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#it's so lonely and i wish there was someone else who knew what it was like to grow up with my parents
fvckmyaesthetic · 1 year
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#can’t sleep. feel sick. feel empty and sad all the time. say i’m lonely and then purposely avoid talking to people#like genuinely. wtf is my problem dude??#i feel so tired and let down by everyone and everything all of the time and it’s like?#shit ain’t even that bad in the grand scheme of things. but I really still just wish I could get a ‘break for once’#why am I so stuck on the ideas of certain people who will never be the way that they were when I actually knew them#and why can’t I just be upfront with people about how I feel. so many ppl think so highly of me for Who Tf Knows Why Honestly#and it’s like. for the love of god please just go find someone else because I Promise you that I’m not going to magically fall in love +#+ with you someday. I have too many fucking problems as it is that I couldn’t even stay with my lady gf for more than a few months#why can’t I just get my shut together Jesus is it really that hard??#if I’m tired and sad then why do I stay up? why wouldn’t I just go to sleep. all I’m doing by staying awake is making myself feel WORSE#and I already feel bad enough as it is. everyone is moving forward with their lives and I’m just sitting here#No fucking clue what I’m doing. no one to talk to. i swear all I want is a good hug sometimes and I can’t even fucking get that#how hard is it to just ask someone for a hug and I can’t do even that??#please tell me I figure my shit out soon and learn to talk to other people because I’m so tired of forcing myself to be so alone all th#e time. i spend so much time awake at night and for what? so I can just make myself feel sad and lonely and anxious?#yeah well I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being awake and alone and not having anyone to talk to because I push everyone away
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ellecdc · 2 months
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Mother, i had a request but i forgot what it was 😭😭 i was sooo excited tooo 😫
But in trying to remember i had another brilliant idea!!
Reader x Reggie where theyre both stoic, slightly volatile 🐍 but theyre actually really soft and mushy. And then SURPRISE!! Theyre actually also dating Remus who takes care of them and is super protective. Maybe its revealed near the full moon and possessive Moony makes an appearance.
Siri is flabberghasted; Barty is horrified his darling sweethearts are be defiled; James is shook; and Lily is yhe ultimate bro and super proud of Rem.
Anyway, im sorry your computer was so mean to you. I hope you're looking after yourself 🩵🩵
......this is going to go down in history as my most controversial post........😈 may I present to you.....poly!MoonWater 😈😈😈😈😈
poly!moonwater x fem stoic!reader (i.e., Remus Lupin x Regulus Black x reader)
Sirius Black was admittedly currently going through a hard time.
Now, depending on who you asked, one (literally everyone and anyone) might say it was his own fault.
But if you asked Sirius Black? It was everyone else and their insufferable happiness that was to blame.
His insufferable best-friend-that-anyone-could-ever-ask-for finally landed the woman of his dreams and said woman of previously mentioned best friend was horribly in love with the sod.
Even his baby brother was happy! Which seemed like an oxymoron because in looking at Regulus Arcturus Black, one would assume that boy had never known a single moment of happiness in his life.
If one took into account their childhoods, they’d be right.
But Regulus Black, who was quiet in a way that made you feel like you were always being judged and ridiculed (you were) who very rarely had a kind thing to say about anyone had found happiness (read: a girl) who, for all intents and purposes, could be his personality doppelganger.
One difference, however, was that you were quiet in a way that always had one feeling like you knew too much, saw too much, and you were far too perceptive for anyone’s good. You always seemed to be analyzing the people around you and Sirius, sue him, found that incredibly disconcerting. 
He did not wish to be known, thank you very much. 
And even Moony! Moony, the bastard, was seeing someone! Fucked if Sirius knew who though because the sod wouldn't tell anyone who they were. He just kept popping back to the dorm room covered in hickies and looking far too pleased with himself whilst offering no details.
He was even spending entire nights away from the dorm, and always made sure he had the sodding map with him so they couldn’t even see where he was.
So yeah, Sirius was pissed.
And before you ask – no, it’s not because he was lonely – in fact, he had frequent visitors in his bed thank you very much.  And NO, he didn’t want to discuss the fact that perhaps if he didn’t run at the first sign of commitment or emotional intimacy, he too would have happiness. 
Perhaps he just wanted everyone else to be slightly less happy for his own sake.
Did no one ever think about Sirius Black?
Give right now for example. He and Regulus had been...hanging out (if that’s what you could call the two of them sitting together not speaking as they each did their own homework) since Sirius insisted it was important to do so, especially since Sirius no longer lived at home meaning that their usual means of brotherly bonding (read: trauma) no longer took place. 
And then James showed up (he was so lucky Sirius loved him) who was but of course accompanied by Lily Evans (she was so lucky she’s as lovely as she is) which turned into a small James Potter roast on account of Regulus and Lily both having years’ worth of material from hating him up until recently, and Sirius had loads of material on account of him being a certified hater. 
And then Moony showed up, and if Sirius didn’t know any better, he had definitely been fooling around mere moments ago.
But Sirius did know better.
“Moony, what broom closet did you just crawl out of and where’s the poor soul that was stuck in there with you?” He spat.
Remus merely chuckled and pulled a book out of his bag, making himself comfortable in one of the library’s grandfather chairs. “No one was stuck anywhere with me.”
“No, I’m sure they were a very willing participant.” Regulus drawled, looking particularly bored for all intents and purposes, never bothering to lift his gaze from his book.
“No need to be jealous, baby Black. You’re more than welcome to join me in such broom closets.” Remus joked with a wink.
“Oi!” Sirius swatted at Remus on behalf of his brother (he’s welcome). “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, and he’s taken thank you very much.”
“Merlin knows how,” James muttered none too quietly, “it’s not like he’s very approachable.”
Regulus lifted a lazy eyebrow as he looked at James from above the pages of his book. “I’ll have you know I’m very approachable to those I wish to be approached by.”
“Hi Reggie!” 
“Get fucked.” Regulus called back to Barty Crouch Junior, hardly sparing his best friend a glance as he approached him from behind. 
“Wow, Reggie’s in a good mood today, huh?” Barty said as he sat on one arm of Regulus’ chair, causing James to laugh until he realized that Barty wasn’t joking.
Suddenly another body showed up and gently sat on the other arm of Regulus’ chair.
Sirius watched as Regulus’ impassive face completely cleared of all contempt and he looked up at you with pure and unadulterated adoration.
It made Sirius sick. 
“Bonjour, mon cheri.” He murmured softly, in complete contrast to the harsh, militarized way he had previously been spitting at everyone else. 
You smiled gently at the boy as you pulled a notebook out of your book bag and produced a small, pressed flower, handing it to Regulus between your thumb and forefinger.
Regulus looked at it like you had just presented him with a hundred-year-old bottle of fire-whiskey.
“Did you pick this for me?” He asked gently, plucking the flower from your fingers with matching delicacy.
You offered him a quiet ‘mhm’ and Sirius noticed a shy smile grace your lips. Regulus’ eyes moved from the flower to your face, and he gazed at you like you had hung the moon.
“Merci, mon amour.” He said reverently and pressed a kiss to your cheek.
Lily looked at the two of you with a smile one might see on the face of a proud mother, James looked at the two of you like he was seeing a bowtruckle for the first time, and Remus looked oddly taken with the show of affection. Barty was apparently the only other sane one amongst them – oh gods, maybe Sirius really was losing it.
“Where the fuck has this Regulus been the last six years?” Barty muttered incredulously. 
Without much effort on your part, you reached over Regulus’ shoulder and shoved Barty off the arm of the chair and onto the floor before sliding to sit directly in Regulus’ lap.
“You...alright, Crouch?” James called tentatively from his place on the other side of the couple. 
“Oh, I’m fine. That’s just how she shows her love.” Barty said as he bounced back up, completely unperturbed. 
“Is it now?” Sirius asked, tone dripping with sarcasm. Remus swatted Sirius’ leg with his book.
“What?” Sirius squawked.
“Be nice.” He chided.
“I am nice! And why do you care?” Sirius argued, though he never got an answer. 
“I think they’re cute.” Lily announced, sending a sly smirk towards Remus.
“See? Lily gets it.” Remus said with a shrug as he went back to his book.
Sirius hated every single one of them.
But if Sirius thought that had been rough, he had no idea what was in store for him today. 
Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and... Lily had all been sitting at the Gryffindor table during dinner when Sirius noticed you rushing into the Great Hall looking rather frazzled.
“Whoa, what’s going on with Y/N?” Peter asked, apparently having noticed you at the same time as Sirius.
The conversation stopped abruptly as Remus’ head snapped towards the entrance, seemingly on high alert upon hearing of your arrival.
Sirius watched as you scanned the Hall before your eyes fell on their group. Your face crumpled in misery, and you rushed over. You were usually so polished and poised, any and all emotions locked away behind a well-fitted mask, no wonder you and Regulus got along so well.
Regulus...something must have happened to Regulus. Sirius had a dreadful feeling settle in the pit of his stomach; what could have happened to make you rush up to him looking that alarmed?
Except...you breezed right past him.
“What’s wrong, lovebug?” Remus cooed quietly, causing Sirius to choke on his own spit.
“He was hurt during practice.” You cried quietly, voice no more than a whisper as you moved to step between Remus’ spread legs where he had rotated on the bench to face you. His hands landed on the back of your thighs were his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your tight clad legs.
“Okay. How hurt?” Remus asked just as quietly, ignoring the sputtering happening from James, the chuckling from Lily, and the horrified expression painting Sirius’ face.
“Dislocated shoulder.” You cried miserably, as if you’d just been told Regulus was damned to spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state.
Remus’s mouth looked like it was fighting really hard to smile as his eyes pooled with equal parts fondness, worry (for you or Regulus, Sirius wasn’t sure at this moment), and no shortage of love.
What the fuck was going on right now!? 
“What the fuck is going on right now!?” Sirius demanded, his outside voice echoing the one inside of his head.
You startled a little at his exclamation, leaning closer into Remus who increased his embrace around you. 
“What’s happening dear padfoot, is it appears your brother has been injured during quidditch practice. Perhaps you ought to go see how he is?” Remus taunted as he continued running soothing hands over your body.
“Yeah, yeah; the sky is blue, and people get hurt in quidditch. Now what is this!?” He screeched gesturing wildly at the two of you. 
You looked equal parts embarrassed from the attention and equal parts wanting to tell Sirius off for downplaying what you clearly thought was some great upheaval in Regulus’ life when Lily spoke up.
“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, Pads.”
His mouth dropped open as he turned to regard his best friend’s girlfriend with a look of pure betrayal.
“Et tu, Lily!?” Sirius cried as James sputtered, “you knew!?”
Remus just smiled as he shoved his nose into your collarbone. You brought up a hand to begin scratching at his scalp, and Sirius was certain the sods leg would be thumping in contentment if he were a dog.
“Let’s go, Sirius.” Remus finally muttered, interrupting an argument that was going nowhere between James, Lily, and Sirius. “You’ve got a brother in the hospital wing.”
You hurried on ahead of them, clearly not interested in the talk the two friends were about to have.
“So, are you fucking my brother too or just fucking him over by screwing his girl?” Sirius finally spat with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest. 
Remus groaned and looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength to get through this conversation with Sirius Drama Queen Black. “Sirius, can you ask me a question that’s less likely to get me punched in the face?”
“No.” Sirius muttered. 
“He’s happy, Sirius. I promise.” Remus pressed. “He...he really deserves all the love he’s getting.”
And Sirius would have been an absolute arse if he’d had anything to say in response to that...
Don’t get him wrong, Sirius was an arse and did have many things to say in response to that, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when they walked into the hospital wing to see you sitting on the end of Regulus’ hospital bed.
Regulus, save the sling holding his arm to his chest and the fact that he was sitting in a hospital bed, looked as casual as Sirius ever remembered seeing him, smiling at you with...
Love.
A lot of love. 
“I’m fine, amour, I promise.” They heard him plead with you as they approached.
“Still have all your limbs, I see.” Remus commented as he walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Regulus’ hair, causing the youngest Black to blush something fierce as he looked over at Sirius. 
“I’m sure she told you I was comatose.” He commented quietly, turning and offering you a wink.
“Don’t tease me...” You moaned, looking very much like you still wanted to fold Regulus up and put him in your pocket for safe keeping.
“Yeah, don’t tease her, love. You’d be sitting in this hospital bed all on your lonesome with no one you dote on you otherwise.” Remus jokingly chided. 
“Love.” Sirius groaned with a dramatized gag. 
“Oh, grow up, Siri.” Regulus barked.
Sirius’ head snapped over to his brother at the sound of his childhood nickname. Regulus’ cheeks were still dusted pink, whether it be at the unplanned outing of his relationship, being hurt, or the gravity of this moment.
Regulus hadn’t called him that since they were children...like, real children before the trauma, the alienation, the disinheritance, the running away...
Perhaps because Regulus had spent all of that time living in unmeasurable pain. Just like Sirius had.
And maybe, now...Regulus had people who made him feel brave enough to be vulnerable like this, to reconnect in ways he long thought impossible. 
Fuck Moony and his good naturedness; Sirius hated that Remus was right about this. 
“Oh, fucking Godric.” Sirius muttered petulantly as he pulled Regulus into a bone crushing hug.
Literally.
“Sirius!” Regulus groaned before Sirius was ripped away from his brother. Sirius expected Remus to be the one throwing him to the floor for inadvertently hurting Regulus’ injury...but it was you. 
“You idiot.” You hissed as new tears formed in your eyes, immediately moving to grab the ice pack from the bedside table and gently placing it on Regulus’ shoulder.
Remus and Regulus looked at you with so much adoration, Sirius was certain hearts were going to start pouring out of their eyes and floating around their heads.
“I’m fine, thanks!” He called out as he hauled himself up off the floor. 
“Oh good.” You said sarcastically.
“I don’t like this.” Sirius grumbled, causing all three faces to turn to him.
“Pads...”
“Sirius, please.” Regulus implored.  
“What if you break his heart?” He asked no one in particular. “What if you hurt my baby brother? Who am I supposed to support then? Or you; what am I supposed to do if you hurt my best friend? And what if you tossers hurt Y/N!”
The three of you shared a look before his brother turned to him. “Sirius, if we breakup, I give you permission to side with Remus.”
“And if we break up, I promise you can side with Y/N.” Remus added.
“Nope.” You said quickly, “that’s fine, I don’t need to be included in this.”
Sirius groaned out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank gods. Okay, okay. I guess I'll allow it then....”
“THE THREE OF YOU ARE WHAT!?” Barty screeched as he stood at the door of the infirmary, still in his quidditch kit.
“Do we actually have to have this conversation again?” You groaned quietly.
Remus shot Regulus and extremely guilty look as he slowly stood.
“Remus.” Regulus warned.
Remus grimaced and slowly made his way over to you.
“Remus John Lupin, I swear to Salazar...”
“Regulus, I love you; I do. But...he’s you’re friend an- NOW DOVE” He shouted, and the two of you took off in a sprint out of the infirmary. 
“Quite the catch you’ve got yourself there Regs.” Sirius taunted. 
“Sod off.” Regulus muttered as Barty made his way over to his bedside.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Sirius jeered as he, too, took off out of the infirmary, leaving Regulus Black to deal with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior on his own.  
don't hate me
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aneveningsword · 5 months
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𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 '𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'
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pairing: Spencer Reid x gn! reader warnings: not proofread words: 832 summary: 3 different ways Spencer shows he loves you
masterlist
one Spencer often went away for long periods of time, it came with having a job at the BAU. Despite missing him and disliking how quiet your home becomes, you knew what you were getting into. You would never stop him from going on a case, no matter how little time you get to spend with him in between.
The longing for your partner was not onesided. There were times Spencer hated to be away for so long, to come home for a few days before leaving you again. He disliked how lonely he felt at night, the bed in the hotel felt too large without someone else there.
It's why he was out and about in whatever city he was in at the time. He would send you photos of things that remind him of you. Maybe some blooming flowers out front of a store. A dog that vaguely looks like you. A couple of birds sitting on a branch together.
Sometimes they would be accompanied by messages. 'thinking of you'. 'doesn't it kinda look like you?'. 'did you know these birds mate for life'. Just small facts or messages that always bring a smile to your face.
It helped ease the loneliness when he was away, knowing he was thinking of you just as much as you were thinking of him.
two While you weren't as much of a book addict as Spencer, you enjoyed reading. You often asked the man to recommend one for you to read. It always brought a smile to his face as he rambled on about the plot and characters, ensuring he did not give anything away. You read at a much more leisurely pace than your partner who could read large chapter books like it was a small letter.
Sometimes you were a bit jealous of his ability to read so fast, not wishing to wade through a large part of the text before getting to the exciting part. But you could not help but enjoy curling up in a chair with a cup of tea and a good book.
Persuasion by Jane Austen was the book you were currently reading, being recommended after expressing a desire for a romance book. But as you read you began to notice small annotations hastily scribbled in Spencer's handwriting. Somewhere about the characters or the thoughts on the themes. But some were drawing parallels to your relationship.
The more you read the less the annotations became about the book and more about your relationship. You found it endearing, more reading the book to get to the next annotation than the next chapter. A stupid love-sick smile graced your face as your eyes skimmed over the writing squeezed in between paragraphs.
The sound of footsteps graced your ears as you quickly began finishing the page you were on. "Enjoying the book?" Spencer's voice rang out, wanting to ensure his recommendation was right. Glazing up at him from the book your smile only grew. "Yes, I am. But I find myself liking the annotations better."
It took a moment for Spencer to understand before the tip of his ears flushed red as well as his cheeks. His eyes flicked downwards as he grappled with what to say. Deciding to give him a break you speak again. "I find them very cute. Shows how much you love me."
three It wasn't often that Spencer had time to sleep in, not getting up at the crack of dawn to get an early start on his work. So, you wanted to do something sweet for him, and what was better than breakfast in bed? What you didn't account for was him waking up before you were finished.
Humming a tune to yourself, you failed to hear the patter of sock-clad feet on the floor. Too busy making sure you didn't overcook the eggs in the frying pan. When two lanky arms wrapped around your middle, it caused a squeak of surprise to be pulled from you. The spatula in your hand dropped onto the counter in surprise.
Soft, muffled laughter filled the room, a mop of brown curls invading your vision as Spencer buried his face into your shoulder. A small huff leaves you, realising your surprise is ruined. "You're meant to be asleep." You whined though a small smile played on your lips, enjoying the sleepy back hug you were receiving.
"Sorry, darling. I just missed you in bed." His voice was rough with sleep, clearly having only woken up moments ago to an empty bed and set out to find you. Reaching one hand up you ran your fingers through his messy hair pulling a small hum of pleasure from him.
"Why don't you go back to bed? I'll bring breakfast and we can spend the morning there?" You offer softly, it takes a moment before you feel a soft nod. Spencer untangling himself from you before trudging off to bed once more, a small lovesick smile on his face.
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star-ocean-peahen · 4 months
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The more you think about Jason Grace's life, the more fucked up it gets.
Like, the whole "joined Camp Jupiter as a three year old" thing. We already know Camp Jupiter is fucked up because it places heavy importance on a child army, despite having plenty of demigod adults at hand, but they straight up recruited a three year old into the military. He showed up and got promptly stuck in a barrack for the rest of his childhood.
Like, why?? Why on earth would they do that instead of giving him to someone in New Rome to raise and inducting him into the legion at a respectable twelve??
And who raised him anyway?? A rotating cast of nineteen-year-old demigods?? His bunkmates in the Fifth?? If he was a young teenager I could see that, but he arrived when he was three, was he even potty-trained??? Did he just grow up being educated by bored teenagers and ghosts, watching as demigods arrived and served and retired, being told that he had to be the greatest of them all?? Did he have any other children to grow up with?? Did the legion even consider him different than the other recruits, or did he have to shovel unicorn dung when he forgot his phonics and live with the constant threat of perhaps being sewn into a bag of weasels??
I find it odd that Jason, as a demigod who grew up in a demigod's world, doesn't have his unique perspective explored more. I find it especially odd that the difference between his childhood and everyone else's is ignored. However difficult and varied everyone else's backgrounds are, they've at least attended a school. They had parents, and family, and a home, at least at one point. They had mortal toys and dwellings and communities that weren't merged inextricably with the myths. They knew where they came from. Do you think Jason, with his powerful, kingly father and impending destiny, ever felt like he didn't know who his family was?
I also find it strange that he doesn't seem to have a very wide network of friends from Camp Jupiter? He has Reyna, who he trusts and works with and depends on. He lists Hazel and Frank among his friends, but they look up to him as a role model. He mentions Bobby and Dakota familiarly, but never again. He's familiar and on good terms with basically everyone—but the only person he seems to consider as a close friend is Reyna. And that wouldn't be odd if he hadn't grown up at Camp Jupiter. He doesn't seem to have any constant companion—anyone he considers his family until he meets Leo.
Maybe he and Leo bonded so well because they both knew what it was like to grow up transiently. To have any constant in your life, and know that the day you would move on or they would move on was fast approaching. Maybe the reason he looked at Camp Half-Blood and admired how united and familial they seemed, and wished Camp Jupiter could be similar, was that he could see in them the family he wished he had.
Honestly, I feel like meeting Thalia should have left him in a lot more turmoil than it did. He grew up with no family but a god for a father, and here's a person who wanted him. Someone who always wanted him because he was Jason, and not the demigod son of Zeus. Maybe even someone to whom he mattered more than his destiny.
I really, really wish we'd gotten to see more of the contrasts between him and Percy. He is explicitly the Romans' version of the hero Percy is, except he's the hero first, and the person second. Jason did everything right! He did everything perfectly, and Percy still got where he did without being trained for it his entire childhood. He's got such a better reason to resent him than "bad vibes". They could have been foils for each other hhhhhhhrngh.
Just. This lonely, idolized, child soldier's life hurts me.
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scarletttries · 20 days
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What One Piece Characters Are Like In A Relationship...(Part Two)
Request: "Greetings, could I ask for headcanons of what Buggy the Clown and Dracule Mihawk are like in a relationship?"
Pairings: Buggy x Reader, Mihawk x Reader, Shanks x Reader
Part One (The Straw Hats) here / One Piece Masterlist
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Buggy the Clown:
- It's impossible to overestimate the sheer vulnerability it took for Captain Buggy to speak genuinely and honestly when he finally confessed his feelings for you. A man who's spent so much of his life hidden behind a painted facade and a wicked smile, he tried to fight his truth for so long, forcing himself to treat you like just another pirate on his ship when there's nothing you could do that wouldn't stand out to him. The sincerity with which you speak to him, the way you don't gawk at his appearance, the fact that you never engage in the mutinous whispers of those around you. It wasn't long until you became his most called upon ally on the ship, through genuine appreciation for your insights but also his intense need to have his eyes on you at all times.
- With his feelings out in the open, Buggy is still conflicted in the way he showers his affections upon you. Behind closed doors the man is your personal jester, cracking jokes and using his gifts to keep you smiling and entertained constantly. Honestly that man would do anything to keep you looking at him, the warmth of your gaze enough to undo decades of cruelty and ridicule.
- Around the crew though, your captain likes to keep his adoration discrete. There are a lot of people out there that would love to have something they could use against him, and he knows deep down he'd surrender everything he's ever worked for if it stopped a single hair on your head being harmed. So despite how Buggy feels like he is bursting at the seams with joy every time he sees you, he insists on keeping things a secret for as long as the two of you can, lasting on longing looks and subtle contact for the price of your safety.
- That does add a certain desperation to the clown's behaviour towards you though, not that you mind. The moment you close a door he'll be on with you in a flash, all hungry lips and pressing his chest flush with yours to bathe in your warmth while he still can. He needs you overwhelming all of his senses, to fill his heart back up before he has to face the day without you again. Sometimes when he knows you'll be apart for a while, he'll tell the crew he's lost a hand somewhere on the ship so he can leave one tucked securely in your pocket, subtly interlacing his fingers with yours whenever the day gets to be too much; the powers he once feared made him a devil, now giving him the chance to stay by an angel's side forevermore.
Dracule Mihawk:
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- A life as the world's greatest swordsman can be a lonely one. Going wherever he's paid to go. Never putting down roots. Knowing that one day he might just find someone desperate enough for his title to kill for it. Mihawk had accepted this life with a certain pride, until he found something else he wanted to be the best at.
- Another night in another island bar had his path crossing with yours, the briefest of exchanges leaving an aching hole in his chest like he'd never experienced before. It was like your smile sent a spark his way that had his whole body going up in smoke, a fire lit inside him that he had only felt once before; for his pursuit of swordsmanship. He knew nothing would quell that desire except giving in fully to the devotion.
- Dracule is extremely attentive to your every whim. He's never really been tied down before he enjoys the grounding that comes from having someone else to influence each of his days. Nothing fulfils him like making one of your wishes come true, his dedication to your partnership unwavering no matter what the world throws at you both.
- He would take enormous pride in teaching you a few of his sword-fighting moves, framing the sessions as just a way to share in his two favourite things (swords and you), but in the back of his mind also very conscious that a time may come when you need to defend yourself from his enemies. Naturally he'll find a way throw your practice fights so the two of you end up on the floor together, his sword cast aside as he exclaims that you are the only person in all the seas that has ever disarmed him so. Don't be expecting to leave that floor for a while once he has you in his grips.
Shanks:
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- When you work in a popular port town you see a lot of pirates come and go. So it's pretty noticeable when a certain captain seems to do all his supply runs in your specific shop. Shanks is not at all subtle that he's continually coming to town for you, your first conversation enough for him to reveal that you might be the only person he's ever met that could convince him to give up the pirate life and settle down.
- You don't ask him to do that, instead the two of you settle for frequently being apart, but relishing in every second you get to spend together when you can. Every moment that Shanks is in your life is filled with fun, whether he's just dancing with you in your lovely little home, or convincing you to come with him on this next adventure, heading to a beautiful island where for once he's confident there's no risk of danger to you.
- When you have to be apart, Shanks will call you late in the night, narrating the view from his perch on the figurehead of his ship. He'll describe every detail of the stars glistening on the waves until the peachy rays of the sun trickle across the horizon, all while knowing the far superior view is wherever you are. He'll never reveal the true danger of his journeys to you, instead giving you joyful reimaginations of the troubles he's faced that day. You can tell when he's had a hard week from the pain in his voice though, so you take the chance to regale him with the softness of your peaceful day, recounting your every step and listening to his breathing slow as a weight lifts off his chest. He tells you how one day he can't wait to dock his ship one final time and fall in step with the life you've built, never having to hear your voice from so far away again.
- He lets that hope carry him through the most tempestuous nights at sea, through all the near misses at the hands of his enemies, through every day spent hiding from a bounty hunter and aching to hear your voice again. He finds himself picturing the two of you raising a family, a tiny crew of your own that will always unite you, the ultimate adventure Shanks can imagine, and one he never thought he'd long for until he thought about living it hand in hand with you.
One piece requests still open!
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lycheedr3ams · 8 months
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Okay. I just had to tell you that the emotionally unavailable König piece stays on my mf*ing mind. I don't know how but you managed to stir a dragon or corrupt me, I don't know, I need therapy I know but I feel so addicted to that drabble. I've read it over and over again.
Like, the little details how he treats you purely professionally when you're not fucking, how he wraps himself with that condom every single time and doesn't even feel bothered, how he chooses solitude (or someone else who knows) over you whenever he wants, how he doesn't seem to even feel much of anything besides the occasional lust?! It's DEVASTATING and I'm frothing at the mouth. I need help haha
Oh and even the pic at the top, that lonely ethereal unseen message "I dream about kissing you often". Wtf dude. Jesus Christ.
Brilliant. I'm just. Out of words. That drabble is art, thank you for sharing ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️ (Also please wish me a speedy recovery)
i think you have just melted my heart❤️❤️❤️
it is a huge compliment for me when people say they reread my fics. this ask has given me inspiration to do a drabble of the situation from könig's perspective.
warning: this may break your heart too...
part 2 of Relapse
part 3
TW: mentions of NSFW below the cut, self-hatred, könig being kinda toxic, brief brief mention of self harm, mentions of canon-typical violence, obsessive!könig, MDNI and just block me atp
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the moment könig laid eyes on you, the task force's incredibly skilled - and beautiful - sniper, he hated you. or rather, he hated how much he was obsessed with you. he wasn't stupid; he knew how all the men on base would stare at you, the way they'd talk about you as you walked by, not even realizing how good your ass and hips looked in your uniform cargo pants. but unlike most guys on base, he saw more than just your curves and feminine charm: he saw a soldier who gave her all to get to where she was, a soldier who dedicated her entire being to her profession and was damn good at it.
unlike him, you never so much as moved a muscle when you lay prone with your sniper rifle. you never fumbled while you reloaded or looked around anxiously, fiddling with a knife so your hands never felt empty. you interacted with others with ease, never seeming to second-guess your words or demeanor. you were the best shot on the task force (don't tell ghost, though), you had the best concentration, and you were irreplaceable. sure, könig was irreplaceable too: no one had his aura, his physical prowess, or his intensity that made enemies flee the moment he saw them. but to könig, that didn't matter: you were everything he could never be.
he knew - thought - that he had no chance with you. you were secretly desired by almost every man on base, so why would you choose him? the jittery and intense newest addition who was just a little too tall, who fidgeted a little too much, and whose accent, he thought, was a little too thick to be alluring. but he also just hated you. hated to see a little woman like yourself literally living his dream of being a sniper. he was usually assigned to guard you when you lay prone while sniping on a mission, and when könig was sure you weren't paying attention, he would glare angrily at you, staring daggers into the back of your head. his eyes would lazily take in your body, but not in a lustful way. könig hated how still you could lay, how you could just concentrate simply on what was through your scope rather than what was in your mind.
but könig couldn't deny the part of himself that just simply wanted to take you. despite how much he hated your skill, he couldn't deny your soft curves, your pretty smile, or how you always wore your favorite perfume when off duty. many nights when könig lay alone in his room on base, he would furiously jerk off the thought of you while clenching his teeth in self-hate, absolutely disgusted with himself for desiring the person who was everything he could never be. könig also hated the way he would come so hard to the thought of forcing you on your knees, making you take all of his throbbing cock in your mouth, fucking into your throat roughly, punishing you for being the soldier he could never be. he loved to imagine the tears that would spring in your eyes at the burn of his thick cock stretching your throat. but worst of all, könig hated himself for wanting to ruin such a pretty little thing like you.
that was, until you began talking to him. the first time you approached könig, you said you were curious about his knives. he froze, thankful that his sniper hood hid his almost blushing cheeks and agape mouth. but könig couldn't help the excitement of your question. someone was interested in something he liked? with quiet, jittery movements, he quickly took out one of his favorite knives from a pants pocket and shoved it almost right in your hands, talking about it wildly in german before you looked up at him with a confused smile. he blushed under his hood and began to speak calmly and quietly in english about his favorite knife that you now held in your small, soft hands. even when you handed the knife back to him after learning all about it, the warmth from your skin lingered on its cold hilt. könig's eyes widened slightly when he felt just how warm it was, and he couldn't help but wonder what other parts of your body were just as warm, or even warmer.
könig began to grow more and more at ease the more you approached him. the night that your conversation ended up with you naked on his bed, he truly thought he was living a dream. the way your soft, feminine curves lay on his bed in his room, how you looked like an absolute goddess surrounded by his knives and guns lying around, was mesmerizing to him. his hatred of you be damned, könig needed you. so he took you just like you wanted and craved.
but even though you had willingly spread your soft, wet folds for him, könig could never bring himself to voice his desires for you. so the next time he saw you in the hallway, his eyes widened as he slowly approached your form, unaware that he was behind you. könig tried to open his mouth to say something - anything - but his mouth went dry and his throat tightened. so instead, he decided to gently cup your waist as you walked past, and went right towards his room. you smiled to yourself and followed him. könig was grateful that no words were needed between you two.
but despite how much he loved being able to be so close to you, to touch you, to be inside you, he could never allow himself to get too close. könig would've rather slit his own wrist than kiss your glossy, warm lips. you were a succubus, he was convinced. if his lips touched yours, he would have been yours forever. and that was something he could not have, no, not with how his hatred for you still lingered in the back of his mind. but the way you'd look sad about his lips never touching yours would make his heart twitch, just a little. some nights könig was so desperate to feel your skin on his tongue that he would gently lick your neck or your breasts, just to get a taste. but könig was used to living without the things he wanted.
there were many nights when könig was too deep within his darkness to reach out to you. he couldn't bring you down into his self-loathing spiral, or show you his weaknesses. on the nights he walked by you without even acknowledging your existence, he simply couldn't bring himself to look at you. if he did, he knew he would budge instantly and gently touch your waist once again so he could take solace in your warm, soft walls. but no, he would rather drown himself in the abyss of his heart than bring you down with him. you had things to live for: friends, family, incredible skill. but könig only had his guns, knives, and a large hand to wrap around his aching length. he never slept with another woman on base. but you were not to know that.
even more so, könig took to the box of condoms like a lifeline. if he kissed you, you'd have his soul. but if he allowed his cock to be fully surrounded by your warm, wet walls? no, no. you would've tied him to you for eternity. that was something that könig could not have, no matter how much he wanted it. he always made sure that condom was on perfectly, making sure that not a single inch of the skin of his cock ever completely touched your walls. even when he would tease the tip of his cock on your clit, there was a layer of thin plastic separating you. (he just loved the way you would gasp and blush when he did that). könig would never allow himself to truly take absolute pleasure in you, no matter how badly he just wanted to fill your womb entirely with him when your legs were pried open perfectly against his broad shoulders, with his sweaty forehead pressing into the mattress.
but as your relationship - if it could be called that - went on, könig realized that he never hated you. he only hated himself for never being able to be the person he wanted to be. you were everything, and he was nothing. you were caring, friendly, warm. but he saw himself as distant, cold, and aloof. sunshine could never reach the deepest, darkest caves under the earth, he thought. what could könig even say to you now, after you two had been with each other time and time again? what could he possibly say to the woman who unknowingly ripped apart old wounds he thought he had stitched? what could he say to the woman who achieved everything he could not? what could he say to the only woman who had ever shown him kindness, the only woman to have ever let him touch her, hold her, fuck her? so, könig opted to only ever say things to you that were necessary to work with you. he could never treat you poorly, not after the way you unknowingly healed the very wounds you created for him, not after the way you welcomed him into your body like he was an extension of yourself.
it was easier for könig to pretend that you weren't somewhat emotionally dependent on him. he could never pluck the flower whose roots were shallow. he was a monster enough as it is, but to just trample and rip up an innocent and beautiful thing? even he couldn't bring himself to do that. so, könig tried to water you in the only way he knew how, but he guarded his life-giving waters from your fertile womb, and only ever teased you with the nutrients you needed. it was enough to make you come back for more whenever he asked for it, but he couldn't allow himself to take advantage of you, too much. könig wanted to see you grow and blossom, not to be the one to dry you out and wither you.
so könig chose to edge you with his affection whenever he chose, and hoped that you would understand. he hoped that you wouldn't grow tired of the balm he offered you on the nights that he was able to crawl out of himself; the balm that was covered in blood and semen and tears.
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Villain who actually used to be sinister and obnoxious is now an AMNESIAC lil softie😩😩😩
For whatever reason, the villain blocked the hero's hit perfectly. Not only that, but when the hero went in for a kick, the villain managed to throw them off balance. Before the hero could fall to the ground, the villain caught them, arm around the hero's waist, pulling them closer than decency allowed.
The villain's eyes widened and a gasp escaped them. Despite the hero's blush, they tried to look grumpy and annoyed - as so often - but the villain could tell it was just for show. What a night. They were exhausted and confused.
"Sorry," the villain whispered. "I almost hit you."
They pulled themselves up and with them the hero.
"No, it's fine, it's good." As soon as possible, the hero took a step back and the villain still felt the warmth of their waist on their fingertips. Was it possible to yearn for someone they had forgotten? Or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe they hadn't forgotten the hero at all. They remembered parts of them, not the whole picture but the most beautiful pieces, it seemed.
"I'm sorry if I-"
"Your muscle memory seems to be pretty good. I think you learnt how to fight at a very young age. Which is...sad." The hero looked at them and their face softened. Suddenly, the villain felt a familiar pain in their chest. Something was hitting close to home. "But you're not as aggressive as before. We need to work on that."
"I appreciate that you want to help me, really. But I think I don't want to be violent," the villain said. The hero touched their own chin, thinking intensively. That was familiar too.
"I've told you a lot of people want you dead," the hero said slowly. "Killing you would turn the whole city upside down. Every criminal tries to be on top of the whole network."
"Can't I just, I dunno, retire?"
"If you want criminals to take over and burn everything down to prove that they are the one on top of the food chain...sure." The hero took in a deep breath. "It's hard to admit but I need you. This city needs you. You keep things organized. You cause damage, yes, but if it wasn't you, it would be five different criminals at five different locations and I don't have the time nor the energy for that."
"Seems like I was a big deal before they fried my brain," the villain said. From what they had been told, they had been a horrible human being. They didn't really miss not remembering.
But there was one thing they wished they hadn't forgotten.
One person.
"You have no idea," the hero whispered. They were quiet for a moment but the villain was sensing that their annoyed and grumpy mask was slipping from their face. "Sometimes it feels pretty lonely. We used to talk about that every now and then."
"We used to talk?" the villain asked, even though they knew they hadn't always tried to murder the hero. Trying to remember was like going through mist and when they had seen the hero for the first time again, it had felt like a warm light in the middle of all the thick fog was calling them.
The hero smiled.
"Most of the time you tried to make me join you. You loved taking me hostage."
"That doesn't sound like a good thing." The villain was disgusted at their own actions. What on earth had driven them to such drastic measures? It was like the villain from the past was someone else.
"...no, of course it wasn't a good thing. It was...different." The hero cleared their throat. "Talking to you was refreshing in a sense. I don't know, it is hard to explain. Our relationship was difficult."
"Like a love-hate-thing?" The hero looked at them but didn't say anything. That was enough of an answer for the villain and acid started to burn their throat. So, the hero had liked them and now they seemed annoyed by them.
What if the hero had liked their old version more? The villain that was violent and aggressive? What if the hero wouldn't like how they were now? What if the hero absolutely loathed them now because they weren't the right villain?
"I was taught not to show any emotions to my enemies. I think that has made me quite bitter but you challenged that. I was angry at you and I hated you a lot of the time. But in your soft moments I loved your voice. I loved your thoughts. I loved when you were kind to me. When you decided to saved me before death could take me. I loved it when you talked to me and argued with me without being an asshole. And those mixed feelings for you conflicted me."
And now? The villain's heart was beating in their chest, loud enough, they swore, for the hero to hear.
"Of course, I knew you wouldn't understand it. You were doing this for your own benefits. You were a strategist, after all. It is more complicated now for me. You're someone I like a little too much."
"You've been waiting to get that off your chest, haven't you?" The hero looked at the ground and back at the villain. Their ears were red and they closed their hands into fists over and over again. They closed their eyes, swallowed.
"I know training can get tiresome and-"
"I remember talking to you. You're pretty much the only thing I remember. Little details. What you look like. What you smell like. Honestly, I thought we were married when I saw you for the first time after waking up." The hero's blush stretched over their cheeks. "Maybe you can give me some more tips? Punches and kicks, I mean."
"Y-yeah of course." The villain smiled softly.
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aswaki · 2 months
Text
wish it was u [smt x reader]
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seok matthew x reader | 1.1k word count | explicit (minors dni)
“matthew's fuck buddy misses him to the point they surprise him with a special photo at work”
contains: afab bodied!reader, voyeurism(ish?-via phone), slight tit/nipple play, oral (reader receiving), fuck buddy/friends with benefits theme, mention of size kink, brief appearance of hanbin
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wish it was u [media attached]
matthew immediately lowered the brightness on his phone when he saw what it was. he hid his phone underneath the table so he could make sure it was for his eyes only. he tried to make his face as neutral as possible. he looked down at his phone once again and there it was... displayed on the screen was a mirror selfie of you laying on your bed. naked. your top was off, revealing your supple tits that matthew loved so much. his mouth almost watered at the sight of them.
he had always enjoyed holding both your tits in his hands and giving them a massage before guiding it to his mouth. you loved having them sucked off and matthew would never deny you that pleasure. the unexpected nude was almost perfect. the only problem was the obstruction that laid on top of you. someone else was staking claim to your perfect breasts. they had one of your nipples captured between their lips. their hands firmly placed on your hips, keeping you steady to stop you from squirming. (matthew knew because he's done that plenty of times before. you were always so responsive.) matthew’s fist clenched.
you and matthew had a very… interesting relationship, so to speak. both of you had been close for years. you knew each other inside and out, literally and figuratively. it started with a game one night after having too much to drink (“matthew, truth or dare?” ‘dare’ “okay, i dare you to… stroke your dick for me,”) to swapping kinks (‘i’ve always had a size kink, you know.’ “really? is that why you like to carry me around? to show off your strength and how big you are compared to me?”) to confessions of being attracted to each other (‘you’re really hot. i've always wanted to know what it’s like have my cock inside your pussy.’ “don't tell anyone but i really want you to choke me with your biceps.”) and then to actually having sex each other (“matty, fuck me harder! feels s-so good!”). even after all of that, the both of you were only friends. friends who liked to use each other’s bodies for fun. it was a casual set up.
no strings attached, no harm, no foul. you agreed to not be exclusive but somehow, you always gravitated to one another. there were times where even the friendly hang outs you planned had ended up with you screaming for his name. 
since he’s been busy lately, he guiltily hasn’t made time for you. no matter how desperate he was to feel your soft skin underneath him and to have his cock ram inside your warm walls for stress relief. he squeezed his eyes shut to get the image of you naked away from his mind. he could already feel himself getting aroused at the thought of you. he opened his eyes but there you were, still naked on his phone with another person.
he’d get mad but the message attached to the photo inflated his ego. he knew no one could replace him in pleasuring you. were you so desperate to have your body be played with? were your tits so lonely you had to look for another warm mouth? were you so horny you had to find someone willing to fill up your cunt?
“wish it was you” he smirked at that. oh, so did he. he was holed up in his work. he was currently at a meeting discussing some important thing matthew couldn’t care less about at the moment. before he could figure out what to do, another notification came through his phone.
ur still better. miss u matty. [media attached]
and you’re a fiend for teasing him… this time matthew couldn’t keep his expression neutral. his mouth hung slightly open as he clicked on the attached media. it was still you angling your phone to the mirror. however, the difference was that it's a video. matthew's finger went to lower the volume. he didn't want anybody from the meeting hearing you. your voice was meant for him, and him alone. the thought of someone else hearing you suddenly made his emotions run amok. when some sweet moans escaped from you as the person you’re with removed their mouth from your tits and went down on you, matthew felt his eye twitch knowing someone else made you moan like that. your current partner's mouth went to the waistband of your panties. they grinned at you before they used their teeth to drag the lace garment down. your legs spread wider to expose your slick pussy further. it was already so wet. their hands slid away from your hips and went on to travel lower, caressing your smooth skin that matthew was so familiar with. as it reached your inner thighs, they gave it a squeeze eliciting a small whine from you.
matthew knew what was going to happen next but he couldn’t stop himself from watching. all he could do right now was grip the phone tighter and tug on his jeans. he was starting to feel hot and restricted. in the video, the person leaned down to pepper your thighs with kisses before putting their lips on your damp folds. after gently kissing your pussy, they used their tongue to stroke your folds, up and down in a rhythmic pattern, then started to eat you out.
now, matthew has never been the possessive type but seeing you lose your resolve from a person that wasn’t him stirred something inside of him. despite all that, he could feel himself getting a hard on. back on the screen, an index finger rolled on your clit. your eyes flew shut as you moaned out, “matty…” your hold on the phone wavered as they started to play with your clit with fervor, making you more sensitive than usual. the video abruptly ends, much to matthew’s equal dismay and relief.
adrenaline ran through his body, he knew he could treat you better than that, even you knew that. it’s why you were doing all this. matthew moved from his spot on the conference table. he decided to go to you, to remind you who made you feel the best. you needed a reminder to who you belonged to. he let out a hurried, “excuse me,” before getting up and walking away. if anyone at the meeting looked intently at him, they would have seen a tent forming at his pants.
“hey, matthew! we're not done yet!” he heard hanbin call out to him but he ignored it. he'd deal with that later. right now, all he wanted right now was to fuck you mercilessly and erase the traces of someone else from your skin.
wait for me, baby. omw.
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a/n: did y'all like it? i haven't really written any thing for a while so this is a quick fic i made. i wanted to dip my toes into writing fics again so i created this new blog. (i'd really appreciate it if you left feedback and maybe reblog/like this)! i hope i'm not that rusty at it. i'm going to be honest— the writing was super quick to make but finding photos to add on top took me a long time to do! lmao! if you read this far, thank you.
divider credit: saradika-graphics
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lorrainmorgan · 2 months
Text
Serpents at the Library
🔞❤️‍🔥 NSFW // MDNI 🔞❤️‍🔥
⚠️ Ominis x F! reader⚠️ Spicy content ahead.
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“So, my dear, you think you've been good? Tell me just how much you believe you deserve what I can give you.” Ominis purred.
The Library's second floor was mostly deserted, save for a lone figure sitting in the farthest cubicle. Ominis was patiently waiting for your arrival. You had agreed to meet after your last afternoon class, but you were already running late. Suddenly, Ominis perked up at the sound of your footsteps drawing closer.
"Hello Ominis, I'm sorry I was late, Professor Binns couldn't stop talking and the lesson just kept going and… I’m sorry" you sat down next to him.
He continued to read his book with his flickering wand, trying to ignore your existence as much as possible, but couldn't help but notice how close to him you’d sat down, almost touching his arm with yours.
You quickly noticed his annoyance. Trying to easen the things between you two, you pulled out of your bag a bag of Berttie Botts and placed it next to him "You can have as many as you want" .
"Thank you, but I don't want any." Ominis turned the book page with his wand. He didn't want to engage in conversation. 
"What have I done to you? Being late for something that was not my fault gives you no right to be rude to me, and you’ve been weird around me lately…why?" You finally spat at him.
The corner of Ominis's mouth twitched upward again. His head tilted to the side and his unseeing eyes glimmered with frustration, drawing you in closer. As he leaned towards you, his hand took hold of yours, sending shivers down your spine rather than offering comfort as intended.
Finally, his voice broke the silence, low and dangerous as he spoke. His words hung in the air like a warning. "I am not being rude, Y/N."
In response, you reached for a bright blue Berttie Bott bean and slowly brought it up to Ominis' lips. He took it obediently, chewing on it quietly. 
"Then tell me, why are you so angry? It's not because I was late... is it?"
After a moment of hesitation, Ominis nervously cleared his throat and shifted on his seat. The signs of a blush spread across his face, coloring his ears and cheeks a deep shade of red. He lowered his voice to a harsh whisper, every word dripping with anger and frustration.
"I'm angry... frustrated by the fact that I overheard Sebastian wanting to take you on a date," he admitted, his eyes flashing with jealousy. "He was finally going to declare his love for you." Turning away, he ran a hand through his hair in frustration before continuing.
"We've known each other since we were kids. We've grown up together, and you've always been so kind to me," Ominis confessed, the words tumbling out in a rush. "But the truth is, I care about you…" He paused to catch his breath "I wish I didn't have these feelings for you, I wish I had someone else to love. But I-" Suddenly realizing what he had just revealed, Ominis' eyes widened in shock.
Your jaw dropped as you processed his accidental confession.
As soon as the words had escaped his lips, he regretted them. But it was too late to take them back now. "Ever since our childhood days, my feelings for you have grown deeper," he confessed. "I've always imagined kissing you, holding you in my arms and feeling your warmth against mine. I've yearned for more than just friendship with you, but I couldn't act on those desires because of our close bond with Sebastian.”
An electric surge of adrenaline coursed through your body, igniting a desire to kiss Ominis. But you quickly squashed the impulse, reminding yourself that he is holding back and you are a proper lady who must maintain control… Right?
You knew that Ominis was waiting for a sign from you, a green light to act on his own desires. You inched closer to him, until your lips were mere inches apart. As you gazed at the constellation of moles on his cheek, your thoughts raced with the overwhelming urge to press your lips against each one.
Like a magnet to a metal, you rapidly and boldly grabbed Ominis' face in your hands and pulled him towards you. He didn’t resist, he surrendered willingly, eagerly meeting your lips as you both gave into the intense craving that had consumed you both. 
The taste of your sweetness burned his tongue . He didn't hesitate any longer, and wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He kissed you deeply, passionately, and with a hunger that had been building inside him for years. 
As your tongues intertwined, he felt the heat between you grow stronger. The kiss was intense, and filled with desire and longing. When he broke away from it, he put your bags and other textbooks on the side of the cubicle, blocking the view from possible and unwanted prying eyes. 
A grin spread across his lips as he leaned in to kiss you. The kisses grew more intense and demanding, with a roughness that made you almost dizzy. 
He held you tight against him, the heat of his body enveloping yours.
Without breaking the kiss, you rose from your seat and straddled Ominis' lap, your legs embracing him. The chair creaked under the weight of two students entwined with each other. It was scandalous, doing this in the middle of the day, in the quiet library where anyone could walk in at any moment. But the danger only heightened the thrill for both of you.
The primal urge to claim you, to mark your body as his own, overtook Ominis. With a slow movement, he slid his hand down under your gray skirt and firmly cupped your ass. A low growl escaped him as he lifted you slightly and placed you on the wooden cubicle desk table in front of him. 
Your bodies rubbed together, and pressed against each other while he bit down on your lower lip, gently sucking on it as his hips ground against yours. His erection grew harder with each movement, the intensity almost too much for him to handle. 
He leaned in, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck as he left a trail of small pink bruises with each kiss. 
Ominis took your right hand, guiding it to the center of his pants where the bulge of his arousal strained against the fabric. His breath was hot against your ear as he whispered for you to feel him, to feel his size and understand the depth of his desire for you. The heat between your bodies intensified as you explored his length, sending sparks of pleasure through both of you.
“You see what you do to me?” Ominis growled, his now dark blue blind eyes smoldering with desire. "I can barely focus on anything else. I've even skipped classes just to relieve myself because of you." 
His hand trailed down your body, finding its way to your nipples which were already stiff and pressing against the fabric of your clothes. A low moan escaped from your lips as he teased and squeezed them between his fingers. Every nerve end tingled with need in your body. 
Ominis could feel himself growing harder and harder beneath your touch, the ache in his loins becoming almost unbearable and painful. He couldn't wait any longer. He wanted you right there, in the library, in that small wooden cubicle, in the middle of the day. Nothing else mattered except for fulfilling his desires with you.
With a sense of urgency, you swiftly unzipped his elegant pants and undid the button. Your fingers eagerly searched within his trousers, freeing his hard member from its confines. It stood tall and proud before you, like a monument to desire. 
His skin was as smooth as polished marble, flawless and pale, devoid of any hair. In one hand, he held a flickering wand, ready to warn of any intruders, while the other guided your hand up and down his length. 
As the rhythm between you grew steady, he reached for the buttons of your shirt. You quickly assisted in removing it, unable to wait any longer. Omnis could feel your desire for him, and he couldn't resist you either. As he pulled off your shirt, followed by your laced bra, he traced his fingertips over the delicate fabric. The texture felt exquisite to his touch. 
"Do you always wear such delicate lace bras, Y/N?" Ominis teased as his hands traced over the curves of your perfect breasts, causing them to rise and fall with each agitated breath. 
He pressed soft kisses as he unclipped the last piece of clothing covering your upper body. Ominis took his time, lavishing attention on both breasts equally, determined to give them the love and pleasure they deserved. His lips latched onto your hard pink nipples, suckling and nipping at them until he heard your soft moans echoing in his ears. 
"Not so loud, my dear. Your neediness is showing itself all of a sudden," Ominis said in a teasing tone. 
Your inner thighs pressed against his cock, creating delicious friction that made you moan even louder. Ominis' hand covered your mouth, muffling the sound as he continued to drive you wild with desire.
“Ominis I’ve been good… please” Your words were desperate and incoherent, barely making sense as they spilled out of your mouth.
Ominis joined in your game as soon as you gave him that green light. He pulled your skirt all the way up, exposing your beautiful skin to him.
“So, my dear, you think you've been good? Tell me just how much you believe you deserve what I can give you.” Ominis purred.
Ominis' hands, rough yet gentle, explored the soft skin of your inner thighs with a sense of urgency.  His unseeing eyes were locked onto your lips, and you couldn't help but grab him by his necktie and bite his lip in punishment for making you suffer. 
"I need you" you pleaded with desperation in your voice. "Please... I deserve it. I'm sorry I was late..." You knew you sounded pathetic, but at this moment, you didn't care. And Ominis loved it - every moan, every plea, every incoherent sentence that fell from your lips. 
His hand traveled lower and reached your white, soaked cotton panties. He could feel the heat emanating from your core, and he wanted nothing more than to claim it for himself. 
He gently pulled the bottom of your panties aside, exposing the delicate folds of your womanhood. The pale pink flesh glistened with your arousal, beckoning him closer. With his index finger, he traced the outline of your clit, eliciting a soft moan from your parted lips. Then, with a wicked grin, he lowered his head and tasted the sweet nectar that flowed from your entrance, putting one of your legs on his shoulder.
"You taste divine," he purred against your sensitive skin. "But I have a feeling you already know that."
You couldn't deny it as he continued to explore and tease you with his tongue. And when he finally pulled away, leaving you breathless and wanting more, he spoke again while circling your sweet spot. 
"I've heard you at night, darling. In your dorm room, alone with your thoughts and desires. I used to think you were pleasuring yourself while thinking of Sebastian, but now I wonder...who were you really thinking of?"
Your heart raced at his words, and before you could answer, he pressed his hard length against your slick entrance. You couldn't help but twitch in anticipation.
“Well, darling?. Who were you thinking of?” He wanted to hear his name falling from your lips, to know that you desired him as much as he desired you. 
Your dizzy head could only manage to cry a single word.
“ You.” 
Ominis pushed himself inside you, and he felt your walls clamp down around him at his abrupt move. He gently slid in and out, and he heard the moans leaving your chest. He couldn't believe how good you felt, and he couldn't wait to make you scream his name. He kissed you deeply, and he started to move faster. He could feel his balls slapping against your thighs.
Ominis picked up his pace, and he felt your hips moving against him. He could feel the wetness on his cock, and he felt it slide in and out of your body. He kissed you deeply, and he felt your hands grasping onto his back.
You almost felt guilty for how good Ominis' cock felt inside of you. How he moved, how his fingers traced every inch of your back, of your breasts, of your sex. 
"O-Ominis, Om-" You cried in his ear, almost reaching your climax. His handjob and the rhythm he had was the perfect equation you need to reach your orgasm. 
His movements became more urgent, his body pulsing with pleasure as he neared climax. 
Ominis could feel his balls tighten, the sensation intensifying with each thrust. A low growl escaped his lips as he released himself inside of you. He felt his hot liquid pouring out of him. With a satisfied low moan, he pulled out of you, feeling his slick cock drip onto the floor. He knew there would be a mess to clean up later, but at that moment, he didn't care. 
Despite everything they had just done, he was still hard and eager for more. Ignoring your need to catch your breath, he plunged back inside of you, causing you to gasp loudly and draw attention from the nearby librarian. 
The librarian's voice cut through the hazy fog of pleasure, jolting you out of your intense concentration. But not Ominis’.
“Dears? Is everything okay up there?” Her concerned tone was met with a sharp demand from Ominis. 
“Tell her we’re fine.” he commanded, his thrusts not faltering for a second. 
You struggled to compose yourself and spoke in a strained whisper, “W-We’re fine Ma’am, thank you.”
“Do you need assistance with anything dear? I can’t hear you very well.” The librarian's footsteps could be heard coming closer to where you were entwined with Ominis.
“Tell her we need bigger tables so I can fuck you in different posit-” 
“We’re good ma’am, Thank you!” You finally managed to say loud and clear.
“Shhh. Please do not scream,” she scolded gently. “Very well then, I’ll be at my desk if you need me.” With that, her footsteps receded and the two of you were left alone once again
Without warning, Ominis' hand shot out and wrapped around your neck, his fingers exerting just enough pressure to display his dominance. But despite his forceful hold, he was careful not to cause any harm. 
"Have you had enough of me, darling?" He growled in a deep, commanding voice.
"No…" You breathed out, your fingertips tracing the outline of his lips as you balanced his aggression with gentle and loving touches. 
Suddenly, he released you and spun you around, lifting one of your legs up onto the desk table. With ease, he slipped back inside of you and your body immediately responded with an arch of pleasure. 
His lips trailed down your back as his grip tightened on your hips, guiding the pace of his cock entering and exiting your body. Every thrust sent waves of ecstasy through you, leaving you in a state of pure bliss under his cold hands.
Your body trembled as his strong hand pulled your hair, forcing you to stand up straight and press against his hard chest. He grasped your neck with his other hand, exerting a gentle pressure as he massaged your swollen breast with cold fingers.
You were completely at his mercy, just as you always had been.
As the rhythm of his thrusts intensified, the sound of his balls slapping against your backside echoed through the empty cubicles. His pale hand found its way down to your throbbing clit, where he teased and rubbed it in tight circles. Each time he penetrated you deeper, it felt like he was claiming a piece of you. His powerful grip on your throat only added to the intensity, accompanied by his hoarse moans that filled your ear with your name over and over again.
All of these sensations combined into one overwhelming wave, bringing you both to another explosive orgasm. It was everything you needed in that moment, and you couldn't help but surrender completely to him. 
Ominis slowly withdrew from your body, leaving a trail of warmth and satisfaction in his wake. His body pulsed with pleasure as he released his warmth onto your back. Your skin tingled with the lingering sensation of his touch.
As you both caught your breath, Ominis reached for his handkerchief to clean up any traces of your intimacy. With gentle care, he helped you dress and made sure you were comfortable, continually asking if you were okay. 
Once you were fully clothed, he led you over to the desk again, sat you down, resting his head in your lap as he gazed up at you with adoration.
“May I have some Bertie Botts now, please darling?”
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184 notes · View notes
kenjakusbraincum · 9 months
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Reverence
Sukuna x Reader
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Synopsis: Sukuna finds you clinging to life by a thread, trapped underneath the rubble of fallen buildings, after the final showdown. He saves you, deciding you’d make a good pet to keep him company at his lonely mansion. Word count: 8.9k Tags/warnings: Afab reader + gn language but the word ,whore’ is used, true form 2 dicks sukuna, dubcon, masturbation, fingering, penetrative sex, dacryphilia, size difference, biting, bruising, belly bulge, creampie Author’s note: First fic I’ve written in ages!! :> Feedback is very appreciated! This may be a part 1 depending on how inspired I get.
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The razed city is quiet around him as he stands and scans the aftermath of his destruction. A moment of calmness after a catastrophe, similar to the rays of sun after a thunderstorm. But when he looks up into the sky, no sun shines down on him. The city is engulfed in dust, and beyond it, dark clouds gather above, weeping over the fate of the world that now lays in his four hands.
Everyone unfortunate enough to be close in the moments the battle went down is gone. Everyone who fought him has either died or escaped. He wasn’t a foolish man. He knew he would win, and once again on top of the world… what awaited him was loneliness and boredom. He let them escape. One day when they think they’ve grown strong enough to face him again, they will entertain him. But for now, they’re gone, and he’s bored.
Then there’s a rustle. Little rocks topple over each other in the ruins. You push them out of your way, crawling out from under blocks of concrete. Bloody, dusted, dirty… and still, he finds you beautiful. He follows you with sharp eyes. Under any other circumstance, you would’ve noticed you were being stared at. But now it’s different. Your vision is blurred by blood dripping from your forehead into your eyes, and every movement of your body hurts. You are dying, you know that. You just don’t want to die under a rock. If you’re going to die, let it at least be in the open. Let it be under the bright blue sky, under the sun, so you’re at peace. But when you turn around to lay a final look at what you wish for, you are met with a heavy gaze of four red eyes.
You’ve sparked his curiosity. A human who survived his divine chaos. A human he’s seen before, in passing, while possessing Yuji. His eyes always did linger on you, but he’s always had something more important to focus on. Now, you’ve fully got his attention.
-
The warmth of sunshine that you so badly wished for in your last moments welcomes you when you wake up. Reborn. You shuffle around in bed, letting out a strained noise. You look around to find you’re alone in the room. Your memories slowly come back to you as you sit up. Fighting alongside your friends. The falling building. Crawling out of it’s remains. The pain, god the pain. It’s all gone now. You look down on yourself, dressed in sleeping robes. Clean. Not a scar on your body. The light soreness you feel is probably from too much sleep. But despite the fact you’re healed, you feel uneasy. You search through your head for your last memory. The realization comes to you grounds you with it’s heaviness, and you feel like you’re sinking into the depths of the earth.
Your friends didn’t come back for you. They either died, or left you to die. But you ended up here instead. This was Sukuna’s home, unmistakably. Where else could you have ended up, after the last thing you saw was him? Who could’ve possibly rescued you from him? Who could rescue you now? Your fate was sealed the moment you were crushed under debris, but you were supposed to be dead. This was a change in plans. This was an impulsive decision, that someone is yet to see prove it’s worth. Or disappoint.
You understand immediately what position you were in. The situation is very clear. The entrance to the garden from your room is closed, undoubtedly to prevent you from running away. But truly, even if it was open, how far would you get before getting caught and inevitably punished? And where would you run? Where in this world, that now belongs to him, is it safe to hide, and how far away is that place? No, running away is impossible. In a way, the safest place from Sukuna was his home. Surely if he let you reside in it, that meant something. Fighting was another foolish option. You discarded it as soon as it crossed your mind. You don’t even have to instigate to know you’d lose. Everyone lost. You were no different, despite of your strength and potential. Besides, your gut told you that running and fighting wouldn’t end in simple terms such as being killed immediately. No, if he brought you here, there was no way he would just kill you. He likes to watch people suffer after all.
Your only option is to stay. You are grateful he gave you this time alone to come to terms with your fate. You understand that staying here, and staying unharmed, would mean compliance. Obedience. Something that went against your very essence as a person, and as a sorcerer. You laugh with unease. Just as you begin to imagine what your life will entail from now on, the door opens, and you’re met with a short white haired person. Sukuna’s minion. You recognize them from before.
‘’You’re awake.’’, they exclaim with no emotion. They look at you, but it feels like they’re looking straight through you.
,,I am.’’, you say after a moment. An attempt to break the discomfort.
,,I didn’t ask.’’, they shoot you with a stare, a warning.
,,S-sorry…’’, you correct yourself immediately, trying to cause as little problems as possible. It’s merely your first interaction in this estate, and you already find yourself backtracking. Giving in.
They let out a tiny tsk sound. ‘’What do you remember?’’, they ask. They sound completely uninterested, and their eyes are empty.
‘’Everything.’’, you reply sadly. It comes across as a smile.
‘’You don’t need catching up then.’’, they sigh, not considering that maybe you would like to be caught up as to where exactly you are right now, and how long have you been sleeping. ‘’My name is Uraume. I’m assigned to help you transition into this new environment.’’, a moment of silence, and they scan your face for a reaction. ‘’Master will see you. The ladies will come to prepare you and dress you up promptly.’’, another pause. Uraume lets you process the information. ‘’When you are around Master, you should act properly. Do not look up at him without permission. Do not speak unless spoken to. Do everything he says with as little delay as possible. He’s your Master now. Obey him and address him as such.’’
Silence drowns the room. The instructions strike a wave of fear and anxiety in you. What bothers you now is not whether or not you’ll be forced to do things you don’t want to, it’s will you be able to do everything right? Will you slip up, or forget an instruction? Will you embarrass yourself, or more importantly disappoint your master?
‘’Understood?’’, Uraume asks, clearly annoyed judging by their tone. You wonder if they’ve asked this twice but you haven’t heard the first time. You simply nod, and your head droops down. Uraume watches you. ‘’When you’re ready knock on the doors, the ladies will come in. Don’t take too long.’’, they say and turn back to the open door. ‘’I’ll see you later.’’
You sit with yourself and think about your future. Every passing second makes it more imminent and clear.  Seeing as there’s no other option, you make peace with your future of servitude. You can only imagine what it entails. You’d be lucky if you were assigned with mopping floors or chopping human meat in the kitchen. Deep down you know that the job you’ll be assigned with is a much less dignifying one. You rationalize things in your head. Since there’s nothing else you can do, you might as well try your best to avoid problems by being good at what you’re tasked with. You sense that it will rid you of all your pride and personhood. Your innocence, that you’ve been saving your whole life for a moment that’s supposed to be special. It will be special, but not in the way you’ve always imagined. It will be ceremonial, a symbol of entering a new chapter in your life. You dread this. But, the alternative is death, or possibly worse. Between those two, you’ve already made your choice. You’re not going to die twice.
You will yourself to stand up and knock on the door. Get it over with as soon as possible, you think. Once the deed is done it will be easier. Two women open the doors and greet you with a deep bow. You’re confused as to what about your presence warrants an extraordinary show of respect. You guess that in the hierarchy of this estate you are above the measly servants. But just by a little bit.
The women guide you down a long hallway, into a bathhouse. They begin to undress you, and there’s not much you can do to protest. Not that you’d say no to a warm bath, but the discomfort is still there. You feel watched, violated, even when their touch is light, even gentle. The women sense this, and they incorporate asking questions into their routine, checking if you’re okay with this, that. It helps you relax, at least a little bit. Over the course of the next few hours you’re thoroughly bathed, shaved, and dried. By the end of it, you don’t mind the little spa treatment you got. It makes the situation seem a little less bad, if you pretend you don’t know why you were taken care of with such precise detail. They dress you up, wrapping you in expensive silk and comment on how beautiful you look.
It’s true, you look mesmerizing. Your skin glows under the dim lights. If it wasn’t for the sadness in your eyes… no one could tell that a day ago you were on the verge of death. Time came to thank your Master for gracefully giving you a second chance.
Uraume waits outside of the bathhouse. They eye you up and down, as if they’re checking if the women did a good job at making you look presentable. They nod and the women are discharged. ‘’Did you enjoy yourself?’’, Uraume makes small talk as they lead you back down the hallway. Nothing in their voice suggests they’re interested in your answer. Everything they do feels like they’re filling out a form.
You don’t know how to answer. ‘’Yes.’’, you answer. It’s not completely truthful, but your emotions are too complicated to explain. Especially since no one here cares about them anyways.
Uraume doesn’t look at you. ‘’Master knows when people lie to him.’’
You’re caught off guard. Are you that bad of a liar? Once again, your impulse to come clean wins over you, and you spew words. ‘’I didn’t mean to come off as ungrateful..’’, you say.
‘’You need to work on it more.’’, they say. You wonder if they could spare you at least one word of encouragement for trying. You wonder if something like that even crosses their mind. If they think about this at all. Or is this a routine they’re used to from before. ,,Master has been busy today. Try not to get on his nerves.’’, they add after a moment.
You stop in front of a huge, monumental door. Uraume faces you. They give you a long stare, fix your collar and tuck your hair behind your ears. Anxiety never left you, but now it’s drumming in your ear, overwhelming you. It feels like static in your whole body, rendering you weak. Your palms sweat and tears begin to pool in your eyes.
Uraume notices. You are their responsibility after all. Master won’t be happy with them if you come in crying and disheveled. They try to come up with something that would console you quickly. ‘’Don’t worry too much. Master wouldn’t go out of his way to heal you from imminent death just to kill you immediately after.’’, even they sound like they’re not sure what they said is completely true. Was Sukuna really above doing such a thing? Somehow the statement has an opposite of the intended effect, and you feel even worse now.
Uraume grabs your shoulders and looks you intently in the eye. What they say sounds like the most sincere thing that’s left their mouth so far during your conversations. ‘’You will be fine.’’. With that, they open the door and enter before you. You try your hardest to stop yourself from crying.
‘’Master, I’ve brought them.’’, they say, bowing deeply. There’s no answer from the inside, but he must’ve approved, since Uraume opens the door fully and lets you in.
You exchange one last stare with them and step into the room. You do as you’ve been told and keep your gaze fixed to your feet. The atmosphere engulfs you instantly. The air is thick and heavy, the room smells like death. You pass by a couple of pools of blood, fresh and dry ones, and you feel your hands start to shake. There are bones piled around his throne. The weight of the air, his four eyes watching your every move, and the aura of evil, pure evil. You feel as though you’re pushed onto your knees. You weren’t instructed to do so, but it comes to you as an impulse. You do it out of reverence, out of instinct. Out of paralyzing fear. You plant your hands in front of you and kiss your forehead against the cold ground.
‘’Master..’’, you say. It comes out shaky and desperate. You get no approval from him either. You feel his stare in your bones.
When he finally speaks, it’s not directed at you. ‘’Leave us.’’, he says, and you hear the doors close a moment after. You feel his stare lift from you for a second, before you’re granted his full attention. He observes you for another moment, that feels like an eternity.
‘’Stand up.’’
You stand up immediately, straightening out your robe with your hands. You stare at the bones before his throne. Some of them human, some animal. Some old and dusted, some fresh with hints of pink flesh and blood on them.
‘’Come to me.’’
You raise your gaze enough to scan where exactly you should come to. You’re disheartened to find that there’s no such thing as stairs to take you to where he’s sitting. You don’t hesitate for too long, suspecting it may anger him. You place your foot on the pile of bones and climb towards him, quite unceremoniously. You come to a stop a couple of steps away from his feet. You needn’t look directly at him to see how huge he is, sprawled in his seat. His head is leaned against his palm. One of his hands taps the armrest impatiently, the other two sit still at his sides.
Your eyes are fixated on the bones, trying your best to maintain balance on the uneven surface. You hear him tap his thigh twice, signaling for you to come closer. You choose your steps carefully as you enter his personal space. There’s nothing but him to hold onto if you fall. You sit on his knee clumsily, keeping your hands in your lap so as not to touch him without permission. One of his hands comes down on your back immediately, and you shiver.
,,Obedient.’’, he notes. ,,But that’s not what I meant.’’
In a moment, his hands are on you, pushing you back up and guiding you into a different position. He grips your hips, and heavy hands settle you in his lap, making you straddle him. Your legs struggle to stretch far apart to accommodate you in this pose. Your heart pounds in your chest, so loud you’re afraid he may hear it.
Once again you fail to control your words. ‘’Master, I’m sorry, I misunderstood...’’, you cut yourself off before you go into babbling. He must have accepted your apology, because his hands pull you closer by the hip, grinding you against his bulge. Your insides throb at the contact, and you don’t know what to do with your hands.
He finds your flustered reactions amusing. ‘’You may look.’’, he says, and meets your eyes with a smile.
You do as you’re told, returning the stare. Your eyes explore his face for a second before settling on his eyes. Everything you do is unsure, even looking at him. You don’t want him to find it offensive. You don’t have any ideas what exactly you’re dealing with. He stares back only for a moment, before he moves on to your body. He feels your cheek, hair, the fabric of your kimono, your hands and nails. You shudder against the gentle touch. You didn’t expect to be handled with such care, even for this short moment. You don’t think for a second that he will stay this gentle. But you want to cherish it while it lasts. You relax into his touch and observe him. Four eyes judge every detail of your presence. Strawberry blond hair slicked back, strands tucked behind his pierced ears. Strong jawline, accentuated by his tattoos. Wide shoulders, bearing four arms. You feel small and weak in his lap, more aware than ever before of just how powerless you are. Just how much your life hangs by a thread that is his good will and mercy.
‘’Beautiful.’’, he observes you, not quite meeting your eyes yet. His gaze lingers on your lips, nose, cheeks. ‘’Well behaved too, it seems.’’. You shudder under his praise, and the hand that trails gently down your back, teasing you. Two hands sit snugly on your hips, holding you in place. The last one travels from your shoulder, to your neck, lingering for a moment as he drags his finger against your throat. It crawls up to your cheek, cupping it, brushing the soft, flushed skin.
‘’Yes.’’, you say, catching yourself spilling words again. Your mind doesn’t quite work in this moment. You’re completely dazed by his energy, his touch, his gaze. You’re helpless as you feel yourself clench around nothing, slick pooling in your most sensitive parts in response to his advances.
‘’Yes what?’’, he asks, thumb hooking under your chin and tipping your face up.
‘’Yes Master.’’, you correct yourself quickly, catching immediately what it is he wanted you to say. In this moment, you think of Maki. You think of how she would have done anything to get herself killed before ever uttering the words of compliance that just escaped your mouth. You have no spine at all. You’re not, and never were nearly as brave as her. You’d always crumble in the face of danger. You imagine the look she’d give you, if she knew what you were doing in this moment.
‘’Good.’’, Sukuna’s low voice snaps you back to the present moment. His thumb finds your lips, swiping over them for a moment before stopping against them. You part your lips in response, and he inserts his thumb into your mouth, pressing against your tongue. You let out a tiny noise in response. You don’t need to be told. You seal your lips around him and start to suck. You close your eyes in focus, feeling the taste of his skin in your mouth. In a moment, there’s a hand on your throat, pressing just lightly enough to warn you. You open your eyes and blink at him, compensating for another mistake by sucking harder. Underneath yourself, you feel his bulge awaken, twitching in response to your efforts. So snugly pressed against him, you wonder if he feels you throb too. Your body works against you. You’re enjoying this.
‘’So willing to please..’’, he says. ‘’As you should be. You have quite a favor to return.’’
You lower your head, his words reminding you why you’re here. He must’ve sensed that you forgot, even for a moment. You pick your words carefully. ‘’It’s true, Master.. you saved my life, and for that I don’t know how to thank you enough...’’, you sound pathetic to yourself. Maki’s eyes loom over you again. She is the devil on your shoulder, whispering to run, kick, scream obscenities. Anything, just not to give in to his command. But you already have.
‘’You needn’t concern yourself with that.’’, he says. The hands on your hips guide you slowly into a grinding motion against his crotch. You sigh at the contact. ‘’You’re here to serve me.’’
‘’Master...’’, your words come out in form of a whine. Your hips move slowly in sync with his hands, your body assumed in complete submission. Pleasure builds inside your core, making you almost forget you stopped mid-sentence. ‘’Whatever you need.’’, you stare into his eyes intently. You’ve truly sunk so low.
Sukuna huffs in amusement, watching you move against him desperately. He’s satisfied that you catch on quickly. But his stare is focused on where your body meets his. He’s leaned against his palm again, pondering what to do, how to test you next.
That’s when the doors open. You freeze in panic, and look back to see Uraume, bowing deeply once again. Next you start to feel shame. You’re straddled snug against the man who razed a city, killed people, innocents, maybe even your friends. And now there’s someone watching you while you’re at it. Uraume pays you no mind, or they pretend not to. They look straight through you, into their master.
‘’Master, I apologize profusely for interrupting. It’s an urgent matter.’’, Uraume says, and looks at the ground.
Sukuna’s finger taps on the armrest in frustration. His demeanor changes, pleased expression exchanged with a frown. You feel the switch in energy in the core of your being, and fear grows in your chest again. He stares at Uraume for a while, then he reverts back to you.
‘’Come back to me tonight.’’, and with that, his hands push you off his lap and you stagger back to your feet. Your body mourns the lack of contact.
‘’Yes master..’’, you mumble and bow, then make your way down the pile of bones again. Sukuna doesn’t react, at least not that you can see or feel, so you guess he doesn’t have a complaint on how you said your goodbyes to him. You walk back to Uraume, swallowing your shame. They wait for you at the doors and lead you outside.
A couple of turns later you’re back in the room you woke up in. Your bed was made in the meantime and a new set of sleeping clothes waited for you nicely folded on top of it. Your eyes linger on the door to the terrace.
‘’Can I see the garden?’’, you ask, and turn back to Uraume.
‘’Master doesn’t allow it yet.���’, they say.
‘’Yet?’’, you narrow your eyes. Uraume starts to get visibly annoyed by your questions. Their voice however remains unchanged.
‘’Good behavior earns privileges.’’
,What a privilege, to go outside.’, you think to yourself, and look back through the window.
‘’You seem to be in Master’s good graces already. I’m sure you’ll be allowed outside in no time.’’, Uraume speaks what sounds like words of comfort for the first time.
Of course you are in his good graces. Because you left all dignity at the doors of his throne room. He stripped you of it, without any effort. His energy alone forced you to your knees, his words struck directly to your core. You wonder how much more you’ll have to endure before being granted the simple mercy of feeling the sun on your skin. ‘’Thank you.’’, you say to Uraume. You appreciate their sentiment.
‘’Are you hungry?’’, they ask. You wonder if anyone in these premises knows, or cares about your name. Or are you that worthless to them.
‘’Yes.’’
Uraume nods and leaves the room to bring you some food. You sit by the terrace door and look outside.
-
You can’t see the sunset from where your chambers are located. All you’re left with is the little piece of sky, uncovered by the surrounding trees, and the limits that windows impose on your view. The outside of the estate looks weirdly peaceful, like it’s not a home to a monster. All sorts of animals appear in the garden, from bugs to birds. As the night falls, you hear the faint sounds of frogs, and even catch sight of a little hedgehog, trotting from one bush to another. The garden truly seems like a little piece of heaven inside what effectively is your prison. Your heart longs to see it, to spend time in it. To smell the grass and feel the earth, your mother, against your skin.
You’re called to him again when the sun has already set, and the last bits of light leave the night sky. Uraume holds the door open to you without a word. You’re forced to part your eyes from the outside, and look to them instead. Their head is low, their stare adorned with what you recognize as pity. You haven’t felt fear about the imminent encounter until you’ve seen them look at you like this. Now it’s starting to creep up on you all over again. Static. Tingling and restlessness. Maybe they know something you don’t, perhaps about what kind of mood your master is in now. You stand up and follow them out. It’s easier to just get it over with, you think again.
Uraume knocks on the door and opens just a crack. ‘’Master, as per your request.’’, they bow. Once again there is no verbal confirmation. You know he’s reacted when Uraume moves to make space for you to come in. You start to see patterns in their interactions.
His chambers are dimly lit, the interior hard to see. He sits on the edge of his bed and stares your way. You feel it again. A lump in your throat. A force of understanding that has you picking up your robes and falling to your knees. If he wasn’t in the mood before, your willingness to serve now puts a smile on his face. You don’t get to see it though. Your face is touching the ground.
‘’Leave, Uraume.’’, he says. You hear the doors close shut, and note that he sounds a bit more impatient than before.
You feel a bit easier when Uraume isn’t there. Something about another pair of eyes observing your ordeal made it all the more difficult.
‘’Come.’’, he says, and you hear the familiar tap. You look up to see his hand on the spot next to him on the bed. You struggle back to your feet and walk over to him hesitantly. Your hands sweat, and you try to wipe them off of each other. You overthink every little detail. How close to him should you sit? Is it better to sit further away and be lulled closer, or sit closer and be pushed away?
‘’Well?’’, he asks, eagerly watching you debate with yourself. ‘’Or do you prefer my lap?’’
You’re not quite sure what’s the right answer. ‘’Wherever you wish, Master…’’, you reply, reminding yourself to stare at the ground.
He sees every doubtful thought reflect on your face. He knows you’re being diplomatic, neither wanting to refuse him, nor make requests. ,,Pick.’’, he challenges you.
Your mind races as you think through the positives and negatives of either choice.
,,I’m waiting.’’, he follows up with a warning. It sounds sinister. Giving up any further mental efforts, you pick up the fabric of your clothes and climb onto his lap again, dipping your knees into the bed besides him. He hums in response, seemingly satisfied with your choice. A pair of hands quickly finds your hips again, drawing you closer, he seems to like to hold you in place. Once again you’re seated snugly against him, layers of fabric being the only thing parting you from his bulge. ‘’Look at me.’’, he says, tilting your chin up. ‘’Let’s continue where we left off.’’
You do as he says, meeting his eyes. You try to gauge his mood. For now, he seems content with you. You let yourself relax. So far, there’s nothing unenjoyable about your encounter. Other than the nature of being made into a servant, of course.
‘’Do you know why you’re here?’’, he asks, rocking you slowly against him. Your hands sit at his hips, clinging to the scrunched up fabric of his kimono. You’re not quite sure you’re allowed to touch him deliberately. You wish to, though. You yearn for a connection, after all you’ve never been in this position before.
‘’To serve you, Master.’’, you reply, blinking at him with doe eyes. Nothing about this situation should be arousing, yet you find your insides clenching at your own words. Effectively you’re trapped, with no chance of another untimely interruption. You’re going to be made to do things even if you’re unsure of yourself. Even if you don’t want to. But you’re still pushing against him, searching for more of him, on your own accord. He has a power over you.
‘’True.’’, he tucks your hair behind your ear, leaning closer into you. You can feel his breath on your face, hot, dangerous. ,,But you’re not my servant.’’, he thinks out loud. ,,Or a slave, for that matter. Let’s crown you as my pet.’’
Another throb.
,,A source of entertainment. A subject of training. My little human jester.’’
You imagine looking at yourself in the mirror, at what you’ve become within a day of being under threat. A piece of you wants to mourn, a piece of you wants to spit on your reflection. What comforts you is that, even if your friends are alive, they will never know the extent of your compliance. They will never know the words that leave your mouth as you sit upon a monster’s lap, wanting more. ‘’How can I entertain you, Master?’’, you ask.
A reserved, but wicked smile graces his face. ‘’Undress.’’
Your heart sinks. But you move, standing up from his lap and taking a step back. So he has a better view. You hesitate, but eventually undo your obi and unwrap your kimono and undergarments, discarding the clothes on the ground. The cool air touches your skin, making you shiver. Your hands sit at your sides, feeling your goosebumps. He observes you carefully from his seat, his eyes exploring your naked form. When he’s satisfied, he motions for you to come closer with his finger. You follow, drawn in by desire.
He doesn’t let you sit back yet. You stand between his legs, as his cold hands start to feel you up. Plush soft skin, reactive to his every advance. His touch is gentle, but hungry. Impatient. He grasps at your waist and behind, fondles your chest between his fingers. One of his hands teases your thighs, your stomach, before finally dipping between your folds. You whine out loud as his finger brushes against your sensitive bud, and feels up your wet entrance. Pleased with your reaction, he draws his finger back to your bud, spreading your essence to ease friction. Your knees buckle and you gasp again.
‘’So responsive.’’, he comments, as he starts to rub circles around your sensitive spot. ,,Has anyone touched you like this before?’’
‘’N-no, Master, just me..’’, you say, hiding your face in shame.
He likes your response. He likes your shame. He will make you feel so much more of it than just this. You’re all his for the taking. ‘’Lay down.’’, he commands, and withdraws his hand from between your thighs. He stands up, and just for a moment before you climb into the bed, you get to see how tall he is in comparison to you.
‘’Not that far away.’’, he says. You wiggle back so you’re closer to the edge of the bed. You lay on your back, propped up on your elbows, legs spread wide for his viewing. You try to do your best. He looms over you now, fingers finding your private parts again. He rubs you carefully with one hand, the other feels your entrance again, and one finger dips in. You sigh, head leaning back at the foreign feeling. Two fingers and the pain of the stretch already pricks at you. A whimper escapes you, but you lull yourself to be quiet. It’s only his fingers, after all. They’re thick and long, and practiced, as they explore your insides. He’s doing you a favor.
‘’You’ve been such an obedient little human. You deserve a reward.’’, he says, his words making you squeeze his fingers. You moan as sparks of pleasure rattle your body, his fingers effortlessly finding the spot inside you that makes your leg shake. You forget about your manners. He stops, and you look back to him in desperation. ‘’What do you say when I reward you?’’
‘’Thank you Master!’’, you look at him through hazy eyes. Standing above you like this, he looks like a god. In complete ownership of your smaller, sprawled out body. You feel filthy, but his fingers inside you make you see stars, make you completely forget how you got here in the first place. You’re overtaken by a perverted, primal instinct, as you near your orgasm and force your legs open wider. The squelching noises of his fingers working out your hole fill the room.
Sukuna responds to your movements with a devilish grin. ‘’’Close, little pet?’’, he asks you, almost mockingly. His fingers massage your spongy walls, the sensitive spot in the depths of your fragile body.
‘’S-so close… Ahh!’’, you mewl through the moans, squeezing your fingers in a fist.
‘’Don’t hold back.’’, he says, eyes fixated on you, his own erection starting to strain unbearably against the fabric of his clothes. ‘’I may be generous, but that doesn’t mean I’m patient.’’
His words are truly your command. His energy, his presence, it strips you of any agency you have over yourself. Your body shakes to his words and pleasure washes over you, blacking your vision out as your eyes roll back. It rocks you, your hole throbbing, squeezing hard around his fingers. He rubs you through it gently but persistently, until you’re so sensitive you’re closing your legs to make him stop. You don’t have time to be embarrassed, coming down from your orgasm. He is entertained, but his hands are on your knees in no time, spreading them back apart, reminding you you’re far from done. When you look back up at him, his stare spells a warning. You quickly react by symbolically spreading a little wider, and tilting your hips to give him access.
‘’Would you rob me of my turn, pet?’’, he asks, undoing his obi.
‘’No! Never, Master..’’, your eyes travel down his figure as he discards his clothes. Even from this angle, his sculpted body looked massive in comparison to you. You wonder if it would engulf you if he lied over you right then and there, leaving only your clinging arms and legs as evidence that there is someone underneath him at all. Adorned by tattoos and muscles, he looks monstrous, imposing. You look at him with admiration, as your gaze drops to his hips, and the essence of his manhood. The two of them that hang from his crotch, rock hard and throbbing at the sight of you. At first you are taken aback, but after a moment you realize the math is right and it’s weird this hasn’t crossed your mind earlier. He does have a pair of everything else, so it makes sense he’s double gifted down there too. The base of his cocks is crowned with a low hanging set of balls, plump and ready to be drained. Nervousness that paints your face and changes your demeanor. You’re suddenly very aware of just how small your frame is compared to him, and the size of his cocks.
He likes watching people’s reactions. He is a cruel man after all. He likes his subjects nervous, fearful. A little resistance even excites him. But your pale face and tense body almost make him feel sorry for ruining your relaxed composure. Almost. It also happens to make him throb with desire. Underneath him, your face is contorted in fear. You think he might just kill you. What a painful and degrading death it would be, to die split on his cock like at the stake.
‘’Don’t like what you see?’’, he smirks at you, teasing, his demeanor seeming to change in an instant.
‘’Master, it’s not that... it’s just that...’’, you stutter over your words. Embarrassment and horror cojoin in your excuses. ‘’I’ve never done this before. I don’t think I can…’’, your eyes meet his and you trail off, leaving your thoughts unfinished. Sukuna doesn’t consider his subjects. He is a man who takes and takes, without a second thought, or a look at the person he’s taking from. His stare does linger on your fearful eyes though. He notices that in himself, feels himself slipping up from his usual behavior. An impulse comes to him to assert dominance aggressively, but he doesn’t react. He remembers how easily you submitted to him in the first place. He doesn’t need feats of aggression to scare you into compliance. You’re very compliant anyways. It’s just that you make him feel the closest emotion he’s felt to guilt in a very long time.
‘’Scoot back, pet. Hands and knees. Just one will do for tonight.’’, he says. You doubt he tried to comfort you, but thinking of it like that makes it easier to bear.
You obey him and turn around, crawling further onto the bed on all fours. He follows you, knees dipping into the mattress. His words are of little comfort as he crawls over you like a predator over his prey. Fear rises in your chest and you feel your heart start to pound again. He settles over you, heavy hands landing on your hips and pushing your thighs further apart to accommodate him between them. Another hand lands flat on your back, the plane between your shoulder blades, so small against his massive palm. So fragile against his brute strength. He could break you if he wanted to. Yet, he barely even pushes you.  
‘’Down.’’, he says, urging you to bend, allow him better access. You follow instructions, letting his hand guide your torso lower until your chest is pressed into the mattress. You feel uncomfortable, bent into this position that is completely new to you. Your slick folds are exposed for his viewing, your opening gaping with a shameless noise. He’s going to take you from behind, like an animal. You won’t even see, or feel your suitor, the man who will claim your innocence.
‘’Master..’’, your voice trembles and you turn your head to the side, searching for his gaze. He looks from your body back to you, listening. ‘’I’m scared..’’
He huffs, his expression not changing to signal he’s unhappy. Rather, he seems amused. Noticing that doesn’t help you feel any less scared. His first reaction is ,you should be.’. But he doesn’t want to send you into hysterics. He likes the peace and quiet. ‘’Relax pet.’’, he says, more of a command than a suggestion. ‘’It’ll hurt less.’’
You will yourself to relax, trying instead to focus on something else. However there’s little else to think of in a position like this, just him, his hands on your hips and back, keeping you snugly in place for him to use and enjoy. Your mind wails in anticipation.
You feel his wet tip grind against you, feeling the familiar need slowly come back to you as it rubs at your clit. His grip is unfaltering on your hips, holding you in place as he starts to enter you. You cry out loud, and your body instinctively tries to wriggle out of his grasp, escape the intrusion.
Sukuna growls, his fingers dig into your hips hard enough to bruise, and he pushes you back onto him.
‘’Where do you think you’re going?’’, he says, audibly displeased. His rock hard member protrudes deeper into you, and you shut your eyes tight and grip the sheets so hard your knuckles go white. You wanted to be brave and quiet, wanted even to babble an apology, but as he advances, stretching you open painfully, you cannot help but cry out loud. Tears drop from your eyes and you bury your face into the bed.
He grunts as you envelop him, coating him in a mixture of your blood and wetness. He pushes through your resistance, the feeling overwhelming, even for him. Your walls cling to him so tightly he has to put mental effort into not releasing right then and there. He moves slowly, caring just enough to not break you. In no time he’s fully sheathed in, his balls pressed against your clit. You’re so incredibly full, you think you may just pop. Sukuna bends over you, and you feel his hot breath on your back. You turn around to see him through a blur of tears. You’re a sobbing, mewling mess. Filled to the brim with his want for you. It brings a smile to his face.
‘’How does it feel, pet?’’, he asks. He truly doesn’t care for your answer, he’s just entertained by your measly crying voice.
‘’H-hurts..hurts so much, Master!’’, you sob.
‘’Shame.’’, his head leans in closer to yours, and you can see nothing but his glowing red eyes. ,,Because it feels heavenly to me.’’
With that, he starts moving. You gasp, holding onto the sheets as he rocks your body with his thursts. Slow and deep, mercifully you think, his cock heavy inside of you, spreading you thin. His hips meet the soft flesh of your ass with a slap at every stroke. The stretch burns, but the discomfort dissipates slowly, as his fat tip stroking your sensitive walls, sending hints of pleasure through you. You feel him whole, every vein and ridge and curve of his cock.
Slowly your tears begin to dry, and your painful sobs are replaced by lustful gasps and moans. His eyes keep coming back to you from time to time, observing your reactions to his every move. Your head is turned to the side, and at first you avoid his gaze, ashamed of crying like a weakling. You know there’s nothing he despises more than that. Now that you’ve began to accept him, welcome him inside of you, you look back. Eyes blinking back at him idly, innocently, as your mouth drops open. He grunts as he fucks you, the sound low and masculine. He picks up the pace and the room echoes the sounds of your squelching wet cunt and the skin of his hips, thighs and balls meeting yours with every push. His cock rummages through your depths with abandon. Your moans follow his frequency, as you feel pleasure build in your core slowly, each of his movement coaxing you closer to another orgasm.
Your hands ache with the need to touch his body, to feel him close, feel his muscles tense and relax as he breaks you. The pleasure sparks inside you and you’re restless, craving another release so bad. Your legs tremble, toes curl, you start to push back, meeting his hips mid stroke.
‘’Enjoying yourself, pet?’’, Sukuna asks, dipping his head closer to you again, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. Straight to your core. You tighten around him, nearing your release and he growls.
‘’M-m, yes Master! So big... Feels so good!’’, you stutter, reduced to a trembling mess, clinging desperately onto anything you can get a hold of, in hopes of delaying your orgasm. He hasn’t moved a finger to please you this time around and you’re already fluttering around him. ‘’M-master..please.. Wanna touch you, feel you..’’, you open and close your hand in tune with your words.
His hand digs into your hair and tugs, picking the upper half of your body up from the bed. ,,What was that, pet? A demand?’’
‘’No! No Master.. I wouldn’t.. I-I was begging!’’, you backtrack immediately, your neck straining from the force he’s pulling you with.
He relaxes the hold and you fall back into the previous position. He is satisfied with your answer, but he won’t grant your wish. ‘’You may not.’’, he says, and exhales shakily as you tighten at his words again. ‘’But you’re cute when you beg.’’, you do it again, and he knows you’re close. ‘’Such a horny little human. How quickly you’ve changed your mind.’’
‘’A-ah, Master.. Gonna, gonna cum..’’, you whine, his cock hitting your insides perfectly, his pace steady, unfaltering.
‘’I’ll allow it. Whore.’’
With his last word, you’re tipped over the edge and your orgasm drowns you. Your breath hitches, hands grip the sheets, and the whole world stops as pleasure shakes through your body like electricity. You trash against him helplessly, your body not fully under your control. His hands finally release your hips, and your quivering body slumps against the mattress, your cunt fluttering around nothing as you lose contact with your master. You’re left a moaning, sensitive mess, sticking to the sheets in your sweat and juices. Your shaking legs still, and you feel numbness envelop your body
Sukuna gives you a moment to ride out the aftershocks. Then he straddles you and leans his weight against you. His hand crawls under your body, stopping to grip your breast and continues to pick up your cheeks between his fingers, turning your face towards him. His eyes are threatening, and he doesn’t need to tell you anything. You know what he wants.
‘’T-Thank you, Master. S-so good... Thank you! ’’, you say, your hand itching to feel his face. He chuckles, takes both of your hands and traps them underneath his on either of your sides. Tonight, he is adamant on not allowing you to touch him.
Satisfied with your answer, he guides his cock back into you and continues where he left off, chasing his own end. With your legs closed like this, you feel even tighter around him. You’re trapped between his heavy body and the mattress, unable to move a muscle as he picks up the pace, withdrawing and snapping back in with each powerful thurst.
‘’Good pet. You know where you belong.’’, his grip tightens on your wrists as he nears his release, growing weary and relentless. ‘’Under me. Always.’’, he growls into your ear.
You meet his eyes and hold his gaze, enticing his pleasure with your words. ‘’Yes Master! When-whenever you need me!’’, you moan, and let your mouth hang open in an ,o’ shape.
His pace slows, strokes getting sloppy as his orgasm draws close. He breathes hard, face close to yours. You feel him waver, feel him slowly lose his composure. Feel him come apart slowly nestled in the warmth of your insides. His brows are furrowed, eyes tight shut, mouth hanging loose. One of his hands crawls under your belly, propping your ass up just a bit, for a better angle. He feels himself inside you, a bulge protruding in your lower belly as he holds you in place. This is the final push that makes the coil of pleasure inside of him snap. He comes with a guttural, animalistic groan, and comes down biting your shoulder. His cock twitches violently, kissing your womb as he empties his load inside you. He groans through every spurt, hot and sticky as he paints your inner walls. His thighs shake against yours, his whole body rocked by the powerful orgasm. One he hasn’t experienced in what could be hundreds of years.
You feel so completely full of him. As he comes down from his high, he licks up the blood off your shoulder, tongue hot over the place where his teeth punctured your soft skin. He finally lets go of your wrists and sits up, slowly withdrawing his cock. Beads of his cum follow his cock, leaking out of your empty cunt. So much of it, you feel dirty letting it drip out of you like this.
He takes a moment to observe you, laying there fucked out, marked and utterly claimed by him. You let out a helpless noise, feeling your hurting wrists. The bite on your shoulder will leave a bruise, same as the place his finger dug into your hips. Your cunt aches from the assault of his cock inside it. Weakness takes over you, and you feel like you can barely move. He doesn’t consider healing you. He wants you to be reminded of him, constantly. When you stand up on wobbly legs, when you take off your clothes to go the bathroom. When you turn in bed. When you look into the mirror. He won’t let you forget, even for a moment, where you are, and who you belong to.
He stands up from the bed, and you turn your head to search for him. ‘’Master? Have I..’’, you stutter when you meet his eyes. His gaze is attentive as he fixes his ruffled hair, slicking it back. He gives you a moment to finish your sentence, but you don’t. You just sit up in his bed, pulling your knees to your chest. Hiding from him, as if in shame. Your hand searches for covers to pull over yourself. You’d most like to disappear under them. How pathetic you are, you think. Searching for approval, for praise, from a man who took you with no regards to your wishes or feelings. Why would he compliment you? You’ve hardly been anything but a fucktoy for him, not even worthy enough for him to fuck you looking at your face. Tears begin to pool in your eyes, emotions from your first experience overwhelming you. You crave touch, affection, anything to contrast the treatment you’ve received until now. If he would let you, you would cling to him like a newborn would to it’s mother. Like your existence depends solely on him, and he is your entire world. But he is not a man who likes to be touched. Not a man who likes intimacy. You could only dream of a kiss, of tenderness of any kind.
When you look back, Sukuna is standing above you, a piece of clothing already wrapped around his waist. His hand feels your cheek, the expression on his face almost soft, but still dominating. Seeing you cry in doubt you haven’t done a good job truly somehow makes him more satisfied with you. You show a great concern for your master. He likes to be the center of people’s worlds.
‘’Weep not, my pet. Your efforts will not go unnoticed.’’, he says, voice still as stern as ever. ,,I’m happy with your servitude.’’
Your eyes lighten up as you look up to him. His stare is docile, but threatening, as you remember that after all you are supposed to keep your head low. You duck down in apology. ‘’T-Thank you, Master.’’, your voice falters, but Sukuna is still satisfied with how quickly you pick up on your mistakes. He finds you’re quite easy to work with. He turns and leaves you, for only a moment, to sit and reminisce about this whole encounter on his bed.
‘’Uraume.’’, he then says, in a relaxed, almost quiet voice. You don’t think you’ve even heard the doors open, but the white haired monk stands in the corner of the room. Have they been there the whole time? You spiral in shame as they nod and approach you, their hands finding yours. They pull lightly, urging you off the bed. You didn’t think about where you’ll spend the night, but it makes sense it won’t be here. Sukuna wouldn’t let you touch him, see him, he wouldn’t kiss you, much less let you share his bed while he sleeps. You feel used, dehumanized. It hurts, but you stand up. Uraume picks up your clothes from the floor and wraps them around you lazily, doing enough just to cover you up until you’re back in your room.
‘’Rest up, pet. I’ll keep you quite busy during our times together.’’, Sukuna tells you, and gives you one last look, before he disappears in the shadows of his chambers. You bow to him and follow Uraume out.
What follows is a walk of shame. There is no one in the hallway, and Uraume walks in front of you, but you feel the weight of a thousand eyes. You watch each wobbly step with care, so as not to make further cause for embarrassment. Uraume lets you in your room. It is lit by a single candle. You stare at it’s faltering flame as Uraume disappears, leaving you alone for a moment. So this is what your life will look like from now on.
Uraume returns with a warm, wet towel. ,,Clean yourself up. You have a fresh set of clothes on the bed.’’ Their stare, empty as ever, finds your eyes and lingers for one last moment. ‘’Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast.’’
You stare at the towel in your hand, not returning their gaze. They eventually move, closing the door behind them and leaving you alone in the room. You do what you can to clean yourself, wrap yourself in sleeping clothes and lay on the bed. Squeezing your knees to your chest, you long for comfort, for warmth. For any reminiscence of humanity that you’re yet to find in this mansion.
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jordanli-dribbles · 3 months
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Jordan Li x fem!Reader | 1.6k Words
You weren't exclusive. You weren't even friends. You were just two people who had been paired up in a group project the previous semester and somehow kept ending up in each other's beds. The unspoken rules were clear to both of you: no strings, no drama, and most importantly, no attachments. You had no mutual friends, so your interactions were limited to class or late-night visits to each other's dorms. It was a straightforward arrangement that worked for the both of you, until it didn’t.
It was a Friday night when your best friend convinced you to attend one of Dusty's notorious off-campus parties. You weren't much of a party-goer, but you were bored, lonely and a bit irritated. You hadn't heard from Jordan in several weeks and they seem to be ignoring your messages so you needed a distraction. You were having a good time until your best friend decided to hook up with some guy, abandoning you. Luckily, you bumped into a girl you knew from the year before. She was cute and you enjoyed her company. She somehow convinced you to dance with her, and soon enough the two of you were dancing and grinding, as her hands freely wander around your touch starved body.
What you hadn't noticed however, was Jordan's eyes on you as soon as you walked into the house. They didn't expect to see you at the party; you never really went to these types of things. But they guessed they didn't really know you, not the way they wished. They had been deliberately avoiding you for the past few weeks. You consumed all their thoughts, and that frightened them, so they pushed you away.
They tried to engage with someone else, hoping a quick fuck would take you off their mind. Yet they found their eyes constantly drawn back to you. They couldn't bear the sight of another person touching you so intimately. Their jealousy quickly rising as they felt the overwhelming urge to stake their claim on you, to show everyone that you belonged to them and no one else. Watching the person lean in to kiss you was the last straw. Within seconds, they charged towards you, harshly pushing the person off you. You tried to object as they gripped your wrist, dragging you towards the nearest empty room.
“What the fuck, Jordan!” You angrily exclaimed before they pinned you against the door, forcefully pressing their lips onto yours. Their kisses were aggressive, and almost desperate. You pulled away, shocked and still angry. They ignored you for weeks and have the audacity to ruin your relatively good night. Just as you were about to speak, their lips found yours again. They kissed you hungrily, like a person gasping for air after resurfacing from the depths. Their hands slid under your dress, cupping you, evoking an involuntary moan from you. Before you could even protest, their fingers were inside of you. The sudden intrusion making you gasp, and your legs instinctively widening, betraying your indignation.
"Do you think she could fuck you the way I do, princess?" they growled into your ear, their fingers moving skillfully inside of you. Trailing kisses down your jaw and neck, sucking on your sensitive skin, leaving small bruises along the way. You whined and squirmed beneath them, your body a traitor. "Fuck…" you whimpered, their fingers still thrusting inside you, curling just enough to graze that spot that only they could find so easily. You couldn't help but rock your hips forward, your hands gripping the door behind you for balance, a loud moan escaping your lips. They pulled back to look into your eyes as their fingers continues to move expertly inside you. Your soft moans, and pleading eyes being the only answer they needed.
"No, princess. She wouldn't. No one will ever fuck you like I do," they said, biting your lower lip before reconnecting your lips in a feverish kiss. You were lost in pleasure. Your pussy dripping, as their fingers fucked your core.
Suddenly, they removed their fingers, you whined in protested. Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt your face flush as you watch them lick their fingers clean. You bit your lip as you stared at them. You felt exposed and vulnerable, unsure of what had sparked this change. Their possessiveness and raw passion a stark contrast to their usual indifferences. You had to admit you enjoyed this new side of them. It was exciting and exhilarating. You craved their touch, their attention. You were addicted.
They smirked at your disheveled state before cupping your sex once again, their eyes never leaving yours. A soft gasped leaves your lips as you feel their thumb slowly rubbing your clit. "Tell me, does she make you this wet, baby?" they whispered, their hot breath tickling your face. You opened your mouth, but no words left your lips. Your mind was blank. You whimpered, your body squirming against their touch, desperate for friction.
"Then who does, baby?" they demanded, their voice rough and commanding, biting into your shoulder. A moan escaped your lips once again, and you arched your back, trying to press your aching pussy into their hand. You let out a frustrated groan as they abruptly pulled away from your body once more, their hand no longer caressing your core. Their eyes darkened as they grabbed your neck, tilting your head up to meet their darken eyes. "Answer me," they demanded, slightly tightening their grip on your neck, eliciting a soft whimper from you.
You stare into their eyes, their gaze unwavering. Your mind was clouded by lust, your body ached for their touch, but you had never seen this side of them before. They were usually cold, detached, and distant. Their possessiveness surprising, yet extremely arousing. The intensity of their gaze made your heart beat faster.
"You…only you, Jordan," you profess, your breathing shallow and ragged.
They smiled at you, their dimples on full display. "Good girl," they replied, before leaning in and capturing your lips. You moaned softly as their tongue licked your bottom lip, granting them access. Their kiss was slow and tender, a contrast to their earlier aggressive ones. Your eyes closed as you surrendered yourself to the moment. You had missed them. The way their hands held you. The way they tasted. The way your body lit on fire from a single touch.
"I fucking missed you." they confessed against your neck, your mind going haywire with the admission. Their hand trailed down your stomach, until it finally reached its destination. You moaned loudly as their fingers teased your core before they slowly inserted their fingers into you. Your head was spinning, so much was happening at once, but all you could think about was the pleasure between your legs.
They began pumping their fingers in and out of you, their lips and tongue exploring the exposed skin of your neck and collarbone. You moaned and writhed under their touch. Your hands reached up and grasped their shoulders, your nails digging into the fabric of their shirt eliciting a growl of approval from them. "Fuck," you whimpered as they worked your sensitive bud, sending shocks through your entire body. “Your mine," they growled against your skin, curling their fingers to hit that spot they always seem to find. "Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine." they chanted against your skin, their voice deep and raspy. "J-Jordaaaan… fuck… please. I'm close" You moaned loudly, your thighs trembling, your muscles tightening.
"That's it, baby. Scream my name." They said as their fingers continue to rub circles over your clit, picking up the pace, pushing you closer to the edge. "I-I'm gonna… fuuuck... I'm gonna cum," you say through labored breaths, your walls tightening around their fingers.
"Cum for me, baby. I want everyone to know whose pussy this is," they groaned into your ear. Your whole body shuddered as you unraveled, screaming their name as your climax hits you like a freight train. Their fingers continue to move inside of you as you rode your high. Your head fell onto their chest as you try to catch your breath.
They place a soft kiss on your head as they remove their fingers, causing you whimper at the sensation. "I love the way you taste, baby," they moan as they lick their fingers clean, "Your so fucking addicting."
They give you a lopsided grin as they look down at you, bring their hand back up to softly caress your cheek. You were both silent, lost in each other's eyes as their thumb gently brushed your lower lip. "I don't want to share,” they said firmly, ”…not anymore.” You could see the sincerity in their eyes, the intensity of their gaze sending shivers down your spine. Your breath caught in your throat as the realization of what they were saying sunk in.
Their lips barely brushing against yours. "You're mine," they declared again, “Only mine.” Your heart fluttered, a swarm of butterflies taking flight in your stomach. Their eyes held an intensity you couldn't identify. Pausing, they studied you, their thumb gently tracing circles on your cheek. "Do you understand, princess?" they whispered, their forehead pressed against yours. Your eyes closed, savoring the sensation of their touch.
"Yours," you responded breathlessly, pulling back to look into their big brown eyes. Your hands moved up to wrap around their neck, your lips finding theirs. The kiss was slow and passionate, conveying the emotions that you couldn't verbalize. Your tongues danced, and your hands tangled in their hair, pulling them closer as their fingers trailed down your spine, making you shiver. You had no doubt in your mind that you were theirs.
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This is the first time I'm write anything smutty, so it's only right that it's a mix of soft and jealous Jordan. Gifs by stannyramirez
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otakuworks · 1 year
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❛ 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑. reborn au
feat. Zhongli x Reincarnated!GN!Reader | PART II | wc. 5.4K
Based on 'See You In My 19th Life' webtoon | overview. This Webtoon follows the story of a woman who somehow can remember all her past lives.
sum. You were running too fast in life, so fast that no one could catch up, not even Morax who left you to fend off with your curse. Just when you thought you'll slip and fall, a certain consultant came behind and caught you.
cw. mentions of extreme emotion breakdown. cttro 双niarss on Twitter for the art below.
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main m.list genshin m.mlist
PART I < PART II
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THEME SONG; Slump by Stray Kids (English Version)
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There are five stages of grief; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. All in order.
In your case, it was the other way around. You have long accepted Morax will lay on his deathbed one day, every living thing will eventually cease to exist, mortal and immortal alike
You, out of all people know the in-depth concept of death.
And yet, no amount of tutelage or experience can prepare you for the real thing.
Now you understood what Morax felt when you died.
Your chest feels raw like there's a sudden gash wound that has manifested in your heart. It was painful, too painful that you wouldn't wish it upon anyone, even on your worst enemy.
Scratch that. It's not just pain. It feels something more destructive, demanding and insatiable, crueler than sorrow. Not even death can appease this feeling.
It was agony.
Impale your abdomen with a spear hundred times. Sever your limbs every lifetime. Suffer for all eternity hiding behind Morax and watch him love with someone else over and over again— you'd take them all and say thank you.
You'd be grateful and endure each of them just to trade whatever horrible feeling that's tearing you apart.
Confusion, terror and fright blanketed your mind as you slumped on the floorboards, desperately gasping for breath.
The acrid smell of snarling lightning crackles in the stale midnight air, sharp enough to singe every nerve of your body, rendering you cowering in overwhelming emotions— agony, pain and grief.
Inazuma was bustling with the news of the Geo Archon passing away recently. You could only imagine how Liyue is digesting the cruel twists of events.
The news spreads fast enough for foreign people to sympathize to Liyue citizens, some even offered prayers to the Raiden Shogun, some pay their respects by wishing the late Archon to rest in peace, some never bothered to care.
But none of them mourned in the confinements of their four walls as you did, the Celestia above knows the quiet sobs that wrecked the very core of your existence. The horrors of every shitty lives you went through cannot be compared to this day.
Rex Lapis, who is— was widely known for many names, mostly as the Geo Archon, God of War, God of Contracts, Former Prime Adepti, the Stonebreaker, God of History is now reduced by dust with his people carrying the legacy he has passed on.
To you, all this time, he's still... Morax the petulant child who leans on you for comfort, who politely demands you to sing a lullaby as kids. You're already sold to the idea no one would ever believe you if you told them what embodiment of mischief he was in the ancient times, the exact opposite of the Archon they knew about.
Nostalgia hits you in particular days you can't find traces of the young Morax, but Pride would caress your heart every achievement he succeeds as you watch the people love him.
Similar to a lone planet, you desperately search for a star to orbit around, to give you a source of energy and strength. Once you find one, it'll be difficult to rearrange your position after you have settled down, you're attached until the star loses its amber glow.
And now the star is gone. Gone with the cosmos after a supernova.
Destroying the neighboring planets, including you.
You were the closest in its orbit, you're the one who had to endure the scorching flames morphing you into ashes until you're reduced into cosmos particles for no one to remember.
Morax left you to fend off with your curse and face adversities alone.
Mortals would succumb to these adversities and would choose to sever their connection to the living to escape from everything. You've seen a handful of them and can't ever get enough of it.
If there's anything you long to have other than having Morax beside you is a swift escape.
Every mortal is capable of such thing, you are too, but it's pointless if the pain will cling to you in your next life. It's fruitless to cry when you know every affliction won't be forgotten even if you tried.
Just why?! Why do I have this perpetual curse of reincarnation? I abhor you, Celestia! Not only you cursed me, you even took away Morax from this land!
You shake your head as the anger surge took over your sanity. You thought you can just go live your merry life, unbeknownst how dependent you were to Morax.
Your will to live is solely operated by the fact you have someone you want to protect. But now he's gone? What's the back up plan? Clearly you can't just follow him in his death knowing you can die, but your memories will remain with you.
Was it out of selfishness to protect him to have someone accompany your lonely soul? Because he's the only one who actually remembers the real you?
Rain began to pour from the desolute atmosphere as you heard disembodied voices theorizing Morax's death. The muffled thundering of the storm only growing louder, reminding you of today's unsavory news. How convenient, the sky is sympathizing.
No, make it stop! I don't want fo hear any of it! Morax is dead, that's how nature works. I'm griefing because it hurts, not because I have nothing to live for.
You lived in that illusion for minutes until. . .
*drip* *drip*
. . . the dam broke.
Hot tears streamed down your face, and you squeezed your eyelids shut in the hope the pain would stop, just numbing it would be fine too. Your choppy breathing and watery eyes remained for quite some time, and sat there unmoving.
There's no see you later's anymore, for Morax has left you. Today has marked your first Goodbye to him.
For an indiscernible amount of time, there was only a black void and it could have been as if you didn’t exist and you had never existed.
And then you felt each of your cells that had been ripped apart within seconds be sewed back together just as quickly, and your eyes met nothing but a blinding white light.
Have I reborn again? You're not aware which is which anymore. You lift your numb hand and reality crashed over your head, you haven't died out of grief, yet.
Your mind is in havoc, you don't know what you want, not that you have any choice.
Dying won't help you escape, forgetting is not an option, loving. . . can't heal an open wound.
No words can equate the absolute devastation you feel.
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❖ ── ✦ ── 『 6000 YRS AGO 』 ── ✦ ── ❖
This is stupid. Utterly ridiculous!
What kind of mortal would go in the mines in the middle of the night where monsters lurk in the shadows to hunt for preys? Yeah, that's a question he would like for you to answer!
He flies twice the speed he usually exerts, his mind running rampant of all worst possible scenarios.
He doesn't know what compelled you to do such ridiculous act, but all he knows is he has get to you before any monsters do.
Landing unceremoniously, he gulps at the sight before him. He was never a fan of darkness, it never fails to instill fear in him, the fear of the unknown.
The only time he feels comfortable in the night is whenever you're around him. You don't fear the night, and it somehow influenced him in a way that there's nothing that should be afraid of as long as you're with him— as his human shield.
Young Morax finds himself slowly withdrawing, the fear overpowering his will to come and save you.
"Morax? What are you doing out here?" Saved by the gracious voice of yours, young Morax nearly broke his neck with how fast he looked at your direction.
Your face is contorted out of concern for him, he's sweating profusely and his breathing is ragged.
Just seeing you all in one piece with no signs of injuries made hin slumped on the ground, sighing in relief.
You were at his side seconds later, subconsciously caressing his cheeks. Celestia above! He's shaking like a leaf!
"It's alright, let's get you out of here." Your soothing voice appeased his troubled mind as you helped him get back on his feet. He clutches the fabric of your shirt and wordlessly launches himself on you, arms and tiny tail entrapping you in an embrace.
You waste no second reciprocating the gesture, you've known him for months to be comfortable with physical sentiments. Though you can't say the same to him as he would always flinch away when you initiate it, but has no problem when he does it.
And it seems like he needs your comfort to even give a damn.
"Whatever it is, it can't hurt you now okay?"
From that angle, he peered from below you as if confirming the validity of your words, amber eyes looking like someone has kicked an innocent puppy, it's no wonder you have a soft spot for him.
Both of you strayed away from the caves leading to mines, "I-I thought you l-left me." He meekly mumbled, almost incoherent.
That baffles you as he continues, "I overheard f-from your village that m-monsters are increasing in the area and you're probably..."
"Shh... I'm here now, aren't I? I'm sorry you have to hear that, I can assure you I haven't encountered any marauding monsters during my little excursion." You sighed, guilt pooling your conscience.
He sniffled, "So, you're not going to leave me?"
"Can I even go anywhere when you have a sharp sense of smell?"
"I'm a dragon, not a wolf." He whined, though you could still see the glint of dubious in his eyes, "Can I trust your word?"
Words never served him better than actions, you ought to show him you honor your word by affirming it through gestures.
Smiling, you offered your hand to him.
"How about you hold my hand on our way home? Will that help?" He stares at you and literally contemplated before he relented.
It's warm, much similar to your hug, but like a form of hug that has been reduced to a smaller fraction. It's still a paragon of comfort.
Surely enough, it did help his mind to be at ease. If you ever feel like he's cutting off your circulation, he is cutting your circulation by intertwining your fingers as if trying to tangle it so it won't loose.
"I'm sorry, you must think I'm stupid for cowering away just because of some stupid dark cave." He lowered his head in shame.
He's a Dragon who has greater strength than most beings, and yet he lets his fear consume him as if they can hurt him like how—
"Nonsense! Don't ever think like that or I will personally be the reason why you should fear humans." As stern as you sound, your eyes tell a different story.
Young Morax deduced this as concern, which resulted a flustered and heartwarming reaction from the boy. You were worried for him.
It shouldn't be something he's supposed to feel happy about, but your fretful intentions warranted warmth and security in his mind.
"I didn't know how oddly. . . pleasant it is to hold hands." He mused, and you responded with an amused giggle, "Here I thought only couples do this stuff, but it's really reassuring."
"It does, doesn't it? Sometimes the solution to your conflicts is in a form of validation."
Too wise for a kid, he inwardly complained, ". . .Meaning?"
You hold his other hand and stood to face him with a sequined smile, "No matter how minuscule or massive your fears are, you'll still find comfort when someone validates your feelings; to let you know that they care. It may not be the solution in some cases, but it's better than being alone in times of your vulnerability."
You leaned slightly closer, "Can I ask you a favor?" Your gaze pierced right through his soul and he can only nod absently which resulted for you to grin.
"If you see someone, friend and stranger even enemies, looking so vulnerable that they actually might cry. . ." You lifted your intertwined hands with his, ". . .Make them feel significant."
A cold midnight wind whisked past the both of you, your eyes shone brighter than jewels and stars alike as you spoke those words that made a huge impact in his life.
". . .Even if my enemies are about to cry because I'm about to end their miserable lives?"
What a way to ruin the moment.
"You know what I mean, Mora." You deadpan, preparing to let go of his hand, but his grip is much stronger and it only tightens once he feels you're trying to detach.
"I'm afraid you have to elaborate further, Y/N. And please, I only have two syllables in my name. What's so hard in including the X?" In contrast to his words, he quite enjoys hearing his nickname.
"The X is not even a syllable, Mora."
That time, young Morax found peace.
He's always on the hunt for something new, something glimmering, something incredible, something undiscovered and something bedazzling. That's how his childlike brain thinks and he seizes anything outwardly beautiful.
But he never knew how amazing it was to see something— or rather, to see someone's beauty on the inside.
Perhaps that's what draws him to you, because of your voice, patience and understanding. He would never admit it though
To him, you're beautiful inside and out, almost perfect, even your flaws are easy to love.
He can't deny he wasted a few immortal years just mourning your death, you'd probably scold him.
Within those years, he's only reliving the memories and wise words you have with him. He wanted to come out as a better person after your death, take it as an honour of your passing.
You made him for what he is.
If he hadn't met you he'd still be the intolerable, impatient and disrespectful person as he grows up.
He'd still fear the unknown, never having the courage to take risks and accept whatever outcomes.
Everything he does always brings him back to you, his actions always correlates to something that's relevant about you. It had always been you.
He prays the Celestia to let you know you will always be apart of his person. Yes, you died, but every lingering piece of you still remains intact in the deep recesses of his mind.
He has moved on, but you remain the person he loved the most. Not even the sands of time has the capability to change that.
"How disastrous. People can be really simple-minded." Morax rubbed both of his temples once he heard the speculation of him and Guizhong plausible relationship.
"I apologize on their behalf, it never crossed my mind they'll be quick to make assumptions." The fair Goddess bowed in shame.
"You have done nothing wrong to spark such rumors, Guizhong. If anything, it is I who should seek forgiveness for I have tied you down with such unpleasant gossips."
She meekly chuckles, "If we're going to paint ourselves as the culprit then we might as well work together to quell the rumors."
His perfectly lined eyebrows knitted, which didn't go unnoticed by Guizhong, "What seems to be troubling your mind?"
A few seconds ticked by before he let out a whisper that only Barbatos can only hear thanks to his wind. For Guizhong who has keen sense of hearing, "If Y/N was here I'll gear up for another war just to extinguish this spreading rumors." She stifled a laugh.
Oh, she knows alright. She knows you. She knows the person who captivated Morax's heart, it's all about he talks to her in their leisure time and you're not a secret between their comrades.
Most people would find it dull to listen about someone's life unless it held any merit to pass onto the other mouth, she would too. But Morax describes you like a protagonist of a fairy tale, like some mythical being, caught between two worlds, a miracle of existence that racked his existence— which makes you an interesting person
She was so eager to meet you, it was rather unfortunate that you've already passed on uncountable years ago.
"Where are you going?" She inquired as the Geo Archon whisk passed her, "Out to visit an old friend. I won't be returning until tomorrow dawn."
She sighed, a corresponding smile soon follows as she took over his job for the meantime.
Morax walked through the barren areas in Mt. Tianheng, it became part of his leisure activities during the day when his mind needs to detach itself from reality and let himself be swayed by the memories he tucked in the deep recesses of his mind.
Memories of his late comrades who perished in the horrors of war and the most painful but nostalgic one; Y/N.
He ruefully sighed at the thought of you. Even in death, you have full grasp of his heart and shroud his head with your image.
Filtered beams of light accented the spaces between the ancient trees that twisted like spires from the undergrowth. Golden leaves littered the forest floor as Morax appraised the trail of mycelium path, one leading to a particular tree.
His expression remains unchanging, at least that's what he thought, any stranger sees him they'll stop to ponder what made this godly man smile so fondly.
A single maple leaf flow with the breeze, swaying in inconsistent direction until it falls in his gloved hand. The rich color of autumn and texture brings him back in his youthful days.
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[ cttro papercider on Twitter ]
"Ah! All I do is reminisce to pass time." He muttered to himself as he let the leaf get carried away by the zither winds once again.
"It certainly has been awhile, Y/N. I was but a petulant child since I've visited you. I now stand here as the Geo Archon." It has been a habit to come back to this specific tree and treats it as his home.
It's a sacred place he's closely attached to, he can perfectly picture his young self failing to spy on you. He grimaced at the memory when he was caught in the act.
"I still have no idea why you let me trail your shadows, you weren't least afraid that I'm a dragon. You told me you're fascinated, but. . . was that the only reason?"
Only the breeze answered for him with nothing, "If you hadn't allowed me to do so I do not know what kind of person I would be as of today." He steps closer and pulled off his hood.
He let the silence hang for minutes, maybe even hours. Just standing there as he appreciates what nature has to offer in the place where his story began with you.
"Are you proud of me? My comrades claimed they were more than proud to stand alongside with me, but I doubt the veracity of their words when I led them to their demise. Is it that prideful to have me as a friend when I bring nothing but misfortune?"
He finally sat down between the roots of the tree, relishing the blissful comfort as the sunlight accentuates his godly features.
"I met a boy who was being manipulated by an evil god who only desires power and selfish gains." He began.
"He was a fierce warrior, strong and capable, the manipulation only fuels him to be at his strongest form. I was thinking of eradicating him, but his eyes already looked so dead. It reminded me of. . ."
He holds his tongue and shuts his eyes as he's in pain, "It would be one of my greatest regrets if I had impaled my spear into him."
"I thought of you that time. Hadn't it been to my promise to you, I wouldn't have gained a new ally. Xiao is his name."
The wind blew stronger, ". . . I forgot you can summon him just by calling out his name." He chuckles to himself.
Green statics cracked into the air and quickly revealed a masked man with his polearm readied for any danger.
"Settle down now. I apologize, your name slipped in my mouth." The young Yaksha visibly looked confused even under the layers of his mask.
"I was narrating a story to my old friend Y/N."
Guizhong couldn't have been more right.
By the end of the day, Xiao now knows every detail there is to know about the person called Y/N. It's what Morax ever talk to him.
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"Mr. Zhongli is in a very elated mood ever since you told him Archon knows what, Traveler." Hu Tao, the Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor finds the situation quite absurd to look at, but never impossible. His mood just feels out of place.
Who looks at mournful families with an eccentric smile on their face as they consult them about their loved one's death?
"Why does Paimon feel like you're pointing finger at the traveler?" She puts her tiny hands on tiny her hips like a mother hen.
The Traveler let out a nervous laugh, "I wonder what exactly brought him in such high spirit with my words."
"Ooh... Paimon thinks it's about Y/N. Isn't it obvious by now?" Hu Tao furrowed her eyebrows, "Y/N? You mean the Adventurer?" Both heads snapped at her direction, "You know them?"
She reluctantly shrugged, "Only at acquaintance level. They showed interest in business and I taught them a few things." She smiled at the epilogue of her statement.
"If they ever come back, my hunch tells me you'd find them in Wangshu Inn, they frequented there before." She added before turning her attention to a new customer.
Zhongli, who's been eavesdropping, perked up at the claims. Perhaps he should visit Xiao tonight and totally won't inquire if he ever met you before.
Midnight falls and Zhongli bid his farewell to the traveler before heading towards the Wangshu Inn.
For some unknown reason, Zhongli could sense the foreboding feeling that's nagging his instincts as he gets closer to his desired destination, yet he doesn't stop. What's worse is that he doesn't know if it's for the good or bad.
All of a sudden, a harsh breeze blew past his face as if the winds attempting to convey a message that's only for his intuition to decipher, for him to meander.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his statue glowing bright blue, but that wasn't what caught his attention. A hand reached out to touch the stone statue.
A mop of [H/C] facing him backward bowed down in respect of the late Rex Lapis, but Zhongli could feel a much more intense feeling.
Something stirs inside him, he remembers this situation— when he watched Y/N with such fascination from above the tree, not knowing what they look like, yet they never fail to express their feelings through threaded words he finds so wondrous to hear.
In contrary to that, the person appears to be. . . forlorn. He stepped closer until he's only less than five meters away from them.
All of a sudden, he feels skittish around the person. It's as if he doesn't want to leave a bad first impression, he's suddenly self-conscious of his looks, and Zhongli never cared about his outer appearance.
Then they spoke, in a solemn voice.
"See you later, Mora. I hope you found your eternal peace."
There are times when you wish you'd forget Morax, some that you don't. But still, in the birth of new beings, you will find Morax in his next life. The prospect of being alone is a phobia you can't ever overcome unless you have Morax.
What a joke. It should've been a farewell. Your final goodbye to your old friend. Not a hopeless see you later.
It took you months to come with that mindset, only to end up saying what's the exact opposite.
It was difficult to come back in Liyue, every step adds a new pile of memory that drags you further into the depths of agony. Every where you look reminds you of the late Geo Archon. Each encouraging word in your mind gets trampled on by his image.
You consider it as an achievement to stand tall in front of his statue after his death, and a failure that you didn't get to bid your final words to him before you depart from Liyue.
You're still clinging to a nonexistent hope that you'll actually get to see him even after your death. Old habits die hard they say. It couldn't have been more relatable than now.
Sighing in disappointment, you retracted your hand from the statue and briskly turn around when you felt the disturbance behind you.
A gloved hand suspended in the air seems to be trying to reach out to you. As you raise your eyes to meet the oh-so-familiar glowing amber eyes that you grew to love. . .
You offered the stranger a faux smile, seemingly naive to the person standing in front of you with an aghast expression.
You failed to realize Morax as Zhongli just as Morax failed to realize you in your different lives.
"Hello. How may I help you?"
Oh, how the tables have turned.
Time has stopped, both hands of the clock moved counterclockwise, bringing him back to the time he first laid his eyes on you— so unsuspecting from what's about to unravel after a sweet hello.
His broadened eyes are solely fixated on you, it ingnited a feeling he couldn’t immediately identify, a sense of a certain and long-forgotten familiarity fogged his memory.
From the color of your eyes, skin and hair. The subtle furrow of your eyebrows and the upturn of your lips. The gentle facade that compelled him to indulge his curiosity towards you.
Y/N. . . Are you the Y/N the traveler was talking about?
But you bare no resemblance to the Y/N he knew, yet he can tell how it is your soul residing in the mortal's body. It is you. Your eyes aren't the ones that welcomed him as new friend. It feels different.
You're smiling while your eyes are grieving.
Your eyes failed to conceal your weeping soul and could only hope the last bits of its strength will keep it standing until someone reach a hand to put back the shattered pieces.
Behind that gleeful stare was a mountain of pain and extracting it would bring instability to the person who would dare to climb. Yet come what may, you're always worth any risk.
He lowered his hand to shake yours, his lips upturned into an enigmatic smile.
Your heart went erratic and the usually dormant butterflies imploded in your stomach. You haven't felt like a teenager since. . .
You felt your breath hitch in your throat when suddenly, with a mere handful of strides, the beautiful man was standing right in front of you, his amber eyes searching your face intently, trying to find whatever it was he was seeking.
"My name is Zhongli, I'm a consultant in Wangsheng Funeral Parlor." Your [E/C] eyes blinked surreptitiously before accepting it. What a beautiful name, you thought almost immediately.
Under normal circumstances you would've strictly reprimanded the man with his incongruous advances, but you felt something else, something so powerful it overshadowed your senses.
It was a need, an unyielding need to be close to him.
Rather than pushing him away, something inside you stirs awake and begin to implore to coalesce with his existence.
"I'm Y/N L/N, an adventurer."
So it is really you.
He briefly looks down to their intwined hands.
For countless nights, the image of your bloodied hand reaching out to him as you take your last breath plagued his every dream. The tender, soft hands that will no longer bring him comfort. The hand of the person whom he loved so dearly, whom he failed to protect against the wicked ways of the world.
The intense urge to hide you away from the prying eyes that shared similarities to his kept his mind in shambles.
Which what led him to mumble to you what his thoughts are repeating like a mantra.
When he spoke the promise he'll show you what's up at the highest altitude his wings could go, he was mostly speaking out of his selfish desire to hold onto your hand and fly you away to the farthest place no living creatures have ever stumbled upon.
He had to learn it the hard way; that the greater you wish for something, the crueler fate can be. Maybe if he hadn't been so greedy you could've live your mortal life.
Now that you are standing in front of him, shaking your hand, he can amend his mistake by straying far away from you before he repeats history itself, before he could inflict pain on you again.
And yet, looking at you attempting to shoulder the boulders of life is what all it takes for all the wisdom he garnered for centuries to be thrown out the window.
He can't imagine himself distancing from you when you're suffering and have no one comfortable enough to share your burdens with, no one to validate your feelings, no one to embrace you in your vulnerable times.
You taught him to be compassionate, to not disregard emotions, and he's about to set that in motion. You were there when he needed you the most, offered your shoulder to vent out his feelings, it's about time to let him do what you always did for him.
It became abundantly clear he's not willing to let you go through anything alone just like he had gone through without you.
"You claim you're a consultant. Did you perhaps think I'm a potential customer?"
He let go of your hand as much as he loathes being away from your warmth for even just a second, he's still convinced you can be taken away from him at any given moment.
"Indeed, I couldn't stand idle and watch you grieve alone." He watches how you averted your eyes as if hiding the pain would appease your mind.
"I appreciate the thought. . . though, I highly doubt it'll be effective."
He mentally chuckled at the irony. He, too, was once amazed of what simple gestures can bring to a downhearted person.
"Hmm. An old friend once showed me how to console a person. Allow me to share their insights."
Your eye brows perched in curiosity, this man speaks like he's in his 50s or something, ". . .If you insist. I could use a company for now."
Morax experienced eons of desires to attain what he wishes to, though he refrains from being blinded by those greedy thoughts as he had witnessed how cruel fate can be when he once desired to have you. Will history repeat itself?
Zhongli chortles in response, but his expression soon turned nostalgic, "I may not know what adversities you're facing nor do I know who you are, but know that you're never alone."
His smile never left his face as he takes off his glove and held the palm face forward to you, he watches how your eyes glisten with unshed tears, "W-What is that supposed to convey?"
You didn't even notice how much gap he closed just to increase the proximity between the both of you. Archons! You can smell the lingering scent of Osmanthus Wine mingling with his breath!
Is he a drunkard like Venti?
Perhaps this man is drunk to comprehend his actions, perhaps he won't remember this the never next day, perhaps he has mistaken you for someone else, perhaps—
"Wherever you wish to go, I'll keep you company. I dare ask if I may hold your hand along the way, Y/N?"
Perhaps there's hope you can cling onto until your aching heart is at ease.
Your hand found its way to his, almost too desperate to not let this moment of comfort vanish. Just this once, you thought to yourself as the man smiled with absolute glee that it puts the sun in shame.
Out of reflex, your fingers laced with his, wanting nothing more than to relieve in the warmth of his hand. His expression soon turned into a priceless one as if he's in disbelief that you actually just did that, and that alone made the realization struck you harder than Raiden's lightning and fried your nerves with embarrassment.
"I-I'm so-sorry! I didn't mean to get too comfortable!"
You're a stranger to him, and you acted as if you've been a longtime friends. He must have been feeling uncomfortable, you nervously thought as you quickly tried reel back your hand in an attempt to salvage whatever budding acquaintanceship you have.
Keyword; tried.
Your action prompts him to retaliate by locking his fingers in place, keeping your hand sealed with his and shot you a reassuring smile.
"Do not fret. I'm delighted to know I somehow earned a little fraction of your trust. It's only fair to mirror the trust you gave me."
As if to spell out his point, he held up your intertwined hands just below your chin. His eyes blazed with a newfound emotion you couldn't decipher. He almost looks eager. He was gripping your hand, not too tight, but firm enough give emphasize of something.
His action wasn't fruitless as it gained a reaction from you. Your eyebrows twitched, there's something too familiar about it, but your memory refuses to give you that answer.
Instead, you could only mutter weak responses, "I-I understand, but if you feel uncomfortable in any way then don't hesitate to point out what I'm doing wrong."
Whether it was a satisfying answer he wants to hear, his emotions betrayed to even give you a brief answer and his face only lit up as he turns away from you, "You could never do anything wrong in my eyes."
Did he just say something? "What was that?"
"Nothing. Are you new in Liyue? I could give you a tour if you'd like to make you familiarize with the environment."
Your lips turned into a genuine smile, it didn't reach your ears but something tells you this man will lengthen it until you're the happiest person alive, "I'd love to, Zhongli."
As the wind blows to the East, a new chapter has began with a new retelling of their unfinished story. Until the last maple leaf falls and the oldest standing tree drought, two souls will always find their way to rekindle what has been lost.
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>> PART III
─ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. @itsyourgirlria @shizunxie @elsoleil @cherlynono @slzarr @katsuissus @tartarsaucechi1de @spyanya @tikitsune @shoujishu @useless-potatho @chimsblogg @xiamuyi @lemonlimesocks @belletifeshyl @alexon-mars @multifandomvoyage @malt-rants-and-stuff @jameineliebe @angelkazusstuff @orginiallyann @eissaaaa @beezgobuzzbuzz @towos @kamukayakmonyet @atsukawolfcat @sunflowers1970 @yamtwt @avery-needs-more-fics @angstylittleb1tch @bigcandlesmolbrain @lxmine @imk1ra @fauxizs @islxisl @chihawari @bishishbored @yuuki4646 @sunsethw4 @princeabomination @alexiris @chocolateneapolitan @ayra2452008 @akaritenchi @sophiee-bush @ittosoneandoniwife @alatus2716 @almighty-raiden-shogunate
(it's my first time doing tags so pls inform me if it's not working, idk why the others are white, did I do something wrong??)
PS. if you want to get tagged for the next part or be removed then simply comment it TAGLIST is for the readers who want to be updated for my future genshin works.
─ 𝐀/𝐍. Can you all smell that? *sniff sniff* I smell a Xiao ver. of this 👀👀 Fr, I didn't expect the fic will be loved that much as I initially thought, I received many appreciative comments and messages which is what motivated me to write part 2, and possibly part 3 (just for the fluff) since this was supposed to be a series but I crossed that idea out until everyone broke my expectation. Thank you💜💙 and merry christmas everyone ❤💚
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vroomvroomwee · 5 months
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God the queer experience of meeting wonderful people who are actually kind, compassionate, and thoughtful. Becoming close friends. But still feeling this deep sense of otherness. This deep dissonance between you and them that stems from the fact that they have no idea who you are.
It fucking hurts to have these people hang out with you and like you, and knowing deep down that they won't like the REAL you, but instead this masked persona that you put up for the sake of your own safety. It hurts knowing that every time you talk to them, you know that they're talking to someone else. That someone else is pushing you back and making conversation with your friends. Stealing them from you.
And it's not like we have much choice. People constantly say oh find other queer people, oh just make trans friends, oh you need a community. As if it's that easy. As if we don't already desperately long for some form of recognition, of connection. As if we don't claw our hearts out every night because we want the space next to us to be occupied. To be understood. To be valued. To be worth a damn. To be loved. Some of us just don't have that choice.
It hurts that I can't be friends with these lovely people because of the hand I was dealt. And yeah, I'm ready to hear the "if they don't accept the real you, then they were never lovely people to begin with." True. That's true. But I'm not oblivious to the fact that if I was cishetallo then I would actually have friends. And feel known. And feel seen.
I know we're supposed to love ourselves no matter what and these days you'll basically be torn apart if you so much as insinuate that you're not proud of your identity. But goddammit I'm not. It's hard. And I know trans is beautiful. And queer is beautiful. And it's liberating. But I just wish they knew it too. And it's fucking lonely
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xhmeusworld · 3 months
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a perfectly good heart | jeon wonwoo
genre: angst, comfort! bf wonwoo, established relationship
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pairings: jeon wonwoo x gender neutral reader
warnings: reader is going through a difficult time, mentions of depression, and reader makes a comment about not wanting to exist
word count: 871
note: lately life has just been throwing me for a loop and as a result, i wrote this. i just want everyone to know that you have a purpose in life. regardless of how big or small, it means so much that you are here and my messages are always open to talk.
no one understands another’s pain. not truly.
words and actions can only explain so much, but no matter what someone says, the extensiveness of the pain can not be conveyed. that’s what you thought.
but as jeon wonwoo held you against him, he swore he could feel everything. the pure turmoil and agony. it felt like his soul was on fire, the flames forcing their way out and racing across his limbs.
the shakes that tore through your body and the struggled breaths through the tears made him hold you tighter, wanting to do anything to provide some sort of comfort. some sort of relief to the despair you felt.
instead, he felt helpless. what could he do? did he have the power to do anything? he wanted to tell you that everything you believed about yourself was wrong. he wanted to tell you that your brain was lying. he wanted to tell you so many things, but he wasn’t even sure if you could hear him right now.
your words from earlier rang in his ears.
“life has no set timeline. I understand that. I hear that every single day from so many people and it’s supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn’t. because then I think about it in terms of years and the longer I am floating around without a plan or a goal, the less likely I am to feel connected to everyone around me. I don’t want to be left behind. I don’t want to be the friend that is left alone; still wandering through life while everyone else has careers.”
the future was a scary thought. wonwoo understood that. the unknown of where you could end up in five years was terrifying, especially with no set plan. but sometimes things like this were meant to happen. maybe you were being led onto another path that you just didn’t know about yet.
“and I feel like I’m such a bad friend to literally everyone. i can hardly muster up the courage or energy to speak to some of closest friends. they have reached out, but i just find myself unable to reply and it hurts because i know the despair i’m feeling is my fault. i am so mentally weak. cutting everyone off makes my soul hurt so bad because I don’t want to hurt anyone, but my brain keeps constantly saying over and over that I’m a burden. I’m annoying. if i reach out, I’m taking time away from their lives; interrupting whatever important thing they have going on. and even through all of this, i’m lonely and i’m scared that everyone will forget me. I know none of this is true. I understand that, but god, I feel so weak and helpless.”
wonwoo wanted to scream. it hurt to hear you admit how lonely you felt and he instantly felt guilty himself as a result of his touring schedule, but you were in no way a burden to him or anyone else in your life. you just weren’t. there was absolutely no way you could be to the l people who loved you the most in the world. you weren’t weak or helpless. you were just scared. he wanted to tell you, he wanted to engrain into your head, that fear was normal. nothing was wrong with you being afraid.
“i’m a disappointment to my parents; to everyone that believed in me. I used to be so happy and now I feel incredibly stupid and I’m just filled with regret and anger. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I wish I was one of those people who knew exactly what they are doing with their life, but I’m not and I hate it. instead, i’m here with a void in my heart.”
your voice was thick with tears that you were desperately trying to hold back. wonwoo thought you were going to start sobbing right then, but somehow you managed to keep your composure to talk once again.
“i’m just so ashamed myself. I’m so utterly and truly an embarrassment and a failure that sometimes I’m even afraid to face you.”
that’s when your boyfriend grabbed your face, forcing you to make eye contact with him as he insisted almost angrily that you weren’t a failure. you were doing what was best for you. you were trying to take it one day at a time. there was no shame or crime in that. wonwoo was so proud of his person. so so very proud.
“i see no light or hope at the end of the tunnel right now”
these were the last words you spoke before you fully broke down, burying your face into his chest.
and no matter what you thought, jeon wonwoo could feel your pain and he held you tightly against him, tears streaming down his cheeks as well. his grasp tightened with each one of your sobs in hopes that if he only held on a little stronger, maybe he would be able to put you back together. he kissed the top of your head. he whispered that you were safe and loved and that you weren’t alone.
because he knew it hurt to be alone.
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balkanradfem · 1 year
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Do you ever think about how sad and messed up it is to grow up in this world as a little girl who likes to read. Because you are a child, and you don't get that there's a difference in who writes the books, you read everything you like, you read the adventures and the fantasy and the mysteries and the traumatic stuff and if you're also very isolated and lonely, these books build your worldview. Because why wouldn't they? They're written by humans, so they have the attitudes, opinions, perceptions, morals and spirits of human beings in them, they're telling you what humans think and feel about things, how they go about situations, what they imagine, what they desire. What your role in all this is, or what it could potentially be.
But, since you are not capable of differentiating the material, and you just read what is available to you, you end up reading a lot of books written by m*n. You also have to go thru the required reading at school - 90% written by m*n. And so slowly, since young age, without even socializing or learning it thru interaction, you find yourself in a world shaped by minds who do not have empathy for women, especially not for little girls. You find yourself relating to the male protagonists, but you also find out that girls only play a passive role in their stories. You find that m*n problems are centered, made important, their suffering and violence critical points in the story, while women are cast aside as helpers, servants, givers, caretakers, and generally just exist in the background, not a thought given to what they are going thru.
You learn thru books written by m*n, that your experience is secondary. Even if you cast yourself as the adventuring, immensely important and struggling protagonist, even then the other women in your mind end up being just background characters, caregivers who do not need a thought spared for their suffering.
Books written by m*n, even for children, will trivialize female suffering to the point where they shape the child's mind into one that looks at the world from a male perspective. Where women either don't matter, or are capable only of giving and aiding, to be cast aside for more important matters, such as male aspirations for their own lives.
Thinking back, I understand why I felt myself unimportant and trivial in any social setting - I understood my role from the written word, and I knew adults found me trivial, secondary, only a background figure to someone else's adventure or mission. As much as I could fight it in my fantasies, and make myself the main character, it felt like a pipe dream, like something that was incredible self-indulged and selfish and would never translate to reality.
I wish it had been different. I wish I had been introduced specifically and only to books written by women, for women. I wish I had found empathy for myself in those books. I wish I had found myself standing on high ground, equal ground, with other women, our desires centered, our lives translated into tales of epic importance - because that's what they are. I wish I had been born into a world where female perspective is available from the start, not after years of growing up and finding feminist literature and having to re-write my own role in my brain, from all of those years of reading male perspective as the default.
I don't think any little girl should be exposed to literature that shape her world as a place where she doesn't matter. I don't think books written by males and shaped by their worldview should be allowed into children's literature, or teenage or for young adults. Girls should not be learning from fiction that their most important value is empathy and understanding for male problems, and their second, to be desired and/or helpful to them, all while being treated as nothing but service and background noise until you're desired for something. We need to open books and find out that we matter too. That our lives can be the center of our existence, rather than being in the service of someone else's life.
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x0x0josephinex0x0 · 6 months
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touch-starved | min yoongi
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we are going to ignore how every single one of my writings has nightmares in them, i personally experience very vivid nightmares on occasion so i guess art imitates life or whatever. also we're gonna ignore that this is the second bodyguard imagine i've written, this one was a request so it's a little less embarrassing but still is a little but not enough that i won't post it on the internet because i know y'all shameless too. here we have bodyguard!yoongi x celebrity fem!reader. warnings: stalking/stalkers (not yoongi this is not a yandere situation sorry), mentions of loneliness, a nightmare (obvs its me writing duh), horror movie mentioned...........idk if there's anything else but please do lmk
There is a soft knock at the hotel room door. You check the peephole to see Yoongi standing there, tapping rhythmically on his leg as he waits for you to let him in.
“Well, as far as I can tell, you’re not being followed,” he says as he enters, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it onto the chair by the sofa.
You sit on the sofa, rubbing your temples. “Well, that’s a relief,” you say tiredly.
“All this trouble for a guy you’re not even dating,” Yoongi says mildly, but he’s looking at you with his curious eyes, trying to gauge your mood.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever even talked to him,” you agree, flopping listlessly onto your side. “Remind me never to smile at anyone in public ever again.”
He smiles. “Or wear similar outfits, or go to the same places,” he adds, his eyes gentle. Then he leans against the sofa, facing the wall. “It’s not your fault, though.”
“I know,” you sigh. “You know, I kind of wish it was real,” you admit.
“Why? You like the guy?” Yoongi asks sharply.
“Not really,” you muse. “I mean, he is handsome. But it’s really that if I were in a relationship, it would mean that someone got close enough to me to like me.”
“I know you,” he responds indignantly. “And I like you.”
“You’re my bodyguard. You are paid to like me, so it doesn’t count,” you protest.
Yoongi shakes his head, annoyed. “On a good day,” he says scathingly, “I’d like you even if you weren’t paying me.”
“That’s the nicest thing you ever said to me,” you say, and the tension in the room dissolves as Yoongi gives you a smirk. “Who knew it would be so lonely to be a celebrity,” you say lightly, unable to escape a twinge of bitterness in your voice.
“It’s not all bad,” Yoongi reminds you, nodding out the massive windows at the spectacular skyline view.
You smile at the setting sun. “True,” you allow. “This part I like.” You watch for a few minutes as the sun sinks almost imperceptibly lower. “You must think I’m so spoiled.”
Yoongi shrugs. “I can see how there would be drawbacks. Personal privacy is a luxury that only poor people can afford.”
You tsk at him. “You’re talking in riddles again,” you scold. “It’s a condition at this point. You should really have it checked.”
He grins. “Just say you aren’t smart enough to understand,” he shoots back.
You chuckle, loving the back-and-forth. “Just say you have to pretend to be smart by using big words,” you retaliate.
He bows, his grin wider, as if to say, “you won this round”. “So,” he says, going to the mini fridge and popping a can of soda open. “What shall it be tonight, madame?”
You crinkle your nose in disgust at his butler-like tone. “Something spooky. In honor of fall,” you tell him, handing him the remote.
When he had become your bodyguard two years ago, at the recommendation of your agency, you had learned that he was required to work long into the night at your side. Feeling bad, you had started to watch movies every night when he came around so that he’d at least have something to do. Your relationship had come a long way — he had started out watching the movies from the back of the room, standing by the door, to now, sitting beside you on the sofa. This was representative of your relationship as well — when you had first met he was cold and professional, but now the two of you bantered back and forth in a way that was comfortable and easy. You really couldn’t remember ever feeling so comfortable with anyone, in fact.
It was hard to know when your less responsible feelings for him had begun. Truthfully, you suspected that you had just developed an unhealthy attachment to the only person you spent time around, but there were nights when you’d watch him writing in a little pocket-sized notebook, his long hair falling in front of his face, and imagine how it might have been if you’d met in a normal way — at a college somewhere, where he’d bring you a juice every day and help you study for exams. Now, there was barely a way to tell if what you felt when you saw him — that accelerated heart rate, that quiet thrum of energy in your mind — was real, or if it came from your own foolishness.
You watch him now — his face in the dying sunlight is so pretty you’re almost jealous, and the feeling in your chest pulses in a way that is almost painful. He turns on the TV and scrolls through shows until he finds a promising title: some horror film about an old woman in a spooky old house with a mysterious secret. As you begin the movie he has his arms folded, watching with veiled interest. But he notices the first time you flinch.
“Scared already?” he teases.
“You don’t miss a trick,” you say ruefully. “Pay attention.” You gesture to the screen.
About fifteen minutes later, there’s a knock at the door that corresponds perfectly to a jump scare in the movie, and you yelp in fright. Yoongi gets up, brow furrowed. “Are you expecting anyone?” he asks.
You shake your head no. He looks through the peephole and curses. “It’s your stalker again,” he grumbles, pulling out his cell phone. “Hey, Harvey,” he says, and his voice is calm, but you can tell he’s angry. “I need you to come up to the room and grab something. I was hoping it had already been taken care of.”
The voice of the hotel security team lead says something unintelligible, and Yoongi thanks them before hanging up. He slides the two chains into their places on the door and takes a door jam from his pocket, wedging it between the door and the floor. He grins at your wide eyes. “Don’t worry, milady,” he says, “he can’t get in even if he figures out how to unlock the door.”
“But what if he did get in?” you whisper, spooked.
He shrugs. “I’d kill him,” he replies.
“For real?!” you squeak,
“No,” he says with an eye roll. “But I would incapacitate him in record time. That dude is a wimp.”
He seems to notice you’re nervous, and his eyes soften. “Don’t worry,” he says quietly. “I’ll take care of you.”
When he sits back down, he sits closer to you than normal. Your legs are touching. You look at him quizzically and he smiles. “It’s a small couch,” he says, throwing an arm up over the back of the couch — not around your shoulders, but close enough that you’re blushing.
You try to focus on the movie, but you find that despite your anxiety, you’re beginning to nod off. Almost automatically, you find yourself leaning toward Yoongi’s warmth, and your head finds his shoulder. Giving in to the exhaustion, you find yourself in dreams.
It’s not long before the dreams turn dark. You have been prone to bad dreams as a result of your overactive imagination, but these are more solid than your usual nightmares — stealing from reality and stretching it so that teeth are too long, smiles are too wide, and the hands that reach for you are too strong. You wake up with a gasp.
You’re in your bed. You flick on the bedside lamp and put a hand to your chest, breathing deeply, still anxious. When a soft voice calls your name, you nearly jump out of your skin. Yoongi has poked his head into your bedroom, and is now looking at you in amusement. “It’s just me,” he says, stepping inside. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you say, trying to recover, although your voice still shakes. “I just had a bad dream.”
He grins. “No more falling asleep to horror movies,” he says in a fake-stern voice. “Do you need anything?”
“I think I’d like if you stayed with me a minute,” you confess, your voice quiet, looking at your hands. You are more nervous he’ll say no than you are about the dreams.
When you finally meet his gaze, his expression is unreadable. He walks silently to the side of your bed and sits down beside you. You can’t help but admire how the lamplight casts an alluring shadow on his face before he does something unexpected.
He reaches out, and without looking at you, slips your hand in his.
You stare at him. He has never done this before — never touched you when he could avoid it. You’d always been grateful and a bit disappointed about this. You knew he should keep his distance and simultaneously wished he wouldn’t. To say you’re startled wouldn’t even begin to cover it.
And yet, holding his hand is soothing. You feel your fear fade away, and in a moment of boldness, give his hand a shy squeeze.
He looks at you, then at your interlocked hands. He takes a deep breath. “Well, I need to quit my job.”
This revelation is shocking. “Why?” you ask, suddenly panicked. “If I did something — I mean, I’m sorry if I crossed a line —“
He puts a finger to your lips. “You haven’t done anything wrong,” he says gently.
“Then stay with me,” you say, knocking his hand away from your lips.
“I can’t work for you when I feel the way I do about you,” he explains, almost in a pleading tone.
"What are you talking about?" you ask.
"I love you," he blurts.
You gape at him. "What?"
He blushes. "You heard me."
You look at his hand in your hand, and then back to him. "Are you serious?" you ask him, unable to keep a smile from your voice.
He rolls his eyes. "If you're just gonna make me keep repeating myself, this conversation isn't going to go anywhere." He stands up and places your hand back into your lap. "I'll give you some time to process."
You leap out of bed and follow him. "Wait a minute," you say, grabbing his hand. "How do you know you love me?" you ask him, your eyes searching his.
Yoongi blushes, but he looks a little pleased that you've grabbed his hand. "Well," he says, slowly digesting your question, "I think it's pretty easy to know. Of everyone I've ever met and spent time with, I've never enjoyed being around anyone the way I like being around you. Nobody makes me smile like you do, and nobody makes me crazier."
You blink. "Well, I feel all those things about you."
He raises his eyebrows. "You do?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, I don't have many real friends," you explain, "but I'd rather stay in with you and watch movies than go out, or go anywhere really."
"You would?" he asks.
You give him a pointed look. "Now who's repeating themselves?"
He shakes his head. "I'm just shocked. Are you saying you love me back?"
You look at him, trying to find the answer yourself. Your heart is pounding harder than it did at any scary movie, and the heat of his gaze is making you feel flushed and squirmy. You struggle for words. "I --"
Yoongi throws his jacket and keys onto the couch, and in one swift movement he pulls you into his chest. He places his hand on your cheek. "What do you feel right now?" he whispers, his lips inches from yours.
"It's hard to know," you whisper back. "Completely crazy, but somehow calm. Entirely safe, but terrified. It's like I'm on top of something very high, but wearing a harness."
He gives you a tender smile. "That sounds like love to me." And then he kisses you.
You cling to him as he presses a kiss to your lips, then your cheeks and jaw and nose and forehead. Sighing in relief, you melt into his arms, enjoying the feeling of being adored. After he finishes kissing you, he holds you in his arms for awhile, running his hand down your back in soothing motions.
You carefully monitor your feelings as he holds you, realizing that after all this time alone, you could be a bit out of touch with them. You feel a lot of things -- wild and alive and a little dizzy -- but the undercurrent of your feelings is peace and quiet. It feels right.
"You do need to quit," you say suddenly.
He pulls back. "Why?" he asks, shocked.
"Because I do love you back, and I'm not about to pay my boyfriend to hang out with me," you say. "That's pathetic, even for me."
He laughs, tucking your hair behind your ear. "As you wish, love."
"You can hire your replacement in the morning," you say, kissing him again.
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