Steve and Eddie don’t get together for awhile—in fact it takes them longer than most people expect. It’s not filled with miscommunication and longing though. Instead it’s a slow build to falling in love.
Steve and Eddie do grow close after the spring break from hell. In fact, they would come to consider each other best friends (second only to Robin, as under the friendship agreement she made Eddie sign). But they fall into an easy sort of friendship, finding more things in common than just the kids eventually. They share a love of weird, eclectic movies, cars, weird food recipes, and even books. They teach each other about the stuff neither one would ever dream to be interested in.
Eddie learns about sports intensely. To the point, he joins a softball league with Steve and Robin (she is only team manager, there to look at the pretty girls who signed up).
Steve learns all about music. To the point he wants to learn an instrument. He wants to learn guitar at first, wanting to share Eddie’s love for it but finds it’s not for him. Instead, he takes up the drums, much to Robins's reluctance.
It’s simple between them, despite their history (both upside down and non-upside down alike). It’s not something Steve has with anyone else, seeing as most of his friendships involve a complexity that he can’t even understand himself.
It goes on for years, supporting each other through nightmares, heartbreak, grief (Eddie), and a sexuality crisis (Steve). They get tattoos together, take odd classes at the rec center together, and eventually share an apartment together with Robin in Chicago.
Robin tries to convince Steve for years there is something between him and Eddie. But Steve denies it, and he really means it.
Eventually life changes, their friendship stays strong but things are bound to take new shape.
Steve moves out to live with his boyfriend of a year. Eddie helps him, even cooks dinner for the two of them in their new apartment. They’re all friends, they hangout all the time.
Months pass, things seem okay, fine. Then, a year and change passea. Things are a little sour. Steve and Eddie’s friendship stays strong, but Steve seems to have problems with his boyfriend. Eddie listens because he cares; he loves Steve, and Steve loves him. They’re best friends; they would do anything for each other.
Including telling your best friend that maybe this guy isn’t good for him.
Steve doesn’t react poorly, just small. He shrinks in on himself. Like he knows Eddie’s right but doesn’t want to agree. Instead, Steve smiles sadly and moves on.
But Eddie doesn’t hear from Steve for a month.
It drives him insane; they haven’t gone that long without talking since Eddie was in a temporary coma. He’s worried he might have cost himself a best friend. Robin had moved in with her girlfriend a month before his talk with Steve, so Eddie was left to his own devices in his new one-bedroom apartment. Spiraling about Steve.
Robin said he was fine, and Eddie should believe her but he can’t help but worry.
He almost cracked and went to Steve’s apartment, keys in his hands ready to storm the castle.
Except….
When Eddie throws his apartment door open, there’s Steve, hand raised, ready to knock.
He looks exhausted, with two bags under his eyes and one bag in his hand.
“Hi.” Is all he managed to croak out before falling into Eddie’s arms, which had been open and ready for the sweet boy.
After the crying had calmed down and they had moved to the couch, Steve explained everything.
How Eddie had been right, Steve and his boyfriend weren’t good for each other. How he had been isolated from everyone except Eddie and Robin. How the last month, the fighting had only escalated. How things had slipped from just arguments to unforgivable words and actions.
How Steve was worried that everyone would choose his boyfriend instead of him.
Eddie rushed to ease his worries and offered to beat the guy up. It made Steve laugh.
Steve tells him he doesn’t have anywhere to go, but he’ll get out of his hair. Maybe go to Robin’s.
Eddie insisted Steve stayed and wouldn’t take no for an answer.
That’s when things start to slowly change.
Steve promises to look for a new place right away, Eddie says it’s no rush.
The first night, Steve tries to sleep on the couch, but Eddie pushes him to the bedroom, insisting they can share. It’s not like they haven’t before; it’s nothing new.
Except it is.
Suddenly, the days pass, and Eddie can’t fall asleep unless Steve is beside him. And Steve can’t stay asleep if Eddie isn’t there.
It starts off on respectful sides, but pushes into tangled limbs in the middle of the night, to finally just snuggling into each other's arms even before they fall asleep.
Everything else is the same….yet somehow different.
It’s like every little thing they do together brings a new kind of joy. Even boring things like doing the dishes or laundry seem so much better with Steve around.
They start to know each other’s habits, even more so than before, with how little space there is now in the apartment. Steve knows the exact place where Eddie always forgets his keys and the way he stretches his spine when he’s tired versus the way he does when he’s bored.
They fall into a lovely pattern of warmth and a type of love they can’t quite place.
They both don’t talk about it, but Steve ponders on it often. Why it feels so different now? After all these years? It hits him one day that it isn’t because he loves Eddie any less or more than he did a few years ago. No, it’s because they both have grown, and changed from who they used to be.
And so has the love between them.
Steve and Eddie, at 19 and 20, could never have the love they have now for each other, for the type of people they were then. Their love was platonic, wholesome, and what they needed then. Steve could not love the kind of man Eddie was then, and vice versa.
Now though, grown and changed but somehow still the same, their love was something new and bright.
Steve only smiled at the realization, not in any rush to move forward. Just enjoying his time with his Eddie.
Eventually, though, Steve stops looking for a new place, and Eddie never asks him to leave. Everyone refers to the apartment as theirs and not just Eddie’s. Robin stops making sly comments and instead smiles happily, almost fondly, at them when they gravitate toward each other. Eddie asks for Steve’s advice on how to deal with the landlord. Steve opens the mail regardless of whose name is on the front. Months pass, and suddenly, Steve is turning 28, and Eddie has a cupcake with a singular candle on it.
“Make a wish, sweetheart.” Eddie says, the soft glow of the flame lighting up his face.
Steve smiles softly at him and leans in. It’s not a risk, in the end, to kiss Eddie. It should be nerve-wracking and scary to change their friendship. But it’s not—it’s easy.
Their lips are soft as they lightly kiss. Steve whispers against Eddie’s mouth, “Don’t want a wish. I have everything I need.”
Eddie huffs a laugh across Steve’s lips. He says nothing—he doesn’t need to. Instead, Eddie leans in again, capturing Steve’s mouth once more.
676 notes
·
View notes
can’t force myself to start a new fic, so of course i reread “call me by my name” again. it’s wasn’t until i finished just lovers that i realized it was the same author. but i want to provide my own thoughts on this fic.
to preface, i use they/she/he (no particular hierarchy to which are used more)
1. i love that a deadname is never used. ever.
2. regulus is not treated as a girl pretending to be a guy or a girl wanting to be a guy. he’s just a guy that i keep forgetting is pre transition in everything. the author treats him as regulus, the guy we’ve always known and loved; regulus who is trans and isn’t treated as a woman at all.
3. genderqueer sirius black please marry me. or let me be you. i don’t know if i want to be him or be with him. genuinely. he’s so feminine in a masculine way and oh my GOD i want that. gender envy in the finest aspect. and as a gender-fluid person, i felt so comforted and seen when sirius discussed his experience.
(i’m continuing to use he/him for sirius because he talked about in the fic how he doesn’t need others to use different pronouns and overall “doesn’t give a toss” what people use for him, because he simply doesn’t care. which is how it is for myself about 50% of the time.
and, regulus continues to use he/him for sirius, and if the author wanted us to use more pronouns for sirius, i think they would have snuck she or they in there.)
4. regulus, a grown adult in this fic uses the words trans MAN for himself. he’s a trans man. he doesn’t describe himself as a trans boy or a trans guy. he’s a grown adult who describes himself as a trans MAN and that’s extremely important to me. he’s a man. not a guy or a boy; but a man like all the other men around him.
5. the part i most wanted to talk about:
i have never in my life read smut that has actually got me off. it might be the demisexual in me, but smut doesn’t do shit for me. i don’t choose to read it ever. but in this fic, i read a sex scene so realistic and tangible that i determined all smut fics need to read this one first to do it right.
the sex was so gender affirming for both regulus and myself. and i think that’s why it did it for me. regulus got off on james literally saying his fucking chosen name, and being considered a man or a dude during sex. like, that shit was so personal.
james literally said that regulus never got off like that before. like, ever. regulus clearly enjoyed that the most he’s ever enjoyed it. just from the way james is so kind to him and adapting about his gender.
i want someone to get me off like that with gender affirming sex
6. james is hot. sirius is hot.
thank you
86 notes
·
View notes