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mariesocuniverse · 3 years

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Relationships: NCT 127

Maeil (aka Daily)

there are two meanings to their ship name

first is, of course, their names mashed together but the second meanings is much cuter and the one fans use to explain their dynamic

When Mae found out their ship name was Maeil her first reaction was “Oh? Is it because I make sure to let Taeil hyung I love him daily?” while cuddling Taeil on a couch

he’s the same age as Mae’s older brother so she treats him as such

her brother is literally like “Are you replacing me with Taeil? I’m your reall brother!” and she’s just there sweating

part of Taeil’s hype squad and will fight donghyuck for the position of president

like the two were on vlive and spent a good fifteen minutes arguing about their positions in the club Mae won but donghyuck refuses to acknowledge it

he could be doing something simple and you can see Mae in the background with a big smile cheering

he’s also like her personal teddy bear whenever she wants cuddles and/or wants to rest

there are just multiple gifs floating around nct twt of Mae tackling Taeil for a hug or her just clinging to him on a couch because she’s either tired and wants to rest or just wants cuddles

absolutely adores his voice

there are multiple compilations on youtube about all the times Mae compliments Taeil on his voice and him just blushing the whole time

Maenny

was lowkey intimidated bc the man is a fucking tree and basically towers over her

but then he saw him play around with some other trainees and that thought disappeared real quick

he’s more like the protective older brother than like a parent like Doyoung or Taeyong

can and has used his height to his advantage when it comes to scaring people who hurt Mae or do something to make her sad

he was one of the first people who found out about her old company and he looked like he was about to storm their building probably would’ve if it weren’t for Mae

one of the first people she became friends with because he always answered questions she had when she was a trainees

before debut there were times people could see Johnny walk somewhere and Mae is just trailing after him like a lost puppy more like running because the man’s legs are long and he walks faster

there was this one time someone asked where Mae was and Johnny just shuffled to the side to reveal her behind him

his large frame was just big enough to hide her from everyone’s vision unless you walk past the two

you know that one vid of predebut nct performing Under The Sea with Johnny wearing the fish head? Mae was supposed to join him dressed as Ariel but the idea was cut last minute

there was this one time Mae couldn’t see something bc she was too short so Johnny lifted her up and put her on his shoulders

okay enough about Mae’s height

during shows he’s always encouraging Mae to talk more when she seems unsure whether to give her input or not

johnny, after an interviewer asks a question: “what do you think Mae?”

absolutely melts whenever she does aegyo because no matter how old she is he’ll always see her as the cute kid who followed him everywhere

MaeTae

honestly it’s hard to pinpoint where Taeyong’s protective parental energy started getting directed to Mae

like it might’ve been somewhere predebut but she doesnt know when

she’s like 50% sure she just blanked out and suddenly Taeyong appeared in her life scolding her for not taking care of herself

it’s not like she’s complaining abt it she’s really grateful to have someone like him in her life

when her family got worried abt her joining a group filled with guys he personally went to her house and calmly explained how Mae will be taken care of and how the group will make sure that she’ll be safe

first person to know if there’s something between SM and Mae that the other members don’t know about

he was also the first member to know about what happened with Mae and her old company

she knows she can trust him with anything

he found her alone crying in one of the practice rooms and she just poured her heart out to him

Whenever they go places as a large group he looks for Mae first before counting the other members

she got lost once and now he doesnt want her out of his sight for more than five minutes

she got him a “world’s greatest dad” trophy as a joke that he has on a shelf in his room

YuMae

you know how yuta acts with mark and winwin? yeah he does the same for Mae

if he isnt giving a hug to mark he’s all the way across the room with Mae giving her a back hug

Mae: does nothing

Yuta: aigoo look how cute she is :)

she doesnt ignore him tho she just returns the affection

likes to jump on his back for a piggy back ride or just run and jump to give him a hug

there was this one clip that went viral of Yuta talking to someone and he just pauses for a moment before turning around to catch Mae, who seemingly came out of nowhere, into a hug and turned back to his conversation

neither yuta nor the other person seemed fazed so this seemed like a regular occurrence to them

he teaches her japanese!

its beneficial to both of them because Mae can learn and Yuta won’t forget any Japanese while living in Korea :D

really really really loves his smile

like real whipped (A/N i wrote this while watching the under the sea performance and now im going through it)

like she sees him smile and that makes her smile and that makes fans smile

Can and has glared at “fans” and other people who make her uncomfortable whether it be at the airport or during their schedules

There was this one time Mae was walking ahead of him when there were fansites following them and he just pulled her back into his arms because he noticed an anti of hers was nearby

It’s like a lion trying to protect a kitten

2Young

again did not know how Doyoung because like a parent to Mae but she just ended up rolling with it

She just has this aura to her that makes you want to care of her and give her love

whenever they go eat together with the group he always put food on her plate, regardless of whether the managers glare at him or not he glares back anyway so they back off

“doyoung she’s been put on a diet-” “she’s going to eat whether you like it or not”

one time Mae got sick with a fever and he just burst into her room with medicine and soup

if taeyong has the “world’s greatest dad” trophy doyoung has the “world’s greatest mom” trophy that he says he’ll throw it away but has it perched on his desk

Mae’s also one of the members who like to clown him

she’s the one of the reasons he already has gray hairs

Mae has a folder of embarrassing photos of Doyoung’s childhood that his brother sent to her and refuses to delete it

she cant do anything about them tho bc Doyoung got his own folder of babie Mae pics courtesy of Mae’s older brother

Haechan has tried and failed to gain access to either of those folders

MaeHyun

major sibling energy

but not like the bickering kind of energy but more like very soft and uwu

there are a lot of people asking them “are you sure you’re not related?” during interviews and fansigns

Fans are just waiting for the two to do a duet bc come on SM you have a real life Disney prince and princess here

Let Mae be the Jasmine to Jaehyun’s Aladdin and perform A Whole New World together

She likes to poke his dimple

There’s this one vid where Jaehyun and Mae are sitting together and she just pokes his dimple and Jaehyun’s smile gets bigger

joked about if he could let her meet yugyeom and bambam bc of 97line and he just went no <3

when jaehyun was inkigayo’s mc nobody could approach her with the infamous inkigayo sandwich bc she was always with him not like anyone could try considering mae has several bodyguards wherever she goes

you know how jaehyun won the alpaca plushie in nct life? he gave it to mae bc he know how much she loved plushies

Honestly the majority of the plushies in her room were given to her by jaehyun

She has a bear named after him uwu

MaeWoo

Loves the energy he gives and thinks he’s so funny

He never fails to make her laugh whenever she needs cheering up

they used to be shy around each other when he first joined the group but they caught each other having a midnight snack so they just talked at 3am eating ramen until doyoung found them and told them to go to bed

now it’s just tradition for them to go to a convenience store together and eat ramen or whatever snacks they decide to get

nobody is allowed to join them its only a MaeWoo thing

Mae has natural aegyo but Jungwoo has taught her to use it to her advantage which she does but not often

Another one of Mae’s cuddle buddies

She just thinks he looks so soft so she just clings to him whenever he’s nearby

Major uwu energy over here when it comes to the two of them together

idk why but i dont see him as the type to be protective when it comes to her dating

he’s more like

“you dont have a boyfriend yet? damn people dont know what they’re missing”

or on the other side of the spectrum

“good luck to your future boyfriend he’ll need it if he’s gonna date you”

2Ma/MaeKyung

Older brother that doesn’t feel like an older brother

Majority of the time he kinda just feels like they’re the same age or younger so newer fans get shocked when they find out she’s younger

Like there was this one time Johnny the two were playing Smash Bros and Mark was whining because he lost and Mae was jumping in the background cheering it was his fourth loss in a row but he won’t say it

they were kinda awkward around each other at first so johnny literally had to stick them in a room together and didn’t let them leave until they talked to each other

it worked and they just vibed and rambled about different topics like trainee life and what mark’s life in Vancouver was like

speaking of Vancouver

one time during their stay in Vancouver they wanted to have a friend date but he lost her at a mall and took twenty minutes trying to find her until she used the announcement service to call him

he wouldve ask his Vancouver friends to go with them but some of them had a crush on mae so no <3

When she first starting writing songs and her own lyrics she went to Mark first and asked if the lyrics she wrote were good

They were amazing and Mark made sure to tell her that :D

mae��s reaction to his dream graduation was one of the saddest things czennies have seen so when she found out he was coming back she would not let go of him

Literally could not stop smiling whenever mark was with the rest of dream filming for Resonance

It’s just very wholesome and czennies are willing to riot if SM decides to separate them

Maechan

You know how I said Maehyun was the soft and uwu type of siblings? Well Maechan are the bickering type of siblings

You know the ones who like to bicker over minor things but still would protect each other for life

they have so much dirt on each other on trainee days lmao

Haechan to Mae: lmao what a loser

Haechan when someone insults Mae: listen here you little shit

The only person allowed to clown her is him and the rest of NCT

he heard a trainee talk shit about her once and they still can’t look haechan in the eye

he’s only a few months older than her but he uses the “i’m older!” card whenever he can

“i’m older therefore i get to go first” “excuse me sir but you’re only three months older than me” “but im still older”

they fight for the title of the favorite 127 maknae but they both know that can do what they want

Mae is more lenient towards the hyungs during yaja time than haechan is tho so she just vibes whenever they go to scold him when the games over

they do team up a lot so they’re a menace when they do something together

especially in games

their competitive nature plus their brain power together? its over it even started

50% of the time they have to be separated from each other when it comes to choosing teams

the other 50% is someone choosing both of them because they want that easy win

Those two are willing to risk it all even for a bag of chips

#24th member of nct #nct 24th member #nct female oc #nct female addition #nct au #kpop female addition #nct addition #nct dream female addition #nct dream female member #nct 127 female addition #nct 127 female member

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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shinsouskitten · 4 years

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Shinsou Hitoshi nsfw alphabet

damn kat back at it again with the thirst i hate myself

Idk how I haven’t done a nsfw alphabet for my KING yet but I’m disappointed in myself for it

this post was mostly finished before the whole ‘this cold makes me feel like im dying’ thing so i just had to add a few and it was ready for publishing (bonus points if you can tell which ones were added in my cold-induced craziness)

Warnings: you know it, you love it, the thirsting of a lonely writer

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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Shinsou is a king when it comes to aftercare. Hot baths, massages, cuddles, you name it. You mean the absolute world to him, and he’ll go out of his way to show that, both in and out of the bedroom

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

Shinsou can be pretty self critical, but if you pushed for an answer he’d probably say his hair, cause he knows how much you like it. For his partner, horny Shinsou would immediately go for your neck (literally too). He loves how a single kiss can turn you into putty in his hands, and he’ll leave marks in places he knows you can’t hide just to prove to the world that you’re his

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside you, on you, he doesn’t really mind. Whatever you prefer, he’s happy with. If you want to get messy, he’s more than happy to help, but if not he’ll keep you clean (ish). Although he’s unlikely to admit it, seeing you swallow his cum ignites a fire in Shinsou, and sets up quite a few more rounds so he can give you a reward for being so good

D = Dirty secret (pretty clear, a dirty secret of theirs)

Shinsou’s pretty open with what he wants, but when you first start getting intimate there’ll be a few things he doesn’t really want to say in case he scares you away (he could never, but he still worries). He wants to experiment, but he makes sure he knows your boundaries before he suggests anything too out there. The thing he keeps secret for the longest is the desire to wrap your neck in a beautiful collar emblazoned with his name, simply cause he doesn’t want you to think it’s weird

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He does his research, but hands on experience is pretty limited before you. It’s a learning curve, both of you learning what makes the other tick, what causes you the highest amount of pleasure, and what to steer clear of

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Loves to see you ride him. It gives you the power to control the tempo, but also gives him a beautiful view to tip him over the edge of ecstasy. More needy Shinsou (aka when he’s in hornball mode) likes doggy style, cause it means he can pull your hair or hold you up against him and kiss your neck

G = Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)

He’s not going to whip out a joke book in the middle of sex, but he’s also not going to act like an uptight secretary who’s only able to follow the rules (well, not unless you ask 👀)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Keeps himself trimmed, possibly even shaved. It’s no nonsense and means it’s also more enjoyable for you if you’re giving him head

I = Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

He’s an intimate guy, but he’s also not above teasing (though there’s another letter for that so I’ll keep on intimate for now). Like I mentioned in B, Shinsou can be pretty self critical, and sometimes he can get scared that you’ll leave him if he doesn’t prove how much he loves you, which to him means intimate sex and reassurance (aka, saying ‘I love you’ every two seconds)

J = Jack off (what are their views on masturbation?)

He does it when needed. He’s not insanely horny, so chances are if he is you’re there to deal with him. But if you’re not, and he’s especially needy, he’ll most likely call you up for a little phone session. The thought of you is incredible, but being able to see and hear you is even better

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think we all know the phrase kitty, right? Well inference leads me to believe that Shinsou would be down for trying out pet play. And yes, as I mentioned before, he would 100% have a collar for you with his name on it. I don’t take criticism for that one

L = Location (favorite places to do the dance with no pants)

More traditional. Sex between the two of you means intimacy, so he’d prefer privacy. You have yet to find a surface in your house he hasn’t tried to fuck you on. That being said, your comfort is of the utmost importance to Shinsou, so if he’s going to fuck you over the kitchen counter, he’s going to make sure you feel comfortable while he does it. So yes, that means he’ll take pillows off the sofa’s just to make you comfy

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going, etc)

You. Simple as. There are certain things that especially turn him on, such as you biting your lip or being extra attentive to him in what would seem like a normal scene to anyone else watching. Put your hand on his thigh when out at dinner and pay the price when you get home. Or maybe that was your plan all along

N = No (turn offs, something they wouldn’t do)

Shinsou never wants you to be in pain (well not unless you want to be in pain). He’ll leave hickies all over you, but that’s about as far as he’ll go with marking you. Maybe a spank here and there, but he won’t scar you or leave any marks that won’t be gone in a few days

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Shinsou prefers giving, but he’ll never say no to receiving either. He wants you to feel good, but if you decide to turn the tables he’s not going to deny you. Once you’re finished though, he’s repaying the favor tenfold. And just as a note, pull his hair when he goes down on you. He adores it

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Yes and yes. It all depends on the situation, his mood, the usual things. He’ll do whatever provides you with the most pleasure (while also allowing him to tease you)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

He doesn’t love them, but if they’re the only way to get some gratification then he’s willing (only if you are though). He’s careful about location, he doesn’t want someone walking in and ruining the whole thing, even if the risk of being caught makes everything a little more exciting. Chances are he won’t engage in quickies unless he’s been to the place at least once before (he wants to know which wall you’d look best pinned to). He has to feel slightly comfortable in the environment

R = Risk (how risky are they willing to be?)

He’s down for a little risk, but nothing that would be too mortifying for you. If he’s going to screw you somewhere other than your home, he’s going to vet the place over a lot, and find the best place where you have the comfort of being private but the thrill of being caught if someone were to venture too close to your hideout

S = Stamina (how long do they last? how many rounds?)

Freaking hell where does he get it from? Like, he just doesn’t stop. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. Most of the rounds consist of him pleasing you, and he’ll only give in and finally fuck you when your throat is hoarse from begging, or when he feels the smallest amount of pity at the tears rolling down your face (did someone say crying kink)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them on a partner or themselves?)

Vibrating panties. I said he doesn't physically act on desires when in public, but touching a remote isn’t the same thing as touching you, so he makes an exception. He’s not insanely cruel. For him it’s more about teasing that mortification, so if someone senses something’s wrong, he turns off the remote until they give up. But the moment they’re gone, it’s back stronger than ever

U = Unfair (how much do they tease?)

*roblox oof sound effect*

Once Shinsou gains his confidence with you, he’s not going back. His teasing is often coupled with praise, telling you how good you’re being for him while he denies you pure bliss again and again. He’ll edge you to hell and back if you give him the chance, but don’t worry, it’s worth it in the end

V = Volume (how they sound, how loud they are, etc)

Small moans and louder grunts are the main sounds coming from Shinsou when he’s enjoying himself. He swears a lot, and it’s always easy to tell how close he is to the edge by how creative his swears become. As for his partner, he wants to know how well he’s doing. He wants to hear you whine and beg while he edges you, and the pornstar-like moans that fill the air when he finally gives in and gives you what you really want

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

You think I forgot about his quirk. Ha, I could never. I said in my hcs that it takes a while for Shinsou to integrate quirk use into sex. As much as you assure him you’re in full trust, he’s anxious about the inability to say no when he has you under his control. The longer you’re together the more willing he is, but even when he does use it it’s usually a way to make edging even more dangerous, with you unable to resist his words when he tells you you’re not allowed to cum just yet

Okay maybe we have 2 wild cards this time cause I also wanna mention his capture weapon. Again, it’ll take a while for it to be available in a less-than-pg manner, but he’s more willing to use his capture weapon than his quirk. Main reason being, you can still use a safeword when tied up. But tying up goes both ways, so even if he prefers to be the one giving the pleasure, he’d never deny your wishes

X = X-ray (let’s have a looksee in those pants)

I’m trying not to be biased cause I love him so much but I feel like Shinsou’s kinda packing. A good 8.5-9 inches (no, I won’t take criticism) and on the skinnier side. But the amount of attention he gives you before his pants are even off means taking him is never difficult

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not the highest, but when you’re around it increases significantly. He’s not going to fuck you every time he sees you (I mean, he thinks about it) but he also isn’t a nun. It’s a good level, cause most days you can walk, and then on the weekends you’re a little bedridden

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s a bit of an insomniac, so screwing the energy out of him is one of the best ways to get Shinsou tired enough to sleep. He likes to hold you, so once he’s satisfied with the aftercare, he’ll crawl in bed for cuddles until the both of you pass out

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero #hitoshi shinsou x reader #hitoshi shinsou #hitoshi shinsou smut #bnha shinsou #Shinsou #shinsou x reader #shinsou smut #mha x reader #mha smut

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i-will-physically-fight-you · 3 years

Note

Are you going to finish the Tiny Virgil AU? Cause the last chapter ended on a cliffhanger. If you don't feel like finishing the whole thing, you could maybe give us bullet points of what was supposed to happen?

Ahaha whoops, I kinda forgot that fic. at the rate I'm going, it'll take like ten years for that or any of my other fics to get finished. Tbh, I actually have a whole outline for that one? Acantha (@theeternalspace) and I brainstormed the rest ages ago and then I took our thoughts and bullet-outlined it out.

The thing is? Like, emotionally I want to hold onto my thoughts and finish it, but if I am to be completely honest, realistically it probably won't happen. Because I wanna prioritize Gibbous over it and all.

so tldr: I'd like to write more installments, but in the case I never finish it and/or you don't care about spoilers, check the read more for what happens.

warnings: hurt/comfort, crying, morally grey sides (all sides are present so beware idk its been awhile im not up to date with how the fandom handles this sorta thing)

Chapter 5

Anx cant believe he forgot about Thomas!

He was so caught up in Creativity wanting to play with him, he's forgotten about his whole purpose

He goes to the real world, worried about all the things that could've befallen his host without his guidance

Anx is confused to be faced with adult Morality and another...side?

"Thomas?"

Thomas is big, Anx is not

This can't be real, can it? How can he protect Thomas like this?

Roman shows up, but the damage is dealt (Ro and Pat converse a bit)

Virge starts panicking and panics even more when he sees Thomas affected by it

Ro & Pat try to comfort Virge but no use

It's Thomas who gets to him. Who is...helping? Why?

"Wh-why are you so nice? I'm bad, I hurt you--I do bad things."

Thomas looks sad at that. He tries to explaining that he doesnt think Virge is bad, he can be good

Virge doesnt really understand but at the same time...Thomas loves him??

Thomas offers him a hug and he accepts it. Still so confused but at least his host loves him.

Chapter 6

Virgil ends up tuckered up in Thomas' arms

"Crying is exhausting, don't like it" He complains to Roman.

"I know. You've been very brave, little prince."

It's not that late but Thomas seems nervous. "I should go to bed." (Basically feels like if he doesnt adhere to his childhood bedtime, he'll get in trouble aka lil Virgil's influence)

Patton asks if he'd like for him to accompany him and Thomas nods

Roman and Virgil end up back in the mindscape with Patton promising to follow soon after

Roman tucks him into bed

Patton comes back, looking tired, and both Roman and Patton agree to talk with Logan in the morning about things

in the morning with Virgil still asleep, Lo, Pat and Ro talk briefly

Logan shares some theories (Age regression maybe?)

Patton tells them what's up with Thomas

Roman decides to bother the Dark Sides. "If this happened before in the past, they would know, wouldn't they? And if they're behind it this time then I can get them to stop it"

They decide to have Patton look out for Thomas again and for Logan to watch over Virgil while Roman ventures out to the Dark Sides

Chapter 7

Logan mulls over what is happening

Grateful that Thomas is going to bed early at least

He is not worried, he is Logic

Tries focusing hard on his book

Virgil wakes up, disappointed to see Logan and not Roman

Roman ventures through the dark mindscape

infodump detail on how it differs vs. the regular mindscape, quiet, silence nobody is around

"HELLO" Roman screams as his brother pops up

"What do I owe brother dear for this visit?"

Virgil is worried about Roman, but Logan placates him a bit

The two end up doing a puzzle

During which Virgil randomly hugs Logan

When Logan asks why, Virgil explains "You're scared. Hugs make me feel less scared"

Logan thanks him for the sentiment but insists he is not scared

"You're scared, I can feel it. It's okay, I get scared lots of times so you don't have to." Virgil says

And then Logan's fear dissipates

He stares at Virgil, shocked, because did tiny virge take his fear away??

And if so, if tiny virge knows how to do this, has adult Virgil been doing it without them knowing??

Chapter 8

"I know you did it" Roman growls. It makes sense really. Remus did random things for sh*t and giggles

Remus blinked "Oh! You found out about ____, didn't you?"

"What no!" Roman says, disgusted. "I'm talking about Virgil."

"Wait, you think I did it with Virgil? Mr. Emo?"

"NO!" Roman snaps. "Stop playing dumb!"

The two have a scuffle, ending up with Remus having a sword at Ro's throat (who is stuck in green goop)

"I really don't know what you mean." Remus says, "What is it exactly do you think I did again?"

Logic must hate him, Anx thinks, otherwise why would he be looking strangely at him?

but its okay, even if it really really really hurts, Anx has done it before and would do it again to keep from any of them feeling pain

He asks if Anx took his fear away and he nods

surely this must be a happy thing but Logic seems even more upset

the fear grappling tiny virge is foreign. It's so different than fears he's taken before. He finds himself drowning in it. he doesnt quite understand most of it. But there's fears about himself, Logic being scared for him, not of him. (basically oh boy adult fears are much harder to process for a child Anxiety)

Logic grips his hand and asks for his fears back

"I can't" Tiny Virge says, shaking like a leaf

Logan asks it again. Virge shakes his head "I can't, I--I don't know how!"

He really doesnt know how. Usually he just holds it all in until it explodes.

Logic echoes some of what the fear is telling him, that Logic cares for him. And weirdly, it means a lot for him to hear that Logic actually cares.

But noooo he must only care because of Thomas, right?

Anyways this is resolved somehow idk lmao and then Logan is called to help with Thomas

Virgil promises Lo he'll be okay, not wanting to stop him from being able to help their host

Logan promises he'll back momentarily

Virgil squeezes Zola and tries his best to stay calm

Previously on Rem and Ro

Roman spills the beans on whats up

Deadbeat silence

Remus then babbles about how he has no clue what Roman is talking about, but is super intrigued and wants to check this out for himself

He sinks out as Roman grabs onto his ankle, but isn't enough to stop him from sinking out.

Chapter 9

"Hiya!"

Little Anx squeaks, shadows gathering at his feet, ready to strike at....

A Green-Dressed Creativity? He dresses fancily like him.

"Princey?"

Green laughs. "No, I'm The Duke! Princey's my brother!"

And Lil Virge is kinda confused but rolls with it because Creativity pretending to be someone else/splitting himself into two is a very Creativity thing to do and isn't too worried about it.

Roman shows up, fuming

However, because of Virgil, he has to play nice

They end up having a pretend tea party

Roman finds himself shocked that Remus is decent with kids? Or at least a Kid Anxiety??

He still says outrageous things but Virge giggles at them (Basically kids really have no baseline for moral right-or-wrong, they find talk of murder funny)

Roman feels a bit guilty/regretful realizing he never played much with Remus growing up

Eventually, Logan pops up slightly frazzled

He's relieved to see the twins there looking after Virgil

Explains the situation w/ Thomas to Roman while Remus and Virgil play

Patton pops up, looking slightly weary, leading Roman and Logan to insist he take a day off from watching Thomas

Upon seeing Logan & Patton, Virgil runs up to hug Logan, but shies away from Patton

Patton tries to hide his disappointment about this

Remus tries to leave upon seeing Lo and Pat are here

but Virge clings to him, insisting he stays

The Others agree, and Remus perks up a bit.

Somewhere, there's a discussion about Virge again, late at night?

Logan reveals Virgil taking fears from him

At some point it's decided to leave Janus out of it as it's unknown how little Virge would react to him and the fact that Janus most likely knows what's up and has chosen to stay out of it

It's decided that Remus and Roman will traverse the Imagination to see if there's a solution there

Logan will be with Thomas

Meanwhile Patton will look after Virgil

Chapter 10

Patton's POV

Little Virge is upset about both Remus and Roman leaving

they try to placate him but it does little. (Telling him how they'll stay safe and they don't want him going because they want to keep him safe)

Patton's heart breaks but he has to holds back Virge.

Eventually the two have heart-to-heart

Apparently the two had a classic childhood spat, that means a lot to Virge even tho poor Pat doesnt remember the spat at all.

Pat tells them they're the best of friends now, even shows him evidence

Virge feels a little better

Sees a snake stuffy in Pat's room, asks about Dee

Patton deflects

The two end up making cookies together

The Imagination is a bust, although the twins return squabbling in a good mood

And Remus has a "present" for Virgil, who delights in it.

They chat, when suddenly Virgil screams

Chapter 11

Virgil's POV

He's been trying his best to stay calm, to hold back the anxiety gained from Logan and also the other fears swelling inside of him

But it's too much, and push comes to shove. A burning sensation occurs

And it explodes

He has a panic attack and realizes it extends into the real world

Overwhelmed and upset, he runs off.

He runs off to his hideaway and sits there

Getting bombarded with fears

He's there for what feels like hours when--

"Oh my dear Anxiety" A crooning, unfamiliar yet familiar voice says

Virgil looks, surprised, to see Deceit!! There's a lot more scales and he's wearing a funny outfit but it's him

He is happy to see him albeit sobbing into his capelet because of what happened.

Dee holds onto him going, “Shhhh everything’s alright. Shhh it’s not your fault. It’s my fault, I’m sorry—“ and Virgil interrupts shrieking it can’t be his fault, because in his mind Dee would never do anything bad and it hurts Dee to know that young Virge has so much faith in him.

"You'll hate me" But Little Virge refuses to accept that. "You're lying, you don't mean that"

"Okay, you caught me. "We stay best friends forever" OR something along those lines

Dee convinces him to bring back to the others, that they don't hate him

When they return, the others "freaking out" is a mild understatement.

Dee slowly produces tiny Virge out of his capelet.

Hisses at them to keep their distance because crowding Virge will only freak him out

Apologies and misunderstandings are made clear

Thomas summons all of them and they all have a sleepover

Virgil falls asleep snuggled between Remus and Dee

Chapter 12

Maybe Roman's POV?

Along with Thomas, they have a discussion

Dee waits a bit, before revealing that he's behind the reason for Virge's current state.

As his role Deceit, he has access to both truth and lies. One lie is that Virgil believes his kid self died and is no longer a part of him--attempting to actively repress those memories

He then points out the childish aspects of each side's function. (Maybe Logan input something about growing up and stuff)

P: "But why would Virgil think this?" J: "oh gee, I wonder why. It isn't like he was made to feel like an outcast from a very young age or anything"

Instant Guilt for all

Anyways Dee explains some mishap occurred, thus reverting Virgil back to this state

You get the sense Janus isn't telling the whole truth.

Janus says he has a way to fix things, and that's when there's a noise

"Anx?"

Virge is there, standing incredibly still, slightly heavy breathing

"Anx, it's okay, we're not upset"

Little Virge heard everything and is upset but he understands

He knows Thomas needs big him, and the others reassure him that they'll be there for him, each having a small moment with him

Then he starts glowing brightly, causing them all to be alarmed, Janus included

Chapter 13

Virgil is back and boiiiiiii is he freaked the heck out

The Others including Thomas are all there, F*CK how can he ever recover after they saw him like that?

He's both embarrassed and mortified

Not to mention it hurts to have two sets of childhood memories rattling inside his head. One that was lonely and painful, and the other that was happy but fake

He snaps at Janus and ends up fleeing in his room

He doesn't duck out

He cant do that

He just doesnt....go out. He doesn't want to hear the jokes start. He doesnt want the babying or the pitying to start.

He does his job and that is that.

(inwardly he knew this would happen, but not like this)

They try summoning him (Thomas included) but he wont come out. His door is locked.

Patton slips a note under the door but Virge refuses to look at it.

Blares MCR

Somehow Zola appears in his room, and he'd like to tear it apart or something, but he can't help but squeeze the stuffed bat tight and cry for the childhood that never was.

A week passes, and there's a very sad prince at his door

Virgil ends up letting him in because look, he's not a monster

it's very...awkward at first

but they eventually have a heart-to-heart and some snarky banter

and Virgil is very confused when Princey feels the need to apologize to him

They also discuss Janus and Virgil very reluctantly agrees to talk to him

Virgil ends up talking with Janus over tea

Janus doesn't really look at him, staring at his teacup as he explains himself

and dammit, Janus has hurt him (but then again so has Virgil hurt Janus)

But a part of him really misses him. A part of him that has always missed him.

Janus explains he just wanted to know where he went wrong in their friendship, that he went the round-about way because knew Virgil wouldn't talk to him but messed with things he shouldnt and accidentally caused Virgil to revert to the age before their friendship started fraying by accident.

He admits that he almost wanted to leave Virgil that age, to take advantage of it as a way to start again, but ultimately couldnt let himself take advantage of virgil in that way

He also apologizes, telling Virgil "Showing weakness isn't bad. I told you once that you had to stay strong and not let anyone see it, but I was wrong" and that he understands if Virgil doesnt accept his apology right away or if ever

And Virgil doesnt completely accept, not yet, but he's willing to try

It ends happily with them going down to dinner with the others. (possibly Virgil having moments with the others??)

the end

BONUS, Written Scene from Chapter 11 w/ Virge's and Janus's reunion because I was self-indulgent and wrote ahead

“Oh my dear Anxiety,” A silky voice croons, so achingly familiar.

He sniffles, raising his head to meet eyes with the much older face of his best friend; Deceit. It has to be, there is no other side whose left side of face is reptilian in nature. He’s crouching beside Virgil, only one set of arms present at the moment. He’s wearing a funny outfit, but then Deceit has always dressed funny, just like Creativity. Neither of them have ever been worried about standing out.

“Dee!” Anxiety cries out, all but flinging himself onto the older side. The velocity of it flattens the two onto the ground, with Deceit letting a small grunt from the impact. He’d be more worried about possibly hurting Deceit if he wasn’t too busy bawling his eyes out into the strange cape Deceit is wearing.

Deceit strokes his hair, so soft and gentle. Then two sets of arms hoist Anxiety upwards, settling him onto Deceit’s lap. Deceit hugs Anxiety, cocooning him in a warm embrace. For a moment, everything feels normal again. As if they’re all kids still and Anxiety had sought Deceit for comfort after a bad nightmare.

Then Deceit speaks, saying words meant to be comforting. They are comforting at first, until Deceit says things that don’t make sense. And Anxiety knows Deceit is a liar, that he says things that aren’t true. But he knows when Deceit isn’t lying. They’re best friends after all.

“Shhh, it’ll be alright. Shhh, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I hurt you and I’m--”

“No!”

“No?” Deceit repeats.

“No, it--it--you didn’t do anything bad, you wouldn’t!” Anxiety says, nearly shrieking, “You’d never, ever, hurt me. We’re best friends and best friends don’t do that.”

A strange, choking noise erupts from Deceit. Anxiety looks to see Deceit’s human eye glistening. His best friend’s lips quiver, like Anxiety gets when he gets too scared to speak. Except Deceit is never scared. He always knows what to say in a situation, confident in ways Anxiety could never be.

“Oh, I’ve forgotten what you were like at this age,” Deceit whispers, so low that Anxiety thinks he wasn’t meant to hear it. Then Deceit shakes his head, a weird laugh escaping him. “You’re going to hate me, Anx. Or rather, you’re going to hate me more after this is all over.”

“You’re lying,” Anxiety accuses, his fingers tightening around the fabric of Deceit’s cloak, “You don’t mean that. I love you, Dee, you’re my best friend and--and...Big Me is still best friends with you, right?!”

Deceit inhales sharply, as if there’s something stuck in his throat. Before Anxiety can even grow concerned for his well being, he breaths out a long dramatic sigh.

He rolls his eyes, smirking, “Alright, you caught me.”

“I did?”

“Yes. I was only lying to scare you out of crying,” Deceit assures him, “I didn’t mean to scare you into thinking we weren’t best friends still. Of course we are.”

“G-good,” Anxiety huffs, “don’t scare me like that, Dee, I don’t like it!”

“I won’t do it again, I promise,” Deceit says, his smirk fading a bit as he takes on a somber expression, “it still isn’t your fault for what happened, Virg--Anxiety. Neither I or any of the others think it is. They certainly despise you for it.”

“Despise?” Anxiety’s heart jumps a bit, “Oh! You mean...you’re saying...they don’t despise me?”

“I don’t know,” Deceit raises an eyebrow, “Why don’t you try reaching out? See what their fears tell you.”

Anxiety closes his eyes, sticking his tongue out in concentration. If he thinks super hard, he can envision everyone's fears like spider webs, branching all over the mindscape, interconnected in some ways and in others, completely disconnected in each side's little corner.

And he is the itsy bitsy spider, that scuttles about and maintains the webs to some degree. Because a little bit of fear is good, it helps keep Thomas alive. So he traces the webs and searching for what Dee suggested. There is one thread present, in every nook and cranny of the web, he searches, even in the splinter-offs. One fear that repeats and loops through the whole network that he has never seen before.

"Oh." Anxiety breathes, eyes widening. They're not afraid of him. They're afraid for him, worried about his safety and wellbeing. Anxiety doesn't know what to think of that.

#kat answers #anon #tiny virge au #and yeah this is basically how I outline fics and stuff sorry im not too funny unlike some others in their outlines

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asteriismos · 4 years

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rough - aiden hall

warning(s) : smut, dry humping, swearing

words : 1.9k

authors note : idk if this is good or not i wrote this in one go with it really really rare but im procrastinating my work i was supposed to do today and its also 12 am lol. if i read this in the morning and it sux i’ll probably rewrite lol. and also how the hell do you end fics i always have a weird time doing it okay okay i will stop rambling

request :

could you imagine aidan taking you to his room to make out and maybe dry hump a little and his dad just rolls up. like idk to talk to aidan about grace or whatever and it makes him mad so when you guys go back to making out and humping, he’s being really extra rough with it and makes you both cum in your pants. UGHHHH HORNY LIFE NEEDS TO STOP

Could you do an Aiden Hall x reader with the prompts 50 and 57?

prompts : “shut up” & “if we get caught im blaming you”

“you know i hate scary movies,” you said to aiden, walking into his room and setting down the bowel of popcorn on the side table near his bed. he opened up the curtains to some of his windows, exposing moonlight into his room, making you smile a little bit to yourself.

it was date night. your favorite night. every friday you and aiden would have a night where you two would watch a movie at his house and cuddle. it was always nice and always the best.

aiden was a good boyfriend and you loved him a lot, you knew that he felt the same way about you.

but you could tell that there was something on his mind tonight, something distracting him a little bit.

“babe, you good?” you asked him, sitting down next to him on the bed. you rested your back along the headboard, pulling the white comforter onto your legs. you also grabbed the bowl of popcorn, putting it in between you two for easy access.

aiden looked at you and gave you a weak smile, shaking his head. he put his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. your head came to rest on his chest. you could hear his heartbeat, it was rapid, now you knew that something was up. you gave him one last look and he sighed, shaking his head and saying, “it’s just my dad. his new girlfriend, or fiancee, or whatever.”

your face saddened, realizing what he was getting at. ever since his mom killed herself a few a months ago, you knew it has been hard for him to get used to the idea of a new woman in his fathers life. apparently his father had been seeing this other woman for a while, and aiden had yet to really meet the woman, only talking to her once to be introduced to her. from what aiden said about her, she seemed weird. her name was grace.

mia, his little sister, also didn’t like grace. and that was saying something. mia was a really bubbly, kind little girl. you’ve never heard her say anything bad about anything until she talked about grace.

you cringed at the thought of meeting grace.

“what’s up with her?” you asked him, hand coming up to cup his cheek so he looked at you. you pressed a kiss to his cheek, giving him a kind smile to try and ease his nerves talking about it.

aiden huffed out a small breath. “he said that he needed to talk to me about her earlier today.” he met your eyes and shrugged his shoulders. “I told him that you were coming over for date night and he said he’d talk to me sometime tonight and hasn’t yet. i don’t know. i’m just worried that maybe things are getting more serious with her and she’ll try and replace my mom.”

you frowned, reaching down to grab his hand. “she can never replace your mom,” you assured him, holding him closely.

aiden’s mom was such a nice woman. you were devestated when you heard the news about her being dead. of course you rushed to aiden’s side ( even mia’s side too ) to comfort him in any way you possibly could. you were there for the funeral, clutching onto aiden’s hand and eventually mia’s when her balloon didn’t go all the way up into the air.

luckily, things have been better as time went on.

but you could still tell that he was hurting from time to time.

aiden never outwardly said that he was sad when he was. instead it would show up in little things that he did from time to time. like when he would hold you extra close and longer in a hug, or when you guys would fall asleep together when you’re cuddling and he would wake up in a cold sweat. there was a lot of baggage. but slowly you were helping him get rid of it.

what you feared for the worst is that this new woman would pile it right back on again.

that’s why now when you saw aiden have that same ‘thinking face’ he always had when he was thinking about his parents, you got scared.

but he didn’t seem too shaken up, if anything he was more aggravated than sad. which made sense. you would be sad in his position too.

aiden shrugged his shoulders once again, reaching to grab the tv remote that was next to him. he started to play the movie, moving around until he had his arms wrapped around you as the movie began. he pressed a kiss to the skin that connected your jaw and neck.

the movie played on, and the more it did, the less you guys seemed to be paying attention to it.

this usually happened during date nights. you two would get at least ten minutes to the movie and then get distracted with each other. this time it started when he kept kissing along your neck, a little bit at a time, stopping, then continuing again.

now aiden was on top of you. kissing you feverishly like it was the last thing that he would ever do. your hands rested on his sides, legs wrapping around his waist. his hand was under your shirt palming against your left breast, making you moan breathlessly into his mouth every time he applied pressure.

you felt the heat pool in between your thighs, every time his growing hard on would unintentionally press against your clothed core.

in curiosity, you brought your hips up and rolled them against his own. now that felt good. the friction that you got from that made both of you moan into each other’s mouths, and you did it again to get the same reaction.

his tongue met your own and prodded against it, gaining dominance right away. you felt that familiar sense of a coil begin to wrap in your lower abdomen, making you moan and whine every time his hips met your own.

there was a soft knock on his door and both of you looked at each other with wide eyes for just a second, before he moved off of you. you felt your cheeks heat up at the thought of someone catching you under him, and allowed him to wrap his arms around you again. it appeared like you two had been cuddling, nothing else, and aiden yelled, “yeah?”

the door opened, revealing his dad. the man walked into the room and smiled at the sight of both of you guys cuddling. you pretended like you had been watching the movie intently.

“what’s up guys?” his dad asked. “can i borrow aiden for a second, y/n? i need to talk to him about a few things.”

you heard aiden groan behind you. “really? right now? the movie is just getting good.”

“yes, just for a few minutes. you can pause it.”

aiden unwrapped his arms and got off the bed. you paused the movie and watched him walk out with his dad. the door closed and the talking was muffled so you couldn’t hear much of their conversation. instead you played with your hair, twisting it a little bit here and there, waiting for your boyfriend to come back.

at least five minutes rolled by and soon enough the door was opening and aiden came back in. you watched as he closed the door, then the familiar sound of the lock rang through the room and you gave him a confused look. but the look he was giving you? shot right down in between your legs. you took a moment to resume the movie.

he took off his white sweatshirt, now in a t shirt and his grey sweatpants. aiden got on the bed again and took his place in between your legs, his lips meeting yours yet again.

you didn't even get the chance to ask him what had happened.

his lips worked against you way more roughly than he had before, tongue basically shoving down your throat. you struggled to keep up with his pace, but tried your best.

your hands wrapped around his neck and pulled him as close as you possibly could, chest pressing up against his. your legs came to wrap around his waist like they had before, but this time he didn’t waste any time to roll his hips against yours. the feeling came back and you were once again moaning into his mouth.

his hands came to your back, pulling you up with him so you were sitting in his lap. your back rested against the headboard just for a moment, until he pulled you all the way up, your chest pressing against his once again.

“fuck, aiden,” you whispered, feeling his hips roll against yours. you took an opportunity and pulled on the strands of his hair, messing up his part. not that it mattered anyways.

aiden gives you a look as he pulls away, watching your face as your hips rolled together. the way that your mouth stood agape, eyes fluttering closed was the hottest thing that he’s ever seen in his life. he was so angry because of what his father had told him, and he needed to get that anger out somehow.

he was also horny, undeniably horny and needed to get off. but most importantly, he wanted you to get off too.

“shut up,” he muttered, head dipping to press a harsh kiss to your neck. with every kiss, lick, and nip that he gave you made you make soft noises. his hand that was gripping your side squeezed it. neither of you wanted to get caught, so you suppressed your moans as much as you could.

he made basically artwork on your neck, purple and red hues were left in the places of his lips while he trailed up and down your skin. he tried to kiss every possible place he could while you still had your shirt on. all the while his hips still moved against yours, pressing right in between your eyes and fueling the fire that was going.

and even though you were trying to keep yourself from moaning too loud, some loud ones would come from you. aiden took his face from your neck and looked at you in the eyes. his green eyes were dark with lust, a clear motive in his mind. “if we get caught, i’m blaming you.” you laughed for a moment, though his lips caught yours again and stopped it.

a particularly hard rut of his hips sent you almost all the way over the edge, but he was just teasing with you and you knew it. he was close to cumming, you could tell, just by the way that his hips were rubbing against you desperately.

“you’re so goddamn beautiful,” aiden mumbled, hand cupping your cheek to kiss you. it was a passionate kiss, some strength and love behind it.

his clothed cock grazed in just the right spot and you felt yourself cum right in your pants and panties. you were sure that you had soaked right through your pants.

aiden rutted his hips against yours, riding out your high and eventually reaching his own. your name fell from his lips over and over again and he stopped all together.

both of you caught your breaths, feeling that sense of euphoria that came after having a really good orgasm.

aiden pressed a kiss to your cheek, arms coming to pull you into a hug.

“do you want to talk about it?” you asked him, referring to what had happened with his dad.

“not really. do i want to do that again? yes.”

you laughed, rolling your eyes. “don’t get too excited.”

#aiden hall #aiden hall x reader #the lodge #aidan hall #aiden hall imagine #the lodge imagine

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bisluthq · 3 years

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this is like really random but i have to vent. so basically i’m 20 years old and in my second-year at a uk university. and like i had the worst first-year of my life, made no friends, and got long covid plus really bad depression so yeah it wasn’t great. and now im back at uni i just am really feeling my lack of experience. iv never even properly kissed anyone let alone had sex and all the drinking games etc revolve around sex. i’m pretty sure i’m bi just like based on what i masturbate to but i’v only ever looked at guys as potential relationships. i just like don’t know how to navigate the social world with no friends and no sexual experience, it just feels impossible. and all my friends from home (1 of which is at uni with me) have boyfriends or at least have had sex. and also clubbing feels totally revolved around sex and kissing. it’s really hard to admit to people that i’m a virgin because people assume i’m a prude or a weirdo when i’m not i just haven’t really had the opportunity. i’m just feeling like such a loser atm. oh aaaand i actually really want a boyfriend rn.

Firstly, this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no timeline for these things.

Secondly, so this is going to be a long winded Agony AuNat but sometimes I think my best ones are. In a way, this reminds me of a friend I had like 20-21 at uni. Basically we became friends because I caught her forum role playing and I was like “lmaoooo I used to do that too!” and we like bonded over it and like very quickly I began realizing that she did it on the kinds of sites me and my online friends laughed at because they weren’t ⚡️aesthetic⚡️ or sexy. Like this was some high fantasy bullshit lol - no offense also cool - on like ProBoards when we were already in the Jcink era. Anyway no biggie. This girl - a horse girl at 20 still and not in the rich bitch way - proceeded to like… idolize me and obvi y’all know how much I like attention so I loved it. And one night she asked me for advice on how to get kissed because she had been like… really wanting to lose her virginity but things just weren’t happening. I proceeded to give the worst advice ever because I too was just a young un. I said “don’t worry it’s gonna happen for you!!! Like I’m sure your crush likes you!! Don’t stress you’re so pretty and sweet!” And I believed I was saying the right stuff and it comforted her ngl so I was like 👏🏻👏🏻 go Nat you’re the best at giving advice.

Except here’s the problem - it still wasn’t happening. She was going to parties with me and I was like dressing her sluttier like some weird teen romcom movie where I was giving her a makeover and like… no one was biting.

And then - for those who remember the Nat Cinematic Universe - it turned out that rando from my 21st who I randomly fucked? Ya dudes that was her crush lol and she hadn’t told me because she thought I’d figure it out lol and she was mad at me and we sorta stayed friends until I fucked that guy’s friend which was nbd to anyone involved because my bestie fucked him and tbh I fancied the friend because he was this average sized weedy dark haired boy who was very weird looking and she exploded at me and called me a slut and shit and that was that, friendship over.

Unsure what happened next, but the reason I’ve given you this backstory is from my current POV I gave extremely bad advice so I’m gonna try correct with you tonight.

Unless you’re in high school when friends of friends can go between people and say you have a crush, and then you text them and like bam you’re exclusive, you have to work to get ass or make friends. Okay the other exception is if you’re like SUPER hot idk about that life, but tbh probs even then. Life isn’t a teen movie, and you’re not gonna just catch someone’s eye and that’ll be that. Dressing nicely might be part of it, doing your hair and makeup in whatever style you want, and making it clear up front - especially at uni when imo branding™️ matters a lot - what your interests are and such shit all factor in. I’m not saying change who you are because again that’s supremely bad advice: figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to wear (experiment!), who you want to talk to (strike up convos on campus!), what you like doing (try things out!) and - most importantly - what you’re comfortable with. Try drinking - and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Try flirting - and if you don’t like it, know that you can go from friends to this and not everyone enjoys that. Try clubbing - and if you don’t like it, know that there are a ton of societies you can join on campus and campus events you can go to that don’t revolve around that, so seek those out and find your tribe.

Fundamentally, college is what you make of it.

Which means that like unfortunately my dude, you’ll make a fool of yourself. Probably more than once.

But know that friends won’t manifest and boys won’t manifest unless you make an effort and put yourself out there. Ask people to coffee. Ask people to the pub. Girls, boys, enbies, whoever.

Re the anxiety about “never having done this before” - I think that’s totally normal. But also like lots of other people haven’t and everyone has had a first time. In drinking games you can lie lol. You don’t need to advertise it’s your first time for anything if you’re uncomfortable with it. I didn’t tell my first kiss he was my first kiss lol because it was unnecessary info for him tbh (it wasn’t hs boyfriend even tho I’m pretty sure I was his lol but he was my third 😌).

But you also don’t need to be shy about it because honestly 2nd year uni is so fucking young. It’s not like you’re coming to me as a 40 year old virgin and asking for advice (again no timeline but I’m not there yet so maybe not the right person to give it). Most of the people you’re hanging out with haven’t had a ton of sexual experience either lmao. On my 20th birthday I had been with exactly two people, my Angel boyfriend (in hindsight) hs ex and the Rabbi’s son (literally no one’s Angel boyfriend but hopefully he and his tiny dick are married now and Mazels if so) who I fucked a few days after we broke up to prove a point. I was a bad lay (and remain so with guys unless they’re into The Hiddles Experience, not for lack of opportunities, but because we don’t have to master all things). I also - unlike you - had never masturbated. I’d never had an orgasm. I liked sex with hs ex but couldn’t explain what I liked or why, it was just fun sometimes and other times it wasn’t. (In hindsight with clit action it was fun and with pure thrusting it wasn’t). So the fact that you have wanked already gives you a head start over many of the girls guys will be meeting.

So like… figure out what’s comfortable for you. Try different things out. Walk away when you don’t like it. Never do stuff that goes against your values. Don’t be overly shy in ways that wind up making you uncomfortable, like with the story that started this, and don’t expect these things to happen if you make no effort. That applies to friendships and ass alike. And sometimes what you think will be ass will turn into friendships and sometimes what you think will be friendship will turn into more. Let it. That’s what uni’s for.

Final point: try reduce the pressure of having a boyfriend. It’s fine if it happens, but since as you say you’re not a prude, it’s fine if it doesn’t. It will eventually. Try go into encounters with the open mindedness of “this could be ass, this could be friendship, this could be more” and like clear eyes full hearts can’t lose tbh.

Final final point: join societies. Join all the societies. The best way to both get ass and make friends and make friends discussing the ass you’re getting is by joining societies.

Good luck, hope this helped, love you lots and enjoy this year and the next (and beyond if you choose Honours or postgrad).

#agony aunat

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

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friiday-thirteenth · 3 years

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guys im bored hear abt how i broke my arm. TW for broken bones, dissassociation, vomiting, drugs and needles. Also this is like. Therapy. Idk.

weird thing about it was that i was feeling intense happiness, because I’d just confirmed my classes for the next year and i was jsut. Really happy.

So i did this little twirly thing??? idk. Anyway, my ankle went out under my, i put my hand back and crack.

I know there was a definite seperation between the before and after of this. Like, the adrenaline made it feel like I was aware of everything.

After I fell, and after the crack, I stood up fast. I didn’t realise my wrist was fucked until I saw it - and it wasn’t a compound fracture, the skin was still unbroken. But it looked fucking nasty. It was supposed to be held straight, but the wrist was shifted.... up. And it was floppy, but I could control it if I wanted to be in immense amounts of pain.

I started walking over to my P.E. teacher. I said his name once, really loudly - and then he didn’t hear me, so I kept walking. I was cradling my wrist against my body at this point, and I just needed to move. It helped distract from my pain at that point.

When I reached him and he saw my wrist he was like fuck. He didn’t say it, but I could see it, and he said, “ Okay, we need to get you to the sickbay and call your parents.”

Okay, this happened before that when I was walking over. One of the people who was around me had walked beside me and was asking questions, and I straight up said, “Ruby, if you don’t walk away right now, I will either scream or burst into tears and scream, please go away.” I couldn’t handle anyone being near me.

Then when we were walking off the turf (where we were doing P.E. that day, as opposed to the gym.) one of the guys saw my arm and was like holy shit and I’m 99% sure I just looked at him with a really worried look. My face was going white I’m pretty sure, which is weird because I’m naturally flushed quite a lot of the time.

We had to walk up stairs. That fucking sucked. The pain was fine whenever it wasn’t jolting me, and we were walking fast, so you can imagine how I was trying to be very careful.

I’m 99% sure I was terrified that I was going to tip over again, and that would’ve hurt. I was just focusing on staying on my feet.

We got to the office/sickbay and they sat me down. I made myself get my retainer out of my mouth because it was.... foreign. I was going to - I’d say have a panic attack, but I’m not sure that’s the correct name for it - do something bad if I kept it in, because there was something already wrong with me and I just couldn’t handle it.

Also I asked if I could swear. Like, “Um, would it be okay if I, uh, swore?” and the person in there with me looked at me like wtf child and said i could.

Later, one of the teachers who’d walked by told me that they had no idea I had that filthy a mouth on me. Swearing helped a lot.

They made me put my wrist in this makeshift sling thing, which made me want to fucking cry. They sent someone to get my bag, and I told them to leave as soon as they’d gotten it, because I couldn’t handle any of my peers seeing my like that. probably because I felt extremely vulnerable.

I never swore at anyone. I can remember not wanting to, because I didn’t feel that they deserved it? Like, I didn’t want to take my pain out on them. Very strange.

They didn’t give me any panadol or nuramol or nurofen (pretty sure that isn’t how you spell it but eh). I can remember that, because they said that it might react badly to whatever drugs they gave me in the hospital.

When my mum got there, we went over to the car and I put my seatbelt on myself bc im independant like that, before I rolled my head back and scream-said to my mother to hurry up please I feel like I’m dying. Because she was talking to my teacher.

At that point I was being a melodramatic shit, because my pain level I think? was a four, unless I moved my arm, then it jolted into a six.

Anyway. I sung/murmured hamilton songs really fast as we drove the like, five minutes to the hospital because that helped distract me from the pain.

When we got to the hospital and the emergency room, we ended up waiting like 20 minutes which were all hell. My dad came at one point and I told mum he needed to leave because I couldn’t handle having him there. Not for any bad reasons, just that I fucking hated dealing with people and if I had to deal with him I’d cry.

I didn’t cry at any point during this, which was weird. I didn’t like that.

Someone gave me two panadol or something, which didn’t help in the least. They got mum to fill out an acc form - I can remember her asking me things. The pain was bad, like a constant throbbing that was there. I’m pretty sure I started not being there at some point during the time I was waiting. It was easier than dealing with it all, because there were people staring at me and my arm and I wanted to scream at them because none of them were as bad as me and why the fuck are you staring at me.

Anyway. When the nurse came - she was really nice - she got me into a room and to sit on a bed, and then we waited for what was maybe half an hour? There was an old guy dying or nearly dying in the room beside mine and I felt like.... weird because of it. It didn’t feel right, that he was dying.

When they got me a doctor - after me scaring the shit out of a nurse who I thought was a doctor (i still cringe at the memory) - he ws really nice. He was wearing a haiwaiian shirt and was supposed to be going home, and I was quite lucky that they’d caught him as he was leaving.

They got me on some nitrous oxide to calm me down, or to take the pain away.

Now here’s where thigns get a little less linear, I think.

I can’t remember when they put the I.V. in, whether it was before or after the x-ray. The x-ray was hell, because they made me put my munted arm flat on the cold surface of whatever the fuck they were using for the xray. I had dropped the nitrous oxide tube thingy out of my mouth at that point.

The nitrous oxide was nice. It made me feel tired, and when the dude stuck the needle in my arm and then put the I.V. in, I didn’t care about it. I hadn’t been worried before, perse, just uncomfortable because of the whole broken wrist dealie.

Anyway. X-rays. They said I’d broken the tip off my radius. Then the I.V. Then they got an anathesiologist to come in and explain what was going to happen to me.

This whole time they’d explain exactly what they were going to do, because I asked. A lot. I needed to know what was happening so that then I would know what was going on and that was jus tme reiterating what I’d just said ahaha

Anyway. He explained the options, and in the end they decided to give me ketamine.

For those who don’t know, ketamine is a horse tranquilizer. Its also fucking nasty, coming back up from it.

Mum signed a waiver stating that the hospital wasn’t responsible if I died or something.

This was because, as they explained, ketamine shuts off a part of the brain. If too much of it is used, then you die because it shuts off your breathing, your heart, etc. They had shit that would stop that, if anything bad happened. They put electrodes on me at one point. At least, I think that’s what they were called.

They also might’ve upped the dosage, because what could’ve happened was that they fucked up setting my arm the first time, and they had to cut it out and redo it. If they’d redone it, I’d’ve had to go into theatre.

The whole time this was happening I was terrified I was going to out myself to my mum. I have an odd track record of saying weird shit randomly while I’m in pain.

Ketamine also takes you into a dreamland, which is why drug addicts can get addicted. You basically lucid dream, but way more intensely than normal, if you’ve ever ahd a lucid dream. Or it can take you into an absolutely hellish nightmare scape, if you aren’t thinking good things when you go under.

I had neither. I didn’t even know I’d gone under. What happpened was that they put the ketamine in the I.V., and a minute late I was out.

It felt like blinking. When I opened my eyes, it was like in movies where they blink and its a new scene each time.

Blink. They were moving me to the x-ray. My head ached. My eyes wouldn’t focus. Someone was talking about their car.

Blink. They were moving my arm.

Blink. They were moving me back to the room I’d been in.

Every time I moved my head, it just. It was on another side. I couldn’t focus my eyes for three quarters of an hour. I felt tired, and sleepy, and like shit.

Thye got me to sit up at one point. I nearly vomited. They gave me a pill. It was chalky and the taste was nasty.

When they got me to move from the bed to a chair, I vomited.

I hadn’t eaten for longer than six hours, at that point. It was bile coming up. It burnt my throat. I couldn’t stop.

When I forced myself to breathe again and stop vomiting, they gave me water and left me for a minute. They had people they needed to get in the room, I think, so I was trying to move. They got me into a chair in a bit that was in between the x-ray room and where I’d been. Mum talked with someone else who was there with her daughter.

The cast was big and white, because of the type of break. It was heavy and they put me in a sling when I left. I was able to walk straight. They’d been concerned I wouldn’t be. I’m pretty sure I thanked everyone who’d helped, if I saw them.

Mum took me to get subway. Then we went home.

My sibling had broken their arm around about a year and two weeks before I’d broken mine. Their’s had been the two bones in their lower arm. They’d had to go into theatre for it and have trauma around it. My parents won’t get them to go to therapy and they won’t go willingly

When I got home, they had a panic attack or some shit and started screaming at me when I was short at them. Fuck them for that.

I went into a room and started messaging my friends. i videocalled them and showed them my arm. i was acting all stupid and weird about it by being really silly and stuff. I didn’t feel like any of it was happening, even though I knew it was. At some point I found out I had the electrode thingies still on me. I pulled them off.

People were so concerned about me, it was weird. I ended up responding to them individually as opposed to not. Someone thought that it was a joke and that everyone was lying about it. I gave them a play-by-play and they believed it then.

Even weeks after it happened, it still felt vaguely not real. The first time I cried about it was seven days after, when I tried and failed to make homemade macaroni and cheese.

I learnt that the chunk of bone beside the wrist - the one down at the top of the ulna - had completely seperated from the rest of the bone.

All the wrist bones and muscles had pulled back, which was my wrist had been so weird.

Everyone who helped me was really nice. I’m glad that they were nice, because I got told later about doctors who were bitches and were in the emergency department. Also got told that ketamine was really fucking weird for them to be giving me.

I got prescribed Tramadol. Mum and dad wouldn’t let me take any of it. my sibling had been prescribed it when they’d broken their arm. they’d taken it. Apparently tramadol can put you in a depressive state.

i don’t know what would’ve happened to me if I’d taken it at that point. even before the arm my head was in a bad place. I’m better now though.

I pushed through the pain on panadol.

I broke my arm on a friday. saturday, sunday, I spent at home. Monday I went to school. Felt like passing out at some point.

Yeah, that’s basically what happened when I broke my arm

#i needed to type it out idk why #rant #this wasn't traumatic but it was #idk man #this happened last year and i just. My left wrist is now still the crunchiest part fo my body.

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

Note

How do you think Magnus told Alec he had a son? Magnus in the middle of the date, so you know that vampire who’s home you broke into while murdering his friends, yeah that one, well funny story... honestly I’m imagining it kind of cracky but it has the potential to be really angsty as well. Feel no pressure to respond if you’re busy but I just really love Magnus and Raphael and you’re one of the few blogs I know that doesn’t characterise them in a bunch of barely concealed racist stereotypes

im never too busy for magnus and raphael asks 👀👀👀 i might take a while to respond (usually with asks i like a lot djdndjdn) but i always love getting asks and answering them, so dont worry about that. especially magnus & raphael asks!!!!!!! they are everything i want out of life

also im happy to hear u like my characterisation of them but yeah this fandom is hell. and trying to think about ppl who post about them frequently and that i trust i was like "bruh there's so little" but anygays @luxxmagnus @maiaisbia (aurora_chiroptera on ao3) @some-thrilling-heroics (yellow_craion on ao3. to be fair she's been more into the old guard lately but still worth a follow) are all mag&raph enthusiasts with good content. @magnusraphaelmaia is basically a reblog blog but it has good shit as well. and those are the ones that come to mind daisndaidas if yall have any other recs im all for it

as for the actual question! oof. idk. id usually say that it’s probably on his clave file, but that’s actually implied to not be true (which makes sense since it was kind of risky for raphael to be camille’s second-in-command if she knew that she was magnus’ son and how much she could use them against each other and just generally not trust raphael, which kind of fucked up his ‘overthrowing her’ plans), since izzy didn’t know about their relationship and neither did simon, or anyone else that i can think of. (and like simon is nosy and literally lived with the vampires so it doesn’t make any sense for him to be like “what is raphael doing here??” when he got into magnus’ house unless it was some kind of secret). and alec also didn’t understand why magnus defended raphael with the whole yin fen thing which also points in that direction

i mean to be fair it could be just that he was overtaken with Rage and Big Brother Instincts, but i do actually think it hadn’t come up before. so probably after that? i actually don’t remember whether or not magnus and alec talked about that whole thing or if it was just swept under the rug as usual, i have a vague feeling that it was mentioned, but i might be wrong. either way i would have loved to see them talking about it. it would probably come in the form of a dramatic revelation like “izzy is my family!” “and raphael is mine”. or maybe magnus got into how raphael would never use izzy or lure her into addiction because he’s also struggled with that (you know a random moment of ooc bull nobody ever talks about? magnus buying the idea that the yin fen thing was on raphael without a second thought. he was all but angry with raphael and that pisses me the FUCK off, because even if it was raphael’s fault - and it wasn’t - he still would?? trust his son enough to ask him about it??? but FUCK logic in this house) and he’s been clean for decades

and alec listens to it all with that frown of his that he has when he’s trying to figure something out, and then, when magnus is done, alec is all like “how do you know all this?” and magnus sighs and is like “because i was the one who rescued him. i watched it all, alexander. i know raphael would never do that to someone. even when he was at his lowest, he never wanted to hurt anybody”

and alec has that moment of “ah shit i just punched my possible future son-in-law hmmm that’s a problem” and like, look, izzy has many many faults, especially in her relationship with raphael and all the SHIT she did to him, but villainizing him is not one of them. literally the second she had just been caught and was high af and probably knew she would be into some kind of trouble she yelled “alec, it was not his fault!” so i think she would tell him what happened. maybe wouldn’t straight up admit she was the one who got him hooked, but definitely tell him that raphael had nothing to do with this and if anything he ended up in the story because he tried to protect her. which is something he did out of pure selflessness since they were like, literally enemies up to that point

anyway i’m going too deep into my yin fen rant but LOOK I HATE HOW THAT PLOTLINE WAS HANDLED I HATE IT. FUCK VILLAINIZING RAPHAEL FOR THE YIN FEN 20FOREVER. but my POINT is, after that, alec apologizes to raphael eventually, and magnus heals raphael’s wounds, and they both focus on taking care of their respective families as they are BOTH struggling with addiction god fucking damn it they literally ignored raphael trying to come clean! for the second time! fuck this! anyway the point is that at least raphael has gone through this before so he knows it’s possible to pull through, but also, he’s gone through this before so it’s fucking humiliating to go through it again and he needs emotional support, okay?

and alec probably tries to awkwardly help magnus take care of raphael in a very earnest but “hm” way because this whole thing is a mess lmao. and slowly they start to mend that? and alec makes sure magnus knows that this would never be a drawback to him because if anything he loves how caring and generous magnus is? yeah. and i guess that’s my take on how that would come up diahduisa

#anti izzy lightwood #i guess #sh #raphael santiago #magnus bane #alec lightwood #izzy lightwood #shadowhunters #brotp: i'll do whatever it takes to protect them #malec #lightwood siblings #addiction tw #salt #anti sh writers

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magniloquent-raven · 4 years

Note

Number 73 "take mine" I'm thinking jacket sharing with Harringrove (either offering the jacket) if you have time!! 💖 💖

so. it’s not jacket sharing, i hope that’s okay!! and it’s actually a sequel to your first prompt? @bambixxblue and i were talking about a fix-it sequel where billy comes back and im weak for fix-its so i ended up with this. it’s. angsty. but also. soft? idk, i hope u like it anyway!!

basically the premise is billy and hopper were both in russia and had to break out together. posted on ao3

—-

Max turned seventeen three weeks ago. It’s hard to keep track of the days sometimes but Billy’s pretty sure he’s right. It’s hard to wrap his brain around Max being seventeen. When he pictures her in his head she’s still a bratty twelve-year-old with skinned knees who doesn’t know when to shut her mouth.

He tells Hop. Tells him about the birthdays he was there for, wonders about the ones he wasn’t. Cries a little too. Funny how easy it is to do that now. It used to be an ordeal, would burn and claw at him until he broke. He’s too exhausted for that nowadays, lets his tears fall unfettered and ignores the shame that still sneaks up on him when he does.

They have to be quiet, always afraid of being caught again. Billy’s constantly looking over his shoulder, jumping at shadows. It’s stupid to risk it, for something so trivial, but he can’t stop the words from spilling out.

“You miss her.” It’s not a question. Hop doesn’t ask that kind of shit, he just knows. Which is why Billy doesn’t respond. Doesn’t have to.

He pats Billy’s shoulder awkwardly. It’s the clumsy kind of affection a father is supposed to offer and it sets Billy off again, tears dripping down his nose and cutting streaks through the dirt smeared on his cheeks.

They’re holed up in an abandoned warehouse this time. Waiting. Always waiting. The plan is to stow away in the next cargo hold with enough space but in the meantime they’re fugitives, laying low wherever they can find empty, forgotten places.

Hop tells him about El while they wait. Billy’s heard most of his stories by now, but he listens anyway. Listens to the wobble in his voice as he talks about teaching El to read, hears the question under it all, about whether he’ll ever see her again.

Billy wishes he had an answer.

The first time Billy set foot in Hawkins, Indiana, he was seventeen, angry and wanting nothing more than to be anywhere else.

It’s three days after his twenty-second birthday the second time. An icy December evening, dark and windy. He’s exhausted. He hasn’t eaten in two days. He’s a patchwork tapestry of scars that weren’t there before, a battered effigy of the person he used to be, cobbled together with scraps of what he could salvage.

Hawkins is the same unremarkable, rinky-dink town it always was. Seeing it again is a relief and a punch in the gut all at once. It’s all he’s wanted for three years, but it’s terrifying.

They end up in Loch Nora, of all places. The Byers’ old house was empty, and going too far into town is risky.

It doesn’t feel real. Standing on Steve Harrington’s front porch, suddenly all too aware of the layer of sweat and grime on his skin. This place is too clean, too quiet. Peaceful, in a way that can’t be true.

Billy chews on his thumbnail, stands behind Hopper while he bangs on the door. There are no cars in the driveway, which means at the very least Steve’s parents won’t answer the door. But there’s no guarantee that Steve even lives here anymore.

He’s getting antsy, glancing around, heart pounding.

Then the door swings open.

Billy is seventeen, half-drunk and stinking like beer, colder than he’ll let on because fucking Indiana and its shitty weather, wiping the drool from his chin when he spots him across a room, already half in love by the time he’s clambered over a couch to get a closer look.

He blinks. He’s twenty-two, pale and shivering, thumbnail still between his teeth, and Steve Harrington’s doe eyes still make him weak in the knees.

Steve’s hair is longer, brushing his shoulders, but other than that he doesn’t look any different. Except that he isn’t looking at Billy with thinly veiled contempt or anger.

“Hey, kid.” Hopper says. “Gonna let us inside, or what?”

Steve is silent. Staring, lips parted. One hand still on the doorknob, the other slack at his side. He sways dangerously, and Billy tenses, prepared to catch him if he falls over. He doesn’t, but Billy’s still itching to touch him.

“Am I dreaming?” Steve blurts, looking dazed, unable to decide who to look at and ending up unfocused and hazy.

Yeah, it’s me, don’t cream your pants. The memory feels like someone else’s. A lifetime ago.

Billy bites down on his lip, battling an inexplicable, and slightly hysterical, urge to laugh.

“Dream about me often, Harrington?” Billy says, because apparently it takes more than nearly dying and spending three years as a fugitive to get over his inability to keep his mouth shut around pretty boys (or one in particular). Though now his voice comes out soft, quiet, betraying genuine sentiment. He’s not sure if that’s better or worse than the armor of taunts he used to cover that shit up with.

Probably worse.

Steve’s looking at him. Only him. Billy had almost forgotten how addictive that is. He watches Steve’s mouth open and close, tracks the way one corner curls up a little when he lets out a little disbelieving huff that isn’t quite a laugh. “More than you’d think,” he murmurs.

And Billy’s brain shuts off. There are a thousand questions stuck up there, but he can’t get a single one of them out because he’s too busy trying to get past, more than you’d think, echoing through his head in surround sound.

He’s startled out of his Steve-induced haze by Hopper’s pointed cough.

It seems like he’s not the only one, because Steve visibly flinches, “Right, shit,” he stammers, “Get—uh, get inside.” He ushers them in, glancing around, checking the street behind them.

The Harrington residence is one of those big fancy houses with more rooms than anyone could possibly need, but that means multiple bathrooms so Steve (as politely as possible) tells them they can both shower whenever they feel like it. And he fusses. A lot. All nervous hands clutching his elbows and teeth worrying at the inside of his cheek, eyes darting between Billy and Hopper like he’s sure they’ll vanish any second and never have been there at all.

Billy isn’t sure how to deal with it, so he avoids his eyes. Then misses looking at him.

An hour later they’re all in the kitchen. Billy keeps plucking at the sleeve of his borrowed sweatshirt, trying to keep calm. It’s too much, all at once. His skin feels raw, weird and tight. The overhead light is too bright, and the smell of Steve on everything is making him lightheaded. The soft detergent scent from his clothes, the shampoo Billy used when he showered (his hair is a lot longer than it used to be, it took forever to detangle it all).

Steve makes some calls. It’s late, too late to be calling people’s houses but he does it anyway.

Not long after, the front door bursts open.

Max is taller than he remembers. Rougher around the edges. Her hair is a choppy mess, auburn waves sticking out in every direction, curling around her ears, and there’s the sharp glimmer of silver in one lobe. She’s wearing a jean jacket with a torn elbow.

And she’s crying, messy and red-eyed, not bothering to wipe the snot from her nose.

“Where. The fuck. Have you been?” she sobs, shoulders shaking, and she practically trips forward in her hurry to throw her arms around Billy’s neck.

He opens his mouth. Closes it again. Feels unsteady, like he’ll fall to pieces if he moves wrong.

“I’m here now,” is all he can manage. She doesn’t need to hear about military hospitals and Russian prisons, about being kept in a cell, wondering if he’d ever see sunlight again… She doesn’t need that right now. Hell, he’s not ready to talk about it. Might never be.

He hugs her back, torn between wanting to squeeze as hard as he can, make sure she’s real, and being terrified of breaking her.

She still uses that shitty coconut-scented soap, and that’s what shatters him. He’s crying into her shoulder, clutching the back of her jacket. He used to dwarf her, remembers her being tiny and fragile, despite her fierceness, yet now she’s supporting his weight while he buckles.

They’ve never actually hugged before, he realizes, and that realization opens a door he wishes he could’ve left closed a little longer.

Guilt. Like undertow, pulling him back to harsh reality, cold steel gripping his heart, weighing it down. He should’ve been better. Treated her better. And now she’s here, crying like she actually missed him, and he doesn’t deserve it.

He pulls away, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes.

She’s still looking at him, hands on his shoulders, a wobbly smile on her face.

Billy is overwhelmed again. It must show, because suddenly Steve is at Max’s side, eyes gentle and his soft mouth pinched in a frown, “Max. Maybe give him some space.”

She clenches her jaw, probably physically holding back an argument, and nods, stepping back despite the reluctance written all over her face.

“I’m sorry,” Billy says, barely louder than a whisper. Then he can’t stop himself from saying it, again and again, gaze fixed on the floor, tears still dripping down his chin. He has to bite his lip hard enough to draw blood to finally stem the tide of apologies. He squeezes his eyes shut, tries to will the world away.

“Billy.” Steve’s voice is soft. He has a nice voice, so Billy focuses on it, through all the angry buzzing in his ears. “Billy, I need you to nod if you’re listening.” He doesn’t want to, he wants to curl up and fucking die, anything but be a person right now because everything hurts and there isn’t enough air in this room and— “Billy?”

He bows his head, twitches, it’s barely a nod but it’s all he’s got.

“Okay, good. Can I touch your hand?”

Billy’s heart stutters, aches. He’s having a hard time concentrating through the burn in the back of his throat, the static drowning out his thoughts. He nods again.

Steve’s fingers are gentle, pulling Billy’s hand from where it had tangled in his hair. He hadn’t noticed the fingernails digging into his scalp until Steve took one of his hands away. It ends up pressed against something warm, soft material under his fingers, moving slow—oh. His hand is on Steve’s chest.

“Can you breathe with me? Concentrate on me, okay?”

He does.

Steve’s cradling his hand. He’s got callouses along the top of his palm, barely there but present. He’s breathing deep, calm and steady. But despite his outward demeanour his heart is racing, Billy can feel it through his shirt. He curls his fingers into the sensation, fingertips digging in as far as he can push them.

Billy almost forgets to breathe he’s so fixated on Steve’s heartbeat.

It does its job either way though, because exhaustion is starting to hit him as the static recedes. He sags, relaxes. Every muscle in his body feels leaden.

He opens his eyes, squints against the sudden light.

He’s almost afraid to look up. Afraid of being judged, of triggering another episode, so fucking terrified, all the time—

“Billy?”

His fingers twitch reflexively, tightening his grip on Steve’s polo.

“You good?” His voice is still so soft, and so close it hurts.

It takes several long moments for Billy to collect himself. Then he looks up.

Max is hovering, standing behind Steve with wide eyes, her worry palpable. Hopper looks grim, but then again, he kind of always does. He’s a respectable distance away, watching. And Steve… Steve is right there still, holding Billy’s hand and looking at him like he cares, doe eyes shining, fixed on Billy’s face.

“I’m okay,” Billy says, voice rough. He sounds like hell, but they all visibly relax anyway.

The room is silent for too long after that. It feels tense in a distant way, like it would be awkward if Billy had the energy to care, was awake enough to feel anything but vaguely fuzzy. He’s still got a handful of shirt and doesn’t plan on letting go any time soon. Steve’s the only thing keeping him upright, and he hasn’t let go either.

“Did… did I do something wrong?” Max asks, her voice is small and tremulous and cuts right through Billy.

“No!” he’s quick to cut in, “No. Max. It’s…” Billy trembles, stutters to a stop. He has no idea how to explain, even to himself, let alone Max. Steve squeezes his hand. His stomach flips. “It’s not your fault.”

She doesn’t look like she believes him, but she doesn’t argue. He wishes he could make it better, but he’s got no idea how.

“We should all get some sleep,” Steve says.

And that’s that. His tone brooks no argument, even in a room full of stubborn assholes. Apparently, the past few years have given Steve time to hone his babysitting skills. Or maybe they’re all just as exhausted as Billy is.

There’s some squabbling about sleeping arrangements though.

Everyone insists Hopper take the master bedroom, Steve says his parents won’t know or care, his old friends did worse than sleep in that bed. They all poke at him until he relents and trudges off, bidding them a quiet goodnight.

Then Billy says he’ll take the couch and both Steve and Max yell at him.

Billy rolls his eyes. “It’s fine, guys,” he mutters. He’s not about to make Max sleep on the weird little couch (he’s done enough to her already) and putting Steve out in his own house would be shitty. “It’s not like I haven’t slept on worse.” He winces as he says it, realizing as the words come out of his mouth that it’s probably the wrong thing to say. It was meant as a reassurance, that he would in fact be fine with the couch, because at least it’s clean and warm, but all it does is make Max look sad and put a little wrinkle between Steve’s eyebrows.

“I’ve slept on this couch before,” Max says, a stubborn tilt to her jaw, “I’ll take it.”

Steve scoffs at that, “You complain every time you have to sleep on that couch, Max. Take the guest bed. Billy can take mine.” His fingers tense when he says it, and Billy realizes they’re still holding hands. His hand slipped from Steve’s shirt while they were bullying Hopper into taking the master suite, but Steve has yet to let go.

And… suddenly he wants nothing more than to sleep in Steve’s bed. But. “Only if you come with me,” he blurts.

Which is really not how he should have said that, but it’s out there now.

“Oh my god,” he hears Max mutter.

His whole head feels like it’s on fire. “Shit. I—I mean—”

“Okay,” Steve says hurriedly, then clears his throat, “Yeah. That. That works. Uh. Okay.” He’s glancing at Max awkwardly, nervous, but she just rolls her eyes. Billy barely notices her do it, too busy looking at Steve, his heart hammering.

“Steve, it’s okay. I’m—” It’s her turn to look uncertain, but it’s only for a second. “Me and El are dating. We’ve been trying to figure out how to tell everyone, and—yeah. Anyway. I’m not going to judge you, or whatever.”

Well, that was not at all what Billy was expecting. He takes a moment to worry about both of them, be terrified of what would happen to them if someone found out. Then he remembers that El can kill people with her brain and Max once threatened to castrate him with a spiked bat. The knot of anxiety doesn’t dissipate but he’s freaking out less.

“How long has that been going on?” Steve asks, sounding more bemused than anything.

Max turns pink, and it’s kind of fascinating to watch. She’s flustered. That’s adorable. “Since, um. Since April.”

“Happy for you, kid,” Billy says. And he means it. He barely knows El, in theory, but really. The kid’s been in his head. He could recite every story Hopper’s told him about her from memory. He died protecting her.

He knows her well enough to know she’s good for Max, and he loves Max enough to want her to have good things.

She grins, bright and real. Billy’s fairly certain he’s never seen her that happy before, and his heart clenches.

“I’m not sure who I’m supposed to give the shovel talk to here,” Steve says, more to himself than anything.

Billy snickers, and tugs on Steve’s hand, “Like you could take either of them.”

Steve steps closer, looking faux-offended, “I’ll have you know I won a fight once.”

“Yeah, three years ago. You’re a has-been, Harrington,” Max chimes in.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“I’m seventeen, dingus.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Robin.”

He missed them so much. Missed something he, if he’s being honest with himself, never really had in the first place. They both hated his guts before, and he… he was a mess. Still is. Just a different kind now. But being here, being part of this, is something he always on some level wanted and…

“Oh my god, Billy, are you okay?” Max asks, concern bleeding into her voice.

He’s crying again, smiles through the tears. “Yeah. Yeah I am.”

#steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #harringrove fic #a raven's writing desk #i kind of want more to this #like #el didn't even SHOW P #UP*#but it's almost 2am #rn #and #this is already so long lmao

136 notes · View notes

hwangskz · 4 years

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in another life (pt. 1) | soulmate! minho

part 1 of the uwma! au series !!!! i was so excited to get this up bcs, if u hadn't realised alrdy, i LOVE uwma with my entire heart :( (ps if any of u watch any bls or even just uwma pls hmu thank u) and pls read this post b4 or after ur done reading this fic so u don't get confused in the next part!! +++ tw suicide !

• "y/n….do u like him?"

• ur automatically reminded of the time u first met

• u remember it as clear as day

• u both had taken film as ur major and on the first day, ur college held a lil gathering

• u picked up the nearest headband and read it's label

• 'belle'

• so….were u supposed to find ur beast now???? JSGSSHE THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID

• BUT UR RUNNING OUT OF TIME !!!!!!

• "10 seconds to find ur partner!!!!"

• u looked around bcs u were NOT standing in front of that huge crowd, later trying to find ur partner

• when a boy caught ur eyes

• he stood on the side, his hand limply holding the blue headband as he looked around

• and he looked ?? sad :( ??

• "last 5 seconds!!!"

• u turned around one last time and ?? EVERYONE HAD FOUND THEIR PARTNERS ALREADY??

• so u RAN towards that boy

• and caught him off guard as u pulled him down to sit on the ground as the announcer continued talking and giving out future tasks

• "hey."

• "???"

• wow this boy is worse than YOU at communicating

• "are u sure we're partners??"

• "..."

• "right, yea. i was the one who dragged u..haha..sorry.."

• so u pulled his hand up to view his headband

• 'prince adam'

• u probably looked really confused rn bcs u just made the guy speak up

• "beast."

• u looked up, OBVIOUSLY confused

• this new voice box working??? wonder whose it is

• ":o huh?????"

• he sighed and held it up for u

• thank u nameless boy bcs ur hands kinda WERE getting tired JDKHD

• "prince adam is the real name of the prince in disney's beauty and the beast."

• ":OOO REALLY???? wait but how do u know"

• "..... google?"

• "... RIGHT sorry haha"

• even after the lil gathering ended and u got to go to ur class

• ur mind was still thinking abt the guy

• u probably didn't even notice u had entered the class w that DULL ASS look until

• "ouc- WHO THE F-???????"

• "still in ur dreams?? lmao dumbass"

• ":O SHIN RYUJIN"

• "this group needed the following of a sane person so im here too. hello to u too, y/n"

• "MISS YEJI??? PEOPLE THAT I KNOW AND CHERISH????? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚ OMG HELLO TO U TOO"

• and there it was, once again, ryujin trying to get ur over affectionate ass off of her as yeji laughs

• well iN UR DEFENSE, U MISSED UR BEST FRIENDS AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE TERRIFIES U

• and when u take a seat

• u can't help but follow the movements of the boy who enters the class

• his moves aren't rushed; they seem calm. too calm.

• and that's when u hear all the whispers around u

• "is that blood on his shirt? is he already following in his dad's footsteps?"

• ‘what footsteps?’

• "i heard he dragged his partner today for the freshman gathering today?"

• ‘but i was the one who dragged him..then how-’

• "y/n?"

• "h-huh?"

• yeji's third call woke u up from ur train of thoughts

• "are u ok?"

• "yea.. i'm fine. dw!!"

• "see i told u they’re thinking abt their fantasy boys and/or girls again it's fine"

• "WH- EXCUSE ME I DON'T FANTASISE!!!!!"

• "yes y/n l/n i totally believe that"

• "SHUT UP RYUJIN"

• ur group's laughters echo in the room, along w the other friend groups'

• except for that boy who now sits in front of u

• u wonder if he's waiting for his friends

• but they never seem to show up

• even though it's alrdy been over 5 months now

• and that pretty boy in front of u is DISTRACTING u from the lesson (๑•ૅㅁ•๑) !!!!!

• and this one particular day..yeji and ryujin were absent..

• so u were kinda lonely anyways

• and hearing ppl continue to whisper abt that guy..it made u wanna talk to him again

• u don't know exactly why ?? but u did

• so u gathered up ur stuff from ur desk

• and sat at the desk next to his

• and immediately u could hear the whispers getting a bit louder

• and he ducked his head and turned towards u

• and u decided to ignore those words, and looked at him, with a bright smile on ur face

• "don't worry about them. i'm here now."

• it was something abt u

• something abt those words that made him feel some type of way

• he took in a deep breath as he looked down and then looked at u again

• "......thank you, i guess"

• u nodded and he turned towards his work

• a small smile on his face

• he had found someone

• "so?"

• ryujin asked u, bringing u back from ur flashback

•"yea..i think so.."

• yeji and ryujin sighed

• ur mind : ALERT

• IS IT BAD??? THAT U LIKE HIM???? (๑´╹‸╹`๑) ??

• "y/n...do u not know abt him..?"

• "(o゜ー゜o)??"

• they share a Look and turn towards u, worried looks on their faces

• OK YEA IT PROBABLY IS,,

• "he's the son of a mafia... that's why ppl talk abt him in such..hushed tones..and basically isolate him"

• "and look y/n..we know that isolating him is truly bad, but maybe get a little away? from him? what if u get involved in smthg bad?"

• u...ur honestly a lil shocked

• not fully by the news that his dad is a mafia

• but by the fact that they think something bad can happen when ur with him

• with HIM

• "but it's his dad who is a mafia. he's not at all like that !! he's a bit shy, and is just scared to express himself. and don't worry, yeji. i am not going to get myself in trouble"

• they muttered an "okay" and leaned back against their chairs again

• "but wait.."

• ryujin spoke up again

• "when did u even hangout w him? enough to, well, get feelings for him?"

• "uh well..that day both of u were absent, i went and sat w him in class..then shared some of my lunch w him when i saw him on the rooftop..and kind of having been bringing him lunch and staying w him..during that time.."

• they laughed, and u could feel the tension easing away

• "never knew y/n's a dom lmao"

• "they seem like a switch tho"

• "SHUT UP"

• and so u did join the guy

• (who's name u had learned to be lee minho)

• whenever u found him to be lonely

• and even tho minho seemed to be against the whole idea of u joining him all the time

• trust me he's a whole softie inside

• he just ;;;; he gets so happy whenever u come by

• and not just bring him lunch

• and not only during lunch breaks

• but all the time

• whenever he passes by u

• u always greet him, and

• wave at him and u just feel like a shield from everyone and all the bad things everyone says and he just

• he can't thank u enough

• but it's not just that

• and he knows that

• even when he sees u coming towards him in the library

• sneaking in some food bcs it IS lunch

• so technically u ARE supposed to bring him food

• "hey !! :D"

• u take the chair in front of him

• and take out the food, both of urs, and shove his one towards him

• "WHY-"

• minho shushes u and u turn around to look if u made anyone else angry

• and perhaps...... u DID.... AJSBBE

• so u just duck ur head as an apology and the furious students go back to studying

• "why are u studying rn???? it's lunch!!!!!"

• "ok and??"

• "rest is important!!"

• "what makes u think i haven't rested enough alrdy?"

• "well i've seen u w the book the ENTIRE DAY ??"

• minho sighs, but then perks his head up

• "u..u watch me..?"

• "!! im not a STALKER-"

• minho shushes u again and ur pretty sure the other students r staring daggers at u rn JDVSJE

• "-im not a stalker,, ur in my class.. right in front of me.."

• minho chuckles silently at ur words

• "sure"

• u were flustered until u realised u just

• u just made the biggest tsundere chuckle

• c h u c k l e

• "did u just …….. chuckle at me…….."

• minho looked down, scared to meet ur eyes bcs shit ur rite

• "no…….what makes u think that………"

• u giggle at his failed attempt to delete that successful moment from ur memory

• minho smiles a little

• he was so happy

• even tho it was abt u

• even tho u had made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that u like him

• like at random times u would be like

• "damn i can't believe i fell for u"

• or

• "oh good lord!! i always try to hangout w the guy i like but he pretends to not like spending time with me!!!!!!! what did i do to deserve this !!!!!!"

• and in these situations what does minho do??

• LAUGH .

• he LAUGHS

• just a bit bcs he's still under that tsundere cover JSGSJSB

• but like !!!!!!! in his defense !!!!!!!

• HE DIDNT KNOW IF U TRULY MEANT IT !!!!!!!

• MAYBE U LIKE HIM JUST AS A FRIEND !!!!!!!!!!!!

• AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN THIS FRIENDSHIP !!!!!!!!

• that too w his first ever friend..................

• little did he know he was truly so engrossed in his thoughts that he had stopped eating and had been staring at the sky above for like ??? more than 5 mins now ??

• "MINHO ???????"

• he flinched and moved away a bit at the sound of ur voice suddenly piercing his thoughts

• "w-what"

• "bitch i thought u died or smthg...u have been staring above for so long pretty sure some flies even touched ur food and it's now UNHYGIENIC"

• his eyes met urs and, as if he got some idea, he suddenly kept his lunch box away to look at u

• "wait im pretty sure the flies didn't sit on the food!!!! it was a joke-"

• minho exhaled loudly before he spoke

• "y/n?"

• "yes…?"

• "can i ask u smthg…..?"

• "sure!!"

• minho inhaled sharply before continuing

• "do u ever feel uncomfortable? when ur with me?"

• u thought for a while, before giving him a smile and answering him

• "why would i? idk if ur referring to the rumors here...or if they're supposed to be involved here but...they don't affect me. firstly, i don't even know if ur dad truly is a part of the mafia-"

• "he is."

• minho was staring at u intently, wondering how u'll respond to this

• "well, uh, nice for him? i guess? but it's him right? not u? then there's nothing to worry about."

• minho shook his head as he tried to look anywhere but at u

• "but what if u ever get in trouble? bcs of me?"

• "that's on me. not u. and if it's through u, or if u ever get in trouble or smthg-"

• u picked his hand up, holding it tightly, which seemed to catch him off guard

• "-i will protect u."

• he could do nothing but give u a soft smile, before turning his head away

• and so did u bcs damn y/n since when did u become so confident huh JDVSJE

• so u decided to go for it

• "y/n, will u be my partne-"

• u gently pecked his lips before moving away real QUICK JSGEJE

• WAS HE ABT TO CONFESS ???????????

• WHY ARE HIS EYES WIDENED LIKE THAT?????????? DID U

• OH NO U DID SOMETHING WRONG DIDN'T U

• "i-i'm sorry….i didn't mean to-"

• and u looked up in time, only to see minho leaning in, before he connected his lips to urs

• it was a slow kiss

• it took u a while to get the fact into ur head that he's right here

• he is kissing u

• and so u snaked ur arms across his shoulders, as he held u tight, even closer

• and when u both pulled away

• both of u were flushed red

• and it did feel kinda quiet so u just

• "damn im glad we have lunch on the rooftop, huh"

• minho chuckled as he moved away

• "kinda ….. yes"

• and so for the next months u continued to tease him with this JDGSJS

• even tho yall are technically dating now uwu

• but he never tells u he likes u

• which is : frustrating

• bcs u !!!!!! UR THE BIGGEST OVERTHINKER EVER !!!!!!

• ENOUGH TO WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP !!!!!!!!!

• and the fact that EVEN THO he's ur bf and u KNOW it, u continue to be curious if he even likes u :(

• so u just slam ur spoon on the table

• which makes him look up

• "what? is the ramen too spicy?"

• u shoot ur head towards him, a pout on ur face

• "do u like me?"

• ".........what"

• JSHSKWKKW

• Y/N PLS

• "u never….u have never said u like me…...and yea sure im not supposed to question this bcs ur my boyfriend and i know that but im sorry i overthink alot and it's just me saying i like u all the time but not u and i just can't help but-"

• "i …….. i like."

• "huh?"

• u shoot ur head upwards at minho, who now gets up to keep his empty bowl in ur kitchen sink, with a grin along ur face

• "u heard me."

• and u wish u could still be as happy as u were on this day

• when he first confessed

• well, half-confessed

• but u couldn't be

• even as he stood in front of u, saying that he loves u

• and he's grateful for u

• u couldn't stop the tears that continued to stream down ur cheeks

• ur eyes could only focus on the gun that he held right beside his temple

• his dad used to send people behind minho whenever u two went on a date

• "he wants me to go on w his job after he resigns" minho had once told on one of ur dates

• "do u want to?"

• "no, obviously-"

• he held ur hand in his

• "i want to be with u"

• then why

• why was he standing there, with that gun

• that stupid gun aimed at his temple?

• today while u had closed ur eyes, wishing for something, like minho had told u when he brought that birthday cake for u out of nowhere while u and minho were having ur date

• u opened ur eyes when u heard a muffled voice screaming loudly

• only to find it was minho's

• which confused u when u saw the hand covering his mouth

• but surprised u, when u saw his dad standing right behind him

• he kept pulling minho away from u

• minho yelled, tried to free himself away

• but couldn't

• until u yelled at his dad to stop

• and minho dropped on the ground, with his wrists red from being grasped so tightly

• u went on and on abt how he has made minho feel and what minho truly wants

• u had shut ur eyes out of fear

• but u had opened them to see what minho truly wants

• death ;

• an escape

• from all of this

• and so he spoke one more time

• "y/n. remember, i love you, okay? i….i'll always keep my promise."

• and then, a gunshot.

• u weren't sure if time had stopped or if it was just u frozen

• but u could only hear a beep sound going in ur ears as his body dropped on the ground

• limp.

• and at once u leapt towards him, sobbing, u fell to ur knees, ur hands grazing his cheeks and gently hitting his chest

• "y/n…. i don't know how to go on…"

• he had told u this months ago, when u guys had been dating for abt 5 months then

• "minho, we'll always be together, no matter what. i, at least, will be there for u, always."

• minho had looked at u with tears in his eyes

• he rlly was so stupidly in love w u

• "but what if i...die...someday?"

• u sighed and turned to look at the night sky

• at least none of his dad's assistants had found out abt ur place yet

• (thankfully)

• u turned to look at him again

• "then...i'll die too."

• so that's what u were gonna do

• u searched for the pistol, as u blinked several times to focus properly

• when u finally found it, ur hands shakily reached for it

• and then as u aimed it at ur own temple

• the last part of that conversation popped into ur head again

• "then, will we meet each other in next life?"

• minho thought abt it for a few secs

• "probably"

• u nodded

• "i once heard that...when u fall for someone at first sight, it probably just means that we're recognising our partner's soul from our past life….do u think that will happen w us? do u think we'll…. we'll recognise each other?"

• "...i hope so…."

• u both let out a stifled laugh

• and so u stick ur pinky finger out, asking for his

• "minho."

• "yes?"

• "promise me."

• "promise what?"

• "promise that…...that we'll find each other.."

• minho was abt to argue w u but seeing ur lil pout

• he had no choice but to agree

• "promise."

• and so, another gunshot was heard.

48 notes · View notes

seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana · 4 years

Text

@megatraven

IM IN THE CAR AND HAVE AN IDEA (I’m not driving just waiting for my brother to get out of his appointment).

OKAY. I was listening to “Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur right?? AND THEN I WAS LIKE “OH ALEX IDEA!!”

Also I forgot the 5 year age gap so they’d be like 21 if she was 16...so let’s forget the 5 year age gap...alright? Alright.

The opening line says,

“I met you in the dark,” and after a few lines it says, “We danced the night away, we drank too much.” And I was like what if,,,when Alex had a fake ID when they were being Edgy™️ as a teenager, what if MC was also doing that? What if they didn’t know each other yet (somehow Idk) and like, they were at a bar, just drinking and looking around. Suddenly, they hear a beautiful voice singing in the karaoke machine. They look to it and they see one of the most beautiful woman that they’ve seen in their life. She shined brighter than everyone else.

They knew she was wasted. Her voice was a little slurry, but it still sounded beautiful when she was singing. They looked at her and when she caught them looking she stopped singing for a second and smiled back (a blush formed on her face too). They kept giving each other glances and smiles and blushes. She was a little anxious to go see them, but when she had enough of singing, she went over to them and they introduced themselves.

“Hi, I’m Alex,” they said, their voice sounded a little more slurred than they wanted to. They were a little uncomfortable around the adults, but by her height and looks, she looked around their age, but they didn’t want to assume. “How old are you?” They ask next.

MC lets out a drink laugh and leans closer to them.

“DonT tEll anYoNe, bUt iM 16! I gOt a fAkE ID!!” She looks a little too excited to be happy about it, basically doing some illegal. But hey, they were doing the same thing.

And I like to imagine she’s only doing this bc of her mother’s death. It’s not rebelling because she couldn’t when her mother was alive, it was because she needed an escape. Just an escape to stop thinking of her mother and to just be happy (but she wasn’t addicted). Alex just wanted to do it to rebel.

“How often do you come here?” Alex would ask, a hiccup in the middle of their sentence.

“It’s my first time! And I probably won’t come back!” Her voice then turned to a sad drunk like voice. She looked down at her hands as she picked her finger nails. She was sitting on the bar stool beside them and they reached over to put a hand on her shoulder (being a little brave there Alex👀). She looked up and saw a worried look on their face.

“What’s wrong?”

MC, being drunk and not thinking straight, she told them everything.

“My mom just died a few months ago. She was an amazing woman, Alex. You have no idea! She worked for this agency with the gods and stuff...and now she’s gone!” Tears fell down MCs face.

I then heard the line, “For a minute I was stone cold sober, I pulled you closer to my chest.”

And Alex pulled her into a hug. If they didn’t know about H.E.R.A, they would’ve called her crazy, but now they know she’s the daughter of H.E.R.A’s CEO (is that what her mom would be called?? Idk if it’s boss or CEO. She basically owns it-). They feel her pain but don’t want to say anything just yet, so they just hug her.

When the nights over, MC gets a little sober and apologizes to being emotional. They laugh and say it’s okay, and they give her their number. They saw a shine in her eyes that night, and when she sobered up, they still saw that shine in her eyes.

Then I heard the line, “I know I needed you, but I never showed.”

So, they wanted to get to know her. Their heart just begged for it. MC agreed and they exchanged numbers.

MC texts Alex the next day, feeling a little giddy. She doesn’t know why she’s so anxious and wants to talk to them so bad, but she just does. She texts them and they text her and it’s going back and forth. Alex tells her that they’re there for emotional comfort if she needs it. She thanks them and takes the opportunity. She doesn’t feel comforted by many people, but Alex just felt...safe. She felt like she could trust them with anything, so she went to them for comfort. And she didn’t feel the want to go back to the bar.

She already had her friend right here and she was fine with that comfort. She didn’t need the comfort of alcohol.

SO, they go out with friends sometimes, they help her with her emotions, and one day MC goes on a date. They’re excited for her and wish her luck, but something just...doesn’t sit tight with them. They don’t think the person is a bad person or anything, they just don’t like the idea of her seeing someone else. They loved making her laugh and weren’t possessive, but they felt the want to be with her all the time. To protect her from the world and make her happy. They pushed off the emotions and everythint for as long as they could, until they told MC that they were a demigod.

MC believed them once they showed her their aura. And it was like she was a little kid again. She was so interested and wanted to play with them (and she did and Alex found it so🥺🥺) and they fell asleep surrounding her one time. Alex’s heart basically ran a marathon in their chest by just looking at her. That’s when they knew they loved her.

I remembered the line, “I knew I loved you then.”

They keep falling in love with her everyday. They see her smile, they see her laugh, and they see her just be happy. It brought a smile to their face. Even if she was with someone, they still loved her and cared for her like a best friend should.

ANd let’s say MC loves the person she’s with...but she’s not sure if it is love. She feels something in her when she looks at her partner, but it’s not something that’s strong. Because when she looks at Alex, she feels something stronger. She feels the same way that they feel, but DOESNT know it and know how if it is love. She’s never been in love before (other than now), so she’s not sure what it feels like.

And MC asks Alex what it’s like to be in love. Alex smiles at her and tells her how they know what Love feels like.

“It’s when you look at someone and you feel like you need them. You feel like you need to see them happy, you need to see them smile all the time, and you want them to be happy no matter what. And it’s when you want to kiss them, hug them, or just be with them. That’s when you know it’s love.”

MC smiles at them and thanks them and then she knows how she feels. She knows she loves them. She knows it deep down and she feels like it’s always been there.

AND THEN ALEX CATCHES MC SINGING ON HER OWN IN HER APARTMENT (or wherever she lives) AND SHES SINGING,

“I knew I loved you then, but you’d never know, ‘cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go. I know I needed you, but I never showed, but I wanna stay with you until we’re gray and old...” and then she gets to the line, “And I’ll thank my lucky stars for that night.” And she whispers, “Alex, I’ll always thank those lucky stars.”

Alex is in just SHOCK. They’re like “she feels the same?” MC doesn’t know they’re there so she keeps singing the lovely song and their heart gets bigger and bigger with every line. They eventually walk to the room she’s in and sing along. She turns around and is shocked and embarrassed. They both have blushes on their face but MC asks them how long they were there. They say,

“I’ve been here ever since that night, MC. And I’ll always be here.”

MC smiles at them and they both confess their feelings. MC breaks up with the person she’s with (saying sorry) and Alex and MC begin dating. I guess you could say the seasons stay the same, but the angst of MC and Alex getting together in their season 1 is gONEEE!! It’s just them solving Deukalion stuff and being sorta happy >:)). S

So Yh that’s my little AU idea. Is it good? Not rlly since I kinda suck at explaining things. But do I rlly like the idea in my head?? YEAHHH. And listen to this song it’s basically Alex or MC singing it and saying how much they love the other:

https://youtu.be/0yW7w8F2TVA

youtube

And here’s a female version of it that I rlly love and imagine MC singing it:

https://youtu.be/8XHKH4CCvHs

youtube

SO YH TAKE THIS IDEA AND I HOPE IT MADE SENSE AND I HOPE YOU LIKED IT :))).

#alex cyprin #astoria fates kiss alex #astoria fates kiss #afk #lovestruck #my writing #i love themmm #and this song is just great!#AND #I’ll make another post of like I did with ‘Death Bed’ ya know #I take the lyrics and put a little idea below them >:))#so yEAHHH #look forward to that #and it might be with this AU but idk #so yEahahah #take this that i got out within 30 minutes lol #my new favorite song :))

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lucatorahaven · 4 years

Text

vampire au post

4 skype convos haphazardly mixed in from very different times

[29/11/2014 4:27:51 AM] Probably Not Assorted Cheeses: Vampire au

Lucas the incompetent vampire who eats mostly animals

Duster was the one who bit him, only bc duster was literally starving n lucas came at a bad time

idk if duster should be born a vampire or not but Wes is one too and together they taught lucas how to survive.

however eventually they had to leave, they offered for lucas to join them but lucas can’t leave his family behind, the kid’s too sentimental :’(

so together they staged his death (which im too lazy to try n think of)

claus knew bout the vampire thing tho, lucas couldn’t live alone like that. He also ended up biting Boney in an accident so hey vampire dog.

claus grew up and eventually had his own family. Lucas could only really watch from afar but then the kids got his age and it was hard to see him and keep the gig up. He visited his parents funeral anonymously and afterwards him and claus stood there just

“sup” “how’re the kids” “twice your age and with kids of their own” “heh, i always thought you would be the one with kids yano?”

it was very bittersweet, it felt like they’ve never been apart

“it never stops feeling strange without you” "I know”

lucas thinks of that conversation a lot

he started off the "younger uncle" then the "weird neighbourhood kid that visits grandpa claus" and inevitably the "weird kid from nowhere who goes to the cemetary every other month to put flowers on graves older than appears to be"

SO without attachments lucas traveled with boney, hoping that they find duster along the way.

eventually lucas comes back to tazmilly but it’s been a couple hundred years now and it’s completely different so he doesn’t recognize it

n lucas one day is caught outside with no shelter, it’s almost morning so he runs into osohe (which is way outta town so he assumed it was abandoned)

vampires can’t enter homes without being invited in because apparently homes are holy land but osohe is fuckn haunted so that doesn’t apply (adding on to the abandoned theory)

that’s how kumatora and him meet, she finds him exploring osohe all “wtf the fuck who are YOU...this me house”

So she gets an awkward lie explanation from lucas

n she eventually catches on lucas is a vampire n is just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE I NEVER MET A VAMPIRE BEFORE FUCKN SWEET

lucas is just UM.;;; IS IT OK IF I STAY

"oh dude it's cool!! but u gotta tell me bout yourself bc i never met a vampire before ok?? i live iN THE PERFECT GOTHIC HOME BUT THERE’S NONE!! but here you are and i’m JACKED i gotta go to work tho so brb but afterwards u gotta tell me about yourself ok CYA"

lucas is still processing everything by the time she leaves, but he’s grateful and figures a conversation is the least he can do to repay her

in this au kumatora’s into cryptology bc her house is FULL of books and it’s a common subject (also the fact her castle is filled with ghosts and there are zombies just across the moat, it’s a p convenient hobby)

when she comes back she’s super excited because he’s still there

lucas is kinda reserved but he still answers questions bc it’s POLITE

she asks bout p much everything?? “HEY do you need that” “y-yes” “is this true?” “not that i know of” “ok experiment time” “uH;;” “wait am i keeping you up?? it’s still daytime” “no it’s okay”

after exhausting lucas of all his Vampire Facts kuma invites lucas to live at osohe castle, it’s big enough anyways

lucas is wary af bc he doesn't wanna accidentally get close to someone who 1. has a life span and 2. is technically food

but lucas ends up sticking around anyways, boney really likes it and he lowkey enjoys her company

so they keep chillin n lucas tells her how he hunts animals n how he only takes a bit of blood so they don't die and

IDK I GO BY THE THEORY THAT VAMPIRES HAVE VENOM bc otherwise their entire food source becomes COMPETITION n they can bite but not?? TURN THEM INTO ANYTHIng so controlled blood flow for feeding purposes

also vampires only need to eat once or twice a month? they die around 6+ months without eating from starvation. It all depends on how quickly the blood cells in their body die basically.

ALSO when they bite you it doesn’t hurt bc their saliva numbs it so (sneaky bites) but it still feels weird as shit

bUT YA SO LUCAS N KUMATORA CHAt a whole bunch...you know that “accidentally get close” thing i mentioned? it happened

(it was kinda hard to avoid when the first companion you have that’s not your dog is informed on vampires and vampire goods, that was convenient)

so they keep hangin out and kumatora unlocks his Tragic Backstory

n sometimes kumatora helps him feed? like they go out together finding animals n storing blood

n lucas is fascinated with how technology has advanced bc he doesn't really?? go into towns anymore but he fuckn LOVES it

n they play video games n general COOL FUNTIMES

kumatora let’s lucas borrow her labtop to occupy himself and he looks for other vampires or hints of them

(this is under the assumption that osohe can get electricity in a modern au while still being ignored / abandoned)

n when kumatora goes to work he cleans up the castle n tries to show how much hE REALLY APPRECIATES HEr

n lIKE i also go by the logic that vampires do not do the stereotypical “turn into ashes at sunlight” it is a slow progression that takes up to 12 hours until absolutely turned to a crisp

so basically if he covers himself and wears a shit ton of sunscreen he can chill in the middle of the day for like...a hour or two

and bc kumatora's WORTH IT he visits her at work n she's all LucAS WHAT ARe yO U DoING??

lookin like a modern goth kid......has a huge red burn on his cheek..

he blames it on how pale/blonde he is “my brother is ginger you know”

kuma gets super worried n he's all bruh it cool i have like..2 more hours until i need to go to a hospital

n kumas jsuT I GET OFF IN 4 HOURS GO HOME

kumatora invites him to movie nights with her friends n shit

people start calling lucas kumatora's goth boyfriend “never call him that when he's around or i'll murder you”

theyre all rather cool with lucas and find his speech kinda funny?

"wow look at those teeny boppers" "GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY GOD I LOVE IT" “???????????????" kumas friends ask for lucas more all WHAT SCHOOL DOES HE GO TO WHERE DOES HE LIVE "oh he's......foreign B)"

eventually it comes up how lucas doesn’t really want to be a vampire anymore and kumatoras just “dude i can help you find a cure” bc maybe her hobby is a bit Excessive but live your dreams

but ya lucas is just?? constantly wants to visit kumatora n loves her night shifts!! visits all the time they go on hikes a lot n jusT? GETS SO FUCKIGN ATTACHED IT SCARES HIM CONSTANTLY

they sometimes fall asleep on the couch together n when he's all "wow shes so cute.." he realizes how fucking Deep he’s in this and he’s FUCKED

he tries to distance himself but he Can’t Fucking Do It (just like w/ his fam)

whenever he tries to push her away she looks so upset it kills him

N HE'S IN SUCH A STRUGGLE BC HE'S JUST

SO HAPPY TO BE AROUND HER??????

N LIKE WHEN THEY CUDDLE N STUFF HE'S JUST SO OVERWHELMED BC oh my god heartbeats!! oh my god she's gonna die before me

n lucas really fucking feels the severity of how FUCKED he is when its her birthday n hes just

yes she's gonna age and he's gonna outlive her n they could never realistically be happy even if by some offhand chance she even RETURNS the feelings

N HE HAS TO HIDE HIS CRYING N STUFF BUT KUMATORA HAS A 6TH FUCKN SENSE FOR DISTRESSED LUCAS SO SHE'S ALL bruh :( whats up

so he opens up to her about his feelings and anxiety and she hugs him through it, it’s kind of a shitty way to confess

“idk if i can forgive you for deciding that i’m gonna die before you” “are you threatening murder” “that and no way death’s gonna get me, i’m pretty stubborn”

a lil while passes

“you know... i’m okay with becoming a vampire” lucas refuses bc dude.. you can’t even comprehend the weight of immortality.. what if she regrets it

“to hell if i make my closest friend suffer because of a life span” “hah i guess that’s the same for me”

they drop the vampire topic for the time being and move on to other ones such as... mutual feelings :^)

they’re both romantically inclined i mean... lucas spent 300+ years being a hermit and kumatora had other things to do

so they take it slow, it’s p much the same as before except.. hey...now when i think “man i wanna hold their hand” i CAN

it'd also be really sad and/or cute if the ghosts in the castle some of them were lucas's family which might be why boney likes it so much but also imagine them kissin on the couch "kuma ghosts r there" "EH THEYRE JUst ghosts" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) claus looks into the camera "after so long... finally my little brother gets some action :')"

but idk if that’s a thing bc it feels kinda weird i feel like kissin n shit wouldn't b very often bc as much as they both loVE IT

IT'S NOT THAT GREAT FOR A VAMPIRE

YANO.... HEARTS R BEATING... NECK IS RIGHT THERE (lucas still adores it tho)

so back to the topic of Mortality

kuma gets attacked in an alley on the way home from work

n lucas finds her bc they were gonna meet up but he smelt the blood and when he does find her he just goes FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK n didn't know how to save her

also thinking rationally is hard when OH LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD AHhaHA

SO HE BITES HER

he carries her body home n he spends the whole waiting process between DEAD and VAMPIRE crying just "hoyl shti please work please work" “what did i fucking dooooo” “what if i was earlier” “what if i was too late” so many anxieties

kuma wakes up and lucas transistions from panic to HAPPY PANIC OH THANK GOD

she’s really out of it bc of the process and he’s crying apologies “it’s okay you saved me” but he’s still crying, they cuddle for comfort

"hey atleast we did it NOW when i'm a hot sexy 19 yr old and not a wrinkly old lady” “kuma” “i’m tryna make light of the conversation”

so now that kumatora’s a vampire she only works night shifts until she eventually quits. They moved to a new town / whatever so it was easy to avoid having to meet someone in the daytime. facebook helped keep in touch with her friends while still letting the friendship die out.

it took kumatora a bit to get used to being a vampire. she threw up a lot at first and she didn’t like having to drink blood but she did eventually get used to it

idk if they find a cure bc idk what the cure would BE but they eventually find other vampires :^) they continued lucas’s search for duster and probably found him tbh

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indi-indigo-loves-barley · 4 years

Text

The Beginning - Chapter 1

[Mod Arts: A little fanfic about how Barley and Indi met/got together. Complete fluff with a side of mild family issues. Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 1631]

“Barley’s chill,” Monica assured as she clicked a few times on her computer. Watching her as she did this, Indi bit her lip. She had been playing Quests of Yore with her online friends for years, bringing someone new into the bunch made her feel slightly queasy. What if he judged her? What if he made fun of her?

Indi didn’t have another moment to worry because suddenly the boy was there in a loud flurry. His one liner (that she had missed) managed to make both Kyle and Liam laugh; Monica gave him a pity chuckle. “Tough crowd,” the boy tsk-ed before acknowledging Indi, “so you don’t have a funny bone Indigo Girl?”

Indigo Girl.

There was no malice behind the words –no intent to hurt or belittle– he was simply interacting with her like he would any other person. Her chest unconstricted and she smiled slightly. “Naw, I do, I just have a little more class,” she joked back and he chuckled in return. In fact, everyone had laughed at her joke, including Monica.

“So why have I never met m’lady before,” Barley asked, raising a dramatic eyebrow and Indi’s mood fell. The light, fluttery feeling dropped from her stomach. This was always the elephant in the room.

“I-Im sick… can’t go out…” Indi stuttered out quietly. Barley’s face immediately fell with hers and he sat back, his mood significantly changed.

“Oh… how sick?” He looked like a lost puppy. Indi chewed on her bottom lip before speaking. Why was he so torn up about this?

“Just Anemia… but it can get really bad some days. I get dizzy spells, bouts of random tiredness, random upset stomachs, and exercise is a bitch. My moms have decided it’s easier to keep me inside.” His face seemed to lighten a degree, but not back to its original state.

“Forever,” Kyle snorted out. The word hung in the air and Indi sucked on her bottom lip harder, she could see the cogs working in Barley’s head. She could see the moment he realized she had pretty much never seen the outside world.

“Well I get out for doctors appointments…” she finally spoke up.

“Enough of the chatter,” Monica finally chimed in looking bored. Indi knew it was an act, Monica was like an older sister to her, they would always look out for each other. “I wanna play some Quests of Yore.”

“Oh, of course,” Indi piped up, grateful for the distraction, “this new campaign is gonna put y’all through it!” She started pulling out her Quests of Yore journal and flipping through it, till she landed on her newest writing. “Sabotage, spies, amnesia, Civil Wars!” Liam and Kyle groaned, they never liked the complicated stuff.

As Indi started to DM the session she got a private message from Barley. Accepting the friend request sent along with it, she opened it. I’m sorry. She stared at the text as rehearsed words poured from her mouth. She stared until she couldn’t any longer because she needed to look at her notes for prompting.

~ ~ ~

The text was left unreplied to for three whole days. Barley had begun to wonder if he had said the wrong thing, if maybe she now hated him. It was late on the third day when he had opened the chat again to check –he always worried that his notifications might glitch and he’d never know she even replied– upon opening the chat he found she was typing. Suddenly she stopped, after a long pause she started again, only to stop. Sighing he turned off his phone and flung it on the bed, covering his eyes with his arm. Five minutes later the phone went off.

Snatching up it he turned on the lock screen to look, it was probably Kyle or Liam wanting to play online. He nearly dropped the phone when he realized it was a text from Indi. Immediately, he unlocked his phone to read it. What had she said?

I don’t know how to reply to this… I’ve tried for a bit, but I just can’t. Originally I had typed up this great message about how it was okay, and how it was for the better. But to be honest, I hate it. I feel like Rapunzel locked up in here. I don’t know what it’s like to be a normal… and that sucks. IDK why I’m telling you all this… but you seemed like you sincerely cared, so I thought you should sincerely know.

Barley drank in the text, he read it over and over until the words were burnt into his brain. How was he supposed to reply to this? He couldn’t just give her a throw away answer like ‘that sucks’, he wasn’t that type of guy. He genuinely cared. She had spilt her guts to him because she thought he genuinely cared.

And he was going to prove it.

Like what? He sent back.

Huh? She replied.

What normal things have you missed? There was a long pause as she typed up a list, but this time she typed furiously.

Stargazing, driving, going to playgrounds, hanging upside down in a tree, going to ice cream shops, just walking down the sidewalks.

Twisting up his mouth Barley stared at the text and honestly tried not to cry. This girl hadn’t had basic childhood experiences. She was a prisoner in her own house, not a child. Finally he texted back: What are you doing later tonight?

Why??? She answered back.

Just wondering.

That’s not weird.

Just answer me.

Nothing.

He smirked, this was it, he was going to help her tick off her list one thing at a time, starting with stargazing. Video call at 8pm-ish?

Sure?

Good, was all he replied before setting down his phone with a grin. Everything was in place for a perfect plan.

When 8 o’clock finally rolled around Barley started a call and Indi immediately picked up. “Which way does your room window face,” he asked.

“This is getting really creepy, are you gonna come kidnap me,” she joked back.

“No.”

“North.”

“Coolio.” Barley threw open his window and managed to scramble out of it, before Indi realized something was happening.

“What are you doing,” she was half laughing and half terrified.

“Climbing to the roof,” Barley grunted as he hoisted himself up. “There.” Refocusing the phone on his face he smiled and Indi gave him a real laugh.

“Barley, you are the strangest boy I’ve ever met.”

“Say what you must,” he joked back before settling on the northern hemisphere. “Are you looking out your window?” He watched as she shuffled around, and then he caught a glimpse of her room.

It seems lonelier than he imagined; white walls, neat bookshelf, the bed crisp and made, nothing on the floor (from what he saw). He stared a little too long, lost in thought and missed her words. She repeated them and he finally focused on the moment, but his stomach rolled.

“I’m at my window.” He caught her words this time around and plastered a grin on for her.

“Okay. See those five stars just to the right? They make a zig-zag line?”

“Yeah,” Indi breathed out looking up on her end.

“That’s Cassiopeia. And the right next to it, those four stars on the right, that’s Andromeda's legs. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor are out too, off to the left there.”

“I cannot believe you,” Indi suddenly laughed. Her voice held no tension, only great humor. “You’re trying to take me stargazing.”

“Well, yeah. I-I thought I could help you live out your dreams you know? Tomorrow we can hang upside down from a tree, and once I get Guinevere up and running we can go driving too!” Barley was blushing slightly, he didn’t know why, but he felt anxious voicing his plan.

“Oh,” Indi’s cheeks flushed and he noted how he liked that, it brought some color to her face. “I-I’d like that.” They sat in silence for a short time before Indi bit her lip and spoke.

“So, Guinevere?”

“Yeah,” Barley piped up. “Sweet van, automatic, roomie in the back. She needs a lot of work though; new breaks, the back lights are shot, a spark plug needs replacing too. Oh and I totally have to repaint her, tan is not her color.”

“Sounds like a real junk heap,” Indi giggled, “why did you even bother to buy it?”

“Her,” Barley corrected and they laughed together for a bit. Once the laughter died down he said, “I thought it’d be a nice summer project, you know. Make my own car, then it’ll really be mine. And so Guinevere was born.”

“No yet,” Indi corrected, “once you fix her up she’ll be born. And we will have cake, and party hats. It’ll be a grand birthday.” They chuckled together and suddenly Indi let out a big yawn. “Whelp, that’s my cue for sleep, I have to make sure I get what I can. It helps to be rested.”

“Of course,” Barley nodded.

“Thanks. See you tomorrow after school?”

“Yeah! We have a tree to climb.” Smiling at each other they hung up. Climbing back down and into his room Barley grinned to himself. He was saving Rapunzel from her tower.

~ ~ ~

As Indi went through her night time ritual to get ready for sleep, she thought about Barley. Why was he being so nice to her? She had originally thought pity, but tonight he proved her wrong. There was no pity in his eyes, there was only a caring glow. If it wasn’t pity, then what was it? What made this boy care so much about her?

Lying down in her bed Indi stared at the ceiling for a while before falling into sleep.

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years

Text

WhatsApp? Part 10. (Steve Rogers x reader)

Description: You’ve never been lucky with guys. You just wanted to catch someone’s eye, to be loved. One day, that’s about to turn completely - with one fake, completely imagined number a guy gave you

A/N: Man I live for Sam Wilson. He’s too much to handle. He’s that chaotic friend for sure.

Word count: 1.9 K

Warnings: Probably like none? Idk.

Tagging: @missdictatorme, @songforhema, @mikariell95, @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

Read the rest here: Part One Part Two Part three Part four Part five Part Six Part seven Part eight Part nine

If you like to have your readings in order :): H E R E

You had a deep coma until two p.m. the next morning, unable to move, speak or talk, just laying in your head under the blankets, watching some Audrey Hepburn movies running on the TV.

When you for yourself together and felt like standing up, you took a long shower full of bubbles and nicely smelling cosmetics, then you took the rest of the make-up down. Then, with your stomach still being heavy as fuck, you ordered some food from a near pizza shop. Then, again, you fell down the bed, still looking like a piece of trash.

When your phone rang, you picked it up without even looking at the name on the display. You thought that it's the pizza courier.

"I'm sorry man, I can't even walk. Can you go to the third floor, fifth door? On the back of the hall. You can't miss it." - You growled tiredly like a Golum, sounding really tired.

"If you tell me on which address, I will come. Are you expecting someone?" - You heard Steve's voice from the other side. His voice was breathy, so you knew that he's on his daily jog. You couldn't even know ho terrified he actually was because of the answer. You surely were expecting someone. Some man from yesterdays evening.

His confidence slowly fell down from hundred to zero seriously fast. And you didn't even have to say or do anything for that matter.

"Yeah, queen Liz will be at my place aaaany minute." - You said quietly, but your fingers started to play with the necklace almost immediately. It was perfect and you never wanted to take it off. - "Just the pizza delivery guy. I'm hungry but too lazy to cook. It really made me tired yesterday."

"You were perfect." - He said breathlessly. Your lips curled into a slight smile. Steve was running around Brooklyn park with a perfectly dreamy look on his face. You two were such dorks - "I could not believe my eyes. You were so close and so full of life, so beautiful... Dear lord."

"Steve, you really knew which one am I? Didn't you look after Deena, May or Suzie? Because you surely are not talking about me." - The breath stuck in your breath and your heart was beating faster and faster. You probably had to stand just a few feet from him. He could basically touch you if he wanted to. And you wished that he have even when you knew that Steve wasn't that kind of a man.

"I was looking at you and only you. And what about that solo with your friend? I liked that. That was funny." - Steve smiled. You only heard yourself giggling and squealing. That made the big man a bit worried. He never heard you do those sounds so loudly. But now you had a serious hungover and you were just happy. There was nothing to hide anymore. - "Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, I am. I perfectly am. Just... You were there, with me, watching us, maybe even singing and clapping, you gave me that beautiful necklace... And..." - You mumbled with the speed of light. You are so sweet. Steve found it nice to find someone so pure and so happy because of such a small thing which was completely natural for him.

"So you liked it?" - Steve stopped and breathed the six miles he just ran. His thighs and ass were slightly burning, that was a sign of a seriously good work out.

"I... I loved it. I will never take it off, I swear!" - You exclaimed. Your head and body hurt, but Steve has woken you up so much, that you have completely forgotten about that. That was just what Steve did to you daily. - "Also, it was you, am I right?"

"I was what?" - He laughed and you heard as he drank something.

"Ten grand out of our twenty-five? You did it, am I right?" - You smiled. Steve was obviously just a really good, real and honest man who cared about local charities. A good heart with a good soul - Steve obviously wasn't the one who would flex on you with his money. He would never.

"Maybe it was me, maybe it was not me. Do not care about that. I and my lads loved it yesterday so we wanted to let you know. Did you get that note?" - Steve asked, his voice tone suddenly changing from playful to hoping. You froze in one place. The note... THE note.

You must've lost it when you were taking the board from Tony Stark himself. Suddenly, you wanted to cry. It must've been something important for him.

"Oh Steve, I'm so sorry..." - You shuttered and sobbed as you were about to cry. What was the note about?

"Hey. Do not be sad, alright? It's not a big deal at all, Y/N. I'll think about something else, just keep your spirits up, sweetheart."

---

Even tho Steve acted like it was a no big deal, it was a huge one for him. He wrote you a short note, in which he was asking you on a serious date. Sam made him do it because he was so curious about your reaction - old school yes or no note with a date and a location. But you have lost it.

Steve wasn't mad, of course, he wasn't. But he has some high hopes for that. He was crazy about you saying yes, to finally meet you, take you out on a dinner and to be just... With you, your beauty and bright mind.

He was calling you throughout his entire jog and as you ate your pizza. In the end, he truly asked for your friend's number, because Bucky was persistent about getting to know that girl.

"I will hang up. I have a meeting with some friends today, but I can call you in the evening, is that alright?" - Steve stopped in front of his apartment door, adjusting the microphone on his earphones as he was searching for his keys.

"I will hopefully survive today. I will miss you, handsome." - You said in a sweet tone and Steve felt as his knees melt a bit. Now he could imagine your face and expression, your big shiny eyes and beautiful lips curling to a smile. And when Steve closed his eyes, the feeling became even more intense. You were perfect for him.

"Tell me about it. Be safe." - Steve basically purred and got into the apartment. Bucky immediately took notice of his lad and he smiled at Steve. His expression was telling so much without him even saying a word.

"I will, bye." - You sighed lightly and hung up.

"I should take a photo of you." - Bucky joked and when he said a word photo, Sam immediately hurried out of bedroom only in his boxers.

"Ma man just saw some boobs, didn't he?" - Sam clapped cheerfully and Steve just waved him off. Sam and boobs - that could've been an idea for a saga. - "Hope you got the number for Mr. I Will Teach About Jesus. He is just fuckin' persistent because of it."

"Got it. But now we should prepare for that big Avengers evening. Tony will be curious about that ten grand I gave to them." - Steve said cheesily with a laugh.

When he was taking another shower and dressing up, two texts were delivered to his phone. One of them was some Deena's number. Steve figured out that that was your friend's name.

The second one was a cute photo of you - your face, messy hair, slight smile and big eyes looking at him. You had a tank top on to show off your new necklace. The smile was definitely the cutest ever. He immediately needed to show Bucky.

"Yeah. She's... She's just perfect, pal. But I'm more interested in the first text." - Bucky winked. Steve couldn't be mad at him. Bucky always had a thing for girls which radiated that bad girl energy, those nasty ones who could kick his ass. And Deena, as you called her, was surely that type who could show men that she is completely on her own.

---

The next day Deena yelled and ran to you just when tried to open the door to your office with a serious load of muffins.

“You won't believe anything im going to tell you, girl. Shut up and listen!” - She yelled all over the building and caught both your shoulders in an eager grip.

“Okay. Stop yelling. I'm listening.” - You laughed to her face, and she rolled her eyes.

“A man from that evening texted me this morning. Like... If I wanna hang out today.” - Deena whispered. Yeah. Steve informed you that James, his friend, is going to contact Deena. You just didn't expect it so soon. You had the thing going on for a few months and yet you havent seen him. But James asked Deena out instantly. Just like that.

You were the jealous one at the moment. Yet you got a smile out of your lips which made you appear happy.

“That's awesome. Is he handsome?” - You asked curiously and entered the building with her by your side. You tried to be happy for James hitting his chances off immediately, yet you felt like Steve could it as well. Was it a problem in you, in him, in the universe, or where the fuck it was?

“As fuck. Man, if he lets me be my own woman and if he won't do the top between us just because he’s a man, I think I'm gonna see him again.” - Deena told you with a totally wicked smile and you opened your mouth.

“That sounds like you’ve started with wedding plans. Can I be the grand-mother of your first child?” - You joked around and Deena stopped you with a gentle touch on your shoulder.

“Hey. I know what's this about. You're angry that James is initiative and Steve is just surrounded with mysteries. But... You know... James can be a jackass and I can tell you hes a complete dick tomorrow. But you and Steve have invested a few months of your life into that relationship you two have. You know each other. You call each other every day. I don't know James at all.” - She said in all seriousness. That's why she was your friend. She knew what was wrong without you even wanted her to. You hugged her tightly because she raised confidence inside of you.

“If James would act like a dick, I will say Steve to beat him the fuck up.” - You promised solemnly with your hand on your heart and entered the office.

And so Deena and James started dating. And yet you felt like you and Steve were the first ones even if you haven’t seen each other.

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #sam wilson #the falcon #mcu #captain america

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sakuhai · 4 years

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I quite enjoy Oriya❤PJ comics on WEBTOON.I don't think they are homophobic,just extremely intense and mostly focuse on the dark side of humans and relationships because to a certain degree that's closer to reality.

In their most recent project the characters are complicated and full of flaws and some hidden virtues.

The main character is this rich kid who has always been lonely angry and sad.As a kid his mother "abandoned" him and his older sister (who btw once had s*x with a dude who had a boyfriend and a few years later she got pregnant by a married man though so far its unclear whether she had the kid or not,but one thing is for sure.She ALWAYS had her father on her side helping her out and supporting her and being lenient over her mistakes,unlike her brother whome he always judged more harshly and had much more demands for him and on top of that didn't accept the fact that his son was gay and he was never a supportive father.)

Thats one way to look at things but everyone is "morally gray" in the creators works so the father is not a complete monster.He still spoiled his kids providing them with everything.The main protagonist didn't go to college neither did he had a job.He still lived under his "a**hole" fathers roof but he didn't respect him.Like one time he brought in a dude and f*cked him on the couch in the living room.He did it on purpose to piss off his father who caught him and gave him a bloody punch in the face...

The thing with the seme of the story is that he eventually got a job at a bar but he was diagnosed with an extremely serious potentially life threatening heart disease that the doctor said that surgery or surgeries are necessary and can be done at the seme's fathers clinic but he is too proud to ask his father for anything.And he distants himself from his family more and more.And one time he even roasted his sister so hard she slapped him in the face and run away crying.🙄

Now the other main character of this series is the "controversial" one -at least for me-

I guess it's easy to like characters like him.Because he is the uke and he is very pretty and he gets f*cked around all the time so he is the one who provides almost all the s*x in the series so that makes him likable to the audience.

The uke is interesting but also kinda annoying to me.

He was a prostitute for many years.He was picked up from the streets by a daddy and he was offered a job at a brothel.However the contract he signed had significantly more privileges compared to other s*x workers there.

The uke could chose his clients,he could chose whether he wanted to have s*x with them or not and if yes he could chose what kind and set some very strict rules and limitations.No bruises,no hickeys,no any marks.His paycheck was way larger than the other prostitutes as well and most importantly he could quit and leave the brothel whenever he wanted to!And of course he "brought in the most clients"and the boss offerered him special treatment.He told him "Whatever you need I'm always here for you.Don't ever hesitate."

So based on that its understandable why some other s*x workers at the brothel hated him with a passion.And he is always so aloof always smoking a cigarette and has an attitude.

So the uke met the seme at the bar the seme works in and he liked him.They hooked up and continued so for around 4 months until the seme found out that the uke works at a brothel and he was disgusted.The uke answers that he didn't think they were in a relationship and that if he had ever asked him anything he would had answered him.

The truth is that during those months they didn't do anything else but meet and f*ck.They didn't talk or anything more substantial than just s*x but they both are responsible for this because none of them ever took the initiative to try and meet the other better...

So the seme rejects the uke but the latter has a spare key of his apartment and often appears there and he is kinda manipulative because he has figured out a few of the seme's vulnerabilities.He knows he feels lonely that he has anxiety and he is desperate for affection.But the uke translates all this to s*x and he is more "catty" while with the seme things are straight forward.He loses his temper and he yells.He calls the uke hoe and multiple times has declared that he wants nothing to do with him!

Yet the uke always appears in front of him.Some may say he cares he loves him etc but to me all those seem more manipulative and selfish from the uke's part.

He appears at bars the seme goes and he "saves him" from others who want to hook up with him (not that the seme needs physical help) but still the uke magically appears as if he has the right to interfere in the semes life whether for good or for bad.

He still takes care of the seme when the latter is drunk and vulnerable.I can't help but feel that the uke takes advantage of the seme for his own benefit and in a way he does manipulate him psychologically and emotionally.Trying to convince him that they both are "equally dirty" and "horrible people".

Things always end up with s*x for them though no matter how many times the seme has told him he is not interested he doesn't want to see him anymore.He even threatened to call the police on him if the uke didn't give him the spare key back.The uke pretended to do so but he lied.He is so creepy having multiple keys of the seme's apartment and chilling there as he wishes too knowing that in the end the seme will just give in to s*x and things will continue as such.

He even introduced himself as the semes boyfriend to the semes sister when she visited her brother.Before that he had discovered the doctor diagnosis paper which was in a drawer the seme had by his desk.

Btw of course the uke has a "super cool amazing goth girlfriend" who thinks the seme is the a**hole and that her friend should just leave him.She is right but only for the second part.

Anyways the uke once again seemingly got what he wanted.He claimed that ever since he met the seme he hasnt been working at the brothel nor taking any other guys.With the only exception being his ex boss he just couldn't refuse him a "goodbye forever" f*cking.

He told him he has quit the s*x industry for good and permanently.However it seems that the uke has no further explanations or promises to give.And he doesn't have anything in mind about what he is going to do in the future.What other job is he capable of doing?

The thing with the uke is not only that he was a prostitute but he was a criminal who has done some illegal immoral things that are just disgusting and could get him in jail.

Basically he sold drugs to people.And to underage people...Idk but if I was the seme I'd be even more strict with him.Unfortunately this seme seems tough but he is not.He is more like a big kid and he is lonely insecure and vulnerable which the uke I feel like takes advantage of those to guilt trip him.

All it took for the uke to stop being roasted in front of a mirror by the seme was to make a dramatic scene after the seme told him "How do you come here and take for granted that I'll kiss you when I don't know where your mouth has been and how many d*cks it has sucked and how can I be with someone in a normal relationship knowing that he has f*cked half the town!?" After hearing those the uke just grabbed the soap and poured it in his mouth (the dramatic scene) and the seme got worried (exactly as the uke expected) and not only that but the uke then proceeds to once again tell him that they both are dirty.

Idk im mostly leaning towards not liking this uke very much because once again he got what he wanted by manipuation.By psychological threat attempting to wash his mouth with soap.That will make a sensitive person like the seme to think that the uke could do something more serious trying to damage himself if he doesn't get what he wants.

Only time will tell but so far I'm glaring at the uke.Giving him double the attitude he gives to others lol.He is the type of person that thinks that even though the seme rejects him,insults him and even manhandled him few times as long as the uke can still get him to have s*x with him then he will probably fall in love with him eventually...

Anyways the title of this mess is "If tomorrow was yesterday" check it out and make your own opinions if you're interested.

It is an interesting story the chapters are very brief there is a lot of drama and "tea" in each one of them so overall is a easy to binge read comic.Also the art is great though sometimes I feel that the artist goes through the "Same face syndrome" way too often...But that's not so important.

#if tomorrow was yesterday #manhwa #my ramblings #long post sorry

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purple-possibilities · 4 years

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For shipping asks: 26, 27, and 29

Thanks for the ask! Someone beat you to #26, which you can find here.

27. What are your views on reader x canon ships?

So, funny story; aka the background of how I discovered fanfiction was a thing without knowing fanfiction was a thing.

Back in the day, there was this website called “elibs.” Basically, it was a site filled with adlib stories (the ones where there’s a story/joke written out, and you have to pick an adjective/verb/noun/colour/etc to fill in the blanks before you read the story. Then the site would fill in the blanks with the words you chose and pop out a silly sounding story, because none of the choices you made fit with what was going on).

I was in grade 5 when my friends and I found that site, and we would send the best ones to each other during library period, when we were supposed to be researching stuff lol. But what that site also had was a bunch of original and fanfic stories, where the blanks would be your name, hair/eye/skin colour, age, height, whatever. All just blank so that the character in the story was actually you. They were mostly still written in third person, tho some of them were in second person. My friends and I ate them up. It was so cool getting to be a character in an amazing story. In fact, the first thing I wrote and published was a Harry Potter reader insert fic that I posted on that website. I was 11. It was terrible. I loved it haha.

(There was a lot of self-insert porn on that website too. No regulations meant lots and lots of dirty stuff that you would stumble upon. Of course my friends and I all shared those with each other lol. It was so taboo! And we just giggled over them—even read them together, switching out the names so we could laugh at who was having sex next. All in library class. Idk how we were never caught. I can’t see doing that now. Like there’s this taboo about watching/reading porn platonically lol. But as 11 year olds (and even until we left middle school and split up) it was just funny... and then hormones kicked in and it became a way to discuss sex. Maybe we were too young for it, idk, but I remember it fondly).

Then after that, this site called “quizilla” got big, and all their stories were reader x character fics. So of course we all moved on to that.

I didn’t find out that what I was doing was actually called “fanfiction” until grade 7, when another friend introduced me to FFN. That’s when I started reading canon x canon fics. Reader fics we’re not allowed on FFN I believe, only OCs.

Now I still read reader x canon fics, mostly for the nostalgia of how I first found fanfiction, and because I find that reading stories in second person are really relaxing. Plus why not? You all know I have a crush on Kakashi and Shisui and Hawks lol. You think I’m not gonna do something about it???

The only time I find reader x canon fics to be a turnoff is when the author explicitly states “the reader is me but you can imagine yourself there too,” because then that feels too personal. Like I’m reading about your relationship with someone as opposed to some nameless character. Nothing wrong with writing yourself into a fic, just when I know it’s you I’m like “this feels like voyeurism.” If you wrote it as yourself and never told me I’d never know and it would be cool haha!

Plus, the first “daydreams” I had about stories always were like, “what would it be like if I could be in this story.” So I totally get why you’d want to and why people enjoy it. Idk why people find it cringey; like, it’s totally normal to want to be a part of something you love. I’ve loved so many worlds so much more than reality. I guess people find the romance to be “lame” but like, why? What’s more lame about liking a fictional character than having a celebrity crush? It’s not like you really know the celebrity, you know only what they show you. At least with a character you can say you know who they are completely. And those kind of crushes—fictional and celebrity—are a safe way of having and exploring romantic feelings. You go get your fictional crush, babies. I support you.

29. Do you like OCs (Original Characters)?

OCs are not inherently enjoyable or unenjoyable, it depends on the character, just like with canon characters. I’ve written several OCs, I’ve written OC x Canon fics, and I’ll probably continue to do so, if I feel the story I want to tell needs it. I have two different OC x Kakashi stories I’ve worked on, one I’m gonna scrap because I wrote it like right after the Pein arc and I feel that it doesn’t really work with the rest of Naruto in mind (tho I still like the OC lol), and the other is an ABO fic where I’m exploring what it means to be dominant and submissive, as well as gender roles. It didn’t work with any Canon x Kakashi pairing I could think of, so I made an OC. (This fic is dif than the ABO!KakaSaku fic im working on lol don’t worry).

I like reading stories with OCs so long as I like the OC—same as I like reading about Canon characters so long as I like the canon character. The OCs I dislike tend to have like, really horrible, depressing backstories where their families all died or they were abused or they’re currently depressed, just because they’re so angsty and I can’t read angst like that. Or they just seem kind of cliché. Nothing against people who write those characters, I totally get why you would and I respect you for it, but I just don’t enjoy reading about them.

But as to if OCs are an immediate turn off, the answer is a resounding “No.” Good writers make good OCs, it’s as simple as that. But even a good writer can make an OC you don’t like, because people have different preferences.

And well, every character is technically an original character, lol!

Thanks for the ask, anon! This was a lot of fun to answer. Sorry the responses kind of got out of hand lol!

Send me Shipping Asks!

#answered asks #shipping asks #anonymous

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