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#it's not even an embarrassing or sensitive topic
cerealmonster15 · 1 year
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u ever get that like emotional paralysis of doing things Only For Fun but ur like Fearing Ur Own Potential Cringe despite being in the privacy of ur own home and no one’s even seeing what ur up to
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embarrassed today
so yesterday i joined some discord servers bc we gotta battle the anxiety also i want to make some friends, generally the effect was me feeling like vomiting bc i wrote 'hi'.
either way, time skip, we have today, writing with some person on one of them and mentioning i feel a bit sick after p.e., in answer to if ive been to a doctor about it, i said that i think its probably because of my diet and generally poor physical endurance so running isnt really for me, and like some mod said that hey talking about dieting is banned here, i clarified that i meant eating habits, later found out that 'eating disorders' also includes just mentioning i have any eating issues??? like i know its kinda obvious but idk. im kinda used to 'eating disorder' not including just limited food palate due to sensory issues.
yeah. anyway not talking on that server for at least a day god i feel so fucking bad after this.
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makoodles · 4 months
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ミ stay for something
🍓 pairing: kyle 'gaz' garrick x fem reader
🍓 tags: nsfw, ex-boyfriend!gaz, unprotected vaginal sex, lack of communication, jealousy, 'just the tip' trope, sex with feelings
masterlist
reblogs are always enormously appreciated!
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You hate wasting a Friday night on a first date, but you had genuinely high hopes for this one. You had made such an effort, too; pretty sparkly eyeshadow, strawberry-flavoured lipgloss, a new little black dress.
You look good. You feel good. 
It’s just a shame that the guy is a bit of a moron. 
He talks about himself a lot over dinner. Like, so much. You sit and smile and pretend to listen, your gaze wandering, and wonder if he’s going to ask any questions about you. He does (eventually), but they’re short and perfunctory and he seems to just take your answers and use them as a springboard into his next topic of discussion.
It’s a little tedious, but hey. First dates usually are. You weather it, your polite smile turning a little stiff as you sip your wine. Truthfully, you have ulterior motives here.
You’re not proud of it, but you don’t think you can handle the dry spell you’re going through anymore. You crave touch, affection, some kind of connection. You’re okay with being single, but god you’re so hungry for intimacy that it’s led to you agreeing to a date with a guy that you honestly wouldn’t have normally been into just for the chance of getting some action.
Ben is a nice enough guy, and he’s certainly good looking; neatly groomed hair, straight white teeth, a nice physique. He’s in good shape, though you can’t help but subconsciously compare him to— 
No, you think sternly to yourself, Don’t do that.
When he leans into you at the end of the date and asks in a low, sultry voice if you want to continue the night with him, you agree a little breathlessly. God, it’s been a long time since you were touched.
Your place is closer, and you can’t help but feel a little illicit thrill as you lead Ben back. You never usually bring guys back to yours, especially not on the first date, but you’ll be the first to admit that you’re needy tonight. 
The weather is getting colder as winter creeps its icy fingers through the air, but you’re wrapped tight in your coat and kept nice and warm as Ben wraps an arm around your waist, kissing heatedly at your neck as you try to open your door.
You giggle, the wine from dinner making you all loose and happy and eager. You tilt your head to give him more of your throat, and he eagerly takes the opportunity to introduce teeth and tongue as he kisses the line of your neck. You fumble with the key, clumsy as your body heats up.
When you finally manage to turn the key and get the stupid door open, Ben grabs you by the hips and spins you around so that he can pull you into a proper kiss. The guy might have been a dull conversationalist, but you’re delighted to find that he’s a good kisser.
The two of you stumble through the door, your arms locked around his neck as he holds you by the waist. It’s a little embarrassing how eager you are for a guy that you really aren’t even all that into, but you guess that’s just where desperation has gotten you.
“Shit,” Ben hisses when you nip at his lip. “Fuck, you’re so hot. C’mere, take this off.”
He starts tugging at your coat, and you pull back just enough to shrug it off, letting it drop to the floor. He lets out a throaty sound of appreciation, before grabbing at your waist again and leaning in to trail another set of hot kisses along your neck and shoulder. 
You tilt your head back, thunking lightly against the wall, and your eyelids flutter at the nipping kisses along your sensitive skin. 
“Oh, god…” You breathe, blinking your eyes open again.
But then… you pause. For the first time, you notice that the lights in your entryway are on. Why are they on? You hadn’t turned them on when you came in, and you know that they weren’t on when you had left. 
Ben is still groping eagerly at your hips, one hand reaching around to squeeze at your ass, but now you’re distracted, on alert. Your eyes dart around, and fall on a pair of Adidas Superstars set neatly by the front door, and a big puffer coat that’s been hung up on the hook in the hall.
Oh no. No fucking way.
As if to confirm the path your thoughts had just taken, your eyes catch on a figure in the doorway to the living room, leaning casually against the doorframe. Just watching.
A scream catches in your throat, and you grab Ben by the shoulders in an attempt to stop him. He doesn’t seem to understand, because he just keeps squeezing at your ass, pulling your hips closer so that he can slot between your legs and grind against you.
The brief spark of arousal that shoots through you when he grinds his hard-on into the seam of your cunt through your underwear is significantly dampened by the awareness that someone is already in your home, watching you, and you already know who it is.
“Hey, baby,” Kyle fucking Garrick says, lifting a mug patterned with little cartoon cats to his mouth. “Had a nice night out?”
“Jesus Christ–” You hiss, shoving at Ben’s chest. This time, the push isn’t needed, because Ben has rocketed up straight at the sound of another man’s voice in your house calling you ‘baby’.
“What the–” Ben starts to say, his brow furrowing into a bewildered frown when he catches sight of Gaz standing in the doorway watching you.
“Kyle, what are you doing here?” You snap, mortified. You grab at the bottom of your short little dress, pulling roughly at it to try and make sure you’re not flashing anyone.
Gaz watches you, amusement shining in his dark eyes. He’s not even trying to hide the way his gaze is drawn to your legs, lingering where your dress has ridden up your thighs. He sips his tea, a poor attempt at concealing his smirk.
“Home from deployment earlier than expected, love.” He says, calm and casual as if he hasn’t just broken into your goddamn house to destroy any hope you had of getting railed that night. “No time to find accommodation. You don’t mind, eh?”
Ben’s head is swinging between the two of you, his expression blank as he tries to work out just what exactly is happening. He’s straightened up entirely, the presence of Gaz obviously putting him on edge. You can’t blame him for his confusion; Gaz is currently looking at you like he wants to fucking eat you alive, and you’re beginning to get hot and flustered under his stare.
“Are you–” Ben starts, his head still on a swivel as though he can’t decide who to address. “I’m sorry, who is this?”
Gaz doesn’t even bother to reply at once. He sips at his tea, and tilts his head as he lets his eyes wander over Ben lazily. It doesn’t seem like he’s all too impressed by what he sees, though he’s smirking as though he’s amused.
“Sergeant Kyle Garrick.” He says at last, with a nod.
You huff. You know what he’s doing – he never introduces himself by his rank unless he’s trying to make a point.
Ben goes stiff. He’s still pressed against you, and you can feel every ounce of tension down the line of your body. It seems like he’s just now clocking Gaz as a proper threat, and you take a breath as you realise that he’s about to split and leave you here.
And sure enough–
“I– Listen, I don’t know what’s.. what’s going on here, but I don’t want any trouble.” Ben says, finally pushing himself away from you. He’s holding his hands up by his shoulders as though he’s being held at gunpoint, and you roll your eyes impatiently at his dramatics.
“No trouble, mate.” Gaz says, his voice still cheerfully amiable. “Door’s behind you.”
“Gaz–” You hiss, incensed, but it’s pointless. 
Ben is already scrambling to open the door, heedless of the way you grasp onto his coat in protest. You sigh heavily as he tumbles out into the cold night, and the door slams shut behind him so loud it makes your head hurt.
You stand alone in your entryway, shivering a little in your tiny black dress and heels from the icy breeze that was let in from Ben’s escape. Your jaw is clenched tight, and you take a deep, deep breath as you turn to face your ex-boyfriend.
Gaz is still watching you, his deep brown eyes staring at you from beneath his long dark lashes. You try hard to ignore his expression, which is unmistakably hungry.
“You look good, baby.” He says, staring pointedly at the way your breasts are all pushed up in your tight dress. 
“Don’t call me that.” You grumble, teaching down to unbuckle your delicate heels. You cast them aside and kick them over so they’re laying beside Gaz’s runners.
Gaz just snickers, turning to follow after you when you march your way to the kitchen. Irritation is burning hot in your veins, your lips pursed as you struggle to bite your tongue. It’s so fucking typical that the exact night you try to have some cheap, meaningless sex with some stranger, Gaz has decided to land right into your home. It’s like he has a fucking radar for when you’re about to get laid.
“You could have gotten a hotel.” You snap over your shoulder as you make your way to the kettle. It’s already hot, but you flick the switch again anyway.
“Nah. They’re all booked out. Busy season, you know.”
God, he’s so full of shit. You both know he never even considered staying anywhere other than with you, just like the last few times.
Still, you persevere.
“You could have stayed with one of the guys.” You say, turning around and folding your arms over your chest.
Gaz glances down, and you realise that you’ve inadvertently pushed your breasts together and up. You hastily drop your arms again, and settle instead for planting your hands on your hips.
“Could have,” He admits, leaning against your kitchen table in a way that’s infuriatingly casual. “But they never offered.”
“Neither did I–!”
Gaz doesn’t even seem to hear you. He just steps towards you, reaching to grab an empty mug from the cupboard above your head. The movement brings him so close to you, close enough that your next inhale is scented with his fresh-sweet cologne, the one you always loved, and you find your eyelids fluttering as your muscles relax without your permission. He smells so familiar, so comforting. You hate it.
“Go get changed,” He murmurs, keeping his voice low like he knows the moment is delicate. “We’ll watch a movie.”
You’d love to get fired up, to shove him or curse at him, but it’s all you can do to find the strength to step away from him instead of melting into him. You’re pretty sure he deserves an ass-kicking for this stunt of this, but you decide to pick your battles. Or at least, to postpone them.
You waver another moment, debating over whether you should try to get the last say, but Gaz has already turned away to continue making the cup of tea that you had started. Recognising that the moment has passed, you huff a sigh and march out of the kitchen, making your way to your bedroom.
It takes quite a bit of wiggling to get out your dress – it might look good, but there’s an inordinate sense of relief when you finally tug it over your head and feel as though you can breathe unimpeded again. You unclip your bra and toss it aside, rolling your shoulders and sighing as your breasts are freed. 
Once you're dressed again in a worn-out massive t-shirt that drowns your body and some loose sweatpants, looking decidedly unsexy, you pad to your bathroom and start washing your makeup off. Now that you’re alone, that disappointment and frustration is settling in properly. Ben might have been boring, but if his kissing was anything to judge by, you might actually have had a perfectly enjoyable night with him.
Bare-faced and dressed for lounging in bed, you trudge back downstairs to your ex-boyfriend. It’s far from the way you wanted to end your night, but you’ve resigned yourself to your fate. You can hear the muffled sounds from the television as you make your way downstairs, and you redirect yourself towards your small sitting room.
Gaz is sat sprawled on the couch, his legs spread wide as he makes himself comfortable in your home. Something twists in your stomach at how comfy he looks, as though he belongs there. He looks around when you walk in, though your footsteps are quiet and muffled by your fluffy socks.
You look far from sexy right now in your ugly old loungewear and bare face, but Gaz brightens up at the sight of you.
“There she is.” He crows, though there’s something soft in his gaze that you can hardly face. “C’mon, love. Want to pick what we’re watching?”
You just look at him tiredly. He’s as handsome as ever; the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen. He must have come straight here once he’d gotten back from deployment because his eyes are dark and exhausted and stubble is a little more overgrown than usual. You hate that he’s able to come into your space like this so easily – like he’s never left.
“Gaz–” You start to say, but you’re cut off when he reaches for your hand.
He tugs you towards him, and you put a knee hastily up on the couch to prevent yourself from falling flat into his lap.
“Shhh, c’mon. Just sit with me.” He murmurs, looking up at you with those damn pretty eyes.
You waver, but then you turn your head to the side and catch sight of the second cup of tea sitting on the coffee table. Gaz has made it just how you like it, and in your favourite mug too. You crumble almost instantly. 
“Stick to your side of the couch.” You grumble, before dropping yourself down heavily onto the sofa next to him.
Gaz hums, and you can already tell that he has no intention of following that order. His arm is already sprawled over the back of the couch; it’s not touching you, but you have no doubt that he’ll try to before the end of the night.
He sticks on some stupid movie on Netflix. You don’t pay attention. It’s a rom-com, which is typical. He always pretends he chooses the sappy romantic films for your benefit, but you’re not fooled. You see the way he watches them with avid interest, the way his toes curl in his socks when the big love confession scene comes on screen. It’s always been something that you’re impossibly fond of.
The two of you are silent for a while, but it’s not uncomfortable. Part of you wishes that it was awkward – it would be easier, you think. But he makes it so simple, sitting with him like this as the cheesy film plays in the background. You’re still a little tipsy from the drinks you’d had at dinner, and you melt into the couch beside him a little quicker than you think you would have otherwise.
“You ruined my night, you know.” You say at last, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye.
To your surprise, he’s already looking at you. You glance away hastily again, not wanting to make eye contact.
“Nah,” He says, and you feel his arm dip down a little. He’s cupping your shoulders now, and you should probably move away, but you don’t. “If anything, I saved you from having a long, disappointing night with some tosser you agreed to pity-date. He didn’t exactly look like your type, darling.”
“He was a perfectly nice guy.” You bite out, crossing your arms defensively over your belly in your big t-shirt.
“Nice guys don’t end the first date by groping your ass and humping you up against your wall in your own house.” He says, and if you’re not mistaken you’d say he sounds a little bitter.
You cast a sideways glance at him. He’s sitting up, watching you closely and leaning just slightly towards you. He’s so intense about the way he’s looking at you, his arm dipping low so that he’s holding you properly.
“Stop it.” You say. It hardly even sounds like a proper protest. You’re so tired, still a little floaty from the wine you’d had at dinner, and desperately disappointed by the lack of sexual satisfaction you had been hoping for.
There’s a pause, and then Gaz gives a small shrug. He pulls his arm back to give you space, but he still has that stupid smirk on his face. You can’t even be angry about the cockiness of his expression when his eyes are that soft though.
“Sorry, sweetheart.” He murmurs. “I’m not being fair, am I?”
“No,” You say petulantly. “You’re not.”
He huffs a noise that’s almost a laugh, only he manages to stifle it so that it comes out as a cough instead. 
“Mm. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to ruin your big date night, especially when you got done up so pretty for it,” He murmurs, his voice low and sweet as honey trickling down your spine. “Let me make up for it. Come on, get over here.”
You hesitate, but Gaz isn’t really giving you an option. He begins to shift, one of his strong muscled arms looping around your waist as he pulls you into him. It takes you a long moment to realise what it is that he’s trying to do. He lays back on the couch and pulls you with him, encouraging you to pull your legs up onto the sofa so that the two of you are laying on your sides, with Gaz spooned up against your back. 
It’s definitely a bad idea to cuddle with him on the couch like this. You’re trying to set boundaries, to make it clear that you’re just friends (if you can even call it that) after your breakup. And yet… you don’t offer any sort of protest at all.
“Relax,” Gaz sighs from behind you, and you feel his nose nuzzle against the back of your neck. “You love cuddling.”
You roll your eyes, turning your head slightly so he can see the unimpressed expression on your face. 
“This isn’t enough to make up for being such a dick.” You grumble. Despite your griping, you don’t actually make any attempt to get out of his arms.
He was right, after all. You do love cuddling. It was your favourite thing to do when you were together. 
But you’re not together anymore, and it’s hard to ignore the gnawing guilt that you’re letting this grow into something that should be avoided instead of nipping it in the bud. You and Gaz had broken up months ago, and it was a perfectly amicable split. You can’t even say that he was at fault for any of it; the strain of the long distance part of your relationship while he was on deployment just grew too much for you, the space his absence left filling with brambled loneliness that pricked incessantly at you. You had known what you were getting into with this relationship with him, and yet when it came down to it you got too greedy, wanting more of him than he was able to give. 
Tonight was a moment of weakness for you, and though your hopes for sex may have been thwarted, you can’t turn down the soft familiar intimacy of Gaz’s strong body cradling you close against him.
Maybe it’s the wine you had at dinner, but you find your muscles relaxing a little as one of Gaz’s arms loops around your waist, his big hand coming to rest across your belly.
“Mm. I’m being selfish, love.” He murmurs, and you fight a shiver as his warm breath ghosts over the delicate shell of your ear. “This is more for me than for you.”
You’re not altogether sure that’s true. It’s certainly doing an awful lot for you right now. Gaz is in just a t-shirt, the muscles of his biceps bunching up under his bare skin as he tries to subtly nudge you closer to him. 
You’ve missed being all wrapped up in the warm embrace of him; he cuddles with his whole body, the front of his thighs all pressed against the back of yours, his strong chest moulding to your back as his face nuzzles against the back of your neck. You always feel so safe when he holds you like this, like he’s blocking out the rest of the world for you. You can only guess he feels the same – he holds you that much tighter every time he gets back home from his missions.
You grumble quietly, but soon settle down. The repetitive stroking motion of his thumb over your hip is more soothing than it should be. You take deep breaths, trying to be subtle about it, because all you can smell is Gaz and his citrusy sweet aftershave and you just want to drown in it.
“You can’t keep doing this.” You mumble, though all the fight has gone out of you. “It’s not… helpful.”
There’s a moment of silence, and then Gaz shifts behind you. His arm tightens around your waist almost imperceptibly, as though he thinks you’re going to push him away. But you’re being selfish now too, comfortably wrapped up against his chest.
“We said we’d stay friends,” He says at last, and he’s so close that you can feel his lips move against the back of your neck as he speaks. “Nothin’ wrong with some platonic cuddling. You should see how close me an’ Soap have had to cuddle to conserve heat when we’re out on the field.”
You huff a small laugh, which is obviously what he had been hoping for. Platonic cuddling. This certainly doesn’t feel platonic, but you can’t bring yourself to push him away. You’ve been craving this kind of closeness for months now, so you just let yourself reluctantly enjoy it. It would have been so much easier if you were able to enjoy it with Ben, with someone who meant nothing to you and wouldn’t have brought with him such a complicated web of feelings and history, but there’s a real sense of comfort in the familiarity of Gaz’s presence.
The film Gaz had chosen to stick on is a stupid one. It’s half action, half love story, with a strong rugged hero and a too-beautiful love-interest whose main role seems to be throwing out quips for comedic relief. You’ve seen a hundred versions of this plot play out in other films, though Gaz is predictably glued to the screen. He’s always loved these stupid films.
You’re comfortable enough that you fall into a light doze, uninterested in the television as you relish the heat from Gaz’s chest. He’s like a fucking human radiator, so hot that you can feel a thin dew of sweat begin to break out along your spine. It chases away the chill of the night and makes you so sleepy.
You’re almost asleep when movement from behind you jolts you back to wakefulness. For a moment, you wonder if you’ve imagined it. Then Gaz moves again, and this time it’s unmistakable.
Gaz is hard, the thick ridge of him impossible to miss as he presses against your ass. You’re awake instantly, the slight tipsiness from dinner vanishing into thin air. You’re on high alert, eyes darting back to the television to see what the fuck has aroused him, but there’s nothing of note happening onscreen. It’s just a conversation between characters, exposition setting up the next stage of the plot.
“Gaz,” You say, and your voice comes out louder than you had intended. “Stop humping my ass.”
You’re half-expecting him to deny it, but he just huffs a quiet snort, his nose nuzzling against the back of your neck.
“Sorry, love.” He says, though he doesn’t sound sorry in the least. “Can’t help it. Missed you loads.”
You can feel his cock even through the layers of your clothing, and you swallow hard. God, you’ve missed it. You’ve missed him, though it doesn’t seem like the right time to admit it. How are you ever supposed to get over each other if he keeps coming to stay with you every time he gets back from wherever in God’s name he’s been, when he holds you so sweetly and talks to you like you’re still his girl?
His hips rock into you in a movement that’s almost imperceptible, except you’re waiting for it. His hands are gripping your waist, his fingers curling into the soft flesh there. He’s always enjoyed the way your body yields to him, so much softer than the hard planes of muscle that make up his own, and it’s no surprise that he goes straight back to holding onto his favourite parts of you even as he ruts against your ass.
“Jesus, Gaz–” You start to complain, but your voice is a little too breathy to be convincingly angry.
“Stop that,” He murmurs, his lips pressing against the side of your neck. “You never call me that.”
That is true – after the breakup, calling him Kyle just seemed too intimate. It’s a name that usually falls from your lips with care, in soft whispers made for dark rooms and quiet moments. His callsign offers distance, reminds you both that what you had is in the past. Or that it should be in the past, at least.
“Kyle,” You concede tiredly. “You dickhead.”
He just hums. He knows you well enough to know that you’re not really angry; you’re not even attempting to move away from him, though you know you should. The film is mostly forgotten in the background, though you’re vaguely aware that the two characters onscreen have now progressed to confessing their love before the big final battle. You just sigh; this little romantic film moment is only going to encourage Gaz even more.
Yet still, you don’t move.
The way he’s grinding his thick cock against the swell of your ass is making your blood run hot. The pressure every time his hips roll lightly against you and the way that he uses his grip on your hips to pull you back against him is making your brain all stupid and fuzzy. It’s the only reason you can think of to explain the way you shift, the way you allow your bum to brush back against him. It earns you a soft little grunt that’s mostly muffled by the way he’s mouthing at your throat.
Oh, it would be so easy to slip the sweatpants that separates the two of you down, to allow him to slide into you. A little woozily, you think it would feel like he was coming home.
But to actually have sex feels like too much of a commitment, too confusing a step to take when things between you two were already muddled and confused enough. You’re almost afraid to even turn around to glance over your shoulder at him, as though making eye contact might mean you’ll both wake up and stop.
Gaz’s cock has gotten even harder, filling out thickly as he slots against the clothed groove of your ass. He’s not even touching your pussy, and yet your knickers are slick and sticky. It’s embarrassing at your age to be laying on the couch, watching a movie and getting dry-humped like a fucking teenager, and yet your skin feels as though it’s been lit aflame.
Then rustling fabric breaks the silence, and Gaz shifts a little behind you in an odd motion as the insistent pressure on your ass is finally relieved. In its absence, you’re almost disappointed. 
You tilt your head, just barely turning it, just enough to see that he’s just pulled out his cock.
“Kyle–”
“Sorry, baby,” He says again, panting against the side of your neck and making you shiver. “– ‘m just too hard, getting uncomfortable. Ignore it.”
Ignore it? You think, a little hysterically. The gentle rocking of his erection into your ass was one thing, but how the fuck are you supposed to ignore the fact that your ex is all pressed up against you, still holding you by the waist with one hand as the other fists at his cock.
You glance behind you and down before you can help yourself, your self-control as lacking as ever. Fuck. You’ve missed the sight of that. He has the prettiest cock you’ve ever seen, even if right now it’s flushed dark and angry and painful looking. Your mouth waters. He was obviously telling the truth when he said it was getting sore, and you feel a reluctant swell of sympathy.
“Been thinking of you for months, baby.” He murmurs, placing a wet, messy kiss on your throat. “I can’t even fucking cum properly when you’re not around, it’s not the fucking same. God, even missed the way you smell–”
As if to punctuate that, he presses his nose in your hair and inhales deeply. You know you smell like the sweet perfume you had sprayed earlier, your favourite one. You know from experience that it’s also Gaz’s favourite one. You tell yourself it’s a coincidence.
“Why didn’t you fuck someone else then? Get it out of your system?” You say, and it comes out a little harsh, a little raw. It reveals more than you want to; you feel a little ill at the thought of Gaz with some faceless girl, holding her and making her laugh, her hands touching him like you do.
If Gaz picks up on the bite in your voice, he’s kind enough to ignore it. He just huffs a quick snort like the suggestion is ridiculous, his sloppy mouthing at your neck turning into a chaste affectionate kiss that feels totally at odds with the desperate motions of his hand pumping at his cock.
“Why would I do that when I had a girl waiting for me at home?” He asks, his voice so soft with you. “Never wanted anyone else.”
Your toes curl, guilt coiling in your stomach. You hate that you feel pleased that he’s waited for you, that he doesn’t want anyone else. You’re not being fair – it had been you who had broken it off, after all. He should be able to get with whoever he wants to. Conceivably, he is allowed to. Yet you can’t pretend that you wouldn’t have been sick to your stomach if he admitted that he had. 
God, you feel like such a hypocrite. Here you are, admittedly all too happy that Gaz has stayed faithful to a relationship that isn’t even intact anymore, and there he is, having just witnessed you come home with a stranger’s hands all over you.
“We’re not together anymore.” You whisper, when what you want to say is I’m sorry.
“I know.” Gaz replies, and it sounds like For now.
It’s not a surprise when the hand on your waist slips around to your belly, and then lower again as it slips beneath the waistband of your bottoms. You try and fail to suppress the wet gasp that’s pulled from your throat when his long fingers coast over the front of your knickers, finding your clothed clit with unerring accuracy.
“Oh, lace, baby?” He says, his breath catching in his eagerness before realisation seems to set in. “Oh. This was for your little date, eh?”
The guilt again, gnawing in your chest. You arch your back, simultaneously shying away and crowding your ass back up against him. It’s mortifying, being caught with your fancy underwear beneath your baggy unflattering sweatpants by your ex-boyfriend and having him know without a shadow of a doubt that you intended them to be seen by someone else.
“I was–” You start to say breathily, but Gaz doesn’t let you finish.
“It’s alright, sweetheart,” He murmurs, his lips ghosting along the shell of your ear. “I know, I know. But he didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve you. Jesus, he didn’t even know what he fuckin’ had, ran like a coward–”
“Gaz–” You try again. You can’t help but feel as though you need to explain yourself, like the two of you should talk this through.
“You’re so soft, Jesus Christ.” He mutters, the side of his hand rubbing at the squishy flesh of your thighs as he strokes at your clit. “Were you always this soft?”
It sounds as though he’s trying to remember, desperate and wanting. You swallow thickly, closing your eyes as that familiar pleasure licks up your spine. He knows you so well, knows every part of you and exactly how to touch you, and you can hardly believe you ever entertained letting anyone else put their hands on you.
“I got a new body oil.” You breathe, distracted by his touch. “It’s– it’s vanilla scented.”
“Yeah,” He groans, and you shiver helplessly when you feel his tongue on your neck, licking a hot stripe up to your earlobe. “I can smell it.”
His index and middle fingers are so firm on either side of your clit, rolling circles around it without actually touching you properly. You sigh, back arching, but before you can actually enjoy it his hands are pulling away.
“Wait–” You gasp, your body crying out in protest as Gaz stops, pulling his hand back out of your pants.
Gaz just grunts, kisses your neck once more, then tugs your sweatpants down. You lift your hips up immediately, thoughtlessly, and then kick your sweats and knickers off impatiently. It’s a little embarrassing, especially when the cool air hits your slick, sticky thighs and you shiver.
“Oh god, fuck,” He groans, his plush lips dragging along the sensitive skin at the back of your neck. “You’ve ruined yourself, baby.”
It’s embarrassing to admit it, but it’s true. The dry spell you’ve experienced since the breakup has been little more than a mild inconvenience for the most part, but now it feels like your body is charged like a live wire. It feels like you’ve never been touched before, and you squirm backwards in an attempt to get any kind of friction again.
“Kyle–” You start to complain, but you don’t get to finish because then Gaz is slotting his cock in between your thighs.
He groans, taking a breath as he shuffles his hips closer. His pretty, glistening cock is wedged between the soft pudge of your thighs, the head of it nudging against the wet folds of your cunt every time he twitches.
“Let me put the tip in, baby.” He says, his voice gruff and wanting in your ear. “Literally just the tip, that’s it, huh? It’s not like actual fucking, right?”
In this moment, you think you’d agree to anything to get his dick into you. You had been all kinds of wound up even before you had come home to find Gaz waiting for you, but it’s like your body had some kind of Pavlovian response to Gaz’s touch because now you’re practically panting for him.
He’s right, after all. It’s not really fucking. It means that you can maintain the flimsy thin pretence that this means nothing.
“Okay.” You manage to say, though it comes out humiliatingly breathy. “Yeah, okay, the tip–”
Gaz’s cock is pressing into you before you can even finish your sentence, bullying into the wet grasping tightness of your cunt and making you gasp. 
You’ve gone long enough without getting laid that there’s a slight sting as he presses into you, but it’s overshadowed by the breathless relief. God, you’d forgotten how fucking good his dick felt inside you. He knows just how to use it too, and you wheeze slightly as he rocks an inch inside before pulling back again.
“Oh, fuck, baby.” Gaz moans throatily, the vibration of it rumbling right down your spine. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, you’re so tight.”
“Mph,” You manage to make a muffled sort of sound against the couch cushion your face is pressed against, your mouth hanging softly open as you pant for breath.
True to his word, Gaz just presses the first inch or so inside. You almost hold your breath, waiting for the rest to slide inside and split you open, but he doesn’t. He just rocks back and forth, just missing hitting the spot inside that makes your nerves sing.
You wish, stupidly, fervently, that just this once Gaz would go back on his word. That he’d abandon his promise to just stick that first inch of his cock inside, that he’d slam home and stretch you wide and let his cock brush against the nerves just a little deeper inside you. But that’s not Gaz’s style; you know he’s not going to give you any more unless you beg for it.
Gaz rocks his hips in teeny tiny movements, just enough to have you squirming in frustration. You’re so wet that you know he could slide deeper with ease if he only just tilted his hips right, but he remains doggedly steadfast in pumping just the barest inch into you, groaning with the effort it’s taking to stop himself plunging fully inside.
“Oh god,” He breathes, sounding wrecked in your ear. “You feel even better than I remember.”
You don’t know how he can even say that when he’s barely even inside you, but no matter how much you wiggle and squirm, he just won’t slide any deeper.
“You’re such an asshole.” You slur out against the fabric of the couch, your cheek squished against the cushions. Your chin is a little wet – are you drooling?
Infuriatingly, Gaz doesn’t even argue.
“Mm.” He grunts, kissing the curve of your neck. “What’d I do this time?”
The fact that he has the gall to ask only irritates you further. You let out a quiet, grumbling noise, but his hand grips at your hip and stops you from writhing.
“Just… just put the rest of it in.” You say, craning your neck to try and look at him. 
Your eyes are wide and wet, pathetically teary. You’ve been craving intimacy like this for weeks now. Maybe longer, if you’re being honest with yourself. It’s the kind of pleasure you’ve only ever gotten from Gaz, and you wheeze as your body opens up under his touch. God, you don’t know how you thought anyone would ever be able to fuck you like Gaz does.
“Mm, you sure, baby?” He murmurs, nosing against the back of your skull. “Thought we were just cuddling.”
“Don’t be a dick.” You snap, your patience reaching the end of its tether.
He just laughs, a breathless sort of amused gasp, before snapping his hips forward in one sharp movement and seating his cock inside you. Though it’s what you had been demanding, the abruptness of it startles you and you yowl, your back arching.
“Sh, sh, shh, sorry, love.” Gaz pants, before sighing in wordless contentment as his broad chest curves around your back, his strong arm looping around your belly. “Oh, fuck. Missed this so much, you have no idea. I swear you were made for me, I couldn’t fit as well inside anyone else.”
“Just– just move.” You whine, a little plaintive. It’s humiliating how desperate you are, but there’s no turning back now. “Please, Kyle–”
Gaz pitches into movement instantly, as though he’s got something to prove. Or maybe he’s just worried that you’re going to change your mind. His hips pull back then snap forward again, and again. 
He’s so strong, his rhythm steady enough to rock you wildly back and forth on the lumpy couch cushions. You clutch at the fabric beneath you, gasping as his arm pulls you back and keeps you pinned against his hot, hard chest. 
“Oh.” You breathe, tilting your head back with a pathetic little whimper as he fucks into you from behind, the two of you plastered together like sardines in the tiny can that is your sitting room couch.
This is just what you needed, you think a little wildly. God, you’ve been craving physical touch like this for months, since the last time you had seen Gaz. It’s galling to admit that any other man is a poor substitute, unable to fill the void that your ex-boyfriend has left in your life.
“Kyle,” You whine, searching for something. You don’t even know what you’re asking for, but Gaz is as patient with you as ever.
He just hums, leaning in over your shoulder and pressing hot, hungry kisses along your jawline where it’s exposed as you lean your head back. The arm that’s been wrapped around your belly coasts lower, until his big lovely hand is pressed against your cunt. His fingers search for your clit and find it easily, confident and familiar enough with your body that he barely even has to try to make you feel good. 
Gaz coos soothingly at you and rolls your clit between his fingers as his thrusts begin to come faster and harder; he builds up a steady rhythm, one that lets him sink as deep inside of you as possible and quickly renders you speechless. The living room is soon filled with wet slapping sounds from where Gaz is pounding into you from behind, the grunts and pants and moans that both of you make rapidly drowning out the stupid action sequence playing out on the television from the long forgotten film.
Unbelievably, you feel a sweet stirring in your lower belly already. It’s with a sense of tired resignation that you acknowledge you’re going to come on Gaz’s dick, despite your original intentions for the evening. Typical. 
But he’s not going to last either, judging by the strained moans in your ear.
“Shit,” He curses, and then his teeth sink into the side of your neck. You shudder, the feeling of him sucking a harsh hickey into your throat sending electric sparks racing through your nerves.
You think, judging from the desperate edge to Gaz’s humping into you from behind, that Gaz has been yearning in your absence in the same way you have for him. You’re biting on your lip hard in an effort to stifle the plaintive, wanting little moans that are threatening to spill over, but your attempts at quieting yourself are mostly unsuccessful. It makes you feel a little crazy, but Gaz doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, the evidence that you want him too only seems to encourage him. 
Your eyes are half-closed as you fuck your hips back on Gaz’s cock, relishing the satisfied little cries he’s emitting into the back of your neck. You clutch clumsily at the strong arm he has wrapped around your belly, crying out yourself as the head of his cock hits that one spot inside you that makes you feel gooey inside. Your toes curl as your head tips back, your skull neatly cradled in the space between Gaz’s head and the couch cushions as he peppers kisses along the side of your neck.
The wet slapping of your bodies colliding is obscene in the quiet of the room; the stupid film still playing does nothing to drown it out. Your body is as limp and relaxed as a doll, allowing him to fuck into you from behind in a frenzy. Right now, you can’t even recall why you ever would have tried to deny yourself this pleasure in the first place.
His hips clap against your ass, those wet sounds getting even louder and more obscene than ever. Gaz is viscerally pleased with the way your ass bounces every time he fucks into you, because he moans and picks up the pace as if he just wants to watch your glutes jiggle every time his hips slap against you. 
That familiar ball of tension starts tightening in your abdomen, your body winding up for a long-awaited and much needed release. It’s so typical that this orgasm feels like it’s going to be a big one too, as though your body needed Gaz to be there to guide you through it in order to achieve proper satisfaction.
But then, in a move so infuriating you almost burst into tears, Gaz pulls out and leaves you high and dry.
“No!” You blurt, and it comes out almost as a wail. “What are you doing?”
“Sorry, baby.” Gaz says a little breathlessly. “Need you to turn over. Want to see you.”
As soon as you realise that he’s not trying to stop and that he’s just trying to reposition you, you’re quick to roll over so that you’re facing him. It seems like that’s exactly what he wanted, because he grins wide and reaches for your hips, eagerly pulling you closer.
“Fuck, you’re so pretty.” He mumbles, his eyes like warm caramelised honey as they track over your face. 
You’re pretty sure he’s full of shit; you’re panting like you’ve run a marathon, you’re sweaty, your hair is dishevelled, and you’re still wearing the ugly sweatshirt you had put on earlier. Yet, even still, Gaz’s genuine little compliment has your heart flipping in your ribcage.
You can’t help but think that you and Gaz are like feral little animals right now. You can barely keep your hands off each other; now that you’ve rolled over to face him, his hands are roaming over your hips and ass like he’s trying to memorise the feel of you by touch alone. 
Embarrassingly, you’re no better – you lunge forward to kiss him, taking advantage of your new position, and he kisses you back hungrily.
Lying sideways on the couch like this is cramped, but Gaz uses his hand on your ass to tug you closer. Then he reaches down, long fingers gripping at your thigh before he pulls it up so that your leg is hitched over his hip.
Oh no, You barely have time to think it before his cock is pressing into you again, the slide made easy this time. Too intimate!
The panicked thought is swiftly dispelled the moment Gaz starts moving again, because goddamn this position is so much better. It’s almost difficult to tell where Gaz ends and you begin, so intertwined are your bodies. Gaz barely even allows for an inch of space. He fucks into you almost as soon as he’s pulled back, making for a fast, frantic pace that barely even gives you a chance to breathe.
You squeal, but your noises are half-moans as you rock your hips mindlessly into his rough, almost animalistic thrusts. Your leg hitched over his hip means that he’s grinding into you deep, deeper than you thought was possible. 
The way the two of you are fucking feels a little bit unhinged, rutting and humping your bodies together in search of mutual pleasure. It should be clumsy and graceless, yet somehow it feels good, as though your body remembers exactly how good Gaz has always treated you, as though your whole being is having a Pavlovian response to his touch. Pleasure burns in your gut, tight and hot, and you moan stupidly as Gaz pounds into you.
“Oh god.” You say without meaning to. The sound of your voice shocks you; you sound wrecked, as though you’ve been fucking for hours. It would have been embarrassing to reveal just how affected you were if Gaz wasn’t also clearly just as eager for it.
“Yeah,” He says, a hybrid of a groan and a gasp muffled against your lips as he clutches at your ass and drives into you wildly. “Fuck, I’m gonna come.”
You are too, you realise wildly. You’re struck by how quickly you’ve both gotten to this point. This whole encounter has been frenzied and feverish, as though the poorly stifled desire between you had turned explosive. 
Gaz kisses you again, and his teeth clack against yours slightly as he licks into your mouth. It’s messy and wet, and it sends a delicious throb of pleasure shooting through your belly. He’s acting so possessive that it’s making your head spin. It should definitely be sending warning bells ringing in your head, or red alarms flashing in your minds eye – it can’t be a good thing that your ex-boyfriend is currently fucking you on your couch like he’s trying to claim you. But you’re apparently a little stupid and very weak, and Gaz has always known how to fuck you dopey and thoughtless. Instead of worry, you get the edges of an orgasm beginning to fizz in your peripheral awareness.
Your pussy must flutter or tighten around him as that lovely sweet promise of release edges closer, because Gaz moans in anticipation and his eager thrusts take on an edge of purpose. You almost protest when he breaks off the kiss, but then you realise that he just wants to be able to focus on keeping his rhythm steady. It’s frenzied and hot, and you swear the air itself is crackling as he kisses sloppily at your neck and fucks you hard.
“Love you,” He slurs in your ear, breathless. “Love you so much, baby.”
His thrusts turn more shallow and far more forceful the closer he gets. Little moans and whines escape his lips between kisses, the sounds ratcheting up in intensity as the two of you rut together.
“Tell me you love me,” He pleads, “Please— tell me you fuckin’ love me, baby. I know you do. I know you—”
You shouldn’t say it. You can’t say it. Yet his cock is fucking you sloppy and stupid, and your mouth moves before you even register that you’re speaking.
“Love you too,” You whimper like a pathetic little idiot, revelling in the exquisite feeling of him grinding against your g-spot just right. It feels so good, you know you’re so, so close to orgasm.
The ache in your abdomen persists— you clench tightly around his cock, your body straining as the muscles in your core clench, trying so hard to push yourself closer to the orgasm you know is coming. You’re so close, so so close— it burns, aches, drives you mad. All you can do is mewl, wrapping your arms around his muscled shoulders as he pounds into you despite the awkward angle.
You can feel your clit throbbing, pulsing, your entire body trying so goddamn hard to climax that you feel like you’re about to cry. You’re burning beneath your skin and all you want to do is gnash your teeth into the elegant line of Gaz’s throat, to leave some kind of indelible mark on his lovely smooth skin.
“Please, please, please— yes, fuck— oh, Kyle,” Your words come out on the breath of an uneven gasp, stuttering with each movement of his hips, perfectly synchronized. 
His voice is low and hot in your ear as he pants, “Let me come inside you, baby— let me, please— fuck.”  
You should say no. Every logical part of you knows that you should tell him to pull out, and yet the wires are crossed when it comes to your actual response. Your leg tightens around his waist, heart seizing in protest at the idea of him pulling out.
“Yes.” You gasp, continuing your streak of impulsive decision-making. Your own hips twitch forward in weak little humps in an effort to fuck yourself onto his cock, your clit grinding against the dark curls at his pubic bone. “Yes, inside, please–”
Your breathy, eager permission seems to give him a burst of energy. He picks up the pace, his body curving into you as his arms wrap around you in a tight embrace. It feels as though your entire world has been narrowed down to Gaz, his broad shoulders blocking out your view of the rest of the room. You cling to him, breathless and messy as you whimper like a loser, your body trembling from the toe-curling zings of pleasure that keep shooting up your spine.
“Oh, oh.. Kyle, please–” You practically sob, your fingernails digging harshly into his shoulders. “Love you, love you, oh my god, I’m gonna come–”
Gaz grunts, obviously eager as his movements grow thoughtful and determined. He knows exactly what you want, what you need at this moment. His abdominal muscles tense and flex with every calculated, deliberate thrust. There is no way to escape the length of him moving hard and thick inside you – not that you want to escape so much as a second of it, of course.
“That’s my girl, always so fucking perfect.” He snarls as your body eagerly takes every dirty roll of his hips, palming at your thigh where it’s hitched over his hip. “Fuckin’ Christ, I’ve been dreaming of your cunt for fucking months, never wanted anything else–”
It makes no sense. Absolutely no sense, that those bizarre, lust-crazed possessive words are what drag you trembling, screaming over the crest of an orgasm so intense the walls of the room white out, each sweeping pulse leaving you unable to do anything but clench and shudder and arch beneath him.
Gaz fucks you like a damn machine; he gives you long, deep strokes over and over as you’re falling apart. Your body seizes around the hot flesh of Gaz’s cock, your mind going white as your cunt spasms, your hole clamping down and pulsing with every desperate, loud moan torn from your mouth. 
You feel like a sloppy little slut, your hips jerking towards him instead of away even as your orgasm washes through you and leaves your body tender and oversensitive. It feels so damn good to feel your mind washing blank and clear, not a single thought taking hold. 
When the toe-curling height of pleasure subsides, you find your nerves frayed and hyper-sensitive. A plaintive whine breaks out of your throat as Gaz keeps fucking you, beginning to thrust up frantically into your twitching pussy. Your body falls limp as Gaz bounces your pliable, warm body up and down his cock as he groans into your ear.
It’s like the rhythmic tightening of your drooling, creaming cunt has him losing his mind, because he grabs the meat of your hips and begins jerking your limp body back towards him. The slap slap slap! of the impact is so loud that every slap makes your breath catch.
“Fuck. I'm—” Your hands slap clumsily at his shoulders, reaching for anything to hold on to, but he doesn’t stop. "Kyle. Kyle—" It’s just your voice, hoarse, breathless, and Gaz bearing down on you, the sound of your bodies somehow growing sloppier, messier as he fucks you and it’s uncompromising, just skirting the edge of painfully overwhelming—
He breaks, shoulders trembling, head bowed into the curve of your neck as he lets out a long, desperate moan. It’s a drawn out, rough groan that is more sob than pleasure, and then you feel him inside you, spilling red hot and wet. Your own orgasm still isn’t fully finished, rolling leisurely through you in little aftershocks, your body still tightening and shivering, and it goes on and on and on.
He holds on to you throughout, as if he’s worried he’ll blow away into the wind without anchoring himself to you. His hips slow, but don’t fully stop. He rolls his hips into you slowly, leisurely, as though he has all the time in the world as he shivers in his come down. You blink, waiting for the colour to bleed back into your vision and for the ringing in your ears to stop, and for the first time all night you’re not thinking about anything at all.
“Please, Kyle.” You slur out stupidly. You have no idea what you’re even asking for; there’s just some vague, barely formed desperation floating around your painfully blank mind as you search for something.
“Mm.” Gaz hums. It feels like he’s everywhere, his broad chest filling up your sight and enveloping you. His hands roam over your body: the backs of your thighs, squeezing as his hands drift over your ass, up and down your back, your neck, his fingers catching around the thin strands of hair and the back of your neck, until finally he settles his fingers on your cheeks.
His palms stay there, just cupping your cheeks as the two of you struggle to regulate your breathing and regain your composure. That antsy sense of desperation eases a little when he leans in to nuzzle fondly at your face, dropping sweet little kisses along your cheeks and nose.
Gaz’s chest rumbles with a low, lovely laugh, his voice gravelly from his climax. “You’re overflowing, sweetheart.”
You let out a careless little sigh, before relaxing experimentally. You can feel a gush of warm seed begin to ooze out around Gaz’s cock, spilling out of your entrance and coating his balls. You wriggle lazily, cunt still pulsing as your wildly beating heart gradually slows to a lazy flutter.
You think you should probably be panicking now. You’ve just fucked your ex, told him you loved him, then let him come inside. With no condom. God, you’re stupid. But the wave of horror you’re expecting never comes. You feel too floaty to care; you suspect if it was anyone other than Gaz, the mortification would have knocked into you like a sledgehammer. 
“You’re gonna get cum on the couch.” You complain, the words coming out clumsy on your tongue.
Gaz just snorts. He makes no effort to pull out, and you have no desire to push him away. The intimacy of your sweat-slick skin pressed together is enough to take your breath away, and it’s only further compounded by the sensation of his cock gradually softening inside you.
“I’ll get it cleaned, love.” He drawls lazily, leaning in to kiss your swollen lips. “Or pay for a new one. Whichever you want.”
When you kiss him back he sighs fondly, one thumb stroking over your cheekbone. You’re still limp in his arms, boneless and spent as you wriggle greedily into his arms. His cock is still lodged inside you, and you’re sure he must be getting uncomfortably sensitive but to your relief he just moans in quiet appreciation when you try to worm your way closer.
“You made a mess.” You mumble against his lips. 
You’re being a little unfair, considering your own slick is coating your thighs and Gaz’s lower belly, but Gaz has always rolled with even the most unreasonable attitude you’ve thrown his way. So he just chuckles, and you feel a little insane as you wonder if anyone else would ever be as patient with you.
“Think we both did, doll.” He murmurs fondly. He leans in and catches your lips with his again, kissing you slowly with a lazy, lewdly open mouth. One hand curls against the nape of your neck, the other hand reaching up beneath your sweater and curling possessively against your left tit, sweeping over your sluggish, sated heartbeat.
You feel practically brainless after your orgasm, relaxed and loose in Gaz’s arms. There’s something to be said for how safe you feel with him, as much as you’d like to deny it, but reality is starting to slowly sink in.
You pull away from his mouth to try and collect yourself, unable to think when he’s kissing you like that. 
“Fuck.” You breathe, closing your eyes with a sigh. It’s slow, but you’re finally starting to think again. “We shouldn’t– we should have used a condom.”
Gaz’s eyes are lidded with fond amusement as he watches you quietly. His hand kneads at your breast absent-mindedly, as though he’s forgotten that he’s groping at you. 
“Don’t overthink it,” He murmurs, kissing your forehead again. “I saw your box of pills in the bathroom. And I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone but you.”
You tremble a little at his admission, your fingers digging into his shoulders. You feel like you’re losing your mind. Gaz is the most beautiful man you’ve ever met, funny and sweet and always so caring. You love him, even if it kills you a little to admit it, and you don’t know how to respond to his admission that he’s been faithful to you during the long months you weren’t together.
Gaz misinterprets whatever expression is on your face, thumb stroking soothingly over your cheek again. “We can get you a morning-after pill, if it’ll make you feel better.”
You don’t bother correcting him. You’re not that fussed over the morning-after pill – you’re careful when it comes to your birth control, and Gaz had always cum inside you when you were together. The weight of his cock inside you is comforting almost, the wet slide of his cum dripping out of you makes you feel as though you’d never been apart in the first place. You wonder how you could ever have been thick enough to think that someone else could fill Gaz’s place in your life.
As if he knows what you’re thinking, Gaz’s lips twitch. “That pillock you brought home would’ve been such a disappointment, darling.”
You can’t stop your eyes from rolling, exasperated. 
“You don’t know that.” You grumble, though you don’t pull away. You’re still all curled up against his chest, skin still slick and sticky from rapidly cooling sweat, your leg still slung over Gaz’s hip to keep his now-soft cock nestled inside you.
“Sure I do.” He says, and that cocky arrogance that both drives you mad and makes you swoon is rearing its head. He reaches down, and his thick fingers roll over your much-too-sensitive clit. “She missed me, gorgeous. Don’t think she would have liked some strange tosser pounding away at her with no idea how to please her.”
The way he talks about your pussy as though it has its own thoughts and feelings has you rolling your eyes again, though your cheeks burn with embarrassment. To your immense irritation, you think he might have a point. You haven’t come that hard in months, not since the breakup.
“Oh, shut up.” You sigh tiredly.
He snickers, and then shifts. It takes you a moment to realise that he’s pulling his hips back preparing to pull out. Your brain stalls, and you wrap your arms around his neck and shoulders in protest. You’re not ready to feel the invasive, aching emptiness that will no doubt throb through your core as soon as he’s not filling you up. 
“Stay.” You say, and it comes out as an embarrassingly breathy little plea.
Gaz goes practically limp, as though your hoarse request had taken the wind right out of him. You’re not expecting the way he brings both arms around your waist before rolling over onto his back, hauling you up to lay over his chest. His cock remains firmly lodged inside you, though the movement has resulted in his white creamy spend leaking out onto your inner thighs.
“Not going nowhere.” He mumbles, one hand stroking over your flank to soothe you. “I’m on leave for at least a month.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.” Gaz hums. He must sense that this is a delicate moment, because he doesn’t make any ribald jokes about having all month to fuck you like you’re expecting him to. He just presses a tender kiss to your temple, his lips lingering gently.
Usually, you’d probably be a little embarrassed by how clingy you’re being. You had been so damn determined not to fall into bed with Gaz after the breakup, but you’re so, so weak. His stupid honey brown eyes and gorgeous dimples and crooked grin is enough to send you to your knees. You rest your forehead against his chest as he holds you close; at least like this, you can’t see his stupid handsome face.
He’s obviously pleased with the way you’re snuggling into him, because his chest rumbles as he hums in satisfaction. He’s holding you tight like he thinks you’re going to slip away the moment he blinks.
“You okay?” He asks quietly.
You don’t answer immediately. There’s no way to brush this under the carpet, or to go back to pretending at detached disinterest. If you had wanted to play this off as just a bit of stress relief, then you should have rolled away from him the second he’d spilled inside of you rather than cuddling with him on the couch. There’s no way that you can claim that this was just a case of needing to get laid; you’re still clutching at him like a limpet, the two of you intertwined so tight that it’s difficult to tell when your limbs end and Gaz’s begin.
“I’m tired.” You sigh eventually, sidestepping the conversation that you know you’ll have to deal with eventually.
No doubt Gaz notices your not particularly subtle avoidance, but he doesn’t comment. He seems quite happy to indulge your every whim; he probably wants to avoid the this-was-a-mistake-and-we-need-to-maintain-boundaries conversation even more than you do.
“Let’s get you to bed then,” He murmurs, and then he surprises you by sitting up. You’re still laid out across his chest, which means that when he shimmies up into a sitting position, you end up sitting sprawled in his lap.
You’re still speared a little awkwardly on his soft cock, the sensation of him inside you making your eyelids flutter a little. You feel satisfied, your muscles still watery and weak, and you sigh a little mournfully when Gaz finally pulls his cock out of you. You ache, a deep throb that both stokes and settles you. It’s like a comfortable little reminder that Gaz was here, and that he left his mark on you.
You can feel the way he leans back just to get a glimpse of his spend trickling down the inside of your thigh. You pout and bury your face into his throat, your arms wrapped tight around his shoulders still as you try to hide your sudden self-consciousness.
But Gaz isn’t interested in giving you a moment to hide. You feel the edge of his teeth ghost the shell of your ear before he speaks, just low enough to make you shiver.
“Let me take you out tomorrow, sweetheart.” He says, and beneath his usual cocky countenance you hear the edge of a plea. “I’ll make up for ruining your date tonight. You can wear that little dress from earlier for me again.”
You feel exposed, stripped bare as you perch in Gaz’s lap. His hand strokes evenly over your spine, waiting patiently for your response.
“I want a fancy dinner.” You mumble, your fingers curling around his shoulders. “At a nice restaurant.”
You hear a shaky little exhale, and Gaz’s arms tighten around your waist. It strikes you that he’s relieved, and you feel your heart tremble in response. The knowledge that he wants you still is enough to have your own lungs seizing in response; you can’t quite bear to wonder if you’ve been wasting time for these past few months that you’ve been broken up. 
“Whatever you want.” He says it like a prayer, tilting his head in search of your lips again.
The kiss is easy, the months that you’ve been apart dissolving into nothing. You’re a little too stubborn to give in entirely and beg for him back just yet though, but you doubt it matters. You’ve already admitted your weakness for him in the middle of shagging, and you’re not stupid enough to hope that he’s somehow forgotten it. You’ve been trying so hard to shove all those feelings down deep, but you’re not too surprised that they’ve all come bubbling out. He’s got a month of leave. You have no doubt that he’s going to use that time to change your mind. You find that you don’t mind the idea as much as you thought you might; you suspect that you can be swayed all too easily.
You peek up at him, only to come face to face with his sweet, hopeful deep brown eyes. He’s not pushing, but you can see the weight of desire and yearning in every inch of his face. No doubt it’s mirrored on your own. You don’t think you could ever look into his pretty face and deny him anything.
You hum, then whisper the only answer you could ever give.
“Yeah. Okay. It’s a date, then.”
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plussizeficchick · 5 months
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Breeder’s Digest! | Nanami x Chubby!Reader
Summary; Nanami’s always wanted kids, but there’s something about you taking care of your nieces and nephews that just get him going.
Warnings; smut(breeding kink(like huge), pregnancy kink?, cunnlingus, P in V, cockwarming(mentioned), ooc!Nanami?, not proofread(y’all know what it is))
Sn: This was originally requested by @shadofireshinobi but friend I could never do it justice like how you requested😫but I hope you like it boo💕
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He truly doesn’t know what came over him.
Nanami prides himself on his self control. Sure, there are times when it becomes too much, you’re a bit too tempting, but he’s always been able to keep himself in check.
So where the fuck is that same composure?
Really, he should’ve known better when you said your nieces and nephews would be at the gathering your family was having for Christmas, he just didn’t think it’d result to this.
It just became too much, the sight of you holding your baby niece to your chest, the way you so carefully cradled her, making sure to position her head right.
It just came so naturally to you.
The way you were able to calm her when she was getting fussy, the soft way you cooed at her when she did just about anything, it was getting to him. 
The want, the need, to fuck you full of his cum, to see you nice and round with his child.
He simply couldn’t wait.
— —
You aren’t sure what’s come over Nanami.
You thought everything was fine, you were at your parents house to spend time with them and your sister, along with her new bundle of joy but as you spent time there, Nanami started to act off.
You two had broached the topic of children briefly in the past. It was a mutual agreement that you both wanted them, just when the time was right.
So you’re confused as to what spurred this reaction.
After your niece was put down for a nap, Nanami gave your family a poor excuse as to why you had to leave earlier than anticipated and all but carried you out the door.
You tried to ask what came over him, but he merely shut you down with a searing kiss, stealing your breath away. “I need you.” He groaned against your mouth. He was struggling to hold himself back, desperate to get you squirming in his cock.
You whine against his lips, pulling back just enough to ask him what happened, when he pulls you right back into him, mumbling about getting you home.
— —
After narrowly avoiding crashing, you both managed to stumble into your shared home, Nanami hoisting you up to grind your clothed core against his. “Feel me, pretty? It’s all f’you.” He murmurs against your lips, the taste of you too addicting.
You grind against him, your panties accumulating an embarrassing amount of slick as you feel his hardness. “Need you, Ken. So bad.” You whine. The friction on your clit is delicious, but you need more. 
“Gonna fill you up.” He promises, walking you to your shared bedroom. “Gonna get you nice and full of my kids.” Your heart thrums at the mention of this, pussy clenching involuntarily. Nanami quirks a brow at that, a smirk making its way to his face. “Oh? She likes the sound of that, hm?”
Your heart just about falls to your ass.
He places you on the bed and strips you both of your clothes, kissing and sucking your most sensitive areas before finally placing his mouth where you need him most.
You gasp as he sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue laving over the bundle of nerves as one of his hands to reach up and tweak one of your sensitive nipples. He uses his other hand to push one of your knees up, giving him a bit more access to your center. You cry out as he licks a bold stripe up your core, his eyes demanding contact. 
“You taste so good, pretty. I wonder, will you taste different when you’re swollen with my child? Will you taste even sweeter?” He works a finger into you, thrusting shallowly at first, but as you grind your hips into him, he picks up the pace. “I can’t wait to see your tits swell with milk. You won’t ever have to worry about them being too heavy, I’ll help with that, my dear.” Your mind is too clouded to understand the double meaning behind his words, too focused on chasing your orgasm. “Please.” You beg, though, you don’t really know what you're begging for. Nanami does, however, working in a second and third finger as his tongue works wonders on your clit.
It doesn’t take long before you cum, body spasming underneath him. He works you through it, pressing tender kisses along your body before making his way to your lips. “Need to fuck you, princess. Gotta fill you up.” He murmurs against you, cock grinding into your sopping cunt. You whimper as he strokes himself through your folds just right, tip bumping against your clit every so often.
He eventually takes pity on you, slowly stretching you around his thick length as he sets a steady pace. He pulls back a little to get a good look at your face. Drool spilling down your kiss-swollen lips, eyes hazy as he has you creaming around his cock, tits bouncing deliciously as he fucks into you.
So pretty.
“Can’t wait to see my baby in you.” He groans, the image of you round and your tits swollen making him that much harder inside you. He picks up the pace, angling his hips to hit your g-spot as he thumbs your clit. “Cum for me, Princess. Make a mess for me. Please, baby.” He practically begs. His cock is near to bursting the way you're clenching around him. 
You’re tearing up, the feeling of his cock inside you almost overwhelming. Just as you begin to cry out from your orgasm, Nanami captures your lips in a messy kiss, tongues mingling together sloppily. “Gonna cum f’you, princess. Gonna fill you up and I don’t want a fucking drop spilling out. Understand?” He practically snarls in your ear. And for some reason, it has your pussy clenching. 
He spills his seed deep inside you; a deep, guttural groan escaping him as he fucks deep into you, eager to paint your womb. His large hands roam the expanse of your tummy lovingly before he’s flipping you both over so you’re laying on top of him. He presses soft kisses along your neck even though you’re both spent, basking in each other’s warmth. 
Nanami knows that it’ll take a while before you’re showing, but as you lay there cockwarming him, he can’t help but be excited for what the future will hold.
— —
Taglist: @xogabbiexo @kinq-sleazee @dabilovesme @blkchxrryblyss @tenyaiidasslut @luna-indigoduh @bookwormsenpai @bl--ankhaeji @thicksimpx @namjoonswifeyy @nasty-quillz @musicisme333 @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @celi-xxmoon
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noyasmashing · 2 months
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Between Lines
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Sub!Kenma x Fem!reader
CW: caught jerking off, reader a lil mean, begging, kenma being a cry baby, phone smut
A/N: Kinda rushed this one tbh.. I don’t know if I’m a fan of it but I liked the idea
WC: 1,360
Kenma's quiet demeanor was a defining trait, one that set him apart from the crowd. He wasn't one to actively seek out friendships, nor did he make much effort to engage in conversations with girls.
However, you were the exception. The circumstances of how your nightly calls began was something Kenma could not recall; but it was evolved from your shared love of video games. But once the controllers were set aside for the night, the conversations continued.
Despite his reputation for silence, Kenma was an attentive listener. He found solace in the sound of your voice, absorbing every detail you shared – whether it was the latest gossip, your favorite TV shows, or the mundane details of your day. He was content with this, offering only occasional interjections or quiet chuckles in response.
When the topic inevitably turned to him, Kenma's responses were dry, stale. I mean, you tried to talk about him, but it’s like he was on a witness protection program. He always found a way to turn the conversations back to you.
You weren’t exactly sure why, as sometimes you would have to ask “Are you still there, Kozu?"
A soft "mhmm" would be his only response, a subtle reassurance that he was indeed still listening.
Tonight was no exception. The clock ticked past 10:00 pm, leaving Kenma’s room dark as he lay on his bed, phone pressed to his ear. Your voice filled the room, animated and excited as you recounted the latest episode from your favorite TV show.
"But can you believe that plot twist?" you exclaimed, your excitement palpable even through the phone.
"Yeah, it was unexpected," Kenma replied, his tone calm but laced with a hint of amusement.
As the conversation continued, Kenma found himself lying there, feeling embarrassingly aroused. Lately, he had been struggling to find release, but there was something about the sound of your voice that seemed to make him undeniably hard.
His hand started to wander lower, venturing into forbidden territory where his boxers were already dampened with precum.
"That reminds me, Kozu! What you pulled off during the last match was pretty impressive," you enthusiastically complimented him, completely unaware of the effect your words were having on him.
“o-oh really?” He asked shakily, shamelessly teasing his overly sensitive pink tip.
"Mhmm, good job, Kozu.” You chuckled, praising him once more for his gaming skills.
Now, of all times, was the worst moment to praise him like that. He was already so aroused! The tone of your voice, your affectionate words, and just your presence in general was too much for him. By now, he was shakily jerking himself off, beads of precum leaking out of his tip.
He attempted to stifle his sounds of pleasure, but his efforts were in vain as a loud moan escaped him, broadcasting through the mic. His moment of ecstasy was abruptly halted when the realization of his mistake hit him.
"Kozu?" you asked, surprised at his unexpected reaction. Kenma didn’t know what to do with himself. He could die right about now. The one time he decided to let into his urges and he gets caught!
Before he could gather his thoughts to respond, you continued with a mischievous tone, "Have you been getting off to my voice every night?" Kenma's cheeks flushed even deeper as he struggled to find words, caught off guard by your bold question.
"N-no... I just... I'm sorry," Kenma whimpered out, his embarrassment evident in his voice. Somehow, he found himself even more aroused than before. Being caught by you had an unexpected effect on his body.
He braced himself for your potential reaction—scolding, perhaps even the silent treatment, or worse. But instead, your voice cut through his panicked thoughts, softer than before, calm and understanding,
"Did you cum yet?" you asked curiously, your tone indicating a desire to help with his predicament.
"W-what?" Kenma asked, still expecting a reprimand from you, his confusion evident in his voice.
“Cum? Did you?” you asked, this time with a slightly firmer tone.
"N-n, no.. no I didn’t," Kenma told you anxiously, unable to believe you would ask him something so intimate.
“Do you want to?” you inquired, your tone still gentle, yet probing. Kenma couldn't decipher how you felt about the situation, but he responded with a shaky "yes," although it was an obvious answer.
Your light laughter filled the air, further fueling Kenma's embarrassment. "I won't stop you, Kozu. I was waiting for something like this to happen," you admitted seductively, your words sending a shiver down his spine.
Kenma let out a soft whine, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and arousal coursing through him at your candid admission.
His hand slowly made its way back down to his aching cock, ready to relive himself of this burning feeling.
"What... what do you mean?" Kenma let out shakily, running his hand over the length of his throbbing erection. God, he was incredibly turned on right now, teetering on the edge of climax with every touch.
"Oh, come on," you teased, as if he should have known what you meant all along, though maybe he did, he wasn't sure. "Do you think I spend hours talking to you even when it’s late just for fun? I like you, Kozume. I really do," you confessed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
This time, Kenma let out a loud moan in response. You? You liked him? It was all too much for him to process.
"I want to see you," he whined, his voice filled with desperation, the sound of his frantic movements against his cock audible through the speaker, causing you to clench around nothing.
"You sound so pretty right now. I wish it was my hand doing the work for you," you remarked, ignoring his attempts at flattery.
He continued to diligently pleasure himself, while you comforted him with soft words, unwittingly encouraging his actions.
His breath became heavier, punctuated by moans and whimpers. "Please," he breathed out, nearing the edge of his climax.
"Please what, Kozu? Do you want to cum?" you asked warmly, causing him to nod his head rapidly, as if you could see him.
"Hmm?" you questioned at his silence. He let out a shy "can I?" seeking your permission for release.
"I don’t know…" you trailed off, feigning contemplation. "I’m kind of upset you touched yourself to my voice without me knowing. You're such a little pervert," you chided, and Kenma couldn't help but let out a mangled sob, his hand slowing its pace in response to your disapproval.
Hearing his slowed motions, you quickly scolded him,
"Don’t slow down if I didn’t tell you to.” This time you were much harsher than he expected. Tears began running down his burning cheeks, small apologies leaving his wet lips.
“If you wanna cum, beg," your demeanor shifted quickly, fueling his arousal even more.
He couldn’t believe you would make him do something so lewd, but he was too far gone to stop himself, "Please.. p-please [name], 'wanna cum so bad! I'm sorry.. mm sorry!" Kenma's voice came out in pitiful sobs, his desperation evident.
The sound of your tongue clicking, as if you weren’t satisfied with his pleas, only made him more desperate.
“I don’t know… maybe I should make you wait until I can touch you,” you remarked. But all Kenma could focus on was the “until I can touch you.”
The thought of you, looking at him with those pretty eyes as you made him cum on himself over and over again, was too much.
He let out more pleas and whimpers, his hips buckling pathetically into his own hand.
“I need to cum, it hurts. I haven’t in sooo long. Please, just this once.. one time,” he rambled, trying to convince you.
"Alright baby, let it out," you finally relented, and Kenma's moans grew louder as thick white ropes of cum flew out from his sensitive tip, coating his pale stomach. Small thank yous and pieces of your name left his lips as he hit his peak.
"Who knew someone so quiet would moan so loud," you remarked, a hint of amusement in your voice.
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muntitled · 1 month
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heyyyy!! my brain gave me a half-assed thought in the nighttime starring best friend/perv!Lee Minho and bimbo!Reader. Minho's ALWAYS flirting with and staring at you, but you just (somehow) never notice. he likes seeing you wear those little outfits that barely cover you up and always mentions that you should only wear that stuff for him. one day he was just at his limit after another failed attempt at flirting. so, he just pushes you against the wall. you can feel how hard he is behind you, but you didn't see this coming so you're freaking out. and he just tells you "i'm gonna have what i want. so you might as well take what i give you."
-💌 (p.s. i hope this was coherent) ((p.p.s. make sure you take time for yourself to rest and just breathe bc that beautiful mind of yours is so so important!! <3))
𝐏𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲
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Lee Minho x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Language, Angst, Insecurities, Jealousy, Possessive!Minho, Smut +18 (Minors DNI) dub/con, Bratty!reader, Brat Tamer!Minho, Perv!Minho, Dom/Sub Themes, Mean Dom!Minho, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Grinding, Mutual Masturbation, CNC, Overstimulation
Fueling the Dom!Minho agenda
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You did not particularly deal well with being unliked. Everybody has to like you all the time and there is no concrete way to tell your best friend this. Especially while he's driving down the highway, with rain pellets beating down the windshield.
You did not look at Minho when you initially slipped into the car. So completely and utterly suffocated by embarrassment.
The call prior to being picked up had been less than savoury.
"Isn't it too early to be calling me to come save you from your date?" His voice was completely drenched in his ususual smug sarcasm, "Or was he just that fucking boring?"
"I've been stood up and I'm not exactly sure where I am."
Almost immediately, Minho forced you to send your location until he was speeding over to where you sat, in your little dress all alone under the awning of a Michelin star restaurant.
You had thought the worst of the evening was behind you…
The car is completely drenched in silence with neither you, nor Minho knowing exactly how the broach such a sensitive topic. You're embarrassed. He knows this. The only thing evading his understanding is why… Why are you embarrassed when you shouldn't be?
"At least give me a name or an address or something," Minho's voice is dangerously low and you peer up at him with wide eyes from the passenger seat. Seeing him so put together is wholly off putting. Dressed in nothing but his sweats and a polo shirt- all black, all Tom Ford- Minho's gaze is fucking deadly as he glares at the road ahead. His frustration manifests in the form of whitened knuckles gripping a steering wheel for dear life.
"Minho, I'm not giving you his address just so you can go and harass him." The fact that you even had to reiterate this is beyond your comprehension.
"I honest-to-God, just wanna have a word with the guy..." Minho says, swinging his head towards you, completely paralysing you with the depths of his endless dark eyes. Instead of waging a war with Minho (one you knew you couldn't possibly win,) you choose to accept defeat. It consumes your entire countenance as you sink down into the passenger seat, avoiding eye contact.
"Why can't anyone love me?" The rain droplets rattling Minho's vehicle only amplifies the question and for the umpteenth time tonight, Minho is overcome with mass frustration. Again, you should not be the one feeling unwanted. You should not be letting scum of the very earth dictate the trajectory of your self worth. To make matters impossibly worse, another car swerves into his lane, completely cutting him off from a seamless drive.
"Jesus, Fuck!" While Minho curses out the driver, you keep your head against the window.
"I think I'm cursed to stay single and bitchless for the rest of my life."
You didn't get it.
You were a fairly good girl, never once stepping out of bounds. Not at work: where you worked so diligently for a boss who didn't always deserve it.
Not in your adolescence: Where you never rebelled, not even once. You lovingly spared your parents all the heartache even after you matured enough to go to college.
Perhaps the reason all your dates ended with a certified ghosting was because you simply weren't cut out for relationships. That is the most harrowing thought of them all...
Minho's voice pipes up from beside you, effectively saving you from slipping into self pity, "I think you're overlooking one major factor when it comes to staying single and bitchless for the rest of your life," You're already rolling your eyes, "And what's that?"
You can practically hear the pompous smirk as Minho says, "I'm right here. I'm always right here."
Instead of responding, your tone remains wistful and airy.
"The guy took one look at me and gassed the fuck out of the restaurant." Your blood pressure is being shot to hell at just the very thought of the man (who had contacted you first, thank you very much).
"It's like he decided reality didn't match what he saw on tinder and took it all back..." you conclude your rant with a heavy and listless exhale.
Minho, who continued to glare at the wet tar road ahead, allows his mind to conjure up every possible way your 'date' might've died on his way home. Instead of voicing these homicidal thoughts, Minho instead, cleverly and cooly asks, "What kind of weirdos are you going on dates with?"
Your reply comes sickeningly quick. "The kind of weirdos that give me the time of day," and to make matters impossibly worse, you attach a pitiful and dry chuckle to the end of your sentence. "Not everyone is like you, Minho. Not everyone has the luxury of being the object of everyone's desires." His stomach sinks deeper and deeper with the sadness that coats your voice. Anything that might save him from this suffocating feeling at the bottom of his stomach brought on by the sadness in your tone.
"I just don't get it?" Your sad eyes watch as Minho pulls into the parking lot of his apartment complex.
"I didn't smell bad ‘cus I made sure to wear Chanel number five-" Minho can do nothing except clench his jaw. His grip on the steering wheel is deadly as he eases his car into the vacant spot… “and this dress Lix bought me for graduation- I mean he assured me I don't look fucking bloated in it so I assume I looked fine." He tries to make it through your pity party, really, he does. Whenever you found yourself in this state, slipping deeper and deeper into your insecurities, Minho found it terribly difficult to pull you out.
Difficult but not impossible
"I'm telling you," he chooses to say instead, righting his shoulders and cutting off the engine as he forces that confident smirk back onto his face, "If you wanna get laid so badly I'm always a phone call away...."
Instead of entertaining Minho's words, your mind wanders, “Maybe I'm just not hardwired for a relationship. Maybe all I'll have until I reach my deathbed is my rose toy and 5000 cats-”
“False. You have my fingers any time. Or my mouth-”
And for some reason, that statement alone… that one little flirt becomes the undoing of your sanity. “MINHO BE SERIOUS FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS JESUS CHRIST!” You do not know, nor do you care if your voice is loud enough to bleed outside, enough to disrupt any passerbys. You've fucking had it.
With men who disappoint you.
With men who say they'll show up but choose not to.
“I'm telling you I fucking failed this evening! I failed and you're not listening-
In what appears to be a snarky remark to the side, Minho mumbles, “I'm not the one that's not listening-”
“I don't need your teasing right now, Jesus! The fact that I have to spell that out-” you release a sigh “Fucking never mind,” you feel utterly defeated, and before you brain catches up to the movement of your hands, you're already typing frantically for a ride assistance app.
Minho scoffs incredulously. That sunshine smile bleeds quickly into a dangerous glare and he watches as you type frantically across your screen. “Say what you gotta say.”
“I didn't ask you to come pick me up, just so you could interrogate me-” before your sentence could become another uphill screaming match you shake your head in a way that has Minho's knuckles whitening across the inactive steering wheel. His patience was dwindling dismally and he had the vaguest suspicion that you know this.
In fact, you might have always known this: Which buttons to push to get which reaction.
He's noticed it for a while since the peroration of your ‘friendship’. Something that blossomed into a friendship when he so very clearly tried to make it everything but.
“I'm gonna take an Uber home,” you say in a tone he can only describe as bratty.
“I swear to fucking God.” he says, manic eyes crinkling at the sides in a smile of disablief, his tongue jutting against the inside of his cheek.
Minho's not sure what he wants to do but he's damn sure you're not going to like it. “If you set foot out of this car-” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index. Quietly muttering Korean expletives while you sit meekly, taking your scolding. “If you set foot out this car-”
“You're not my father, Minho,” he flinches. “I'm getting my uber-”
“Try it, see what happens.”
“Minho, goodnight.”
The last thing you expect to feel as your hand touches the car handle, is Minho’s larger hand covering your wrist in a calloused grip. His hand is firm, almost concrete and before you're able to process this, he's already dragging your face towards him.
“W-What the f-fuck, Minho, let me go!” the words come out mangled and squashed because Minho has his hands squishing your cheeks in an equally iron grip. Enough to have your teeth pushing against the inside of your cheeks. Enough to have tears stinging your eyes.
“Why the fuck do you never listen?” He whispers, almost to himself. As if he's completely forgotten about the girl, leaning over the centre console because he's squishing her cheeks for dear life. You anticipate the bruises. You can almost feel them coming on.
“It's like you purposely want to piss me off-”
Despite the aircon pouring warm hair to combat the Korean chill you feel very much icy all over. It's as if the chill has seeped into your very bones and it's not long until you're completely wracked in a series of violent shivers. You have never experienced anything like this.
Minho watches in apparent awe at the way your pupils, dark as they, dilate into even darker slits. His hand shifts silently from your cheeks, to your jaw, and lower until his hand is wrapping around your neck.
“Are you wearing panties right now?”
The question hurtles through your foggy brain like a runaway train until you're forced to bore your eyes into his, “What?”
“Which pair are you wearing right now?” He asks, despite the hand already drifting from your neck, all the way down your body. He swipes his hand against your slightly damp skin, prying your thighs apart with his hand as if it were nothing. “I wanna see which you were planning to have on for him,” he knew he wouldn't like, whatever the outcome may be, but he's only just begun this game and he's not ready to stop.
“Minho.” Your hand shoots out to cradle his bicep, which proves to be a deeply harrowing mistake for someone as inexperienced as you are because his arms are so firm, so taut. You instinctively find your thighs opening just a fraction wider, even as you say, “I don't think we should do this.” You begin oh so slowly. Hoping to convey with your eyes, that which you refused to say with your lips. “I want you to stop.” Minho is absolutely breathless at the sight of the stars sparkling in your dazed eyes.
He knows exactly what you want and he's damn well going to give it to you. An escape.
“I've never known a bigger slut than you, you know that?” So casual. So forward. His words nearly have you whimpering into the quiet air.
“I can see how badly you want this,” Never ever letting his gaze stray from your helpless expression, Minho pushes his hand further into the apex of your thighs and you wait. You wait with bated breath for the euphoria to trickle in by the cold tips of his fingers touching the lace of your underwear. “You want it so bad, don't you?”
“I-I- don't,” you force the words out with your hands unknowingly wrapping themselves around Minho's forearm. “This whole time, you knew,” he laughs dryly as he lets the pad of his fingers finally reach your clothed cunt. Your legs are trembling. “You fucking knew I wanted you and yet you still went on your little date anyways,”
That has you momentarily slipping out of your subspace, but before he lets that happen, he's rubbing slow circles against your cunt, with his right hand, a hand closest to the console, easier to reach the most intimate parts of you.
“didn't know, Minho,” the whimpers leaving your mouth are soft, so intimate, like the colour pink personified and it has Minho squeezing his eyes shut for all of a few tense seconds.
When his eyes flutter open again, the old Minho is nowhere to be found. Gone is the overly flirty best friend. Gone is the unnecessary jokester. Gone is the dry humour. The only thing in its place is a stone whisper of a smirk as he says, “Ride my hand.”
“W-What-”
“You don't talk,” he says, before sliding your panties to the side, “Useless little girls don't get to talk.” He says, racking a moan from straight out your throat as his hand presses against your drenched heat. “Useless little girls don't even get to speak.”
“Minho-”
“All you think about is getting to cum, right?” There's so much of a condescending nature in its tone, it almost has you instinctively tightening your grip on the forearm between your legs and pushing your heat against his fingers. The sight of you so worked up by his bad words have Minho cursing under his breath.
You're watching him as if he invented the stars, as if to say ‘What else’, and it drives him to complete madness.
“F-Fuck,”
“She knows how to say bad words,” he cackles as you squish your soaked cunt against his calloused palm. His knuckles are pressed firmly into the seat and his wrist is giving out but his horny brain fog is far too powerful.
“That's it, Petal,” he says, watching almost as if slipping into his own trance, “fuck my hand, I wanna see how bad you want it-”
“P-Please-” You whisper, “I need your cock-”
“You don’t get to make demands when you're being punished,” he mumbles, before leaning his head back against his seat, watching you desperately try to bring yourself to orgasm by rutting your hips against his hand. “Unless, you don't need my help and you'd rather just make yourself cum-”
“NO!” you keep a firm grip on his forearm, bottom lip quivering as you stare at him with wide eyes. “I'm s-so close, please.”
Minho can't help it. The very act of you asking him for something as sacred as an orgasm… It has him trying to adjust the bulge forming in his sweatpants.
“You're close, yeah?” He asks, now entering his own pleasure. He slips his left hand into his boxers while he watches you ride his hand.
“You’re close from humping that wet pussy against my hand?”
“Oh god, yes,”
“You’re such a good fucking girl you know that?” His breathing is heavy now because he's jerking himself off to the same pace as your cunt rubbing itself against his hand.
“You're such a good whore,” he whispers.
“Call me that again- p-please I’m gonna cum!”
“I've always wanted to treat you like the whore I know you are,” he whispers, watching as your eyes slip to the back of your skull, “I hated watching you go on those dates.”
“M-Minho-”
“Kill them,” he whispers silently, “I’ve fucking wanted to kill every single one of them.” he squeezes his cock, feeling his own ripples of pleasure shoot down your spine.
“Y-Yours,” you whisper, “I'm yours-”
“F-Fuck baby-” Sensing Minho slipping into his own prgasm, you grind your cunt harder against his hand. It doesn't take much for you to make a complete mess all over his seats. You're both wracked with a wave of shivers and Minho tries to keep his eyes open as he milks his cock for all it's got. He wants to watch your hips stutter. He wants to see how you look when you cum and he wants to commit it to memory.
He decides it's the most addictive thing he's ever seen.
“No fucking way you made me cum all over myself like some fuckcing teenager,” he grumbles, staring down at the mess he's made all over his shirt.
You're still a panting shivering mess and you yelp when Minho squeezes your sensitive, overstimulated clit.
“Hey,” he says, gaining your attention immediately, “No more dates yeah?”
You do nothing but nod.
<3
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shapard · 2 months
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Sun and Moon 🌙
Lucifer x bunny!sinner!reader
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No one dares to harm his little bunny
When I pre-read the chapter I accidentally read Sailor Moon instead of "Sun and Moon." Got me confused for a second💀
Soft Lucifer, Violence
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You didn’t know how lucky you got when you started to date Lucifer. 
His outgoing nature was so attractive to you. He was a complete contrast to your personality. He is an extrovert, and you are a complete introvert.
He liked meeting new people while you enjoy staying in his garden. He planted your favorite plants in this garden.
You cured his depression with every smile you gifted him. Sometimes Lucifer even spends time with you in the garden. Either on a picnic date or doing gardening.
Even though Lucifer could easily get gardeners to do that job, he couldn't resist how much fun you actually had. When a new flower started to grow you pulled him towards the little sprout.
You're so cute and innocent. How did you even get into hell?
You two loved the peace when you’re alone, no words need to be spoken. Just you two under the red galaxy in pentagram city. 
In the winter Lucifer holds you close to his body as his wings cover the areas his body can’t hold.
Lucifer was madly in love with you.
How soft you spoken and how shy you were in other presence. Meanwhile in his presence you were hyperactive.
You showed him all kinds of things you drew and painted for him. Lucifer was so proud of you. 
Ever since he found you in some bush, completely hurt and bruises scattered all over your body. 
Your little bunny ears dropped in fear when you saw Lucifer approaching you. Your little tail twitched when you saw the juicy red apple in his hand.
You wanted to run off, but the apple smelled so divine and good.
You quickly snatched the Apple out of his hand and ate it in silent, your eyes never left his figure. The juice of the apple is melting on your tastebuds, and you sigh in pleasure. 
This Apple taste amazing. 
Lucifer chuckled at your antics. A blush creeped on your cheek and your ears covered your face.
How embarrassing the moment was for you, for Lucifer it was the cutest thing alife.
 
You sat down on his couch and hissed when the alcohol pad touched your open cuts. “Why were you in the bush anyways?” Lucifer giggled at the flashbacks how you sat there in the mud.
“There were some shark guys. They didn’t stop following me and I was so scared… I don’t even know where I am nor why I’m here.” Your ears sunk a bit and Lucifer regrets bringing such a sensitive topic up. 
You've changed so much and grown fond of him. And that’s where everything begins. 
Lucifer started to make a little bunny that looked just like you. A quick reminder of his cute little bunny girlfriend that awaits him after work.
He lets you stay in his estate to protect you at every cost. You were too adorable to not care about you.
He just loved how your tail wagged when he showed you some of his newer ducks that were inspired by your art.
The walls in his empty and cold mansion started to fill with your paintings. The old pictures of him and Lilith were slowly replaced by your art.
But one day changed everything about your relationship.
Your blood dripped down on the cold surface. The laughs from the shark guys were terrifying. You were scared out of your mind. 
Your phone dropped in front of you, Lucifer contacts are complete on display. “Call your little lover boy.” You shook your head desperately. 'No.'
Lucifer was always helping you out no matter what. You don’t want to be a burden for him, but you found yourself always in trouble. You wanted to cry and disappear.
Meanwhile in the Morningstar estate Lucifer was going crazy.
He was having a phenomenal day with his daughter and when he came back. 
You were gone. 
All that was left was a fur ball of your h/c hair and a little note. The note burned down in his palm as he read through it.
The sharks kidnapped his precious little bunny. His wings sprung free and glides through the air like a knife through butter. 
He couldn’t keep himself from punching into the shark men till they were a puddle of bloody meat. 
He threw your numb body over his shoulder and flew outside, leaving the burning building behind him.
After that event your social anxiety only grew. Lucifer encouraged you to be more social, but it cost more pain than relief.
So instead he gifted you a high quality camera for a new hobby you wanted to explore a long time ago.
Photography.
How couldn't he give in when you looked so excited talking about stuff you wanted.
He left the whole pentagram knowing that no one would lay a finger on them.
No one dares to touch his precious bunny.
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A/n: I couldn't help myself not to share this.
💫
@i-have-no-life-charlie @sirenetheblogger @concentratedconcrete
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spidernuggets · 3 months
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Jason Todd x Reader
"Always an angel, never a God"
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For Jason's whole life, he felt inferior, second, less worthy to Dick Grayson. Dick was charming, kind, and sensitive. It can't be denied that Jason could never be who Dick Grayson is.
That's why when he met you, and when he was absolutely smitten for you, he didn’t mention anything about his family. Especially Dick Grayson. He knew once you met his older brother, you'd drop him in a heartbeat and leave him for Dick.
Sure, you knew that he was the son of Bruce Wayne. But when you mentioned his family, he was quick to drop the subject, and you knew that it was a sensitive topic for him. So you never brought it up again.
You knew he had a falling with Bruce, but you were unaware he had some sort of disliking towards his older brother.
Dick had everything that Jason wanted. Strength, skill, and Bruce's respect. Dick can't have you now. You're the one thing that Jason refuses to let go. He can understand why Dick can have everything he wants. He even understands why you would leave him for Dick. But he wasn't going to let you. He can't.
He just loves you too much.
"Something on your mind, love?" You call out, coming into your shared apartment after a long day of work in your café that you owned.
You walked over behind Jason, who sat comfortably on the couch.
He quickly shook his head, forcing a tight smile on his lips. "Nothin', babe. Just waitung for you to cone home," He replies, reaching his arm up to wrap around your neck, making you lean down, placing a feather light kiss on his cheek, pecks trailing down to his neck.
He leans into your touch, closing his eyes for a quick second just to bask in the affection.
"Oh, by the way," you chime, standing straight again, walking to the attached kitchen behind the couch, talking louder for Jason to hear. "I met someone at the cafe today."
"Mhm? Who was it?" He asked, his attention going back to his novel that he was reading before you came home.
"Your brother, Dick! He's quite the charmer. How come you've never mentioned him?"
Suddenly, Jason forgets what page he's on. Which chapter, which paragraph, which line. All he heard coming out from your mouth was, "He's quite the charmer. He's so good looking. Is he single?"
"Jay?" You tried calling out to him.
He didn't realise he didn't reply to your question. "I... We don't talk much, I guess."
Your brows raise. "Really? Because when I mentiomed you, he couldn't stop talking about you-"
"Whatever- doesn't matter. Just.. Just don't talk to him again if you see him," he quickly says, his insecurities eating away at him.
Your face scrunches up in confusion. You never knew much about Jason's family except for Bruce, Alfred, and Dick. And before you officially met him today, you discovered that Jason had 2 more brothers.
"What? Why? He seems really nice."
Another praise for Dick Grayson. The thought of you leaving him was gnawing at his brain, giving him a sharp headache.
"I said it doesn't matter, just don't," he tries to stay calm, trying to read his novel again.
His stubbirn persistence starts to get on your nerves and makes you think. You understood why Jason didn't want to talk about Bruce. But know he doesn't want to talk about or want you to talk to his brother?
And he isn't even giving you a straight reason for it.
You quietly made your way to the bedroom, stripping away your work uniform and replacing it with sweatpants and Jason's hoodie.
The questions never left your head.
You then realised that when you recognised Dick from multiple news articles, you introduced yourself as Jason's partner, and Dick was... surprised. And he told you that Jason had never mentioned being in a relationship before.
Did... did Jason just not want his family to know about you? Was he embarrassed of you?
You didn't realise you started crying. You couldn't bear the thought of Jason leaving you, let alone be embarrassed of you.
"Babe, I'm sorry, I just-" Jason walked into the bedroom but froze when he saw the person he loved most, sitting on the bed, slouching and with tears rolling down. He quickly ran over to you, kneeling down, trying to hold your fave to wipe away your tears.
His heart shattered when you pushed his hands away and turned your head away from him. "Sweetheart, please, I- I didn't mean to be mean to you, I just-"
You shook your head. "No, Jason, if you want to just end it, just say it now," you weakly say, jumping to conclusion.
Jason felt like he just got shot. But this hurt him so much more than a bullet wound. "En- End it?..."
"Yeah, I already know," you whimper, continuing to avoid his gaze.
You know?? You know about his jealousy? You know about Red Hood? What is it??
"What?" He tried to understand what you meant.
"Stop it! Stop acting like I'm stupid, I know that you haven't even mentioned my existence to your family- not even your own brother! I didn't even know you had more than one! You know, if you were THAT embarrassed of me, you could've just said so, and we could've gone our separate ways ages ago!" You sniffled, finishing off your rant, too tired to give out any further.
Jason only stared at your broken state. This was all his fault. Now you really wanted to leave him, and it was HIS fault, not Dick's.
"Baby. Can you look at me. Please?" He asked in a hush, desperate whisper.
You aggressively shook your head, knowing if you look at him, you'd break down even more.
Still knelt down, Jason takes both your hands in his and leans his forhead on your knees.
"Fine. You don't have to look at me, but please listen. I am not embarrassed of you. I could never be. You are the light of my life- Your existence alone has made my life so much better, so much brighter. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." His grip slightly tightens around your hands. A spark of hope jolts in him when he hears a barely audible giggle coming from you.
You'd recognise that quote from anywhere. You remember it so clearly when Jason read it out to you while he was reading Pride and Prejudice to you.
By the number of times Jason has read that book, he memorised the quote by heart. And when reading the book to you for the first time, when he read out the quote, his eyes were only looking towards you, while you were following along the words.
That moment was the exact time he realised how in love he was with you. He'd memorise love quotes for you. He'd make his own love quotes for you. He'd make a whole book full of love quotes dedicated to you.
You finally turned your head to meet his pleading, glassy eyes. He reached his hands up once more to wipe away any remaining tears, and this time, you let him do it.
"Y/n.." He begins to speak again. "I didn't tell you not to speak with Dick because I was embarrassed of you," he explains.
"Then why-"
He takes in a deep breath. "I always thought Dick was so much better than me. Even if you try to deny it, it's a fact. He is. I never spoke about him, never mentioned you to him because... I thought the moment you knew or saw him, you'd leave me for him," he admits, and it was now his turn to avoid your eyes.
"You're so mean, Jay," you quietly spoke up, in which his head lifts up to look at you. "You're so mean for think I would ever think of leaving the best thing that happened in my life. We are all fools in love," you say, gently holding Jason's face in your hands.
Jason's smile is genuine and bright, knowing how you aw well quote from one of his favourite novels.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, leaning into your touch as you place a kiss to his forhead.
"It's okay, my love," you repond.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Jason didn't tell you about Red Hood. Not just yet. He will, though. Soon. But right now, he just wants to endure this moment, letting his insecurities go, and leaving behind his doubts and worries of you leaving him.
It can't be denied that Jason could never be who Dick Grayson is. Dick had everything that Jason wanted. Except for one thing.
You.
Dick Grayson could never have you. Your heart and love are devoted to Jason Todd. And Jason can finally live his life with you without thinking otherwise.
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AHHH hii angel thank you so much for responding to my last request, it was more than perfect!! 💗
idk if you'd do this because it's a very sensitive topic and i don't want to make you feel uncomfortable but i need a little bit of comfort and reassurance since my bday is in like an hour hehe.. but can i have a bucky with a reader who's attempting to lose weight by dieting and working out but it kinda goes downhill (i think you know what I'm hinting at), and she's like a bit insecure and compares herself to models. and bucky finds out and helps her.. and just a bit angsty but turns out very fluffy with cuddles and stuff. you absolutely don't have to write this request if it's too overwhelming, lot's of love, take care! 💗💗💗💗
- 🦢
my love hi!! you’re more than welcome, glad you liked it!! happy belated birthday, hope you had a great day!! I love stuff like this so it’s no problem. sending love, hope you’re well. thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌
SMALL CHANGES.
bucky barnes x fem!reader — angst & comfort
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word count. 1073
warnings. potentially triggering content? mentions of dieting and working out. might be a hard read for some?
Comparison is the thief of joy. 
It's something you've always struggled with, the endless questioning of yourself, picking yourself apart in ways you believe you don't fit in. It's an easy habit to slip into but a difficult one to break out of. 
As of late, those feelings resurfaced - finding more and more 'faults' when you put yourself up against others. Models. It was as if you got sucked into a spiral of scrolling through images and doubting yourself, all of it leading to you curled up crying in bed. Always. 
No matter how upset you'd be, you'd still find yourself swiping up to see more - feeding that little gremlin in your mind. 
And after a little while, you decided you wanted to do something about those feelings - granted the reasoning behind it wasn't coming from a good place, but you'd be bettering yourself, and that's what you originally wanted.
So you changed your routine: waking up before six, secretly squeezing in an hour workout before joining Bucky on his morning runs, coming back home to have breakfast —an apple— then going about your day only to workout again once you get home. 
You thought food was the enemy, so you restricted yourself with crazy diets and regimes you hear about in Hollywood. You tried a water cleanse, a juice cleanse, keto, even fasting, but no matter how hard you thought you tried, your efforts would not be enough for what you wanted.
All it left you feeling was tired and crappy. No matter how much you hated your body, your body hated you more for what you were doing to it.
You thought you were being sneaky and secretive in the way you were going about it, but you couldn't be more wrong. Bucky, your boyfriend, knew something was running rampant in your mind: every dismissal of a snack you previously loved, every time he watched you dodge a mirror —or on the contrast of seeing you stare too long in one— all of it only confirming what he had hoped not to be true.
It's a sensitive topic, especially to bring up to a loved one. Bucky knew you weren't going to be forthcoming, so he wanted to take the first step.
You were in your shared bedroom, sorting through your dresser to find a clean pair of workout clothes - all of your others drenched in sweat from your previous workouts. 
"Hey, honey?" Bucky calls out, knocking on the ajar door. 
You turn around to see his sweet face, your own almost embarrassed from being caught. "Yeah?" 
"It's almost dinnertime. What do you say about going to that restaurant downtown? The one you love?" he asks, trying to scope you out.
"I have some stuff in the fridge. I bought a bunch of kale that needs eating before it goes bad," you reply, turning away, redirecting your focus to the clothes in your drawer.
Bucky leaves his spot in the doorframe, instead walking over to take a seat at the foot of the bed - behind from where you stand. "That's not food," he softly shakes his head. "Rabbits eat that. Let's get something good. What about a chicken sandwich? Pizza?"
"It is food," you reply. "Put on some pepper and olive oil, then bake it— it's good," you add, trying to convince him and yourself. 
He faintly sighs, resting his elbows on his knees. "No one likes kale."
"Maybe you're not cooking it right," you playfully protest, trying to distract him. 
"No, I cook it right," he stands up, walking to stand beside you. "We haven't gone out to eat for a while. I miss spending time with you like that."
You missed it too - far more than you'd ever anticipate. But you didn't want to slip up again. You already had a few times this week and you didn't want to make a habit of it. 
"I do, too, but I already ate. Maybe in the week?"
"What did you have?" he asks, craning his neck to look at your face.
You hesitate, not having an answer. "I can't remember."
He exhales weakly, your unknown confirmation making his heart sink. His hand reaches for yours, the act like he was pulling your attention back to him. "That means you haven't eaten," he utters, his tone soft - the meaning behind his words almost scolding. 
You feel cornered, and once again, you have no answer for him. 
His grip tightens, gently turning you back to him. "You need to eat, honey. Your body needs it... I know what you've been doing."
After hearing something you didn't want to, your stomach drops. Bucky knew.
"I should've said something when I noticed it," he shakes his head, feeling at fault. "You know you can't keep doing what you're doing?"
You nod meekly, avoiding his eyes. You did know that what you were doing was unhealthy, but you wanted to be like them. If they can do it, why can't you?
"Why have you been doing it?" he asks faintly, cocking his neck to meet your gaze.
"Are you telling me off?"
He's quick to shake his head, denying it almost instantly - both his palms reaching to cup your face. "God, no," his soft eyes bore into yours. "Of course not, honey. Never," he reassures, thumbs grazing over your cheeks. "I just want you to look after yourself."
"I do," you hesitate a response, the words delicate - almost inaudible.
"You don't," he mumbles. "The working out, not eating? You're hurting yourself," he pauses. "If you want to change, I can help you. But we'll do it the right way, okay? None of what you've been doing."
All you can do is nod, silently acknowledging your accidental wrongdoings.
"Just small changes," he leans in, pressing a kiss to your lips. "That's all you need, okay?"
"Okay," you faintly smile, agreeing to the help. 
"So," he starts, removing the placement on the sides of your face. "We're going to go out for dinner. And you're going to order whatever you want— whatever it is you've been wanting to eat," he pauses, noticing the hesitancy in your expression. "And we're going to order water instead of wine. Small changes."
The thought of ordering a meal you've restricted yourself from is enough to make your smile genuine. The idea of having your lover's support making it all that much easier.
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pedgito · 1 year
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hi! would u ever be comfortable writing about eddie's uncut cock? if not, it's totally fine. hope ur having a great day! <3
author’s note: funny you ask, because yes, absolutely. and look, i know people have varying opinions but let me be a whore in peace with my own nsfw headcanons, i don’t care what others think about eddie’s dick because this is just what sits in my brain. this was meant to be a small blurb so ignore the lack of form that i usually keep.
cw: 18+ (minors dni) obviously lots of dick talk what else do you expect, talks of self-exploration/masturbation, eddie dealing with some body issues pertaining to the topic in the ask, handjobs, oral (m receiving), i don’t apologize for any of this.
word count: 1.4k
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eddie doesn't realize how uncommon it is until the reactions become the same and frequent, eventually forcing eddie to hate any kind of sexual interaction outside of himself for a while—he knows it's not a big deal, but the judgey looks and offhanded comments about how weird it was didn't make him impenetrable. it was always there in the back of his mind.
but eddie has always been about self-exploration, maybe to an unhealthy degree as he got older, interacted with girls less, buried himself into hellfire club and his side business of dealing—he usually kept interaction to a minimum, which wasn't hard when most of the school despised him.
and he can't imagine how anything could be better, his dick laying heavy against his belly as his fingers dragged up under his balls, touching delicately, almost teasing in a way before he gripped himself forcefully, tugging down until the head peeks past the skin in all of it's glistening glory, precum smeared over the slit as he slides back up, squeezing the head between his thumb and forefinger under the foreskin.
he thought being this sensitive was normal, but he was proven wrong time and time again. he's learned over time and through a lot of experience how to hold himself back, squeeze himself at the base to keep himself from coming too early or letting go completely, occasionally trying the tactic of squeezing the head until the feeling fades, it works wonders, but still, it doesn’t prepare him for the real thing—he's embarrassed when he's coming in the hands of some beautiful girl he sat next to in english class at the beginning of his first senior year, only some unrhythmic strokes of her hand and her thumb rubbing over the head of his cock before he's there, spilling over her hand without warning.
and when he’s really eager and seeking the relief, he's quick, knowing just the ways to touch himself, how sensitive the head of his cock can get under the skin and he's there before he can even process, groaning through clenched teeth.
he meets you somewhere between the beginning of his hopefully last year of school and the few weeks before then end of '85—he doesn't understand how you came into his life, telling himself how he surely manifested you, that there's no possible way you were real.
regardless, eddie's is riddled with nerves the first time you touch him, making some off-handed comment about how not pretty his dick is, hoping it isn't a total deal breaker.
you can't help but look at him, eyes wide but your gaze scewed, confused on why any of that would matter. you can't remember the last time you've found that to be a dealbreaker.
when you finally get his pants down, sneaking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers until his dick springs free, you realize just how dramatic eddie was being about the whole thing, having been fed some idea that uncut dicks weren't as acceptable as the contrary and it's a shame, because if it isn't the prettiest dick you've ever seen, arguing his earlier statement with a quick quip that has eddie laughing through his nervous blush.
"eddie—i don't say this to too many guys, none actually," you glance up at him briefly before trailing your fingers along the hard ridge of his abdomen, barely grazing him, "your dick is very pretty."
"careful," eddie warns with a grin, teeth peeking through slightly, "you'll give me an ego."
eddie watches you wearily, your eyes taking in the full sight of him as your fingers wrap around the shaft, the soft velvety texture of his skin pressing against your palm and fingertips.
his thick, not so much that it's intimidating but he fills out your hand in the best way and somewhere between seven and eight inches, the head of his cock a deep pink that slightly contrast the softer shade of his skin and you're pulling the skin back to rub your thumb over the tip, earning a hiss from eddie in response.
"sensitive?" you ask teasingly, smiling at eddie's reaction before you repeat your previous movements, circling his head with a torturous pressure that has eddie gripping the pillowcase above his head, chin tilting down slightly against his chest to look at you, his eyes squeezing shut momentarily as the feeling becomes too much.
"okay, okay," he rushes out, "maybe ease up on that unless you want—want this to be over in the next five seconds."
he's right, so you relent, continuing the slow drag of your hand as you gauge his reactions, the easy glide that the skin creates until you're leaning forward to lick a stripe along the underside of his dick, tracing along the faint vein that ran there before you’re practically drooling over him, the mix of your spit and his own precome making it more overwhelming before you're closing your mouth over him completely, keeping the same pace of your hand as your mouth hollows out around the tip.
eddie feels like he might die, but he's fully accepting it.
"oh fuck—shit, that's so much better than—" eddie rambles mindlessly, "never—never had anyone suck my dick before."
which is a shame, because it's easily becoming your favorite thing.
"can't see how," you reply as your bottom lip drags along the ridge of his blushed tip, “but i guess that makes me lucky.”
“just—girls always looked at me strange, said it was weird,” eddie comments, “like i have any control over that, guess my parents have always been destined to fuck me over, even from birth.”
you laugh along with him, his rambling thoughts slipping past his lips and filling the quiet lull of the air.
you were so thankful eddie wasn’t the type to stay quiet, because while his sounds were torture, the way his voice cracked with every few words was even better. you let him talk as much as he pleased until he physically couldn’t, his fingers slipping over the top of your head and into your hair, squeezing lightly as your shifted your hand up, skin slipping back over the head as you pressed your tongue over the small glimpse of his slit that was still visible, moaning softly as he tugged a little harsher, mumbling something under his breath you couldn’t make out.
“can’t wait to have you inside me,” you confess, his eyes lighting up as they connected with yours, “don’t ever want you thinking anything negative about yourself again, either—it’s not true.”
eddie nods slightly, “fuck—can’t say stuff like that with my dick in your mouth, sweetheart.”
you prod further, breath ghosting over his dick as you spoke, “why?”
eddie groans quietly, speaking through gritted teeth, “really need you to stop unless you’re okay with me coming in your mouth—i’d hate—hate to do that without asking.”
your teeth drag along your bottom lip, biting at the skin briefly.
“is that you asking?” you giggle softly, stopping briefly with skin pulled back to take him into your fully and fast, earning a choked gasp from eddie.
eddie nods again, more needy, “uh huh—yes, yes—god, please—“ and it’s only a few seconds later that he’s spilling into your mouth, his own hand wrapping around his shaft to pump it quickly, swatting your own hand away, salty slick pooling over your tongue in spurts, the warm liquid wouldn’t be as enticing if it wasn’t for it being from eddie—and you wouldn’t dare let a man come in your mouth like this, but eddie had earned that right.
you pull back slowly, swallowing for show as eddie squeezed at his dick, thumb rubbing over the head tenderly as his body jerked slightly with aftershocks.
“i’ve never���“ eddie sighs heavily, catching his breath, “never came that hard, holy fuck. i’ve always been sensitive but jesus—“
“i guess that’s quite the perk then,” you tease, crawling back up the slowly until your clothes cunt is pressed over his slowly soften dick, “amongst others.”
“you sure it doesn’t gross you out?” eddie asks curiously, having been programmed to always think it does, needing to hear the words for reassurance.
you grind the soft fabric cover your hips over his cock, feeling the subtle pressure it applies and watching eddie wince from the overstimulation, chucking weakly.
“positive.” you smile, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss against his lips, quickly turned dirty from eddie’s obvious impatience, his tongue slipping into your mouth to taste a mix of you and himself, the tanginess strange but welcoming as you moaned into his mouth openly.
“about being inside you—“ eddie starts, speaking softly against your lips, “can i take you up on that?”
“i thought you’d never ask.”
and it’s safe to say that eddie never doubts himself again, learning just how beautiful every piece of him is.
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bwabys-scenarios · 1 month
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Can we see a chubby!reader who maybe doesn't know that Feitan is part of the phantom troupe, so she doesn't think Feitan can carry her but then he proves her wrong (maybe with a little bit of angst because she's self conscious, and then comfort because Feitan loves that there's more of her)
Idk if that made sense
Perfect
Feitan x Chubby!Fem!Reader
!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!
A/N: another short one… but I like it!! Join my server !!
warnings: insecure reader, a bit of internalized misogyny
SFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @aliceattheart @atransmuter
‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️
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You had been dating Feitan for nearly a year now, and you still knew so little about him. His whereabouts while he was out of town were a mystery to you, and you had no idea what he did for work. All you did know was that he didn’t have a normal job.
When you jokingly asked him if he was in the mafia, he scoffed. “Mafia bunch of puss- wimps. Not part of it, not by long shot.”
You were a little perturbed by his answer, but couldn’t help laughing at the way he censored himself for your sake. He seemed to see you as some kind of delicate princess, closer to a porcelain doll than human. Feitan was always extremely gentle when touching you, his hands almost hesitant when making contact with your skin.
This was something you didn’t understand. Throughout your life, people viewed you as bigger, tougher, when in reality you were quite easily hurt, both physically and mentally. The topic of your weight had been a sore subject…
But your Fei wasn’t really good with reading social cues.
“Eat good. Here, for big girl.”
You stared at your boyfriend as he used his chopsticks to drop an extra egg roll on your plate. In your mind, you know he meant nothing by it. He was friends with larger people like Uvogin who ate tons to keep up his strength and figure.
But your heart felt hurt. You pushed your plate away and huffed. “Hmph.”
He was bad about assuming things, even if you knew it Feitan wasn’t being malicious, it still hurt your feelings when he assumed random things because of your body type.
But what you didn’t know, was that Feitan wasn’t assuming anything. You were his girlfriend, he had to provide for you and make sure you ate well. In meteor city, having meat on your bones usually meant you were well taken care of, and all he wanted to do was make sure you ate.
Feitan, though… he wasn’t good at communicating that. Or communicating at all, really, so he just stared as you pushed away the food. He scoffed, slightly offended that you turned down his offer.
“Why huff? Being brat.”
You sniffled, standing up and storming off. Feitan wouldn’t let this slide, he hated seeing you upset.
The dark haired man caught your wrist, squeezing with just enough force to catch your attention. “Why act like this? Made you mad?”
You pouted, puffing out your chubby cheeks. “Mmph… it’s embarrassing. You’re thin and I’m not… aren’t girls supposed to be dainty and small? Isn’t that what you would prefer, someone you could easily pick up?”
You wiped the tears from your eyes, not daring to look back at your lover.
But you didn’t have to look, because he turned you around and began lifting you with ease. Once you were in the air, he held onto your ass, squeezing softly. You squeaked and immediately wrapped your plump thighs around his waist for support, your cheeks burning with embarrassment.
“See? Easy. My little bunny.”
He held you in his arms, not straining or struggling in the slightest. It was like you weighed nothing at all to him and it was… relieving.
“Can’t understand? You… are mine.”
He huffed, sitting down with you in his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist. “We clear?”
You snuggled him, burying your teary face into his neck. “Yeah…”
Feitan tried to be a bit more sensitive with you after that, and made it a point to carry you around and show you off to his friends. It was a little embarrassing… but you felt loved and beautiful.
And that was all you needed.
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ohthewh0rror · 6 months
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I’VE DUG TWO GRAVES FOR US, MY DEAR.
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˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt — “Can I request Tom riddle x (fem!) reader angst? Basically, they have been trying for a long time to have children, but haven’t succeeded. So, to have an heir, Tom gets Bellatrix pregnant and obviously hasn’t told reader. Reader finds out shes pregnant and goes to tell Tom and show him the pregnancy test, but right outside his study she hears him ask Bellatrix „how is my heir doing? Is my child healthy?“ and reader drops the test in front of his study, where Tom finds it later, and leaves.”
Part 2
Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader
Word count: 3.6K
A/N: “but baaaabe, she doesn’t even mean anything to me” and for him he MEANS it, that’s the worst part. Oh god I’m going to be sick. I headcanon him as loyal and now he’s out here embarrassing me. Anyway, thank you to my best friend Madie for helping me choose the right ending for this and for proof-reading for me. To the requester: I didn’t take the suicide route bc that’s a very sensitive topic that I have personal ties to. But yeah, if anyone wants it I’m 100% down to write a part 2 to this.🖤🖤
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You felt wrong.
Well, not exactly you, just something felt wrong. You felt on edge, tense, like you were just waiting for the galleon to drop. There was no explanation for the way you were feeling, at least not one you could think of. But you couldn’t help but feel on edge, your mind racing as you resisted the urge to continuously look over your shoulder throughout the day.
You had hoped that the feeling would be gone by the end of the day, but as you sat with Tom having dinner the feeling was still there. You wanted to hide it from him, but you just knew he could see the slight shake of your hand as you poked mindlessly with your fork at the food in front of you. Though, either out of courtesy to you or him just not wanting to deal with it at the moment, he didn’t ask.
No, it wouldn’t be until the two of you had gotten into bed for the night that he would.
As you settled into bed, you felt Tom’s arm wrap around your waist, pulling you close. While you would normally welcome this, as it was rare that Tom would hold you in such a way, the unusual action added to your sense of unease. You felt his lips press a kiss just behind your ear before he asked, “there’s something bothering you, what is it?”
You didn’t know how to tell him, or if you even wanted to tell him. You didn’t want Tom to think negatively of you, to think you were officially losing it, but a part of you knew Tom wasn’t going to drop it. What Tom wanted, Tom got, one way or another. So, reluctantly, you told him.
“I’m not sure, I just don’t feel right, not in a sick way but—,” you paused, mentally kicking yourself for admitting it out loud, “I feel as if something bad is about to happen, something very bad.” Tom said nothing, but you could feel his hold on you tighten just a fraction. There was a few seconds of silence before Tom finally spoke again, “I see, I’m sure you are alright, you probably just need to rest.”
You know this was his way of comforting you, but it did nothing to help how you felt. You tried taking his words to heart though, and forced yourself to relax, attempting to get some sleep.
6:23 am.
You stared at the ticking hands of the clock on the wall, watching them dutifully count the time, hoping the dullness of it all would help you fall back asleep. It did nothing to help you, though, and instead just aided in helping your mind wander. You went through every possibility, until you were left with two options.
Tom was up to something… or you were pregnant. You didn’t want to think of the first option, it was a thought that left you upset even considering, but he had been distant for the past 4 months. He did not treat you any different, but he seemed… distracted. Where he once did not mind if you opened his letters for him, he now tightly guarded them. You tried asking him why, but he said it was to protect you if things went bad. He attempted to explain your worries away, saying he did not want you implicated in anything he was up to.
Not to mention he was out the house more— Death Eater business, he tells you. Always that. It almost made you angry how much time he spent working towards his grand scheme when all you wanted was just some of his time. At first you tried to push back on it, but soon realized it did nothing to sway him. Tom did what he wanted, regardless of the feelings of others.
Despite all this you refuse to accept Tom may be up to something behind your back. He was your husband, and he loved you, even if he did not express it often. So that left you with one conclusion: you’re pregnant.
It was a possibility that had been hanging in the back of your mind, but not one you wanted to genuinely entertain. After years of trying and it being false alarms have left you with nothing but negative feelings towards the process of finding out. You did not want to get your hopes up once again, as each negative was becoming more and more unbearable.
You couldn’t just rule it out without taking a test though, so you had no choice but to do so. Not wanting to go to a healer and have them check on you magically, you decided to instead go about it the muggle way. You had heard during your younger years, while at Hogwarts, that muggle women had measures of finding out on their own in the comfort of their own bathroom. So that’s what you set off to do, after getting dressed of course.
Entering muggle London, it was hard not to stick out. While you tried to dress as casual as you possibly could, you knew there was still something off about how you dressed. No one seemed to mind though, letting you walk through the busy streets without much more than a double take. It didn’t take long for you to find what looked like a small store, you hoped to Merlin that they had what you needed.
As you walked around the small shop, you realized what you were doing was beyond ridiculous. You were truly out of your league as you browsed the aisles looking for what you needed. You were beginning to get frustrated when you heard a feminine voice from the left, “excuse me, miss, can I help you find something?”
You paused, stopping midstep, turning your head to look at who was speaking to you.
The girl, who couldn’t have been any older than 19, seemed to be a shop attendant. She had on what you could only guess was typical muggle attire, and a vest with the name of the shop on it. You nodded, “yes, I need the test that will tell me if I’m pregnant or not.”
The shop girl gave you a look, and you began to worry more that you were sticking out far too much. “You mean a pregnancy test?” She asked. “Yes, that,” you replied, hoping she would just show you where it was and stop talking to you. Thankfully she seemed to have read your mind, gesturing you to follow her. She took you to the aisle furthest back in the store, pointing out the shelf that was filled with a dozen different options. You thanked her, and she left you alone with all the different tests.
Looking over them all you picked the one you thought would be best, but as you held the test you had a revelation, ‘I have no muggle money’. You froze, now weighing your options. You could leave and convert the money, coming back at a later time, or you could just…take it. Leaving was the morally correct choice, but just taking it was the more tempting one as it would save you the trouble of explaining to Tom why you needed muggle money if word got back to him.
So, looking around and making sure no eyes were on you, you silently cast a spell, hiding the box from any prying eyes. As you walked out the store you couldn’t believe what you had done. Stealing? From a muggle establishment? How scandalous! As you walked down the street you shook your head, banishing the thought from your mind. You didn’t have time to worry about the ethics of stealing from muggles. You needed to know if you were pregnant.
Thankfully, it was a little easier to find a place to use the restroom. You sat on the toilet, reading the box, and the instructions seemed easy enough. You followed them exactly before capping the test, holding it in a way where the results faced away from you. You didn’t want to see the results, too scared of it being negative once again. After what you considered an appropriate amount of time, you flipped the test over.
Positive.
‘It’s wrong, it has to be,’ you thought to yourself as you eyed the muggle pregnancy test. The test was wrong, it’s a defective muggle device. You’d make an appointment with the healer as soon as possible until you could confirm it for sure and you’d keep it a secret from Tom until then. You didn’t want to tell him, only for it to be a false positive and get his hopes up fruitlessly.
So, you wrapped the test tightly and tossed it in the bin. Washing your hands, you made your way out of the muggle establishment, and to an empty corner before apparating to the edge of yours and Tom’s property. You stood there for a moment, taking in the site of your shared home, wishing you had some calming draught on hand.
You knew as soon as Tom saw you he’d know something was wrong. Tom had always said you weren’t a very good liar, and you knew with the state you were in right now that if he tried to pry your secret would come tumbling out before you had the chance to stop it.
You couldn’t stand out here all day though, the November air was more than chilly, and you were going to freeze if you didn’t go in soon. You took a steadying breath and walked forward with your head held high, taking your time to get to the doors, attempting to look casual. You were halfway up the set of stone stairs leading up to the front doors, when they began to open. For a split second you felt yourself panic on the inside, thinking maybe it was Tom who came to greet you, until your house elf Poppy came into view.
“Welcome back, madam,” the little elf said, ushering you in.
“Hello, Poppy,” you said. You had never been happier to see a house elf in your life. As Poppy shut the doors behind you, and she ushered you to the dining room, she informed you that Tom had already left for the day, leaving you to have breakfast alone. Normally that would have left you disappointed, you and Tom made sure to always eat breakfast and dinner together, and this would be the first time in a long time that you ate alone. But, after the morning you had, you relished in the absence of conversation.
“Poppy, please make an appointment for me with a healer,” you asked, sitting down at the dining table. Poppy nodded wordlessly before leaving you to go make the appointment.
It was a week later that you found yourself sitting in a sterile room, awaiting the results. You wanted so desperately for it to be true. You’d never recover if you found out the test had lied. Tom still didn’t know about the possibility of your pregnancy, but then again, it wasn’t hard to hide it from him with how busy he’d been this past week. And seeing as your mind was preoccupied, you hadn’t pushed on what had him so busy.
Just as your mind began to drift from boy names, to more feminine names, the door to your right clicked open. The healer gave you a bright smile, greeting you. The forced politeness left a bad taste in your mouth as you just wished for the results so you could get home. You gave a tight-lipped smile back, and a similar greeting. The healer stopped in front of you, flipping one of the papers up, quickly reading its contents before looking at you once again.
“Well, Mrs. Riddle, it seems you certainly are pregnant!” He congratulates you, before explaining how far along you seem to be and that he needs you back in a month. You’re still in a daze when he hands you the paperwork, telling you your diagnosis and other information regarding your pregnancy. It feels too good to be true, and you’re not sure if you should laugh, cry, or do both as you leave the office.
You’re pregnant. You’re actually pregnant. You walk down a secluded alley, casting the muffliato charm as you buried your head in your hard, a soft cry erupting from you. You both had tried so hard for so long and it’s finally happening, you are finally having the child you both wanted. You let yourself cry from the overwhelming feeling of happiness for a moment longer before collecting yourself. You needed to tell Tom, you knew this was just the news he needed.
Tom was working from home today, something you had never been so happy about before today. It made the process of talking to him much easier than if he left to Merlin-knows-where to do what he needed. But, as you walked up those stairs to the hallway that his office was down you felt your heart plummet.
Tom was here, but so was another woman.
You quieted your steps, hoping to figure out who the woman was and what they were talking about. It was difficult as the door was mostly shut and they were talking in hushed tones. But, as you stepped off the stairs and into the hallway you recognized the voice of the woman immediately.
Bellatrix Lestrange.
A woman that you held more than just disdain for. She is the only female Death Eater Tom has recruited, and not only that, she was his second in command. While Tom didn’t see any of his Death Eaters as true equals, even you knew he seemed to favor her over the rest of them. Bellatrix seemed to revel in this fact, and despite being married herself, her loyalty seemed to lay more with your husband than her own. She did whatever Tom asked, no matter what it may be, without even a hint of resistance. You truly believe if Tom asked her to kill herself, she would do it without hesitation.
As you walked closer to the door they seemed to have stopped talking, but before you could knock and let yourself be known, you heard something that knocked the breath out of your lungs.
“You had a check-up last week, did you not? How is my heir?” Tom sounded casual, as if he was asking Bellatrix about the weather. His heir? His heir? Your mind was sent reeling as you began to hyperventilate. You quietly backed away from the door, walking as silently but also as quickly as you could away. But, as you turned to leave you nearly tripped over your own two feet, the papers you were holding falling to the ground. In your distress you left them, not being bothered to pick them up, as you caught yourself and hurried down the hallway intent on putting space between yourself and the cracked office door.
You found yourself in a guest room on the other side of the house, away from Tom and Bellatrix, away from the source of your heartbreak. You sit on the edge of the bed, and cast the muffliato charm for the second time today. After you cast the spell, you finally let yourself feel completely. Your heart shatters into tiny crystallized bits, the shards of it dig into every crevice of your sternum, leaving you clutching at your chest as it pierces your lungs and esophagus. Your chest and throat have an indescribable ache as a piercing wail leaves you, the pain of his betrayal leaving you feeling something beyond devastation.
The knowledge that he cheated on you was painful enough, but the fact that it was Bellatrix made it all the more painful. He knew how you felt toward their dynamic and his trust in her. It was as if he chose her on purpose, to tell her that Bellatrix is a more suitable partner for him.
How Bellatrix was everything she wasn’t: unwaveringly devoted to him, believed in his pureblood ideology, and stood by him on it. Bellatrix could also give him children, and she couldn’t.
Or so he thought. He didn’t know she was pregnant yet. Maybe that was for the best, you considered, as you sat in that empty room, fingers wringing together painfully as you tried to calm yourself. As you attempted to gather yourself, knocking on the door began to reverberate throughout the room, causing a panic inside you. You cleared your throat, and took in a breath, hoping to gather yourself before addressing who was on the other side. Lifting your wand you released the muffling charm, “come in.”
Your voice still wobbled as the words left you, leaving you mentally kicking yourself. The door opened, revealing Tom, on the other side. As he took in the sight of you, sniffling and teary-eyed, he walked in completely, softly shutting the door behind him. Looking at him sent a surge of anguish through you, a new wave of tears gathering in your eyes. The vision of Tom doubled as your lips began to wobble as you held back your tears. You were unable to see the look on Tom’s face as you looked away, trying to calm yourself once again, so you weren’t quite sure what he was thinking.
Getting on one knee before you, Tom placed his left hand on your knee as his right reached up, wiping at your tear streaked face. You let out a shuddering breath, finally looking at him. Tom’s face was the most expressive you’d ever seen it, if you hadn’t been in such a miserable state you would have taken a moment to admire it.
There was a look of genuine worry on his face as the both of you looked at each other. The silence was suffocating, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be the one to break it. There was nothing you wanted to say to him, you could hardly bear to look at him, much less talk to him.
“Why are you upset, darling? This is wonderful news” Tom sounded sympathetic in his attempt to comfort you. You let out a laugh in disbelief, you could not believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Wonderful news? In what world is this ‘wonderful news’?” You were close to yelling by the time you finished talking, feeling your sadness morph into something far uglier: anger. Tom at least had the decency to look taken aback, seeming to not expect the response he received.
Tom’s eyes searched yours for a moment before his expression became guarded, he gave your hand a squeeze before standing up, “it seems we are talking about two different things.”
You said nothing, there was nothing you could say that he hadn’t just deduced for himself, and it seemed he knew that too as he continued speaking.
“Y/N, you have to understand, I needed to ensure I had an heir and we hadn’t been successful in getting you pregnant,” Tom tried to explain. You’re sure in his head that this was logical, just the rational choice to get around your fertility issues. But to you, this was anything but the best next step. There was no reasoning good enough to make this okay; it will never be okay. This is a wound that may scar over, but will always ache when brushed against.
“You had an affair with a woman who I already voiced my concern about, without even consulting me on your decision, and expect me to understand?” You asked, incredulously. Tom, though looking mildly annoyed, still had the decency to also seem a touch guilty. “I didn’t step out of our marriage for pleasure or some sort of validation, you've always been the only one for me, it was merely to—” you decide to cut him off. “Produce an heir,” was all you said, finishing his sentence for him.
A heavy silence hung in the air, what you said leaving a palpable bitterness in the air. Tom still had the same touch of guilt in his eyes, but it wasn't enough. The guilt wasn’t strong enough to let him take full accountability for how wrong he was. Tom reached out, his hands cupping the back of your neck as his thumbs grazed your jawline, forcing you to look at him.
“It will be okay, I made a mistake by not telling you my plans, I apologize,” Tom may have sounded sincere, but it wasn’t good enough. Nothing will ever make up for what he has done to not only your relationship, but also to your trust in him. You reached up, and gently removed his hands from your face before standing up yourself, forcing him to take a few steps back.
“No, it’s not going to be okay; it will never be ‘okay’. You didn’t just make a mistake, you ruined our marriage, and for that, Tom, I hate you.”
And you left.
Leaving your husband to stand in that spare room, alone, with only his thoughts to keep him company.
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snowyquokka · 2 months
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cw: mentions of s/h scars, insecurities, hurt/comfort, soft chan, 3rd person fem pov, swearing, mentions of body worship, small caps on purpose (please let me know if i missed any)
wc: 0.7k
a.n - HUGE DISCLAIMER. please please refrain from reading if you’re sensitive to any of the topics above. this is meant to be a vent post and NOT glorification of s/h, mental illnesses, ect. feel free to scroll if necessary. and if you want/need to talk my dms are always open. i love you all <3
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
looking at herself in the mirror, y/n sighs. she ghosts her fingertips over the lines of scar tissue littering her outer thigh, each one a reminder of every time she’s struggled.
each one proof that she overcame them. that she survived.
even though she knows this she can’t help but critique them, and herself.
how could she have been so weak, so fragile that she let her thoughts and feelings consume her life so much to the extent that she broke.
fortunately for her, there had always someone there that picked up the shards of her soul that had been scattered around. he glued them back together with his love and overtime handed her heart back in one piece, almost as if it never was broken in the first place.
“hi baby,” chris greets as rests his chin on her shoulder, dragging her out of her thoughts.
“hey,” she mumbles, continuing to run her fingers over the length of a particularly large scar. her boyfriend’s hands move to hold her hips, afraid that if he lets go she’ll slip through his fingers.
“what did i tell you about that, hm?” his voice is low and gentle as he scans over her body. the same body that he quite literally worships, always reassuring her of his adoration.
y/n sighs and pinches her eyes shut so she doesn’t have to look at him as she replies, “criticizing them is almost as bad as creating them.”
chris pulls y/n closer before whispering into her ear, as if they weren’t the only ones in the room. “exactly. now look at me, baby.” y/n shakes her head, feeling too embarrassed.
“baby girl. look at me.” chris manages to keep his composure despite feeling about a dozen emotions at once. though, it’s not the first time she’s been like this and they both know that it won’t be the last. he’s never minded it, actually, and never will. he would rather her talk about her urges then act on them. however, he’d never let that happen as long as he’s alive.
y/n lifts her gaze to meet his in the mirror, watching as his lips curl into his familiar, warm smile.
“there she is,” he murmurs, “can i?” chris’s hand creeps down from her waist to her leg where her shorts are raised, her insecurities on display for him.
she nods as she leans back against his chest. she follows his fingers as they trace over the largest scar tainting her skin.
“no matter how many times i see them, i’m never going to stop loving them. loving you. but you know this already, don’t you baby?” y/n nods. of course she knows, chris doesn’t give her a moment to doubt- or even forget his words. and he never will.
“you’re strong, y’know that? you are so very strong. and i know you hate hearing it but it’s the truth. you persevered and even though it pains me to admit it, you did it all on your own. that takes guts, baby.” chris buries his face in her neck, placing soft kisses on the column of her throat.
they stay like this for a while: his arms wrapped around her as he sways back and forth. he finally breaks the silence after he turns her to face him. he cups her jaw before placing a soft kiss on her lips.
“c’mon. let me run you a bath, yeah? i’ll make you some tea too.” y/n nods and smiles at him.
“thank you,” she laces their fingers together.
“for what, baby?”
“for loving me,” chris frowns slightly and pulls her into a comforting embrace, engulfing her in his warmth.
“you don’t ever need to feel the need to thank me for that, okay? i’ll always be here.”
whoever said that you can’t love somebody else until you love yourself was a fucking liar. chris is walking proof of this
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siredtosturniolos · 22 days
Note
I don’t know if you’re writing for Chris but I have a request. Reader is a virgin and is inexperienced like she has zeroooo clue about sex and she is hella shy.
Chris is her first time and he’s teaching her and is helping her to talk about the things she wants because she gets embarrassed really fast when she’s talking about this topic. Just make it smutty but also cute. I had a dream about this last night I NEED A FIC ABOUT IT. U can come up with everything just be very detailed. I hope u understand everything, English isn’t my first language 💗💗
nervous
Paring: Chris Sturniolo x Reader
Summary: You and Chris had just started dating, and you were finally spending the night at his house for the first time. One kiss leads to another, and you can't help but feel lost. You want Chris but you were nervous, as this would be your first time.
Warnings: smut, first time, Y/N is used, pet names ofc. (praise kink if u squint)
Authors note: Thank you for the request! I actually love this sm. (Keep sending in requests, I write for Matt as well!)
Word count: 2769 (holy shit??)
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
My heart begins to pound against my chest as Chris kisses me, blindly leading me towards his room. My fingers were tangled in his hair, tugging slightly as his tongue traced my bottom lip, making Chris let out a soft groan into the kiss. My back was pushed against a cold surface, to which I could only guess it to be Chris’ door.
Chris’ hands find their home on my waist, his hips surging forward so I can feel how hard he is for me. Chris breaks the kiss to leave a trail of kisses down my neck, beginning to suck onto my soft skin of my collarbone.
“Chris!” I gasp out, my back arching into his touch. He smirks against my sensitive skin before he bites softly, driving me wild. He uses his tongue to soothe his previous attack, making it all the more pleasurable.
Chris returns to his full height, “You look so good like this sweetheart.” He murmurs, letting his eyes scan over my features, “Can’t wait to see how you look when you cum on my cock.”
My breath hitches at his words, stumbling after Chris as he lets me walk into his now open bedroom. I make my way to his bed biting my lip, I was nervous for what was to come, but I was ready.
The hardest part would be having to tell Chris, knowing he’d get upset if I didn’t. Chris shuts and locks his door before turning to face me. I twist my hands together, one of my unfortunate nervous habits, and he quickly takes notice.
He glances down at my fidgeting hands, “Baby, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” He speaks gently, walking to stand in front of me. He takes one of my hand into his, bringing it to his lips to place a gentle kiss.
I shake my head, “I want this.” I reply, itching to snatch my hands out of his grip. I could feel my cheeks flush with heat underneath his gaze, and tears threatened to fill my eyes.
“Then what’s got you so nervous?” He quietly asks, lifting his other hand to my cheek, to guide my head upwards to meet his eyes. Panic shoots through his expression as he meets my own watering eyes, moving to take a seat next to me.
“You.” I whisper to him, closing my eyes, “This will be my first time.” I admit, keeping my eyes closed. I couldn’t bare to see the look on his face right now.
I hear him quietly gasp from beside me, “You can’t be serious?” He asks, making me frown.
I open my eyes to look at Chris, who looked completely shocked, “I know, I’m 20 years old and have never been with someone. I understand if you don’t wanna be with me either.” I mumble, and begin to stand.
Chris stops me, “Baby, no. I’m honored to be your first, if you want me to be. We can wait if you want even, I’m in no rush.” He smiles softly at me, making my heart warm. "I'm just surprised you hadn't had sex before, you're so damn sexy."
"Why haven't you told me this before?" He asks, making me take a deep breath.
I shrug, "It's embarrassing Chris, I dunno."
He places a sweet kiss to my forehead, "You've got nothing to be embarrassed about with me, okay?"
I nod in understanding, “I’m ready for you now, Chris.” I whisper as he wipes the stray tear that had fallen. Chris nods and leans in to kiss me again. It starts off as sweet, but within a few moments it’s gotten messy and rough. Chris slots his tongue past mine, licking my teeth has me moaning out.
Chris leans further into me, and I take it as a hint to scoot backwards onto his bed. I let my head fall against the pillows as Chris climbs on top of me, running his hands from my thighs to my waist. He pulls away briefly to remove his zip up hoodie and his shirt, and my jaw wants to fall open.
Sure, Chris has been shirtless in front of me before, but it just felt different this time. I bring one hand to the center of his chest, and I can't help but grin as I feel how quickly his heart is beating. Chris rolls his eyes at me, and lifts my other hand to his chest as well.
He drops his hands and I begin to move mine, dropping to his stomach, letting my acrylic nails slightly scratch at the sensitive skin of his lower stomach. Chris lets out a quiet whimper as I do this, and I can't help but try to roll my hips, seeking some sort of relief.
"I wanna hear what feels good to you." He states as he leans up to kiss me briefly, "Wanna know what you like." I hum in response, letting him know I heard him.
Chris begins to play with the bottom of my shirt, "Can I take this off baby?" He asks, making my hands freeze. I look at anywhere but him when I nod, "Wanna hear words, pretty girl." He murmurs, grabbing my chin so I would look at him.
My cheeks flush, "Please take it off." I whisper, biting my lip as Chris mutters praises while slowly inching my shirt upwards. I lift my arms and help him remove it from my body, quickly leaning back against the bed.
Chris' jaw drops, taking in my bare chest for the first time, "Fucking perfect." He groans, lifting both hands to cup my breasts, making me gasp. My eyes fall shut as he pushes them together, his thumbs running over my nipples. "Eyes on me sweetheart." He speaks, making me let out a whine.
I meet his eyes just for him to lean down and take my nipple into his mouth. Instantly I'm arching my back into his chest, my hand flying to the back of his head. "Chris." I gasp as he lightly sucks around my sensitive bud, I subconsciously grind into him making him moan around my tit and I swear I'm in heaven.
He switches to the other one as I keep grinding against him, tugging on his hair as his mouth gets greedy, his teeth slightly scrapping my skin. He releases my abused bud and begins to kiss downwards, shuffling down the bed.
"Did you like that baby?" He asks cockily, as if he didn't know the answer already. I stay silent, which he doesn't like, as he suddenly nips at my hip.
"Fuck, yes I liked it." I grit out, peering down at him as he helps me spread my legs so he could rest between them.
"Good girl." He praises me, squeezing at my inner thighs. I whine, the anticipation nearly killing me at this point. He meets my eyes as he begins to roll my shorts down, and I lift my hips as he slides them down.
"Wanna taste you." Chris mumbles, kissing from my lower thigh to almost exactly where I needed him the most. I had never been this turned on in my life, so everything seemed to be coming easier to me. "Please." I beg him, watching as a satisfied smirk settles on his lips.
He leans forward and places a kiss to my clit over my panties, my hips wanting to surge forwards at the pressure, but I refrain. Chris bends my knees for me, and my heart is kicked into overdrive as I realize this is really happening.
He pulls my panties to the side, his eyes leaving mine as he takes the sight of me completely bare in. I open my mouth to whine but my words are cut off with a moan as Chris leaned forward and let his tongue begin to explore me.
"So fucking wet for me," Chris groaned, trailing his tongue down to my entrance before retreating, "Tastes so good." His tongue finds my clit, making my back arch off the bed and my hips twitch. Chris quickly rests one of his arms across my waist, anchoring me in place.
My hand finds his hair as his tongue starts twirling around my clit, sending wave after wave of pleasure throughout my body. It was almost too much. I gasp as I feel his fingers sliding up the skin of my thigh.
"Gonna get you ready for me, that okay baby?" He asks, pulling away from me. His chin glistens, wet from myself and I wish I could take a picture. Maybe next time.
"Please Chris." I reply, desperate for some sort of relief. His tongue returns to my clit as his pointer finger lightly swipes through my folds, collecting my wetness. He circles my entrance, before he slowly starts to push in. It's a weird feeling, but it feels so good.
"Chris." I gasp out, his finger slowly thrusting into me, as he applies more pressure to my clit to ease any discomfort I could be feeling, "Feels so fucking good." I choke out between my moans, and I can feel the coil in my stomach begin to form.
Chris hums against my clit, making my hips buck into his touch. I feel a second finger start to push in, and the burn of the stretch hurts so good. My eyes shoot down to Chris, who is already looking up at me. The coil in my stomach grows even stronger, making me whine out.
"Chris I t-think I-I'm close." I stutter out, both of his fingers pumping into me at a decent pace. I throw my head back as I moan, as Chris had started to hum against my clit, the shockwaves of pleasure overwhelming me.
My eyes fill with tears, and the coil in my stomach finally snaps. I gasp and moan as I release on Chris' fingers, my hips twisting and turning as I ride out my orgasm. Chris finally pulls away, removing his tongue from my clit and he brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean.
"I could eat you out for hours." He rasps, shuffling upwards and taking in my tear strained face, "You look so pretty when you're fucked out." He groans, slamming his lips onto mine.
Our tongues meet in a frenzy and i can taste myself as his tongue traces mine. I left my hands fall to his sweatpants, sliding my hand underneath the thin fabric. I feel the hard outline of his cock through his boxers, and when I begin to trace it, Chris' hips stutter against my touch.
"Fuck, baby." Chris pants, quickly kicking off his sweatpants before he's letting me explore him again. I can feel him throbbing in my hand, and I can't help but wish he was doing that in my mouth.
I slip my hand inside of his boxers, feeling the smooth skin of his cock for the first time. Chris lets out a whimper as my fingers gently brushes against his slit, feeling the bead of precum.
"You're gonna make me cum if you keep that up." Chris groans from above me.
I look up at him with wide eyes, "What?"
Chris smiles down at me, "You don't even realize how much power you have over me." He whispers, leaning forward to kiss me again. He removes my hand and starts to peel off his boxers without breaking the kiss. My hands go to his shoulders, trailing over his collar bones as he backs away from me.
"This is gonna hurt." Chris tells me, while grabbing a condom. He goes to put it on but I stop him, "Show me how?" I ask shyly, to which he nods. I sit up slightly as he hands me the condom.
"Rip it open." He instructs, and I follow suit, "You gotta pinch it a little, then place it on my tip and roll it down." I grin excitedly once it's on, my smile fading as I look to Chris and find him biting his lip with his eyes close.
"Chris?" I whisper, lifting a hand to his face. His eyes flutter open and meet mine.
He rests one hand next to my head, the other taking hold of his cock. He rubs his tip through my folds, teasing me as he bumps against my clit. I suck in a deep breath, trying to control my hips from wanting to squirm away from his touch.
"You ready baby?" He asks, peering down at me. His silver chain with the planet dangles between us, and he's never looked hotter.
I nod, "I'm ready for you, Chris." I softly reply, gripping his arms as he begins to push inside of me. My jaw drops open at the new feeling, the burning sensation from the stretch making my eyes water.
"I got you baby." He soothes me, bringing his hand from my waist to cub my clit, attempting to distract my body from the pain. I choke out a moan as he's fully inside of me, stilling his hips to give me time to adjust.
"Baby?" He asks, brining me out of the trance I had fallen into. I meet his worried eyes, "Please move." I whisper, shifting my hips. He places his lips on mine as he begins to slowly thrust, the tears now falling as the burning sensation intensifies.
I meet Chris' eyes, and the pain falls away. Pleasure replaces it instantly, as I take in the sight before me. His eyes are boring into mine, his cheeks flushed. His mouth is open in a silent moan, his necklace swinging with the rhythm of hips hips jutting into mine.
"Feels so good." I moan out, my hands moving to dig into his back. Chris groans from above me, his hips moving faster.
"Yeah?" He pants, letting out a groan, "You like the way I fuck you baby?" He rasps, moaning loudly as I clench around him. "My dirty girl likes dirty talk, huh?" He asks, smirking down at me.
"So much." I gasp, tugging him down to kiss him. Time seemed to stand still as I savored this moment, feeling the warmth of Chris' skin hovering above mine. Chris' hands traveled my body, tender caresses warming my heart.
The coil in my stomach rapidly builds, as Chris' hips get more erratic, leading me to believe he's getting close too. I clench down on him at the realization, and Chris moans into my mouth.
"I'm so close." I whimpered as soon as Chris pulled away from the kiss, my eyes fighting to close.
Chris lets out a grunt at my confession, "Me too baby. Wanna come together." He pants, shifting my knees back more, changing the angle. The tip of his cock hits deeper now, making me let out a rather loud moan as he hits a special spot within me.
"There it is." Chris comments, keeping his hips positioned the same way and speeds up his thrusts.
"Chris!" I gasp loudly, my back arching. I did my nails into his back as I begin to teeter on the edge of my orgasm.
"Y/N, come with me." He demands, and the coil inside me finally snaps. I moan out Chris' name as the waves of pleasure come to a crest.
"Fuck! You're squeezing the life out of me sweetheart." Chris groans, and I can feel his release enter the condom, and his thrust slow down before stopping once we rode out our orgasms. Chris disposes the condom quickly, laying down next to me.
"Hi." I whisper, turning to face him. He let a smile grace his lips before he leans forward and places a short and sweet kiss on my lips.
"How was it?" He asks, gently rubbing my arm.
I smile at him, "Good. Really good." I reply, making him laugh.
"Thank god." He laughs, before turning slightly serious, "I can't wait till you're crying on my cock, purely from the fact it feels so good."
I gasp, "Chris!"
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bonny-kookoo · 8 months
Note
Does cherry jk and Mc go further than just analyzing her tattoo? 🥴
A/N: Obv warning for NSFW. set right after the last drabble, it's basically a continuation of it.
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He's torturing you. This is legitimate torture, and you're not sure if you'll survive this- and if you do, you'll probably die later because if he's already getting you to a point like this from simple touch alone, what else is he capable of?
Maybe it's the fact that you got a major crush on him that's making you more sensitive to things like this. Or maybe you've just never been treated like this.
He seems truly enamored by your body, most of all your tits that he's currently occupying himself with, lips and tongue combining with his hands, never staying in one place too long. You never really thought about a situation like this- typically, in the past, your chest had been nothing but aesthetics to past partners, something to maybe grab on during the act, but never really anything of importance.
Never something to focus on. Sex isn't about that- or at least it wasn't, back then, and it makes you wonder. What exactly does Jungkook get out of this himself?
But you fail to really concentrate on that topic, as he suddenly puts his teeth into the mix, gently biting one of your by now horribly sensitive buds to pull and let go, chuckling when your back arches off the couch. He's licking, kissing, now even biting- and you're by now convinced that you are one of those who can indeed cum from just this.
Maybe? Or maybe not? You're unsure, and you're also getting impatient. Your underwear must be soaking by now, thighs rubbing together unashamed. He's already sucking on your tits- there's really nothing to be embarrassed about.
"Wanna eat you out." He breathes over your chest, hands still fondling your soft flesh, and you whine.
"Please..!" You ask, because at this point, you can't take it anymore.
"Do you have a hairtie or something?" Jungkook wonders up at you at this invitation of yours, leaning up again to collect his hair with his hands.
"Uhm.. here?" You wonder, offering your wrist where a simple black elastic is resting around, one he takes with a grin, tying his hair back. You're not sure why exactly, his fingers brushing all of his hair back to collect as much of it as possible, getting most of it out of his face.
"Thanks." He grins, before he moves back to push down your shorts to let them fall down this time, hands moving over your thighs. "Hm.. what if we put some ink on those too?" He purrs, palms moving in between them before he changes his mind, leaving your fluffy overknees on after struggling a bit with the straps holding them up, which are connected to a lace garter belt. "Really pretty by the way. You like lingery?" He wonders casually, finally figuring out how to unhook the straps from your socks to be able to remove your panties, and you nod.
""I.. like to feel pretty.." You admit a bit quietly, and he smiles brightly at that, pulling down your underwear- and for a second you're confused why he stuffs your panties in the pocket of his sweatpants, but you don't get to question it for long, as he pulls your legs over his shoulders, body leaning down to dive in.
You don't care how he seems to know so well how to use his tongue and mouth- all that you do care about is that you're way too worked up to last very long.
Especially when his fingers join in and push inside you, you can't help but curl your toes as you summon all of your strength as to not push your legs closed. What you don't have any control over is the way your hips move- but it doesn't seem to bother him much, as he starts to suck, one drawn out lick with the flatness of his tongue enough to suddenly make you come undone.
His face leaves your core, but the heel of his hand gently helps you ride out your high, fingers leaving you after, the way you clenched around the digits giving him ideas for future endeavors-
and also enough material to make up scenarios in his head for days.
You can see him adjust himself in his pants a little, tent fairly evident- and you're not sure what you think of it. He's not asking for it- but isn't it something you should do?
Maybe the main reason you want to is both curiosity, and the fact that he doesn't immediately demand anything in return. He's nice.
You like him.
And you also want to see him- all of him.
"Hm?" He asks, wiping his mouth with his hand, before you sit up, cringing a bit at the wetness between your thighs. You slowly look down at him, gaze focusing on his obvious boner, and he chuckles. "Wanna see? We don't have to do anything, I can just rub one out later in the shower, no worries." He casually says, but you shake your head.
"I want to do something." You say. "But.. I might not be good at it?" You worry, and he laughs.
"Practice makes perfect." He shrugs. "If you wanna, you can." Jungkook offers, moving down his pants before he pulls himself out of his underwear.
Everything he does is always so.. normal. As if this is nothing special at all- but in a good way. There's no pressure to make things as perfect as possible. It's comfortable.
When you touch him, he hisses a bit, even his dick twitching a bit, as if startled. "Sorry- your hands are cold." He laughs, and you giggle along.
"Sorry." You apologize as well, moving around to see what makes him feel good. It's not like you've never given a handjob in your life- but this time you actually don't feel like you have to, and it's making you wonder how you can offer him the same as you've received.
But your next move surprises even yourself, because this, you haven't done before.
You lean down to take his tip into your mouth, causing a faint 'oh god' to breathe past his lips above you, hand finding your head as you circle your tongue over the head, feeling the rest of him twitch on occasion. You fail to really take him and deeper, so you instead let go of his cock to spit in your hand, unsure how else really to make movement any more comfortable for the both of you.
He groans at that. It sounds almost pained.
Hopefully your hands are now warm enough as you move, lick and suck, trying to judge from the way his balls seem to tighten in your palm how close he might be-
When his hand pushes a little, fingers digging into your hair to grab tightly, head and upper body leaning back on his unoccupied hand keeping him somewhat upright as he cums, thick seed filling your mouth in several spurts.
He breathes loudly, before he lets go of your head, surprised face clearly showing a hint of worry as he inspects you, thinking he might've hurt you as you cringe a bit. His hands hold your cheeks, eyes darting around to judge if he's been a bit too rough with that push, when you look at him.
"It's bitter." You complain, and he laughs in relief, resting his forehead against yours, grinning so hard his cheeks hurt.
"God you're cute!"
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exilethegame · 26 days
Note
k but what would your characters do if Commander gave them a box to look after but they were told whatever they do, do NOT look inside?
hmmm now I'm curious what MC is putting in there
Vethna: I think this depends on MC's personality. If MC is genuine, they'd really want to look, and they'd probably just pout a lot, but they wouldn't. If MC was stoic or aggressive, Vethna would take it a lot more seriously and just not look at all-- they'd probably assume it's something bad or dangerous. And if MC is sarcastic, they'll immediately open it the second MC even kinda turns away, fully expecting it to just be empty or something stupid.
Nikke: Would depend on MC's body language! If MC read as being super serious, he probably wouldn't open it and would smack other people's hands away who try to. Definitely spends the entire time wondering what the actual fuck is inside the box. If MC is just screwing with him, and he'll know if they are (trust me), then he'll be like "Oh, yeah for sure, mhm, whatever you say Captain," super sarcastically and then just immediately rip the top off.
Jost: "Okay." (Proceeds to do exactly as asked and hold it until MC comes back for it. If MC never does... oh well.)
Amilia: Asks a billion questions as to why she cannot open the box. Is there something hidden in there? Is it dangerous? Is it a gift? For her or someone else? Is it something embarrassing? Does peeking through a gap in the lid but otherwise keeping the lid on count as opening...?If she's super close with MC, she won't open it, but she'll be oh, so very restless about it. Otherwise... yeah, she's peeking. Sorry. Choose someone more responsible!
Sabir: "Okay... why...?" Would not look in it, even if he thinks it's a prank. Would be very suspicious about the box regardless. Proceeds to try and subtly ask MC in a million different ways what is in the box and will not stop prodding until MC tells him. I mean this could literally last for years. MC forgets about it and then they'll be hanging out years later, MC confiding in him, and Sabir will just... "you know what ELSE was a secretive, sensitive topic...?"
Syfyn: Raises a brow, stares at the box, then takes it and does as asked. I don't think she'd care what's in the box, or if there even is anything in the box. Like even if MC was just pranking her and it was empty, she'd still carry it around. She'd probably know it was empty too and just be like "man I wonder why this empty box is so important to MC. I better keep it safe for them."
Freedom: Why would you even do that. Why. You could literally hand them Pandora's box, make it clear it's Pandora's box, and Freedom would be like "oh that's sick" and then pop the top right off.
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