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spencermyangel · 2 years

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one where Spencer finds out William isn't his bio dad and he was actually a product of rap3. Maybe after he finds out one of the team says something rude about babies born from rap3 and Spencer gets upset, and that's how the team finds out.

CW - Rape, Rape resulting in pregnancy.

A/N - this isn't made to tell anyone who has experienced these things how to feel. Though I do agree that people born from rape are not evil or bad.

“It doesn't make any sense! It says me and dad aren’t related,” Spencer paced back and forth in his mother’s room.

Diana silently watched her son, sadness in her eyes. She had always feared this day.

“Spencer, baby. Sit down,” Diana told him.

Spencer did as he was told, still clutching the envelope from some DNA test he had done.

“Am I… am I adopted?” Spencer quietly asked, looking at his mother with sad eyes.

“No,” Diana assured him, “you are my biological son… you’re just not William’s.”

Spencer’s eyes widened, “who is he? My dad?” he asked, voice wavering. “Is he still alive? Why isn’t he in my life?”

Diana hesitated, considering lying to Spencer. But she didn’t believe in lying to your kids and Spencer had a tendency to dig and discover the truth. She sighed, deciding to ease Spencer into it, “the reason your biological father is not in your life is because he is in prison.”

Spencer’s eyes widened, “wh-what did he do?” he stuttered, voice unsure and nervous as though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Diana took a deep breath, “he was convicted of numerous rapes and two murders.”

Spencer paused, “how did you find out what he did? I mean, was it when he got arres-'' Spencer cut himself off at the look on his mothers face, and the truth dawned on him. “No,” he whispered with tears in his eyes, “he didn’t, you weren’t…” Spencer stammered, not wanting to believe his mother had been hurt in this way, that he was a result of this horrific act.

Diana nodded, “I was. But Spencer, from the moment I first held you in my arms I loved you, I knew how special you were. You’re my son and I would never undo what happened because I got the greatest angel in my life from it. Do I wish you had come along in better circumstances? Of course. But sometimes the most beautiful things can come from tragedy and pain, don’t ever forget that,” she told him, holding his face in her hands and looking into his eyes.

A few months later, they were working on a case which involved a father and son rapist and killing duo. The son was a result of his father raping his mother. When he had turned 23 he had discovered the truth and had tracked down his father, who had been released from prison. He finally had someone who understood his urges, in the form of his father.

Emily scoffed in disgust, “Imagine bringing that into the world. It’s basically a guarantee that they're going to be evil, and follow in their fathers footsteps.” She threw down a photo of the mother and crossed her arms.

Emily’s words pierced through Spencer’s heart, but what hurt worse was how none of the others stopped or corrected her. He stood up abruptly, startling the team and bolted out the door, tears streaming down his face and his thoughts running wild. He wasn’t inherently evil because of how he had been conceived, was he?

He headed to Garcia’s office to hide, sitting in a spare chair and grabbing one of her stuffed animals she had and sobbing. Moments later he heard the door open.

“I thought you might be in here,” Garcia’s soft voice said, “do you want to talk about what got you so upset?”

Spencer pulled the teddy away from his chest and stared at it, blinking away his tears. Should he tell Garcia? What if she also thought he was evil and wrong? He looked up into Garcia’s concerned eyes. No she wouldn’t, he tried to reassure himself, Garcia is too sweet for that.

“What Emily said, about babies born from rape? Do you think she was right?” Spencer asked, avoiding Garcia’s eyes.

Garcia sat back, shocked by the question. “I… I don’t suppose they’re all bad. But maybe they have an inclination towards violence?” she said, unsure, she didn’t really know.

A stray tear fell down Spencer's cheek and landed on the soft teddy. “Do I?” he finally asked, looking up, his eyes wide and scared.

“What?”

“Do I have an inclination towards violence?” Spencer asked, more firmly this time but sadness still tainted his voice.

“Why would you?” Garcia questioned, confused.

“Because I was,” Spencer whispered, turning his head away again.

“You were what?” Garcia leaned forward, placing a hand on Spencer’s leg.

“I was born from rape,” he finally forced himself to say the words.

Garcia’s jaw dropped. Spencer, her baby genius, was a result of rape? It didn’t seem right, that someone so sweet could come from such a horrible act.

“Garcia?” Spencer’s soft voice interrupted her thoughts. She looked into his pained honey eyes, seeing the kindness and gentleness in them.

“No,” she answered firmly, “Emily was wrong and so was I. You are your own person, who isn’t defined by who your father is.”

Tears softly fell from Spencer’s eyes and Garcia slowly took him in her arms. “You’ve done so much good, Spencer. Helped so many people, don’t ever think you are evil.”

They sat together for a while before Garcia spoke, “the team was worried when you left like that. We should go back and tell them you’re okay. You don’t have to say why you were upset.”

“No,” Spencer told her, “I want to tell them, I want them to understand.”

They both returned to the conference room, the teams chatter dying immediately as they entered. They watched Spencer with worried eyes as he took his seat.

“I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly,” Spencer began to explain, “it’s just, what Emily said really upset me.”

Emily opened her mouth to speak, but Hotch held his hand up to stop her. “Let Reid finish.”

“It upset me because I am a result of rape,” Spencer’s voice broke at the confession.

Everyone in the room were in various states of shock. Hotch was trying to conceal his but his eyes showed his true emotions. Rossi and Morgan were looking at Spencer with wide eyes, unsure if they should say anything, and JJ had tears in her eyes.

“Spencer,” Emily breathed out, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know and even though I didn’t, I shouldn’t have said it because it’s not true. You’re not inherently evil and neither are other people born from rape. I was wrong and I truly am sorry.”

“She’s right,” Morgan spoke up, “you can’t help how you were conceived, you didn’t do anything wrong.” The rest of the team nodded in agreement, causing Spencer to slightly smile.

“Thank you,” he gratefully told them, truly feeling grateful his family still loved and accepted him, “and Emily. I forgive you.” he genuinely told her.

Emily let out a sigh of relief, “thank you Spencer,” she paused “can I hug you?”

Spencer nodded and she leaned over and held him tightly.

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#criminal minds #spencer reid #bau team #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss #david rossi #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #penelope garcia #spencer reid angst #hurt/comfort #diana reid #jeniffer jareau

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kamikiproductions · 11 months

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Why did you do it? Get Ai killed?

Hikaru paused. He opened his mouth a few times and closed it., genuinely caught off guard.

"Hey. Ai. Want to go out or something?"

"... I..."

"Honestly, I'm kind of surprised. I didn't think you were actually being serious- I thought you'd go to Hawaii to get an abortion."

"Ai..."

"I don't really mind or anything, but it's like I said back then. I don't really intend to raise it. If you need some money send me a text, but I guess that's it, then."

"I didn't want her to be anyone else's."

Hikaru was smirking. "Ai was one-of-a-kind. A shining gem in this world that nobody else could compare to. She was my only romantic partner, and vice-versa. An Idol belongs to her fans, right? So after we broke up, I didn't want her to belong to anyone else. That guy, Ryousuke-kun: I sent him after her so that she'd die, so I could say that I was the only one who go to see Ai in that way."

It was more of a full smile now. "... That's the kind of answer you want, right? Something like that? Or maybe something like, 'if she dies now she'll die still kind of pure, not like that woman, she can be preserved as this perfect memory forever.'"

"'I always wanted to kill somebody, but I was too afraid to do it.'"

"'We had a big fight when we were dating and it bothered me years later.'"

"'I was afraid of what'd happen to my own career if her pregnancy was leaked and people learned I knocked up my girlfriend when I was fifteen.'"

"All of those are the kind of answers you want, right?"

Hikaru Kamiki tossed a cigarette on the ground. "I dunno. Did I really need a reason? I mean, I know why those other people later, yeah. Because they were like Ai. But Ai herself?"

"I had this opportunity to kill one of the only people I ever cared about and get someone else to do it... and I dunno. I just did it. Maybe there's a little bit of truth in each of them. Maybe they're all bullshit. Does it really matter?"

"I did it. Nothing really matters beyond that."

I think it was in her eyes, though. Those eyes, filled with talent...

He wouldn't say that out loud ever, though.

#ic #anonymous #answered #about the muse #abortion cw #oh this was a good one

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waitingforwinterwinds · 1 year

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A Clash of Kings - 23 JON III (pages 321-341)

Jon and Co arrive at Craster's Keep, and finally get a lead on Mance Rayder and the missing wildlings. Gilly is unable to join the party... for now.

Dywen said Craster was a kinslayer, liar, raper, and craven, and hinted he trafficked with slavers and demons. "And worse," the old forester would add, clacking his wooden teeth. "There's a cold smell to that one, there is."

For half a second I thought "what does the cold even smell like?" then my brain clicked with a smell, and I was like, "oh right, like that, freezer ice and mornings where the frost is on the ground." But like, how do you actually describe the smell beyond the moments when you smell it? Because it's just "it smells like ice."

Also: Craster trades his infants sons to ice demons for reasons. fun! (disgusted sarcasm.)

As he rode past a lightning-blasted chestnut tree overgrown with wild white roses, he heard something rustling in the underbrush.

I don't know why that sentence stuck a bit in my head, maybe because we typically (so far) see golden roses and blue roses, relating to Tyrells and Lyanna, and some part of my hind brain is waiting for these roses to have some kind of relevance even if only symbolically. The imagery of it sounds like it looks cool though.

really need to get myself a print out glossary of house sigils...

"Tell him, wife. Tell the Lord Crow how well content we all are." The woman licked thin lips. "This is our place. Craster keep s us safe. Better to die free than live a slave."

...I get the feeling she already knows, but the Wall's too far and the world so unknown and they're all too afraid to do anything about their (grand)father-husband.

These woman deserve so much better. pfff, name of the series right there. GRRM's A Song of all these women and a good chunk of the boys deserve better.

A girl of fifteen or sixteen years, he judged, dark hair plastered across a gaunt face by the falling rain, her bare feet muddy to the ankles. The body under the sewn skins was showing in the early turns of pregnancy.

Gilly? Hi Gilly!

*adds weight to the steel chair soon to be acquainted with Crasters crotch and skull* we're gonna crack all the things >:(

"I'll not fight a brother while we're beyond the Wall," Jon answered, his voice cooler than he felt.

Oh hon, you've never been cool a day in your life, you just lucked out with an actor who mopes pretty.

Oh, wrong definition of cooler, ahem... moving right along! (I do like Jon, just sometimes I like teasing him more?)

Jon reached to pull aside the cloak he'd hung over the rock, and found it stiff and frozen. He crept beneath it and stood in up in a forest turned to crystal. The pale pink light of dawn sparkled on branch and leaf and stone. Every blade of grass was carved from emerald, every drip of water turned to diamond, Flowers and mushrooms alike wore coats of glass. Even muddy puddles had a bright brown sheen. Through the shimmering greenery, the black tents of his brothers were encased in a fine glaze of ice. So there is magic beyond the Wall after all. He found himself thinking of his sisters, perhaps because he'd dreamt of them last night. Sansa would call this an enchantment, and tears would fill her eyes at the wonder of it, but Arya would run out laughing and shouting, wanting to touch it all.

This sounds amazing, and I wish the show hadn't been made by a pair of asshats so we could have seen even a semblance of this. It's the quiet moments of beauty, the time to pause and breathe, that makes the horrors later all the more poignant and impactful.

"Gilly, he called me. For the gillyflower." "That's pretty." He remembered Sansa telling him once that he should say that whenever a lady told him her name.

Everyone likes to be told their name is pretty, or their hair looks great today, it's true. But also... "My Name is Rottila Phlegmuent." "That's pretty." Jon said, because Sansa had told him too, and she knew far more about what girls liked and courtesies than he did, so he'd trust her judgment on these things. "Really? Do you think so? No one has ever said so before. We'll be married at once!" "(＃°Д°)"

Sam's heart was as big as the rest of him, but for all his reading, he could be as thick as Grenn at times. It was impossible, and dishonorable besides. So why do I feel so ashamed?

Because you know she's in trouble, and you know you're not helping. The logistic of why you can't help mean nothing in the face of the fact that you aren't helping.

It's okay buddy, Gilly at least will be mostly alright. *sigh* this series...

"The wide world is full of people wanting help, Jon. Would that some could find the courage to help themselves. Craster sprawls in his loft even now, stinking of wine and lost to sense. on his board below lies a sharp new axe. Were it me, I'd name it Answered Prayer and make an end." ... "Craster is his own man. he has sworn us no vows. Nor is he subject to our laws. your heart is noble, Jon, but learn a lesson here. We cannot set the world to rights. that is not our purpose. The Night's watch has other wars to fight."

Mormont with the hard truths and hard to swallow pills tonight. (I'm choosing to read these in good faith.)

I don't fully agree with the first statement, only because I know about cults and how fucked up people's brains and beliefs (even in themselves) can get, some people need help but cannot get past their own psychological hurdles to help themselves with out the start from outside help. I wish more people could help themselves, I wish the ladies of Craster's Keep could help themselves. It doesn't end with removing Craster's head from his shoulders though. There's still the Cold Ones, the Others. The ladies can't stay there if they're trying to get away from sacrificing their sons. There's still the trip back south, through the cold, and any predators left in the woods, man or beast... to kill a man in his sleep is one thing, an active opponent? Completely different.

I do like Mormont's 'we can't fix the world, we have our own thing,' both as is but also in a transference of meaning kind of way. No one person or group can fix the whole world, we have to focus on what we can do, can fix, can change and do that, or nothing gets done. We focus and fix our thing, some one else focuses on and fixes their thing, and so on, and so on, and together we've fixed quite a bit before you know it.

Meanwhile the mystery of the empty villages has been solved! Mance has summoned the freefolk for reasons only he, the readers, and viewers know. (Mass exodus by any means necessary.)

#a clash of kings #a song of ice and fire #jon snow #a chapter a day reading #acok #asoiaf

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hadeantaiga · 2 years

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I truly despise the fact that some people are using the phrase "detransition" to apply to people who are still very much trans.

If "transition" in the context of trans people means "I identify as trans so I am doing things to affirm my gender identity", then I cannot interpret "detransition" in English to mean anything other than "I no longer identify as trans so I will undo all the things I did and become cis again".

But some of y'all, including academics, will lump together actual detransitioners who return to their cis identity in with anyone who has to pause their transition for any reason and it's so fucking invalidating; you're basically saying they aren't real trans people anymore.

Firstly, it's harmful to trans people who have to go back into the closet. Just because a trans man isn't safe and has to stop T and put a dress on and go by his deadname does not make him "detrans"! He is still very much transgender! He's just closeted! If we would have said "you don't need HRT or men's clothes to be valid" before he started transition, why are we invalidating his transness now?? Why are we claiming he has "stopped being trans" NOW? If he was valid before, he's valid now.

Like, if a trans person in that situation wants to use that word for themselves, go for it. I don't agree, but I'm not them.

The second group of people it hurts are those who stop HRT in general. Some trans people want to be on HRT temporarily to achieve certain effects, and then they go off it. Some people get pregnant. Some people have health conditions and can't keep taking their HRT. These people are also labelled "detransitioners", and it's a straight up lie. They haven't detransitioned. They're still trans. Again, why are we acting like once you start HRT you have to stay on it forever, or you're no longer a "real" trans person? Does a trans man who goes off T to carry a pregnancy revert back to being a cis woman for the duration of his pregnancy? According to the people who would call him a "detransitioner", he did!

It's invalidating, and in my opinion, it's wrapped up in transmedicalist rhetoric, and I hate it.

There are better words to describe this. "Cessation", "temporary suspension", "desist", etc, NONE of which imply the person has decided they are no longer trans and are going to undo their transition.

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loveforpreserumsteve · 4 months

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Love Grows (demon!Bucky and pre-serum!Steve omegaverse au)

IT DIDN'T EVEN take the weekend for Steve to make up his mind. It didn't even take twenty-four hours before he was calling Hodge. He had, after all, had a good month to decide what he was going to do and what he wanted. Not just out of his spouse, but for his and his baby's lives.

"We need to talk," Steve started.

"Kinda figured that much since you called," Hodge had chuckled, clearly not feeling anything coming from the omega on his side of the bond. Because if he had been able to feel it, he'd know that Steve was hesitant and nervous, but also a little relieved to finally have the courage to have this conversation.

"I think we should separate." Steve paused, waiting for Hodge's reply. When nothing came, he added, "Officially."

Unfortunately, Hodge clearly didn't get what he was trying to say. Letting out another chuckle, "Aren't we already? I mean, I don't think we could be any more separated than living across the country."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Steve had to physically reign himself in so he wouldn't say something too mean. "That's not what I meant. I'm talking about the first step to..."

Steve stopped himself. Could he actually get this out? Get the word out? It didn't seem that long ago that just thinking about the word in an abstract way was too much for him. But now? Well, he still didn't like the taste of it on his tongue.

"To... what, Steve?"

His heart was practically in his throat, threatening to strangle him. His husband was impatient and so obviously unaware of the situation that Steve was currently in. Still, he forced out, "Divorce." Reiterating, "I'm talking about the first step to divorce."

The other side went completely silent causing Steve to wonder if the call was dropped. But nope, it was still there. It took a total of fifteen seconds – the longest fifteen seconds of Steve's life – for Hodge to make any noise at all.

Nasty and cruel, Hodge scoffed, "Divorce? For what reason? You've clearly gone loony without me there if you think that this is a good idea."

"I have not!" Steve defended, growing angry rather than remorseful or even relieved. Boy! Watch out for those pregnancy hormones and deadly mood swings. "And you would've realized that this isn't the first time I've thought about this if you paid any attention to anyone other than yourself!"

"Oh, please! There's clearly someone badmouthing me –"

"I don't rely on others to make my own –"

"You just can't take the attention being on anyone other than yourself –"

"If you really think that, you're more deluded than I thought!"

"And you're more warped than I thought!"

"You know what, think whatever you want," Steve decided, completely disgusted that he could've ever been married – bonded – to someone lacking so much self-awareness. "But the only person that I'm doing this for is me." Marking over his bump in hopes to soothe the active baby, "No, correction! The only one I'm doing this for is our baby!"

"Will you shut the fuck up about, 'our baby'?! Because I'm starting to get real sick of –"

"Oh, don't worry! I'll never bother you again about them! As far as they're concerned, they never had a beta father to begin with!"

Hodge's voice rose several octaves, "THEY NEVER DID TO BEGIN WI–"

At that, Steve ended the call. He wasn't going to just stand there and allow anyone to talk to him like that, but especially not some wannabe actor whose career was going to flop faster than a bunny's ears! For crying out loud, who did Gilmore Hodge think he was?! Steve wouldn't even let his adolescent crush Zac-fucking-Efron treat him like that!

Knock, knock!

With shaking hands, Steve swung the door open. He was just about to let whoever it was have a piece of his mind. Didn't matter what they wanted. All that was in Steve's mind and body was –

"Steven, are you alright?"

Finding Peggy standing there with his morning vitamin shake and little vitamin cake, Steve tried to reign in that fury raging inside of him. Bringing his hand up to his chest, he felt the filigree ball hanging on the necklace down his chest.

"I'm fine," Steve fibbed.

Peggy didn't seem too convinced. Especially when she reached out to brush away some escaped tears from Steve's flushed face. "Dear, you don't have to lie to me. You really aren't that good at it."

Softly chuckling, Steve sniffled, "I'm sorry. I just got off the phone with Hodge."

"Oh no," Peggy sighed, entering the apartment. "It hasn't gotten between you two, has it?"

"No, it hasn't," he confirmed, closing the door behind her before following the older omega into the kitchen. As she made herself at home, Steve admitted, "I'm going to file for divorce."

Nearly dropping the glass and plate that she was holding, Peggy was utterly shocked. Perhaps Steve had hidden his recent disdain for the beta better than he thought. Better than anyone else thought he'd be capable of too.

"Quite frankly," Peggy recovered quickly, "I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner. You weren't matched very well."

"Haven't you ever heard that opposites attract?" Steve weakly smiled.

A small smile tugged at one corner of Peggy's red painted lips, "Yes. But that's not true for everyone."

"I guess not," Steve downed the sour drink. The baby seemed momentarily appeased as Steve ate the tiny cake in two bites. "Now I don't know what to do. Who do I call? Where am I – where are we – going to live? What's going to happen?"

"Darling," Peggy reached across the table to take Steve's hands, "You're going to live right here. It's not like Hodge is going to be here anytime soon and I know that Arnold wouldn't dare kick you out."

Steve nodded, relaxing back in his chair. Resting his hands on his bump, he was comforted knowing that Peggy was right. Uncle Arnie wasn't a bad guy, Steve knew that. He'd make sure that Steve wasn't out on his ass. Especially not with him expecting. Married to his nephew or not, Uncle Arnie wasn't cruel.

"On the other front," Peggy started. "I know someone who could help you more than I can."

Pulling a card out of her slacks pocket, she slid it across the table to Steve. Sniffling, Steve removed one of his hands from his abdomen and took the thick, expensive-feeling card.

"This guy knows what he's doing?" Steve asked, feeling Silas-or-Rosemary move around, probably trying to get more comfortable in their tiny womb.

"Definitely," Peggy assured. Standing from the table, she asked, "Would you like me to make you an appointment with him?"

"Oh, I," Steve paused, not knowing why he was about to decline the kind gesture. So, he gave in, "Sure. Why the hell not?"

Nodding, Peggy grinned over at him. She suggested, "I can even make you some tea, if you'd like." Now, this time Steve was definitely going to decline because she already did so much for him. However, Peggy could see that and quickly shooed him off, "You go and relax – it'll be good for the baby – and I'll take care of the rest. After everything you've been through, you deserve to have someone take care of you."

Despite how he had been raised and despite his pride in general, Steve decided to do as she said. Entering the living room, he could hear her talking on the phone, but didn't bother to try and listen. Instead, he laid down on the sofa and allowed himself to relax. After his conversation with Hodge and the emotional drain that the beta put him through, it wasn't long before Steve was snoozing. His hands cradled him bump, protecting the soothed pup and dreaming about holding them in his arms. Dreaming about Bucky holding them too.

Wishing all of you happy holidays! Much love and appreciation Minnie ❤❤❤

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nicklangfordmuse · 2 years

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“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.” (exes)

It's been almost a month since the pregnancy scare and it's been about that long too since Nick touched Katrina, in any way. But he's been a lot different since then, in terms of how he treats Katrina. When she wakes up in the morning, there's already food on the table. When she enters the bathroom, it doesn't look messy and slippery anymore. When she comes home from work to fold her laundry, they're already folded and stacked on the bed, just waiting to be stored in her closet. He was sure she noticed it too but she obviously noticed more than that. They haven't had sex in about a month and it was mostly Nick's choice.

One night, Nick came home thinking Katrina would be out. It was Thursday and she usually meets up for a book club that night so Nick thought he has the apartment all to himself. The boys were busy so he decided to buy a bundle of beer to drink at home. When he came in, he saw that Katrina was already half way through her wine bottle and just munching on chips on the couch with Friends on TV.

"Hey." She said in surprise, not really expecting him to come home this early. And with beer in hand since he usually goes out for that.

"Hey." He said back in a state of a similar surprise. "I...I thought you'd be out. Isn't it your book club tonight?" He asked.

Katrina shook her head, pressing her lips together as she wiped her hands clean. "Three people canceled so we all decided to postpone it." She explained, wondering what his reason is for being home too. "What about you? You're home...early." She said, eyeing down the bottle which Nick noticed.

Nick looked down at his pack and nodded along. "Everyone was busy so...I figured I'd take the drinks home. I'll just...head to my room." He was about to go in but he paused when he heard Katrina speak up, something he definitely did not expect.

"Care to join me, then? I'm not busy." She suggested, wondering if he was still in the mood of avoiding her. They can't avoid each other forever, especially since they live together.

It would be a mistake to say yes because Nick knew a certain conversation might be brought up but there's no way he could keep avoiding Katrina. It just makes the apartment feel weirder than they were still exes who bang whenever they wanted to. "Sure." He finally agreed, going over to the long couch beside her and putting his pack down on the table. Getting one bottle, he started drinking as he kept his eyes focused on the TV show.

"Chips?" Katrina offered, putting the bag of Lays in between them so he could get some. Nick happily obliged, getting a handful and alternating between the beer and chip.

For 15 minutes, it was just silence between them and the only words heard were from the TV. Neither of them knew what to say or if they should say anything at all. The silence was quite deafening and it's like both of them felt that, speaking up at the same time. They turned to each other and smiled awkwardly, like two teenage lovebugs having their first conversation.

"I wanted to thank you for...taking care of the apartment." She didn't want to say he was taking care of her because even he wouldn't acknowledge that. "It took some stress off my shoulders for a couple of weeks."

"Uhm...yeah. Sure." He said, pressing his lips together, knowing he needed to say something in return. "How have you been feeling...after...what happened?" He asked, refusing to mention the word pregnancy.

"Fine." She spoke initially. "It was just...a scare anyway so...if anything, my mental stability was affected the most but...I already got my period so I'm good."

"Now?" He suddenly asked and they both realized how that sounded so Nick felt his cheeks burn a bit which made Katrina laugh and shake her head. "Two weeks ago. I'm done for the month." She told him. Again, silence for a good two to three minutes before Katrina spoke up again. If he's bringing that up, she might as well bring up the aftermath too.

"Although, I would've felt...better if I got back some sort of normalcy in this apartment. I just had one of the most terrifying experiences I could have had and...you're just...avoiding me like what I had was a disease." She finally confessed.

Nick turned to her, knowing she noticed his change of attitude but he didn't think it affected her that much. "I wasn't...avoiding you. I just wanted to give you...space."

"Exactly how Merriam Webster would describe the word avoiding." She scoffed sarcastically.

Nick gave her another look. He wanted to clear his intention but he figured, he should be honest with it. "I got scared too so...I can't ever imagine how much more scared you were and...I thought if...I acted normally...I would be seen as inconsiderate of what you went through." He explained but Katrina just scoffed at him again shaking her head.

"I wasn't begging you to fuck me the day after, Nick. But I also didn't want you to treat me like a fragile package that should be handle with utmost care like...I can't fold my own laundry or cook my own breakfast. I certainly did not want to be avoided every two seconds in this apartment."

"Well, then I'm sorry." He said, putting the bottle down and turning his body to her. "I'm...I'm sorry...that I was starting to care about you again. I'm sorry that...I wanted to take care of you like before. I'm sorry that...when I first heard that you thought you were pregnant, my first thoughts were...how are you feeling or do you need to go to the doctor than some selfish thoughts like how this is gonna affect me. I was scared because I didn't want you to go through pain because even though I'd be here for you, I know you'd still be in excruciating pain for nine months. I'm sorry that...my feelings started coming back months ago and I didn't—."

"Don't you dare say that now." Katrina warned, realizing where he was going with this. "Don't you dare say that your feelings came back when you thought I was pregnant because that's just men think at first until it's time to be responsible and raise a child when we both can barely pay for this apartment alone!"

"It wasn't just when you thought you were pregnant, okay? It's been...months, Katrina. Months of...sleeping together. Missing out your favorite show to fuck in your bedroom? Ignore work calls in the morning because we're too busy banging in the kitchen? Lying about missing work because you had a fever and I wanted to stay home to make sure you were feeling better?" He reminded her, something that happened about a month before the pregnancy scare. "Skipping the only date you agreed to since the break up because you needed help assembling your new bed?" The list could go on and on but Katrina had to stop him here.

"Stop. Shut up. Just...shut up! Shut your mouth before I shut it for you!" She warned and the words just slipped right out of her mouth.

Nick was quiet for a bit, staring at her with so much affection— no, love. When he wanted to fuck her, it was affection. But now, it was just pure love. "Then make me. Because that's the only way you'll get me to stop listing all the days I was realizing I was falling in love with you all over again."

Katrina has had enough. That was the breaking point for her, knowing if he spoke more, she would just eventually admit that she too, has been falling back in love with him. Reaching forward, their lips reconnected and it's the most sincere lip locking they've done since breaking up. This is how they kissed when they were still together. There's this element of gentleness and peace, even when their tongues collided, it was the comfort she's been needing after that stressful day 27 days ago.

#verse: exes

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sirthisisa-wendys · 3 years

Text

Investigations (Part 6): Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.8k

tw: NSFW

masterlist

song recommendation:

"Mommy, you're getting bigger!"

The slapping of Kai's shoes on the wood flooring, his little body rushing toward you with his arms spread wide, is enough to make you forget the emptiness you felt like an ache in your soul.

"Kai, don't say that..."

Ran chastises him, coming through the door with the Paw Patrol bag slung over his suited shoulder.

"It's fine," you reply, squatting down to hold your son close. "He's just a kid." Ran doesn't respond. He just slides the backpack off his shoulder and shuts your apartment door, sitting it on the marble counter before walking around the fixture slowly.

"Packed five changes of clothes," he begins, ticking off his fingers. "Snacks and a water bottle. Some toys. And the books you wanted."

"Thanks," you whisper, unzipping the backpack to check if he made sure the clothes were matching this time.

"Y/n..." You sigh, feeling Ran's fingers slide up your hips and rest on your small bump. "You should really reconsider this. You're going to need help with the baby, and--"

"Ran." You don't face him; you can't look at his sad eyes. They're too convincing... Too alluring. You'd separated for a reason, not because you wanted to play coy. "We need to get through counseling before I can consider anything."

"I miss you." The words are like a siren's call to your heart, and you want to turn around. You want to hold him and kiss him and... But he'd just do the same thing over and over again. His lies would become more convincing, and you'd be in dire straits, all while sleeping next to a lying manipulator.

You decide the heartbreak isn't worth it.

"I'll see you on Sunday evening." Ran gets the hint. His hands slip away from your body and he says a soft "bye, champ" to Kai before walking out of the door.

_____________________________________________________________

You remember the day Ran came to get you like it was yesterday.

Cliche, but true.

He'd stormed into the little home Taiju had allowed you to remain in, his violet eyes blazing with anger and betrayal. Taiju followed behind him, yellow eyes apologetic and maybe even a little guilty.

"I'm sorry, y/n," Taiju whispered, hanging his head. "I--"

"Pack your things." Ran grabbed you by the wrist, yanking you toward the room you'd just emerged from, but you snatched it back, snapping,

"Fuck off."

In a split second, Ran had his hand raised in the air, poised to slap the taste out of your mouth without a second thought. But he stopped himself, remembering where he was. Who he was with. And who you were.

Taiju yanked you behind him in the milliseconds between Ran raising his hand and the thought of slapping you crossing his mind, full of fury.

"You can hit me, but if you hit her..." The threat stood between the two men, holding them apart with the promise of violence beyond your rashest fears.

"I want a divorce," you croaked.

Ran's eyes softened, and his mind flitted from the "I" to the "want" to the "a" and settled on "divorce".

"Y/n, please, I--"

"I want a fucking divorce."

The drive home with Taiju was the longest drive you'd ever endured.

And then you found out... you were pregnant. The timing couldn't have been worse. You only told Taiju - mainly because he would end up being the godfather due to the circumstances - but when you asked for a divorce, you had moved out.

Ran committed to helping pay for your apartment while you looked for a job, but once you found one as an administrative assistant to someone your family knew, you rejected any and all payments. Kai was shared between the two of you without a court order (you got weekends, he got weekdays), and you'd gotten used to living on your own for the first time in over five years.

And Kai... Kai hadn't understood why Mommy wouldn't be with him Monday through Friday. But Ran tried to explain it in soft tones and gentle hand-holding, and somehow it sunk in that Mommy needed to "work" and Daddy would do most of the caretaking while you worked hard for your independence.

But as the weeks passed, signs appeared, and Ran caught on pretty quickly with his methodical calculations and scrutinizing eyes. And when he found out you were pregnant and hadn't told him?

You sat through a half-hour-long, tear-filled speech that emphasized that Ran would be a part of the child's life in any and every way possible. Through that conversation, though, you agreed to marriage counseling. So... maybe it was good that he found out the way he did.

_____________________________________________________________

"Mr. Haitani, do you want this marriage to work for you or against you?"

"What kind of question is that?" Ran scoffs, crossing his arms.

"It's the kind of question that just might save you from being divorced and alone."

You can see Ran soften, uncrossing his arms and leaning his head on his propped-up hand.

"I want it to work."

"And Mrs. Haitani? Same question." When the woman turns to you, you feel something in your own heart crack, and for a moment, you think it's the pregnancy hormones that are making you cry. But you shake your head at yourself, wiping your eyes preemptively.

"I want it to work. For us. I don't want Kai to be without a father." A pause. "And I don't want to be without my husband." You don't see how Ran reacts because you're too busy sobbing into your own hands, feeling every single emotion you've held at bay come crashing down on you. But the large couch dips, and Ran places his arm around you, enveloping you in a hug as you weep.

"Then we need to rebuild trust before we can get to true reconciliation. Can I recommend something?"

"Please," Ran replies.

"Spend this evening just being honest with each other. Nothing distracting you two, just the two of you and your truth. Mr. Haitani, you need to be open enough to be honest and give her the answers to any questions she might have. And Mrs. Haitani, you need to do the same."

_____________________________________________________________

You're sitting between Ran's legs, staring at the crackling fire while he rests his large hands on your knees.

"Ask me anything."

The floor is open. The first question that comes to mind is:

"How long have you been in gangs?"

"Since I was thirteen." Seventeen years... This is a way of life for Ran.

"You've killed a man before." A statement, not a question.

"Many. But never for fun." You turn to look at him, and Ran looks down at you, raising his brows. "Never. And very rarely these days." South.

"Did you ever think about leaving?"

"All the time. The first time was when you and I got married. Then when we had Kai... then when you found out."

"And what's stopping you?" Ran thinks long and hard.

"It wouldn't make you trust me any more than you do now." You nod, quirking your lips to the left. That is true. "But also... I want to provide for both of you. I can't leave without some consequences. And we'd never be safe. But I can provide safety for us if I'm in power."

That is also true.

"Can I ask a question?" Ran whispers.

"Of course."

"Do you really want to divorce me?" You stare at the flames again, the answer very clear for the both of you. You just have to say it out loud.

"No." Ran sighs, dropping his head on your shoulder.

"I can't be without you." You lean your head on his and close your eyes, letting his lips press against your skin. "Please, come home."

"When we finish counseling," you promise. "I'll come home."

"Can you stay with me tonight, though?" You hesitate, but Ran cups your neck in his hand, whispering "please" into your skin and you give in. What good is it to fight the thing you want? To fight the man you need?

You kiss Ran with everything that you are, turning around to embrace him gently. You run your hands through his hair, tugging the short locks slightly as he lifts you onto his lap and kisses you deeply.

"Never leave me again," Ran pants, running his hands up your back. "Please. I felt like I could barely breathe without you."

"Never break my trust again," you reply, and Ran hums softly, littering kisses all over your face. "And I won't ever leave you."

Your lovemaking is slow and thoughtful in front of the fire, Ran's hands holding your hips with feather-light touches, and swiping your hair away from your face whenever he can't see your eyes staring back at him. It's this type of sex that Ran seems to take the most pleasure in... the closeness, the sweetness, the passion... it's all wrapped up in his soul, and he's pouring it out to you without words.

"I want you to be happy here," Ran grunts, stroking your g-spot with his skilled length and kissing the swell of your breasts at the same time. "With me."

You moan, and Ran opens his mouth to speak again.

"And I want you to be safe." He pauses, swirling a nipple around with his tongue. "And warm..." Ran's hands move from your hips to your face, and he leans down to brush his nose against yours. "And mine."

"You're all that I am," you breathe, and Ran's eyes light up, remembering the part of your vows you had said on your wedding day, which were completely unscripted.

"And you are all that I will be." His reply makes you arch your back upward, and you shake as he brings you to your climax, stroking all of the right spots and tending to your every need.

"R-Ran..."

"Shhh... Kai's sleeping. Don't want to wake him, do you?" Ran teases as your body clenches around his cock. "Gotta be quiet or-- fuck, fuck... Oh, my god..." Ran shudders, cumming inside of you with stuttering hips and fingers gripping your hands in his. When you both slow your pants and come down from your highs, Ran pulls you up and onto his body, leaning back onto the soft, plush carpet - and still inside of you.

You both stare into the fire, tangled and merged with one another by a red thread.

"I can't let go of you," Ran murmurs, and you look up at him in question. A tear tracks from the corner of his eye, and you swipe at it, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"You don't have to." You lay back down on his chest, trying to remain awake and relish this time with him, but you feel yourself slipping, falling, crashing into a deep sleep, one you've needed for a long time.

#ran haitani smut #tokyorev smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #ran haitani x reader #ran haitani

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some-cookie-crumbz · 3 years

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Askdjkl that one shot you wrote about Hawks and Fuyumi having baby fever was the cutest thing ever! Do you think you could write one where they tell friends and family they're having a baby?

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR A BUNCH OF REALLY FLUFFY NONSENSE AND PREGNANCY PUNS ANON BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS IS!!!!!

It wasn’t often that Fuyumi and Keigo were the ones to host the family dinners. Despite the fact they had a house just as grand as the Todoroki estate with ample room to entertain her family, since being released from the hospital and tentative amends being made, Rei adored being the one to host. Fuyumi and her brothers never pushed the subject because they knew it stemmed from her wanting to make up for the years the family lost. She’d missed the chance to be a mother to them for a long time - especially with Shoto - so she wanted to do all she could for them as adults. And, while Fuyumi didn’t have any personal experience with that, she could understand that feeling.

And she would have an even better grasp of it soon enough.

She smiled as she looked over the table, making sure for the second time that it was immaculate and the little centerpiece was dead center. It was one she and Keigo had pieced together over the weekend as a cute little nod to why they’d insisted on hosting this time around. It was a little construction paper bird’s nest with a little ceramic egg in the center. Gently cradling the little egg, Keigo had slipped two of his smaller feathers in, but had dyed one of them to be mostly white with little red flecks.

Fuyumi would be lying if she said she hadn’t swooned a little when she saw it.

“Bathroom and sitting room are all immaculate, babe,” Keigo hummed, arms slipping around her from behind and pulling her against him from behind. She giggled and turned to face him proper, eagerly meeting him for a few quick kisses.

“Thank you, love,” she hummed softly, giving his shoulders a small squeeze. “So, just making sure, our headcount for tonight is nine in total, right?”

“Ten. Both of us, both of your parents, your brothers, Natsu’s lady friend, Fumikage, Rumi and Moe,” he said. She nodded to herself, remembering that she’d picked up enough to accommodate that party size. She’d figured that sukiyaki would be a good idea. She’d almost forgotten that Natsuo had said Nezumi would be able to attend. Ever since they’d graduated from college, their work schedules at the hospital were constantly shifting. “I mean, technically there’s eleven but~!” he sing-songed at her.

She giggled and kissed his cheek. “I can tell you’re really excited about telling them,” she mused, glancing to the left slightly, “Given how fluffed up your feathers are getting.”

Her husband’s grin widened and he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. “Can you blame me? We’re going to have a baby! And we can finally tell everyone that matters!”

She giggled and kissed him again quickly, humming at the feel of his hands smoothing along her sides. “If you don’t get those wings under control everyone is going to know something is going on before we start dropping the hints,” she teased.

He huffed softly and nuzzled her again, his wings moving to curl around her as well. “I’m a pro at poker face, babe. Right now I just wanna enjoy this,” he murmured with a contented little sigh.

The two had been trying for a good couple months to get pregnant, deciding they were ready to officially start their family off. They’d met with professionals to discuss all the details regarding Fuyumi going off her birth control and what to expect following it. Fuyumi expected symptoms to be her first indication and to hit early on, as that had been how her mother’s pregnancies had all gone, but they didn’t realize until she took a pregnancy test. That had been three weeks ago and ever since the reveal, she and Keigo had both been on cloud night. Shortly afterwards, she’d worked to schedule the dinner with everyone so they could reveal it all at once.

It was hard given how many people in their lives were Pro Heroes or worked jobs with sporadic schedules but finally the night had arrived.

Fuyumi perked up when she heard a knock at the door, she and Keigo exchanging excited looks. “Show time,” he mused, pressing another kiss to her cheek.

She beamed before heading to the door, smiling brightly at Rei, Shoto and Fumikage on the other side. “Hello,” she preened, stepping aside so they could enter.

“Hello, darling,” Rei hummed, pausing to briefly embrace her daughter once she entered. The four of them settled into casual chatter as they walked to join Keigo in the sitting room. “Thank you both for having us this evening.”

“It’s our pleasure! You deserve a break from having to do all the cooking and clean-up afterwards, sometime,” Keigo agreed, his wings in their usual relaxed stance when he wasn’t on patrol. He and Rei also exchanged quick hugs before he grinned at Shoto and Fumikage. “Having fun now that you’ve both officially broken out of the sidekick slots?” he teased.

While he chatted up the younger two, there was another knock at the door. Natsuo and Nezumi were the next to arrive, followed shortly afterwards by Enji, and finally Rumi and Moe. The last couple arrived with a small bag as well. “Been a while since we’ve all gotten together, so we brought some of the good shit,” Rumi laughed, holding the bag up. Inside were a few bottles of sake with a label she couldn’t place in the moment.

“Thank you, you two,” she said happily. She escorted them to the sitting room where some passionate discussion between Keigo, Natsuo and Fumikage before heading to the kitchen to put the sake away for later. She then got started on cooking, smiling at the sounds of excitable merriment in the other room. The warmth in her home left her stomach fluttering with delight. She gently settled a hand on her abdomen and glanced down. “You’re going to be brought into such a lovely family.” she whispered before perking back up to resume preparing the sukiyaki.

She was almost done setting places and moving the spread of food to the table proper when Keigo poked his head in, still absolutely glowing. “Need any help with anything?” he asked.

“Just finishing up,” she hummed, indicating the place settings. In a matter of seconds, there were feathers skirting to and fro to complete the task. “Keigo!” she giggled.

“What?” he mused, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her in close. He leaned forward to press a few quick pecks to her temple. “I don’t want you having to do anything more than what’s absolutely necessary!”

“I’m not an invalid, Kei,” she mused, looping her arms around his neck and relaxing in his grasp.

Before he could open his mouth to offer any retort, Natsuo’s head poked around the corner. “Smells good; is food ready?” he asked with a sly grin.

Fuyumi blinked before snorting. “You’re such a grubber, Natsu,” she chided playfully as she moved out of Keigo’s grasp.

“But is that a yes?”

She rolled her eyes. She loved her brothers but sometimes they were just so single-minded. “Yes. Go get everyone else,”

The others were quick to follow him in shortly thereafter, their meal laid out before them all and playful banter starting up. “It smells like you’ve prepared this Kansai-style,” Enji commented with a note of pride in his voice.

“Not bad,” Rumi drawled happily, cheekily grinning at the retired Pro, “but not as good as Kanto-style.”

He scowled at that. “Are you daft? Kansai-style is a more traditional approach with a fuller flavor!”

“Certainly explains how you’re filling out your clothes more than you ever did as a Pro, Endie,” she teased back.

As the pair of them continued their back and forth, Rei’s eyes fell to the centerpiece nest. “Oh, did one of your students make that, Fuyumi?” she asked.

“No, we did,” she giggled, setting into her own spot.

“Since we’re expecting,” Keigo said, drawing the word out for emphasis, “we figured we should go the extra mile.”

The Todoroki matriarch smiled at them. “It’s a rather cute little piece, I will say,” Then, without another word, she turned to patiently break up the escalating argument between Enji, Rumi and - probably feeling left out of bullying the old man - Natsuo over the superior style of sukiyaki. Fuyumi and Keigo exchanged looks, silently agreeing that more hints would be needed.

They tried alluding to there being a bun in the oven.

Fuyumi mentioned them needing to repurpose a spare room.

Keigo made some comment about being in a family way.

Fuyumi suggested the idea of little feet pattering about their home’s halls.

But even with all these hints laid out… It seemed no one at the table was picking up on them.

Keigo pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily as they cleared the table together, their guests still settled at the dinner table and chatting amicably amongst themselves while they awaited dessert. According to some website she’d found, in America pudding was associated with being pregnant - for some odd reason she still couldn’t place - and had thought that would be a funny, cute little ribbon on top of the reveal present. “Well that didn’t go as expected,” he mumbled.

“Agreed,” she said, her own disappointment starting to trickle into her voice. She hadn’t really expected any of the men in her family to catch wise to what they were implying, if she was honest. She knew her father and brothers were incredibly intelligent but they weren’t always the best when it came to social cues. She had, however, thought her mother would pick up on it all. “I think we’ll just have to say it outright.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right. I mean, it’s not the most fun way to tell everyone you’re pregnant but it’ll get it out there, right?” he said with a reassuring grin.

She nodded as they picked up the little dishes of pudding, Keigo’s feathers carrying the ones they couldn’t handle themselves.

They reentered the dining room to another small squabble.

“You’re reading too much into things, Nez,” Natsuo said to the young woman beside him, her little mouse ears drooping slightly.

“Agreed,” Enji said with a small huff.

“B-But,” she trailed uncertainly before perking up at their return.

“I believe that Nezumi-San may have a point, actually,” Fumikage cut in, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes cracking open. All attention had switched over to him. “I mean, her arguments are valid and logical. Dismissing it all as a misinterpretation feels ignorant at best.”

Shoto opened his mouth to speak but then perked up when he spotted them returning. “Ah, perfect timing, you two,” he said.

“What’s going on?” she asked as she approached her parents to hand them their pudding.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Rei hummed, taking the little dish and setting it on the table. “Nezumi-Chan thinks you're pregnant because of the little nest decor you two made.”

“That’s not the only reason, though!” Rumi cut in, slapping a hand down on the table.

“Oh, and Mirko is also on her side,” Enji snorted.

“They’ve been making weird comments all night!” she barked back, ears twitching frantically in her irritation.

“Ah, yes,” Shoto chimed flatly, “because being aware of the usage of your living space is strange.”

Fuyumi blinked slowly, her eyes sweeping over to Nezumi. The poor dear looked so flustered by being the one to accidentally cause this little battle. Before she could offer any kind of comforting words to her, though, Keigo blurted, “Oh thank God at least one of you realized what we were doing!”

There was silence for a moment as all eyes turned to Fuyumi herself, most of them stunned but two seeming satisfied and one giddy.

Rei was the first to break the silence. “Fuyumi…? A-Are you..?”

She nodded, feeling the grin split up her face at everything finally coming out. “Yes, Mother. I’m pregnant,” she giggled, happy tears starting to prick at the corners of her eyes.

In a matter of seconds the older woman was scrambling up to embrace her with an excited squeal, nearly barreling the pair of them over. Rumi cackled in manic delight as she flashed Enji a crude hand gesture. Natsuo gave his girlfriend, who looked to be pouting, a quiet and sheepish apology. Moe got up to clap Keigo on the back while Fumikage and Shoto also got up; one to shake his mentor’s hand in congratulations and the other to hug his giddy older sister and mother.

Fuyumi and Keigo exchanged amused looks from the short space between them. They’d chalk the night up to a roaring success.

#crumbles grumbles #Huwumi #my fics #God I am SOFT for these two #They just hit on some of my favorite ship tropes!

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rue-bennett · 3 years

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Interesting point about promising young women in particular. If she really was raped and killed a bunch of men that were repsonsible lterally zero qualms about that type of film (check out revenge 2017). I get some of the overtones about female rage, and the cool girl monologue was on point.

overall, i feel like amy dunne is a representative of very lie about women me are afraid of. that a woman will lie about rape and abuse, that shell accuse you and ruin your life. they they scheme and lie and plot, and they they, like nick says, are the ones with power, to dole out judgement, when in the real world, men are the ones to control almost everything. especially using children and pregnancy as a weapon and a trap. theres women like this in real life, but i think calling amy dunne a feminist, or this a feminist film has the same energy as people unironically quoting fight club.

I think amy dunne is a cool archetype, but I still cant stand her, because even though she takes everything used to control women and opress them and use them to her advantage, she's the complete embodiment of the male imaginary fear of women.

Okay this is an incredibly interesting point and one that I actually agree with, I don't have much to add. I still like Gone Girl (and for the record, it's not even my favorite Gillian Flynn work for a variety of reasons but mostly probably because it's harder to sympathize with a sexist sociopath than with the average protagonist, whether it's a man or woman), but I definitely get this and see why this does play into male fears and fantasies and bullshit.

Oh, I would never call Amy Dunne a feminist and I think that Gone Girl distills feminine but definitely not feminist rage. Amy constantly belittles and steps over women and makes herself small to lash out. She hates men, but she expects the worst from them. Her hatred for women is never veiled (the "flying monkey" wives or whatever, just so much throughout) even at the beginning. I agree that it reeks of people unironically quoting Fight Club. I think they're both good fiction for what they are and are actually good to be consumed together because they're both absurd (though Gone Girl is grounded much more in reality, as you said) and extreme. It definitely gives me pause when people hold Gone Girl as this upper echelon piece of feminism when it never even pretends to be that. I know not everyone reads the book first but I distinctly remember some passage from Amy about how modern feminism is stupid.

But yeah...I think that these movies really need to be viewed in context. But I also think that they can be fun without being taken seriously, if that makes sense? I don't know, because it's so fucking contradictory. Like I can get into a movie that's problematic and enjoy it for what it is without thinking about the real world consequences of it and enjoy it but also recognize that it's like...bad. Like with all these movies we've been talking about. I don't think that adult movies need to teach morality but I do wish people had the common sense to figure it out on their own like we do, you know? Like I can watch Gone Girl or Fight Club (or the list goes on, but those two are the most obvious yet also two of the most consistently misinterpreted films) and enjoy it without thinking that it's...realistic or representative of real people. It's taking a bad feeling people have and amplifying it by a million. I don't know. I don't think there's one answer and I yeah. It's really fun to talk about but definitely complicated too because...there are so many dumb people and people who will take things at face value. I've learned to take things at face value in the moment (or else I wouldn't enjoy any movie ever) but also understand exactly all of what you just said. Does that make any sense?

TL;DR: Yeah.

#me: i don't have much to add #me: here's 5000 words just in case tho #gone girl #rape tw #abuse tw #asks #anonymous #movie talk #also i want to check out revenge because i saw it brought up a lot after promising young woman came out #but like idk if any of this makes sense i just!!!!!!!1 #*meta

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ladywinterwitch · 4 years

Text

Run Away (Eight- What You Gotta Do)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader

Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn't imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn't your choice anymore.

Warnings: A bit of angst, pregnancy talk, mentions of injuries, mentions of abandonement (mild), fluff, reader is still an emotional rollercoaster, cursing and swearing, smut, unprotected sex (too late for these two lmao), oral sex (f recieving), brief mentions of body insicurities, Bucky’s a puppy dog.

Words Count: 5289

A/n: Part eight! I can’t believe that I’ve actually come this far lmao. Plus, me posting stuff with less than 44827 years of distance with each other? A miracle. I always said that I would wrap it up at 10 chapters,but while writing this chapter I realized that I will need one or two extra chapters + the epilogue. We’ll see. For now I’m happy to be able to write lol. Series masterlist here, main masterlist here. Enjoy <3

ps: Chris’s look in that gif,,,chile

(gif not mine)

In the following week you saw Steve once a day, just to assure that he was doing fine. He wasn' sleeping in your shared room for the moment, but in a spare bedroom. You knew that you were probably being harsh with him, but you were so mad. It wasn't the first time that he did something stupid to try and save others. Hell, just think about that damned plane crash that put him in the ice in the first place.

You understood the reasons why, and basically everyone tried to talk with you and kinda 'sugar coat it' but the issue wasn't that you didn't understand: the issue was that he couldn't afford to think only about himself. Was it selfish on your behalf to think that way? Maybe. But you couldn't help it. You told yourself that it would've been different if you were just married, or just lovers. His decisions would've still been his. But now it's different. In less than six months he would've become a father. And that comes with responsibility. Wasn't he the first to tell you how important it was for you to put aside your job, for months or maybe even forever, just for the wellbeing of the creature inside you? That kid is yours just as much as he's his.

You and Bucky went out for a shopping trip that afternon. You would've asked Wanda, but she and Vision went to Clint's farm for a few days to see him and his family. Steve still had to be inside the tower, since he wasn't fully healed yet. You knew that he was watching a football game with Sam now, while Tony and Bruce were working on a new project, and Thor went to Asgard for a while to go check that Loki and Odin weren't at each other's throats.

You didn't mind Bucky's company at all. And in any case it wasn't like you felt like going out with Steve, not just yet. The brunette drove you both to the mall where he parked and then you went inside.

-So, what absolutely exciting and girly shops I have to visit today?- he asked while you curled your hand around his bicep. You laughed, looking up at him while you walked.

-Well, this mama is getting bigger every day, so I really can't wear my old clothes. I wouldn't even fit in them, and I can't go on with you guys' hoodies and t-shirts. I mean, I'm still a woman. Who said I can't look good while pregnant?- you responded, dragging him to a maternity clothes shop. As soon as you entered like half of the women in the shop turned to look at Bucky. You glanced at him and saw that he blushed and was looking everywhere except them. You bit you lip to not smile while you started to look around at the clothes. You made sure to engage in conversations with him to try and take the attention away.

-Damn homie, I think you just made those women regret their partners.- you said lowly so only he could hear you, and being a super enhanced supersolier, he did hear you very clearly. He snapped his head towards you with a look of disbelief on his face. His expression was so funny that you couldn't help but laugh. He looked around quickly then got closer to you.

-Stop it! It's already embarassing without you pointing it out.- he whined with a low voice. You stopped laughing but you couldn't help but smile, pressing your lips together.

-It's just so funny to me, because I understand these women. Turns out that pregnancy doesn't only make you sick, but also terribly horny.- you rose an eyebrow and he face palmed himself. You laughed again.

-Too much information, doll.- he groaned. You chuckled, putting in his hands a bunch of clothes. He caught them with both arms and followed you like a puppy to the changing rooms.

-Thank you kind sir, now I'm gonna see if they fit then I promise we're out of here.- you joked, hanging the clothes into the changing room. You closed the tent and he let himself fall delicately on one of the couches. He looked around while he waited but it turned out to be a bad idea when he saw the women from the various isles and even the shop's staff looking at him. He awkwardly smiled and then looked back at the closed changing room, sinking in his seat and covering the side of his face with a hand nonchalantly. He heard a few muffled giggles but no ne bothered him.

-Y/n are you done?- he asked, more embarassed than anything. Suddenly she pulled back the tent and started to gather a few of the garments in her hand. Bucky's gaze got caught on her figure. It was essentially the first time that she wore something fitting and not exaggerately large, so her belly was fully on display, even more so since she was turned to the side. The man felt a mix of emotions all at once and didn't quite catch the first time she called him.

-Buck, did you hear me?- he snapped out of it and stood to his feet, blinking a few times.

-It looks great.- he commented. You had on a nice flowery minidress, the sleeves were short and puffy, the square neckline showed just enough cleavage to remain classy, the breast area was tight but just below the skirt was soft and fell perfectly on your figure, showing the belly. You looked at him with a smile, chuckling slightly.

-Yeah, it fits well doesn't it? I'm getting these,- he gave a three dresses, two shirts, two t-shirts, two pairs of jeans and a pencil skirt to him, while she had other stuff in her own hands. -And I'm leaving these.- she sighed.

-Would you do me a favor? I'm dropping these off, meanwhile could you go to the pay desk? I'll be there in a sec.- he nodded and you thanked him while you walked away to the isles. Bucky walked towards the counter and dropped the garments on the desk, giving a quick smile to the girl behind it. He pulled out from the back pocket of his jeans the wallet and then the credit card, which was obviously Tony's, and put it on the glass above the counter. He waited a few seconds until the clerk, which was a nice girl with black hair and amber like eyes, spoke to him.

-So, how far are you guys?- she asked. Bucky almost choked on air at that phrase.

-Oh we- - he was about to say, but you arrived at his side and saved the situation. You smiled kindly at the girl and gave a pat on Bucky's arm.

-I'll be exactly of five months in a week, and he's more like the uncle than the father.- she tileted her head towards the brunette. The clerk smirked.

-Is he now?- she said rethorically. Then added, -That would be 277$. You're paying with cash or card?- Bucky gave her the Visa and she thanked him, finishing the payment. Y/n glanced at him with a knowing look and a slight smirk. He rolled his eyes and shook his head a little, she furrowed her brows as if to ask 'Why?' and he just mouthed 'No', so she didn't push. For now.

-Thank you for your purchase, congratulations and we hope to see you soon.- the girl said with courtesy, her gaze lingering a bit on the man, whom didn't return the look. You could see the slight disppointment of the girl.

-Thank you, have a nice day.- you saluted her and then headed out with Bucky. An hour had already passed and you still had in mind to buy a few things, but first you needed a break.

-I desperately want a piece of cake. What do you think?- you elbowed him delicately to catch his attention. He turned his head and nodded, still carrying the two bags. You arrived at the mall's cafe and ordered. He picked an iced coffe and you a slice of cheesecake and some tea, knowing that coffe wasn't that good for pregnancy. You took a seat at one of the tables outside, even tho you were still technically inside the mall.

-So, wanna tell me why you didn't accept the clear as the sun advances that the pretty shop assistant did?- you brought the fork to your mouth. He huffed and shrugged.

-Because I am not interested. I don't think I'm in the right mindspace to date right now.- he responded. You exhaled, tilting your head slightly to the side.

-Buck, I know that it didn't end up that smoothly with Nat, but she's gone.- she realized how that sounded like and quickly corrected herself, -I mean, not gone. But...gone, you know?- you cringed at your own words and he snorted.

-Very smooth y/n.- he joked, earning a glare from you.

-Shut up, I'm trying to help here. What I meant that while I understand that things with Nat didn't end up in the best of ways, she went away to give both of you the space you need to get back on your feet.- you paused, drinking a sip of tea, then offring the last bite of cake to him. He shook his head, giving you a lopsided smile.

-Don't worry, it's all yours.- you pointed your finger at him, while chewing the cheesecake. He chuckled.

-Right answer. Anyways, what I'm trying to say here, Buck, is that you have to allow yourself to try again. Because you deserve it. What do you tell me about that person you said you were interested in? I've never seen you with anyone in the last three months.- he looked to the side for a moment casually.

-They're taken so, yeah.- he simply answered, shrugging while taking a sip of coffe. You got sad all of a sudden. You eyebrows knotted in a sad expression and he noticed, giving you a small smile.

-Hey, don't do that. It's okay. I'm not like heartbroken or shit. I'm happy for her.- he assured you, -She.. well she has a family. She deserves it, so I'm happy for her.- he nodded, smiling softly. You smiled at him too, still with a hint of sadness. He took a nother sip of coffe an then raised an eyebrow, looking at you.

-Why are you crying?- he asked confused. You furruwed your brows in confusion and wiped your fingers under your eyes, realizing that a few tears had escaped. At that point without a reason, you started to feel worse and embarassed and a mess, so you sterted to actually sob a little. Bucky got up and moved his chair next to yours, hugging you.

-Hey what's wrong? I promise I'm alright.- he laughed to try and lighten the situation. You hiccupped into his chest.

-I- I know..it's just.. I don't know, these stupid hormones are making me act hysterical.- you had sittle sobs coming out every now and then. He kissed your head while he stroked your back.

-It's okay, you're not hysterical.- he chuckled softly making you smile. You pulled away from him looking in his eyes.

-I'm a mess aren't I?- Bucky wiped a little smudge of mascara under her eye, and then smiled at her lovingly.

-You look just fine, darling.- she hugged him, whispering a 'thank you, I love you' in his ear.

-I love you too- he answered.

After that, they finished their drink and Y/n told Bucky that she wanted to order a few things for the baby so they did just that. They went in a baby-stuff shop and she choose and placed some orders for a crib, a baby seat for both the car and the kitchen and the changing table. You didn't wanted to buy them right away, so you told the shop to bring them at the tower when they wanted.

When you exited the shop, it was already six thirty pm, so you decided to head back at the tower.

In the car, you told Bucky about your idea to get a midwife to help you during your pregnancy and especially when it'll be time to deliver the baby.

-I don't know y/n... I mean I think that you don't need a midwife or some other stranger to take care of you and the baby. You have Steve. You have me, and Sam, Wanda and the rest of the team. Bruce has basically become a doctor of everything, I'm sure that helping to deliver a child isn't that hard.- he shrugged while keeping his eyes on the road.

-I can't and wouldn't expect you all to babaysit me for another four months, Bucky. You have missions, classes, a you know, your own lives.- he glared at you, probably wanting to intervene and contraddict you, but he remained quiet in the end.

-And, you really can't expect Bruce to handle this. He's a fucking physician for God's sake. He's absolutely amazing, but a delivery? No, that would be too much even for him. And I would be kinda embarassed, for crying out loud.- you added with a high pitched voice. You absentmindely started to cradle your belly. He thought about it for a few seconds.

-I don't know y/n, you know how I am with strangers. But in any case it's your and Steve's decision. Please, talk to him. He's been miserable this week without you. He wouldn't shut up about how he was sorry, and stupid and in love with you and that he misses your smile, your belly and I don't know, I stopped listening after a while.- he said exasperatedly. You suppressed a smile.

-Really? - you asked sheepishly. He turned his head to look at you for a second before smiling knowingly.

-You know it's true. Your fucking married, for God's sake.- he said, tired of you two being idiots. He could just imagine how it'll be when you'll become parents. You will be great at it, but also a mess at the same time.

-Hey, Whiny Soldier, how was shopping? - Sam shouted when he saw the two of you coming in the room with your hands full of bags. You didn't see him, but you just knew that he pursed his lips and shook his head.

You came back at the tower just in time for dinner. Vision and Wanda had aprons tied on their chests, while the others were just chilling in the common room. Steve was there too, beside Bruce.

-Shopping was productive, thank you very much.- you answered pointing for Bucky to put down the bags.

-Let me help you take these to your room.- he offered, but you gave him a look and he understood immediately, putting them down. You smiled and kissed his cheek.

-Thank you for being my human cart today.- his jaw dropped, pretending to be offended.

-Oooh- Sam howled and the others laughed. Steve smiled slightly, still mortified by your little 'cold shoulder week' thing.

-You're lucky I can't tickle you to death right now.- he pointed his finger at you before walking to the fridge to pour himself a glass of water.

-Yeah, yeah, like you say big guy.- you teased him. You paused, shifting your gaze to Steve. He was wearing a blue hoodie and gray sweatpants, his dirty blonde hair were starting to get a bit long at the sides and a few strands fell on his forehead, while his jaw was covered with a slight scruff. His puppy dog eyes met yours and you couln't help but melt a little.

-Steve, are you well enough to help me with these?- you asked and even before you could finish he was on his feet. He almost tripped from how fast he tried to reach you.

-Yes I'm perfectly well I mean I'd love to help you. I mean obv- - you raised an eyebrow and he stopped, looking down. The whole team was watching in silence like it was a damn movie.

-I'm rambling, I'm sorry.- he said lowly. You sighed and places three of the four bags in his hands.

-C'mon. And you all, get a life.- you called them out while you two walked to the elevator. A few minutes later, after the short, silent, trip, you arrived to your room. He placed the bags on the bed and you did the same after closing the door behind you.

-Help me take off the price tags.- you invited him. He grabbed the bag, taking out the first garment. It was a white baby onesie, with Captain America's shield logo on it in white, blue, and red. His breath got caught in his throat and he suddenly let out a sob.

You snapped your head up in confusion, your features softening when you saw him. He sat on the bed, head down, onesie still in his hand. You put down the dress you had in your hands and went to sit next to him, since it would've been really uncomfortable for you to bend on your legs now. You hand went istinctively to rub his back.

-Can we talk?- he asks with broken voice. You tilt your head to the side to look at him with the shadow of a smile on your face.

-Only if you stop crying. Or else none of us will be able to talk at all.- he chuckles slightly making you smile lovingly. He wraps his big arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck, your collarbones exposed due to the large shirt you were wearing. The wave of relief that washed over you in that moment was hard to describe.

-I missed you so much, baby. I couldn't stand the thought of you being mad at me. I'm sorry for being so impulsive.- he sniffed while he talked. You nodded, cupping his face gently. Steve melted into your touch.

-I know you are. And I'm sorry too. I know that I've been harsh with you these past days, it's just...- he waited patiently, -You're not responsable for only yourself anymore. I understand, please trust me, I understand what you wanted to do and also that you feel like it's your duty to do that. And it kinda is, but my point is- you shook your head realizing that you weren't really explaining yourself.

-What I mean is that you cannot put your life behind other's. Not for me, not even for the team. We're grown ass adults okay? Fow how much you can love us and we can love you, we are our own person. But this- you placed his hand on your belly, -This had been a choice. Your, mine. We both are responsable for this life. The same way I gave up my job, and the lessons. Now, I'm not asking you to stop going on missions, but I'd like you to be with me as much as possible. And that when you go, you'll be careful. Please, Steve.- you say softly, almost in the verge of tears. Again. You've cried more in five months than in your whole life probably.

-You're right. It was pretty hypocritical of me to get mad at you for the same reason in the first place.- he shook his head in disappointment. You rolled your eyes, adding -Work. I think we'll have to rearrange ourselves in this department.- you smiled and he laughed, agreeing.

-So, are we gonna get these off the bed and use the space in a better way or what?- your lips curled in a seductive smirk that quite shocked him. He recovered quickly, jumping on his feet and placing the bags on the ground in a split second. You threw you head back laughing at his eagerness, but you honestly couldn't blame him. Your hormones were a mess and your horniness at level 100, but you often were either sick, tired, hungry or he was. And not to mention the missions that separated you. So let's say that since you got pregnant the sex decreased noticeably, which was something that you wanted to fix. You phisically missed and needed him.

He returned to you and crashed his lips to yours, and soon enough you were a mess of tongues and lip bites and sucks that got interrupeted just briefly to get your clothes off. He didn't have anything under his hoodie, and you happily noticed that he was completely healed and that his weeks in the tower were due to the lack of new missions. You sincerely hoped it would last. After his hoodie, his pants and boxers were next. With you the situation was a bit more complex: first the light material shirt you had on had to be unbuttoned, then your tank top, the jeans' belt and the pants themselves. When you were left in just your underwear, a plain set of cotton white bra and panties, Steve stopped to look at your body.

He was in awe of you. He rose his hand and started a caress that began on your cheek, his thumb on your bottom lip, then descended to your now fuller breasts, to the curve of your waist to to your baby bump. At that point he bent down on his knees and kissed it softly.

-Hey little one, if you want to take a nap, now it would be a good time.- he whispered directly to the stretched skin. You let out a sound that was halfway between of a whine and a laugh.

-Steve, Jesus Christ.- you covered your face with your hands. You heard him laugh and stand on his feet again. He removed your hands gently, kissing you again with slow, agonizing passion that even let escape a ridiculous whine from your lips at the loss.

-Where were we?- he reached behind your back and unclasped the bra, sliding it off your shoulders and freeing your breasts.

-Mrs and Mr. Rogers I'm sorry to disturb, miss Maximoff would like me to inform you that dinner's ready.- you stopped hearing F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice. You groaned, annoyed at the interruption, but Steve suddenly started to push you on the bed and to lick and suck your boobs.

-Tell miss Maximoff that we have dinner here.- he responded biting softly your nipple, making you whimper.

-It will be done, mr Rogers.-

-Geez Steve, couldn't you be more specific?- you sassed with a deep breath, distracted by your husband's mouth. He snorted moving further down to remove your panties.

-You're already pregnant, couldn't be more obvious than that.- you started to laugh, but it soon became a loud moan when you felt his tongue licking a long stripe on your pussy. You closed your eyes and istinctively wanted to bring your hand in his hair, but you found an obstacle. A medium big, round and naked obstacle. You huffed and Steve stopped, tilting his head to the side, since now you couldn't even see him from between your legs.

-Are you okay?- he asked, worry in his voice. You sat on the bed, helping yourself with your hands. He returned beside you, waiting.

-It's just..ugh I'm so awkward and big and not confident if I have to be honest.- you say for the first time out loud. You wanted to cover yourself by curling your knees to you chest, but again, you swollen stomach didn't allow it. At that point you got even more frustrated.

-Damn it.- Steve places his fingers under your chin and made you look at him. His eyes were serious but not mad.

-Hey, none of that. Do you even realize the miracle your beautiful body is doing? You're creating a whole life in there, baby.- he smiled brightly looking in your eyes, -And by the way, you're still hot as fuck.- that made you laugh. He kept smiling while he made you lay down again on the sheets.

-This beautiful face..these cheeks are even sweeter now.- he peppered them with kisses making you giggle uncontrollably.

-Don't get me started on these ones...- his hands cupped your breasts while his mouth attacked your nipples and the soft skin. You moaned softly, your hand immediately in his short hair, your nails delicately scratching his scalp.

-But you know my most favorite thing?- he kept going, -This.- he was now between your legs, kneeled in front of your stomach. He caressed it and kissed it a few times. Then his gaze locked in yours again. You almost felt hypnotized, both by his velvety voice and his touch.

-I love it because it's round and soft and most importantly because it's giving me a family. A baby. And you know who's giving me all of this? You are. So don't ever be insecure about this wonderful body, please.- you smiled at him softly. Soon enough the mood changed again when he spoke his next words.

-Now, are you gonna let me thank this stunning body like it deserves or not?- you felt the smirk in his voice, his blue eyes hungry. You mirrored his expression propping yourself up on your elbows.

-Would like to see it.- you answer. He huffs out a laugh and reprises what he started doing a few minutes prior. He took good care of you until you came on his tongue, and at that point you grabbed him to crash your lips together. You kept moving and bringing him with you, until he found himself laying down on his back and you straddling his hips. Steve's hands immediately went to your sides, trying to not move and let you do the work, even though all he wanted was to fuck you until you both could't anymore.

You kept you eyes on his while you stroked him a few times before slowly sinking on him. He squeezed both his eyes shut and your hips, huffing a long breath. That could've almost made you laugh if you weren't just as wrecked. Your hips started moving, back and forth, to the sides in painfully slow circular motions. At one point he grabbed your ass, sitting up and making you gasp.

-Doll I'm kinda struggling here- he breathed out kissing your neck while you kept moving. -I want to be delicate but damn.- he nipped at your sweet spot between your neck and shoulder. Your hips started going faster with the help of his hands guiding you and soon enough you were panting and kissing each other passionately and messily.

-Oh, Steve I'm almost there- you moan hugging his head to your chest. He moaned too, reaching in front of you with his hand to circle your clit.

-I'm right behind you baby.- he reassured you while in reality he was trying hard not to come in that exact moment. He craved you more than usual, not only beacause your body was actually so fucking hot to him but also because he hasn't touched you for almost two whole weeks.

Just a few seconds later you gripped his shoulders, hiding your face in his neck. His breath got caught in his troath at the way you clenched around him when you came. And as a cue, he followed you short after, coming inside you. You stayed like that, hugging and cuddling for some minutes, then he kissed you and moved you gently on his side, hissing slightly when you lost contact.

-Be right back.- he said going to the bathroom and returning with a wet wash cloth. He cleaned you up from both of your releases and then went back to throw the dirty fabric in the laundry basket. You looked at him with a lopsided smile, still hazy and quite tired from the recent activity. He mirrored your expression with messy hair, crawling in the bed to you and pulling you on his side after.

-I needed that.- you say. He sighed, -I definetly did too. How come we always end up having sex after we argue or talk?- he asked casually. You shrugged.

-I don't know, the important thing is that the talk comes first and then, the sex.- he agreed with a nod. You chewed on you lip a bit before speaking again.

-Honey- you called, he hummed.

-While you were away last week I started to think about how I will probably need more help in the future, you know. And the fact that you and the others are often away on missions. And I mean it's totally alright, that's work but... I felt so bad when Sam and Wanda were left behind last time. And just to 'babysit' me.- he looked down at you with a frown.

-They offered to stay behind because they wanted to. We're taking turns on missions all the time.- he responded. You barely noticed that he had started to caress your belly.

-That's not the point, you know it. The last mission was quite big. I know my work well enough to know that Fury would've sent all the team, if I weren't left behind. Also by now we both understood that this baby isn't a normal baby and that is why I'm so sick so often. Bruce can't be here all the time, and for how good and skilled he his, he's not an expert in the baby field.- he was listening to you intently, but he wasn't quite sure with where you wanted to go with this.

-What's the point?- he asked, moving a strand of your hair from your face with his fingers.

-The point is, that I've read a lot in these months, and I think that we should hire a midwife. It would be someone that stays with me most of the day and helps me. An actual expert.-

-And how would you explain that our child has the blood of two super soldiers?- his hand motioned himself and you. You got up, towards the bathroom.

-Steve, we share the house with a god, a giant green monster, enhanced people, a witch, a kid that has the powers of a spider and an intelligent robot. I think it wouldn't be a great surprise.- you closed the door, peed and then refreshed yourself before going back to take some clean clothes. You saw that he was waiting for you to get out, probably wanting to shower.

-Okay then, I guess we can arrange that, if that will make you feel better.- he finally spoke. You kissed his cheek, already in your underwear.

-Thank you. You're showering?- he nods, the raises an eyebrow.

-Wanna join?- you laugh and shake your head.

-No, baby not now. I get tired quite easily and if the bed's already a bit difficult to work with, the shower must be a nightmare.- he pouted.

-You're right.-

-But- he stops the door before it closes, waiting for you to continue. -I want to fix your hair and your beard if you let me.- a lopsided smile opens on his face.

-Be my guest.-

After you sat him down on the edge of the bathtub, you shortened the longer strands on top with tiny scissors. After that you picked up the electric razor and groomed the sides, shortneing them but not removing them completely. You did the same with the beard, leaving a short, barely visible scruff. About twenty minutes later you were done. You put down the razor and took a step back to look at your work.

-Perfect.- you commented, brushing the hair that fell on his chest and shoulders. He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror, smiling.

-Is there anything you can't do?- he asked. You smirked, kissing him before starting to clean up.

-No, I'm a woman.-

*************

Tag list: @polarcrystall @a--1--1--3 @silver-winter-wolf @jessyballet

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silverinia · 3 years

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I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

#Christine Baranski #Christmas On The Square #dolly parton #shitty movie reviews by yours truly

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abbacchiosbelt · 5 years

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poly gyjo? S/o is trying to share the wonderful news that there will be a new addition to the family in a few months. One of the boys right away thinks they're getting a new horse. (Spoiler alert it's not a horse, honey.)

thank you for this very cute request! ♡

Morning Surprise | Gyro x F!Reader x Johnny

If Gyro or Johnny has noticed that you’ve been sleeping in later and later and taking more naps, they haven’t said anything. It’s not that your boys aren’t observant — they’d certainly learned to be during the race — but you’ve always been prone to sleepiness. Perhaps they’re just chalking up your extra time in bed to the changing weather.

While you certainly do love spending cold fall morning under the covers with your boys, there’s another reason you haven’t been rolling out of bed in the morning with Gyro and have been sleeping in even longer than Johnny usually does.

The very slight bump to your stomach and the positive pregnancy tests you’d taken answered your questions as to why you’d been so tired weeks ago, but you were waiting for just the right time to tell Gyro and Johnny that you were expecting. The three of you hadn’t been trying for a baby, but you certainly hadn’t been preventing it either. There were already discussions had about the logistics of it all, with the three of you happily agreeing that family was family.

(Whilst Johnny had hidden his face a little and suggested that maybe Gyro should be the biological father, you and Gyro had kissed him and told Johnny that he’d be just as wonderful a father whether the baby was his or Gyro’s. Gyro just wanted a family)

Today was the day you had decided, knowing that your first doctor’s appointment was right around the corner.

The sun had just begun to peek through the blinds when you cracked open your eyes. Gyro’s arm was wrapped around your waist and Johnny’s face was pressed straight into your chest, making you feel a bit bad that you were about to get up… But you were assuaged a little by knowing the surprise you had in store for them.

Johnny barely moves when you get up but Gyro stirs, cracking open one eye.

“Amore?” He says, voice heavy with sleep. You lean down and give him a kiss on the forehead. Once you’ve climbed over Gyro and out of the bed, he tilts his head towards you. “Where are you going?

“I’m just a little restless, I think I’m going to get a head start on my day. You get some more sleep.” Gyro hums at your reply and closes his eyes, snuggling back into the bed and cradling his arm around Johnny in your place.

For a brief moment, you think of how nice it’ll be to have your whole little family cuddled up together, a little boy or girl snug between the three of you on cold nights. You slip on one of Gyro’s oversized sweaters and quietly make your way to the kitchen, intent on making some coffee for Gyro. You wouldn’t admit it to him yet, but you missed his sugary coffee drink already.

With the coffee brewing, you slip on your boots and step outside to get your little surprise going with the help of Valkyrie and Slow Dancer. The money from the race had afforded the three of you a sizeable amount of land with a lovely stable and acres of land for the horses to explore.

Valkyrie whinnies happily when you open the gates to their enclosure. While the boys normally took care of their horses in the morning, you didn’t mind taking over the routine every once and a while. You figure that you’ll leave the finer aspects of the routine for later — for now, you make sure the horses are fed and ready. Slow Dancer nuzzles into your hand when you go to let her out, dipping her head down to sniff at your stomach. Valkyrie does the same and both of them happily trot after you to the open fields.

The horses, of course, had known you were pregnant weeks ago. Animals just had a way of knowing these things, and even Johnny and Gyro noticed the horses had been prone to following you around as of late. You just teased them and said the horses were feeling sweet on you, but you knew they were being protective.

You leave the horses to enjoy the morning dew for a moment while you slip back into the house to grab the chalkboard you’d bought and hidden a couple weeks ago. Leaning against the fence, you smile at the horses before carefully writing a message on both boards: ‘We’re going to be big sisters!’

You hang the boards on the front of the fence, knowing you can attract the horses with treats to get them into position once the boys come outside. Smiling to yourself, you go back into the enclosure to give a kiss to each horse.

“Alright girls, I hope you’re ready.”

Slow Dancer huffs and you give her and Valkyrie another pat before you head back inside.

Once you go back inside the kitchen, you give yourself a pep talk internally and think about the exciting news your boys are going to be hearing. You pour two mugs of coffee and carefully carry them into the bedroom, setting them down on the nightstand before you lightly shake Gyro awake.

It only takes a second for Gyro to rouse himself out of sleep and he sits up without thinking, causing Johnny to slide off. You can’t help but giggle at Johnny’s sleepy groan, a sheepish grin rising on Gyro’s face.

“Good morning,” you softly say. “I’ve got coffee for you.”

“’S too early,” Johnny groans, trying to hide under the covers. Gyro looks at you and raises an eyebrow, and you shake your head. Johnny was going to have to be an early bird today.

“Caro, you’re the last one up today.” Gyro stretches and reaches for the mug, taking a sip and smiling. “Grazie, bella. It’s perfect.”

Johnny grumbles but sits up and leans over Gyro to grab his own cup, sipping quietly.

“What’s got up you up so early anyway?” Johnny asks, the sleepy edge to his voice making his question sound a little sharp.

“I couldn’t sleep well. Actually, I was coming to get you two because there’s something really interesting outside.” Johnny seems to perk up and Gyro grins at you.

“Really? There’s something so interesting you thought to wake the grumpiest man on earth up?” Gyro lets out a ‘nyoho’ when Johnny scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Mhmm,” you say, swaying back and forth on your feet. “Come look at it with me, please?”

“Of course, cara.” Gyro practically hops out of bed and helps Johnny to his feet before handing him his walking stick. Johnny grunts in thanks and the three of you start to head outside. Butterflies come to life in your stomach as you think about your surprise — oh, you know your boys will be excited but it’s just so nervewracking. It’s life-changing. You can only hope they understand your little announcement.

Luckily for you, Slow Dancer and Valkyrie were standing in perfect position behind the chalkboard. Holding back a grin, you stop and turn to Johnny and Gyro, raising your eyebrows.

Both of them stare at the sign for a moment — Gyro squints and it looks like the wheels in Johnny’s head are turning — and then Gyro yelps in excitement.

“Are we getting a new horse?! Is it already here? I want to see it!” Gyro starts off in a sprint to the barn and Johnny calls after him.

Oh no.

“Gyro, wait, that’s not what—oh hell, he’s not gonna listen.” Johnny shakes his head and then turns towards you. “Unless it is?”

“Oh Johnny,” you say, already tearing up. Johnny’s eyes dart towards your stomach and he reaches forward to pull you into a hug, his own eyes starting to fill with water. You can feel his hands shaking but you know it’s just out of nervousness. When he pulls back he’s smiling and god, do you love him so much. “We better go get Gyro…”

Johnny laughs and wipes his eyes but before the two of you can get your more excitable half, Gyro is running back out of the stables with a saddle in hand — and then he sees your face and Johnny’s face and pauses.

“The new horse,” Gyro says, staring at the chalkboard. He looks at you and Johnny, and then back to you before his eyes slide down to your stomach. Gyro’s mouth gapes and then he drops the saddle (earning a grunt of annoyance from Johnny) and he runs at you, picking you up and spinning you around. He puts you down and puts his broad hands on your shoulders, practically vibrating with excitement. “Amore! Caro! We’re going to be parents, yes?

“Yes, dumbass.” Johnny says, a toothy grin on his face.

“Johnny,” you admonish, but he’s crying again and is Gyro, both of them with wide smiles on their faces. Your heart has never felt so full.

There’s a proper discussion later, but the rest of the morning the boys saw fit to take you back to bed and lavish you with the attention that their newly pregnant wife deserved.

#jjba fic #my writing #steel ball run #fluff #poly gyjo #polyposting #gyro zeppeli #johnny joestar #reader insert #she/her pronouns #pregnancy cw #Anonymous

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