#leave me alone i’m fragile and conflicted

[romanroysmomthing]

Logan at the table repeatedly checking that someone was recording Karl singing the song until Gerri quietly reassured him because “i’d like to have it” is such an insanely quintessentially little old man thing and imo one of the evilest parts of the video. he was a despicable monster who’s ruined countless lives and he needed to ensure he would have a recording of his old friend singing a folk song so he could listen to it later. i can't do it guys

#logan roy #karl muller #gerri kellman #succession #succession spoilers #succession season 4 #succession finale #txt #mine #like my grandpa is the same way asking ppl to take pictures bc he doesn’t use a smartphone and like. logan IS a grandpa. he’s a PERSON. #leave me alone i’m fragile and conflicted #and the fact that he wasn’t doing it himself could be equally a powerplay and an old man not wanting to fail at navigating technology GRRGRR

[matchamilkislover]

In The Darkest Corners, 13.

pairing: vi x fem!oc (reader with a name)

warnings: mature themes, just an overall minors beware, violence, just general arcane-ness. this one’s still pretty fucked up, at least for my standards.

word count: 2,957

author’s note: i low key feel sadistic after writing this chapter. but anyways, yes i know my paragraphs are long, no i won’t be changing them 😁 enjoy !!

don’t forget to read the other parts first!!

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Caitlyn's steps echoed in the damp corridor as she approached the cell where Vi was held captive. The dim light cast long shadows on the walls that seemed to follow her as she walked. As Caitlyn reached for the door, the clink of metal against metal reverberated in the cold air. Her voice pierced the silence as she whispered into it. “Vi? Are you there?” A quiet echo bounced off of the cold, hard walls of the cell, but the resounding silence made her nervous as the seconds passed. After what felt like forever, Vi's voice cut through the silence, sharp and incredulous.

“Caitlyn? What the hell are you doing here?” Vi hissed back, rising out of the darkness of her cell to approach Caitlyn. Her defenses prickled at the memory of what went down in front of the Council. More importantly, what she lost that day.

Caitlyn paused, her hand lingering on the lock. She met Vi's gaze, her expression unreadable. "I'm getting you out.”

Hope flickered in Vi’s chest, but it was quickly dampened by doubt. The skepticism dancing on her face hardened into a scowl. "Why? What's your game, Caitlyn?"

"Look, I know you may not have the best impression of me, but I’m here for Olive. She’s been missing, and I talked to the bartender at The Last Drop. He last saw her with Sevika, until she passed out and Sevika dragged her off. I don’t suppose you’ve heard anything about this?” Caitlyn replied, her tone measured.

Vi's fists clenched, the tension between them escalating. "You think I don’t know? That Silco wouldn’t dangle it in my face like some sort of fucked up little game? You think I haven’t been torturing myself in here, day in and day out, trying to figure out how to get to her?” She stepped forward menacingly as she spoke, until Caitlyn could almost feel her breath on her face. “But now you show up out of nowhere, claiming you want to help? For what, a Piltover PR stunt? Either get me out of here so I can fix this shit, or leave.”

Caitlyn's jaw tightened, and for a moment, the air crackled with unspoken conflict. "I know you don't trust me, Vi. But I need you to trust that I want to help you. To help Olive. Silco's grip on the Undercity is tightening, and we need to stand together against it." She paused, taking a suddenly shaky breath. “And…I, uh….I can’t lose Olive again.”

Vi scoffed and rolled her eyes, suspicion still etched on her features. "Why should I believe you? You've always been on the other side of this mess. You couldn’t even try to find Olive when she spent an entire year alone in the Undercity.”

Caitlyn sighed, the weight of their shared history pressing on her shoulders. "I know I haven't been the most reliable ally in the past. But circumstances have changed. We—"

Vi cut her off bitterly. "Save it. I don't need your explanations. Just get me out of here, and we'll go from there." Caitlyn was silent, caught off guard. Vi studied Caitlyn's face, searching for any hint of deceit. The cell seemed to shrink around them as the seconds ticked away. Finally, Caitlyn nodded, a begrudging acceptance in her eyes. She understood that the fragile alliance forged in the depths of the Undercity might not survive in the harsh light of the world above.

She pulled out some sort of advanced lock picking mechanism, and made quick work of the rickety cell lock. As the lock clicked open, the cell door swung open and Caitlyn stepped back cautiously as Vi quickly exited her cell. The tension lingered, a silent reminder of the delicate balance between trust and betrayal hovering around them. Caitlyn, acutely aware of the strained atmosphere, focused on the task at hand—getting Vi out of Stillwater. The dim light flickered overhead, casting erratic shadows on the walls. They were able to quickly sneak back out of Stillwater, Caitlyn following Vi’s quick, athletic maneuvering.

Once they were a ways away from Stillwater, Caitlyn put a hand on Vi’s arm to stop her. Vi flinched at the touch, like she was tempted to swing, but Caitlyn chose to ignore the movement. “Stop, Vi — where are we even going? How do you know where she is?”

The question made Vi sigh, like it was something obvious that Caitlyn was oblivious to. “I know Silco. I know where he keeps his facilities. I know exactly where he has her. Where he wants me.” Her face was hard as stone.

Caitlyn wasn’t convinced. “So what, we’re just going to walk straight into what is obviously a trap? The two of us? Even if we managed to get in, there’s no way we’d be able to get Olive out. Not without a full rescue team.” Her disbelief was palpable in her voice.



Vi closed her eyes, like she was thinking, and then shook her head. “I don’t care. I’ll figure it out. I won’t wait anymore. I have to find her.” She started walking again, but yet again, Caitlyn grabbed her arm to stop her, more forcefully this time.

“You’d be a fool to do this. Just wait one day, I’ll pull together a team of enforcers and we’ll face Silco and his followers together. Then we’ll have an actual chance.” Her voice was desperate, like she wasn’t just trying to convince Vi, but herself as well. Vi pulled away again.

“You can do that if you want, but I’ve learned my lesson with enforcers, and I’m not risking it again. Especially not with Olive involved.” She spoke with an air of finality that Caitlyn came to accept was not one to be questioned. She sighed.

“Fine. I’ll move as quickly as I can, but in the meantime, just…be safe. Please. For Olive,” Caitlyn replied in a gentler voice, softening in the subject of her childhood friend. Vi nodded, and then turned her back to leap into the Undercity, moving as quickly as she could while keeping her stealth.

—

This time when Olive awoke, she was alone. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved, or made more anxious by the absence of another person. She sat there in the silence, her back against the freezing wall of her cell, alone with her thoughts and fears. Was she really going to die like this? How soon would it be? Would, at the end of the day, it really be her own father that ended her life? A year ago, she might’ve been grateful to be free from the pain and confusion…but now, she had something to lose. Someone to lose. Even if it was a someone who left her. Alone. In the rain. Someone who she wasn’t even sure she would ever see again, if she did survive this. Before Olive knew it, she could feel tears dripping down her cheeks, and her ears suddenly registered the sobs leaving her throat. Her cries seemed unending, the cold in the air and the burning on her wrists disappearing into her sorrow. After what felt like forever and no time at all, she finally heard footsteps tapping down the corridor towards her, a mocking “tsk, tsk, tsk,” being murmured by the figure as they approached.

“What?” Olive choked out through her sobs. Suddenly, it didn’t feel worth it to save her words anymore. “Here to taunt me more? Make me feel worthless, hopeless, despaired?” She took a shaking breath and continued, “Well, I’m already there. You did your job. What else do you want from me?” The door to her cell clanged open and shut, but Olive still kept her eyes squeezed and trained on the floor. It wasn’t like she could use her hands to wipe her tears while they were changed behind her back, so squeezing the excess liquid out of her eyes was the best she could do. She listened intently as the figure knelt in front of her and grabbed her face in their hands. She wished she didn’t recognize their touch.

“Oh, dear, sweet Olive tree, don’t cry,” her father’s — no, Teeter’s voice made a terrified shiver go down her spine. He wiped her tears for a moment, but she flinched from his touch, now glaring straight into his eyes. Instead of pulling away, his grip on her jaw tightened. His voice turned from a fake sweetness to a true hiss. “Don’t you worry, dear daughter,” he drew out the pet name like a snake, “it’ll all be over soon anyways. We’re just missing one piece of our puzzle.” Olive took a deep breath, and glanced down at his hands before looking back into his eyes. Wordlessly, she reeled back slightly and, as hard as she could, spit straight in his face.

Her screams followed quickly after. “YOU MOTHERFUCKER,” she bellowed, her voice scraping even as she ignored it, “YOU FILTHY MURDERING FUCKING TRAITOR, YOU’RE DEAD. YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD. I WON’T LET YOU DO THIS AGAIN, I WON’T. YOU COWARD,” her voice echoed in the cell and down whatever corridors connected to it. Teeter grimaced and angrily wiped the spit off his face, using that same hand to then cover one of his ears as Olive screamed, the other keeping a tight grip on her face. He suddenly let go of her face and immediately slapped her as hard as he could, making Olive’s eyes blur and tears prick in her eyes. Before she could react, he gripped her face in one hand again, this time so tightly that her cheeks were completely squished together by her mouth.

“How dare you, you little bitch,” he snarled, pulling her close to his face. Even though her cheek was bright red and felt like it was on fire, Olive ignored the pain and returned Teeter’s glare silently. He huffed and dropped her. “Sevika!” He called in a suddenly airy voice, “I think our bitch needs a muzzle.” As Sevika turned from the wall outside of Olive’s cell and strolled in as requested, Olive’s stomach filled with dread. Her heart pounded against her chest, and she scrambled back against the wall, as if she would somehow be able to escape this. Teeter simply watched her and laughed cruelly. Olive’s eyes were wide as saucers while she watched Sevika approach, spinning a metal muffle gag in one finger.

Sevika’s voice broke through the momentarily quiet room. “I’ll take it from here,” she spoke gruffly through a half-smirk, only glancing at Teeter, who nodded and looked to Olive one more time. She continued glaring.

“I’ll see you later then, dear daughter,” he said sinisterly, kicking her once in the abdomen lightly and ignoring her whine. “Can’t wait for our next talk…” He turned and slinked out of the room, leaving Sevika to her own devices with Olive. The taller woman nodded a goodbye and focused her attention to Olive, who was glaring up at her from her position against the wall.

Sevika smirked. “Oh, my little bird, I wish we could do this in different circumstances,” she remarked cruelly, approaching Olive with the so-called ‘muzzle’ in her hand. “How nice would that be, hm?” Her voice was that of a mocking murmur, only fueling Olive’s hatred and dread. Olive bared her teeth in a grimace, holding back the urge to spit again.

“You’re disgusting,” Olive replied in a hate-filled voice. Sevika only laughed. Her laugh made something in Olive snap, and she reeled back and then spit straight into Sevika’s face (or as close as she could get from the floor). Disgusted, Sevika grimaced and then whipped her gaze back to Olive with a newfound anger in her eyes.

“You really want to act like a bitch? Then I’ll treat you like the little bitch that you are,” Sevika barked, roughly grabbing Olive’s jaw in one hand and yanking her up to where Sevika could more easily reach her. Before Olive could recover from the shock and spit a retort, the muzzle was being shoved onto her face. Olive half-choked on the gag as it invaded her face and mouth, making Sevika grin maliciously. With a click, Sevika latched the device on securely and shoved Olive back down to the floor, still gagging a bit on the new sensation and desperately trying to force her body to breathe out of her nose. Once she could breathe, she sent a hateful glare towards Sevika, who sighed and leaned down a bit. Her large body approaching Olive’s made the smaller flinch away, as if she would be able to get away. As if. Sevika rolled her eyes.

“You know, little bird, I would be a lot nicer if you made it easier,” Sevika said to her with a sigh, catching Olive’s chin with one finger as she tried to turn away and lifting Olive’s gaze to hers. “So pretty…” she murmured, “we’d have so much fun, you and I.” Olive could do nothing but glare in response. Sevika sighed again and removed her finger. “It’s too bad that you’re too much of a prissy bitch to take an opportunity when you get one,” she grunted and took out a cigar, lighting it and placing it between her lips to take a long drag before speaking again. “You could’ve had it good down here. But instead, you chose someone who won’t even attempt to help you. How sad.” Olive’s glare became fiery, and she lurched out towards Sevika, as if she could do anything. The chain holding her hands wasn’t even long enough for her to stand up, much less reach Sevika, and Olive was yanked back down by the chain as vigorously as she tried to get up. Unsurprisingly, Sevika laughed and cooed mockingly. “Aww, want to fight back, do we?” her voice hushed suddenly, “You’re ours now, little bird. And there’s no fighting back.” With that, she turned around and left the room, leaving Olive to moan in pain at the new restriction on her face.

—

The night wrapped Silco's stronghold in a shroud of darkness, broken only by sporadic lanterns casting long, eerie shadows. Vi moved with calculated determination towards the looming warehouse that covered Silco’s underground hold, her steps muffled by her strategic movements as she approached. Ideally, she would slip past the guards and into the stronghold unnoticed, but when it came to Vi, this wasn’t a very realistic option. Instead, she left a trail of unconscious guards behind her, bodies hidden by random objects or pushed behind barriers and into shadowy corners. Soon enough, she was within the twisted corridors of Silco’s headquarters. The echoes of distant conversations and clinking metal reverberated as Vi navigated the labyrinthine passages, her keen eyes searching for any sign of Olive. The information she had extracted from Caitlyn and Grint had led her here, to Silco's inner sanctum, where he practiced the majority and most important of his operations, as well as kept his long-term prisoners. Her heart pounded in her chest as she descended lower and lower into the hold, eventually approaching a heavily guarded door. With practiced finesse, Vi disabled the guards without a sound, their unconscious bodies now silent witnesses to her intrusion. The door, fortified and imposing, seemed to defy her entry. Vi gritted her teeth, muscles flexing as she used all her strength to pry it open. The hinges groaned in protest, but the door finally yielded. The corridor beyond was dimly lit, revealing rows of cells like crypts in the Undercity's secret catacomb. The air hung heavy with the scent of dampness and despair. Vi scanned the cells as she advanced through the corridor, her eyes searching for a familiar face. Eventually, she spotted a battered form huddled on the ground on the floor of the farthest cell, quiet pained breaths leaving the person’s body. Vi rushed to the cell, hands coming up to the bars as she looked in. Instantly, her heart sank as she recognized that the form was in fact a shivering Olive, seemingly unconscious on the floor of her cell.

"Olive!" Vi whispered urgently, her voice barely audible above the oppressive silence. Olive’s body didn’t move. Vi shoved the door open, nearly ripping it off its hinges, ignoring the fact that it was suspiciously unlocked as she rushed to Olive. She gently took Olive’s face in her calloused and wrapped hands, inspecting her as she whispered pleas for her to get up. “Olive, Olive please…wake up, Olive, please…it’s me, its Vi,” she begged, her voice breaking as she spoke and a breath of relief leaving her chest when Olive’s eyes blinked open.

But instead of looking relieved, Olive’s eyes widened and she immediately squirmed to try to escape Vi’s grasp, her instincts surging with panic even though she had yet to realize who had awoken her. Vi gently grabbed one of her arms and rubbed, continuing to identify herself until Olive finally seemed to hear her and paused, wide eyes meeting Vi’s. At first, she looked shocked, then relieved, and tears welled in her eyes as Vi pulled her into her grasp and held her for a moment. Vi then pulled away, moving to release her from her binds, but Olive’s eyes grew wide again, and she started to scream from behind her mask, muffled sounds being all that came out as she stared at something behind Vi and desperately tried to free herself again. Confused, Vi’s ears finally picked up on footsteps approaching from behind, not having heard them before as she focused on Olive. But by the time she realized this, it was too late, and something heavy hit her on the head before she could even turn around, the world going dark.

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tags!!: (lmk if you want to be added!)

@forestnymph666 @sevviesbabe

#in the darkest corners #vi #arcane #arcane fandom #arcane fanfiction #vi arcane #vi fanfic #vi fanfiction #vi x oc #vi x reader #matchamilkislover #matchamilkis #arcane vi #arcane x oc #arcane fanfic #arcane x reader #arcane piltover #piltover and zaun #wlw #lesbian

[asgardianangel]

Sugar life-Two

Warnings: 18+smut Lalo being a psycho sugar daddy again, little dark, reader kinda gone crazy, switch, angst, rough sex, riding in the bath

The cracking of the fireplace was therapeutic as the warmth hit your body. Almost taking away the uneasiness of Lalo’s presence as you lay your head on his lap watching the movement of the flames. 

“Are you going to be good baby?” He asked running his fingers through your h/c hair his voice came by after spending half an hour in complete silence  

You sniffed quietly still looking at the fireplace “I expect an answer querida” he ordered going a bit rough with the stroking. You look up at him seeing the reflection of gold from the flames in his auburn eyes. Lalo smirk at you looking like a depiction of the devil himself.  

Expect he was.  

“I will be good” You replied shaking his frightening appearance off. 

“Good girl” He praised taking a sip of his blood red wine savouring the taste. Putting the glass down on the table with a clink. “Now I got some business to take care of I’ll tell Nachito to run you a relaxing bath you seem on edge baby” You sat up fiddling with the blanket that covered you. Lalo got up to leave the living room “And you never know I might join you” He cheekily teased with a wink.  

You shuddered with both fear and undescribed arousal. These last few days you felt all sorts of emotions swive Lalo was an evil drug trafficker and even worse a murderer and yet you still saw the spark of the generous older man who you will admit you started to fall for.  

‘The Salamanca name is most feared in the cartel mi amor and you're with the very best. No man will ever threaten you as long as I'm around’ You remember his dark chuckle after that statement. 

Conflict that what it was in the hands of the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Lalo Salamanca. 

Getting up for the couch felt like it took a lot of energy from you wrapping the cosy blanket around your fragile body. Walking through his home in Chihuahua made you feel more vulnerable especially since Lalo’s ‘good guy’ (he calls it) façade came off you wished you could return to your home in Alburquerque but for that reason he extended the stay. 

Stepping upstairs you headed towards the master bedroom shutting the door behind you so you were alone you looked at yourself in mirror. “I need to get out of here” you said in such hopefulness  

There was a knock at the door. 

You open it to see Ignacio standing there with the look of the concern. “Your bath is almost done are you okay y/n?” He asked.  

“I'm okay thanks” You lied. Ignacio shakes his head looking at you 

“That’s a stupid question to ask obviously you're not.” You sniffed nodding. 

Ignacio looks behind him nervously “I’m going to help you get out here, okay?” He said in a whisper. 

You were slightly taken back by his words. Is this a trick? Orchestrated by Lalo himself to see if you would escape him at every given moment. 

“How can I trust you? You're his right-hand man” You lightly exclaimed not wanting anyone to hear. 

“Trust me y/n we are on the same boat I hate him as much as you do.” He states quietly 

“Bu-” You were cut off by Ignacio’s hands on your shoulders. “Listen to me y/n I’m going help you but you got trust me and act natural flatter him. Let him think your still his” Ignacio instructed softly 

“What if he kills me, Ignacio?” Thinking of the situation you dreaded the most  

“He won’t listen you need to trust me on this one” 

“But-” 

“He’s in love with you Y/N or at least he thinks he is” 

You had no words. Not knowing if Lalo being in love with you was good thing or bad thing. Is he really capable of loving someone? You thought. During the time you have spent with Lalo you felt yourself coming closer to loving him at least the romantic caring version he was portraying. Dreaming of a night where the L word would drift from his heart to yours. But come to the unbearable understanding he didn’t even have a heart to begin with.  

You let out a little laugh 

“Loves me? He never had a heart” You stated 

Ignacio nodded looking down “I can help us get out please trust me” 

“Okay” You sighed in defeat 

“Good. He can’t know about our conversation, okay?” 

You nod lightly sniffing a little “now relax in that bath I promise everything is going be okay” 

Taking his word, you closed the door with a gentle goodbye. Everything was quiet as you walked into the fined tiled bathroom that was attached to the master bedroom. You admired the candlelight that outlined the spacious tub as you unwrapped the blanket from your body before taking off the white button up that Lalo gave you fall to your feet. Once bare you stepped into the bath with a slight wince at the hot water bracing yourself in. Lavander embraced your senses as the bubbles sway around you.  

Closing your eyes and letting the madness all go away or so you thought. 

A creak of the door broke the sweet silence then the voice that made your stomach turn “Got room in there for one more princesa?” Lalo asked by the door darkness indulged him you could only make out his huge figure. 

“I thought you had business to attend to Lalo?” Even in the warmth of the water you felt a slight chill run down your spine. “Well, it was cut short and I’m happy it was querida.” He said in a rather cheerful tone as he stepped closer to the tub his menacing appearance brighten by the candle light. Lalo sighed running his hand through the grey streak in his hair.  

“Sooo can I join?” He asked playfully dipping his hand in the water before holding your chin so you were looking at him “You are just so beautiful baby” You couldn’t help the faint blush that appeared on your cheeks. Why is he like this? You thought closing eyes and started pushing your back against the golden taps. The faint sound of Lalo’s humming and the rustling of clothes made you want to sink your entire self into the water and stay there. 

He sat down in the tub gazing at you before splashing some water on his face. His wet hair sticking up a bit You tried not look at him focusing yourself on the candles that burned around you both. “Something on your mind?” Lalo asked trying get your attention by waving his hand in front of you. “Hm no just tired I guess” you shift in the water with a faint smile. Eyes meeting his bare chest for a man his age his body never fails to impress you.  

Trying shake off the memory of the night he took you to bed for the first time. The hunger in his eyes as he stripped off in front you everything about him made you so aroused from the tribal tattoo on his arm to the little spurts of hair on his quite muscular torso. You never wanted someone so badly. He was so gentle with you that night as you weren’t used to a big man like him.  

“You are still scared of me, aren’t you?” His lips curved into a slight smirk.  

Yeah, no shit I’m sitting in the bath with a murderous drug lord. 

“Yes, I am Lalo” The honestly shone through you.  

His expression was sympathetic but then he laughed a little like it was funny to him. “It’s very obvious to me just wanted to see if you were honest with me baby.”  Drifting his fingers across the flame of one of the candles. 

“Like I said that night I would never hurt you y/n. We really have a lot to work on.” You casted your eyes unsure what to say.  He laughed again “c’mon you look like a scared little kitten around me” Lalo tusks making you annoyed. 

 At this point you no longer cared what Ignacio said about ‘acting natural’ you just wanted to get away from him. So, you stood up allowing Lalo to get an eye full of the body he knows so well. But he was quick to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you back down into the water “Where do you think you're going huh?” He asked in an amused tone. 

“Away from you" You huffed as Lalo chuckled “Aw poor baby I’m sorry for calling you a kitten” He could see the annoyance in your face “Can I just leave please?” You beg pushing your knees in front of you like a child.   

“Aw querida” Lalo drew closer to you in the water rubbing your cheek smiling as a few tears streak your face. “Turn your back to me baby” He softly instructed. You felt hopeless as you obeyed him. His arms wrapped around your waist more gently this time and pulled you to his chest. Caging you against him “Look at me kitten” Lalo ordered after he pulled the tie from your hair letting it fall. You looked at him in the eyes tucking your hair behind your ears.  

There was that spark again the man you met at the bar that night looking back at you. Warm brown eyes and lips curling into a warm smile.  

His hands gently moved up your waist to welcome of your breasts. Kneading them before kissing you with so much need. Lalo groans as you pulled away from him getting up on your knees “You are so used to power, aren’t you?” He bites his lip gazing at your breasts above the water “I may be born into it querida but I have made sure my family kept it.” You sighed Lalo continued “Just make money. How else am I going keep my princesa pampered hm? I killed for you” he chuckled. This man killed so many people and ruined so many lives and thinks it’s the most hilarious thing ever. His hand cupped your chin ready to kiss you again but you were quick to slap it away moving back to against the end of the tub 

“I hate you” You whisper 

Lalo was taken back by your sudden venom “hate me?” He chuckled pointing to himself. You nod then he smirked before empathising a silent ‘wow’ with his lips.  

“Tell me again” He ordered now you were the one taken back you say it again a bit louder.  

‘Again’ Lalo kept repeating so you say it again louder than before drawing your body closer to him still looking in the eye in hopes he gets the message. 

Your voice bounced off the walls off the fine tile “I fucking hate you Lalo!”  

Your body was almost on his lap and for the last time you were going say it to his face 

“I fuck-” Gasping as Lalo pulled you completely on his lap you could immediately feel his hard cock slap your thigh. So big and thick. He delved his wanting tongue in your mouth before you could reject. A whine emits from the back of your throat as he grinded you against him feeling the tip almost slip inside you completely.  

“Mi amor feel what you did to me hm?”He asked in a husky tone before his lips roam your collarbone finding that sweet spot forcing a loud moan from you.  

“Fuck that hate baby fuck me” He groaned. You were hypnotised by his sudden submission. The degradation and truth you screamed turned him on so much. Pushing his chest so his back was against the tub you lifted yourself up a bit so he could finally slide inside. Wincing slightly, he always felt like he was tearing you apart. 

Maybe he was mentally and physically you could no longer handle it. 

“Mierda” Lalo cussed as you stared at him getting into a rhythm of bouncing up and down on him. Feeling him tug at your walls as the water splashed around you both your fingers intertwining pulling the chain of his necklace (the mark of the cartel) you fucked him hard making sure his eyes were on yours. 

His hand raised to your throat wanting to grab it but you moved it away “Is this what you want?” You questioned letting go of the chain letting him kiss and suck your tits “oh yes baby mierda” Lalo gasped you pulled the grey streak in his wet hair. 

Moans and groans echoed in the bathroom as well the splashing of bath water. 

His cock pulsed and stretched you out so perfectly as you pounded yourself roughly on the older man. The state of ecstasy was a little frightening making you forget what kind of man you were eagerly fucking. But you didn’t care you were going escape soon enough.  

“I’m so close querida” Lalo whispered in your ear with a hiss the tip of his cock hitting that glorious spot you moaned at the sensation.  

The knots in your stomach became too much you were ready to burst and so you did. Lalo groaned letting his head fall back against the ledge of the tub as his loaded shot into you.  

Panting like dogs in the heat you rested your head on his chest. “I fucking hate you Lalo” 

“I know” He replied playing with your wet hair 

This is so fucked up  

End 

For now... 

Sorry for the long delay what should this become a short series hm? 

Thanks for reading  

#fanfic #better call saul #Sugar life #Smut #lalo salamanca #lalo salamanca x reader

[2nd2ndalto]

When I Get Home to You

Whoa, chapter eight! We're in the home stretch now, kiddos. Rating will go up for chapter nine, fyi.

Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Nico’s older self makes them all sandwiches for lunch, though younger-Nico notices that neither of the men eat much. Will picks at his food, not taking part in the conversation nearly as much as he normally does. Younger-Nico, on the other hand, is hungrier than he can remember being in… a long time. It helps, he notices vaguely, that his stomach isn’t quite as twisted into its usual knots.

Finally the meal is finished - the two dogs are more than happy to clean up the leftovers - and the four of them settle again in the living room, ready to talk strategy. Nico finds there’s a relief in this forward momentum; he’s finally feeling useful, like he has some semblance of control over this situation.

Hazel has just begun to plot out the time and place coordinates for their journey when Will sits forward.

“Hazel. I’m sorry to interrupt, but… I think it’s just going to be easier on my mental health if I don’t sit here and listen to all the details.”

“Oh, Will. Of course,” Hazel nods.

“I’m just…” he swallows, pauses. “Nico.” he turns to his husband’s younger self, and though it hasn’t even been two full days, Nico already knows this look in Will’s eyes. Sincere. Honest. A bit raw. It’s hard to look away from.

“I don’t want you to think I don’t trust Hazel,” Will says gently. “I absolutely do. I’m just… I’m feeling a bit fragile right now and I think it’ll be better for everyone if I just… go for a walk.”

At this, Sticks’ head pops up from where she’s been snoozing on the couch, and Will chuckles.

Will rises, looking a little unsteady, and Nico’s older self copies the motion as if they’re attached at the hip.

“It’s okay, love,” Will says quietly to his husband. “I’m good. I just need to… remove myself for a bit.”

“I’ll come with you,” Nico says.

Will shakes his head. “No, you stay. I know you want to be here for this.”

Nico blinks, glancing towards his younger self and Hazel, looking momentarily conflicted. Then he turns back to his husband. “No. Hazel can debrief me later. Or next week. Whenever,” he says decisively. “They don’t need me here.”

Will opens his mouth to speak.

“Will.” Nico stops him with a hand on his arm, his gaze intense. “Do you want to be alone?”

Will pauses. “No,” he murmurs.

“Then I’m coming with you.”

Once again, younger-Nico feels as though he’s intruding. Maybe Hazel does too, the way her gaze drops to her hands.

“You won’t leave before we get back, right?” Older-Nico asks as they head towards the door, Sticks bumping circles around their legs.

“Definitely not,” Hazel confirms.

“And… Nico,” Nico’s older self begins, and the boy thinks it might be the first time he’s called him by his name. “You’re okay staying here with Hazel?” And he fixes his younger self with the same searching look he’d given his husband moments ago. Somehow that expression is even more familiar to younger-Nico, and with a jolt he realizes he’s felt it on his own face.

“Yeah. Yes,” he says.

Nico can’t ever remember so many people checking in with him. Asking if he’s okay, checking for his consent. Apologizing to him for things out of their control. It’s disconcerting, to say the least.

There’s a brief silence that follows the click of the front door latching shut, and then Mrs. O’Leary throws herself back down on the living room floor with a shuddering thud. She makes a rumbly, whiny sound, clearly miffed at not having been invited on the walk. Nico smiles, and crosses the room to sit next to her huge, slobbery head, scratching between her ears.

“Is Will… okay?” He asks Hazel after a moment.

“In the grand scheme of things? Yes. Right at this moment? Maybe not. But that’s what family and friends are for, kiddo,” she says gently. “And therapy, and… well. Lots of things. But yeah, he’ll be fine.”

“Are you okay?” Hazel asks him after a moment.

Nico blinks, staring at Mrs. O’Leary’s furry head, considering. And he realizes… he kind of is. Not good. Not excited to wake up again tomorrow, but okay. More okay than he was two days ago, anyway. So that’s something.

____

An hour later, standing in the backyard, Nico feels fairly confident that he, Hazel and Mrs. O’Leary are ready to make the jump. His mind is buzzing with all the new knowledge that Hazel’s shared. He’d almost forgotten the high he gets from discovering new ways to use his powers.

They’ve tried a few very short practice jumps outside - there’s not much more open space in the yard than there is inside the house, but at least there’s less risk of structural damage if Mrs. O’Leary goes off-course. She’s managed to raze a few hedges, and Hazel is currently attempting to teach Nico magical landscape repair, both of them laughing at his initial clumsy attempts.

Nico is hit by a momentary low, wishing he could spend a lot more time with Hazel, and then he realizes - he can. Soon. Starting… well, almost as soon as he can get back to his own time, according to his older self.

Hazel rights Nico’s hedge-reconstruction attempt and steps back to inspect it, her nose scrunching skeptically.

“It looks good,” Nico assures her. “They’ll never notice.”

Hazel cringes. “I’m pretty sure they won’t. It’s Persephone I’m worried about.”

Nico smiles at the look on her face. “I’m…” He wants to say it, wants to let her know. He might not have another chance. But he feels so terribly out of himself. “I’m glad I find you soon,” he finally manages, his gaze on his feet.

“Oh sweetie, me too,” Hazel steps forward, raising her arms to hug him, then stops, balling her hands into fists and pulling them back to her chest. “Sorry,” she apologizes. “No hugging, right?”

“Maybe… um. It’s okay,” Nico says softly, taking a tentative step towards her. He’s immediately wrapped in Hazel’s embrace and okay, maybe this isn’t so bad.

Hazel gently rocks them back and forth, squeezing tight. “Maybe you already know this and maybe you don’t, but I love you a lot,” she whispers. Hazel releases him halfway, hands firm and steadying on his shoulders. “I know you can’t take that with you after today, but,” she shrugs, “I hope you know it again soon.”

Nico nods, not trusting his voice enough to speak. ___

They hear Will and Nico returning before they see them, both Hazel and younger-Nico turning to the sound of their mingled laughter at the front gate. The men are hand-in-hand, both their postures noticeably more relaxed than when they left.

“Oh good, he’s got Will laughing,” Hazel murmurs. She glances at the boy next to her in the backyard. “I guess you don’t really know Will yet, in your time. Is it really strange? For you to see them together?”

Nico nods. “Yeah, kind of. Although… I guess a lot less strange today than it was yesterday. I think… I think they’re lucky to have each other,” he says softly, realizing it at the same moment the words leave his lips.

Hazel smiles at him. “Very.”

___

The last 48 hours have felt weeks-long at times, but suddenly, it seems, they’re ready to go.

The plan is for Nico to share most of the travel effort with Mrs. O’Leary on the voyage there, with Hazel navigating. Then, Hazel hopes she’ll be able to manage the return trip with Mrs. O’Leary without needing too much time to recover first. At some point soon after their arrival in Connecticut, they’ll deal with the issue of memory modification. Nico hasn’t asked many questions about that. It feels easier not to. But he trusts that Hazel’s plan is a good one.

The group of them linger around the kitchen table, finalizing plans. Hazel’s perched on a chair, but none of the rest of them seem able to sit, Will propped up at the corner of the counter, his gaze flicking between Hazel and his husband, older-Nico pacing and glancing out the window.

Younger-Nico can’t decide how he feels. Twitchy. Anxious. Looking forward to being on the move again. Worried about what comes next. Heavy-hearted knowing very well the self he’s returning to, but… does it even matter? When he won’t remember any of this? It might as well be a dream. In the end, he decides that the best he can do is take things a moment at a time, focus on the task at hand.

And in this moment, the adults are trying to decide on the most likely shadow possibilities. It’s nearing three o’clock, but it seems more sensible not to wait until it’s dark outside. Nico knows that his older self can feel it, and he can too - not a nearness to death, exactly, but like an elastic stretching a little further, a little thinner. Eventually, something’s going to snap.

Nico shakes himself out of his own thoughts to absorb the end of the conversation around him.

“No, not the bathroom, we can’t fit Mrs. O’Leary in there.”

“The basement then?”

But the basement is little more than a glorified crawlspace, and Will’s worried that the hellhound will take out the ceiling, which honestly isn’t implausible.

Eventually they settle on the garage. It’s not large, but they’ll all fit, and Mrs. O’Leary will be able to get inside without needing to shadow-travel there. The two men head out to move the car and tape up the garage windows, trying to ensure the darkest shadow possible.

They’re back even sooner than Nico expected, both of them exuding as much tension as he can feel himself, older-Nico chewing on his thumbnail, Will anxiously twisting his wedding ring.

“You’ll let Frank know when we leave? And tell him as soon as you can sense that the journey worked?” Hazel is asking her brother.

“Yeah, Hazel, of course.”

“I’ll head straight back to New Rome on the return trip, and I’ll call you from there. But don’t start worrying if you don’t hear from me for a few hours, okay? I’m not sure how long I’ll need to recover for the journey back. And I’ll need to stick around long enough to make sure that Nico’s re-situated.”

Older-Nico nods, looking paler than usual. Will does too, hovering behind his husband. Neither of them quite seems to know what to do with themselves. Younger-Nico can relate.

Hazel, in fact, is the only one not looking nervous, which is honestly heartening. “It’s going to be fine,” she tells the men again. Will gives her a faint smile. Nico looks as if he can’t loosen his jaw enough to smile, but he nods again.

The adults all seem somewhat paralyzed, and younger-Nico finally decides to take the initiative before one or all of them spontaneously combust.

“So then… should we…” he begins. The adults all agree immediately, jerking into action, heading for the back door, Sticks at their heels. Mrs. O’Leary’s lying on her side in the middle of the backyard and Sticks huffs when she catches sight of her.

Everyone’s silent as they trail around the yard to the door at the side of the garage. The late afternoon sun slants through the spruce trees in the front yard, flecking the surface of the driveway in light and shadow.

And then everyone is standing in front of the garage door as it rises. Hazel ushers Mrs. O’Leary inside and younger-Nico wavers, his gaze flicking to the garage and then to the two men next to him, both looking more solemn than he’s seen them.

“So um…” he whispers. “Thanks. For everything.” He gazes at Will, then his own older self. Feeling tears prick at his eyes, he blinks, looking away.

“Hey,” his older self says softly, “it’s going to be okay, all right? You can do this.” And Nico doesn’t think he just means the time travel. The man tentatively reaches out to touch Nico’s shoulder. “I’m really glad we got to… talk.” He clears his throat, sniffs.

Nico just nods.

Will is sniffling now too. “Is it too weird to say it was really good to meet you?” he asks, his voice rough.

Nico manages a watery half-smile, shakes his head. “It was really good to meet you too,” he says softly. He shyly raises his eyes to meet Will’s, and as he registers the warmth, the love in the man’s gaze, it brings a sob up from Nico’s chest. He realizes it’s no different than the way Will’s been looking at him all along.

“Well damn it,” his older self murmurs, wiping at his eyes, and younger-Nico laughs through his tears.

“So, um,” Will says, blinking hard, “safe travels, okay? We’ll… we’ll be thinking of you.”

Then Will holds out his hand, the same way he did two nights ago when they met - at least in this time. Nico hesitates, then tentatively takes a step closer, half-lifting his arms.

Will looks surprised, cautiously stepping forward. “Is it okay - can I…” and the second Nico nods, he’s folded into Will’s arms, his head cradled against Will’s chest. Will feels comforting, solid, calming, and it doesn’t help the tears, but it helps his heart a bit.

“Is it - can I… I’m gonna have to join you.” his older self croaks after a moment, and then the three of them are holding each other and gods, this is awful but it also feels really good, and maybe it’s not so bad to be fragile if you’ve got someone to catch you. All of them are crying and somehow Nico’s going to have to collect himself enough in the next few minutes to execute some pretty complicated shadow-travel.

At that moment there’s a disgruntled canine grumble, and Sticks’ front paws hit younger-Nico’s shoulder. He likely would have been knocked to the ground were he not already being supported by two grown men, but instead suddenly there’s a very wet tongue in his ear. The three break apart laughing as Nico tries to hug Sticks goodbye too, Will tearfully trying to explain that she doesn’t like to be left out of physical affection.

“Okay, on that note…” his older self laughs, scrubbing at his eyes.

“I guess I should go,” Nico says, giving Sticks one last head scratch.

The men nod. “We’ll… see you soon. Sort of,” Will says.

“Okay.”

“Um. Okay.”

And then Nico steps into the garage, and Will presses the button to lower the door.

#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus #older nico di angelo #older will solace #nico di angelo #solangelo #fluff and angst #my writing #rated teen #multi chapter #will solace #older percy jackson #hazel levesque #mrs o'leary

[stardustedsins]

Kiss Prompts #6: A kiss on a falling tear

Wamuu/reader (gender neutral reader)

Joseph has seen you sneaking away before, but he’d just joked about being back before morning, assuming you have a secret lover in town. He’s only half right. You’re sneaking out again tonight, leaving the island as soon as you can get away without being missed or raising any suspicion. Jojo would probably cover for you if you asked, but you don’t want to risk getting anyone else involved. 

You can’t just announce that you’ve been seeing the enemy this whole time, after all. Wamuu has to stay a secret. The two of you have been meeting up on another little island in the Gulf of Venice for some time now. Even the other Pillar Men don’t know. 

It’s something you’ve been struggling with as the time for a confrontation with the Pillar Men draws nearer. You know you won’t be able to fight Wamuu, and you’d prefer if no one did any fighting at all. Even if you and Wamuu aren’t hurt, you care about your fellow hamon warriors, and he cares about Kars and Esidisi. If everyone fights, people will die.

It’s weighing on you tonight more than usual as you arrive on the island for your meeting. Wamuu greets you, having arrived first as he usually does.

“You seem troubled, little one.” He says, and you sigh. 

“I can’t stop thinking about what’s going to happen when we all have to fight.” 

“I understand that your human culture places a different value on battle than my own, but it is inevitable. My masters will not give up the quest for the Stone, and yours will not give it up willingly.” He sees these things differently than you, you know that, but he’s still trying to be sympathetic, in his own way.

“I know. There’s nothing I could say to change anyone’s minds.” You can feel tears gathering in your eyes, and you try to blink them away. “I just don’t want anyone to die.”

“To fall in battle is honorable to me, but humans have much shorter, more fragile lives. I can understand why you do not want them to end so soon.”

He’s being so kind, but it only makes the knowledge of everything worse. You won’t even be able to be with Wamuu much longer. You squeeze your eyes shut, and the tears overflow. Maybe you should end it now, tell him you can’t see him again. He’d likely even respect a desire to focus on the upcoming battle instead of your little affair.

He leans down from his massive height to kiss your cheek, gently, where the tears are running down it. 

“It is possible I could ask that my masters spare you, if you would not be shamed by it.” He offers. “Your friends would never warrant such an exception, they will fight to the death as we will for the Stone, but in the likely event of our victory, I am sure Lord Kars would not begrudge me this small request. You could stay with me for the remainder of your human lifespan.”

You can picture it, roaming the world with the three of them and their new ability to walk in the sun. It wouldn’t sound bad at all, if not for the fact that your friends would all have died fighting the very men you’d have as your companions. You could never abandon the world to Kars’s whims, and you could never betray the sacrifices of fallen friends, if it comes to that.

“I’m sorry.” You say, knowing that you mean a lot to him if he would even offer that. “But I can’t.”

“I suspected you would refuse.” He nods. “I respect your loyalty to your master and your fellow hamon warriors, but I will leave the offer open, if you should change your mind before the time comes.”

“Thank you.” You murmur, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “I should get back to Air Supplena early tonight.”

Truthfully, you just want to be alone. To go back to your room and cry into your pillow before you have to get up for training again tomorrow.

Wamuu doesn’t argue. He sees you off with another kiss, this one on the lips. It’s tender, as if he knows you won’t be coming back. You can’t let yourself be so conflicted anymore. Your loyalties can’t be divided when lives are on the line.

It will be the last time you see him like this. The next time you meet will be in battle.

#my writing #sfw #gender neutral reader #kiss prompts #battle tendency #wamuu

[casspurrjoybell-20]

Blueberry Muffins - Chapter 7a

*Warning Adult Content*

Taking a Break - Part 1

"Sorry but my leg just hurts too much," Wren Rivera explains softly.

Erin Hamilton smiles back, reaching up to brush his boyfriend’s hair away from his face. 

"It's fine. I understand."

Erin went quiet for a moment, just staring at Wren. The young man couldn't help but stare back, captivated by the Alpha’s warm brown eyes. They were like pools of melted chocolate. Wren didn't think he could ever look away.

"You know I love you right?" Erin says, his eyes searching his boyfriend’s face for something.

"Of course. You tell me all the time," Wren jokes lightly.

"No, I mean it, Wren. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes because you still have a fated-mate out there. I don't want to let you go but you deserve to be happy with your destined partner," Erin admits.

Wren’s chest tightens up at his words. 

‘Was this what he always felt? Didn't Erin understand that he was the one I was choosing? That I wanted him to be my mate?’

Wren reaches up and cups Erin’s cheeks in his hands. 

"But I'm happy with you right now. Isn't that what matters?" the young man tells him.

A pained expression crossed the handsome Alpha’s face. 

"No, it doesn't, Wren," Erin sighs, pulling away from his hands. 

"I don't know, we just started talking about your fated-mate and stuff and it just got me thinking. I don't want to get hurt in the process, you know? I already lost one mate, I don't want to lose you too. But I can't forget that you have a fated-mate somewhere out there, looking for you. They'd make you happier than I ever could."

Wren shakes his head, feeling frustrated. He was very happy with Erin being his boyfriend. 

‘He is focusing on something he shouldn't even worry about.’ 

"You need to stop worrying, Erin. I'm right here. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Because it's not right, Wren," Erin blurts out.

Wren is shocked. 

‘Why was he suddenly saying all of this, now?’ 

He doesn't want to hear his boyfriend talk about this so he squirmed around, eventually getting out of his arms. Wren then stands up, ignoring the pain in his leg and with arms crossed, he glares down at Erin. 

"You're being ridiculous. I want to be your bond-mate. This isn't the kind of conversation I want to have with you, not when I want to be yours."

Erin looked at his boyfriend with a conflicted, almost pained look. 

"Wren, you know I'm right. We can't lie to ourselves anymore and you know it. Eventually, your fated-mate will find you and they'll sweep you away. I'm... not the right person for you. A... and I feel like we've danced around this topic a lot already." 

“Erin?” 

“Maybe we should take a break, just so we can clear our heads. I'm not saying I want to let you go. Like I said, I love you so much it hurts but seeing you ignore your other half would hurt even more. I want you to be happy. So I think we should prepare for when you do meet your fated-mate, whenever that is."

Wren’s heart throbbed painfully, tears burning the back of his eyes. Erin was being irrational, worrying over something that would likely never happen. Didn't he get that? He was making them both suffer over what-ifs and doubts. But the young man was more angry than hurt. This whole argument was so sudden and extremely bad timing. They were still in the middle of the wolf run for Goddess sake. Erin didn't have to bring any of this up, yet he did. Did he think now was the right time to drop it on his boyfriend when he was injured and couldn't run away from him? Wren’s anger soon took over and he blurted out. 

"Fine if you want a break, I'll leave you alone. It's obvious to me this issue is just your fragile ego talking."

"Wren, you're being..."

"I'm heading back."

Erin watched Wren turn around and hobble off into the woods, not even bothering to help him. 

‘I guess he doesn't have to. No, I don't want him to. I don't want to look at him anymore.’

Tears began to blur Wren’s vision as he continued to stumble along, his mind brewing with negative thoughts. Walking naked in the woods with an injured leg and on a full moon too was not the kind of situation he'd ever thought he would be in. His tote-bag was by the lake where everyone else would end up the run at so that meant all of his clothes were there too, at least the ones he brought with him. The one good thing was that his leg was slowly starting to heal but it didn't hurt any less. Eventually, Wren saw the edge of the pack territory. He was shivering, his arms crossed to keep in any warmth he had left still in him. 

Painful, hot tears were still stinging the back of his eyes, some of them having already escaped. He was sure that some people were back already. Wren wasn't exactly fast or anything getting back and his theory was proven correct when he saw a few cars driving in, along with a few wolves emerging from the forest. He hurried to the pack house, knowing he could get some temporary clothes from the common room so he could head to his home and forget about this entire day. Luckily no one seemed to notice the tiny omega as he went inside, coming back out with a random jacket and pants that were too big on him. Thankfully, they weren't Erin's. Wearing his clothes was the last thing Wren wanted to do right now.

"Wren," someone calls out.

Aaron, Ryder, Aurora, Joshua and Mark walk over, carrying their bundle of bags. Wren looks at them, quickly turning away to wipe his eyes. He didn't want them to know, though he’s sure Joshua would have figured something was up. He was the last person who saw Erin and Wren together when the tiny wolf first got hurt.

"Hey, man," Ryder greets with a smile. 

"We didn't see you at the lake. What happened? Erin refused to talk about it."

"I got hurt. The usual," Wren answers, trying to play it off.

"Okay, heal up soon, then."

Wren smiles at the comment, trying to be nice but didn't really feel in the mood to talk with them, especially since he could see Erin off in the distance, talking to his father.

"Oh, Wren," Joshua spoke up after everyone went silent, giving the tiny omega a small smile of his own. 

"Here's your bag. I wasn't sure if you'd get to it or not, so here."

The Joshua hands Wren’s his tot-bag to him. 

"Thank you, Joshua. I guess everyone else had arrived at the lake by then?"

"More or less. Like Ryder said, Erin didn't tell us where you were. Is... everything okay?"

Ryder looked back at Wren when he heard what Joshua just said. 

"Woah, what? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing happened," Wren said with a small sigh, trying to keep the tears at bay but then deciding to tell them. 

It was better to just let it out now than for them to find out some other time. 

"Erin and I are... taking a break."

"Did you two get into a fight?" Aaron asks, his arms crossed.

"Yeah. But it's fine, I swear," Wren puts on another small smile, thinking now was the time to escape. 

"I'm going to head out. I know it's not late and I only have a short walk to get home but I’m doing it on a injured leg."

"Here, I'll drive you," Ryder suggested, looking at Aaron for permission, who shrugs, giving his silent approval. 

"Go ahead."

After a few goodbyes Wren, Ryder and his girlfriend, arrive at Aaron's car. Wren sits in the back, looking out at the pack house and it seems Erin has waited until he was gone before going over the to other’s to chat. It make Wren’s chest tighten, the tears threatening to come back. 

‘Was he really serious? A break? It was such a small argument.'

Sure, Wren got where Erin was coming from but he was taking things too far. Ryder soon stopped in front of Wren’s house, turning around to face him. 

"Hey, Wren, I know you're probably not in the mood to talk but we can chat for a bit if you need to let some things out," he offered.

Wren shakes his head, opening the car door. 

"I'm fine, Ryder. Don't worry."

"Of course I'm going to worry. You and Erin are two of my best friends. Just... take care of yourself."

"I will."

And with that Wren slides out, closing the door and walking to the front door of his tiny cottage. He waves to them as they drive away, probably going to get something to eat real quick before heading back to the pack house. The two packs were most likely going to celebrate for a bit longer, maybe share a quick drink among the adults or something, then head off for the evening. At this time Wren would've been with Erin, probably cuddling together in the living room before heading up to his bedroom. He quickly dismissed the thought, not wanting to cry anymore. If Erin wanted to take a break then fine, they could take a break but knowing it was because he thought Wren should be with someone else kind of hurt. He knew, deep down, that Erin was right. 

Wren shouldn't commit to him when he has a true fated-mate out there, somewhere. And he knows that he was using his own weakness as an excuse to cling onto something that could fade away in an instant. It was terrifying. But Wren couldn't let it go. He couldn't let Erin go. What could a stranger offer him that the Alpha-to-be had already provided? Wren didn't get it and he was scared to try. He couldn't experience the mate-bond like most people but did that change things? Did that mean he was broken? Would his fated-mate think that? It was safer to stay with someone who already loved him than go off with some stranger destined by the Goddess to be with. 

The sudden pain in his leg reminded Wren that some rest would be good. So with a broken heart and heavy mind, he limped to bed, hoping for Erin's pained expression, to not haunt his dreams.

[pudgy-planets]

“My point stands nonetheless. You were born with the strength and regardless if you trained to such lengths with your powers, you entrapped yourself solely because you decided to allow your turbulent emotions to conflict with that abysmal brother of mine. That’s your own damn fault and you need to accept that, Kara. I’m not apologizing for being correct, the one time I actually exhibit sings of a spine and all of you get uppity for no apparent reason!? If you think sharing a sob story with me is gonna change my mind, forget it. I didn’t ask you too.”

“And you’re acting as if you use your own powers and whatnot for the sake of others. You don’t. You abuse them for your own selfish purposes, just like nearly everyone else around. If RJ allowed his own ambitions and feelings and lack of confidence in his own worth, it’s his weakness. And anyone with a Brian should know he needs to work it out for himself. I’m not gonna take criticisms from someone who gets pissed at something as arbitrary as their bust size. So what if you didn’t inherit an average chest? You were born with virtually everything else and you nitpick at minuscule details like those.”

“Especially when we take into account you not only beat the hell out of me for calling your girlfriend a skank, but threw me down the fucking shrine steps until I tumbled all the way down from the summit to the base of the mountain. Despite me explicitly telling you I had no fucking idea that’s what Caius told me. You’re an impulsive muscle head who allows her fragile, insecure emotions to override her compound reasoning. You’re no better than RJ.”

“I’m not going to abide by a hypocrite’s ramblings. Get off your high horse and leave me the hell alone.”

#muse: maseru #dash commentary

[liszomania]

Stone

A flesh, I was.

A weak fragile flesh attached to bones.

Brittle bones.

Jelly-like flesh.

Empty and hollow.

Knowing that being human means you must feel things.

Knowing that being human takes up a lot of energy and effort.

Goodbye to the old human form of me.

Goodbye

Here I am, a stone.

Throw me.

Hit me.

Bite me.

Shoot me.

Stab me.

And you still won’t hurt me.

That is what you wanted, right?

A less problematic ‘US’.

Here you have it.

You said that, every time we meet, there would always be some conflict between us.

Major conflicts.

Minor conflicts.

But, it will always be there.

Do you mean to say that, I cause them all?

Really?

I want to ask you again and again and again.

“Hey. Is it true? Did I caused all those problems and troubles?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Really? How so?”

“You take everything in. Every little thing bothers you. That’s why.”

It’s clear now.

I am the problem.

And when I said that, he said that I am not.

Someone doesn’t have to be the problem.

But hey, let me ask you again.

Are you sure?

:)

Exactly.

There you have it.

Like I said.

I was born as a problematic child.

But don’t worry.

I’ll leave this world after I managed to put a smile on everyone’s face.

I promise you that you would never cry once I’m gone.

I’ll be sure to prioritise your smile and happiness.

And most importantly, I’ll be sure to not cause any problems between us.

I’ll settle those problems on my own.

It’s unfair to always burden you with my feelings.

It must be really overwhelming for you.

I am sorry for hurting you.

I myself am hurt at the moment.

We made plans. But you’re changing the plan.

I asked you out today but you said that you wanted to study for final exam.

And today, you’re out.

With your friends.

It made me wonder.

Are you tired and sick of me?

It must be tiring to always see my face.

It must be exhausting to hear me talk every fucking day.

It must be sickening to hear the same thing from me every damn time.

It must be hard for you.

To have me in your life.

A clingy bastard I am.

A fucking bitch I am.

An asshole I am.

A useless lover I am.

And for that, I am sorry.

I will try my best to put on a mask.

To let you know that, I’ll be with you no matter what.

In times of happiness and sadness,

In times of pain and suffering,

In times of hardship and struggles,

I will always stay.

I will always love you.

I will always be there for you.

I will always hear you out.

I will always comfort you.

I will always hold on to you tightly.

I will aways believe in you.

But.

This time,

I will cry alone.

I will suffer alone.

I will suffocate alone.

I will be upset alone.

You would always want me to talk things out because I like to talk it out to someone.

Today, I went to one of my friend and talked to her a little bit about this.

Just on the surface.

Nothing deep or detailed.

I still am not feeling any better.

Because.

I actually want to talk to you about it.

But,

A broken radio I am.

With an expiration date.

I kept on repeating the same thing.

I kept on repeating the same word.

“I love you.”

“I miss you.”

“You mean the world to me.”

“You’re my everything.”

“I’d die without you.”

It’s the same old shit.

:)

Now that you’re out with your friends, it is clear that..

They are your priority.

Not me.

But that’s okay.

I’m a newcomer in your life.

Newcomers are usually unimportant.

So it’s okay.

If you ever get the chance to read this, then you should know that, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.

You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are lovable. You are kind. You are sweet. You are the best. You are perfect. You’re all I ever wanted. You’re all I ever needed.

It’s okay to upset me.

It’s okay to disappoint me.

You’ve done so much for me.

Every little pain that you’ve put me through and will put me through will be insignificant for me.

I have pledged to be bulletproof.

I have pledged to ignore the pain and only acknowledge the happiness.

I have pledged to suffer alone.

So, nothing is ever your fault, my precious sunflower.

Goodnight, my sweetheart.

[yourtamaki]

thinking about worshipping sanji’s body on a bright morning. his blonde hair looks like gold today and you just wanna press your lips to every inch of his skin for salvation. yeah. sanji brain rot

you,,,, you get me. also this got a lil angsty sorry </3

sanji bathed in the golden morning sun is a rare sight you hardly get to see let alone savour. he’s always on the move, up to cook breakfast long before you wake up and slipping under the covers after his nightly prep work with you already fast asleep. sanji tries to make time for you during the long hours in between but with a dozen people on a tiny ship, alone time is unheard of. you’ve resigned yourself to these cold mornings and lonely nights. how could you ask for more when you see how hard he works day in and day out to take care of his crew. to take care of you.

still, when you blink awake and find his arms still wrapped around you, a greediness you thought you’d buried alive cuts through the syrupy drowsiness in your veins until you’re left bleeding and aching with need.

you twist around in his loose hold until you’re face to face with him, so close that his slow, deep breaths feel like your own. sanji is beautiful at rest, soft in a way he never lets you see. you cradle his face, fresh stubble scratching your palm as you swipe a thumb over his cheekbone. the light touch is enough to make him jerk then relax when he realizes it’s only you, eyes still closed.

sanji leans into your hand, pressing a sleepy kiss to the centre of your palm before he asks, “what’s wrong, my love? bad dream?”

“it’s morning.” his eyes flutter open as he takes in the golden hue of the bedroom for the first time, refracted light from the sea dancing on the ceiling as the sunny sways over gentle waves.

“i slept in?”

you kiss the confused furrow of his brow. “mhmm.”

“i sh-should get up.” his breath stutters as your lips start to wander, pressing against his temple before trailing down his cheek to litter his jaw in feather light kisses.

“you could.” you say, throwing your leg up around his waist and use the leverage to straddle him. “or you could stay here with me.”

“baby please. i have to go.” even with the obvious confliction in his voice, sanji’s hands find their way to your hips, fingers digging into the soft flesh he finds there.

“then go.”

you’ve said too much. you know it from the way he all but freezes solid beneath you, so still and quiet you can almost hear the crack of his heart as it splinters like thawing ice under the warm morning sun.

“what’s wrong?” something lurks in the question that wasn’t there when he first woke up and asked you the same thing, something more fragile and fearful.

“nothing.” you nudge your nose against the underside of his jaw, planting kisses down his neck in a vain attempt to distract him.

“angel.” you feel his groan rather then hear it, a low rumble that tickles your lips and urges you to lick a stripe against his throat to pull another from him. “talk to me. please.”

“i’m fine. i just need this right now. i need you, sanji.”

he pinches your chin between his finger and thumb, lifting your head until you meet his eyes. you squirm under his heavy gaze, certain that the dawn’s light exposes your every thought but all he does is tilt forward to press his lips against yours and mumbles, “i’m yours.”

it’s nothing he hasn’t told you before but the pang in your chest makes you feel raw and vulnerable all the same. he’s yours. yours to know and touch and love and the reminder sends you into a frenzy, leaving a searing trail of open mouth kisses down his chest and following his happy trail until you’re slotted between his legs, mouthing and drooling over his cock.

“go ahead, baby.” he says. “take what’s yours.”

the streaming sunlight lights his flushed face gold as you slowly sink down on him. you should’ve known better then to take him without stretching yourself first but the burn is a welcome one. sanji winces as though he shares your pain and he licks his thumb to rub neat circles on your clit. when he finally bottoms out inside you, the tight, hurt feeling in your chest finally loosens enough for you to draw a full breath.

“is that better?” he asks. when you nod, sanji hugs you to his chest, rubbing a hand against your back until you relax against him. “that’s my girl. you want to talk now or later?”

“later.”

he kisses your temple. “of course, angel. tell me when you’re ready, okay? i love you.”

the buried pain eases all at once, soothed easily in a way only sanji could ever manage. “i love you, too.”

#lil sunbeam #sanji smut #sanji x reader #one piece smut #one piece x reader #vinsmoke sanji smut #vinsmoke sanji x reader #morning breath doesn’t exist in fiction

[mercurytrinemoon]

Another post on Moon signs you can drag me for

Before we get into the actual thing, I'd like to say this post initially started as something else but ultimately, what I tried to put across is, sometimes Moon signs aren’t that easy to decipher. It’s easy to grasp overall characteristics of the signs and then learn how to identify their specific traits. But what people seem to forget it that Moon represents the deepest side of us & our inner world - it’s uncommon to really see someone’s side of it unless you really pay attention. Sometimes I’m surprised to see what someone’s Moon sign is even if I know this person well. Meaning, people usually hide that part of them - or they just simply process it internally and others can’t see their emotional reactions. It’s also uncommon for folks these days to fully express their emotional needs so it gets even trickier to pin-point their Moon characteristics. I don't think I have to mention this but, of course, your entire chart should be taken into account, as well as house placement, aspects. Personally, I like to also look at Moon's dispositor.

Let’s start from my friends, Gemini Moons, who, I feel, get a bad rep for not showing their feelings and scanning every emotion like an AI. Nah-ah. I know this one Gemini Moon whose immediate emotional reactions aren’t very cerebral in the sense of processing everything in the mind and intellectualizing it aka, what people like to label as being un-emotional. Instead her reactions are often fast (air energy) but physically expressed through Mercury (Gemini Moon’s dispositor) and Sun (overall identity) – she has them both in Aries. She’s a crybaby who can burst into tears in a matter of seconds. So she’s not something that would stereotypically be assigned to a Gemini Moon. But what I did notice is that all Gemini Moons tend to have this weird look on their face when they’re processing stuff. As if they were about to have a brain malfunction; they stop and have that specific worried look. They also like to either gossip or tell stories (either real or made up lol); they’re great with words - they can talk for hours if they feel comfortable with you. They just crave interaction and mental stimulation. Their quick reactions tend to make them effortlessly witty. Even if they’re a withdrawn Gemini type, they make up for it through social media and technology or just a quiet exploration. My shy Cancer pal with Moon in Gemini is now a brand/website designer and an instagram queen who travels the world. This is great energy for content creators in general. And don’t forget that Geminis need to have their fingers in many pies. It’s because they always have a backup plan… and they get bored easily so they need that chaos around them to feel at home. They like to have options in everything, which is kind of funny cause it’s hard for them to make up their minds and actually choose something. And they store a lot of information in their brains… I feel like it must be exhausting, no? 

On the other side of the axis, whenever I see someone with a Sagittarius Moon, I can immediately say “yup, a Sag Moon indeed” (probably thanks to my Sag stellium), meaning, they all seem the same to me. Sag Moons often find comfort in exploration - best if it’s literal travel. They always seem to need to free themselves from their surroundings, family, roots or their own culture to discover something new and exciting, even if it’s only in the imaginary words - through books, movies and other medias. Their happiness always lies somewhere else from where they currently are. Like, I think all Sagittarius Moons that I know have left their parents and went their own paths early on. And they have this yolo attitude. Just like Sagittarius Suns, they’re massive dorks, probably also obnoxious… sometimes in a REALLY annoying way. They’re either a) very wise and curious b) lil preachy and stuck up c) just plain dumb clowns with no filter. But they’re all funny. And they take things lightly, with a natural ease. This means sometimes they may offend other people just because they assume everyone’s as chill as they are; „relax! I was just kidding!” - that’s a phrase you’ll hear from them often… I mean, unless you’re a jokester yourself and you’re unmoved by their sarcastic or teasing words. They have somewhat spiritual or philosophical nature so besides making you laugh, be prepared for deep monologues. They want to believe everything will eventually fall into place. It’s also hard to bring them down - or I should say, it’s hard to make them acknowledge that they're feeling down - they always try to distract or cover it up with a joke, usually a self-depricating one. If Sagittarius Moon (or Sagittarius in general tbh) is telling you that they’re unhappy, then it’s serious.

I’ve noticed there comes a point in life for a Libra Moon where they just have enough. They’re too nice for everyone and one day they wake up and yell about how they have to do everything for everyone and everyone wants something from them and bLah bLah. Makes me think of when Bieber was this overly nice kid and then he was like “I’M NOT TAKING PICTURES WITH FANS ANYMOREEEE AAGhJFJFUWIUq”. Yup, a Libra Moon, everyone. They know how to charm and appeal to people, I think overall they’re easily liked by others. Sometimes it’s simply because they like to kiss people’s ass just to avoid being rejected. That’d be a Libra Moon’s nightmare. They like other people’s company too much. And they thrive in relationships and in a big circle of friends. What they hate is confrontations (like every other Libra placement omg). They may be good mediators when it comes to other people but if they’re involved in an argument they get sooooo passive aggressive. They just don’t know how to handle conflicts - it’s as if their nervous system wasn’t designed for emotional outbursts (because, you know, everything needs to be peaceful and harmonious Venus-style). A fussy or angry Libra Moon will suddenly get loud as they blame someone for something… and then they’ll leave the room cause they’re scared to even hear the other side of the argument. Or, alternatively, they’ll make a doormat out of themselves just to stay quiet and avoid causing any rift. And making decisions? I think it’s common for them to have two different romantic interests and feeling so dramatically torned between them *Alexa play Agony from Into the Woods*. Then when they decide, they have problems breaking the bad news to one of them.

On the other end we have Aries Moons. *deep breath* Listen, I think I’ve said enough about having Moon in Aries (or rather purely dissing it) but last time it made a bit of controversy so why not wreak even more havoc. I have a good description for this one: I will punch you but be gentle with me cause it’s easy to break my fragile heart. So basically, imagine putting Buttercup and Bubbles into one person. And honestly, I need to say this, women with this placement are just hot badasses, look at friggin Angelina Jolie. The queen of badass. The queen of hot. People say because Aries folks move quickly (literally and figuratively lol), they often get bored with whatever got them excited last week... or yesterday. Ha, yeah, right. You get their heart to open up and they’re going to have their eyes for you ONLY, like a lil puppy. Give us treats and we’ll build our world around you. But NOT in a clingy way by any means, we need our space and independence after all. My lil niece is an Aries Moon and ever since I started playing guitar with her, she became my #1 fan or something. That’s the energy. But we get easily bored with day-to-day stuff so yeah, there’s that. Innocent and clumsy yet raw in their emotions - so there’s potential to make mistakes sometimes (or a lot of times) or having this tunnel vision, like „I want this and I don’t care about anything else!”. And then excusing it with some „but the heart wants what it wants” crap (looking @ ya, Selena Gomez). They experience constant inner movement and turbulence that needs a physical outlet in order to feel satisfied. WE NEED PASSION IN OUR LIVES, OKAY?!?!?? now leave me alone

Aquarius Moons aren’t as cold as you might think. People like to describe them as if their Moons actually disappeared from their charts: dEtaCheD, uNeMotiOnaL, tHey fEeL nOtHinG. It’s just they don’t sit and dwell on things, they find solutions to the problems. If something doesn’t make them feel right, they just leave that situation. They do care about other people’s well-being, they’re very sensitive in that regard, they’re humanitarians after all. Yeah, they detach, but from their own emotions - in order to make sense of them. They may seem like snow queens sometimes (and this comes from an Aqua rising) but they’re really friendly and if you pique Aqua Moon’s interest, they’re going to be curious about you. They like new exciting things so if you’re cool enough, you have their attention. Usually they’re pretty progressive as well and can’t stand injustice. That’s why you’ll see them standing up for those who are in need. Uranian energy gives them a specific type of sharp intuition and wit. Idk they’re just cute in a quirky way. But this buzzing, fast energy is a great recipe for anxiety, over-thinking and frequent changes of heart. Similarly to Sadges, they need constant exploration and stimuli. Intelligent, people-oriented (but not people-pleasing! Look to Libras for that), individualistic. They definitely need their own space and independence. Their decision-making is fast and it’s easy for them to just say „screw it, I’m doing this”. My Aquarius Moon friend just casually decided that she’s moving to Turkey cause nothing in our city (or even country) seems interesting or helping her expand… So she was like, see ya suckers, I’m leaving.

Leo Moons shine from within. You’ll spot them from a mile away even if they’re on the shyer side. They’re all lil stars no matter their profession. Very expressive people & easily excitable. Art galleries, live shows, theater - they love a creative environment even if they don’t pursue that lifestyle themselves... One of my Leo Moon friends is an art junkie – suggest taking her to an obscure play at the local bar, a music festival, a weird museum – she’ll say yes in the blink of an eye. And she loves discussing these things. A Leo Moon may not see themselves as artistically inclined, but usually sooner or later they at least try dipping their toes in music, arts, acting, dancing... you name it. They’ll learn a simple 3-chord song on a ukulele and then play it to you in excitement. Imagine a lil kid making you a puff piece and being super proud of it. Sometimes they just need some encouragement. Remember, Leos feed off of praise, that’s their fuel. Doesn’t mean they’re all proud, egotistical people but what it does mean is that they need a lil assurance to gain their self-confidence. I lived with a Leo Sun/Moon for almost 15 years (who’s a musician btw so yeah, a classic creative Leo type) - he did have some issues lol but ego wasn’t one of them. Drama followed him everywhere but I’m pretty sure he disliked it himself. BUT, with that being said, I feel like Leo Moons tend to dramatize themselves internally. People say it’s something Virgos or Geminis would do - because of their tendency to overthink, but Leos can just go straight to a worst-case scenario in their heads simply because they exaggerate everything. So don’t be surprised to see a Leo Moon feeling down and anxious. On the bright side, be their cheerleader and they’ll give that to you in return. They need sparks and dullness kills their upbeat spirit. They need to feel their own heartbeat so the feeling of excitement is crucial for their well-being. Romantic, giving and kind. They’re fixed fire so once they’re set on something or someone, they give their all and are rather loyal.

I feel like my chart low-key tells me I should dislike Taurus Moons but I just want to melt in their arms and just stay there? Like, forever? Low maintenance but a bit slow-moving and stubborn. They won’t settle easily, at least not officially, so you need to have a lot of patience with them. They need 3 things to feel secure and at peace: physical stimuli, time and a stable place they know they can always come back to. And it’s not like all of them are total lazy homebodies, they may be active spirits & travellers but they are going to have a reallyyyyy nice cosy flat somewhere near their childhood place (gotta be be close to their moms, you know). Not necessary materialistic but they may have one thing that they collect throughout their entire life and they won’t. ever. get. rid. of. it. There needs to be at least one constant in their life - like you know when Elton John decided to go to therapy but one thing he stuck to was shopaholism? Very Taurus Moon of him. Also, they’re very affectionate. In fact, may have issues differentiating between affection and passion - this is actually something Taurus Moon and Aries Moon have in common. Pro tip - and this is in regard to all Taurus placements - don’t smell bad when you’re around them (I mean, don't smell bad in general, no one likes stinky people lol). They have a sensitive smell. Doesn’t help that they like to smell everything. EVERYTHING. I swear, Taurus, stop sticking your nose in every single thing!!! You don't need to know how that piece of utensil smells like. Jeez.

Scorpio Moon (shoutout to those who remember me accidentally calling them sporpio last time I made a post on Moons lol). I honestly don’t know what to tell you... I feel like all you hear about Scorpio Moon is 100% true, there’s nothing to debunk here. It’s the Moon of extremes. Prone to jealousy and surpressing emotions; severe trust issues; they’re instigators. I was low-key bullied by a few Scorpio Moons when I was in school so there’s that. Very secretive and private. Scorpio Moon will be like “I’m in control of the situation!!!!” and you’ll just look at them and think, yeah, right, looks like the situation is controlling you. But keep being in denial, sure. Like, don’t get me wrong, Scorpios in general can be TOTAL SWEETHEARTS OMG but ya’ll have issues. Even celebrities who have this placements... Think Beyonce or Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus... I feel like they have issues lol, especially with control and the need for everything to be perfectly the way they want it to be. To be fair, that’s probably why they’re all so influential and high status: it’s either their way or highway. They need constant reinvention; they’re the ones to wake up one day and decide they’re going through a spiritual awakening blah blah. They also like to talk about dark and shocking topics while having casual lunch with you... So like, be warned that you may end up with a depressed mood after talking to them for 10 minutes. And their mood swings... don’t even get me started on that.

I don't know where to start with Virgo Moons... I feel like they're very calculated and nit-picky but they're a lot warmer than Virgo Suns. I think I called them softies in my last Moon post. Very sweet people but prone to anxiety. You gotta experience seeing them having a heart attack over someone mixing bananas with milk or messing with their stuff that’s been put in a perfect arrangement. I saw a Virgo Moon once literally squealing shouting "YOU'RE GONNA RUIN YOUR LAPTOP WITH THAT SUPERGLUE!!!" Highly entertaining to watch, not gonna lie. Gordon Ramsay has his Moon in Virgo - it’s conjunct Uranus and Pluto so that’s an extreme but I think him being fed up with people over small inconsistencies in their food prep is a perfect example of this energy (btw his chart is hilarious, it literally explains EVERYTHING). They're VERY picky with their food as well, just as Virgo Suns tend to be. Like, they’ll only have a specific type of single origin coffee or they’ll be vegan or something. Self-critical over their work, which is a plus... except for when finishing a simple task takes them a few hours because they want to make it perfect. They take everything seriously. This of course doesn't mean they're total bores - on the contrary, Mercurial energy gives them witty approach and a talent for choosing the right words at the right time. Tho they can be a bit awkward or shy with it. Can be as bubbly as Gemini but the grounded earthy energy gives them more practical and almost nurturing nature - earth signs are providers after all and Virgo is the sign of service - helping others is like their second nature. I’ve noticed they often find comfort in devoting themselves to a choosen task - this is why if they pursue something, they’re really good at it. They’re also very likely to dissect their emotions.

I’m not a fan of water Moons in general but Pisces Moon is the best water Moon in my opinion. Maybe because I like Pisces overall. I think it’s like a tweaked Sagittarius Moon - just more internalized, withdrawn & gloomy. But unlike Sag, who has a tendency to be an adventurous optimist, Pisces likes to focus on the negatives instead. Obviously, they can be very upbeat, they’re Jupiter-ruled after all, but there’s somehing whiny about them lol. Just like Sadges, they dream big and have their standards put up sooo high but if there's not much active energy in their charts, they’re often too passive to actually fullfill any of that - or I should say, they’re stuck daydreaming about it, believing it’ll just magically manifest for them... OR they do everything with an apathetic approach. What I do like about them is that they’re funny. And really chill - sometimes to the point of coming off as confused or hazy. I feel like a lot of them would just love to sleep all day... or sit by the lake and just think about the world. Most of them are also compassionate folks - again, maybe a bit too much. Hey Pisces, you don’t have to take everything to heart, it’s okay. On the bright side, they have big imagination and the ability to disconnect and just create. I have a few Pisces Moons in the family: one’s that sleepy artistic type with grand visions, one is an asshole-ish but funny entrepreneur with a questionable work ethic and one is a witty IT guy who’s actually a workaholic and likes to shut in his own world of computers and numbers or whatever he does there... So there’s this factor of tunnel vision, escapism and, on the more negative side, being kinda iffy and almost addicted to the way they want things to be. Once they set their eyes on something it’s done deal…

My issue with Capricorn Moons is that they're often trying to be sooooo mature omg, like, loosen up a bit. It usually starts when they're in their later teens... They can be the most rebellious kid that likes to have fun and suddenly they'll be like "I'm too old for this ugh grow up" *judgmental stare*. My 18-year old niece once literally roasted my sister that she's in her 30s and still doesn't have her own place (well so do I so I guess she also indirectly roasted me as well???). And she was SO deadpan with it. Because she herself wants to be independent and start a family before turning 25. This is classic Capricorn Moon energy. They suck out joy out of everything lol. Of course, OF COURSE, it depends on the whole chart but I feel like worst-case scenario is that at one point in their life (or maybe even a few times throughout it) they go through a massive shake-up that makes them change their attitude and re-evaluate their structures. There's this multi-instrumentalist Yvette Young - she's a sweet, funny Cancer/Leo mix but her Moon is in Capricorn. She used to be a competitive pianist but the pressure that was put on her has led her to severe health issues. Like yes, she’s now an extremely talented musician - thanks to family’s expectations & a rigid schooling system (Saturn) but it did cost her a lot. She has recovered since then but I think it's a perfect example of this energy. It’s very ambitious and hardworking but emotionally demanding in the sense that you have to actually put your emotions aside in order to deal with the rest. Another thing, because Moon can be associated with family, there's often a weird dynamic surrounding this topic. I don't think I've met a Capricorn Moon that had a completely healthy and happy relationship with their fam or one of the family members. Or, alternatively, there can be a strong bond between one of them but usually created in the atmosphere of hardships.

Last but not least, Cancer Moons. I had three school friends with this placement and all of them made this sad, whiny face as they said „oh I don’t knoooow anymoreee”  when they were feeling torned or frustrated. To be fair, two of them are water Suns so for them, it added to the mushyness. All Cancer Moons I know are family people or better yet, baby people. One of those school friends is now a guidance counsellor, working with kids; the other turned her instagram into a gallery of her own child after she gave birth. So much kid content, omg. There’s also something very indecisive about them… or I should say, hesitant. They’re not very fast at making decisions. Also, what’s interesting, they’re kind of like walking libraries, they remember a lot – so they store a lot of information in their brains just like air signs but they process it in a completely different way – emotional, obviously. I think this also makes them hold grudges a lot. For them it’s more of a question of „how does it make me feel?” rather than „how valid is it?”. There’s certain stubborness in them in that regard because they don’t keep their minds open. It’s also hard for them to walk away from people and situations, like a crab pinching you with its claws – it won’t let go. Sensitive but not easy to open up; very protective of themselves and their loved ones & they tend to shut down in their crab shells. But they may crave connection and the feeling of belonging. Also very caring and with a big imagination. They’re very receptive of their environment so mood swings are a thing for them.

#IT'S HEREEE #i think i edited this post a million times #i kept changing and adding stuff #but i did it #astrology #moon signs #moon #aries moon #taurus moon #gemini moon #cancer moon #leo moon #virgo moon #libra moon #scorpio moon #sagittarius moon #capricorn moon #aquarius moon #pisces moon #mercurytrinemoon

[emeraldiis]

Double Vision

A/N: this is so self indulgent i should be ashamed of myself

AO3 Link

Pairing: Loki x Reader, President Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary:  You and your boyfriend, 2012 Loki, are trapped at the end of time. But you're not alone. President Loki just got two new toys to play with.

Warnings: threesome, DUBIOUS CONSENT, dom/sub, sub!Loki, bondage, name calling, rough sex, mild knife play

You had been pruned seconds after Loki had in the battle in the TVA’s headquarters. Strangely, it didn’t hurt like you had expected. Just a faint sensation of completely and utter emptiness, and then everything went dark. Just like falling asleep. When you came back to your senses, it was just as gentle. You awoke in a bed of grass, staring up at a cloudy sky. A wave of relief calmed the rising panic in your veins when you turned to see Loki lying next to you.

You took in your surroundings slowly. The clouds looming above you looked threatening, like an impending storm, and far off in the distance was what looked like a ruined city. Crumbling skyscrapers pierced the horizon like jagged teeth. Heart speeding up in fear, you quickly shook Loki awake. “Wake up,” you hissed. “I have no idea where the hell we are.”

Loki grumbled and raised a disoriented hand to bat yours away, but still cracked open his hazy eyes to squint at you. A smile lit up his face when he saw you staring back at him, and you’d have been touched if it wasn’t important that he wake up right now. Upon seeing the anxiety written clearly on your face, he furrowed his brows and sat up, shaking his head to chase away the lingering confusion. You could tell the moment he realized something was very...wrong with the realm you found yourselves in, as his eyes widened and he was instantly on guard.

A deafening roar shook the ground, alerting the both of you to a looming danger, and you turned around to see a purple mass bearing down on you. You’d seen your fair share of fucked up things to know that this was not something you wanted to stick around for. Around you, small, bird-like creatures fled from the shadowy monster. In a flash, you were on your feet, tugging on Loki’s arm to pull him up with you. “Come on,” you yelled, raising your voice to be heard over the wind that had suddenly picked up speed.

Loki whipped his head around, desperately searching for shelter, then pointed at the city. “There, run!” He took off in a sprint towards the buildings, with you stumbling along behind him. The head start you got seemed to be enough to out run whatever was chasing you, but you didn’t dare slow down as you ran full tilt to safety. As the city drew closer, a sense of dread crept into your limbs, but you pushed it down. Better to race towards the unknown when the known was actively trying to kill you.

Your legs burned and your lungs were screaming out in protest, but Loki’s panted encouragements kept you on your feet and moving long enough to reach what looked like a half-collapsed hotel. Loki rushed inside the dilapidated building, holding the door open for you to scramble inside before slamming it shut. Another roar made the building tremble, and you bit your lip. As the ceiling shook and spat dust into your hair, you prayed that it would hold. Out of the frying pan, you thought to yourself.

Fortunately, it seemed as if the monster had moved on in search of easier prey, and you took the moment of fragile peace to sink against the wall and finally catch your breath. You dropped your head into your hands, trying to force your breathing back into a normal rhythm and figure out what the hell was happening. You’d just about calmed down when you heard Loki chuckle. “What’s so fu-funny?” You asked, still panting.

“That wasn’t me.”

“Huh?” You looked up, then felt your newly regained breath leave your lungs as another Loki emerged from the darkened hallway. He was dressed in what looked like a suit tailored after your Loki’s Asgardian armor, and he wore his horns proudly. A “Vote Loki,” pin sat crooked on his suit jacket. The flickering lights above him illuminated his grin, making him look like, well, a villain.

“You’re a variant,” your Loki said, stepping in front of you and eyeing his twin warily. The only ever Loki variant you had encountered was Sylvie, and she was questionable at the best of times. Loki was right to be on guard.

“I suppose you could call me that,” President Loki drawled, tracing a finger along the dusty wall as he stalked towards you. It left tracks on the wallpaper.  He leaned to the side to peer around you Loki, and you felt naked under his predatory gaze. You shrank further behind your boyfriend.

“My, what do you have here?” He asked, eyes lighting up in a way that made your hair stand on end. “What a pretty toy, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I had a turn?”

Your Loki groweld protectively, and he took a step forward. “Do not lay a finger on her.”

President Loki frowned. “That’s no way to treat the superior version of yourself.” He continued his march forward, then slowed to a stop inches from your Loki’s defensive frame. “It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen a beautiful woman.”

You were horrified to find a confusing sort of arousal settling into your stomach. This was, after all, just another version of Loki, the man who’d spent so many nights taking you apart and putting you back together again. You’d seen those same hooded eyes so many times, seen that same smile as Loki made you squirm. Despite trying your hardest to fight it, you could feel a dampness soak into your panties, making you shift uncomfortably.

Just as perceptive as your own Loki, President Loki seemed to sense your growing interest. His frown broke out into a wide smile. “Oh, you want it, don’t you? Go on, tell your guard dog to back down, so we can play.” He nodded towards your Loki, who had turned around to look at you with perplexed, hurt eyes. 

“Really?” He asked, flicking his gaze from the blush on your face towards your tensing thighs. He instantly recognized the arousal he’d seen so many times before, and his expression grew bewildered. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you whimpered, trying to defend yourself. “He looks just like you, I mean, he is you, and I…” you squeezed your eyes shut. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

This was all so fucked. Just minutes ago you were running for your life in a strange new world, and now all that adrenaline had shifted into a violent desire to be broken to pieces. Just so you didn’t have to think about the horror that was your current situation. President Loki was still staring at you, pupils now blown and tongue running across his bottom lip in blatant want.

“Oh, love. There’s nothing wrong with you,” the variant purred. His voice was a bit deeper than your Loki’s, but it still had that velvet smoothness that always made you weak in the knees. A bright flash of green shot out from his fingertips, ensnaring your Loki in glowing rope.

He gasped in surprise, and immediately began to struggle against the magic, but it was in vain. You cried out and reached for him, but President Loki was faster. He grabbed your Loki’s arm, then began to drag him away from you and down the hallway. With a sharp whistle, he motioned his head for you to follow, and found yourself standing and trailing behind the two Lokis like an obedient dog.

President Loki pulled yours into the depths of the hotel, you following anxiously. Your Loki shouted threats and harsh words, but the magic bonds kept him nearly immobile as he was guided by President Loki. You didn’t dare try anything stupid; you weren’t a fighter, and you suspected that this variant far outmatched both you and your lover in combat. All you could do was obey and hope he showed mercy.

You were led into a suite that seemed more put together than the rest of the hotel. Everything looked much cleaner, especially the bed, and most of the walls appeared to be stable. President Loki shoved your Loki into an armchair at the back wall of the room, and then positioned it so that it was facing the bed. “Well?” He asked, lazily gesturing towards the bed.

A gush of wetness seeped from your core at the same time as fear gripped your chest. Two conflicting emotions warred within you, and you felt hot tears stinging your eyes at the confusion of it all. On one hand, you loved your Loki. There was not telling how trustworthy this variant was, if he was going to hurt you or your boyfriend. On the other, this was the once in a lifetime chance to experience a threesome with only Loki. A fantasy that most likely no other person had gotten the chance to experience outside of their dreams.

You cast a helpless glance over at your Loki. When you weren’t looking, President Loki must have gagged him, because there was now an emerald piece of fabric stuffed between his lips. Your pussy throbbed in appreciation at the sight while your heart ached at the terror in his eyes.

President Loki rolled his eyes. “I can’t say I’ve ever met a version of me quite this soft,” he said, walking to his clone’s chair. “Let me help you relax.” President Loki straddled your Loki, chuckling at the muffled whimper that spilled from behind the gag. The variant brought his head down to bite at Loki's neck, and your mouth dropped open.

To your surprise--and hesitant delight--your Loki seemed to be almost enjoying the treatment. His head had fallen back against the chair, and he was breathing in that strained way that he did when he was turned on and trying to hide it. Kinky bastard, you thought to yourself.

President Loki paused his assault on your Loki’s neck to look back at you. “See? He likes it, dear. Now be a good girl and get on the bed,” he commanded. The growl in his voice let you know that he would not tolerate being disobeyed again, so you nodded and clambered on top of the bed. 

Sliding off Loki’s lap, the variant gave him a quick pat on the head and then made his way over to you. “Mmmf!” Loki mumbled, earning a sharp look from President Loki.

“I won’t hurt her. If you stay quiet like a good boy, I may let you have a turn.”

That sent chills down your spine. The thought of both of the Lokis having their way with you was almost too much, and your shaking knees finally gave out to send you sprawling onto your back against the pillows. Seemingly amused, President Loki snickered and crawled onto the bed. He crept forward until he was hovering over you, dark blue eyes raking across your trembling form.

You squirmed under his piercing gaze. The shivers making their way up and down your spine were unrelenting, no matter how hard you tried to keep still and quiet. “What happens now?” You squeaked out.

President Loki’s mouth opened in a wide green, revealing stark white teeth that almost looked sharp. “Now, we play.” Green light appeared at his fingertips again, and your hands shot up uncontrollably. You yelped in surprise and tugged on the rope that had appeared on your wrists. You were bound to the headboard, completely at the mercy of this variant. And fuck, it was exciting and terrifying and arousing all at the same time. What a mess.

There was that green light again. This time, it revolved around itself until it took the shape of a jet black dagger. President Loki ran his thumb along the handle, eyes leaving you to gaze lovingly at the knife. Your breath quickened in fear. “Stay still,” he purred. With deft fingers, President Loki raked the tip of the dagger down your shirt, cutting it open at the front. You let out an embarrassingly high pitched squeal as cold metal came in contact with your bare skin. But, as he promised, the variant did not hurt you. He made quick work of your pants as well, abandoning the knife in favor of simply yanking them down your legs along with your panties.

The cold air hitting your bare skin made you gasp. You tugged uselessly at your wrists, wanting to cover yourself in embarrassment at your sudden nakedness. Your frantic squirming made President Loki chuckle, and he leaned down to nip at your ear. “Don’t worry, sweet thing. I’ll warm you up.” His hot breath against your ear sent shivers of pleasure down your spine, and you couldn’t suppress a soft moan.

Suddenly remembering your restrained boyfriend, you managed to peer around President Loki to make sure he was alright. Your Loki was still bound and gagged, but now his face was alight with a crimson blush. Your eyes drifted downwards to the prominent bulge in his pants. When he caught you staring, Loki dropped his gaze away from yours, ashamed.

President Loki watched the silent conversation, amused. He trailed a thin finger up your thigh, then sat back to straddle your hips. “He’s enjoying himself,” the variant said confidently. He grinned at you. “I know because he’s me, and he likes what I like.”

All you could do was stare up at him with wide eyes, naked and defenseless underneath his weight.

“Oh? Surprised, are we?” President Loki drawled as he waved his hand casually. His suit faded away with his gesture, leaving him bare as well. His long cock mirrored your boyfriend’s, and it was swollen and dripping. You licked your lips. “I’ll take it you two haven’t fully...explored his interests. Us Lokis crave dominance, to be left at the mercy of a pretty thing like you.”

“So why aren’t you-”

He cut you off with a gentle slap to your inner thigh. When you sucked in a harsh breath, he chuckled. “Because there’s something else we love. Power.” WIth that, President Loki moved to place his legs on either side of you. He grabbed your ankles roughly and pressed your legs back until they sat atop his shoulders. You groaned at the stretch, then sighed heavily as he titled his head to the side to mouth at your ankle. “Ready, slut?” He growled.

You didn’t get a chance to answer. The air was stolen from your lungs as the variant plunged his hard cock into you, the stretch burning. You screamed out in pleasure and pain, listening to what sounded like both Lokis moaning in unison. The version that was currently buried deep inside of your heat rolled his eyes back in pleasure at the feeling of your pussy flexing around him.

“Oh, it’s been so long,” the variant moaned. “I want to make this last.” He began thrusting his hips lazily, more grinding into you than anything. You whimpered as you got used to the size of him. It felt like you were dreaming with how overwhelming it all was. Your core throbbed again and again as new gushes of arousal spilled from your cunt, and your head was spinning with the knowledge that just feet from you, your boyfriend was being forced to watch another version of himself tear you apart. And he loved every second of it.

From behind President Loki, your Loki whined, and you could just barely see him twitching his hips up into nothing. “Please,” he begged, and you noticed that he had managed to slip the gag from his mouth. You weren’t sure what he was begging for. To be touched, to touch you. Probably both.

President Loki looked at you with lidded eyes, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he ground his cock deep inside of you. “Should we let him play, too?” He asked, voice ragged.

You nodded frantically. Words escaped you, but you desperately wanted your boyfriend here. You longed for his touch, wanting to feel them both. President Loki nodded and waved his hand back towards the chair. Loki’s bonds vanished, and he was scrambling onto the bed as soon as he was free. 

He crawled up to the top of the bed, hands outstretched to grab your face and pull you in for a kiss. Your Loki gasped desperately as President Loki grabbed him by the hair, pulling hard so that he stopped just short of reaching your lips. Your Loki whimpered and went nearly limp in submission.

The variant let go of Loki’s hair, tsking at him like he was scolding a child. “You may not touch her without my permission.” His voice was surprisingly even, given how he was still thrusting into you. “Are we clear?”

Your Loki opened his mouth to argue, then thought better of it and nodded obediently. President Loki grinned wolfishly. “Good boy. You may kiss her.”

In a flash, your lover was leaning over you, pressing his mouth clumsily to yours. His tongue sought entry, and you let him in enthusiastically. You could practically feel the desperation seeping from his every pore. You’d never seen him this worked up, and silently wished you had discovered this kink of his a little sooner. “You look beautiful like this,” he panted into your mouth.

When you began to reply, it was cut short by a yelp as President Loki’s hand dropped down to play with your clit. Your Loki kissed you again, drinking in all of your moans as his variant brought you higher and higher with those deft fingers. With a growl, President Loki snatched your Loki’s hair again and dragged him away from your lips. Loki’s pitiful whine matched yours as you both gasped for air.

“Fuck her mouth,” President Loki commanded, increasing the pace of his thrusts with a growl of pleasure. His fingers kept up their assault on your clit, and you fought to crane your neck up and open your mouth to be ready for your boyfriend’s cock.

Loki hastily yanked off his pants and pulled out his weeping dick. He shuffled over to you, then leaned forward until he was close enough to guide himself onto your tongue. This was familiar, the heavy weight of Loki’s erection stretching your jaw. You closed your lips around him and began to suck, gritting your teeth against the cries of pleasure that threatened to break free from your throat.

President Loki let go of the other Loki’s hair and instead gripped your hip roughly as he began fucking you an earnest. “So tight,” he hissed. “Cum for me, little slut. Cum for your god.”

Helpless to do anything but obey, you felt your back arch up as your entire body convulsed. Pleasure ripped through you and left you a whimpering mess, drooling around you Loki’s cock. Your boyfriend cursed at the sight of you cumming, and began to pump himself in and out of your mouth. “I-I can’t help, fuck, help myself, darling. Ah, oh gods.”

“Such a good girl,” President Loki praised. He groaned at the tightening of your walls, then removed his hand from your clit to wrap a long arm around your Loki’s neck. Your Loki was forced to lean back against President Loki’s chest, only able to keep his cock in your mouth because of his lanky body.

Your Loki cried out, the sound broken up by his variant cutting off his oxygen. His hips stuttered violently, and you felt thick cum spurt into your throat. Somehow, you were able to force it down instead of choking, and you heard Loki whimper at the feel of his sensitive length being constricted by your throat. “Love, fuck,” he keened.

Seeing the two of you cum proved to be too much for the variant. “Oh, Norns, I can’t,” he groaned out harshly, then slammed himself into you and held his hips there as his cock pulsed within you. As he came, the magic binding your wrists dissipated, and you brought your arms down to rub at the sore muscles. Hot seed spilled out of you, running down to your ass. President Loki watched his cum drip from your swollen pussy in appreciation, panting softly. 

Your Loki had collapsed next to you, and was now snuggled up against your side. The variant frowned at the sight, and you could almost detect a rueful look on his face. You hissed in a pained breath as President Loki slowly lowered your aching legs from his shoulders. He sighed as he pulled out of you, a rush of liquid gushing out and wetting the bed. Most of the dominance gone from his demeanor, he shifted awkwardly, as if he wasn’t sure where he fit in this dynamic.

His sudden insecurity didn’t surprise you. After all, he was a Loki, and they were notorious for their false confidence. It tracked. After a moment’s hesitation, you reached up and grabbed his arm to pull him to lay down next to you. He stared at you in slight confusion, but obliged, leaving you sandwiched between the two Lokis. You turned to your boyfriend, who was already drifting off, too fucked out to keep his eyes open. With a soft smile, you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

President Loki cleared his throat, catching your attention. “I, uh. It’s a bit sad. Seeing what I could’ve had. I can’t help but be envious.” He chewed on his bottom lip and looked away, bravado completely gone.

You rolled your eyes and threw a tired arm around him, feeling a rush of satisfaction when he purred happily and cuddled against you. “I think I have room in my life for more than one Loki,” you whispered. And it was true. If Loki was born to be a villain in every timeline, then you were born to love each one of them.

#loki x reader #loki smut #imagine #fanfic #my writing #president loki #loki series #mcu #marvel #tva

[angry-geese]

Hello. I found your last post by Sukuna very nicely written. Can I make a request for this? S/o didn't feel very good there. Would you write a scenario where s/o has a very bad cold?

of course anon! here you go <3

Oddity - Sukuna x Reader

Warnings: none! mention of illness but its just a cold. sukuna being dramatic as usual. sfw. gn!reader

a/n: This one is quite a bit more light-hearted than the last. I went with true form Sukuna because i'm absolutely feral for monstrous men being soft for their s/o's

Word Count: 1.4k

Your arms stretch out only to find the other side of the bed cold.

The previous night hardly brought any rest. You awake exhausted, and with a headache, and you'd very much like to stay in bed, but the dryness in your throat makes you stir. Your throat hurts, talking is a chore. You have a cough that doesn't want to go away. It's interrupting your sleep, making you irritable.

Sukuna is the first to figure out something's wrong.

He doesn't need sleep the same way humans do, but when he lays next to you, he dreams for the first time in centuries. There's something oddly human about waking up next to you. He lost his humanity long ago. The man is a monster. But when he’s next to you, slivers of his old self shine through. His feelings on that are conflicted. He wasn't very good when he was human, but all humans have their similarities. All humans dream. That's part of what makes them human. His feelings about that are conflicted. Not all dreams are good. And Sukuna finds himself irritated that he can't control them.

When he has the time, he stays until you wake up. He has all the time in the world to do what he wants. You don't. So when you sleep, he only wants to be by your side. This morning was a special case. Someone demanded the King of Curses’ attention. He’s not sure what could be more important than him spending his morning with you, his beloved pet, but it required him to leave.

He’s far from sentimental. But you’ve grown on him. Though he can't stand most humans, the things you do interests him. He makes note of each and every one of your small habits.

You go about your morning like usual. Aside from overall feeling awful, you think nothing of it. It's not bad enough that you can't ignore it. Your first instinct is to say it's allergies. You’re not sure what's around here that causes them, but it's the first to come to mind. There’s not a whole lot you can do about them. At best you can wait them out. They were never that bad anyway. Your lack of sleep has left you tired, and short tempered. He blames it on the fragility of humans. Sukuna, in turn, has managed to piss you off first thing in the morning.

He leaves you alone for a good part of the morning. He finds himself irritable, his mood souring. Your bad mood only makes his worse. Any servants that bother him are quickly dismissed. Word spreads to leave him be.

When you only get worse, he gets worried. It's times like these that Sukuna realizes he doesn't know a whole lot about how humans work. Unless he’s causing it, illnesses all but slip his mind. He knows how to cause harm, but fixing it is a different story. Though he's normally calm and collected, his mind immediately goes to the worst. To him, you're dying.

Never in his life could he imagine himself getting so worked up over a human. He curses himself for it. Humans are fragile creatures. Their life is fleeting. Death is a silent, constant companion, walking hand in hand with life itself.

You’ve gone back to bed when he returns to your shared room. The curtains have been drawn tight, not allowing any light to pass in. Bright light makes your head hurt. You’re content with staying in bed until late into the day. If that's what you want, he can't see himself arguing with you.

The mattress dips under his weight as he sits. You grumble something, still half asleep. His hand smooths across your back. He’s not sure what he wants, but some part of him has to touch you. His nails are getting long, and feel nice against your back. Your pride wants you to tell him to piss off, but him scratching your back feels too nice.

He doesn't remember you getting injured. You show no sign of injury, so that’s quickly ruled out. At first he thinks you’ve been poisoned. You have not. Nobody in their right mind would poison you, mostly out of fear of Sukuna’s wrath. Their fear of him transfers over into a fear of you. Not that you’re as frightening as the king of curses himself, but out of fear of what he would do after.

"You're hurt." He says.

"It's a cold," you say, "I'll live."

You aren't noticeably warmer, but you are feverish. The back of his hand presses to your forehead. He's not sure what he's looking for, but he's seen this done before by mothers consoling their sick children. When humans get sick, they warm up. He knows that. He wants to call for Uraume. The man knows more about humans than he does- he is one. If he asks you, you’ll only say you’re fine, and wave him off.

"I'm alright," you say, "it's just something I've got to wait out."

He thinks he understands. Outward his only emotion is indifference. His mood does improve. You’re not dying. There's that. Even after being reassured you’ll be alright, he’s still worried. He knows humans are fragile. But they’re also rather persistent.

You audibly protest when he pulls away.

“I thought you wanted me to go away.” He says, following this with a dark laugh.

“I do!”

“Then why are you trying so hard to make me stay?” He asks.

As you try to stand, he moves, preventing you from doing so. Frustrated with him, you try to shove him aside. You do nothing to him. Even in a non-weakened state, he’s much stronger than you. Fighting against him is futile, but you do so to preserve your pride. You can't give up without putting up some sort of a fight. His chest presses against yours, your smaller body is caged in his arms. He litters your neck with wet, open mouth kisses. His lips are soft, and tickle your skin, sending you into a giggling fit. A coughing fit wracks your body, making you double over. You let out a squeak as he pulls you into his arms, cradling your body against his chest. Your arms loop around his neck. He runs warm naturally, you’re rather glad to steal his body heat.

“Do I have to hold you down?” He asks. “Or are you going to stay put and let me take care of you?”

You nod, too tired to put up much more of a fight. Your stubbornness, however irritating at times, was endearing to him. He pulls the blankets up around you, tucking them under your chin.

Sukuna slips out of the room, leaving the door open. He doesn't plan on being gone long. The hall is well-lit, albeit unusually quiet. A moment later he returns with tea, mixed with lots of honey. If you need it, he’ll have a servant fetch you medicine. You don't seem to be at that point yet.

When he returns, you’re still in the same spot. You sit up once you see him. He sits, opening his arms. Instinctively you go into them. He’s dragging you into his lap as if you weigh nothing. To him you don't. It's both impressive and terrifying. Your body feels so small and arm against his, he can't help but huddle closer to you, trying to leech off of your warmth.

He holds the cup up to your lips. It's warm against your already feverish skin. Your hands wrap around his, and the cup, as you drink greedily. The warmth of the drink leaves you feeling sleepy, the honey helps with your sore throat. He sets the cup down on the bedside table with a thunk. Steam coils off the surface of the tea.

The intimacy of the moment does not go over his head. It's far too early for him to go to bed, but since you insist, he can't find it in himself to refuse. His hand cups your cheeks as he leans down to kiss your forehead.

His arms wrap around you, pulling you flush to his chest. Your head leans against the crook of his neck. Your fingers idly trace along his tattoos. He pulls the blankets up around you, tucking them around your shoulders.

It's still early in the day, but in his arms, your head resting against his chest, you find yourself slowly drifting off to sleep.

You’re feeling better already.

#jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #jjk #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #sukuna fluff #possibly uncharacteristically soft sukuna #cw illness #fluff

[crguang]

love me tender || ajak.

A/N: part three of memories of another. this one is a bit longer but i felt like it was necessary. next part will be entirely from ajak’s perspective

Moments with Thena were some you cherished deeply. Words became a secondary language between the two of you, not always necessary to understand each other. It was just you and her then, often after an episode that rendered one of you helpless, a feeling neither of you were used to. Silence surrounded you, a rarity on the Domo that you never took for granted. Your shoulder touched hers as you both sat your back to the wall. Thena looked up at Arishem’s statue in the middle of the room, staring but seeming lost in thought. Your gaze was on the floor, occasionally tracing imaginary figures on it with your index finger. No one talked for a while. The other Eternals were out dealing with afraid locals after the deviant attack on their village. Phastos usually stayed behind on the ship, but even he had the decency to leave the both of you a moment alone after Thena’s Mahd Wy’ry episode overlapped with your dissociation.

You and Thena found comfort in each other. Two warriors unable to fulfill their purpose, rendered useless in their own eyes. You were lost in memories that didn’t feel like yours, and she lost the only thing that made her feel alive: the fight. No one else understood what you were going through, not really.

“…What do you see?” It was quiet, almost murmured, but you heard it well.

You knew what she was referring to. You took a breath, exhaling loudly through your mouth, “Depends on my mental state. When I’m… When I feel afraid, I can feel my mind slip away. I see destruction, pain… I can’t move or look away. Feels like being stuck in a nightmare.”

Thena didn’t reply immediately. She hummed pensively while you kept tracing circles on the ground. You knew she understood, even related to an extent. A moment of silence passed before she spoke up again.

“…Feels harder to come back from the longer it lasts, doesn’t it?”

You paused, pursing your lips. You had noticed that, how it seemed to take longer for the others to bring you back as time went by. It was scary. What if you completely lost yourself one day? What if Ajak or any of the others failed to bring you back, what then? You had already become a burden during battle, to think of losing your entire identity to this illness…

“What do you see?” It was your turn to ask her.

Again, Thena took a moment to reply. She seemed pensive, lost in thought as she admired your creator. You didn’t pressure her, gaze fixed on the ground while you brought your knees to your chest. The ship was eerily silent. You were glad to have a moment of rest, though. Dissociating, while not necessarily painful, was emotionally exhausting. It took a toll on your mind every time. You steadied your breathing while Thena collected her thoughts.

“…Death. Suffering.” Her voice was small when she finally spoke up in the quiet of the room. “Sometimes I can feel a burning sensation in my bones.”

She sounded fragile, scared, so unlike the image everyone had of her. You didn’t have to look at her to know she probably was scared, just as you were. You rested your head on her shoulder and she didn’t flinch at the sudden added contact.

“I don’t want to keep hurting everyone,” she confessed in a breath, eyes closing.

“We’re not giving up on you, Thena.”

“Maybe you should.”

She couldn’t see the crease between your brows or the disapproving frown of your mouth. “You don’t abandon family.”

Thena kept quiet at that. She was grateful to have a family that cared for her as the Eternals did, but a part of her was conflicted. She couldn’t keep being a danger to those she cared about. Maybe it would be best if she went her own way. How ironic it was that the Goddess of war was practically useless in battle. What was she supposed to do, to be, if she couldn’t fight? Battle made her feel alive and free and strong. She felt like a shell of who she used to be, and it was not a life she wished to live.

“We’ll find a way,” you continued softly. “Gilgamesh is already good at bringing you back.”

Oh, Gilgamesh. His heart of gold always brought a smile to her lips, even in moments like this. He stuck with her though thick and thin, refusing to let her be on her own, with extreme patience and comprehension. He was too good for her, and she was insanely grateful for him.

“What if I end up killing one of you one day? What if I…”

What if she ended up killing him?

“As long as Ajak is around, I doubt that’ll ever happen,” you replied with certainty. “We can work around your Mahd Wy’ry, just like you guys work around me.”

You could only try to comfort her. You might share a vaguely similar condition, but your troubles weren’t the same. Thena didn’t want to be a danger to those around her and had no idea who she was without the fight. You were afraid of completely losing yourself to the images that tormented your mind every day, of losing sight of who you were and forgetting your family for good.

Her temple came to rest against the top of your head. A small gesture, but you understood what she wanted to say. She appreciated you too.

“…I don’t want to forget who I am,” you confessed in turn, eyes still on the floor.

“As long as Ajak is around, I doubt that’ll ever happen.”

You smiled a little. Ajak was truly the glue that kept you all together. She was strong, decisive, wise but also compassionated and so, so caring. Her authority as a leader was undeniable. For you… she was a bit more. She could pop your nightmarish bubble in a moment and always knew the right thing to say to make you melt into her touch. So, yes, you were choosing to believe that as long as you were with her, you would be fine.

Thena, like the others, had noticed your particular relationship. Ajak was constantly showing you a bit more attention and affection, always touching you, watching you, searching to be close to you. You seemed too have no idea of it, but anyone with working eyesight could see it.

You hummed. “Yes, Ajak seems to be one able to ground me when my mind wanders.”

“Unsurprising.”

“What do you mean?”

Thena chose her words carefully, “…You must care a lot for each other.”

You stayed silent. The Eternal took your silence as an answer.

“Do you love her?” She continued curiously, appreciating the slight change in conversation.

“With everything I have,” you replied almost immediately, voice small. It was still strange to admit it out loud.

“You should tell her.”

“Why?”

“Because she loves you too.”

You didn’t ask her why she seemed so sure of that.

“It’s Ajak, she loves each of us,” you said instead.

Another pensive hum on Thena’s part. She didn’t fight you on it, and that broke your heart a little. Perhaps you were right in thinking there was nothing special between you and your leader if no one else had noticed anything. It was something you had predicted, but it didn’t hurt any less.

“…It’s scary,” you murmured, eyes fluttering closed. You knew Thena heard you anyway. “To give yourself entirely to another. To offer them all of you whether they take it or not, allowing them full control over your being. It’s scary.”

Something in the way Thena’s arm wrapped around your shoulders told you she understood. You took a moment to enjoy her warmth as it wasn’t every day that the blonde held you like this. You wondered if she knew how comforting she could be just by her proximity.

“You don’t have to do that,” she replied, her voice as low as yours.

“My heart will allow nothing less.”

//

Nobody expected you to show up at the celebration that night. The villagers insisted on welcoming the Eternals to a grand party to thank them for earlier. You used to like parties, back when you could enjoy yourself for hours with your loved ones; you and Kingo would dare Gilgamesh to drink more than he possibly could while Sprite urged him on. Sersi was always dancing somewhere with no care in the world, which usually meant that Ikaris wasn’t far. When Ajak managed to kick Phastos out of his own lab, he’d try all the food and drink at least once. Your favourite memory would have to be listening to Sprite’s stories, a bit far from the crowd, eyelids heavy with all the energy you spent earlier. Ajak would sometimes join you, and you’d watch Sprite’s illusions together in silence.

After an eventful day, though, the others didn’t push you to join them in the village. Thena didn’t, she was never fond of parties. You appreciated their concerns, but you missed them. You missed Kingo’s ridiculous dares and Gilgamesh who was always ready to take them on. You missed Sprite’s stories, Sersi’s carefree laughs, Phastos’ interest in everything. The last time you enjoyed yourself with them, you had dissociated unexpectedly. That was how you discovered that it happened any time you felt something strongly, positive or not. It made having fun very difficult. You wanted to try again tonight.

The villagers had lent you some clothes to fit in a bit better. You liked them, they were pretty and allowed you to step out of the ill Eternal identity for one night. You stood in front of the mirror in your bedroom, fixing the fabrics around your body in a way you thought they were intended to be. You had trouble with the back, it was supposed to be buttoned up to cover your skin and you couldn’t reach the buttons.

There was a knock on your door before you could leave to ask your neighbour, Makkari, for her help.

“Come in.”

Your gaze didn’t leave the mirror, slightly tilting your head in different angles to make sure you looked fine. You only caught sight of Ajak when she stood behind you, her smaller frame appearing in the mirror. Her hands reached for the lower buttons of your clothes as she spoke.

“I came to check on you,” she said quietly, hands trailing on your clothes before doing the first button.

You could feel her warmth through the fabrics. You swallowed, forcing yourself to keep your eyes on your face.

“…That’s sweet,” you replied slowly.

“Are you sure you want to go?”

You didn’t have to think about it to know the answer to her question. You couldn’t let the disease win the war. You needed to find a way to clear your mind now more than ever. You needed something to ground you in the present, and Gilgamesh’s drunk babbling would have to do. Ajak’s fingers took their time with your shirt. She was close enough for you to feel her faint breathing on your bare back and you had to shut your eyes in a moment of weakness, relishing in the softness of her skin that would occasionally brush against yours.

Ajak called your name in concern when you didn’t answer. You hoped you didn’t look too flustered when you opened your eyes and finally replied.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

You saw her nod through the mirror, gaze on your back.

“Are you going?” You asked, trying not to fidget with your hands. She was really taking her time.

“Ah… I don’t think so.”

Another button done.

“Why not?”

“Noise,” she said simply. “I have this book that has been calling my name for days.”

You smiled. Partying was a way for a few of you to destress and have fun. Ajak’s way of relieving some of her stress usually was with a good book or by horse riding.

You hummed in understanding.

It was quiet as Ajak helped you with your clothing. Her fingers had brushed your skin a few more times, almost intentionally, and you held in your breath for longer than you thought you could. Did she have any idea how much she affected you? Her perfume was intoxicating. Her hands fixed your collar next and you had to bite your lip, mentally willing the feeling in your stomach to go away. You could only thank her quietly when she asked you to turn around to admire her work. Her eyes took you in, a small, pleased smile on her lips. Your knees felt weak.

When her gaze met yours, you almost forgot about the party entirely.

“You look beautiful.”

The words slipped from her mouth easily, laced with a certain fondness you couldn’t decipher. You only blinked as she pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“Be careful tonight.”

//

Partying wasn’t a good idea. Nothing felt the same as you remembered and you were starting to wonder if your memories had started to blur. When you took a swing of whatever liquor Kingo passed you, you felt nauseous. The noise, the lights, the playful fights and games, it was rapidly becoming too much for you to handle. You didn’t want to ruin the night for your friends, knowing that they needed this as much as you thought you did, so you sat on your own away from the celebrations. It got cold at night. You didn’t know how long you stayed there, controlling your breathing. Your eyes were shut as you tried recalling some things Sersi came up with to calm yourself down. Nothing seemed to work. No one bothered you, which was a relief in itself.

You only noticed the tears when they ended their course on your chin. You felt a bit more lost each day and had nothing to hold on to. You didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. You were recalling moments that the others swore never happened and it was becoming overwhelming. The confused frowns. The worry in their eyes when they looked at you. The softness with which they would address you, as if you were a fragile being who needed to be handle with the gentlest care. Nothing was the same, and you hated it.

You didn’t want to cry here, outside and surrounded by strangers while your family enjoyed themselves not too far from there. You felt vulnerable. It took you a few more minutes of collecting yourself before you could make your way back to the Domo. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep the tears at bay at least until you were inside, but preferably until you closed the door to your room. The ship was silent when you came in and it allowed you to breathe a little better. Thena was either in her room or outside, you didn’t know. Still, you made sure not to make any noise as you approached the hallway to your bedroom.

You paused. The light was on in the room at the end of the hallway and you knew who it belonged to. You almost forgot that Thena wasn’t the only one who chose not to participate in the festivities. At the thought of her, you felt tears prick your eyes again. Your illness making you distance yourself from the Eternals was hard. It torturing you with fake memories of Ajak was plain cruel. It felt bittersweet to dream of her, to be aware that the Ajak living in your head wasn’t the one you saw every day. Yet she seemed to be the only one able to bring you comfort in moments like these, when your feelings took over and you couldn’t think rationally.

You hesitated, shifting your weight on your feet. You didn’t want to bother her. You wiped the few tears that escaped your eyes. You took a step towards your room, then two towards Ajak’s. Exhaustion was making your eyelids heavy with each passing minute you stood in the hallway. It won the inner battle raging inside you, begging for rest you knew only she could give you.

You knocked on her door, waiting anxiously for an invitation to come in. When you got it, you tried taking a breath to calm your nerves, wiping the tears that kept falling from your eyes before entering the room. As expected, Ajak was in bed with a book in hand. Her features morphed into a concerned expression when she saw you and the silent question on the frown of her lips made you cry a bit harder.

You choked on a sob as you approached her. The covers lifted immediately, offering you a spot next to her, book long forgotten. The softness of her pillows was comforting, so was the arm she wrapped around your body, pulling you into an embrace. Ajak let you cry against her, gently rubbing your back as you did. The low reassurances she whispered into your ear managed to calm you down after a few moments. You didn’t move even after the tears stopped coming. You could feel the hot skin of her collarbone against your forehead. At some point, between cries, you had gripped her shirt and you couldn’t let go. When she brushed a hand on your hair, you almost murmured, “I love you.”

Ajak’s presence calmed you. You didn’t remember if you ever had an episode when you were together, but it wouldn’t surprise you if the answer was no. Your heartbeat eventually went back to a regular pace, and that was when the exhaustion caught up with you.

“Tell me what happened,” Ajak murmured so close to your ear, and you couldn’t refuse her anything anymore. She had checked your body for injuries the moment you got in her arms, so she knew the wounds must have been psychological.

“…Nothing is the same,” you said softly. The raspiness of your voice made it sound weird to your own ears.

It was all you could say about it, but Ajak understood. Her fingers played with the hair at the base of your neck. You didn’t notice the shiver running down your spine as you got impossibly closer to her body.

“Please, let me help you.”

You knew what she was referring to. It was the same option she had given Thena after her first Mahd Wy’ry episode. You both chose the same, refusing to trade the memories you had of the life you’ve lived all of you together. The thought of forgetting Ajak made you nauseous. You would rather have some of her than nothing at all.

You only gripped her shirt tighter. You could barely bear the weight of your own eyelids. “I cant.”

“I don’t want you to suffer.”

“I don’t suffer when I’m with you.”

The quiet admission froze the ministrations of her fingers, but you were too tired to notice. You were sure you wouldn’t remember this conversation tomorrow. Ajak exhaled softly, unable to keep herself from pressing a gentle kiss on your head, nose burying itself in your hair afterwards. Could you hear how her heart beat for you? Could you feel the love that glowed deep beneath the skin that touched yours, until it consumed every other cell in her body? Everything inside her ached to keep you safe from the torments of your own mind, even if that meant erasing the past millennia from your memories. Even if that meant erasing her from your memories. She would learn to live with it, because if it soothed your mind she would do anything.

Ajak knew you were asleep when she heard your even breathing, warm against her bare collarbones. She didn’t bother moving to turn off the light, closing her eyes in turn. Moments like these were the only times she allowed herself to feel her feelings for you. You hadn’t told her about mixing up past and present, but she had noticed. Your well-being came first. The last thing you needed was for her to add her own new feelings to the list of things confusing you, so she kept them for herself. She would be there for you as a leader if that was what you wanted. But during times like these, when you were settled so comfortably in her arms, Ajak selfishly let herself love you.

#ajak x you #ajak x reader #gn reader #marvel's eternals #ajak eternals #eternals x you #eternals x reader #thena eternals #ajak fic #eternals fic #mcu x reader #ajak imagine #eternals imagine

[haik-choo]

I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty! 

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits. 

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is. 

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while. 

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he? 

kuroo tetsuro. 

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday. 

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least. 

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either. 

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow. 

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working. 

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory? 

#haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hcs #kuroo #bokuto #kuroo x reader #bokuto x reader #kuroo fluff #bokuto fluff #kuroo smut #bokuto smut #kuroo headcanons #bokuto headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #kuroo angst #bokuto angst #anon #answered

[ltleflrt]

Hey Carrie! You talked a little the other day about writers' tendency to start a fic too early in the story, and how you see a lot of first scenes that could have been scrapped to improve the story. My question is if you have some tips to recognize while writing that first scene that you are starting too early in the story?

Hello friend!

That's a really good question, and I'll see if I can give an answer that makes sense. I am not a professional, and I'm not educated or trained in this stuff, it's just something that I recognize from years and years and years of voracious reading. And as with all writing advice, I encourage you to take what I'm going to say with a grain of salt and remember that no writing rule is a hard rule, only a guideline.

Also, my advice is going to be pertaining fanfiction, and specifically to AUs. Obviously a published book has an editor with a razor blade going through a manuscript for you, and the problems that bother me in fanfiction crop up in AUs more than Canonverse.

Oh, and every instance of "you" is general, not specific 😜

So I think the main problem that I see is that people are starting with an Info Dump. An Info Dump is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's completely necessary, but it is NOT where you want to start your story. If it absolutely has to be done, it's better to be somewhere in the middle or near the end. When it's something that your characters need to know.

That's an important bit: Do your characters need to know this?

And related to that: Does your audience need to know this for the story to make sense?

And very important follow up: If the answers to the above questions are yes, does the character/audience need to know this RIGHT NOW?

There's a lot of information about your story that YOU need to know. Heck, my notes files are full of sooooooo much stuff that I know about the characters and plot that never reaches the final product.

So when you're reading your first chapter (I say reading, not writing, because sometimes info dumping for your own benefit is good, and then you fix it before you share the story lol), ask yourself those two questions.

So for example:

In an AU where Dean is a tattoo artist, and it's his POV. The story starts with Dean driving to work, and when he gets there he's going to find out that the empty shop next door has been purchased and is going to be a yoga studio. He meets Castiel out front, up on a ladder trying to hang a hand painted sign, and some teens go running buy and knock into the ladder and Dean has to catch Castiel from falling. (Anyone who wants to adopt this idea is welcome to it btw, I would love to read this lol)

The mistake I often see in a first chapter like this is that as Dean is walking to work, there's a whole Info Dump about why he's a tattoo artist instead of a hunter. He'll be ambling along, thinking about his nice little business, and there's info about how his mom died in a fire, and his dad was a jerk, and Dean didn't go to college because he saved his money for Sammy's college fund, and Dean's only passion was art, and Bobby Singer introduced him to a tattoo shop owner who took Dean under his wing, etc.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: Why is Dean reflecting on his past? Does Castiel need to know this information in order to build a romance with Dean?

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Why does this information matter? If Dean's only reflecting on this because you want to make sure your audience knows where the timeline changed and this became an AU, then you're starting too early in your story. Dean doesn't need to know this, and honestly in a lot of cases the reader doesn't need to know this. This is information that should have been left in your notes file.

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: If this information is pertinent to the plot, like maybe there's some trauma there that Castiel might need to know about to develop their relationship, then you don't want to put it HERE, you want to put it in a conversation with Castiel LATER.

If I was writing this AU, I would just start with Dean sipping his coffee, he's kinda tired because reasons, he looks up to see an unusual commotion, and has to drop his coffee and sprint forward to catch Cas. If he's reflecting on anything in this scene, it's going to be whatever made him tired, or how good/bad the coffee is this morning. Since Cas is a new business owner, they can talk about the origins of Dean's business on their first date, because it'll be a relevant response to Castiel talking about the origins of his yoga studio.

And just in general, if Dean's origin story includes a lot of canon elements, like mom dying in a fire, dad being a deadbeat, Sammy being the adorable overachieving Stanford student.... try to hide that info for as long as you can so that the audience is actually curious about it by the time the info might pop up. It's the wild divergences that are more interesting earlier on.

Okay, and then I want to talk about my giant pet peeve for a starting chapter. It's a specific kind of info dump, that often includes the stuff from above, but then goes a step further.

My nemesis, The Daily Grind.

I haven't asked the authors, so I could be wrong about this, but I feel like most of the time when this type of chapter is included in a story it is because the author wants to show the reader that the character's life is boring and meaningless before the plot's inciting incident. I can absolutely see why that might be considered an important detail about the character, but keep in mind if it's boring and meaningless to the character, it's boring and meaningless to your audience.

You know how I said earlier that writing tips should never be hard and fast rules? Well this is in regards to that Show Don't Tell rule, and it's an example of TOO MUCH showing lol

It is possible to do a daily grind in an interesting way, but only if you include a Shake Up right away. And you have to look at the 3 questions a little bit differently.

So for example:

Castiel POV, and he works in an office. His daily routine is to always get up at the same time every day, he goes for his run, he grooms himself, he has his breakfast, he goes to work and talks to Kelly about how Jack's doing in kindergarten for a few minutes before going into his office. Adler comes in to be a prick, Castiel hates him for it, and then he does his reports, has lunch hiding in a corner of the lunch room so that his co-workers will leave him alone, he does more reporting, leaves an hour after his shift technically ends, goes home to a lonely apartment that maybe includes a pet who is the only being that shows him affection, has an unsatisfying dinner of leftover takeout while watching a mindless reality tv show, then he goes to bed.

Ugh.

BORING.

Which, yeah I get it, the point is that his life is boring. But now the story is too, and I've clicked the back button before I can see how exciting it's capable of getting.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: No. He knows. Poor thing definitely already knows.

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Yes, but...

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: Yes, but new question for ya:

Optional Question 4, why does this need to be separate from your plot's inciting incident? The answer to this 4th question is usually that it doesn't.

Chapter 2 of this type of beginning usually shows the shake up of Castiel's day. My advice is to start with the shakeup, and sprinkle in the details of what you would have put into chapter 1 to show the contrast. It's far more interesting to learn how boring Castiel's day is by starting with the shake up.

So, same scenario:

Castiel's alarm doesn't go off for some reason, OH NO HIS ROUTINE IS SHAKEN UP! You're explaining his routine while also stressing him the fuck out because he has to rush, or skip something that he normally needs to do. Action! Interesting! He gets to work late, and has to miss his conversation with Kelly about Jack because she's telling him that Adler's already in his office being a prick because Castiel isn't there waiting for him like he always is. Oh shit, he's pissing off his asshole boss! Conflict! He's so flustered by the shakeups that he misses something on his report, and he gets a call from that new marketing guy Dean Winchester who asks if they can have a meeting about it when Castiel normally takes his lunch. BAM! MEET CUTE OPPORTUNITY! While Castiel is getting all flustered by how pretty Dean is while they talk about TPS reports, he can reflect on how this is both better and worse than hiding from his co-workers in the corner of the lunch room. The rest of the day after that meeting he's thinking about how weird this day is, he still goes home an hour late, he talks to his pet about his weird day when he gets home, and maybe he still eats leftover takeout, but he's not paying attention to the reality tv show because holy shit he wants to count Dean's freckles.

In this example, you're Telling the audience about Castiel's normal routine instead of Showing them. But since it's during a plot heavy chapter, it works!

Lemme see if I can TL:DR this...

As you're reading, ask yourself who needs to know this information, why do they need to know this information, and why is it important for this information to be included early instead of later?

If the answer to any of those questions boils down to "this is backstory" instead of "this kicks off the plot", then you've started too early.

I hope this helps? I'm always nervous about giving writing advice because so much of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm just feeling around in the dark. And I definitely do not ever want to hurt an author's feelings, because this hobby is so fucking hard, and we're all fragile. Even authors who welcome con-crit with open arms will have a weak point that they're unaware of that might get poked wrong and cause a crack, ya know?

I hope anyone who gets this far who might see their own works reflected in my examples understands that I have a lot of respect for their ability to put their work out into the world, and I want them to keep doing it. We're here to have fun, okay? Okay. I love y'all 💜

#ltleramblings #writer's angst #also i think some of these problems can be solved with a prologue #but that's something i'm literally exploring in my current WIP #so I have no idea if I'm doing it right #and i might be breaking all of my own rules with it lol

[taechaos]

Web of Lies

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying.

warnings: angst, panic attack, dry humping, the TINIEST bit of fluff

word count: 4.3k

Obstacles are inevitable in relationships; there’s always something that must go wrong. They can come in the form of arguments, disagreements, actions, or people like Taehyung. One physical obstacle that always knows when Jungkook is with you.

A few days after the fight between the two close friends, Taehyung’s nose somewhat healed and Jungkook doesn’t shy away from you as frequently. What’s the point when the people he tried to hide you from found out about his relationship with you anyway? The only reason he doesn’t approach you every time he sees you is because: 1. He doesn’t enjoy being clingy; that would mean he likes being around you all the time which he refuses to admit. 2. You would probably get tired of him and stop loving him. 3. He kissed your friend who always sits next to you outside.

Now that he’s taking most of his opportunities to talk to you, and maybe kiss you, Taehyung is growing restless. Every time Jungkook is with you, so is Taehyung. Some. Fucking. How.

To name one of the busts: when Jungkook was kissing you in the university’s hallway two days ago, Taehyung popped in out of nowhere and shouted, “Get a room, you sluts!” It made for a good laugh between the students, especially when Jungkook ran after him out of the building. 

Another time is when Jungkook was watching you work in the yard and Taehyung joined you two to ask about that “one hot friend of yours”. You ended up telling him about Soyeon and Minnie while Jungkook glared at Taehyung that conveyed a clear message: Don’t. So, he didn’t. It didn’t have anything to do with getting elbowed when you weren’t looking.

It was because that would ruin the fun, and he has a sense of purpose while roaming the entire campus to make his fourth bust of the week. He’s searched the hot and empty spots, but he just can’t find the passionate couple anywhere. If he can’t keep disrupting their displays of affection, how will Jungkook get annoyed enough to spill the truth to you? You deserve that much, and if you still accept him, then Taehyung’s out of the picture.

Why can’t Jungkook see that?

For starters, one of the reasons is Jungkook is distracted and growing very irritated by the heavy stare he feels digging into his skin. Who the fuck is watching him? He thought it would be nice to keep you company in the main campus library by controlling your hand under the table over his clothed erection while you skim through your textbook for a light revision, but a pair of eyes behind a bookshelf won’t stop glaring into his soul through thick frames that he can’t see. 

He blows out a breath and screws his eyes shut. His jaw clenches and you immediately catch on, worriedly asking, “What’s wrong?”

“Someone’s fucking watching me and I can’t get off,” he grits. Your cheeks heat and grow crimson when you glance down at your occupied hand, palmed by his bigger one in a tight grip. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, “we can go to my dorm, if you’d like? Whatever you want.” In an act of comfort, you stupidly start caressing his length until he stands up. 

“Gotta confront the fucker.” 

Right when he raises his foot to take a step in the direction that his senses lead him to, Taehyung joins in on the mission. “Who are we confronting?” he asks casually with an arm over Soyeon’s shoulder, who is trying to suppress a grimace at the intervention. Jungkook glances at him and then your friend before sucking his teeth and rolling his eyes.

You grin brightly at the greeting and explain, “Someone's watching him. He’s going to find the stalker.”

“Might’ve been me, oops,” Taehyung raises his brows guiltily before slumping on a wooden chair adjacent to you, looking around the spacious area that makes him feel too loud. When he notices Soyeon still standing, he tells her, “come, sit,” and pats the seat next to him. She does so timidly. “Isn’t it so wonderful—”

“Why are you here?” Jungkook interrupts, but Taehyung continues, “—that we’re forming a friend group of our own? We’re all so familiar with each other.”

“Oh, Soyeon hasn’t met Jungkook yet.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you with a scrunch of his nose. “Sure about that?” Jungkook strides behind his chair and starts massaging his shoulders; a very harsh massage that has him holding back a wince. “Oh, Kook, that’s a bit rough. Tell me, is he like this in bed too?”

You gape at him in surprise, bashful because your lover doesn’t kiss and tell, and he doesn’t look too happy about it either.

“Tae…” Jungkook snarls.

“Well, is he, Soyeon?”

The library’s silence graces your table as everyone falls quiet, if you don’t count Taehyung’s groans at Jungkook’s bruising hold that is. Soyeon’s jaw drops and her eyes widen at the sudden switch in your gaze, searching for answers from her. “That’s not funny, Taehyung,” she breaks the silence with her blunt statement.

“Don’t mind him, baby, he has brain damage,” Jungkook spits and brings a hand up to Taehyung’s hair to yank it back. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” he whispers in his ear.

Your features begin to soften from its hard expression until Taehyung smiles wickedly at you. “Oh yeah, it wasn’t sex, was it? It was a tongue battle-” His voice cuts off the moment Jungkook starts choking him with his elbow, and his gags fall on deaf ears. Soyeon tries to push him off, but you’re just blank because Jungkook isn’t denying it; it was as if he was expecting it, trying to stop him all along. 

The sudden interest in your friend, the constant interruptions, the hits…

“Soyeon?” you call quietly with welling up tears. “Did you kiss him?”

Your best friend doesn’t lie, and apparently neither does Taehyung. Does Jungkook lie? You’re conflicted between living in bliss, ignoring the dying man in front of you because your boyfriend might have kissed Soyeon, and facing reality by asking the hard questions.

Her hands are still tugging on his shirt to save Taehyung, but her persistence weakens when she looks at you: guilty and… exposed? “I didn’t know it was him,” she confesses. It is indirect, and doesn’t reveal much except that she kissed the one man she wasn’t supposed to. 

“When?”

“The party,” Taehyung wheezes as he struggles against Jungkook’s arm, his nails drawing blood on his skin. His face is red from the lack of oxygen but he isn’t worried about dying.

“Oh, he put you up to this, didn’t he?” Jungkook speaks through clenched teeth to Soyeon. “They’re setting me up, and who the fuck is watching me?!” 

You stand up slowly and close your textbook with a soft thud, packing your materials so graciously. Your hands are shaking, but the tears blurring your vision don’t matter to you. Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. You sling your bag over your shoulder and trudge to the exit, counting your steps to calm down. You ignore Jungkook asking you where you’re going, Taehyung gasping for breath, and Soyeon telling him to leave you alone. It’s all muffled and you’re too sad to care.

It’s a case of he said she said, but your heart is siding with your friends with how painfully it pounds against your chest. Your trust in Jungkook couldn’t have been that fragile, could it? Why did it break with one sentence? 

Heavy footfalls follow you beyond the exit, but you’re too distracted by trying to move your legs steadily to notice. It isn’t important enough to distract you from someone calling your name though, or the light weight of a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hm?” you say without looking up, frozen in your steps.

“A-Are you okay?” A smooth voice asks.

“I’m a bit sad,” your voice cracks and wavers from holding back a meltdown, “hurt.” You want to recognize the blurred image of the man standing next to you, so you blink and a tear sheds from each eye. “I told you to never talk to me again, Jimin.” You feel overwhelmed, and yet the memory of the blackmail has little impact on your mess of emotions, but it doesn't help you feel better either.

“Sorry,” he breathes, “I still don’t understand why, but you can do the talking for me. Wh-what happened?”

“Why do you ask? So you can use that against me too?” you scoff through the lump in your throat. Confusion washes his soft features, so you add, “maybe another handjob for it?” You shrug off his hand and continue your walk of shame. 

“I-I’ve never used anything against you, what are you talking about?” He’s chasing after you and it’s a bit of help in swaying your thoughts in a different direction, and your emotions towards anger and disbelief instead.

“Does a video ring a bell? The one you threatened to leak if I didn’t touch your…” You groan to yourself and quicken your pace towards your dorm. Maybe you could mope comfortably in there without the annoying presence of an arch enemy, who is feeding you more lies than you’re capable of consuming in one day. 

“What? I never— Listen, I deleted that video the second I received it. Whoever told you that was lying, please!”

It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying. His love was a lie too, apparently. Maybe the Jungkook you know is just one big fat lie who can’t seem to tell you the truth in any moment you’ve been with him. How many times do you need to hear from others and yourself that Jungkook is lying?

“I know,” you whimper and run off.

Once Taehyung catches his breath after coughing for a minute straight with a fresh bruise blossoming on his neck, he interrupts the hushed argument between Jungkook and Soyeon by asking, “Where’d she go?”

“I don’t know, but you’re going straight to hell once I fucking kill you for good,” Jungkook fumes with flushed cheeks. 

“If you die by murder, you go straight to Heaven. How do you not know this?” His voice is low from the assault and his throat aches, but he still attempts to lighten the mood. 

“I swear to fucking God, Taehyung—” Jungkook stops his threat when he sees Soyeon sneakily walking away. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Air,” Soyeon vaguely answers.

“Bullshit.” Jungkook tries to go after her, wanting to be the first to find your dorm so she doesn't say more about that night, but Taehyung holds onto his wrist to stop him. 

“She needs time—”

“Fuck off.”

When Jungkook begins to walk off after yanking off his hand, Taehyung immediately searches around the room and takes out a pen from a cup on the reception desk before jumping Jungkook from behind just as he was about to leave. They struggle against each other and start rolling around, but Taehyung is driven by adrenaline as he grounds himself on top of him. He holds him down with his legs and uncaps the pen to start writing on his forehead.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Everyone in the library peeks at the commotion due to Jungkook’s loud yell, but neither of them pay mind as he tries to move away from the pen.

“See if she takes you seriously with dick written on your forehead,” Taehyung chuckles before sprinting off with him hot on his tail. Jungkook is stronger, but Taehyung is much faster as he loses him pretty quickly by hiding in an occupied lecture hall. The professor looks at him questioningly but he thinks fast and breathlessly asks the students, “Is Jeon Jungkook here? The headmaster is looking for him.” Some people search for him, but when no one makes a peep, he escapes the room and Jungkook’s wrath.

Now to go to your dorm before Jungkook scrubs off the ink…

“I didn’t know his name,” Soyeon murmurs while fidgeting with her fingers. When she came in the room, you were muffling your sobs with your pillow and all she saw was your jerking shoulders. She tried to comfort you, to hug you, but you weren’t exactly being friendly, and the setting is pretty much the same except she’s sitting on your bed while you still cry. “I asked people what he looked like, but it was just a description of every guy in the room. He wasn’t around for them to point at, and so I thought maybe he didn’t come. Then this guy kisses me on this couch, feels guilty about it, and tells me his name. I-I didn’t know it was Jungkook. He left for you anyway…”

Her attempt at consolation is fruitless because it only makes you cry harder. She rubs your back soothingly before standing up. “I’ll check up on you later. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” You nod against your stained pillow. 

The moment she opens the door, Taehyung’s fist misses her head by an inch. “Oops,” he says before gently pushing her aside by her shoulder and entering. His eyes fall on your fetal position first thing and he pouts at you. “Aw, baby—”

“She doesn’t want to talk right now.”

“I’m good company,” he dismisses her with a flick of his wrist, “you can go.”

She rolls her eyes before shutting the door, and it’s only you and him now. Your hiccups fill the room as he sadly watches you, a quiet sigh leaving his mouth. “I tried to tell you. Well, I tried to get him to tell you.”

“Y-You said,” you snivel against the sheet, “th-that he was whipped for me.”

I said that to get you to open up. Even in his head it sounds cruel, so he rethinks his response with a grimace. “Jungkook told me he liked you.” Maybe shifting the blame wasn’t exactly much better, especially since he told him that after the claim, but you have enough on your plate.

“H-He told me he loved me,” you hiccup, releasing your death grip on the poor pillow. It’s a mask rather than a silencer now. Taehyung widens his eyes to himself and purses his lips. He takes Soyeon’s former seat and turns you on your back. His heart sinks a little when he sees your face: red nose, heavy lids, bloodshot eyes and quivering lips with messy hair. You look really pretty to him right now. “He lies so much. H-He even made me give Jimin a handjob.”

“Made you?” he repeats with his thumb drawing circular patterns on your collarbone. 

You nod. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk about it. It was horrible.”

His brows furrow at your tone. “That’s so fucked up... Man, you need to avoid him.”

“Jimin?”

“Jungkook. That’s too twisted, even for him. You’re an angel…” his palm reaches for your cheek and his thumb continues its soothing motions. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thank you,” you mouth and fresh tears brim as you try to swallow. It feels like you’re sick all over again, except there’s no misunderstanding to clear this time. He wipes a stray teardrop and smiles down at you; it’s a relaxing gesture. You close your eyes and hold onto his wrist, snuggling into his warm hand.

“I sound really cheesy, don’t I?” he chuckles. “Can’t lie, wish I had someone call me an angel after I caught my ex cheating on me.”

An involuntary giggle erupts from your mouth at his joke. “You’re an angel, Taehyung. An angel in disguise.” You peek at him before fluttering your eyes shut again. A pursed smile graces his lips, and he’s convinced he isn’t interested in you romantically, that it was just an invisible force drawing him closer to you, that he wasn’t the one aiming for your lips until a pound on the door resounds in the room.

You flinch away from his hand and he pulls back instantly; both of your heads shoot to the source of the noise. 

“Open up!” Jungkook yells and continues fisting the door. “Open the fucking door!” Taehyung holds a finger against his lips, signalling you to stay silent until he leaves. “I want to talk. Open the door… please.” Neither of you say anything.

“Fine,” he agrees, “don’t talk. I’ll talk, but at least give me a sign that you’re here.” Before Taehyung can stop you, you rush to the door and knock once. You hear him slide down the door, presumably leaning his back against it and sitting on the floor. “Okay. I’m sor— They were lying—” you slam your fist against the door in denial. “Okay! But they weren’t telling the whole truth back there. I was um… on drugs. I was really fucking high, okay?”

“Yet your high-self still managed to yell at me! Clearly you weren’t high out of your mind,” you snap menacingly. He flinches at your sudden shut-down; he’s never heard you yell at him before, nor has he ever been the victim of your anger. It makes his heart drop.

“That was like, three hours after I got high! I was practically sober, plus, you weren’t talking to me that day!”

“I had lost my voice! I didn’t want you to get sick—"

“I DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW THAT!” 

He gulps at your silence and inhales a deep breath to calm down. He hears you sniffle on the other side. “I-I didn’t know that. You wouldn’t kiss me, wouldn’t talk to me, and I didn’t know why. I thought you stopped loving me and… that really upset me.” He sighs to himself because he’s never opened up so honestly and it’s difficult, but he doesn’t exactly have a choice. It just feels so embarrassing.

Taehyung opens the window of your dorm and climbs out. You don’t see or hear it happen, too invested in your argument to even remember his existence. “Do you remember what I told you the night we did it for the first time?”

His face scrunches as he tries to replay the events beside the sex. The corner of his lip tugs upwards when he recalls you calling him a slut, but he’s still clueless as to why you’re bringing it up. You don’t leave him in the dark for long. “I told you I wouldn’t forgive you a second time.” He gnaws on his lip as his palms feel clammy with nervous sweat. 

“W-We weren’t dating then,” he tries to justify. “I didn’t need forgiveness then. You’re so unfair!” He stands up and knocks with his fist again. “Let’s talk it out face to face, I’ll explain everything. You’re putting me at a disadvantage! Don’t you want clarity? Don’t you want this to work out?!” He starts chanting your name when you don’t answer. “I will break down this fucking door if you don’t open it,” he doesn’t sound nearly as intimidating as he usually does when threatening; he sounds more like he’s a second away from breaking down himself. “No, no… please. I-I’ll kiss another girl if you break up with me! You don’t want that, right? So just open the door.” 

His tough façade crumbles the longer you ignore him, and he can’t believe the heavy weight he feels all over his body wants to leave in the form of tears. It stings in his eyes but he doesn’t dare let them fall. “You’re so fucking cruel!” He twists the door handle violently; desperately. A dry sob escapes him as he kicks the door one last time. “Oh God, oh God…” he tries to breathe but it doesn’t enter his lungs. It’s like being choked with a noose as he gasps and a tear runs down his cheek. His wheezes become so loud that you start hearing them and grow concerned.

You consider the possibility that it’s one of his tactics, trying to manipulate you, but you open the door anyway. It’s a slight crack and you barely get a look at him before he pushes it open completely and forces his way in. He sits on your bed and his shoulders hunch, breaths still shallow. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t like her, never did, I only— I was mad, and I couldn’t go through with it, and I’ve never shown you affection b-because I’ve only ever received it from you—” you hush his rambling with a hug, but he continues with his head against your stomach anyway, “I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m a fucking mess and I understand why you wouldn’t want to be with me, but please don’t leave me. I’ll do my homework, I’ll stop being mean, I won’t even talk if you don’t want me to, but please don’t stop talking to me.”

“Jungkook…” you trail in shock. “I’m here. Take a deep breath.” When he tries, it’s so shaky that it makes you tear up for the umpteenth time. You’re a mess with him. “In and out, love, in and out.” You would do it with him like an instructor, but it’s not possible when he’s squeezing your waist so tightly. It takes a few minutes for him to relax his grip and he looks up at you pitifully. “It’s okay,” you assure and pet his hair, “you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most,” he exhales. “I mean… I realized that night, that I only want to be with…”

“I get it,” you whisper to comfort him, knowing he has struggles with expressing himself, but he doesn’t stop. He wants to get it off his chest, and he quietly tells you, “I kissed another girl when I wanted to make you jealous, and then another to forget. I don’t want to do that, I mean I only want to kiss… you.”

You initiate it first by leaning down to peck his lips, and you don’t pull away too far. You peck him again, and then start kissing him. He’s never been this slow with you before, but the panic attack must have drained him. It’s the way that he doesn’t immediately turn it heated with the intent of taking it to the third base that warms your heart. He’s hesitant and taking his time, mindful of your reactions because you’re in control for once. You’re aware of how vulnerable he is being with you, and he conveys that with the gentle press of his lips. 

He whimpers into the kiss, and it’s so quiet and mournful that you lean back but he chases after you. He doesn’t want to stop like you’d assumed, so you place your knees on either side of him and hover over his thighs. Even his hands are hesitant as he lightly sits you down on his lap by pulling your waist. You smile against him and with his submission, you swipe your tongue across his lip. He opens for you. You roll your tongue around his, and he eventually begins to suck on yours. There’s a pit in your stomach that confuses you; is it arousal? Flattery? You feel so special because you know he hasn’t been like this with anyone else; so powerless and passive.

It’s passionate. You inch your body a little closer to him and he grunts when you brush against his crotch before settling down. This isn’t about sexual needs, and you don’t treat it as such but your body has a mind of its own with its constant shuffling that turns him on. He doesn’t want to feel that way, but his hips have a subtle way of thrusting beneath you. His hums rumble and you kiss him harder, losing all your senses except for the warmth of his skin. You don’t notice him controlling the movement of your hips because he’s taking it slow, and you don’t need to know why he’s quietly moaning into you.

At least no one’s watching him now. 

You pull back in surprise when he groans loudly, and you know he’s back to himself as his actions grow rough. You’re practically jumping when he grinds on you with his spit all over your mouth because of his explorative tongue. From past experience, you’ve figured out that Jungkook is more honest when he’s in the heat of the moment, so you inquire against his lips, “Why did you lie to me about Jimin?”

“That fucking freak,” he growls, “I needed a reason to get you to hate him. He didn’t stop you when it happened, did he?” 

Still manipulative. “Will you do the same with Taehyung?”

“No, I,” his thrusts slow down, “I’m gonna, err…” He looks at you for help.

“You’re gonna be a good boy and talk things out with him, right?”

“Right,” he breathes, “talk.” He slams his lips against yours again, and it’s not long before he sighs at his climax with your cooperation. There’s a small patch growing on his pants through his underwear, and he cusses when he notices it. He pecks you one last time before hugging you and laying on the bed, cuddling you like a blanket. “Do you forgive me?” 

You rest your head on his chest and feel his pulse to contemplate. He brings a hand up to your hair and starts running his fingers through it, unbothered by your lack of answer. “I’ll make it up to you,” he says. “Do you…” he clears his throat, “do you maybe want to have dinner with me?”

“Like a date?” you tease with a grin.

“Yes.”

“There’s my answer,” you lift your head to wink up at him. “But if you test me again, I’ll break your heart just as you did mine. Don’t worry though,” you whisper, “I’ll never leave you.”

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