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amiableness · 2 months

Text

Tulips

Pairings: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader, Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Summary ✿ After finding out Remus Lupin has found himself a girlfriend, a devastated Y/n L/n asks Sirius Black to help her get over him. Except Sirius has feelings for her.

Warnings ✿ Language, unrequited love, angst, kissing, jealousy, reader wearing lipgloss and a dress, mentions of anxiety. If there's more let me know!

Word Count ✿ 20.3k

A/N 💌 This was my first ever series, but I've decided to repost it as a oneshot!

Your affection for Remus had begun almost from the moment you met him. For nearly five years, you found yourself quietly drawn to him. How could you not be? His tranquil and caring nature had eased your anxieties countless times. His unwavering loyalty to both his friends and his studies never ceased to amaze you. The bravery he exhibited each month, whether he acknowledged it or not, left you in awe. With Remus, you always felt secure, as if nothing could disturb your sense of safety.

Monday nights marked your routine study sessions with Remus, a tradition since the start of sixth year. Arriving promptly at his dorm, you were met with unsettling moans seeping from beneath the door, causing your stomach to plummet. Frozen in shock, you raced through possible explanations, with Sirius seeming the most plausible culprit. Surely, Remus wouldn't forget your study night, and the thought of another girl seemed inconceivable. As you turned around, anxiety coursing through your veins, you collided with Sirius, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Please tell me it’s James in there." You pleaded, the desperation clear in both your tone and your expression, causing Sirius' heart to sink. Knowing James was at practice, he couldn't bring himself to shatter your hope. Instead, he grasped your hand firmly and practically pulled you towards your dormitory. Despite the chaos of emotions, Sirius made sure to shield you with his own body, warding off any prying eyes curious about the tears streaming down your cheeks.

"Are any of your roommates here?" Sirius inquired as he halted in front of your dormitory door.

"No, Lily is staying the night at your dorm with James, and I think Marlene is staying with Dorcas." You responded, your voice tinged with sadness as you used your sleeve to dab at the tears staining your cheeks. Leading the way inside, you guided Sirius into your room, where he realized it was his first time seeing your personal space. Until now, you and Remus had been inseparable, leaving no room for Sirius to spend time alone with you.

He found himself a tad nervous, the proximity to you unnerving him in the best possible way. As he stood in your dormitory, the faint scent of your favorite perfume lingering in the air, Sirius couldn't help but feel a flutter in his stomach. It was an unfamiliar sensation, being so close to you without the familiar presence of Remus nearby.

"It wasn’t James and Lily in there, was it?" Sirius turned to you, his expression filled with concern as he observed you sitting on your bed, visibly holding back tears, awaiting his response.

"No, angel." He replied softly, his voice tinged with empathy as he moved to sit beside you. A sigh escaped his lips as he settled onto your bed. Sirius knew James's schedule all too well, and he was certain that James was still down at the Quidditch pitch, far from the dorm.

Everything about your side of the room was perfectly you. Your desk was adorned with stacks of books, polaroids capturing cherished memories with friends pinned to the wall, and one of Remus’ sweaters casually draped over the back of your chair. Yet, amidst the familiar sights, a small glass vase seized his attention. Within it, a single red tulip, a gift he had given you a few weeks earlier.

As he strolled around Black Lake with the boys, he stumbled upon the patch of flowers, and instantly, he knew it was meant for you. Knowing how much you adored flowers, often doodling them in the margins of your Potions notes while seated beside him, he couldn't resist picking it. James, catching sight of the flower, declared that Lily deserved an entire bouquet.

You weren’t taken aback when James Potter interrupted your study session with Lily by presenting her with a stunning bouquet of flowers. However, what did catch you off guard was Sirius' gesture: placing a single red flower delicately on top of your open book and sending you a playful wink.

"M’lady." He had murmured, and at that moment, your cheeks ignited with a warmth you had never felt before.

Lily filled the remainder of your study session with talk of how a red tulip symbolized a declaration of love while you simply laughed in response.

Sirius glanced over at you, noticing the tear-filled gaze fixed upon your hands as you sat on the bed. He hesitated, the weight of his words hanging in the air. "I didn’t know you had feelings for him." he finally admitted, his tone tinged with surprise.

You offered a soft laugh tinged with a hint of sadness. "I guess that means I’m good at hiding it then. It’s been a good couple of years now. Probably started the very first day I met him, honestly," you confessed, a bittersweet smile gracing your lips.

"I’m sorry, angel." Sirius expressed, his voice laced with genuine remorse.

A gentle shake of your head followed. "You don’t have to be sorry," you reassured him, your voice carrying a tone of acceptance intertwined with a hint of resignation.

"I could’ve given you a heads up," Sirius grimaced as your head whipped up to look over at him, the gravity of his words sinking in. "He’s been seeing this girl for weeks. He’s going to ask her out soon."

"Sirius-" you began, your voice carrying a mixture of surprise and concern.

"I’m telling you this not to be mean, but so you’re not blindsided when it happens." Sirius continued his tone earnest yet tinged with regret.

This time, you remained silent, your gaze drifting over to the polaroid displayed prominently on your bedside table. In the photo, you and Remus sat beneath a tree, his arm wrapped around you in a protective embrace while your head rested gently on his shoulder. The memory of that day flooded back — discussing a book, laughter filling the air, and Lily insisting on capturing the moment in a photograph.

At the end of the day, with a knowing smile, she handed you the polaroid. The setting sun cast a beautiful glow upon the photo when you held it in your hand.

"C’mere," Sirius demanded softly, his voice a gentle command meant to pull you away from the intensity of the picture. He positioned himself against the headboard, arms open wide for you to find solace in. Without hesitation, you crawled into his embrace, nestling against his side. His arms enveloped you, offering comfort and warmth as he planted a tender kiss atop your head.

"What can I do?" Sirius inquired quietly, his gaze fixed on the tears tracing down your cheeks and staining his shirt.

"Help me get over him. Please." You pleaded, the vulnerability in your voice bared as you sought comfort and support from him.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

"Where the hell have you been? You nearly missed breakfast!" James exclaimed, his eyes scanning over your disheveled appearance—your hair in disarray and your clothes creased. It was a rare sight to see you, typically impeccably put together and five minutes ahead of everyone else, arriving late and looking rumpled. He chose not to mention the dark circles under your eyes or the absence of your usual cheery smile. He knew better than to bring that up.

Upon sensing Remus's scrutinizing gaze, you cleared your throat nervously and averted your eyes, unwilling to let him figure out that he was the cause of your disheveled appearance.

“Rough night.” That was simply put. In fact, last night had been incredibly rough, leaving you worse for wear this dreary morning. Cuddling with Sirius comforted you for so long before you were back to crying your heart out. He was kind enough to hold you the entire time, and eventually, you had both fallen asleep. There had been no discussion on what you meant last night about having him help you get over Remus. You didn’t know what you had meant by it either.

You grimaced as the memory flooded back, choosing to sit beside Sirius instead. He wouldn’t admit it in front of the boys, but he was well prepared to knock one of them over if they tried to sit next to him. After the trying night you'd endured, he made it a point to ensure you felt at ease and understood that he was there for you should you need anything. Normally, you occupied the seat next to Remus, with Sirius seated beside James and Peter. However, given the circumstances, he understood that you wouldn't feel comfortable sitting next to Remus that morning.

James' gaze darted between the two of you, noting the departure from your usual seating arrangement. He stole a quick glance at Remus, who seemed intent on studying you. "Hmm. Why is it that Sirius has been quiet all breakfast, and now you are too?" he quipped, breaking the silence.

"Sod off, mate." Sirius grumbled, pushing a steaming cup of tea toward you. Despite the gruff remark, he offered you a sweet smile before returning his attention to his meal. Even though the gesture was minimal, it made you want to burst into tears. The fact that he remembered your favorite tea and how you liked it meant more to you than words could express. Remus, however, frowned at the cup of tea sitting in front of you, his expression troubled.

“What? I can’t make conversation this beautiful morning?” James’s tone was still incredibly upbeat, unlike those around him. Peter hummed in agreement, his mouth full of cereal and unable to respond properly.

"It's storming." Remus mumbled, his gaze still fixed on you, sensing that something was amiss as you avoided meeting his eyes. Usually, you sat next to him, cheerily chatting about another book you had read together.

"Are you implying a storm isn't beautiful? Because I happen to think-"

"James, let's just have a quiet breakfast this Tuesday morning." Sirius interjected, surprising James with the interruption. James opened his mouth to protest, but the seriousness in Sirius's expression halted him mid-sentence. Sirius's deliberate interruption was aimed at signaling to Remus that he had missed your study night. It served its purpose, prompting Remus to acknowledge the missed study date.

"Oh, fuck. Y/n, I’m so sorry! Last night, our study night, I totally forgot," Remus blurted out, his words rushed and filled with regret as he watched your reaction. You simply shrugged and sipped your tea, avoiding direct eye contact with him. You kept your gaze fixed on your plate, knowing that meeting Remus's eyes would likely trigger another wave of tears.

"No big deal." You replied casually.

"Uh," Remus furrowed his eyebrows, his expression a mixture of concern and confusion as he searched your face for any sign of distress. However, your demeanor remained inscrutable, your face a mask of blankness. "Are you sure? I know you really wanted to study this week with your exam coming up-"

You finally met Remus's gaze, sitting up a bit straighter, "I was able to study, Remus, it's fine."

"You were? But uh-" Remus scrambled for words, uncertain how to navigate this tense exchange. He couldn't recall a time when you sounded so curt with him before.

"Sirius helped me." You interjected, your voice steady but tinged with an underlying tension.

James sputtered out a laugh, his gaze darting between you and Sirius. "He helped you study? Willingly?"

In reality, studying hadn't been the main agenda of the night. Before drifting off to sleep, you had hastily handed Sirius your flashcards from the nightstand, however, your pounding headache from crying rendered you unable to focus properly during his quizzing. So, technically, he did help you study, albeit minimally.

Peter raised his eyebrows, his tone laced with curiosity, "Is that where you were all last night? Studying?"

You squirmed uneasily at Peter's implication. Sirius shot James and Peter a sharp glance, silently urging them to stop talking.

Remus's lips parted in surprise as he shifted his gaze from Sirius to you. "He stayed the night with you?" His tone carried a hint of displeasure that didn't escape Sirius's notice. Despite himself, a slight sense of satisfaction flickered within Sirius at Remus's reaction.

Before anyone could respond, a pretty Ravenclaw leaned over Remus, enveloping him in a hug as she rested her head against his shoulder. "Rem, I thought you were going to try and sit with me this morning." She murmured.

Your body tensed at the sight of her; she was the girl from last night. A surge of jealousy, unlike anything you had ever experienced before, washed over you, catching you off guard. Your appetite vanished.

"Uh, sorry. I had to work on some things this morning and got a bit distracted." Remus's response came with a hint of discomfort, his apology tinged with unease. As you observed the exchange, you couldn't quite determine if his discomfort arose from her presence or the attention their interaction garnered. Quietly, you wished it leaned more towards the former.

Her lips formed a pretty pout, “Hm.”

James unabashedly observed the pair while taking a bite of his toast. "You know, Remus, if you ever need relationship advice, I’m here," he remarked, his tone teasing. Remus scowled in response, clearly unamused, while the girl giggled and tightened her grip around him, seemingly unfazed by James's comment.

You stole a glance at Sirius, momentarily tuning out the conversation to observe his reaction to the scene unfolding before you. Sensing the unease gnawing at your stomach, you instinctively reached for Sirius’ hand, which rested on his thigh. As soon as your fingers brushed against his, he responded by intertwining them with yours, his eyes meeting yours in silent understanding.

"Do you want to go?" he whispered softly, squeezing your hand in reassurance. Unable to trust your voice, you simply nodded in response. He released your hand momentarily, a fleeting disappointment washing over you until you watched as he effortlessly grabbed your bag and slung it over his shoulder. With a tender gesture, he reached for a muffin, noticing that you had hardly eaten.

Then, extending his hand towards you, he silently offered his support. Amidst James's lively conversation with the Ravenclaw girl and Remus's contemplative gaze, Peter looked on with a puzzled expression as Sirius extended his hand to you, a silent invitation to leave the discomfort behind.

"You don’t have to hold my bag." You mumbled, rising to your feet to face him, intertwining your fingers once more. Despite the awareness of the eyes fixed upon the two of you, your focus remained solely on Sirius.

"I wanted to, angel." Sirius replied softly, meeting your gaze with warmth. The genuine smile that graced your face was the first of the morning, and Sirius felt as if he had won the lottery.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

"Y/n." His voice sliced through the air, causing you to freeze mid-sentence. But deep down, what had you truly expected? That he wouldn’t approach you while you were quietly engrossed in your book in the common room? Your plan of avoiding him for as long as possible wasn’t unfolding as smoothly as you had hoped.

"Hi, Rem.” You responded softly, offering a genuine smile. Despite the ache that lingered from witnessing him with the Ravenclaw girl at breakfast, you couldn’t deny the bond you shared. After all, he was still your best friend. You couldn’t fault him for getting a girlfriend, no matter how much it hurt.

Remus settled into the armchair opposite you, his expression earnest. "I didn’t really get to talk to you much this morning," he began, his tone gentle.

You offered a nonchalant shrug, hoping to conceal the nervousness. "Oh. I mean, I wasn’t in much of a mood for chatting," you replied, attempting to maintain a façade of composure, though inwardly, you were anything but.

"Is everything alright? Is this about missing last night? I promise that I didn’t mean to, truly," Remus continued, his sincerity evident. Leaning forward, his eyes bore into yours, practically pleading for your forgiveness. Despite your resolve, his sincerity tugged at your heartstrings, and you found yourself wavering.

"I’m not upset about you missing our study night; I understand that things come up." You reassured him as though you were anything truly fine. There was a squeeze in your heart at remembering Remus with another girl, a stark reminder that she wasn't you.

Remus visibly relaxed at your words. "We could reschedule it?" he suggested, his tone hopeful.

A heavy silence settled between you. How were you supposed to tell him that you didn't want to reschedule? That you weren't ready to spend time alone with him right now? Being around him now, knowing you had no chance, felt like a punch to the gut.

"There you guys are!" James’ voice carried throughout the common room, effectively gaining more attention than he had probably intended. Sirius stood right beside him, his gaze already fixed on you. Peter was notably absent, likely engrossed in his studies elsewhere. Nevertheless, you welcomed the distraction.

James huffed as if he had been greatly inconvenienced. "We have been looking everywhere for you guys."

You couldn't help but laugh, "You didn’t think to check the common room first?"

"Y/n, please. Don’t be ridiculous." James quipped as he dropped into the armchair beside Remus. Remus's gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before he sighed and turned his attention to James. Soon enough, they were engrossed in their own conversation.

Sirius settled into the spot next to you, casually draping an arm over the back of the couch just behind your shoulders. As you leaned into his side and offered him a smile, he felt his cheeks flush with warmth. Your affectionate gestures toward him had always been present, but after last night, they seemed to intensify.

Your proximity never failed to make his heart skip a beat, and his stomach flutter. Despite his confidence in hiding his involuntary reactions to you, lately, it seemed more challenging for him to do so.

He greets you with the softest smile, his eyes reflecting warmth. "Hi, angel," he murmurs gently. Sirius had always affectionately called you angel, a term that secretly held a special place in your heart, one of your favorite things about him.

"Hi." You respond, a matching smile adorning your features, mirroring the comfort in his presence.

"I never got to thank you for last night." You admit, your tone filled with gratitude.

Shaking his head modestly, he insists, "You don’t have to thank me."

"It made me feel better having you there with me, so of course I want to thank you." You express earnestly, your appreciation evident in your words.

Sirius leans in, his breath tickling your ear as he whispers, "We still gotta talk about what you meant last night. By asking me to help you get over him."

Feeling a flush of embarrassment, you sputter out a response, "I’m not entirely sure what I meant. I figured you would know how to go about that."

"Why would I know how to go about that?" Sirius questions, genuine curiosity coloring his tone.

Shrugging, you admit, "I don’t know. I just thought you might have. You have way more experience with relationships than I do."

Sirius snorts, a wry grin tugging at the corner of his lips. "I wouldn’t call them relationships." he remarks, his mind briefly wandering through the array of flings he'd had in the past few years. None of them had left a lasting impression on him, none of them had made him feel the way you did.

You shrug, a hint of vulnerability in your expression. "It’s more experience than I have.”

Your voices remain hushed, a deliberate attempt to avoid drawing the attention of James and Remus. Yet, the intimate proximity between you and Sirius could easily spark curiosity on its own. You're practically nestled against his side, his warm breath brushing against your ear as he whispers. To any onlooker, it would seem as though you were lovers, exchanging sweet nothings in a quiet moment of intimacy.

He takes a moment to collect his thoughts, acutely aware of the gravity of his next question. He understands that the answer could severely hurt his feelings, "Are you in love with him?"

Your reaction is swift; you turn to him so abruptly that your noses nearly brush against each other. Sirius silently begs you to linger closer, but you withdraw just enough to maintain a respectable distance. He watches intently as you steal a glance at Remus, your bottom lip caught between your teeth in contemplation.

"No. But, honestly, it probably wouldn’t take much for me to fall in love with him." You confess, your words hanging in the air like a weight. Sirius needs a moment to recover, the impact of your admission hitting him harder than he had anticipated, despite mentally preparing himself for it.

You turn back to him, anguish evident in your voice, "How are you supposed to get over someone you’re nearly in love with?" Sirius hears the devastation in your tone, wishing he could convey that he genuinely comprehends that sentiment. However, delving into such explanations would only invite more questions, and that's the last thing he needs right now.

"I don’t know, angel." He responds simply, observing as you anxiously pick at your nails.

A quiet lull envelops you both before you speak up again, "I don’t think spending all my time with him helps. Maybe I should distance myself a little bit."

"You’re welcome to spend all that time with me instead." Sirius offers, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his side. As you relax into his embrace, you rest your head on his shoulder. For a few precious minutes, you both sit in silence, lost in your own thoughts.

Remus glances over at you, nearly doing a double-take at the display of affection. You have closed your eyes, seemingly oblivious to Remus' stare, but Sirius him. For a brief, tense moment, Remus and Sirius lock eyes, but then James regains Remus' attention.

“Sirius?” You ask, the weariness evident in your voice.

“Yeah?”

“Remember when you told James to get over Lily that he needed to get under someone else?” Sirius immediately senses the direction of the conversation, and a pang of regret twinges in his chest.

“Yes.”

“Do you think that really works?” You inquire, your tone tinged with uncertainty and a hint of desperation.

“For some people, maybe.” Sirius replies cautiously. He wants to admit that such tactics haven’t proven successful for him and probably never will.

You pull away to look at him, your eyes reflecting a mixture of hope and uncertainty, “Would you help me find someone?”

"There’s no way in hell I’m doing that." Sirius responds firmly, his tone leaving little room for negotiation. But before you can protest, he interjects, "I’ll be your distraction."

"How exactly?" Your voice tinged with uncertainty, unsure of what he means.

"However, you need me. I know I’m not the best study partner, but I’ll run through your flashcards with you whenever you need to study," Sirius offers, his voice softening as he glances from you to Remus. “I know you guys would talk about books a lot, so I’ll read whatever book you’re reading just to discuss it with you. Whatever you want me to do, Y/n, I’ll do it.”

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

“You and Y/n were cozy on that couch,” James comments casually, his gaze fixed on the ceiling from where he's sprawled out on his bed. Sirius glances over his shoulder at him, pausing his furious writing at the desk where he's been hunched over for the last twenty minutes.

“Hm. I guess so.” Sirius replies nonchalantly, but his voice’s a subtle tension.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” James' tone carries a note of genuine concern, and Sirius immediately feels the weight of his friend's apprehension settling over the room like a heavy blanket.

“Working on my homework? Yeah, it’s probably my best one yet.” Sirius responds, his tone strained as he tries to maintain composure.

“About comforting the girl you love because she’s in love with your best mate.” James continues, his words cutting through the air like a knife. Sirius freezes, the quill leaving a streak of ink across the paper as his thoughts whirl.

He refuses to turn around and face James, not wanting to see the pitying look he knows will be on his friend's face. Instead, he runs his hand through his hair in frustration, his emotions simmering beneath the surface.

“Surprised you figured it out.” Sirius grumbles, his voice laced with a mixture of defensiveness and resignation. He doesn’t want to confront the truth about your feelings for Remus. The mere thought of you falling in love with someone other than him ignites a pang of jealousy in his chest.

He wants to correct James, to insist that you aren’t in love with Remus, but it feels futile. The reality is too close for comfort, and he can't shake the feeling of impending loss.

“About your feelings? Or hers?” James questions, his head leaning back against his headboard as he studies Sirius, his expression searching.

Sirius climbs onto his bed, letting out a sigh of frustration once his head hits his pillow, the weight of the conversation heavy on his mind. “Both,” he admits, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

“I didn’t notice until today with Y/n. She looked devastated when Adeline was all over Remus. On the other hand, I’ve known you’ve had feelings for her for years. The things you do for her, you wouldn’t do for anyone else.” James observes, his tone tinged with a mix of understanding and concern.

Sirius doesn’t know what to say in response, but deep down, he knows James is right. He’s always treated you differently, gone the extra mile for you in ways he wouldn't for anyone else. He had just hoped it wasn’t so obvious.

James sighs loudly, the weight of the situation hanging heavy in the air, “You gotta be careful, mate. You’re gonna get your feelings hurt.”

“I’d rather my feelings be hurt than hers.” Sirius responds earnestly, his voice carrying a hint of determination.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

It was official. Remus Lupin and Adeline Reyes were officially dating. The news didn’t come as a surprise; Remus had been bringing her around more often lately. She seamlessly integrated herself into your group dynamic, joining you all at breakfast some mornings and effortlessly engaging in conversation as if she had been there for years. Adeline adeptly kept pace with Sirius’ quick quips and could outwit James with a witty comeback. She was quick to include Peter whenever James unintentionally overshadowed him in conversation and was always eager to discuss the next book you planned to read.

It was horrifically frustrating.

You wanted to dislike her, but deep down, you knew it was just jealousy clouding your judgment. Adeline was undeniably genuine and sweet; you could easily envision yourself becoming good friends with her. However, every time she affectionately pressed her lips to Remus’ cheeks or leaned into his side, it felt like a sharp pang reminding you of your own feelings and the heartwrenching situation you found yourself in.

It left a bitter taste in your mouth. Just a few weeks ago, that was your spot, and you were blissfully unaware of his feelings for another girl. You felt foolish, caught off guard. Was it all in your head? Had you merely romanticized every interaction with him? Built up a scenario that never truly existed?

"Y/n, this is the third time you've spaced out. Are you alright?" Lily's concerned voice broke through your thoughts as she settled beside you on the bed. Despite James's insistence on a get-together downstairs, you found your mind drifting elsewhere. It had been a couple of weeks since Remus and Adeline declared their relationship, and ever since then, your thoughts had been in turmoil.

You shrugged, "I'm okay. I just don't think I'm up for a party tonight."

"You haven't seemed in the party mood for weeks." Marlene remarked, her attention fixed on her reflection as she applied lip gloss. Sensing something amiss, she pivoted abruptly to face you.

"Is this about Remus and Adeline?" Lily's direct question made your stomach plummet.

"I, uh—no." You stammered, feeling as startled as you looked by her inquiry.

"Godric, you're a horrible liar." Marlene remarked, tossing the tube of sparkly gloss onto her bed before striding over to her trunk and flinging it open. "It's okay to miss your best friend. You two are practically glued to each other's sides. I'm sure it's odd not spending as much time with him anymore."

Lily observed the subtle shift in your demeanor as Marlene spoke, although Marlene herself was entirely engrossed in rummaging through her clothes until she emitted a satisfied hum.

Shoving a floral sundress into your hands, Marlene declared, "Here, you're not wearing your uniform tonight. Wearing something cute will make you feel better." Your fingers traced over the silky material, white with colorful flowers scattered across it. Marlene observed as you held up the dress, eyeing the spaghetti straps and milkmaid top with uncertainty.

"It's winter, Marlene." You pointed out your tone laced with practicality.

"We're inside. But if you do get cold, I’m sure Sirius would gladly warm you up." Marlene chirped, grinning at your surprised expression.

"Sirius is not going to warm me up." You grumbled as you stood up and headed to the bathroom with the dress in hand. With the door shut, you changed out of your uniform. You had to admit, the dress was pretty. Maybe Marlene was right; wearing something cute would boost your confidence and mood.

"Are you sure? You two have been awfully cozy lately!" Lily's laughter laced her tone as she called through the door. You slipped the dress on, then twisted in front of the mirror to assess how it looked. Concluding that you liked it, you also appreciated how it made you feel slightly brighter. It reminded you of a summer spent in Italy with your parents, where you practically lived in sundresses.

You turn open the door and twirl for the girls, who squeal in appreciation. Marlene snatches the lip gloss she had tossed aside, grabbing at your cheeks to dot some on your lips.

"We haven’t been cozy. We’re just acting like friends do." You mumble, your words slightly muffled from your cheeks being squished.

“Bullshit! You never snuggled Peter, never did with James before he got himself a girlfriend,” Marlene turned to wink at Lily. “Honestly, you never did with Remus either. But you and Sirius have been all over each other.”

“We have not!” You deny it, looking to Lily for support. But she only leans back on her hands and sends you a smug smile.

"The other day, I walked into the common room with James, and you were practically asleep on Sirius’ lap while he read to you.” Lily grins.

“He was reading to you? That’s the cutest thing I have ever heard. That’s your love language right there!” Marlene's gasp was filled with awe, and you didn't know how to respond. Because you had indeed fallen asleep on his lap while Sirius twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers absentmindedly as he read Pride and Prejudice to you. You hardly comprehended the story, too focused on Sirius’ voice and his gentle touch. It was the first time in weeks that you hadn’t thought of Remus.

“It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen Sirius do.” Lily agreed, nodding in approval. “I’m telling you, he has feelings for you. I’ve thought so ever since 5th year. He pretty much confirmed it when he gave you that red tulip.”

“A declaration of love!” Marlene practically sang, her excitement contagious.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

As you reached the bottom step with Marlene and Lily, you let out a sigh. The common room was bustling, with students scattered everywhere, making the air feel stuffy and warm. You briefly pondered what James’ definition of a get-together was, because this felt more like a full-blown party.

“James said he invited hardly anyone.” You muttered to Lily, who nodded in agreement.

“He’s a social butterfly, you never know with him.” Lily replied with a shrug, craning her neck to spot James amidst the crowd. She eventually spotted him near the fireplace, engaged in lively conversation with Sirius and a few other members of the Quidditch team. You allowed Lily to lead you through the throng of people, observing the lively atmosphere around you. Marlene had already disappeared into the crowd, no doubt on a mission to find Dorcas.

You can hear him before you see him: Sirius’ hearty laugh resonates over the music and the crowd’s chatter. It's a remarkable sound, drawing attention effortlessly. And there he is, standing tall next to James by the fireplace, a drink held casually in one hand while the other gestures animatedly as he converses with the guy beside him. Clad in a simple black T-shirt, Sirius exudes a captivating charm, and you can't help but admire how good he looks in the flickering firelight.

Though you'd never admit it aloud, Lily had been onto something. You and Sirius had been spending an increasing amount of time together. True to his word, Sirius had been a genuine distraction from your heartache. The activities you once shared with Remus were gradually being replaced by moments with Sirius.

It was no longer Remus, who you sat next to in the morning. No longer Remus, who you reviewed your flashcards with. No longer Remus, who would sit with you next to Black Lake and chat about your latest book. And no longer Remus, who would hold your hand to calm your anxiety every time you had to speak up in front of the class.

But it wasn’t like you had asked Sirius to do any of these things. It was Sirius who had started it, not in an attempt to replace what you had with Remus, but to remind you that he was there for you. That he would do anything to make you feel loved. Sirius wasn’t doing any of this because he felt obligated. He did it because he wanted you to know that you weren’t alone and that he didn’t plan on leaving any time soon.

But there were things that Sirius did that Remus had never done. Every morning, a cup of your favorite tea awaited at your spot next to him. He carried one of your scrunchies in his bag because you could never keep track of them, even offering to tie your hair up for you. Each time he walked around Black Lake, he brought you back a red tulip, which you tucked into the vase on your desk next to the others. You were building up quite the collection.

Sirius bursts into laughter, but his mirth is interrupted by James' boisterous greeting. The sudden volume jerks your attention away from Sirius, and you find yourself facing Lily, who offers a halfhearted protest as James envelops her in a bear hug. You brace yourself as James turns his attention to you, lifting you up despite your protests about your dress. After he sets you down, a moment of imbalance is quickly rectified as you feel an arm slip around your waist, steadying you against someone's chest.

"He's had a few too many." Sirius whispers into your ear, his breath sending shivers down your spine. You lean into his embrace, relishing the warmth and familiarity of his touch before turning around to face him.

With your palms pressed against his chest, you offer him a warm smile. "Hi."

He still holds onto his drink, but his pointer finger slips under the strap of your dress, giving it a gentle tug. "This is cute," he murmurs, his voice now hushed compared to the near shouting from a minute ago. His eyes meet yours, and you feel a wave of warmth spread through you. No one has ever looked at you the way he's looking at you right now.

"Thank you." You reply softly, surprised at the tenderness in your own voice. But you know he hears you as he smiles before turning back to the conversation he was having with a few other guys.

Pushing down your disappointment, you adjust the straps of your dress and take a breath, scanning the room for someone else to chat with. However, Sirius surprises you by wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you gently into his side. He continues to talk, his voice much quieter this time, but the three subtle squeezes let you know he's still there if you need him.

Lily catches your eye and mouths, "I told you so."

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

You hadn't intended to eavesdrop, it was just a coincidence that you found yourself in the vicinity at that moment.

"You know, everyone thought you and Y/n were gonna get together." Peter remarks, nudging Remus in the side. Remus turns to him, likely taken aback. From your vantage point, you can't see their faces, but you recognize their silhouettes. They're seated together on one of the couches, engaged in quiet conversation amid the lively atmosphere of the party. You had briefly slipped away from Sirius to grab a drink, but now you're starting to regret your decision.

"Y/n and I?" Remus's response is laced with surprise, confirming your suspicions. You stand frozen, a few feet away from the couch, feeling your stomach plummet.

"Yeah, I think most people thought you already were. I mean, you guys spent so much time together." Peter continues, oblivious to the impact of his words. You try to avoid lingering on the past tense word.

"No, never," Remus hastily interjects. “I don’t think I could think of Y/n like that.” His words landed like a heavy blow to your chest. You feel a pang of disappointment and hurt ripple through you, sitting heavy in your stomach. With tears threatening to spill from your eyes, you pivot on your heel and stride purposefully toward your dormitory.

As you navigate through the bustling crowd, your lips utter excuse me, and I need to get through in a mechanical cadence. Each step feels heavier than the last, burdened by the weight of Remus's words and the shattered illusions they bring.

Finally, the door to your dormitory swings shut behind you with a resounding thud, the noise a stark contrast to the chaos of the party below. Alone in the silence of your room, you confront the raw emotions swirling within you, grappling with the harsh reality of unrequited feelings.

Tears blur your vision so severely that you nearly trip over your shoes in your haste to remove them. With trembling hands, you toss the covers over your body, seeking refuge in the soft embrace of your bed. You bury your face into the welcoming embrace of your pillow, heedless of the inevitable mascara stains that will be left behind. A strangled sob escapes your lips, muffled by the sanctuary of your pillow, as you grapple with the overwhelming wave of emotions crashing over you.

The noise of the party downstairs serves as a comforting cloak, allowing you to release your emotions freely and without judgment.

The abruptness with which Remus shut down any possibility of harboring feelings for you cuts deep, like a dagger to the heart. The ache in your chest feels all-consuming, a relentless reminder that you will never be with him. Despite the rational part of your mind knowing that his affection for Adeline precludes any possibility of reciprocating your feelings, the emotional turmoil still wreaks havoc on your fragile heart.

In the solitude of your room, you allow yourself to cry. With each passing moment, the ache in your chest deepens.

"Y/n? Oh, Godric." Lily exclaims, rushing to your side with concern etched across her features. She gathers your hair away from your tear-streaked face, her eyes taking in the sight before her: cheeks flushed and blotchy, mascara-tinged tears tracing down your cheeks, your hair in disarray. She had sensed something amiss when she spotted you hurrying up the stairs, but the depth of your distress caught her off guard.

"Y/n, what can I do? Do you want a glass of water? Can I, uh..." Lily's voice trembles with worry as she looks around the room, searching for anything that might bring you comfort. She's witnessed your tears before, but never like this, leaving her feeling utterly helpless.

"I don't need water. Can you..." Your voice breaks, choked with emotion, making it difficult to articulate your thoughts.

Lily watches as you clutch your pillow tighter, waiting for your next words. "Can I what?" She prompts gently.

"I just need..." You falter, another sob escaping your lips. "Sirius. I need Sirius."

Without hesitation, Lily nods, determined to find Sirius and bring him to your side. As she exits your dorm, you sink deeper into your pillow, allowing the tears to flow freely. Your mind races with questions, grappling with how to face Remus again and feign normalcy.

You're not completely taken aback by his words; the past few weeks have allowed you to gradually accept that Remus may not share your feelings. Yet, processing this realization privately was less painful than hearing his firm denial of any possibility of reciprocation. Perhaps there's a tinge of sorrow in acknowledging this truth, as it signifies a shift in your relationship with Remus—one that might never be quite the same again. Accepting this reality proves to be a bitter pill to swallow.

"Angel," Your body instinctively relaxes at the soothing sound of Sirius’s voice. The pillow is gently drawn from your grip, revealing Sirius’ concerned face as it comes into view. "What can I do? What do you need?" he asks, his tone brimming with genuine concern and care.

Kneeling by the side of your bed, his eyes brim with concern, evoking emotion that threatens to overwhelm you once more. You lie on your side, facing him, your makeup smudged and your eyes swollen from tears. Despite your disheveled appearance, he finds you the most beautiful girl in the world.

"Hold on." He murmurs softly before disappearing into your bathroom. The sound of running water fills the silence, a gentle reminder of his comforting presence. Moments later, he returns with a damp cloth in hand, his touch gentle yet firm as he kneels before you. With tender care, he cradles your jaw, his movements deliberate as he gently wipes away the remnants of makeup from your face, his actions speaking volumes of his unwavering support and affection.

"All clean," he whispers softly, discarding the cloth onto the ground with the intention of dealing with it later. "What do you need?"

"You." You sniffle, tugging gently at his hand to convey your desire for him to join you in bed. Without hesitation, Sirius kicks off his shoes and slips under the covers beside you. With a tender gesture, he reaches out, his hand gently brushing the hair away from your face as he settles in beside you. Your faces hover mere inches apart, a tantalizing proximity that he tries to distract from by focusing on the simple task of brushing your hair away, the urge to kiss you tugging at the corners of his mind.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pull you away from the party." You murmur apologetically, your gaze meeting his. His eyes snap to yours, a flicker of offense crossing his features.

"I would drop anything for you." He responds earnestly, his sincerity shining through in his words, leaving no room for doubt. A sharp inhale escapes your lips as you stare back at him, the weight of his commitment settling between you.

"What happened, angel?" he asks gently, his eyes reflecting a hint of guilt for prying. As your eyes well up with tears once more, Sirius feels a pang of remorse for pressing the matter. He's about to apologize and suggest forgetting about it when you offer an answer, leaving him momentarily speechless.

"I overheard Peter and Remus." You confess, your voice trembling with vulnerability. Sirius forces down the surge of jealousy that threatens to consume him at the mention of Remus.

"Peter told him that everyone thought he and I would get together." You continue, your words hanging in the air, heavy with disappointment and hurt. Sirius listens attentively, his heart aching for the pain etched in your voice.

"Remus told him that he couldn’t ever see me like that." You reveal, your voice wavering with emotion. "I know it’s stupid since he has a girlfriend, but-" You pause to draw in a shuddering breath, and Sirius gently brushes away the tears that cascade down your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose.

"It hurt," you confess, the rawness of your emotions laid bare. "That he’s never once seen me the way I have always seen him. We’ve always been just friends, and it sucks." Each word carries the weight of your longing and disappointment.

Sirius sighs, his voice tinged with empathy, "I love Remus, I do, but he can be blind sometimes. So in his head and down on himself that he misses what’s in front of him. And he truly missed out on the most perfect girl there is. But I promise you that there is a guy out there who will recognize what an angel you are, and he won’t ever let you go."

Your eyes well up with tears again, and Sirius starts to panic that he said something wrong. But then you're wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your head into the crook of his neck.

Your voice is muffled as you speak, "Please stay here with me tonight?"

"Whatever you want, angel." Sirius responds tenderly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, knowing there is no way he’d ever be able to deny you.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

James looks bewildered. "You aren’t going to sit with us?" he asks, confusion evident in his voice.

You stand behind your typical spot, observing the boys' reactions as they stare at you as though you've just delivered the worst news imaginable. For years, ever since you had met the boys, you had been sitting with them every day. This spot held a sense of familiarity and comfort, a symbol of your friendship with them. Thus, your decision to sit with the girls today comes as a major surprise.

Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas occupy seats further down the table. While they would occasionally join your circle, especially after Lily and James got together, Lily had once confided in you that she valued having space and prioritizing her friendships, too; she didn’t want to spend all her time with James. To everyone's surprise, James had been okay with this arrangement and had even agreed.

“I’m going to sit down the table with the girls. You’ll still be able to see me; we can wave at each other!” You offer James a hopeful smile, but he shakes his head, letting out a dramatic sigh.

Pointing his fork in your direction, James asserts, “It’s not the same, and you know it.”

“Sit with us, I feel like I hardly see you.” Remus protests and your stomach sinks as you make eye contact with him. Ever since you overheard Remus tell Peter he didn’t have feelings for you, you had been finding every excuse possible to avoid him.

It’s been a week since the party, and you can now admit that you've successfully avoided any alone time with Remus. By now, it's clear he senses something amiss. Every time he tries to approach you, you have an excuse ready for why you can't study together again or why you can't chat. What's worse is that it's only him you're avoiding. You still engage in normal chats with Peter in the common room and banter back and forth with James as usual. And Sirius, well, you hardly leave his side. Wherever you go, Sirius isn't far away, a constant presence by your side.

Not only that, but it seemed as if you couldn't get enough of each other—cuddled up on the common room couch, shoulder to shoulder during meals, and always side by side while walking to Black Lake. Sirius and you were growing increasingly closer with each passing day.

It was driving Remus crazy.

He looks at you pleadingly, his expression betraying the torment of seeing you drift away from him. You know his distress can't stem solely from your decision to sit with the girls. He started pulling away first, you think bitterly.

"Just wanted to spend some time with the girls, switch things up." You explain with a casual shrug, feeling a sense of awkwardness creeping over you as you shift on your feet. Remus wears a disappointed expression, while James and Peter appear to have already moved on, engaged in a bickering match over who gets the last orange.

"You've been switching things up quite a bit lately." Remus grumbles under his breath, his voice barely audible over the morning chatter in the dinning hall. Only Adeline catches his words as she pulls away to glance at his face, startled by the bitterness in his tone. Unaware of her scrutiny, Remus remains fixated on you, his expression betraying a mixture of longing and frustration.

"Okay, well, I’ll catch you guys later." You announce with a smile, and at that moment, Sirius glances up at you. He wants to tell you how much he'll miss you. Every morning, he eagerly anticipates the sight of your smile, the way you playfully bump your shoulder into his once you take your spot beside him. Your laughter and sweet smile are the highlights of his morning routine.

He'd gladly join you for breakfast with the girls if you asked.

To everyone's surprise, you sling your arms around Sirius' shoulders and tilt your head forward, looking at him from the side. Caught off guard, Sirius freezes in your embrace, trying desperately not to read too much into your unexpected touch.

"I'll wait for you so we can walk to class together. I'll miss you." You whisper, your lips pressing gently onto his cheek. A faint pink sheen of your lipgloss remains on his skin in the shape of your lips, a subtle reminder of your affection.

Before he can respond, you're already pulling away, leaving Sirius to watch you walk back to the girls. His cheeks flush, his mouth slightly parted in surprise. Remus narrows his eyes at the mark you've left behind while Adeline observes the interaction between Sirius and Remus, sensing Remus's agitation.

James lets out a low whistle. "She'll miss you, will she?" he remarks, his tone laced with amusement and curiosity.

“Oh fuck off, mate.” Sirius grumbles before taking a sip of his tea to try and hide his smile.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

You sigh, slumping down in your chair, "I don’t think I can handle another flashcard."

Sirius glances up from across the table, finding you lost in contemplation as you stare out the window. It's midday, and the sun's gentle rays illuminate the library, casting a warm glow despite the lingering chill outside. You both share the longing to step into the crisp air outdoors, yet Sirius remained steadfast in his commitment to assisting you with your studies.

"Do you wanna take a break?" Sirius asks, his gaze meeting yours as you glance up from the pile of books and notes spread out before you. Your lips press together, betraying the weight of your internal debate about whether you can afford to step away from your tasks.

"Come on, we can go for a walk." He encourages, his tone gentle yet persuasive as he begins to gather his belongings, preparing to pack his bag.

You concede, “A quick walk.”

The fresh air and the warmth of the sun against your skin felt rejuvenating after spending hours cooped up in the library. Your body ached, and your brain felt numb from the relentless studying. The only thing that kept you going was Sirius, who would slip you pieces of chocolate every time you answered a question correctly. Without him, you would have abandoned your studies hours ago.

As you walk, both of you are enveloped in a quiet tranquility, lost in your own thoughts. It's a comfortable silence, where neither of you feels compelled to fill the gaps with conversation. Instead, you simply bump into each other occasionally, exchanging shy smiles that speak volumes without a single word being uttered.

"Where are you taking me, Black?" You finally inquire, noting the direction as you pass Black Lake. You stroll leisurely, savoring the symphony of birdsong in the trees and the distant chatter of other students gradually fading into the background. Leaves shudder in response to the gentle breeze, prompting you to wrap your robes tighter around your body. Winter is approaching, and the biting chill in the air serves as a stark reminder of the season's impending arrival.

Sirius smiles in response, his expression warm and inviting, "Somewhere I think you'll like."

"Have I been there before?" You cast a glance at him, observing his wind-blown hair, cheeks flushed pink from the cold, and his bottom lip gently caught between his teeth.

"I hope not." He responds honestly, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability. The possibility lingers, given that the boys are familiar with this field as well. The mere thought of Remus bringing you here tightens his chest. After all, you and Remus often took walks together, so it wouldn't be too surprising if he had.

Would Remus have brought you here, though? Sirius contemplates quietly. He's never heard you mention it, but he knows you would have. You've always cherished exploring the castle and eagerly shared your discoveries with the boys.

Sirius is startled when you suddenly gasp, excitement laced in your tone, "Oh my Godric. Is that a field of tulips?"

Sirius feels his heart swell at the excitement in your voice. Before he can respond, you stride ahead of him, drawn to the swath of red flowers like a magnet. He remains where he stands, content to watch you as you explore the vibrant field.

A pang of longing washes over him as he wishes he had Lily's muggle camera. This moment would undoubtedly be captured and proudly displayed above his desk among his collection of Polaroids.

"C'mere!" You call out excitedly, your hand extended towards him. Sirius grins, his heart lightening at your enthusiasm as he walks over to join you. Once he reaches you, he gladly grasps your hand, feeling a rush of warmth at the connection.

You lead him further into the field, your laughter carrying on the gentle breeze. Finally, you drop into the middle of the sea of tulips, tugging him along with you, and for a moment, the world feels suspended in the beauty of the moment.

Tilting your head towards the sun, you sigh happily. "I didn’t know this was here," you remark, your voice filled with wonder.

"Found it with the boys a couple of weeks ago." Sirius responds, his fingers idly twirling a blade of grass he plucked from the ground.

"Did you pick the tulips you gave me from here?" You inquire, your voice soft with curiosity. Sirius nods in response, a faint blush gracing his cheeks as he recalls the memory. He's relieved that your eyes are still closed, blissfully unaware of his flustered state.

For a few minutes, a comfortable silence settles between you both, allowing the tranquility of the moment to envelop you like a warm embrace.

"Can I tell you something?" You ask, tilting your head back down to look at him, your gaze soft yet curious.

"Anything," Sirius replies, his voice filled with warmth and genuine interest.

"I've never been given flowers before. Whenever you give me a tulip, it's the highlight of my day." You admit softly, shifting so you're sitting with your legs crossed, a vulnerable honesty coloring your words.

"You've never been given flowers? Ever?" Sirius questions, his surprise evident in his tone and expression. You shake your head in response, confirming his disbelief.

He can't even fathom it. How could no one ever have given you flowers before? How does the girl who constantly doodles flowers on her notes never receive them? The thought perplexes him, stirring a mix of incredulity and a newfound determination to ensure you receive the appreciation you deserve.

"Guess I'll be making up for that then." Sirius decides, his voice showing determination as he sends you a devastating smile. Your stomach flutters at the sight.

"Sirius." you say softly, drawing his attention.

"What, angel?" He responds, his tone gentle and attentive.

"Thank you. For being by my side through everything." You express with sincerity, your voice filled with gratitude.

In the past few weeks, Sirius has been a constant presence by your side. Whenever Remus kissed Adeline, Sirius would offer a comforting touch, silently understanding your feelings. He'd weave silly stories to divert your attention from Adeline's flirtations with Remus, ensuring you never felt alone for even a moment.

He grins in response, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

“Nowhere else, huh?” Your tone is teasing, and Sirius merely rolls his eyes at you, a playful glint dancing in his eyes. You observe him as he picks tulips one by one, gradually assembling a bundle in his hand. Watching him put together a bouquet that you know he will give you fills you with a sense of anticipation. Everything about sitting in a field of flowers with Sirius makes you feel lightheaded as if you're caught in a blissful dream.

Come to think of it, lately, every time Sirius did something for you, it left you feeling dizzy.

"You know it's true. I ditched Hogsmeade this weekend to spend time with you in the library." Sirius says, a hint of amusement in his voice as he recalls the decision.

"That's true, but I did advise you against it. I doubt a day in the library is much of a weekend highlight for you." You reply, raising an eyebrow playfully.

"If you think seeing you surrounded by a field of flowers isn't a weekend highlight, then you're sorely mistaken. Easily a monthly highlight for me." Sirius adds, his eyes sparkling with fondness as he gazes at you amidst the scenic beauty.

“You flirt.” You giggle, your laughter echoing in the tranquil atmosphere, before reclining on the grass and shutting your eyes.

Sirius' features soften at your playful remark. "Only for my favorite girl," he responds tenderly, his voice carrying warmth and affection as he watches over you.

What started as a short walk stretched into two hours spent in the flower field, immersed in conversation and selecting the loveliest blooms together. By the end, Sirius presented you with a bundle of tulips in various hues. Upon entering your dorm room with the flowers in hand, Lily's gasp was so pronounced that it startled you.

“Tell me that Sirius got you those.”

"He picked them for me." You beam, offering the bouquet to Lily for her admiration. "I mean, I helped too, but it was mostly him.”

“Who knew that he was such a romantic?” Marlene gushed, sitting next to Lily on her bed to take a peek.

“I told you he’s into you! Look at these flowers!” Lily cried out, flopping back onto her bed with the flowers pressed into her chest. Marlene laughs from beside her.

You rolled your eyes affectionately, “We're just friends.” Marlene scoffs.

"No, you're not. That little stunt at breakfast you pulled this morning. Hugging him from behind and kissing him? Definitely not platonic." Marlene remarks, her tone teasing yet observant. Embarrassment floods through you; you hadn't planned on being so affectionate with Sirius; it just happened. You're grateful Sirius didn't bring it up; you probably would have collapsed if he had.

"I just kissed his cheek!" you defend, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks.

Lily grins mischievously. "You should've seen how he looked at you when you walked away."

"Totally lovesick!" Marlene exclaims, adding her enthusiastic agreement to Lily's observation.

"Both of you are being ridiculous. He doesn’t have feelings for me, and even if he did, I need to get over Remus first." Taking the bouquet from Lily, you stride toward your desk to add them to your glass jar full of other flowers. You're almost out of the room. Soon you’ll have to pluck out the ones that are dropping, but you don’t have the heart to do it yet.

The girls were fully aware of the situation. You explained to them why you were so upset the morning after the party. There was no way you could have pretended like something wasn’t wrong. With Sirius sleeping in your bed and your swollen eyes, there was no hiding anything.

"First?" Lily's voice carries a hint of excitement, exchanging a giddy look with Marlene.

You pivot, leaning against your desk. "What?"

"You said first. Like once you get over Remus, you could see yourself being with Sirius."

"No, I didn't." You protest, embarrassment flooding your stomach.

Marlene's grin widens mischievously as she exchanges a knowing glance with Lily. "Oh, but you did. We both heard you."

A nervous laugh escapes your lips as you playfully roll your eyes, "Oh, fuck off, guys.”

Your friends continue to tease you, their laughter filling the room. Perhaps you were starting to form feelings for Sirius, but you preferred to keep them close to your heart, away from the probing eyes of Lily and Marlene, who always seemed to pick up on every subtle shift in your emotions.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

“There you are! I was worried sick!” James exclaims as Sirius opens the door to the dorm. Remus glances up from his book, while Peter remains focused on his homework, unfazed by James' dramatics. Sirius, lost in memories of his afternoon with you, barely registers James' words as he flops onto his bed, a goofy smile lingering on his lips.

It's only when James tosses his pillow at Sirius that he snaps back to reality.

“Oi! What was that for?” Sirius protests, finally acknowledging James' presence with a bemused expression.

“You’re ignoring me!” James accuses, crossing his arms.

Sirius stammers, “I wasn’t! I was just-“

James interrupts, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Daydreaming about Y/n? What did you two get up to anyways?”

Remus stiffens, lowering his book to look at Sirius, “You were with Y/n today?”

Sirius sits back up and exchanges a tense glance with Remus, “Yeah, I was.”

He turns to James, “Helped her study a bit.” He neglects to mention the flower field, wanting to keep that memory to himself. Plus, he knows the boys will tease them every chance they get.

James stares at Sirius, incredulity flashing across his face. "That's all? Sounds boring. Should've come to Hogsmeade with us."

Sirius is about to respond when Remus interjects, his tone betraying a hint of disbelief. "I'm sorry. You turned down Hogsmeade to study? With Y/n?" His eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

Sirius shrugs, his tone nonchalant. "No need, mate. I've got her."

Remus furrows his brow, considering Sirius's response. "I can still ask her, give her another option," he suggests casually, but there's an undertone of something that Sirius can't quite decipher.

Sirius tenses, meeting Remus's gaze head-on. He's unsure if Remus is hinting at something deeper or if he's simply offering another study option. Nevertheless, Sirius feels a pang of reluctance at the thought of giving up his time with you, even for studying.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Peter huffed, practically slamming himself on the couch next to you, his frustration evident in the way he dropped onto the couch. “Remus and Adeline are getting on my last nerve.”

James glanced up from where he was sitting across from you, his attention momentarily diverted from the game of cards. His eyebrows raised in curiosity as he observed Peter's demeanor. "They makin’ out in the dorm again?" he questioned, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

You turn your head to hide your reaction, your stomach churning with familiar discomfort. After nearly two months of their relationship, you still felt uneasy hearing about them together, effectively reminding you of your lingering feelings for Remus.

It would be a lie to say that your feelings for Remus hadn’t changed. In fact, you were beginning to notice a subtle shift in your perspective, a gradual easing of the discomfort that once swarmed your chest at the sight of him and Adeline together. That twinge of jealousy you used to feel when looking at them was easing up, instead being replaced by a dull ache in your chest.

You found yourself increasingly preoccupied with thoughts of Sirius, his image and the memories of your time together occupying your mind more frequently than before. You caught yourself smiling at the little moments you shared, replaying conversations and gestures, finding comfort in the warmth of his presence even when he wasn't around.

Peter shook his head against the cushion, his expression irritated. "No, they’re bickering. They've been at it for nearly twenty minutes. Couldn’t get a damn thing done on this essay.”

James wore a look of surprise as he arched his eyebrow, “They’re fighting?”

Peter looked away from the fire to glance over at James blankly, “No, bickering. There’s a difference.” His tone is matter-of-fact and laced with frustration.

“We’ll be quiet, Peter. Work on your essay.” You promise, sending the blond boy a soft smile.

James’ lips curve in a mischievous grin, eyes lit up with amusement, “Guess all relationships have to come out of the honeymoon phase.” He quips, tone playful with satisfaction. Peter sighs, tipping his head back onto the headrest of the couch like he can’t take anymore.

“James, it’s your turn.” You call, the gentle tap of your pointer finger against the cards catches his attention. His eyes flicker down to the cards sprawled between you both before glancing back up at you.

“Did you at least appreciate my pun?” He asks, a hopeful upturn of his lips present.

“It was wonderful.” You affirm, voice soft as if you’re telling a young child that their artwork is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.

James’s face lights up with a satisfied smile, and his voice is full of teasing gratitude, “Thank you, Y/n. I knew you would have my back.”

“What does she have your back about?” Sirius’ voice cuts through the air, his sudden appearance causing you and James to glance over at him. Peter opens one eye as Sirius sits on the couch next to him.

James stares at the cards while debating his next move, “She appreciates me for who I am. Maybe you should take some notes from her.”

Sirius hardly hears James. Instead, his eyes flicker over to you. He finds himself entranced by the subtle movements of your features, the way your eyebrows furrow in playful impatience as you await James to decide. The glow from the fire is dancing over your face, and he has the urge to reach out and touch your cheek, tracing over where the heat has touched. You look gorgeous like this, drenched in the soft light of the fire and so at ease. The words are at the tip of his tongue, but he swallows them down.

As your eyes meet his, a gentle smile graces your lips, and Sirius feels his stomach flip and heart stutter. You’re looking at him with so much warmth that you could rival the fire next to you, and he knows he never wants to forget the way you’re looking at him.

Amidst the crackle of the fire and the soft murmurs of the surrounding conversations, it’s then that Sirius is struck by the sudden realization that sends shockwaves throughout his entire body. He is hit with the truth that he’s been avoiding for ages; he is entirely and desperately in love with you.

Sirius grapples with a fact that feels almost suffocating in its intensity. His gaze falls to his lap, the reality of his situation weighing heavily upon him. He’s in love with a girl who holds feelings for someone else. Not just someone else, but Remus. His best mate, who, as of lately, has shown increasing concern about the nature of your relationship with Sirius. The way he pinches his brows together when you laugh at a joke Sirius makes, the subtle shifts in his demeanor whenever you show Sirius affection- it’s all Sirius can focus on. Remus sees you in a different light, and it’s making Sirius uneasy.

And so, he sits in silence, grappling with the truth that he’s fallen for a girl that will never be his.

“Sirius,” You say softly, your hand gently resting atop his, hoping to bring him back from his thoughts. His eyes dart up to meet yours, and you smile softly. “You okay? You’re quiet.”

No, he isn’t.

But instead, he offers a reassuring smile and squeezes your hand, “I’m okay, angel. Just tired.”

“Not too tired to lose to me in cards, are you?” James interjects, sporting a cocky grin and cracking his knuckles in intimidation. “I’m tired of playing with Y/n. She wins every time.”

Sirius laughs, hauling himself off the couch to sit beside you both before shuffling the cards.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

“Y/n.” You startle at Remus’ voice, nearly spilling your cup of tea down your front. He sends you a soft smile, sitting beside you on the couch. You set your tea on the table next to you. Sitting up and shifting your legs to the side and underneath you, you make room for him. The way you were stretched out before hardly allowed him any room.

“Rem.” You greet him, sending him a gentle smile. The corners of his mouth lift at the nickname; he hasn’t heard it for a while.

He leans back against the couch, gaze firm on you, “How was your day?” His voice is gentle and soothing. His voice was always one of your favorite things about him, always a source of comfort to you.

“It’s been alright, not too much to say about it,” Your left shoulder lifts up into a shrug, and you rest your right arm against the couch to prop your head up. Bodies both facing each other. “How was yours?”

“James nearly singed off my eyebrows in potions,” He says amusedly. He’s got bags under his, and his body seems tired. You cringe when you remember the full moon was just a few days ago.

“Not entirely surprising,” You remark with a laugh, mind trailing to all the times James had proved himself not the best partner. As much as you loved James, his tendency to get distracted had cost you during classes plenty of times before.

“How’s Adeline?” You ask politely, the words coming out with practiced ease despite the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach. Remus’s smile falters, and he lets out a sigh, gaze drifting away from you.

“I don’t know.” He admits, hand coming up to run through his hair. He won’t meet your eye.

“You don’t know?” Your brow is quirks in curiosity, and genuine concern is etched onto your features. Memories of Peter complaining about the two bickering flickers back from a week ago.

“She’s not happy,” Remus confesses, his tone is heavy with resignation. “Disappearing for a couple days doesn’t exactly make me boyfriend of the year.”

You nod sympathetically. You understand, if you were in the dark about your boyfriend’s whereabouts for a couple days, you would be upset as well.

“Are you going to tell her?” You asked gently. It felt weird to talk to Remus again after going nearly two months without much interaction. All your time used to be spent with Remus, but Sirius seems to have taken that spot nowadays.

His gaze meets yours as he nervously bites at his bottom lip, he seems apprehensive,“I don’t know if she could handle it.”

“Rem,” You begin, voice soft and resolute, a reflection of the support you have always offered him. Despite the change in your relationship, your commitment to being there for him remains. “She deserves to know, especially if the two of you want to be together.”

His brows are pinched tightly together as he wrings his hands together, “What if she doesn’t take it well? What if she tells-”

You interject gently, “You’ve been dating two months, you should have a feel for how she would react.”

He meets your eye with an uncertainty, “Y/n.”

“Yeah?” You respond, voice quiet.

“I don’t know if I can tell her. I don’t think it will be as easy as telling you was.”

“You shouldn’t compare her to me.”

“But I do.” Remus whispers, the gravity of his admission catching you off guard. His shoulders are hunched over as he rests his elbows on his knees, hands still nervously wringing together as he looks over at you.

Your breath is caught in your throat. You break eye contact to clear your throat, shifting uneasily on the couch.

“Adeline is your girlfriend, and I’m just your friend. You really shouldn’t compare us, Rem. If you want to be with Adeline, you should really think about telling her.” You murmur, truth stinging as it leaves your mouth.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Marlene sighs, her voice laced with playful incredulity, "Sometimes I wonder how James Potter managed to get you." Sirius barks out a laugh from his spot across from you, his amusement echoing around the room. Lily's mischievous grin widens as she shoots a playful wink at Marlene, enjoying the banter.

"I'm a damn catch, McKinnon!" James retorts dramatically, pulling Lily even closer into his side, the affection between them palpable. Lily leans up to press a kiss on James’ jaw, a tender moment amidst the playful teasing.

"That lapdance you just gave your girlfriend? Horrific." Marlene shakes her head with exaggerated disdain, her expression a mix of amusement and mock disgust.

"If you didn't wanna see it, then you wouldn't have dared me to do it," James fires back with a smirk, the competitive edge still in his tone.

You're all gathered in a circle, indulging in a juvenile game of truth or dare. The boys took charge, rearranging the furniture into a circle so everyone could sit comfortably.

Marlene had insisted upon it, likely hoping to be roped into a dare that would bring her closer to Dorcas.

You're seated on one of the couches beside Lily, with James on her other side and Peter beside him. Adeline occupies the space to Peter’s left, seated next to Remus on one of the smaller couches. Sirius has claimed an armchair for himself. Marlene and Dorcas are cozied up in another armchair, much to Marlene's delight over the seating arrangement.

While Remus had yet to tell Adeline about his lycanthropy, he was attempting to make amends with her. You sent him a sweet smile and thumbs up when you saw them walking in together. It was clearly tense between the two, but that was to be expected.

Amidst the laughter and playful exchanges, you had failed to notice the tension simmering between Sirius and Remus, evident in the disgruntled glances they exchanged at being seated next to each other.

James turns to you with a devious grin, “My sweet Y/n, you will be picking dare.”

“Excuse me? You can’t pick for me!” You retort, sending James an incredulous look.

“But I have the best dare for you!” James insists, leaning closer with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“No.” You refuse, shaking your head slightly.

“Y/n, please.” He pleads, attempting to send you puppy dog eyes. Marlene snorts from beside you.

Lily sighs, “Y/n, do the dare. He will beg you all night.” You roll your eyes, letting out a sigh that immediately lets James know you have given in.

“Kiss the person you are most attracted to in this room.” Your stomach sinks like a stone, regretting your lack of resistance to James. The group around you comes alive with oohs, except for Remus and Sirius, who sit uneasily, their expressions displaying discomfort.

“Absolutely not. I can’t!” Sirius feels sick. You’re refusing because you can’t kiss Remus- that has to be it.

“Sorry, can’t back out now! Make your way over to the lucky guy.” James sounds far too cheery to be sorry.

The tension in the air becomes palpable as everyone awaits your decision. You draw in a deep breath, summoning your courage before rising to your feet and crossing the room toward him. The anticipation is almost tangible as your friends murmur excitedly, their eyes fixed on you.

You come to a sudden halt, feeling your knees bump against his as he instinctively sits straighter in his chair. Sensing your approach, he spreads his thighs slightly, silently inviting you to take the space between them. His demeanor shifts, a mix of anticipation and apprehension evident in his expression.

"Might make it easier if you sit in his lap." Marlene suggests with a mischievous grin, earning a pointed glare from you over your shoulder.

"You can, angel," he murmurs sweetly, reaching out to gently grasp your hand, his touch reassuring and electric.

You let out a shaky sigh, feeling a rush of nerves as you ease yourself into his lap, your knees sinking into the cushion and your thighs naturally bracketing his. Ignoring the whistles and playful comments that ring out from your friends, you focus on the warmth of his body beneath you, the steady rhythm of his breath, and the way his hands hover uncertainly before settling lightly on your hips.

"We're waiting!" James calls out, amusement laced in his tone, his eyes sparkling with mischief. Feeling a rush of determination, you gently bring your hand to his cheek, the warmth of his skin sending a shiver down your spine and lowering your head towards his. He's quick to meet you, his breath mingling with yours, noses bumping softly in a moment of sweet anticipation.

He's patient, his breath mingling with yours as he waits for you to make the first move. With a tender touch, you tilt your face closer, feeling the gentle brush of your lips against his in the softest kiss. For a fleeting moment, you both linger there, foreheads pressed together, lost in the moment’s intimacy.

“Tell me this isn’t because you couldn’t kiss him.” His voice is raspy, filled with longing, sending your mind spiraling. His voice is quiet, ensuring that no one will hear him but you.

“You’re the only one I thought of.” You admit softly, hoping you don’t sound nearly as wrecked as you feel.

Sirius surges forward, his lips meeting yours with a passion that catches you off guard, causing a surprised moan to settle in your throat, lost in the whirlwind of sensations and emotions. Your friends' whistles and hollers fade into the background, overshadowed by the intensity of your focus on Sirius.

Your fingers weave through his hair, a silent plea to draw him closer, to merge the space between you. His hand glides from your hip, settling tenderly against your cheek, his thumb tracing gentle circles across your skin. When you roll your hips involuntarily, Sirius lets out a tortured groan and your blood simmers.

"Okay, okay! We've seen enough!" James hollers, his voice breaking you both out of the moment. As James's voice echoes through the air, you part from Sirius, the gravity of what you have both just done settles in. Your chests heave in unison, lips swollen from kisses and cheeks flushed.

Frozen, you and Sirius sit there, stunned, oblivious to the teasing of your friends. The air crackles with tension as you both lock gazes, the desire to lean in and kiss him again overwhelming you.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Your mind remains frazzled in the aftermath of kissing Sirius. No matter how much you attempt to push it away, it's as though your body stubbornly clings to the memory of his lips upon yours, as if you're still nestled in his lap, feeling the gentle pressure of his hands on your hips. Both of you exchanged shy smiles as you gently slid off his lap, yet inside, your stomach churned with disappointment at the prospect of returning to your previous seat. Truthfully, you wanted to linger longer, to settle beneath his arm, and remain close to him.

In all honesty, Remus didn't even flicker into your thoughts when James issued his dare. The realization of this truth sends a shiver down your spine. When had Sirius managed to steal the place in your thoughts that Remus had held for so long?

Perhaps it was in the way he had cared for you like no one else ever had.

The sight of a steaming cup of tea, reliably waiting for you in your designated spot at the table. Even when he could have been enjoying himself in Hogsmeade, he chose to stay behind and help you study, just because you mentioned not having Remus to study with. And the simple yet heartfelt gesture of presenting you with fresh tulips just because you mentioned you had never gotten flowers before.

How had you moved on from Remus without even noticing? Perhaps that subtle ache in your chest whenever you glanced at Remus and Adeline stemmed from the change in friendship between you both. Maybe those tear-filled initial weeks spent with Sirius comforting you were a form of grieving the relationship that could never be with Remus.

While Sirius helped you to get over Remus, he had been gently guiding you toward developing feelings for him instead without even realizing it.

After watching your kiss with Sirius, Remus withdrew from the game entirely. The memory of your intimate moment with Sirius replayed incessantly in his mind, each repetition adding to the sting in his chest. In a fleeting moment of vulnerability, he had allowed himself to entertain the hope that it might have been him you chose to kiss. However, the presence of Adeline at his side swiftly extinguished that flicker of optimism, leaving him feeling profoundly disappointed and conflicted with himself.

The sight of Sirius enveloping you in his arms, and the undeniable chemistry between the two of you, stirred a thick feeling of dread in his stomach.

Each soft kiss, each exchanged glance, seemed to intensify the bitter pang of jealousy gnawing at his insides. It was as though a veil had been lifted, revealing a reality he had been trying to deny—the depth of his feelings for you. And the realization that he might lose you for good.

"Remus! Truth or dare?" Dorcas inquired, her eyes alight with mischief.

Remus let out a resigned sigh; he wasn't particularly in the mood to deal with a dare.

"Truth," he replied, hoping for a relatively simple question.

Dorcas wasted no time in posing her question, a soft smile playing on her lips. "Who was your first big crush?"

The simplicity of the question drew an immediate protest from James. "Lame!" he squawked, his tone dripping with dissatisfaction. "Ask him something better."

Marlene swiftly came to Dorcas's defense, her voice laced with defiance. "Back off, James," she retorted sharply. "She can ask whatever the hell she wants,” She bit out before turning to Dorcas. “Great question, love." Her words sounded entirely lovesick.

"Uh, my first big crush was Y/n." Remus confessed, his gaze darting toward you, eager to gauge your reaction amidst the tension. However, he failed to notice the subtle tensing of Adeline beside him, her expression morphing into one of disbelief as his words hung in the air.

Your brows furrowed, a mixture of confusion and frustration etched across your features as you processed Remus's unexpected admission. The weight of his words lingered, casting a palpable awkwardness over the group as you responded with an unimpressed look.

Sirius felt a surge of nausea rising within him, his gaze narrowing at Remus before anxiously darting over to you, waiting with bated breath to see how you would react to Remus's unexpected confession. Each second felt like an eternity as he searched for any sign of your thoughts or emotions, his heart pounding in his chest with a mixture of dread and anticipation.

As he watched your expression carefully, Sirius couldn't help but wonder what you were thinking. Were you filled with hope at his confession? Did you still want him?

“That’s not funny, Rem.” You retort, sending him an entirely unimpressed look.

“I’m not joking.” He insists, his voice has a hint of vulnerability in it. Adeline sends him an incredulous look, but his eyes are solely trained on you.

“That’s bullshit.” You countered, your voice laced with frustration as you pushed back. The tension between you and Remus was palpable, your friends watching both of you carefully. Unsure if they should intervene or not.

“It’s not. Started fourth year, I liked you for years.” Remus confesses, hand tugging through his hair in frustration.

“You said you would never have feelings for me.” Your brows are pinched in disbelief, your voice filled with hurt and frustration.

Remus looks entirely confused, “What are you talking about?”

“With Peter! At the party like a month ago.” You exclaim, memory fresh in your mind. While your feelings for Remus may have faded, the pain from his words hadn’t.

Remus shakes his head slowly, eyes searching yours for understanding, “I never said that, love.”

“You did. You told Peter, ‘I don’t think I could ever think about Y/n like that.’” You reiterated, your voice tinged with disappointment as Remus’s expression faltered, his own words echoing back to him.

“You didn’t hear the rest then.” He says, his voice filled with regret and desperation for you to understand.

Your frustration has bubbled to the surface, “Oh, great. So glad I didn’t stay to hear you continue about how awful it is that everyone thought we would end up together.” Your words are a mixture of sarcasm and hurt

"Y/n, I-" Remus began, his voice trailing off as you cut him off with a sharp interruption.

"Do you know what that feels like? To hear your best friend talk about you with so much disgust?" you demanded, the hurt evident in your voice as you confronted him head-on.

"I wasn’t disgusted!" Remus protested, his own frustration rising to meet yours. "You didn’t hear the rest!" he insisted, his tone tinged with desperation as he struggled to convey his side of the story.

"What else did you say?" It was Adeline who broke the tense silence, her voice cutting through the air like a knife. Remus's gaze shifted to her, startled by her sudden interjection. Her expression was one of disbelief, her brows furrowed and her arms crossed tightly over her chest, a silent testament to her own confusion and dismay at the unfolding situation.

"I said I didn’t think I could think about you like that because of-" Remus's voice faltered, his words hanging in the charged air. You leaned forward, your frustration palpable as you awaited his explanation, your gaze unwavering as you demanded clarity.

"Because of what, Remus?" You pressed, the tension thickening with each passing moment. Remus's eyes darted briefly to Sirius, a flicker of hesitation betraying his inner turmoil, but you caught the movement.

Sensing the rising tension, you glanced over at Sirius, who watches Remus with a tense look. His expression carried a silent message. Urging Remus to choose his words carefully.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Sirius grits out, his voice laced with a raw edge of warning. Remus's uncertainty is evident as he grapples with what he’s just implied.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Adeline's voice trembles with devastation as she poses the question, her heart laid bare in the vulnerability of the moment. Sirius's reaction is immediate; he stands up abruptly, his movements tense with unspoken frustration as he strides towards the stairs, refusing to linger for Remus's response.

“Sirius.” You call out desperately, rising to your feet swiftly to intercept him. He starts heading for his dorm, but you gently grab his wrist and guide him toward yours instead. Without a word, he follows your lead until you reach your door, both of you stepping inside quietly.

Sirius doesn’t utter a word, his silence filling the space between you as he leans back against your door. His head tilts upward, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as if searching for answers in its expanse.

You step closer, closing the distance between you, your footsteps echoing softly in the quiet room. With a gentle touch, you place your hand on his cheek, a tender gesture designed to draw his attention back to you. You find yourself more preoccupied with Sirius than the recent events downstairs. Dealing with the situation involving Remus can wait; at this moment, your main concern is resolving things with Sirius.

He lets out a sigh, the weight of his emotions palpable as he drops his gaze from the ceiling to meet yours. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice laced with a mixture of remorse and vulnerability.

You can't help but laugh incredulously at his apology, the sound carrying a blend of surprise and amusement. "What are you sorry for?" You inquire, your tone gentle yet tinged with curiosity, as you search his eyes for the answer.

He sighs, “That you found out this way.”

“About what?” You both know that you already know the answer but that you just want him to say it.

“About Remus’s feelings for you, about my feelings for you.” Sirius admits, his voice soft as he swallows harshly.

You take a deliberate step closer to him, closing the gap between you with a sense of purpose. "And what are your feelings for me?" you repeat, your tone carrying a playful lilt, a silent challenge lingering in your words, daring him to bare his heart to you.

"Y/n," he pleads softly, his hands instinctively finding their place on your hips, drawing you closer to him just an inch. “Remus pretty much spelled it out, didn’t he?”

"I don’t want to hear it from Remus, I want to hear it from you.” You assert, your voice tinged with determination as you press closer to him. His eyes flit down to the diminishing space between your bodies.

He sighs, a soft exhalation laden with unspoken emotions, “You drive me crazy.” He confesses, shaking his head in gentle disbelief. A grin spreads across your face, your heart lightening at the familiar banter between you.

"Yeah? Is that all?" you tease, a playful glint in your eyes as your arms rise to encircle his neck, drawing him closer.

His gaze softens, a hint of vulnerability shining through as he meets your eyes. "I’m crazy about you, have been since the moment I met you." He confesses, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth.

His words ignite a flutter of excitement in the pit of your stomach, a giddiness that bubbles up from within. Unable to contain the surge of emotions, you rise onto your toes, closing the gap between you as your lips meet his in a gentle kiss. He lets out a surprised hum, circling his arms around your waist and hauling you into him.

He pulls back slightly, resting his forehead on yours, his expression tinged with uncertainty, "Y/n,” He murmurs, his voice laced with apprehension, “I can’t do this if you still want Remus.”

You pull back slightly, creating a small space between you yet maintaining the intimacy of your connection as you gaze into his eyes. "Do you think I would have followed you if I still wanted Remus?" You inquire softly, your voice imbued with sincerity.

"I meant every word when I told you that you were the only one I thought of for James’ dare." You continue, your words carrying a gentle reassurance, seeking to dispel any lingering doubts or insecurities that may linger between you.

"I want you, Sirius." You whisper earnestly, your voice soft yet resolute, laying bare your desires and intentions as you seek clarity and connection with him.

The smile he gives you is radiant, brimming with unabridged happiness, illuminating his features with an undeniable warmth that reflects the depth of his emotions.

"I've been dreaming of you saying that for ages." You squeal with uncontainable delight as he dips down and scoops you up, your legs instinctively circling his waist. Together, you embark on a journey towards your bed, his steps sure and purposeful, each movement imbued with a sense of anticipation and excitement.

He settles onto the bed, seating you gently in his lap, and you can't help but giggle uncontrollably, the sound filling the room with infectious joy as you revel in the sheer exhilaration of the moment shared between you.

As you lean down and press your lips onto his, he exhales softly, as if shedding all his worries, finding true peace in the gentle brush of your lips against his. He's never encountered a feeling of rightness as profound as this throughout his life. He is completely done for.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Lily and Marlene didn't return to the dorm last night. After the awkward end to your game of truth or dare, you assumed they were giving you some space. And frankly, you were grateful for it.

You weren't eager to delve into the topic of Remus confessing his past feelings for you. Although he didn't explicitly reveal whether or not those feelings still lingered, the reactions from both Adeline and Sirius served as a telling response.

You knew that a conversation with Remus was inevitable. Yet nervousness gnawed at you. What if there was no salvaging what remained of your friendship? Despite the awkwardness of the past few months, the desire to keep him in your life persisted, making the conversation all the more important.

The night unfolded with you and Sirius intertwined, lost in stolen kisses and hushed conversations within the dimly lit dorm. You had never felt so content in your whole life. Being with Sirius felt like a breath of fresh air. There were no lingering doubts about his feelings; his actions spoke volumes, leaving no room for uncertainty. Reflecting on the past, you couldn't help but wonder how you had ever been so blind to his affections.

“You almost ready m’love?” Sirius called, casting a glance your way as he deftly tied his tie in front of your mirror.

His endearment sent a flutter through your heart. It felt as though the kiss with Sirius last night had unleashed a torrent of emotions, flooding your senses with newfound intensity. It sent a thrill through your body, yet you felt somewhat disheartened as well. How had you managed to overlook Sirius for so long? He had been there all along, yet you found yourself pining over Remus, who had seemed indifferent to your feelings.

"Yeah, whenever you’re ready." You offered a soft smile as you slipped on your final shoe, steadying yourself with a gentle grip on the bedpost.

You stood up, making your way over to Sirius who met you halfway, placing his hands on your hips. You wrapped around your arms around his neck, pulling yourself closer to him. He smiled down as you, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear before putting his hand back to your hip.

You rose to your full height, crossing the distance to Sirius, who advanced to meet you halfway, his hands finding their place on your hips. You encircled your arms around his neck, drawing yourself nearer to him. He smiled warmly down at you, delicately tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear before returning his hand to your hip.

"How do you want to go about this?" Sirius asked his brow furrowing with a hint of unease, his gaze searching yours for guidance.

Your brow pinched in confusion, "Go about what? Us?" For a brief moment, the idea crossed your mind – did Sirius want to go back to the way things were before? However, that thought evaporated as quickly as it appeared when you recalled the firmness of his embrace, the intensity in his gaze fixed upon you.

He nodded, his expression softening with concern. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I understand things might be tense with Remus, and I don’t want to make it harder for you."

"You know what I want?" Sirius tightened his embrace, prompting you to elaborate. "I want you to treat me like I’m yours, show everyone that we’re together. I couldn't care less about what anyone thinks." Both of you understood that anyone referred to Remus. Sirius remained silent, his gaze fixed on you, his expression indecipherable.

Your expression shifted to one of uncertainty, your brows furrowing slightly as you sought clarification. "We're together, right?" You asked, your voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability, searching his eyes for confirmation.

Sirius's smile radiated such genuine warmth that a flutter of attraction danced in your stomach, “Yeah, baby. We’re together.” He couldn't fathom that he held you, his dream girl, in his arms, asking him if the two of you were together. It took him a moment to fully grasp the reality of the moment.

He continued, “Don’t think that I’m not going to properly ask you to be mine, though, because I will. I promise.”

Unable to resist, you leaned in, capturing his lips with your own. Instantly, he responded, returning the kiss with equal fervor and intention.

With a reluctant sigh, you pulled away, your fingers lingering against his cheek as you whispered, "We need to get to breakfast."

"I think I can starve." Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes as he leaned down to capture your lips once more.

You couldn't help but giggle, gently pushing him away, "Stop it, we gotta go. We’re going to be late." You insisted, a hint of laughter dancing in your voice as you playfully nudged him towards the door, the lingering taste of his kiss still tingling on your lips.

As you entered the common room, a wave of surprise washed over you at the sight of all your friends gathered, comfortably sprawled across the couches and armchairs. You slowed to a stop, catching Sirius off guard as he turned to follow your gaze, his eyes widening in surprise as they landed on the familiar faces of your friends.

"We wanted to make sure you two were okay after last night," Lily paused, her gaze piercing as she shot a pointed glare at Remus, who visibly shrank into the couch cushions. He appeared exhausted as if he hadn't slept all night, and you couldn't help but notice Adeline's absence beside him.

"But it looks like everything is good?" Lily continued, her voice hopeful as her eyes dropped down to where your hand intertwined with Sirius'.

"Everything's fine," you affirm, offering a soft smile as Sirius squeezes your hand reassuringly. "But I need to talk to you, Rem. Alone.” You add, your tone gentle yet firm, conveying the importance of the coming conversation.

Sirius is the first to break the tense silence, shifting slightly while the others remain rooted in place, their eyes flitting between Remus and you. The atmosphere feels charged with unease, and you can sense the weight of Lily's unspoken words lingering in the air, knowing full well she gave Remus a piece of her mind the moment you left last night.

Before he can move away, you pull him back, your hand gently tugging him closer as you press your lips to his. A surprised sound escapes him before his hands come up to hold your cheeks. Remus clenches his jaw, unable to watch as you both melt into each other.

James lets out a low, appreciative whistle, and Lily suppresses a smile behind her hand. Peter and Dorcas avert their gaze shyly while Marlene beams at the sight of Sirius melting into you. It's evident that they're all on Team Sirius.

As you both draw back, your gazes locked in mutual adoration, Sirius places another swift kiss on your lips. "I'll have your tea waiting for you," he promises softly.

A bright smile spreads across your face. "Thank you," you reply, your voice filled with warmth and gratitude.

As Sirius finally draws back, the others follow suit. James is already by his best friend's side, chatting animatedly. Lily and Marlene exchange knowing grins with you, silently promising a conversation later. Meanwhile, Peter and Dorcas trail behind, engaging in casual conversation as they meander along.

You sigh, bracing yourself for what promises to be an awkward conversation, and then take a seat beside Remus on the couch. The tension in the air is palpable, amplified by the near emptiness of the common room. Remus sits up straight, stealing a glance in your direction, his demeanor reflecting the unease of the moment.

“Are you okay?” Remus looks mildly surprised, that wasn’t the first thing he expected you to ask.

He clears his throat nervously, “Uh, I’ve been better, honestly. Are you?”

He observes as you gracefully draw your legs onto the couch, tucking them underneath you. Finally, you meet his gaze, and he's momentarily taken aback by your beauty. A pang of regret hits him like a wave – he wishes he had confronted his feelings for you earlier. Perhaps then, it would have been him sharing kisses with you instead of watching you with his best mate.

"I'm good." Remus watches as you absentmindedly bring your fingers up to brush against your lips, a lovesick expression softening your features. You appear momentarily lost in thought, a dazed quality to your gaze.

Clearing your throat, you shake off your thoughts, "But I'm disappointed about last night. What on hell was that?"

"Y/n," Remus's voice quivered with sincerity as he addressed you, his eyes reflecting the remorse weighing heavily upon him. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to upset you." He whispered, the words thick with sincerity..

You sighed, the weight of your frustration and disappointment lacing your tone, "And Adeline?" Remus looked startled. In the wake of you rushing to follow Sirius, Adeline had bravely broached the subject of his feelings towards you. Caught off guard, Remus found himself grappling for words, acutely aware of his friends' scrutinizing gazes, which bore a mixture of astonishment and disapproval. His hesitation was a silent confession to Adeline, who gathered her belongings swiftly, her departure punctuating the air with an unspoken disappointment. In the ensuing silence, Remus remained rooted, torn between pursuing you and granting you the space he sensed you needed. Regrettably, the thought of going after Adeline hadn't even crossed his mind amidst the dread sitting heavy in his stomach. Remus understood he had messed up, and the weight of his mistake hung heavy upon him.

“She left. I don’t blame her, I hurt her. Who gets a girlfriend when they have feelings for someone else?” A laugh escaped Remus, laden with incredulity.

His words prompted you to avert your gaze, a subtle gesture betraying the unease settling in the pit of your stomach. The acknowledgment that his feelings for you still lingered left you with an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Silence settles between you both, and it's excruciatingly awkward.

“I’m falling in love with Sirius,” You blurt out, nervously stealing a glance at him, eager to gauge his reaction. “I just, I need you to know that there’s no way anything could’ve happened between us. A couple months ago it would’ve been entirely different. But I was devastated, Rem. Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you be with Adeline? How much that hurt? And then you just admit you have feelings in front of everyone no less, like it wasn’t a big deal. In front of your girlfriend, who clearly cares so much about you. I don’t understand.”

"Dorcas asked—" He began, his voice sounded shaky.

"But you could've passed, or chosen to say another old crush's name!" Your interjection cut through the air, sharp and pointed.

"But there wasn't anyone else." He countered, his words tinged with a hint of desperation.

"Remus." His name hung in the air, heavy with frustration. You sent him with a glare heavy with irritation, and the intensity of your gaze churned a nauseating knot in his stomach.

"I was jealous, okay? To see Sirius hold you and kiss you like I have always wanted was awful. I couldn’t get you out of my head, and then Dorcas asked, and I just said your name."

"Godric, Rem!" You huffed, frustration coloring your tone. "If you had just told me months ago, we could’ve avoided this entire mess." Remus opened his mouth to speak, but you interjected, your words tumbling out with raw emotion. "But at the same time? I’m so grateful that you didn’t tell me, and that Sirius was there, because then I would’ve missed out on a guy who was never afraid to show me that I was his first choice.”

Remus remained silent, his gaze fixed intently on his intertwined fingers. You sat tense on the couch beside him, the air heavy with unresolved tension.

Remus’ eyes are filled with tears when he turns to you, “I know there’s no chance for us anymore, but Y/n, I don’t want to lose you as my best friend. Not having you around the last couple months have been hard. I miss you, and I understand if you’re not ready for that or don’t even want to be my friend. But Y/n, I will do anything to make this up to you.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, a wave of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. With a harsh sigh, you turned to Remus, your gaze a mixture of hurt and determination.

"Our friendship won't be fixed right away," you admitted, the words weighted with the frustration that had been simmering beneath the surface. "I'm still frustrated with you." You confessed, your voice tinged with the raw honesty of your emotions.

“Y/n, I’ll do everything to make it up to you. I know everything won’t go back to the way it was, but I just want to be your friend.” His words carry genuine remorse, and you crack.

“Remus, come here.” You extended your arms toward him and Remus engulfs you in his embrace, his fervor nearly knocking you off balance.

You're both holding onto each other tightly, finding comfort in having each other back. A few tears escape your eyes, tracing silent paths down your cheeks as you find solace in the warmth of his embrace.

"I missed you too." You mumble softly into his chest, your words muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

The familiar ease you once shared with Remus doesn't return immediately, but both of you are committed to rebuilding your friendship, to rediscovering that ease and comfort your relationship used to provide. But the effort that is being made means the world to you.

And so it begins with catching up on reading together. You sit beside Remus on the plush couch, matching copies of a book cradled in your hands as you both immerse yourselves in its pages. Nearby, Marlene and Lily are nestled by the crackling fire, engaged in animated conversation about Marlene's impending decision to finally ask Dorcas out. Peter lounges lazily in an armchair, a contented smile playing on his lips as he indulges in chocolates, his attention drifting between the gossip and the flickering flames.

Sirius's laughter rings out, drawing your gaze toward him like a magnet. You shift your focus to the common room entrance, where Sirius and James have just arrived, their hair still damp from their post-practice showers.

You sit up straighter, a subtle movement, that draws Remus's attention to you. Following your gaze, Remus's eyes shift in the direction of Sirius, who is in the midst of a hearty laugh spurred on by James's joke. However, as Sirius turns and locks eyes with you, his laughter fades into a tender smile, his expression melting into one of affection and adoration. James catches sight of Lily across the room and wastes no time in making his way over to her, his trademark mischievous grin already in place.

"James!" Lily cries out, her voice a mixture of exasperation and amusement, as she dodges away from the curly-headed boy who is shaking his dripping wet hair over her. Marlene's laughter fills the air, and Dorcas grins from beside her. Despite Lily's attempts to escape, James encircles his arms around her waist, drawing her back against his chest, his satifsfied grin matching her infectious laughter.

“I can’t stand you, James Potter.” Lily sighs, leaning back against James and shaking her head disapprovingly.

Sirius laughs, watching Lily pretend to be annoyed with James, before settling into the seat beside you, a comfortable familiarity enveloping the space between you. When he leans in to press a gentle kiss against your lips, you instinctively lean into his touch, savoring the warmth of his affection. Remus's gaze momentarily drifts away, a subtle pang of jealousy tugging at his chest as he watches the way you lean into his best mate.

In truth, Remus found himself uncertain of his standing with Sirius. Him and Remus were limited in their interactions lately, both boys feeling tense around the other. Unbeknownst to you, Remus flinched involuntarily every time Sirius drew near to you, displaying his lingering feelings for you. Sirius, though not proud of it, found himself grappling with a twinge of possessiveness whenever Remus was close to you.

Sirius pulled back slightly, a warm smile gracing his features as he met your gaze, "Hi, m'love." He murmured softly, his voice laced with affection and tenderness.

You couldn't help but return his grin, feeling a rush of warmth at his endearing greeting, "Hi." You replied, your voice filled with warmth and fondness, mirroring the affection reflected in his eyes.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Sirius's voice broke the silence, his arm casually draping around your shoulder, drawing you into his side. Your book lay forgotten as his presence captivated your attention.

"Just some studying." You replied, the thought of books and lectures suddenly fading into insignificance.

Sirius leaned in closer, his lips grazing against your ear as he whispered, "I wanna take you somewhere tomorrow." The words stirred memories of a few months ago when you were seated on this very couch with him, grappling with the heartache of trying to move on from Remus.

"Will this be a date?" You asked, unable to contain the excitement bubbling in your voice.

"Yes, angel." Sirius replied, his words soft and tender as he pressed a gentle kiss to your temple. A radiant grin spread across your face as you reached for your book once more, the anticipation of the upcoming date dancing in your thoughts.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Almost a week slips by before you and Sirius manage to carve out time for a long-awaited date. As Sirius leads you on a walk, your heart swells with emotion when you realize he's taking you to the tulip field. Despite the lingering chill in the air, the sight of the vibrant flowers and the sun's gentle rays reflecting off Black Lake fills you with warmth.

"You're such a romantic." You giggle, leaning into Sirius even more. He responds with a bashful smile, his cheeks tinged pink. You're not sure if it's from the cold or your teasing.

"I didn't know if it would be a good place for a date or not." He admits, his cheeks coloring with embarrassment. He had spent the last week agonizing over where to take you. When he ranted to Peter about it, Peter simply shrugged and suggested Hogsmeade. Sirius had scoffed, his tone teasing yet earnest, telling him he better step it up if he wanted to impress a girl.

"Sirius, this is the cutest spot for a date. Plus, it has meaning to us." You tell him sincerely, and Sirius feels his heart flutter at the term us. He wonders if he'll ever get over the fact that he has his dream girl in his arms, looking at him the same way he looks at you.

As you draw closer, the perfumed air carries the unmistakable scent of spring, and the gentle buzzing of bumblebees near the flowers fills your ears. The sounds evoke a sense of nostalgia, transporting you back to your childhood days spent playing in the garden.

"Merlin, I was so stressed about it. I've never planned a date before. I mean, I've gone on dates, but I've never felt this determined to impress someone as much as I have with you," he sighs as if releasing all of his pent-up stress. "I even asked Peter where I should take you."

"Did you? Well, I think this is perfect." You grin, withdrawing your hand from his to lay out the blanket. The thought of crushing tulips under the blanket makes you cringe, so you search for a barren patch to place it over. With care, you shake out the blanket, letting it flutter gracefully before plopping onto it.

Leaning back on your palms, you watch Sirius, who remains standing where you left him, your copy of Pride and Prejudice in his hands. A soft smile graces his lips as he gazes at you as if you're everything he's ever dreamed of.

"Are you going to join me or just stare?" You question, patting the spot next to you invitingly.

"I quite like staring at you." He grins, sending you his famous smile.

He sits down next to you before laying back and allowing the sun to settle on his skin. The warmth of the rays feels comforting, especially after the last couple of days filled with rain. The melodic songs of birds in the surrounding trees and the sound of your gentle movements create a soothing ambiance, putting him at ease.

You shift, settling onto your back, your eyes tracing the patterns of the soft clouds as they leisurely drift across the vast expanse of the sky. The birds' playful chirps and flutters among the trees add to the serene atmosphere. Sirius follows suit, adjusting his position to face you. As he watches you, he's captivated by the delicate play of sunlight on your features, accentuated by the colorful tulips that bloom around you, adding a vibrant backdrop to the tranquil scene.

He can hardly believe that he's lying next to the girl of his dreams, the one he's thought of for years, yearning for even a moment of her attention. Memories flood back countless times when he watched you with Remus from afar, consumed by jealousy for the time Remus got to spend with you. He would have given anything for just a few minutes alone with you to share a moment that belonged solely to the two of you.

"I talked to Remus earlier today." You remark, his nose crinkling slightly with an involuntary pang of jealousy at the mention of his friend's name. It's become almost instinctual by now.

"He apologized to Adeline," You start, your expression thoughtful. "He mentioned it started off rough, but in the end, she forgave him, and they wished each other the best."

He hums, “That’s good.”

You giggle, “That’s all?”

Sirius hums softly, propping himself up on his elbow as he gazes down at you. "I'm glad they've found that closure," he murmurs, his tone laced with a hint of distraction.

Feeling his unwavering focus, you gently divert your attention from the sky to meet his gaze. His eyes are locked onto yours with such intensity that it causes a flutter in your chest, leaving your breath caught in your throat.

He lifts his hands, delicately brushing his thumb against your bottom lip. A small, involuntary sound escapes you, and Sirius responds with a devastating smile, a hint of playfulness dancing in his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about anyone else but us." He whispers, his voice filled with sincerity. His gaze softens as his fingers trace gently across your cheeks, his hand coming to rest on your face, his thumb tenderly brushing against your jawline.

"What about us in particular?" You inquire, the words escaping in a breathless whisper. Your heart quickens its pace, a rhythmic drumming echoing the intensity of the moment, a sensation that always accompanies Sirius's proximity. The air feels charged with anticipation, every nerve tingling with the electricity of his presence.

"I can't get enough of you," he confesses, leaning in to press a soft kiss against your cheek. "How you never leave my mind," he adds, tenderly planting a kiss on your other cheek.

"How you make my heart flip every time I look at you." His lips brush against your forehead before he leans down to rest his against yours. Your eyes flutter closed at his proximity, your body nearly buzzing from the giddiness and anticipation coursing through your veins.

"How my heart is entirely yours." His voice trembles slightly, revealing the depth of his emotions as he utters those heartfelt words, “And that I am hopelessly in love with you.”

Your eyes widen, catching his apprehensive gaze, his nerves evident as he awaits your reaction to his confession Without hesitation, you thread your fingers through his hair and gently pull him down to you, closing the distance between your lips and his in a sweet, affirming kiss.

Sirius lets out a moan, his thumb continuing to brush over your cheek as he deepens the kiss. The warmth of his lips against yours is accompanied by a gentle exploration, each movement conveying a depth of emotion and desire that leaves you breathless. The air is charged with an electric intensity, and in that moment, it feels like time stands still, allowing you to savor the overwhelming connection and longing between you.

You pull away just slightly, your voice trembling with emotion as you gaze into his eyes. In the hushed intimacy of the moment, surrounded by the soft rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of birds, you utter those three profound words, "I am so in love with you. "

Sirius lets out a disbelieving laugh, his smile widening as euphoria bubbles within him. Without hesitation, he leans in, his lips meeting yours in a fervent and intense kiss that elicits a desperate moan from your lips. You've never experienced a kiss like this before, filled with such raw passion that it feels like every nerve in your body is set ablaze as if you could melt into him right there and then.

"Please be mine." Sirius pleads, his voice laced with longing and vulnerability against your lips.

A tender smile graces your lips as you respond, your voice soft and filled with affection, "I'm already yours."

While nestled in the field of tulips, Sirius confesses to you that the very first tulip he gifted you was, in fact, a declaration of his love.

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peachdues · 9 months

Text

Phantasmagoria (Part I)

Tell Me to Stop (Sanemi’s Version)

Sanemi x F!Reader, Modern AU

A/N: it's time. This one is very personal to me, and I've drawn a lot upon my own life/experiences to write this. I hope it lives up to expectations, but in case it doesn't, remember there is still a part two and a part three (so more smut/angst/feelings).

Massive TW: grief, loss of parent to cancer, canon character death (in non-canon way), drug and alcohol abuse, anger, unhealthy coping mechanisms galore.

CW: 10.5k words; explicit sexual content. Unprotected sex/oral (F!receiving), mildly dubious consent (Reader doesn't tell Sanemi it's her first time, and there's a question whether he would've done it); both Sanemi and Reader are under the influence. Creampie, lots of cursing, angst.

For the playlist, listen here.

Without further ado!

Speak in tongues / I don't even recognize your face / mirror on the wall / tell me all the ways to stay away

phan·tas·ma·go·ri·a – an exhibition of optical effects and illusions; a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined.

Once upon a time, as a little girl, she’d believed love was pretty; she imagined it would be soft, pink, and shiny and make her feel warm and pretty in return.

As an adult, she’d come to realize that love wasn’t pretty at all; it was cold, lonely, and painful.

Love was dull and harsh and all-consuming.

Love was black.

For Y/N, loving Sanemi Shinazugawa was like falling into one of the black holes she’d learned about in science class as a child. It was infinite and empty and there was no space for anything but the all-consuming void that promised to rip her apart and condemn her to oblivion.

This love had taken her naïve, romantic heart to chew up and spit back out, leaving her only with a misshapen lump held together by the leftover sinew of her hopes and dreams.

Y/N believed her love for Sanemi would be the death of her. It was a poison that had seeped into her veins and was slowly rotting her from the inside out. She knew it was stupid to love someone who would not and could not love her back, but she hadn’t yet figured out a way to stop.

And since she could not stop loving him, she could only resign herself to its toxicity until it killed her for good.

—————————————————————————

Summer had ended, and Y/N was dreading having to return to Ubayashiki University. Dreading it because she’d spent the entirety of the summer back in her – their – hometown, caring for her ailing mother, and that isolation had meant she didn’t have to wake up every day with a pit in her stomach at the thought of running into him. But then her mother had finally succumbed to her illness a week prior, and Y/N was now forced to carry on in the world as though hers had not just been blown apart.

Looking back, Genya’s death had marked the end for a lot of things, including the once-irreverent trio that had been Y/N, Kyojuro, and Sanemi.

They had been friends – the best of friends, really, since pre-school, in large part because of their parents. Kyojuro, as warm and as vibrant as the sun, had been their grounding force, always wise beyond his years but quick to laugh. Then there was Sanemi, and though he could be prone to his episodes of anger, he was a staunch, loyal defender of his friends and would do anything if it meant making them smile. Last, there had been Y/N, and she’d been so happy to just love her boys and be loved by them. She’d always felt invincible with them by her side, ready to take on the world, together.

And for a while, they did.

Their friendship withstood even the toughest of trials. It lasted through the death of Kyojuro’s mother and the subsequent decline of his father, so unable to cope that he could not function without the bitter sting of alcohol to soothe the pain of Rukka’s absence. Their friendship had even endured the deaths of both Sanemi’s and Genya’s parents at the hands of a drunk driver, the shrapnel from the crash permanently scarring both of the boys’ faces, though Sanemi had born the worst of it.

But because they’d had one another, they’d made it through. Y/N’s own mother, though a single parent, took in both Shinazugawa boys until the state placed them in a home, though that rarely stopped Sanemi from frequenting Y/N’s house after school. Even Kyojuro grew to be a constant fixture around her house, drawn to the warmth and love her mother showed both boys as if they were her own.

And then they all grew up, and they were set to begin their first year of university at Ubaya-U come the fall. The three of them had been eager to set out into the world, to grab at any and all opportunities that arose, and for each of them to become great in their own right.

But not two weeks into the fall semester, Sanemi received the phone call that had brought his world crashing down around him. Genya, his beloved, cherished younger brother, had been shot dead outside of their foster home, killed by some kid in retaliation for some fight Genya hadn’t picked.

Y/N hadn’t been with him when he received the news, instead only getting a text from Kyojuro to getthefuckoverhereNOW. She’d bolted from her class and ran to the boys’ dorm across campus. She’d found Sanemi, curled into a ball on the floor beneath a hole he’d punched into the drywall, sobbing, and she hadn’t known what else to do but hold him along with Kyojuro while her own tears threatened to blind her.

Hours later, when Sanemi realized he would have to return to their hometown to make final arrangements, he’d asked Y/N to accompany him to the train station. Kyojuro would have gone as well, but he’d been unable to call off from work, and so the three had planned for Y/N to return with him the next day, as she was the only one between the three of them with a car on campus.

Of course, Y/N agreed to drive Sanemi to the train station, because she couldn’t possibly imagine leaving him alone. He’d looked so lost, so broken, and she would’ve done anything, anything at all, to lessen the weight on his shoulders.

Because she loved him, and she’d loved him for years, and love meant giving everything you had, everything you were to the other, especially in times of need. So she agreed, and though he’d been unable to speak, Sanemi had rested his head on her shoulder in silent gratitude.

She’d not known that, in her efforts to love and support him at his lowest, she would doom their group’s entire dynamic.

In retrospect, she shouldn’t have said anything. It was the wrong time, the wrong way to tell him what was in her heart, and she’d known that; but she hadn’t been able to stop herself. She’d been unable to stop the way her heart clenched as she walked him towards the platform at Amane Station, his head hung low and his eyes rimmed red from hours of crying. It hurt her to see him in such pain, hurt so badly that she’d been desperate to alleviate it in any way she could. She’d thought it would have been enough to hug him, to give him a reassuring squeeze and a promise that she and Kyo would be back home the following morning and that he wouldn’t be alone.

But then, before she could stop them, those cursed words had fallen from her lips and ruined her, ruined everything.

I love you, Sanemi. With all my heart.

As soon as she’d heard herself say it, she’d known she’d fucked up. She knew, as Sanemi stiffened in her embrace and pulled away from her, that she’d indelibly altered things between them, and that she could never take those words back. And she’d known, the moment she saw the cold, bewildered look in his eyes, so angry it made her stomach drop, that he neither returned nor wanted her love.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?” He snapped, stepping back from her, creating a chasm between them that could not be bridged.

His train had finally arrived, and he’d stormed away from her, turned his back to her, and refused to look back as he boarded the car. She’d stayed behind, standing there amidst a throng of travelers and their families, for a long while, tears slipping hot and fast down her cheeks until the salt burned permanent tracks into her skin.

It hadn’t mattered that Kyojuro had called her later, Sanemi having filled him in on what happened, what she’d done, to tell her not to worry; that Sanemi had just been frustrated and overwhelmed, and that all would be well between them after the funeral.

Kyojuro lied. Sanemi hadn’t so much as looked her way the entire time she and Kyo were with him during his brother’s funeral and had refused to even acknowledge her small greeting. Y/N understood he was going through the worst pain imaginable, and she’d known he was angry because she’d dumped her feelings on him when he’d been in no place to receive them, but his rejection still fucking hurt.

Worse than his rejection had been his total ignorance of her, his obstinate refusal to so much as acknowledge her existence. Y/N hadn’t been able to understand how he could be so angry with her to not even treat her like a person, to pretend as though they hadn’t been friends – best friends – since they were in diapers.

Y/N had wanted to give him space, however, and wanted herself to stop loving him so things could one day go back to how they’d been, so she started to distance herself from Sanemi, believing she would still have Kyojuro, her sun, to lean on if she needed it.

But she’d been wrong, so very wrong. Because Kyojuro had defended Sanemi with a not-so-gentle reminder that ‘he’s dealing with a lot right now,’ which only fractured her heart even more because Kyojuro had taken a side and it hadn’t been hers.

Thus, Y/N was left to love them both at a distance, and she was forced to watch them carry on their friendship without her, even though they’d all come to Ubaya-U together and even though her exile from the group meant that Y/N had no friends at all.

So, her first semester at university, the semester she’d dreamed would be life-changing and exciting, became a cacophony of sobs smothered into her pillow at night so her roommate wouldn’t hear her winking out like a dying star. And she had no friends, because her best friend didn’t think she was his, and she couldn’t stop loving a boy who didn’t want to love her back.

—————————————————————————

Her mom got sick in the spring of her first year. Initially, it had been a good prognosis. Y/N somehow managed to balance her busy, pre-law class load with her mother’s care, fluidly alternating between office hours and hospital appointments. But no friends meant she’d had no one to talk to, no one to lean on in those moments when her legs gave out and sobs wracked her body because she’d been so fucking scared of losing her mom. But she’d been kept busy enough to be able to squash that loneliness down and ignore it like her boys had ignored her, and so, she’d pushed through.

By the time summer had come, however, things had grown exponentially worse. Several nights ended in Y/N having to call an ambulance to rush to her home, because her mom had fallen and Y/N wasn’t strong enough to lift her by herself, and there hadn’t been anyone else she could call.

There had been a few times – maybe two or three – when she’d passed Kyojuro on the street, home briefly to check on his little brother, and the fiery blonde would make a face like he wanted to say something like he wanted to talk to her or care about her, but Y/N would turn and run before he had the chance.

She never saw Sanemi, though that hadn’t surprised her. She hadn’t expected him to be able to stomach being back home so soon after Genya.

Her mother’s condition yo-yoed throughout the summer and into the early fall of her second year of university. Just when it finally seemed as though things were looking up for her mother, when she was just days from her last treatment, she died.

No one had been there to hold her – to comfort her – when Y/N began wailing as her mother’s chest rose for the last time and did not go back down.

Her mother had died, and Y/N had been left utterly and completely alone.

Her mother’s funeral had taken place on a sunny October day, the autumn air cool and crisp as an apple. She’d stood beside her mother’s casket as stranger after stranger passed, offering their condolences and personal anecdotes of her mother’s kindness.

Not once had she seen a familiar face. Not once had either of her boys made an appearance, not even for the woman who had loved them as her own.

She’d returned to campus a few days later, and because the universe had decided she’d not suffered nearly enough for some unknown crime, she ran into him. By the cruelest twist of fate, Sanemi decided to cross the street opposite her at the same time, and what was left of her heart skipped several beats.

For all her efforts to put distance between them, she still loved him, and it was a realization so bitter she thought she would start dry heaving right there on the pavement. She tried to duck her head, to avoid catching his attention, but the crosswalk light changed, and he was suddenly walking towards her, and she couldn’t help but chance a glance up.

Lilac eyes collided with her own, and Y/N thought the world was about to open beneath her and swallow her whole.

His gaze lingered for a touch longer than normal for a stranger, and Y/N feared he’d be able to see the scars from her tears on her face or see how her heart still bore the tattoo of his name. But then he blinked, and she took the chance to vanish among the throng of students, dashing back to her dorm before the tears could spill down her cheeks once more.

She barely made it to her room before her legs gave out from under her, her sobs choking from her throat.

She wished her mother had taken her with her.

—————————————————————————

It was fitting that Y/N met the personification of spring at the start of the spring semester.

Her name was Mitsuri, and Y/N sat next to her in her 8:00 AM class. The girl was so bubbly and bright that it was difficult, even for the drab Y/N to resist striking up a conversation with her. Mitsuri was a streak of color that bloomed across Y/N’s eternal gray sky, with her exotic pink and green hair and permanent blush. It took only a few weeks, but Mitsuri and Y/N became the best of friends, and Y/N could not get over how good it felt to have one of those again.

Mitsuri and Y/N began to do everything together, and bit by bit, Y/N felt herself smiling more, laughing as her friend flirted with every him, her, and them who crossed their path. They figured out they shared nearly every class together, and when they weren’t furiously taking notes during their lectures, they were studying together in small corners around campus, dreaming of what was to come after exams and graduation in a year and a half.

Her pink-haired friend helped Y/N feel confident again, like a person. Mitsuri helped bring Y/N back out of the shell she’d so carefully crafted in the wake of her abandonment, and she began to feel a little lighter, a little more buoyant thanks to the happy, beautiful girl at her side.

That wasn’t to say Mitsuri didn’t have her own demons – she very much did. At night, Mitsuri and Y/N push their beds together in the latter’s dorm (Y/N’s first roommate had long since moved out). There, huddled together under the mess of blankets and pillows, they would whisper the names of their heartache with one another – Sanemi and Obanai – and they comforted each other, wiping their tears away with soft promises that as long as they had one another, they would be okay.

By March, Mitsuri convinced Y/N to go clubbing with her. Y/N was hesitant until she looked in the mirror after her friend had spent the evening primping her and turning her into a woman Y/N scarcely recognized in the mirror. Her friend had dressed her in a short, emerald green dress that hugged every curve just right, a teasing slit going high up on her left thigh. Y/N’s hair had been slicked back into a high ponytail that swung tantalizingly between her shoulder blades. Her cleavage was a bit more exposed in the pinkette’s dress than Y/N was accustomed to, but damn if she didn’t look downright sumptuous.

Y/N was determined to let loose, to not think about the black stain on her heart that was him, and so she greedily accepted Mitsuri’s hand as the two braved the chilly, early spring air. Mitsuri pulled her through the doors of the club -- the Kizuki Moon Lounge -- and for the first time in a year and a half, she felt alive.

Beneath the strobe of multi-colored lights, amidst the pulsing bass of the techno-music threatening to rupture her eardrums, Y/N had found herself anew; no longer was she the sad, morose girl who barely existed. Under Mitsuri’s care, Y/N transformed into a raving princess, who owned the sticky floor of the Kizuki’s club each time she and her friend traipsed onto it in their too-high heels, wearing too-short dresses and clutching too-strong drinks in their greedy hands.

In April, Mitsuri introduced her to Shinobu, a wisp of a pharmacology student who was every bit as beautiful as she was terrifying, though Y/N could not exactly place why the petite girl could scare off any ill-intentioned man that tried to swagger over to them, given her ever-present, sugary-sweet smile.

She also met three girls – Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma – who were beautiful and fun-loving and rounded out the newly-formed friend group with their fire-and-ice personalities.

First, there was Hinatsuru – quieter, but still capable of throwing it back and having a grand old time, especially once her drink of choice (rum and Coke) had the opportunity to work its way through her blood. A pretty blush was always the telltale sign that Hina was ready to jump up on a table and captivate anyone who had the pleasure of watching her dance.

Next, there was Makio, brash and bold, but fiercely loyal. Some asshole had made the mistake of snapping the thong-like top of Mitsuri’s skirt once and found his head shoved down on the table, his arm pulled back in a self-defense maneuver as the dark-haired beauty threatened to wrench the man’s offending arm from its socket.

Finally, there was Suma, who often clung to the other two like a lost child, but once she gained her confidence, would flirt with absolutely anything and everything that moved, with a sultry giggle and a bat of her pretty eyes. Within only twenty minutes of knowing her, Suma had convinced Y/N to make out with her, the beautiful girl tasting like cotton candy and summertime as their tongues lazily danced together beneath the throb of the club lights.

With her new group of girlfriends, Y/N began to lose herself to the alluring beck and call of Ubayashiki’s local rave scene, her nights quickly becoming defined by sticky drinks and jeweled makeup, and the skimpy outfits Mitsuri always shoved her into. But she could not find it in her heart to care, because for once, her mind was on something else that didn’t involve the smell of pine, or lavender eyes, or the feeling of a home that no longer existed.

But even though the sour drinks made her feel so warm and vibrant while she danced, there were still moments when clarity hit and she missed them.

She missed the way Kyojuro’s strong arm would drape around her shoulders, heavy and warm, and how his embrace always felt like home, his deep laugh infectious.

She missed the way Sanemi would pretend to hug her unwillingly but would leave his hands lingering on her back or her waist once she moved to pull away, a small smirk tugging on the corners of his tantalizing mouth. She missed the smell of his cologne, woodsy and clean, as he would lean in close to her face to tease her until she blushed.

She missed them so much that the sharp sting of alcohol eventually stopped dulling the pulsing ache in the cavity where her heart once beat. No matter how many shots, no matter how many sticky acid drinks she tossed back, that gnawing in her chest would not cease.

Then, one night, Shinobu pressed a small, lilac pill into her hand, and everything changed.

Initially, Y/N was apprehensive, because the pill perfectly matched the hue of the eyes of the person she wanted to forget most. But Shinobu promised her that this pill she’d created in a lab for school – Wisteria – will have her feeling like a kid on Christmas, and that promise, coupled with a flutter of Shinobu’s pretty eyelashes made Y/N cave.

At first, she felt nothing, no impact beyond the slight buzz provided by the round of shots she’d done upon first arriving at the Kizuki. But then, as Mitsuri twirled her beneath the flashing lights of pink and yellow, Y/N’s world exploded with a vibrance she’d neither seen nor felt in nearly two years. Everything, all at once, became magical; effervescent; infinite.

The Wisteria seeped into her veins and made her feel like Christmas lights had been implanted under her skin. Y/N felt shiny and beautiful and sparkly under the combined effect of Shinobu’s magical concoction and the balancing burn of her tequila, and with her new group of girlfriends flanking her side as they bumped to and ground against one another to the beat of the music, Y/N felt almost like she did when it was just her and her boys. Only now, Y/N felt even better, because, with her girls, she could ignore the way the black in her heart was slowly beginning to fester, even if that meant Y/N was beginning to feel more and more numb with each passing rendezvous at the club.

Because that numbness meant that at least she couldn’t feel the acrid bite of her unrequited love for him, and that was what she wanted all along, right?

—————————————————————————

(May)

Of course, Y/N should’ve known she couldn’t stay light and resplendent and numb in her neon and black light paradise forever. Because unfortunately, despite the large student body at Ubaya-U, her new friend group just has to intermingle with them.

Really, it was all Shinobu’s fault. Towards the end of the semester, Shinobu began dating a quiet, withdrawn boy named Giyuu, who happened to be good friends with the man that Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma all have a thing for – Tengen.

Tengen was a recent graduate of Ubaya-U, and an even more recent hire at the local police department, his imposing size and discerning ears a coveted asset amongst the group of detectives who’d scouted him out. Having someone affiliated with the local police be part of their group ended up being a huge advantage to them, however, given the general inclination for people to look the other way whenever Shinobu began dealing her Wisteria in the secluded corners of the Kizuki’s lounge.

What was not an advantage, however, were Tengen’s friends, because Tengen, apparently, had become best fucking friends with Kyojuro, and by default, him.

Y/N stood awkwardly between Mitsuri and Shinobu as the latter presented her group of girlfriends to the new, rag-tag medley of boys that now included the very two Y/N had gone to great lengths to avoid. She tried to ignore the burning weight of both boys’ stares as Y/N finally introduced herself to Shinobu’s new boy toy. Only when she could not possibly avoid them any longer, not without raising questions, did Y/N finally allow herself to turn to them.

“Y/N!” Kyojuro looked so surprised to see her and yet, so overjoyed that it didn’t feel fair.

Y/N could tell by the jerky way the blonde’s arms twitched towards her that he’d been about to envelop her in one of his signature bear hugs, but he’d hesitated, apparently uncertain whether he was still permitted to do so.

Ultimately, Kyojuro’s elation at seeing her once again won over his doubt, and he pulled her in tightly against his chest, his arms squeezing her with a security she hadn’t realized she’d been missing. For the briefest moment, Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut as she allowed herself to thaw, ever so slightly, in the fierce warmth of her friend’s embrace.

It was a mistake; the moment she’d allowed herself to relax, she’d felt the damning prickle of tears behind her eyelids, and an uncomfortable lump had begun to take form in her throat. So with more reluctance than Y/N wanted to acknowledge she felt, she stepped away from Kyojuro, hoping that the dim lights of the club concealed the mist clouding her eyes.

Unfortunately, the end of Y/N’s reunion with her former, fiery friend meant there were no more obstacles, no more distractions, between her and the white-haired, scar-speckled man who gazed at her with an intensity that, to her annoyance, still made her want to squirm.

And as his eyes bore into her, she chanted over and over in her mind for him not to say it, to not let her name fall from his lips, because she could not bear to hear it. It would’ve been easier, so much easier, if he simply pretended like she didn’t exist, because then she could go on pretending like she wasn’t walking around without a heart; like he hadn’t been carrying it with him even all these months later.

His eyes did not match the smirk he had as he said her name, but it still took everything Y/N had not to fold right there.

But she couldn’t, she wouldn’t let him know that he still held any power over her, and so she merely raised an eyebrow at him and smirked back, challenging him.

“Sanemi.”

—————————————————————————

“’Sanemi’ is your name when I’m mad at you,” Y/N warned him, tapping his knuckles with the spoon she used to stir the cake batter. “Otherwise, you’re just ‘Nemi.’”

Sanemi smirked at her, sticking his finger back into the bowl to swipe another glob of cake batter as Y/N mixed Kyojuro’s birthday cake together. “And what about when I’m being annoying?”

Y/N flicked a bit of batter at him, nailing him perfectly on his nose with the chocolate mixture. “Asshole seems the most appropriate.” She squatted down to pull a baking pan out from below her mother’s stove. “Did you remember to get the candles?”

The grocery bag crinkled as her white-haired best friend shook it, the box of candles within jostling. “Sixty-one candles for the sixty-one-year-old man,” Sanemi said proudly.

“Haha,” Y/N mocked, though she swiped the bag from his hand to check to ensure he’d actually bought sixteen and not, as he claimed, sixty-one candles. “I’m impressed. It seems you are capable of following directions.”

Sanemi leaned across the counter and peered up into her face, that damn smirk of his widening as he saw the faint blush creep across her cheeks. “I always follow your directions, Y/N.” He said lowly, raising a finger to wipe a speck of cake batter from her cheek.

“Hardly,” Y/N scoffed, using the need to get Kyojuro’s cake in the oven as an excuse to turn away from him and hide her warming face. “I think you prefer malicious compliance.”

“You wound me!” Sanemi protested, splaying across her mother’s counter in mock-injury. “When have I ever not followed your instructions with a smile on my face?”

Y/N turned back to him with a teasing grin. “’Nemi, since when do you ever smile?”

—————————————————————————

Shinobu’s eyes flickered back and forth between them, a smile forming on her face even as Mitsuri tugged pleadingly at her hand. “Do you two know each other?”

Sanemi said “yes” at the same time Y/N said “no,” and the former’s head snapped to Y/N’s face, who fought to keep her features neutral and cool. “Not anymore, anyways.” She clarified though she refused to acknowledge the way Sanemi flinched in response.

Shinobu looked between them again, her smile fading to something more pensive. Kyojuro only continued to watch Y/N, his expression sad and so very out of place in this castle of infinite pleasure and fun, and Y/N found herself desperate to escape it – to escape them.

Suma, the gods’ gift to the universe, interrupted the tense moment with her arrival, and she produced a small baggie of those lilac pills that promised Y/N’s escape. Y/N could feel both Kyojuro and Sanemi gawking at her as Suma pulled her in close, the little lilac pill already dissolving on her tongue, and kissed her, as they’d done so many times before.

When the raven-haired girl pulled away with a giggle on her lips, Y/N looked back to her former friends and held her tongue out, Suma’s pill now almost completely dissolved in her mouth, and she winked at them. Let them realize that their Y/N was long-gone, buried alongside the mother whose death they refused to acknowledge.

Suma offered the newcomers a pill each, and Y/N was surprised that both accepted. Kyojuro hesitated more than the ivory-haired man next to him, who held Y/N’s eyes as he placed the little tablet on his own wicked tongue, an answer to her earlier challenge. Y/N grimaced at the idea that Sanemi was willing to play along in this little game, willing to impose upon her paradise if it meant torturing her a little more.

So Y/N tossed her hair over her shoulders and turned her back to him, letting Suma and then Makio, tug her back into the crush of people on the dance floor to twirl and grind to the music, as both boys stared after her and she let herself be lost to them once more.

—————————————————————————

He found her the following Friday, as she waited against the bar for her drink.

“And where have you been hidin’ all this time?” Y/N fought the shiver that threatened to lick up her spine at the sound of that cursed, gravelly voice that had always made her weak at the knees.

But Y/N hadn’t spent the last twenty months learning how to keep off of Sanemi Shinazugawa’s radar for nothing, hadn’t learned to keep her grief and rage and pain locked deep inside the empty cavern of her chest, just to crumble under the intensity of that lilac stare.

Y/N threw her head back to swallow the shot of tequila the bartender had placed in front of her before turning to face him. Sanemi looked every bit the simpering, cocky asshole she’d always known him to be, leaning up against the sticky wood of the bar, one fist resting idly under his cheek as he watched her.

She met his gaze evenly, shoulders loose with a relaxedness that she didn’t feel. “I’ve been right here,” she replied smoothly.

Sanemi shook his head, clicking his tongue disapprovingly at her. “Nah, you haven’t,” he downed his own shot of vodka before returning his eyes to her, looking her over in consideration. “Though, I guess it would’ve been hard to know it was you anyways.”

Y/N bristled at the comment but kept her voice light. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

Sanemi watched her carefully for a moment, though his eyebrows furrowed, as though he was struggling to choose his words. “I just wouldn’t have expected to see you in a place like this.” He decided, after a moment, a frown tugging at the corners of his sinful mouth.

It was Y/N’s turn to smirk. “That would assume you knew me at all to begin with,” she challenged, motioning to the bartender for another shot.

Something tightened in Sanemi’s eyes as he held her gaze, and it clenched the knot of unease that had balled in her stomach. “I did, once.”

Y/N kept her face impassive. “Maybe, as a girl.” She accepted her second shot from the bartender and brought it to her lips, biting down on a wince as the sharp burn of the cheap liquid slid down her throat. “But not as a woman.”

Though she did not show it, his words struck a wound deep within her that she’d not realized still festered; because, as hard as she tried to pretend that the man beside her was a mere stranger, his words reminded her of the harsh truth.

She was still in love with him; had been, ever since she’d learned what love meant.

A shadow flashed across his face before disappearing, that insufferable smirk sliding onto his face once more. “I guess you’re right; a girl doesn’t wear a dress like that.” Sanemi purred.

Y/N fluttered her eyelashes at him, a foreign boldness taking over her mind even as the echo of her heart begged her to flee. “Do you like what you see, Sanemi?”

Her former friend’s answering grin was wolfish. “I’ve always liked what I’ve seen of you, Y/N,” he grabbed her last shot from her hand, ignoring the protest in her eyes as he tipped the tequila back easily down his throat. “You just always seem to disappear before I have a chance to properly appreciate you.”

Y/N knew she should run away from him, and fast, but her hand betrayed her as it reached up to brush a bit of confetti from his hair that lingered from earlier. She nearly hummed in satisfaction at the way Sanemi’s breath hitched in his throat as she drew close, her fingers just barely grazing the skin of his forehead.

“Guess you’ll have to catch me.” Was her only response, before Y/N departed for the dance floor and her friends once more.

Sanemi’s eyes remained locked on her the entire night.

————————————————————————

The days blurred into weeks, as Y/N and Sanemi’s new relationship took form.

The convergence of their friend groups was inevitable, though Y/N resented it; but now, they all went out as a unit, rather than as two separate groups which just so happened to run into one another, and it annoyed Y/N to no end.

More annoying was the fact that Sanemi seemed as willing to partake in the sacred ritual of taking Shinobu’s precious Wisteria with them, though he seemed to do it less out of a desire to feel like the flashing strobe lights of the club and more so because he wanted to get on Y/N’s nerves.

“Drugs are bad for your health, y’know,” that damnable gravelly voice snapped her attention away from the Wisteria that sat in Shinobu’s palm.

Sanemi’s shoulder bumped into hers as he came to stand beside her in a darkened corner of the Kizuki’s seating lounge, out of sight from prying eyes as Shinobu dispersed her latest batch of tiny purple pills, a smirk on his lips and a challenge in his eyes.

Y/N scoffed, reaching to take the small offering from her friend’s hand. “And so is that vodka you keep slugging back.” Y/N’s fingers were about to close around the Wisteria when Sanemi plucked it from the dark-haired girl’s hand, a cry of indignation squeaking past Y/N’s lips.

Sanemi held the pill teasingly in front of her mouth as Y/N glowered up at him. “Open up,” he ordered, pinching her key to paradise between his thumb and index finger.

Eyes locked with his, Y/N slowly let her lips part and held out her tongue. Sanemi leaned forward, taking her jaw in his free hand as he placed the small tablet on her tongue with the other.

“Good girl,” he murmured, eyes lowering to her mouth as he watched her, hungrily.

As she accepted the Wisteria from him, Y/N let her tongue flick out and graze against his skin, dragging it lightly up the calloused edge of his index finger before she closed her mouth, letting the tablet dissolve on her tongue. Sanemi exhaled harshly through his nose, his hand gripping her chin possessively as he stared down at her mouth, and Y/N thought for a moment that he was about to give in right there and kiss her.

At the last moment, Kyojuro clapped him on the shoulder as he returned from the bar, and the spell was broken. Y/N blushed slightly as she turned back to Shinobu who made no secret of her raised eyebrow at the exchange between the two former friends.

Later, as she broke away from her friends dancing on the floor, she’d noticed Sanemi for once, was not looking at her, but at the hand he’d used to slip her the Wisteria, an unreadable heat in his eyes.

————————————————————————-

Sanemi liked to watch her while she danced.

At first, it had been unsettling to feel a pair of eyes boring into her back as she bumped and ground against Mitsuri or Suma, head tossed back as she let Shinobu’s pills work their magic, but she’d grown accustomed to it. Now, she craved the knowledge that he was thoroughly transfixed by her, because that meant at the very least, she was filling his thoughts while they were out almost as much as he filled hers every moment of the day, despite her efforts to numb him out of her life.

She’d confided her secret joy in Mitsuri, who’d conspiratorially promised her they would do anything and everything to drive the lilac-eyed man wild with desperation so that he might feel an ounce of the pining he’d shackled Y/N to feeling every time he so much as looked her way.

One night, a gaggle of them had gathered over in one of the Kizuki’s seated lounge areas as Shinobu pressed her Wisteria into their greedy, waiting palms. Sanemi’s eyes were locked on Y/N, as they usually were, as she’d exchanged a knowing glance with her pink-haired best friend and placed her pill beneath the heavy glass of her discarded drink and ground the violet pill into magic dust.

Eyes on Sanemi, Y/N delicately cupped the powder in one hand and brought her free fingers to the low bodice of her corseted top, tugging lightly on the strings to loosen it, inching it down lower to reveal the tops of the twin swells of her breasts, though stopping before she could be accused of exposing herself in public. She then turned her attention back to Mitsuri, her pink-and-green friend watching her with a sugary deviousness that made her stomach bubble with excitement.

Wordlessly, Y/N leaned back on the table, to the cheers and cat-calls of her friends, and she sprinkled some of the violet dust along the exposed top of her cleavage. Mitsuri leaned over her body, all vanilla perfume and pink hair tickling Y/N’s delicate skin as her friend held one nostril closed and inhaled every speck of the amethyst powder with the other. Y/N’s eyes rolled back into her head, and she let out a wanton moan beneath the black lights of the Kizuki, as her best friend kissed her collarbone in thanks.

Sanemi had gruffly excused himself for the bathroom and did not return for another five minutes. In his absence, Mitsuri had slyly let Y/N know that his eyes hadn’t once left her face throughout the entire vulgar exchange, much to her secret delight.

Y/N knew she was dancing closer and closer to the fire.

She knew that Sanemi wasn’t far from snapping, from losing whatever restraint he thought he had when it came to her, as she deliberately pressed each one of his buttons every time their group ventured out.

The next time he came close to breaking was when he saw another put his hands on her.

A hand gripped her ass, and Y/N turned and saw a man with long white hair and odd-colored eyes give her a wink. He was attractive, that was certain, but there was something predatory in his eyes that made her feel gross, so she moved closer to her circle of friends, keeping an eye over her shoulder.

Eventually, the strange man wandered off, and Y/N felt as though she could relax once more as she swung her hips to the beat thumping over the stereo strongly enough to make the dance floor vibrate. Shinobu held out a hand that Y/N eagerly grabbed, her friend twirling her as she laughed, carefree and alive beneath the resplendent rainbow of lights.

The song slowed to something more sensual, and Y/N was about to take her cue and move toward the bar when a hand grazed her upper arm.

Though it had been nearly two years since she’d last felt his touch, Y/N knew only one person capable of bestowing such a warm and gentle caress, even in spite of his hardened appearance.

Sanemi, to her eternal surprise, had made an appearance on the dance floor – his first if she remembered correctly.

His eyebrow was raised in question at her, and Y/N couldn’t help but appreciate he was asking permission to dance with her, rather than just sidling up and grinding on her like any other man would.

Sanemi looked so god damn handsome in that printed short-sleeve shirt. His sleeves had been cuffed to further show off his considerable biceps, and he’d left the top three buttons open, revealing his scarred but downright divinely toned chest. As he leaned in slightly, waiting for her permission, Y/N caught a whiff of his cologne, and it smelled like home.

Fuck it, she thought, her lips curving up into a siren’s smile as he stepped closer to her, bringing one large hand up to hold her waist as they began rocking to the beat of the music. Their foreheads were nearly touching as their bodies pressed closer and closer together, Y/N’s hips completely flush against his as they danced. Their noses brushed, and Y/N realized how dangerously close their lips had come.

Sanemi brought his other hand up to press against the small of her back, the one on her waist tightening slightly. Y/N looped one arm around his neck, her other hand coming to rest against his chest as they ground, Sanemi setting the pace perfectly in time with the beat.

Through her eyelashes, Y/N could see Sanemi’s amethyst gaze drop to her lips.

She knew she should pull away; she knew if she let him close the distance between their lips, she would also be closing the distance she’d spent so much time carefully crafting between her, and him, and even Kyojuro.

But Y/N also knew she couldn’t pull away, either; she’d waited, for so damn long, to know what his lips would feel like, and she was drunk and a little high, so the inhibitions that would normally have sent her running had long since been overshadowed by her unbounded want for him.

She felt his breath against her lips, and she closed her eyes.

Before she could finally achieve her lifelong dream of kissing Sanemi Shinazugawa, the music changed from the slow, sensual beat that they had been grinding to, to something louder, faster, and more exciting.

A scream grew louder as Mitsuri returned from heaving her guts up in the bathroom, and grabbed Y/N’s wrist, wrenching her from Sanemi’s grip and hauling her deeper into the dance floor to rave alongside her.

By the time Y/N was able to emerge from the surging crush of people dancing and raving, Sanemi was already back at the bar, leaning against it with his beer in hand, watching her.

She’d half expected him to look angry, but he only raised his drink at her, in toast.

The smirk that tugged on the corners of his mouth was full of promise.

—————————————————————————

Y/N supposed it was inevitable that this game of cat-and-mouse they’d been playing would end, and end like this.

She’d known where the night was heading the moment she showed up at the club in Mitsuri’s emerald green dress – the one she’d worn her very first time there in that strobe light palace – and saw his eyes darken from lilac to eggplant. Y/N felt the blazing heat of his stare in her bones even as she danced with her girls, could feel his magnetic pull as he watched her like a predator eyeing its next meal.

The more sober part of her was nervous, knew that she was about to cross a line she couldn’t walk back from. She knew that what was about to happen – giving her first time to Sanemi – would do nothing but exacerbate the poisonous love in her heart, but that part of her was so small, so feeble against the fire she felt in her blood as she approached the bar where he stood.

She pretended not to notice that he watched every move she made as she leaned over the ledge to order another shot. Only after the bartender placed the little glass in front of her, only after she tipped her head back and let the acid liquid slide down her throat, did she turn to meet his punishing gaze.

“You really should try joining in on the fun, Sanemi,” she kept her voice at a normal volume, forcing him to lean in slightly to hear her over the pulsing beat of the club music. She resisted the urge to close her eyes as the familiar whiff of his cologne hit her nose, the smell of a home and of a time before he ripped her heart out and stomped it to dust.

Sanemi smirked, and her stomach dipped at just how beautiful he looked, standing there below the pulsing glow of the lights. “I’m havin’ fun watching from here.” His lips were close enough to her ear that she shivered, gooseflesh erupting over her bare arms.

She wouldn’t let him know how much he still got to her, but she also couldn’t resist teasing him a little further, curious to see how far she could push him until he broke. She lifted her hand to pat the part of his chest he’d left exposed, his skin burning under her touch, as she made to pass him.

Sanemi snapped.

He grabbed her hand before she could pull it away and tugged her closer to him, knocking Y/N’s breath from her as he whirled her around and pressed her up against the dirty club wall to kiss her like she’d never been kissed before. He pinned the hand she’d had on his chest against the wall, over her head, while the other burned its imprint onto her waist. His kiss was demanding and hard, but Y/N was addicted to him. She brought her free hand to his neck, digging her nails in slightly to the sensitive skin to elicit a growl from him as he nipped her bottom lip.

Sanemi released the arm he’d pinned to the greasy club wall to hold the side of her face, tilting her head to he could deepen their kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth to dance with her own. Y/N couldn’t control her body as she pressed into him, desperate to feel him against her, to feel him fill every empty part of her until she felt whole again. She knew she was dooming herself further, knew she was only setting herself up to fall harder than she already had, but she couldn’t stop because it was Sanemi, and she loved him.

She felt his growing hardness against her thigh, and she couldn’t stop her hips from grinding against him, heat pooling in her belly. Sanemi moaned into her mouth as her hips undulated against his, and Y/N felt herself go molten at the sound. She wanted to make him do it again and again, but Sanemi tore his mouth from hers before she could.

His chest was heaving, and his eyes were wild and dark as he looked at her. His eyes fell on her reddened, kiss-swollen mouth, and even in the dim light of the club, Y/N could see his pupils explode. He grabbed her hand, and suddenly he was tugging her through the crowded dance floor, through the groups of people near the exit, until they were outside, the night air cool on their overheated skin.

Together, they stumbled down dark, empty streets, though Y/N could not find it in herself to feel afraid, because Sanemi was there, and while he may not have cared about her enough to love her, he was still a gentleman who wouldn’t let her be hurt by anyone but him. They walked as she laughed because he kept stopping and pulling on her hand to kiss her again and again, as though he too, could not get enough of her.

Y/N didn’t know where they were going, but eventually, they arrived at an apartment complex, and it dawned on her that he’d brought her to his home. His lips were on hers the whole walk to his door, never breaking even as he fumbled for his keys. Sanemi finally unlocked the door and pushed her inside his dark apartment, kicking the door shut behind him.

Sanemi’s hands shot for her waist as he crushed her against him, his tongue licking the roof of her mouth. Y/N was sweaty and slightly sticky from the club, but the way Sanemi held her to him made her feel so god damn pretty like he’d been set adrift in a starless sea and she was his only lifeline. Sanemi’s hands moved from her waist to cup her ass, kneading her flesh as he moaned into her mouth again. His hands slid lower, grabbing her thighs to lift her up so her legs could wrap around his waist.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she murmurs, her head tilted back as Sanemi’s lips laid claim to her neck, his hips pressing her harshly against the entryway wall of his apartment.

The snow-haired man groaned, his hands fondling the soft curve of her ass beneath her dress. “Then tell me to stop,” he whispered, his breath hot as his tongue teasingly traced across her collarbone.

Y/N whimpered as she tightened her legs around his hips, locking him closer to her. If he stopped then, she thought she would fall completely apart.

“Tch, just as I thought,” his teeth nipped harshly against her throat as Sanemi pulled back to look into her eyes. “You can’t.”

Sanemi set her down, but he did not pull away, instead kneeling before her to run his large, warm hands up the length of her calves before bringing them around to the back of her knees. He tapped each leg one at a time, signaling her to lift it slightly. With a jolt, Y/N was completely suspended in the air with both legs over his shoulders, as he buried his face into her cunt.

He did not even bother removing the flimsy, lacy thong she’d worn under her dress, choosing instead to bypass it entirely as his tongue dragged right up her slit. Y/N’s head smacked into the wall behind her as she moaned, and she couldn’t tell whether it was the Wisteria or Sanemi that had her seeing fractals of light behind her eyes. She found that she didn’t much care either way, however, because what Sanemi was doing to her felt fucking incredible.

Her fingers fisted in his hair as Sanemi fucked her with his tongue, his teeth grazing across her clit in time with his thrusts into her. He was groaning lewdly as he feasted upon her, eyes lifting every so often to meet hers, to ensure she was enjoying it as much as he was.

“I knew you’d taste fucking sweet,” he muttered as he broke for air, fingers digging firmly into her ass as he hauled her back onto his mouth. His tongue darted in and out of her folds, lapping up every drop of her essence that he coaxed out of her, before he dove right back into her entrance, forcing her to ride his tongue as she writhed above him. Y/N desperately sought to grab onto anything for purchase, so that she could grind harder against his face, but Sanemi had her pinned in the middle of the wall, rendering her helpless to let him tear her first orgasm from her, followed by another, and then another, never once lifting his mouth off her tender core.

Eventually, Sanemi decided he’d had enough, and he moved to carry her to his bedroom. Just after he tossed her onto his plush mattress, there was a moment before he pounced on her when Y/N could really look at him. The only source of light was from the full moon outside, casting everything in Sanemi’s bedroom in its silvery glow. The moonlight illuminated the soft platinum of his hair, made his lavender irises melt into precious gems of amethyst as he raked his eyes over her panting, blushing form. His gaze darkened at the sight of her dress strap, hanging off her shoulder, before dropping to the hem that has ridden up her legs.

Y/N barely had time to take another breath before he was on her again, almost ripping the fabric from her in his haste to get it off, to expose her.

“This fucking dress,” he growled in her ear, finally tugging the zipper all the way down and shoving it down her legs, chucking the flimsy material behind him.

She was almost bare to him, but he was still clothed, far too clothed. Y/N sat up and ripped his shirt, the buttons popping all over the bed while he smirked down at her. She couldn’t find it in herself to be embarrassed, however, because then his skin was touching hers, and it felt like heaven even if Y/N knew she was only descending deeper into hell.

Sanemi graced her lips with one more bruising kiss before beginning his descent down her body, and Y/N felt electrified under his touch.

His hot mouth first came to her bare breasts. “Fuck,” he whispered as he let his tongue trace the first of her mounds, swirling around her hardened nipple before letting his teeth nip gently at her. Y/N squirmed under his ministrations, the sensation foreign to her and yet somehow, it felt wholly right, that the first person to explore her body this way would be him.

Not that she would tell him, of course; she didn’t want him to hold back, she needed him to fuck her as though there was no tomorrow. If he knew it was her first time, he would slow, or perhaps insist on stopping altogether, given that they were both high, and she couldn’t have that.

Sanemi pressed his hips down against hers, pinning her against the mattress and stilling her movements as he took his time lavishing her breasts, covering her in small marks that he soothes with sweet kisses that were enough to get her utterly drunk on him. Y/N let out a high-pitched whine as she felt Sanemi grind against the mattress as he sucked on her other breast, his abdomen pressing deliciously against her aching cunt still covered by the lace of her thong, as she desperately swiveled her hips, eager for him to relieve her once more.

Her desperation spurred his movement, as he detached himself from her breast with a low groan, resuming his descent down her body, pausing only to suck and nip at her stomach, before settling between her legs once more. Sanemi’s lips met the band of her thong and he growled, deep and guttural as he pressed his nose against her, inhaling deeply and letting his tongue flick out once more to lap at her wetness over the rough lace obscuring her from view.

Y/N was nearly sobbing from overstimulation, Sanemi having already ensured she’d finished on his tongue three times in the hallway. Now, she needed him to fill her, and quick, or else she thought she would combust.

“Sanemi,” she whined, and his eyes flicked back up to hers, dark with want. “Please, I need you.”

Her words had an instantaneous effect on the heaving man between her legs, because suddenly his body was covering her own, his weight pressing down on her, and his pants were gone, and he was slamming into her with a force that left her screaming and writhing against his soft sheets.

“Shit!” Sanemi snarled in her ear as his cock plunged into her dripping heat, so tight and so unaccustomed to the thick length now bullying in and out of her with abandon. “You’re so – ah – fuckin’ perfect.”

Y/N was sobbing on his mattress, but not from any discomfort. The combination of Sanemi’s body mixing with the Wisteria had utterly blurred out any pain or unease she felt at the intrusion of his rigid length into her core, and instead, Y/N felt herself shatter into a million pieces, only to be fucked back together again by Sanemi, who kept one bruising hand on her hip while the other ensnared itself in her hair as he thrust wildly in and out of her.

But she was not close enough for him. The silver-haired god above her pulled her legs over his forearms and braced his hands on her inner thighs to spread her wide as he pounded into her, leaning down into her face to make her blush, just like he used to do. Only now, instead of teasing her, he was whispering filth that had her turning scarlet and begging for more.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he grunted, his hips snapping in and out of her with a ferocity that left her breathless. "You've no idea –”

The speed with which he drilled into her propelled them up his bed, but Sanemi moved an arm to come between her head and the wrought iron of his bedframe, protecting her.

“You’re a fucking dream,” he snarled, sitting back on his knees as he began to bounce her against his groin, her breasts jolting with every forceful snap of his hips.

“Sanemi,” Y/N moaned, her back arching off his luxurious sheets as her legs tightened around his hips. Under his breath, Sanemi swore.

“Again,” he croaked, the sticky pap pap of his hips slapping against hers filling his room with the sweet music of their dance. “Say it again.”

Y/N could hardly process his demand over the sensual drag of his cock in and out of her needy walls, Sanemi’s movements chasing every breath from her and replacing it with him, as though there were some parts of her that remained untainted by him.

“Again,” Sanemi insisted, his groin pressing against hers as he ground against her, his rough base swirling over her aching clit demandingly, causing her legs to spasm around his hips.

“S-Sanemi!” Y/N howled as he lifted himself from the mattress by his knees, taking her hips with him as he suspended her half in mid-air and pounded relentlessly into her, rendering her incapable of making any other sound that wasn’t a devotional to him.

Through bleary eyes, Y/N looked to see Sanemi’s own gaze fixed on the way her mouth was frozen in a perfect “o” as he pulled moan after sigh from her throat with his hips, his fingers digging into the plush of her ass as he bounced her up and down his aching member again and again. Y/N arched her back even more, allowing him to hit deeper within her and she felt an unfamiliar pressure begin to build in her stomach.

It was similar to what she felt out in Sanemi’s hallway, beneath his tongue, but this time was different. Every push and drag of his cock into her syrupy wetness had her feeling electric like the lights of the Kizuki club were being strung beneath her skin and plugged in, and she was slowly becoming a beacon of light for the man chasing his own release above her. Her eyes rolled back into her head as that coil wound tightly, Sanemi’s name falling from her mouth like a plea as she begged him to let her fall apart in his arms.

Above her, Sanemi fared no better, as his hips began to jerk and press into her without the steady rhythym he’d so carefully built, a cacophony of snarls and moans pouring from his mouth along with the filth he muttered against her skin as he sucked harshly at her neck.

Sanemi readjusted his stance above her, his thighs pressing hers down into the mattress, and Y/N lost control.

“N-Nemi!” Y/N gasped as the unfamiliar coil in her belly suddenly unwound. She was far too overcome by her pleasure to recognize she’d accidentally used her old, affectionate nickname for him as she reached her peak.

But the slip did not go unnoticed by the snow-haired man rutting into her from above, as the moment the nickname fell from her lips in her haze, Sanemi’s own release followed, his seed barreling into her hot and fast as a pleasured cry of her name tore from his throat.

Sanemi’s hips rolled into hers for what felt like hours as he poured every ounce of himself into her greedy, demanding core, Y/N taking every drip of his cum. It felt exquisite, to have the man she’d so desperately loved for so long be reduced to such a mess by her body, and Y/N savored the way his warmth filled her, as though it were possible of bestowing life back upon her even though it was he who’d chased it away to begin with.

He collapsed atop her, finally spent and satisfied, an arm winding around her waist as he sleepily pressed a kiss into the juncture between her neck and shoulder. Sanemi rolled to his back, pulling her with him, and locking her against his chest as though they were lovers. But the combination of the night’s activities with the dwindling effects of the Wisteria had exhausted him, and it was not long before his chest began rising and falling in a steady pattern of sleep.

Y/N giggled quietly to herself, marveling over the fact that her tolerance for Shinobu’s Wisteria was apparently much higher than his. Under the moonlight, she found her dress puddled in a corner of his room and shrugged it back on, gathering her heels in one hand and locating her bag with the other. She turned back and looked at the sleeping face of the man who still held her heart and smiled slightly, before closing his bedroom door gently and taking off into the summer night.

There was a new ache between her legs, no doubt the product of having her virginity taken in such an enthusiastic way by the man she’d left sleeping in his apartment, though he was none the wiser. Y/N felt oddly satisfied, as though she’d achieved some lifelong goal, as the summer air caressed her face. As she stumbled down the night-warmed pavement back to her apartment, Y/N laughed, her chest feeling light and empty for the first time in a long while.

Want more angst? Smut? Pain? Stick around for part two and see shit literally hit the fan.

Likes, reblogs, tags, and comments are always appreciated!!

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08luvmailz · 4 months

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𓇼 I'VE REMEMBERED . . ਏਓ !

𖥔 ݁ 𓈒 summary 𓍯 he remembered your favorite color — 🎙 contents : angst

The air bore the fragrance of scented candles, dry flowers and melancholy, a symphony of quiet sorrow woven into the tapestry of twilight, where memories slumbered beneath the dew-kissed grass of lost souls. The man's quiet footsteps, hesitant steps with the echoes of eternity echoing at the hushed place, reverberated through the sacred stillness of the sepulchered landscape. His eyes wandered across the cold tiles as his gaze, heavy with the weight of unspoken solace.

He is only here for one person, one destination.

His youthful eyes clouded with grief and sadness but also a relief. Amidst the silence, a transient of his past, reading your name that fluttered between the dusty tombstone like delicate moths drawn to the flame of remembrance. He sat on the chilly grass as his eyes darkened while reading the transcript of the tombstone.

" It's been a while, my dear. " it burned, His throat tightened with hushed words or how the man's lungs crushed with every breath he'd taken. " I can feel you roll your eyes at me. It's been years since I've visited you. You must have been waiting for a long time. " He closed his eyes as he needed to capture the translucent tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

" Do you perhaps hear me? " his words are as gentle as the breeze on a cold Saturday night. It was all too ironic, too painfully evident for his aching heart. " You may not forgive me as I never visited you since the day... you've left me, your family," he confessed to the quietness. Acceptance was never easy in his forte, the cruel duty of how much he cared and loved. It was never enough to let you stay or bask in your radiance that once and finally left.

The wind carried his burden but never left his body like the air he needed constantly breathe to live as years later, he never changed in the slightest bit. " I wish I could know more about you, so I can show myself, can please you. " In the vulnerability of his words, he sighed. The man found solace in the communion of utterances spoken to the wind. " The regret in my stomach filled me like butterflies, as I only wished that I could touch your delicate face as I confess my undying feeling for you. " His fingers brushed gently and tentatively against the engraved letters that etched the name of his one and only.

His hands gripped tightly to the flowers he brought for you. The smell of it wafted in the air as it reminded him what you smell like. It was different you, had a husky-like smell than these floral flowers but it was only a replica of what you smelled like as it was a mere comfort for him. " I've brought you flowers, it may not be your favorite. But it is your favorite color," he confessed, his voice a soft echo in the stillness.

" You may not see the full-bloomed colors of these flowers nor the color itself, I will be your eyes and nose to tell you that they are beautiful and smelled like you, a bit. " He quietly chuckled as his delicate-ragged fingers plucked one petal. The man's touch became an ode as he caressed the plucked petal, A caress to remember that transcended the veil between them.

My memory with you has faded completely, but I will always remember how you, loved these colors.

The rays of sunlight painted the blue sky as the scent of flowers flowed through his brain, the shadow of a lone willow tree twisted and shaped themselves as his figure standing like a lone wolf. His eyes formed from darkness and a hollow void of coloration turned into light like a burning flame like one that flowed crimson red to the skies. " This would be the first and last time that I would visit you; I would continue living my life… without you. " His lips quirked upwards, a smile that could clash with the sunflowers bathing in sunlight.

He moved on, from you. He finally did the next step on his journey

" You showed me things that I wished to see and this time I'm the only one who will see those things. You have my gratitude and that will always be impeccable and irreplaceable. " He laughed as he spoke those words, words of joy tickled by the melody of his laughter, swayed with a rhythm known as his greatest love for you.

He did it, you must have been so proud.

" Goodbye… my dear, I'll see you soon enough. Wait for me a little longer. " As he walked into the embrace of the sunlight caressing his face, with each step, the memories of you two faded from his view, his eyes wandered one last time at your tombstone as the sunlight beamed on the pavement. It was like an unfinished painting awaiting the strokes of a new beginning.

A beginning without you.

— GOJO . GETO . shoto . obanai . TOJI . NANAMI . choso . LEVI . eren . BAKUGO . HAWKS . dabi . KURAPIKA . killua AGED UP! . CHROLLO . choso . zhongli . XIAO . DAINSLEIF . neuvillette . diluc . wriothesley . KAEYA . tartaglia . kaveh . alhaitham ... your faves

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baekberrie · 1 month

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our pages | c.beomgyu

summary: In a university literature class, you and Choi Beomgyu, once estranged best friends, are assigned to rewrite the tragic ending of Romeo and Juliet. During your research in the library, you stumble upon an ancient book. Intrigued by its enigmatic aura, you find yourselves mysteriously drawn to it, and as you delve deeper, you inexplicably fall into a shared slumber. In your reverie, you are forced to embark on a journey of reconciliation and reflection. Guided by the ethereal world within the book's pages, you confront long-buried emotions and rediscover the true depth of your connection.

✧ ex bestfriend! beomgyu x ex bestfriend! reader

✧ romance, estranged best friends to ?? lovers kind of? Romeo and Juliet au, slight angst, forced proximity, hurt, and comfort, a hint of drama and fantasy

✧warnings: kissing, Beomgyu cusses here and there, some tonal switches, many dialogues

a/n: I've read through this one shot at least a hundred times so I skipped the proofreading because I was really eager to post it, i hope there aren't any atrocious mistakes (there shouldn't be). Anyway, happy reading!

✧ w/c: 13.7k (oops??)

“For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”

Mr. Kim’s voice flowed in the silent literature hall, every person letting the tragedy sink in like ink on paper. The professor looked up from his script. “And that concludes the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet-” He spoke in short sentences, however, suspense hung in the air as he halted in his steps across the room.

“But it can’t end like this, don’t you agree?” The class let out a collective hum as they reflected on his enthusiastic question. Mr.Kim took the slightly undersized glasses off the bridge of his nose and placed them on the desk behind him.

It really can’t end like this,” Your best friend, Mia, sniffed into the paw of her sleeve, agreeing silently. Mentally, you shook your head at her dramatic antics. You knew that deep down, she didn’t really give a flying fuck about Romeo and Juliet, but since her toxic boyfriend was pushing and pulling again, it all hit close to home.

“I want you all to find a remedy to their story. I’ll pair you into groups of two, and together you’ll write the better ending for Romeo and Juliet.” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a suggestion, he was dead serious about this project. In all honesty, you found the ancient love story absolutely beautiful, however, couldn’t help but wonder who broke Mr.Kim’s heart enough for him to be so hung up over this fictitious separation.

Mia sneaked her hand into yours, shaking you out of your thoughtful state.

“Don’t you agree?” Her sad deer-like eyes came into your view, begging for your empathy. “It’s so sad, it’s like the worst way to part from someone,” She mumbled through her pouty lips. “ever,” a sniff came from her nose, shoulders slumping as she hit the backrest again.

“The worst way to part with someone?” You thought out loud. If someone were to ask you that question, you would undoubtedly answer with something other than Romeo and Juliet.

Fallouts. You thought. Yeah, those were definitely more painful.

More specifically, the fallout with Choi Beomgyu.

Sure, Romeo and Juliet’s separation hurt, you admitted while watching your best friend sulk about her toxic boyfriend leaving her for the fifth time that month; but have you ever been estranged from the dearest friend you’ve ever had? The question insensitively introduced itself in your head, but you quickly shooed it away. Romeo and Juliet, their love for each other, and the violence that broke them apart ended up becoming one altogether.

But cherishing someone so deeply, only to be cruelly pulled apart from each other, your relationship reduced to nothing but hostility. Leaving you to experience that pain every single time you cross paths with him. Wasn’t that just as painful, if not more? Knowing you’ll never be the way you once were.

Choi Beomgyu was by now a name that shouldn’t be pronounced in your presence, it was a name loaded with so many different feelings that you were better off burying down the deepest holes ever known to man.

You wanted to forget.

But like a cruel joke, the more you pushed it away the more everything would come crashing upon you with double force; The memories your heart cherished despite your efforts to suppress them, every little thing that he had given you, why did it still mean so much to you while all you harbored in your chest was a seething rage at the mere thought of him?

The young man was always smiling whenever you’d walk past each other in the busy hallways of the university. A part of you resented him for that. Whilst you were still stuck in time, he seemed to be completely fine. Like you never were a part of his life.

Has it been that easy for him to forget you?

You didn’t know why you were still hung up over it, even after all the time that had passed. Hence, you could barely recall the last time the two of you had spoken to each other more than two obligatory words. The only reason that you still knew what his voice sounded like was because you shared this literature class. Much to your dismay.

That explained the utter horror, disappointment, and betrayal contorting the features of your face as Mr. Kim’s lips enunciated your and Beomgyu’s name in the same sentence. Silent pleas were sent Mr. Kim’s way as you met his gaze with big eyes, shaking your head slowly and mouthing several desperate no’s. The old man mercilessly slid the information paper on your desk. He knew damn well the two of you weren’t on speaking terms, and yet there you were being paired up for a project where you had to find a better ending for the youthful lovers. The two of you hadn’t been able to find one for yourselves, how in the world were you going to fix Romeo and Juliet’s!?

Picking up your jaw, you whipped around in your seat to send the young man a fiery glare that could hopefully get the message across. But he was looking out the window, painfully obviously avoiding your confrontation. Shoulders dropping, you turned back around, feeling stupid. Don’t act like you care, you reprimanded yourself.

He doesn’t care, so why should you?

To your surprise, he cared enough to wait for you outside of class, and a silly part of your brain thought that maybe this was something you could get done without further problems. But that small hope soon wilted to nothing when Beomgyu opened his foul little mouth.

“I am not doing this with you.” He gritted through his teeth, the hostile tone immediately had your heartbeat quickening in your chest. Squinting your eyes, you pushed the paper Mr. Kim had given you into his chest. Beomgyu’s hands awkwardly fumbled to catch it.

“And I am not doing this on my own.” You hissed, bumping your shoulder into his. “I’ll see you in the library after class.” It was a warning, and Beomgyu should know better than to not show up. Though, deep down you knew that he owed you no such thing.

***

A few people were roaming around the library when you pushed through the glass doors, the wooden pavement creaking underneath the pressure of your feet. The scent of books and pages instantly embraced your senses, and you welcomed it by breathing it in. You found it somehow comforting, how the light of the setting sun laid itself on the walls like the most delicate of paints, and how the dust particles flickered in the sunrays, glistening like tiny stars.

Fingers tracing the long forgotten books on the oldest shelf of the library, dust tickled your nose but your eyes relentlessly kept searching for that title. The kind lady behind the desk had directed you here when you had asked for the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. She had been doubtful about the university library owning such an old piece of literature, but you tested your luck anyway. There was no better way to start this project than by finding different adaptations to compare and review.

A little frown puckered your brows when your fingertips suddenly sunk into the carved title on the back of a book at the end of the line. The color was faded gold painted into the brown leather cover protecting the ancient-looking book.

“Lovestory.” Your lips mouthed the title curiously. Finding the closest table, you threw your things on the next chair and sat down. Hands eagerly opening it, you noted how the yellowing pages were sewn beautifully into the leather.

Before your eyes could find any text, they fell on the odd illustrations. A fading picture of a princess-like woman adorned by a shimmering tiara around her soft hair. Her position was pensive as she stood by the railing of a balcony, staring into the night. However, what seemed to strike you about the picture was how her face was nonexistent. It wasn’t as if her face had faded with the age of the book, hence more like it had never been painted on purpose.

You felt your eyes droop tiredly as your gaze found the first sentences written in cursive ink. Your lips mumbled the sentences absentmindedly as you read.

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes, and the flashback starts

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air…

***

Many internal battles had taken place in the head of the young man. He hated to admit that he lost every single one of them, as he found himself standing in front of the glass doors of the library.

With a heavy sigh, he pushed his way in, nose taking in the woody smell etched onto the walls. His eyes scanned for the familiar face, but to his dismay, you were nowhere to be found. A frown creased his forehead as he started taking hesitant steps inside, figuring he would have to search for you deeper within the library.

The book archive felt like a maze as Beomgyu walked through every aisle and still did not find the slightest sign of you. For a moment he thought that you’d already headed home, successfully fooling him. Eyebrows twitching, he could feel his blood starting to boil.

Was that it? Had he really just lost this battle against you? Beomgyu wasn’t sure what he had expected once he’d convinced himself that he owed you this one since it was for a project, but it certainly hadn’t crossed his mind that you would pull such a petty little trick to get back at him. And he had fallen for it-

Beomgyu’s angry stomping suddenly halted when he found himself in an unrecognizable part of the library. He had been so deep within his inner turmoil that he hadn’t paid any attention to where he had unconsciously brought himself.

It surprised him, though, that out of all the spots he could’ve wandered into, he managed to blindly find you.

For there you were, hunched over the round table by the window, cheek squished against an open book with your parted lips threatening to salivate on its pages. Once Beomgyu had willed himself to step closer, the louder your snores resonated. He couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his throat at the familiar sight. Sitting himself on the opposite seat, he took a short moment to soak in the situation. It felt odd. He couldn’t remember the last time the two of you had been in each other’s presence like this, basking in the peaceful warmth of the sunset. Well, this was only possible because you were far into dreamland. He knew that if the both of you were to be awake, this would not have been a friendly meeting.

His gaze traveled along your features, following the path that your hair made while scattered over the table, covering the book you had approved as a very comfortable pillow, for you to snore like that, he thought.

But that was when it hit him.

The book. What book were you even reading? Beomgyu felt an unknown sense of curiosity and urge flow within him, sending an itch into his fingers. Ever so gently, he caressed your hair and tucked an amount behind your ear, revealing the old novel you had been reading. A confused frown puckered his brows as he saw the antiquity of it. Carefully, he removed it from the captivity of your head, but not without making sure that your cheek landed back down softly, with his palm gently guiding your face safely to the surface again.

Beomgyu closed the book to admire its build, with the old leather running underneath his fingertips, he pronounced the carved-out title of the book.

Lovestory.

He flipped it open, the first page revealing the suave illustration of a beautiful young woman from a long time ago. It didn’t take him much to know that whatever this book was about, the heroine of this story was her. For some reason, Beomgyu felt a sense of familiarity wash over him by looking at the illustration. Then it dawned on him and a shiver ran down his spine, fingers tightening around the page.

“This girl looks an awful lot like-“ he gasped, looking away from the yellowing pages down to your sleeping figure in front of him, making sure that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. Only to realize that the lady in the book was identical to you.

No, actually,

It was you.

"What the fuck.” The young man shuddered, nothing less than creeped out. For a split second, he considered closing the book. But his curiosity was stronger than him, and before he knew what he was doing, his hand had already flipped over to the following page. The new illustration was only going to perplex the boy further. His lips fell open, completely entranced as his orbs drank in the sight of you in a beautiful dress and a shimmering tiara coronating your head. You were standing on a balcony, hand reaching out to a man climbing his way up to you. Roses and flowers surrounded the two. Nothing short of a fairytale.

In this scene, he had seen it somewhere, but he couldn’t pinpoint it just yet, although the answer was tickling his tongue.

The man climbing your balcony was the most confusing feature to him, for he had no face. Beomgyu couldn’t tell whether the paper was just old enough to be faded, or if it had never been painted. But even then, it made no sense. Because your face, your rosy cheeks, and your sparkling eyes were ever so vivid. Almost as if you’d jumped right into the book. Beomgyu eventually spotted the worn-out text underneath the picture, and read it out.

See the lights, the party, the ball gowns

See you make your way through the crowd

Little did I know…

That you were Ro-

A yawn broke through his lips, his eyelids felt like they weighed tons as he slowly let them fall shut, head coming to rest upon the open book. Beomgyu tried to fight the sudden tiredness in his mind, but the slumber taking over him was like the song of a mermaid luring him in.

Just like that, he had fallen into dreamland as well, missing the way the faceless man climbing the balcony came to life.

Beomgyu felt his body jolt awake, his eyes shot open after what felt like just a few seconds- but the view in front of him was nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. There was no library, no old books, but most importantly, you weren’t there. However, before he could even start to worry, a strong arm came around his shoulders, an unknown figure pulling him close.

“Romeo! Why did you leave us like that?”

What?

Beomgyu turned his head to find a young man just about his age, his Cheshire-like eyes stared at him with a mischievous smile through a mask that covered just half of his face. The ornament was beautiful, with sparkling gold patterns scattered onto it. His gaze traveled to the man’s clothes, noticing the Renaissance details. Beomgyu winced when he recognized the man.

”Yeonjun?” He asked, baffled. ”What are you doing here?”

The man in question narrowed his eyes helplessly, hesitancy vibrating in his voice as he spoke. ”Yeon…Pardon me?” His confusion was slowly becoming Beomgyu’s very own as well.

”What do you mean pardon?” Beomgyu scratched the back of his head, he was sure that this man was his best friend Yeonjun and not someone he had mistaken.

”Yeonjun, can you be serious for one second, what are we doing here?” He snapped, noticing the way Yeonjun was looking him up and down with uncertainty.

Beomgyu checked his clothing quickly, confirming his suspicion. He was also wearing elegant pieces that resembled the ones of his friend. Only then did he realize the weight of the mask resting upon his nose. His hand reached upwards, fingertips running along its curves.

”And why are you wearing these clothes? Let’s take it off!” He started pulling the first buttons of his shirt open, causing the friend to panic as he grabbed Beomgyu’s hands at the speed of light. Confusion swirled in his dark eyes.

”You must have lost your wits, my friend, I am Mercutio! Don’t tell me you have forgotten. Did someone poison you?” Yeonjun, or should he say Mercutio? Brought him closer to inspect if he had any injuries. Beomgyu had a hard time keeping his jaw up as he watched his friend act like he wouldn’t usually laugh with joy whenever he was in misery. Yeonjun’s brows were scrunched in worry as his hands gently tapped his cheeks.

”You appear unaffected, though…” The older man continued to murmur through his pouting lips to himself, and that itself confirmed Beomgyu’s conclusion that all of this was a dream.

It was the first time that the boy woke up in a dream. There was an odd feeling in his body that he couldn’t quite pinpoint, and the more he pondered on it, the harder it became to put his finger on it. But for some reason, he accepted the circumstances pretty quickly. It wasn’t so out of pocket for a dream to be ridiculous, hence, he’d had crazier dreams than this, so why not go with the flow?

“I apologize?” Beomgyu tried his luck with the words. Although they were studying about the Renaissance at university, he had no clue about how they used to speak at that time.

“I could not fight my eagerness, friend.” Cheeks meeting his eyes, Beomgyu reassured him. Relief replaced immediately Mercutio's previous worry like it had never been there, laughing knowingly and pulling him along to wherever they had been destined.

Music and cheerful chatter from afar danced in the nightly air, the boy could spot a grand castle-like building in the distance. The place emitted a warm light and an inviting aura that called for him.

As they went on, the only thing Beomgyu had discovered was how they were not supposed to enter this masquerade behind the walls facing them. It wasn't a simple, you're not invited. But a pretty serious risk for trouble. And yet, his friend charmed the guards with his convincing acting, successfully fooling them into allowing them to enter. Well, it seemed like Yeonjun still had some of his actual traits despite acting like a madman just a few moments ago.

The main event started just as the two young men had made their way in. Beomgyu’s lips parted in shock at the amount of people roaming the hall. This wasn’t just any party, he realized, it was a whole ball. The women were dressed ever so beautifully, each gently targeting their man of interest with a mere gaze through their masks, hoping that they would come to sweep them off their feet.

“Welcome Gentlemen!” A man whom Beomgyu understood couldn’t be anyone but the lord of the house, warmly saluted his guests, shaking their hands heartily. “Come in! Come in!” He waved Beomgyu and his friends in, not having the tiniest suspicion upon seeing these masked youths enter his party. His mood seemed to have touched the stars as he gladly spoke to everyone.

“Who is that?” Beomgyu carefully whispered to Yeonjun, not knowing what answer he was expecting. His gaze was too busy scanning the hectic crowd to even see the deflated shoulders and exasperated gaze of Mercutio.

“What query is this?” He reprimanded, “Do not feign ignorance of the visage of a Capulet, Romeo."

Capulet.

Wait, Romeo?

His head whipped to look at his friend. Eyes wide, struggling to keep himself up.

“Is my name Romeo?” Beomgyu spoke a little too loud, earning a few looks from around. He couldn’t explain the sudden sense of fear in the revelation. It was just a dream after all. A really stupid one at that. Why the hell would he dream about being Romeo? Had Mr. Kim shoveled this Romeo and Juliet agenda so far down his throat that he ended up dreaming about it?

Mercutio sent daggers through his eyes, warning him to keep quiet.

“Have you taken leave of your senses, my friend?!” He yelled in hushed tones. “Do not reveal yourself like that! Be vigilant for Tybalt and hush.” With a shake of his head, Mercutio averted his gaze back to the Capulet patriarch who was currently inviting every lady to dance without a worry in the world.

“My ladies, it would be a delight to see you dancing! Only those girls with corns at their feet will say no! Do not shy away, may all of you please yourselves with this dance!” Capulet exclaimed, animatedly speaking with his hands, throwing them up in the air. His delighted laughter echoed against the stone walls as he with glistening eyes signaled the musicians to start playing.

Let the party begin.

Beomgyu watched his “friends” adjust their masks, nodding at each other knowingly, not forgetting to acknowledge him as well before they all dispersed themselves into the crowd with the plan of enjoying themselves.

And that was how he found himself leaning against the wall by himself, slightly shivering at its low temperature. His gaze wandered along the surroundings. The warm fairy lights, the extravagant ball gowns. Women wearing shy expressions whilst putting their hands in another man’s palm. While others smiled like they had been waiting their whole life for this occasion and dragged their men to the dance floor. Despite his confusion as to why he was dreaming of such specific happenings, it still was an amusing sight to see how people in the old ages seemed to act just like today’s young people did.

Rather than dreaming so vividly, Beomgyu felt like he was watching a story unfold right in front of him.

Beomgyu’s long train of thought was cut by the jump that his heart made to his throat as a certain someone entered his field of view. There she was, dancing in the arms of a man unknown to him, but at that moment, it didn’t matter who was accompanying her. Beomgyu’s lips fell apart as he drank in her movements that were light as though a floating feather. The white dress hugging her chest fell like the most breathtaking waterfall down to her feet, fluttering behind her as she danced across the floor. The tiara on her head glittered like stars scattered over her hair and at that moment, the young man couldn’t be more sure of this being a dream.

There she was.

He didn’t even have to ask to know who the ethereal woman was.

Juliet.

Little did he know, that wasn’t Juliet.

The same way that he wasn’t Romeo.

That was you.

An unknown force surged within him, a newfound resolution. And before he was even aware of what he was doing, his body was already pushing through the dancing crowd to get to you. His mind was in a haze as he chased you who moved like a fairytale. There was an urge in his movements, almost like you’d disappear if he’d be even a second too late. Beomgyu could barely recognize himself, it was as if a part of Romeo had rooted itself within him. It seemed like he’d be sharing every emotion, every thought of the youth in love tonight.

His heart was drumming relentlessly against his chest, asking to be set free as he extended his arm out, successfully grabbing your soft hand. A gasp came from your lips as Beomgyu spun you into his arms. Chest rising and deflating in heavy breaths, the young man looked almost desperate as he searched for your gaze.

Was I in love before? My eyes convinced me not, since I never realized what true beauty is before tonight. Romeo’s words echoed in Beomgyu’s head as if they were his very own thoughts, but he shook them away whilst taking you to a less crowded space.

“Beomgyu?” He heard your voice for the first time since he saw you, and its sound grounded him in the chaos of this ridiculous dream.

“Why are you in my dream?” The question had the young man halt in his steps, spinning on the balls of his feet to see your genuinely confused frown.

“What do you mean by your dream?” Beomgyu cocked a brow, feeling how Romeo’s overwhelming emotions were finally being suppressed by his usual self.

“This is my dream, I can be here all I want.”

You shook your head, for a short moment drawing his gaze to the sparkling tiara on your head. “I was here first.” You deadpanned, only to see Beomgyu’s face fall in disbelief.

“There is no such thing in a dream, what the hell are you talking about?” The boy felt his frustration rise, but so did you upon hearing his tone.

“Woah,” you breathed out, crossing your arms. “You’re still an asshole despite this being a dream.”

Beomgyu’s lips pressed into a thin line at your statement, he couldn’t find any words to defend himself.

“Look,” you sighed, ending the short silence before it could become heavier.

“I don’t know why I’m having you in my dream but please leave, go your own way, I don’t care.” Your fingers slowly went to hug your body as you averted your gaze away. “I just want to continue this dream for as long as I can, let me be Juliet in peace and we won’t have any more problems.” Although you hadn’t let anything on, Beomgyu could still spot the hurt in your voice as you begged him to leave and it put an unexplainable weight on his chest.

The pain in your voice was an ancient one.

He should have wanted to leave, but inexplicably, he found himself unable to take even a single step away from you. Beomgyu was unsure if it was Romeo once again plaguing him with his emotions or if he was starting to lose his mind. Because what he said next caught him off guard, just as much as the previous thoughts had.

“But I am Romeo.”

You looked at him from underneath your lashes, arms falling limply to your sides.

“No, you’re not.” You said weakly, dejected. The insistence on rejecting him felt all too familiar, flashbacks of the past clouded his head for a second and he felt dread shroud his being.

The young man insisted, "Yes, I am. And you're Juliet," as he nodded at you. What was he trying to prove? He didn't know. Was he attempting to prolong the conversation with you? Perhaps, but the reason behind it eluded him. Despite his confusion, something about this entire experience felt authentic. It couldn't have been a mere coincidence that the two of you met in this dream as the two youths in love.

“It doesn’t matter-“ You were ready to turn around, and seeing your back about to face him made a sense of panic tighten his chest.

“Isn’t it odd though?” He interjected before you could completely face away from him.

You halted your movements with a frown, silently telling him to go on.

“Why are we, out of all people, meeting here, in these specific circumstances?”

“Where are you getting with this, Beomgyu, what is it to you? I don’t get it.” You tried to dismiss his words, although they had already found their way under your skin quicker than you’d liked.

Lips pressed together, his eyes chasing your gaze. It was almost as if he was thinking out loud. "I'm sorry," he murmured with a shaky voice. "I didn't mean to start on the wrong foot. I..." He ran his fingers through his hair, a familiar gesture you've seen him do for years. You could see his frustration growing. Beomgyu seemed to be struggling with something, and it was starting to show. The resolve he had held onto for so long was starting to crumble, and he realized just how exhausted he was to pretend.

To pretend like he hated you.

The longer he took you in, the more he felt himself slip like sand through the cracks of his hands.

He did miss you. And this was just a dream, anyway.

So it wouldn't hurt to act however he- Romeo felt like, right?

He drew in a deep breath before pronouncing the words that were dancing just on the top of his tongue, words that he had been holding back since the very second he'd seen you in the dancing crowd.

"Can we just forget everything between us, and let whatever this is…continue?" His head hung low like the hope in his heart, expecting a harsh rejection. He wouldn't blame you, he was making no sense. One second he was raging against you and the next he was begging you to let him stay with you. Maybe he was out of his mind, but for some reason as he looked at you, nothing mattered. You were the most beautiful creature God created and the reason for his life-

"Okay," your gentle voice cut through, and the boy jolted with joy at the positive response. Your shimmering eyes showed surrender, the twinkle of someone who did not want to fight.

Your gazes locked for a few moments, the silence thick and uncertain. Beomgyu's cheeks dusted an embarrassed shade of pink as he left your eyes to look elsewhere.

"So what now?" A nervous laugh spilled from his lips.

You murmured to him, "You have to say your lines." making him almost bashful underneath your unwavering stare. You knew it was rude to stare, but there was no way you couldn't be savoring this moment.

"Huh?"

"You have to let the Romeo within you speak, only that way, the story can continue." Having been within this dream longer, you had already figured its system out. You had expected the boy to look at you with confusion, but he surprised you when he nodded with determination.

Letting his eyelids fall shut, he took a deep breath and opened the doors of his heart to the youth whose love was like a burning rose- beautiful and passionate.

A gasp left his lips at the sudden wildfire spreading in his chest. Eyes fluttering open, he hastily walked up to you. Romeo's urgency ran through his veins as he desperately took your hands in his. The light in Beomgyu's eyes had changed, his eyebrows bent in pain as he searched for your gaze but only found uncertainty and worry. He quickly withdrew his hands from yours, causing you to miss the comforting warmth of his touch.

“I fear I’ve defiled your hands, which are like a holy shrine to me, by touching them with my own unworthy hands.” From his eyes dropped honey as he took you in, lips tenderly speaking to your heart. Your heart pounded furiously in your chest, its rhythmic thumping echoing in your ears. You couldn't tell if it was your heart or Juliet's that was racing at breakneck speed. The emotions that surged within you were like nothing you had ever felt before, a mixture of fear, excitement, and uncertainty that left your throat feeling tight. You were lost in Beomgyu's captivating gaze, his deep brown eyes like vast oceans that threatened to swallow you whole. For a moment, you forgot where you were and who you were with, lost in a universe of your own. Breaking your long eye contact, you hastily spun around, allowing the young man to only face your back.

As you stared into the starry night, you were slowly understanding the depth of this love, a love you’ve always deemed so unreal. But as you donned the young woman’s clothes, you couldn’t help but hope that this could end in a different way than it was destined to.

Despite you turning your back, the enamored young Romeo was not easily discouraged. You heard him move closer, the sweet scent of his skin caressing your senses as he leaned over your shoulder, lips brushing against your ear as he murmured;

“But I have an agreeable way to make it up to you. My lips are ready to smooth over that rough touch with a tender kiss, like two devoted pilgrims before a holy place.”

It felt as if you’d grown a second heart swelling with excitement behind your ribcage, yearning to let its wings soar. At that point, it was hard to tell if the eager butterflies fluttering their wings and dancing in your belly were your own or Juliet's. But it didn’t matter, you realized. You wanted to savor every moment, you wanted every instant to etch itself into your memory so that you could rewatch it in eternity. With hasty movements, you faced him again, not missing the way his face lit up.

”Good worshiper, you’re too harsh on your own hand,” Beomgyu watched with devotion as you picked his wrist up, and with your other hand ran the tips of your fingers along his own, aligning them until his palm was softly kissing yours.

”as it shows a perfectly polite devotion by holding mine.” You let your gaze meet his.

”After all, pilgrims touch the hands of saints, and the hands kiss when their palms are brought together.” You breathed, in your mind tracing the silver lines of the moon illuminating Beomgyu’s features, adoring the sweet shadow that his long lashes cast down his blushing cheeks.

The male stepped closer, your kissing palms now between your chests pressing against one another, a soft breeze brushed through the long, brown locks caressing his neck.

”Yes, but don’t the saints and the worshipers have lips, too?” He curled a brow, searching for your gaze, but your eyes shied away as you settled for your intertwined hands.

”Yes, pilgrim,” you swallowed, still looking down, ”lips that they should use for prayer.”

Beomgyu’s hand left yours, and for a moment you felt your heart drop. Until his fingers soon eagerly returned to caress your rosy cheek.

”Well then, dear saint, let our lips do what our hands are doing.” His palm finally embraced your face, the pad of his thumb softly rubbing back and forth the surface of your skin. ”They’re praying for something after all, a kiss, so their faith doesn’t turn into despair.” Daringly, he lifted your chin so you could meet his gaze. Your heart raced as you whispered your response.” Saints don’t act first,” Your eyes drifted from his gaze, down the tall bridge of his nose, and onto his plush lips, despite the words that threatened to escape your throat.

"Although they may respond to prayers." It was as if the both of you had been cast under a spell. The most beautiful spell known to man, completely immersed in the addictive sweetness of this love, neither of you wanted to pull away.

Eyes hooding, threatening to fall shut at any moment. It was the effect of the powdery scent deriving from the whole of you. A wish to be wrapped up in it ignited within him. Beomgyu had barely noticed how minimal the distance between you had become. His lips were hovering over yours, breaths mingling into one single source of air.

”Then don’t move while I get my prayers answered.” Beomgyu breathed before his pillows landed between yours, a sweetness spreading on your palate reminding the inner Juliet of the delight of honey and milk. He sighed with relief when your lips responded to his as if this kiss had truly saved your faith from turning into despair. As if your lips had saved him from a lifelong agony.

Your lips detached slowly and hesitantly, only letting go for the sake of your lungs.

”Now all the sin has been purged from my lips thanks to yours.” A sweet smile that he couldn’t hold back spread on his lips as his orbs traced the beauty of your face. What kind of blessed dream was this, to have Beomgyu looking at you like that?

You couldn’t resist the contagiousness of his joy. ”Then that sin has passed from your lips to mine.” You beamed.

”A sin from my lips?” He repeated with feigned shock, a sweet laugh hearable in his timbre. ”Oh what a sweetly suggested trespass! Give it back to me.” His lips crashed once again upon yours, hands cradling your cheeks as his mouth gently parted yours.

”You kiss by the book.” You said through your slightly swollen lips, eyes smiling behind your cheeks. He chuckled breathily. Both of you had forgotten who you truly were.

”Juliet! Juliet!!” A woman’s voice called for you, and it took you a while before you realized that you had to react. Realization seemed to dawn on Beomgyu as well as the smile dissipated from his lips, the honey in his eyes replaced by confusion and you felt your heart break a little.

”What did we just-”

”I have to go,” You didn’t let him finish his sentence, telling yourself that it was because you had to flee the scene for the story to proceed. Deep down knowing that you were protecting your heart from a pain you had sworn you wouldn’t ever feel again because you and Beomgyu were over. But that was in real life, so why was that expression of Beomgyu’s following you even in this seemingly sweet dream?

A bitter laugh rang into the summer night as you started running away from the stunned man. So was this a joke? How could you have thought that being Juliet would have brought you anything less than pain?

What a fool you were.

“Juliet!” You heard once again when rounding the corner of the castle. Your best friend Mia appeared, dressed in clothes less refined than yours, still reflecting the fashion of the ancient century. You could imagine that her rank was significantly lower than yours. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you, Lady Juliet.” She gasped, clearly winded from the marathon she must have run whilst looking for you. You were insecure about how to reply, not quite sure of which character she was supposed to fulfill. If you and Beomgyu were the star crossed-lovers, then perhaps she was…?

“Come with me! Your curfew has long passed, we must hasten!” Mia urged her voice a loud whisper that still managed to echo slightly against the stony walls surrounding you. Gently grabbing your wrist, she propelled you forward with a force unexpected for a tiny girl like her. With brisk steps, the two of you walked down a stone path leading to a hidden passage.

“Who might you be, pardon my question?”

The young woman halted her stride abruptly, long hair flowing down her back as she turned to cast you with an incredulous gaze. “Have you lost your wits entirely to that Romeo?” she exclaimed. “I warned you he was unsuitable for you, my lady!” She surely knew her stuff, you noted, and was pretty opinionated as well. But that was nothing short of Mia. You couldn’t help the tiny smile that was etched onto your face. Her presence brought you an infinite amount of comfort.

“I can sense our dear friendship, but forgive that I cannot quite recall…” You inquired once more, sporting a playful pout on your rosy lips. The young woman’s shoulders visibly sagged with surrender as she took a small step to face you fully.

“I am your faithful Nurse, my lady,” she replied with a slight curtsey, her expression softening with affection. "M'lady, your forgetfulness after meeting with that gentleman truly wounds me." She sniffed and adverted her gaze elsewhere, something she’d usually do when she feigned anger in your regards. The soft moonlight danced on her pretty cheeks and you couldn’t help but note how this era flattered her ancient beauty.

“Please, let us retreat to my chamber, there I’ll tell you all about my encounter with Romeo.” If you knew your best friend, then you were sure that there was no better bait than her favorite topic; love. She was judgemental of Romeo but deep down, you knew that she would devour any details of your faithful encounter with the lad. Not that you were enthusiastic about recalling it, for reasons all too clear.

You watched as Mia’s eyes widened with joy and excitement, her hands coming together into a thankful hold. Cheeks meeting her sparkling irises into the biggest smile you’d ever witnessed. You knew you had won her over.

***

A few hours had gone since your Nurse had left your room. She’d squealed like a tiny hamster and kicked her feet like a high-school girl upon hearing what had happened between you and Beom…Romeo, as if she hadn’t completely regarded him as unsuitable just a few minutes prior. But you weren’t a bit surprised, she was a known sucker for romance. But perhaps, you were a little too.

Now that she was gone though, you found yourself completely unable to unwind.

You had spent the entire night, wide-eyed, watching the moonlight caress the walls of your room, until it slowly gave way to the warm hues of daylight. You had lost track of the countless sunsets and sunrises that had passed since you made your escape from the scene a few days ago. As you sat on the balcony, feeling the sweet breeze on your skin, you couldn't help but ponder over the situation. It occurred to you that nothing significant had happened since you left, leaving you wondering if the story had come to a pause until you and Beomgyu met again. You kicked up the hem of your long dress to let the wind cool your warm skin.

You felt the blood rush to your cheeks as you recalled the insane kiss with Beomgyu. The pressure of the kiss still lingered on top of your lips along with that sweet scent of his that had etched itself onto your memory. His warm fingertips that had caressed your cheeks, his lashes tickling your skin. Were dreams truly so vivid?

"That's a big problem," you muttered to yourself as you walked back into the beautiful room you were slowly growing accustomed to. You’d never even dared to dream of owning such a priceless chamber, filled with even more valuable furniture.

Throwing yourself back onto the soft bed, you rolled onto your stomach, feeling the weight of your worries pressing down on your chest. You hugged the nearest pillow to yourself, hoping it would somehow alleviate the ache in your heart. You couldn't help but let the worst thoughts cloud your mind as time passed, yet seemed so sickeningly still. A muffled scream vibrated against the lavish fabric of the pillow now pressed against your face, a desperate attempt to release the pent-up anxiousness and frustration you felt. Your feet kicked against the mattress. Would Beomgyu think less of you now? Would he even want to see you again after such a…kiss? The questions swirled around in your head, taunting you with their uncertainty.“Romeo…” You sighed slowly, “Beomgyu out of all, why did you have to be Romeo…” You complained only to be met by silence.

“Ngh-” A sudden grunt deriving from the balcony had you scramble up from your past position with haste. Hair disheveled, Beomgyu had one leg over the railing of your balcony. The dagger hanging around his waist crinkled as he landed with a thump. His shirt was slightly scrunched up and you thought you saw a leaf tangled in his soft locks before you got distracted by his voice when he puffed out his next words.

“Why the hell are there so many guards around here?!” He huffed, dusting his pants. He was standing by the big opening of your room, the long curtains by your windows fluttering him welcome along the dancing breeze.

As if your legs had given out, you couldn't find any strength to step off the bed as you incredulously took in the very man who had been keeping you up for consecutive nights.

“Beomgyu?” Your voice faltered. It felt unreal to see Beomgyu standing there. Did his visit mean he wasn't mad or bothered by the kiss? The young man seemed unbothered as he coyly welcomed himself into your chamber, sitting himself down on your bed with a deep sigh and sprawling his tired legs before him. “hmm,” He hummed hoarsely, his arms extended behind him as he leaned his head back. Staring up at the endless details of your painted ceiling made him feel dizzy.

He was avoiding your gaze, you noted. The silence was thick and the slight tensing of his jaw told you that he was also battling an inner turmoil. Perhaps that matter was better off unsolved, you told yourself. It wasn’t your true self acting that night anyway.

Yes, you concluded. It was better this way. The weight lifted itself off your chest.

Just as your lips were about to part with a sigh, breaking the heavy silence, the young man beat you to it. “We’ve been stuck here for days,” Beomgyu remarked, his gaze still fixed on the celestial ceiling. You pressed your lips together, silently concurring as you nodded. Fidgeting with the delicate lace of your dress, you missed the glance Beomgyu stole at you.

“If we don’t do something soon, I fear the story will remain frozen in time,” your voice whispered gently, tip-toeing through the air to reach his ears, “forever.” Finally, your eyes met his, locking in a silent pact of understanding. Something suddenly flickered in his gaze, a dreadful kind of realization that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“What if the fastest way to get out of here is to…” Beomgyu’s voice came out delicate and uneasy, fading into the sentence as he feared his own words. Swallowing thickly, he parted his lips again. “Die, the way Romeo and Juliet did.”

Your breath caught as the implication sank in.

Mouth agape and trembling, unable to say anything for a while.

“We have to die…” You repeated with disbelief, albeit agreeingly as you recalled the tragic ending of the star-crossed lovers.

Beomgyu nodded, his expression solemn. "It's the only way I can think of. Maybe... maybe that's what the dream wants. Closure. An ending."

Your heart plummeted into the pit of your stomach at the thought, but there was a deviant sense of inevitability settling over you. "But... what happens after? What if we can't wake up?"

The boy could only find it in himself to lift his shoulders in a sincere shrug.

“I can’t say,” He confessed thoughtfully. “It’s a scary thought, I understand if you don’t want to try this solution-”

“No,” In opposition to the doubt that had started seeping into his voice, you felt the determination swarm your chest as you suddenly rose to your feet.

“We’ll do it.” You interjected firmly. Beomgyu watched you wide-eyed, skin tingling as you gently took his hand in yours, pulling him up towards you. Having lost Beomgyu that faithful day, you were pretty sure that you’d already lost everything. You had nothing else at risk. It was all just a bittersweet dream after all. None of this was real.

He seemed to have lost his tongue, or perhaps he had lost himself in your gaze, his ears ringing with his very own heartbeat.

“Are you sure?” In his warm irises danced small flickers of concern and admiration. The underlying fear in his deep timbre comforted you. This was the most the two of you had ever talked in years. The lack of hostility felt unfamiliar, but a rare gift. You wished to never forget the soft expression on his features and the concern he was mustering towards you.

Perhaps, somewhere in his heart, he did still care for you.

“I’m sure,” your unwavering determination had the corner of his lips lift, a small, barely noticeable smile. A glimmer of hope twinkled in his eyes. In reality, your head was spinning and the fear was consuming you from the inside. But you wouldn’t back away. "If this is what it takes to break free from this endless cycle, then we have to try," you affirmed.

"Alright," he whispered, his fingers tightening around yours in a silent promise. "Together, then." You nodded, egging him to go on.

The air was thick with anticipation, the echoes of your impending fate whispering through the stillness.

Beomgyu's voice was steady as he spoke. "My dearest Juliet, if this be our destiny, then let us meet it with courage and love."

Your breath caught in your throat as you met his gaze, the depth of his brown eyes reflecting the same fear and determination swimming in yours. "My sweet Romeo, together in life and death, our love shall transcend even the boundaries of this dream." You breathed out.

The youth nodded with a sense of grief etching onto the strings of his heart. Bringing your trembling fingers to his wavering lips, he pressed them against your cool skin and closed his eyes. "Farewell, my love," he murmured against your hand.

A shudder left your mouth as you echoed his broken words, and Juliet’s tears welled up in your eyes.

“Farewell, my dearest,” You spoke barely above a whisper, a gentle hand reached for the apple of his cheek where the dampness of the summer heat lingered. Your thumb left tender strokes on the surface of his skin. Your feet slowly rose onto your toes, noses grazing and eyelashes tickling each other's cheeks. Brushing your lips against his for the last time.

A feather-light pressure on his pillows transcended into something deeper, more beautiful when he parted his lips slowly against yours. Agony and comfort were all you could taste. Your heart ached when you parted. Beomgyu’s eyes remained closed as a pained expression contorted his brows. "Together, my love," he reminded, perhaps to give himself more courage as he reached for the side of your hair, taking out the sharp jewelry that had been holding your locks up. Hair cascading softly onto your shoulders, you reached out for the dagger that had been hanging by his waist. Taking a deep, shaky breath, you nodded once more. Directing it towards your stomach.

Your breath got lost in your lungs as you pushed the dagger further, edges puncturing through your body. With your eyes squeezed shut, you dreaded for the pain to settle. The thick silence only offered the rhythm of your staggering breaths, until the noise of something cracking pierced through the air. Looking down hastily, you witnessed the surreal view of the dagger in your hands shattering into millions of glistening fragments. They faded into thin air. Your eyes hurried to meet Beomgyu’s, only to find him as shaken as you, with his hands void of any sharp object.

At that moment, the inexplicable occurrence bound you both in a shared bewilderment as you both realized something;

It wasn’t over yet.

Not like that.

You parted your lips to say something, but the words got stuck in your throat. What had just occurred? It was almost as if the story was stopping you from undergoing the painful death.

“Did…Did we do it the wrong way?” You wondered out loud, perplexed. “Is it because we didn’t drink poison like in the original script-” Beomgyu cut you off with a shake of his head, arms falling limply by his sides.

“No, I frankly don’t think that’s it. The premise was dying together and that’s what we tried,” The unreadable expression in his eyes told you that he too, was short of solutions and explanations. “But we can’t give up yet,” He declared softly, an ancient determination that you knew all too well flickered in his irises. “there has to be another way.” His stubborn nature reminded you of the past you shared, sending your heart into a frenzy. You recalled blaming him for years, for changing and leaving you behind, but as you stood before each other, you were met by a Beomgyu who continuously nurtured the nostalgia that had been swimming in your chest since the very moment he’d caught your hand in the dancing crowd.

Your gaze softened upon him.

Your heart echoed his sentiments, the flicker of hope igniting within you. "You're right," you replied, your voice steady despite the turmoil swirling inside. "We need to find a better ending, one where we both survive."

A better ending, one where you both would survive…

With a sudden gasp, you grasped his hands, catching him off guard. Beomgyu stumbled slightly, his eyes widening with surprise and curiosity at your sudden fervor.

"Of course!" you exclaimed with a new sense of excitement pulsing through your veins. "Why didn't I think of this before?" Your fingers tightened around his, the connection sparking a newfound determination within you. Disregarding his perplexity, you continued with a rush of energy taking the both of you by storm.

"Maybe the solution isn't to reenact the tragic ending," you presented, your voice gaining strength with each word. "Perhaps it's about forging a new path, creating a different outcome."

You allowed your words to linger shortly, seeking for his gaze, which still seemed hesitant. "Don’t you see, Beomgyu?" you persisted. "The story is telling us to rewrite Romeo and Juliet's fate, just like Mr. Kim's dumb assignment!" There was a hint of laughter in your tone, a flicker of amusement amidst the seriousness of the moment, as the realization slowly dawned on both of you. Beomgyu’s lips gradually fell apart at the revelation, every doubt suddenly falling back into place.

“Let’s split up for now, I’ll talk to Mercutio,” Beomgyu suggested to which you nodded fervently, already knowing what to do. “I’ll see you here at dawn.” You completed his sentence. And just like that, he was out of your field of view, the last image of him being his silhouette skillfully jumping over the balcony.

It was a silent agreement to find out more about the conflict between the two families, each to their own. Only then, could you find a true solution?

Sure, you knew that the Capulet and Montague families had an ancient feud that pulled the youths apart from each other. But…what exactly had happened?

Without wasting another second, you spun on the balls of your feet and hurried out of your room, for the first time in days, facing the hustle of the busy castle. “Mia,” You mumbled to yourself, “I need to find Mia…” The heels of your sandals clicked against the marble steps as you rushed your way through the endless corridors. Rounding a corner, you almost collided with a servant carrying a tray of food.

“I apologize, M’lady.” The servant quickly bowed their head low before scurrying away. You stood still for a moment, taken aback but quickly blinked away the slight shock and resumed your search. Your mind raced with thoughts of finding your best friend.

Weaving through the maze-like castle, you almost feared losing your way. You felt like you’d rounded the same corner at least ten times. But perhaps your determination did not deem itself unfruitful when you caught a glimpse of her bustling about in the servant’s quarters. Relief washed over you and you picked up your pace further, calling for her. “Mia- Nurse!”

The young lady whipped around with startle in her movements. Her eyes were wide with shock but upon seeing you, a familiar warmth shaped itself into her soft smile.

“Lady Juliet!” She exclaimed, “What brings you here?”

Coming to a halt in front of her, you breathlessly said; “I need to talk to you,” ignoring the confusion that swarmed her eyes at your unusual language, the rush in your veins was making you forget all about how Juliet was supposed to act. Nonetheless, the girl nodded understandingly and gave you her attention.

“Do speak your worries, m’lady. I am at your service.” You sighed with relief and took her hand, walking further inside her quarter, and closing the door behind you.

“Nurse…Why can’t I and Romeo be together?” You initiated, struggling to find the right words. The young woman watched you with perplexed eyes. “You know full well the reasons, m’lady.” Mia’s knowing gaze weighed upon you, you noted how her voice was soft and solemn as she spoke, as though not to hurt your fragile feelings.

You shook your head stubbornly. “No! I really do not!” As your voice raised ever so slightly, you noticed the slight panic contorting her features and you immediately calmed down.

“I just…I love him so much,” You felt breathless, as the words slipped past your lips, a strange rush of vulnerability crashed upon you. Mia’s eyes locked with yours but you found yourself relentlessly avoiding her gaze. The feelings falling from your lips were Juliet’s and hers alone. But then why did it feel like your heart had been laid bare for the whole world to see?

You gulped, “I understand the feud of our families, but I need to know what happened!” You urged, hoping that you would be able to find answers. “What could possibly have been the cause of such a lifelong resentment? Why do I have to pay the price of my love because of an ancient conflict that…” the words spilled past your quivering lips, it was almost like you had no control over what left your mouth. These overwhelming emotions were too big for your heart to bear. “That doesn’t involve me!?” You implored.

Mia’s gaze softened, shoulders sinking slightly as she gently took your cold hands into her warm ones. Her touch was so tangible that you almost forgot that all of this wasn’t anything other than a dream.

“Oh sweet Y/n, but it does involve you.” Your throat suddenly felt extremely, a shiver running down your spine. “W-what?” Your voice trembled when you met her unfazed eyes. Had she just called you by your name?

“The day that you have mourned for so long, it was you who left him,” Mia explained calmly, though the words became nothing but a swirling mess in your head. “What are you talking about?” You inquired, pulling your hands out of her grasp. Uneasiness settled within you at the direction that the conversation was taking.

“You and Beomgyu are now strangers because you turned your back on him, that day.” Her sentence pierced through your throbbing heart, a sense of injustice had you shaking your head furiously.

“How…How can you say that I left him when he was the one who denied knowing me in front of others?!” You cried out, throwing your hands in the air. “He was the one who ended our friendship at that very moment.”

You recalled the scene vividly. The pain of that day was ingrained so deeply within your memory, that sometimes the cuts it left still felt fresh. It had been just another exhausting day of classes but nonetheless, you had been eager to meet up with your best friend at your usual spot. But as you had rounded the corner your anticipation had quickly morphed into shock. With your breath caught in your throat, you witnessed Beomgyu surrounded by people unknown to you. Their expressions taunting and relentless as they held up a photograph in front of Beomgyu’s face. His patience was wearing thin and a scowl was etched permanently onto his face. Something about the scene unsettled you deeply but you had been rooted onto your spot, unable to move.

“Shut up,” Beomgyu had hissed, attempting to rip the photo from their grasp, only igniting laughter from the others when they easily pulled it higher up.

“Why so serious? Don’t you love her anyway? But her mommy hates you, how sad!” The taller male waved the photograph teasingly and laughed in his face.

“I don’t fucking love her!” His voice echoed bitterly in the lonely corridor. You still remembered the way his voice reverberated in your ears, each word a cruel stab to your heart. “We’re merely acquaintances so cut this crap and leave me alone.” Beomgyu’s voice was cold and merciless. You had felt a strong sense of betrayal wash over you, wondering why he was denying your friendship so vehemently. You were hurt and confused, the emotions ever so overwhelming and you struggled to comprehend what had happened.

You recalled his hands curled into tight fists, his chest heaving visibly up and down after he’d gotten them to leave. And then, the moment that would haunt you for years to come happened. He had turned to you, eyes filled with a raw emotion you couldn't decipher. Something had flickered in his gaze, perhaps regret, almost as if he’d woken up from a trance. But the wall that his words had put between you was insurmountable.

Although your name had come tumbling from his lips, begging you to let him explain, your back had already been turned, heart had already been broken into irreparable pieces.

You looked at Mia, your desperate eyes silently begging her to understand the turmoil inside of you. “I know it wasn’t easy being my friend, especially with my mother making it clear that she didn’t like him. I don’t know why she was so against him, but I never stopped defending him!” You paused to take a breath. “Not for one moment. I put him over my parents' rules and valued his friendship over my parents’ trust. I always sneaked out to see him although I was grounded for that very same reason…” Your words stumbled upon each other in your haste to defend yourself, “So how could you say that I was the one who left him?”

“Y/n,” Mia coaxed gently, eyes fluttering shut was a deep breath. “It mustn’t have been easy on your heart.” She affirmed, bowing her head slightly. “But believe my words, there is more to this tale than you are aware of.” She paused, letting you feel the gravity of her words although you struggled to make sense of it all.

“What do you mean?” Confusion clouded your thoughts, “What do I not know of? Did Beomgyu hide something from me?” Your mind spiraled, but your friend’s sudden grip on your shoulders brought your focus back on her. “Do not fret!” She scolded, her usually sweet eyes now stern as they pierced through yours. “This story goes beyond the two of thy…Your mother and Beomgyu’s father share a history.” Mia carefully unfolded the truth to you. Your arms fell limp to your sides, eyes wide open as the new information sank in.

“It is so. They used to court each other in their youthful days.” She confirmed your suspicions. “However, they belonged to different realities. Their love was forbidden much like the tale of Romeo and Juliet. Your mother had always been true to her traditions. Attempts to sort the disagreement between her and her family hadn’t given any fruits, they wouldn’t approve of a relationship with the young Mr. Choi.”

Your head was spinning.

Mia’s words painted a picture of a past you never knew, shedding light on the hidden truths that had shaped your relationship with Beomgyu since the very beginning. The two of you had only been children when you’d first met. Your cries resounded in the rain storm, a knee scraped open because of your clumsy feet. Beomgyu, one of the many by-passers had heard your wailing from far.

Not the sweet little bandaid he’d clumsily applied to your injury, not even the umbrella he’d handed you so that you would stop crying could have thawed your mother’s icy resolve. He had walked you home, only to be sent away coldly by your mother. Even so, your friendship continued flowering on the familiar grounds of your school. A part of you had always seen Beomgyu like the knight that helped the princess escape her tower of isolation. He was the sweet breeze under your shirt on a hot summer day. He was the sense of liberation and affection that shrouded you like a warm blanket when in his presence. You’d discovered parts of yourself whilst by his side, that would have forever remained uncovered if you’d listened to your parents' warnings.

“But-” Your voice faltered with disbelief, “Why would my mother put me through her same pain?” A part of you wanted to sympathize with your mother, but the longer you dwelled on it the more you felt yourself lose your mind. The endless fights, the uncountable times they’d punished you for refusing to cut ties with the friend that meant so much to you.

“You see,” Mia hummed, “That is where your mother’s resentment brews, although she points to Beomgyu’s bad influence on you, the truth is another. Beomgyu is a painful reminder of her past. His familiar face reminds her of the one man she truly loved and lost.” Her voice tinged with empathy, “She struggles to cope with her broken heart.” Every utterance was a tiny piece of the vast puzzle that was your life. Each little fragment finding its place but revealing only a frustratingly small detail. Mia's insight kept sinking in but you felt dizzy from the unstoppable rush of thoughts and questions. Your chest brimming with mixed emotions of anger, sadness, and empathy. Running a hand through your hair, you let out the heavy breath that you had been holding in this whole time.

Your mother’s unwavering disapproval, Beomgyu’s struggle to defend himself, and the rift that had formed between you and your childhood friend. Everything was still a mess in your head, but there was only one thing clear that you just couldn’t shake off.

Tears blurred your view as the strong sense of clarity washed over you, sending you over the edge.

Shaking eyes searching for Mia’s, nails digging into your palms. “What have I done?” You whispered brokenly, a hand coming to rest on your face as if to stop the intense swirling of your surroundings.

“I- he surely hates me for it, doesn’t he?” You told yourself, “There is no way I can restore our friendship.” no matter how much you tried to find a way, the damage you had done seemed unfathomable.

Mia’s eyes were solemn when she regarded you, her next phrase with a weight that you couldn’t quite comprehend. “I fear not,” She proved. An ancient sorrow tip toeing in her murmur. Although you had been the one to make the statement, having her confirm it left an unbearable pain tightening your chest.

“For the bonds of your hearts have transcended the mere boundaries of a friendship,” Mia whispered, your forehead creased into a frown.

"What do you mean?" you pleaded, searching her eyes for clarity, but the young woman merely shook her head. “You haven’t realized it yet, have you?”

“Realized what?”

“The words you spoke upon finding me, were no one’s but your own, dear, reflect on that.” Not Juliet’s, but yours. The additions lingered on Mia’s tongue, although she chose not to pronounce them. Your shaken expression weighted her heart.

“I don’t understand.” You let your head fall, the curtain of your hair covering the tears that were now blurring your view.

Your friend placed a tender caress on your cheek, crouching slightly so that you would meet her gaze. “Hey,” She soothed, “Do not despair, dear, there is still time.” her eyebrows raised encouragingly as her hold on your cheeks turned into a light pinch. your cheek, making you wince. “Now go forth, do not waste any more of thy precious time!” Mia exclaimed and stepped behind you, her hands on your back, guiding you onward with a gentle push, sending you off.

Stumbling forward, you couldn’t help but cast one last look back for guidance, only to have her fretting you away with not-so-subtle gestures.

The walk back to your chamber was like stepping into the unknown blindfolded. Your gaze was distant while allowing your feet to guide you back to familiar surroundings. Time was nothing but a blur, you wondered how much time you had spent in Mia’s quarter. The burning sun had bid its farewell to the sky a long time ago. Leaving you solely the moonlight to illuminate your solitary path through the now tranquil castle. The echoes from the daytime’s hustling activity were now replaced by a peaceful quietude. Even the servants had retired for the night.

A gentle timber called your name, and you feared your heart had stopped when you hastily looked up. Your pupils dilated at the view of Beomgyu’s figure walking towards you. A worried expression rested upon his features.

“What took you so long?” He spoke in hushed tones not to wake anyone up, “I was waiting for you but you never came. I thought something happened to you.”

His concern ignited a tender warmth within you, a flood of emotions brimming in your heart as it picked up its pace in your chest. Racing far ahead of you, drumming against your ribs begging to be set free from its hostage.

"I... I lost track of time," you managed to say through your trembling lips. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

His expression of worry melted away with the step he took, gently dismissing your apology with a shake of his head. "I'm just relieved you're okay," he confessed, watching you from underneath his lashes. The silver glow of the moon cast a delicate shade down his cheek, while you marveled at the shimmering specks of amber swirling in his eyes.

A moment of silence followed, unspoken words weighing down on your chest.

Beomgyu’s words lingered in the air like a whispered promise, perhaps one made a long time ago. A glimmer of two youths intertwining their pinkies in a silent vow, sealing the bond with a kiss of their thumbs flickered before your eyes. But just like a sweet dream slipping away at the crack of dawn- it vanished before you could fully grasp it.

With your gaze falling to the ground, you struggled to move your voice past your lips. There was so much you wanted to say.

“Beomgyu I…” You began hesitantly, forcing yourself to meet his gentle ocean eyes despite the dry lump forming in your throat. He kept quiet, silently letting you take your time to express yourself. The knowing look painted on his features told you that he’d understand no matter how much you struggled to explain yourself.

“I am so sorry-” Your voice wavered as a tear traced its way down your cheek. “It’s all my fault.” remorse, a sad melody that had etched itself into your words as tears continued spilling from your eyes, salty and melting into your lips as you continued.

“I don’t understand why– how I could have walked away like I did, without letting you explain yourself, that day.” Your voice a mere whisper, knuckles whitening under the pressure of your trembling fist. “I should have let you tell me the truth but I let my hurt and anger cloud me…” A trembling shiver left your mouth. “Why did I do that?”

“I threw away our friendship, I threw away the most important thing I had, I messed up so bad, I-” Before you could continue, Beomgyu’s hand had reached out. Soft fingertips caressing your skin, catching your precious tears.

“I’m sorry too,” he said softly, his fingers absentmindedly curling around a few strands of your hair. "I should have tried to reach out to you again after that. But I too, let my pride and stubbornness get in the way." his touch was gentle as he slowly guided the stray hairs in his hold behind your ear.

“Do you…” Your hesitation lingered in the air as the question you were afraid to ask danced on your tongue. The fear in your chest fogged your mind. Although this whole journey could have served as an answer, your heart couldn’t find its peace unless he pronounced the words himself.

“Do you hate me for what I did?”

Beomgyu found himself melting before you, fingers slowly coming to cradle your jaw. His eyes searched yours for a moment before speaking, but your gaze shied away from his. He couldn’t help but admire the way your tears were like small crystals twinkling upon your lashes.

"Hate you?" His voice brimmed with disbelief. "No, Y/n, never." he tilted your head ever so slightly so that you could meet his gaze, so that you wouldn’t need to doubt him again. He extended a thumb, brushing away another tear that threatened to fall. "Despite what I've told myself over and over again, for years,” A solemn smile curled his lips.

“I don’t think I ever convinced myself when I tried to believe I hated you.” Beomgyu took a small step closer, lacing one arm around your shoulders. It was like you forgot how to breathe when he guided you into his chest, tucking your head into the crook of his neck. Your hands rested upon his chest out of surprise, feeling his thumping heart against your palms and almost confusing his quick heartbeat with your own.

There was something different about the way his arms tightened around you, you sensed fear in his embrace, as if you were to disappear at any moment. As if he was afraid to wake up in the middle of this moment. The sensation of his long hair tickling your skin when he nuzzled his head into your shoulder, the familiar scent of his cologne, and the warmth of his body engulfing you. His regretful murmur when he uttered the sole words that you needed to heal your heart.

“No one could make me hate you.”

You wished for nothing else than for this to be real.

A sob escaped your lips and you threw your arms around his neck. Beomgyu’s gentle fingertips traced a sweet path down your back, hands finding your waist. Eyes fluttering close and all you could think about was how it felt like his arms were made to embrace you.

You had finally placed the last puzzle piece into its spot, you had found the missing pages of your book.

You had fallen back into place.

“I missed you so much,” you whispered, ignoring the way your words muffled against his chest. Despite feeling as close as ever, Beomgyu’s embrace tightened even more, “I missed you too,” his eyes fell shut to the comfort of your hold.

Nuzzling your face deeper into his chest, the cold air of the castle slowly dissipated, replaced by a warmth that felt oddly familiar against your eyelids– a sensation akin to the gentle embrace of sunlight. Inhaling deeply, you noted the woody and papery scent that danced its way into your senses, wrinkling your nose in response.

You jerked away from Beomgyu with a sharp gasp, startling both him and yourself. The moonlight that had been adorning his soft features was long gone. Hence the beautiful corridor you’d been standing in was by now only a mirage of your dream as you noticed the book-filled shelves surrounding you in the remote corner of the library, illuminated by the soft glow of late sunlight filtering through dusty windows.

Beomgyu’s expression brimmed with confusion as his eyes darted around, searching for you after realizing that you were back in the university’s library. Shocked, the boy felt his arms go limp, and a loud noise reverberated against the ground. Your attention immediately bolted to the book that had slipped out of Beomgyu’s grasp, landing open on the pavement. The illustration of two ancient lovers dancing in the crowd glittered in the sun.

You wasted no time picking the book up, the adrenaline rush had your fingers trembling as you flipped over a few pages, mouth falling agape at the sight of the star-crossed lovers. Their once blank faces were now vivid with your very own features adorning them.

“Oh my God-” You breathed incredulously, flipping page after page. Beomgyu could only stand there, watching you as he tried to reason with what he had just experienced. His trance was short-lived, interrupted by you suddenly slamming the book shut. The beetroot color that had crept upon your cheeks piqued his interest.

“What did you see?” Beomgyu inquired with his brow raised inquisitively. But your response came too quickly for his liking.

“NOTHING!” You pressed a bit too defensively, earning a few distant hushes from other visitors. His suspicions were raised upon your secretive behavior “Let me see-” he tried to grab the book but you swung your arm out of his reach. He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, a displeased pout sporting his lips. You were to be damned for letting your guard down at that moment because the next thing you knew Beomgyu had snatched the book from you. You yelped helplessly and tried to get it back but the long-haired boy was far taller than you.

The sensation of cold sweat coated your body at the thought of Beomgyu finding the pages revealing a portrayal of you and he locked in a tender kiss. A new-found heat rose to your cheeks as your heart went berserk. But the view of him delicately opening the ancient novel to inspect what had made you react in such a way awoke a sense of panic that had you blurting out a sentence you had no idea how to stand for.

“No need to search, I can just show you myself.” The casual tone in your voice baffled you to no end, because your heart was in your throat, threatening to jump out.

Thankfully, the boy looked away from the book, not yet having found the pages you had been trying to conceal. You could spot the astonishment in his expression caused by the illustrations in the book, and you didn’t blame him, why were your faces painted on those of the lovers’?

Despite all, his eyes still showed you his interest. “And what exactly are you going to show me?” he raised a brow. Beomgyu’s casual cockiness only fueled a sudden boldness within you. "Let me see," his persistence rang in your ears and before you even knew what you were doing, you had grabbed the collar of his shirt. Pulling him close with a determination you hadn't known you possessed– shutting your eyes tightly, you crashed your lips on top of his. The boy stumbled forward, eyes wide at your sudden action, though his lips had acted on their own as they had responded to yours right away. His soft pillows eagerly nipped on yours for a mere moment before you parted from him, releasing his now wrinkled shirt from your hold.

“That’s what I saw in the book.” You averted your gaze down to your feet, pressing your lips into a thin line.

A shy pink dusted his cheeks, gaze fastened on you, he could not bring himself to look away. His chest rose with the ragged breaths puffing out of his swollen lips.

“You kiss by the book,” he gasped incredulously, a cheerful laugh bubbling in his throat. Your head whipped in his direction, tummy fluttering at the familiar words he’d used. You watched him throw his head back in delight as his body shook with laughter, finding yourself getting completely absorbed into the joy that sprouted from him, you couldn’t stop the chuckles that escaped your lips.

You couldn't help but admire his smile, the way it lit up his entire face, the way his pretty eyes crinkled into twinkling half-moons. It had been so long since you had seen that smile directed towards you, and it made you feel complete.

You had no idea what kind of magic had danced on Mr. Kim’s fingertips when he slid that assignment paper on your desk, with yours and Beomgyu’s names written next to each other in red ink. But it was almost like he’d taken the red threads of your fates and tied them back together after that the two of you had let it come undone.

Now Beomgyu knew, you knew– that dreams were like magic. They appeared, tickled, and sparked a twinkle in your hearts, only to disappear just as quickly as it had appeared.

You had lost each other for so long, but you had finally found each other again under the same dream, under the same stars that had brought the two youths together through a love that transcended every boundary.

Perhaps your fates had been written by the very same hands.

Perhaps you were them.

You took his hand in yours, feeling its warmth like the sunset glow, painting you in its vivid colors.

"I dreamt a dream today," Beomgyu murmured as he threaded his fingers through yours.

"And so did I." You met his gaze knowingly.

“Well, what was yours?” A sweet smile started to curl his lips.

“That dreamers speak their heart’s truth.”

a/n: ooh my god I finally did it! here it is and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as possible!! I had so much fun writing this and I hope it was just as fun reading! this is probably one of my most dramatic pieces and I had to stop myself while writing and question where all the drama was coming from but duh!! It's literally Romeo and Juliet hello??.

anyway!! I would appreciate your thoughts on it a lot <33 I'm really curious to know how this idea I've had brewing in my head for years came out and is perceived by all of you! do not be shy and pls share your thoughts with me <333

Important disclaimer!

I do not own the story or characters of Romeo and Juliet, full credit to Shakespeare who invented them.

I also used some of the dialogue from the actual script in modern English which I will be linking in this text!

so! if you made it all the way down here, I just want to thank you for sticking with me and for taking the time to read this piece! It means a lot to me. You're amazing<33

much love, p.

taglist: @wave2tyun @binluvsu @shutupheathersorryheatherr @20crowsinahoodie @woncheecks @ur-mother-realnotclickbait @20-cms @endeav0rsb1tch @todosmash @scatterbraincutie @zzhyuu @sweetstraberrybear @deabird @iluvkyo @lunathewritingcat @vivienne2000 @sunny4cast @lun4kazumii @be0mgyusbestie @yjdni @roseyposeylemonsquozey @beomgyuspeach @glossykai

#Beomgyu #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu oneshot #tomorrow x together #beomgyu imagines #txt x reader #txt oneshots #txt imagines #yeonjun #soobin #hueningkai #taehyun #romeo & juliet

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sirenpearldust · 27 days

Text

Pearl

Pair: Eris x reader; Lucien x reader (platonic)

Word count: 1.191

Warnings: Lucien is only mentioned, unrequited love, fluff, angst, arranged marriage, mentions of pregnancy and virginity

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Once you two were the closest of friends and now you were his wife.

The marriage wasn't terrible, he was a good husband, but your heart belonged to Lucien.

You had been terribly in love with him for as long as you could remember, your heart would often feel like it was about to burst out of your chest. The similarities between Eris and Lucien didn't make it any easier.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" you asked softly, struggling to zip your dress.

Eris approached, offering his assistance, his upper body bare and sweaty.

Multiple freckles adorned his exercise-hardened body, stretching across his skin.

He looked too good; you shouldn’t be drawn to him. Your heart belongs to his brother. You cursed yourself for thinking about Lucien while drooling over Eris.

Yet, those shoulders, those full lips, and seeing him sometimes in uniform made you feel delirious.

He appeared composed, unlike you, showing no signs of breathlessness after everything you did.

He smirked as if he knew what you'd been thinking.

"What?" you asked.

Eris smiled warmly, remarking, "Considering you're eyeing me, like my brothers do with Mother's strawberry cake, I think I look good."

You laughed.

"You look horrible," you blurted out. "Your ego shouldn't become bigger."

Eris only chuckled finally securing the zipper.

You turned around, looking up at him. His russet eyes were filled with love and a dazzling smile stretched across his face. He seemed happy you noted.

"Stop smiling," you demanded.

"I'm not responsible for what my face does when you talk," Eris replied with a grin.

His hands sought your waist, drawing you close, chest to chest.

"I think we've had enough for today," you interjected, placing your hands between you two, creating a small distance. He merely laughed, nuzzling his head into your neck, inhaling your scent.

"We are now husband and wife, don't be shy now, there is nothing wrong with me hugging you. Hugging my wife," he said. You playfully hit him.

"I've picked some names. I just hope you like them," he said, his voice slightly muffled.

He kept running his nose along your neck, making you shiver and softly laugh.

Running your hands through his soft hair, you felt him shudder in response, a quiet sigh escaping his lips.

He fought the urge to confess.

I am in love with you. I've been in love with you since forever.

Pulling his face from your neck, he gazed into your eyes. His right hand slowly rose to tenderly caress your cheek before he kissed your forehead.

Guilt consumed you, weighing heavily on your conscience for entertaining thoughts of his brother while fully aware of Eris's feelings for you.

He wasn't subtle in his behavior around you, he looked out for you, even as you were foolishly in love with Lucien, who already had a mate and had been courting her.

Perhaps Eris was meant to be your mate, perhaps the bond would snap while being with him. Either way, you couldn't abandon him, you owed him your loyalty, as he deserved it.

"You're cute," he chuckled, watching your face scrunch up in an adorable manner.

"What?" you asked, puzzled.

"I said you look stupid," he snickered mischievously.

"Eris! How dare you!" you exclaimed, mouth agape at his audacity.

He laughed out loud as you attempted to wriggle out of his hug.

While watching you, doubts slowly began to surface. Although you were now officially his wife, he knew you were still in love with Lucien.

He desired to win you over, a goal he'd set since your first meeting.

He remembered it, clear as day.

He was mean to you and despite being the high lord's son, you had fearlessly insulted him, causing Lucien to burst into laughter and your own parents to scold you.

Now years later, you were attempting to conceive a child because Beron desired it.

He believed that your power would be a valuable addition to the blood line, so the marriage was arranged.

You bid farewell to your friends and family, knowing that you couldn't see them as often as before. You had taken on new responsibilities .

Raised in a wealthy and affluent family, you were perceived as family-oriented, educated, and poised in Beron’s eyes, despite the fact that your siblings might beg to differ.

In his eyes, you were a precious pearl, untainted and pure.

The sight of your bloodied sheets on the wedding night confirmed to him that you were a virgin, worthy of his son and as the princess of his court.

To you it was a dumb tradition that needed to disappear, a rule discriminating against females. It held power over them while men faced no such restrictions.

Despite being over 300 years old, you had never been intimate with anyone. Eris was surprised, he had expected the opposite.

Nevertheless, he was deeply in love with you, unable to imagine life without you - he would have taken you regardless. Still the mere thought of someone else being with you filled him with raging jealousy.

You upheld that tradition yourself, not only due to your families pressure but also out of a lack of interest in giving yourself to someone, only to potentially regret it later; at least with a husband, you reasoned, he would be bound to you.

It didn't mean that you were inexperienced or unaware of what needed to be done and how to do it, you weren't naive.

Marrying Eris and having a child with him would secure your family's high status, even though your father strongly opposed the union. Your father had different plans, and a marriage to the heir of the court wasn't part of them.

You and Eris each reassured your father and mother that you would be protected.

He himself promised you, to save you from the same fate as his mothers.

Your wedding was a grand affair, with a significant amount of money spent and all your loved ones in attendance, except for Lucien.

He couldn't risk his life by attending but sent a heartfelt letter wishing you happiness and asking you to inform him if Eris ever wronged you.

As wedding presents he sent you a beautiful blue dress, reminiscent of the night sky, a solar system from the Dawn Court, along with books from the Day Court.

The sweetness of his gestures moved you to tears, deepening your love for him and making you feel ugly as you were now married to Eris.

Eris, always protective of you, became even more obsessed and vigilant after the wedding. He was somewhat relieved that Lucien couldn't attend, despite missing his brother dearly. Eris feared that your love for Lucien might grow stronger, causing you to lose any affection for him.

But that’s not the only thing he had been worrying about.

Unbeknownst to you, he secretly has been using a forbidden tonic to reduce his fertility.

You having a child would jeopardize his plans, it would put you in harms way if anything were to go wrong.

And he wanted to win your heart over before burdening you with a child.

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Notes: I hate University 😭

Also sorry for the mistakes was to tired might correct them someday🫠

Main Taglist: @bubybubsters

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #eris fluff #eris angst #lucien vanserra #eris vanserra x reader #eris x reader #eris x y/n #lucien x reader #acotar x reader #acotar fluff #unrequited love #arranged marriage #lucien vandaddy #eris vandaddy

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hellcat8908 · 2 months

Text

Love Lost 2 Azriel x Reader

Warnings: mentions of miscarriage, hurt, angst, violence

Make sure to read Love Lost first

You patiently wait for Eris in the foyer for him to finish his meeting. You admired stag tapestry that was hung on the wall. The beautiful colors of autumn on full display as the stag stood stoic in a still forest. Your attention was drawn away from the tapestry as Eris walked in to greet you. "I'm sorry for not giving advanced notice of my arrival." You apologize. "Don't worry about it, you know you're always welcome here. Sorry I wasn't able to greet you sooner." He says.

This was the Eris few people got to see. He had always been gentle and kind to you since you were kids. "Come on, I'll show you to your room so you can get settled." He offered his arm while he picked up your bag. You noticed the subtle changes made since Eris took over as high lord. He opened a door and escorted you inside, "This will be your room, as long as it's to your liking." He says, gauging your reaction. "Eris, it's perfect. Thank you!" You say as you explore the space.

"You have your own private bathroom through that door. And over there is a walk-in closet." He says as he gestures. "Thank you for everything." You say softly. "Anything for you, I just wish it was under better circumstances." He says before giving you a hug. You fall apart in his arms, the touch being too much to bear after being touched. He continues to hold you, "It's ok, I've got you. That's it. Let it all out." He comforts you.

Eventually, you cry yourself to sleep. Eris gently lays you in bed and tucks you in. He quietly leaves the room. He makes his way back to his office to finish up his work while you sleep. He contemplates reaching out to Rhys to see if he knows you left. He decides against it and leaves the decision to you to tell them of your whereabouts. After finishes various reports, he comes back to check on you.

Meanwhile, the wind grew colder against Azriel's wings as he neared Illyria. His first camp was coming up. He landed heavily in the center of camp, glaring at anyone who looked at him. He met with the one in charge, Garrick, and informed him of the changes Rhys wanted to make. After the two got done arguing, Azriel stepped out to watch some of them training. He watched silently and made a mental note to discuss with Cassian. After a pair had cleared out, Azriel entered the ring, "Anyone want to see how they really measure up?!" He shouts to the crowd.

One of the bigger warriors steps forward to accept the bait. They quickly start circling each other. The illyrian grows impatient and rushes Azriel. Azriel drops his shoulder and tosses the warrior over him and into the dirt. A couple of warriors watching laughed before the warrior got up and struck Azriel in the side. His eyes grew wide as Azriel snapped. He quickly takes the fool to the ground and beats him to a pulp. Finally, the soldier counters after his face is bloodied. He lands a few more strikes on Azriel before being dropped again.

Before the fight can last any longer, Azriel feels two sets of hands on him, pulling him back. "Enough!" Rhys says with authority before releasing him for Cassian to escort away. Rhys turns his attention to the camp and orders them to go back to their duties. Once the attention is off of him and his brothers, he moves to catch up. "You're done! Until further notice, you're relieved of your duties." Rhys tells Azriel. "Fuck you!" Azriel shouts before jerking out of Cassian's grip. "You need to focus on you and fix thing's with y/n." Rhys says calmly. "Don't tell me what I need to do! You're not the one dealing with this! You have no clue what this is like!" Azriel yells at his brother.

"Then tell me, talk to us. Talk to y/n! No one knows what you're going through like her because she's going through it too." Rhys says. "Stop, Rhys. I'm dealing with it the only way I know how to." Azriel says. In an instant, Rhys winnows all three of them to the house of wind. "You're going to stay here until you get your shit together." Rhys says. "If you're going to relieve me of my duties, at least let me stay in my own home!" Azriel demands. "No! The last thing y/n needs right now is you being an ass because you're pissed off at me! You can go home once you've proven you are more level-headed." Rhys says, leaving Cassian and Azriel alone.

"Come on, let's go." Cassian says. Walking towards the training area. "I'm not in the mood to train." Azriel says. "Good, we're not training. We're fighting. You need to let out some of that anger, and I can take it." Cassian says. Azriel follows him and readies himself. After a few moments, the two collide in a fury of punches and jabs. Cassian allows Azriel to land some strikes, wanting to help him purge his anger and emotions. "Come on, Az. You can do better than that, or maybe you can't anymore!" Cassian taunts, "is that really all you've got?!" Azriel hits harder and strikes faster.

His anger reached new heights. "Maybe y/n is better off without you. I mean, if you're just going to abandon her when she needs you most." Cassian continues to poke at Azriel. "Fuck you! You don't know anything about our situation!" Azriel shouts as his breath hitches. "Then tell me, tell me how it is. From where I'm standing things got hard and you checked out!" Cassian yells, shoving his brother.

"It's all my fault! I'm the selfish bastard! I'm the reason she suffered watching me with Elain for as long as she did! I'm the one that breaks her heart every time I walk out the door! And worst of all, I'm the reason we lost the baby!" He says, dropping to his knees. "What do you mean you're the reason you two lost the baby?" Cassian asks as he stands next to Azriel.

Next Part: 3

#acotar #batboys #sarah j maas #acotar fanfic #azriel #azriel x reader #acotar angst #eris acotar #eris vanserra #azriel shadowsinger

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ruiniel · 2 months

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What You Choose

Fandom: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Pairing: Rengoku Kyojuro x f!reader

Count: 2K

Rating: T (M later)

On AO3

Summary: I recently watched/read KNY and have emotions. Likely done before, but wanted to get this out of my system so wrote it down. Rengoku survives the fight with Akaza, but some battles are not so straightforward.

Tags & Warnings: Rengoku lives AU, multichapter, blood, injury, pining, angst, second person POV, demon slayer!reader, tsuguko!reader, alternating POV, Oblivious Rengoku Kyojuro, for a while at least, Death, Mild Gore, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut

All characters depicted are 18+

Everything fades. His body is going numb, his vision blurs as he stares down at his reflection in the dark pool of his own blood, unable to lift his head. The cries of grief surrounding him become dim and scatter like dying leaves from his consciousness.

I've done my duty, I've given my all.

The last he remembers is a small, clawed hand and a sudden, blooming flame bursting through his shattered torso, scalding him from within in ways his own fire never could.

I see... So this is what it feels like… to burn.

The balmy weather outside has no effect on you, seated at the side of the infirmary bed, your head in your hands.

“Perhaps you should go and rest. There’s been no change, and we’ll be sure to inform you of any developments.”

Aoi’s words are void of their usual sternness. You’ve heard them before, and yet—

“I’m fine, I really am.” You gaze back at the prone figure lying motionless beneath crisp white sheets. His gold and crimson hair is messy, and you’ve never seen him so pale, his features so sunken. The bandage covering his left eye is stained red in places, the usually smiling lips dry and bloodless.

Aoi sighs but says nothing else, and soon her departing steps echo against the walls.

I can’t. I can’t leave his side. You wish your thought could reach him, down to whatever place he’s struggling in now. You ball your hands into fists over your knees, a poor attempt at holding your composure. Please, come back. Please.

Weeks have passed since the mission on the train, since your group has returned with wounded bodies and spirits, though none in such a critical state as your mentor. Rengoku Kyojuro has not awakened since, and in contrast, since the nightmares the demon has placed upon you in that baleful encounter, you’ve not been able to sleep more than two to three hours every night. Every time, waking up in a sweat, the memory of what happened always the last image you remember.

“How is he today?”

You’re drawn from your thought by the gentle voice of the person you feel like you owe a life of debt to, and turn to gaze into the tired, worried eyes of Tanjiro Kamado. He stands by the bed now, glancing down at the Hashira. The slow rise and fall of his chest is the only sign that he is still alive.

You shake your head as Tanjiro takes a seat. “How is rehabilitation training going?”

Tanjiro smiles, still staring at the bed and its unresponsive occupant. “Almost done, I feel my strength returning to what it used to be and more. I admire how well you’ve upheld yourself, though,” he murmurs.

It’s true, for some reason, you’ve been the least scathed of them all, needing much less medical care than the rest. No, you know the reason why. “It’s because of him,” your words escape you. “If… if he hadn’t trained me as he did, if he hadn’t driven me so far beyond my limits, I don’t know if I would have survived for as long as I have in my role.”

“Oh, yes, I’ve heard. They say Lord Rengoku’s methods are… harsh to say the least.”

A smile tugs at your lips as a known pain pricks your heart. “But… but I’ve been remiss in thanking you, young Kamado—or rather, your sister. If she hadn’t…” Your throat tightens; you don’t want to break down, not here, not before Tanjiro and not before him, no matter he can’t hear it.

“Please, please don’t worry, it was a stroke of luck and quick thinking on her part, I only brought the box closer—”

“... she healed him! I saw the flames engulfing him, I saw the wound close. I don’t know how she did it but… Nezuko is someone... very special.”

Tanjiro lowers his head in humble acknowledgement. “I will tell her.” Then, as though remembering something, he reaches into his pocket and hands you a small bag. “Here, I’ve not seen you join meals very often and… well, please take them.”

You don’t have the strength to refuse, and take the bag from his hand, meeting his kind smile. “Candies…” You thank him before placing them on the bedstand, and after a few more moments of sitting in comfortable silence, Tanjiro takes his leave. You watch him depart, endeared by his manner and honesty. He has a good soul, a strong will—perhaps the strongest you’ve known, apart from…

You stare back at your mentor, memories of the past flooding behind your eyes.

Five months prior

“Good! Again!”

You’re panting, your total concentration breathing nearly failing as you evade another deadly arc of the Third Form: Blazing Universe.

The sun has westered and a bluish twilight sets over the lands, but your mentor still has you parrying his unwavering techniques, before making you attack using combinations of them in turn.

“Lord—lord Rengoku—”

His blazing speed cuts your words short as your blades clash, and you stare into bright, golden-rimmed irises. He’s smiling, as usual, with a devilish spark in his eyes. There is a sudden flutter in your stomach, overriding the fatigue in your burning muscles. “Come now, don’t tell me you’re beat! You’ve come so far after only three years!” he says as you fall back, lunging for another attack the following second.

The sudden weakness you feel when you’re close to him has you confused, because it was not there before. It all began in the past year: whenever he stares at you in a certain way, whenever he touches you during training or meets your eyes, something gnaws achingly at your chest. It’s as though you need something from him, but have no idea what it is.

“I knew it from the moment I took you on as a successor,” he says, merciless in his offensive. “If you—” Parry. Lunge. “—carry on like this—” Attack. Jump. “—you’ll reach a Hashira level of skill in no time at all!”

You don’t have the chance to reply, though his words feel like honey coating your senses. At first, he’d been sparse and strict, keeping to instructions and nothing else. But you struggled, worked harder than you had for anything in all your life, and it seems he acknowledges this fully now.

“Now—Ninth Form: Rengoku!”

That means you must attack, and he must deflect. But—Ninth Form?! “I—I can’t, I’m… I’m too exhausted for the Ninth!”

He bursts forward with Unknowing Fire, forcing you to duck and curl your body, rolling away into the dust, rising on one knee.

The Flame Hashira turns, pointing his weapon at you. “Is that what you plan on telling the demons?”

“Well, no, but—”

“At no point during a battle will you have the luxury of biding your time. If this were an actual encounter, you’d be dead.” He no longer smiles, his face turned cold, eyes glinting like molten steel.

You feel the rush of shame like fangs biting into you, fueling a horrible need to prove him wrong, to rise up to the challenge in his voice. With a hiss and a groan you grip the handle of your katana tightly, breathing and striving to light that spark in your heart.

With a cry you speed forward, clashing with him in a desperate lunge.

“Ha!” The smile returns as you grit your teeth. “Better!”

His face is so close to yours again, so close you feel the rush of his breath on your cheek.

Your knees feel weak again, and you close your eyes, pushing forward in an attempt to skew his balance.

What the hell is happening to you?

“Faster, the fire is still weak! It must rage!” the Hashira says, grinning like a madman now, and where once you enjoyed the path of learning and reaching your full potential, now his attitude brings forth an ache that confuses you and leaves you anxious.

Even so. Your blades sing against each other as you lunge back in a high jump, landing in a lowered stance with one palm braced against the earth. Your uniform is wet on your back, and you’re closer to your breaking point than you've ever been.

But the thought of disappointing him, now that feels unbearable. So you do what you always do: you push yourself more, more, harnessing all your strength into one melting core, bathing your heart in it and firing up your veins.

You attack.

He laughs outright. “Not bad, but—” Your swords clash, fiercer than before. “I know you can do better, and you can be faster.”

“I’m doing all I can!” you yell, at the end of your tether now. It’s not the first time, nor will it be the last. But he takes no offense, he never does, and that's one of the things you appreciate about him. “But you—you make it impossible! You always want more, even if you know I’m not ready for it!”

It must be the fire rushing through you that has you speaking this way, daring to say such words despite knowing full well what you were in for, when you accepted to become his successor.

“Wait until you’re ready, and you will never improve!” the Flame Hashira throws back.

A growl leaves your throat as you fall back then speed towards him again, trying the Second then the Third form in succession sloppily but you’re past caring.

Your arms feel as though they will tear and your bones might splinter as you crash against his unwavering stance, and you meet his scarlet-gold gaze as he speaks softly, his voice imbued with warmth: “You can surpass the impossible. I believe in you.”

Your eyes widen, that damned ache ringing through your body like a weakening poison and—

For one split second, your stance weakens, and you’re thrown back, losing your balance and falling heavily onto the ground.

Rengoku stares down at you, tilting his head to the side with a strange look on his face as he sheathes his katana.

Your vision sways, your lungs might burst. You barely clutch at the helping hand extended to you, aiding you to your feet. He grasps your shoulders. “What happened there just now? Your focus melted like wax.”

“I…” You can’t look him in the eye. His hands on you diffuse heat, permeating through your clothing. It feels good. It scares you. “I don’t… know.”

“Tomorrow, again,” he says, releasing you. “Please do better. Remember we’re doing this for you, but foremost for the people.”

“Understood,” you murmur, biting back tears as you watch him walk away.

Midnight has arrived when you end your reverie, thinking about that emotion that took root in your body and spirit, growing stronger as time passed. And you never dared tell him, never dared facing it nor can you explain why. You take a deep breath, leaned with your arms folded on the edge of the bed, your forehead resting on them. You never told him, and now…

And now with each day I’m losing hope.

Your shoulders are shaking, and your eyes sting. There is no one else here but you and him, the long chamber of empty beds the only witness to your breakdown.

You’re so absorbed by despair, you don’t perceive the faint movement, or the hand gently placed on your head.

“... Why are you crying?”

You choke on a silent sob, blinking in shock at the low, throaty voice, broken with disuse. Slowly, you raise your head.

He's staring at you, a bleak smile on his lips, and you're utterly, incomprehensibly frozen.

“You… you’re awake?” It feels like the dumbest of questions: your body knows the truth before your mind catches up.

“That… depends. Are you really here?” he asks in turn.

You nod, biting on your lower lip and wiping your eyes with your sleeve. “Yes, yes I am.”

The smile wavers for a moment as he grimaces in pain. “Oh, I see. Then… it seems… you’re not rid of me yet.”

All the gods in all the world couldn’t keep the emotions flooding you at bay, and you shake your head as warm tears flow down your face.

PART II

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer x reader #rengoku kyojuro #kny #rengoku x reader #kny fanfic #x reader #ruiniel:fanfiction

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b00kdiary · 2 months

Text

Yours | Rhysand

Rhysand X Plus size reader

Y/N meets Rhys in a bar- one month after the worst night of her life. One month after he saved her. But Rhys has no interest in being a hero, and Y/N doesn't want to be a victim. They only want each other.

Warning: Mature themes (18+), swearing, allusions to SA/ r*pe, fluff, angst and smut.

MASTERLIST - 1 and 2

"For Cauldron's sake, Rhys," Cassian laughed, a husky, low sound. It interrupted my hazed thought, dragging me back to this room, with its incandescent lights and booming music. "You've been staring at her like a creep for hours, why don't you just go talk to her?"

I clear my throat, forcing boredom into my face as I roll back the sleeves of my navy shirt. My eyes move to stare at my brothers before me, both of them smirking, a knowing gleam in their dark eyes.

"No idea what you mean, Cass," I drawl, leaning back against the leather seat, my long legs spreading out before me. I curl my fingers around the cold glass on the table, a nonchalant smile tilting my lips as I bring the cup to my mouth and sip.

"No? So, you haven't been staring at the female sitting at the bar all night?" Azriel mused, his brow raised mockingly and the shadows around his shoulders dance with every word, as if amused. "The pretty one with all those lovely curves and the smile that could melt ice?"

My hand clenches around the glass at his words, just for a second, barely even long enough for anyone to notice- but Azriel does, he always does. I shake my head as his eyes twinkle, knowing he was goading me, talking about her to force a reaction from me and like an idiot, I fell for it.

"There are plenty of pretty females here tonight, Az," I counter, lying through my teeth with an easy smile. It takes every ounce of control in me, five hundred years' worth of control, to not look in her direction, to not be drawn back to her lovely form. "Why don't the two of you go bother them and leave me alone?"

Cassian snorts and my eyes narrow at him as he runs a hand over his stubbly jaw, his hazel eyes darkening as he glances at her- sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of wine in one hand while the other moved animatedly as she talked and laughed with her friend.

I felt a smile tug at my lips at the sight, at the bright grin and glowing eyes, that could indeed melt ice.

I can't help but look over her again, taking in her bouncing hair and plump, soft face. I ran my eyes down her body, over the dress that clung and moulded perfectly to every curve and dip and roll of flesh she had been blessed with.

"You're right Rhysand, we should go speak to one of the lovely females here tonight," Cassian nodded and as he began to rise from his seat, his eyes unwavering upon her, Azriel chuckled.

Under any other circumstance, I would have been laughing too, would have been utterly amused by Cassian's teasing, by the banter we always found ourselves in, even five hundred years later. But as he watched her, as that familiar desire lit in his gaze, something in me burned.

"Since you're not going to make a move on her brother, you won't mind if I-"

"Sit down," I breathe, low and sinister, and more than a few eyes turn to me at the vibration of dark power that begins to emanate from me as I glare up at Cassian. He smiles, victorious, and even despite the violence promised in my gaze, he doesn't relent. "Now, Cassian."

I could feel the Fae instinct in me scorching to life, that terrible, violent urge to hurt Cassian- he was my brother, my family, and yet the mere thought of him even looking at her, thinking about her in any way, made me want to tear his throat out.

"Now that we've established, you're a territorial prick and you are interested in her," Cassian beamed, unfazed by the intense and unfathomable power radiating off me, merely sitting back down and cocking his head at me. "Why don't you go talk to her? I've never known you to be shy, Rhys."

"I'm not shy," I bare my teeth at him, tendrils of jealousy and aggression still clawing at my chest. Cass and Az share an amused glance and I grit my teeth, choosing to chug back the remaining alcohol in my glass, before slamming it back onto the table. "I just don't want to make her uncomfortable, she might not want to see me."

"Why would she-" Azriel stops, and as usual, unsurprisingly, he connects the dots faster than anyone else would. Cassian furrows his brow at the contemplative look Azriel gives me. "The female you walked home last month- that's her?"

"The one with the boyfriend Rhys nearly killed?" Cassian scoffed, clearly remembering how furious I had been that night, how it had taken so much restraint and the both of them on guard to stop me from flying out to rip that bastard's head off. "Cauldron, I haven't seen you lose control like that in years."

"He was lucky- if the two of you hadn't stopped me and she hadn't begged me to leave it alone-" I grit my teeth, trying to extinguish the raw, scorching wrath still burning in my chest. My dark eyes turn to look at her, and as I take in her breathtaking smile, my chest tightens with the memory of that night.

The sound of her broken sobs, the way those bright eyes had shattered, filling with endless tears, how she had curled into herself, wilting like a dying flower- all because of him.

"Easy, Rhys, he isn't even here," Cassian cautions and I swallow thickly at the familiar feeling of the beast inside me rearing its head, the kind of violence and danger in me that only arose during the biggest threats, during the worst battles and now, in defence of her. "I've never seen you like this before."

"I know," I sigh, my eyes shut as I pinch the bridge of my nose, the tension in my body almost suffocating as I'm bombarded with the thoughts of that night, with the thoughts of her. "Fuck, I know."

"Go talk to her, Rhys, for your own sake at the very least," Azriel muses softly, and I can hear the unspoken words in his hazel eyes, the kind that told me to be happy, to stop putting everyone first and think of myself. "You never know what could happen, brother."

I inhale deeply, the strength of my brother's stares weighing heavy on me and yet again, my violet gaze drifts over to her and this time I don't ignore the magnetic force that pulls me in.

***

"Another drink, Y/N?" Lin smiles, her slim waist curving as she turns her long legs towards the bar, a sparkle in her eyes as she glances from the bartender back to me. "I know I need another one."

"You don't need to ply me with alcohol, Lin," I muse, cocking my head at her and she shrugs nonchalantly at my knowing smile, an innocent pout gracing her red lips. "I'm having fun, I promise."

"Are you though? It's been a long month and I just-" Lin sighs, her manicured nails coming forward and curling around my hand, settling our hold against one of my plush thighs. I smile at the worry creasing her brow, dimming the radiance in her eyes as she stares at me, "I just want you to be happy, Y/N."

"I am happy, Lin," I scoff, ignoring the ache in my chest, duller than it had been a week ago and yet still an ever-suffocating presence that loomed over me like a dark cloud. "But you know what you could do to make me even happier?"

"Tell me," She leans forward, her lovely face melting into an even lovelier smile, and her hand tightens around mine, an anchor that I'm glad for. "I'll do anything."

"Well, you can go and talk to that ridiculously tall and attractive male who's been ogling you for the last two hours," I drawl sarcastically, taking a pointed sip of my drink as she glances over her shoulder, her blonde hair bouncing as she locks eyes with him. "Don't think I didn't notice the two of you eye fucking from across the room."

She giggles, a purely feminine sound and I smirk at the way the male watches her, his blue eyes darkening into storm clouds, raking down her toned and slender figure like he could see through her clothes and Lin grinned like she knew it.

"But this is meant to be a girl's day, me and you and endless drinking until we're vomiting and regretting it desperately tomorrow," Lin groans and my shoulders sag at the conflict in her eyes- the pity. She didn't want to abandon me, and I hated it.

"I think I've had my fair share of drinks tonight; I'll probably head home soon-" I gnaw on my lip, already seeing the protest in her eyes, but when I raise a brow, glancing at that male again, she sighs, "Go, have wild sex with a hot stranger and then tell me all about it tomorrow."

I can see the anticipation in her body, and I force down the teasing remarks dying to come out as I take a sip of my drink, the burn as it slides down my throat distracting me from my own infinite loneliness.

"Or you could go find a hot male and have some wild sex of your own?" Lin giggles, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at me but I roll my eyes, slapping her hand and trying to usher her from her seat. "Fine, fine, but are you sure-"

Lin pauses, the words dying out on her lips and under the fluorescent lights her tan skin goes pale, her eyes widening in surprise as she glances, not at me, but past me.

"Hey, are you okay?" I laugh, my brows furrowing as Lin's eyes turn back to me and the smile that tugs at her lips is odd- knowing, giddy almost. "Lin, what-"

"I'm fine, incredible even, and you're about to be too, I think," She bites her lip, giggling as she lifts from her stool and onto her platform heels, her eyes shining like stars as she slowly backs away. "Have fun, Y/N."

"Okay, you too," I say slowly, half-laughing, half-confused as Lin saunters away, her hips swaying as she moves toward that expecting male. His eyes meet hers and the tension goes taut between them. "Don't drink anything he gives you!"

I laugh quietly to myself as I turn away from her, tucking my legs under the bar and shaking my head at her bizarre behaviour- it seemed Lin was more of a lightweight than I thought.

"Hello darling," A smooth, deep voice, like melted chocolate, greets me from behind and my body shivers at the easy sound, "Is this seat taken?"

"No, it's available, this one too I'm just about to leave-" The placated smile on my lips turns to a surprised 'o' as I toss my hair over a shoulder, my bright eyes lifting- and meeting with a constellation of violet.

Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court- and the male who had been there when I was at my lowest.

"High- High Lord," I stutter, my eyes widening and it's as if his presence spurs something deep in my chest and it has me shifting to sit straighter, my head angling up to meet his captivating gaze. "These seats are available-"

"Please, it's Rhys," He smiled, and I smelt the sweet aroma of night-blooming Jasmine and ocean breeze as he pulled out the chair beside me, his long, toned body elegantly taking a seat inches from me.

"Right, Rhys," I breathe softly, remembering how he had said the same thing that night. Though his eyes held more softness now, unlike that night no violence or death was gleaming in them.

"Can I get a bourbon on the rocks," I watch his handsome face glance at the bartender, and I can't help but run my gaze over him- the silken raven locks effortlessly tousled, the strong bridge of his nose, the tilt of his lazy smile, how he leaned back against the chair, his powerful form at ease.

"And another of what the lovely lady beside me is having."

My eyes snap back up to his at the words, and my cheeks burn at the sparkle in his eyes. The kind that told me he knew I was looking over every inch of him, and that I, like most females, liked what I saw.

"You'll stick around for one drink, I hope?" He questions, and my heart pounded in my chest as he leaned closer, his legs brushing mine and I felt the electricity of his touch lance through my entire body. "I could do with the company, darling."

Darling. The nickname made my stomach flip, the way it rolled off his tongue made it sound so erotic, sensual like he knew he could pleasure a female with just his words.

"One drink," I nod, swallowing thickly as the bartender places Rhysand's glass of Bourbon and my wine before us with a soft clink. "I suppose it's the least I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything, I hope you know that" His voice softens, his eyes do too, and I know he's picturing me as I was that night. Crying. Shaking. A mess. His throat bobs, ringed finger tracing the rim of his untouched glass.

"I know, but I want to," I manage a small smile and the heat of his eyes on me, I feel it over every inch of my skin. Not purely sexual but seeing, like he couldn't take his eyes off me. "I didn't get a chance to thank you for what you did that night, I really am grateful for you helping me-"

"Please don't," Rhysand frowns, and his body is stiff now. All the warmth, all the teasing, has vanished from his eyes. Replaced by one thing- sadness. "Don't make me out to be some kind of hero for that night, Y/N. Anyone would have done the same-"

"And yet you were the only one who intervened," I scoffed, and his face tightened. The violet turned dark like midnight. "So many people passed us, so many people saw him grabbing me, heard how he was speaking to me. They saw me crying, heard me say no-"

My back hit the wall. Arms caged me in.

'You're nothing but a worthless fucking slut.'

'No, no, please, don't,' I felt the side of my dress tear open, the cold wind prickling my skin.

'A fat bitch who never listens,' I could taste metal in my mouth, his hand clamped down on my jaw, pinning me down. 'A fucking tease, wearing this dress and then telling me no when I want to touch what's mine.'

'Please, you're hurting me,' He laughed as I sobbed, groping along my body, the smell of alcohol on his breath making bile rise up my throat.

I heard the sound of a belt unbuckling.

'Someone please help me.'

"Y/N," His voice was hoarse as he spoke my name, pained. And when he laid one of his large, ringed hands against my knee, fingers curling around my flesh, I released a tight, desperate breath.

"You saved me that night, you and no one else," I blinked away the burning tears and locked my gaze with his. Power thrummed from him in waves, and the shadows in his eyes told me he remembered that night as well as I did, that it haunted him too.

"Perhaps you're too humble to think so," I cleared the lump in my throat, throwing Rhysand a teasing smile, or as much of one as I could manage. "But as far as I am concerned you were my hero that night, Rhys."

"I don't think humble is the word my family would use to describe me, darling," Rhys's lip quirked, and I knew he slipped into a mask of charm and playfulness for my sake. It made the ache in my chest ease. "I think the words they would use are more along the lines of arrogant, cocky, smug-"

"Charming, charismatic, flirtatious," I continued with a sly grin, and as I brought my glass to my mouth, Rhysand watched every movement keenly, shadows eclipsing his eyes as my lips parted and I sipped. "Clever, witty, swaggering."

"Careful, darling," His eyes flashed when my tongue flicked out to collect the droplets of wine off my bottom lip and I nearly purred when his fingers curled around my knee tighter. "You're inflating my already massive ego."

"I'm not done," I mutter softly, setting the glass before me again. Rhysand raises a brow, and his chest is rising and falling so harshly now. "Alluring. Gorgeous. Seductive."

His eyes twinkled like a thousand stars bursting to life and I knew he could hear how my heart was thundering in my chest.

"I fear you've got us confused," He breathed, and my entire body felt alight as he swooped his thumb back and forth against my thigh, his touch so consuming it was as if he were touching my bare skin. His lip quirked as if he knew it. "Those are words that describe you, not me."

I scoffed out a laugh, rolling my eyes but I couldn't deny the way his words made me feel. The way he made me feel. Tracing over my bright eyes and beaming smile, down my neck and chest, across my stomach and hips and thighs, his power thrummed as he took me in.

"Did you come here alone tonight?" I angled my head at him, feeling hot under his stare. Again, his thumb didn't stop soothing against me, so soft I was starting to get dizzy.

"I came with Cassian and Azriel," Rhysand nodded over his shoulder, "It was actually them who encouraged me to come speak to you."

"Encouraged you?" I raised a brow, surprised and the chuckle that escaped him ran over my skin. "What happened to arrogant, cocky, smug Rhysand?"

"Apparently as Cassian put it, I became the creep who was staring relentlessly at a beautiful female for hours," Rhys drawled, and a surprised laugh burst from me at his words. He rolled his violet eyes, but I swear under these lights, I could see a tint of red staining his cheeks.

The High Lord of the Night Court.

The most powerful High Lord in existence.

Blushing.

"You're laughing at me?" Rhysand cocked a brow, hand coming to his chest in faux offence, " I've been mocked by my brothers and now by the female, I like. I'm wounded darling, truly."

The female I like.

Cauldron.

"Poor High Lord," I pouted, my delicate hand coming down and resting over his at my knee. I shivered at the feeling of his skin against mine, and his eyes flashed down to where we touched. "It seems you can't catch a break tonight."

"Oh, I wouldn't say it's been a total loss," He mused lowly, his eyes lingered on our hands, on how much smaller mine was compared to his before they lifted to meet my gaze. Shadows and stars. Utterly consuming. "I'm here with you, aren't I?"

"And I'm here with you," I smiled, and it was the most genuine smile I've had in a while. Rhysand's eyes softened as if he knew it too. As if he could feel my content right now as strongly as I could.

But it wasn't just content. As I stared at him, at this beautiful, powerful, captivating male before me, I couldn't deny the ache that spread through my core. Couldn't ignore how just his hand at my knee made my thighs clench.

His eyes fell to where my legs clamped shut and something wholly dark filled his gaze, something that made it impossible to hide my arousal. His throat worked, and I knew he could smell exactly what my body wanted.

"Would Cassian and Azriel mind if I stole you for the night?" I asked, soft, breathless, I couldn't get the words louder than a whisper. Because I was afraid- of rejection, of embarrassment, of saying it aloud.

But he heard me. I knew he did.

I saw the muscles in his thighs tense, his whole body turning hard as stone. Even that hand at my thigh seemed to turn stiff. His eyes met mine, his mouth parting- and then closing. Like he didn't know what to say.

"Oh," I forced out a strained laugh, humiliation burning through me as I sat up, pulling my thigh from Rhysand's hold and frantically looking anywhere but at him. "It seems I've read this whole situation wrong."

He didn't want me.

He was just being kind.

He was just trying to make sure I was okay.

Of course, he didn't want me.

"No, no, don't-" His voice was sure, strong. As I reached to grab my purse, his hand curled around my wrist, gentle but firm, keeping me sat where I was. I clamped my eyes shut, twisting my face so that I did not have to face him. "You did not read this wrong at all, not at all Y/N."

"Rhysand, it's alright," I mumbled, trying to pull my hand free from his hold, but he wouldn't relent. I heard his body shift until his thighs were pressed to mine and I knew he was inched from me. "You don't have to say anything, I understand-"

"No, you don't darling," He snarled softly, and my body shook when his hand came to my chin and turned my face to his. I blinked, barely breathing as I met his burning violet eyes so close to mine. "I can hear those thoughts running through your mind right now. Stop, stop and don't even dare think that for a second again."

His thumb brushed my cheek, and I couldn't breathe with how close he was to me. So close I could smell the bourbon and mint with every breath against my mouth, so close I could count the stars in his eyes.

"I would like nothing more than for you to steal me away tonight, to steal me away every night," He admitted, his voice stern and commanding. "Some very selfish, greedy, dark part of me has been staring at you all night picturing exactly that. Picturing just how we would spend those hours."

Low, sultry words that made my heart race.

"But?" I whispered, my voice shaking. My whole body was shaking now.

"But I do not want you to see me as a hero, to see me as some kind of saviour," His words were unsteady, pained and I hated the frown that tilted his lips. wanted to soothe out the furrow in his brow. "I don't want you to think you owe me this. I want you to want to."

I swallowed and melted into the touch, the callouses of his fingers at my face making me sigh. My hand curled around his wrist, strong and sure, and I met his eyes with certainty.

"I do want to," I said, louder this time, "You do not want to be a hero, fine. But I do not want to be a victim, Rhys. Don't try and make me one."

Surprise flashed in his eyes. And something else. Something akin to fire, like my words lit a blaze in him.

"Cassian and Azriel definitely will not mind you stealing me away tonight," He rasped, voice like gravel and my body shivered at the smirk he gave me. "Let me grab your purse for you, darling."

***

Walking back to my apartment with Rhys, it was hard not to remember that night.

How different it had been.

How I had been shaking and crying, wrapped in a blanket to cover the exposed skin revealed under the tatters of my dress. How Rhysand had been violently still, his eyes so black it was as if a void had sucked away all the stars in them.

And how that awful, pulsing black magic had coiled around his hands. The same black magic that had wrapped around that male's throat, that had ripped him off of me, dropped him to his knees and squeezed the air from his lungs until he turned purple.

I remember seeing Rhysand appear in a cloud of black smoke, looking like death itself.

My head spun with how he had looked at me as he guided me home, walking trembling step after step, and something so pained, so agonised had filled his gaze. I knew it was me and me alone that kept him from killing that male, it was his need to take care of me first that had quelled the unparalleled desire he had to destroy him.

And now, a whole month later, as we walked under the sheet of stars and moonlight above, I couldn't help how my stomach coiled, a mixture of nerves and excitement dancing through me.

"I'm sure it's not the kind of luxury you're used to," I smiled, turning the handle of my front door, and pushing it open to reveal the dark expanse beyond. "But this is it. Home."

The Fae lights in my living room flickered on, dousing the small space. I stepped inside, Rhysand's tall form ducking under my doorway as he entered. I couldn't help but glance to and from his face as I locked the door behind us, watching him take in my home.

It felt intimate somehow. Him being here.

"It's lovely," Rhys smiled, violet eyes bright as he took in the simple leather couch and oak table, the shelves full of books and ornaments. He glanced forward, to the kitchen attacked to the side, drink bottles littering the island.

"I don't really bring people back here, males I mean," I laughed awkwardly, my stilettos clicking against the floor as I led Rhys further into my house. "My roommate, Lin, usually has people, males and females alike over all the time."

"I'm honoured to be here, then," I stopped at the kitchen island, dropping my purse on the table. My eyes met his, saw them darken as a smirk lined his lips "And selfishly, I'm glad that you don't bring males back here."

"Why?" I breathed, my chest rising and falling in waves as he inched closer to me. Stopping close enough that my taut nipples brushed his hard chest. "Feeling possessive? I didn't think High Lord Rhysand was the jealous type."

"Oh darling, I am the jealous type. The possessive type too," He murmured, and my eyes fluttered when his hands fell to my hips, pulling me flush to his chest and kneading the flesh there. "Because when you're mine, you're only mine."

"And am I?" I tilted my head to meet his eyes and the look in my gaze made his fingers tighten at my hips. "Yours?"

"Yes, if you would like to be," His voice turned quiet, sincere. I smiled at it, at the softness in his eyes. "I would like you to be."

"I would like to be too," My hand came up and cupped his strong jaw, loving how he melted into the touch. "Especially tonight. Kiss me Rhys."

He groans like I'm going to be the death of him. And then his head is dipping, and those sweet, pink lips collide with mine.

Cauldron, I knew he could kiss. But this was better than I could have hoped for.

My back hits the island as Rhys claims me, lips moving slow and steady against mine, strong hands keeping me in place. My mind spins as he kisses me, working me through every lap of his tongue teasing mine, one hand moving to tilt my chin, before resting at my throat.

The marble at my back digs painfully, but I don't care, not as Rhys slips his tongue past my lips, wet and hot and exploring. He groans at the taste of wine in my mouth, and my pussy clenches around nothing at the heady sound.

"Rhys," I whimper at the feeling of his long, hard cock straining in his pants, and pulsing against my stomach. He kisses and nips at my jaw, and I can't help but rub against him, loving how he shudders.

"Darling, I suggest you stop doing that," He snarls softly, canines scraping my neck and his hands clamp down, halting my movement. "Unless you want me to bend you over this island and fuck you raw right now."

I moan at his filthy words, back arching when his hands shift down to cup and fondle my ass. He laughs, sinister and low, violet eyes flashing to mine and brightening.

"Dirty girl, you'd like that wouldn't you?" He muses, smirking as he kneads my ass, rings digging into me. "Perhaps another night. Tonight though, I'd prefer to be a gentleman and take you for the first time on a bed."

"I happen to have a great bed," I whisper, my hands on his chest, pushing at the corded muscle. He chuckles again, mocking me, but he does relent, pulling me along with him. "First door on the right."

"First you let me into your home, now your bedroom," Rhysand smirks at me over his shoulder, his large hand interlaced with my small one. My stomach tilts and whirls as he pushes open my door. "It must be my lucky night."

"Arrogant, cocky, and smug indeed," I roll my eyes, seeing his smile brighten when the lights in my room flicker to life. Before I knew it, we were inside, the door closed and locked behind us. Alone.

He must sense my unease because he turns on his heel, his face serene as he glances over my small room. The double-sized bed, the pink cotton sheets, the small dresser and cabinet and more shelves stuffed full of books.

"You like to read?" He muses, walking over to the bookshelves and running a long, slender finger across their spines. My breasts ached at the thought of him touching me with those hands. His eyes peered over a shoulder at me- dark like he had heard that thought.

"Yes," I managed to say, throat dry as I fiddled with my thumbs. "I was big on fairy tales as I kid. Now I like more... adult stuff."

"Adult?" Rhysand's brow rose and every inch of me was molten as he turned around to face me, leaning against my draw with his arms tucked into his slacks and his powerful body at ease. "Adult-like romance or adult-like females being pleasured six ways to Sunday?"

I burst out laughing at that and Rhysand's smile grew, broad and lovely at the sound. He made it so easy to be around him, made it so easy that the anxiety in my chest faded into nothing.

"The second," I said quietly, and the air turned still as I moved toward him, taking step after slow step. "Though I'm yet to experience it myself. Being pleasured six ways to Sunday as you so eloquently put it."

I stop before him. I place one hand on his hard chest, feeling his heart racing under my palms. And then I glance up, fluttering my dark lashes and praying this looks sexy and not creepy.

Again, he laughs.

"Allow me to remedy that for you, darling," He grins and when his hand cups my jaw, I let myself go slack against him. His lips against mine are heaven, I could kiss this male for the rest of my fucking life. He kissed me back like he shared that sentiment.

I stumble back with him, our teeth clashing and lips bruising as we kiss and my hands touch him everywhere- through his dark, silken hair tugging at the roots, scratching down his neck and broad shoulders, feeling his muscles ripple under my fingers as I claw at him.

My legs bump against the bed but instead of pushing me down, his hands move to my dress. To the ties at the back. He pauses, panting as he pulls his lips from mine. I groan at the loss of contact, nibbling on his teeth as he draws away. But he peers at me, and I can see all the questions in his eyes.

For a second, I feel different hands touch me. Vile and degrading and horrible, all over my body. I smell bitter alcohol, invading my senses, and it's almost as if I can feel the wind piercing through the rips in my dress just like it did that night.

But then I blink. And It's Rhys again. With that lovely smile and those kind eyes. With those exploring, gentle hands and those lips that taste like sin. It's Rhys. And he wants me.

"May I?" He mutters, brushing his lips across mine in the barest kiss. I sigh when his fingers rest on the knots at the back. If I gave him the word to stop, he would, no questions asked. That was exactly why I didn't want him to stop.

"Yes," I said, and my voice did not so much as shake. I met his eyes and showed him how I felt, how badly I wanted him and nodded again. "Yes, please."

Rhys smiled and his eyes never left mine as he tugged the strings at the back of my dress, something akin to adoration blazing in his eyes as it all came loose. I braced myself as his gentle hands tugged down the material, letting it fall down my body and to the floor.

I was in nothing but my underwear now.

Rhys didn't look down. His eyes stayed on me. My throat bobbed, but I nodded to him again.

It was palpable, the shift in his eyes the second they lowered from my face. Down, down, down. Over my bare aching breasts, over my perked nipples, across my stomach and hips, over all the fat there, and down my thighs, dipping between them as I clenched them shut.

Desire. I felt it vibrating off him in waves. Like he truly thought I was beautiful.

"I hate the doubt in your eyes right now, in your mind," He said softly, and my body shivered when he trailed one finger across my collarbone, and down my chest. "I hate that you can't see how perfect you are, how fucking perfect your body is."

I shivered as he traced his fingers over my taut nipple, a moan slipping past my lips at the feel of his callouses against me.

“It’s not easy for me to feel like that,” I whispered, my voice shaking as he cupped my breasts, pinching the nipple and letting the weight and feel of them fill his hands. “But it’s easier right now. With you, it’s easier to believe.”

Something shifted in Rhysand’s eyes at my words. It was almost emotional, like what I said meant more to him than I could ever know. I lifted onto my tiptoes and pressed a slow, exploring kiss against his lips. It was the kind that I had read about books, that I had dreamed about, his lips moved against mine and felt right.

His hands are sure as he guides me down to sit on the bed and not for a moment does he break his lips free from mine. Rhysand’s hands explore my body, kneading my flesh as he kisses and suckles down my neck, my moans mixing with the wet sound of his mouth against my skin.

I’m not sure I’m breathing as he runs his hands along my hips and thighs, mouth smearing spit and scraping teeth against my breasts. His fingers hook under my underwear and within seconds it’s tugged down my legs and tossed to the floor.

I flutter open my eyes and something molten spreads through me.

Because Rhysand was on his knees before me. And it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

“Do you like me this, darling?” He muses, purely male satisfaction on his face as he drags my supple thighs apart. His eyes drop between my legs, to the swollen wetness there and he moans. “High Lord of the Night Court, bowed before the prettiest cunt he’s ever seen.”

I feel like I might climax just from his words. Just from how fucking feral he looks as he takes in my wetness, his hands at my thighs bruising as he keeps my legs apart.

I rest back on my hands, my arms shaking as Rhysand’s smug face inches closer and closer to the apex of my thighs, the violet in his gaze almost as dark as midnight as my arousal fills the air. I’m burning hot, everywhere and the anticipation is killing me.

But mercifully Rhys is no tease. He doesn’t have the patience for it tonight.

“Rhys,” I moan, my toes curling when his head dips between my thighs and he licked a broad stroke up the length of my cunt. Taking all the wetness from my entrance and smearing it up to my swollen clit. He does it again, growling, and I can hear how wet I am.

“Relax, darling,” Rhys murmurs and I gasp in surprise when his hands hook under my thighs, tugging me to the edge of the bed- and then he goes feral.

“Cauldron, oh my- Rhys,” My body is shaking as Rhys tastes me, his tongue flicking over my bundle of nerves again and again, so hard and fast I can feel the pleasure down to my toes. He groans as he does so, the sound vibrating through my core and making my head spin.

My eyes close, my arms give out and I’m lying on my back, arching against my sheets, Rhys holding my thighs and hips like a boulder. He doesn’t relent even as my cries grow erratic, his tongue slipping down to fuck into my hole, hot and warm and knowing exactly what he’s doing.

One finger slips in. and then another. And another.

Three fingers and I’m clamped around him like a vice, his fingers fucking into me, his tongue suckling at my clit, my moans, his moans- it was dancing through the room like a symphony. It feels like minutes before that pit in me starts to grow and I know I won’t last long; I don’t want to last long.

“Rhys, please-“ I don’t know what I’m begging for. But he does, he knows what I need. Because his lips close around my clit and those long, graceful fingers curl up into a deep, spongey spot inside me, hitting a button that makes me scream.

Searing hot light burns through me and I can feel Rhys grinning against my cunt as my orgasm hits me, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I cry his name again and again, my body on fire as he buries his fingers inside me, still sucking and nibbling on my clit. Dragging out every last inch of my climax.

“Rhys, Rhys-“

He chuckles, like a smug bastard, lips plucking back from my swollen clit and those three fingers slipping out of my pulsing hole. I shudder, sweat coating my skin and when he finally unhooks his arms from my legs, I sag to the bed, panting.

My eyes are closed and all I can do is catch my breath as tendrils of my orgasm coil through me, disappearing inch by inch.

The bed dips around me and I feel the familiar power and warmth as Rhysand ascends over me, two hands braced on either side of my head, my thighs wrapping around his waist. I blink my eyes open, seeing a constellation above, and the sweetest smile.

“Hello, darling,” Rhys smirks and I chuckle as I take in the pleased expression he wore, loving me so strung. He lifts one hand, brushing the damp hair from my face and I croon when he runs the pad of his thumb over my mouth. “Do you want to stop?”

“No,” I say immediately. Something almost terrifying drapes across his face as I take his thumb past my lips and into my mouth, twirling my tongue around the digit and staring into his eyes. He plucks it free, looking like he could devour me. “I don’t want to stop.”

“Alluring. Gorgeous. Seductive.” Rhys muttered, voice like gravel and my entire body purred when he knelt back on my bed and began to undo his shirt. “Definitely the words to describe you, Y/N darling.”

I stay silent as I watch him easily undo one button at a time, the graceful movements of his fingers almost sensual as more and more skin, covered with dark whorls is revealed to me. I’m breathless as he tugs off the material throwing it off the bed, captivated by the lean, hard muscle, and the slender dip of a v-line at his waist.

He grins down at me as my hands come up to his chest, muscles flexing as I claw down his pecs, teasing his nipples, scratching his abs, tracing the faint dusting of hair all the way down to his slacks. His eyes burn into me as I fiddle with the ties, tugging the front of his slacks loose to free his length straining inside.

I undo the last button and my pussy clenches as his cock springs free, slapping back against his stomach. It’s the prettiest cock I’ve ever seen. Long and thick, veined and tan, small beads of pre-cum slipping down the head and dropping onto my thigh.

Not sure I’ve ever had a female tell me my cock is pretty before, darling.

The sound echoes through my mind and I jolt at it, surprised. My eyes meet his, see them twinkling and every atom in me throbs when his hands wrap around his length, and he pumps himself. I whimper, his eyes on mine watching me fall apart at the sight of touching himself.

Fuck me, Rhys.

I send the thought out to him through my mind, not knowing how it works but hoping he would get the message anyway. He did- I could tell just by how hard he fisted himself now, his pre-cum spilling down his hand as he stroked up and down.

You need it, darling? Need me? He teased through my mind, so arrogant it made me scowl at him.

Yes, asshole. I hissed, and he laughed aloud, eyes bright with amusement. I need you, fuck me, please.

He groans and I’m grinning as he leans forward, bracing his palms on either side of me, his powerful body atop of me now. I felt small under him, felt like I was completely at his mercy and that feeling seemed to make me even more wet.

“Wrap your leg around my hip, darling,” Rhys said softly, and I was more than eager when he guided my thigh up, wrapping it around him, fingers splaying over my flesh. “Wanna get as deep as I can into this sweet pussy.”

“Rhys,” I whined, my eyes fluttering as he dragged his tip through my folds, the pressure against my swollen lips and sore clit making me feel like I might explode. “Rhys- please-“

He slips his tip into me. And my eyes roll as he sinks and sinks and sinks into me. Inch after perfect inch. Stretching me so fucking wide that my head starts to spin. He stops when his hips meet mine, maxing out and I swear I feel the shape of him imprinted against my stomach.

“Fuck, you’re wrapped around me so tight,” Rhys curses and his fingers tighten around my flesh. I tilt my neck up when his lips meet mine, desperate and needy for the feel of him, the taste of him, as the pain between my legs slowly eases to mild discomfort.

“Move Rhys,” I claw up his chest and shoulders, burying my fingers in his hair.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” He mutters, groaning as he slowly pulls his length out, my wetness making it so easy for him to move. I moan at the tendrils of pleasure that spark through me as he drags himself out and then in, again and again, barely moving.

“I can handle it, Rhys,” I force his eyes to meet mine and I know he’s holding himself back. For my sake. I roll my hips, and the moan that escapes him as he slips in deeper makes my toes curl. “Move, Rhys.”

Rhys snarls low in his throat. And then he pulls out to the tip before shoving his cock inside me in one full stroke until his hips slam against mine. I cry out and it’s almost euphoric how good it feels.

“That’s it,” He praises, jaw clenched and muscles hard as stone as he rolls his hips into me, hard and fast, tip brushing against my walls in a way that makes me endlessly moan. “Feel how good you fit around me, darling.”

I whine at the filthy words he snarls into my ear, canines nibbling at my earlobe as he fucks in and out of me. He lifts my leg higher up his waist and our moans sync when he sinks into me, so far, I can feel him hitting the back of me.

“Oh Rhys,” I cry his name again and again, his cock inside me feeling so full, every stroke stealing the breath from my lungs.

He ruts his hips up to meet me, the sound of him fucking in and out of me, so wild and demanding, is like music in the room, mixing with our moans, our low curses, and the way our hands wander over each other, unable to get enough.

“Look at me, Y/N,” Rhys commands, and I gasp, eyes fluttering open when his hand clamps around my jaw, tilting my neck to meet him. I see the darkness and depravity and need burning like fire through his eyes. Watching my face twist, my eyes roll as he fucks me, skin slapping skin.

“I’m so close, Rhys-“ I babble, back arching and my hand curls around his wrist still holding my jaw. My insides feel like mush as he hits that button inside me again and again. “I’m so fucking close.”

“Yeah? You gonna come, darling?” He taunts, and I nearly start sobbing when his hand moves from my thigh, between our bodies and starts rubbing erratically at my clit. He laughs, like he fucking loves it, loves seeing me fall apart, “That’s it, come for your High Lord. Wanna feel you milk me dry.”

There’s something so commanding, so burning and domineering in his words, in those star-flecked eyes that when he dives his hips into me again, when his thumb flicks at my clit, my entire body erupts with my orgasm.

“Rhys, Rhys, Rhys-“

I cry out, black dots blurring my vision and my body bucking and writhing against his hard muscles as release ripples over me like a tidal wave. Rhysand grunts as I clench around him, suffocating his cock inside me, the orgasm hitting me and lasting longer than I’ve ever had.

“Just like that,” He pants, and I feel his movements become sloppier, more erratic, more careless, driven to the edge by me coming around him.

My body trembles with the aftermath of my orgasm, edged on by the way Rhys still moved in and out of me, chasing his own high. And when his forehead rests against mine and he groans, guttural and heady and low, I know he’s found it.

My eyes blink open, desperate to watch him fall apart. And it doesn’t disappoint.

I watch, breathless, as Rhysand tips his head back, exposing the strong column of his throat and the sound that escapes him, the guttural moan, as he stills inside me has the walls of my room shaking. Pure, unfiltered power radiates from him and my pussy throbs as he spills inside me, hot and wet and endless.

I can’t tear my eyes off him as his orgasm fades and I’m smiling as he sags against my body, the both of us sweating and panting, melting into the other’s embrace.

He stays seated inside me and wraps his arms around my body, sinking into my warmth and softness and looking more than content. He sighs, pressing a kiss to my lips, once, twice, a smile curling his lips when I giggle.

“Darling,” Rhys whispers, his eyes tender as he lifts onto his elbow to meet my stare, “I meant what I said before. I want you to be mine. And not just tonight.”

There’s an ache behind my eyes as he stares at me, looking at me with so much adoration, so much love that I feel like he’s wrapped a hand around my heart and squeezed.

“I want that too,” I whisper back, cupping his jaw. He presses a kiss to the inside of my palm, grinning.

“As a gentleman, I should ask then,” He teases, inching his face closer to mine and resting his forehead against me. “Will you go out with me?”

I snort, eyes creasing as I laugh and Rhys beams at me, peppering kisses at my jaw and lips as I giggle.

“Yes, Rhys,” I say softly, drowning in those wonderful, tender, violet eyes. “I would love to go out with you.”

__________________________________________________

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rwrbficrecs · 3 months

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First monthly faves for 2024 !! ❤️

Leave a message by @sherryvalli (book-verse)

@dot524: In the mood for some cute, heart-melting fluff? This is a one-shot that recounts Alex’s voicemail messages over the years from those who care about him - including Henry.

would you be my love, my love? (would you be mine) by ohprongs (book-verse)

@wilmonsfolklore: a strictly come dancing AU with a lot of feelings that I've been thinking about ever since i read it!!!

even though we know it isn't true by @matherines (book-verse)

@wilmonsfolklore: for everyone struggling with academic pressure, or anyone, really. it's pretty sad but of course there's comfort personified in Henry!!

beyond infatuation, how obsessively i adore you by @waterloolovers (book-verse)

@wilmonsfolklore: a new fandom classic if you ask me. Henry works at the daycare Alex's daughter goes to and their relationship progresses really naturally. the kid content in this fic is some of the cutest i have ever read and this is the perfect fic to go on your reread list for comfort.

And They Were Roommates by @14carrotghoul (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Alex and Henry get to know themselves and each other after they move in together. This story is not sugarcoated at all, very realistic - just how life is, and so so sweet. Also, unfortunately, rather short, but still worth the read - as are many other stories by this author, such as the 'Las flores' series.

Spirit of the Season by @pridepages (book-verse)

@heybuddy-drabbles: A little late to the game but I finally read E.J's Christmas story. Her way of story telling doesn't disappoint in this shorter tale (by her standards). It's not lighthearted and it touches some difficult topics (mostly canon) but it's all worth it because of the way they fall in love through Christmas Eve/night. Can't recommend it enough!

Where There Are Octobers by @iboatedhere (book-verse)

@na-dineee: 31 short chapters that are just really fun to read! Some are post-canon or canon-compliant, others are AUs - but in all of them the characters are so beautifully drawn, true to how we know and love them! A vet AU, a hospital AU, major fluff, even an X-Files AU - and who knows, maybe one or two dribbles will turn into more?! Fingers crossed!

The Art of Losing by bigfishbigpond (book-verse)

@dot524: If you think the mid-story breakup should have been longer and more angsty, here’s the story for you. An interesting and heartfelt story of what Henry and Alex are like apart, and what pulls them back together.

I know that you hate me (Do you though?) by @arand0mdutchgirl (book-verse)

@magnificentandcoolfez: A bit of good ADHD angst (with some comfort ofc). I like the focus on how hard adhd can be and it's a short and good read for those who like comfort that comes in the shape of your crush holding you until you feel grounded again.

blushing ears and beating hearts by @kill8a (book-verse)

@na-dineee: This story is not just slow burn, it is glacial burn. It's an college AU, set in New York, and so slow, so tender, so fluffy - after reading it I was floating on cloud 9 for quite a while. I don't know if you feel the same way, but it's funny how changing one given variable somehow changes the whole dynamic between the two of them. Or is it just me?! Either way, it's so wholesome to tag along as their love blossoms, I still feel so hugged and cared for.

all so human with our guards down by @maxbegone (book-verse)

@myheartalivewrites: a post-apocalyptic story that is unlike any other. There are no zombies or gore, but instead it focuses on rebuilding and the softest love growing between Alex and Henry, surrounded by family and friends. I kinda wanted to live there by the end of it.

The Snow Prince by @orchidscript (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: several fairy tale tropes meet to create this absolutely amazing story. It has dreaminess of a fable, best kind of yearning of your favourite slow burn fics and a little bit of adventure of a fantasy novel.

but to say that I'm a rainbow, to tell me that I'm bright (when I'm so used to feeling wrong, well, it helps me feel alright.) by What_Is_A_Mild_Opinion (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: Fandom is really sleeping on this one! This story is a canon rewrite with characters reimagined as creatures with animal characteristics. The wordbuilding is so fantastic that even if you are not a fan of long fics following canon step by step, it's absolutely worth to check this even for a chapter or two and get to know these wonderful versions of Alex and Henry. (Alex is literally rainbow.)

safe with me / more than I ever (in a thousand years)by @indomitable-love (book-verse)

@na-dineee: I think the author is very well known among all rwrb fanfic readers. I really, really liked these two stories, like a lot: Two 5+1 fics, one from Pez's point of view, the other from Bea's - unfortunately both characters are given too little attention in the book imho. As expected, both narrators are sharply observing, protective of Henry, loving, honest, tender - and you end up loving Henry (and Alex) even more.

check out our past Monthly Faves here ❤️

#monthly faves #rwrb fic recs #firstprince #firstprince fic recs

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thefallennightmare · 5 months

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Just Pretend-eight

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: okay, I had no plans on updating tonight(it's already 12:15 in the morning and I have to be up in seven hours) But I realized how crazy busy the next few days are so I said fuck it, and power wrote this for you all! PLEASE ENJOY!

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"You're doing it again."

I ignored Jolly as I continued to pace the length of our bus while they watched with worry in their eyes.

"I don't understand. What the fuck happened? I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her." I rambled on while running a hand over my mouth.

"Noah-."

"No," I snapped while stopping in my tracks and looked directly into Nick's eyes. "I tried to tell her about Trey but she believed him over me. I know what I heard. Wasn't I enough for her?"

Nick sighed as he leaned against the counter in the kitchen area of the bus. "We all know that's not the reason she didn't believe you. It has nothing to do about your worth to her, Noah. She has no love for Trey, she's just blinded by what she think she wants. He has her claws in deep and she think there's no way out."

"He's a disease, eating away at her," Jolly spoke from his spot on the couch.

"I'm so fucked," I hastily tied my hair back out of my face. "She'll never see me the way I see her."

Jolly disagreed with a shake of his head. "You don't see what I've seen the last month. I think she feels the same."

Just as I was about to argue with Jolly, Folio fell down onto the couch next to him with a heavy thump while popping open a can of red bull. "She like's you, Noah. Trust me."

"Really? Because with how the conversation went, I think differently. It's clear who she would rather be with."

"You're not seeing it through her lense. Do you not remember how you were with-."

My eyes sliced into Nick as he tried to bring up my ex, again. "Don't."

He shook his head and stood straighter. "No, you're not going to get out of this conversation. I'm tired of you ignoring this. Julie fucked you up, but you needed time to grow from it and move forward. You need to let Y/N realize that and do it."

“I’ve seen you through everything after Julie," Nick continued. "We've known each other since we were twelve years old, trust me when I say this; Y/N's seeing things from a distance right now. She’s afraid she’s going to lose everything, he’s got her fucking trapped in that way of thinking."

Jolly agreed. "All it's going to take is one more slip, and Y/N's gonna see it. Trey is one more vodka red bull away from being fired."

I snorted while resting my hand on my hips. "I doubt that. Trey thinks he's the heart and soul of that band. There's no way he's going to get fired."

"Have our hunches ever been wrong?" Nick sighed. "Look, I think we all knew that there was something there, even before you met her. You were always so drawn to her music, then you met her and I’ve seen you smile; actually smile, Noah. I haven’t seen you smile like that in years. I think I can speak for us when I say; you’re not alone. She loves you too."

He shrugged as if mine and Y/N's feelings for each other were that simple.

I fell into the couch behind me with an almost defeated groan. "I don't know, guys. It feels pretty one sided right now."

"Just give it time," Folio smiled. "It might not be an easy road but we all see it; even Malcolm and Chase. Trey see's it too that's why he's acting like this. He knows Y/N's slipping from his grasp."

"Fuck him," I grumbled while leaning my head back to look up at the ceiling.

"Noah," Jolly's soft voice eased the growing tension.

I hummed in response, not bothering to look at him.

"Did you kiss her?"

My head snapped up at his question, heart hammering heart in my chest when I remember it; the memory never left if I was being honest.

"Yea," I sighed, not bothering to lie.

They all knew, it was clear on the unsurprised looks on their faces, but Nick's shoulders fell slightly. "You're really in deep."

I clasped my hands together as my arms rested on my thighs. "I know."

READER

Noah brushed past me, his anger radiating through me in waves, as the tears fell from my eyes to the ground below. My mind was swirling with so many words, I couldn't focus on what hurt the most.

"Trey cheated on you."

"No, I get it loud and fucking clear, Y/N! You're so afraid of how you feel for me, for us, that you're staying with something familiar even though he treats you like shit!"

"I don't deserve this," I wiped away the tears and turned slowly on my feet to head back to the bus but halted.

Did I really want to go there knowing that's where Trey was? What would I do? Confront him or ignore it like I did everything else?

Instead of walking towards my bus, I turned to take a few steps when I realized I was walking towards Bad Omens bus almost out of habit. I peered up through the windows to see Noah pacing while talking with his hands, no doubt telling the guys about what happened. For a moment, I forgot about the last hour of my birthday and remembered all the great things everyone put together for me today.

Even through the clear anger on his face, Noah looked ethereal in the low light of the bus. Out of everything he said tonight, the one thing I believed to be true was my feelings about him. I knew early on that I felt more than a normal friendship with him but it scared me to death.

There were these chemicals that passed between us when we kissed and it made us cling to one another. It blinded me for a little while to all the bad in my life until it came crashing down light a fit of rain. Noah was a miracle, and although I wasn't spiritual, he'd been this glimpse of bliss, a taste of heaven that my body desperately needed; my soul desired.

Now you fucked it up because you believed Trey over him.

I forced the negative thoughts out of my head and peered down to the still healing tattoo on my ankle before those imaginary walls built up inside of me, just like they were weeks ago when tour first started. Veering away from the busses, I walked to behind the venue as the physical pain in my heart cut off the oxygen in my lungs. I was gasping for breath, tears burning in my eyes, and I reached out a hand to grasp the brick of the building.

"Y/N!"

Malcolm's frantic voice called from behind; or in front? No, from the side?

Everything around me became hazy, fading to darkness as it gripped itself around my throat squeezing the life from me.

"Y/N," his soft hands on my face brought me back from the void as I stared up at his emerald eyes; filled with concern.

I pushed his hands away. "Leave me alone, Malcolm."

"Stop," he demanded as I tried to walk away, his large frame standing in front of me again. "What the fuck happened?"

"It's none of your business," I gritted out through clenched teeth.

I wasn't irritated with Malcolm, more so myself for being a fucking idiot.

"Hey, don't talk to me like that. It's me!" He grabbed my shoulders and gently shook me. "What did you do? I ran into Folio and he told me you and Noah got into a fight."

"Malcolm," my breath wavered as I averted my gaze to my dirty vans.

"Why are you pushing him away, Y/N? Noah cares about you, he would like about something like this."

I swallowed thickly. "Because-shit. I can't get upset about Trey cheating because I'm no better than he is."

I expected Malcolm to rear back in shock or scold me but he didn't. Instead, a small smile pulled at the corner of his lips.

"Chase and I had a bet to see who would tell us about the kiss first. I'm shocked you kept it a secret this long," he smirked.

"How did you know?" I asked dumbfounded.

He shrugged. "Ever since you two came back from Keaton's funeral, you've been happier; brighter. And every time I would watch you, you'd be looking at Noah's lips with a dumb grin on your face."

I playfully smacked his chest which caused him to break out in laugher; one I shared with him. It felt good to get that off of my shoulders.

"Honestly, Y/N,' Malcolm turned serious. "Why are you even with Trey? You know you don't deserve to be treated like this."

"You know why," I stared at him, all the words I couldn't say being held in my gaze.

“Sweets," his old nickname for me was something I hand't expected, and it was enough to break down those walls. "Come on, this band is you. It’s you. They come to see you. We’re in the band with this prick for you. You’re not gonna lose us, Y/N. As for Noah, he’s a good guy. Don’t spin the wheel on him and make him the bad guy when he isn’t.”

I choked out a sob as I wrapped my arms around myself. “I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know. I don’t love Trey, Malcom, I don’t. How can I face Noah now? Everything is so messed up."

Malcolm's arms pulled me into him and I melted, the familiarity of his scent and warmth was exactly what I needed to breathe a little easier. Both him and Chase had been brothers to me the last handful of years, they knew what I needed before I knew myself.

"It’ll get resolved, sweets. It will." His hand smoothed away the hair from my face. "Just give it time, you and him will make amends and either be friends or go about doing whatever you want to do. But, make a choice. Don’t lead him on and don’t punish yourself for the sins of Trey."

"You're right," I sniffled and wiped the snot on the back of my hand.

"Course I am," he now ruffled the hair he just finished smoothing down.

"You've been hanging with Jolly and Noah too much, I think," I giggled while pulling away from him. "You're such a philosopher now."

He wrapped an arm around me and began leading me back to the busses, much to my dismay, but I knew I couldn't avoid Trey forever. I needed to face this head on.

"I hope you had a good birthday before everything went to shit," Malcolm frowned.

"I did," I nodded. "I'm glad you guys told the Bad Omens guys about it. Means a lot."

As Malcolm rambled on about how Chase and him were talking about getting a bigger flat in Los Angeles once tour was over, I kept replaying the words he spoke to me, humming a tune along with him.

Just give it time.. hmm hmmm. And if you and- him, no. And if you and I- hmmmm.

NOAH

Three days. Three fucking days since I last talked to Y/N, and I was going insane. She wanted space to think about everything and space was exactly what she got. Trey did a great job at keeping her on the bus when they weren't doing soundcheck or playing a show. My phone burned in my hand every time I tried to text her but ended up backing out.

She needed space; I reminded myself but that didn't stop me from what I did last night during our set. Her, Malcolm, and Chase were watching us from side stage and when I felt her dead eyes staring at my back, I looked over my shoulder at her; the words from my song tangling between the webbed connection that was growing stronger every day that passed.

"We're just two wrong souls that met at the wrong time. So just go your way, and I'll go mine. You'll be alone with someone new until the day that you die and I'll watch from afar to make sure you're alright."

Y/N rubbed her elbows and turned her back to me, leaving my line of sight.

I expected her to text me after that but she didn't. Chase reassured me she was fine and told me not to worry, she would come around eventually.

The darkness that filled her usually bright eyes was the only thing that stared back at me now as I hung out in the green room, hours before our show. I was talking with Jolly when her soft voice carried into the room, broken reflection staring behind me in the mirror I was standing in front of.

All I saw in those dark eyes was someone who was heartbroken, in love with the idea of who she thought Trey was, that she didn't realize there was a heartbeat standing in front of her, beating and bleeding for only her.

"Shit, I was looking for Trey." She muttered while clutching her sweater close to her chest.

Not only was she spending more time with him, Y/N was back to wearing clothes that hid herself from the world. Anger filled my veins as I kept my eyes on her reflection in the mirror, blowing out a deep breath.

"I don't know why you thought he'd be in here," I said flatly.

Jolly gave me a look of disapproval before shaking his head. "Have you checked the bus?"

Y/N turned towards him. "Uh, yeah. Sorry for bothering you guys."

"You're fine, Y/N," Jolly's soft voice stopped her from leaving the room prematurely. "You're never bothering us, alright? We're here for whatever you need."

"I know you are but," She nodded towards me. "I'd say Noah thinks differently."

"You really want to know what I think?" I spun on my heels to face her.

Her eyes narrowed. "I'm not getting into this with you, Noah. I've been through a lot of shit the last few days, the last thing I need is your dissapointed sighs every time I walk into the room or the way you tell me how you really feel through your lyrics."

"How I really feel?" I scoffed while running a hand over my jaw. "You know how I feel, angel. But you walked away."

"I didn't have a choice, Noah! Trey's my boyfriend!" She snapped.

Gone was any sympathy I felt for the situation. In this moment, all I felt was rage.

"He's cheating on you!" I threw a hand out towards the door of the room. "Where do you think he goes every time he disappears? Surely not getting drunk all the time. If he is, it's with someone sucking his dick, probably."

Y/N's hands shook at her sides. "Fuck you."

"Why are you so hell bent on believing he's the only one for you?" I demanded taking a step towards her.

Jolly, who was still in the room, watched us with careful eyes. He knew we needed to hash things out but still wanted to make sure nothing went too far.

"I have too!" She seethed while pushing me away. "Trey's not as bad as you guys think, okay? He's the one that gave me a place in this band; He believed in me so I have to believe him."

"Do you love him?" I questioned while grasping her hand as it remained on my chest.

She blinked, and for a long moment, said nothing as she thought of her answer. But I never got the answer because Matt poked his head into the room.

"What the fuck, guys! I've been looking everywhere for you. We have this interview with a reporter in two minutes."

"I need a minute," I quipped towards Matt but kept my eyes sternly on Y/N's face.

He went to protest but Y/N slipped away from me, creating more distance.

"No, he doesn't. I'm done with this conversation."

"Angel." I went to reach for her hand but she recoiled back as if I burned her.

"Just stop, okay? I already made my decision. I don't give a fuck if you don't like it but it wasn't your choice. Whatever you wanted to have with me, Noah; it's not going to happen. I'm with Trey because he understands. He knows me; you don't."

She was out of the room before I could digest her words completely.

READER

Everything is so fucked.

I sat on my bunk with my knees pulled to my chest, forehead resting on them, as the tears continued to fall onto the blanket beneath me. My body felt drained of any light or energy from how much I cried the last few days that I wasn't sure how I'd be able to perform tonight. There was only three shows left on tour, maybe fans would understand if we canceled them? Have Ethan post something on social media letting them I didn't feel well and needed the time to recoup?

Right, they'd probably burn our merch because I didn't come out myself and say this.

Wiping the snot and tears on the sleeve of my sweater, I went to tuck myself under the blanket when I heard some commotion from the front area of the bus.

"You sure we're alone?" A quiet but feminine voice spoke.

"Yea, she's probably groveling for that kid's forgiveness right now. Bitch is so obsessed with him, I'm supposed he hasn't kicked her to the curb yet."

Trey.

My heart sank as I sat up a little straighter in my bunk, careful not to make a sound.

"Why are you still with her then? She seems to hold you back from achieving greatness."

Trey snorted. "She's nothing without me, babe. I'm the one that gave her everything she has and she knows it. All Y/N's good for in a hole to stick my dick in but even then all she did was bitch about how much it hurt or wasn't feeling good enough for her. Surprised I even continued to fuck her after she bled on my dick."

My jaw went slack as my heart broke into tiny little pieces, falling into the pits of my stomach.

How could he? Trey knew about my condition, he was there when I got the diagnosis all those years ago and needed a shoulder to cry on. And the bleeding was only because the pain was too much for me. I knew I should have stopped him but I remember biting my cheek, hoping it would subside. Eventually it did, but I didn't know bleeding during sex was a side effect with this condition.

"Thank fuck I wore a condom with her every time," Trey grumbled.

"Well," the women's voice turned sultry. "You don't have to worry about that with me. I can be whatever you want me to be tonight. I'm just so thankful you found me waiting in line for the show tonight. I wished for this."

"You sure you don't want one of those kids from Bad Omens? Their vocalist has a thing for stealing what's mine."

"Oh, please. Noah Sebastian? He's a talentless slender man. I can't believe you guys are touring with them. They're clearly riding your coattails to fame because Noah know's he'll never be the man you are."

Okay, that's it.

Ripping the curtain open, I stormed into the front section of the bus just in time to see Trey forcing his tongue down this girl's throat. I stumbled over my words when I noticed how young she was; she had to be twenty years old.

Ten years younger than Trey.

"What the fuck," I spat.

They both broke apart and while the girl looked shocked as hell seeing me, Trey narrowed his eyes at me.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded.

It took me a few moments to gain my barrings before I finally snapped my gaze towards the young girl. "How old are you? Don't even think about giving me a bullshit answer. I have people that can find out who you are in a matter of minutes."

She shifted on her feet. "Seventeen."

Fuck-make that thirteen years younger than Trey.

"Oh my Hades," I pinched my eyes shut while taking a deep breath.

"Y/N, baby. She was only asking for a picture," Trey tried to explain.

"Of what, your dick?" I snapped.

"Atleast I'm giving him something," the girl crossed her arms over her chest while popping a hip out to look tough.

"Really," I raised a brow. "You have two seconds to get off this bus before security hauls your ass out of here in cuffs with everyone watching that."

She huffed. "I'm not afraid of some security guards."

I hummed while pulling out my phone to take a quick picture of her and Trey's arm wrapped around her neck.

"But I bet your afraid of your parents finding out that you're sneaking onto tour busses with men ten years older."

The girl paled. "You don't know my name, how would my parents find out?"

"No, I may not know your name but social media is a powerful thing," I shook my phone. "All I have to do is post it on my Instagram and one of my half a million followers know you."

"Y/N-," Trey warned.

"Oh you know what," I snapped my fingers. "I bet you follow Trey. Won't be hard to find a blonde."

I made a mock show of scrolling through my phone and continued to ramble on. "Here I thought I was Trey's type; brunette and older. Apparently I was wrong."

"Are you done with your jokes?" Trey groaned while running a hand through his curls.

"Oh, here you are!" I ignored him by holding up my phone in mock victory. My eyes bounced between my phone and the girl. "Your picture doesn't do you justice."

"Wait!" She yelled with her hands out towards me. "Please don't! I'll leave and forget this ever happened."

I smirked while motioning towards the bus. "Let the door hit ya on the way out."

Once alone, I snapped all of my hatred and anger towards Trey. "You're fucking unbelievable! She's a child you disgusting piece of shit!"

"More experienced than you," Trey shrugged.

I blinked, appalled in so many ways. "Why the hell did you even stay with me then, Trey?" I asked.

"A good hole when I couldn't find what I needed."

God, why did I ever think he loved me?

"You're a real asshole," I shook my head. "I can't believe I took your side over his."

That angered him because Trey tossed his jacket off onto the couch before pointing over my shoulder. "You want to talk about me? Lets look what's inside your suitcase."

Storming passed me, he ripped my private suitcase from an empty bunk and tossed the contents all over the floor at my feet. The three gifts Noah has bought be over the last few weeks standing out like a sore thumb.

Trey snatched up the bracelet and necklace. "You wanna talk about me? What the fuck is this?”

“It’s just a bracelet and a necklace. Trey, don’t even say it’s the same." I rolled my eyes, not seeing it the way he was.

"Bullshit," he spat at my feet. "You had no problem fucking keeping it did you? Is this from him?!"

When I didn't answer, he lost it and tossed the jewelry across the bus, his loud voice carrying through the open windows of the bus.

"It is, isn’t it? You had no problem fucking accepting it did you?”

I stood tall against him, this time not backing down as Trey picked up the wolf stuffed animal Noah bought me from the outing at the zoo. "What the fuck is this? Are you ten? You need to sleep with a stuffed animal?"

I choked on a breath when he tossed it out of the window.

"You're not going to turn this on me! You sick fuck!"

“No, I think we will. I’ve known for years you couldn’t hack it. You can act innocent like you haven’t been falling for this other guy this whole fucking time! That arrogant fucking prick thinks his little bring me dupe band is gonna make it."

Trey punched the wall next to him, causing me to jump slightly. "Shit-fuck them and fuck him."

“How dare you!" I pointed a finger at him. "They work fucking hard, harder than you ever have, Trey. Fuck, you're a piece of shit. I can’t believe I've ever cared for you.”

“Fucking ditto baby," Trey chuckled darkly. "You think he’s gonna fall in love with you and magically make your problems go away?"

My hands clenched into fists at my side. "I never said that but-."

"Do you really think this dude is going to want to waste thousands of dollars on implanting something that should fucking work? Christ, that has to be embarrassing for you; go ahead and tell him. I'd love to see if he stays with you."

He paused for a long moment and I was livid, anger pulsing through me he went that low.

Trey took a step towards me, almost getting in my face as his voice dropped. "Noah doesn’t know how fucking broken you are and I bet with all the money in the world, you can't magically fix this."

He motioned towards my body with a limp finger.

"Fuck you, Trey!" I pushed him away from me with all my strength. "Let me clear this up for you and don’t stop me if I talk too fast. It’s my life not yours! And it’s my heart; my soul! It isn’t yours anymore! You’re self destructive so maybe we’re even."

"Remember, baby, I found you when you were nothing, I tried to make you something! Turn you into a star-but now look at you, a fucking bitch on a leash and for who? Him. He just wants to pump and dump ya baby, like so many others."

The sound of skin on skin echoed out of the open windows as I slapped tray across the face, his eyes burning daggers into the ground.

"I fucking hate you. I can't believe I wasted years on someone like you! You fucked me up so bad, how can I ever love someone else without thinking their cheating on me? I'll spend my entire life wondering if I'm good enough for anyone else, does that make you feel good? Knowing that I'm fucked up."

Trye sneered while snapping his head up towards me. "I'll sleep like a fucking baby; something you'll never have."

Another slap followed by another. He took a step towards me while raising his fist and as I prepared myself for the impact, feet pounding on the ground were my saving grace.

"Mother fucker!"

Chase tackled Trey into the wall behind them, forcing his forearm into Trey's neck, cutting off his oxygen. Malcolm was at my side, eyes scanning over me for any injuries; physically there were none but emotionally, I was cut up from the inside out.

Ethan, our manager, must have heard the commotion as well, because he was now standing on the other side of me, eyeing Trey with a questionable gaze.

"Chase, let him go," Ethan spoke slow.

It only made Chase tighten his grip on Trey's throat. "Piece of shit deserves this. He was about to hit, Y/N."

"Deserves. It," Trey choked out with a sickly smile.

I turned away from him, tears falling from my eyes suddenly as the sobs attacked me with such force I fell into Malcolm's arms. Ethan stepped up to Chase and left a gentle hand on his back.

"I can't kick him out unless he's free to leave, Chase."

Trey's eyes widened with either the loss of oxygen or what Ethan said. "You can't."

"We did," Malcolm spoke while rubbing my back. "It's already been decided."

“Hollow souls is my band!” Trey finally got the upper hand over Chase and pushed him away.

When Chase went back to choke him out, I desperately reached for his arm to pull him close to me. I was a distraught mess, and I needed them.

"Three to one motherfucker, you’re out!" Chase held his head high.

Ethan stepped between us while motioning to Trey. "Get your shit packed up, there's a cab already waiting for you."

NOAH

"Do you guys hear that?" Folio said while leaning over his bunk so he could look at me upside down. "It sounds like someones fighting."

I shrugged while pulling out one of my headphones, pausing my music. "Maybe Jolly's watching a movie too loud again?"

"Nope," Jolly leaned down in front of my bunk. "It's coming from Hollow Souls bus."

Scrambling out of my bunk, I pushed passed Jolly to run out of the bus in time to see Trey loading his bags into the back of a cab. As if he could sense me, he threw a dark laugh my way.

"Hey prick! Are you happy now?"

I shrugged with one hand in my worn out blue and white star shorts while the other hand threw up the peace sign and turned my back to him to leave. I made it all of two steps before Trey's voice called behind me.

“I don’t know what the fuck you see in her, anyway!”

That made me turn swiftly on my heels to flip him off. "Every thing you didn’t."

Once the cab drove off, I turned towards Hollow Souls but to see Y/N standing on the last step. Her eyes were red and puffy, hair a disheveled mess from her running her hands through it as some strands stuck to her face because of the tears.

Fuck, I was supposed to be made at her because of our fight earlier but seeing how broken she looked made me want to wrap my arms around her.

"Noah," she choked on my name through sobs. "I-I'm-."

Stay strong. You can't fold because a pretty girl is crying in front of you.

But-.

No buts. She told you whatever you wanted to happen, wasn't going to. She doesn't love you.

"Noah, can we talk," her bottom lip wobbled. "Please."

I shrugged with my hands still deep into my pockets. "Seems like you said everything you needed to say."

As much as my heart was screaming for me to go back, I kept walking towards my bus knowing that I had to get ready; Bad Omens set was starting in less than an hour.

NOAH

"Thanks Seattle! We hope you stick around for Hollow Souls! They're bound to put on a killer show!"

With a final wave towards the crowd, me and the guys ran off the stage just in time to see Malcolm and Chase looking frantic.

"What's wrong with you two?" Folio questioned while wrapping a bandaid around his pinky.

He went a little too hard on the drums tonight and somehow ended up slicing his pinky pretty good.

We all knew that Hollow Souls was panicking since kicking out Trey because not only did they lose their screamer but also their guitar player. He deserved to be fired, and it was a long time coming but now that the venom has cleared from the bands veins, they realized how fucked they were. While we were on stage tonight, I could see Ethan running around with his phone pressed to his ear, trying to figure out replacements.

"We can't find Y/N," Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head.

I nearly dropped the water bottle I was drinking as my stomach dropped out of my ass, heart beating a thousand miles a minute. "What?"

Malcolm ran a hand over his face. "She spun out, man. After you brushed her off earlier, she took off saying she needed some space. She left her phone on the bus and hasn't come back. Chase spent the last hour looking for her. We don't know where she is and we still have to decide what we're going to do about the last few shows."

Jolly squeezed Malcolm's shoulder. "It'll be alright. We'll go look for her."

"No," I shook my head. "You guys stay here, I'll go find her. In the meantime, your guitar tech knows all your songs, right?"

Chase nodded. "Yes, but how does that help for the screams?"

"Nick, have your phone by you so I can call you when I find her," I said, already working my mind on places she could be.

I pointed to Folio next. "You and Jolly head back out on stage to throw out some sticks or guitar picks. Anything to distract the crowd."

Before the doubt could stop me, I barreled through the back door of the venue, the cool air brushing over my heated skin as I looked to the left then to the right.

Where are you, angel?

Suddenly, I remembered something from one of her old live streams she did last year. A fan asked her where she liked to go when she needed time to think.

"Oh, thats easy," she answered with zero hesitation. "The rooftop of the venue were playing or the rooftop of my apartment. I love looking out at the vastness of the city almost like I'm Zeus staring down at all the other demi Gods."

My feet traveled faster than my brain did as I ran around back, quickly finding the ladder that lead to the rooftop. I climbed with ease and reached the top in a matter of seconds, eyes scanning for the long hair that I dreamed of.

There.

Sitting on the ledge with her head in her hands was Y/N, body shaking with sobs. I approached slowly, not wanting to scare her.

"Angel."

She hastily rose to her feet while wiping away the tears. "Noah? How'd you find me?"

"I remembered you said you enjoyed sitting on rooftops; almost like you're Zeus."

Through the tears and pain etched in her face, the briefest of smiles poked through until she remembered everything that happened a few hours ago. Even through the mess of make up, knotted hair, and blotchy skin, I wanted to grab her face to crash my lips to hers.

"I was an idiot," she sobbed. "I should have believed you about Trey but I was so blinded by the lies he spewed. Everything was a lie. He never loved me and I knew I never loved him."

As much as I wanted to talk, I decided it would be best if I stayed quiet so she could let everything out.

"He was the venom inside of me, draining me of my light and soul. I let him do that; let him change who I was. God, I'm so stupid!" She covered her face with shaking hands. "I can't believe I believed him over you!"

"Angel," I said again in a soft voice.

She either didn't hear me or didn't bother to stop. "You know, deep down I knew he was cheating. Where the fuck does he disappear to all the time? But I stayed with him because I thought no one would want me with what's wrong. I'm broken, every part of me unfixable, and Trey made me think no one would want to spend the money or time."

Y/N kept rambling on, not letting me get a word in, so instead I pulled her into my embrace, hand resting on her back while she buried her face into my shirt, gripping ti with all her might.

"I'm so sorry. I should have believed you. I'm such a fucking idiot."

I laid a soft kiss to the top of her head before tilting her chin up towards me. "You're not an idiot, angel. You said it yourself, you were blinded by who you thought Trey was."

She sniffled as I wiped the tears away. "But you never lied to me; there was no reason for you too. I said some hurtful things to you, Noah. I don't understand how you could ever forgive me for that?"

"Water under the bridge," I shrugged with a light chuckle, hoping it would ease the mood.

It didn't.

"I don't want to lose you, Noah. I can't lose you." She sobbed again.

I cupped her face this time, forcing our gazes to lock. "You won't. I forgive you."

"Wh-what?" She stammered.

"I forgive you, angel."

Earlier this afternoon, I hadn't planned on forgiving her this soon. But I suppose one step of my maturity is how seamless it was to accept the apology. Usually, I'd sit there, let the person ramble some bullshit I knew wasn't true. However, now, I sat up straight when I looked into those eyes, those eyes I felt deep in my gut weren't lying. She truly has been conditioned, like some kind of Stockholm Syndrome and I understood all too well what that was like. I lived that for years-desolate.

Seeing Y/N crying, broken, and afraid of losing me for the choices someone else made, I decided I would not be a boy. I was a man, a grown man, one of little words when I couldn't stop overthinking. However, I decided that communication was key; it's what gotten the band this far.

I was going to be a man, a man she deserved to have in her life; no matter what it cost me.

"You do?" Y/N peered up at me through lashes. "You don't, I don't know-hate me?"

"No," I said firmly, hands still gripping her face.

Her wet eyes sparkle with the setting sun. "Not at all? I-."

"Stop, angel. Stop," I stood taller. "I will not lash out at you to get even. I'm not going to make you get on your knee's and grovel either. We had an argument, discussed the situation. You apologized, I forgave you, and we made up."

"Just liek that?" Y/N wondred.

I brushed a kiss across her forehead, breathing in her scent. "Just like that, angel. I'm not him. I see the road ahead of me and I choose to take the high one."

Her grip on my hips tighted, almost afraid I would change my mind and walk away; never in a million years could I walk away from her. We were connected so deep, our souls would fade to the earth benethe our feet if we were to lose one another.

"Well, I must confess Noah; this is all new to me. I'm letting my guard down to let you in. I've been trying to sleep at night to avoid this thing between us, whatever the hell it is. You're the one at the foot of my bed trying to keep me alive at night."

My heart damn near soar so high into my throat, I was afraid I'd choke on it.

We stayed like that for a long few moments; me rocking her softly in my arms, until reality struck causing me to switch from my embrace around her to linking our fingers together.

"Come on, you've got a room full of fans waiting for you," I tugged her along.

"Shit," she cursed. "How the hell am I supposed to explain to them what happened to Trey?"

The corner of my lips lifted in a smile. "Well, think of something."

READER

"Hey, Seattle?! How are we feeling?" I spoke into the microphone.

My throat was raw from all the crying I'd been doing that I could barley speak, let alone sing.

The crowd cheered wildly, ready to watch Hollow Souls perform. It didn't even bother them I was still dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and a matching crop top sweater.

"Well, unfortunately Chase, Malcolm, and I have some news," the crowd's cheers went dead silent as I pointed to Chase on one side of me and Malcolm on the other. "As you can see, Trey isn't on the stage with us. Because of personal reasons, he's no longer apart of Hollow Souls."

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop from the streets outside. I swallowed my nerves, forcing myself to continue with what I knew I had to say next.

"So with that being said, we as a trio have decided to-."

Suddenly, loud cheers and applause reverberated in my ears as I watched Noah run onto the stage, holding up a hand in the air.

"Excited to see me again, Seattle?"

I blinked at him, confused why he was on stage again. "What are you doing?" I mouthed.

"Well, it seems like Hollow Souls need a fill in for tonight?" Noah briefly ignored me to continue speaking to the crowd.

This time the screams were so loud, I was sure some glasses broke on the bar in the back of the room.

"If it's alright with my beautiful friend here," Noah smirked at me. "I'd love to fill in. We've got your guitar tech filling in for Trey."

I then saw Mike, our tech, give me a small wave. Everything was happening so fast, I barley had time to register Malcolm stole the microphone from me. "Yes, Noah I accept. We would love your help for tonight."

As he walked past me to prepare himself to fill in, I placed a hand on his stomach. "Thank you."

He brought the hand from his stomach to his lips, pressing soft kisses along each knuckle. "Anything for you, angel."

Holy shit. I thought Hollow Souls sounded amazing with Trey but I was wrong; so fucking wrong. Noah was something I never thought I needed; personally and professionally. They way we sang together, the energy palpable. It was nothing like I ever experienced with Trey. The way Noah and I connected with our vocal ranges, hell even our fucking souls were connected that much I knew. But as Noah screamed out hte last line of our final song, I swallowed hard when those scary, unknown feelings hit me.

I love him.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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neteyamslovrr · 1 year

Text

WRONG TO WANT YOU - PT 1

summary: ever since you stepped foot onto the land of his clan he couldn't help but feel drawn to you. everything about you he craved. but he couldn't have you. not while his son called you his.

contents: 2.2k words, fem!sully reader ,WARNING suggestive themes!! 16+, cheating, alcohol, fluff, angst, fluff, partying, depression, age-gap

authors note: AHHH im so excited to post this i've been in such an insane writing slump and just feeling gross in general so i'm glad i got this out <;33

(reader is 21 and tonowari is around 40. when they came to the clan she was 20 so they've only been there a year!! all characters aged up)

The village was lit up. Cheers and instruments filled the aura as many men and women swayed their bodies together dancing. The elders sat in their corners chatting away as the children ran around playing tag. It was a night of celebration, an Akula had been hunted, a feed for the village that would last them for weeks.

Tonowari stood proudly looking over his clan. It had been a long time since he had seen the clan in such joy since the fight. It had been such a long time since his clan faced the sky people, yet the fight still laid in the back of each of the peoples minds.

The Sully's had made their way perfectly into the clan. Their blood lay with their ancestors, they were Metkayina. And you. Yes you. Were Metkayina, which laid gently in Tonowari’s heart.

Ever since the first day you arrived on the beach with your forest family, Tonowari could not keep his eyes off you. Your peculiar frame and thin tail and arms intrigued him. It'd been years since he'd ever looked at a woman like that.

You were Jake Sully's eldest daughter, a hunter of great precision and skill. You weren't to be messed with. Yet you also moved through life with a strong sense of kindness. A warmth in your heart that made Tonowari's heart flutter, even when he begged that it didn't.

Neither of you could deny the lingering looks you shared. The way each of you would mindlessly look for each other in a crowd. The way each of you would sleep at night imagining the other in their arms.

He knew it was wrong to want you like that. To want you as a mate. A forest Na'vi...a woman so much younger than him. So kind and full of life yet faced with war. He knew that wanting you would cause trouble.... especially when he found out his son had managed to court you.

You remember so perfectly the moment you felt yourself regret being with Ao'nung. The Metkayina prince had treated you so well.... He’d been kind, caring and such a gentleman. But at that moment he was none of those things, and you wondered if he ever was in the first place.

You'd been on a walk, the sand you had found became quiet comforting to feel against the balls of your feet. The sun was much warmer in the reef, like a comforting hug that embraced you every moment the light shone.

You were on your way to find Ao'nung. The man who had taken your heart so stealthily without you even realizing he had taken it until your chest beat and cheeks warmed up whenever he would be around you. The man who had promised his loyalty to you. The man who had lied to you.

Every step you took a sexual sound grew louder in your ears. Every sultry moan that erupted from the couple hidden behind lush bushes made your heart pound faster. It was fear. Heart dropping to your toes as your fingers shook. Shaky breathes. In…Out…In…Out. The feeling of nausea swirled in your stomach, as if your growing emotions were bashing on the walls of your body.

Closer you walked until the bushes were merely a slap to your pride as they hid nothing about the infidelity you had witnessed. It was as if your voice had been stripped away from you. No sound came out even if you wanted to scream in anger, throw daggers through the hearts of the couple ahead of you.

Ao’nung’s face shot up from the place it resided between a Metkayina woman’s legs. The sex-drunk look on his face not disappearing away quick enough for him to even think of begging for some sort of merciful action.

A frown so deep it may as well been etched into your skin. Shaky hands pointing at the perpetrator of the assault on your heart. “How…could you?” The words were broken and cracked off your tongue, wobbling away from the scene as your back hit those same bushes that taunted you earlier.

“Y/N….please just listen” He couldn’t try and find an excuse. And quite frankly he couldn’t have been bothered to find one either. This wasn’t an accident. No, his head dipping in between the legs of another woman was incredibly intentional.

“Don’t ever-” Your voice broke as sobs tried desperately to crawl their way up your throat, scratching every nerve and muscles within you. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

So that’s how you ended up shitfaced at the clan’s gathering. Wallowing in your sorrows and indulging in the incredibly strong affects that the purple silky liquid held in the carved cup in your hand had on you.

It seemed wrong to dance, a time of celebration when all you were doing was mourning your heart and cursing your naïve nature. Oh how stupid you were. How idiotic it was to think he could ever commit when he was so immature…so cruel.

Sitting on the scratchy log had become much to boring for your intoxicated mind. Instead opting for a walk. Yes, the comforting walks on the sand. That is exactly what your miserable-self needed right now.

Tonowari’s eye never left your clumsy figure. Not like they ever had. His stare always followed you when he could afford it. But right now so did his legs as he took his curious steps towards your path of choice.

He was no stranger to you and Ao’nung’s relationship. Meaning he was no stranger to the stupidity of his son. Tonowari punished the boy greatly, but he could never deny whenever he yelled and felt his heart surge in pain. It was because he couldn’t stop thinking of you. How you must’ve felt. The heartbreak you must’ve endured. It broke his heart.

Steps grew larger as he saw your figure leave the party, taking its stroll towards the rocky shelves of stone that resided on the further side of the shore. Seeing your tripping figure and feet dragging across the floor made him speed up in fear of you hurting yourself.

Maybe it was the alcohol he had indulged in that allowed himself to go after you. If this was a sober night he would’ve stared at you until your figure was out of sight. Only to fantasise more about you as he tucked himself into his lonely cot and dreamt about having you there with him.

But he wasn’t sober. No not tonight. So his legs stride towards your figure that had mysteriously already gotten so far in a short amount of time. Must be an Omatikaya thing. To be so agile.

His broad and huge figure approached you, immediately making you panic. Why was the chief…the very very attractive chief and father of your ex approaching you with such determination. Heart pounding, ears tingling as the cup of alcohol was discarded onto the rocks, making a soft clank sound as it rolled down onto the sand below you.

His walk was full of power. Arms swaying as his clothing adornments perfectly decorated his detailed body. His stare was something else. Determination and concern swirling in his eyes as he came closer into view. His hair blowing ever so softly in the wind it revealed his tensed jaw, squeezed shut as his nostril flared inhaling and exhaling before he came to a halt in front of you. “Why is a young woman like you not partying with the rest?”

Eywa, pray for you. Thinking such dirty thoughts about him. Your leader… his father. But his voice was like velvet, so soft and smooth it engulfed you whole as you dissolved into mush. “ ‘m obviously sitting here.”

Tonowari frowned at your obvious intoxication, you hiccupped after every second word, the sentence slurring into a jumble as you gave him a look of feigning innocence. “I sense that you are not telling the truth.

“Are you calling me a liar?” You asked, eyes sharpening as you stood up on the step, still having to look up to him. If someone were to look directly behind Tonowari they wouldn’t even realise you were there he was so huge. “ You’re the one who raises liars!”

It was a pitiful shout, one that would make someone frown in discomfort at the misfortune of the one in front of them. Which was the exact expression of the man in front of you.

“You’re not a liar…” Tonowari let out a sigh as he looked down at you. His arms tensing as he refrained from engulfing you in a warm embrace.

“Such- such a liar!” Your drunken ramble turned up a notch as your brows knitted together upset as tears welled in your golden eyes. “Liar! He’s a liar- A cheat. He cheated! A cheater!” Words sloshed together as you tried to hold back the soft sobs that were begging to escape the jail of your mouth.

Tonowari pulled a tight lip frown as he nodded. “I know...I know” How badly he wanted to cradle you in his arms and shush your cries. But even if he was inappropriate and irresponsible, he is still the chief, and you’re still his son’s ex. But he’s also hopelessly in love with you.

“You don’t know! He’s your son!” Now faint punches were being laid onto Tonowari’s chest. He didn’t move, you had no were near enough strength to crumble his stance. “He- I- why?! Why did he do that? Was I not good enough? Huh? Not prestigious enough for an heir to your throne.”

Tonowari let out a breathy “No- No of course not!” As he shook his head violently. The punches to his chest grew stronger.

“Then WHY?!” Your drunken state was obviously impacting your emotions. If you were sober you would have never even talked to Tonowari in the first place. “Why w-was I not good enough? Why her and n-not me?”

And that’s when you collapsed. Falling into the chief’s chest and strong arms in a fit of tears. Chest heaving as sobs racked through your ribs. If it weren’t for the loud sound of the waves crashing against each other then your wails would be carrying through the entire village. Tonowari got rid of all the restraint he was holding as you fell into him. He squeezed you tight. Not daring to let go as his large hands patted down your hair soothingly.

“Shh…shhh it’s alright” He tried to quiet your cries as you continued to shake in his hold. Lip quivering as you snotted and cried all over his pectorals.

You could say nothing else, your brain did not have the capacity to conjure a single thought. The wind was cold, the alcohol in your system making your skin increasingly sensitive to the world around it.

“I think it’s time you rest. Hm?” His hand glided its way up to hold your chin delicately in his fingers, a soothing thumb wiping your tears. You could only hum in agreement as his strong arms took you in and lifted you up.

Nuzzling into the warmth of his chest, you continued to weep. Not even quite sure what you were crying about any longer. His touch was nothing but comforting. Heart buzzing in your chest as you looked up to see his loving gaze staring right back at you.

Tonowari decided to not cause a huge stir in the clan and take you to his hut instead of your own. Avoiding the clan and avoiding the chaos that would ensue in one seeing a pair so wrong behaving like this.

Laying you down on his cot, he crouched next to you. Looking at you in his bed, even if it was not the scenario he imagined in his mind a million times, it was still enough to make his heart flutter.

You mumbled incoherent words as Tonowari stumbled across his hut, still drunk, making sure you would have the most restful night of your life. Laying a weaved blanket upon your body he kneeled beside you once again to brush the hair out of your face, enough to see the way your eyes were fighting their way to stay open to stare at the handsome man above you.

“Stay.” It was a quiet mumble, a drunken confession as you gazed into his shocked eyes. “Please.”

Tonowari’s expression was clear. He was fighting his own morals and standards. Fighting his mind and his heart. And his heart won…well the alcohol did.

Defeated, yet still celebrating. Tonowari laid in the cot beside you. His arms engulfed you, taking in your whole frame as he moved you on top of his chest. He was so muscly yet so soft.

Humming in content your tired and drunk self managed to fall fast asleep on the older man’s chest. Quiet snores filled his ear as his hand caressed the small of your back.

This was a problem for future Tonowari to worry about. But right now, he had the opportunity to hold you close, and hold you tight.

His son had been selfish and lost you…it was time for Tonowari to be selfish and have you.

tags: @avatarkv @jakesullyfatjuicypeen @cyberfreaky @cinetrix @supercoolusernamesblog @gabrijelasworld @rebeccao03

everything taglist: @8resa @ilovejakesullysdick @neteyamsblog @live-laugh-neteyam @reyalvr @trashfox @darkacademictrash @scntfrhs @dreamyescapesfromreality @fanboyluvr @neteyamzmate @neteyamyawne @neteyamssbaby

thankyou so so much for reading reblogs and replies make my day!!!

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enmasae · 3 months

Text

Desire of the fittest - Part 2

Self Aware Genshin Alternate Universe - Guide AU (my own take on sagau)

Previous - Next

Warnings :

Adult content (such as violence, bullying, toxic relationships, cursing, angst, nsfw, and others) and yandere behavior (such as obsessive and possessive display)

Theories and lore informations

Since this is my take on an alternate version of Genshin Impact, I've taken the liberty to include elements that may not align with the game's lore but will make sense in this particular story.

Content : And they were roommates, Totally not illegal business meeting, Casual conversation between a pigeon and a dog, How to deal with your partner's ex

"-and that concludes our coverage of the catastrophic disasters currently happening around the globe. On a brighter note, it was recently announced that the renowned game Genshin Impact will explore new horizons to celebrate its 20th anniversary. Today, we have the co-creator and current CEO of Hoyoverse, Mr. Wei, to discuss this highly anticipated event."

The small crowd attending the live show applauds as the CEO makes his entrance. Despite being in his fifties, the man retains a well-preserved appearance under the studio lights, his bright and confident smile illuminating the room. He nods in acknowledgment to the camera and extends a handshake to the TV host, who accepts it. Gesturing for his guest to do the same, they both proceed to take a seat on comfortable sofas.

"Thank you for having me."

The host eagerly clasps her hands together and leans forward, keen to gather more information about the plans for one of the most popular games in its genre. Even with the passage of time, Genshin Impact continues to serve as a source of inspiration for many and boasts a substantial player base worldwide.

"Mr. Wei, we're delighted to have you here with us."

The company's CEO offers a gentle smile, his composed demeanor standing in stark contrast to the energetic TV presenter.

"The feeling is mutual."

Immediately delving into the topic, the host follows the interview script he was given, narrating the current situation for his viewers and initiating a conversation with his guest.

"Several years have passed since Genshin Impact's main storyline came to a close, leaving fans eager to uncover the reasons behind the event announced on social media. While virtual reality has been, indeed, quite the talk in the gaming community since the release of the new AETHERAL&LUMINUS technology, we're curious to know why Hoyoverse decided to enter the world of cyber technology. What led to such decision ?"

Aligning with the host's expectations, the man in his fifties softened his features, conveying a sense of sadness to emphazise his point.

"You may call it nostalgia but the team and I wanted to provide players with the opportunity to immerse themselves in the world of Teyvat one last time before the server's shutdown-"

"Boring..."

As the television screen dims, the ceo's voice fades into silence. Setting aside the remote, you find yourself drawn back into the embrace of your current companion, reveling in the affection he showers upon you. His lips delicately trace a path from your collarbone towards your throat, eventually meeting your own. As your eyes lock with his, you feel him whisper against your breath, anger kindled by your earlier statement.

"I allowed you to have fun with that descender, isn't that enough ?"

Maintaining eye contact, you seize his shoulder and skillfully shift positions, placing yourself atop him. Taking control, you lift his hands from your waist and secure them above his head. Aroused by the demeanor you display, he decides to let you to enjoy yourself and refrains from attempting to escape your hold. Savoring the moment, you slowly bring your face closer to his, allowing your lips to meet once more in a gentle union. As his lips moves forward to taste yours again, you assertively seize his jaw and unhinge it.

"Since when do I need your approval ?"

He escapes your grasp, emitting a painful cry. Clutching his jaw, he quickly realigns it with an audible crack and assesses its movement. Surprisingly, he doesn't appear overly shocked by your swift anger. He has to admit that he provoked it when he brought up your vessel. Well, former vessel, much to his satisfaction. He never held much fondness for the boy, believing he consumed too much of your time. He sighs while reclining on the couch, bringing you into a tight embrace. His gentle hand runs through your hair as he relish in the scent of your cosmetic products. While he remains unfazed by your unpredictable behavior, he doesn't hesitate to flatter you for forgiveness.

"You don't, but I appreciate when you consider it."

You dismiss his sweet words, recognizing them as mere attempts to please you, yet you accept them despite knowing him. He's an adept at manipulating others, appearing to have their best interests at heart while exploiting them. He creates an illusion of comfort and understanding, yet beneath it all, he harbors disdain for emotional displays. Even while knowing that, you prefer to believe in the distinctiveness of your relationship. You hope that he genuinely cares, even though your own feelings are uncertain. While you're not exactly friends, there's a sense of comfort in being your authentic self with him. Though not lovers, you find solace in holding each other during chilly nights, making the mutual loneliness less impactful.

Neither of you can define what you are in each other's eyes. That's why treating him the way you do comes more naturally, it spares you from overthinking.

"I'll play along, but only if you give me a little favor."

He notices the quiet sadness in your eyes but decides not to mention it. Smiling against your lips, he offers a gentle peck, silently seeking permission to go further. Forehead touching yours, he inhales your essence as you part your lips. Confident yet respectful, he explores your mouth at a measured pace, allowing brief breaks between the playful twirls of your tongues.

"Name it, and it'll be yours."

As you gradually pull back, you notice the man pouting, clearly yearning for the warmth you bestowed upon him. Although his clinginess strokes your ego and you enjoy feeling desired, it occasionally becomes irksome. The aftermath of the previous night speaks volume of how long it has been since both of you engaged in such passionate activities. Given your shared affinity for dominance games, perhaps it would have been wise to dial it down a notch.

"I want to be part of your project."

Instantly, the dark-haired man rejects the idea with disdain, his pout transforming into a disapproving snarl, and his nose scrunching in distaste at the mere thought.

"Out of the question."

Even if you saw coming this outcome, it doesn't prevent the surge of anger rising in your chest when he dismisses your request. In a swift motion, he seizes your forearm right before you could reach for the nearest empty alcohol bottle. While his hold lacks strenght, it effectively hinders you from shattering the glass against his head. Closing his eyes, he delicately brings your hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss on it.

"Losing you would drive me mad."

He might have intertwined his own existence with yours, yet, sometimes, it doesn't seem enough to keep you by his side. The intensity of your fascination for his domain unnerves him. While he had hoped for you to hold a similar affection for the present world you both inhabit, he acknowledges that these dying lands can never exude the radiance of Teyvat. Perhaps it was his error to entrust you with its care in his absence. He should have foreseen it. Even if you claim otherwise, he can only witness how your need for excitement is akin to theirs.

However, the issue resides within him, as he cannot bear witnessing the disappointment reflected on your face. With a sigh, the one who calls himself primordial release your arm and speak in a subdued tone, avoiding direct eye contact.

"Hypothetically speaking, if I were to allow you to blend in among them, what's in it for you ?"

In response to your silence, the man peeks in your direction, observing your bewildered, crunched-up face. Baffled, he lacks the time to react as you seize the hem of his partially unbuttoned shirt, propelling both of you upward. Guiding him to the rolling chair behind his desk, you swiftly pull him into it. Vaulting over the desk, you perch on its surface, placing your feet on either side of the chair's armrests, leaving him nowhere to run.

"You're joking right ?"

Seizing a knife lodged in the table, you extract it with a resounding crunch of the desk's wood. Positioning it beneath your partner's chin, his shaved face provides no shield against the blade. The man chuckles dryly, raising his hand leisurely to grasp the weapon's tip, casually creating some distance between it and his neck.

"Sadly, i don't do jokes."

Releasing the knife, you allow him to toss it aside, observing its slide on the floor and joining your collection of 'toys'. He rises from the chair and gently guides your back against the desk. His hands trace the contours of your body, scarcely concealed by the remaining clothes he didn't ripped apart. His touch eventually lands on your hands, leading them to his face. His colorless eyes delve into yours, restraining unspoken feelings in the air, akin to words on the verge of being uttered. Relinquishing your gaze, his lips caress your ears, whispering his anguish.

"Tell me why you're so eager to go there when you can stay here with me."

Running your fingers through his lengthy ebony hair, lazily gathered in a disheveled bun, you pull his head in front of yours. Removing the hairpin securing his hair, you let it cascade down, framing both of your faces.

"Freedom, Attention, Love, Entertainment... All guides are driven by their desires."

Your thumb glides down his lips, parting them and revealing the piercing on his tongue.

"I'm no exception, Phanes."

The ancient being chuckles softly, his laughter resonating deeply. He allows you to lead him towards your lips, his own already parted and eager to savor the taste of yours once again.

"We both know you're more than that."

While it's true that at times you remind him of those bastards, he can't fault you for it as it's in your nature to act this way. He just needs to make sure you never consider returning to your roots. Despite being the divine one of both, he'll gladly worship your entirety to ensure you remain by his side.

"My sweet partner in crime~, why won't you let me take care of you ?"

You know that if he was given the chance, Phanes would drive you to the brink of insanity day and night, ensuring you forget everything else but him. Unfortunately for the man, you're not interested in such fate. He won't be the one to stop you from pursuing what you want.

"If you truly cared for me, you'll let me go."

At your words, the primordial one rolls his eyes and deliberately collapses on top of you, relying on you to carry his weight. Despite his slender build, you struggle to pry him off from yourself as his arms hugs you close. Unfortunately, all you manage to achieve is getting his hair out of your face. As he rests his head in the crook of your neck, he examines the hickeys he bestowed upon you as gifts from the previous night. Relishing in the fact he has matching ones on his own neck, he yelps in surprise when you tug on his hair and push him to your right. He grunts and sighs, his palm massaging his scalp, irritated with your behavior.

"Oh, yes. Why didn't I think of that earlier ? Allowing you to dive headfirst into an unfair game specifically designed to trap and torture your kind will truly show how much I value you."

You chuckle at his sarcasm, then hop off the desk to head towards your belongings.

"And here I thought you couldn't be funny."

The gentle sound of your laughter coaxes a shift in his grumpy demeanor, replaced with a heartfelt smile. He takes pleasure in the melodic tones and reciprocates with a contented hum. If he were to pick a favorite sound, it would undoubtedly be your laughter, closely followed by the lovely way you scream his name in ecstasy. Yet, his grin quickly vanishes when he realizes what you're holding. Closing the distance in the blink of an eye, he tries to snatch the small device from your grip. You skillfully dodge his attempts, refusing to let him have his way. Seizing his hand, you twist it with a resounding crack, forcing him to drop to his knees.

"Isn't this fascinating ? That such itty-bitty trinket supposedly holds all the rights you wield over Teyvat. Must be so tiny because, you know, there's not much to brag about."

Having an idea of how you got it, he mentally scolds his shades for being too lenient with you. While you marvel at the tear-sized pearl, you remain oblivious to Phanes breaking into a nervous sweat. You might not grasp its usage yet, but he harbors no doubt that if he doesn't reclaim it soon, you'll figure it out eventually.

"I am the sole reason for Teyvat's current state. It's only thanks to me that those fools can enjoy their meaningless life."

He frees himself from your grasp, swiftly snatching back in place his wrist. Glancing up at you, he watches as you casually toy with the device, spinning it around with the chain and frame-like ornement keeping it secure.

"Says the one who prefers to live in isolation while 'his' world steadily erodes itself after each little 'cycles' you make it goes through."

Before Phanes can respond, a loud whistle pierces the air, catching both your attention and his.

"Man, they got you there."

As the primordial one sees one of his shades making himself comfortable on the couch, munching on some junk food he found somewhere, he groans in annoyance.

"Ugh, Istaroth, don't you have better things to do ?"

The man appears to ponder for a moment as he reaches the bottom of his snack bag. Upon realizing the absence of treats, he deftly snaps his fingers, causing the bag to replenish itself as if it had never been touched. Propping his cheek on his fist, he grabs a handful of snacks, shoving them into his mouth and chewing audibly. Observing the snack bag mysteriously being propelled toward the trash can, he hastily gulps down the remaining food, sighing in disappointment. Nonchalantly inspecting his nails, he brushes off the snack's crumbs, seemingly unfazed by the threatening glare from his boss.

"Apart from watching the two of you acting like animals in heat ? Not really."

While you prefer to remain clueless about how long he's been lurking unnoticed, you see that Phanes doesn't share your point of view. Gesturing angrily at his subordinate, his eyes betray a poorly concealed anger as his lips curls in disdain.

"First off, how dare you disrespect our privacy. Secondly, get your mind out of the gutter, we're not fucking, it's just-"

Phanes comes to a sudden stop, taking in the situation before him. With him on his knees, perfectly positioned to reach your pelvis, one could easily think he's about to give you a head job. You chuckle at the sight of him swiftly rising to his feet and hastily adjusting his partially undone shirt. The shade appears unfazed by his boss's embarrassment, having witnessed and heard far worse.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm not paid enough to deal with your abandonment issues."

The dark-skinned man reaches for a bottle on the floor but decides against taking a sip of whatever's left after some consideration. While Phanes busies himself searching for the remainder of his clothes, you saunter over to the shade in a seductive manner. As the divine being catches sight of your approach, he curses under his breath and feigns interest in the bottle in his hand. He flinches when you place your hand on his shoulder, while the other begins to caress his cheek.

"Hands off, sweetheart. I've got a keen sense of hygiene, and I know you didn't wash those hands of yours."

He swats your hand away from his cheek and pinches the other as if discarding trash, tossing it aside. You hum and flop onto the couch beside him, eliciting a grunt from the shade.

"Such perfect timing, Istaroth."

"With all due respect, which is none, screw you."

Glancing at the jewel in your hands, a mischievous impulse seizes you. Tossing the pearl towards Phanes, you watch as he dives to the floor to catch it, exhaling with relief upon success. With his head conveniently positioned at the perfect height for you to lift it with your bare foot under his chin, you compel him to look at you.

"Would you mind persuading your boss to let me do as I please ?"

Taking advantage of your momentary distraction, the primordial one signals to his shade to refuse, mimicking a throat-slitting gesture. Despite being molded from Phanes' flesh, he lacks the soft spot his creator seems to have for you, preferring to keep a safe distance from your antics. Even if his boss were to order him to indulge your whims, he would most likely flat-out refuse.

"Hard pass, sweetheart."

You glance at the divine being sprawled at your feet, examining his little trinket for any cracks. You rise to your feet, causing him to lose his head support and bonk his chin on the unforgiving floor. As the pearl slips from his fingers and starts its daring escape, he's on it like a squirrel chasing a nut, scrambling to catch up. Unfortunately for him, you reclaim it before he has the chance.

"And here I was expecting you'll be the first to want me out of here~."

Istaroth tumbles on his fist and then reluctantly straightens up, a smile spreading across his face's features. Rising from the ground, Phanes approaches you. While his arms gently embrace you, his gaze remains fixed on the jewel you're holding.

"Wait a minute... You want to leave ?"

As his gold-like eyes sparkled with excitement, he might sound a tad too pleased to your liking but you'll gladly take whatever enthusiasm you can get. You firmly press your palm against the primordial one's face, preventing him from reclaiming the symbol of his authority. The sound of his nose yielding under your palm reaches your ears, evoking a high-pitched grunt from him, not that you cared. With determined strikes, you approach the shade, affectionately pinching his cheek as one might do with a child.

"Exactly ! How clever of you ! Good job on figuring it out !"

You grab his hand and swap positions, flopping onto the couch and sending him stumbling towards the god, who's still inspecting his crooked nose in a mirror after you intentionally crushed it. As Phanes shoots a disapproving glance at his subordinate without even turning his head, the shade doesn't get a chance to speak, only receiving a grunt of warning from his boss.

"Not. A. Chance."

With no further resistance, Istaroth raises his arms in surrender and turns around. Displeased with how quickly he gave in, you shoot him a disappointed stare as he flops back onto the couch next to you. Feeling uneasy under your accusing gaze, his eyes avoid yours, darting away.

"Listen, sweetheart. If he didn't listen to you, he certainly won't give a shit about what I say."

Every gaze converges on the desk when Phanes' phone, emitting a distinctive ringtone, disrupts the room, prompting a weary sigh from you. Despite your expectations that he would have gotten rid of it by now, it becomes evident that the voicemail you recorded for him long ago still remains. A cringe washes over you as you hear your own voice trashtalking Phanes to answer the call. Istaroth appears equally displeased, emitting a grunt and burying his face in one of the couch's pillows.

"-fucking bitch ! You better pick up your goddamn phone if you don't want me to shove it down your throat and making you gag like the slut you are-"

A breath of relief escapes you as the deity declines the call upon checking the caller's identity. Unfortunately, the relief is short-lived as the persistent dialler triggers the ringtone once more, demonstrating a fervent desire to speak with Phanes. Having no intention of talking with this particular individual, he forcefully crushes his own phone, ending the incessant ringing. Tossing the damaged device into a nearby bin, he gestures towards his personal notebook to remind him he will need a replacement. Istaroth grumbles into the pillow, clearly irritated but reluctantly acknowledge the directive.

"Noted."

With a tilt of your head, you silently inquire for more information from the god. Phanes, in response, takes your hand and gently guides you to stand, initiating a comforting embrace. Creating a bit of space between the two of you, he delicately retrieves the jewel from the tips of your fingers, all the while maintaining an unwavering gaze with you.

"Don't you fret about such a thing, [Name]. As for your heart's desire, let me take a little while to think it over, and I promise to return with a delightful response just for you. In the meantime, I must have a talk with Istaroth. Would you be a darling and wait for me outside? It won't be long, I assure you."

Skeptical, you emit a doubtful hum, not entirely swayed by his sickly sweet display. Contrary to his anticipations, you don't put up a fight and merely leave the room with an nonchalant wave of your hand. As the appartment's door closes, Istaroth rolls onto his back, casually inspecting his nails as he typically resorts to when boredom sets in.

"Perhaps, it's time for you to let them go."

Regret floods Istaroth swiftly as his blood begins to congeal within his veins, causing him to gasp for breath and emit painful grunts. Collapsing from the couch, he struggles to lift his gaze towards his creator, his vision blurring with the intensity of his suffering.

"And I think it's about time you remember your place. Don't delude yourself into thinking that I've forgotten how you used to help them sneaking around with their ex vessel while I was looking the other way."

The shade gasps for air, sensing his body liberated from the torturous grip Phanes had on it. Coughing, his fist clenches as he swallows down any words that might further sour the mood of his creator. Over time, he has grown indifferent to such torment, losing the will to care or worry about his condemned immortal existence. While there is no hope left for him, there's still a chance for you to embrace the freedom he yearns for. Unknown to the primordial one, he is determined to help you achieve that.

"On the subject of discussion, I better mention this before it slips my mind."

Kneeling down, Istaroth keeps his head bowed, concealing the faint smile playing on his lips. Don't waste the opportunity he's granting you, because even he recognizes that time is running thin.

"Asmoday got killed."

Upon learning the demise of one of his shades, Phanes seizes his subordinate by the neck, pulling him up to his own eye level. Hindered by the contrast in height, Istaroth struggles to breathe, his feet flailing in the air as his creator seems to blame him for the distressing news.

"And by who ?"

Baring his teeth in response to the pain he endures, Istaroth chuckles drily as he struggles to breath.

"I believe- that the fourth descender- actively searching his lost guide within our quarters- is enough of an answer-."

A heavy silence falls upon the room, the air thick with tension. Istaroth's feeble attempt at breathing gradually fade as his creator's grip tightens around his neck. Shortly after, the only audible sound for the shade becomes the echoing reverberation of his own heartbeat in his ears. With adrenaline coursing through him, he looks in horror at the wide and contemplative eyes of his master, engulfed in anger prompted by memories from a distant era. An abrupt gasp resonates as the shade is released, collapsing at Phanes's feet. His heart pounds wildly, eyes wide with fear as his body trembles under the lingering tension.

"You're fired."

As the apartment door slams shut, Istaroth gradually allows his nerves to settle.

"Hourray... vacations."

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

　　　. 　　˚　　　　*　　　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦

"Well, look who it is ! The one and only [Name]. Still on a leash, I presume ? I guess some things never change."

Glancing at the dame lounging on your left, flaunting her arms on the rail, she grins with a wickedness that could make gods blush. You emit a dismissive grunt and slump against the fence, both hands shielding your eyes briefly before giving your face a vigorous wipe, as if hoping to erase her existence. Unfortunately for you, she has no intention of leaving you be. Even though you wish you hadn't, you've mastered recognizing her bewitching crimson gaze, no matter the vessel she assumes. Before you stands Valefor, one of your fellow guides fueled by an insatiable thirst for power. It's not that you despise her more than the others, she's simply an unnecessary pain in the ass right now. Given her impatience, you opt to ignore her until she decides to leave on her own. No need to make a fuss over someone undeserving of such attention.

"Come on, lighten up ! That's not how you should treat your best friend~."

After a nudge from her elbow, you grab your drink and navigate the mezzanine alongside the fortunate few selected players. The sight of their camaraderie before the competition sickens you. Guides, by their very nature, don't blend seamlessly. They never have, possessing too much pride for such alliances. True friendships among them are scarce. Typically, collaborations are brief, driven by mutual benefits before one inevitably betrays the other.

As you weave through the crowd, you notice flickers of recognition in the eyes of some attendees, coupled with hushed comments. Despite the revival of unpleasant memories under their scrutinizing gazes, you maintain your pride, holding your head high. You don't hesitate to reciprocate their side glances, forcing them to avert their eyes. As you head toward a more secluded area of the reception room, you notice Valefor trailing after you, engaging in a few greetings with others along the way.

"Wait- Listen, I really need to talk to you, alright ?"

You sigh at her persistence and come to an abrupt stop, causing her to bump into you. Seizing her wrist, you pull her into one of the VIP rooms and throw her inside, making her stumble before finding her balance. Unfolding a small piece of paper, you ignite it, strange symbols manifesting in the air with a golden hue. Running your fingers together, you cast a brief glance back at the frozen crowd before shutting the curtains of the room. Valefor watches in amazement as the curtains defy the laws of physics, their movement ceasing once you release them.

"Time stopping, uh ? Neat. Is it a little trick from one of your newfound friends ?"

Settling onto one of the cushions, you take a sip of your drink and dismissively ignore her comment.

"I was told by Istaroth that you were advised to maintain a low profile. Guess it was too complicated for a meathead like you."

Taking residence on a couch opposite you, she flops onto it like a toddler and begins playing with the electrical device that allows the couch to transition from a sitting position to a reclining one. Despite of the unsettling noise, you only angrily sip on your drink, at least for now. You're confident that someday you'll get the chance to annoy her in return.

"I'm a guide, I do things my way. Anyway, the little birdie didn't say much about what all the fuss is about."

After finishing your drink, you spit out a small gem resembling a pearl but shaped like a tear, retrieving it from your tongue. At this sight, Valefor mutters a quiet "gross" under her breath before recognizing what you're holding. As you place it on the table, the guide shifts position, perching at the edge of the couch with a broad smile on her face.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit. You're fucking nuts, you know that ?"

You're not crazy enough to snatch the real deal from one of the most powerful gods and keep it for yourself. The little act you staged earlier was merely a ruse to make him believe you'd attempted to steal it and coax him into doing what you wanted. Unfortunately for him, you knew he'd never give in to your demands. That's why you had Istaroth retrieve it for you, but from a far away future. And this is the one you're showcasing now, although she doesn't need to be privy to that detail.

"Phanes expects me to follow his rules, but I couldn't care less about what he wants. So, here's the deal. I'll hand over the little trinket, and in return, you use it to send me to Teyvat."

Doubtful as she should be, or you might have lost all hopes for her, she squints before bringing her face closer to it for a better look. When she glances back up at you, she raises an eyebrow, sensing that something is amiss.

"Why not just use it yourself to get there directly?"

You scornfully scoff and regard the jewel with disdain.

"You think I haven't tried ? It recognizes the one trying to use it, and unfortunately, it only listens to that slut. Even Istaroth couldn't get it to submit to him."

From what she knows, you're more of a whore than he'll ever be, but she refrains from mentioning it.

"And what makes you think I can when not even a shade could ?"

Well, you didn't have much of a choice to begin with. Even though seeking help from one of your kind implies you've hit a low point, you won't allow her to mock you.

"It's a bit of a gamble, but I figured someone with your abilities could tame this little thing. Or is your desire for power nothing more than a joke ?"

As her eyes twitch, you know you've won. There's nothing more effective than challenging a guide to get them to do what you want.

"Deal. But I'd like to ask a question before."

Intrigued about what she might ask, you tilt your head slightly as a silent approval for her to proceed.

"At the very least, was he good in bed ?"

A smirk plays across your face. You hate to admit it, but he's got some skills when it comes to giving pleasure. Not that you'll vocalize it, though.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

　　　. 　At the same time 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦

In one of the storage rooms within the same complex building, an elderly woman joyfully dances to classic hit that was popular in her time. Unfortunately, her little dance session is abruptly interrupted when a star-shaped portal unexpectedly materializes, tearing through the fabric of reality and remaining open long enough for its creator to tumble into the small room, dislodging multiple boxes in the process. Having served as a janitor for the company that owns the building for quite some time, she has grown accustomed to the unusual events that tend to unfold, allowing her to remain unfazed by the recent occurrence. With a frown directed at the spilled cleaning supplies, she removes her large music headset and exhales in mild irritation.

"Really ? This is the end of my shift."

The woman with platinum hair grunts in pain as she slowly rises, her eyes fixed on the prominent wound in her belly, her hand barely covering it. Growing irritated by the raspy voice of the janitor, she flicks her hand, silencing the elderly woman's chatter. The janitor's eyes lose their spark, becoming dull and lifeless, even though she's still breathing.

Limping her way out of the storage room, the injured woman curses under her breath. She loathes the fact that this puny descender caught her off guard, and she vows to ensure it never happens again. But for now, her priority is to get to Phanes. She needs to warn him that a greater threat is looming.

"Asmoday, don't you look terrible."

Disregarding her fellow shade, she attempts to walk past him, only to be halted by a hand on her shoulder. She hisses in pain and bats away Istaroth's hand, her golden eyes cautioning him not to mess with her, even in her weakened state. With an expression of utter disgust, he wipes the blood from his skin, staining his handkerchief, then meticulously inspects his nails for any lingering traces.

"Not that I give a shit, but you might want to consider changing styles. Let's be real here honey, red just ain't your thing."

Not in the mood to get caught up in her colleague's petty quarrel, she limps down the corridor, leaning on the wall for support and leaving gory and bloody marks in her wake. Hearing a snap of fingers, she grunts as she finds herself back next to Istaroth. Noticing the choke marks on his neck and the burnt skin causing his veins to protrude, Asmoday returns the animosity with a venomous retort.

"Have you seen yourself, asshole ? You look like shit that has been stepped on."

The shade dismisses her comment with a shrug as he gazes upward, the corridor lights flickering as if on the verge of fading completely.

"Well, that's what happens when you piss off our big guy upstairs."

Feeling a bit unsettled upon learning their master's sour mood, Asmoday glances at her fellow shade, puzzled about why he's acting like it's the best day of his life. It's been a while since she's seen him so genuinely joyful and carefree, almost seeming out of character. As he looks down at her while she coughs up a little blood, she can feel shivers going down her spine. A cheerful Istaroth is an unpredictable one.

But beyond fear, it unnerves her to see the typically grumpy god sporting such a crappy grin.

"Oh, please. You really thought he'd cut you some slack because you decided to wake up with a dick between your legs ?"

"And yet, you believe that playing the obedient lapdog will save your ass. I wonder who's the delusional one here."

As he peeks at one of the watches on his wrist, his smile tightens slightly. Confused about what he might be expecting, Asmoday's senses sharpen as the building begins to rumble. Glancing at her fellow shade, she realizes it's not just any ordinary earthquake.

"You didn't, you fucking pigeon."

Assuming a fighting stance, Asmoday grits her teeth to push through the pain as more blood seeps from her wound. It's solely due to her powers that she can still draw breath after losing so much fluids. Despite knowing she's not capable of defeating him in her current condition, even with his own bruises, she refuses to meet her end at the hands of a treacherous traitor like him.

"Oh, but I did. Though you're giving me too much credit. I simply distracted the infatuated fool with a threat he couldn't overlook."

The wounded shade struggles to comprehend why he would betray them after all this time. While she understands his disdain for Phanes and anything associated with him, and acknowledges that time holds no significance for him, she still wonders why he would sacrifice everything for you.

"Why go such lenght for them ? They're just a guide."

Istaroth's smile dims slightly as the lights in the corridor begin flickering once more. Glaring down at Asmoday, the shade shows no hesitation as he has already made his decision.

"You see, as for now, Phanes believes you're six feet under. Wouldn't want to disappoint him, now would we?"

With a snap of his fingers, Asmoday collapses to her knees, gradually turning to ashes with a betrayed look in her eyes. Brushing off the remaining dust from his pants, Istaroth hopes that she'll appreciate the scene reminiscent of Hiroshima back in 1945. He hadn't anticipated her survival after what that descender did to her, she's definitely tougher than she appears. Snapping out of his thoughts, he stumbles as the entire building trembles once more. Chuckling, he rejoices in your success.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

　　　. 　　A little earlier　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦

Inspecting his bloodied weapon, Aether pays no heed to the bodies of the guards who attempted to halt him. Displeased with the fact that the weapon you blessed him with is dirtied by the blood of nobodies, he proceeds to meticulously clean it. Though not entirely satisfied with the results, he glances at the neon loosing their brightness. In the darkness, he assumes a fighting stance, prepared to slay anything in his path.

As the lights flicker back to life, none of the guards' bodies remain to the eye, only the slender figure of the man, seemingly waiting. The cold neons accentuate his thin face and well-nourished black hair flowing along his body. His silver eyes, almost devoid of color, scrutinize him up and down in a judgmental manner.

"You should not be here."

With chills coursing down his spine, Aether takes a step back and tightens his grip on his sword. With just one sentence, Aether realizes that he's facing something far greater than the shade he fought to reach this point. Even if Aether can feel he's at a disadvantage, he's not one to back down. Unfortunately for him, he fails to grasp that this man isn't merely annoyed by his presence in his domain. For he had become the target of all the primordial one's frustrations and anger, he should consider himself lucky he's still able to breathe.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

In the midst of preparing to strike, Aether is stunned by the sudden disappearance of his sword. Startled, he lifts his head to find the man's face mere inches from his own. With a defiant tilt of his head, Aether faces the towering man head-on. Swiftly reaching for a spare knife at his belt, he lunges forward with his weapon. Yet, he staggers forward as the blade slices through empty air, the man vanishing in a blink. Surveying his surroundings, Aether notices that all exits have vanished, leaving the room illuminated solely by a solitary neon light above. Alert, Aether startles as a cold whisper brushes against his ear, sending a shiver down the blond boy's spine.

"You could hurt yourself."

Glancing back, Aether takes a close look at the necklace adorned with a small jewel around his neck. Unable to shake the familiar feeling he gets from the man, he scrutinizes his features while searching for any apparent weakness.

"You remind me of someone."

The man scoffs, straightens his back, and puts some distance between him and Aether. While he kows that the descender is simply dragging out the conversation to buy time, Phanes decides to indulge him. Being quite picky about his conversational partners, he isn't normaly the type to engage in small talk with his enemies. However, he supposes he can make an exception for this one.

"Humph, do I ?"

Left with no more weapons to spare, Aether clenches his fists and attempts to think of a way to breach his opponent's defense. Sometimes, nothing works better than a little provocation.

"I know they're here. And I need to talk with them."

"Oh, you won't, not on my watch."

Aether charges towards the man, poised to strike him down. Just as he's about to land a blow, the man dissipates into black sand upon impact, causing the descender to tumble and fall to the floor. Confused as to why the tiles has transformed into the same sand the man turned into, the blond traveler is left in shock as the scenery completely changes. Emerging in a boundless black desert bathed in the light of three moons against a starless sky, he fights to regain his footing.

"How did it feel ?"

As the man's voice echoes through the air, Aether begins to panic, finding himself getting pulled into quicksand. Unfortunately, the more he struggles to escape, the further he sinks. The moons high in the sky appear to mock him, as if he's to blame for his predicament. Taking a final breath before being completely submerged, the descender has no time to react as he suddenly falls into what seems like an endless void. However, it isn't truly limitless as he swiftly touches the bottom, landing on his back.

"To be unwanted."

Gritting his teeth together at the pain, Aether refuses to give up and strengthens himself once again. Observing the new scenery, his eyes widen upon seeing you in the distance. With his first step, a crack forms at his foot and extends towards you. As he starts to run in your direction, shattering the stone-like floor like thin ice, you only move farther away, leaving him alone in this hellish environement.

"Not good, does it ?"

With the temperature rising, the floor finally gives up under his weight, causing him to fall once again. Using his broken wings to somewhat cushion his fall, he manages to land on his feet.

"I get it, you know. Out of all, I might be the one closest to understanding what you're going through."

Observing the fire ravage the lands around him, a strange itch stirs within him as he starts to recognize the scenery. It's an itch he cannot scratch, only indicating that something is wrong. As screams resonate, he remains paralyzed, unable to break down at the sight before him.

"Nowhere to call home."

He witnesses his sister weeping over thousands of corpses, her gut-wrenching screams breaking his heart. Before he can take a step in her direction and call out to her, her head unnaturally snaps 180 degrees. Under Lumine's hateful glare, he begins to notice the clammy sensation on his hands, his horror growing as he realizes they are smeared with blood. He shuts his eyes tightly and pounds his head repeatedly, desperately trying to convince himself that the man is merely toying with his mind.

"You know, it took me a while to discover what was going on."

Upon opening his eyes, Aether discovers that he is now bound to a chair, the furniture itself constricting his hands behind his back. Before him, Phanes lounges in a comfortable seat, casually playing with the shattered intertwining of fate that symbolized the connection between you and the renowned traveler. Upon realizing this, the descender struggles against his restraints. Yet, as he attempts to vocalize his desire to reclaim it, no sound escapes his mouth.

"They hid you well. However, once the secret was out, all they could do was to plead on your behalf, begging me to spare your life."

Seeing that his captive had much to express, Phanes impulsively snaps his fingers, only to regret it instantly as Aether unleashes a furious scream that pierces his ears.

"You're the reason they abandoned me- !!"

The primordial being hastily snaps his fingers once more, brushing his forehead to alleviate the headache induced by just one sentence. Truly, this descender possesses the ability to irritate him like no one ever has, and he considers himself a patient man. Disregarding the claims of the blonde traveler, he dismissively waves his hand, prompting the furnitures to move out of his way as he approaches Aether.

"No, no, no, no, I didn't do anything. You see, I merely allowed them to toy with you. Ultimately, it was solely their choice to discard you."

Watching Aether squinting his eyes, revealing his lack of faith in the god's words, Phanes laughs mockingly at the sight. It's pitiful to see the descender place so much trust in you, as if you could truly be concerned with his well-being. Despite the man's assertions, Aether believes there must be a valid reason why you had to leave him, which is why he is determined to find you. You wouldn't have casted him aside simply out of boredom, would you?

"There's much about guides that you seem unaware of... Quite surprising, considering where you come from."

Feeling the release of his restraints, Aether is abruptly pulled to his feet as the room is swept away by an unknown force. Upon opening his eyes after the wind dies down, he finds himself up in the sky, with floating pillars adorning the scenery. As the setting evokes memories of the place where he first engaged in combat with the sustainer of the heavenly principles, a bad chilling sensation runs down his spine as something seizes his shoulders.

"You're free to believe me or not, but I understand how difficult it is to live in someone's shadow. First, your sister, then, [Name]. Perhaps it's time for you to learn how to be yourself."

As the god takes a melancholic tone towards the end of his words, he snaps out of whatever memory he was recalling. Aether, still unable to move on his own, observes a door materializing out of nowhere before swinging open, emitting a bright flashing light.

"Whatever, who am I kidding ? You never learn from your mistakes."

Stepping aside, Phanes waves with a slight fake smile on his lips.

"Oh and, you might want to start running."

Glancing behind him, Aether witnesses the stone slabs breaking and tumbling down. Rising to his feet, he makes a run for it. With his wings shattered from his previous journey that was intended to be the final one, he can only rely on his legs to reach the door. Leaping through it, his consciousness fades away.

'Resetting complete'

...

{Words : 7387}

Heya, finally i managed to post part 2 ! Sorry to keep you all waiting. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did while writing this.

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@lilisette24

#genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #yandere x reader #yandere genshin #yandere genshin impact #genshin x reader #Istaroth #Phanes #Asmoday #Creator x reader #Aether #Aether x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #self aware genshin #self aware au

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