For @ceilidho who expressed mild interest in possessed Simon from my upcoming projects post - here are some of the concepts I’m thinking of:
-reader is a childhood friend, but they only got married after his family died (hence why she’s still alive)
-it’s not a Bad marriage, but… it’s not an ideal one. Simon’s really just not very present but he tries… kinda…
-the new house is supposed to be a fresh start
-Simon is about as sensitive to supernatural things as a stack of bricks, but reader just feels so… hypnotized?
-move in is full of odd coincidences. Dropped boxes, fallen plates, things rolling into odd corners so that reader has to bend and contort herself to get them
-Simon starts having strange nightmares, not the usual ones
-meanwhile reader is having the Wettest dreams she’s had in her life
-Simon starts acting Odd. Well, odder than usual. Reader can tell of course, as a doting wife, but he’s as closed off as ever.
-but he does start being more active. Cooking dinner, snatching her up for kisses, dragging her down for snuggles. Makes her talk and talk and talk, staring at her Very Intensely
-the physical changes start happening very gradually. But he’s getting bigger, and stronger, his voice lowering and roughening. So so slowly she doesn’t notice it’s happening for a very long time
-until one day she realizes that…. her husband is practically a whole new person….
1K notes
·
View notes
#mARTch 2024
text version (with more info!) under the readmore! please check it out if you're confused about anything <3
F.A.Q
do i have to draw every day?
no!!!! there are skippable days built into the event, please use them whenever you need them! i really don't want anyone getting a wrist injury!
can you share my art?
yep! i try to share entries to @bweirdevents daily during the event!! the tags can get busy tho so i might miss some posts OTL sorry
what are the tags?
#mARTch is the main tag, but this year you might find posts in #mARTch2024 too!
wait, i'm confused about a prompt...
full breakdown of all the prompts below ↓ with helpful hints if you're stuck!
_____
INTRO WEEK
this week is all about your artistic identity ... technically, you don't have to draw anything new this week if you have some art that already fits. the starter days are:
1 ⭐ self portrait
who are you? it doesn't have to be you IRL .. if you feel more comfortable drawing a fursona or mascot, that's fine too!
if you don't wanna draw, you can also just share old self portraits today and talk about why you drew yourself that way!
2 🤍 inspirations
see how this day doesn't have a star? that means it's optional and you don't have to do it at all!
but if you really wanna- tell us all about what inspires you to create art!
this could be anything from the people that inspire you, the shows you like, the pins on your big messy pinterest board, or concepts that you're drawn to! you can draw something about it, talk about it, or just post your inspirations! anything is fine
3 ⭐ fav thing to draw
what do you like drawing most? backgrounds? animals? one specific animal? bust of your oc facing left? cars? the same anime boy over and over and over? no judgement!! show us :)
_____
STUDY WEEK
this is the week we actually start drawing from reference!
polished art is not required at all, quick sketch studies are fine! please don't burn yourself out
4 🤍 plant
5 🤍 body
6 ⭐ animal
7 🤍 object
8 🤍 food
9 🤍 face
10 ⭐ hand
these ones are pretty self explanatory!
you can do them as realistic studies, or adapt them into your own art style, it's all fine! you can reference from your own photos or from resources on the web.. have fun!
_____
COLOUR WEEK
this is the week for playing with palettes and working on your colour theory skills!
if you're really struggling with these ones, don't worry about drawing scenes or characters, you can just have fun splashing colours around on an abstract canvas!
11 🤍 RGB
a set or primary colours typically used in digital/screen art - red, green and blue!
12 🤍 CMYK
a set of primary colours typically used in traditional/print art - cyan, magenta, yellow ... and key (black!)
for both of these days ↑ you can add in black and white.
and feel free to combine the two days into one, if you're struggling with a three-colour palette! use all six!
13 ⭐ WARM COLOURS
the warm side of the colour wheel, reds oranges and yellows!
14 🤍 MONOCHROME
monochrome doesn't mean black and white ... it means one colour! that can be any colour at all- shades of red, shades of purple, shades of green .. or yeah, grey if you really want!
15 🤍 COMPLIMENTARY
complimentary colours are the ones opposite each other on the colour wheel! they're kinda married
16 🤍 YOUR FAV COLOURS
pick any palette that works for you! where's your comfort zone? what looks nice to you? what colour combos do you always go back to?
17 ⭐ COOL COLOURS
the cool side of the colour wheel, purples, blues and greens!
_____
CREATIVITY WEEK
this week is all about vibes! try to create something that matches the mood of the prompt .. they're vague on purpose! don't overthink it, just draw from the heart!
18 🤍 SMALL
you could draw something that's really small, like an ant .. or draw on a canvas that's really small .. or use a really small brush .. get creative with it!
19 🤍 DANGER
try to capture the adrenaline .. the rush .. the fear that you associate with the word danger!
20 ⭐ SOFT
soft colours, soft textures, soft vibes ... whatever makes you comfy!
21 🤍 MIDNIGHT
darkness and secrecy .. spooky witchy vibes .. the tranquility of a forest at night .. the fun of a late-night party .. there's lots of ways you can take this!
22 🤍 POWER
what does this word make you think about? superpowers? control and oppression? literal electrical power? something else?
23 🤍 CHILL
chill as in calm? or chill as in cold? who knows .. it's up to YOU!
24 ⭐ LOUD
try to draw something that feels LOUD! BRASH! IN YOUR FACE! how can you convey sound through art?
_____
FUN + GAMES WEEK
this week is just for enjoying yourself! take it easy and have fun!
also .. another reminder! there are skippable prompts! if you're tired and struggling to get to the finish line, please don't hesitate to skip a day!!! or multiple days!! as many as you need!!!
25 🤍 TRY A NEW ART STYLE
copy the art style of a show you like, ask a friend if you can try their style, draw the eyes a new way, develop a totally new style on the spot... whatever you want!
26 🤍 DRAW WITH YOUR NON-DOMINANT HAND
righties, draw with your left!
lefties, draw with your right!
ambidextrous nation ... our time to show off!
27 ⭐ DRAW WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED
don't peek! try to draw something without looking!
if you really want, you can colour it with your eyes open after you draw the lines/sketch with your eyes closed... but please try not to cheat with the actual drawing part!
28 🤍 RE-DRAW SOMETHING OLD
find some old artwork you like, or something you feel like you can do better on now, and give it another go!
29 🤍 RE-DRAW A MEME
find a silly picture on the internet to redraw .. do you have any in-jokes with your besties?
30 🤍 DRAW A GIFT FOR A FRIEND
create something for someone you love <3
31 ⭐ FREE CHOICE
final day! you can draw anything you want today! show off your skills! draw something you've been meaning to draw! whatever!
_____
please refrain from reblogging this post after march ends - next year's prompts will be different, thank you!
if you have any additional questions, don't hesitate to shoot me an ask!
888 notes
·
View notes
I was just thinking how when you tell Minthara you love her, she responds with "I know". I used to think that she just has an unshakable confidence that you love her and she doesn't really need you to tell her cause, well, she knows. But, why does she never say it back?
She will show you she loves you by doing things for you like one shotting your enemies and soloing all the bosses for you. She also will very quickly give you affection when you ask (and she's hella aggressive about it). She will support you in every decision you make (even if she thinks you're making a stupid ass decision). But, why won't she just tell you she loves you?
Cause if she says it out loud, you become a target. That's how it is for Menzoberranzan drow, especially nobles. A drow who admits they love another will quickly find their lover killed as a means to hurt them. That's why they have to use roundabout ways to admitting love to each other without actually saying it. Plus, the word "love" just doesn't really exist in Menzoberranzan and most drow who live there don't know the concept. She refuses to say she loves you cause she's afraid that someone will kill you just to hurt her. And a lot of people (and gods) want to hurt her.
The only time in the game that I can think of where you tell her you love her is the reunion party. A party full of people she feels do not like or trust her. A party that she feels is an excellent opportunity for a poisoning. Minthara is definitely a product of her environment. Now, I don't think she actually thinks your friends would hurt you. But, she kinda just kicks into Noble Party Mode. And Noble Party Mode says: don't eat the foot, don't trust the guests, and don't tell your lover you love them because someone will hear you and do something about it. It's not a surprise that she's very anxious the entire time and wants to leave. (Another example is mentioned in a previous post of mine here where in a Karlach origin, a non romanced Minthara will use very roundabout language to admit she's in love with Karlach but never uses the word love. You can see that here)
And then there's 'alurlssrin', which basically means an unshaken, deep, passionate love. This is a word that belongs to Eilistraee and should be foreign to her, a word that she would be punished socially (or killed) for even knowing if she was still in Menzoberranzan. That is what she feels for you. She also says that she hopes the bond you share with her will last as long as you two live.
She says this before facing Orin, someone she deeply fears. She is going down into the temple terrified that she will never leave. She literally pulls you aside to tell you she loves you in the best way that she can, cause she's afraid that Orin will kill her and she'll never be able to tell you otherwise.
To sum it up, Minthara does love you. She loves you a lot. She loves you deeper and harder than any of the other companions will and with a burning passion. She wants to go where you go, do what you do, see what you see. It never crosses her mind that she'll be doing something in which you're not right fucking there with her. She won't say she loves you, she will never say she loves you, and it's because she does love you. When she follows up with "I know", she's not being arrogant or downplaying what you feel. She's trying to keep you safe.
622 notes
·
View notes
BBR thoughts 2024
Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies
This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not
So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters
I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash
I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted
Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it
At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do
Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction
So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older
I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet
When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"
But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work
If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now
I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:
Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)
I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat
I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least
I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example
I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep
I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor
I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence
The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers
Some new Dolly outfits
Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days
Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo
I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused
One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book
An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well
So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)
495 notes
·
View notes
Now I'm wondering how countries like Japan and China teach literacy.
Since kanji / hanzi don't really have that much in the way of phonetic elements, they kinda have to teach them by memorization and I don't think they have many reading comprehension problems over there.
(Although both countries do have supplementary phonetic writing systems in the form of bopomofo and pinyin for China, and the kanas for Japan)
--
FAVORITE SOAPBOX TOPIC UNLOCKED!
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
It's a little closer to teaching vocabulary than spelling, but the same kinds of principles apply: You teach the building blocks, like the traditional radicals, which aren't so different from teaching Latin and Greek roots in an English class for English speakers.
And, as a matter of fact, lots of those radicals do predict pronunciation, just not in every single case. They can also be clues to meaning, but again, not absolutely consistently. Many characters have a sound-cueing radical on one side and a meaning-cueing radical on the other. It's just that only some are still useful in the modern day, while others are more like the English word 'plumbing' where knowledge of Roman lead pipes explains why this word comes from the one for lead, but the root probably wouldn't help a kid learn the word in the first place.
One similarity to teaching phonics would be teaching students to tell very complicated and similar characters apart: you want to help a student spot all the little building blocks of the character and then spot the ones that are different, not just glance at the whole character and get a general overall vibe. If you do a whole look-based approach, too many characters are too easy to mistake for one another.
Remembering a bajillion Chinese characters is hard if you're trying to memorize them in a year and not all of elementary school, but I think people who don't read them underestimate how many component parts there are and how approachable they can be if you start by learning fundamentals, not just memorizing a few individual characters as though they have no relation to anything else.
They're actually pretty systematic, just in the way that English spelling is with its overlapping systems and historical artifacts, not in the way that highly regular Spanish spelling is.
Having taken a lot of Japanese classes, I will say that Japanese as a foreign language textbooks often do a piss poor job of this and totally do teach kanji in a sight words-y way... But my Mandarin class started with important foundational concepts that served me well in Japanese later even if I bombed out of Chinese class at the time.
Can you tell how irritated I am by all the foreign language learners who think characters are sooooo hard when, really, it's just their crappy textbook? Haha.
They're moderately hard in the way that learning a full adult spectrum of vocabulary is hard, but people do that for foreign languages all the time. The countries that use characters do tend to make sets that are smaller for certain kinds of applications, same as we have things like simple English wikipedia, but a literate adult will always know lots more, whether it's from their career in engineering or their predilection for historical romance novels.
Uh... anyway, the answer is "Bit by bit in elementary school, just like in any other country".
653 notes
·
View notes
Silent
Pairing: Matt x reader
Wordcount: 1.8k +
Summary: you’ve always quietly watched the triplets, silently wishing you could be a part of a group like them. Until you and Matt talk for the first time…
Warnings: selective mutism, anxiety, crying, angst, praise, no use of y/n, no oc
(Disclaimer: I’m not mute in any way. This was a request from an anon that I accidentally deleted. Hope you like it ! Requests are open)
I developed selective mutism pretty early on. My mom says that I didn’t talk even back in kindergarten.
But it’s been years now.
I can talk, and I can’t shut the fuck up for the life of me. I talk a lot, even have full conversations with myself.
Just not at school, or around new people. God, especially not in school.
It’s not like I want to be the ‘ weird’ mute kid. I would love to talk and make friends, I just physically can’t open my mouth and talk.
It even took months for me to utter simple words to my therapist, tho by this point I’ve known her for years and I’m pretty comfortable.
There are these triplets in my grade. We’ve always gone to the same school, but I don’t think they ever noticed me.
Well the first time I noticed them was in first grade, because there were three of them. Of corse my six year old self didn’t understand the concept of multiples back then, and I really wanted to ask, and talk to them. I really thought they were cool.
The first time I interacted with any of them tho was when I was in fourth grade and Nick had asked to use my dark green pencil since he only had light green and needed both dark and light.
Back in fourth grade I wasn’t just selectively mute, but also really shy. So I’d just looked down and stared at the desk giving him a small nod.
In freshmen year I shared a class with Nick again, he asked me for a pen, wich I gave to him.
Despite not having talked to him once in my entire life, he remembered my name. Wich isn’t too shocking since we’ve always been around each other, I was just kinda in the shadows.
He actually gave me that pen back. Most other people would’ve forgotten and just taken it, but Nick didn’t and I appreciated that.
I only ever interacted with Nick those two times. despite sharing a few classes with both Chris and Matt over the years, I’ve probably never even held eye contact with either of them.
I’ve been watching everyone.
Bullying isn’t really a thing. Sure there were some hurtful comments by jocks here and there but it really wasn’t as bad as in the movies.
Besides I think most people forget i even exist so they don’t even bother bullying me.
I’ve had my eye on Matt for a while. Not in a weird way. But Matt seems to pretty obviously have anxiety too. I don’t know if he’s open about it, I’m not in his friend circle.
But every time I’m feeling overwhelmed and we’re in the same room, I unconsciously glance at him to see if he feels the same or if I’m just going crazy.
Chris seems to be the loudest and most extroverted one. And while yes, Nick seems pretty extroverted too, Chris seems more… random? Bold?
I sulk in the back of the class my lips pulled into a tight line as I try to get myself together.
There is literally no reason for me to be feeling like this. Honestly no one has tried to talk to me today, nothing happened, I just feel so overwhelmed.
I raise my hand just slightly. I make eye contact with the teacher. Mrs. Evans. I literally love her, she’s so kind.
Her son is apparently mute too.
When I was diagnosed with selective mutism they thought it’d be a great idea to make me learn sign language just in case, and that’s just what I did.
Since Mrs. Evans son is mute, her son, as well as her and her husband also learned sign language.
So whenever I needed something I could sign to her. Not that I wouldn’t be too embarrassed too.
Our eyes lock. Everyone was working on some paper I should also be doing, but I’m too busy hyperventilating.
I let my hand drop on my desk and glance at the door quietly asking if I can go to the nurses office since I was too tired and ashamed to sign it to her.
She gives me a pitying smile but nods. I hate pity, but then again that’s better than getting told im faking.
I look around the class of students. I get up, as quiet as I can. I pack up my little stuff and quietly walk to the front of the class. I nod in appreciation and walk outside.
I stare at the ground while I walk down the hallway. I sigh.
I feel my eyes start to water and I bite the inside of my cheek.
Honestly I should probably go to the nurses office to get checked out, just so I can leave. But I don’t think I can handle communicating with another human.
I feel like I’m about to break down. I continue to walk down the hallway clutching the straps of my bag harshly.
I consider if driving home even is a good idea seeing as I’m about to have a mental breakdown. Or-
Suddenly I bump into someone.
I close my eyes trying not to cry right then. I don’t know who I bumped into but I want to apologize, but I know that I can’t, and since I don’t know who I bumped into I don’t know if it’s someone who’ll be mean about it or-
I’m taken off guard by a gentle brush to my upper arm.
“You’re good, it’s okay” I hear a soft voice say. I can feel my lip quivering, I feel like if I open my eyes the tears brimming at my waterline will actually fall.
“can you open your eyes?” It sounds more like a question, and that voice sounds painfully familiar but I can’t quite place it.
I want to tell him that I can’t, that I’ll cry if I do and I’ll feel even more embarrassed. But my curiosity takes over me.
So I slightly blink open my eyes. I don’t open my eyes fully, just enough to see the person through my tears.
It’s Matt, looking down at me all concerned.
I blink my eyes open. at the sight I watch his expression relax just slightly.
He himself looks overwhelmed, and honestly I don’t know if it’s because of how I’m acting, or if he had a shitty day himself.
“You okay?” He sighs slightly. I watch as he licks his lips and swallows thickly.
I take in another deep breath trying to calm down. I nod just slightly, but while I do the tears in my eyes finally spill.
I feel my hot tears run down my face. Matt’s eyes immediately widen and his mouth opens slightly like he thinks it’s his fault.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no please don’t cry.” He holds up his hands in front of my face as if he wanted to wipe my tears away but was holding himself back because he didn’t know my boundaries.
He looked miserable, like he was about to cry himself. And I just know that something this wouldn’t have him emotional like this on a normal day. At least I don’t think it would. But he seemed to be overwhelmed as well.
I scrunch my nose slightly sniffling in response. I glance back up at him and the sorrow in his eyes makes me want to sink into myself. I breathe out shakily.
Before I know it I’m bringing my hands up to my face and covering it. I tilt my head forward trying to stop crying, because crying in the school halls is just pathetic.
“I’m sorry. Fuck- can I touch you?” I hear his frantic voice. I appreciate that he asked first. I want a hug, but then again I don’t know Matt. But he just seems so genuine.
I overthink not responding to his question. My thoughts spiral at the sound of the sweet nothings and apologies leaving his mouth, only being back round noise.
Matt seems to notice that I’m starting to spiral. I feel his hand tenderly touch my wrist. I flinch slightly, and as soon as I do I feel him retract his hand.
Everybody deals with anxiety differently, some people like to be physically grounded others liked to be comforted some other way and I just knew that Matt was trying to figure out what to do without overstepping.
I’d tell him that it’s okay, or that he can hug me, but I literally can’t speak and I feel too embarrassed to let him see my teary face.
“I’m sorry, I’m-“ I hear Matt let out a breath. I know an anxiety breath when I hear one, he is panicking.
I decide to bite the bullet, what’s the worst that can happen. I look up slightly and peak through my fingers.
His hands are up and frozen. He looks almost frantic, Matt looks like the only way he knows how to ground me is by hugging me or something, but he seems unsure if that’s okay.
Despite myself I let out a little nod. Matt lets out another breath but this time he actually touches me, and I don’t flinch.
He holds my wrist and gently pulls my hands off of my face.
I let out a shaky sigh. I can’t help it when I let my head fall forward.
“It’s okay.” He says sweetly under his breath. He puts his hand under my chin as he picks my face up. Our eyes lock. I see the way Matt is also crying, tears running down his face too and I relax just a little.
He never seemed like the type to make fun of someone for crying, but especially not now.
“You wanna go to my car?” He says softly, not in a way where he is forcing me to do anything, but rather offering.
And honestly as upset as i am I have to weigh my options. Would I rather cry in the school hallways or in Matt’s car?
The best option would be to go to the bathroom, but Matt wouldn’t be able to come with, and honestly I would feel too bad leaving him alone at this point.
So I nod.
I feel Matt’s arm go around my shoulders as he hugs me for a moment. He turns me, and starts walking in a way where his arm is still around my shoulder keeping me close to him.
We walk out to the parking lot. I watch as Matt unlocks the car and opens the door for me to enter.
And by this point, if I go out this way so be it…
Before i can even register Matt is also getting into the backseat next to me.
We just look at each other for a moment. He breathes out another anxiety sigh.
“You want a hug?” And with that I don’t really know if he’s asking for me, or to comfort himself. But regardless I nod.
I feel his arms come around me and I sink into the feeling of his hug.
I’m uncertain if by tomorrow he’ll act like this all never happened, or if he’ll try to get to know me, because I’ve been wanting to know him for a while and I would more then gladly let him.
Masterlist
A/n: I know this is really short and I’ve been uploading a lot of angst recently. But I’ve been feeling sad, and every time I do write smut it’s for Kinktober. Soon you’ll get smut tho. Also this ended up a lot like crybaby. <3
‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️
Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life
517 notes
·
View notes