteps as you got lost in your own head. It wasn’t that you were scared of Natasha or Bucky, not at all. You and Nat had been best friends for years, and Bucky was one of the only other people you would go to when you were feeling out of it. Your current issue was that you had feelings for them both, which had ruined your last relationship, since your ex-girlfriend figured out that she was not your priority. Cradling your arm to your chest, Natasha and Bucky finally realized you weren’t contributing to the conversation and turned to look at you.
“N/N?” Bucky asked softly, snapping you out of your trance. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” You said, sighing. “This just hurts a little more than I thought. How much further do you think it is?”
Nat smiled, laughing at you a little. “Darling, it’s been 10 minutes. We have a while to go.”
“It’s not still bleeding, is it?” Bucky asked again.
“No, the bullet lodged in my shoulder, so it’s not bleeding. Let’s just go, please? I’d really like to sit down.” You replied, walking past them in the direction you had all started in.
Natasha and Bucky gave each other a look before Bucky jogged over to you, picked you up bridal style, and kept jogging. Nat was jogging after the two of you, figuring that Bucky would want to get you to the safe house, stitched up and bulletless as soon as possible before your injury got any worse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twenty minutes of light jogging and your complaining that you could walk perfectly fine and Bucky didn’t need to carry you anywhere passed the time quickly, and before you knew it, the three of you were standing on the porch of the safe house. Natasha opened the door and allowed Bucky to take you inside. 
“Uh, guys? I may be hallucinating from blood loss, but there’s only one bed.” You said, tapping Bucky on the shoulder.
Natasha and Bucky shared a look, Bucky setting you down on the bed. “Tony did this on purpose.” She said, sitting next to you. “You know we’re gonna have to take your tac suit off to dress the wound, right?” 
“Yeah, I know.” You said, wincing. 
“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, cradling your arm as he slid it out of your sleeve.
“I’m just in a bit of pain, and I’m not wearing a shirt underneath this.” Bucky’s eyes widened. “It’s comfier without the shirt and the fabric crinkles weirdly, but I’m wearing a bra.” You reassured him. “You aren’t gonna see everything, Buck.”
“I’ll still feel better if Nat does it.” He said, shifting his weight between his feet.
Nat glanced between the two of you. “I can’t do that. I can’t stitch wounds, Buck. It has to be you, especially because that’s Y/N’s dominant arm.”
“Yeah, I can’t pull the bullet out and stitch my own wound shut this time, unfortunately.” You said, shrugging with your unwounded arm. “But if it would make you feel better, Nat can help me out of my suit. I’m wearing a pair of shorts and I’m sure that there’s an extra shirt around here somewhere that I can wear.”
“I can absolutely help you out of your suit, honey.” Nat said, reaching for the zipper.
Bucky averted his eyes, blushing, as Nat helped you out of the mission-necessary tactical suit. “I’m gonna go find the medical kit I know Tony must have in here, shout when you’re ready for me.” 
“Okay, Buck. Sure.” You said softly, wincing as your shot arm came out of the sleeve.
“Don’t mind his nervousness.” Nat said, moving towards the other shoulder. “He hasn’t really been with anyone since waking up from HYDRA and getting the trigger words taken out of his head. And I know he likes you, so that doesn’t probably make things better.”
Your eyes widened. “Bucky likes me?”
Natasha nodded quickly, “He’s not the only one. Do you have feelings for anyone?”
“I- um, yes? I just don’t want to say anything.” You said, averting your eyes from where Natasha was sliding your tac suit down your body.
“Why’s that?” She asked.
“I have feelings for more than one person. And I’m friends with them both and they’re friends.” You blurted out, feeling her hands skim over the band of your bra.
She nodded in response, slipping a finger in the band. “This is cute. Where’d you get it?”
“Ardene, you’d like it. I get a lot of stuff from there.” You breathed a sigh of relief that she was going to let this topic slide.
“Do I know either of them?” She asked, sliding your suit down further.
You nodded. “Both of them. Quite close, actually.”
“Am I?” You shivered slightly as you felt her breath ghost over your stomach. “You know it’s okay to talk about feelings, honey.” You hummed in agreement, mulling over in your head whether or not to tell her. “Buck or I won’t judge you.” Nat pulled your suit off and ran her hands up and down your calves a few times in a soothing motion.
Bucky popped his head back into the room. “What aren’t we judging?”
“Y/N has a crush on two people she’s friends with, they’re friends, and I’m apparently quite close to both of them.” Nat explained, keeping eye contact with you and slightly raising one eyebrow to make sure she got the facts right. You nodded once, sharply, fighting the urge to crawl under the covers and curl in on yourself.
“Oh, baby doll.” Bucky said, coming to sit next to you on the bed. “You know you can tell us anything.” He wrapped an arm around you and you burrowed your face into his chest. “Oh shit, this is something you’re really nervous about, isn’t it, doll?”
You nodded, knowing now you were going to have to tell both of them the truth. “I like you.” You said softly, knowing Bucky’s super-soldier hearing would pick it up.
“You like me, baby doll?” He asked, rubbing your back as Nat came to sit on your other side. You nodded again, attempting to burrow further into his chest. “Hey, that’s okay, sweet pea. I like you too.”
“Nat told me that.” You said softly, feeling the glare from your best friend burn into your back.
“Who’s the other one, N/N?” She asked sharply.
“You.” You said into Bucky’s chest, knowing he pointed at Nat when he heard you say it.
“Me?” Nat asked, surprised. 
You nodded, pulling your head out of Bucky’s chest, but not willing to meet either of their eyes. “Of course it’s you guys. It’s always been the two of you there for me.” You paused, letting them mull over what you just said. “It’s why Meg and I split.”
Bucky turned you to face him so he could start pulling the bullet out of your shoulder. “How so, baby doll?” Nat rested her chin on your other shoulder, holding out a hand for you to squeeze.
“Well, she didn’t like the fact that I was constantly on missions, which is literally my job, so that didn’t help matters. But the other thing is that she said I looked at you guys differently than her, treated the two of you better.” You said, looking down and squeezing Nat’s hand.
Nat rubbed your back, knowing that if you hadn’t told the two of them this, you hadn’t told anyone. “She broke up with you because she could tell you liked us?”
You nodded. “She said that if she wasn’t my first priority then we weren’t meant to be. And work is always my priority.”
“But then it’s us?” Bucky asked softly, stopping the bleeding of the removal from the bullet before he stitched you shut again.
“Yeah.” You said softly. “She didn’t like that much.”
Bucky stitched you up, and as he had changed out of his suit while finding the medical kit, pulled his shirt off for you to wear. “Here, sweetheart. You’re all stitched up.”
“Oh, thank you, Buck.” You said, putting on his shirt, the nickname and his scent lighting your insides on fire. You sighed softly, curling up under the covers and rolling away from both of them, not knowing what to say to your two closest friends now that you had spilled your heart to them and they didn’t say anything.
Nat knelt next to you on the bed, gently placing a hand on your busted shoulder. “N/N, please don’t pout. Buck and I have talked, because we both like each other, and you. We want to try to make this work.”
Bucky knelt on the floor, cupping your face in his hands. “We don’t have to move quickly, baby doll, we just wanna be with you, if that’s something you’d be okay with.”
“Yeah.” You said softly. “I’d be okay with that. But how does something like this even work?”
“Baby, this is like any relationship, we’ll figure it out as we go. Communication and comprehension is key. And we’re pretty good at that.” Nat said, gently rolling you onto your back. “So why don’t we just start with cuddles? And we can go from there later.”
You nodded, moving over to the middle of the bed so they could both crawl in with you. “Is this okay? Or did you guys want to be closer to each other?”
“This is perfect, baby doll.” Bucky said, reaching across you to throw his arm over both you and Nat.
“Yeah, perfect.” Nat said, snuggling further into your side.
“Yeah, this is everything I’ve ever wanted.” You said, leaning your head against Nat’s while curling further into Bucky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Quick take a picture!” You heard somebody exclaim to wake you up. You were still very disoriented, having just woken up and you hadn’t even blinked your eyes open when light flashed behind them. 
“What the fuck is that?” Nat mumbled into your shoulder, eyes closed still.
“I dunno.” You mumbled, wrapping an extra arm around her. “Don’ really care either.”
Bucky pulled you both closer. “It’s Sam and Steve here to pick us up.” 
“But ‘m comfy ‘n sleepy.” You mumbled into Nat’s hair.
“I know you are, baby doll.” He said, beginning to untangle himself from the cuddle pile the three of you were in. “How about we all go for a nap back at the compound after we let your bullet wound actually get checked out?” Once untangled, Bucky picked you up in one arm and Nat in the other to carry you back onto the quinjet.
You nuzzled into his shoulder. “That sounds good.”
“So how did this all happen, punk?” Steve asked, taking you carefully from Bucky so neither you or Nat were dropped.
Bucky glanced between you and Nat fondly. “We’re all idiots.”
**
Taglist: @chrisevansdaughter, @buckybarnesandmarvel, @sarahrogersevans, @nana1000night
Let me know if you want to be added or removed!
Yall I am so sorry that it’s been so long since I posted, but this is finished now and I hope you like it. I hope to get a lot more fics out by the end of August bc then I’ll be moving and starting at a new school and it’s gonna be a whole thing.
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