#just like he was when his mom died. left all alone again after forming the first meaningful bonds hes had in over a decade probably | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

w1ldthoughts · 6 months

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Hollywood Horror Nights

Synopsis: Jack and Zoey go public.

Series Masterlist

“Jack! He’s bullying me again.” Zoey yells out.

Jack sighs with a chuckle, shaking his head and standing up to go find the source of the problem. “Leave my baby alone DeKaylin.”

DK laughs, bringing his arm down so that she can snatch her phone out of his hands. “It’s gonna be a long week for you lil’ bro.” He teases, earning a flick to the arm from the woman next to him.

“I’m telling Mani to dump you after bye week. You’re lucky I’m a lady or I would kick you right now.”

Her best friend comes down the stairs just in time. “Children please stop fighting before I put you both in timeout. We should honestly start getting ready and head out.”

“Urban just texted that he’s here so I’m gonna let him in.” DK says, walking to the door.

“Are you sure you’re ready to do this? Because once we do, there’s no going back.” Jack tells her, sitting on the bed messing with his fingers, a nervous habit.

“Yes I’m sure, we’ve been together for a while and we can’t hide forever. I mean it’s not like we’re doing a magazine cover we’re simply going to a haunted house. Your team is aware and I’m ready…are you?”

He stands up to close the distance between them and takes up both of her hands in his, placing a kiss on each one. “Just wanna make sure you’re good. That’s all I care about.” Jack looks up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. “I guess we’re doing this. You’re stuck with me forreal after tonight.”

“Um, how do you know that wasn’t my plan all along? Can we go now because I’m ready.”

The man stops her in her tracks before she can open the door. “You’re gonna protect me if I get scared right?” He jokes, a pout forming on his lips just begging her to kiss him, until she gives in.

“Yes pookie, I’ll hold your hand the entire time.”

She’d been around paparazzi before, out to dinner with Normani and some of their friends but this obviously felt different. This was a huge step and making their relationship public would open doors to criticism, a lack of privacy and a whole new world that she wouldn’t know how to navigate until she was in the thick of it.

But on her left was the man that she’d walk with through fires, floods and everything in between. She knew they’d be okay. And if nothing else she had Urban who did say he wasn’t afraid to bite someone in public.

Right before they got inside, they met up with Darrell, DK’s teammate who had tried to get with Zoey many times before but it just didn’t work out.

“Big Z, it’s good to see you.” The large man pulls her in for a warm hug. “This is my girl Sophie.” He gestures toward the woman next to him who gives her a shy smile.

“It’s nice to meet you Sophie, this is my boyfriend Jack.”

Darrell sticks a hand out to dap him up and it takes a second for Jack to respond. “Nice to meet you bro.” The rapper mutters out, keeping the greeting short before turning his attention back to Zoey. “We should probably head inside babe. Hope y’all enjoy your night.”

“What the hell was that?” She laughs one they’re far enough away. “Please don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

“No I’m not jealous of that man. I mean for God’s sake Zo his hair is pink. And ‘Big Z?’ It’s corny.” Jack rolls his eyes so hard it almost gives him a headache.

She stops walking to face him. “Okay first of all his hair is pink in honor of his mom who died from breast cancer and it’s October, breast cancer awareness month. So there’s that.” Zoey giggles as she watches his face fall. “Yeah, quit being rude. And second, there’s no one in this entire universe that I want more than you. You gotta trust that.”

“I do trust you…Big Z.” He snickers.

“Oh?” Zoey tilts her head to the side with a scoff. “I thought the nickname was corny.”

“Only cause it came outta his mouth. But when I say it? I don’t know, it’s got a different ring to it.”

She doesn’t say another word, simply dragging him by the arm to catch up with the group.

The haunted houses were scary sure, she almost peed herself during The Exorcist: Believer walkthrough. But what really gave her chills was hearing people whispering about them and not being so sneaky at taking pictures.

“You good?” Urban asked her, looking over the menu. They had all stopped to grab food at the Plaza de Los Muertos section of the park. He wrapped his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. “You get used to it you know. The whispering and the ‘hidden’ cameras.”

“How did you know that was what I—”

“Because it’s how I felt.” He chuckles, looking over to ask his date what she wants to order. “You know I used to have all his attention before you came along. Now he thinks you shit rainbows and paint the stars in the sky. It’s gross.”

Zoey pats him on the back and orders three midnight margaritas. “He will always be yours, I just borrow him sometimes. Thank you for letting me do that by the way.”

“Thank you for making him the happiest I’ve ever seen. And I know he’d kill somebody for you if this gets to be too much but you have me too. You’re my family now Zo, I’ll take care of you no matter what, I hope you know that.”

“I do. Thank you Urby. I love you.” She whispers so she doesn’t cry. It brought her a sense of comfort to see his eyes were also getting watery.

“Love you too, forreal.” He pulls her in for a hug, swaying back and forth, immediately putting her at ease. With all of these amazing people by her side, there was nothing to be afraid of.

Jack watched the entire exchange from against the wall after leaving the restroom, catching the lump in his throat before the tears had the chance to form. Two of his favorite people in the world had each other’s backs and he felt even better knowing that Zoey felt comfortable confiding in Urban in case he wasn’t there. He had already spent the last 15 minutes stressing himself out over the future guilt of not being able to be there for her because of his demanding schedule. But to know that she felt comfortable confiding in Urban brought him peace in the midst of what was sure to be a season of chaos.

“I’m going to be right behind you the whole time okay? On your right. Jack will obviously be cutting off your hand circulation on your left. And DK will be his large intimidating self next to me.” Mani reassures her friend, giving her a nod.

Zoey took a deep breath and held Jack’s hand, using it as her anchor. Lights flashed more than she’d ever seen in her life, there were questions being hurled at them left and right.

Jack is this your girlfriend?

What’s her name?

How long have you two been dating?

Did Normani set you to up? Was it DK?

When is your new album coming out?

Is she going to be used as inspiration?

The couple kept their heads down and mouths closed right behind Mike and the rest of Jack’s security team with Mani, DK, Urban and his girlfriend right behind them. As soon as they were in the safe space of the car, they could breathe. It was done, she just became public with an A-list rapper.

At their Airbnb the next morning, Jack scrolled through his phone to assess the situation. “Jack Harlow and ‘mystery girl’ enjoy a night out with friends at Hollywood Horror Nights. This outing has left fans wondering how long the internet’s boyfriend has been off the market.”

“You bitches just broke the internet.” Urban says, shaking his head. “This is gonna be fun.”

Taglist:

@jackharloww

@vanwritesfan-fiction

@middlechild404

@harlowcomehome

@itsyagirljaz

@iknowdatsrightbih

@earthtoharlow

@heavyhitterheaux

@hoodharlow

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x oc #jack x zoey #jack harlow fanfic #jackman thomas harlow

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ornii · 1 year

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hii don’t want to overwhelm you but if your free i was thinking my bitter half? i’m VERY invested.

My Better Bitter Half, Part 5

“Visions? Past or present?”

(Y/n) stood across his sister that night, both their arms folded against each other as they stand on the balcony.

“Sometimes both, I can’t particularly comprehend what these mean, besides bad omens.” Wednesday said, and (Y/n) furrows his eyebrows.

“These visions, they’re brought upon by anything specific?”

“No, the slightest touch brings these visions upon me.” Wednesday replies, you lean forward a bit, and gently poke her forhead, she stares daggers at you. Almost like a snake ready to strike.

“Nothing?” You ask.

“…No.” She replies almost in a growl from your poking.

“I was just checking.” You protest, your attitude quickly softens and you look at her.

“But seriously, if these visions cause you any pain or discomfort, I’ll do what I can to alleviate them.” You say, Wednesdays eyes darted from down to up at yours, a bit uncomfortable by your kindness.

“..Thank you, (Y/n).” She responds and you smile, eventually you lean against the balcony and ponder.

“The man who died in that car crash this morning, you knew because of your vision.” You say and Wednesday nods.

“I foresaw his demise. It was quite thrilling.” She says, before he can ask another question, Enid enters the room and the twins are interrupted by her spotting them and approaching, and she first notices the cello

“How the hell did you get that oversized violin out the window?” She says.

“It’s a Cello you—“ Wednesday says before she can insult Enid properly, (Y/n) interrupts, smiling a bit more seeing her.

“She had a pair of extra hands, or three.” You say, as thing crawls up your shoulder.

“Whoa. Where's the rest of him?” She asks, peering around.

“It's one of the great Addams family mysteries.” You say, “But, I should get going, let the new roommates get to know each other.” You step past your sister to leave but she quickly gets back in your way.

“Do Not leave me with her.” She says, you only smoke and gently pat her head.

“Sorry Mi Hermana, I have a life outside of you.” You step past and leave with thing, letting Wednesday awkwardly there with Enid, the two watch the night sky and the howling of wolves distract them, a conversation piece.

“Why aren't you wolfing out?” Wednesdays asks.

“Because I can't.” Enid said, and shows her nails which extend. “It's all I got. My mom says some wolves are late bloomers, but I've been to the best Lycanologist. I had to fly to Milwaukee, would you believe it? Yeah, she says there's a chance I may never... you know.” Enid said sadly, almost on the verge of tears.

“What happens then?”

“I'd become a lone wolf.”

“Sounds perfect.” Wednesdays says, much to the anger of Enid.

“Are you kidding me? My life would be officially over. I'd be kicked out of my family pack with no prospect of finding a mate!”

“I'm failing to see the problem here.”

“I could die alone.”

“We all die alone, Enid.”

“You really suck at this. Cheering people up.” Enid said, tears forming in her eyes.

“Why are you crying?” Wednesday asks..

“Because I'm upset! Haven't you ever cried, or are you above that too?” Enid sharply says, Wednesday sees the emotional turmoil Enid is in and decides to try and be helpful.

“It was the week after Halloween. I was six years old. I took my pet scorpion, Nero, out for his afternoon stroll, and we were ambushed. They wondered what kind of freak would have a scorpion for a pet. Two of them held me down and made me watch...while the others ran Nero over until...It was snowing when I buried what was left of him. I cried my little black heart out. But tears don't fix anything.

So I vowed to never do it again.” Wednesday says, Enid wipes a tear from her face.

“What did (Y/n) do?” She asks.

“He burned all of their houses down…” Wednesday responds, “As annoying, egotistical and overbearing as he is, he truly does care for me.” She said, and Enid laughs a bit.

“He really does love you, he talked a lot about you when he first came here. We had weird siblings so we bonded over it.” Enid says,Your secret's safe with me. Still think you're weird as sh¡t, though.”

“The feeling is incredibly mutual…How would you like your single room back? You just need to show me how to use your computer.”

Inside (Y/n)’s dorm, he was finishing up reading a script for a play. Before his roommate, Ajax enters.

“Duuuuuuude.” He says though his high as a kite mentality. You close the script and then turn your attention towards him.

“Yes?” You ask.

“You gotta try these brownies.”

“And melt my brain cells? No thank you.” You reply, Ajax shrugs and eats one. He sits on his bed and begins to let his mouth wander.

“So… I was hanging with Enid right?”

“Yup.” You say coldly. While your feelings for Enid were, strong, intense and you wish you could confess to the heavens your adoration, but, it’s hard. And Ajax isn’t making it any easier.

“Like she’s great and all, like super cute but how do I know she’s like, the one?” He asks you, gripping the script harder you take a deep breath and force a smile.

“Ajax, as riveting at this conversation is, I think you should have it with Enid.”

“I would but she’s away.”

“…Away where?” You ask, fearing Wednesday has “Taken care” of Enid.

“To the festival at Jericho, she went with your sister.” Ajax said. For a moment you look relieved, until you realize the open area.

“… Shit.” You quickly stand up and rush to your coat. Quickly putting it on, Ajax turns to face you, oblivious to what’s going on.

“Where are you going?” He asks.

“Jericho, I’ll catch a shuttle..” you say and storm off to find your sister before she goes off the grid.

Getting shuttled to the carnival, you step out of the vehicle and quickly scan the area. You begin to walk though lines and crowds searching, it’s easy as Wednesday, much like you stood out too much in a place full of color. Your eyes quickly scan and spot the black and white raven, who’s following Rowan into the forest. You angrily follow, pushing past the gloomy forest and eventually reach them, before you can yell, you watch Wednesday be levitated into the air. Rowan’s eyes focus so, insanely toward her.

“You're the one who's in danger.” He said.

“What are you doing?” Wednesday was able to speak though her confinement.

“Saving everyone from you. I have to kill you. Girl in the picture. That's you.”

“You want to kill me because of some picture?”

“My mother drew that picture 25 years ago when she was a student at Nevermore. She was a powerful Seer. Told me about it before she died.”

“Rowan, put her down!” You yell, he turns his attention to you running at him full force. Rowan flexed his other hand, sending you flying back into a tree, your head hits and ricochets like a ball and you hit the ground. Hard unconscious.

“No! My mother said it was my destiny to stop these two if they ever came to Nevermore, because they will destroy the school and everyone in it.” Rowan says, he prepares to kill Wednesday, (Y/n) opens his eyes and sits up, he stands and walks towards Rowan, as the power of the other Addams twin is shown. He turns around as he sees his body, lying on the ground. He turns back and walks to Rowan. Ready to suffocate Wednesday, Rowan grins, until his arm begins to shake violently. Something is stopping him, his entire body begins to convulse and stiffen up, Wednesday falls and catches her breath. She looks at Rowan, and he smirks.

“Are you alright?” “Rowan” asks her, Wednesday stands up.

“Why are you concerned for my health? You were just trying to kill me.”

“No, Rowan was, your dear brother saved you, you’re welcome.” Rowan says, as Wednesday comes to the realization who he is.

“(Y/n)”

“Guilty as Charged, now care to explain to me why you’re trying to escape now—“ you ask, suddenly you turn left to get tackled out of Rowan’s body. You hit the Spiritual ground as you hear flesh being torn, screams and echoes of pain rip though the air. After crawling back to your body you lie down, and awaken once more. You’re immediately greeted by your sister, making sure you’re you.

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)?” She said, the concern in her voice was so, genuine. You sat up, holding your back, it seems slamming into that tree did more damage than you thought.

“Im here.” You say, a slight look of relief washes over her. You and Wednesdays look forward to see Rowan’s corpse, mangled and trashed with blood.

“Wednesday, what happened?” You ask, and she shows you this, page from a book. Of a witch, a pair, a Wizard and Witch together, seemingly facing an ongoing evil from what hellish land.

“…Your room.” You say, and Wednesday reluctantly agrees. The twins return back to Wednesdays dorm to analyze what information they have, the picture, and the arrest record of Their father, Gomez addams.

Suddenly, the Crystal Ball begins to cloud up, and Gomez and Morticia appear:

“Hello, my little black clouds, So tell us darling, how was your first week?” Gomez asks.

“Let's see. I narrowly avoided death twice, discovered that my father may be a murderer, learned that I could potentially destroy the school, and was mysteriously saved by a homicidal monster.” Wednesday thinks.

“As much as it pains me to admit, you were right, Mother. I think I'm going to love it here.” She says, and turns to you.

“So. No more plans to run away?”

“No brother, it seems we were destined to destroy this school… and I’d like to find out why.”

“Hm… well if it keeps you here, fine by me, let’s see what horrors this school has hidden.”

#netflix #male reader #reader insert #wedensday x you #wednesday #wednesday addams x male reader #platonic relationship #siblings #twins #the addams family

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elysia-nsimp · 6 months

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OC introduction: Ignacio Hayes (Twisted Wonderland)

Basics

Ignacio Hayes (Igni for short, he/him) is an Ignihyde student based on Pain and Panic from Disney’s Hercules. He’s a third year, and is 18 years old. Igni is pansexual and polyamorous.

Igni is a… generally unidentified species of shapeshifting alien, but he’s lived on Earth his whole life—it’s his parents who came from another planet. He has two main forms—the one you see in the drawings of him, and a small squishy pile of orange jello with tentacles and organs. He prefers his more humanoid form, since it’s more durable.

Igni is around 6’ tall and underweight. He excels in most science classes, especially potionology. He’s also good at physical classes like flight and enjoys the arts. Generally, he’s well rounded in his schooling abilities. He’s a part of Board Game Club.

Hobbies, Talents, Preferences

Igni is an artist, spending most of his time in his room drawing while anime plays in the background. He’s almost always seen listening to music, sometimes playing instruments of his own (usually guitar).

His shapeshifting is his most unique talent, something that comes naturally due to his species. He can shapeshift into anything he can see in front of him, or as far as his imagination can take him… though, the latter ends up with flaws often and makes him appear uncanny.

Igni enjoys being LEFT ALONE to his own devices… but if you’re going to hang out with him, he loves playing video games and is surprisingly cuddly. He has little preference for or against any foods, eating whatever is put in front of him. He does not appreciate it when people point out his eating habits. Believe me, he knows his eating habits are bad.

Backstory

Igni had to move often as a young child, traveling all over the place nearly every year. He spent quite a while in the Isle of Woe, where he met Idia. They had similar interests, and became friends. Once Igni had to move again, he stayed in contact with Idia over the internet.

While his mom took care of him and his sister, Emberly, Igni’s father was usually out at bars with friends. It was fine, Igni missed his father, but he was taken care of so he dealt with it… until his mother died from illness. His father became severely depressed, and turned to drinking his woes away. Igni, being around 12, took over taking care of Emberly, since their father couldn’t. Their father gave up on being a parent after the death of his wife.

Igni had a lot of stress on his shoulders, and receiving an invitation to NRC made it both better and worse. On one hand, he could escape the terrible home life he got stuck in, but on the other… who would care for his sister?…

Once sorted into Ignihyde, Igni was quick to recognize Idia. They caught up with each other and returned to being friends after being separated for years.

Igni has a… condition. For years now, he’s had issues with flowers appearing in his hair, mouth, and clothing… They appear more frequently the more he bottles up his emotions, so he often compares it to the fictional hanahaki disease (this also being what sparked his interest in said disease). It’s not hanahaki, but it’s the closest thing that exists to it. He doesn’t tell anyone why he has this condition, just that he has it and there’s no known cure. The presence of flowers often gives away whether he’s lying about his feelings or not.

Unique Magic

Igni’s unique magic is never spoken about, even by Igni. Actually, Igni doesn’t use magic very much.

However… I can give you a name.

River of Narcissus.

Relationships

Azul Ashengrotto

Igni thinks Azul is so pretty. So, so pretty… you think he has the confidence to approach him? No lmao.

He overblotted over the unrequited feelings he has for Azul. His online handle isn’t g0th1c_hanah4k1 for nothing.

Floyd Leech

Igni is incredibly physically strong.. especially those tentacles on his back. Floyd squeezed him once and he squeezed back with just as much might. They gained a mutual respect for one another, which lead to friendship.

Idia Shroud

Introverted best friends. They can sit together in silence for HOURS doing nothing i tell you!!!! Also Igni is very much in love with Idia but he’s not gonna say that

Ortho Shroud

…Igni misses Ortho.

Other Works

Talk to Igni at his tumblr account! Dw he’s very friendly @g0th1c-han4h4k1

His playlist [Twst OC] Ignacio Hayes - playlist by TheFairyOnEarth | Spotify

Fun facts

Media

#elysia has too many ocs #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #tw alcohol #tw alchohol mention

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highwaytothedangerzone502 · 2 months

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Foxtrot Alpha Alpha - Chapter 33

Pairing: Hangman x Female OC

Word Count: 1973

Warnings: Talk of suicide, swearing

Summary: Hangman learned his lesson a long time ago to never show his true feelings when someone's words or actions hurt him. To do so showed weakness that could be exploited, and Seresin men couldn't show weakness. Of course, there was an exception to every rule, and Jake's always came in the form of women, three in particular: his mom, Juliette Kazansky, and the girl whose name he could no longer bring himself to speak. She was the girl that got away; she was his biggest 'what if' and his biggest regret; she would forever be the ghost that haunted his dreams. Jake believed that's where she'd stay, for he would surely never see her again after what he did.

Or so he thought.

Notes: This is the sequel to India Lima Yankee; I'm using the same callsign for the Female OC as in Ghost Story because I just really like it, but they are different characters; chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: Tequila Right Now

****

Hangman

A consistent pounding in his ears roused Hangman from his deep sleep. He tried to sit up, but that only worsened it. He swiftly pieced together that it was the blood in his head making the incessant noise, not someone knocking on the door. God, death would be less painful than this. How hadn't he died last night with all the alcohol he'd had? It's not like Hangman intended to drink that much, but he kept making friends at the bar who kept paying for his drinks until they could drink no longer and left. But he had stayed. Stayed until-

Fuck. Although barely memorable, faces belonging to Rooster, Juliette, and Ghost flickered in his mind, along with the drunken ramblings he'd tried so hard to keep to himself, to keep quiet, even if they ate him alive because no one deserved to know his pain, but not because of his lack in trust in them. In fact, three of the four people he trusted most with that pain had rescued him from the bar that night. No. They didn't deserve it because they all had pains and worries of their own, none of which needed the added burden of his own problems that were far darker than anyone should ever know.

Hangman forced his eyes open and, through his blurry vision, recognized the white coffee table with aviator magazines neatly spread out on the surface, the built-in bookshelves with a myriad of pictures, books, and awards dotting the shelves, the navy blue recliner with the curled-up figure of Ghost-

At the sight of her, Hangman rocketed upward. The movement caused his world to spin, and it took all of his willpower to not throw up again. He remembered that from last night, too. So much hurling before they'd lugged him to the couch...

When his world stabilized, he tried to stand, but Hangman had hardly taken two steps before ramming his shin into the coffee table. "Fuck!"

Ghost jerked awake, staring wildly and dazed at him. When she comprehended the situation before her, she jumped up to help him.

Push her away. You're only hurt her more. It doesn't matter how much it hurts. Push her away. "Leave me alone," Hangman snapped when Ghost tried to rest her hand on his shoulder. He stepped out of reach, ignoring the pain wracking his body, both from the hangover and the run-in with the coffee table.

"Jake-"

"Don't," he hissed. "I'm fine."

A lie given away by his stumbling, and Ghost knew it, but she listened to him. To his amazement, she listened, staying perfectly still, eyes staring at him with nothing but concern. Why? The last time they'd been in the same room together, she'd rightfully stormed out on him, giving him what had been a final goodbye. Why change her mind so suddenly?

Unless...

He vaguely remembered he'd told her some of his reasoning for not seeing her in the hospital after the crash, but how much else had he divulged to Ghost?

She held her hands up placatingly. "If you want to leave, that's fine, but let me help-"

"I don't need your help," Hangman snapped. "I-"

"What's going on?" Juliette's calm, concerned voice floated from behind him. Hangman turned slowly to avoid toppling over. On Princess's heels was Rooster, eyeing the situation warily. They landed on Hangman, who braced himself for a snarky comment, but none came. That scared Hangman.

"I was just leaving," Jake managed to say, hoping they could avoid any more awkwardness if he ignored the truths he surely divulged last night. "Thanks for letting me crash here, and sorry for dragging y'all out in the middle of the night."

"Don't mention it," Rooster replied evenly. "You want breakfast?"

Hangman shook his head. "I should be getting back to my place."

"Why don't I give you a ride?" Juliette offered, moving toward the garage.

"No." It came out more sharply than he intended, his tone a knife in the tense atmosphere, but he kept it that way. He had to if he had any hope of leaving unescorted. "I'll walk. Sober me up."

"Hell of a walk," Rooster commented, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning against the door frame. Hangman refused to dignify him with a response, only rolling his eyes and moving to the front door.

"You either let one of us take you, or we call someone, but you shouldn't walk alone," Ghost said kindly. "I know my motorcycle might-"

"I don't want you trying to help me because of some stupid, drunken shit I might've said last night. You made it perfectly clear how you feel about me after that fight, so why don't you call Wolfie up about that wine and chocolate he promised you?" The color drained from Ghost's face, and Hangman knew he'd hit his mark. She posted her videos anonymously, possibly only a handful of people knowing about the account. Having not told him about it, Hangman assumed it'd rattle Ghost for her to know he had knowledge about the account she sang her heart out for. But it still wasn't enough to stop her from coming after him if he left. He had to strike lower, harder. Had to rub salt in the wound. Hangman had to keep her away from him. "You want to know what brought that drinking binge on? It wasn't my father's death. It was you. It was 'Forever and Always' after our fight the other night. It was 'Mr. Perfectly Fine' when I was here for the training detachment when I started having a thing for Juliette. It was 'Haunted' on the anniversary of Ghoul's death. It was 'My Tears Richochet' after your lunch with Jackie. It was 'All Too Well' and 'The Story of Us' after running into each other at the Hard Deck the night of Juliette's promotion celebration. It was 'I Forgot That You Existed' after you slept with Rooster. It was every fucking cover song directed at me. It was hearing the anger and hurt in your voice and realizing you not only never moved on from what I did to you but that you thought I stopped caring about you, that I forgot about you altogether, when that couldn't have been further from the God damn truth. It was realizing how low of an opinion you had of me. That's what sent me over the edge. Because I learned how to stop giving a shit a long time ago about what people thought of me, but you mattered. You always have and always will."

"You were never supposed to see those," Ghost breathed, voice barely audible.

Hangman's heart shattered. He might've gone too far, but he'd had to. They weren't good together. No. He wasn't good for her. Hangman did nothing but drag her down, did nothing but hurt her. Ghost gave him chance after chance, and he blew them every single time. She was too good to stop trying to provide him more opportunities to fix what he had broken, so Hangman had to end it for her. Ghost would move on from him, and that's all that mattered to him, whether he found the strength to move on from her or not.

"Yeah, well, I did." Hangman tore himself away from her and yanked the door open. Stepping into the bright sunshine, he called over his shoulder. "Leave me alone. That goes for all of you."

Slamming the door behind him, Jake strode onto the sidewalk with his head held high until the Bradshaw house could no longer see him. Only then did he sag against a stranger's white fence, letting the emotions and turmoil of what occurred just now and last night wash over him. Hangman had always been good at destroying things: flight records, enemy targets... now he could add 'relationships' to the list, too.

With an effort and lead feet, Hangman shuffled to his apartment, the long trek his personal punishment for treating his three friends the way he had. None of them had done anything wrong except see him at the second lowest point in his life, save Hangman from drinking himself into oblivion last night, and learn his deepest, darkest secrets.

It took him a good hour to walk the short trip to his apartment, but rather than heading to bed like his body screamed at him to do, Hangman forced himself to work out. Stripping off his shirt, he put on the boxing gloves and went to the punching bag, taking all his frustration and embarrassment out on the leather and sand, trying to punch away all his emotions. It'd take him until the end of his life to succeed with that endeavor.

"Dude, you've really got to start locking your doors," Coyote said. Hangman whirled around, wondering how long his friend had been there. As if sensing his question, Javy added, "I just got here, but judging by the sweat, you've been at it for a while."

Feigning casualness and masking the dark thoughts that might've been showing on his face, Hangman said, "I thought you would've been with your date still."

"No, we're taking it slow." Coyote looked him up and down. "You look like shit."

Hangman scoffed. If his friend only knew. "Nice to see you, too."

"Ghost texted me."

Shit. "About what?" Jake replied, dropping his gaze to his hands as he took off the boxing gloves.

"All she said is, and I quote: I fucked up. Hangman needs you. No other explanation, so I figured I should get here quickly."

Ghost's words were an exact echo of the ones Hangman had sent Juliette after their fight. God, why couldn't she stop caring about him? Why couldn't Ghost let his words ruin their relationship like he had wanted them to?

"What happened?" Javy prodded, moving aside when Jake stalked to the kitchen.

"I got drunk, said things I shouldn't have, and told her off."

"What exactly did you tell her?"

Hangman sighed, realizing his friend would only drop this once he told the truth. Again. So he did. Almost every nitty gritty detail, with the exception of the near-suicide jump into the ocean that Coyote had unknowingly saved him from. At the end of the story, Javy sat on the bar stool and sighed. "Wow, you really did tell everything. Even the letters?"

"No, not those." Miraculously, it had been the one secret he kept to himself. How that- over everything else revealed last night- ended up being the one piece he hadn't blurted out, Hangman couldn't figure out, but he wasn't complaining.

"Do you still have them?"

"No," Hangman lied, thinking of the stack of envelopes tucked away in a box on the top shelf of the coat closet, forgotten for most of the year except on the few days he found himself tempted to send them. "Even if I did, they wouldn't change anything."

"Why did you never give them to Ghost in the first place?"

Hangman shrugged, unwilling to admit he'd been too scared, too cowardly, to give the sheets of paper that contained every piece of his love to her, afraid she would read them and then wrench his heart right out of his chest out of pure spite for the pain he'd put her through. "Don't know. Didn't feel like it'd make a difference. I've never been good with words or actions anyway, so probably best I didn't give them to her. Most likely would've made it worse."

Coyote nodded but dropped the subject. "Whatever you need, I'm here for you, starting with telling you- and I mean this in the nicest way possible- you need a shower. You reek of alcohol."

And probably other shitty things. Hangman thought grimly. Nodding in agreement, he shuffled off to the bathroom.

****

Tags: @lgg5989 @shanimallina87 @polikszena @summ3rlotus @icemansgirl1999 @supernaturaldawning @thedarkinmansfield @lyannaforpresident @lapilark @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @simpofthecentury @shadeops21 @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @double-j @bradshawsandbridgetons @catsandgeekyandnerd @peachiicherries @multifandomcnova @fandomsstolemylife00 @bookloverhorses @mak-32 @midnightmagpiemama @luckyladycreator2 @ellamae021 @kmc1989

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23 Chp 24 Chp 25 Chp 26 Chp 27 Chp 28 Chp 29 Chp 30 Chp 31 Chp 32 Chp 33

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no-longer-humin · 1 year

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Bsd Men Comforting you after your fav character died in your book/tv series

A/n: ⚠️SPOILERS FOR TBHK⚠️ I learned my favorite character died on his mom’s birthday *cough* Mitsuba and one went missing on his birthday *cough* Tsukasa so I wrote this

Characters: Dazai, Atsushi, Rampo, was going to add Junichiro and I might in the future but for now it’s these three

Dazai

Truth be told he doesn’t know how to react. Like it’s not a real character he can’t tell you ‘their not real what’s the big deal’ cause the gods know that would probably make you kick him out. At first he chose to leave you alone, and after a little while you left the room to get some water, so he decided to talk about it.

“Hey hun what happened?” He asked, grabbing your wrist before you could walk away.

“Nothing, it’s…it’s fine,” the lie would’ve probably worked if your eyes weren’t all red and puffy from crying, but regardless he pulled you into a hug.

“You don’t have to tell me but I still have every right to be concerned about you,” he said hugging you tighter.

“No really Dazai it’s fine, my favorite character died that’s all.” You forced a smile, testing how far you could stretch this lie.

“ ‘m not letting you go ‘til you stop crying,” he mumbled, pulling you over to the couch. You let out a small chuckle but didn’t protest.

“I still expect you to talk to me when you calm down a bit.” Apparently changing his mind from his previous statement. You didn’t protest while the two of you just sat their as your breathing slowly returned to normal and the tears slowly stopped. Gods you were so lucky to have a man like Dazai.

Atsushi

Poor tiger boy immediately wanted to know what happened, it hurt him to see you crying. So it wasn’t a big surprise that he showed up in your room, after seeing you shut the door with tears streaming down your face.

“Hey, are you okay?” He was hesitant to ask and regretted the sentence when you glared at him. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll go,” he began mumbling apologies. You got off the bed and grabbed his arm.

“You can stay , I’m just upset,” you reassured him. He looked at you concern written all over his face.

“Are you upset with me? If so I’m sorry for whatever I did,” he began rambling again, before you cut him off.

“You didn’t do anything, promise. It’s honestly a stupid reason,” you said nervously rubbing the back of your neck.

“If its bad enough to make you cry it’s not stupid,” he knew it was cheesy but it’s true if it makes you cry then it obviously matters.

“Okay fine, of your gonna interrogate me about it. My favorite character died okay that’s it I told you it’s a stupid reason.” You turned away from him more tears forming in your eyes. “You can leave now,” you mumbled, expecting him to leave you laid back down on the bed and curled into a ball.

“Not happening,” he said barely loud enough for you to hear. As he made you sit up and pulled you into a hug. “I’m not leaving until you stop crying,” he said firmly, even when you tried to pull away from him he didn’t allow it he just pulled you tighter against him, and you gave up after a while.

He did make you talk to him about it once you calmed down, and he made sure you were okay before leaving like said he would. Don’t worry he came back a little while later he just had some work to finish up.

Rampo

He figured it out instantly. Why you were crying, how the character died, exactly what point they died, ect. He opted to let you calm down for a bit. Truthfully he wanted to finish his snack, and didn’t feel like getting up at the moment (lazy ass bastard💀). Honestly though you preferred that, you were able to process everything, and calm down a bit before you left the room, going to grab some water(idk bout y’all but crying makes me thirsty). “Hey you alright, and before you say nothing happened I already know so just answer honestly,” he called from the couch.

“Gods I hate you sometimes.”

“You love me sweetheart don’t lie, but answer the question.”

“Ugh fiiiiine, no not really, I mean after all my favorite character died,” so what if you said it angrily you had every right, Rampo chose to ignore you even though he knew damn well what was going on.

“C’mere your staying with me, AND I’ll share my snacks.” You may as well have teleported to the couch with how quickly you got there. But I mean c’mon he promised to share his snacks soooo it’s a win win for you.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #atsushi x reader #ranpo x reader #bsd dazai osamu #bsd atsushi #bsd rampo #osamu dazai #nakajima atsushi #edogawa ranpo

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tartarusknight · 5 months

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I don't know what you're hunting. It's not me, it's something else - 10/10

Also on ao3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 (FINAL PART): to that bloodshed, crimson clover, uh-huh the worst was over

El was scared, deep down, of failing. Of being too slow and failing. She had already failed just earlier that night. When she saw Steve. As he ran forward, she was scared for him, of him, of it all. She had been too slow, and she couldn't afford to let it happen again.

The Upside Down was just as cold as she remembered, and she gripped her sleeves tightly. Hopper had her back but as they stopped in front of the building, she just knew One was hiding out, she was still scared.

She looked back at the man who became her dad and took a deep breath. She had to believe that they could do this. Taking one last second, she pushed away her fear of not being enough. She thought of the people who loved her, trusted her, and cared for her. She let that power her as she moved forward.

She stood tall with people behind her as a backup. One's body was deformed, and she could practically see the anger radiating from him. Hopper took a step forward to be at her side and she knew she had to do this. She had to end this. She needed to stop him to save her friends. Her family.

Her arm raised and she didn't let One say a single word before she blew him backward. Satisfaction grew as he let out a pained grunt. He was weak, their past attacks against him having done more damage than they originally thought. She moved forward, Hopper matching her movements. His gun trained on One, firing a shot every time he seemed to attempt to get back up.

She couldn't afford to give him even a moment of reprieve. El's kindness- her belief that telling One about Papa's death would have an impact had failed her last time. She wouldn't be able to beat him with words. But she had strength. She had the strength to end this.

El let out the feelings that had held her down since was forced to come to the realization that Will was pulled into the Upside Down because of her. She fought with the anger that had come from seeing Max's broken form in the hospital bed. She screamed out her grief at the loss of Robin. She felt tears fall from her eyes like the blood dripping from her nose as she hoped killing One would save Steve and Eddie. She fought against him, knowing she had the power to end this for all of those who died because of this. Because of One.

~~~~~~

Mike ran, seeing Will on his left as they tore through the woods. The sounds of Eddie right behind them. The sounds of Steve off in the distance with their friends. Mike stopped abruptly and froze as they were cut off by a large crack in the earth. Will stumbled, unable to slow down fast enough and hitting the ground from the force of his stop.

Mike could barely catch his breath and heard Eddie's wings in the air. Without thinking, Mike moved and pulled Will to his feet. Before pressing him against a tree, a hand covering his mouth. In the air above he could hear Eddie's chittering. The sound was unnatural and close enough to a Demogorgon that Mike struggled to calm down.

He couldn't imagine the trauma it brought up for Will as they stood there trying to catch their breath and stay as quiet as possible. Will's eyes were wide, and he gripped Mike's arms that held him in place as if he was grounding himself. Mike leaned in a little closer to Will, thankful that at least he wasn't alone.

He could still hear the others in the distance, and he hoped that everyone was alright. But... he could still picture Dustin's scream as Eddie slashed at him. He could still hear the thud of Joyce hitting the van. The way Will shouted for his mom. How Eddie had turned to look at him, blood dripping from one hand. Mike hadn't even hesitated to shout at Eddie, drawing his attention.

Mike just turned and ran, hoping to give the others time. Only, Will had run after him. Making it so the two of them ran into the woods together. He had just wanted everyone to be okay. To live through this. As Eddie took to the sky to follow them.

Eddie let out another shriek before he seemed to give up on them. Mike didn't know what to do but as he pulled back Will shook his head and held him closer. They just stayed there for a couple more seconds. Just staring at each other before Will leaned away from the tree and into him.

Will let out a soft sigh and Mike shifted to pull him into a hug instead. The soft sound of surprise made Mike's chest tight, and he held him a little tighter to his chest. It felt like years since they had hugged like this. Tears welled up in Will's eyes and he hugged Mike back, the two of them just trying to calm down.

Only after another moment Will went tense in his arms. He pulled back a little and Mike looked over Will's face for a sign of what was wrong. His best friend had an almost dazed look on his face and Mike felt ice flood his veins. “Will?” Mike whispered as Will glanced around as if he was looking for something. Only he stopped when his gaze landed on the gate.

Mike didn't move as Will took a few steps towards the gate as if he was once again possessed. “Will,” Mike's voice broke, and he felt too loud, but he couldn't stop it. Will stood at the edge and Mike moved to stand next to him. He grabbed Will's hand and the boy almost jumped at the contact as if forgot Mike was there.

He looked at Mike, but Mike couldn't understand his expression. “We shouldn't go in there,” Mike tried but Will gave him an almost bittersweet smile. He looked back to the portal and Mike watched the way his shoulders slumped.

“I think I have to,” Will whispered.

Mike held onto Will tighter. “No, no this- it's affecting you again. We- we need to get you back to the car. We can get in the sauna; you can sweat it out.” Mike promised but Will wasn't listening. Will's hand pulled away from him and he scrambled to grab it back, but Will was faster. He shifted until the strange gravity around the gate, pulled him through. "Will!” Mike shouted as Will landed on his feet in the Upside Down.

Mike glanced around the forest before he followed Will through. He stumbled onto the slightly rotted ground. Looking around at the red lightning that crackled across the sky. He could hear the battle further away going on between El and Vecna. But he kept his gaze on Will.

He was looking up into the sky, but Mike couldn't look away from him. “Will, please. Just tell me what's going on. What can I- Will, come on, we- this is- I can't lose you.” Mike's voice seemed to finally get through to Will and he looked at him.

He swallowed as Will gave him a small smile. “The world is shifting. There's a- it's like a power imbalance. Like it's trying to break free from Vecna's hold.” Will whispered and he looked back up into the sky.

Mike looked up to see smoke billowing down towards them and he sucked in a sharp breath. But Will didn't look scared as it crashed into him. It moved around him so quickly it pushed Mike backward. “Will!” He screamed but as Will glanced over to him his eyes were black. Mike's heart broke as he realized how badly their plan was going.

Especially as he heard the shriek of Eddie getting closer. Knowing that he had been too loud and led the monster in his friend's body straight to them. Yet he couldn't pull his eyes from Will even as Will's eyes shut, and he looked at peace. The world almost seemed to spark around them, and Mike jumped as a vine shot out. It reached Will and soon more were pulling at Will, raising him from the ground.

“Will!” Mike screamed but was distracted by the sound of something going through the gate. The gate opened up as Eddie pushed through and Mike could see the inhumane eyes following him. He swallowed and glanced at Will. Will shifted and the vines holding him were almost glowing. The cloud of dust was lightening as well.

Eddie seemed almost confused too, frozen in place as he watched Will. Mike didn't know what to do but soon he knew his purpose. The dust shot out from Will, spreading out. The vines seemed to bloom with a new life as they dropped Will and slid back into the woods. Mike didn't think before catching his friend and holding him in his arms.

A panicked screak came from Eddie and Mike looked back as golden light, no, golden dust swirled around him. Pulling at him. Mike watched with wide eyes as the almost bat-like wings were basically torn into. The dust seemed to be pulling and pushing at him. Molding him anew.

Before he collapsed as if he were a puppet with its strings cut. He could see the way the darkness left Eddie's features. The shift of features under his skin. Mike felt frozen but Eddie didn't move. He just stared, dread in his gut until he noticed the rise and fall of his chest.

But then Will caught his attention. He blinked his eyes back open, his eyes swirled with gold that seemed to spread around them. Mike watched as it almost seemed to bloom out of Will and into the world around them. Filling it with life, looking straight out of a painting.

The ash-filled air, the black sludge, and the long vines that looked like tentacles all began to shift, to change. The air came out clearer, the sky shifting from red lighting and dark clouds into a hazy yellow. The trees shook off the rot until they were a light gray, with yellow leaves blooming on their branches. The vines shifted, going gray with little stems with more yellow flowers blooming out.

Yellow flashes of lighting still went off in the distance. But Mindflayer began to shift, and it lost its spiderlike form, instead, the rest of it was melting into the clouds and into the ground. The ground trembled as the smoke pulled chunks of the world into the air. Floating in the sky as if that's what it was meant to do. Pieces of the buildings were torn in two and collapsing to the ground.

“Will?” Mike asked and Will looked at his friend's big, anxious-looking eyes. “Are you- what are- you're eyes.”

Will blinked like he was confused, “what?”

Mike held him a little tighter, “They're glowing, like they- like golden.” He whispered but Will only continued to look confused.

“What's happening?” Mike begged to know, and Will glanced around them.

“I asked it to stop following One and be- to let us go.” He admitted, “I- it was like it was reaching out. Like it needed someone to push it to change.”

Mike's eyes widened, “when you said let us go- do you-” he looked over at Eddie in his arms. “Is it- is it really over?”

~~~~~

Erica curled up under Robin, but Robin wasn't attacking. She was frozen. Erica scrambled away and looked back as the darkness seemed to fade from Robin's features. She looked at Erica once more. Gone were the black eyes but instead her blue eyes were back with a swirl of gold within them. They were the best thing Erica had been.

Robin's arms shook until she collapsed onto the ground. Erica moved forward, watching in disbelief as the features that made her monstrous changed under her gaze. Like she was released from a hold. Erica reached forward slowly and as she took Robin's hand. Her hand was warm, and it made Erica choke out a sob.

Footsteps broke them apart and she looked back to see Sam Owens along with a couple of guards. Dr. Owens stared in shock at Robin before looking at Erica. Erica looked back to Robin instead. To the rise and fall of her chest. She was extremely pale, but she was there. Owens moved forward, checking a few vital signs on the older girl.

He let out quiet huh. Then looked at Erica, “I think we should get her in a hospital bed. She's gotta have a place to rest.” He says like she's going to recover. At her tearful gaze, Owen places a hand on her shoulder. “We're not going to let this miracle go to waste. We'll save her,” he promised, and Erica let out another sob.

She didn't let go of Robin's hand as they brought a gurney over and picked Robin up and onto the bed. Erica just moved in with her. Her lungs were still recovering, and her legs were weak from exhaustion, but she wouldn't leave her side. She'd stay by her side until she got better. Because Robin Buckley was going to get better.

~~~~~

Nancy moved to shut the door of the makeshift sauna when she noticed it. The shift of bones under her hands. She let go of Steve on impulse and Lucas seemed to do the same. Steve dropped to the ground with a thud and she winced. But then she saw it.

The way the black seeped from his features. The lines that formed the petal mouth, smoothed until they only had a faint thin golden scar. Nancy felt shock running through her bones. The radio went off and for a moment before a voice, Nancy didn't think she'd hear, filled the air. “You- you assholes did it.” Max's voice was dry and exhausted, but it was there. They all stared, frozen from the shock of it all. Then Lucas was taking the radio from her again and speaking too fast to even let Max respond.

She choked on a sob as Steve let out a low moan before he was blinking awake. She crouched down next to him. His eyes were the soft honey brown she loved so much but with a newer swirl of gold inside them. He coughed and black sludge escaped his mouth. His hand shook as he wiped his mouth. Without even thinking, Nancy helped him sit up.

He looked dazed and Nancy didn't know if it was from the sedative still in his veins or from coming back to himself. But she was patient enough to wait for him to snap out of it. “N-” His voice was truly wrecked, and it made him cough. She heard movement and Dustin, who was covered in a mix of Robin's and his own blood, came into view. He had a long cut from where his collar bones should have been to his hip.

Steve wasn't given a chance to notice the injury because Dustin was pulling him into a hug. Dustin was crying and Steve just melted into the embrace. His eyes fluttered shut and he fell asleep in Dustin's arms. She couldn't stop herself from reaching over and taking one of Steve's hands. His hand was warm, and it made her relax a little more.

Her gaze left Steve's for a moment to find Jonathan's. Jonathan was over by Joyce talking, the two of them watching the woods. The radio with Lucas crackled, cutting off Lucas. “I'm glad to hear you awake, Max, but I could use some help.” Mike's voice broke through and Nancy let go of Steve, to come by Lucas's side. “Will and Eddie are both completely asleep and I don't think I could carry one of them, let alone two of them.” He said and Nancy's shoulders relaxed the rest of the way.

“What happened?” Joyce took to the walkie-talkie, her voice sounding nervous.

Mike let out a laugh like he couldn't even begin to understand what was going on. “Will- God it was amazing. He connected with the Upside Down and he changed it .” He said and Nancy looked over to Steve. “He asked it to let them go,” Mike said and Nancy couldn't even begin to understand how amazing all these kids were.

~~~~~

El stumbled, exhaustion in her very bones but she stayed standing. Not that she could say the same for One. He lay in a pile of debris, his body still. She watched as Hopper moved forward, gripping the sword he brought back with him from Russia. She winced as he swung down and looked away as she heard the way One's head rolled away from his body.

“Radio Owens,” Hopper ordered, “tell them it's done.” He states and then he's in front of her. She looks up at him, noticing the slight blood splatter on his shirt that hadn't been there before. “It's over, kid.” He says and she nods before leaning into him.

She was so tired but she blinked awake as the world shifted around them. Hopper's arm wrapped around her as the vines shook off the rot. As the world seemed to brighten and change for the better. El's eyes found the few flowers that bloomed off of the vines, a beautiful golden color and she knew... she knew who did this.

“What-” Hopper started to ask, the other military personal swearing and freaking out.

But she only smiled, “Will.” She said, sure and calm. Hopper looked confused but she leaned down and gently brushed her hand on the golden flower. It felt warm and safe. Like Will always was to her.

The red of the world, the infection that was One, faded away. Until all there was, was Will. He wasn't controlling the world, but he was helping shape it. He was urging it to pick kindness after years of violence. “We won,” she said and looked at Hopper.

However, she couldn't help but think that it wasn't really over until she saw her friends again. Until she knew for sure that they won. The people around them moved on their own missions but El just wanted to back to her friends. Hopper looked down at her and seemed to understand. He took her hand, and they headed back out of the cracks of the Upside Down.

After they got a ride back to the hospital, she was close to sleep but she was forced back into alertness as they reached the front doors. The vehicle the others had taken was terribly parked by the front door like they were in a hurry. Along with a large dent in the side. She swallowed hard, forcing her exhausted limbs to keep moving.

The hospital was a mess, with nurses and doctors looking frantic as they entered. She dropped Hopper's hand and as she raced towards the room, she knew at least some of the others would be in. However, as she got closer to Max's room. She saw the blood on the floors and walls.

Her heart dropped as she noticed the door no longer on its hinges that should've protected Max. She ran forward and felt tears in her eyes. But as she looked inside, she was shocked.

Max was propped up against some pillows, Lucas's hand in hers. Three more cots pulled in a squished to the side. A lump of dark curls and twitching muscles as they slept on one, Mike sitting on the end of it. Two people so intertwined El didn't know where one started and the other ended in the second one. And Dustin sat on the last one with a nurse patching him up, Will curled up on the end of that bed asleep. The rest of the party is packed into the room, either standing or sitting in the plastic chairs.

Nancy pushed away from the wall as she entered and El looked over them all. Joyce moved and took one of El's hands. "We're all okay," she promised and El's eyes watered as she realized that it was truly over. "We won?" Joyce asked and El nodded in agreement. Joyce caught her as she hugged her mom.

She looked over to Eddie who was passed out on a cot, twitching like a cat in its sleep but alive and okay. The two, Steve and Robin, words were so muffled that she couldn't make out through the number of tears in their voices. But they only sounded relieved. Dustin smiled at her, and Max offered her, her other hand. Proving to her that they really were okay.

El moved over and took the hand, exhaustion in her every movement. "You did it," Max said and El nodded. "I knew you could." Max yawned and El felt the tears beginning to fall. But they were happy tears as Max shifted just enough to let her curl up with her.

The party fell asleep in the small room. Too many of them to be comfortable. But not one of them complained. Not after the night they had. Not as the relief drowned out anything else.

That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you (The Great War - Taylor Swift)

Tags: @ellietheasexylibrarian@nburkhardt@artiststarme@flowers-that-sing@juleswashere3@indiearr@remosdeerica

#tw violence #el hopper #mike wheeler #will byers #erica sinclair #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #post season 4 #platonic stobin #knightly talks #I don't know what you're hunting. It's not me it's something else

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outpost51 · 3 months

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7 snippets 7 people

tagged by @writernopal over here tyyyyy i love this one

tagging: @sparatus @thetrashbagswasteland @omniblades-and-stars @sunflaresspace @mxanigel @bambino1294 @westernlarch

have a few of my favorite bits from unlikely adventures. CW: gore, violence, smut, the usual suspects

CH 2: My Sister's Keeper

Dillon was eight when her parents divorced. It wasn’t nasty. No one yelled. Darren didn’t demand custody, but Cheryl politely requested it, and he signed the papers without a second thought. He even gave up the house, choosing instead to stay in a much more reasonable two-bedroom apartment downtown, closer to his job with the law firm.

But she was eight, and all she ever knew about love she learned from her parents, and all the storybooks ended at ‘happily ever after,’ not ‘and then years later, when they realized they only got hitched because the princess was fifteen and pregnant and the prince was scared of her daddy’s shotgun, there was a civil division of community property and they never spoke again.’ A father should never be his daughter’s first taste of heartbreak, but Darren always was an overachiever. He got to put that trophy right up on his Dillon wall next to ‘Dada was her first word’ and ‘she took her first steps for me.’

She really was a daddy’s girl before, thrashing to his classic metal CDs in the basement and trying to out-belch each other at the dinner table. And after all that, he didn’t even fight for custody. He didn’t fight for her. Dillon saw it as her father wanting nothing to do with her and Daisy, even if he had free visitation rights and took them to the movies and the mall and theme parks. She was always shut down and distant during those trips, believing them to be a farcical attempt at bribing her and her sister, or a token effort because her mom asked him to.

CH 3: Death Doesn't Give Third Chances

“Your dad doesn’t remember.”

“Remember what?”

“That your sister died.” Cheryl flipped through a few pages. Raised her eyebrows a few times. She set the book down and went down to the basement, leaving Dillon alone at the counter with a massive stack of pancakes. Unattended. Four fell prey to her grabby hands before Cheryl returned.

With a severed head, its face frozen in a scream.

That she promptly whacked against the counter over and over until it cracked open.

“You cut up bodies three nights out of the month, pickle,” Cheryl chided as her daughter lost her pancakes in the sink.

Dillon looked at her mother with a mix of shock and disgust. “Yeah, I cut ‘em up, I don’t brutalize them.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, it’s not like it’s bleeding.” Cheryl dropped the pulpy remains in her daughter’s outstretched hands. “Do something with that, please. I need to scramble this before your sister comes back down.”

With her mind completely dissociated from her physical form, Dillon sputtered, “Like what? I can’t just throw this in the trash!”

Cheryl exhaled through her nose. “Of course not, that’s wasteful. Put it in a bag and put it back in the freezer. I’ll boil it later to make freezie-pops.” She scoffed at Dillon’s continued perturbation. “What? Werewolves get hot, too. It’s too much work to fill a kiddie pool with ice for Gus to roll in every time we go on a run. Get some of my bacon while you’re down there.”

Dillon inhaled to respond, but swallowed the thought at her mother’s look.

CH 4: Like Moths

“Oi, Lawson, fuck off,” Moira barked. She had such an elegant way with words.

“Or what, freak? You gonna hex me?” Troy made a dismissive gesture. “Go back to your coffin, the sun’s still out.”

Dillon could almost hear the creak of Moira’s jaw as she clenched it. The pentacle necklace that never left her neck rose and fell with every angry breath, flashing a warning in the afternoon sun. Dillon stepped up behind her best friend. Her belly button barely cleared the top of the table, but she could still mean mug the shit out of them. Moira didn’t need help taking on six high schoolers, it was the thought that counted.

“Oh look, it’s the littlest Monroe, too,” Troy’s best friend, Conner Stevens, drawled. He didn’t move from his relaxed drape against the back of the booth. “What’re you gonna do, cut yourself at us?”

The bar for being the bigger person suddenly got a lot lower. Moira snarled over the table. Dillon put a gentle hand on her bicep. “No, Troy,” she chuffed. “I’m not. But you wanna know what I can do?” She hopped up on the table, jostling his drink with the jolt and wobble of the table. “You remember what happened to Brett?”

That got Troy’s attention. “What, you gonna pull a bear outta your ass? Wouldn’t surprise me, if you’re as big of a whore as your s—” His voice was suddenly cut off with a wet choke.

“Dill—”

“He brought Daisy into it, Moira,” she spat. “His ass is fair game now.” Her head hurt and her chest tightened as her emotions rose higher, but this time she was ready for it, and greeted the pain like an old friend. Passing out would so be worth making that little worm regret even thinking Daisy’s name.

Conner shook Troy’s shoulder, but it was no use. He was fully choking on a massive lump lodged firmly in his esophagus. His blond girlfriend-of-the-week pulled him into a Heimlich position — she was a lifeguard at the community pool, Dillon thought — and on the fourth violent thrust of her hands against his diaphragm, the foreign object in his throat finally dislodged itself.

A clump of daisies the size of her fist slopped wetly onto his half-finished burger.

Dillon felt something wet trickle from her nose. Worth it. “Now get the fuck away from our table before I pick something with thorns.”

CH 5: Come, Devil

"The show hasn't even begun, mon petit aperitif, I still have my pants on." He took his time turning on the shower, fiddling with the temperature, pulling out towels — all while letting Dillon dangle over his shoulder, and when she decided grumbling wouldn't get her anywhere and instead caught one wing in her hands to bite the sensitive membrane, he reminded her that his hands weren't the only disciplinary tools at his disposal, wrapping his tail around her arms and yanking her upright. How she still managed to maintain enough dignity to look angry with her pants and underwear hanging around her ankles, he didn't know, but he liked it a fair share more than he was willing to admit. It's not like anything was fully on display either, thanks to the massive shirt drowning her in fabric, but that was easily remedied. He grabbed the hem and made to rip it free—

"Don't tear my shirt, please." The quiet earnestness of her plea was jarring in the wake of her snarling fit, enough so that it turned his muscles to stone and forced him to meet her eyes. There was a flicker of fear in their hollow depths, suddenly so cold and lifeless, had he not felt her pulse fluttering against the underside of his tail, he'd wonder if she still had one at all. "Daisy bought it for me. It was the first concert we went to together."

Well, fuck. Zadimus set her down and stepped back, watching her kick off her other clothes and slowly, reverently strip off her shirt and fold it on the counter. "You really do love your sister, don't you?"

The fire went right back into her eyes as she looked up with raw determination and something he couldn't place, the sort of vicious familial passion he'd never observed in a member of his own kind; it drove otherwise pacifistic mothers to violent, gruesome vengeance killings, and made brothers fight more fiercely for — and sometimes against — each other than they would in any other circumstance. "I poured my soul into the ground so she could climb back out of it," she spat. "What do you think?"

"I think we're going to get along brilliantly," he replied, then pulled her into his arms again to crush their mouths together. The kiss was short-lived; she drew back and he worried he'd crossed a boundary somewhere, but she thrust her thumbs into his mouth and pried his jaws open.

"So that's what it was!"

"Whah?"

She grinned in triumph. "Your tongue's pierced, you wily fucking devil."

Zadimus batted her hand away. “I have other things pierced, you know, if that’s what really gets you going,” he drawled. “But as it stands, Miss Monroe, you have a filthy fucking mouth and it’s high time someone cleaned up your act.”

CH 8: Bullet on the Tracks

“Did you grab the bacon from up here or downstairs?”

Zadimus pointed to a plate of bacon that looked leaner than usual. “Downstairs for me,” he said, then pointed at the pan sizzling in front of him, “and up here for you.” He dumped the bacon onto a paper-towel-covered plate. “Your mother has a good system, all the cooking vessels are marked so there’s no risk of cross-contamination.”

Dillon nodded, reaching for a slice of her bacon. “Yeah, she adapted pretty quick— fuck!”

“You just saw me take that out of the pan, dipshit,” Zadimus scoffed at Dillon’s pitiful puppy eyes, then pulled her injured finger from her mouth. “It’s just a bit irritated, you’ll live.”

“But it hurts,” she pouted.

With a sigh, he ran his tongue over her finger before resuming his prior task of cracking eggs into the pan. “Better?”

Dillon gaped at the tingling still chasing away the angry red of a minor burn. “Wh— how.”

“Magic.”

“In your… spit.”

“Ah, no.” Zadimus tossed the empty carton into the recycling and the shells into the compost bin. “In general. But my hands were full,” he chuffed with a wink, squeezing her thigh.

Dillon scrunched up her nose to hide her grin. “Letch.”

“Careful, Dillon,” he teased. “I might think you like me and my brazen ways.”

She smacked his bicep, but the smile on her face lit the room and the flush of her cheeks warmed it. Zadimus released her into the kitchen so she could go about fixing coffee, as their infernal, unnecessarily complicated device refused to tell him its secrets. He was buying a machine for himself the next chance he got, something with as few buttons as possible and a normal filter. He got so lost in his fantasy of simplicity he almost missed her question. “Where are we going today?”

It didn’t help that she had half a bagel shoved into her mouth. How someone so small managed to open her jaw so wide— he shook off that train of thought before it could go anywhere that might cause another delay this morning.

CH 8: Bullet on the Tracks

So Zadimus let Dillon poke and prod his fading bruises; the single rib fracture that had started righting itself, the kink in his tail he’d already straightened in the back seat with someone’s hoodie in his mouth to muffle the grunt of pain it had wrung from him. That one smarted a bit, and he gave her a token wince so she’d have something to fuss over. He had been around long enough to know mortals needed to fret and tend to each other after a fight, to regain some control over something when everything else had been more or less out of it. He would never know the fear of a final death, but he understood it, and he had felt the stain it left behind once or twice in his thousand years.

He lifted the pads of her fingers to his lips and kissed the worry from each one, letting the tingle of magic distract her from their ordeal long enough to steal another kiss from her mouth. “See? I’m fine.”

He might have been, but she wasn’t — with her worrying hands at last sated to stillness, Zadimus could see where blood had dried beneath her fingernails, where boiling ichor had stained her knuckles an angry red, where she’d cut her lip either with her own teeth or while she was ripping the wraith apart. Flecks of darkness stubbornly clung to the outer edges of her irises. There was that glimpse again: scarlet braid, leather and metal, sturdy hips and silk-over-steel thighs, and the most vibrantly green eyes he’d ever seen.

There was nothing hard about Dillon except her damned head, but she hadn’t lived through war, famine, pestilence — only a pale horse roamed her pastures, yet she was neither afraid of its bray nor its bite. Her struggles all lived in her heart, and somehow it had still remained as chiffon-soft as the rest of her.

He’d recognize those eyes anywhere, though. Like sunlight reflecting off a dragon’s scales, sharp as a sword and twice as lethal, and when he found himself caught in her gaze—

“Zadimus?”

—the tenderness stabbed him with want so deep, so fathomless, he thought it might actually kill him.

Her lip split again when he crushed his mouth against hers. Blood and moss. She tasted like blood and moss and something ancient, something wild. Energy sparked against his teeth, a volley of arrows meant to take out his fortress defenses, and the energy within him answered in kind, pouring over her tongue and down her throat.

The backs of his thighs collided with the kitchen table. Fuck it. Zadimus let her push him back, spreading his wings across the surface and over the sides like a tablecloth. “People eat here, Dillon,” he teased, even as he helped her climb over him.

She bit his nipple.

Interlude II: Bad Blood

“Pamela Foster,” the newcomer clipped. “Castlebury Park. Sorry I’m late, the homeowner’s association meeting ran long because some people don’t seem to understand neighborhood beautification standards exist for a reason, and a black garage door is an eyesore.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Acheron,” Sterling hissed. His chair scraped as he rose, knocking into his hovering servant. If he noticed, he didn’t acknowledge it. “This? This is the fabled new bloodline? What’s she going to do, ask to speak to the manager?”

“Mister La Croix and I have already spoken, actually, thank you.” Pam took her seat at the end of the table. Acheron didn’t miss the mild panic flitting across Jedediah’s face and the subtle scoot of his chair away from her. Interesting. “We’re here because of my turning, correct?”

“A completely new bloodline hasn’t appeared since the seventeenth century, just mutated from older ones, so this is… most unusual,” Idris explained. “We’re sure you’re perfectly capable, but--”

“But what? I sent in my curriculum vitae, you’re all aware of my leadership capabilities, and further--”

“A leader ain’t just a few fancy words on a piece of paper, Pammy.”

Pam’s eyes narrowed and her mouth pressed into a thin line. Acheron felt his entire body threaten to implode into itself to escape. “Do not interrupt me, Mister… the Dragonheart, is it? Or so help me, you will find out why I was chosen as this line’s progenitor.”

Hagar’s mouth quirked up into an intrigued grin. How long had it been since another member challenged him like that? How long since anyone had?

“Further, I have submitted my territory demarcation through the appropriate channels, so I hardly think an entire meeting is necessary. I’m sure you all have better things to do,” the newcomer concluded. Her shock of bleached-blonde hair seemed to move in a breeze only she could feel. What little of it could move, anyway; the pixie cut looked sprayed and gelled and spiked to within an inch of its life.

Her conclusion once more erupted the room into cacophonous bickering, and again Hagar fired his gun to silence it before Acheron could even raise his voice. A second chunk of plaster joined the first. Pam did not look happy about it, and wouldn’t you know, the big brute actually flinched.

“Can we at least pretend we belong in our respective positions and act with a smidgen of civility? We aren’t werewolves,” Acheron snapped. Seconds later, he was clawing at an invisible hand constricting tighter and tighter around his throat.

“The woman I intend to take as my mate is a werewolf, Mister La Croix.” Pam’s eyes glowed a deep, dusky red. Her clothes swept up in the quickening breeze. “Tread carefully.”

#my fic #sneeps.txt #unlikely adventures #the arsonist chronicles

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dooplissss · 3 months

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i would like to know about the ocs 🫴🏽

bless you

ok I have way more than just these but these are the current standouts, maybe I’ll do a part 2 tomorrow bc i cant stop talking about my silly little guys

Emmett & Marasmus: Newest oc for dnd, pact of the undead warlock. Emmett was just living his life til he ate the wrong mushroom for dinner and it revealed itself to be a god named Marasmus that wants people to praise it, so it took over poor Emmett’s body and puppeted him around, turning his hometown into a cult. Emmett broke out of his stupor and escaped after nearly feeding a spore to his brother and he’s been running ever since, his body slowly being eaten by the monster that inhabits him. Also they bicker constantly, real Beacon and Duck Newton vibes.

Emmett is truly just some guy who doesn’t deserve to have this wannabe god parasite stuck to him but that’s how these things go. He’s so sweet and ofc he loves his family bc I’m predictable and make that a trait for nearly all my ocs. I tend to avoid family drama or at least do it in a different way than most people, in that I prefer my characters to be striving to get back home or avoiding going home because they feel they don’t deserve to be a part of their family anymore, but always always always they are loved despite everything bad they’ve done/think they’ve done. I really hope the game goes long enough to see Emmett get to hug his brother again and forgive his mom for not being able to help him, he’s the only one of my ocs who’s been wronged by his family and even then its neither of their fault. God he needs a hug so bad

Salem & Erin: god this guy is so fun. Salem is a skellington who started as a rich brat that got peer pressured into a ritual that makes you immortal, 40 years later he had a heart attack, died for a second, and then started rotting alive. He spent decades alone in his big mansion haunting his own halls, bored out of his skull. Occasionally people would come thru, be terrified by him or try to kill him, but largely he was just left there. It took him years to work up the courage to enter his son’s room and reminisce about him; he was married a long time ago, but as soon as he floated the idea of having his spouse and child go through the ritual too they up and left him.

Eventually a realtor, Erin, comes to the house to sell it, and she’s the only person who isn’t scared of him. It’s the first conversation Salems had in years and they become friends, her daughter Olivia makes clothes for Salem to disguise his form and help him gain the courage to leave the house more and more. Salem lets more people into the house, especially artists he really loves art, and eventually lets people live there while he moves in with Erin and Olivia once he feels safe enough to live among people again.

Originally Erin and Salem were supposed to just be friends but ofc I started shipping them and ughhh they make me insane. They’re both divorcees and have talked at length about how they’ll never make that mistake again, but Salems been in love with Erin since the beginning. And he’s the least subtle person on the planet so ofc everyone knows, including Erin and she’s just patiently waiting for the day when Salem admits how they feel, however long it takes. I made Salem for dnd and his quest is basically to find a way to undo his immortality, but tbh every time he joins a campaign it dies soon after so I think I want to try making a comic or a series of vignettes or something for him anyway, especially since I’ve had a lot of time to think about plot hooks and stuff.

this is the only fic i have them but i really love it please clap

Tillian & Somlen: The OCs of All Time. I literally have a tattoo representing them, they mean so goddamn much to me its hard to put into words like they changed me as a person. Somlen isn’t my oc, he belongs to my dm, but the two are so tied together and influenced each other so much it all kinda blends together.

Tillian is a haunted one bard who grew up in the town of Winslow, a little prairie town that had something Wrong in the well that caused all the sounds to warp. The crops whispered, the blueberries gossiped, her mom echoed, her dad sang, her brother spoke backwards, and when Tillian herself spoke everyone would hear something different (I had a d100 list for what they would hear). After someone disappeared while doing recon inside the well, the town boarded it up and went their separate ways. When Tillian’s family went to stay with her aunt, she said hello to her cousin and instantly killed him with her voice.

She went to bard college to help get her voice back, and as the game started she was simply looking for answers to why this happened and what caused it. She meets with the group, starts adventuring, and one fight goes so bad she gets fully 3 failed death saves killed. Something picks her out of the river of death and brings her back to life, and that’s when she buys a haunted doll, a homebrew item from TAZ that takes that final death onto itself.

As the adventurers leave town, she feels her bag moving on to find oh fuck the doll is alive and its an asshole. The doll says his name is Somlen and he was cursed after he slept with the wrong person. Tillian HATES this guy at first but ah fuck, if she dies he’s going to die in her place so she has to be more careful. And as she talks to him more, she starts to warm up to him. He cheated on his girlfriend and he’s the perfect picture of the horny bard trope, but he wants to do better and become a better person.

Things happen, yadda yadda, Tillian finds out the location of the hag that cursed him and they kill her, taking the curse away but Somlen is still stuck in the doll body, they need powerful magic to get him polymorphed back to human. The group decides to go to a city but, as a lark, one of the npcs decides to try her luck to change him back and she rolls a goddamn nat 20. Somlen is human again and oh god he’s in his birthday suit. While Tillian is in total shock, the group gets him clothed, Somlen jokes around and plays it cool up until he gets back to Tillian, who just. Wordlessly takes her signature scarf, the one her dad knit for her, and wraps it around him and hugs him. And it hits them both like, they did it, he’s safe, and Somlen would do anything for her and vice versa.

They go into the city where they get a clue to visit the outskirts where Tillian’s aunts house is, except its old, like really really old, all that’s left is a hole down into the basement. And when they get in, Tillian can feel something trying to communicate with her, and she learns this place is over 2000 years old and so is she. That night, when she sleeps, she wakes up inside the well surrounded by hundreds of faces and she knows every single one of them. The thing that lives in the well tells her to bring her friends back for it, and that’s when it hits her: This thing, the Uvuuduam, has been sending her out every hundred years to go collect a group of adventurers and bring them back to feed them to this monster. It controlled her into tracking down every villager of Winslow and throwing them down into the well, including her mom and dad and brother. She is as much the thing haunting her home as this awful creature is.

She wakes up, silently collects her things, and leaves everyone behind to spare them. They catch up, ofc, but she is desperate to spare them from this fate. She offers them a anti-scrying necklace so they can leave her and be untrackable, but no one agrees to take it, they’re all in it to save her much as she begs them not to. She is absolutely broken by this revelation, but the group and especially Somlen are there to hold her together.

They send some time leveling up and preparing to go to her town, and finally the day comes when they arrive. They go into the well and face the Uvuuduam, it’s a tough fight (we had a irl sleepover to play it all the way thru), but they do it and she severs this horrible things neck as she screams, her voice finally returning to her after all these years. Everyone in the well wakes up, she reunites with her family, and (this part always makes me cry) when she sleeps that night, it’s the first restful sleep she’s had in 2000 years. She and Somlen stay behind in Winslow, finally home.

Like. They are truly everything to me. They are foils in so many ways but it just makes them stronger. Tillian is an aromantic bard, helping me realize I myself am aro, and it always gets to me that she loved so fiercely and so much and it was used as a weapon against her, that the monster knew it could depend on her to make connections strong enough to make people willing to do anything for her and therefore bring back its food. She loves too much for her own good, but she’s safe now, she’s with her family and the people she loves and god forbid anything try to take advantage of her ever again.

Also these two are just funny. Two halves of a whole idiot. Tillian is a neurotic mess at all times, Somlen is full of himself, they’re life partners and also an inseparable comedy duo. They’ve seen each other at their very worst and choose each other without hesitation over and over. They’ve both had their free will ripped from them thru curses and manipulation and they vow to break the hold others have on them, they would tear the world in half if the other asked. And just. Tillian wants nothing more than to return home while Somlen runs as far away from his past as possible, but he finds a home in her and he helps her win back hers. They love each other and they are best friends forever :’) also I’ve written so many fics about them and I still have so many more I want to write lmao

#tillian and somlen #emmett #salem #i could talk about tillian and somlen for ten thousand years and i will #ocs

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years

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The Possession ( Sequel to Mystery of Laufey Manor)

Read Chapter 9 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 10

Summary : Loki tells you the truth about your parent's death and you make a decision

Trigger Warning : Discussion of death and suicide

"How did your parents die?" You looked at him, your eyes teared up instantly, you have never talked about your parents with him. He just knew of the fact that they passed away. It was raining heavily and you two were stuck at the shop, so you pulled out two chairs in the middle of the room and sat down with him.

"My mom died when I was 19, from a heart attack. She was getting sick frequently prior to that but she chalked it up to regular sickness. Nobody knows what happened, she was too young to have a heart attack. I was in the hospital, sitting right next to her bed..as she.." your eyes filled up to the brim so he grabbed your hand and made you sit on his lap, he wiped your tears and kissed your forehead softly to comfort you, hands caressed your back soothingly

"I'm so sorry darling" you wrapped your arms around his neck and put your head down on his shoulder, his own eyes filled with tears.

"It's okay, my dad was never the same after she was gone, she was his whole world, he loved her more than anything. He was broken and started drinking a lot, so I dropped out of college to help him with the shop. Every night I'd find him crying as he held their wedding picture in his hand and the engagement ring she left behind. One morning when I went to their room to wake him up, he was gone too" Your voice cracked as you thought about the painful memory, your parents deserved better than this. They deserved their forever and they should have been here. Loki could imagine how horrifying it must have been for you to find your father like that.

"Your siblings didn't come for help?" He asked you and you looked at him

"Initially they did, but they were older and had their own life so they moved on..I never thought it would get like this at the time but Steve actually helped a lot when my mom died, he spent time with my dad every night, he got him back to just one drink every night"

Loki seemed pale as you said that, his eyes teared up again and he seemed upset.

"What is it?" You asked him and he couldn't even look at you

"Steve said something to me last night" you nodded and gulped in nervousness. You had a dreadful feeling forming in the pit of your stomach, and it was growing into a tornado with every passing moment loki didn't utter a word to you

"What did he say lo?"

"I just want you to know that he was always deranged and none of this is your fault"

"Loki, what did he do?" You got up from his lap, your eyes widened with shock and hurt.

"You moved out and went away from here when you turned 18, he was visiting your mom, always bringing her the food that his mother prepared. He was adding ephedrine in it, it's a type of drug used to manage blood pressure, prolonged consumption is what caused her heart to give out" you stepped a few steps behind as the shock, rage and disgust filled you. You bumped into one of the spice shelves behind you so he got up and walked closer to you

"Darling.." he whispered as he grabbed you and pulled you into his arms, he knew the news would devastate you and that's why he was so afraid of telling you the truth.

"And my dad? He wasn't nursing my dad back to health was he? He was poisoning him slowly right?" Your lips quivered as you put the clues together, he nodded his head to confirm your doubts, the pain you felt in the moment was unbearable, the guilt made you want to die. They died because of you, because he wanted you all alone, he wanted you alone and helpless hoping that you'd fall into his arms.

"Why didn't..he just..why didn't he just harm me..why them? They didn't deserve it Loki..they didn't deserve it" you broke down, he never wanted to see you in such excruciating pain again but you had to know the truth. He could have hidden this all his life and would have kept it all to himself to protect you from the truth but you just started to trust him and he knew hiding this would only make it worse and ruin your relationship with him

"They didn't..they absolutely didn't and neither do you alright? None of this is your fault. I know how you're feeling sweetheart, I have been there, I have been at the exact same place as you are now and even though it may feel as if the world is crashing down on you, I promise you that It would get better, I'll make it better" he hugged you tightly, as tightly as he could without hurting you.

"How..how would it get better lo? How..they won't come back..they will never come back..they died because of me" he knew nothing he could say would bring you comfort right now, the guilt must be eating you up and all he wanted to do was take all your pain away.

"They won't..but they would want you to not berate yourself for this, you're not responsible for this, Steve is and if I knew about this before I killed him, I wouldn't have allowed him to have such an easy cowardly escape, I'd make him suffer like he made you and your parents suffer"

You don't know how long you stood there just sobbing in his arms and he didn't stop you even once, he knew you needed to let it all out, the news made you feel as if your parents had died all over again and you were feeling all that pain, they would still be here if it wasn't for Steve. And now he wanted to hurt Loki too. You can't let that happen, you can't.

You pulled away from him and looked up at him, his cheeks were flushed because he was crying too, he was hurting too and you hated it. You hated how complicated your life has gotten and it would have been like this or worse with or without Loki. He wasn't responsible for all this and he didn't need to feel so, if he wouldn't have killed him, Steve would have stalked you all your life. You cupped his cheeks in your hands and lifted yourself up on your toes so you could kiss him.

"Take me home please" you whispered as your lips grazed over his neck

"Darling.." his arms wrapped around your waist

"Please take me home and love me please, I need you .. please" your voice trembled as you spoke.

He closed the shop and you both walked back home in the rain, you were hiding your tears from him but he knew, he knew how shattered you felt in the moment. As soon as you got in your apartment you took his coat off, then his waistcoat followed, your bodies were drenched with rain and all you needed was for him to make you forget about everything else, and you wanted him to make you forget what you were about to do with him.

Your lips moved in unison, the kiss was rough and passionate from your side while he was trying to be as gentle as he could be with you, you felt vulnerable and he didn't want to hurt you further.

"Y/n my y/n ..my darling" he whispered in your ear as he tried to calm you down

"Ssshhhh just fuck me lo..please" you shoved him on the sofa then you got on top of him, you hurriedly unzipped your dress and took it off while he took your panties off. He gasped as you slid down on his cock and started moving up and down slowly. Your moans mixed with his, your wet bodies clung to each other in desperation.

"I'm worried about you love, tell me that you're okay" he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. You are okay but he won't be if he continues to stay here, if he's around you, he'd die just like your parents died.

"I'm okay lo, I love you" you kissed him passionately to distract him, then you didn't stop until you felt him spill inside you, until you cried out his name. You'd never be able to love someone the way you love him, you'd never give yourself to a man the way you did with him.

He kissed you once your breathing calmed down then you got up , picked your dress up, put it back on and went back to your bedroom, leaving him all confused and hurt. He quickly got up and followed you, you were in the bathroom so he sat down on the bed. He wasn't prepared for whatever you were going to say to him next

"You need to leave" he heard you but he didn't want to believe it because it sounded really absurd to him. He was your husband and he's not going to leave you.

"You need to stop whatever notion you are brewing in your head right now" he got up and walked over to you. He grabbed your shoulders and pulled you closer to him. You glared at him as your eyes met

"I know you're hurting darling and I'm here to ease your ache, I can't fix it but I can make it better, don't do this love" he hugged you tightly but you didn't revert the warmth his own embrace held.

"You need to go, it's because of you I'm even stuck in a situation like this, if Steve was alive at least I would have gotten justice for their death, they died for nothing, them, Terry, bruce, they are all suffering because of you" He pulled away as he noticed how upset you sounded. He wasn't going to give up on you.

"You're doing this to hurt me aren't you? You think I don't know how deeply you feel for me, how much you love me, how much you care for me" he tried to kiss you but you pushed him away

"I did, I thought I did but you're not worth going through all this pain, get out of my house and leave me alone" his eyes teared up and he took a step back. The words felt like a sharp knife even though he knew of your real intentions, he'd rather get stabbed again then be without his darling, at least that way you'd be there taking care of him.

You were trying to hurt him but your own words hurt you. The pain stricken broken look on his face made you want to wallow down and beg him to forgive you, you didn't want him to feel responsible for all this but if that would save his life then be it.

"Don't do this darling, we will get rid of him I promise you"

"Oh you promise me Loki? You promise? You have broken all your promises before and I don't have any faith in a man like you" Your words pierced his heart but he won't let your words get to him. For a second he feared Steve had got you but then he looked into your eyes and saw all the love that you held for him. You just wanted him safe

"Get it all out, let me see how mean you can get with me, I am not leaving" he sat down on the bed and you looked at him all perplexed, why won't he just go and save his life.

"You need to go Loki..I'm ..I can't do this okay, the stress is too much for me to bear, I keep thinking about the moment Steve would get me and I'd slice your throat ..that's what you want? More blood on my hand?" You raised your voice and he stood up

"It's not your fault that he.."

"It is my fault okay..if I wasn't so blind and gullible I would have seen through him, if I wouldn't have been so stupid I would have saved my mom and dad ..and if I wasn't such a fool I never would have married you " That was it. That was what he was afraid of hearing from you, he didn't want you to regret him and a part of him knew that you didn't. But Just listening to you telling him that you never would have married him killed him.

You were breaking both of your hearts all over again, but you'd be okay with never seeing him again, never being able to feel the softness of his lips, never getting one more chance to make love to him than have him die right in front of your eyes. Things just started to get better in your marriage and now you were ruining it again.

He kept looking at you and you both just stood there in the bedroom staring at each other, this argument was supposed to end with him packing his bags and leaving you all alone here. That's what you wanted.

But he walked over to you instead, cupped your cheeks in his hands and kissed you fiercely. Then he went to the kitchen and made tea for you like nothing happened. You didn't know whether to pull your hair out in frustration or to shove him out of the house yourself.

"What do you think you're doing?" You followed him with crossed arms and leaned yourself at the kitchen door.

"Making tea for my wife, now are you going to argue whether you're my wife or not?" He asked you calmly, very calmly. His tone held the softest whispers you have ever heard

"Why won't you leave when I want you to leave" you walked over to him and grabbed his arms to turn him around

" You don't want me to leave darling, you need me to leave because you love me more than anything in the whole world, you feel responsible for me, you think if I'd leave Steve won't harm me and I'd be alive. You love me so damn much that you'd kill every little thing that brings you happiness just so I'd be safe. But what is my life without you darling? It would be a living hell, I'd rather perish than give up on you today"

You were shell shocked, why did you think this would even work? Why did you think he'd leave after everything you both have been through? Why don't he understand that you won't be able to handle the loss of another loved one.

"When I had no one you held my hand and you freed me from the curse, don't expect me to run when it's my turn to do the same" he turned around hoping he had knocked some sense into your head but you said next made him furious and angry with you, he didn't think it was possible for him to be so upset with you.

"If you don't leave tonight, I'll kill myself"

💚❤️💚❤️💚💀💀💀💀💚❤️💚❤️💚

Taglist : @annoyingsweetsstranger @alycxx @daddylokisqueen @ddeadlystbbxx @elenaysusneuras @snigdha-14 @loki-s-wife @asgardianprincess1050 @nonsensicalobsessions @chaotics17 @catalina712 @rat-p1ss @dracofxckingluciusmalfoy @dopeqff @babymetaldoll @xorpsbane @jaspearl31 @mcufan72 @michelleleewise @christineblood @howdidurhammergrowchris @sharklover927 @kittycattoys @123forgottherest @soumya-13 @jadep2003 @misswimberly @nixymarvelkins @colifower @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @el-zef @glitterylokislut

#loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #dark #horror romance #loki horror au

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clutterfield · 2 years

Text

GHOST BUSTERS

FratBoys! BTS x Comatose! Reader

Main mlist. Previous Chapter

Synopsis

You get into a freak accident and wake up to your body surrounded by seven crying men. Or your unrequited love doesn’t seem so unrequited after all.

Chapter warnings

Angst, Implied low self esteem, mentioned panic attacks and anxiety, implied emotional neglect by best friends, supporting character short death flashback

Chapter Rating: T (For Teen Audiences and Up)

Chapter 7: The Ghost Witch

A/N. In honor of stopping the spread of Asian hate, and to celebrate the start of Bangtan's entry into being more widely known not only for their music, but also for their civic involvement in all things that matter, I dedicate this chapter to a much newer beginning.

🔮

People say happiness is a choice.

But what if...just what if you try to choose to be happy, try being the word, and yet you can't seem to feel anything but a constricting sort of self imposed rejection?

Or maybe it's just your anxiety killing you.

You've had panic attacks before, and you hated it--it's like being trapped between the chasm of falling down the stairs but you just hang there loosely, never falling until your breaths go back to normal and your brain rewires on its own, only to go back to that same dreadful feeling the next day, over and over and over again.

But anxiety...anxiety is on a whole other level.

It never leaves.

You have never had a therapist before. Unlike Yoongi, you weren't so keen on opening up to your parents when you were a kid (and even now as an adult, you don't delve into serious topics whenever they visited). What could you say?

"Hey, mom and dad. Nice to see you. Did you know that your daughter isn't happy with herself so much she can't stand to look at the mirror some days?"

Highly unlikely.

Besides, in your family, showing mental weaknesses will only get a scoff and some long drawn out double lecture about 'when I was your age, I didn't have that kind of shit to deal with'.

And yet you were tired.

Existing was just tiring sometimes.

"You're thinking too much, mouse. "

You startle at the new voice, eyes shooting to stare at the spectre floating above you, your arms finding their way against the cool sheets of your bedroom.

Or former bedroom?

Well you weren't dead. Not yet anyway.

It was just weird to think about having your two bodies in two places at once.

The comatose one currently at MyeongDong Hospital connected to life support, and you in your ghost form or spirit form or whatever the fuck you were in the Bangtan's residence.

Moon Byul, ethereal in her white kimono and long red hair (a trait that would have had any man, particularly your best friend Yoongi bedding her faster than even Jungkook can run and that boy runs fast).

It had been two days since the seance and Eugene had all but left you to your own devices.

That is, have Byul hang around for awhile until you eventually woke up in your corporeal body.

She did say she was going to be your unofficial ghost guide.

You sigh, turning your head to stare at her pretty face. It was a shame really that she had died so young.

According to her brother, Byul had always been sickly as a young girl, and had long since known when her time was up --it was a trait passed down from the females of Yang to the next generation.

Grim reaper's eyes he had said.

And so one day, while it was storming wildly, Byul just drove out to sea and drowned herself.

It was a pretty morbid way to go.

"Tell me what you're thinking about, mouse. " Byul hovers to the side.

Her voice surrounds you like a siren underwater. Cool and soothing is what she is.

You had never met Byul before until now but you did see pictures of her all over the Yin Yang Quatro.

Eugene doesn't talk about her much, probably hurt over the fact that she chose to die and leave him alone, but with what little you could gather, the briefest tremble in his voice told you a lot about his love for his only blood relative.

"Just...how we're going to go about things tomorrow. " You confess, twirling your hair distractedly.

The ghost hums, floating over to take a good look at your face and you blush. It isn't everyday that a beautiful ghost looks at you like that! Particularly not one who is in league with the Bangtan boys' in terms of being a god send.

She pokes your nose, another habit you've noticed she does while often with you (or as often as the day she nearly gave all seven of your best friends an aneurysm by dashing towards you as if to attack).

"Don't worry, mouse. The ghosts associated with every memory you have in this community are not savage creatures. The only dark entities are the ones beyond the veil where I come from, and I have yet to sense one of them."

The at least for now is unspoken and that's what makes you shudder.

"Oh, you're fading, mouse. " She lightly grumbles, irritated but not at you.

True enough, your fingers become transparent, only to go back to its undisturbed, solid state once Byul touches your hand.

Perhaps that was the thing about having Byul as your spirit.

Eugene had explained that the planes of where you are now were conflicting, hence you were merely limited to a human form for a couple of hours until you would eventually fade away.

It was the limit of Eugene's strange abilities--he can't make people rise from the dead (nor from a coma apparently), but what he can do, is make them visible to their loved ones if the desire of the person was strong enough to sustain one's soul.

Your desperation to come back to your best friends was what helped you over come being stuck in a spirit form.

At least for a good while.

All good things must come to an end, you suppose and by then, only Yoongi for some odd reason was the only one who could get a sense of you.

Maybe because he was the most emphatic out of all of them despite him keeping to himself most of the time.

When he wasn't loving girls and leaving them that is.

"Thank you," you murmur, feeling the after effects of Byul's energy.

"Sleep, mouse." She says, and your lids flutter shut.

🔮

You awake to arguing.

"Stop, don't open those fucking blinds, she might disappear!"

Rolling to your side, the heated whispers cease as a hand caresses your cheek.

"Forgive us, baby. You can sleep more if you're tired, yeah?"

Blinking back the dimness of the room, you hoist yourself up to mild protests, arms coming to encircle your shoulders as you properly take a good look at the people inside your bedroom.

Seven shadows shift awkwardly, one letting go of the curtains just as the dust mites dancing in the light seeping through from your large french windows settle down into nothingness.

Oh.

"Guys? What are you doing here? Don't you have to be at the company?" You question, wondering if they skipped training with the staff.

Your boys were after all the brains behind the KMJP Industries, an affiliate of their adoptive father's huge billion dollar conglomerate even while doing university and you know they were working themselves to the bone recently to produce new tracks for contracted foreign artists and some other related stuff.

It was such bad timing that you got injured and you somehow felt guilty about taking precious time away from them.

From the corner of your eye, you spot a Starbucks bag and can't help but wrinkle your nose at the smell.

"That smells like shit," you blurt, only to shut your mouth at the realization that the boys might have brought you dinner, and you were being relatively ungrateful.

But...could you even eat at this point?

Eyeing the caramel macchiato and bread that Namjoon was slowly pulling out to sniff with furrowed brows, you decide you can't even if you want to.

Because it smells fucking rotten. What the fuck.

Suddenly, Hoseok shouts as Byul glides through the walls, "Mouse, don't eat anything. "

You hide a nervous chuckle as Namjoon nearly drops the bagel and coffee, only for Jimin to catch the entire thing and hand it over to Jin who promptly takes a whiff in mild consternation.

"But...it smells fine?" He mumbles more to himself than you and you look to Eugene's dead sister for explanation.

She flips her hair daintily before taking a hover to her new spot in the corner. "To you it does, human. But to her, it will smell sour and unappetizing, as she is trapped between wakefulness and death, her senses will not work properly. Even I cannot predict what she might feel about random everyday objects. "

Ever the curious pup, you hum with an ask, "What does it smell like to you, Byul?"

She shrugs after a moment and you realize the boys were as curious to know the answer as you were. "Like nothing. I am already dead and everything connected to my past self has left my memories like dust. "

You frown. "Oh, but you still remember Eugene though?"

She smiles at you mysteriously. "My brother is not a part of my past. He is a part of my present and always will be. "

Does that mean--oh. Oh!

You remember Eugene having once told you back when he had to leave you alone to manage Yin Yang Quatro not to worry about intruders as you wouldn't be alone.

You assumed he meant his pet dog Kimchi.

But now you are starting to think otherwise.

So Byul still haunted the place, huh.

It would've creeped you out, but seeing as you're on the way to following her footsteps if you couldn't get back, it was like you weren't even afraid at all.

Byul had this calming effect about her that made your heart serene. If anything, you might just marry Byul in the after life if things didn't work out with the boys.

You think you saw a twitch on the seven men's faces but ignore them entirely in favor of your specter.

She leans forward from her position against the wood, "I scouted the perimeter, and we are going to start with the shelter, if that's alright with you, YN?"

Byul switches topics fast and you can't help but freeze, alerting the boys to your discomfort.

The youngest three immediately gravitate towards you, glaring at Byul.

The shelter?

"What do you mean the shelter?" Hoseok frowns.

You had never worked at any shelter before as far as they know.

You gulp.

Here's the thing.

Although the boys spoiled you for everything, not even letting you pay a dime for groceries, and even giving you an allowance apart from the money your parents sent and your two part time jobs, you had been roped into taking a third not because you needed to but because you wanted to.

"The, um...it's," you exhale loudly, causing all men to shift their concerned gazes to you. "It's a facility for homeless people. "

They sigh in relief. "Oh. That does not seem so bad?" Taehyung hums in light appreciation, though he can't help but wonder if the money they were giving you wasn't enough.

The others seem to think so as Yoongi questions, "Do you...work there?"

Of course they wouldn't know.

They didn't know about Eugene, nor did they know about your apartment.

The only job they were aware of (and of which you had to beg them to let you work in) was at Starbucks.

You shrug. "It's a voluntary kind of thing. "

You try to hide your grimace as Byul raises a well sculpted brow at you (how the fuck does a ghost have perfect eyebrows on?!).

"You didn't tell them?"

They swivel to her and you wince.

"YN?" Jin's no nonsense tone sends you spiralling into a sort of dreaded abyss as sweat breaks out of your chin.

Forcibly closing your eyes, you tip your head back already feeling an oncoming head ache.

"It's a home for prostitutes. I occasionally help out."

You cover your ears at the multitude of angry outbursts, having had already expected it in the first place.

If this is how they would react to that little tidbit in your life, you wonder how you would even go through all of your memories with them, much less talk to ghosts at this rate.

This was troublesome.

FLASHBACK

"What do you mean they have to be the ones to learn everything about her? Can't she learn it herself?" Eugene runs a hand through his handsome face.

"...okay that is an absurd statement, I retract. But! But isn't that an invasion of privacy in your ghost world rules or something, sis?" He gripes, uneasy about the entire thing. Your boss cared about you to that extent.

Byul could only smirk. "If you're worried about her, just think about the results. Those men of hers don't seem to know a thing outside of the life they had created for her inside this house. "

Eugene pauses. "So basically you're telling me that YN has to open up to them so they could collect every fragment shard of her soul that's somehow being absurdly kept by a bunch of your ghost friends in the netherworld? And it has to be those seven assholes?"

"Yes. "

"...Fine. You all heard that?" He glares at the seven men while you merely shrink back behind Eugene, trying your best to avoid all the eyes on you.

At this point, you just wanted the ground to grow a mouth and swallow you whole.

Because you were about to let Bangtan Sonyeondan in on every little secret you had kept from them all these years.

"If only you hadn't been fucking around, this would be a lot easier." Eugene lowly mutters but you hear and you couldn't have agreed more.

If only.

FLASHBACK END

Next chapter

🔮

Chapter Taglist

@potaetopic @yoongiigolden @missseoulite

#bts army #bts fic #bts imagines #bts x reader #polyamory #bts angst with a happy ending #bts fanfic #bts ot7 x reader #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jeongguk x reader #jungkook x reader

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akashigadabi · 11 months

Note

For the fanfiction writing ask meme, how about 1, 4, 5, and/or 8!!

Bear with me I still don’t completely understand how tumblr works

Back to try to do this again 😭 Fuck your Tumblr. I just wanted to answer @leatia25.

Anyway leatia sorry for the delay. I had like five paragraphs written when Tumblr decided to crash and eat my draft. Anyway, this ask is in reference to this post.

1–do I daydream or just go for it? Both! Either/Or! Depends on the fic. Some of them I write to fulfill a prompt. Others circulate in my brain and live there for weeks, pestering me til I write them. Some are born because I’m suddenly struck with inspiration by something. Sometimes I see someone else execute a great idea poorly. Sometimes I get into a new fandom and think “I wanna play here too!” Who knows what’ll trigger the next one? So both! Always both! And more!

4–how do I choose what to write? I don’t! :) I write whatever comes to mind. I’m an enabler at heart even though I try not to be sometimes, and this includes myself. Besides, if I don’t let my creativity and imagination drive the car, they’ll hit me over the head, toss me in the back and drive anyway! And if it’s the choice between two or more ideas, we (me, myself, and I) just write them all! Why choose when you don’t have to? After all, I’m ultimately a chaotic bitch and I dabble a lot anyway.

5– how many wips do I have? Don’t put me on blast like this 🙈 I’m a messy bitch. I have four right now for AFO/Reader, only one of which is posted on site. I have three others on that account, a Tensura one (Rimuru x OC), and some Pokémon Isekai. I have around 20-30 collectively across my other accounts , with some that are abandoned and some just on indefinite hiatus. I won’t spill those though because I’m actually pretty well known in certain fandoms under those names and I went incognito to get away from the pressure. 😂 I have anywhere from 30-50 wips that have never seen the light of day and some never will. These, like the ones posted to my other accounts, are across various fandoms. Like upwards of anywhere between 15-30 fandoms. Can’t list em all.

8–out of context wip huh? You sneaky, cheeky penguin. Fine. But it’ll be safe for church! Mostly. Cause some churches don’t like us non-binary folks existing. But there’s nothing uhhh spicy. It’s actually wholesome, cause I’m capable of both damnit!

You can’t tell whether hearing your voice at all or hearing it in child form startles him more. His head whips around until his red eyes land on your minuscule form. To think those good for nothing Heroes left him wandering alone, barefoot, afraid, and soaked in blood for five whole days. He’d been starving and dehydrated by that point, and in all likelihood would have died from the latter if not for the fact that it rained halfway through his time on the street, soaking him to the bone. You can just imagine him stumbling down a busy city street, cold, shivering, and ignored. It infuriates you to this day to know no one helped him until you and All For One came along.

“The fuck? Ren, why are you a brat?”

“Why does it matter? Aren’t you happy to see me, sweetling?”

He scoffs at the endearment, but wanders over anyway. A blush decorates his cheeks. At sixteen, he happens to be one of those teens who gets embarrassed when his parents act overly affectionate in front of others, including his own siblings and Kurogiri. It was adorable. The frantic scratching at his neck isn’t though.

“Of course I’m happy to see you, Ren. Just—what are you doing here, and why do you look like a rugrat?”

*note that Ren is the neutral equivalent of Mom or Dad and not a name. Which means Tomura just called you/Reader the equivalent of Mom or Dad.

Second sneak peek cause I really am an enabler, huh?

You reach a hand out to ruffle his hair, an action which feels unspeakably odd when in your six year old body. He scowls and ducks away with a groan, but you don’t care. You lean out as far as you can to wrap an arm around his shoulders and press your cheeks together. Aina adjusts for the shift in weight so she doesn’t just drop you outright. Bless her for her thoughtfulness since you may have forgotten a silly little thing like gravity in your haste to embrace your youngest.

“Ren, please. I’m too old for this!”

“You’re never too old for my love, sweetie!~”

Aina trembles with silent laughter, somehow not making a sound. Glancing at Kurogiri, he too appears to be holding back laughter, though it’s harder to tell with his unique facial makeup (or lack thereof) masking his expressions. Tomura grumbles while still allowing the contact. He’s learned by now that no amount of embarrassed protests will stop either you or All For One from showing him affection. Eventually, his curiosity wins out over his desire to pout, and he asks the million yen question.

“So what sort of crime did you commit?”

#ask memes #asks #asked and answered #leatia25 #writers on tumblr

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askatrigenderlgbt · 9 months

Text

This post is gonna get serious. I wanna talk about Tony's death in the MCU and how I was affect by it and my past.

Trigger warning: I'm gonna be talking about PTSD, death, depression, and overall a lot of heavy stuff. If this stuff bothers you, you should skip this post. I have plenty other posts that are more for humor or fanfiction.

Tony's death.

This rocked me to my core. I cried when he spoke his last words and how he ended his arc the way he did. I cried cause the character who brought me into the MCU had left it after all this time. I had cried for the character who had become so important to me, only to cry all over again when Steve decided to leave too. Both goodbyes that were from important parts of my Marvel experience were gone like that.

It was a perfect, tragic, ending for both characters. The pain and loss, to the end of their arcs showing how much they changed.

The thing is though, seeing Tony's death, and Steve's choice to leave, had me mentally and emotionally shut down the first time I watched those scenes. I had been lost unconsciously to the past, back to the moment that still haunts me today.

I have PTSD. And my trauma came from my grandfather passing away when I was four. It was traumatic, loud, messy, and lots of crying from my mother. The only person I had to call 'dad' was simply gone in mere seconds.

He past away in my mother's arms, and from the way my mom can remember he was also coughing blood. His lung cancer finally caught up to him.

When children are exposed to stimulation it is already so much for them, every experience being many things: an inconvenience being the end of the world, a new little fact being a huge joy, every experience is learning how the world is. But in terms of trauma? It's greater damage to the mind as a kid compared to an adult.

I had watched my grandfather pass away, got stuck in the loud chaos, and had been unable to process what just happened. I only knew that he wasn't coming back, and that answer only left me empty.

After this moment things changed a lot for me. It was made worst when my mother had to hospitalized for three days sometime after this event. This was another thing that had sent me into a deep form of hurt. I cried hard at my mother's disappearance. I thought I was being abandoned, left alone in a world I still can't understand today.

I had lost a parental figure in my life, thought I was being abandoned sometime later, and was unable to process anything. I only knew the facts, I couldn't do anything beyond that. Any emotions I should have been feeling wasn't there. I didn't feel anything. It was like I didn't know how anymore, I only could feel apathetic. Like I was shunning away the moment.

It was the start of my mental decline.

Tony became an important character for me as he was the hero who felt real, one I could find myself in the same sort of spot with regarding pain.

Every time I see a character I've grown so attached to die, I remember the first time it ever happened. Then I dissociate to cope with the trauma, emotions disappearing into numbness, and I can't watch anymore.

The pain of watching real tragic deaths or of fiction that I've come so attached to, it sends me into a twisted mess. It also happens with goodbyes. Seeing someone or something for the last time, never seeing them again, also sends me back. The feelings of loss and abandonment causing me to push things or people away.

When Tony died on screen I had been left numb, I had left the theater wanting nothing more than to curled up in a ball on my bed and sleep. Forgetting about the moment I watched him die.

I wouldn't get to fully process my trauma till this year. I wouldn't get to the moment of processing till now.

Tony's death, Steve leaving, and the pain left behind was too much for me to handle. Now though I can say that it was tragic but also a beautiful end to their respective arcs. I can't watch certain parts of the movies again for reasons, but I'm able to watch the movies again as I'm now moving forward. I can watch knowing that this time I can finally watch the series and accept each goodbye that happens. I can allow myself to process the emotions I feel freely, letting them come and simply be.

I write this post as a form of my own little therapy. A way of sharing my story to those who might need it and those who need to hear this:

You are not alone in your grief. You are not alone in your pain. Pain comes to everyone and it varies on the person how they respond to that pain. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, these are common disabilities that are found in a large percentage of people. I used to think nobody would understand, but overtime I realized that pain is universal.

When I began to heal I learned that it's okay to be vulnerable, to be weak. To allow yourself the chance to express the emotions held inside out. Feeling those emotions freely is what helped me move forward, but it may be different for you.

What Marvel has helped me to do is learn that it's okay to be human. We are a mess, but we learn together how to be better. Not everyone is nice, not everyone is mean. We are simply people. As we heal from trauma we see those around us differently, unable to go back to the mindset in the past. We can also see those who have similar mindsets to are own.

In conclusion: Tony's death hurt me and pushed hard at an old scar. The pain came and I allowed it to be. I learned to move forward, and learned from Marvel that all you can do is move forward. Tony's death had left the universe safe, Steve leaves behind a legacy and passed down his shield to Falcon. And I learn to come to terms of what happened years ago now.

I wanted to share this in hopes of those who need it see it. And I hope maybe that you, the person reading, have taken something from this post. A person who understands or possibly a new perspective on something.

I hope that you remember that you deserve to be loved, that you are not alone in pain or grief, and that you are amazing.

#marvel #serious post #discussion #depression #ptsd #anxitey #trauma #tony stark #death #steve rogers

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