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mashedcontroller · 8 months

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I'm feeling spicy, time to list everything I think BH outclassed 03 on. And by that, prepare yourself for the most backhanded, hyper specific or wildly vague, and strings-attached compliments you've heard in your fucking life. But actually, the reason I'm doing this is because I think 03 is better than BH in every way that matters. The majority of common points people give BH over 03 typically come down to attempts to make subjective taste sound objective since a lot of shit is really just a difference in priorities and/or genre rather than an objective flaw in the other show.

And, to be clear, 03 is the better show. It has a really strong thematic core and just says a lot of shit that I rarely see other stuff have the gall to say. 03 tackles heavy topics and tackles them well. It left me with a lot to think about, even years after my first viewing. It's a political piece of art that remains relevant 20 years after the fact. On some levels, it was designed to do this. 03 is a character drama that deconstructs a lot of the elements that make up the shonen genre, and it also very clearly had something to say. 03 has very few weak points and has some of the strongest moments I've seen from any piece of media that I've interacted with. I think a lot of its bad reputation comes from people failing to engage with the show on its own terms. I can only speculate on what's going through other people's heads, but expecting it to act as supplementary material for BH is a fundamentally wrong assumption to make about the show. These two shows are trying to accomplish very different things, so judging 03 on its ability to be BH is a boldfaced stupid lens to view the show through.

BH, however, is still a well-made show. Like, I'm more than happy to shit on it, but BH is by no means a bad anime. It's just not as ambitious as people claim it to be. And if it really is one of the best things Shonun has to offer, then that says pretty mediocre things about the genre imo. It's far from a bad show. I think it accomplishes the role of "fun action series" really well, but it also has gaping flaws the moment you decide to engage with the work critically. That's not necessarily an issue that I'll take with its fanbase. The show's got a lot of elements that make it good for cultivating one. Stuff like large casts, likeable characters, emphasizing its worldbuilding, prioritizing action over character work, etc. are all traits that are great for cultivating fandom, and they're all traits that BH has that 03 revokes. But yeah, BH does fall apart once you look at it critically. My biggest issues with it come down to the fact that the show baits you into thinking that it's deeper than it actually is. So, I'll take the bait and look for the deeper stuff and then find nothing, which is where my negative perception of the show comes from, which isn't helped by how common it is for people to take the bait without really looking.

So, yeah, in short, I have a mountain of good things to say about 03. It's an incredible piece of art with so much shit to look into. In my opinion, you're doing the show a disservice to watch it and not put serious analytical thought into what you're consuming. Meanwhile I have a lot of mixed opinions about BH. It's a great show to watch, it's just a terrible show to consume critically. This isn't even me calling people who prefer BH dumb or anything. The show's are just so fundamentally different from one-another that your preference truly does just come down to a mix of personal tastes and how you prefer to interact with media, especially if you're a more casual viewer of either/both shows. The part that makes me angry is how disrespected 03 is in the majority of FMA circles.

The animation and sound design of Roy's snap is really fucking good in BH.

While 03 may have an overall better art direction and visuals than BH, I do really like how juicy the BH animators and sound designers made Roy's fire attack. The fire itself is just so fucking juicy and satisfying. The BH team did a really good job at making that attack iconic. There's no "but actually" here. The BH team just fucking nailed this one aspect.

In general, BH has better special effects than 03. This is absolutely a difference in available technology at the time each show was animated. And while I do have respect for special effects animation; it's often the difference between animations looking really stiff vs getting across their intended atmospheres, especially in the realm of video games. Using a human body as an analogy, the special effects are more like the hair than the skin, fat, muscle, nerves, or bones. Both important but somewhat expendable.

BH's alchemy is much more logically consistent than 03's.

So, there are a lot of reasons for this difference. The two main ones are the BH and 03 can barely if even be considered the same genre of anime. BH is a fun fights-heavy action series with some intrigue plot, while 03 is a really critical deconstruction the genre BH embraces that's more of a character drama with a heavily knit thematic core than anything else.

And their commitments to their genres translate to each show's relationship with alchemy. In 03, Alchemy's rules are much more metaphoric than literal. Equivalent Exchange is the shit because it's representative of the philosophy that Edward clings to; that life is fundamentally fair, that there is some universal justification for everything that happens. And 03 is about tearing that belief into itty bitty pieces. In fact, we learn that Equivalent Exchange isn't even true. Everything about Alchemy in 03 is bound by the magic's metaphorical meaning. Thus, when it comes to fights, characters really just need to be able to loosely justify how their alchemy functions for the audience to go "oh ok." And, in 03, alchemy is fundamentally powered by taking the life force of something and using that energy to do something else. So, you get stuff like the ability to extract alchemical energy from plants in order to amplify your alchemy much later, Edward being able to turn his automail into a gun, Dante's alchemic dragon thing, Scar's arm being the Philosopher's Stone, etc. The point is that you're sort of meant to accept that "yeah thats a thing that can happen." In other words, the fights exist purely for spectacle and the logic behind them is low priority at best. So, the way 03 frames it's combat is that it has to establish rules that exist within their own space and work with those rules. So, it can't circumvent stuff like "Roy can't use his gloves if they're wet" because there's no reason to and giving a talk about how H2O has Oxygen in it would have been horribly distracting in the one scene where Roy does get fucking soaked. Especially since him being crafty in a fight is sold by him just using Havoc's matches + Armstrongs rocks to make frag bombs. Tldr, the way 03 is structured allows if not flat out encourages characters to bullshit during fights. I think the fast and loose usage of alchemy's principles in the earlier parts of the show also make the later parts of the show, where those principals turn out to be false, feel more believable.

Meanwhile, BH's alchemy is operating on a much more literal framework, so the writing has more room and necessity for creative and engaging combat sequences. In a way, the fights in BH are puzzles and alchemy is the tools the characters are given to solve those puzzles, so the fights become engaging because you want to see how the characters solve the puzzles. It's very gamey. That said, I do have to say that I dislike how the homunculi are fit into this system. Their lose condition is having their stones exhausted, which just translates into "they have more HP." Which is very bullshit. The homunculi in BH die when the story tells them to, at least, that's how their lose condition makes it feel.

Both shows heavily rely on the usage of gimmicks to make their fights interesting. For example, Roy uses exclusively fire, which he creates by snapping. Like, I really like how Roy's combat gimmick gets explored in this fight specifically.

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I like how Ed ducks into a crowd in an attempt to dissuade him, and Roy's like "you think I care about collateral damage lmao." I like how Ed thinks he won the fight by slicing Roy's glove, but then Roy just ruins his day by revealing that he has two hands and therefore another glove. I really like how Roy's not taking this very seriously and Ed only wins because of Roy getting a flashback. This fight is just an excellent display of character for both of them and I love it.

Anyways, there are a lot of other character gimmicks. Honestly, 03 is so much better with its character gimmicks during fights than BH is. Like, I could list a ton of cool moments where the character gimmicks get played with. And part of how it does this is that every character plays by their own rules. No character will ever break their own rules, but the universal rules governing what is and isn't acceptable for a fight isn't very consistent. This does fit into 03s themes about how there is no universal truth. But yeah, that's how 03 structures its fights and why characters will sometimes just blatantly ignore the laws of alchemy.

Anyways, in BH, the rules are much less person-by-person and are more like "Alchemists can do XYZ," "Homunculi can do ABC," "Alkahestrists can do UWV," "Chimeras can do RST," etc. So, everyone has similar rules that they have to play by. Which also makes it so much more jarring when someone blatantly breaks those rules. Like, when Edward gets impaled and uses alchemy to not die, it's super jarring because that breaks the laws of human frailty and it doesn't really make sense. It's even worse when Edward fucks with Pride's Stone. Compare that to some of the blatant bullshitting in 03, like where Edward uses concrete to turn his broken automail into a gun. He shouldn't be able to decide when the shots are fired and where's the ammo coming from? But part of the reason it isn't jarring is because him turning his automail into a gun isn't a big deal or even particularly important to the scene he does that in. Or take bullshitting that is more relevant, like Alphonse performing a successful human transmutation. At this point, it's been clearly established that Alchemy's laws aren't true. So, Alphonse breaking them doesn't break audience suspense. Instead, the fundamental logic behind it actually working is tied to the story's central themes.

But yeah, BH's alchemy is a bit more logically consistent than 03's, but there's a very good reason for 03's alchemy to have some logical inconsistencies, which results in BH being much worse at breaking its own rules than 03 is.

A lot of the characters are just easier to get behind and digest in BH.

The entire point of 03 is that these characters are nazis and morally grey as fuck. Meanwhile, the characters in BH are primarily meant to be fun characters that you could comfortably fantasize about being or being friends with. The characters in BH are much simpler than in 03 and the show tends to gloss over their war crimes. Even when it addresses them, there's a billion asterisks and variations of "they're still the good guys." Compared to 03, where everyone is just messy and fucked up.

For example, BH Roy is easier to root for than 03 Roy, but that's because BH Roy is a fundamentally different type of character than 03 Roy. BH Roy is firmly a protagonist while with 03 Roy, he's much more antagonistic and complex. He doesn't solidly fit into the categorization of protagonist or antagonist because he's a bit of both.

And to be clear, I'm not calling the characters in BH simplistic in a derogatory way. A major benefit to simplicity is that you know who to root for and don't have to do a ton of heavy thinking to enjoy the story. That said, I don't think this style of character is necessarily appropriate for a story where the majority of the protagonists committed racial genocide and serve in the military for a fascist dictatorship. BH's characterization would've been a lot better if the story wasn't also trying to cover ridiculously heavy topics.

I've been using Roy as my go-to example since he's the only character to be one of my favorites in both shows, but I think the character who benefits the most from this point is Izumi. In BH, she's iconic. She's a slapstick oriented character who's just a joy to have on screen. In 03, her character writing gives me a lot of mixed messages. She's still very slap stick, but it's just weird in 03 since a lot of similar stuff gets unpacked, but Izumi being outright physically abusive to the Elrics at times just isn't. She's also much softer in 03; most characters are. And I'm mostly just left confused on how to feel about her. She has some great scenes, especially with Wrath, but the character feels a bit disjointed. In BH, she really benefits from being a nonparticipant in Ishval. The writing doesn't have to worry about her being sympathetic in spite of her committing genocide, so she gets to be divorced from the massive fuck up that was that section of the story.

BH has a larger cast than 03. Also, a lot of BH exclusive characters are more likeable than the 03 exclusive characters.

There's a lot of things to unpack here.

So, first thing that's kinda an obvious point is that BH prioritizes making its characters easily likeable to the detriment of its larger themes, 03 makes its characters likeable in service of those themes. So, it's a lot easier to get behind BH Mustang than 03 Mustang because Mustang's warcrimes just aren't that important in BH while they're the most important part of the character in 03. A lot of a character's likeability in BH hinges on the audience's ability to simply ignore the Ishval subplot, which was already a poorly handled subplot. While in 03, their likeability is intentionally contrasted with their war crimes to make a point. That's the primary reason why the characters in BH are more likeable than in 03.

And this also extends to the casts that are either version exclusive or unrecognizable between the two. Kimbly is a perfect example. In BH, he's designed primarily as a fun and bombastic antagonist who blows shit up because it's fun. They also made him extremely fashionable. Meanwhile, in 03 he's genuinely fucked up and views the lives of people as little more than tools to use to further his own goals, which is made interesting by Kimbly not being a top dog (like most villains running with that mindset are). He's at the bottom of the food chain and yet he still thrives under that mindset. BH Kimbly is the more fun character, but that's because BH Kimbly and 03 Kimbly are fundamentally different types of antagonist.

A lot of this comes down to tone. 03 is a much more somber show than BH. Unlike BH, it takes the premise of "child soldier works for a fascist government that partook in genocide a few years back because he wants to fix a mistake that made him and his brother permanently disabled" as a sign that the story is meant to be dark and a little fucked up. Meanwhile, BH tends to gloss over the fucked up shit in favor of selling the power-fantasy aspect of the story. This just results in BH's characters being a lot more fun. The surface level shit is the only thing that really matters to them when looking at BH since the deeper shit is simply shit and not really worth calling attention to.

The cast sizes also exist to further both show's individual goals. BH being about action and badass people being badass benefits from a larger cast because you get to see more flavors of badassery. It lets fights cycle between different styles of combat, which helps keep things interesting. 03 is a character drama. This benefits from having a smaller cast because it allows the show to spend more time unpacking a handful of characters.

There are a lot more badass female characters in BH compared to 03

I'll give BH a "you did the bare minimum" award for being an action show with female characters who are not just eye candy. That doesn't make the show revolutionary. It just says bad things about the genre that this isn't considered the bare minimum. But yeah, in both shows, most of the female characters are subordinate to their male peers. Hawkeye is defined as Roy's henchman. Winry is defined as Ed's love interest/childhood friend, Izumi is defined as Ed's mentor. In some aspects, this is fine. Like, the main characters are Edward and Alphonse, they don't need to draw attention away from them in favor of their own bullshit. But how badass a character is doesn't exactly translate into whether they're feminist.

Like, again, the reason you see more badass female characters in BH than 03 is the same reason you see more badass characters in BH than 03; BH is an action show, 03 is a character drama with some amount of action on the side. They're both guilty of employing sexist tropes. BH tends mix those tropes with badassery, while 03 tends to mix those tropes with character nuance. Doesn't change the existence of the tropes. It's sort of just something that you gotta accept about either show. That doesn't mean that its female characters don't have good moments in either show. Just that they're working from a sexist baseline. Neither show is particularly feminist, but they're also far from the worst offenders out there.

There are a few characters where I prefer their BH incarnations over their 03 versions.

The reason someone might prefer one version's character over another is a bit more nuanced than just which character was written better. The vast majority of overlapping characters fulfill different narrative niches in each story. For example, comparing 03 Lust and BH Lust has always felt disingenuous to me because while it's true that 03 Lust is the more compelling character, a major reason for that fact is that BH Lust was never designed with being compelling in mind. A more apt comparison would be 03 Lust to BH Greed, as those two characters do share the same niche of being an antagonist that makes the audience question the nature of the homunculi and eventually splits off from them. I'd also say that BH Lust and 03 Greed fulfill similar narrative niches as being a minor antagonist that establishes exactly what the main villains are all about and who's death is used as a tool by the authors to reveal exactly what the protagonist slaying them is all about. That's why BH Lust's death and 03 Greed's Deaths are both pointed to as highlighting points in their respective series. They both execute on their niches quite well.

This also accounts for the primary reason why someone may like a character in one show but dislike them in another. BH Mustang fulfills the niche of a secondary protagonist. In 03, he fulfills the role of a pseudo-antagonist / morally ambiguous major character. I happen to really like both versions of Mustang, but it's for very different reasons. In BH, I just think he's funny and has a lot of good banter. That's more or less exactly what he's meant to accomplish there. You're supposed to go "haha funny" and/or "haha awesome" with this guy. BH Mustang falls apart when you critically analyze him because the Ishval plot was mishandled, but his surface level traits are so good that I can just be like "I saw nothing." Meanwhile, 03 Mustang is a character who you sort of have to engage with critically to get the most out of. He's a complicated character and his relationship with the audience isn't a static variable. And there's merit to both approaches of character writing. There's as much value to a character where it's not worth overanalyzing them as there is to a character who doesn't really come into their own until you pull out the tweezers.

So, in case anyone's curious, which characters do I prefer their BH incarnations to over their 03 incarnations? Well, I prefer Barry the Chopper and Izumi Curtis in BH vs their 03 counterparts. Like I said, there's a lot more nuance than "this character was written better in one anime than the other" when regarding personal preferences. So, the reason I prefer BH Izumi over 03 Izumi is that I thought BH Izumi was funny and cool while I just got a lot of mixed messages about 03 Izumi. So, in this case, I think BH Izumi fulfilled her narrative purpose really well, while I have much more mixed opinions on 03 Izumi. As for Barry, it's a similar case where I thought he was really funny in BH, while I think he fell short as a more serious antagonist in 03. In Izumi's case, the failings I have for her in 03 are that I don't think her treatment of the Elrics is put under the same scrutiny that every other character is given. Like, in BH, her being physically violent towards them is played off for comedy. It's the same case in 03, but it doesn't work as well in this context because 03 is the show that turned the short jokes into an important metaphor, so it's really weird that Izumi's slapstick wasn't given the same treatment. And I found that really off-putting. Meanwhile, my main issue with BH Izumi is that the stuff around her failed human transmutation was extremely underexplored, which doesn't stick out as much as the slapstick issue in 03 because Izumi is ultimately a minor character in BH while she takes the mantle of a more major character in 03. Though, personal bias is a huge factor in why I prefer BH Izumi over 03 Izumi, since her specific plot about being unable to bear children just happens to be so alien to my personal life, as someone who's both never had a failed pregnancy, has zero interest in bearing children, and would happily make a magic "goodbye pussy" circle. It's not that this type of conflict can't still be compelling to someone like me, but it's going to require more narrative work than a conflict that I can more closely relate to. Hence, why it's personal bias. Meanwhile, in the case of Barry the Chopper, my preference towards BH's version is a fair bit less subjectively biased. He just fits really awkwardly into the role 03 tries to assign him. The issue is that he jumps back and forth between trying to be fucked up and scary to being a comedic antagonist, which just undermines both aspects of him.

Like, the antagonist for this scene, should end up looking completely alien to the version of Barry the Chopper seen in BH, but that version of Barry is played relatively similar to BH Barry in Lab 5, resulting in the 03 Barry being inconsistent.

And for every character where I prefer their BH version, there are plenty more characters where I prefer their 03 versions. And a lot of that will come down to personal preference.

Armstrong's a great example of a character who on a surface level isn't that far off between 03 and BH, but he just works so much better in 03 than in BH because of the different character niches he fulfills in both shows. In 03, he's a minor character, while in BH, he's a major character. So, in 03, he's not particularly developed. He's mainly a funny guy who has a few shots where he's sad over Ishbal, and then he ends up supporting Mustang in overthrowing the government, which he mostly does in a comedic fashion. That's a pretty apt description for both his 03 and BH incarnations, but I only take issue with his performance in BH. The reason for this is that he's a more important character in BH, so I expect the show to disclose more information about him, which doesn't happen. Like, in BH, I want to know more about how his refusal to fight in Ishval affected him, his relationships, his status, etc. But BH only addresses that through off-handed scenes where Olivier calls him a pussy, which don't really go anywhere. Meanwhile, in 03, first of all, Armstrong did kill people in Ishbal, so the massive question of "how did his time in Ishbal affect him" can be supplemented by other characters confronting similar questions. Thus, the minor amounts of information we are given about Armstrong alongside information we see from other characters who were soldiers in Ishbal like Marcoh and Mustang are more than enough to get across the general picture. Secondly, we actually do get hints at how Armstrong's goofier attitude and kinder disposition impact his career. Mainly during the raid in Dublith where Envy disguised as Bradly says "this is why you never get a promotion." As a minor character in 03, he's allowed to have the nuances of his character be heavily carried by implication. But I can't really give a major character like BH Armstrong that same affordance, especially when those hints are barely given. It doesn't help that Armstrong's backstory in BH very heavily leaned into the story's insistence that the soldiers didn't mean it when they slaughtered Ishval.

Edward is more of a Badass in BH than 03

Ngl, I'm cheating a little with this point because it's like "I agree with this point but I also couldn't give less of a shit about it." Which, that response is, at least, 85% personal preference coming into the equation. I'm not going to say that badass characters never resonate with me, but it's really uncommon because the badass character has to be someone I personally can somewhat relate to, which is a rare flavor of character in popular media. My own experiences with the two characters are that I find BH Edward to be kinda boring as a character while 03 Edward is the most interesting character in the show (as he should be given everything I said about what 03 is trying to accomplish). But it's a lot of the same stuff my general thesis has been; BH Ed is more badass than 03 Ed because BH Ed was written to be a badass while 03 Ed was written to be a compelling character.

The actual reason I wanted to bring up this point is because it's a common enough point I've seen people make when comparing the two shows and I find this point rather bothersome. Maybe that's because I take issue with consistently seeing a rather mediocre character being placed on a pedestal over one of the best protagonists I've ever seen. But it's also more the explanations that bug me than anything. Like, I cannot take anyone seriously who uses calling a character "whiny" as a critique. Maybe it's because you're looking for an action hero who can shrug off shit that would normally be traumatizing, in which case, you're in the wrong genre. Maybe you take some issue with characters being emotional in a vulnerable sort of way. 03 features a lot of characters displaying emotions in a dysfunctional sort of way. Characters are allowed to hurt in a way that doesn't fuel anything other than more hurt. Characters will repress their feelings and that will bite them in the ass. Characters are allowed to be depressed, not in a "waiting for the heroic do shit speech" sort of way but in the genuine "existing is painful, no energy, depression" kinda way.

And this is the point that rubs me the wrong way about the majority of complaints thrown at 03 Ed. It's not that wallowing in your own misery makes for good entertainment, but it's an important part of 03's themes and its point. I can also, just, relate more to this unproductive sense of pain. I have depression, that is what depression looks and feels like. It's unproductive, it's painful, it can't be fixed by someone just walking up to you and giving a dramatic speech. And that's why the way 03 expresses hurt resonates with me in a way that BH's just doesn't. It's low octane, and that's the point. That's what makes it good.

BH's Ending is a lot more Straight-Forwards than 03's Ending

I think that's the best way I can put it without saying something I flat out disagree with. BH, in general, is much more straight-forwards than 03, and the endings of both show embody that. BH is, ultimately, a fun show where the heroes have to take a bunch of twists and turns to come out victorious. Meanwhile, 03 is an extremely messy show about characters being put in fucked up situations and no one coming out of it unscathed. It's about decisions that will haunt you for the rest of your life. It's about situations where the right answer is the one you least want to accept. It's a show about how the people will create doctrines to shield themselves from the truth. And it's a show about human selfishness. The endings of both shows are exactly how their shows should have ended. BH was never going to have a bad ending and 03 was never going to have a completely satisfactory ending. If 03 had a happy ending, the show would've been worse off for it.

So, yeah, BH's ending is a lot more straight-forward. It's a happy ending where everyone gets what they want more or less. Narrative knots are tied. All that shit. I personally thought the ending was nothing special. Like, it's another happy ending. I can't fault people for enjoying it for that, but it's not the type of thing that's going to stand out in my brain.

Meanwhile, 03's ending does a lot of nontraditional things. There's arguably multiple major plot twists that come out of nowhere and are more of a "fuck you" to the audience than anything else. The protagonists end the series arguably off worse than where they started. Wrath and Gluttony are still alive and haven't had their arcs concluded in any satisfying way. There's no guarantee that the setting or the characters in it will continue to be okay after the series ends. And that's okay. The ending of 03 is very messy because it's meant to be messy because the point that the show is making is that the world is neither straightforward nor fair, which is why you gotta keep doing the best you can to improve it. That's why the ending is uplifting. Even though Edward's in arguably the worst position he's been in throughout the series, having literally lost everything, he hasn't given up, so you, the viewer, shouldn't give up either. Life doesn't end until it ends, so you should live.

And yeah, the ways that 03's and BH's ending function are fundamentally different. I can totally see why one ending would pass someone by. Like I already said, I didn't feel anything watching BH's ending but 03's ending felt very significant to me, and I could totally understand the inverse being true for some people.

Conclusion

People give BH too much credit and shit too much on 03. Like, 03 is just the better show. It's just that 03 isn't designed to be a comfortable watch in the same way BH is. You're meant to leave BH feeling good, you're meant to leave 03 with a lot to think about. If 03 makes you uncomfortable, that's a feature, not a bug. Many of the fan advertised strengths and weaknesses of each show is really just differences in genre.

And while I've repeatedly conveyed that 03 is the better show, that's not because BH is bad; 03 is just really fucking good. It's like comparing Elden Ring to Dark Souls 1; sure they're made by the same developers and have a lot of surface level similarities, but they're so fundamentally different experiences that viewing them through the same lens isn't fair to either. There are a lot of things that BH does well, and there are a lot of things that 03 does well. But it's not fair to say "BH does X thing better than 03 therefore it's better" (or the occasions where the inverse claim is made) because both shows are trying to paint very different pictures, to the point where I don't consider them to be parts of the same genre. There may be similar components, but the way those components are used is very different from one-another. Comparing the two shows makes for interesting analysis, but it's bad for the purposes of actually criticizing either show.

#fma03 #fmab #fma analysis #fma2003 #fullmetal alchemist #fma #fmab critical #that's right i'm using all the tags this time #mostly because i've put a ridiculous amount of time writing this so i'd like it to be seen by other ppl #and yeah responses are good even you don't have much to say I love seeing other ppl's opinions about shit

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negansworld · 2 years

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Play with me

Negan has been growing frustrated the past weeks. More than fucking usual after he got fired. Zapping through the TV he watches some old basketball game and only gets iffier as he frowns. Boooring, that shit is boring as fuck.

Not even the beer is fucking good and his girl is at work. His sweet little girl working her even cuter ass off to pay the bills. What a damn joke he is. He feels his ears turning warm from the embarrassment seeping through his body.

His mood is lifting up as they show a commercial about the newest gaming console. Some PlayStation including the game for fucking free. Shutting off the TV he grabs his car keys and off he drives, knowing damn well that his lady will be mad.

Oh fuck, she's pissed like really fucking pissed. She actually looks like she'd swallow her chin next as she cusses him out. All he can do is grin, because he knows how good she screws when she's in a mood. For now he's listening, grinning at her red apple cheeks and eyes on fucking fire.

"Babygirl." His voice is a dark purr. "C'mon daddy paid it from his fuckin' savings."

"That's not better, Negan. You're ir-fucking-responsible." She sighs.

Damn, he taught her so damn well. He's snickering.

Grabbing her hips he tugs her close while she pouts. Giving his chest a smack he just fucking ignores it as he leans down to rub his scruff against her cheek. Against her neck, because he knows how much she fucking likes it and how wet her pussy gets.

Still it's his turn to get pushed against the wall as she cups his crotch. "I think daddy has some apologizing to do."

"Fuck yea, he does." And down on his fucking knees he goes.

"You bunch of pussies, l'm just gettin' started." Negan is shouting and hollering in the mic, cussing and flipping off the TV.

"That's all you got? Did you just logged the fuck off?... yeah, go crying to your mama.

Give her tiddy a good ol' suck from uncle

Negan."

He's having a blast, occupied the basement like it's his kingdom. Snacks on the table, some cans of beer and soda, a clock so he wouldn't go to bed too fucking late.

It's 1:34. AM, not PM.

From the outside he hears shuffling and he prepares himself for his lady to throw a damn lasso at him and drag him to bed.

Laughing quietly at the image in his head he looks over to the door as she appears there.

And like always her sight takes his damn breath away.

"Daddy." Mhmm, he fucking likes when she calls him that. "Daddy, l'm lonely."

"Well, then c'mere."

Opening his arm she straddles his lap, arms wrapped around his neck. Her middle touches where its fucking best and she's clearly not wearing any panties. Pulling off the headset he throws it aside.

"Are you a lil slut tonight?" He whispers and she nods. "Do you want to keep daddy warm while he games?"

Again she nods and already goes to business as she pulls down his sweatpants.

By now he's hard, now twitching in his fist as she rubs him. She slides down, hugging him tightly in her wet vessel while they both moan.

Automatically his hips jerking up, his hand fisting her hair, kissing her deeply. Abusing her mouth she keeps swinging her hips down until he stops her with a harsh slap on her ass.

Instantly she stops, whining quietly as she goes back to sliding down completely on him. Closing his arms around her he starts the game again, now and then pressing a kiss to her cheek or shoulder.

"Y'know what? You aren't daddy's baby tonight, but his queen. I mean, look at ya sittin' on the damn throne." He whispers and feels her smile. Maybe that shit isn't too fucking bad, at least for now.

#negan #negan x reader #negan x y/n #negan x you #jeffrey dean morgan #negan smut

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neon-green-reagent · 4 months

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Buyer Beware: Cushing Curiosities

I don't normally do this. My aim is to keep things positive in this space, as much as possible. But I need to talk about the new Severin Films box set dedicated to Peter Cushing and basically beg anyone who loves Peter Cushing to not waste their money on this. When I saw they were, after multiple Christopher Lee sets, finally doing one for Cushing, I admit I got too excited and impulsively pre-ordered it. I have regretted it ever since. Okay, that's too strong. It was way too much money and time wasted on something that's about one-third good. One third is not enough, and even then I'm probably being too generous.

The box art and presentation are beautiful. If that's all that matters to you, then you'll be delighted. The GIANT book that comes with it is also really awesome. It's informative and thorough with a lot of really cool images. I can't deny that they really went above and beyond, turning a booklet into an actual book that is well worth owning. These are a couple of the highest points you're going to experience with this set. Let's dig into the movies.

Cone of Silence. Jesus, what a waste of fucking time. This thing was a slog. An absolute bore. If you care a whole lot about planes... Fuck, even then, you probably won't be able to sit through this, because it's so old-fashioned and drags its feet. Is this what thrillers used to be? I shudder to think. Cushing's role is small and that of a misguided villain character. He shows up to accuse a pilot of being bad at his job, gets put in his place at the end, and that's really it. I'll go ahead and make a blanket statement now that he's always good, always worth watching, but that doesn't make most of these movies worth sitting through.

Suspect. Here's a movie that goes around and around, struggling to get to the point, trying to imitate Hitchcock but without any of the style that goes along with that. Just stationary middle shots of people talking. But don't you worry, it's not just boring! Multiple characters make cracks about how women shouldn't be working in science (Cushing's character included, which makes this an utter loser of a movie to watch for his role). The "villain" is a man with a disability who eventually kills himself, and that's treated like a GOOD OUTCOME. Some movies are old. This movie is old-minded, and it brought what was already not very engaging down to a pile of shit for me. And again, a theme you'll notice, Cushing is a side character who isn't given hardly anything to do and little screen time. Oh, and Donald Pleasence shows up and makes this face: O.O

The Man Who Finally Died. So this was at least engaging. Maybe by this point the bar was just VERY low for me, but I actually enjoyed this. It had lots of twists and turns. Despite being pre-giallo, it had a lot of those storytelling conventions, so I found myself, you know... actually watching the movie instead of struggling to stay awake. The rewatch value feels low, because once you've experienced those twists and turns, they won't shock you next time. But at least it wasn't a total wash. AND ONCE MORE CUSHING WAS BARELY IN IT, SO REGARDLESS OF THE QUALITY OF THE FILM IT WASN'T REALLY A CUSHING FILM, WAS IT?

Sherlock Holmes. Ohhhhh God. This was not good. I managed one and a half episodes before shutting it off. I couldn't believe how shoddy everything about this was. It's a BBC Sherlock Holmes show! What happened!? I mean, I'm still not clear, but after some googling I did find out that Cushing was a fast replacement for another actor who was leaving in a huff. And the reason he left in a huff was because everything about the production truly sucked ass. It shows. And it didn't improve when Cushing came on. Everything was so clearly rushed. You can feel how everyone's just trying to remember their lines and where to stand, because they were given zero time to rehearse and prepare. I thought this would be a highlight of the set, but it's probably one of the worst aspects. At least Cushing is the main character?

Bloodsuckers. This was great. I can finally say something was GREAT. What a relief. Cushing is still barely in it, but at least it was entertaining. It's your standard, early seventies, vampire romp. With some psychedelic weirdness thrown in toward the beginning and lots of overly sexual shenanigans. In particular, Johnny Sekka gives a great performance, and in a more modern movie, they would have made the character gay as he should have been. Also, Edward Woodward shows up for a single scene and steals the entire movie. Definitely worth watching, regardless of Cushing's ten minutes of screen time. Even though I thought the point was for it to be a CUSHING box set...

Tender Dracula. Last but actually the best. This is an absolute ride of a movie. I loved it. My problem is this is such a crazy film, with tonal shifts galore and an unsensible plot, that I could actually see people hating it. It's a movie that is not for everyone, not by a long shot. It breaks the fourth wall, plays with stereotypes and tropes, throws out humor that sometimes lands and sometimes doesn't, and leaves your head spinning. Plenty of viewers might find the experience frustrating and not rewarding. I happened to love it and got a lot out of it, but it feels very poor for a movie like this to be probably the best thing about a shoddy box set. That's not exactly promising your customers the best they could get. BUT CUSHING IS THE STAR! Finally! One (arguably) good movie where he's the main attraction. Christ, that took long enough.

So what do we have after all that? A set of movies that, for the most part, only tangentially involve Cushing, with his name slapped on the side of the box. Trotting out a beloved actor who isn't here to approve of what's being done for a quick buck feels pretty damn gross. Severin has made a multitude of mistakes over the years in how they've conducted their business, but this is by far the worst of them. Even with the compliments I've given this set, do not buy it. It isn't even close to being worth the price point. The fact that I spent as much as I did on this leaves me shamefaced.

#peter cushing #cushing curiosities

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butwhatifidothis · 1 year

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You know, i've long wondered whether or not Fodlan being left in a miserable state after CF was intentional on IS's part or not; the fact that shit like “Edelgard ordered a historical play to be shut down just because she didn't like how it portrayed her” is pretty clearly meant to be seen as a “cute girl getting embarassed lol” moment instead of the blatant and horrific abuse of power that it is, along with the information that Edelgard installed a secret police and orders her henchmen to spy on her citizens only being revealed in a throwaway line in a random paired ending, with no acknowledgement of how fucked all that is, leads me to think this might have been unintentional.

Ehhh, I wouldn't say it's unintentional - there's a good bit more in 3H to show off how deliberately villainous Edelgard is. Off the top my head and not including what I already said regarding the endings, there's the facts that Edelgard:

is the only person to be readily okay with sacrificing her own citizens (with the only other people who do the same being TWS and a crazed Rhea who is visibly not mentally stable - a state which neither Edelgard nor TWS are ever in when they sacrifice innocents)

has her path be constantly riddled with direct links to the "need" for mass death ("the pool of blood at my feet," "the scarlet path" Hubert prepared for her to walk, "no matter how much blood flows at her feet" - yes, that is a completely different reference from the first link - etc.)

shares much of her motivation (destroying the Church and eradicating the Nabateans) with TWS

has her route be the only one where the story cuts to the other side so that you the player can see the effect your actions have placed onto the antagonists when you kill their close ones (Claude, Rhea, Dimitri)

is the only protagonist to be explicitly and violently racist

initiates extreme and mass violence for the explicit purpose of imperialism

Along with a myriad of other things, one being that she's, uh, literally called a villain by her creators lmao. And imo, 3H would have done a good job of writing her as such... if it weren't for what this other nonnie points out:

Man if you get rid of the uwu cutesy moments, Edelgard really is a sinister villain. The racism, the victim blaming, her desire for genocide, what you mentioned before about taking out anyone who opposes her and spying on her citizens, taking over a religion and remaking it your way i.e cultural erasure, getting rid of two countries' autonomy over revanchist nationalism. Like holy crap, how does anyone not see this and say "yeah that's definitely villainous". Oh right because she wanted to walk with you, isn't it sad ;_;? Seriously though, Intsys kinda dropped the ball here. Like we could've had a sinister villain and in bits and pieces we get that, but a lot of it is obscured by "I wanted to walk with you sensei~", and "I drew a sketch of you. Don't see it uwu." It's like having a cake with a great batter but you put all your effort on the hard frosting instead.

Her villainous behavior, methods, ideologies, etc. are all obfuscated by the ever-present need for her to still be a waifu that's marketable. Yeah, sure, she's realistically speaking a massive piece of shit to put it lightly, but she wants to walk with you :( and draw you :( isn't it cute when she screams at rats :) and she opens up to you that she's scared of rats actually she trusts you so much :) and she asks you if you're sure you wanna fight with her on CF she cares so much about giving you a choice ignore how choosing to NOT fight for her means getting murdered by her instead :) and look at how sad everyone is to fight her :( Doesn't that endear you, the player spending money on this game and its DLC and its gacha spinoff, to her, the cute waifu who's the main face of the game's marketing and who just cares about you the player oh so much?

It's not that her villainy is unintentional, it's that her marketability takes precedence over her character

#ask #anon #anti edelgard #anti-edelgard #edelgard critical #edelgard discourse #just to be safe #like her more uwu tendencies aren't as bad as... certain fans... make them out to be #but they are there and do detract from her character #so while there is very much NO DOUBT that in 3H she is very much a villain who does very clear villainous actions for villainous reasons #it's held back by the unfortunate ''necessity'' to make sure people want to spend money on her #so she can't go all in on the villain thing - she still has to be cute and wovable #since the writers - for one reason or another - clearly don't have faith that a villainous women *would* be marketable

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grigori77 · 9 months

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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 68

It always concerns me when the plug starts without any obvious gimmick ... Matt: "There it is." Ah yes ... it's gonna be about D&D monsterfucking isn't it? Oh dear ... and he's roped Liam into this too ... "I'm confused, is this what you think romance is?" Honestly, I think we're ALL concerned about what SAM RIEGEL thinks romance is ...

Liam: "I'm getting Death To Smoochy vibes over here!"

Holy shit! Robbie got an action figure! Dorian! Sweet!

Oh yeah, the sexy demon paladin ... XD

Preparing for rest in the cave, then. The Butcher's Bib? Oh gods ... what is Chetney planning here? And Imogen's fallen in the Hole ...

Ah, spoils ... so what IS the thing with this sword, then? Graz'tchar, the Luminary Blade? Hmmmmm ... oh, yeah, I'm totally not buying this shit for a second ... I bet it's really evil. Matt is DEFINITELY giving Travis another cursed sword ...

"Romance the sword! Romance the sword!" XD

Six inches wide on a 3 foot blade? This thing's like a fucking ANIME sword, isn't it?

And now FCG is attacking Chetney ON REQUEST ... Sam rolls a 1, just jams it in the CEILING. Yup ...

Ashton doesn't trust it. Ashton is all of us, clearly ... now it's offering HIM a bond? Okay ... the Council of Tal'dorei? Hmmmm ... yeah, he's just WEIRDED OUT and I don't blame him ...

The sword is now reeling off a story of its previous wielders ... and Ashton's commentary is very amusing ...

FCG casts Legend Lore? Ooooooooh ... "the Light is false"? Oh, okay then ... yeah, definitely a cursed sword! And FCG keeps it yo themselves. "Here you go Chetney!" Oh boy, here we go ...

NOW he's trying to convince Chetney NOT to trust the sword? AFTER giving it back?

Laura: "Chetney would totally fall for an Internet scam!"

Chetney: "It's just a sword, if it turns out to be evil we can just throw it in a lake and let someone else deal with it."

Romantic smut fiction action for Fearne, courtesy of Sam's flask ... ye gods ... LOL

Orym (to Baernie): "So this is the crew I run with now." XD

Making plans for getting back in the morning. Hmmmm ...

Ashton: "Chet, you get the least bit weird, I'm gonna crush your hand." Chetney: "Define weird." Ashton: "No."

Everything's gone red after they go to bed! Not good! Not good!

And now Imogen's having another storm dream ... great ... and now her mother's telling her to run! Definitely not good! Wisdom save ... Nat20! Nice!

Going to check out calm spots in the red stormscape ... herds of beasts running through valleys? "There's an ecology here ..." Whoa ... a presence behind her? It's her mother ...

She REALLY IS freeing Predathos ... Lillianna: "You deserve to be free." Imogen: "But at what cost?"

And she's BOOTED out of the dream ...

FCG communes with the Changebringer in their sleep? Or a spell? Hmmmmmm ... "Are you scared?" She is ... oh boy ... FCG: "Okay ... I'm coming."

Everybody completes a long rest. "YAY!!!" XD

Is Chetney dead? Has he DIED in the night? He has to ROLL to check? Oh boy ... yeah, he's still with us ...

He's calling the sword Char. Cute. Snd now he's attuned to it ... yeah ...

Heading out, then ... ah crap, there's a few demons scattered around. Time for stealth, then ... oh yeah, Pass Without A Trace! Good job, Fearne ...

Imogen remembering the dream ... and she's sick of it. She just wants it to go away, so she's on the side of the gods, looks like.

Once again, all signs are pointing for them to go to the moon ...

Now it's "Sir Chad"? Oh boy ...

Oh shit, it's heard of Ludinus ... crap ... it didn't trust him? Hmmmm ... the Matron of Ravens? Obviously it knows HER ...

Group Stealth Check ... here we go ... oh wow, Laura manages to roll a 1? Oof ...

Aha! A suitable tree, then ... time for teleport, then ... what, put folk in the Hole and then EVERYBODY goes at once? Seriously?

Oh wow, they're actually doing it ...

And now there are creatures coming ... everybody on the Hole! Now TELEPORT!!!

"Soaking"? Seriously?

Oh thank fuck that worked ... okay! Let them out of the Hole! Phew ...

FCG says hello to Scuffy ...

Leeta's deeply relieved to see Baernie alive ... yup, that's nice. :3

Nel? Oh, hello ... such a sweet reunion! D'awwwwww ...

Fixing up the cure ... here we go ... and they go heal her! Okay ... just in time, then ...

Ooooooh ... and it's WORKING!!! YAY!!! Yes, Keyleth is getting BETTER!!!

Yeah! Voice of the Tempest is BACK, baby! Oh nice! She is full on MENDED!!!

Kiki thanks Orym snd OH MY GODS this so clearly means THE WORLD to him right now. Oops ... okay, she's still not ALL the way back, but on the way, definitely.

Imogen Prestidigitates Keyleth's hair so she doesn't have bedhead any more. :3

Oh sweet! The Mantle! I love it ...

Yeah, I agree. Nice to have a win ...

Oh man ... Orym's being offered a chance to JOIN Keyleth on the balcony! Sweet! And he's being LAUDED!!! Oh my gods that's so awesome!

Oh yeah, Orym's like TOTALLY a hero to his people now. "Kaitiake!" YES!!! So cool!

Nice, time for a party! Yay!

Oh, they're meeting with the Voice NOW?!!! Okay then ...

Time for a break? Okay. Seems the smart time.

Sweet, Chapter 2 of Candela Obscura looks equally cool ...

And we're back ... so, the meeting! Here we go ...

Time to watch Marisha especially closely as this gets ever more meta for her ... XD

Ludinus went to the Dwendallian Empire? Hmmmmm ... grrrr, the Cerberus Assembly ... great, JUST what we need ...

Oh boy ... Orym's gonna tell her about Vax screaming in the Orb, isn't he? Crap ... yeah, he is ... oh fuck, here we go ...

The raven's perch? It's empty ... oh man! Tears! Tears, I swear ...

Yeah, she's got BEEF with the Matron. That's only fair ...

Oh wow, Fearne fawning over the demon paladin is just weirding Keyleth out, isn't it?

Imogen: "There's people on Ruidus!" Wow, she just blurted that right out there ...

Oh, okay ... Imogen Summons her Crimson Shade. Yeah ... oh, that's a lot more intense than last time ...

Whoa ... crazy muscular red shark man! That's just MENTAL ...

Yeah, Keyleth is FREAKED and it makes sense ...

And now Imogen's communicating with it ... it wants to SERVE HER "until her Binding is done"? Okay ...

A vision of a pale grey flower with a gem in it ... that's its NAME? Hmmmmm ...

Oh snap ... is this something they want or not? Hmmmm ...

Predathos is the PROGENITOR?!!! What the actual ...?

Wow, and now it's just GONE ... oh, and turns out Keyleth was totally ready to KICK OFF ...

Ah, so they want something MORE out of their lives, then ... that's ... interesting ...

Yeah, no shit Keyleth's been through this kinda shit before ...

Okay, so potential allies ... ooh, is she thinking about calling in the rest of Vox Machina? Yeah, that would be cool ...

Who else COULD they call on?

The Hishari? Here we go ... and Ashton mentions his origins ... yup ... oh okay, are we getting proper Ashton origin story revelations now? Go, Kiki!

Ooooh, this is gonna be good ...

Ashton is of TITAN BLOOD?!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!!

Whoa ... seriously, this is some QUALITY fresh infodumping ...

Keyleth: "The fact that you're standing here and functioning is a testament to your willpower." Yeah, no shit ...

So it looks like Ashton might basically have been the end result of what the Hishari were trying to do ...

The Shattered Teeth? Whoa ...

Keyleth admires FCG's optimism. :3

Marisha and her ridiculously convoluted notes strike again and its beautiful ... XD

Yes, the Gau Drashari ...

Yeah, the gods might well be a prickly issue with the Primordials ...

Ashton talked to an Earth Elemental ... oh yeah ... and Keyleth just nods knowingly ...

Wait ... Keyleth went to the Shattered Teeth once? Oh, I see ... when she was trying to free Vax from his debt? Hmmmm ...

Jirana? "Like a therapist"? Hmmmm ...

XD Travis trawling for a MAP of the Shattered Teeth ... oh, so they MOVE?!!! Hmmm ...

Showing Keyleth the Harness and Funnel and all of Ludinus' notes ... wait, so he's using this to MIMIC Keyleth's extended life thing? That's fucked up ...

"The Root" is at the base of the neck? Hmmmm ...

Ragging on Marisha's note taking ... XD

Sweet, the Whispered One ... yeah, Vecna gets a namedrop ...

Fuck ... hearing that name gives Laudna a VERY SPECIFIC chill ... O.O

Yeah, honestly it doesn't really make sense to think that Ludinus would actually be SEEKING godhood given what he's actually DOING ...

No, I don't think giving in would be a good idea, Imogen. PLEASE don't do that ...

Sweet, digging away at Percy, I love it ... XD

FCG tries to Scry on D. Okay ... somewhere on a coast ... the Menagerie Coast? Cool.

What, try Dancer instead? Hmmmm ... nor sure that's actually gonna work out too well ...

So he's gonna try it anyway, like a glutton for punishment ...

There she is ... just asleep on a random room ... no help AT ALL ...

FCG's gonna try asking the Changebringer who would be the better choice to help them out ... okay ...

The one they're "most bound to"? Well that's not very helpful at all ...

Trying again then ... oh this is ridiculous and we love it ...

Matt can't get past the idea that it's going through Sam's "arse mike" ... LOL

More vagueness ... oof ... yeah, Sam is just BURNING spell slots trying to get this to work ... yup, once again it's a total bust ...

Keyleth: "I'll tell you a story about a goldfish one day." OH MY GODS!!! LOL

Yeah, she needs a break, anyway. Best call it a day.

Keyleth tries to help Orym find a little peace and chill ... it's really quite sweet. "I see a bravery in you that matches the immensity of your heart." :3 This is just so adorable ... gods, she is being SO KIND AND COMFORTING TO HIM AND IT'S MAKING ME TEAR UP ...

Yeah, she needs a rest. Time to go, guys.

"Saviour Blade"? Sweet ...

Oh yes, tattoos could be cool ...

Demon concubine, maybe? I like that one ... XD

Yes. Good place to call it a night, Matt. Nice chill place to move on for next time ...

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urproblematicfav-arsonk · 2 years

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Let's talk about ep 4 and how Edward is kinda a huge dick.

It's entirely possible other people have talked about this but I haven't seen it and I'm an opinionated autistic person so fuck you here we goooo

So something I think is really interesting about this episode how actually very cruel and mean Ed is towards Stede.

The beginning of Ed's fuckary is seen first when he brings up the clouds to Izzy and then later when Lucius confirms the threat of the Spanish closing in on them. After that Ed tells Lucius to start the Dramatic Countdown™ that fucking exactly matches the fog nearly to the second which is completely insane btw. I don't think it was part of Ed's original plan to the identity swap but the intent was always the same

To publicly humiliate and hurt The Gentleman Pirate.

The plan was always to dramatically appear on The Revenge in blood and smoke. The Gentleman Pirate already humiliated and half dead only for the Great Blackbeard to show mercy for a time. Then because The Gentleman Pirate is clearly incompetent, when the Spanish arrive does he have a plan? No of course not, but wait,

I think when the identity swap happens the plan becomes a lot more cruel. Ed clearly likes Stede and is being open with him(largely because he knows he's going to destroy/leave him soon and thus no consequences)and then we get our cute moment of them pretending to be each other. Ed gets to have fun for a moment before shit goes down(like he planned)

Specifically I wanna walk about this scene.

And more specifically lol the noise Taika makes. Ed makes such extremely condescending "hmm :(" at Stede when his attempt at a plan clearly won't work. This whole scene is Ed pressuring and hurting Stede. He knows Stede isn't prepared as a pirate and he's known that before he even met him. He wants Stede to feel the pressure and fear he feels, to emotionally break him in so to say. He's mocking and belittling him and honestly seems to find it funny. And not only that it was all fucking premeditated because Lucius shows up to finish the countdown adding onto the extremely elaborate psychology torture that Ed has devised.

And then Ed's plan comes to fruition. Blackbeard comes in with his genius plan and saves the day. The crew cheer and praise him and The Gentleman Pirate stands a coward and a failure.

Of course that doesn't happen.

And I think its really fucking interesting that in the end it's actually Izzy who does to Ed what he was trying to do to Stede.

He humiliates him in front of the whole crew and proves that The Captain was incompetent with no plan.

Unlike Edward who never seems to show any remorse for how he treats Stede this episode, Izzy seems pretty fucking guilty after embarrassing Ed like that.

And no point during any part of the Fuckary does Stede seem to realize this was all Ed's plan. He's upset and stressed in the moment but seems to forgive and forget pretty quickly. I assume this is mostly because Stede is still starstruck by Ed and isn't going to be confrontational about it even if he knew.

AND NOW PART 2: Izzy Apologisim

I think its really fucked up of Ed to dangle Izzy future in front of him like that.

Izzy is so flustered and happy that Ed would pass down the mantle like that to him. That Edward would see Izzy insubordination and say "No you're right, thank you for calling me out" and then offer him the best possible promotion only to then say "lol nah" and walk away.

The immediate heartbreak on Izzy's face when he realizes that Ed was just fucking with him is so sad to me but what's even worse

Is the fucking pride he feels when he realizes that Ed's "needs him". In that moment being Blackbeard's first mate is a life far better then any chance at captaincy ever was. And I think that's honestly awful.

Repeatedly throughout the episode Izzy is shown to be extremely anxious and worried about their plan. Edward has at no point before or after the initial raid on The Revenge has shared his plan with Izzy. Izzy calmy asks over and over for Edward to just talk to him, to work with him and come up with a plan and EVERY time Edward shoots him down and then gaslights him like Izzy was the problem here and not Ed. There's no real reason for Ed to be hiding this. And the second Izzy realizes that Ed does in fact have a plan during the Dramatic Countdown™ he visibly calms down and is even upset with Pete for ruining Ed's moment.

"Once again I'll come up with a plan and when we barely get by" implies this is absolutely not the first time they've gone ass first into a situation that Edward didn't secretly have a plan for and Edward similarly here, didn't wanna come up with one leaving Izzy to panic and be forced to try to save them and their crew. Edward lies, avoids blame by being the hero and kills his crew for the chance to play dress up. I fully don't think Izzy is being irrational here at all. He's working with what he's got and Edward refuses to cooperate like Iz needs him too.

A lot of people seem to think that Ed is a tragic hero trapped by his own reputation and masculinity. But the thing is, Edward himself is always the one enforcing that concept.

He's the one who made a elaborate plan to fuck with one guy.

He's the only reveling in The Revenge's adoration and praise

He's the one who comes up with a completely unnecessary murder plot "for Izzy" when Izzy would've most definitely been ok with just Ed leaves and he becomes Blackbeard.

Edward's toxic masculinity is a idea he perpetuates himself for his own benefit. And in the very end it was Edward's choice to fall back onto that violence instead of what he had been trying to create

#the point is #ed is a nuanced and complex person #this isnt slander i do really like him #but i wanna talk about all parts of his character ya know #ofmd #our flag means death #my meta #character analysis #long post #ofmd ep 4 #edward teach #stede bonnet #izzy hands

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kobblefort · 1 year

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Rushsly: Final Preparations

Even if the "endgame" spoilers don't start in this episode, they are going to be talked about at length from this point on.

This is your last warning: if you want to find out what's at the very bottom of the world for yourself, do not read beyond this point until you have.

There are other valid reasons not to read this Let's Play, such as "thinking the author is a narcissistic maniac who spends more time trying to do bootleg therapy on themself than the actual game," or "being a bit weirded out by the whole kobold thing," or "just not wanting to read a novel-length stream-of-consciousness psychodramatic diatribe that is sometimes vaguely about a digital ant-farm." But I care far more about preserving the wonders of this game for the people who enjoy it than I ever will about appealing to the particularities of anyone who is already inclined to dislike me or my work, so one more time, endgame spoilers are just one click away here. If you want to see the bottom yourself, you should dig to the bottom yourself. If you like playing the game, I think it is something worth doing at least once. This will be my first time playing this content, but not my first time seeing it, and I kind of wish it was. Spoilers under the cut.

I guess I should apologize for how I ended the last episode. I had been feeling very weird and worked myself up acting like nothing had ever gone right for me. I'm feeling better now. I played a bit of the new Zelda game like everyone else - well actually I played it a bit before it released too, because I think Nintendo is evil and that pirating their games, even leaked ones, is ontologically good - that I refuse to financially support them by buying their products firsthand, even if I must get kind of a shitty 15-24fps version of the experience. I make no argument that their games are not good and fun and well-designed but I think many of their corporate practices are basically inexcusable, litigating a man into lifelong indentured servitude is some shit a pastor would make up a story about the devil doing, having a crack team of prosecutors called "Nintendo Ninjas" isn't cute or funny, it is inexcusably vile bullshit that speaks volumes about what kind of world we've built ourselves to live in, where our modern myths and fables are Intellectual Properties and Trademarks. I have been making lots of contraptions, none that particularly measure up to what you might have seen on the internet - some of them embarrassingly being made obsolete by the game's own built-in schematics just minutes after I finished devising them. I have also not been barbecuing the koroks or shooting them with lasers or blasting them off on rockets or anything like that. They are cute and funny little dudes and I have no particular interest in seeing them suffer. I read an article a while ago about how phenomena like the widespread Korok crucifixions are caused by the same sort of psychological response as how you kind of just want to bite things that are obscenely cute, because our human brains don't really know how to deal with the feeling of "this thing is too cute." At least, I imagine they have to be similar responses going on there.

Kerrik Perplexnightmares appears in the first cavern layer - clearly named by the ratfolk. It almost brings a smile to my face to think of it mauling the rat-bastards that so frequently besiege us, but just as soon it brings a frown to think about how its "deadly dust" might be able to slip through our fortifications. Fiva is also still fucking around on the second cavern layer, apparently still seriously wounded from its battle with the ant people; speaking of which, checking the "Creatures>Others" tab displays none of them, but none of them appear under "Dead/Missing" either. Whether they went back into hiding for another ambush, fled the caverns beneath Rushsly entirely, or were so thoroughly dismembered that whatever remains of them would not be recognizable as ever belonging to a sentient being is currently unknown, though the second option seems most likely and the third seems least likely. They did appear from the western-most edge of the second cavern, they could have just as easily left that way.

Its ability to stand and ability to grasp are apparently "somewhat impaired", and funnily enough, checking the "Treatment" tab lets us know that it needs diagnosis and a crutch. The only way the kobbles are giving the poor lobster bastard a crutch is by mauling it with one. Rushsly has truly become a violent fort, and I'll need to start designating a third military squadron as soon as this last window into the final cavern layer is completed. Which, in the tireless toil of kobble industry, it is.

We can see most all of it besides the northeastern corner, and still not a fucking trace of magma. If it does exist, it will be at the very bottom of the world.

Our newest crop of migrants brought with them quite a lot of kobbles who were already adequate in some form of fighting or another, if not competent or even accomplished. With 211 steel bars in reserve, and a whopping 1475 iron bars and 61 bricks of coke (not the kind that makes you scheme to start a massive Wal-Mart return-scam scheme that spans four states, lasts for six years and results in a net profit of over 868,000 dollars - the cool kind) in case we run through that, outfitting them is only a question of time, not resources. And yes, Kody wanted to call them "The Frigid Knots." Go ahead, make your furry porn jokes. But for what it's worth? I'm anti-knot. I'm anti basically any "animal style genitalia" besides hyena girls with huge dicks or like, shark furries with double dicks, but they should still be recognizably human. I guess maybe a little frond here or a little flaring there is fine but I don't know, don't get carried away man. Like you know when you see one of those artists who just draws dicks as little red or pink triangles? I can't stand that. And hell while we're at it, no feral shit for me either. I'm in this furry shit for definitively humanoid bitches with some animal aesthetics I'm not trying to jack off to an actual dog dick, that's gross to me. I'm not a cop but I'm allowed to be grossed out. Us old bastards call that "squicked." I'm allowed to be squicked. You can go back over my earlier posts for evidence of my arguably "weirder" fetishes if you want but I'm not going to give a shit because weird is subjective and I think you can obviously tell just from this paragraph alone that I'm kind of unconcerned with joining any sort of larger consensus on "normality." I've got my own "normality" going on and it works for me. I am incredibly normal: I am, after all, the average of all my traits.

The mine shaft that will lead us to glorious adamantite starts right here, just outside The Curled Pepper, but it won't start going too deep without some serious fortifications and a contingency plan in case we dig right into the final layer instead of hitting an adamantite vein. I have a plan for safely digging out the adamantite - as safely as one can dig out adamantite anyway - but before that step can begin, I want steel hatch covers and a backup set of steel doors in place. Though I'm completely prepared for Rushsly to fall on an emotional level, I would like that to simply not happen - being able to retire the fort once I feel I've had as much fun with it as I'm going to have would be a blessing. And what do we have to lose, should I carelessly fuck up?

Well, for starters, I haven't even begun on Dralas' Beast Slayer quarters lol fuck whoops!! Not that he's discontent with his four-tile chamber in the awkward set of bedrooms that I have been going out of my way to show because I hate them. And what sort of things go on in Dralas' life? Well, of his many passing acquaintances, being not even particularly close to other members of his squadron, he has made a friend:

Gatr Leagueknowing - Maybe he should know a better fucking game, LOL!!! Why are you playing an RTS where you only get to control one guy!?! Sorry - the Holy Fish of the Goldenrod Creed, who leads ceremonies in the Pale Chapel, actually has many friends, perhaps as a result of his liturgical duties, but...

He himself only considers Dralas a "passing acquaintance." Ouch

But there's not too much time to ponder the minutiae of kobbles' social lives - a third Forgotten Beast appears, this one joining Fiva on the second cavern layer. Wow, an eyeless lizard and an eyeless lobster. They're so similar I'm a bit worried they're going to fuck instead of fight.

But no lol obviously they fight. They fight hard, they fight fast, and then it's over. One must wonder how it would have turned out if Fiva managed to recover from its scuffle with the ant people, but that's not what happened. Ancoji Necroshafts the Fated (holy shit) escapes with a single bruise on its rear right foot. Fiva is the one I made that badass little intro graphic for, isn't it? Sorry to see you go out like that, Fiva, though I wonder if this might be a little more honorable than getting sniped through some fortifications by a kobble who doesn't even care about doing the deed. The 462-year-old lizard scratches right through the lobster's brain and it's all over.

All the way up top-side I notice these rabbit merchants and their guard have just been... stuck chilling in the trade depot for at least a month after their supposed departure. I pull up and then pull down the drawbridge to try and reset their pathfinding, I run dfhack fix/stuck-merchants a couple times, no dice. Also right after doing that I find out you're not actually supposed to run fix/stuck-merchants when you have merchants on the map, but ahh whoops I dunno, live and learn I guess. I should really read command descriptions before I make assumptions based on their name but to be fair like when merchants are stuck on your screen it really feels like that's what the command "fix/stuck-merchants" is for, how would I even actually know if merchants are stuck off my map? Well I really don't know what to do about that. It would be funny to just fucking kill them but they're cute little bunny people and I need to be minimizing the amount of enemies I have at any given time if I want to survive the dig for adamantite.

We commission Agcu Riu: "the Fall of Beaks" for Dralas' bedroom. It doesn't look like we'll be able to find aluminum any time soon, but one with iron walls, billon floors and a gold "welcome mat" seems more than well-appointed enough.

Our Hammer Lord On decides to name her shield "The Confusing Famine." I kind of wish she'd grown attached to a steel one instead, but I suppose the tools you're comfortable with are always better than the more expensive, flashier ones. Right? Well I don't know because steel is literally stronger than iron, but oh well. This is the second object a soldier has named, after Ace Steel's steel battleaxe "Styletongues." Looks like things are going well for them, and they'll soon have company in their barracks: even though no training orders have actually been given yet, some members of The Frigid Knots have already grown antsy enough to pick out their weapons and armor.

Quite a few masterworks have been created in the new batch of weapons, and checking who made them makes me realize that Orml really ought to be appointed to the military: she's a legendary fighter, legendary observer, and master spearbold after all. The Frigid Knots will do well to have a master among them to learn from; it should hopefully bring the less skilled of the group up to speed a bit faster.

Ancoji has been sitting perfectly still this whole time after finishing off Fiva. Up on the first cavern layer, Kerrik just slowly swims around. Menacingly... as menacingly as a giant frog can get.

Training finally begins for TFK.

The final shaft is almost ready. A tight security protocol will be enforced whenever any adamantite mining operations are going on. The outer steel doors, inner steel doors, hatch covers on Z-90 and hatch covers on Z-91 will all be sealed for the entire length of time that a mining team is in the shaft. This is to buy a construction team enough time to wall off the shaft entirely if it becomes necessary. As I've already stated, if we break through at the wrong spot, we have a matter of single frames to react accordingly, and two or three miners' lives are, unfortunately, a fair trade to keep the other 100+ kobbles safe from the possibility sudden violent and painful death. In the event that we are not able to seal off the bottom layer for any reason, we will have no choice but to draw up the above-ground and below-ground bridges to cut off access between Rushsly and the greater world entirely. What we find down there could literally doom the entire Dimensions of Portent if we do not immediately take the proper cautions to contain it. Maybe I'm being overdramatic. Maybe I'll wish I was even more dramatic later. All I can know for sure is the general gist of what lies at the bottom of the earth, and how dangerous it can be. -114 is the deepest depth of the pools in the third and final cavern layer. From -115 to -129, anything could happen. Vast and impossible riches guarded by incredible beasts. An ocean of magma to spew forth, a relatively painless and uneventful adamantite-and-diamonds mining experience.

In interest of not taking for-fucking-ever and having the group awkwardly split up, miners will be moved to these admittedly quite shit barracks on -90, and the burrow system will be used to keep them from fucking off all the way up to near the surface until such a time as the final layers are exhausted. The marksbold squad are training hard just below The Curled Pepper, ready as they'll ever be for whatever comes next.

Through me you enter into the city of woes; through me you enter into eternal pain, through me you enter the population of loss. Abandon all hope, you who enter here. "Inferno" is actually very funny for a lot of different reasons, but that quote still goes hard as fuck, you can't not like it. I know this has been kind of a shorter episode, maybe you're glad about that, but this seems like a good place to cut it. I want to have as much room as possible to let whatever might transpire next breathe.

#dwarf fortress #kobblefort #df spoilers

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xtrablak674 · 1 year

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Trust, it isn't what I wanted to do, its what I had to do.

September of 2019 was the last time Aunt Mary saw her sister alive.

At this time to be frank, she was still in denial of her sister's spiraling Alzheimer's, I had sent a book to her that I found useful but I was met with open defiance and hostility. This trip in which she was accompanied by her niece Rosemary, was a chance for her to assess with her own eyes her sister's debilitation. You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

This was the beginning of my very reluctant care giving. I had hired two aides, one for the weekdays and one for the weekend. The Thai woman I hired never showed up for her first shift, so Ms. Stewart was left in these first few weeks working seven days a week, exactly what I didn't want. But I was trying to make it work, while I hired someone new.

From the photos everything looks so 'normal' but this time was anything but normal. I had barely rescued my father's mother from being placed in a care facility by her cousin, who was overwhelmed with her caregiving. I assessed that she had enough lucidity, presence of mind and didn't wander, to still be on her own in her home with daily assistance. Outside of the meals she was getting at the senior center she had begun to forget to eat, and was losing weight. We had soon discovered we needed to prepare meals for her, and put her in front of them. These were the early days just a glimmer of what was to come.

This was prior to my installing cameras and motion sensors in the house and I was curious about if my father's mother actually slept through the night when the sun went down. Her sister would answer this question, so I would know what the length of the shifts should be for the aides.

Trying my best to be inclusive in these early days, I was looping the cousin that was overwhelmed, and her sister into her caregiving, this would prove to not be tenable because someone backseat driving from another state nearly a thousand miles away wasn't helpful, or even necessary and the cousin really wanted to wash his hands of the entire matter due to his having to be the caregiver for his first wife, who ultimately died. I was the only one with clarity to give this woman the care she needed, not being motivated by anything else other than being a decent human being.

youtube

We were trying to figure out her care as a 'family' and I use that term very loosely, because albeit her caregivers were related, we weren't a family. After I think the third day of the visit, I got a call from Ms. Stewart the aide, telling me that Ms. Mary and Ms. Sadie were arguing a lot and Ms. Sadie's appetite had dipped significantly and she had lost like twenty pounds since her sister had come to stay. She was already extremely underweight the last thing I needed was her losing more weight. So I did what I needed to do.

I called her sister and told her that she couldn't stay with her sister anymore because it was negatively effecting her mental health and well-being, and more importantly she had lost a significant amount of weight since her arrival. I keep using just aunt, but Aunt Mary is my Great Aunt, she is my father's mother's sister, and around this time I believe she was in her early eighties and I am clearly not anywhere near her contemporary. I had to use my standing as grandchild, next of kin, health proxy and power of attorney to stand up for her sister's rights.

This was the most unpleasant situation I ever had to be in in my adult life, telling the sibling of the person I was caring for that they had to leave her house. Well to say this ended my relationship with Aunt Mary is an understatement. Soon after this our communications ended because she felt the need to be berating, critical and nasty in our correspondence, and I refused to be shit on, so I ended them entirely hoping this would give her a cooling off period, that never came. I wasn't going to be taking care of a person who I had an extremely toxic relationship my entire adult life and on the other end of that have her in-denial sister spewing venom at me daily. #NoMaam

I later learned that she also became estranged from the cousin, who was the primary caregiver before I stepped in. It seemed she not only had she alienated me, who her children knew was her favorite nephew, but she also pissed off her cousin who had been so devoted to her ailing sibling, going above, beyond and out of his pocket to take care of his cousin.

In hindsight, I think she was feeling her own mental capacities diminishing and seeing some of her own fears and doubts reflected in her sister, this made her grossly aware of her own mortality and possibly her own early onset dementia, frankly not an easy place to navigate emotionally.

Long before her sister finally died, somewhat peacefully at home, I had decided I wasn't attending the services either in New York or the final internment in South Carolina. My personal animosity towards the person I was forced to care for made me very aware of what I needed emotionally and mentally, and that wasn't condolences for a woman I didn't care for. My biggest lost through out the situation wasn't her, it was my relationship with the woman I would tell to all my friends was my favorite aunt, my Aunt Mary.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

#caregiving #dementia #alzheimers #end of life arrangements #family history #mortality #black #family #estranged #hostility #raised emotions #self care #broken relationships #family drama #adulting #mental health #Youtube

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lovemesomesurveys · 2 years

Text

How are you doing today? It's only 5:20AM, but so far my nagging cough Is acting up which isn't fun.

What day of the week is it? It's Sunday.

What's something you used to believe in that you don't anymore? So much has changed within just the past 6 years, things I never saw coming or was prepared for and not in a good way. So many setbacks. There was a time I thought I'd actually do something with my life, but now… it's hard to see past all this.

What do you admire most in a person? Motivated, ambitious, driven type people.

What's your favorite dinosaur? I don't have one.

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as? No.

What are 3 scents that you like? The ocean/beachy air, coffee, garlic.

Do you ever use the grounding technique 54321? I've tried it a few times before.

What's the silliest thing you've gotten injured from? I know there's several incidents, but of course I can't think of any at the moment.

What's the weirdest food combination you enjoy? The first one I always think of is eggs and ranch. shrug

Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence? Uhh. I have no idea.

Do you play any instruments? No.

What is an unpopular opinion you have? Sushi is disgusting.

Have you ever done a crazy dare? Nope.

What's your favorite type of cheese or cheese substitute? I loveee cheese. Various types.

What are things you still enjoy from your childhood? Some of the same music, shows, movies, foods… I really, really miss that time of my life.

What smells better.. fresh baked bread or fresh brewed coffee? Aw, both are lovely but I gotta stick with my pal coffee.

What's the oddest text you've received recently? I actually received some sexual spam texts a few weeks ago like wtf?

What's something you believe everyone should have? Of course ideally it'd be our necessities

What's the first thing you do once you get home from a trip? I'm the person who unpacks as soon as I get home.

What has been the worst kitchen mishap you've made? Starting a small oven fire.

Do you know how your parents met? Yeah, they were coworkers at the time.

Do you believe love is blind? It can be.

If you could get away with it, what crime would you commit? I don't want to commit any crimes.

If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve? Nah.

Have you ever met a president? Nope.

What food tastes better than its appearance to you? Probably how mashed potatoes end up looking up on my plate cause I put so much gravy, so it ends up just looking like a glob of brown stuff lol.

Do you actively post on social media? Tumblr is the one I actively and consistently post on, both my personal and this one.

What was your favorite childhood book? I loved Nancy Drew, Goosebumps, The Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley High, Judy Blume books, Beverly Clearly books…. how young are we talking? If younger, then books like Little Critter, Arthur, Barenstein Bears…

Do you ever experience intrusive thoughts? I think everyone does.

What do you consider to be the smartest animal? Apparently, Octopus are.

What movies make you laugh the most? Hmm. I don't know.

What's a product you use everyday that you wish you could get a lifetime supply of? Currently, there's several medical products I have to use and unfortunately my mom has to pay out of pocket for a lot of them and I feel bad because shit is expensive and quickly adds up.

What's the best name you've heard a pet named? shrug

What always makes your day better? It's been rough, ya'll…

Would you rather have multiple hobbies or 1 true passion? I like having different things to choose from to do for hobbies, but having a passion is entirely different to me. I haven't felt passionate about anything in a long time. :/

Coffee or tea? Coffee. It still trips me out that I don't drink it everyday like I used to for so long.

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones? No.

Would you say you're good at saving money? I can be, but man I'm such a sucker for Boxlunch and Hot Topic sales. They consistently have really good sales, plus they have their Lunch money/Hot Cash.

Have you ever ridden in the front of a roller coaster? Yeah. The only roller coasters I do is the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and the Cars roller coasters at Disneyland.

Would you rather have free massages for a year or facials? Meh.

When was the last time you've had an adrenaline rush? I don't even remember.

Have you ever used a whole chapstick? Honestly… I don't think so.

Has anyone ever given you a gag gift? Yeah.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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vannybarber · 3 years

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Know Your Place

Summary: Christopher Jamal Evans puts your ass in place.

Chris Jamal Evans x Reader

Warnings: SMUT, cursing, aggressive behavior (nothing serious), mentions of cheating, implied smut, degrading.

This is based off of Barbershop: The Next Cut with Terri, Rashad, and Draya, with their whole situation😂.

"Just get in the damn car and meet me at the house. We're not doing this here."

"Fine!" You rush around to your car door and slam it shut once you get inside. You watch Chris go to his, also slamming it shut but not for the same reason as you. You were more so the reason.

Starting the car and driving off with him right on your tail, you turn the music up to drown out the many cars that honk at your recklessness and poor wheel skills. If only they knew, they would be acting just like you.

You had come over to the building where Chris was shooting a movie with his female costar, Melanie. You absolutely despised her because she often came onto Chris. Both infront of you and when you weren't around. Of course he shot her down every time because he knows better. He knew you weren't the one to be played with.

But today, when you didn't see him as soon as you walked inside the shoot, you scan the room for Melanie. Not seeing her either, you began to roam around through the halls. You look in a room and see his stuff on a couch inside. You walk into the room calling his name.

"Chris? Baby, where you at?" You check in the bathroom and its empty. "Boy, I got your nasty seafood salad. Where the hell are you?" You scan the room one more time before smacking your lips and heading to the door.

Chris was in the closet changing when Melanie came in trying to feel up on him. He was getting ready to finally cuss her out, but he heard you yelling for him and so he freaked, shutting the door. He specifically told her not to make a sound and she followed orders, up until the last minute.

As you hit the threshold, you hear something hit the floor. The sound seemed to have come from the closet. You pause, scared at first because it was evident that no one was in the room except you. But then you grow suspicious because Chris and that bitch were both missing. You turn around slowly and stalk towards the door.

Chris was fuming when she knocked the box over, but then started to freak when he heard you walking over to the closet door. He gave her the look with a mix of panic and 'I'm gonna fucking kill you'. He sees the door handle turn and prepares for your wrath because you damn sure were gonna give it to him.

You open the door and there was your man and Melanie. Her hands were covering her mouth, eyes wide. Your eyes relocate to Chris and his shirt was halfway on his torso. He clambers to get it fully in, stepping towards you and away from her.

"Babe, just listen and you'll understand everything. She came in while I was changing and-" he doesn't get a chance to finish, for your voice overpowered his.

"You got five seconds to explain to me what the fuck you're doing." You hand is still on the door, not planning on letting them out the closet just yet. Chris was confused, but discerned that you weren't talking to him. You were talking to Melanie. He looks back at her and she was now biting her nail, clearly anxious.

"Look, Y/N, I really don't want any problems." She is trying to be straight about it, but her voice is fastened with fear. She knew exactly what you were capable of and she still is trying to bullshit you.

"You don't want want no problems? You've been trying to sleep with my man since the first day you found out you were working with him!" You must look like boo boo the fool for her to think she was pulling this shit on you.

"And as for you Christopher," you turn towards him, jabbing your finger in his chest, "what the hell are you thinking? Are y'all just lying to me and actually messing around?" You had no problem whooping both their asses.

"Y/N no! Listen, she came inside the closet while I was changing and I was going to kick her out, but I heard you coming and I just...freaked out." He's trying to dissolve the situation, but is only making it worse.

"You instead of coming out, you decide to stay in there with her? You see how this is worse right? You're just giving her the benefit to think she could even get with you. This is entertainment for her. Don't you realize that?" Now your hand was off the door and balled into a fist because you were 2.5 seconds from losing it.

"Baby, I was going to put my foot down this time. I know its long overdue, but I didn't want any issues with the people I work with. And I should've realized how unfair that was to you. I'm sorry. But don't think I would ever cheat on you." He grabs your arm and pushes you back so he could get out the closet.

"Yeah, you damn right. All this could've been avoided. She's harassing you. You need to report her ass!" You snag your arm away from him and point back at her, who's now trying to ease out of the closet. You catch her and she runs off, you not far behind. You damn sure were not a runner, but you were going super sonic right now.

She turns down she same way you came to find them and Chris is right on your ass too. You guys get to the front of the building and you lunge for her, but no contact was made for Chris had you in a hold. You brawl against his wide chest and eventually give up when he doesn't let go.

People are watching in absolute shock and some even were laughing their asses off. It would've been even funnier if Chris had let you get one hit in. Of course that didn't happen since he scooped you up with minimal effort.

"Y/N chill! Stop, you're making a fucking scene!" He grabs on your flailing arms, yanking them back.

"I don't give a shit! Let me get her. Just one good time," you plead and scream at the same time. He literally drags you away outside with great struggle since you weren't giving in. When he got you out there, you accepted your defeat and he let you go, watching you extra closely in case you pulled a fast one.

"You should've let me get her! Why the hell you stop me?!" He runs his hands through his hair, obviously frustrated and very much embarrassed. But you could care less. She needed her ass whooped.

"It's not worth it. We need to go now!"

"I don't have to go anywhere!" You could give less of a fuck if the onlookers labeled you as 'the angry black woman'. Because infact, you are a black woman. And damn right you were angry.

"Just get in the damn car and meet me at the house. We're not doing this here!"

"Fine!"

After reminiscing over the lovely previous moments, you pull up at your even lovelier home. You hop out the car and open the gate. Walking back to the car you peek and see Chris with his arm against the window, leaning on it and watching you. For sure he had a headache by now.

Instead of pulling up all the way into the driveway, you park at the end, leaving no room for Chris to drive in.

"Really? Pull all the way in!" You sit for a minute with your arms crossed for a bit of rebellion before complying like a child. Only because you didn't want to walk the extra way to the door of course. When you park again, Chris pulls in and gets out to shut the gate.

You were already unlocking the door and stepping in, but before you could slam it in his face, he was right behind you. You toss the keys and kick off your shoes.

"Where are you going?" You hear him call from the front of the house.

"None of your business." You were just going to the fridge to get your pineapple juice. You drink it almost every single day. And you definitely needed some right now.

"Okay we need to discuss what the fuck just happened. What the hell was that Y/N?" He's standing across the kitchen island from you staring in anger.

"Well for one, I caught you in a closet half naked with that bitch after I called your name repeatedly. Then she's playing in my face and you're trying to defend her! You really need an explanation for my actions, Chris?" You close the bottle and slam it on the counter.

"Look Y/N, I explained to you what happened. I am sorry. I knew that if I had came out that closet with her, you'd still react the same way, probably even worse. I was literally fearing for my life, no joke." He puts his hands up in surrender. You almost laugh.

"I rather you just have came out and told me straight up. Yeah, I would be mad of course. Who wouldn't? But you made it more difficult yourself." You still have an attitude and even though he apologized, you still wanted to be mad.

"Baby, I tell you you're beautiful everyday. Why? Because I want you to know that no other woman could ever be at the level you are for me. I want you to know that you're the only one I see and there isn't anyone else for me." He's now standing infront of you, his 6'0 figure imposing over your frame.

You can't and won't lie that those words had you in your feels. You swear, Geminis really are sweet talkers. You could've gave in right then. But not just yet.

"You sound like a real bitch right now." You fold your arms and look at him with testy eyes. You slightly regret saying that because what he said was genuine. But who are you without some back talk?

His eyes go caliginous. You've only seen this a one time when you've stepped out of line with him. Your big mouth could argue for days, but you never held a grudge. You kind of forced yourself to keep going as if you were still upset. Stubborn was an understatement.

You scratch your straightened hair nervously before flattening it back down. You internally hope it wasn't obvious that you lamented what you had just said.

"I already apologized to you and explained what happened. Now you can be mature and we can have a real conversation or you can be childish and act like you're still upset and we can end it right here." He steps closer to you, if that's even humanly possible. "But this is will be the first and last time you call me a bitch. Got it?"

He's breathing heavily on your face. If only you could see your face right now. It would read shock, with a bit of fear. He never checked you like this and let you get away with a lot. But this right here, was well deserved. But the way he's over you and his voice lowering with a sharp tone had you...turned on.

Something about him putting you in place made you wet and excited. All the fear had vanished almost immediately. You finally respond.

"Yes," you say quietly, nodding your head. "I'm sorry." Your eyes remained on him looking up through your lashes nibbling your lip. If only you knew what it was doing to him.

The sight of your body go automatically submissive to him after he got firm with you threw him in a complete frenzy. He was dominant most times, but you had many moments where you didn't back down to a challenge and took the lead. You not clapping back and apologizing threw him off a slight bit, but did not disappoint him. It turned him on.

"Good girl." He grabs your arm, spins you around so that your back is turned to him and bends down next to your ear.

"Go into the room, take off everything but your panties and lie on the bed. Mkay?" He moved his hands behind your arm to your lower back. You might as well save yourself the embarrassment and take off your panties too because once he sees the tropical storm, it's a wrap burrito. But you nod your head in compliance.

He gives you a smack on the butt and pushes you forward. You walk the rest of the way to the room and follow his exact orders. You remove every clothing item except the saltwater cloth covering your most needy part. You lay on the bed and wait for him.

He comes in a few moments later and eyes you down, making sure you followed his instructions. Of course you would. He stands in front of the bed and starts to remove his clothes. The entire time his eyes alternate from your body to your eyes. It made you nervous, but still excited.

"I'm very much used to your little tantrums and what not, but there's a limit. And when you pass that limit and step out of line, you need to be taught a lesson." He's in just his briefs by the end of his sentence and crawls in the bed.

You adjust yourself onto your back, shamelessly welcoming him to help himself to you. He positions in between your legs and lowers his face to yours, lips gliding against yours and pulling back when you try to kiss him. You pout and he smirks a little.

"Tell me what you want, honey" he whispers as he rubs up your leg to your thigh, grazing his fingers against your soaked panties. Just when you thought you couldn't get any wetter. Damn.

"I want you to touch me. Please." Your hands are gripping the sheets just thinking about his hands on your body. You completely forgot about messing up your hair as you throw your head back when he starts circling his fingers on your clit.

"I'm starting to think that this isn't very punishing for you, sweetheart." He picks up pace and reaches for your boob, kneading it full in his palms. "You seem to really be enjoying it. A little too much."

You weren't even listening to him, only chasing your orgasm, rolling your hips against his forceful touch. You successfully make it a few seconds to cumming before he snatches his finger away. You pick your head up right away, looking appalled.

"Why'd you stoooop?" you whine out. He looks at you innocently.

"Hmm that's just something us bitches like to do." Before you could respond, he flips you over and smacks your right cheek. "These have been on way too long." He pulls your panties off quicker than Pietro Maximoff. Tossing them to the floor, he starts his teasing.

"Damn, Y/N. All this is for me? If this doesn't tell me you loved the beginning of your lesson, I don't know what does."

He drags his fingers through your wet lips, coating them with your wetness. He brings his hands to his face to taste the mess you made for him.

"Hmm. That pineapple juice is kicking in fast."

The entire time he's talking, you're moving around coding him to stop teasing you and do something to make you feel good.

"You really are a desperate whore, huh?" You moan in the sheets in agreement. You were never into name calling, but it was something with Chris that made you love it.

He lowers down to your pussy, breathe frisking over it. You shiver and wait for him to start.

"As much as both you and I would love this, you don't deserve it. So ass up." You internally start cursing him out, calling him all things forbidden. But you comply and slightly lift your lower half.

Chris gets directly behind you and lines up with your entrance. When did he even take his briefs off? You inhale sharply at the contact and moan as he slips inside you with little to no effort. He fills you quick, starting his thrusts right away.

Your left cheek is against the mattress and both hands are gripping the sheets.

"Oh my- fuck!"

"How's it feel baby?" He asks you, going deeper at every thrust back inside you. Between the loud claps of your bodies, your pornographic moans and the sounds of your WAP, he knew the answer.

"It feels so good Chris" you manage to get out between breathes that were suddenly hard to take. You suddenly get a hard slap on your right cheek, making you squeal.

"That's not my name." You quickly correct yourself.

"Sorry..Daddy."

"Look at this" he starts thrusting faster, both of you not far from climax.

"Just an hour ago you were bitchin' about me and now you're basically grovelling at my feet. You can barely make a word. I guess I'm not such a bitch now, huh? " He locks your arms behind you and you automatically lift your ass up further, helping him slide in you even easier.

"No Daddy, I'm s-sorry." He groans and grabs a fistful of your hair and leans down to your ear. Normally you would be pissed because he touched your hair, especially since it was just done. But you could give less of a damn right now.

"Yeah I bet you are. Would a bitch be fucking you like this? Hm?" He pounded into you hard at every word. Your face in the mattress, you let out a scream that would have the neighbors dialing 911.

"No, baby- oh GOD" you yell, right at your peak. Just a couple more thrusts away and you were gone. Chris recognized that yell. He wanted to send you off right.

"Go ahead and cum for me baby. But just remember,"

He was right behind you and close himself.

"No matter how smart you get with me, at the end of the day, you're always gonna be a little slut for me." The last 4 words sent you over the edge and you cum all over him. He doesn't fall short and fills up the rest of you.

"Fuuuck" he let's out as his seed spills inside you.

His body collapses next to you and you find the energy to move your body. You turn and look at him with this dumb smile on your face. He reciprocates with the same dumb smile and pats down your hair. You slap his arm, turning your nose up at him.

"Ow. Why'd you do that for?" He rubs his now red arm.

"That's what you get for messing up my hair. You're gonna give me money to get it done again." Remembering, you hit his arm again.

"Baby, what the hell?"

"That's for also making me leave my pineapple juice out the fridge."

Idek what I was doing here 😭 This is the kind of stuff I daydream about, but it never looks as good written out ��

masterlist

#cevans #chris evans #avengers #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #captain america #chris evans fluff #chris evans smut #chris evans fic #chris evans imagine #chris evans x black reader #black reader #christopher jamal evans

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arcadejohn127-9 · 3 years

Text

Sorry the post reached its word limit so I have to add the undateables in a different post! Happy valentine's everyone!!!

Pt.1 = Demon brother's

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Mini golf, it was both surprising and unsurprising

He was able to ditch the suit he wore normally to more comfortable clothes

Enjoying the strange golf courses Wincing everytime he shot one too far and completely lost the ball

You were getting better scores than him and he a better player!

"will you guide me on this one? I think I'm going to hit it too hard again."

You smiled, happily moving behind him and putting your hands on his

You helped him control his swing and to no surprise it was a perfect shot

"perhaps I should guide you every turn, you're a pro."

"if it isn't (Y/N), who's this? I don't think we've met."

"go away, I don't have time for you."

Dia immediately recognised your ex, hiding his annoyance behind a smile and shook their hand

"I'm their boyfriend, we're currently on a date, so if you'll excuse us."

He tried to usher you both along but your ex grabbed his hand

"let's not end this so soon, I was close with them, don't you want to share stories?"

"No-"

"I'll go first, as an ex wanting to help you out! Don't bring up a single issue to them, they won't help you at all, they always told me I was overreacting."

You groaned, clutching your golf club tightly

"because you were, threatening to hit me over not wanting to hear you complain about your side girls not texting you back is an overreaction."

"always spinning stories! This what I mean, you just need to be prepared to be in that kind of relationship with them, they'd only Respond to yelling."

"you're the only one who would listen when yelled to and would just yell at me because you could, you're a horrible person and you should leave right now-"

You wanted to hit them with your golf club, fuming at how they talked about you

"they've been very good to me and I've never had to raise my voice at them, perhaps you were the issue."

His voice was still so kind that your ex almost didn't realize what he said

"such a shame they've already gotten to you - oh we need to move, watch me play okay?"

They winked at the demon, strutting off to their new golf site

"let's play but I won't bother you to guide me."

"it's no bother-"

Dia took a strong strike, the ball flying off and hit your ex in the head

But another flying golf ball was already being sent their way

"Sorry! You just look like target with seeing how much you open for mouth, here I'll give you my club as an apology."

He 'accidentally' did it too hard and sent his club flying in their direction, they just missed it

They screamed at him for being crazy but he just kept his sweet smile

"so you're actually a great shot on your own."

"guilty, I just wanted you to hold me."

Barbatos:

Aquarium, it feels fitting seeing he's also a serpent demon .

You held his gloved hand, pointing out towards the colourful fish that caught your fancy

"there are remarkable species I'm sure you've yet to have seen in the Devildom, Perhaps I'll take you to see them."

"really??!! I'd love to!"

He admired the dolphins that swam across the open space around the hallway, watching the way it delved back into the water

"this is embarassing, is that really you?!"

"oh no...."

"it is! When I found you disappeared I thought it was because of me! But here you are and with you're- whoever this is."

"I'm the boyfriend."

He nudged you away from your ex, his mood already sour

"boyfriend?! Already...? What a shame you moved on so quickly, I've been thinking about you."

They caressed the side of your cheek but you just slapped their hand away

"yeah right, leave us alone - I don't want to be around you."

"don't even think about insulting them, are you really going to bring up the past as a way to hurt them just because they've refused you?"

"h-huh-?! What are you- I wouldn't do such a thing!"

"oh...? So you weren't thinking of bringing up the time they use to 'love' you Touching them and was just 'shy' about it? Knowing it'll get a rise because you know that they didn't like your touch."

"how did you-?!"

"I know alot about you and what you plan to do, it would best you step away now before I set your fate in stone - swimming with the fishes."

He towered over them, their back pressing against the tank glass,

their eyes glancing to the fishes behind them

They let out a nervous laugh

"right....well I'll be going then, goodbye (Y/N)."

Solomon:

A fire works show - meant you could spend the mornings doing whatever you want but the night?

That's when you two went Speeding

You kept your scarf close to your face, it being a chilly night

You kept your hand intertwined with your boyfriend's, in awe at the fireworks

"They're not very close are they? i could make fireworks."

He shook his star wand, you were thankful it looked like a toy

"Sol, you can't just use magic when there's a small inconvenience."

"fireworks-!"

Soon enough fireworks came bursting out closer to where you two stood, still a safe distance away but seeing as you didn't get the best spot in the crowd

It was much cooler to see them closer

"No way!!! You're back in town?! I thought you left for good!"

It was almost hard to hear your ex over the fireworks

Solomon gave them the side eye as he clutched your hand

"I know have devastated you were after the breakup, seriously didn't think you'd disappear, I bet that you died or something!"

"do you have nothing better to do?! I'm trying to enjoy the fireworks with my boyfriend."

"Him?! You going for witchy hippies?! Wooow your taste has just stayed shit, hasn't it?! This is why you need me back, I actually gave you good taste!"

"You made me listen to country rap that all sung about beating women - I've upgraded!"

You shuffled closest to Solomon, ignoring your ex as they kept trying to pester you

"Can you stop being such a- are you kidding me?! You're never going to change- don't - ignore- you stupid bi-"

The more they began to yell the more powerful fireworks Solomon set off

Almost completely blocking out you exes screams

It got to the point there had to be a fireworks break due to how hectic it got

"this is dumb, I'm leaving." They huffed as you continued to ignore them

"how fortunate, I'm sure I could of started a fire from all that."

"like a fire would of stopped you, thanks for blocking them out."

He kissed your cheek, smiling

"my pleasure~"

Simeon:

He took you ice skating, unfortunately you were terrible at it whilst he was fine

You were both wrapped up warm as he helped you skate across the rink

Your legs wobbled and you slid to face your almost fell over

"hahah, you're adorable but don't worry, you'll be a master of it by the end of tonight."

You slowly got the hang of it, gripping his arm whilst he just smiled, enjoying being so close to you

"i think I got it-! Wait no no no don't let go!"

Just as your small victory gave you a big smile it immediately dropped when your ex skidded over

"What are you odds of you being here, I see you still can't skate."

"so what? You want to bother me about skating? Why not go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone."

They just laughed

"so insistent, if that's what you want~"

They skated past you, bumping into you and you immediately went flying into the ice

Happy you kept your hands close to your face as another skater zoomed by

Simeon hastily helped you back up, dusting Ice off you

"Let's sit down, maybe they won't be here for long."

He helped you off the ice and you both sat on a bench, he got you a warm drink before sitting down

But it wasn't over, your ex coming to where you were sitting still in the rink

"sorry about that, it was a total accident I swear - tell me (Y/N), what made you come here? I bet you were stalking my page again, wanted to see me?"

"no, I just wanted to have a date with my boyfriend."

"It would be best you left us alone, your presence clearly isn't wanted."

"neither was your opinion, from past lover to new, watch yourself because they will destory your heart and your life - nothing will ever be comfortable or happy with them."

"that is untrue-"

"really? Is it? We all know they just like to use people for their kindness and leave them because of a stupid mistake - don't you understand what parties do to people? Huh?! I'm glad I got with her at that party because she's a better partner than you ever were."

You pounded the side of your first to the table, glaring at them with tears in your eyes

"you cheated on me and blames it on alcohol, when I forgave you - it only made you feel happy to keep going back to her! Don't talk to me like you're the victim-!"

Simeon, rubbed your back, frowning at your ex

Your ex just scoffed, skating off

Your boyfriend suddenly stood up and began to march over to the rink

You tried to ask what he was doing but he didn't respond, quickly skating over to your ex

When he caught up he skidded so far they got covered in ice, grabbed your ex with a smile

And suddenly, you didn't see what happened but your ex screamed, darting off the Ice trying to get away from Simeon

When he finally came back he took a sip of your drink and smiled

"let's head back on the ice, I still have to make you a pro."

#obey me #obey me shall we date #gamingclubpresident #aracadejohn217 9 #obey me mc #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me imagine #obey me x reader #valentine's day

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robincantfunction · 3 years

Text

requested: yes/no(requests are open)

word count: 1201

warnings: slight mentions of racism nothing detailed in anyway at all though(mentions the black family as racists)swearing, one sex reference

lemme know if i missed any.

summary: fred and y/n are in a popular band together, and they're dating. the ships get too much and they have to tell their fans. but during an interview someone questions y/n about her racist family. but luckily fred is there for her, her hero. her lover boy.

song prompt 2: lvr boy - awfultune (i have to be honest i didn't really stick too much to it, but i had this idea so we are gonna go with it.

a/n: this is a modern au- the band is kinda supposed to give maneskin vibes but idk, although lvr boy isn't the best example of that-

toujours pur. one of the most popular bands globally, they were so frequently spoken about by all age groups, and just all people to be honest. they really were great. there music varied so much in genre, there was always something for everybody. the bandmates where what really made people love the band- on top of their killer vocals and riffs and just talent in general, their interviews, their youtube videos, their instagram lives, all of it made the public see what amazing people they truly were. fred weasley (lead guitarist) george weasley (rythm guitarist) y/n black (lead vocalist and ukulele player) harry potter (bass player) hermione granger (pianist) ron weasley (drummer) ginny weasley (acoustic guitarist). that summed up to a lot of gingers and a lot of talent. after endless obliviousness and shipping, ron and hermione finally got together- much to the fandoms satisfaction. harry and ginny were frequently shipped, but once ginny came out they started shipping her with luna, a known friend of the band. it was fun to both y/n and fred at first, all their friends were being almost nagged to get with the people they so obviously liked. it wasn't a safely guarded secret that fred and y/n were an item, they just never directly stated it. i mean what was the point? they loved each other, why vocalize it to the world? but then it happened. the tweets, the instagram posts, the tiktoks, every social media platform had to know if the hand holding, the cheek kisses, the 'i love you's', and the loving looks were all just out of friendship- or something much more. it was still fun initially, watching people try and figure out their relationship, but then it was brought into the interviews and the livestreams.

"why don't you guys just tell them? its so obvious anyway, and it's not like your hiding it." george asked after the band attempted a livestream, but ended it when the only comments were about fred and y/n. "why is it their business?" she responded softly. she wasn't wrong, but everyone except fred was still confused. "we know it's not. but come on, we're not gonna force you to do anything you're not comfortable with but it would stop all of that" ginny said, pointing to the livestream set up they have at the end of her sentence. fred and y/n knew they were right, but they were so comfortable how they were, they didn't want their relationship to be completely demolished. it was the last thing they wanted. and the last thing that either of them saw coming, but they were still cautious. "we have a couple interviews tomorrow, tell them or don't tell them. but it would be a good chance." both of them instantly knew what the other was thinking. the time has come. they're gonna tell them.

the next day were all sitting in front of an interviewer, and then another one, and then another one. and finally this one. "so, i know your name has never really been spoken about" the interviewer said, the band nodded "so what's with the band name?" everyone looked at y/n. she chuckled slightly and started explaining "so most of my family, not good people. they were pretty commonly associated with a racist organisation. like i said, not good people. well they have this family tree, personally i've only seen it once. me and my dad don't go to the family home often. it gives us the heebie geebies and they hate us. well anyway, the family tree says toujours pur, always pure. so i thought i'd mock them and suggested it as a band name. trust me, i've received many a message about it. they aren't happy." everyone chuckled, if y/n was one thing it was spiteful. "so just out of interest, has the band received any backlash about your family?" the entire band shifted in their seats, if there was one thing y/n rarely talked about it was her family. and fred was preparing to go into protective boyfriend mode. she shook her head "um, no not really." the guy looked somewhat hurt "oh. so racist family isn't something your fans have a problem with?" ok this guy was obviously being bitter, but before fred could say anything y/n jumped in "family by blood. not by nature. the only thing that correlates me with them is dna, and clearly they drew the short straw because they're missing some necessary brain cells. i'm not my 'family'. so no. i don't get backlash for something people who i've only ever had one conversation with did." the rest of the interview was very awkward. like, very.

"ok one last one and then we're done for the day" lily (their self appointed manager- not that anyone minded, she was a life saver) said, sending a sympathetic smile to y/n "i'm not doing it." everyone frowned, but understood somewhat. "y/n/n, love, one more. we'll tell them we're shagging like they want and then bounce" that made her chuckle, he always managed to that "lovely description of our relationship dear" everyone started laughing at the two. "ok. but if one more thing gets said about the fucking black family i swear to shit i will start throwing things."

the last interview was a lot more smooth. especially when fred held y/n's hand the entire time. that didn't go unnoticed by the interviewer, who commented on it a few minutes after she sat down. "so, fred and y/n. i know you to are" she paused and cleared her throat, whilst looking at their hands "close. and i know you're probably sick of hearing this but, what are you?" they chuckled a little "um... we're sorta dating" the interviewer smiled, and so did fred and y/n. it felt good to say it out loud. "i have to ask you, really quickly. is fred weasley your lover boy?" she asked, referencing their latest single "lvr boy". it was well known that y/n wrote the majority of their songs- specifically the slower bedroom artist vibe songs. y/n nodded sheepishly, never actually admitting that directly to the group no matter how obvious. "my room mate now owes me a tenner, thank you" everyone laughed, this was ok. she was ok.

"i'm sorry about earlier, love." she sighed "it's ok." he shrugged "no it's not. that was fucked up" both of their features softened "i was ok. i am ok. because you were there. and because you're here." they kissed "y'know 'm sorry bout your name. i know people give you shit for it" she pecked his lips again "don't worry about it." he shook his head "why didn't your dad take remus's name?" they both looked at each other "cause a name shouldn't be a burden. and with the person yuo love, it eases it all y'know. they don't care when they have each other." he smiled "can't wait till you have my name" he didn't mean to say it, panic evident in his eyes she smiled a genuinely happy smile "me neither" and she put her head in his chest.

he was her lover boy.

he owned her heart.

he owned her heart like no one else did.

she was always his.

#robincantfunctions50ficsfor50songs #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley oneshot #fred weasley x fem!reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #fred x reader #fred x you

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mull3ts · 4 years

Text

Quarintine Boyz, Part One

Pairing | NCT's 00 line x Reader

⚠ Warnings! | Smut, Orgy (5some, but that comes in part 2), Swearing, is this qualified crack?, Just a bunch of flirting too, Fingering, Dirty Talk, *not proofread, Requested!

↳ Word Count: 3.1k

· Part 2

Week 1:Day 1/14, 8:43 am

"You need to stop eating my coffee, Donghyuck"

He gasped

"Um? Eating? Really? You're a bit stupid, Jaemin." Donghyuck fought back

"Think again," Jaemin hissed "I'm not the one stupid enough to drink coffee that's not theirs!"

Jeno glared at them

"Will you guys just-"

"Butt out of it, sexy guy" They both yelled

"That one's new" Jeno mumbled

"Will you bitch asses shut up, there's a pandemic for crying out loud!" Renjun yelled from the couch

"I have litterally never heard that word once in my life" You said streching as you just woke up

"Y/N" Donghyuck and Jaemin said both storming towards you

"Tell him he shouldn't drink my coffee" Jaemin said

"Nu-uh tell this hoe to back off because if it's on the counter, it's free real estate" Donghyuck said

"That's really not my problem, what's a pandemic?" You asked

"Apparently it's when we can't go outside anymore and quarantine for 2 weeks." Renjun sighed

"How am I supposed to work out!" Jeno shrieked

"How am I supposed to get laid!" Jaemin said dropping his bag of coffee grounds

"How am I supposed to leave and see Mark!"

"How am I supposed to care about that, Hyuck" You mumbled

"How am I supposed to live with all of you!" Renjun screamed grabbing his hair

"First of all," You began, "Jeno, you can do home workouts"

"But my weights..." Jeno whispered

"Jaemin, just jackoff for god's sake!"

"It's not the same...Can I use you?" Jaemin said, being absolutely serious

"That sounds horrible, no. Donghyuck, just call Mark or something!"

"But I wanna kiss him!" Donghyuck cried

"Kiss your phone! Renjun...let's go jump off of a bridge" You sighed

"Let's go!" Renjun said grabbing his car keys "We'll miss you all...not really but still!"

Jeno blocked the door

"Nope. You two aren't going anywhere" He said crossing his arms

"Yeah, we wouldn't want you two catching Corona" Jaemin pouted

You both sighed "Fine"

"So, what's for breakfast?"

"So, what's your social security number?"

"What?"

Day 2/14, 6:23 am

"Oh, hi Jaemin"

You were taken aback, Jaemin was cooking, at 6:00 am

"What's cooking good looking?" He smirked

"Um, nothing, I'm not cooking?" You questioned

"Shit, um....y-you'reeeeeeee hot, mmhm, hot like hot, really hot." Jaemin said thinking about it as he spoke

"T-thanks?"

Jaemin got a plate for the both of you and turned around making you actually look at him

You screamed while turning red

"NA JAEMIN WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A SHIRT?!"

"It's hot?" He stated plainly "So I'm not wearing a shirt."

"I'm fucking cold Na Jaemin, what makes you think it's hot?"

He smirked again, you'd really like to wipe that smirk off of his pretty face

"You're in the room, makes it hotter"

"I KNEW THAT THIS WOULD HAPPEN. I KNEW YOU WOULD DO THIS TO HER NA JAEMIN!" Renjun yelled waking down the stairs

"Y-you what?"

"Shit. I've been exposed"

"And what are you gonna do about it" Jaemin said slamming his fist on the table

"Nothing, except go back to bed. Oh and by the way...the AC is broken and that's why it's so cold" Renjun said yawning and walking back up the stairs

"Yeah, aren't you cold, Jaemin?" You questioned looking at the goosebumps on his biceps

"I'm fine" He said placing your food on the plate "So, you gonna put on a shirt-" He stopped you. "Nope. I'm staying shirtless with this apron".

"You know that's a Peppa Pig apron right?"

"It was cheap! Your point is...". You shook your head "It's nothing".

Day 2/14, 2:55 pm

"You don't mind if I workout while your here, right?" Jeno asked holding a workout mat

"No, this is your room anyways"

"Cool" That's when Jeno started to remove his shirt

"A-aren't you gonna keep that on"

Smack

"Keep it, babe. Wear it sometime" He smirked while beginning to stretch

Then an idea popped into his head

"Why don't we stretch something else, hmm?" Jeno said playfully

"Like what"

He motioned you to come to him with is finger

He started to remove your clothes until you were bare

"J-jeno"

"Shh, keep it down babe, the others will hear you"

Jeno released his cock from his shorts and rubbed your entrance making you whimper

"Already wet, babe?" He chuckled

"J-jeno, please" You begged

"What is it you want babe, tell me"

"I want-"

It was just his imagination, and he was already doing his push-ups. He looked at you to see what you were doing

"Sniffing my shirt? Do I smell that nice?"

"Hey Jeno you-" You paused examining his body

"-you have a really big...dick"

Jeno stopped doing his push-ups looking at you like you told him something dumb

"Well geeze, babe, you don't have to remind me" He said going back to his push-ups

You heard a laughter erupt from the door

"Pft, Y/N, you haven't even seen his dick out of his pants" Donghyuck laughed leaning on Jeno's door frame

"Well is it big?" You asked innocently making Jeno's dick harden

"Are these two really having a conversation about my dick?"

"Oh my sweet Y/N, it's big, until the day Jeno decides to bed you...I'll tell you it's big"

You seemed so fascinated

"Woah, cool"

Day 3/14, 1:22 am

"Renjun?" You questioned

"Huh?" He looked at you

"Why are you painting at...1:22 am?"

"I don't know, why are you up at 1:22 am?" He questioned back

"I'm looking for Jaemin's Peppa Pig apron"

Renjun laughed

"Jaemin's sleeping in it" He responded

"Isn't that a choking hazard?" You asked, concerned

"Jaemin likes to choke people-"

Renjun's phone went off

"Hang on"

[Na Jaehoe, 1:23 am] Shut up you shorty Bob Ross don't fucking tell her that 😤😤😤

"Nevermind" Renjun chuckled "So I heard the Jeno's dick conversation"

"Gosh don't remind me, Renjun"

You looked at what he was painting

"Is that-" He cut you off "Peppa Pig, yeah. I'm gonna use it to haunt Jaemin if he gets married."

"So like as his wedding gift?"

"Exactly" Renjun looked at the clock "You should go to bed ya know"

"So should you, ya know"

"I'll go at 2:00, night Y/N"

"Night, Renjun"

Day 3/14, 12:44 pm

"Looks like sleeping beauty woke up" Donghyuck snickered from the dining table

"Oh, shut up" You said looking at all of your roommates who were eating lunch

"Here, it's uh...What's this again, Jaemin?" Jeno asked. "It's uh...Chipotlé? Wait- Yeah, Chipotlé" Jaemin said blandly

"Are you still wearing that Peppa-"

"AnD?" Jaemin clapped back, Jaemin sighed "I HAVENT BEEN LAIED IN MONTHS!"

Everyone groaned "JAEMIN! What did Y/N say?"

"She said to just jackoff...BUT ITS NOT THE SAME!"

"That's really not my problem..."

"Maybe we should sign you up for therapy-"

"No, no, I'll live like the Virgin Mary" Jaemin protested

Day 3, 12:55 am

You were all in tears (except for Jeno) and Donghyuck was already sobbing his eyes out by the time The Titanic started sinking

"Donghyuck, your eyes are so puffy!" Renjun pointed out laughing though the tears

"S-shut up you oompa loompa" Donghyuck sniffed. "You guys are babies, right babe?" Jeno said looking at you who was gripping on to him tightly. "SHUT UP LEE JENO YOU ARENT DATING" Jaemin hissed from his side of the couch bursting out in tears

"J-jaemin, is that my shirt?" You asked drying your eyes on Jeno's shirt

"It's the goddamn laundry Y/N..." He sniffed. "Hey, Y/N" Donghyuck called, still sounding stuffy "Can I draw you like one of my French Girls?"

"You can't even draw that well" You defended not wanting to be drawn nude. "Then Renjun, you do it, I'll pay you like 20 bucks" Donghyuck said nudging Renjun, "$150" Renjun responded

"Nevermind..." Donghyuck huffed

Day 4/14, 10:49 am

You didn't wanna knock, and it didn't really sound like anything was in there

But you forgot about anyone

"AH SHIT" You screamed, clearly not prepared to have seen a naked Jaemin

He scoffed, "Don't act like you don't fucking like seeing me like this, Y/N" He inched closer to you. "Don't act like I haven't noticed you checking me out when I wore that apron or when I was wearing that small ass t-shirt of yours-"

"Oh, so now you know how I feel when you're overthere at the other end of the room clearly biting your lip-" Jaemin cut you off by slamming his lips against yours

"Shut up, princess. How about I give us both what we want, how does that sound?". You noddes your head while Jaemin removed your shorts along with your underwear

"You drive me so fucking crazy walking around the house with these on. What makes you think you can just dress like a slut everyday around 4 boys hmm? Tell me" Jaemin taunted

"I like wearing them" You pouted. "Yeah? Well all of us like seeing you wear them, so why don't we put on a little show for the boys?" He reached down and entered a finger in your pussy.

He chuckled, "So wet huh?". You whimpered "Please Don't stop Jaemin"

"Na Jaemin, you're staring" You said snapping him out of his trance. You couldn't bare his gaze on you, looking at you like he was gonna eat you. "It's not my fault you're so cute." Jaemin smirked

"Well then it's my mother's?!?" You said. Jaemin was inching closer and closer to you as your back hit the wall

"Kiss me right now, Y/N"

"Oh, there you are Y/N!" Renjun chirped "What are you doing to the poor girl, you man whore" Renjun said sassily

"Why didn't I close the door"

"N-nothing...man virgin" Jaemin snickered

"I AM NOT" Renjun said tilting his head a bit, "C'mon Y/N, lets do the laundry for our resident man whore" Renjun said making you giggle "Man whore". Jaemin rolled his eyes at you

Day 5/14, 6:57 pm

"Where the HELL is Donghyuck!" You yelled

"I dunno" they all said in unison, so you decided to call Mark

"Mark?"

"What's up?" He answered, "Do you know where Hyuck is?". Mark sighed, "He's not my responsibly Y/N"

"Sure does seem like it" You said before hangging up. His room light was closed so you didn't think to check, but you'd rather be safe than sorry. "Donghyuck?" You knocked as you swung the door open.

You shrieked

"Hey, baby" He cooed before he went back to jerking off "Care to watch?" he asked making it sound more like a demand

"I think I'll..."

"Stay? Yep, that's what I thought"

So you watched Donghyuck, jerking off to you, for 15 minutes

"Y-y/n ah!" He said as cum leaked out of his dick. Donghyuck got cleaned up leaving you at a loss of words

"You're welcome, sweetheart" He said grabbing your chin making you look up at him

"yA! Y/N, Jaemin needs you in the kitchen cause he burnt one of the frying pans" Jeno said opening the door

"Tell him I'll be right there"

"Bye bye, sweetheart" Donghyuck cooed causing Jeno glare at him

Day 6/14, 9:32 am

Jeno knocked on your door

"The only considerate one"

"Hey, I'm gonna go to take a shower" He held up one finger to stop you from saying anything. "I'm telling you this so you don't think you're home alone because..." Jeno was hesitant, making you realize what he knew

"LEE JENO-"

"Mmm, Jeno, Fuck! Jaemin! A-ah Renjun! S-shit, Donghyuck, M'gonna-" He moaned trying to recreate what you sounded like that one time you thought you were home alone

"JENO FORGET ABOUT THAT!" You screamed in embarrassment making him chuckle. "It's ok babe, nothing to be ashamed of all of us have done it with you in our head" He said walking off while giggling

"Shit, my face is red, hold up, where's my phone?"

You looked everywhere so you accidentally thought Jeno's phone was causing you to read the notifications displayed

[Nana Jaems]: So we're gonna ignore the fact we all jerk off to y/n?

[Injoon]: Well do you expect us to go up to her and say "You're fucking hot in thoes shorts and you're hot and nice so wanna fuck?"

[Nana Jaems]: Isn't that what we have to do tho?

[DngHyk]: Or ya know you could just hide in your room and wait for her to catch you jerking off? Thats what I did yesterday. Be jealous hoes

[Nana Jaems]: No way!

[Injoon]: Well shouldn't we wait for what Jeno has to tell us?

[Nana Jaems]: Yeah, AND WHY HAVENT YOU COME BACK WITH THE MILK YET LEE DONGHYUCK

[DngHyk]: Calm your titties, I'm going

"Whatcha' doin'?" Jeno asked, clearly fresh from the shower. "Oh, I was looking for my phone and thought this was m-mine. whydontyouhaveashirton?"

"Why don't I have a shirt on? I just came out of the shower, babe. Gimme my phone" He said as you handed it to him

He read the messages and smirked. "How long did you have my phone for?". You shrugged "I picked it up when you came out of the bathroom" You said still flustered, Jeno nodded

"M'kay" He said looking at you with a dark glint in his eye before walking to his room

"damn, he looks good with glasses"

"Y/N, stop checking me out" He smirked

"I-i am not, you stop" You defended making hin shrug "Meh, I kinda like doing it though. It's a...good view" He said with a cocky smirk you wanted to wipe right off of his face

"Whatever"

Day 7/14, 2:42 am

You attempted walking down the stairs as quietly as possible

"Y/N?" Renjun said sitting at the dining table

"Renjun? Why are you up this early in the morning?" You questioned

He shrugged "I like going to bed at like 4"

"4 hours of sleep?" You said in disbelief

"Gives me my personality" He said winking making you laugh "I guess that makes sense"

"Renjun?" you asked, "Can you tell me a day you'll never forget?"

He thought for a second

"Maybe, when I first bought this place with the rest of the guys, or when you moved in. The day me and the guys bought this house we weren't told that there was 5 bedrooms instead of 4, but we didn't know. We just thought this place was expensive for no apparent reason." He laughed, "First Jaemin and Hyuck thought it could just be a guest bedroom or something, but Jeno was like, "

"Nooo, I want it as my workout room!" Jeno cried making the others scoff. Renjun quickly stepped in before this became a fight and only Jeno and Jaemin were left fighting eachother. "Here, why don't we get a roommate? They can pay 1/5 just like the rest of us?" Renjun suggested. They all nodded, "I know who can be our roommate! Lemme call Y/N!" Jaemin said happily as the whispers about how was a girl supposed to live with 4 boys went on between them as Jaemin was on the phone with you. "Looks like we got a roommate" Jaemin said happily. "Isn't Y/N a girl though?" Jeno questioned. "Yeah, but she's willing to also cook for us, and you." Jaemin said making Jeno shrug.

"What does happen when Jeno amd Jaemin are left fighting eachother?" You questioned. Renjun laughed, "It's not very pretty, and it goes on for a while".

"So is it like a physical fight?" You asked still confued, Renjun nodded. "Geeze"

"What about you Y/N, a day you'll never forget"

"Y/N HIIIIII! COME HERE!" Jaemin shouted from the door step, "I'll get your bag, go meet the rest of them!" Jaemin said already picking up a luggage. You looked in the direction of the house. There was a boy leaning against the doorframe, another one standing on the other side, and one who was in the back. Jaemin yelled at them making them walk over to you. First it was the one with his arms crossed leaning against the doorframe

"Hi, I'm Jeno"

"That one looks intimidating"

"Hi, I'm Renjun"

"He's kinda short compared to the rest of them"

"Did you really think that I was short?" Renjun questioned, interrupting your story. "Yes, and I still think you are"

"Hello, I'm a 10, I'm Donghyuck"

"Thank you for shoving that fact in my face, he seems full of himself"

"Go show Y/N her room" Jaemin said exitedly. While you were getting sitiuated in your room you overheard their conversation in the kitchen downstairs. "So..." Jeno started, "Can we fuck her?". Jaemin choked on his water only to find his roommates all staring at him seriously. "W-what, I mean- S-sure, ask her?"

"Did you really hear that?" Renjun asked, shoked. You nodded your head, "Every word" you smiled.

Jaemin was trying to tip-toe to the fridge while the both of you were staring at him

"Oh, hi"

Day 8/14, 9:15 am

"Y/N, would you let any of us fuck you?" Jeno asked while the both of you were eating breakfast. You thought for a second.

"Sure" You shrugged, "Maybe you though". Jeno's eyes lit up, "Me?".

You nodded, "Why not? You seem like the only responsibe one along with Renjun"

"What about me?" Renjun questioned. "She'd let you fuck her"

"But I wanna fuck her!" Donghyuck and Jaemin said in unison. "There's only 1 of me and 4 you, and I'm trying to eat or god's sake" You said glaring at the two boys infront of you.

Day 8/14, 9:22 pm

It was Monday movie night with Jeno and Jaemin as per usual, despite the fact of Jeno's hand in your shorts. "You make a sound, and I'll take this blanket off of you letting everyone see what a dirty girl you are. Understand me?" Jeno whispered. You nodded, "But I guess it wouldn't really matter since they already know you're such a dirty girl". Jeno chuckled, "Only for us though, right?". You nodded your head again, your breathing quickening as Jeno's fingers curled inside of you. "Good". His fingers worked their way in and out of you eventually leading you to start to clench on them. "You gonna cum? You're clearly clenching around them, am I that good, babe?" Jeno taunted. "Y-yeah, J-jeno, please let me cum" you plead. He nodded his head causing you to make a mess on his fingers. "Such a good girl for me" Jeno said licking his fingers clean.

Jaemin cleared his throat, "You two are quite the shamelss people" he said causing you and Jeno to look at him.

"Don't act like I didn't know what you two were doing. How dare you not let me have some fun too?" Jaemin said in utter disbelief.

"Here," Jeno said picking you up and placing you on his bed, "Let's have some fun with her then"

Jaemin let out a dark chuckle, "C'mon princess, let us play with you". They both started removing the very little clothing you had on along with theirs. "Open up, babe" Jeno said with his fingers held out infront of you. "Spread your legs, princess" Jaemin instruced behind you.

Spank

"Wider" He demanded

#nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst #nct #nct dream #nct dream smut #jeno #renjun #jaemin #chenle #jisung #haechan #donghyuck #jeno smut #na jaemin smut #na jaemin #renjun smut #haechan smut

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bansheeoftheforest · 3 years

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Transfem/Enby/Genderfluid gang Jekyll au:

(Unrelated, but I once I had a daydream au like this. Except minus the gang and just Lucy)

Does Rachel find out? (because I suppose it's a bit hard for her not too) she'd happily try to make dresses for Jekyll to wear when going out on heists

Also, you ever see those dolls where like uh a tutu would spin into a full dress? Like the dolls with the gimmick of "two in one outfit" and itd change somehow to a completely different look? (Usually a dress) I keep imagining that. Like exactly that. Hen presses a button on their suit and it spins into a dress. Is it impractical? Yes. Literally Impossible? Absolutely. But it's fun to imagine

-----

Update on my game progress: I killed springhill jack and was deeply disappointed to find that isn't an unlockable outfit, I mean come on! That evil lair literally had two mannequins wearing it, and you're telling me Jacob didn't yoink one? Smh 😔

In terms of main story, as of writing this I have received the Hallucinogenic(?) Darts and got the cargo cables, also got poisoned. Now looking in a pirate basement

Also, hatred towards B button ended. "Follow this 50km/h vehicle with your wimpy human legs" quests are my new worst enemy

And! I was looking through the dlc and saw some individual outfits were free! I dont use the Evie one due me thinking her original is better. But Jacobs outfit "The Creature's Rags" looks v good! And I get to keep my hat <3, a bit sad to discover both cant be colored though

I greatly appreciate the fact that Jacob and Evie sorta level up together, so you can just decide to play as another when you usually play one, and the other wouldn't be horrendously underleveled!

Also! I forgot to acknowledge it but Rexford Kaylock being somehow related to Jasper sounds very fun. They've probably never met and never will, as I simply enjoy the thought of him being related

Oooh! And now I'm imagining Lucy agreeing to help the Rooks at some point, she walks onto the train to discuss plans only to immediately stop. Because there's Dr. Henry fucking Jekyll. Just causally lounging on a couch wearing clearly too big clothes (he stole them from Jacob) and sipping tea. Jekyll is in too much panic and shock to say anything so Jacob just slaps his shoulder and says "Henry here makes some of strongest and most useful poisons! He also helps fix some of our real bad injuries AND He gives us information on people from the aristocracy if we need it! <3" but all in like a tone of sheer affection and "look at my person, hes so talented, I recruited him myself, be jealous of how good he is at everything"

Robert circus man keeps reminding me of Robert Lanyon, and before I even knew his name, just how he acted and what clothes he wore

Ned! Ned my beloved <3. At first I was confused on why the game felt the need to mention that it was made by people of many gender identities and etc. But then! Trans character! Canonically trans character! I dont really play video games that much, and certainly not recent ones, so this may be a decently common sight, but it made me really giddy and happy to see <3

Rachel would probably find out immediately. She goes to Lucy's house to visit her brother on a surprise visit, is very surprised to see her boss drinking tea with Patrin and Elise, in the most fancy and most lacy dress she has ever seen. Hen would be absolutely horrified to see Rachel, Patrin/Elise/Lucy would probably start bubbling about how they started to work for them and how good they are at the job and doesn't that dress just suit them perfectly and Hen would look like they would want to sink into the couch and disappear. Rachel would probably only need a moment to realize, then she would be Hen's biggest supporter and make SO MANY DRESSES for them <3

I know exactly what you mean and I want Hen to have at least 10 of those. Maybe not a suit but more like a short dress like Evie wears that turns into a longer dress, just yes pls <3

Oooooh I just did the sequel mission for that one yesterday! It's really annoying with he just poofs away like that but i still think it was v fun. Maybe there is a mod that adds that outfit? XD

...Y'know you can just steal a carriage and go after them most of the time, right? At least unless they specifically state "follow x by doing z" and stuff, so XD

I really like that outfit but I like Jacob to be a fancy fancy boi. I also have yet to find an outfit for Evie that I like, the only one I have found so far was the military outfit but you can't unlock that until you have done the WW1 missions and I promised to save those so my friend could watch me do those missions, you get to play as Jacob's granddaugther, I believe <3

Yess, only thing is you have to decide where to spend the points but eh, its just takes a minute or so XD

I like to imagine Rexford being Jasper's kinda-odd-but-also-very-protective uncle, prepared to beat anyone up who lays a hand on his nephew... Too bad Jacob killed him in cold blood lol

I love that point and I especially love the thought of that, too, being Jacob x Jekyll bc I have been having that brainrot for a fucking week at this point. I just... Adore the panic. Like, Henry just chilling, taking a break from the Lodgers, just getting to go on a lil vacation seeing the train move past London, catching up with friends and shit and flirt with Jacob, and all of a sudden Lucy walks in, they both stare at each other for such a long moment, Henry chokes on his tea, Lucy just goes like... "Uh... Dr. Jekyll? What the hell are you doing here?" bc lets say that they have met before, Jacob just being so proud of Henry and all he has done for them like look!! This is my person!!! He is so good for us and he is really just awesome!!!!!! I recruited him myself aren't I just the best!!! meanwhile Henry is just like... 👉👈🥺 XD

Man do you know how much I can relate to you rn. I love the thought of Robert being the one holding the fight clubs. I love the fight clubs but I absolutely hate all the races. The Lambeth Lap Race can go and die </3

Yess!!! It has always been really important for the team of AC to make sure to keep a diverse developer team and especially since they are working with history, it's important to have many different perspective on things, and it actually isn't until recently that they added sexualities and gender identities to that little pre-note on the loading screen! It was first just about races and ethnicities but I'm glad they are keeping it diverse and aren't afraid to show it. Jacob technically has a male love interest later on but... Spoilers <3

#ask #darling-dolly-darlene #banshees au #syndicate crossover au #trans!jekyll au

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qwanderer · 3 years

Text

Loki in the Hall of Mirrors

This story is complicated. Not, like, as a plot, not particularly, but philosophically and thematically. It's got that great play of hero against villain that I love about the Loki story in general and that makes it all so divisive and messy. And I love it even more than I did on first watch.

The first time I watched the desert landing scene, I was like, "Wait? What happened to Allspeak?" because the people who live there don't seem to understand him. But on the second watch, I realized it could be a lack of context, rather than a break in translation. These people probably have an even chance of knowing nothing about Norse myth. Like, what if an alien came up to you and said "I am Boogle of Bofgar, I carry a burden"? You would still have questions like "What the hell is a boogle and why are you carrying your shit here?" So the basic dynamic of Allspeak is probably still functioning, and Loki probably understood their questions, but he was still trying to figure out how to answer when he got distracted by the TVA people.

It could even be an innate psychic ability rather than a magical one, as he seems to understand everyone in the TVA, including the man who can't be fluent in all languages like the field agents because he has never heard of a fish and the seemingly nonverbal robot. (Which of course makes me want Loki talking with Dum-E and the other shop bots! But I digress.)

Okay. I want to start talking about the next-level manipulation shit the TVA are pulling on Loki here. Time, as they say, moves differently in the TVA, and one might even assume that they can avoid having to deal with more variants at once than they can handle. And yet we see them dealing with exactly two other troublemakers during Loki's onboarding.

The first, I'm going to call little echo man.

Little echo man is incredibly annoying to Loki, because he does and says everything Loki might find himself inclined to do and say if he wanted to be difficult. Little echo man does these things in little annoying undignified ways, making them look silly and petulant. Little echo man protests and questions and pushes back, in his business suit and his long dark hair and pale skin, and clearly thinks everyone should treat him as important even though every indication is that he is an annoyance and an afterthought.

Perhaps he's a plant, and perhaps he's just a variant of an annoying but predictable regular they see who they lined up at the same time on purpose. But he is on purpose. Everything he does screams directly at Loki, "Don't do this."

We'll get to the second convenient intersection later.

The most obvious layer of manipulation is simply the beraucracy. They put him up against a series of obstacles which he needs to deal with to get anywhere else, and nothing he does can get him past those obstacles except compliance. All of these obstacles have personality, but they are not personable. They treat Loki like a bag of trash they have been tasked with taking to the curb. Annoying, distasteful, but ultimately routine. His silver tongue isn't going to get him anywhere because these people simply don't care.

I think a lot of these he just goes along with to see where it gets him, since at this point he still believes he has his magic in reserve. But the fact that he steps through the robot fryer even though he thinks he might be a robot without knowing (as others have pointed out, he spent thousands of years as a frost giant without knowing it, and he's recently spent time in the control of the being who shaped Nebula) is a testament to how deep they've already got their hooks in him.

They treat the robot fryer like it's routine, but come the next obstacle, they kill little echo man like it's routine, too. Because he didn't comply.

Loki is slowly being ironed flat to thread into their compliance mill.

And then - I love this, because it reminds me of one of my favorites among the multiplicity of Lokis, GoS!Loki - they put this line in as punctuation between the impersonal, compliance, don't phase of their manipulation and everything that comes after it.

When he's set before the judge, someone actually paying some attention to him, this is his chance to use his silver tongue on someone who will listen. But, although the judge listens, she treats him the same as all the other obstacles have - like listening is a distasteful chore she would like to be done with.

So it seems like the perfect moment for a dramatic escape. Except his magic is gone.

"It's not your story," the judge says. "It never was."

That hammers in all the worst things Loki has ever believed about himself - that he stands in the shadows of others, that he will never have the central place he was raised to desire, that he is, and always will be, a villain to be vanquished rather than a person with choices and agency.

Enter Mobius.

Mobius is a big echo.

He draws all the attention in a room. He is everything that Loki wishes to be - he is powerful, informed, prepared, in control. Capable of charming the judge. And most importantly, he is actively interested in Loki.

At this point in Loki's journey - both in the show and in his life - that has to be irresistible.

So Mobius is in a perfect position to wrap Loki right around his pinky finger.

He listens to Loki without shutting him down, the way all the obstacles have. When Loki tells Mobius he's going to burn down the TVA, Mobius suggests a couple of places he might want to start. One concrete, small, mischievous. One an indication that he's open to Loki doing larger, more significant things here in the future.

He shows Loki his own past and future - but carefully edited, to paint a particular picture.

So many echoes, so many reflections - Loki is in a house of mirrors. Lost, disoriented. Distorted one way, then the other. Magnified and examined.

Loki snarks, and Mobius comments, "Makes you sound smart." Affirms Loki for that little mischievous bit of personality.

Mobius shows Loki some of the most terrible things he's done, and questions them. Pushes Loki away from them. Then changes direction before he can get too heavy-handed, to basically fangirl over the DB Cooper adventure. That's mischief. That's good. I like that.

Punishes him for a small infraction, just to remind him who is in control and that even looking threatening could be seen as a problem.

I think it was at about this point that I got hard reminded of the dynamics of the show White Collar. It's a buddy cop show on a basic level and sometimes the relationship can be very sweet, but sometimes Peter spends one too many times reminding Neal that he can send him back to prison any time he wants and the power dynamic shows its messed up edges.

Mobius is part of the machine, and the machine is doing terrible things to Loki, but I have at least a sliver of hope that the relationship could gain more balance - more genuine balance, not based on the faux freedom that Loki has gained by the end of the episode. There's something to be said for making changes to a system from within that system, but for that to be meaningful change, Mobius would have to change as a person.

Anyway, this current nastily powerful Mobius pushes Loki as hard as he can, and then is conveniently interrupted by the actions of another variant, leaving Loki alone with his remote.

It could easily have been on purpose. The only thing Loki learns by escaping that room is that the TVA is more powerful than any force in the universe, in his experience.

Let's talk about the other Loki variant for a minute. It took me until the second viewing to realize the symbolism of leaving a small child the only survivor in a place of worship, then giving her something to turn her blue.

Odin said he found Loki in a temple, in the aftermath of a battle.

It's actually frighteningly easy to imagine how a distraught Loki could get to a place where he feels the need to genuinely burn down the TVA, and kill every agent in it. Because the TVA put certain clips in his little future show, focusing on the death of his mother, the way his own actions affected it, and the futility and brutality of his own death at the hands of Thanos.

They don't show him the destruction of Asgard, his own role in helping save the evacuees, and the way Thanos decimated the population of that transport before it could even reach Earth. They don't show him the devastation of his home or his capacity to do good.

A Loki who knows that the power of the TVA exists and that he has the capacity to be Asgard's heroic savior would do anything to get that power and save his people.

But we haven't met that Loki yet. I'm sure we will, and it's going to be exhilarating.

This Loki is being taught the importance of control over little things, and so when he gets his collar off and onto that guard, he toys with her, just to see that he can. They have been toying with him and it's oh so satisfying to turn the tables. But it's still compliance in its own way, the petty little mischief that Mobius has been steering him towards.

Loki has been given just enough freedom, just enough choices, that it seems like his own choice to watch the rest of the slide show and come to the obvious conclusion - there's no "out" to go to. His life has gone on without him, and ended. And there's really no point in his trying to fix it. No putting things back the way they were.

So he admits to Mobius - the person who has listened hardest, probably, besides his mother - he admits that he is small and scared and lashing out. That he doesn't know what to do.

Of course, this is when Mobius introduces the task the TVA has for Loki - to take down his other self.

Oh, I can't wait for the next episode! I want to know where this is going.

(I've popped in some panels from Loki: Agent of Asgard because it's my favorite and the show is giving me feelings about it.)

#the loki show #the loki series #agent mobius #loki #loki meta #spoilers #loki spoilers #loki show spoilers #aoa #gos!loki #marvel

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